#because there is no one way to be enby

[bronzewool]

Not sure how I feel about “enby people are included in sapphic romance books because ‘sapphic’ just means no men”

Like, I appreciate the inclusion, but I personally feel sapphic romance should be for wlw. Otherwise it feels like it peculates stereotypes that enby people are just non-gender conforming women and enby assigned male at birth don’t exist.

We’re not under this “not male” umbrella. We have our own separate umbrella that sometimes overlaps with yours but it’s still ours.

[think-queer]

I've been thinking about why in so deeply bothered by people saying that afab enbies who don't look trans are less oppressed than other trans people. Part of it is just that it is either based in enbyphobia/misogyny (seeing afab enbies as women and seeing women as attention seekers with a victim complex) or it's erasing amab enbies (because if 'looking trans' is such an important part of the trans experience then why wouldn't the same apply to amab enbies who aren't visibility trans)

But I've realized that it's also because it reminds me of one of the most common acephobic arguments I saw back when asexuals were the targets of the "discourse" (aka the main target for bullies in online queer spaces) The argument was that no one can tell you're asexual unless you tell them. That mlm and wlw can be clocked in public by homophobes and thus are the targets of violence but asexuals aren't going to be holding hands with the wrong person so clearly we don't experience any type of oppression. At it's heart it's the same argument I see against afab enbies. It's this idea that going through life hiding your actual identity is a privilege, that somehow staying in the closet all the time is fun and easy, it's the idea that the only meaningful form of oppression is random violence from complete strangers, that non-violent bigotry doesn't really matter, and that violence from people you know is somehow less common or less important. It's people acting as though the only reason that someone might seek out queer spaces is to avoid that violence from strangers, and that seeking out queer spaces for emotional support or to form connections is somehow "taking up resources" or an "invasion" of a space where they don't belong. It's the same oppression olympics that I hate with every fiber of my being, that does nothing but turn us against each other and distract from our actual oppressors.

Afab enbies wanting to exist and be acknowledged no matter their gender presentation is not an act of violence against other trans people.

It took me years to come to terms with my asexuality because of the way asexuals were targeted when I was a teenager, and I hate to think that there are going to be people growing up now that struggle to come to terms with their gender identity because of the way enbies are being talked about.

[waterme-stories]

Valentine Vuong is a transfemme they/them enby, I am not accepting criticism at this time 😇

[clawsextended]

in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.

[r0semultiverse]

In case you didn’t know or needed to hear it, things do get better after you turn 18. Your life isn’t over even when you hit 21. 💜

This is me at vaguely around my mid-twenties. I’m trans & I’m here & while I don’t have everything figured out, I certainly have figured myself out way more than when I was younger. 💜 Yes it gets better. Yes you can grow older & be trans. There are people out there willing to love & accept you for you. There are partners, friends, family to be found. Don’t give up! 💪 Be proud, be loud, & let your rage out! Down with cis! Let’s rock this joint & keep on living!! 🖤 Things will be less noisy eventually, just please live! ⭐️

💖 You are worth it & it gets better! 💜

[bisexualseraphim]

Alright fine I’m gonna speak my mind.

My cis followers, listen up:

Being attracted to trans people is not inherently a fetish. The way you speak about trans people CAN be fetishistic, but 99% of the time when I see cis people calling out trans fetishism it’s literally just. Someone being really horny for a trans person. That’s not inherently fetishistic.

Sorry but it actually hurts me a little when I see cis people claim that a content creator is being fetishistic for drawing a trans guy with tits and a pussy, or for writing smut where a trans guy really enjoys using his pussy for sex, or God forbid said trans guy is fem. Trans people like that exist, you know. I myself have a pussy and fuck yes do I want people I’m in a relationship with to be attracted to it. And the same goes for many transfemmes who keep their natal parts, especially butch transfemmes.

Trans people are not a monolith. We don’t all hate our bodies or experience dysphoria or express our genders the same way. I swear to God cis people are all “allies” until a trans man is fem or a trans woman is butch or an enby isn’t androgynous or we actually enjoy our bodies or we have a kink or sexual fetish you don’t like.

Cis people: I know your hearts are in the right place and I appreciate that, but spouting “oh this content is fetishistic and Bad because trans men NEVER like their vaginas and are NEVER feminine” (or something equal to other trans people) is seriously not the allyship you think it is.

There is absolutely a conversation to be had about fetishising trans people — chasers in particular — but it’s quite a bit less black and white than hating certain FICTIONAL portrayals of trans people because these types of trans people exist in real life and we can see what you say about us.

I love my dick and my pussy (because I have both — are you aware we can have both?) but I saw a post today by someone I really like that actually made me feel kind of shit about myself because it was a cis person essentially saying that smut that describes my genitals in any particularly horny light is fetishistic and that really kind of hurt me. It made me feel like people think I’m undesirable due to my body only it was said in some backwards attempt to be an ally which is almost worse than deliberate transphobia lol.

I guess my point is: not all trans people’s feelings and experiences are universal. Call out obvious transphobia when you see it, yes, but please stop speaking for us about complex situations you just can’t fully understand unless you’re trans. Trans identities and experiences can be so much more complicated than what mainstream celebrities and articles will tell you and I just really need cis people to stop behaving as though the issues we face are a quick and easy fix. It never is. Sometimes the best allyship is to listen to how WE feel and take it into consideration instead of saying whatever you think we want you to say — because a lot of the time, we don’t.

[ded-lime]

hmm ok i mean yeah im not that into aus like sometimes i like them and theyre fine but others are just kinda the same across fandoms like school aus or modern aus or whatever and-- but what if its with fgo characters-- FUCKKK BUT WHAT IF THEY GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHRR 😭😭😭

[netherdevil]

gender fluiding

[drunk0nheat]

Hey, guess what!

Identity policing and gatekeeping doesn't stop being identity policing and gatekeeping just because you say so.

You can tell me the world is flat all you want. It will continue to be round.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Are you in search of a fair maiden with whom to share a tender embrace?

yes

[mantisgodsdomain]

Very fun to be an dormant Homestuck in 2023. We saw a post with an aside about the mid-to-highblood bias present in the fandom and we took a moment to think "wait, what?" before remembering how much people posted about Mallek, Lanque, and Marvus. Obviously no one asked our opinion on the matter but we think that a lot of the bias here may just be because fandom people will jump at any vaguely conventionally attractive male character who can say something angsty, and we don't see 99% of this effect because we rapidly get fatigued with any character who is overly present in the fandom and any ship that has overrepresentation in the sample size and start blocking tags.

Very highly effective approach, admittedly, but it leaves us a bit out of the loop. We only really start encountering Issues with that approach in smaller fandoms when blocking any given popular ship will instantly shrink our mutual circle to Just Us and maybe, like, one guy who we dragged in here ourself, so we have to relax blocking standards somewhat and just make it "blocked for a week" or something similar.

[halfricanloveyou]

here’s the thing about being nonbinary for me personally: it is not and has never been about breaking boundaries or daring to be different or freedom of gender expression that made me suddenly choose to be nonbinary.

i have always been this way. i’ve always known but never fully understood why i felt so uncomfortable being a woman. it had nothing to do with leaning more towards femininity or masculinity or gender roles or hating women.

i have always felt that i have never been a woman. it never felt right to me being defined as one. though i share a lot of experiences with women due to society seeing me as a woman and people in society treating me that way, disliking femininity wasn’t what made me think i was nonbinary.

what made me really fully realize and understand was when i realized that when it came to me personally, i didn’t care about femininity OR masculinity. i didn’t really think in those kinds of terms when it came to myself either. the idea of gender isn’t one i felt applied to me, as a person.

i didn’t care about being a woman. i didn’t care about what things were labeled as “feminine” or what i was supposed to be like as a woman. i didn’t WANT to be a woman. i didn’t feel like a woman.

at the same time, i didn’t want to be masculine. i didn’t want to be seen as a man. though i feel i have more in common with men, i still never felt that i was a man.

it was always really difficult and alienating for me, not understanding why i felt so much dysphoria at being seen as a woman OR as a man. why being called either just never felt fully right to me. why trying to be either felt like a chore or a costume i had to put on, and when i was called or mistaken as either i felt like i wanted to scream and cry. why i never understood why i wasn’t good enough as either gender, not feminine enough or masculine enough, not fitting into either category.

i tried to force myself to be a woman. i tried really hard to be more feminine, really hard to force myself to see myself as a woman. i tried really hard to be like the many women i know and have known. and i tried the same on the opposite end. i tried to force myself to be more masculine. i tried to dress differently and posture differently. and it still felt deeply wrong to me.

i’d always appealed more to animals specifically because they didn’t have to worry or care about whether they were seen as boys or girls and they could be loved just as dearly even when their owners had no idea or what gender they were. how being a girl or a boy had very little impact on who they were because it didn’t really matter to them, and how people were always excited to see a dog or cat and what gender they thought the animal was didn’t change how they approached that animal because in reality, whether the animal was a boy or a girl came secondary to the fact that it WAS a pet, a dog or a cat, and in reality nobody really cared about what gender the animal was. and the animal itself also didn’t care or have any sense of it’s own gender outside of hormones and reproduction.

with the several farm cats i owned gender meant nothing when it came to their group dynamics: the cats that were “in charge” or the more combative cats that would chase off and fight cats outside of their colony or the ones who would hunt and bring food to share with each other, who were protective of the other cats in the colony and would attack any troublemakers that intentionally tried to pick a fight; or the ones who preferred to lay back and were more affectionate, who would all lay together and who would simply sit and stare when a cat they were unfamiliar with tried to enter their territory; or the cats that were the ones who seemed to be targeted and picked on by the other cats, who pushed the boundaries of the cats around them, who would randomly pick fights just to lose consistently, who would growl at the other cats and get into spats only to run away or be chastised; gender had nothing to do with which cats tended to fall into which role.

the cats i had that tended to be skittish or aggressive or active or affectionate…gender had no bearing on any of that. i always felt so jealous of that. i wanted to be a cat (especially in childhood lol) because i wanted to live in a world that had a dynamic like that. a world where gender didn’t matter, where no one really had any concept of gender and it really didn’t matter. no cat cared about whether the other was male or female and it didn’t change how they interacted. (unless it was something like intact male vs neutered male or female cat in heat and male cat)

when i finally heard the term non binary, that it was something that even existed, i knew instantly that it sounded like me. i was scared at first, went through a lot of self doubt and questioning myself, calling myself stupid for considering it. but then i started to understand what it really meant.

a gender identity that is neither male or female. a gender identity where the concept of gender simply didn’t apply. an identity where you didn’t have to pick one or the other or lean into one or the other. and once i finally let myself accept that identity i finally felt right. i didn’t have to pretend to care or go out of my way to be feminine or masculine. i didn’t have to care about being a lady or a woman or lean into being a man or wanting to present as masculine or any of that. i didn’t have to be what i was “supposed to be.” i didn’t have to be a tomboy or a girl that was proud to have masculine interests and still be as much of a woman as a feminine girly type of woman. i didn’t have to be a man at my core, being proud to have feminine interests while defining myself as just as much of a man as a more masculine man.

none of those felt right or felt like me or who i was. knowing that i didn’t have to force myself to be any gender or present/lean into any feminine or masculine ideal was freeing to me. that i could like any of the things i wanted without really thinking about whether they were feminine or masculine was so relieving. i could decide it didn’t matter to me. i could be someone who was neither or someone who none of those ideas applied to.

though i still suffer from low self esteem issues and mental health issues, i finally don’t hate myself for not being able to choose one identity or the other. i finally understand why i am the way that i am and why i felt so wrong and inadequate and unable to be the woman or man i was supposed to want to be.

in understanding that i didn’t have to be either if i didn’t want to, i was finally able to accept the person i’ve always been. and i’m finally able to accept that that person exists, even if people don’t understand or are disgusted by them or make fun of them. even though it’s supposed to be one or the other. i don’t have to choose. i don’t have to pick the option my body is biologically defined as.

[embryhallowed]

Hmmm

Hmmmm

Hmmmmmmmm

[vintage-bentley]

Day 100 of being annoyed whenever people talk about how good monster high is about “LGBTQIA+” representation, and they’re talking about 13 years of “it’s just not the right time” supposedly rectified by one Girl In STEM turned they/them (very interesting choice, totally not sexist).

[the-acid-pear]

I honestly wish i could feel as bad as your average joe feels about snowgrave bc i really wasn't, as traumatized as some ppl imply they fucking are. About Noelle, at least. Her side of the tale just didn't hit me that hard at all. I guess it's the way people paint it like YOU'RE FORCING HER TO KILL when it's, true but it's, idk, more nuanced. I still shat my pants over my two sigmas (Pink Addison and Berdly) dying tho.

[sovamurka]

Doomsday // Конец Света (2022)

Varvara 'Varya' Bazhenova & Azazello 'Azik' Mitrohin

- Why didn't you tell me about all of this?

- Because you fell for a demon. For the beautiful and magnificent one!

- Are you dumb? I fell for someone who talked to me when nobody else gave a shit and who looked at me differently!

- And you don't care for who I am?

- And you left me because of this?

- I didn't. I just... panicked. I felt awful, scared, anxious and...

- It's completely normal. You're human now, remember?