#can you tell I should be studying?
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Look, eurovision season has started. National finals are in full swing, lots of songs competing, and you're worrying about your favourites making it through to the grand international compétition. We've all been there. We know the symptoms: the epic highs and lows, the screaming and the crying, the euphorias and the sallads. Tired days, evenings spent watching three streams in tandem while frantically searching for a viable link to the fourth, and the sleepless nights after people inevitably select the wrong damn song.
But worry no more!
Introducing: Fall Asleep to Mello! When all hope of respite seems lost, put your faith in points announcements from the Melodifestivalen archives, spliced together for your viewing pleasure into a 6-hour voting bonanza! We welcome you to voting purgatory, where there are no winners and no losers, just people perpetually caught in some of the longest moments of their lives—now available Worldwide. Enjoy the maths, awkward moments and muppet-worthy language by streaming for free today on SVT Play!
#this is not a rickroll#SVT actually put this together#god bless TV archives#I may legit watch this for fun even though I don't have insomnia lmao#schlager nerding#melfest#melodifestivalen#esc#eurovision#eurovision song contest#can you tell I should be studying?
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satine and that idiot ginger sister of hers
#star wars#star wars fanart#the clone wars#satine kryze#duchess satine#bo katan kryze#this is my first time drawing them#can you tell#i dont like how I drew satine it’s not accurate esp her face#it’s just a doodle but still…I should study her#nutty artwork ♡
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guy who so desperately tries to find god. who wants to have faith in a higher authority to guide him out of the hole he's in. from the weight of guilt from simply existing, as the person he is. but every time he thinks he's answered his higher calling it turns out he's made the Morally Incorrect choice and his path to goodness and holiness was the road to the devil all along
#now trusting god will give you a way out? there's your real crime!!!#guy betrayed by the protestant promise of a direct connection with god. but is also somehow. joan of arc.#see he never achieves actual martyrdom tho bc he's not allowed to stay dead lmaooo#sam somehow the most unintentionally catholic AND protestant character of all time#dean the atheist who sees religious predestination as the curse it is from the get go. framed as the narrative's Real Moral Authority#but also in the process reifying patriarchal familial power n authority. very very important Value of the Church#i don't think it's that deep. the show's attempt at critiquing christianity. but the way it reinforces christian cultural values???#'religious predestination and absolute faith in a higher authority...bad'#nice nice ok tell me more?#“so you should put your faith in family. in your patriarch (big brother)”#?????????#the thematic incoherence of it all. it's like the world's stupidest puzzle box to me. i can't leave it alone.#sam = maybe i can find god thru following my destined path. wait oh shit.#cas = maybe i can find god thru rebellion and seeking my own destiny. wait oh shit.#dean = god is fucking dead and me i also feel not so good#the “guy who so desperately wants to find god parallel” <- me coming out as a secret sastiel fan#both of them...finding god in de-[sniper on the roof kills me in one shot]#spn bible studies#j.txt
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Draw your favorite ghost! Mine's Ember.
“That would be me. Surprise.”
(ayyy flaming hair favs club :D)
#danny phantom#danny phantom fanart#dp#dp fanart#dark danny#dan phantom#ney’s art#okay let’s not pretend this is shocking#but still#uh. here ya go!#the last like three requests have all had dan in em too so ig you all like him as much as i do#for the life of me i cannot draw this guy in the same style as the others#he just. doesn’t translate in my brain#maybe i should do some studies idk lmao#on the bright side it makes for great muscle practice!!#can you tell i’m doing as many of these as quickly as i can#because i definitely am. trying to take advantage of the brainrot has side effects#namely—hand cramps#stretch people! do as i say not as i do.#you've got great taste btw op—ember is great#I'll add her to my to-draw list
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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)
#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell#and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling#Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy#he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore#fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors#so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested#as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments#and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group#separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader#and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him#but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line#like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security#one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again#“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying#education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy#Trigun Uni! AU#because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#wolfwood#vash#Nai saverem#millions knives#lenssi draws#pen!
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i got an email today from my uni that was sent to all students from the faculty i'm in and it's a job offer for a project from the uni's school museum where they catalogue and analyze old school note/exercise books from 1820-1950s and...idk i should probably apply right??? They're not even asking for a CV (mine would be empty), how often do you get that lmao. And it's only 6 hours a week, starting this October and the project is supposed to last 3 months and there is a possibilty of the museum hiring you for longer. And i mean, if it sucks i guess i can push through the 3 months? should i do it ahhhh my panic brain is screaming but it's not often that there is a job offer that is that nice
#i have to take a pic in which i dont look like a huge idiot for the application and tell them why i want the job which is doable i guess#i mean the photo part will be difficult lol#it could very well be that i wont get the job anyway although it fits my studies very well so that might be a bonus point in their eyes#i'm just so nervous i never had a job if you dont count the two trial days in a restaurant & a drug store where i was constantly on the#edge of a complete panic#but I SHOULD DO THIS RIGHT????? I SHOULD DO THIS!!!!!!#i've really heavily considered applying for a shitty job these past weeks and now this that's a sign lmao#although i will start studying full time next semester and then a job on top will be hard but many ppl do it so i can too#also reading through real ppls school note books from 19th 70-200 yrs ago is pretty cool
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Just retrieved my sketch book and reminded myself there was a time where I did draw every day and I kinda enjoyed it even though I was just copying stuff from Youtube tutorials and then I think I got overwhelmed with too much "if you want to get BETTER you HAVE to do ALL THESE THINGS you HAVE to DRAW EVERY DAY and you have to PRACTICE DRAWING BASIC SHAPES and you HAVE TO THINK ABOUT SHADING" and EVERYTHING YOU DO LOOKS BAD BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING THESE EXACT SPECIFIC TIPS" and idk I feel like those kind of tips also ruined writing for me and idk maybe if I'd just kept up doing silly little Youtube tutorials I'd be able to draw a cartoon cat without having to look at a reference by now which isn't exactly what I want to do but it would be something?
#anyway i should be studying for the jlpt#you can tell i've actually signed up for the exam now bc i suddenly want to do anything BUT study japanese#i'm also currently fighting the urge to see what second-hand instruments i can buy for cheap#girl you do NOT need an accordian or a violin or a lute stfu#chough chatterings
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i kinda suck at this college thing
#artwork#wingdings and me#gaster#wd gaster#i cant afford therapy so instead i married a man who only exists in my head#honestly best decision ever made bc otherwise i'd be very much neglecting my well-being#he tells me to shower and eat#and motivates me to study perspective and image composition as you can see#ily dings thank you for taking care of me since 2016#should i tag ut/dr in self insert art bc honestly#undertale#deltarune
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i feel like there’s this stereotype in gender studies that only women can be interested in them or only women can want to talk about female historical figures and like . i’m not a woman just because i decided to take a gender studies approach to my essay 😭
#i went to listen to an author at a round-table yesterday and she talked about how silly she finds the idea that if you are a certain Type of#someone (belonging to a certain race gender age religion etc) you can’t write about certain topics . she brought it up in relation to how#she being mixed-race should not just be confined to telling stories about mixed-race people . thats shes more than just the category society#has decided she is . and she had a lovely quote that’ll stick with me ‘understanding someone is not linked to assigned identity but to#empathy’ and thats the thing really . when you tell a man he can’t be interested in gender studies because he’ll ‘never get it’ or whatever#you are cutting him off from his want to learn and empathise . why would you ever do that#the neat little boxes we’ve made up to organise our lives don’t actually exist guys . you can do whatever you want forever#i as a trans nb guy can focus on female figures and do my silly little gender studies and nothing has to explode#and im not ‘woman lite’ or ‘not actually trans’ for it good lord#jay rambles
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🥬🥬
#ocs#heightened senses sometimes mean you can feel the single piece of lettuce being picked out of your hair FJSKSKDJDKSJ#I’m back on my bullshit and so are they 😂💀#valen truly living by gaslight gatekeep girlboss#I should be studying but all I can do en is thinking about my blorbos and make silly art#2024 is the year of the silly comics I’m manifesting it jskskdkfj#it’s how I tell my lore#my ocs#my art#valen x gideon#I’m not obsessed with them I promise
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the more I stare at this map of australia the more our almost-megacities make no fucking sense
#tell me why sydney is so big you don’t have answers? neither do I!#and for once I’m gonna include perth in this too. cities should grow to the size of adelaide and then stop#you COULD get away with arguing Sydney is 14 cities in a trench coat (it is) but they’re all practically on top of each other#maybe we need rules about how close together they can be too#because it’s like if a house has 100 beds and all the people just pile into 4 beds to sleep even if that means they’re on top of each other#silver studies urban design
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The Bonfire of the Thrawnities
When Thrawn critics go all medieval on your ass.
#thrawn#thrawn critical#thrawn police#an historical example of what happens when people police what others read or how they should interpret literature or what they should like#morality police#remind you something?#religious fanatics#fundamentalism#dare I say *fascism*??#Bonfire of the Vanities#15th-century Florence#Girolamo Savonarola#bad Dominican friars#I wouldn't call Savonarola's Florence a *fascist* city-state or anything#we have all studied more recent and more horrifying examples of fascist states or fundamentalist theocracies burning books#so when people--however well meaning--tell you how you should interpret literature#you may remind them that this kind policing can have devastating consequences when taken to the extreme#and is a hallmark of authoritarian regimes#and religious extremists#sorry not sorry for my horrendous photoshopping skills
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I know this fandom is doomed because people will look you in the eyes or reply to your comment and say that we don’t know that lightsingers are associated with light or singing.
#can you tell I’m still thinking about a convo I had last night#the ACOTAR fandom should be studied#they take everything we say in bad faith and it drives me crazy
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Ok for some reason I'm starting to see more and more art that looks photorealistic af - sometimes with timelapse videos - only to go to the artist's blog and realise that they just take a photo, apply filters, and paint over it. It's so obvious too when you compare it to a few works where they actually painted themselves from scratch, the difference in quality is really visible, and I'm not talking like "drawing you made from imagination versus drawing you made with a reference" different, I'm talking "there's no way these two drawings are made by the same person" different.
It's also crazy that painting progress videos aren't actually proof of anything either. People just manipulate that shit. I've seen videos deconstructing these, the fake artists just paint over the photo, then erase certain parts and reverse the process to make it look legit 🤨
And btw painting over a reference is a legit way of making a drawing, however controversial it might be, but if you do it, you have to disclose your painting method and give credit to photos used, not pretend you just made it from scratch.
#it's very difficult to tell unless you're an artist working in a similar style#these artist would also claim it's a 'study' which can explain the difference in quality of their work when they don't use a ref pic#but even their progress videos just don't make sense to me and look off#for one because the sketches they make look vastly different from piece to piece#and if you do studies that are indistinguishable from real photos often#then you should be able to do basic stuff without a ref. and yet#this is just frustrating bc I've seen a couple of such artists on my dash this past week#I don't think i can prove anything so this is all alleged. btw#but i trust my gut#vik.txt
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Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart
#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but#you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they#should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc#they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant#the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look#exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway#god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else#inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home#i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty#there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air#med school students walking to their lectures#she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now#there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven#ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen#tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you#more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO#ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over#i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself#that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too#its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW#BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND#WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway#standing up it just feels so#exhausting#like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever
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