#i have to take a pic in which i dont look like a huge idiot for the application and tell them why i want the job which is doable i guess

[scentofpines]

i got an email today from my uni that was sent to all students from the faculty i'm in and it's a job offer for a project from the uni's school museum where they catalogue and analyze old school note/exercise books from 1820-1950s and...idk i should probably apply right??? They're not even asking for a CV (mine would be empty), how often do you get that lmao. And it's only 6 hours a week, starting this October and the project is supposed to last 3 months and there is a possibilty of the museum hiring you for longer. And i mean, if it sucks i guess i can push through the 3 months? should i do it ahhhh my panic brain is screaming but it's not often that there is a job offer that is that nice

[batfamtv]

me after writing smut: is this who i am? is this who i represent? lmao i've never written smut until trese, i guess the thirst was too much, let me know how y'all like it! thank you so much for all your support, ily <3

(ﾉ´ з `)ノ

kambal x reader; established relationship

gif by @rasputinaillyanna (see their original gifsets here!)

sfw

the three idiots

seriously, alexandra feels like she keeps aging 20+ years whenever you three are together and goofing around

this is one of the reasons why you’re not allowed on the field with them, they’d get absolutely nothing done

that, and the twins simply wont put you in danger under any circumstances

alexandra also treats you like a sister (in law) and wants you safe, but can only do so much to keep you out of their lives since you still find ways to help them out

absolutely rowdy when you’re with basilio, you and him practically have a lot of inside jokes and a secret language

people would give you both weird looks when you’re out in public, just because you’re both so damn loud

with crispin you’re more mature (but not a lot), he does these grand gestures like taking you out on expensive dates, takes instagram/pinterest style pics of you

basilio also takes pics of you, but those are some of the most unflattering ones that he sends to your groupchat as memes

the ppl who arent familiar with your relationship with the twins are almost often confused when they see you with just the one twin: they’d think “huh i saw this couple a week ago, but i could have sworn the boyfriend had much shorter hair, it couldn’t have grown that long in a week, right?”

when you do go out with the twins, they flank you and you almost get squished in between them, so sometimes you have to push them both to the sides so that you would have space to move around

the three of you like to just chill at the mall sometimes, go window shopping and then eat samgyup/mang inasal later on

other times when you manage to drag alexandra with you, people would assume that you guys are on a double date, and alexandra has the ugliest/most disgusted look on her face as she corrects them “these are my brothers” “im gay”

in your groupchat (just you and the twins) crispin is the sweet, doting one who would text you “have you eaten?” “want us to pick something up for you on the way home?” while basilio sends you memes and selfies of the twins

they send you videos and pics of pets they meet “today we met brownie and blackie”

with regards to living arrangements, the twins have separate rooms (basilio’s is the messy one, smells weird)

when you moved in, alexandra offered you your own room, and most of the time that’s where the boys stay anyway

the bed is much larger than theirs because it needs to accommodate all three of you

you three try to cook meals for ate alexandra, but it almost always turns out disastrous - mostly when basilio insists on helping

so you always make him run errands (“can you go pick up some more garlic and magic sarap”) while you and crispin man the stoves

you braid basilio’s hair while crispin tunes his guitar!!

and you spend a couple of hours listening to crispin play the guitar, basilio’s head now resting on your lap

crispin’s movie taste are like *film* and *poetic cinema* while basilio might enjoy movies that are so bad they’re good, but you three are all suckers for superhero ensemble movies and horror movies

the boys become really annoying when watching filipino horror movies because they like to point out mistakes in the film “aswangs dont do that” “why would you go there all alone are you stupid???”

“please boys i just wanna watch the movie”

a huge cuddle pile

both boys run hot, so during cold nights (that never happen, bc you live in the philippines) you’re all warm and toasty between them

both light sleepers! they were pretty heavy sleepers when they were kids/teenagers, but the occupational hazard of their jobs require them to be ready at a moment’s notice

they still, however, snore quite loudly

crispin doesn’t ever tend to move positions when sleeping, he wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in

basilio rotates around the bed like hands of a clock

most often falls off the bed, but clumsily climbs back up and cuddles you

really really simpy when it comes to you, though most of the time it’s just you three sharing one brain cell (it’s with you, mostly), they can be quite romantic and cheesy if they want to

crispin probably has his brother as just “Basilio” on his phone, and “Y/N ❤️" for you

basilio has “my love ❤️😍😘💘 ” for you and crispin’s number isn’t even registered lol

nsfw under the cut

nsfw

threesome? threesome

boys barely do anything separately and usually just have a Single Thought in both their heads, so if one is horny, the other one is 69% (lol) horny as well

you realize that crispin doesn’t like to be teased at work, but basilio enjoys it so much

you find this out when you’re alone and horny, so you send a pic of you touching yourself to the boys in your groupchat

crispin sees it first, but doesn’t say anything?? he honest to god just left you on read

meanwhile basilio also sees your pic not too long after and you quickly get a “what the fuck” as a reply from him

like 10 mins later he sends you a pic of him in what looks like a washroom and his cock is straining in his pants

he texts you “had to find a washroom so fucking fast so that ate alex and the police captain doesn’t see me so fucking hard in my pants” and “wanna eat you pussy babe”

crispin does text you when the three are on their way home, not mentioning the picture you sent “we’re on our way home”

and at first you thought he is mad at you bc he didn’t bring the nude up?? does he not want you anymore :(

but the moment they arrive crispin all but sprints to your shared bedroom and sees you there, in your underwear

holds your cheeks in one hand, “what the fuck was that baby, hmm? what did you send us?”

you try to ask if he’s mad bc you sent him a nude, ask him if there’s anything wrong, but he just lets your face go as he takes his suit off, basilio finds his way to your room, locks it, and gives you a kiss

basilio whispers “missed you baby” against your mouth before moving away to undress

crispin, now fully naked in front of you, makes you suck his cock, which is hard and twitching, its tip leaking with precum, he makes you place both his hands on your head, “do you know how surprised i was when i saw a text from you and it’s a picture of you touching your cunt? hmm?” he sighs as he sees you looking up at him, eyes watering as you struggle to take all of his cock down your throat “i had to stop myself from getting hard in front of everyone, baby, basilio couldn’t even do that”

basilio huffs but the boys reposition you so you’re in bed and on your back, crispin kneeling to your side, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, basilio positions himself between your thighs, moaning when he sees how wet you are

basilio removes your panties before rushing to sniff your cunt, groaning in delight--you’re sure his eyes roll to the back of his head before he dives into your cunt

you moan into crispin’s cock and he grunts, shoving more of his cock into your mouth, now moving faster, “i really wanna cum down your throat baby, would you let me?”

you nod and he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth, your nose practically touching his groin and pubes

you gag, for a moment panicked as you try to breathe in, while crispin just eyes you, his cock growing ever harder when he looks at your face wet with tears and drool, he grabs your hair, softly at first, to make sure you’re okay, and when you nod crispin groans as he sets up his pace, groaning as he feels his orgasm building

basilio, meanwhile, is licking and sucking your clit with three fingers knuckles deep in your cunt, and when he starts to feel you spasming, a telltale sign that your orgasm is approaching, he pulls his mouth and fingers out and quickly replacing them with his fat cock

immediately, you and basilio both groan, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel yourself so full of cock

basilio curses under his breath before taking your legs and resting them against his shoulders “fuck, y/n, im sorry i’m not gonna last long” “your pussy got me so fucking hard you tasted so good baby, you know how much i love your little pussy, right?”

crispin groans at this before he pulls his cock out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, he then moves down your neck and your tits, making sure he marks your chest

basilio whimpers and thrusts three more times before releasing a long groan, his cum exploding deep in your pussy “fuck baby you feel so good” he manages to pull out and you see his cock wet with his cum and your juices before settling beside you, panting harshly

you barely had the type to recuperate before crispin flips you on your stomach, making sure your face is resting on the pillows before he thrusts into you with a grunt

“fuck, still a tight little pussy after basilio rammed your cunt, huh?”

your eyes rolling, you couldnt do much other than hold onto the sheets and basilio’s hand, moaning loudly when you feel crispin’s fingers on your clit

“can you take one more, y/n? can your pussy take one more load?”

speechless, you nod, trying to grind your ass against crispin’s hips, but his hands on your hips hold you firm

he grunts approvingly, “good baby, take it deep in your pussy okay? and cum on my cock, baby, i wanna feel it”

you cum on his cock, almost violently, and twins groan at the sound of your moaning, and the sight of you spasming and shaking on crispin’s cock

a couple of deep thrusts later, crispin also cums deep into your pussy, his cum now mixed with basilio’s

crispin moves to get a washcloth to clean the three of you up, before all three of you collapse in bed, huddled together, basilio with his arms wrapped from behind--already falling asleep, you rest your head against crispin’s arm

“so, no more nudes when you’re at work?”

crispin laughs softly before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “unless your cunt is ready to take two cocks at once, no nudes when we’re at work”

[kamil-a]

its not about winning at girl. its about the boyfriends you make along the way.

this is like peak toxic elliot. hysterical but also uncomfortable!!

-elliot stay is what happens when you do communicate (discovering youre into your gf yelling at you to take care of yourself) and nonstay is what happens when you don't communicate (getting relationship advice from peter white)

-the WHOLE arc hes been so restrained, like, can you move in with meeee nooo sorry sorry i asked that im such a jerk!! and then the last second its like. you WILL drink the potion. and then later on he’s like You WILL move in with me. i cant STAND it anymore.

-afterward peters like ohhhhoho making her drink the thing is only delaying the inevitable though BOYS SHE HAD 1 DUTY POINT SHE WOULDVE JUST STAYED ANYWAY!!! 

-on an "alice’s will sneaking around backwards to make things happen to her" level, this was probably her own ambivalence, though.

-WHICH DOES NOT EXCUSE THE SHITTY BUNNY LOVE ADVICE CLUB.

-she describes elliot’s medicine kiss as feeling assaulted and it’s so so so uncomfortable to read. i definitely felt physically bad a little bit as i was reading it. 

-but it feels, yknow, not out of nowhere? it’s like you big idiot you asked PETER for RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. "you have to force kiss your gf" THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID RABBIT!!!

-its a little bit like. alice looked so firmly away from Elliots Questionable Actions And Traits that it all sprung up at once as soon as the pressure was on. and a lot a bit like qr's coercive quota had to be filled lmfao. but you know

-endless witchery

-babe it’s 202th turn time for your awful vial. (repeats forever)

-really not giving her the credit of even letting her choose

-the longer she stays the more duty points she could accrue theoretically and duty points win over any medicine!! it’s a losing gamble!!

-the wider the pool of characters who also make alice drink the potion mouth to mouth gets the funnier it becomes that julius ends his route by feeding her coffee like that. like she already decided to stay on her own he was just feeling like he missed out. obviously the winner is vivaldi for her incredible "the love between us made the bitter medicine taste like roses" maneuver

-ace isn't in the finale at all because he's on his way he just got lost cmon hes like okay i went to go give julius all the alice/elliot gossip and how she totally turned my dance offer down and now im walking home from the tower im almost there - oh it's over???

ace later, probably: you’re still a traitor btw ^_^ alice: TO WHO?!?!? IM HATTER NOW ace: ^__^ not a castle issue not a hatter issue not a park issue but a secret fourth thing....

-elliot DID realize alice was lying to him. he is smarter than she counted on him being.

-i posted the b/a/e pics last night but like its a huge power move for alice to express her actual insecurity with her own relationship and blood telling her “thats a good thing, actually, youre just bragging” and immediately she NO U!!!!! ‘s him so hard he gets all caught out being affectionate and sulks. 

-blood being accused of having affection for anyone: >:0

-really at the end of the day blood had a very good point though. if you feel you cant Do anything substantial for your boyfriend and he just enjoys your love and company for some crazy reason.... thats a good thing! that’s you being loved. i hope she learns that lesson.

-and she’s gonna be a hatter girl now so that’s more of her worries put to bed.

-TWO OF A KIND SIBLINGS BLOOD AND VIVALDI elliots like can i kidnap my gf and bloods like sure just dont half-ass it and then vivaldi watches the kidnapping go down and is like how DARE you.... carry her over your shoulder and not romantically in your arms

-you knowww theyre gossiping about it in the rose garden.

-elliot voice im sowwy for kidnapping you . to my house. im so so sowwy Do you hate me

-SHE STILL DOESNT KNOW BLOOD BROKE ELLIOT OUT OF PRISON OR THAT BLOOD PROMISED TO KILL ELLIOT. BY THE WAY

[not-ur-normie]

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+ Diavolo)

Hey there! This is my very first headcanon thingy, so i would like to apologise for my bad english, its not my mother language. Also, it was so long ago when i last wrote anything similar in english, so once again, sorry. 

Anyway, i really wanted to write it, so let me know if you like it! + If you want general group headcanons with them as a kpop group, pls let me know it as well! (Or a similar one with Simeon, Luke and Solomon, hehe) Love! 

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+Diavolo)

DIAVOLO - The CEO of the company - It was the main goal in all his life to see Lucifer shining on stage - Okay, not, actually he only knows Lucifer since a shitty survival program - I mean, Lucifer is already hiper super extra giga mega beautiful in his eyes, but! Lucifer! on! stage! is the main Lucifer - So he maid a company for him - Lucifer was like 'wtf dID U DO' (okay, he didnt say it in this way, but-) - He is an understanding boss - Doesnt plan to debut any other group, so his company wont suck lol - Has all the money only for the bois - Altho he is really kind and understanding, he expects the guys to work extra hard do achive success - Sometimes goes to variety shows with his group and acting like a proud dad around them - Fans say that he is the 8th member of the group - Has his own fansites - Sometimes does modelling (has a duo photoshoot with Lucifer which he is extra proud of and some of its pieces are on his wall in a big canvas) - Fans ship him with Lucifer (not suprising) - He bought two houses next to each other. One is his and the other is the guys'. - Has a cameo in one of the mvs of the group - Does acting, has a lots of main roles - He is POPULAR

LUCIFER - Leader of the group - Also dad of the group (i mean if you dont count Diavolo) - He and the others participated in a survival program, but didnt make it - Got kicked out of their prev company - Thats when Diavolo became a fan of him and decided on founding one for him - Lucifer only agreed on joining if his teammeat could go too - Most popular in the group - Does everything Diavolo asks him to do - Makes the guys practicing till morning - Barely sleeps - Also does acting - Really bad at doing fanservice - Extremely caring towards fans - Always makes sure that the fans are doing okay, writes short messages on fancafe, uploads pictures (never about himself) on ig and twitter and reminds fans to take care of themselfs - Staying up super late to read fancafe letters from fans - Gives special attention to communicate with fans - However... He shamlessly blocks fans who upload meme pics about him or hurt his pride - HE IS SERIOUS - Thanks to this, fans never EVER mock him - Has a solo album - Won against his own group once in a music show (Levi said how it was not fair and Satan was pissed) - Never dyed his hair and never will - According to some poll, he is one of the most handsome men in kpop - He hates fanwars and when there is one, he tells the fans to stop  - He also hates rumors

MAMMON - He wanted to became a worldwide idol so he can get more money - Actually he was really bad at everything when he joined that survival program - Fans started to love him bc of his hard work (((for the money))) - Always forgets their own choreography - The whole fandom jokes about how stupid he is - He is always truly offended and scolds the fans on vlive - Fans make memes out of him and love dissing him - Fans think he is super cute and he is loveing it - LOVES fansigns but always blushes if he needs to hold hands with fans - Tries to act tough anyway - Cries in every. fkin. concert. (giving birth to new memes lol) - Once made a "joke" about how fans should donate him money instead of giving presents and it became a HUGE scandal, Lucifer and Diavolo deadass wanted to kick him out of the group - Does vlive a lot bc he loves talking about everything: how he bought a new car, new shoes, how he wanted to prank Lucifer with Satan and how they failed blah blah and so on - He is that member with zero lines, but has fair screentime - Modelling and super popular - Tried acting bc "he is too good at everything" but failed (he is not too good, but too shy lol) - The loudest member - Variety shows love him thanks to his idiotism - He says he is the "cutie sexy" member of the team - Once a fan started crying in front of him at a fansign out of happiness and Mammon was so touched he started crying as well

LEVIATHAN - His nickname is Leviachan for a reason - Fans know how much of an otaku he is so they always buy him anime related stuff and LEVI IS TRULY HAPPY ALL THE TIME - He even post about his presents at twitter and ig - Does gameplay vlives - Also has a youtube channel where he uploads every kind of videos: gameplays, gameplays, anime reviews, manga recommendations, gameplays, videos about his Ruri-chan collection, gamplays... and more gameplays - Uploaded a video where he and Mammon tried to snake into Lucifer's room to film him while he is asleep, but got caught and Lucifer started to shout at them - He needed to deletet it bc Lucifer wanted to kill him for publishing it - Fans didnt reupload out of fear from Lucifer - Shy at fansigns but compfy with old fans and fansites - Doing cosplay - At the begining he was reather shy on stage, but since he got used to it... aegyo all the way - Loves when they promote in Japan - In variety shows when the mcs ask him about his hobbies he always ends up talking too much, so to others need to stop him - According to fans, he has e-boy vibes - He is the one who posts everything thats happening with them on twitter, so the fans really ALWAYS know whats up whit the guys - Once accidentally tweeted out their hotel room numbers and fans found them (Lucifer was hella angry)

SATAN - Mom of the group, even if he hates it - Like if Lucifer is the dad, no way that he is the mom - Also prince of the group - Has good vocals but can rap too - Writes lyrics - Started acting bc he was sure he is better than Lucifer - Won an award for his main role in a detective series - Has a whole collection of books bought by fans - Gets angry easily which is the reason why fans often mock and make memes about him - Reads the messages fans send him and replies; sometimes its only a heart, sometims its advice or kind words - Came up with the groups greeting - According to the other members fansites, he is so handsome that its hard to not take pictures of him - Thanks to this, all the others fansites have at least two posts about him - Fans going insane when he starts smiling - Plays the guitar - Multilanguage king - Cant do fanservice - Literally hates fanservice - Once in Weekly Idol, him and Lucifer needed to hold hands and say nice things to each other after the others told the mcs how awkward their relationship is - That was the worst moment in his entire life - Wanna do a solo album, but didnt have the chance yet (Diavolo promisd him tho) - He has th best fashion sense after Asmo - Has a cat in the dorm and the fans love it like its their own - He has a great memory, so he remembers the names of the fans who attended their fansigns at least two times 

ASMODEUS - Main vocal of the group - Self claimed visual of the group - He posts the most, almost everyday - Loves doing make up - The most fashionable member - A big ass diva - Went to king of masked singer but didnt win it - Has a solo album - He loVES FANSERVICE, HE LIVES FOR IT - With members, with fans, it doesnt really matter - The best at fansigns, he is so direct - Hold hands with fans, gives hugs, let them touch him - On the groups YouTube channel, he has this special segment called "Asmo cam" - He shows whats happening in backstage during promotions - Designed their debut album's look - Also designed the lightstick - Complains to the stylists if he dislikes an outfit - MCing - Reads the fanfictions fans write about the group and teases the members with it - Doing shower vlives, where there is only voice, so the fans can hear him singing in the shower (he also brags about how beautiful he is and how unlucky his fans not seeing the full beauty of his body) - If a fan post about him saying dirty things, he will reply with even more dirtyer stuff - Most of his fans are hard stans

BEELZEBUB - Maybe i am headcanoning it wrong, but for me Beelzebub is a rapper - The only reason he is not part of the aegyo line bc he never does aegyo but naturally cute enough for fans to cry over his cuteness - He is so sad that fans mustnt give him food in fansigns, but Diavolo is against it out of fear of some antifan trying to poison them - Mukbang videos - Mukbang shows love and hate him at the same time - Eating everywhere and everytime - He even eats at the middle of concerts - Fans have a bunch of memes about him - According to fans, he is like a big puppy who must be protected by all costs - All cool and serious on stage, all cuddly and cutie off stage - Main dancer of the group, always helps with the choreographys - Has an own restaurant, where fans can buy his fav foods... And there is a lot of that - One of the sweetest bubs in fansigns, he is easygoing and thanks to this its not hard to talk to him - Fans dieing to see him take off his shirt, but it havent happend yet - In one of his birthday lives Mammon dropped his cake out of accident and HE WAS SUPER SAD - Most of his social media post are about food. What he ate, whats he wanna eating, what he recommends eating, notes to fans to dont forget to eat - Fans never tell him to dont forget to eat, bc they know he wouldnt - Fans ship him with Asmo and Belphie - Loves tours bc he can eat a lot of delicious food around the world

BELPHEGOR - Devil maknae - Makes fun of his hyungs, but loves them endlessly - Sleeps in backstage all the time; while his make up is done, while his hair is done, why waiting for rehearsal - Lucifer has the hardest time with him if it comes to practice - I mean, Belphie deadass can fall asleep the middle of some choreo - Didnt love doing agyeo, but fans are over the moon if he does, so he is doing it often - He doesnt have a fixed role in the group, sometimes he sings and sometimes he raps - One of the best dancers, but he is too lazy to show his full potential - He often falls asleep while doing vlives - Once in an ig live he told the fans that it doesnt bother him that they have haters, bc he hates the haters as well - He barely posts on social media; if there are pictures about him, they are mostly from the other members (especially from Beel) - He has a super big pillow he got from a fan to his birthday when he was still a trainee and this is his favourite pillow - He is the one with zero solo activity, bc if he has free time he reather sleeps than going to shoot something

Feel free to add anything that comes into your mind!

[hyungkyun]

(^:

HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.

ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.

first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?

youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~

BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting

however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///

but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.

actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.

but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)

he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!

so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://

but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj

but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???

until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:

anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.

since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj

u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm

u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.

it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.

one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’

it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.

but since both of u are dumb tsunderes,  as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.

but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.

it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/

y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese

((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))

at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)

after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.

he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.

[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!

jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.

obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…

so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.

so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!

u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:

so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.

he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn

it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.

he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.

u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.

oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY

even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk  

[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]  

at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh

catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:

that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready

u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.

he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o  and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:

study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:

he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop  whining abtstudying…

every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm

and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.

buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.

he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like,  tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️  

he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.

u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles  

from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy

if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers

expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!

he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:

oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔

there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.

he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.

if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:

u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile

he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://

on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD

But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:

ok time to get Domestic lads!!!

Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.

be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)

random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying

but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless

he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:  

can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his

anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao

I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH 

icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love

why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.

i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)

i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(

[takeachanceff]

Chapter 25: The Blame Game (Sequel: Changes )

Unknown

"We did what you asked!" One yelled.

"You bought me a child what the fuck am I gonna do with that?! I ain't some pedophile!" I yelled. The baby started to cry making me shake my head. "This plan is supposed to be quick not years idiot" He said.

"We can use the kid as leverage think about it. Trey is vulnerable with his child and soon his wife out of the picture. That little girl is our key, of course Trey is gonna come looking for her we draw him in and we got him right where we want him"he said. The baby kept crying and I shook my head letting his words sink in.

"I don't want his kid I want his wife" He said standing up.

"So what do you want me to do with the kid?" He asked.

"Do something with her and get that kid to shut up" He stated.

D.C

Seeing Aaliyah cry really bothered me. Telling her that it's gonna be okay was just a bunch of bullshit. I'm not even sure where to start with her I just held her and tried to calm her down. "Liyah please don't cry" I said rocking her back and forth.

"Why didn't I just stay... with her... this is my fault.." she said breaking down.

"Yo dont say that we're gonna find her. She's coming home" I said to her. "Imma call my boys and they doing a ground search for her. I promise you imma find her aight" I said assuring her. I let her go and handed her a bunch of tissues for her to dry her face. I took my phone out and made a phone call.

"Hello" he answered.

"Yo Red it's DC" I said.

"What's good man?" He asked.

"I need a favor, a huge favor" I said before looking back at Liyah.

"I got you dawg anything you need" he said.

"I need you to gather the boys a do a search for Triggas daughter" I stated.

"Trigga's daughter she a little young to be running away" he said.

"Nah, somebody took her out her crib from his mom in laws place. She's only two months old and some weirdo done took her I need y'all to be quick on this" I stated.

"Got you send a pic so I can see what kid I'm looking for mane" he said.

"Got you" I said before hanging up.

"Liyah can you send me a picture of her so I can send it to my guys" I asked and she nodded pulling out her phone to send it. Once I got the picture I forwarded it to Red, before I could lock it my phone rang showing it was my girl.

Damn.

"Where have you been?! I haven't heard from you in three days!" She yelled.

"Baby I'm taking care of some business Trey is in some deep shit I gotta help him" I said and she sucked her teeth.

"I'm getting real tired of you jumping for that nigga when has he ever done shit for you!" She yelled. I don't get why Raine is fussing me out she know the deal, but she don't get what Trey has done for me He the reason why a nigga ain't in jail.

"You gotta cool it with all that yelling shit I'll be home as soon as I can" I replied.

"You ain't taking care of no business nigga you fucking some other bitch!" She accuses me.

"I'm not fucking no bitch girl chill! I'm here with Treys wife trying to find they daughter-" I started before she cut me off.

"Oh so you wit her! I knew you wanted to fuck that skinny hoe! I swear Nick you ain't shit! I fucking hate you!" She yelled.

"No I'm not fucking her I'm just helping her find her kid you tripping!" I started yelling back.

"Don't even bother coming home fuck you!" She said before hanging up.

I held onto my phone tightly and Liyah was sitting at the edge of the bed looking at me.

"She thinks you're cheating?" She asked.

"Yeah but it ain't even like that. You're my best friends wife that shit is just foul" I said before sitting next to her.

"If Trey was gone this long I'd probably think the same thing..." she mumbled.

"I get it though" I said.

"Can I ask you something Nick? You don't have to answer if you don't want to" she said while her voice came out raspy.

"Yeah sure what's up?" I said.

"Do you like me?" She asked looking at me.

"Yeah I like you I think you're really cool person Liyah" I said feeling myself getting nervous.

"No like have feelings for me deeper than being a friend?" She asking shifting herself. I swallowed the lump in my throat and scratched the back of my neck.

"You know what Liyah the guys and I are about to go look for Trey. Try and get some rest" I said shifting the subject standing up.

"You do don't you?" She said making me sigh.

"Umm... Yeah I do. I think you're beautiful I've had feelings for you for like the past two years. I thought you were beautiful since the first time I met you, but I got a girl and you wit my best friend so it'll just be a crush" I admitted and she nodded.

"Thanks for being honest with me" she said with a faint smile.

"Yeah get some rest we're gonna find them both I promise" I said before I left out.

[That Next Morning ]

Trey

I felt my eyes getting heavy trying to figure out where the hell I am. I looked down at my hands seeing the cuffs on them looking around and I was in a back room. I stood up a stumbling some trying to gain my composure. I looked around to see if there was something around for me to pick the lock on these cuffs. With no luck I tried to move my hands out but that didn't work.

Fuck.

"I see you're awake" a voice said but I ignored it still looking at the cuffs on my wrists. "Oh now you can't speak?" He said as I still ignored him. He snickered coming closer to the door which is what I wanted. "Come on nigga you not gon get them cuffs off so you can stop trying" he said to me.

I looked over at him and walked over to him with a smirk not saying a word. I hit his face with a my knuckles before pulling him by the collar hitting his head against the cell before he was knocked out. His body slid down the cell before he hit the floor. I looked around to see if the keys were on him. I reached in his pocket to get the key and unlock the cuffs and cell. I quickly moved his moved body inside the cell and went to go find an exit. I don't know where I'm at or where I'm going. I headed down the long hallway until I heard voices. I looked for somewhere to hide until they passed. I then grabbed someone's jacket before putting the hoodie over my head. I looked for an exit and my made my way to it. I hurriedly walked out the door until an alarm went off catching my attention. I went against the commotion and made a quick escape. I kept my profile low looking for a sign to see where I was. I recognized the Spanish realizing I'm in South America.

I need to get to Juan.

I headed towards a-shop that served fish. "Uhh excuse me" I said catching the lady's attention.

"Anyone here speak English?" I asked and the lady just stared at me. I'll take that as no so I headed to look for more clues. I just kept walking for a few miles until I saw a sign that said Quito.

I know exactly where I am I just need to find Juan's warehouse. I looked around for familiar landmarks and I saw the church that told me I was still had some ways to go but I wasn't far. If I can get there I can get some help, and find out who sent them niggas. I just kept walking keeping my head up of what's ahead. I felt a few rain drops hit my hoodie before I tucked my hands in my pocket. I kept walking until I finally reached the back entrance of his warehouse I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

Nothing.

I heard a few voices that made me turn my head. "Yo that's him" I heard the voice say recognizing who it was.

"Trey!" DC yelled finally coming into view. He came running to me "Bout time nigga" I said.

"Good to see you too bruh nigga you smell like death and fish what the fuck man" He said making us laugh.

"Imprisonment don't exactly let you shower" I said before laughing.

We walked to the car and got in heading back to HQ. "What are you doing here I told you to stay with Liyah in Atlanta?" I asked.

"Umm bout that" he started.

"Answer the fucking question stop wit the bullshit" I demanded.

"Liyah wanted to find you she didn't wanna just leave you. She knows everything man you two need to just talk" he said making me clench my jaw.

Fuck!

"There's something else you gotta know" he started before he sighed. "Mia is missing" he said

"What?!" I roared looking at him. "YOU LOST MY DAUGHTER!" I yelled making everyone in the car have an eerie silence.

"I didnt lose her man she was in Atlanta with Liyahs parents we got the call that someone took her over night. I've had people over there doing a ground search for her. Liyah hasn't slept since she found out." He explained.

"Nigga I told you keep them away from this shit!" I yelled making him run his hand down his face. My mind is racing Mia could be anywhere by now and she's not old enough to defend herself.

"FUCK!" I yelled hitting the side of the door.

We pulled up to the hotel and we got out and I was led to a room for me to freshen up and receive fresh clothes. I did my hygiene routine and changed before heading being escorted to the room where Aaliyah was. I knocked on the door and she answered. By the looks of it I could tell she hadn't slept, neither of us knew what to say to each other so we just stared at one another for awhile. I cleared my throat breaking the daze.

"Can I come in?" I asked and she stepped aside letting me inside. She closed the door behind me and followed me into the bedroom. She didn't say anything she just sat down.

"Liyah?" I said looking at her but she ignored me. I walked over to her and kneeled down in front of her.

"Liyah-" I started before she slapped me. I groaned holding my face standing up. "Ight Ight I deserved that" I mumbled.

"...Trey I could kill you, you know that?" She said looking at me.

"I know I know" I said.

"No you don't know cause we're right back in the same position we were three years ago!" She started. "Why can't you just take the high road this one time or for fuck sake be honest with me!" She yelled.

"Just listen to me" I said stepping to her.

"Shut up, shut the fuck up! You got Nick covering for you and pulling him into this mess!"

"Aaliyah just listen damn!" I said yelling back.

"It's the same shit Trey! Now our daughter is somewhere because you couldn't just let this shit go!" She yelled.

"No Mia is gone because you should've listened to me and stayed in Atlanta you were safe there! You so fuckin hard headed! Mia would've been safe if she was with you!" I said feeling myself getting angrier. She put her guard down and this shit is happening.

"Clearly she wasn't cause whoever the fuck is after you knows who my family is!" She yelled getting close to my face.

"If you were there you could've prevented Mia getting snatched!" I yelled.

"So this is my fault!" She said before scoffing as I clenched my jaw.

"If you just would've stay ya ass in Atlanta she'd be here Liyah! So you tell me!" I yelled and she shook her head.

"It's my fault... Okay Trey, its my fault. It's my fault that these people are after us! Of course its my fuckin fault cause you don't wanna take responsibility! So you're right it is my fault... it's my fault for looking for you. It's my fault that someone broke our window. It's my fault that our daughter is missing, it's my fault Trey. Okay! happy now?!" she said before chuckling.

"You know what I should've left you alone three years ago but I wanted to believe that you were different. The amount of shit that comes with you I was able to look past it" she said.

"And you don't have shit with you?" I asked before clenching my jaw.

"I know I do but I don't lie about it" she said looking at me and I won't lie that shit hit hard.

"Two years! Two years Trey you been doing this behind my back! What happened to I'm done with this shit I got too much to lose! Trey I'm not even sure if I can trust you! What else have you been hiding from me?! Huh!" She yelled before she pushed me.

"Since you out here living two different lives is there somebody else?!" She asked made me scrunch my face up.

"Hell no Liyah there is nobody else I only love you!" I defended.

"I can't tell Trey! I feel like every time I think we're comfortable or just living life you constantly lie! How the fuck would I know that you not fuckin on something else!" She said and I put ran my hands down my face.

"Aaliyah there is nobody else I'm wrong about the drug shit but I would never cheat on you" I said pleading to her. I love her way too much to just throw what we have away. Why would she think I would cheat on her?

"Why do you keep lying to me? I'm your wife you're not supposed to hide things from me..." she said with glossy eyes.

Aaliyah is the only person I let talk to me like this. Anyone else would've got a bullet between they eyes, but she was different. It's like I feel weak every time in around her.

"Liyah it's not like that" I mumbled.

"It's not like what?! I don't... I don't even know who you are anymore. I'm not even sure who the man I married is" she said with tears ready to fall from her eyes. I stepped closer to her and she stepped back.

"Aaliyah, you do know me. You know me better than anyone else" I said.

"Our daughter is somewhere and I'm halfway across the world looking for you and I left her.... I..." She said while her voice broke as her tears became more frequent. Liyah broke down as I pulled her into my arms and I kissed her cheek.

"Im a bad mother.." she said crying her eyes out.

"Baby don't say that that's not true" I said comforting her.

"I lost our first baby Trey I can't go through this again" she cried harder. I hate seeing her cry and this shit really is my fault.

All of it... First Jasmine now Mia, all because I couldn't let this shit go...

"Liyah Id rather you hit me or something than talk about yourself like this. That wasn't your fault and Mia being missing isn't your fault either. It's mine... Me not being honest with you made us lose our first baby. Me not being honest with you the past two years caused this" I admitted. "You're a great mother Mia is blessed to have you as her mother. I fucked up big time Liyah but I can fix this" I said and she shook her head. Liyah let me go and sniffed before looking at me.

"Can you? How can I trust that you're gonna let this life go? Trey, I thought last time it went too far but this has gone waaay too far. I have stood by you through everything and what stops me from leaving is that I love you so much to the point that's it enabling" she said before sighing.

"So Im giving you a choice it's either you lose this drug shit or you lose your family" she said to me making shake my head.

Fuck.

"Liyah I dont wanna lose your or Mia. I can't get out of this easy but I'll get out of it for good I mean it this time" I said and she sniffed trying to read me. I know she was trying to figure if I was telling the truth or not.

"Do you wanna be with me? Like can you handle being married-" she said before I cut her off.

"Yes, Aaliyah I wanna be with you. I wouldn't have married you, if I didn't wanna be married to you. I want us. I want more babies with you. I wanna grow old with you" I said wiping the tear falling from her eyes.

"Okay..." She said before sniffing.

"Okay i" I said looking at her before opening my arms. She came to me as she wrapped her arms around me embracing me.

"DC started a search Imma check up on it to see if they found her. Baby imma fix this" I said about to walk away but she held me.

"Please don't go... I don't wanna lose you Trey please" She said before she sniffed.

"Baby I'll be right back. You're not gonna lose me." I said holding her close. Liyah held me like I was gonna disappeared so I gave in.

"Okay okay I'll get DC and we'll discuss her ight" I said before I kissed her forehead.

"Im sorry..." she mumbled in my chest.

"Don't apologize" I said before I carried her to the bed laying her down. "Relax and let me take care of this... I love you so much you know that? " I said to her making her relax some.

"I love you too" she said adjusting her head on my chest.

"Imma find her ill rip up every city bring her back home" I said and she nodded.

Carlos

I've tried reaching out to my daughter and she's been ignoring me. I love my daughter to pieces and I'd do anything for her. I always wanted to give her the best of the best. I've made many mistakes in life but I've wanted to make sure my children had everything they needed.

I'm gonna fix my mistake I'm meeting with Rickey to get him off my daughter. I pulled up to the meeting place and put my car in park.

[Flashback: 9 years ago]

I have the day off so I decided to do some cleaning. I entered Melina's room which she kept clean for the most part. I decided to just take her trash out so I headed to her bathroom. I pulled her trash can out from the side of the toilet, when I pulled it out I noticed a pregnancy test. I took some toilet paper to pick it up and read the results.

It was positive.

"Fuck" I mumbled.

She's been fucking that hoodlum, and now this. I heard the door open and I went to go meet Melina halfway and she jumped.

"Oh my god dad you scared me" she said.

"What is this?" I asked holding up the pregnancy test and her eyes got wide.

"Dad..." she started then I cut her off.

"YOU BEEN FUCKING HIM?" I yelled making her jump. She didn't answer me she just crossed her arms.

"Melina Nava Perez you better look at me when I'm talking to you!" I yelled.

"Yes... I'm pregnant, but I-I'm not sure of it's Jason or Ricky's..." she said trying not to cry.

"What does Rickey have to do with this?" I asked.

"Did you forget that your so called golden boy rapped me!" She yelled.

"Melina, I want you to get rid of that baby understand!" I demanded.

"What?" She said confused.

"You heard me get rid of it" I repeated before clenching my jaw.

"No.. No! Hell no dad! I'm not getting rid of my baby even if its not Jason's I'm keeping it. This is my body you can't tell me what to do with it!" She yelled back.

"As long as you living under my house you're doing what your told! I've done everything for and you wanna throw away for some little boy who doesn't care about you!" I said getting closer to her.

"How would you know! Jason loves me unlike that nigga you trying to set me up with! He knows about the baby and we're keeping it!" She said finally letting the tears run down her face.

"You wanna be grown get the fuck out my house!" I yelled.

[End of flashback]

I sighed before taking the keys out the ignition. I got out the car and entered the building. Rickey was smoking his cigar and dismissed the men around him. "Mr. Perez just the man I wanted to see" He said with a smirk.

"Rickey lets talk" I said taking a seat.

"Sure" He said sitting across from me.

"What's your deal with my daughter?" I asked frowning.

"Come on Carlos you know my deal" he said before chuckling.

"No I don't inform me" I said sitting back some.

"You dont remember our deal? It's all right I'll remind you. When you signed that contract you signed, you basically signed over a marriage between her and I so technically Melina is my wife" he said with a smirk.

"I didnt agree to that boy you really pushing it if you don't stop this now I won't hesitate to kill you" I threatened.

"Oh that's not possible, you won't be stop anything" He said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You'll see" he said.

"Ric-"

A gunshot was fired.

Teri

I lied in this hospital bed staring at my bandages. I want go the fuck home. I looked over at Rocko who had fallen asleep on the chair. He's gonna need so much therapy scratch that makes two of us. The baby is doing fine surprisingly but the doctor said if I get stressed out like that again I could lose the baby. I put my hand on my small belly bump and sighed. I looked over at Derick who was asleep he's lucky to be alive. The bullet just missed his spinal cord so he's still able to walk. I have so many issues and ignoring them doesn't help me.

"Teri..." He said.

"Hey you're awake" I said looking at him with a smile.

"Hey is our babies okay?" He asked.

"Yeah the babies are good" I started nodding. "Baby I think I think need together anger management classes" I admitted.

"Yeah?" He said.

"Yeah I think I've been pushing my issues to the side instead of dealing with them. My anger might cause us to lose this baby and I don't want that" I said looking at him.

"Baby whatever you wanna do I'll support every step of the way" he said before smiling making me smile.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm in some pain but I'm all good. How you feeling ?" He asked.

"Sleepy" I stated.

"Is lil man okay?" He asked. I looked over at Rocko as he slept.

"Yeah he's fine he's just sleeping" I said.

"Good" He said.

"We're all gonna need some serious therapy after this" I said and he laughed.

"Yeah definitely" he said.

[lydiahopemoore]

Initial research

To understand my target market and what user’s I'll be focussing on I wanted to first search around Reddit. Reddit is a popular social sharing website that collects current news, stories, pics, memes and videos through specific communities (subreddits) that the user decides on what they want to see. Every post and comment that is made, people get to upvote or downvote it so the best content rises to the top. Every user creates an obscure username to make Reddit an anonymous platform. Therefore I wanted to use Reddit to find subreddits and posts that relate to my topic to get a general understanding of how people feel. I have collected a bunch of comments from posts which I will not mention their username nor I will use this information for presentations or the final video. ^ = upvotes. This is an effective way to know how many people agree/relate to a comment.

Female gamers! How do you handle sexual harassment?

“I don't reveal my gender when I'm playing online games and I only tend to play with a group of known friends.” 101 ^

“I mostly don't let people know I'm female until I know they aren't assholes.” 38 ^

“Two ways.

mute, report then block.

I don't play with the general public. Only with people I know and with people they know.” 17 ^

“I don't play with the general public. Only with people I know and with people they know.” 29 ^

“Honestly, in my personal experience so take it with a grain of salt, its not so much a gendered thing as it is an asshole thing.” 51 ^

“I don’t play games where I interact with people I don’t know anymore. Before that I’d usually ignore it and remind myself that my existence will never be as pathetic as theirs is in that moment.” 9 ^

“My voice is super girly so I cant hide the fact that I'm a girl. I normally record the audio or mute the offender. It happens a lot on Counter Strike and Rainbow Six” 14 ^

“The female gaming population there is pretty high, and the number of idiots is relatively low. Mostly I just tell people to fuck off if there’s an issue beyond specific skill and block/report them. 7 ^

That being said, my guild leader for one game mode is a massive misogynist and I just call him out constantly.” 7 ^

 “Mostly by not playing online games anymore” 4 ^

“mute/block them , i dont need to argue with sad lonely losers” 5 ^

“Iv never come across anything like it at all. In any game I’ve played” 8 ^

Gamers of Reddit, How do you feel about women who play video games and is the gaming community in all games really that toxic against female gamers?

“Female gamer here. It can be pretty toxic, but most times it's just amusing. As long as you know how to handle yourself in various situations it's fine.” 11 ^

 “I don't care who plays games. What pisses me off is how oblivious people are to leaving an OPEN MIC on with a tv going and your family shouting in the background.” 9 ^

 “I've been gaming for years but with games like Overwatch, PUBG, and Fortnite now including public voice chat, I've become shy and somewhat intimidated by the voice chat feature because I know as soon as I use it with a team, I'll either get mocked because I sound like a 12 year old kid or because I'm a girl. Though when I have used it, my team just assumes I'm a kid.” 6 ^

 “You know what? The opinion of "gamers" on women playing games doesn't fucking matter. Not to mention the fact that you have juxtaposed "gamers" and women, suggesting women cannot be gamers. Women play games. Women are gamers. Get the hell over it.” 4 ^

 “Not toxic at all, for me. Most people don't seem to care that I'm female, and it's never really affected my gaming experience. That being said, I hear a lot from other female gamers and it seems to be an issue for some.” 4 ^

 “The community is just as toxic to females as it is to males.” 3 ^

 “I don't think the gaming community is toxic toward female players. Not as a whole. There are lots if individuals who are toxic, though.” 2 ^

Female Gamers, what do you hate the most when people find out your gender in a game?

“No a female gamer but I hate how as soon as a female speaks in-game it turns into sexist trash talk that goes way over the top or pandering, both make me cringe hard. I feel bad for squeakers too cause not all of them are toxic or even bad at the game but they get hammered so hard.” 9 ^

 “When people randomly add me because I was pretty good or got a little aggressive on coms and they find it sexy. I do really enjoy getting free stuff in certain games though.” 9 ^

GirlGamers let’s talk about sexual harassment and abuse and what we can do to help improve our community. 

“It’s really hard to go into a game and even TALK, let alone mention I am a woman. I sound like an 11 year old boy so it masks it a bit, but when I mention i am a woman, damn. The language changes completely.” 143 ^

“I think one of the worst things about the gaming community is how guys refuse to acknowledge the sexism, and when they do it’s normally in a negative context. Or when a woman brings up sexism they��re told that they should just toughen up or ignore it. It’s not that simple, and a lot of the people who say that have never had to face people doubting their every move because of something they can’t control.” 102 ^

“I think we need to make more friendly spaces for women with an emphasis on lgbt women and women of color. There needs to be all women gaming conferences, classes, and discussion groups (much like this one).” 51 ^

“I think we would need to bring awareness to the issue with a viral movement. If we picked a day to stop hiding from voice chats and post any and all harassing situations that day with some trendy viral hashtag maybe it would get media attention and further shed light on the issue.”  23 ^

Why are there more male gamers than female gamers? Is this statistic even true?

“A: Oh! This is what I studied! I can finally contribute!

Q: Why are there more male gamers than female gamers? Is this statistic even true?

A: It's actually not true! The split between men and women in gaming is almost a perfect 50/50. If you include mobile gaming (which I do, but that's an entirely different debate) then women actually make up the majority of gamers!

Q: So what things in our societies push more men and fewer women to pick up video games?

A: There are a lot of compounding factors that come into play here. For starters, when video games were first becoming a thing, it was a primarily male interest. Only a small percentage of gamers in the 70s and 80s were women. As such, it was mostly marketed towards boys and men. When more people started taking an interest in gaming, many men felt that their hobby was being encroached upon by an "other". In this case, that other was women. So on top of being marketed mostly for men, the community itself was (and still very much is) incredibly hostile towards women. That's another factor that pushed women away.

When we look at the situation today, it still seems like more men are playing than women. This isn't because that's actually the case; it's because the anti-women toxicity present in the community never faded (and in some cases it's merely festered and grown more vile). As such, women that play video games are much less likely than men to make it known that they're active gamers.

So, to answer your second question, male gamers are the main societal factor that pushed more men and fewer women to publicize their gaming habits. In this regard, the gaming community is very similar to the tabletop gaming community and the comic book community.

Q: Are the numbers significantly different in various cultures across the world, where their society may be different?

A: Surprisingly, it's a similar situation pretty much everywhere: women play games, men treat them like garbage for doing so, and then women keep quiet about their gaming habits and rarely participate in official tournaments.

Overall, it's not that women are less likely to play games, it's that the community is so toxic towards women that very few are willing to out themselves, so to speak, as women while playing.

The entire history of women in gaming (both as gamers and as developers) is an incredibly interesting topic that's worth reading up on, but it can mostly be boiled down to "holy shit, calling the gaming community a hive of misogyny is probably a huge understatement.".”121 ^

I need to vent about female gamers in the gaming community for a second.

“I am a female gamer. No. I am a gamer who happens to be a female. I play everything from Animal Crossing, to Skyrim to LIMBO to CoD. I love gaming and it relieves stress and helps me relax. Gaming is a large part of my identity and I am not ashamed of it. Studies have shown that 48-52% of gamers are women, which is HALF. So why do we get so much shit for it? Women gamers, especially in communities like League of Legends and Magic the Gathering are shit upon. The view towards female gamers is ridiculous, and I am so sick of it. Women gamers are constantly underrepresented in both the games we play and when we are we are hyper sexualized. Even as a female gamer I am often sexualized. When people see a female gamer they accuse them of being illegitimate, and only doing it for attention. Even me, a female gamer, when I see a female gamer I think that "oh she doesn't look like a gamer" or "oh she isn't a real gamer, she's doing it for attention" and this is stupid. Why do I think this when I am a female gamer? Because I have been taught my whole life that games are for men, and if I am a woman I am doing it not because I enjoy it but because I am doing it for a man.” 69 ^

“I find myself often guilty of being quick to judge other people as a "gamer." I try not to label people, but it gets so shoved down our throats all the time that it just happens. For me, I'm half afraid its because I get called out as "not a gamer" or some other such nonesense and so in my defense I start to judge other people harshly. It takes a conscious effort to change the initial thought.” 3 ^ 

“I don't know if it's because the only "social" genre I play is mmos, but the majority of other female gamers I encounter fall into two categories; shy or attention-seeking.“ 2 ^

[carbon--14]

the idea of billy being 19 when he died is painful to me but makes sense - he looks and acts like a child. where are you getting this info from, by the way? ill believe that he was 19 but because his age is never specified, ill give him a little wiggle room, so i say 19-21, just to give some room for error.

i also think that billys death only takes place 1-2 years prior to the series, as evident by the fact that his fans are still obsessive and have a huge memorial for him with the candles and everything. though there are a couple continuity errors (especially those involving principal ponzi), i still think that the fan devotion mixed with billys childish demeanor and the fact that him being dead would click a little more after a longer period of time indicates that he hasnt been dead for very long.

billy dying by electrocution is an idea that i personally am not that much of a fan of. while its definitely possible, it seems a little boring by billy joe cobra standards. if he were to choose, id like to think hed go out in a way that leaves the world stunned - something big, something flashy, maybe something a bit terrifying. while electrocution would do that, it would probably be reduced to "mistake of an idiot" within a few months, which billy would definitely not like. plus, if not a mistake, electrocution would be linked to suicide. and billy seems way too perky and upbeat to be suicidal, though i suppose its possible.

as for metal poisoning, thats one i havent heard before and is really interesting ! id say that the mouth thing as a ghost and while alive is really clever. though we know that billys color palette as a ghost is his color palette while alive, though desaturated and tinted blue (for the most part). so for the as a ghost mouth, it could just be that, and perhaps the human one is the lighting ? in the pics where his mouth is normal, he seems to be in bright, front lighting, whereas with the purple one hes facing away from the light source. but i like that one.

the peanut butter one is one i REALLY like and youre absolutely right, it would make his peanut butter obsession more meaningful and tragic. but theres something that doesnt make sense to me about it that ill explain later.

my personal favorite headcanon is that he was shot. its shocking, unpredictable, and i think the most tragic and complex out of all the billy death headcanons. plus, while this show is famous for its animation errors, i dont think adding ON bullet holes to billys tour bus is one, because its adding, not subtracting, detail. plus, it checks out with that thing that doesnt make sense to me that i mentioned.

what doesnt make sense with the other headcanons is that billy doesnt really register hes dead. he understands hes a ghost, as in he can walk through walls, disappear, and no one can see him, but he doesnt get that hes dead. he still thinks lifetime contracts still apply, he routinely does things for attention even though no one can see him, and he usually doesnt even acknowledge the fact that he is, in fact, not alive. electrocution, allergies, and metal poisoning all take time to kill someone. even though allergies and electrocution in particular would be faster, they would still probably not kill him instantly. i think that those would at least give him enough time to register that hes dying, even enough time for paramedics to arrive and attempt to save him. if he did die by being shot, depending on the place, he would be killed much quicker and may not realize hes dead as a ghost as much as he would the others. which of course, would explain how naive he seems on the matter. plus it seems a bit creepier than the rest, dont you think ?

great, i made myself sad. but i guess angst is a part of being in a fandom !

yo !!

so what do yall think happened to billy ? how old do you think he was ?? talk to me, i wanna headcanon stuff with you guys !!

[maritabaptiste2-blog]

atk scary hairy - A Review Of Hot Hairy Vagina Pics

I didnt go on my first legitimate date until I was 19 and in college, and the sum total of sexual experiences I had during this blissful undergraduate years wouldnt even require the remaining fingers of a grizzled old high school Wood Shop teacher to count, so while I wasnt completely inexprienced, Id hardly say I had a particular set of skills, acquired over a long career. Somewhere between general study at one university and applying for much higher education sexy furry pussy at another, there was a seismic shift in my ability to interact with women I find attractive and, more importantly, their overall interest in me. Im wired a bit differently than a lot of guys I meet - flat tummies and thigh gaps do fuck-all for me. As a result, I now refer to my graduate school career as the Era of Man Slut, because sweet bouncing bits, I had a lot of sex during that time. Stephanie was a bit on the thick side, meaning she had a little extra of all the things I particularly enjoy - tits, ass, thighs, and that bit of belly that drives me completely insane. So Stephanies body was on point, but what really pulled me in was her hair. If you enjoyed this article and you would like to get additional details concerning hairy cunt women kindly see the internet site. Good god, she had this huge mane of thick red curls. In my first year, I met a young woman well call Stephanie. I went from zero to erection in one single stare. This was during a time when big hair wasnt really in fashion, so at the time having her natural hair be so giant was a major and immediate turn on for how different it was. However, we were both attracted to each other, so it was inevitable that during one of our afternoon hang out sessions at her apartment that we would finally make out, which was enough for me but atk hairy login naked amateurs I didnt realize for a while was not enough for her. Im not going to bore everyone with the slow story of how we met, the multiple conversations we shared, the gradual flirting, and etc. Its not that I cant appreciate a woman who works hard on maintaining that figure, but I get so much more from a woman with a little more substance. Instead, she threw me for a loop when she said, "I need you to be aggressive. Stephanie told me early on that she didnt want a boyfriend, and that was fine with me, because as much as I enjoyed talking to her, she wasnt what I was looking for in a long term relationship either (we had some ideological differences that would have made a serious relationship fall apart eventually). I felt a bit like an idiot for not realizing shed wanted more, and tried to rectify my mistake immediately by grabbing her and holding her close to me as I began to kiss her neck, and suck her earlobe into my mouth to nibble it. " I had to pause at this because her words could mean a lot of different things and I needed to make sure we were all very clear, because I was definitely not going to be okay with anything involving hitting or choking or other simulations of physical abuse. She wanted me to use her to get off, basically. I breathily asked her what she wanted to do, assuming shed just shyly kick her pants off and pull me into her on her couch. This changed when I entered graduate school, though to be honest, I dont know what specifically changed, or how I can harnass it for amazing personal gain (because if I could do that, Id already be living in Atlantis and fucking my harem of mermaids - I like to dream big). It was perhaps Day 3 of making out and some general feeling up that she finally became frustrated and began to ask me if we were ever going to do anything else. Give your partner what she wants is a pretty solid philosophy thats served hairy cunt women me well and resulted in some pretty phenomenal sex. I pondered this for all of a nanosecond before I reached out to run my hand through her hair and pull her face into mine for an extremely hard kiss. I tightened my hand in her hair as I kissed her and pulled, which caused her to gasp into my mouth - a moment that still puts a smile on my face when I remember it - and I saw in her eyes the exact moment that she went from curiosity to full-blown lust. Fortunately for me, she sighed, shook her head and explained that she wanted me to "be selfish," to have her do what I want to do. I leaned in close to her ear and in a voice that wasnt quite a whisper but wasnt loud enough to be heard beyond that couch, I said to her, "I want you to get on your knees and show me what that slutty little mouth can do. My dirty talk game is generally on point but I recognize that it is not for everybody, and its a real crapshoot determining if your partner is going to be into it or completely offended by it. I have some personal history there that still renders me feeling a little sick if I think I might be hurting somebody. " That statement was a gamble, I realize in hindsight. At this early stage of my life I didnt quite realize that dropping a "slut bomb" even in the height of passion can have the potential to end sex really fucking quick (I learned this lesson the hard way later). Can I quickly say as an aside that I love watching a woman do the slow descent to her knees? I decided right then and there that if this is what she wanted, Id deliver something a bit rougher. She moved slowly, photos of hairy women pulling me out, but then seemed unsure of herself. " Not in a commanding way, or a laughing way, but in a voice that communicated that I had an expectation and couldnt see any reason why it would not be met. For her part, she was still a bit slow. In later hook-ups from her I came to realize that she did this on purpose to coax me to be rougher or meaner, but at the time I genuinely thought she was a bit shy and wasnt sure what do do now that I was legitimately delivering on her request. Luck was with me that day because she immediately bit her lip and stood up from the couch only to sink down to her knees between my legs. This wasnt some tender necking session at this point. As my hand was already in her hair, I once again tightened my grip, giving a very light pull close to her scalp. She held me in her hands and sort of looked back and forth from my cock to my face, as though she coudlnt really figure out what came next. I asked you to suck my cock. It was cute, but definitely not what Id asked for. That was all the evidence I needed that I was on the right track, so I decided to up the ante a bit by saying, "I didnt ask you to lick my cock, sweetie. She gasped again and I distinctly remember her legs came together, and as I held her hair she was squirming in place. " This demand, coupled with the hair pull (which I later found out was the way to get her from zero to soaking wet in a matter of seconds), caused her to drop all pretense of being coy. She crammed so much of my cock in her mouth it actually surprised me, because nobody in control of themselves or their words would have experienced that scene and uttered out, "Whoa! She dove onto my cock, for lack of a better word. I was still a bit high off of taking on a more dominant role, so I gently pulled her head forward and said, "Now suck my cock. She was very regularly gagging herself on me, to the extent where my concern began to rise and I had to fight back from saying, "Jesus, holy shit, maybe we should calm it down for a second; its not like the cock is going anywhere. Try to imagine James Bond saying that the next time a supermodel joins him in the shower, just really shocked and surprised but mostly happy to be there. " It felt like every other second I heard this glangh sound come from her mouth and throat. Rather than immediately taking me in her mouth, she began a series of slow licks up my cock punctuated by tiny kisses to the head. Im normally not into frantic, fast blowjobs full of noise and drool, but damn if this girl didnt try to convert me. I can honestly say no girl has ever blown me like that since and Im not sure Id want any of them to because it was so fast and intense that my cock reached a sort of heightened numbness that more or less gave me a zero chance of achieving orgasm. Now, its not necessarily important that I set much more of the scene, but just in the interest of full disclosure, Ill mention that she wasnt dressed for classic seduction. I could feel her spit just collecting at the base of my cock and dripping down my balls. She was wearing loose sweats and a t-shirt. " To be fair, the reaction was appropriate, because she proceeded to give me one of the sloppiest blowjobs Ive ever received. 007 emphatically crying out, "Whoa! And to be fully honest, that laid-back comfort look does more to turn me on than any sexily cut dress or lace covered night-time attire that can inevitably accumulate in a womans closet specifically for those times when she suspects shes going to get lucky. They werent the biggest, but they were more than big enough to work for me. And, when she quickly and quietly assumed her position at the end of her couch, I found a matching green thong as I pulled those loose sweatpants to the ground. Shed been prepared for the whole thing. Lazy home clothes that communicate disdain at the idea of another evening of light kissing and then solo frustration, but underneath? No, wear the old oversized t-shirt you got for free at some stupid event - the one that communicates "business hours are over. The "I might get lucky, who knows? The somewhat frumpy outerwear hid secret treasures underneath. " underwear collection. I was in love with it the moment I saw it, and Im not exaggerating this because I immediately kissed each one of those pale white cheeks and said, verbatim, "I am in love with this ass. The thong was a good choice. " I never claimed to be smooth. She was so wet that I actually saw a droplet run down her leg. Her t-shirt had come off at some point during her insane blowjob and for a good portion of her head game I was treated to this green lacy push-up bra that did an amazing job of putting her tits on display. " So I pulled her panties to the side and, with very little preamble, began to slide myself in. An amazing choice, because while she didnt have the biggest tits, she did have an enormous, fantastic ass. I had the remedy for this because, quite frankly, I felt like shed more than earned something for her as well, so with yet another tug on her hair, I pulled her off my cock and, breathing heavily, told her to bend over the arm of her couch. I was just outside of her, and then, suddenly, all the way in. Id intended to tease a little bit but this one singular action caused her to grip the couch and growl out, "Holy shit, just fuck me. Within seconds I had both hands gripping her hips so tight I swear my knuckles turned white as I began colliding with her repeatedly. From that point forward every time I fucked her was either doggy style or with her bent over some piece of furniture, because there was no way Id ever miss the sight of that ass jiggling and reverberating with each hard thrust I gave her. I licked it, and the trail it left, all the way up her leg and back to her pussy. There was no need to ease myself in. " She, on the other hand, picked up all of my slack about halfway through, turning her head to look behind her at me (thats a fucking power move, FYI, save that - face forward until you need your partner to go nuts and then do the look behind) and her face was just all angry lust as she spouted out a litany of amazing material that I cannot remember verbatim but I can paraphrase thusly: "You like that tight pussy? Yeah, you take that pussy. That pussy is yours, you take it whenever you want. The most I was able to utter out was an occasional "Fuck, that feels good," or "Love this fat ass. Her pussy clenched tightly on me several times, as Id later come to learn she orgasmed very easily, and my constant hard fucking drove her over the edge repeatedly. My capacity for dirty talk was completely out the window and all I could concentrate on at that point was just fucking her with every last fiber of my soul. She was tight, but so wet that I hit bottom without the slightest hint of resistance. This pussy was fucking made to milk that fat cock. I was not wearing a condom and even though she was on birth control, it was my first time having sex with her and for all I knew she could have been a harbinger of sexually transmitted diseases that modern science has yet to even discover. Quick PSA, sorry to interrupt the fapping - this was fucking stupid of me. On her end, she wasnt kidding about the milking part, because with each blast of cum I shot inside her, those inner walls were stroking me, tightening and releasing to try and get every last drop out. I completly collapsed on her back, kissing her neck and for a long while she just worked her inner muscles on me. She was nice enough to let me take a shower with her, but nothing particularly sexy happened and I eventually softened up again. I came hard inside her. " That whole built for comfort look just makes me want to extend business hours. Thats the power of a solid gold fuck. She did such a good job that I never went completely soft, and in no time at all I was fully hard again, but at that point shed decided she had enough and she booty bumped me backwards, sliding me out. I am massively, massively lucky that I didnt wind up with some kind of penis rot. I wasnt complaining - Id just had fantastic sex with every indication that Stephanie and I would hook up again (and we did, several times, until she found an actual relationship and wanted to keep it monogamous with him), so after I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she playfully told me to get out, I was able to walk back to my car with a spring in my step which is miraculous considering that my next stop that day was a tutoring job for a guy I nicknamed Pringles because the dude always smelled like Pringles. " She threw out so much dirty talk all at once that she drove me completely over the top. Or silver if you have some kind of gold allergy. Thanks for reading, everyone! Even Pringles couldnt keep me down that day. I hope all your fucks are also solid gold!

[shitneytears]

taking stock of where I'm at

long ass ugly ass post but I'm just thinking about a lot of things rn so I'm just gunna vomit it all out here and deal with it………. never

if you know me irl feel free to read this y'all know I'm an open book anyway idc.

I need to go to a dentist p bad now, my teeth have been fine my whole life like pretty straight and healthy jus a lil stained but thats fine whatever I'm not after hollywood white anytime soon; but atm I'm noticing they look like they're slowly moving and starting to misalign and look BAD and i want to deal with it before it gets too bad. I don't mind if i have to have braces (even tho i cant afford that l o l) but i DONT want braces on for next summer because if i have to graduate and have my grad pic taken with braces in i will fuckin end everything i cant i caNT have that. Also i want a hygienist to scrape all the shit off my entire mouth and like, polish and blast it back to neutral bcus even when i am cleaning my teeth atm they're just… they never LOOK clean which is starting to……… get me down??? not rlly but its just another thing I'm thinking about.

my DIET fuck ME. It was fine when i started it and it was a LOT of hard work for me to try some new foods but I've done it and proud of that, like iKNOW thats a huge step for me! but now the initial novelty is worn away I'm very very over it. I've learnt there are some veg i don't mind eating, but they're not \GOOD/ they're just there, and id always rather cook a recipe without them, the things that are new that aren't veg are the only things I've tried that id want to adopt into my actual normal eating habits??? like I'm enjoying sushi, sea bass, and steak too! (yeh I've never had steak before I'm fucking poor we don't buy nice meats so fuck off) couscous is very dependant on what you add to it but hey it is good sometimes! carrots are evil and sweet potato is just not the same as normal potato its nowhere near as good stop pretending sweet potato fries are good they're weird. I like yoghurt lots and should buy it more often tbh. anyway its just another thing I've got to think about and I'm TIRED of having to think about so many things

on a related note to that, it is having good results! i am loosing a lil bit of weight and can see a difference and I'm enjoying seeing my arms and legs looking a little more defined even after just 3 weeks!!!1! but my workouts are starting to have a lot less energy and I'm finding it VERY hard to find the mental and physical energy to drag myself to the gym at the moment. I mean i also do rlly miss going with michael bcus those few weeks were like the gym golden times honestly. so much fun.

i keep just sleeping, then spending like 3 hours slowly dragging myself to the gym nd doing breakfast and stuff and getting back home with my food for the day to cook off. its just. a lot. then i tend to just sit on my phone doing NOTHING until going to bed… I'm just so sleepy and low energy its shiIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT

The house maintanence is ridiculous too, we are so nearly done, i NEED them to replace that awful carpet and ill be good, its become such a huge mental block for me i cant SETTLE in my own home because its not quite done yet which is yet aNOTEHR task

dont ask me about my dissertation don't ask me about it i want to work on it but i feel like I've got no time even tho i clearly do its just something i cant face when I'm this low on energy truly

men are all evil idiot babies so jot that down

helping nathaniel in london is still fun and even tho it takes a whole day away from my own life I'm really enjoying it and its a positive in this GLOOMY time!

i am SO grateful for the energy I'm getting from rebecca in this time honestlyyyyyy laughing and getting coffee with her so often is getting me THROUGH and my convo with amy last night uhhhhhhhh i miss me graphics buddies

i wanna be back at uni making work again, really bad, and i don't want that to end! and also balancing my work with my studies is gunna be hard but i wanna get back into my roles on the board and hopefully course rep again.

i just wish i wasn't so POOOOOOORRRRRRRRR, honestly its such a real thing being in uni and going through this experience I'm very clearly not from the same place as most of these people and I'm doing the very stereotypical gay thing of having to EXCEL in EVERYTHING to prove I'm worth being here whilst some of the other richer people can just waste away their days and squander the whole degree its so frustrating they have that sense of entitlement to their space here when 100000 working class people would happily take that place and work harder with it.

having to be UR OWN male role model is exhausting but i gotta keep going, even if i need a 4 month break, gotta keep pushing as hard as possible all the time, because i gotta prove to my family that studying art wasn't a waste of money and time and i gotta be the positive male energy my brothers need so bad that i didn't have.

[viralhottopics]

Anthony Bourdain: I put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to cooks

The chef and author on encountering vichyssoise aged nine, practical jokes with his sous chef, and learning to take food less seriously

I worked in a restaurant where the house speciality was mutton chops, soeverything reeked of fat, penetrating every pore, follicle and piece of clothing, as if Id been rolling around in sheep guts. It was the first thing I smelled in the morning and the last at night. But I didnt have any friends outside the business. Its one of the reasons chefs hang with each other who else will love our smells?

As a youngster, in New Jersey, I was fed normal pedestrian American home cooking meatloaf and hamburgers although I do recall a copy of Julia Childs Mastering the Art of French Cooking high up on the refrigerator and how on special nights, when guests visited and mysterious adult stuff went on downstairs, the powerful smell of scallops with mushrooms in white wine sauce (Coquilles St Jacques) drifted upstairs.

At the age of nine, I went on the Queen Mary being served vichyssoise, a word I loved for my first trip to France, where boys were allowed watered-down wine and cigarettes on Sundays. But our parents left me and my little brother in the car outside La Pyramide (in Vienne), while they dined inside. I reacted by requesting oysters and dishes they found repulsive and becoming increasingly adventurous in my tastes. It wasnt about the food but about getting a reaction.

I only became happy in fact, intensely satisfied as a dishwasher at a restaurant in Provincetown in Cape Cod, my first job. I was a shy, goofy, awkward teenager. But in this blue collar, factory-like environment, there was no blurred line, no grey area, no philosophical question to fret over. Dishes had to go in the washer and come out taintless and doing this swiftly and competently meant I was acknowledged as a human being by colleagues I wanted to be like. The day they promoted me to dunking fries I was overjoyed.

It was watching chef Bobby screwing a bride over a barrel in the garbage area, while her wedding party dined inside, that made me want to be a chef. But it was awkward and didnt make sense. It was the first time Id seen anyone having sex and I didnt understand the brides motivation. Although I understand it very well now.

The line cook I especially respected was Beth Aretsky, aka The Grill Bitch; a very sturdy, hard, capable, profane woman at a time when there werent many women in the kitchen. When a Moroccan chef felt her ass she grabbed and spun him, then dry-humped him brutally over a cutting board. Like many early women in the business she was twice as tough as the men. Despite how she bossed us, wed go to her often crying for advice and support when having trouble with girlfriends. She wasnt having any of that either.

The crew at Marios restaurant spoke in this fantastic polyglot language incorporating Portuguese fishing dialect, Elizabethan poetry and Marine Corp profanities. And it was with Marios Dmitri such an influence on my career that I formed Moonlight Menus and created elaborate banquets for pizza magnates and drug dealers. When Dmitri designed tableaus on the sides of hams he did so with a dry, fantastic, acidic and self-punishing wit. He made fun of his propensity towards failure and disappointment, often, but he was a very creative, skilled and bright guy, who was different than anybody else Id met and very inspiring. Some of it was impressive for its time. I mean, no one else was doing pt en croute and huge galantines in aspic, elaborate chaud-froid presentations and Marie-Antoine Carme and Auguste Escoffier-era set pieces in 1975. Nobody. (Although if Daniel Boulud, whos since done these things, saw the quality I dont think he would be dazzled or impressed by our technique, to put it kindly.)

The mafia were everywhere back then. But now you have to look for them. The Racketeering & Corrupt Organisation Act which meant any member of an organisation could be prosecuted for the same crime as the leader of that organisation restricted the crime families involvement in the fish and meat markets. And were reaching the shallow end of the gene pool in a lot of these families the sons are all cokeheads and dont have the same values as their dads. The restaurant world aint what it used to be.

Steven Moore, my sous chef during the 90s, was the best one for practical jokes. If someone only put a potato in his shoe, hed remove the door from their locker and fill it high with porn mags. (Sometimes he used to arrive at work with sperm on his shoes.) I still appreciate that he had no shame whatsoever an admirable quality, of sorts. But Ive no connection with him now, since it is my belief that he sold a dick pic of me to the gossip site TMZ.

Im proud that in the last few years as a professional chef, however upset I was with staff, wed still be able to have a beer together at the end of the night, without ill-will. Id put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to line cooks, abusive to waiters, bullying to dishwashers. Its terrible and counter-productive to make people feel idiots for working hard for you. Nowadays I still have a rather withering ability to be sarcastic and displeased but Im not screaming at anyone.

I was an unhappy soul, with a huge heroin and then crack problem. I hurt, disappointed and offended many, many, many people and I regret a lot. Its a shame I have to live with.

I like to hear music while I cook, but nothing too headbangy any more. Curtis Mayfield, Marvin Gaye, pre-disco funk, Isaac Hayes and Brothers Johnson and Im happy.

If I examine my body now, nude in the mirror, theres not too much damage to be seen. The burns, flesh marks and knife scars prevalent 14 years ago, before I moved into TV, have mostly faded. The damage sustained from handling lobsters and shrimp the inflammations and skin rashes have improved with time. My hands are pretty soft. My right hand is mangled with arthritis, from holding a whisk improperly for so many years, causing calluses to push bones out of joint. But Im in much better shape than Ive probably ever been. I travel 250 days a year. Im lean, my alcohol bloat has gone and I do Brazilian jiu-jitsu every day.

As I get older my tastes become simpler. The foods that make me reliably happy, that have a real emotional appeal, are a simple bowl of regional pasta, spicy noodles sold in Vietnam, or anybodys grandmothers meatloaf.

Its a lethal error to always critically evaluate meals. Ive certainly learnt to take food less seriously and try whenever possible to experience it emotionally rather than as a professional or critic. I like nothing more than seeing my daughter Ariane eating and liking food.

When youve seen what Ive seen on a regular basis it changes your world view. Ive spent such a lot of time in the developing world, I was caught in a war in Beirut, been in Liberia, the Congo, Iraq and Libya and realised how fast things can get bad, how arbitrary good fortune and cruelty and death. I suppose Ive learnt humility. Or something.

The great Warren Zevon was asked, close to death, whether he had any important words of wisdom to pass on and he said, Enjoy every sandwich. I definitely enjoy my sandwiches, given how low I fell and how likely it was that there was going to be a different and tragic outcome. Im a pretty lucky man. I enjoy my food and presenting Parts Unknown. I have the best job in the world.

Appetites: A Cookbook by Anthony Bourdain is published by Bloomsbury (26). To order a copy for 22.10 go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99

This article was taken from Observer Food Monthly on 15th January 2017. Click here to get the Observer for half price.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2jy0P1W

from Anthony Bourdain: I put aside my psychotic rage, after many years being awful to cooks

[mmmelanie-blog1]

greetings loved ones ! i love snoop dogg deal with it ! im benzo im literal trash thanks for checking in lmao im so excited for this u have no fkn idea boo ( feel free 2 msg me or like this post if ur too lazy n i will contact u once i get back home ) i love twd and alanna masterson a lot ( ok twd is becoming a lil bad but ima still watch it tho ) so this is a huge deal for me to play her n also my first time so dont ride my dick like this if theres something wrong with her or smth pls bare w me ! under the read more u will find a bit more about my babe MELANIE MILLER and about the connections and stuff keep in mind that im still trying to figure her out and all that stuff so have fun !

mel has lived all of her life in hermosa beach, she was born and raised there and loves it and would never ever leave it here she’s shocked and upset her parents decided to move out of there which takes us to her current living status: she lived with her parents until she turned 21, she rented an apartment and has been living on her own ever since. her father was the local owner of THE BAR ( ya the bar its called THE BAR dont make a big deal outta it have u not seen gone girl? jeez ) and when they moved out of hermosa to travel around the world with all the bar’s funding they left mel in charge of it and its been a crazy ride for her bc she literally knew nothing about how to manage a bar but now she does and shes an ace !

SHES THE YOUNGER DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL, she has three brothers ( canon masterson boys bc i love them ALL esp jordan ) who eventually come visit her n she loves them with all her damn heart ! her family means the most to her and shes always happy to have them around like u have no idea how much ! she also has a little niece ( i didnt wanted mel to have a child but I CANT CUT OFF ALL THE CUTE MARLOWE PICS SO ) who means absolutely everything to her ! she loves kids bc she considers herself a child at heart mmmm

her label is the BENEVOLENT meaning she’s really caring and soft and sweet. picture jess day from new girl minus all the glitter and girly things. mel is kind of a tomboy who wouldnt mind to wear dresses on special occasions ! lmao she’s super funny but will always bring the dad jokes to the table but lbr who doesnt love a dad joke lmao shes rly weird but in that sweet nice way you know ?

she was born in a very religious family and she always did what her parents wanted to so now that she’s all on her own she’s like free and ready to be wild but she’s like am i really ready for this ? am i as wild as everyone else seem to be ? she’s very responsible she was RAISED that way and she can’t help it ofc sometimes she’s like you know what i dont care im going to do it.... will i regret it? probably but i dont care !

mel is ALL AGAINST conflict shes the one to talk her way through things and be as civil as possible unless you wanna get wild she will probably walk the heck away from u and be like “not gonna have it, my dude !” you know? she loves attention but she never shows, shes kinda insecure about her looks in general and she pulls it off in a funny way like im gonna drag myself before u do so dont bother.... she is very sensitive but its going to take you a little bit harder than “u look bad” to make her feel bad you know.... she will probably cry later when no ones around but shes not going to let you know !

shes so aesthetic she loves art, painting, music, museums, the stars, the moon and everything else ... she believes 100% in alien and supports the theory that THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE she lowkey scully and mulders child lmaooo

she got a major in psychology so listening to people and comforting them is the thing she loves the most ! she lives for the present, dont talk to her about her past or ask her about the future that kinda annoys her although shes soft hearted and all she likes being straight up with almost everyone ! if you wanna die lie to her um she aint gonna kill u u idiot but she gonna cut u right tf off without hesitation !

PISCES SUN / GEMINI MOON / ARIES RISING !

shes an emotional wreck, she literally has no luck at all with love shes a fucking mess she falls for the wrong person EVERY FREAKING TIME ( i can relate ) she covers her emotions ( when talking about love and relationships ) with indifference and humor most of the time she be like “i dont rly need someone to constantly be there for me men aint shit” but she be crying in her sleep for someone to cuddle her every night lmao thats the way she is man u gotta love her

WANTED CONNECTIONS

SO BASICALLY i love new girl a lot and i love it specially bc it gives u so many ideas for connections and stuff lmao if u want some inspo check a new girl blog and we will get a connection from it lol but yeah my most wanted connections as of right now are:

friends to lovers: they are RIDES OR DIES basically, it doesnt have to be like uh they known each other forever nah its alright if they just met like a year ago anyway they p much together all the time and one of them ( either ur muse or mel idc ) start to feel things for the other and its annoying bc they dont wanna ruin this thing at all .... plot twist ? if u like to watch ur characters suffer, like ME ! maybe this thing is a ONE SIDED THING like one has feelings and the other is like lmao yikes ! so everything slowly becomes awkward ! i dont rly know i dont mind how this actually turns out tbh as long as we have it !

bestfriends: ALMOST SIBLINGS they have known each other for literally YEARS they went to school, high school and maybe college together ! p much melanie is the mother and ur muse is the reckless teenager whos always asking for help but they love each other a lot ! think about cece/jess from new girl :)

roomies ( 0 / 3 ): they all different from one another its a miracle they all get along this well ! they are a huge fucking mess but they are there for each other all the time ! they all live in a loft or a house idk we could figure that out laters ! ( tba )

exes: well okay as explained before, mel is a huge mess when it comes to love ! this could go two ways, they ended on bad terms but try to be as civil maybe ? melanie is a caring loving bitch but when shes in a relationship her insecurities take over most of the times and thats why it messes everything up and MAYBE thats one of the reasons why they broke up ? idk man we can work something out.... OR THEY ENDED ON REALLY NICE GOOD TERMS and still care for each other and its like they are there for each other but its kinda awkward bc do we still love each other like that or are we like family now ? you know ? I DONT MIND MELANIE HAVING LIKE TWO EXES SO LMAO

sugar daddy: is she into that daddy kink ? whO KNOWS ! but lately shes been drooling over u and its kinda nice but shes afraid bc this will probably end up really bad but shes still willing to take one for the team !

big little lies ( 0 / 5 ): MY FAVORITE SHOW so im thinking a group of FIVE to SIX powerful women ( who havent killed anyone yet so chill ) who are there for each other and have wine nights and sit by the fire to talk about their days and stuff like that so yeah that would be so cute ! ( tba )

conspiracy theories buddy: they dont just talk about conspiracy theories but they do lmao also “did u heard about the haunted house up in the hills? wanna go?” they vibe Hard its 4 am n they texting about aliens the universe and sutff like that ! ( tba )

ok thats p much all i can think of ! if there any other connection u wanna have dont hesitate to let me know ! i love sharing ideas and crying over headcanons so its fine by me ! also im running late to work so if u wanna plot hmu and like this thing and ill make sure to reply to all ur msgs once i get back home !