#can we cut it out with the twink who looks like hes 20 at all times for five fucking minutes

[m0th-t33th]

do you ever think that like. the fandom doesnt like that character, they just like that character as an extension of another one.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

So Immortal/Mortal Ships

What is the cut off?

Why are some ships with an Immortal/Mortal pairing considered creepy and others aren't? Cuz there has been a surge of people calling 2-year age gaps pedophilic this year, and losing their damn minds if two characters aren't the same age. But then they have age gap ships of their own.

Many of y'all can't keep up the same energy all around. You sit here shipping InuYasha and Kagome, despite how she is 15 and he is 200+, but then attack people who ship Edward and Bella, even though both are physically 17 even if one is technically 104.

But when this is pointed out, how your ship has an even wider age gap in it, you start whining about power imbalance, as if InuYasha ISN'T overpowered and hasn't nearly killed Kagome when he's lost control. But then you'll claim Edward is more mature than InuYasha which is a laugh cuz no he damn well isn't. Eddie Boy is a teen boy through and through. He's just a teen boy from the 1920s. But THEN you'll claim it's the time period they're in and how the 1400s-1500s of Japan is a more forgiving place to have an age gap relationship because they don't have modern technology on hand.

And this will go on. I've seen enough Twitter threads defending InuKag and demonizing other age gap ships.

So where is the cut off?

Cuz I've seen people on Tumblr, arguing that Genshin's Zhongli/Childe is pedophilic because Zhongli is a 6K+ y/o god and Childe is like a 20 y/o twink. Ajax is a literal adult. He is the youngest Harbinger, but he is still an adult. He even has the 'adult man model' y'all whine about. So how can this be pedophilic? Adults in an Adult ship. But cuz Ajax was 18 only two years ago, shipping him with Zhongli makes you a pedophile? Even though he is a literal terrorist and has killed a lot of peopel as the Cryo Archon's 'weapon of war'?

So, what about the Traveler? They are canonically 500+, and heavily hinted to be part of the primordial civilization that existed long before Zhongli came into being. I saw someone on Twitter whining in some Aether/Scaramouche fanart because of age gaps and pedophilia. Traveler being 500+ and Scaramouche being at most 400. How the hell is that pedophilia? Same body type even.

There are Aether/Zhongli fanarts that get attacked for pedophilia too. Zhongli 6K+ and Aether 500+(likely 10K+ according to popular theory). These aren't small numbers. And the Traveler has the mind of an adult and IS legally allowed to drink but is just tired of arguing about it all the time. Traveler doesn't even look like a child despite the claims of people who say being 5'4" makes you a child. On the same breath, some chick demonizing Aether/Zhongli ships Aether's twin with Eula, who is in her 20s and Ei who is 2K+. Why are those age gaps okay?

And there's even more to go from!

How about the Ninth/Tenth Doctor. Old as shit. Everyone seems to ship Nine/Ten with Rose. The age gap there is astronomical despite both being adults with Rose just barely being an adult. That is one of the most popular ships to come out of Doctor Who and the second or third most popular overall.

We have so many age gap fictional couples that are present in pop culture.

Why is it that some age gap ships are totally acceptable when the gap is massive, the power is skewed entirely to one side, and the youngest person in the ship is the equivalent of a blind lemming?

And why do people feel so comfortable throwing the word pedophilia around?

[postmoderntongues]

Literally midnight on the dot this bitch who is supposed to be in South Carolina who never thought she’d see my ass in person walked into the bar and I was literally like “yo beryl what’s good bitch guess the fuck who” but this all went down like 2 years ago but like my ass don’t forget and I was like literally 2 minutes into 2025 and I get to settle a score but I couldn’t get her to hit me her dikes kept getting between us but she swung once but I was kind of just like coked up and under stimulated bc my people went to this drag bar but I wasn’t going to pay a 15 dollar cover for $8 beers and the guy I was going to fuck and possibly get a tattoo from he was mad cut kinda looked like Steven Ogg but young but found out he was the dude she cheated with and the talent in the bar wasn’t really impressive lots of 20 year old twinks even the trans guys had eyeliner at least so I was like whatever if I can’t get fucked maybe I can at least get hit but her dikes protected her as we do like I get it got no beef with them we got the same shit going on but like I was so fucked up I didn’t even want to fight her I like literally just wanted to get hit lmfao

[matchamabs]

BOTW (and AOC) GUYS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE

get ready for some heinous opinions! so im ranking the guys in botw by how hot they are and im taking No criticism. idk if i forgot anyone but i tried

check it out under the cut 

sorry but this twink is just. average. like Painfully average. hes like white bread. therefore he gets an average score. i can appreciate hes a cute lookin guy? but like. thats it. if u fancy link u probably like mayonnaise. he looks like mayonnaise. grow a fuckin tache or smth dude for the love of god. 5/10 very normal.

ok im a diehard bird simp but like... this boy is fuckin ugly lmao. hes pretty at the same time tho? nice smile, nice eyes, nice voice but yellow eyebrows? green eyes? red makeup? clown. he’s a bird clown. tho i guess some ppl find clowns hot so this one’s for the pennywise crowd. 5/10. he’s a 10/10 in my heart tho.

now this is a MAN. u got the good smile, the strong arms, the r i p p l i n g  m u s c l e s. he is a man u can trust. his arm hair is a bit wild but if u dont like his incredible facial hair, then.... idc. 7/10. they made a rock handsome. thats impressive. 3 points off for the forehead vagina tho. dont like that.

hot fucking damn. this is what we in the biz call a raging dilf. he looks like the kind of dad that never grew out of his punk rock phase. idk how i feel abt the broken traffic light look but its fine. just look into his gorgeous eyes and listen 2 his deep gravelly voice as he tells u to fuck off and leave him alone. perfection. the voice already makes him like 20/10 but the mullet is fucking awful and he should be penalised for that. 8/10. grow a fringe like the rest of us.

ah the shape of water... ok yeah the fish is fuckable ill grant u that. hes All fuckin torso tho and his eyes r constantly pointing in different directions which is not the Most Flattering Look and he Will hit u with his head handlebars and it will hurt. the 24-pack aint half bad either but i always get this feeling that he looks like he skips... some kind of day. not arm day, not leg day, but... some kind of day. maybe brain day.  8/10. sharp teeth are always sexy.

10/10. i dont fuckin care if u hate his hair- this man probably invented the most effective hairspray in existence just to make that happen. respect him. u cannot deny hes hot tho like theres just Something about him. the confidence... the attitude... i worry about revealing his eyes tho. theres a 50% chance it will not work in ur favour and he’ll just look heinous. full 10/10 tho. old robbie is also not bad 2 look at if ur not a coward but he Might leave u for an easy bake oven so like. watch out for that.

well the queen saw something in him??? i genuinely fear the idea of ever getting to see his chin from under that magnificent beard tho. he’s probably got the jawline of a russian power lifter. anyway for an old guy hes not lookin that bad so long as u dont mind a receding hairline. ill b nice. 5/10. for a king u could do worse. ill be taking complaints about this take in my dms. bring a bat. 

where do i begin. i love beedle. i rlly do but theres.... so much going on. personality is a 10/10, business skills are 10/10/ haircut is -50/10 and the crop top....? well ill give him 10/10 for confidence. 4/10 im sorry he is just a Lot to look at. he looks like rock lee tried to become a slutty pirate king. shonen jump will have a lot to answer for.

the colour scheme is... better than revali, tho i didnt realise how obnoxious it was until i actually got a good look at him. ive never seen a bird look so top heavy before but this mans got 5 kids so i have nothing but respect for my king. kass is for the dilf crowd that like the dad bods. 8/10 he is quite nice to look at ngl. he’s like revali but light mode.

ok yunobo is very cute i wont lie but the hair is just massively disarming. idk its all i can think about. is this a goron emo phase?? is that what that is?? ive been staring at it for like 5 minutes and i still cant work out if i like it or not. 5/10 he is a humble lad. 

under all that gear kohga could look like willem dafoe x50 and id still find him attractive. he cant be hot tho. he just cant be. like looks wise he has to be 1/10 under that there is no way this man could feasibly be conventionally attractive and tbh i like it that way. banana boy gets 6/10. hotter than revali. revali looks like a clown but kohga looks like the entire fucking circus

there is nothing unattractive about bolson. 10/10. sha-ding

i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair SO fucking much but the voice. he has to be hot under that gear with a voice like that. if hes not well. just close ur eyes. the voice will take care of the rest. 8/10 the crack in his mask actually makes him look sexier and i dont understand how that can happen

????????????????????????? he looks. like an old man? i swear those big wingy bits are his eyebrows but i cant Quite be sure. why would a tree need eyebrows. ??/10 keep ur questionable gifts to urself

-100000/10 who the fuck let this budget pokemon npc in here. he looks like he should b leading team ganon across the kanto region. he probably draws those lines on his face to make himself look older and listens to mother mother. im gonna punch his third eye. no this is not a biased opinion 

[whatyouandihave-makesmefree]

How to say “I love you” without actually saying it - or 137 Milkovichy ways to say “I fuckin’ love Ian Clayton Gallagher”.

1. Kiss me, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.

2. I’ll meet you there in 20.

3. You say that again, I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.

4. Take your hand off the glass.

5. You wanna chit chat more or you wanna get on me?

6. Fuckin’ tough guy, huh?

7. Jesus Christ, you want us to spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?

8. Sorry, I gotta go kill your dad, but I’m doing a lot of people a favor, including you.

9. -I missed you-  You did?  -Yeah, man.-

10. So, uh, what you going down for, then, huh?

11. Don’t know what you see in that geriatric viagroid.

12. -You fuck anyone in there yet?-  God, no.  -Wise choice.-

13. Hey, my dad took my brothers on a run out of town for a couple days, so you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can.

14. Fuck you, is what you were invited to.

15. What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? I’m gonna chase after you like some bitch?

16. -Don’t.-  Don’t what?  -Just…-

17. -You seen him?-  Why do you care?  -Don’t.-

18. You heard from Gallagher?

19. Not fucking Frank. The other one, the redhead.

20. I like fucking carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and fucking alien-looking.

21. He in trouble? What kind of trouble?

22. You wearing cologne?  -No. It’s Kenyatta’s perfume soap shit.-

23. I gotta take care of something important.

24. No, I’m not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.

25. You coming back?

26. I’ll do it.

27. Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, I’m gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.

28. Together.

29. That all you think he is? Some twink?

30. Probably best if you don’t, tough guy.

31. Of course we are.

32. You want me to go?  -No, I don’t want you to go.-

33. I’m not lying to you.

34. Ian, what you and I have makes me free, not what these assholes know.

35. Well, good. Leave. What the hell do I care, bitch? Fuck.

36. Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybody’s attention, please? I just want everybody here to know I’m fucking gay. A big old ‘mo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?

37. Fuck you! Don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy! We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.

38. You’re a fucking dick. Yeah, there. That’s what you get.

39. You love him?  -Maybe. I don’t know.-  Because he has a real penis?  -Yeah, I guess.-

40. Rise and fucking shine, Cinderella.

41. Yo, sleepy-face.

42. Hey, you okay? Feeling sick or something?

43. All right, you want me to bring you back something to eat?

44. Ian, are you high? You take something?

45. Fuck’s wrong with him?

46. Before, he was fine. He was happy. He’s staying up all hours of the night, dancing, telling fucking jokes. He kicks my ass every day. I can’t keep up with him.

47. No, no, look. He– he’s low… We cheer him up.

48. What do you mean, hos– Like a psych ward? No fucking way! No fucking way! He’s staying here.

49. I can– I can take care of him. Okay? Let me take care of him until he’s better.

50. Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible! We’re taking care of him here. You, me, us. His fucking family.

51. He’s not going to some fucking nut house. You hear me? He stays here. He’s staying with me.

52. I’ll be there.  -Better be.-

53. All right. I guess I’m going with you.

54. She’ll send him to a fucking shrink. No. We fix this ourselves.

55. I came out for you, you piece of shit.

56. What’s your type?  -Redhead.-  I am downstairs.  -Batshit crazy.-  Check.  -Packing 9 inches.-

57. I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.

58. I’m worried about you.

59. His partner. Lover? Family? You know?

60. At least he’ll be getting some kind of fucking help.

61. Relationship to the patient?  -Sister.-   -You?-  -Uh, boyfriend.-

62. Hey. Sorry I’m late.

63. We gotta get you to a fucking clinic. Get some meds. Today.

64. Hey, it’s okay. It’s all right.

65. He’s not a fucking lab rat.

66. He’s got me.

67. Hey, Ian’s sleeping in there.

68. All right, breakfast of champs. We got your mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant. Gatorade.

69. Shut the fuck up. Take the pills, bitch.

70. Hey, no caffeine on your meds.

71. Eat it. Take all those pills on an empty stomach and you’re going to have diarrhea real bad.

72. I didn’t know which Bs to get, so I just got all the fucking Bs. I got B-complex, super B-complex, B-12, B-6.

73. The hell happened to your hand?

74. Did a doctor take care of that?

75. You can’t go anywhere unless you get that looked at, man.

76. Your hand, man.

77. No, no. Look, you’re not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood fucking toxic, and it gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You can’t-

78. You look like a fucking wet rat.

79. We’re going on a date.  -Fuck, yes, we are.-

80. Where the fuck are you?

81. Where the fuck you been? 

82. You okay?

83. It means we take care of each other.

84. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

85. You look good.

86. Got a new tattoo. Did it myself. Hurt like a son of a bitch.

87. Been thinking about you. You ever think of me? Gonna wait for me?

88. Will you? Wait?

89. You like the high school bleachers? Our spot, man.

90. Look, I’m, um I’m getting some new IDs, some cash, and heading to Mexico.-  Wow.  -You should come.-

91. Thought a lot about you inside. You’re under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? Hmm? Can I do?

92. Knew you’d come. 

93. Come here.

94. I’m gonna see you again?

95. The fuck you looking at?

96. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.

97. Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!

98. You never fucking visited me.

99. What am I leaving behind? My family? Who cares I never see those shitheads again. You had my back more than they ever did.

100. You ever think about me? When I was in the joint?

101. Fuck, I missed you.

102. What the fuck is that? I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with– me.

103. Don’t do this.

104. Fuck you, Gallagher.

105. I rolled on the cartel I was working for, and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?

106. No, I just did it ‘cause it was the right thing.

107. Would you be fucking happy?  -Yes, fuck, yes!-

108. I guess I need some advice. It’s about my partner, Ian.

109. You’re not throwing your fuckin’ parole for me. We need to get you the hell outta this shit-hole.

110. You don’t belong in here, Gallagher.

111. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.

112. FaceTime your brother. See the baby.

113. You seen Ian?

114. About time, man. Your Panda Express is getting cold.

115. Eat your Szechuan beans.

116. Chill your fucking tits and eat your noodles, man.

117. Let’s get out of here, get some Pinkberry.

118. No. No. I’m not running. I need to protect him.

119. Jesus Christ. You proposing to me over fucking patty melts?

120. Fuck it. I do.

121. When you know, you know. You know?

122. No, just saying you don’t love me enough now. And that’s fine. It’s cool.

123. Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll fucking marry you.

124. You must really love cock.  -I definitely love one.-

125. You ever try to get me to move to Milwaukee, I’ll fuckin’ murder you.

126. Hey, I like the blue ones.  -Yeah?- 

127. You sure you still wanna go through with this?  -Yes. Why?-

128. You’re a sneaky bastard.

129. -Take your meds?-  Yes.  -Good.-

130. The son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy. He needs to die today.

131. Well, there’s plenty of strays wandering around the neighborhood. I’m sure we can pick one up for cheap.

132. Yeah, well, at least I don’t have to hide in a coffin till the sun goes down.

133. Damn straight, Gallagher.

134. I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish you till death do us part.

135. Good morning, Mr - Millagher?

136. You hungry?

137. You wanna go again?  -Absolutely.-

[tigerkirby215]

5e Viego, the Ruined King build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Pan Chengwei. Made for Riot Games.)

What? Did you expect me not to make this? It’s the goddamn Ruined King! He’s finally out after all these years! I mean sure he’s a goddamn twink but still; he’s finally out! Also Samira build is coming out 35 years from now.

And even though I put a Warlock TikTok meme in my last video, here’s a whole bunch of them because... yeah no shit he’s a Hexblade... Of the Ruined King.

GOALS

Ruin to all! - MIST'S EDGE: Basic attacks deal a percentage of the target's current health bonus physical damage on-hit.

Serve me in death - If you ever wanted to play as the enemy for a bit Viego will let you take a ghost or two; as a treat.

The mist is my great unending sadness - Foggy days are typical for an edgy boy, and King Ruin is so edgy he wants to cover the entire world with fog! Yeah that “mist is sadness” quote is real; I got it from the Wiki.

RACE

Viego is a human... but he has a great degree of variance. We’ll be going for yet another Variant Human because we’re not allowed any monster champions anymore. As a Variant Human you get a +1 in two different stats of your choice: increase your Charisma and Strength by 1 for the strength to be beautiful for your queen. You also get proficiency in a skill of your choice: Perception will let you see through the mist and search far-and-wide for your queen. And you get a language of your choice: Abyssal seems reasonable to speak to the mist.

Of course the main appeal of Variant Human is the feat at level 1, and to swing the Blade of the Ruined King Great Weapon Master will let you cut through a percentage of the enemy’s health! When you make a melee attack with a heavy weapon (such as a greatsword), you can choose to take a -5 penalty to your hit chance. If you do hit you’ll do an extra 10 damage with your strike! And as an added bonus when you score a critical hit (with a melee weapon) or kill a creature, you can make one melee weapon attack as a bonus action!

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - League of shirtless anime boys amIrite? Gotta look good for Isolde.

14; DEXTERITY - Repeat after me: “something something Medium Armor.”

13; STRENGTH - This is a requirement for another one of the classes we’ll be taking. Yup this isn’t just straight 20 levels in Hexblade!

12; CONSTITUTION - A ruined king with a blackened heart is still allowed to have some health.

10; WISDOM - Destroying the entire planet just to simp for your wife isn’t the wisest move.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Nor is it the smartest.

BACKGROUND

You were the king of a long-forgotten nation, so unfortunately noble wouldn’t work. But you still have servants! The Knight background grants proficiency in the History that you lived through as well as Persuasion to get Isolde back. You also get proficiency with a Gaming Set and Language of your choice, which I’d say pick your fancy.

But the main reason we’re taking Knight (and not Noble) is for Retainers! You get three knights sworn to your kingdom (Kalista, Hecarim, and the third one) who will do mundane tasks for you. While Hecarim may be up for a slaughter unfortunately your retainers can’t do anything in combat and won’t follow you into dangerous locations. And of course if you treat your subjects poorly they will leave you. But it can always be useful to have more spirits in the mist to search for her!

(Artwork by @thejenneralchen on Twitter)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - PALADIN 1

Hah! Did you think we’d be starting with Warlock? Put simply we need things from Paladin more, notably the proficiencies as well as starting equipment. Dude imagine having to spend 3200 gold to buy the sword literally named after you? But for now you might just want to grab a Longsword to start. Regardless Paladins get proficiency in two skills from the Paladin list: Athletics are required in the jungle, and Intimidation will let everyone meet know that you will stop at nothing for her! You fucking simp...

You also get Divine Sense to sense the beasts of the mist, or your queen. As an action you can know the location of any celestial, fiend, or undead within 60 feet of you that is not behind total cover. You know the creature type, but not its identity. Within the same radius, you also detect the presence of any place or object that has been consecrated or desecrated. (Have a feeling you’ll find a lot of desecrated areas.) You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier plus 1, and regain all uses at the end of a Long Rest.

And you can restore a bit of health thanks to Lay on Hands. You have a pool of healing equal to 5 times your Paladin level that comes back at the end of a Long Rest. You can heal a creature for any number of hitpoints from that pool as an action when you touch them, or cure a disease / poison affecting them with 5 hitpoints. Man that would’ve been useful a couple of thousand years ago, huhn?

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 1

Time to pick up the Sword of the Ruler of the Mist. Hm... There has to be a better way of saying that. Regardless Warlocks get to choose their subclass at level 1 and to get a comedically large sword that saps peoples’ lifeforce we’ll be opting for the one, the only Hexblade patron! As a Hex Warrior you can wield martial weapons as well as medium armor (which you already could cause Paladin), but can also choose to swing a sword with your Charisma instead of your Strength or Dexterity. Which is great because you’re not exactly the buff sort. Unfortunately you can’t use a two-handed greatsword just yet, which is why I said you’d do good to grab a longsword instead.

But if you are locked in combat Hexblade’s Curse will make sure that you can dispose of them quickly. As a bonus action you can mark a target for 1 minute. During that time you do bonus damage equal to your proficiency bonus to the cursed target, crit on a 19 or a 20, and regain hit points equal to your warlock level + your Charisma modifier when you kill them. The curse ends early if the target dies, you die, or you are incapacitated.

And of course as a Warlock you get Pact Magic. You learn two cantrips and two leveled spells: Eldritch Blast will let you manipulate the mists for a ranged attack, and Prestidigitation will help you keep clean and kingly despite all the black mist flowing out of that gaping stab wound in your chest. As for leveled spells Armor of Agathys will let you put on some Thornmail to keep your health up and hit your foes back, and I mean Shield is on the Hexblade expanded spell list anyways so we may as well use it.

LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks get Eldritch Invocations as the mist manipulates your body and soul. For now take Devil’s Sight to see through your Harrowed Path with your dumb human eyes, and we’ll be leaving the other invocation slot open for a level.

You also get another spell but all the other first level spells don’t really interest me. Yeah we’re not taking Hex you’re going to have to live with it!

LEVEL 4 - WARLOCK 3

Third level Warlocks get their Pact Boon for a particular tool of the Warlock trade, and to wield a weapon of spectral steel grab Pact of the Blade! The long and short of it is you can make yourself any melee weapon, and Hex Warrior affects any weapon you summon with this feature! This means that you can actually wield a two-handed Greatsword, but feel free to choose other options. Especially now that you can take the Improved Pact Weapon invocation to turn that Cutlass of the Twink King into a +1 weapon, and also summon yourself a gun (shortbow / longbow / light crossbow / heavy crossbow) if you so desire. But I mean, why would you when you have Eldritch Blast?

You can also add some second level spells to your list like Darkness to walk a Harrowed Path through the mist, though remember that even if you can see through the mist your allies probably can’t. And Misty Step, because something something Flash.

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 4

4th level means the first of many Ability Score Improvements. Charisma is used for everything that you do so... maybe increase that?

You also get another spell and another cantrip! For your cantrip Mage Hand is helpful to manipulate the mist to grab things from high places. As for leveled spells Blur is on the Hexblade list... but why would you take that instead of Mirror Image, which doesn’t require Concentration.

(Artwork by @WetHamster1 on Twitter)

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks get more Eldritch Invocations. To knock a foe down with Spectral Maw take Eldritch Smite, letting you channel a spell slot into a particularly deadly slash of your Viego’s Edge.

If you want an extra attack early you can also replace Improved Pact Weapon with Thirsting Blade, which is now available. But we will be getting Extra Attack from other sources later.

You can also now learn third level spells like Vampiric Touch for a bit of lifesteal. As a treat.

LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 6

6th level Hexblades can put their passive to work, and have spirits serve your Sovereign's Domination. Accursed Specter lets you use the soul of a humanoid you killed and make it serve you, using the stats of a specter with temporary hit points equal to half your Warlock level and a bonus to hit equal to your Charisma modifier. The specter remains in your service until the end of your next long rest, which is good because you can use the ability once per Long Rest. The specter rolls initiative separately from you, and obeys your commands.

And hey: you’ve already got ghosts fighting for you, so why not summon your depression to fight as well? Summon Shadowspawn from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything (requires a 300 gold gemstone containing tears and) summons a spirit of Fury, Despair, or Fear to fight alongside you. There’s a lot of specifics to this spell that I don’t want to go into (its actual description does a far better job than I ever could) but the important thing to note is that it’ll give you another loyal follower.

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 2

Time for a few levels in that other class we have. Second level Paladins can choose their Fighting Style and of course to swing a Shank of the Former Blessed Isles Great Weapon Fighting (style) will let you reroll low die to more reliably cut through the mists.

Paladins also get Spellcasting at level 2, and unlike with Warlock casting you actually get some spell slots! You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level (rounded down.) Divine Favor will let you do a bit more damage with your titular blade, and if you want more of a burst of damage then either Thunderous Smite or Wrathful Smite will do some more damage along with additional effects. To protect yourself from the mists and others who’d want to keep you from Isolde take Protection from Evil and Good. And to borrow a death realm from the other world-ending lord of Runeterra take Compelled Duel.

Of course you could ignore all that spellcasting stuff for even more Damage of the Ruined Blade! Divine Smite will let you do 2d8 damage with a first level spell slot, plus an additional 1d8 per spell slot above first, up to a maximum of 5d8 (with a 4th level slot.) Additionally if you hit an undead or fiend you’ll do an extra d8, meaning that with a 4th level spell slot you can do 6d8 damage!

The real neat thing is that this works with Smite spells as well as the Eldritch Smite invocation, allowing you to effectively use two spell slots at once to smite if you so desire.

LEVEL 9 - PALADIN 3

3rd level Paladins get to choose their Divine Oath and nothing will stop your Oath of Conquest to save your queen. You get to add the Command spell to your spell list, as well as Armor of Agathys... Uh woups. Uh we’ll address that when we go back to Warlock.

You get two Channel Divinity options: to keep others from stopping you from reaching your queen Conquering Presence will let you force a Wisdom save on units of your choice within 30 feet to frighten them! Alternatively Guided Strike is like Great Weapon Master but in reverse, giving you +10 to hit. This means that if you use Great Weapon Master as well you’d have a +5 to hit and do +10 damage! But remember that you only have one Channel Divinity per short rest.

You also get Divine Health, because simps don’t take sick days.

LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 4

4th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement, and we still use Charisma for basically everything so with this you can cap it off completely!

You can also prepare two more spells but... there isn’t much I want from first level? I mean you can take Cure Wounds for a bit of healing... as treat.

LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 5

5th level Paladins get an Extra Attack. If you took Thirsting Blade from Warlock you might want to replace that too.

You can also prepare second level Paladin spells now! As a Conquest Paladin you get Hold Person to stun with Spectral Maw, and Spiritual Weapon for more soldiers from the mist. You can also prepare Aid to strengthen your army and Branding Smite to see your foes through the mist.

(Artwork by @vmatbox on Twitter)

LEVEL 12 - WARLOCK 7

Back to Warlock to replace a lot of things. But firstly you get another Eldritch Invocation: take Trickster's Escape for an emergency QSS.

You also get 4th level spells like Shadow of Moil to become a creature of the mist, and also to get an upgrade from the Darkness spell (which you might want to replace.) Speaking of replacing spells: you got Armor of Agathys from Paladin so replace it with Hallucinatory Terrain to cover the land with mist.

LEVEL 13 - WARLOCK 8

8th level Warlocks get another Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. We’ll be taking the Eldritch Adept feat for more Eldritch Invocations. Which Eldritch Invocation? Why Undying Servitude of course, for more servants of the mist!

D&D Beyond tip: Replace Devil’s Sight and then give yourself 120 feet of Darkvision on the sheet.

You can also get another 4th level spell like Dimension Door, to travel far and wide in a flash to reach your queen.

LEVEL 14 - WARLOCK 9

Hey more Eldritch Invocations! Whispers of the Grave will let you speak to the fragments of Isolde’s soul.

LEVEL 15 - WARLOCK 10

And hey: 5th level spells finally! To strike a foe with Heartbreaker take 

Negative Energy Flood, sundering their health and making them rise to serve you if you end up killing them.

10th level Hexblades get Armor of Hexes. If the target affected by your Hexblade’s Curse hits you with an attack roll, you can use your reaction to roll a d6. On a 4 or higher, the attack instead misses you, regardless of its roll. Naturally this ability makes you particularly good in a 1v1 with whoever you target for Ruination.

You don’t get another spell but you do get a cantrip. Take Toll the Dead to deal with enemies who have high armor, for the mist comes for all.

(Artwork by @stingrae36 on Twitter)

LEVEL 16 - WARLOCK 11

11th level Warlocks get their 6th level Mystic Arcanum, which looks like a spell slot and acts like a spell slot (IE it comes back after a Long Rest, not a Short one) but can’t be used to upcast your other spells. You can only use it to cast one spell, and for an AoE Heartbreaker take good ol’ Circle of Death.

Also more spells known from your regular Warlock slots: Banishing Smite is on the Hexblade list, and can be used to send any demons back to whence they came.

LEVEL 17 - WARLOCK 12

12th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. I have no idea what else to grab so take the Tough feat for a much needed 24 hitpoint increase to a primarily melee-based character.

You also get another Eldritch Invocation so it’s finally time to get the true Blade of the Ruined King damage with Lifedrinker! This will make any foe struck by your Pact Weapon take an additional 5 necrotic damage. This means that you should be doing 2d6 + 11 damage with every swing of a (+1) Greatsword!

LEVEL 18 - WARLOCK 13

More Mystic Arcanum, this time at 7th level! Power Word Pain will let you subjugate the weak.

And more regular spells: Danse Macabre lets you get more servants forever loyal at your side!

LEVEL 19 - WARLOCK 14

14th level Hexblades are Master of Hexes. Put simply: when a creature affected by Hexblade’s Curse dies, you can apply the curse to a different creature you can see within 30 feet of you. (Though you won’t be healed for the last foe’s death.) This will let you bounce your curse around and reap all its benefits constantly, becoming a master of your own blade.

LEVEL 20 - WARLOCK 15

Our last level is the 15th level of Warlock for a handful of benefits. Firstly we can get an 8th level Mystic Arcanum: Feeblemind is the ultimate tool to truly sunder the weak and discard the chaff.

Secondly you can get your level 15 Eldritch Invocations, and to never mistake Isolde’s face Witch Sight will let you see through any illusion that may be hiding her!

You may also want to replace Improved Pact Weapon as by this point you’ve likely found something better than a regular old +1 greatsword. Visions of Distant Realms and Shroud of Shadows are both very good options.

And we can finally get our last spell: as you gather enough information on the new world Scrying will help you expand your search further beyond!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Surrender to me! - Two smites plus Great Weapon Master on an already deadly blade results in absolutely devastating spikes of damage with your sword. God forbid you crit!

The black mist flows from me like a tide - You also have plenty of tricks to give you an upper hand in longer combats. Hexblade’s Curse of course, but also Armor of Agathys, Shadow of Moil, and Spiritual Weapon.

Fight, puppet; fight for your king! - You can summon all manner of ghosts, ghouls, skeletons, zombies, and everything in between to serve in your search for your queen.

CONS

The world denied my happiness - Low ability scores mean that your skills won’t be amazing. The ones you’re proficient in are alright but you aren’t much help outside of being deadly and being royal.

Answer for your crimes, death; answer me! - We didn’t take the 6th level of Paladin which means we didn’t get Aura of Protection. As a result your saving throws are rather low, and while I tried to avoid grabbing too many Concentration spells yo do still have quite a few, which is not at all helped by your meager +1 to CON.

She remains in this world; I can feel it - All the melee tools in the world don’t mean much when you lack any proper way to get close. You have Eldritch blast sure but beyond Dimension Door (which granted is very strong) enemies can easily keep their distance from the mad king with a big blade. Even if you want to use Dimension Door you have a very limited amount of spell slots.

But the world can only hide from the Ruination for so long. The black mist comes, and with it you come to search for your queen. Nothing can stop you; nothing will stop you until you have her again. The world shall be torn to shreds and shattered beyond repair, as long as you can have your queen... Or like, just find a Wish spell or something? Shame you’re a couple thousand years old because True Resurrection doesn’t even work anymore.

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

[gingermintpepper]

Not to be off topic on the main here but as a pretty boy enthusiast and a fan of Guilty Gear; I've gotta say, I'm not entirely thrilled with the decisions made for the Strive designs.

Guilty Gear's always been kinda unique in that it's a fighting game that has a lot of variance in the body types of its characters. Well, specifically its male characters - there's a bit of variation in the female body types as well but this is undermined by the fact that the women of Guilty Gear are all well endowed with a few exceptions like Ramlethal and May but honestly, that's a discussion for another time. In any case, fighting games have historically been a genre where the male characters are either grotesquely buff or slender anime pretty boys and there's little in between.

Guilty Gear managed to pretty admirably give a lineup of men who, while they were all muscular, did not have what I lovingly call Street Fighter Syndrome in that they were all the same degree of Totally Jacked. For a few examples just look at the differences between Sol Badguy and Axl Low (I'm going to be using their Xrd/Rev designs)

Sol is top heavy; he has a very defined chest and arm region - which reflects his fighting style as a character whose main weapon is a sword that's much more bludgeoning weapon than anything sharp - and has a notably slender waist with similarly slender hips, legs etc. His 'hourglass' figure's been a part of his design from as early as I can remember but with the turn of Xrd, the artists were able to exaggerate his body type to what I like to think is what was supposed to be its natural extreme.

Contrast that with Axl Low

Who isn't actually particularly muscular but rather just possesses a very average male figure with especially defined legs. Axl isn't buff, he isn't thin, he doesn't look like he exercises religiously outside of maybe being someone who runs/does marathons - but that's okay because it's still an acceptable body type for some random breadass british dude who's having a grand old time figuring out his place in the world. Axl just looks like a guy.

All of that is to say, Strive does away with all of the nuance of these great, varied designs to just make everyone the same flavour of 'stereotypically fighting game buff' and I absolutely despise it. And here's what I mean.

Enter Ky Kiske.

Ky's as generic slender anime pretty boy as you get. Even if he's similar in build to Sol in that they're both more defined in their chests and arms than they are in their legs, Sol is obviously the broader and more muscular of the two. Ky looks, well, pretty. His arms are particularly thick, his neck isn't particularly defined, he has very delicate facial features - thin jaw, fair hair, flowing clothing that accentuates his grace and technique as a swordsman more than it serves to intimidate or display his body. And Ky has always been designed like this. This is his Xrd design, but here are a couple of his older looks as well:

Man had always been a slender figure with his belt pulled a bit too tightly and his general figure loose and unfocused on his non-existent musculature. So, please, please for the love of god tell me why Ky looks like a completely different character for Strive?

THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG HERE I COULD WRITE A BOOK - but the spark notes version:

Why is his body so much fuller?? Ky has been a twink since inception, one cannot change their body structure/type to spontaneously develop a broader waist/hip when for the past 20 years, Ky's been sporting notable disparity with these measurements.

Getting rid of the loose flowing silohuette is troubling enough considering that's just kinda the look he's had for a hot minute, but his colour scheme is so wildly off. Black and greys are Sol's colours - and as Sol's contrast character limiting that to just the coat hanging over his shoulders is clever I guess but it is in no way enough to visually discern Ky from Sol from a distance or, indeed, when they're fighting and shit starts getting crazy. Ky's always sported a white and blue motif and if y'all were gonna give him waist fillings the least you could've done was keep his colour palette consistent.

I hate the way they phoned in his cross motif. Ky is a pretty devoutly religious man and that was openly obvious in prior designs. Now his cross motif is limited to the shape of his sword's hilt/guard and two pitiful dark blue crosses above the hem of his pants which aren't even noticable because his pants are fucking dark grey--

HE'S INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM HIS FUCKING SON

And this, ultimately is the big problem I have with the new designs for Strive. Guilty Gear has always had very striking and recognisable silohuettes and designs which made liberal use of things like body type to distinguish and characterise its characters from one another. This sort of bombastic and detailled designwork stopped the characters from blending into each other and it did wonders for keep track of characters when there was a lot going on - even if they mirrored each other or were literally based off of another character from the series.

Ky Kiske and his son, Sin are visually very, very similar. Their physical differences are the only thing we have to distinguish them since they share a colour palette and the character designers for Xrd took advantage of the fact that Ky was much more on the slender side to create visual contrast between him and his son who looks like this.

Sin has a stocky build. He's heavily muscled, his design is built around showing off how jacked he is. He barely has a waist, has arms for days, you could slice cheese on his abs - and because he has short hair, in Xrd, they did a pro gamer move and had Ky grow his out.

Now, however, in Strive - how are you meant to tell the two of them apart? Not only has Ky cut his hair short again, but his body type is no longer slender but rather is the same stocky, heavy set/buff build that Sin has - something that really doesn't suit the aristocratic swordsman that Ky's always been.

By beefing up the characters, the designers for Strive have erased a vital, vital part of the character of their characters and it's a damn shame because Guilty Gear was one of the few fighting games left that had genuine variety in muscular body types and forms without fetishising or exaggerating the human form to disfiguring degrees.

[reginaldqueribundus]

what is a star wars?

Star Wars is about humans and aliens flying around space wisecracking and shooting at each other and befriending adorable robots, and exists primarily to make people argue on the internet. It takes place in a faraway galaxy where you can have a ray gun, a cool spaceship and your own mechanical slave, and maybe even mystical psychic powers (in which case you will most likely join a cult or get murdered). But the whole place gets torn apart every couple of decades in galactic wars caused by two tribes of space wizards, one of which is Good™ but slightly stupid, and the other of which is Evil and obsessed with giant death lasers. One wizard family in particular keeps fucking things up for everyone and then trying to fix it. 

Wildlife consists of cute marketable pets or enormous monsters who try to kill you, people primarily communicate via holograms, and there are robots literally everywhere and so many assassins they probably have their own section in the phone book, but no paper.

Available jobs are space wizard, bounty hunter, Nazi, royalty, smartass pilot, or foot soldier who dies in ten seconds. The whole galaxy is run by a) a bunch of bureaucrats who are all corrupt and never get anything done, or b) a dictatorship controlled by an immortal space warlock, both simultaneously with shit ton of overpowered crime syndicates that never really seem to go away. The dictatorship actually only lasts like 20 years but people spend forever trying to bring it back.

Star Wars mostly comes in three main flavours:

Original Flavour (episodes 4-6): the first three Star Wars movies from the 80s, in which Space fascists have built a giant flying ball that kills planets. A rebel princess with giant cinnamon buns for hair gets a diagram of the ball and wants to blow it up but she gets caught by a cyborg with asthma so she gives the diagram to two robots: a garbage can who just beeps and a gay one who translates everything the trash can says. They get mugged by tiny people in hoods and sold to a twink who lives on a farm in the desert. He takes the robots to see a crazy old hobo who gives him a laser sword and tells him to learn space magic. The twink is reluctant but gives in after the fascists turn his aunt and uncle into skeletons. They hire a getaway driver and his friend Bigfoot to take them to the princess’s planet but it got blown up so they rescue her from the Planet Killing Ball and blow it up. The hobo turns into a ghost so the twink learns magic from a weird little goblin who lives in a swamp. Then he finds out the cyborg is his dad but evil while his friends hang out in a flying city with the only black man in the galaxy. Jetpack Man shoves their getaway driver into a slab of concrete because he owes a ton of money to a mafia boss who is a giant slug but they rescue him and blow up the slug’s yacht. A gross old man tries to get the twink to be evil but he just wants to bond with his dad while his friends fuck around in the woods with some teddy bears. The space death ball comes back but they blow it up again and the princess fucks their getaway driver because the twink was her brother all along.

Greenscreen Flavour (eps 1-3): the prequels from 20 years ago. we meet the evil cyborg before he was evil or a cyborg and just an annoying little kid in a bowl cut who likes to drive in DEATH RACES. He meets a teenage queen with an even more ridiculous haircut and saves her planet from an army of robots. The Good space wizards kidnap him and turn him into a warrior monk because they think he is the Chosen One but then he grows up and gets hot and starts boning the queen who is now a space politician. Then more robots come and an army of clones comes out of nowhere to fight the robots and there are Politics and Christopher Lee. Jetpack Man’s dad shows up and immediately dies. The hobo is younger and hotter and looks like Jesus and says “hello there” and he tries to make the boy be a Good wizard but he fucks it all up and they fight in a volcano after the creepy old man turns the boy evil by telling him fairy tales at the opera. After murdering all the wizards except the goblin and the hobo the old man sticks the boy in an iron lung suit and tricks everybody into doing fascism so he can wear big comfy robes all the time.

Disney Flavour (eps 7-9): the sequel trilogy that just finished. 30 years after the originals the princess has a dumbass incel son who works for these neo-nazis led by a corpse in a gold bathrobe and a ginger who screams all the time and they built a planet that kills other planets. The princess tries to fight them but the getaway driver is dicking around in space with bigfoot and the twink fucked up so bad he ran off to milk dinosaur tiddies in the middle of nowhere. One bad guy foot soldier switches sides because he’s gay for the princess’s best pilot and they run away together and meet a random scavenger girl and help her look for the original characters so they can blow up the killer planet. The incel kills his dad so the girl cuts his face off but later they start magic-Skyping somehow and maybe want to bone?? The good guys spend a whole movie getting chased around by the bad guys while the ex-soldier and a janitor trash a casino and the scavenger tries to get the twink to please teach her some space magic but he just mopes around until she gets bored and runs off to see the incel but he sucks too so she gets the princess to teach her instead. The goblin’s ghost shows up, tells the twink he’s a failure and sets his treehouse on fire, so the twink kills himself by astral projecting across the galaxy to fuck with his nephew. The princess gets tired of her son’s bullshit and also kills herself by bothering him from across the galaxy so he’ll get stabbed and hopefully die, but the scavenger girl wants to turn him good so they can have sex. Then it turns out the old man was behind it all and the girl is his granddaughter so they hunt him down and kill him again.

And then the other flavours:

Buffet Flavour (Legends): after the original movies came out there were a shit ton of books and comics that continued the story. The princess has more kids who aren’t all dumbasses and she tries really hard to make democracy stick while learning space magic. A Smug Blue Douchebag tries to bring back the dictatorship while mansplaining everyone’s culture to them, and the twink finally gets a girlfriend and tries to start his own space wizard school but fucks it up by building it on a haunted graveyard so an evil ghost messes with his students until one of them steals a ship that blows up suns. The fascists are still kind of hanging around harassing everyone and people keep trying to build giant death lasers. Later a shit ton of space orcs who are immune to magic show up and try to kill everyone with organic technology. Then Mickey Mouse came along and dunked the whole thing in the trash, but luckily you can still read it!

Extra Flavour Packets: these fall into two categories: the “Star Wars Story” prequels from a few years ago, and the animated shows (released through the late 2000s and 2010s) that take place between the movies.

The extra prequels: Solo is all about how the getaway driver became a getaway driver and became friends with Sasquatch and stole his crappy ship from a poker player who fucks robots. They steal a bunch of space gasoline to defeat a rival biker gang. Rogue One is about a scrappy girl whose dad built the giant space laser ball and wants her to destroy it, so she teams up with a sexy terrorist, a space trucker, a blind guy and his husband, and a robot cop who got hacked into being good so they can steal the blueprints to the laser ball so someone else can blow it up in a different movie. They all definitely live happily ever after!!

The animated shows: In Star Wars: The Clone Wars, during the big robots-vs.-clones war the Chosen One gets his own child soldier to keep as a pet and they hang out with Young Hobo Jesus and the goblin and Bald Black Wizard Guy. They have many adventures getting to know their clones, somehow never figuring out the old man is behind it all, and fighting Christopher Lee and his pet goth chick and a bionic weed whacker whose name literally means “bad”. Then 20 years later (Star Wars Rebels) a kid with blue hair meets a student space wizard who survived the big wizard purge and they get together with a green lady pilot, a punk warrior graffiti artist, a different Bigfoot and a robot who is an asshole, and fly around the galaxy trying to convince people to fight oppression, the Smug Blue Douchebag and a lady with a shitty haircut. Throughout it all, the Satanic-looking ninja wizard guy who got chopped in half in the prequels comes back somehow and keeps bothering everyone, plus there is a goofy space pirate who wants to be everyone’s friend and maybe steal their wallets. (There’s another show called Star Wars Resistance but I haven’t seen that one. It’s about… pilots?)

Dusty Flavour (The Mandalorian): the only live-action show! This one is still going. Five years after the original movies a grouchy mercenary from the Jetpack Tribe who never takes his kickass helmet off bcuz religion gets hired by Werner Herzog to kidnap a baby goblin wizard because the leftover fascists want it for some reason. Helmet man decides he is going to take the baby home instead and he makes friends with a pig man and a lady with giant biceps and a huge gun. Every single bounty hunter in the entire galaxy tries to kill him but he is so cool he keeps going.

As with Star Trek, there are many, many, so many people who will tell you which flavours are Bad. Try each one for yourself, and you can find out which one you like! Just…just don’t watch the holiday special.

————————————————————————

see more “Sam Explains Pop Culture” here

[professional-benaddict]

Starker ficlet - BSDM auction AU

For the moodboard and drabble here

Dom Tony, sub 18+ Peter, Dom Stephen, BDSM, Dom/sub dynamics, humiliation, crying bc it’s not a fic of mine unless Peter’s crying, 1.5k

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“Oh, back so soon, Stark. What happened to Keener?” Stephen purrs smoothly when he sees Tony walking into the backstage. Let’s just say that not everyone makes it past the bouncers to get backstage, unless Stephen has put you on the sacred list. 

“Dumped him. He could hardly take a beating.” Tony responds simply. “I heard you got a dozen new subs to show off tonight.” The Dom says, cutting right to the point of why he is at Stephen’s secret underground club. Stephen is hosting another auction and Tony is aching to get his hands on a new sub since Harley hardly lasted a month. 

“Two dozen actually, and a good amount of twinks this time too.” The other Dom says, knowing that his friend has a peculiar taste, and is not interested in female subs. 

“This better be good Strange.” Tony grumbles as he moves to walk past Stephen and to the audience to sit down. “And get me a scotch, will you?” 

Stephen scoffs in return, taking the clipboard that his assistant is showing him. 

“I’m not your sub, Stark, but I will provide you with one.” The other Dom chuckles before heading off when it is announced from somewhere above that the auction is starting in ten minutes. 

After getting his scotch, Tony goes and finds himself a free booth and enjoys his drink as he waits for the auction to start. But, even when the auction starts, Tony pays more attention to his phone and his drink since Stephen always does the girls first. Half an hour later, Stephen finally brings the first boy on stage and Tony starts paying attention, but after the fourth boy, Tony starts to lose hope of finding himself a new toy tonight. 

When Stephen announces that this is the second to last boy, Tony finishes his drink in one big gulp before getting up, ready to leave the auction empty-handed, but then his eye catches something glorious on stage. It is the boy, number 42, standing there in all his naked glory with nothing but a simple, black leather collar around his neck and his delicate hand in Stephen’s much larger and stronger one. Before even considering for a brief second, Tony shouts out his offer, which is so high already that only one other person in the dark room challenges it, but it is all pocket money for Tony and he raises once more. And so, the sub is Tony’s and Stephen says he can collect his belonging backstage once they have gone through all the subs. Half an hour later, Peter’s delicate hand is in Tony’s.

“All yours, Stark. Enjoy.” Stephen grins widely and waltzes away now that all the money has been transferred by his customers to his account. The sub looks as Stephen walks away longingly before turning to Tony, but he does not raise his head to meet the older man’s eyes. 

“What’s your name, boy?” Tony asks, almost already bored, but he has to give the sub a chance since he paid so much to get him. The boy flinches visibly before speaking, but that might just be from the cold since he is just dressed in a black silk robe that was provided by Stephen’s staff. 

“Peter, Sir. Peter Parker.” Peter squeaks out. 

“I’m Tony Stark, but you will refer to me as Mr Stark at all times. Understood?”

“Understood, Mr Stark.”

“Good, now let’s see if you’re trained at all. Undress and present.”

“R-right here?” Peter asks unsurely. 

“Yes, right here! Who’s in charge, huh?” Tony snaps with a raised voice and Peter snaps into action. “Christ, who trained you?” 

“Mr Beck, Mr Stark.” Peter replies quickly after folding his silk robe as neatly as he can before placing it next to his feet. The sub then spreads his legs to be at shoulder-length, straightens his back, lifts his head and raises his arms to intertwine his fingers behind his head. 

After being a Dom for most of his life, Tony can recognise a good presentation posture from a mile away, and this boy is a horrendous sub, but also a stunning sub. The boy jumps visibly when the older man begins touching him and corrects his posture. His collar feels tight around his neck when he feels his new Dom’s keen eyes on him, examining every bit of his naked body. A group of people walk past right when Tony is groping at Peter’s exposed cock and balls, but the boy can hardly say anything to protest the suffocating embarrassment but to keep his gaze down and mouth shut. 

“I’ve heard that Beck’s subs are the worst ‘round here.” Tony muses and straightens up after inspecting his new belonging. Peter gulps a little, but does not reply as he was not directly addressed in the form of a question. “But, you’re such a pretty thing, that I guess I’ll give you a chance.” 

Peter sighs in relief and for a brief second, he lets his posture down, but he straightens up as soon as he realises his mistake, glancing up nervously at his new Dom before dropping his gaze. Tony smirks, thinking that perhaps the sub is not so hopeless after all. The Dom snaps his fingers. 

“Get dressed. We are going home.” 

A week later, Peter is less of a horrendous sub, but still far from the standard that Tony is used to. Half of the time, the Dom wonders how on Earth Peter even made it to Stephen Strange and put up for auction when he is clearly barely trained. He also thinks about how bad of a deal it was to pay so much money for a badly trained sub, but the other half of the time, Tony marvels at the sheer beauty of the boy that is now occupying his guest room, right next to his own master bedroom. 

Despite his bad posture, lack of manners and half-assed training, the boy reminds Tony of a fairy. He is light as a feather on his feet and mostly walks on his toes, but when he does walk with his heels on the floor too, it is soft and delicate. The Dom wonders if the sub is afraid of angering him, and that is why he is tip-toeing around, so he assures him that he can roam around freely, except for the playroom, his bedroom and the office. Peter must get permission to enter those rooms. 

To balance out his light and delicate form, Peter’s eyes are dark and carry a lot of history for such a young man. Tony hopes that he can get the privileges of knowing the sub’s backstory one day, as there is a hint of sadness is those dark brown eyes that catches his curiosity. But, for now the Dom has to focus on training his sub. 

“No, hands flat on your thighs.” Tony corrects for the third time after commanding a naked Peter to kneel by his feet. The Dom kicks the boy’s hand lightly with his Oxford shoes, which matches his three-piece suit. 

“Sorry, Mr Stark.” Peter says a little thickly as being corrected for all his failures since waking up is taking its toll on his self-esteem. He swallows down a sob, but he is a fraction too late and catches Tony’s attention. 

“What’s the matter?” Tony asks and remains standing in front of Peter. 

“I-“

“Speak up!”

“I’m humiliated!” Peter yelps out and sobs again, but does not lift his hands from his thighs to wipe at his eyes. 

“Well, you have to put those feelings aside, because this is not humiliating in the slightest. If only you knew, boy.” Tony scoffs and goes to get himself a drink from the stand in the corner of the living room, leaving Peter on the carpet. He could have made the sub kneel on the wooden floor, but he decided to be kind and chose the carpet instead. “Posture!” 

Peter flinches and puts his hand back on his thigh, biting back another sob. 

“One more mistake and I’m spanking you, do you understand? But, I highly doubt you want that since you cannot even take verbal correction. So, I highly suggest you start behaving like a proper sub and not like a crybaby, or I’m spanking you till you cannot walk and then returning you to that shit Beck who apparently ‘trained’ you.” 

Peter’s expression hardens, but he does not say anything. After swallowing his sobs down and sniffling the last tears away, Peter corrects his posture without Tony prompting him to do so. The Dom hums quietly and goes to sit on the leather sofa, watching the sub closely while sipping on his drink. 20 minutes pass, then 40 and then an hour has passed, and Peter has kept his posture perfect without making so much as a peep. With a pleased smile, Tony rises from his seat and offers his hand to the boy who looks up at him with a bewildered expression. 

“Come on, training is over for today. Let’s get you a hot meal and then to bed.” Tony says, his voice much softer than before and Peter almost wants to cry again, but he doesn’t. 

“Thank you, Mr Stark.” Peter replies politely and holds onto his Dom’s hand tightly as he leads the way to the kitchen. Smiling softly, Tony nods back. Perhaps the boy is not so horrendous after all. 

[kanyniablue]

headcanons for hws russia

long post, kinda depressing, bring snacks

-miss me with chubby-cute uwu woobie!twink!russia, dude’s built like an old-timey strongman.  just a solid wall of muscle & fat that looks like he could win a fistfight with a tank.  you look at him and go “that is a man who i would know is in the room instinctively”

-but you don’t.  he’s so frickin quiet & light on his feet.  you never know he’s there until he startles you or you get that tingling creeping feeling of something watching you and he’s RIGHT behind you

-he knows this.  he likes this.

-the way he talks either irritates people or makes them want to laugh; he’s so huge and gives off such an intimidating vibe but he talks like a mumbly old grandma, barely loud enough to hear and everything is -yusha and -yushenka and so saccharine sweet it makes you gag

-he’s mocking you with it

-despite the cutesy-ness he’s super blunt and will tell you to your face what he thinks about you, and not in flattering terms, but still dressed up in what should be terms of affection.  it’s kind of upsetting

-about the only time he talks honestly is when he’s too drunk to keep up the facade which isn’t easy to get to, he’s got to be a special sort of depressed and also have enough vodka, which also isn’t easy to get.  he’s still mumbly but it’s much more “god i hate this i hate you i hate myself fuck”

-that sappy little smile he does is only for the westerners during their meetings

-he’s mocking them with it

-the people at home know his face better with just absolutely no emotion, like he’s already decided you’re not worth his time.  the sweetie babushka voice with the cold dead eyes is not an endearing look

-the only thing he really fears, and the only people he ever shows respect for, are the people who have power over him.  he wasn’t like that as a child but after long enough, everything had been beaten out of him except “don’t fuck up when the boss gives you orders.”  he hates anyone having power over him & does everything to make sure there’s only a few people who do, but he also sees it as the natural order of the world--predators eat prey, big countries rule smaller countries, strong people rule weak people, bosses rule Nations.  he overthrew his czar and was communist and they were all supposed to be equal and it still turned out like that, so it must be true.

-he was never the kind to just roll over and accept someone else as leader if they couldn’t prove themselves, he was always pretty self-sufficient and able to survive in a harsh environment.  but as a child he was a lot more friendly and open--even if he also had such poor social skills that it usually came across as creepy.  nowadays he’s so dissociated from that part of himself he couldn’t tell you if he really felt lonely or any sort of sympathy at all.

-he is actually super lonely, it’s just not in a way he can think about.  he’s got this drive to be around people, wants to keep them near him, but doesn’t connect it to the idea he wants companionship (not a euphemism).  and because he doesn’t feel positive emotions or respect for others and thinks in terms of strong-controlling-weak, he instead tries to force people to stay with him and punish them for disobeying him.  he likes to live in close proximity to his neighboring Nations or to visit often, whether he’s welcome or not.

-he doesn’t generally get along well with humans.  with his bosses, he defers to them and then tries mostly to stay out of their way.  with his citizens nowadays he might share a drink or a cigarette but he doesn’t stick around or try to get to know them personally; he claims it’s because he doesn’t care about short-lived little humans but it’s at least partially because he can’t relate to human lives and wants and fears and dreams and he finds it easier to avoid them than to think about it.  with most other countries’ citizens he feels like they have nothing in common so he doesn’t bother.  he’s usually spending time with former eastern block Nations and has a bad habit of falling back into the same patterns of behavior he had back then.

-when he does get attached to someone, human (mostly in the past) or Nation, it’s an overattachment. he can’t leave them alone because they’re all he thinks about and the focus of all the emotions that well up when he’s finally found a ~friend~ and he’ll usually end up scaring them away with how intense and obsessive he is, which to him just proves that he shouldn’t get attached in the first place.

-he’s vaguely aware that he’s doing it “wrong” but doesn’t know how to fix it.  with humans he eventually just decided it’s not worth trying to have a good relationship, they just die in a few years anyway.  with Nations he generally feels like ‘if you think i’m the bad guy, fine then, i’m the bad guy’ and either becomes overbearing and manipulative to keep them with him or throws them out before they can reject him.

-he’s got a way of thinking that isn’t stupid but is so straightforward it misses a lot.  if you can build him a jet engine in 5 hours, then if he makes you work 100 hours straight, you should’ve built him 20 perfect jet engines.  on the one hand, it cuts through a lot of bullshit (”we need to stop this tank.”  “but we have no antitank guns!”  “then we will hit it with what we do have.”)  on the other hand he’s not good at understanding nuance or fixing something that’s not exactly broken but could be a lot better.

-he’s not all big-picture, though--actually he can get lost in details.  it’s a control thing, partially.  if he knows exactly what he’s got and what you’ve got and where you are and what you’re doing and saying and thinking, he won’t be surprised by what comes next (or, so he hopes. somehow things always get worse).

-partially, though, and not a small part, it’s what’s left of the person he was originally, that he would’ve been with a different history.  he used to love studying snowflakes and constellations, painting the delicate designs you see on matryoshkas and folk art like lace or flowers or geometric patterns, even computer coding--especially when it took hours & a whole room of processors to run something simple, he loved creating the most complex and exact programs just as a way to test his skills (aka for fun, but don’t call it that in soviet russia).  all the stuff that to an untrained eye either looks like a mess or is so fiddly you wouldn’t know where to start.  he loves when a thousand tiny pieces all come together into a perfect unified whole.  it got trained into him over the centuries that anything enjoyable is a waste of time though, so he rarely bothers anymore unless he’s got another reason for it.

-he’s blunt and bad at nuance but he does have a sense of humor.  it’s just not usually a nice one.  he likes tricking people, making them mad while he stands there calmly--especially if it makes them do something stupid, saying things that go back and forth between being threatening and “why are you so scared? i just meant (something innocent)” especially with really dark jokes that don’t sound like jokes so much as what he plans to do to his enemies, basically anything that puts him in control of the situation.

-if the joke backfires on him you can bet the people around him get out of his way real quick; he’s not someone you can safely laugh at whether he deserves it or not

-sometimes he laughs at really stupid so-unfunny-it’s-funny jokes, nerd humor, cat memes and bad puns but he’ll never admit it

-he’s good at getting by on almost nothing, to the point where he almost enjoys it.  his car isn’t one car, it’s a frankenstein’s monster of half a dozen different cars’ parts patched together into a moving vehicle.  he can survive on sunflower seeds, vodka, cigarettes and spite, and the first three of those are really only creature comforts.  he once stayed awake for a solid month to keep working and he says that like it’s something to brag about.  it’s control, again--if you can’t make his life any worse by taking away what he’s got, you don’t control him.  he’s got nothing and his life can’t get any worse.  he wins.

-basically he needs therapy but he’ll never get therapy

[juuriya]

Teenage Heartbreak Queen

Pairing/s: Gerard Way x Reader

Warning/s: Language, an alcohol mention, angst, and I think that's about it.

Summary: A letter addressed to you. Being best friends all the way back from high school with Gerard, he confesses something- something he regrets not telling you sooner.

A/N: I love bad boy Gerard. In this one, he's looking back on his old teenager memories. Also, I'm pretty proud of this! Hope y'all like it. x

_____________

Remember senior prom? You looked gorgeous in that dress. I asked you out; you said yes. I was super stoked.

I kept fixing my hair, my suit, my corsage, my tie- I was being such a perfectionist, and you know me. The almost exact opposite of some perfectionist. Not even close.

And you? You were so heinously perfect. You laughed and danced the night away, with me. God, I was so happy.

I think I should tell you what I felt when you walked down the stairs. I remember it like it was yesterday. Hell, I sound like an old man.

When I knocked on your door, a wave of nerves started to hit me. I was super duper stoked, trust me- but I was nervous for some stupid reason.

Josh answered the door for me. Remember back then, when he was still your butler? He liked to dye his hair neon colors (at first I thought he was a twink, don't tell him that) and wear, like, casual clothes instead of those tuxedos that butlers wear in the movies. I thought he was so cool. But he was still a twink to me, so not really. Not that I have anything else against twinks, Ryan is probably one.

He was also wearing matching striped pajamas, the blue kind. His hair was red- or was it highlighter yellow- at the time. It weirdly contrasted from his pajamas that were a pretty pastel blue.

He then tells me, "You're here for Y/n? Why- you're early. Come in, have a seat." Or something along the lines of that. I take a seat and wipe my hands on my jeans. See- I was that nervous. I got sweat on my palms.

That sounds like a cool name for a song. Sweat on my palms, sweat on my palms. Oh how I'm so so not-so calm.

"She'll take some time." He chuckled, probably finding it weird that I was so quiet. I was probably brainstorming for that song. I'm so cool.

Kidding, kidding.

"Josh- come see which shoes look better on me, the blue or purple ones?" You called from somewhere upstairs. For some reason you sounded like you were whining. I was so startled and relieved to hear your voice- like all my anxieties melted away.

Josh then excuses himself and starts jogging up your stairs. He calls out an "In a minute, my girl!" And almost trips on your marble staircase and make an absolute fool out of himself, but he doesn't. I wanted him to, though.

I absolutely hated him calling you "my girl". I don't know why, but I did.

When Josh finally reaches the top of the stairs, he disappears down the hallway, and I was left alone for about 20 minutes. It's quiet- save for three or so voices bickering about "It doesn't matter how her hair is styled- she's pretty damn gorgeous anyway," and "Let me try the lipstick on you first, Josh-".

And then Brendon appears in the hallway in his little suit and tie. He's another one of your butlers, and I used to think he was a twink as well. But that was for a short time, since he's pretty masculine and you considered him hot. He is pretty hot, if I do say so myself.

He smiles at me, wiping sweat from his abnormally large forehead. I then noticed that he has swatches of eye shadow on his wrist.

"She'll be down in a while." He pants, and I see that he has leftover make-up powder on his suit jacket. He rushed down the stairs- much more graceful than Josh- and into the kitchen he went. He pops out later with a pitcher of water and a glass on a tray. Fancy.

He pours me a glass and hands it to me. It was room-temperature cold. Just how I liked it, and Brendon knows because I used to always be at your mansion. I would even sneak into your garden just to write songs. Brendon would sometimes stay and chat, unlike Josh, who would stay by your side. I don't know if you knew that I trespass in your house though. I'm sorry, I didn't ever give a damn, Sugar.

"She's quite worth the wait." Brendon half-apologizes and half-exclaims, and I could see that it was exciting him. He must've done a lot to look this sweaty and covered in glittery make-up.

"Oh my god, Brendon, you can't just leave the godforsaken room," Dallon shouts, and it's weird because he's just your really quiet tall chauffer that occasionally makes really snarky remarks to Brendon or you. He runs out of the hallway, opening his mouth to say something but stopping short upon seeing me. He's holding a pair of glittery blue pumps.

"Hello, Mr. Way." He smiles that charming and abnormally pretty un-driver-like smile of his at me, and shoots Brendon a cold, icy glare. Ooh, drama.

"Brendon. She needs her 'photographer'. You know that." He rolls his eyes playfully at the little quotation marks and he does them in the air, awkwardly holding the pumps, and disappears back into the hallway. Brendon scampered after him. I'm left alone again, and the silence is annoying, so I automatically went to your garden. Since the air is like, crisper.

I breathed in the crisp air. I love the smell of garden air. Maybe not as much as breathing, and you know why.

I took a cigarette from my suit jacket and lit it up. It's pretty handy that I have a pack and a lighter in there- as well as a pocket knife. Don't ask. I took a drag from it and let the smoke free into the air from my mouth.

The light from your bedroom window shone and made shadows on the grass- cliché, I know, but at that point I had already figured out that sometimes life is like a crappy rom-com movie. The shadows moved and bickered. The arguments made listening entertaining. So I sat, like the weirdo kid I was on the edge of your fountain, eavesdropping and whatnot.

I know, eavesdropping is wrong, but I'm a bad bitch- you can't kill me.

"You absolute twink, Y/n wants rosettes in her hair!" Brendon argues.

"No, it's weirdly too aesthetic and she's not gonna like that, fivehead." Josh bit.

A little pile of small rosettes flew through the window. I didn't know rosettes could fly.

"Josh- what the actual living hell?" Brendon screeched, and I supressed the urge to laugh. I picked up a small rosette, as they landed in front of me. They were white. Nice.

"Language!" Dallon scolded. Language my ass. They were full-on bickering for about 5 minutes with phrases like "milk man" or "unexistent ghost twink" were thrown around until Tyler stepped in.

(I didn't even know he was there. He's as quiet as a mouse. I think he was your gardener's son. Did you have a thing for gardener boys? Haha, I have a thing for garden air. So weird.)

"Would you both stop yelling? I'm going to do a half updo. No one can stop me."

"I'd like that, Ty." Your voice honestly cuts through like a gentle flower thorn in the silence and I absolutely loved it.

Oh, and you're probably wondering how I remember all of these events. I know things. Remember?

I even know what time it is right now as I'm writing this. Without a watch, of course. 8:06 pm. Cool, right?

Anyway, silence and shushes were heard by me for the next 10 minutes. At the time it was already past nine. Great- we're gonna be fashionably late. Didn't faze me much, since I was always late to class and whatnot. Never hurts to be late as to be pretty.

"Alright- she's done. Now, let's get ready for the cliché walking down the stairs thing." Tyler says, you could hear his smile. Cameras snapped, and rustling was heard. I thought that is would be really damn weird for me to be in the garden rather than in your living room, so I sprinted at godspeed back to that sofa and hopped into your comfortable chair. My body sank into the velvet.

"Oh, Jesus- Tyler, you little-! Don't touch her hair! Get away with your fancy shmancy spraying bullsh-" Ah, Brendon. Sweet, sweet Brendon. When will you ever shut the fuck up?

"It's hairspray, genius." Tyler calmly argued as I heard a little more shuffling.

And then, you appeared. You stood at the top of the extending staircase. You looked stunning. My breath was taken away at every blink of your pretty eyes. At every inch of you that was there standing in shiny combat boots. At every passing millisecond you spent beaming at me, Sugar.

I felt like I could burst into tears at that moment. But I couldn't, because I'm a bad bitch- remember?

Anyways, I'm getting emotional here. You just looked so stunning and until now that image of you in that dress is burned into my head.

You smiled, and you looked a thousand times better. No, a million. And I felt like my eyeliner was running, so I tilted my head up. Not after saying "Holy smokes.", which was an understatement to how i felt when i saw you.

You laughed, and it lightly echoed throughout the room. Dallon was taking pictures and the camera was clicking, and I still have one of the photos. It's the one where you were sitting next to me on your old couch and we were smiling, you held up a hand in a peace sign, and i held up bunny ears behind your head with a small smile.

It's one of the best moments in my life, until now.

I love you, Y/n. I just needed to get this off my chest. I'm sorry for weighing it on you, Sugar. It's been years since I've ever said that. Did you know, the last time was that when I was as drunk as ever? Or not.

That same night of prom that was oh-so many years ago. We were on roof of the car, and everyone else was either passed out or too piss drunk to even speak.

You were slightly intoxicated and I wasn't. Even a little bit. Especially after the alcohol poisoning. See, I can talk about it now without crying or getting angry. Growth!

That night I saw you in your absolute form. That doesn't make sense, but to me it does. The slight breeze, blowing the strands of hair from the, earlier, perfect hairdo. The faded make-up. Your untainted lips because you didn't like lipstick all that much before. Your eyes, not-so blown from alcohol, shining and pretty and the most beautiful ever.

I whispered the three goddamn words. "I love you."

Like an idiot, really. I didn't think before I said them.

You didn't say anything, just smiled. Then I got afraid, like a coward, and stood up to stand at the side of the car. I took out a lighter then started silently fucking crying about how I was so whipped for you. Thank god that nobody was properly conscious at the time.

My one and only not-really high school sweetheart. My teenage heartbreak queen.

You didn't hallucinate. You didn't imagine it. It was a hundred percent real. I'm sorry that I lied by shaking it off. Now, look where it's got me.

Confessing on your wedding day.

I don't know if you want to read this letter before or after the wedding. Still, really bad fucking timing. I'm sorry. I'm probably selfish and inconsiderate and might as well still be playing the attention whore from high school.

Don't worry about me. I've met a girl, her name is Lindsey. She's cool. I love her, and we're about seven months strong.

Maybe she's the one.

Congratulations, Sugar. Don't worry, I'll go to your wedding, maybe stop by for a while. I hope you're happy with Frank. Imagine, Y/n Iero. That actually makes me happy, you and Frankie.

I love you, forever and always.

God, that's cheesy.

Xoxo, G

[makeste]

1)Makeste, been reading over your latest all for one/one for all theory post, and while I think it’s intriguing, I was a bit confused over how you seemed to think that (SPOILERS POTENTIALLY) if One for All really is a more benevolent take on All For One’s Quirk- literally the same power, but used in a different way more befitting of a hero, then that meant Deku couldn’t still be All For one’s potential offspring anymore. For me, your theory actually seemed to inform this perspective, and now I

(note: once again I’ve taken all of the asks and merged them all together for greater readability, so here’s the rest.)

...and now I think it’s even more likely that deku could be a secret son and heir to All For One.

(...actually, I’m putting the rest of the ask and my response under the cut -- this got way longer than I intended lol.)

One thing that’s common amongst those ‘gifted’ with multiple quirks is that to even be capable of holding more than 1 power set, you need to have your body modified to be able to withstand the strain of more than one quirk- and thus differing bio-energies and mutations needed to properly utilise them clashing with each other within your body- if your body’s not capable of handling the pressure, it’s hinted that the damage could potentially result in a similar situation to someone eating more than 1 devil fruit in One Piece I.e you’re geography(in that you are now literally part of the landscape in the immediate area, floors and walls included, which must be hell for Ujiko to mop up afterwards) however, there are three exceptions to this- Giganto, All For One and Midoria, all of whom can wield multiple quirks, apparently in harmony with each other without suffering the negative side effects that the rest of the populace must go through to be even capable of doubling their own powers, never mind that it’s mostly involuntary and unwilling on most of the participants.

All For One goes without saying, since his body is hinted to be naturally capable of housing a ridiculous amount of Quirks, perhaps as a side effect of lacking his own ‘true’ power, but Giganto is another story- he’s the only other one we’ve seen to be capable of holding multiple powers naturally, but it’s hinted this is only because his quirk or his body structure lets him absorb/endure whatever damages normally result for wielding multiple quirks at once, and he’s still somewhat affected by the strain of it anyway. His mind is capable of rational thought, making his own decisions depending on the situation, and holding memories of his past life, all things none of the Nomu can preform- however, in exchange, it’s clear that what mind he does have isn’t very bright, as he’s easily manipulated by ujiko using just a recording of All For One’s voice, acts in a animalistic fashion, ignores social conventions like wearing clothes, and seems to have lost his humanity in exchange for overwhelming strength, ensuring he can never be a part of normal society, even though he doesn’t actually look that weird compared to some other mutations we’ve seen walking about in broad daylight.

In contrast, Midoria, despite only being capable of wielding 20% of One for All, is already starting to utilise and adapt the various powers within the quirk without any mental or physical drawbacks, beyond the teething problems of suddenly developing a new power that has different requirements to his current move set, and his fear at going though changes no-one else has, whereas All Might, even after mastering the physical aspect to its ultimate limit, never even had a hint that he could do more than just punch creatively. Part of this may be the whole spiritual thing, part of it may be that the quirk’s ‘physical’ development wasn’t exactly ready for use in that manner, but frankly, I think it means Izuku’s body is somehow, despite being naturally quirkless, suited for using multiple quirks, allowing him to wield different interlocking powers without losing any of his sanity or humanity, unlike Giganto, but exactly like somebody else.

I think I once wrote up a little mini- statement about how Izuku was more fitting as a Good Counterpart of All For one than All Might, who was simply too opposite of the symbol of evil to have any point in common beyond the role as an opposing symbol of peace. Having the exact same power as his father, and in fact being able to wield that power to the fullest extent beyond what even his mentor or the previous generations of heroes could, precisely because of his inherited genes being from someone naturally predisposed to absorb and utilise multiple quirks at once without suffering any side effects only deepens that connection between the two.

In fact, if Izuku is his son, then it means that he technically inherited his uncle’s- the ‘first’ wielder- recessive genes, being skipped over entirely by the genetic lottery just like his long-dead, yet still resurrected uncle was compared to their shared family member’s power, which wouldn’t be the only thing Izuku has in common with the siblings. Izuku’s analytical mind allows him to understand a lot about the conditions and limitations behind any quirks he witnesses in action, allowing him to formulate counter strategies like we saw in Miro’s spar, or even utilise those very same quirks to his advantage later. All For One Demonstrates a similar analytical appreciation towards quirks, though his come with the intent of understanding the power and the reasoning behind whether or not it would be beneficial for him to steal it for himself, his subordinates or turn his person of interest into a nomu. They both seem to have a mind and body capable of wielding greater strength than those around them through multiple abilities, and it seems that as Midoria gains greater control over his varied abilities, he somehow gets mentally closer to All For One, though only AFO seems to be aware of this, perhaps due to his greater expertise with their ‘shared’ quirk. Actually, if Izuku is indeed his son, and your theory is correct, then that means Izuku went through the world’s most convoluted method of inheriting his parent’s quirk, going through 10 generations and a childhood of alienation to get to the same starting point as his peers.

But yeah, to sum up, the fact that Izuku is so ‘normal’ now, despite gaining a power that we’ve seems physically and mentally ruin anybody else who had it, save one other, makes me think that Izuku may still be connected to All For One on a far deeper level than anybody else realises. Which of course means that Izuku gets the angst of being the son of his greatest nemeses, harbouring the soul, mind and powers of his greatest nemeses, and potentially being alienated from every hero in the world of the extent of this connection gets out, and everybody starts seeing him as All For One 2.0, or a means of the Symbol of Evil resurrecting himself inside a fresh, healthy young body to build his empire again. Angst for days, Boy!

okay, so let me start by saying that I’m not quite sure where this idea (which I’ve seen before) comes from that it takes a specific type of body to handle multiple quirks? from what I recall, the only evidence we’ve seen of that that is All Might’s explanation in chapter 59 about some people being unable to “bear the load” of receiving quirks from All for One. but I thought that was more about them having quirks forced on them than anything else. I got the impression that it was a very invasive and violent thing to do to a person -- basically an assault on their minds -- and that that was what messed them up for the most part. though I could be wrong about that.

one thing I want to note is that you mentioned Gigantomachia as an example of someone who can withstand multiple quirks, but I believe that was a mistranslation on JBox’s and Mangastream’s parts. Viz’s translation, which makes more sense to me, is that Gigantomachia is so strong that he was able to serve as All for One’s bodyguard even without having multiple quirks.

so yeah. I think the clashing translations caused a lot of confusion in this regard, but my current understanding is that Machia is so feared because he has ridiculously OP strength, speed, stamina, durability, etc. even without being modified like the Noumu. he’s just that fucking strong on his own, which is what makes him so impressive.

that being said, how to explain this... my interpretation is that the All for One quirk basically is the ability to withstand multiple quirks (in addition to the whole “granting” and “stealing” thing). like, that’s part of the power. it grants you the ability to handle unlimited quirks. I don’t think DNA or genetics or anything are a requirement for it. while Horikoshi does put a surprising amount of thought into having “realistic” limitations and provisos for his quirks, they’re all still basically magic to some degree. Hawks has feathers that he can telepathically control with his mind. Tokoyami has a sentient shadow that he can partially control and he can use it to fly and it can rip shit apart. Todoroki can produce ice out of literally nothing. Kuroiro can physically interact with the color black. quirks are fucking bonkers and I think we have to bear that in mind to some extent. so while All for One does no doubt have its own specific rules and caveats, I would think it’s still something that still falls under the somewhat phoned-in logical reasoning of “you have this quirk, so your body is now magically capable of handling all other types of quirks regardless of the physical nature of said quirks” with all other logic basically being handwaved accordingly.

I mean, Monoma is also capable of handling multiple quirks, holding at least four at once with no side effects whatsoever, and there doesn’t seem to be anything particular special about his own body. kid’s a goddamn twink. and yet he can “withstand” the strain perfectly fine and even has near-perfect control of his newly acquired quirks pretty much immediately upon borrowing them. he can jump from Kirishima’s hardening to Bakugou’s explosion hands in a split second and turn them off and on at will with no physical repercussions. there’s no scientific explanation for it other than it just being How His Quirk Works. I’d imagine it’s much the same for Deku. the fact that he has multiple quirks now isn’t necessarily an indicator that he must be genetically related to AFO, but what is does indicate is that he most definitely has the same quirk as him, or something very near to it.

none of this means that he can’t still be AFO’s son, mind! but the reason I don’t think it’s likely is because in my view it would come off as a bit clunky. like, from a writing perspective, it’s kind of overkill to have not one, but two overly convoluted explanations for something when just one would suffice. “Deku is AFO’s secret son” and “Deku has the same power as AFO” are both major plot twists each requiring a certain suspension of disbelief in the sense of “so you’re telling me that this kid just happens to be...” like, that’s a lot of coincidence to swallow. and past a certain point, it kind of shifts this from being a story about an ordinary kid who had a turn of fortune one day that turned out to be the start of something epic, into a story about The Son Of The Most Powerful Man In The World, Who Was Always Destined To Defeat Him And Just Never Knew It. which is also a perfectly fine story to tell! but the two ideas do kind of clash with each other, so if your goal is to tell the latter one, it doesn’t really make sense to try and insert elements from the former as well.

lol I don’t know if any of this is making sense. but basically what I’m trying to say is that I think it’s better writing to just pick one or the other. either he has this power because he’s AFO’s son, or he has it because it was passed down to him through OFA. there’s no need for both, and it makes an already complicated story even more complicated. that’s where Game of Thrones started shooting itself in the foot in its later seasons. destiny and twists of fate and such are awesome, but you have to be careful not to go overboard with it or it starts to feel forced. Deku can either be Harry Potter or he can be Luke Skywalker, but both is kind of pushing it. to borrow your phrasing, it would indeed be “the world’s most convoluted method of inheriting his parent’s quirk.” and this is just my own personal preference, perhaps, but I think the story flows better and feels cleaner if it’s just one or the other.

anyway so those are my thoughts thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. sorry for shooting down your very thought-provoking ask!! or at least it feels like I did, sob. but I do enjoy this kind of plot discussion a lot, and it’s also a particularly good way of passing the time while we wait TWO! WHOLE! WEEKS!!! for the next chapter sob so there’s that too, lol.

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Ch. 2 - Nudie Groovin’ straight into a plot crater.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause...cause.

Last time on Gormless:

Alexia’s husband gotta do a thing in London. Her lawn is full of hot werewolves and the hottest one tried to both beat the shit out of her and fuck her. She’s not into being beat up, but she still wants to fuck him. That’s healthy.  She’s gotta get to London too but her token dumb friend, Ivy, shows up and wants to talk about how she’s engaged to someone she doesn’t love.

Chapter 2 - Nudie Groovin’ straight into a plot crater.

Maccon is running his little wolf butt over to London where the problem is.  As he’s running he thinks, “My wife has said I’m handsome in my wolf form but never in my human form.”

Damnit Alexia you’ve implied you think dogs are hotter than people twice already and we’re only at chapter two and like...I’m all for horny female leads, but Alexia is directing her horniness in every direction and some of them are incorrect. 

Meanwhile Ivy is fussing over the servant who got punched, Tunstell.  Ivy and Tunstell were the two that Lyall and Alexia tried to shack up at Alexia’s wedding. So, as predicted, Ivy is marrying somebody not Tunstell cause DRAMA!  However in the span of 2 pages they make…I shit you not…7 separate references to how badly the two are pining for each other.  Mind you some of the references are multiple sentences long and this type face is fucking enormous.

They’re not even cute, clever, or even amusingly overplayed. After this many references in such a short time frame I’d count that as haha FUCKING ANNOYING!  Alexia, like a good friend, tells Ivy that Tunstell is a servant of the pack so he can become a werewolf someday, and that if he gets to that point he’ll probably die during the transformation.  If he doesn’t get to that point, Tunstell as an actor is paid in dirt and dysentery. So it’s better that she’s marrying any other dude.  That was some ice cold shit that I was honestly not expecting at all out of her.  Alexia personally tried to get the two of them together at the end of the last book, and her recent ~romance~ bloomed against all odds.  The only reason she’s dumping this shit on Ivy is to make sure this drama lasts more than a chapter…or maybe she doesn’t think Tunstell and Ivy have a healthy relationship cause they don’t spend all of their interactions screaming or fucking or scream-fucking each other.

But eventually Alexia remembers she’s late for a meeting so she hops in her carriage to get there.  Ivy goes with her and it’s stated that Ivy relates to Alexia her wedding plans for 2 hours straight.  And oh lord, I have been in similar situations. A part of me feels for Alexia, but another part of me is like...not long ago I read what felt like 20 pages of wedding dress, food, and decor descriptions.  So she gets what she deserves.

We eventually get to the meeting and thus meet the head werewolf and vampire who she just refers to as their titles.  The head werewolf is called a Dewan and is a big hairy grump who high-key hates her. The head vampire is called a Potentate and is a slimy suck-up who low-key hates her.  

Let’s set the timer for when they both begrudgingly come to respect her!

We tediously re-explain the humanization phenomenon and introduce the ~glassicals~ again.  Great that was so important and hilarious from the last novel.  The Potentate also implies there’s a supernatural race stronger than the ones we already know. DUN DUN DUN!  Also that an Alpha werewolf from Maccon’s old pack has mysteriously died.  DUN DUN DUN!  Eventually both the Potentate and the Dewan accuse Alexia of causing this humanization problem in London but eventually they all decide it is some ~science~ thing.  They also bring up all the soldiers are coming back at the same time but the literal head of the military, the Dewan, when asked about this is like, “I honestly don’t know? I think it’s cut-backs I guess?” I’m glad we have an ominous plot point to build mystery and tension, but I really wish you didn’t slip it between two slices of real shit writing.

So they put Alexia in charge of investigating this phenomenon. So what does Alexia do? She goes home, reads some books in her library, gives up, and goes to bed.

She does not send people out to interview those who have ties to anti-supernatural movements, investigate abandoned buildings, quiz any scientists working in the science of the supernatural, check to see if any supernatural people where murdered since it’s been going on, see if it started in certain parts of London before others, or question powerful supernatural people in the London area to find some potential suspects. She could also try to figure out if anything else was happening around the same time for clues, like I DON’T KNOW how all these military folks are coming back at the same time?

Nah bro, just read old ass books you’ve already read for clues to a brand new phenomenon.

In the first book it made sense that she just wandered around and asked her buds for help cause she was a nobody just curious about shit.  She’s now one of the most powerful women in the most powerful nation and now she’s doing less than the 1st book?  Yep she is a keen investigator! Glad you put her in charge Queeny!

So Maccon comes back, says the humanization thing has suddenly and mysteriously stopped.  We almost get more information but they do the thing they’re best at. By that I mean, they sorta put in a token effort to argue with each other over petty bullshit but they’re too horny to care enough and bang.  But we get fade to black don’t ya know. K book, that’s why I have an adult novel!

Say something nice faps:

At least there’s plot.  Plot that is starting mysterious in order to build some tension.

Lots of exposition in this chapter that’s not total garbage.

I can approve of Ivy having a crush on Tunstell, the dramatic twink. I would feast for years upon dramatic twinks before I’d even glance at 1 perfumed Neanderthal.

They make a gay joke at Maccon’s expense while he’s naked.  And a part of me thrills to see an egotistical homophobe humiliated.

Gotta agree with the higher ups, Alexia does suck, but it’s best not to feed her hungry-as-hell persecution complex.

When Maccon and Alexia bang it implies that Maccon goes down on her. And like…cunnilingus is awesome okay, I’ll celebrate consensual cunnilingus almost anywhere.

[you-and-i-for-forever]

10 Things I Hate About You AU Chapter 9

Fandom: Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hansen

Word count: 4.2k

Feel free the read this on my ao3 instead!

Michael stood outside the hospital room ringing a teddy bear in his hands.

Should he really be here? He didn’t even know Rich that well, besides the fact that he bullied Jeremy. This guy was a huge jerk.

But Michael couldn’t help it. The past few days at school everyone had been gossiping, texting, and tweeting about Rich and the fire. Every single person had a different version of what had happened, but no one was talking about how Rich was doing or when he was coming back to school.

He couldn’t stand the idea of Rich being alone in the hospital, no friends going to visit him.

After school ended, Michael had made a quick stop at home then he drove right to the hospital. The nurse asked for his name, then told him which room Rich’s was and that’s where Michael was now.

Michael inhaled deeply and knocked on the door.

No answer.

Maybe Rich was asleep. Should Michael still go in? Should he wait for Rich to wake up?

Michael opened the door anyway and stepped in anyway. He winced at what he found.

Rich was lying almost completely naked on the bed besides a small sheet covering his crotch for modesty. Horrible, deep red burn marks were scattered across his skin. Blisters had formed on the back of his hands and his entire body looked wet and shiny.

Michael moved his eyes up to Rich’s face, a smattering of small burns ran from his neck up to his cheeks, and locked eyes with him.

“Hey,” Rich said out of the none burned corner of his mouth.

“Hey,” Michael said, trying desperately not to look at the damaged skin.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

“You’re not a nurse,” Rich said.

“I’m Michael. We go to school together.”

“Yeah, I know. We’ve had classes together since middle school.” Rich said, not sounding very interested.

“I brought you this,” Michael said, showing off the teddy bear.

“Thanks, I love girly crap,” Rich replied, watching Michael set it down on his nightstand then pulled up a chair to his bedside.

They sat in a short awkward silence.

“What are you doing here?” Rich finally asked

“I-” Michael started, but stopped.

He wondered if he should tell him about the rumors or not.

“Wanted to see how you were,” Michael finished.

Rich blew a large breath out of his nose and tried to readjust himself on the bed.

“Be honest: what are they saying about me at school?”

“Well…it’s a…it’s not great,” Michael said.

“God damn it,” Rich said and closed his eyes, “I screwed everything up.”

“Whaaaaaaat? No!” Michael said

“I burned down a house, I permanently messed up my body, my best friend definitely hates me, and that little bitch is still with him.”

Michael had been sympathetically nodding along with what Rich had been saying until the last part.

“Wait, what was that last thing?”

“This overrated little twink is dating Jake,” Rich said, furrowing his brow as much as he could.

“Jeremy?” Michael asked “Jeremy is one of your problems? Seriously? Right now?!”

“He’s dating Jake!”

Michael stopped, realized something, and started to laugh.

“What?” Rich asked “What?”

Michael laughed until his stomach hurt and Rich looked like he was going to get up and strangle him. When he had finally calmed down from his fit, Michael rested his chin on his hand.

“Dude, you and I got the same problem! Jeremy’s dating Jake!” Michael said, shaking his head in disbelief.

“How the hell do we have the same problem?” Rich asked with a bite to his tone.

“Because I like Jeremy! And you like Jake! So, we have the same problem!” Michael said with a large smile.

Michael watched the anger slip from Rich’s face, replaced with fear.

“I don’t like Jake,” Rich said quietly.

“What? Then why the hell do you care if he’s dating someone?”

“I’m not a fucking fag and I only care ‘cause I don’t want Jake to be seen with that fucking virgin,” Rich said through clenched teeth.

“Oh,” Michael said.

Michael never wanted to assume anyone’s sexuality, but he had a feeling Rich might not be telling him the whole truth.

“Well…I’m fucking gay and I like Jeremy, so that’s my problem,” Michael said with a shrug.

“Good for you,” Rich mumbled.

Yet another silence fell between them.

Michael bit the inside of his lip. He had come to try and make Rich feel less lonely, not like shit. Was there a way to actually end on a positive note now?

“Do you want to go to the school dance?” Michael blurted out before he could stop himself.

Why the hell had he just done that? How was that going to help anything?

“Dude, did you not just hear me? I’m. Not. Gay.” Rich said, his lips pulled back to show his teeth.

“As friends!” Michael said, “Just as friends. It seems like it’s gonna be fun and since Jake is probably gonna be going with Jeremy, so maybe you and I should go and hang.”

Rich stared at him for a moment, looking extremely deep in thought.

Michael was absolutely stunned when Rich nodded his head as best as he could.

“Fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, the whole school already thinks I’m a freak and Jake hates me so might as well,” Rich said with a sad smile.

-

Connor had to stop the small smile the kept trying to creep onto his face all day.

After he and Evan had made out for what felt like hours, they both agreed they should stop, not wanting things to go too far before either of them were ready. They spent the rest of the day talking, playing video games, watching tv, and holding hands.

When it was time for Connor to go home, Evan walked him down to the door.

“Yes,” Evan had said after Connor gave him a short goodbye kiss.

“What?” Connor asked.

“I wanna go to the dance with you.”

Connor had pulled Evan back into another kiss before leaving.

Connor almost sighed thinking about the way Evan had looked after that last kiss. Pink cheeks and wide blue eyes.

“Hey, Murphy!”

Connor’s good mood instantly vanished. Jake was sitting in a wheelchair in front of him, pushing a couple 50-dollar bills into his hands.

Jake had broken both his legs from the fall out of the window during the fire and was probably going to be in the wheelchair for weeks.

“Here. This should take care of the flowers, the limo, the tux, everything. Just make sure he gets to the dance.” Jake said.

Connor looked down at the money before shoving it back towards the guy.

“I’m sick of playing your game.”

Jake rolled his eyes and pulled more bills out of his front pocket, counting them quickly, “You sick of 300?”

Connor clenched and unclenched his jaw staring down at the money. It was torture…but he would need it eventually.

He reached out and snatched the money from Jake before giving him a nod and walking away.

-

Jake continued down the hallway after dealing with Connor.

What a weirdo. Why did that guy always have to be so weird about everything?

Jake mentally shrugged and looked at a group of freshman girls all looking at his and shyly waving. He winked and they all giggled and blushed.

He rolled down a small ramp and was about to at a water fountain when he spotted Jeremy.

“Babe! Hey!” Jake called out and caught his boyfriend’s attention.

Jeremy saw Jake and smiled, making his way over to him.

Once Jeremy was close enough, Jake grabbed Jeremy by the cheeks and brought him down for a kiss.

“I can’t believe I didn’t mention it before, but do you want to go to the dance? It seems like it’s gonna be super fun and I haven’t missed one yet.”

Jeremy’s smile quickly faded.

“The rule…I can’t-”

Jake cut him off with another kiss.

“Don’t worry, I already got it covered.” Jake said wiggling his eyebrows before changing the subject, “I’m gonna get a purple tux, it’s definitely my color.”

Jeremy leaned back and had a small, pleased looking smile on his face. Jake grinned back at him. Jeremy really was cute. Jake especially liked his eyes. They were always full of wonder and a little bit of amusement. They reminded him of Rich’s eyes.

Jake completely mentally stopped and sulked. He missed his best friend. After the whole fire thing had all happened, he didn’t care that his house and stuff was gone, he was just worried about Rich.

Jake had been in the hospital for a while, recovering from his injuries but after he got out, he was too scared to go see Rich. Jake had asked a nurse about Rich and she told him about his full body burns. Jake was absolutely horrified. How was he supposed to go face his best friend when it was his party that he had almost killed him? Jake had tried to look for Rich in the fire when it broke out but quickly had to abandon his search when he had been cornered in a room and had to escape through the window.

Jake felt himself start to seethe, just thinking about finding the person who had started the fire and punching the shit out of them for what they did to Rich.

“You ok?” Jeremy asked.

Jake looked up at Jeremy, quickly stopping himself from boiling over.

“Yeah, totally! Can I roll with you to class?” Jake asked, trying to ignore the horrible guilt and rage reawaking in his chest.

-

Evan had waited for Connor after school by his car. Connor had offered to drive him home (or anywhere) whenever he wanted. He waited 20 minutes before he went looking for Connor. After checking his usual haunts, the courtyard and a few bathrooms, Evan passed by a few girls who were crowding around their lockers.

“He just punched that guy right in the face, can you believe that?” One girl said.

“God, he’s such a freak! His sister really needs to put him on a leash.” Another said.

Evan’s shoes squeaked on the ground and one of the girls glanced at him. She immediately turned to the other girls and they all started giggling and speaking in hushed tones. Evan blushed and made his way up a stairwell, knowing where to find Connor now.

On the third floor was the room where detention was held. Evan glanced into the half-empty classroom and saw his environmental studies teacher, Mr. Chapin, talking to a student towards the back. Evan spotted Connor on the other side of the room, with his head on the desk. Evan smiled a little.

Mr. Chapin made his way back to the front of the classroom and Evan walked in.

“Um, sir?” Evan asked in a shy voice “I have some questions about the lesson today.”

“Okay, great. Let me pull up my notes.” Mr. Chapin said with a smile and bent down behind his desk to start pulling out materials from his bag.

Evan glanced over at Connor and found him staring back at him with a surprised expression.

Evan tilted his eyes over to the large, open window and mouthed, “The window.”

Connor raised an eyebrow.

“Window,” He mouthed again.

Mr. Chapin turned around to face him and Evan laughed awkwardly out of fear of being caught.

“I didn’t really understand the part on invasive species,” Evan said.

Evan watched Connor out of the corner of his eye. Mr. Chapin had swiveled his chair to face Evan so Connor silently grabbed his backpack and stood up.

“Oh well, let me grab the list of species, I just need to get the book-” Mr. Chapin started to turn back around. He was going to see Connor.

Evan gasped, loud and sharp, and Mr. Chapin’s head whipped back around to look at him. Evan paused before muttering “Sorry…I thought-felt like a-I-I thought I was going to sneeze.”

Mr. Chapin raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“Also!” Evan interjected before his teacher tried to turn back around, “I was wrong, I, um, actually need help with, uh, pollution control and acid rain.”

“Oh, alright,” Mr. Chapin said with a nod, giving Evan an odd look.

Evan chanced a look up and saw Connor was close to the window, slowing getting up on the cabinets that were just below it.

“I just didn’t really understand what it was all about and, um, wanted to know if you could explain it any further because I really can’t afford to fall behind in your class but I just don’t really understand what it’s all about exactly.” Evan sputtered out in what felt like a second.

“It’s no trouble. You’re really doing really well in my class right now though, Evan. But I’m happy to help if you feel like you need it.”

“Okay, thanks,” Evan said with a nervous smile

“Let’s start by going over the basics first.” Mr. Chapin said and pulled out a red pen to make notes.

Evan glanced up at Connor again. Connor was halfway out the window and onto the fire escape. Evan breathed a small sigh of relief…until Connor’s foot lightly squeaked against the cabinet.

Mr. Chapin frowned and started to adjust to look behind him.

“Mr. Chapin!” Evan slammed his hand down on the desk. He felt his face grow red hot, but he was desperate for Connor not to get caught.

“I just remembered that I have to go!” Evan exclaimed and stood up abruptly. Connor had disappeared down the fire escape.

Evan grabbed his backpack and rushed out the door, face burning. That had been so dumb. Why had he done that? What was even the point of that? He had never done something so stupid before! That’s a lie, but still! What was he thinking? Connor hadn’t even asked him to do that. What if Connor hadn’t wanted to skip detention? Was it really worth maybe getting himself and Connor into trouble just to break him out of detention?

Evan mind went blank when he turned a corner and saw Connor standing there with a small smile on his face. Evan scurried over to him Connor slung an arm over his shoulder.

“I can’t thank you enough for helping me sneak out of detention. Very cool.” Connor murmured and led Evan out the door.

“No problem,” Evan said.

“I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window. So how did you keep him distracted?” Connor asked.

“I dazzled him.” Evan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“How did you know where to find me?” Connor asked.

“Heard some people gossiping in the hallways. Why-why did you punch someone?” Evan asked

Connor was silent. His arm fell from around Evan’s shoulders and he looked away from him.

“Connor?” Evan asked

“Someone…someone said something about us…being gay,” Connor said then huffed. “I didn’t even realize that I had hit him until he was on the ground.”

Evan hummed then fell silent. They walked to the parking lot and got into Connor’s car.

“Do you want to come over to my house?” Connor asked.

“Sure.” Evan smiled.

-

The house was quiet when they entered. Connor had told him that his parents weren’t going to be back to later and Zoe was still at school for band practice. It still felt large and silent. Connor pulled him up to his room then closed the door so they had an even bigger sense of privacy.

Evan’s eyes scanned the room. It was only a little bit bigger than Evan’s bedroom, which was surprising considering the size of the rest of the house. The ceiling was low and slanted so it gave the whole room a sort of attic feel. It was cozy and nice and smelled like Connor. The walls were white and had some posters of bands and movies stuck up here and there. A glass tank with a small green frog sat on top wooden shelves.

“That’s Heath Ledger,” Connor said, pointing at the frog.

Evan smiled and waved at Heath Ledger who croaked at him and hopped around.

A large bookcase filled with figurines and books loomed in the corner. Evan walked straight over to that the started scanning books.

The Book Thief, The Little Prince, The Outsiders, 1948, The Bell Jar, Percy Jackson, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Slaughterhouse-Five, Lord of the Flies, the Harry Potter series.

Evan looked through all the spines and found a children’s book at the end of one shelf.

“Where the Wild Things Are?” Evan asked.

“It was my favorite book as a kid,” Connor said with a shrug.

Evan walked over and sat down next to Connor on the bed.

“Thanks for inviting me over,” Evan said.

“Thanks for getting me out of detention,” Connor fired back.

Evan nodded and tried to think of something else to say. This was his first time over at someone’s house in a long time. It was the first time he was at a boy’s house in that kind of way.

Connor scooted closer and put a hand under Evan’s chin to tilt it up. They gazed into each other’s eyes. Connor leaned in and they kissed slowly.

Evan’s eyes flickered closed and he sighed gently. Their mouths moved together and Evan felt dizzy. Connor’s lips were chapped and warm and he breathed through his nose lightly while kissing.

Soon, Evan was laying on his back on the bed. He had his hands resting on Connor’s shoulders and Connor was hovering over him, one hand cupping his cheek, kissing him softly. Evan didn’t know anyone who had ever wanted to kiss him like this before. Evan made a small noise at the thought and pulled Connor down so he was practically laying on top of him. Connor was deceptively heavy for how thin he looked, but his weight was comforting and warm.

Connor smiled into the kiss but then left Evan’s lips to trail kisses down his jaw to his throat.

Oh, Evan liked that. He liked that a lot. He felt himself turn into putty as Connor kissed and lightly sucked at his neck. Evan couldn’t help it and he breathed Connor’s name.

Teeth gently latched onto Evan’s neck for a second before going back to placing small kisses near his collarbone. Evan blushed and started to breathe harder. The way Connor was pressed against him, rubbing his hand up and down Evan’s side, was making his pants feel a little uncomfortable.

Connor ran his lips back up Evan’s neck and started to nibble at his ear. Evan shuttered and let out a breathy moan. He felt Connor’s hand travel down and to where his shirt had ridden up, and start stroking the skin on his hip.

Evan turned his head once Connor stopped pressing little kisses to the shell of his ear. Connor gave him a genuine, dazzling smile and Evan thought his heart might explode. Evan felt the butterflies flutter in his stomach, and he leaned over to kiss Connor more.

Evan thought he felt Connor’s tongue brush against his lips – The bedroom door flew open.

“Connor, did you drink all the -” It was Zoe, holding a milk jug.

She gasped when she saw them.

“Zoe!” Connor sat up and barked her name. Evan’s face felt like it was burning. He thought he might throw up.

“What the hell? What is he doing here?” Zoe said.

“None of your business! Why aren’t you at jazz band or whatever?” Connor stood up and visibly bristled.

Zoe’s face scrunched up in confusion, anger, and a little bit of fear.

“Evan, right?” Zoe looked over at him.

How did she know his name?

“You really shouldn’t be hanging out with him.” She said glaring at Connor.

Evan scrambled up to stand next to Connor. He really, really didn’t want to get in between a sibling feud with the Murphy’s, but he could feel how angry Connor was becoming.

“No it’s okay,” Evan managed to choke out, “we’re friends, we’re just hanging out.”

“Friends?” Zoe asked. Evan couldn’t tell if the skepticism in her voice came from knowing that friends don’t kiss like that or that either Connor or Evan could have friends.

Evan blushed and gulped loudly, “Well you know not friends exactly but we’re, we’re toge- we’re, uh, together, um, right now and we’re okay, uh, thanks.”

Zoe’s eyes flicked between Evan and Connor’s faces before taking a few cautious steps forward. Suddenly, Zoe had her hand wrapped around Evan’s wrist and was quickly tugging him towards the door.

“Come on, you really need to get out of here!” Zoe said.

Evan tried pulling his hand away from her in a panic.

“No really, please it’s okay-” Evan said.

Evan felt Connor grasp his forearm and waist and stood firm.

“Zoe, let go!” Connor growled.

Zoe and Connor were shouting over each other, each pulling at Evan. Evan was begging for Zoe to let him go, his anxiety spiking and his wrist aching. Evan felt like a toy being fought over.

“Evan, you really don’t know what he’s capable of!”

“Don’t touch him!”

“Please, I’m okay really!”

“He’s a monster!”

“He doesn’t like people touching him!”

“Please stop, we’re friends.”

“Have you tried to pull a knife on him yet, Connor?!”

“I swear to god Zoey if you don’t leave right now!”

“Let go please just let go of me please just let- JUST LET GO!” Evan screamed. Zoe finally released her hold and stumbled back a few steps, looking shocked. Connor let go as well, giving Evan some space.

“Connor wouldn’t do that!” Evan said, tears swelling up in his eyes and his body starting to shake, “He’s not like that.”

“Evan-” Zoe started but Evan shook his head.

“He’s not like that.” Evan’s voice broke.

Evan turned away from her and hid his face in hands. Connor enveloped Evan in a hug and squeezed him tight.

“Go away, Zoe.” Connor hissed, sounding absolutely livid.

There was tense silence for several moments, no one moved or said anything, and then Evan heard Zoe shuffled back to the door.

“You’re wrong Evan…He is like that.” Zoe spat, voice sharp.

There was a soft click of the door closing then soft footsteps leading away. Evan relaxed into Connor’s arms and let out a breath he had been holding.

Evan pulled away and went to go sit on the edge of Connor’s bed. He expected Connor to follow him but when Evan looked up, he was still standing in the same spot, staring at the door.

“Connor?” Evan asked

“She’s right, you know.”

Connor turned to him, running his hand through his hair. His face was blotchy and red but he wasn’t crying.

“She’s right,” Connor shrugged, eyes looking anywhere but at Evan.

“What?” Evan asked

“She’s right, I am a mon-” Connor cut off his sentence, looking like he couldn’t bear to finish it.

“Connor, that’s not true,” Evan said.

“It is, it is. You didn’t know me before. I was…I was a monster. I was crazy. I did bad things to Zoe. I screamed and threatened and hit her. Not even like kid stuff, it wasn’t even that long ago.”

Connor started pacing the floor.

“I threw her against walls, beat the shit out of her, threw a glass at her, and she tried to lock herself in the bathroom once and I kicked the door so hard for so long it almost broke off its hinges.”

Connor stopped moving and sat down on the bed, as far away from Evan as possible. He put his head in his hands and rocked back and forth slightly.

“Connor,” Evan said in the gentlest voice he could.

He scooted over and slowly brought his hand up to rub a calming hand over Connor’s back. Connor looked up at him and gave a sorrowful smile. Evan gave him a smile to match.

“I’m a bad person,” Connor whispered.

Evan shook his head and pulled at Connor’s sleeve. Slowly, almost unsure, like this was the first time they had touched each other, they laid back on Connor’s bed. Evan guided Connor down and set his head down on Evan’s chest and Evan brought his hand up to run through Connor’s hair.

“You’re not like that anymore,” Evan whispered, brushing the hair from Connor’s face.

“I still did all those things though. Bad things.” Connor muttered.

“I didn’t know you before. I just know that you signed my cast and send me emails and talk to me and asked me to my first dance and gave me your only tie to wear and were my first kiss and took me to my first party then saved me from a fire. Connor. Bad people don’t do that. They don’t act like you do. You’re so good.” Evan, thankfully, for once, said without stuttering much.

Evan felt like crying but he tried to hold it together. Connor’s breathing became deeper and ragged. He reached up and grasped Evan’s hand.

Connor didn’t say anything.  

He didn’t need to.

Evan kissed the top of his head and laced their fingers together.

[cometmedal]

I wasn’t tagged, I just nabbed this from someone on my dash ‘cause it looked fun!

Rules: answer 85 questions then tag 20 people

Last

Drink: Sam’s Cola

Phone call: n/a

Text message: Telling @cy-bug to sleep ‘cause they don’t feel well

Song you listened to: Carry On by Fun.

Time you cried: Last night, because I was laughing over a meme @voca-color showed me

Ever

Dated someone twice: Yes, and it was a mistake.

Kissed someone and regretted it: No, I’ve never kissed anybody besides my parents.

Been cheated on: Yes, a few times.

Lost someone special: Unfortunately, I’ve lost a large handful of friends, and I’m still trying to get over one despite the fact he’s been gone for about a year now.

Been depressed: A lot more often than I care to admit.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’m not legally allowed to drink, but even if I was, I wouldn’t drink for the sake of getting smashed. I have, however, drank too much water and threw up as a result.

Favourite colours

The entire sky blue hue range 

Pastel yellow and gold

Pastel pink (and pastels in general)

Teal and turquoise

In the last year have you…

Made new friends: I’ve made a bunch of new friends, many of which I talk to on a daily basis!

Fallen out of love: Fortunately, no! I’ve fallen in love, instead.

Laughed until you cried: A lot more times than I can count.

Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, although it’s been a fair balance of positive and negative.

Met someone who changed you: Absolutely.

Found out who your friends really are: Yes, and I love them with all my heart.

Kissed someone on your FaceBook friends list: I’ve kissed my mom.

General

How many of your FaceBook friends do you know irl: I don’t know 99% of them ‘cause they’re all folks my mom insisted I add because they’re her friends.

Do you have any pets: A cat named Yoyo, a budgie named Ruko and a lovebird named Henlo.

Do you want to change your name: I’m content with my name, right now.

What did you do for your last birthday: I don’t quite recall, but I know I got Mario Kart 8 Deluxe that year and I sat and played it for over 14 consecutive hours. I beat the game during that time.

What time did you wake up today: 7AM, just as I do every day.

What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. I go to bed at 12AM every night.

What is something you can’t wait for: Wreck-It Ralph 2! It’s so close, but so far away...

What are you listening to right now: We Are Young by Fun.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Not that I can recall...

Something that gets on your nerves: How acceptable it is to be rude and nasty in today’s society. Folks would rather blow others off, as opposed to being nice, whether it be for no reason or personal benefit. 

Most visited website: Tumblr, Gmail, Youtube, Paypal and Duolingo.

Hair colour: Blonde

Long or short hair: Short

Do you have a crush on someone: My crush and I are dating!

What do you like about yourself: I can’t really think of anything I like about myself.

Want any piercings: I had my ears pierced years ago, but the holes have closed up since then. I wanna get them re-pierced so I can wear geeky earrings. 

Blood type: I don’t remember specifics, but something O-type.

Nicknames (copied from another meme I did): Fix-It Felix (Jr.), &#^$-It Felix, Junior, Fiddlesticks, Hammer Time, Handyman, Big Bro/Bro, Lil Bro, Hackerman/Fix-It “Hackerman” Felix, Short Stack, Pint-Size, Twinkerbell/Twink, Little Blue, Fix-It, Lil Buddy, Good Noodle, Captain, Soft Boy, Weenie, Felix Parcell, Lucky, Smol Boi, Fixer, Hammers, Robot/Android, Gay, Guy With The Clean-Cut Store-Bought Vanilla Snore On His Head, Fewix, Gamer Boy Felix Dot Com, Sleeping Beauty, Cowboy, Funny Small Service Man, Fix-It Whimsical Jr./Fix-It Whimsical Felix, Cheetos Bacon and Cheese Ball, Master Meme Thief, Fix-It &#^$er, @^$&-It-Up Felix, Nintendo Wii, Gayest Cowboy, Bro, Space Wizard

Relationship status: Taken

Zodiac: Capricorn

Pronouns: he/him

Fave tv shows: 30 Rock, Spongebob Squarepants, Steven Universe

Tattoos: I don’t have any, but I’ve been considering one. I’m not sure what I want it to be, but I don’t want anything big and extravagant. 

Right or left handed: Right-handed!

Ever had surgery: I don’t think so.

Piercings: Both of my ears (closed up, as mentioned before).

Sports: I don’t engage in sporty activities, but I’m interested in dancing.

Vacations: I’ve never been on a vacation.

Trainers: Eh? As in, personal work-out trainers? If so, I don’t have one.

Eating: Nothing at the moment, but I am hungry.

Drinking: Sam’s Cola (or, at least, nursing the last sip in the bottom of the can)

I’m about to: Hack Disney Heroes: Battle Mode again.

Waiting: For nothing, at the moment.

Want: Pecan pie.

Get married: I don’t think anybody would marry me, but... maybe...

Career: I wanna be a singer and voice actor.

Which is better?

Hugs or kisses: I like both, but hugs are ideal ‘cause I don’t know how to kiss.

Lips or eyes: Eyes! Though, lips are pretty, too.

Short or tall: Both are good, but I’m always shorter than most folk due to the fact I’m below 5ft.

Older or younger: In terms of romance, I’m fine with either as long as they’re still within my age range. In terms of platonically, I don’t care how old or young they are. I’ve got friends under 13 and friends over 30.

Nice stomach or stomach: I’m afraid I’m not following. What’s this about? Tummy size? Big tum or little tum? I don’t care how big someone’s tum-tum is, if that’s what this means.

Hookup or relationship: Relationship, preferably. Hook-ups can be messy and end in broken hearts for both parties. They’re sloppy.

Troublemaker or hesitant: I don’t like making or getting into trouble, so I try to avoid it. However, if I need to step in and sort something out, I will.

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger: Nope!

Drank hard liquor: Nope, still can’t drink.

Lost glasses: Once or twice.

Turned someone down: Yes, a few times.

Sex on a first date: I’m a virgin.

Broke someone’s heart: I would hope not.

Had your heart broken: Multiple times.

Been arrested: Nope, I’m a good boy.

Cried when someone died: A lot of times...

Fallen for a friend: Yep, and now I’m dating them!

Do you believe in…

Yourself: It depends. I do, sometimes.

Miracles: Absolutely.

Love at first sight: Love takes time, and love takes work. Most cases of “love at first sight” are superficial and depend heavily on things such as looks and mannerisms. In order to determine how strongly you feel about a person, you need to get to know them on a face-to-face personal basis.

Santa Claus: I don’t celebrate Christmas.

Kissing on the first date: It really depends, but most of the time, no.

Angels: I don’t believe in angels in the traditional sense, but I believe everybody is an angel in their own right, and that guardian angels do exist. They may not be white-robed winged messengers, but they can be anybody. Your best friend, your loving mother, your loyal pet -- you, even. The world is filled with angels.

Other

Best friend’s name: Weegie!

Eye color: Blue

Fave movie: Wreck-It Ralph, Little Shop of Horrors, Ghostbusters, Super Mario Bros., the multiple Super Mario anime(s).

Fave actor: Most of the folks who acted in 30 Rock and Wreck-It Ralph! Primarily John C. Reilly, Jane Lynch, Sarah Silverman and Jack McBrayer.

Tagging: If you’re reading this and want to do it yourself, feel free to nab it from me!