#can someone message me with what I missed

[alchemistc]

@liminalmemories21 - this isn't exactly what you asked for but:

Abby C. 8:51 PM: So how'd it go? With the talking?

Buck stares at the message. Stares at the milk frother sitting in his counter, and the candlesticks he'd really considered dropping off the side of his upper balcony, ten minutes ago. (He's a firefighter, he knows how that ends. But, like. Still)

Bad, he texts back. So bad. But he also won't give me my sweatshirt back and I know he has it. Any sage advice?

It's a little weird to be texting her. She'd been one of the first people he'd ever talked to consistently on the phone, and he'd grown to enjoy it, grown to appreciate that voice in his ear.

Abby texts back immediately: I'm not entirely sure I know what that means. He actually LIKED you.

Buck can feel the buzzing under his skin, the rush of adrenaline at remembering Tommy not only not denying he'd loved Buck, but admitting off-hand that he still did.

It means I'm getting my man back, Buck sends, and then stares at the slippers he can see poking out from the right side of the bed.

His phone rings.

"You know," Abby starts, before Buck can so much as greet her. "I spent a long time beating myself up for not seeing this as a sign, but that's not the point."

"What... is the point?"

Abby chuckles. She sounds good. Happy. Buck is far enough removed from it to feel glad for her, and jealous of her, and then he's rolling right back around to being fucking livid that Abby and Tommy had both run. Different reasons, same result. A first of Buck's that'd just walked away.

"He used to watch movies with my mom constantly. All the terrible schlock that I couldn't stand - Hallmark movies, and D-Lister rom coms, all those trite based on true events Lifetime shows."

Buck nods. Waits for her to continue.

She doesn't.

"I'm not picking up what you're dropping down."

"He and my mom would just critique them all the way through. Just tear them to shreds. What was unrealistic, what was just plain stupid. She - mom was never more lucid than when she and Tommy were bemoaning the lack of reality in those movies."

"Listen, I already know asking him to move in with me was a dumb idea. I'm the himbo, remember?"

Abby pauses. "...that's what he called you?"

"Apparently all your mutual friends did."

Abby sighs. "The point is, Buck. They liked watching them because they liked talking about what real relationships were actually like. What happened after a curtain close kiss, how much a couple was gonna fight over the financial sustainability of a Christmas themed donut shop, what the fiance that got left behind in the big city was gonna do now that they were finally free of the person who'd spent the holiday season losing their entire brains. Tommy's a realist. He wants to be stopped before he gets on the plane, but he wants to be stopped because you already have a ten step plan to make things work. And he's terrified of giving too much of himself away to someone who thinks he shits rainbows and puppies and hasn't reckoned with the fact that he's just as screwed up as the rest of us."

"You swear more than I remember."

Abby laughs. " But you see my point?"

Buck doesn't want to. But he does. "Well, I definitely don't think he's perfect anymore."

"And you still love him." She says it like she knows. She says it like she'd once expected to spend a life with Tommy Kinard.

"And I still love him," Buck acknowledges, and they both drift into silence. It's comfortable. Easy. He sort of misses being able to talk to her about shit like this.

"Call me if you need anything, Buck."

Buck hangs up the phone with a million new, vaguely more hopeful thoughts swirling around in his brain.

Twenty minutes later he texts her one more time: This is the only sex thing you're getting from me - that thing he does with your nipples? What the fuck?

Abby C. 9:22 PM: I taught him that. You're welcome.

Tommy ignores the knock at his door. He's in day three pajamas and the only person who might make the effort to check in on him is his exes best friend. Which.

The knocking continues.

It's getting louder.

There's a Kings game on in the background and he's been elbow deep in the Jeep manual he'd finally cracked open in some sort of weird, fucked up pattern of mourning.

Tommy's never gonna buy a fucking Jeep. He hates them. You own one for more than five years and more than half the parts are replacement parts.

He's been staring at a diagram of the timing belt for half an hour, at least. The last thing he remembers about the game is Kuemper letting in three goals on five shots and somehow the Kings are up two, now, and there's still 25 minutes of game time left.

Tommy reaches for the remote. Turns the volume up.

The knocking returns less than a minute later.

---

There's a box of odds and ends tucked under the table in his entryway. He avoids looking at it. He knows there are a few things missing from it and he really doesn't want to examine what he'll have to do to avoid giving it to Eddie tonight. He cut the cords, he shouldn't be lingering watching the frayed edges sway in the wind, clutching his line like there's anything braced on the other side of it.

Evan's oldest, softest LAFD hoodie, the one that's technically too small for both of them but has stretched shockingly evenly and is definitely not sitting unwashed at the bottom of Tommy's laundry basket. The program from a recital of Denny's they'd stopped by to support him for, on their way out of town for a long weekend. Evan's stupid keto bread and the milk frother he'd left behind three months ago and never bothered to grab because he had more than one.

Whoever is at his door is still fucking knocking, and suddenly Tommy doesn't feel like being polite. He'll shove the box in Eddie's arms and tell him to fuck off and close the last few remaining open doors he has to this.

Only when he swings the door wide it's not Eddie on the other side, and the box nearly takes out whatever Evan - Buck, Jesus Christ - has in his own arms.

Not a Tommy box - too small for all the shit that he'd left behind. He misses the house slippers that had had a permanent spot tucked under the left side of the bed.

Tommy flinches, reels away, tries to shove the box away before Buck can see its contents.

"What are you doing here?" Even tone. No quiver in his voice. He's been called rude and dismissive for less.

Buck scowls. Hefts the rectangular dish in his hands and shoves past Tommy before Tommy can blink.

It's silly to say he chases after him, down the hallway towards the kitchen, but he's not exactly following along behind at a casual leisurely pace.

The glass pan slams down on his kitchen counter and Buck spends a minute staring at the calendar he was only getting two months out of because he couldn't look at the one with all Buck's notes penned in anymore.

"Wow," Buck says, and shifts his weight awkwardly.

"What are you -?"

"Jee and I made you birthday cupcakes," Buck says. His voice is hard. Angry. Hurt. "Happy birthday, asshole."

---

He cracks the lid and there are only three cupcakes inside. Tommy forgets himself. Raises a brow, amusement rolling over him pleasantly, prepared to tease him, but then he catches the set of Buck's legs and the curl of his mouth and the tight way his arm tucks itself back in against his belly, a protective gesture that reminds Tommy very effectively what this is.

"Why?" Tommy wonders aloud, and Evan's scowl deepens.

Buck's scowl.

God.

"We've been planning it for weeks." Something flashes across his eyes before he schools his features. "Jee made me promise to bring you some."

"She must not be a skilled baker," Tommy jokes. "If these are the only ones that made it."

Evan's expression twists. "I ate most of them."

The frosting looks fresh. No creases in the paper cup holding them together.

"I had to make a new batch of frosting because I used some of it for -." He cuts himself off. Looks like he'd like to throw it in Tommy's face but can't quite force himself to hurt Tommy.

It hurts as much as he'd expected, anyway.

The world is a small place. It's not the first time he's had to speak to an ex when he didn't want to. It's never pleasant.

This is worse. The cut and run is supposed to give him time.

Evan Buckley has been an ache behind his ribcage for months, now, long before he'd made that final decision. He'd known it was too little too late. Buck's gonna be the shadow other men see behind his eyes for years.

Buck's apparently found and slept with someone within the week and a half span from Tommy walking out to his sad shitty mopey birthday.

That he'd forgotten about.

Tommy leans in. Picks up a cupcake. Licks a stripe through the frosting and makes a face when he realizes it's buttercream.

"The ones you were supposed to get had the whipped cream one you like," Buck says, accusingly.

That somehow stings just a little bit extra.

Tommy pulls back the paper, takes a bite. There's raspberry filling inside, and Tommy can feel tears prickling at the edges of his eyes, because when he'd told Evan about how his grandma baked he'd been thinking of Evan being a grandparent, the kind of shit he'd forbidden himself from imagining with anyone he was dating years ago.

"Thank you," he manages, and Buck frowns.

"He thought the whipped cream was too sweet." And Tommy probably deserves this but he's not particularly in the mood.

"Cut it out, Buck."

Buck rolls his jaw. "I just figured you'd wanna know how it's going. Maybe I could tally up the hookups for you, count them all up by gender and stamina and opinions on how I should feel and act and fall for someone. Find out if I'm actually gay enough to be a man's last."

---

The rest of the cupcake kind of collapses and oozes as Tommy smacks it down on the counter. He takes thirty seconds to pull the other two cupcakes out before he's grabbing the too-large fake Pyrex and turning heel. The keto bread goes in the pan. Then the milk frother.

Tommy yanks the recital program off the fridge and tosses it in the trash.

Buck almost looks triumphant.

"The box under the side table has the rest. You can see yourself out."

He actually does exactly as he's told, and Tommy listens to his footsteps drift off, shoulders hunched in and the breath tight in his throat. He'd been cruel, it was only fair Buck got a few final kicks in.

Tommy sucks in a breath and blinks away the moisture at the edges of his vision.

The footsteps take a heel turn at the side table and turn right back around.

"This isn't everything."

Tommy half expects some panned comment about how Tommy's got his heart - the kind of silly shit he'd say to a dead outlaw.

"My sweatshirt," Buck says, and Tommy freezes.

He could lie. He could pretend he had no idea where it was. Claim he didn't remember it even being here, because that particular piece of clothing did have a tendency to travel.

He doesn't fucking want to hand that one over.

Buck smirks, like he's caught the crack, and is looking for ways to exploit it.

"I own my own house!" Tommy says, and it's a terrible launching point but Buck latches on.

"You just left, Tommy! I know I jumped the gun, Tommy, but you didn't even - you just left! I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry I didn't know I was into men until you. I'm sorry you had to be my first, I'm sure that must have been such a burden for you."

"That's not fair."

"You didn't even give me a chance. That was - I'm so angry with you, Tommy. I'm so fucking mad."

"I know."

"But that's what you planned for, right? That's - you ripped the bandaid, Tommy, except there's a whole fucking untreated stab wound right underneath and it's still bleeding, Tommy."

"Did you even make this round of cupcakes with your niece?" It's better to keep his family's names out of his mouth. Just keep those ties cut.

Buck looks livid. "No, you idiot, I whipped up a tiny batch of this recipe just for the excuse to see you and - and tell you what a stupid, awful coward you are."

"That's not f-." He isn't sure whether Buck is being facetious about the small batch thing or not. He doesn't have any time to think about it.

"My sister and Chim are having another baby. Bobby and Athena are probably gonna host Christmas this year. Eddie shaved off the mustache and he's, like, dancing now, I guess. Hen and Karen are good for the first time in -." He shakes his head. Stares at Tommy. Tommy can't quite hide from that gaze. "We were good, Tommy. We were - you loved me."

He'd never said the words. Neither had Evan, but they'd both known. Both felt it. Tommy let it go too far, did it scared for longer than he usually would.

"It's not like that just went away when I walked out, Evan," Tommy hisses, and then regrets it immediately.

Evan has spent most of this visit pushing, pressing, digging fingers into the wound to make it hurt.

Evan goes silent now, reeling back a little. He seems shocked that Tommy had admitted it.

"I want you to go," Tommy says. "I need you to go, Buck."

It was the right dagger the first time, but apparently it's only effective once.

"I love you too, you know." His voice is soft. Tommy can't meet his eye. "And I hate you. I hate you even though I know that's what you wanted but I love you too much to not hate you out of spite."

Tommy knows if he caves it's done. He's signing himself over to whatever fucked thing will end them a week, a month, five years, two decades from now.

"Go home, Buck. Hate me there."

---

He goes in for the kill.

"I called Abby, two nights ago."

Right for the jugular. No survivors.

"She laughed for like twenty minutes, and then she tried to get me to chat about our sex life for comparison, and then she was shocked silent for a full minute when I wouldn't." Because Evan had always been a little too open about those details. "She also told me she forgave you but she doesn't think you ever forgave yourself."

Tommy agrees. For all that they'd been terrible for each other, they'd known how the hell to take care of one another like no one's business.

"I want you to go," Tommy says, steady, quiet, nearly a snark for how deep his voice goes to hide the tremor in it.

Buck cocks a hip against the doorframe. "I want my sweatshirt."

The breath that escapes him is shaky, but her think he hides most of it behind the hand over his face, the finger pinched at the bridge of his nose.

"I can't do this."

"Exactly how many men and women do I have to fuck before you believe the future I'm looking at is with you?"

"All of them! None! It was a stupid thing to say and it's not what I meant and I can't do this."

Buck spins on his heel. Grabs the box he'd set aside and hefts it up into his arms. "I'm coming back for my sweatshirt," he says. "You let me know whether you want to talk about the data points of the sexuality spreadsheet or about us."

"There is no us, Buck." His voice sounds defeated even to himself.

"If that was true you'd just give me the stupid sweater and be done."

Tommy sits in silence. He does not get up to retrieve the hoodie. Buck is still angry, but his smile is wide and bashful.

Tommy listens to his footsteps trail down the hall, towards the door, out of it. He hears the Jeep's ignition catch, the wheels roll off the drive.

He realizes he'd left the goddamn Jeep manual open on the timing belt page, right there on his side table where he'd pointed out the things he wanted Evan to take to clear him from his life.

---

There is someone knocking at his door.

Tommy doesn't quite ignore it.

He hid the sweatshirt in one of his toolbox drawers when Evan texted him this morning to let him know he'd be over with a six pack and a pot of chili.

There's a zero percent chance Evan's getting that sweatshirt back, tonight.

[moosesarecute]

Day 3: Belonging

@azrielappreciationweek

Azriel loved his family.

He loved his mother, but rarely saw her. He refused to bring her any danger when he knew she couldn’t protect herself.

He loved his brothers. Even though he has had different arguments with both of them lately, he loved them.

He loved Amren, Mor, Feyre, Elain and Nesta.

His entire family gave him joy.

But he was missing someone. Someone that was just his. His mother had never been able to raise him. Rhys and Cass were friends before he came along. Rhys’ mother was exactly that, Rhys’. Mor chose Cass and all the Archeron sisters had mates that wasn’t him.

He was always the second choice.

He knew they loved him back and did their best to include him, but they would never prioritize him over their mates. And he understood that, but it wasn’t enough.

He needed to be the first choice.

That’s why he loved you more than anything and also why he chose to keep you a secret.

He knew his family would never take you away from him, but he hated the thought of even sharing the amazing relationship the two of you had with others.

You had now been dating for two years. And it was the two most amazing years of his life.

If he had a bad day, you were there to hold him. If he had a good day, you were there to be happy with him. And if he had a normal day, you were there to make it perfect.

He had lost count of the days he had come home to a freshly cooked dinner and your smiling face.

You loved to cook in your free time and even though Azriel often urged you to let him help you in the kitchen, the answer was always the same: ���I love to cook, Az. It’s my way of unwinding.”

So he let you have the cooking and he did the dishes. It worked for the two of you.

“Are you even listening?” Rhysand asked him.

Mission, Illyria, two weeks, female training

Thank the mother for his shadows.

“You want me to spend two weeks in Illyria making sure the females are training,” he answered with a neutral tone. “I listen, but isn’t this more of Cassian’s expertise?”

He did not want to leave you for two weeks. In only one week was your two years anniversary and he had planned something special.

“Cassian is going on the same mission, but he’s taking half the camps and you’re taking the other half,” Rhys explained. “Spending a month every time we have to make sure the females are training isn’t going to work, so we are trying this solution.”

He only nodded.

Even though he hated to miss your anniversary, he just couldn’t let Rhys know about you just yet.

“Thank you, Az,” Rhys answered. “Can you start tomorrow?”

It had been two weeks without Azriel. A week since your anniversary. And even though you knew why he wanted to keep you a secret, you still hated the fact that you were alone on your anniversary.

So to say you were excited for him to return was an understatement.

You were almost blooming in happiness. You had made his favorite dinner and dessert and made sure the food was ready for nine o’clock. He said he would be back at nine o’clock.

But then it turned nine fifteen and then half past nine and then ten and then eleven.

You knew Azriel well enough to know that he would have let you know if he knew he would be late.

But you had gotten no message.

So you started pacing.

And cleaning.

You ate without him. You read your book. You knitted. And you took a bath.

And finally, at three o’clock in the morning, you heard the door to your house close.

You basically ran towards the front door and were immediately met by a wall of shadows.

They embraced you, looked over your entire body for injuries and pulled you towards their master.

“Az?” You asked carefully.

“I’m sorry for coming home so late,” he answered with a tired voice.

The shadows had now pulled you so that you stood only half a meter away from Azriel.

His leathers were ripped and his head was heavy.

“What happened?” You asked him with a gasp.

Before he could answer you had already slipped on your shoes and started dragging him out the door.

“Y/N,” he said and tried to hold you back. “I’m fine.”

You stopped in your tracks.

“Az,” you started with a sigh. “Love, you can’t even stop me, a female half your size, from dragging you to the clinic. I think we both know you’re not fine.”

He let you win the argument and went along to the clinic. He walked worriedly slow and every now and then he let out a painful whimper. He even had difficulties holding his wings up from the ground.

You had just gotten to the clinic and sat down in the examination room, when you felt his hand go limp and looked up to see his eyes closed.

“Az?” You asked and shook him carefully. He gave no reaction.

You didn’t even think before you ran out of the room and found the closest healer.

Three healers rushed into his room and started working. They healed many small wounds and a bigger one on his back, before they bandaged some of the deeper ones.

You couldn’t look away from his face. He looked so peaceful, it felt so wrong knowing he was harmed.

“He’ll be okay,” one of the healers said to you. “You’re Y/N, right?”

You looked up at the healer from the chair you sat in. She knew about you? You didn’t think Azriel had told anyone about you.

“He usually asks for you right after waking up,” she told you as an answer to your confusion. “I’ll have to contact the High Lord. He’ll want to know his shadowsinger is safe.”

You nodded at the healer and spent as long time as possible beside Azriel, holding his hand and cuddling his hair, before you went back home, alone.

If he needed you to be a secret, you would be.

Azriel woke with a deep breath.

“Y/N?” He asked aloud with a groggy voice.

“Az?”

He couldn’t hold back the disappointment in hearing his brother’s voice and not yours.

He opened his eyes and was met with both of his brothers nervous stares.

Rhys handed him a glas of water and Cassian helped him sit up, even though he didn’t need help.

“You scared us there, Az,” Rhys said. “You had poison in your blood.”

Even though he heard Rhys’ words, he simply couldn’t understand what he was talking about.

The only thing he remembered was shadow walking home to you. He remembered making sure you were okay and that you dragged him to the clinic without even a hug or kiss.

But where were you now?

Y/N?

Home, safe, worried

His shadows saved him from going mad from worry.

“Az?” Cassian’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked over to his brother. “Who’s Y/N?”

Azriel struggled to not show his surprise and confusion. How did he know about you?

“You’ve been muttering that name in your sleep,” Rhys explained and Azriel understood that they already knew who you are. “We’re sorry if you haven’t felt like you could tell us.”

“Yeah,” Cassian agreed. “We haven’t been prioritizing you and we’ve hated ourselves for it. Hope you can forgive us and let us have a new chance.”

Azriel didn’t know how to respond. He felt seen and understood. It felt nice. He felt ready even though he dreaded having to explain his feelings.

“Y/N is my girlfriend,” he started to explain. “We’ve been together for two years now and I didn’t want anyone to know because-“

“We understand Az,” Rhys interrupted him. “You wanted her for yourself. You don’t need to explain unless you want to.”

Relief grew from his body.

But he knew he wouldn’t feel okay until you were in his arms.

“Can one of you maybe get Y/N and bringer her here?” He asked carefully.

“Where is she?” Cassian asked as he jumped up from his chair and got ready to leave.

You woke from a knock at your door. It had been a long and anxious night not knowing how Azriel’s doing and you hadn’t realized you fell asleep.

Another knock made you sit up in the couch.

You knew it wasn’t Azriel, he had stopped knocking ages ago.

But you had a good feeling and went to open the door anyway.

“Hello,” a large illyrian male you realized had to be Cassian said.

“Hello?” You answered confused.

“There’s an awake shadowsinger that really wants you to come visit him.”

You had to hold back a squeal when you realized Azriel had told his family about you. And you immediately got ready to go to the clinic.

Cassian walked in front of you into the room and then pulled the High Lord out so that you and Azriel could be alone. It was absurd.

“Hi,” Azriel said.

His voice made you melt a little and you rushed towards him to give him a hug and kisses.

“Don’t ever do that again,” you said as you kissed his entire face. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” Azriel answered and moved to embrace you as well. “You know I’ll always come home to you, right?”

You nodded into his chest.

“I don’t like being away from you,” you whispered. “I think we belong together.”

Shadow started playing with your hair as Azriel became more and more relaxed.

“I know we do.”

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[butterflyslinky]

It's been seven months. They've seen each other on calls, but they keep up a mask of stiff professionalism if they have to talk at all.

But now Buck's sitting in a gay bar, looking for some fun the same way he does on every 48 off. His expectations are low. No one seems to want a real relationship, not that he's really trying for one, ad the sex is mediocre at best.

Because none of them are Tommy.

He's two drinks in when he hears a familiar laugh and turns. There's Tommy, sitting four stools down and talking to the bartender. Buck wonders how he missed him entering the bar, but it doesn't matter. What matters is Tommy is here, so close, and Buck...

Okay, he'd jumped the gun asking Tommy to move in. And everything he's said before that had been...not great. Thinking about it, it's no wonder Tommy had hit the brakes. Though he maybe could have asked to just take a break instead of ending it completely.

Though it would have gone the same way, probably.

Buck knocks back his last drink and stands. He's steady on his feet as he makes his way down the bar and plops himself into the empty seat next to Tommy

Tommy doesn't look shocked to see him. Not happy, either. Just kind of resigned. "Buck?"

"Don't," Buck says. "I don't want..." He grits his teeth to force back tears. "I think we need to talk."

"Why?" Tommy asks.

"Because I have things to say to you," Buck says. "And I'm not going to let you just walk out again."

He's said all those things, in texts that sat unanswered, voice messages that were probably deleted without being heard. This time, he wants to make sure Tommy hears.

"I don't have a lot of time tonight," Tommy says.

"Then I'll say it fast. You broke my heart, Tommy. You said you were my first but not my last...but you weren't my first. I've dated and broken up before, I know what relationships are. Just cause you're a dude doesn't mean it was any different. As to not being my last, well, I've had plenty in the last seven months and none of them are going to be my anything. I told you they can be the same thing, and I mean it. I don't want to be in love with anyone the way I'm in love with you."

"Evan..."

"And if you don't want me, fine, but just say that instead of giving me some bullshit about not wanting your heart broken. Because I can't break your heart, Tommy. Maybe it's been seven months, but I'm still in love with you, and I don't see that changing any time soon." Evan looks down for a moment. "So...I know I'm a lot. I know I said some dumb shit. And I know there's a lot I still don't know. But I do know I want you to come home with me, and you don't have to stay, but...I want to try again. Now that I know a little more."

Tommy's eyes are bright when Buck looks up. "I can't."

"What?"

"Evan, I can't come with you tonight. Or any night."

Buck's stomach sinks. "Is there someone else?"

"No," Tommy says. "No, just...I got a new job. In Seattle...they offered me a command. A chance to be captain...don't get much more brave and trailblazing than that, do you, being an openly gay fire captain." He swallows hard. "I'm leaving on Monday."

Buck stares. The world seems to be tilting, even though he hasn't had that much to drink. "Oh."

"I thought you would have heard," Tommy says. "It's been kind of big news around the department."

"Everyone's been extra delicate with me," Buck says. "They don't talk about you where they think I can hear." He forces a smile. "Congratulations...you deserve it."

"Yeah?" Tommy says.

"Yeah. I'm happy for you." Buck waves to the bartender. "Put his drinks on my tab."

"Evan..."

"Least I can do. Since...since it's really over."

Tommy nods, but he looks sad. "Yeah," he says. "I guess I can just...start again. And I guess you can, too."

"Yeah," Buck says. "I guess I can."

--------------

It's a stupid idea, but Buck's full of those. He knows that it'll probably end in disaster, that he'll end up crawling back with his tail between his legs again.

But he has to try.

The airport looks just the same as it had when he dropped Abby off all those years ago. The same was it had been when he'd watched her walk out of his life, only to be seen again when it was unavoidable.

He's not doing that now.

Tommy is easy to spot, in spite of the crowd, standing in the check-in line. Buck thinks it must be kismet, that he's on time. There had been several flights to Seattle today, and he just took his best shot.

"Tommy!"

Tommy turns, and his brow furrows when he sees Buck. "Evan?"

Buck pushes his way through the crown, suitcase heavy in his hand, until he reaches Tommy's side. Tommy looks him over, then down at the bag. "Evan, what..."

"I know you said it's over," Buck says. "And that you don't want to try this again. And if you tell me to leave right now, I will. But I couldn't take the chance that I'd never see you again, even if you don't want to be in my life. And don't worry about work, Bobby transferred me to a different station than the one you're commanding, and I have a place to stay until I can find an apartment, and I'll get a new car since I gave the Jeep back to Maddie, but..."

"Evan," Tommy interrupts. "Did you just upend your life to follow me to Seattle?"

"Yes," Evan says. "If you'll let me."

Tommy stares for a minute before he pulls Buck into a kiss. And this time, Buck really knows it will be forever.

[chewnotchoke]

only us who knows - leehan

synopsis: you havent seen your boyfriend, leehan, in a while so you decided to surprise him in his fansign and he tries his best not to be obvious infront of everyone else

got inspired from this leehan vid

warnings: secret relationship, fluff, idol!leehan x non-idol!reader

wc: 781

more under the cut!

video calls and late-night messages were never quite enough. nothing could ever be as great as having your boyfriend beside you; it’s been two months since you last saw each other. your heart has been torn between the joy of his success and the loneliness of his absence over the months apart, and the pain has been constant. despite all, your love remained the same.

but tonight, you are now standing in line for their fan sign in japan. you had to fly over for a few hours just to see him again, and leehan knows nothing about it. you’re standing there like everyone else, your hands sweaty, your heart racing, even though you've touched his hand a hundred times. seeing him welcome each fan with that bright smile you know so well makes it feel unreal, like a strange combination of tension and excitement. if feels weird to be here, publicly supporting him like everyone else, even though you've been keeping your relationship with him a secret.

with each step, the line moves closer, and your heart beats more loudly. in the hopes that he won't notice you until the last minute, you keep your head down. you can already imagine his reaction: his breathless laughter, his wide-eyed shock, and his usual way of reaching for your hand, as though he finds it hard to believe you're real.

taesan was seated first, followed by sungho, jaehyun, riwoo, leehan, and then woonhak. right before it was your turn to interact with jaehyun, leehan’s eyes found yours across the room, and his face broke into the most genuine, unguarded smile, the kind he usually saves just for you. you could tell that he could not contain his excitement anymore and he started finding it hard to focus on the fan in front of him. he tried to contain it, molding his features into a more controlled smile, but you could see the sparkle in his eyes, the barely-contained excitement. leehan can’t hide it from you, not even if he tried.

and then, it’s your turn.

leehan’s face breaks into a more radiant smile, and he practically bounces in his chair. you furrow your eyebrows worriedly and your eyes try to tell him not to be so obvious. he clears his throat and says in his usual fan sign tone, “thank you for coming to see me.” but, his voice has a warmth and tenderness meant for you, and his eyes tell a different story, hinting at all the words he can’t say here. the two of you softly chuckles. he squeezes your hand, his thumb grazing your fingers in a way that, after all this time away, feels both exhilarating and natural. “i couldn’t wait any longer.” you said.

he kept squeezing your hand gently, as if to say “i’ve missed you, too.”

but he breathes, almost like a whisper, “i missed you.” and you become wary of your surroundings, worried someone must have heard him because leehan was not bothered to be worrying about anyone hearing what he just said. because to be honest, he will scream how much he misses you in front of everyone else if he could. he then slides his other hand under the table, giving your knee a reassuring squeeze.

his eyes hold yours, and then his look fell into every feature you have on your face, glistening with that comforting warmth, and you know he’s struggling to hold back. “can’t i just stand there and hug you? i don’t think holding hands is enough.”

his eyes lingered on your lips.

one thing about leehan when he’s restrained from doing something he wants, he becomes insufferable. “careful, a lot of people are watching.” you whisper, trying to remind him of where you both are. he tries to regain his composure but can’t help but lean in a little closer than necessary. he laughs softly and shakes his head, his eyes dancing with mischief. "you make it hard for me to be professional."

right when the staff asks you it’s almost time to move, leehan’s touch which was once so subtle now felt like he didn’t want to let go. the warmth in his eyes is becoming unmistakable and the fans are starting to notice. before you’re ushered to move along, he scribbles something on one of the pages in the album. even as you walk away, you feel his gaze following you and then he mouths something only you could understand and feel.

“i love you.”

after you are done with the fan sign, you flip through the pages of the album and see his writing: let’s meet at our hotel later. it’s my turn to surprise you.



[chiorisgf]

❕nsfw childe x f!reader

summary : his dear siblings were in need of a babysitter, and he wasn’t informed.

tartaglia, or, ajax — was ecstatic to be back home! his warm smile could almost melt the snow around him as his boots clicked against the icy sidewalk. snezhnaya has always been cold, he hopes his dear little siblings were warm at home! what about his parents, he wonders.

as he step foot onto his front porch, he couldn’t help but eye the smaller footsteps in the snow of his backyard. visiter, perhaps?

he shrugged it off, knocking on the door. he always enjoyed the smile of his family whenever they’d open the door, expecting a mailman or someone else — only to be surprised when the face of their beloved ajax appeared.

he could almost see it now, they’ll all be so happy!

just as he was in the middle of a happy little daydream, the door opened.

“hey every! — one,” he blinks at your figure, his eyebrows furrowing as he looks down at you. “and who might you be?” he raises an eyebrow, his bright blue eyes glaring down at you with coldness almost as unforgiving as the harsh weather outside.

“o-oh, you must be—“

“brother!” little teucer squeals excitedly, running quickly towards the taller man as two other children emerge, peeking over your body.

“their older brother.” you smile, gently urging his younger sister and brother to greet him.

as he bent over and hugged the young kids, he couldn’t help but eye you as you walked away from the group, choosing to give them some privacy.

after a few moments of hugs and smiles, the younger children pulled their older brother inside into the warmth of his home.

oh, how he missed this place.

“this is name, she’s our babysitter!” tonia smiled, walking over to you and grabbing at your hand gently. “she’s really nice, come say hi to her!”

tonia was the sweetest, she almost reminded you of yourself when you were her age. she was well behaved, and a good cook aswell.

“hello.” you smile shyly at the man in front of you, offering a small wave.

he simply nodded his head with a tight lipped smile, before turning back to his siblings, tonia giving you a cute little giggle before rushing back to the others.

they’re so adorable, you think, turning away from them to finish the dinner you had made. it was fortunate you made extra, that leaves some for.. ajax, was it?

by the time you were done, tonia was already by your side, helping you hold the plates.

“oh, my brother likes this!” she smiles, before looking up at you. “you two are gonna get along so well, i can already see it!”

if she had to admit, she really wanted you and her brother to become friends. you’re so kind, how could he not like you?! she thinks.

“that’s so sweet of you, tonia.” you smile, patting her head gently before picking up the pot of soup, being careful not to burn your slender fingers. “but i really should be going when we’re done setting the table, seeing as your older brother is home.”

you don’t miss the way her smile drops at your words, and a pant of guilt stabs at your heart. you feel sorry, you really do, but you can’t help but sense that the man doesn’t like you.

you’re not the only one who noticed tonia’s expression, childe did aswell. he can’t help but frown as he watches his dear sister walk into the dining room, holding a few bowls in her delicate hands.

as she busies herself with setting the table, he walks over to you, who’s carefully walking to follow the younger girl.

“hey,” he stares down at you, his face hardening as he watches you flinch slightly and stumble to keep a good hold on the hot pot in your grasp.

“c-can i help you?” you ask with a slight gulp, nervousness washing over you as he steps closer to you.

“would you like to tell me where are my parents are? ” he frowns, eyes narrowing. you were quite suspicious, if he was being honest. he got no letters for message from his parents warning him about a babysitter — but you seemed to make his siblings happy, so he won’t complain too much. “or would you prefer for me to throw you out into the snow right now?”

“they’re out on a trip—!” you stutter, the air around you growing colder as his expression dulls. “please— please don’t do that. i was going to leave, anyways.” you say, fingers twitching slightly against the handles of the pot.

ajax glanced down at the soup in your hands, before looking back up at you. “i’ll get the dinner table ready, and you go to my room, it’s the one next to my parent’s room. i’ll be there after in a little while.” he says curtly, taking the pot from your hands and returning to the dining room, smiling as the children greet him.

you can’t help but sweat nervously as you walk towards his room, what does he want? is he really going to throw you out into the cold?! maybe you should wear a jacket. or should you just run away?

well, it’s too late now, you think as your trembling hand holds onto the doorknob and slowly turns it. the door opens, and his room is revealed.

it’s not, plan, but it’s definitely not very decorated. there’s no time to dwell on that, though — the sound of his heavy footsteps echo through the hallway and it seems that your heart has begun to beat faster.

you quickly shut yourself in his room, eyes darting around as you begin tremble.

he’s getting closer, you can hear him. is this really it? you’re going to die because you needed money?

“name, was it?” his voice sounds from behind the door, it’s low, and almost attractive. “i’m coming in.” he says, slowly cracking the door open and peering inside.

you look back at the man, eyes slightly wide and you really can’t stop the shaking. how humiliating, you think!

he steps inside, before shutting the door behind him and locking it with a soft ‘click’

“so,” he starts, inching closer to you. “my family seem to love you.” he hums, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “and i have to admit, you are quite cute.” ajax grins, his warm breath fanning over your skin.

you freeze, warmth creeping up your neck. “especially when you’re scared.” he pokes at your chest, leaning back. “like a terrified mouse.”

your eyes meet his and he simply smiles. has he always been this hot? and what’s with the change of attitude?

“you know, teucer, tonia and anthon have talked about you a lot. they say you’re really sweet,” he purrs, stepping in front of you.

you take a step back, and away from him, only for him to step forward again. you back away from him as he moves closer until your knees stop at a bed — his bed, and you fall onto it.

it’s not long before his hand is beside your head, and he leans down with a teasing smile. “do you think that’s true? i wanna see just how sweet you really are.”

you hate how he’s getting to you — the warmth of his breath tickling the side of your neck as his lips grow closer. you’re supposed to be scared, so scared! but how can you be scared when his free hand is gently smoothing down your clothes.

teucer was right, ajax really is sweet — even if he can be scarily overprotective.

“okay,” you whisper, your head turning to the side slightly as you feel embarrassment flush over your features. why did you let yourself get into this situation?

his lips connect with your neck, ajax’s hands trailing down your body before he hooks a finger around the waistband of your pants.

he slowly tugs them down, smirking slightly as he notices your flustered expression. a finger pulls your panties down soon after, and he swears he’s gonna start drooling.

in a few moment his pants are pooled at the floor, his boxers following as his hardening cock springs free, pre forming at the tip.

“now, be quiet for me.” he whispers, a hand cupping your cheek as the other guides his cock to your entrance. he’s sure your little hole can take him, considering how wet you are.

each inch you took was painful at first, soft sounds escaping your lips as you squirm against his hold; but when he’s fully sheathed you can’t help but squeal. you’re so full, and it feels so good when he moves like that.

his first few thrusts are slow, but when the pain has fully shifted to pleasure he quickens his pace, the squelching sounds of your wet pussy being pounded bouncing off the walls of ajax’s room.

your cute little pussy was so good, and childe couldn’t help but moan, before leaning down and capturing your lips in a kiss, his hips snapping against yours.

something about you, childe thinks, is just so hot. so alluring.

maybe it’s the way you’re moaning so quietly into his ear, your breath brushing against his skin. the freezing temperature outside stood no chance against the warmth of your body, oh and that look in your eyes — he just can’t resist pecking you on the lips and thrusting particularly hard into your wet folds.

the way your gummy walls wrapped around his shaft and sucked him in was just so nasty, yet he couldn’t bring himself to care.

each hard stroke of his cock sent you into a frenzy of moans, and ajax had to place his palm on your mouth to keep you quiet. while he loved your sounds, he knows he shouldn’t let you get too loud; his siblings are only a few doors away after all.

“a-jax,” your voice is sugary, and the way you arch your back so far off the bed is practically knocking childe out. he can’t handle it — you’re so cute, so perfect!

he knows you’re close, he can tell by the way your hands are clutching onto him, your pussy hugging onto him so tightly. he can feel your breath tickle against his palm and at that moment he knows he’s going to invite you over more often.. to “babysit” his siblings.

yeah right, he thinks.

“you’re gonna— babysit our kids, that’s what.” he huffs breathlessly, his cock pounding into you tougher than before at his newfound idea.

“cum with me, angel.” he leans down to whisper in your ear, grinning when you nod obediently and just as you’re about to snap, he cums and he cums, letting you milk him dry as you come undone around him.

you’re such a good listener, such a good girl for him. with a few more thrusts, he finally stops his movements.

his warm palm slowly pulls away from your mouth to stroke your hair, and he can’t help but pull you onto his lap, sitting down on his bed.

it’s moments like these that he’s grown to enjoy, aswell. holding you on his lap and kissing your cheek, whispering encouraging words into your ears like moments ago.

“you’re not leaving tonight, you know that right? wouldn’t wanna disappoint my siblings..” he chuckles at your expression, offering one last kiss before tucking you into his bed.

[blamemma]

sorry for the grim vibes i brought to the dash this evening x

for whatever it's worth, i'll happily hold my hands up and apologise if my post felt pointed or aggressive. i'm sorry, if it made anyone sad or dismayed. like i said in that original, now deleted post, my feelings towards daniel have been complicated this past month. not going to get into the nitty gritty, but it's been weird no longer finding comfort in someone you once so easily used to find comfort within. i can't be here, because daniel doesn't bring me the joy i once felt. i see you all tagging new photos of him delightedly and i feel nothing. so maybe, me making that post was bitterness, retaliation, or idk what. but i do feel that way. i do feel like capitalism baby. but yeah, sorry for clicking post on that. because i acc don't wish for anyone to feel the way i do regarding daniel at the moment. what i do ask, is in the future, y'all act with nuance. don't react right away. it was kinda sad to see people i consider myself friends with, or friendly with at least, immediately go to bashing me. y'all could message me and go girl what kinda crazy take is that and i'd laugh. or go girl that's a little mean. kinda horrid to me just how quickly that all escalated. kinda horrid for me to look in my inbox and just see grim things. but i get it. i get it. it's calm it's cool. i'm gunna eat a sweet treat and be fine. and finally, i think maybe there was some misunderstanding when i said "we deserve something more". i know and respect that however hard we find this, daniel will find this much harder. we actually deserve nothing. he can take his time. 3 months 6 months 2 years whatever. or never. again, nuance missed by all, myself included. but yeah. idk. cool.

[merry-pitchmas]

Merry Pitchmas 2024

I know some of you are already putting up your holiday trees – yeah, you know who I’m talking to. Quit hiding in the pine needles. The season of giving is almost upon us, and you know what that means.

Welcome to the Ninth Annual Merry Pitchmas Gift Exchange!!

If you need a refresh on the rules, please check out this post from last year. Of course, the dates have changed to keep you on your toes.

Deadline to participate: November 30th, 4 pm CST US (10 pm UK). If you'd like to take part in the exchange this year, please reply to this post by then. You’ll get your draw shortly thereafter.

Here's the TL;DR for those of you who don't wanna check out the link:

TL;DR:

Reply to this post to take part. Reblogs will not be included.

November 30th (10 pm UK) is the cut off date to sign up.

Posting will begin on December 24th - not a day before! And you have to have your gift finished and posted NO LATER than December 31st.

You don’t need money to take part - just a dash of creativity and the drive to want to do something: manips, videos, fanfic, and comics are just a few examples of the things you can do!

All pairings are welcome, but I strongly encourage all participants to ANONYMOUSLY message the person they drew to ask questions about which they might prefer.

TURN ON YOUR ANONS. Your Secret Santa must have a way to contact you. If your anons aren’t no, you’ll be removed from the exchange. So please, even if you’re sure anon asks are already allowed, double check. If you’re not sure HOW to do that, Google is your friend.

If you change your name between now and the posting date, please send me a message to let me know. I will not be trying to track people down again this year.

Please don’t leave someone hanging. If you have no intention of doing anything and just want someone to do something for you, don’t reply. It’s not fair. (And I’m always looking for volunteers who will write for anyone who might get missed!)

Tag your posts with #merry pitchmas 2024.

HAVE FUN.

See you in a few, awesome nerds!

~Red

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

was watching my mum responding to text after text getting frustrated because she wanted to make lunch but people wouldn't stop texting her

and i was like just. ignore them? just ignore the texts? i will ignore texts for hours until i feel like responding sometimes it's fine?

anyway my dad called me shallow for that one lmaoooo

[bunnihearted]

🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

[triglycercule]

This is a question related to the mtt hobbies answer that you wrote, the murder trio go around the multiverse and live in a place together, then what happend to horrortale au and horrortale papyrus? If the murder trio got to meet horrortale papyrus how would it go? (The meeting propably wouldnt end well with more canon mtt haha)

aaaaa i dont think it through to be honest when i talk about that concept. they just do. maybe horrortale's issues are already solved and aliza's already gone through horrortale and somehow fixed the hellhole (ALIZA MY GOAT PLEASE SAVE HORRORTALE I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES 10 YEARS‼️‼️‼️) by the time that horror somehow meets dust and killer (since i dont see a feasible way that horrortale could be fixed outside of aliza or outside intervention.) or maybe he just visits from time to time. and by time to time i mean probably quarterly weekly. idk sorry i cant be bothered to think about it,,, they just do. anyways bad answer i KNOW I KNOW put the tomatoes down pls PLS

if the mtt met horror paps? horror would obviously do his little bantering thing with paps (he's probably revealing every single one of horror's embarrassing moments to them as they speak and horror's desperately trying to get him to shut up because he can tell. dust and killer are piiiiiiissed.) dust is probably like eerily calm during the whole thing. he manages to hold up a conversation pretty well with horror paps and gets along with him good enough without mentioning that theres a ghost version of him screaming asking why dust is ignoring phantom paps. meanwhile killer is mostly silent during it too probably only responding when he's spoken too. i mean like killer already doesn't like being around papyruses (papyri? papyri is so shitty i dont like it we will be saying papyruses) and then seeing horror's papyrus??? what the FUCK happened to horror paps??? sunken in eyes and cracks in his bones and those jagged teeth AND THEN THE FUCKING CROOKED SPAGHETTI????

needless to say once horror paps is gone all of them get into a biiiiig fight. dust drops the cool act because he's not gonna lose his cool around a papyrus but also he's absolutely fuming. he can tell that the changes that phantom papyrus has gone through have something to do with horror with the way that he's acting. killer is also incredibly irritated too (surpringly. being around papyruses just gets him like that) and seeing papyrus like that just gets him upset and angry. like wtf horror did you even TRY with keeping your papyrus safe??? at least killer reset his au and now papyrus is living an unharmed life (with minor concerns about killer's whereabouts but he'll ignore that for now) but horror paps looks so fucked up that there is no WAY that horror tried to prevent him from getting to that point

obviously they fight and many many many many MANY words are said about eachother's characters and the state they left their respective papyruses in. horror knows damn well that horrortale paps's state is because of him but he regretted telling paps to eat humans and neither dust nor killer knew the struggle of living with that guilt and how much he regrets it so they dont get to drag him for not trying hard enough to keep papyrus safe. dust is definitely getting some low blows here and there (but he's getting fucking assisted by phantom paps so he's got some of the deepest hitting insults) and he's definitely getting ganged up on for killing his papyrus and like. not even attempting to leave him alive in someway shape and form aside from the absolute insult that is phantom paps. surprisingly killer is winning this fight because he left his papyrus in a relatively good state. even though he's in a more emotional state than he normally is and would've absolutely OBLITERATED dust and horror in the fight in stage 2 he's actually doing pretty well. probably because hororr and dust dont really have anything to drag him on. they might bring up how something new papyrus is searching for killer but like,,,, is that really that bad compared to how they left their papyruses

[famewolf]

i will genuinely never understand my dad!!! and i feel guilty for being confused and angered by him!!!! i don't know what he wants and i doubt i ever will

i guess he's known that he's had cancer for over a month now but never told me. and i dont know if it's because he wanted me to reach out/pay attention to him, as he's done in the past or if he just didn't think to, or if it's some other third mysterious reason that i can't think up

we aren't close since he was rarely in my life but i feel like that's something you tell your kid.

and the only reason i found out is because i went to go check and see why he hadn't replied to my message about asking if he wanted to hang out for the thousandth time without getting a response

[tardis--dreams]

Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care

[ichigosoju]

🍪🥛

[miamicommune]

thinking abt how nemesis kind of sets up what should be the most thematically interesting ambition in FL and how quickly that fades as it goes

[moodr1ng]

literally 1 review on etsy lowering my entire average from 5 stars to 4.9 and it like. shouldnt be there imo so im mad abt it

[nomaishuttle]

the way i balance staying true to my tumblrina nature while also having a job and bills and rent is that at work while cleaning a room ill think of something id like to post and then repeat it over and over in my head and refine it until it sounds right and then i either post it as soon as i get a second to Or i forget it bc i think of anew post to make. and they always get 0 notes but its ok