#can i have a new spine
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I'm seriously wanting to wring my spine out like a towel rn
#chronic pain#crps#chronic illness#chronically ill#back pain sucks#can i have a new spine#please please pleae
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The feed ID doesn’t need to say anything other than what everyone else’s says, just name, gender, and…” She trailed off. She was looking at me and I was looking at her. - Martha Wells, Fugitive Telemetry (The Murderbot art I used is the official cover art from the French edition of ASR)
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#yeah i'm playing around with the murderbot cover art again :)#this murderbot is from the french edition of ASR! i think it's one of my favorite cover armor designs! i love that spine#i only wanted to make a cute pink aesthetically pleasing edit with murderbot's feed id but then i was thinking#about how murderbot's feed ID is super minimalistic and doesn't tell people anything about it really#(and how it actually would have preferred a null feed ID???#remember?? 'here on preservation it meant 'please don’t interact with me.' it was perfect' sgdhhjsgdjhsd ily murderbot)#vs. what i can only imagine is going in murderbot's private feed gsdhjgsdhfg#idk. i might be projecting but mb seems like a 254 tabs open at all times kinda person to me#also idk this seems kinda analogous to#mb opaquing its helmet in ASR vs. all the emotions and expressions that are happening underneath the helmet :)#(oh and this is not really how i envision the feed it's more of a visualization of how i imagine the feed works)#(and stylized in a way that was easiest for me to edit together sdhfgjhfg)#(also i KNOW that they don't have ao3 and youtube and spotify and wikihow etc etc but. i was having fun with this okay)#(and this already took an embarrassingly long time to put together as it is without me trying to design new forms of media welp)#ANYWAYS#more pink murderbot aesthetics from me because i'm a simple creature and pink is fun#𓄿
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I (partially) finished my bookcloth dustjacket designs for the first two BBC Merlin books!
(if folks want, once I finish all the designs, I can make a how-to post for making these for your own merlin books)
Symbols:
For The Dragon's Call, the top two are supposed to look like two sides of an old style coin that was stamped with the symbols that appear on Excalibur in the show. The bottom two are chains in reference to Kilgharrah (and something something the chains of destiny and knowing how it "should be" or smthing...)
Valiant was a little harder, not as much to pull from. So it gets crossed swords for the tournament that's taking place, with the dog statue's head as the bottom symbols.
#I still have to figure out what design I want for the spines (currently thinking of doing a connecting skyline of the castle)#but I do quite like how these came out!#the new HTV is sooo pretty#however it is still a beast i am learning to tame#as you can see by the bare spots on the dragon's call book#tho I quite think it adds to it#makes it look worn and aged and all that#merlin#bbc merlin#bookbinding#kinda-ish#my art
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Damian wayne head cannon, bro is either over dressed or underdressed but always in style. The Wayne's tend to just pick a stugle some times as Dick, Jason ans steph and known for being in tight/short/ skimpy fits with loads of accessories and Bruce, Tim, babs, cas and Duke tend to do a...lot because why show up if it's not to show up? They are beautiful humans and they show off. Damian is from a place where everyone dressed over accessorised.
You can not convince me that the RAs don't walk around with gold/silver/broz/metal and gems apart of every fit.and everyone dose it too just they the main blood line is extra about it something about the wight helps training and you can't go around looking homeless if your a ra. So dami comes with his own gems why thank you and gets more 'anonymously'. It's also a good way to get in his good graces or earn is help or silence(this is abused by the family on 'don't tell xxxx').
So some days you see Damian in this 50 layer kimono because he favourite anime character of the week died or in botty shorts and a crop top (Both with mannny accessories) because he just felt like it.
Mind you he is still wearing heavy jewellery so people do try to rob him. But he is Damain, his rep is of a wild but beautiful dog. He dose bite he also has security detail thanks to his mother and grandfather that only do nothing if they themselves send assassin's to harm him.
He knows everyone knows. They are his old servants and nanny's he acts like it too. Alfred likes the extra help and plays card games with them. One of the mannor floors is dedicated to Damains 'guards'.
Witch leads me to another au.
The nanny's and servants help with house work alot so alf have more time with the family and the family gets to know them as well but they know the servants don't need to awnser to them and it's only because Damain likes them it happens. They are loyal af.
One time burce asked Damain why can't he act like kids his age at the time. The only kids outside of his siblings he knew was the rich brats at school.
This gose wrong fast.
As damaian has them disguise themselves in a mall area and plan for a meeting with one of his classmates who talked bad about his mother one day to come fight.
Damaian had an outing with a 'friend' that day conveniently.
So they met at the mall the kid had like 10 guards all buff and some with guns. Damaian smirked, and like a demon who won a prize, he started cackling.
Brat" why ate you laughing your surrounded "
Somebody was recording in the background BTW. There was even a crowd. When the guards surrounded him he grinned and clapped.
His guards sand up some dropping trays and lifting guns, others lifting knives. All looking at the small crowd of 11.
D: "No you are surrounded"
People in the crowd gasp as more jumps from. The 3rd floor to the 2nd floor some hand off wires with more guns by now even some coming out of the crowd with more weponds totalling to almost 300 men and women.
D"now what was it you said about my mother?being a broke, whore?"
He lifted his hands and grined eith a glint in his eyes.
"Everyone around you is an enemy shawn. You best kneel and beg before me for forgiveness before I have them wiped you off the map."
By this time the crowd was growing and it was on the news all asking who the armed people worked for.
Then they turned red in the center from Sniper aims and it becomes national news it's on NBC and BBC how some wayne kid plans to kill a classmate with 100 men and 40 snipers for being disrespectful to his mother talking about how Bruce is letting his kids use his money.
Then a chopper appears because damain is dramatic he came that way and his family *caough * Dick *caough * made it worst.
His grandfather walks out in all his glory, and it becomes known to the world as it is now world news it has the kids' parents showing up even. That Damian is a part of the Al Gulh royal family, and they came out of hiding because of the disrespect they faced in a school. The parent where bowing a grovelling to spare them. Then talia shows up in her crown princess clothes. It makes RA act even bolder because she often refuses to wear clothes he gives her. She apologized for the mess her son and father cause on international news.
The a chopper came over from the Korean royal family asking who disrespected their family.
Damnian becomes international overnight. His mother and grandfather now have Twitter, and so do the very much hidden in the plane sight empire. While the world want to know what land is, they refuse to talk about it.
And Bruce is pissed he scolds him and then some when he reaches home. Damaian said.
"You said 'why don't I act like other kids' I acted like my classmates are you happy now?"
Bruce sinks in defeat and noe has to make up a story as to hoe he and talia met and now has to fit royal meeting into Damains schedule as the korean[ he didn't know ] side of family also wants turns with him and his siblings if they wish to come. Ras is the same and nobody questions damians linage again.
And all racist comments stop in his presents, his slate wiped clean anyone who offended him where either expelled or conveniently disappeared. Gotham acts like it's an every day thing and now news reporters and other people try to dig into his life more than the other Wayne's forming sort of a protection for them because who cares I'd Jason and Tim had a gun fight in the middle of Gotham (paint gun) all of Gotham didn't care because they too also joined into to the mess.
Damain looks actually too tired to care now because too much is on his plate and he can't get work related injuries else take a leave of absence which last time made international news again, he played off the brused lip as he lost a tooth while reading a book and it fell on his face. Had to get check out infount of t.v to confirm it by at least two nations doctors. All 3 of them did and confirmed the sooth got shook out by something falling on his face. [It was jon. Jon fell on his face].
Damian also has to walk around with food testers and his school released his gardeds once to show off and his private touters [smartest people in the world] showed thier certificates from when he was a child of him being thr smartest kid they have ever thought.
It's not the end of it, Damain now basically sits and eats at galas because who has the standing to talk to him, both good and bad because everyone is watching him and he don't have to talk to them.
(I'm just building help:^
I need to stop alright one more
Sick as fuck rn )
Damains clothes become trendy and scrutinised. Because look at this, he is either over dressed or under dressed but never worse dressed and refuses to care about gender or cultural norms. Once, we wore a whole silk gown to a beach, like the after divorce, or just married a rich man type gown with the slit and everything with heavy jewellery, garter belt and that toe chain that ties up to your calves with a parasol.
(In my cannon, he looks more like talia than Bruce)
#damian al ghul#batman#alt au#dcu#headcanon#damian wayne#bat family#royal damian wayne#bruce asked him to be a normal kid and he only knows rich kids. utill he meets jon after burce thought about what he said#it wss like bruce said i know what i said was wrong i fix it by gibing you thr most normal kid i know *shows alien boy*#dick loves to plan damians outfits with bhim because why not#Jason uses damian to get more books#tim uses him to get more international assess#barbra sees this as a way to get better wheel chair#she also gets her spine fixs a bit so she can walk and shit but not for long so still needs the wheel chair.#duek gets aloooot of comics and games#cass loves to use it to get food and just show up places and nobody bats an eye like that one time she showed up behind a victora secret#show and besically they just dressed her in what ever becauee she is rich enough and shit idk how those work#she is now a model on the side.#steph loves to go all over the world and eat there and do social media shit. but she also made shore her child got better treatment#even without her interference in her life she doesn't feel ready for that yet but she still wants it to live a life she could only wish for#even if she is not there#alf loves his new friends working in the mannor and have sceduled game and movie nights.#he also takes breaks now some times.
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Does anyone want to be my fav person by writing a hero Rangshi Au ?
#deppressive straight foward “i dont give a fuck unless is my bff#who i have a crush on' kyoshi#i can talk about this idea the entire day#i have so MUCH TO SAAYYY#im the “shy kyoshi hater fan” cause be honest she was never shy#she was just a deppresive emo who was also too tired to deal with assholes#she could have break anyone spine any time but she was lazy to deal with problems lmao#girl is just “you can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't involve me i just i want to work man” and i respect that#kyoshi could have easily kicked those bullies but she didnt want trouble and she managed to found a job and didnt want to ruin it for her#and kelsang#*broken i cant edit tags ugh#kyoshi: im the hero in the shadows#rangi: tell me something new#kyoshi: WHAT HOW- nvm of course u knew
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I drew this explanation post for why I was completely inactive for a week, but then felt too anxious and drained to post it, and subsequently disappeared for a second week
Two main blog drawings and one side blog wip later, I remembered I made this and still think it's funny, so even though I stopped being dead (TM) I still wanted to share lol
Brief series of events at work
^^^old, but I'm still taking it easy so posts on both this blog and my alt will continue to be scattered for now
#so for those of you that don't know; i have moderate combined scoliosis#my entire back is always at least a little strained so i have to really watch my physical activity#but i live in Tennessee where we have the lowest federally allowed minimum wage#so in order to pay for college i have to work in a package distribution company because it's the only place that pays well/has a scholarshi#I'm in the small package dept thankfully (bc spine)#but for the last three months one specific manager kept sending me out to a different area with the heaviest packages in the building#when i first disappeared it was because i was having trouble walking and using stairs lmao#I complained to that manager and it seems I'll be in smalls again for the foreseeable future; so I've had time to recover and am better :D#every day i didn't post after that was due to anxiety and a low social battery BUT I'm getting slightly better on that front too#i have been *very* aware of my spine lately though#the last time I got an xray was ten years ago and i wonder if it's changed since then... not that i can afford a new xray lol#also can i just take a space to complain about the US not using the metric system#so many packages have kilograms ONLY and i have NO frame of reference for that since we don't use kilograms anywhere else#''ooh wow 70 is a big number but surely it can't be that baD- HOLY SHIT THAT'S 154 POUNDS'' <- me all the time#at this point I myself will just switch to metric and make life harder for both myself and life around me out of principle
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Day 107 | id in alt
Imaginary technique: Narrative brain damage.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#zenin maki#Kugisaki would snap SPINES if she heard that Itadori thought of her with guilt which SHE DONT BLAME HIM but DAMN#Kugisaki can you stop going absolutely bat shit(she mentally and physically can't)#we love a girl who had no concept of having people to depend on before jujutsu technical college💖#i would say fumi but Kugisaki was the one protecting her#Kugisaki could lay her head on fumi's shoulder tho which i think she did a lot when she didn't wanna be near her grandma#she can sense others better than most but not like Maki because she still somtimes tweaks hard when theres somebody behind her#on another note ive been seeing a lot more people speak out with whats happening with support to the injured and gone so...id say good news
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I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’
#“‘the scariest thing out there’?”the girl sends him a look that isn't quite a glare for once; it still conveys her opinion just as clearly#Edmund shrugs. Hilda is still within sight of his binoculars. he watches her run and can’t be sure whether she’s running *towards* or *from#*.He doesn’t think she knows either.#'I mean. it’s not like trolls can harm her at this time of the day.#Don’t tell me you believe in fairies kid.'#And there it is at last: the glare. Meiri looks up from her art project - her new therapist had reccomended it as a way to express herself#and since he'd been helping so much so far she'd decided to grudgingly give it a shot -#“*No*” she states pointedly; to anyone who knew her it was an affirmation. And Edmund knew her better than she cared for#'What I believe in is wolves and recluse spiders and ticks and nettle. And I believe that someone with the spine#to sabotage the Patrol wouldn't have the self control to not lick a pretty mushroom'#“Hey!” Edmund protested putting down his binoculars. “I sabotaged the Patrol! For *you* I might add!”#Meiri's smile turned mean; it was a regular expression for her yet it never conveyed any malice. Just the thrill of a game that never tired#her. “And would you?” she lifted one thick eyebrow; signaling to her dad that it was his move now#The dad in question was unfortunately thinking back to a time in his young teenage years when he figured he could eat anything animals bit#and gave himself a poisoning that had him taken to the ER. But she didn't need to know that. *ever* in fact.#“Obviously I would. Like I'd let a mushroom ruin my perfect sandwich diet”#Meiri groaned loudly. Some games were worth playing. But some wars she'd already accepted she'd never win#“Anyway” he turned back to staring at the outside of the wall as if it was of any interest to him (it wasn't)#“kid'll be fine is my point. And even if she isn't ya know what's the best think about this situation?”#They looked at each other with matching smirks. “none of our flipping business” he said at the same time as she echoed#“None of our fucking business”#He gasped immediatelly. “*Meiri!*”#The chastening was useless. She just shrugged innocently.#He'd really have to limit her library visits#the bell keeper hilda#meirdom#hilda the series#hilda netflix
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i'm so fucking stressed out
#dude my dog had acl repair surgery in march#she's healed fine with that but developed stomach issues#so she's been back and forth to the vet with that#and now when i was at work she just randomly started walking weird as fuck. she kicks her leg that was operated on backwards as she walks#and sometimes looses balance in both legs#and then when i pick her up she acts like it hurts her spine or something#i'm gonna wake up in 4 hours to call the vet and see if they can see us today and pray that this isn't something that she'll need surgery#for again#i also am supposed to work tomorrow and then friday we have a rehearsal dinner and then saturday the wedding which is two hours away.#vets closed on sunday so if she can't get seen tomorrow it'll be a whole new fiasco trying to get her helped somewhere else#this dog is my lifeline like it#ruins me#seeing her like this#genuinely if i didn't have her i wouldnt be here#it's so hard to watch her not even be able to walk#but it's so fuckinf weird bc my mom said she was just laying in her bedroom and she came back out doing it? there's nothing she could've#gotten into it just makes no fuckinf sense#like it's possible either her kneecap or her acl implant thing popped out of place but#she stiffens her entire body when i pick her up#and she acts like she's losing balance#it's so fucking weird#i'm also terrified that i'm about to get told she has some kind of onset of neurological problems and she'll have to get put down#or something along those lines#it's just too much rn#pls keep my doggy in ur thoughts#we just spent 3k on her surgery in march if she has to get operated on again first of all the recovery process all over again sounds like#a nightmare#but just the cost alone#i'm gonna FUCKING KILL MYSELF
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I'm so excited for my D&D campaign
#i ran one in this world for two and a half years where everything is ravaged by dragons#but now theres been a somewhat revolution because one of the only surviving major cities was impulsively conquered by my players#so things have been shaken up a lot and now they have a holiday because they brought i think three gods to earth at once#two of my players became the vessels of the gods of light and darkness and duked it out and fast forward a year or two#and their hold on the economic powerhouse of the continent is solidified and they have partnered with an organization#that specualizes in magical artifacts from every concievable reality#and my NEW campaign is people hired by this organization#The Forge of Wonders#they have this entirely greyed out library full of strange books that when you pick them up gain color and you can read their spines#and these books are stories. theyre fairy tales. theyre pirate adventures. theyre dragon babysitting. theyre demon apocalypses.#and these stories are worlds. theyre stories in truth. and my players have been hired to dive into the stories and retrieve Thing#for the forge of wonders#which means i get to make WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BITCHES#i get to be so fucking impulsive with my story crafting#and im not going to balance anything correctly. theyre just going to have to assume from the summary in the front page if its doable#demon apocalypse? probably outside of our level. gnome tinkerers? probably not too bad#and ill have prebuilt stories and something theyre taked with retrieving and they get to choose which onr yhey do#anyways the forge of wonders started as a magic shop that only accepted platinum (1000 gold) as currency so they did a lot of shopping ther#i just took that old document full of crazy magical items and i tweaked it and molded it and added to it and the new version is 33 pages 🥰#thats what ive been doing at work the past three days lol#dnd#my dnd
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a doodle from last night
mimic has been captured and they aren't letting him get silly💔
(i am running out of ideas so in the near future you might see me depending on odd 3am thoughts for inspiration until i get sent more art ideas by pigeon post👍)
#fnaf#fnaf fanart#my art#fnaf mimic#fnaf the mimic#fnaf ruin#you might notice him being a tad bit shorter from the torso than usual bc i have a new funky headcanon!!!!#*rubs hands together deviously* ok so i like to think his belly/spine doohickey is kinda like#an accordion?? or something like that so he can shorten and lengthen it if needed#(goes snazzy with his size changin' properties!) and what if he squishes up like that when not very happy
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Sometimes its baffling watching people do the same thing you are and having to wonder what it's like to not be in pain all the time.
Don't you hurt? Aren't you in agony? Must be nice.
#i am frustrated#i need more physical therapy before i can even think of doing some of the things they do at my new job......#I'm going to have to ask if they can alter my shift or my duties because my spine is not agreeing with some of the end-of-the-night tasks...#i am only four shifts in but i know my body well enough that if i keep it up like this im going to wind up having another bad spinal flare#and i absolutely hate it#kaz post
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dry swallowing pills is my stupidest flex. i'm not even showing off anymore i'm just impatient
#this post brought to you by#the breakfast of champions#(a monster energy and a naproxen)#and my decision at a rather young age to figure out how to do it because sometimes juggling pills and water in your mouth is too difficult#obviously small dry ones are easier#gel caps and large pills are a lot more difficult *mostly* due to size#but the gels are also more prone to sticking to me accidentally on the way down which is Super Uncomfortable#that said i learned my technique on the dayquil gel caps when those were relatively new and thus the ergonomic tech on the cap shape/size#wasn't quite there yet but they did catch up#and also my hips which i think are the actual problem and not my lower back which is...really annoying mostly lmao#i can FIX lower back if that's wrong#idk how to un-dislocate (i assume) my whole pelvis and put it back into place properly#that post about ripping your spine out and fixing it manually out in the open but for the rest of the skellybones#that's how i feel#on the plus side something *did* big major pop back into place last night and i imagine at least some of this pain is related#but like#ow#that's not very nice and kind of you Mr. Pelvic Area#if my hips didn't part like god commanded them to make way for his people to escape egypt once a month every month#i probably wouldn't HAVE this issue#i'm Stretching i'm Moving as much as i'm fucking capable i'm Learning How Far Is Too Far and i'm just like#why isn't it WORKING#what am i doing WRONG#and it's just that my body hates me specifically and doesn't want me to have a good time hardly ever#also probably my hip joints are related to this#i'm relatively certain i have mild hip dysplasia (or however it's spelled) as well as the hypermobility#which i'm just assuming at this point is EDS due to all the other factors involved but like fucking hell#it's almost like a fucking chronic illness that causes pain regularly or something#i wanna speak to the manager of bones#i've got some Choice Fucking Words for them
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blacked out in the tags of that last post remembering how much i hate cullen lmao
#it’s PERSONAL bc when i first played dai i had no idea who he was#bc i was new to the series#and i felt bad for him and wanted to help him and blah blah#it’s wild how they try to garner more sympathy for this man than for any of the ex circle mages you can help in-game#p#dragon age#samson should have been our ex templar advisor and i stand by that#with cullen’s chocolate eclair spine i can totally see him being corypheus’s right hand man#so long as someone keeps him in lyrium he’s willing to overlook anything apparently
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ughgh my eyes feel strained all the time... can't wait until two weeks hence when i finally get my new glasses
#posts by me#this is the year of getting my issues fixed!!! starting with new glasses#i also got a mrt appointment to check my spine out#hopefully if i can get a handle on a) spine b) eyes c) blood i shall have less problems#also i really need to find a new place. one with a mold-free shower#anything else will fall into place god willing. but it's wild what you can do with a little momentum#to be fair to myself last year i was also so anemic i barely had the strength to lift my arms up. so that's why i sorta stagnated then
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My last therapist appointment was $200. Corporate Healthcare is a scam.
#wrenfea.exe#my spine doc is $192 so that was $400 for two doctor appointments#thank god i have insurance now#please please use the healthcare marketplace or medicaid do not let your insurance lapse#i know its scary and a lot to deal with but its so bad out there for the uninsured#i wanted to spoil my partner for valentines day but all that money went to my doctors#the united states is fucked#i cant afford my chiropractor anymore which means my spine is going to get worse again#idk what that man does but it works unfortunately#hopefully i can get a new spine doctor at kaiser
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