#can happen without acting like both parties are exactly the same

[pjharvey-moved]

i’m constantly conflicted btwn “the us is a world power and an imperialistic force with probably unmatched cultural, economic, and militaristic power worldwide, so people from other countries have every right to have opinions on our politics” and like … being incredibly incredibly exasperated by all the posts by non-americans calling american progressives stupid and varyingly implying that donald trump isn't actually a real threat and we're all so stupid for not realizing democrats and republicans are just the same and not just opting out of the whole system altogether, because that’s apparently a remotely feasible option

[v3lv3tsin]

lucifer: yang jungwon

| brought the heat back series: two / three

| pairing: yang jungwon x reader

| word count: 5.3k

| warnings: blood, swearing, alcohol, manipulation, murder, toxic behaviour, angst, minors dni

| stefy's note: my drafts broke down twice as i was trying to write this so i'm sorry if it took this much time plus extra activities for uni are killing me and so is the exam season, so enjoy :)

| genre: vampire!jungwon, human!reader, vampire!heeseung (heeseung mentioned), vampire!jay (jay mentioned)

| spotify playlist 🎧 (recommend listening to it while reading)

"You have to tell me what happened!" Your best friend hollers as you two walk to the wednesday history lecture. Ever since the party you haven't told her about the little escapade you had with Jungwon.

"I told you nothing happened!" You reply rolling your eyes at her. Of course, you weren't gonna tell her that Jungwon just fingered you and you left him with a boner. And then acted like nothing happened.

"Something happened! You just don't want to talk to to me about it." She continues on the same tone when you reach the lecture room to finally be able to end the discussion itself. "Plus you were gone for more than half an hour, that should mean something." Your best friend teases you.

"I told you nothing happened between me and him!" Sitting down on the uncomfortable chair from the lecture room, you look at her annoyed. Of course she was curious, but it shouldn't be any of her business what you and jungwon did or do. But that's besides the point. She was a pushover, but you loved her nonetheless.

Without caring about what you were talking, you're met with your best friends question related to none other than Jungwon. "Guess who's eyeing you again?" Not thinking twice about what you have just heard you roll your eyes instinctively. Not a minute after you're met with Jungwons red glaring eyes.

Turning around to lock eyes with your best friend as you finally ask her. The question that has been on your mind ever since you left the party. "Why are his eyes always red? It's weird!" You continue on the same doubtful tone. "Does he wear contacts all the time?"

"Who knows. But he looks hot." Your best friend pushes your shoulder playfully, taking her time to check Jungwon out. Sitting at the back of the class, talking to one of his friends, Heeseung. You haven't heard much about him, but both of them were handsome. That's a given. Jungwons now red dark hair was messy as he had his lazy eyes on the computer focusing on writing his notes from time to time. He looked so casual, yet so handsome.

How come you haven't noticed him before? To be honest, after the lecture would have finished, you and your best would always leave as soon as possible. Barely having any time to talk to the other students. That wasn't a problem until now. There was something about him, you couldn't tell what it was exactly, but it was pulling you in.

"Who cares. He's fucking hot." Your best friend continues on the same loud tone as before. She was loud. Too loud. Always speaking her mind when it comes to boys.

"Shhh!" You signal to her by putting your hand over her mouth attempting to not let Jungwon or his friends hear you gossiping about them. Pausing for a second you take your hand off her mouth as you then add. "They can hear us." Turning around to see if Jungwon or his friends heard anything, one thing is clear. He was smirking.

The image of your cum, along with your blood, dripping from his mouth was playing in your head. His messy red hair. Some of his clothes on the floor. He looked breathtaking to say the least.

One thing was clear. They heard you two talking. How?

Weird. You thought to yourself. Not putting much thought into it then. Maybe your best friend spoke too loud or you just weren't paying attention. Who knows.

"Let's just focus on the lecture." You add one the same worried tone as before not wanting to talk about him anymore. Even if he could hear you or not, you had to focus on the lecture not on him. "I don't wanna talk about him anymore." You say turning your head to talk to her, not wanting to give her more information about your reason.

"Fine fine." Your best friend rolles her eyes trying not to act affected by your words. You could tell that she wanted to continue on the same subject, but accepted it because of you. And you loved her for that.

Thankfully, you hear the annoyed voice of your teacher as he had now his eyes on you two.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

There's one thing that he hated most when it comes to his lectures and that was one thing and one thing only. Talking and not paying attention.

"Miss Y/N and miss Y/F/N if you have something to discuss, i'm sure you can also do it outside the class or feel free to tell us about it." Mr. Caldwell says on an irritated tone as he looks at the two of you. Seeing that none of you are answering the teacher turns around to continue writing on the wide whiteboard.

Thank God.

Now neither you or your best friend didn't have answer the question in front of the whole class. Embarass yourself. In front of everyone. Turning around you're faced again with Jungwons grin. That damn grin.

What an asshole.

"What's his problem?" You look confused at your best friend rolling your eyes definetly annoyed by his behaviour. Acts as if he likes you at the party, kisses you and now laughs as you. Perfect. Now you ruined all your chances you probably never had with him.

Facing you after she stopped writing the final word of the sentence, your best friend answered unbothered. "I don't know. Who cares." She pauses for a second as she continues on the same indifferent tone as before. "You're overthinking again."

Maybe you were being too mean to him. You barely met and talked to the guy and hopefully he was just laughing about the situation and not about you. Maybe you're overthinking again.

"Yeah maybe." You finally turn your attention to the teacher who has been talking about the french revolution for about thirty minutes now and try to get the most out of the lecture itself or what was left from it.

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You've been pacing around the room for about twenty minutes ever since you recieved a mysterious packadge that has been laying on your neatly made bed. The boxes are stacked in a pyramid-like arrangement, each box a different size, with the largest at the bottom and the smallest at the top. The topmost box is tied with a sleek black ribbon, adding an elegant finishing touch. Each box has a minimalistic design with Prada’s logo in black, adding to the sophistication.

Taking your time to finally approach the packadge, you spot an envelope resting atop of the Prada boxes, crafted from thick, cream colored paper with a subtle sheen that catches the light. The edges are beveled, and a deep burgundy wax seal embossed with an elegant monogram holds it closed. The envelope is carefully positioned in the center, slightly angeled over the black ribbon that secures the top box.

Fancy. You thought to yourself.

Taking a deep breath you open the letter carefully not to break the seal. You glance along the cursive letters written down as you read through them. "La Maison Ètoile, tonight at 6.- J".

J. J? Jungwon? What the hell? What the actual fuck?

La Maison Ètoile? Yes. La Maison Ètoile. One of the most expensive restaurant in the city.

"You slut!" Your best friend answers as she calls you out by almost screaming at you like she always does. If she was there, there's no doubt that she would be pushing your shoulder playfully but not before making you open the boxes. "Try it on! Try the outfit on!" She says over the phone in a babylike voice.

Without having any second thoughts you typed in your best friends phone number to tell her about it. In almost no time at all she was trying to convince you to go to the so called date.

"You have to go." You best friend continues on the same persuasive tone as before as it could be heard over the phone. It was clear that she believed that you and Jungwon could be an item. "It could be fun. You need to give him a blow job for that gift alone." She says reffering back to the Prada packadge you haven't opened yet.

Rolling your eyes you answer her by calling her out in an almost screaming voice embarassed of what you just heard. "Shut up. I'm not gonna blow him." You pause for a minute hoping that she didn't hear you whisper. "At least not tonight."

"Fine." You answer her before pausing for a moment to look over the small pile of boxes next to you. "I'll call you later." Ending the call you finally get the courage to finally open the boxes.

Turning around you untie the black ribbon holding the pyramid of boxes together, making you able to take each box individually. Taking the white largest Prada box from the bottom of the pyramid you open it hesitantly hoping to not be met with an unwanted surprise. You see a short-sleeved, black knit cardigan with contrasting white details, like the V-neck collar, button line, and pockets neatly packed along with a a high-waisted black mini skirt, featuring a discreet Prada logo on the pocket.

Your size. Your size? How does he even know what size you're wearing? Maybe because you've been wearing skirts your whole life. Mostly to the lectures.

Taking the white second largest on top of the box you have just opened which was now on you lap, waiting to be opened. You take your time to open it to be met with a pair of black stiletto heels with sparkling crystal embellishments on the straps.

Wow. Was all you could mutter as you were still unpacking the gift you have gotten moments ago.

Unpacking the pale green small box that was on top of the box you have just opened, you're seeing a a black bow scrunchie with white edges, a small black quilted Prada handbag with a silver chain neatly packed.

He really outdid himself. You said as you decided to take the last box which was now waiting to be opened. As you did so, you realize that there are several accesories such as pearl earrings, a simple pearl necklace, and a sleek black Prada watch.

Fuck. This guy deserves a whole damn blow job along with your virginity all together.

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And there he was. Leaning onto his burgundy Aston Martin Valkyrie. He is dressed in a grey crew-neck sweater layered over a white collared shirt, with the cuffs of the shirt peeking out and rolled back slightly over the sweater sleeves, giving a relaxed but polished look. Jungwon's wearing high-waisted dark grey trousers that are slightly loose, and he completes the outfit with sleek, black leather loafers. His short, slightly tousled hairstyle and round, dark-rimmed glasses made him look innocent.

If you haven't met him, you could have guessed that he was as innocent as anyone could think of. But this wasn't the case. His now brown eyes were now checking you out from head to toe.

"I see you got the package." Jungwon smirks as soon as he sees you walk out of the door.

How did he know your adress? Maybe you must have told him at some point. Or some other time.

Tilting his head and crossing his arms you could see him admiring you from afar. Continuing on the same teasing tone as he grins at you before he adds. "Didn't think it would fit you, princess."

"Well it did." You answer him rolling your eyes not expecting him to be this cocky when it came to dates. To be honest, you expected him to be a gentleman but that was not the case to begin with. Not even a compliment. Not even opening the car door for you. Asshole much.

You're overthinking. Certainly. Maybe not. Maybe yes.

It's not a date. It's a date. Taking you off your thoughts is the warmth of Jungwons hand now being carefully placed on your thigh. Gripping it lightly he then takes a look at you. You looked beatiful. In the dress that the he bought.

"Didn't think you would come, princess." Jungwon says as he rubs his thumb onto the exposed thighs, sometimes his hand reaching under your skirt for a moment or two.

"Well i'm here." You confess to him as you didn't expect to see yourself here. On the way to the most expensive restaurant in the city. In a car that probably costs ten times more than your college fee.

La Maison Ètoule is a beautifully decorated restaurant interior with a refined, luxurious ambiance. The space is dimly lit, creating a warm and intimate atmosphere. Small, elegantly set tables are draped in crisp white tablecloths, each arranged for two diners and adorned with a single, lit candle as a centerpiece, casting a soft, golden glow. The chairs surrounding the tables are plush and upholstered in dark, velvet-like fabric, with high backs that lend an air of sophistication. Some of these chairs appear to be a deep burgundy, which complements the rich, dark color scheme of the room.

The walls are lined with large, ornate mirrors framed in elegant moldings, reflecting both the light and the opulent details of the room. These mirrors add depth and dimension to the space, amplifying the cozy yet expansive feeling. The walls also feature decorative panels or framed artwork with intricate designs, perhaps inspired by vintage or classical styles, adding to the restaurant’s old-world charm.

The ceiling is bordered with gold moldings, which catch the candlelight and give a subtle, luxurious gleam. Soft, wall-mounted lamps with delicately shaded coverings provide additional lighting, positioned to illuminate the tables and highlight the intricate decor without overpowering the room’s intimate glow. Toward the back of the space, a large potted plant with broad green leaves adds a refreshing touch of nature, softening the opulence of the surroundings.

After entering the restaurant you're informed that Jungwon already made a reservation. Fancy. He was prepared. Very. Before you could sit down be helped you by pulling the chair back so you were finally able to do so. Finally he decided to ask like a gentleman.

Looking around the restaurant, the same waitress comes back with two large black matte menus in her hand, later than handing one to Jungwon, respectively one to you.

Opening it you're surprised to see that none of the prices were shown, but from what you could grasp his did. Must be expensive then, you thought to yourself.

Before you could open your mouth to ask him what would be the best dish to order, the waitress was already at your table, with a smile on her face waiting to get your order. Jungwon smiled softly at the waitress and ordered, without asking you even for a second what would you want, a foccacia with ricotta dip along with charred octopus for you, and for himself, the gnocchi al forno. And to help all compliment with the order the waitress recommened that he should get a Chateau d'Yquem from 1971.

Did you had any idea what he ordered? No.

But you were curious for sure.

Sooner than expected the wine, along with two wine glasses and the foccacia that looked as if it was fresh out the oven. Cutting a small piece of bread for you before putting on a bit of the ricotta dip and then handing it to you. Taking it from him, you take a bite from it having no expectations.

It tasted amazing, fresh, hot and just perfect. Turning your attention to him, you see Jungwon opening the wine bottle. He was twisting the bottle instead of the cork while trying to unscrew it that resulted in the back of his hand getting a small wound. Worrying about him you take the first napkin that you could find and extend your hand to cover the wound anyhow.

"Are you ok?" You ask him covering the wound, not wanting for the blood to get everywhere on the table or his clothes. Before you could check his hand to see if he was alright you pressed down onto the wound hoping that the wound would stop bleeding. Taking the napkin off his wound you're met with no sight of blood.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. As if it had never existed.

"I'm fine." Jungwon reassures you as he moves his hand away from your sight, hoping that you didn't see anything. He continues on the same annoyed tone as before. "Just eat."

Leaning back down to your seat, you take another bite of the foccacia with the cheese dip trying to not makw the situation even weirder than before. Saving you from the awkward conversation is the arrival of the charred octopus and the gnocchi al forno. Putting each one of the respective dishes in front of each one of you.

They looked delicious and you wanted to taste both of them. But you couldn't get your mind off what just happened with him moments ago. Maybe it was just your mind playing games with you.

Without a warning Jungwon blurs out. "Have you heard about the recent murders?" He says in a calm tone, not even bothering to give a bit more context about the topic in the first place.

"No, not really." You answer in a confused voice, still having no idea what he was talking about in the first place. You vaguely heard about bodies drained out of blood, but you didn't think the news reached the university already.

"Apparently authorities found several bodies drained out of blood. Could be vampires or could be not?" Before he continues, taking a small bite of the gnocchi Jungwon looks at you as he says. "I thought you knew about this, princess."

"I did." You answer reassuring him, knowing that you heard the news, you just didn't have the time to look into it. "I didn't think you'd know about it." As you continue to take a bite of the octopus tentacle that was sitting in front of you for some time now.

Taking about murders on the first date. Weird much.

Wanting to know more about him you decide to ask him a question that has been on your mind since the party at his place. "Why law?" You look at him hoping to get an answer that gave somehow an explanation to his major choice. The answer you would have expected would certaintly be sure it was because of his parents.

"My parents." Jungwon reassures your curiosity by barely giving you any information. Knowing that not many people who have the choice of not working, since their parents are millionares already, would do so. You wouldn't have expected for a moment that Jungwon would be that type of guy.

Ding dong. You were right.

Taking your mind off things was the voice of a strange man, you've never met before, but the man seemed to know Jungwon. Without giving any explanation the man says. "I know you."

"I think you have the wrong person." Jungwon answers the strange man in distress, not wanting to talk to him at all. He wanted him gone and that was for sure. Realizing that he might be making the date more awkward than intended.

"You haven't aged a day." The man continues on the same surprised tone before realizing that it was time to leave the two love birds alone. Before you could ask him what he actually knew about Jungwon, he was gone.

Turning around hoping to see the man again, you excuse yourself to follow him. Search for him. In no time you're met with the mysterious man standing in front of you, waisting no time to know more about him. You wanted to ask him what he knew about Jungwon. "Are you sure that the man you knew was Yang Jungwon?"

Nodding and in the same time reassuring you, on the same tone as before, is the man. "Yes." Wanting to dig deeper into this awkward yet interesting situation that you were in you decided to ask him a more in depth question. "When was this?"

"1953." That's the last thing the man says, leaving you speechless. What? What the actual fuck? 1953 was 71 years ago. This must have been a dumb prank. Something, anything but this is not what you have expected to hear tonight.

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"I don't kiss on first dates." You let Jungwon know as soon as you reach the front door of you house. Looking at him with a shy smile not wanting him to get the wrong image of you. That you might be easy.

"Shut up, princess." Jungwon approaches you by coming closer to you, as he lightly grips your waist with one hand pulling you closer. Making you wrap your hands around his neck instinctively as you see him lean in. Forgetting about the words you said moments ago, leaning in also you could feel his lips on yours.

Pulling away you take a final look at him before kissing his cheek. "Thanks for the date." Closing the front door after you told him how you felt about the date to not make the situation more awkward than it was before.

Leaning down on the door, as you then reach the floor processing what happened at the date. Getting up to take your diary, you then started writing. "Dear diary, I'm not a believer. People are born, they grow old, and then they die. That's the world we live in. How can i deny what's in front of me? Someone who never grows old, never gets hurt. Someone who changes in ways that can't be explained. Bodies drained off blood."

You knew. You knew what Jungwon was. Vampire.

What made you confront him, you didn't know. But that's how you found yourself driving to his house. You wanted to know more, but you were also afraid. Something drew you to him. His mysterious allure. The way he seemed interested in you, yet not in the same time. Before you could even knock on his door, you're met with his flaming red eyes that meet yours.

"What are you?" You ask him in distress, demanding an answer as soon as possible or even faster than that. Seeing that he looks at you, not saying anything. Simply admiring you. Pausing for a second you ask him again this time hoping to have more effect than the last time. "What are you?"

Nodding, as if he was playing with you and your feelings, Jungwon gives you a shy reassuring smile. "You know." He knew you found out, somehow. That wasn't the way he was thinking in the first place that you would find out, but you did.

"No, I don't." You answer confidently, yet scared a bit of what he might be. You wanted something, anything. Before you could ask another question you hear his deep voice talking back to you. "Yes you do, or you wouldn't be here."

Shaking your head you couldn't believe what was happening. Jungwon is a vampire. A vampire. That can't be. "It's not possible. It can't be." Vampires don't exist. They're just a myth.

Approaching you with light steps is Jungwon, who wanted to explain everything, but you couldn't let that happen. It had to be a joke. "Everything you know...And every belief that you have is about to change. Are you ready for that?" Jungwon asks in a calm, steady voice not wanting to scare you even more.

"What are you?" You ask him again taking a step back, not wanting him to hurt you in any way, searching for that sole answer that could change everything and anything. You demanded to know. Even if it could change your perception of him.

Pausing for a second to finally make you understand in what kind of world you've lived in for years. Jungwon takes another look at you before answering. "I'm a vampire."

I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire. The words keep relaying in your head as you remain speechless. Turning around you blur out the words that have been haunting your mind ever since you left home. "I shouldn't have come." You really shouldn't be here.

As soon as he sees you thinking of leaving, Jungwon follows you not wanting you to see you ignore him or not be close to him anymore. That's when you heard the words that would have never escaped his mouth before. "No. Please." Jungwon comes even closer to you hoping to make you stay. Even if it was for one minute.

"No. No." Before he could come any closer you move away from his sight, wanting to be as far as possible from him. As you continue to run away from him, as far as possible, that's when he appears in front of you. In disbelief of what had just happened you ask him on a confused yet desperate tone. "How did you do that?" Looking back to the place where you talked minutes before, the front door, then back at him.

"Please. Don't be afraid. of me." Jungwon adds on a pleading tone. He was desperate, you could see it in his eyes. All he wants and wanted was for you to understand eveything. Be ok with it or at least accept it. Anything.

"Let me go." You say trying to walk past him to get to your car so you could get the hell out of there. You didn't want him to touch you, get near you. Make you understand. He was dangerous. And you didn't want to be close to him.

Gripping by the side of you arms, stopping you from running away from him. He had to explain it to you, everything. And you had to listen. "No. Y/N, there's things that you have to know and understand."

This was too much, you had to go. You want to go home and process what just happened. "Let me go!" You almost scream at him in fear as you never Jungwon in this state of mind.

"Y/N, please!" It's the last thing you hear from him as finally manage to get into the car and drive away. Him standing in disbelief and looking at you is the last thing you saw.

He was gone. You were now safe.

Or so you thought.

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Rushing to get to the door and it, as fast as possible, you find yourself in the bathroom. Trying to process what has just happened between you and Jungwon moments ago. You've never seen him like this. Ever before.

Taking your time as you were currently breathing heavily still in shock of what has just happened. He's a fucking vampire. He could kill you.

Exiting the bathroom and going back to your room you fall into the bed exhausted. You learned too much about him for one day. Sighting, you're once again pacing back and forth into the room. Maybe it was all a joke? Maybe he was just messing with you? He always does that.

As you were taking your jacket off you hear a soft and calm voice speak from behind you. "Y/N." It was Jungwon. Speaking about the devil himself.

Turning around you look at him scared, that's when you decide the fastest way is to run out of your room. Before that was possible, he pushes the door shut and corners you against the door. Trying to reason with you, Jungwon continues on the same tone. "I would never hurt you. You're safe with me."

"All those animal attacks, those people who died..." You feel your words trail off, scared, thinking of what you havw heard or read on the news. It all seemed so real. Yet so fake. Turning around you see him red eyes watching your every move.

Shaking his head, trying to make you understand the whole situation, Jungwon answers in a more convincing tone as before. "No, that was Jay." This was the only chance he's got, and he's gonna take it.

Jay. Jay? His brother? His brother. "Jay?" You ask him with an even more confused voice not expecting him to put the blame on his brother. You heard about him, but never enough to think that he might have been a vampire also.

"Yes. I don't drink human blood. That's not how I choose to survive, but Jay does! I'll explain everything to you, but I beg you, Y/N, do not tell anybody." Jungwon looks at you with soft eyes, trying to reason with you or make you believe that he won't ever hurt you.

He must be crazy for asking you this. To trust him? What the actual fuck? Looking at him confused you question him. "How can you ask me to do that?" He couldn't be seriously asking that.

"Because you knowing this is dangerous for so many reasons. You can hate me, but I need you to trust me." He continued on the same pleading tone asking for one thing only. To trust him. That's all he wanted. That's all he needed.

"Just go. Just go, please. Go. If you mean me no harm, then you'll go!" Your voice dies down as soon as you finish the sentence. Afraid of him, that's what you were. He didn't want to hurt you, or that's what he said. It's a double edged sword at the end of the day.

"I never wanted this." That's the last thing you hear before turning around to be met with the sole silence of Jungwons departure. He was gone. Gone. Out of your sight.

He actually left. He actually listened to your pleadings.

And so did you.

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Finally arriving back to the mansion, Jungwon meets his oldest brother, Heeseung as he was heading into his room. "What's with the long face?" Heeseung comments as soon as he sees his brother enter the front door with a sad face.

"It's nothing." Jungwon stops into his tracks, noticing that Heeseung was holding a blood bag. Human blood. Not wanting to give him more information about what happened with you.

"Is this abour this Y/N of yours?" Heeseung asks him nonchalantly. Knowing that Jungwon is gonna tell him all about the situationship he was in with you, he decides to open the straw and drink from it.

"Yes." Jungwon rolls his eyes not expecting his brother to be able to see what is wrong with him so easily. He could tell what was on his mind without even having to ask him.

"Maybe i could talk to her." Heeseung continues on the same nonchalant tone, not caring if he's worrying his brother about you. Taking his time to finish the blood bag he looks at Jungwon waiting to see his reaction.

"Don't fucking touch her." Jungwon comes closer to his brother, in a threatning way. Continuing on the same tone, Jungwon says. "Don't get close to her. Don't look at her." Standing now in front of his brother he wanted to make sure he understood the message.

You're his. His and only his.

"You drank her blood. Didn't you?" Heeseung leans against the bedroom door looking at his brother smirking. He drank her blood. Her blood. Words kept replaying in his mind as he thought about what Jungwon said. Wanting to tease him before he was able to be alone for the night, Heeseung said. "Just don't make her end up like your last."

Jungwon nods knowing what happened the last time he wanted to turn a human into a vampire. Things took a turn for the worst, there's no doubt in that. But this it is different. He could feel it.

You were different.

© V3LV3TSIN ⎯ do not translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[dnickels]

I don't think Gibson gets enough credit for how skillfully he extricated himself from the sodomy allegations. Long post to follow ->

The evangelical mindset is "we are constantly under siege from both invisible powers and our fellow man (and even one's own thoughts), every waking moment is nonstop spiritual battle" so Gibson framing himself as too weak to refuse advances (without spiritual backing, naturally) is a brilliant play for Irving's own anxieties while also putting him in the position to be the shepherd rescuing one of his flock. A direct appeal to the Victorian bourgeois savior narrative, expertly played. He's given Irving a script so familiar and one he's so eager to act out he doesn't for a second question its veracity.

And now we depart to the realm of pure speculation (oh boy my favorite) but I always wonder what exactly Gibson told him, and how much it actually corresponds to what we hear Irving scold Hickey for. I wonder if something got lost in translation (Irving heard what he wanted to hear which is not quite the same as what's actually being said). I think Gibson is perfectly capable of shopping Hickey to save his own skin no question, but that scenario doesn't quite jive with how surprised/concerned he is that Hickey and Irving apparently had a chat about the situation. Surely Gibson didn't think he could say "I was coerced" without some kind of follow-up? It could be a feint, he's just acting to try and keep Hickey from holding a grudge (I think Gibson knows with brutal clarity that you do not want to be on Hickey's shitlist) but his reaction reads to me like he's seeing his fib start to spiral out of control. Of course, one of the grand themes in Terror is people not being as smart as they think they are (or, more charitably, that even well-conceived plans often shipwreck on the shoals of human unpredictability) so it could just be an example of a reasonable plan blowing up on contact with an unreasonable person, as individuals are a universe unto themselves and truly unknowable to each other. Or maybe he really didn't think Irving would do anything, because he asked him to keep it quiet? Maybe that's how it usually goes, everyone agrees to keep it quiet-- sobering thought.

Still, it intrigues me to think about Irving as the wildcard in Gibson's plan, not Hickey-- bringing baggage to it that Gibson didn't include in his calculations. I wonder if Gibson heard the lecture, how many of his own words would he recognize? I can see the shape of a communications breakdown, where a tactful "the temptation was overwhelming, I couldn't resist him" becomes "he used overpowering force" or "I didn't come forward because I was afraid" becomes "he threatened me into silence". Not unreasonable assumptions for Irving to make, honestly, I just think its interesting to play with the idea that they are assumptions and not part of Gibson's ass-saving explanation. Just no accounting for what happens in the pressure-cooker of the evangelical brain!

Obviously the darker read here is that Irving can't understand a messy gay situationship despite spending years at sea is because he is homophobic (while desperately refusing/denying/fighting his own desires) or was himself party to coercion, either towards himself or someone else.

I just think its interesting to think of how it might have played out if Gibson and Hickey been surprised by say, Hodgson instead-- who might have given them a stern "I don't want to catch you two not at work again" but otherwise let the matter slide, or Little, who I can see loading them down with donkeywork but refraining from escalating because doing so means talking to Crozier and Oh God, Please No.

I keep coming back to the question of whether or not Gibson was ready/intending to burn Hickey as badly as his lie makes it seem. While I think he's perfectly capable of it, but it seems like such a risky move when his confession (owning what Irving has no real proof of, I'm more familiar with the early 19th century legal situation on land but the standard of proof for sodomy specifically was actually pretty high) could just as easily backfire on him rather than exonerating them both. We only have Gibson's word that he acted for their mutual benefit, and even if he's telling the truth it seems like stepping on a landmine: no one seems to think Hickey would hang on his accusation, so he's going to still be around after a potential flogging and presumably pissed off. Obviously its a bad situation all around but I am so curious about his own risk/reward accounting. For me, I really enjoy imaging him trying to play master manipulator to Jirv who is absolutley not a player and mostly lets Jesus call the shots. Very funny to me to be so ambitious and skillful and willing to play the Great Game but it all comes to nothing due to human folly. Thesis moment.

[alwayslostinfiction]

I've been thinking about what I like about maxton hall or rather Ruby's & James relationship so much. And I think I've kind of got it?

They communicate. They are willing to be proven wrong and change their minds.

Like, Ruby realises immediately when she's overstepped in the Oxford preparation class, after James storms out. She feels bad for it, she doesn't think he deserved it just because of her preconceived notions about him.

But especially: she apologizes. She actually thinks about it, asks her father for advice and apologizes.

She doesn't just act like "oh well, wasn't the best thing but whatever". She takes the time to see things from his pov (And at that point she technically still can't stand him).

And she's willing to change her mind about him. She isn't stuck for eternity in the "he's an idiot" mindset. When he shows her he has another side to him, she's open to it. Let's him change her mind.

Same goes for James.

When he doesn't defend her from his father in the gallery, he tries to make up for it, by printing the posters. By showing that he's not ashamed to be seen with her.

Obviously it didn't convey the message he thought it would, cause ruby wasn't exactly thrilled about it (which she actually communicated right away, even if maybe not in the best manner) but it was the best way he knew in his mind.

And he explained it to Ruby, the moment she came to him. He didn't just keep his head down & took her accusations. He explained himself.

For both his behaviour with his father & the posters. He acknowledged he should've acted differently, he explained why he acted that way, made sure ruby knew that it had nothing to do with her.

And pretty much in any situation, theres some type of resolve like this. They aren't stuck in their ways. They fuck up sure, but they are willing to own up to it and change.

Not perfectly obviously. But that makes sense, their still teenagers after all. Most adults don't even manage to do that right all the time, let alone the times ruby & james manage to do it in the show.

And they do things for eachother. Without being asked for it. They support each others dreams and goals. Actually, they just support each other period.

Ruby tries to get him back on the lacrosse team, when she realises how much it means to him and is willing to take the chance of her sounding stupid considering she was so against him in the beginning.

James is willing to help her out with anything she needs also at the risk of looking stupid.

Also: both of them except that they like the other as it's happening. They aren't trying to hide it. Neither from themselves, each other, nor from others.

Literally. From the very first moment on, through the whole show.

They like each other. And they are okay with that.

The moment ruby apologises they both feel the shift.

When James texts her afterwards about the dress photos, ruby doesn't get snarky, isn't mean to him just because he'd been petty before and didn't help them get the photos. She appreciates his efforts. She's kind, she's mocking him in a friendly (flirty) manner & he's giving it right back.

He doesn't mock her for being nice to him, for showing affection for him, doesn't try to use that against her (which happens far too often in enemy's to lovers type romances in my opinion), he shows the exact same affection back.

Honestly the whole car ride is a testament to that.

They talk. Are open to each other. Ruby doesn't feel ashamed or afraid when she catches herself rambling on about Oxford, she's clearly happy and at ease.

And that's partly because you can see in james face how happy it makes him to listen to her.

He likes hearing her talk about it and he has no intention of hiding it. Not from her, not from Percy.

Or when they get back & james tells ruby she isn't invisible anymore, not to him.

That's a declaration right there.

And he's doing it with all the confidence he has.

And he invites her to a party. A party with all his friends, where everybody can see them.

And ruby tells lin about it. And doesn't deny that she wants to go. She admits she wants to. And she does. She jumps over her own fear of being seen, throws herself right between all the people that would hate her most for being there with james.

At the party itself. They don't hide anything. They touch totally openly.

Or in school. They talk, flirt, touch. No sign of hiding any affection whatsoever.

Honestly I could write down almost every single moment from the first season, cause it's literally happening all the time.

Neither of them act like they can't stand the other while they clearly start to develop feelings.

They are open with their feelings. And I love that.

The main reason they break up/ have that big of a conflict in that regard at all, is because of james dad. Cause he threatens Ruby, which james can't let happen.

(And even then, james has a hard time selling the whole thing meant nothing to him and ruby isn't really buying it either. )

It never happens cause they're too stubborn or proud to admit they like eachother.

Cause they aren't. And I again, love that.

And the resolution at the end? They don't just get back together and that's it. Wooo, happy ending. Nope. They talk it out. Again. Lay it all out there. Make sure the other understands. Feels seen. Loved.

I just...

It just genuinely feels like a genuine relationship. Not just a stereotype. There are dimensions to it. Just like to the characters. And it's just so enjoyable to watch.

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 23

warnings: SMUT! 18+!, oral sex, handjob.

Part 23

"Have I already thanked you for agreeing to come with me?" Art asked after he entered the hotel where Liana was staying. His parents had also arrived. "You know I wouldn't miss you at the Olympics, right? And in London, no less!" She rolled her eyes because he hadn't stopped saying 'thank you' since the moment he bought the stupid ticket (which she wanted to pay for herself, but he didn't exactly ask her). "I love London. It's not a punishment or anything," she smiled genuinely.

Art smiled back, but he had known for some time that she loved him just as much as she loved London, and if he wanted to be arrogant, maybe even more than she loved London. And God knows how much he loves Liana. So why can't he talk to her about it? They talk about everything except that. They act like people who have been in a relationship for a decade. People whose dilemmas are about kids and home design. Why can't those be their real dilemmas? Has Art sentenced himself to a life beside Liana that will never be full and complete? Will he always have to settle for almost because he didn't insist on how ridiculous their agreement was?

"Can't wait to see all the places you love. All the buildings you told me about." His smirk widened into a real smile when he saw her face. Her eyes sparkled with excitement, and her cheeks reddened. She was truly the most beautiful person he knew. He can't believe he grew up beside her all his life and didn't realize how beautiful she was for half of it. "Maybe I shouldn't introduce you to Melissa, so you won't fall in love with her by mistake," she said in response, and he raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yes. I'm definitely capable of falling in love with your best friend," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as she swallowed. They both realized how loaded his statement was only after he said it. After all, Liana had been in love with his best friend. She was capable of that. It's not the same thing. He knows it's not the same thing. And yet. It's not far-fetched in their reality.

"Are you excited?" she abruptly changed the subject. "What's the worst that can happen? I'll lose in the first rounds with you and my parents in the audience, all of America watching me, and I'll become a meme. Just another Sunday," he lay down on the bed beside her, burying his head in her chest, letting her fingers run through his curls. "Or you'll win, and then win again and again," she said in response, and he chuckled. "What are the chances of that happening, Lia?" he sighed, afraid of disappointing so many people. "High. But in any case, you know I don't care, right?" she asked, moving his head a bit, making him look at her with wide eyes, absorbing every word she had to say. "I don't care as long as I know you're enjoying yourself and doing what you love to do. That's like the only reason I'm willing to watch you play tennis. Because I know you love it and it excites you. In any other scenario, fuck tennis," she shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing and moved again, allowing him to rest his head back on her soft chest. He could fall asleep like this. He had fallen asleep like this before.

"So if I quit tomorrow, you wouldn't care?" he asked without looking at her. Because he didn't plan to quit. He was far from it. He loved playing tennis. He loved seeing Liana in the audience. He loved winning. "I'd throw you a party," she replied, making both of them chuckle.

"I brought you something," she murmured, gently moving him again so she could get up. "It's not too much, so don't get too excited," she added as she rummaged through her suitcase and pulled out a box wrapped with a ribbon. "Lia, you shouldn't have." His hand found its way to his neck for a moment, unable to think clearly. His heart was beating irrationally. The fact that she thought of him enough to give him something for the tournament, even though she was already flying with him, gave him chills. "Don't be stupid, open it," she smiled. And for once, Art listened to what she told him to do instead of giving her instructions. "What is all this?" he muttered, not knowing what to focus on.

"Okay, the headphones are supposed to be really good. They're for listening to your meditations if you're with someone in the room, or the songs you like to listen to before games. The book is just because I know you might get bored in the Olympic Village between games or training or whatever, so you have something to pass the time. And there's this really silly picture my mom gave me two months ago. Art, have you seen it?" She talked so fast, and Art felt he could cry. "It's from that time you got a skateboard for your birthday," he stated, examining the framed picture. Liana and he were seven. He was holding his first racket in one hand and hugging Liana with the other. His cheeks were red, and his eyes were swollen. Liana, on her part, had her arms crossed, standing next to a small skateboard. She looked displeased.

"Yeah, and you cried and acted like a little bitch even though you got a racket for your birthday," she laughed heartily, and Art couldn't take his eyes off the picture in front of him. "I wanted to have what you had," he said honestly, remembering that feeling exactly. As a child, he couldn't let go of her at every shared moment. He followed her like he was her tail. Probably even then, he would have wagged if she asked him to. She never asked. "It's for you to put in your room because two and a half weeks is a long time, so you feel a bit at home. After that, I might want it back. It's too cute," Liana continued, partially ignoring what he said.

"Is that mine?" he suddenly asked, pulling out a simple white cap from the box. "Yes. Okay, it's weird, I know. But you had that period where you wore a backwards cap and really looked like a smug, annoying dickhead—" "Oh yes, I remember. You didn't stop telling me how much you hated all my caps," he rolled his eyes.

"Well...I lied," she said without blinking, and he looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "You looked really good with those silly caps. It was awful," she rolled her eyes. "And then there was one time I was at your house one summer, and you were in the pool, so I just took that cap. I thought maybe it would make you stop wearing them, but you just wore another one the next day. An insufferable person," she spoke quickly, as if the speed would make what she said less significant.

"When was that?" For every word she said quickly, he spoke his slowly, swimming in this moment. "The summer of age 16, like 10 years ago, I think?" she tried to remember. "Lia, did you have a crush on me when you were 16?" The familiar smirk spread across his face. "Oh, fuck off," she rolled her eyes, and he put the box on the bed beside him, stood up, and approached her. Wrapping her in a hug with his big hands.

"Thank you," he said quietly, feeling himself melt into her. "You know I've got your back, right? With or without tennis. You and I will be okay," she said, looking at him again. Art kissed her in response, unable to find any words other than 'I love you' (which he wasn’t allowed to say) to sum up the discussion.

After three weeks at the London Olympics, Art Donaldson won a silver medal in the doubles tournament and a gold medal in the singles, all while wearing a backwards white cap in every match. The kiss he gave Liana after his victory was captured everywhere. It was called 'iconic.' Nobody knew who Liana was, but she was the first person to receive his attention, and his parents or Tashi, who were sitting there, weren't surprised at all.

They said goodbye to his parents and decided to stay another week in London. This way, Art could meet some of Liana's friends and see places she loved. Besides, he could use a vacation. Tashi tried to resist, unsuccessfully. It was also Liana's birthday, and Art wanted to take her to a nice restaurant.

They sat next to each other at a bar in London, with some of Liana's school friends sitting across from them. Art connected with them instantly. In a flash. Overall, seeing Liana so immersed in her element, so social, was like exploring her anew. Discovering the person she had been all these years without him.

"Does anyone want something to drink?" he asked, and after everyone told him what they wanted and someone else went with him, Liana stayed with Melissa, who looked at her as if she had fallen from the moon. "You're so in love with him it's embarrassing. I don't know what this act is for," Melissa said the second everyone walked away. "There's no act, we're fine. He's my best friend," Liana shrugged and finished her drink. "Girl, I'm your best friend. The blond guy who looks at you like you hung the moon and sleeps with you most nights of the week, he's your boyfriend." Melissa almost laughed at the absurdity. There wasn't a single person around the table who even asked who Art was to Liana. It was obvious to everyone that he was her boyfriend. His hand was on her in a half-hug, so nonchalant, as if he was born in that exact position. As if he belonged right beside her.

"He doesn't look at me like-" Liana rolled her eyes. "What are you afraid of?" Melissa interrupted, not letting her continue deceiving herself. There isn't a person in the world (literally the whole world since their kissing photos were published) who thinks Liana is just Art's best friend. "I guess, I don't want to get hurt again," Liana murmured, looking at Melissa with a pitiable expression. "Oh, babes, sweetie, everyone gets hurt all the time. Who the fuck has the energy to be afraid of that?" She hugged her, a crushing hug. "I need to visit you more. You're losing it over there in America," she concluded as everyone returned to the table.

Art's hand returned to the same spot, only this time Liana's head rested on his shoulder, as if she was born right there as well.

Two days later, Art insisted they go to the restaurant he had reserved. "Art, we're going to celebrate at your parents' house in two weeks anyway. You're really overdoing it," she said when he just told her about his plans. "Hey, we never celebrate your birthday on the actual date. It feels unfair. Just let me spoil you for a bit," he looked at her with a gaze she found hard to refuse.

So, Liana found herself sitting next to him at a Michelin-starred restaurant, telling him occasionally that he was crazy for the amount of money he spent on this meal. Reminding him that there was no real reason for this extravagance. But every time Liana took a bite or sipped the wine, he saw her face change, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. He knew it wasn't a waste. He knew he had made the right decision, and he knew that tonight might take a turn very soon, so he decided to savor the good, certain moments as much as possible.

After they finished eating, Liana took him on a tourist bus tour, which made them both roll their eyes and laugh, feeling like kids again. They weren't bothered by the people asking to take pictures with Art. What did bother them was the rain that started to pour in August, causing them to catch a taxi to the hotel, drenched. "That was a really extreme ending to this evening," Liana said as they both laughed. "Thank you, Art, this was really over the top," she said, looking at him with a gaze that quickly changed from amused to grateful.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, Liana. Like, ever." He said, his gaze was piercing. Demanding. "Haven't you figured that out yet?" he mumbled and sighed. "Okay. No more thank yous. Do you want to shower with me?" she smiled, and his look filled with mischief as he moved towards her and unzipped her dress. They were under the warm water quickly, with Art gently moving her hair away from her face, and she closed her eyes. His hands were so rough from tennis, but his touch was soft.

"You're so beautiful, Lia. It's unbelievable that you're mine," he murmured, and she opened her eyes. He looked at her, too, and knew he had crossed some kind of line. Because they didn't say it out loud. They didn't say what everyone understood. They just acted like it, and Art was about to ruin it. Or change it. Or improve it. He was about to break it. "You're beautiful yourself," she replied, standing on her tiptoes and kissing him. He deepened the kiss immediately. And it wasn't hurried or sloppy; it was serious and mature and deep. They took their time, refusing to break apart until they ran out of air to share.

Art didn't know how he found himself on all fours before her again, but he loved looking up at her sometimes. When she looked back at him, and they both knew she had the power to destroy him, but she would never use it. And Art was beginning to believe he also had the power to destroy Liana, but he would never dream of using it. His mouth was on her pussy, and even as he explored her from within, he took his time, just as he had with her mouth earlier. And the sounds she made, which he was already used to but would never tire of, made him feel like he could come without her touching him at all. "Fuck, Artie, I'm close," and he loved when she called him that because it only happened when she was needy and coming and desperate and his, and he knew she was in that stupid state because of him, and she also knew he was the one making her feel so good, in such euphoria. And with that thought in his mind, he felt her come, half leaning on the wall and half on his shoulder as he held her shaking legs. "It's okay, baby, I've got you. Come for me. I'm here," he talked her through it, making her orgasm even more intense.

And after she recovered and managed to give him a handjob while they both giggled at her inability to function, they managed to shower and get dressed. "I have a present for you," he said suddenly, with his hand on his neck, knowing this was going to be a pivotal moment but staying calm. "Art, you're overdoing it. The meal was enou-" "Please, Liana, just let me give it to you," he interrupted her because he knew the arguments would come later anyway; right now, he needed her less combat ready.

"Okay," she mumbled, and he went to his suitcase, pulling out a small jewelry box. "Art, what is this?" Liana looked at it as if it were a contagious disease wrapped in a bow. "Relax, it's not a ring. But it might make you angry, and I want you not to be mad at me. Can you do that? Not be mad before you let me talk?" he said, playing with his fingers to steady himself as he spoke. "What's going on, Art?" her voice became more serious. Every note of amusement left it as he handed her the box and sat cross-legged on the bed in front of her.

She looked at the key inside and then at him with a raised eyebrow, feeling her heart pounding faster. "The house is ready," he said, not taking his eyes off her. "Actually, it's been ready for a few weeks. The designer finished completely." He continued, seeing that Liana didn't move for a second. Not even blink. "I'm moving there, and I want you to move in with me." His look was almost desperate. He was so afraid of her reaction, as if he knew she was about to shatter him. "Art, that's not what we agreed..." she said quietly, afraid to move. "Fuck it, Liana. We haven't been in what we agreed to for a long time. We haven't been friends with benefits from the minute we agreed on it. You know that." He closed his eyes and took a long breath. "You built that house. The interior design consists of your ideas too. You love that house, and Liana, I'm pretty sure you love me too, and if you don't say otherwise, then I just want you to agree to live with me. That will be the new agreement," he was desperate. His voice shook, and he didn't speak logically, but he tried to convey a point.

"That will be the new agreement?" she asked, biting her lip, and he could see she was giving in. "Yes. The new agreement will be that we're in love and live together in the house we built for ourselves." He moved closer to her, his voice steadier as he kissed her neck and heard her sigh. "I can't pay for that house, Art. It cost you an insane amount of money," she mumbled. "Liana, the money doesn't matter to me. I have more money. Just what I earned from the Olympics covers that house. I'm not broke in any way." He tried to dramatize that this was the last thing that mattered to him.

"Okay," she said after a few seconds of silence, surprising him. Making him move back a bit and look at her. "Okay?" he asked, confused. He honestly thought it would take him more time. That he would have to twist and convince her.

"Yes, I think we can be in love and live together in a beautiful house. It's something we can handle," she shrugged and started to smile. "So I can say I love you without fearing you'll run away from me?" he continued, not believing he didn't have to struggle. "You already stated that I love you, so I think it would be fair if you also say you love-" He didn't let her finish the sentence before he kissed her. "Happy birthday, Liana Levy. I love you," he smiled into her mouth.

'Happy birthday Amanda, I miss you' will probably be the first message Liana sees when she opens her phone in the morning, but that's a worry for another day. Today, she's celebrating the best birthday she's ever had, probably because she's finally celebrating it on the actual date.

Hey guyssss, how are we doing? Let me know what you think as always, it literally makes my day. Also, send me more requests for blurbs. I love them and I will do at least another one between this and the next chapter. Patrick will come back to us. I just needed Art and Liana to be more stable at this point. Hope you're still enjoying it <3 

taglist (if anyone wants to join, just ask): @suzysface tqd4455 @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[noraigo]

some days ago, i started watching we are the series, since a friend of mine tried to convince me for a long time to tune in. we are isn’t exactly the type of series i would watch. not disregarding its charm, i must admit it’s even endearing, i’m just more keen on the angsty, adult queer love. however, there’s a certain couple that’s been running nonstop in my mind ever since i started the series and, of course, it’s no other than tan and fang.

tan is certainly unique as a whole, because if anything — i think it’s the first time i see such a loud but not annoying character, and that’s hard to portray. his excitement seems genuine all the time and i feel his happiness is shared through the screen. that doesn’t brush off his emotional intelligence and i think people underestimate this trait of his: just because he seems silly and party-loving doesn’t mean that he is insensible. he can be serious if it’s needed and he cares for the people around him. it’s safe to say that cheerful characters are often overlooked because of it and, as viewers, we shouldn’t take it for granted.

fang, on the other side, is the total opposite of him, yet it doesn’t make him less interesting. his background is implied to be unstable, which made both phum and fang be more closed off emotionally speaking. even so, fang is trying his best to be on the same page as tan, though tan adores him when he’s serene and quiet. most of the time, characters like fang are misunderstood and it’s a little saddening. he is kind and tough, but it’s not hard to love him. something tan understood from the very beginning.

their dynamics keep me pushing watching the series. now that fang has been softening more and more, their scenes became even lovelier to watch, if that was ever possible; their kisses, clear eyes of infatuation, playful banters and words of love show it. i’m not a fan of sex scenes, they underwhelm me a little (might be the acespec in me), but tanfang’s was just perfect. not too much, not too little. just enough to show that these two desire each other. possibly, it could be not their first time as a couple, which is refreshing and new in thai queer shows as far as i've seen. (aouboom definitely enjoyed kissing and touching each other a little too much but, didn't the same happen with hidden agenda? just saying.)

people like them could be too much for others, but for each other, they are an absolute match. fang knows tan loves him unconditionally and so does tan. tan tries to push him for the better without overstepping his boundaries whilst fang apologizes if his behavior might be irrational when he’s angry and accidentally lashes out on tan. that’s actual respect and patience in a relationship. none of them are trying to change the other to fit their own personality, they have already changed once they realized they were into each other back then when they were problematic teens. ain’t that sweet?

just look at these sweet two blorbos, just in their own world, happy and in love.

on another note, though, i’ve gotten to know aouboom since viceversa era and i could already smell the cute chemistry between both, yet it’s very sad to know they suffer from secondary couple syndrome. how many series have they starred in as a second or even third couple? very unfair, gmmtv, you better give them a nice series, regardless of its length. as long as they don’t keep acting in college settings, i would give my entire scholarship for a coffee shop or any other ordinary plot. they are just THAT good and i will never get tired of their chemistry. they have a kind of spark i see very rarely and if gmm doesn’t give them a shot, they’re losing a potential gem.

please, give us more tanfang content and especially, an aouboom series. thank you very much.

[3minsover]

AUgust Day 30:

steve tries to employ his ‘act like you don’t care’ method when he realizes he has a crush on eddie.

it’s about a month or so after vecna, and the party are more inseparable than they’ve ever been, older teens included, and eddie’s settled in like he’s been one of the gang since day one.

the moment steve realizes that old familiar fluttering in his stomach, the telltale thrum of blood rushing to his cheeks as eddie plucks out nameless tunes on his acoustic or asks steve if he wants to come over to get high or watch a movie, steve knows exactly what’s happening. it doesn’t scare him as much as he thought it would, falling for one of his best friends, especially not one who’s a guy. he doesn’t really know the protocol for a situation such as this, but some habits die hard, and something in steve’s brain is still hardwired to receive that hit of endorphins and return to the routines of old.

thing is, steve’s never put on this show when there’s another guy involved. with girls, he can be cool and suave and just the right side of dismissive until he has them begging to be even offered a palm to eat out of.

but eddie’s different. both in that he’s a guy, and steve’s pretty sure this same move isn’t going to work on him, but also, eddie’s different. eddie’s something special. something that feels like the first splash of rainfall after a drought. eddie has him yearning in a way he’d never thought himself even capable. and as fiercely as he longs to just grab eddie by the face and kiss the mischievous grin from his lips in the hopes it makes his insides smile too, steve brushes eddie off just as much. he waves quick, flippant ‘hey’s (but he longs to furl eddie up in a hug, bury his face in the collar of his leather jacket), he blinks away eddie’s jokes with just the practiced hint of a smirk (though he wishes he’d just let himself laugh), he offers backhanded compliments (when he’s desperate to tell eddie he has the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen, and that he wants them to be the first thing he sees in the morning until the day he dies).

eddie shrugs it all off for a couple weeks with only a twitching narrow of his eyes, a deliberate, searching stare.

steve thinks maybe, just maybe, this has worked.

until eddie confronts him about it.

“hey, did i do something?”

“what?”

“did i- you’ve been- you got a problem with me?”

“why would you- what? no!” steve tries to protest, but eddie barrels on, sounds just so demoralised it’s hard to listen to.

“look, if you don’t like me being around or whatever, just say it, man. i can’t take all this cold shoulder shit anymore.”

steve blinks hard, dumbfounded, with the sinking realization that his trademark move hadn’t worked - if anything, it’d done the exact opposite of what he hoped. steve had felt that electricity with every glance at eddie, but he now fears he’s crossed some wires somewhere, and it was the spark of faulty cables, rather than the fizz of something mutual. and if steve’s plan has backfired, the only thing left for him to do is come clean.

“i don’t have a problem with you. i mean, i guess i kinda do have a problem with you, but- but!” steve preempts eddie’s inevitable crestfallen sigh with the raise of his pointer fingers, both staying and apologetic all at once. “but it’s not a problem you caused. it kinda is but it’s also not. shit i used to be so good at this. i have a problem with you because i don’t know what to do with you. i don’t know how to be around you without- without- you’re always so- so alive and fun and sweet and just looking at you makes me want to scream into my pillow, but in like, a good way? and my heart gets all- and your eyes are just- so. i guess i got a problem with you, because i… want you to be my problem. i want you- uh. yeah.”

eddie is silent for a long moment, and steve can almost see each of his words slotting into place behind eddie’s eyes. “steve. i… i’m not gonna do us both the disservice of pretending i understood all of what you just said, but i think i got the highlights?”

steve rakes a minutely trembling hand through his hair, finding anything to break up the sudden stillness.

“you did? cause even i feel like I’ve talked myself round in circles here.”

“i think so. let me get this straight. you… think i’m fun?”

“yup.”

“looking at me makes you want to-”

“scream into my pillow, yeah.”

“oh- oh okay. noted. and um, you,” eddie starts slowly, seems to be feeding the words out carefully like it’ll spook steve to hear them from another mouth but his own. “you want me to be your problem.” steve swallows, inhales deep, and nods.

“yeah. cause, i guess to me it wouldn’t really be a problem. it would- that would be something i wanted. you’re- something i wanted- want. god, this is harder than i thought.” steve chuckles nervously and eddie just stares, mouth hanging just a little open.

“but you…” eddie starts, brows knitting in confusion, “you don’t like me. you barely talk to me even though i wanna talk to you whenever you’re around, even when i’m trying to make you laugh you hardly even smile, and i try to make you laugh like, all the time- oh.” something flashes in eddie’s eyes as he stops himself dead in the middle of his sentence. “oh my god. you- you were- shit, dustin talked my ear off about this; act like, uh, like you don’t care, huh?”

steve’s already burning cheeks threaten to start giving off smoke, and he’s about ready to hotfoot it out the door and disappear forever, but then eddie smiles, and it’s one of those devilish, smirky, sparkling smiles that steve loves.

“you got me, harrington,” eddie admits on an exhale. “you got me good with that. got me hooked.”

steve winces a little, tries to smile back.

“i did?”

“shit, yeah. you’re better than i thought.” eddie chuckles giddily; it makes steve smile for real.

“so, i can admit that i actually do like you now? that i’ve been crushing on you for like, months?”

taking a step closer and placing his palms flat against steve’s chest, eddie drops his voice low, “yeah, yeah you can. because then i can say i like you back.”

turns out steve’s plan had worked, just not in the way he expected. but nothing with eddie ends up how steve expected, and that’s just one addition to the list of things he loves about him. that list will grow longer as the years pass, a never-ending record of things to love.

steve’ll apologize for the whole mind game thing later, but for now, he simply rests his hands over eddie’s, and tips his head forward until their foreheads touch. he whispers, “hey, eddie. i really like you. let me take you on a date sometime?”

and eddie whispers back, “hey, stevie. i like you a hell of a lot too. and yeah, obviously - thanks for finally asking.”

[srovtl]

(Tea Etiquette Lecture) Figaro SR Card Story Translation

The answer is two-sided? - Episode 1

Figaro: Hey, Bradley. Do you want more tea? I'll pour you some.

Bradley: What? I want nothing from you.

Figaro: Don't worry, I didn't put anything weird in it. Here you go.

Bradley: Ah, hey… aaand, he poured without listening.

Figaro: Okay. Now that we've set the stage for a chat… Bradley.

Figaro: The game we all just played earlier. "Tell each other what we like about each other" game. Why don't we do it with just the two of us this time?

Bradley: Can't.

Figaro: Why not?

Bradley: Because there's not even a single thing I like about you. I can list tons of stuff I hate about you though.

Figaro: Then let's go with that. "Tell each other what we don't like about each other" game.

Bradley: Why, exactly...

Bradley: Anyway, there's no way you, with your high pride, could handle this game.

Figaro: Don't worry, I'm the kind doctor from the south. And this game does have its merits.

Figaro: A lot has happened between you and me... but as long as we are both sage's wizards, we need to get somewhat along or else Master Sage will be in trouble, right?

Figaro: So if I ask you what you hate and fix it if necessary, maybe we can build a more friendly relationship.

Bradley: Hah, you're still as articulate as ever. Bet it's just a way to kill time anyway.

Bradley: ...You were the one who brought it up, you better not snap at me no matter what I say.

Figaro: Of course. Well then, let's get started. You go first.

The answer is two-sided? - Episode 2

Bradley: …….

Bradley: I hate the way you pretend to be a good guy. Your nature is arrogant and cold-hearted, but you act all silly and call yourself the doctor from the south.

Bradley: It's the same now. It's creepy that you'd go out of your way to pour me tea.

Figaro: Creepy? How mean.

Figaro: The current me is the kind Doctor Figaro. I can't just leave someone be alone at a party.

Bradley: Hah, I say this, you say that. You should fix that cunning part of you too.

Bradley: Learn from the simplicity of the people in the north and Oz.

Figaro: ...Haha, I see.

Figaro: Now I understand how you see me. Thanks for letting me know.

Figaro: Well, I think I'll go back to the others.

Bradley: Hey, what about your turn? Since when are you the type to just accept getting told off.

Figaro: I'm fine. Even if I told you, you wouldn't change anything...

Figaro: And now I know what you like about me.

Bradley: Ha?

Figaro: You know, they say that hate is the opposite of love. In other words, you like me when I act like a northerner, don't you?

Figaro: Plus, you think of me as special among the wizards you know because I am the only one who can match you in conversation skills. 

Bradley: You...

Bradley: Gotta fix that part more than anything. 

Figaro: Hmm, I don't think that's possible.

Figaro: When I see this face on you, I don't want to fix it anymore.

Tell me what you like about me - Card Episode

Figaro: Master sage, the game we played at the tea party the other day was fun, wasn't it?

Figaro: You know, the one where we tell each other what we like about each other.

Akira: You mean the one Arthur suggested! I got embarrassed a little, but it was fun.

Figaro: I wish I could have asked you what you like about me, Master sage.

Akira: Huh, what I like about Figaro?

Akira: Hmm...

Figaro: Oh, you have to squeeze one out?

Akira: Ah, sorry! No, not at all.

Akira: Actually, there's a lot I like about you, so I'm not sure where to start...

Figaro: I see. I want to hear everything then. I'll wait as long as you want, so just tell me about it all.

Akira: Very well. Umm... I like how you're always calm and dependable...

Akira: Also, when I'm feeling anxious, you notice right away and gently listen to me.

Akira: Also, you always keep a close attention to your surroundings, and give me advice on things I haven't noticed, and also...

Figaro: ……

Akira: Hm, is something wrong?

Figaro: Sorry, it's nothing. I just never thought you'd praise me this much.

Figaro: Thank you. For me, I like how you can praise others so honestly, Master Sage.

Homescreen voiceline

I was wondering if there was ever a person who can bring this group of a little too colorful personalities together…. Master Sage, seriously who are you? Haha, just kidding. Thanks as always.

[shorthaltsjester]

i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:

selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness 

selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves. 

in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's). 

it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party. 

you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.

as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.

the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.

as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).

all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:

“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”

would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!

[agentrouka-blog]

Dany fan here: I think other Dany fans think Jonsas are over the top with Dany hate because of pol!Jon. I follow many Jonsas because I’m perfectly fine with Jonsa. It’s not for me but I see the vision. That said I’m a bit of an unusual Dany fan in the sense that I’m a big fan of the Meereenese Knot essays and think the interpretation of Dany presented there is pretty spot on. I personally think Dany has a good heart but that circumstance and experience and terrible coping mechanisms have led her to act in villainous ways and whether or not a character is a villain is determined by their actions regardless of whatever goodness is in their heart. But anyway I do not like the pol!Jon theory. I think it’s out of character for Jon and needlessly cruel to Dany. I think it’s possible that he ultimately kills her and that could be fine and I don’t reject that theory, but I think the idea of Jon deceiving and sexually abusing Dany and then killing her for the sake of Sansa is what Dany fans think of when they think of over the top hate because they assume every Jonsa shipper also believes in pol!Jon.

I do understand why people thought Jon was deceiving Dany in the show though because their relationship was just so poorly executed and Kit and Emilia had no chemistry on screen. Imagine fucking up your show’s romance so badly that people think the script confirming that the love was mutual must have been tampered with.

Hi there!

(I think Dany is a compelling tragic villain, and it's lovely seeing someone loving her for it!)

I do think that pol!Jon (under duress, esentially) is a not unreasonable theory that grew out of the way the show presented their relationship. If there was sexual abuse I think it's fair to say it was in the hands of the more powerful party, though.

That said, I don't see it happening that way in the books at all and I think all characters will be better off for it. I agree it wouldn't feel right.

Certainly not in a punitive "you thought he would love you but he really loves Sansa, now die!!!" way. That cheapens jonsa as much as it cheapens the complexity of the conflict between Dany and Jon.

It's just a deeply uninteresting way to explore their existing conflict or their respective strengths. Not to be a hater but it's not exactly riveting literature watching Dany be manipulated by Daario and it's unlikely to be more so in a repeat performance with Jon who isn't even her type. Same as watching Jon go through a repeat of the abusive Ygritte plotline would be less than compelling.

We'll have instances of romantic manipulation. Littlefinger is practically begging Sansa to use his own obsession against him, and Arya gives us a preview when she lures Raff to his death wearing "Mercy's" face. That's been set up since the first book, and it works as a satisfying response to the way everyone has been telling Sansa how weak and simple she is. It's very personal, very steeped in their respective histories, very poetic.

But for Jon and Dany I think we can expect something more universal and even-handed than that. They are both at varying points manipulative and earnest, highly clever or unexpectly outmaneuvered. And neither will be in this conflict all alone and without advice. Not to mention, we have both of their POVs and watching one just miss all the clues of the other manipulating them would be flat. This only ever works with one POV withheld. The show tried that with Jon Snow live on the screen, to disastrous results. No way is that GRRM's plan.

I'd rather watch two clever adversaries play a big game of chess. And given GRRM's love for that game, I am certain it's also what he would prefer to write.

[ateez-himari]

[Archive] 'Tunnel' by Mingi - The Story

...

"It was tough for me to see a single letter so I sent it all away, I guess I can't get used to being left alone..."

It had been weeks since every single one of their interactions was inevitably cut short by the man's cold responses, the widening void in their friendship slowly tearing at the young woman's already fragile heart. To the audience it was undoubtedly a result of dating rumors circulating through social platforms yet she knew better than to fall under this belief, than to dumb down her friend's suddenly dismissive behavior to not wishing to be mistaken for her romantic interest.

'Mingi can I come in...' She asked sheepishly, a trembling hand giving her bandmate's door a light knock. 'We need to t-'

Without giving the anxiety riddled maknae a chance to explain the reason behind such a sudden intrusion the door swung open to reveal the man's annoyed expression, silently motioning for her to come in with a singular nod of his head. They had spent around two years building a close connection to one another yet now she stood awkwardly in front of his bed where he took a seat, fidgeting with the edges of a sweater he had let her borrow and was now long forgotten.

'So what do you want ?' He asked plainly, looking off to the side of the room. 'Can you make this quick...I was planning on going out soon.'

'Why have you been acting like a complete asshole lately ?' She blurted out, the honesty behind her question taking both parties aback. 'I mean...all of a sudden you just start ignoring me, not even talking to me unless you really have to...did I do something ?'

From sunrise to sunset, this moment... Why is my heart so void ?

With a clench of his jaw the man ran a ringed hand across his pursed lips, a heavy silence settling across the room whilst he looked for a way to phrase his answer though still not making an effort to meet her saddened eyes. The young woman however did not seem to have the same control over the emotions screaming inside her mind, all competing for dominance over one another, as she kept blinking to keep warm tears at bay.

'You're just too clingy.' Mingi finally spoke up. 'This is exactly why people start dating rumors...because you can't seem to stay away from me for a single second. I mean come on there's seven other members, can't you go bother one of them ?'

Everything I said was a lie... Everything right at this moment.

Deep down he wished to take the group's youngest into his arms, beg for her forgiveness regarding all the times he had made that beautiful smile falter, yet pushing her away seemed to be the only way to protect them both. Despite acting like he held not a singular regard towards how she felt, he could tell that the influx of negativity was slowly wearing her down and he could not let rumors about their alleged relationship contribute to this weight - no matter how much he wished for them to be true.

I gotta get outta fucking love...

'I just...' Too choked up to form more than a few words, Himari simply lowered her head. 'I'm sorry, this is my fault.'

The man's resolve was rapidly growing thin, the more rational parts of his conscience pleading for him to just explain everything, fully aware that she would understand, yet his tongue seemed to find harsher words by the moment. It had been months now since the realization that it was no longer simply friendship but love that he felt for the vocalist dawned on him, months since he had promised himself to do whatever was necessary to never let his heart feel this way.

'I knew adding a girl to this group was a mistake.' He spat out, a lump forming in his throat. 'If you got nothing else to say then get out, my hiatus is soon and I have to pack.'

I let you go like nothing happened... But then at the end of it all a piece of you still lingers.

Not willing to let tears fall in front of him no matter how deeply every single one of his coldly spoken statements cut, the young woman hurried out of the room and into the one she shared with the two oldest members. Within a moment of shutting the door her body slid down against the wooden surface, knees curling up to her chest as poorly silenced sobs echoed through the empty dorm.

Now left completely alone with the guilt of what he had just done, the rapper angrily hurled a nearby book at the wall as tears of his own stained the hand he had brought over his face. Everything aspect of his head was in complete disarray and nothing made sense anymore, not the reason behind his rash decisions, not the harshness of his words, not even his feelings towards someone he had sworn to their manager would never be anything more than a bandmate.

It will be empty, hopefully Then it will be filled again, even if it hurts. I'll eventually have to face reality I'm sure that it was just a dream deep inside my heart.

Himari would never find out that most of his hiatus was filled with days drowned in alcohol to forget everything that had taken place between them, to forget how much he wished to kiss her delicate lips and apologize a hundred times over.

Mingi would never be told the amount of days during which she had been woken up by anxiety induced nightmares believing that his mental struggles were her own fault, nor would anyone dare to mention the psychological diagnosis sitting on her desk where 'major depressive episode' was permanently engraved in ink.

At first the rapper's phone would light up with messages from the maknae every few days about the smallest things, though the fear of saying something stupidly hurtful stopped him from ever replying. In the midst of the hiatus' timeline however her name no longer appeared at the top of his screen in the morning and neither were aware of how often the other's finger hovered over their contact.

A/N: Please note that this in no way depicts the real reasons behind Mingi's hiatus (or his personality) nor is it the song's true meaning! It is simply a work of fiction and should be read as such. Thank you! ♡

[bg3fandomcritical-active]

Why do I care about the ascended kisses if I’ll never play that route?

Astarion was my favorite character when the game came out; to be honest, I bought the game because of him. I played his romance, his spawn route, and his ascended route as well (as most Astarion fans do), and he has been in my party when I romanced other characters too. Now, a year later, I dislike him greatly and he never leaves camp.

A significant part of my resentment and change of opinion stems from how annoying his fanbase is. I know that spawn fans can be annoying too, but honestly, their issues were always around a few specific things (the dock scene, etc.), and Larian never delivered anything. Spawn fans would show up once in a while, ask for something, and nothing would really happen.

But dear God, A!Astarion stans are both annoying and militant in their approach. There are dozens of threads on the Larian forums, direct bullying of other fans, etc. Everyone knows they systematically organized and spammed the Larian Discord feedback channel for days. The same thing happened with the candle issue. It's not just annoying; it reached a point where I felt ashamed to be an Astarion fan.

This brings me to the second point of why I care about the kiss being adjusted, even though I don’t even use Astarion’s character: this isn’t how a studio that won Game of the Year should behave. Compared to other games of the same caliber (Elden Ring, Alan Wake, Zelda), Baldur's Gate 3 is a buggy mess. Sometimes I feel like the state of the game is a disgrace to other game developers who have managed to create great games without breaking your PC with every patch.

There are actual unfinished quests in Act 3 and storylines that do not make sense. There are severely underdeveloped characters (Wyll, Halsin, Karlach, Minthara) who aren’t receiving the same treatment as Astarion. In fact, not even the actual most popular character (Shadowheart) is getting the attention Astarion is receiving. Finally, we have the Larian social media team making fun of the Durgetash shippers for asking for a canon kiss while spending the past year tweaking Ascended Astarion because a small fraction of the player base kept requesting it. What’s the difference between the two groups exactly?

I care about the kiss change because it serves as a prime example of everything that is wrong with Larian.

.

[muninnhuginn]

just generally musing to myself what makes thematic and plot sense for the link clink ending after reading some other people's takes the past few days. no real conclusions here, just some thoughts tied together with a string.

I've seen arguments that what needs to happen is that Lu Guang needs to accept Cheng Xiaoshi's fate and move on without regrets. This idea that the past has to remain as-is and you have to move on is a thread that the show has played with quite a few times. It's written into the very rules underlying the dives. The most obvious instance being the earthquake arc, where Cheng Xiaoshi was unable to save Chen Xiao's mum, but he *was* able to deliver the messages and thereby help CX gain closure. It's laid out by Lu Guang that it *was* worth it to deliver the words, and Cheng Xiaoshi takes this conclusion with him when he confronts Emma. (Of course, the fact this lesson was given by *Lu Guang* casts a different shade over the whole affair. I don't think it can be entirely discarded, given LG even admits he's going against his own rules, but it reads more like something he's trying and failing to convince himself of.)

So, the past has to stay as it is. We see a few different approaches to this idea in s2 - of people refusing to move on and trying to change the past. Qian Jin wants to force his wife "not to cheat"; he wants to alter her behaviour because she didn't act as he wanted. Li Tianchen wanted to change how *he* acted back then, even if indirectly, because he sees himself as his mother's killer, and thinks this is the point at which his tragedy was locked into place. They both thought their 'tragedies' were down to a single event. It's not that simple.

Lu Guang wants to personally protect Cheng Xiaoshi by controlling all scenarios. Not exactly taking his will, but limiting his choices. There's probably a whole post to be made on how QJ/LTC/LG each approach the agency of the ones they want to protect, but that's not for now.

Anyway, Li Tianchen as the foil to Lu Guang. At the end of s2, he has in theory let go of Li Tianxi but in practice he's just burying himself deeper by following Liu Xiao. Trying to entirely shun the past so he can believe that he still has some element of control. Both LTC and LG are at the extreme ends of clinging on vs letting go and that means the correct answer has to lie somewhere in the middle. Not shunning the past, but accepting it, and using that resolve to move forward.

So, Liu Xiao. We don't have much on him but what we do have is his belief that uncertainties should become certainties. He's deterministic and set explicitly as the counter to Lu Guang, whose own aim is to change events rather than lock them into place. They both want to *control* all aspects, but for differing reasons. In fate vs free will, it makes sense that our protagonist is on the side of free will, but it's interesting that he's presented himself so much as the opposite previously. He and CXS haven't exactly switched places, but to the audience, they've definitely taken on traits of the other.

Liu Xiao's whole spiel about how all options will eventually lead to the same outcomes, with him set *against* Lu Guang, very much seems like it's a setup for a "defeat fate" type plotline though. It's hammered in that there is no escape, no other option. Are we expected to accept this? It doesn't seem so. It's something I'm struggling to reconcile somewhat with the earlier messages about accepting the past, but maybe that's not quite it. Maybe it's about control vs freedom?

Trust fall. Every dive with LG and CXS is an act of mutual trust where they need to act in tandem. Dives go astray when one party acts without the other. For CXS, this is about him acting against LG's instructions (texting Emma's parents, staying in the earthquake dive). For LG, this is about him withholding info because he doesn't trust how CXS will react.

Lu Guang needs to put his trust in CXS before his withholding of information creates an unresolvable rift. He needs to stop trying to control CXS in order to keep him safe. We saw how that spun out for Li Tianchen and Li Tianxi. LG needs to put the choice into Cheng Xiaoshi's hands and let him decide his own fate. It reminds me of how Cheng Xiaoshi laid everything out for Emma and let her decide whether to live. It was only outside interference that prevented her, but she did make the choice to survive. And she did it by remembering those small moments. By accepting that tragedy happens but there are still people that make it worth it.

For LG and CXS, they need to mutually trust each other and that's how they'll find their way through.

[rpgchoices]

Dark Urge fixed some of the problems I had with act 3

This post has SPOILERS. BIG SPOILERS for both Baldur's Gate 3 and Dark Urge. If you check my tag dark urge I previously wrote an act 1 + act 2 summary of what to expect from it, without any spoilers. Without spoilers, very briefly: expect to have a past you cannot control (of course), your character will say some messed up stuff, you can give in the urges or resist but there are at least two scenes you have no control over, you do get loot for giving in the urges, the story has more mystery and lore, act 3 is the culmination of Dark Urge story too and you can have a happy ending.

Now with SPOILERS

I will go over the acts and write down what extra content happens when you compare Dark Urge to Tav, with BIG SPOILERS. If you want to see why I think Dark Urge is so much better for the story, skip everything and go directly to act 3. A general big change is that as Dark Urge you automatically get the "Baldurian" dialogue because you are from Baldur's Gate.

Act 1: In act 1 there is little Dark Urge content but an introduction. I kind of wish the game had just gone with DU (Dark Urge) instead of Tav directly, to hide the secret better, but I also like Tav a lot and I don't always want to play as an ex-murderer. Still, if you roleplay well the idea is that DU has these violent urges and think they are caused by the tadpole. So you will have to ask your companions about it, and the suspicion remains for half of act 1, at least until you give in the first obligatory urge. The narration oftens tells you that DU wants blood and carnage, wants to feel life slipping away and, well, wants to murder, and you can give in these urges (ex. attack people, bite someone's toe off, kill Gale?? or at least cut his hands) or avoid these urges. Everything else is exactly the same, a part from the fact that DU has a REASON for being on the Nautilus. While Tav is just one of the random people the Nautilus has taken, DU is the one who was put there on purpose.

There are two big events in act 1 and some smaller ones. You can kill a squirrel, but it did not trigger for me, so I don't think it is an obligatory event, but you will kill a bard. Alfira will come to your camp after you sleep a n amount of nights, and she will want to join your party. This happens even if you had not met Alfira in the game. During the night DU will brutally kill her and at this point you can hide the body, or confess your crimes, up to you how open with them. I always chose the option to confess. If you confess immediately you will have a group chat with your party and you can defend yourself (ex. I don't know how it happened but I must have been the one who killed her), or you can wash the blood and then volunteer the information the next morning when the body is found. There is actually a metagaming way to save Alfira… when you get the night scene, reload to the save before, go to Alfira, use the incapacitate instead of the killing option (in actions) and knock her out. Because she is knocked out, the next night a new bard NPC will come to your camp and will be murdered, but not Alfira.

After the murder you will meet the butler. It is immediately clear this is a magical being, and he knows you. He knows DU likes to kill, and he is surprised if DU refuses to give in the urges or even feels guilty for what he had done. You will also get an amazing cloak that turns a character invisible after a kill (it is great for Astarion's sneak attacks).

For the rest of act 1 there is little more content. You can talk minimally with your party about what happened or your urges, but that is it.

ACT 2: In the underdark and during the mountain pass there is no real content, but stuff starts happening at Moonrise Tower. You will meet characters who suddenly knows who you are. They are pretty cryptic about it, but they talk to you as if you were one of them who suddenly disappeared. It really feels like coming, well, almost home. Ketheric remembers you, even the jailer remembers you. There is also a cat in Moonrise Tower who is scared of you and if you talk with them DU WILL kill the cat, so be mindful to avoid talking with cats in the Tower. The skeleton dog from Ketheric room? He also remembers you and your smell.

When you put your hand in the cracks of the wall and hear the brain you will also get new and different dialogue.

After you meet Isobel, you will see your butler again and he tells you that to have a real gif this time you will have to kill Isobel. The quest will be there but you do not need to complete it. If you do not complete it, the butler will come back at night after the Moonrise Tower fight. This is where he asks you to kill your lover (in my case it was Astarion). He tries to convince you and if you say no, this is also where you find out that you cannot really control the urge - you will have to pass a wisdom check to take enough control to wake up your lover and tell them what is happening. At this point, they will tie you up because you are not in control anymore. You can pass 3 wisdom checks to try and thank them, or you can give in the urge but it does not look like there is any difference here but dialogue. The next morning you will have an extra talk with your lover and the party as well.

At this point it looks like the butler abandoned you because you failed your Dark Urge quest.

Another small thing, while under Moonrise Tower you can explore a bit and you will find one of the pod that smells like your blood and other small traces and hints to the fact that someone wanted to get rid of you and that is why you ended up on the nautilus.

Act 3: Act 3 is where most of the stuff gets resolved and things really come together. Orin targets you because you are family, you are her brother. She hates you because you were the Bhaal chosen one. My favourite part is that this really explains why the Chosen three's plan is failing. You were supposed to be Bhaal's chosen, not Orin. Multiple characters (Gortash and Sarevok) comments on how you were such a better Chosen because Orin is fickle, that is why she turns against Gortash. Gortash and Orin against each other always confused me during my Tav game, mainly because it felt so unexplained - like, they were so close to their goal, why is everything crumbling? Because she was never supposed to assume that role. She grew jealous of DU, chosen of Bhaal, and got rid of him by inserting the tadpole in his brain and discarding him.

When you talk with Gortash you also gets even more insight. It is clear that Gortash likes you, that is why is asking for an alliance. Not to a random adventurer called Tav, but to his old ally and friend. You and Gortash basically devised the whole plan, YOU took the crown, you were a fundamental part of it. And suddenly you stopping it (or taking control of the brain) for me had so much more meaning. While playing Tav I always wondered why is Tav even in charge, but when I played DU it really seemed like this was THEIR mess to fix. The confrontation at the temple of Bhaal is the end of the DU storyline which also wraps up why Withers was even with you.

You confront Orin and after you kill her you will meet your father Bhaal, who will ask you to become his chosen again. You can agree, and then at the end you will be able to claim the brain in Bhaal's name. But if you refuse, and give in the guilt for having murdered so many people (before your amnesia), Bhaal will take back his blood and leave you dead on the ground. At this point Withers will come in (and we know Withers is Jergal, the god of death before the Three) and will revive you. You will be born anew, your past is lost because the urge in you had been taken away but the memories with it. You can ask him about those memories too and he says that he can show you the names of your victims if you so desire. You are also a blank slate, a new person born from what you have learnt in your journey instead of your past. So yeah, you can have a good hopeful ending.

More importantly, this fell so well in the themes of BG3 especially the ones of being born again, changing and gods fighting for their chosen. Like Selune and Shar were fighting for Shadowheart, your character was also in the middle of a play of gods. Given Withers was with you since the start, it really feels like he was aiding you not at random, but because you were an escaped chosen one who could be stolen from Bhaal. And being born again and getting rid of your master/tormentor/powerful god/dictator fits so well. ALL your origin companions are in a certain measure subjected to absence of freedom or imbalance of power.

(Also before the Bhaal mission, but after the lover's personal quest you will have the option to break up with them and worry about the danger of killing them, which gives you an extra cute scene).

After the Bhaal mission there is no more content for DU and everything else seemed the same!

[argonautsoul]

The need for “positive thinking” is itself a negative thought.

The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

“Creating your reality is about so much more than ‘positive thinking’. So much of what we chose is based on habits, behaviors, beliefs that you are unconscious of. This is why a lot of people use “law of attraction” and end up feeling worse.”

Maryam Hasnaa

Both “happiness” (an emotional state, or “affect” in psychology) and “positive outlook” (an attitude or mindset) have to be cultivated and nurtured over time. They can’t be learned or acquired in a hurry.

And even if it is possible to “flood” yourself with these it may be covering up some underlying issue for now. A temporary fix at best.

Our negative emotions are the result of our biases and prejudices (fears).

And the more you intend to control the more you build resistance which then creates a vicious circle you trap yourself in. 

Negative doesn’t means something that is “against”. Negative means “the lack of” or “less”. Negative energy is really just less positive energy, and this is why the electricity is able to flow… because what is exceeding will naturally move to where is less… the plus and minus ions are not exactly different. 

Negativity is there for a reason. It is to move the world, to balance it.

Something bad happens to you? Perhaps you can use it to strengthen yourself, to improve yourself.

Meaning often stems from difficult things, which leave many negative feelings in their wake.

The truth is negative emotions are unavoidable, there is no perfect state that lasts forever, there is no nirvana, once you realize that a huge weight lifts off your shoulders because you realize there is no great party that you're missing out on, we're all in the same boat and from that comes empathy.

Empathy means we can feel others' pain, and are willing to help them feel better.

The more we aware of our flaws, vices and misdeeds, the more our empathy for others grows. When we are in love, our partner’s problems become our very own. That is empathy. You will do anything to help anyone that you love.

Many of us lack empathy, some will only do nice things for you if it makes them feel good about themselves. (Never because they love or care for you — without empathy relationships are usually transactional and very hurtful, — however, it is still a win for you, bc you come to know that you’ll never want to be a part of anything like this ever again).

Empathy is indistinguishable from acting.

One who has empathy acts the part. Inside them there is purity, a honest and sincere heart.

Love is as love does.

[Autistic people have empathy, too. They feel bad when someone is hurt. Even if they don't show it a normative way.]

This is the light: bringing joy into the lives of others.

You can bring positivity into the lives of others.

And creating a positive impact on the world.

You create a ripple effect of positivity and kindness that changes the world.

It is when we serve others that we really find ourselves because we have tapped into our truth of our core being of intelligence and love (frequencies of creation).

Look for, focus on goodness, and demonstrate goodness, including paying attention to your words and thoughts, intentions, and reactions.

The point is doing something good for someone else, sincerely.

Serving others is a great way to create more peace, joy and harmony for yourself and others.

I slept, and dreamt that life was joy.

I awoke, and saw that life was service.

I acted, and behold, service was joy.

— Rabindranath Tagore

LoA will attract more of the same (GOOD & GOODness) to your experiences/life. In a while, depending on your allowance; you won't have as many “Negative”...

We can indeed do something with pure intentions and still en-“joy” the result it may bring. Speaking from experience, I love seeing the joy in others when I make them happy, and it also makes me feel good and I enjoy that.

[crow2222]

You're aware of what finning is right? Idk if it's actually called finning but I find it makes much more sense to call it that, basically, Mer!AU, where Darry, an orca mer, is getting or has gotten finned? You can add the gang finding him either without his fins, laying in the sand, or arriving in time to help him not lose his fins.

I've just had this bouncing around for a while and need someone who can actually write as opposed to my gibberish.

Sodapop merman art for this as well 💋!!

WC: 1,970 words

Darry still wasn't back.

Ponyboy kept pestering Sodapop, asking where he was; which showed that he was obviously concerned for his older brother. He'd act all tuff in front of Darry though, pretend as if he doesn't care.

Soda didn't get that about his brothers, they always seemed to hide how they felt about each other which is quite odd, at least for him. Soda never hid how he’s feeling with them, even when he thought of doing so.

Pony was at the point of hysterics at this point, "Wha' if- wha' if it's like mother and father?" His voice was quiet, hushed, like he didn't want the fish around them to hear.

Darry? Killed by hunters? No. No way.

Sodapop couldn't help but scoff, Darry was smart, he was strong, and he knew the spots where the humans would fish.

Pony glared at his brother, his irises quickly sharpening to mere slits, "What so funny?" His body tensed up, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration, wondering if Soda thought of him as a joke.

Despite his tough exterior, and trying to seem dangerous, all Soda could really see was his little baby brother scowling at him as if he stole his brother’s fish, alongside those grayish green eyes that seemed to always be reflecting light coming from the surface. 

With a wave of his hand, Soda explained. "Sorry, sorry. I jus' reckon we would know if somethin' would happen t' 'im though." He hopped up from the rock he was resting on, he just couldn't be sitting still anymore. Pony, knowing this, swam up with his brother and they started going up towards the shore, around where Darry was meant to be.

"Sketchy, that's what this is. Why must he go to this.. place anyways?" Soda realised Pony must've been referencing the Tavern up a bit beyond the shore. It was extremely loud and bright there at night, which would scare fish away, especially when humans came down to the shore as well. Darry prohibited them from ever going near the shore, saying he'd personally make sure they'd never be able to swim again.

Sodapop shrugged his shoulders with a shake of his head, “I’d tell ya if I knew.” They were basically at the end of the water of where they could still swim comfortably. Soda knew Pony never went as far as here, but he's gone to some “bonfire parties” himself at the shore, which is exactly why he has a hidden stash of clothes on the surface. As Soda wondered if he should tell his brother, he could start smelling copper..he could smell blood.

Pony must’ve as well, because he met his older brothers’ eyes. Both of them reflected the same fear, the fear of Darry being gone.

A quick visual search in the water proved useless as the blood trailed out of the water. Soda tried to make Pony stay in the water, not wanting his first out on the surface experience to be possibly as horrible as this, but there was no stopping him when it came to their brother, whether it was about his safety or raging against him.

They quickly went across the shallow water, knowing it was dangerous to be caught during these early morning hours. 

That’s when the hunters came out.

They finally caught on that the blood trail was lengthened by the water currents, and not by movement itself.

Soda stared at the giant rock where the blood seemed to pool from.

He could feel every scale on his translucent skin quiver as he slowly approached the other side of the boulder, Pony trailing right behind him. He felt nauseous, his heartbeat roaring in his ears as he peered over the corner,

And then he realised their worst fear was real.

Darry lay half hoisted on the rock, his face scrunched up, pain visible in every crevice on his face. The blood covering him didn’t help his image, but as Sodapop searched for his injury, he instantly found out what it was.

His fins were gone.

Sodapop then heard a sharp gasp behind him, then nothing at all, as if Pony was holding his breath, just for a chance to hear Darry’s. Soda soon realised that he was doing it too. They were in suspense for what felt like eternity, but then they both watched his chest rise. They probably let out the biggest sighs of their lives all at once. 

Sodapop broke the agonizing silence first, “Help me bring him further up.” And Ponyboy, like a good little brother, asked no questions and helped Soda by grabbing other Darry's arm, and they both dragged him up under the decaying wooden bridge at the beach despite Darry's groans of protest.

Ponyboy hastily found his position, hugging his brother, and just watched as his other brother left, any trace of his tail and fins gone.

The way Sodapop ran off puzzled Ponyboy, since when was Sodapop able to walk so flawlessly on his two feet? He's tried his fair share of walking on land when his brothers weren't around, but he never truly got the hang of it.

He wanted to wipe the sudden tears out of his eyes, especially since all he could see was a red blur of his brother but he didn't dare move his arms away from his brother's possibly dying body, hoping that his will alone will save Darry.

It didn't take long for Sodapop to come back, all dressed up in loose human clothes, with even more bundled up in his hands.

Sodapop tried to silently pry Pony off of Darry, but Pony would defensively bare his teeth, not even bothering to think of what his brother was trying to accomplish.

The middle child found himself sighing impatiently, “I want to bandage him up Pony. So he stops bleeding out?” He snapped at his brother, feeling the guilt seep into his bones after he uttered the last word.

But before Sodapop could apologize, Pony's arms slithered off Darry, revealing that they were now also covered in the crimson liquid as well.

Sodapop paid little to no mind to Ponyboy, instead Soda started to tear apart his spare clothes and wrap up anything he could. The wound on Darry's back was the hardest to bandage, but he eventually did it, not without the help of a giant shirt he stole of course.

Darry moved only the slightest bit to help with Sodapop's handiwork, but his panting and whines at each move was heartbreaking for his brothers to hear.

What was even more heart shattering? When he called out for their mom.

It was barely a squeak from his throat, but both the brothers caught it, the air suffocating them from the overwhelming worry.

Sodapop and Ponyboy sat side by side, both now in their “human forms”, not really sure of what to do next. Without his fins, Darry isn't able to swim. Being in the water would also mean the bandages Sodapop just applied would be of no use.

Pony shivered in the navy shirt his brother had given him, the sleeves were ripped off as bandages, but he didn't dare complain. 

Darry was in some sort of jacket, whatever that is. Ponyboy was just being taught these words, as Soda tried to distract him from the fact that he had no clue how else to help Darry.

After a bit more of talking, it was Ponyboy that actually had come up with an idea. “Wha if we get human help?” Sodapop's eyes widened as he looked down at his brother, but before he could ask if he was utterly crazy, Pony continued. 

“We have ta git 'im in his human form, and then we call a human over? I mean.. almost completely light out Soda, we bound to get noticed.” Ponyboy whispered, as if he was already afraid of being caught.

Sodapop sighed again, noting how his brother's idea isn't actually that bad. “You know what? Sure Pony.” But the hardest part was yet to come, trying to convince Darry to change his form whilst in pain.

Soda carefully shook Darry’s shoulder whilst calling his name, and after only three “Darry"s later, he opened his eyes with a short grunt.

Trying his best to be gentle, Sodapop helped Darry to sit up straight. “Can ya get out of the tail? We need ta get human help Dar.” He spoke softly, similar to the way he'd speak to Pony after he had a bad nightmare.

Darry's eyes opened slightly to see his younger brothers’ fearful faces. “Aye.” His voice was thick with exhaustion, and now Soda started to worry that he'd been laying out by the rocks, awake, for far too long.

As Soda and Pony waited for Darry, their heads snapped up as the wood above them creaked awkwardly with pressure. 

A human.., a hunter?

Sodapop faced his baby brother, “Go get that human for help, I'll stay with Darry.” Instead of following anything Soda would ask of him, he shook his head vigorously. 

“Natter with human? No! No!” His eyes seemed even more full of tears if that was possible, it was a shock to Soda that they haven't spilled out yet.

And so, with an annoyed huff, Soda got up himself and pointed at Pony. “Stay right here.” And then he hurried off for help.

Soda sprinted up the land, until the bridge was low enough for him to push up onto it. As he looked sideways, towards the sunrise, he noticed only one person on the bridge.

“Help!” He yelled out, running even faster than earlier to reach the man as quickly as possible. “Help- My kin! He's hurt and he needs mighty help!”

The man turned around, his greased up rusty hair lit up by the morning sun hues. “They be hurt?” Despite the rude interruption of his morning rum, he didn't find it in himself to be mad about that.

“Yes! By uh.” Soda bit down on his lips, realizing what he'd have to say. “By those bloomin' sirens!” He spat out the words with as much hate as he could muster, and only when he finished his sentence, he realised his lip was bleeding.

The bottle clicked as the man set it down, it twas still almost full but it'd have to wait. “Where's ye heartie?” The man seemed to get focused after he mentioned a siren, but Sodapop already knew the hatred of his species from his time at the tavern, Bucks.

“Under the bridge!” Sodapop jumped straight down, the drop landing him in the water. The man, on the other hand, ran down the bridge a bit before jumping down, so he landed on the dry sand instead.

Sodapop led the man to his brothers lickety-split, surprised that Darry seemed less groggy from the last time he saw him.

Darry stared daggers at the human, but his look faltered as another wave of pain hit him, where he let out a quiet hiss as he jammed his eyes shut.

The man looked stunned for a second, before going up to Darry, and helped him up by wrapping his arm around his waist. Darry, in turn, hooked his arm around the man's neck with a whimper.

The man tipped his head towards Soda, and soon enough the two of them were hoisting Darry up, and walking towards the town not far from the shore.  

Pony was right at their tail, glad that the human wasn't looking at him as he was subtly trying to figure out how to walk. He knew enough to follow them, but his balance was all over the place.

The man shook his head with a crazy grin once they left the sandy beach. “Blimey! Wait 'til me crew sees the state o' ‘im.”