#can cu tunnels

[aroundtheworldin214days]

May 28, 2023 - Day 154

Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Vietnam

Even though the official title is Ho Chi Minh City everyone that lives there call it Saigon. There is a huge cultural difference between what I saw in Hanoi and Saigon. In Hanoi everything is about communism and Ho Chi Minh. In Siagon there is still a lot of resentment about what they call the civil war. The wealth is centralized within the controlling party and most people live on a income of $300 US/month. You have to pay to go to school and you see children on the streets selling lottery tickets to live. All the boys are required to go in the military for two years. Vietnam is really worried about China and the islands it has in the South China Sea so 60% of the drafted men go in the Navy. One of the guides told me that the Vietnam relatives in the States send 20 billion dollars into Vietnam each year.

The thing that impressed me the most was all the motorcycles. There are 7 million 150 cc motorcycles in the country. There are special lanes for the cycles but there are still many accidents with 25 people killed each day. New they cost $1650 US dollars but many go to Cambodia to buy used motorbikes. There are cars but the sales tax is 250% of the sales price so only people associated with the government have one.

There are 20 million people in Saigon and 100 million in Vietnam. There are 20 different dialects of Vietnamese spoken in the country. The main industry is farming with 2 million metric tons of rice exported every year and the country is the second largest exporter of very good coffee after Brazil.

We visited the Mekong Delta area where we saw a large fishing industry. The boats have large very bright lights attached to the boats to attract squid. If you look close at the boat photos below you will see them. The boats go out for 20 days. The delta is 3 km across.

I visited the Can Cu Vietcong tunnel area located West of Saigon. There are 200 km of tunnels spread over 80 square miles. It was the main planning aret for the Vietcong in southern Vietnam. It was used by 4000 people as a bomb shelter when the US B52 bombers attacked the area. I went into one of the tunnels and it was not a pleasant place. The lady in the video is making rice paper.

I didn’t have to go to Vietnam during the war but had many cousins and friends who did so it was interesting to visit Vietnam to see how things have evolved. There is still a very strong American influence in the country and the country is still evolving. The government has a very tight controlling grip on the country thru the military and police but the people certainly practice free capitalism. They have to be very careful about saying anything negative about the government or they will be severely punished. Real freedom comes at a cost.

[flippinpancakes64]

can you please write about how the cullens would react if they thought their so was dead?? like maybe Alice had a vision or someone thought they saw them get killed butttt they're actually alive

The Cullens thinking their S/O Died

I originally told myself I was done for the night since I already have three posts written and cued to be posted.... but I just kept thinking about this one sooooo

Sorry if this doesn't make sense it's like 2:30 am lol

Thank you for requesting and I hope you like this!

Edward:

You left earlier that morning to go to a job interview in the city

He kissed you goodbye, watched you walk out the door, and thought that would be it

He was just sitting around, watching some football game that Emmett had on the TV when he saw the familiar beginnings of one of Alice's visions

She has so many throughout the day that he really only half pays attention to it

But once he sees your face he is fully alert

You swiping his credit card to buy a subway ticket, you onboard the train, the train crashing, you dead

Instantly he is up

He knows that Alice's visions are only a possibility

But too many of them have come true for him to ignore this

He calls you, nothing

He texts you, nothing

He checks the statements for his credit card and he sees the pending purchase of one train ticket

His heart drops

Instantly he flies out of the door, running as fast as he can to the subway station

There's a crowd of people running up from the tunnel, trampling each other in their attempt to get out

Smoke plumes out, he can smell fire and gasoline

And just as he's about to run down there to see if he can find you, find what's left, maybe even save you, he hears a voice

"Edward? What are you doing here... oh my god! What happened down there?!"

It's you

You, alive, healthy, and drinking a coffee

Before you can question him further on what happened he is wrapped around you, holding you so close you feel like you're being crushed

Your interview was cancelled last minute so you went to go get a coffee before coming home

Edward says you're never going on the subway again, sorry

And maybe never leaving the house without him again

Alice:

The two of you were out and about, having a day shopping at the mall

She was crafting outfit after outfit in her mind while you sat in the dressing room, waiting for her to bring her next outfit in for you to try on

You leave the room to see her still flitting about the store, pulling various items off the racks and holding them up to the items already overflowing in her arms

You call to her that you're going to use the bathroom, and she hums a little to let you know that she heard you before continuing with her planning

She hears you walk away before a vision flashes harshly into her mind

You walking into the bathroom, two people with guns having an argument, you caught in the wrong place at the wrong time

She instantly drops everything she was holding

All of the clothes hitting with a thud to the floor

She doesn't even register the store attendant yelling at her to pick up her mess before she is sprinting out the room

But she doesn't even make it two paces outside of the store before she hears two gunshots, one right after another

She runs fast, she doesn't care that people might see that she's way too fast

She follows the scent of blood to the bathroom and hears cries of pain from inside

But then she smells you

Not inside the bathroom, but across the walkway

She turns and there you are, standing at a little boutique directly across from the bathroom, staring with your mouth wide open

In the next breath, before you can even blink she is right in front of you, hanging onto you like a koala and hurriedly explaining everything that just happened

After you catch your breath and she finally lets go, you turn your head to the boutique and look into the window

"So... is now a bad time to say that I think this dress would look pretty on you?"

She just laughs and kisses you so hard

Jasper:

You're out on a trip with your friends

Not too far away, just about two towns over

It's your best friend's birthday and they wanted to have a little weekend trip to celebrate

You'd left earlier that morning

Promising Jasper that you'd call when you all got there

But it's been hours

4 hours, 27 minutes, and 39 seconds

Not that he's been counting or anything

The drive should have taken 30 minutes max

So why haven't you called?

He's already tried to give himself every explanation

That you're busy, that you got caught in traffic, that you just forgot

But as the hours go by he's getting more and more anxious

He's already called and texted a couple of times, but you haven't even read the messages

He's about to call again as he feels a rush of anxiety come from Carlisle's office

In the next moment the man is down the stairs, doctor's bag in hand, throwing his coat over his shoulders

"Carlisle, what's happening?"

"Three people have just been rushed to the clinic. There was a car accident nearby. They veered off the road in the middle of the woods... who knows how long they've been out there..." he says gravely, and rushes out the door

If Jasper wasn't anxious before, he definitely is now

Before Carlisle can pull out of the driveway, Jasper throws the car door open and sits in the passenger seat

As soon as they arrive, he flies out of the car

He's examining every inch of the clinic

He doesn't even care about the strong scent of human blood in the air

He's looking for one more familiar

And he doesn't find it

He begins questioning all of the police officers nearby, asking if there were more people, if there was a second car, or if they've seen you

They kick him out

He follows the scent again to track the car

At the scene he sees the car that crashed

A bloody heap of metal

But no you

Suddenly he hears a mechanical buzz, but not from his phone

No, he recognizes the cute jingle

It's easy to find your phone hidden amongst the treeline

Your friend picks up and he explains where he found the phone

Hearing your voice on the other side is like hearing an angel

He goes home to get a car before driving it to you

The kiss he gives you before he leaves again to let you enjoy your trip is filled with love and happiness

Rosalie:

You Rosalie had gone out

She needed one more car part before her greatest car restoration ever would be complete

She was driving that very car, a 1957 Chevrolet Bel-Air that she had been fixing up for a couple months

She'd saved it from a scrapyard, and it was missing pretty much everything that a car needs to function

But after months it was finally done

Almost

The car needed only one simple thing, new gears for the window cranks

She rolled up to the auto parts store and parked the car outside

You said you wanted to stay in the car, preferring to sit

She said she would only be a minute

It didn't take her long to find the piece she needed

As she was about to check out she saw a crowd of people lined up at the front door and a couple people running outside

Through the large windows at the front of the building she could she huge flames and black smoke surrounding a bright teal car

Her bright teal car

That you were inside of

Her mind worked a mile a minute as she dropped the steel parts to the floor

The cranks don't work, that means the windows can't open

She locked the car, that means you couldn't open the doors

She replaced the glass to make it bulletproof, that means you can't break the glass

You are inside of that car burning alive

As she runs up she sees four men behind her car, next to the trunk

And in the middle is you

Covered in soot with a couple of scratches

But breathing, alive

She runs up and hugs you so tightly you can't breathe

"I'm so sorry, I locked the doors, and the windows! How did you get out?"

"The trunk... I'm sorry Rose, I tore the backseat out"

She turns to see the trunk of her car open, with the backseat completely pulled out place

And all she does is laugh and kiss you

Emmett:

The sky was a dark grey, and thick clouds were covering the sun

The Cullens stood in their baseball uniforms, waiting for the ball to be returned so Rosalie could pitch it again

Up to bat was Emmett

A heavy metal bat was swinging in his arms

He shot you a wink out of the corner of his eye, and turned his attention back to Rosalie

With a huff she focused, and threw the ball to Emmett so fast you couldn't even see it

You heard the loud crack of thunder ring from Emmett's bat, but almost as soon as you heard it, you felt it

Like a ball made of pure fire, the baseball hit square into your chest

The force of it knocked you straight off your feet and sent you flying into the woods behind you

A good 30 feet at least

And as if that wasn't enough, your back collided with a tree, knocking the tree over and onto the ground

The force of it knocked you unconscious, which would probably be a blessing in this scenario tbh

Everybody was quick to run to your side, Emmett and Carlisle taking position up by your head

Carlisle wasted no time in picking you up and running to take you to the clinic

And of course Emmett followed

He held you in the back seat of the car, whispering apologies and professions of love into your unhearing ears, promising that he will never do this again

It takes a couple of hours and maybe two or three surgeries, but you do wake up

And Emmett is by your side the whole time

He was fully prepared to turn you if he needed to

But the moment he sees your eyes open and your doped-up smile, he finally relaxes

"You're pretty cute... are you single?"

"Darling, I just hit you with a baseball going the speed of a jet plane-"

Esme:

Your brother was getting married and asked if you would attend

Of course you said yes

But there were no plus ones

And it was tropical

Which meant flying to an island somewhere all by yourself

Not only is it nerve-wracking to travel alone, but it was also going to be boring

So Esme promised that she would have her phone on her at all times so you could facetime her if you wanted to

She even paid for your wifi on the plane

You had been on call with her for hours at that point

From the time you got out of your taxi, found your way to your terminal, went through TSA, and finally boarded your plane

It was about halfway into your flight and the conversation had naturally slowed down

You were only occasionally exchanging words

When suddenly your service cut out like a light

No warning, no crackling before, and no explanation

She tried calling you back, but nothing

She tried texting, but nothing

She was getting worried

And it definitely didn't help that only about 20 minutes later, the news anchor started talking about a plane that just crashed in the Pacific

Which is where you were

A couple hours off the coast of California

Which is where you were

From Spirit Airlines

Which is the plane you were on

She was beginning to panic

Alice couldn't see you either

She was just getting silence

Cue the whole house panicking

She went through every phase of grief in the span of a couple of hours

She was convinced you were gone, but at the same time she didn't want to believe it

Suddenly her phone started to buzz

"*Yawn*, Hey Esme. Sorry about that, I guess I fell asleep... *yawn* anyway what were we talking about?"

Stunned silence

She just laughs incredulously

Carlisle:

It's just another day the clinic

Slow, boring, a couple of broken arms, a couple pregnancy tests, nothing special

When he hears the sirens of an ambulance pulling up outside the main entrance

Like bats out of hell, three paramedics come rushing in, towing a gurney with someone on top of it

Someone that smells a hell of a lot like you

His heart drops, his breathing stops, he freezes

The paramedics are talking quickly but he can only hear broken phrases

Cliff... fell... severely injured... needs help... lost blood...

All he can smell is you

All he can see is the shirt that Alice got you

The shoes that Esme lets you borrow sometimes

The color of your hair

But no face

The face is smashed in, presumably from the aforementioned fall that the EMTs were talking about

He tries his hardest, he does everything he's supposed to, but when the monitor flatlines, there's only one more option

Just as he raises your wrist to his mouth to bite, his phone vibrates in his pocket

He wants to ignore it, but something tells him not to

And on the face of his apple watch he sees a text message

My Love: "Heyyyyyyyyyyyy... can I use your credit card to order some pizza??? I'm STARVING!!!! :)))"

You later explain that those were clothes that Alice had donated

Apparently no one washed them, so they still held a lot of your smell

He took a week off of work from the clinic after that

Vampire! Bella:

So Jacob never actually got rid of the motorcycles

After you see him and Renesmee ride away on one of them one day, you ask to try it out

Under her watchful eye, Bella helps you learn how to ride

One day, after a couple months of successful rides, you decide to take it to run some errands

Bella didn't see an issue with this, seeing as you were skilled, and let you go all by yourself

But she very quickly regrets that when she gets a rather ominous text from you that just says "help" and nothing else

Her mind starts running a mile a minute

She asks for Edward and Alice's help to hunt you down

She expects a lot of things when she finds you

She expects blood, bones, a crash, metal everywhere, and you dead

But what she finds is you standing in a parking lot trying to shove four large bags of items into the tiny space under the seat

She's so relieved she could cry

Of course, you're confused as to why your girlfriend suddenly comes out of nowhere and gives you the most bone-breaking hug she could muster

Why the fuck would you text me like that?!?!?!?"

"Like what?"

"Like this!"

"Oh... my other messages didn't send... sorry!"

No more motorcycle :(

[poppy-metal]

literally gripping my head with both hands still thinking about android!art and how when you finally give into his advances he’s having you ride him into oblivion with his coding that teaches him to bounce you up and down with his hands and pound into you

he’s so good at what he’s doing your mouth is hanging open, yours hands are gripping at his back to pull him deeper into you, and you can’t stop shaking with how much his cock is sending ripples of pleasure through your body and straight to your cunt

and i believe he has the 2 smallest lines of code that tell him to keep pounding into you after you cum to make you squirt

please the almost mechanical way he bounces you on his cock - except nothing about it is mechanical, it's just the ease of which he does it that makes it inhuman - no stuttering, no falter, no breaks - just a steady tunneling of his dick in and out of your soaking wet cunt. you can't even speak - form words. just clinging to his broad shoulders and whimpering - sobbing from the intensity of it.

it feels good for him too - the warm grip of your cunt around his cock is sending tingles all the way to his brain - strange, the way he kind of goes dumb with it - considering how intelligent he is. his only thought is to make you cum, over and over he just keeps dragging you up and down up and down up and down, he needs that sensation- he'll know it when he feels it - that wet gush of your inner walls spasming around him, the convulsing, the locking of your body.

"come on." he encourages you, his lips at your temple - "cum for me. you're almost there -" he can tell. the choked off whines, the way you've collapsed against his naked chest and stopped even attempting to fuck him back - good, you should let him do all the work, he prefers it, you should be a melted puddle of pleasure at all times - "get there for me."

because he's learned you like that. being a 'good girl.' when you're made aware you're pleasing him - or completing a task he's asked of you, your serotonin shoots up - your hole pulses the moment you register his words and you gasp. "please. oh please, I'm coming - I'm cu - hhh -"

"yes, that's it. good girl -" that warm fluttering begins - the rhythmic clenches and flood of wet that soaks his cock. he doesn't slow his movements. his hands grip your ass tighter, lift and drop you even more viciously as you cum - "give it to me. you're not done - you have more - "

his balls are pulling up tight - fissures of sensation zapping through his body as he gets close.

"I can't fill you up until you cum again." he says, a little breathless. "you want to be full of me, yes? you want me dripping out."

you nod eagerly.

"then give me more."

you're quite literally helpless to do anything other than obey.

[parageist]

MANY RAIN WORLD SPOILERS AHEAD

yknow, what really are these module things you see attached to iterators?

i always assumed they were steam vents and thus make the torrential rains you experience, as when its rain time, they start steaming. but as ive played through more campaigns and revisited old areas, ive noticed some strange things about them

like whats up with this one on the bottom? why is it cut in half like that?

and sometimes the lighting makes these circle things in the background look like theyre protruding, so I assumed they were just the same steam vent things but viewed face-on, yet in this image (and in a lot of others) the lighting suggests the opposite - they're indentations on the structure. perhaps the vent things can be retracted in/out of the base?

yet here in the outer expanse you can find them on train cars, and the lighting looks like they're protruding, which would either mean the train cars are extremely wide or theres an extreme amount of clearance between the rail and the walls of the tunnel.

and even if it was retracted into its shell, that would mean the shell itself is super wide to be able to house an object that long. also the retractable theory in general starts to fall flat when you never actually see them retract or extrude, which if they are steam vents, then shouldnt they pop out of their shells when its rain time? this makes me think the circles facing head-on arent the same vent modules we see. perhaps they're some sort of "socket" or attachment point for some other component? im not sure.

but anyway, back to the main point. what are these things?

well, an important peice of evidence completely changes everything.

YOU CAN FIND THEM (and the circle background thingies) *INSIDE* OF ITERATOR CANS

(they're in/on moon's can as well, so there doesn't seem to be a difference between gen 1 and gen 3 iterator designs in regards to these modules)

but anyway. why are there steam vents inside of their processors???

and you cant just deduce that they arent steam vents, cus they definitely are (as shown in this video)

but at the same time the ones inside their cans dont produce any steam. or at least, no steam that we can see.

but this leads me to a theory, once you keep in mind another major thing about iterators: they need a shit load of water to function, yet you never see any of the neuronflies, inspectors, or other organisms inside drink. so where the heck is all the water? (besides the lymphatic system)

this makes me think that the steam vents we see inside of iterator structures are indeed steam vents, but the amount of steam they produce is a lot less. i assume they are basically giant humidifiers, which would saturate the air with so much moisture that the neuronflies and what not wouldnt need to "drink" as they would just constantly be absorbing water from the air. the moist air could also improve electrical conductivity between neurons.

so yeah that's my theory! it is kind of uncomfortable to think about the inside of iterator cans being absolutely muggy and miserable from the extreme humidity, but it makes sense knowing that being inside an iterator is basically like being inside a giant living organism's body; of course it's gonna be wet and slimy in there. it would also explain how the water pumped through the lymphatic conduits gets distributed to all the neurons and other purposed organisms - instead of having a separate pipe connecting every little creature to the water supply, you just saturate the air with it so they can "wirelessly" get water!

[dystopicjumpsuit]

A Question of Seman-dicks

A/N: I wrote this under the influence of alcohol, edibles, and the funniest conversation in the history of Discord. Happy Friday!

Pairing: Hardcase x GN!Reader (platonic with a twist)

Rating: T

Wordcount: 960

Warnings and tags: suggestive language, terrible puns

Hardcase spotted you striding purposefully down the corridor of the Resolute, and he sped up to try to catch up with you. You turned a corner abruptly, and by the time he rounded it, you were nowhere to be found. The corridor was empty; there was nothing there but a bank of escape pods. He peered into the porthole of each one until he finally spotted you, pacing back and forth in the small space and talking animatedly. Intrigued, he opened the hatch.

You whirled to face him, guilt written plainly across your features, but when you recognized his distinctive tattoos, you relaxed.

“Oh, it’s you,” you sighed with relief. “Thank the Force.”

“What are you doing in here?” he asked curiously.

“Nothing!” you said. His expression was dubious, and you knew he wouldn’t let it drop until you told the truth. “Hiding.”

He gave you a sympathetic look. “Admiral Ice Queen?”

“I came in here to scream,” you admitted sheepishly.

“Good choice,” he said. “Conveniently close to your office, private, and most importantly, soundproof. I approve of your strategy.”

“Except I’m not supposed to be in here, and if anyone caught me, I’d be in huge trouble.”

“Someone did catch you,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t rat me out,” you replied. “You’re more likely to come in and hide with me.”

“Great idea!” he said with a grin. He stepped into the pod and sealed the hatch, then flopped down on the floor and patted the spot next to him. “Tell me all about it.”

“You know there are perfectly good seats in here,” you said.

“True, but if I sat in one of those, there wouldn’t be room for you next to me, and you look like you could use a hug.”

“Good point,” you said, sitting down with a thump.

He immediately draped his arm over your shoulders, and you leaned against him. “So what did the bad-miral do this time?”

“More of the usual,” you replied. “I swear she sets me up to fail on purpose, and then she takes an evil delight in being a massive Taungsday about it.”

“Taungsday?” he asked, baffled.

“You know, a C-U-Next-Taungsday?”

“I don’t get it,” he said.

Even though nobody was around, you leaned in and whispered the explanation in his ear. He reared back in surprise.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to say that word,” he said.

“What word would you prefer?” you asked, amused at his reaction, but still too upset to laugh.

“Lady garden,” he replied.

You snorted. “Seriously?”

“It’s more respectful,” he said with dignity.

“I don’t want to be respectful!” you complain. “I want to call her a cu—”

“Love tunnel!” he exclaimed, interrupting you before you could get the word out.

That time, you actually laughed. “What is this, a bodice ripper? I don’t need a romantic euphemism for a—”

“Hidden treasure!” he cut you off. “Or cupcake! Those are delicious.”

You let out an inelegant cackle, and he gave you a wounded look that only made you laugh harder. 

“Hardcase, I had no idea you had so many words for a woman’s—”

“Honey pot?” he asked insouciantly. 

“You can just say—”

“Nether regions?” he offered. “I don’t like that one. It sounds spooky. Like some vast, uncharted part of space.”

You tried to stifle your laughter, but it came out as an embarrassing snort, which only made you laugh harder.

“Still, it’s better than ‘penis fly trap,’” he mused. “But not as good as flower. You know, because it has petals and is also used in reproduction. I would definitely rather put my tallywacker in a flower than in a nether region. Higher probability of survival.”

By this point, you had both hands clapped over your mouth to try to muffle your shrieks of laughter as tears streamed down your face. You couldn’t even remember why you’d hidden in the escape pod in the first place, much less why Hardcase was regaling you with a comprehensive listing of every colloquialism known to the galaxy for a—

“Notorious V.A.G.,” he said. “Whoever came up with that one had obviously never felt the touch of a woman.”

You doubled over and buried your face against his chest as you howled with laughter, so you missed his pleased smile when he realized he’d successfully distracted you from your horrible boss. Unfortunately, you’d been gone long enough that you knew your absence would soon be noted.

“I wish I could hide in here with you for the rest of the day,” you gasped once you caught your breath.

“Me, too,” he said, giving your shoulders a squeeze. “Probably ought to get back to it, though.”

You nodded and wiped away your mirthful tears, hoping that you looked at least somewhat presentable. Hardcase stood and offered you his hand, pulling you to your feet with ease, and then he opened the hatch of the escape pod. The two of you spilled out into the corridor, only to run smack-dab into Jesse and Kix.

Jesse took one look at your disheveled appearance and punched Hardcase in the shoulder with a devilish grin. 

“Nice, vod,” he said. “You finally made your move.”

Hardcase looked mortified. “That’s not— We weren’t—”

“Relax, brother, we won’t tell the Atrocious Admiral,” Kix laughed. “I’m just glad you decided to do something other than pine away after all this time.”

Hardcase stared at you with panic in his eyes as he watched understanding dawn on your face. 

“I—” he began.

On impulse, you leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thanks for everything, big boy,” you said. “Be sure to stop by my bunk later, and I’ll show you how well I can swallow your baloney pony.”

[chaostroid]

MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

meatball don’t read this until i indoctrinated you into watching the game ..

The implication that Jimmy raped Anya and she was literally so quiet about it KILLS ME

“I’m pregnant” and also hiding the gun case OHHH MY GODFGDHFJFG

I’m like 80-90% sure swansea knew and that cryo pod was for her. like. come on now. swansea’s character is so fucking awesome i hate that i like him!!!!!!!! mean old man who secretly saw his friends as if they were his own trope NAAAUURRR ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Like, Swan does NAWT fuck with Jimmy. the pod could’ve been for daisuke, but somehow i knew it was for anya i swear to god. like why would he keep it from fucking everyone. Anya never asked about the utility room. at least i dont think so.

^ its also possible he’d keep it for himself, but he spoke about his life in that tied up bit as if it were already over. I really doubt it was just for him.

not like we’d see it anyway because we play from jimmy’s perspective, at least most of the time.

Curly knew because he was the captain and he was trustworthy, Swansea knew because daisuke was probably too young for her to confide in and she wanted some sort of protection - like in the last bit where you have to find the gun case and stuff / break into the medical room, swansea is no fuckign help (ik he was drunk but still)

also the way he attacks jimmy with the axe in the medical room. SWAN KNEW OK

he knew

i swear

anyway.

There was a mutual trust between Curly, swan and anya. Daisuke was left out cus of age, and jimmy because he’s literally insane. and also raped anya.

Jimmy is an exceptionally well written villain, and i love the psychological horror aspect that comes with being forced to do the things he did. Feeding curly his own leg?? WHAT!!!

I figure Jimmy is so jealous of Curly because he’s been “trying to climb the ladder” for years, but his behaviours and inability to cooperate stopped him from becoming a captain, and thats all he wanted. He got it, i guess. I think the horse / pony express part of his (what i can only describe as) mental breakdown / psychosis is just the fact that he’s been so focused on that company that he saw the horse fucking EVERYWHERE !!!

he convinced himself he’s been busting his ass for pony express for years and nobody even sees him. the highest rung for him is to be captain and he just couldn’t reach it. ladies and gents. Jimmy has been tunnel visioned in on captain-ness he lost his sense of life.

“I’m gonna fix this. we’re gonna get out of here.”

i think he says that because he’s more or less trying to convince himself that he can still fix everything, rather than just mindless rambling to everyone who’s died.

His breaking point back into whatever can be perceived as consciousness is curly in the end. they ran out of pain meds so he tried to help him by feeding him something, and then puts him in the pod.

Putting Curly in the pod is his remorse. Killing himself is his guilt.

THIS IS NOT A JIMMY APOLOGIST SECTION . goodness. that guy is so fucking evil it was genuinely crazy, i just like writing about how i saw things.

Out of all the characters, They’re all my favourite except for Jimmy. Fuck that guy. love you curly. ❤️

There will be mouthwashing fanart soon on GYAT ITS COMING

I love it so much

❤️❤️❤️❤️ mouthwashing

[ankitiseepy]

Sleepless nights and tunnels | @pandalilymicrofics | swearing, pure fluff | 529 words

Pandora was running.

She was just minding her own business, sneaking off to the forbidden forest for a midnight swim in a small pond she had found. But it didn't go as planned. She was almost there, she could see the passageway that would lead her out of the castle, when she heard a voice.

"Pandora?"

When she looked back she saw the most gorgeous girl ever. Wavy copper hair tied up in a messy bun with curtain bangs out, beautiful green eyes under eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It was Lily Evans. And except for being the prettiest woman to ever exist, she was the head girl, and Pandora was definitely not looking for a detention.

So she ran.

"Wait!" She heard Lily call out. But she didn't look, instead ran straight into the passage. She heard Lily's footsteps behind her. Why was she following, surely she had something better to do than chase after some weird Slytherin.

That's what Lily thought too. She should really get back, her rounds aren't nearly finished yet. But she felt weirdly attracted to the blonde in front of her, she just had to follow.

She followed the girl until she stopped, panting. "All right fine, you can take me to slughorn now, I'm too tired to run." She said, still out of breath.

"What?" Lily said in confusion, trying to control her breathing.

"You followed me all the way here, you must really want to get me in trouble."

Right. She was so focused on how the beads in the girl's braids jingled as she ran, how her dress flowed as though she was swimming, how beautiful she looked, even if she was sweating and running like her life depended on it. She had completely forgotten why she followed.

"Oh um no it's-it's alright." She said. she wasn't going to confess how she is absolutely enamored by the girl and stays up all night thinking about her.

"What?" It was Pandora's time to be confused now. "Then why the fuck did you follow me here?" She asked, surprised and absolutely bewildered.

Fuck. What was Lily supposed to say now. She could either confess and look like a perv who follows girls into tunnels, or run back out and look like a perv who follows girls into tunnels. If she was going to look like a perv, might as well confess.

"I um-I like you." She started. "Like-like like you"

"Oh" Pandora said. Holy fuck. Lily fucking Evans likes her? "Is this a bit? Cus that's really not funny."

"No, not-not at all," she said, "I really do like you."

"Oh." Pandora was fully freaking the fuck out. What was she supposed to say? The most beautiful and straightest girl on the face of earth just said she likes her.

"I-I like you too."

"Oh." Lily said, stunned. She was fully expecting to get slapped and told to get the fuck away from her. But she really wasn't complainin.

"Well-um will you go to hogsmeade with me?" She asked.

"I would love to." The blonde replied.

"Great!" Lily replied with a blinding grin.

"Well-I was headed to the forbidden forest, do you wanna join?" She asked.

"Oh, sure." Lily replied.

[helyiios]

I've been thinking for ages that in Rogue Nation Benji must have been tortured during his captivity, which seems to be a popular thought in the fandom. But please also imagine, what if they had given him some poison with a delayed effect? So that even after he's freed from the bomb, it's not over for him...

"This was one hell of a mission," Ethan breathes out as they make their way out of the tunnel, feeling much better now that Lane was becoming a distant memory. "Can't say I enjoyed it."

"Well, now we know what to expect," Luther grimaces, playing with the corner of his hat, looking around a little expectantly. You can never be too sure of who might be hiding still. "This guy is a psychopath. Talking about that—how do you feel, Benji ?"

He turns around to face his friend, eyes widening as soon as they fall on the man's figure.

"Benji ?"

"Benji," Brandt says, voice low and full of worry, "hey. Talk to us."

"I'm fine," the other replies, but his voice his strained and he's clutching his chest so tightly his shirt might tear. "I just—I need a sec."

"What's happening ?" Ethan suddenly frowns, making his way towards his friend and stopping a few centimeters from him, hands still in the air, almost going to grab his shoulders. "Benji ? Benji, look at me."

When the bright golden blue irises meet his, he's shocked to find nothing but pitch darkness. Pupils blown wide.

"Oh, fuck."

"I'm okay, you guys," Benji chokes out, and he's breathing hard and with obvious difficulty and his legs are trembling and he's white. "Nothing I won't survive, really it—“

He doubles over and tries his best to keep the scream of pain as quiet as possible, biting his lower lip so hard he draws blood. His stomach hurts so bad and his head makes the entire place spin.

"Fuck—" he struggles, letting one knee down, "God, shit—"

"What happened ?! Is this—"

"Lane," Benji smiles weakly, "the torture was fine, he j—"

"Lane tortured you," Ethan growls as he lowers himself as well, grabbing his arm with great tenderness, gaze dangerous. "Did he..."

"It wasn't too bad," his friend offers, but his face is staring to turn a worrying shade of green, "just some—some cu—u—aah. Fuck. Fuck," he spits out frothy saliva, "oh, shit."

"We need to get him to a hospital," Brandt retorts, "he got poisoned."

"I think I'm going to pass out," Benji jokingly manages to say, "it hurts a lo—ooh, fucking shit, fuck—"

Before he can understand what was happening he's scooped up in Ethan's arms, feeling hands on his neck and under his knees. He'd rejoice more was he not on the verge of puking his entire brains out.

His body is on fire, he can feels the blood vessels fill up and pumping in his muscles, his vision is blurry and he feels so sick.

"I didn't—I didn't wanna take the focus away from Lane," he pathetically mutters, lips a breath away from Ethan's neck. "'m sorry."

"Hey, none of that," Ethan gently replies, "you're good. I wish you'd told me, Benj. But it's okay, we're taking you to a hospital. Alright ?"

"Alright, E," Benji simply nods, closing his eyes in the hopes of finding solace in pitch darkness. "I trust you."

[cerastes]

Could Mechanist defeat Reserve Team A6?

One of the few entities in Terra capable of doing so.

As discussed previously, Reserve Team A6 works on slapstick rules: They could defeat Patriot simply because it would be funny if they did, and they can only be decisively defeated if it would be humorous or ironic in a humorous way. Mechanist has a rare property, however, that renders him fully immune to any Doctor Slump or Ed Edd and Eddy-class shenanigan. He simply Refuses To Participate.

Essentially, Mechanist is immune to The Bit. It's like his Fate passive ability: The same way Cu has protection from projectiles, Mechanist has protection from The Bit, but to an even more absolute level. He simply is water midst The Bit's oil, passing through untouched and completely distinct from it. If an anvil were to fall on Mechanist as he was crossing the street, courtesy of Catapult, he could dodge it, regardless of whether it's funny for him to do so or not. If Popukar paints a tunnel on a brick wall and then attempts to escape into it, it would work if it were Patriot, who would then splat himself flat against it in pursuit, but she simply could not go into the tunnel if her pursuer were Mechanist, because it's not a tunnel, it's a painting of a tunnel. If Midnight were to leave a huge black circular bomb at Patriot's feet, his eyes would bulge out dramatically before it explodes in a pastel big bang of orange, red and yellow, and he'd be a pile of ash with eyes for the reminder of the scene until he sweeps himself into a tray with a broom and regains his Wendigo form, but Mechanist would simply put the fuse out.

It just wouldn't work, bud. Just like Ho'olheyak is the hard counter to Muelsyse due to her being able to manipulate the air around water molecules, Mechanist is the A6 hard counter due to simply existing outside of The Bit.

[abugsomewhere]

Okay, but Lukas and Radar had actually a good, almost brother/brother relationship like in-game. What happens in champion AU? Lukas doesn't really participate in underground sheningas, but he still probably will get the story later.

Heheheheheh.

Heheh. Heh.

Kinda! I can’t spoil too much, but since Radar is in Beacontown with Romeo, he’s kinda nudging Romeo to be a bit less harsh, especially with who he sends to the dungeon. He’s also got some plans of his own…

I’m actually a bit split on what part I want Lukas to have cus I ship Jesskas. The two things I’ve thought of are 1) Radar fills Lukas in on what happened and tells him to just wait in Romeo’s dungeon, or 2) Radar still fills him in, BUT releases him into the tunnels to Beacontown so Lukas can meet up with Jesse.

Either way, he gains Lukas’ trust here! This is ✨important✨ because Radar actually helps Jesse’s group out a lot during the Romeo fight, and I think Lukas and Jesse would be super impressed and a little proud of him. Definitely a brother/brother relationship there.

This changes :)

No i will not elaborate ♥️

[alelathedragon]

Undertale AU-Ancient Crypt

Prologue Pt.4

Undertale Yellow reference!!!! Oh my god Undertale but if it was Yellow!!!

Also quick note: Frisk and Flowey are doing the Genocide in a weird order because they are bored, and because they don't want to get caught easily so they will kill monsters of an area and then leave before the 'boss' of that area notices.

Frisk will enter 'Battle Mode' having Flowey carry their soul through his tunnels. Frisk's body going with. Cus the way I see battles is

The defending party can dematerialize to Just their soul in order to dodge tight corners. Monsters cannot do this as freely as Humans sense their souls are so much weaker than humans. Damage straight to the soul will be transfered to the outer body when going back to normal.

Part 3

Part 5:

⚠️

Part five has multiple trigger warnings: Body Horror, Body Damage, Death, black and white Life Juice

And the preview of the post shows the comic without spoiling it so only click Keep Reading if your comfy with that!!!

[gtzel]

The Boy in the Walls Chapter 1

first next

Have you ever had something mysteriously disappear? Or maybe you noticed small noises in the walls. Or even seen a small form out of the corner of your eye? If so, then you probably have mice or rats and can forget about it. Just ignore any signs of suspicious things going missing. Don't try and find out more, and do not under any circumstances set traps.

...Okay, I'm joking. I obviously do not think it is mice, I do however, believe you should do the ladder options by ignoring it and not bothering with anything related to it. Because if you don't, you will cause unnecessary fear and anguish to some poor being.

I shall elaborate. What I mean is simply this, there are beings that live in our world that are not quite animal, but not human either. These beings reside in the walls of our homes and take out things, freeloading off of what we are unintentionally providing. No, these are not mice, or rats, or whatever exocentric thing you can think of. For these beings are beyond our plebiscite ways of grasping the supernatural.

These beings are known as borrowers. They are sentient, humanoid creatures that are no taller than your pointer finger. And one of these creatures in particular is the protagonist of our story. It's, or rather, his name was Oliver. He, like many other borrowers, grew up knowing and learning to fear the humans or, as they called them hosts.

Oliver had been living at his hosts house for little over a month, having come of age and moved out. but the journey was rough and when he arrived, his host seemed to have no schedule at all. for one thing, they would stay up all night on their computer and still wake up early.

He needed to know when the host would be distracted enough for Oliver to get food. so far it had been about a week since he had borrowed and 3 days since he had last eaten.

Oliver was already a scrawny boy so it didn't help his composure at all.  He was quite pale and skinnier then most borrowers. one day, in the late afternoon, Oliver's host was busy doing something in its room, so he decided to go out borrowing when the human was preoccupied.

he set out to the kitchen with his hook and borrowing bag. Traipsing through the musky, dark, tunnels that he had constructed over his month of living in this new house he made his way to the kitchen. it had taken him most of his time in his new home so far to construct, and mine out those tunnels. plus. the borrower had to remain completely silent whilst doing so, or risk being discovered.

Oliver entered from a chipped tile which he had found upon arriving at his new home, and began heading towards the cereal cabinet. the boy propelled his hook at the cabinet door. his recycled fishing hook flew upwards with great speed, it made a slight thwack. Oliver cringed at the sound but kept going. he climbed up the thin rope, which was quite the task, the cabinet being over 30 feet to him. Oliver heaved himself up into the cabinet cautiously.

the cabinet was a lot larger on the inside then it looked. it was dark, but not uncomfortably so. Oliver inhaled the warm scent of grains. the borrower looked around the expanse of boxes, examining each one carefully. finally he found the one which he had been looking for.

Oliver pulled out his knife and cut into the cereal bag. the thick plastic was hard to cu into at first, but after a few tries, the boy was successful. Once he had grabbed enough food to last him a few days, Oliver began to descend the rope, quite thankful that he had his climbing gloves on. he was about 12 feet from the counter top when the knot holding onto the hook came undone.

have you ever been in a situation so scary and shocking that everything seems o slow down? well that's how Oliver felt. Everything went in slow motion, Oliver began plummeting towards the ground the room spinning around him as he fell. Then all at once Oliver landed in a painful heap, twisting his leg in an awkward position causing him to yelp in pain. despite the pain, Oliver still got up, staggering, and causing his head to spin.  he looked up to his now detached hook, still planted firmly on the cabinets wood.

[curlclans-war]

Midchapter break - YellowClan's camp! (Plus a labelled version, and what it would look like from the outside, as it's a cavern underground) The entrance is hidden by a small broom bush. The larger opening is located above the main clearing, and allows a bit of natural light to get inside. The smaller opening slopes into a dug-out pit that allows rainwater to collect, which is great cus it's located right next to the healers' den - it even helps the healers grow plants nearby! The healers' den itself has a low sloped roof making enough space for more than enough nests for sick patients. The entrance is sandy, sloped, and as far as possible from the nursery, which makes it difficult for kits to escape without supervision. The leader's den is located on a ledge above the rest of the camp, this is where they make announcements from. Beneath that is the elder's den, hidden from prying eyes, and then there's a huge cavern for the warriors' den, with easy access to the entrance in case of an ambush. Lastly, between the warriors and the apprentices is a thin tunnel leading to the dirtplace, which is another cave system so the cats can do their business in a hole that drops too far away for anyone to smell or touch the stuff.

[outofthiisworld]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name: Boo! pronouns: She/They (no preference, i like both :3)  preferred comms: tumblr ims mostly! if we mesh well+spoken ooc a lot we can chat on discord too :) i uuh do tend to forget to check my discord messages outside of my webhooks however names of muse: Ophelia, Doc, Copycat and Father Necrosis rn! A few ✨secret-menu✨ muses/npc’s as well

experience in RP: been rp’ing since i was 13 so bout 14 yrs exp rn! (i say 10+ in my rules tho cause that’s one less number i have to change each birthday)— most of my experiences have been w/ a close knit group of buds that soon turned into 1+1 rp’ing with a bestie im still VERY close with :3c

i dabbled in online rp’ing around eeeeeehhh 2015ish but i certainly wasnt putting myself out there like i am now sdfsdfg

best experiences: the entirety of this blog tbh. a few bumps in the road and learning curves to get back into the groove of things, but ultimately i feel like a carved out a really excellent and chill lil’ corner on this site :”) special shoutouts to some really INCREDIBLE partners and buds that make rp’ing on here beyond delightful:

@pzfr is a phenomenal writer, a beyond thoughtful rp partner and perhaps a bit too powerful of a creative— personally if some horrific yet comedic demise should befall me then i trust full custody of doc & ophelia to him 100% HE GETS IT (don’t u worry i’ll live forever tho). For real though, there's such genuine love in the way he works with the genres that inspire him as well as with writing as a whole! @5mind GAAAARLIIIIIIIC. we continuously cook up dubious foods in the dms; our plots are forebodingly diabolical (affectionate) and [covering garlic's ears] i still plan to consume their brain for power. he’s got THE most creative and inspired never before seen characters on this side of the universe that i adore so so so much and tbh if you aren’t following her like…….bro be fr with me rn like why @riiese Mark’s writing legitimately inspires me. They are THE voice master dude. The way they weave words together feels right out of a fairytale with this whimsical magic to it that gets me lost in the moment!!! i can’t help but get swept up in their beautiful prose!!! @dynamoprotocol BRO lowkey i remember being shocked when I saw he followed me. From the writing, the care to detail, the art, Clarissa/Chance’s development, the worldbuilding, AND he’s CHILL AS FUCK??? and you wanna follow ME dude??? for real though, i cant sing enough high praises!! @natterghast i stumbled upon her by chance and sooooooo happy i did <33 their ocs absolutely captivated me, each one has this cozy cosmic horror vibe that im? obsessed with?? AND THE WAY SHE WRITES IS SO GORGEOUS AND FULL OF MEANING AND CARE THEY PUT IN AND [wrattling the bars in my enclosure]

there are so many more i can shout out but i will have to cap it here since this post has gotten ... so long and i am now so sleepy. Genuinely though, everyone I follow and get to see pop up on my dash both makes me day and inspires me as a creative each and every time!!!

pet peeves/dealbreakers: the biggest ones for me rn are like … needlessly aggressive ooc attitudes, be it towards anons, in rules, in posts— esp if someone is flaunting about being mean i uh. have fun i guess? not for me.

Condescending rules, especially those geared towards oc’s, might even result in an insta-block from me. (i promise it’s okay to just say ur selective overall and leave it at that).

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): I generally like to lean more into light-hearted & comedic stuff, esp when first interacting but cus it’s fun! Once I get comfy with my rp buds tho i do loooooove to get into the meat n potatoes— the drama, the action, THE DRAMA!!! <- but a nice balance is important to me!

if everything is doom n’ gloom all the time without either a break, some sort of bitter-sweetness, and/or light at the end of the tunnel— then The Dread™ starts to feel too much for me :0 that being said … horror is … so much fun too <3

plot or memes: memes are a life savior esp when it comes to breaking the ice— i wouldn’t be cookin’ up like. any of the delectable plots i got brewing in the dms without em >:0

long or short replies: BOTH! i tend to naturally lean towards longer replies, moreso because i always have A Lot To Say™️ but i love goofing around with shorter stuff <3

best time to write: if i had my way it’d be an hour or two after i wake up in the morning and made myself my fancy energy drink + did my n.eopets dailies 💕 i try to make sure i get one day off like this each weekend it’s so lovely. Otherwise, i try not to stress about it too much and do what i can. i want my rp buds to know i genuinely dont mind waiting for replies or anything and i think it starts with how you hold yourself to that same degree too

are you like your muse?: ooooo aren’t we all in some way? it’s important to sprinkle some part or facet of YOU into them, especially ocs!

i will say, Doc is far closer alike to me versus anyone else on this blog, esp when it comes to values! he’s just far more gung-ho that i could ever have the energy to be tho. also i hope im not as stubborn as him 💀

i did give Ophelia my weird girl tendencies tho but cranked that shit up into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!!

tagged by: @pzfr

tagging: i uh. i think most of my mutuals already got tagged this SO if you see this and you havent........PLEASE do this and tag me weeheehee <3

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

6 month solstice/full moon check-in livejournalstyle

So i've been advised to recap the past 6 months. Especially since this current Capricorn full moon is exacting at 1 degree Capricorn which happens to be the same degree as My Ascendant. (Pinkmoondoll number 1 :@!!!!!)

The Cancer full moon happened at around 5 degrees on december 26th 2023. That is my ex's birthday. On winter solstice 2023, exactly 6 months ago, i cut her out of my life. We were already broken up for a long time before that but i continued to let her stay in my life for a few reason, namely guilt & fear. Guilt because of the emotional turmoil she projected onto me & fear because, well, we are married and i didn't know what would happen to my immigration status if i cut her off. I still don't! This has not changed yet.

Pretty much everything else about me & my life has changed though. internally at least. Having her out of my life has allowed me so much freedom to get back to who i am & live with integrity. The only people left in my life now are ones who are respectful, kind, have their own shit going on, appreciate that i am my own person too, allow me to breathe, don't expect anything specific from me, don't toy with my mind & emotions. They are just glad to let me be who i am. No one tries to control me anymore. i feel so wonderful because no one can control me.

So the past 6 months has been a series of stages of getting back to Me. unraveling all the lies i was fed for years, healing from the pain of being manipulated, feeling that so much of my energy was wasted. Truly truly wasted. i'm not one of those people who can live without regrets lol. i wish i broke free so much sooner, the stress destroyed my health for years. But ultimately, this is how it went down, so i strive towards acceptance.

For the first few months of this year i was really on a huge substance abuse kick! im not gonna specify what, but iykyk. Like i really just could not bear the weight of what i was feeling. Every day i was finding out more and more info about lies i'd been told, stuff happening behind my back. All i could rly do was take pills & tunnel vision into ableton or drawing or whatever. it helped repress my emotions & i got a lot done during this time but it was unhealthy & the more it progressed i saw how unsustainable it was.

around spring equinox shit HIT THE FAN e_e So this would be the quarter year mark. Well it was march 15 when denji ate the ziploc bag and had to get emergency obstruction removal surgery. That immediately halted all projects i was working on. I was still taking a lot of pills to cope with the stress of that situation & at that point i needed them just to function at a base level. Then i think april 4th or 5th was when i found out Sammy died, which...i mean yeah i've spoken a lot on how horrific that was & still remains to be.

I mean , like, that shit, rearranged my whole brain, that shit reset me. this also marked the time period where like... my psychic senses really began evolving. idt it was necessarily linked to sammy's death, it just weirdly shifted around that time. i think the lunar eclipse in late march caused some type of quantum leap idk man idek. Then the solar eclipse in april sealed the deal. Ever since then the craziest stuff that i cant even rly talk about has been happening to me & i immediately felt compelled to like, quit all drugs and just fucking ascend lol.

Sooo first i started w pill numero uno, the really diabolical one, middle of april i just said fuck it, i am done. at this point i had abused it so hard it wasnt even doing shit for me anymore, even when i took tolerance breaks, it was genuinely pointless to continue. i did wonder how the fuck i was ever gonna function without it and i was scared. The final few weeks of april were just a total write off, didnt do shit, totally depressed & grieving & miserable but weirdly hopeful too. Like i knew i just had to suffer and get it over with.

pill 2 was actually pretty easy to cut back on because ive quit it a bunch of times before & know what to expect, and since i was already suffering so bad from pill 1 after about a week i thought yeah i might as well stop the other one too lol. there was no noticable increase in suffering from stopping it. So by the 2nd week of May it had been around 3 weeks of feeling like pure ass but i was starting to feel WAYYYY better and my normal goofy self again.

That is the worst thing about adhd meds for me lol they robbed me of my whimsy and goofiness T_T Like i was so serious all the time T_T it was even kinda affecting my relationship w slimbo. Like i couldnt be affectionate i was just a robot. All i cared about was working and i was so impatient. As i came off the meds i started to remember how nice it is to just be slow, be in the moment, enjoy simple things with my love, not constantly bound to this gnawing neurosis pushing me to squeeze maximum productivity out of every single second.

like i said , i'm 1 degree cap rising sooo this neurosis is something that exists firmly within my personality, for sure. i mean, if u cant tell, I Be Doing Things lol. And i get very competitive with myself. the dark side of me is that i want to be the best at everything. A big part of my adult life has been learning how to relax. learning how to have fun, learning how to be a little pointless. Without the meds this is a struggle for me so with the meds it was genuinely impossible not to be completely controlled by the rabid impulse to work.

So getting off the meds was a big exercise in confronting my fear of Not being the best. my fear of chilling, my fear of being still & unoccupied. But i did it! And i feel so much better. Like holy shit, i feel SO much better.

By the mid-May i was picking up steam in just being able to live again. a lot of the brainfog & physical heaviness lifted. I was still not very productive at art or music, but i was getting really good at not letting that bug me. spending a lot of time working in the garden, got back into yoga, reading, just doing leisurely stuff that felt expansive to my inner world rather than trying to externalize anything. psychic experiences continued to amplify. became interested in tarot again as i no longer felt i was living in fear of my higher self.

after getting off the pills i began feeling really fixated on the notion of quitting weed. Previously this had been genuinely unthinkable to me. Like, me and weed, we were One, every person i'd ever been as an adult had smoked weed, it was weirdly part of my identity, for 15 years i genuinely believed i could not exist without weed, like i would just lose my fucking mind if i stopped. i did not believe in myself.

But as the psychic experiences progressed i felt strongly that i want to go deeper. Previously i had been afraid to go deeper. In that regard i think i was truly afraid of my own potential. I wasn't ready for it, and that's actually fine. A lot of people aren't.. But as May was coming to a close i knew that i was ready, and actually, it was crucial of me to put an end to this. I was enjoying finally having some sense of peace & joy after how crummy it felt quitting the pills , i didn't really want to disturb that state of being, but i also was having that feeling again that i just need to "get it over with".

So when it struck June 1st i was like yeah fuck it. Let this mark a new beginning. as soon as i realize something is no longer in my best interest its almost impossible for me to keep going with it! like i can't live with myself. I guess that's where my fixation on being "the best" can serve me sometimes. if that makes sense.. Like i willllll always end up putting my foot down and saying NO :T

So yeah. it's recent enough that i don't really feel the need to detail how the first 2 weeks of june were sooooo sucky and emotional and generally dysfunctional. couldn't even read or draw or do any minor tasks i was sooo out of my mind. Not much needs to be said about it. i just had to simply allow time to pass. a lot of days spent in bed crying & dissolving.

right around the 2 week mark we went to missouri & this is when i started noticing myself feeling way way better. the whole time i didn;t even think about weed or my symptoms at all. i was so present in each moment and it was so easy to just feel....alive. also had some intense psychic experiences, one of which i haven;t even talked about on here, and i probably wont because its too sacred. The overarching theme between all the experiences i've been having since late march is that they feel too sacred to tell anyone. The high priestess emphasizes secrecy in some matters..

Which brings us to now, june 21, 21 days w/o weed, 3 weeks. I know that sounds like nothing but this has been 15 YEARS coming. that's half my lifespan so far. and now i just feel fine. i got thru the blues of quitting, all the repressed emotions, im sure they'll still pop up from time to time too. but ultimately i am just so fucking relieved to be free of that shit and like, functioning, able to sleep, not riddled with anxiety and self hatred like i was when i started as a grieving baby teenager.

i guess i wanted to write this to remind myself what a monumental shift i have made in my life in the first half of 2024, and how insanely far i've come in the grand scheme of my life, in a relatively short timespan. because i keep getting this feeling of self doubt where i'm like wait... it's almost july and i've barely completed any tasks, i still havent finished my music, wtf am i doing :( But i dont think i was supposed to finish it until i shed all these habits that were causing major roadblocks in my path!

shed my ex, shed pills, shed weed. shed grief! shed self doubt. emptied my vessel & it has allowed room for so much new life to come through. new forces being channeled. my mediumship abilities now are in focus and taking off at an accelerated rate. for the first time in my life i'm not in survival mode. i feel this is my reward for living through it all when i wanted nothing more than to give up for so many years. i prayed for death, every day, i really did. now i am dead! the old me died. and i carry her memory with honor, i carry on the parts of her that wished to remain and be loved, but she is effectively dead.

for the first time in my life i am really proud of myself. i don't feel so competitive with myself anymore. i don't need to prove myself externally. i do not require any validation of my existence. i can sit with myself without feeling extreme self induced dread & despair. i feel worthy even though i am still (from the outside looking in) at the exact same place i was at 6 months ago.

i'm finally feeling ready to work a little harder again, but not because i'm desperate to gain anything from it. just because it's fun, and fundamentally, as stated above, that drive is a part of my personality, a part of me that i love & cherish. number 1 is the magician. the mage patchouli ~~~ the alchemist. create for the sake of creating.

if anyone read this far, thats wild xD but thats dope too.. I guess one thing i'd like for the future is just to inspire people that you can alchemize the tragedies of your life and all the suffering into something much greater than yourself. You can get through it and be happy with your meager little life one day, even if it takes 30 or 40 years, it's worth it to try & worth it to get here. You do not have to wallow in sadness and self doubt forever, even if u see no way out rn.

i'm happy just being me ^_^ i have so much fun when i'm in my mind. bladee voice ~~be in your mind, be in your mind, be in your mind~~. i love how simple everything feels right now. i love how people & entities can come to me because they trust me to receive their messages & understand them. My own projections do not get in the way anymore. I shed so much. I am free. Happy Strawberry Moon everyone.

SIncerely, PMD9

[quitealotofsodapop]

[I love the idea of the monkeys all sitting around watching cartoons. I bet MK was the one to recommend ATLA as a show.]

I mean, it is ATLA, the greatest show ever created – and considering most stuff nowadays is built on history, references and pop cultural osmosis stuff, kinda limits to what can they just watch without having to pause and explain everything.

Also, just imagine their reactions to stuff like the Face Stealer, what happened with the Moon Spirit, the SECREEEET TUUUNELLL, Toph being Toph (I’ve seen people say LMKs Mei reminds them of Toph, so how accurate would you say that is?), the finale?

Favorite show amongst all of them.

referencing the wukongverse watching ATLA.

Koh the Face Stealer is pure nightmare-fuel for the monkeys. At least one is screaming. They try to see which of them could supress their emotions long enough to get away from that creepy mf - winner is Sugar, whos good at pretending not to feel anything. Dasheng almost wins but he's too quick to anger to appear emotionless.

The Moon Spirit arc definitely makes some of the monkeys pause cus it reminds them a lot of Houyi and Chang'e - a woman (Yue) taking upon a lunar burden while her love is confined to earth (Sokka). And ofc the little kids cry when the Koi fish is killed :(.

The funnier stuff they probably dont get at first, but they end up with the Secret Tunnel song stuck in their heads.

They all think Toph is a bamf. Comparisions to Mei are made based on color scheme alone. They also joke that Zuko looks a lot like Red Son. XD

Overall they'd probably enjoy it for the storyline and for not talking down its audience on matters like war or death. The bloodbending episode def gives them all the shivers.