#c) absolutely no impulse control

[napitali]

Sometimes, you get bored of your fluffy cleopatra bangs. You grow it out the korean boy band style, sometimes roll it cause you're in your vintage phase. Next you wanna perm curl on it. It'll look so cute and funky!

Then you somehow end up with the uneven goth length bangs and no makeup skills whatsoever.

[pankielovesfan]

How would Fan react when learning about the reveal? Read my fun long ramble!

I need to put this down somewhere. Here is my fun not so structured analysis!!!! this is something i think a lot about. of course I do.

I doodled a small little graph of reactions I think he would go through that I will elaborate on further in the paragraphs below. I'm not sure about the order but it'd be something like these stages when processing it - most likely.

This is analyzed from the idea that Fan did not previously predict this in any way or expect it, but I do also suspect he might know! (Which, I'll explain later for his reaction to that.)

Fan's an incredibly emotional and impulsive person, he would definitely have a strong outer reaction to the information. This may be biased coming from me since Fan is my favorite to analyze but aside from Suitcase he would probably be handling it the worst after being told about it, OR just having the most notable reaction! This is considering he was not made to be a contestant but to devote his love, identity, and purpose to the show, which makes him revolve around the show much more than anyone else - since it is a built-in interest in him that he's dedicated his entire existence to, even when he tried to build himself beyond it- he still surrounds himself with Inanimate Insanity even after his elimination. It is forever tied to his mind and interests contrary to many contestants who try to separate from the show and competition entirely.

Fan's most substantial development in Hatching The Plan was the fact that there were many possibilities out there for him to discover for himself (and that others were there for him through that change and discovery). While he recognizes this and states on Fan's Fantastic Features that he's trying to test his limit and push past his comfort zone (notably while in a safe controlled environment where this change can occur comfortably for him) he is still "stuck" in Inanimate Insanity whether he recognizes this or not. He is at Hotel OJ, surrounded by the contestants, and he is still on MePhone4's island, like any other contestant. While Fan has convinced himself that he is more than just a fan of the show and that he is improving as a person, this development is still slow (obvious, coming from a person such as Fan who struggles with it) and he is still heavily attached to the core of his personality - the core which he was built to be in the first place. His love for the show is so clearly his own dedication and passion, and it truly does feel like his own CHOICE to love the show as much as he does. Even if he was created for it, it is a part of him that he loves and puts confidence into.

I swear these earlier points play into this bear with me,

So once Fan is told he was created by MePhone4, after the initial shock dies down, he would be in denial of it, of course, as Fan would react to any new information he had not considered about the show. Some "It can't be"s and some "There is absolutely no way"s being said by him, especially if he had not foreseen this coming. An instinctive reaction coming from Fan (which would also apply to Test Tube) is immediately questioning it, wanting answers- most definitely from MePhone4 himself. I don't think he'd believe Cobs if he told him, maybe not even Suitcase or Test Tube, he'd need to find the evidence for it and piece together if this even made sense at all.

Once he starts to consider it and all the pieces fit together for him as he looks back on everything, he'll let go of that denial. That's when it first really hits him. One of his first reactions is positive. He'd find validation in the fact he was created specifically for the show, he'd be honored and glad he was an actual piece of the show- not just a viewer or contestant, he was actually part of the show he loved so much. Fan puts a lot of his confidence into being the number 1 fan of inanimate insanity, as everyone knows, and being questioned on this or having people challenge him always strongly shows his insecurity over it. But knowing that he quite literally is, without a doubt, the biggest fan of inanimate insanity- and that he actually had this purpose and that he was made for what he loved to do- that would validate him immensely. He would thrive on his notion for a while until the existential crisis started to leap in.

He'd try to be acceptant of it, and this time around he would be in denial of his own emotions. He'd try to show how well he was taking this and to pride himself in being the biggest ii fan ever, so he puts up a confident front which is obviously not normal to anyone who sees him. He'd try his best not to think about the other implications of his existence being made for reality TV. He would try his best to appear in control and unburdened to prove to both others and himself that he was taking it well. I don't think this stage in his realization will go on for long. I think this would fluctuate a LOT depending on his mood.

At one point he does start to question himself. He overthinks his existence and his emotions, and if they are genuine- what if what he feels is fake? Just generated love? What if he truly doesn't like Inanimate Insanity? What's a real feeling from him and what's a fake one?! A million thoughts that some may not even make sense but this is where the existentialism really gets to him. Every time he felt excitement or love for the show, was that even his own emotions? Was that just made by MePhone4 so he could get some appreciation for his show- and maybe he'd get mad that MePhone4 kept dismissing him. Maybe he'd wonder why he was made if he's not being recognized and rewarded for how much dedication- if it was even his own- that he put into appreciating MePhone4, a dedication that was going unnoticed or deemed annoying by him.

Something I mentioned earlier, about Fan learning to embrace new opportunities for himself and about how he was still trapped in the show. He realizes he is forever tied to the show, and all his attempts at making changes for himself and being more than just a fan suddenly feel... meaningless to him. All he was ever made for from the start was to be a fanboy of the show, and he had tried to build himself around that. But those efforts were for nothing if this is all he ever was- just a fan. That was his entire identity, he was never anything other than that. This is all that could ever come out of him. So what was the point in trying? His shell might've been the only place he'd ever felt safe in anyways- and once he remembers it, his old coping mechanisms seem incredibly tempting. Fan would retreat back into his shell. Things just seemed so much simpler if he did, he wouldn't have to deal with all this overthinking if he just stuck to what he was made for, something he already had found so much comfort and significance in. He uses his shell to cope once again, regressing, turning back to his purpose. This would be how he copes with this new information, by embracing what it taught him that he was. He'd be in this state for a while, he'd probably try to pretend he never even learned anything and creating a false reality of his own security. Being a fan is still important to him, and something he feels so deeply about that he's urged into fully embracing it again. early season 2 fan is back babyyyy!

Not sure how long it would go on for, or even how long it would take for him to go through these stages, but this is somewhat of the process I believe he'd have! I think Suitcase and Fan should have a talk about dealing with all of this. possibly. I feel like it will boil down to "if it feels true to you, that's all that matters." for Fan dealing with this. I could definitely see Suitcase saying something similar to him.

As for him reacting to it after already having theorized this would happen or at the very least suspect it, I think it would go similar to that one drawing I made. He'd be proud at first, and it wouldn't sink in as fast because his pride comes first! But to have it actually confirmed to him would then send him into that same realization as stage 3 of processing it. Something something, it goes the same after this.

Anyways i love fannnn i could talk about him for hours boy i love you i wonder if we'll even get everyone's reactions to the reveal or if they'll even tell anyone else but if we do Fan would definitely have a prominent reaction to it <- guy who loves fan saying this. look at this bias

[suhkusa]

EGOIST 20.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. angst, hurt no comfort, the aftermath of past chapters

A/N. me when

-> MASTERLIST.

Everything you did was on impulse. 

You acted before thinking things through rationally and it was chaotic.

Your heart and head hurt so bad, you felt like there was nothing more that you could do except sob and mull over your mistakes.

Mistake.

You felt absolutely stupid for thinking something was different. Something would change. But the universe came around and found the worse way, the worse person, to prove you dead wrong. 

To make matters worse, you were depressed and jobless. At this rate, you’d have to move back home with your family and work at a local retail store, and you were not going back to that lifestyle if you could help it.

On the brighter side, your emails from news outlets and your notifications from social media had finally begun to slow. At this point, it’s been a week since the initial incident.

The only person you’ve kept in touch with from your former job was Kiyoomi. According to him, the emails hadn’t slowed on his end, but that was to be expected since he was the center of many fangirls’ attention.

He’d keep you at least a little sane when you felt your mentals decline. 

As for the other man, you hadn’t heard or seen anything of him. Which was definitely for the best. You were actually surprised he hadn’t shown up at your door, because your threat to call the police if he came was half-empty.

And you absolutely hate yourself, because even though you know he did you extremely wrong, there’s a sliver of you that misses him. That wishes that he hadn’t been the cause of all your hurt so that he could be the one who is comforting you.

But the world is cruel and so was Atsumu.

———

You had expected it to take months to find a new job, but after you had helped manage a champion team, the calls came in faster than you could answer.

There were too many good offers, even offers from teams that MSBY had beaten. You took the easy way out of each call by telling them that you’d get back to them ASAP. You’d probably have to research the teams and players before really considering or accepting a job offer. 

Other than job-hunting, you found yourself at home nearly all day. You’d play video games with Sakusa or just do some cleaning around the house. You’d found a new hobby with gardening in your spare time. Though, you weren’t very good at keeping them alive.

If not doing any of that, you’d be caught up in your head. Whether it be thinking of the past or worrying about the future, your line of thought would somehow find its way to him. You’d scold yourself every time, but you couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts. You’re scared that if you were to see him, you’d crumble all over again. You don’t know if you had it in you to turn him away, even after everything.

A knock at your door causes you to jump. You quickly get up to open it to Kiyoomi.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you bow to him jokingly, before he walks in. 

“I was here two days ago, not too much,”

You laugh before the two of you walk to your living room, making yourselves comfortable.

“How has the unemployed life been treating you?” he asks as he begins to connect his Nintendo Switch to your TV.

“Good, actually. I got like almost 8 different job offers, I think one of them is actually from an overseas team,” 

His eyes widen at that, “Impressive,”

You nudge at him, “Yeah, I’m actually considering that one, it might be in California? But it’s far, but at the same time maybe that’s not a bad thing,”

“Could finally get away from all this madness,” Sakusa adds, taking your remote to switch the source. 

“Mm, yeah. But at the same time this is my home and I don’t feel like I got closure with—”

Sakusa’s head snaps your direction, his eyes look at you knowingly causing you to stop. “Don’t start,”

You groan in distress, “I can’t,” you throw your head back, “I’m a mess,”

He uses the Switch controller to select a game, giving you the other controller. “Maybe you should seriously consider that overseas offer. It’d be a nice change of scenery, and it’s not a forever thing. At the end of the day you could always come back. I think you being here reminds you too much of him, and it’s not doing you any good,”

Your eyes widen, “Woah, so serious, Omi,”

His eyes squint at you, “I am serious,”

You laugh, taking the controller into your hands.

“I will though,” you continue, “You’re probably right, I might just need to untether myself from this god forsaken country for a while. Too many bad memories,”

“Thank you, Kiyoomi,” you smile, clicking the button to ready up your character.

“Anytime,”

———

Atsumu considers going on hiatus. Contrast to you, you’ve been on his mind 24/7. Atsumu always hated those stupid “everything reminds me of them,” jokes, but now he seriously relates.

He can’t drown himself in other women or alcohol. Because it feels wrong. He finds himself needing and wanting to be loyal to you, even though he hasn’t seen you in more than a month.

Atsumu avoids asking Sakusa about you. Mostly because the last time he did ask, Sakusa told him off. He opted to make burner accounts to see what you were up to on social media. Unfortunately for him, you stopped posting almost entirely before turning your account private.

He knew he was getting borderline obsessive but he couldn’t help it. He was already fighting the urge to go to you himself everyday. To try and ask around to anyone and everyone who may know what you’ve been up to.

Atsumu knows all of this is wrong of him. He was the one who did you wrong. Nothing he’d do would ever make it up to you. 

Everything was working against him. 

After you left that day, he had told Angie off and blocked her once and for all.

When he found out you had resigned, he almost considered quitting. 

He wanted to curse every higher being for allowing things to turn out this way.

But nothing could compare to how he felt the day he eavesdropped on Kiyoomi’s phone call. His phone call with you. He stood by the doorway of the locker room as he listened as closely as he could.

After so long he’d finally gotten something, crumbs, of what you were doing. Though it was definitely not what he had expected or what he wanted. 

“You’re taking the job?” Sakusa sounds excited, Atsumu assumes he’s talking about you getting a new job, “That’s good, sounds like a good offer,”

There’s a pause, and he guesses that you’re probably saying something in response from the other end.

“Are you nervous though? The U.S is pretty far, but California is cool from what I’ve heard,”

Atsumu’s heart sinks to his stomach. California? You were leaving the country?

His mind is running wild. Atsumu obviously knew you’d eventually find a new job, but he had thought you’d still be within arms reach. Close enough for him to reach out to you when he feels like the time is right. But across the globe? Atsumu is so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t register the sound of Sakusa ending the call with you or him coming out of the locker room. 

Atsumu nearly jumps at the other man’s voice, “Oh, you,”

He has no words, and just stares at Sakusa. “You heard, huh?”

“Good for her, she’ll finally be able to get away from you.”

The words from Sakusa are like a slap in the face, and if he was talking about anyone other than you Atsumu would’ve let him have a piece of his mind. But Sakusa was right. 

He didn’t want to sound conceited or boost his own ego, but he probably had some part in your decision making. And while in the past, he probably would’ve felt some sick gratification from driving you far away. But now it just made him feel sick. Just sick. 

Atsumu is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wants to see you, to try and change your mind, he knows his efforts would be wasted.

Still, would it really hurt to try?

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[softdykellie]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ illicit affairs | ellie w.

PAIRING : dealer!ellie x fem!reader

SUMMARY : ellie williams has been in love with her best friend for as long as she could remember, there was only one problem: her girlfriend. that is until reader finds herself needing some comfort.

WARNING : cheating and somewhat nsfw!

WORD COUNT : 1,027

Your head was in Ellie’s lap for the fourth time that week, the familiar smell of weed and sandalwood overwhelming your senses as she exhaled the cream smoke facing towards the ceiling. Abby had cancelled on you again, urgent basketball practice, desperate excuses, bashful nicknames, a promise that would not be kept of making it up to you. Ellie passed you the blunt placing it right between your softly opened lips and watched with eager green eyes as you inhaled, her teaching, as you could finally avoid the embarrassing coughs rejecting the substance from your throat. Nothing could get past your best friend, especially not the tears that prickled your eyes in abnormal gloss.

“Hey” she said softly, taking hold of your chin between her fingers, squinting eyes as you exhaled directly at her face as a failed distraction tactic “Abby’s a fucking asshole, alright?”

“Don't talk about her like that” you defended instinctively.

Ellie raised both her hands in defense before snatching the blunt from you and placing it down, unusually letting it go to waste and bringing a pout to your face in response “All I’m saying is if I had a pretty girl like you waiting for me to get back every day I would do absolutely nothing of my life except going home to you”

You had kissed once, years back. Two sixteen year olds who had gotten into the liquor cabinet blissfully unaware of when to stop, challenging each other for one more chug. When the world spun out of control, a staring match bloomed for grounding. She’d figure you’d both burn out laughing at the nothingness, but your irises turned out to be magnets. Twenty seconds you stood in silence, basking in each other's personal sunlight beaming of indecipherable desire. You leaned in first, she remembered. Strawberry lip gloss like an ode. She still licked her lips after every taste of strawberry milk– remnants of you. You never spoke of the kiss again.

“She's got half the cheerleading squad chasing after her at every game, way prettier girls at every corner-”

“They've got nothing on you, have you seen you? Fuck, you are breathtaking. I'm a fine arts major and half a blunt away from going asthmatic, trust me I know breathtaking when I see it”

“What did you lace your smoke with, I think it's messing with your brain”

“I’m not being funny” she said seriously, scooting in a way that forced you to sit up from her lap and face forward. You weren't entirely oblivious to the romantic undertones of your friendship with Ellie, it had been there long before either of you fully knew what it meant and it would likely stay long after you have decided to act as if it wasn't there, this was just the first time you felt impulsed to act on it. The way she looked at you drew shivers up your spine and tired your eyelids, feeling completely seen and understood under the warmest gaze. You had thought yourself insufficient many times, unloveable a hundred more, and though not fully anyone's fault but your own, those doubts seemed to only slip away when Ellie had you trapped by her gaze. You watched intently as she lowered her eyes towards your lips. Your voice reacted before your body could.

“Ellie we can't-”

“Shh” she mumbled, leaning in “tell me when to stop”

Her lips ghosted over your own and you closed your eyes at the feeling of her warm breath so close, you were only children when your first and only kiss had occurred and Ellie has had plenty of experience afterwards, nowhere near as shy as you had remembered her to be. Her nose caressed your own in the lightest of touch and her hands reached up behind your neck, gripping you. You whispered her name in disapproval as it was all you could bear to do with the fast approaching lump in your throat blocking all senses. She hushed you again, leaning against your face and getting abnormally close to your ears, taking a strand of hair and placing it behind it.

“Tell me to stop and I will” she whispered in a low voice.

Before you could process anything her lips sucked in your earlobe softly, you let out a gasp that only made you feel her smile against your skin, slowly trailing wet kisses down your neck stopping by the clavicule. She stopped herself to look you in the face, demanding softly you opened your eyes and against all judgement you complied. Inches stood between you, there was still time to look back. Except maybe you didn't want to. You were desperate for attention and there it was, being handed to you on a silver platter by someone you so dearly trusted. It had been the second time you were first to lean in. You captured Ellies lips in the softest of kisses, melting into her touch that held you at the waist as though any gust of wind would carry you away from her reach. Soon enough the kiss was hungry, desperate even, your hands at her hair pulling it down, letting her groans echo inside your mouth, she leaped you into her lap and traced the arch of your back underneath the oversized shirt you wore till it reached and undone the clasp of your bra.

“Breathtaking” Ellie mumbled against your lips, grabbing a fistful of your breast and squeezing it, proud of herself at the moan you let out. She kissed down your neck once again, pulling on your shirt so you'd raise your arms and allow her to pull it off you. She wanted to hear her name come out of your lips, wanted to claim territory in every inch of your skin and dip herself between your legs with such earnest desire you'd know deep in your bones your girlfriend had never touched you this way.

And then your phone rang. The pet name baby lighting up your screen. You looked between your phone and Ellie for a moment, and then you picked up.

“Hi, yeah, I'll go find you. I missed you too.”

[wordbunch]

SFW Alphabet: Pippin

a/n: whichever big brain anon requested this was absolutely right to do so! he is BABEY and this blog is gradually turning into a Pippin stan account? ALSO I've changed up the template for the alphabet a little bit, so you will see some new categories, yayy <3 i hope you enjoy, please be so kind to reblog and i'm looking forward to any comments <3

A = AFFECTION (how affectionate are they and how do they show affection?) He is literally if affection was a person and he isn't particularly concerned with the notion of personal space. He will show you affection in any and every way possible – endless hugs, always being physically close, giving you little gifts, and most importantly making you laugh as much as he can on the daily basis.

B = BEST FRIEND (what would they be like as a best friend and how would the friendship start?) Very loyal, and of course chaotic and fun, always with some crazy ideas. There is never a dull moment, he likes to just randomly drop by and go on a little adventure with you. However, sometimes you need to be the person who balances out his craziness and energy, so that you don't end up getting into too much trouble.

C = CUDDLES (do they like to cuddle & how?) He absolutely LOVES to cuddle, and he would never stop if he didn't have to. There is no particular favorite cuddling position – they're all equally valid because he gets to hold and be held by his favorite person in the whole world. Some days he will wrap around you as much as possible, other days he wants to be the little spoon, it constantly varies.

D = DOMESTIC (do they want to settle down; how are they at cooking/cleaning?) Quite frankly, he didn't think about any of that before you – he is fairly young after all – but the second he fell in love with you (and you reciprocated it) he was like THIS is what I want for the rest of time!!! He can be a specifically organized mess, but he is very enthusiastic about helping you and learning how to do things around the house, it's really sweet.

E = ENCHANTED (what was their first opinion/feeling about you when you just met?) He was amazed and sort of fascinated by you. It wasn't love at first sight at all, it was just some kind of instant fascination and he knew he wanted to befriend you and get to know you immediately. Very soon, however, he would start feeling a bit too giddy if he ran into you somewhere, and mention you a bit too often to his friends.

F = FIANCE(E) (how do they feel about commitment; how quickly would they want to get married?) Once he is in love with you, he is all yours, with literally no interest in anyone else. Your relationship is basically best friends in love, so he doesn't feel limited in doing anything fun – you will probably just join in anyway. It would be pretty much the same if you got married, and it means having sleepovers with your best friend every single night! So he's totally on board with that, whenever you're up for it. Maybe really fast, actually. Impulse control who?

G = GENTLE (how gentle are they, physically and emotionally?) He is a BABY. Okay yes, he can be a little shit too, but first and foremost he is a baby. He takes too many things to heart and then overthinks them; and while he can admittedly be a little bit impulsive and rash in some decisions, he would never ever act harshly towards you in any way. He literally showers you with love constantly, it's just who he is.

H = HUGS (do they like hugs, how often, what are they like?) Loves loves loves hugs, and your hugs feel like the safest, warmest place in the world. Loves giving and receiving surprise hugs from behind, quick hugs in passing, long hugs to forget about any problems… Depending on the height difference, he'd be a big fan of giving you a side hug and then walking like that – holding hands is just too basic sometimes.

I = I LOVE YOU (how fast they say the L-word) Really quickly and maybe on accident, because he can talk a lot, and it wouldn't be the first time he spoke without thinking. When his own words reach his brain, his facial expression is absolutely priceless, all wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

J = JEALOUSY (how jealous do they get and how they act then) It's extremely rare that he gets jealous, he trusts you with his life and more. If he sees someone getting a little too friendly with you, his first thought would be something among the lines of 'oh nice, they're making new friends!' but if it goes on a little too long, he will feel a bit insecure rather than jealous, and go sulk in a corner somewhere until you find him; you thought it was worrisome how suddenly you couldn't hear him talking someone's ears of or singing on a table. Just go and find him and remind him that he is your favorite person and you would never ditch him for someone else, and the cheerful mood will return.

K = KISSES (what are their kisses like, where do they like to kiss you/be kissed?) Chaotic and cute and plenty! Like previously established, he is the biggest fan of physical affection, but sometimes he still hesitates a little bit when it comes to kissing you in public. Over time he gets more confident about it, and he will just dot a bunch of kisses all over your face until you're a giggling mess. If you kiss him on the forehead or the top of his head, he will melt into a puddle of love because it makes him feel like you're proud to have him.

L = LOVE LANGUAGE (what is their love language and how they show you love) I think his main two love languages, out of the five, would be physical affection and gift giving; but not any necessarily fancy gifts: more like a pretty flower he saw by the road and thought you would appreciate, or a silly little written poem. I know it's not among the five love languages, but MAKING YOU LAUGH is his absolute favorite thing to do, and you have more inside jokes than you can count.

M = MORNINGS (how are mornings spent with them) He loves to sleep in if he can, but once he's awake, he's awake, even if somehow he woke up at 5 am. You always wake up in a tangled mess of limbs and blankets, and in the mornings is when he is quietest, until you start making breakfast together and wake up half the neighborhood with singing, laughing, doing silly voices or accidentally dropping things.

N = NICKNAMES (do they like to use cute nicknames for you/you for them?) He will use every possible existent nickname, and he is partial to coming up with silly ones, just for you. He will most definitely blush if you give him one, it makes him feel super special.

O = OPEN (when would they start revealing things about themselves; everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) He is talkative and trusting, so a lot of things might come out accidentally; and besides, he is quite easy to read anyway. However, when it comes to more emotional matters, or something serious that is bothering him, he might act a little more closed off. All you need to do is remind him once that you'll listen and try to help, no matter what it is, for him to tell you almost everything.

P = PATIENCE (how easily angered are they?) Literally never?? You've never met anyone so chill with the most 'it is what it is' attitude. The only exception is if someone else is in any way rude or threatening to you, then he won't hesitate to give them a piece of his mind.

Q = QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you – every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget most things?) It's very arbitrary, sometimes he will remember something very small and almost insignificant, but forget something more important, or the other way round. He certainly doesn't remember everything, but that's not to say he doesn't try. And it's really okay if he needs you to remind him of something every now and then.

R = REMEMBER (favorite moment in your relationship) The first time when you two spent his birthday together – you actually threw him a surprise party with the biggest homemade cake, a bunch of little presents, and of course, fireworks! There was music and delicious food, and all his friends, and you – it was one of his favorite days of all time, and it spoke volumes on how you felt about him and the things that you'd do.

S = SECURITY (how protective are they; how they'd like to be protected and how they protect you) It's a mixed bag – he is often scared of something happening to you, but also he knows you're perfectly capable of defending yourself and he likes to watch you being all tough and independent. Maybe just for the sake of his confidence, sometimes let him step in and be a little protective, it's cute. If you stand up for him when he is being criticized, he will blush profusely, and give you a shy 'thanks', but he will keep thinking about it for a while.

T = TRY (how much effort do they put into dates, gifts, anniversaries, everyday stuff) He thinks you're too special and too wonderful not to be treated accordingly, and he will try to show you that through a bunch of little things. He loves to surprise you in small ways on at least a weekly basis, but for your birthday or anniversary or something „bigger“ like that, a huge bouquet of flowers is a must (seriously, it's so big that he barely carries it without stumbling), and he will try to make your favorite dessert for you too.

U = UGLY (some bad habits of theirs) Sometimes he unnecessarily doubts himself and even questions whether he is good enough for you, but luckily you can tell when he's overthinking those things almost immediately, and then you reassure him in more ways than one.

V = VACATION (how you spend lazy days and free time) The two of you always get up to something and it’s not that common that you’re just lying around, but in case you are, it’s most likely somewhere outside under the shade of a beautiful tree, catching some sun, talking each other’s ears off and sharing some delicious snacks!!!

W = WISH (something that they really want to do/experience with you?) He wants to do every single thing imaginable with you, because you make everything better and more enjoyable just by being there – the bucket list is endless!

X = XTRA (a random headcanon for them) He is organized but in a chaotic way: while his things might sometimes look like a mess, he always knows where everything is. And he really loves taking baths with obligatory singing.

Y = YUCK (what are some things they dislike generally or in a partner?) People who are mean and/or negative, because he is the exact opposite of those things, always tries to be nice to everyone and look for something positive in every situation.

Z = ZZZ (a sleep habit of theirs) For somebody that small, he takes up an astonishing amount of space in a bed – you have no idea how someone can be so sprawled, yet sleep without a care in the world.

-

taglist my beloved @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc @entishramblings @founder-of-imladris @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-placee @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorin-painter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency @starryeyedrogue @dinofromspac3 @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @moth-makay

@bubbleyukismile @kitexvi @herstudios

[liquidorcard]

Hey fam we're gunna inact in some sinful behavior again and get real for a sec here on the shitposting blog so TW: Discussion of substance abuse, mental health issues, SA, etc.

You may have noticed I took a bit of a break from posting for a bit. It wasn't entirely due to Lily's "junkie" rant here, but it was partially responsible.

A lot about Lily high key cheeses my biscuits, I've made that pretty clear. Lily and I have a . . . Strange amount in common in some regards. I'm a trans person myself, I come from a similar, shall we say, "dysfunctional home environment" Lily does. We're even both Canadian, close enough in age I grew up with a lot of the exact same regional-specific media she did. We've had some other life experiences in common.

With that said, Lily's almost like the evil funhouse mirror version of my life. I was sexually assaulted for the first time at basically the exact same age Courtney was. Lily reminds me very much of my first partner, who physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. Unlike Lily, I am from an actual multi-racial family and have had the somewhat unique experiences and gotten the somewhat unique perspective of being a white person partially influenced and organically adopted into more predominantly POC culture. I've had to come to terms with my own white privilege and the ways Western colonialism has influenced me on a level far more personal than it would be for someone from a more monoracial and monocultural family than mine. While also coming to terms with and accepting the ways my family has been judged and discriminated against for being so blended.

There's also just the fact that Lily seems to (I wonder if, on some level, intentionally) act like the alt-right caricature of a progressive leftist in the most performative way imaginable, while also clearly not actually being left-wing at all. My pet theory is that the only thing stopping Lily from going full Blaire White MAGA butt monkey is that her pride can't take it. Being treated like a useful idiot for the right to "prove" they're not bigots while treating her with open hostility in every other regard. So she's as "leftist" as she needs to be to get the 12 year olds she's trying to court on her side because they don't know any better. While being profoundly anti-labor, pro-capitalist. Even though the only reason why the alt-right hyper focus on identity politic bullshit like that is becayse it's a wedge issue that allows them to skirt around talking about actual policy.

There's also just the fact that someone can be so, confidently, shit-eating levels of wrong and stupid about the most asinine things. I actually work professionally in the fields Lily has decided her opinions are worth vomiting out into the ether. Fields people in general are way too comfortable speaking with authority on shit they know absolutely nothing about-- but Lily is for sure a special case.

Point is: I'm very used to Lily making me go into turbo big upsetti spaghetti mode. I've been aware of her for YEARS. I'm over it . . . Until I'm not.

I've alluded to it a few times already: I'm a recovered drug user, though I've struggled with general substance abuse and impulse control issues for longer. Particularly because of untreated mental health issues like C-PTSD, a dissociative disorder, gender dysphoria and ADHD. Particularly because of untreated physical health issues that just a few years ago almost killed me. Issues that caused me significant pain, mental distress, and slowly worsening disability since I was 11 years old. Went totally untreated until they came close to taking my life. It's no coincidence that I started stealing my parent's booze when I was around 12 or 13 years old.

The worst, ugliest, most humiliating aspects of yourself? Addiction will put them front and center. It will cause you to do things, act in ways, find out things about yourself you're never going to be able to unknow. You have to live with for the rest of your life.

You're aware of it-- the whole time. What a fucking creature you've become. How you are hurting the people closest to you. It's not fun. The whole time, you want to stop. But you can't. You don't know why you just can't control yourself, what you're supposed to do. You're afraid of asking for help out of fear of judgement or punishment. Drugs are mostly decriminalized in Canada and still, if someone just took access away from my poison of choice and sent me on my way with no further help--- I would have just walked into traffic.

The worst of my issues happened due to some absolutely insane levels of medical irresponsibility that I won't fully get into because they're too long to explain. But I will tell you that, already aware I had substance abuse issues, I *explicitly warned* the doctor who prescribed me the medication that I didn't feel I could be responsible to be put on anything addictive. She assured me it was not. Spoiler altert: it was addictive. A lot of addicts descent into rock bottom beginning with something they were prescribed.

Drug companies will put in these "anti-abuse" measures into otherwise addictive substances that it takes half a brain cell to circumvent. Just take my word for it.

I overdosed at least once, maybe twice on the drug I was originally prescribed. Alone. By some insane luck I survived both times without getting further medical treatment. But as I built up a tolerance what I was originally prescribed wasn't the *only thing* I ended up abusing in that period of my life. I was going to die if I didn't do something soon, and I knew it.

I was lucky. My sister drove two cities over after a night shift to my rescue and quite literally set me on the road to saving my life. My doctor was compassionate enough to allow me to get off of what I was originally addicted to at my own pace, and correctly identified I needed a medication overhaul to do so. My older brother made sure I wasn't dying of dehydration or starvation during my detox period and made sure to do the daily tasks I didn't have the mental capacity to do at that time aswell. Without them I wouldn't be here today.

NOT EVERY DRUG USER IS AS FORTUNATE AS ME, HOWEVER. And even then, recovery is not a straight line, or as simple as having certain substances kept away. It's a demon you'll be fighting the rest of your life, in many instances. Mine included. Part of getting off the harmful substances I was was getting a prescription to Adderall, as I was partially self-medicating for. Something my doctor still monitors me with to ensure I'm not falling back into bad habits with. Something Lily is CURRENTLY bitching about not being able to get a prescription for-- I wonder why, Lily.

I have now gone through THREE surgeries without painkillers. And in one particularly awful incident, was treated rather cruelly by the medical staff over refusing to take them. To quote, of all things, fucking Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, "if you live with pain long enough, you learn to enjoy the taste." But nothing is like the nightmare of chemical dependence. Pain is immaterial to that kind of hell.

I know Lily is saying this bullshit just to vaguepost about Courtney, but I don't care. Fuck her. Fuck her for daring to judge me, and those like me. That she was that comfortable being this vile about the matter publically should give you a good indication as to how comfortable even other people are to talking down to addicts.

She wouldn't have survived the shit I went through. I dare her to try. She's way too much of a little piss baby to crawl her way out of that kind of suffering.

I know this is a meme page, but I refuse to be ashamed of talking about it. If anyone would like some more information about my experience or has questions as to why Lily's opinion on the matter is dogshit and vile, feel free to dm me or send me an ask. I'll make it clear why Lily is fucking scum for having the balls to say this publically. I'll make her regret it.

[onaperduamedee]

Was fooling around with the concept of a WoT modern AU and ended up with a kind of breakdown of characters for adaptation purpose that was quite interesting:

Egwene: ambitious overachiever who got burnt out as a teen, never realized and has never stopped since. Sensible and resilient, but stressed to a degree. Hides it well, especially to herself. Doesn't know when to stop and not overextend herself. Strong sense of justice. She will protect the people under her care no matter what

Nynaeve: her temper is her greatest foe. Struggles to consider a POV other than hers but because she loves you she will put aside the fact that you are wrong. Stubborn and impulsive with zero self-awareness. Will never give up on you and there is nothing that will prevent her from caring. Is the one you want on a roadtrip if you don't mind the occasional commotion she accidentally started

Mat: bit of an edgelord and plays up the edgelord bit. Doesn't have a single goal in life except making money and enjoying himself. Has war tactics as special interest. Will joke and complain, but always help, even strangers, even at great cost for him. Is a magnet for people needing help

Perrin: quiet but a lot is happening inside his mind. Asks himself too many questions and tends to get stuck in his doubts. Solid, devoted and loving, even if he struggles to see himself as such. Sees himself as simple but is remarkably deep. Can be a Mr Grump

Rand: reactive, as a consequence self-isolating. Takes everything personally although he tries to project detachment. Fools no one but his emotions tend to be contagious so he badly needs people with him. Wants to do what is best and puts too much pressure on himself

Moiraine: trust issues. Will not ask for help until she is dying in a ditch. Passive aggressive but genuinely believes in you. Looks detached and in control, but has a short temper and is wracked with doubts. Is tired, doesn't know how to give up. Will be there when you need it most

Siuan: very smart. Is used to be in control and worked very hard to be in control. Down-to-earth and does not tolerate fools. Doesn't old a grudge although she will curse you. The one you want to be in a desperate situation with because she will just not throw in the towel and has a mind for problem-solving

Lan: reliable and caring on the outside, absolute mess on the inside. Will not ask for help, even when the problems become yours. Terrible coping mechanism. Ideal travel companion, especially when the travel is pretty shitty because he will get you through the soldiering on

Thom: weird absent uncle. Dates questionably younger women and disappears sometimes but will look after you when he's there. The one to call for help in a weird questionable situation if you don't want to be judged. If you don't care about being judged call Moiraine and Lan

Elayne: grew up in a very different world and as such can be oblivious to what the reality of the world is. Incapable of gauging danger correctly and as a consequence is absolutely fearless. Can be condescending, but caring and wants to do what is good for the people around her

Aviendha: chill lesbian sports girl. Earnest and devoted. Of few words. Gets bossed around far more than one would expect and doesn't really fight back which is why she makes quick friends with people who kick up a storm

Min: girl who seemed to be very free-thinking and independent on first meeting, but ends up in a conforming mold and you're not quite sure if this is really a choice or she just hung up with people who put her back in what they deemed her place. Very resourceful and friendly

Cadsuane: dopest grandma. Has had the most outrageous life. Mean old bat, but has the living experience that makes the meanness worthwhile. Picks up gadgets and latest technologies line no other although she complains about it

Verin: chill old nerd who enjoys the good simple stuff in life. Seems like a dotty aunt but is actually quite perceptive and sharp when needed. Dont act clever with her: if you think she can be taken for a fool you will lose

Elaida: is supposedly well-intentioned but is so thoroughly trapped in her point of view that she cannot see how wrong she is and how dire the situation is. Always extra and anxious, which is no explosive cocktail

[starwell-tarot]

What are stans of different Ateez members like? A tarot reading ✨

Hello peeps and atinys; I had this idea cross my mind one day, hmm I wonder what fans of a specific idol would be like. Would they take after the idol or be completely different?

I thought it would be a very interesting social experiment to do so I chose Ateez!

I asked three questions per member:

1. What are stans of (member) like in general?

2. What do stans of (member) have in common with each other?

3. What about (member)'s personally attracts his stans to stan him?

From what I've seen, i think they have a chance to at least a little bit accurate 😂 You guys will be the judges! Let me know who you stan and if it is accurate for you or not! It is an experiment after all, let's discuss and get to know each other better! 🖤

Disclaimer: This is for fun purposes only and should be treated as such. Tarot can absolutely be wrong.

TW: mentions of anxiety and insecurities

Hongjoong stans: The rebels

How are Hongjoong stans like (in general) // the high priestess, the emperor R, VI of wands

Hongjoong stans are people who want to carry themselves in the world with pride. They want to showcase/ achieve confidence in who they are and also inspire others to do the same. Their power comes from within, from their self knowledge, from the fact that they know that things in the world cannot stop them from being themselves and living their own truth. They want to be the complete leaders of their own lives and not be afraid to speak up or stand out in a crowd.

What do Hongjoong stans have in common? // II of wands R

Hongjoong stans want to carve out their own path in life. They don't want to follow the norms or give in to what others want out of them when it comes to their life path.

What about Hongjoong's personality attracts Hongjoong stans? // Wheel of fortune, page of wands

Hongjoong stans love how he appears to be so fearless, so unafraid of failure, setbacks, opposition or hardship. One could say Hongjoong 'makes his own luck' with the way he shapes his reality to make the best out of it no matter what happens. All cycles in life can be reformed, rules can be rewritten, perspectives can be changed. Hongjoong strives to reform all those cycles and make this world a better place, and Hongjoong stans are highly thankful of that and want to follow in his lead and do the same.

Hongjoong stans might have prominent fire placements (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) in their natal chart.

Seonghwa stans: Energetic angels

Also known as the ones who gave me way too many cards

How are Seonghwa stans like (in general) // The Star R

Seonghwa stans are gentle and pure beings. They are optimistic despite the circumstances in society or the hurt they've felt before, and believe in a better world yet to come. Their hopeful persona makes them shine out between their peers as having an almost healing-aura. They can be quite quirky and definitely love helping out people.

What do Seonghwa stans have in common? // VIII of Wands, Knight of Wands

Seonghwa stans are very determined and passionate people. They tend to get really fired up and excited over their likings and tasks, and put a lot of drive into whatever they do. Sometimes they can become quite hyperfocused, even. They might also have a tendency to make impulsive decisions and make it their mission to learn self control throughout their lives.

What about Seonghwa's personality attracts Seonghwa stans? // Death R, King of Pentacles R, III of Swords R

Seonghwa reminds his stans that every single new day is a new beginning. And that new day, can always be turned around to something positive, wether it is a productive day or a day of healing. I get the message that Seonghwa heals people's inner child, actually. His balance of being a responsible, productive adult and a pure hearted boy who loves his Lego and friends, it makes people feel reassured. You can be both, you don't need to kill off parts of yourself to be proper or successful. The inner child is scared they will always be stressed and tired - but Seonghwa reassures them it doesn't have to be that way, he takes them gently by the hand and allows them to play around and get excited again.

I'm not crying you're crying, wHat

Seonghwa stans might have very balanced natal charts in terms of the distribution of the 4 elements, but there is definitely clear mention of Aquarius, Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius and Leo.

Yunho stans: The ones with tense shoulders

How are Yunho stans like (in general) // The high priestess R

Yunho stans may have a very developed intuition, and they're observant and wise. Their intelligence guides them well in life, and they might also be very introspective, knowing themselves well and being in touch or aware of their thoughts/feelings. That  makes them very grounded and self sufficient, their power comes from within and the connection they have with themselves. They might also have an interest towards mysteries, the occult or spirituality, perhaps they're psychics or witches.

What do Yunho stans have in common? // Knight of pentacles R

Yunho stans are diligent, cautious and responsible. They're the types to really think things through before saying/doing anything, weighting their options carefully so that they don't end up in risky or detrimental situations. However, sometimes when weighting options they discover none of them are actually satisfactory for them, so they often look for loopholes, therefore making them a bit rebellious too even if it looks like they always play by the rules. Also might be prone to procrastination, missing the initial push of going through with something because their minds are racing to find the perfect way to do something.

What about Yunho's personality attracts Yunho stans? // X of pentacles & king of pentacles

They admire Yunho's ability to look spontane and carefree. Perhaps he isn't fully like that on the inside, but on the outside Yunho looks to be such a loving, optimistic person who can be content with life. He gives off the vibe that everything and anything can be handled when the time arises and that there's always a way for things to be okay. That is very comforting to Yunho stans, who might struggle with going with the flow or letting things be out of their control.

Yunho stans might have prominent earth placements in their natal charts (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn).

I'm a Yunho stan and this is hella accurate for me

Yeosang stans: the truth seekers

What are Yeosang stans like (in general) // The Tower R

Yeosang stans are honest and straightforward with their expression. If they don't like something, they express it. Likely to be opinionated (in a good way) and go getters. They are driven and motivated, and even if they might not realize it, very tough and resilient. Even if they are afraid of facing failure, they still persue their goals and desires with genuinity.

What do Yeosang stans have in common? // Ace of Swords R

Yeosang stans might feel confused or anxious very often. They have many ideas, and like I mentioned previously they have a fear of failure and it's making them insecure about the best way to approach things. Both skeptical and curious, Yeosang stans question everything all the time - their own morals, beliefs, society's as well. Finding the answers to all these questions tends to overwhelm them and make them overthink, or stop them from even making a decision at all.

What about Yeosang's personality attracts Yeosang stans? //  IX of Cups

They love how he isn't afraid to voice out his dissatisfaction. Yeosang is known to be quite the truth spitting Queen, and Yeosang stans absolutely adore that. They love his humour and the way he knows his own worth. They probably find him very like-minded to themselves.

Yeosang stans might have prominent Scorpio, Gemini, Aquarius, Libra and Pisces in their natal chart.

San stans: the emotion swimmers

What are San stans like (in general) // IX of Cups R, X of Pentacles

San stans are very emotional beings by nature. They don't care much about material things and probably all the things they do is for the better of their family. (That could also be friends or lovers of course, people close enough to consider your family.) They probably also prefer the indoors and conferable spaces and people. They tend to have a pretty thick protective bubble around themselves and might not open up easily to people. Afraid to get hurt, they want to protect their emotional welfare at all costs.

What do San stans have in common? // The hanged Man

San stans are probably very anxious about the way they are seen by others, and/or have a bad vision of themselves. They've often felt out of place or different in their lives and that has made them very self judgemental or self-condescending.

What about San's personality attracts San stans? // Ace of Cups R

They love how San is an endless overflowing fountain of love. Wether he's offering love outward to his family, friends or fans, or he's offering love to himself through self-love, San is always so loving. He's so comfortable with the feeling and so unafraid of it, it baffles San stans. Love is San's biggest strength, and San stans often need some of that strength. There's a mutual exchange of love and strength and hearts beat a bit happier.

Wow I'm corny

San stans might have predominant water placements (Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces) in their natal charts.

Mingi stans: the badasses

What are Mingi stans like (in general) // Queen of Swords

Mingi stans are quite tough and resilient people. They are fighters, not afraid to get their hands dirty. Independent and self-reliant, they constantly search for more wisdom to help them out in life, too. In some cases, they can even be grumpy cats, but for the most part I would call them realists.

What do Mingi stans have in common? // Knight of Cups

Mingi stans chase after real feelings and real connections. Their feelings and thoughts run very deep and they can't stand being shallow about anything. Due to their intelligence and devotion, their dreams are never too far away. They follow their heart with grace and know how to make decisions that will lead them to live a fulfilling life. They're romantic and charming.

oMg sexy beasts hello

What about Mingi's personality attracts Mingi stans? // The Hanged Man R, IX of Pentacles R, Queen of Pentacles R

Mingi stans appreciate how different Mingi is. He's unique in their eyes, and they love listening to the views he has about the world. It feels eye opening to them. Mingi also just .. melts their hearts. Perhaps Mingi stans usually strive to be in control, tough and pokerface, but they can't do that when it comes to Mingi. Their hearts go badum and they get heart eyes. He warms them up on any cold day.  They want to protect him at all costs and shower him with affection. 

Mingi stans might have a pretty balanced natal chart of air, water and earth.

Wooyoung stans: the loving wild cats

How are Wooyoung stans like (in general) // Judgement

Wooyoung stans are open minded philosophers and fearless explorers. They view life kinda like a journey, of ups and downs which can teach you many important lessons. They could probably write a novel of all the important life lessons they've lived that they keep close to their mind. And they're always open for more, more experiences, more knowledge and adventure. They are also likely to be oriented towards social justice, and be very keen on enforcing good morals and getting rid of closed-mindedness in the world.

What do Wooyoung stans have in common? // King of cups

Wether they are introverted or extroverted, Wooyoung stans actually love spending time with people. If they're not popular and with a lively group of friends, they surely have those few people they love to the moon and back and wouldn't mind spending all day with. Wooyoung stans know how to gracefully receive the gifts of love given to them by their community or close circle, and they're friendly and empathic too, in return. But sometimes, they might wear their heart on their sleeve without realizing.

What about Wooyoung's personality attracts Wooyoung stans? // Strength R

They love his wild and untamed nature. They love how he isn't afraid to show off his true colors all the time. The raw honesty of his personality, wether it's something socially accepted or something seen as weird, is very attractive to Wooyoung stans. They admire it and probably aspire to have such courage of expression, too.

Wooyoung stans might have prominent Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer or Leo in their natal chart.

Jongho stans: The champions

How are Jongho stans like (in general) // Knight of Sowrds R

Jongho stans are absolute warriors. They are headstrong and courageous, their intelligence aiding them greatly in powering through any obstacle and overcoming any challenge. They are oriented towards fighting for justice and love spreading words of encouragement to their peers.

What do Jongho stans have in common? // IX of Pentacles R, Queen of Wands

Jongho stans are honest and genuine. Despite their strong will and courage, they are not reckless or chaotic, they are actually quite calm and down to earth. But they do know when you fire up, and stand their ground. Their confidence and fierceness makes them very charismatic in the eyes of many.

What about Jongho's personality attracts Jongho stans? // II of Pentacles R

They appreciate how Jongho picks his own fights. He puts upmost priority of what and whom is important to him, and zones in on that. He's always concerned with being the best at what he does, (aka in his preferred domain) he doesn't try to be the best at things that don't concern him. He sets his priorities tight. Plus, Jongho stans find him very motivating and empowering. He puts fuel on their fire, puts gas in their tank. To them, he's living proof that nothing is impossible if you have the drive to do it.

Jongho stans have predominant air and fire placements in their natal charts.

I thought this to be so interesting. For most, it turned out the stans were really similar to the idol, but then Mingi and Yunho... LMAO. It's cool there's some ying yang energy in there too!

Thank you for reading and let's discuss!

[theautisticdoctor]

Have you ever been screened for adhd? I see that there is a lot of overlap in adhd and autism diagnosis. How was it for you?

Autism and ADHD do have a lot of similarities, as well as ADHD and (c)PTSD. I am officially diagnosed with autism and cPTSD, but I do also score very high on the ADHD spectrum. I got asked once if I wanted to get officially tested, but I refused because at that time my brain just couldn’t handle another label. I absolutely despise labels and getting them put on me gives me massive stress, because I feel so inadequate and as a failure (I’m still working on that). My autism also got kind of buried under all the other labels that got put on me, and I felt like it was going to happen with this again. I don’t do well in adjusting or acknowledging new things and it takes ages for me to accept these labels.

Just like autism, ADHD is also a neurodevelopment disorder, which means it would have been there in my childhood, so for me it is most useful to look how I was as a child. As a child I was not hyperactive at all, only disorganised with a lot of executive dysfunction, impulsivity when high stress levels occurred and easily distracted with bursts of hyperfocus and -fixation. My brother however has always been hyperactive, impulsive, and easily distracted (although he’s also diagnosed with cPTSD). He for example as a 2 year old managed to jump out of the high chair more often than actually sit in it or rock and bounce it back and forth so hard that he would flip over with chair and all. So he is definitely an ADHD’er. Me you could have put in a corner of the room and completely forget I even existed, which therefore also happened, because I wouldn’t make a sound, wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t crawl away from my designated space. You could give me a toy and I would be satisfied with it all day, figuring out all ins and outs, when I was done playing I would start taking it apart and would put it back together, over and over again. Where my brother would throw his toys through the frontwindow of the car (literally) because he was just bored with them and needed more stimuli. My cPTSD diagnosis makes it very complicated to distinguish what symptoms are from traumatic stress and what has been there since before the structural stress (because the structural stress also started in very early childhood) from ADHD or autism.

For me I think it is more helpful to look at it from a holistic perspective instead of adding more quite meaningless labels for a group of symptoms that one might have, I just have a neurodevelopment disorder with a spectrum of symptoms. I have made an inventory of those symptoms and the scope of these symptoms is already a huge disability for which I need to make adjustments to my life. Labels should be used as a tool to help people and their support system understand, figure out and learning to cope with their symptoms. The label is solely there to serve a purpose, but it doesn’t give you any clue about the extent, severity or suffering of the person. In my practice I always tell my patients that I’m treating a person, not just the lab results or diagnoses, and I expect others to do the same with me. I hate it when people only look at results or labels and create their entire treatment plan based on that, you should look at the human that’s sitting in front of you.

The autism spectrum has a major overlap with the ADHD spectrum. This overlap includes things like sensory issues, stimming, emotional regulation difficulties, impulse control difficulties, executive dysfunction, interest-based nervous system, interconnected thought processes and patterns, hyperfixations and -focus or special interests, social differences and difficulties, communicative difficulties, rejection-sensitivity dysphoria, and making eye contact difficulties. In both disorders the amount of stress or overwhelm is what can make the symptoms worse. Some specific symptoms to ADHD are the cravings to new things and experiences, attention and focus regulating difficulties, which could make it harder to read social cues, inhibition difficulties, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. Whereas some of the specific symptoms to autism are the cravings to routine, order and familiarity, with craving for strict adherence, intuitive disability to read social cues, self soothing through repetitive behaviour, thoughts and routines. When my stress levels rise I tend to move towards the ADHD spectrum, but it keeps contributing to my rising stress levels, so I am thinking it is more masking / coping than actually ADHD. I think, I therefore really fit the autism spectrum better than the ADHD spectrum. But I don’t know, maybe I’ll be ready one day to get myself actually tested, because it also wouldn’t really surprise me if I was.

[vasilissadragomir]

GIRL! What you mean you also writing about katniss's period in your fanfic too. Please tell me more about it, I'd love to know!

LMAO okay sooooo without spoiling too much i just think that it’s very important for katniss to experience her body operating as normal for literally the first time in her life. even before the games/the incomprehensibly stressful circumstances of catching fire/the war she was malnourished. perhaps not as badly as most others in the seam, or even in the town bc it seems meat was hard to come by even for peacekeepers and merchants, but she absolutely was underfed and lacking essential nutrients. so even if she was getting a period, like you said, it most certainly wasn’t quite normal or regular.

but periods aren’t just about actual bleeding or physical symptoms, ofc. her body likely never experienced the full breadth of hormonal fluctuation people go through during a healthy menstrual cycle. we know katniss is often moody and irritable because a) she’s a teenager b) she’s starving and c) she’s stressed out of her mind in constant survival mode, but she’s almost always in control. what happens when her hormones, allowed to function for the first time as they’re meant to, take control of her body like they do for most teenagers w periods? especially with all the emotional upheaval of the war and losing prim, i bet experiencing pms for the first time sends her into a tailspin. she’s probably crying a lot, eating a lot, and feels like everything is coming apart around her at the littlest things. which, compounded with the ptsd and grief, and the first time lack of need to be in survival mode, is overwhelming and causes her to act impulsively.

not to mention, of course, why we get periods in the first place. how does peeta’a presence interact with her body’s discovery of its normal function, especially this function? we know they grow back together. we know she feels that thing again. we know so after. but what happens between those things? it’s implied that katniss and peeta are at least kissing before so after. what is it that motivates katniss to kiss him back, beyond, of course, love? katniss likes kissing. she says when she’s kissing gale that it reminds her that her body’s alive. what is it like for her to kiss the person she actually loves when her body is healthy enough to urge her on?

now, of course katniss knows about periods, their symptoms, and sex/pregnancy. a pet peeve i have in fics is when people act like katniss doesn’t know about this stuff because she’s “pure” or, frankly, because readers see district 12 as backwards and uneducated or something. but katniss’ mom is an apothecary. katniss absolutely knows the clinical ins and outs of puberty. but at the same time, i bet she never really expected all that stuff to happen to *her* the way it does to other people. she’s always been in control while in district 12 up until the end of the war. why would something like a hormonal shake-up change that? i don’t think she’ll recognize what’s happening to her (im shocked by it every month, and ive had a semi-regular period for more of my life than not and i knew what to expect from like age 5). when she does realize it, she’ll likely be in denial about it.

i also think this is a great opportunity for katniss and her mom to bond and begin to repair their relationship. because for the first time, katniss actually will, palpably, *need* her mom and her expertise in a way she hasn’t in over five years.

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I am so upset about Buwei's death but very curious about what is coming next. Since this is a c-drama and they can't have an immoral Emperor on the throne as an endgame, I suppose that the Yong family is going down one way or another. Let's hope they take the Qi household with them, especially Princess Pingning.

Team Prince Yan!

***

Yawn.

My lack of sympathy for this woman and her whole family cannot be overstated.

***

Did any of you care whether other people lived or died?

Fuck you both.

And the best part is that his stupid ass thought that if he was to whine in front of the Emperor about Minglan, this useless man would grant him the marriage 🤣🤣

***

He has already forgotten that she beat Buwei to death because of him, smh, and they are back to business as usual.

Human lives literally mean nothing to either of them. I wouldn't be able to forgive her if she murdered a pet hamster to hurt me, let alone a whole human being 😡😡

***

Hopefully, he will be lucky enough not to meet you in his next life.

***

Oh, boo-hoo.

How terrible for your mother and you that your delusions of grandeur are just that. Delusions. Classism is hell of a drug.

I hope you get squashed.

***

Do it!! Please! Make my day!!

***

LMAO, WHAT HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

You have literally had people raped and kidnapped, and very likely murdered. And here you are, threatening to murder more. The cognitive dissonance, I cannot 🤣🤣

***

Oh, yes, your daughter is going to be so happy in this marriage 🙄

Sooooooo happy!! Everything a loving parent would want for their child 🙄🙄

They are all literally insane. Unlimited power and wealth have rotted their brains.

***

That this needs to be spelled out for him is just 🤯🤯

And, like, we don't even go as far as Consort Yong. His own shitty mother could and would do this if he was to somehow elope with Minglan. This is also why there is absolutely no chance the Sheng family would allow this marriage to happen without the Duke and Duchess of Qi fully onboard and Minglan would never do anything that would jeopardise her entire family, such as run off with him without their permission.

***

MTE, Qi Heng, I fully agree with you on this.

Why anyone would bother to even cross the street for your worthless ass, let alone bloody their hands to get you, is very much beyond me.

***

LMAO, YOU ARE A USELESS MOTHER!

He is not a "thing", he is a whole human and you are talking about marriage here, an entwining of lives. How happy is she going to be, married to a man who resents her? Who married her only because you threatened to kill his parents and the woman he loves? Are you serious? OK, I can buy that an endlessly indulged princess will have the brain power and impulse control of a toddler and may not be able to see the full consequences of this, but what is your excuse? Moreover, what is your husband's excuse? All of you have worms for brains.

***

I'VE BEEN SAYING!!

Why must you make me agree with Qi Heng, smh?

Anyway, I can't wait to watch Zhu Yilong in something else. No love for this particular character but he's really fantastic, very subtle and very expressive.

***

Oh, thank god.

Hopefully, now Minglan can let him go and go back to being her usual intelligent self. This doomed side ship has been getting on my last nerve.

***

What the absolute fuck are you talking about, Gu Tingye? I thought you were supposed to be smart and looking out for Minglan!

Yes, please kidnap a fucking Imperial princess and see how well that works out both for the House of Qi and Sheng!

Why is everyone stupid all of a sudden?

***

How is Yuanruo the one speaking common sense all of a sudden?

Gu Tingye, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃EXO's chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse❃

A/N: because why have your first post be romantic or suggestive when it can be unserious and downright weird.

Xiumin/Minseok: 9/10

✾ Let’s be honest, this man is way too good at sports not to survive far into a zombie apocalypse. Pretty sure those skills will translate and be useful in some way. He can outrun them so easily that he never truly finds himself in any danger.

✾ Xiumin actually possesses functional brain cells and a good dose of common sense which means he makes good, well thought out, decisions. Unlike the beagle line, he won’t get himself stupidly killed.

✾ Despite all the chaos, he is incredibly organized, keeping precise track of what he has and needs.

✾ He can properly take care of himself and could run this thing solo. He is not dependent on others to do things for him and he strikes me as someone who is perfectly content to be on his own. The only reason he would team up with the others is for the company and because he finds their idiocy amusing.

✾ He has the added bonus that the zombies think he is adorable, like a pet, so they will keep him alive even when he does get caught.

Suho/Junmyeon: 5/10

✾ Remember that time when Suho fell asleep during carting? Yeah, he is beyond exhausted before the apocalypse even starts and will probably die by accidentally falling asleep. Suho will try to ‘rest his eyes’ and before he knows it a zombie is gnawing on his arm.

✾ Honestly trying his hardest to keep the rest of the members from dying, but instead of appreciating his efforts, they keep making fun of him for it. They are really testing his patience but he feels too responsible for their safety to leave them to fend for themselves.

✾ Not that anything he says matters, they never truly listen to him so instead he has to be the one to get them out of the dangerous situations they get themselves in.

✾ If he doesn’t get eaten due to his permanent exhaustion, he would be the type to accept his fate. The members will drive him insane to the point where he will simply give up and walk into a hoard of zombies with open arms.

✾ If you pair him up with his babies Kai and Sehun his survival rate somehow increases. Nobody touches his babies.

Baekhyun: ?/10

✾ Okay, so he either survives until the end or does something stupid and gets himself killed.  His survival rate is either 10/10 or 0/10, there is no in-between.

✾ Like Baekhyun is an ace in most games so he has the ability to outsmart the apocalypse if he puts in the effort. He is competitive enough to take it seriously, too.

✾ His survival truly depends on whether he gives in to his intrusive thoughts and let’s be fair, he has many and zero impulse control.

✾ He would, for instance, believe that he can successfully pretend to be a zombie to blend in with them. He has a lot of dumb ideas and will either act on it himself or get someone else to try it out.

✾ Obviously, his plans wouldn’t work and he, or his chosen guinea pig, would get eaten. Then again, it is Baekhyun and somehow he always manages to come out on top, so who knows, he might survive.

Chen/Jongdae: 6.5/10

✾ Okay, this man is a father so he gets to enjoy the father buff. If his family is with him, he is near unstoppable. Chen can be competitive and has a lot of energy, so technically his chances aren’t too bad.

✾ His main issue is that, well, every zombie and their mother can hear him from the other side of the planet. He is absolutely oblivious as to why the zombies keep finding him.

✾ Like Chen, please use your inner voice, zombies are not deaf and you are giving them your location whenever you talk.

✾ Will ‘accidentally’ push Chanyeol into a zombie when he jokes about being the C in CBX and finally find peace. At this point, he kind of deserves it.

Chanyeol: -10/10

✾ Hear me out, this man is a mess.

✾ Technically, he could survive but he is another one that for sure will listen to his intrusive thoughts. Like let’s be fair, Chanyeol has mastered an array of weird skills just because he can’t stand being bad at something; he will be just as determined to figure out how to survive during an apocalypse.

✾ The type to “I saw this in a film” and try it. He will quickly discover that most of it won’t work because those are movies and not real life. Still, he will have the biggest motivation to figure things out, even if most of his sources are fiction.

✾ The problem is that he is way too much into this whole apocalypse scenario. He will try to out-apocalypse the others or will make up some sort of stupid competition to kill time because sitting still for five minutes is for losers.

✾ He comes up with the “Who can get closest to the zombie without getting killed” game. Baekhyun might have helped.

✾ To be honest, it doesn’t quite matter how good his cards are in the context of a zombie apocalypse, he will probably die within a day because he has two left feet and a very intimate relationship with the floor.

D.O./Kyungsoo: 7/10

✾ Pair him up with another member, and suddenly their chances increase.

✾ His cooking skills make him so incredibly valuable. He will make sure no one starves, and can make a decent meal out of pretty much anything you give him.

✾ The others try their hardest to keep him alive because being in an apocalypse does not mean one has to eat grass.

✾ Then again, he would not hesitate to sacrifice the others to the zombies if they annoy him.

✾ The only one able to keep the beagle line from doing stupid shit with his threats.

✾ You can’t really count on him outrunning the zombies, though. We have all seen this man attempt to play soccer, he is not made for physical activity. He will not survive with his physical skills and will absolutely accept his fate rather than try.

Kai/Jongin: -100000000/10

✾ Listen, this man will die within the first five seconds of the apocalypse.

✾ It is not a question of whether he dies, more so than how. There are so many ways that he can get himself killed, even without the apocalypse playing a major factor.

✾ He could give himself food poisoning when he tries to cook or trip over his own feet when he tries to run away from the zombies. He does not really have a great sense of self-preservation.

✾ 10000% the type to think that they could befriend the zombies because “zombies are people too.” Luckily for him, the zombies do think he is adorable and won’t immediately eat him when he gets too close.

✾ But yeah, if it isn’t for the others constantly monitoring him, he is dead.

Sehun: 1000/10

✾ Last to die because his members will do everything they can to keep him alive. Maknae privileges and whatnot.

✾ He is very much dependent on his members to do basically anything, but the thing is, they would do it without question.

✾ He will complain the entire time and whine constantly.

✾ If Suho dies, you might as well kill him too. How is he supposed to sleep without his emotional-support-hyung??? So yeah, the only way to really decrease his survival rate is to eliminate his members.

✾ Honestly, we all are simply living in his world, what Sehun wants, Sehun gets. It might even extend to the zombies. He would just ask them to stop trying to eat him and they would oblige because, well, Sehun asked.

✾ He is 1000% responsible for the cure being found. It has nothing to do with Sehun finding it himself. Instead, when/if he gets bitten, the members will stop at nothing to find a way to rid him of the disease. Sleep? Who needs sleep when Oh Sehun is dying!?

masterlist

[faejilly]

Alright so ask box meme time! Garrus or Grunt?

[make me choose] oh look, you got me to write more Weaver! I've been wanting to do that, thank you. 💙💙💙 (In this case, you got first impressions of a cop from an Earthborn Shepard... 😅)

Vakarian makes Shepard feel old.

He’s probably about her age, though she’s not as good at reading turians as humans, for obvious reasons. (It’d taken her for fucking ever to figure out how to deal with humans, honestly. Which… is not a thought to help her feel less ancient.)

It also doesn’t help that he is systematically doing the absolute worst thing to make a good impression with her every time they’re in the same room.

She thinks she’s managing to hide that opinion.

Except maybe from Executor Pallin. Something in his eyes looks exactly as exhausted as she feels. (It's disconcerting to realize she identifies more with the politician-policeman than the reckless idealist, considering she's usually regarded as more of a reckless idealist herself.)

For all Pallin is the head of C-Sec, he's remarkably straightforward and pragmatic. Enough so that he doesn't ping against her instincts as cop, but Vakarian does.

And she’s (embarrassingly) still enough of a street kid to hate that.

A hypocritical street-kid, considering she’s basically Space-SWAT whenever Alliance Command sends her on a pirate-sweep.

Apparently the space part makes a difference to her lizard brain.

Vakarian’s also in space though?

No, her lizard brain doesn’t buy that.

Her lizard brain’s a fucking moron.

Do turians have lizard brains? She’s afraid that Vakarian doesn’t even have lizard sense. (She can suddenly hear Litty laughing in her head, ‘but common sense isn’t, you should know that by now,’ echoing out of a past Vakarian keeps reminding her of, a past that she thought she'd put to rest, a past she knows she'll never completely let go.)

Not helpful.

Every time he opens his mouth, she has to consciously resist the urge to sigh and knuckle her forehead or pinch the bridge of her nose. The physical pressure will not actually relieve the mental pressure, no matter how much it feels like it should.

But seriously, who introduces themself only to immediately complain about failing at their confidential assignment while very much in public?

Who follows that nonsense up by going right for an entirely unnecessary headshot in a hostage situation?

That had almost made her want to headshot him.

But she hadn’t. Because she has impulse control.

Doesn’t she?

Certainly more than Vakarian.

That’s not saying much.

She doesn’t have a problem dealing with the arrogance of people who are actually as good at their job as they think they are, but he seems to have no idea that he’s entirely failed to convince her that he might be one of them.

Despite all that, recruiting him is the right decision.

It is, she knows it is.

They need to make it clear this isn’t just a human vendetta. He’s Turian and Citadel and Police and makes this whole impossible situation reputable.

Closer to reputable?

But probably only to people who haven’t met him. He’s loud and brash and pulled out a sniper rifle in a med-clinic on the Wards.

He made the shot.

He took the shot because he saw it and he felt it and he wanted to protect Dr. Michel a hell of a lot more than he cared about himself.

He rushes into things because he cares.

Damn it.

That’s familiar.

He still makes her feel old.

[ashabsynthe]

Exploring the Importance of Intuition and Strengthening Your Inner Voice

Intuition, often referred to as our inner guidance or gut feeling, is a powerful tool that connects us to our higher wisdom and helps us navigate life's complexities. It is the voice within that whispers insights, nudges us in the right direction, and serves as a compass for our soul's journey. In this blog post, we will delve into the importance of intuition and explore techniques to strengthen and cultivate this innate gift, allowing it to become a guiding force in our lives.

Understanding Intuition: Intuition is a form of inner knowing that goes beyond logical reasoning. It is a deep-seated wisdom that arises from our subconscious and higher consciousness. Intuition operates beyond the limitations of the conscious mind, tapping into the vast well of universal knowledge and subtle energies. It often manifests as feelings, hunches, visions, or sudden insights that provide valuable guidance and wisdom.

Importance of Intuition: Intuition serves as a trusted ally in our decision-making process and life choices. It can offer insights that our rational mind may overlook, providing a broader perspective and a deeper understanding of situations. By honing our intuition, we gain access to valuable information, heightened creativity, and a sense of alignment with our true path. Intuition acts as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious realms, helping us navigate challenges, seize opportunities, and live authentically.

Cultivating Intuition: a. Quiet the Mind: Create regular periods of stillness and silence in your life. Through practices like meditation, mindfulness, or spending time in nature, you allow the mind chatter to settle, creating space for your intuition to speak.

b. Trust Your Instincts: Practice listening to your gut feelings and initial impressions in everyday situations. Start with small decisions and pay attention to the sensations and emotions that arise within you. Trust your instincts and act upon them. Over time, this strengthens the connection to your intuition.

c. Journaling and Reflection: Maintain a journal to record your intuitive experiences, dreams, and insights. Reflect on them regularly to identify patterns and themes. This practice enhances your self-awareness and deepens your understanding of how intuition communicates with you.

d. Body Awareness: Tune into the wisdom of your body. Notice how different situations and people make you feel physically and emotionally. Your body can act as a powerful sensor, providing subtle cues and signals that align with your intuition.

e. Engage in Creative Expression: Activities such as art, music, dance, or writing can open channels for intuitive insights to flow. Engaging in creative endeavors allows you to tap into your subconscious mind, bypassing analytical thinking and connecting directly with intuitive guidance.

Trust and Surrender: Trusting your intuition requires letting go of the need for absolute certainty and control. It involves surrendering to the wisdom of the unknown and having faith in the messages you receive. Practice letting go of doubt and fear, and embrace the guidance that comes from within. As you surrender to the intuitive flow, you align yourself with the greater universal intelligence.

Seek Solitude and Solace: Create regular moments of solitude and silence to deepen your connection with your inner voice. This can be done through practices like solitude walks, retreats, or simply setting aside quiet time for reflection. In the absence of external distractions, you create a sacred space for your intuition to emerge and communicate clearly.

Practice Discernment: While intuition is a valuable tool, it is essential to discern its messages from wishful thinking, fear, or ego-driven impulses. Develop discernment by cross-referencing your intuitive insights with logical reasoning, seeking feedback from trusted sources, and reflecting on past experiences where your intuition has proven accurate.

Intuition is a precious gift that resides within each of us, waiting to be acknowledged and honed. By recognizing the importance of intuition and actively engaging in practices to strengthen it, we can access profound wisdom, make aligned choices, and live a more authentic and fulfilling life. Trust in your intuition, embrace its whispers, and let your inner voice illuminate your path as you journey through the magic of life.

[partypoisonzz]

(yeah, right) he fucking loves me (trey parker x reader nsfw alphabet)

Era: 90s

Content:

- Sub!Trey

- Recreational drug use

- Nobody asked for this as my return lol sorry please still like me anyway

Disclaimer: This explicit story was written by an adult for consumption by other adults only. If you are under 18, please do not read or interact in any way.

Hope you enjoy.

- Pen

-

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He gets cuddly, but in a borderline stupid way. He's clingy as fuck, so you're going to be stuck in bed for a while with his face buried in your neck and his arm wrapped around your waist. Even cuter, he gets absolutely giddy, giggling and referring to you by pet names that would totally negate his edgy satirist image if anyone ever heard him. You take the opportunity to play with his hair and dote on him for a bit, knowing that that's not a luxury that you often get without a lighthearted argument or joke being thrown in. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his own is probably his hair. He's pretty damn vain about it and experiments more than is most likely healthy, especially where bleach is involved. However, he does allow you your own input and the opportunity to assist, which results in his impulsive makeovers being a little less disastrous, — and he let you put pink streaks in it that one time. That was cute.

As for you, he loves your chest. Though this isn't without its perverted reasoning, there's something sweet about the way that he buries his face there when you tease him, as well as how he falls asleep with his head over your heart. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

You had to beg him to come inside of you for months before he finally felt secure enough to do it. You'll never forget the way that he grabbed your hips and held you down the first time, whimpering as you told him what a good boy he was for filling you up. 

D = Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He bottoms at least once a week, without failure. He's so particular about being in control all the time, so tightly wound. He trusts you to take the reigns when it's time for him to relinquish his grip. In his opinion, there's no better type of break than when you fuck him stupid.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows a good bit, but you've taught him most of it. Luckily for you, he's an eager learner. He doesn't just want to do what's worked before on his past partners, — he wants to please you . He's always happy to take your pointers, and he always makes good on them. 

F = Favorite position 

Either missionary or when you ride him. As basic as it all is, he just wants to get to look at you, no matter if you're above or below him. He likes to watch your face, and remember that this isn't just some random fling, — it's you, and he loves you more than anything. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous?)

You already know that he's absolutely ridiculous. He's hardly ever serious unless something's wrong. He frequently cracks (often objectively terrible) jokes mid-deed. You don't mind. You appreciate how he's always, — yes, always, — able to make you laugh.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they?)

You know that this man doesn't shave... Unless you ask him to. Then he would do it in a heartbeat, no questions, because, if you haven't gathered by now, you have him totally fucking whipped.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's so much sweeter than anyone would ever suspect. His entire brand may be playing the part of a massive jerk, but he's just so tender with you. Even when he's greedy, gripping and clawing at you, he's telling you through broken moans how much he loves you. Plus he can never seem to keep his mouth off you, kissing wherever he can while he's buried deep inside of you. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He's obsessed with phone sex, mostly so you can tell him when he can and can't come, even when you're not physically together. It's so much better when your voice is there to spur him on, and he knows he won't be able to deny himself like you deny him. He loves that you make him stop and wait, as well as the way that you assure him that he's so good, just for you. Hearing you get hot and bothered from listening to him jerk off is also a turn on. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He has a massive praise kink. Nothing makes him weaker than hearing you call him your good boy. He loves the way that you spoil him, indulging him in ways that he's too shy to ask for. It's both hot and reassuring to hear that he's good for you, but hearing that he's yours does it for him on an entirely different level. 

He loves when you're possessive of him. He likes it when you mark him up for this reason. He doesn't care if you leave behind hickeys or scratches, and frankly makes absolutely no effort to cover them when you do. He wants everyone to know that he belongs to you. Hell, you've joked that you could put a collar on him and he wouldn't mind. The fact that he turned bright red rather than arguing told you everything that you needed to know. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Whenever and wherever you can. The bedroom, the shower, the couch, locked rooms at work when Matt leaves to go get food, the backseat of his car. He's a red-blooded young man, and your living situation has not necessarily leant itself well to privacy over the course of your relationship. If you've got a free minute and getting caught is not a certain possibility, he's game. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

To reiterate: he's a guy in his twenties, and he's totally fucking in love with you. Sometimes all you have to do is look at him and he's begging you to find somewhere for the two of you to sneak off to. 

He likes when you play with him a bit, deliberately teasing him before telling him that you shouldn't do anything right now. He would happily let you get him riled up over the course of an entire day, reducing him to nothing but a begging mess by the time you finally give him what he wants. He's your plaything, and he fucking loves it.  

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's kinky, but some more extreme things freak him the fuck out. He wants you to take control of him, not put him in a position that could fucking kill him if either of you made a wrong move. That being said, weapons are off the table, and choking is a hard maybe.  

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Well, obviously he likes receiving, because what guy doesn't love a good blowjob? He loves the way that you dig your fingernails into his thighs and look up at him while bobbing your head up and down. It takes everything in him not to come on the spot, of course, but if you've taught him anything that he thought he might never learn, it has definitely been restraint. 

But when it comes to giving, you absolutely have him trained. He does exactly what you like, and he's naturally good at it. He loves when you pull his hair and push his face further between your thighs. Going down on you is his main way of serving you. He would absolutely do it all day if he could. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's fast, but not really rough, — not intentionally, at least. He's just impatient to a fault, which is something that you're trying to break him from. You frequently remind him to slow down and enjoy the moment. When that doesn't work, you edge him until he's reduced to a whimpering mess. Though you love the challenge that comes along with testing his obedience, you take satisfaction in the fact that he's so needy for you and let him go as fast as he wants on occasion. You're always pleasantly surprised when he accidentally gets rough with you. Knowing that he needs you that bad makes you come hard, which he most definitely appreciates. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

For better or for worse, quickies are a regular thing for the two of you. You've grown accustomed to getting each other off quickly at any opportunity. He's certainly not complaining about it, — if anything, it's made him all the more skilled at making you come, — but the times when you can actually enjoy yourselves without worrying about time constraints or somebody walking in are certainly a treat.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He has never experimented as much as he has since he's been with you. For the most part, he is at your mercy, letting you do whatever with him with only a few hard limits. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He has stamina in spades. It all comes down to how needy he is. It doesn't take much for you to get him hard again after he comes, and he's happy to go down on you between rounds. You've been known to make entire afternoons of your escapades, with him either letting you edge him or get him off again and again. Either way, there have been times where you haven't stopped until he got lightheaded and you had to go get him water and lovingly chastise him about stopping while he's ahead. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys are another thing that he didn't have any experience with before he met you. Now that he has quote-unquote "incidentally" discovered how much he likes, — ahem, taking it, — you've taken him shopping once or twice. You joke about how new and inexperienced he is while either making him fuck himself in front of you or listening over the phone. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease you just for the purpose of being a brat. When it actually comes down to the act, he'll do whatever you want, whenever you want. Still, he's certainly not above playing with you just so you'll turn it around on him and make him fucking cry later on. He's a glutton for punishment, though he'll never verbally admit as much. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's so fucking loud. Embarrassingly so, even. He goes the whole nine yards, — moans, whimpers, begs, cries for you. Though he always starts out attempting to keep himself under control, that never lasts. By the end of it, his face is always either buried against your skin or in a pillow, and Matt is usually loudly bitching on the other side of the wall, telling him that if he can't quiet the fuck down, he can at least "not sound like a fucking girl."

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

He can't smoke weed, so you make pot brownies for the two of you whenever you have a weekend to kill together. He barely has any tolerance, so he gets baked out of his mind. Conveniently, when he's high, he can't keep his hands off of you, and everything feels much more intense for the both of you. All of the stoned, giggly sex that ensues makes you fairly certain that your culinary endeavors are beneficial. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's a big, tall guy, and the rest of him is proportional to your expectations. (He just about died when you told him he was the biggest you ever had the first time that you slept together.)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Stupidly high. You like to inform all your friends that he "fucks like the Energizer Bunny." Unless he's sick or super depressed, he'd probably be o-kay with you climbing on top of him and taking what's rightfully yours. The two of you just never seem to get enough of each other. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If there's nothing else that needs immediate attention, he stays awake just long enough to clean up, curl up against you, and sleepily mumble a series of far-too-sweet sentiments while you rub his back. After that, he's out cold and still holding onto you in his sleep. 

[legacyshenanigans]

I wanted to do a 💀BAD TRAITS💀 list for Marvolo and Rowan. 🤍💚 Neither of them are "perfect people," so the traits below, either both of them have or at least one of them has.

Regardless of this list, I still fucking LOVE them though. 🤣

Marvolo & Rowan 🐍🐺

Bad Traits:

A

• Apathetic

Marvolo CAN be very apathetic to many different situations, though remaining emotionless in some circumstances is actually a strength rather than a weakness to him

• Arrogant

It's no secret, Marvolo can be incredibly arrogant.

Rowan on the other hand isn't in general, but around other Lycans/Werewolves, he CAN be.

B

• Boastful

Marvolo can be very boastful, in regards to skill especially, he knows he's powerful, and wants his enemies to know that.

Rowan is only Boastful really when it comes to strength, like Marvolo, he makes it clear you don't want to mess with him, because he WILL rip you apart.

C

• Careless

Rowan is usually VERY careless. He let's his emotions control him, which can sometimes end in situations that SHOULD be thought about, or on a lighter note, he just does and says stupid things without thinking.

• Cruel

Marvolo as a general rule, isnt "nice" and can be horrifically cruel when he wants to be.

Rowan can also be very cruel depending on WHO it is he's dealing with.

D

• Deceitful

When it comes to Marvolo, Very. He is INCREDIBLY Manipulative, and will do/say whatever it takes to bring about someone's downfall, or get what he wants.

• Defiant

I feel like both of them are, but Marvolo more so than Rowan.

• Dependent

Rowan is more dependent than Marvolo is. Marvolo isn't really dependent on anyone for anything, where Rowan often needs some form of guidance and support and many different things.

• Disorganized

Rowan is pretty disorganized. Man's kinda messy. Lmao.

• Disruptive

Rowan is extremely disruptive, he cares not for where he is, or who's around, if someone were to piss him off in a public place with many folk around he wouldn't think twice about starting a full blown fight, regardless if it's breaking the peace of an area.

• Domineering

Both of them have Domineering qualities, Marvolo more so than Rowan in general, but that's not to say that Rowan isn't dominant, because he very much so IS.

E

• Exploitative

Marvolo is, absolutely. If he can use someone unfairly to gain, he will.

• Embarrassing

Rowan, bless him, although it's not really his fault, can be extremely embarrassing to be around at times. Because he sometimes lacks the ability to act "normal" (acting like the animal he is)

F

• Fake

Marvolo can be very fake, though a bad thing, it's handy for him, he can be quite the actor, faking his interest to bring someone into a false sense of security, before he destroys them.

• Feckless

Rowan can be very feckless, he can be incompetent to certain things, sometimes making things worse when he's trying to fix or help.

G

• Greedy

Marvolos greed is born from wanting power and dominance over others. Where as Rowans greed comes from just wanting more simple things and just being very "MINE!" about it. (Marvolo can be like this too at times)

H

• Hypocritical

Marvolo, in a way, can be hypocritical, I guess, for example, having no issue at all killing an enemy, but being pissed off by them killing someone under his power in response. So I suppose in a way that's kinda hypocritical.

I

• Impulsive

Marvolo is cleverly Impulsive, where as Rowan is dangerously Impulsive.

• Indecisive

Rowan can be very Indecisive in many things, always fighting himself in his mind about what to do, which will result in (as said above for different traits) usually something bad happening that COULD have been avoided, but him struggling to make decisions makes him angry.

• Indulgent

Both of them are indulgent to certain topics, some good and some bad, both Marvolo and Rowan are incredibly indulgent to things such as sex and killing.

• Inept

Rowan (again, bless his heart) IS quite inept in many things.

• Insensitive

Marvolo and Rowan in general are rather Insensitive to people's feelings. However, when it comes to people they have emotional bonds with, its different.

• Irresponsible

Marvolo? Rarely. Rowan? Often. lmao.

J

• Judgmental

Marvolo is, yes. It doesn't take a lot to put Marvolo off someone, even for the smallest of things if he doesn't agree and like a particular something.

K

• Killjoy

Marvolo gets a sick little thrill from being a killjoy lmao, just ruining people's nice days.

• Klutzy

Rowan can be SO klutzy! To a point where its often comical.

L

• Lethal

Both of them are very lethal folk.

M

• Malevolent

Marvolo is VERY malevolent.

• Melodramatic

Depending on certain circumstances, Marvolo can be, but he's quite good at dampening his emotions to certain situations. Rowan, I would say, is more melodramatic in general because he REALLY lets his emotions control him, as does Volo, but only with certain emotions.

N

• Needy

Rowan DEFINITELY is. Sometimes too needy.

• Neurotic

Both of them have Neurotic tendencies.

O

• Overbearing

Both of them have the tenancy to be Overbearing in different ways.

• Overcritical

Marvolo can be Overcritical of OTHERS.

Where as Rowan tends to be more Overcritical of HIMSELF.

P

• Procrastinating

Rowan is awful for procrastination tbh, he'll often put things off.

Q

Querulous

Marvolo can be rather querulous, always complaining/having something to complain about.

• Quick-tempered

Though Marvolo IS quick-tempered, Rowan is more so. FLYING into a blind rage at the smallest of things at times.

R

• Reckless

Rowan is incredibly Reckless at times.

• Resentful

Both of them carry trauma which has made them very Resentful to certain people/things.

• Ruthless

Marvolo is more ruthless than Rowan in a general sense. But Rowan still can be very ruthless when he wants to be.

S

• Secretive

Marvolo is very a secretive person, even when it comes to his loved ones, there's just certain things he doesn't want ANYONE to know.

T

• Tainted

Marvolo is an extremely tainted person in general.

• Touchy

Marvolo can be, but again, Rowan more so, he's an incredibly touchy person when it comes to his emotions.

U

• Untrustworthy

In a general sense, Marvolo is not trustworthy, though if he likes someone and has bonded with them deeply, you CAN trust him.

• Ungainly

Rowan can be, yes. He's not graceful, and can be awkward.

V

• Vengeful

Both of them can be very Vengeful, if they've been crossed.

W

• Wicked

Both of them can be extremely wicked when the mood arises.

• Weird

I guess many would say they're are "weird" for the things they're into and like.

Y

• Yucky

Both Marvolo and Rowan can be "yucky." They're into disgusting and repugnant things.

~