#by the time maya started i just felt already under pressure and felt like i didn't have time to train her in everything i do

[fazcinatingblog]

I don't think I've ever left work at 6pm before

[arjunasearth]

Have you ever questioned the Timeline you live in?

This topic is big and I feel like it's my mission on Earth to communicate it clearly. I am just standing at the beginning and am NOT a professional historian. I just wanna share here what changed my whole perception of time and the reality I live in. I'm talking about my very personal experience and how my whole worldview shattered in a short period of time.

Where do I start?

We all know how to use the calendar. It is also normal for us to look at the clock, right? We have been doing it for all our lives. We have been taught this in school. That the clock is a basically a circle divided in tiny segments and that time works that way. We had to draw this circle, we had to learn it at the age of 6 or 7. Pretty early, isn't it. WE ALL HAD TO LEARN THIS. This is a fact. We grew up with being used to time being linear. We were educated to make appointments. To write these appointments in our calendars. We were taught on which days we have to celebrate which fiests . It just went on like that. Same with me . I grew up in Europe with this calendar and the clock and it really exhausted me, especially when I was going to school and later in university, as well. Everybody knows the stress of writing many exams in a row, the pressure and anxiety it gives you. 'Deadlines'. Deadlines have been basically controlling my entire life , growing up in Europe and in the capitalistic system. They drained me and made me feel depressive and see myself as 'not good enough' for many, many years. I didn't feel 'good' because I couldn't do all of this work and learn as much as others did in such a short period of time. It upset me and planted big self-doubt into my brain. I didn't see myself as a part of this world, (although growing up here in this system and mentality), it really appeared more than strange to me: Always living under pressure , running behind deadlines, getting as much done in the shortest time as possible, working all day long, earning money, not having the energy to take time for yourself because you feel so exhausted from work and so on. I could go on forever. I was struggling at school from a very young age already. I had severe difficulties to 'fit in' and became very anxious about 'not fitting in'. My mental and physical conditions worsened a lot. At the same time, my passion and interest for history ( or his-story....?) grew more and more and I began to realize that what I learn in school about history couldn't really be all that there is. With the age of 13 ( the moment I wrote this a raven flew on the tree I see right in front of me) I was told about the Maya, Aztecs and Inca for the very first time at school. I remember how much it fascinated me . But it were only a few lessons in history class , where we really learned something about these ancient and powerful cultures. I learned about the Pyramids of Gizeh as well. I remember my own fascination for these cultures. The high temples and the many deities. The interesting names and the mythology behind them. But they were not the main focus in history class: what we learned for years was about war, the roman empire, the n*zis, war, war... and more war. Having graduated from high school, I realized that almost all of the knowledge which I learned in school had a very big influence on my thinking and mentality and also made me want to find out more. Many things just didn't make sense to me , like e.g. the construction of the Pyramids in Egypt or the fact that I didn't learn a single word about Nikola Tesla, but a lot about Einstein. These are just good examples and of course I started to question more and more when I left school. But leaving school meant also entering University for me. I didn't pause for a year but went on to studying shortly after my graduation. Again, I felt kind of lost in the system and was literally bombarded with deadlines ruling my life. At the same time, I also saw an opportunity to study the things that really interest and thrive me. During this time, I did not stop researching by myself and gained access to what is called sacred knowledge. My interest in spirituality, quantum physics, philosophy and neurology (and so many other disciplines) grew rapidly. I started to connect with people and websites who were also thinking 'out of the box' and were simply open minded. At the same time, i started linking science to spirituality. There was one woman in particular who shared her big access to sacred knowledge with

people like me. It was because of her help that I I stumbled over José Argüelles and his books. I downloaded books like 'The Maya Factor' and numerous others about the Maya Culture and especially about the Maya Calendar. I came back to Maya Culture.

The re-access to and realignment with these information fundamentally changed my perception of life and reality as a whole. And it is the reason why I am writing this.

I began to question my perception of time. What happened was that I started to rediscover another timeline and calendar much much older than modern humanity is. And I asked myself how old the calendar which rules my life actually is and how long it really exists. Who made up our calendar? It was no other man that Caesar himself. He made it in his personal favor (think about 'Augustus' or ,Julius' being August and July) and arbitrarily added names of greek deities that have been transferred into roman names. In the middle ages, the Catholic Church (around the 14th century) picked up Ceasars Calendar and integrated it in their intentions. Means they arbitrarily added new days to the months. Have you ever asked yourself why February is so short, while e.g. the month May is so long? Does that make any sense to you? I asked myself the exact same question and realized that it doesn't make ANY sense in terms of nature. I found out that the uneven length of months in our calendar was also an Idea of Catholic church and has been kept this way until today. If you look at the cycles of the Moon for example, you will find out pretty quickly that every moon phase has the same length. It is a natural cycle repeating itself in this very exact and even length of time. Also, the word calendar has related to as a 'taxbook' throughout the middle ages. Means that in the middle ages , this book was a form of a protocol for the Church and the Kingdoms to control the payments of the farmers and the people who were their slaves. So I realized , that this concept has been kept this exact way for over 400 years now. The only difference that we have now is that we can use this taxbook ourselves. We are programmed and conditioned to use it, to let it control our lives. Looking at the Maya Calendar, reading and studying ( intensely studying!) its age and fundamental meaning for ALL Mesoamerican ( Mesoamerican means the Aztecs, Maya, Toltecs, Olmecs, Incas and many other tribes in this area) really turned everything around for me. How could these cultures, that have been living in the Americas up to 40.000 years before the arrival of the European colonists , could all be connected through a very unique calendar? I found out , that their use of a calendar was fundamentally different from what I have been programmed to believe the calendar to be. The T'zolkin is the central calender system which was used in the Americas for everday life- for thousands of years. Every day kept a message, an energy and opportunity and was guided by a specific deity as well. Our ancestors in the Americas used it for rituals and their traditions , and basically for every important decision on a personal AND collective level in their tribes. It were the daily energies who ruled the harvest of the people. Time had not been percieved as something linear, as we know it from the European calendar. It was rather something cyclic and can be imagined as a spiral. Time has been percieved as a movement embodied through a waveform. And we are the moving on these timelines which can be imagined as surfing on a timewave (think about sinus waves) rather than simply 'walking on a line', like we were taught to percieve time. This all made sense to me. I started asking myself how time is percieved nowadays: 'Time is money'. Probably the biggest lie we have ever been taught and the biggest manipulation ever been sowed. Everything in my mind shattered. Time as a linear concept. Time as something that is divided into segments. Time as a circle. Us literally running in circles from 9 to 5. Always running WITHIN this circle. But what is happening OUTSIDE THIS SEGMENTED CIRCLE? How do we really think about our past and our future and can them both really be explained through a linear time concept? Certainly not. Many things suddenly made sense to me and I started to uncover so many lies that have been told to me from a very young age on until now, to keep this ARTIFICIAL concept of time alive in my head (in all of our heads). I realized that there are many different timelines. And that we

have to re- and deprogram ourselves because of being educated about an artificial (and now digital) timeline for over 400 years now.

The Maya predicted , that in the year 2012, an old cycle would end a new cycle would start. Let that sink in for a moment. 10 years went by since 2012. What happened in this time? How did the industry (e.g. Hollywood movies) and media treat this topic? And where are we now? Think about for as long as you like. This question certainly will come back to your mind as it did and still does to mine. Connect the dots.

It is time to wake up.

And if you really want to wake up or are already waking up of whatever reasons, you do clearly recognize a matrix that has been created for us to live in that has NOTHING to do with the true perception of time. Think about the prophecies of Celestine. Think about time as an energetic force (NOT as money). Think about time being as cyclic as the cyclic movements in nature. Think about the artificial and digital structures (media e.g.) controlling our minds on the other hand and influencing us with THEIR concepts of time and calendar on a daily basis. So the moment I realized that there has been created a special code to create the matrix we live in (just like writing codes for a program- in our case it was the misusage of our ,consciousness program') was the moment I uncovered what this code was: The linear time construction and the (pretty young) roman-catholic calendar. They definitely rule our lives for many many years until we consciously uncover the biggest lie of humanity and consciously and collectively re-program and deprogram ourselves from the materialist and linear 2D Structures which the industry and certain companies programmed us to believe all over the world. So the first step we can take together in this MASSIVE spiritual , decolonizing and deprogramming process is to find out which calendar has been used by our ancestors (in our personal family line, for example) . Also, a very good way which worked for me was to realign with NATURAL cycles and movements, e.g. the moon or the suns or the planetary constellation and to observe how these natural cyclic movements influence my mood or the mood of the day , how I do feel not only physically or mentally but ENERGETICALLY and how I do percieve the collective energy of a day. We all know the feeling when there's 'something strange in the air'... a collective mood that does not resonate with a happy or good feeling. It really helped me to feel into these daily energies. Because they are always present and important to decipher.

My message is CLEAR: CHANGE YOUR TIMELINE. QUESTION the perception of time you have, no matter where you live . Start questioning the calendar you use, no matter where you live. Start looking at other , much older ancient calendars and what they are trying to tell us. And you will find out about the biggest lie ever told to HUMANITY AS A WHOLE.

And you will find the answers to many many questions, also to the questions why all of this chaos is currently happening in the world and why it is essentially important for us to wake up and also why the spiritual reawakening in our world is currently stronger than EVER before. And you will feel to urge to talk to everybody in your environment about it because it has control over TOO MANY lives. You will change your perspective.

You can start here:

https://www.13moon.com/honoring-arguelles.htm

https://www.resonancescience.org/

https://www.geophilia.org/

and find your very unique and personal access to this topic. I am always open to learn new and exchange ideas. Please feel open to contact me for further information. I am also thinking about making more blog entries about this. This is just way too big and too important to not be shared.

Sending blessings to all of you and Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my thoughts. And please: Feel free to Share! SHARING IS CARING FOR EACH OTHER.

Love,

Arjuna

[supercorpkid]

Pressure, pushing down on me.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader.

Word count: 3035.

Warnings: angst and a small panic attack.

If you want, you can read Under Pressure first, and this one will make more sense.

Things have been - you don’t want to use the word great, so – ok. Fine. Honestly, you’ve seen better days. But it’s not as bad, too. You’ve seen worse days. Things are… going.

Lena has backed off a little. She’s not pressuring you anymore. At least not verbally like she was doing. But the pressure it’s still there, even if it’s not so clearly put out. She told you she wants you to do better. To be better. You know there’s a lot of pressure for you to be this perfect being.

Lillian Luthor once told you, and you remember clearly: I guess you are the perfect specimen after all. And lately that statement is ringing loudly in your head.

They once said you don’t have to be perfect with your power, but then Kara complains when you’re not. She called for backup once and almost seems like she regrets that decision already. And then Lena said you were allowed to make mistakes, but you made the mistake of not focusing on your test and she didn’t quite forgive you for that.

The truth is: they are sending mixed signals.

Kara calls you weak and soft, then cries an apology at your feet.

Lena one day decides she doesn’t trust you enough, and goes through your lab, then she lays your head on her lap and says she’s sorry.

Kara says she is proud of how you’re already using your powers, because when she was your age she wasn’t doing so, but talks about her rule of only letting you go supering at 18.

Lena says she is proud of your powers and of you saving her life, but she always makes it feel like this is only the second most important thing. First is always studying.

They miss all of your school events, then stay besides your death bed for endless nights until you’re feeling better.

They say no one is perfect and no one should try to be, but then they push you until you get to the point of perfection. If being perfect is not important, then why are they always asking more from you when you’ve already given so much?

It’s a game of ‘you should do better’ and ‘you’re doing great’. It’s a push and pull from all sides. It’s mixed signals and confusing messages. It drives you to the edge of the precipice, then pulls you back, right when you’re about to fall from it.

And you felt yourself on top of the precipice all week. And when you heard them talking, you knew they were there trying to pull you back, trying to bring you closer. But this time, for some reason, that didn’t work. You’re still right at the edge, and any small wind might push you down. You can feel it. You can see yourself down in the abyss. You just need the tiniest little push.

And the push comes. Because the push was always going to come, whether they meant it or not.

“Hey!” Kara walks in home, and you look up from your books. Maya and Jamie do the same, and you thank Rao she decided to use the front door and not the backyard door, like she usually does when she flies in. “The squad is here!”

Jamie looks at you trying to hold back the laughter and you shake your head, already embarrassed.

“Ok. We’re not using that word ever again.” You say, making Jamie burst into laughter and Maya chuckles softly next to you.

“BOOOO.” Kara points at you, giving you a thumbs down. “I’m a cool hip mom.”

“Yeah, you are! You tell her, aunt Kara!” Jamie says it as a joke, but Kara totally buys it, throwing her hair from her shoulders.

She comes closer, to see what you all are doing, when the front door opens again and Lena walks in.

“Oh, study session!” Kara says looking at the books, before turning to Lena in the front door, still doing her entire routine before entering the house. “Look love, the squad is studying again.”

“The squad?�� Lena holds a laugh, ignoring Kara’s instant pout. “Please Kara, you’re a 48-year-old, you can’t say words like squad anymore.”

“You two are always clipping my wings.” She says making a huff sound and turns to Maya. “Hey, I heard you met Superkid the other day.”

“She actually saved me.” Maya says with the biggest smile. “She is so strong; she lifted a car!”

“Well, I mean, she has super strength. A car weighs the same amount as an apple for her. It’s not that big a deal.” Kara says with a little wink.

A little push.

“Yeah, I know. For her it might not feel like much, but for me it’s huge!” Maya smiles. “Especially because she saved my life.”

A little pull.

“Kara, stop disturbing the girls.” Lena comes to the table, sharing a little smile with everyone. “They don’t need to be distracted right now.” She looks down at your book realizing what it is that you’re studying. “Bien. Allons-y!”

A little push.

“Oh, come on, they look like they’ve been at it for hours.” Kara says, getting an agreeable look from Jamie. “Don’t you guys want to take a break and eat something?”

“I could take a break.” Maya says.

“And I could eat.” Jamie agrees.

You look down on your book. And then up at Lena’s raised eyebrow.

“Um, why don’t you go get something for you guys to eat?” You look at Jamie, who shakes her head agreeing, standing up right away. “I’m just going to look at this verb conjugation one more time.”

“Babe, come on. You got it. Five minutes break, it’s not gonna kill you.” Maya stands up too, but even though Jamie is already looking inside the fridge, she doesn’t leave your side.

“Yeah, kid. Go.” Kara smiles, and you nod. “Go! You got it!”

A little pull.

It’s this constant game of how high can you get, before seeing how far you can fall.

Jamie and Maya leave. French doesn’t. Kara brings you dinner in your bedroom because they don’t want to interrupt your studying. Lena kisses you goodnight and gives you fifteen more minutes before closing your book and going to bed.

Fifteen minutes goes out the window. And then thirty. An hour. Two hours. The entire night. Two minutes before the knock on your door, you lay on your bed. Blurry vision. Not a word in English on your brain anymore.

“Kid, time to get up.” Kara’s voice.

You count five minutes, and close your eyes.

“Come on, babygirl. School.” You hear Lena’s voice and you open your eyes again.

“D’accord. Cinq minutes.” You say getting a chuckle from Lena.

“Très bien, baby!”

This weirdly feels like a push and pull at the same time. You feel your stomach twisting inside you, and you get up, getting ready and going to the kitchen.

“Hey, little one.” You hear Kara’s sleepy voice, and she hugs you, kissing your temple. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Great!” You give her a fake smile. Eyes so tired you feel tears forming on the sides. Kara holds your face with one hand giving you one long inspecting look. Will she see right through you?

“Are you sure? You’re looking a little tired.” She says still holding your face.

“Then stop looking.” You mumble under your breath, but your words slur together and you’re not sure she understood you.

“Well, anyways-” Kara kisses your temple again, with a smile. “Good luck on the test today. We can go for donuts after, if everything goes well.”

If.

“Oh, yes. The exam.” Lena says, coming from behind you. “Text me at lunch break to tell me if it went well?”

If.

One big strong push.

“I-I have to go. Don’t want to get there late.” You throw your backpack over your shoulder. “I’ll fly.”

“Wait, did you eat?” Kara asks, with furrowed brows. Your stomach twists and turns inside you, but you’re not hungry, you’re nauseated. You walk to the fruit bow and pick up an apple. It’s not like picking up a car.

“I’ll eat on the way. See you guys later.” You make your way to the backyard door and leave, flying to the empty street behind your school.

You get there before anyone. And wait twenty minutes sitting on the ground outside, before Jamie arrives.

“Oh my God, you look like shit!” Jamie says with a smile and you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, well. You also don’t look-” You shrug before getting your words out. “Huh, whatever. Too tired.”

“Wow, you’re not even bantering.” She touches your forehead. “Are you sick?”

“Just didn’t sleep.” You sigh. “Ignore me.”

“Kinda hard, but I’ll try.”

You sit on your chair, relentless. Legs shaking, pencil banging on your table, eyes looking everywhere, but seeing nothing at the same time.

“Babe.” Maya calls you, and you look up. “You cool?” You agree with your head. “Did you drink coffee or something? You’re looking very high?”

“I’m ok.” You say, then acknowledge what she said. “YES! Coffee!” She jumps a little from your yell. “I had so much coffee today. But I’m cool.”

“Ok.” She sits behind you, and the teacher walks in ready to give out the exams. Maya squeezes your shoulder lightly. “You got this, ok? Just relax.”

You wish that could pull you back, but you’re already down in the end of the abyss. The whole way there, there’s no pulling you back now.

When the exam starts, your brain refuses to do the same. You just stare blankly down not seeing a word, not being able to move, think or breathe. This paralyzing fear, that any wrong move might ruin everything, takes over you. If you mess this up -or maybe it’s not a matter of if, but of when- when you mess this up, what will happen? Will they still try to pull you back? Will they still feel like you’re doing your best? Will they accept this failed version of yourself? Will they love it?

You lay your head down on your desk, and feel the painful weight of pressure, pressing down on you. Tears roll down your cheeks and you are unable to stop them, no matter how embarrassing this must look for you.

Jamie looks at you next to her. She mouths ‘are you ok?’. You want to scream that you’re not. That you are the opposite of ok. But no words come out. You hold the metal part of the desk, and she sees it bending, and sees how close it is from breaking. How close you are from breaking.

“Mrs. Arquette!” She calls, raising her hand. The teacher wavers, but comes when she sees her desperation. “She’s not feeling ok.”

“Miss Luthor-Danvers, what is going on? Do you need water?” The teacher kneels down next to you trying not to call attention.

You can’t talk. Your hands are shaking on the bent metal. Your tears are falling nonstop. And there’s absolutely no air on your lungs.

“Babe, babe. Talk to us.” Maya asks, stroking your back gently.

The entire class was silent for the test, but now you feel like you could hear a hair pin drop. They’re all staring at you. You’re lying on your desk, crying, while people around you make a big fuss about it.

“Can you get up, Miss Luthor-Danvers? Can you follow me?” The teacher asks again, but still radio silence from your end. You see her looking at Jamie, like asking what to do, since she knows you guys are cousins. “Can you help, Miss Olsen-Danvers?”

“I got her.” Jamie stands up, taking your hand out of the metal bar. She whispers in your ear. “You gotta help me, little-Danvers. I got you, but you need to help me a little.”

She makes you stand, and holds your waist, guiding you out of the classroom. Maya stands up too.

“Miss Rose, please finish your test. Her cousin is with her, she’ll be fine.” You hear the teacher’s voice, and Maya’s protests, but you get out of the classroom and that’s as far as you can walk. As soon as Jamie closes the door, you fall on the floor in a hyperventilating-cry, so desperate Jamie can only hug you.

“I’m here. Hey, I’m here. You’re ok.” Jamie whispers in your ear. “I’m going to call aunt Kara now, ok? Can I call her?”

You don’t answer, so she does as promised. It feels like it’s less than a minute later that Kara is kneeling down in front of you, taking you from Jamie’s arms, and wrapping you up in her arms instead. You hear Jamie telling her everything. Every single thing.

How upset you were over the test, and that wouldn’t let them stop studying until she got home the day before. That you didn’t sleep. That you were trembling, crying, breaking the desk. That she knows you aren’t exactly breathing or blinking. Then she said the actual words, so you don’t have to do it yourself.

“It’s the pressure, aunt Kara.” Jamie points out matter-of-factly. “She might have superpowers, but she is still a teenager. If my moms put this much pressure on me, like you do with her, I would have broken down years ago.”

And you are broken down. You are down the abyss. You are hopeless.

Kara flies you to L Corp. She marches down Lena’s office unceremoniously, holding you like a little baby, all curled up on her arms, sobbing on her suit.

“Baby, hey, can you talk to us?” Kara tries, sitting on the couch, and all you do is curl yourself more around her in a way you can’t even breathe. But that’s ok, because you feel like you’ve been holding your breath for a long time now.

“What’s going on?” Lena asks, stroking your back, back-and-forth in a soothing motion. That only makes you scream-cry harder, hugging Kara so tight, it probably hurts her already.

“She had a panic attack during the test.” Kara says and you blink at the realization. Oh, yes. This is it. That’s what this is.

You can’t see any of their faces, but you know they’re probably doing their weird telepathic communication thing, because Kara doesn’t have to say anything else for Lena to understand.

“Oh no, my baby.” She tries to pull you in, but you’re attached to Kara like a koala bear, and she’s not strong enough to move you. Kara tries pushing you into Lena’s lap, which only makes you hold her stronger.

Push. Pull. Pull. Push. It’s even physical now. The crying doesn’t stop even for a minute.

“Hey, hey.” Kara whispers on your forehead. “Momma is here, little one. I’ve got you. You’re safe. Just breathe for me. Can you do that? Can you breathe for mommy?”

Does Kara still love you? Does she still think this broken version of yourself is worth something? Is it worth her time?

“Ok, there you go.” She says when you take your head out of her chest. “You’re ok, my love. You’re safe. Can you tell me where you are?”

“L Corp.” You whisper, between your tears, and Kara agrees with her head.

“Very good. Now can you tell me something you can hear?”

“Your heartbeat.”

“That’s it, baby. You’re doing great.” She kisses your forehead. “Can you tell me something you can feel?” You feel Lena’s hand moving on your arms, shaking like yours.

“Fear.” It’s what you say, instead.

“Fear?” It's Lena who says it. “Of what?”

“Failing. Disappointing.” You say, and your breath gets stuck on your lungs again. “Not being loved if I’m not who you want me to be.”

It’s between tears that Lena says. “Please, let me hold you. Can mom hold you, babygirl?”

You stop clinging so hard to Kara, relaxing your arms so she knows it’s ok to move you. That’s what Kara does. She gently puts you on Lena’s lap, and you feel her arms wrapping around you, protectively, like she’s holding the most precious thing on her arms.

Does Lena still love you? Despite the disappointment of not having the perfect daughter, but rather this broken version of who you once were? Are you still worthy of her love?

“I promise you, you were never a failure. And you will never be one, my baby.” Lena speaks softly, in a tone you’re not very used to, reserved for only the sweetest moments you two share. “You are the single most important thing in the world for me, and I don’t care about your grades, or school, or science, or powers, nearly as much as I care for your well-being.” You feel her hands moving on your cheeks, cleaning your tears for you. “Who I want you to be is a healthy, happy teenage girl. And I apologize for pushing you to be anything else aside from that, and for pushing my own personal issues down on you. You, my sweet baby, don’t have to be anything aside from yourself for me, for us, to love you profoundly and entirely.”

You breathe. For the first time since the day started, you actually breathe. They do love you. They’re not going to stop loving you.

“Little one, we love you so much, I can’t even put into words how big and extreme this love is. You are everything we could possibly want and much, much more.” You feel a kiss on your forehead, and you smile a little from it. “Whatever it is that happens in your life, we will love you, and support you, ok?”

“Ok.” You look up to both of them, with big teary eyes, and you agree with your head, feeling your heart easing out on your chest. “I love you two very much.”

Kara throws her arms around you and Lena, and you’re sandwiched between your moms, listening to their ‘I love you’, and heartbeats, and sweet reassuring voices until you slowly fall asleep in their arms. You’re loved for who you are. That’s all you want to be. And you know, when you wake up again, you’ll be pulled out of the abyss.

Notes:

Thanks @youngjusticeimaginesus for this other incredible prompt. I love writing angst more than I should.

[robinrequiems]

Now that you mentioned it, can I have some track star player! Damian and basketball captain! Jon 👀

👀

• Baskebtall November-march, & outdoor track & soccer is March-June. pspspspspsps! I know Jack shit about sports (:

• in freshmen year, damian found himself bored, he had so much built up on energy that he needed to release. damians not a.. team player, so he joined a sport that didn’t really require you to be a team player. track.

• damian could run okay? he could run fast. so it was perfect, so now, as a junior, he was known for winning the school track trophies but Damian wasn’t as well known as jon. captain of the basketball team, a boy cherished by the school for bringing home a trophy for the first time in years. their basketball team was bad, but then, little freshmen jonny joined

• he just joined for fun, he didn’t expect to get in, he also liked played basketball with his brother, so he just tried out. ( that’s what he said at least ) sure, at the start he wasn’t the best player, but then, during their first game? he was playing amazingly. apparently the boys great under pressure

• he slowly rose up in the team and became well known, there was always a girl or two chasing after him in the halls ( jon didn’t really care for them.. he was more interested in the track star )

• jon fell in love with damian. no.. well.. jon had a crush on him since freshmen year. why, you may ask? ..he likes his personality, jon remembers getting lost in the falls as a freshmen and then sophomore Damian going to help him. was he laughing at him? definitely.

• people said damian was rude, jon said otherwise. he may not know damain that well, but he could see kindness in him

• his team members called him a simp. he.. no.. he wasn’t a simp? all he did was defend damian

• people said jon didn’t even know damian, but jon feels like he’s known him for years.. like they were partners or something ( am i hinting at reincarnation and a potential reincarnation arc in this au 👁 or am I hinting at doing a reincarnation au? the world will never know)

• jon believes there’s more to Damian than people think

• Maya is the captain of the girls soccer team, Tai is apart of the basketball team, Kathy is a cheerleader, and billy is a football player

• damian is friends with maya and sorta friends with tai due to club activities ( art ), & an acquaintance of Kathy because Maya is dating kathy ( today is a date I ship kathymaya )

• jon is friends with tai, Kathy ( childhood friends ), Maya ( Kathy’s gf so he knows Kathy’s gf ), & billy

• damian often saw jon in the halls, jon tried to smile at Damian, but damain just ignored them. he didn’t know Jon. stranger danger

• jons last game was coming yo, the championship, damians track season was about to start soon, the school was amped up

• it was the final game and jon was so hyped

Jon: Hey! Damian!

Damian:

Damian: what.

Jon: the um.. my last game.. it’s.. it’s friday.. and I was wondering if.. if you’d go?

Damian: I was already going.

Jon: really!

Damian: yes, tai invited me.

• a slight lie on damians part

• but he briefly heard tai ask Maya if she would come, and Maya normally brought Damian along ( much to his dismay.. )

• jon eyes lit up when he heard the name tai. Damian knows tai. TAI KNOWS DAMIAN

Jon: TAI

Tai: Jesus Christ, jon-

Jon: you know Dam— d a - frick - Damian

Tai: yeah?

Jon: set us up! match make! okay cupid!

Tai: are you sure english is your first language, ‘cause..

Jon; tai!

Tai: why do you even want to go out with him???

Jon: he’s pretty…

Tai: he’s mean

Jon: he is not!

• tai did not know what world jon wad living in

• but. tai was one of jons best friends so, he of course, tried to help:)

Tai: hey, shithead

Damian: oh my god, don’t talk to me

Tai: I need a favor

Damian: no.

Tai: you owe me.

• damian did owe him, tai took him to the er one time when he he fucked his ankle up after doing something stupid

Damian: what.

Tai: I need you to wear the number 3 to the game

Damian: 3– that’s - the boys- jons. why?

Tai: don’t ask.

• so that’s how Damian ended up wearing a shirt with the number 3 on it, Maya laughed at him

• oops. but Damian didn’t really care that much. but him wearing jons stupid number started rumors

• damian didn’t really label his sexuality, jon was openly bi, do that wasn’t the problem. the problem was that they thought they were dating

• damian didn’t like that and found it annoying. you see, damian didn’t really know of jons crush, he didn’t pay enough attention to the boy, it wasn’t like he was in any of his classes anyways.

• ( tai and Damian are sorta actually good friends, they have that insulty friendship and share a lot of classes, Maya is senior, along with Billy, Kathy’s a junior w/ tai n billy )

• damian really didn’t care for jon. at all.. until he actually saw him. the last time he saw jon. he was.. noodle like.

• now? he was not. he didn’t really fully pay attention to jon before. sure he’s saw his smile and face, but oh my god.

Damian: hes hot

Maya: what?

Damian: n.. nothing. Sorry.

• he did not mean to narrate his thoughts there. Damian didn’t care for team sports, but looking at jon play? wow.

• the way jon ran around, he was so. Elegant.

• damian was seriously ogling jon. Damian has never felt more embarrassed. he hates when people focused on his looks and here he was. doing the same. he wanted to commit mass murder. on himself. right now.

• meanwhile, Maya was just trying to watch her girlfriend who was sitting on the bench while Damian was having a mini breakdown on how shallow he was being

• ( told you guys, Damian will always be dramatic in any universe )

Maya: you good there-?

Damian: no.

Maya: great, it’s half time, I’m gonna go say hi to kathy

• he couldn’t believe Maya was leaving him in his misery

• meanwhile, jon was fsngirling. Damian was here. Damian. Wearing his number. Oh shit.

Jon: tai tai tai tai!!!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!

Tai: yeah yeah, you owe me

• jon played so well that day too, they ended up winning the game. no one knew where jon got that sudden burst of energy when he was beginning to get tired, but he did

• and he got the winning shot

Kathy: geez, jon! good job!

Jon: thank you!

Maya: thought you guys were gonna lose

Tai: thanks Maya

Maya: anytime <3

Jon: I’m gonna say hi to damian, wish me luck!

Maya: luck wished

Tai: don’t combust when he looks at you!

• tai is the best wing man <3

• but anyways damians still in the bleachers, trying to hide from the world

Jon: Damian!

Damian: yes?

Jon: thanks for coming! I think you were my good luck charm

• jon should have not said that out loud, but he did.

• and Damian chose to just: not comment on it.

• a week or something later and it’s damians track meet

• he has started looking forward to jons smiles in the halls, but he still pretends that he never sees it. he learned a few things about jon, how he’s truly a sweetheart, probably the nicest person in the planet— as long as you don’t mess with his friends, and failing English class

• but damian doesn’t have the time to pine, he spends his hours now running, jumping hurdles, jumping, and yadayada.

• he was excited. he was. he was just: wow. he was hyped up, energy was building up in him as anticipation built up for the first meet. It was currently Monday, the first meet will be Wednesday. Three days.

• and in those three days, he was his own enemy. sleep- sleep did not come easily. Not at all. His thoughts kept him up and awake, thinking about the possibilities, it was absolute garbage.

Maya: geez, you look like a zombie

Damian: feel like one

Tai: hey dude did you bring th— ooh yikesss

Damian: shut up.

• damian was 100%my grumpy that day and glared at all passing bystanders

• but jon had began sitting at Damian’s table, along with Tai ( 😡 )

• damians table consisted of Maya, sometimes Kathy, Maps, && Colin. Colin was also apart of the track team

Jon: uh, D- are you okay?

Damian: mmhhhshshshjsnm

• jon and Damian started calling each other by D and J, they don’t know why, it just happened

• jon wanted to go to damians meet, but he didn’t exactly know if Damian would like that? it was.. complicated

• he didn’t even know if him and damian were friends, they barely even saw each other minus the small times in the hallway and lunch

• but he did go to damians track meet, damian would never admit that he liked that Jon was there

[menofchaos]

Angel and Violet

Smut: 1

Fluff: 3

♥️♥️♥️

Note: Since I already did 1 for smut, we decided smut 13 instead. The pressure again was on since Bea is one of the best of the best. I hope you love this, babe. Pretty long, very sexy. I can’t wait for everyone’s reactions.

Angel and Violet “I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met.” and “You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the past half an hour. Time to show me what, exactly, was on your mind.”

EZ watched from the bar as Angel frowned, a laptop in front of him. Coco walked in and sat at the bar.

“What’s going on?” Coco asked him, “Can I get a beer, Boy Scout?”

EZ grabbed a beer and twisted the top off, handing it to him, “I’m not sure. He came in with the laptop but hasn’t said a word.”

Coco took a sip of his beer, watching Angel for a moment, “Hermano, you good?”

Angel looked up, “I’m stressed as fuck. I’m trying to figure out something to get Vi for her birthday but I can’t find anything good. She doesn’t want a lot of stuff or she buys it herself.”

“Are you gonna have a party for her?” EZ asked.

“I haven’t even thought about that,” Angel groaned, “Fuck.”

“Could have it here,” Coco suggested, “If you throw a party, you won’t have to stress about a present as much.”

Angel nodded as he listened, “Think Bish would be down?”

“Think Bish would be down with what?” Bishop asked, coming in from outside.

“Violet’s birthday is coming up and I can’t figure out what to get her,” Angel explained, “Can I have her party here?”

Bishop nodded, “Sure.”

“Now how do I plan a fuckin party?” Angel groaned.

EZ laughed, “I’ll call pop to get the food.”

Coco nodded, “I can call Letty to help, she loves Vi.”

“Thanks,” he sighed, “Fuck,” he laughed, “What have I gotten myself into?”

~

“Hey baby,” Angel called.

Violet walked in the kitchen, “Whats up?”

He stroked her cheek, “Bish just called. We have to go on a run in a few days.”

She frowned, “For how long?”

He winced, “For a week?”

“Oh,” she pouted, “Okay.”

“I tried to change it because I don’t wanna miss your birthday,” he hugged her, “We can celebrate when I get back?”

“Alright,” she hugged him back tight. Angel felt awful when he saw her pout but he knew she would love her surprise party.

~

Violet looked out the window as Chucky drove her to the clubhouse. Letty had texted, asking her to come over and help her with a project for school. Violet had her long hair curled as she was bored with her day off. She took her birthday off in hopes of spending it with Angel. The truck stopped in front of the gate and Chucky turned it off. She stepped out, frowning when he closed the door and started opening the gate separating the scrapyard and the clubhouse.

Her eyes widened when the gate opened to reveal the entire MC plus Letty and Felipe, hangarounds, and Vicki with her girls. A group of her friends were in front of the cage as everyone screamed, “Surprise!”

She teared up as Angel stepped toward her, “You lied to me!” she laughed through tears.

“I know,” he smiled when she hugged him tight, “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, kissing him softly.

He let her go so she could greet everyone else, Letty setting a tiara on her head when Violet got to her.

“Sneak,” Violet laughed and hugged the younger girl.

EZ hugged her and handed her a glass of tequila and pineapple juice before she headed over to her friends, who still looked around nervously.

“Querida,” Angel called a little while later.

Violet turned to see her mom and her brother Dominic standing next to him. She teared up again and hugged them, giggling when Angel saved her drink from almost spilling.

“Hey baby sister,” Dominic grinned, “You got a good man.”

“I was skeptical,” her mom admitted, “Given what you told me. But he won me over.”

Angel’s eyes widened when her mom asked to meet his father. Violet brought her over to where Felipe was grilling meat and Angel watched as Felipe and Tina, Violet’s mom, start talking as if they were old friends.

It wasn’t until later in the evening that Angel got his hands on his birthday girl. Tina had left and Dominic bonded fast not only with the rest of the MC but one of Vicki’s girls caught his eye and he caught hers. Violet was walking down the porch stairs Angel was sitting on. 

“Hey pretty girl,” he called.

Violet turned, smiling when she saw Angel watching her. She straddled his legs and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Thank you for this,” she whispered, “You sneaky man.”

“You like it?” he rubbed her hips, closing his eyes as she kept kissing his lips.

“It’s the perfect birthday boyfriend present,” she giggled.

He laughed softly, holding the back of her head to keep her locked into a kiss. She moaned against his mouth, letting their tongues tease the other.

“Do I get birthday sex?” she murmured, nipping his bottom lip.

“Is that what you want?” he teased, gripping her ass hard.

She nodded, “Yes, please.”

He winked, “Then that’s what my birthday girl gets.”

~

It was still another few hours later and the party hadn’t stopped. It slowed, Dominic leaving with one of Vicki’s girls and all of Violet’s friends gone. She was talking to one of Vicki’s girls, Maya, who was interested in EZ. Angel was leaning against the wall by the pool table, his eyes never leaving Violet. Maya eventually went to go talk to EZ, so Violet made her way over to Angel. 

“Hi,” she stole his blunt, taking a pull.

“Hi,” he smirked, “What’s up?”

She handed the blunt back, “You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for like the past half an hour. Time to show me what, exactly, was on your mind.”

“Oh yeah?” he leaned down, his lips brushing hers, “You ready to go?”

“You feel ready to go,” she teased and kissed him, “But yes.”

It was almost two hours by the time they made their rounds to say goodbye, collected the presents Violet received and got home. Angel carried her into his room, then dropped her on the bed. She leaned up on her elbows and was met with a hungry kiss, Angel covering her body with his. 

“Gonna make you feel so good, baby,” he murmured, laughing as they fumbled to get their clothes off. He kissed down her stomach to her clit, licking a long slow strip up her slit.

“Angel,” she gripped his meticulously done hair, smirking as she watched him suck her clit. She moaned and rolled her hips down on his tongue.

“Does that feel good, mi dulce?” he slid a finger inside her, flickering his tongue over her clit.

“Yes,” she whimpered, “Another.”

He laughed, “So demanding,” he added another finger, “Think because it’s your birthday, you call the shots?” his tongue tracing circles around her clit.

Violet moaned, “Oh fuck,” she hooked her thighs over his shoulder, “How is everything on you so big?”

“What do you mean?” he kissed her clit, thrusting his fingers in and out of her, “How fucking wet are you? How long you been thinking about this, baby?”

“Since...I saw you,” her body flushed at the admission, “You looked so sexy.”

“Yeah? You been wet all night?” Angel teased, “Wanted my dick?”

She nodded, “Wanted you,” her eyes locked with his as he shrugged her legs off his shoulders to move up her body. She teased her nails down his back and smiled when he shivered.

He kissed her slow, pumping his fingers hard and rubbing her clit with his thumb, “I wanted you as soon as I saw you, too,” he whispered.

Violet dug her nails into his back, “Why...didn’t we sneak off?”

“Oh I thought about it,” he smiled when she wiped his beard, sucking the remnants off her finger, “Nasty.”

She giggled as he pushed himself back down and sucked her clit hard. Her back arched and she gripped the pillow under her head, “Fuck, Angel!”

He didn’t stop until she came twice, her body shaking. He sat back on his knees, sucking his soaked fingers with a smirk.

“You’re so damn sexy, baby,” he licked his lips, “You good?”

She nodded, panting, “Please fuck me.”

Angel grabbed her thighs and pulled her closer. She gripped the sheets, watching as he held his shaft under his tip and rubbed it up and down her wetness, smirking. She whined, shifting her hips as he kept using his head to tease her.

“Angel,” she whimpered, “Please.”

“What?” he laughed, “You need something?”

“Yes,” she pouted, “I need your-“ her eyes rolled back as he pushed into her slow, goosebumps covering her arms.

“Is that what you wanted?” he smirked and pushed her legs up to fold her body in half. He fucked her hard, his hair falling down his forehead as he watched her. He hissed when she dug her nails into his hips, “You wanted my dick?”

She moaned, “Yes,” her eyes closed slowly, “Holy shit, baby.”

He groaned, “Oh fuck, you’re so wet.” 

“Angel,” she cried, gripping his hair, “Fuck me harder.”

“Yeah? You want it harder, princesa?” he panted and thrusted harder, “You want dick?”

“Yes,” she sobbed, “Please.”

Angel smirked and pulled out, his chest red and heaving. Violet whined, licking her lips as she watched him.

“On your knees, baby,” he rasped.

“Yeah?” Violet sat up and stroked him with a tight fist, kissing Angel and tugging his bottom lip.

He growled, slapping her ass. She gasped before maneuvering on her hands and knees. He grabbed a pillow for her to slip under her hips. He slapped her ass again and smirked when she gripped the sheets.

“This what you want, birthday brat?” he teased again by rubbing his tip from her slit down to her clit.

“Yes,” she looked over her shoulder, “Please.”

He slid into her and started fucking her hard, smirking when she cried out his name. The only sounds that surrounded them were the slapping of skin, her cries and his grunts. She clenched around him, her thighs trembling.

“You’re getting me close, baby,” he grunted.

“I’m gonna come,” she gasped.

Angel leaned over her, gripping her hand in hers, “Come for me, baby. Then I’m gonna fill you up,” he nipped her earlobe and wrapped his hand around her throat.

Violet reached down to rub her clit, her back arching. She sobbed his name as she came, her body shaking. She tightened around him and he growled in her ear, spilling deep inside her. She collapsed on the bed, a light layer of sweat covering their bodies. Angel pulled out slowly and laid next to her, panting.

“I should shower but I can’t move,” she breathed and turned her head to look at him.

He laughed softly, “That good?”

Violet nodded, scooting closer to him. Angel pulled her closer and kissed her head, closing his eyes. She laced their fingers together, her head resting on his chest.

“I’m so happy,” she whispered, “Thank you for tonight.”

“The sex or the party?” he joked and ran his fingers through her hair.

“Both. You’re incredible, Angel,” she looked up at him, “I’ve never felt like this about someone before.”

“Really?” he asked quietly, “Because I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met,” he admitted.

Violet leaned up and kissed him, “I have too,” she whispered.

He stroked her cheek, “You seemed so unimpressed with me.”

“I knew you were gonna be important to me,” she kissed his palm, “I panicked.”

“I did too,” he murmured, smiling.

She kissed him, her forehead on hers, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he held the back of her neck, “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“Never,” she smiled, “I can’t sleep this sticky,” she got up, “Come clean me up,” she slapped his thigh and ran to his bathroom.

“You little shit,” he laughed and took off after her.

[ask-jumblr]

You guys never published my question! What’s wrong with wanting to have a space for people who were born Jews? I’m not saying we shouldn’t be welcoming of converts, they just never experienced the anti-semitism growing up or the experiences of growing up Jewish.

Mod (singular) here. Yes, I didn’t post your original ask because it wasn’t consistent with this blog’s standards, although I did make a post recognizing that it was (1) sent in, and (2) didn’t meet content standards. It might be time to clarify or expand the current guidelines; anyone who thinks that’s the case is welcome to reach out. Back to your ask...I know that having a not-posted ask can sting, and I’m sorry you’ve gotten this far through life without your community providing you with the knowledge for you to understand why your proposal is inappropriate and dangerous.

I’m going to remind everyone blog is welcoming of converts. From this blog’s stance, except when there are halachic nuances followed by certain communities, converts should not be treated any differently than born Jews.

Converts don’t need to be treated any differently than born Jews (excluding those halachic nuances relevant for certain communities), because those differences you’re thinking of, anon, they’re not true for all converts. There are very few experiences that couldn’t be shared by a born Jew and a convert. Your generalizations about converts are causing fallacies in your logic. I’m including some stories below the cut that I hope will give you a more complex understanding of the breadth of experiences among people who have converted to Judaism. The stories I’m sharing are all made up, but most of the nuances, the catches that it’s easy to forget are lived experiences. Many are borrowed from friends, friends of friends, or famous Jewish figures.

You mentioned experiencing antisemitism growing up; I suspect that you’re hurting, but you will find converts who hurt for the same reasons; please don’t shut them out.

However, even besides the issue of treating converts differently (1) generally breaking custom/halacha, and (2) being pretty pointless because many will share experiences of born Jews, creating spaces that exclude converts is also dangerous. Converts, like some other groups in Jewish spaces (e.g. JoC, Jews with disabilities) already experience hostility, exclusion, and isolation in Jewish spaces. Building spaces that intentionally exclude them for some reason perpetuates the problems we need to fix in our communities.

Folks are welcome to add to or correct this response. However, I hope that my own response and the standards I’m setting about respecting converts as fellow members of the broad Jewish community will eliminate the need for me to moderate any anti-convert sentiments on this post. Another ask that I’m linkng here might be a better place to discuss the situations where converts are differentiated and/or any Jewish communities that do not recognize converts. If it’s getting another round of activity, I’m happy to reblog it again.

Jessie’s parents converted in a Modern Orthodox community when she was 3. She and her siblings, age 5 and 8, were converted along with their parents. A year later, her baby sister was born Jewish.

Brad’s father raised him celebrating Jewish holidays at home. Brad’s mom stopped being Christian long before they met, although they sometimes visited her parents and exchanged Christmas gifts under their tree. At school, Brad was bullied for being Jewish. When his mom was offered a job in a local city, Brad’s family decided it was long overdue to move to a community where they felt more welcome. In the city, Brad was able to attend a Pluralistic Jewish High School. In college, Brad’s experience with Chabad led him towards an Orthodox Jewish community, and he converted so that he would be halachically recognized as Jewish.

Melanie was adopted by a Jewish couple as an infant and was converted shortly after. For as long as she can remember, her personality has consistently clashed with her birth mother and they had a tenuous relationship. They cut ties when Melanie turned 20. Melanie doesn’t remember a time before she was Jewish. When it came time for her Bat Mitzvah at her adoptive family’s Open-Orthodox synagogue, her decision was easy to reaffirm her Judaism as a Jewish adult. When she started looking for someone to marry, her friends were surprised when they tried to set her up with a Kohen, and despite their sparks she didn’t want to go out on a second date. Until then, they hadn’t known that Melanie had converted, growing up they’d assumed her birth mother was Jewish.

Sam’s mom is Episcopalian and their dad is Jewish. They were raised with both sets of holidays, attending both a church and a Reform synagogue. However, in high school, Sam started going to youth group at a Conservative synagogue with some of their friends. They really loved the Conservative Jewish community they found at the youth group and its associated synaogue. With their parents’ support, Sam decided to convert so they would be able to count in a minyan and have aliyot at the Conservative synagogue.

Maya’s family is Jewish. While knowledge of their Jewish status was passed down, clear documentation of ketubot/gravestones/etc. was lost when they were fleeing persecution. When she wanted to get married, her fiancé’s parents wanted to ensure their grandchildren would be recognized as Jewish. Even though her fiancé was against it, they encouraged her to complete a conversion to dot i’s and cross t’s. Maya decided it was easier to complete a conversion than deal with her in-laws’ pressure. She also didn’t want her children to have to deal with the consequences of a murky Jewish status. A rabbi connected to the family quietly arranged for a conversion so the Jewishness of Maya and any children she should have would be documented and undeniable.

Josh’s dad is Jewish, but his mom isn’t. His dad didn’t raise him as Jewish and he didn’t even know he was Jewish until his mother told him when he was 15. His mother explained that his dad was a child survivor of the Holocaust, and he didn’t want his new family in the U.S. to be burdened by his Jewish identity. However, Josh didn’t feel burdened. Now, he finally understood whyn his father had suffered from nightmares and depression. During high school, Josh taught himself about Judaism behind his father’s back; he didn’t want to upset his father further. After graduating high school, Josh moved out from his parents’ house to attend nursing school. Josh joined a local Reform synagogue, where the rabbi encouraged him to complete a ‘reclamation’ conversion and helped him fill in the gaps in his Jewish education.

When she was in kindergarten, Sarah’s mom remarried, forming a blended family with a Jewish man and his two kids. Sarah’s father isn’t in her life, so she only lived with her mother and new step-father for most of her childhood. A few years after their marriage, Sarah’s mother converted through their local Reconstructionist Synagogue. However, Sarah’s mom wanted to make sure Sarah had the freedom to make her own decision. While Sarah wasn’t converted, she did celebrate Jewish holidays with her family. Shabbat was Sarah’s favorite day of the week; sometimes her family would go to synagogue, but even if they didn’t, they would make time to spend together as a family. When Sarah turned 13, she wanted to have a Bar Mitzvah like her older step-brothers. Her parents and the local rabbi encouraged her to think through her decision, and her parents offered to throw her a big 13th birthday party without her reading Torah. However, Sarah really wanted to be fully recognized as a Jewish adult in her community. A few months after she turned 13, she completed her conversion and read Torah at their synagogue for the first time.

Complicated stories like these happen all the time.

[wellhellsbelles]

hey! i love everything you write and can't wait for the next chapter of ttroywh. i saw you're taking prompts and i was wondering if you could write one i saw in @rickibowen saying that riley and maya go to the bachelor and riley's supposed to fall in love with lucas but falls in love w/ farkle who is the camera man/editor of the show and she always tries to make him laugh by making faces during one on one interviews and so, while lucas and maya fall in love w/ each other

hope you don’t mind me cutting it short! i don’t know much about the bachelor and would’ve liked to expand more but the internet is not good at gleaning info on the process 😅 so here’s my take on as much of that au as i could!

enjoy!

Farkle took the dumb job by chance.

 Well, he did apply for it, but he never thought he’d actually get the job. In all honesty, he figured his small degree in video production wouldn’t end up fruitful, that it was only really a backburner type of deal. He still did believe that—he was going to pursue something in science, that he was adamant of. He just needed . . . a break from it (“Even geniuses need to take care of their mental health,” his mother had told him.) So he pursued videography, something that had become a sort of hobby to him, and when the summer arrived and he needed cash, he figured he’d apply for this job just for kicks.

Farkle never believed he’d end himself up on the set of The Bachelor, not in a million years.

It was sort of surreal, the whole atmosphere that followed such an illustrious television show. Farkle never bought into the appeal of the show, especially since it seemed silly to drag all these girls along just for some pretty boy to tell them they weren’t “the one”. It just seemed cruel, but then again, who was he to judge? He was earning money off of taping their dreams getting crushed, after all.

The first day on set was a barrage of sensory overload—so many voices, faces he needed to commit to memory, an itinerary of equipment he’d be handling . . . there was just so much. He was halfway tempted to run when he started becoming overwhelmed, but he remembered himself, breathing in and out until he’d maintained a sense of calm.

Farkle could do it. He would do it. There was no way he was backing out now.

The preparation for the show was massive, but then the first day of filming arrived right under his nose. Profiles he’d studied of both the bachelor and the ladies he would be choosing from were going to quickly turn to reality, no longer just faces on a page. He knew he wouldn’t be making friends or anything of that ilk, but he did want to at least talk to people, especially since he’d be the one on the other side of the camera for most of the shooting.

Farkle was going to be the main guy they all report to when it’s time to film their confessions, maybe secrets that would be aired on television but no one else on set would know until later. No one but him, which he was well aware was a heavy burden to carry. But then again, it was reality television—who said anything anyone reveal was actually real? The contestants weren’t getting paid for anything, so truth was muddied at best.

But somehow, despite all of this mess being, well, a mess, Farkle could still say he was excited at the prospect of taking part of something big. This was his shot at obtaining a glimpse a slice of a life he’d never experienced before, and he couldn’t wait to see how it all turned out.

 //

 “I can’t believe you talked me into this dumb mess. This is your fault,” Maya groaned from beside Riley as the other girls with them in the limo talked animatedly.

“My fault? How was I supposed to know they’d pick both of us for this show? Besides, you’re the one who submitted your application while we were drunk! You could’ve backed out at anytime and you know it, Hart,” Riley said accusingly. “Besides, we’ll have fun! You need some in your life.”

“I feel like I’m being pimped out by a bunch of white guys to another white guy. I hate this,” Maya slumped down further in her seat. “And they took my phone, too! How am I supposed to entertain myself?”

“Don’t you draw? Just do that. I know you brought your sketchbook,” Riley suggested. Maya shook her head.

“Nope. Not going to happen. I am not advertising my art for the world to see. One of those dumb cameramen are going to sneak up on me and do it without my permission, I just know it.”

“Suit yourself,” Riley shrugged, turning her attention to the rest of the girls in the car. She knew there was a camera in the car with them and that the producers would prefer it if she engaged in conversation about the bachelor, but she’d rather just lay low. She’d try and play it up for them later after she’d seen him up close and personal.

But Maya did have a point. Why was she doing this again? It really was a decision she made on a whim, but unlike Maya, her decision was made completely sober.

The Bachelor had been one of her favorite guilty pleasure shows that she watched over the years, but she had never once entertained the idea of actually becoming a contestant. Perhaps it was when her long-term boyfriend broke up with her that spurred her interest, maybe she just needed something new and this was it. Whatever the case, she had been picked along with her best friend, and wherever Riley went, Maya followed.

She couldn’t be too mad, anyhow—the bachelor they had picked was incredibly handsome.

His name was Lucas Friar, born and raised in Texas. Everything about him sounded like a dream come true, but she kept a smidgeon of skepticism about him just in case the show had encouraged a little truth bending for the sake of appeal. Still, she couldn’t deny that his extensive list of positive qualities all seemed a little too good to be true.

He sounded like a true, southern gentleman, the kind that would meet you at the door and talk to your parents before escorting you out on a date. A lionhearted and loyal friend, the testimonies in his profile had mentioned. A guy who is just so down to earth you can’t help but fall for him. Loves animals of all kinds and is working hard to become a veterinarian. His experience of being raised on a farm spawned his interest in animal care.

If Riley could swoon, she would. She still might, after meeting him.

For the rest of the ride, Riley tried her best to pitch in with the “bachelor talk” the other girls were participating in. She wasn’t too terrible at it, but getting Maya to participate was another thing entirely. Despite making it onto the show and agreeing to be there (Riley told her she didn’t need to say yes to being a contestant! At this point, she’s almost certain Maya agreed for her own personal agenda that Riley’s not privy to), she refuses to play along.

After what felt like an eternity of a car ride, they made it to the mansion they’d be staying at for the duration of their stint on the show. They asked Riley to be the first one out of the limo, something that floored Riley.

First limo, first out—they had a good feeling about Riley, was what that meant. She’d watched enough of The Bachelor to know that the first person to meet the bachelor was important; it was his first impression, the real start of the show, and it meant the producers were rooting for her.

So, no pressure.

Her meeting with Lucas passed by her in a flash, but she had a good feeling about it. He found her slight awkwardness endearing and by just interacting with him, she felt as though there was a certain energy between them. Of course, she’d never been the best at reading situations, but something told her that it was right for her to be on The Bachelor.

After meeting him, she waited in the main room as the other girls got to have their own interaction with Lucas, trying to not feel nervous as they all piled in together. They chatted amongst each other, but Riley couldn’t help but notice Maya hadn’t joined her yet.

Must be the producers, she admonished in her mind.

She wasn’t allowed to keep wondering, however, as a distraction was sent her way. One of the producers walked in, announcing that they were going to start filming confessionals and called Riley up to be the first.

“We just need you to talk about Lucas a little, maybe your experience so far,” he explained as he ushered her off to another room. “Be yourself, but also realize this is television, yeah?”

“So be myself but not really myself?” Riley blurted. The producer nodded.

“Bingo, you’ve got it. Now go in there and kill it.”

With a slight push, Riley entered the confession room, the door closing shut behind her. There was a guy already in there scrawling down notes onto a clipboard, his focus undeterred until the door closing alerted him to her presence.

“Oh, sorry about that,” he muttered, setting the clipboard down. He turned toward her with a slight frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, and Riley couldn’t help but feel bad for him. It seemed less like he was trying to be a professional and more like he didn’t want to be there at all.

“Hey, I know this is a weird request, but what’s your name? I’d like to get to know everyone around here, even if I just last a day,” Riley said. The cameraman’s stormy blue eyes lit up in surprise.

“You want to know my name? No one wants to know my name,” he told her. Now it was Riley’s turn to frown.

No one here wanted to know his name? But he was helping make the show. Was the whole production team for The Bachelor really that callous?

“Well, I do. Here, I’ll start—I’m Riley Matthews,” she beamed, sticking her hand out towards him. He hesitated a moment before enveloping her dainty hand with his, the warmth comforting.

“Farkle Minkus. I’ll be your cameraman for a lot of this run, but mostly just the confessional stuff.”

“Glad to have met you, Farkle.”

After breaking the handshake, it still took Farkle a moment to gain his footing and Riley couldn’t blame him.

“Okay, so you’ll sit at that seat right there,” he gestured in front of him to the empty chair, “And you’ll have to give me a moment to set the lighting right on you and then make sure sound is good.”

Riley did as she was told, waiting patiently in her seat as he shuffled about the room. She observed him scrambling about, heart warming at the awkward way he appeared to be moving. It reminded her of herself when she was anxious.

After a few minutes, Farkle was ready, giving her a countdown to begin.

“Just start talking about your first impression of Lucas, okay?” he instructed.

“Okay,” Riley nodded. She watched in silence as he started the countdown audibly, switching to counting with his fingers when they reached three. Then two, followed by one.

Showtime, she said to herself.

 //

 At the end of the first night, Maya was the first to get a rose. Riley wasn’t surprised one bit—Maya had a sort of charm about her and people couldn’t help but be drawn to her. It always surprised her when that happened, and that night was no exception to the rule. As someone who was also competing, Riley couldn’t help but feel a touch jealous, but more than anything, she was proud of her friend.

Despite Maya receiving the first rose, though, Riley did get quite a bit of time to spend with Lucas. He was shy and reserved, yet cheerful and inviting, and they got along quite well. If Riley was a spectator, she’d bet good money on herself.

But her time outside of filming scenes was spent hanging around Farkle. He didn’t really believe her when she said she wanted to get to know the people working on the show, so she was determined to prove him wrong, especially since she just kept being picked by Lucas. Each day, she’d greet Farkle when she’d spot him by the refreshments table set up for the crew, she’d ask how he was when he was there to film her confessions, and just do her best to cheer him up since he always looked down.

“You know you’re going to get me fired, right?” he asked her one day after they filmed a scene. “You keep making faces at me and I’m trying so hard to not laugh but I swear, Riley.”

“Is it making you laugh?” she said, curious.

“Yes, oh my god! They’re going to have to cut so much of that out not just for your dumb faces, but me interrupting their audio,” he groaned. Riley smiled.

“Good. Then I won’t stop!”

“Relentless, Riley Matthews, that’s what you are. And a pain in my ass.”

Riley liked getting to film The Bachelor, but as the days passed by, she had a feeling it was less because of her wanting to be on the actual show and vying for Lucas’ attention, and more due to the fact that Farkle was there.

And if halfway through the filming process Lucas ended it because he’d picked Maya (and she picked him too, shockingly), Riley couldn’t find it in her to be sad.

She had found Farkle, after all, so really she was the true winner of the game.

[lovemychoices]

The Lost Prince - TRR/TRH AU [Liam x MC] Mini Series - Part 1

After being married for three years and unable to produce an heir. Liam gets an unexpected news that changes his & Riley’s life forever.

Genre : Romance, Drama

*THIS SERIES PRACTICALLY THROWS CANON OUT THE WINDOW* YEET!YEET!

Characters except my OCs belong to Pixelberry, I am just borrowing them

Word count : 1500++

Chapter Summary: Liam and Riley struggle to get an heir forcing Riley to go with plan C. Meanwhile Liam gets some life changing news that could change his life forever.

A/N : So I had this series kept in my draft for quite sometime and finally decided to post it. I might regret this later. This will be a 5-6 part mini series and is going to be a prequel for another series I have planned called Heirs : A prince of Cordonia. I did not check for edits so forgive me for any grammatical mistakes.

Warning : Mentions of infertility and some pregnancy complications, that might be sensitive to some readers.

Riley nervously taps her feet on the carpet floor of the SUV while fidgeting with the fingernails, she was trying her best not to bite on them a habit she developed as a child whenever she felt nervous or uneasy. They were on their way to meet the OB-GYN for what felt like the hundredth time. Riley and Liam have been married for two years and were unsuccessful in producing an heir, something that they were being put under pressure for ever since they were married.

They tried the natural way during their first year of marriage when that didn’t work they opted for other options like IVF and IUI even some traditional methods but nothing worked. “Everything will be alright love.” Liam takes her hand assuring her. “Liam, I can’t go through with this again. What if it’s a false alarm again? What if I’m not pregnant.”

Liam wraps his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “Then we try again, there are some couples who try ten year before they are able to conceive.”

“But we’re not like other couples, we don’t have time. The longer Cordonia doesn’t have an heir the more dangerous it will be for the monarchy. What if something bad happens?”

“Hey look at me Riley.” He tilted her chin with his fingers so she’s looking at him. “I will never let anything bad happen to us. Whatever it takes, remember?” Riley gives a grateful nod and leaned her head on Liam's shoulder. When they reached the doctor's office, the were both heartbroken to hear that their IVF treatment was yet again not successful.

At that point Riley had already felt like giving up and was considering a third option. “I think we should move to plan C.” She said in a perpetually tired voice, her eyes downcast. Liam is about to say something but she holds up her hand and continues. “Before you say anything, Hana and I already have a few candidates lined up and by the looks of it they seem pretty promising.”

“Love, I don’t want to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to.”

“But that’s just it Liam, I want this. I am just so tired with all the failed attempts, I just can’t do this anymore. I want to have a family with you even if it means I’m not the one who’s going to be carry them myself. It will still be our child and that’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Riley's request took Liam by surprise, he knew how much the whole pregnancy experience meant to her. He gets up from his chair and walks to where Riley is seated, he takes her hand in his and kneels in front of her, his eyes gazing warmly into hers. “My love, you know all I want is your happiness. If this is what you want, what you really want then you have my full support.”

If she was being honest, surrogacy was the last thing she wanted. What if something went wrong? Like the surrogate going rouge and running away with their baby? There have been such cases. But she didn’t want to be selfish, she knew how much having an heir meant to Liam and while he could wait the council couldn’t nor could the media.

Riley gives a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll have Madeleine set up an appointment for the candidates next week so the both of us can conduct the interview ourselves since we won’t have anything going on.”

Liam nods giving her a comforting squeeze. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

*************************

Liam sat in his office going through some documents that required his attention though his mind wasn’t really paying attention. Riley’s request kept ringing in his head, he wanted to make her happy and he would move heaven on earth for her. It’s not a big deal, a lot of people who can’t have a baby often go for surrogates.

He is suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of his office phone ringing and picks it up.

“Your majesty, there’s someone on line it’s someone calling from the states. She says it’s important, something about Maya Reinhart?”

“Maya Reinhart?” He mimicked, he only met one person with that name Maya and it was 6 years ago when Leo took him for an impromptu brothers bonding trip to LA.

6 years ago…

The sound of live music filled the air of the rooftop party in downtown Los Angeles. It was after Liam just graduated from college and Leo decided they should celebrate with their annual brothers trip.

“Look alive brother because tonight we're going to party out ass off.” Leo grinned patting Liam on the back. “Now take your pick, tonight we're are not two princes only a couple of two normal but still handsome young men looking for adventure.”

Liam shrugs. “And by adventure you mean a one night stand with someone?”

“Who said it was just the one?” Leo gave a mischievous grin, making Liam shake his head. “ Oh, if anyone asks what we do, just tell them we’re models or something. Now go have fun!” He eagerly pushed Liam into the crowd and heads the opposite direction toward the bar where a few ladies were seated and were ogling their eyes at him since they arrived.

Liam scanned the room taking in the lively atmosphere of the party, it was nothing like the balls they had back in Cordonia. There were no formalities or protocol they needed to follow, everyone could just have fun and let loose.

“Are you lost?” Liam whirled around and saw petite brunette with the most beautiful smile sitting by one of the L shaped couch next to the edge of the glass banister holding a book. But that wasn’t the only thing about her that caught his attention, what caught his attention was the colour of her eyes. One of it was blue while the other was half blue and half brown.

“Um.. No. I was actually looking for a place to sit. Do you mind?” He gestured to the empty space beside her. The woman gave a shrug before nodding and returned to read her book.

Liam sheepishly took a seat next to her. “So..why are you reading at a party?”

“Because I’m studying for the bar exam on Monday. I would rather stay at home but my housemate insisted I come, so here we are.” She said and closed her book, turning her attention towards Liam. “So what about you? Why are you doing at a place like this, clearly this must’ve been your first choice in your itinerary.”

“What gave you that impression?”

“Because you’re here talking to someone who’s reading a very boring textbook instead of enjoying himself sipping champagne by the table of supermodels over there.” She gestured to where Leo was standing.

“You’re right this wasn’t the first place I had in mind when I came to LA but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to enjoy myself.” He grinned then extended his hand. “I’m Liam by the way. Liam….” He paused when he remembered not to use his real last name. “Deveraux. Liam Deveraux.” She smiled and shook his hand. “Maya.”

“Only Maya?” He raised an eyebrow. “For now, if you can keep me interested until the end of the night I might just give you my last name.” She playfully winked which made him snort out a laugh. “So Liam, I assume from your accent that you’re not from the states. What brings you to this side of the pond?”

“I’m here on a modeling job with my brother.” He lied then pointed to where Leo was standing.“He’s the one standing by the bar talking to those women.”

“Why aren’t you joining him?” She looked at him curiously.

“Because I’m enjoying the company I have now.” He grinned. “By the way, you have really pretty eyes.”

Maya chuckled. “It’s called sectoral heterochromia. It’s sort of genetic but very uncommon in humans. My grandmother on my mother’s side had it. People normally stare at me weirdly when they first notice my eyes, like I’m some sort of alien or something.”

“Well I think it’s beautiful.” He smiled and her cheeks started to blush. As the night went on the two talked and drank, enjoying each others company. After four bottles later Liam finally worked up the courage to ask Maya to dance with him.

The two swayed rhythmically to the beat of the music with Maya’s back pressed in front of Liam, his hands moved along the silhouette of her body and his lips inches away from her neck. He spun her around to face him and capture her lips in a heated kiss ignoring the crowd around them. She pulled back letting out a soft giggle and gazed into his dark blue eyes, both smiling back.

After that, everything else went by quickly. Liam invited Maya to his suite for coffee but one thing lead to another and the next thing he knew they were both eagerly taking each others clothes off and having mind blowing sex. The next day he woke up and Maya was already gone, the only thing she left was a piece of note on the bed that said. Thanks for last night, Maya. Liam let out a sigh then plopped back onto his pillow and murmured. “She didn’t give me her last name.”

Present day….

“Put them on.” Liam said. “Hello am I talking to his majesty King Liam Rys or Cordonia?” The person asked it was a voice of a woman but it sounded nothing like Maya. “Yes this is he and please call me Liam, may I know who is on the line?”

“My name is Leah Sanchez, I am a friend of Maya’s.” She sputters. “I don’t even know if you even remember her…”

“Yes I remember Maya, we met that one time 6 years ago. What’s this call about? Did something happen to her is she alright?”

There was a short moment of silence before the woman said something. “Liam, Maya passed away a few weeks ago from ovarian cancer and I’m sorry for springing this information on you but there is something else you need to know. When she died she left behind a son. Liam, he is your son.

***************

I’m using tags from my other TRR Series and adding other’s that I think would be interested in this series. Do let me know if you want to stay on the list. if you would like to be added or removed.

TRR/TRH - @charliejane-blog @dcbbw @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @pixieferry @lodberg @traeumerinwitzhelden @romanticatheart-posts @gnatbrain @the-soot-sprite @texaskitten30 @ao719 @desiree-0816 @emceesynonymroll @jessiembruno @kinkykingliam @jlpplays1 @annekebbphotography @thecordoniandiaries @cora-nova @rainbowsinthestorm @jessiembruno @leelee10898 @client-327 @kingliam2019 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @zaffrenotes

[prism-sakura-s]

Gingerbread Houses

Chapter 2: The Home

Prompt: Fake Relationship for the Holidays

Warnings: sympathetic remus, nsfw mentions, caps

Pairings: Eventual romantic Intrulogical

<  >

AO3

@sanderssidescelebrations

~

The car pulled into the driveway, the sound of crunching following it. Logan ignored a comment from Remus (“The tires are grinding into the ground!”) as he concentrated on not hitting anything. 

“You know,” Remus mused, twirling his moustache, “rockets are already very phallic-looking.” 

“mhm.” Logan looked into the side mirror to make sure he wasn’t going to run over any of his mother’s flowerpots. 

“So what if there was a dildo shaped like it? It’ll even have its own launchpad, and when you activate it it’ll shoot up your-"

SLAM!

Remus and Logan froze as the car reversed in full speed, then screeched to a halt, causing them to lurch forward. 

"A little excited, aren't we?" Remus turned to grin at his companion, only to find Logan's forehead perched on the wheel, both his hands gripping it. "Uh oh-- Logan???"

That's when Remus noticed Logan's shoulders shaking, and small noises coming out of his mouth. It took Remus a while to realize, to his surprise, that Logan was suppressing giggles.

"Are you broken, dork?" Remus whispered.

Logan straightened with a small snort, then tried his best to wipe the smile off his face. "Apologies, it's just--" Another giggle out of his mouth, which he covered with his hand. "Your idea, it got me there, I have no idea why-- oh my god."

In a flash, the laughter was gone, and so was Logan, who had rushed out of the car in the drop of a hat.

Remus blinked, trying to process what had just happened. "Geez, does he like to do everything so fast?" he wondered with a smirk, removing his seatbelt. "I think I like that."

Outside the car, Logan was inspecting the rear, which had bumped into the flowerpots. There was not much damage; only one pot had been cracked. The rest were just knocked over by other pots, or tilted. Nonetheless, Logan didn't think his mother would fly into a rage if she saw the state of the flowers, just exasperated. 

"Wow," Remus whistled, "you didn't have to get that excited over my concept of a rocket dildo, Logie. Turned on much?" 

"Don't be ridiculous," Logan simply said, turning to re-enter the car. "I was just caught off-guard."

"But I was making jokes like that the whole trip!" Remus reminded him.

"You were asleep for half the ride."

"I was making jokes like that the whole time I was conscious!" 

Logan advanced the car a bit, making sure to keep a distance from the flowers. Afterwards, he turned off the ignition, grabbed the luggage (with Remus helping), and started towards the house. 

"Come on, Remus," Logan called. "It's about time you met my parents."

Remus squealed and ran towards Logan with his baggage-filled hands in the air.  

Then he tripped and face-planted into the ground. 

Logan found a smile creeping onto his face. He replaced it with a sigh and an eye-roll. Hopefully Remus could control himself around Logan's parents, unlike in the car. 

The weird thing was, Logan didn't really seem to mind Remus' gruesome and lewd thoughts. On the contrary, he even found some of them to be quite amusing. Not in the "haha dicks" or "haha murder" kind of way, but rather in the way one would be amused by a child's nonsensical ramblings. It was… cute. 

Cute? 

"Alright, Logan, I'm here and at your service!"

Remus was already beside Logan, who had just realized he had been staring at the door for a while. Logan turned to his "boyfriend" (oh, that's right, Remus was going to pretend to be his significant other), who was grinning, every inch of his face filled with excitement. 

"You called me 'Logan'," the respective person realized.

"Yeah? Whudaboutit?" 

"You mostly call me by a teasing, rather ridiculous nickname," Logan said.

"Oh, well, I figured those nicknames weren't going to be pleasurable to your folks, so I figured I'd call you by your real name, warm up a little." Remus' arms swung back and forth. "That's smart, isn't it Lo-lo?"

Logan felt the half-smile on his face once again, but didn't really bother to hide it this time. "Yes, I suppose it is."

Remus' grin suddenly shrank into a small smile as he glanced down at their hands. 

"Should we? We are supposed to be rubbing holes, after all.”  

“Are you ever going to use the term ‘dating’?” Logan asked. 

“Oh, should I not do that either? Okay!”

Logan smirked and slowly took Remus’ hand in his. “Well, shall we?”

Logan saw a tint of red covering Remus’ face as the latter stared up at him, but assumed it was from the cold. “You bet your sweet ass ass we shall, new boyfriend!” Remus exclaimed. 

The two walked to the front of the door, ready for a week of pretend. Logan pressed the doorbell, and the ringing tune that sounded throughout the house suddenly seemed to ground him. 

He was there. At his parents’ house. With Remus, his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Boyfrie-

The door creaked open.

“LOGAN!”

Oh boy. 

“Hi ma,” Logan greeted with a small smile. 

“Oh, hello my dear, I’ve missed ya!” Maya Anderson cried, wrapping her arms around Logan. “Welcome home! Oh, I hope your journey wasn’t too tirin’, was it?”

“No, ma, we’re fine,” Logan reassured her. 

Mrs. Anderson detached herself and smiled, cupping her hand to Logan’s cheek. “Well, I am sure relieved. And this…” 

She grinned as she turned her head to Remus, who, Logan realized, had straightened his back and was smiling kindly, as if trying to look presentable. The aura around him had shifted considerably, although, Logan remembered, Remus was related Roman, so he probably picked up some acting skills from his brother. 

“This must be your boyfriend!” Mrs. Anderson squeed as she moved closer to Remus to inspect him. 

“Pleasure to meet you!” Remus said. “I’m Remus!”

Maya giggled. “Hello Remus! My, what a funny voice ya have! And Logan, I didn’t know ya had a thing for facial hair.” 

She patted Remus’ cheek before turning to head back into the house. “Come now, sugar, come in! There’s some afternoon snacks waitin’ for the two of ya, we better eat them before they get cold.” 

Mrs. Anderson walked into the house, calling, “Miiiitch! Lo-lo and his boyfriend Remus are here!!!”

A muffled, deeper voice seemed to respond from deep inside the home. 

Logan and Remus followed Mrs. Anderson into the house. She led them to the living room, where a cream-colored couch and a recliner surrounded a wooden coffee table, all in front of a television screen attached to the wall. Several paintings and pictures decorated walls and shelves. Various DVDs, board games and books were arranged on a standalone shelf located under the TV, beside more pictures. 

“Take a seat, why don’tcha?” Mrs. Anderson invited the two. “Let me bring your bags to your room, and I’ll get the snacks and tea. Mitch will be comin�� down in a hot minute.” 

Maya hummed as she made her way to the other room, presumably the kitchen. Remus made himself comfortable on the couch, flopping down onto it and rubbing his body all over. 

“At least make some space for me, Remus,” Logan said, sitting down on the far end. 

“Ughhhh, I’ve barely done anything and I’m already so tired,” Remus complained, kicking Logan’s legs, which Logan hardly appreciated. “How do you stay so stoic and boring all of the time? How???” 

“You don’t have to act so formal,” Logan said. “You can be as energetic as you wish, as long as you don’t act barbaric.”

“Your definition of ‘barbaric’ is much tamer than what it actually means, Hulk Hoe-gan,” Remus huffed. “Making jokes about dildos isn’t as horrifying as--gasp--” Remus straightened up, putting a hand over his mouth and widening his eyes in a comical fashion, which was admittedly quite funny to Logan, “murdering someone!” 

“But you joke about that too,” Logan reminded. “And it doesn’t matter which is more disturbing, the fact remains that my parents wouldn’t find it favorable if they thought I was dating someone who thought about rocket-shaped dildos and gruesome killings on the daily.”

“Not on the daily!” Remus corrected, feigning offense. “I only thought of that rocket dildo today! To make you laugh!” 

“Me, specifically?” Logan asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“I mean, you’re the only one in the car with me, so you’re automatically my audience!” Remus stuttered a bit, seemingly trying to get his rapid thoughts in order. 

"That is true," Logan said. "But, please try to keep up the effort? You don't have to hide your energetic self, just refrain from speaking of things that will perturb any normal person."

Remus flinched a little, but quickly recovered. “At least… some light jokes?" he pleaded.

Logan thought about it for a moment. "Alright, as long as it's nothing extreme." 

"Yay! Thank you, Daddy-o!" Remus exclaimed.

"No-"

"Did I hear someone say 'Daddy'?" 

Mitch Anderson stood in the doorway, staring down at the two on the couch with a smile. "I hope you kids aren't getting too naughty, what with the lack of adult supervision.” 

“Pa please,” Logan grumbled. 

Mr. Anderson chuckled and ruffled Logan’s hair. “Don’t get so riled up now Logan, y’know I’m just messin’ with you.”

“Hi Mr. Anderson!” Remus greeted. 

“Hiya,” Mr. Anderson said. “You must be Logan’s boyfriend!” 

“Yep,” Remus said, nodding vigorously, “I’m Remus!” 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Mr. Anderson said, taking a seat on the recliner. “Have y’all been doin’ okay?”

“Yes, we’ve been doing quite fine,” Logan affirmed. 

“Gotten into any fights?” Mr. Anderson asked with a grin. 

Logan sighed. “Why must you inquire me that every time?” 

“Why, is it wrong for a father to wonder if his son had stirred up any trouble?” Mr. Anderson took the remote from the coffee table and turned on the television. “It’s interesting!”

“Mitch, don’t pressure your son like that, now,” Mrs. Anderson berated her husband, entering the room with a plate of cookies and setting it down on the table. 

“Logie has been in a fight once!” Remus said, suddenly straightening himself. 

“With whom?” Mrs. Anderson asked, curiosity—and perhaps worriement—flooding her eyes. 

Logan shrugged awkwardly. “Er, it’s been a while, I can’t remember.”

“It was Cthulu!” Remus blurted. “He insulted my mustache so Logan here punched the daylights out of his face!”

Logan flinched, quickly turning his head to look at his parents’ reactions. They simply blinked. 

“O-Oh! It was merely a joke!” Mrs. Anderson chuckled rather nervously. “What a funny man ya are, Remus.”

“Though, it would have been impressive if Logan here was able to take down such a monster,” Mr. Anderson jested. 

Logan smiled apprehensively, and turned to Remus, who was grinning widely despite the lukewarm response. 

“I’ll get the tea now,” Mrs. Anderson said, turning to leave the room again. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.” 

“Well,” Mr. Anderson said, “anythin’ else you boys want to tell me about?”

“There sure are!” Remus said cheerfully. 

Logan took a cookie and allowed himself to fully relax into the couch, thankful for the shift in atmosphere. Maybe this week won’t be so stressful after all.

~

Taglist: @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth

[aonorunic]

Moments for Us Alone, Byleth/Dimitri/Claude AU, Chapter 3: Longing

Summary:  Claude could not be more happy to have Dimitri and Byleth in Almyra. He would have two blissful months to spend with his lovers, stealing private moments that belonged only to them.             Chapter Summary:  Dimitri realizes Byleth has been hiding her desires behind Claude's own.

Notes at the end.

Read on AO3.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Dimitri closed his eye, enjoying the sun warming his face and the slim fingers gently teasing their way through his hair. Byleth’s lap made for a wonderful pillow, and his world narrowed only to her, the sounds and chatter in the gardens drowned out by his own joy. He was content.

It was no longer a strange feeling after all these years, but there were times, times when he allowed himself to dwell, that it made him uncomfortable. He could still remember the smell of death, the sight of ruby red blood staining the entire world; he could hear the echoes of the dead despite their voices laying dormant for what felt like a lifetime now. This was so much more than he deserved ---

He started when those gentle hands moved to the sides of his face, Byleth’s thumbs smoothing over the worry lines that marred his face. “You were losing yourself there, love.”

Her voice was gentle, so full of understanding and love Dimitri could do nothing else but cling to it. She hummed a simple tune while Dimitri used it as a lifeline to pull himself back from the darkness. The voices of the past were never fully silent, they would rear their ugly heads again, but he was learning to step back from the edge. He was only grateful that this time it was easier to do so than others.

When he was once more relaxed in her embrace, Byleth moved her hands back to play with his hair. “You should sing more often,” Dimitri whispered, the barest quiver breaking his voice at the last word. “I always forget how soothing your voice is.” He opened his eye again to be met with the sight of Byleth smiling down gently at him.

“I already receive enough attention,” she answered. “But I will sing for you if you want my to.”

Dimitri reached up to place a hand at the back of her head. Byleth, needing no further urging, leaned down and brought their lips together. It was soft, a reminder that she was there and always would be, containing all the little things Dimitri loved about her.

A shriek caused them to tear apart, adrenaline pulling their muscles taunt as they reached for weapons that were not there. Trained eyes scanned the garden for signs of trouble.

Trouble turned out to be a child Claude was currently lifting over his head. The young boy shouted again, laughing and tangling two small hands into Claude’s hair. A gaggle of other small children surrounded him, all laughing and smiling in obvious delight.

“You’ll need a better plan than that if you want to defeat me!” Claude announced, being met with more screams of joy.

Dimitri chuckled as he watched his husband, a smile on his lips when Claude’s bright laugh cut across the garden. He opened his mouth to say something to Byleth, but the words died on his tongue. She looked at the happy group with sorrow written clearly across her face.

It was a look he was seeing more and more often.

This time it was Dimitri’s turn to reach up and caress Byleth’s face. She leaned into his touch gratefully. “Beloved?”

“I’m fine, Dimitri. Really.” She did not sound convincing at all. He caught the flutter of her hand before she stopped herself, her fingers twitching toward her flat stomach. 

Dimitri did not remove his hand. “Marianne and Mercedes did not say you were unable.”

“But they did not say I could either. There was no conclusion at all.” Byleth took a deep breath, attempting to school her features back to neutrality. “He is so happy right now. I know he wants one. He deserves to be a father.” Byleth shook her head and lifted away from Dimitri’s hand. “We’ve tried for so long.”

“He is happy with us, that will not change,” Dimitri assured her. He moved his hand to play with the ends of her hair, passing the mint green strains through his fingers. I’m right here, he said without words, knowing she would understand his message. I’m here. “You have given us both so much already, neither of us would ever think to ask for more. You could never disappoint us, Byleth,” he told her, addressing the one thing he knew she feared about the whole situation the most. “Never.”

When she sighed and leaned her head down, Dimitri grasped her chin, his thumb pressed against her lips. She rewarded him with a quick kiss. “And goddess knows, he is only too happy to keep trying,” Dimitri teased.

Byleth gave him the smallest of smiles, but the sorrow did not leave her eyes; eyes still glued to Claude. One of the children positioned herself behind the king and pulled back her leg. Dimitri both laughed and winced as the girl’s foot connected with Claude’s shin. Claude yelped, overshadowed only by the girl’s mother shouting her name.

“MAYA!”

Claude ignored the horrified woman, instead bringing the boy he was still holding down to tuck under one arm. With a swift motion he scooped up the girl and held her under his other arm. Both children screamed with mirth, their small feet kicking out behind the king. “An ambush, huh? I’m just going to have to deal with that swiftly and severely.”

Claude ran around the gardens with the two children, eventually ending up by a fountain. Dimitri could not hear what Claude said, but based on the way the children started shrieking, he guessed his fellow king had threatened to drop them in the water.

With another laugh, like dropping honey into tea, Claude repositioned both children so he could cradle them each in one arm, both clinging to his shoulders as he marched them back towards their parents. The rest of the children who had followed him scattered as Claude neared the adult nobles.

“Maya!” Dimitri could hear the child’s mother scolding again. “What were you thinking?”

Dimitri saw Kasra come up to the woman and place a steady hand on her elbow. Standing together, Dimitri could see the resemblance between them, and guessed she was either his daughter or niece.

“I’ll overlook it this time,” Claude told her. His voice was light, and that disarming smile was on his lips, but his eyes were calculating. He leaned down, his attention seemingly fully on the girl, but Dimitri knew his words were more meant for the adults standing beside him. “With a kick like that I wouldn’t be surprised if you became a great warrior. And I need great warriors in my elites.”

Maya jumped, bouncing on her toes. “I’ll train everyday!” she promised.

Claude nodded, but held up a hand, silently getting Maya to stop bouncing (although the girl still managed to practically vibrate with energy). “But the main duty of my elites is to protect me and my family. Which means no more kicking royals, okay?”

Maya nodded, serious in only the way a small child could be. “I promise, Your Majesty.”

Claude graced her with a smile and patted her head before his attention turned to his lovers. The smile dropped ever so slightly when his eyes landed on Byleth. He excused himself from a few nobles who were trying to gain his attention and began to make his way over to them.

Dimitri looked back up at Byleth, who was scrambling through emotions, which only made Claude’s pace quicken. It was a rather upsetting sight on such a usually stoic face, even if she was more open with her emotions than she had been when they first met.

“Beloved,” he said softly, redrawing Byleth’s attention to him. “He isn’t the only one who really wants one, is he?”

Byleth opened her mouth, but no words came forth. He knew Byleth realized he was referring to her and not himself. She had tried so hard to hide her own longing, masking it as another’s want, but Dimitri had just shattered her mask.

Claude dropped down onto their blanket before she could answer. “What are you two talking about that has you looking so distressed?” He leaned in close to Byleth, trying to comfort her with his nearness.

Dimitri placed a hand on Claude’s shoulder, the pressure he exerted bringing the other man down to lay beside him, using Byleth’s other knee as a pillow. Her hand immediately began to play with Claude’s hair as well before she could even think about it. 

“We’ll try again tonight, beloved. We’ll try.”

Understanding flashed over Claude’s eyes. Even though Dimitri could not see Claude take Byleth’s hand and gently kiss the tips of her fingers due to his blind eye, he could feel Claude’s other hand hold take hold of his. “It’s fun to try anyways.”

Dimitri laughed and smiled up at Byleth. “See? What did I tell you?”

Byleth finally allowed herself a deep breath, the tension releasing from her shoulders. They stayed like that until Nader came over to tell them they had to get up or else they’d cause everyone to be late for dinner.

Dimitri’s concern came back when, after he found his feet again, he looked back to see Byleth still sitting with a hint of pain on her face. “Byleth, what’s wrong?”

Claude and he were immediately at her side, but Byleth just shook her head. “My legs are asleep,” she pouted.

Dimitri blinked. Claude snorted. Unable to hide his laughter, Claude shook his head and began to massage one of her legs. Dimitri joined him, rubbing feeling back into her other leg. Byleth winced, but allowed them to pamper her.

Dimitri suspected she had regained feeling in her legs again long before she told them she was fine. Not that he minded. Not at all.

[licenselesswriter]

From November to June CH2

December 24, 2017

- You sounded worried on the phone, what happened? - Maya asks her best friend.

Riley looks at her, trying to find something different, but fails after a few minutes.

- Honey? You're being weirder than other days - Maya says and Riley just move her knee to the side poses her arms on her leg.

- Are you dating Lucas? - Riley asks out of nowhere.

- This again? - Maya asks back, tired of the same question.

- Well, it's my right to ask about my best friend private life - Riley defends herself.

- No - Maya corrects her - That's your way to tell me that you saw Lucas being friendly with me, and since you're both not dating, you immediately assume that I'm dating him - Maya explains.

- Which is? - Riley asks.

- False - Maya says and blocks any thought that her best friend mind was playing in her mind.

- Then why? - Riley asks this time.

- I don't have time for this - Maya says and runs from Riley to her kitchen.

- Why not?! - Riley asks, raising her voice from her room while she follows Maya to the kitchen.

- Because we are 17, we have something called, I don't know, college to worry about - Maya lies, avoiding the real reason why she didn't have the time to deal with her best friend drama.

- What are you talking about, we are in the age of living and being worried about this kind of drama - Riley tries to argue.

- Yeah, you might be right, but we've been discussing the same guy since we were 13 - Maya argues back - Don't you think it's exhausting? I think it's exhausting - Maya finally says, trying to get Riley off her back with all the "Lucas thing".

- Ok, one question and I will stop - Riley says.

Maya finally gives her proper attention and put down her spoon and the pint of ice cream - Ok, what's your question? - she asks.

- If I didn't go to the UK, why Lucas doesn't want to continue our relationship? - Riley asks nervous, like the 13-year-old Riley that she assure she left behind.

- My poor sad deer - Maya says and hugs her best friend - The answer for that is probably time and timing - she answers.

- Explain - Riley says laying her head on her best friend shoulder.

- You had two break-ups, and for almost a year you both decide to be only friends, maybe what you both had stopped making sense, if not for you, at least for him - Maya explains and Riley look at her surprised.

- When did you turn into Gandalf? - Riley asks.

- You said one question - Maya remembers her with a soft smile - Also, it was when Galadriel sends Gwaihir looking for me when I became The White - Maya says, surprising Riley - And you can't ever tell Farkle that I read the stupid books he recommended to me or people will never find your body - she adds.

- You are the best Christmas present I can ever ask for - Riley says and hugs her tightly.

- Stick with me kiddo, I'm the best you could ever get - Maya replies opening the chocolate pint and starting to eat.

After a few minutes of eating ice cream, they moved back to Riley's room and Riley put Clueless on Netflix.

After 50 minutes of the movie, Riley was snoring hard. Maya looks at her and giggle. She pulls her phone from her back pocket and records Riley snore - This is gonna be money someday - she softly says to herself. She grabs the remote and turns off the TV. She looks at her friend sleep and covers her with the quilt she gave her last Christmas - Merry Christmas Honey - Maya softly says and put a kiss on her best friend hair.

She closes the door of Riley's room from the outside and walks down, where she finds Topanga cooking.

- Should I expect you tonight? - Topanga asks Maya.

The blonde beauty just hugs her - Even when I'm in Love with your food, Shawn is already cooking for us tonight - she says, surprising the matriarch of the Matthews.

- Shawn Hunter? Cooking? - she asks. and Maya only nods - Wow, he really Loves you and your mother - she jokes and Maya laughs at it - But I know him, so just in case, I will make a bit more for you three - she says and Maya hugs her again.

- Have I ever told you how much I appreciate having you in my life? - Maya asks her and Topanga kiss her forehead in the most maternal ways she had.

- A lot of times sweetie, but I will never get bored to hear it - she answers with a smile on her face before softly and playfully slaps Maya ass - Now go, by now, Shawn must already burn your kitchen - she adds making herself and Maya laugh.

Maya walks to the coat hanger and grabs her coat, she waves goodbye to Topanga and walks out the Matthews residence.

She takes her time with her way home, enjoying the city, still free from any responsibility, still being able to hide her pregnancy, and sadly, the pressure takes the best of her, forcing her to stop for a second to cry in silence. For 7 exact minutes, she cried in silence and alone while the snow keeps covering New York until she felt how someone sits next to her.

- To be honest, I totally suggest to cry under better weather - Cory says and puts his hand on Maya's back, making her cry harder and hide her face on his chest. After several minutes, they both were silent, until Cory finally breaks it - Care to tell me what happened? If you don’t, I'm gonna worry, like way too much for Christmas - she says and Maya get away from him, cleaning the tears on her cheeks.

- Nothing really important Matthews, just a really bad case of a broken heart - she partially lies to him.

- Josh, right? - he says and Maya vaguely nods - Trust me, I would love to have you as my sister in law, but he made his choice - Cory says keep caressing Maya's back.

- Didn't say he can't choose, I'm just mad that I wasn't the one he chooses - she replies.

Cory smiled, recognizing the growth in his student - Correct answer Miss Hunter - he says and Maya just let a blurt of laughter escape her mouth.

- Yeah? What did I win? - she asks.

Cory just put his hand on her head and mess with her hair - Well, if I'm not soon with this at home, you're probably not gonna have me as a teacher when the break ends, so I can treat you a cup of tea in the coffee shop around the corner - he says getting up.

- The one you and your wife own? That's cheap, even for you Matthews - Maya says with a smirk on her face.

- That's the Maya I usually see - Cory replies with a smile on his face. They walk for a bit and get inside Topanga's - Let me guess, Cappuccino with lots of whipped cream? - Cory asks, Maya softly nods, and unconsciously put her hand on her belly - Nah, today I'm in the mood for some chamomile tea - Maya answers and Cory take the whipped cream and attempt to put it back in the fridge - Leave the cream Matthews - she says without even look at him.

Cory just obeys her.

15 minutes later, they both leave Topanga's, they didn't say anything to each other while they enjoy the hot beverages they had, and for some reason, Maya found it comforting.

Maya walks back to her place, and unlike popular belief, his house didn't smell like a burnt dinner.

She opens the front door and takes off her coat.

- Hey Kiddo - Shawn greets her while she cleans his hands with an oven towel.

- Hey Shawn - Maya greets back and put a kiss on his cheek - Mom? -she asks him.

- Went for the dessert - Shawn answers walking back into the kitchen - What did Riley want? - he asks, starting to smash the potatoes he had in a pot.

- Another Lucas Crisis - Maya replies walking into the kitchen - Anything I can do to help? - she asks.

Shawn smile - Yeah, can you pass me the butter, cream cheese and the half and half please - he says while he keeps mashing the potatoes.

Maya pick the ingredients from the fridge and surprised by his cooking skills can't avoid the obvious question - Remember the day I met you? - she asks.

Shawn nods and giggles a bit - Yeah, yeah, Christmas 2014, right? - he says and Maya smile for him remembering that day.

- That day you said you didn't get a lot of home cook meals - she says feeling how her mouth starts to water from the smell of the turkey.

- Yeah, what's with that? - Shawn asks and takes the cream cheese and the butter and start to mix them on low heat with the mashed potatoes.

- Seriously? - Maya says - How can you cook like this and not getting home cook meals every day? - she asks.

- You mistake my cooking skills with my laziness - Shawn explained - Why take all this time to cook for one person when you can survive on Quesadillas and Pepsi? - he asks back.

Maya looked at him a bit in shock - Sometimes it scares me how much alike we are - she answers.

They both stop for a second when they hear a set of keys unlock the door. Maya went to help her mother with the dessert when she was stopped by her voice.

- Thank you, Lucas - she says to the Texan boy.

- It's nothing, Mrs. Hunter - Lucas replies walking into the kitchen.

- “Back to you”? - Maya greets him surprised to see him there.

- “Back to you”? – Shawn asks her.

- It’s our thing now – Maya fastly answers, before putting her attention back on her Mother and Lucas.

- Hey Maya, Mr. Hunter - Lucas greets her and Shawn, putting the bags on the counter.

- What you're doing here “Back to you”? - Maya asks while her mother gives Lucas something wrapped and walks next to Shawn.

- Hey baby girl - Katy says and put a kiss on her daughter's hair and then walks to Shawn and put a kiss on his lips - That smells delicious Mr. Hunter - she says and Shawn smile.

- Anything fo' ma' wife - Shawn replies while Maya takes Lucas to the living room.

- So, what you're doing here? - she asks him again.

- Relax, just came to deliver something before my flight to Texas - he defends himself and gives Maya the gift that Katy previously give back to him.

- You don't need to do this - Maya says and pulls him from his shirt collar to get him really close - I get it, you care about me and what's inside me, but you don't need to do charity work with me - she adds.

Lucas let a long sigh, he was really tired of Maya being unable to trust anyone besides Riley - This is not charity, this is Patrick - he jokes. Maya just punch his shoulder with half of her strength, surprising him - Ok, bad moment to make a joke - he says putting a few feet between them - Anyways, not charity Maya, just friendship, if you don't believe me, ask Farkle, Riley, and Smackle - he listed their friends - They get presents too - he says and get close to her again - Also, this has nothing to be with that situation - he adds and takes a quick look at her belly.

- You need to go - Maya says and starts to push Lucas to the door.

- Ok, ok - he says and stops her - Mr. Hunter Mrs. Hunter, have a merry Christmas - he says leaving the Hunter family apartment.

More than 9 hours later, when all the food was over and presents starts to show, Maya, take a short trip to her room.

She's been grateful for having Shawn on her life, and she was more than open to put her talent to show it - Hey Shawn - Maya calls her adoptive Father from her room - Care to help me a bit? - she asks when she was carrying a wrapped paint.

- Yes, sorry - Shawn apologizes for not noticing the size of what she was carrying.

Shawn finally takes it to the living room and Maya stood in front of her gift.

- Well, this is one of my happiest memories, and I hope it's one of your happiest too - she says and steps away from the gift.

- Thanks, kiddo - Shawn says and fastly unwrapped the painting - My God - he says and covers his mouth with his hand, then he moves to the side and show the painting to his wife, who had the same reaction.

- Baby girl - Katy says looking at the painting that was a vivid painting of the first dance Katy and Shawn had as Husband and Wife.

Shawn gets up and hugs Maya, visibly moved - Thank you, this is the second-best gift you ever gave me - he says and Maya looks at him a bit confused.

- Really? What did I get you last Christmas that this can't top's it? - she asks.

Shawn laughs and Katy stood next to him, fastly being hugged by him - You let me go on a date with your Mother - he answers, making both women cry.

Around 30 minutes later, Maya went to bed, happy, knowing that no matter what happened, she can always count with Shawn. She fastly changes clothes and put on her nightgown and then she notices that Lucas gift was on her bed.

- Ok “Back to you”, let's see what you get me - she says and softly sits on her bed. She takes her time and delicately unwraps the paper on Lucas gift, only to see the very professional, and very expensive, painting palette she wanted for her birthday, also with a complete set of 24 oil paints. She smiles with pure joy and opens the box of oil paints and a note fall into the floor. She picked it up and recognize his handwriting "Keep painting, will help you with the stress" she reads in silence - Sap - she says before putting the sets on her desk.

[carolynpetit]

198X and Being Players in a Dangerous Time

NOTE: This piece describes 198X in detail. I encourage you to play the game yourself. It’s currently available on Steam and PS4, costs $10, and takes about 90 minutes to play.

-----

There’s a song I love by the Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn called “Lovers in a Dangerous Time.” To me, the song is about how the things we might take for granted as a normal part of our lives most of the time can feel frivolous or wasteful in times of great crisis, yet it’s also in those difficult times that we may need those things the most. I mean, how can you go on a romantic getaway when immigrants are being held in nightmarish conditions in concentration camps here in the United States? But on the other hand, isn’t it in these times that we most need to be reminded of our own humanity, the humanity of others, and why a better world is worth fighting for?

When you're lovers in a dangerous time Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime  Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight  Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

Personally, I often find that many video games, movies, television shows and other types of art that I normally enjoy begin to feel hollow and indulgent when I can’t escape the awareness that moral atrocities are being committed by my own government. However, it’s also true that such times are precisely when art that cuts through the crap and makes me feel something deep and genuine is more vital and necessary than ever. 

Twin Peaks: The Return was essential to me during the first year under Trump, not for being the most “woke” thing on TV (it wasn’t) but for being such a strange and uncompromising show that watching it felt like being blasted with a high-pressure water cannon that washed away the cynicism I’d cloaked myself in as a way of enduring the horrors of the week. On one episode, David Lynch’s own character, FBI agent Gordon Cole, tells chief of staff Denise Bryson, a transgender woman, that he told the agency men who didn’t accept her to “fix their hearts or die,” and there was the show itself, each week, working its own magic to fix my heart, to keep me human in dehumanizing times. 

For me, the new video game 198X enters this same category; it’s one of those rare and urgent works that does what we most need art to do when we most need art to do it. In 198X’s launch trailer, we see footage of games from an assortment of genres as the protagonist, Kid, says, “This is not just a beat ‘em up. This is not just a shoot ‘em up. This is not just a racing game. This is not just a ninja game. This is not just an RPG.” This trailer got me fired up for the game because I felt as if I knew exactly what Kid meant. When I was a kid myself, back in the years of 198X, games were much more to me than what they may have appeared to be on the surface. In my desperation to escape from anguish both internal and external--the pain of gender dysphoria, a home racked by alcoholism and instability--I could turn even a simple, tedious game like Capcom’s run-and-gun Commando, one of the few NES cartridges we owned, into a valiant struggle to triumph over the forces that threatened to swallow me whole. 

Like me, Kid is an expert at finding deeper meaning in the space between themselves and the game. And it only makes sense, since like me, Kid has a need for escape, and a need for meaning. 198X avoids the use of any gendered pronouns for Kid--the only voice we hear throughout the game is Kid’s own, as they narrate their own story--but I believe Kid might be trans or genderqueer. At least, in the absence of the game asserting otherwise, this is my headcanon. I have to admit, seeing a character like Kid in a game still feels like coming across an oasis in a desert. Such representation is so rare, and so precious to me, that it feels life-giving. Brilliantly delivered by Maya Tuttle, Kid’s narration offers us tremendous insight into who they are, even as they remain a fiercely guarded individual. During one of the game’s many gorgeous pixel art interludes, Kid reminisces about how they used to frequent a nearby video store with their father. “But then, we didn’t go there anymore,” Kid says, hinting at some undefined strife that has driven their family apart. “It was no big deal,” Kid says, revealing just what a huge deal it was.

198X’s narrative offers little in the way of specifics, and to me, this only makes it stronger. It asks us to identify with Kid as a player, to feel the games the way that they do and to understand how those games might take on a meaning that reaches beyond the basement arcade that becomes Kid’s refuge. When you start 198X, you’re immediately thrown into Kid’s experience as a player. The first thing you see is an intro sequence and title screen for Beating Heart, a beat ‘em up released in the year 198X. You hear the sound of a quarter sliding into the machine, and then it begins, you’re playing, controlling a brawler in a red hoodie--Kid’s signature color--clobbering an assortment of punks who are out to stop you for reasons that are never explained. They don’t need to be. Kid feels antagonized by the world. Fighting just to survive. That’s why the act of defeating the people who stand in Kid’s way is meaningful. 

198X is a game about how games can mean more to us. If it didn’t let the games that Kid plays within it make their own kind of meaning, unfettered by story specifics, it would undercut its own effectiveness. Unlike so many pixel art games that play as homages to the past and simply want to replicate and capitalize on our memories, 198X is interested in commenting on them, in exploring just what our experiences with the games of the past may have meant to us. Stories in games back then were routinely disposable but that doesn’t mean that the games didn’t mean anything. They did. Through their imagery and music and the way they made us feel, they took on all kinds of meaning, offering places where those of us who felt like losers could be heroes, where those of us who never felt like we fit in here in the real world could belong, could be wanted, could be needed.

Thankfully, 198X prioritizes emotional truth over historical accuracy, allowing the games that you play as Kid to do things that real arcade games of the 1980s never did. After playing Beating Heart for several minutes, making your way out of a subway station and onto a city street, something surprising happens: the camera pans up and away from our hoodied hero to take in an unreachable skyline in the distance. Beating Heart fades out, and it’s only then that we first see Kid, alone in their room in their suburban home, a city in the distance representing all the freedom and possibility that Kid dreams of, but it may as well be a million miles away, for all the good it does them. 

Unable to achieve that kind of escape, Kid finds a different kind at the local arcade, telling us, “In front of these machines stood some of the coolest uncool people I had ever seen. They were the freaks, the geeks, the misfits, the outcasts, the real rebels, part of something the outside world could not understand, or even knew existed.” Is that the kind of narration some people might find cheesy? You’re damn right it is, and thank goodness for it. I have no patience right now for irony. Give me something earnest, sincere and openhearted. Kid may be emotionally guarded but 198X wears its heart on its sleeve and I am here for it. 

My favorite moment in 198X comes a bit later, after Kid reveals their crush on a girl at their high school. “Oh, man, that girl was born a rebel, free to go wherever she wanted to,” Kid says as we see their crush peel out of the high school parking lot in a black sports car, leaving Kid quite literally in the dust. “Free in a way I could still only dream of,” Kid says, and instantly we’re presented with the title screen of 198X’s driving game, The Runaway, which begins with a black sports car speeding off into the distance, leaving Kid’s car, your car, a red sports car in the foreground, pursuing the driver of the black car and the freedom that she represents. 

The Runaway’s most direct reference point is probably Sega’s 1986 racer OutRun (one of the best games of all time, as I talk about in this video), but OutRun offers an escape. In The Runaway, Kid can’t quite get away from reality. You make your way from a barren desert to the outskirts of a city, and Kid begins to speak, completely blurring the already thin lines between their real life and their experiences with the games at the arcade. “Nothing could beat the rush of the highway,” Kid says. “The speeding cars reminding me that there was a way out, a road to somewhere, the city on the horizon. I’d drive all night to get to that place,” Kid says with their characteristic guarded longing, and just then, a soaring, yearning guitar screams above the ambient synth soundscape, sending chills down my spine. So often in the games of the 1980s, music was where emotional complexity could flourish, even when the narrative was just a flimsy excuse for you to run through deathtrap-laden levels and blast killer robots, and 198X’s score is consistently up to the task of capturing the heightened emotion of the period’s best video game music, but what it does here is special, even by those lofty standards.

It’s a piercing, perfectly calibrated moment, but it’s not the last of The Runaway’s surprises. You make it to a bridge, speeding past highway signs that indicate you’re getting closer and closer to the city as Kid talks about how the games at the arcade have changed their life. “Down here, I was free. I was in control. No one told me where to go or what to do. The only bad part about it was having to come back up to the real world.” Just then, you run out of time. Your car slows to a stop. All the other cars speed on, bound for the city, but for you, it remains out of reach. And isn’t that just how it feels sometimes, like there are freedoms that others enjoy, that elude you, no matter what? It is for me, anyway.

The final game you play as Kid in 198X is called Kill Screen. A rudimentary first-person sci-fi RPG of sorts, it has no analog in the actual arcade games of the 1980s, so far as I’m aware, but that doesn’t matter. 198X is an emotional journey, not a historical one. In Kill Screen, you must slay three dragons, all the while taunted by an artificial intelligence known as Motherboard, clearly a stand-in for Kid’s own mother, or at least for the ways in which Kid has come to see their mother as a symbol for all the ways in which they’re trapped. It’s here in Kill Screen that 198X takes its only real missteps. Among Motherboard’s taunts are some statements that feel too plain and standard to evoke the intensity of Kid’s struggle. Sure, when a parent fails to connect with you as a person, even comments like “DO YOUR HOMEWORK” and “DON’T STAY UP” can be painful reminders of the yawning distance between you and them, but in the context of 198X’s economical storytelling, these generic phrases fall flat. Other phrases hit harder, though. When Motherboard’s cold robotic voice intones the words “YOU ARE ERROR,” a Zelda II reference that also pointedly encapsulates how I often felt in the world and how I imagine Kid does as well, I laughed, but it stung a little, too. As I triumphed over the challenges of the dungeon, Motherboard resorted to merely repeating “HELP HELP HELP,” and I felt that Kid’s mom was almost certainly hurting in her own way, unsure of how to connect with her child, the two of them talking past each other, neither sure how to close the gap.

What does Kid’s defeat of Motherboard actually mean? Where does Kid go from here? I don’t know, and I’m glad the game doesn’t try to spell it out. All I know is that there are still possibilities in Kid’s life, just as there are still possibilities in mine, and that games can mean something valuable and real, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart. 

I don’t expect 198X to work on everybody the way it worked on me. After all, it’s a game about how deeply personal our experiences with games can be, how games can take on larger meanings in the context of what’s happening in our own lives. We take our life experiences into the games with us--Kid’s ambiguous gender identity, for instance, is hugely meaningful to me, in ways it may not be to others--and we take the meaning we find in the space between ourselves and the games we play back into our lives. 198X doesn’t just understand that; it captures what it is to find the kind of meaning you so desperately need in a game right when when you so desperately need it, and god, do I need it now. This is one of the best games of the year.

-----

Thank you for reading. Please consider supporting me on ko-fi. I could really use the help right now.

[mayaparker]

@rydenbolt, @scarlettxruby & Maya continue their catching up after leaving the Autumn Festival

Part II

Ruby had caught up to Ryden a fair ways back, not saying anything as the two wolves followed their friend. As they neared the apartment, Ruby frowned. A familiar smell drifted her way. “Shit.” She touched Ryden’s arm. “That’s them.” She indicated the man Maya was fast approaching.

Maya kept walking without turning back. She knew that they were following her, but now she was well tuned to people following her. A few blocks from her apartment she spotted another one of the cult members. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” she cursed. Angry and scared as she felt, Maya marched right up to him. He was a fair bit bigger and stronger than her with a build somewhat like Ryden’s. “What the fuck is your fucking plan?” she shouted, “That you stalk me for three months and then I’ll go fulfill my destiny? Newsflash, that’s a dumbass plan.” The cult member’s lips curled into an amused smile. Sick of everything, and having worked herself up more on the walk, Maya gave in and socked him across the jaw. The crunch of contact was followed immediately by her cursing. It had probably hurt her hand more than him.

Ryden followed, because hey, he would be crashing at her place for a few nights anyway and he had a key so whatever. He kept his step in line with Ruby’s, making sure not to lose Maya from his sight either. When Ruby stopped him to point out a man standing in wait near Maya’s place, he looked over there, turning the fight mode on instantly. “What the loving fuck is she doing…” He grumbled as he quickened his pace, moving over to back Maya up in her stupid idea to confront her stalker. No excuse me am I interrupting, Ryden caught the punched man by the collar, flattening him against a wall. “You followin’ this girl, mate?”

It hadn’t been a good idea, as evidenced by Maya’s now throbbing hand. But she was pissed and she wasn’t thinking very clearly either. She jumped a little when Ryden stormed up from behind her to smash the man against the wall. For his part, the cult member showed his neck, but still smiled, “I ain’t following her, man.”

“Fuckin’ dumbass,” Ruby cursed as she watched Maya swing at the man. She followed at Ryden’s back, her own hackles raised as she stopped behind Maya as Ryden pushed forwards and grabbed the guy. There was movement on both sides, and Ruby saw four more figures step out into the light of the streetlamps. They kept their distance, but Ruby recognized at least two of them. One of which was the woman she’d put on her back at that party. Ruby growled at the woman, who merely smirked. “Your four fuckin’ tag alongs not followin’ her either?” Ruby asked, turning to face to the wolves on the street, but staying where she was.

Ryden clicked his tongue angrily, tightening his grip on the man he had pinned. The man choked, clawing at Ryden’s hands as his windpipe closed up under the pressure. His attempt to fight it was violent at first but Ryden’s tight grip on him was too effective. He’d passed out in mere seconds. Size had nothing to do with it when you’re up against super strength. Ryden let him fall to the ground and turned to face the other stalkers, jutting his chin out defiantly. The woman Ruby had gotten into a fight with took a surprised step back. She was muttering something at first but then she spoke louder, so her posse could overhear. “The Child of Cerberus…. He Who Will Eat the Sun.” Others balked, following her in her creepy religious chant of these ominous words. Ryden stood frozen for a second, feeling a familiar sort of dread creeping up on him. The three who’d ambushed them seemed ready to scatter. Ryden had other plans for them though. “No…” With that whispered out, he bolted after them.

Maya watched as Ryden choked the man. She couldn’t quite bring herself to feel bad. Her attention though was drawn by Ruby speaking and Hermes barking. The husky had placed himself between Maya and the posse in the alley. “What the fuck?” Maya muttered to herself when the muttered words reached her too. She felt cold dread slip down her spine. “Ryden,” she called out as he chased after them. She wanted to follow, to fight as well. But even dumb as she could be, she knew that she would only be a liability in that fight. She’d already bruised her hand. The safest thing for her to do was go back to her well warded apartment. So she sprinted, hoping against hope that Ryden and Ruby would join her there when the fight was over.

Ruby didn’t intervene. She could care less if Ryden choked the life out of the man. Or worse. Her buzz was fading as adrenaline rushed through her, and the pack mentality started to set in. Ruby stepped up beside Ryden as he moved to face the others, but when the chanting started, Ruby was confused. She vaguely recognized the names they were chanting, but what did that have to do with Ryden? Or Maya? “Go inside,” Ruby told Maya. There was no asking this time. No Ruby being nice. Especially as whatever they said seemed to hit a nerve in Ryden, unsettling him and sending him bolting after them. Ruby followed after a look back at Maya.

The first one Ryden had gotten to was the woman who started the creepy chants. She creamed when he grabbed her, out of some genuine fear. But once he got a hold of her, he didn’t know what to do with her. The others were getting away and he wouldn’t be able to get to them in time. He wasn’t sure why he had to stop them from escaping. He just knew he had to. He had a feeling they’d run off and tattle on him. To whom, though? Ryden suppressed a shiver as the woman fell limp in his grasp, sobbing her eyes out, like she was facing her death. He let her drop to the ground and she crawled away from him feebly, even though he did nothing to hurt her. “What the fuck were you sayin’ back there?” He asked, dazed and confused by her behavior.

Only once she and Hermes were behind a locked door did Maya stop running. She took a second to catch her breath. Part of her just wanted to scream. Instead, she popped open an already half empty bottle of whiskey and started drinking. She ignored her throbbing hand, just wanting to forget this whole night.

Ryden headed after the woman, so Ruby took the opposite direction, after the two men that had sprinted in mostly the same direction. She didn't know what was going on, or why these fuckers seemed to know who Ryden was too... or thought they knew... but nothing about it sat well with Ruby. When she finally ran the first man down, he looked over his shoulder and seemed to frown. When he saw it was Ruby, he slowed and then stopped. Before turning to face her. He barely paused before he was running at her, teeth sharp and half-shifted. Ruby didn't slow up. The man leapt at her, and Ruby side-stepped him, hitting him across the back of head with the side of her hand. He fell in a heap, out cold. The second man rushed her from behind, wrapping a wire around her neck and pulling it taut as he tried to lift her off her feet. Ruby struggled briefly, but then reached up and grabbed his wrist, and like TUah had taught her, flipped the man over her shoulder and onto his back on the pavement. She put her knee on his chest and her hand around her throat. "Why were you waitin' on my friend?" Ruby growled. The man merely grinned, much as the first one had.

Ryden's head whipped around at the first signs of struggle from the direction Ruby went off in. He was facing a human and the man he strangled was also human. But Ruby was facing two werewolves it seemed. "Fuck!" He turned away from the cowering woman, who had taken this opportunity to scuttle away and ran off to Ruby's aid. Yes, Ryden could choke a guy out of his consciousness and hurt a motherfucker pretty bad, but he wasn't a killer. And he couldn't exactly keep all of these people locked up in a basement because he was afraid they would run off to report to the Man in Black. But, and he could swear on it, this smelled like that prick's doing. Directly or indirectly. 'Child of Cerberus' rang too many alarm bells in Ryden's head. When he'd gotten to where Ruby was, she was already in control.

Ruby looked up when she heard Ryden approaching, but didn't remove her hand from the man's neck. Ruby was no killer either, unless absolutely necessary. She, however, could keep these fuckers locked up if needed. She had the authority to do it. "You listen to me, and you listen good," she told the man on the ground. "You tell me what all that chantin' meant, and you tell me now, or you'll be goin' down to the station in cuffs. I got a slew of charges just waitin' to be slapped on your record. How's that sound?" The man looked at Ruby like she was bluffing, then looked at Ryden. That was when the fear returned.

 Ryden tilted his head curiously at the 180 the man did the moment he'd noticed him standing there. He hated this feeling of not knowing what's exactly going on but every hunch he had was a bad one. He brought himself closer, crouching where Ruby kept the man down. He'd stopped struggling altogether, shrinking into himself and away from Ryden's penetrating gaze. "The lady asked you a question." He prompted and the man's eyes bounced nervously from him to Ruby. "We were told to follow the destined one. We didn't know a Child of Cerberus was here. That's what you are, right? One of His children? Bathed in the blood of hell. Our fate is to rule the world!" He fell into a fanatic's fever, trembling with it under Ruby's hold.

Ruby tightened her grip on the man's neck until he started talking. She glanced at Ryden as the wolf repeated the same phrase -the same name - that Ruby had heard the woman say. "Who told you to follow her?" Ruby asked. "And why do you think he's one of these... children?" she asked about Ryden. The man started to tremble and shake after that, and Ruby loosened her hold slightly. "Fuckin' religious bullshit," she said. "I say we tie him up and call Maya's mom," Ruby suggested as the man slid into a trembling stupor. "She's got head magic. Find out what he won't tell us."

 "I don't wanna git more people involved..." Ryden muttered but then, out of a corner of his eye, he noticed the man Ruby had incapacitated earlier creeping up on them, aiming at Ruby with some kind of a pipe or a bat he'd found. Ryden's reaction was quick and the moment he stood up to fend the attack off, the guy dropped the pipe and sprinted off. The man Ruby held down took a chance to twist around a bit and snap his teeth over Ruby's wrist, hurt enough to surprise her and loosen her grip. With preternatural dexterity and speed, he was out of reach within seconds. "GOD FUCKIN' DAMMIT!" Ryden growled out his frustration. He got careless.

Ruby nodded, not arguing with Ryden's decision. Though she was certainly gonna be asking some questions of her own. Maybe not tonight. But eventually. The next few moments happened so quickly that Ruby barely had time to do anything but make a ill-fated grab at the man who bit her and roll to her feet. But they were both gone. Leaving Ruby and Ryden alone in the dirty alleyway. Flexing her bleeding wrist - which was already healing - Ruby moved towards Ryden. She touched his arm. "You hurt?" was all she wanted to know right then. The rest could come in a bit. Once they were back at Maya's. She didn't flinch or back away as he growled, the sound echoing off the buildings nearby, but merely watched him closely, ears tuned to the other sounds around them, in case anyone tried to come back.

 "Of fuckin' course not, the only ones who do in these situations are either you or Maya." He snapped back angrily, but the anger wasn't reserved for either of them. Ryden was mad at himself. He always managed to put them both in danger and when shit hit the fan, the only person he could end up protecting was apparently himself. "Fuck..." He cussed again, this time more softly. "Let's go."

Ruby knew better than to argue with Ryden even though she told him she was alright. Which she was. And she knew he wasn't mad at her or Maya. If anything he was mad at himself. Which might've been worse. Anger like that made people do foolish things, irrational things. She brushed against him in a silent show of support and solidarity as they headed back towards Mayas place. Nothing bothered them on the way there, and both were lost in their own thoughts it seemed. Ruby hoped Maya had made a good choice and stayed put this time.

[hirakdesherrani]

EBSS 24-28 June:

Okay, first off, I just have to hand it to the writers for covering so much ground in a span of 5 episodes. Was it rushed? Yes, for sure. But it was so, so good. Not on a single count of writing, did I feel dissatisfied. Star Plus has been ruthless, ordering a revamp so soon (ram jaane what trp they expected on this slot, esp. during the WC), but writers did an incredible job under so much pressure.👏 Its been a while I’ve been so impressed with the writing of a show, and I’m not going to stop gushing about it so soon. 

Anyways, here are some scattered thoughts:

What a longgggg, and exhausting day it has been for Kabir, from parting with his wife and son, to finding out that his Dad is a shitty human being, to saving his Dad from burning to ashes, to finding himself and his family homeless, boy has been having a tough time, all within 24 hours. 😓

Initially, I was mighty annoyed that instead of giving us Kabir v/s Jahnvi, they started with the good bahu v/s bad bahu crap. Though happy about the revamp, I was curious about how will the writers manage to bring Kabir into the picture? And they did it quite smoothly. So, obviously good bahu Kavya has to poke her nose everywhere, but of course, Jahnvi can’t have that. So, she gets her out of the way, without doing anything really, because Kavya, like an idiot, has to stalk Jahnvi. Toh ab bhugto. I ain’t feeling bad for that girl. 😈

A lot of people felt it was wrong on Jahnvi’s part to frame Kavya, esp. considering she has been shown so concerned for Aarush. But the thing is, Jahnvi prizes her revenge above everything else, so it was obvious from the start, that Aarush would get hurt somewhere down the line. Will Jahnvi regret it in future? That remains to be seen. 

Coming back, by framing Kavya, the writers managed to involve Kabir as well as, provide a dignified exit for Kavya. I loved the parting scene of Kabir-Kavya, surprisingly really, that by the time I like them, its too late. What I liked most, was Kabir insisting on leaving the house with Kavya, with their heads held high. Kavya already has the reassurance that Kabir trusts her, but Kabir didn’t want Kavya’s departure from the house under a cloud of accusation. He was so concerned for her respect. And that has made Kabir my most favorite male lead in the last five years, right after Asad. I just love male leads who can take a stand for females. Especially, in this case, because Kabir isn’t in love with Kavya, but he knows his duties as a husband, and friend. 😍

Kavya’s departure also seemed sensible. Even without Jahnvi framing her, PK didn’t lose an opportunity to humiliate her. The kind of asshole he is, I don’t ever see PK accepting Kavya. I’m glad she actually moved away from the shitty Mittal household, more so for Aarush, at least bachcha bach gaya. But I’ll miss baby Aarush. 😔

Now that his wife and friend was framed, obviously Kabir has to investigate, and it was the most natural transition from Kavya to Kabir as the protagonist (like it should have been from the start). I just loved how Kabir proceeded with it. The investigation, esp. the scene where he fools Amma with the microchip, was so sleek. The writers remembered that he’s a special agent, and I do assure you, its a rarity by ITV standards. 

Another thing I’d like to highlight is that Kabir doesn’t lose his head through allllllll the shit that’s been happening. Why? Obviously, because he is an army man, and they are trained to deal with pressurized situations. The writers underlined this fact very subtly, I don’t even know if viewers caught on. After all that has transpired, Kabir was still being patient and  composed when he was talking to Pooja. 

Which brings me to Jahnvi/Pooja.....I love her so much. I think the best thing about Jahnvi is that she is so unforgiving. YAS! We need more female characters, esp. female leads who are unforgiving. Tellywood has innumerable times reinforced this idea of a kind and forgiving, farmabaddar, female lead. After Maya (of Beyhadh), thankfully this trend is changing. I am so, so glad that Jahnvi tried to immolate PK, and even gladder of the fact, that not just the perpetrators, but she punished junior Mittals too, in a way. It might seem unfair, but c’mon, they are grown up, educated adults who had a good childhood, and they can fend for themselves, unlike Pooja and Rani who lost their father, their childhood, and would have suffered a worse fate if Amma had not adopted them. Bless Amma, one of the best parental figures in ITV rn. 🤧

Was Jahnvi’s plan rushed? Hella yes. But there are two things here, first with Manohar, and then Kavya/Kabir, Pooja has had two close shaves. Even if she framed Kavya, Kabir was sure to find the truth. So, obviously she had to expedite her plan. Secondly, Jahnvi has been working on her plan for at least two years, I’m presuming, entering PK’s company as an employee, gaining his favor and trust on her skills over even his own son, then marrying into the family and gaining their trust. For the audience, the show is only two months old, but from the point where the show started, Jahnvi has already spent quite a few years reaching up till this stage, so she can’t delay anymore, especially with the chances of her cover being blown increasing. 

The plan seemed too simple, but the thing is, PK was going to read the papers. For Jahnvi to avoid that, she needed two things, his unflinching trust, which she had gained over the years, and second, a pressure situation, where he can be distracted easily. I’d say finding out about a supposed arch enemy, threatening your rebellious son, and your Dad being paralyzed post a heart attack, can be pretty stressful.

Obviously Jahnvi could have lured him to a shady place and burnt him long ago, but she needed to ruin him and his family completely. So, getting the papers signed was a priority. 

I think this is where the best part comes. OUFFFF Shrenu was so good in the scene burning down that house. The transition from pain and hurt, to resolve and anger, and deathly calm after she did the act. Terrific! 🔥 In the same episode, Zain and Ayub were great too.

Kabir’s motivations are so clear. He is the good cop, upholding what is right and just. Obviously he saved his Dad, because he is a son after all, but right next moment he threatened his father, in a non-negotiable tone, that he better surrender himself to the law. 

And here we have the clash of values. While Pooja follows her own law, i.e. Hammurabi’s code of eye for an eye, Kabir staunchly believes in law and justice. I really liked that he restrained Dhruv, when Pooja ridiculed him, because he understood Pooja’s motivations and maybe even sympathized with her on some level. 

It was a little thick of PK to shout at Dhruv and blame him for marrying Jahnvi, when he was the one who trusted Jahnvi the most in the family, and even ridiculed his son, and thanked the stars that his son was lucky enough to marry someone like Jahnvi. Hmpf.

About Dhruv’s actions, I’ve already mentioned in another post, so moving on to Pooja. I am so glad that she broke off the relationship. Why was it surprising to anyone that she had never married him for real? I thought it was obvious. I mean, she wasn’t going to really marry a guy, in the legal sense, for the sake of revenge. That too, the son of her enemy. I was so glad when she said, “Mere kareeb aane ki koshish mat karna”. Throughout the two months of the show, they’ve shown us Jahnvi’s discomfort when Dhruv comes near, even though she did feel guilty sometimes about using him. Imagine her relief to be finally rid of him. Agreed, she should not have ridiculed him like that, but there is no polite way of telling a person that “you are a dumbfuck and I used you for my revenge.” What annoyed me were the reactions on Twitter condemning Pooja for humiliating Dhruv, and insisting that JanRuv should be endgame, because ‘Dhruv loves her so much’. I mean, what sort of shitty male entitlement is this? More so, because it is propagated by female stans. 

Anyways, coming back to the climax of this drama, SHRENU WAS PHENOMENAL. The transition from rage to mockery to a business-like voice telling the shitty Mitals to gtfo was so well done.👏 Esp. the moment, when she drills into their heads that ‘folks, that car ain’t yours, leave it’, I cackled so bad! 😂

I absolutely loved this week’s episodes. Only thing is, Imma gonna miss my shady Jahnvi Mittal. Shrenu was at her best with her micro-expressions and transitions, and I’ve never seen a more perfect casting on Star Plus in the past few years. No one else, and I mean it, no other actress on ITV rn can play Jahnvi Mittal, cuz no one has the calibre of micro-expressions that Shrenu does. 💜

But I’m ready for the open fight. Zain was so good this week, this show finally giving him what he’s capable of. Bring it on! 

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 1x12/1x13 We Are Grounders (Part 1&Part 2)

So I’ve come to the end of my rewatch of season 1. (The season 2 opener post will come soon. I’ve already rewatched it.) Overall my opinions on the quality of the season haven’t changed much, though I did like some episodes more and some episodes less this time. It was, however, interesting to see how much foreshadowing there was of later events and how many moments later got callbacks and parallels in later seasons. 

I’ve also tried to now keep track of the timeline and body count in every episode...but I’m now starting to realize, after how confusing the numbers got in 1x11 and in these two episodes, that I’ve probably given it much more thought than the writers ever did. In the end, I had to look up The 100 wiki – but it seems just as confused as I am.

Back when I first binged the show, some 7 months ago, I was posting about it on SpoilerTV in the daily discussion threads. Sometimes I wrote just a few lines, but about this two-parter, I wrote a very detailed post - and I wish I had posted it on Tumblr, too. Maybe I’ll dig it up and post it as an annex or something.  Funny thing, before that, after 1x11, I made my list of predictions for the two-part finale, and all of them turned out to be true. I liked it anyway - predicting things isn’t always bad, it may mean that the storytelling is logical and that plot points were well foreshadowed. But it’s also one of the reasons why I didn’t find it as mind-blowing as the S2 one or S4 , or even S5 one. (But it’s certainly miles better than the S3 finale. Although that’s not saying much, since the latter was pretty anticlimactic and is one of my least favorite episodes.)

I’ve always felt that Part 1 was the stronger episode, and that hasn’t changed.

Ranking and ratings of season 1 episodes:

1x12 We Are Grounders part 1 - 10/10

1x13 We Are Grounders part 2 - 9/10

1x08 Day Trip - 9/10

1x10 I Am Become Death - 9/10

1x05 Twilight's Last Gleaming - 8.5/10

1x06 His Sister's Keeper - 8/10

1x03 Earth Kills - 8/10

1x11 The Calm - 8/10

1x04 Murphy's Law - 7/10

1x07 Contents Under Pressure - 6.5/10

1x09 Unity Day - 6/10

1x02 Earth Skills - 4.5/10

1x01 The Pilot - 4.5/10

 Season 1 overall - 7.54/10

Part 1

One of the few things I didn’t guess about this finale in advance was Ark coming down the way it did. It’s kind of funny that Kane tried to have a sacrificial redemptive death, but Jaha got there first, and had his best and most useful and most heroic moment ever… but then the show didn’t let Jaha have a redemptive death but let him live. And then he went on to make terrible mistakes and be an antagonist for at least 2 seasons, before having a morally grey (and most suited to his character) role in S4.

Every time someone tries to sacrifice themselves on The 100, they live on, and almost every time a major character has a big heroic moment, they are brought low the next season and make terrible mistakes and/or do antiheroic things. 

I like it whenever the show has a flashback of the life on the Ark or goes into the past in some other way. And it’s always nice to have another little reminder of the time when Wells used to exist for 3 episodes, which usually happens through his father’s memories or hallucinations. Here it’s Jaha watching an old video of Wells and Clarke, which helps him figure out the solution to how to bring the Ark to the ground.

And look at Jaha opening a 97 year old bottle of scotch, “The Baton” This bottle is almost a recurring character - doesn’t it also appear in the season 4 finale?

I remember that I Kane and Abby’s chemistry was so obvious in this episode, and their scenes so close and extremely friendly (what a contrast to where they started... like mother, like daughter?) that I made a comment that they seemed like they were going to start making out any moment, LOL. And I wasn’t even shipping them then, it was more like “Wait, is this going to be a thing now?” Well, I wasn’t wrong, it just took them 2 more seasons.

A few bullet points about things first mentioned in this episode: 

First appearance of Tristan, sent by Lexa, who tells Clarke “I’m the man sent to slaughter your people”. Well, at least no one can say the guy is not honest and straightforward. Also the first time we hear about the existence of “the Commander” and learn that Anya isn’t actually the leader of the Grounders. An interesting bit of trivia I’ve learned since is that the Commander was originally supposed to be a child. JRoth must be really In love with this idea, since he went back to it eventually with Madi.

First time we hear about and see the Reapers, and the scenes with them looked like something right out of a horror movie and was genuinely horrifying. Lincoln not answering Finn’s question what they are but simply saying “Pray you never find out” was, of course, a way to keep it a mystery for us a bit longer, but now we know it was really more about, pray you never get to become one, which happens with Lincoln in season 2, while Finn will unleash his inner monster in another way.

 First mention of Luna by name, though Lincoln had already talked about her people to Octavia earlier in the season. I wonder how much of her role was already planned in season 1. With all the Mount Weather mentions and other things like the acid fog, Lincoln’s drawings etc., it’s clear that the main arc of the first 2 seasons was planned since the beginning, with Grounders as secondary antagonists that the 100 mostly deal with in season 1, and the Mountain Men as the main villains, who will get focused on in season 2. But I’m not sure that this was the case with any of the season 3 arcs.

Lincoln finally explains why he is helping the 100 and that it’s not just about Octavia: “What my people are doing to your people isn’t right”. The same reason why Maya and the other rebels in MW will be helping the Delinquents in season 2. In the show where people too often justify their actions by “it was for my people”, it is great to have characters who prioritize what is right. 

And god, how good it feels to hear lines like that again. Maybe JRoth and the rest of the writers should have rewatched season 1 and remember the things that actually happened in their own show? Back when they still hadn’t gotten it into their heads that the 100 were somehow the bad guys in that scenario because they were desperately trying to survive after being forced to go to the ground (sent by the Arker leadership because the Arkers were going to die in space), and that Grounders were somehow the good guys for attacking and trying to kill them all for no reason but paranoia and prejudice?

Two big things that happen to Finn: he has a reaction to having directly  killed someone for the first time (even though it was a Reaper) and then made his big love declaration to Clarke- only to be rejected, in one of my favorite moments of season 1. I’ve always found Clarke’s reactions throughout that storyline and particularly in this scene really relatable - her feelings for him haven’t gone, but she was hurt and couldn’t trust him or go there again. “You broke my heart... I’m sorry. I can’t.” I always thought that she would never give him a chance again, and that, while the feelings were still there, she was slowly starting to move on and that, in any case, he was her past rather than her future, long before he killed a bunch of people and she had to mercy kill him. Overall, while I really didn’t like Finn/Clarke or Finn/Raven as relationships, the atypical way the C/F/R love triangle was resolved (both girls reject Finn, and become friends) was one of my favorite things about S1.

Finn’s line “I should have fought for you” always struck me as odd (that’s not exactly what I’d say was the problem: he should have been honest with her and told her he had a girlfriend, or then he should have been honest with Raven and told her the truth, he shouldn’t have been playing both of them, he should have made up his mind and been honest about it rather than waiting for Raven to dump him…), and I’m not sure what exactly he meant (fought against whom? Or did he just mean, been more decisive and not let passively wait for things to happen?) but I guess it reflects Finn’s state of mind? He was always trying to play a white knight, first to Raven on the Ark, then to Clarke. And in retrospect, this may be one of the first signs that of where he ends up in S2, when he becomes violent and obsessed with the idea that he’s going to find and save Clarke. But the show has never been fully clear on how much his mental state was PTSD due to war and fighting, and how much his increasingly unhealthy obsession with Clarke.

Speaking of saving Clarke, the fact that Bellamy was able to be very rational about the fact Clarke, Finn and Monty were missing and focus on protecting the camp rather than going on a rescue mission, as opposed to the way he acted in 3x02 when he learned Clarke was in danger and immediately got dressed as an Ice Nation warrior and went on his own behind enemy lines to rescue her, says a lot about how much Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke became stronger between the end of season 1 and beginning of season 3.

This was the episode when Bellamy definitely became one of my 2 favorite characters, with how he dealt with the Murphy situation, and showed what a leader he had become. (Which Jasper also recognized, verbally and with a big hug.) If I were to dig up my SpoilerTV post I wrote back then, you’d see a lot of very embarrassing fangirling over Bellamy. ;) 

This time I was able to focus more on Murphy’s motivations and characterization, which I didn’t think that much before.  When  Murphy is trying to taunt Bellamy - after putting a noose around his neck - saying things like “You think you’re so brave”, “You think you’re stronger than me” – I’m pretty sure that’s what Murphy thinks, deep inside. He has a deep inferiority complex. Which is exactly why he wanted revenge on Bellamy in such a way, hoping to see him afraid and brought low. He used to defer to Bellamy in the early days at the ground, so when Bellamy threw him to the wolves, then later tried to kill him in rage, exiled him and showed multiple times how little he respected him or cared for him (compared to, say, a little girl), that must have brought on a lot of resentment. But the whole “I know the truth, you’re a coward” thing would work better if it wasn’t in a situation where Bellamy was risking his life to save Jasper and actually being just as awesome as Murphy was trying to prove he wasn’t, so the whole revenge attempt was a huge, pathetic failure by Murphy. And Murphy going on about how he’s maybe now going to become the leader of the 100 after both “the princess” and “the king” die, now seems less like a villain’s threat, and more like empty bragging that he probably didn’t even believe in himself. He knows he’s not a leader type and he’s much better at making people hate him than follow him.

The speech Bellamy gives at the camp is impassioned and emotion-driven and gets the Delinquents full of passion to stay and fight – for a moment, until Clarke gives her short speech where she simply points out that they’re likely to die if they stay and convinces them to leave. This is a good example why and how the idea of Bellamy as “the Heart” and Clarke as “the Head” makes sense: it’s not that he is all emotion and can’t think rationally or that she’s emotionless – both of these things are obviously untrue – or that he’s always acting on emotion or that she’s always making her decisions rationally (there are plenty of examples of either of them doing the opposite), but it’s how they tend to approach leadership and decision-making and the arguments they used to appeal to people: his tend to be emotional, hers practical.

Part 2

 …And Clarke points that out to Bellamy when she convinces him to go with the others rather than stay on his own to fight, in one of her many pep talks to Bellamy about what a great leader he is. “You inspire them”. (She’ll tell him the same in the S4 finale.)

The Blake siblings scene was beautiful and emotional and one of my favorite scenes in season 1. But now, after that relationship got a lot more dysfunctional in the following seasons, I can’t help but notice that, while Bellamy takes back his statement from 1x06 that his life ended when Octavia was born, saying it was the opposite, Octavia never really took back her accusations that Bellamy was at fault for their mother dying and pretty much everything. (In the following seasons, Octavia will keep the tradition of always blaming Bellamy for everything ever. She does, however, tell him“I love you, big brother”.  I believe she says that two more times, in the S4 finale and the S5 finale. But in the latter, it understandably doesn’t get quite the same response.

And here we go again, Murphy is once more captured and tortured by the Grounders… how many times does Murphy get tortured or has other bad things happen to him during seasons 1-3?

Fans who like Finn more than I do have argued that he jumped in and saved Bellamy during the battle because they are comrades. But since he was earlier willing to let Bellamy stay behind and probably be killed, I think the main reason Finn did it was because Clarke was showing concern for Bellamy and upset about him potentially dying.

 My main problem with Part 2 was always the scene where Clarke has to pull the lever and close the dropship door, before Jasper incinerates everyone outside. Or rather specifically, the scene where she and Finn stare at each other for a couple of seconds during battle, with dramatic music and all, which was weird because he was pretty close by and it looked like she could have yelled at him to get inside, and he could have come inside, so I was never sure if the scene was just badly done, or if it was supposed to be deeply meaningful (Finn starting to lose it and desperate to prove himself as her hero? A reaction to her rejection? PTSD? All of that at once?) but it didn’t quite work because she looked frozen and emotional, but he was just kind of blankly staring at her… And I’m afraid I still don’t have no idea what the scene was supposed to be.

In any case, the entire thing with Clarke’s dramatic and heartbreaking choice to close to door on Finn and Bellamy to save the others should have felt more epic and had more weight, but it kind of does not. It happens quickly, and then there’s more focus on whether the Delinquent crowd will act inhumane and lynch a vastly outnumbered Anya. And, of course, there’s also the fact that I’m pretty sure no one in the audience ever thought Finn or Bellamy were actually dead. But at least the scene where Clarke goes outside and stares at two charred skeletons was good because you really felt what she must have been thinking.  

However, I love the parallel/contrast to this scene in the S5 finale, when Clarke keeps waiting for Bellamy to come inside the ship and doesn’t pull the lever to close the door (while Raven is hurrying her to do it, same as Miller was here).

The visual of the Ark coming down is beautiful - it looks like a ‘falling star’ - a callback to the earlier conversations about making a wish on a star.

Kane and Abby looking at the Earth together kinds of reminds me of Bellamy and Clarke watching the new planet in the S5 finale. (Except the former two at this point aren’t nearly as close to pull each other in an embrace.)

The ending with the Mountain Men is well done, but that was one of the things I predicted at the time: that the finale will mostly be about fighting Grounders, and then the Mountain Men will appear at the end, and they will be very technologically advanced. With so many mentions of them, it wasn’t hard to guess they had to be the S2 antagonists who appear at the very end of S1 in a cliffhanger - shows often do that. (I actually didn’t even make the Mount Weather connection, since I’m not from USA and had no idea what it was. But the mysterious Mountain Men had to be different from Grounders and Reapers, and the opposite of what you’d normally expect from people called ‘mountain men”. Which doesn’t mean it was not a good twist - it’s just hard to fully surprise fans like me who have watched so much TV .)

Timeline: I used to think season 1 lasted about a month, month and a half, but now it seems that it can’t be more than 3 weeks, at most. And even that’s a stretch.

We know for sure that episodes 1-6 lasted 10 days (and a week passed between 1x03 and 1x04), but events in episodes 1x06 to 1x09 were happening very fast, it couldn’t have been more than a couple of days, and ditto for episodes 1x10-1x13. The only possible times when more time could have passed was between 1x9 and 1x10.

Body count:

Part 1: 

1 Delinquent (Myles), wounded last episode and now murdered by Murphy as revenge for the lynching.

1 patient on the Ark that Abby wasn’t able to save.

1 Grounder killed off-screen by Lincoln

2 or 3 Reapers

1 or 2 unfortunate Grounders being eaten or about to be eaten by the Reapers.

Part 2: Lots of people.

About 300 Trikru warriors (and some of the Reapers who had been fighting them, probably) – most of them burned in the ring of fire.

Either 31 or 29 Delinquents – first a redshirt Drew, killed by a scout before the battle, then a bunch of them in battle with the Trikru (or maybe burned). This is where it gets confusing. At the start of Part 2, Bellamy feels he’s failed and says there have been 18 dead, and Clarke tries to comfort him, saying 82 are still alive. But only 16 Delinquents were killed before 1x13. So, either 1) two more died of that illness or were killed by the Grounders off-screen, or 2) he was assuming Monty and Murphy were dead or would soon be dead. And in season 3, Bellamy tells Kane “Trikru killed 37 of my friends before you even touched the ground”. Out of the 16 Delinquents who definitely died in the first 12 episodes, 6 were killed by Grounders (3 directly, 3 by bio warfare/illness). That would mean either 2 more + Drew + 29 in battle, or Drew + 31 in battle.  In any case, in season 2, 48 were captured in Mount Weather, while 6 survived outside of it (Octavia, Murphy, Finn, Monroe, Sterling, and one boy killed by Tristan in 2x01) – which would make 54, plus Bellamy and Raven.

A bunch of people died in the landing of the Ark, but there’s no info how many. In 1x07 they said there were 2,237 people on the Ark. (Which means that, before they sent the 100 to the ground and Raven took the escape pod, there were at least 2339.)  In 1x11, Kane said there were about 1,000 survivors on the Ark. But he also said 1,500 died in the shutdown of the Ark, which definitely doesn’t add up, as it would mean there were about 2,500 people before that, and that’s without the few hundred that died with Diana on the Exodus ship (which Kane may or may not counted?). Either Kane is terrible at math, or the writers got things mixed up. Anyway, let’s say that 1,000 survived, that means about 1,200 died either on Exodus or due to the shutdown on the Ark. But some of the 12 stations probably exploded before touching the ground, so a few hundred more Arkers probably died.

[formerprincess]

A tale written with fangs and claws || Chapter 49

Chapters: 49/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Nolan (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alpha Liam Dunbar, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Dunbar Pack, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Werewolf Theo Raeken, Alpha Theo Raeken, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Mates, Liam and Theo are mates, Top Theo Raeken, Bottom Theo Raeken, Top Liam, Bottom Liam Dunbar Series: Part 1 of Morning Dew Pack

Landon now lives with the pack. Will everything go smoothly? Liam doesn't want him to know about werewolves, how long can he keep this secret from his little brother? And taking care of Landon is not the only thing the pack needs to pay attention to.

Liam felt bone-aching exhaustion when he entered the house with Theo and Landon. The encounter with his biological father and the emotional rollercoaster before clearly had more effect on him than he thought at first. But for Landon, he would be strong, act like he was having everything under control, and so he smiled at his little brother and gently squeezed his hand when they arrived home.

The pack had gathered in the living room and they happily greeted the Alpha couple. When they saw Landon however, they made inquisitive sounds. Liam smiled. “Guys, this is Landon, the boy I met through the Big Brother Program. Landon, those are my friends, I showed you pictures of them. Now you meet them for real.” He introduced every single member and they all waved and welcomed Landon who waved shyly and clutched Liam’s hand.  “Hi,” he said softly. “Landon’s staying with us,” Liam informed his Betas and Mason looked happy but surprised. “Did they finally allowed you to meet outside the school? That’s awesome, I thought it would take a little longer. But it’s cool, a sleepover, who doesn’t love that?” But Liam shook his head in reply. “Landon’s staying with us. Period. He’s not leaving again.” Mason blinked. “Come again? What?” Liam inhaled softly and reached out to gently run a hand through Landon’s hair. “In recent terms of events today it turned out that Landon’s father is Emmet Dunbar,” he announced and Landon looked at him and smiled weakly at his older brother. The pack erupted in confused and shocked sounds, clearly interested in the story behind that, and Liam really wanted to give it to them but...

Not in front of Landon. 

He knelt down. “Are you hungry, buddy? Should get you something to eat first, alright?” Landon nodded and Brett spoke up. “There are some sandwiches on the table in the kitchen. Feel free to take, we made them for the whole household.” With a grateful smile towards the tall werewolf, Liam guided Landon into the kitchen. The dogs had been rested in front of the patio doors and enjoyed the sun on their fur but when the two boys entered, they got up and trotted over. Landon’s eyes lit up. Just like Liam himself, the younger loved animals and he had loved the pictures of the pups.  “They look like wolves.” “Yeah, but they are pretty nice. Hold out your hand, they won’t bite you,” Liam instructed Landon when the child was a bit hesitant to come close to the animals despite clearly liking them.  Landon reached out now and let Aka and Koda sniff his hand. Both decided immediately that he was friendly and eagerly pushed against his hand so he started petting them. Landon giggled.  Liam took it as his chance. “If you want a sandwich, just take one from the table, okay? I will be right back, just need to have a talk with my friends in the living room,” he told his baby brother who nodded absentmindedly and ran his fingers through the Tamaskan’s soft furs. 

The young Alpha slipped out of the kitchen and returned to the living room where his Betas were still gobsmacked.  “If Emmet Dunbar is Landon’s father, that makes you...,” Tim made a motion between the kitchen and Liam with his index finger, “Oh boy!” “It makes us actual brothers, yeah.” Liam let out a shaky breath and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I didn’t know until today. Landon saw my jersey and started crying. I didn’t know why but then suddenly Emmet showed up and dragged him out of the school. I came home and asked Theo for help, Landon suddenly called, we drove there...I had no idea what would happen. I just knew I couldn’t leave him with that man.” He hunched his shoulders and shook his head. “Emmet hasn’t changed. He’s still a drunkard and still hits his son. The only difference between me and Landon is, I had a mother who saved me from all this. He has nobody.” “He has you,” Theo chimed in quietly.  Liam looked at him and nodded softly. “Guess you’re right. And look, guys, I know none of us is trained enough to raise a child and I’m sorry I brought this upon you but I had no other choice.” “You don’t have to be sorry.” Lori shook her head. “If it’s family, you protect, blood or not. We all are family and since he is your little brother, he might as well be our little brother. We will protect him and take care of him in and make sure he now can have a happy childhood away from any abuse,” she stated firmly and the others murmured in approval.  Mike nodded. “She’s right.” “So you don’t mind having him here?” Liam was relieved by that.  Mason smiled warmly. “He’s your little brother and what you already told us about him, even before you knew he was your little brother, is just so sweet. He will be a joy to have around.” That reminded Liam of something else. “By the way, I haven’t told Landon about werewolves yet and I want to keep it that way for the first time being. I’m aware this will be kind of hard but I’m not sure how well a nine-year-old child handles that. He has been traumatized enough already, don’t need to add to this. I’m sorry, guys, but I don’t want him in the known about supernaturals yet and I’m sorry if this makes your life a little bit harder.” “It will be fine.” Maya shook her head and smiled. “It’s not like we’re still fighting with our control. We have it covered so we won’t scare the little one. Don’t worry about it. We all get where you’re coming from.”

Liam was well aware it wouldn’t be easy, none of them had experience with raising a child, but he now knew his brother was safe and surrounded by love. And if this pack had something to give, it was love. Landon just gained lots of brothers and sisters. 

“Thanks, guys. I’m going to show him around,” he announced to his Betas and then walked back in the kitchen where Landon sat on the floor and still petted Aka and Koda.  “Hey, buddy, let me show you where you sleep, okay? It’s not a room filled with toys and fun stuff yet but we can get you new things in the next days. Sounds good?”  Landon looked surprised. “I get things?” “Course you do. You’re my baby brother, you deserve nice things. What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t buy you toys?” Liam smiled softly and it only widened when Landon got to his feet and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist.  “Thank you, Liam.” “Anytime. Now, come on, let me show you everything.” 

He gently stirred Landon in the direction of the stairs and led him upstairs. On their way, he explained where every pack member lived and then showed Landon the last guest room they had.  Landon laughed and crawled onto the bed. “Such a big bed and it’s all for me?” “It sure is, buddy, all for you. You’re not the tallest, just like me, but let me tell you, having a big bed is nice. And you don’t have to share it with anybody.” “Do you have to share your bed, Liam?” “Yeah, with Theo.” The young Alpha chuckled. “But I like sharing with him, so it’s totally fine.” The child nodded solemnly. “I see,” he mumbled. “Now, listen, my room is that one.” Liam pointed at the door. “Landon, if you ever need something, no matter the time, you can come and see me there, okay? Whatever it is.” Landon looked at his hands and nervously played with his fingers. “You won’t mind?” He finally asked hesitantly and bit his lip. His blue eyes were filled with worry when he finally dared to look up.  Liam smiled warmly when he now shook his head. “I won’t mind. I’m here to protect you, may it from a bad dream or bad people. So you can always come and share when something bothers you. I know you’re not used to it. Your...our father is not a very lovely person but I am. Got that from my mom. And you are very lovely as well, I already learned that about you.” The younger boy smiled at his big brother and then moved closer to hug Liam again.  “Thank you, Liam.” “Don’t mention it, Laddie.” Liam carefully hugged his baby brother back. 

****** "Are you feeling better, now that your brother is with us?” Theo asked while he pulled his shirt over his head. It was the night of the same day they took Landon away from his abusive father and the mated couple was getting ready for bed.  Liam rubbed his neck. “Yeah. I don’t think I could have slept one minute knowing he still lives with this bastard.” He sat on the bed after he stretched. It had been an emotionally exhausting day and he was really feeling it now. “Thank you for grounding me. Without you, I would have beaten the crap out of Emmet and probably send him to the hospital.” Theo stepped to the bed and put both hands on Liam’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you for keeping in control so greatly. It was actually impressive, given what Emmet put you and Landon through.” “That’s in the past now. I want to look forward and make sure Landon now has the best childhood he can have. He deserves to be a happy little boy. Better late than never.” Liam smiled at Theo and Theo returned the smile before he reached up and ran his fingers over Liam’s cheek. “You okay though? Look kinda tired.” “I am tired. Long, rough day. My bed is calling out for me.” “Do you want to use the bathroom first? I can take a shower after you’re done,” Theo immediately offered. Liam smiled at his mate’s concern but waved it off.  “It’s fine. Take your shower, I can brush my teeth afterward.” “You sure?” Theo raised one eyebrow in question. “Yeah, I am. Get your ass into the shower, Raeken.” Liam reached up and gave his boyfriend’s behind a soft slap. The older laughed but then walked into the bathroom.

Liam snickered and stretched out on the bed. He heard the shower getting turned on and Theo closing the door after he got into the cubicle. Theo would take some minutes, so he might as well close his eyes and relax while he waited for his turn. He could brush his teeth while Theo was in the shower, he knew what his man looked naked and wet after all, but lately, there seemed to be a problem with the pipes and when one used the bathroom faucet, it took the water pressure away from the shower. He didn’t want to leave Theo with just a little trickle to wash away the soap and shampoo so he had to wait. 

The Alpha made a mental note to call a plumber to check for the source of the problem and listened to the water running. He was asleep before the water got turned off again and Theo returned to the room. 

He woke up the next day before Theo and slowly got out of bed. The house was quiet so Liam figured he was the first one awake again. On his way down, however, he met with Caden who sneaked out of the bathroom and was on his way back to Ever’s room. He hesitated when he saw Liam and laughed nervously.  “Uhm, should I have asked you before staying over?” Liam grinned. “Did you use protection?” He asked back and Caden blinked. “Course we did.” “Then carry on.” He grinned when Caden bolted back into the room and then Liam trotted down the stairs, filled the dogs' bowls with fresh water and food, and even started to brew coffee. He had taken his phone with him when he left his room and now lazily checked some messages while he sat down on the patio. A little green dot showed him his mother was online and Liam knew he had to have this conversation sooner or later. So he pressed the button for a video call and waited for Ilona to accept the call.

Her face appeared on the screen moments later and she smiled. “Good Morning, baby.” She waved and Liam waved back with a soft laugh.  “How are you, mom?” “I am fine, just about to meet with some of my friends later on for brunch. What about you? Are your classes still stressing you out? What about your team? Any new wins yet?” “Classes are still demanding, you know it. No, no new wins yet but we’re working on it. Before I graduate, I will hold the trophy, mark my words.” He raised a fist and Ilona laughed.  “That’s the spirit!”

Mother and son had a laugh together but then Liam grew serious again. “Mom, there’s something I have to talk about with you.” Ilona frowned. “Honey, what’s wrong?” Now that he was talking to his mother, Liam had no real idea how to tell her. It was a sensitive topic and he didn’t want to hurt his mother. There were so many bad memories connected to this man and she didn’t deserve to live through it again. But he couldn’t keep his newfound family ties from her.  “I told you about this boy I got paired with in the Big Siblings program, right?” “Yeah, you did. He sounded like a really nice little boy and I’d love to meet him one day if that’s possible.” “Oh, you will definitively meet him,” Liam muttered under his breath.  Ilona perked up. “What was that? I didn’t catch that.” “Nothing, I...” Liam sighed. “I recently found out...I mean, yesterday, I found it out that....” He stopped again and gnawed on his lower lip.  “Liam, talk to me. Whatever it is, you can talk to me about everything.” “I know that. I just...don’t want to hurt you.” “Baby, give me some credit. I handled you being a werewolf just fine, right? Whatever it is now, I will handle it just as fine.”

He exhaled loudly. She was right, his mother was a tough cookie. “Okay. Well, as I said, I found out yesterday that...” Liam decided to rip it off like a bandaid. “Landon is Emmet’s son!” Ilona’s frown deepened and then she looked highly baffled. “What?” “Seems like he got married again after you divorced and had another son three years after your divorce. But Landon’s mom died during his birth and it was just him and Emmet. I didn’t know it until Emmet picked him up from school yesterday. I didn’t...It was crazy, mom!” Now that he started, everything was bubbling out and Liam couldn’t stop. “I went to Theo cause I had no idea how to react. What was I supposed to do? I just found out I had a little brother. What’s the right way to handle this? But then Landon called and asked for help and Theo drove me there and...He didn’t change, mom! He is still the same abusive, drunk bastard he was back then. And...” Liam bit his lower lip and clenched his eyes shut for a moment to regain his composure. 

When he opened his eyes again, he found his mother staring at him wide-eyed, hands clasped over her mouth. And Liam continued: “I wanted to beat him up. A part of me wanted to punish him for everything he had done to you, to me, and obviously to Landon. I was just so angry. But then I thought about you and how hard you worked to make sure I never became like him. Theo being there helped too, he anchored me. I didn’t want to be like that guy and so I let him go. But I took Landon with me. He’s with us now. No way I’m letting him back to a father who hits him.”

Liam had not realized he was crying but when he ended, he felt the wet streaks rolling down his cheeks and wiped them away hastily. He saw his mother doing the same and she shook her head.  “My sweet baby...” “I know it’s probably not the right thing. I should call the police and child protective services but they would take Landon away from me and I don’t want that. We will take care of him, me and my pack, and he will have a happy childhood from now on.” 

“Liam,” Ilona said softly, “Liam, look at me.” She smiled when her son followed and looked at the screen. “I’m not going to tell you to call social services. This situation is difficult, almost unbearable, and I’m more worried about how you feel all about this. You met your father again, a man you haven’t seen in over a decade. What did this do to you?” Liam shrugged. “I’m confused? There is so much going on in my head. I guess a part of me always thought I would meet up with him one day and have a real talk about everything. Maybe I even hoped he would have changed and understood what he did wrong. Now I know I will never talk to him ever again if I didn’t have to. He will never change. Alcohol is more important to him than anything or anybody else. He’s that weak. I don’t want him in my life. But I guess, I came out of the meeting okay. And hey, I gained a little brother out of it. A real little brother.” “Something you always wanted. I still remember how bummed you were when your dad and I told you we won’t be having another child. Now your wish came true.”

He laughed and wiped away the remaining tears. “Are you okay? I didn’t want to rip up any old scars, you know? You’re my mother and I want you to be happy.” “Liam, I am absolutely fine. You told me something about my ex-husband and this is terrible, especially that he learned nothing from past mistakes, but I’m not traumatized. I didn’t meet him again, you did. But when you tell me you’re fine, that’s all I want to hear.” “I am fine, mom, I really am.”

Liam heard the patio door being opened and when he turned around Landon hovered in the doorway. “Liam?” He asked hesitantly. “Hey, Laddie, come here. I’m having a video call with my mom and would like you to meet her.” He extended his hand and Landon slowly followed the invitation so that Liam could pull him in. “That’s my mom Ilona and mom, that’s Landon.”  Landon waved shyly and looked between mother and son. “Hello. You are very pretty,” he informed Ilona. “Liam looks like you.” Ilona squealed. “It is so nice to meet you, Landon. You are such a polite kid. Oh my god.” “He is, right?” Liam laughed and squeezed his brother’s shoulder. Landon beamed at him.  “Look at you, you look so cute together. Big brother and little brother. How adorable.” Ilona was enraptured.  “Mom.” Liam chuckled softly but he secretly loved it. She was right, after all, and to be a big brother felt good. 

****** It was two weeks since Landon had moved in with the pack and it had gone smoother than Liam initially expected. A few toys and plushies had found their home in Landon’s new room and true to his promise, Liam had helped pick out a nice light blue frame for the picture of Landon’s mother. It now stood on the nightstand so she could watch over Landon (Landon’s words). 

But even the picture could not keep everything away from the nine-year-old and one night Liam was shaken awake by a tiny hand on his shoulder. He blinked and slowly Landon turned sharper in front of his bleary eyes. 

“Landon, buddy, what’s wrong?” Landon sniffled. “I had a nightmare, Liam.” He hiccuped and pressed his donkey plushie closer to his chest. “The room is so dark tonight.” It tore Liam’s heart into two to see his brother in this state and he felt a new sense of connection to his mother when he thought back how often Liam stood at her bed and cried over a nightmare. Especially after the divorce, the nights had been bad for little Liam.  He now did what his mother had done during those times. He moved further into the middle of the bed and cast a look over his shoulder. Theo still slept peacefully, undisturbed by the nightly visitor. Good.  “Come here, Laddie,” Liam invited his brother and lifted the covers. Landon didn’t even hesitate to crawl in with his big brother and curl close to Liam who tucked the covers back around the two of them again.  He kissed Landon’s forehead. “Try to sleep, okay? You’re safe here and I make sure no nightmare can get to you here.” Landon nodded and Liam put his arms around the scared child before he closed his eyes. Just giving Landon the safety of somebody he could cuddle up with, to know he was not alone. It helped Theo when he had nightmares and always helped Liam himself as well so he hoped it did the trick. When he listened to Landon’s heartbeat, it surely did. The little heart slowly calmed down again and he didn’t sniffle anymore. 

They laid there in silence before Landon suddenly whispered: “Liam?” “Yeah?” “I hoped to find you one day after dad mentioned you for the first time.” He smiled softly. “I’m glad I found you. I always wanted a little brother just like you.” “Oh, really?” “Yup.”  Liam felt Landon cuddle closer to him. “I’m really happy you’re my brother, Liam.” “I’m happy you are my brother too, Landon.”

****** Liam had to admit, having a whole pack to babysit a kid had perks. They took turns in picking Landon up from school and they all helped the boy with his homework. Mason and Sadie were great when it came to mathematics and science, Liam obviously was the history nerd and loved to help Landon in regards to this, Theo helped him with language, just to name a few. And the more time Landon spend surrounded by people he loved, the happier he became. He got out of his shell more and more day by day and it wasn’t uncommon to hear him laughing happily or see him running around. Sure, what he had endured for almost ten years left their traces and there were moments when the trauma caught up with him, just like it did with Liam from time to time. But Liam saw the positive effects of the loving environment. Landon even looked healthier and not as pale as he had been when Liam first met him. 

The relationship between the brothers bloomed and they got along absolutely amazingly. They got to know each other after not being part of each other’s lives for ten long years and they even managed to find some similarities. Both liked fish but hated salmon with a fierce passion, it made them both nauseous. And Landon enjoyed painting with his fingers just as much as his big brother. Theo had just smiled fondly when he came home one night and found them at the kitchen table, fingers stained with chalk and the table covered with their masterpieces. 

But despite getting along so well and discovering things about each other every day, Landon still managed to surprise Liam. A nice example of this happened when Landon came home from school today. Nolan had picked him up and Liam heard them already in the garage from where they chatted animatedly. But then the door to the kitchen suddenly burst open and Landon dashed through. 

“Liam, Liam, today in Art class we had to draw our heroes. Guess who I drew?” “That’s another thing the two of you have in common, he gets just as excited about things as you,” Sadie chimed in from her place at the table where she ate a banana. Ever next to her nodded. “Yeah, he can be as much of a happy puppy as you, Lee.”  Liam just chuckled but paid them no mind and rather answered his brother. “Who did you draw?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest and thought about it. “Captain America?” Landon smiled and shook his head.  “Hm, Iron Man?” Another shake of the head.  “Scarlet Witch?”  And again Landon shook his head.  Liam pondered on it. “Oh, I know! Wonder Woman!” Landon giggled but again shook his head.  Liam laughed. “Okay, I give up. Who did you draw?”

The child gave him a very sincere look. “You,” he calmly declared and it caught Liam completely off guard. He stared. “Me?” He finally asked after what felt like a lifetime.  “Yeah, because you are my hero,” Landon explained earnestly. Sadie and Ever squealed at that and Liam knelt down so he was eye to eye with his brother and could pull him in a hug. He knew they got along pretty great and he adored his baby brother but he had not known Landon felt that strongly about him. Liam a hero for his younger brother? That came as a surprise. A very happy one.  “I love you so much,” he whispered into Landon’s ear and felt his brother hug him tightly.  “I love you too, Liam. You are my hero and no superhero can ever be as great as you are.”

Theo stepped into the kitchen. “Did I hear somebody say superhero?” Landon weaseled out of Liam’s hug to eagerly nod and tell Theo what happened. “We had to draw our heroes today and I drew Liam because he is my hero.” The First Beta smiled and looked form the child to his boyfriend. “I can totally see why, you are absolutely right, Landon. Want to hear a secret?” He crouched down. “Liam’s my hero too,” he told the boy and then winked at Liam.  The young Alpha blushed bright red. “Hush! You’re making me blush!” “But it is true,” Theo insisted. “You can hush me all you want, doesn’t change the fact. You, Liam Emerson Dunbar, are mine and Landon’s hero. Right, champ?” Landon nodded and high-fived Theo. “Right!”

And while Liam might not see himself that way, seeing his mate and his brother get along so perfectly made him very happy. Both were important to Liam and he couldn’t imagine his life without them anymore so seeing them get along was essential to him. Theo was a great brother-in-law for Landon and vice versa.  “You two are nuts.” “What do nuts mean?” Landon asked curiously.  “It’s Liam’s way of saying he loves us,” Theo explained professionally. 

****** "No, Mason, I don’t know what kind of clams serve as an aphrodisiac. I wasn’t even aware clams can do that.” Liam pushed the door of the little deli open and stepped out in the streets again. He talked with Mason on the phone who was currently planning a romantic dinner he wanted to surprise Corey with.  “Do you need those? Really?...No, Mase, I don’t want to hear the story about Aphrodite and how she was born out of a clam. I know that story.” It was hard not to laugh at his best friend’s antics. Mason acted like this was their first date. It was cute how those two could already be married and still as much in love as they had been on the first day.  “Yes...yes, Mason, I am pretty sure the dinner will be a success, even if you don’t serve those clams.”  He heard the scratching of pen on paper and then Mason began a rant about chocolate covered strawberries and edible underwear. Liam decided to cut the conversation right there. “I am not going to buy edible underwear for your husband! The only one I would buy those for is my boyfriend and we’re both not into it. See you at home, Mase!” He ended the call and shook his head with a small laugh. Mason was definitively the crazy one in their friendship and that meant a lot coming from the werewolf. 

Liam pushed his phone in the pocket of his jeans. He just hoped Landon wasn’t around when Mason gave a lecture on the different flavors of edible underwear. Poor boy would probably be scared for life. He was way too young for that! Liam wanted to keep his baby brother innocent for a little while longer, hence why he also didn’t tell him about werewolves yet. It opened a new terrifying world and Liam didn’t want to rush things. Landon should keep his childlike innocence a few more years. 

The young Alpha stepped onto the street. He had driven to university with Theo this morning and then later took the bus to run some errands. Now he would also take the bus to get home.  He barely registered some movement out of the corner of his right eye and it took his brain valuable seconds to register a car driving closer to him. The streets had been quiet before, otherwise, Liam would have never crossed it. He may be a daredevil when he was fighting supernatural baddies but when it came to road traffic Liam was careful.  Two arms wrapped around his midsection and yanked him back. His bag crashed to the floor and the car sped by while Liam and his savior stumbled to the ground. And then Liam sat there on the sidewalk and the blood was rushing in his ears while his brain yelled at him how fucking close that had been. He turned his head and there was Caden, looking just as shocked as Liam. 

“Damn, are you okay, Liam?” “Yeah, yeah.” The young Alpha nodded. His heart was still thumping like mad but he was okay. “Thanks to you. I didn’t see the car driving down the street. Too lost in thoughts. I really need to learn to be more careful sometimes.” Caden stared at him before he suddenly shook his head. “No, Liam, you don’t understand: The car was standing in the street the whole time until you stepped out of the deli, then it started to drive slowly and when you stepped onto the street, they sped up. They wanted to run you over.” He frowned, a deep crease between his eyes. “What?” Liam could not really believe this. But Caden’s heartbeat was even when he talked, he wasn’t lying. “Why would anybody want to run me over with their car?” “I don’t know but that was too sudden to be a coincidence.” 

It would be an understatement to say Liam was confused. He had no idea how to handle it or what to make out of it. Was there actually a way to deal with someone seemingly being after your blood?  “We need to talk to the Betas.” He got up and walked over to his bag. Thankfully the car had also missed it and nothing got broken inside.  “Are you here by car?” Caden had got to his feet too and now looked inquisitively at Liam.  “I took the bus,” Liam negated. “I’m here by car, I can drive you,” Caden offered and raised his keys. And really, if Liam had the choice, he would take the car. It was faster anyway.  “Okay, then I’ll take you up on that offer.”

The car ride to the house was filled with them both talking over the almost accident over and over again. Liam still could not wrap his head around the fact someone had wanted to run him over. Then again, he knew it was entirely possible and werewolves could even die from it.  “I don’t think it would have killed you, the car was too slow for that, but it would have seriously injured you for sure,” Caden gave in his own two cents when they parked in front of the house and headed for the entrance.  Liam hummed. “You’re probably right.” He unlocked the door and stepped inside. Corey just walked down the stairs and greeted them happily.  “Cor, where’s Landon?” Liam asked.  “In his room.” The chimera hesitated. “Is something wrong?” “I need all of you Betas in the living room. We need to have a pack meeting. Gather them!”

He realized he was giving orders but right now Liam couldn’t care less. And maybe his Betas had heard him or Corey was just that good at alerting them all but only minutes later they were all in the living room.  “We’re having a pack meeting and he is here?” Mike asked and gave Caden an appraising look. Ever swatted at his arm and gave him a warning look. She was on Caden’s side, for obvious reasons.  “Caden saved me from getting run over by a car not an hour ago. In my books, that makes him pack,” Liam explained and effectively ended the argument between his Betas which had been about to start. They just stared at their Alpha instead, stunned into silence. Liam gestured towards Caden. “I mean if you want to be.” “I’d love to be part of your pack. Thank you.” Caden smiled softly and Liam took a look around.  “Everybody having any objections?” They shook their heads, except for Theo who sat on the armrest of the couch and frowned. “Do you have any doubts about that?” Liam inquired and poked his boyfriend’s shoulder.  “Sorry, I’m still hung up on getting run over by a car. What happened??” “Oh yeah, well, that is a good question. I wanted to cross the street and suddenly the car drove towards me. If it weren’t for Caden, I probably would not be standing here right now.” “Again, I don’t think they meant to kill you. The speed was just too slow. They probably wanted to injure you.” “They? Did you see them?” Ever asked him. Caden shook his head.  “No. I just walked down the street and the sun was reflecting from the car so it caught my eye. That it was just standing in the middle of the street didn’t seem strange, maybe they were waiting for someone and the street wasn’t busy. But then Liam appeared and the car slowly started rolling. Still not strange, maybe the driver had just been looking for something. But then they sped up and I thankfully was close enough to pull Liam back. But I didn’t see who was sitting in the car, I’m sorry.”  “Hold on, the car sped up when Liam appeared?” Theo’s frown deepened and there was a flash of gold in his eyes. His wolf clearly picked up the threat against his mate. Liam reached out and put one arm around his mate’s shoulder. Contact might help to calm him.  “Yeah, when he stepped into the street. Course it could have been random but that would be way too random, know what I mean? To me, it appeared like Liam had been the target of that,” Caden shared his insight.  “So the question is: Who would have any motivation to run Liam over with their car?” Corey questioned.  “Well, we know some hunters who used this method before,” Brett muttered bitterly.  Nolan made an unconvinced face. “I’m not so sure they were hunters. A hunter wants to kill a werewolf, not just injure them. Caden said it wouldn’t have killed Liam, even less since he is an Alpha.” “Maybe the person driving the car didn’t know that? Maybe they still think Liam’s a Beta,” Mason interjected. “Still. Hunters usually don’t attract that much attention towards what they do. It was the middle of the day, too many witnesses and the possibility of someone remembering the license plate,” Nolan persisted.  “If they weren’t hunters, who else could be out to get me?” Liam thought out loud.  “The same person watching us for a while now?” Sadie chimed in. “You said somebody followed you the other day, Ever had been watched, I felt somebody watching me.” “I don’t like that.” Tim shook his head. “That there is somebody following us and even going so far to try and seriously injure one of us.” “Wouldn’t be the first time, right? Celia did it as well,” Maya reminded everybody. “We just didn’t realize it until it was too late.” “Only this time they’re not as sneaky as they think they are. Or it is somebody who doesn’t know we are werewolves and have better senses than anybody else,” Mike muttered. 

“You are werewolves?” Liam spun around when the small voice came from the entrance of the living room. Landon stood there, one hand grasped at the hem of his shirt, and he looked completely blindsided. He felt his heart drop to his stomach. This was exactly the kind of situation he had wanted to avoid. Landon wasn’t supposed to find out that way; he was way too young for this. But here they were and while Liam wanted to protect his little brother, he also knew he couldn’t lie to the nine-year-old. That just wasn’t fair.

So he slowly nodded. “We all. Most of us are.” Landon’s eyes switched back and forth between Liam and the rest of the group but he didn’t run screaming for the hills and Liam took this as a good sign.  “Are you like the werewolves in the movies? Hairy and evil?” “No. We are good werewolves. We are not like the ones in the movies,” Liam explained patiently while he slowly walked over and crouched down in front of Landon. He never moved too fast so he didn’t scare the child.  “Are you afraid of us now?” Landon looked at his brother and bit his lower lip. His heart rate was going on faster but nowhere as fast as somebody’s in panic mood would be. “Can you show me what you look like?” He finally asked and still played with the hem of his shirt.  The twenty-year-old smiled softly and then let his eyes glow red. Claws and fangs grew as he partially shifted. Not into a complete wolf, that would probably be too much right now. Landon’s eyes widened as he watched and then he hesitantly reached out and grasped Liam’s wrist in his small hands to inspect his claws closer. Liam didn’t mind, his baby brother should take all the time in the world. As long as he was curious he wasn’t scared. 

The kid’s eyes went back to the Betas who all had flashed their eyes and then back to Liam. “Why are your eyes red and theirs not?” “Because Liam’s our Alpha, our leader,” Maya explained with a warm smile. “We are the Betas.” “Betas,” Landon repeated. He looked at Liam. “Alpha.” He nodded to himself and seemed to think this over. “How are werewolves made? Did you fall into a barrel with some radioactive waste?” “Some are born as werewolves, others - like myself- were bitten,” Liam told him with a little smile. Landon’s chemosignals had changed from being insecure to completely curious now.  “Bitten like Spiderman?” “Kinda.” Liam laughed.  “So you’re like superheroes. Do you also fight bad guys?” “Sometimes,” Tim confirmed happily and Mike smirked and bumped his shoulder against his best friend’s. Landon gasped. “That’s so cool.” But then he noticed: “Your eyes are not glowing,” he stated in the direction if Mason and Nolan.  “We are the humans of the team. Every team needs at least one human.” “And I’m a witch.” Ever raised her hand and let little lights dance around.  Landon giggled. “Wow! That’s awesome! You’re like The Avengers!”

“I have to admit nobody ever compared me to the Avengers and this is very heartwarming,” Brett chimed in, “But we still have to talk about the fact that somebody tried to run Liam...Hmpf!” Nolan clasped his hand over Brett’s mouth and effectively silenced him while he pulled the other back. “You’re not talking about Liam almost getting run over by a car in front of his little brother!” He hissed and then smiled brightly. “Don’t mind him, he was just clearing his throat,” he louder announced to the room. Liam had looked over his shoulder and shook his head with a little laugh but then turned back to Landon. “Hey, buddy, listen, you can’t tell anybody what we are, okay? It has to be our secret. There are people who don’t like us out there and therefore we cannot go public with being werewolves. You can’t tell your friends or anybody else, got that?” Landon nodded solemnly. “I won’t tell anybody your secret!” He mimicked zipping his mouth shut and the pack laughed. Liam swiftly swept him up and hugged him.  “You’re the best, Laddie!”

****** "Are you happy that Landon knows about werewolves now?”  Theo’s question made Liam smile while he finished drying up and tied the towel around his waist. He left the bathroom and looked at Theo sitting in the desk chair.  “It makes things easier. I mean, I still don’t want him to know everything, he’s too young to know about all the horrors out there, but we now don’t have to watch what we’re saying as much as we had before. That’s good. And he really took it well.” Theo smiled. “He clearly gets this from his older brother. Accepting people without much of a hassle. It’s proof of his good heart. You have to be proud.”  “I am proud of Landon. He is a great kid and he will turn into a great young man one day.” Liam smiled as well. His brother was truly a source of joy for him. “He is surely very proud of you as well. He admires his big brother very much. I can get behind that.” Theo got up from the chair and walked over to Liam.  “Oh, can you?” Liam teased.   “Hm. Absolutely.” Theo smirked and then he kissed Liam. “I’m quite proud of you myself.” His hands opened Liam’s towel and threw it away. “Let me show you how much.” Liam laughed but allowed Theo to pull him towards the bed and onto it. He pressed closer to his boyfriend and kissed him again before they lost themselves in passion and bliss.

Hours later, after he and Theo had fallen asleep tightly wrapped around each other, Liam’s eyes suddenly snapped open. He wasn’t sure what had woken him up and considered Landon standing by his bed after another nightmare as a possible reason. But when he listened to the heartbeats Liam realized all of his Betas and his little brother were asleep. Maybe Liam himself had dreamed of something bad? But he couldn’t remember and didn’t feel stressed whatsoever. So what had woken him up?

A crunching sound alerted the Alpha even more. He raised his head and strained his ears. His family was asleep but the heartbeats didn’t add up. One heartbeat too many!  Another crunching sound and a pebble got kicked away. Somebody was sneaking around the house!  Liam growled lowly and then continued to listen. If it was a burglar, he would protect his pack. But he didn’t hear any glass breaking or a door opening. And then the heartbeat diverged from the house again. Whoever had been outside, they had not tried to get in the house. Liam frowned. What the hell?

Theo distracted him when he rolled over in his sleep and whimpered. It seemed like he had the beginning of another nightmare and Liam leaned over him. “Shh, it’s okay, you’re safe,” he whispered and gently stroked over Theo’s cheek. Pressing his body against Theo’s he continued to whisper positive things into Theo’s ear until the Beta’s whimpers stopped. Liam kissed his shoulder and curled around his boyfriend to keep him grounded. Thus he also fell asleep again, the strange visitor forgotten. 

When Liam woke up the next morning, he wasn’t so sure the nightly encounter had really happened. Sometimes you dreamt of something and it felt so real but truly wasn’t. So he got out of bed and made his way into the kitchen after he got dressed.  Mike was down there, sitting at the table and quietly eating his cereal. He still looked half asleep and Liam let him be. Rather filled a cup with coffee and then stepped out into the garden to enjoy the morning air. It already looked like a nice summer day and the sun was already warming up the city. He held his face into the sun and smiled. The birds sang and it was really peaceful. 

After he stayed outside for several minutes, Liam was even more convinced he just had dreamed about someone sneaking around but then he turned around, about to walk back into the kitchen, and noticed some of the flowers in the flowerbed were flattened. He stepped closer and saw a clear shoeprint in the soil. It had not been a dream, somebody really had snuck around the house. 

Liam’s eyes flashed and he looked around but could not see anybody. Of course not. Whoever had been here was long gone but that didn’t mean Liam’s wolf was not getting agitated about that. The house was the pack’s home and anybody lurking around was a potential danger. Guess he had to be even more careful from now on. 

****** “How do you tell somebody you like them?” Liam continued to cut the bell pepper when Brett barged into the kitchen and asked this question. “With words would probably a good idea,” he said lightly. He then looked for the first time up and saw Brett pointing an accusatory finger at him.  “Don’t make fun of me, you're the one to be blamed for this mess!” Liam raised an eyebrow and balanced the knife in his hand right on the pinch. “How the hell am I the one at blame here?” He questioned curiously.  “You talked about relationships and finding the one. You made me realize I had those feelings! Why did you do that?” “I am sorry for wanting you to be happy. What was I even thinking?” “Yeah, glad you admit it!” “Brett.” Liam gave him a pointed look. “You’re acting crazy. More than usual.” He snickered. “But let’s start from the beginning. You like someone. Do I know them?” Brett made a face but in the end, he crumbled and nodded. “Hm.” “Guy or girl?” “Guy. What is this? Twenty questions?” Liam ignored Brett. If he knew the guy Brett liked it didn’t leave many options. Brett didn’t go to SU and Liam didn’t know the people his friend worked with, that must mean... “It’s somebody from the pack, right?” Brett narrowed his eyes but didn’t decline. Liam grinned.  “There are not many options. I can ask or you could tell me right from the start? What option will it be?” “I hate you! But if you must know, it’s Nolan, okay? Go ahead, laugh at me!” He crossed his arms in front of his chest and sat down at the kitchen island with a huff.  “Why should I laugh at you?” Liam didn’t get it. He put the knife aside and steadied himself on the counter. “I mean, Nolan is a great guy and so are you. You should definitively ask him on a date.” “Are you crazy? I can’t do that! I won’t even tell him I like him like that!” Brett looked at Liam as if he had just declared himself the new pope.  “Didn’t you come in here and asked how to tell someone you like them?” Liam had a hard time following.  “That was me not thinking straight.” Brett looked downright disgusted with himself but then his expression changed and he looked terrified. “I could never tell him. Because he probably would agree on a date and I can’t do that.” “Why not?” The young Alpha questioned, voice full of compassion. Something seemed to bother Brett and he wanted to help.  Brett shrugged helplessly. “I had one serious relationship in my life and it fucked me up. I can’t do that again.” Liam sighed. “My first relationship fucked me up as well. I’m pretty sure that’s what a first relationship is supposed to do. When Hayden left I thought I would never get happy again but look at me now.” “I’m not like you, Liam. I’m a superficial guy who is great with one-night-stands and casual fucks but when it comes to feelings I screw it up big time.”

“Brett.” Liam sighed. “You are a really great guy. You care about your family and friends, are an awesome big brother, and you stand up for yourself. You are loyal and you are honest, sometimes even brutally honest. Those are good qualities and maybe it’s time you allow yourself to find happiness in a new relationship.”  “Look, Liam, I may be a good friend, I try to be at least, but that doesn’t make me suited for a relationship. I’m not even romantic and every guy or girl would run away screaming sooner or later.” “Look, the way I see it if you deeply care about someone you make compromises. So what if you’re not the type of guy to bring them flowers? As long as you are faithful and you care about them, I’m sure they won’t mind.” “Hard to believe. Isn’t romantic an essential part of a good relationship?” “It’s to a certain part. Then again, there are couples who hate romance but are happy with each other. I wouldn’t obsess too much about being romantic.” “I am still not suited for a relationship.” Liam groaned. “You are stubborn, somebody ever told you that? So what if your first relationship went to hell? This is like lacrosse. You play against a team and the other team beats you. You may be frustrated, angry, or sad but you get your ass on the field again and you continue to train, you get better, and when you face off against the other team again, you beat them. Practise makes perfect, see it that way. Which doesn’t mean you should date around randomly but you should not let one failed relationship block you for the rest of your life.” Brett scrunched his nose. “Have someone ever told you that you are prone to pep talks? You’re not a sitcom dad or a fortune cookie. Gross! I came in here to wallow in self-pity and not to be motivated.” Liam smirked. “I’m the Alpha, dude, that’s my job.” Brett sighed as if dealing with Liam was the most difficult thing he had ever done. “Whatever, dude. Just don’t tell Nolan I like him, okay?”

And another chapter. I enjoyed writing more about Landon and Liam. Liam had wanted to be a big brother so badly for years and now he is one and it's just wholesome. Do you also enjoy Liam in his new role? I'm curious about what you think. I am also curious about what you think is going on. Is it a new danger and if it is one, who do you think is lurking? I mean it, reading your theories is great and really makes my day. It is interesting because you guys think of things I never would think of simply because I already know what's going to happen. But having other people talk about it is very entertaining and it also gives me motivation. I'm always trying to match or even surpass your expectations and I always hope you like the direction I take things in, even if it's nothing like you thought it would be. Or maybe you are completely right and think in the exact same direction I do, that would also be awesome to read. Whatever it is, I am happy to read from you.

Have a great weekend! ♥