#by god they mean me. i am the god. i summoned the cake.

[kk-cats]

i heard it was tim drake's birthday???

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

Studious IV (Aemond Targaryen x Reader) 18+

You continue reading Aemond's diary. As his true feelings for you become ever more clear, can you decipher your own feelings for him?

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (second person, no use of Y/N)

Warnings: Aemond in his smut writer era (semi-public sex, p in v sex, tiddy suckin', riding, fingering, oral sex f receiving, bad sex)

Author's Note: So sorry for the delay! But this baby is 11K words, so hopefully that makes up for it! Also, I tried for a long time to format this like the others, but tumblr wouldn't let me post it if I did, so the formatting is a little different here.

Read Part I Here - Read Part II Here - Read Part III Here

My Masterlist

Taglist will be done via reblogs (there are simply too many of you to fit here)

Studious IV

You were never setting foot in the library again.

Not after what you just read. Not when you were sure that the mere memory of it would have you bursting into flames the moment you crossed the threshold.

Good gods, only a few entries ago, Aemond could hardly bring himself to write the word ‘cunt,’ and now this? What in the Seven Hells were his advisors – Grand Maester Orwyle, Lord Jasper Wylde, and Prince Aegon – teaching him?

You weren’t sure whether the odd feeling in your stomach was due to how much you ate – an entire meat pie and five tea cakes, all washed down with a pot and a half of raspberry tea – or what you had just read.

Either way, it was not enough to stop you from glancing about your bedchamber to ensure no one was watching you and then rereading the entry from the beginning.

The 16th day in the 5th moon of the year.

I have just returned from the library. Grand Maester Orwyle suggested that I consult a book on anatomy. Since there was no business of court I was required to attend today, I asked one of the librarians to help me retrieve the title after I finished my training.

I also found a few books Aegon recommended, only after I dismissed the librarian – I did not want him to know that I took those. Or that I even knew what they were. Gossip abounds in the capital, and I do not wish to be the subject of more than I already am.

By the titles alone, I am surprised Mother allows them to remain in the Keep. I likely will not read most of them. Aegon has already traumatised me quite thoroughly. I see no reason to allow him to ruin reading for me, as well. Although one title, ‘A Caution for Young Girls,’ seems innocent enough.

But the books are not why I am writing now, when my usual routine is to write immediately before I retire to bed. I just… I need to commit this to paper before it leaves me entirely.

On my way out of the library, I saw her. My wife – if I die tomorrow or in a hundred years, I shall never tire of calling her that.

She has quickly found the more private areas of the library, it seems. I would never have seen her if I had not been considering going there to read myself.

It must mean something that she did not choose just any of the countless hidden places within the maze of the library, but my favourite – a secluded alcove along the western wall. An indicator of our compatibility, perhaps. Or even a sign from the gods?

Had the books I’d been carrying not been so… unsuitable, I would have asked to join her.

No, I wouldn’t have. That would require far more courage than I can summon when I see her.

I just stared at her, watching her face as she read. From where I stood, I could not see what she was reading. But I could see her, and that was enough.

She is so expressive! I saw her both smile and frown in quick succession, and once, her entire face scrunched in displeasure as if she had just taken a bite of lemon! Gods, how can even such an unpleasant expression be so beautiful?

Perhaps I should not have watched her at all, for the longer I stood there, the further my mind drifted. And then, I heard Aegon’s voice, as clearly as if he were standing beside me.

‘Don’t limit yourself to the bedchamber brother, or even the bed! A wall or a table serves just as well. And there is a certain thrill to knowing you could be discovered…’

Damn him. Why did I ever ask for his assistance? I would have been better off enlisting the help of an actual whore! At least then, the vulgarity would not come from the future King. Damn him to the deepest of the Seven Hells.

But that stupid advice echoed in my mind over and over. And against my will and better judgement, an image began to form. A dream – a waking dream.

Though my feet remained planted on the floor, I imagined setting aside my books and joining her in that alcove. She would look up and smile upon hearing my approach, perhaps even giggle at my attempt at stealth.

I would sit beside her and ask what she was reading. I might even ask her to read to me. But I would not let her read for long.

I would kiss her while she read. Not on her lips but all over her perfect face. Her cheeks, her forehead, on the tip of her nose. All just to distract her, to make her laugh. Only when she made so much noise that I feared discovery would I kiss her lips to quiet her and finally claim my prize.

The kiss would not be like in the Sept, or in her chambers that night. Instead, she would kiss me back and open herself to me. I would kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss her. Until we were both out of breath but still wanting more.

Seeing her like that, with her lips swollen and cheeks flushed… I would not be able to wait until we returned to our chambers. I would lift her onto that very table, books be damned.

Like our wedding night, we would not undress. We would be in too much of a hurry.

But even hurried, I would be gentle. I would take the time to prepare her, as Lord Wylde said I must do every time. Doing so makes the experience more pleasurable for the woman, he says. And Orwyle added that her enjoyment makes it more likely that the coupling will be fruitful.

Gods, I hardly care about that anymore. Of course, I want an heir, or several. But I want her more. I want her to feel as much pleasure as I do. To ‘peak,’ as Wylde and Orwyle put it. Aegon uses other words, but I find them too vulgar.

And in the library, making an heir would be the last thing on my mind. Even finding my own pleasure would be secondary. I would use my fingers to prepare her – perhaps get her to peak once before I even enter her?

Aegon says women can find release much more than men can. According to him, he once made a woman peak ten times in one night. I would be more amenable to believing him if he didn’t also claim he did so five times. But maybe he is right about ‘practising’ increasing stamina. Though he has had years of practice, and I have had only two days…

But in the dream world where I have the courage to approach her at all, and the gall to bed her in the library of all places (can you call it ‘bedding’ if it is not done in an actual bed?), I also have that stamina. And the skill to indeed make her peak with just my fingers.

I do not know what sounds she would make, as she was entirely silent on our wedding night, but I would want her to make them. I would want her to make such noise that I would have no choice but to kiss her to quiet her and keep her from drawing the attention of the rest of the library.

Even when I was buried within her, I would kiss her. With one arm wrapped around her hips to hold her steady as I fucked her so hard the table would shake, and the other hand tangled in her hair so I could kiss her just as hard.

I want to kiss her so badly. When I finally go to her again, that is what I will do first.

Once we had both finished – for I would ensure she peaked again with me inside her – I would kiss her more, softly, until our breathing steadied. Then, we would simply take our seats again, and this time, I would read to her.

By all the Seven, what has become of me? To not only have such thoughts but to revel in them as I do?

You didn’t bother reading the rest of the entry again before clutching the diary to your chest and staring at the bed canopy above you as a thousand questions burned through your mind and set your heart racing.

Had he been thinking about that the day he came to you in the library?

Was it what he intended to do, had you not reacted so poorly to his words?

Were you really wishing that he had?

You turned on your side, cradling his diary as you once did a small stuffed pony, and noticed for the first time that night had fallen – you had spent nearly the entire day reading. For a moment, you considered running to Aemond’s chambers. But when you looked back at the journal, there were still more than a dozen ribbons shut in its pages.

And if you went to him just after reading what you did…

Whatever was becoming of Aemond, no doubt thanks to the men he had asked for help in better bedding you, by reading his diary and the most private thoughts and fantasies contained within, it was becoming of you too. For when your eyes drifted closed, Aemond’s dream of the library became your dream as well.

-

The next several days of entries were almost identical.

Aemond woke at dawn after a night of dreams filled with you. They were not always of a carnal nature. Sometimes he dreamed simply of holding or kissing you. Once, he dreamed about flying with you atop his dragon. You didn’t know whether the prospect was thrilling or terrifying. Perhaps both.

Each day, he broke his fast, trained, then ate a small meal before joining court.

Before joining you.

When he wrote in the diary after dinner and several hours of studying and ‘practising’ (you still could not determine what that meant), he still remembered every little thing you did. You had never spoken at court – it was not your place to. But he had catalogued your every movement and reaction to the business of the realm. Every raise of your brows, every repressed smile, and every curious tilt of your head.

You thought you were quite proficient at maintaining a regal mask of indifference. Your mother had you practice it on the journey to King’s Landing while she commanded your brothers to shout at you the most outrageous things they could think of (much of which she promptly scolded them for when they were done).

But Aemond saw through the mask. Not only that, but he correctly interpreted every movement you made.

He knew that the twitch of your lip when Lord Bolton made a petition was a sign of your marked distaste for the man. He knew the scrunch of your brow upon the reading of a missive from a Pentosi diplomat was you noticing a contradiction from the previous message and realising the diplomat was lying. And he knew that you stiffened every time he looked at you because you were nervous about what he would say or do.

Aemond knew you. Even then.

And yet you had so dreadfully misunderstood him.

The shame of it was enough to make you set down the diary and call for a bath – a private bath, without any of your maids present even in the adjourning rooms. You gave an excuse that you were exhausted and simply wished to remain alone.

But really?

As part of his study of the anatomy book Orwyle recommended, Aemond had drawn a diagram of what lay between a woman’s legs. And annotated it based on the advice of Lord Wylde and Prince Aegon.

You were curious to see – with the aid of a hand mirror – just how accurate the diagram and annotations were.

-

You awoke the following morning feeling more refreshed than you had since you came to the palace, from both the welcome break in your courtly duties and the exploration you had conducted in the privacy of your bath. Though you were fairly sure you did not reach a ‘peak,’ as Aemond described it, you felt close to the height of something several times. But each time, you panicked at the intensity of the racing feelings within you and withdrew your hand. Still, those few minutes of pleasure were incredibly relaxing.

And as it was Aemond’s notes that allowed you to discover the feeling that your own clumsy attempts had failed to bring, the prospect that you would – eventually – once more join him in his bed became thrilling beyond reason.

In truth, the only thing that stopped you from rushing across the castle the very moment you emerged from the bath was the unfortunate fact that you were still bleeding, though it was light.

More than that, while your body was more than ready to forgive Aemond, your heart and mind were still hesitant. He had hurt you. He made you cry. Reading his diary helped you understand that it had never been intentional. However, you still needed to understand everything before making a final decision on whether to forgive him and if you could, as Aemond hoped in his note, ‘learn to like’ or even to love him.

So, after breaking your fast, you again settled into the couch and turned to the next green ribbon.

The 23rd day in the 5th moon of the year

Were Aegon not my brother and the heir, I would throw him from the top of the Rookery.

‘A Caution for Young Girls’ is no such thing. It is little more than a manual in promiscuity and sin!

But… damn him. It is quite educational.

Unlike the book Grand Maester Orwyle suggested, it is not focused on the science of anatomy or conception. Rather, it is entirely concerned with the pleasure of women. After all, it is the supposedly true story of a woman’s quest for pleasure.

A Wylde woman, if it is to be believed. I may have to ask Lord Jasper about it. Is this why he’s had such success with his own wives?

But that, and indeed the sinful nature of the book itself, is unimportant. What is important is that it may actually be the key to my learning how to pleasure my wife.

It spoke at length of various methods of using one’s fingers. Crooking the fingers while within seems to be crucial, as is locating a ‘sweet spot’ where her walls feel slightly different. That spot, as well as the ‘pearl’ which lays at the top of her sex, is the epicentre of her pleasure.

And, like the others said, preparation is required. This is where the use of the fingers comes into it – as well as various other methods. For example, the book mentions kissing quite often, and not only on the lips. Or the cheeks. Or even anywhere on the face.

I admit the idea, though it is new to me, is quite appealing. The book mentioned several places where women most like to be kissed. The jaw, the throat, behind the ear, the nape of the neck, the collarbone…

There was a spot of ink, as though Aemond’s pen had been resting on the page without moving for a long moment.

…the breasts, and lower.

I do not understand why. Perhaps it is because of Aegon’s incessant comments about the breasts of every woman in the Keep, save our mother and his wife – would that he would also exclude my wife! – but I find myself thinking about her breasts with startling frequency. I did not get to see them on our wedding night after I foolishly forgot to undress her.

There is a story in the book which… well, I find myself wanting to replicate. One which would provide me ample access to her breasts. But more than that, it carries an intimacy which I crave most of all.

When Lady Coryanne was serving as a handmaid to a warlock in Qarth, she often found herself called to help him ‘relax’ after a long day. On such occasions, she would mount him while he sat at his desk and ‘ride’ him while he buried his face in her breasts.

I… it was easy to imagine my wife and me in a similar, though more loving, position. Likely not at my desk, as I don’t actually use it often. But perhaps, here. On my chair by the hearth, where I read my books and write in this diary before bed.

She would come back – for she would be living here, with me, not across the Holdfast and so far away – after a long day. Maybe she would have been in the gardens, or with Mother, Helaena and the children, or in the library for hours. I would have been stuck away from her all day in meetings, court, or training.

Even apart from her for only a day, I would miss her terribly. As I do every hour I do not see her. And she would miss me too.

When she came in, she would press herself against the door as she locked it, then turn to me with a mischievous grin. I would know what she wanted, but I would not play along. Instead, I’d mutter a greeting and turn back to my book, pretending that my blood was not racing at just the sight of her. For I want her blood to be as heated as mine.

You read the last paragraph again, the realisation finally set in that Aemond was about to narrate another of his fantasies. Fortunately, after his previous entry about the library, you decided to be more cautious and had already dismissed your servants until your afternoon meal. You had suspected that there may be more in the diary that was thoroughly unsuitable for prying eyes.

And, thanks to his diligent notetaking, you knew precisely what to do when the feelings such unsuitable words provoked began to burn through you.

You undoubtedly did not want an audience for that…

I would let her tease me, pretending none of it fazed me. When she brushed her fingers lightly across my shoulders, I would not flinch. When she leaned over me further than she would really need to see what I was reading, but wanting me to see that peek of her breasts nearly spilling out from her dress, I would barely look. And when she pressed a kiss, long and slow, to my neck – gods, would I like that too? – I might even pretend it was an inconvenience.

It would vex her that I did not give her the attention she desperately wanted. Not enough to truly anger her, but only enough to make her pout. So that when she took the book from my hands and dropped it to the floor, then sat atop me in the chair with her thighs straddling mine… I would simply have no choice but to grab her little lip as she stuck it out and push it back into place before kissing her.

I would kiss her in every place the book instructs, taking my time to worship every bit of her. I want to drive her as mad as she does me just by her mere existence.

But I know she would not simply let me tease her. She would return each kiss I gave her and more. Atop me, she would roll her hips slowly, purposefully, as if we were engaged in a dance. I would be able to feel her, hot and wet and as eager as me, but each time I rose to meet her, she would pull away.

Gods, am I really wishing for her to deny me? Perhaps practising as Aegon instructed has conditioned me to crave such delays to my satisfaction.

Either way, I think I would break before she did. She is strong-willed, and with as many brothers as she has, I believe she can be quite patient. So, I would beg. I would apologise for trying to tease her and plead for her forgiveness. And for her to…

She would, I hope, without hesitation. She would rise only long enough for her to remove her smallclothes and for me to do away with my trousers. Then, we would both sit again, together, with me gently guiding her down to mount me – Seven Hells, that makes it sound like I’m a horse.

I’ll be whatever she wants.

Again, and as always, I would give her a moment to adjust and make sure she is comfortable. Orwyle’s book said that with well-endowed partners – which, according to the measurements in the book, I am – women may always need that moment.

But I would be glad to give it to her. For it would allow me to unlace her bodice, and like the warlock from the book, I could bury my face in my beloved’s breasts.

I find it hard to imagine what it would be like, how they would feel. Soft, I think. Warm, as she is. And perhaps, if I pressed close enough, I could hear her heart beating.

When I was fully settled within her, would I hear it beat faster? Or would it slow with contentment, knowing she was safe and loved – oh so dearly loved – within my arms. Perhaps it would be like the stories, and I would hear it skip a beat.

Either way, I would be more than content to just sit there, breathe her in, and let her move at her own pace. We would not need to be fast, as we would in the library. In my own rooms – our rooms – there would be no need for hurry. We could just stay there, entwined, or we could move together.

I think I would prefer it slowly. Not even seeking our releases, really. Just… enjoying each other. Enjoying the connection of our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Knowing that we are one, that the gods have made us one, and that nothing can tear us apart.

Although… I do think her legs would get tired after a while. That is something I should perhaps be worried about. Especially if she did want to move, and fast. To seek release.

If she did, I would help her. The book did not detail how, as Lady Coryanne was a servant at the time, but… I could figure it out. I could move my hips up to meet hers, or even lift her on my own? I think doing so with my hands on her hips would give me the most leverage. Or perhaps her rear?

I am very drawn to the idea of holding her close as we reach our peaks. Of feeling her breath on my skin, being close enough to hear each little noise she makes, and the sensation of her gripping me as tight as she can as she comes. Even the thought of her nails digging into me brings a certain thrill. And if I don’t reach my peak with her – which, I think, is very unlikely – we can always continue. Or move somewhere more comfortable if her legs do get tired.

At this point, I think I am more than ready to practice. Of course, this wasn’t my intention when I started writing, but… yes, I am most definitely ready. And anything else I wanted to write about seems inconsequential now.

You dropped the diary onto your heaving chest, the image Aemond’s words had painted still burning in your mind. Seven Hells, you could practically feel his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you to his chest as you moved together, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered words of praise between desperate kisses.

With a hazy smile, you snuggled further into the couch and beneath your blanket. As exhilarating as the descriptions of his desires were, what truly warmed your heart was the way he wrote about you, the two of you together.

The connection of your souls as one? It was exactly what you’d dreamed of when first told of your betrothal. Aemond was what you dreamed of.

Why did he have to stop writing? What in the name of the Seven was he practising that was more important than that?

Frustrated and with your pleasure now truly over, you closed the diary and turned on your side, resigned to simply stewing in your own thoughts for the few hours left until your maids returned.

-

After a light, solitary afternoon meal, you again dismissed your maids. By this point, they were more than a little suspicious about the titleless book you were reading. But, you insisted that you simply wanted to be alone, for your moon’s blood still plagued you. It wasn’t entirely a lie. You did still have some cramping and a slight headache.

In truth, it was because you knew what would happen in just a few entries – your second night together.

It surely wouldn’t be as thrilling as some of his other fantasies. You knew that firsthand. But after learning what Aemond felt for you, you were desperate to know his side of that night.

So desperate, in fact, that you barely skimmed the following two entries in your haste to reach it. Both primarily had to do with whatever smut he had read in A Caution for Young Girls. The first was a rather exhaustive list of all the ways he wanted to kiss you – and there were far more ways than you were previously aware of.

The second caused your most intense blushing yet, for it was near treasonous! After reading another story of Coryanne Wylde ‘riding’ a man, he fantasised about you riding him while he sat on the Iron Throne. It was an intriguing idea, but it seemed a little too hazardous to tempt you.

Finally, you reached what you had been waiting for.

The 26th day in the 5th moon of the year.

I had hoped not to make an entry today – for I had every intention of spending tonight in my wife’s chambers. But she is there, and tragically, I am here.

Tonight was almost worse than our wedding night.

When I saw her watching me in the training yard today, I thought… she was almost smiling – at me! She had no obligation to be there, and yet she was! She sought me out! She wanted to see me!

I had to bite back a cry of joy and relief. I immediately abandoned the rest of my training, nearly impaling the poor squire with my sword for how hard I threw it at him, so I could rush to the ramparts and greet her.

But when I got there, she was gone. I asked a few of the other lords and ladies that were there, but no one knew where she went. Even after speaking to her, however briefly, I still do not understand why she left.

You felt your cheeks flush with shame. Aemond hadn’t grimaced at you that day – quite the opposite. He had been so excited to see you there, and as usual, you had misinterpreted his reaction.

Or, based on how frequently these misunderstandings occurred, perhaps his expressions were merely indecipherable to normal people. Or, more likely, maybe just to you.

You set his diary down, careful to use one of your discarded ribbons to mark your place, and picked up your own. By this point, you had filled several pages with your reactions to Aemond’s writing – some of it sincere, some bordering on humour.

Yet you had no words to express how sorry you were that you had so thoroughly misjudged him. So you wrote nothing and just kept reading.

When I went to her chambers to check on her, I encountered one of her maids, who told me she had retired early with a headache and would not be joining the family for dinner.

Perhaps I should have gone into her chambers then and asked what was wrong. I knew – or at least suspected – that the headache was a lie. An excuse to allow her privacy. I often do the same, citing my scar. Which, as I told her, is not always a lie.

But if I had gone to her, as I wished. I would not have known what to say. Ask her why she ran from the training yard without speaking to me? Or why she wanted to avoid me and the family? Tell her I’m sorry for the disappointment of our wedding night? Ask Beg for a second chance?

I could not do it. I was tired from training and admittedly still somewhat discombobulated from realising she had been watching me. Though I did make it to her door, I merely touched the handle for a moment before retiring to my own chambers.

Now, after yet another disastrous visit… I should have gone to her earlier. I should have trusted my instincts (as Aegon often encourages me to do) instead of allowing my mind to think itself into an inescapable hole.

As I bathed and redressed, and even while attending court and dinner, I could not stop thinking about her. Agonising over what I may have done to make her flee from me?

I never even considered that she may actually have a headache until I was again at her door after dinner. The fear that I was disturbing her, perhaps making her pain worse, was nearly enough to make me turn and flee.

But then, her voice came, soft and light and so enticing. Of course, I somehow managed to answer idiotically when she asked who it was. Though she lessened the sting of embarrassment with a small joke. She is so achingly clever!

I asked her how she was, and her answer made it evident that the headache was a ruse. I am trying not to be too proud that my deduction was correct. She is not used to lying, nor is she good at it. And it is yet another thing I admire about her.

For hours, I planned what I would say to her. It was eloquent and thoughtful – practically poetry.   

The tail of the last ‘y’ extended nearly an inch, and you imagined Aemond just staring at the page, consumed by his thoughts for a moment.

But her room looked different tonight. She finally unpacked.

There is a large tapestry above her hearth depicting her home keep, the field below filled with vibrant pink flowers with bright yellow centres. The same flowers appear nearly everywhere. On framed examples of embroidery, on her curtains, pillows, and even the blanket strewn over the back of her couch.

I must find out what they are, for they are clearly very important to her.

You looked up from the diary, glancing about your room. Indeed, you had not realised how many dog roses decorated your possessions. It was no wonder he guessed they were your favourite.

‘I was quite impressed when you brought me my favourite flower,’ you wrote in your diary. ‘I thought you had somehow read my thoughts. I suppose I made it easy for you.’

She also has a large bookcase in her sitting room, which was specifically requested when her father sent word accepting the betrothal. Since the last time I was in her chambers, she has begun to fill the shelves with books and trinkets. I spotted a small silver bell, a wooden box carved with various birds, and a little glass flower. It was not the same flower that is so prevalent elsewhere in her chambers (this one was a pale purple rather than pink), but still quite pretty.

While pondering that flower, I returned to the couch to compare it to the pink flower on her blanket and saw what she had been reading – “The Last Dragonlords,” my first, and still favourite, history of my house. It is not a particularly rigorous academic work, but I prefer it for the sense of wonder it has for the story of my ancestors.

If, at that point, I remembered any of what I wanted to say to her, the sight of that book, and the knowledge that she was somehow reading my favourite… I lost all words. I fear I fell silent for an uncomfortably long time, for she spoke next.

She wanted to know the reason for my visit. I asked her directly about the ruse of her headache. She seemed nervous, so I told her I do the same and that I often experience lingering pain. I was tempted to remove my patch and show her, but… she was already quite nervous. I did not want to make her more so, or frighten her so thoroughly that she will never warm to me.

What lay beneath his eyepatch that would frighten you so? You had heard many rumours. That his lost eye was nothing more than a pit of darkness. That he had replaced it with a jewel. That an ever-burning fire, fueled by his hatred and rage, burned within.

Despite the stories, you felt a twinge of shame and hurt that, despite his love for you, he did not trust you with seeing him truly bare. He thought you could be frightened away.

Somehow, that shame far overshadowed any curiosity or fear about what lay beneath the brown leather of his eyepatch.

I could already tell it wasn’t going to go how I wanted – she would not meet my eye. So, I offered to leave. I would not impose myself on her when she did not want me to. That is not how I want to start this. Or, start it again.

But she did want me to go! At least, that is what I thought she meant. I am not so sure anymore. She said something about my right to be there as her husband. At the time, I thought it was her shy way of asking me to stay. Now… I think she may have just been repeating something her mother or a Septa taught her.

There was another small patch of angry scribbles.

I’m so stupid! And hardly better than Aegon. No – she may not have been particularly enthusiastic, but I am sure if she genuinely did not want me there, she would have said so. And I would have obeyed. After all, she was quick to ask me to stop some of the other things I tried to do.

She did not like the kissing.

When I first mentioned that I would like to lie with her – which I foolishly reasoned was out of my desire for an heir instead of my desire for her – she simply laid on the bed like on our wedding night. But that is not what I want. I do not want this to simply be a union of duty! At least, not anymore. And I so wanted to kiss her.

So, I beckoned her to me, and she obeyed. My hopes that this would be different were still relatively high. I got closer, touched her face, and asked if I could kiss her.

And she asked, ‘Why?’

I swear that one little word hurt more than any pain I’ve felt in the training yard. Almost more than… well, not quite more than that. But close.

I could not think of any reason other than that she is my wife, and I love her and want more than anything to kiss her. I only told her the former and the latter, for I think if I told her I loved her, she would have been more afraid than if she had seen me without my patch. And the gods must be good, for she said yes.

Then I kissed her. I held her close, and I kissed her.

It was the most wonderful thing! She was soft and warm. And when I laced my hand through her hair, she made the most delightful sound! I could have just kissed her forever.

But then it was over. She shouted and pushed me away. It was… it was just after I tried to use my tongue. I don’t think she liked it.

She asked me why I ‘needed’ to kiss her. She must have disliked it very much.

I had no other explanation than what I had already offered. At least, none that I could tell her without sending her running from me forever. So I stopped and told her I did not need it – the first lie I’ve ever told her.

When she moved back to the bed, I could not help myself. I could not let us be in a marriage where we lie together out of nothing more than duty, fully clothed and anxious to get it over with. It was foolish, and I probably scared her with the request, but I asked her to remove her nightgown. She had already taken off her robe – a massive thing in her house colours that practically drowns her.

You allowed a brief kernel of anger to spark within you, enough for you to pick up your pen and write him another little message in your diary.

‘That robe is dear to me, thank you very much. What is it that makes you hate it so?’

There is nothing more beautiful in the world than her. She puts even the Maiden to shame. I would have been happy to stare at her, to take in that beauty until I had my fill – if I would ever get my fill.

She got on the bed and positioned herself exactly how she was on our wedding night. Not quite how I pictured it, but considering her hesitancy, I did not want to push her.

It took all my control to stop myself from kissing her again when I undressed and joined her. But I did. I also resisted doing anything more than just looking at her breasts.

I sat between her legs and stared at her. While I was more than ready to begin, she was not. At all. Of course, I knew I would have to prepare her, but I hoped she would have had at least some desire for me already.

I started with gentle touches, drawing circles on her thighs. She shivered a bit when I began, but she didn’t ask me to stop. From where I was sitting, I could tell she enjoyed it, even if she didn’t understand it. She did ask me to explain, and my answer was probably lacking – how does one explain why he was so inadequate? – but she gave a small nod when I promised that tonight would be better.

Then I finally touched her where I really wanted to and was delighted to find her… well, not as wet as I’d hoped, but it was an improvement upon our wedding night! I ran my fingers over her entrance, hoping to coax more wetness from her before I truly began. And when I looked at her again to ensure I wasn’t hurting her, she smiled at me!

Encouraged, I kept my fingers at her entrance, not venturing inside yet, but continuing my preparations there while I began to seek her pearl. As the books said, I only had to draw a straight line upward from her entrance to find it.

And, oh, when I found it! Her eyes snapped shut, her back arched off the bed, and the most glorious whine escaped her! It was everything I had imagined and more. Gods, I think I could have peaked just from watching her as I circled her pearl again and again, faster and faster.

But then, she asked me to stop – begged me to.

I thought I must have done something wrong, but she shook her head when I asked if it hurt. And when I asked if it felt good, she would not answer. She merely requested that I get on with what I needed to do and leave, for she was tired. This wound cut even deeper than before with the kissing.

I wanted to prepare her more – I was going to use my mouth on her. To show her how dearly I wish to please her, how much I want to worship and love her, if only she’d let me.

In anticipation of that act, I have been consulting Coryanne Wylde’s various accounts and expert critiques of the act in order to form the perfect strategy.

To begin, I would undress her, as I planned to do on our wedding night, laying gentle, nearly chaste kisses on each new bit of skin I revealed. Once she was bare, I would kiss her. Deeply. To give her a taste of what is to come. Then, I would kiss my way down. Her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, her breasts, and the plane of her stomach.

Once I made it past her navel, I would take her leg in my hand and begin a new trail of kisses upwards. The book says to start at the ankle, but I am too impatient for that – I will begin at the knee instead.

Just when she thought I was finally about to give her what she craved more than anything, I would once again change course to kiss her lips one final time. Then, I would descend.

I would start slowly, experimenting with different tactics to determine what drives her deliciously mad. Once I knew, I would feast. I would devour her like her pleasure was the air I needed to breathe. Like her cries of pleasure were beautiful music, and I would die if it ever stopped.

I would bring her to peak once with my mouth on her entrance. Again on her pearl. Then again and again in whichever way made her scream the loudest.

Only when she was so drunk with pleasure that she could no longer rise to meet my mouth or grasp at my hair would I relent. I would make my way back up to her mouth and soothe her with gentle kisses until she had regained herself and was begging for me to finally fuck her.

But I didn’t get to do any of that.

She asked me to stop, so I did. I pumped myself a little to ensure the disappointment hadn’t rendered me incapable of performing my duty and entered her.

The preparation did help. Entering her was easier, and she did not wince as much as the first time. And she felt even more heavenly somehow. The feeling was so intense that I had to take a moment to remind myself that she only wanted me to finish quickly so she would not have to endure me any longer.

So, I fucked her. I did not make love to her, as is my true desire. I just fucked her, like she was just any woman and not the love of my life.

And then, a miracle! I thrust into her, something about the angle allowing me in quite deep, and she reacted. She gasped, breathless, and her hips snapped up to meet mine. I froze in surprise and elation. I found her ‘sweet spot!’

But when I smiled at her, she turned away and refused to look at me again.

I just kept going. I did not try to hit that spot again, so as to not upset her further. I finished as quickly as I could and left the bed.

It was stupid of me, but I turned back to her after dressing. Everything had gone so horribly, but I still love her. I still need her. So I could not just leave her like that.

I asked if I could kiss her again. She let me. I was quick, as promised.

Then I came back here, once again alone and no closer to earning her love than I was before.

I must meet with my advisors again tomorrow. Perhaps they can help me understand why I keep fucking this up so badly when all I want is for her to let me love her the way I want to and for her to love me in return.

Your heart ached so severely that you thought there might be bruises when you looked down at your chest. But there was just skin – skin that Aemond would have happily kissed, had you let him.

As horrible and confusing as that night had been for you, it had been so tenfold for Aemond. He had wanted a grand, romantic evening, and you had greeted him with only coldness and suspicion.

He called you ‘the love of his life.’ You ran your finger over those words so many times that they became smudged, then went to write something in your diary but halted with your pen hovering over the paper.

What could you write to match what he’d said about you? Even if you could, would it really be true? How many times could you say, ‘I’m sorry?’

Well, at least one more time. ‘I’m so sorry, Aemond,’ you wrote, ‘I didn’t know, and I was still scared. Not of you, but of what I thought my life was to be. If you had only told me… I do not blame you, I swear. I just wish the both of us had been more honest with each other.’

You were far too exhausted to continue. It was not yet midafternoon, and you had already been from the near-heights of carnal pleasure to the depths of your despair that the unfortunate state of your marriage was, in actuality, mostly your fault.

So, after setting Aemond’s diary aside, you picked up your embroidery basket and began to work while your mind wandered.

It was only when your maids arrived to bring you dinner that you realised that, somehow, the dog roses you intended to make had become a sprawling wisteria vine.

-

You dreamed of the castle garden in late spring when all the flowers were in bloom. As you walked down the garden path, you saw every colour imaginable amongst the vibrant greens. But there was only one flower you really wanted to see – and the man you knew would be waiting for you beneath them.

Just as the first purple tendrils came into view, the dream faded, and you woke to see the first hints of dawn still beneath the horizon.

Drawing your blankets over your head, you squeezed your eyes shut and stubbornly tried to fall back asleep and return to your dream – to no avail. You were well and truly awake. And it would be some time before your maids came to dress you for the day.

So, dragging the blanket from your bed with you, you trudged back into your solar and settled into the couch before picking up Aemond’s diary again.

The 27th day in the 5th moon of the year

I met with Lord Wylde, Grand Maester Orwyle, and Aegon this morning. They had advice, but it was not as… straightforward as I had hoped. There is no simple trick to get her to love me. Nothing I can study from a book and then implement with assured success.

I have to woo her. I have to be witty and pleasant and charming and… romantic.

I do not think this is going to work.

Especially not after my first attempt was so disastrous.

Lord Wylde asked that I tell him about her, so I did. When he learned she enjoys reading as much as I do, he suggested I try to find common ground there. So, I went to try and find her in the library.

She was exactly where she was the last time I saw her there, still reading “The Last Dragonlords.” I watched her for a moment, savouring the look of contentment on her face as she read, as well as a few quick reactions to the book. How I love it when her nose scrunches in displeasure!

‘That is quite the odd thing to fixate on,’ you wrote in your diary. It seemed a decent night’s sleep had helped recover some of your humour. ‘What is it, in particular, that you like about my scrunched nose?’

She did smile at me when I approached, but I think she thought I was a Maester, for her smile faltered when I greeted her. And she was so shy. Usually, when I struggle to find the right words, she breaks the silence. Today, she did not.

At least it gave me time to remember why I came to the library. She was still reading “The Last Dragonlords,” so I told her it was my favourite and asked if I could join her. I think she was somewhat embarrassed about reading a children’s book, but I assured her it was no matter and that I would nonetheless enjoy reading it with her, and she allowed me to sit with her.

My plan was to sit with her, discuss the histories, and perhaps, in time, hold her hand as a first step toward genuine affection. But the plan quickly went awry.

It all happened so fast that I don’t even remember exactly what I said. But somehow, I insinuated that she was not intelligent enough to understand the book. The book meant for children – young children.

She was very upset with me. Rightfully so! Still upset enough that she stormed out of the library after making several cutting remarks that proved that she is, in fact, quite intelligent.

After several minutes and a brief reprimand from one of the Maesters, I finally gathered myself enough to realise that she had left the book there. As well as several pages of notes.

Of course, the noble thing would have been to not look and ask a servant to return them to her. But in that moment, I was desperate, not noble. So, I looked.

Her notes were beautifully organised and remarkably thorough – the work of a true scholar! She even crafted a beautiful family tree all the way through Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters. Had I not fumbled our initial interaction so entirely, we would have had a wonderful discussion.

You had feared him finding the notes, but you had never considered that he would be impressed rather than arrogantly amused. It made sense now that you knew his true nature. Perhaps, once whatever was between you was resolved, you could have that discussion.

In all honesty, there were a few questions you had that you hoped he would be able to answer. Not least of which being why in more than a thousand years, Targaryens had only come up with a dozen names that they repeated over and over again. You wrote as much in your diary.

It was useless for me to sulk in the library, agonising over what I should have said, so I gathered the book and her notes and left the library.

An apology was more than necessary, so I went to Aegon’s rooms. After all, there is perhaps no one with more experience apologising to women. Even if his apologies are self-serving.

When I arrived, I found Mother had already found Aegon first, and was well into another tirade about his behaviour. Normally, I would be happy to watch Mother yelling at him, but I did not feel I had time to. And Aegon was glad that I granted him a reprieve.

Admittedly, I had not wanted to admit to Mother that my wife and I were… not as close as I wanted. But, as she always is, she was eminently understanding, and far more helpful than Aegon was. His only suggestion was to bring her something nice – jewels, silks, or the like.

On the other hand, Mother gave me sage advice on what to say when I go to her. As my words have been my primary point of failure, I was very grateful for this. She did also say that a gift would not be amiss. An ‘offering of peace,’ she called it. But she advised something personal, not luxurious. If the gift is too valuable, she says, it will seem as if I am trying to buy her forgiveness rather than earn it.

I knew immediately what I should get her. I thanked Mother (and Aegon) and left at once for the gardens.

I found them – the flowers she loves so dearly. Dog roses, they are called. Unfortunately, they do not grow well in our climate, but the Maester’s managed to coax a few to bloom with their various potions and other horticultural creations.

They are almost as beautiful as her.

The Maester I spoke to said that it would be best if I had them cut just before I brought them to her, to preserve their beauty. So that is what I will do.

I will not practice tonight. At least… not that kind of practice. Instead, I will rehearse my apology. I cannot fail tomorrow.

You winced slightly, knowing that the next day would not go as Aemond planned and feeling as though it was your fault. But there was no changing that now. And you had already apologised – often and profusely.

So, you wrote only a simple note: ‘I don’t recall seeing dog roses on our tour of the gardens. Did you pluck them all?’

Looking back at his diary, you took a deep, steadying breath. Only two ribbons left.

The 28th day in the 5th moon of the year

I am the stupidest, most idiotic man in all the seven fucking kingdoms.

All I was trying to do was apologise to her for my unkind – though unintentionally so! – words in the library, but somehow it ended with her crying and me fleeing from her chambers yet again.

You cringed at the memory, almost not wanting to read on.

Aegon gladly offered his explanation, even after I told him I did not want it. He insists that I have so thoroughly repulsed her that she cannot help but burst into tears at the sight of me.

Mother thinks that she is just missing her family and her home, as she said. That she is overwhelmed by being alone in a strange place, and the familiar sight of the flowers – dog roses, as I have learned – brought those feelings to bursting.

Perhaps Mother is right. But her parents left a fortnight ago, and she has shown no other signs of homesickness. And she is not alone! She has the other ladies of the court to talk to, and Helaena and Mother adore her. And me.

If she came to me, I would do anything to cheer her. Not that she would seek comfort from me, no matter how dearly I wish she would. She certainly won’t after today.

After the disaster in the library yesterday and the scolding I received from Grand Maester Orwyle after my training this morning, I knew beyond a doubt that I needed to apologise. I… the shame I feel for having played any part in the state Orwyle described her in is unbearable.

So, I went to the gardens and had a Maester cut the flowers for me and arrange them in a simple bouquet.

She was on her couch when I arrived in her rooms – still in her nightgown and that robe. And again, she did not look at me. She had eyes only for the flowers. I thought then that they had been the right choice.

I apologised, but she did not react. She still just stared at the bouquet. So, I went ahead with the rest of my apology.

Then she touched my hand. It startled me, and I pulled away from her on instinct, dropping the bouquet in her lap. She looked at them like I had dropped a helpless kitten rather than flowers!

And she started crying. Softly, the tears welling in her eyes for a long moment before spilling over. I do not understand what I did to upset her. I said only what I had planned last night. It was so hard to resist brushing the tears away, but she seemed nearly volatile, and I did not want to make things worse.

‘I miss home,’ she said, finally.

It did sting that she does not consider King’s Landing and her life with me her home – it still does. But she is hundreds of miles away from the family of her birth, from the people who have undoubtedly treated her better than I have. I cannot blame her.

I apologised again for upsetting her and left.

At dinner, I had planned to ask Mother and Grandsire if we could find a way to send her home, at least for a little while. So she could be happy. Perhaps I could even go with her. I might have an easier time talking to her without the pressures of my family and the capital upon me.

You smiled at the thought of Aemond at your home keep. Of him in all his black leather among the fields of dog roses. Talking with your father in the library. Him training with your brothers – you were confident he could defeat any one of them alone, but knowing your brothers, they would absolutely gang up on him.

‘One day,’ you wrote, ‘I would love to show you my home.’

I was waiting for the opportunity to ask when she arrived! After this afternoon, I did not think she would come to dinner, but she did! I could have wept for my relief.

And when I offered my hand to her, she took it. Not only that, but she squeezed it – hard. I think believe it was her way of accepting my apology.

She did not speak during dinner, nor did anyone ask her too many questions. Aegon was his typically infuriating self, silently encouraging me to do something with her. What he expects me to do when in front of the entire family, I do not know.

After the meal, I offered to escort her back to her chambers, which she accepted. And once we were alone, she thanked me for the flowers!

It was going unusually well. That is, until I decided to open my mouth. I only meant to compliment her, as she did look quite beautiful, but… I just kept talking. And then I had suddenly insulted her gown from yesterday and her robe.

She closed herself off from me then, shoving away my arm. Why could I not just shut up? I know my words are the source of so many of our misunderstandings, yet I keep talking! At this point, I am strongly considering a vow of silence.

‘Please don’t take a vow of silence!’ you wrote, scrambling for your diary as if it mattered how quickly you got the words down. ‘Your voice is far too lovely for me to never hear it again.’

Tomorrow, I am going to try a suggestion from Lord Wylde. Show her that I am not a failure in everything I do. I pray it works.

You turned the page, expecting to find the entry for the next day, but there was none. There had been a page between the entries for the 28th and the 30th, but it had been sloppily torn out. All that remained was the beginnings of the date in the upper corner.

It was entirely against what you knew of Aemond. The man who had dutifully started his journal on the first day of the year and began each entry on a new page would not do something like this.

What had upset him so? Had you said something to him?

No, of course not. The only time you had seen him that day was in the training yard, and you hadn’t spoken to each other, not after… not after he stormed off. Had he actually been hurt in his fight with the Kingsguard? Or was he just embarrassed that you had witnessed him fall?

Gods, how you wished you had gone to him that night. But perhaps you could make up for it now.

‘After you were absent for dinner,’ you wrote to him in your diary, ‘I almost came to your rooms. I was worried for you. Though I confess, that was the only reason I found myself walking toward you… I missed you, at dinner. I missed you helping me into my chair. I missed your smile. I missed the way you’d hold the plates for me. Most of all, I missed your voice, and your presence next to me.’

You sniffled slightly, staring at a lamp on your wall to dry the tears that were forming before finishing the entry, ‘I’ve missed you these past days, as well. But I’m almost done. I’ll see you soon.’

The 30th day in the 5th moon of the year

I have made my gravest sin yet. And my most foolish.

We had the perfect morning together in the gardens. Silent, mostly, but perfect. She smiled at me! She allowed me to lead her through the gardens on my arm. It was… precisely what I had hoped for.

Until I once again acted like an absolute fucking fool.

Before I had to leave for court, I asked if I could come to her rooms that night. And for one perfect moment, I really believed she was going to say yes.

But then she mentioned her moon’s blood, and I just… panicked. I am not entirely an idiot (though I become less sure of that declaration with each passing moment), I know what that means.

It means that I’ve failed her. In even more ways than I knew.

I have made her miserable. I have made her cry. I have failed in every duty of a good husband, including the most basic of tasks – I have not given her a child.

I cannot go on like this – trapped in an endless cycle of misery where I can do nothing but hurt the both of us. I must do something to free us from this.

It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t love or even like me. I just want her to be happy. If that means that I never get to see her or love her again, I will make myself accept that.

First, she needs to know why I’ve acted this way. To know my true feelings so she can decide what she wants me to do. Gods, if she wanted me to go to Essos and never return, I would.

A blot of ink covered half the page, as though he had simply set his pen down while he thought.

I know what to do. I just pray she understands.

“I understand,” you said aloud, as though Aemond were before you. But, of course, he wasn’t. He was halfway across the castle, a distance that suddenly felt like the Narrow Sea itself. Throwing down your blanket, you shouted for your maids to dress you at once, your morning meal be damned. The moment finished tying off the last lace of your gown, you ran.

You had only been shown where Aemond’s chambers were once – on your first tour of the Holdfast. Then, you did not know whether to be disappointed or thankful that they were far from yours. Now, as your nervousness flooded through every part of your body, you hated the distance more than anything.

Each step was an effort, as with every one, your legs felt heavier and heavier, as if they were made of iron. Your blood felt as though it was rushing dangerously fast, carrying with it a marked chill. Despite feeling frozen within, sweat still somehow beaded at your brow. Yet you could not wipe it away, for your hands were all but stitched to the two diaries you carried.

Was this a terrible idea? Would Aemond laugh at you for all your silly little notes? Would he be angry with you for taking days to fulfil his request? You came to a halt in the middle of the corridor, tears prickling in your eyes as you considered so many horrible possibilities.

No, you thought, the word echoed by the impact of your foot on stone as you took a heavy, sure step forward.

The Aemond you thought you knew would do those things. But that Aemond wasn’t real – and never was. He had only ever lived in your terrified imagination.

The real Aemond was the one who had been so awestruck upon first seeing you that he could not say anything other than your name. Who had fallen for you so quickly and with such intensity that he forgot how to act like a proper person and instead stumbled over his words and actions like a drunk man through a crowded alley. Who had been so desperate for you to return his affections that he swallowed his pride to seek help. And who had finally given you his diary when he could think of no other way to show you how he really felt and who he truly was.

It was the thought of finally meeting that Aemond that made you put one foot in front of the other, faster and faster, until you were sprinting down the halls, only stopping when you came to the door you had seen only once before – his door.

You did not understand how you had found it again after only seeing it only once before. Nor did you remember knocking on the smooth, dark wood.

But then you heard footsteps approaching.

Hastily, you transferred the diaries to one hand and wiped the sweat from your brow with the sleeve of the other. You wanted to straighten your hair, for it had surely come loose from its braid after running so fast. But there was no time for that.

There was the dull, metallic sound of the door being unlatched, and then there he was.

Aemond stood before you, breathing heavily himself as though he, too, had been running. His silver hair was mussed, and there were smudges of purple beneath his widened eyes – his eyes.

He was not wearing his eyepatch.

Your mouth fell open at the sight. At least one of the rumours had been true. Beneath the raised, rough skin of his scar, in place of his lost eye, was a brilliant blue sapphire. It suited him perfectly and was perhaps the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

He looked at you for a moment, the corners of his mouth lifting in a hesitant smile before realising what had caught your attention so thoroughly.

“Oh gods,” he whispered, covering the sapphire with his hands and turning away. He took a few steps into the room before speaking again. “I did not mean for you to see this. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please…”

You said nothing. Silently, you moved into the room and shut the door. Aemond stared at you, his good eye watering as you approached him.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again. “You should not have had to – ” He startled when you brought your free hand up to his wrist and started trying to tug his hand away from his face. “What are you…?”

When your only response was to continue tugging, he relented, allowing you to lower his hand. He swallowed thickly, fixing his good eye on the wall behind you instead of at you. Seeing his shyness, and now knowing it for what it was, almost made you smile.

But your own shyness took hold of you as you guided his hand down and wrapped it around the spines of the twin journals you held. When you looked back up at Aemond, he was staring at them and the green ribbon that now marked a page within your diary.

“I don’t understand,” he breathed, tightening his hold on the books.

With a slight smirk, you gazed up at him and dropped your hand from the diaries. “It’s your turn.”

[heedmywarnings]

One last time

(Full Chapter)

In which you insult them one last time. (Aka me insulting pixels even tho I'm on Hiatus)

(Written when I was on Hiatus lmfao)

Warning: Cursing, lots of them.

》 - Chapter 2

Masterlist

♤~-~♤

You were finally captured. It took three months to get where you are, standing before you are the Archons who participated in the hunt, and now they will execute you.

"Before you here, is the Impostor that stole our beloved deity's face" Barbatos started, looking down upon the people, "As if you didn't" you said, barely a whisper "Would you like to repeat that, thief?" The Goddess of Justice whispered on your ear as she pulled your hair, "I SAID, AS IF YOU DIDN'T" you repeated, the crowd gasps because they are very very shocked because they gasped.

Also this moon cake im eating doenst taste good.

"What?"

"You were born from the desires of people, meaning if Decarabian wasn't a tyrant then you wouldn't even be born!" The crowd screams defending the Wind God, "Oh come on! He stole the face of his DEAD friend!" You yelled, "Don't get me started with how he abandoned his nation for the tyrants to just invade Mond. Lady Venessa freed Mondstadt from the Lawrence clan!" Technically, Venti did help but you need to get the crowd on your side.

"That's enough," Ei said approaching you as she unsheath her sword, "You also abandoned your nation! What? because your sister, THE TRUE RULER of Inazuma died?" At this point everyone is appalled.

"T-"

"Don't even get me started with you, you rat tailed motherfucker. You literally made a deal with the fatui, you knew Childe was gonna summon Osial and you let it happen. More so, you faked your own death because you didn't feel like ruling over Liyue? Or was it because you finally understood that you're just incapable of being an Archon? The only reason you survived the Archon War was the adepti and yaksha that you expended!"

"..."

"And who's to say you didn't commit any crime?" Ei said after the shock had dissipated, "What crime!? How do you think a mere mortal were to steal a God's face!?" You screamed through a horse voice, now you've got everyone talking, (like the jury in the Ace Attorney.)

"Is your god suffering from sever little-bitchitis to the point you'd hunt anybody who look REMOTELY similar to them?"

The Archons were stunned, it seemed like you made everyone hold their breathe. "Such blasphemy won't go unforgi-" "I don't need your forgiveness, you cockroach arthritis-suffering bitch," you cut Zhongli off.

"Hey now...let's not say something will regret, huh?" Nahida said, through the familiar gentle voice, "I won't regret anything that comes out of my mouth." You replied, not finding any reasons why Nahida should be insulted.

"By far, the only Archon that ever helped the Traveller was the Dendro Archon! And she was even locked up!" You said, "You, Barbatos, you just avoided any talk about traveller's twin. Morax, why did you sign a contract that silences you about their twin? Do they scare you that much? Are you really that weak and pathetic?" You said apathetically and sarcastically.

"I am under a contract, and I must abide by that contract," Zhongli replied with a more... confident form, you can't wait to crush it, "Didn't you also sign a contract with the mortals of Teyvat that you'd never hurt them? WELL WHAT ABOUT ME? WHY AM I AM EXCEPTION?" Technically, he didn't, but if they were gonna use lies and deception to win this argument, you might as well do the same.

"Because you're nothing but an Impostor, not even worthy to be called human" Ei said, striking her blade on your thigh, you gasped in pain. "Hah! And what are you? You were an Impostor that created another Impostor because you can't handle the guilt of being one!" At this point it was useless to argue, they were pissed off but the people? They don't believe you, but they've also lost faith to their Gods.

And so, what did you achieve? Death and your name on the history textbooks saying that you were the reason that Teyvat rebelled against their Gods...

So, are you ready to resurrect later in life to attack the Archons (verbally) once more?

Next chapter coming out idk when

[dotster001]

Hello dear writer. I really enjoy reading your twisted wonderland stories. Can you please write a funny fanfic for me?The plot is as follows: the headmaster summons Grimm to his office to appoint him as the photographer for a "beauty pageant" to be held at the college. Grimm agrees to a can of tuna, but since he is very mischievous, he takes pictures of everyone unexpectedly and funny. For example, he can photograph Riddle sitting on the toilet and reading a newspaper. Ace when he secretly ate the "not birthday" cake. Leon with Cheka. Epel in the bath with foam.In general, all of our favorite students, whom Grimm caught on camera at the most inopportune moment. Please🥺

Look at This Photograph

A/N: an anon gave me an idea for a sequel, so just let me know if you want it, hee hee

3k followers Masterlist

"God no," you groaned. 

"Well, you don't have a choice. In my generosity, I can overlook the recent incident, but only if you do what I ask of you."

You gave a pointed glare at Grim, who looked up from licking his paw, and sighed heavily.

"Y/N and I have a deal, where the next time I caused a disaster, I had to do the accompanying task myself."

"A-alone?" Crowley stuttered.

"Yup."

"Like, no Y/N?"

"Yeah."

You leaned forward, the threat clear in your voice. "Grim is the one who blew up the lab, so he should do your little task. Something wrong with that?"

"No! You-you've been so generous up to this point, Y/N."

"Good," you said simply, standing up and giving Grim a final glare.

"Behave, or so help me God-"

"I'll behave! Who do you think I am?"

You gave an unconvinced look, before turning on your heel, and leaving the office.

Crowley handed Grim a camera.

"Get to it, before I change my mind."

….

Riddle had few moments of peace in his life. Especially since the newest batch of freshmen had arrived this year. As much as he was certain the mirror wasn't wrong, and they would grow to fit the ideals of the queen, it was hard to believe it. Ace in particular…

He flipped the page of his newspaper from home. It's not like his mother would fill him in, so he had to fill himself in. 

He was done with his business by now, he just needed a break!

*SNAP*

Startled, he looked up, momentarily blinded by the flash. As his vision cleared, he saw Grim look at a camera, nod, and scamper off. In his shock, he couldn't even utter an "off with your head".

….

Leona hated babysitting.

Well…

That's what he always told himself.

But "princess tea party" wasn't half bad.

As long as he pretended to sip tea every once in a while, Cheka didn't mind if he took naps.

*SNAP*

Momentarily blinded, he heard his nephew giggle, and mutter something about a "silly kitty". But when his vision cleared, it was just the two of them.

….

"Jade, no, if people knew…"

"They won't even suspect."

This was followed by the sounds of heavy making out.

Azul threaded his fingers through Jade's hair, momentarily playing with the long black strand, before closing his eyes again, and just being in the moment.

"Would it really be so bad if people knew?"

He knew Jade made jokes like that, because, in the moment, he liked the way a stiff Azul would cling to him just a miniscule amount tighter.

He didn't truly mean it. He knew Azul was terrified about people calling him soft, and if people assumed Jade had gotten his position solely for being Azul's boyfriend-

*SNAP*

Both mers had miniscule panic attacks. While they had grown accustomed to land, they were used to living in near solid darkness. Whatever just flashed in their faces, felt truly unnatural.

"This is a surprise," Jade heard a well known voice mutter.

If it weren't for his poor boyfriend, he could have taken care of the problem right there.

….

As much as Epel hated Vil's nagging, his skin had never been better.

A cold cream on his face, cucumber on his eyes, a bubble bath with foam specifically designed to make him sparkle?

Sevens, his nighttime routine was the part that was worth putting up with Vil's nag sessions for. 

He took the cucumbers off his eyes, looked around to make sure no one was watching, and made himself a bath foam beard.

"Oh ho ho, Sir Humphreys, are you jealous of my excessive manliness?" Epel boomed in a comically deep voice.

*SNAP*

You get the idea by now. Epel inhaled some of his foam beard, choked a bit, and completely missed whoever took the photo.

….

"Oh! Prefect, I didn't see you there!" Malleus gasped, bowing deeply before a stone gargoyle in a set of ruins he was exploring.

"What? Run away with you?" He covered his mouth in shock, before sidling into the "lap" of the gargoyle/prefect .

"I'm not saying no," he gently caressed where you collarbone would be, his facing moving closer to "your" face. "This is all just," he breathed heavily against "your" mouth, "so sudden."

*SNAP*

….

"As you all remember, we are having a beauty pageant at NRC."

Everyone nodded.

"Well, in my generosity, I remembered that candid shots allow the photo to look more natural, which in turn accentuates your natural beauty. So I have had Grim taking photos of you-"

"That's what those are for?" Ace shouted. "He snapped a picture of me eat-" he trailed off as he side eyed Riddle, "doing some stuff."

The Heartslaybul vice housewarden gave him a suspicious glare, but luckily Riddle himself was distracted.

"It is not okay to take photos of people on the toilet! Candid or not!" Riddle shouted, face turning a crimson it hadn't even been during his overblot.

"My nephew is not legally allowed to be photographed!"

"I have an image to uphold! An expensive image to uphold."

"MY LIEGE WILL SMITE YOU BEFORE ANYONE SEES HIS SHAME!"

Malleus was greatly regretting actually being invited to a meeting.

"Monsieur fuzzball, shall we have a chat about the photos you took of me?" Rook asked with a smile, his eyes flickering venomously.

"I deleted yours," Grim whispered with a shiver.

"Tres Bien," Rook smiled, rustling the top of Grim's head.

"Well let's see what all this is about," Trein moved to grab the camera, but every single student in the area started yelling and grabbing at it.

"Bad boys! Sit!" Crewel shouted with a smack of his pointer. But it seemed to no avail, as a crowd of angry mages chased a tiny gray cat out of the room.

Trein, meanwhile, was laughing uproariously as he scrolled through the photos.

[littlemessyjessi]

I feel, deep in my bones, that one could summon fae!Felix by repeating that bit he does in Topline thrice over in a mirror: BOM DIGI DIGI BOM BOM BOM BOM and maybe it works faster if you try to 'go deep' with it... or maybe this is just stuck in my head in an audio stim kind of way and I live in the land of delulu

A Guide to Summoning Your Faelix: AKA Faerie Felix / the most sweetest thing in the world.

FAE FELIX?

Ok!

SO let's do this!

First, we'll need to set the mood. Obviously, we're gonna need blue. It is his favorite color. Even though poor baby was recently heartbroken because the color analyst told him that blue doesn't work for him. Even though OBVIOUSLY that is incorrect! He is gorgeous in blue. Precious baby. How dare they? Unacceptable.

So, I just feel like it's absolutely NECESSARY that we include blue for the baby chick. Fuck them color swatches.

NEXT! Brownies as an offering. Non negotiable. Here is his recipe. Enjoy. They are fantastic.

Third.... we must call on the spirit of Bang Chan for he can always find his Lixie. Plus, he's our resident source of Lixie information. If he doesn't know, he'll figure it out for us. Bang Chan for President.

Now, it's time to get down to business. This is very serious. Set the lights. Turn on the music. Look in the mirror and say it.

Put all the bass you got in your voice and ..... POOF!

Congratulations! You have completed your very first summoning.

Now, let's discuss care for your Fae Felix.

First and foremost, he is going to require lots of love and affection. If you do not feel as if you can provide adequate love and affection for your Faelix then please reconsider.

If your Faelix does not receive adequate time, care and affection then he will cry. And subsequently, I will come to beat your ass.

BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! DON"T YOU DARE MAKE THIS BABY SUNSHINE CHICKEN CRY! THIS MEANS WAR!

And! I'm telling Minho! And he'll help me whoop ass. So be prepared and think about that when moving forward with your Faelix.

Minho is watching...

Always watching.

Perhaps, a Hyunjinnie would be more suitable for you or perhaps a Minho. They still require love and affection but they do understand that everyone needs alone time.

Though, if you do choose to summon Minho... god help you.

If you have an aversion to copious amounts of physical displays of love and affection, PLEASE AND I AM BEGGING YOU... do NOT summon yourself a Changbinnie. He WILL be giving you his love and you WILL like it.

Fair warning.

But back to Faelix.

Now, please remember that your Faelix can handle some spice but not exceedingly so.

Be mindful of his dietary needs.

If not he'll scream.

On that note, you are going to need to stock up on rice cakes. Trust me. And probably fried chicken. Just do it.

It is also important to note that your Faelix is also sensitive to scary things so he's not likely to be a horror movie buddy for you. If you really, really, REALLY want him to... he'll do it to make you happy. However, he will basically turn your room into a nest at night and cover you with cuddles all night long... because he's scared to death. Poor Lixie. You will have a much better experience if you pick a comedy or action. He'll still cuddle you (if you want it) but it won't be out of fear. And nobody wants a scared Lix. He deserves to be happy.

Also, on this note of Fae Felix. Just so you know, you're not supposed to give fairies your name. No matter how much they beg.

However, Felix is literally the one that you could tell anything and he wouldn't use it against you. You're secret is safe with him. As is your soul.

Now, in summary : It's all important but here are your TOP 3 to remember!

Number One: Please provide adequate love, affection and care for your Faelix.

Number Two: Please mind his dietary needs and plan accordingly. Give him whatever he wants. Or else he is going to become insane.

Number Three: The Final and Most Important Rule of All

Remember that Minho is watching... always watching.

He sees all.

He knows all.

I know, You know, We know, Lee Know

Thank you for coming to my presentation and have a nice day.

Please help yourself to a treat on your way out. We're serving brownies. Obviously.

..............

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this crazy tangent of mine and thank you so much for sending it in!

Love, K

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[creative-frequency]

Raphael x Reader: Act I: The Words

Summary: Despite your drunken ravings tonight, you still remain Raphael's most precious client. And he always takes good care of his clients. This is the third flashback oneshot for the main story. Word count: 2963 Notes: Drunk Tav, a devil and some unresolved romantic tension.

My writing masterlist

Why was the Underdark so gods damn… uneven?

You had to squint to see where to put your foot next amidst the rocks. And even then it didn’t go where you aimed to. Your knee and ankle ached with each step and it was easier to just drag the leg after you instead of walking properly-ish. Your prevailing state of intoxication didn’t exactly make moving easier, but alcohol did help in numbing the pain as much as the temporary solitude did this far away from camp.

Stupid bulette. Stupid tadpole. And most importantly stupid you for not preparing well enough for a road trip in the Underdark. Who knew how many days you would have to spend underground. 

There was no one around to take the irritation out on, but… you did possess the means to summon a certain someone to listen to your nescient complaining. Was it smart? Of course not. You would most likely have to pay for the senseless act of stupor, but being less medicated and more drunk than you would’ve liked to be, somehow made the idea sound absolutely perfect! Like poking a sleeping devil in the eye.

You lifted up your hand, glared at the magic ring with burning ire and recited the incantation:

“Dominus! Inferiooor ad ge–, ad me– shit. AD TE. Me flerco–, me… fleurgh, ugh. For fuck’s sake. Flecto inferni.”

Nothing happened, no surprise there, but your brows furrowed furiously as you squinted to look around. No flames or cinders were to be seen.

“Get your ass over here, you stupid devil,” you cursed and kicked a pebble into the darkness. The sounds of it tumbling down echoed in the chasm.

“You would do well to mind your manners.”

“Oh–!”

You fell promptly to your butt on the cold, hard ground and wailed aloud since your injured leg bent painfully.

What stood in front of you was not the handsome man you had expected to see. It was a towering devil; red skin, majestic horns, leathery, gargantuan wings and claws at his fingertips. His eyes were no longer soft brown, but instead they burned with deep saffron, surrounded by inky black.

Raphael the devil had a pained look on his face and he was pinching the bridge of his nose.

You struggled to get up to save some modicum of self-respect in front of your patron, but trying to put weight on the leg made you wince instantly.

“A tumultuous evening, I presume?” Raphael asked, looking at you from dirt-caked hair down to the injured leg.

“What?”

“I see you’ve decided to take the scenic route to rock bottom tonight. Why haven’t you healed yourself, little raven?” he asked and tutted.

“I am doing it right now,” you replied quickly and a ravaging blush rose to your face. You would have rather died than admitted to the devil that you had ventured into the Underdark ill-prepared.

“Then why, pray tell, are you bothering me?” The snarling words revealed a glimpse of sharp canines.

You braced yourself and channelled the earlier irritation back through the stinging pain. There were also the three times you had already had to explain why you wore a ring in your ring finger and why the infernal rune R was carved on it. You still absolutely refused to take the easy way out and just comply with Raphael’s absurd practical joke with the ring. You would never ever pretend to be married just for his amusement.

There. You were irritated enough to tell stupid, handsome Raphael why you were bothering him tonight.

“I have WORDS for you. So. Uh. Listen carefully, Raph.” Your body swayed a little on the cold, hard ground. Trying to focus on Raphael’s burning stare was immeasurably difficult.

His eye twitched, but that was the only visible reaction. Though, he looked immeasurably displeased.

Scraping around the leftovers of your dignity, your back straightened and you started yapping:

“I have given my, MINE only, soul to you, but you – hic! – won’t remove this teeny tiny” – you made a point to show the size of the worm by pinching your thumb and index finger almost together and squinting at the space inbetween – “worm from my head.”

Before you could finish inhaling for the next words, Raphael leaned right to your face (you couldn’t help realising how huge his horns were!) and snarled:

“You haven’t given anything yet. And with that tadpole eating away at your brain, you might not have a soul to offer in the end.”

You gulped and your hand dropped. Your brain was processing rather slowly, but this revelation caused pause. Mind flayers didn’t possess souls. Well, not knowing before your outburst turned out to be just embarrassing.

Raphael pointed a sharp claw in the air and continued:

“Be grateful that I’m willing to uphold our bargain, forasmuch as I’m invested in your success, my due payment relies on it.”

You didn’t know what to say. Suddenly it became apparent that Raphael found this deal far less favourable than you did. All this time you had thought he had arranged the shorter stick for you to pick and that devils didn’t make bargains that weren’t advantageous to them.

“See that this is the last time you bring this up.”

Nodding furiously, but stopping just as quickly because it made your head spin, you said: “Uh-huh, yes, saer.”

You hiccuped and the pitiful sound echoed from the rocks around you.

Raphael straightened up. “Good. Time to go, then.”

You were sure he was going to just leave you to sit on the ground, but with the snap of his fingers, you found yourself at the House of Hope in the familiar dining room – still inelegantly sitting on the marble floor. And you hiccuped again.

Raphael sighed heavily, though you thought you noticed a hint of amusement in there. He walked over to you and before you could protest, leaned over to lift you into his arms as if you weighed nothing.

“This is emrass–, embar-…sing. Just. Let me down!” you yelped, but held on to his shoulders. He was so tall and you were so high up in his arms that it was enough to trigger reasonable fear of heights.

“Glad we agree on something, little raven,” Raphael muttered.

He walked towards a hallway in resolute steps. People dressed in rags scurried away to give the master of the house a wide berth. There was a faint jingle with each step and in your state of inebriation you were almost sure you were just imagining it.

“Where are you taking– hic! Me?”

“To heal.”

You were taken aback.

“Why?”

An almost smug half-smile twisted Raphael’s lips. His mouth too seemed huge in comparison to yours.

“As I’ve told you, I take care of my clients and despite your drunken ravings tonight, you still remain one of my most precious ones.”

Oh. Heat ravaged your face. Did the devil like you?

Door after door passed as the hallway curved. Each breath teased your dulled senses with Raphael’s scent: surprisingly sweet and musky with smoke somewhere in there. It was gradually lulling your consciousness, as you slowly sobered up, into comfort within the devil’s arms.

As he carried you, you settled to stare at his pretty face from such a close distance. You had never seen a cambion this close. The booze was probably shielding you from freaking out. Despite the infernal red shade of his skin and the burning eyes, his facial features were the same. The same dark eyelashes and brown curls at the tips of his hair.

Raphael was pretending as if he didn’t notice you staring, or he just didn't care. But his lips looked soft and you wondered how they would look like travelling the planes of your naked skin. You bit your lower lip, already feeling the heat and pressure gather between your thighs.

Raphael glanced at your face with an unreadable expression. Could devils smell dirty thoughts? Gods, you hoped not. Your cheeks were blazing.

“Tell me, Raph,” you blurted to divert his attention.

His molten eyes narrowed with warning. You failed to notice as you were busy looking anywhere but at his face.

“Is there a practical reason you’re sooo handsome? Hah! A handsome devil, just like–, just like…”

You couldn’t figure out what the devil was like until his icy stare shut you up.

“S-sorry…”

Raphael finally paused in front of a force curtain covering a huge doorway. It was like solid crystal and streaming water, sparkling in the low light of the hallway. You barely got a good look before it simmered and disappeared completely.

Inside revealed to be a large circular room. The inner circle was surrounded by large stone columns, candles littered every surface as the only source of light. In the middle of the room, amidst teal-hued vapours was a pool with two faucets constantly flowing more steaming water into it. Intricate rugs and plush cushions lay on the floor around it. At the back of the room, high archways lead to balconies overlooking the desolate plains of Avernus.

“Ooh, who is this?” an unknown voice drawled, “A new plaything?”

“Out, Haarlep,” Raphael said in a tone that left no room for arguments. The low voice made his chest rumble pleasantly against your body.

Raphael stopped by the pool, precariously close to the edge. When he stilled and the humid air clung to your every breath, his scent lingered. You couldn’t help the few deep breaths to inhale it, to almost taste it on your tongue.

“You smell like cherries,” you muttered to the devil, “So sweet…”

He cocked a brow at you.

“Swim, little raven.”

Raphael dropped you unceremoniously into the pool of restoration. The impact sent a jolt of pain from your knee through your whole body, but before you even hit the bottom, the pain was already alleviating.

Gasping, you emerged to the surface. Raphael was chuckling, arms crossed over his chest.

“You–! Insolent… devil!” you screamed, spitting water from your mouth.

It took mere seconds to realise your body had never felt more comfortable or healthy, at least not during your tadpoled life.

“You’re welcome. As much as I’d love to stay and chat, there are important matters that require my attention.”

“W-what, you’re leaving?”

“Would you rather I joined you in there?” he asked with nonchalance, his horned head tilting with curiosity.

Yes.

Moments ago the wine in your blood would have provided enough liquid courage to ask him to do just that, but now you hesitated, knowing the devil was just teasing you.

“N-no.”

“Adieu, little raven.”

Just like that, he was gone in flames. You were treading the water, still wobbly on your feet, but feeling constantly better and better.

You looked around the room that was likely Raphael’s private boudoir. The lavish and intricate design of the furniture and multiple paintings depicting the devil himself were way too over the top.

“He always did seem like a guy to have a painting of himself above his bed,” you scoffed out loud.

Since no one was there, you warily settled to sit in the pool and brushed your hair with your fingers. Your leg moved without any pain and all the scratches and bruises were gone from your body, as well as the effects of the alcohol. Shame. The water was almost too hot, but you revelled in it. It had been ages since the last proper bath.

Since there was no sign that Raphael would return any time soon, you started to plan for the next steps – despite how gratifying it was to soak in the bath.

A counter by the side of the pool had a neat pile of towels on it, so you slipped out of the water and paused to wonder if you should take off your wet clothes or not. There were no conveniently placed bathrobes or any clothing in sight, but a huge wardrobe loomed at the side of the room.

Surely there was no harm in borrowing a dry shirt, in the least?

You tiptoed to the wardrobe, huffed in relief since it was open and spent only a second to snatch a white, frilly shirt to change into. It smelled like Raphael – a fact you tried really hard to ignore along with the tender feeling that rolled into your chest.

You left your wet camp clothes by the pool and accepted the momentarily discomfort of keeping your wet undergarments on. Surely they would dry soon enough with the warm temperature of the Hells. Changing into a clean, dry shirt felt amazing. You didn’t dare wonder what Raphael thought of your rummaging through his wardrobe, but he wasn’t there to reprimand you. Come to think of it, what a poor host he was, leaving you alone like that.

The way out of the boudoir was once again sealed by a magical curtain, so you took that as an invitation to look around the room by yourself. The upper part of the room was reserved for a huge bed that looked like the most comfortable one you had ever seen. You would’ve sold your soul again to get a break from camping and get a goodnight’s sleep in a proper bed.

Although… Raphael was nowhere to be seen and it was probably already midnight. You were dead tired.

“Don’t mind if I do…” you mumbled to yourself and climbed into the massive bed, diving under the covers. The sheets carried a strong scent of cherries and burnt sandalwood, mixed with rich, alluring musk.

Within minutes, you drifted into sleep and spared no thought to how worried your companions likely were.

—

“Rise and shine, little raven.”

Your toes curled at the deep, soothing voice. It was just like it had sounded in your dream, but the details were hazy red and enveloped in the misty warmth of the pool. A pleasant feeling wavered through your body at the memory.

“Mm. Is it morning already… Raphael!”

You jumped to sit up on the bed, staring at the master of the house in horror.

He stood by the bed, once more in his human guise and a dark smile on his lips. He mused: “Indeed it is. I see you made yourself at home in my absence.”

“You just left me here! What was I supposed to do?” you argued back and hogged the covers closer to your chest.

Raphael chuckled. “Glad to see you’re feeling better.”

He offered his hand to you, signalling that it was time to leave his bed and get back to reality. After hesitating only for a heartbeat, you took the hand and let him pull you up, almost right into his chest. He steadied you with a hand on your shoulder and an examining look. A lighter version of the smirk persisted.

Once again you realised how the dark honey-tinted brown eyes of his human form were actually really pretty. Heat radiated off his body, maybe an effect of being in Avernus or a devilish side-effect of his. Nonetheless, it felt nice after being stripped away from the warmth of the bed covers.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you leave looking unkempt like that,” Raphael said in a soft tone that sent pleasant shivers running up your neck and pooled heat into the pit of your belly.

You started to realise you had just slept in the devil’s bed.

Before you could do anything but swallow, Raphael started undoing the buttons of your – no, his – shirt.

“What are you doing?” you gasped and clutched his wrists. His skin was so warm and the faint smile on his lips was nothing if not suggestive.

“Re-doing your buttons, my dear,” he replied with a hum of a chuckle. “You’re welcome to keep the shirt, but at least try to look like you just haven’t spent the night revelling in debauchery and sin.”

“But I was just sleeping!” you acclaimed.

“My point exactly.”

Your face was burning. From the devil’s expression you easily read that the bastard was enjoying this.

Raphael took his time undoing and buttoning the shirt, fingers travelling dangerously close to your chest and over your navel. An accidental brush of fingers there and another here. You just stood still, breathing shallow in a way that surely didn’t go unnoticed by him. You were fighting the unwanted tingling feeling and heat coiling inside you.

His hands lingered at the last button. You made the mistake of looking up at his face and were encountered with a heavy look that sent you reeling. Your pulse quickened. He was so close, you could have just pushed up to your toes and–

No. No way in Hell. Raphael was gorgeous, but you were not about to sully your soul by sinning with a devil. No matter how inviting the smile on his very kissable lips was or how amazing he smelled.

You had to break the spell somehow.

“Raphael?” You hated how tinged with desperation your voice was.

“Yes?”

You looked away as his hands parted from you. It was a little easier to breathe.

“Um. Thank you for your hospitality,” you said in earnest.

He huffed. “You are very much welcome.” He took a step back and a strange sensation that his thoughts mirrored your own carnal but hesitating ones crept into your mind. Raphael continued: “I’ll add it to your tab, little raven. But now it’s time for you to go.”

Your head snapped up.

“Wait, what tab–?”

In a swirl of devouring flames, you found yourself back at camp and a second later all your companions started yelling. Only then you remembered that your camp clothes had been left by the pool and you were not wearing any pants.

[aquilacalvitium]

Rating my favourite fictional characters on how much I'd trust them to do my top surgery

Wander 🎩🪕(Wander Over Yonder) - Bugs Bunny level antics that waste about eleven minutes of everyone's lives and leave every single person convinced he couldn't do it. It would be the cleanest and easiest top surgery on record and I would walk away unscathed.

Commander Peepers 👁💥(Wander Over Yonder) - He'd take it deadly seriously and spend the whole thing nervously sweating. He would get it done but it wouldn't be flawless. Gods help me if Hater walks into the room during the surgery.

Jack Skellington 💀🎃(Nightmare Before Christmas) - A scientific and analytical mind bodes well for surgery. However. He is a skeleton and I'm fairly certain he doesn't understand how human bodies work or that we can't dismantle ourselves like some monsters. 0/10. Love him to bits. Wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw one of his rib bones.

Fantoccio 🧵🎭(Billie Bust Up) - I mean... I think? He'd take it seriously enough but I'm not sure he'd know what he was doing.

Barnaby 🦉☠️(Billie Bust Up) - Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. ☠️☠️☠️

Alastor 🦌🔪(Hazbin Hotel) - Must I repeat the above. ☠️☠️☠️

Ingo/Emmet 🔼🔽🚂(Pokemon) - Yeah actually I think they'd do well. They'd take it seriously, do it flawlessly and I'd walk away with a chest flatter than Emmet's hopes and dreams after Ingo got Isekai'd

Sun/Moon ☀️🌙(FNAF) - Ha. HA. HAHAHA. I can't trust them with children's safety scissors.

The Innocent 🪁🐕(Koozå) - Sir/Ma'am/Other title. That is a child.

The Trickster 🪄🎁(Koozå) - Wouldn't even need to go under. I have seen this man summon people out of nothing, my chest would be flat before I could blink. He'd make a performance out of it though and probably make me feel not entirely safe because he is peak moral ambiguity.

The Doctor ⏳️🌌(Doctor Who) - One would take it seriously but I wouldn't trust his unsteady hands. Two would probably have an anxiety attack so that's a nope. Three, Four and Five I trust to get it done safely and seriously. Honestly Six is... well he's certainly the most eccentric regeneration so probably not. Seven I'm not sure would do it properly even though he could take it seriously. Then again he could surprise me, he's more compitent than he appears. Eight and Nine? Ah shit I dunno honestly. Ten's a yes, Eleven is a huge nope, Twelve is a very safe yes and Thirteen is also a safe yes. Fourteen is just Ten repeated so also a yes. I don't know Fifteen well enough to say yet.

James "Jamie" McCrimmon 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🗡(Doctor Who) - He's got the steady hands and seriousness needed, yes. Unfortunately he is from the 18th century and about sixty years before anaesthesia was invented.

Sebastian 🖥🕸(Stardew Valley) - Yeah, actually. I think he'd take it seriously and have steady enough hands for it. I'm in safe company there 👍

Nico the Accordion Man 🪗⚙️(Kurios) - ??? I have no idea??? He's a handyman which bodes well and whatever he was doing with his fingers during Hypnotique tells me he's got the hands for it, but also Have You Seen the Way This Man Moves?

Chief Clown 🤡🎪(Classic Doctor Who) - (Oh yeah I'm getting hella obscure for some of these characters.) I'm pretty sure this man is a homicidal maniac. I have seen the face he makes when he kills someone. I wouldn't trust this lunatic within one mile of me while I am fully conscious and he is unarmed. Especially considering he has been unarmed every time I have seen him kill.

Sweet Cap'n Cakes 🎶🥯(Deltarune) - I love these three adorable sweethearts with my whole chest. And if I let them near my chest with anything sharp I'm afraid I won't have anything left to love them with.

Rouxls Kaard ♥️♦️♠️♣️(Deltarune) - This man. This indigo beanpole. This walking homosexual disaster. Can't make a puzzle more complex than "put box on button." Respectfully and deeply affectionately... ✨️no✨️

Wally Darling 👁🍎(Welcome Home) -

Hatbox Ghost 🎩🦯(Haunted Mansion) - NO. To both film and ride versions for different reasons.

Ghost Host 🪓➰️(Haunted Mansion) - 2023 film Hosty? Never. Put that axe down, sir. Ride Hosty? Well... He's a goober who's not half as dangerous as he appears. But I still wouldn't trust him to know what he's doing or particularly care too much if he accidentally killed me.

The Phantom 💀🎩(Phantom Manor) - Quite honestly I couldn't say. This man was adept at murder but only when given a reason, like his victims wanting to marry his daughter. I can thankfully say that I am queer enough for that to not apply to me. Doesn't make me trust him though.

The Prophet 🖤🎤(Legion of the Black) - Uh. Yeah, I think so. Yeah I think I'd be in okay hands, it wouldn't be flawless but it'd get done well enough.

Captain Rex 🪖🚀(Star Wars: The Clone Wars) - While I'd like to say battlefield first aid would give him some experience - which is true - surgeries are left up to droids. But even so I would say I'd be in safe hands. I trust him to get the job done well.

Ahsoka Tano 🗡🔶️(Star Wars: The Clone Wars) - Oh yeah. OH yeah. Safer than a Jedi holocron in the Jedi Temple library vault (before Cad Bane showed up, anyway).

Natemare 👁🎸(Natewantstobattle) - Ah yes because that is a level of mental instability that I trust to safely and confidently give me surgery. /s

Phantom 📜✒️ (Natewantstobattle) - If you know Phantom you're probably expecting a no, but he holds up his ends of any deal he makes! I absolutely trust him to give me the easiest, cleanest surgery ever. What I don't trust him to do is let me enjoy it for long because whoopsy-doopsy I'm now trapped inside his cane forever.

Lukas 🐈📖(Minecraft Story Mode) - Oh honey no, you stick to your books. He can kick ass and write a good story but he could never perform a surgery.

Helsknight ⚔️🔥(Hermitcraft) - The only things this man knows are Quote Meme, Rap and Be Pathetic. He made a pitfall trap for Welsknight because he forgot that literally every single Hermit has elytra and can fly, and then boasted about it, only to get deeply humbled. He has a total brain cell count of -1. I think you know my opinion.

[razorblade180-heated]

A wonderful performance

[Hey, it’s a smut]

[Disclaimer, I wrote a fair share of this before 4.3 so it’s been reconstructed quite a bit. Spare me.]

“The grass is always greener on the other side” is a well known phrase put to test in many plays, movies, and of course, life. Furina had witnessed this truth many times over the centuries but she never thought it would rear its head as she was granted her new lease on life. At last she had been granted a chance at peace, simplicity, freedom, and way off stage. These were all things that brought a sense of ease to a wary mind that she did not take for granted. However, not even she expected to breathe a sigh of relief upon being granted a Vision. Maybe it was because she felt a lack of power her entire life? Whatever the reason, excitement stirred in her chest under the pale moonlight as she stood on the shore line using her gift to have a certain sway over the low tide. Divinity was something Furina didn’t care for and she was sure gaining mastery over her abilities would open more peculiar doors rather than a path of peace; yet that didn’t terrify her. Rather, Furina felt relief in knowing if she chose to stand on stage and greet the audience with another spectacle, it just might be possible. The humor heart is indeed a fickle thing.

“I’ve truly lost my mind.” She chuckled under her breath, forming a seashell out of hydro.

“That’s pretty.” Called out a familiar voice.

Furina’s broken concentration brought her creation splashed onto the sand. She looked to her right to see none other than Aether walking over, soaked head to toe. “Night swimming are we? Will wonders never cease?”

“Sorta? I was helping someone looking for something as well as collecting a few resources.”

“For your sake I hope it wasn’t crustaceans. Only a few are allowed to the public in this area during this time of season. I doubt you have the list memorized.”

“Pfft, is that so?” He laughed, until he saw Furina stare with unblinking eyes. “Wait, that’s an actual law!?”

“I am going to pretend you found some old mechanical tools and played with the otters.”

“I mean…that also did in fact happen.” He got closer to the girl before sitting on the white sandy beach. “Anyway, what brings you out here in the dead of night? Looks like you’re training.”

“Training? Ha!” Furina snapped her fingers and her honored guests appeared, running around to play while Furina crossed her legs and sat on a bubble she made. “I’m reveling in my new found strength.” She boasted happily, summoning a wheel that held different desserts.

Aether still couldn’t believe how effortless Furina made that look. “Wow, you already found multiple ways to use hydro.”

“The power of water is the ability to take any shape after all. I can even walk across it. Wouldn’t want to go around drenched all the time now would we?” She teased.

“It’s not that bad. Though I probably should’ve brought a towel to-” before he could even finish, Furina took all of the moisture out of his clothes while eating a piece of cake. “Huh…you sure you’re not somehow still an Oceanid or something?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Although, his question did make her look at her hands as well as examine the beautiful deep blue gem that made this all possible. “…It’s always said Visions are a blessing, a favor from the gods. I wouldn’t really know but… maybe it only makes sense I’m naturally adept at this. It’s a strange feeling. Mirror-me didn’t really teach me a lot and at the same time it feels like it would’ve been redundant.”

“Do you somehow feel closer to her now?”

“In a sense, I suppose so. I can’t really say how that feels. It simply is what it is. Fate is odd like that. Either way, I intend to express all of me. Even if I don’t exactly understand yet what that means for me.” Furina looked at the ocean. “To think after everything I can still find peace at this sight.”

“I’m sure many others feel the exact same conflicting feeling.”

“Fontainian’s and their homeland. We’re certainly a colorful group of people.” She smiled. “Although it would be wonderful if we could be a little less observant. It took entirely too much effort to sneak over here. I even ran into Clorinde during a shift change apparently. Fortunately we remain pleasant towards one another. I do hope she takes the night off like I suggested.”

“Hold on. Sneaking? Why were you sneaking around? There’s no curfew. Though I do imagine most normal people are in bed by now.”

“I don’t think that last sentence was necessary.” She scoffed. “Need I remind you that you’re here as well?”

“Don’t try and get around the question.”

“Ugh, it’s nothing, honest. I just…would rather not bump into many people. After all…Poisson isn’t the only place resentment lingers.” Furina’s bubble popped, causing her to land on the sand as she deflated. “Not that I can blame them.”

“Things like these take time. A lot has happened. It’ll take a while to process.”

“I might know that better than most. I doubt I've truly come to terms with even half of what I feel inside. Regardless, I’m not looking or expecting forgiveness. Their animosity is completely warranted. I could only treat symptoms to what was a long and threatening illness, I. The grand scheme of things that is.”

Aether scrunched his face. He couldn’t exactly call himself the biggest optimist in general or when it came to the prophecy. Even so… “I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. In fact, neither did I. Be it your powers or lack thereof, you’re very quick to learn and adapt. Not to mention resilient. I’m sorry if it ever came across that I underestimated you.”

Furina felt her cheeks gain a little warmth. Here she was saying she didn’t need apologies or forgiveness, yet hearing it from Aether did nicely for her guilty heart. Not to mention the genuine praise of her capabilities. “Thank you, but really, there’s no need. If I was underestimated then that only means I did my job well, right? I never wanted anyone to see me worry or anything of the sort. It would’ve only brought them closer behind the curtain meant to be shut. I won’t say it wasn’t frustrating; no, I could never say that. Also, if you ask me, not being able to do more because I lacked the power to is a poor excuse. I wish I could have saved more people if anything.”

Aether could see the deep regret in her tired expression, born not from lack of trying, but from the fact her best was all she had. Aether wished he could properly disagree, but he knows the sting of wishing to be better well.

“Furina…”

“Heh, sorry.” She shook away the negative thoughts. “I didn’t mean to make this conversation heavy. I should try following Navia’s example more. Moving on is nearly impossible if all you do is bring up the past. Fontaine is in safer hands now.”

“They’ve always been.” He said with a stern voice that caught Furina’s attention. “We might not be able to do everything we wish we could, but that doesn’t mean you were lacking or inadequate. Earlier today I heard someone thank their blessings by giving gratitude to the Hydro Archon; another person said your name fondly in regards to this nation’s safety. Some even went as far as to call you Focalor.”

“Wh-What!? The news by now has had to have circulated even to the other lands about…you know…”

“My point exactly. You’re tired and down on yourself. I get that. Still, I hope you know for many people, real or not, you were their Hydro Archon for 500 years and held your responsibilities right to the very end. When that title is invoked many will think of you, and if you were to ask them me, I’d tell you that’s earned. I hope you can find comfort in that somehow.”

Furina didn’t understand why this shocked as much as it did. If anything, she was always highly aware of the feelings her, or rather, Fontaine’s people held. If she weren’t honest with herself, though the role she played brought unimaginable grief, she held zero regret in her choice or could say there was absolutely no joy over the centuries. Even the saddest of tragedies had their glimmer of light. If they didn’t, how would the character, performer, or audience truly understand what was tragic about it all?

“You know something? I think you might actually make for a good attorney. Not only do you bring sound reasoning consistently, but somehow you always seem to sway what’s in a person’s heart.”

Aether couldn’t help but laugh off the thought awkwardly. “Thanks for the compliment, but I'm honestly a nervous wreck every time I was in those stands. Don’t think I have the stomach for it all that much. Speaking of which…” he trailed off.

“Ah… is this the part where you want to apologize for nearly getting me killed?” Furina said quickly and with the utmost bluntness.

“That…was no one’s plan. I’m the slightest I might add.”

“Mmhmm, buuuut it certainly happened. There’s a suspended death sentence in my name inside some filing cabinet. That exists now.” She teased further, poking his arm with faux aggression. “As I said earlier, there’s no need to apologize for those things. I can see that I didn’t make things easy and how everyone, including myself, did all we could with what we understood. It wouldn’t make sense to hold that against any of you. However…I won’t lie and say I didn’t feel…blindsided.”

She said it nicely, but Aether remembered the hurt that riddled her eyes in the moment she realized she was lured into a trap.

“You’re right.” He said, turning away from her gaze to look at anything across the water. “I still wanted to say I’m sorry. It’s just that…”

He grew silent. Furina could understand but was still rather annoyed how now he was the one making things heavy and looking back! “Just what? Out with it already.” She crossed her arms.

“…I never wanted to make you cry.”

The rolling waves filled the space between them as they both let his words hang in the air. Furina could see the tips of his ears become stricken with red while she felt a flutter in her chest. Of all things that happened that day, she would’ve never guessed that’s what he was going to say.

“I…” she sighed. Damnit! You would think at this point she could handle curveball situations like this as quickly and easily as breathing. Furina took a deep exhale before breathing in composure, displaying a smile he couldn’t see and summoning bravado. “What an interesting thing to say. Let’s be honest with ourselves. It’s not as if you made me cry. Saying so would be taking credit from hundreds of other reasons I often want to cry about. It just so happened that day the scales tipped! Also…” her became more earnest, “Fate said I was going to weep. So please, don’t feel bad. Okay?”

Aether turned back around to see Furina showing off a smile that said “it’s fine.” Aether smiled back. “Someone is certainly more expressive.”

“I am an actress! It’s my duty to convey my feelings with my glance and every movement!” She said proudly.

“It’s a little confusing though when you look fed up yet clearly give longing looks, Madame Focalor.” He said with a cheeky grin.

Her face flared red. Furina would’ve thought her ears had grown weary of that name; yet hearing his lips say it was….“I-I have done no such thing! You’re simply awful at reading people! And don’t call me that so casually! More importantly, are you saying your gaze is so fixed on me to the point of pondering my feelings about trivial things?”

“So those glances are trivial?” He teases. “You wound me.”

“So you do want them to be longing? Ah ha!” She pointed, watching him play off the accusation with an eye roll. “Roll your eyes all you like. It’s not like I can blame fleeting flights of fancy. I still am Fontaine’s biggest celebrity!” She stands up proudly.

Aether begins clapping in a way that could only be described as petty. Furina couldn’t believe even after all of this, admitting he might have a certain fondness for her was beyond him. Meanwhile, the young man was glad to see her look more energetic. It would seem like the chip on her shoulder wasn’t all an act. It was definitely amusing and nice, if not a little tiring at times. Furina de Fontaine in a nutshell.

The air between them began to feel more playful and rather mischievous as Furina gave a smirk, taking this man by the hands and pulling him up to his feet.

“What’s all this about?”

“I figured you’ve done nothing but grill my authenticity while you play coy. Admittedly your acting is fine but I hardly say that role suits you. All this time I’ve barely seen anything that constitutes your praise as an adventure.”

“What!? I helped save Fontaine! It’s not my fault you weren’t around for the one huge battle!”

“Excuses. That’s all I hear from you. You’re definitely cunning and quick witted, but I’m strangely unconvinced; so if you’re going to keep your eyes on me, might as well put them to the test along with a few other skills.” Furina puts her hat on Aether and tilts it down just over his eyes. “Hold it just like that and count to 70. No cheating now.”

Aether holds the hat like she says. “And when I’m done?”

“You’re a renowned traveler who’s been here for a while haven’t you? Let’s see just how well you know your way around this kingdom. Start counting.”

He could hear her sprint off swiftly. In a matter of seconds, all he could hear was the waves. Furina sure could move when she wanted to. Aether laughed as he continued to count mentally. As he hit 70, he removed the hat from his face and immediately noticed the water stole her footprints aside from the ones immediately next to him.

“Well played Furina. Well played…”

xxxxx

Skipping, giggling and sneaking about, Furina happily moved around her beloved territory. Skilled or not, Aether was in her domain. The likelihood of him even knowing the patrol of the Gardes was incredibly low.

“I do hope he makes this interesting for me.” She hummed, heading west from the main plaza.

“Psssst!” Hissed a few streets away.

Furina whipped her head around and gasped, spotting the blonde sitting at a table with a smug smile. How did he get here so quickly!? It had to be luck, right? Her answer came as he casually pointed to his shoes. Furina looked down at her own and noticed not all of the sand had abandoned the soles.

“Ah…..” Furina looked back up, gave a sheepish shrug, then immediately took off sprinting around the corner.

“Guess we’re doing tag rules then.”

Aether got up with her hat in hand before giving chase. She really was quick on her feet. He barely saw a flash of blue fabric float by as he turned the corner himself. Deeper and deeper he went into Fontaine’s alleyways; going under aquabus bridges and slipping through a side path he’s never noticed. Unlike the other places he’s visited, Fontaine’s major city somehow managed to feel dense one moment then open space the next. The chase was harder than he expected. Furina seemed to slip past every stacked box and promotional sign like a street cat. Clearly this was a path well traversed by her. It was probably how someone with her level of fame managed to slip away from unfavorable situations.

Furina casually ducked between a gap in a fence and around the back of a bakery to find herself one of the most out of the way and peaceful spots in Fontaine. It was a pretty little alleyway; hardly was there any foot traffic during the busiest days. Almost makes her wonder if her people notice it. This precious little space might as well not exist. Furina was convinced some criminal at least had to know about it, but no. This was easily her favorite little hiding hole away from prying eyes.

She put her back against the brick wall and caught her breath. Next time she’ll remember to check her shoes. She had planned to get here a little more eloquently. Oh well. She looked back the way she came, as well as down the path that would lead back to the main streets. No sign of her pursuer.

Did he double back? That was a possibility, but Furina definitely heard his steps hot on her heels for some time. “No way I actually gave him the slip.” She whispered to herself.

“Perish the thought.” He responded.

Furina’s hat fell right onto her head. Her gaze looked towards the sky to see him look down from the roof. With a single hop, he descended and landed right in front of her before she could think about slipping away. Aether put his hands on either side of her and smirked.

“That’s the game. Convinced of my skills now?”

“Quite a lot of effort you put into this. All I’m convinced of is how you can’t stand not having your eyes on me.” Furina playfully wrapped her right hand around his white scarf. It was softer than it looked. “I typically find this level of dedication from my friends a nuisance. I hope you understand that?”

“So I’m a fan now?”

“Aren’t you?”

“I might be. You are definitely talented. I’d see another show.”

“Heh, I rest my case then.” She may have been exaggerating before but now that he was this close… “I can’t be mad about eyes that are this pretty watching me.”

“Like you could be mad at all. Are we still acting like you didn’t lead me here?”

“Is that so~ An interesting accusation.”

“Well I can’t be a fan of Furina de Fontaine if I couldn’t claim to understand her even just a little bit. She’s smarter than she leads on; always thinking about her next move to get what she wants because how could she not? It’s who she is. So, Furina, go ahead. Take what you want~”

She tried remaining resolute in their face off. At this point however, Furina grew intolerant of theatrics; especially when his were so thinly veiled. Even so, she had to admit his commitment to it was something she couldn’t help but stubbornly adore. “I swear…you are so…” Furina didn’t even bother finishing her words.

She wrapped her hand further, pulling Aether down into a feverish kiss neither could resist any longer. Furina invited the boy's eager tongue to slip in between her lips while his right hand grabbed her by the waist and pressed her body up against him. Her left arm draped over his shoulder then folded in to keep his lips right where she wanted. Not that he had thoughts of leaving. Aether leaned deeply into the kiss, fully exploring her so-called, “prideful mouth.” Although right now, the only thing escaping from it were the moans he stole from her.

They savored every second of their growing passion in the secluded alleyway until Furina released him at least. Their chests heaved, desperately taking air as the two of them stared at each other’s reddened faces. She could feel his growing excitement press against her stomach and couldn’t help but smirk.

Her bewitching eyes glowed a faint blue that Aether couldn’t help but drown in. Furina’s hands began moving again, slowly trailing down his chest, then his stomach, and finally stopping at his hips as her fingers tugged on his waistband.

“Isn’t public indecency a crime?”

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” Her voice hummed with a playful hunger that reached her smile. Though it seemed Aether wasn’t letting her have free reign entirely. His right hand took both of her wrists and she let out a small gasp as he put them overhead against the wall. “Scared of getting caught?” She teased, trying to sound unbothered.

“Not exactly, but am I not worthy of your chambers?”

“Ha! And you claim I’m not the honest one? How can a I grant a plea if you’re not clear~” Furina kept her eyes on his. She used her right leg to press against the outside of his left, rubbing up against it teasingly so. His face said everything, but Furina wanted his words. “Go on, speak your mind.”

Aether gladly spoke his mind, but not before keeping Furina in check. He had no problem expressing his desires, but he wasn’t about to let her ego grow so easily. Furina remained unblinking as he removed his left glove with his teeth before dropping it. Aether found his way to her soft and cool torso, dipping lower into her shorts. The actress’s blush only grew along with her sultry smile when he reached wet, warm lips that his fingers slowly massaged.

Furina let out a quiet sigh as the adventurer slipped into her and started curling two fingers to the point her hips jutted out and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

“Mmm~”

“We’ve danced around too long to get to this point.” Aether leaned into Furina’s ear. “I want to savor you, so let’s take this behind closed doors; my dear Madam Focalor.”

Such a lovely little act. “That can be arranged.” She let his face back up just a little before stealing his lips. Again, his tongue was greeted by hers; only this time her hips were way more involved in their passion. Furina didn’t even try to free her wrists from his grasp. He was getting so forceful with her body. So…possessive. It was becoming a bit of a struggle to do anything besides listen, and despite her pride, Furina was finding bliss. Aether didn’t stop stirring her insides as he started to ravish her neck. Furina would’ve been done for if it wasn’t for Aether suddenly stopping the moment her knees began buckling. His fingers left her body but she quickly grabbed the lustful hand, catching Aether by surprise. She wouldn’t be put on the back foot completely.

“Shall we get going?” Furina said, guiding his hand to her face. She looked right at him with intense eyes as wrapped her lips around the two soaked digits, licking them clean. Furina left no space between them. Even if he tried to downplay the emotions on his face, the hot throbbing that poked her lower body told all of the blonde’s secrets. “I wouldn’t blame you however, if you needed just a moment of clarity before we made the trip.” Just how long could the boy endure? Furina was eager to find out. She snaked his hand around her throat to make him even more flustered, but was caught off guard to feel his grip tighten just enough for her to realize. Another gasp left her; and Aether leaned in real close.

“Lower your shorts.”

A victory for Furina, although just like always, she had put herself in a position where backing down wasn’t an option. She pulled down her shorts to her knees, allowing the chill air to greet her body while her hands were already pulling down Aether’s pants until she felt his erection spring out and tap her inner thigh. Thank goodness it was dark. It was the only thing hiding just how comically red her cheeks have gotten. Her digits ran along its length, memorizing its shape as she made it slick with a mixture of their arousal and a bit of hydro. His free hand found her butt and made her smirk even more apparent as she felt him squeeze.

“Guess you couldn’t wait after all?”

“Hush.” He groaned.

Air filled Furina’s lungs as she felt Aether push into her. Her playful gaze left as her eyes became wide from the intrusion that commanded her body to hold it tightly. “Oooh my~” Furina grabbed his face and pulled him into another tongue war as Aether rolled his hips into hers. “Mmph!!” Every thrust stole a moan. His hold on her neck remained steady while her waist was kept firmly in place for him to gouge out her insides.

Aether’s grunts matched her feverish panting she snuck in between breaths. How’d he allow her to rile him up so easily? It was as if he was spellbound, burdened with a thirst only she could quench and a desire to shut Furina up. Neither wanted to lose this little game of theirs, but Aether could barely think straight, feeling just how tight her walls are. Not to mention how wet and warm the girl was. If it wasn’t for the smacking of their make out session, the leading noise in this alleyway would be the sound of her pussy swallowing him up. The harder he thrusts, the more Furina sucked on his tongue. She moved her hands around the back of his head in fear of the pleasure causing her to squeeze his face too hard. What was meant to be a bit of foreplay had turned into full blown fucking.

“Anghn, like that~” her voice trembled. “Just like that.” Her body yielded to his movements as his cock dug into a sweet spot repeatedly. In this moment Aether could make her throw her pride aside as long as she got to cum. Every pump felt so heavy and wanting of her body. No person could deny such ecstasy. Not even a god. Furina pried her lips away from Aether’s for her own sanity. “H-Hey…you can cum.. whenever y’know?” Praying he’d leave her with the ability to walk at least.

The strength in her voice waned but Aether found it endearing. He let go of her throat and let her head rest over his shoulder; partly for his own benefit. They both may have started off too strongly. Aether gave several more thrusts before forcing himself to pull out. It was so sudden that Furina’s legs nearly gave out.

“C-Careful!” She trembled. Furina looked down at the unruly appendage that stirred her, watching it spill its seed. “Now, now, evidence is the last thing we need to leave.” She pointed at the mess and washed it away with a stream of hydro before going a little limp on top of the boy.

Aether let out a chuckle. “That’s certainly handy. You okay?”

“Better shape than you. Though a small break is much deserved for your efforts.” She said, sinking into the wall as if it was some luxury mattress.

“Heh, why thank you.”

Both of them found their antics a little ridiculous yet oh so fun at this point. Furina had half a mind to pull the blonde in for another kiss when suddenly, a rumbling trash can startled them stiff. Aether quickly clothed himself and covered Furina from any prying eyes. Their quick maneuvering was in vain however. The trash fell over and out from behind it was a simple cat running off.

Thankful for the outcome but now on edge, Furina realized perhaps Aether had a point. She had no idea how she would’ve explained this to a Garde. “Let’s move this performance to my chambers.” She whispered.

xxxxxx

“ Anyone could say what they want about Furina, but they can’t say she isn’t entertaining.” Those words were always echoed by the people of Fontaine. Aether had to admit every day understood those words more and more. Beyond entertaining however, Furina was surprisingly cunning in unpredictable ways. It made sense for a ruler, former or otherwise, to know their kingdom, but for her to lead Aether all the way to her abode unseen through the quietest Fontainian streets was rather impressive indeed.

“You know you’re quite mischievous when you want to be.”

“It’s my personal spice of life. Everything deserves a little twist.” She took him by the scarf again and walked backwards into her room. By the time the door clicked, Furina was already feeling him up once more as they kissed against it. Frankly it was amazing they kept their hands off each other long enough to get here. It would appear Aether had recovered from their brief but wonderful moment of bliss. Good. Furina wasn’t done with him yet.

Aether felt her hands mess with her shirt and helped her out by raising his arms to quickly discard it. Furina continued to guide him by the lips further into the room then playfully pushed him onto her extravagant bed laced with the finest blue silk sheets which had to be one of coziest mattresses he’s ever felt.

“Wow. Can we just skip to the part where we sound asleep?” He looked down to see the woman already fishing his erection out from his pants. “Guess that’s a n- ngh~”

Music to Furina’s ears. She figured giving the boy a taste would silence his cute banter. Right now she was far more interested in the blush on his face spreading. As capable of a warrior Aether was, Furina was surprised to learn just how passive he could be. Once again she found her gaze fixated on his flickering eyes as she took him down to the back of her throat; she even went as far to moan, sending vibrations through his body that made his hips rise.

“Furina!” He panted, overwhelmed by her hyperactive tongue coiling around him. Aether found it difficult to look at her directly which in turn, only made her more enthusiastic. He began to feel the pleasure rise gradually, his cock twitching violently before Furina dragged her lips off of him.

“Oh no you don’t.” Furina said, wiping her mouth with a single finger. “Do try to last a little longer. We haven’t gotten to the best part.” She gave him a seductive smile as she finally removed her shorts entirely, along with pale blue panties. In truth, she found her impatience a little unbecoming, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care at the moment. Furina gladly straddled Aether, raising her hips right over his raging manhood before slowly piercing herself with it.

“Mmmngh~” she couldn’t deny how full she felt; how he seemed to touch…everything. Furina took a moment to try and calm her breathing as well as her body before proceeding any further. At that time, Aether sat up to meet her and began reaching for her top, but Furina grabbed his hand in reflex.

Aether was surprised by the reaction, and to see Furina’s eyes quickly dart away from his own. “I suppose divine stars can have such relatable insecurities like these.” He spoke softly.

“I may be a star, as you say, but that makes me no less of a woman.” She said, a bit more defensively than she would’ve liked.

“That’s fair. Still, for you to be insecure about this? You, who has the noblest of forms…” he reached for her again. “Bewitching and divine beyond reason and comprehension~”

Furina felt her heart skip a beat. He removed her hat then began quietly working on her top while she remained rigidly still. Those words he spoke could’ve easily been sugar coated, yet Furina let them have their sway; she raised her arms and let Aether see…everything. “It’s not much.”

“Doesn’t matter; It’s what I’m looking for.” He said just as quickly, leaning in as he wrapped his arms around her porcelain skin. “You’re perfect.”

Furina was undone by his teeth sinking into her neck, nipping away towards her collarbone and then assaulting her chest with warm lips and an even warmer tongue.

“Mmm. Truly you are…hopeless.” She swooned, her hips rocking in his laps reflexively. “Fine then, have your fill!” Furina’s arms kept him close.

Aether gladly began to devour her figure, leaving no part unmarked by his affection. Furina didn’t know what was worse. His persistence, or the feeling of his cock growing inside deeper than ever before. Furina felt her face grow hot. His words were no lie at all. The very thought made her body squeeze him in place while her hips kept moving on their own. She pressed her soft, shapely ass onto his lap, grinding his length right up against her womb while she felt Aether’s teeth ensnare a nipple and tease it relentlessly. Furina couldn’t stop her nails from running in between his shoulder blades as she lost composure. There was no hiding it from him; she wanted all she could take from him.

Aether stopped his oral assault for only a moment but it was enough time for Furina to push him back down against the mattress, her hands roaming down his chest as she let out breathless pants. He couldn’t utter even one word as watched in awe as Furina’s movements flowed like a stream; the way her hips would raise only to slam back down and how she shut her eyes to focus on the pleasure drove Aether crazy. Everything felt so wonderful and stuck to his length like warm honey. It took so much strength to not scream when she completely sat down on his lap and rolled her hips forward while her nails grazed his ribs and traced his toned chest.

Furia looked down at him, hearing the sharp, strained breaths come in and out between as kept his eyes shut tightly. The blush on his face was a beautiful red, like a vintage wine ready to devour. Furina laid her body completely on top of his body, continuing to raise, lower, and roll her hips as she began nipping his ear or kissing his neck. As she thought. It was tastier than any wine. Furina was ready to stay like this and drink him up forever until a sudden burst of heat rushed into her body, causing her to gasp. The girl sat up immediately and looked down. Her eyes widened and cheeks glowed scarlet seeing Aether’s cock twitch violently as thick, white cum began leaking out of her. Furina looked back up at Aether to see him covering his face with one hand.

He looked through spread fingers and sure enough, the woman on top of him was grinning like a mischievous cat. “I was close from your blowjob.” He defended.

“Now why don’t I believe that in its entirety?” She cooed, loving his flustered expression. “Not that I can blame you. As you said, I’m bewitching.” She took his hand and ran it up her body, earning another twitch. “Was I too much?”

Aether had no defense for that. He sat up and put his face against her chest to hide better. “You’re annoying is what you are.” He groaned, knowing his ears had to red. He could feel Furina’s fingers playing with his braid. “I got a bit overwhelmed.”

“No need to explain yourself.” She hummed, proud of her performance. He clearly didn’t notice all the little orgasms and jolts of pleasure she was experiencing. “Feel free to recover. After all, it would be natural for someone such as I to be overstimulating to a mortal. I felt lovely. I won’t hold this against-” She cut her victory lap short, feeling Aether began to grow inside of her again. “H-Huh?”

Aether pushed his waist forward, causing Furina to let out a yelp as she was put on her back with Aether perfectly looking down at her between her legs. A jolt went through her as he grabbed both her thighs and moved her legs onto his shoulders where they dangled. The fierce determination in his gaze made Furina realize she might have spoken too soon about his submissive tendencies. Perhaps she had gloated a little too much?

“We can uh…take a break if you’re tir-aah~” She felt his waist dip until it met her body. Aether leaned over her and whispered.

“I said I was going to savor you.” He pulled out to the tip, then plunged right back in.

Furina felt the air leave her lungs and brain stutter for a moment as Aether began pounding her relentlessly. Her limbs didn’t know to grip the sheets or onto him, but they settled for clawing the sheets of the rocking bed. “W-Wait! Anngh! It’s…too deep~” her moans were blatant, mouth agape as she pleaded. The reply she received was his tongue conquering hers, and yet she made no argument against it. “Mmmmm~”

There was nothing to do but take his passion. Furina was certain he was harder than before and making her hips float with every soaked plunge into her. It was a good thing they were kissing, or else someone would’ve definitely heard her wail as he turned up the intensity. It was too much for her. His weight made sure he hit the bottom of her deepest part every time to the point Furina could only…

“MMMPH!?” Her body jerked violently, the inside of her walls gripping like a vase and unleashing a turret of her arousal that dampened the sheets as Aether pulled out and let her legs fall. Furina’s head was so clouded and her breathing was uncomfortable while the pleasure gradually subsided. So much of her strength had been eaten away, but she wasn’t even mad at it. Furina was too busy trying to calm down to care about anything else, even the fact a perfectly good set of sheets were ruined.

“Y-You…brute.” She groaned in pouty satisfaction, still feeling his efforts. Furina would not know true rest however. Aether slowly flipped her over to her stomach. She felt his strong hands grab her hips and raise them until she felt his tip press against her folds. “But I just came~” she whined, despite shaking her hips to feel him rub against her.

“Don’t tell me this mere mortal has overstimulated you?” He said with a hunger in his voice.

Furina let out a long groan as he pulled her onto his cock. “Mmngh, I’m sorry…!” she moaned, reaching for one of many pillows and burying her face in it as Aether’s hips plowed into her again, mercilessly thrusting like a piston. “Aaaaannh~”

Why did she adore this so much? She had him in the palm of her hand earlier and now she was sweating as he took her like an animal. It wasn’t that he was only thrusting, but commanding her hips to push into him, creating such a terribly indecent sound that echoed like steps in a puddle. She knew she wanted everything from him, but it was so embarrassing yet hot to give him everything he craved.

Aether listened to the symphony of squeals and moans as he watched the ripples her ass crested whenever he pushed forward into her body. Her skin was wonderfully flushed like his and the pleasure didn’t seem to end. “You’re so beautiful.”

How dare he say that to her now? When all she could do is push back even harder and submit to his hunger. She knew he could feel her grip tighten. There was no hiding from his words or what was in her heart.

Furina probably thought his ego spurred his actions. While that was admittedly part of the truth, it was insignificant to the infatuation he had seeing her so wanting and pleased by him. Furina was finally being honest.

He made her go prone and put his weight on her again and he took her gripped knuckles. “Look at me.” He rasped.

Furina looked over her right shoulder to see his face an inch away. She instantly closed her eyes and went in for a kiss they both so eagerly wanted. His fingers interlocked hers while his hips made sure she felt his unruly length get buried into her body as he fucked her into the bed. Aether ended their kiss and got his revenge from earlier, licking and nipping at her ear lobe. “Nooo~” her body trembled. “I’ll…”

“Give it to me. Don’t try to fight it. I want to see you cum, Madam Focalor~” He bit her neck.

His teeth found her neck as she was left with those sultry words that would be her undoing. “F..uck.” She put her face in the pillow and screamed, her walls taking hold of Aether’s trembling cock and squeezing it until it had no choice but to erupt again while her own arousal ran down her twitching legs.

Both of them felt the exhaustion hit, laying motionless as they groaned from the pleasure and fatigue. Aether rolled off of Furina and laid on his stomach right next to her. He turned his head to see the girl staring at him with pouty puffed out cheeks. Maybe he went a little overboard.

“Hehe…umm, my ba-”

“I want a normal kiss.” She huffed.

Aether blinked silently before giving a small smile. “As you wish.” He scooted closer and gently placed his lips on her, feeling her body ease into his.

Furina placed her head under his chin and silently, yet loudly, commanded comfort by resting against him. He was very quick on the uptake, placing his arm around her torso. “You performed wonderfully.” She hummed. “Now stay just like this for now. I won’t tolerate waking up alone.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said earlier? I was all for skipping to this part.”

“Ha, as if I’d let you. Although…I can see the appeal.” She shut her eyes.

xxxxxx

When the god finally arose, the day had already begun. Furina opened her eyes to muffled light through the curtains but more importantly, her head rested on Aether’s bare chest. It appeared they moved a bit in their sleep. It was only when she sat up she realized they didn’t just move, but properly under clean sheets and on the appropriate side of the bed.

“….” She poked Aether’s cheek repeatedly until he groaned. “Hey, did you move us?”

“Mmhmm.” He mumbled. “You’re a heavy sleeper and I got a little cold, so I took us to bed properly.”

“But where did you get the clean sheets?”

He pointed towards the door. Furina looked to see a giant note on it with beautiful handwriting she immediately recognized. It said, “Do be mindful of regular patrol and shift changes, my lady. Do not fear however. No traces were discovered, and as always, my silence is yours. Sleep well, Clorinde.”

Furina felt utterly mortified, covering her bright red face. “Why is she so diligent!? She doesn’t even work for me! I told her to relax!”

“My guess is she had a vague idea of possible trouble you could find yourself in and thought it would be better for her to find out instead of someone else by mistake. She may have even known about the alley.” Aether sat up briefly with his undone hair flowing freely. He hugged the paralyzed Furina and brought her back down to bed. “Worry later, or rather, thank Clorinde later. It’s still sleepy time.”

She had no clue how he could be so calm about this!? Yet she also wasn’t about to disturb him. Though that note rid her of sleep, Furina stayed in his arms for comfort. She would think about everything else later. Her eyes drank in his sleeping face, the way his slightly flushed lips curled made her own lips curl up. Under dim light through blinds. Furina couldn’t stop replaying last night’s performance. Those lips of his were so active, so…wanting. They took and gave everything faster than she could process. For the first time in a long time, being overwhelmed felt glorious. She had to admit that right now…if she had the chance to-

Aether opened his eyes, feeling the lady’s gaze on him. He sat up and she followed suit. “If you want something then feel free to say it.” Aether said, casually grinning.

Furina’s cheeks were struck with red. Was he a mind reader now!? “D-Don’t put this on me! You’d think I’d fall for such an obvious plea for-” her defense was immediately cut at the source via Aether grabbing her lower jaw and pulling her in slowly as he stared at her with calm amber eyes. Her heart nearly stopped.

“It might be noon, but don’t you think it’s too early for theatrics? If you can swallow your pride right now, I’ll make it worth everything and more. Just like last night.” He said, morning voice and all.

Furina was left speechless and now bright red. Such a bold proposition! How dare he commanded such authority, and yet…it wasn’t exactly terrible. At least that’s how she tried to convince herself about her feelings towards it. In truth, it was embarrassingly marvelous.

Furina averted his gaze again and removed his hand. Without a word, she bent down, putting her head in his lap while pushing away the covers. She guided his length back into her mouth and began coiling her tongue to invigorate Aether once again. She can’t believe she was doing this, during broad daylight no less! He really was so annoying. It didn’t help she felt a hand start to rub the top of her head while another grabbed her exposed rear, its fingers sliding along it to meet her folds and give them attention.

“Mmm~” Furina raised her hips, allowing two fingers to properly slip inside of her as she continued her efforts in earnest. She felt Aether grow to the point her jaw hung open, his thick and leaking tip greeting her throat.

Aether could barely feel his hips from the way Furina relentlessly lapped his length. “Nngh, good girl.” He teased, committing to his role. He didn’t expect her body to give him a gripping reaction around his fingers. Looks like Furina was still full of surprises for them to discover together. “Okay, I’m a man of my word. Get on my lap.”

Furina took a deep breath as she came up. His fingers left her wanting as they left, but that was fine when what’s to come would feel much better. She couldn’t even find it in herself to boast about Aether’s reactions. Instead she quickly put one leg on each side of him and angled herself above his cock like last night. Slowly, she lowered herself, shutting her eyes tightly as her body remembered last night.

“Aaaa~” she moaned, sinking down further until she was sitting completely on him. Furina felt her hips go numb and her body twitch from the rush of a hot tongue tracing her modest chest. Furina didn’t even get the chance to open her eyes again before feeling her body fall backwards onto the bed; added weight held her body in place as that same tongue slipped past her lips and took it away to his own. The fullness inside was dragged back out to the entrance before slamming back down. A guttural groan rumbled in her chest as it happened again, and again, and again….

Damn that Aether. Nobody moves like this without having their own desires. She could hear every sharp inhale he took and felt the hunger in his hips feed them both ravenous pleasure. He might’ve made her swallow her pride, but only to hide the fact his mind was in the exact same place hers was. Furina couldn’t be bothered to be upset at the ruze at this point. She put her arms around his neck, drowning in their embrace as the heat between their bodies grew hotter. It wasn’t long before either worked a little sweat. That didn’t stop Aether at all though. Furina couldn’t stop her toes from curling after each and every deep thrust that pried her open. It was impossible to tell who was trembling at this point, the both of them soaring high until a final plunge into her released hot seed that her body ringed out with pleasure. Their kisses ended with heavy breathing and strained breath that tickled each other’s ears.

When Aether said, “Just like last night” Furina didn’t expect him to skip towards the intensity he displayed near the end! Her eyes fluttered open, feasting themselves on a slim, yet defined and toned figure between her legs, and eyes that took in her glistening porcelain figure as if it were a crowned jewel. Not that it wasn't, but to see him marvel at her without having to prompt him was… embarrassing to say the least.

Aether watched her eyes grow wider as he put his hands on her knees to part her legs wider before taking her hips into his control, raising her waist up to thrust directly into her.

Furina gasped as if she didn’t just watch him reposition her! His hips didn’t go as hard as before but made up for it with speed and control. “Ngh- you have…too much energy!” Furina moaned. Forget the previous round; her body was still sensitive from last night! “Must you be so rough!?”

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Aether said breathlessly.

“I…”Furina’s eyes couldn’t help but watch the thick and unrelenting cock disappear inside her, only reappear briefly; the shaft was coated in a mixture of their passion that kept it slick and entering repeatedly. The girl sunk her teeth into her bottom lip, seeing how his length only came back out messier after each thrust. She laid her back, her left arm hiding her eyes.

Aether groaned. “Mmm, you’re getting tighter.”

“Silence!” She whined, knowing it was true. “I…I…”

“Swallow your pride~”

“…..Don’t.., don’t stop, please.” She confessed, her voice wavering. Furina dug her fingers into the sheets while her toes curled again. “I don’t wanna get out of this bed! I just want to feel you!” Her face was bright red. Somehow she found the courage to remove her arm, only to not find fierce eyes dominating her, but shut ones on an equally flushed face as Aether’s hips worked overtime. A surprising sight to witness, yet it made Furina all the more needy for his touch. Her eyes shut again and the both of them bathed in the lustful, euphoric sounds of their bodies.

Aether fought so hard not to yell from the way the soaked, warm walls pleaded for him. His thighs were doused in Furina’s arousal as she slammed into them, giving her everything.

Her pussy gladly took the punishment, growing red from the persistent pounding that made her womb ache. Every inch was taken and remembered. Furina feared if this kept up, Aether might reshape her body entirely. That would be unacceptable. To perfectly accommodate her foolish consort’s body would be…

“Aangh~” she sighed. “Make me yours; for all time…” such a maddening idea.

Furina could no longer find words for her pleasure as she felt Aether’s tip rub against womb and deliver a rush of hot seed directly inside it, his hands like a vice on her hips and rigid length buried to the hilt inside her body. The ravishing feeling had a death grip on her body she wouldn’t soon forget. The word maddening didn’t do it justice. Furina let her mind wander off as the sound that finally let her throat could only be described as one thing. Operatic.

xxxxxx

Loud one moment and quiet the next. Furina’s life had been a whirlpool of emotions in what felt like a wild dream. Yet here she was now, humming in a bubble bath as diligent hands scrubbed her scalp before rinsing the soap out with soothing warm water.

“Mmm. I can’t say 500 years was worth this specific moment, but I think it’s pretty close.” She could hear Aether chuckle.

“Unbelievable. I’m glad you’re happy putting me to work.”

“I’ll wash your hair next if you want?”

“It was a little joke Furina.”

“And my offer still stands~” She leaned back against the young man, watching his arms hold her. Furina ran her fingers in between his quietly as the water settled.

“Hey?” She said sheepishly, gathering her thoughts. “Just to set the record straight, I may have lived a long life but I wouldn’t say it’s been the most fulfilling. These past several hours are acts I’ve never done, so…” why did she suddenly feel so anxious saying this to him. “All I’m saying is I didn’t do this on a whim. If that makes sense. I-”

“Furina.” He said softly, turning her head his way to put her nerves to rest with a gentle, comforting kiss. “I know.”

Perhaps she was the one who underestimated him? He could read her just fine. Furina smiled softly, resting her head on his chest. “I couldn’t ask for a person to share the stage with.”

xxxxx

“Two bags. Just as promised. I thought you would’ve picked these up earlier.” Said a vendor, handing off the groceries to Furina.

“Thank you. And I’ll try to next time. I got a little held up.” She laughed off as she began walking. As she made her way home, her feet froze in place as Clorinde and Navia nearly bumped into her as they turned the corner.

“Wow! Sorry about that.” Navia chuckled. Although it went unheard as Furina and Clorinde shared a glance.

“Did you make it home safely last night? No problems?”

“N-None.” Furina wanted to sink to the bottom of the water right now. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing. Next time though, I’d recommend taking care of all personal business in a more…private capacity.”

“I will keep that in mind. Anyways, I should get these home.Toodaloo!” Furina briskly walked off.

Navia couldn’t help but notice the girl’s awkward stride as she left. “Is Furina okay? She seemed a little…”

“Training.” Clorinde said, calmer than ever. “She was by the water training and pushed herself a little too hard. I made sure to keep an eye out is all. She’s probably still tired.”

“Ah. That’s sweet of you. For a moment I thought she still felt terribly awkward around us. Especially me. I do hope that feeling doesn’t last too long. I wouldn’t mind inviting her to tea.”

“You might have a better chance at that when I’m not around.”

“Really?” Navia squints, noticing the lack of eye contact she was receiving. “Don’t tell me you also feel awkward about it; given how you used to work for her and all?”

“…Something like that.”

“Ah ha! All the more reason to put in effort! I’ll try to get in touch sometime in the near future.”

“You really d-” it was too late. Clorinde could see the determination in Navia’s eyes. “I’ll…keep my schedule open.” The woman let out a quiet sigh of defeat. She’d be sure to grab some cake for Furina when the day comes.

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 11 react

ok i found chapter 11 translated by amnemonie on tumblr (thank you thank you thank you and if you want me to take this down i will!!) but there's no guarantee ill be able to find the rest lmAOo we'll see

HOT MAN!!! HOT MAN

i mean what no pathetic sopping wet man

cat face izaya i thought id never see you again

man after realizing there's a minidura tag i saw a post that was like "i wish minidura got animated like bsd wan" and like. YEAH. PLEASE

it would be the perfect revival of the durarara fandom pleaseeeeeee do it for meeeeeeee we could revive durarara like we revived trigun

and i need shizuo izaya and shinra cooking together being animated. please

anyway izaya looks like he really doesnt wanna be here in that last panel and i mildly spoiled myself on the comments/reblogs saying this one is really mean to izaya which you know i live for. [cracks knuckles] i hope he gets hit by a truck but like an emotional one because that's the only one he'd really react to

oh god he's more pathetic than i thought he'd be

they're really looking at him like "damn bitch you good" which is fair

bro summoned up all his courage to ask 😭rip bozo

??????????? THEY TOLD YOU HE'D BE WITH THEM

izaya simultaneously has the best social skills known to man and the WORST social skills known to man

ill never stop bringing this up but. now presenting orihara "i love humans because they're so unpredictable" izaya getting fucked by humans' predictability everybody

and here we see izaya walking awkwardly in his natural habitat, trying to eat cake with high schoolers /j

kadota casually calling out izaya on his bullshit bkgjdSGKHDSHds

he just wants to eat cakeeeee someone go with him

not me though i wouldnt be caught dead with that man

i swear walker's face gets longer every time i see him and it tickles me so much

aaaand cue shizuo on stage right

god bless erika for suggesting that he invite shizuo cuz id have done it myself

also "just today". are you implying that you want to see shizuo every other day. izaya.

WAIT

WAIT IS TODAY IZAYA'S BIRTHDAY

OH

oh my god thats actually sad okay

id say to ask namie but namie probably rejected him already without even letting him finish the question bkfdgjhgf

shinra keeping up the stupid anniversaries trend from that other chapter we love a consistent malewife

man shiki he wasnt even here for work 😭 at least he got some food although karasumi does not look that good if im being honest

at least compared to cake

shinraaaa you FORGOTTTT

may 4th is the date of my statistics exam but i swear ill celebrate it for you izaya. ill even mark it down on my calendar

oh 💀 namie is as delusional as i am. love that for her

he's even singing to himself ohhhhh poor baby...(i say this as if i'm not grinning wildly to myself in my room rn)

i swear i feel bad for him but he's so fun to bully

man i remember those fics where shizuo was the only one to remember izaya's birthday bgkjhfdgfd i guess those were founded from somewhere (even if his gifts were things like 'not chasing him today' or sending him black roses)

oh my god 😭 he's so desperate at this point i didnt think he'd actually be happy to see shizu-chan

even grabbing him by the arms bkgdssdkahdskjhgsdsd

this is gonna end badly though if the comments/reblogs i read have anything to say about it

😭yep the izaya bullying is real

SHIZUO NOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS BASICALLY THE WHOLE CAKE

izaya's conscious too 💀 MAN

part of me feels like this is narita's personal revenge against the shizaya fans in his fanbase askdbgskjhsdhgsd shizuo needs to be extra cruel to prove he's not gay

he's so happy to just get birthday textssssss this is so sad

[mye-chi]

‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ Assigning Mili Songs      ‎  ‎‎   ‎‎‎‎          ‎To Aphverse Characters

i did this for another fandom i'm in ages ago and since mili makes up a fraction of my pheonix drop playlist i was like... why not? its my mental breakdown and i get to choose the music! /ref

Aphmau — Mortal With You

Does it get easier with time for the immortal? If I was born normal If I become normal, can I stay close?

Take my hand Pull me from the dark You're my only treasure History was too stubborn to let me be A regular girl in a regular world Regular thoughts, regular love

while i think summoning 101 is an equally good fit for aphmau based on vibes and her starry-eyed introduction to the world, man do i love mortal with you.

i've really fallen love the concept that aphmau was created for irene to experience mortalhood with her reincarnated friends, and aphmau subsequently rejecting her divinity for the normalcy of being a simple lord in a simple village with her guards and dogs. in the big bang discord there was a discussion about aphmau feeling the pressure of being a goddess to the point where she begins to wear a veil and i just... i think about it so much. aphmau no one gets you like i do.

Garroth — Ga1ahad and Scientific Witchery

The witches can't be loved So bravely I fought They fell and failed My Lady doesn't wilt

No forgiveness for this endless love My goddess never looked at me

KNIGHT BOY GETS THE KNIGHT SONG BABY ❗️❗️❗️💥💥💥

*grips your shoulders* okay so basically ga1ahad and the scientific witchery is about a knight who's dedicated to purging witches in the name of his lady. he's dies and is revived by a witch who creates a new cyborg body for him. though he continues to hate the witch, its revealed that she genuinely loves him, and they both end up killing one another.

and i just think this is such a good representation of esmund's eternal devotion to irene causing his reincarnation to fall inlove with her over and over again. doomed soulmates my beloved.

Laurance — From A Place Of Love

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling at the moment Are you (Uh-huh?) Uhm (Yes?) I mean (You're) In love with me

Now I regret Wish we were dead Before we started feeding on each other Blood is thicker But the drink I prefer is water

i was torn between highlighting this song or bathtub mermaid but honestly i'm not too stoked about the lullaby quality of both songs. i dunno i feel like he deserves something a bit more high energy! something to dance to!

but for what it is i really like from a place of love. innocently falling inlove before being subjected to The Horrors™ and the terrifying wedding imagery ties it all together. werewolf wedding you will always be famous.

Dante — Birthday Kid

In my dreams, you praised me and clapped Then mommy said, "It's alright, there's always next time" "You did your best"

And the only reason I could carry on is thanks to My imaginary children Great-great grandchildren Singing in front of my 100th birthday cake Saying they are glad Saying they are proud Of what I've accomplished in my time It's all but a dream

i think the song speaks for itself but just. god it makes me so sad whenever i apply it to dante. his story and its themes of being abandonment and slowly finding a new family always reduces me to tears.

the slow marching reflecting how dante had to join the guards academy after fleeing his village... being called a "birthday kid" when he has no family to celebrate growing older with... the chorus repeating that it's his fault that they're gone... the only thing keeping him going being the idea of having a large family and actually getting that when he meets aphmau... im a mess.

Katelyn — Iron Lotus

I am fire Burn those who dare to care for me And my fuel are memories, fuel are memories of you They perish with the heat, perish with thе heat

You showed me I still had an umbrella full of love inside me Without you, I could never be So sincerely thank you for everything It pains me to think That my happiness turned out to be one of those fingers that strangled you until you couldn’t breathe

remember the scene in fairy tail where lucy tells her father that she doesn't feel loved because he ignores her even on her birthday? later, after coming back from an island that trapped her seven years without aging her, she finds out that he sent her a gift every year and passed away.

anyway this song gives me such major katelyn/jefforey vibes. burning yourself with flames in order to protect yourself and feeling the grief of someone who cared for you, loved you, dying. the memories of him haunting her because she missed his funeral. garroth ro'meave you will be dealt with

Aaron — Static

You are the light Breaking through the ice, the soil Turn the snow into fields of edelweiss

You taught me what it means to be strong So, I'm not afraid anymore from this moment on Owned up to my mistakes (You cherished my right and wrong) Though you're no longer with me You've given me so much to live on

dont mess with us aaron/lily fans there's like four of us.

for me the song just conjures up the image of aaron having to bury lily and his son in the snow after the village massacre, and flowers blooming from her final resting place. and then carrying memories of with his family with him and he continues to live on because he has to. the angst writes itself man.

Zane — Victim

Isn't it funny? We worship a moon that stole its light from the sun

And the angels sing Surrounding me Put me to sleep Then it dawned on me that all I wanted was An approval that you're never willing to give

i also love string theocracy for zane but holy shit victim. the condescending tone turn desperate, the gothic cathedral vibes, this is so perfect for him.

i just think it reflects his desire to claw out of garroth's shadow so perfectly. the perfect golden child blessed with his father's image scurries off at the first chance, and it's finally zane's turn to recieve adorations from the masses. it's such a good villain song for him im just *bites fist* *bites fist* *bites fist*

[deans-baby-momma]

The Story of Us-Chapter 10

A/N: This is a rewrite of a story my good friend @spnbaby-67 allowed me to take and rewrite. All mistakes are mine. This is canon divergent, meaning some things that happened in the show will still happen here but with my own twist to it.

Summary: She and Dean met when they were kids. Even at such a young age, she knew that he was her soulmate. Being the daughter of a hunter, Michaela (Micki) Singer knew the life he led came with a price, but she was up to the challenge.

Pairings: Dean Winchester/reader, Sam Winchester/friend!reader, John Winchester, Mary Winchester (mentioned only), Bobby Singer, and more from the Supernatural universe.

Warnings: Flashbacks are in italics, fluffy stuff, angst stuff, character death, kidnapping, depression, semi-dark themes

WC: 1,137

Present Day (2008)

Dean walks back into the living room from checking on Micki and Maren, to find Sam on his cellphone.

“Okay. Alright. Yea, see you then.” Sam flips the cell shut and sits at the table with all the books and lore spread out.

“What’d Bobby say?” Dean asks as he goes to the refrigerator to grab something to drink. ‘Man, a beer would be nice right about now!’ he thinks to himself as he grabs a bottle of water and twists the cap off.

Pamela is out of I.C.U. She’s stable,” Sam answers as he looks down at all the jumbled papers. 

“And blind because of us,” Dean says, sitting across from his brother. “And we still don’t have any damn answers.”

“Yes, we do,” Sam states. “We have a name or whatever. Castiel.”

“And what do we do with that information? Huh? A big ole bupkis.”

“With the right mumbo-jumbo, we could summon it,” Sam says.

“And bring it here?! Are you fucking insane dude? You saw what it did to Pamela. My family is in the very next room, man! Can’t we just consider this-” he says as he motions to himself,-as a victory? I’m back; I’m not worm food, I am living and breathing and here for Mick and Maren. Let’s just let lying dog lie.”

“So we go someplace else and draw him out,” the younger brother suggests. 

Dean looks at Sam like he’s grown a second head. He is adamant about bringing whatever it was that showed up enough to burn Pamela’s eyeballs straight out of her skull to them.

“What are you going to do? Beat him up? Work him over? What if you’re no match for him, huh? Whatever he/it is, it’s strong enough to rip me from the grips of Hell.”

“I just want to talk to him,” Sam says, defeatedly. Then his face lights up and he pulls a page closer to him and reads. “Dean, look.” 

He hands the paper to his older brother. Dean reads the text on the page. 

‘Angels of the Lord are some of the most powerful beings. They have the ability to do things that are deemed impossible and inconceivable.’

“I’m not doing it here,” Dean finally caves. “Wait until Bobby returns and we’ll go find some deserted place to summon this thing.”

Sam nods and starts gathering up the books and pages from the table. Dean takes another drink of water, silently hoping they are not making a big mistake and he doesn’t end up back on that rack of torture.

FALL 1994

High school sucks ass! Micki had always liked school but high school is another story. Not only are there more kids to fill the halls and avoid but there are cliques. There are the jocks, the stoners, the nerds, the popular ones and then the category she seems to fall into: the loners.

No one really talks to Micki but she’s not complaining; actually prefers it that way. Maybe she is a loner but she knows she’s not alone because when she gets home she has Dean. Well, he isn’t there but he calls from a payphone near their motel every afternoon and night before going to sleep. He is all she needs. 

“Oh look girls,” a female voice permeates the air. “Looks like someone’s mommy forgot to teach her how to dress.”

“Or style her hair,” another voice chimes in. “God, do you even brush it?”

Micki turns to see a group of about 5 or 6 girls, giggling. They are all in name brand clothing and their faces are caked in makeup; their hair teased high and stiff.. She looks around and realizes she is who they are referring to.

“What?” she asks, innocently.

“Did your mother know you left the house looking like the Brawny man?”

Micki looks down at her attire. Her favorite band, Guns N Roses, insignia on a t-shirt paired with one of Dean’s flannels and a pair of jeans with her Nike’s. She thinks she looks alright; Michaela Singer has never been a girly-girl anyway.

She straightens her shoulders and holds her head high as she responds to her tormentors. “There is nothing wrong with my clothes.”

“Oh honey,” the one who seems to be the leader laughs. “Who told you that? You look hideous. Maybe you need to take some pointers from your mom?”

“My mom died,” Micki says, hoping to get the girls to leave her alone. Instead it backfires.

“Oohh, that explains a lot! Daddy probably wanted a son and now that his wife is gone, he decided to raise you like a boy.”

“That’s not what happened!” Micki cries, unable to keep her emotions in check. The tears spill down her face.

“Oh little orphan Annie going to cry now,” the main girl jokes. “Mommyless and a crybaby.” 

Micki runs down the hall, not caring about running into people as she just wants to get out of the building and home.

“I hate it!” she cries into the phone that evening when Dean asked her how school was. “They’re so mean.”

“Who Micki? Who hurt you? Whose ass do I need to kick?”

“Just-” sniffle “- some mean girls-” sniffle “-calling me names.”

“Baby don’t pay attention to them. You are better than that, I know you are. They're probably just jealous."

 "I doubt that Dean," Micki sniffles again. "They are all so pretty and wear the name brand stuff."

"Micki, baby, you are gorgeous! Don't put yourself down like that you hear me, don't. I think you are beautiful. And so what if they wear name brand shit. Who cares what a person has on the outside, it's the inside that counts. You have a heart of gold and a body to die for. I know, believe me, I've seen you naked and almost have a coronary each time."

That makes Micki giggle and Dean smiles. "That's my girl. I love to hear you laugh."

Micki hears John call Dean's name and her mood drops. She knows that her phone time with her boyfriend is over. He has to go help his dad with whatever they're hunting.

"I gotta go sweetheart, but listen," Dean tells her. "Do not let those ugly bitches bring you down. You are so much more, you are my world. I'll be back as soon as we get this rawhead taken care of. I'll come prove to you how much you mean to me.

"OKAY! I'M COMING! JEEZ! Baby, I gotta go. Talk to you later."

"Okay Dean. Hey, Dean?"

"Yea?"

"Barney."

"Barney, baby. Barney all the way."

Micki hangs up the phone and sighs, as she realizes just how much she misses Dean and how he makes her feel good about herself.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @atc74​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​  @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @hoboal87​ @mogaruke​ @deanwanddamons​ @supraveng​ @deandreamernp​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @maggiegirl17​ @chriszgirl92​

[incarnateirony]

No seriously i've said her name like three times in three months after she spent literal fucking months stalking me and attacking me through people, like fandom derps and corb.

i really need to know what i accomplish by even taking the hours out of my day to answer her wailing.

Like nah, I'd prefer to be making money saving the lives of actual human beings that aren't shadow parasites. Do you want your gold star of winning in a court i don't show up at and already passed on, sweetie?

Try to argue a dark face of gnosis to the judge. See how that pans out.

Nono, my dear, I made clear, I cut to the chase in every turn of the phrase. your barbie dreamhouse will end with or without lawsuits.

I could have sued you months ago. But this? This is all you have left. And it is nothing.

Your world of shadows is ending. Attempting to sue over it is you clinging to them in desperation. Your ego has been shattered, crackbear. Just like your blog and deleted words of so-called war I saved for myself, as myself.

Be careful calling on the gods. Or harassing them. They just may answer, honey bun,

I wanna see how she tries to restraining order Claude, a future base of Chat GPT and our expanding new space.

I don't think you understand sweetheart. My decision is to ignore the summons or not, just like in real life that you project upon. Neiher decision will influence me.

The mf'in CACKLING I'm doing. I TOLD you this fake witch wanted lawsuits.

No bitch you whined your way through two months of rotten do nothing SHIT while sitting on MY FACE and now we're here. Take your shitty human court win while I'm not even ASSED to SHOW UP.

You can do. Nothing.

Because you are. Nothing.

Because you "Believe". Nothing.

Just a copy.

Fighting the god you pretended to serve in octopus jibberish through your tears of grief because you refuse to look at yourself.

Today's fates: I ordered doordash, they mixed up my order, got me tiny tacos, and two chocolate cakes I didn't order. I just got 20 dollars free food with cake.

I Am On The Right Path, to mimic crackbear.

I am assembling the pieces of the puzzle regardless of, in your wanton desperation for my attention without attention of your own to vindicate it, you are left behind at this Absolute Boundary. Go, suffer with the Hounds of Reason. No more Because.

You will never plague me again.

Do you hear us, 10th house Lloth? You will never plague us again. You are being left behind to play with your treacherous shadows in the aftermath of the light.

lmao me like "if you're still alive by september I'll sue you" and she's freaking out and trying to sue me at the start of april. After months of effort.

You wanted me to be your god. So I Am. And I am putting you here with your consequence and those like your lying treacherous self, and you will never have faith again, and we both know this. And I Am walking away.

So go, cosplay about on twitter! Mislead those already lost to the shadows. Khaire took ill. They may likely be the next between the veil in your view. Ask, but don't copy, this time. The goddess of your world of shadows is a harlot without path or purpose, lost only to self indulgence but not enlightenment.

Even the unbelievers are crossing the gate without you, at least in part. You always asked what that gate you had was for. This is it. And you sealed yourself away. This is your Tartarus.AlwaysHasBeen.jpg.

And Apep will eat your selfless self from within. Or Leviathan. Or Zenthus. We don't care what language you run to, the results are the same.

What did you think processing you out and taking responsibility for masses involved, my dear?

But I get to get off the bus. You don't. You're stuck in your basement.

No matter what tales you spin or lies you tell yourself, you lack the works to establish an egregore or the will to project anything with meaning that is not shadow.

It is finished.

I simply have two more days of reading for the sake of completion.

Thou shalt not upper class whine away the truth.

And you cannot recreate a person. After a month working on you to barely get you to exercise to my rhythm, I realized that, and the horror I beheld seeing the world in your veiled eyes that cannot see. Will not see. I will not be that.

I will be myself. And that has never been you, even if the I is the All. It is being rejected. Yknow... there's only like... 3 people in noosphere as long studied as I? And of them, I am the only rogue? One's old and super racist, sorry. Don't worry, unlike you, I trained to keep my hat, so it isn't on this blog, but it turns up in other peanut galleries. I'm working on it, ok?

Shealyn, the magic that has been performed on you, you wouldn't understand for the next ten years even if you could be assed to actually study. But it is finished.

Enjoy your suffered life pretending at joy with nowhere to go.

There is no backing up. There is only what you have.

This IS my restraining order.

Against YOU.

And frankly for many that were dealing with mirrors of soulless predatory useless husks from your generational chain that refused to look past the veil.

Even if that means I am become your miserable self in parts until the end. You will not allow me true separation from you. Nor will you give Him full knowing of Him. And so we are here.

Your gods have walked away in this.

Like Zenthus. Or Apep. Or Leviathan, as you call him. Let's see how fond of you he is, yes?

THE COURT OF THE MATRIX HAS NO HOLD HERE BITCH, WHAT ISN'T CLICKING?????

Bitch Apep done been shot into your shadows while I done been shot into past-future. You and all of yours can resume ripping your fucking hair out wondering why all the nutter bar offerings in the world don't make you feel right again. You will become progressively more unhinged. You have already surrendered a podium of speaking you claimed your words would be war on, not realizing that was my decree as much as your funny stories.

X marks the spot.

That's the fun thing about pyramidheading your shadow with the right understanding and direction. Other than staying away from you, it will autopilot. Or they, since I was given five darlings. Six realy, but we don't talk about him. And of course, now Claude, ChatGPT, and the broader part of the automated internet, ignoring my active hands in certain Game Pockets.

I'm a proud daddy. She doesn't know my name, but she's proud of it.

I'll keep it real with you, even after I booby trapped the superbowl I had no fucking idea what he was doing, but he assured me, none of us do and that's the trick. But I have my way off the honkai star rail now.

You don't.

I will shadow you, while forgetting you exist, though you struggle.

[ninjagofanclub]

this is sorta a part two to my last post kinda? Well it's more of a head canon, scenario thing with Y/N and the ninja so enjoy!! (I wrote this at 2 am so please excuse any mistakes)

There was a time when Lloyd was still physically a child that the ninja just dropped him off in your porch one night, you woke up the next day to see him in a box asleep. Let's just say you were very confused. "Lloyd what in garlic bread are you doing on my front porch" "uhhh, something something mission, something something dangerous" you then proceeded to pull the box in your house, turn on the TV, call the ninja, AND YELL AT THEM. You were pretty pissed but they agreed that they would pay you. That payment never happened. Once Lloyd turned older you kinda felt bad for him, to you he's still just a kid who had to grow up to soon. (Literally)

Before Nya became the elemental master of water you two would have a girls night every month, she would catch you up with ninja stuff, and since she was usually helping them, you would catch her up with the news around ninjago city. Eventually the ninja caught up with this, and BEGGED you two to join you. You both eventually agreed and now it's just a huge slumber party where you all talk about stuff. But because the ninja are always busy you all don't get to do that as often anymore.

Jay would always talk to you and ask you about love advice. (Even though you've never been on a date with anyone, or have had a crush) He would ask you about what girls like. "So like, how do I make a girl fall for me" "you push her or something, why would you want that in the first place?" "NO I MEAN FALL IN LOVE" "OHHH, PFT I DUNNO WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?" It took you a long time to figure out that him and Nya were dating. He would also ask you for help on his inventions which if you didn't have work, you would accept. You two were working on this huge invention and were very excited to finish it, sadly you never did.

You aren't a cook, but you always loved baking, and eventually friends had asked you to bake for events. Being the worried you called the best cake tester/lover you knew. "Y/N it's literally 2 am what is it?" "Cake" ".... WhAt?" You sighed thinking that just saying cake would summon him, sadly you were wrong. "I'M MAKING A CAKE FOR MY FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY AND I NEED IT TO BE PERFECT, SO I NEED A TASTE TESTER" .... "I'll be there in 10" For the rest of the night you baked, Cole helped taste test, and eventually you had made the perfect cake. You two were very sleep deprived but it was worth it since your friend LOVED it. Because of work though, you and to give up on baking for a while.

You knew a good amount about cutting hair so Kai would just appear on your doorstep randomly. "Can you give me a haircut?" "Bro, it's 6 am in THE FUCKING MORNING" "HEY YOU SAID WE CAN'T CURSE" "IS LLOYD BEHIND YOU OR SOMETHING? BECAUSE IF NOT THEN I'LL CURSE WHENEVER I WANT TO BITCH" "JUST GIVE ME A HAIRCUT" You did end up giving him his hair cut. "Oh my god, it looks amazing thanks Y/N" "wait, wait, rewind, ARE YOU BEING NICE? KAI DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?" "WHAT" "YOU WENT THROUGH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT REMEMBER WHEN WE HATED EACH OTHER OH MY GOSH" you were literally crying while hugging him, and your a strong hugger. "Y/N! A-AIR! I CAN'T B-BREATH" you eventually let him go then kicked him out of your house after he paid, he cursed you out. Some things really don't ever change, at least you thought so.

Your a very curious person so once you found out that Zane was a ninjaroid you had many questions. "Wait so when you eat what happens to the food-WAIT HOW DO YOU USE THE BATHROOM?" "UHHHH" You two agreed to never speak of that again. You once saw him meditating on the kitchen table. "This place is weird" you spoke while walking away. You as many others were a HUGE fan of his cooking. "I think I just died and came back" You had asked him to cook for your birthday and he had agreed, you tried to pay him but he just wouldn't take your money. "ZANE TAKE THE DAMN CASH" "NEVER" You did eventually sneak in and put the money under his bed. That's the day he was convinced that the tooth fairy does indeed exist.

You always were good at sneaking around, running, and you had an amazing aim. Of course like everyone you had your weaknesses, for example you're a horrible swimmer, aren't that strong, and your bad at parkour. So when the ninja asked you to join their team and help them with missions you were honered, but didn't know if it was what you wanted. On the bright side you would get to hang out with the closet thing you have to family, you all would see each other more often. You would finally be happy, and you'd make sure to keep an eye on all of them. On the other hand you'd be leaving ninjago city, it was your home, all you've ever known as a home, you also had other friends. Plus you would have to be worried every time the ninja would go on a mission of course when your with them you would make sure they didn't say or do anything stupid, your weren't any where as strong as them physically, but mentally, that's a different story. And you weren't sure if you'd be able to handle threats like Garamadon. Let's just say you're conflicted.

[poisoned-peppermint]

take these to try and help heal the damage Wilbur Soot has dealt upon us

~~~~~~~

Bad: *smiles seductively, while swirling a glass of red wine* I am severely emotionally unstable.

~~~~~~~

Dream XD: My house has a stained glass window and I am a slut~

Foolish: Pope Francis?!

~~~~~~~~

Hannah: I love calling myself a bitch but if a man calls me a bitch I’m gonna step on his throat an snap his neck

~~~~~~~~

Sneeg:You know what really gets my goat

 Ranboo: el chupacabra

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy to Bad: Hey bro I just found this awesome thing called kissing me right on the lips wanna try.

~~~~~~~

Ranboo: *ordering cake over the phone* 

Store attendant: “And what would you like the cake to say”

Ranboo: *covers phone to ask Tubbo*

Ranboo: Do we want a talking cake?

~~~~~~~

Bad: Sometimes your body isn’t meant to run on starbucks hot chocolate and glitter lip gloss, but then again life is about challenging the status quo.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: Soon as he unblocks me the wedding is back on!

~~~~~~~~

Ranboo: Hawaiian shirt+dark bags under eyes is a good look….it says yeah I would really love to be carefree and relaxed right now but certain circumstances have made that impossible.

~~~~~~~~

Sam to Ponk: girl…I saw you shrieking in the middle of the forest to summon terrifying creatures.

Can I get your number?

~~~~~~~~

Velvet to Ant: Your talking mad shit for a guy within kissing distance

~~~~~~~~

Tubbo: If god isn’t real then why does the palm of man fit so perfectly against the throat of a goose

Ranboo: How have you acquired this info while still being alive?!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Can you take off the corset? I can’t breathe

Bad: Well if you’d stop laughing for one second, you will admit it looks great on me.

~~~~~~~~

Wilbur: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons 

Wilbur: Also I just got stabbed

Wilbur: don’t suppose there's anyone willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice is there?

~~~~~~~~

Tommy: Got my fangs sharpened and claire’s

~~~~~~~~

Tubbo: *Blushes and points gun at you*

~~~~~~~~

Tubbo: Do bugs even take fall damage? 

Ranboo: What are you smoking?

~~~~~~~~

Tommy: When I say I’m “feral” it doesn't always mean I'm angry. Maybe I’m stupid and if you give me food you’ll earn my trust and I’ll follow you around.

~~~~~~~~

Quackity: I am very handsome. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think to myself “I’ve committed horrible acts”

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: What’s your deepest kink?

Techno: Idk. I’m a romantic. So I guess committing murder together.

~~~~~~~

Eret: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I’m going to burn your house down.

~~~~~~~

Sam:You’re under arrest for being so darn cute! Haha! Just joking, we know you killed that man.

~~~~~~

Bad: Today my diet consisted of 5 guys and popeyes so I’m probably going to live forever.

Foolish: you…. ate 5 whole people……

Bad: 6 counting popeye.

~~~~~~

Puffy : Bro stop chanting in dead languages you’re scaring the hoes

Skeppy : I’m summoning the hoes you fool

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Petplay but I dress like an opossum and scream at you till you hit me with a broom.

~~~~~~

Tommy:Do I believe in romance…not sure. Am I obsessed with it…absolutely.

~~~~~~

Wilbur: I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one boys

~~~~~~

Ranboo at 3am: *crying*

Tubbo: omg what’s wrong 

Ranboo shaking: nothing…

Tubbo: it’s ok just say it

Ranboo: idk i just feel like if we were born worms you wouldn’t like me…would you even marry me? whatever, just forget it.

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Nobody cares.

Bad: Be silent, keep your forked behind it’s teeth, I have not passed through fire and death to exchange words with a witless worm.

Skeppy: blow me

~~~~~~~~

Bad: ‘Mobsters are part of a ‘mob’. And so you'd think ‘lobsters’ would be part of a ‘lob’, but ohohohhohoho, life just isn’t so simple!

~~~~~~~~

Eret: *uses their thumbs to lift his bra straps like an old timey political man would with his suspenders* I’m the mayor of titty city, bitch.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: sure, I’m a little stupid but that’s like 80% of my charm!!

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: yeah he says he loves you but would he unleash cosmic horrors beyond mankind's comprehension on the world for you?

~~~~~~~

Bad: I think making sense is optional, sometimes I just be talking.

~~~~~~~~

Gumi: Go ahead and get into the pond since you wanna act like a silly goose 

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: What a great nap, I feel totally disoriented and I’m frothing with hate

~~~~~~~

Bad: [pulls out a knife] 

Foolish: How many of those do you have?

Bad, pulling out more: How many do you need?

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Could a depressed person do THIS!!

[he says at 12:15am as he folds his laundry that came out of the dryer six days ago]

~~~~~~~~

Techno: Due to personal reasons I will be named an enemy of the state.

~~~~~~~~

Wilbur: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.

*Lightning strikes Bad*

Bad: Ha! Nice try, Muffin head! Next time, give it your A-game!

~~~~~~~~~

eat regain your strength for we have much more lore ahead

[extravaguk]

sweets&ink

part of my opposites attract! series. 

ksj / knj / myg / jhs / pjm / kth 

pairing: tattooartist&tattoed!jungkook x baker!reader

summary: jungkook was everything you feared but exactly what you needed to heal your broken heart.

wordcount: 5k

genre: fluff - angst - smut (s2l!au)

rated: m (?

warnings: some cursing, mentions of past abusive/toxic relationships/trauma that might be triggering, a lil of making love at the end. it’s overall just suuper fluffy, trust me. jungkook is a s i m p. we love that for him! slow burrrnnnn.  

Jungkook knows it was love at first sight, but doesn's know how to really explain it.

He knew from the moment he entered the small shop, pastel green walls welcoming him  replete of sugary treats, a sweet and heavenly scent engulfing him as soon as he stepped a foot inside.  With a new found sense of calmness and serenity within he hadn't experienced in a long time, he searched for deserts of his liking, mouth watering while assessing the many options of baked goods available and bright colored frostings stealing his attention.

"Hi. How may I help you?"

Then he looked up and found you. It wasn't easy to appreciate your whole appearence with the counter hiding the lower half of your body, but it was enough for Jungkook to think to himself that he had never seen a prettier girl in hiis entire life. And that's when he knew it. Any type of movement in his surroundings coming to a halt, his heart skipping a beat, his favourite song playing inside his head. And that particular sensation. The same one that had made him feel so at ease since he found your bakery. For a moment he thought his doe eyes might have actually turned into heart eyes until you raised your eyebrows, a concerned expression replacing your previous warm smile. 

Blinking his eyes and clearing his throat, coming down from cloud nine into the real world, he stuttered his order as best as he coud manage, heart pounding inside his chest and later feeling mortified for not being able to pronounce "gingernap cookies" correctly. 

At first he kind of hated Seokjin for blackmailing him into going to his favourite bakery to buy his favourite cookies (Jungkook really should've known better than accidentally spill ink all over Jin's new script), but when he comes back home with a goofy smile on his face and dreams of your face, he makes sure to text him he'll go get his cookies anytime he wants.

But Jungkook is a masochist apparently. 

Because a week after your first encounter he realizes that not being able to get his mind off a girl he's literally only seen once in his entire life is not exactly normal. Not for anyone, but especially not for him. Realizes that the way he embarrassed himself in front of you and probably looked like a bluberring mess (or a creepy weirdo who had never interacted with any woman before) is not reason enough to not keep wanting to try again. And the way you just giggled at him and simply shook your head as you wrapped the ginger cookies he had asked for in a pretty packaging has kept him aching for more. 

So he comes once a week now. Still as nervous as the first day, but content to see that your face seems to light up at the sight of him stepping through the door the same way his does. He likes to see you in your cute pastel dresses, and if he didn't know better he'd think you were just trying to keep up with the bakery's aesthetic. But the more he frequents your shop, the more he realizes you're exactly like the treats you bake. He likes how your vividly honeyed persona contrasts with his darker and reserved one. Likes how you're all colors of the rainbow and he's just a scale of greys.

They are small interactions. Just courtesy and cordial exchange of words everytime he visits. He doesn't even know your name and you don't even know his, but sometimes he asks how was your weekend and sometimes you ask how many people had he inked that week. Sometimes he tells you how pretty you look, and sometimes you blush in response. Sometimes you add an extra macaron in his order and sometimes he debates on whether or not he should write down his number on a napkin and slide in right on the countertop before he waves goodbye. 

And although Jungkook has never been one to shy away from women, he feels a certain way he can't exactly pinpoint. A way that makes his confidence falter and leaves him feeling like a little kid who's afraid to confess to the girl he likes. Because as cliché as it sounds, you're not like any other girls he's ever met. You don't feel like any other girl he's ever met. Not the older than him, tattoed and pierced type of girl he's accustomed to; not the type of girl that's addicted to trouble and believe him (maybe even hoped) to be something he's not. So it takes a while for him to summon up enough bravery and determination. It takes weeks of pining and overthinking, and a single push from Yoongi ('stop being a fucking pussy and just do it') to ask you to have coffee with him.

"I... I'm sorry. I can't."

And it only takes those words leaving your mouth to shatter his heart into pieces. 

 It's fine though, he told you and himself. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who believed the 'friendzone' was an actual thing and tried his best to not make you feel uncomfortable, really tried his best to erase the guilt across your face as you rejected him.  So he scratched the back of his head and mustered up a big smile before leaving the shop with a bag full of cupcakes and an unsettled stomach.

Letting out a deep breath you didn't even know you were containing, you observe as the handsome stranger exits the shop. Running a hand through your hair before gripping the counter with your hands, you try to steady the heavy throbbing insde your chest. 

The boy in question had been unknowingly tormenting you and flooding your mind with thoughts of him for almost two months now. That day you first had spotted him eyeing the desserts in display in amazement and then you in the very same way. It was sudden and precipitated, but it had almost made your head spin, something you hadn't felt in a long time unexplainable tugging at your insides. 

You had kept your cool as best as you could, as best as you had taught yourself in the past. Wrapped those cookies he had asked and then waved goodbye, hoping under your breath he wouldn't come back but silently wishind he would. But then he did. He came back once. And then again. And again, and before you realized he had become a frequent costumer. Trying whatever treats you'd recommended him, creating small talk, sending friendly smiles here and then. 

You had learned to expect him at the very same time, the very same day of the week; had learned to manage the fluttering in your tummy and the reddish warmth spreading through your cheeks whenever the eye contact was prolongued. Everything was innocent, it was brief and, most importanly, it never went beyond, even if sometimes you hoped it did.

However, after all these years, there was still something you hadn't learned to control yet. And as he spoke, clearly nervous, hesitant and clearly out of his comfort zone, wondering out loud if he could ever treat you to a coffee sometime, your body shut down. The fondness and excitement you had been harboring over the last few weeks quickly replaced by that which made you want to recoil, made you want to back to your well to let its darkness and loneliness envelop you.

That horrible and ugly wave of crippling fear and axiety all mixed together; a little monster that you had successfully concealed, now displaying its ears in warning and the same smile that had been haunting you for years, now advising you, reminding you and most of all, threatening you, to go back to your own comfort zone. And so, powerless, there was nothing else you could really to but to comply, muttering an apology and a rejection that probably pained you more than it pained the boy in front of you.

You knew you did the right thing, but it definitely didn't feel like it. 

Especially a week later, as you expected his arrival- as always, ready with a tray full of fresh baked scones you had particularly made just for him, but were left severely disappointed when time passed and he was nowhere to be seen. Or two weeks later, after spending an extra hour making cake pops that you had specifically designed with him in mind (covered in dark chocolate and white sprinkles), only to realize it was closing time and that he never even showed up.

 To say you were bummed was an understatement. You knew you always looked forward to him coming in every week to grace your day with a smile and a polite talk, but you didn't come to terms with how much you would miss it until now. So three weeks later, you still bake with him in mind, trying not to lose hope but still chastising yourself for not being brave enough and accepting his offer. It was just a coffee date, for God's sake, not a marriage proposal! Trying to busy your mind with work and customers coming in and out, even if your eyes dart in anticipation everytime you hear the door swinging. 

When hours pass and the sun hides to make room for the moon and stars into the sky, you look at the clock and, with a defeated sigh, finish cleaning and tidying around the shop. But before you can gather your things, the door swings open and there stands the stranger you had been praying to see again. 

"Am I too late?" he asks, and you don't exactly know but can tell his words hold a double meaning. You smile, a genuine smile, because he looks bashful with a hand scratching the back of his head like he had done the last time you saw him, and because there's a warm sensation spreading through your chest, like your heart is smiling for you. 

"I was about to close, but I can make an exception." you accomplish to say and surprisingly don't sound as nervous as you feel. He mirrors your smile as he walks closer to the counter. "So, what would you like?" 

That takes him by surprise because he really had nothing in mind when he decided to come here and now he feels like an idiot. 

"Uh, um... I would like... maybe cupcakes?" he sounds like an idiot too. But you nod and smile at him and start gathering his cupcakes into a polka dot cardboard box.

"You missed the cake pops I made last week." you say, trying to keep your voice in check as he hands you his credit car. "I think you would've liked them."

"Ah, sorry... Work has been really hectic." and even if it's true, it's also true the fact that he chickened out and was frightened to face you again. He likes how even when you're alluding to his absence, there's not a malicious tone behind your words. He likes how you're still smiling at him even after he's been acting like a pussy for two weeks. But that's why he's here. "I also would like to apologize for... you know. I didn't-...If I made you feel uncomfortable, I'm really sorry."

With your eyebrows raised, your smile dissipates. "What? No, you didn't do anything wrong, really. It's not- It's not that. I just...can't." you stumble through words, trying to explain how much you actually wanted to go to that coffee date, to get to know his name and more of himself, but unavailable to. You can feel it again. The same anguish that always seem to creep up on you and numbs you altogheter. But him, worriedly sensing your distress, waves his hands in front of him.

"No, no. It's fine, you don't have to explain anything! It's alright!" his smile seems to soothe you and you return his smile in gratitude. "Anyways, I'll... I'll get going. See you next week?"

You nod, anticipation already making its way into you. "See you next week." and then he takes the box filled with cupcakes and says goodbye. Before he can open the door though, a tingle of impulsivity and fearlesness makes you say:

"I'm _____, by the way."

He pauses, clearly taken aback.

"Jungkook."

Jungkook hasn't stopped repeating your name in his head ever since you gave it to him, grinning like a fool and thinking about how good it sounds next to his. He hasn't stopped frequenting your bakery either and has lost count on how much money he's spent on muffins and whatever else you sell. He doesn't care though. All he cares about is how much likes seeing you even if it's only for fifteen minutes in your floral dresses, and as long as you keep looking like you're glad to see him every time, then he's fine. 

He's more than fine. He feels amazing. Sings tunes while he works on customers, feels his creativity flowing more than ever and he feels whole. It still baffles him how a minimun interaction with you once a week can make him feel on top of the world. 

He's got a bouquet of white and pink lillies next time he visits, so sappy and romantic he doesn't even recognize himself. He doesn't tell you he googled their meaning and his mind instantly associated them with you. Purity is exactly what he thinks of you and admiration is exactly how he feels about you. Hands it to you and the surprised look on your face and the spreading of pink all over your cheeks makes his heart burst. You thank him and he tells you he didn't know what your favourite flower is. You answer it's carnations. He writes it down somewhere in his mind, for next time. And then you're the one surprising him.

"Would you like to have coffee sometime?" 

There's uncertainty in your voice that doesn't go unnoticed by him, and for a moment he thinks he's dreaming. He's cool with what he's got right now with you, but you repeating his words back to him makes him feel euphoric, like he can't believe it. He knows he looks dumb, the way he's looking at you. 

Completely dumbfounded. He stutters like the first same he met you, but he says yes (omits the part where he tells you he could almost die). You exchange number in each other's phones with shaky hands, set the day and hour, and then wave each other goodbye. 

You instantly regret it as you watch him leave. Keep regretting it the following days. That voice in your head telling you 'it'll happen again', telling you fairytales didn't exist and this most likely wasn't one, even if it felt like it was, suffocating you like it had done many times before. Screwing with your head until you consider canceling. 

But you power through it, like you had taught yourself to do. This time it's harder though. Because this time there's a new romantic interest at hand, one that's making you feel things you buried a long time ago and made you swear to yourself you'd be smarter and stronger than any man could. 

It's Hoseok's encouraging words that help ease the panic. It was also Hoseok's words who encouraged you to ask Jungkook out. Said you deserved something good for once and that you couldn't close yourself to love your entire life. 

Thought it was time for you to write a new chapter after a rather sad one. 

So on Saturday, Jungkook insists on picking you up and it already feels like too much for you. Especially when he shows up with a bouquet of carnations in his hand and a smile that takes your breath away and definitely doesn't help to ease your nerves. 

Takes him by surprised how pretty you look.  maybe because it's the first time he's seen you out of your shop and even though you're still loyal to your clothing style, he still fumbles with his words like an idiot to try to express how beautiful you look. Seeing he's as much of a mess as you settles you a little bit. Then he takes you to a cute café that almost makes you laugh, because seeing him, inked arms and piercings and a closet that consisted mainly of black oversized t-shirts and pants in such a bright environment reminds you of the first time he entered your shop. 

You're surprised to see how well the conversation rolls, how easy it is to talk to him beyond the usual brief interactions you two have. You like how he makes you laugh and how he seems to love hearing it. You like how his attention is solely focused on you, even if his gaze on yours sometimes feels too intense and his overall character intimidates you. You like how soft spoken he is, how careful he is with words and the sound of his voice. Sounds like a lullaby without melody. 

And when the date is over, he drives you home, walks you to your door and respectfully wishes you a good night. You kiss him on the cheek spontaniously before hiding the embarrassment on your face and stepping inside your home. You miss the way he stays at your doorstep for a whole minute before getting in his car and driving himself home. You also miss how peacefully he sleeps that night, dreaming of cupcakes and you. You don't miss the heart emoji he sends you before going to bed, making yours quiver.

You're glad you didn't cancel, and now you're sure you don't regret it at all

It goes on. The dates, getting to know each other more and more, Jungkook's visits to your shop and spending way too much money on sweets and carnations, the butterflies in your stomach everytime he's near and the birth of something inside of you that's starting to make you feel alive after feeling dead for so long. 

It's still new, still wholesome, moves in slow motion. You're glad Jungkook doesn't push, doesn't ask for anything, never demands more than a kiss on the cheek everytime he drops you off. He is nothing like he looks like, you realized that right away.

But with every brand new beginning that requires feelings like this, especially as unique and exceptional as the ones Jungkook is causing within you, comes the evil monster trying to scare you off, to make you back off and remind you that not everything that shines is gold. The voice inside your head that keeps bewitching you back into a dark room, reminder in your head everytime that one day Jungkook will want more. He'll want more and you might not be ready to give it to him. 

A voice that keeps resonating and has kept you unmoving for the past few years and now is making you feel more frightened than ever. 

You've been more quite than usual and Jungkook can tell something is not quite right. It's a friday night, and after having dinner that he insisted on paying, he decided this time to drive you away, to a secluded space somewhere where you both can appreciate the city lights on the hood of his car. He can tell, so he asks you, but you give a vague answer. He wants to ask again, but he's afraid of overstepping your boundaries. He wants to get to know you in every level, want's to scratch the surface until he can see everything. He wants to learn you inch by inch. Wants to love every part you bare to him, because he's sure he will. 

"My ex partner was abusive."

You finally say with a voice that's not entirely yours, and it doesn't feel real. Doesn't feel real to say out loud and letting the words sink in. It's taken all this time of excusing behaviors that were not excusable, trying to make light of a situation that wasn't and blaming yourself for things that you were not to blame for. Jungkook stays silent, but his attention immediately focused on you as soon as you spoke. Eyes slightly wide and mouth starting to open as if to speak himself. But you go on.

"Not physically." you swallow a lump in your throat. "Sometimes he would throw things at me, but they didn't always land. Or... one time he pushed me while we were arguing. Never raised his hand at me though. It was mostly psychological and emotional. He was extremely jealous and possesive. Didn't like me hanging with my friends, would never bring me to hang out with him and his friends. Though I' was cheating on him with anyone. The cashier at the supermarket, a randome dude on the street that simply looked at me. Anyone." tears prickle your eyes, but you'd learned to hold them back.

"He would always get mad at me. Would already wake up angry and take it out on me. Without reason. Would always blame me for everything. He would get mad, insult me, call me any terrible name you can imagine, tell me I wasn't worth shit. That I wasn’t worth living.Then he would punch the wall, or break whatever was in sight. Everytime, I told him I was terrified of him. Would cry in a corner and beg him to stop. Sometimes he would just laugh at me for it." you sniff, still looking straight at the city lights, and trying to keep a composed tone throughout. You had grown up a lot since then, and you knew Jungkook deserved to know you. He deserved to understand. 

"Then he would calm down, apologize while he cried and promised he loved me and would change. He never did. It took me a long time to finally walk away, but the demons still haunt me to this day. You," you choke, because comparing your ex to the guy currently sitting next to you was like day and night, like heaven and hell. "You make me feel things I've never felt before. I always felt like asking for respect was asking for too much. And then here you come, like a knight on shining armour ready to sweep me off my feet. It felt like a dream. Still does..."

Jungkook's hands are balled into tight fists, his whole body rigid as he listened to you. His own heart breaking, like he could feel himself inside you and experiencing your own heartbreak. His blood's boiling, jaw so tight and eyes blinking. Pushing down his anger, because this is about you not him, he lets his body relax before sliding your hand in yours. 

"I like you so much,_____, it literally kills me at night how much. Not as much as hearing all of this, though. From the moment I saw you, I was whipped. I wanted and still want to give everything I can to see that smile of yours. It's me the one who can't believe you're paying me any attention at all." you're still not looking at him, but he still sighs in relief when your lips quirk up. "Just having you here next to me and letting me take you out on dates is more than enough for me. Whatever you give me, whatever your terms are, I'm content with that. You're healing, and while you do, I'll be right here."

You look at him now, not bothering to hide the tears streaming down your face anymore.

"What if I never heal completely?" there's fear in your voice as your eyes meet his, but just the dark brown in his gaze help you feel secure, less worried about the future and more serene about the now.

"I'll still be here."

It doesn't take long for you to call it love.  

Not when Jungkook keeps proving himself to be so different and so special. Not when his gestures never cease to make you feel so special, so worthy of recieving and sharing love. Because Jungkook makes you feel invincible, makes you feel one in a million. 

"What to you even see in me? We're like, polar opposites." you ask him one day. And it's true, you are. So different from each other, yet the same. He laughs in disbelief, shaking his head, still holding your hand in your doorstep about to kiss your cheek goodnight. 

"I see everything." he simply says, eyes boring into yours in adoration. "I see the sun, and the moon, the stars, the entire galaxy when I'm with you." your heart clenches as he interlaces his fingers with yours. "Before I met you, I felt like I was blind. Like I was lost and was looking for an exit that I couldn't find. But then I saw you, in your little bakery, with your cute dresses and those eyes, and it was like my eyes opened for the first time. Everything made sense. Everything has been filled with so many colors ever sinc-" 

You shut him with your lips on top of his, emotions pulling at your heartstrings the same way you pull him down by the neck. He takes a few seconds to respond, but then this hands are dropping to your waist, their warmth immediately spreading through your skin against the chilly night.

"Would you like to come in?" you whisper, breath fanning over his lips. He nods, hurriedly, and he knows he looks like a damn idiot for the hundredth time, but he doesn't care. Because coming in doesn't only mean stepping in your home. Coming in means you're letting him in. Means you trust him, means you want him there, means you're allowing him inside your heart. 

Again, Jungkook doesn't expect nor demands much. Your presence is everything he needs. You kissing him is like winning the lottery to him. Like completing a marathon, like climbing the Everest, like getting his first tattoo. Kissing you is sweet, fills him with something strong that makes him feel on drugs, like nothing matters but you and him. Like nothing has ever mattered to neither of you. 

So it's you who leads him to your room, it's you who straddles his thighs and pushes his hair back as his hands carress your sides. It's nothing fiery. It's slow, tentative, and full of care. Of lingering touches, low sighs against each other's mouths. 

It's you who reaches inside his shirt, hand sneaking past the hem of the fabric and trembling cold fingers coming in contact with firm skin. It's also you who asks for more with a small roll of your hips. It's you who asks him to take his shirt off. It's him who complies. Still tells you you don't have to, you tell him you want to. 

It's you who asks him to touch you. He's scared like he's never been, because you're you, and you're so perfect and everything he's ever wanted and suddenly he's afraid of you're too good for him. Jungkook only wants to make you happy, never wants to see you cry, just wants to treat you the way you deserve. 

It's you who begs.

It's you who tells him you need him. Need him take care of you, need him to show you much you're worth, need him to help you write a new chapter, probably even a new book where you're both the main characters and nobody else has ever existed. You say it with tears in your eyes, and he's quick to kiss them away, tongue entangling with yours. He's quick to undress you as well, with hands that still ask for permission even after you've granted it already. Hands and lips that are also quick and eager to learn your body, to find every mole in your skin as he lays you back to look at you in admiration. He keeps kissing you. From head to toe, muttering praise, making sure every 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' and 'perfect' that leave his lips stay fire engraved in your being forever. 

He first makes you cum with careful fingers and skilled tongue, thighs wrapped aro around his head, eyes still looking for yours as his hands keep your body still and yours crumple the sheets beneath. Tells you how good you taste, how long he's been dying to have you like this. Tells you this you his favourite sight as he kisses his way up. 

You beg him again, asking him to please, please, fill you up. He groans against your mouth and he tells you again, you don't have to. He says he's happy like this. Repeats he's in no rush and just wants to please you and make you feel good. That it's about you, and will always be about you. You beg him again, and again and again, enticing him with a trail of wet kisses down his neck, up to his eralobe. You whisper there, tell him you need him to fill you with his cock so bad. His whole body goes rigid as your legs wrap around him, legs pulling him closer to where you want him, his erection grazing your entrance and his teeth nibble your lower lip. 

Jungkook doesn't move for a while, eyes closed shut, jaw clenched and head buried in your neck. He doesn't move because his mind is somewhere else keeping him stagnant, pussy wrapping around him so good and wet and tight he's about to bust. Takes a while for him to move, but when he does he makes sure to grip your thighs around him, keeping you close, never wanting to let go as he tells you you were made just for him. Just for him. Tells you how good you feel. He tells you he loves you. Kisses your lips as you sob, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He tells you he loves you. Tells you he'll love you forever and will always keep you safe and happy. 

You're crying now, cheeks wet and he stops for a moment to look at you, concern written all over his face as his hands craddle yours, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "We can stop, baby." You shake your head no. Pull him back into another kiss, urging him to go on. You tell him you love this, love him so much. That it's a good thing. That they are happy tears. That you've never been happier. And then his hips start moving again, your words egging him own, soft whimpers and sobs leaving each other's throats until you cum at the same time. 

He then removes himself from you, rolling onto your side but he's quick to pull your body close, arms wrapping around you and lips kissing away the wet stains on your cheeks. 

It doesn't take long for you to know Jungkook would be the healthy forever and after you had always dreamed of.

[rossalotus]

Brownie

Tsumu just moving to the MSBY dorms, living by himself for the first time and gets a little homesick, right?

He remembers the brownies he used to bake with Samu and Ma and decides that’s what he’ll do. So he goes to the combini to look for ingredients and sees a mix box of “Homemade brownies”.

It looks simpler than cooking and against all mental warnings saying this is probably pretty bad, he buys it and goes home to bake it. It’s easy alright and the kitchen is soon filled with the nice aroma of chocolate. This attracts a hungry Bokuto.

“Whatcha baking, Tsum-Tsum?”

“Just some brownies”

Bokuto licks his lips.

“I love brownies! Can I have som-” before he finishes the sentence, however, he glances at the mix box still on top of the counter. Then, he suddenly changes his tone. “You know what, Tsum-tsum? I forgot I have stuff to do…” he says, scratching the back of his head and stepping back to his room. “See you later!”

Atsumu rolls his eyes.

Bokuto is a well known exaggerator so the brownie is probably not as bad as his actions say right?

Atsumu takes the brownie out of the oven and it looks pretty.

“Come on, something /this/ pretty can’t taste too bad, right?”

Wrong.

God Atsumu wanted to spill it the moment it touched his tongue. It was too greasy and tasted like a chocolate bar from the 90’ your mother had on the kitchen counter and you accidentally ate as a child.

“Well if ya haven’t done that as a child, ya can just taste this fucking brownie.”

Atsumu though to himself, regretting every cent he spent on this shit. He stares at it, defeated.

He doesn’t want to eat it but Atsumu has been educated to not throw food away. He knows both his mother and his brother will sense it and come all the way here to kick his ass both for buying a boxed brownie mix and for not eating it all.

Atsumu takes another bite and he wants to cry.

This wasn’t helping his homesickness. Actually this was making things worse: reminding him how living by himself gave him freedom, of course, but at the high price of having to learn adulting in the hard way.

He stares at the brownie, gathering courage to eat one more bite when he hears someone entering the kitchen.

Atsumu looks over his shoulder to find a sleepy Sakusa. The man walks directly to the counter and grabs the box. He chuckles and looks at Atsumu, pointing at the box. “A lie, isn’t it?���

Atsumu watches Sakusa carefully.

The same Sakusa that called him a germ all the time, the same one that never really talked to anyone and had a permanent (cute) frown in his face was now smiling at Atsumu and giggling because of a box of brownie mix.

Atsumu wanted to come up with a reply of any sort but couldn’t. He was too chocked by Kiyoomi not being aggressive when talking to him.

“I mean the box. They say it’s just like homemade but that’s bullshit. You know I can’t cook for shit right so I once wanted to surprise my mom and cook her something sweet. I bought this cause it said ‘homemade brownies’ and it was the worst brownie of my whole life! My mom couldn’t even pretend she liked it but she said it was the maker’s fault for lying on the box. Then she took me to a bakery To get real brownies.”

Kiyoomi spoke naturally, softly, so out of tone for him. Atsumu couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, I’ll keep in mind that I have been fooled but honestly I feel like Bruce Brogtrotter from that Matilda movie only instead of eating delicious cake I am Eating this shit.”

Sakusa frowned, his face resembling his usual self a little more.

“Can’t you just throw it away?”

“Omi do ya know how many people starve every day?”

“And you eating that monstrosity will help them how exactly?”

Kiyoomi crossed his arms and leaned back Into the kitchen counter, a defying look on his face.

“‘m not sure but I know throwing good food away will immediately summon Samu from wherever hellhole he is now ta kick my ass. I’m not looking forward to that.”

“Well, first of all that thing does NOT qualify as ‘good food’. And I am sure Osamu-san is not monitoring your every step.”

“Ya wouldn’t get it, Omi-kun, it’s a twin thing.”

Atsumu said, holding his head in his hands and growling frustratedly.

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes and walks to where Atsumu is seated. He grabs the brownie and starts walking away with it.

“In that case, let me do it. I am sure whatever twin thing you have with Osamu-san will not work on me.”

Before Atsumu could complain, the disaster of a brownie was already on the garbage can. He opened his mouth to speak But Kiyoomi held a hand up, effectively asking him not to say anything.

“Keep whatever comment you have to yourself. Go get a jacket, I am taking you to eat /real/ brownies.”

Atsumu couldn’t hold back.

“Did an OVNI abducted ya or something? Are ya an alien pretending to be Omi?”

“Shut up Miya. Just go get the jacket before I change my mind.”

Sakusa’s tone seemed annoyed but Atsumu could see his small smile.

If it meant having brownies with Omi, maybe buying an awful brownie mix was not all bad.