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yes-but-theyre-my-dorks · 6 months

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Buzzfeed Unsolved x MCU: The Battle of New York

summary: Shane and Ryan do a Supernatural Unsolved episode on the Battle of New York

rating: PG-13 for language

warnings: none really? language

word count: ~1.6k

a/n: I wrote a fic like this years ago, but unfortunately I deleted that tumblr account back in 2019 and I literally cannot find any record of my post anymore. I couldn’t even find the original copy anywhere on my computer. hope y’all enjoy it! extra info found on the MCU fandom wiki.

Ryan: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’re covering the Battle of New York, an event that destroyed half of Manhattan in a single afternoon and opened the world’s eyes to the existence of extraterrestrial life. Bet you feel pretty fuckin’ stupid now, huh Shane?

Shane: Now, look here, I am pretty fuckin’ stupid, but I have never said that I don’t believe in aliens.

Ryan: You say it literally every time we do an episode on aliens.

Shane: No, I’ve said that I don’t believe aliens have ever interacted with humans before.

Ryan: All I’m hearing are excuses.

Shane: Who’s pretty fuckin’ stupid now?

Ryan: Still you.

Shane: Damn, when you’re right you’re right.

Ryan: Can I get into the case now?

Shane: Go ahead, open your file with a single piece of paper in it and tell us all about it.

Ryan: Let’s get into it.

On May 1st, 2012, in a secret, underground facility in the middle of the Mojave, experiments were being performed on an object called “the Tesseract.” The scientists performing the experiment were employed by the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, otherwise known as “S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Shane: Wait a second, say that name again?

Ryan: S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Shane: No no no, the acronym.

Ryan: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

Shane: (wheeze) That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.

Ryan: Yeah, it does seem like they’re trying too hard.

Shane: Someone really wanted their organization to spell out “SHIELD.” What a bunch of nerds.

Ryan: The Tesseract had been used during World War II by Nazi scientists Johann Schmidt and Arnim Zola to create energy weapons that were capable of completely pulverizing its targets. It was briefly lost when Captain Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, hijacked a German bomber called the Valkyrie that was on course to destroy multiple major cities across the United States. He was unable to change course, so instead he attempted to fly the Valkyrie into the ocean and ended up landing in an ice field in Greenland. The Tesseract was found by Howard Stark not long after, although Captain Rogers and the Valkyrie were not found until about 70 years later.

The Tesseract changed owners several times, but by 2012 it was in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s possession during Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., which was an acronym for “Potential Energy Group - Alternate Sources - United States.”

Shane: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.

Ryan: (wheeze)

Shane: Fuckin’ tryhards.

Ryan: On May 1, 2012, there was an incident involving the Tesseract. The facility was breached by Loki Laufeyson, an alien born on Uranus and raised on Saturn. Thanks to Natasha Romanoff leaking all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s data in 2014, all security footage from that night is available to the public. While they were experimenting on the Tesseract, it opened a portal through which Loki was able to come to Earth. He attacked and killed several agents using a staff that looked to be powered by something similar to the Tesseract. He used the same staff to subdue several agents and scientists through mind control. He even used it on Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye: an actual Avenger!

Shane: Now hold up, mind control? On an Avenger? No way.

Ryan: I’m just telling you the facts.

Shane: There is no way an Avenger just let him waltz up and take control of his mind!

Ryan: Well actually, Loki is so powerful that he shows up in Norse mythology as a god, so really an Avenger got mind controlled by a god.

Shane: But we know he’s not a god now, he’s just an alien.

Ryan: The footage doesn’t lie!

Shane: This is bullshit.

Ryan: One of the side effects of this kind of mind control is that it turns the victim’s eyes bright blue, and according to footage we have from this event and images of Loki later on, his eyes are significantly bluer during the battle and the events leading up to it, so-

Shane: Ohhhhh, so he could have been mind-controlled, too!

Ryan: Yeah, exactly.

Shane: That tickles me very much!

Ryan: Ew, I… I didn’t like that.

Shane: That is very tickling indeed!

Ryan: This is a weird turn of phrase, even for you.

Shane: I will say, it makes the whole “mind controlling an Avenger” thing way more believable.

Ryan: Loki successfully stole the Tesseract, and the entire facility collapsed on itself, apparently due to the sheer power of the portal they had opened. Footage shows Loki using his staff to shoot oncoming S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and completely pulverizing them. He even shot down a helicopter!

S.H.I.E.L.D. used this as an opportunity to reactivate the Avengers Initiative, a project focused on bringing together people of special abilities to protect the Earth. The Avengers at the time were made up of Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, Captain America, Bruce Banner, also known as the Hulk, Thor, another alien from Saturn who is seen in Norse mythology as the “god of thunder,” Agent Natasha Romanoff, also known as the Black Widow, and Hawkeye.

Shane: I thought Hawkeye got mind controlled?

Ryan: Well they got him back before the battle.

Shane: Do we know how?

Ryan: According to Agent Romanoff, she hit him really hard in the head and he was fine.

Shane: (wheeze) Is that really what she said?

Ryan: Yeah, they were fighting on one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicarriers and she slammed his head against a railing and then knocked him out for good measure.

Shane: What a badass!

Ryan: Oh yeah, the Black Widow is definitely one of the most underrated heroes in history.

Loki spent a brief time in captivity on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicarrier, but was rescued by some of his mind-controlled goons who launched a fairly severe attack on the aircraft. Thor and the Hulk fell off the carrier, and several S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were killed, including a high-ranking agent named Phil Coulson.

On May 4th, famous astrophysicist Erik Selvig (who was also under mind control) was caught building a portal using the Tesseract on top of Stark Tower in downtown Manhattan. After some failed negotiation between Tony Stark and Loki inside the tower, the portal was opened and an alien army known as the Chitauri was released on New York. The Chitauri are a sentient species of cybernetically enhanced beings that operate under a hive mind intelligence. They use another species called Leviathans for troop transport and combat, which are extremely augmented using armor, anti-gravity devices, and even laser cannons.

The battle itself lasted two to three hours. Most of Manhattan was destroyed, and the World Security Council actually authorized the release of a nuclear missile to try and end the battle. As the missile headed for New York, Tony Stark intercepted it and redirected it into the portal. The missile hit the Chitauri Command Center, destroying the hive mind and deactivating every single soldier left fighting. Stark’s suit lost power as he let the nuke go, and he fell back to Earth through the portal just as Agent Romanoff closed the portal using Loki’s staff. As he was falling, reports say that he was caught in mid-air by the Hulk and brought safely back to ground level.

Shane: How the hell is New York still standing after that?

Ryan: Well, S.H.I.E.L.D. had a subsidiary team called “Damage Control,” and after the battle it was transferred to the federal government and is now the U.S. Department of Damage Control.

Shane: What, they couldn’t come up with a fun acronym for that?

Ryan: I guess not, whoever was coming up with cool names was off that day.

Shane: Damn, right when they needed him the most.

Ryan: Honestly, that’s the real tragedy of this whole story.

Shane: So is that the whole case?

Ryan: That’s pretty much it.

Shane: I remember where I was when I saw this on TV, actually.

Ryan: Oh yeah?

Shane: Yeah, I was watching TV at home and flippin’ through the channels and when I flipped on the news I thought I was watching a shitty alien movie.

Ryan: (wheeze) You didn’t realize this was a real thing that happened?

Shane: No, not until I saw it on Twitter like an hour after it happened.

Ryan: Oh my God, dude! You really are fuckin’ stupid.

Shane: I never said I wasn’t.

Ryan: Even though we now know the facts of the Battle of New York, a lot of questions remain unanswered. If Loki was being controlled, who was controlling him? Where are he and Thor now? Does this open the door for future alien attacks, or alien alliances? What else is out there? As of this episode being filmed in April of 2015, we’re still waiting to see what the Avengers do next, but until then, all of these questions remain… UNSOLVED.

So who’s your favorite Avenger, Shane?

Shane: Hmm, that’s a toughie.

Ryan: Mine is Captain America, no contest.

Shane: Oh yeah?

Ryan: Hell yeah, dude. Killing Nazis and fighting aliens and surviving 70 years in ice? That’s badass.

Shane: So… no cap?

Ryan: *disappointed silence*

Shane: Get it, because-

Ryan: No I got the joke.

Shane: Well, you’re not laughing, so I thought-

Ryan: Well it wasn’t funny.

Shane: Goodness, Ryan, you don’t have to hurt my feelings like that.

Ryan: I love hurting your feelings, actually.

Shane: Hm. This is awkward, then.

-----

please lmk if I should write more of these, I had a lot of fun with this one and I haven’t written stuff like this in like 5 years so I feel a little rusty lol. hope you enjoyed and if anyone wants to give me suggestions on more stuff to write please do!

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ashe-fics · 2 years

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Since Ghost Files and Quantum Leap premiered in the exact same week, I feel compelled to share this very good BuzzFeed Unsolved/Quantum Leap crossover fanfiction I found a couple of months ago on AO3.

#ghost files #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #quantum leap #buzzfeed unsolved #fan fiction #ao3 #not by me #quantumleap #fanfiction

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jimmy-johns-was-taken · 1 year

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What I think of you based off your favorite creepypasta

Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion !

Jeff the Killer

Anger issues much? And is that hot topic merch? Definitely an emo, but your music taste is amazing! You don’t back down from anything and you defend your friends a lot. Your also very opinionated, nothing wrong with that I guess. You definitely had a major crush on him and read those fanfics about him coming to your room and taking you to live in the slender mansion. Are you ok, mentally? I believe you like spicy food (every JTF fan I’ve met likes spicy food, so it’s now a stereotype). Also, your loud.

BEN Drowned

Fun fact : you cant cut everyone off and then expect to be mentally ok. You play video games not only because you like them, but you use them as an escape from reality. You probably hate it here on earth most of the time, but believe that there’s some good and something worth staying here. You had a weird childhood (FNAF, creepypasta, etc.) and might have been bullied for it, but now your cool and still like all that stuff. Your music taste is also great, but stop running from your problems. Honestly, I feel like if your a BEN fan, then you’ve been a fan of him for a long time now.

Eyeless Jack

Similar to BEN, you can’t just cut everyone off. Also books are not a substitute for people, go outside. Your definitely some kind of “special” student (like you know those gifted classes? At my school we called them special classes but they were the gifted classes it think. Anyways you were in those) and your burnt out. You probably want to go into medicine, or something really complex like that. Also, you thirst over this man so much, it’s a little concerning. Take a break from everything, just chill. Your music taste is ok, but you’ve got great taste in men. You might be a mom or therapist friend.

Ticci Toby

ADHD? Autism? Your somewhere on scale. How are those sensory issues? You seem like the kind of person who was “special” or “gifted” and you sat alone at recess picking at grass. Your competitive and enjoy the party when it’s people you know, but if it’s people you don’t know your not cool at all. Your awkward, but it’s ok! You probably had some kind of emo phase and at one point you kin him (that’s saying you don’t right now). Your music taste is cool. Also stop feeding the raccoons on your back porch and trying to justify it, I know your trying to build an army and it won’t work.

Tim / Masky

Two words : Daddy Issues. Like bro, take a chill pill. Your anger is violent, you probably have a hole in your wall where you punched it, but your working on it. You possibly smoke, or think smoking is hot. Your definitely a Marble Hornets (SlenderVerse in general) fan and have been for awhile. Your also really into the trope where the proxies have the personalities of the Heathers and your Veronica. You also really like true crime, like to a scary amount. Your music taste is cool, could be better I guess. Also, stop trying to hide from your problems, it’s better to face them.

Brian / Hoodie :

Your quite, but really cool. Similar to Tim, a big Marble Hornets / SlenderVerse fan. You like photography and urban exploring, as well as ghosting hunting. I feel like you had a Sam and Colby and/or Buzzfeed Unsolved phase at some point. Another true crime fan, but you enjoy fictional stuff like slashers more than real stuff. Speaking of, stop trying to hide from reality. It’s better to face it, but your smart and I’m sure you can figure it out. You find yourself in holes a lot, but you manage to get yourself out of them. Great music taste, your the dad friend, and overall super cool.

Jane the Killer

Your either thirst over her or kin her or both. You have great taste in just about everything, music, fashion, anything. Your probably some kind of goth, but if not goth then metal head. You had an Evanescence phase and don’t even try to tell me you didn’t because I know you did. A lot of people fall for you, and you have so many people on a leash, but you sometimes find yourself using them for your gain. I think this is something you don’t mean to do, and when you do it you feel terrible. Your an over-thinker, but don’t worry, your cool and look great.

Nina the Killer

Was invader zim your favorite childhood show? Or was it the grim adventures of Billy and Mandy? Either way your emo and scene, and your very proud to be one! Your proud to be who you are, and that’s amazing! Sometimes you get insecure, but I promise you looked great. Honestly, you strike me as the kind of person who either looks emo and listens to emo music, or the kind of person to look cute and soft but like to like grindcore and black metal. You hide from your own problems but jump head first into small issues. Take some time to yourself and just settle down. Don’t let anyone fuck with you or your style either, I love you and nobody should diss on the scene Queen.

Horray! Post! Sorry it’s longer than my normal content, I felt like writing more. Can you tell who my favorites are?

Request are currently Open !!!

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby #ben drowned #eyeless jack #jane the killer #jeff the killer #nina the killer #ben drowned headcanons #eyeless jack headcanon #nina the killer headcanons #what I think to you #just my opinion #some of these are very on point #headcanon

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samerith-gets-scared · 3 months

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🎵🎵. . .Socials + Self Info. . .🎧

Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/samerithspotify ⸸ ㋡ s a m a f i a ㋡ ⸸ Spotify Stats/Stats fm.:

They/Them|18|NB ★

✩ ✩ ᶦᶠ ʷᵉ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐᵘᵗᵘᵃˡ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵉˢᵗˢ/ʰᵒᵇᵇᶦᵉˢ/ᵉᵗᶜ ˡᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵇᵉ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ^^ (16/17-20 only)

. . .

Nick Matthews Vic Fuentes Tyler Joseph Josh Dun Juno Gold

Stan Lee <3

woooow you made it to the end :0

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hardware-sparks · 1 year

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Admittedly I'm not to well-versed in what the general population's view on paranormal activity is, but I wonder if there were a handful of in-world PIE fans who thought their work was fiction. Like a sort of Ghost Files/Buzzfeed Unsolved show. Numerous calls to cases that have very little to do with the paranormal just to see these celebrities use your house as a set. Surely it was all staged for the show? Being a little confused when they get frustrated but it's whatever the short one was always considered the eccentric

#sodalite speaks #like. idk. there's cosplayers and fan(girl)s running about. like surely there's people who thought it was fictional #idk just comparing it to adam marble/hornets. that series is canonically on youtube and can be viewed by any of the characters and adam jus #absolutely ADMIRES the work because he believes it isn't real

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cellard0ors · 1 year

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Tagged by @be-side-my-self

Most Hits: (230, 959) Once More, With Feeling - fake dating with Sherlock and John. Ah, Johnlock. Not at all surprised. That and this story was actually featured in an article on Screenrant for 10 Amazing Work of Fan Fiction, which was a major shock.

Second Most Kudos: (3,594) Believer - This is my sacrifice to the BuzzFeed Unsolved fandom. Demon!Shane and Ryan friends-turned-lovers romance. I miss the old days with these boys. Not a fan of the Watcher content. Sorry, not sorry.

Third Most Comment Threads (575) Skeptic - The sequel to Believer. Demon!Shane out of control and Ryan trying to reign him in. This story still doesn't have the proper ending it deserves, but I lost my muses thread for it and some bullying from various nasty anons made me lose my appetite for it. Someday maybe I'll finish it up proper.

Fourth Most Bookmarks (358) This Divide Between You and I - Gravity Falls Stancest! I wrote this almost the moment Ford appeared. Then the show kept going and it became very non canon (not that their twincest isn't, but I digress) but it's still one of my most favorite works.

Fifth Most Words (94,124) The Cards We Are Dealt - I'm so happy at least one of my Quarry fics got a highlight! I will always remember the thrill of writing this! I was getting out almost a chapter a day! Sometimes I wish I took my time and added more to it (probably why I have so many add-ons) but overall it's one of my favorite fics.

Six Fic With The Least Words (758) Light of the Moon - This was also Gravity Falls Stancest but a coffee shop AU where it eventually became a throuple with Preston Northwest and this is from his POV. I had a lot of fun writing him. Still surprised this is my shortest fic. Honestly thought it would be my Pocahontas fic! 😆

#my writing #fan fiction

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jacklesbrainworms · 2 years

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welcome to my blog!

current theme song

about me

- side blog - @mind-empty-just-fictional-people (my writings)

- my pronouns are she/her

- i'm a part of the lgbtq+ community

- i'm twenty

movies/shows i like (in alphabetical order)

- back to the future

- bobs burgers

- brooklyn nine-nine

- buzzfeed unsolved (ryan bergara + shane madej)

- community

- criminal minds

- friends

- it ( + anything stephen king)

- marvel

- new girl

- the office

- parks and recreation

- stranger things

- supernatural

artists/bands i like (in alphabetical order, ⭐️ means i’m a diehard fan)

- ac/dc ⭐️

- anson seabra

- ariana grande ⭐️

- blackbear

- bob seger

- bruce springsteen

- charlie puth

- def leppard

- dove cameron

- dua lipa ⭐️

- emeline

- emlyn

- eva-lina

- fall out boy ⭐️

- fletcher ⭐️

- gayle

- harry styles ⭐️

- imagine dragons

- madison beer ⭐️

- maisie peters

- mckenna grace ⭐️

- nate feuerstein (nf)

- nessa barrett

- niall horan ⭐️

- nirvana

- one direction ⭐️

- panic! at the disco

- taylor swift

- twenty one pilots ⭐️

- zevia

- zolita ⭐️

#ignore these tags #jean is deancoded #jean.txt #jean’s spn thoughts #jean’s gk thoughts #look what queue made me do #wish queue were here

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jacksjargon · 2 years

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A Pain That All Fandoms Feel:

Story time!

I'm a directioner who is in many fandoms with fictional characters. Typically the fandoms that I'm apart of are fictional. Being a directioner is my first real-life fan thing. You get the idea.

Anyway, I was in class one day, and I make a joke that I know all directioners would respond to: Man, those fookin avocados. 1D fans, it's a common one, right? But not so commonly known that other, non-directioners would understand. But this girl in my class (let's call her Alice) perked right up and stared at me, openmouthed.

I, of course, was wildly excited, not having met another directioner (or at least one that reacted to my references). So we stare at one another for awhile, not talking--because we're in class-- but every once in a while, when there's a lull in the learning process, lean over and ask her if she really understands the reference. Alice nods everytime.

When we get a break in class (near the end of it, of course, I waited for over an hour), I, just to be sure, ask her what she thinks it meant. She shakes her head the first time, unwilling to tell me, but I am a stubborn bull-headed bitch, so I ask once more and then propose a deal. Alice tells me if I tell her. She says yes, and opens her mouth and I'm excited;

She replies "Buzzfeed (can't remember if it was unsolved or not)". And I die a little on the inside. But as per our agreement, I tell her, but she already knew from the look on my face. We smiled about it one last time and went our separate ways. We haven't talked about it since.

But, now she's piqued my curiosity. So, Buzzfeed fans, can you tell me what the joke is? Maybe we can have an exchange of knowledge?

PS.

Alice, if you're on this hell-site (and, God, for your sanity I hope not), maybe we can talk about it again sometime. See how many other references our fandoms share!

#one direction #buzzfeed #avocados #humor #reference #Alice babe I love you #louis tomlinson #tumblr stories #story time

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and-yet-the-daisies-grow · 4 months

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I realized how deep down the consuming content rabbithole I've gotten. Again. I just turned on my Cold Turkey website and app blocks on my computer :) hooray! Next up: my tablet.

The issue is, that I'm uhm. Unwilling to do this. But I also need to. Firstly, I have to make sure I can't get into Stardew Valley. I have to set this up later. Also, Tumblr on my ipad.

But also, more upsettingly, I have to remove a lot of the downloaded content I listen to or read when I'm bored.

"But I don't want to!! What if I get bored!! What if I really miss that fandom space :((" this is what the fan in me is saying right now. But I don't want to be a fan anymore! I want to be a creator, and I can't focus on my art if I'm hyperfocused on being a fan.

Also, I want to force myself to interact with my community more. If I'm bored, well, then I can't just read a comfort thing or listen to something. I have to go outside or play with my cat, meet up with friends, feel the void encroaching closer and closer due to my choices. I don't want to be so numb and dissociated anymore.

When I want to read, I want to force myself to go outside, to a library. Ugh. I hate that I'm doing this.

...

I did it. I deleted the downloaded Contrapoints audios, the Buzzfeed Unsolved, my fave dubs of fancomics. Well, I kind of did it. I'm still trying to bargain with myself about fiction books. But no. They have to go.

I'm sorry Warrior cats :(

...

Ugh. Why does change have to be so uncomfortable?? A part of me wants to go full radical now 0-0 But I'll hold my horses. It's useful to annotate on an Ipad.

Next up, I have to remove access to websites that allow me to download new things from youtube on my ipad. I have to wait though, because to do these changes, I have to ask the person who has my password to modify ipad rules to do it :( (otherwise i would break them as soon as i got bored, lol - i have terrible resolve, especially at the start).

Until then, I'll just uninstall Stardew valley and Tumblr from my ipad.

...

I did it. All of my Stardew progress :(( but maybe i'll go outside now, lol. I'll go through my notes app now, delete any entertainment junk left.

...

I did as much as I could. I can't handle deleting 2 fiction books, though. I annotated them! And I'm in no hurry to reread so soon.

Now, I gotta get off the web. It sucks to be a person!!!!! Why can't I just be an entertainment-addicted money-machine forever :(((((((

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thescarletlounge · 1 year

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Intro Post

Welcome to the Scarlet Lounge! DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOG IS 100% FICTIONAL. This is my little corner of fandom-based depravity on the Internet. I'm just your average overly enthusiastic fan and shipper who may or may not have a separate gen. blog. ;) This blog will feature character and shipping deep dive discourse, as well as fic as I learn more about creative writing, and vids as I attempt to learn DaVinci Resolve. Mainly Buzzfeed: Unsolved, Buzzfeed: Worth It, and Watcher Entertainment, but may also feature Rhett & Link, The Try Guys, Trey Parker/Matt Stone, and whatever and whomever else strikes my fancy. Formerly at madamecrimsonslair.tumblr.com. madamecrimson on AO3.

#mine

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starryevermore · 3 years

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the mysterious disappearance of peter quill ✧ buzzfeed unsolved & peter quill

angst city™ library | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

inspired by: this post

summary: in a shocking turn of events, an episode of buzzfeed unsolved becomes solved.

word count: 1,331

warnings?: okay i don’t know how accurately i was able to portray ryan and shane but let’s pretend i did well,

Twitter was always a mixed bag. Especially when you were a person in the public eye, it could be particularly difficult trying to navigate social media. When it’s your job, you have to. You have to interact with people who have opinions on you, no matter how good or how bad. And, sure, while you usually weren’t directly interacting by replying or retweeting or liking or whatever with people who are intensely negative towards you, you still have to see them in the search of the good.

Ryan was usually the one to go through Twitter, especially since he was the one seeking out comments to include in videos that he was in charge of. It could be fun, sometimes, seeing people’s different theories about the cases they’ve covered, seeing the cool edits and amazing fan art, and the like. Today, though, was a lot more interesting than normal.

In looking through the tags for himself and Shane, he found a thread that sparked his interest. In the last season of Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime years ago, they had covered the mysterious disappearance of eight year old Peter Quill from St. Charles, Missouri. Quill was the child of a single mother, raised by her and her father. Unfortunately, Quill’s mother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. She didn’t live long after her diagnosis. In the immediate aftermath of his mother’s death, Quill was reported to have ran out of the hospital, crying, and was never seen again. Search efforts for the boy quickly ran cold. It was almost as if someone had dropped down from the sky, picked up the boy, and flew far, far away from his home.

Shane, naturally, had mocked Ryan when he regaled the theory that Quill had been abducted by aliens. Admittedly, Ryan knew that it was a ridiculous claim. Even in a world where there were genetically enhanced super soldiers, scientists who transformed into giant green rage machines, and people from literal legend, it did seem a bit off the wall to divert to the classic “UFO picks up person in the middle of a field” scenario. But, the beauty of Buzzfeed Unsolved was throwing in the outlandish theories in the mix of the more realistic scenarios to lighten the mood.

The episode had ended as it always does, with Ryan declaring that the mysterious disappearance of Peter Quill would forever remain unsolved. After going through the Post Mortem episode discussing the viewer’s comments on the episode, Ryan admittedly hadn’t given the case much thought. Sure, it was an interesting case and was one of much intrigue, but it wasn’t something that kept him awake at night, frothing at the mouth for any kind of answers.

And yet, the answers came.

Maybe.

He wasn’t sure yet.

A Twitter user had complied a thread discussing the case of Peter Quill. The user had gone through much of the same background as Ryan had done when filming the episode, but they made an interesting divergence from the typical “this case will remain unsolved” conclusion. No, instead, they had found footage of a group of heroes battling against the formidable Thanos as they tried to reverse the Blip that had happened in the five years previous.

They had compared a screenshot from the footage of one of the heroes to that of young Peter Quill. Included in those pictures was another picture from some sort of aging up software, showing that the hero from the battle could potentially be an adult Peter Quill. And, while that was compelling on its own, the user didn’t leave it there. They included a clip from the footage where someone called the man “Quill”, and the man responded.

Holy shit. Was this the answer? Had Peter Quill been alive this whole time? Had there been some sort of validity to the “been abducted by aliens” theory? Does…does he call the Avengers for comment? Can you call the Avengers? Were the Avengers even still technically an organization when half of the members are dead and one’s off-world? What the hell was he supposed to do?

With shaking hands, he pulled up his email and began to type:

To whom it may concern:

Hello, my name is Ryan Bergara. I previously worked for Buzzfeed on the series Buzzfeed Unsolved with my co-host, Shane Madej. Two years ago, we had done an episode regarding the disappearance of Peter Quill. It has since come to my attention that one of the heroes that had fought against Thanos may be the very same man.

I was wondering if you had any comment on this?

Sincerely,

Ryan Bergara

Still trembling, he clicked “send”. And now…he waits.

Ryan had gotten a response faster than he was expecting and he couldn’t be more excited about what he was told. He had to work fast now to make sure they could get some content out of this. He called a meeting with Shane and the two of them sat in one of the filming rooms, Ryan waiting for just the right moment. He had wanted this to be a surprise since it was rare that he was ever truly able to catch Shane off guard.

When the camera began rolling, Ryan cleared his throat before looking at Shane. “So, I suppose you’re wondering why you’re here today.”

Shane laughed into his cup of coffee. “More concerned that you’ve finally lost it.”

“What, was my email not normal?”

“I’m not entirely convinced you were speaking any language,” Shane said. “All I got out of it was that I needed to be here or you would track me down. Probably could’ve made it far, actually, but I wasn’t in the mood to run today.”

“Good, ‘cause I wasn’t in the mood to chase you.” He shuffled through the notecards he had. They were mostly for show, to make it seem like he was more prepared than he was. “Do you remember that episode of Unsolved we did about the disappearance of Peter Quill?”

Shane stared at him for a moment, before saying, “Wasn’t that the kid you said was abducted by aliens?”

“I didn’t say that, I said that’s what other people were saying,” Ryan defended. “Yes, that’s the case. Do you remember how the case ended?”

Shane threw his head back laughing. “That’s a terrible question! It was unsolved or else we wouldn’t have done an episode over it!”

“Well, what if I told you that we might have a solved case on our hands?”

“Oh, what, was he actually abducted by aliens?”

“Yeah, actually. This ship came down and picked me up, and now I’m called Star-Lord and—”

Shane whipped around, staring at the now-adult Peter Quill standing in the doorway. “What the fu—”

“—Peter Quill is our new history master!” the Professor announced. “Come fetch your coveted cup you have so rightly earned!”

“Cool!” Quill said, getting up from his seat and taking the small trophy. “Oh, it has jelly beans!”

“Don’t ask where those come from,” Ryan advised, laughing to himself.

After they had announced to their viewers that Peter Quill had, in fact, been abducted by aliens, Ryan and Shane invited him to be on an episode of Puppet History. They were recording one that same day, and needed a guest star after the previous one had to drop out last minute. Some of the Guardians were still having their injuries from the battle treated, so Quill agreed to film.

“Ryan, how does it feel to lose to someone who hasn’t been on Earth in over two decades?”

“Doesn’t feel great, Professor,” Ryan said with a shake of his head. “I really thought I had an advantage, but there is no advantage when the game’s rigged, is there?”

“You just think it’s rigged ‘cause you lost!” Quill said.

“Yeah, no one likes a sore loser—HEY GIVE HIM BACK!”

Quill jumped up, dropping his trophy. “Rocket, give the man his puppet back!”

#buzzfeed unsolved fanfiction #buzzfeed unsolved fan fiction #buzzfeed unsolved fanfic #buzzfeed unsolved fan fic #buzzfeed unsolved fic #peter quill imagine #peter quill fanfiction #peter quill fan fiction #peter quill fan fic #peter quill fanfic #peter quill fic #starrywrites #starryevermore

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worthlessjunk · 4 years

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Ryan, Shane, and Reader

The newest episode is just you, Shane, and Ryan, spending all night at a haunted castle.

THIS IS !!NOT!! A SHYAN FIC, I WANTED A FIC WITH EVERYONE BEING GOOD OLD BUDDY PALS

This fic has multiple chapters, please be patient with me on uploading!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual assault, Blood, Swearing, Panic Attacks

“Who’s fucking idea was this?” Shane laughs as he puts his hand in his flannel pockets.

“Mine.” You stick your tongue out at him. “Do you really think Ryan would have willingly gone to a haunted castle overnight?”

“I take offense to that.” Ryan is walking ahead of you, eyes forward.

“Aww, are you pissed that you have to sleep with the Ghosties?” Shane walks up to Ryan. You smile at them being idiots as Ryan threatens Shane.

“Hey, can we maybe be...adults?” You call up to them. “We kinda have a show to get done.”

You loved those too more than anything. You had so many memories with them and were excited to make more.

Ryan was especially excited. He did most of the research every time, but this was your time to shine. You had set everything up, the dates, the research, the money. Everything.

You had always felt more like a third wheel, even though you knew the guys loved and appreciated you. But still, you couldn’t help feeling like a weight. So this time, you would prove to everyone that you could help.

“Is this it?” Ryan stops in his tracks, causing you to almost bump into him.

You look up, the dark castle is right ahead. It looks like it did in the pictures; scary. Something about it in person is almost worse.

“Yep!” You pull out your camera, angling it at the castle. “Let’s get filming!”

Shane looks at you, laughing.

“How the hell are you gonna get a shot? Can you even see anything above some blades of grass?”

You roll your eyes. “Eat shit tall ass.”

Ryan wheezes.

“Are you guys ready for the scariest night of our lives?”

Ryan shakes his head. “Oh fuck no.”

***

Walking into the castle the cold air hits you like a slap.

“Well Jesus, this is like a shitty horror film.”

Shane is laughing at the old paintings on the wall.

“It’s a tourist place, so it’s probably played up a little.” You say. “But that doesn’t mean the legends aren’t true!”

Ryan looks at you both. “I cannot believe I am sleeping here tonight.”

“Ryan, the scariest thing in this place is the amount of dust collecting.”

You burst out laughing at Shane.

This was going to be fun.

You started talking about the history of the place, how a grand king lived in wealth and women, having many mistresses. The king murdered his queen so he could marry one of his mistresses. The Princess, daughter of the queen, became blind with rage and grief, killing the King and his Mistress with poison. All of their ghosts are rumored to walk the halls at night. The Queen calling out in pain, the Princess searching for her mother, and the King seeking vengeance.

“Why the hell does the king get vengeance?” Shane looks at you.

“It sounds like he was the real asshole here!” Ryan adds.

You start giggling. “Like a fairytale villain.” You all laugh, and you feel all worries fade away.

A candle falls to the ground in a loud crash, the tin holder making a ringing noise.

“Huh. Guess someone didn’t like that.” Shane chuckled as Ryan’s eyes grew wide.

You grab Ryan’s arm and squeeze. “It’s probably just a prop for the show they do. Gotta keep tourists interested.”

Ryan relaxes a little, but you can tell he’s more on edge.

“Ryan, it’s not even dark! How can you be scared?” Shane walks toward the dining hall. “Where can we get some food? I’m starving!”

You turn toward Ryan.

“You okay?”

He shakes his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

***

You sit at the grand table eating McDonald’s, working on editing the beginning shots of the episode, Ryan is writing something, and Shane...is being Shane.

“How many ghouls do you think we’ll find today?”

“Well,” You look up “There are a lot of active areas, but no one has ever actually stayed the night, so…”

Ryan looks up from his work. “No one has ever stayed here?”

“Nope.”

Ryan’s eyes widen. “And you forgot to mention this?”

You look at him quizzically. “I didn’t think it was important?”

Ryan shakes his head. “Whatever, let’s get this over with.”

You share a look with Shane, confused. You feel your worries creep into your stomach, holding you hostage. You wanted this to be perfect.

Shane looks at you and gives a small smile. You let out a breath, Ryan was just scared, You were overreacting.

“Okay, Lets start searching for Ghosts.”

chapter two:

#buzzfeed true crime #buzzfeed supernatural #buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed unsolved fanfic #buzzfeed unsolved fan fiction #buzzfeed unsolved Ryan #buzzfeed ryan #buzzfeed unsolved Shane #buzzfeed Shane #shane madej #shane is a demon #shane and ryan #ryan bergara #self insert #demon shane #boogara #shaniac #ryan boogara

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shitfish-booniac · 5 years

Text

Shane, The Demonic Dryad: Chapter 2: Origin story part 1

My name is Gift From God, and I am the living treaty. You all know me as Shane Madej. Everything you know about me, all of the story’s you have heard on that fun channel of I work on, about my life and where i grew up, is all true. I just left out all the important stuff, the things that are beyond your understanding. Honestly, I thought i would never tell you all these things. But according to the laws of the trail, my must speak honestly and freely about my life, otherwise… your boi might not be able to make his appearance in season 6.

So, for the first time ever, you people will know the truth. Why I say I don’t believe in ghosts, why Ryan never finds any proof, and what really happened with my parrot, which I DID NOT eat by the way. Anyways, here we go

About 35 years ago, 1983 in the human calendar, something happened that sent the three worlds of the Fae, Demons and mortals into a turmoil. A moment that sent a chain events into motion, changing the way these worlds interact, something that has not changed in many millennia. The two people who began this event, were my parents. Mainly my mother, Iola grimfall, the demon warrior of the high guard. She was a demon of average human height, with black flowing hair and light brown eyes. She had horns like a faun of a dark brown color, and she had a well defined figure of an olympic level athlete. She was a fierce fighter and would hold her ground with most demons, using her prefered and only weapons, two small hand battle axes that she would use in a fiery fury upon her foes, enjoying the fight for what it was worth, but unlike the other demons, she was not happy with the life she had. While over demons were content with their life down below in what you humans call hell, my mother was… unhappy with the life she had been forced to live

While other demons thought of war and torment, looking at the human and Fae worlds with disgust and loathing, hating them for what they had, plotting to destroy all these worlds held dear, my mother was was on a different chain of thought.

Anytime she thought of the other worlds, mainly the one of Mortals, she felt only sorrow and longing, wishing to be apart of the human world, a place of change and growth, where things always seemed to be happening, unlike the world of demons, that seemed to be trapped in a infinite state of rotting and decay, the human world seemed to develop and evolve, a world where anyone would make a change if they tried hard enough. Iola saw the world of mortals wasn’t perfect, full of evils and suffering not unlike the ones of her world, but unlike her world, it was full of beauty and potential. She was bored of the literal hellhole she was trapped in, she wanted to go to the mortal world, where anything would happen. A world of excitement.

And my mother, Iola Grimfall, wanted to be apart of it.

She had began to study the old books, searching for a way to the mortal world, and according to every source she would find, she had to enter the Fae world first.

“According the current treaty, a demon requires the permission of a Fae of the low council to enter the mortal world without starting war,” a elder demon had told her, “and likewise a Fae requires the permission of a demon of the low council to enter the human world. This law was made so that both councils will always know how many citizens of both worlds are in the mortal realm at all times.”

“When was the last time a demon was let into the mortal world?” Iola would ask in a low tone, her hand on the handle of one of her axes, showing she meant business and wanted the truth.

The old demon smiled and looked into the eyes of Iola “well, last time i checked, no new demons or fae have safely entered the mortal world since 200 BC, but you are welcome to try… that is if you don't mind dying afterwards! HAHAHA!” the old demon laughed till the ground shook, and in rage Iola, in one swift motion, drew her axe with a hand of pure flame, and beheaded the fool with one quick swoop.

(And by hand of flame, i mean her whole arm became aflame in demon fire. I did say she fought with a fiery rage didn’t I?)

Iola stared at the corpse of the fallen demon, who was quickly turning to ash, and as despair began to overtake her, a voice suddenly spoke behind her.

“If you want to enter the mortal world, there is one Council member if the Fae who might grant you permission” Iola turned around quickly, axe put against the speakers throat, finding a old hag short hag of dark skin and white thin hair who looked into her eyes with no fear. “Now darling, that is no way yo treat your elders.” the old demoness let out a raspy chuckle. “Don’t you want to leave this world and enter the world of the humans?”

The hag wore a faded gray cloak and was a head shorter then Iola, but she seemed to radiate this strange aura… Iola couldn't put her finger on it, but the hag was definitely more than what she seemed to be.

Iola lowered her axe, looking at the elder demon, sudden hope filling her black heart, “yes,” Iola said in a whisper, “more than anything thats what i want.”

The Hag looked at Iola with a strange gleam in her eyes. “Then go to the Fae world and seek out the dryad by the name of Brier, he shares your love of the human world and might just sympathize you and give you the permission you seek”

“Might?” Iola asked tentatively.

“There is a chance he will say no.” the hag chuckled again in that raspy voice, a strange gleam in her eyes “but there is a chance he might say yes, and no matter how small that chance is, is the only one you have.” the hag began to walk off.

“Wait, who are you?” Iola called out, “why are you trying to help me?”

The Hag turned around and looked at Iola with that strange stare of hers. “My name,” the hag said in a steady voice, “is Lumen, and I am helping you because… well, no else seems to be helping you are they” Lumen let out a loud cackle and suddenly disappeared, leaving in a flash of white light.

Iola stared at the place the hag Lumen had once stood. She didn’t know what was happening, but she knew one thing.

She finally had a way to get to the human world, and as she began the journey to the gate that connected the demons realm to the one of the Fae in search of the Dryad Brier, she didn’t notice as a small imp took flight, an imp who had saw the whole scene, and the imp was grinning from ear to ear, traveling to the throne of his master.

“Wait till the boss hears this” the imp let out a insane giggle, “finally something interesting is happening around here!”

(before we continue the story further, i have one thing to say. I, Shane Madej, hate Imps.)

#buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed unsolved fan fiction #demonshane #origin story #bfu #bfu supernatural

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