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Castletown Cafe Episode 29: Orange Butler Juice RE-MAKE!
Remaking Episode 19 for Halloween, we have a new Butler Juice recipe with apple cider made from scratch with fresh apples! It does take a little more work (and thorough straining) and more time, but your home will smell festive and just like fall as your cider brews. It's the perfect warm autumn drink on a cold and rainy day. Or, if you live in a warmer climate, you can enjoy it chilled and served over ice, or even make a slushie with it!
I used only honeycrisp apples for my cider, but you can mix and match. You can use as many different kinds of apple as you want. I think 5 honeycrisp and 5 granny smiths would be delicious, too. Or a mix of three different types, or even 5 different types! I should experiment with a blend of various apples, myself.
Recipe under the cut!
BUTLER JUICE (ORANGE):
10-12 large honeycrisp apples (or 10-12 large apples of different varieties, if you'd like)
1 large orange
5 sticks cinnamon
6-8 allspice berries
7 whole cloves
2 star anise pods
3/4 tsp nutmeg
12 cups water
About 1/4 cup of brown sugar, to taste.
Wash, dry, and chop up the apples into chunks, removing cores. Slice up an orange in rounds, no need to peel that. Place your apples, sliced orange, and whole spices in a large stock pot and fill it with 12 cups of water.
Heat your mixture on medium-high heat until boiling, 30 to 45 minutes or longer. Let it boil for about 5 minutes, then reduce heat to medium-low and let it simmer for another 15. After that, reduce the heat again to low and cover for about an hour and a half to two hours. The water should reduce by an inch.
Once your cider is ready, give it a good stir, then ladle it into a huge strainer over a large bowl. Mash down that fruit with a potato masher and strain as much of the cider as you can, before returning it back into the pot for another round of mashing and straining. You may have to do this one half at a time, because it may not all fit, plus, all that cider will be really heavy. It may also take at least three rounds, or more, of straining if you want your cider as pulp-free as possible (I know I do).
Now, you should have about 14 to 16 cups of strained cider! But wait, you're not finished yet! You still haven't stirred in the sugar! All you need is just 1/4 cup, but you can add more if you want it sweeter, or less if you want it less sweet. The brown sugar completes the flavor of the cider and makes it fully balanced.
You've got plenty of cider to enjoy for a week or more! It freezes really well, too, so you can always save some for later.
I even used this cider in my batch of Spider Donuts this year, both in the batter as well as the glaze. It worked well! Just be sure to reduce the amount of liquid in the cider, of course, if you're gonna use some in your apple cider donuts.
Happy Halloween!
#deltarune#castletown cafe#swatchling#halloween#butler juice#butler juice recipe#deltarune fanart#halloween cooking#castletown cafe remake#castletown cafe episode remake#halloween episode#apple cider#orange butler juice#apple cider recipe#deltarune swatchlings#deltarune swatchling#orange swatchling#deltarune chapter 2#my art#cw food
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Deltarune Teaparty: Butler Juice
A varied, colorful palette for the most discerning of palates!
Recipe by scammy-and-spammy
Ingredients:
A high-density beverage (examples: fruit punch, apple cider, grenadine)
A low-density beverage (examples: sugar-free Sprite/7Up, white or rosé wine)
Ice
Food coloring (if your beverages are not already colorful)
Straw (if desired)
Directions:
ButJuice is just as much a science experiment as it is a recipe! The key is the densities of the various beverages. If you pour a very dense beverage into a glass and then pour a less-dense beverage on top, it’s possible to layer the drinks without them immediately mixing. This can give a very beautiful effect.
Generally, the amount of sugar is what determines how dense a beverage is. If you have a super sugary drink like fruit punch or a sugary bar syrup like grenadine, that is far denser then something like a sugar-free soda or a light wine.
1.) Coldify your glass by filling it with lots of ice cubes. This with help slow down the mixing of layers.
2.) Next, pour your bottom layer and fill about half the glass.
3.) Pour your other beverage into a seperate cup at first. Add the food coloring if needed at this time and blend.
4.) Next, take a large spoon and place it gently into your glass so it covers your bottom layer. Then, very gently and slowly pour the second beverage into your main glass, over the bottom of the spoon. The spoon will help your top layer pour as gently as possible into the glass and minimize mixing.
And that’s it! If done well, the layers will remain seperate for quite some time, in fact. (As I’m typing these directions up, the drink I made is STILL very seperated, and it’s been over an hour by now) You can drink your beverage with a straw if you’d like to enjoy the bottom layer first.
This layering effect is popular to use in some cocktails, such as the Rainbow Paradise cocktail or the Tequila Sunrise, but it can be used just as easily for non-alcoholic drinks, too!
Bonus - Butler Tea
If you prefer to Warmify your beverage, you can attempt a colorful drink as well for some cozy Butler Tea! Keep in mind the colorful effect will not be as strong as the cold drinks, and will vanish much more quickly, though.
Simply prepare a hot tea of your choice (Earl Gray is a good option). Add milk or creamer in order to lighten up the color of your beverage. Add any desired extras, such as sweetners or garnish; boba pearls might be nice! Then, simply add a few drops of food coloring into your drink and swirl the beverage very lightly.
Enjoy!
#deltarune#delta rune#teaparty#deltarune teaparty#recipe#recipes#swatchlings#swatch#butler juice#butjuice#submissions
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Mr. Butler’s Phryne
“Mr. Butler refilled his [Dr. John Wilson’s] glass. This friend of Miss Fisher’s was a war hero. He should have the best that the Fisher ménage had to offer. Who knew how many young men lived because of Dr. John Wilson? And nearly at the cost of himself. It was like Miss Fisher to think of a solution to a sniper in time to save a friend’s life. Bold but not really reckless.. Those ambulances had armoured sides.
Mr. Butler decided he should create another cocktail for her on the morrow. He would call it ‘Phryne’. Sour, certainly, with a lime juice base, perhaps, and... Cointreau? Cherry brandy? Noyau? This would require study.”
Like Mr. Butler, I like mixing and creating cocktails. And like Miss Fisher, I like sipping them, whilst lounging luxuriously. And Ava and I both adore the Melbournite sleuth dearly. In fact, on the very day we met --dear me, was it almost ten years ago?-- on a hot June day, she was watching an episode of the series, with the delightful Essie Davis playing the detective! Thus, it seemed only appropriate we began our (second) six months’ anniversary feast (delayed by a fortnight; but she wasn’t here a fortnight ago) last night with a couple of Mr. Butler’s Phryne!
Ingredients (serves 1):
8 ice cubes
2 small, ripe limes
1 tablespoon Manuka Honey Syrup
2 teaspoons Cointreau
60 millilitres/2 fluid ounces (4 tablespoons) London Dry Gin
a dash Angostura bitters
Place ice cubes in a shaker.
Thoroughly squeeze the juice of both limes, and pour over the ice. Add Cointreau, Manuka Honey Syrup and Gin. Close shaker tightly, and shake energetically until well-chilled.
Strain into a coupe glass and add a dash of Angostura bitters.
Repeat, serve your beloved, and toast to happiness with this beautifully sour Mr. Butler’s Phryne! Happy Friday!
#Recipe#Drink#Drink recipe#Mr. Butler’s Phryne#Mr. Butler’s Phryne Cocktail#Phryne#Phryne Cocktail#Gin Cocktail#Gin Cocktail recipe#Gin#London Dry Gin#Lime#Lime Juice#Fresh Lime Juice#Honey Syrup#Manuka Honey Syrup#Cointreau#Orange Liqueur#Angostura Bitters#Ice#Ice Cubes#Cocktail#Cocktail recipe#Drink and Literature#Phryne Fisher Cookbook#Phryne Fisher#Mr. Butler#Murder and Mendelssohn#Celebratory Drink#Date Night
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re: the jaime/jason thing
Paco would love Jason so much either that or he'd absolutely hate him and be suspicious from the beginning. either one. Brenda, i think, would like Jason well enough, but I think she'd get along better with Jason's siblings than Jason himself (im thinking Duke, Tim, or Cass). Traci, Jaime's ex, would want Jaime to be happy, even if thats not with her.
Bianca Reyes would adore Jason, and would try at every opportunity to feed him "proper" food. No shade to Alfred, but he's a rich person butler, not quite in tune with the normal folks. When Jason visits, he'll try to help out in the kitchen, and learn her recipes with her, but she'll try (to no avail) to kick him out because he is a guest. He'll end up helping out anyway, but Jaime will just sit at the counter and watch, a stupid smile on his face, which is good because it means Jaime won't mess anything up (unless asked to help with something) but also shows Bianca how much he really does love Jason.
Alberto Reyes would be a little more wary of Jason, since there are mob problems in El Paso that are decently prevalent in Jaime's original solo run and Alberto got caught in the middle of them, which led to his leg injury that causes him to need a cane. However, Jason is good at working on cars, and Alberto owns an auto shop, and the more Jason is around and wants to help out in the shop, the more invested Jaime gets in helping his father out with the business. And anyone who is that good at working on a car and makes his son happy is alright in Alberto's book. It helps that should Jaime get into any trouble, Jason (and the rest of the Red Hood gang) would be there to help.
Milagro likes Jason. He's like the big brother she never had.... Milagro also canonically likes Guy Gardner so i think that bodes well for her vibing with Jason. Jason also totally bribed her into liking him faster with some homemade cookies and a cool knife that she's not supposed to let her parents or Jaime see.
(sorry this was a really long ask! i just know ive seen stuff about jaime interacting with the wayne family but not jason interacting with jaimes family, who i love very much)
PLS! I'm familiar with Jaime's family from the trailer alone, but the ' they don't get out much' tells me everything I need to know.
Jason watches these people be so tight knit and open and playful and he's like WHATS THE FUCKING PROTOCOL?
The Waynes are clawing and fighting their way towards something just like this, of course, but they've never wanted something softly.
Honestly, I love that Jaime's dad (i think) called Batman a fascist? Which just makes me smile, because Brenda DEMANDS Jason brings his family over for a house warming dinner (Jason might have bought them a house...Maybe)
Imagine Jason squeezing Jaime's hand to keep from laughing as Alberto goes on a SCATHING RANT abt batman, arm around Bruce's shoulder as they're having drinks (Tequila for him and apple juice for Bruce)
Also, I love to imagine Paco saw 6'5 Jason standing next to his very much not 6'5 best friend, and the first thing he did was send jaime the hamster eating a banana meme
#dc#dc comics#jason todd#jaime reyes#redbeetle#jayrey#jaime x jason#jason x jaime#blue beetle#red hood#text
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✿ Sweeter than Honey ✿
I am still not sane after reading Barbatos’s new UR. Honey’s Sweet Allure was rlly good so I wrote a spicier continuation. Enjoy this sweet treat of our favorite butler (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑)
Devilgram spoilers ahead!! Story context:: Barbatos wants to promote common varieties of honey in the Devildom. His plan is to make several honey desserts then share the pics and recipes on Devilgram with help from Mc.
♡ 0.7k words under the cut ♡
“...and that is the final dessert.”
In Barbatos’s Devilgram post, the honey yogurt parfait couldn’t look more delectable. The video shows the demon butler mixing plain yogurt with richly-colored honey. A spritz of lemon juice causes the color to fade from bold amber to pale yellow. The finished dish is a glass cup filled with colorful layers of honey yogurt, berries, and granola.
You glance at the real dessert on the kitchen countertop. The parfait is half-eaten, too scrumptious for only one bite. Asmodeus will be thrilled with the leftovers, judging by his comments.
“Once again, thank you for your assistance.” Barbatos puts down his DDD and turns to face you. His poised smile is tinged with satisfaction. “Thanks to our efforts, the Devildom will gain a better appreciation for our ordinary varieties of honey.”
“No problem!” you reply. “Thank you again for letting me taste-test your sweets. Everything was absolutely delicious!”
“I am pleased to hear that. To that end, I would like to ask an important question: Which dessert was your favorite?”
“Hmm, that’s a difficult question. And a subjective one at that. Why are you asking me?”
There is a faint twinkle in his viridian eyes. “I’d like to know your personal favorite so that I may recreate it for you in the future.”
“Aw, thank you.” Looking away, you reexamine the assorted desserts on the countertop.
The roll cake. In addition to a light honey cream filling, the cake features an intricate pattern of honeycomb and flowers.
The patterned hard candy. It doesn’t have the magic trick of the candy sticks you shared at the park, but the swirly design is far prettier.
The honey shortcake with extra honey. After the initial excitement of having a cake all to yourself, you settled for two slices to make room for the other desserts.
Your gaze returns to Barbatos. He is sampling the souffle pancakes drizzled with floral honey. A spot of honey glistens on the back of his bare hand.
You blush, recalling your previous accident. Barbatos had been so unfazed as he wiped the honey splatters off your hand and commented on your flustered reaction.
“Oh? You seem to be blushing,” he observed, a knowing smile on his face. “Were you hoping for something else, perhaps? How adorable.”
“You!”
“I beg your pardon?” Barbatos puts down his fork, eyes widening by just a fraction.
You flash him a bright smile. “My favorite dessert is you, of course! Don’t you get it, honey?”
A short pause. “Are you referring to the use of ‘honey’ as a term of endearment?”
“Exactly!”
What a cheesy line. Nonetheless, your smile doesn’t waver.
There is a drop of honey on his lips. Barbatos must’ve missed it when he heard your sorry excuse for a pickup line. The sophisticated butler is totally oblivious to that imperfection.
Was your poor flirting attempt that effective? This day keeps getting better and better!
The corners of his mouth tilt upward. “You certainly have a unique way of picking favorites. However, it would be rather inappropriate of me to promote myself to the Devildom masses.”
“In that case, does that mean only I can indulge in you?”
His only response is an enigmatic smile. You help yourself to another slice of honey shortcake, savoring the heavenly sweetness
Barbatos taps the corner of his lips. “There is some honey on your lips, ______.”
“Oh, really?” you ask innocently. “Could you please clean it up for me, then?”
He picks up a napkin. “Certainly.”
You shake your head. “No, not with that. With your lips!”
“Oh? That method sounds rather ineffective and improper,” he shoots back.
Now he is just teasing you. Already, Barbatos is caressing your cheek and looking at you with half-lidded eyes. His tongue darts out to slowly lick the honey off his own lips. An immodest, purposeful gesture.
“As you wish. Be careful what you wish for with an attitude like that.”
♡
I enjoyed all of the Devilgram stories for the Beware the Bees?! URs but Barbatos rlly takes the cake for leaving me wanting more. How dare he make me crave honey and romance....
A big thank you to @diodellet for peer-reviewing this and witnessing my brainrot. I hope I was able to satisfy everyone's cravings for Barbatos (っ˘ڡ˘ς)
Tag a Barbatos enjoyer!! @haru-kichi @whoretaglia @paradisoperdita @luyo-mi
#obey me barbatos#barbatos#barbatos x reader#obey me x reader#obey me#obey me!#obey me! x reader#shall we date barbatos#g/n reader#jessamine-writing
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THANKS FOR REMINDING ME SEAN AND FOOD
Even after the gang learn to use expiration dates like yes some food is more perishable than others but Sean specifically grew up in Ireland 1879-1889ish. His Da, his favorite person, his idol, literally grew up during the Great Famine and I don't think that was a trauma he healed from or was able to protect Sean from. Sean absolutely inherited food insecurity. The gang are happy to laugh along with the running gag Sean can't keep his room clean but they know a lot of it is he gets so distressed over the idea of throwing food away even if it's expired and moldy. He will try to hide it for 'later'. Lenny has to keep a mental inventory of food that is about to expire because if it is not eaten or meticulously disposed of Sean will take it and has gotten food poisoning multiple times as a result.
His workplace in contrast are happy to support it. It's an elderly Italian couple, they appreciate the fact they hired the zoomiest erratic delivery boy in history but also a human garbage disposal who will merrily take home technically expired salami and enjoy it. 2 days technically expired salami is fine but it is a team effort to stop him saying shit like 'just cut the mold off the cheese it's fine' 'just don't drink the lumps in the milk'.
Kieran and instant meals is absolutely a thing. When I say instant I mean powdered. He was honestly the only one who struggled gaining weight while also being the one who really most urgently needed to gain weight. Bessie keeps that prescription high protein high calorie apple juice in stock at all times. Food is a nightmare of unexpected. Do you think he ever ate baked goods again after seeing a single spot of mold on a loaf of bread and learned that was a thing? Protein shakes, instant soup, rice cakes, instant potato, processed steam bag veggies and meat cooked to congratulations level of well done. If he cannot recognize what a food is made of he will not eat it. Rice, pasta, noodles, they do not look like food he will not touch them. Actually encouraging him to try protein shakes took a while but he now relishes the fact it is always the exact same (he will measure out the exact amount of water to make sure it is the same!!) He may be an Irish boy at heart but stew is a nightmare of vegetables cooked at different consistencies and he will only pick at it. Enjoys the taste sure but anxiety is too much.
Ironically he does really enjoy Mexican and Javier is very patient explaining the ingredients and letting him try stuff with the reassurance if he doesn't like it he will gladly eat it. Ugh I'm going to go off about how much the gang do not encourage Javier to connect to culture in canon era but Kieran adores listening to people talk about things they are excited and passionate about and will gladly sit through Javier's lectures on authentic Mexican and his stories of home. Javier also only cooks the way he was raised to, the recipe is the same every time and he is a perfectionist. Kieran does not fear pico de gallo as long as Javier solely was the one who made it. Will eat a bowl of it. Offer him a tomato any other time and he will not touch it.
While Arthur becomes a masterchef he absolutely was the first to start experimenting with food to disastrous effects that made them miss Pearson's bland mystery stews. Has mistaken salt for sugar when baking before he learned the importance of labels. Learned cilantro/coriander tastes like soap to him after accidentally dumping a mound of it into sauce thinking it was parsley. Arthur and John also in monkey brain mode together would do those hottest chip ever challenges and almost die.
Dutch's psych ward is bordering on resort living he treats his nurses like butlers laying in a sun chair in standard issue patient garb ordering hand squeezed lemonade doesn't even need to clear his throat before hearing an obedient 'yes, Mr Van Der Linde' and getting his refill. Gets a little giddy over the ridiculousness of tiny umbrellas as peak capitalism but drinks non-alcoholic pina colada for days. Crude jokes to Hosea about the magical effects of pineapple.
JACK'S RELATIONSHIP WITH PASTA HE LOVES PASTA Isaac took him to like wholefoods to see all the different shapes and types of pasta and Captain Angst lit up like a florescent lighting and bought all of it. John and Abigail are super uncomfortable with it but being kidnapped is one of Jack's happiest childhood memories he had good food, toys and experienced the high class luxuries hotels could only wish to offer. Will eat himself sick if he makes too much because he would never waste pasta. Carries a pasta measuring guide as one of his necessities after getting one as a gag present. Number 1 comfort food and boy does he need comforting. He will walk around eating a handful of plain pasta with the classic ardent desperation of both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl trying to tame it.
OMG WAIT SO UR AU HAS CHUBBY MACGUIRE
let the whole gang have their soft well fed happy era where they don't need to worry about where food is coming from no more treating beer like a necessary source of nutrition. don't care how long they've been warped they don't understand nor care for body standards or modern era aesthetics as long as they're happy and physically able to do the things they enjoy. dad bods and mom bods everywhere.
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Butler Juice
* Half apple cider * Half rose wine (or sparkling juice of your choice if under 21) * Dot of food colouring, lightly swirled
Butler Tea
* Tea of any choice (i recommend earl grey) * Milk (or any creamer/anything to make the tea lighter) * Dots of food colouring, lightly swirled * Extra: any sweeteners or garnish; boba pearls might be nice!
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Hot, Sweet, and Sticky
Pairing: Austin Butler x Fem!Reader
Prompt: You're in the kitchen baking some desert, and Austin takes this as the perfect opportunity to show just how much he appreciates you
Rating: Mature. 18+
Warnings: housewife kink, oral (f. receiving), p in v sex, playing with food during sex, swearing, a bit of fluff of course, creampie, light choking
Word Count: 5.8k
a/n: not much needs to be said aside from this needed to be written, and i volunteered as tribute to do it. :) (this was KINDA inspired by Cherry Pie by the band Warrant.)
Okay, this sounds easy enough. Bake at 400 for 45 minutes. Then leave to cool for 1 hour before serving. What's so hard about that?
Baking a pie seemed a little advantageous of you, especially since your culinary skills still require you to use meticulously detailed recipes to follow along with, but you were in the mood to try something new. It never scared you to back away from a good challenge.
Austin has been working so hard lately, and being the new starlet that everyone wants to get a piece of has left his energy reserves depleted. He doesn't mind saying hello to excited fans, and doing interviews on national television when required, but he'd much rather spend a quiet evening in with his girl where he doesn't have to be "on" for the public.
Seeing as it was raining cats and dogs outside, you figured what a better way to spend the afternoon than by surprising your man by making him something special. To get yourself in the mood you put on some of your favorite music. As you pull out all the necessary ingredients for this cherry pie you're attempting to bake, you let your hips swing side to side to the beat.
The butterflies in your stomach are trying to flee, but you don't allow them to overpower you. While you've never attempted to bake an entirely homemade pie before, you're confident in your skills. Once you've acquired all of the essentials and gathered them up in a haphazard pile on the granite island in the middle of your kitchen, you know you're ready to start.
Wait, I forgot something!
You snap your fingers at the realization that you aren't in the right attire to be baking. While you try to pretend that you're a culinary professional who doesn't messy up the counters and herself, you know that's not true. Knowing you, you'd probably spill cherry juice or get flour all over yourself in no time.
You scurry on over to the kitchen sink and bend forward to open the cabinets down below, pulling out a neatly folded red and white checkered apron. It was something that Austin had bought for you a long time ago when you first moved in with him. He's seen you in all your glory plenty of times before, flinging bits of food everywhere as you excitedly get into the groove of cooking. He decided it would be a practical gift. But also, it would give him an eyeful seeing you wear this, as it barely could pass as a proper apron.
It was so short it didn't even cover your front much at all. It had a cute ruffled edge along the bottom, and it had straps that hung off your shoulders. He definitely knew all too well what he was doing when he bought this little number. It revealed all the right bits of you but still kept enough to the imagination.
It was bound to look like a murder scene in the kitchen today, what with having cherries involved, so you unfolded the apron and threw it over your two piece lounge set. You certainly didn't want to dirty it, as it was yours and Austin's favorite - which was a simple white outfit with an off the shoulder crop top and matching white sleep shorts that barely covered anything. With the vintage apron now wrapped around you and tied at the back in a secure bow, you looked like something out of a 1950s pinup magazine. And you felt confident as hell in it.
One final step you always do when cooking or baking is tying up your hair in a messy bun. You decide to let your bangs softly cascade over your face, and you put your glasses on so you can read the recipe. Now that those formalities were out of the way, it was finally time to start making this damn pie before you chicken out.
You weren't keeping track of time so you weren't sure how long you'd been working on bringing this culinary masterpiece together. But you were already finished with the main star of this baking endeavor. The macerated cherries and sugar mixture were cooling in a bowl next to the pre-greased baking pan. The hardest part is still to come, making the lattice crust for the top.
The dough was on the floured granite countertop, and you were kneading away without a care. Rolling out dough was never your favorite part, you'd rather Austin do this so you can see him work his strong arms as his biceps flex with every flick of his wrists. You get so hot under the collar seeing him use his brute strength. Even something like opening a pesky pickle jar with little effort was a turn on.
You discarded your glasses beside you, not needing them for this part of the baking process. You were fully getting lost in the music playing loudly over the speakers as you begin rolling out the dough in time to the beat. Your hips naturally start to sway to and fro once more. You probably knew that you looked ridiculous right now, putting on an amusing show as you start to sing under your breath as you use the rolling pin on the pie crust.
What you didn't know was that Austin was watching your every move, but he didn't want to make his presence known just yet. He was wholeheartedly enjoying you prance around in your little outfit, with your hair up, and rolling your hips to the music like his own personal cabaret dancer.
His bottom lip was sucked into his mouth, and he let out a muffled whimper as he just stood there off to the side, getting all the more flustered. An internal battle was raging in his mind. Should he leave you to it? Or should he interrupt and have his way with you? Both options seemed tempting, as he was more than happy to observe like a snake in the grass. But his growing erection in his pants threw gasoline on the already burning fire within him. The choice was already made.
He decides to go on the prowl. Before you even know what's happening you feel Austin's arms wrap around your waist from behind, pulling you flush against his chest. You gasp, but you soon melt against Austin as he plants innocent kisses along the column of your neck, tickling you with the little bit of 5 o'clock shadow he's sporting.
"What's going on here, baby? You baking something good?" He purrs against you, the low timbre of his voice sending a chill down your spine and an ache down below. He's fanning the flames.
You sigh, getting lost in his kisses. His intrusion was welcomed. "Yes, i'm trying to make a cherry pie for you. I'm crossing my fingers it turns out well."
"A pie all for me? I feel so spoiled." Austin giggles against your neck.
"Well, why not? You've been so stressed lately. I wanted to do something nice for you." As Austin continues to ravage your neck, you attempt to get back into rolling out the dough.
"You always do nice things for me. I don't know what the hell I did to deserve you." He said in a hushed tone, enjoying the warmth of your curves pressed in all the right places against his body. His cock was getting harder by the second.
"Oh stop. I should be the one asking that, not you." You say over your shoulder. Austin could sometimes get into these modalities of believing that he's not worthy of all the good things in his life. While his brain might genuinely believe he's not deserving of your love, you both know that you're imperfectly perfect for each other.
"Hey, when you find another girl that bakes cherry pies for her man and looks as good as you while doing it then you let me know. Cause from my point of view, I'm only seeing one that fits the bill." He says enthusiastically, trying to emphasize his point.
"Shut up." You tease playfully.
"Nope, not shutting up. You got me acting all kinds of ways right now. Have you even seen yourself? You look so sexy in this apron, baby. My little housewife." He growled, his lips finding their way to where your jaw meets your ear. You chuckle when you feel his teeth nibbling teasingly on your earlobe.
"Housewife?" You kinda like the sound of that to be honest. It rolls off the tongue, and it sounds good when it's coming from Austin. You like it so much that you brush your ass back against his straining cock, which earns you a low moan from your man that reverberates in his chest.
"Oh yeah, you keep the place so nice and clean, tidying up after me when I'm too tired. You cook and bake the most scrumptious things for me. Granted, you make a horrible mess when you do, but even that's so hot. My messy girl." Austin rasps huskily. Your spurring him on so much right now and it's exhilarating to say the least. He can't help put rock his length against the curve of your ass. Breathy moans slip past his beautiful pouty lips.
A trail of wetness trickles down your thighs the more he's getting himself worked up into a tizzy. The pie has been long forgotten at this point. All you care about is how good Austin is making you feel. And you want him, right now. "Well damn, I'll wear this apron more often if it gets you this excited." You toss the rolling pin to the side and throw one of your hands behind you, cradling his head and tousling up his hair.
"Honey, you know I have a thing for vintage pinup. This right here gets my motor running." He pants hot and heavy against your ear.
Austin's grip on your waist tightens, and you gasp when he rolls his hips against your ass ardently, yearning for more friction. You moan at the delicious outline of his jean-clad cock nuzzling into your supple flesh.
"You feel that? That's what you do to me." He moans.
You bite your lip and just savor in everything Austin is giving to you in this moment. He has such an authoritative power over you where you can fall to pieces in his arms, aching for his cock in a second. He's aware of his power, and he wields it carefully.
"Austin, if you keep distracting me you won't have anything to eat for desert later." You whine in a halfhearted attempt to get back to the task at hand. You know full well that's not happening, but hey, at least you tried to act like you gave a damn.
He smirks wickedly. "That's not true, baby. I've already got desert right here. And in fact, I'm starving."
You yelp as Austin spins you around in his arms and picks you up by the backs of your thighs without a moment to lose. You instinctively jump into him, and wrap your legs around his svelte waist. He grunts as he places you down on the counter top and wastes no time in pressing his wanting lips against yours in a searing kiss filled with desperation. Your kisses turn heated, and fast. Tongues are fighting for dominance back and forth and your arousal spills out of your pussy, drenching your shorts that are holding on by a thread. You moan into his mouth and he swallows them, giving you his own erotic whines in return.
Austin pulls away from your mouth only for a moment, and leaves wet kisses down your jaw, your neck, and your decolletage. You throw your head back and whimper softly as you allow him more access to your skin begging for his attention.
His hands roam you body, making sure to give ample attention to palming your breasts through your shirt. His ears are filled with the sweet sounds of your insatiable moans that plays like the most beautiful music he's ever heard in his life. In an effort to get closer to him, you clutch onto the belt loops of his jeans in your hands and yank him forward, eliciting a gorgeous growl that make you shiver as you grind your heat along his shaft.
Austin's needy hands eventually make their way around to your back, letting his fingertips dance along the apron. He bites his lip before swallowing down his lust. "I don't know whether I want to leave this on or rip it off you." He says, toying with the bow of the apron, running his calloused fingers over the cotton. He lets the thought ruminate in his mind for a hot second before dropping the fabric from his reach. "Fuck it, the apron is staying on. I wanna see you wearing it as I take you. But first things first."
Unexpectedly, Austin peels himself away from your flushed body and gets down on his knees in front of you. The apron may be short, but you don't want it to obscure your vision. So you hold onto it with one of your hands, as the other braces itself back on the counter.
You feel Austin's hands snake from so much pent up desire as he slides your sleep shorts down and off your body. And he groans lustfully at the incredible vision of your bare pussy, glistening with your juices, inviting him in.
"Goddamn. No panties today? You're gonna be the death of me." He momentarily palms himself through his jeans, alleviating the strain against his throbbing cock that wants to spring free.
You bite your lip as you look into the eyes of your man before you. It's the hottest thing in the world seeing Austin on his knees, and he's always so eager to please his woman. Your heart thumps wildly in your chest, and you spread your legs wider, beckoning him towards where you needed him the most.
He flashes you a devilish grin. He intends to rock your world, and you're literally gripping the edge of your seat with anticipation for his next move. He loves keeping you on your toes. Austin takes your hips in his hands and scoots you further down the counter, closer to his face. He gets right up close and personal to your sopping wet pussy, but he places soft butterfly kisses to your inner thighs, peppering them with love.
Your breathing rapidly increases as he gets closer and closer to your sex. His warm breath against your sensitive skin gives you goosebumps, and you whine, unable to take this torment any longer.
He flicks his baby blues up at you, which shine radiant as ever, with a twinkle of mischief behind his eyes, as he keeps you directly in his line of sight. Seeing you unfurl before him is what keeps the embers growing higher inside that tightly wound coil in his stomach. While teasing is one of his talents, he can't contain himself anymore. Finally he gives you what you want. He licks one long broad swipe through your sopping folds. And you practically cry out a the feel of his wet muscle nestled in your pussy.
Austin takes his time on you, even though he's mad with primal desire. He loves to savor you on his tongue, and make you a writhing mess on top of him. He sets a sensual pace of licking and swiping through your folds, collecting all of your heavenly nectar in his mouth and swallowing greedily. He moans against your pussy as he goes down on you, long and slow as if he's making out with you down below.
"Mmm. Fuck, you taste so good. I could eat your pussy all day, baby." He said between broad, sensual swipes of his tongue working miracles through your swollen lips. The more he laps you up the more you blossom open for him.
"Austin." You moan out. Your hips involuntarily move off the counter and thrust into his mouth, matching the leisure pace he's setting with his tongue. And he obliges by clinging onto your hips harder and spreading your legs further apart to get access to all of you at once. He continues his pace, unrelenting and slow burning. He has the most skillful mouth in all of existence. And you were the lucky girl to experience it firsthand.
Suddenly Austin sits back a little on his heels, pulling away from your pussy. But it's not for long. In a move that makes your head spin and your walls flutter, he spits directly onto your clit, getting it all covered with your juices and his own saliva thickly. You're practically dripping now onto the floor beneath you, but neither of you care. You see stars when Austin sets a target on your clit. He immediately goes to town swiping kitten licks up and down on your swollen bud.
"Oh yes! Like that." You mewl. You can't control yourself anymore, you release the apron you've been clutching onto and try to fold it as best you can so it's out of your way. Austin's sandy waves is where your hand finds residence as you push him further into your throbbing clit.
You can feel him smirk against you, knowing he's got you right where he wants you. You gush around his mouth, your juices dripping down his chin as he brings you bundle of nerves into his mouth and sucks while lapping you up against his tongue. You feel like collapsing back onto the counter, he's eating you out like a thirsty man in need of water. All the obscene slurping noises he's making with his mouth as he explores all of your folds with his tongue is bringing you close to the edge. And he knows you're close, those sexy high pitched moans you make as you furrow your brow and shake around him has him picking up his pace.
"Come on baby, give it to me." He groans, his baritone voice being muffled between your legs as you keep feeding him your slick. He sloppily drags his tongue all around and through your sweet cunt, and he hungrily devours your clit with such tenacity that you want to pass out from pure pleasure. His puffy red lips are getting swollen by the second. He wants to release his cock from his jeans and jerk himself off while his tongue is buried inside of you, but he knows you're close to coming and he keeps that urge at bay for now.
He growls ferociously against your pussy, the vibration adding to the orgasmic mix of his succulent lips and strong tongue. Austin is determined to make you come like this, and he's not letting up.
"I-I'm gonna..." You moan helplessly, but your warning does nothing to stop the impactful climax that makes your walls stutter. You moan his name one final time, and your wetness pours out of you and blankets his mouth, and Austin greedily suctions it all up into his mouth. You shake hard around him, but he grounds you with his domineering hands on your hips. His fingers will probably bruise your flesh, but it'll be a reminder of how eager your man is to eat you alive.
"That's my girl." Austin coos, praising you from down below as he licks you clean. Your body jolts back a little from sensitivity as Austin's tongue gently kisses and swipes up every last drop of your orgasm. "Better than any desert you could ever make me."
A blush creeps over your blissed out face as you watch him clean you up good. Honestly, Austin could make you come on his tongue again just like this, but he has other plans for you this afternoon.
Austin plants one tender kiss to your clit, making you whimper, before he stands back up. He looks dazed out of his mind with your juices smeared all over the lower half of his face. He takes the bottom of his sweater and lifts it up to his face, wiping away what's left of you. Austin's well defined abs that you love so much are exposed for your viewing pleasure.
Your allow your fingertips to dance along his stomach, and you can feel him suck in a breath beneath your hands at your gentle touch. Once he's done wiping his face he swiftly removes his top, throwing it across the kitchen. As he does that, your hands travel on their own accord lower to the waistband of his jeans. Your deft fingers pull back the button and unzip the fly. He helps do the rest as he hooks his thumbs unto his boxers and his jeans, pulling them down to his ankles in one swift motion. At long last, his throbbing cock springs free from the confines of his clothes. And you bask at the man before you, getting even wetter at the fact that his cock is all yours.
There's no time to step out of his pants completely, he leaves them around his ankles. And he doesn't want to remove your crop top or apron. Those stay on as per his request. He immediately takes his cock in his hand and grazes his red tip through your slippery folds. You both whine lustfully as your juices and his pre-cum sloshes together in a sinful mixture.
"Austin, please. Fuck me." You purr, sex dripping from your vocal chords. One of your hands cling to his broad shoulder for support, and the other one plays with the long golden tendrils at the nape of his neck.
He looks gorgeous as he bites his lip. "God, I love hearing you beg for my cock." He moans breathlessly. Austin brings you further down the edge of the countertop, one of his hands rests on the small of your back, and the other one is groping the flesh of your ass to hoist you up in his embrace.
As you patiently wait for Austin to make his move, your demure doe eyes peer into his. Those crystalline orbs you love so much have completely stormed over, his pupils dilated. He's about to lose his damn mind if he doesn't get his dick wet right this second.
Enough playing around. It's time to get down to brass tax. He drags the head of his thick cock down to your weeping entrance and shallowly thrusts inside until he bottoms out all the way. The groan that befell his lips and shrouded your senses made your pussy clench around his engorged member, coaxing him on even more.
He gives you a second for your walls to adjust to his girth, which doesn't take long because you're soaking wet. And you accommodate Austin's impressive cock so well. In no time the temporary sting of being stretched gives way to the immense pleasure.
Austin gets to work thrusting in and out of your slippery cunt with ease, still just as tight for him as the first time he made love to you.
"Aus!" You moan, throwing your head back in ecstasy.
"Oh shit, your pussy feels like Heaven." He groans. He holds onto you tight as he fucks you passionately. Your juices coat his cock, strings of slick stick to the both of you, making it easier for him to push deeper inside of you.
Your walls flutter around him so deliciously, he can't help but fuck you just a little bit faster. Using his shoulder for leverage as you hold onto him, you raise your hips off the counter and thrust your hips down onto his cock. Soon you're working together in a sweet rhythm as you pant and moan into each other's sweaty faces.
He looks so hot with his mouth hung open, filthy noises pouring out past his puffy lips. And his long hair hangs low in his face as you bounce harder on his cock. The tendrils obscure his pretty eyes, but it makes your walls stroke his engorged length even harder.
You're so lost in the throws of passion that you barely notice Austin reach behind you to a cold bowl of whipped cream you have sitting out for the cherry pie. Austin cheekily dips two fingers into the cream and taps his fingertips against your bottom lip as you're in the middle of letting out a carnal moan. Your eyes spring open suddenly as you feel the cold cream start to seep past your lips.
"Suck." Was all Austin said. Your pussy gushed around him, being turned on by the command. And god do you ever love this man's fingers so much, how can you seriously say no to this? And he uses that knowledge of your yearning for his fingers all the time to his advantage.
You let your tongue lap underneath his two fingers, bringing them into your mouth expertly. Austin watches intently as you whine around his digits, sucking and swirling your tongue around his fingers as you draw them deeper into your mouth, lavishing them as if it was his cock in your mouth.
Austin let's out a long, guttural groan from his throat as he watches his fingers disappear into your mouth as you swallowed all of the whipped cream obediently. As quickly as you brought his sexy fingers into your mouth he pulled them out, and went to wrap his entire hand around the front of your throat, applying just the right amount of pressure.
"My best girl. You greedily take everything I give you, don't you? My perfect housewife is so well disciplined." He grits through his clenched jaw as he slams his cock in and out of your aching pussy.
A little lightbulb flickered through your mind in this moment. Why should he have all the fun playing with his food? While Austin is brushing his swollen cock perfectly against your g-spot, making you gush and shiver around him, you set your plan into motion.
He watches you with a quizzical brow as you too dip your fingers into the bowl of whipped cream. Once you've scooped enough of the sticky confection onto your fingertips, you squeal playfully as you smear the cream over Austin's cheek. Some of it falls into his neck in the process by accident.
To your surprise, this doesn't deter Austin at all. In fact, you can feel his cock pumping harder and deeper into your juicy pussy. He's actually enjoying this. The dominant act he was putting on for you slowly faded away, leaving him laughing sweetly at your antics.
He smiles wide. "How dare you! I'm kinda in the middle of fucking your brains out here." He chuckled breathlessly. His pace never relenting, he's still managing to plunge his cock so good into you.
You lean into him. "Don't worry honey, I always clean up my messes. That's what good housewives do right?" You purred sexily. His eyes widen in trepidation and arousal at your words. And he nearly dropped you out of his grasp when he felt your soft tongue scandalously lick his face, getting every remnant of cream into your mouth.
He moans, and the hand around your throat drops to your voluptuous ass as he swats you a couple of times. His cock throbs strong and proud as he strokes your sweet spot over and over again. You tightened your grip on his shoulder, and you further threaded your fingers deep into his silky golden strands. You were practically levitating off of the table at this point, he held you firm against his hard body.
Your pussy enveloped every amazing inch of him as he thrusted his cock as far as he could feasibly get, before pulling out almost all the way. You whined at the loss of him with just the tip clinging on for dear life. But you both shuddered, groaning wildly to each other when he slammed you down swiftly on his cock. He was balls deep inside and unrelenting.
"You're so fucking hot, baby. I swear to God I'm gonna come any second." He bellows, he shivers violently as your sweet tongue gets back to work lapping up all of the cream off his face, and you pepper kisses down the bulging veins in his neck.
His thrusts quickly turn sloppy. Your divine pussy is milking him for everything he's worth, drawing out his impending orgasm right along with you. And he desperately wants to give all of himself over to you.
"Aus, i'm so close." You moan. Your legs twitch around his waist, and you bounce down harder on his dick. The most erotic sounds were coming from your conjoined bodies. You didn't know how long you could last like this, but it wasn't a whole lot of time.
"I know. Come on my cock. Give me what's mine." He snarls like an animal in heat in your face. You lose it right then and there. When Austin talks dirty to you like that it's game over.
"Fuuuuck, Austin!" You groan one final time. You shake in his arms as you feel your orgasm rush over you, and ooze out around his cock and drip down your thighs and onto his legs. This new pool of wetness has Austin catapulting over the cliff, and you can feel him lose his resolve with every deep plunge of his cock. Your walls coaxing him to come, and your sexy moans, was the thing that did him in.
"Y/N, fucking hell!" Austin hoarsely yelled. He stuttered inside of you, his cock swelling up and shooting out load after load of his hot come, completely drenching every inch of your walls.
You both shake and writhe together, coming down from the highs of your explosive orgasms. Poor Austin can no longer hold you up, the adrenaline leaving his body and rendering his arms slack. He gingerly places you back down on the counter before he actually does drop you for real.
You both simply stare at each other, eyes full of nothing but love and adoration. He presses his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his breath.
"My god that was somethin' else." He giggles.
"Mm. Yeah, that was amazing." You praise, your voice barely above a whisper as you try to find your way back down to Earth. "Oh hang on, I missed a spot on." You say curiously as you inspect Austin's perfectly sculped face in your hands. You didn't do the best job apparently of getting rid of all the whipped cream off of Austin's cheek. You take the ruffled edge of the apron from between your bodies and bring it up to his face, gently cleaning off the shiny sticky residue of the cream.
Austin hums as you dote on him. "You really are so goddamn perfect, y'know that?"
You blush. "No, you."
Austin rolls his eyes and smacks your ass lightly, making you jump. "You're incorrigible." He chuckles, bemused by your inability to take a compliment.
Your apron does it's job wiping Austin's face and neck. You do one final pass along his skin before you smile at your handiwork. Austin sighs contentedly when you place an affectionate kiss on his cheek. And he reciprocates by taking your chin in his palm, his fingers caressing your jaw, as he presses his pillowy lips tenderly onto yours.
Somehow you both forgot that Austin's cock is still stuffed full inside your pussy, the feel of him buried to the hilt was like home and you didn't want him to leave. Neither did he, but the alarm on the stove buzzed impossibly loud in your ears, alerting you that it was at the perfect temperature to put the pie inside.
Austin laughed, crinkling his nose cutely. "I would say sorry for getting in the way of making your cherry pie. But i'm not." He said jokingly.
You attempted to laugh but you whimpered as Austin withdrew himself from your used and abused pussy. His come leaked out of you and fell onto the floor by his feet. He took note of the mess on the ground and trailed his eyes hungrily over your exposed cunt oozing with his load. He licked his lips.
"Now that is the best looking pie I've ever seen. Goddamn." He threw you a sexy wink before making his way over to the sink to grab some paper towel to clean himself off.
You groaned at his joke. "Aus, I just knew you were gonna say something like that." You pinched the bridge of your nose with your fingers, laughing and cringing at the words that flew out of his mouth.
Once he was done with himself, he pulled his pants and boxers back on, zipping them up. He turned back around to you with a new towel and went to work on cleaning his come from your thighs. A simple but caring romantic gesture that made you swoon.
"I thought you love when I make jokes." He teased. After cleaning you up he threw the towels in the trash and lifted you down off of the counter and back on steady ground. You wobbled a little, grasping at his biceps as your legs regained life.
"Of course I do, you're actually really funny when you want to be." You quipped back in a sassy tone.
He feigned hurt by putting his hand over his heart. "Ouch. That one cut just a little too deep, baby."
You fluffed your long lashes at him as you tried to readjust your top and your apron. "Love you." You said, dripping with too much sugary sweetness.
But Austin was putty in your hands. "Love you more." He scanned the kitchen floors to where he discarded your sleep shorts and ran to grab them, handing them to you. "Figured you wanted these back." He grinned.
"Yes thank you, I don't wanna be standing here trying to make this pie with my vagina hanging out." You giggled.
Austin threw his head back and burst out into a hearty belly laugh. "Honestly, that sounds so sexy to me. I would not complain."
You slapped his arm. "Of course you wouldn't. But I seriously need to get a move on with this pie. I'm not even done rolling the dough out."
With your shorts back on and trying your best to look put together, as if you didn't just get brutally fucked on the counter, you turned your attention back to the half rolled out pie crust. You still had so much work ahead of you.
Austin shoves one of his hands into his jeans pocket while the other one drapes around your waist, he looks down at you like your his entire world. And you are. "Would you like some help?"
You avert your attention away from the mess on the counter and up into your man's sparkling diamond eyes. You smiled warmly and nodded. "Sure I'd love your help, thank you."
The two of you get to work posthaste on coming together as a team, creating the most sweet and juicy cherry pie you've both ever eaten. But while it's an outstanding desert, Austin much prefers the taste of you.
tags: @aconflagrationofmyown @harringrove-sketchbookpages @samfangirls @2lekk @moonchild-daniella @ggwritesstuff @plasticfantasticl0ver @austinbutlersworld @unadulteratedkingdomzombie @sapphirescripts @ash-omalley @pearlparty @denised916 @cartooncoaster @flowersofcement @allittakesisoneflight @powerofelvis @headfullofpresley @elvisabutler @avengen
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler imagine#austin butler smut#smut#fanfic#fanfiction#austin butler x you#austin butler x fem!reader#austinbutleredit#austin butler x y/n#austin butler elvis#austin babe-ler#Austin butler fanfic#fluff#housewife kink#housewife#domestic#relationship
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I saw your fic with Barbatos & Satan at the concert and loved it. So how about a fluffy fic with the two of them baking or cooking together.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen
Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Characters: Satan, Barbatos
Additional Tags: Fluff, baking
A/N: One order of fluff coming up!
Word Count: 492
“Do you happen to have volcanic oats?” Barbatos asked as he looked over the ingredients in front of him. Bittersweet apples, screaming lemon juice, burnt black sugar, and more. He had almost everything needed to make the crumble, but he still needed the volcanic oats to make it perfect. Of course, other types of oats would work as well, but volcanic oats would be the best.
“Check the cabinet up there.” Satan motioned with his flour-covered hand, “It should be toward the back behind a nearly empty bag of poison wasp stingers, assuming Beel didn’t eat them all.” Which was a real risk when it came to keeping anything in the same house as the avatar of gluttony.
Barbatos opened the cabinet, hoping to find the oats but not building up his expectations. Much to his joy, they appeared to be there, though the poison wasp stingers certainly were not.
He brought down the sack of oats and set them on the counter while Satan continued to knead the bread in front of him.
They had, for the sake of something new, decided to exchange recipes for the day and make a specialty of the other. Barbatos taught Satan to make some of the lightly sweet yet savory bread that went so well with his black teas and Satan gave Barbatos the recipe card to make a special apple crumble. Barbatos just wanted to make a few small edits he thought would be more appetizing.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, though? Those get really hot in the oven and could burn the entire thing,” Satan had to ask because he knew Barbatos would be upset if his crumble came out as anything other than perfect.
“I’ve already accounted for it.” As long as he kept the temperature low the oats would cook it the rest of the way.
“If you say so.” For Satan’s part, he was struggling with the bread dough, finding it almost as hard as a rock and he tried to fold it over itself.
Barbatos noticed his struggles and shook his head. He knew firsthand how difficult this particular step was, “Would you like some assistance?”
Satan only grumbled out a small, “Yes,” before stepping back and allowing Barbatos to take over.
The butler rolled up his sleeves and took over for Satan, coating his hands in a layer of flour before beginning. He was careful to move slowly as he kneaded the dough, knowing that it would harden quickly if he went too fast. That was the secret to these special little loaves.
“If you go at this speed, you should be able to continue without issue.”
Satan nodded in understanding, “I see. That’s an interesting trick.”
“A gentle hand to make the bread just as soft.” That was the entire trick to it.
Both of them, now with an understanding, returned to their respective recipes and continued to try and recreate the other’s dish.
#obey me#obey me satan#obey me barbatos#obey me fanfic#obey me fluff#fluff#mine#request#swd obey me#obey me swd
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What kinds of foods were you not expecting certain races to enjoy? Like, things you thought for sure the Altmer wouldn't eat EVER, but they actually do?
There are certainly a surprising number of culinary irregularities all Tamrielic races have, despite the overwhelming number of picky eaters (Skyrim and Valenwood, I'm looking at you). These are some of the ones which caught me off-guard...
Argonians
Traditional Argonian cuisine is known for being spicy and a whirlwind of flavours, so the mildness and complexity of foam frog soufflé was not what I expected! In terms of taste and texture, it's comparable to the classic Breton orange liqueur flambéed soufflé. The naturally-occurring foam generated by foam frogs is whipped with coconut milk and scuttlebloom nectar, then gently baked in delicate clay ramekins in a traditional stone oven. It is then sprinkled with a bit of coconut sugar, and drenched in sweet banana liqueur before getting blasted with a Flame spell right at your table! Don't think you can try this at home though- this recipe takes a lot of skill to pull off, and is considered one of the most impressive dishes in Saxhleel cuisine. And yes, it's Breton-approved, but don't tell them that the frog foam is actually residue from mating and is filled with tadpoles.
Breton
On that note, the Breton kitchen is full of surprises! It's well known that High Rock gastronomy is very focused on sit-down meals and the correct use of cutlery, so finger foods aren't very traditional, even among the common folk. It blew my mind when I first visited Daggerfall and found taverns and market stands selling Orcish kebabs! These messy, enormous rolls have been downsized (and underfilled) to suit Breton tastes, but the strongly spiced goat meat, frost mirriam yoghurt sauce, and tasty radish balls are true to the original! You'll even find nobles sending their butlers out to procure a hot kebab for them to eat out of view of the public eye...it would be mortifying if somebody saw a drop of chili sauce dripping down a noblewoman's chin!
Bosmer
Green Pact Bosmeri food isn't known for its sweets, so the very existence of meat-based desserts was initially baffling to me. A Valenwood favourite is the boiled pudding, which is made from eggs, milk, suet, and cricket flour, and sweetened with imported sugar, sweet condensed milk, or candied fruit. As such, these dense puddings are sometimes known as Falinesti Forbidden Fruit, and they're sometimes decorated to look like large oranges, apples, or coconuts for the shock factor! And if you're curious to try this strange but tasty dessert, you'll be pleased to know that a new recipe is coming soon...
Nords
I admit it, Skyrim cuisine can be a little bland compared to the food of most other races, but this little gem is a dish most outsiders don't know about- Akaviri casserole. I don't know if it's actually Akaviri in origin, or if somebody just thought it sounded exotic, but it is deceptively spicy, and not in a way most Tamrielic people know it. Its key ingredient is frost peppercorns, which grow at high altitudes in Skyrim and around the Druadach Mountains, are coveted by alchemists, but also pack a serious punch in any dish. While regular chilis have a sharp burn, frost peppercorns leave a numbing, tingly feeling that spice masochists love. Anywhere from a couple of peppercorns to a whole fistful of them go into a casserole dish with an eidar cheese sauce, venison, juniper berries, and vegetables like potatoes and carrots. In other words, it's just another Nord dish...but painful.
Redguards
I mentioned a while ago that Redguards detest moldy or fermented foods, due to the close association with rot and death. There is an exception to this however, and it's surprisingly something that's served in every Hammerfell household: fish paste. Similar in taste to the Imperial garum, fermented fish paste is literally made from leftover fisherman's offcuts which usually have been left out in the sun all day. Rather than leaving the scraps to the vultures, at the end of the day they're shovelled into stone amphorae containing gods know what (it's a closely guarded secret) and are left to ferment for two days in a cellar. Of course, there are plenty of posh Redguard fish pastes on the market with Abecean longfin caviar, but this is first and foremost a food of the common people, with humble (if slightly gross) origins.
Imperials
I've always loved the predictability of Cyrodiilic cooking...until you find something like barbecued minotaur ribs. Ribs aren't anything surprising, but Imperial ribs are usually tender, delicate lamb or faun. Eating is a serious, dignified affair, so this is a completely astounding defiance of customs. Minotaur meat is a rare delicacy, and they're normally basted in a red wine, honey, and mustard sauce, and grilled on flaming coals. The end result is a meaty, sweet mess, and definitely just as undignified to eat (if not moreso) than the Breton kebabs. If you're willing to get your hands dirty and abandon haughty Imperial decorum, you've found a carnivore's dream.
Khajiit
Gryphons can be dangerous pests to the Khajiit living outside city walls in Elsweyr. When they've snatched enough sheep or wounded people, villagers will often band together and hunt the responsible gryphon, and eat it at a communal feast. A successful gryphon hunt is a cause for celebration among Khajiit, and is seen as a good omen and blessing from Hircine, the Hungry Cat. The reason this is fascinating to me is that gryphons are sort of like a cross between turkey and beef in form and taste, and no other race eats them. After it is plucked, gryphon meat is hacked into chunks and distributed by the clan chief between households, who then cook and share it with the village. Gryphon dishes range from red curried gryphon with saffron rice to a simple roast gryphon with moon sugar.
Altmer
It's an industry joke that cooking for High Elves is like trying to milk a kagouti; it makes no sense, they're probably going to get mad, and it's impossible. Imagine my astonishment, then, when I learned that even haughty Summerset is not immune from the delicious clutches of...macaroni and cheese. They'll opt for ingredients like cave-aged, 80 year old vintage indrik cheddar or authentic Cyrodiilic buckwheat orrechiette, but I was shocked that this humble dish was a treat that's well-loved in Summerset, despite its lack of technical complexity. It's a rare treat though, because all that cheese grease is bad for the Altmer complexion!
Dunmer
Nothing is particularly surprising from the old guard of traditional Vvardenfell cooking- after a few kwama eggs and guar steaks, you get the general idea. What I do find surprising is the emergence of Skyrim Dunmeri cuisine. It's been a couple of generations since the refugees fleeing Morrowind settled in Solstheim and largely Windhelm, and those born in Skyrim have developed a cooking style of their own. Based on traditional Dunmeri dishes like crab meat and scuttle, you'll find local ingredients used as substitutes. Apparently, the juices from Nord pickled herring makes the perfect substitute for kwama egg whites...I'll leave it at that.
Orcs
It's known that the radish is an Orc's favourite vegetable, and it's served tender, crunchy, baked or raw in any Orcish dish under the sun. Radish tea-sandwiches are therefore one of the more confusing foods I've come across, though they're mostly served by Wrothgarian and High Rock Orsimer. Soft wheat bread is buttered and layered with horseradish chutney, raw radish slices, and cucumber slices. They're cut into dainty triangles are are usually a snack food, though other races view them as canapés served at high tea or parties. However, when I asked an old hearthwife on Betnikh about radish tea-sandwiches, I was threatened a beating because it was embarrassing, and to tusk off and find some mammoth. If you never hear from me again, you know who got me.
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Alfred’s Favorite Barbara
Babs & Alfred || Read on Ao3 || Happy Birthday, Barbara Gordon! ❤
<< A sequel to last year’s “Batgirls’ Favorite Mentor”
~*~
Barbara leaned forward and spit out the toothpaste Cass had let her use, on one of the many spare toothbrushes Alfred kept in the guest toiletries stockpile, then leaned back in her chair with a sigh and considered her mostly-put-together-again reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Wow, that had certainly been a party of a night, she mused, ruefully lifting a strand of her sleep-mussed auburn locks before deciding that pulling it back in a bun was really the only dignified solution.
Steph and Cass had kept her up all night--not like that was all that much different from her usual schedule, but mani, pedi, facials, horrible (great) superhero movies, and gossip until dawn had worn her out more than she would have expected. Although, the wine that had snuck into the mix right when the mani-pedis were left to dry and the third movie went in might have had something to do with it, she conceded with a smirk at herself in the mirror. It wasn't a bad sort of tired, she admitted as she tucked few stray hairs into her messy bun, but she was more than ready for a day to rest, recover and recharge.
Just after dawn, Alfred had invaded the sanctum of their home theater encampment to invite them up to the kitchen for a hearty breakfast. There he had laid out toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, juices, teas, coffee, pancakes and even some of the real cake from the night before--a rare breach of protocol from the prim and proper butler that Barbara took as a one-time gesture of affectionate indulgence of their whims--which eventually drew out the other occupants of the house, turning breakfast the morning after into as much of a party as dinner the night before had been.
After that, Alfred had shooed Steph and Cass off to bed and shown Barbara up to her regular guest room where the bed had already been turned down, the pillows fluffed and the blackest of blackout curtains tightly drawn, bless that man. After a few hours of much needed sleep, it was now just past noon, most of the manor's occupants were either still sleeping or out living their daylight personas, and Alfred had offered to drive her back to the Clocktower after she had "freshened up a bit".
Satisfied that she had done as much as she could to make herself decent for the drive of shame, Barbara gathered her things and made her way down the hall to the elevator. Alfred was waiting for her when the doors opened on the civilian garage.
"Ah, Miss Barbara, I take it you're ready to depart?"
"Yes. Thank you for driving me back, Alfred."
"Of course, it's my pleasure."
He led the way toward their several limousines, opened the door to one very special vehicle and began extending and lowering a long ramp. Barbara pressed her lips together to hide a smile as Alfred stepped to one side and let her wheel herself up the shallow incline. He retracted the ramp, closed the door and slid into the driver's seat while she positioned herself in the sleek interior and locked the wheels of her chair.
"Thanks again, Alfred. For everything," Barbara added as they pulled out of the garage. "Last night, this morning...it was all amazing and it must have been so much work--extra work--for you. I really appreciate it."
She saw his eyebrows rise in the rear-view mirror as he replied, "Of course. It was no trouble; I would hardly label hosting a small dinner in honor of and giving accommodations to one of my favorite persons "work". It was a pleasure, Miss Barbara."
She raised an eyebrow in turn. "Oh really? A fairly large dinner, putting up with the mess we all made in the theater afterwards, and putting together a big breakfast in the morning--and driving me back after letting me stay over, even when I'm sure you've got plenty of cleaning up to do? 'Favorite person' huh? If I didn't know better I'd think you were buttering me up for something, Alfred Pennyworth," she teased, sharing a knowing look with him in the mirror.
He didn't laugh out loud, but his eyes twinkled in that way Barbara knew meant he was amused rather than offended. "My word! Is it so hard to believe that an old man would take pleasure in doing what little he could to celebrate the birthday of his favorite Barbara."
Barbara did laugh out loud. "Your favorite...huh! First Jason calls me his favorite, then Tim and Dick, then Steph and Cass... and now you? All of you in less than twenty-four hours? Did you all have a meeting to discuss the topic or am I about to go home to one of the hardest cases of all time and you're all buttering me up to it?"
"I believe the subject had come up recently," Alfred replied evenly. "You do so much for this family and receive so little appreciation..."
"That's my line," Barbara muttered incredulously with a minute shake of her head.
"...and I'll have you know that of all the Barbaras I've had the pleasure of knowing, you most certainly rank supreme."
Barbara huffed a laugh through her nose. "And how many Barbaras is that exactly?"
Alfred met her eyes in the mirror and fixed her with an impressive look. "When you've lived as long as I have, served as long as I have, you come to know a great many people. Among all of those... you are rare soul indeed, Barbara. Surely one to celebrate and to venerate."
That gave her pause. What are you supposed to say to something like that? She didn't know, so she let the silence stretch and turned her gaze to the traffic speeding past her window while her true focus turned to beating down the bloom of color that had flooded her cheeks at Alfred's unexpected pronouncement.
They rode in silence--not an uncomfortable silence, but Barbara still felt the weight of those words still hanging heavy between them--for the rest of the drive. They'd caught the lull between the lunch-hour jam and afternoon rush-hour traffic--likely a strategic choice on Alfred's part--so it only took about twenty minutes to make the trip into the city.
Alfred graciously helped her disembark, escorted her to the ground level door to the tower, and--to her surprise--asked to walk her in, pulling a cooler bag from somewhere with leftovers from the revelries. Barbara invited him in, sending him ahead of her with repeated thanks, but the words of appreciation died in her throat as she rolled over the threshold and took in the interior of her homebase.
She wasn't a slob, per se, but Barbara knew she didn't tidy up around the Tower quite as often as she should, and she cleaned the place even less frequently. It was a lot of real estate for one person--a person with certain mobility issues, at that--and a small army of specially programmed Roombas and some casual dusting here and there could only do so much.
But today, her foyer was spotless. All the coats, umbrellas and other detritus were neatly hung or stacked in their places. The tile was a shade lighter than she remembered and the grout was actually white--she'd actually thought it was tan up until now.
Moving into her apartment showed the same story. Shelves of books and knick-knacks were freshly dusted, the rugs had been deeply vaccuumed, and personal items had been put away or neatly arranged. Every surface gleamed.
She turned to Alfred with an accusing look. "Alfred... did you...?" One look at his quietly pleased expression was answer enough. "When did you even find the time to come over here and do this? Did you clean the whole Tower?" She wouldn't doubt it. She didn't bother to ask him how he got into her super-secure, high-tech lair--this is the ex-MI6 agent who raised Bruce, after all--but given the timeline of events, it shouldn't have been possible for him to clean all this by himself and do everything he did for them while she was at the manor.
"We did, in fact, clean the entire tower--and we took great care not to disturb any of your things in the command center, mind you--but it hardly took any time at all with Masters Damian and Timothy along to help. In fact, we were in and out well before you rose from your nap this morning."
Barbara's eyebrow rose into her hair. Alfred had wrangled Tim and Damian--in the morning, of all times--into cleaning? Together? Without killing each other?
"Wow, Alfred, you got Tim and Damian to work together to do all of this...? At eight in the morning? You're a miracle worker, for sure. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.
"Really, Alfred...this--" she gestured to rooms around them "--the party, the sleepover, and then breakfast... you've done so much. Thank you. It means a lot to me, but, really, you didn't need to do all this. It's... it’s too much..."
Alfred looked away for a moment, his expression uncharacteristically sheepish. "Ah, well. Yes. I admit, I may have gone a bit overboard..."
They entered the kitchen and Barbara came to a complete stop. The appliances shone, the stove was spotless, and, for once, the sink was completely free of dishes. But that wasn't what stopped her dead in her tracks.
On the polished kitchen table, laid out elegantly on a freshly washed and pressed table cloth that Barbara had forgotten she even owned, was a handsome tea set in lustrous lavender and gold--one pot, saucers, cups, sugar cellar and creamer. To one side sat a few varieties of Alfred's favorite teas, and on the other a plate piled high with Alfred’s signature tea cakes, one of her favorite things about visiting the manor for pre-patrol briefings or post-patrol debriefings, back in the day. A recipe card stuck out under the plate.
Barbara turned to Alfred, her vision going misty. "Alfred..."
Alfred graced her with a rare smile, beaming down at her, his expression fond, but his voice was quiet, "For when you need a break from Master Tim's gift of espresso or a moment of peace after along night."
Barbara broke out into a teary smile of her own and raised her arms, reaching out for a hug before she thought it through. Alfred surprised her yet again, leaning down to accept her embrace.
"Really, thank you, Alfred. For everything," Barbara murmured into his shoulder before he could pull away again.
He didn't. Instead, he replied, so quietly Barbara almost missed it,
"Anything for one of my favorite granddaughters."
#my writing#mine#christmasriverswrites#barbara gordon#happy birthday babs#babs and alfred#real life might have killed the rest of my writing ambitions and all of my time to participate in fandom but this series lives on!#this is the sloppiest thing I've ever posted. editing? what's that?
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Castletown Café Episode 28: Butler Juice (Red)
Butler juice comes in different colors, flavor changing with temperature. This flavor was a long time coming and is perfect for the holiday season. It’s a combination of pomegranate with cranberry and mulled with spices, best served warm. Enjoy plain, or if you want to make it an adult beverage, with spiced rum (or even mull with a sweet red wine). Glass cocktail mugs are perfect to serve it in, even if serving alcohol-free, and is a warm cup of holiday cheer. It’s sweet, spicy, but with the addition of a little tartness.
The recipe is similar to the one I did for orange Butler Juice, with cinnamon sticks, star anise, cloves, a sliced orange and allspice berries, minus the ginger.
BUTLER JUICE (RED):
24 oz plain pomegranate juice (look closely at the bottles to make sure it’s not mixed with another juice flavor)
8-12 oz cranberry juice (or cherry if you’d rather, again, look closely at the bottles)!
3 cinnamon sticks
8 allspice berries
2 small star anise pods
10 whole cloves
1 large, whole sliced orange
Pour in juices in a medium to large pot and add the spices and orange.
Bring to a simmer on medium-low heat, then reduce the heat to low and cover. Let the drink mull together for an hour or two.
Ladle into a cocktail mug and serve, strain the juice into a container to store leftovers.
Enjoy your time off from work or school, and have a happy New Year!
#castletown cafe#christmas#happy holidays#butler juice recipe#butler juice#swatchling oc#swatchlings fanart#swatchlings#deltarune food#deltarune inspired recipe#festive#my art
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*blows dust off the blog*
Hi, folks. It’s been . . . a while. The past several years have seen me falling on some pretty rough times (COVID, money issues, issues with my living situation, other health stuff to deal with, etc etc). Thus my absense.
The good news is, things are starting to stabalize a lot more for me, finally! However, in the meantime, there has been another blog that has taken on the task of making excellent recipes for Deltarune foods and drinks. The blog is @castletown-cafe
As such, it seems as though it would be rather difficult to compete with such a talented blog. 😅 There are a couple of Deltarune recipes that people have submitted here, so I will definitely be testing, photographing (if needed) & publishing those because they deserve to see the light of day! And I am sure everyone will very much appreciate these submissions. But after that, well, it may be time for me to hang up the tea towel on this project, as it were.
I’ve enjoyed this project so much over the years and it’s been so exciting to test out the creative recipes you’ve all come up with, as well as devise some of my own. It’s also an absolute joy to have been a part of such a fun, welcoming community. And I am super excited to personally start trying out some of the gorgeous recipes from @castletown-cafe because they look amazing! I strongly encourage everyone else to check them out too, and I’ll be reblogging them over time.
So stay tuned for the final few recipes that this blog will publish (Revive Mint Tea, Butler Juice & Butler Tea, and Hot Chocolate). I will also continue to reblog any fun recipes I can find related to the Undertale & Deltarune universe.
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Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail
“Mr. Butler brought a tray of drinks into the garden. Flossie squeaked her pleasure at renewing their acquaintance and he unbent far enough to pat her trunk. ‘A refreshing cocktail, Miss Fisher,’ he said. ‘In view of the day we have all had.’ Phryne sipped. ‘Oh, lovely,’ she said. It tasted of cherries. A bubbly, delicate, utterly refreshing mouthful of spring.”
It may not be Springtime up here (in the Northern hemisphere), but I’ve fancied trying my hand at Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail since re-reading Queen of the Flowers, last month. And, I did spend the day in the (elephant-less!) garden. I was not lounging, but planting tulip, iris and allium bulbs, repotting house plants, wintering the peonies and trimming the rhododendron got me warm enough that I wanted to sip a nice, chill cocktail once the work was done! I did not made the long drink version, though; I keep that one for Spring!
Ingredients (serves 1):
8 ice cubes
30 millilitres/1 fluid ounce (2 tablespoons) cherry brandy
30 millilitres/1 fluid ounce (2 tablespoons) good quality Gin
1/2 lemon
a teaspoon Cointreau
a teaspoon Honey Syrup
Fill a shaker with ice cubes. Pour in cherry brandy and Gin. Squeeze in the juice of the lemon halve, and add Cointreau and Honey Syrup. Close tightly, and shake energetically until well-chilled.
Strain into a coupe or cocktail glass.
Enjoy Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail immediately, whilst reading a murder mystery perhaps...
#Recipe#Drink#Drink recipe#Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail#Mr. Butler’s Refreshing Cocktail recipe#Cocktail#Cocktail recipe#Gin#London Dry Gin#Cherry Brandy#Lemon Juice#Fresh Lemon Juice#Cointreau#Orange Liqueur#Honey Syrup#Gin Cocktail#Gin Cocktail recipe#Cold Drink and Cocktail#Alcoholic#Alcoholic Drink#Alcoholic Beverage#Happy Hour#Happy Hour Saturday#Drink and Literature#Phryne Fisher Cookbook#Mr. Butler#Phryne Fisher#Miss Fisher#Queen of the Flowers#Kerry Greenwood
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[L&N] Seeking Sweetness Workshop Event (Assorted)
Prologue: here
Flipping through the cookbook on the table, the various desserts are a feast for the eyes.
Is he really able to make all of these desserts? I feel a little skeptical.
Charlie rolls up his sleeves at the side, appearing confident.
Charlie: In order to celebrate my role as my fiancée’s dessert teacher, I must first showcase my superb culinary skills when it comes to making desserts. Fiancée, what would you like to eat?
Option 1: Bear Bun
Option 2: Cream Cheese Pie
Option 3: Tiramisu
Option 4: Warm red wine
[ Option 1: Bear Bun ]
MC: This bear looks really adorable!
To my surprise, Charlie’s looks a little embarrassed.
Charlie: Although I could be considered capable and deft, I’ll need some time to create such a complex image.
Charlie tries his best to copy the picture of the bear as he pinches the dough, but he doesn’t seem very successful...
[ Little Bear Bun ]
Hey, it’s a little bear! Although it appears somewhat simple, it looks like it’ll taste pretty good.
Charlie: How do you find it? Isn’t the perfect dessert your fiancée personally created breathtaking?
[ Option 2: Cream Cheese Pie ]
I direct Charlie to look at the page featuring cream cheese pies.
The moment he glances at it, Charlie displays his usual confident smile.
Charlie: Yes, my lady.
He nods seriously. When he busies himself in front of the cooking counter, he looks like a magician who is ready to showcase his skills.
[ Cream cheese pie ]
When the cream and cheese meet, you’re able to enjoy the silky smooth fragrance of milk to your heart’s content.
[ Option 3: Tiramisu ]
Charlie: Oh? Tiramisu means...
MC: Don’t say anything! It won’t come true if you say it.
I immediately stop him. Symbolisms are akin to wishes - they lose their effectiveness once they are spoken aloud.
Charlie: Your fiancé feels happy to be able to feel your love no matter where we are.
[ Tiramisu ]
Occasionally bitter and occasionally sweet. WIth a single scoop, taste the innumerable flavours of love.
[ Option 4: Warm Red Wine ]
Charlie furrows his brows slightly.
Charlie: Erm... it’s a shame that my butler didn’t prepare red wine. How about this - I’ll prepare a special Charlie drink for my fiancée.
Charlie gets up confidently, then begins searching for the ingredients.
[ Grape Juice ]
Upon careful tasting, I can feel the fruit pulp while drinking this icy, invigorating and savoury red grape juice.
More recipes:
✧ Sponge Pudding
✧ Cake
✧ Gorgeous Sweet Dreams (recommended to read this last)
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Damian needs help - Super Sons
"After pacing in his room for a while, Damian came to the painful conclusion that he’d need help. Unfortunately, the only people who could offer him said help were... For lack of a better term, irritating. Still, he swallowed his pride and went hunting for the three men he lovingly calls brothers."
Or: Damian asks his brothers how were they able to turn their friendships into romances, because he wants to do the same.
Word count: 1971
Link for it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812319
Or read it below the cut!
After pacing in his room for a while, Damian came to the painful conclusion that he’d need help. Unfortunately, the only people who could offer him said help were... For lack of a better term, irritating. Still, he swallowed his pride and went hunting for the three men he lovingly calls brothers, finding all of them in the cave. Dick was exercising his acrobat skills, Tim was mindlessly kicking the crap out of a punching bag, looking bored, and Jason cleaned his guns while humming “Highway to Hell”.
“I need your help.” He exclaimed, from the top of the stairs. All of them immediately stopped what they were doing. Jason seemed amused, Dick seemed worried and Tim seemed... incredulous.
“You... What?” He asked, stilling the bag.
“I need your help.” He repeated, frowning.
“Something bad happened Dames?” Dick inquired, carefully.
“What? No.” Damian shook his head and climbed down. Dick picked up a towel to remove the sweat from his hair and face, then hanged it around his neck. Jason reassembled his weapons, watching from a safe distance while the rest of them got closer to the boy “I need your help because... I...” His voice became an inaudible mumbe.
“Because what?” Tim inquired.
“Because I want to ask...” Once again, his words became mushed up, hurried and quiet. Dick raised an eyebrow and smirked.
“What?” The teen insisted.
“It’s about Jon, isn’t it?” Dick stated. Damian scowled and nodded.
“What? How did you know that?” Tim stepped in.
“That’s not the point, Drake.” Damian interrupted “I need to ask him out.”
“And what do you need us to do?” Dick asked, reaching for the water bottle on his table.
“I need advice. You have been in situations very similar to mine, and you had a good outcome. How can I achieve that with Jon?”
“I don’t know man, just ask him out.” Tim said, headed back to his punching bag “It’s not like Jon would ever be mean to anyone. Even if you yourself are the incarnation of mean.”
“-tt-.” Damian rolled his eyes “Grayson, what did you do to get West?” He inquired.
“Well, I guess that at first we had like, a bromance, right?”
“Yes. And then what?”
“Then we slept together.” He shrugged. However, as soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them, straightening his posture “But, uhm, maybe that’s not the best advice for you to follow.”
“I figured that out on my own.” He scowled in disgust. Damian turned to Tim. He was also with a super, so he’d probably be of use to Damian now “What about you, Drake? How did you get the clone?”
“Actually,” He gave a high kick to the bag “Kon was the one who asked me out.”
“And why did you say yes?” He twisted his nose.
“Uh, because I wanted to?” Tim responded, an implied ‘obviously’ in his tone “Anyways, I don’t think I can help you so much in that department. Hey, Jason,” He said “You should be able to help. What did you do to be with Roy?”
“What?” The man answered “Me and Roy aren’t together.”
“Really?” Tim laughed “Then why do you always cuddle when you’re watching a movie together?”
“And why is he always lingering around in the manor?” Damian asked, crossed arms.
“And didn’t you two went out together the other night?” Dick chimed in, biting the end of his bottle.
“We went to a bar, that’s normal.”
“Yeah, except for the fact that I accidentally caught you two in the middle of a heavy makeout session when you came back.” Dick shot back.
“Consider yourself lucky.” Tim said “I caught them doing worse.”
“It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything.” Jason explained.
“Have you been with anyone else lately?” Dick smirked as the other glared at him “Well, he hasn’t either.”
“He...? Wait.” Jason stopped for a second “Shit. Shit. I need to call Roy.” He rushed out of the cave, picking up his cellphone.
Tim chuckled.
“Ugh, clearly, the three of you are useless. As usual.” Damian scowled.
“Oh, c’mon Little D.” Dick said, ruffling his hair “We’re not useless. You’re the one expecting something that doesn’t exist.”
“And what would that be?” He groaned, setting his hair back in order.
“A formula. There’s no such thing as a recipe when it comes to romance. You just have to try whatever feels right.”
“Nothing feels right.” He complained, throwing his small body in a chair.
“That’s because you’re nervous.” Dick pointed out “Just... Ask him if he’d want to go out and have some ice cream this weekend. Then see what happens.”
“This seems like an awfully unprepared date.”
“It doesn’t have to be elaborate Damian.” Dick rolled his eyes.
“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, still torturing the poor bag “I mean, Jon’s a farm boy and he’s the literal personification of sunshine. You could probably take him to a convenience store on a first date and he’d be excited about it.” Damian groaned.
“Fine, I’ll consider it.” Damian said.
Jason ran into the cave in an euphoric state, practically falling down the stairs.
“Guys!” He yelled “Guys you were right! We’re together now! He really is my boyfriend!”
Damian scowled in disgust while Tim and Dick laughed. The boy pushed his brother out of the way as he went back up into the manor, knowing what he had to do, as unpleasant as it might be. He made his way into the ballroom, where Alfred coordinated the cleaning for the incoming gala. Getting the room ready always took at least three days; the butler was a perfectionist.
“Alfred.” He called “I require some assistance.” The man seemed surprise. He nodded, turning his attention to a blushing Damian “Say I intended to ask someone on a date.” His face got redder with each word “What... Where should I take said person?”
“Well, master Damian,” Alfred started “That depends. Who is this girl we’re talking about?”
“Not a girl.” He couldn’t keep eye contact.
“Oh. Then who is this boy we’re thinking of?” Damian couldn’t answer “Is it safe to assume we’re talking about young master Jon?” He shoved his face in his hands and nodded “Very well then.” Alfred had the faintest of smiles on his face “Might I suggest a picnic sir?” Damian peeked through his fingers “I can arrange a meal to be eaten in the garden.” He removed his hands from his face, placing them on his chin.
“Maybe. But I have a better idea.”
...
Damian paced on the roof when he saw a blue blur coming in his direction. He smiled. Jon landed next to him, Superboy outfit on.
“Hey D.” He greeted, smiling “Why aren’t you wearing your costume?”
“They’re not...” He bit his tongue “Wait. What did the clone tell you?”
“Kon told me that Tim told him that you asked him to tell Kon to tell me that you’d be waiting in the roof for me tonight.” Jon tilted his head a little “Why?”
“Did that idiot tell you why I’d be waiting in the roof?” Damian was fuming. He wished he had simply asked Jon himself.
“No? I assumed it was hero stuff.” He looked past him. There was a picnic basket and a checkered red tablecloth set on the ground “Oh.” He blushed.
“Yeah. Oh.” Damian said, huffing “Stupid clone. You should leave. I won’t force you to...”
“No! No, it’s a good kind of ‘oh’.” Jon extended his hands, stopping Damian “I... Liked it. I just wish I had a better outfit on.”
“Well,” Damian shifted his weight from one leg to the other “In that case, maybe we should sit.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Jon swallowed, unsure on how to act. Damian pulled out the food Alfred had prepared for them.
“I, uhm, I asked Alfred to make these.” He placed two sandwiches in front of them “They’re chickpeas ‘tuna’ sandwiches. If you don’t like them, I’m certain Alfred would be happy to make you something else.”
“I’ve never had those before,” Jon said, examining it “They seem good.”
“They are.” Damian watched as Jon bit into his sandwich, hopeful.
“Hum.” He exclaimed, mouth full “I like it.” Damian let out a breath. He pulled out two glass bottles.
“Orange juice?”
“Yes, please.” Jon took one from his hands.
They ate quietly. Damian noticed how Jon’s blue eyes looked beautiful under the moonlight, how his hair framed his face perfectly when it was ruffled up by the wind, how his smile still knocked the breath out of his lungs, no matter how many times he’s seen it before. Jon stared at the stars.
“This is so nice.” He said “It’s been so long since I last saw them this bright. The lights in metropolis get in the way.” Damian looked up “I thought they’d get in the way here too, but I guess that the manor is far enough from the city that it doesn’t.” He sighed “It makes me miss Hamilton.”
Damnit. Damian planned this so carefully. How could he have missed something so obvious? Now Jon was sad, and it was his fault. He should’ve just taken him for stupid ice cream.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said, head low.
“Upset me?” Jon asked “You didn’t upset me. This is perfect, D.”
“But you just said...?”
“That it makes me miss Hamilton? That’s not a bad thing.” Jon smiled, biting his sandwich again “It means that you gave me back something I thought I had lost for good after I moved.” He inched a hand closer to Damian’s. He retributed the movement, fingers touching slightly. None of them wanted to pull away.
Once they were done eating, Damian reached into the basket again, pulling out...
“Cookies!” Jon excitedly pointed out. Damian smirked.
“I knew you’d like them.” Jon fished one out of the bag.
“Oh, they’re still warm!” He nearly moaned as he bit into one of them “These are so good.”
“I’ll let Alfred know you appreciated them.” Damian watched his satisfied munching.
“Mmm, please do!” He licked his lips, getting the crumbs away from them and into his mouth. Damian swallowed.
Jon ate the cookies at record speed, and now they were both laying on the roof in silence, looking up at the sky. It was a warm night and the full moon was as bright as it could be, lighting up the distant Gotham streets.
“Now what?” Jon nearly whispered.
“You have your suit. I could put on my suit and we could patrol in Gotham tonight.” Damian said, eyes fixed on the sky “Or we could stay here.”
“I like the second option better.” He answered, pushing himself up. He floated over Damian, blue eyes piercing through his soul. Damian reached up, setting a hand behind Jon’s neck, playing with the hair growing there, slowly bringing him down into a kiss. They closed their eyes for a second, lips pressed together until Damian pulled away.
“Was it... Good?” He whispered.
“Yeah.” Jon answered “Can I land on top of you?” Damian nodded. Jon laid down again, tangling their legs together, supporting his head on the other’s chest “This feels like a dream.” His voice was almost inaudible.
“Tell me about it.” Damian’s hand moved to comb through his hair gently, voice nothing but a whisper. Jon made an approving hum and he smiled.
“I’ve wanted this for so long.”
“Me too.”
“I guess we’re both idiots then, huh?” Jon looked up at him “Waisting our time bickering when we could’ve just... Said it.”
Damian swallowed.
“This is the only time you’re ever allowed to call me an idiot.” He wanted to scowl, but he grinned instead. Jon chuckled.
“Okay. Please don’t stop playing with my hair.”
“I won’t.”
#batman bingo 2020#batman bingo#Damian Wayne#Damian wayne x jon kent#jonathan kent#jon kent#damijon#super sons#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#batfamily#batfam#batbros#batboys#Batbrothers#fluff#first kiss#first date#cute#picnic#fanfic#fanfiction#writing#i am actually really sorry that i didn't include duke in this#i just didnt know how to
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