#but. until then maybe episode one will always be my maybe
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boneyspades · 3 days ago
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RANKING ALL REMUS'S EYESHADOW/MAKEUP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SERIES
part 2
best read the first part →here←
like before, this is just for funsies and it's not a criticism thing or to attack ppl with different opinions
#9
"The sides need a nice day"
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kinda hard to see at times
he running around like a loon
I mean all of the essentials r there
the dark purp
the dark in general
THE UNDER EYES???
very good very nice
#8
"If Wes Anderson directed the Sanders Sides"
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I like this one alot:)
DAPPERRRR
basically the same as #9
very good very nice
extra dapper points
careful with the knife there, Remus
#7
"Spirit Christmas"
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no one could make me hate U, OogyBoogy!Remus
LIKE LOOK AT HIM :D
he kinda looks silly with the sack over his head but it's cosplay
I LOVE THIS MAKEUP LIKE FR
at first I didn't know what the things were on the side of his head were until I like... zoomed in and put the pieces together
then I was like "ooooh those r bugs. neat"
EXTRA WHITE FOUNDATION POINTS RAAAAAH
I wanna recreate this makeup some day
#6
"5 year anniversary"
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ah, a classic Remus
not really much to say
its got all the essentials
very very nice :)
y bro winkin at me 😏
#5
"Are there any healthy distractions"
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hell fucking yeah
"I sleep in the BUFF"
I always thought he said "bath" for some reason
I MEAN WHO DOESNT LOVE THIS EPISODE
yeah not really much to say. I just like it alot
all the essentials
#4
"Incorrect quotes Vol 1"
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I LOVE THIS ONE OMG
LOOK AT HIMMMMM
THE WING? CAN YALL SEE THE WING????
YEAAAAAAASSS
MWAH MWAH
#3
"Dealing with Intrusive thoughts"
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THE CLASSICCCCC
THE OG
YES
I love it and I love him
Pookie <3
#2
"Incorrect quotes Vol 5"
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THE WHITE FOUNDATION.
ITS SO PERFECT FOR HIM
please... please Thomas.. please let him and virgil have It. they goth and emo af
I think if the eyeshadow was maybe JUST A TAD bit darker than this could be number 1
I love him
white foundation.
I'm a goth, what can I say
I'm a sucker for white foundation
🖤#1🖤
"Working through intrusive thoughts"
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ok this MIGHT be a bit biased since this is my favourite episode thus far
OMG WHAT TO UNPACK
it's got DARK
it's GOT THE OUPLE
THE UNDER EYES
ITS ALL THERE
bonus points cus this is probably the most accurate representation (besides DWIT) of Remus and intrusive thoughts in my opinion
like CMON!
uhhh... thank you
*drops mic*
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blueaprondelight · 2 days ago
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honestly, i need the bear to get syd and carmy together in season 4 because i feel like its the right time.
cue another mae rant (with my guess on how they’d write sydcarm getting together or whatever the fuck their ship name is)
like, rewatching season 3, its clear why they didn’t put them together to me and i can appreciate that!
carmen was struggling with what happened with claire, richie, hell even sydney herself. he let his priorities get shifted - and i think after the table scene, that became clear. but he couldn’t admit it until he was fully by himself-
which, can we just appreciate the freezer scene? like carmen needed to be completely alone. not “alone” with people always able to be around him, but truly alone to realize what was happening. listening to the chaos outside maybe helped as well, as it forced him to admit he was helpless in more than one way.
but, back to my point: they weren’t good in season 3. respect!
but season 4?? this could be THEIR season. here’s how i imagine they’d get them together:
syd tells carm about the job offer she got. she tells him it wasn’t a poaching but it’s an opportunity.
he’d ask if she’s thinking of taking it. but her response isn’t what he thinks: no. “should i be?” — a reference to everything he’d done that season with the constant fighting with richie, the obvious tension in their workplace, the nonnegotiables that made things harder. it was clear when she had to tell him to calm down that she was tired.
that keeps him up that night. should she be thinking of it?
and he can’t say she shouldn’t be. he’d been awful to her - as a boss / co-worker / mentor but also as a friend. it was clear with the table scene (IT ALWAYS GOES BACK TO THAT), he at least somewhat realized bringing claire into the big decisions instead of sydney was a mistake. HE ADMITTED THAT!!
he knows it’s a good opportunity, he knows it could be what she wants— but then, he slowly realizes. he wasn’t upset at the idea of her taking the job. he was scared at the idea of losing her completely. her taking the job didn’t guarantee she’d stay in his life- why should she?
and another question: would he react if it was anyone else telling him this? like nat saying she got another opportunity instead of being the project manager / whatever her other role is there that i cant think of the name of (co-runner, idfk)
and like a goddamn freight train, it hits him and runs him over. he wouldn’t because they aren’t syd. they aren’t the person he goes to for everything- the one he’s scared of disappointing the most.
it would be a slow realization over the course of an episode before at the end, he comes to learn that, one way or another - whether it be her talking about leaving or some big fight that he feels fucking terrible for-
he is in love with her.
now as for syd, i dunno how they’d write that. i think in season 3 with claire and carmy’s storyline, we saw her be jealous. maybe jealous over how close they were, maybe jealous over him picking her.
i’ll come up with something for her and get back to yall. k thanks thats it bye
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justafanofwhatever · 9 hours ago
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Jayvik pt 2 <3
Because I night of sleep gave me a few new ideas. (And because I just love writing about them) This is basically the part 2 of the fic I wrote yesterday<3
For those who haven't seen part 1:
Context: This is basically imagining if Jayce and Viktor got in a relationship at some point during the time skip between episode 3 and 4.
I'm pretty sure Viktor never had a lot of affection in his life, while on the other hand Jayce seems like an absolute teddy bear, especially if he's in a relationship.
So this is a little collection of moments I imagined of Jayce being sweet/worried, with a confused/flustered Viktor in response of it, because he's not used to it. (Honestly he probably would never get used to it, but at some point he'd most likely have less reaction, so I imagine this being more at the start of their relation)
Notes
Jayce isn't the best of writers, but he'll always leave a note to his Viktor. Might just be a small "Love you, V" or "Miss you, see you soon", coming along with a bouquet of flowers or a lunch he decided to give Viktor, knowing he probably would forget to eat if he wasn't given said lunch straight in his face.
So Jayce took a break from research to go take his lunch, something he almost forget to do himself at times. He made two sandwiches, with the intention to eat them both, but he thought back about how Viktor said that he probably wouldn't eat when Jayce asked him to accompany him.
So he took the second sandwich and place it in a plate, then took the nearest napkin and took out a pen he always keep in his pocket while working in the lab and simply wrote: "Don't forget to eat, V. Love you". He looked at it and nodded to himself, placing the napkin next to the sandwich on the plate.
Jayce went back to the lab and placed the plate next to Viktor, placing a hand on his shoulder at the same time. Viktor looked over at Jayce then down to the plate, smiling a little, especially as he saw the text written on the napkin. He just placed his hand over his lover's and accepted the meal.
Nicknames
Viktor was his name and nobody ever called him any other way (at the exception of Heimerdinger calling "my boy" but that he did it with any boy of the academy) not Vik, not V and certainly not "darling" or "love", that is, until he met Jayce. Usually it was just "Vik" or "V", but today was different.
Jayce was in another clingy phase, where he was feeling very affectionate and he always wanted to keep his hands on Viktor one way or another, but he knew his lover wasn't that much of a fan of always being glued together, so he kept himself. But if he wouldn't be affectionate physically, then he'd be affectionate in other ways. He'd speak more softly and let the few touches and kisses be even more tender than usual. He'd encourage Viktor even more (as if he wasn't doing it enough already), he'd help him more for mundane tasks and also... Maybe give him a few affective nicknames.
It came out naturally, honestly, just asking something to Viktor and responding by "thanks, love". It surprised Viktor, but he didn't spoke, only looked at Jayce with a raised eyebrow before shrugging and going back to whatever he was doing.
The second time came just as naturally too, but not less surprising to Viktor, so he said:
Viktor - "You're being awfully affectionate lately, Jayce"
Jayce - "Does it bother?"
Viktor - "No, just surprising"
Jayce smiled and answered - "Then maybe I should do it more often"
Viktor got a little surprised but after a second he smiled and answered:
Viktor - "Maybe you should"
Comforting words
Viktor has always been used to just suck it up when he had a problem. He'd close in on himself and mentally beat himself up if he thought something was wrong, but always in silence, in the dead of the night or in an isolated place.
But Jayce wasn't all that stupid either, he knew how much Viktor was hard on himself and he always wanted to try and cheer him up. He tried always being positive and searching for ideas to show Viktor how much he mattered.
So one day after work, he decided he'd stay with Viktor in the lab instead of going back home immediately. He took a chair and sat down next to him, gently placing his hand on Viktor's. The other man looked at him and saw his eyes looking at him with a mixture of sadness and worry. He expected to get another small lecture about how he should eat and sleep more, take better care of himself, but instead Jayce spoke softly and said:
Jayce - "V... You know how much I admire you, right?"
Viktor, a bit surprised - "Where is this coming from, Jayce?"
Jayce sighed and placed his other hand on his lover's back.
Jayce - "I just... I feel like I haven't told you enough. You work so hard on hextech and you create miracles. You made my life so much more beautiful... I- I know that sometimes I annoy you with how much I worry, and I know sometimes I worry too much, but it's only because I worry so much for you."
Jayce looked down to their hands, that we're holding each other's and sighed once again taking his hand off Viktor's and layed his head on his lover's shoulder. At that Viktor looked down for a second before lifting his arm and gently caressing Jayce's shoulder.
Viktor - "You know Jayce, sometimes I wonder if you're not exaggerating to make me feel better"
Jayce - "No need, trust me."
He stood up a bit in his chair, wrapping his arms around Viktor, who embraced him back. He caressed his back and kissed him softly before pulling away, still keeping his hands on Viktor's shoulders and saying:
Jayce - "You always make me feel stronger, bolder, like I could conquer the world if I wanted to... And I honestly don't even truly know how to thank you for all of this... So let me just tell you how much I care for you, would you?"
Viktor smiled once again and rested his head on Jayce's shoulder at his turn.
Viktor - "I think I can do that"
Ps: English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if a few sentences seem a bit weird.
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the-writer-mao · 1 day ago
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Prediction Time (potential spoilers below)
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My understanding is that Boonboomger’s director is known for their Full Circle tropes- (Very appropriate when you think of a wheel/tire metaphor). This wedding will definitely be crashed just like Taiya crashed Mira’s in the first episode. Though I don’t think it’ll just be Taiya alone and here’s why:
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If Mira wears this ring, the Hashiriyans will probably use her as the baseline of mind control over Japan, and eventually the world. Or they might start by capitalizing control over the entire Boonboomger team.
The team has to be warned of this- who better yet to get this information than..
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Blue boy informant himself
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Mira hands her Handle changer to Ishiro (dropping Chasshiro until this guy smiles 😭). We won’t know yet if Mira consulted with Taiya and the others before this, or if she sought out Ishiro out of her own volition.
It did seem like from the previews and the official account, that Mira is deciding on her own though 🤔
“And the last thing Mira holds is the handle... 🏁”
Mira is holding the flag at the finish line, so hopefully she will end this. She’s the only one who’s appeared in the opening the entire time- a lot of this series was her POV story.
I predict she’s ultimately trusting Ishiro by giving him her changer. Maybe it’s also a way of Mira telling him that this is his last chance, but I’m sure he’s been scheming to help the team the entire time. He’s going to help stop the wedding cause how else would she be able to transform in the chapel?
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I’m limited for pics but the behind-the-scenes revealed that Ishiro and Taiya have always been communicating with their eyes. Taiya has to know Ishiro’s alternative motives. I will be extremely impressed otherwise if they drag out Ishiro’s betrayal longer, only way I’d see that is through a V-Cinema, but that’d be crazy.
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unforgivable-thatswhatiam · 12 hours ago
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Aziraphale intentionally "summons" Crowley with his trouble, isn't that so? I'm quite sure it's simply because he misses him, though, and their mutual feelings allow them to find each other and sense when the other is in danger (💕). After all, eight years is a long time between un unofficial and an official opening (1793-1800), and C. tells he already knows that A. is opening a bookshop. This suggests he's been kept up to date: who knows, maybe C. occasionally visits A.'s home (the angel has owned the land since the 17th century) and they discuss friendly.
I think you are right, Paris 1793 is a turning point in their story: until then, it really seems like their meetings were strictly 'technically' tied to the Arrangement, perhaps out of fear of outside interference or rejection - especially if they hadn't really understood their feelings yet (Azi is SO happy to see Crowley and to be rescued, even if he seems to me way too confident about it and C. perfectly understands this subtext… 😉).
The deleted scene is canon, because NG confirmed it; the scene was cut, but it remains in the script. It seems contradictory, but I don't think it is, actually. In the scene, Gabriel and Sandalphon want to take Aziraphale back to heaven as a reward for his success on Earth; so, to make them believe that the angel is the only one that can succeed against him, Crowley goes where they can hear him and says:
"If only I could understand why my evil plans are always so brilliantly thwarted. It's as if the forces of Heaven have a champion here on Earth who thwarts me... thwartingly...".
Then he pretends that one of his minions replies:
"(...) the angel Aziraphale, your nemesis, is being sent back to Heaven."
In this way, Crowley makes the angels think he's aware that it's all Aziraphale's fault if his plans are thwarted, but at the same time he doesn't seems to know at all his nemesis.
4. As a bonus point, it follows my personal opinion about Gabriel's line in s1e1. As you wrote, G. says: "It's a miracle hasn't spotted you yet". However, I think that Gabriel is self-centered and unpleasant, but he isn't a complete fool: Crowley was important, in heaven - a throne, as I think, or a dominion or above - and he has a recognizable appearance; Saraqael remembers Crowley from their working time on Nebula, in s2 (6000+ years after the Fall); Gabriel was the supreme archangel of all heaven by the time of Job's minisode (2500 a.C., less than 2000 years after the Fall), and he could easily recognize C., while Michael seems to be suspicious of Bildad the Shuhite; he doesn't seem surprised when Michael shows him the photo-evidence of contacts between A. and C., but suggests that there would be a perfectly normal explanation to this.
If you remember, when in s1e2 Gabriel and Sandalphon go to the bookshop, Sandalphon - the implacable angel that has destroyed Sodoma and killed its inhabitants for their sodomy, aka the 'sin' of homosexual behaviour/intercourses - says that "something smells evil" (his evil=homosexuality, and we can image who is guilty); in the meantime, Gabriel deflects Sandalphon's attention in multiple ways. It could be Sandalphon himself that "hasn't spotted" them ("you") yet in the scene of episode 1. I don't exclude that either in 1800 G. wanted to take Aziraphale back (safe) because of concerns - his? Sandalphon's? - about A.'s relationship with the demon: heaven may have given to A. a medal, but actually none there seem to truly appreciate him or believe he has done a good job; they criticize indeed him more than once for being soft, for having been on Earth too long, etc.
To summarize, I think that in episode 1 Gabriel was pretending ignorance with Aziraphale. As a boss like him, it makes sense to pretend he didn't know the extent of A.+C.'s interactions, even if he was aware of some of it. He wasn't particularly concerned about it, until the work was done. Nonetheless, in the end of s1 Aziraphale disobeyed orders, averted an apocalypse with his "boyfriend in the dark glasses" (quote from s1e4, with the return of Sandalphon, threating and smiting A.) and C+A's relationship has thwarted heaven's plan. At that point, Gabriel had to do his job and "to make exemple of" the traitor: he was upset, but it wasn't a personal decision to punish Aziraphale; if he didn't do it, he himself could have been involved in the treason, lost his position and punished in the same way). Until then, however, he didn't want to go too far with Aziraphale.
A lot to read, sorry... I love so much GO ❤️
So, I have no idea when Aziraphale actually opens his bookshop, but I have a thought that I really really like:
Paris, 1793. Crowley says that angel "was opening a bookshop". He knows about it but haven't seen it or been there, it's been a work in progress for some time now.
Weell, my thought is... Aziraphale intentionally "summons" Crowley with his trouble in order to invite him for the opening or (which is better) to have their own unofficial opening. Just for themselves.
At this point they already arrange meetings (eg. Shakespear's theatre), but only if it has something to do with the Arrangement and work stuff. Looking for a simple dinner and showing a bookshop without a reason would feel strange and awkward: they're still adjusting to their friendship and mostly hold on to the Arrangement. Despite the fact that they both clearly enjoy each other's company, there are still many barriers in their communication, including the fear of outside interference and witnesses.
And Aziraphale takes the first step in 1793. He uses their arrangement as well ("land a hand when needed"), and god he is SO happy to see that Crowely actually comes to rescue him!! It's just an excuse to buy him lunch (for the record: the best french crepes, he has chosen the place to celebrate the event, hasn't he?)
Would be just nice and fine to go back to England together and... well, have a look at the bookshop, wouldn't it? Or at least Aziraphale could give Crowely a formal invitation on when he should visit his newly established bookshop.
The bookshop, the sign of which invitingly displays "A.Z. Fell & Co".
Update: I've found a deleted scene about the opening in 1800. WELL, it could mean that Crowely was invited indeed, but... I honestly don't see this scene as a part of canon, it has been cut after all. Mostly I think it's not canon 'cause the dialog between angels here kinda conradicts the stated in s1e1 "It's a miracle [Crowley] hasn't spotted you yet".
So yeah, untill proven wrong in the actual show (where I haven't really seen any dates about the bookshop) this is my headcanon which I sincerely love: 1793 was another important turn in their relationship and it's the time when Aziraphale takes the first step and lets Crowely into their bookshop.
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bidaryl · 1 year ago
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you're from america? place called the commonwealth, right? i found your tape recorder. how did you come to be in france? a bunch of bad decisions.
THE WALKING DEAD: DARYL DIXON —1.01; L'âme Perdue
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donnydamakkk · 2 years ago
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unpopular opinion: there is no point in the show in which jeid would have made sense. jj never seemed interested in him, and his feelings always felt misconstrued and misplaced. they never had that kinda chemistry.
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petrichoraline · 9 months ago
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I found this to be such a random comment until I realised it was Balgeum saying it and it suddenly felt so heavy
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dishesoap · 10 months ago
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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harmonizewithechoes · 2 months ago
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Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.
It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????
#sometimes i feel like a prized 12 point buck and everyone is desperate to give chase so they can skin me and wear my pelt in memorium#the luxury of being seen is rarely extended to those we perceive as confident/constant in their sense of self#the path of being a child who was constantly told i was making people uncomfortable and alienating my peers#only to immediately become an adult who everyone perceives as so together that they are just Like That With Everyonr#brennan said something like this in the disection of a recent misfits and magic episode about sam (character)#and how he (as evan) realized that the charm and specialness she gifts to everyone around her means that no one ever really gifts it back#and how that fundamentally felt transcendent and revelatory for evan as a turning point idea#he'd spent so long never trusting others feelings of care for him that he couldn't see how he was bulldozing right into and over sam's own#insecurities about whether or not she is worth loving or is special in the same way#and then they had some back and forth about like#sometimes when you develop the skill of relateability and pacification#you disappear so deeply into it that no one notices you're gone - even you yourself - until it's too late#it put to words a lot of the like#gap. that i've always felt between me and others. this insistance on elevating or pathologizing me depending on where they feel the need#to be in relation to me#while having absolutely zero awareness of my actual positioning in relation to them#i have found that they way i interact with others seems to give the impression that because i am being 'genuine' and 'open' about myself#that ALSO means that I am sharing the whole of me.#and when i talk about destigmatization and shame and people work really hard to be like. aware of the edges of me to carch me embarrassed#like if they can prove that i don't 'admit' something it's because i'm ashamed as opposed to considering that maybe they don't have the kind#of relationship with me that would warrant the sharing of it#because i'm willing to talk i am no longer allowed privacy or it's treated as incongruous#but like. i am different people for different people and they are all authentically me but they are also about faciliting the version#of the other person that matters to me to be able to spend time with. i'm not going to bring the parts of me that put you in a bad mood#or aren't comfortable/safe for you. also probably not going to put those things out into the open world as a mixed company conversation#i don't know where I'm going or where I came from here but i think the point is just that I think there's melancholy in seeing when#you also don't know a reliable way to be seen in turn
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lacunasbalustrade · 1 year ago
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gaito: the idiot
you’re not the strongest if you need to prove it
#to me Buddyfight is the Center of a jam doughnut#it’s something that like a whirlpool has absorbed my life but it’s also been a pillar of strength and even when I felt lost and had many#conflicted thoughts about it and strange feelings I could never hate it because it’s hope#has always been. Buddyfight taught me how to love. at the time I was forced to play games I didn’t love to be company for my brother. I was#studying and I learnt what pressure to achieve and succeed meant.#then that was that one episode where Zanya chooses Tsukikage not because he’s the better option but because he’s his buddy#and I realised that ‘oh- maybe just maybe I can have that too.’#I didn’t even truly understand the concept of love until I watched that.#I was so lost back then haha#it made me want to run away. and even as Buddyfight changed I changed along with it and had to learn to accept the changes in life.#Buddyfight is a game but to me it was the equivalent of a companion. of a confidant. Buddyfight taught me a lot of what I hope I became#it was as close as I could get to a childhood love.#Buddyfight now. It’s the show that brings me comfort to watch. The show that caused me to get into pretty much everything I have now. If yo#Removed it from my life everything would topple down because my entire life was involved with it and continues to be. and I’m comfortable#with that it’s like always having a hand to hold when I need help. it’s the game that teaches me to think inventively and that connects me#to my everything. I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. and it’s always in my heart. my precious friend.#<fcbf live-blogging>
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hues3ra · 2 years ago
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here’s the thing
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figuerockfaeth · 4 months ago
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featherymainffins · 9 months ago
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Family is clearly just prolonging my and my mother's misery by forcing me to text her on special occasions and send her gifts, which is giving her false hope that her only boxing bag might come back and endure whatever she decides to take out on it again.
#if it were up to me I'd block her number and never even hear anything about her again#she made her choices and I swear to god i tried to be a good daughter and take them#when university told me that we should try to stay in contact with people in cults because it's much harder to get out without#a support system i tried to take it because of that if nothing else. i told myself that I'll take it. that I'll take it because maybe one#day she'll want out. i tried to.#maybe I didn't try hard enough I don't know. and if that's right then the universe can add it to my endless list of sins which makes me#not a human. the universe can add it to the list of reasons for why I'll never lead a happy life and why I'm better off dead.#that's what I've been told when i was growing up after all.#i tried to but it's just. it's her life or mine. and if she were mean just to me I'd let her take it. if it were just me I'd let her say all#those horrible things to me and I'd stand there and let her punch my limbs until they go numb like i always have#and I'd let her tell me that nobody will ever love me and I'd let her do her invasive checks of my body and I'd let her have those#episodes of searching through my entire room and breaking into my accounts to see if I'm saying anything about her ever to anyone#and calling my doctors and telling them that I'm crazy and not to believe a word i say.#I'd let her do all that as i always have. but she's horrible to my friends and horrible to strangers and it's just too much for me.#I don't want to hear that my friend killed herself in vain and I don't want to hear that you'll never use her name because#'it was just a year before he offed himself so it doesn't count.'#I don't want to hear any of it. i don't want to hear that all my friends hate me and I don't want to hear how horrible they are#and i don't want to hear slurs you use against them and I don't want to hear you say those things about random people you#meet on the street and i don't want to hear you passing moral judgement on strangers because of the way they do their hair#or the way they dress or the way they were born.#I don't want to hear that all my friends with tattoos are rotten and that cancer awaits them as punishment#I don't want to hear any of it. I'm sick of it. i don't want to hear 'youre a censoring bootlicker' whenever i say that i would like you#to tone it down. 'its my opinion. i have a right to free speech.' free speech is not saying that my friends should die.
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machveil · 3 months ago
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BestFriend!Simon Riley and his big, beautiful brown eyes. he doesn’t think they’re anything special, but he knows you like them. is it playing dirty when Simon looks at you through his eyelashes when he wants something? maybe, but can’t you just let him stay over for the night? he’ll be quiet - he always is. your couch is a little too small for him, you don’t mind him squeezing into bed with you, right?
BestFriend!Simon Riley that has such dark irises they could be mistaken for black. sometimes you can’t tell where his iris stops and his pupil starts. eyes half-lidded, pale eyelashes droopy - Simon’s resting face usually has his eyes looking tired, almost heavy with sleep even when he’s wide awake. if you ignore the way his eyebrows seem to furrow, knitting together for positive and negative emotions alike, his drowsy gaze is almost dreamy - especially when he’s looking at you
BestFriend!Simon Riley who stares at you until you notice. lounging on your couch as you talk to him, your gaze focused on the tv while his is on you. two episodes of your favorite show, that’s how long Simon was able to stare at you before you noticed - you spared him a few glances, but it never really struck you. he cracks a smile when you ask, “Do I have something on my face?”, a deep hum rumbling in his chest as he shifts his gaze to the tv, pale eyelashes catching the light, “Nah, just lookin’.”
BestFriend!Simon Riley that stares at his ceiling at night, legs crossed and arms behind his head. one of the now rare times he isn’t at your place, a rare instance he isn’t cozied up and surrounding you. deep, pitch black eyes in the dark room looking up, eyelids heavily with sleep as he dozes off waiting to march back to your place tomorrow, those big, beautiful brown eyes waiting to look at you as he asks to stay over again
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