#and maybe then we can finally feel peace
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harmonizewithechoes · 5 months ago
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starlostlix · 9 months ago
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Fukuchi is a 'tragic hero' and how his narrative on the page parallels that of the current manga narrative
[Sorry for the bulky title I didn't know how to phrase it with any less words.]
Anyone who has seen my post probably knows how interested i've been in the writing of Fukuzawa and Fukuchi in recent chapters, and I've just recently had an idea (inspired by a post by @starlightshadowsworld about Fukuchi and Fukuzawa) that Fukuchi is in some ways a 'tragic hero', mostly inspired by Macbeth (I have studied Macbeth like 3 separate times in school I think it may stick with me forever in some way).
So a tragic hero is usually a central character of a story, someone who is noble yet experiences a tragic downfall linked to a fatal flaw in their character. But some antagonists can also be tragic heroes. A tragic hero has to be virtuous to gain audience sympathy, have a tragic flaw that leads to their downfall, and suffer a reversal of fortune.
- So where does this apply to Fukuchi?
Fukuchi can be considered virtuous - he has goals of world peace, he's portrayed as a hero in his movies and to the people of the world, and he has his willingness to give up his life as part of his plan - which can all lead to the anime audience/manga reader and the people of the BSD universe feeling sympathy for him.
He also has his fatal flaws - he works with untrustworthy people like Fyodor to try and make his plan work (ultimately leading to his plan failing and him being turned into a weapon), and he displays a sense of cruelty despite his personal limit of 500 deaths for his plan. I do think that his ability itself is also a fatal flaw - his ability (being able to strengthen any weapon by 100x) is inherently made for combat and destruction, and goes directly against his ideals of world peace. In fact, the reason Fyodor needed him in the first place was his ability. In universe, his bloodlust and his own friendship with Fukuzawa would be seen as his fatal flaw, as may be written on the page.
Then the reversal of fortune. His original plan was to die and world peace to be achieved via the page from that. Instead Fyodor uses him as part of the Tripolar singularity and he is now the vessel of the Divine being that threatens to destroy everything around it - and goes directly against his ideas of peace. But that is OUR narrative - the people of the BSD universe were to have the narrative of Fukuchi being defeated in battle by his own friend, his bloodlust luring him to his own defeat.
But being a 'tragic hero' is to mean that his actions are inherently flawed, much like Macbeth being willing to shed so much blood for his own gain. Fukuchi's actions put the world in danger, even with his noble goals of world peace, and it is his flaws and actions that have led to the world being in such a dangerous situation - leaving it vulnerable to not only manipulatiors like Fyodor, but possible corruption via a potential dictatorship. His ideas were overly optimistic and doesn't account for these potential disasters enough (and no, placing Fukuzawa as leader does not solve this issue - what about who comes after? will they be as kind? and even then he's just shouldered his dear friend with a huge burden he didn't want in the slightest. i'd argue that's also another flaw of his - not having the necessary compassion to consider the effects his plan may have on fukuzawa, teruko and others involved and seeing that his goals may not be worth those.)
- So Fukuchi clearly hits all those boxes, but why do you keep mention the in-universe BSD population?
Well the main idea is that the narrative we see in the manga parallels that of the one the people of the BSD universe would see.
Fukuchi (his body now possessed by the Divine being) is creating all out destruction in Yokohama, with no reason or remorse for it. It is likely that this is how Fukuchi, if the page took effect when he was defeated, would be viewed by the public for his actions with the Vampirism and the One Order. Nothing more than a mindless monster, where his bloodlust is his fatal flaw, rather than his ability and his trust in the wrong people.
This is why i theorise that the final blow to kill the Divine being/Fukuchi will be done by Fukuzawa - preserving the effects of the page and playing out exactly like the page would have predicted. Essentially I also see the narrative of the page being applied to defeating the Divine being instead of just Fukuchi.
In addition, the people of the BSD universe would have had sympathy for him until this point. Not just Fukuzawa and Teruko, but all his fans who enjoyed his movies and the soldiers and politicians who idolised him. Whilst the current manga narrative has some attempts at evoking sympathy for him, most of the fanbase don't feel sympathetic to him (which flips the narrative presented in-universe).
[So essentially the current narrative we the reader see is possibly mirroring the one already written on the page - at least that's what I'm trying to say (i'm kind of confusing myself trying to write this, I had a point but it's kind of slipping my mind when I try to explain better). I hope this makes sense to at least one person lmao. This has been in my drafts for a bit so I hope it still makes some sense.]
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hecatesbroom · 1 year ago
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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f1owermoon · 8 months ago
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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peachesandcows · 10 months ago
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Heyo would you rather be hunted for sport by a millionaire on their estate with who knows how many weapons or traps around, or would you rather run from a supernatural creature in which you do not know what abilities they have?
Supernatural creature because then at least I can understand its nature. Both will do everything in their power to kill me, but one chose to become this.
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msfbgraves · 2 months ago
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Imagine having been born in 1905... And all your life it doesn't fucking stop. The Great War, the Spanish Flu, and then you go out of your mind for 7 years. Everyone is traumatised and nothing matters. Then another crash. And then the rise of fascism, and the War to end all Wars didn't and it's 1945 and you're just about still there. You may have fought or ferried the boys from Dunkirk or sabotaged the Nazi occupiers or worked in the factories and put out fires during the Blitz and you're lucky to be alive, because not all your friends made it. But you are and finally, fucking finally, it stops. It stops. You are tough as nails and you can put that strength to work into building something and you do, and people have cars and can buy icecream and you have a pension fund and the kids have money of their own and no nightmares.
I want that for us. I so want that for us. I want to be the generation that has seen fucking everything and is like a MRSA bug and unfazed and when that Cheeto finally dies, I want us to. Plant the gardens and clean the seas because we can and we want to and we remember some joy, some time of trust even when it got broken and we can say to the 20 somethings "let us show you what we can build, how it can feel."
And maybe Gen beta will take it all for granted like the boomers did, but we can give Gen Z and Alpha some peace because we, and Gen Z and Alpha have seen the Dark Times and fuck that noise.
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xo100 · 4 months ago
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Hi! Could I ask Lando with pregnant reader. Like maybe her getting dizzy bc of all the paparazzis and fans surrounding. Maybe angsty. Dunno if you'll like the idea, but I honestly love ur work soo much
Our little miracle - LN4
*:・゚ Summary/request: request by anon as you can read above this!
*:・゚ Word count: 1244
*:・゚ A/N: first of all I want to say sorry for not being so active lately! I’ve been busy with school and work, I didn’t had any time to write! Second I want to say thank you so much anon! I hope you like this story too! If not let me known!
masterlist / community / request
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౨ৎ
The late morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, warming the bedroom and casting soft golden streaks on the walls. The gentle hum of the city outside was barely audible over the rhythmic sound of Lando’s breathing beside you. His arm was slung lazily over your waist, his warmth seeping into your skin like a comforting blanket.
You blinked sleepily, turning your head to look at him. His face was still soft with sleep, his hair a wild mess of curls that begged to be smoothed down. He looked so peaceful like this, so completely at ease, and it made your heart ache in the best way.
“Caught you staring,” he mumbled, his voice raspy as his lips curled into a sleepy grin.
“I wasn’t staring,” you lied, your cheeks heating up.
“Sure,” he teased, his eyes still closed. “You’ve been staring at me every morning for the past five years. It’s okay, I’m used to it.”
You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. “Good morning, Lando.”
“Morning,” he said, finally opening his eyes. They were warm and bright, like pools of melted chocolate, and they crinkled at the corners as he smiled at you. “Guess what day it is?”
You blinked, still half-asleep. “Uh… Saturday?”
“Baby shopping day,” he announced, his grin widening.
You couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. “You’re more excited about this than I am.”
“Of course I am!” he said, propping himself up on one elbow. “We’re picking out stuff for our baby. This is a big deal.”
It was a big deal. After months of trying—months of hope and heartbreak—you were finally here. Fourteen weeks pregnant, your little miracle growing inside you. It still didn’t feel real sometimes, like you were dreaming and could wake up at any moment.
“I still can’t believe this is happening,” you said softly, your hand resting on your small but growing bump.
“It’s happening,” Lando said, covering your hand with his. His eyes softened as he looked at you, his thumb brushing gently over your knuckles. “And I can’t wait to spoil both of you today.”
---
The car ride into the city was filled with laughter and teasing. Lando, as usual, couldn’t resist cracking jokes, trying to lighten the nerves you hadn’t even realized you were feeling.
“Okay, but hear me out,” he said, glancing at you with a mischievous grin. “What if we name the baby after a car? Like… Ferrari Norris. Or McLaren Norris. That’s got a nice ring to it, right?”
You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Absolutely not. Our child is not going to be named after a car brand.”
“Fine,” he said, pretending to pout. “But if they grow up to be a racer, I’m taking full credit for the inspiration.”
The boutique Lando had chosen was tucked away in a quieter part of the city, its window displays filled with pastel-colored baby clothes and wooden toys. The moment you stepped inside, you were greeted by the soft scent of lavender and the faint sound of a lullaby playing over the speakers.
Lando’s eyes lit up as he took in the rows of tiny clothes and baby accessories. “This is it,” he said, grabbing your hand. “This is where we find all the cool stuff.”
You spent the next hour wandering the store, debating over cribs and strollers, laughing as Lando tried to convince you that the baby absolutely needed a mini Formula 1 onesie.
“Come on,” he said, holding it up with a grin. “How cute would they look in this?”
“They’d look adorable,” you admitted, “but they’ll probably outgrow it in a month.”
“Worth it,” he said, tossing it into the shopping basket.
You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. Seeing him like this—so excited, so ready to dive headfirst into parenthood—made your heart swell with love.
---
By the time you left the store, the sun had climbed higher in the sky, and the streets were bustling with activity. Lando carried the shopping bags in one hand, his other arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders.
You didn’t notice the paparazzi at first.
It started with a few flashes, the sudden brightness making you blink. Then came the voices—shouting questions and calling Lando’s name.
“Lando! Over here!” “How’s the season going?” “Is it true you’re expecting?”
The crowd seemed to grow out of nowhere, fans and photographers swarming around you. The noise was overwhelming, a cacophony of voices and camera clicks that made your head spin.
“Lando,” you said softly, gripping his arm.
He turned to you immediately, his eyes scanning your face. “Hey, are you okay?”
You tried to nod, but the dizziness was already setting in. The flashes, the shouting, the crush of bodies—it was too much.
“I don’t feel…” Your voice trailed off as your vision blurred.
Lando didn’t hesitate. Dropping the shopping bags, he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you steady. “Alright, that’s enough!” he snapped, his voice sharp and commanding. “Back off! She’s pregnant. Give her some space!”
The crowd faltered, the realization rippling through them. But Lando didn’t wait for them to comply. He guided you away from the chaos, his body shielding yours as he led you down a quieter side street.
“Breathe, love,” he said softly, stopping to face you. His hands cupped your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall. “In and out. I’ve got you.”
You nodded, focusing on his voice, his touch. The dizziness slowly faded, replaced by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your palm.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, guilt creeping in. “I ruined our day.”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Lando said, his tone gentle but firm. “You and the baby come first. Always.”
You managed a weak smile. “Even over baby sneakers?”
“Even over baby sneakers,” he said, grinning. “But just barely.”
---
Back at home, the chaos of the day felt like a distant memory. Lando had insisted on ordering takeout, claiming that you deserved to be spoiled after the ordeal.
As you sat on the couch, surrounded by the shopping bags you’d managed to bring home, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace. Lando was in the kitchen, humming softly as he poured you a glass of water.
“Here you go,” he said, handing it to you before sitting down beside you. His hand immediately found its way to your stomach, resting there gently.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice soft.
“I’m okay,” you said, covering his hand with yours. “Thanks to you.”
He smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “I can’t wait to meet them,” he said quietly, his voice filled with wonder.
“Me too,” you whispered, leaning into him.
For a while, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, the only sounds the faint hum of the city outside and the occasional rustle of the shopping bags.
“You know,” Lando said after a moment, “I meant what I said earlier. You and the baby come first. Always.”
You turned to look at him, your heart swelling with love. “I know,” you said. “And I love you for it.”
“I love you too,” he said, his eyes shining with emotion. “More than anything.”
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the room in a warm, golden glow, you realized that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you and Lando would face them together.
And that was all that mattered.
౨ৎ
*:・゚ Notes; thank you for reading, love’s! Hope you all enjoyed it! If there is something wrong or need to be edited, let me know!
*:・゚tags; @gridprincess-04 , @justaf1girl
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inseobts · 13 days ago
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Busted! (Secret Relationship)
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what if the two of you are in a secret relantionship and suddenly everyone start to realize something is going on?
characters: zoro, sanji, law, koby, ace
(luffy, sabo, kid, shanks, bartolomeo)
words count: around 0.8k - 1.3k each
masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi
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── .✦ Zoro:
The Thousand Sunny is quiet most days, but today feels especially peaceful. The crew’s scattered across the deck sunbathing, napping, playing cards, and you? You’re on a mission.
Zoro’s disappeared again.
“Where did he go this time?” you mutter, padding softly down the hallway. You’ve checked the deck, the crow’s nest, even behind the kitchen. Nothing. Then you think... of course! The training room.
Sure enough, you step inside and spot him, dead asleep on the floor, his swords lying beside him like loyal dogs. He looks peaceful, his breathing deep and even. You smile. He really can sleep anywhere.
You don’t mean to sit down next to him, but somehow, you do.
Just for a minute.
Just long enough to rest your head against his shoulder.
Next thing you know, it’s dark. The room’s dipped in shadow, the ship creaking gently. You jolt upright, a little dazed.
“Zoro—sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
But he just grunts, shifting a little. His shoulder doesn’t move from under your cheek.
It becomes a pattern after that.
You find him again a few days later, this time slumped in a corner of the dining room. You lie down nearby. Sleep drags you under before you can think twice. When you wake, your head is in his lap.
“You’re fine” he murmurs, when you apologize again. Like it’s no big deal. Like he’s used to you being there.
And you start to think… maybe he is.
The naps become frequent. Easy. Comfortable. You stop trying to come up with excuses. You sit beside him on the deck while the others chatter. You lean against him while he sharpens his swords. He never pulls away.
One night, you find him leaning against the wall of the storage room, eyes half-lidded, arms crossed. The moment you walk in, he straightens, just barely, but enough for you to know he was waiting.
He pulls you in without a word. A kiss. Slow, familiar. His hands are warm on your back.
“I missed you” you whisper against his collarbone.
Zoro exhales through his nose “You saw me four hours ago.”
“Still.”
He doesn’t argue. Just leans his forehead against yours.
It’s sweet. Undisturbed. Until you hear footsteps and both of you freeze.
“Shhhit” you whisper, slipping away as quiet as you can.
Neither of you sees Chopper peeking from behind a barrel.
The next day, the crew is watching. Not subtly.
You notice Nami watching you with a knowing smirk. Robin sips her tea, but there’s amusement in her gaze. Sanji is glaring daggers at Zoro (okay, that’s normal), but Usopp is squinting at you both like he’s trying to solve a puzzle.
You clear your throat “What?”
Usopp narrows his eyes further “You and Zoro have been acting weird.”
Your heart nearly stops.
You glance at Zoro, who doesn’t even flinch as he takes another bite of his rice “What the hell are you talking about?”
“That you two are obviously acting weird lately...” Nami finally says.
Zoro doesn’t even blink “You’re imagining things.”
“You’re eating your vegetables...” she points out.
Zoro shrugs “Coincidence.”
“You showed up early to dinner” Usopp adds, suspicious.
“Must’ve been a fluke.”
Brook, not missing a beat, says, “I saw you napping with her head on your lap again. Yohohoho~”
You wish you could melt into your chair. But Zoro? Calm as ever.
“She was tired,” he says flatly “What’s the problem?”
Luffy gasps dramatically “You’re dating!!”
Zoro sighs “We were resting.”
You stare at your plate, but a warm touch to your hand under the table grounds you.
Zoro, looking at you like the whole world could wait.
Days pass. You try to be extra careful. Less glances. Less sneaky meetings. Less…everything.
But it doesn’t matter.
Because one night, the crew catches you.
It happens so fast. One moment, you’re on watch duty, and the next, Zoro is there, dragging you into a kiss. It’s heated, his hands gripping your waist, your fingers tangled in his hair, completely lost in each other.
Then “AH-HA!!”
You jolt apart.
Usopp is pointing at you both, eyes wide with betrayal “I knew it!!”
The entire crew is gathered behind him, staring.
Luffy tilts his head “Wait, were we not supposed to know?”
Sanji is fuming “Why him?! You could do so much better, Y/N-chan!”
Robin chuckles “It was quite obvious, honestly.”
Chopper bounces excitedly “I saw them sneaking around weeks ago!”
You cover your face in embarrassment “Oh my god, it was you!”
Zoro groans, rubbing the back of his neck “Tch. Should’ve known you idiots would figure it out. You never mind your own business.”
Luffy grins “Well, at least you don’t have to sneak around anymore!”
Zoro pauses, then shrugs “Guess that’s true.” He turns to you, smirking “Means I can kiss you whenever I want now.”
Your face burns “Zoro!!”
The crew erupts in laughter (except for Sanji, he cries louder).
Secret’s out.
Now you nap by his side without hiding. You lean against him on long afternoons. You sit close at meals. Luffy teases you both constantly. Sanji mutters curses under his breath. But it’s fine.
It’s more than fine. It’s peaceful.
That night, after dinner, you find yourself heading below deck. The ship rocks gently with the sea, moonlight shining through the portholes.
You already know where you’ll find him.
He’s sitting in the training room, back against the wall, swords neatly stacked beside him. When you walk in, he glances up, but he doesn’t say anything.
You sit beside him, stretching your legs out in front of you.
“I thought I might find you here” you say.
Zoro grunts, not disagreeing.
Silence settles in. Comfortable. You shift slightly, laying your head in his lap. He doesn’t move, just lets his fingers find their way into your hair, slow and soothing.
It’s a simple thing. The kind of closeness that doesn’t ask for anything in return.
His hand runs gently over your scalp. You feel your eyes drifting shut again.
“I like this” Zoro says, voice low, almost a rumble.
You blink sleepily, your cheek still pressed to his thigh “Hm?”
“You. Sleeping like this.” He pauses “On my lap.”
Your heart flutters at the quiet honesty. You glance up at him, but he’s not looking down, he’s staring straight ahead, the barest hint of pink on his cheeks.
“I like it too” you murmur.
Zoro’s thumb brushes just behind your ear, then down the back of your neck, repeating the motion. A steady rhythm. Grounding. Careful.
His fingers slip into your hair again, and he continues tracing lazy circles on your scalp. His other hand rests lightly on your arm, as if to say, I’ve got you.
You drift off to the sound of his breathing, calm and slow.
The next morning, sunlight filters through the windows.
You wake slowly, still curled up in Zoro’s lap. His fingers are tangled gently in your hair, and his thumb brushes your temple in slow, steady passes.
You tilt your head, eyes meeting his.
“How long have you been awake?” you whisper.
Zoro smirks, eyes warm “Long enough.”
You stretch, reluctant to move.
“I’m comfortable” you mumble.
He doesn’t stop touching your hair “Good.”
“Zoro?”
“Hm?”
“I think I’m getting used to this.”
He finally looks down at you, something quiet in his expression, softness, maybe. Peace.
“Yeah,” he says “Me too.”
And you smile, because in this floating world full of chaos, monsters, and adventure… it’s the quietest moments like this that feel the most real.
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── .✦ Sanji:
Sanji is always everywhere. In the kitchen. On the deck. Serving drinks. Flirting with Nami and Robin. Spinning around like the lovestruck idiot he is.
Which is exactly why no one suspects a damn thing.
No one notices how his hand brushes against yours just a little longer when he passes you a plate. No one questions why he always makes extra of your favorite dish. And no one, not even Usopp, the self-proclaimed detective, realizes that when Sanji disappears from the kitchen at night, it’s to be with you.
Like right now.
It’s past midnight, and the kitchen is dimly lit. The scent of fresh tea and something sweet lingers in the air as you lean against the counter, watching Sanji work. His sleeves are rolled up, his vest discarded, and the soft glow of the lantern makes his golden hair look even more unruly.
“You’re spoiling me” you murmur as he places a small plate in front of you a delicate pastry, still warm.
Sanji grins, wiping his hands on a towel “Of course, mon amour. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t?”
You take a bite, humming in satisfaction “Mmm. Amazing.”
His eyes soften as he leans in, resting his palms on the counter on either side of you “I can think of something even sweeter.”
Before you can respond, he captures your lips in a slow, lingering kiss. You melt into him, gripping the fabric of his shirt as his fingers gently tilt your chin up. His lips taste like mint and a hint of the dessert he just made, and you lose yourself in the warmth of him.
Then a loud BANG from outside the door.
Both of you freeze.
Sanji pulls back, glancing at the entrance “Shit—”
You practically shove him away, wiping your lips as the door swings open.
“Oi, I swear, I'm not here to see your ugly face, I need—”
Zoro stops mid-sentence, looking between the two of you. His eyes narrow.
Your heart stops.
Sanji, ever the smooth talker, immediately turns to glare at him “Moss-head, do you have no manners? Barging into my kitchen?”
Zoro scowls “Tch. Like I wanna be here. Luffy’s whining about meat, and I—” His gaze shifts back to you. Suspicious.
You force a casual smile “Uh… late-night snack?”
Zoro doesn’t look convinced. His eyes flick between the two of you once more before he grunts “Whatever. Just bring food before Luffy eats Chopper.”
He turns and leaves.
You don’t breathe until the door clicks shut. Then you glare at Sanji “We almost got caught.”
Sanji just smirks, brushing his fingers over your wrist “But we didn’t.”
You always try to act normal. You really do. But Sanji makes it so damn difficult.
He’s always sneaking glances at you across the table. Always brushing against you when he walks by. Always bringing you your favorite snacks, acting like it’s nothing.
And apparently, the crew is starting to catch on.
“You guys ever notice that Sanji doesn’t flirt with Y/N as much as he does with Nami and Robin?” Usopp suddenly asks one day.
Your spoon nearly slips from your hand.
Franky strokes his chin “Huh. Now that you mention it…”
Brook chuckles “Ohhh, that is unusual.”
Luffy, mouth full, tilts his head “But Sanji flirts with everyone.”
Zoro scoffs “Yeah. Except Y/N.”
Your stomach drops.
Sanji, who had been stirring a pot at the stove, doesn’t even flinch “I’m just being a gentleman.”
Nami raises an eyebrow “Are you, though?”
Sanji turns, flashing his usual charming smile “Of course, my dear! Why would I treat Y/N-chan any different?”
You force a nervous laugh “Right! That would be weird, huh?”
They don’t look convinced.
Robin simply sips her tea, giving you both a knowing look.
In the end, it’s Luffy who ruins everything.
One day you and Sanji are in the storage room, tucked away between crates of supplies, wrapped up in each other. His hands are in your hair, his lips teasing against yours, and the rest of the world doesn’t exist... at least until the door slams open.
“SANJI, ARE YOU IN HE—oh.”
Luffy stops. Blinks. Tilts his head.
You and Sanji are frozen in place, practically tangled together.
Luffy’s face slowly lights up “OOOOHHHH!!!”
You scramble back “L-Luffy, it’s not what it looks like—”
“YOU GUYS WERE KISSING!!”
Sanji sighs, rubbing his temples “Goddammit.”
Before you can even try to shut him up, Luffy sprints out of the room.
You stare at the door in horror “Oh no.”
“OH YES” Sanji groans, already dreading what’s about to happen.
“GUYS!!” Luffy yells at the top of his lungs “SANJI AND Y/N ARE KISSING!!”
A beat of silence. Then an explosion of multiple “WHAT?!”
Usopp “I knew something was up!!”
Franky “That’s SUPER unexpected!”
Brook “OHOHO, young love~!”
Chopper “How long has this been going on?!”
Nami “You guys really thought you were being secretive?”
Robin chuckles knowingly “Adorable.”
Zoro grinning smugly “Called it.”
Sanji groans, burying his face in his hands “Kill me now.”
You sigh, crossing your arms “Well. Secret’s out.”
Sanji straightens, huffing dramatically before flashing you a smirk “At least now I don’t have to hold back anymore, mon amour~”
He dips you backward, kissing you full on the mouth right in front of the crew.
Cue, another round of screaming.
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── .✦ Law:
Dinner on the Polar Tang is always loud. Jokes, clinks of silverware, and Bepo’s laugh echo off the metal walls.
You sit between Shachi and Penguin, pretending to listen to their story about a giant sea bass they swear was “this big”, but your eyes keep drifting across the table to Law.
Your secret boyfriend. Your captain. The man who never smiles in public, but melts when you’re alone.
No one knows. Not even Bepo. You’ve kept it quiet for months. Private looks, quick touches in dark halls, and soft kisses in his room late at night.
Today, before dinner, you stopped by his quarters. Things got… heated.
“Hold still” you say, laughing as you straddle his lap, pressing kiss after kiss on his jaw, his cheek, his neck.
“You’re gonna leave marks” Law murmurs, but his hands stay firm on your hips.
“Good,” you whisper against his throat, lips painted with your favourite lipstick “Let everyone wonder who’s bold enough to kiss the Surgeon of Death.”
He smirks, but you clean him up after. Or so you think.
Now, mid-dinner, you notice it.
Right on the collar of his white shirt, just above the neck, there's a soft red smudge. Lipstick. Your lipstick.
Your eyes widen.
Shachi nudges you “Hey, is that… is there something on Captain’s shirt?”
Penguin leans forward “Yo, Captain. You spill something?”
Law blinks. Looks down “What?”
Bepo tilts his head “No, that looks like lipstick.”
Silence falls over the table. Everyone stares.
You try to act innocent, chewing your food and glancing around like you’re just as confused.
“Lipstick?” you say, blinking “Who around here even wears lipstick?”
They all look at Ikkaku.
She doesn’t even look up from her bowl “Not me,” she mutters “That's not even my color.”
Penguin raises an eyebrow “So… that means…” He turns his head slowly toward you “You’re the only one who does.”
Shachi points between you and Law “Wait… Are you two…?”
Law doesn’t say a word. He just sips his tea like nothing’s happened.
You smile, wide and unapologetic “Guess I missed a spot.”
Silence.
Then chaos.
“WHAT?!” Shachi practically jumps over the table “YOU AND THE CAPTAIN?!”
“How long?!” Penguin shouts, eyes wide “Since when?! HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE?!”
Bepo stands up so fast he knocks over his stool “You’re dating the captain?!”
You raise an eyebrow “You guys okay? You look like you’re gonna pass out.”
“Don’t play innocent!” Penguin waves his spoon “You’ve been sneaking around with him! That’s our captain!”
Shachi gasps dramatically “All those times you disappeared after dinner… And that one time you came back with messy hair! I thought it was just wind!”
“Eheh, I am the wind” you say with a smirk.
Law sighs “You’re all loud.”
Bepo stares “So it’s true? You and Y/N?”
Law glances at you, then shrugs “Yeah.”
Another wave of panic.
“THE WAY HE SAID THAT!” Penguin screams.
“SO CALM—SO COOL—WHAT THE HELL!” Shachi is holding his head like it might explode.
Ikkaku finally looks up, deadpan “You’re all idiots.”
You lean into Law’s side, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Told you they’d freak.”
“Mm,” Law mutters “Still worth it.”
Bepo sniffles “I feel so betrayed… I thought we were a family.”
“We are,” you say “Just… a family with a very attractive captain who’s taken.”
“STOP,” Shachi yells “I CAN’T UNSEE IT.”
Law smirks just a little. And you can’t help it, you kiss his cheek in front of everyone, just to drive them a little more insane.
It’s been two days since The Lipstick Incident.
Two days of nonstop teasing.
“Morning, Y/N.”
“Or should we say Mrs. Surgeon of Death?”
You roll your eyes as Shachi and Penguin trail behind you like annoying seagulls.
“Captain! Can Y/N still go on missions or is she on girlfriend duty today?”
“Should we start knocking before entering the medbay now?”
Law mostly ignores them. Mostly. Except that time he dead-eyed Penguin and said, “Keep talking and I’ll switch your arms.”
The jokes died down for a few hours after that. But Bepo has become the most dramatic.
“I still can’t believe I found out at dinner like that,” he says, curled in a blanket like he’s mourning “I needed time to process.”
You plop down next to him on the couch “We didn’t mean to keep it from you. It was just… easier that way.”
He looks at you “Are you happy with him?”
You pause, then smile “Yeah. He makes me feel safe. And seen. Even if he doesn’t say much.”
Behind you, Law’s voice chimes in “I say plenty.”
You turn, surprised “You were eavesdropping?”
“It’s my ship.”
He walks over, drops a kiss on your forehead right in front of everyone. You expect chaos again, but the room is quiet.
Then Bepo grins “Okay. I approve.”
Shachi sighs “Fine. But if we ever hear weird noises from the engine room again—”
“—I will personally sedate you” Law cuts in.
The crew bursts into laughter.
Penguin raises his cup “To our captain and his secret weapon—Y/N!”
Everyone cheers. Even Ikkaku raises an eyebrow and gives you a subtle nod.
You look up at Law. He doesn’t smile much. But you see softness around the eyes, just for you.
Secret’s out. And honestly? It feels kind of nice.
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── .✦ Koby:
The marine base is quiet at night, almost peaceful. You walk along the edge of the courtyard, your boots barely making a sound on the stone floor. The moon is high, casting soft light over the base. You pause near the training field and look around. No one’s there.
Good.
“Koby?” you whisper, stepping behind a storage shed.
A soft rustle comes from the shadows. Then he steps out. His hair is a little messy, his uniform jacket open.
“You’re late” he says, but he smiles.
You roll your eyes “Only by five minutes.”
Koby glances around. He takes your hand and pulls you closer into the shadow of the wall. His hand is warm. You lean into him, your heartbeat fast.
“If anyone sees us…” he says, his voice low.
“No one will,” you say quickly “They never do.”
He chuckles “We’re getting good at this.”
“You mean I’m getting good at it,” you tease “You still get nervous when someone says my name.”
“That’s because Garp keeps watching me like he knows something” Koby says, eyes wide.
You laugh “Maybe he does.”
Koby groans “Don’t say that.”
You lean up and kiss his cheek “Relax. We’re always careful.”
He smiles at you, that soft look he only gives when it’s just the two of you “I missed you.”
“I saw you this morning.”
“That doesn’t count. You were in uniform. You called me Sir.”
You smirk “Would you prefer Captain Sweetheart?”
Koby covers his face, laughing quietly “Please don’t.”
The sound of footsteps suddenly cuts the moment short.
You both freeze.
“Did you hear that?��� you whisper.
Koby nods, already pulling away. You both hide behind the shed just as two lower-ranked marines walk by, talking about some drill tomorrow. They don’t see you.
Your heart pounds. When the footsteps fade, you let out a breath.
Koby looks at you, serious now “We can’t keep doing this forever.”
You know what he means. But you don’t want to think about it. Not tonight.
“Let’s just have this,” you say “Right now.”
He nods slowly, fingers brushing against yours again “Right now.”
Neither of you say the words out loud, but they’re there, floating in the silence.
This is dangerous but it’s totally worth it.
The sky looks angry today.
Wind whips through the courtyard, and the clouds hang low like they’re ready to fight someone. Fitting, considering your brain’s in a brawl with itself after what Helmeppo said the day before.
"Koby, huh?"
You can’t stop hearing it. His smirk. That I-know-something-you-don’t-want-me-to-know tone.
You march past the barracks, straight toward the supply shed, your usual spot. You pace in tight circles. The door creaks. Koby walks in, drenched from the rain already starting.
“I heard Helmeppo” he says.
You nod “I didn’t tell him anything.”
“I know. But he knows. He’s probably telling his pillow right now.”
You snort, even though your chest feels tight.
“What do we do?” you ask.
Koby looks out the cracked window “I don't think anyone would even care about what Helmeppo says, but I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
You wait.
“…What if we stop hiding?”
You blink “Just like that?”
He shrugs “We tell the truth. If we get in trouble, we get in trouble. At least it’s not lying anymore.”
You walk up to him, water dripping from the edge of the window onto your boots “You’re serious?”
He nods “You’re worth the risk.”
Before you can answer—BOOM! The door BURSTS open like it owes someone money.
There stands Vice Admiral Monkey D. Garp, holding a giant sack of snacks.
“I KNEW IT!” he bellows, pointing a meat bun at both of you like it’s a pistol “I KNEW YOU TWO WERE SWAPPING LOVE NOTES INSTEAD OF LOGBOOKS!”
Your soul nearly leaves your body. Koby jumps like he just got hit by lightning.
Garp stomps inside, water puddling under his boots “You think I’m old and blind?! I see everything! The glances! The disappearing acts! The suspiciously timed bathroom breaks!”
You and Koby look at each other, stunned.
“I—uh—we weren’t—” you stammer.
Garp holds up a finger “Don’t lie! I’ve seen more romance in your sneaky hallway nods than in a whole damn soap opera!”
Koby finally finds his voice “Vice Admiral Garp, we—”
Garp grabs two rice balls from his bag and tosses them at your heads.
“About time! I was betting with Sengoku you two would crack by this month!” He slaps Koby on the back so hard he almost falls over “Make it work, kiddo. Or I’ll make you regret everything.”
He stomps back into the storm, yelling at the sky.
“I WANT A WEDDING INVITE WHEN THIS BLOOMS INTO MARINE-SANCTIONED LOVE!”
Then he’s gone.
The silence is unreal.
“…Did he just bless our relationship and threaten us at the same time?” you ask.
Koby looks dazed “I think he also gave us lunch.”
You both stare at the rice balls on the ground.
You reach for one “So… no more hiding?”
Koby grins “No more hiding.”
You nod “Good. But that wasn’t romantic. That was a jump scare.”
By the next morning, everyone knows.
You’re not sure how.
Maybe it was Garp yelling across the courtyard. Maybe it was the rice ball slap. Maybe it was the way Koby smiled at you in front of a full squad meeting like it was no big deal. But now, it’s official.
You’re walking through the halls and two marines actually wink at you.
One gives you a thumbs-up. Another whispers, “Cute couple” like this is high school.
And then there’s Helmeppo, waiting by the stairs like he’s been practicing his lines all night.
“Well, well, well,” he drawls “Look who finally stopped sneaking off like a pair of guilty raccoons.”
You roll your eyes “Don’t you have training or something?”
“Oh, I do. But this is more fun,” he says, grinning “You two really had me fooled. All those ‘Yes, sir’s and ‘Permission to speak freely’s. Cute. Very professional. Very fake.”
“I will tape your mouth shut” you say calmly.
“Spicy,” Helmeppo whistles “No wonder Koby’s in love.”
You expect Koby to stammer. To panic. To turn bright red and pretend none of this is happening.
Instead, he wraps his arm around your waist and says “Yeah. I am.”
What.
You turn to him “Who are you and what did you do with the shy marine I was dating in secret?”
He grins, a little pink in the cheeks, but steady “I’m done hiding. I like holding your hand. I like saying it.”
Helmeppo looks personally attacked “You’re gonna make me throw up.”
Koby shrugs “Go drink some water.”
You’re still trying to recover from the whiplash when Koby turns to you again, softer this time. No audience, no drama, just him.
“I missed being close to you,” he says “Even just walking next to you without pretending it means nothing. I hated pretending.”
Your heart tugs.
“I know,” you say “I did too.”
He leans in, forehead resting lightly against yours “Now I can do this.”
He kisses you. Just a short, sweet kiss. Right there in the hallway.
Someone behind you gasps. Someone else claps. It’s probably Garp. Or Helmeppo. Or both.
You laugh into Koby’s shoulder “We’re never gonna hear the end of this.”
“Good,” he says “Let them talk.”
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── .✦ Ace:
It starts small.
Ace, lover of chaos and borderline inedible food, begins pushing onions off his plate.
At first, nobody says anything. Maybe he just wasn't in the mood. Maybe he’s just not feeling it today.
Then it happens again.
And again.
.........And again.
By the fourth time, Thatch is watching him like he’s trying to solve a murder.
“You good, man?”
Ace blinks, mid-push “Huh?”
“You keep banishing onions like they stole your ship or something.”
Ace shrugs “They just taste weird lately.”
Thatch narrows his eyes “You used to eat them raw.”
“Tastes change.”
“You once drank onion juice.”
“I was bored.”
“You said it ‘cleared the sinuses.’”
Ace looks up at him with a done expression “…And it did.”
Thatch is unconvinced. He stares at the sad pile of abandoned onions like they hold answers.
A few days later, Marco walks across the deck and almost trips over you.
You’re napping.
Not unusual. But you’re napping exactly like Ace. Flat on your back. Arm flopped over your face. One boot still on, one off. Dead to the world.
Marco leans down “You good?”
You snore lightly and mumble something about “I hate onions... mh”.
Marco’s eye twitches.
He walks off slowly and finds Thatch.
“We have a situation.”
Izou, Marco, Thatch, and Jozu sit in a huddle like they’re planning a heist.
Thatch slaps down a napkin with dramatic flair.
“Exhibit A: Ace has stopped eating onions.”
“Exhibit B,” Marco adds, “she naps like a dead log in the middle of the deck. Just like him.”
“Exhibit C,” Izou says, adjusting his coat, “he brushed his teeth twice in one day.”
Silence.
Jozu blinks “…What does that mean?”
Izou sighs “He’s trying not to taste bad, obviously.”
Marco nods slowly “Only one reason for all this.”
Everyone says it at once “He’s kissing someone.”
They all lean back like they’ve cracked the code.
Thatch grins wide “And we all know someone who always hated onions.”
Back on deck, you yawn and stretch, bumping into Ace as he leans on the rail.
“Morning” he says, smiling softly.
“You smell like mint” you mutter, surprised.
He leans in slightly “That a bad thing?”
You shake your head, trying not to grin “Nah. Kinda hot, actually.”
What you don’t notice is the small army of Whitebeard pirates across the deck, hiding behind barrels, crates, and a suspiciously placed sail, watching you both with the intensity of trained spies.
Thatch whispers, “Look at him. He’s glowing.”
Marco squints “Is that a love glow?”
Jozu nods “He’s never glowed before.”
Izou fans himself “My heart can’t take this.”
Thatch whispers like he’s narrating a nature documentary “Observe: the rare, emotionally available Ace, brushing his teeth and avoiding onions for the sake of romance.”
Marco chuckles “Should we say something?”
Thatch shakes his head, evil smile creeping in “Not yet. Let’s have a little fun first.”
The crew knows. You just don’t know that they know. Which is why things get weird really fast.
First, Thatch starts offering you food. All the time. Which wouldn’t be strange except “Here, Y/N, extra meat, no onions. Just how you like it” he says sweetly, placing it in front of you with a wink.
You blink “Thanks…?”
He beams “Y’know. For important stuff. Like kissing for example.”
You choke “What?”
“Kissing your enemies goodbye in battle, of course. Wouldn't be cool if you smell like onions.” he says innocently “What else would I mean?”
You narrow your eyes. He walks off humming the wedding march.
Weird.
Later that day, Marco corners Ace.
“You ever think about switching toothpaste brands?”
Ace looks up from his nap spot, squinting “What?”
“I heard mint’s nice” Marco says, deadly casual.
Ace raises a brow “I already switched. Why?”
“No reason,” Marco shrugs “Just figured you’d want to impress… someone.”
“…Like who?”
Marco just walks off.
Ace stares after him, confused.
Then there’s Izou.
He appears next to you while you’re doing your hair, watching like a hawk.
“Hmm” he says thoughtfully.
“What?”
“You’ve got a new little strand tucked behind your ear. That’s new.”
You frown “So? My hair just got a bit too long.”
“Just reminds me of how Ace tucks his hair sometimes. Cute. Subtle. Copying your crush is a classic move.”
You freeze “Wh-What crush?”
He smiles slowly “Oh, I didn’t say you had one.”
You almost trip over the comb.
And don’t even get started on Jozu. He starts playing “matchmaker” out of nowhere.
“Hey Y/N, what do you think of guys with freckles?”
You pause “I mean, freckles are nice... why?”
“No reason.” He grins “You like fire powers too?”
“…You’re literally describing Ace.”
“Am I?” he says, like he’s shocked at himself.
You walk away suspicious. The crew snickers behind your back.
By the end of the week, you’re starting to get twitchy. Ace too.
“Are they acting weird?” you whisper one night as you sit beside him on deck.
“Definitely,” he says, arms behind his head “Thatch winked at me when I refused onions at dinner.”
“Marco suggested I take a nap ‘in a more open, sunny place.’” You glance at him “Sound familiar?”
Ace groans “They’re onto something.”
You whisper, “Do you think they know?”
He shrugs “They’re dumb. I think we’re safe.”
The crew, literally hiding, listening in with cups pressed to the wood.
Thatch whispers, “They think we’re dumb.”
Marco snorts “They’re in love and hiding it like toddlers under a table.”
Izou fans himself “Give it another day. Then we strike.”
It starts over breakfast.
Again, totally normal day. Birds chirping. Sun’s out. Pirates being loud. You stroll in beside Ace, acting casual. Like you didn’t kiss him good morning five minutes ago behind the barrels.
You sit down.
He sits next to you.
Everything is fine. Until Thatch slams his fork on the table and stands up dramatically.
“Okay, this has gone on long enough.”
You and Ace both freeze.
Marco leans in lazily, sipping his coffee “So. You two are dating, right?”
Your eyes go wide.
Ace doesn’t even blink.
And at the exact same time:
You: “No! Who would even date him?”
Ace: “Yeah, we’re obviously dating.”
Silence.
A beat.
Then Jozu chokes on his juice. Thatch drops his spoon. Izou wheezes like he’s been punched.
Marco just blinks “Well. That answers that.”
You turn to Ace in slow motion “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??”
He frowns slightly “That we’re dating? What—why did you say that so disgusted?”
You hiss “Because you weren’t supposed to just admit it!”
“Why not? We’ve been caught.”
“I was trying to lie!”
Thatch is howling “Oh my god—‘Who would even date him??’ Babe, the man LITERALLY has your name carved into his pillow.”
You whip around “He WHAT?!”
Ace shrugs “Just the initials. It’s cute.”
Izou fans himself “I’m going to die. This is the best breakfast of my life.”
Marco grins “This is better than I expected”
Jozu “It’s like watching a romance novel crash into a comedy sketch.”
You bury your face in your hands “I hate this. I hate ALL of you.”
Ace pats your back gently “I think it’s going great.”
You glare at him “You’re enjoying this.”
“Of course. I don’t have to sneak around anymore. I get to call you mine out loud now.”
That… makes your face heat up. You try not to smile. You fail.
Thatch yells, “THEY’RE BLUSHING. IT’S REAL.”
Ace slings his arm around your shoulders, smug and unbothered “Don’t worry, babe. We’ll survive the embarrassment.”
Izou smirks “Barely.”
Marco raises his cup “To the worst cover-up attempt in Whitebeard history.”
Everyone cheers.
You groan and slump against Ace, who kisses your temple like the traitor he is.
Soft. Smiling. Loud and proud.
And now you’re never living this down.
2K notes · View notes
daryltwdixon · 1 month ago
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.5 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 6.5
Summary: Cracks begin to show in the life you were building with the Miller brothers, the weight of the third trimester pressing down as Tommy lashes out in a way you didn’t see coming. Seeking comfort and clarity, you leave with Joel—where tension, tenderness, and long-buried feelings finally surface behind closed doors.
|| smut MDNI 18+, arguing, Tommy is an ass, pinv, fingering, pregnancy kink?, dirty talk obvi, breeding kink, possessive joel, some longing and angst, no outbreak, they still cant f'ing communicate ||
notes: I promise I actually like tommy in the show / game lmao. sorry this took me so long! was traveling to see family and literally had no downtime. enjoy!!!
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The nursery was only half finished. 
The bassinet was still in its box, unopened, up against the wall. Paint cans were stacked in the corner, samples painted haphazardly on the walls that had been dried for weeks. It was like dust had settled over everything—over the plans, the promises, the parts that were supposed to come next.
You sat in the recliner, the one meant for late-night feedings and early-morning lullabies. One hand rested on your belly, your thumb moving in slow, steady circles— something to do, to keep your breath even. 
You were supposed to be building the crib today. Joel had followed Tommy home from the job site, both of their boots still dirty with sawdust, just to make it in time. They’d barely stepped inside before it was clear something was wrong.
Tommy stood by the window, arms crossed so tightly across his chest it looked like he might splinter from the pressure. His jaw was locked, shoulders coiled. Joel mirrored him from the doorway—hands tucked under his arms, weight leaned against the frame like he wasn’t sure if he should stay or go.
Whatever was between them wasn’t being said, but you felt it all the same. Thick in the air, pressing down like humidity before a storm. Crawling across your skin, making you itch in places you couldn’t reach.
It had started weeks ago. Subtle, at first. Tommy pulling away in small, quiet ways—forgetting appointments, brushing past you with less warmth, keeping his kisses chaste and short. The bigger your belly got, the more he seemed to disappear.
Maybe now that it was real—your body changing more by the day, the shape of this future becoming something tangible—he was seeing it differently. Maybe he was seeing you differently.
You hadn’t wanted to believe it at first. Maybe it was nerves. Maybe it was stress. But as your due date crept closer, it became harder to ignore. He barely touched the baby clothes, the packages that came for the nursery. Or you.
Something had cracked, and no one wanted to look at the pieces. Now, whatever this was—this silence, this standoff—it felt like the final leak in a dam. Like the whole thing was about to burst open.
You tried to ease the pressure. Something small. Something safe.
“Have either of you thought more about names?” your voice came out lighter than it should. Like a peace offering. “We should probably decide before he gets here.”
Tommy didn’t even look at you. “You mean you and Joel should decide.”
You exhaled. Of course.
“Tommy… you’ve been avoiding every conversation about the baby lately,” you said gently. “For weeks. Can’t you just…talk to us? To me?”
“Maybe that’s because every time we talk,” he snapped, “I’m the one who’s unreasonable. I’m the one who’s supposed to suck it up and smile.”
“You are being unreasonable,” you said, too fast, too sharp. Then, softer—more careful. “You keep shutting Joel out of everything. You won’t let him have a say in any of the decisions or plans. He’s supposed to be part of this.”
Tommy laughed—a short, humorless bark. “He was part of this. We needed him to help. That’s what this was. A favor. You and me—we were gonna raise this baby. He’s not—” he shook his head, letting the end of his sentence hang between the three of you.
You rose from the chair slowly, pressing your palm into the armrest as you shifted your weight, the other hand supporting your swollen belly. Joel moved instinctively, ready to help, but you lifted a hand without looking at him. I’m fine.
Your knees ached. Your back pulled. The baby shifted under your ribs, like he knew something was wrong.
You crossed the room, stopping just a few feet from your husband. “Tommy,” you said, voice calm but full, “we agreed he would be part of this. We agreed to try it this way. We’re supposed to be a team. He’s not just some uncle. He’s the baby’s—”
“Don’t fucking say it.”
His voice cracked halfway through the word, and for a second you saw it. The grief. The way it was wrapped around his anger like barbed wire.
Joel pushed off the doorway. “Then what the hell am I, Tommy?” His voice was calm, but there was steel under it. “What, just a stud you called in when things didn’t go your way? You think I’m gonna stand here and act like none of this matters?”
Tommy scoffed as he looked at his brother. “You think it does matter? What—you catch feelings after a couple fucks and now you think she’s yours?”
Your heart lurched at the venom in his words. Joel stepped even closer, his voice low and even and deadly calm.
“I think I was there when she couldn’t stop throwing up for three days straight. I think I was the one bringing her crackers and Pedialyte at two in the goddamn morning. And where the hell were you? Out with Frank again?”
He didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Just kept his eyes locked on his brother.
“I was there when she had those dizzy spells. When she got scared something was wrong. When she cried through the whole damn glucose test because you were too busy to answer your phone.”
He stepped forward in front of you. Steady. Final. “So yeah. I think I’ve earned the right to stand here. And I think you better watch your damn mouth when you talk about her like that.”
You stood frozen, heart in your throat, Joel’s words echoing louder than the silence that followed. You hadn’t expected him to speak—not like that. Not so plainly.
But maybe what scared you more was how much it meant to hear someone fight for you.
And then Tommy looked at Joel. Really looked at him. “Tell me the truth. You wanted her the whole time, didn’t you?”
Joel’s voice was tight. “That’s not fair.”
“Answer me.”
Joel looked down, breathed once, then met his brother’s eyes. “It didn’t start like that.”
“But it is like that now, huh?” Tommy’s voice broke. “You think you can just stand in my house, in my life, and pretend this is yours now?”
Joel’s voice cut in, sharp. “That’s enough.”
Tommy shook his head, face red. “Get the hell out of my house.”
“I’m not leavin’ her,” Joel said. “Not when you’re actin’ like this.”
“You don’t get to—”
“She’s pregnant,” Joel bit out, stepping into Tommy's space. “And you’re standing here yelling like she hasn’t been carryin’ all this on alone for weeks.”
“Alone?!” Tommy exploded—but you stepped between them before either could say another word.
“He’s right.” Your voice wavered, but it didn’t break. “That’s enough.”
You pressed a finger into Tommy’s chest, trembling with everything you hadn’t said.
“You’re the one who asked for this, Tommy. You’re the one who said you could handle it. And now you want to punish me–what? For trying to make this work even when you barely look at me anymore? I’m trying, Tommy.” You shook your head, blinking back tears. “Don’t rewrite this like I betrayed you. I already took the blame for my mistakes. We moved forward, we agreed this would be the three of us.”
Tommy stared at you like he didn’t recognize you.
“You want him here?” he asked, voice hollow. “Playin’ daddy, picking names for our baby in our house? Fine. But don’t act like I’m crazy for wanting my wife back.”
He didn’t stop when you called his name. He turned, shoved past Joel—hard enough to make it known—and stormed out.
The door slammed.
And just like that, the nursery was silent again.
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Before
Joel never had a party phase. 
He never did the college thing. No keg stands, no spring breaks, no waking up in someone else's dorm bed not remembering how he got there. Never packed into a room with three roommates and a GameCube. By the time most guys his age were skipping class and shotgunning beers, he was knee-deep in diapers and formula receipts. 
He graduated high school, married his pregnant girlfriend, and tried to do the right thing. And within a year, Sarah was born—and Jess was gone. Real gone. Not a slow unravel. More like a door slamming and a trail of dust behind her.
He told himself she was never meant to be a mom. Hell, they were both still just kids at the time.
But that didn’t make it right. Didn’t make it easier, either. She left the baby. Left him. Just checked out and never looked back.
So when one of Tommy’s friends invited them to some frat party, Joel didn’t see the point. He tried to beg off, mumbled something about Sarah needing him, even as valid as that was. But Tommy had already lined up a sitter and wasn’t about to let him off the hook.
“You need a night, man,” he’d said. “Just one damn night to remember what it’s like to have a pulse.”
So Joel went.
And now, he stood just inside the front door of a house packed with strangers, wondering what the hell he was doing here.
The place smelled like beer, sweat, cheap cologne, and microwave pizza. Every surface was sticky. A girl brushed past him, laughing too loud, perfume trailing behind her like cotton candy and alcohol. Guys with shaggy hair and flip-flops shouted over the blare of some terrible pop track, slapping each other on the backs like they’d just survived war.
Joel felt old. Not in years. In miles.
These kids weren’t that much younger than him, technically. But they weren’t people who'd held a screaming newborn at 3 a.m. They weren’t worried about overdue bills or busted radiators. These were the types who’d call home if they overdrew their account and had money wired to them in an hour.
He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and slipped through the crowd, trying not to bump into anyone. A couple was making out against the fridge in the kitchen as he grabbed a red solo cup of beer. Someone was throwing up in the sink. There were Doritos crushed under his boots.
He needed air.
The back door stuck a little when he pushed it open. He stepped onto the porch, the screen door slapping shut behind him with a squeal. Out here, it was quieter. Cooler. The music still thudded through the house like a pulse, but it was distant now—muted by the walls and the steady hum of crickets in the yard.
A few people lingered at the far end of the porch, passing a joint back and forth, slouched on the railing and talking low. One guy stood off to the side with a cigarette between his fingers.
Joel walked over, nodding once.
“Hey,” he said, voice low. “Can I bum one?”
The guy didn’t say anything, just held out the pack and a lighter.
Joel took both. Lit the cigarette and handed them back with a quiet thanks.
He hadn’t smoked since Jess told him she was pregnant. He quit cold turkey that day—barely even missed it. But tonight? He needed something to bite back the tightness in his chest. Something to ground him. He’d shower the second he got home anyway, throw his clothes straight in the wash before checking on his sleeping toddler. 
God, he wished he was already there.
The smoke burned a little as it hit the back of his throat. He exhaled slow, watching it curl up into the porch light.
Time passed. People wandered back inside. The weed-smokers disappeared. The porch emptied out until it was just him.
Joel leaned against the railing and let his shoulders drop. He pulled out his old blocky cellphone, flipped it open with a quiet snap. No missed calls from the babysitter. No voicemails.
He stared at the screen a second longer than he needed to. Just making sure.
He almost wished there was something. A reason to leave. A reason to get the hell outta here and go home. But everything seemed fine. He closed the phone and slipped it back into his pocket, jaw tightening as he took another drag of the cigarette between his fingers.
Just as he was settling into the quiet, the back door creaked open again. He didn’t look to see who it was, just figured it was some more potheads needing to get their fix. But he was surprised when he looked up, that his sudden gravitational pull felt off balance. 
You stepped outside, fingers gripping the neck of a beer bottle, bringing it to your lips that shined in the moonlight from whatever gloss you had swiped across them tonight. Your black tank top clung to every inch of your chest and your mid-drift peeked below until your jeans that hung low on your hips, hugged you perfectly. 
When you made your way out onto the porch, you looked like you didn’t owe the world shit, that you didn’t give a shit if anyone noticed you. But he noticed you. Everyone probably did.
Joel couldn’t stop staring.
When your eyes met his, it was like the world blinked. Just a beat—long enough to catch, short enough to question. And then you didn’t look away.
You tilted your head, your eyes glancing down at the beer and cigarette in his hand.
“That cheap stuff tastes like shit,” you said, “Like it came outta someone’s shoe. You’re better off with the good stuff.” you dangled your beer bottle up, shaking it just a little to show off you weren’t drinking from the keg. 
“Not really one to drink it for the taste,” Joel said. You moved forward with a small smile.
“Mind if I take a hit off that?” you said smoothly, pointing to the cigarette.
He handed it to you wordlessly, and watched, entranced despite himself as your glossy lips wrapped around it, the ember burning at the tip.
“Told my parents I quit,” you said, blowing out the smoke, “Which is true. But nights like this make me a liar,”
Joel liked the way you talked. Dry, confident, like you were letting him in on your world. You weren’t fawning, weren’t giggling. You were sharp. Maybe a little reckless. Probably younger than him by a year or two, but smarter than half the house of partygoers combined.
“Don’t think I’ve seen you around,” you said, handing him back the cigarette.
He shrugged. “That’s probably a good thing.”
You sipped your drink. “So you don’t go here?”
“Nah. Not exactly the academic type. Friend of a friend invited us out.”
You nodded, still watching him. The cigarette passed quietly between the two of you.
“And by ‘us,’ I’m guessin’ you mean...?”
“My brother,” he answered, “He’s around here somewhere. He’s better at this kinda scene than me.”
“I don’t know,” you said. “You seem to be doing just fine.”
Joel looked at you then—really looked—and felt something low in his chest shift, just slightly off-center. Your hair was pulled back in a pony-tail, big eyes that had no business looking at him like you were.
He huffed, barely a smile. “Don’t know about that.”
You shrugged, but didn’t look away. “You’ve got that whole brooding-loner thing going for you. Girls eat that shit up.”
Joel raised an eyebrow. “That so?”
“Mhm.” You took another sip of your beer, slow and deliberate. “I’ve been out here, what—five minutes? I can already tell. Not even trying, and yet you look like you’ve got some kind of tragic backstory.”
He snorted, caught somewhere between amused and flustered. “Not sure that’s a compliment.”
“It is,” you said, leaning in a little, just enough that your voice dropped slightly. “You wear it well.”
Joel swallowed once, felt the heat crawl up the back of his neck. You were watching him like you already knew how he’d taste. Like you were just deciding whether or not it’d be worth the trouble.
He cleared his throat, looked down at his boots for half a second, then back up.
“What about you?” he asked. “You come to these things just to psychoanalyze strangers with your imported beer?”
“No, silly.” You smiled, slow and confident. “I come for the free cigarettes and hot strangers to psychoanalyze.”
Joel huffed a soft breath, smirk faint but real. He flicked ash off the end of the cigarette, not quite looking at you when he said, “Don’t know if I fit the bill on that second one.”
Your eyes didn’t leave him. “On the contrary, mystery man, pretty sure you’re tickin’ all the boxes.”
And Joel—God help him—he forgot his own name for a second.
He leaned a little closer, felt the pull of you like gravity. His fingers twitched with the urge to touch your waist, to tuck a piece of your hair that fell from your ponytail back just so he could feel what it was like between his fingers. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe ever.
You were about to say something else, he could sense it, that moment between beats when something clicks open, but then a girl stumbled out the back door, making you turn as she grabbed your arm.
“Hey!” she slurred, glancing between the two of you before locking eyes with you. “I need you—seriously, Stacey’s throwing up and she just called freaking Mark, and she’s, like, sobbing—please come help.”
You looked over, face twisting with reluctant affection. “Shit. Yeah, okay.” you turned back to him, apology written all over your face, handing him back the nearly burnt out cigarette.
“Duty calls,” Joel said with a short nod.
“I’ll find you later?” you offered, a little breathless, and before he could reply, you were gone–swept back into the house, the music blaring for the moment the door was open, then leaving him out in the quiet again.
He stood there like a damn idiot, heart still pounding. He couldn’t even remember what he’d said to you—just a blur of cigarette smoke and smart little smiles.
You didn’t ask his name.
He didn’t ask yours.
But you’d looked at him like you already knew him.
The porch felt quieter now. Emptier, somehow, like you’d taken the oxygen with you when you left.
He took one last drag from the cigarette, flicked it into the yard, and let the silence wrap around him. Music still pulsed faintly from inside, muted now, swallowed by the thick summer air. A few fireflies blinked out by the fence. The sky above was dark and low, stars peeking through the haze of humidity and porch light glow.
He braced his hands on the railing and stared out at nothing for a long minute.
Eventually, he straightened up, ran a hand down his face, and turned back toward the house. He hadn’t seen Tommy in a while, and if he didn’t check in soon, he might completely lose track of his little brother.
Still… he glanced at the door once more before heading inside, like maybe you’d reappear if he looked hard enough.
You didn’t.
So he opened the door and stepped back into the noise. The music hit harder now—bass thrumming straight through his chest, like it was syncing up with his pulse. Everything felt louder, warmer, just a little off-kilter. The crowd moved in flashes—glimpses of faces, glitter, teeth, hands in the air—and Joel moved through it like he wasn’t fully there.
Maybe it was the beer. Maybe it was you.
He made his way through the crowd slowly, eyes skimming over the living room couches, checking the faces of couples tangled together, wondering if Tommy was caught in some sort of lip lock with a random girl by now.
“Joel!”
He blinked and turned toward the sound.
There was his little brother, shoving his way through the crowd, hair messy, cheeks flushed from beer and the thrill of whatever he’d been up to. He looked like he’d just won a bet or found twenty bucks on the sidewalk.
Joel raised an eyebrow. “You good?”
Tommy grabbed his arm, grinning like an idiot. “Better than good.”
Joel gave him a look, dry. “You’re drunk.”
“I’m in love,” Tommy announced.
Joel snorted. “Jesus Christ.”
“I’m serious, man.” Tommy’s eyes were gleaming. “I just met the girl I’m gonna marry.”
Joel shook his head, a smile creeping over his face. Only his little brother.
“Where?” he asked, playing along.
Tommy spun, rising on his toes to look above the crowd. “She went back that way. Wait—hold up—there.” He pointed past the kitchen, toward the hall that led to the bathrooms and the back patio.
Joel’s eyes followed his hand.
And landed on you.
You were standing beside your drunk friend, your brows knitted as you held a water bottle to her lips, gently brushing hair back from her face. Still impossibly beautiful. Still glowing in a way that had nothing to do with the lighting or the beer or the gloss on your lips.
And Tommy was pointing at you.
Joel didn’t move. Couldn’t.
“D’you see her?” Tommy said. “Little tank top, high ponytail—God, man, she’s—fuck. She smiled at me and I swear I felt it in my spine. I’m gonna find her after her friend’s chill. She said she’d come back.”
Joel’s mouth opened. Then closed.
Because what the hell was he supposed to say?
Joel nodded once, slowly. “Yeah. I see her.”
Tommy clapped his back. “She’s everything, man.”
Joel didn’t answer. Just took a long drink of his beer.
And said nothing at all.
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Present Day
You were silent as you climbed into Joel’s truck, his hand reaching for yours—rough, steady, warm—lifting you carefully onto the bench seat with your full belly.
Tears still clung to your lashes, blurring the view out the passenger window as you looked up at the house. At the window just above the garage. The one that led into the nursery.
The one where it all fell apart.
Your heart ached—not just from the fight, but from the truth in it. The worst part was… you understood Tommy. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was right. Maybe not about everything, but enough. Enough to leave a sting that wouldn’t fade anytime soon.
But that man inside the house—yelling, jealous, eyes full of something that looked too much like hate—he didn’t feel like the Tommy you knew. The man you married filled the house with music and laughter, who sang off-key in the shower and danced you around the living room with a beer in one hand and your waist in the other. He made late-night grilled cheese and kissed you with his whole heart, like he couldn’t believe you were real. He was your best friend. The one who stayed up with you talking nonsense into the middle of the night. The one who brought you coffee just the way you liked it. The one who made everything feel like the two of you were in it together—always.
He used to listen. Really listen. He was open. Curious. Soft where you needed softness and strong where you didn’t even realize you needed strength.
Where had that man gone?
Where had you gone?
“He just needs some time,” Joel said softly as if hearing your thoughts as he started the truck. It rumbled to life, and all you could do was bluntly nod, your throat too tight. 
“Thanks–” you choked out, “For…I don’t know.” You shook your head. What the hell were you thanking him for? Sticking up for you to your own husband? Getting you out of your own house? Sitting beside you like the only steady thing left while everything else went to hell?
Maybe just… being here.
Joel didn’t answer. He just kept driving, one hand on the wheel, the other resting palm-down on the bench between you. Like if you needed it, his hand, his steadiness, his silence…it would be there.
You sat in it—the hum of the engine, the wind coming through the windows, the muffled ache in your chest—while familiar streets gave way to unfamiliar ones. Houses changed. Yards grew wider. You passed the sign for Joel’s neighborhood, only a few miles away, but it felt like crossing a border into a different world.
“Do you remember,” Joel said, breaking the silence, “when we first met?”
You blinked, looked over at him, trying to come back to the present. “Huh?”
He didn’t look at you. Just kept his eyes on the road, but his voice was warm and comforting. That southern drawl like velvet. “You were in school. Tommy and I got dragged to some party by a buddy of ours.”
“Oh… right.” You blinked through the cobwebs of the memory. “Back when I thought I was cool for liking even grosser beer.”
Joel let out a quiet laugh at that. Just a puff of air through his nose, but it softened the edges of the truck’s cab.
“Yeah.” he sighed heavily, hand coming up to his chin as he leaned against his side door.
“What about it?”
He shook his head a little, jaw working, his fingers regripping the wheel. The leather creaked.
“Just funny how it all…” He trailed off. Exhaled. “I don’t know. Nevermind”
You studied him, brow furrowing. “What were you gonna say?”
At the next red light, he finally looked over.
His eyes met yours across the bench seat—deep, quiet, and full of something raw. Something you had been seeing more of since whatever this was had started. 
A part of Joel no one else ever saw.
Your heart kicked at the look on his face. Like he was standing on a ledge and just now realizing how far the drop really was.
“It’s just…” Joel’s voice dropped. “I knew you first.”
You blinked, your brow furrowing deeper. “Tommy introduced us that night.”
Joel shook his head, eyes back on the road now, but there was a small smile twitching at his lips. “Nah, if I remember right, you bummed my only cigarette off me on the back porch. Spent ten minutes tryna figure me out like some sort of shrink.”
You let out a small, breathy laugh, the corner of your mouth lifting. You didn’t fully remember it, not clearly—but it felt right.
“Sounds like me, I guess.”
Joel’s fingers drummed once against the wheel, then stilled. “I just… I wonder sometimes.”
“Wonder what?”
The light turned green.
He didn’t answer right away. Just stepped on the gas. The truck lurched forward.
The golden hour light slanted across his face, catching the hard lines of his profile, the scar at his temple, the way his jaw twitched like he was biting down on something he’d been holding back for years.
“I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d had the guts to tell my brother I saw you first.”
You didn’t say anything.
There wasn’t anything to say.
The cab filled with silence. The kind that settled in your chest and turned tides in your stomach. The kind that said more than words ever could.
Outside the window, the trees blurred past in a haze of dying light.
And neither of you reached to turn on the radio.
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When the truck pulled into the driveway, the sky was streaked in burnt orange and lavender, the last light stretching long across the hood. Joel was quick to hop out, moving around to your side before the engine had fully ticked quiet. He opened your door and held out his hand without a word.
You took it gingerly, wincing as your body shifted with effort. Six months in, everything took a little more.
He helped you down slow, steady, his hand catching at the crook of your elbow before it slid down to the small of your back as you found your footing. He kept it there as you walked toward the house—not holding you up, not rushing. Just… there.
When you stepped inside, you blinked at the silence.
“No Sarah?”
“She’s studyin’ at her friend’s. They got their exams comin’ up now,” he said, pulling the front door shut behind you. He toed off his boots near the mat, and you followed suit, groaning as you kicked yours off. Your feet were beyond swollen.
“Can we order a pizza or something? I’m dying,” you muttered, pressing a hand into the small of your back and arching until it cracked. The relief was minimal, but it was something.
Joel glanced over. His eyes skimmed your face, down to your belly, then back again. “Why don’t you sit down,” he said, already heading toward the kitchen. “I’ll make somethin’. It’ll be quick.”
You hovered near the table, one hand resting on the slope of your belly. The house was quiet. You hesitated, unsure.
“I don’t mind,” he added. “Just relax a minute.”
You wandered to the table and eased down into a chair, the weight of the day heavier now that you weren’t pretending it wasn’t. The silence of the house pressed in at the edges. You stared at the wood grain in the table. Breathed in the faint scent of garlic still lingering in the air from whatever he was fixing up. It all felt… normal. Which made it worse.
Joel moved around the kitchen, pulling things from the fridge. A box of pasta. A jar of sauce. His movements were easy, practiced.
You didn’t speak until he was chopping something—onions maybe, the soft rhythmic knock of the knife filling the space.
“I don’t know what happened,” you said quietly.
He glanced up.
You weren’t even sure where the words had come from, but they were out now.
“Things were okay. Good, even. Me and Tommy. Me and you. It felt like we were getting into a rhythm. But the last few weeks…”
Joel didn’t say anything. He just kept chopping. Listening.
You pressed your hand over your belly. “Feels like the closer we get, the more he pulls away. Like he’s finally seeing what this is gonna look like and—” Your voice cracked. You swallowed. “—and I don’t think he likes it.”
Joel set the knife down, wiped his hands on a towel. He didn’t push. Just looked at you across the counter.
“You don’t have to figure it all out tonight,” he said. “You can stay here, if you want. I’m not sure when Sarah’s gettin’ home, but… we can watch a movie or somethin’. Just… take your mind off it.”
You nodded slowly, eyes burning. “I’m just really tired, honestly.”
He understood, turning back to his cooking on the stove. You sat there, eyes unfocused, listening to the low simmer of the sauce, the clink of dishes, the soft scrape of silverware being laid out. So domestic and easy.
Before long, dinner was ready. Nothing fancy—just pasta with a little garlic, some toasted bread, and water poured into mismatched glasses.
You sat across from each other at the table, the kitchen bathed in that soft in-between light, not quite night yet.
The food was warm. The silence was easy. Neither of you said much, and that was fine. Joel wasn’t the type to fill quiet just to hear himself talk, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend you were okay. So you ate. Slowly. Each bite keeping you tethered to reality a little more.
He looked up once, just briefly, like he was checking on you without making a thing of it. You caught it but didn’t say anything. Just kept eating, your hand resting against the curve of your stomach.
By the time your plate was mostly cleared, the exhaustion was creeping back in full force—behind your eyes, in your limbs, settling deep.
Joel stood and grabbed your empty dish without a word. Washed it. Dried it. Set it aside.
Then he turned to you, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Come on. Let’s get you upstairs.”
You didn’t argue. You just stood, slowly, your joints stiff from sitting too long. His hand found your back again, that same steady pressure, guiding you through the quiet house like it was muscle memory.
When you reached the bedroom, you sat on the edge of his bed, the familiar scent of his cologne and detergent wrapping around you like a weighted blanket. Usually, it stirred something electric in your blood—lit a fuse that burned hot and fast. But tonight, it was grounding. Comforting. A balm for something deeper.
Joel gave you the softest smile, the kind he rarely let anyone see, then knelt in front of you and began to pull your socks off—slow, careful. His hands were warm, calloused in all the familiar ways, but his touch was gentler than usual. Reverent, even. He slid your pants down next, then your shirt, peeling each layer away without rush or heat.
This wasn’t the same kind of hunger he’d shown you before—wasn’t the fierce, consuming need that usually lived in the space between these sheets. This was something else. Something quieter. Worship without fire.
He stepped away for a moment, grabbed one of his sleep shirts from the dresser. You raised your arms, and he pulled it over your head with care, letting it fall over your bump and thighs. It smelled like him. Made you feel like you were wrapped in him.
Then he started to undress—slow and casual, unbothered by your gaze—and turned toward the bathroom as he unbuttoned his jeans.
“I’m gonna shower,” he said softly, voice low and rasped from the day as he shucked off the last of his clothing. “You go on and get comfortable.”
You nodded, watching him go.
And God, that view.
Joel’s bare back was broad, solid, built like it belonged to another time—hewn from marble and made to be seen on Greek statues of Achilles or Aries. You couldn’t help but stare at his tight, perky ass that always looked like it was made just for your hands.
He was so thoroughly masculine. So undeniably made from earth and sweat and quiet strength, it made something low in you ache—blood warming, mouth going dry. Even now. Even after the day you’d had.
That pull toward him never let up these days. Not really. It just shifted, simmered, and waited.
After a moment of sitting in patient silence, you eased yourself into the bed, shifting slowly beneath the sheets until the pressure on your hips and back lightened. You reached for the remote and turned Joel’s TV on low—just enough sound to fill the quiet without pulling you in. A dull hum. Something to keep the thoughts from circling too tight.
You pulled your phone out, thumb hovering before you typed the message. A small knot formed in your stomach, tight and uneasy.
I love you. I still want this with you. Can we talk in the morning?
You stared at it for a second longer than you should’ve. Then you hit send.
With a quiet sigh, you turned the phone face-down on the nightstand. You weren’t sure if you expected a reply. You weren’t even sure if you wanted one. But he deserved to know where you were, even if probably already assumed. You didn’t want him thinking you’d just given up or disappeared.
The door to the bathroom opened a few minutes later, a wave of steam curling into the bedroom as Joel stepped out, toweling off his hair. A dark towel hung low on his hips, drops of water trailing down his chest, catching in the lines of muscle carved from years of labor.
He moved toward his dresser, rifling through a drawer for something clean to sleep in.
You shifted onto your side, the tension in your belly easing with the change in position. One arm tucked beneath your bump, the other bent under your head. You watched him move, quiet and unbothered by your gaze.
“Enjoyin’ the view?” he asked, not even looking up, his voice thick with amusement.
You heard the smile in his voice before you saw it, that boyish grin flicking over his shoulder as he turned toward you.
His eyes caught yours from across the room. Your smile mirrored his.
“Definitely,” you said, voice soft but sure.
Joel chuckled under his breath, the sound low and rough as he pulled a clean shirt over his head and stepped into a pair of loose flannel sleep shorts. He didn’t rush—never did—but there was something different in the way he moved now. Something quieter, like the air between you had thickened just a little.
He turned off the bathroom light and crossed the room, climbing into bed behind you without a word. The mattress dipped under his weight, and then his arm was sliding around your waist, pulling you gently against him.
His chest pressed to your back, one of his legs curling around yours. His body was warm from the shower, and the scent of soap clung to his skin—clean and comforting, with that lingering hint of spice that was just him.
You exhaled slowly, letting yourself sink into the feeling. Into him.
Joel’s hand rested low on your belly for a beat, thumb brushing absent circles against the soft cotton of his shirt stretched over it. It felt instinctual, protective. Like his body had already memorized the shape of yours, the places that needed soothing.
“You alright?” he asked quietly, lips close to your ear.
You nodded, not trusting your voice just yet. “Yeah.” you said, swallowing dryly, “Just… nice to not be alone.”
He hummed in agreement, nuzzling the back of your neck gently. “You’re not,” he said. “Not tonight.”
His hand slipped up beneath the hem of his shirt you were wearing, fingers grazing your bare skin—light, curious, like he was just reminding himself of the feel of you. That he was still allowed to touch you like this.
You shifted slightly, giving him room. The smallest invitation.
Then—he stilled.
You felt it too. A soft nudge from inside, low and to the left. The baby moved again, a firm little kick right against Joel’s palm.
His breath caught. He didn’t pull away.
“Was that…?” he asked, voice low and rough, like he couldn’t believe it.
You smiled into the pillow. “Yeah. Think he’s saying hi.”
Joel didn’t speak. Didn’t move. Just stayed there, hand wide over your belly, chest pressed to your back. You felt him swallow, the rise and fall of his breath slowing as he processed it—really felt it.
“That’s…” he exhaled, the sound brushing the back of your neck. “Wow. He’s strong.”
“Tell me about it,” you murmured with a soft groan, shifting your hips to ease the pressure. Then your hand reached back, finding his cheek, fingers curling gently as you turned your head to look at him. “Those Miller genes must make tough boys.”
Joel gave a quiet huff of a smile, but his eyes stayed on your belly. On his hand, still moving slow under your shirt, like he was memorizing every curve.
“I wouldn’t… this wouldn’t be real without you,” you said quietly, your thumb brushing his jaw. “No matter how messy it gets. You’re part of this. He’s here because of you.”
His gaze flicked to yours then—steady, searching, something unreadable in it. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t pull away either. His fingers spread wider over your belly, grounding himself in the feel of it. Of you. Of him. The little life shifting beneath his hand.
Then he leaned in.
His lips met yours, slow and sure. The brush of his beard tickled your chin, your lips, your shoulder as he breathed you in. Your mouths molded together easily, unhurried, familiar.
The hand on your belly shifted—sliding lower, then wrapping around your hips to pull you closer into him. His body curved around yours, heat pressing into your back, chest to spine, hips tucked tight flush against yours. You could feel him against you as the moment turned heated, solid and wanting beneath his pants.
Still, he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.
Your fingers curled behind his neck, pulling him closer as your tongue brushed his. A soft, low sound slipped from his throat, almost like a whimper.
He kissed you more and more, each second growing a little needier. His hand slid further beneath the hem of the shirt you wore—his shirt—palm grazing your stomach, your ribs, until his fingers found the soft underside of your breast. He cupped you gently, thumb stroking over the sensitive skin, slow circles that made your breath stutter.
“You tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” he murmured against your mouth, but his hands stayed steady and gentle against your soft skin.
Your breath caught, but not from surprise. It was the way he said it—low, honest, a little desperate under all that restraint.
“I don’t want you to,” you whispered back.
That was all he needed. He groaned softly, deep in his chest, and kissed you again as you arched into him, pressing your chest against his palm, the ache blooming fast and low inside you. His touch grew firmer, more certain, squeezing and caressing, dragging another soft gasp from your lips.
Joel shifted, rolling his hips against you slowly, deliberately. You felt him thick and hard through his shorts, grinding into the curve of your ass with a low exhale.
“You look so pretty like this,” he murmured against your skin, voice thick with heat. His mouth trailed down the side of your face, beard scraping your cheek, your jaw, your neck as he kissed you slowly. “Belly all big and swollen with our baby, like it was always supposed to be this way.”
You moaned softly, your breath catching as your hips rocked back to meet him, chasing the friction. His hand slid from your breast down to your belly, splaying wide as he held you there, possessive and tender all at once. You whimpered, the heat between your legs only growing as he ground into you again, deeper now, his cock rubbing right against your soaked core through your panties and his shorts. The friction was maddening, so close, but not enough.
Joel groaned, voice breaking as he rutted against you. “You feel that? How bad I want you? How much I need you?”
His hand drifted down, slow and greedy, rubbing his calloused fingers over your covered mound. Then he pushed the fabric aside, dipping into your folds—slick and aching—and swore under his breath.
“Christ,” he muttered, thick with awe. “You’re soaked, honey. Already drippin’ for me.” His lips brushed your ear. “Already knocked up with my baby, and you still need more, huh?”
“Yes, Joel—please,” you gasped, your voice breaking. You lifted your knee, spreading your legs wider for him, offering everything.
“I know, darlin’,” he rasped, fingers gathering more of your slick, moving in slow, delicious circles around your clit. “Gonna make you come so many times before I even get my cock in you.”
You cried out softly as two of his thick fingers pushed inside with no hesitation, just the perfect stretch as he filled you. Your head dropped back against his shoulder, mouth falling open as pleasure bloomed bright and hot beneath your skin.
His lips grazed your neck, then your shoulder, the scruff of his beard scraping gently as his tongue licked a slow line over your pulse. He growled into your skin, low and deep, like he wanted to sink his teeth into you.
“That’s it,” he murmured, fingers curling deep as you pulsed around them. “You feel that? That’s me takin’ care of you. My girl.”
“So—so good, Joel,” you moaned, hips rolling to meet each thrust of his fingers. “Please. More.”
He hummed behind you, the sound dark and indulgent. He pulled his fingers out, slick and shining, and brought them up to circle your swollen clit, slow and firm.
“Look at you,” he whispered. “Completely fucked out and I haven’t even touched you properly yet. You love this, don’t you? Show me how much you need this.”
Your only answer was a moan, ragged and high as your body arched for him, chasing every stroke like it was oxygen. Joel kissed your neck again, then your jaw, voice rough and trembling. His fingers didn’t let up the slow, steady circles over your clit, so firm and perfect. His other hand had slid beneath your body, wrapping and anchoring you against him.
The pleasure climbed fast, stealing your breath, your thoughts. Your hips rolled helplessly, grinding into his hand, chasing that friction, that pressure, desperate to crest at the edge.
Your back arched against him, and your head tilted, lips parting on a ragged moan, “Joel—oh god—”
Your orgasm hit sharp and sudden. Your body seized, fluttering around nothing, thighs clenching tight as his fingers kept moving, easing you through it. He didn’t stop. Not when your hips jerked, not when your breath stuttered into sobs. Not even when your legs started to shake.
“C’mon, sweet girl,” he growled against you, “Again. Know you can do it.” 
His mouth was everywhere as he said it—your neck, your shoulder, your cheek—kissing you with a reverence that bordered on ruinous.
You barely had a moment to breathe before his fingers dipped back inside you. Two again, deep and slow, curling just right, the heel of his palm offering friction against your aching and sensitive clit. Your body responded instantly to him, your back curling further into him.
You whimpered, hand fisting in the sheets. He curled his fingers again, thick and warm as they pushed against the spot inside you that made your eyes roll back.  The second wave crept up slower, thicker, your limbs going soft and heavy even as your core tightened like a coil wound to the point of snapping.
You moaned, louder this time, body trembling in his arms.
“Joel—Joel, I—”
“I know, sweet girl,” he rasped, his mouth brushing your ear, fingers still working you with unrelenting care. “Can feel your pussy grippin’ my fingers. Be a good girl now and give me another.”
Your breath caught on a sob as your body shattered again—this one deeper, longer, stealing the last of your strength. You came with a choked cry, thighs trembling, hips bucking against his hand. Your muscles clung to his fingers like they were the only thing tethering you to the world, your body instinctively holding onto him, knowing he was the one who did this to you.
Joel held you through it. His palm stayed firm and grounding over your belly while the other hand slowed, easing you down from the high. His fingers remained inside, stroking you with reverence as your body twitched and shook with the aftershocks.
Then he brought his fingers up—slick and shining with your arousal—and kissed your cheek, slow and warm.
His voice dropped to a gravelly whisper at your ear, full of control and hunger.
“Open.”
It wasn’t a request. It was a honey-laced command, thick with heat and tension.
You obeyed.
Your lips parted, and his fingers slid into your mouth. The moment his knuckles brushed your lips, you closed around them, tongue flattening beneath as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him in. The taste of yourself on his skin was heady, electric.
A low rumble of satisfaction vibrated deep in Joel’s chest.
He pulled his fingers free with a slow drag and gripped your jaw with that same hand, still wet, turning your face toward him as he leaned in and kissed you—hungry, consuming. Your hand flew to his hair, twisting in the dark hair at the base of his neck as his tongue pushed into your mouth, both of you moaning into each other like it hurt to be apart for even a second.
His body pressed tighter to yours, and you felt him—thick and heavy, and his hand moved between you, tugging your panties down your thighs, off entirely, leaving you bare for him.
One hand wrapped around the base of his cock, guiding himself to your soaked entrance. He rubbed the swollen head through your folds, slow and teasing, gathering your slick as your breath hitched.
Then he lined himself up, the broad head pushing against your opening. The stretch made you gasp, even after everything he’d already given you. You wondered for a moment if you’d ever get used to the stretch of him splitting you in two.
You reached for him instinctively, needing him closer, deeper. Joel’s hand returned to your belly, spreading wide, anchoring you again as he sank into you.
Slow. Deep. Devastating.
You moaned, the sound trembling out of you, as he filled you inch by inch—no rush, no mercy. He buried himself to the hilt with a guttural groan, your walls fluttering around him in helpless welcome.
Your eyes fluttered shut, body arching back into him, completely surrounded by him. He held still for a beat, just feeling you pulling him in deeper. You whispered his name, and he exhaled shakily against your neck.
He stayed there for a moment, fully buried, like it took everything in him not to come right then as he let you adjust. He was so thick, stretching you as your walls fluttered with every uneven breath you took. And Joel felt it—every twitch, every pulse. His hand splayed across your belly like he needed to hold onto something solid before he lost control entirely.
“Fuck,” he groaned, voice torn and low. “You feel that? Feel how deep I am inside you?”
You whimpered, barely able to speak, body already fluttering around him in overstimulated waves. Your hands clutched at the sheets, at his arm, at anything you could find.
He pulled back just an inch and pushed in again, slow and heavy, dragging another desperate moan from your throat.
“Mine,” he growled, almost like he hadn’t meant to say it, but it slipped out as his cock felt you gripping him, quivering around him. His hips rolled into you again, grinding deep, making you cry out.
“You were made for this,” he rasped, kissing your neck, your shoulder, his hand gripping your breast now, fingers toying with your nipple. “For me. Made to be full of me—my cock, my cum, my baby.”
You gasped, arching into his touch, your body trembling from how completely he owned you in this moment. He thrust again—harder now, still slow but deeper, rougher. You could swear you could feel him in your stomach as he rutted into you.
You sobbed his name, overwhelmed, wrecked, clinging to him like he was your gravity.
His mouth dropped to your ear again, voice dark and shaking.
“You don’t even know what you do to me,” he whispered. “Can’t stop thinkin’ about it—how sweet you look like this. Belly round, tits heavy, pussy so fuckin’ wet for me I could drown in it.”
Another deep thrust. Another broken sound from your lips.
“Fuckin’ mine,” he growled, hips snapping harder now, losing rhythm in his need. “All of it. Every inch of you.”
He wrapped his arm under your belly again, lifting just enough to hold you steady, like you were something precious, fragile—his.
“I don’t care what happens tomorrow,” he said, thrusting slow and deep, burying his cock to the hilt. “Right now, you’re mine. This body’s mine. This pussy—” he grunted, grinding into you until your toes curled “—fuckin’ belongs to me.”
And you could only nod, barely breathing, gasping his name as the heat built again, faster this time, rising wild and uncontrollable between your legs. It was nearly Pavlovian how fast this man could bring your body to the edge within minutes.
Your body was already trembling again, every nerve stretched to its breaking point, and Joel felt it. He sensed it in the way your breath hitched, your thighs tensed, your walls fluttered around him. He thrusted deeper, slower, the weight of him unbearable in the best way. His hand slid between your legs, fingers circling your clit with practiced, devastating precision.
“You’re close again,” he muttered, lips at your ear. “I can feel it. Pussy’s already startin’ to milk me, like you need it. Need to come on my cock, huh, baby?”
You whimpered something incoherent, your nails digging into his arm as your hips rocked into every thrust, chasing that final wave. The pleasure was blinding, your body overstimulated but desperate. His voice. His hands. The way he filled you like nothing else ever could.
Then—barely above a whisper, like it wasn’t meant for you at all, “He could never give you this.”
Joel’s voice cracked around the words. Still deep. Still raw. But it shook.
“What I give you… how I make you feel...”
You sobbed out a moan, and that was it. Your body shattered, pleasure exploding through you so violently your legs kicked and shook, your cries muffled by the sheets. You clenched around him, tight and relentless, pulling him with you.
“Fuck—fuck, baby—” Joel groaned, losing himself, grinding deep into you as your orgasm ripped through you.
He cursed again, low and guttural, his hips jerking as he spilled into you with a strangled moan. The sound of his voice, wrecked and unguarded was enough to send another shiver down your spine.
He didn’t stop moving, not at first. Slow, instinctive rolls of his hips, keeping his cock deep inside you, like he couldn’t stand to pull away just yet.
You lay there, both of you trembling, still joined, his chest heaving against your back, his arms locked around your belly like you might disappear if he let go.
You hummed softly as he slid out of you, the loss of him making your body twitch with oversensitivity. He didn’t go far, his arms just curled tighter around you, pulling you into his chest like he couldn’t get enough of your skin. His face tucked into your neck, breathing you in like oxygen.
You closed your eyes and let him hold you, your hand resting on top of his where it lay over your belly.
“Joel?” you asked gently once your breath came back to you.
He hummed in response, tired and wrecked, lips brushing your skin.
“What did you mean earlier?”
You felt him tense—just barely. A flicker of hesitation. His breath slowed, deepened, like reality was creeping back in and neither of you could stop it.
“When?” he asked, low and cautious.
You swallowed hard, your voice quiet but certain. “You said… you wonder what would’ve happened if you told Tommy…”
I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d had the guts to tell my brother I saw you first.
You could feel the words hanging there between you, unspoken but known. 
Joel sucked in a breath and exhaled slowly before shifting, pulling away from your back and settling against the pillows. His arm draped over his eyes as he laid back, his chest rising and falling in a rhythm that told you he was thinking. Too much.
You turned carefully, your body sore and boneless but needing to be near him. You laid your head on his chest, your belly pressing against his side, fitting awkwardly but close. He didn’t stop you. Just let you come to him.
His hand dropped from his eyes a moment later, resting on your back, his thumb tracing over your spine.
“I shouldn’t’ve said that,” he murmured, voice hoarse. “Not tonight.”
That was it. No elaboration. No apology, either. Just Joel’s version of walking the line—saying something and unsaying it all at once.
You looked up at him, searching his face. “But…what did you mean? Did you…have you always have feelings?”
He didn’t look at you. Just stared at the ceiling, jaw working.
After a moment, his hand slid to your belly, resting there like it always did.
“I don’t know what any of it means." he said finally. “I just know it ain’t simple.”
Your throat ached, but you nodded anyway. Because it wasn’t.
Not with him. Not with Tommy. Not with this.
You laid your head back on his chest, his heartbeat steady in your ear. And neither of you said anything else.
Because maybe silence was safer than the truth.
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bcksbarnes · 2 months ago
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silver lining
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
summary: for someone who was once frozen in time, bucky barnes never had to worry about aging, until he finds his first gray hair.
word count: 2.3K
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Mornings spent wrapped in Bucky’s arms were your favorite ways to start your weekends, especially after such a long week. You were barely awake yet but you could feel the way he held you close his chest, both of your bodies intertwined as the two of you slept. 
Work was kicking your ass, not physically, but with the way your to-do list piled up.
Work was kicking Bucky’s ass, but actually physically.
He had been away for the week, only getting home late last night as you were finishing up dinner. He loved his job, loved getting to help people and save the world, but coming home to the apartment the two of you shared was the most rewarding part of it all. It was as if he could fully unwind and forget about the cruelty that seeped into this world; Bucky had his fair share of contributing to that many years ago, but now he was doing his best to pay back all he had done.
And now, as you stirred softly from your sleep, all you could think about was how excited you were to be with him on this glorious Saturday morning. The sun was shining in from the tops of your blinds, the bedroom you shared still mostly filled with darkness - per Bucky’s request to get black out curtains, it helped him sleep better. A groan leaves his lips as soon as he feels you stir, his hand on your back pulling you in closer.
“Morning.” You whisper, your eyes opening, blinking away the blurriness. 
“Morning.” He mumbles back, but it’s almost incoherent as he sucks in a deep breath and starts to move. “I was very peaceful, you know.”
“I’m so sorry.” You say to him, a smile on your face as your hand moves up his chest and to the side of his neck, pulling him in for a quick kiss. He hums against your lips as he runs his fingers up and down your spine, your shirt riding up as he does so. 
“Apology accepted,” he mutters softly, causing both of you to break into a smile. Bucky finally opens his eyes; those baby blues that you had fallen in love with had always managed to make your heart flutter, and this time was no exception. It didn’t matter how long the two of you were together (3 years, but who’s counting), there was always a spark that hit the both of you whenever your gazes connected, it was exhilarating. 
Without even thinking about it, you bring your hand up to his face, cupping his cheek softly as your thumb rubbed against his coarse skin, his early morning stubble was one of your favorite things about waking up with him.
The two of you finally pull back, only far enough so that you can see each other's faces. You weren’t exactly sure how you landed such a wonderful man in your life, for all the bad things that Bucky had seen about himself, they were just overshadowed by how truly incredible he was. A man who saw himself as cold, guarded and unemotional, was deep down really just the kindest, most gentle and well rounded person you had ever met. You were so very lucky.
“What’s the plan for today?” he asks, clearing his throat a bit to get out the morning vocal fry he usually had. 
“I was thinking maybe we can go grab breakfast at that new diner we’ve been wanting to try?” You ask and can hear him hum in response, the best way to Bucky’s heart was definitely through his stomach. After years on the run and in control by someone else, good food was always a comfort he could appreciate.
“And then afterwards we can head to the store? I need to pick up a few things for the week.” Youwere already dreading thinking about the next week of work, but that was just life, mundane and full of running errands and doing chores. Though when the two of you did it together, it never really felt so bad.
Bucky sighs as he rolls onto his back, looking up at the ceiling as he uses his hand that’s not resting on your back to run down his face, getting out one last yawn before he had to get up for the day. You knew the days after missions were tough for him, a mix of needing to catch up on sleep and wanting to make the most of your time together, he always opted for the latter. He’ll sleep when he’s dead.
His hand lightly taps your back signaling the two of you to move and start getting out of bed. Both of you stretched your limbs, stealing one more quick kiss before going your separate ways; Bucky on his way to take a shower while you move to the kitchen to get the coffee pot going, if it was one thing about you and Bucky, it’s that you both needed at least two cups before you could get your day going. 
While he’s in the shower you keep yourself busy; folding blankets the two of you left out in the living room, picking up shoes from the hallway, putting dishes in the dishwasher and getting dressed so that all you had to do was wash your face and brush your teeth when he got out - all the same mundane things every couples did.
It’s about twenty minutes later when you start to get concerned, the shower is still running but Bucky doesn’t usually take that long, he’s more of a man that showers because he hated the idea of being dirty rather than a man looking to relax. When you step closer to the door you press your ear against it, hoping to hear at least some sign of movement, when you don’t your stomach drops.
“Buck?” You call out, your fist knocking on the wood door. “Are you okay in there?” 
Suddenly it feels like time had slowed down and all you can think of were the bad things that could have happened. You didn’t hear him collapse - Bucky was a big man, you would have heard that - and you didn’t hear him yell in pain or anything, but the thought doesn’t leave your mind as you start rapidly knocking again.
Your hand reaches for the doorknob but before you can even grasp it you hear the water from the shower shut and footsteps approaching the door. Taking a step back to give him some space, you watch as the door slowly opens and Bucky stands in front of you. He’s standing in his boxers, it looks like hadn’t made it into the shower yet, and there’s a look on his face that’s hard to read. The steam from the room is slowly entering the hallway as he meets your gaze, his hair is all messed up. As quickly as relief filled your body that he was okay, the look on his face made your concern return.
“Are you okay?” You ask, reaching your hand out to him. “I got worried.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles. He’s suddenly feeling very shy, not wanting to have worried you. Sometimes Bucky can tend to revert back to those days of keeping everything inside, not wanting to share his emotions or feelings. It feels like a complete turn around from this morning and the way the two of you were wrapped up in each other. 
In the beginning of your relationship it was hard to coax these talks out of him, Bucky would shut down and shut himself out. With time, patience and trust you two were able to get to a place where this didn’t happen very often, but sometimes it still did and it always blindsided you. You tried to never show it on your features, you knew that if he had any inkling that this was surprising that he’d shut down even more. Open, patient and receptive is what you had to be and this time was no different. 
“No, no, don’t apologize.” Your voice is soft as you take a step closer, your hand resting on his shoulder. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t want to have to break the door down.”
This gets him to smile, well not really a smile but the edge of his mouth curls up a bit.
“Yeah, like you’re capable of that.”
There's no malice in his joke, but there is an air of nervousness from him as if he’s contemplating what he wants to say, your thumb is drawing small comforting circles on his skin as you wait to see if you need to push him to talk or give him some space. You see him open his mouth to speak, your eyes watching his every move.
“I found …” he mumbles the last words so you don’t quite catch them.
“Sorry, what?” 
“I found …” he says it again, this time even more mumbled than the last.
“Buck, babe, I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
A sigh leaves his lips as he closes his eyes, he’s struggling with saying this out loud for some reason. It’s not that big of a deal, it happened to everyone, but Bucky never thought he’d see the day it’d happened to him.
“I found a gray hair.” His voice is still sort of muttered, but you can finally hear him. 
The words hit you square in the chest and your emotions are immediately conflicted. You are so happy that Bucky has lived to see the day that he has gotten to age properly, that he’s been able to live a new life that is so fulfilled and full of love. But, you know the flip side of this coin, which is that Bucky is a person from another time and that this process should have started decades ago for him. 
“Oh, Buck,” a whisper comes from your lips as you take another step closer to him, the steam from the bathroom still flooding the hallway.
“I’m just having … a moment.” He explains softly, his hand moving to the small of your back as he pulls you in, needing the close proximity for comfort. “I never thought this would happen, you know? It’s hard to imagine myself getting …” he takes a deep breath before continuing, “older. I guess.”
You listen intently as you know it’s the right thing to do, all Bucky ever asked for was for someone to take his feelings seriously and you always tried your best to do so. 
“And? How do you feel about it?” 
“Good, bad, a mix of both.” He says honestly as his hand slips under your shirt, the warm flesh rubbing against your skin as if to ground himself. “It’s nice that it’s finally happening, that my life is moving forward, but it should have happened a long time ago.”
“I know.” You whisper softly.
You move both of your arms to wrap around his neck, keeping him close to you. His shoulders relax and you can feel the tension leaving his body almost immediately. Bucky was an adult man, there was no doubt about it, but moments like these gave you an inside look as to what he would have been like all those decades ago - a boyish look in his eyes in the moments he felt really small.
When he opens his eyes again to look at you his thoughts are racing. He wished he never went through what he did, of course he did, but in some sick twist of fate if his life had never worked out the way it actually did he would never have met you. Bucky, for all its worth, thinks that alone is worth the years of his life missed.
He’s smiling at you now and you can see the sparkle in his eyes return again as you both stand there for a beat. In these moments he’s happy he gave his heart up to someone all good and all kind.
“Do you see it?” He brings his metal hand up to his hair, grabbing a few strands from the front of his head and flattening them so you can get a better look. “See? Right there.”
There’s still a massive amount of dark hair, but between the strands you see it - the one gray hair that stands out from the rest. It really is only one.
“I see it. You want me to rip it out?” You offer.
“No.” He says quickly, his hand on your back playfully smacking your behind as he smirks at you. “That’s actually why I haven’t taken a shower yet. I’ve been contemplating for the last 20 minutes if I should rip it out of my head or not. Is it a mid-life crisis if you’re over 100?”
You can’t help but laugh softly at his joke, bringing one of your hands up to fix his hair; you can tell he was definitely digging to see if there were more.
“Oh definitely not, you’re way past mid-life crisis. Maybe more like a geriatric spiral instead?” You feel him smack your behind again and both of you start laughing softly, the Bucky you knew and loved slowly returning to you. “Now you and your gray hair better shower quickly because I’m hungry. If we end up getting to the diner and there’s a line I won’t be very happy.”
“Oh well, we can’t have that happening, now can we?” 
Bucky presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before he pulls away from your embrace, giving you one last look over before he closes the bathroom door to shower. He turns towards the sink once the door is closed, his hands on either side of the counter as he gives himself one last look over in the mirror, the gray hair standing out from the rest. He meets his own eyes and gives himself a nod. Everything would be okay.
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itneverendshere · 2 months ago
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wake up in the mornin' and to your smell - r.c (+18)
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pairing: kelce's!sister x hockey!rafe warnings: SMUT. request: Can we pls get more parts for brothers bsf!rafe where it’s the morning after ans they did it GOOD and she’s all shy n stuff bcz duh she might act all tough but w him it’s different and he’s enjoying it sm
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It was the first time you woke up with him.
The first thing you noticed wasn’t the soreness between your thighs or the warmth of the sheets twisted around your torso.
Not even the ache between your hips, which was almost overshadowed by the memory of how it got there. Just the quiet movement of his chest beside you, the peaceful rhythm of Rafe Cameron sleeping soundly in your bed.
You should’ve slipped out, wrapped yourself in the hoodie you left draped over your desk chair, and padded to the bathroom before he stirred. Maybe taken a second to fix your hair—because, of course, you’d passed out without twisting your hair up, without so much as reaching for your bonnet. 
But instead, you stayed in place, blinking up at the ceiling, hoping it would offer some kind of answer as to what you’re supposed to do next.
Because, technically, this wasn’t new.
The sneaking around, it had been happening for weeks, months, maybe. You’d had sex everywhere except a bed. His car, your car, the locker room after practice, the laundry room at a party, once against a tree at some bonfire neither of them even remembers the reason for.
But never, never in a bed, never in your dorms, never somewhere where you had to face the aftermath. Usually, once you were done, you went back to class, or to a party, or Rafe went back to practice. 
No lingering.
The first time you “slept” with him, the bench had been hard against your back, his hands bruising against your skin, the faint sound of his teammates approaching outside the door making the whole thing feel forbidden.You’d been half-dressed, your skirt rucked up, and he’d dropped his towel on the floor.
But this—waking up next to him, in sheets that still smell like him, watching the curve of his mouth as he breathed deeply in his sleep—this was new. And you didn’t know what to do with it.
You shifted slightly, meaning to turn away, and get some distance between yourself and his overheating body, but the movement made him stir.
You winced as his arm tightened around your waist instinctively, tugging you back against his chest. “Mmm, don’t do that,” his lips brushed against your shoulder.
“Do what?” you whispered back.
His palm pressed against your hip, thumb stroking over your skin in a slow ticklish pattern. “Move away from me like you’re tryna escape.”
You huffed, rolling your eyes even as your heart pounded like you were twelve all over again. “I’m not trying to escape.”
“Good,” he murmured, lips pressing softly against your shoulder again before he nuzzled into the crook of your neck like it was his second nature.
Rafe was acting like you two woke up like this all the time as if this wasn’t something you were going to overthink the second you got out of bed.
That was the thing about him, he’d always been good at making you feel like you didn’t have to think so much. 
Always knew how to tease you out of your head, and used it against you every chance he got.
Like when his hand skimmed lower, fingers grazing beneath the curve of your waist.  “How are you so pretty in the morning?”
You blinked at him. Then blinked again.
“Shut the hell up.”
Rafe laughed, unbothered, he knew how much you hated that kind of shit. Which, of course, he did. This was Rafe, and he loved saying things he knew would make you flustered.
“I’m serious. Look at you.”
You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut. “My hair looks crazy.”
“So?” He didn’t agree or pretend to entertain the idea.
“So?” you scoffed, shifting to finally turn and face him properly. “I look like I got…”
“Fucked?” Rafe grinned wider. “Yeah, ‘cause I did that.”
Your jaw dropped. 
“You sore?” he asked teasing, his voice dipping in that lazy amusement that always made you want to smack him and kiss him at the same time.
Sore was an understatement; it was all his fault.
“I can’t stand you,” you muttered childishly, nudging your elbow back against his ribs, but he just laughed.
All you wanted was to groan at how much you loved the sound.
As if he wasn’t already too much—too pretty, too talented, he just had to be the best you’d ever had. He knew what he was doing and dared to be hung like that too. God had favorites, and clearly, you were one of them.
“That’s a yes,” he drawled, sounding too pleased with himself.
You let out an exasperated sigh, fighting against the warmth creeping up your back. “You’re so fuckin’ annoying.”
“And yet, here I am,” he pointed out, smug as ever, and when you don’t have a comeback fast enough for the first time in your life, he chuckled again.
“Unfortunately,” you sighed, burying your face in your pillow to hide the involuntary grin taking over your expression.
“Yeah?” His hand moved again, fingers slipping beneath the covers to pinch at your thigh, making you jolt slightly. “That why you were moanin’ my name last night?”
“I wasn’t.”
“Oh right, that was screamin’.”
You groaned, reaching back to swat at him blindly, but he just laughed again, catching your wrist before you could do any real damage.
Rafe always made it impossible. You huffed against the pillow, stubbornly avoiding his gaze even as he tugged at your wrist, pulling you back into him with that ridiculous grin you hated to love.
“Shut up,” you muttered, voice muffled against the fabric.
He pressed a third kiss to your shoulder, a little less teasing, and you hated how much you wanted to turn and kiss him back. 
“A little higher pitched, but you’re almost there.”
“Get out.”
His hand brushed up your thigh, his palm rough against your skin. “But I’m so comfortable here.”
“That makes one of us.”
Rafe just scoffed, his mouth trailing lazily up your neck until his nose nudged behind your ear. “Yeah? You debatin’ it right now?”
You hated the way he sounded, all amused like he already knew the answer. Mostly because he did. You sucked in a breath, willing your body to behave, but it was useless when his fingers kept moving, grazing over your hip in a way that made you want to melt.
You exhaled sharply, finally turning your head to glare at him. It didn’t have the effect you wanted. He was looking at you like that, all sleepy-eyed, hair sticking up at odd angles, as if he belonged in your bed. 
It wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
Your fingers twitched against the sheets, tempted to reach up, run through his hair. But that wasn’t part of the deal. There were rules to this. No overthinking. 
Rafe’s thumb skimmed up your ribs, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts. His eyes flickered over your face. Then, his lips curled into that shit-eating grin that made you want to strangle him.
“Didn’t know you could bend like that.”
Nevermind, you were going to knock him out with a hockey stick.
 “Rafe.”
He just grinned wider, “How come you never told me you had that in you?"
You shoved at his chest. “Go back to sleep.”
“What? Just sayin'. Damn. You been hidin' that from me?” His fingers slid lazily up your arm.“If I had known you were that flexible, I woulda put you in a headlock weeks ago.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“You like it enough,” he shot back, smirking “You just mad ‘cause now I know you can do all that, and I’m gonna be expectin’ it every time.”
You smacked his arm, but that only made him chuckle, burying his face in your neck as his teeth scraped playfully over your skin.
“You’re so annoying,” you repeated the insult, trying to scoot away, but he pulled you back in, his arm locking around your waist.
“Yeah?” He kissed the corner of your jaw. “That why you were beggin’yesterday?”
You scoffed, horrified, but he was already laughing, ducking out of the way before you could slap him again, “If anyone was begging, it was you.”
His eyes lit up as he looked down at you. “Shit, you got me there. Matter of fact... might beg now too.”
“I have class in thirty,” you reminded him.
He pouted, brows furrowing like a kicked puppy. “I just need ten minutes.”
“No.”
His lips brushed against yours, voice dropping into that dangerous, coaxing drawl. “Five?”
“Rafe.”
He was already nudging your thighs apart with his, hard as rock, sliding in between—not putting in, just coating himself in your arousal and rocking a little back and forth, luring you in. Both of you moaned, loud and shameless, like sluts, and you would’ve been embarrassed if he didn’t sound just as needy as you felt.
Your brain turned to mush the second you felt him. 
“Rafe,” you warned again, but it was weak.
He groaned against your neck. “Two?”
He didn't wait for an answer—he never did. Just kept teasing, gliding his cock through your slick folds, the weight of him pressing and sliding just enough to make you squirm.
"C’mon, lemme make you feel good before class. Promise I’ll be quick."
Liar.
Rafe’s fingers dug into your hip, holding you in place while he moved, then, he hiked your leg up, throwing it over his hip like he had all the time in the world, spreading you wider so he could slide even messier, wetter, the thick head of him catching at your clit in a way that made your stomach drop to the bottom of the ocean.
You shuddered, nails digging into his bulky forearm. "You're such a fucking—"
"Yeah?" He cut you off with a lazy grin, pressing harder this time, drawing out the friction just to watch your face twist. "Finish that sentence."
You couldn't. 
“Not fair,” you murmured against his mouth, as he rolled his hips. His other hand was already trailing up, palm greedy as he squeezed a handful of your tit, thumb brushing over your nipple just to watch it pebble up. You arched into his touch, biting back a moan as he saw right through it.
He always did.
"That's what I thought," Rafe hummed, smug, dipping his head to bite at your jaw. His grip tightened, keeping you right where he wanted you, even if he knew you wouldn’t try to move away now. He nudged forward again, getting himself soaked. "So fuckin’ wet for me and I haven’t even put it in yet."
It was humiliating how easily he could wreck you, turn you into a desperate, panting mess with nothing but his cock sliding over you and that voice dripping in amusement.
He knew it, too. The smirk was still plastered on his face when he reached up, cradling your jaw, forcing you to meet his eyes.
"Look at you," he murmured, lips hovering over yours, close enough to steal your breath but refusing to kiss you. 
You swallowed hard, but before you could bite back, he crashed his mouth against yours, all tongue, swallowing your moan as he rutted against you, grinding dirty, making sure you felt every inch of him.
Then he pulled back, enough to pant against your lips, his forehead pressing against yours as he grinned. "Still got that class in thirty?"
You shifted, meaning to push him away, to sit up—anything that wasn’t this. But the way you arched, the way your hips tilted just right—
“Oh, shit—”
He slipped inside, easy, smooth, like your body was made for him, exactly where he was meant to be. You both froze, inhaling sharply at the sudden stretch, the obscene wetness letting him sink all the way in, with no resistance.
Rafe swore under his breath, hands gripping your hips, physically restraining himself, if he so much as twitched, it’d be over.
“The way you just—fuck.”
Your nails dug into his biceps, body pulsing around him, stomach twisting at the way he sounded, completely blindsided. He let out a shuddering breath, swallowing hard.
“You’re fuckin’ unreal.”
Your lips curled. “Might be.”
Rafe exhaled sharply, then laughed, hoarsely. “Dream girl.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
He didn’t say things like that. He flirted a shit ton, he teased, he riled you up until you were too frustrated to do anything but fall into him, but he didn’t say things that stuck. You’d overthink about it later, the words already buried deep into your brain like a splinter. 
You whimpered into his mouth, fingers flying to his hair, twisting, nails scraping against his scalp, and he groaned.
You felt everything. 
Lazy, filthy, perfect.
His lips found your jaw, then your throat, hands slipping up to cup your tits, thumbs brushing over your nipples as he rocked into you again. He had you right where he wanted you, and he fucking knew it. Rafe moved his hips a little faster, testing, and you both gasped at the way you clenched down around him.
He groaned, rough against your throat. "You gotta stop doin' that."
You fluttered around him on purpose.
He cursed, pulling back just enough to thrust shallowly, teasing himself through your hole. Your nails raked down his back, and he fucking shuddered, breath hot against your jaw.
His hand trailed up your side, skimming over your ribs before wrapping around your throat—not squeezing, only reminding you that he had you, that you let him have you.
"You keep clenchin' up like that, I'm gonna think you don’t really wanna go to class." His thumb brushed your pulse, feeling how it skipped beneath his touch.
You swallowed hard, heat curling in your stomach. "I don’t."
"Fuckin' knew it."
His other hand slipped under your thigh, gripping hard as he tilted your hips up, changing the angle until you chocked on your own breath, making sure you felt the thick, heady sweep of him, filling you up in a way that made your toes curl, your head falling back against the pillow.
"Right there?" Rafe teased, breathless.
You nodded, barely able to do anything but take it. "Rafe—"
"Fuck," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. "You feel so good. So warm."
He hummed, a soft, knowing sound, skimming his lips along your jawline, open-mouthed kisses, drawn-out, until his teeth scraped over your pulse.
“More," you pleaded, voice soft, almost shy. "Kiss me."
His lips parted, but instead, he exhaled sharply.
"You ask so sweet," his thumb brushed the corner of your mouth. "How’m I supposed to say no to that?"
He rocked into you again, lazy and deep, kissing you like he had nowhere else to be, every inch of him pressed against you, surrounding you, smothering you in the best way. His fingers slipped between yours, tangling your hands together over your head. 
You shivered. It was too much—the way he sounded, the way he touched you, the way he was looking at you. He your shoulder, biting down gently, sucking another mark into your skin. 
"You’re gonna be late," he murmured, amused.
You let out a breathless laugh, tilting your head back, giving him more room. "Don’t care."
"Yeah?" He nudged his nose against your cheek, "That why you’re fuckin' dripping all over my cock?"
Rafe fucking ruined you.
There was no other way to put it.
You weren’t thinking, weren’t even capable of forming a single coherent thought, just a mess beneath him—babbling, body pliant as he rocked into you. You were taking every inch, stretched around him perfectly, your cunt gripping him like you never wanted to let go. And at this point, you didn’t.
“Ohhh, fuck,” you gasped, nails scraping over his broad shoulders. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—"
Rafe watched you with blown, lazy eyes. “That all you got for me?”
He dragged himself out unhurriedly, just to push back in deeper, and your back arched, head spinning at the obscene wet sounds between your bodies, at the way you could feel every ridge, every thick vein.
“Rafe,” you whined, voice breaking. Your brain was gone, absolutely fucking fried, your mouth running on autopilot. “S’too much—feels so—”
 “Yeah?”
You nodded weakly, breath hitching as he tilted his hips, hitting that devastating spot inside you that made your thighs shake. Rafe swore under his breath, his grip bruising as he pushed your knee up to your chest, forcing himself even deeper. 
“That why you’re all quiet, huh?”
You let out a broken moan, fingers digging into his biceps. “Can’t think—fuck, can’t think when you fuck me like this.”
And fuck—fuck—you’d be embarrassed if every time he sank in, his pelvis wasn’t pressed flush against your clit, pushing against the swollen little bud right, sending shocks of pleasure straight through your body. He pushed his hips deeper, grinding against you just to watch your mouth drop open.
“That right?” he cooed, “More?”
“Yes,” you huffed, so brainless, completely under his spell. “Yes, yes, just—just wanna, please—”
“Jesus Christ,” Rafe choked out, his rhythm stuttering. “You tryin’ to make me come?”
You’d never begged before, never once—not with anyone else. Sex had always been good, sure. You liked it, and enjoyed it, but you’d never been desperate for it.
Until him.
You let out the filthiest whimper, hands fisting the sheets, breath stuttering as your hips jerked up, chasing that friction, that perfect, devastating pressure. He moaned at the way you writhed against him, at the way your cunt clenched around him, pulsing, sucking him in like you never wanted him to leave. 
His head dropped into your shoulder, gripping your hips tight to keep you still as he slammed into you again, making sure to press down, his pubic bone tickling against your clit in slow, filthy circles. You cried out, nails biting into his back, desperate, mindless, your hips lifting to meet every taunting thrust.
This wasn’t fucking, it was something else entirely.
“Say it again.”
Your brows furrowed. “Say what?”
He licked your lips, smirking against your skin. “Say please.”
Heat flushed through you, an embarrassing, all-consuming need curling in your stomach. You panted, licking your swollen lips, barely able to keep your eyes open as his hands never stopped moving. Sliding up your body, tracing the dip of your waist, rolling your nipple between his fingers just to hear you whimper. 
You swallowed hard, your pride already flushed down the toilet, which never mattered when he was looking at you like that.
“C’mon,” he coaxed, his tone all sweet. “You can do better than that.”
“Please,” you choked out, every ounce of shame dissolving into nothing, “Please, Rafe, don’t stop.”
He groaned, long and guttural, pulling his cock out leisurely before slamming back in, punching a moan from your throat.
“Can’t stop,” he murmured against your throat, lips worshiping your skin, tongue flicking out to taste. “Fuckin’ impossible.”
His thrusts never picked up, it was excruciating. His forehead was pressed against yours now, breath hot and heavy between you, both of you panting into the same space.
You whimpered, fingers twisting into his hair, pulling hard enough to make his eyes flutter shut for a second, jaw going slack, but then they snapped open again—blue and blown out, locked onto yours, because you knew he needed to watch you fall apart beneath him.
He tilted his head then, licking his lips as he leaned in, capturing your mouth in a painfully wet kiss. His tongue swept along yours, lazily. You whined into his mouth, and he swallowed it, groaning in his throat.
He wasn’t fucking you—he was pressing into you, as deep as humanly possible.
His tongue curled around yours, sucking, licking, all spit and heat, but neither of you cared. His lips lingered against yours, before he pulled back just an inch—just enough to let a thin string of saliva stretch between your mouths.
Your head fell back, a broken moan spilling from your lips, but Rafe didn’t let you escape. His hand was on your jaw instantly, forcing you to look at him.
"Nuh-uh," he murmured, his nose brushing yours, "Stay with me. Keep lookin’ at me."
His tongue flicked out, running over your swollen bottom lip, tasting the wet heat of your breath before he skimmed his teeth along it, teasing. His lips wrapped around your tongue, pulling it into his mouth, sucking. He groaned deep in his throat at the taste of you, at the way you let him, at how fucking eager you were, melting into him with a desperate little cry. Your lips were slick, your chins wet, when he finally pulled back, panting, but you were already chasing his again.
“More."
Rafe groaned, tipping your chin up with his thumb, eyes heavy-lidded as he dragged his tongue up the side of yours, before sucking it back into his mouth. He fucked into you deep, making sure you felt everything as he swallowed your whole fucking soul.
"Mmmm,” rasped against your lips, voice shaking. "You’re so fuckin’ sweet. Could do this forever."
His thumb brushed against your cheek, his breathing ragged as he rocked into you, as if his only purpose in life was to keep you filled.
“God,” he murmured, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe “You feel that?”
You could only garble in response, your fingers digging into his back, pretty nails leaving crescent moons in his skin. Of course, you felt it—how could you not? Every thick inch of him dragged against that devastating spot inside you, over and over, stretching you enough to make you tremble but never giving you enough to push you over the edge. He was torturing you with how good it felt.
He hummed, his lips curling as he brushed his nose against yours. “Can’t even talk, huh?”
You tried—you really did. But all that came out was a soft, breathless squeak, your head tilting back against the pillow. Rafe caught your cheeks before you could look away again.
“Uh-uh,” he scolded, his voice deep, “Wanna hear you.” He punctuated his words with another sluggish thrust, and your entire body shuddered. A high, needy sound slipped from your lips, and his pupils blew wide. “Shit, there it is.”
His hand slipped down your body, before his palm settled low on your stomach, pressing down—light at first, then firmer, right where he was inside you. Your breath hitched, the pressure making your walls flutter around him. His cock twitched in response, and he swore under his breath, hips stuttering for the first time since he started.
“Fuck,” he groaned, shaking his head. “You feel me?”
You nodded weakly, breath catching in your throat.
“That’s me,” he rasped. “Deep as I can go.”
Your entire body clenched around him, and Rafe let out a ragged moan, dropping his forehead on your chest.
“You’re gonna make me lose my fucking mind,” he panted.
You barely had the strength to smirk, but you managed. “M-Maybe that’s the plan.”
His mouth was right there, so close, and then—his breath fanned over the swell of your breast before he latched on, tongue flicking over your nipple before sucking hard, deep. A shaky sound escaped you, fingers flying to his neck, pulling, making him groan against your skin.
"Rafe—"
He hummed, satisfied, sucking again, harder this time, his hips rolling forward in tandem with the wet pull of his mouth. You pressed yourself further into his mouth, and he could only sigh at the way you offered yourself up so easily, so desperate for more, his tongue laving over your sensitive skin before moving to the other, giving it the same attention. He licked and sucked, as he murmured against you.
“Could stay right here all fucking day,” he whispered, kissing over your breast between words, his hand slipping up to squeeze the other. "Right here—fuck—just like this."
Your thighs tightened around him, your whole body buzzing, over-sensitive, overstimulated, yet still somehow desperate for more. His tongue flicked over your nipple again before he pulled away to watch the way it pebbled under his breath.
Rafe’s hands never stopped moving or touching—tracing yearning circles over your arms, cupping your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your pebbled nipples, just because he knew how much it made you shudder. He smeared open-mouthed kisses over your chest, up your throat, tasting the sweat on your skin. His lips ghosted over yours, teasing, never fully kissing you, and you couldn’t take it anymore. 
Your hands slid up his arms, over his shoulders, feeling the muscles flex beneath your fingers until they found their way into his hair.
You tugged for the millionth time that morning, making him grunt.
His lips feathered against your jaw, “Keep pulling like that and I won’t last.”
You couldn’t get enough, couldn’t feel enough, no matter how close he was, it still wasn’t enough. You needed more.
“Let me,” you panted against his lips, licking into his mouth between words. “Wanna be on top.”
Rafe’s eyes fluttered open, lips slick and pink from sucking at your skin. His fingers flexed against your waist, jaw clenching at the need in your voice, you were already trying to move, to take control.
“Yeah?” His voice was hoarse, a little desperate. His hands slid down, gripping your ass as he rolled onto his back, bringing you with him.
The second you were straddling him, you let out a shaky breath, feeling how deep he was like this, how he stretched you just right, the angle hitting something devastating.
Rafe smirked, hands already running up your thighs, gripping, kneading the flesh, watching the way you trembled above him. He let his head drop back against the headboard as you ground down experimentally, testing. 
You pressed both hands against his broad chest, feeling his heartbeat hammering against your palm. His body was burning beneath yours, and god, the way he looked—his hair disheveled from your fingers, his lips swollen, it was making you delirious.
You needed more.
You started moving, deep rolls of your hips, letting him stroke against every aching, sensitive spot inside you, making you both shudder. Rafe swore under his breath, his grip tightening as his head tipped back, jaw clenched.
“Fuck—just like that,” he groaned, his hands sliding up, thumbs brushing just beneath your chest. “Look so fuckin’ pretty riding me like this.”
You leaned down, grazing your lips over his throat, tasting his skin, feeling the way he shook as you pressed kisses down to his collarbone, licking, biting, marking him up the way he did you.
Rafe’s hands flew to your ass, gripping, rolling you deeper onto his cock, making you gasp against his skin. "You tryin' to fuckin’ ruin me?" He couldn't decide what he wanted more—your hips, your tits, your face. "’Cause it's working."
You whimpered, lifting your hips before sinking down again, making you both gasp. His eyes locked on your face, watching every twitch, shudder, every whimper.
"You feel so good," you whispered, rubbing your hands down his chest, over his abs, feeling them tense beneath your palms. "So deep, Rafe."
His breath stuttered, his hands sliding back to your waist, guiding you into a slow, lewd grind, helping you glide him against that spot that made you tremble.
"You wanna feel me in your fuckin’ stomach, huh?" His voice was a rasp, a tease, but his eyes were half-lidded, his mouth parted in awe, watching the way you moved. "Gotta have me so deep you feel me for days?"
You gasped, nails digging into his skin. "Shit—yes, yes, please—”
Rafe growled, sitting up so fast you squealed, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you in, your chests flush as his mouth crashed against yours. He kissed you matching the lazy intoxicating drag of his cock inside you, his hands everywhere—your back, your thighs, your face. He traced over your cheek, his thumb swiping just beneath your lip, pressing, feeling the way your mouth parted even more for him, giving him everything, his fingers slid into your hair, gripping at the roots, angling your head just right so he could dive in deeper.
He pulled back, painting against your lips, forehead pressed to yours, eyes hazy. Your thighs trembled where they were wrapped around his hips, his fingers slipping between you, pressing against your clit, rubbing tight circles that sent white-hot pleasure curling up your spine.
“That’s it,” he murmured, “Know you’re close—feel you squeezin’ me.” His forehead pressed harder against yours, his breath uneven, restraint hanging by a thread. “Come on, pretty girl, wanna feel it.”
You whimpered, gasping as the tension inside you coiled impossibly tight. Every drag of his cock, every flick of his fingers, every breathy moan against your lips—it was too much. Your nails scraped down his chest, dragging red lines, but Rafe barely felt it, wholeheartedly focused on the way you were shaking, how your walls clenched around him like you were made to take him.
Your head dropped back, mouth falling open as you moaned, "Y-Yeah—oh my God—Rafe—"
Rafe groaned as he slammed up into you, chasing his own high, his movements frantic now. “Fuck—fuck—” 
Your thighs shook, your back arching as your orgasm slammed into you, your cunt tightening around his cock like you never wanted to let go.
"Shit—oh shit, fuckkk—" You gasped, babbling, the words barely forming as your body convulsed around him, muscles tensing and releasing with every wave of pleasure.
He felt it—the way you gushed around him, drenching him, the obscene, slick sounds making his jaw clench.
"Baby," he rasped, voice tight, "You're fuckin’ coming all over me—makin’ such a goddamn mess—”
You whined, helpless, your hips still rolling, chasing every last drop of pleasure. Your thighs were sticky, coating him all over, dripping down, soaking the sheets beneath you.
Rafe’s hands were shaking as he held you, watching the way you quivered, breathless, ruined. He thrust up once, twice—grinding deep into your overstimulated cunt, making you wail. His jaw clenched, a ragged groan ripping from his throat.
Your mouth was open, little gasps spilling out as he kept fucking up into you, chasing his own high. His thrusts were hungry, his fingers digging into your ass, keeping you exactly where he wanted you
Your body was completely overstimulated, but you didn’t stop, or couldn’t stop. You were too dizzy off the way Rafe was ruining you, how he was holding you down, forcing you to take every inch that had your mind blanking.
Your lips brushed against his ear, as you pouted, "Rafe—baby, you’re so deep—’s so much, so fucking big—" Your words slurred, just a string of filthy, broken sounds, no shame left. "You f-feel that? How I’m dripping down your cock? So messy, all over you—your fuckin’ cum, all yours—"
Rafe let out a wrecked groan, his whole body tensing, his fingers digging into your skin hard enough to bruise. His head fell back, eyes squeezed shut, jaw slack, completely lost in it.
"Fuck," he choked, his abs flexing under your touch, "Shit, you’re—" He cut himself off with a whimper, actually fucking whimpering, because you were still talking, still feeding him filth, still pulling him deeper into that haze.
"Need you to cum—need to feel it, wanna feel you inside me—" Your voice was high, needy, almost delirious. You pressed sloppy kisses along his jaw, panting against his skin, shoving your hand into his hair, tugging. "You’re so good, fuck me so good—please, please give it to me—wanna feel you break inside me—"
Rafe cursed, the sound strangled, his hips stuttering as his whole body locked up. His eyes rolled back, his lips parting in a silent moan, almost crying from how hard he came. His cock twitched violently, pulse after pulse of hot cum spilling inside you, so much, too much, his whole body shaking, his chest heaving as he tried—and failed—to catch his breath.
His hands were still trying to hold you still, but he was weak, twitching, shaking.
You were both past the point of reason or past the point of stopping.
You kept milking him through it, dragging out every shudder, every pulse of pleasure, every last wrecked noise from his throat.
Rafe’s hands flew to your waist, trying to still you, to slow you down—but he was already spent, his face twisted in agony, pleasure so sharp it bordered on pain. You were just as fucked out, but you couldn’t stop, not when it felt this good
You shuddered when your body finally stopped, his hands smoothing up your back, grounding you. He pressed his forehead against your cheek, breathing hard, chest still rising and falling against yours. His lips found your skin, his thumb brushing along your cheek, soothing, even though neither of you could form words yet.
His cock twitched inside you one last time, overstimulated, and a broken sigh slipped past his lips as he moved, rolling onto his side with you still wrapped around him, his cock slipping free, and you both hissed at the loss.
You felt the remnants of him between your thighs, the sticky evidence of everything you'd just done, but you didn’t care when Rafe was already tilting your head up, capturing your lips in another kiss.
"Gimme a minute," he hummed against your mouth, smirking as he kissed you again, slower this time, fingers skimming lazily down your back. "Then we're doing that again."
You exhaled a breathless laugh, already melting against him. "Yeah?"
He nipped at your bottom lip, voice thick with promise. "Yeah."
You’d worry about the pet names later.
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astonmartinii · 3 months ago
Text
other side of the moon - chapter six | formula one imagine
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chapter six: fireproof
pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli
testing is finally here and after the car launch, y/n is not looking forward to the mercedes garage
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SERIES MASTERLIST
the day and a half after the car launch before max was called into the factory by red bull was a slice of peace y/n had longed for for three years. but also one she couldn’t help think would be the last bit of peace she would be afforded this season.
the pair woke up the morning after the launch, bundled up together and hair sticking up in every direction.
“good morning” y/n said, words smothered by max’s chest. the dutchman grumbled to himself as he wrapped his arms around her even tighter.
“max, your phone won’t stop vibrating - please tell whoever it is to fuck off”
max groaned, flipped over and grabbed his phone. with his eyes shut, max jammed a couple buttons and suddenly the gravely voice of helmut marko rung out.
“max! where are you? the team have just informed me that you left early and are not at the hotel?”
the dutchman finally opened his eyes. he pulled y/n back into his side and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“helmut, it’s too early for this many questions.”
“i asked you one, very straight forward question, max.”
“i’ll be at the factory tomorrow, don’t worry.”
helmut sighed down the phone, “wherever you are, make sure you’re not late and not spotted doing anything untoward.”
“me? untoward? helmut, i didn’t know you thought so low of me.”
“the only reason i believe you is because you’re on your best behaviour with y/n back, maybe we should add her to our payroll as well.”
y/n couldn’t stop herself before she burst out laughing. she smacked a hand over her mouth but it was too late. helmut hummed.
“i see. good morning miss y/ln. make sure he’s in top condition for tomorrow.”
“will do, helmut.”
max hung up as soon as he could and threw his phone down the bed. he smiles down at y/n, “that’s not exactly how i pictured my first morning in bed with you.”
“so you’ve pictured this?” y/n questions, raising an eyebrow.
“no? yes? maybe? i definitely have but i don’t want to creep you out so what do you want to hear?”
y/n laughs as he buries his head in the pillow, whining in embarrassment.
“maxy…” she sings and pokes his back.
“don’t look at me! i’m a freak!” max yells, muffled in the pillow.
“but you’re a freak for me?”
“isn’t it obvious?”
y/n finally gets max to lessen his grip on the pillow and look back up at her. there’s a dusting of pink on his face and a concerned look in his eye.
“don’t worry, i like it. as long as you’re only a freak for me.”
max ducked his head again, “as happy as i am to hear that, can we refrain from saying it like that? i was proud i managed to wake up without morning wood and you’re really testing that resolve right now.”
y/n’s laugh reverberated around the room. without the needy meows of brando, the pair could stay snuggled in the bed for much longer than usual.
“max?” y/n asked, the dutchman had rearranged them so that he could be the little spoon and had his head resting on her chest, “please don’t be sorry for your feelings. they don’t make me uncomfortable and unlike others you didn’t just assume i reciprocated. i like what we have and i want to see where it could go, but i want to take it slow. i don’t want people butting in and adding their two pence. i just want you - and our furry babies.”
y/n could see the smile breaking out on max’s face before he even lifted his head from her chest.
“i said i just want to exist with you,” max said, “that will never, ever change.”
the dutchman’s eyes flicked down to her lips and the blush returned when he realised he wasn’t too subtle about it. y/n gives him a small nod and max leans in.
“can i?”
“please,” y/n whispered as max’s lips connected with hers. it was a small peck, just a press of lips, but it was enough. both pulled back and smiled, happy to breathe the same air for a while. y/n’s hand wrapped around his nape and pulled him in for another one. this kiss lasted longer, the pair pouring their years of pining into it, communicating something words could not describe.
for a moment y/n wished that she hadn’t returned to formula one. she wished that this would be her life. happy in her coop in west london with her and max’s cats waiting for the dutchman to come home, far away from her past ghosts and the sport that nearly killed her.
“will you still find me attractive in mercedes kit?”
“that’s a stupid question. you’re the most beautiful person in the world. yes, i would prefer if it were my number and my colours, but i’ll live with it if it means seeing you at every race.”
y/n giggled, the dutchman pressed another kiss to her lips because he could.
“i know you’ll be rooting for kimi this season, but i’ll win every race for you. even if the red bull is a shit box, i’ll fight everyone to bring that trophy home to you.”
“my singular monza trophy is a little lonely,” y/n said, “but your wins are yours, not anyone else’s”
y/n pushed back the duvet and started to get out of bed, much to the chagrin of max. despite his attempted puppy-dog eyes, y/n shuffled into her slippers and made her way to the kitchen.
“find something good to watch, i’ll cook up one last cheat meal for you,” y/n’s voice called from the hallway. max stayed led in the bed, a dumb smile on his face. it all felt a bit too good to be true and he hoped those in the paddock who had already caused some trouble would stay out of this.
despite another night of snuggles, max did not want to leave for milton keynes the next morning. y/n had made him a breakfast sandwich for the ride, but it did little to console the young dutchman even though the pair would be apart for just two days before they’d reunite in monaco and fly out to bahrain.
“i don’t wanna go… i want to stay here, you’re so much nicer to look at than christian!”
max was dragging his feet as he made his way to the hire car. he even tried to delay his departure by roping frank into a conversation but y/n had thought of that and rung down to reception in advance.
“it’s like you want me gone!” max cried as he put his bags in the car.
y/n laced her fingers in his, “you know i’ll miss you, but i don’t want to hear helmut’s voice any more than i have to, so you have to go. i’ll see you in monaco.”
max pulled her into one last kiss and reluctantly got into the car. y/n waved him off as he disappeared into the streets of london.
“finally!”
a yell boomed out in the garage, making y/n jump and stick her keys out as a makeshift weapon. frank stood at the entrance of the garage with a huge smile on his face. y/n calmed down when she saw the older man.
“frank! that scared the shit out of me! how long have you been there?”
“long enough.”
frank looked very smug. y/n made her way to the entrance, pointedly ignoring the older man.
“don’t be mad, i won’t tell anyone. i’m just glad you finally realised what was right in front of you.”
did everyone see it before her? it certainly seems that way.
“we’re taking it slow, so i’d appreciate if you kept this under your hat, frank.”
“of course, miss y/ln. would you like me to arrange for another parking spot for your flat?”
y/n tried to keep a stern look but she just couldn’t help it and smiled at the older man.
“that would be lovely, thank you.”
her apartment was quiet without max. she didn’t want to say she missed him just yet, but she had to busy herself with something before she fell down that hole. she needed to pack and get a flight back to monaco so she could spend a little more time with the cats before pre-season testing kicked off the season.
y/n’s phone buzzed with a message.
kimi: y/nnnnnnnn huge favour to ask! george can only give me a lift back to london before we go to bahrain so could i maybe get a lift to brackley???
y/n: if you buy my coffee at each stop you’ve got a deal.
kimi: yes, yes. i know your order - THANK YOU !
she better get to packing.
the italian stood on the side of the road, wrapped up in two coats, a hat and a scarf. ollie stood beside him in just a t-shirt, some shorts and a pair of flip flops, showing off his british aversion to the cold.
y/n pulled up beside the pair and winded down the window. “don’t you know hitchhikers are dangerous?”
kimi smiled and gave ollie a quick hug, popping the boot and shoving his small suitcase in. the italian slipped into the passenger seat and waved at ollie.
“why didn’t i have the idea to ask you to be my mentor?” ollie whined, “esteban is great and he has already given me a ton of lifts but you’re you!”
“snooze you lose” kimi said, poking out his tongue.
“esteban is great ollie, don’t believe all this shit about him being a bad teammate. he’s lovely and will be more than happy to help you out. however, we do need to go because i need to drop off this princess and get a flight to monaco. ciao!”
y/n stood on the gas and flew off down the street. from the corner of her eye, y/n could see kimi studying her. this wasn’t too strange for the italian, he often just stared at her, amazed that she had even agreed.
“i can feel you staring kimi, do you have a question?”
“why are you so happy?”
y/n laughed at the bluntness. the italian sputtered, “i mean i’m happy you’re happy, but i can’t help but be suspicious. i haven’t heard a peep from you since the car launch… and a little birdy told me you left with a certain someone.”
“it’s been two days, kimi!”
“you’re still smiling, you can’t stop and considering you smiled maybe twice in the first couple days i knew you - this means something!”
“fine! you caught me. i did go home with max. i’m not saying anymore than we’re happy and we’re taking it slow. i’m telling you because i believe for a good mentor relationship i should be completely open, as should you. also you’re like a quasi-son to me so there’s also that. do not tell anyone else, i’m serious. not even ollie.”
kimi whined at that, “but i tell ollie everything!”
“well not this. you saw how some of the people, including your teammate are with me and max, i do not want to give them any ammunition, okay?”
kimi hummed to himself, his brain whirring so loudly that even y/n could hear it over the music and the road. “speaking of those who WILL be without ammunition because i WILL keep my mouth zipped shut… how are we actually planning on tackling george this season?”
y/n was making the turn off of the motorway and towards brackley as she chuckled, “aside from physically tackling him at testing? i am joking, by the way. kimi, i don’t want you to worry about george anywhere but the track. he talks a big talk, but he’s very easy to frustrate when he’s not winning. don’t give him the rise he’ll want, okay?”
the tension rose in the car, it had all been fun and games up until this point, cocktails parties and car launches. but now it was getting real. y/n had the voice in the back of her head that worried that her off-track drama with the other drivers could impact kimi’s career.
“please stop worrying, y/n. i know what you’re thinking, but i am capable of handling it myself. i may only be eighteen but i’m not afraid of anyone.”
y/n pulled up outside of the mercedes factory and turned to kimi. she grabbed his hands, “promise me, kimi. promise me that if the drama with me gets too much, you will say something. i know it’s your dream to work with me, but make sure i do not interfere with your career.”
kimi scoffed, “them being afraid of you will never be your fault, you know-”
“it doesn’t matter if my fault or not, if their pettiness fucks with you, i won’t be able to forgive myself…”
just as they spoke, george pulled up beside them in his mercedes. the brit wasn’t alone in his car however. a brunette woman sat in the passenger seat, and much like george, her eyes narrowed at the sight of y/n.
“that’s carmen, george’s girlfriend. she doesn’t usually come to the factory with him?” kimi gasped, “maybe she’s here to stake her claim on george, as if you’d want him anyway…”
y/n laughed as kimi got out of the car. the italian grabbed his stuff from the boot and walked round to the window. y/n rolled it down and the two did their handshake.
“enjoy the prep, bunny, don’t make too much mess. see you in bahrain!”
the moment was cut short by someone clearing their throat. carmen had rolled down her window and was looking at kimi, less than impressed. the italian squeaked a quick goodbye and shuffled towards the entrance.
y/n tried not to make eye contact with carmen as she inputted the airport’s address into her gps. she was baffled by the news that george even had a girlfriend, not that she wanted kimi or the couple to know that. how long had they been together? did she know about y/n and about george’s weird feud with her? too many questions and not enough answers.
george and carmen made their way past y/n’s car and stopped just in front of the entrance, pointedly in y/n’s eye line. the two kissed, messily for people their age, and just to sum up her return so far, george kept eye contact with y/n the entire time, his hand wandering lower and lower on carmen.
2025 was the year of psychological warfare it seemed. y/n could work with that.
she sped out of the car park with new vigour. if psychological warfare was what george was ordering, y/n needed to know everything about everyone. she had stayed away from the drama surrounding formula one in her three years away from the sport, but it was time to go full gossip girl.
it’s crazy how much you can find in an hour in an airline bar about your former colleagues. y/n’s phone started ringing loudly, earning her some dirty looks in the lounge.
“maxy! did you know that george dated nyck’s sister?” y/n said, shovelling the free nuts in her mouth, “and that lando and pierre once liked the same girl in dubai?”
“why oh why are you telling me about this?” max said.
“because that prick wants psychological warfare, so i have to know everything!”
max hummed, not convinced. “am i like missing something?”
“i took kimi to brackley this morning and was treated to a lovely show from george and carmen. the weirdo kept eye contact with me the entire time! so if he wants to play it like that, i gotta know my enemies.”
“as weird as this all is, i’m glad to see you’re so into all of this, miss detective.”
y/n laughed, “i know i’m reading way too much about all of this, but i swear to god if he tries to fuck with kimi or you, i’ll play dirty if i have to. i mean i just don’t understand why he’s being such an asshole now about everything i supposedly did when he has a girlfriend - insecure much?”
max laughed down the line, they really were so much more alike than people would think. hearing her now, max wished she was back in the paddock for qatar and abu dhabi last year just to see what kind of revenge she could’ve thought up.
“anyway, maxy, are you still at the factory?”
“yeah, we’re just on a break, i’m outside getting some air and i didn’t know whether you were on the plane yet or not - you know you could’ve taken air max if you wanted to?”
y/n smiled, “i didn’t need your plane for a trip to monaco, silly! i’ll only be on the flight for a little while anyway and i’m only going because i’m having withdrawal symptoms from my babies!”
“why would you say this, now i want to see them!”
the boarding sign popped up, “ah! i gotta go maxy, i’ll text you when i’m back at yours - what time does the cat sitter go?”
“she will have left like an hour or so before you get back. stay safe, i -”
there was chatter in the background, “i gotta go, bye!”
max hung up quickly. y/n was left to her thoughts again and just how much life can change. this time three years ago she was making notes about the season coming, turns to watch and previous first lap incidents and now she’s compiling gossip on the grid’s personal lives? part of her wanted to be ashamed, but in the same vain, she knew that her adversaries hadn’t spared a moment for introspection.
max’s apartment in monaco was alight with the impatient meows from brando, sassy and jimmy. the cats yowled like they hadn’t been fed in days, although clarissa, the cat sitter, had sent max and y/n nearly hourly updates on them.
“oh my babies! momma missed you so much!” y/n said, abandoning her suitcase at the door and ushering the cats towards the couch. once she was sat, brando bullied his way onto her lap, his spot, and jimmy and sassy snuggled up beside her as closely as possible.
she pulled out her phone and snapped a quick picture of herself and the cats and sent it to max.
max: all my favourites in one place, you’re making listening to christian drone on even harder
y/n: you better keep listening, maxy, don’t want anyone else winning this season do you?
max: i do hate losing…
y/n smiled to herself, there was no lying to now, this place with the cats and max felt like home. the most at home y/n had felt for years.
“right, momma needs to shower and cook, babies!” brando did not look impressed but consoled himself by going back to grooming an equally unimpressed jimmy.
y/n rustled around max’s wardrobe trying to find a smaller towel for her hair. max wasn’t the most organised, especially with a wardrobe where he could just shut the door and forget the mess behind it. she finally got the towel loose, but with the last yank, a small book came flying out of the wardrobe.
the book was a small leather-bound book, clearly loved, bursting at the seams with use. y/n flicked open the book, scanning a couple of the pages. she could recognise the handwriting anywhere, was this max’s diary?
y/n flicked through a couple more of the pages before she landed on a page that boldly stated “fuck lando” in bold capitals. oh? the page was dated for a day in january 2020, just before she started her formula one career.
she knew this was a massive invasion of privacy, but max had never mentioned having a bust up with lando around that time - her curiosity had gotten the better of her.
i don’t know what lando’s problem is? i was on a discord call with him, george and alex this evening and he was in such a mood with me. it was all about y/n as usual with him, he’s being proper weird about her. of course we’ve already started training and discussing racing lines? we’re best friends. it’s almost like he knows i have feelings for her? but i know i haven’t been THAT obvious, at least not as bad as him and george. they think i don’t know, but they must think i’m dumb or blind (or both). he’s going to ruin his friendship with her if he’s not careful. i have loved y/n for as long as i can remember, but i don’t ever intend on making that her problem - why would she ever want to be with me? they assume because they’ve known her so long that they have this weird claim on her. i don’t know - i have a bad feeling about how this might all play out… i’ll just be there for y/n, she’s going to need it…
y/n slapped the book shut, feeling guilty about just how much she had read. max had liked her for that long? even when she was a jittery rookie with hormonal acne and way too much to say. and lando has always had this problem? there was never any chance of them being good teammates was there?
it feels like there’s a surprise around every corner since y/n reopened the pandora’s box that is formula one. how much was there left to reveal? to hurt her? can she handle what other secrets the sport has waiting for her?
but on the other side, if she had stayed in the shadows, y/n would’ve never known about max’s feelings and would never have the opportunity for what she feels right now.
y/n tucked the book back in the wardrobe and tried to wash the guilt off in the shower.
bahrain international circuit
testing was a boring affair for everyone that wasn’t in or working on the car. y/n was on her third coffee of the morning just out of pure boredom. kimi was in the car for the morning session and despite him paying her salary, toto did not seem like he’d make good conversation based on the frown on his face.
y/n saw sky making their way back down the pit lane and ducked back into the drivers’ rooms. because timing and fate loved y/n, george was leaving his just at the same moment.
it took a concerted effort not to roll her eyes as she forced out a quick good morning. george stopped in his tracks.
“good morning to you too?”
y/n gave him a nod and continued to kimi’s room, george grabbed her hand.
“are we going to have a problem the entire season? all of kimi’s career?”
“why would i have a problem, george? is there a reason i should have a problem?”
george huffed, “listen to me. we used to be so close… i wasn’t the one who crashed into you, why are you treating me like this?”
“george i’m not treating you like anything! 19 other drivers didn’t hear from me, you’re not special.”
y/n took a sip of her coffee, trying to school her heart rate, “you may have not crashed into me, but you hardly said much afterwards. you didn’t even come and visit me in the hospital? you didn’t post or say a single thing about me? you barely could bring yourself to say my name, so please spare me the lecture.”
george opened his mouth to respond but stopped, he tried to make eye contact with y/n but she avoided it.
“i didn’t think you wanted to see anyone to do with formula one! and you’re you! you hate dumb shit like instagram dedications and all that stuff…”
“you and your little partner in crime seem to be baffled about how max was the one who slipped through the cracks and stayed in my life. well read between the lines, idiot! his dedication to me is still pinned on his account, my number is on his helmet and he made the effort after the crash! you did nothing and you still expect me to coddle you?”
george tried to interject, “no! i think you’ve said enough already, george. you say all of this shit about how i led you on, but now you’re bringing up old drama when you’ve been in a relationship for years? so what’s the real reason? because so help me god, you fuck with kimi and i burn this whole place down.”
just behind george, y/n saw toto come into view. the austrian’s face told her that he had heard everything.
“well wasn’t that just great, thank you, you two. next time you have a domestic at track, please lower your voice, the entire garage now knows your business.”
“toto, i can assure you i will be nothing less than professional this season. winning with mercedes is my top priority, y/n will learn her place in this garage.”
even toto seemed taken aback by george’s words. y/n turned, her shoulder knocking george’s on the way past, “i think toto is well aware of who he hired and i know my place, just like kimi knows his… don’t crane your neck too much looking up at him on the podium.”
y/n shut the door to kimi’s driver room, and slid down to the floor. it was only the first day of testing and she’s exhausted. just outside the room she can hear george and toto still talking.
“i’m just saying i think it’s insane and honestly a little disrespectful that you hired her to begin with, toto.”
“i hired her because she was a talented driver and is willing to mentor kimi. i was not aware you two had a problem, and the fact that i’ve heard so much about it now without knowing what it actually is makes me think that the problem was in fact YOU. now calm down and get ready for your session.”
okay, maybe not all hope was lost. but y/n knew that this was just the start, the real racing had yet to begin and who knows how far george could take it, especially if the mercedes is competitive and especially if he finds out about her and max.
y/n popped open her laptop to keep track of kimi’s times on track but found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. by the time her impromptu nap had finished, kimi was making his way back into the garage, finishing the morning session. y/n made her way back into the garage to greet him as he made his way out of the car.
the session looked positive for the italian, but the pair were still anxious to see how george would perform, considering both were on the same program for the day. when kimi lifted his helmet, the two made eye contact, the italian’s eyes were so expressive that y/n could already hear the excited chatter.
“oh my god, y/n that was amazing! i know i’ve driven f1 cars before but knowing it’s actually mine for the season? wow!”
“well i’m glad you enjoyed it, let’s get some electrolytes in you before we sit down to analyse everything.”
the pair headed for the mercedes hospitality, with the other morning drivers doing the same throughout the paddock. during y/n’s nap she had missed the only real incident of the day, but a certain spaniard was about to make sure she knew.
“hey! antonelli!”
kimi’s head whipped around to see an angry carlos sainz charging towards him. the spaniard was clearly taking advantage of the lack of media outlets allowed at testing, getting in kimi’s face.
“you might be a rookie, but you’ll stay out of my way, got it? impede me like that again and we’ll see what happens!”
y/n pulled kimi behind her and jabbed her finger at carlos’ chest. “you self-important asshole, he didn’t impede you it’s testing. i know you’re at williams this season, so you’re going to have to invent a storyline for yourself, but trust me, this is not the one you want.”
“stay out of this y/ln, why don’t you stick to hopping into whoever’s winning’s bed, huh?”
y/n let out a sarcastic laugh, not caring about the small crowd forming around them. “your glory days, well whatever you call being stuck in charles’ shadow, playing politics with daddy to get given wins at ferrari only to be cast aside when you got a bit too big for your boots, are over. don’t be the bitter old bitch that makes rookies’ lives hell? oh wait, you’ve always been that way haven’t you?”
“you are a perpetual victim, y/n. that was years ago, get over it.”
“and yet you still act the exact same way. telling, really.”
carlos stayed quiet this time and y/n took that as the chance to guide kimi to hospitality. with their backs turned, “she won’t always be there for you, rookie! she can’t sleep with all of the stewards and she won’t be in the office to bat her eyelashes. so watch your back.”
y/n kept walking despite kimi tugging on her arm, wanting to retaliate. “stop. let him make a fool of himself.”
despite y/n trying to de-escalate the situation, max was less willing to do so. the dutchman had only heard a fraction but that was enough to rear the head of mad max.
“you think you’re so cute with this shit don’t you, sainz,” max said, looming over the spaniard, “you people never change, it’s pathetic.”
“the only thing that’s pathetic here is you, being her lap dog - and we’re meant to be scared of you? all we gotta do is flash an ankle or raise a hand and you’ll be eating out of our palm.”
max’s hands were shaking by his side and it took everything inside of him not to lunge at carlos. y/n’s grip on kimi tightened when jos was brought up, the crowd around them tensing as well.
“i don’t know what she does for you, but you surely can’t still be falling for it all these years later. i remember at toro rosso when you’d wake up the whole camp screaming in your motorhome and you’d call her crying. a four-time world champion and you still go crawling back to her.”
“she’s worth more than you could ever wish to be. i don’t know what propaganda your dad or lando has been feeding you, but you’re a grown man, you’re too old to be falling for it. now leave her and kimi alone. i’d threaten you, but it’s unlikely that williams will be anywhere near me this season.”
max gave one last look to y/n before running back towards the red bull garage. the crowd that had formed chattered amongst themselves and started to disperse. carlos looked enraged but backed off, not without one final glare towards the italian.
“i didn’t know formula one was just this dramatic,” kimi said, “i need to work on my insults!”
y/n laughed, but a voice from behind her stopped her dead in her tracks.
“always the centre of drama, aren’t you y/n? always looking for trouble.”
zak brown.
fin.
note: wow this took me so long to write and i kinda hate it! i am in such a rut rn idk what to do ? but i hope you guys enjoyed it anyway!
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loves0phelia · 6 months ago
Note
hello! hope you’re okay after the ending, honestly I don’t think any of us are.
I wanted to request a rafe x pogue reader where it’s that boat storm scene and instead of Sarah falling it’s reader and she’s just drowning and Rafe jumps in after her. He doesn’t know why he did it but he just has a soft spot for her and it’s just really angsty but also cute.
thanks! I love your account btw!
In The Sea
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summery: the anon
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: grammar mistakes
A\N: thank you to everyone who has been requesting it makes me very happy xxx
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You stand at the edge of the deck, clutching the railing as the boat rocks, waves rolling against the hull. The salty breeze whips your hair around your face, and the peaceful ocean sounds made you think about the current situation.
You didn't expect Rafe to save you and your friends from being arrested, much less expect him to find a boat big and resistant enough to drive you all to Morocco Africa to find the blue crown. It was truly a surprise considering you and Rafe's history.
“So what? Are we just on our way to Africa now?” Kiara asked the group as if she couldn't believe that Rafe Cameron was willingly helping them.
“Quick little weekend trip?” She added to her previous sentence.
“What about Rafe? We know what he did to the cross and now we want to go after the crown with him?” You and the rest of the pogue's lips go into a thin line at the memory.
“Sarah, you're his family, how do deal with him” John B said, finding no other options.
“I don't- I don't know, I think maybe y/n might have a chance of convincing him to behave but..” she shrugged and you felt the stares of your friends burn holes through you. Your past relationship with him was a secret to nobody.
“We- we just have to talk to him, or at least try” You proposed earning a frown from JJ.
“Talk to Rafe? When has he ever just communicated with us?” 
“Talking to him is the only option we have, but you're definitely not talking with him,” John B said and as expected everyone nodded and hummed, agreeing. JJ was in no place to talk with Rafe.
“Why not? What did I do?” He asked, getting almost frustrated.
“We all know you and him are far from being civil, the last thing we need is you triggering him and causing trouble” His girlfriend, Kiara, tried to explain the easiest way but he still got defensive. After a couple of bickering from JJ and John b You finally decide to go speak with him, who was driving the boat not too far away from the deck.
“Hey,” You knock on the metal and rusted door before entering and walking up to him. His eyes catch yours and there's a tension between the two of you. But Rafe only tilts his head to acknowledge you.
You swallow, feeling the weight of his stare. "We just want to talk," you say, steadying your voice as the rest of your friends beside JJ follow behind you.
“All right let's talk” Rafe chuckles, and it’s low, almost a whisper. 
Your mind goes almost blank as you take him in, you haven't been this close since you were forced in the same room by Sighs men last year. You had almost forgotten how much you missed him.
“You guys be cool I'll be cool” His voice snapped you out of your daydream, realizing you had missed a bit of the conversation.
“So now you want peace?” Pope leaned back and scoffed, not believing a word that came out of his mouth.
“I just saved all your asses, how about a thank you?” He glanced at all of you one by one, but he only earned silence,
“Listen I don't want any part of your little fairytale treasure hunt bullshit, I'm just looking for Groff” He’s breathing heavily, holding himself back from adding more snark,
“Hey, Rafe!” Before anyone can react, JJ’s fist flies through the air, cracking against Rafe’s jaw with a force that echoes.
Rafe’s head snaps back, his expression stunned for a split second before he crumples, hitting the hard metal floor. For a moment, everyone is frantic, staring at the lifeless form sprawled across the floor, his eyes closed, completely knocked out.
“holy shit”
“Jesus JJ what's your problem”
“Whoo that felt good” Tired of JJ's crazy actions the girls walk away shaking their heads in disbelief until you are the only one staying behind.
JJ stands over him, breathing heavily, the adrenaline still pulsing through him as he looks down at Rafe. His fist is red, already bruising, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“What is wrong with you?” You look at him, feeling a rush of shock mixed with panic. You fall to your knees next to Rafe and quickly look over his injuries, softly rubbing your thumb on his jaw.   “If he didn't do it I was going to do it” Pope added only worsening the situation. You shook your head and furrowed your eyebrows at his sentence.
After the pogues agreed it was probably not a good idea to let Rafe free in case he woke up and decided to shoot you all with his “peacemaker” you tied him up in a small cabin. His head hung low, his wrists were bound to a stainless steel pole and his legs were uncomfortably folded beneath him. Your heart clenched at the sight of him but still decided to leave him there until he woke up.
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You open the door to the cabin slowly with a tray of warmed-up canned spaghetti in hand, it wasn't the best but it was all the boat had.
“I brought you food..” You whispered before bending down to place the tray in front of him.
“great” he sighed.
“I found aspirin in the medicine cabinet, I figured you'd have a headache, maybe even a concussion” 
“Right… are you gonna throw it in my mouth like a seal or something” He scoffed again clearly angered,
“They don't trust you Rafe… but if you do the right thing maybe they will open up a little bit”
“I am doing the right thing! I helped you” He tried pulling against the restraints but failed. 
“I know okay? I know but unfortunately, I don't have a choice but to let you in here until we get there, I'm sorry” you whispered and pushed the tray closer to him. “Please eat,” You said and left closing the large door behind you.
For a moment you stayed behind the door listening closely. “Y/N come back!” he grunts and kicks his feet on the ground. “Fucking untie me please!!” he screamed and you jumped when you heard the tray you had just put down on the floor fly into the wall.
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Pope leaning over the side, is the first to spot the flicker of movement beneath the water. "Guys! I see one!" exclaims, his voice a mixture of excitement and focus. He scrambles for the fishing rod, almost knocking over the tackle box in his rush.
John B is right beside him, laughing. “We've got our dinner!" he laughs.
“Guys, this one’s huge!” Kie giggles with the boys knowing we were all set for dinner time tonight.
You all spent the rest of the day cooking the fish you caught and preparing side dishes with some good music in the background.
Until it was time for Rafa's second meal.
You open the door carefully and his eyes catch yours, this time you don't speak, simply set the tray of seasoned salmon down in front of him.
Has you were about to close the door you hear him.
“Wait, y/n. Can you please- can you give me the fork” his tone is much softer than before so you can't deny him. 
You get down and pick up the utensil his bound hands couldn’t reach.
“Thank you” He murmured, and you barely heard him as you closed the door behind you once again.
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The sky darkens ominously as thunder rumbles in the distance, low and threatening. Waves crash harder against the hull of the boat, tossing it with a force that leaves you gripping onto anything within reach. The storm monitor flashes red to show the storm coming ahead of you.
“That's not good,” John B says.
“We're gonna have to try to blast through it,” Pope says, not finding any better options.
“Why can't we go south?” Kie asks genuinely.
“The current is gonna be against us we don't have a choice” John B agreed even after trying to find safer options, the boat's roar has Pope push the lever controlling the engine to the max. 
The waves make the boat shift side to side making it difficult to stay up and steady.
Another massive wave crashes over the side, drenching them all, and you lose your footing, sliding across the deck until Kie grabs your arm, pulling you back.
“Hold on to something” Kie yells at you pope and Sarah and you all grip onto the nearest thing.
“Hey!” a distant voice echoes through the walls.
“Cut me loose! Y/N! Somebody!” Rafe screamed and banged his fists on the wall.
“Get me out of here!” Everyone listens but doesn't move a finger.
“We have to let him out” You scramble to your feet but jerk back when Cleo grabs your wrist.
“No!” she says trying to stop you but you pulled back.
“He's gonna drown” You pull open rapidly the drawers trying to find something sharp, able to cut the thick ropes wrapped around Rafe's hands.
The storm is relentless, its fury tossing you around like a rag doll as you try to reach him.  
You cling to the railing, struggling to stay upright as the boat lurches violently, nearly sending you sprawling across the floor. Your legs buckle under you. You come crashing through the door and walk onto the water-soaked floor knife in hand.
“Cut me loose” he begs.
Crouching in front of him you began frantically cutting the rope. Your muscles burn with how much pressure you're using.
“Shit,” You say when a sudden jerk of the boat makes your face come inches apart from his, lips almost touching. You don't have time to think as you regain your balance and continue cutting the bounds.
“There! Come on” you yelled and quickly grasped his hands to pull him up from the floor.
You both run to shelter but the boat jerks side to side even more violently,
“Something is wrong I have to go see!” 
“No!” Rafe tried holding on to you but you were already rushing away onto the deck where waves came crashing, a massive wave rose out of the dark, towering over the boat like a shadow.
You barely had time to think before it crashed down, an icy, unforgiving wall of water that slammed into you with the force of a sledgehammer. The impact was too strong and you were thrown backward, landing hard on the deck. Pain explodes through your shoulder, the wind knocks from your lungs. Dazed and gasping, you try to get up, but the boat tips again, and before you can stand, another wave strikes.
This one is worse, merciless, catching you just as you struggle to rise. Your fingers graze the edge of the railing, but the slick metal slips through your grasp. In an instant, the world spins as you are thrown away from the boat, the cold, raging ocean swallowing you whole.
The water is a shock, freezing and chaotic, disorienting you as you plunge beneath the surface. You thrash, fighting to reach the surface, lungs burning, but the waves toss you back and forth, each effort to rise met with another rush of icy water.
Back on the boat, Rafe catches a glimpse of you disappearing over the side, and his heart stops. “Y/N!” he screams, panic cutting through the storm. Without a second thought, he scrambles to the railing, nearly slipping himself as he peers out into the dark, searching for any sign of you.
“Where is she!” Sarah came rushing to her brother
“She fell overboard” he yells already reaching for a rope with the floating boyee. He’s soaked, exhausted, and barely steady, but there’s no hesitation as he jumps in after you.
“Rafe no!” She screams after her brother.
A wave slams into Rafe. “Y/N!!” he yells in the water as he sees you trying to stay above the water far away.
With the last of your strength, You swim faster and harder towards Rafe and reach out when you're near, fingers brushing his arm, grasping it tight. Rafe holds you with everything he has.
“I got you” But you don't hear him in the storm.
You both hold on to each other your arms around his neck and his around your waist as the boat floats away and the night turns into a void.
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“Hey, open your eyes, look at me” You feel gentle hands grasping on your face as you finally sit up coughing out the water that filled your lungs.
“That's it” The hands rub your back in a comforting way.
The sand is hot beneath you, warming up your skin, and with exhaustion, you fall onto Rafe's chest.
“Hey you okay?” panicked, he grabs onto your shoulder and pushes you a little bit to take a good look at your face.
“You jumped after me,” you whispered.
“Of course I did”  You look up at him, heart pounding, feeling a rush of gratitude, fear, and something deeper—something that’s been smouldering beneath the surface, unspoken, for far too long. Your eyes shine with tears, not sad and not happy either but grateful. 
His hand reaches up, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your skin. His touch is warm, and grounding, and you feel your heart racing even faster under his gaze, intense and unreadable, like he’s seeing you for the first time.
Without another thought, you lean in, closing the space between the two of you as you press your lips to his, a spark igniting into a wildfire the moment you connect. Rafe’s surprise melts away instantly, and he kisses back, fierce and unrestrained, his hands finding your waist.
The kiss is charged, fueled by adrenaline, and a longing that neither of you can deny any longer. Your hands find his shoulders, clinging to him, grounding you in his warmth, his strength, the feel of his heartbeat thundering beneath your touch. 
Rafe’s fingers trail up your back, sending shivers along your spine, and his lips move against yours with an urgency that speaks of everything left unspoken.
When you finally pull apart, breathless, Rafe’s forehead rests against yours, his eyes searching yours as he lets out a shaky laugh, almost in disbelief.
“You saved my life” you smile, brushing a thumb over his cheek, still feeling the warmth of his kiss lingering on your lips. “I love you, I've always loved you” you whisper, and before you know it, you're kissing again, the ocean waves crashing nearby, the world forgotten as you lose yourselves in each other.
“I never stopped loving you,” he whispered.
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Send request xxx
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dollgxtz · 9 months ago
Note
Ok a fic where reader and sylus are at a business meeting, she “offers” herself as payment (maybe as a joke or just to rile sylus idk) and he makes sure to remind her who she belongs to? Please???
Kindred Spirits
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Word Count: 5.1k
Tags: sylus x fem!reader, possessiveness, ownership, spanking, hitting, slight blood mention, pet names like kitten & sweetie, creampie, rough sex, crying, slight fluff at the end :3
AN: Anon ur a literal genius. This has Sylus written all over it. Im so happy to be back posting another story for you all! Also happy to announce my masterlist is now complete and can be found in my pinned! Ty all! Enjoy and remember, my asks are open for any character, Sylus is just my husband LOL. Remember to read my pinned before requesting please! This is a bit tamer than my other stories but trust I am cooking up some deviant content as soon as I publish this one :33
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“Finally…”
You nearly collapse near your front door. A whole week of your life. Gone. To what you ask? Dealing with wanderers on a special aid mission. Sure sure, the job paid well but it had been weeks since your last off day. Every time it seemed like one was around the corner here they go with some emergency call and a spill about how some rich politician needed help or something.
You were starting to get tired of cleaning up other people’s mistakes.
You fumbled with your keys, fingers numb from the biting cold. The wind whipped around you, making you shiver as you tried to fit the right key into the lock. Your breath came out in visible puffs, and you could feel the frustration building with each failed attempt. Finally, with a relieved sigh, you heard the click of the lock turning.
The still warm air is such a welcoming contrast to the wind and biting cold outside. You quickly shut your door and melt to the floor, your feet aching with relief as the pressure you had been putting on them subsided. Peace at last. Time for a hot shower an-
Your peace was cut short with the distinct tone of your phone ringing. And not just any ring tone. The one you had set specifically for a certain white haired man that only ever brought trouble. Wondering if you should even pick up, you bring the phone to your face, knowing that you were going to answer regardless.
“Sylus…I’m really tired. Can we talk lat-"
“Long time no see kitten. You should stop by for a bit, hm?”
You roll your eyes, suppressing the urge to scoff out loud. Arrogant prick, you think, irritated by his inability to let you finish a sentence without interrupting. How did he even know you were home now?
You sigh deeply, feeling the tension building, and rub your temples to alleviate the mounting frustration. No, you tell yourself firmly. You wouldn’t put up with this today. Maybe another day, but definitely not today.
"Actually, no. I just returned from a week-long aid mission. Not today," you say firmly, aiming to be clear and resolute in your decision to stay put. Sylus however, seems to sense the cracks in your resolve and only responds with a chuckle.
“I want to see you. I’ll have Luke and Kieran come get you since you’re so tired”.
“Hu-”
“See you soon. They’re en route. Ciao”
The phone clicks, signaling the end of the call. For whatever reason, your ever growing frustration simply dissipates, defeat taking its place. You should be used to this by now. Sylus always gets what he wants. And you always let him. It goes without saying that it’s the same way for you as well. At least, Sylus always gives you what you want if it doesn’t interfere with his need to lay his eyes on you at least once in awhile. He knew that you wouldn’t push this though. You both knew.
Deep down, you wanted to see him too.
You asked Luke and Kieran to wait outside for a bit while you took a brisk shower and freshened up. Those two had always been very patient and understanding. You felt bad “bossing” them around, and yet they always insisted that you could. Though Luke had admitted on one occasion that he never expected to be helping a girl find hair ties or carrying shopping bags while working for Onychinus.
The statement had made you laugh a bit. You finally finish dressing in some plain sweats and rush to the car. Luke and Kieran are waiting outside of a dark colored jeep. Not too flashy as to not draw attention, but it was still clearly very expensive.
“Actually miss, Boss wanted you to wear these” Luke says, holding out an expensive looking dress. Clearly designed by hand and tailored to your measurements. Kieran follows his lead, holding out a box containing a pair of earrings and a lavish looking necklace.
“Huh? What’s this for? A date?”
“Business. That’s all he said” Kieran chimed in. Although you couldn’t see their faces, you knew they had no reason to lie to you about this.
“Ah. Dragging me into more trouble. Got it”.
When the three of you finally arrived to the location, the sun had already set for the day. You darted your eyes back and forth, squinting above at the bright neon sign of the establishment.
“We’re not going to the N109 Zone? This is a nightclub…” you mutter, taken aback by the unfamiliar surroundings. When did this even get here? There were plenty of clubs in Linkon of course, but you never seemed to notice this one. Not that you knew much about the night life to begin with. People were lined up at the entrance, chatting, fixing makeup, or texting.
“Boss wants you here. He’s waiting inside. Enjoy your time miss” Luke said, amusement written all over his tone. He gets out of the passenger seat to open the door and lend you a hand. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to appear shaken up by the situation. Sylus was always full of surprises. This was no different, act confident.
At least, that’s what you tried to tell yourself. After getting almost immediate entrance into the club with just a simple nod from the guard, you enter. As you walk inside the club, Luke and Kieran not far behind you, you can tell this was no ordinary night club. Everyone here was dressed lavishly and sharp, clearly possessing power and ulterior motives. A few eyes lay on you as you walk in, and you feel your hands start to sweat.
Keep cool. This isn’t the first time you’ve been around high ranking individuals. This is probably some test he set up…right? Or some kind of joke to get a laugh?
Clenching your fists, your eyes dart and search for a tall figure with white hair, feeling more nervous by the second that you don’t see him. You’re about to turn around and ask one of the twins, but at last your gaze settles on him, sipping on a glass of Gin Fizz. He’s sitting in a velvety booth by himself, people watching. He’s wearing his black button up with red streaks across it, coat hanging on his shoulders per usual. As if he felt you staring, his eyes shift to meet yours. He sets down his glass, giving you you a small smirk. His eyes narrow, sending a very clear message.
Come here.
As if you were suddenly possessed, your feet seem to start moving on their own. You weren’t sure if you were relieved to see him or if it was just the relief of seeing a familiar face in an unfamiliar place. You take a few deep breaths as you approach, readying your witful replies to any of his attempts to make fun of you. Without making any sound or looking at him, you quietly slide in next to him.
“You look nice. Seems I was right about this look on you” Sylus says, taking another sip of his drink. His eyes wander up and down behind the glass, seemingly devouring you. You squirm under his gaze.
“Hm. Thanks. This gift is the least you can do after dragging me to do whatever you want on a whim once again” you scoff, eyeing the full glass that sits on the table. It’s another glass of Gin Fizz, probably for Sylus. There’s three other very empty glasses on the table.
This man can definitely hold his alcohol.
He chuckles, taking a finger and pushing the glass of Gin closer to you.
“Don’t be like that sweetie. Loosen up a bit, you’ll need it”
“For what exactly? Business?” you mock, picking up the Gin. You didn’t exactly like the taste of this particular alcohol of choice but Sylus was right about one thing. Some liquid courage was definitely needed for whatever shenanigans he was dragging you into tonight.
“Yeah. Figured I could use Linkon’s darling Miss Hunter as backup” Sylus chuckles, watching you nearly choke as you take three big gulps of the drink. You squeeze your eyes in disgust as you finish the rest of the glass, shooting a death glare in his direction as you set it down.
“You’re perfectly capable. Don’t mock me Sylus”. You grit your teeth in irritation, almost ready to rip him to shreds with your words. Clearly your tone has no effect on him though, as all you get in return is a soft smile. Sylus places a hand on your upper leg, slowing sliding his fingers under your dress. You gasp, the coldness of his fingers making you twitch a bit. The warmness of your skin mixed with his cold touch makes the sensation feel like icy fire.
“Or what? You’ll use this on me?” he smirks, tugging on the concealed gun strapped under your dress. “I’m all for it honestly”
You slap his hand away, the woozy feeling from the Gin Fizz starting to kick in. What was in this drink? It was strong. Too strong.
“Pervert. Always touching me, making fun of me. Maybe I will shoot you. Again.” you growl, turning your head away from him. You attempt to scoot away as well, but are met with a strong grip around your waist as you’re pulled into closer proximity with him. Sylus grabs your chin and lifts it towards his face. He leans down a bit, the smell of alcohol and his bourbon vanilla cologne making you feel even more dizzy.
“You can put your claws away now kitten. Don’t make me have to melt your little tantrum away” he coos, gently caressing your face with his thumb.
You stare at him, dumbfounded, desperately searching your sluggish brain for a comeback but finding yourself too flustered to form any words. The look in Sylus’s eyes shifts from a smug expression to a much softer, almost tender gaze, and you wonder what his next move will be. Your face starts to burn as you feel heat rising in your core, your heart pounding in your chest. Panic sets in as you consider the possibilities, your mind racing with the fear of what might come next.
Don’t tell me he’s going to…?!
"You're so...confusing" you mutter.
You’re just about to try and squirm from his grip, when Luke and Kieran tap on the table, catching yalls attention.
“Boss man, Val says he’s ready for ya” Luke says, nonchalantly ignoring the scene that’s displayed in front of him. Sylus releases your face, his face going serious again. He gets up, reaching out a hand to help you out of the booth.
“Time for business, sweetie”
You’re guided by the twins and Sylus past the sweaty bodies on the dance floor to a somewhat hidden room located downstairs. The area the stairs led to was blocked off by a singular rope, clearly only meant for a select crowd.
In the room there’s a long black table, cards and chips all over it. There’s a few prominent figures already seated, along with a few bodyguards standing near the door. Sylus pulls a seat out for you, before taking his own. You study the figure that’s sitting at the head of the table as you sit. He’s short, a bit chubby, dark hair, smoking a cigar. A scar sits angrily on his forehead and you wonder what kinda grudges led to such an injury. He notices you looking at him, and gives you a devilish grin. Some of his teeth are crooked or missing.
All that money and he can't fix his smile?
You shudder. Sylus looks over at you, and back to the man at the head of the table. He’s reading you, clearly sensing your nervousness. He says nothing, simply reaching a hand over to rest on your thigh.
“Was starting to think you were going to keep me waiting Sylus. Seems you didn’t run after all” he laughs, wheezing a bit as he takes another puff of his cigar. You wrinkle your nose a bit as the potent smell hits your senses.
“I couldn’t turn down a game of cards with my dear old friend” Sylus says, irritation coating the last word. “Let’s keep things civil this time, hm Valentino?”
Valentino bursts into laughter, clearly amused. Despite his laughter, you couldn’t ignore the murderous tension in the air. Something tells you this isn’t any regular game of cards. You gulp, trying to force yourself to look at everyone at the table and smile.
“Well hello little lady. Sylus, you didn’t tell me you kept such gorgeous company…” Val says, his eyes snaking all over your body. You feel Sylus squeeze your thigh, clearly irritated. He pulls out a coin from his coat pocket, seemingly trying to channel his frustrations into something else.
“You know I’m not really the type to share, Val. She’s all mine. Down to every single strand of hair”. Sylus ends, catching the coin and shooting a glare in the man’s direction. It was plain, but conveyed a message very well.
You feel your palms start to sweat. Was he being serious right now?? You side eye him, trying to piece out whether or not this was some kind of facade you’re supposed to play into. Valentino clearly takes Sylus’s words as a challenge.
“I’ll give you twenty million for her. Maybe fifty million if you make her give us a little strip show. What do ya say? She looks so soft. Probably makes cute noises too…~” he chuckles, likely enjoying the look of surprise that washes across your face.
Sylus remains quiet, his face unmoving, frozen in a pissed glare. You don’t know if it was the alcohol you drank earlier, or if it was some inkling of an attempt to dissipate the tension, but you clear your throat and begin to speak.
“Well Sylus? You can share can’t you? It’s quite the generous offer Mr. Valentino. I’m quite flattered actually.” you express, putting on your best smug look. Sylus stiffens, a somewhat shocked expression washing over him. Valentino erupts into yet another fit of laughter, seemingly unable to contain himself. Turning to look back at Sylus, you see it in his face briefly. An uncaged look of rage before it quickly dissipates.
Shit. Shouldn’t have said that.
Far too late to stop now though.
“You heard the lady Sylus. Why don’t you try sharing just this once? What I would give to taste that sweet little body of he-”
Sylus slams a revolver on the table, then calmly starts picking up cards from the deck.
"I'd suggest you stop talking and start playing the game, Mr. Valentino," Sylus snarls, his words dripping with venom. The fury in his voice is palpable, and it's clear he's reached the end of his patience.
You give Val a sly look, feigning pity. “Ah, sorry Valentino. Seems this one can’t quite let me go yet”. You don’t know what you were trying to achieve, but it’s certainly not working to dissipate any tension. Val doesn’t respond to you though, all his focus on Sylus now.
“My dear friend. You should know me by now. There’s something I’m much more interested in now than some money. Now I want the girl, or nothing”.
Valentino wears a shit eating grin on his face, soaking in the fact that he thinks he’s gained some control of the situation, unaffected by the gun on the table. Sylus simply sighs, rubbing his fingers against the temple of his forehead.
“I see where this is going then”.
You barely process what’s happening before everything and everyone starts moving. As soon as Sylus begins to stand, Valentinos guards start shooting. Sylus wastes no time flipping the large table, sending the cards and game chips flying everywhere. You yelp as he yanks you towards him using his body and the table to shield the oncoming attack of bullets. You hear Luke and Kieran joining in the frenzy, yelling obscenities as they begin shooting their own hidden weapons.
You swiftly reach for the weapon concealed beneath your dress, your fingers brushing against the cool metal as you draw it out. Turning to face Sylus, you ready yourself for his instructions, your body tense with anticipation. Instead of giving you orders, he locks eyes with you, his gaze piercing through you with an intensity that feels like it's reaching into your very soul. The silence is heavy, charged with unspoken tension as bullets whip past the both of you, and you can feel your heartbeat quicken in response.
“I need you alive for what’s coming sweetie. Pay attention, stay close”
You blink. Twice. Unable to process his words before he yanks you both up, one hand using his evol to send the table crashing into several bodyguards. The four of you fight your way through the onslaught of people coming into the door, before eventually dashing up the stairs. People are running in all directions, seemingly caught up in the chaos of everything. You all manage to make it out the door and into the brisk cold air, the twins quickly hopping into the car to whisk you away.
“Go on, I’ll catch up soon” Sylus states, hurriedly pushing you into the car and slamming the door before you could protest. He signals Kieran to drive off, and that he does.
“He’s…going to level the building. Isn’t he?” you sigh, sighing at the fact that Sylus seemed to conveniently forget that this was in fact not the lawless land of the N109 Zone. No doubt the Hunter’s Association would have to investigate for potential wanderer activity, and that would be a lot of paperwork.
"It's fine. He owned that place anyway. He'll just build another," Luke says, his voice calm and unbothered. Just as the words leave his mouth, a deafening boom erupts behind the car, shaking the ground beneath yall. The explosion's shockwave rattles the windows, and the sky lights up with a fiery glow, cutting off Luke's next sentence mid-breath.
You groan.
The twins did drive you to the N109 this time, swiftly helping you out the car and into Sylus’s private villa. When you entered the front door, a nightgown and lacy underwear were laid neatly out for you in his room, your arrival clearly anticipated.
It wasn’t more than an hour before Sylus waltzed in the front door, eyeing your slouching figure on the couch. You sit up as soon as you see him, still somewhat annoyed.
“What took you so damn long? Also do you have to level every building you come across?” you spat, glaring at him. He says nothing though, walking straight past you and into his room.
“Huh? Sylus?? What the hell…”
Not liking the feeling of being ignored, you hurriedly chased after him. You had never really been uncomfortable barging into his room. You had done it plenty of times at this point, the first time being when he had challenged you to steal the brooch from him. No point in being shy now. He’s fumbling with something in his drawer when you reach up to tap his shoulder.
“Sylus! Don’t ignore me, I know you ca-”
He swiftly turns around, grabbing your wrist before you can touch him. His gaze is unreadable, cold even. You start to sweat, trying to take your arm back. But he only squeezes tighter.
"I was hoping you'd leave me be so I could calm down. But of course you're as petulant as ever" he says.
"Let go! What's wrong with you!?" You attempt to remove his hand from your wrist but he doesn't budge.
“Go to the bed. Place your hands on it” he says, face unchanging.
“Huh??”
“I don’t like to repeat myself”.
You freeze for only a moment before quickly moving to the bed. You meticulously put your hands where instructed, something deep in your core telling you that it’s likely best to listen for now. However, you can’t help to look over your should to quip at Sylus. You’re slightly bent at an angle, trying your best to keep your balance.
“What’s this about? I’m not that upset that you reduced the building to rubble”
Sylus snakes his way behind you, quietly, as if thinking of what to say. He reaches out a hand, grabbing the ends of your nightgown and moving the soft fabric around in his fingers. You feel the heat rise to your face, the skin of your ass feeling a slight gush of cold air.
“You like playing games with me, don’t you? Testing me” he says coldly, fingers trailing up the back of your legs slowly. You shiver, attempting to squirm away. His evol appears around you, its tight grip making you cry out.
Oh. This was about that.
“Huh?? No, I was just playing along. Just friendly banter yknow?” you say, voice wavering. You’ve clearly pissed him off. A part of you knows it’s a slight lie. You didn’t want to admit it out loud but it was kind of amusing to see Sylus get so riled up over something. Over you especially. But you hadn’t exactly done it fully on purpose. It was the alcohol.
But you knew he wasn’t buying it, as observant as he was.
“Sure. You were just pretending to act like a stray kitten trying to find a new owner?” he smirks, his fingers beginning to trace circles over the cloth of your panties. You let out a small whine, his touch just barely grazing your already wet cunt.
“Owner? I don’t belong to you. Or anyone” you scoff, the resolve in your voice wavering with every little circle he completes on your skin. You almost whine in disappointment when he pulls away.
“And yet…” Sylus trails off, leaving you with aching curiosity before you’re met with stinging pain on your ass. You cry out, unable to move with his evol still snaked around you. “You did exactly what I told you to do just now, wear the clothes I leave out for you, and practically melt everytime I even barely touch you”.
“Sylus?! What the hell was that…?!” you exclaim, trying your hardest to process his words and the situation at hand. He doesn’t respond, proceeding to gently caress the spot where he smacked you. The stinging pain gently eases away, and you feel yourself relaxing with his touch once again. He once again trails his fingers down to your clothed pussy, rubbing slow and meticulous circles around it. You start to whine, attempting to push yourself into his fingers for more friction. He pulls his hand away, making a disapproving sigh.
“Acting like you’re in heat per usual” he chuckles, watching as you wiggle around under the grip of his evol. “This is a punishment”.
“For what? Cause I let some sick and ugly looking crime boss think he had a chance with me?”
Sylus wastes no time bringing his hand to your ass again, earning another painful whine out of you. You feel tears forming in your eyes that you can’t wipe away. He’s certainly not holding back his strength, and yet you know this isn’t even a third of the force he could use on you.
“For entertaining him” he says plainly.
Another smack.
“Another for stupidly handing over your life, body and soul for a measly twenty million”
An even harder hit, this one fueled by rage.
“And lastly…”
You nearly choke as he delivers the final blow, your ass definitely bruising by now. Sylus offers no comfort this time, instead leaning down next to your crying face, breath hot against your ear.
“For forgetting that you belong to me, just as much as I belong to you. Kindred spirits remember?”
You have no chance to respond before he’s flipping you on your back, your nightgown flying up to reveal your wet panties.
“I-im sorry, Sy” you choke, tears blurring your vision.
“Show me then, sweetie. Spread your legs. Wide” he instructs, reaching up to brush your tears away. This isn’t done lovingly, more like calculated and cold.
This is far from over.
You silently but shakingly open your legs, your ass still painfully aching from his assault. You’re surprised when he doesn’t rip your underwear in two, choosing to rather peel them off your legs slowly. You notice the hunger in his eyes as he does so, as if savoring the view of your cunt at his fingertips. A small drop of arousal pools down your ass, and Sylus scoops it up with one finger.
You watch as he puts his finger in his mouth, savoring the drop of you with swiftness. His piercing gaze never leaves yours though, and you want to suddenly run away and hide. This is beyond thrilling, but you try your best to remain as still as possible, scared that he’ll think you’re enjoying it too much and punish you accordingly.
You suddenly can’t take the tension anymore, and close your eyes. You hear the sound of Sylus removing his belt from its loops, then the loud clang as it hits the floor. You feel the bed shift as he lowers himself over you, his face stopping just inches over yours, indicated by the sudden feel and warmth of his breath. He grabs your face in his hand and squeezes your jaw. Hard.
“Look at me kitten” he commands, his tone filled with unkempt rage and anger. Your eyes fly open, terrified.
“I’m the only one that will ever taste you. Repeat it” he says. Before you can get a word out, he’s pushing the fat tip of his cock in your entrance. You cry out in agony, nowhere near ready to have been penetrated. But he doesn’t stop filling you.
“Repeat it. Or I’ll hit you again. Do you want that?”
“You’re t-the…ah!” you whine, his cock halfway inside you at this point. Your poor cunt feels like it’s being impaled, splitting pain soaring through your core.
“Try again”
You let out a whimper, trying your best to push through the pain and put thoughts into words.
“You’re the oh-only one that gets to taste me” you choke out, voice wavering and your eyes teary. Sylus gives a hard thrust, pushing the rest of his length inside you. You cry out again, feeling like you’re on the verge of passing out. Sylus seems unmoved by your outbursts though.
“And?”
You stare at him, barely able to see his face through the tears. What? What does he mean and? He didn’t say anything else did he?
“Hu-what?”
You hear him sigh with disapproval, giving you yet another hard thrust. And another. And another. You’re clinging onto his back now, nails digging into his skin as the sound of the bed creaking and your pants fill the room. Blood has probably been drawn on his back, not that he’d even notice. You can hear him grunting in your ear, clearly enjoying the feeling of you tightening around him when you tense from the pain. Although it still hurts, you can feel yourself accumulating to the shape and size of his length, and the pain lessons a bit more with each thrust. He stops once again, tilting your face in his grip.
“What did I say you forgot? Or is this kitten filled with too much cock to think straight now?” he mocks. You can hear the smile on his face despite not being able to see him clearly. Heat creeps up on your cheeks as you wrack your brain for answers.
“I-you…we’re kindred spirits?”
“Before that sweetie”
You blink the tears on your face away, your vision becoming a bit more clear. Although he’s still gazing down at you, his expression is not as angry as before. Seems he’s gotten a bit of his pent up anger out now.
“I belong to you, Sylus” you say, voice small and whiny from crying. That’s definitely what he wanted to hear, as he began to pepper kisses on your neck, on your cheek, and eventually resting on your lips. You greedily return his affection, leaning into this feverish kiss, the both of you only periodically stopping to pant for air between kisses. He stops, resting his forehead with yours, gazing into your eyes once more.
“And I belong to you. What’s mine is yours. All of it”
You don’t get a chance to respond before he’s thrusting again, this time with a continuous and steady pace. You cling onto him, the exchange of flowery words and rigorous thrusting already bringing you on the verge of ecstasy. Sylus already noticed long before you did though, as he brought his hand between the two of you, circling your clit further your stimulation.
“Go ahead, come undone for me” he whispers, voice strained for nearly being at his end too. Your body obeys, unraveling and writhing with pleasure as Sylus continues to pound into you. You ride your orgasm to its end, till the touching of your clit becomes too much and you whine from overstimulation.
“Sylus…!” you moan, and he stops, already at the start of his own climax. You shudder as you feel him spill into you, his seed immediately beginning to pool down your cunt and to your ass. He pulls his heavy cock out of you, a feeling of emptiness taking its place. For a moment nothing is said, just the sound of the both of you catching your breath.
You decide to break the silence.
“Sylus…I’m really sorry” you start, looking up at him. He simply chuckles, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting up to grab a rag from the bathroom.
“You’ve taken your punishment quite well, why are you apologizing again sweetie?” he says from the bathroom, coming back to wipe you clean. You scoff, slightly tensing from the coldness of the cloth.
“Hmph. Fine, I take it back then. I’m holding a grudge anyways for how hard you hit me”
He simply sighs as he finishes wiping you up. “Back with the infamous wit already? Can’t a man catch a break?”
You sit up, feeling emboldened once more.
“Nope. Maybe don’t hit me with the strength of a thousand suns next time and we’ll see”
Sylus tosses the rag in a laundry basket, making his way back to your side. He pulls you into his arms, embracing you in his warmth. You can’t help but smile against his chest.
“Well, good thing I have all night to make it up to you”
You lightly pinch his side, giggling into his embrace. A question crosses your mind.
"Did you mean it Sylus? We belong to each other?"
Sylus took your face in his hand, giving you a slight smile.
"I don't say stuff I don't mean. You know this"
That's the furthest he was willing to explain it. At least for now. Who knows what kind of power trip would ensue if you truly knew how much you had the big bad leader of Onychinus wrapped around your finger.
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chithereader · 5 months ago
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l-o-v-e / aaron hotchner
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part 2 to jealousy, jealousy!!!! word count: 2.1k pairing: aaron hotchner x f!bau!reader, shy!reader genre & cw: hotch being so in love!! jealousy plot, made-up case, and different use of cm character a/n: i got so much love for jealousy, jealousy it has been so surprising to me how much u guys loved it!! i really hope you enjoy this part 2 as we finally get some clarity to their feelings for each other!!
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With your jaw slightly dropped, you manage to get out an “Uh..” Then you clear your throat as if that will make actual words come out then— “Uhh..” 
Now you didn’t know how long you were staring at Hotch. Yet somehow you were aware that the silence— your silence was stretching out for too long. Like a fish out of water, you continue to move your mouth soundlessly. 
And if you were actually underwater, you knew a series of air bubbles would come out in a line from your lips. 
Deep inside, Hotch was getting a little worried. That maybe he came on a little too strong. 
Was that too bold? Was that out of the blue? What if you think he’s joking? Or worse, what if you think he’s not taking you seriously? 
On the outside, Hotch is trying very hard to maintain his calm and collected composure, not letting too much emotion seep through his expression. Making sure he doesn’t look worried or too proud, too scared or too smug. 
The small smile on his face is one that he hopes to convey what he means: that he seriously likes you and that he doesn’t mean to embarrass you. But it is a smile that slowly fades the more he sees the panic growing in your eyes. 
Loud clapping shakes you both out of your individual worries as Derek teasingly cheers for the development in your romance— hooting and whooping about how the boss man has finally made his move. 
As if suddenly remembering that there are other people in the room, you both look around to check the other team members’ faces. 
To your surprise, Reid is blushing even more than you and Hotch are, and to absolutely no one’s surprise, Rossi is looking straight at Hotch with a smug grin. Raising his hands theatrically slow to clap painfully slow for his best friend. 
“My man.” Derek proudly says still clapping, and if he was brave enough to risk losing a hand tonight, he would have stood up to pat his boss on the back. 
Hotch shakes his head bashfully, cheeks turning increasingly red.  He looks down at his shoes to hide his face a bit, mumbling a low, “Shut up.” 
But Rossi being Rossi, was not gonna let the moment go, “I gotta say, Hotch, I didn’t think you’d ever do it…or anything actually.” 
Looking at Hotch, you start to giggle. He’s got his head facing the ceiling, acting playfully exasperated at his team’s antics. No doubt already regretting his public expression a little bit. 
But the laughter dies down into soft giggles, and he straightens a little to look at you. Catching your eye, you smile back at him softly, also hoping that he’d understand what you’re saying with that little smile. I like you too. Don’t worry, you didn’t embarrass me. 
Hotch’s worries are instantly quieted by your smile. Like dust settling on the ocean floor, he feels at peace. 
Your little staring moment though, is suddenly interrupted by his cell ringing. And the room’s mood sombers knowing that there can only be one reason someone will call one of your cells late at night— a new body was just found. 
It’s 7:00am and the sun has risen brightly. Reid and Rossi went to the ME with the body to further examine what’s been done. Meanwhile you, Morgan, Seaver and Hotch stay behind at the crime scene, knowing a fresh scene can tell you the most right now.
You’ve been staying close to Morgan as he theorizes the unsub’s movements. Following and coming up with theories of your own in terms of the order of the unsub’s entry and exit. 
But as much as you are focused on the case, you look at Hotch and Seaver every now and then, who are interviewing witnesses and authorities on the side. 
Hotch catches you looking at him and Seaver, just as Seaver holds on to his arm to fix the strap of her heel. You may have looked extra irritated but you’d blame it on the sun being on your face. 
Looking back at Derek who had gotten quiet, you find him smiling at you teasingly. Already aware of what you were just looking at— more like who. You roll your eyes at him, “Shut up, chocolate.”
Derek shakes his head as he laughs, taking his sunglasses from where it hung his shirt and wears it on you. 
“Calm down, Cyclops. You might just kill the two of them if you’re not careful.” 
You gasp at his audacity, watching his back as he walks away, not even giving you the chance to respond to his teasing. 
Not wanting to stare at his back any longer, you turn around to pick up right where you left off. Only to have the fright of your life seeing Hotch right in front of you. 
With a hand on your chest you catch your breath, “Oh my god! How even—“ One second he’s more than 6 feet away from you, the next second he’s not even 4 inches from you. 
Your heart beats even faster as Hotch’s hands reach up to your face to remove Derek’s sunglasses. “Morgan!”, he shouts and tosses Derek his glasses. 
Derek catches it instinctively and looks to the both of you in confusion, but Hotch looks back at you and takes his own sunglasses off his face to wear it on you. 
Seaver watches all of this unfold from behind Hotch, and you could see it annoyed her. But she puffs her chest and turns to the people she and Hotch were talking to, continuing the interviews they were conducting. 
— 
Now during the case, obviously there wasn’t really any time for you and Hotch to discuss the romance brewing between the two of you. Absolutely no time to indulge in personal matters at a time where other people’s lives depended on you. 
But that’s not to say that Hotch has not followed up his advances with more actions. Not at all— the complete opposite actually. 
He has only become increasingly affectionate and bolder with his actions. He seems to have given up on holding himself back around you. He’s constantly sitting beside you, placing his hand on your lower back as you walk, then he stands behind you constantly towering over you whenever, wherever. 
He’s even given you his handkerchief multiple times so you could wipe your sweat, and when you guys ordered takeout for the night, he made sure to unpack yours for you and hand you your utensils, even standing to get you water from the pantry before he even touches his food. 
He’s been crazy sweet and even more protective than usual, you almost didn’t need words to confirm how he feels about you… if it weren’t for Seaver who has also gotten bolder with her advances towards Hotch. Then I mean, maybe a little reassurance would be nice. 
It seems as if the recent development in yours and Hotch’s romance was something Seaver saw as a challenge- a hurdle she has to get over to win Hotch. 
Annoying you even more, when she arrived at the precinct the next day wearing a revealing top and tight pencil skirt. She looked good, you had to admit. 
Looking down at your own attire, with jeans, boots, and a plain shirt. You felt a little defeated. Obviously you weren’t going to attract Hotch being this plain. 
But you also wanted to be ready. The team was closing in on the unsub who has become more and more erratic, you could almost predict a chase and maybe even a tussle. 
You were standing beside Reid, looking at the board trying to uncover a pattern in the unsub’s dump sites when you heard an agitating little voice say, “Hotch, I think my top unbuttoned at the back. Could you get it for me?”
Tension instantly brews. The team, who has caught on to Seaver’s ploy early on, awaits your reaction. You could feel their gazes on your back, even from Reid who you could feel checking on you from the corner of his eye from where he stands to your right.
But you refuse to give in. You continue- more like pretend to- analyze the map on the board. Even tilting your head a little to sell that you’re really not paying attention to the two. However in all honesty, all your other senses are very much attuned to whatever’s happening behind you. 
Rossi cleared his throat, making you check the room’s reflection on the window on your left through the corner of your eye. And you watch as Seaver turns in her seat away from Hotch, anticipating him leaning close and putting his hands on her. 
Now you thought that since Hotch had an idea about how Seaver makes you feel, that he’d keep his distance. You know, set those boundaries to appease you. But to your surprise, Hotch leans over the distance between his chair and hers, and reaches over to button her top. 
You could feel your face heating up. You don’t know if he simply didn’t care, if he was oblivious, or if he did it on purpose. But now was not the time to act up and make a big deal out of something so trivial. You were all so close to catching the unsub, you poured your focus on the case instead. 
But you need a moment to yourself, maybe a little fresh air or even a pep talk in the bathroom mirror will do. Just as you were about to excuse yourself stepping back from the board, you hear Hotch close the file he was reading- before he was interrupted- loudly. 
His stern voice soon follows, “Just a little advice, Agent Seaver: if you’re assigned to the field, dress like it. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about buttons popping or heels snapping while you’re chasing an unsub or racing to save someone’s life.” 
You couldn’t stop yourself even if you wanted to. Their reflection on the window was blurry enough that you couldn’t make out their facial expressions, so when you hear Hotch’s stern voice your head snaps to look at him in surprise, not expecting him to be annoyed at Seaver given that he’d just helped her. 
You almost feel bad for Seaver who’s turning red in embarrassment. She’d obviously put together an outfit for Hotch. You all knew she was an outstanding agent, so to jeopardise her performance for a man’s attention seemed weird even for her. 
To your surprise, her advances towards Hotch did not stop even after his dig at her unprofessionalism. 
As you were all boarding a jet well into the night, exhausted from the long case, you all noticed Seaver subtly rushing to sit first. Unsurprisingly, she chose the seat beside Hotch’s usual seat. Acting normally, she pulled out a blanket settling in her seat. 
But Hotch, who has been behind you the whole time, was just shadowing your movements. The most exhausted out of all of you, he wasn’t even thinking about where he’ll sit. He was blindly following you like a puppy, with a hand on your waist as if to not get lost. 
He was actually just waiting for you to sit somewhere, then he’d sit beside you. So you chose a couple-seat on the far end of the jet, away from Seaver. Neither of you have the energy to deal with her antics. 
In a last attempt to get Hotch to her, Seaver calls out “Hotch, I saved you your seat!”, even opening up her arms that are covered by the blanket as if to invite him to her warmth. 
But Hotch only looks at her silently, blinking. Then in less than 10 seconds, Hotch takes your hand, intertwines it with his, kisses yours softly, and crosses his arms as he closes his eyes to sleep- leaving your hand somewhat trapped to his body. 
You’re surprised at the bluntness of his affection, considering most of your team members were looking at you after Seaver called him out. 
Stealing a glance at Seaver, you catch her shoulders drop before she settles back into her seat, while Morgan mouths to you “Told you,” from across her. 
Turning your head to look at Hotch, you can tell he isn’t asleep yet though his eyes are closed. You squeeze the hand intertwined with yours, trying to get it out of his grip and crossed arms– he opens his eyes to look at you and softly whines, “Stoopp.”
“Hey!” you whisper. 
He breathes out a grumpy, “What?” to which you smile softly and say, “Fine. I guess I’m your girl.” 
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here's my masterlist!
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kerryweaverlesbian · 9 months ago
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Oh god exhausted Dean in season 5 on Bobby's couch nodding off on Cas's shoulder after a night of insomnia spent talking. Bobby spying them as he quietly comes down for a beer (he's got plenty of shit going on in his head too). Castiel looking with such careful awe at Dean's sleeping face. Oh. So it's like that.
Castiel only flicks his eyes up to Bobby's when he lays a blanket over Dean, and he doesn't change position. Good.
"You taking care of my boy?" Bobby says, quiet as he can without it turning into a whisper (which would definitely wake Dean).
It takes a beat, Castiel's gaze tracking down to Dean, but he answers, "Yes." With appropriate decisiveness.
"He's put a lot of trust in you. We all have."
"Yes. I do not bear it lightly."
"Right answer.
"I feel sometimes...I fear our efforts will not be enough. I fear that certain people are becoming too precious for me to lose."
"Welcome to humanity, angel."
Cas shakes his head with a faint smile, suddenly looking more like a guy you might see at the gas station than a celestial being, but then he settles back into austere. "I am welcomed every time I complain. I wish there were less to complain about."
"You and every unlucky sucker on this craphole we call a planet. There's plenty good around too though."
A snuffle from Dean which turns into half a snore into Cas's shoulder get both of their attention, so Bobby only catches a flicker of Cas’s smile before he schools it neutral. The air's so sweet, Bobby's going to end up with toothache if he stays here too much longer.
"He'll thank you to wake him up before Sam gets down," Bobby tells him, and Cas’s nod is serious. Maybe he already knows. How often has this happened? What's that boy been telling him? For his own peace of mind, he adds: "Ain't nothing to be ashamed of, you hear that? Alls I'm saying is to be careful."
Castiel's head tips to the side just a little, and he gets that look Dean complains of all the time, like he's examining the contents of your soul through the eyes. Then he blinks, and they've reached an understanding. "Thank you."
Bobby waves it away, then slopes back towards bed with a final "'Night Cas. Give my regards to Seeping Beauty."
On his way up the stairs, he hears Castiel murmer, "Goodnight, Dean." and he huffs a tired laugh. Maybe they're not going to do too bad out of this Apocalypse after all.
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