#if not with him just with someone who might actually see me and love me again

[spiderb00]

- BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL

Sophia Laforteza x reader  | (request)

"You and Sophia hate each other, but maybe it's not quite like that..."

Genre – Fluff        Warnings – Not reviewed (sorry, I'm sleepy) 

Now playing – Still Into You, by Paramore 

A sigh of breath came from your lips as soon as you parked your car in front of the house of one of your childhood friends. The moonlight illuminated part of the street and when you turned off the headlights of your car everything seemed to have become a little more tense. Getting out of the car, you took a deep breath, bottle of red wine in hand to at least say that you brought something to the small party.   

When you rang the doorbell, your whole body shuddered, not only because it was a little cold outside, but because of the anxiety of seeing all your childhood friends together again, especially one of them.  

When the door opened, you froze, staring intently at the person who had opened the door for you. Sophia Laforteza, in all her glory. Many might say you were sworn enemies in high school, but you couldn't disagree more.   

"Oh, it's you..." Her tone showed that maybe she hadn't let go of the little disagreements you had.   

Giving an awkward smile, you watched Sophia move out of the way, a silent permission for you to enter. The house was full of conversation and laughter, and before you could think of what to say to Sophia, one of your longtime friends clung to you.  

"YN!" Maya screamed, hugging your neck with excitement. "I didn't know if you would actually come, you seem to be always so busy with your company. Come on, come in." the woman said, pulling you by the wrist.   

If you had turned your face, you would have seen Sophia roll her eyes, walking up to one of the closest friends she had at school and collapsing next to her on the couch. 

"Wow, it feels like you've come back with one of the heaviest energies I've ever felt in my entire life. Who was at the door? O Nosferatu?” Abby, Sophia's friend, asked.   

"Worse, Yn." Sophia said, crossing her arms like a tantrum child.   

"Yn? Like, that girl who had a crush on you?" Abby asks, taking a sip of her martini.   

"She didn't have a crush on me, she hated me. She always tried to steal my roles in school plays. Not to mention when she tore up the letter someone wrote to me on Valentine's Day." Sophia's gaze was watching the kitchen, maybe she wasn't in her right mind, and just maybe she wanted to throw the hollow of the coffee table on your head.   

"Girl, that girl liked you, I'm not crazy. By the way, I'm always right, remember?!"   

"What? Don't you remember how it happened?" 

- High School, Manila – six years ago. 

At that school, every sixteen-year-old's dream was to get a Valentine's Day letter. It was a school custom for a post office to be made during Valentine's Day, so when the day came, everyone would write letters to the people they had a crush on, and that letter would be delivered to each other's lockers during class.   

With the classroom still empty, Sophia and Kylie talked freely, cheerful and super excited to see if their passions had sent them something.   

"I don't know, I just wanted Yn to stop being so boring and like me, at least a little bit." The young Sophia said, organizing the materials for the next class and leaving them metrically positioned on the table.   

"I've already told you that I think she only does all that to get your attention." Abby said, looking at herself in the mirror as she smeared lip gloss.  

"You'll still admit that I'm right, Sophie." Abby said, making Sophia roll her eyes at the nickname. "Do you think Dylan likes my lip gloss?" The girl asked.   

"He'd be an idiot if he didn't like it." Sophia says, making Abby laugh. "It seems lovely to receive a letter from him."  

"He's adorable." Abby said, a cocky tone coming out of her words.   

"I don't think he likes me." Sophia said, pointing to a pencil, so she wouldn't have to do this during class.  

"Of course he likes you, he's just shy." Abby said, not wanting her best friend to think bad things about her boyfriend.   

"yes, it could be." Sophia said, not paying much attention to the words of the girl next to her.   

"Anyway, let's hope you get your letter today." Abby said, making Sophia laugh lightly as she shook her head.   

While Sophia and her friend laugh at the conversation, Yn enters the room, accompanied by Zack, one of the nerdy boys who always hung out with her. Choosing Sophia's back seat, Yn sat down, and the Filipino girl observed the girl's different behavior.   

 "Have you finally decided to pay attention in class instead of sleeping in all of them?" Sophia asked, her tone sounding too sarcastic for Yn.  

"Why don't you take charge of your life." Yn said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, making the Filipina furrow her brows at her. Turning in her chair, Sophia missed something very important, the sigh and the look of sadness that Yn had on her face.  

After school was over, young Sophia was crossing her fingers. Sophia had asked her faithful friend, Abby, to open the door to her closet, wanting to be quick to pick up the letter, but too afraid to look first. The Filipino girl had her back turned, and when she heard the soft creak of her closet door, only one question crossed her mind.   

"And then? Is there something in there?" Sophia asked, the tone of her voice evidenced how nervous she was.  

"Yes." Abby said, positioning the letter she had ordered inside Sophia's closet, in front of the Filipina's face. 

Sophia's breathing was quickened, her hand rose and her hand was aching, tingling to have the letter finally in her possession. As Sophia's fingers brushed against the envelope's paper, a gust of wind hit her, and along with it Hurricane Yn. On top of her battered skateboard, Yn had just stolen the letter from Sophia's hands, paddling her feet faster on the ground, practically flying with the board on wheels.   

"YN! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"   

Passing like lightning through the students, maneuvering and dodging all possible things, Yn tried to go faster. Looking back, the problem girl saw Sophia running towards her, like an angry bull, a bomb about to explode, like anything that could hurt a lot, and Yn was the target.   

Luckily, some students passing through the front door of the school kept it open, giving Yn easier access to the parking lot. With the passenger door open, Yn's nerdy and rich friend, Zack, was waiting for her, nervous that one of them would get into serious trouble. When the boy finally saw Yn coming towards him, he quickly shouted, warning Yn that Sophia was right behind her.   

"YN, COME BACK HERE!" Sophia screamed, still trying to reach the girl, who was now hanging from the door of Zack's Jeep.  

"SORRY!"   

It was the only thing Sophia heard Yn say before the car accelerated. 

"Now do you remember? You ran with me, the whole school thought we were crazy!" Sophia said, finishing remembering the story to Abby.   

"It doesn't matter, we were children. I remember very well how you wanted to receive a letter from her that day." Abby countered Sophia's line, making the woman roll her eyes. "You always rolled your eyes at me in high school, and I was always right."  

"There's no way she'll like me." Sophia muttered.   

"There's no way she'll like me." The same phrase was repeated in the kitchen.   

Yn, who had now begun talking to Maya and Zack about her complicated relationship with Sophia, took a big sip of the beer she had in her hand, trying to forget what a little disaster she was when Sophia opened the door.   

"I never understood, why did you steal her letter anyway?" Maya asked, making you look at Zack.  

Seeing as you were looking at him, the man quickly prepared a shot of tequila for you, which you readily accepted. The liquid burned your throat, and when you finished feeling the consequences of alcohol in your system (just for now), you hit the small empty shot glass on the counter.  

"Let's go..." 

Games has always been one of your favorite topics of conversation with Zack, but when you got close to the classroom, something a little more interesting caught your eye.  

"He's adorable." Abby said, a cocky tone coming out of her words.   

"I don't think he likes me very much." Sophia said, pointing to a pencil, so she wouldn't have to do this during class.  

"Of course he likes you, he's just shy." Abby said, not wanting her best friend to think bad things about her boyfriend.   

Stopping abruptly, you began to pay attention to the girls' conversation. Zack, slightly confused by your extravagant, looked at you as if to ask what was wrong. 

"What are you doing? Let's go in." Before he made the presence of the two of you recognized there, you grabbed him by the back of his shirt, putting your hand on his mouth as he tried to protest.   

"Shut up and listen." You whispered aggressively, causing your friend to raise his hands in surrender.   

"yes, it could be." Sophia said, not paying much attention to the words of the girl next to her.   

"Anyway, let's hope you get your letter today." Abby said, making Sophia laugh lightly as she shook her head. 

That was it, all was lost, your plan to deliver a letter to Sophia and finally confess your feelings to her was over. Every time you tried to do projects in pairs, discreetly changing the teacher's list of names, or every time you auditioned for the male role in a play just because Sophia would narrow down as the princess who needed to be saved, all of that had gone down the drain, she liked another boy.   

Finally understanding what was happening there, Zack put his hand on your shoulder, your sad look made the boy feel bad for you.   

"I'm sorry, Yn." Zack said, trying to comfort you about your first broken heart. 

"Alright, I mean, at least she doesn't know I like her, it would be a clime." You said, laughing falsely as you tried to mask your pain.   

When Zack was going to tell you not to pretend, your eyes widened, a sensation taking over your body, making you shiver from head to toe, the only thing your mind weighed was that Sophia could NEVER see that letter.  

"Zack!" You whispered aggressively, grabbing the shoulders of the boy in front of you. "She can't see the letter!" You said, shaking your best friend's shoulders.   

"Hey, I'm going to get dizzy..."   

"As soon as class is over, wait for me in the parking lot with your car running! I have a plan." You said, dropping Zack and entering the classroom.   

"After that, I think she started to hate me even more." You said, taking one more shot. Grabbing a plastic cup with something Zack mixed.   

"But you know what, I don't care, I don't feel anything..."  

Without paying much attention, you ended up missing the moment when Sophia entered the kitchen, turning around just in time and spilling all your crazy drink on her clothes. Her mouth was open, the perfect shape of an 'o', just like Zack and Maya's.   

"Sorry, I..." You couldn't even finish the sentence, the Filipina was already going up the stairs towards the bathroom.   

 With a sigh of defeat, you rubbed your hands over your eyes, thinking about why you couldn't do anything right when it came to Sophia.   

"Go over there." Maya said, pointing with her drink towards the stairs.

"I can't, she'll tear me apart." You said, crestfallen. 

"Or you can finally have a conversation as adults and sort out whatever high school craziness you have to sort out."  

Taking Maya's words as an encouraging, you walked determinedly upstairs. When you came face to face with the bathroom door, leaning your body completely against it, you let out a deep sigh, before finally knocking.  

"It's Yn..."  

"Go away, Yn."  

One more sigh. Maybe those shots were a bad idea, now your head hurt.   

"I'm sorry. Not just for the drink, for everything. I was really stupid, I just thought it was the best way to get your attention, but then you started hating me, and I can't shut my mouth." You keep talking as you slide through the door, sitting in the middle of the hallway.   

"It was all a bad idea, I shouldn't have stolen the letter from you, I shouldn't even have sent it..."   

As soon as you closed your mouth, the bathroom door opened. You fell on your back with a dull thud and groaned as your head hit the ground with some force. As you sat down again, you were sure that those shots were a bad idea.   

"Were you the one who sent the letter?" Sophia asked, genuinely interested in what you had just said.   

"It's... I..."   

"Yn, was that letter yours?" Sophia approached, lowering herself to your height and looking at you with a look you had never seen on her face.   

"Yes." You confessed, another sigh coming from your lips, followed by a sob, which left you half embarrassed. "I heard you talking about another guy that day, you know, when I was walking into class." You confessed, another sob coming out of your lips, making you lower your head so that Sophia wouldn't see how embarrassed you were. 

"Wait, man? I wasn't talking about any guy..."   

"Yeah, you were talking about how sure you were that he didn't like you, and then Abby made sure he did. I was just scared of ruining something you really wanted."  

Analyzing your words, Sophia couldn't believe it. You liked her too, you were both hiding your real intentions for fear of something silly getting in the way. Finally remembering the conversation she had with Abby that day, Sophia started laughing, it was a little funny and sad to think that the two of you could have been together all this time. 

"I was talking about Abby's boyfriend, you stupid." Sophia said, pushing your chest, making you look at her with a confused expression.  

"So you didn't like any guys?" You asked, making Sophia deny it with her head.  

"No. In fact, I really wish you had sent me a letter that day, if you had arrived a little earlier to eavesdrop on my conversation, you would have listened." Sophia said, sitting next to you and touching her shoulder with yours.   

"You know, I never wanted to go into the theater to steal your role in the cast." You said, another letting a sob escape. "I wanted to be your date."   

Smiling, Sophia looked at you, the Filipina's gaze going down your chest, until it landed on your hands, which were on your lap. With a slight smile on her face, Sophia took your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers, making you look into her eyes for the first time.   

"Do you still want to be?" 

Hey guys, sorry for the delay with the requests, I'm trying hard. But lately I've also been very busy taking care of my farm and my WIFE Haley, we have a son now, her name is Ani (like anora)

Anyway, now seriously, I'm trying to make the requests, but I'm trying to enjoy my vacation, in a little while my college classes start and then it will get more complicated.

I also created another profile to write about women outside of kpop, the name of the profile is Sipderb00bs (in honor of the anon who always read my name wrong), I will be receiving requests there too, in case you want to take a look.

Stay safe and drink water

xoxo, spider.

[championari]

So I’m constantly thinking about Charles and how he could eventually meet Edwin with his feelings.

Here’s something I realized: Charles, despite constantly talking about things he miss, things he wants, he actually has a complicated relationship with desire as a concept.

How I would put it is by taking Supernatural as an example. There’s an episode in Season 5 where the boys meet Famine, a horseman of the apocalypse. However, Dean is not at all affected by him. It’s because due to being the older brother, and a Hunter, Dean was never allowed to consider acting on or even having desire for anything.

You can see where I’m going with this. Charles, like Dean, doesn’t actually believe he should want anything, due to “not being good enough”.

This is something actually touched on subtly in the show through the acting. When Niko says, “I know what it’s like to want something you can’t have.” Edwin directly looks at The Cat King’s bracelet, while Charles stares off into space. When Tragic Mick describes Angie’s light as enforcing a sense of yearning, Edwin looks at Charles, while again, Charles looks off blankly (can’t access screenshots right now). Edwin knows what he wants but is scared of it, while Charles doesn’t know what he wants because he can’t allow himself to consider it. This gives an entirely new meaning to Charles’ hatred of the Cat King. A supernatural entity who describes his kingdom as being about “want and pleasure”. Thomas is the encapsulation of everything Charles was never allowed to have. Charles chases after things that he knows he can’t have, romancing a living girl despite knowing she will eventually leave. Charles can’t consider returning Edwin’s feelings because that would mean he’s been running away from what’s been in front of him the whole time. That what he wanted was always there, at his lowest point, when he thought he deserved it least.

Returning Edwin’s feelings means he was already enough. And Charles can’t imagine that yet.

While I would obviously adore an interaction between Charles and Desire of The Endless, ultimately I don’t think it would do anything. Like Dean, Charles might be completely unaffected by them because he’s spent most of his existence building walls around his desires. Edwin was completely blindsided by Thomas because he never even considered having to think about Desire due to having no attraction to women and that being the dominant narrative of his time. Charles pursues Crystal because he still wants to feel like he has a chance at “normal life” (which as I said is self-punishment by throwing himself at something he knows he can’t have). To accept that he’s in love with Edwin would mean no longer pursuing a living person. Edwin would be it for him, which he kind of already gets but it hasn’t fully sunk in yet. Just like his death

There's also this exchange that drives me nuts:

"You gave up tranquil eternity…for your friend?" "Does that sound like someone who belongs in Hell?"

THIS. MAKES. ME. INSANE. Because Charles, like he always does when confronted with his own wants, completely avoids it. He doesn't respond to The Night Nurse's obvious confusion as to why he ran from Death, and instead turns the conversation back to Edwin. He makes it all about what Edwin deserves, not what Charles saw in Edwin that led him to make that choice. You could say this is practical as time is of the essence, but I think that's the point. Charles throws away the chance to explain his viewpoint on their first meeting, the consequences of his choice to run from Death with a boy he just met and knew for a few hours, and instead remains single-minded on Edwin's safety. Like when Edwin reasonably questioned, "Why are you getting angry?" when he began freaking out over Thomas getting close to Edwin, he says nothing.

There's just so much happening in that head that I can't stop thinking about.

[araybiaaa]

❝ switching bodies for you, d. starkey. ❞

ooo. 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈… drew starkey & original black!female character

ooo. 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔… roleplay, praising, oral, penetrative sex, edging, squirting, unprotected sex, rough sex. anal, “good girl” praises.

ooo. 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔… she wants to try something different and her boyfriend is more than eager to comply.

ooo. 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔… had this idea and i wanted to see how it would come out. and i think i like it although i envisioned it completely different in my head but whatever lol. 😬 dk if this idea has been used before but wanted to try something a bit different!

she knows that it was a rather peculiar ask; part of her expected him to say no or for his response to be more taken aback by the absurdity of it all but she was pleasantly surprised when he nodded his head in agreement and replied with a concurring, “okay.”

they were at home laid on top of the mattress; drew was sprawled halfway on top of her — his body nudged between her legs with his cock protruding against the fabric of his jeans, swelling in its girth, messily staining his briefs with precum that leaked from his flushed head. their pelvises chafed and teased against each other’s in a slow and torturous grind. despite the barrier, she could feel the evidence of his arousal brushing against her cunt every time she moved her hips in accordance with his.

“wait.” she murmured, licking her swollen lips as she retracted from the kiss to look at him.

he looked debauched with his skin flushed in the prettiest rosy blush, lips slick from the salvia that passed between their mouths and eyes lidded with lust. he furrowed his brow, breathing laboredly through his parted lips. “what is it?”

she chewed hesitantly on her lower lip, suddenly feeling shy and chagrined as the suggestion circled her mind. it was silly and probably strange, but there was something that she’s been wanting to try with drew for a while now. she was reluctant on saying it because she didn’t know how to properly approach or explain it reasonably.

she worried about the possibility of him taking offense to it or that he would think that she wasn’t satisfied with their sex life (which was so far from the truth — she doesn’t think she’s ever been with anyone that can make her cum as much as drew does.) so, she temporarily dismissed the thought all together until her interest about it suddenly piqued again.

“this might sound a little weird…” she begins, looking up at him underneath the length of her lashes. the furrow in his brow deepens but he nods, prompting her to continue. “but i was thinking maybe we could try something a little different tonight.”

“okay. like what?”

“like you fucking me but roleplaying as rafe,” she says, watching as his confusion deepened. “i know it’s weird, but i’ve always kinda fantasized about him and how he would be in bed.” her face flushes in warmth at this confession, she never actually thought she would admit this out loud to anyone.

she loves drew for who he is; but there was also something undeniably sexy about him when he’s portraying rafe. she’s visited the set a few times and observed the subtleties of his transformation — seeing him go from her doting boyfriend to an irascible psychopath. she knows that he was just acting, but seeing him bloodied and bruised and depicting someone so completely antithetical to who he is — had stirred something inside of her.

and she’s suddenly embarrassed again with how silent drew is after she finishes talking and she’s parting her mouth open to tell him to just forget she ever said anything, when he looks at her and nods, “okay.”

she looks at him again, gauging his reaction just to see if there’s any underlying reluctance or apprehension, because the last thing she ever wanted was for him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with just for her sake. but there wasn’t any. he seemed genuinely intrigued by her request and this realization excites her.

he leaned down to brush a kiss against her throat before sliding up to meet her mouth again. “how did you fantasize him being in bed?”

she whimpered softly, feeling her cunt throb in anticipation. “i don’t know… just rougher than you usually get.”

he hums in acknowledgment, nudging his nose against hers as he kisses her deeply, taking her bottom lip within the grip of his teeth. he sucked and nipped diligently on the soft skin until it swelled. he released the bruised flesh, sliding the palm of his hand over her stomach. her breath catches in her throat, goosebumps erect over her skin as his fingers hovered over the waistband of her flimsy shorts.

“drew,” she keens, writhing in desperation for him to touch her.

he shakes his head, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth making at tsk-ing sound in reprimand. “it’s rafe, remember?” he murmurs, his breath tickles her skin as he nipped and sucked dark love bites on her neck.

she exhaled shakily, already so overwhelmed with pleasure that she forgot about the prerequisites that he reinforced. she arches her body further in his touch, nodding her head curtly. “good girl.” he coos, brushing his lips over every inch of skin that his mouth could reach.

his fingers tug her shorts and slick stained underwear off, pulling them over her hips and down her thighs until they’re bunched up around her ankles. she discards them with an absentminded kick, flinging them somewhere onto the floor with a soft thud.

drew retracts from the kiss, a string of saliva falls from their lips as he pulls away. his eyes lower; taking in the sight of her weeping cunt. he groans softly, “fuck you smell so good,” he marvels, the sweet scent of her musk lingers in his nostrils and has his mouth salivating. he slides down her body, lowering and angling himself so that he’s seated directly at her center.

his fingers brush against her skin as he slides a hand over her calf, hefting her leg over his shoulder. he’s rewarded with the sight of her pussy that’s glistening with arousal along her slippery folds. drew parts his lips into a puckered “o” as he buries his face between the sweltering furrow of her thighs. she whimpers, high and loud when the bridge of his nose brushes against her clit — it was the barest of sensations but still enough to have her shivering and moaning in pleasure.

he hovers his lips over her clit; then gently started sucking it until she’s suctioned in his mouth. he sucks and releases the pressure rhythmically, pulling her clit in and out of his mouth in a teasing catch and release. he holds her there, using the tip of his tongue to massage her clit. “rafe!” she shudders, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she feels her toes curling from the pleasure.

he makes his way up her vulva and increases the pressure so that the base of his tongue is nudged slightly under her clit. he continued to move upwards, using his tongue to stimulate the bottom of her clit. then, in one smooth lap, he’s relaxing his tongue and licking her up. tears sting in her pupils and blur her vision, her hips arch off of the bed as she thrusts against his tongue and pushes his head in further so he’s nearly suffocated in her cunt.

she chokes on a sob, feeling her body tremble at the stimulation. he inserts a finger into the penetration; brushing through her wetness as he teased the sensitive flesh. she bellows a cry, as her body writhes against the mattress. “i’m close!” she forewarns to no avail as she squirts messily in his mouth. drew licks up the remnants of her arousal as he lifts his head from its perch.

his mouth is slick and red; a combination of saliva and her cum messily coat his swollen lips. she’s still lulling from her orgasm as he begins to undress himself. he shrugs out of his shirt and maneuvers out of his jeans and briefs, tossing them aside on the floor until he’s left naked in front of her. “can’t wait to be inside of you again. gonna fuck you so good, baby.”

his cock curls against his thigh; fully rigid and painstakingly throbbing. he hovers over her again, aligning the swelled tip of his cock at the center of her cunt. he barricades through her wetness, grinding against her so that her swollen lips are chafing against his bare cock.

“fuck. you’re so wet for me, baby.” he murmurs, feeling her cunt lapping repeatedly over his cock, leaving a residue of her arousal slicking him every time he withdraws. he rubbed the head against her swollen clitoris, through her labia, against her entrance, then slid her cunt against him from tip to base. she draws out a loud moan, her head falls back against the pillow as the friction coils and pulls in her lower abdomen.

her cunt gapes around his tip — still sensitive and swollen from her first orgasm. he watches in awe, mesmerized by the sight of her pussy lips and how they stretch and lap against him. “rafe, baby, please!” her fingers grip the bedsheets, teeth dig so deep into her lower lip that she could taste blood stinting from the bruise. “i need you now.” she sobs, though her hips still move in accordance to his movements, tracing over the ridges and teasing her entrance.

the lewd sounds of his cock slicked in her wetness has him groaning in pleasure; his thrusts go languid as he feels his own orgasm licking up his spine. “that feel good?” he firms a grip on his cock and nudges his tip against her swollen clitoris; feeling her clench wantonly around him. she nods vigorously. her body’s shaking, tears fall freely from her eyes as he holds her there — lingering and brushing against her clit until the pressure becomes too much and she has to push him away to catch her breath.

a bit of his own precum mixed in with hers, causing the fluids to spill out of her cunt and down her thighs, forming a wet puddle beneath her.

his cock twitches at the sight of her like this; debauched with her face moist with perspiration and tears, pussy engorged and leaking with both of their fluids, hair messily pooled around the pillows like a halo. she already looked so fucked when he hasn’t even been inside of her yet. drew leaned forward to kiss her, feeling the wisps of her breath tickle his skin. “okay?” he raises a brow, looking down at her.

she’s squirted before, but the pressure of these the last two were far more intense than any of the previous times. she nods, licking her lips as she feels her cunt throb; an undeniable tell that she was ready for more.

“good. turn around for me,” he avers, watching as she complied eagerly and turned around so she was lying prone. drew stands on his knees, settling himself behind her. “ass up, baby. that’s a good girl.” he slides a hand over her cheeks as she inclines her back in a sinuous arch and holds herself up with her palms pressed into the mattress.

he spreads his knees a bit further, making enough room so that he’s settled in between her for a precise intrusion. palming his cock in his hand, he angles himself at her hole and nudged his hips forward as he began to slowly delve in. there’s a delicious pain that spreads through her body at the intrusion. the pain subsides and is immediately replaced by pleasure, inciting drew to continue filling her of his cock inch by inch until he’s brimmed at the hilt.

she chokes on a gasp, feeling the stretch of his cock swelling in its girth inside of her. her body trembles at the sensitivity and she has to pop her ass back to catch the tip of drew’s cock curled just past her perineum.

his eyes lower to where he’s nudged inside of her; the sight of it alone is enough to make him cum. “rafe!” her whimpering plead retracts him from his reverie.

he digs his fingers into the meaty flesh of her hips as he held onto her. he rolled his hips in an upward thrust; brushing his pelvic bone against her ass as he lingered there for a moment. “oh!” she shivers, feeling her body trembling from his breach. he withdraws until he’s halfway slipped out of her, then he’s fucking back into her with a vigorous thrust of his hips that has her body lurching forward at the exertion.

she arches her back further; pressing her face into the mattress as she changes the angle a bit so that she feels every penetration of drew fucking her deep in her bones. her ass ricochets against him with every forward thrust that he gives, she convulses around his cock every time he fills her again, reclaiming him in a tight stretch.

drew grunts and groans, his hands squeeze every inch of skin that’s in his reach as he fucks into her, mewling at the noisiness of their sex. he presses his hand down on her back, anchoring her in place as he implements a slow, languid stroke. “rafe!” she cries, her voice muffled from where it’s pressed against the mattress. she undulates her hips, meeting him thrust-for-thrust.

she bit the comforter as drew pulled out the tip and slid back inside in a smooth thrust. she ground her teeth into the cotton and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt his cock continue to fuck unrelentingly into her.

drew’s hand slid up the back of her neck and grabbed a fistful of her hair, tugging her head back hard as he thrust with more vigor.

“uh-uh. i wanna hear your sounds. i wanna hear you scream for me. wanna hear how good i’m making you feel.”

“drew-” she inadvertently says, feeling him tug her hair at the blunder.

“who?” he didn’t release his grip on her hair or the position he was holding her head in, bent far enough so that her body arched against the bed. “yeah you like when i fuck you like this, don’t you?” she made a strangling noise, almost blacking out with the sudden movement when his dick touches the perfect spot inside her. her eyes rolled back as she tried to form the word, but all that came out was a whimper.

her body lurched forward with the force of drew’s thrusts, and she was completely lost to the pleasure as he fucked her with abandon. the headboard knocks against the wall, the mattress creaks in complaint beneath them. drew could feel her clenching and seizing as she approached her climax, and it had him ready to cum as well with the base of his cock tingling.

“rafe! right there… fuck… i’m gonna cum.” she cries.

“you take my cock like you were made for it. you gonna cum for me, pretty girl? come on. cum on my cock. let me feel it,” that was all it took for her to jump off the cliff of release with a loud cry, eyes rolling back into her head and jaw going slack as her whole body shuddered. “that’s it. you’re doing so good, baby.”

all it took was a few more thrusts before drew came with a guttural groan, thrusting into her tight hole. he ground against her, fingers digging into her hair and pulling tight as he stuffed her full of his cum.

she could feel drew’s cum filling her up and trickling down the insides of her thighs. she moaned in satisfaction, clenching around drew’s cock sporadically, milking him for everything he had. her breathing was harsh and labored as she tried to catch her breath from getting fucked into the mattress. her whole body was sensitive, and every tiny movement of drew moving above her made her whimper.

he leaned down and kissed her shoulder softly, nosing over her cheeks and neck. he pulled out slowly, trying to not hurt tiana, who whined as his cock slid against her sensitive walls. she collapsed onto the bed with a soft groan, her body sinking into the mattress.

her limbs felt lax, every muscle in her body was deliciously spent. she rolls over, looking at drew who looked equally as disheveled — skin flushed, eyes lidded, chest heaving. she smiled sheepishly, chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.

“you okay? i wasn’t too rough was i, baby?” he asked, falling beside her as he felt his own body go wilt from the exertion.

she shakes her head reassuringly, “i won’t be able to walk for a few days, but i’m okay.”

he smirks, leaning over to peck a kiss against her shoulder. “good. so did rafe live up to your sexual fantasy?”

“mhm. he exceeded my expectations.” she says, biting on her lip as she scooted closer towards him. she maneuvers her body so that she’s seated astride of his lap, comfortable in her perch. “but now i’m ready for drew to fuck me again.” she whispers softly, reaching between their bodies and grabbing ahold of his cock that twitches at her insatiable libido.

[rosinkreutz]

You should tell me more about Asuka. Literally anything. I’m kind of obsessing over him right now and I need to know EVERYTHING. sorry. I’m going crazy right now and I love Asuka so much

Anything Anything? Asuka and Asuka-Related Fun Facts: 1. RK's color palette (02) matches with Raven, except with the places and overall prominence of black and white being opposite between them. They even both have a coin in one eye. Asuka in his right, Raven in his left. This means that between the two they make up one dead man and one alive man. 2. In Vastedge, the Tome of Origin had blood red pages. They absolutely should have kept this it was sick as hell. 3. Also in Vastedge, the folds in the front of his robes resemble stacked pages of a closed book. There's a concept art of him opening himself up, confirming that he has been fused with the Tome for a long time.

4. I-no's recurring black wings (i.e, in her super) alongside Raven might be a reference to the two information-collecting ravens of Odin, Huggin (~mind) and Muninn (~will). Odin is often depicted with one eye and is associated with a number of concepts, notably including death, knowledge, wisdom, frenzy, and sorcery. 5. The only time he implies any actual aggression toward someone (as in, wanting to hurt them just to hurt them and not because he feels has to) is against Anji, implied by the following battle intro in Strive: Anji: "No agreement necessary, right?" Asuka: "No, but you'll wish we had one." 6. While he certainly does care about the opinions of those he likes, like Sol, he's especially sensitive to the opinion of Jack'O. See the round win line "Please don't be mad at me!" and the battle intro: Jack'O: "Trick or... Oh, hey Asuka!" Asuka: "Are my tricks or treats not good enough for you? That's... kind of sad."

7. Related to the previous point, Asuka also describes his separation with Raven as "kind of sad". The implication is that when something is kind of sad, this actually means he is suffering a million internal deaths. 8. I have heard that buckwheat noodles (re: Asuka's hobby of making them via rube-goldberg machine) are a stereotypical old-man food in Japan. 9. In Accent Core, he instructs Anji to tell I-no that there are no second chances. In the same game, he also tells Slayer the he can never change. However, after Raven tells Asuka that Anji is not someone who can be trusted, Asuka replies: "Watch what you say, Raven. To survive... people always improve. Humanity keeps on living, even if it goes against God... The fact that you are standing here is only further proof of their tenacity". This implies that he considers himself to be something closer to I-no than Anji or Raven. That is to say, not human. Considering his actions and, more literally, the fact that he is literally fused with the source code of the Universe, this is an understandable position. 10. Going off of his model and concept art for Strive, it seems that he is mostly legs. He has a similar leg:torso ratio as Jack'O. 11. There's something wrong with him. Also, his English VA in Overture would go on to voice Bedman in Xrd.

Some Pictures:

[hollyhomburg]

@mocha000

oooooh I will have to track it down and find the yoongi video for you!! I will see if I can track it down later- one of the like small things about writing chapter so far apart is that i loose alot of my inspiration videos/picutres :( I love videos of bts doing normal things theres something so like- domestic about it? Idk I just love the little things. 

Okay, but if i’m not careful i’ll just talk about girl dicks and nothing else like /seriously/ if you haven’t- see? see what i’m talking about! you cannot get me started on this!! honestly i struggled with the description of yoongi haveing a knot. like how would you describe it? i don’t have a dick so- it’s kinda hard for me to put myself in their shoes. The pussy stuff is alot easier for me to like- make up tbh. 

You know I did not realize just how subby I made Yoongi when I wrote this but tbh I’m not complaining, I think it’s verry within the bounds of his charecter to want to depend on the others during these moments when things are changes in the pack structure. 

tbh i love that hobi is like- kinda a bit of a creep in this, like just a little- he might really really like watching the m/c and yoongi fuck with knots invovled we might see…the return of his facination next chapter! but thats the last smutt chapter for a little while! promsie. 

Honestly how non-verbal they both get in this is also like- fucking me up, I love that they feel like they’re in their own little world but are also like- being taken care of by the pack, the subby fantasy. 

Okay but there should have been more I love you’s in this :( that’s my one self critisizm for it. there needs to be more lovey dovey bullshit! especially her calling him perfect for her later in the chapter like! yes! thats your mate honey! sometimes i wanna take real yoongi by the ears and also tell him that he’s perfect. 

lowkey love yoongi being so so so enamoured with her being milky though <3 i love it. esepcially with tae and yoongi <3 i’m so soft for them <3 especially with the kind of shifting dymaic of yoongi being both dom and sub depending on whose doing the fucking. the dirty talk in this chapter was like so so so hard. i’m glad that you liked it and apreciated it but- some parts of it took alot of edits. 

i love that the ‘if i lick it it’s mine’ stuff didn’t seem too campy, i wanted to remind everyone with this chapter that you know- they are all kinda kids, in their midtwenties-early 30’s like- theyre still gonna be goofy sometimes, they won’t always be perfect people or say things that arent like gen z or milienialisms. 

I love that both Namjoon and Yoongi are kinda both like “yeah fuck Dr.Pearl,” and the medical advice when it comes to the m/c like- they are very very confident that they can handle it themselves. and it’s so dumb of them! but also so cute!

Honestly Namjoon deserves all the kudos for his self restraint, here he is in the nest, his omega’s acting cute and slutty and he’s just a good alpha and watches 🥰 need me an alpha like namjoon. 

the chaos and familiarity shown in this chapter is actually probably my favorite part, someone mentioned it in the teaser but yes- it does feel very real when they’re all like talking over each other and communicating togeather to cuddle like- ugh, i think one of the biggest fantasies that i have as someone who enjoys bts content is just the friendship and simple intimacy that they have. i want this story to be like- a place where you can imagine you’re in the middle of that too. 

tbh i think spanking jk was the only way that the pack could keep him seated and paying attention while the m/c was riding yoongi otherwise he would have gotten up close and personal. in my mind- jk in heat doesn’t have like- a very good idea of body boundaries? like he’s a big puppy who doesn’t realize often “hey they’re having a private moment maybe i shouldn’t go over and cuddle them” like that’s his pack of course he would be allowed to get in the middle of it? 

as for what yoongi must have said to the m/c when they lean close and have their private moment- i think it could be anything, could be a little bit of praise or maybe just them telling each other they love each other. we are also on the outside looking in at them too- so thats why i wanted to leave it up to interpretation like- whatever you most want to read him say to her is what he says. 

listen i love love love jungkook in omegaspace, i love omegaspace in general actually, there is somethign so cute and silly with it <3 i love the added edge of veulnerability it makes in the story, esecpially during sexually intimate scenes. 

yeah listen i know i was only letting hoseok have one mouthful but! but! i was running out of pretty ways to describe it :( maybe in the next chapter- because the only smutty bit in that is a yoongi x hobi scene that is 😵‍💫 a bit of a doosie. 

OKAY ON THE LACTATION BIT- i have done a bit of reasearch on this topic 👀 for reasons, and apparently it can only take a few days of constant nipple stimulation to make your body start to lactate just a little like- the quickest ive seen on forums is solid sucking for 9 hours straight which seems! a bit excessive! but i think with a bit of supliments you could very very easily make it happen. 

thank you for your comment once again <3 i’m glad that none of this slightly more extreme smutt than usual seems to have been too much <3 i always worry but i shouldn’t because you always leave such nice comments!

until next time! 

Before I Leave You (Pt. 80)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: “Come on hyung, fuck her like you mean it.”

Tags: Groupsex, Mating cycles/in heat, fivesome, exhibitionism, voyeurism, slight Jungkook x m/c focus, praise kink, Knotfucking, dumbification, mind-break, Namjoon calls Yoongi a bitch once in like a sexy way, omegaspace sex, lactation kink, false pregnancy, some good ol' tiddy sucking, omega x omega content, scissoring, pussy spanking, excessive squirting, size kink, breif mention of monstercock dildos, overstimulation kink, forced orgasam (but not in a cnc way), knot milking, mommy kink, daddy kink, trans characters, discussion of girl knot/cock, girl on top, feral sex, biting, humor, this is soft and horny and funny and sweet.

W/c: 12.7k

A/n: Ahhhh i'm sorry it took so long for me to write this chapter- the good thing is the next one won't be that far off! Until then if you like this story and want to read a different version of the beginning that has like 5+ additional chapters of how yoongi and the m/c got together you can read it here.

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

As you can expect, there is some clamoring around Yoongi.

Everyone reaches to feel, to touch, to check. Your hand is among the others tangling with Tae's fingers then Hobi's. Every touch is exploratory, curious, and coming to terms. Shocked and happy, weirded out and displeased. There are so many emotions that everyone's scents are all over the place. Surprised, excited, and scared.

Jungkook starts to tip his head, eyes open, leaning into Namjoon's space and falling, like he can't figure out which alpha to please with the scent of a new knot in the air. Jin lets out a shocked noise, not entirely upset but still.

“Wow is he bigger than Minnie and Hobi?” “I don’t know, but you should definitely measure.” “It feels so much less firm than a normal knot,” “Like squish mellow” “And he’s got that vein! I can see it pulse!” "Wow what the fuck, it’s so pink."

"Am I dreaming it's like my dream for everyone to have a knot."

"Even the pup?"

"Especially the pup. Have you seen Tae's dick? Girl knots are like- so ugh."

Until it gets too much, until Yoongi’s hips splay, and his head tips back, breath ragged. “Guys I’m-”

"Alright." Namjoon snaps, loudly. "Everyone back off. Give him some room."

You do not back up, you curl up around your mate's body protectively, still barely conscious of the fact that you're dripping into the nest below you. But you don't really think that Namjoon was talking about you and he doesn't make you move once you snatch your hand back. Resting it loosely on Yoongi's hip, clutching at his shirt like you think someone is going to take him away.

Namjoon eyes your hand and then your face. You tip your chin down demurely like there can't possibly be any way you'd missbehave. Namjoon huffs, shaking his head before he ducks down.

The pack alpha examines Yoongi’s knot under an appraising eye. His big hands turning it this way and that, Yoongi’s eyes roll back no one gives him shit for rocking up into Namjoon’s touch, needy.

Does knotting always feel this way? There’s pressure in his lower stomach, a tightening that makes no sense. That sort of feels like his self-control is spiraling away or dangling on the edge of a very precarious edge. Like all of him is about to break or perhaps be made whole.

Yoongi doesn't like thinking of sex as something necessary for love. But knotting certainly feels like a cross between the two.

No wonder why alphas are such knotheads. If fucking always felt like this, like the sex equivalent of a full body hug that lasts for hours, instead of a singular moment of euphoria and closeness. Yoongi would never want to fuck any other way. No wonder why they're so possessive too.

This feeling- Yoongi’s not addicted, not yet.  

You hook your chin over his shoulder to watch, sniffling. And Yoongi is a little too aware of you. The way your body lies against his arm, the dewy brush of his wrist on your stomach as you set your body against his. He must be going insane; he must have bit you again and given you a fresh mating mark. Because it feels like he can feel the mating mark wrapping around his cock.

You're a little more lucid because the pack’s sour scents cut through the breeding haze.

“Is Yoongi like- presenting?” Your voice sounds so small, so fragile. Yoongi bares his teeth at it. He tips his head into yours, nosing at the side of your face. Trying to reassure you. Trying not to bite. Hissing when Namjoon once again pulls at the skin of his knot.

“I don’t think so,” Namjoon says carefully, slowly. Reaching for Jin's glasses on the edge of the nest (because they're roughly the same prescription) so that he can take a look at the underside of Yoongi’s cock and the scent glands just below it.

They’re not puffy and not swollen like an alpha's. Alpha's knot to scent mark, not just breed. It's surprisingly a relief knowing that not all of Yoongi's biology has changed.

"He’s like still a beta? Right?”

“As far as I can tell yes.” Namjoon hesitates, poking at Yoongi’s knot harder. Eyes flicking up to measure his response. Yoongi does not snap at him, doesn’t do anything but lean against the column of Namjoon’s arm like he’s having a hard time holding his body up. When Namjoon puts his hand on the base of Yoongi’s throat, he doesn’t do anything but close his eyes.

"No- if you were an alpha you'd be biting my head off right now. You're definitely not presenting" Namjoon decides, begging that it's true. His own instincts are just a hum beneath his skin.

Namjoon might be a man of science, but he does trust his instincts more than he’d ever willingly admit. Namjoon's inner alpha is not chomping at the bit for a show of dominance and is not threatened by the sudden muskiness of another foreign knot. A shock in itself. Any scent of an unfamiliar knot combined with the smell of their omega in heat would make any of the alphas, even hoseok the tamest one, go feral. Packs work that way.

Beyond an extra layer of horniness, Yoongi’s thick chocolate scent has not changed. Not even a little bit once Namjoon sniffs and rolls the taste of it around on his tongue.

Namjoon presses the side of his face to Yoongi’s neck and closes his eyes. You can feel Yoongi’s heart flutter with how you’re holding onto his arm. After a moment namjoon pulls away. “You’ll be fine.”

You sag, a bit in relief. Yoongi? An alpha? If Namjoon says he’s not you believe him. Your brain is too hazy to think straight. But you decide you’re glad he’s not. Yoongi’s perfect- you’d hate it if something changed without his say-so. You babble, say it. And your mate covers his face.

“If I had to bet, I’d say it’s the mating mark. I’d like to take tests but-” Jin’s head jerks up, scent souring. Sensing a trip to the hospital before it’s even been said. Jungkook’s eyes on Yoongi don’t blink, grinning down at that knot with his hair in his face, already excited and dopey. As if talking about the hospital is enough to summon another seizure.

“After maybe. If it’s still a problem.” Namjoon caveats, pausing to rub down Yoongi’s arm, soothing him. Yoongi is still trembling. Still shaking so hard that he can't really move with any coordination.

“Has anything like this ever happened before?” Seokjin asks, carefully. Pillow over his bare lap. Namjoon has the good sense to at least put on some shorts. Jimin looks at Tae quickly and Tae does not return his gaze. Some secret soulmate conversation going on between them that you can’t read.

When you look up at Hobi- he’s watching your face. He doesn’t look away but after a moment he shrugs as if to say ‘Our beta has a knot- so what?’

“I’ve never heard of a beta popping a knot. I’m not sure. I think this might just be us.”

You groan, hiding your face under Yoongi’s chin. His breath heaves, and he turns back to you, nuzzling back.

“Is it my slick? Or the mating mark? Did I do this to him?” your eyes are wet, tears already threatening. You are already generally sensitive, and even more so in heat. Yoongi eases away your worries with a quick kiss to the side of your face. Cutting off your guilt before it has a chance to build.

“None of that now. If I had to change for anyone I’m glad it’s you.”

The pack is quiet around you, all in varying states of nudity. Quiet at the truth of what he says, how suddenly deep this has gotten. But he's right, you'd change for any of them. You wouldn't mind either. Yoongi rubs your cheek and you pull yourself half into his lap for a cuddle. Needy, too worn down to let it go. Yoongi’s hands go around your waist keeping you close. You melt into his arms, still sniffling.

"Your dick was perfect before though-"

"Sweetheart " he groans. You pull back from him, glancing down at his lap.

"What? I'm just saying-"

“Don’t look at it!”

Hoseok chokes back a laugh and tries to keep it in, but before you can help it everyone's laughing and covering their faces with their hands to keep from smiling. 

“You didn’t cum at all. Did you?" Namjoon asks, eyes dark. Yoongi starts to lift the hem of the shirt you wear, showing.

“No, I didn’t.” Yoongi can feel a bit of skin at the base of his cock, still loose, still half popped. If you weren’t more preoccupied with holding your mate and controlling your weepyness. You’d be more curious about the knot pressed between your legs.

Maybe this is just resource-guarding. Classic omega in heat, of course, the most valuable resource is your mate. 

“You know” Namjoon hesitates, looking from Yoongi to Jin. “Popping a knot without ejaculating sperm is kind of medically dangerous-”

“Namjoon-” Jin scolds.

“Sorry- without Cuming is actually kind of dangerous. Especially because it’s like, not typical for you to have a knot.” Namjoon licks his lips, "We should probably make sure that it's like- working."

You don’t know if it’s hornyness or just Namjoon being concerned for Yoongi’s health (probably a little bit of both) but you perk up. Blinking at the pack alpha who looks a little strained. A little like he’s trying not to look too much.

Across the nest, Jungkook shuffles forward, blatantly eyeing Yoongi’s knot like he’s just found his new favorite toy. But no sooner is he putting his hand on the beta’s tight before Jin is pulling him back the collar. "No no no pup, that's not yours yet."

He lets out a little bereft whimper but you hardly notice. Eyes bright and directed up at Namjoon. Like it honestly hadn’t occurred to you that now that your mate has a knot that means he can use it. Yoongi can knot you now. Pack Alpha is so smart! You don't know how it didn't occur to you yet but-

Oh, you really want that. You really want Yoongi to knot you.

The self-consciousness Yoongi felt earlier is entirely forgotten. You’re a little dumb in heat. A little floaty. Yoongi doesn’t mind. This is why you have packmates, to make these complicated decisions for you.

Yoongi’s hands are still firm around your waist. If Yoongi does have a knot now, for the time being, then you should get first dibs.

You whine, he was perfect without it really but you really really really like knots, your squishy omega brain is convinced that you need it. That it’s yours and your packmates are suddenly keeping it from you. You bare your teeth. No bite, all bark. You'd actually growl at them if Yoongi’s hands didn't clamp down around your waist. Hard. Harder than he usually touches you. It jogs you out of your reverie.

Marks. Kis fingers hold you hard enough that you could have bruises. Good. You want marks on you and on him. Your mating mark isn't enough. Not now, not with Yoongi having a knot.

“Should I, should you-” The pack settles in, ringing both you and Yoongi, as you stare each other down, both of your scents spiking wildly as you take each other in. Seeing each other in a new light.  

Yoongi laughs, deep and rough. And you get shivers down your spine. Your voice is high-pitched and squeaky from the strain. "Don't tease me."

He nudges the underside of your jaw with his nose. "Come on, it's sorta easy" his teeth brush your mating mark and you gasp, the threat of a bite but not a bite at all. "and you like it."

The pack looms closer so close they can reach out and touch, can reach out and feel. "Should we watch? I think we should watch" “Yes. Definitely yes.” “Yes, I think we should, yes please.” "they're so pretty when they fuck."

But Jungkook huffs, a little bratty, a little bit upset that there's a knot he's not allowed to ride. "Can't I get one lick?"

"No Koo" Jungkook jerks against his hold.

"If I lick it, is it mine? While she rides it does it count if I lick it?” Jungkook gets dragged over Jin’s lap for that one, completely happy with it as the other omega lands several swats over his behind. Giggling as he goes.

The slapping sounds are distant. Jungkook's skin glows from the force of the hits but his cheeks are round from his smile sweet. A Spanking? You'd like one of those. Maybe you can provoke it from one of your packmates sometime later. You might need a settling after this.

Your brain is a mess of wants and instincts. But a spanking can wait. Yoongi's knot presses just under your pussy and you grind onto it experimentally. Tingles of pleasure filling your whole body. Good. It's so good. You snarl.

“No. No Jk- pup”

You are not paying attention as Jungkook tries to claw his way over to you; laughing, making a game of it. You and Yoongi are not speaking but you are communicating. Every grit of his teeth says mine, and every twitch of his hands on your hips says keep going. You look down at your mate and lick your teeth, polishing your canines as you eye him. The line of his throat. The pinkness of his nose. His chest- everything.

As Yoongi huffs, half fond. Cheeks slowly warm the more your eyes roam, the more you look and hunger. 

It’s not that you’ve never been a sexual creature and it’s not that Yoongi has never seen you want him. But too often have you been like Noodle. Too frequently has he been the steward of your lust, carefully encouraging it and letting you be fickle and safe. Every time you've had sex you've been timid. he’s always letting you know through every breath that you’re not too much and that you can have it in any way that you want.

But now- now you’re eyeing Yoongi like you want to eat him.

Your brain is too syrupy and slow to do more than grind against his knot (like I said, all bark, no bite) your pussy dribbles onto it. The glide of your slick hole so much against such sensitive skin, pressed between your body and his. An omega possessed. An omega on a mission. 

He’s been on the business end of many knots but this- this is different. Your eyes are open hardly blinking, Jungkook’s hands trail up Yoongi’s thigh to his hip.

"You're hiding it-" he whines, bratty. But gets snapped back into the alpha's waiting jaws. More spanks. until someone, Jimin maybe is tugging at Jungkook's cock between his legs while he gets plugged up by Namjoon's knot. Namjoon's the only one out of all of them that can truly distract Jungkook. Can possibly stop him from trying to covet Yoongi.

Yoongi's knot doesn’t belong to him. As his mate you have rights.

You push him back to lie in the nest and Yoongi lets you. It’s instinct to straddle him, to get him under you where he can’t move. Even though you don’t usually fuck like this with you on top. You don’t know why this in-heat version of yourself seems preoccupied with riding or not riding, maybe it’s a control thing or vulnerability.

Your body is unused to the heat, unsure of quite what the edge of want and don’t want to meet. Unsure if you want all the control or the complete lack of it. You are weak to your instincts. Weak, even though you know if you just lied back Yoongi would take care of you.

Your instincts give you neither choice nor reason nor want for anything, anything but this. Hoseok's hands slide up Yoongi's knees, touch your lower back, everything. Everyone everywhere touching both of you. Egging you on with their bare teeth and wildly sweet scents.

The head of Yoongi's cock slides up and through your slick, catching on your hole for a moment before it pops away,

You don’t know who guides Yoongi’s knot to your fluttering hole, only that it’s there. It’s easy to sink back, eyes furrowed as you concentrate on the feeling of getting Yoongi’s knot inside of you, cheeks warm at the eyes of the pack on you.

Beside you Tae paws at Jimin’s knot he makes a nose in his throat, but Tae’s all smiles. “Minnie likes it.” She croons in a singsong tone. Hooking an arm around his waist and sliding her hands under the elastic hem of his boxers to toy with him.

There is breath on the back of your shoulder, condensation turning your skin dewy. A hungry alpha ready to swallow you whole. Looming. You don’t look to see who it is, who's looking over your shoulder watching Yoongi’s face as you ride him.

You have a sinking suspicion it might be Hobi.

You fall into a slow rhythm appreciating the way that it feels, nudging at your entrance. Filling you routine. You’re getting better at this setting the pace on your own. Moving at a steady rhythm. A rhythm that makes you sigh and squeak. Your body feels so far away. The ache in your knees, the soreness in your hole, and the tiredness in you are all impermanent compared to the pleasure.

You focus on the feeling of your hands on his chest and the pleasure that comes with fucking yourself down on his knot. It’s a good knot. Not too big, not too small, just right. Everything about Yoongi is just right for you. You mewl as you speed up your pace. Instincts burning for more more more.

Sweat bleeds down your back and Yoongi’s jaw rolls, unblinking below you. Someone wipes away a bit of drool on your jaw and you can’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed. Tipping your head back.

“Does it feel good pup, the way his knot feels in your little hole?"

"Not so little anymore," Tae snickers, "she's practically bouncing on it."

Yoongi’s knuckles are white with how hard he holds your hips, doing his best not to guide your rhythm or disrupt it. Someone's hand is in your hair, tugging and tangling with it, pulling you up and down.

Namjoon leans down to whisper in Yoongi’s ear. “Good huh? Pussy fucking you up hyung? Gonna be a little bitch and make a mess in our pup? Gonna put your little knot where you want and breed her?” 

Yoongi lets out an achy moan. And hope that you didn’t hear that. Or feel how it makes him twitch and pulse. Knot seconds from popping. Already mostly popped from before. He’s not going to last. Yoongi knows it will be quick.

"Bet you can feel how I fucked her open for you huh?"

Yoongi does not pause to push Namjoon’s face away as the alpha bites his shoulder- his ear- his everywhere. Namjoon's not nearly as unaffected as he pretends to be but Yoongi is too focused on you.

Yoongi has always been the perfect fit, not quite as long as Hobi or as thick as Jimin or the type of knot that makes you feel it for days after like Tae and Namjoon. It’s a good thing you’re a size queen because now you can fuck yourself down on Yoongi’s knot, regardless of the size it threatens to swell too.

Yoongi’s knot is about as thick around as Namjoon’s cock is normally so you still struggle to go all the way down, but stretching yourself around the wideness is good, feels nice. Sates the fire inside of you. His knot presses all nice and hot snug against that spot inside of you. You babble it, saying how good good good your mate is, how you can feel his cock stretching you out and breeding you. Almost mindless from pleasure.

Almost but not yet.

Yoongi slides his palm from your stomach up to your sternum, under the black shirt you wear, stroking over your skin lazily before his fingers tangle in the material, pulling it. using it to guiding and goad you into fuck him faster. Saying nothing. Eyes on you. Dark and heavy-lidded.

To shut you up (not because he wants you to shut up but because he wants to hold off from cumming for as long as he can). Yoongi gets his feet under him and drives his hips up. Fucking up into you. Faster and faster until you can tell you're almost taking all of it. All of it. As much as you can.

“That’s it, there you go baby. Fuck her like an alpha. She wants to take it, you just have to help make her.”

“Come on hyung, fuck her like you mean it.”

Beside you, Tae's hand works underneath the waistband of Jimin's boxers, a thumb hooked there lazily. Stilling for a second. Her knuckles wrapped around his knot probably. Hobi is tucked along Jin's side, hips stuttering working. Watching you and Yoongi. Namjoon grins, showing his teeth.  

You have almost all of his knot in you now, everything but the widest bit, just a little more, just a little and you’ll have it. You bounce up and down on it experimentally. You grin, very very convinced that you don’t have to wait for Yoongi’s knot to go down to continue.

Your mate's hands circle your wrists, holding them hard, pulling you down hard every time you pick yourself up, trying to keep you stationary. But Yoongi’s needs are very very far away in his mind.

It’s almost better this way, looking down at him, working your body down his knot. Testing the give and breathing through it the way that Namjoon has taught you to breathe through taking his knot. The pack all around, watching you and encouraging you. They're so close, it sort of feels like they're all fucking you this way.

Tae’s fingers dimple in your thighs and Jk rests his head along Yoongi’s tummy so he can watch his knot sink inside of you as a treat when he takes his spanking like a good pup. A strong hand in his hair to keep him from moving forward a few inches to lick. Pout on his face. When your pace stutters, body overtired from heat, Hobi's hand goes under your thigh to help pick you up, taking the weight of your body for you.

You finally get Yoongi’s knot inside of you, but it doesn’t stop there, you put your hands on his chest and pick yourself off of it again. It tugs but slips past the rim of muscle after a second, slick sliding down the big swollen curve of it. It takes some finesse, but your body gives way and his knot is once again hovering just on the precipice.

Then you sit yourself back down.

Jimin’s breathless curse against your throat feels almost guttural. You hardly hear it too focused on fucking Yoongi’s knot like a cock.

 “Fuck, omega's knot fucking is-” 

“It’s hot,” Jin says, leaning down to brush Yoongi’s sweaty bangs from his forehead. “How does it feel honey? Feeling your mate around your knot? All good? All nice and snug?”

“She’s-” Yoongi pants through it breath ragged, close to cumming, knot pulsating. “Warm” his voice is strained and he scrambles to reach for you. Yoongi’s lap, his whole stomach really, is covered in your slick. The slide is almost too slippery. If you weren’t concentrating so hard on keeping rhythm you’d tell him you love him.

“Overwhelming, feels like- feels like- fuck-”

But you know he already knows, can feel it in the way he touches you. The way he looks at you. Everything.

You squirt, wet noisy, little dribbles of cum flicking up across his chest, clamping down around his knot so hard that Yoongi has no choice. Your pace stutters and you sigh. You hardly notice the pleasure rocking through you, hardly notice as you start to tremble. Little ‘hng’ noises pushed from your throat with every sweet jut of Yoongi’s hips. Still fucking his knot all the way in and all the way out.

Yoongi fucks the same way he talks, sweet but firm. He cums that way too. Warm and slow. You feel every syllable and every drop.

But Yoongi has no words for the ecstasy of knotting you. Groaning deep, more guttural, more animal than you’ve ever heard him sound. Cumming, knot popping fully. Finally. Your legs shake and your head drops as it throbs and swells.

You finally stop riding him but he keeps pulling you down at the same second he sits up quick, until he's sitting with you in his lap. Wrapping his arms around you. Whipping your hair from your face, cupping your cheeks, forehead to forehead.

A bit of your squirt drips down the seam of his hip, the place where his thigh and stomach wrinkle. Staining the nest a darker shade of pink.

But there are hands to settle your giggles, his knot pulsates, and you feel wet and warm inside. You ease up and he holds you for a moment. Skin to skin. Breath to breath. Both of you panting through your comedown.

The others fall upon you.

Jin's hand cups your stomach, and Jungkook's teeth drive into Yoongi's shoulder with a quiet yelp and a 'yah jungkookie'. you love how grumbly yoongi gets when he's feeling sensitive but safe.

Namjoon tilts your chin up and kisses you, messy and filthy. When you part you feel dizzy from lack of oxygen. You can't yet register that you're panting, breathing heavily. Still sort of cumming. One orgasm blends into another. Having them around while Yoongi’s inside of you is so much. Good, but a lot as Tae strokes down your spine.

“Did good alpha?” You ask Namjoon.

“Did so well, so so so well taking Yoongi’s first knot.” Now he'll understand how possessive we can get of you. Now he'll get it.

Yoongi ignores him, but around you, the air is thick with the scent of the pack's pleasure. Hoseok ruffles Yoongi's hair than yours, you nuzzle into his wrist. Tae's hands are hungry, and exploratory.

(They watched you through all of this but never once did you wonder if you were pretty, never once did you worry about how it looked, if it was enough. There is a simple love that's here. A simple love between all of you. Through your heat- you've never once been self-conscious. With Yoongi’s knot snug in your pussy, and everyone praising you, you can't find it in yourself to be nervous or worried or feel anything but bliss).

There are familiar hands everywhere- reaching down, feeling where you and Yoongi are connected. The wet slick glide of an omega properly seated on a knot. Tae’s lips pressed against your tit while her delicate fingers paw at your pussy, not a kiss, not a suck, but a pout.

You let her until Yoongi hums, overwhelmed, and then lean down to bite her. Popping back, licking your teeth, echoing a soft "sorry" when you've realized what you've done.

Yoongi shivers as Jin runs a hand up and down his stomach, knuckles brushing yours. Namjoon crowds in behind you. Pushing you both down into the nest. His pack alpha herding tendencies are at play but he’s a warm and reassuring presence behind you. They all settle in to cuddle you and keep both of you safe until Yoongi’s knot goes down long enough to make sure that you’ve been adequately bred. 

Everyone's sort of lying on top of each other. Namjoon behind you, Jin behind Yoongi, Hobi trying and sort of succeeding in squirming his way in between Jin and Yoongi. the pack are noisy. but you sort of love the noise.

"You're pinching my skin hyung." "Wait wait wait, this will be more comfortable." "Namjoon she needs room to like-breathe." "Ow my knee like- cannot stay in this position." "Jungkook!"

The older omega lets Hobi muscle his way in. Pressing a kiss and a nibble to the back of his neck in admonishment. Jungkook sprawls across all of your stomachs and Tae rings the top and Jimin the bottom, guarding you and Yoongi against the door. Classic alpha.

Tae runs her hands over your hair, scratching at your scalp with her long fingernail. You push into her touch like a cat. She does it to you, then Yoongi. Yoongi’s hands skim up and down your hips and he’s breathing heavy.

“Love you,” he says.

he closes his eyes first but you just watch him. A chorus of voices join but you lean down, pecking him over his eyelids. Covering his body with yours. He doesn’t need to worry about anything.

Yoongi wraps his arms around you. Mumbling something into your ear quiet enough that the rest of the pack doesn’t hear. But let it remain a mystery. Let it remain for just you and him.

You rest and cuddle. And Yoongi keeps twitching inside of you. Every time you think that he’s done and that his cock can’t possibly give you anymore he starts to twitch again. Cuming just a little bit more.

It almost feels like Namjoon, who cum's a proportional amount to the size of his cock. Yoongi never normally cums this much, but you can't say you're complaining. One hand resting protectively over your tummy.

You hear Jin's familiar 'tsk' and fingers are at your hole. They guide a bit of spend back up into it. But your eyes are already closed.

You were already tired before and your heat still rages. It's not fire anymore. Something in you satiated. It's not a raging inferno but the kind of warmth that glows from coals, that sizzles on the edge of your skin, like deep-seated honeying of suns and far away stars teeming with wishes and life-giving warmth.

Yoongi decides that he wouldn’t mind doing this, just when you go into heat. He’ll get tests done later; Namjoon will drag him to the hospital after this week to take his blood and measure his hormones.

Dr.Pearl and another beta specialist will come to the conclusion that it’s both your mating mark and your slick that caused a momentarily biological shift that’s temporary at best and a one-off probably (it won’t be a one-off, Yoongi will grow a knot through every one of your heats after this). They’ll prescribe Yoongi less of your slick and a bit of distance from your scent during your pre-heat (both professional opinions that Yoongi will opt to ignore because seriously what the fuck?)

For now, you settle down atop him, keeping his knot safe inside, and go to sleep. Not before feeling each one of your packmates press a kiss to the place between your shoulder blades. Surprisingly sensitive, surprisingly ticklish. You feel it all. The brush of Hobi’s nose, the skim of Tae’s long hair. The plush feeling of Jimin's lips more like petals than skin. The brush of Jin and Namjoon’s stubble. The nibble of Jungkook's teeth.

Yoongi’s lips remain planted to your forehead, he sleeps that way through the rest of the afternoon. The little huffs of his breath tickle your baby hairs, and you can’t say that you mind.

Being the lowest member in the pack’s hierarchy means different things for each pack. Especially with two older omega’s in heat, and you below them in the hierarchy.

As the days drag on, you feel like a bit of a chew toy (not that you’re complaining).

As the lowest packmate in the hierarchy, you bear the brunt of it when their instincts shift from hungry to nesty. The breeding’s mostly done (mostly, but not quite) now is time for nesting, for preparing. It takes time for seed to take. That time that you spend cuddled close. Safe between Jin and Jungkook. Walled in on either side, safely tucked between their chests. Both of their heartbeats beat through either ear.

At least until you wake up.

You omega’s are a conspiratory little bunch. The nest is deep and colorful with many spots to hide. You do not try to hide from Jinnie or Jungkook, there is no need to. the alpha’s are who you hide from, peaking over the edge of an inner nest, the walls built up a bit like an igloo. The three of you playing a pretend game of hide and seek.

Hiding from them and the pleasure that they give you. Because they want to get in the way of all your fun.

It’s not getting in the way of the fun so much as it’s partaking in it, sticking their knots where you need them- but where is the fun in simply fucking? Foreplay is where all the fun happens anyway. Bouncing on a knot can get so boring.

Unless it’s Yoongi’s knot of course. You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of that. His refractory period is a lot longer than the other alphas, even Namjoon who tends to knot for a good 30 minutes. You’ve had him 4? Maybe 5 times since the first? And now he slumbers, hips ringed with hickeys, cock lying limp and pretty pink against his stomach, utterly spent.

You’d ridden Yoongi until he was trembling, until his breath came out as gasps and not growls. Until his knot couldn’t even pop anymore and Namjoon had quite literally scruffed you to get you off of him. Too sensitive for anymore. Twitching duly when you’d popped off for the final time, a glob of cum leaking down your hole to your other one.

And yet, you could tell by the smell of him that Yoongi was drowning in ecstasy, nothing about his scent in pain or discomfort. You did a good job. Your pack had told you, you did.

But still, your mate needs his rest, in the meantime, the omegas can play.

The morning is thick and heavy, sunlight slow moving like honey when the alpha’s start to wake to the sound of soft breathy moans. the alpha's don’t immediately register that none of them are awake and that it’s purely omegan whines and whimpers that coat the air in the sound and smell of sweet pleasure.

Honey, cake, and cream.

Jungkook giggles softly, looking down and you can’t help but smile too- dopey. Fucked out. Fucked dumb. They’re not exactly surprised that you’ve gone non-verbal. Babbling only for Tae and Yoongi when they seriously prod you for a question.

This is just another spike of your heat only… you didn’t bother to wake your alpha’s up for it. You don’t really need your alpha’s knot when Koo is so soft and when Jinnie is- honestly very big for an omega, perfect enough for a bit of comfort in your hole.

But putting the pack omega’s cock all up inside you would not be good. You want to be good for Jungkook, your nestmate who has bitten you so thoroughly your skin aches from his teeth. From your chest to your shoulders and neck. To your hips and backside. Everywhere he’s bitten you up. So that anyone who sees you will know.

The three of you giggle and rub. What started as cuddling and a bit of grinding has become something different.

You and Jungkook hover above Jin lying down, Jungkook teased him a little bit ago for his grandpa's behavior, for not wanting to move and being too cozy. His omega cock stands hard and proud. Not terribly big, but not as small as Jungkook either. You and Jungkook seem not to notice the difference.

You and Jungkook sit perched above Seokjin, the pack omega’s hands roaming without care. His face is pink and his eyes are half closed, sleepy, and happy to let you and Jungkook take what you need.

At least Jin’s heat is near ending. Your and Jungkook’s roar in the meantime. You grind into each other, tummy to tummy, Jin below the two of you left to lazily rock up into the drippy sweet cleft between your pussy and Jungkook’s cock. It’s all very slick as you move against each other. Rubbing and grinding and giggling.

Hoseok blinks awake in the nest, picking himself up with a jerk.

A combination of your slick soaks Jin’s lap, and turns the grind sudsy, almost soapy as he slides up through your pussy kissing Jungkook’s cock. Omega’s do love to scent and rub and grind; you’re doing some mixture of the two. Not scissoring, but it would be scissoring if Jungkook had a pussy instead of the little nub he calls his cock. Jungkook reaches down, tapping his cock against your clit. You purr and squeak at it.

You’re… a bit of a mess, after having been fucked by every available alpha and Yoongi so hard like that earlier- your hole is a bit of a wreck, you're leaking slick and globs of alpha cum that Jin and Jungkook are only too possessive over. Pink when Jungkook reaches down to part your pussy with his hands and sees your wrecked entrance. He's too happy to smear it all over.

You can hardly blame Koo for his fascination, dragging his own little cock and forth between the mess. Putting his cock in (not that you can even close around it, small as Jungkook is) just to feel the heat of your body and what the alpha’s did to you.

It’s a good thing that most of Jungkook’s knot collection is locked safely away in the closet. Otherwise he might be tempted to see if you can take the largest one. The one that’s larger even than Namjoon that Jungkook's only managed to take on occasion when the pack feels like devoting multiple days into opening him up. The one that often leads to multiple days of aftercare because it actually is a little medically questionable for Jungkook to take.

Jungkook might have a bit of a thing for it; a size kink. thats never more apparent than when you're close. when he puts his hands around your waist and his hands almost meet. Watching you take things that look too big, that fuck you dumb like this is jungkook's favorite.

Now that the alphas aren’t making him feel so…so omegan, so fucked out. He’s sorry he missed most of it. He wants to see it again, wants to watch you get fucked open on namjoon's cock.

Jimin lifts his head from the nest, doing a double take and cursing when he realizes that it's not a wet dream just- just real. Namjoon rubs a hand across his jaw, sitting up on his knees in the half-darkness. Clearly he's been awake for a while. His hand goes ridged on Namjoon’s wrist but the pack alpha doesn't look down at him- he doesn't tear his eyes away from you three.

Namjoon’s cock presses up between his boxers, put on for modesty- and because normally omega’s in heat can’t be trusted not to get a little handsy. Hard, insistent. Now, Namjoon wishes that you'd get a little handsy. That would be better than just watching.

“You didn’t?…” he asks, trailing off. Namjoon swallows hard shaking his head. Namjoon already has his hand hooked into Hobi's collar, keeping him in place. Keeping him from interfering. Hobi lets out a lupine whimper. More a puppy than a man.

“Jin asked me not to intervene.”

The pack alpha’s restraint is legendary, especially when Jin giggles at the way you’re bouncing or trying to bounce on Jungkook’s cock. The pack omega tuts, and slips in besides Jungkook, half pushing him out of the way. Jimin starts, but there’s no reason to.

After fucking Namjoon there is more than enough room in your pussy.

The sight of you and Jungkook rubbing your used holes together is something that should honestly be recorded for the communal pack spank bank. The three of you pink-cheeked and healthy, and-

Knocked up. The three of you look like you’ve just been knocked up even though they know you haven't. Your skin glows healthy, your bodies supple and fed. Relaxed and loopy, showing the signs of the care the pack have lavished you with.

Jinnie's glowing too- skin smooth and blemishless, lips puffy and glossy from being kissed so much (as they should be). Although his glow is softer and less harsh. Jin’s heat is already ending, just another ten or so hours now. The fever quiets to a soft hush, a gentle need instead of a rabid one.

Was it the pack omega that dragged you and Jungkook to get off on top of him? It won’t be long now. Namjoon can tell you’re both close to cumming from the way you're shaking and the way Jungkook's breathing.

The slick glossy look of your thighs, your hiccups, the sight of Jin’s cock pressing between your slick folds, peaking out, rubbing against your clit, and the head of Jungkook’s little cock. The pack omega’s hands are hungry twitching as jin cranes back and inarticulately tucks his hands into both your holes. stroking both of them. Jin’s cheeks look round, pouting as he concentrates.

“Want pups, my pups, gimme,” you and Jungkook giggle, pressing sloppy kisses to each other’s mouths, Jinnie’s too- although the pack omega does little but pout and rock into the warmth. Into the wet.

The alpha’s watch and it’s torturous to keep themselves back. But they're good alpha's. When your and Jungkook's rocking reaches a fever's pitch and then quiets. Trembling and overwhelmed. Clinging to each other, threatening to topple.

When you’re finished there is more than one available knot, hard and aching, ready to sit on.

~-~

That’s not the last time that Jungkook seeks you out during his heat. far from it.

You’re not surprised that both his and yours have lasted longer than Jin’s (probably by a day or so). Your and his hormones spike and feed off each other, your heat spikes syncing until your packmates have to handle both of you at once. Your hand remains knotted with his, whining every time one of your alphas tries to cajole you gently away from him. Unwilling to be parted from him during knotting for comfort.

The lulls between Jin’s heat spikes get longer and longer while yours and Jungkook’s remain the same. Jungkook’s even speed up a little if anything.  

Jungkook loves going into heat with you- he really does, it feels like he’s always reaching, always craning his neck to watch you. The tender nape of his neck is bruised from the number of times that the alphas have had to scruff him docile. All of him feels Bitten and nibbled at every available opportunity.

Really, Jungkook's sort of in heaven.

The alphas never throw him around the same way they do when he's in heat. They don’t treat him like he’s delicate, like he’s precious, especially with you around to dote on and fuss with. You take the brunt of Jin’s protective instinct too.

Jungkook can be as bratty as he wants, bite whichever alpha he wants, and chirp as long as he needs to. Outside of heat they rarely ever hold him down and make him take it. They always hold back. Only in heat at his most vulnerable do the alphas really stop treating him like he's fragile.

He likes pushing their buttons and making them bite. Now, Jungkook does it because he can't stand it.

Cute aggression? It must be cute aggression.

He wants to squeeze and nibble and wreck you, Watching as jimin tucks his face into your neck as his knot twitches, your entrances stretched tight around it and your legs wide open so that Yoongi can gift tortuously small touches to your clit, all but torturing it as you seem to squirt and squirt and squirt.

So much until you’re dripping around the hollow of his wrist. Your petal pink lips parted, ready for a nibble. He'd barely satiated his desire to mark you up earlier. The haze of hormones is thicker than smoke in the air, turning his brain mushy as he listens to Yoongi beg.

“One more, just one more for me. You made me cum until I couldn’t anymore so now it’s your turn.”

You sob, but thats not a no. Your knees get brought up. Cute, plush, like a fucking stuffed animal. Jungkook once again, gets the inexplicable urge to squeeze you.

The alpha's have you both pressed chest to chest. Underneath you, Jimin continues to drive his cock in smooth efficient bunches, a knot already popped inside. You'd asked him to be mean with it and sob you do. Begging and pleading for more more more at the same time you say you can't take another orgasam.

Jungkook remains above you on his hands and knees. Namjoon lies along Jungkook's spine. Punching a groan from Jungkook’s chest with every impossibly long and thick drag of his cock. Making the omega feel all of it.

A fresh wave of your slick squirts against jungkook's chest and Jungkook's arms buckle. He sort of falls half on top of you. Yoongi hums and puts Jungkook back on his hands and knees so that he can keep touching your pussy. Jungkook rests his body against Yoongi's arm to keep himself up. Mouth open.

Jungkook thinks he might imagine it. He must, because he can feel Namjoon’s cock pressing against his tummy, feel it as the bulge kisses your skin the give of your belly button.

Your giggle feels like a punch to his gut. As your hand slides up his slick stomach to palm at the belly bulge, touch him the same way he touched Namjoon's cock through you. He loves it. He presses his forehead against yours, your eyes just as dilated and as gone as his. Rubbing his face against yours in a half kiss- half scent mark.

There's a lot of squirting, mostly from you. Jungkook likes watching you squirt. It's so pretty.

Jimin yanks his knot out of your hole, a move that he wouldn’t be able to pull if you hadn’t been knotted by Namjoon recently. Perhaps inspired by watching you knotfuck Yoongi. Pulling at you so hard that it honestly to god looks like it hurts, it looks mean. It makes you squirt violently again against Jungkook's straining abdominal muscles.

Jungkook bites your cheek. Hmm, squishy.

He bites the other side, and it blooms under his teeth.

You tremble and almost seem to pass out of a second. And then- really do pass out once Namjoon pulls back, reaches around Jungkook, and says something to Yoongi, who pulls his fingers away from your clit, you jerk trying to chase the pleasure. Only to run headlong into Namjoon’s hand, landing hard over your clit.

You gush through Namjoon’s fingers, soaking the place where he and Jungkook join. At the same moment Namjoon shoves his slick-coated knot into Jungkook’s hole.  

Your head lols back against Jimin's shoulder and you let out a single broken whimper. they're pushing you to your breaking point. (But you have a gut feeling that once you break and they put back together, you'll finally feel whole).

Across the nest, Jin perks up a little horrified. He's being fussed over by Tae and Hobi, happily doted upon while Hobi's knot rests safe inside. knot warming. Comforting Jin through the end of his heat. Hobi turns and Tae starts to get up to intervene but then- 

Jungkook giggles at your sobs, lapping at your tears. Clenching wildly and grinding back against Namjoon’s knot, the pack alpha moves him so that Jungkook can press his lips to your slack mouth.

You blink, dazed, look up at him.

“Meanie Joonie” Jungkook giggles, the omegaspace haze so thick he can hardly string a coherent sentence together. “Meanie Minnie! Meanie Yoonie! Again! Wanna see!” Jungkook moves, trying to get his hand in between your legs to spank your clit again, but his swats don’t do anything, too gentle.

Jungkook is literally getting the daylights fucked out of him right now, he hardly has the energy to lift his own head, let alone spank your pussy the way he wants.

oh, after this heat, after this, he's going to have so much fun figuring out how much you can take.

Yoongi's teeth look incredibly sharp, a little feral at being asked. But Jimin nods and fuckes his knot out of you and Yoongi spanks your clit again. You've never squirted so many times in a row but you leak like a faucet now.

The next flood of your slick lands on Jungkook’s cock. Jutting against your stomach with the force of Namjoon’s thrusts. He giggles again. Shifting closer away from Namjoon- hissing at the tension around his knot. So that Jungkook can press your slick stained and swollen tummies together better.

When he cums too seconds later, from another brutal press of Namjoon’s knot to his prostate and a mean pinch to the head of his cock- he giggles and uses his hand to spread his spend over your stomach.

You’re already lost to exhaustion. But Jungkook pecks your nose, tucks his face under your throat, and goes right to sleep. 

When Jungkook wakes, he's still like that. He's not being filled, and things are calmer.

The freshly fallen night is a hush on the edge of the nest, There is a different need coursing through him. A different sort of wanting. A physical hunger. His body is exhausted, sore, and bitten.

Your chest smells like Tae's lipstick, like her kisses. Jungkook’s pretty pretty pretty alpha, the prettiest alpha that is on the other side of the nest, talking with Jin and sharing soft kisses. She must have come over earlier to check on you, must have kissed you here.

Jungkook is dimly aware of her soft words, “Do you want a knot Jinnie? Some food? Some water? A cloth? How are you feeling? Does anywhere ache my love?”

Jin's answering hum is exhausted but happy. After a second he quietly admits, “My thighs hurt.”

Yoongi is summoned, Hobi too. To squeeze and help relax the pack omega. The sound of his squeaky laugh and shy moan a welcome return.  

Jungkook dozes while you and Jinnie rest, his body over your body, lined up chest to chest, nuzzling first at your throat and then lower when Jungkook's instincts tug at him. The pack is not as worried about him being snappy. They've long since decided that whatever happened at the beginning of the heat was just that- an anomaly at the beginning. Both of your instincts settling.

But now, Jungkook crouches over you like an alpha might. Protective.

Possessive.

There is something syrupy sweet in the air, just below your skin. Jungkook couldn’t smell it until he started nosing at your throat, but now he can. Something laces through your veins, something that smells divine, something that he can almost taste, like sugar only sweeter.

He begins to move lower.

Your breasts smell like Tae, like alpha, they’ve been given so much attention, teeth marks and bruises line your areolas, Tae has sucked your nipples pink and sensitive and stiff puffy already. Imprints of Jungkook’s pretty alpha and her pretty teeth stay there like a shadow, a bruise. There is a word you call her, 'mommy.' He likes it when you call her that. It has Jungkook’s pretty alpha smelling muskier and impossibly prettier.

Jungkook’s mouth is perilously empty, it's starting to bother him. Jungkook lips his lips. Dry.

Her voice comes distant now, your hands push at Jungkook’s shoulders when he noses, but only briefly before Jungkook’s pretty alpha tuts, holding you still and keeping you from squirming as he noses, pushing through your sweet skin, searching for something. Girl omega’s are so soft. So soft everywhere.

Jungkook loves it. Is this Omegaspace? Or pupspace? Or some combination of the two.

Something starts squirming underneath him, a chest rising and falling, a heartbeat beating rabbit prey fast. But the squirming stops as quickly as it begins. Jungkook's pretty alpha looms closer, coming to see what you're fussing for and cooing at your quiet squeaks and chirps.

Tae's wrist is close, close to Jungkook's teeth as she grabs your wrist and holds you steady. Restraining you gently. “Let Jungkook have at you pup, he’s been a very good omega, don’t you want to help soothe him?”

Of course, Tae does not notice that Jungkook's going after something new, and does not notice that this isn't normal soothing. Sucking at your chest is her favorite thing. She doesn't think anything strange of Jungkook's hungry licking and desperate sucking.

There is some sweet whining on the edge of Jungkook’s senses. Independent of the sweetness beneath his nose, the warmth reaches his lips and he opens his mouth to suck. His breath going ragged.

Closer, closer still, warm and soft against his face, like a nest made flesh, like Jungkook’s nest in one person.

Jungkook sucks at your chest, lips pressing once they find the source of it- of that smell. Your nipple on the roof of his mouth is exactly what he'd been missing. Comforting. You are so soft, so soothing. He likes it. There is no fire from heat with you here at his front and yet, Jungkook still burns. The sweet smell under your skin is closer this way. Jungkook needs it, needs you like water. Clinging.

His taste buds spark with something, just a little at first then more the more that he sucks. Jungkook makes a soft sound and Tae just shushes him. Alpha, he wants to speak, alpha found it! His squishy Omegaspace brain wants to tell Tae. The urge to show and tell is quickly overridden by the need for more.

It's so sweet. So fatty that Jungkook's head spins. Mouth filling with liquid that tastes like you, but a bit like Jinnie too.

You taste Milky.  

Jungkook's eyebrows come together and Tae teases, her fingers running against his cheek slowly filling. throat bobbing Her voice sounds like it does when she's grinning. Tae can be forgiven for not immediately realizing what’s happening because Jungkook is swallowing it down before any of it has a chance to make it to open air, gasping and sucking wildly. Hungry.

"Oh, tasting something good bunny?" Jungkook's sure she must be smiling even though his eyes are still closed. Still half asleep but waking up.

A little more, something hot and sweet fills his mouth, and Jungkook sucks it all down, more with every tight press of his lips. Your squirming stops and you sigh, going rim rod straight for a second and then relaxing.

You're staring up at Tae all dazed and cute, letting out sweet babbles of "mommy mommy-alpha mommy please." Your toes curling in the nest. But who knows what you're asking for.

tae reaches down and puts her fingers in your mouth, giving you something to suck at, quieting your desperate whimpers.

Jungkook doesn't like it, doesn't like her touching you. this milk is his- it belongs to him. The milk sweet and fatty fills his mouth, slowly at first, then more. You stop squirming below him, sighing in relief body going slack. Jungkook's arms go firm around your waist, holding you still, holding you close.

It's good, yummy even. Jungkook sucks more and more and more without really understanding. His heat-fried brain not sorting through the facts of the situation.

"Does Jungkook feel good little pup? Is he making you feel all tingly?" Tae teases, softly now, like she's conscious of the idea of waking everyone else up. She leans down crouching over to nip at your throat. Settling you. But there's nothing to settle, your head lol's to the side, staring blankly ahead. Whimpering. drooling around tae's fingers, she takes them out and slips them down your throat. stroking gently.

"Hopefully he doesn't bite you too sensitive because it's my turn once he's done, gonna squirm and cry for me gonna-" Tae breaks off, inhaling jagged.

Jungkook's tongue rolls against your nipple, keeping a small dribble from slipping down your body. Lips parted in ecstasy, a single drop drips from his tongue onto your skin, just a little.

But it's enough.

There is something pearly, dribbled down around your sternum. Almost translucent, but still white and cloudy.

Tae blinks like she can't really believe it.

Then she growls, loud, shocked. violent enough to wake the others. Whereas before she'd been stroking through Jungkook's hair, now her hand goes vicelike and tries to pull him off. Jungkook whines and squirms, unwilling to be parted from you until Tae growls again in warning.

Namjoon picks up his head from the nest at the sound. Jin blinks awake against his throat and Yoongi shifts and shuffles awake. Rubbing his eyes with a closed fist when he sits up.

When Tae finally succeeds in pulling him off of you, he looks almost hurt, pouting up at her. Tae's gaze eviscerates him. Their eyes narrow at the spill of it, the glimmer of milk on his lips. A bit of milk dribbles down Jungkook's cheek. Traveling down his collar bones to his pectorals and abs, gathering in his belly button, in the little furrow of skin between his lap and tummy.

Tae's finger gathers it on her fingertip and guides it back up to Jungkook's mouth, a breathless growl. Incredulous, near worshiping.

"Messy puppy."

How many more biological surprises could the pack possibly have in store for them? They're a little too tired to be particularly alarmed, and yet, they drag their bodies over. To make sure, to see.

To taste.

Hoseok hangs his head, his whine supine. "Jesus fucking Christ, you-" Namjoon looks away then looks back again. Like he can't quite bring himself to watch and can't quite tear his gaze away.

“I’ve only just gotten used to the idea of Yoongi knotting and now-"

Jin wordlessly rubs a hand over his face, Jimin doesn't say anything, trying to muscle Yoongi out of the way, looking down at you with something indescribable, at Jimin's movement, Namjoon's hands go to your elbow, your wrist, and Jin snaps.

"No, everyone behave. She is not a chew toy."

Everyone goes quiet, admonished. Tae continues to hold you, still looking down, and Jin realizes that if he's not careful, everyone is going to snap. Tae is going to snap. He can see it in the tremble of her body, the curl of her teeth over her lip, her control is seconds from snapping. Her scent spikes climbing higher and higher, almost smelling like she's in rut.

but you're his pup. jin bends under the force of his instincts, checking on your first. Jin leans over you, brushing the hair out of your eyes, and revealing your glassy fuzzy gaze.

"Daddy?" you ask, confused. Jin hasn't heard that name in a little while, not that he's complaining.

"Sweet little puppy, my sweet little pup, are you alright, is it too much?"

Your hand's press and release in the nest. "No just- just hurts- aches, Koo.” Your eyelashes flutter, “Koo makes it better.”

Jungkook is a possessive little thing, hisses and splutters and clings to your front. even as yoongi and namjoon try to get him off of you You squirm looking up at Tae and Yoongi and Jin, the haze cuts for a moment and they recognize your franticness as more than just overstimulation.

"Do you want us to get Jungkook off of you?" Yoongi asks, voice husky. Namjoon holds Jungkook prepared to wrench him off of you if you say so. Jungkook isn't in his right mind, but Yoongi can't help but watch as he sucks like a man starved, throat bobbing with every swallow. His cheeks warm and round-looking. Oh, oh this is-

Yoongi is getting hard. The skin around his new knot tugging. He really really thought that after this morning when you rode him like your life depended on it- that would have been that.

You nod then shake your head. "Want Mommy to choose- want Tae-tae."

Namjoon uses the hand in Jungkook’s hair to pick him up off of you for a second. Jin has to pinch the back of his neck to get his teeth to release. Your nipple is pink and bitten when his mouth finally leaves you.

They watch for a second, but it barely takes a moment before the milk is back, dribbling out, trailing down the curve of your breast. Jungkook is still half asleep. Shifting downward happily when he realizes the pack don’t mind it if he licks up whats spilled. Bending down to lap up what’s trailed down to your tummy and navel.

Tae's nostrils flare and her eyes are all pupil, dark and brown, and glassy. Yoongi jogs her out of her reverie.

"Tae." he asks, an edge of dominance to his voice that wouldn't have sounded the same yesterday, not before Yoongi had a knot. Yoongi shakes his head, wordlessly. And he sees Tae return to herself, just a little.

You squirm under Jungkook. Upset, lower lip wobbling. "No, I want, want Koo- it- it aches-" Tears bead at the edge of your eyes and Yoongi is not thinking, not truly, when he reaches down to feel.

You whine as Yoongi toys with your chest, fingers rubbing gently over your wet peaks, rolling them until more milk beads. Mesmerized. Slowly at first and then more aggressively, tugging at them until your back arches.

"Tae," Namjoon's voice is stressed, Jimin shuffles up beside her, offering a comforting touch on her shoulder. "Tae" Namjoon repeats, a bit more command in his voice, her gaze jerks up in his direction.

"Yes"

"Can you handle this without going into rut?"

"Yes alpha." Namjoon watches her for a second longer. Judging the haze in her eyes, and then tips his head down. Permission. But Namjoon is nearby, Namjoon is watchful and wont let any of them go too far.

It’s gentle- how the alphas manhandle you, placing you square in Namjoon's lap, reclining there for your mommy to have her turn. He can hold your wrists this way, you want to squirm, need to squirm. The ache is overwhelming. You just want to full feeling to end. Jungkook was so close to making it go away.

“Be still little treasure, sweet sweet pup, let Taetae have what’s hers.”

Jungkook tries to go back. But Tae doesn't let him, muscling him out of the way until she growls and nips. Speaking with snarls and whines and not with words. But Jungkook is but a pup beneath Tae's play wrestling. She's always been stronger than him and after a brief scuffle of push and pull, he whines. Resting his head on your shoulder.

Tae can hardly think through it. Her pup, her sweet little pup, chest swelling from her attention. Was it her sucking that did this? Was it her sucking that tugged your biological impulse until it shifted into real change?

You are so perfect she could cry, she could knot the air with how horny it makes her.

Tae looks at your face, your tears spill down your cheeks and your voice cracks, "Mommy?” you think if Tae checks, if she makes sure that you’re okay, everything will be fine.

Tae lowers herself gently over you, hair tickling your skin, and connects her mouth to your chest.

Tae is immediately gone, milk filling her mouth that tastes like ambrosia, like the heavens made liquid, like home. she grinds her popped knot against the nest as she sucks and sucks and sucks. immune to your squealing. Hand reaching down to paw uncaring of your overstimulation. You're as wet between your legs as you are on your chest. Her brain is a mess of more and more and more.

For a second, Tae's alpha convinces her that she's actually done it, she's actually pupped you. Why else would you be sweetening so much? Why else would you be like this, sweet and swollen on her tongue.

You're getting slick all over the nest again, Tae can feel slick gathering around her wrist, fingers losing their concentration, so focused on getting more milk in her mouth, sucking that she forgets to finger you properly. Your chest is so sensitive you feel like you could scream. Every suck makes you sob in overstimulation.

Above you, Yoongi curses.

Each packmate must have their turn with you, once they all rouse and confusion quickly melts away into downright giddiness. It's dizzying, your eyes are closed half the time, and the other half you're not sure you can make sense of what's infront of you either.

Brain settling into that place where everything feels good, where nothing matters but the pleasure and the soft praises falling from their mouths. Namjoon muscles Tae out of the way for a taste after she's turned slack-jawed and milk-drunk. And his spiky head pressed against your skin makes you feel- makes you-

Obey obey obey. You lose track of what’s happening, but your pack does give you what you want, what your body needs. You don’t have to squirm too much before someone, one of your alpha’s or is it Yoongi? Shuffling between your legs to bury his head in your chest.

Having them feed from you is a flurry of sensations. They bury their faces in your chest, hair tickles skin, stubble pressing. Someone giggles, Tae maybe. She presses a kiss to your button mouth. Eyes furrowed as you cry and cry and cry.

You don’t understand why you’re crying, why you’re overwhelmed. But you don’t need to think too hard about it or anything. Any needs that you do have are taken care of.

The pack always know what you need, that you need to feel steady, held and kept. the second you start to push. They restrain you.

Why would you even need a breeding bench when you have your packmates to keep you still? There are hands holding you down everywhere, your wrists, your ankles. Your knees. You push against their touch just to feel them put you in your place.

And as much as you struggle to admit it, you do feel better, and less tense. Less full. Less like a rubber band poised to snap when they pull back.

You cum like that, fingers in your pussy, mouth around your nipple. You don't know how much you have or how much milk they're taking from you but it's enough to leave the alpha's milk drunk and dopey. Even Jinnie is a little dazed from it when he has his turn.

It shouldn't surprise you that Yoongi is the gentlest, pushing Namjoon away after you've come, kissing him, cursing low at the taste in his mouth.

"Really hyung, your mate, fuck-"

"Fuck." Yoongi agrees. Nosing at your chest before he latches, lips sucking your nipple into his tongue, waiting for that first spark. And oh- oh- drinking from you feels like cuddling. You could call him a sap and you'd be right but there's something so instinctual about it. He knots and you give milk. Round and round your instincts go on the merry-go-round until both of you get off.

Who knows maybe your body stopped and waited to make the shift until Yoongi's did.

You only really squirm when Jin guides Hoseok down. He's blushy and tries to pull back, But the pack omega doesn’t take his shyness for an answer without a no. All pups need to eat, all pups need to get their fill. Your milk smells so sweet, so filling. Lifeblood and love and satisfaction made sustenance. Your body wouldn’t be milking up so nicely if it wasn’t for your alpha’s. They should taste the result of their efforts.

Hoseok only lets himself take one mouthful, shivers rising up and down his body before he moves aside and lets Jimin have a taste.

Jimin- who almost immediately tries to bite and snarl. Nipping at your skin when tae jerks him away from you by his hair maw open. He's barely had a sit but that's enough for Jimin to turn feral. Immediately straining, immediately pulled in your direction. A dark purple bruise is already forming around your nipple. Too rough, Jin fusses, pulling a blanket over to you, building a nest around your body.

"No Jiminie- bad!"

Namjoon takes Jimin from Tae. The alpha snarls and splutters but whines when Namjoon snaps at his throat.

You are not lucid, not really. Eyes closed and reaching for your packmates. Someone touches you, hands frantically checking your body- but you want to tell them that Jiminie really- he just got a little teethie. It's okay. You're fine!

Tae bends to kiss it better. They guard you while the sound of snarls sound from the other side of the nest. Namjoon dealing with Jimin. They guard you. Their sweet milky pup, who could possibly be more precious?

After Yoongi has another turn, you decide dimly that it's a good thing, your body moving the edge of its tolerance and doing this. Lactating. Swelling with milk. Maybe it's because it's been so long since you've gone into heat.

After a few minutes, the bellies of your pack are warm nourished, and full. It’s okay, you can sit here like this, open and still for each of them to take a taste. Sucking your nipples pink and puffy.

“Is it permanent?” Jungkook slurs when he’s woken up a bit, yawning until his jaw pops, milk-drunk and sleepy. Nuzzling into your shoulder while Jimin gives you so much attention that you’re squirming (this time wearing Namjoon’s collar since someone needed to hold onto him and keep him from biting).

His ass glows where he sprawls and every time he so much as threatens to growl Namjoon leans over and pinches his sore behind. A warning that everything, all that sweet sweet milk in his tummy. Belongs to Alpha. Jimin can only have it if he's good.

“Is it gonna be like this all the time?"

There is a computer-cracking light on the edge of the nest, a square of light that Namjoon clicks through. Licking his lips again, although your milk no longer coats them. He brought it out earlier when Jin had questions about Yoongi, but now he’s glad to have close access to it.

“It’s fairly common with female omega’s, something about the extra glands and phantom pregnancies.” Namjoon’s voice has gone from hoarse to strong. Your milk on his throat.

Namjoon looks at you, then blushes and looks away.

You don’t know if you’ve ever made Namjoon blush like that. You still lay prone, blinking up at Tae. Wordless. Your brain is small under the feeling of so much attention. A tension in you is released easily. 

Jin gets up from the nest, so quick that he goes dizzy, he’s wearing boxers now, boxers, and a big shirt. Jin too had tasted you. A few swallows. Good, it tasted so good. But your head lolls in the nest to the side, letting out little shallow breaths as Jimin sucks at your chest, your other breast still swollen looking.

Oh, Jin's little pup. You're being so good.

Jin’s instincts bear down on him. An impressive weight that makes him buckle. “I need to go cook something. If everyone's going to eat but her- that’s- I-” Jin huffs and makes to leave the nest in a huff. determined and not the least bit wobbly.

Hoseok trails after. Lips glossy from milk, too flushed to think straight, tripping on the edge of the nest and hitting the door on the way out. Embarrassed a little- but then again everyone is paying attention to you so it goes without teasing.

Huh, the pack omega is leaving the nest. Does that mean the heat is over?

No not quite, you and Jungkook still burn with fever. It's just Jin's heat that's ended. Who knows, maybe one sip of your milk had his body reacting, reassuring him that the work is done, at least one omega got pupped during this heat (you certainly did not get pupped, the contraceptive did its duty, but your confused body has Jin's confused as well).

Although you squirmed initially, the fact of the matter is that once everyone's had a sip, your nipple sucked hard and glossy- it’s a little hard not to need it. The release of pressure, the tension. Your body makes more the more they suck.

You try to enjoy breakfast once Jin's made it, feeling warm and sleepy, bites fed to your mouth. Chewing and swallowing obediently. But it’s hard, you’re so tired. Unable to hold yourself up no matter how much they try and get you to. Limp propped against Yoongi's chest, Namjoon's, your body so heavy and so tired and now sore the second someone stops sucking.

No sooner has Yoongi slipped one of Hoseok’s shirts over your head than has wetness started to gather at the front and an uncomfortable pressure began to build. They give up and take it off because Tae is eyeing you hungrily and really. Your whines of displeasure and teary eyes are too much for them to handle. Simultaneously denied and overstimulated.

Tae sets you back against Jimin’s chest, the alpha holding around your middle. She may have had one sip earlier but now that they’ve established that yes feeding from you is something you need she’s going to hog you.

She ducks low, kissing your nose, your lips, your chin before she buries her head where you’re softest.

“Mommy mommy please.” You whine as she teases, using just her lips to mouth there, waiting until milk beads, sensitive, slip down your skin to lap it all up.

“Oh little pup, don’t want to let any go to waste? We can’t have that. You’re so sweet like this. How good you are- how lucky we are. Alpha’s fucked you so good you can’t help but milk up huh? Wanted a pup so bad that your body caught on before a pup did huh? How cute. Aren’t we so lucky Minnie?”

“So lucky,” Jimin groans, holding around your middle, hands pressed to your stomach. Slipping lower as Tae sucks.

There is some hushed whispering, a rustle of bed sheets, you blink up at the ceiling, and then a vibration sounds, and you let out a broken, “oh.” as it starts.

You turn, look, and Yoongi grins, tears bead at the corner of your eyes, but it’s hard not to rock up into it. You remember- the alphas putting a collection of vibrators and knots and dildos on the edge of the nest, in case they needed them. But it's a good reward now, an easy orgasm that hits you warm.

Your body is hungry for pleasure, endlessly hungry for it in heat. Tae laps up the center of your chest while she switches from tit to tit, both milk and sweat. Feral as she does it, a look down at her says her eyes are dark, teeth sharp.

But she’s so careful, so gentle as she sucks. Yoongi turns the vibration up higher, and you jerk, or try to. Sandwich in on all sides. Surrounded by them, carried to the precipice of pleasure by the vibrator pressed to your clit, keeping you pinned there beneath the waves of pleasure. So much. Too much. Your body is so sensitive from the last three days of this. You can’t possibly handle it.

“Can’t cum again, can’t Mommy, too- too little. Too much.” You babble, but Tae tuts. Pulling off of you, a bead of milk on her pink lips.

“Good pups cum as many times as their Mommy wants them to, come on pup, make a mess all over Mommy’s dress for me."

You obey her with a broken whimper.

~-~

notes:

namjoon is so fucking horny when he's talking about yoongi's knot and i lowkey love it, how kinda like- obviously guided by hornyness he is.

also it is 1000% the mating mark that's making yoongi have a knot like- his biology is all fucked up because beta's aren't supposed to mate, the hormones in his body that keep him neutral are being kinda 'adjusted' by the m/c's slick and mark and hormones.

me 🤝 the m/c, wanting to bite yoongi's nose.

i really wanted the scene with yoongi and the m/c to kinda be like- a final opus and like super intense, how did i do?

i struggled with writing some of the dialogue in this initially- which is so /not/ how writing usually goes for me, usually the dialogue is very easy to me but i worry that i'm getting a bit repetitive with my kinks.

honestly why do i feel the need to make the smut poetic like??? is this only for me or is this a thing???? "Yoongi fucks the same way he talks, sweet but firm. he cums that way too. Warm and slow. You feel every syllable and every drop." like thats so pretty.

the m/c bites tae because she's making yoongi overwhelmed and that's the m/cs job 😠.

okay but the reason why i describe yoongi as breathing heavy is because i personally may have...stumbled uppon a audio of his breathes and him breathing heavy and fuck if that isn't hot.

part of yoongi's smutt scene was inspired by badoobee's 'real man' so yeah, i don't really really really like the message of her song, but it is sexy so 🤷‍♀️

yoongi with the life fucked out of him: 😵‍💫 mc: i did a good job 🥰 honestly though in my mind he has trouble being in the same room as her after she litterally rides him until he can't cum anymore.

honestly jk and her holding hands while they're both getting fucked is such a cute image like fuck i love them so much. i love this version of jungkook so much- i'll always be happy with his charecter in bily.

dang, i really did make jungkook's parts super super horny.

i feel like everyone who reads this should know it's completely possible to make yourself lactate just from nipple stimulation like- even if you're male. lowkey when am i going to write a normal non-abo total power exchange fic with cisswap taegi turning the m/c into their little milksub, and they decide (because the m/c's mommies know best) that they'll put her through a sucking schedule to see if they can make her chest turn milky as an experiment! only to offer her milk up to all their friends ie the rest of bts, bonus points if she starts leaking when they're at a normal friend gathering and it turns into everyone trying it.

Similarly to how yoongi always pops a knot after this, i think the m/c also lactates through every heat after this. and then one day in the distant future after one heat it just...doesn't stop. And the pack realize it's a sign that she actually /does/ want to be knocked up or at least her inner omega has decided she's ready to actually be bred.

is this self indulgent? yes. do i care? no.

even i have to admit that i'm a little bit tired of writing smutt at this point tbh...but luckily we have just one chapter after this with smutt! and it's mostly aftercare and a lovely little spanking scene <3

[yuikomorii]

I love Yui she's such a nerd, honestly your blog is the whole reason I even like Yui now, I never disliked her but I never cared about her because she seemed kinda the basic " Nice girl " trope ( and I watched the anime first ) so I just ignored her but your blog put more light on her personality and now she is so much more interesting to me. I honestly wish we would get some more background info on her about her old life before the Sakamakis, we do kinda but not much.

When I thought Yui was a bland Nice Character only to realize she's a Clusmy, kinda slow, obsessive girl in love and somtimes just as crazy as the Sakamakis, like girrrl I've seen those Bad endings, Shuu More blood brute?? Ayato bad endings? Our true queen, say delulu in love Yui ❤️

// Haha, I’m glad to hear that. 💕💕

I don’t have anything against the “nice girl” trope, as long as it’s executed well and the girl has more depth than just being “too good for this world.” Yui might come across as your typical nice girl at first glance, but even outside the endings, she occasionally does or says things so unexpectedly problematic that you can’t help but wonder “What’s wrong with her?”. That said, she’s not meant to be a normal character, since this is a game made for people with masochistic fantasies, and we’re supposed to either play as her or put ourselves in her shoes. It’s pretty clear Yui has always had some underlying masochistic tendencies. After all, she started enjoying the bites during the Dark section of the HDB chapters, which isn’t exactly something a “normal” person would do… well, not so fast. 👀

Yui is a kind and stupid girl in general, but she can also be cunning and even worse than the Diaboys when mad, so that’s what makes her interesting. Honestly, I’m glad she’s crazy too, if she weren’t, I’d feel way too bad for her. At least this way, she shares some of the twisted traits of her men, which makes her dynamic with them feel more balanced. 😂😂

Speaking of those endings, every time I think about them, I get chills. I can understand the “I’ll get rid of everyone for senpai because he’s my precious senpai and mine alone!” type of Yandere you see in anime, but the ones who do something truly horrifying to the person they claim to love are on a whole other level of disturbing. At least in Shu’s one, she “only” stabs him and locks him in a dungeon to turn him into her one and only blood slave. But in Ayato’s ending? She literally paralyzes his entire body out of jealousy, leaving him unable to move or speak yet fully conscious of what’s happening, while she carries him around like an actual DOLL, and then she uses him for pleasure. It’s practically an allegory for reducing someone to a living sex doll—an object meant solely to look good and fulfill someone else’s desires, which is just next-level of messed up, lol.

Credit to: dialovers-translations

I even remember this screenshot from the Chinese edition where Yui says to a paralyzed Ayato, “Ayato, don’t go anywhere.” Girl, where was he even supposed to go?? You literally took away his ability to do anything. Even Karlheinz got creeped out! 😳

[bamgyuuuri]

hiii can u do the boys when they love another member’s gf? i love angst hehe and i love your works!

⤷ washing machine heart ┈ ot5.

pairings and tags. lovesick!ot5 x members'!gf . angst . yearning . guilt . suppressing feelings . denial . longing . inner turmoil/conflict . lmk if i missed any!!

word count. 0.9k

short note ... AAA i love love love this req! thank you so much for sending me this, anon! and so so sorry that this took so long too T_T nevertheless, i hope u like it <3

soobin .ᐟ

my soobie toobie woobie :( i feel like he would be the type to silently shoulder his emotions, sometimes even trying his hardest to convince himself that his feelings aren't real or that they didn't matter. he'd go and overanalyze every interaction, making sure he isn't overstepping any boundaries he made himself,,, around her, even with the others present, he'd be more reserved and shy, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced by nervous laughter, maybe even going as far as avoiding eye contact altogether or making up excuses to leave the room. he would also maintain a safe distance, actively making sure he's never put in the same room as her. in the end, he'll choose to simply suppress his emotions and feelings entirely, prioritizing the happiness of his dear friend and the peace of the group over his own </3

yeonjun .ᐟ

oh jjunie,,, at first, he'd be in denial; he'll try to convince and tell himself that it was just his fleeting thoughts, that his heart totally did not just do multiple flips after seeing one of his bestfriend's girlfriend smile of all people. but the more he dwells on that thought, the deeper his feelings become, until it's too much to ignore. yeonjun would find it hard to be his usual self around her, trying to play it cool, but in the end, he crumbles completely. as a deeply loyal friend, thinking of and having feelings towards his bestfriend's girlfriend would weigh heavily on him, and he might even try to overcompensate, showing excessive support for their relationship by saying things like, "you're so lucky to have her!" or "you guys are perfect for one another!" so he doesn't feel as awful (it doesn't work) :(((

beomgyu .ᐟ

an actual hopeless romantic :( it would most probably hit him the hardest once he actually realizes his feelings,, his first reaction would be disbelief; he would likely tell himself too that it was just a tiny crush, but the more he suppresses it, the more he'd find it impossible to ignore the pangs of longing and guilt that comes with it. he'd be more "silly" and hyper around her, a mask he puts up so his real feelings doesn't show, only to later regret it once he's alone with his thoughts. as a way to silently express his yearning, he would stay up late, using his talent as an escape, writing songs about her and pouring his emotions into music rather than towards her directly. ultimately, he would try to distance himself one way or another too, even if it left him quietly hurting </3

taehyun .ᐟ

my tyun :(( his level-headed nature would make him approach the situation with as much logic as possible, even though emotions are never entirely rational. he would keep his interactions with her polite but distant, avoiding anything that could be misinterpreted, but in private, taehyun would sit in his room with his headphones on, letting sad or introspective songs play as he processes his emotions. he wouldn’t cry easily, but the pain would show in subtle ways, like in the far-off stares he’d have while thinking about her. but then his pragmatic side would berate him, reminding himself that these feelings were unproductive and unfair, but the ache would linger, quietly gnawing at him. nevertheless, his respect for his bestfriend's relationship would outweigh any hurt he's feeling, letting his feelings fade overtime for everyone’s sake :(((

hueningkai .ᐟ

my sweet sweet hyuka </3 as someone who values the happiness of those he loves, he’d be overwhelmed with guilt the moment he realizes he has feelings for another member’s girlfriend. it would leave him confused and conflicted—he’d wonder how his heart could betray his loyalty to his bestfriend in such a way. kai would likely smile and joke around her like usual, but there would be a noticeable hesitation in his voice, and he might fumble with his words or avoid looking directly at her, as if afraid his feelings would be exposed. his kindhearted nature and empathy would push him towards a resolution: he’d choose to quietly let go of his feelings, no matter how much it hurt, finding solace in the fact that love also means wanting what’s best for others—even if it means stepping aside :(((

taglist! @pagelets, @jettithink, @killa-1009, @j-ji-jia, @frankghgr, @dawngyu, @unusuallyunlikelyfox @sxmmerberries, @napipope-ta, @bamgeutori <3 (click here if you would like to be added ^^)

[trustmypoison]

SVT with a partner who is an engineer

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘Hello can u do svt with s/o that work as engineers??? I'll graduate with diploma in civil engineering soon hehe and I wanna see their reactions like how proud they are with s/o that working in stem industries.’

A/N: This may mention many types of engineering for the sake of capturing a few different examples. Congrats to the requester!

Might be more excited than you to see the success of a project - Seungcheol, Hoshi, DK

For this section, I’m thinking civil, architectural, or software engineering as an example. But he sees you work on something for months in blue prints, drawings, or just a specs list and it doesn’t necessarily feel real to them. Like, they can’t see it, so the vision isn’t there for them yet. But when they start to see it come together or finally see the final product that you’ve spent so much time on, he’s amazed that that just came out of your mind. Like, imagine if you had a hand in a new building and the building is finally standing. He’ll dub it your building and you can’t bring yourself to correct him because it’s cute. 

Loves that you’re an expert in your specialization - Joshua, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Chan

Imagine that you’re an expert in something that you have in your house and you need to call someone in to repair it. He loves watching you tell the tech exactly what the problem is and how to fix it. He also loves letting you haggle the pricing because you know how much the replacement parts really cost. He won’t argue with you if you just want to buy the part and replace it yourself either. (I have lived this my whole life as the child of an engineer, trust me on these things.) And if it’s time to replace something like that, he has the upmost trust in you to shop for it and he’s just handing you the card. 

Has no problem letting you take the reins on projects at home - Jeonghan, Woozi, Seungkwan

I don’t think you can be in this sort of career if you aren’t a planner. There’s a certain strategy to the work that you do everyday and that sort of skill can be used everywhere. So if you guys want to do a project around the house, he totally defers to you to make the plan and he’ll blindly follow instructions. It’s not that they couldn’t do that themselves or hire someone else to do it, but they would put so much trust in your skill that whatever you say goes. 

Amazed that you might travel more than he does - Jun, Minghao, Vernon

It baffles him early in the relationship that you are on the road more than he is sometimes. There can be a lot of travel involved in an engineering career and you will go through long periods of time where you both might as well be in a long-distance relationship. But that’s okay with him. When he calls and gets to talk to you, he’s not super interested in talking about how his things are going. He actually wants to know how your travels are going and if you’re happy with the progress in your project that took you on the road in the first place. 

[suugarbabe]

Lovely lovely Sab, I have another thought for you 🫡

Imagine kind, loving, sweet Enzo getting super pissed and lashing out at Snape in class after he's said something really mean to reader. And Snape's actual low key scared because we all know sweet Enzo is the actual psycho of the group and his quite, direct anger is terrifying coming from someone so sunshine-esque ✌️

Enjoy the day dream love, and happy belated new year 😘

hi keke my love my darling i love you. I struggled a liiiiittle with how to make enzo seem psycho but also not too far from how i normally write him so i did kind of go for like a threatening menacing psycho versus physical violence towards a professor. i hope this is good enough if not please tell me i suck <3

Lip held between teeth your do your best to continue concentrating on the order you're supposed to add your ingredients. Potions was your worst class. Not for lack of knowledge; or even lack of ability. Outside of the classroom you would almost be labeled of proficient, rivaling even that of Blaise Zabini.

But in the potions classroom you might as well be a squib. What was the difference you ask? That would be one Professor Severus Snape. He glides in front of your and Enzo's table just as you're adding the infusion of wormwood. You knew this particular potion called for four shakes exactly. Any more and there would be an explosion of smoke.

Snape's piercing black eyes watching you had your hands shaking. Enzo's placed his hand on the small of your back in a soothing gesture, trying silently to help you stay focused, to breathe. But Snape continued to watch. Each agonizingly slow shake you made his eyebrow rose higher, a low humming noise in the back of his throat.

And it's that noise that has you losing count of how many shakes you've already added, leading to you adding just one too many. You can see the potion start to turn the wrong color, and the top begin to bubble in the wrong way. Enzo has a grip on the back of your robes like he's about to pull you down under the table for protection.

But Snape is quick to correct your mistake more as a means to not have to clean his classroom, or his robes, because of your error than really any care for you. "You're lucky I knew you'd fail. If I weren't prepared your mistake would've destroyed part of my classroom," Snape looked down his long crooked nose with a look of disdain. "I should deduct house points for your incompetency. A sure disgrace to the pureblood you're supposed to be."

Enzo's hand on your back quickly fisted the material. A surefire sign he was angry. "Careful how you talk to them, professor. They're technically ranked higher than you in society, isn't that what you believe?" Enzo's tone wasn't loud. Purposely not drawing attention to anyone else in the class who were still working diligently as to not be Snape's next victims.

Snape straightened at Enzo's statement, hands still behind his back as though he were not truly bothered by the teenager in front of him but there was no missing the flair in his nostrils, "I have no knowledge of what you mean, Berkshire. But if I were you, I'd watch how you talk to a professor."

Enzo's head tilted slightly, a smirk of a grin forming on his lips that you only ever see when he's going to go for a kill. "Well you're a half blood, aren't you professor?" Enzo's biting his lip as his grin is growing; Snape is glowering. "Wouldn't that make you...below them?"

Snape slams his hands down on the table in front of you, causing you to jump back slightly and a few others to look your way. "Eye's on your own cauldrons," Snape spat, everyone's heads quickly turned back to their own work.

He leaned in closer towards Enzo, a raging whisper spitting from his lips as he spoke, "How dare you speak to me that way, boy. Do you forget who I am?"

You've not seen it personally too many times, but you've heard about it from Mattheo and Theo. The switch that sometimes flips within Enzo when he's getting angry. Around you he's usually good at controlling it. But for some reason Snape must have struck a nerve.

The switch was palpable in the air, in his energy that shifted. Enzo placed his hands on the table opposite his professor, leaning forward to shorten the distance. Even though it was a whisper, his voice was still coated in the thickness of what seemed like a threat, "Do you forget who I am? I've seen you at those meetings professor."

A snarl overtook Snape's features, "You don't know what you are talking about, boy." Enzo let out a low laugh, eyes casting down to the table as his tongue ran over his teeth with a smile, "Oh I know exactly what I'm talking about, Professor. I know more than you think; am being taught more than you think. You created a spell when you were a student, didn't you?"

Snape stayed silent, eyes darting back and forth with Enzo's who's seemed to get darker by the moment. "Curious to find out what spells I've come up with? Wonder if they're just as...dangerous."

"Enz!" you whisper shouted through your teeth, "did you just threaten a professor?" You were getting nervous, but Enzo never appeared more confident than in this moment. He picked up some extra ingredients in his hands, "Don't worry love, nothings going to happen. Snape here is actually going to excuse us early from class."

"And why...would I do that," Snape was doing a poor job at keeping his composure, arms now crossed as he responded through gritted teeth. Enzo dropped the billywig wings into the cauldron, "Because in about twenty seconds that little...mistake of mine is going to coat anyone within a five foot radius in sticky black smoke. So we're going to have to leave early to change for our next course."

By time he finished speaking the potion began bubbling once more, Snape hurrying to back away as Enzo held you still in place. With a loud pop and a few laughs from peers you and Enzo now found yourselves coated in a thin black sludge.

"Eugh, gross," you shook your hands towards the floor, plops of essence of your potion hitting the dungeon floor with a splatting noise. Enzo simply wore a devilish grin, keeping a challenging eye contact with the professor.

Snape pointed a long and boney finger towards the door, "Out! The both of you. Go clean yourselves up and get out of my sight at once!" You nodded your head quickly, still intimidated to speak. Enzo just gave a curt nod, still smiling, "Of course, Professor."

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Thanks for all your hard work, I’ve found so many good fics through here.

Do you have any recommendations for human au fics where Crowley and Aziraphale have known each other for a long time before becoming romantically involved. Could be acquaintances or co-workers or even friends, but looking for a good rec without a real meet cute/strangers-to-lover situation! Thanks so much :)

Hi! We have #friends to lovers and #childhood friends tags which you can check for lots of fics like this. Here are some more to add...

be mine tonight (be mine forever) by artenon (T)

Aziraphale knows he’s a solitary person. He knows Crowley may very well be his only true friend. He doesn’t mind this. He does, however, very much mind learning that his coworkers have a betting pool on whether he’ll be coming alone to the department holiday party next week. He especially minds when he learns that the reason there is a betting pool in the first place is because their intern, young Newton Pulsifer, is the only one naïve enough to believe Aziraphale might have a date. ----- In retaliation to a bet made against him, Aziraphale asks Crowley to be his date to the office holiday party. Certainly there are no flaws to be found in this plan. Certainly the secret love Aziraphale has been harboring for Crowley for the past several years won't be an issue. Certainly not.

Slipping by AppleSeeds (T)

When Aziraphale's friend and colleague Crowley asks him out at their work Christmas party, Aziraphale turns him down, having only ever thought of Crowley as a friend. Months later, Aziraphale's feelings for Crowley have changed, but due to a series of increasingly ridiculous misunderstandings, they both become convinced that the other isn't interested in a romantic relationship. (They're just adorable, oblivious, and pining, that's the whole fic.)

Wanna Bet? by Mimsynims (E)

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t find my name’?” “I’m sorry, sir. We have bookings for all of your colleagues, but your name is missing. Unfortunately that means there’s no room set aside for you.” “Right…” Crowley could guess who had made the ‘mistake’. “But surely there’s another room available? It doesn’t have to be on the same floor as the others’.” He would actually prefer it if it wasn’t.  “I’m afraid not, sir. Due to the conference all of our rooms are booked already.” The young woman on the other side of the counter looked genuinely distressed. “Most hotels within the vicinity are.” Crowley sighed and furrowed his brows. He didn’t even want to be here in the first place, and now he didn’t have a place to sleep? Knowing Gabriel, it would be no use asking to be allowed to go back home.  “Let me check something…” The woman brightened again, a small smile growing on her face. “Yes. It’s not ideal, but it seems that two of your colleagues have been placed in double rooms. Perhaps you or someone else can consider sharing?” Anyone want to guess who he ends up sharing a room with? ;)

On The Side by FeralTuxedo (E)

Aziraphale is far too pure of heart to be anybody’s bit on the side. Or so Crowley thinks. But when his friend starts seeing walking red flag Jim, with his dodgy smiles and mysterious past, Crowley does everything he can to protect Aziraphale from disaster. His own heart might just end up being collateral damage.

i've found a way (a way to make you smile) by curtaincall (T)

Crowley worked in Sales. He had never intended to work in Sales. It had just sort of happened. One moment, there he’d been, a newly minted university graduate off to change the world, exquisitely useless Philosophy degree in hand, and now here he was, having sauntered vaguely downwards into a Hell that consisted mainly of cold-calling new customers and sucking up to existing ones.   AU based on The Office.

Between Comfort And Chaos by anathxmadevice (T)

“And how long have you two been a couple?” “Oh, I—” Aziraphale panics. “Ha, well, that’s a funny… We’re not actually—” “We’re just friends.” Crowley says, their voice clear and calm and lightly amused, either because of or in spite of Aziraphale’s flailing attempts to divert the conversation. “Ah, yes, quite.” Aziraphale says, then takes a sip of his drink just for something to do, instead of focussing on the way Crowley said just friends, and how it causes a painful throb in his chest that he has never fully got used to. His memory can only scrabble at the edge of a time where being just friends with Crowley didn’t feel like a particular form of torture. * Or, Aziraphale has been desperately in love with his best friend and housemate Crowley since they were students, but is too scared to do anything about it.

- Mod D

[imasexypotato]

LISTEN!!!!!

I've had another vision....👀

Javier Peña from Narcos aka "Pedro Pascal"

X

Arthur Smith from Made up show aka "Joseph Quinn"

At this point I'm just thinking of new ways to ship them.

I haven't even watched Narcos....

I just saw an edit of Javier Pena on tiktok and my mind automatically went onto somehow shipping him with Joseph Quinn....

Soooooo! I've created a character for him!

Middle school teacher Arthur Smith (Joseph) moves to Colombia because a new teaching opportunity popped up for him.

He moved to Colombia, excited to travel across the country and teach somewhere new.

Detective Javier Pena (Pedro) is a young DEA agent who is quickly making his name known in the force. He's good at what he does.

The two happen to meet by chance, maybe due to a case somehow leading Javi to Arthur's school.

Maybe they cross paths again and start to get to know each other, spend time together.

Javi visiting the school after Arthur's finished teaching, Arthur going to the precinct to spend time with the detective.

Also, think of the angst possibilities! A teacher and a detective!?

Overprotective Javier not wanting to get too close to the sweet professor due to the danger of someone hurting him to get back at Javier.

Professor Arthur, loving his job teaching his students, and wanting to spend time with the handsome detective, but not wanting to bother him when he sees him pulling away..

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?

We could have it all!

Strangers to friends to fwb to misunderstandings to angst to hurt/comfort to getting together to fluff!

Everything.

Sorry I'll stop my rants now.

No I won't.

My bad.

I'm actually obsessed with them.

I might actually start writing fanfic Au's solely for these two! 😫

Now I'm done...peace ✌🏾 🩷

[cawslew]

bonus anon rambling: to me, atsushi is kind of in the best position to give dazai something he's most likely to keep. i feel like dazai plays into what others perceive of him, but he fully believes that being "evil" or "bad" is something deeply embedded in him, which is why his time in the port mafia ends up making him miserably empty, even with what companionship he found there. regardless of his morality, i don't think he wants to be rejected by those he cares about, but the main people he cares for in the port mafia, he played a role in bringing them there. i feel like he can't reject atsushi because he pulled atsushi into a better place, going against what negative opinions he has of himself. dazai got a special soft spot for atsushi, specifically, because he sometimes seems like he's nervous about showing any morally dubious side of him to atsushi, so like how could be directly reject a gift without getting into his insecurities? it amuses me because the vibes i get from atsushi is that, while he is a bit simplistic, he isn't blind to the effort people put in for the greater good. i think he can distinguish those fine lines, especially because he notes the headmaster had a worse past than him and may have had good intentions during his time in the orphanage, but he doesn't really forgive the headmaster at all. to me, he believes dazai is good because dazai put in the effort to support him rather than a blind faith that dazai is good because he is his savior. canon dazai and atsushi's relationship just feels like one of those self-supporting ones because the people in it serve to bolster each other up. its kind of funny that i yapped this far given all this started because i just thought dazai probably has a lifeless room and he should decorate it.

I do love the yapping tho! Always love a good excuse to chat about the faves! But you’re definitely spot on when it comes to Dazai’s internal struggle and the self-image with Atsushi’s ability to see the effort and somewhat of a nuance in other people.

Dazai as a whole has problems with his own morality (which does make me love him for the amount of struggle he goes through). As you said, he does see himself as inherently evil, or you could even say broken. He loathes himself, and that fact always colors everything he does. Even when he DOES do good, he always brushes it off as calculating and manipulative rather than genuine care (He even helps the agency, yet when prompted about them being his friends, he is never able to admit it). Port Mafia shaped him that way in some way. It reinforced him to be like that, and even while he had people he obviously cared/cares about (Oda and Chuuya, for one), they were always shaped by the violence and systems he himself also perpetuated. So I do think he might feel like any love or care he receives might be BECAUSE of his utility or performance.

But then there’s Atsushi, who ABSOLUTELY doesn’t work that way, and Dazai knows it. Atsushi has this almost resilience and huge sense of justice that literally stagnated from his own suffering, abuse, and straight-up torture (Headmaster, when I get you—Headmaster, when I GET YOU—). Like you said, he doesn’t forgive the headmaster because he can see the harm he has done. He’s able to differentiate between someone who’s actively harmful and someone who’s putting in the work to do good. He’s seen the work and effort Dazai puts in, and he values it, even when Dazai doesn’t value it himself (though there’s also a fact that at the end of the day, in Atsushi’s mind, Dazai IS his savior. Someone who saved him from the streets. It’s a point I don’t see people often tackle when it comes to their relationship). Nevertheless, it’s not blind faith but a recognition for genuine care and an ultimate reason why Atsushi is actually suited to have an effect on Dazai as a whole. We all also know that Dazai puts on a facade, and he tries to seem better around Atsushi the most as he wants to keep Atsushi thinking of him as a better person than he is (Atsushi is obviously not blind; he knows WHAT Dazai used to be or what he’s doing, as in manipulative acts, etc. He might not know the scope, but he is well aware of Dazai not being a saint. Nonetheless, he thinks of him as a good person). So, ye, partially rejecting Atsushi’s gifts would feel like rejecting that trust, and Dazai could not bring himself to do so in the end, unless he would be able to actually weasel his way out by honey tongue (Is that phrase in ENG even? I will explain it then to make sure: it’s a phrase that refers to someone who speaks sweetly, persuasively, or in a flattering manner, usually in the context of charming or pleasing someone to the point of being manipulative or insincere. Basically, someone who uses smooth or sugary words to win others over). Rejecting that trust ultimately could mean on a personal level that it would unravel all the progress he’s made in the ADA, and THAT, RIGHT THERE, it would hit right at his insecurities. It’s so personal.

The self-supporting dynamic is such a great way to describe their relationship. Atsushi is someone Dazai can see as proof that his efforts to save people matter, while Dazai is someone Atsushi can look up to as well (Or at the very least someone who pushes him to do better. Not over the fact that after he stopped hallucinating the Headmaster, instead he hallucinates Dazai OR EVEN Akutagawa when he needs that push to do better...). Atsushi doesn’t idealize Dazai, but he appreciates him in a way that’s authentic, and that is probably why Dazai would hold onto every little thing Atsushi gives him at the end of the day.

Dazai’s lifeless, borderline ascetic room would just slowly be overtaken by those small thoughtful gifts from Atsushi. Like Atsushi giving him a tiny potted plant because "It’ll brighten the place up," and now Dazai has this ridiculous little plant on his desk, and he has to water it or feel guilty. Or even Atsushi giving him a picture frame with a group photo of the ADA, and now Dazai has an undeniable, physical proof of his connections sitting right there. And he can’t just put that stuff on any cabinet or any other place, they’re filled up by now with other stuff that Atsushi gave him. No matter where he looks, there’s always SOMETHING that was given to him.

Atsushi probably doesn’t even have any idea how deeply that affects Dazai. He was just trying to be nice and reciprocate, while Dazai is being forced to confront the fact that someone, in fact, CARES for him in a way that he couldn’t fully justify or deflect.

[everestgale]

I SLIDE U SMITTEN ACROSS THE FLOOR FOR THE CHARACTER ASK STUFF -OWL

SMITTEN OUR BELOVED...

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

favorite thing about them

Smitten is so full of love! And he is so open about his love! He loves the Princess no matter what she looks like, no matter what she does to you, how much hurt she inflicts on you. He will always love her! He is so passionate, so devoted to her, even to his own detriment-

Yes, my favorite thing about Smitten is how absolutely deranged and passionate he is. No, I am not sorry /lh

least favorite thing about them

This is less "least favorite thing about him" and more about disliking how some people misunderstand him as possessive and malicious in HEA. He is unhealthy and flawed, and he caused harm, absolutely, but he is not doing anything in HEA from the place of malice, and I will die on that hill <3

favorite line

"Oh, just you wait and see! My vengeance will echo the depths of my bereavement!"

brOTP

I really like the Grey Brothers (Skeptic + Smitten), I like the idea of them having a weird sibling-ish bond, but in a "distant sibling who you don't talk to much because you two are so different... but it's nice to chat and catch up sometimes, and you are still there for each other if you really need one another" kind of way.

OTP

Ironically, I don't actually ship Smitten all that much... who am I kidding, the answer is CheatedSmitten, and I really need to draw more of them when my wrist recovers, or I will EXPLODE-

(If you'd like a reason, a friend wrote a very nice description on how this ship would play out, and I've been rotating it in my head for a few weeks. Smitten, the kind of person to extend his heart wide open, but also to probably wonder if he will ever be enough after he disastrously failed with HEA... and Cheated, the guy who repeatedly failed over, and over, and over, and over, someone who would understand this feeling of not being enough- Okay, I gotta stop, otherwise it will take over this whole post)

nOTP

Definitely not a nOTP, it's just that out of popular Smitten ships, I have a very hard time imagining Smittunist (Smitten/Opportunist), and it's entirely because of how I designed and how I write both of them. In fact, I actually really like seeing how other people write and/or draw that ship!! So it's decisively a "me" and "my designs/interpretations" problem 💔

random headcanon

People-pleaser Smitten. You can see it throughout this entire post, I'm very deep in the "people-pleaser Smitten" headcanon mine, and I can't get out of it /lh

unpopular opinion

Once again, don't know how unpopular it is, but I think specifically in the Unknown Together ending, where Smitten knows that she left with the Long Quiet, while he would be sad for a while over the fact that the Princess is gone, he will eventually bounce back, accept the fact that she is happily with "the big guy" somewhere, wherever that might be, and then choose to extend his over-the-top loving self to other people (mainly, his fellow voices) <3

...this is specifically for the Unknown Together endings. If we're talking about A New and Unending Dawn... well, we get an entirely different Smitten.

song i associate with them

It's more of a mixed HEA + Smitten song, but there is no other song that I associate with Smitten more than this one, so "Predator" by The Crane Wives it is!

"What were you thinking? Shouldn't you know better? You took advantage of another anxious people pleaser"

I'm kind of obsessed with how these lines fit well as HEA singing about Smitten... but also as Smitten singing to the Long Quiet, or rather, you, the player, for choosing to stay in the cabin and create this "Happily Ever After" ending... only to be dissatisfied with it.

favorite picture of them

This is what happens when the character we're talking about is a disembodied voice who has no canon design. So! How about my favorite drawing of him, which is this illustration with the Damsel. Look at them! They are so happy :]

Ignore the fact that it's part of the illustration set and in the rest of the illustrations they are not so happy, that's not what the question was asking!

[cementcornfield]

You should post your thoughts on Ja’Marr and Kyle!! I’m so interested in their dynamic if that makes sense 😅

lmao anon i love you thank you because i was literally just typing a post up by itself. but now i get the benefit of looking like i'm not the ONLY person to care about this. (there's at least two of us!!)

ok so! too much rambling about things that i could no way actually know anything about irl BUT 

kyle and ja’marr being together in paris is VERY interesting to me. their whole relationship is really because like. okay. i have joked that kyle and ja’marr are there to pick out joe’s wardrobe for next year together lmao but like!!! the clothes saga is SUCH a thing with ja’marr. the man has a Complex about joe and fashion and his part in it. we know this. i hardly need to go over the clothes saga with y’all again. but i will because it’s fun for me. ja’marr claims in GQ that he buys clothes for joe all the time and drops them off at 'the house’ for him. which is insane enough if that’s true. then a few days after that article drops (and also joe’s appendix explodes) he says nah never mind i was lying! (“kinda”). and that’s insane too. but whatever, we let it go, there’s football to play. then that offseason tee decides to cause some chaos i guess and confirms that actually ja’marr HAS bought joe clothes ‘multiple times’ so that’s. something!!! (along with TB in that one pivot podcast with all three of them teasing ja’marr about it!!) and then SOMEHOW none of this gets brought up again until a few months ago when ja’marr is just like “yeah actually i’ve been buying him clothes since last year” which is still a year later than he first said he bought him clothes 🤔

ALL OF WHICH TO SAY that ja’marr is fucking weird about this. he may or may not buy joe clothes (i’m still leaning yes on this), and he may or may not want people to know about it. i think he realizes just how intimate of a thing that is, to repeatedly buy someone you care about clothes that you think he would like, that you’d like to see him in. and i think if we go back to my Vision of insecure at times ja’marr, it’s one way to explain his back and forth on this.

but then!! insert kyle, who i believe only became joe’s stylist within the last year. before that i don’t think joe ever really had anyone Official to help him out with specific outfits/styles/branding etc (i’m sure the joe girlies will correct me if i'm wrong on this). and now i can only imagine that ja’marr might be feeling a little…possessive of joe here (what else is new lol ‘that’s my qb not their qb’ type shit). like if we believe he’s been buying him clothes since at least 2021, that’s like…that’s ja’marr’s Thing at this point?? even if it only started happening in 2023, that’s still a long time of "oh hey i saw this and thought of you and will you wear it and when you wear it will i feel a little thrill knowing that you took my advice knowing that you value my opinion knowing that the clothes touching your skin are only doing so because i bought them for you in the first place etc etc." and now here’s joe paying someone else to do it?? and who the fuck is kyle why him why does HE get to do it he didn’t even win a national championship with him in college???? (ja’marr obviously would be more rational than that. of course joe should pay someone to help him out with style as he does events and builds his brand more. but as a fellow Emotional Person myself, the rational response is never the first or strongest one.) 

so like! there’s that. that alone could make ja’marr not inclined to LOVE Kyle, ya know? and then if we want to get really Deep and dive into internalized homophobia of Male Athlete Culture. of my version (MY VERSION JUST MY VERSION THIS IS NOT ME SAYING ANYTHING IRL ABOUT HIM) of ja’marr and how he might cope with feelings and attractions that do not neatly fall in line with what is Expected of him and Has Been Expected of him since he was a kid. like fuck. do we remember how his dad said ja’marr used to like to read with his cousins (who were girls) but then his male friends came around and made fun of him for it, so he stopped reading altogether as a child?? thinking about that still makes my heart hurt! aughhh Gender!! and then even a few weeks ago on stream when ja’marr accidentally said that kyrie was sexy and IMMEDIATELY the chat and his friends jumped on him for it!! like yeah it was all lighthearted and all that but he got all embarrassed and even fucking apologized??? just the immediate policing of language/behavior followed by the immediate apology and moving on to no longer watching kyrie clips lol. crazy!!! Male Athlete Culture is SUCH a trip!! 

and kyle is gay! very much out and proud and not hiding or ashamed of any of it (fucking good for him tbh. i know he’s not Loved in this fandom but like that does genuinely take guts to be yourself like that in a culture like this. and make a career out of it! and he seems to be thriving!) and i just have to wonder like, how many queer people ja’marr really knows well?? the nfl has their corporate pride month bullshit where they celebrate the like 1 out gay assisant coach? 1 out gay FORMER player? if there are more queer people in the nfl, they are not very public about it. so again, how much daily interaction does a typical football player like ja’marr get with queer people?? i do imagine all the connections that are growing with the fashion world help of course! like kyle! who it’s clear he’s at least friendly with, if not the best of friends. and so like, i wonder about how that could stir complicated emotions in ja’marr if we go with my (AGAIN JUST MINE I’M NOT ACTUALLY SAYING ANYTHING IRL) version of him as a guy who has Feelings about male teammates sometimes and struggles with Dealing With That. 

and throw in the fact that ja’marr primarily knows him as this guy who’s always hanging around joe lol. taking over his role as joe’s personal stylist?? being free and open and ALLOWED to be attracted to all these guys, to joe himself!! (and if he thinks too hard about that he REALLY gets in his feelings). and it’s not jealousy really because he knows how important he himself is in joe’s life. kyle’s not replacing their history, he’s certainly not replacing his value to joe on the field, their close friendship, etc. but! he occupies a space in joe’s life that ja’marr can’t touch. he can publicly and proudly buy joe clothes. something that ja’marr WANTS but keeps shying away from. he can feel any feelings and any attraction he happens to have, he’s not hiding any part of who he is. if he thinks joe’s hot, if he thinks joe looks particularly attractive in an outfit he chose for him, he can! he will! he does! and i think that that just HAS to drive ja’marr a little fucking crazy.

so yeah. he likes the guy. they’re friendly. he’ll do a goofy lil dance when prompted by him for social media. but it’s Complicated. it’s Very Complicated. (to me.) 

[punkqs]

I'm trying to get the guy I like and it's going wrong (or maybe not)

nerdjo x punkguru

words: 2652

notes: maybe I'll write more about this AU

Geto quietly enters the library, closing the door carefully to avoid making any noise.

Alright, now he has to find his classmate, Gojo Satoru, and, on his teacher Yaga’s orders, tell him that he’s going to be his new private math tutor. He can’t help but feel a little embarrassed—Gojo will probably think he’s an idiot for struggling with simple equations involving numbers and letters, and that he’s wasting time teaching someone who wears so much eyeliner. But whatever. He’s only doing this to pass that devilish math course. That’s the only thing that matters.

He walks through the hallways, first passing by the history section, where there’s no one. So, he heads to the next section—literature—where there are two people, but neither is who he’s looking for. He keeps searching everywhere but can’t find him. Yaga said he’d be here, maybe he’s just looking in the wrong places, though he’s already searched every section… except for the physics section. He hopes he’s there, because honestly, he doesn’t want to search the whole school.

He steps into the hall, and there he is—Gojo, reading a book.

Well, this is it. He sighs, resigned, and walks up to him.

“Hey, Gojo.”

“Huh?” Gojo turns around, blinking, adjusts his glasses, and closes the book. “Oh, hey.”

“Sorry to interrupt. I don’t want to bother you—“

“No, no, it’s fine,” Gojo clears his throat and holds the book against his chest. “What’s up?”

“Well… you see… I need help with math, and Professor Yaga said you could help me.”

“Oh,” Gojo adjusts his glasses again. “Sure, no problem.”

Geto blinks.

“Really? You’ll help me?” He can’t help but smile a little.

“Of course.” Gojo laughs lightly. “So, when are you free?”

“Uh, maybe this weekend? Does that work for you?”

“Yeah, sure. How about we meet at the park near here, around noon?”

“Yes! Thanks so much. See you then.”

“See ya.”

Geto waves and walks off.

Well, that was easy. For a moment, he thought Gojo might refuse, but it went the opposite way. In fact, it was pretty nice. Now that he thinks about it, it’s the first time they’ve really talked. They’re in the same class, but they’ve never said anything to each other before. But whatever, that’s not important. Now he can rest easy.

Meanwhile, Gojo, who had stayed in the hallway, feels his breath return to normal. His face is burning, and his heart is pounding. He can’t believe Geto actually talked to him and that they’re going to spend time together—well, just for studying, but still, it’s something. He sighs, feeling like he’s living in a dream.

Since he can remember, Gojo Satoru has always had feelings for Geto Suguru.

The first time he saw him was when Geto entered the classroom: his black hair impeccably styled, his purple eyes accentuated with carefully applied eyeliner, the piercings on his eyebrow, and that damn lock of hair.

Geto sat next to him, and Gojo froze, not wanting to look at him directly. He didn’t want to seem like a freak. But it was pointless, because Geto glanced over at him while taking books out of his bag. To Gojo’s surprise, he smiled at him kindly. Gojo’s face turned bright red, and he hid behind his book, pretending to read, but really, he was dying inside.

Since then, the years passed with Gojo watching Geto from a distance, like a lovesick fool. Gojo excelled at everything—everything except social skills—so he had no idea how to approach Geto. Plus, it was no surprise that Geto was popular almost immediately.

Of course, Geto Suguru was incredible. It was clear everyone would love him.

So maybe this was Gojo’s only chance to get closer to him and at least try to become friends.

“What’s up with you? You’re distracted, and that’s not normal for you,” Sukuna said while skating next to Gojo as they walked out of school together.

“What are you talking about? I’m not distracted.”

“Yeah, right. I made a joke about Ijichi and you didn’t laugh.”

Gojo rolls his eyes.

“Maybe the joke was so bad that I didn’t find it funny.”

“It can’t be because you laugh at anything that’s about Ijichi.”

Gojo grumbles and walks faster, but Sukuna, on his skateboard, keeps following him.

“You know I’m not going to leave until you tell me—”

Then Gojo shoves Sukuna and runs off. Sukuna falls to the ground, but he quickly gets up, realizing Gojo has already disappeared. Great, next time Gojo will pay for this.

Gojo throws his backpack down somewhere and flops onto his bed. Well, he really doesn’t want to tell Sukuna about being Geto’s tutor. If he found out, he’d never let Gojo live it down. It might sound a bit dramatic, but Sukuna knows about Gojo’s one-sided crush on Geto, and if he knows Gojo’s going to be his private tutor, he’ll torment him for the rest of his life. Gojo’s not about to let that happen.

But now he just has to survive the weekend. It’ll be easy.

It wasn’t easy.

Avoiding Sukuna was a real challenge. In fact, he’s getting paranoid now, looking around nervously. Then, just as he’s lost in his thoughts, he accidentally bumps into someone.

“Oh, sorry!”

Gojo’s heart starts to race… or maybe he’s just having a panic attack, but he hopes it’s the latter.

“Su… Geto?” he stammers, his heart hammering.

“Uh… yeah, I… caught your glasses before they fell. Sorry about that. Here.”

Gojo feels Geto’s warm hand as he passes him his glasses, and he thinks he might melt. He quickly puts them on.

“Don’t worry, I should have been paying more attention to where I was going.” Gojo rubs his neck, trying to calm himself. Now that he can see better, he notices the eyeliner, with hints of purple.

Damn it, he’s going to die.

“You’re so careless, Geto,” comes a voice from nearby.

Both of them turn. It’s Shoko, Geto’s close friend, and she’s smiling at Gojo. She exchanges a few glances with Geto, then laughs softly and says goodbye to Gojo before walking off.

“Sorry, I’ve got class with Shoko, and we’re already running late. So… weekend, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Gojo says quickly.

“Alright, see you then,” Geto waves and walks off.

Gojo is left standing there, his heart racing, feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

The weekend finally arrives, and Gojo can’t stop feeling nervous. As he packs the math books into his bag, he keeps reminding himself that this is just a study session, not a date. He needs to relax so he doesn’t mess it up.

When he heads out the door, he ignores the employees asking where he’s going or when he’ll be back. He opens the door, not bothering to close it, and heads to the park.

He’s the first one to arrive, which is good. He stands by the entrance, smoothing his hair, trying to calm his nerves. He needs to act casual, or he’ll embarrass himself in front of Geto.

“Hey, Gojo.”

He hears Geto’s voice from a distance and turns around so quickly that his neck hurts, but it doesn’t matter. It’s Geto, and he looks… as gorgeous as always. Gojo can’t help but smile.

“Hey, G-Geto.”

“Got everything—notebooks, books, calculator, and a ton of pencils,” Geto says when he reaches Gojo. “Is that enough?”

“It’s more than enough,” Gojo says, sounding like an idiot. He clears his throat and tries to focus. “Shall we go in?”

They head to a bench to study, sitting across from each other. They spend quite a while on math, and it seems to be paying off.

“You did great, Geto.”

“Really? It wasn’t so bad this time.”

“Because practice makes perfect. If you don’t practice, you’ll fail. But don’t worry. For your first session, you did great,” Gojo praises him, and Geto smiles, warming Gojo’s heart. “Do you want to take a break?”

“Yeah, please,” Geto says, pushing the books aside. “I can’t process another number.”

Gojo puts a few notebooks back in his bag, and then he notices that Geto is staring at him, making him nervous. He wonders if there’s something on his face.

“Is something wrong?”

“Uh…” Geto adjusts in his seat. “Actually, I wanted to ask something…”

“Ask me something?” Gojo doesn’t expect this. “Sure.”

“Yeah, well…” Geto plays with his fingers, which Gojo finds endearingly adorable. “I’ve noticed that studying doesn’t seem to be difficult for you, no offense, but it seems like you’re not even trying and you’re always the first to turn in the exam sheet…” Oh, so he’s observant. “So, I wanted to ask… Are you a genius? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, it’s just that it’s a doubt that almost everyone in the class has” he hurries to clarify.

Gojo laughs and Geto waits for a response.

“Well, yeah, I am”.

“Oh…” he looks at Gojo as if he really hadn’t seen him before. “Shoko owes me 10 yen”.

“Wait, did you guys bet?”

“Uh…” Geto shrugs slightly, looking a bit embarrassed. “She started it and couldn’t back down… Sorry?”

Gojo laughs again.

“Don’t worry about it, but at least I expect half the money”.

Now Geto laughs too, although he doesn’t think he said anything funny, but it doesn’t matter, as long as Geto is laughing and he’s happy.

And well, things were going really well, too well to be true, until someone called out his name. And of course, for Gojo’s bad luck, someone had to interrupt him and it was none other than…

“Sukuna” Gojo says between his teeth.

“I didn’t think you’d be around here…” he looks at Gojo and then slowly looks at Geto, then looks back at Gojo and smiles in a macabre way, and Gojo just wants to make him disappear from the face of the earth. “And Geto, what a surprise”.

He approaches and sits down next to Gojo, intentionally pushing him a bit.

“Uh, hi, Sukuna” despite everything, Geto smiles, sensing a bit of tension between the two.

“Sukuna, don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Gojo narrows his eyes.

“Well…” Sukuna pretends to think, putting his hand on his chin. “No” and smiles, showing his teeth.

“I thought you’d be with Uraume” Gojo counterattacks with a smile.

Sukuna had been in love with Uraume for a long time, one of the reasons why they have a minimum of mutual understanding. So far, Sukuna and Uraume were just good friends, but it seems he touched a sensitive nerve because Sukuna frowned.

“Them has other things to do”.

If looks could kill, Gojo would probably already be dead.

Geto looks at the exchange between Gojo and Sukuna, wondering what their relationship is. At school, everyone knows that Gojo and Sukuna are a kind of rivals, always competing for the top spot in the class, he thought maybe they didn’t get along, but it seems it’s not entirely true. So, in silence, he packs up his things, and when he’s done, he looks at them, they’re still arguing, maybe it’s time to leave, although he would have liked to spend a little more time with Gojo…

Geto gets up and clears his throat, trying to get his attention, which he manages to do.

“Uh, I’m leaving, I don’t want to interrupt… whatever it is you’re doing” and says in a low voice. “I guess I’ll see you later, Gojo”. And he leaves.

Gojo panics and Sukuna seems victorious for achieving his goal, but he won’t let that happen, so he gets up and rushes over.

“Wait, Geto!”

Geto stops and turns around.

“Yeah?”

“I… Sorry about that, it’s just that Sukuna is…” annoying, pesky, unbearable is what he would have liked to say. “A special case, dealing with him sometimes is… well, sorry if you felt uncomfortable”.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I really didn’t think you and Sukuna were good friends” and he shrugs.

Gojo blinks, the way he said it sounded a bit weird, but maybe he’s just overthinking.

“He’s an idiot” Gojo downplays it and sees Geto laugh slightly, apparently as a bit of encouragement. “And also, we haven’t coordinated when your next class will be” he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, he’s starting to get nervous.

“Ah, that’s true” Geto thinks for a few seconds and then takes his phone out of his pocket. “How about we exchange phone numbers? That way we can coordinate”.

“Uh, ah… Yeah, sure!” And Gojo smiles like an idiot. After exchanging numbers, Geto promises to text or call him.

“See you soon, Gojo” he smiled warmly and walked away.

“Y-yeah, me too!” Well, time to shut up, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

He has Suguru Geto’s phone number.

“So you were trying to keep me from knowing you were seeing Geto? You’re quite the Romeo, Gojo” said Sukuna, who suddenly appeared at his side.

Gojo shook his head.

“I’m just his math teacher.”

He kept his eyes on where Geto had gone, he sure looked ridiculous, but don’t blame him, he’s just a man in love.

“Mmm, I guess it’ll do you good, the good thing is that you made a very good impression —and he laughed.”

“Don’t even think about interrupting us next time.”

“Oh, I don’t promise anything…”

Gojo punched Sukuna in the stomach, then turned around and walked away.

As Gojo headed home, he received a text from Geto. Excited, he replied and hoped that this was the start of a friendship or, if he allowed himself to dream big, something more.

[annalacerda17]

So, I was thinking about how it seems like a huge part of the MDZS fandom has really poor reading comprehension, and I came to the conclusion that that's true, but also, that CQL is partly to blame for rampant misinterpretation of several characters. I think people who came to this fandom through CQL and only read the book afterwards (or not at all) are more likely to have formed certain opinions that are very different from what the book says.

When it comes to CQL, I think basically the entire pre-timeskip part of it is a mess. First off, the relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng is totally different. CQL insisted on inserting Jiang Cheng in places where he wasn't needed, they made up that disgusting romance between him and Wen Qing - like, book! Wen Qing wouldn't spare him a second glance. She literally saw him throwing tantrums left and right like a total toddler for a while, and she'd never consider him a potential love interest, she saw right through the pretentious prick- and to me that's made all the more horrific when we consider their actual relationship in the book: Wen Qing saved Jiang Cheng's life after Wen Ning had already taken huge risks to rescue him and she helped him hide and evade the Wens, she gave him medical care, which is already a huge favor if we don't take into account the core-transfer surgery, which Jiang Cheng didn't know Wen Qing was a the surgeon of (he did know, however, that Wei Wuxian was the one who helped him get a new golden core, so he doesn't get a pass there). But in return, Jiang Cheng refused to help her and her people after the war, and worse, he joined hands with the Jin sect in order to destroy his savior and her people. But CQL inserted a romance there????

Still on Wen Qing, CQL made her somewhat complicit - even if reluctantly so - in Wen Rouhan's evil schemes by making her go to the Cloud Recesses as a Spy. This plot didn't exist in the book at all. But what this does is to blame her for how the sects treated the Wen remnants after the war. This muddies the waters in a truly terrible way,when in the book it's very clear who is the victim and who are the perpetrators.

Then, there's the actor who played Jiang Cheng, and I don't know if he just chose how he wanted to act this character or if he was instructed to act this way, but the Jiang Cheng in CQL very strange. I think they interpreted the character as that misunderstood poor baby that his stans think he is, and that's how he is portrayed in all of the CQL-only scenes. But when he appears in a scene that's from the novel, he is portrayed as he is in the novel - a selfish, self-centered, angry, and violent man. So I can see how someone who first met this character in CQL might've come out of it confused about what this character is like, because the Jiang Cheng portrayed in CQL is inconsistent.

CQL definitely played up the "friendship" between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, which was mostly done in the beginning, before the sects' disciples were made into hostages by the Wens. Up until that point, their relationship is portrayed like a normal friendship and when Jiang Yanli is inserted, it sometimes does look like a brotherhood. Especially in the Cloud Recesses arc and later when they go chase the pieces of Yin Tiger Tally. However, that's not how their relationship is portrayed in the novel, and that whole arc of chasing the Yin Tiger Tally is non-existent, because in the novel it's Wei Wuxian who creates the Yin Tiger Tally, and it works differently from what's shown in CQL anyway. In fact, everything about Wei Wuxian's cultivation is completely different in CQL.

Then, after Lotus Pier was attacked, we stared to get a few glimpses of book Jiang Cheng. But even then it was mixed with a lot of crying and toddler like tantrums that even the book version of Jiang Cheng - who also loves to play the victim no matter how unreasonable it might be - would feel embarrassed.

Only at the first siege of the burial mounds do we get a more book like version of Jiang Cheng - a murderous asshole - and even that is framed in an ambiguous way. Like, remember that scene in CQL where Wei Wuxian falls down that cliff? A lot of people thought Jiang Cheng had hit the stone (with his sword) on purpose, and that he hadn't meant to kill Wei Wuxian. Now, I personally think it's quite obvious that Jiang Cheng was, in fact, trying to kill Wei Wuxian, and the book tells us that that's what he did during the first siege of the burial mounds, although that didn't involve a cliff, but I also think that for someone whose first contact with this character came from CQL, they might look at this and think of that first part of the story, where their "friendship" was played up a lot, and then look at the actors crying face, and reach the wrong conclusion. I think the portrayal of Jiang Cheng is awful. The actor only showed 2 expressions throughout: moderately happy or angry-crying. That can make it difficult for the audience to discern what emotion they are supposed to see there.

Then, by the end, they inserted that line where Jiang Cheng thinks of Wei Wuxian and says "live well" with a nostalgic smile on his face. Where did that come from????

Moving on, CQL is also responsible for spreading the idea that Wei Wuxian had depression or that he was suicidal. This i don't think is the fault of the actor, because he was clearly told to act this way. But CQL tried to make the story a lot more angsty in general, maybe to make up for the lack of an explicit romance. Although I have to give them credit for making sure everyone who watched it knew without a shadow of doubt that wangxian was a couple, despite censorship.

CQL also downplayed Wei Wuxian's genius. This to me was a poor choice. I understand that they had to make some changes when it came to Wei Wuxian's cultivation because of censorship, but I'm sure they could've done it ia a way that didn't take away his accomplishments.

Another thing that I blame CQL for is the abominable existence of the XiYao ship, or at least for it's popularity. First, they inserted Jin Guangyao into the Cloud Recesses arc, then they played up all of his interactions with Lan Xichen, and framed it how we would typically see a romantic couple's relationship develop in most dramas. I think this gave a lot of viewers the idea that Jin Guangyao liked Lan Xichen first, but then became corrupt as the story progressed. However, in the book, Jin Guangyao had been manipulating and using Lan Xichen from the beginning. Their relationship has much more of a sinister feel to it from the beginning in the books.

Anyway, right now I can't think of any other problem brought into the fandom by CQL, but I'm sure there's a lot more. My brain is tired now, so I'll stop here.