#but I guess I had so much to say so uh
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i have no explanation for this
#james fitzjames#og james fitzjames#the terror#my drawings#the terror dan simmons#historical james fitzjames#i guess???#the franklin expedition#now this was a few months ago#but i think the idea was#that franklin & fitzjames look like the kind of guys who would be absolutely crazy about Nutella#nevermind that it hadn’t been invented yet#and uh#this happened#the terror fanart#james fitzjames fanart#drawn in a moment of sleep deprivation induced madness#that’s really all i can say for myself#imagine how much it would suck to be in your early thirties on your very first arctic expedition (that you thought would be a breeze)#and now suddenly you’re in charge (because your boss died)#(possibly both his bosses— we don’t know!)#and it’s really just a no win situation all around#like yeah you signed up for this#and you were so sure it would be a good time that you got several of your friends to sign up with you#so there’s absolutely no one to blame but yourself#but how could you know it would be this bad#no other expedition here (as far as i know) ever had a 100% fatality rate#but i guess there always has to be a first#(but why did you have to be the first?)#you know?
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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#nate shelley#Ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#I can't express how much I hate the glasses guy and Disco that nodded along (guess he's divorced three times for a reason uh?)#Nate you absolute brilliant idiot low self esteem man you invited fucking Rupert???#What the fuck do you think he could say to you? Mansplain Manwhore and Love bomb your new love interest around#till the break and become dependent from you?#The Diamond dogs 2.0 is a failure#Nate I love you but this is your fault babe#You literally had this coming#and guess who destroyed he's previous safe place so now he's trying to recreate a new one in the wrong place?#Nick Mohammed
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geralt is also a most real depiction of good quality fatherhood and great girldad representation because EVEN THOUGH witchers don’t even experience aging at the same rate as non-GMO humans, EVEN THOUGH it would be “biologically impossible,”
geralt having had been raising a pre-teen girl for maybe a few months to a year already “gave the impression of having aged,” his “face slashed by wrinkles.” the emotional toll on this man from raising she-devil ciri
and this is only the very beginning of the saga. BEFORE everything goes to shit. the wrinkles have set in
#i know this is description is colored by triss’… [sighs] aroused… point of view#but the lines in the second screenshot are such a good description of him come on 🥺#same with when cahir sees ciri then him at thanedd#it’s not canon but please also apply to yennefer post-thanedd 🙏#can you imagine geralt and yennefer reuniting at stygga castle and yennefer only got even more MILFy#sorry. who said that#it’s actually surprising that when geralt frees her from her shackles#we don’t get a paragraph about how he was down bad. not the time geralt but you know he would be thinking ‘ravishing’#meanwhile yennefer is covered in blood and bruises and her hands are fucked from torture and geralt’s still adoring her beauty#yennefer: at her most undignified | geralt: i would worship her#yes yes i know they were defeated and horribly empty at stygga castle#but i’m just saying despite it all the love and attraction persisted. despite IT ALL#you know like they changed so much and got even more fucked up and traumatized#well i’m just raising my hand to say well also they also got sexier.#actually fuck it remember she appears like a titaness for a brief moment. her short queen REALNESS#like i do think geralt deciding to split up is what further doomed the hanza (they were already doomed but you know)#(it was very scooby doo of him to do that)#(on the way there) angoulême sees stygga on the cliffside jutting out above the lake: what?! that creepy castle… nuh-uh…#milva: … would you do it for a bump of fisstech? | angoulême: … | milva: two bumps of fisstech?#um anyways#i was going to say that once geralt freed yennefer it was OVERRR for vilgefortz and skellen and co#BOOO you were all fucked. woman unleashed#remember when bonhart attacks yennefer it is like a lion and a panther in the cell#geralt just unleashed the panther on them#they really should have had yennefer under stronger security like i guess vilgefortz’ misogyny really was the death of him#that is also kind of true because he dies because of geralt’s amulet from fringilla#so it was literally because of several women and a girl and also a vampire that he triumphs#you know when you put dandelion with a group of women it feels like a fox in a henhouse. even if said fox is stupid and gets kicked#however putting regis with a group of women is something like the angel that appeared to mary#the elbow-high diaries
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woag was just going into settings to look through my asks and apparently i lost like over 100 followers somewhere in the past like week or two????????????? i mean im not upset, my posts and art suck ass and idk why anyone follows me to begin with and nobody is obligated to stay but im just really confused if i did something now
#like i was literally just feeling relly weird and uncomfortable about having a decent amount of followers#bc like this is my personal blog so a lot of my more personal posts that i dont want people other than my close friends seeing often get-#seen by other people too and i hate it#and i just got an ask that someone was unfollowing me bc they saw my post where i mentioned sh and i felt really guilty for like bringing-#that back up for them but also it was worded pretty rudely and like i added several tw tags but they said they only had cw tags blocked#so uh yeah really sorry to that anon#but yeah just another instance of people seeing my posts too much#i feel very watched every time i post things and i really fucking hate it#and to be clear im not like mad at people for following me thatd be really fucking weird like im super grateful for all the amazing people-#who stick around despite all my bullshit but also i really want to disappear off the face of the earth because of how many people see mposts#scribbles says shit#tw vent#i guess#just in case
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Was looking into this person's eyes or rather it felt as if he looked into my eyes ... up close and in such an open and soft way.
It was something
#thank you to vavie for making me do the meet and greet#he was like....deeply listening to what i said...maybe? or maybe thinking about something completely different lol but in any case seemed#acutely oresent#i'm not sure what I actually said#he mentioned that RTC was gonna be on hulu#i only realized afterward that this might mean that its gonna be on disney+ in europe!!!!!! 🌷#which would be cool#i hope i didnt make too much of a fool of myself? 🤔#at the end I kinda thought about what else i was gonna say and told him that i had written down some thoughts on my hand and he was like ...#...“like talking points”#at the end he said my name again which i guess is a nice touch thanks to the organisation of the whole thing#well it was a nice touch but also...#between that and him getting lost in my eyes uh me getting lost in his....like#🫠😵💫#it's just an intense couple of seconds of my stupid life i guess?#he looked....so good#dd#duchovny#txf#xfiles
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Thoughts about Gabriel ultrakill and the heavenly council
okay okay okay okay okay so
i’m assuming this is referring to the tags i rbed that one post with so. youngings avert your eyes maybe idk how deranged i’ll get while typing this
gabriel ultrakill has such an impossible appeal to me and i’m going to attempt to put it into words
first of all. look at him. he’s so fucking pretty it’s insane have you seen that guy he’s beautiful in a way i can’t wrap my head around
he acts the way he acts he gets beat for the first time ever literalky ever by a machine and falls in love with it but mistakes that love for hatred and then when he reports back to the council they blame him for getting his ass handed to him like hello ???? you can’t just do that to him this is not what this post is supposed to be about im getting off topic
the way he acts his character his flow hsi jehevrnrgehrgrgrhuuuuuggaggggggggghh he triggers such a primal carnal desire within me that i’ve not felt my entire life until i witnessed him do you fucking grasp how much just how much i need to just be Near him do you understand how much i want to just hold his hand or to grab his stupid tiny little waist i want to place my hands on him in any kind of way okease oh my god please i need to cling to him i NEED to watch him do common normal things like twisting a doorknob or tie a knot oh my god i need to see him tie a knot you know how you have to pull the strings taut i need ti see him di that i need to see him lift something slightly heavy i need to watch him throw something into the air and catch it or alternatively i need to see him almost not catch it and do that jolt thing people do when they almost drop something to catch it i need to see him do that i need ti see him grip something i need to watch him stand up from a sitting position i need to watch him forget the direction he’s supposed to be going in and then do that weird pause and glance around before turning around and speed walking in the opposite direction i need to see him pick up a spherical object and watch the way his hands wrap around it i need to watch him reach around to try and grab something slightly out of reach
i need to jump on him i need to cling to him i need to climb all over that guy i need to feel the ridge of his spine i need to watch his adam’s apple shift as he swallows or speaks i need to watch his throat do that when it’s like you know when you lean your head back and the skin over your neck is pulled taut and the movement of yiur throat is much more significant i need to see him do that i need to watch him preen his wings i would collect his shed feathers and keep them in a little box or put them on a necklace and he’d be like Why Do You Have Those and i’d be like 😊😊😊😊😊😊 i think his wings are so fucking pretty i also think they’d be warm like they change temp depending on his mood notmally they’d be relatively warm like a heated blanket enraged they’d be like the temp of the surface of the sun and ecstasy they’d be even hotter donyou get me
there are so many things i think about him i have no words for them i just think he’s so catastrophically attractive ok in every way possible my view on him varies all the time sometimes i’m like Wow I’d Really Like To Be Friends With That Guy and other times i’m like I NEED HIM IN ME ummmmmm thats
okay getting only slightly more unhinged i’ll cut it here just in case cause we’re enterying hornypost territory
do you understand the amount of lust my body contains for gabriel ultrakill i would love to be pinned down by that guy by the shoulders or to have his hand run along the length of my spine or against my jaw i need to press my body up against his i don’t care how i just need to Touch him i NEED to hear that archangel whimper (<- listened to the gabriel whimpering audio clips 67 times) i need that guy down my throat uhhhhmmmmmm yeah i’m cutting that one short it seems my rational mind has finally kicked in
have fun reading my category 7 autism event
#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#oopsies !#haha unmmmmm#that’s okay#suggestive#i’d add more tags but#uh#| okay i had to edit all tags from this one forward in because someone walked in my room as i was typing#and i frantically hit post to get it off my screen#as i was saying#id ad more tags but this little tangent here absorbed so much of my brains ability to describe things#but hey#if i have another wet dream about gabriel tonight i’ll keep you guys posted j guess#i’m sorry#matryx speaks#mail
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#supposed to log good things#most of day was negative feelings and sadness#then. i remember feeling good#and then. tthe good went away#rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing#the feelings of undesirability#the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me#that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting#do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful#pictures get a lot of praise#sometimes#less so lately#maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off#maybe seeing how broken i am#such a shambling wailing mess of a girl#....has made people realize how ugly i am#i don't know. its hard to care most nights#I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings#i don't usually#I used to#now i just feel..... dead inside#like a walking corpse#some part of me wants to make that reality#sigh.#anyway.#im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far#it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol#.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so#....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week
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Just taking a stroll on the cliffside with poppies around, not a care in the world.
#hermitcraft#desert duo#grian#gtws#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft fanart#mcyt#yes the first piece of art i post here in ages and it's hermitcraft. thought it'd be good omens but i always forget how to draw A&C lmao#this started out as a doodle. then i added dramatic lighting and had to figure out a background. so that happened#was always bad at painting backgrounds with grass and sky so UH figured it out as i went i guess#could i fix this up? yeah probably. but if i keep putting off posting this i never will. been a couple days already so. have at it#cut it into 3 versions with different compositions. because i'm extra like that (and bo made me realize it looked good horizontally too)#carime rambles#ALSO. I love these new brushes so much. SO much fun. and my painting one makes clouds INCREDIBLY easy. can't say 'expect more art' but also#this isn't meant to be anywhere specific btw. i just painted whatever fit the scene.#my art#grian is SO grumpy here. fills me with joy
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This morning, my therapist called me to let me know she's setting up her own practice via telehealth (which is what we were using Anyways) & asked me whether I'd want to follow her there. She still has to set stuff up with insurance stuff But her out of pocket stuff is like HALF what I've been paying out of pocket for the company she was in. So I was like, Hell Yeah let's do it
So im gonna keep up with appointments, maybe once a month or so, just so I have the accountability + the ability to ramble about what I've achieved. Bc that's been rly nice for me. I'll have my therapist back!!!! And better than ever, if only because I have to pay so much less for it 😂😂😂
And ALSO, today I put in my course request for the orchestra into the form. So different from just two weeks ago, where I was practically begging to be given a chance to audition. I was sitting in the same spot of the lobby even, but putting in my official orchestra request instead of sending an email as I vibrated in hope and anxiety. I Got It tho. And the class won't even be that late in the day. It's really exciting.
#speculation nation#also general bonding with friends etc etc. very nice.#it's like. my day took a real turn for the better. my gender communication class was covering relationships today#including abusive relationships and how people express love.#the abusive relationships one had me like. actively a little uncomfortable hfkshfkd not like it was BAD bc it's important to teach the signs#but especially when it came to the Volatility sign i was just like. yup. uh huh. yeah. yup. hfksbfmsbc#because it. hit Real close to home for That One shitty relationship way back when#most days i forget i was in an abusive relationship And Then I Remember.........#anyways thankfully we didn't have a discussion over that. but we Did have a discussion over how often we say 'i love you'#professor was asking for a numerical estimate. and some people were saying like 5 or 6 times a day#meanwhile me realizing i only ever really say that to family (human-wise). and i only see or talk to family every so often.#but i say it a lot to my cats. a Lot. theyre my babies. i love them so much.#so i got kind of stressed and overwhelmed thinking about how the most i say is like 'ilu' but only to like one friend and only rarely.#even in romantic relationships i havent said it for the most part. bc it's mostly not been true and i Dont Like To Lie.#so i got to thinking about Why and had a thing of 'am i heartless??' etc etc. but i think i really am emotionally distant#which i think stems from the fact that i dont trust much of Anyone to be in my life long-term besides family#and the only non family i feel comfortable Sometimes saying this kind of thing to is someone ive been friends with for nearly 8 years now.#so i guess i trust that theyll be here longterm. so i feel less anxiety about expressing it.#my friends told me that they see i still care tho in the ways i act and try to take care of them.#so. not heartless. i just struggle with telling people how i feel.#hfmahfmshfms so yeah bit of a weird day but it got better!!!! and now i am. chilling.#gonna play more sims 2. yes.#abuse ment/
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kinda realised that suzie/the mages convo in 2x06 is similar to the brotzly on in 2x07
#todd haters dni ur not welcome here#they both stem partly from selfish reasons (on todds end- suzie /is/ 100% selfish she wants power/to be queen)#todds putting his own goal (finding amanda) on the side to help dirk- WHICH HE DID#but similar format i guess? like the mage/dirk give up because they lose/lost and suzie/todd is like??? uh?? no?? im gonna keep at it#and mage/suzie arent friends so theres not much connection or meaningful disappointment to be had mage is just a loser to suzie cause he is#but dirk and todd are friends and todd did put his shit on the side to help#todds right- friends help each other so i get the frustration of dirk refusing to do any of it#even if it wasnt 100% at the best time for todd to say it- but like it wasnt out of nowhere#and he wasnt being abusive or callous hes in a fucked situation for the past 2 months trying to keep dirk inspired for the past week#like its not just dirk and its not a competition on whose feelings are more valid theres no nobility in suffering#i will defend 2x07!todd till the ends of the earth
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Yuri's dialogue (JP) is so fascinating to study, like... the repetitive use of certain words/phrases that others use sparingly but he uses constantly. the way it feels like his vocabulary is more expansive than what he uses, but he defaults to a "comfort" level of speech. the way it mixes in with his sort of "street talk" words and the sheer level of informality. the way his "street talk" phrasing is contrasted by the tone of his voice (on that note, people I know who also know JP are also very endeared by these aspects of him so I KNOW IT'S NOT JUST ME!!!).
'cause the thing is, he uses phrases that yeah, other people do use, but he uses a handful over and over and over (contrast to other characters' sparing use of repetition). it's actually... really refreshing? it sounds more relatable and less "video game/anime/JRPG/RPG" writing or something, idk. like closer to how a real person would speak.
I do my best in my translations not to make things sound too stiff across the board, but Yuri makes it so easy. it's why I'm so interested in translating all his lines in Vesperia, like... the actual, original tone for him with his original wording because it's smth Eng only players don't get to experience ('cause even if you listen with JP audio, if you don't know the language, ofc you're gonna miss out on context. it's nobody's fault for not knowing, just... they unfortunately miss out). the thing is, there are a lot of times when the lines in and of themselves are not contextually incorrect in the English ver (usually the situation for smaller scenes, because they altered the text outright for more important stuff which was the stuff that originally set me off, but there were also plenty of cases of just vocal tone shifting with the correct context that still gave off the wrong impression), but Yuri's tone is shifted away from the original in Eng even though it's completely and perfectly translatable.
I am by no means about to translate the entire game because let's face it, I really don't care that much for Vesperia on the whole. I'm kinda stuck with it because Yuri's there lo and behold I actually am WAY more engaged in his stories in Rays, Link and Asteria because it's an amazing character put into circumstances where he actually gets to shine and feels more alive, which Vesperia did not provide nearly as well with its very disjointed story. also, Tales gachas have banger stories that are arguably better than the mainline games, and they regularly make Yuri a very central character to the gachas. Crestoria was also about to do it until they pulled the plug on that game and I'm pretty confident something interesting has been lost to the world. also I just generally don't have the energy or motivation to do that, so... I'll only be focusing on Yuri's lines, especially because his stuff is where the bulk of the messing around was. he's just insanely fun to translate for and I love burying myself head first into his speech.
will I actually finish this project? dunno. will I get around to posting it? whatever I get done (so all of it if I complete it), and if I decide to call it quits then I'll post what I have at the time I decide that. will it take a long time? probably, but I can always mention stuff along the way...
#GTF Vesperia Things#GTF Yuri Things#also the more I comb the script the more I properly notice all the uh... very awkward loc changes in smaller sentences in smaller scenes#like things that change the understanding of a sentence. or in Yuri's case just... the usual annoying personality shifting#noticing lots more stuff than when I did those big posts bc I was less focused on the tiny stuff/not side by side comparing#like a lot of this stuff is plot irrelevant and I knew it was littered around but I'm just getting#a bit more of a proper feel for it and how often it's there while studying Yuri's speech under a microscope bc I like observing him fkjhsjg#the fact that they're extremely largely consistent in tampering with Yuri's verbal (not just vocal) tone still has me LIKE.#but I'm fighting to ignore it so I can study my precious boy for reasons unknown beyond hyperfixation#also with Link I was actually mad at first bc they totally dropped the ball on Yuri's repetitive speech in arc 1. like it just wasn't there#there were plenty of times I noticed that normally he'd be SAYING those phrases but it just didn't happen where it should've#(like ''he'd def have said that here but it's not here'') Rays' main writer was not Vesperia's and she STILL got him down PERFECTLY#frankly I'd argue Rays' writing of Yuri is more correctly Yuri than Vesperia Yuri is which is oddly hilarious LOL#but mainly more that arc 2 Yuri is fucking WONKY sometimes but god knows most of my friends who know JP don't like that writer for#various reasons. somehow he pulled out that banger of a novel but arc 2 forget it. but yeah Rays just... really encapsulated YURI himself#the dialogue for him is spot on. not that Link and Asteria flunked with him bc they didn't#it's just that I think Rays and Miyajima gave the best quality of him bc the circumstances let him be more expressive#that said back to Link arc 2 did actually fix the speech issue so I don't know if they had different writers between arcs or just#realized they forgot to include those points of his character in arc 1 bc I know it wasn't the Link loc's fault#bc Yuri had full JP audio and I could hear that they just didn't have those things#but LORD the ACTUAL RELIEF that flooded me when arc 2 brought that shit back LMAOOOO#but yeah as far as Yuri goes he's absolutely fascinating and unique and he shines so bright in the gachas#it makes me really really sad that his home game is one I don't have much interest in#and that it's one that a lot of ppl feel the writing was wonky for (bc it was)#but I'm eternally grateful the gachas gave him opportunities to really shine as a character in great settings#bc it's not that he doesn't shine in Vesp itself. it's that the circumstances don't rly... allow him to be like PROPERLY unrestrained ig?#idk it's hard to explain. just. he was more. WHOOSH. I guess. in the gachas. yeah. like that. or smth. :')#sorta like. amazing character but not the best circumstances for him to show his true potential which I think he does in the gachas#bc the gachas have such great stories and scenarios and he's put into them#ANYWAY TL;DR YURI'S SPEECH IS FASCINATING AND I LOVE HIM
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reading springfest now after everything in nagazora is making me crave more fu hua and mei interactions. i feel like thus far in my go through, i've never actually seen them interact, but it's kinda fun that the person who made the recommended reading order put springfest after nagazora (though of course this is probably in preparation for whatevers going on with senti/fu hua rn in ch 19)
but the way that the empyrea isolates herself so she doesn't have any attachment to those who she will outlive and how she winds up becoming lonely as a result threw me back to mei isolating herself in world serpent so that she can protect kiana and just... idk..... i think the two talk about that isolation would be interesting
also. i love fu hua. she's still at the top of my list for best character so i'm just a happy little guy getting more fu hua content now in the story :> yippee fu hua
#idk who to ramble to about honkai so hi#avil plays hi3#ill probably liveblog my thoughts as i read through springfest and UH#blade of the empyrean!#but im excited :> then after that i gotta go through the 7 blades visual novel ^7^ that one has sushang!! i havent met her in the game yet#but i do have her !!!#its kinda interesting though because sushangs ultimate in hi3 is yanqing's ultimate in hsr. or i guess yanqing as a boss???#idk. so im like HMMMMMMMM WHATS UP THERE WHATS GOING ON#i wonder if theres a character sorter for hi3 actually#if i had to say who my top 5 are atm for honkai#its probably like fu hua mei kiana kevin and sakura ???#kiana is so easy. like if i loved oz vessalius how could i NOT love kiana we sure love vessel characters LJSHDFLASKDHFLAKSH#maybe its also recency effect though for mei but also. characters who isolate thinking that its the best htey could do to protect#like NO YOU IDIOT GET LOVED!!!!! GET L O V E D#they kinda get me#AND WELT I FORGOT WELT HOW COULD I DO THAT......#i feel like welt over kevin tbh#but thats super hard to say on my end alkdjfha#YOU KNOW i wouldve also said rita because i think rita is so fun#but i still dotn know enough about her#but personality wise i think shes so funny in a very stereotypical anime villain esque way LOL#also she is so catty too like what was she doing picking a fight with natasha LKAJHDLAFKJSDFH#OH I ALSO LOVE RITA AND NATASHA...#tbh i havent run into a character that i absolutely Hate in honkai yet....#at least not that i remember#if i hated them i probably forgot about them LMAOOOOO#like even durandal? i love durandal in the manga. she doesnt really stand out to me MUCH yet in the game but i loved her a lot in the manga#but for me durandal is low on the list for now. but that doesnt mean i dislike her i think shes cool but just hasnt done anything in#particular that caught my attention yet alskjdfahl#rambling WHOOPS ASLKJDFA
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happy art fight month to everyone participating (very fun)! anyhow time to post strange moon art on main :)
#rain world#looks to the moon#anyhow uh i had fun#as always all my art is better once i get to explain what i was thinking so uh hit me up i guess otherwise uh#wohoo#hope everyones good having a lovely dy and all that#also guys i just learned abou thte tsag web weving and having a great time. very fun media for stuff veery cool!!#we are listning tooooo rush by troye sivan#hm didnt have to much to say this time huh
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Hey guys. gay rights
#i already made the sonic one a while bc yknow. kinnie stuff youve all seen my blog theme#but then i was wearing my Fearless Year of Shadow(tm) shirt along with it and my irl bff was like.#'why are you wearing a sonic bracelet with that shirt if you love shadow so much 🤨' *#(he doesnt know much about sth stuff but ive infodumped abt shadow and his backstory to him many times)#and i was like 😭😭 BECAUSE I DONT HAVW A SHADOW KANDI BUT I WANNA MAKE ONE. I WILL SOON#so. now i do!! taking my ad/derall on the weekends always make me want to make more kandi. its great!#and yknow what else it makes me want to do...... talk more on here >:3333#me and my dad are gonna go to a local jazz festival this afternoon bc our jazz combo is playing at it!!#itll be fun. my dad said hes gonna get some food from this really good breakfast place on the way thwre#which is not the best part. the best part is outside the shop there is a wonderful kitty cat who hangs around the parking lot#bc hes owned by the ppl who own the bar right next door#its so great. everybody knows him (the cat) and loves him. the v/ape shop next door has a tip door set up for him even though the#bar owner ppl take care of him and take him to the vet nd stuff. my dad found a faceb/ook page somebody made for him#and apparently it just has pictures of ppl at the bar holding him. its so great and hilarious. this cat is so loved#by the v/ape shop people. by random people at this beachtown bar. by the breakfast shop people.#anyways uh. this post was abkut kandi wasnt it 😭😭😭 lol#cherry chortles#anyways the add/er/all also usually makes me want to look at and sort through my pkmn card collection. so imma do that#because my dads friend (and my friend too i guess! me and him exchange cat photos bc he has this adorable chunky cat named gremlin) that we#play bar trivia with on tuesdays (dw its not really even a bar. its mostly a restaurant) asked me abt my pokemon card collection#bc the final question was to put a few franchises (it was like. dora the ecplora and spide/rman etc. and pokemon) in order of revenue#and obvs pokemon was the top. bc of factors like the trading cards so thats how that came up#we didnt bet any of our points btw but we almost! got it right! the order was pk/mn dora spidamen friends (the tv seies) but we had spidman#as second. but we still won!! our team is on a two game winning streak!!! we always split the money so next week ill get another 8 dolla >:3#wow i havent hit tag limit yert#lol. yall'll open the 'see all tags' thing and boom. do you love the color of the sky type shit 😭😭😭#sorry that sounds too much like aave. i (white baby) cant be sayin that#cherrys kandi#okay well i had a tag with a verse from the ultimarw showdown bc i didnt know what else to say#but with my kandi tag and these two tags i have hit tag limit. thank you folks ill be here all night
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So was anyone gonna tell me that too much caffeine can worsen depression or was I supposed to figure that out for myself after sipping too much 'self-loathing bastard' juice?
#personal#ive been deep in my feels the last few days#and ive been sitting here like where the fuck is this even coming from i cut out all the stressors hello#am i just predisposed to hate myself forever???#no#ive been having too much cold brew#and i know this because i wake up today with an obnoxious ass headache as if im having caffeine withdrawals#even though i had a latte yesterday just not the cold brew#the cold brew thats got waaaaaaaay more caffeine per serving than the latte (and i usually end up having about two servings in one go)#and you know what? the self-loathing bastard energy just aint slapping today somehow#just the damn headache and some vague queasiness#(and annoyance at how my new curtains for my room are doing a piss poor job of staving off the evil hate orb but that's a different thing)#and its like okay i know caffeine can worsen anxiety and it can have the opposite expected effect for folks with adhd#is there a link with depression too?#studies say...yeah there might be a link especially if youre already predisposed to it#so uh#yeah today i learned i guess#i need to take that snide self-deprecating remark off my sideblog too...whoops
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