#but i guess there always has to be a first

[oceantornadoo]

inspired by a dramoine fic i read! simon riley x f!reader

it’s the third time today someone has handed you simon’s paperwork and you’re starting to get confused. in fact, there’s the distinct feeling that you’ve missed a memo.

first, it was the visiting captain, so you couldn’t blame him for confusing lieutenants. but then it was johnny turning in his mission report, muttering something about “cannae be late this time if ah give it ye, lass.” which was odd, considering you weren’t his direct report (you were gaz’s). but what really sent you over the edge was getting called into price’s office and being met with a load of folders addressed to one Lt. Ghost (Confidential).

“sir, i’m a bit confused as to why you can’t just give these to him yourself.” price looked up from his desk, eyes flickering from under his boonie hat. “hav’ you seen ‘im today, lieutenant?” you nodded immediately while trying to scoop all of this paperwork (that was not yours!) into your arms. “yessir, i saw him before breakfast and then during training and then…what?” price had silently quirked an eyebrow, his beard echoing the movement. “i haven’t seen ‘im all day, so i figure it’s faster for you to deliver since you’re more well-versed in his movements than i am.” huh. “i’m sure he’s just doing his ghost thing, y’know? slipping into shadows and…”, price patiently gave you an exasperated look, “but i’ll get these to him, sir. see you later!”

the problem was, you knew exactly where simon was. in your office.

his own had an unfortunate ground level window near the track, so he was always complaining about nosy recruits until you offered to share some office space. temporarily, of course. it’s not like you were using all the empty space anyways and it made it much easier to get the opinion of your fellow lieutenant on a report by walking over to his desk, rather than going up and down stairs. that was the second point he made, and who were you to say no?

after pushing open your office door, you beelined for simon’s desk, dumping the stacks of folders on his desk. “wot’s this?” his mask was off so you could see his eyes widen at the mess of papers. “everyone now thinks i’m a drop off box for your paperwork, so i got burdened with all of this when i was doing my rounds.” he nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of his tea. “cheers, love.”

“what do you mean, cheers? don’t you think it’s odd for them to give me your paperwork? and why do we even have so much paperwork? i swear im drowning in it this week.” he snorted at your last sentence, opening the first folder in front of him while you rounded your desk, sitting in your comfy chair with a hmpf. “yer out an’ about more than me, tha’s all.” well, that was true. the infamous ghost was not known to be a sociable person on base. “i guess…” you turned to your old radio, passed down by a retired captain, and turned on simon’s favorite classical station.

“ya want mess or the pub tonight, love?” another great thing about being on base with simon - you never had to pay for dinner. “actually, that thai place we like is doing a special tonight.” he gave you a half-smirk, one cheek ticking up. “bloody raccoon. we had thai two nights ago.” you didn’t respond, instead blinking your best impression of puppy dog eyes at him. simon sighed, then shook his head at his desk. “olrigh’. the things i do.” you smiled and winked, dipping your head back down to your desk. “thanks, si.”

-

two weeks later, you were prepping for a duo mission with simon. price had been grilling the two of you for the past three hours, making sure you had everything memorized. satisfied, he leaned back in his office chair and rubbed his temples, the feeling of a headache coming on. “one more thing.” both of you snapped your head up at price, desperate to leave and eat. you’d already missed dinner and your stomach was complaining.

“the safe house is pretty small, basically a shack. one bed, no couch. i assumed ‘s fine since y’r datin-“ “‘s fine, captain.” simon cut him off, an out of character move that had you frowning. “it’s fine, cap. not like ive never slept on a floor before.” now price was frowning at what you said. he turned to simon, who shook his head imperceptibly before becoming still again. price’s brow furrowed but he didn’t push further. he got up from his chair, eyes flitting suspiciously between you two. “i’ll see you at 0600.”

“what was that about?” you whispered to simon after as you walked down the hall. “‘s nothin’.” you were missing something but it was so unclear what. “he thinks that we’re datin-“ “said it’s nothin’, sweetheart. he’s an old man. let’s get some food in you, yeah?” you nodded, letting him guide you to the kitchen. price wasn’t that old. and you were not dating simon riley.

-

the mission was beautiful, your best one in years. it was the first duo mission between you and simon, so the nerves of pulling your own weight had settled in hard. thankfully, your skills balanced each other out and you’d gotten the target in record time. now, all you had to do was wait in the safe house for exfil.

“you were so good.” you whispered once he’d locked the door. he only hummed a response, checking exit and entry points while you set up your packs, scrounging up MREs and testing the shack for electricity. price wasn’t kidding - it was practically a studio apartment. one bed, a bathroom and a decrepit stove. the soldier part of you was fine with it, but that small soft part of you ached for the warmth of your apartment. memories of yelling at simon for using all your shampoo even though he didn’t live there, of him running you a bath after a long day of training.

“you were good too, baby.” he snuck up from behind your spot on the floor and lifted you onto the mattress that had definitely seen better days. you hadn’t even checked it for bed bugs yet. “c’mere.” he pulled you into his lap, unbuckling your tac vest as you pulled off your bandana. you tugged off his mask - the hard shell since you were on a mission - and ran your nails through his short haircut. simon started kissing your neck, wet and sloppy like he couldn’t get enough. the unrestrained want he displayed sometimes scared you. the respective pulsing in both your chest and cunt scared you more.

“so are you sleeping on the floor or am i?” he flipped you over, your back flush with the mattress as simon loomed over you. there was still eyeblack around his eyes, caught on his blonde eyelashes as well, and you couldn’t help the hand that reached up to brush some of it away. “y’r funny, sweetheart.” you grinned at that - a real toothy smile. he bent down to kiss you, scarred lips caressing your own. simon bit your lip and you moaned, sliding your legs out from under him to wrap them around his torso. when you tugged him in he went willingly, grinding into your clothed cunt. his tac vest was still on, scraping against your shirt, hardening your nipples.

“keepin’ you in this bed all night.” cold fingers dipped past the waist of your pants. you were already wet, his fingers sliding easily up and down your slit as they warmed up. that’s when you realized he still had his glove on, his movements harsher than normal. wide eyes met his own, and simon stopped so you could make a decision.

it didn’t take much as you dug your heels into his back harder, meeting him in a sloppy kiss as his gloved thumb played with your clit. “fuckin’ made for me.” he whispered, and you chalked it up to dirty talk because obviously, you weren’t together. he just knew exactly what to do, giving your clit the right amount of pressure as his other fingers teased your hole, the stretch burning more than usual. it only took a few flicks and you were off, your orgasm settling through your bones like a warm cup of tea. “jesus, si.” he grinned, his scarred lips pulling up to show a beautiful smile. “know ya like th’ back of my hand, huh?” you shook your head, capturing the idiot in another kiss.

-

after the mission, after debrief and a hot shower, you made your way back to your base office. thankfully, paperwork had only slightly piled up. one envelope stood out though - a thick card-stock with glossy, swooping letters. an invite to london’s military gala, addressed to a Lieutenant & Lieutenant. simon’s name was next to yours, connected by a singular symbol. you turned to him in disbelief. simon had been going through his own backlog, but his head snapped up under the focus of your glare.

“simon, are we…dating?”

-

this was fun!!! check out the fic i linked it was so good and i couldn’t put it down.

[gotta-winwin]

nana tour seungcheol x reader

a/n: this was a request asking for seungcheol during nana tour - it deviates slightly but i hope it'll still satisfy the itch! we love ourselves a loyal man who knows what's up.

(1)

You supposed Seungcheol not being able to follow his group mates to Italy was a blessing in disguise. Of course, you knew how disappointed he was, watching as he bid farewell to them as they boarded the bus, waving goodbye with a melancholic look on his face. 

“I’m sorry you can’t go.” You mumbled against his shoulder as you leaned against him, looping your arms around his waist, careful not to knock against the crutches on either side of him. “Italy sounds fun.”

Seungcheol had always been the sacrificing type. “It’s okay.” He assured you, pressing his lips against the top of your head as he spoke. “It means I get to spend two weeks concentrated solely on you.” 

(2)

You could tell Seungcheol was taking full advantage of his two week break, trying to do anything and everything he couldn’t with his busy schedule. Lounging on the bed as you watched him game, you couldn’t help but snap a few photos to commemorate the moment. It was rare to see Seungcheol this relaxed, with nowhere to be and nothing pressing to do. He was purely just Seungcheol, your gentle giant of a lover and protector of your heart. 

(3)

Seungcheol makes it his own personal mission to complete your checklist of places you’ve never been with your boyfriend. It doesn’t matter if the two of you will be recognized in public, he’ll rent the damn museum if he has to. The two of you spend the two weeks doing every cringey couple activity Seoul has to offer, as he tries to make up for all the times he’s had to choose work over you.

(4)

You find it hilarious when Na PD calls you instead of Seungcheol for one of his quiz games, quietly shushing the boys on the other line as you flip the camera, Seungcheol asleep with his arms draped over your stomach. He’s snoring away without a care in the world as his members laugh through the screen. You answer whatever silly question they had been given to guess, thanking Na PD for bringing the boys on their first real vacation since debut. 

(5)

You’ve always said that your boyfriend also had a boyfriend. Since you had ever known him, Seungcheol and Jeonghan had always come as a pair. One could not exist or function without the other, this being evident as you would often walk into Seungcheol facetiming his other other half. Jeonghan had also cheekily given you the job of sending him what he deemed as a ‘Cheol selfie’ per day, claiming that it wasn’t fair you get him all to yourself and that he deserves compensation. 

(6)

The night before his members were due to return to Korea, Seungcheol had pulled you aside, distracting you from your book as the two of you laid in bed, the sky outside already a dark shade of blue. 

“You know I love you, right?” He whispered, snaking his arms around your waist like second nature. 

Of course you knew. He never once gave you even a moment to forget. 

“You know I love you more than anything, right?” Seungcheol nosed against your stomach, his face pressed against the bare skin of your waist. “And that I’d quit this job in a heartbeat if you ever asked.”

He knew you’d never ask that of him though. “I started loving you knowing that your job and its odd hours came with you.” You reminded him. “I know what I signed up for.”

“These past two weeks made me realize I want more.” He mumbled. “I don’t want to never be home when we start a family.” 

Your lips curled into a smile, looping your fingers through his hair. “You’ve thought of that?”

Seungcheol nodded against you, tugging you closer. The vows you had made each other, even silently, echoed soundlessly around the two of you. 

Seungcheol would choose you over anything in the world. 

[gravedwe11er]

Mecha AU Deadlock angst? Mecha AU Deadlock angst!

Or, I saw a post mentioning that someone is gonna have to explain human lifespans to the bots, and my brain ran with it. Based on the @keferon mecha AU.

CW: Discussions of death and mortality

Human and cybertronian lifespans are such wildly disparate things. Deadlock struggles with this newfound knowledge.

Forty local stellar cycles. Maybe fifty, if he’s one of the lucky ones.

Now, even before his crash-landing on this planet, Deadlock knew enough about organics to be aware they’re generally not as long-lived as mechanical species. Comes with being so breakable all over, if he had to guess, but-

That’s barely half a fragging vorn.

Even if he gets lucky, even if, for once, Deadlock doesn’t fail at keeping the people he cares about safe, the little organic medic is going to be dead in half a vorn. ‘That’s just how things are, for humans,’ Swerve said. ‘I’m sorry,’ Swerve said.

Slag, and what about Roddy? Deadlock’s pretty sure the pilot is younger than Ratchet, but still- that gives him, how long, a vorn? Less? Even the very thought of it just feels so damn wrong. The little guy’s so bright, how could anyone with an EM field like a fucking Prime have the lifespan of--

Deadlock desperately wants to shoot something.

Instead, he drives towards Ratchet’s workshop, transforming the moment he’s out of sight and heading straight for the doc once he finds him in the garage. It’s yet another testament to the man’s caring nature that he lets himself get picked up with only token grumbling, throwing a concerned look Deadlock’s way but not pushing the matter.

The human medic has always been scarily good at reading him. In moments like these, Deadlock can’t help but be overwhelmingly grateful for it.

Hugging the man to the side of his helm, he soon feels a small, calloused hand running gently down one finial. Deadlock wants to scream. The injustice of it all making his processor spin, his spark thrumming with pain and fear and overwhelming grief. How can he bear to lose all this so soon? He’s only just found him, the first glimpse of something like peace in eons, and he can’t deal with the thought of him gone, he can’t-

Ratchet grunts in his servos, knocking loudly on one of Deadlock’s fingers, and with a jolt he realizes just how tight he’s been holding the man. Immediately, he loosens his grip, gently petting down the doc’s back in silent apology. After a moment, a warm ser- hand pats his cheek.

“Feel like telling me what’s eating you, kid?” Ratchet asks, before lightly pushing against Deadlock’s face.

Responding to the wordless request, Deadlock pulls his cupped hands away from his helm, just enough so he can look into the human medic’s opti- eyes. He scrambles for a way to express his racing thoughts, vocalizer hissing with static, before abruptly spitting out, “Are you dying?”

To his surprise, the man bursts out laughing. “Shit, where’d you get that idea?” he chuckles, shaking his head. “Now, as much as I’m sure a bunch of my previous employers would love to dance on my grave, let me assure you that I’m perfectly fi-“

“But you’re not!” Deadlock almost shouts, engine growling. “He said- decay of organic components, and human lifespans are-“ his voice gets stuck in his throat, vocalizer jamming, and he offlines his optics for a moment. Tries to get his slag together, at least a little.

When he turns them on again, all the mirth has left his human’s face. The medic’s eyes are serious, a sad sort of expression on his face, and Deadlock wants to curl himself around the man and never let go.

“Right,” sighs Ratchet, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I was sort of hoping you knew about that already.”

The last flutter of hope he was harboring vanishes. “So he was right? You only live for- eighty, ninety of your years?”

“Afraid so, kid,” says the man, suddenly looking so fragile in Deadlock’s palms. “Look, I know it’s not a lot to your kind, but-“

“And there’s nothing to be done? Can’t you- figure something out?”

He’s reaching and he knows it, but the human looks so- accepting of it. Like it’s a perfectly normal thing, to barely get to live at all before your body breaks down and dies, just like that!

Ratchet shakes his head with a wry smile. “Not how that works. People have been trying, sure, but nobody ever really got anywhere. And even if we did manage to drastically expand our lifespans somehow, the psychological effects it would have… we’re just not made for that, Deadlock,” he says, patting Deadlock on the nearest finger; a ghost of a touch, but still comforting. “I, hah, appreciate your faith in me kid, but not even I can do miracles.”

“I just don’t- how the fuck can you be so alright with that?” Deadlock asks, feeling utterly miserable.

The man snorts. “What else is there to do? It’s not like worrying about it would fix anything, and I’m not going to waste my life thinking about my death.” Then the human’s gaze softens, and he stands up to be more optic-level with Deadlock. “Listen to me. I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but there’s nothing you, or anybody else, can change about it. The only thing you can do,” he says gently, reaching a hand towards Deadlock’s cheek, “is make the most of it.”

Deadlock exvents, suddenly feeling deeply tired. “Right. Right, I guess I just- gotta make it count, then,” he mutters, carefully leaning into the contact and the comfort it brings.

Ratchet smiles at him. “That’s the spirit. Have fun with Roddy- safe fun,” he quickly adds. “Take him on drives, or, hell, feel free to bum around my workshop as usual, if that’s what you want. You know I don’t mind the company, provided you behave yourself,” says the doc, his words punctuated by a mock-threatening look. “Just… try enjoy the time you have with us, okay?”

“Mkay,” he answers, voice still choked with static, before pulling the little medic to his chestplates. This close to his spark, he can read the human’s odd, tiny EM field with perfect clarity – concern, quiet affection and a deep kind of care rolls off of him in waves. Sometimes, Deadlock wishes he could tangle their fields together properly, synchronizing their frequencies in an embrace only possible for his kind, but- this is good too. More than good, really – it’s something unique to the two of them, and that makes it perfect as far as he’s concerned.

“Now, I’d really like to know which tactless bastard just dropped all this on you,” jokes Ratchet, the vibrations of the man’s voice tickling pleasantly against his plating, “so I can go brain them with a wrench for it.”

Despite himself, Deadlock snorts. “I think Swerve might be a little outside your size class, doc.”

“Oh, don’t you underestimate me, kid!” the medic grumbles, but he’s laughing too, and the return to the usual banter eases some of the weight on Deadlock’s spark.

Forty stellar cycles, maybe fifty.

He’ll make those years count.

He’ll make them be enough.

(Maybe, if he repeats it a few hundred times more, he’ll make himself believe it, too.)

[solxamber]

'Elloo! :D I saw your requests open, can I request some hcs or short imagines for the first, second, and third years, separate characters?? Or you can just do it as a single scenario with all the characters. They're (Their??) reaction when they've realized the things reader/Yuu had to go through starting from the very beginning ,when they first got transported to the school. Like, the shock of not being able to go home, new environment, the fear-- just the emotional and mental turmoil reader/yuu went through starting from the beginning.

Also, as time goes by it just gets worse and worse along with all the overblots and stuff that got reader/Yuu over the edge. And now the students kind of help?? Or at least try to soothe or comfort the reader I guess??

Does this make any sense?? I dunno :'D

I want me some angst hehe >:]

But if this is kind of too much then it's okii if you wanna skip this one, I love the effort you put into your writings! <3

I kinda just wanted to ramble and yap about this idea I had hehe

Toodles!

thank you!! and i'm sorry it too so long, but i hope you like it <3

They realise what you went through - All NRC + Rollo + Neige + Grim, Staff

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle doesn’t realize the extent of your struggle until much later, likely after witnessing you reach your breaking point. The way you bottle up your emotions reminds him of himself before his own overblot, and it fills him with guilt. He prides himself on upholding order, but he feels like he failed to notice the chaos within you.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Riddle asks, voice trembling as he stands before you, his normally stern expression soft with regret. He places a hesitant hand on your shoulder, unsure if he has the right to offer comfort after overlooking your pain for so long. “I… I should have noticed. I’m sorry.”

Riddle dives into a methodical plan to ease your burdens. He takes on your academic concerns, ensuring your assignments are manageable and offering personal tutoring. When you’re overwhelmed, he insists you take breaks in Heartslabyul’s peaceful rose garden. While he’s not good at openly expressing affection, he’s steadfast, always by your side with words of encouragement and warm tea.

Trey Clover

Trey picks up on your struggles sooner than most, his observant nature allowing him to notice the small cracks in your demeanor. He doesn’t pry but stays close, offering quiet support until he realizes you’re beyond your limit. His heart aches knowing you’ve been carrying so much without asking for help.

“Hey… you don’t have to pretend everything’s fine,” Trey says softly, kneeling beside you as you sit slumped in an empty classroom. His usual calm demeanor is tinged with concern. “I’ve seen you pushing yourself too hard. You’re not alone in this, you know.”

Trey becomes your sanctuary. He’s the type to cook comforting meals for you, often sneaking you your favorite desserts. He encourages you to talk at your own pace, listening without judgment. Trey also ensures you’re surrounded by people who care, gently urging you to spend time with friends so you never feel isolated again.

Cater Diamond

Cater doesn’t fully realize how bad things are until he catches you breaking down when you think no one is watching. The sight hits him hard—he’s used to wearing masks himself, but seeing you put on a brave face while falling apart reminds him of his own struggles.

“Whoa, hey, hey…” Cater’s voice is unusually soft as he crouches in front of you, the playful lilt replaced with genuine worry. “You’ve been holding all this in, haven’t you? Man, that’s not healthy… You should’ve told me!”

Cater becomes your cheerleader, using his energy to lift your spirits. He takes you on spontaneous outings, distracting you with fun activities and selfies to remind you of life’s lighter side. When you need to vent, he’s surprisingly patient, letting you talk without interruptions. His go-to phrase becomes, “No filter, just let it out. I’m here.”

Ace Trappola

Ace is the last to understand the depth of your pain, brushing off your struggles as stress until you finally snap. Seeing you cry or lash out leaves him dumbstruck—he’s not used to serious emotions and struggles to process it at first. But beneath his awkwardness, he genuinely cares.

“Whoa… I didn’t think it was this bad.” Ace rubs the back of his neck, guilt clear in his expression. “Look, I’m sorry if I made things worse. I didn’t mean to. I just… didn’t know.”

Ace sticks close to you in his own Ace-like way. He cracks jokes to make you laugh and distracts you with playful banter, but he’s also there for the serious moments. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, he drags you outside to play a quick game of basketball or to look at the stars, insisting, “You’ve gotta clear your head, or you’ll go crazy.”

Deuce Spade

Deuce notices your struggles but doesn’t know how to approach you about them. When he finally sees you crumble, it makes him feel like he’s failed as your friend. His protective instincts kick in, and he becomes determined to help you in any way he can.

“Wait—you’ve been feeling like this the whole time?” Deuce’s voice is thick with emotion as he looks at you, his fists clenched at his sides. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve done something! I’m supposed to have your back!”

Deuce takes your well-being seriously, to the point of overcompensating at first. He insists on walking you to class, carrying your things, and defending you against anything he perceives as a threat (real or imagined). Over time, he learns to provide quiet support, sitting with you during tough moments and saying, “We’ll get through this together. I promise.”

Leona Kingscholar

Leona is a perceptive man, even if he acts otherwise, but your struggles slip under his radar for too long. It isn’t until he notices how you’ve stopped rising to his teasing or how the light in your eyes has dimmed that the gravity of your situation hits him. It reminds him of his own sense of isolation, and the guilt gnaws at him.

“Tch. You think you’re the only one who has to deal with this crap?” Leona’s voice is gruff, but there’s no malice in it. He sighs, sitting beside you under the shade of a tree. “You should’ve said something sooner, herbivore. Doesn’t mean you have to carry it all yourself.”

Leona doesn’t coddle you, but his actions speak louder than his words. He offers his presence, silently inviting you to nap in the botanical gardens with him when you need a break. If anyone dares to make your life harder, Leona handles it with a quiet, lethal efficiency. “Rest up. You’re not falling apart on my watch.”

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie notices your struggles quickly, but his initial reaction is to brush it off as normal stress—until he sees you genuinely hit your breaking point. It stuns him; he’s used to dealing with hardships himself but hates the idea of you enduring the same without support.

“Oi, don’t do this to yourself,” Ruggie says, his usual playful tone replaced by something softer. “You’re not alone, y’know? I don’t let my people suffer in silence. That’s not how we roll.”

Ruggie uses his resourcefulness to lighten your load however he can. He sneaks you snacks, takes care of tedious tasks for you, and even makes you laugh with his sharp wit. When you’re overwhelmed, he shares stories of his struggles to show you that it’s okay to lean on others. “You’ve got me, okay? I’ll make sure you’re okay, promise.”

Jack Howl

Jack notices the signs of your stress early on, but he hesitates to bring it up, unsure if it’s his place. When he finally realizes how deeply you’re struggling, it stirs a protective instinct in him, and he immediately resolves to do whatever it takes to help you.

“You should’ve told me,” Jack says, his voice low and filled with regret. His ears twitch as he glances away, guilt etched across his face. “I could’ve helped. You don’t have to do this on your own anymore.”

Jack becomes your steadfast support, encouraging you to exercise or go for runs to clear your mind. He’s a calming presence, offering quiet companionship when words aren’t enough. “You’re strong, but you don’t always have to be. Let me help carry the weight, okay?”

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul prides himself on noticing vulnerabilities in others, but your ability to mask your pain throws him off. When the cracks finally show, it shakes him deeply, reminding him of his own insecurities and the times he felt powerless.

“I didn’t realize…” Azul murmurs, his hands wringing nervously as he looks at you with uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I should have seen it. I’m sorry—for everything. Let me help you now.”

Azul’s approach is practical and calculated, but it’s rooted in genuine care. He offers to take over responsibilities or negotiate solutions to ease your stress. When you’re overwhelmed, he’s unexpectedly tender, sitting with you in his VIP room and reminding you, “Even the strongest need someone to lean on. You’ve been there for others; let us be here for you.”

Jade Leech

Jade notices your struggles early but refrains from intervening, assuming you’ll reach out when you’re ready. When he realizes how much you’ve been bottling up, he’s surprised and slightly guilty for not addressing it sooner.

“My, you’ve been carrying quite the burden,” Jade says, his usual calm tinged with regret. “It seems I underestimated just how much you’ve endured. Forgive my oversight.”

Jade is a master of subtlety, offering comfort in ways that feel natural and unintrusive. He invites you on quiet walks through the woods, using the serene atmosphere to help ease your mind. When words are needed, he listens attentively, his soothing voice offering reassurance. “Do not hesitate to lean on me, should you need support. I’ll always be here.”

Floyd Leech

Floyd doesn’t realize how bad things are until you completely snap, and even then, it takes him a moment to process that your outburst isn’t just a temporary mood. Seeing you so broken flips a switch in him, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a rare seriousness.

“Shrimpy, why didn’t you say anything?” Floyd’s voice is uncharacteristically quiet, his sharp eyes scanning your face. He pouts, but there’s no mischief in it—just genuine concern. “You don’t gotta handle everything alone, y’know?”

Floyd sticks to you like glue, his unpredictable nature becoming a strange source of comfort. He drags you out for spontaneous adventures, insisting that fun will help you feel better. When you’re feeling low, he’s surprisingly gentle, wrapping you in a tight hug and muttering, “I gotcha, Shrimpy. Nobody’s messin’ with you while I’m here.”

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim is always full of energy and positivity, so it takes him a while to notice the depths of your struggles. When he does, he’s devastated, blaming himself for not seeing it sooner.

“Wait—you’ve been feeling like this?” Kalim’s eyes widen, tears threatening to spill. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve done something to help!”

Kalim does everything in his power to brighten your days. He showers you with gifts, invites you to lively parties, and insists on spending time together to lift your spirits. When he realizes that quiet support means more than grand gestures, he sits with you, holding your hand. “You’re not alone, okay? I’ll always be here for you.”

Jamil Viper

Jamil is highly observant, and while he notices your struggles early on, he assumes you’re managing on your own until he sees how much you’ve truly endured. It reminds him of his own bottled-up frustrations, and guilt eats at him for not acting sooner.

“...I should’ve known,” Jamil mutters, his voice low and filled with regret. He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “I’ve been through this too. I know what it’s like to feel trapped. I’m sorry I didn’t step in sooner.”

Jamil’s care comes in quiet, thoughtful gestures. He prepares your favorite meals, arranges peaceful moments away from the chaos of NRC, and ensures you never feel overwhelmed alone. “You’ve done more than enough. Let me take care of things for a while.”

Vil Schoenheit

Vil’s sharp eyes catch the signs of your struggles quickly, but he initially brushes them off, believing you’ll overcome them like any challenge. When the full weight of your burden becomes clear, he’s horrified and deeply regretful for not intervening sooner.

“I failed to notice something so glaringly obvious,” Vil says, his tone laced with self-reproach. “That’s not acceptable—not as your friend and certainly not as someone who should’ve supported you better.”

Vil approaches your comfort with precision and care, determined to help you regain your footing. He insists on self-care days, encourages you to vent your frustrations, and teaches you grounding techniques. “You’re stronger than you think, but even the strongest need rest. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Rook Hunt

Rook is attuned to the emotions of those around him, and your pain does not escape his notice. He marvels at your resilience but is deeply saddened that you’ve been enduring so much without seeking help.

“Mon cher trésor, your suffering… it pains me to think I let you endure this alone,” Rook says softly, his gaze earnest. “You’ve carried a weight that no one should bear by themselves. Allow me to lighten your burden.”

Rook’s support is poetic and heartfelt, crafting moments of beauty to remind you of the world’s wonders. Whether it’s a bouquet of flowers, a handwritten letter, or a quiet moment under the stars, he ensures you feel cherished. “You are not alone in this grand stage of life, and I shall remain by your side as your steadfast ally.”

Epel Felmier

Epel is initially too caught up in his own frustrations to notice the extent of your struggles, but once he sees you falter, his protective side kicks in. It reminds him of his own insecurities about being underestimated.

“Aw, geez, why didn’t ya say somethin’?” Epel frowns, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “You’re always lookin’ out for us, but ya never let anyone do the same for you. That ain’t fair.”

Epel takes a straightforward approach, offering to help however he can. He sticks close, ensuring you never feel alone, and encourages you to vent when needed. “You’re tough as nails, but that doesn’t mean you gotta do it all by yourself. We’re a team, remember?”

Idia Shroud

Idia is slow to notice your struggles, being so wrapped up in his own world, but when he realizes the extent of your pain, it hits him hard. He sees a reflection of his own struggles in you and feels immense guilt for not seeing it sooner.

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” Idia mumbles, his voice trembling. His hair dims as he nervously fiddles with his tablet. “I should’ve… I don’t know, paid more attention. I’m sorry. I—I wanna help, if you’ll let me.”

Idia comforts you in his own awkward way, creating a safe space where you can relax without judgment. He shares his favorite games, shows, and quiet moments, offering you an escape from the chaos. “You don’t have to be ‘okay’ all the time. Just… take it easy for now. I’m here if you need me.”

Ortho Shroud

Ortho is one of the first to notice your struggles, his advanced sensors picking up on changes in your emotional and physical state. His concern is immediate, and he wastes no time in seeking to help.

“You’ve been so sad for so long, haven’t you?” Ortho’s voice is soft, as he hovers close. “I wish I could’ve made you smile sooner. I’m sorry you’ve been hurting.”

Ortho’s comfort is warm and reassuring, filled with optimism and boundless energy. He’s always ready with encouraging words, small gifts, or simply a cheerful presence to brighten your day. “You’re not alone! I’ll do everything I can to help you feel better, okay?”

Malleus Draconia

Malleus has always sensed something amiss about your emotions, his acute sensitivity to auras making it impossible for him to overlook your struggles. However, he hesitates to approach, fearing he might overstep or worsen your burdens. When he finally understands the depth of your pain, he is both heartbroken and determined to help.

“You’ve been enduring this in silence?” His deep voice is laced with regret as his green eyes soften. “If only I had been more attentive, perhaps I could have eased your pain.”

Malleus ensures you feel his unwavering support. He invites you for peaceful strolls under the stars, shares his favorite quiet spots, and reassures you with his calming presence. “You are precious to me. Whatever darkness surrounds you, I will remain by your side until the light returns.”

Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia has lived long enough to recognize the signs of emotional turmoil, and it pains him to see you suffer. While he often masks his seriousness with cheerfulness, he doesn’t hesitate to step in when he sees you reaching your breaking point.

“Oh, little one, you’ve carried such a heavy heart all this time.” His playful demeanor fades into solemnity as he places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to face this alone.”

Lilia comforts you with wisdom and warmth, drawing on centuries of experience. He shares stories to make you laugh, cooks (albeit questionable) meals to distract you, and offers sage advice when you’re ready to talk. “Life’s trials are harsh, but you’re stronger than you know. And if you need someone to lean on, I’ll always be here.”

Silver

Silver is observant despite his drowsy nature, and he’s one of the first to notice your growing exhaustion. When he realizes the extent of your suffering, he feels deeply remorseful for not acting sooner.

“I should have seen this sooner,” Silver says quietly, his tone filled with regret. “You’ve always looked out for others… I should’ve done the same for you.”

Silver stays by your side, offering silent, steady support. He doesn’t push you to talk but is always ready to listen when you’re ready. His calm demeanor helps ground you, and he often sits quietly with you under a tree or by a calm lake. “You’re not alone. I’ll protect you—not just from danger, but from this weight you’re carrying.”

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek’s initial reaction is frustration—not at you, but at himself for failing to notice your struggles while being so focused on Malleus. His loyalty shifts into overdrive as he becomes determined to help you.

“You’ve been struggling this much, and I didn’t see it?!” Sebek’s voice is loud, but there’s a rare softness in his expression. “That is… unacceptable. I failed you as a companion.”

Sebek’s attempts to comfort you are a bit clumsy but heartfelt. He insists on helping you with daily tasks and loudly declares his commitment to your well-being. Despite his rough edges, his sincerity shines through. “Know this: I will not allow you to suffer alone any longer. You have my loyalty, now and always.”

Rollo Flamme

Rollo’s disdain for magic only deepens when he realizes how much you’ve suffered due to the chaos and overblots of NRC. His concern for you is genuine, though it’s laced with anger toward the school and its culture.

“This place… It’s a cesspool of disorder and harm,” Rollo says, his voice cold yet trembling with suppressed emotion. “You’ve been caught in its web for too long. You deserve better.”

Rollo’s comfort is practical and protective. He tries to create a sense of normalcy for you, offering quiet, structured moments away from the chaos. His words are sharp but sincere. “You deserve a life of peace and stability. If you can’t find it here, I’ll do what I can to give it to you.”

Neige LeBlanche

Neige is quick to notice your distress, his naturally empathetic nature making him keenly aware of your struggles. He’s horrified to think of you enduring so much alone and wants to do everything in his power to make you smile again.

“Oh no… You’ve been feeling like this?” Neige’s voice is soft, his eyes brimming with concern. “You don’t deserve to carry such sadness by yourself.”

Neige’s comfort is gentle and uplifting. He sings for you, offers kind words, and encourages you to express your feelings without fear. “You’re so strong, but you don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to let someone take care of you for a change.”

Grim

Grim initially doesn’t notice your struggles, his focus often on his own ambitions and mischief. When he finally realizes how much you’ve been enduring, he feels both guilt and panic.

“Hey… You’re not okay, are ya?” Grim’s ears droop as he looks up at you, his voice unusually soft. “Why didn’t ya tell me? I—I’m supposed to be your partner!”

Grim becomes fiercely protective, sticking by your side at all times. He tries to cheer you up with his antics and insists on being your “emotional support boss.” “You’re stuck with me, got it? So don’t go actin’ like you’re all alone. I won’t let ya.”

Staff:

Crowley

Crowley prides himself on being the "benevolent" headmaster, but when he realizes how much you’ve suffered under his care—or lack thereof—he’s struck by a rare pang of guilt. While he’s not one to admit fault outright, he becomes visibly uncomfortable with the weight of his oversight.

“My dear, you’ve been carrying all of this on your shoulders?” His dramatic flair falters for a moment, his usual exuberance replaced with awkward sincerity. “I… suppose I may have been a tad neglectful in ensuring your well-being.”

Crowley tries to make amends in his own roundabout way, offering resources, extended accommodations, or attempting to be more attentive (though his efforts are often misguided). “Rest assured, I shall personally oversee that you are well cared for! You have my full support—within reason, of course.”

Divus Crewel

Crewel is not one to tolerate weakness, but when he sees the toll everything has taken on you, his stern demeanor softens. He’s the type to take immediate, no-nonsense action to ensure you’re taken care of.

“You’ve let it get this bad without saying a word?” His sharp tone is laced with frustration, but his eyes betray his concern. “Pup, I thought I taught you better than to carry burdens alone.”

Crewel’s approach is practical yet caring. He insists you rest, brings you comforting meals, and ensures you know you’re valued. “You’re stronger than you think, but even the strongest need support. Lean on me, pup. I’ll make sure you’re back to full strength in no time.”

Mozus Trein

Trein is a man of wisdom and observation. He likely noticed your struggles but respected your space, waiting for the right time to step in. When he realizes the full extent of your distress, he feels deep regret for not intervening sooner.

“I should have addressed this earlier.” His voice is steady but tinged with remorse. “You’ve faced more challenges than any student should. It’s a testament to your resilience, but it shouldn’t have come to this.”

Trein offers gentle guidance, providing stability and reassurance. He shares stories of his own trials and reminds you that even the hardest times pass. “Life is fraught with difficulties, but you’ve shown remarkable courage. Allow others to help shoulder the burden—you need not face this alone.”

Ashton Vargas

Vargas isn’t the most emotionally perceptive, but when it finally clicks that you’re struggling, he’s hit with a wave of guilt. He immediately shifts gears, trading his usual boisterousness for genuine concern.

“Whoa… I had no idea it was this bad,” Vargas says, his brows furrowed in concern. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? I would’ve helped in a heartbeat!”

Vargas focuses on physical activity as a form of comfort, encouraging you to blow off steam in healthy ways. He also offers constant positive reinforcement. “You’re tough, kid, but even the toughest need a break. Let’s get some fresh air and clear your head—you’ve got this!”

Sam

Sam has always been attuned to the emotions of others, so when he realizes the depth of your struggles, he feels a pang of regret for not stepping in sooner. His usual upbeat demeanor becomes tinged with quiet sympathy.

“Well, well… Looks like someone’s been carrying more than their fair share.” His voice is soft, his usual grin replaced with a concerned expression. “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?”

Sam provides comfort through small but meaningful gestures, like preparing your favorite treats or giving you space to talk. He reassures you with his calming presence and wise words. “Don’t keep it bottled up, friend. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. I’m here to help you through it.”

Masterlist

[mindibindi]

What d'you mean NOW? Giving women books has always been one of society's fave preoccupations. Cos our hormonal lil brains cannot deal with fiction and information and worldly content and--- ...where be my smelling salts I am so over-stimulated I could faint! Whole BOOKS were written about the danger of giving women books. Sermons given. Newspapers written to. Pamphlets disseminated. Plays enacted. And then, because they made the pivotal mistake of letting women READ and WRITE, women wrote a bunch of books satirising all of those books and letters and sermons and pamphlets etc. If you're ever wondering if you're on the wrong political track, being sold a dud line of thought, ask yourself this: would some bearded pastor in England have written to the papers about this back in 1838? If so, then you're not being original. Quite the opposite.

Also: while we are on the topic. Books for children were originally the subject of widespread moral panic too. It was thought that children's literature was dangerous as it could instill values in children at such a young age. And WHO would be instilling those values? Who would be reading those books to the impressionable youth? WHO would be WRITING the first examples of children's literature? You guessed it. Women. But don't worry the mens soon took over that important role, making sure that children's literature (like all other literature) was their province and contained exactly the values that patriarchy values to this day.

THE END.

Are we calling women who read shitty harlequin romance novels porn addicts now?

If you read one paragraph of vintage victorian smut you'd hurl.

[viperwhispered]

Notes on Jamil's speech patterns

I was supposed to just pick out some examples of typical Jamil lines. How he speaks, the vocabulary he uses, things like that. Something I could easily refer to when writing to get the tone right.

But then it kinda blew up, oop – because it’s hard to talk about how a character speaks without also dipping into why they say whatever they say.

Plus then I wanted to get examples of Jamil in different moods, and could not resist some poignant things that were more related to his character or backstory rather than strictly the speech patterns themselves, so… It expanded a bit.

Anyways. Some things I noticed he tends to do:

Sighs (more than I realized)

Snarks

Tch (though could be a more general twst writing choice too)

Stutters when he’s flustered / embarrassed / caught of guard (what a cutie)

Goes ahem like an old man when he’s trying to get back on track in those off-kilter moments

Kinda formal with his manner of speech and choice of words (especially in servant mode) (I always worry I exaggerate this but he sure does do that)

But there’s still some animatedness with the way he emphasises words, for example

(so long-suffering and ready to bark out directions to Kalim oh boy - the way the directness just comes through when he loses it)

sugarcoating his opinions if he doesn’t feel like he can say them plainly (tyrant becomes rigorous, etc.)

sarcasm, sometimes with a side of deadpan, sometimes with a smirk

“Good grief” (another thing I didn't realize was that much of a catchphrase)

Very mild on the level of insults & swears honestly, (I mean, "drat"?) but I imagine this is more of a result of the game's rating (I guess for in-game reasons we can say he's been very conditioned by his upbringing)

I put the screenshots that seemed telling, and some related notes, on to a google sheet. That way one can filter and order it in various ways.

The sheet is probably best viewed on a computer or another larger screen, the screenshots might make it a bit difficult to navigate on mobile.

I did go in with the assumption that Jamil might speak differently pre-overblot (when the servant mask is firmly in place) and post-overblot (at least those occasions where he allows himself to be more honest). Like, there’s the sycophantic (as Leona calls it) flatterer, versus when Jamil’s honestly voicing his own thoughts. Which also shows in how I chose to categorize the screenshots.

Of course events are a bit wibbly wobbly in relation to the main story so can’t be placed in the timeline in the same way, but there are still those occasions where it seems you can tell the difference between the servant mask and a Jamil who’s not saying things just for the sake of appearances.

So, to explain the logic of the sheet:

First column has a screenshot of something Jamil says. The second two columns give the source.

The column for whether or not this happened before or after the overblot is only really used for main story things, since event stories are kinda murky timeline-wise.

Next is whether Jamil seems to be putting on the servant mask or speaking more honestly. This is where get more to interpretation territory, and I’ve not applied it to every screenshot (either because that didn’t seem like the relevant part for that line, or because I couldn’t tell).

The last column of the sheet is where we get most to my personal interpretations. So of course you might read these lines differently than I do, and that’s completely fine, these are simply the aspects that seemed poignant to me. Some notes are simply pointing out specific word choices or style of speech, others delve more into character analysis side of things.

Totally fine if you want to copy this file or modify it to your own needs. All I ask is that you don’t pass off anything I wrote as your own thoughts.

Order of lines is based purely on the order the pics were in my screenshots folder, so guess this is also an insight on the order I played things in, lol.

Tagging some jamil peeps in case y'all find this useful:

@crystallizsch @diodellet @moonyasnow @twstgo @lex752

@majestickitty @viperbunnies

[no-144444]

famous or not- c.sainz

summary: everything falls apart?

pairing: carlos sainz x fem! actor! reader

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It wasn’t the plan for everything to fall apart, but that’s just kind of what happened… 

For the first few months, everything between you two had been great. Carlos adored you, treated you like a princess, and you did the same to him. Your relationship was full of romantic dates, cozy nights in, and various trips to races to support. 

Then, he stopped returning your calls, stopped answering your messages, and really only came to you for one thing. He was stressed, you knew it. The new season had just started and he’d been struggling to out-pace Alex, let alone get in the points. You gave him grace. You gave him time. 

That was until Miami. He’d gotten in the points. He’d out-performed Alex. He’d done it. So you went out. And half way through the night you lost him, and just stayed with the other girls instead. When you woke up, you were not expecting to see photos of your boyfriend tonguing another girl. You called him, you texted him, you did everything. 

Still, no response. 

You didn’t go to the next 3 races. You left him alone, assuming you both knew you two weren’t together anymore (especially considering the fact that you explicitly told him you two were done), and you moved on with your life. Did it hurt? Yes. Were you going to let the world know that? No. 

It all kicked up again after a damn interview on the red carpet of your new film. 

“What about your alleged boyfriend Carlos Sainz? Is he here tonight?” 

You laughed. “Oh him? We were just fucking, nothing too interesting there.” 

It was meant to be a throw-away comment. He wasn’t even meant to care. 

But then he was standing in your hallway with a hardened look on his face, and you gulped. 

“Hi,” you smiled politely. “Nice to see you again.”

“You didn’t tell me you had a premiere,” he said, his voice low, warning. 

“We’re not together,” you shrugged, putting your coat away. “I didn’t think you’d need to know.”

He scoffed. “Who says we’re not together?”

“Me,” you answered plainly. 

“You don’t just get to-”

“Oh, I do though. You didn’t respond to me for weeks, Carlos. There’s photos of you kissing other girls, and guess what, I’m not just going to be your girlfriend for the weekends and let you off because you’re an F1 driver,” you scoffed. “You can go now. We’re done.” 

“Baby, what? They don’t matter, and even if they did, I only want you. Sometimes… things happen, and we don’t mean them to,” he shrugged, trying to get closer to you, but you just walked further into your home. 

“I’m not one of the girls that let those things ‘just happen’, Carlos. If you’re with me, you’re with me. Not some random groupie, not some girl you’ve just met, me. Now, please leave.”

He grabbed your arm. “Come on, you enjoyed being my WAG so much-”

“If you’re only doing this to get Williams more popularity, I suggest you fuck off,” You cursed, grabbing your arm out of his hand.

“You’re not famous enough for that anyway,” he mumbled. 

“Oh! So now I’m not famous enough for you? Pick one, you dick,” you laughed, your blood boiling as he continued insulting you. 

“Cariño, calm down,” he said, and there was silence. Mostly because your jaw was dropped at his fucking audacity. “You must admit, I did have a hand in making you more… popular.” 

You laughed in his face. Angrily and loud. “Go fuck yourself! Oh my god, the sun actually doesn’t shine out of your arsehole, though I know James has made you believe that! I am far more famous than you are, because you’ll always just be the guy that Lewis Hamilton replaced.”

You were both quiet. You’d hit a nerve. 

“Well that’s…” he trailed off. “I’ll see myself out.”

And that was that. He never bothered you again. 

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

williams & merc masterlist (omfg it's so weird to write that ew)

navigation for my blog :)

[burningembers91]

Like a Dog - The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Follow up piece to:

Freak of Nature

On Display

A Game of Cat and Mouse

Crime of Passion

Rare

Gunpowder and Lace

Synopsis: Your grey suited man has finally relinquished control

A/N: well, I did NOT see the story going this way! But, the more I write for him the more I can’t help but see him as a secret sub. He’s so dark and evil during the day, but I can see him being so needy for his woman at night. So yeah, I guess this is now a Sub!Salesman storyline 🤗 but he’s still completely insane

Also, for the alleyway scene in this fic, I was deffo picturing this gif:

There was something so intimate about relinquishing control. It gave him a sense of freedom he’d never felt before, a kind of peace he was sure he’d never know. Since telling you his name, his world had altered, had taken on a new meaning. He was always so sure he’d wanted to control you, to torture you until you broke; it was a force of habit, really. He’d always been good at breaking things, of tearing even the strongest people down until they were nothing but withered shells. But somewhere along the line, his desires towards you had changed. You’d brought something new to his life; love.

It was an odd feeling, one that he’d never felt before. He’d been so sure that he was entirely incapable of feeling anything towards any living thing, and at first it at felt uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable the way his heart physically ached for you, the feeling seeping down into the pit of his stomach in a wave of delicious heat that tied itself in knots around his senses. At first he’d been sure he was having a heart attack, or possibly a stroke, but he was convinced that neither of those things were supposed to feel pleasurable, not like he felt when he was with you. He missed you when you weren’t around, and craved you when you were. He was like a loyal dog, blindly following you whenever you went.

He found it hard to concentrate at work, always wondering what you were doing. He wanted to know how your day was, what you were having for lunch, what time you’d be home, how the kids in your classes were getting on. Love was inconvenient, love was a distraction, but he was beyond the point of caring. He’d almost made mistakes at work, and mistakes in his job were simply out of the question. He had to figure out a way of getting you out of his head, had to find a way to block you from his brain during the day. But no matter how hard he tried, you always managed to worm your way back in.

You were living with him now, his desire to be with you so strong that he simply couldn’t face living apart. He enjoyed seeing your things in his home; your perfumes and lotions next to his cologne, your clothes hanging up next to his in the closet. He found himself excited to come home, to bask in the domestic mundanity of ordinary life. You liked to read, and the two of you would lie across his expansive leather sofa, his head in your lap as you played with his hair, both engrossed in your own novels. He was worried you were making him weak, turning him into the kind of man he enjoyed breaking. There were days he couldn’t make it until the evening to see you, showing up at your school to meet you for lunch, or walking you home after the day had ended.

He allowed you full control in the bedroom, bending to your every will and desire. He was so pitifully grateful on the nights you gave him the power back, allowing him to feel in control again for a brief moment. But you were the one calling the shots now, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t care.

As his love for you grew however, so did his disdain for others. He’d always been the jealous type, had never liked to share. He found it harder to maintain his cool when you were out, his eyes constantly scanning the crowds to see if anyone had the gall to try and undress you with their eyes. There was always someone he could pick out, someone who looked at you the wrong way, who walked a little too close to you. One day when you stopped for coffee, a man had the audacity to queue jump, pushing past you as if you were invisible. That man ended up with a broken nose and two black eyes, left to cower in the alleyway behind the cafe as your grey suited man stamped repeatedly on his ribs until you told him to stop. He’d been a fool to think you were making him weak; you were only making him stronger.

You still had so many questions about the man who worshipped you like you were a goddess. You knew he was dangerous; had seen him take a man’s life and beat another one almost to death because they had disrespected you. He’d gone from stalking you like a cat stalks a mouse to begging for your attention, your validation. He was a man who would crawl through broken shards of glass if you asked him to. You knew virtually nothing about his family, only that he had parents, but he no longer spoke to them. You never met any of his friends, never met any of his colleagues. Your belief about his job in sales and recruitment was dubious. He dressed in custom Versace suits and Prada loafers, and you didn’t know any sales job that paid that well. You were hesitate to quiz him though; he treated you like royalty, giving you everything you’d desired and more, along with an undying, almost obsessive love he showered you in.

As much as he loved you, he couldn’t quite bring himself to say it. It was a terrifying word, one that had never left his lips before. He’d never even told his parents that he loved them, because in truth he hadn’t. Until you came along, he viewed everyone with a quiet distaste. People were a nuisance, a waste of time unless they had something you needed. He hoped you knew how much he loved you though, hoped his devotion to you showed through his actions. He showered you in gifts, did everything around the house so you never had to lift a finger, marked your students essays on the nights you were too tired. He was your servant in the bedroom, living only to please you.

He’d been scared at first, scared when he realised he was happy to let you dominate him. He’d always been in control, had always been the one calling the shots, but he’d never realised how good it could feel to be the one treated like a dog. He found immense pleasure in fulfilling your every desire, of letting you use him like a toy. His work required him to always be alert, to always ensure no one bested him. It became a relief to come home at night and allow himself to be told what to do.

He was enjoying this life with you, a life of domestic bliss he never thought he’d crave. You were by no means a conventional couple, but it worked for you.

You knew he had a dark side, had seen it many times. And yet he played the doting boyfriend so well. You didn’t care how dangerous he was, how devilish his desires were when it came to toying with others. With you, he craved nothing but your love and respect. And you were happy to give it to him, your submissive, grey suited man.

[emoisthenewemu]

Homie Hopper!

College MHA boys x f! reader!

In which after getting your little heart broken, you get passed around your local University’s hottest friend group! Everyone needs those slutty College years!

Smut Series! Pt 2 Senior Year! Coming soon!

A/N: I would just like to make it clear that I do not condone some of the behaviors in this series! It is a bit problematic, but it is all just for funsies! Solely for entertainment purposes so just keep that in mind. Also i love sero can you tell. Anyways, enjoy!

Cw: SMUTTT!, lots of different kinks n stuff, sub! Denki, name calling, p in v, reader has female anatomy, reader essentially gets passed around

Katsuki Bakugo as The Shit Talker!

- Katsuki Bakugo is the one who started it all, your hot neighbor who threw parties your ex boyfriend never let you go to. Bakugo always gave you shit for it, saying you were ‘too young and pretty to be tied down’.

- As fucked up as it sounds, he gets excited one day when he spots you getting home super late one night in an oversized hoodie with mascara stained cheeks. And he considers just marching right across the hall when he notices you took all the posts and highlights of that fucker down on your insta.

- He’s even more excited when you finally show up to one of his parties. That is until you get wasted way too fast because you haven’t been out in years and end up crying over your shitty ex boyfriend.

- Katsuki Bakugo, who lets you make it up to him the next day by using you like a toy.

- Bakugo, who says the nastiest things when he’s deep inside of you.

“All my friends wanna fuck you, you know? But I get to go first”

“Can’t believe you were hiding this slutty pussy from us this long”

“Always knew you were a fucking slut”

“Your loser boyfriend ever fuck you like this?”

“Stop mph! fucking running from it!”

-He has your face pressed into the mattress, a hand on your head and one of his feet planted flat on the cushion. You’re drooling due to the way he drills into you, fucking you like he hates you.

- You guess you should have expected him to be so rough. Tough exterior and all but this is so much more than you could have ever imagined. He does not even give you a second to breathe, constantly snatching every bit of air from your lungs with each powerful thrust.

-His headboard bangs against the wall obnoxiously, he warns you not to hide your pretty little noises either or else says he’ll fuck them out of you. He even tells you to shut the fuck up when you whine about your neighbors-or Kiri.

-Katsuki Bakugo who has you in a headlock when you finally cum, back pressed tightly against his front as he thrusts up into you. His free hand pinching and rubbing your clit furiously. “Cum f'me pretty, then I can fill you up till it's coming out yer fucking mouth". His words are enough to make you gush around him, tight pussy squeezing him like a vice. But he’s not done talking shit yet, of course not.

"Better not waste a fuckin' drop. Maybe Kiri'll wanna fuck it back into you. He’s into nasty shit like that"

- Your cry out at his words, his finger remains at your clit but now rubbing at a much slower pace which ensures you let out small whines every few seconds. Still fucking into you so brutally your body begins to tremble. "You like that? Dirty fucking girl, want us to share this sloppy pussy?"

"Mm yes! P-please! Won't tell anyone" You nod frantically, a part of you so fucked out you are unaware of what you're saying. This is so unlike you, truly.

Bakugo's dick made you go dumb, fucking stupid actually. It sets the catalyst for a series of the most unhinged decisions of your life.

-It feels like little explosions eat up his entire body as his seed finally shoots inside you, there's so much it has already begun to leak out. "No, no, no! Keep it in there!" He slaps your ass and lets you finally fall back down into the mattress.

You're a crying mess, you don't even notice it. But he does, of course. Grabbing your (face) cheeks and squeezing with one hand. "Aw pretty girl, you cryin already?"

- Katsuki Bakugo, who is being a complete hypocrite, he's fucked out already too, fucking himself into overstimulation currently as he fucks his own cum back into you. "Such a crybaby. M'not even done with you yet"

Ejirou Kirishima as The Big Boy!

-Ejirou Kirishima-Katsuki’s roomate who invites you over to his parents house (who are out of town) so the two of you can ‘workout’ in their home gym. One month after what took place with his best friend.

-You can’t help but remember the blonde’s words, something about the red-haired man fucking his cum back into you. He wouldn’t, would he?

-He’s such a sweetheart! He opens and closes the car door for you, makes you a protein shake with his own recipe! Even brings you a little snack and tells you how pretty you look in your gym set! The man has even offered to take you and your roomate’s trash out before because ‘ladies shouldn’t be walking around by themselves at night’. He’s just such a gentleman, you can’t imagine him doing anything nasty in his life.

-Ejirou Kirishima who works out for all of about twelve minutes before lifting you up against the wall and gives you the most passionate and sensual make out session you have ever experienced.

-He moans against your lips sweetly, going down to kiss every inch of skin within reach.

-Ejirou Kirishima-who has the biggest, fattest cock you have ever seen in your life. It almost scares you because how the hell is that going to fit?!

He notices your worries, softly smooching the corner of your lips. “You can do it pretty girl, I know you can” His hand gropes your ass, a harsh contradiction to his sweet voice. “Bakugo says you’re a good girl, huh?”

-He manages to bully his fat member inside of you. The stretch is delicious yet painful. You squeal as he sinks deeper, nails digging into his bare shoulder.

“Shit baby you’re so tight for me” The man exhales loudly, hot breath hitting your bare skin. “Wanna hear you scream”

-Ejirou Kirishima, whose wish is answered when he finally picks up the pace. The ease in which he fucks you, holding your weight up entirely only adds to the experience.

-He’s just so strong and big. It makes your ankles cross and eyes roll to the back of your head. He’s so proud of it too-as he should be. He works very hard to maintain such a physique, he does it not only for himself but for pretty girls like you.

It’s obviously working, whimpers and whines escape your lips. Mouth stuck in a constant ’o’ shape and eyebrows furrowed. “S-so big! Fuck!” You cry, giving your very best attempt to bounce back on him. But it’s hard, almost every signal in your body is telling you to push away. It’s too much, the pain of his fat tip smushing against your walls. Yet another part deep within had you convinced that you can take it.

-You open your eyes to catch a glimpse of the sinful sight through the wall length mirror. His frame is so large you are hardly able to make yourself out, whole body covering yours. His back muscles on full display, you watch them move under his skin. The back of his bulging biceps accompanied by little grunts. “So strong Kiri ohmygodd! So good so good, so big!”

-“You like when i use you like a little dolly?” You nod, unable to speak even if you tried. “Love this big dick, huh?”

“Yes! Yes!” You are screaming at this point, in a way you have never done before. You had no idea this amount of pleasure was even possible. You should have been single a looong time ago. “Love it s’much!”

-“Cum on this dick gorgeous! Make a mess please!” He’s so cute, he still says please.

And you’re such a good girl that you just have to do what you’re told-juices gushing all over his abs and dripping down his thighs.

-Ejirou Kirishima who kisses the ache in your thighs before fucking you again in the hot tub. And then in his childhood bedroom.

Hanta Sero as The One Who Talks You Through It!

- Hanta Sero, who somehow becomes your smoking buddy after being paired up with you on a project. He was so funny and cute and you just had to get his snapchat!

-Hanta Sero, who knows his friends had already fucked you but doesn’t really care who came first or second. He just wants you…..bad.

- After a couple smoke sessions he decides to just go for it, glossy red eyes taking in your entire figure as he moves closer. Grabbing your chin and kissing you skillfully, tongue rolling against yours.

- Hanta Sero, who has you in his lap, chin resting on your shoulder with your legs spread wiiide. His legs trap you on either side so you are unable to move and squirm away the way your body tells you to. You have no choice but to take his long digits that are furiously fingering your cunt.

You’re a moaning mess, head thrown back against his chest as he coos in your ear, talking your head (more like pussy!) off. “Ahhh does it feel good mamas?”

Brushing a piece of hair out of your face he continues, strong thighs still keeping yours in place. “Such a pretty little princess pussy”

- Most moments you have no idea what he is even saying, every single one of his words goes straight down there. “So messy” His hand places a firm, wet smack! against your soaked core. “Hear how wet you are for me?” He continues to finger you, picking up the pace with an almost obnoxious squelching noise that accompanies his every move.

The vibrations of his movements shoot up your body, his fingers feel robotic with the way they do not falter. And then he starts curling them to brush against that sweet spot.

It’s not much longer after when you squirt all over his fingers and sheets with a loud cry. And he is sure to maintain eye contact when he brings his hand up to lick clean of all your juices, muttering something about how sweet you taste.

- Hanta Sero, who has you on your back a minute later-one hand on the headboard and the other keeps him steady as he pounds into you, lazy red eyes stuck on all of the faces you make. The way your titties bounce with his thrusts. You’re driving him crazy.

-“Fuck, Fuck princesa. You feel how deep I am?” You only nod, his long curved dick takes the words out of your mouth. “M’in your fuckin’ guts”

-He brings his body down to get closer to you, arms hooking beneath your shoulders to bring you closer to him. One of his hands pushes your head down to force you to watch his sloppy thrusts with the way he slams! you down on his cock.

-Hanta Sero who gets excited when you finally have the energy and brain capacity to talk, telling him all about how good he is. “So deep Hanta….can feel you in my tummy” You pout and it makes his dick twitch. You’re too fucking cute.

He almost regrets putting a condom on, he wishes he could feel the real thing. Make no mistake though, he is enjoying himself to the point where his toes begin to curl as he blabbers nonsense. “Taking it so good for me baby, such a good princess”

-His dick is firmly pressed against the spot you need it the most. You are unable to stop the squeals and whimpers coming from deep within, sloppily rocking your hips against him. He takes notice of this, locking his hips to continue to rub against the spongy walls that make you cry out like this. “Let it out mamas, wanna see you cum again”

- You don’t need much encouragement to coax the orgasm out of you-one that is mind-melting and makes your insides feel fuzzy. “Mm Hanta! Cumming f’you baby”

- Hanta Sero, who moans so loudly when he feels your walls spasming around him. He has to grab onto your hair for comfort-you’re practically choking his dick.

- Hanta Sero, who leans in close to whisper in your ear as you flutter around him. “Just like that baby” He kisses your cheek, a sweet gesture which is quite opposite to the mean snap of his hips. “Come on, come on give me more”.

- He’s practically snatching your soul out of your body, your mouth agape and wide as your body trembles, listening to his words. “Just a lil bit more mama, I know you can do it”

“C-cant!” You squeal but your legs betray you, locking themselves around his hips, he couldn’t move much even if he wanted to. So he uses the opportunity to do slow, exaggerated thrusts into you.

Tears prick your eyes as you do nothing but take it and whine. Hanta keeps on talking though. “Shhh it’s okay mamas….I know you can take it” And then he squishes your cute little face in his hand. “Right? You gonna take more f’me?”

-“Y-yeah”

- Hanta Sero, who is such a blabbermouth that you should not be surprised to find out how talkative he is during sex. Who continues to let you know you are welcome over any time and sends you the filthiest text messages. Ones you respond to with cute little emojis letting him know you’ll be on the way.

Denki Kaminari as ‘The Munch!’

- Denki Kaminari, who feels left out as he is the only one in the friend group who hasn’t fucked you! The other guys have nothing but good things to say about you and even still consider you to be a friend! So why can’t he have a taste? He’s the one who pointed you out to them in the first place!

- Denki Kaminari, who finds himself sitting next to you one night at a end of year party. The two of you being DD’s for the night, which means you are the only sober ones. And you talk for hours, seeing as you’ve known each other since freshman year and have remained relatively close since then. Which means he’s not afraid to ask.

“So what’s wrong with me?”

“Huh?”

“You fucked all my friends and not me? I’m hurt!” He sounds genuine, a hand placing itself atop his chest in offense. “Is it something I did?”

“Shut up!” You grumble, taking a hit off of his puff. “And no! Of course not!” You chuckle, blowing out the smoke directly in his face. “Just didn’t know you even thought of me that way”

- Denki Kaminari, who scoffs at your words. And here he was thinking it was obvious. Even back when you had a boyfriend he would always tell you that he could treat you better but you always thought he was joking! He was a jokester, that was like his thing!

- Denki Kaminari, who is deadly serious when he leans in closer to ensure you hear his every word perfectly.

“M’not hotheaded and ripped like Bakugo. Or big and strong like Kirishima. Or as tall as Sero or nearly as charming”

“You think Sero’s charming?” You laugh.

“Dude’s got game” Denki loves the way you giggle. “But I got something none of those fuckers do”

“Mm?” You raise an eyebrow curiously, a sweet smile on your face as you lean in closer. Lips mere inches away from him. “What’s that?”

“Promise my tongue is better than any of those assholes. Can make you see stars using just my mouth” He speaks so smugly, so confident.

It’s the most attractive he’s ever looked.

- You take him up on his offer, letting him lead you to an empty room upstairs where he doesn’t even wait for the door to click before smashing his lips against yours. Hungry hands grab at your waist and ass, then your tits and hair.

-Denki Kaminari, who keeps true to his word and has you seeing stars in a matter of minutes. Whose hands are holding yours as his face is nuzzled into your heat, breathing in your scent as his tongue works its magic Whose dick twitches every time you squeeze his hands and every time you try to let go he grabs it back, interlocking your fingers with his.

- His tongue swirls circles around your clit, causing your hips to bump up against his face-which makes him moan into your folds. Pulling apart for a second to admire the glossy mess before diving right back in

-Denki Kaminari, who is almost pathetic with the way he slurps you up like he is starving for your pussy. Constantly moaning into it as if he is getting any kind of relief out of it. Oh but he is, he could stay between your thighs for hours.

Whose skilled tongue somehow knows all the right places, eventually he has you rocking against his face as the only thing audible besides your loud desperate moans are the even more desperate slurps coming from him.

- He fucks you with his tongue until he is so deep that it makes him gag. But he does not stop, not even when his dick begins to ache from how hard it is. He fucks you with bis tongue until it hurts and you are a shaking mess, having finished three times already. No fingers involved.

-Denki Kaminari, who somehow convinces you to ride him into oblivion afterwards, shaky legs and all.

- His whines are so pathetic and hot that it unlocks something deep within you. A feeling you had never experienced before. Causing you to go rough on him, pulling his hair and whining when he begs you to do it harder! You aren’t sure who’s moaning more between the two of you.

- Denki Kaminari, who has shivers go up his spine whenever you dig your nails into his biceps, hips bouncing up and down as if your life depends on it. “Please scratch me up baby! Feels s’good”

- You even choke him a bit which is a thing you had never done before but just felt so right in the moment. The way he moans confirms that he enjoys it just as much as you did.

- When he cums, he cums hard, thick ropes spurting out into the condom as he moans freely. His hips rock up into you for more stimulation as he rides out his high.

“Oh shittt didn’t know you were such a freak Y/N!” Denji jokes, poking you in the side and you giggle.

He moans at the way you clench around him when you laugh. It makes him want to make you laugh more.

- Denki Kaminari, who showed you just how much you enjoy whiny subby men!

- And even to this day the whole friend group does a double take when you walk by, always offering to do stuff for you or hold open doors. (Except Bakugo of course). But they all make it more than obvious you are welcome into their beds anytime.

[alexrosa13]

What a Lie

Caleb x female!reader

Genre: fluff/suggestive/angst

Warnings: minor writing suggestive content!, reader is the mc, mention of past trauma/mental health problems, Caleb getting slapped (out of love), reader cries... a lot... cause that's how I feel with his comeback

Note: husband came back from the military guys, it was written for the official contest made by L&Ds, if you'll like my work please consider sneaking a peak to my Twitter/X and leaving something behind to boost my chances for the win, thank you <3 (should I write some additional memories later on? expect something hot)

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I feel a little nauseous and my hands are shaking

I guess that means your close by

My throat is getting dry and my heart is racing

I haven't been by your side

In a minute but I think about it sometimes

Even though I know it's not so distant

Oh no, I still wanna reminisce it

Memories of your childhood started flowing down your mind.

The day when you scraped your knee and Caleb took you back home on his back, while trying to calm you down, eventually his ramblings managed to distract you from your cries and a joyful laugh replaced sobs, laughing with tears still lingering in your eyes.

The day when a boy in your school pushed you with succeeded in making you fall and drop all the things previously in your hands. Caleb was close by that day, and noticing the situation rush to your aid, 'threatening' the boy, which almost made him pee his pants, since Caleb was older, and of course that the older kids in school were always scary. After that he helped you gather your things and back at home you thanked him with a bone crushing hug.

Or the day where you were running around with water guns, playing with the other kids in your neighbourhood. By the end of the fun you were both left with wet clothes and hair, but the joy was worth it. Noticing you shaking slightly when the wind blew towards you, he was quick to wrap you in his hoodie and take you home, when you spend the evening playing the games until your granny had to force you two to go to bed.

I think of that night in the park

It was getting dark and we stayed up for hours

What a time, what a time, what a time

You'd cling to my body

Like you wanted it forever

What a time, what a time, what a time

For you and I

What a time, what a time

For you and I

First day of Summer, your teenage years. Right after lunch you two left for a 'short trip' for ice cream, somehow spending the rest of the day walking around, sharing the memories, the one that you made together and those created with and by your friends.

Talks about the future weren't as scary as they will be someday.

Without noticing it the sun has set, your silhouettes visible only because of the street lamps. You were lying on the grass in the park, the area quiet with no one else around. You watched as the fireflies danced in the distance.

"Caleb?" your quiet voice caught the attention of the older boy to you.

"Yes?" his response calm. He heard the hint of the hesitation in your voice.

"Promise to stay with me forever?" your voice broke down, he looked at you, the tears visible in your eyes, threatening to fall down.

"Pipsqueak..." one of his hand went to brush the tear that managed to leave your eye "I promise." he stroked your hair, in a soothing gesture.

None of you knew what the future was planning to throw your way, but both of you believed one thing: that you will stay together, always.

I know we didn't end it like we're supposed to

And now we get a bit tense

I wonder if my mind just leaves out all the bad parts

I know we didn't make sense

I admit it that I think about it sometimes

Even though I know it's not so distant

Oh no, I still wanna reminisce it

Living with the traumatic past wasn't easy. No matter for how long the thoughts of the past events left your mind, they always had a way to remind you of their existence. Never ending cycle.

"It's okay, ssh, it's okay." his gentle voice broke through the sound of your sobs, it was middle of the night, your mind played tricks on you making you mistake what's the reality and what's not.

After about half an hour of silently crying into you pillow your unconscious mind made you walk to his room.

You opened and closed the door silently, he stirred in his bed, clearly not asleep yet and looked your way.

"Pipsqueak?" you looked at him, but your consciousness was closed inside of you, he felt like he was starring at the ghost.

He sat down fast, brushing the covers aside and rushing your way, hiding you in his arms the moment he found himself close enough.

The sobs shook your body with your head falling to snuggle in his neck. The voices in your mind quieting down, leaving only silence behind. The warmth of another human body next to you kept you grounded, making you come back to reality.

You spend minutes, maybe even an hour in his arms, not moving, just listening to his breathing and the beating of his heart. He didn't ask, he just stayed there with you knowing that you needed him, giving you time to calm your thoughts down.

When he noticed your steady breathing and the exhaustion visible on your face he picked you up, carrying you to his bed. He lay down behind you, dropping the covers over you two. One of his arms worked as your pillow, while the second hugged you to him. Slowly you started falling asleep, with a calm mind, last thing that you heard before you doze off was:

"Goodnight pipsqueak." and a gentle kiss on your head.

I think of that night in the park

It was getting dark and we stayed up for hours

What a time, what a time, what a time

You'd cling to my body

Like you wanted it forever

What a time, what a time, what a time

For you and I

What a time, what a time

For you and I

The last night with Caleb home before he had to leave for his aircraft training. You were happy for him, of course you were, but... That didn't help the feeling of sadness that came together with the realization that you won't see him for months to come.

No matter how selfish you wanted to be and keep him with you, you knew how important it was to him, you wouldn't dare to get in the way of his dreams. Shutting down your phone you stood up from your bed, making your way to the room where you always felt the safest. That would change after that room won't have a resident anymore.

You knocked gently on the door, almost sure that he wasn't asleep yet, and your suspicions were confirmed with a quiet 'come in' from the other side of the door.

You grabbed the handle and opened them, they let out a quiet creak.

You noticed that most of his stuff was packed. The messy room that used to be full with various little things now clean and empty. You couldn't help the feeling of your heart tightening up. Finally your eyes meet his, he looked at you expectantly, he probably guessed that you'll visit him tonight, just like you did every time you needed him.

He stayed quiet, waiting for you to say your thoughts, which you did with a shaky voice and your eyes dropping down.

"I'll miss you." you didn't talk about your deep thoughts and problems much, most of the time deciding to stay silent and enjoy the peace that came with the presence of the other. It was also probably because you knew each other so well that you knew what the other was thinking about, no words needed.

"Oh c'mon pipsqueak, I'll be back before you know it. I'll be texting and calling you whenever I can. You won't even notice me gone in between all of your plans and training to become a hunter." he smiled, unbothered. He wasn't worried about your relationship changing for the worse, you two were too close to just forget about each other and start treating the other like a stranger.

Noticing your sulking form he stood up from where he sat on his bed, placing the photo of you and him that he was looking at before you came to him back on the shelf. He walked up to you, grabbing your chin with one of his palms, forcing you to look him in the eye.

"You know; goodbyes are not forever." the smirk on his lips made you scoff. He really couldn't treat that situation seriously, could he?

"So you won't miss me huh? Okay, got it." your voice let out the annoyance you felt at his indifferent demeanor.

"Of course I will, but I know that I'll see you again." his hand went up to mess up your hair, you caught his arm with both of your hands, but because of the sudden movement you stumbled a bit, your body falling his way. Luckily his fast reflexes managed to catch you in time, pulling you close to his body in the process. Your breaths stopped for a moment, your hearts starting to beat faster, none of you wanted to look the other in the eye right now.

The atmosphere in the room changed. Something unspoken lingered in the air. For the first time in forever you wondered what the other was thinking with no clue if your suspicions were right. You didn't know if you should move away, stay in one place or... Move closer..?

You felt his hand gently caressing the back of your neck.

"Tell me you don't want this." he whispered with his head dropping to yours, it was one of those times when you got a reminder of just how tall he is. Your forehead rested on his torso, the words not leaving your mouth.

What did you want?

Uncertainly your hands went up to his face, your palms gently caressing his cheeks. The hand on your neck made you raise your head up, the other one coming to hold your chin, his finger softly tracing your lips.

"Please tell me you don't want this." his voice even quieter than before, the words leaving his mouth with his face centimetres away from yours.

"I don't want to lie." you swallowed nervously, was it really happening?

He looked at you for a moment longer, trying to catch a glimpse of uncertainty in your eyes, finding none his body decided what to do before his mind could.

His lips came to meet yours, slow and gentle at first, but the very moment you reciprocated the affection his hand left your neck to wrap itself around your waist, pulling you even closer to him and deepening the kiss.

You lost track of the time, everything else not important right now, millions of unspoken feelings finding their way onto the surface. You felt a tear tracing your cheek, not even sure when you started crying.

After what felt like seconds, which probably were a couple of minutes, you broke the kiss with the need to breath. You opened your eyes, your gaze finding his, the longing in his eyes will probably stay in your mind forever to remind you of him every time you'll try to fall asleep.

Once more, there was no need for words, both of you knew what the other one thought and wanted, your heavy breathing met the quietness of the night, and in the next second your hands grabbed his t-shirt to pull him back in harshly, his palms matched your fierceness, pulling you by your waist and the back of your head. The noises of heated kisses and quiet moans filled the air, you hugged his neck, standing on your toes to get even closer to him.

You'll miss him so much.

For you and I

For you and I

For you and I

First months without him made you feel so lonely, it felt so weird to not be able to walk up to his room and hug him to sleep, or wake up without him making you breakfast.

He kept his promise, calling and texting you when he could, but that didn't happen often, since rookies were rarely given a time to spend on their phones.

You were staring at the photo of him smiling with the necklace you gifted him perfectly visible, the plushie that he won at the arcade for you when you were teenagers tightly wrapped in your arms.

The night you spent with him months ago still in your head. That man turned your world upside down, changing your attitude towards him drastically. You felt like you were fourteen having a crush on the boy from your class and planning all the things on how to win him over.

Soon he'll be here. Where he belongs, with you.

But until then the memories of him will have to somehow be enough.

You played the voice message he sent you a couple days ago again. The words leaving his mouth were already memorized by you, his voice brought you a sense of calm nothing else could.

He was cruel to leave you for so long after sharing his feelings for you the night of his departure.

But... You were cruel too, letting him have you the night he had to leave, making him leave with the memories of your warmth and comfort, with the memory of your quiet pleads to remember about you and to come back to you, you were so fragile in his arms, the walls you build up around yourself collapsing the moment his skin touched yours underneath the covers, with the moon being the only witness to your love.

What a time, what a time

For you and I

What a time for you and I, yeah

What a time, what a time

For you and I

The tap out ceremony after finishing the training was today, Granny let you go there by yourself, saying something about having a doctor appointment. Caleb will stay at your apartment for the first days, since your rooms in your childhood home are currently in a not really good state.

You were excited and nervous at the same time, your heart threatened to break through your chest with how strong it was beating.

You got there and saw all those people, soldiers, standing in perfect rows, people looking for their kids, siblings, lovers. A lot of noises full of joy could be heard from everywhere around you. Slowly, you walked forward, trying to catch a glimpse of the boy who's been living in your mind rent-free for the past months.

It took you some time, but you finally noticed him. He wasn't facing your way, so he had no way of knowing you were already there. You felt your eyes getting glossy, and your hand went to cover your mouth. You stood there for a moment, finally seeing him in person after what felt like forever spent without him by your side. How much has he changed?

Not letting your thoughts distract you for too long you finally took slow steps his way, walking between the lines of other people waiting for their close ones.

You found yourself right before him, his gaze stayed focused ahead of him, emotionless expression still on his face, waiting for your touch.

You took a moment to admire him. He looked almost nothing like the boy that left, a man now, one could say. Did he change on the inside too? Is he still your Caleb?

With a deep breath you stepped even closer to him, your arms behind your back. Standing now centimetres away from him, your smile widens and finally you shoot up to embrace him in the hug that you needed for months now.

He didn't miss a beat, instantly hugging you back, and picking your body above the ground.

"I told you I'll be back." he said, with his mouth right above your ear. You didn't respond, just hugged him even tighter, letting the gesture speak instead of words.

You were finally home.

I think of that night in the park

It was getting dark and we stayed up for hours

What a lie, what a lie, what a lie

You'd cling to my body

Like you wanted it forever

What a lie, what a lie, what a lie

For you and I

What a lie, what a lie

For you and I

He was right there, the same..? But different...

How could he... After so long...

Your expression gave out the million thoughts stucked in your head.

You started at him, was it really him?

You had enough of crying after that guy, blaming yourself for what happened, that you should go inside of the house with him, or maybe said one sentence more to keep him outside, anything.

And now... It all didn't matter. He was here, changed, but still him.

More tears lingered in your eyes, you felt like you were drowning, couldn't breath, your heart racing. It couldn't be real. He couldn't be real.

He looked at you indifferent, as if not moved at all by the sight of you before him.

You felt your knees giving up, before collapsing under you and sending your body to the ground. But before you could hit the hard floor your body stayed above it, before gently getting lowered down. You heard steps coming closer to you, but your eyes stayed focused on the floor, not really understanding what is happening right now.

You felt a hand holding your chin, making you raise your head and look the man in the eyes. It couldn't be...

"What? You don't recognize me anymore?" his tone cold, was it really the very person who plugged your mind everyday?

"Caleb..?" your voice so quiet that you almost didn't hear it yourself. You saw his gaze soften, more and more tears started filling your eyes. You started at him, not knowing what to do now. You believed he was dead for so long.

"It's me. I'm back." he said, his tone changing for something softer this time, dropping his cold demeanor.

You raised your hand slowly towards his face, he looked at it for a moment, letting you take your time with processing the situation.

But then you did something unexpected...

The sound of a slap echoed in the room, he looked at you in shock. You did not just do that.

"That..." your voice shook, with sadness, but also anger "Is for your 'death'." the last word came out snarky.

"Pipsque-" you pulled him by his uniform's collar crushing your lips with him, he stayed frozen, his eyes widening. He wasn't expecting that. Before he had a chance to reciprocate your angry kiss you already pulled back, pushing him away from yourself.

"And this... Is for your return." tears fell down your face, he stared at you in awe. You weren't crying. Little drops were still making their paths on your face, but there were no sobs, no shaking of your body, not even sadness left in your eyes. There was numbness... But also hope in your gaze. One thing that he wished at this very moment was that he'll manage to make everything okay. He has to make everything okay.

For you and I (For you)

For you and I (For you)

For you and I (For you and I)

For you and I, yeah

[phoebepheebsphibs]

OOH THIS IS INTERESTING…

My first (and current) fav superhero is Spider-Man. I loved how genuinely real he felt, how he was the only superhero (that I knew of) who would crack jokes mid battle. While most superheroes were portrayed as depressed or dark or overly serious or filthy rich, he was a broke high school kid and that was relatable (despite the fact that I discovered him when I was like 4 years old).

My fav turtle depends on the iteration. I’ve only really seen Rise and those two live action films from like 2014, though I’ve seen some of the 2012 series. Across the board, Donnie’s always been my fave — not just because of purple, but he was the only one who was actually concerned with the plot and he wasn’t completely incompetent lol. But Rise Mikey stole my heart instantly, which was a shock since usually he was my least favourite. Rise Donnie is my second fav tho.

Mm. Relax. What’s that?? (Not exactly joking, but I guess writing stories would be my relaxer. Or watching Agatha Christie murder mysteries like Poirot or Marple!)

I. Love. Platypuses.

Reading’s always been tough for me (undiagnosed ADHD), but my fav book series is definitely PJO. Currently my mom and I are watching Marple together each night!

I am an introvert. People exhaust me.

Fav thing in my room… apart from my bed and laptop…? Maybe my art board, or — oh, oh! I know! I have a giant post-it that has notes from old college friends and coworkers.

Uh…. I’ve never had cider and I’m not a fan of hot chocolate. I’ve been told I make the best coco, tho! Which is weird, considering I won’t drink it…

Fav dog breed would be my dog, Coulson. He’s a mixed breed, but we think he’s tiger-pitbull boxer mix with some beagle in him.

I do not know my zodiac, and I do not care. No offense to anyone, but astrology is not my thing.

And NOW FOR YOU UNFORTUNATE SOULS —

Name a core memory? (My first trip to Disney World and watching the fireworks on my father’s shoulders. 🥹)

Sweet or sour pickles? (Sour. Sweet pickles should not exist.)

What colour would you assign your soul? (I think like… purple or even a tealish blue for me.)

Dream job? (Animator/content creator.)

What’s a word you can’t pronounce no matter what? (I said “par-meeshian” instead of parmesan once. I have yet to live it down.)

A story — book or fanfic — you’d like to recommend? (I read “The Humans” for college and always recommend it for grown ups. It was a COLLEGE BOOK, so there are some moments that aren’t great for kids. Plus a lot of swearing. But overall an engaging and interesting story that I loved.)

Name a fictional character you would fight on sight? (Krang Prime. I’ve never wanted to annihilate a character so much.)

A message you’d want to give your younger self? (You aren’t a freak, you’re just programmed differently than other humans and that’s okay. Also, don’t hold yourself to achievements or standards that you feel make you important. You’ll be okay.)

A song you are OBSESSED WITH? (Creating Monsters by Set It Off)

Breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Or, the forbidden choice, POST MIDNIGHT SNACK??? (Lunch or post-midnight lol)

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau @littlemissartemisia @truths33k3r4 @cheetochild989 @exhaustedwriterartist @psychologicalwarclaire

Ten questions to ask a mutual

Instructions: prev asks ten questions and you answer them, then ask ten new ones and tag ten people to keep the chain going! I’ll go first

What is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten? (For me it’s the time I accidentally drank ants)

do you like purple or green more? (For me it’s a 50/50 I love them both)

what is your favorite two color color combo? (For me it’s purple and gold)

are you a cat or dog person? (Dogs 100%)

what is your favorite painting (Miranda by John William Waterhouse)

Mountains or beaches? (Mountains)

what’s your favorite dessert? (Lemon bars)

are you right or left handed? (Right but I used to be left handed)

salty or sweet? (Sweet)

summer or winter? (Winter)

I’m tagging 11 people but it’s whatever

@wra1th-k1ng

@bladevoyager

@tragedyanddust

@kindred-spirit-93

@urfavgreekmythnerd

@sickneurotic

@ry-diggity

@we-are-but-dead-stars

@thestarryfalls

@tamaruaart

@hermesmoly

[spiderfunkz]

MAMA, I'M CHASING A GHOST

pairings. cho hyun-ju x guard!reader

cw. femxfem, heavy angst, no happy ending, canon violence, mentions of a transphobic environment, mentions of hyun-ju's & reader's not so nice past, reader is implied to be dead by the end of this.

author's note: to the anon who sent this, are you okay? hehe, anyways i apologize for any mistakes that i made in this fic. i'm working on a lot of requests right now, but still feel free to send some of ur ideas! it just might take a while🫶🏻

you never really knew yourself.

for you, life felt like a long train ride with no destination. you've felt this way since you were just a child, but it was different then. you used to have a small spark of imagination and hope, but now that is long gone. you couldn't really pinpoint important memories of your past, you barely remember anything, it's just all just a blur.

but there is one thing that you still remember. something that you have yet learned to forget. it's the closest thing you have to happiness.

cho hyun-ju.

a person you met so unexpectedly. during a rainstorm where your parents had forgotten to pick you up from school, she was the only person that insisted on keeping you company. you didn't understand why she did that, you still don't understand it now. she was kindness personified. from that day on, she would keep you company at school, she was your first and only friend.

then, her hair was short, shorter than yours. she was tall, taller than you but only by a couple of inches. she always had a sweet smile, one you could never forget. it's depressing how hyun-ju is the only thing you could still recall without fail.

your friendship with her didn't change. not even until high school. you are still you, unfortunately. hyun-ju's changed, but she's still herself, fortunately.

she has expressed her struggles about her identity to you. you listened to her, you tried your best to understand, and you supported her. you ignored all the mean insults people would throw at you for being friends with her. you try to teach hyun-ju how to ignore them like you, but obviously it was harder on her.

you promised to always be on her side. to be there for each other no matter what. there was nothing that could keep you away from her. she was the light you needed in your life. one day, you give her the idea to run away. together. to finally be able to live the lives you've both wanted.

sadly, that idea was cut short.

you disappeared without a trace. hyun-ju didn't get a text, a call, or even a letter. she had so many questions, and there were no answers to them. she needed you, you knew that. and if you were given the chance to speak at her during those times, you'd say you needed her as well.

but you didn't, you couldn't. she thought you were gone, like gone gone. people speculated the same.

you wished you were, it would've been easier.

now, you work as something little you would refer to as a monster. you don't know what drove you into this but you were desperate. this was the only thing that gave you the money to continue living. a good amount of it too.

it's been a while since you've been doing this.. guard job. the guilt has built up like crazy. if there was something that managed to fill that guilt even more, you'd break.

and now you're feeling what it's like to break.

bastards. is what you wanted to say to the other guards for leaving you behind. now you're held hostage. at gunpoint. no weapon was near enough to defend yourself with, you are utterly helpless.

"take it off." the man demanded, you complied with barely any hesitation, you knew this was gonna be your last moments. you silently pray that you are wrong.

mutters and whispers were exchanged, you guess they weren't expecting a woman to be under the mask. "that too." he gestured to your hood, your identity was now revealed to everyone. they could see you clear as daylight.

everyone could.

that's when she noticed you. you looked less lively than you used too. hyun-ju only knew for sure that it was you when you accidentally locked eyes with her. the same eyes that saw her go through one of the toughest times of her teenage-hood.

you didn't know she was here. you didn't spot her at all throughout the games played so far. it wasn't your duty to hand out meals, or to guard the restrooms, this was the only time you interacted with the players.

"gi-hun, wait." her voice was stern, "give me a moment with her."

"hyun-ju," her name made your ears ring, "we cannot waste time. the guards will come back and we have to get moving."

"it will only take a bit. i swear."

she leveled to your height. you're on your knees, body tense, heart racing. she's on her knees too now, she's calmer than you are, but her heart is racing just as fast as yours.

"y/n?" you don't know how her voice still managed to sound so gentle with you.

though you refuse to make eye contact with her.

"is this where you are now?" her words managed to sting every part of you, you don't know how to respond. she must have so many questions.

"how long have you been doing this?"

"years." your voice was nothing but a whisper.

she's beyond disappointed. "do you remember me?" how could you forget her when she was the only good thing in your life?

you nod, rather cautiously, you could sense a gun being pointed at you still. "where were you? did you leave with the intention of joining this type of work?"

you shook your head.

"could you explain to me why? just a part of it." her eyes were focused on you, for a while, all she wanted to just hug you, to slowly brush your cheek, to tell you that everything is okay.

but she would be lying.

"i'm sorry." was all that came out of you. you wanted to say more, to tell how beautiful she looks now, how happy you are for her, but you couldn't. your voice didn't allow that.

"talk to me. we both know how this is going to end." her voice kept that gentle tone, even when she knows the impending doom you'd have to face. "we have very little time, y/n."

"i'm sorry, hyun-ju," saying her name felt painful. "i was young, stupid, and desperate. i didn't know how to tell you, or how i should say it. i was struggling, it's my fault i didn't communicate," you cry, you didn't care anymore, "i needed you, and i know that you needed someone too. but i couldn't imagine you needing me any further. i'm selfish, i know. but i felt like i was losing myself."

"and you didn't care to tell me? you thought it was better to leave without a word? to have me left alone while you knew i was still figuring things out?"

you stay silent.

she still waits for a response, but she quickly realizes she won't get one.

she looks at gi-hun, you realize his gun was still aimed at you.

"never mind." those were hyun-ju's last words to you, the last words engraved in your head, everything after that felt like mockeries from death.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

found family | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: how it came to be.

word count: 5097

double the trouble masterlist

Yes this one has been re-wrote in line to fit with monkey's background, and I honestly didn't like the way I wrote the older version.

You never really understood the importance of family, after all, you grew up with an alcoholic and drug addict of a father who made it very well known he didn’t care about you from the very day you were born but meeting Leah and Jordan changed everything for you - They became your found family.

You had been a part of the Arsenal Girls’ Centre of Excellence since you were young, however, if you asked Leah then she would tell you that she’s practically watched you grow up right in front of her.

It was somewhat true at least.

You guess you can say that she has always been there, watching out for you even when you weren’t aware of it. Leah had met you when you were just nine years old, a small and scrawny kid with a magical touch on the ball.

Back when everything was simple and you were a happy kid, you lived with your grandma who was the only real family member that gave a damn about you. She was your dad’s mum but that lady adored you, fussed over you and made sure that you never went without so when she died, you were completely heartbroken.

Everything started to fall apart from there.

You were left to move in with an arsehole of a father who was nothing but neglectful, and he couldn’t have cared less about you. It wasn’t just his words that he lashed out with, but his fists too.

You never properly realised it but Leah made a promise to your grandma before she passed away. A promise to keep you safe from the man that you called your father, but social services deemed him good enough to have you back in his care.

They missed out on seeing the alarm bells. He was convincing enough to make them believe everything was fine, they didn’t see the numerous beer cans strewn around the room nor did they smell the stale smell of cigarettes lingering through the house.

Your father put on an act. It was convincing enough for people to believe for so long, that nobody realised that everything wasn’t as perfect as it seemed behind closed doors until you reached the age of 15. 

Five years you had to deal with that man, your dad being so clever to hide the truth, but even best-kept secrets have a way of coming to light eventually.

Leah, of course, always knew something wasn’t right and pieced things together with the information your grandma had given her prior to her passing away. 

Your dad never liked that and made sure to try and cut all forms of contact with her when he could.

Leah’s weekly visits to your house dwindled to nothing, and that went for phone calls as well. You were so confused why she stopped showing up, but you never realised your dad was behind it all along.

Leah never failed to show up. It was a promise she never intended to break.

It was your dad that made it more difficult to do so.

During the time of being eased into the first team, ever the observant one that she is, the woman would notice the way that nobody ever came to pick you up after training on the days that you were there.

“Where’s her dad? He’s meant to pick her up,” Leah's concern was vivid as she watched you walk out of training, your dad’s car nowhere to be seen, “She can’t walk home by herself.”

“Calm down, I’m sure there’s a reasonable excuse for him not being there,” Jordan would try to reason with her worried girlfriend, “Perhaps he’s just stuck at work.”

Leah arched her brow, pursing her lips, “I don’t like it.”

“I know you don’t, but even if you offered her a lift, you know she wouldn’t accept it. She never does,” Jordan reminded her girlfriend with a knowing look.

Her concern only got worse though when you would arrive late in the mornings, stumbling in with a messy kit and barely holding it together. The way you would scarf down any leftover snacks at the club like you hadn’t eaten a proper meal in god knows how long didn’t go a miss either.

Leah knew right there and then that something was going on, but of course you didn’t want to tell her.

You were afraid to spill the truth. You didn’t want anyone to know what was going on behind closed doors. You were terrified of your dad, and you knew you would be at the full front of his anger if you told her.

Your dad never did like Leah, or Jordan for that matter. He’d always seen them as a threat to him, even if all they wanted to do was make sure you were okay.

You just realised it, you didn’t want to upset your dad so you went along with whatever he would say in order to keep him happy. But it was still never enough.

You thought you were doing an amazing job of hiding the truth – Keeping your head down, making jokes and pretending like everything was totally fine.

Even when it wasn’t, and Leah was able to see right through it.

“Where the hell is her dad?” Leah couldn’t help but think to herself as she watched you slip out of the door alone.

You were oblivious to realise how Leah would frown every time she sees that you’re alone, or how she would shake her head when she watched you drag your feet in the morning.

And of course, she can see through you acting like a menace.

“I’m telling you Jord, there’s something seriously going on,” Leah brought up the conversation with her girlfriend again as they left training for the day, her own maternal instinct kicking in.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Jordan attempted to reassure her girlfriend as they made their way over to the car, “The little one is old enough to be able to make her own way home now, anyways.” She added.

“Yeah, but Jord, I feel there’s something more going on,” Leah murmured, her hand resting on her slightly swollen belly, “You can’t deny that you don’t feel like there’s something suspicious going on?” She asked the older woman.

“I don’t know, Le,” Jordan admitted, shrugging her shoulders, “Do you think that maybe, and don’t bite my head off for suggesting this, but do you think you might just be overthinking things? I know you care about the little one, and I know you’re not happy with how everything happened, but…”

“No, Jord,” Leah replied, biting her bottom lip as she tossed her bag in the boot of the car, “I know what you might think, and it’s nothing to do with that. It just seems like something is going on, and I have a gut instinct about this. You know what that man came be like…”

There definitely was something wrong.

Leah couldn’t shake the feeling of something being off, every day she had to stand back and watch you, with that same nagging feeling that things weren’t quite right, and it only grew stronger.

The blondes’ worry only increased, especially on one particularly miserable day when the rain was pouring down – It was the kind of relentless downpour that would soak you to the bone within seconds of being outside – Leah was driving back home from a quick check-up with the physio’s when she spotted you trudging down the road.

You were completely drenched and shivering in the thin jacket that you wore, your kit bag slung over your shoulder as you tried to shield yourself from the rain with the attempt of a flimsy hood.

“What the actual hell…” Leah’s jaw dropped in shock, her eyes widening in disbelief as she couldn’t believe the sight that she was seeing in front of her. 

You were there, walking alongside the road in the freezing rain with not a single adult in sight.

Without even thinking twice about it, Leah slowed her car down and pulled up beside you, “Monkey,” She rolled down the window and called your usual familiar nickname to get your attention, “Get in, I’m taking you home. It’s hammering it down and you’re going to get ill in this weather.”

“No, no, it’s alright,” You were quick to disagree, shaking your head as your teeth chattered from the freezing weather, “It’s not much further to walk now. I’m good.”

“Monkey, come on. Let me just give you a ride this once,” Leah was relentless in giving you a ride as she leaned over to open the passenger door, “You’re bound to get ill and I’m not going to let that happen. Your grandma would be swearing at me, wouldn’t she?”

You frowned at the mention of your grandma, even if you knew how true that was. Your grandma definitely would have something to say about that if she could see you know.

You were hesitant to agree to Leah’s offer. You didn’t want to give anything away but couldn’t deny her car’s warmth and safety, knowing it would be better than being out in the terrible weather.

“Okay,” You reluctantly gave in, sliding into the passenger seat as your teeth continued to chatter from the freezing temperatures, “Thanks,” You mumbled, trying to not meet her gaze as you stared down at your sodden trainers.

“It’s okay. You know you can get a lift of me anytime,” Leah said softly, cranking up the heating in the car to help keep you warm, not even needing to ask for your address since she’d been to your dad’s house numerous times before at the start before you started to push them both away, “So… Is there any particular reason you’re out walking alone in this weather?” She asked, trying to tread carefully and not spook you when asking questions.

“Oh, uh, my dad is working late so he couldn’t pick me up today,” You were quick to make up the excuse, knowing full well that if you asked your father for a lift home then he would have most likely laughed in your face.

Leah clicked her tongue in disagreement, “Right,” She murmured, strumming her fingers on the steering wheel, almost like she didn’t believe your words.

You barely believed them yourself.

“Listen, Monkey, you know if you ever need a ride to training or you know, back home… I don’t mind doing that again,” Leah began to talk, glancing over to try and see your reaction, “All you have to do is ask, alright? You know I’m here for you still. I’ll always be here. I made that promise to your grandma.”

“Thanks,” You murmured in a low tone of voice, although you weren’t quite sure if you would ever take her up on that offer.

Trust wasn’t something that came easily to you these days, and you had your walls built so high up around you that even Leah and Jordan, two people who had been in your life for the better part of the last several years, you found it hard to trust them.

It was the only way to protect yourself.

The next week at training, you end up being late again. This time though, you're not just dragging your feet but also feeling pale, and shaky, and you’re barely even able to stand up properly.

It’s not long before your vision has become blurred and you can feel yourself stumbling but before you drop to the floor, Leah’s there in an instant to catch you before you hit the ground.

“Whoa,” Leah held you steady in her arms as she guided you towards the bench in the changing room, “It’s okay. You’re alright. Come take a seat, yeah?” She told you, gently.

“M’ fine,” You murmured, feeling yourself being pushed down onto the hard bench, “M’ good.”

Leah, however, wasn’t so easily convinced, “No you’re not, Monkey. You can barely even stand up,” She paused, routing through her own bag to pull out a protein bar, “Here, eat this. Please.”

You didn’t hesitate to tear into it. The gnawing hunger finally eased up a little bit.

“Monkey,” Leah began as she looked at you in concern, “When was the last time you had a proper meal?” She asked in a soft tone of voice.

You hesitated to answer. Your mind scrambled to remember the last time that you sat down to eat something that wasn’t a hastily grabbed snack, “Uhm…” You stammered, the pause in your response telling Leah everything that she needed to know.

Leah sighed softly and crouched down to meet your eye level, “How about you come around our house for dinner tonight?” She suggested in her usual gentle tone of voice, “You still like pizza, don’t you? We could order that, watch a movie and just chill.”

“I… I don’t know,” You were sceptical to agree, fumbling with your fingers and fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie that you wore, “My dad’s at work, but… if I’m not back by a certain time then he’ll be worried about where I am.”

“I understand, but if your dad’s working then I don’t think he’ll mind you being with us, will he? You are keeping out of mischief then, eh?” Leah joked, lightly nudging you but the way you flinched at the sudden movement made her face flicker with concern, “How about… How about you just come for an hour? You can eat some pizza with us, and I’ll drive you home right after, yeah?”

“Okay, alright, but… just an hour though, I don’t want my dad to worry,” You begrudgingly agree with Leah, knowing that she wouldn’t let it go.

You couldn’t let your dad know where you were though. If he realised you were with Leah and Jordan then he would have hit the roof. He disliked them, for whatever reason and made it very clear that you weren’t to be around them.

It wasn’t that easy though considering you were now going to be in the same team as them.

“Deal,” Leah grinned, relief washing over her face with the promise of a warm meal and some company, even if it was just for an hour, it felt like a small victory in a battle she was determined to win.

“Jord? We’ve got a guest for dinner!” Leah called out, beaming a wide smile as she gently rested her hand on your shoulder, guiding you through the front door of their shared home.

You had never had the opportunity to come here before, but the way it was warm and welcoming was a different contrast to the cold, bleak and mould-infested house that you currently lived in. 

Jordan had already made it home before Leah, having already apparently been given a heads up ahead of you coming to their house for dinner so the pizza was already on its way.

You were weary enough to be here, your anxiety felt sky-high in fear that your dad would find out where you were.

Of course, he wasn’t at work like you said, more like down the pub instead, so maybe he wouldn’t care if you were home or not at all?

“Hey, little one!” Jordan’s cheerful smile greeted you as she appeared around the corner, “Pizza’s on its way, why don’t we make our way into the living room and you can choose a film for us to watch?”

“Hi,” You felt like a complete stranger in their home, despite knowing them for several years, fumbling with the loose strings of your club-branded hoodie before Leah gestured for you to follow her into the living room.

“I’ve ordered cheese because of Miss Picky over here,” Jordan teased, pointing her index finger in the direction of Leah, “You okay with that?” She checked.

“It’s okay, I like cheese,” You told her as you settled into your spot on the sofa, and you couldn’t help but note the various baby items scattered throughout the living room. You suddenly felt a bit curious to ask questions, “Are you going to have a baby soon?” The words came out of your mouth before you could even stop them.

“We are,” Leah agreed, her smile gentle as she rested her hands on her growing bump, “It’s only another couple of months to go until we meet our little bubba.”

“Wow,” You murmured in amazement, and you couldn’t help but feel somewhat bitter about the news, “You two are having a baby?”

Weren’t you good enough to be wanted?

“Yeah, we are,” Jordan joined Leah on the sofa, her arm casually draped over the back of Leah’s seat, “We’re really excited to meet them,” She said with a fond smile, but she failed to see the frown that appeared on your face.

“Oh… that’s cool,” You murmured, unsure what else there was to say.

Thankfully, the moment was interrupted by the doorbell ringing which meant the pizza had arrived, and you wouldn’t have to talk anymore about the subject.

“I’ll go and grab that,” Jordan offered as she got up from the sofa, already walking ahead to the front door to retrieve the pizza.

“Monkey…” Leah wanted to ask how you were, but she was afraid to even say the right word at that moment, “You know…” Her words were cut off by Jordan walking back into the living room carrying pizza boxes.

“Pizza smells great,” Jordan interjected, placing it down on the table in the middle, “Help yourself little one. There’s plenty to go around.”

“Thanks,” You were sceptical to even eat a slice of pizza, but you had to remind yourself this house was different, and you couldn’t ignore the hunger you felt in your stomach, so you reached over and picked out a piece to eat.

True to her word, Leah drove you home an hour later. Of course, your dad wasn’t there when you arrived, the lights were off and you entered the empty, stark home where you lived.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay here by yourself?” Leah’s worry kicked in, the neighbourhood you lived in wasn’t that great, but you were used to it now, “You know, you can come back to ours. You could even spend the night if you wanted?”

As much as you’d have loved to have agreed, you couldn’t. Your dad would no doubt be home at some point later that night, and you knew you would be in trouble if he came home to an empty house.

“I’ll be alright. Thanks for the pizza,” You made a quick exit out of the car, rushing to the front door and opening the door to be hit with the all-too-familiar stale cigarettes and leftover beer. 

“Bye, Monkey,” Leah murmured, that all too gut feeling returned that she couldn’t shake off as she drove off back home to Jordan.

You couldn’t let her know what was going on behind closed doors.

“Something is going on… More than what we know,” Leah brought up the conversation with Jordan again later that night as they got into bed, “I’m worried about her, Jord. Tell me you’re not worried about her as well?”

“Of course I am,” Jordan pulled back the duvet and settled in beside her, “You’re not imagining things, Le. There’s definitely something more going on behind closed doors that we don’t know about. She seems so… different. Like she’s on edge, and constantly scared.”

Leah turned to face Jordan, her brows furrowed with frustration and helplessness, “Then what do we do about it? We can’t just ignore it anymore,” She said, her voice wavering, “We both know there’s something wrong, we can’t just sit here and do nothing about it. I’ve stood by and let it happen for way too long– I know social services didn’t deem me capable of looking after her all them years ago, but I’m older now. I’m in a– We’re both in a better financial place to look after her.”

“I know, Le,” Jordan mumbled, exhaling a soft sigh as she wrapped her arms around the blonde and rested a hand on her bump, “I understand you’re worried, I get it babe, I do. I’m just as concerned about her as you are, but we can’t do anything without proof.”

“If anything happens to her, then I… I’ll never forgive myself,” Leah admitted, quietly.

Jordan nodded in agreement, “I know, all we can do for now is be there for the little one. Make sure that’s okay and nothing serious happens,” She said, “I know it’s difficult, and the social makes it impossible, but we’ll be there for her. Even if she doesn’t need us.” 

“I… I don’t like this,” Leah mumbled, her mind still restless with thoughts as she lay there staring up at the ceiling with the weight of the spoken promise heavy on her shoulders, “I promised Jean I would take care of her. I’ll do whatever I can to protect our girl. I’ve never broken that promise, and I don’t intend to.” She vowed, ready to act when the time came.

Over the next several weeks, Leah and Jordan made a more conscious effort to keep an eye on you during the time you were training with them – You tried to push them away, but they always made sure to include you in the conversations and ask about how you were doing.

Leah would often always slip you a protein bar when she noticed you hadn’t eaten much, and Jordan would offer you a ride back home, no matter if you tried to refuse it or not.

As much as they both hated to admit it, there was nothing that they could do right now without proof of anything going on.

That was until one day when something more serious happened, and both Leah and Jordan were immediately alert of the situation when you didn’t show up to training at the same time like normal.

If anyone else had been late then they wouldn’t have batted an eye, but their gut instinct that there was something further couldn’t have been more right.

“Maybe she is just running late?” Jordan suggested, weary about it.

Leah’s brow furrowed, shaking her head as she attempted to phone you only for it to go to voice mail again, “She’s not answering her phone. This is unusual for her…” That was cause for concern itself, knowing how glued to your phone you are most of the time.

“She’s not answering her texts either?” Jordan asked.

“No…” Leah exhaled a deep sigh, running her hand through her hair as she attempted to make contact again, “Her phone keeps going to voicemail, and her texts just keep saying they’re left on delivered.”

“Oh,” Jordan mumbled, unsure what else there was to say that wouldn’t further panic Leah.

There was an uneasy feeling that neither of them could shake. When you finally stumbled in the state that you did, bruised and limping, it became clear that something far worse had happened.

“Right, now do you believe me something is going on?” Leah said, urgently, her eyes locking on Jordan’s with a mix of fear and frustration, gesturing towards you while she noticed the bruise on your cheek straight away and the way you favoured one leg, “I knew it. I knew there was something wrong! Nobody else believed me, I knew I was right!”

The concern and protectiveness that Leah had for you was something else.

“I do… I do believe you,” Jordan’s face fell in shock as she took in the sight of you, swallowing a lump that formed in her throat, “But… What do we do now?”

“I’m not standing back and letting it happen any longer, regardless of what social services think!” Leah said determined, her mind already made up, “I know you might think I’m crazy, and well maybe I am, but I want her to move in with us.”

Jordan was a bit more hesitant to agree to the idea, “I… I don’t know, Le. I know you love Monkey and you’re very protective of her, but well, we’re already going to have our hands full with the little ‘un on the way. Aren’t we?” She pointed out gently, trying to remind Leah of their current situation, “Do you really think it’s a good idea? A newborn baby and a teenager, I mean it’s a lot to take on.”

“I don’t care, we can manage it– We can find a way to handle it!” Leah was now more determined than ever with this decision, “I… I know it’s a lot, but I refuse to just sit back and do nothing about this now, Jord. Monkey needs us, Jord, and if we don’t help her then, who will?”

Jordan exhaled a deep sigh, running her hand through her hair as she weighed out the gravity of Leah’s plea, she knew her girlfriend’s heart was in the right place, but the practicality of the situation still loomed large, “Le…”

“Jord,” Leah began to speak, “I made a promise to Jean, I promised her I wouldn’t let him hurt her, and if I don’t do anything now then… then I’ve just failed, haven’t I?”

“Okay,” Jordan finally gave in reluctantly, knowing there was no point in trying to argue about it with her stubborn girlfriend, who had already made her mind up about this -  After all, it would be a bad idea to try and disagree with a pregnant lady, “Alright, fine. If this is what you really want to do then I’m on board with it.”

“I do, I really do want to do this,” Leah’s expression softened, a mix of relief and gratitude washing over her as she reached out to squeeze Jordan’s hand, “Thank you! Thank you! I just… I can’t turn my back on her, not now. She needs a safe place, a real home now. She can have that with us.”

“I know, Le,” Jordan said, her grip on Leah’s hand tightening, “I know, and we’ll make it work, whatever it takes– We’ll figure it out together as a team.”

Leah nodded and gave her girlfriend a genuine smile, “As a team,” She repeated, squeezing her hand in reassurance, “Just get ready for the chaos.” She joked.

“Oh with a newborn baby and teenager under one roof? I couldn’t think of anything more chaotic,” Jordan replied playfully, pulling her girlfriend in closer, “But it could also be kind of fun, right?”

“You and I have different versions of fun,” Leah teased, a glimmer of amusement dancing in her eyes, “But yeah, it might just be the best sort of crazy we’ve ever signed up for.”

Getting your dad to agree was surprisingly easier than it should have been. It was a somewhat mutual decision, in the way that he was more than willing to wash his hands off you, and he was so disinterested in you that you swear you saw a genuine smile appear on his face for the first time since you moved in with him.

An actual genuine smile on his face which made you sad about the fact that your dad really couldn't care less about you.

Maybe it was the fact that he never got the son he so badly wanted?

“Have her then,” The man sneered, “I’ve washed my hands off her, she’s your problem now.”

His parting words stung a lot and while Leah’s hands clenched in anger, Jordan’s arm around her kept her grounded.

Leah’s eyes were blazing with anger, “You’re unbelievable,” She spat out, her tone sharp and unfiltered, “Mark, you’ve got a kid right in front of you– A kid who’s done nothing but try to survive despite you, and all you can do is shrug her off like she’s nothing? You can’t don’t even have the decency to pretend to care!”

Jordan just held Leah’s hand tighter, her silent support a calm anchor in the storm of emotions, “Let’s go, Le,” She urged softly, though her gaze was cold and unforgiving as it lingered on your father.

Leah’s anger didn’t fade, if anything, it deepened as she looked at the man who had treated you like a burden instead of his flesh and blood, “She’s not some problem to be handed off. She’s not a mistake that you can ignore. She’s a kid, she’s your kid, and the way you’ve been treating her is disgusting!”

Your dad scoffed as if was barely affected by Leah’s words, “Yeah? Well, she’s your problem now, so good luck,” He repeated in a gruff voice, “I don’t want anything to do with the brat.”

Leah’s jaw tightened, the venom in his words made her stomach churn in disgust. She opened her mouth to say more, but Jordan gently tugged at her arm with a silent reminder that nothing else could be said that would change the man in front of them.

Turning away from your dad, Leah relented as her expression softened when she looked at you, but the fire in her eyes never dimmed, “Let’s just go.”

“Come on, little one,” Jordan protectively guided you out of the house with her arm wrapped around you, Leah and Jordan helped gather the small amount of belongings that you had in this house and left, “Let’s get you out of here. Let’s get you home.”

You should have felt an instant relief leaving that house. But instead, you just felt incredibly sad that the dad who you had grown up with the last five years, regardless of how much a neglectful bastard he was, was and always would still be your dad.

A part of you foolishly hoped that one day he’d see you, really see you, and want you around.

But that never did happen though.

“I know this won’t be easy for you to adjust Monkey,” Leah noticed the flicker of sadness in your eyes and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, “But you’re not alone now, okay? We’re here and we’re not going anywhere. You’re safe, you’re safe here with us.”

Jordan nodded in agreement, giving you a small encouraging smile, “Le’s right, little one. We’ve got you,” She told you gently, “Whatever you need, whenever you need us. We’re here.”

And from there on, you were about to gain the family that you’d always deserved - A real home, with Leah and Jordan, who cared a hell of a lot about you to fight for you, even when the world seemed to have given up.

[cripplecharacters]

Are there any tropes I should avoid when making a character with gigantism/giantism?

Hello, thank you for your ask! The first thing that comes to mind is the trope of having a giant man with an intellectual disability who’s also super strong and hurts people without realizing. If you read Of Mice and Men in high school, think Lennie’s character [or for a more mild version, Fezzik from The Princess Bride]. I’ve seen this character far too many times, and the few times the author states what disability they have their traits are always the opposite of the symptoms they should have [yes disability is a spectrum and not everyone will have the exact same symptoms, but giving a normal human character super strength and saying it’s because of a disability that almost always causes muscle weakness is extremely frustrating to read].

Gigantism often comes with chronic pain, heart issues and muscle weakness, so your character isn’t going to be able to lift cars just because they’re very tall. I also want to note that just because gigantism doesn’t cause intellectual disability doesn’t mean your character can’t have both disabilities! However every author I’ve seen with a tall disabled character has given them an id because they think it’s ‘scary,’ that someone with an id cannot possibly understand ‘good’ and ‘bad’ so if they could hurt people they would [which is of course nonsense, people with id’s are just people and their size doesn’t change that].

Be sure to research what caused your characters gigantism, what their symptoms are, and don’t fall into the trap of making your character scarier, stronger or less intelligent just because of their size.

Have a lovely day!

Mod Rot

Hey!

Agree with everything mod Rot already pointed out, so here are my tips:

Don't make a race of "giant people" that are literally just humans with gigantism and don't make the character reminiscent of some fantasy race - as in "person with gigantism=orc", not "in society of elves there is an elf with gigantism", the first is dehumanizing while the second one is ok.

Another thing is to not fetishize them. Especially if they're a woman since that's where I see it the most (I guess "tall man" isn't "weird" enough for people to get as weird about it). Someone being very tall doesn't automatically make them dominant or aggressive, nor make the classic "omg step on me" comment an even remotely normal kind of interaction. It's in fact incredibly creepy.

TLDR; don't treat them like a circus freak or a sideshow. They're just a person with a visible disability.

mod Sasza

[ithilien-writes]

Ficlet prompt: buddie runs into one of their exes in public

ty so much for this prompt!! 💜 i literally cycled through all the exes in my head and it was really hard to choose tbh

(to anyone reading: these were meant to be quick scenes to help unblock me so please take them in that spirit. ie. this was written really quickly and without much editing. feel free to send me some more!!)

---

Buck, Blissful and Blasé [Buck/Eddie, G, ~1k words]

Eddie looks away for two seconds at most, he swears. Just long enough to scan the shelf for the specific detergent Buck always buys. He doesn't actually know the brand off the top of his head, but he knows it has a blue cap. So he scans the shelf for blue, finds the one he needs, and when he looks back down... Joy is gone.

His heart immediately races, but he only has to look down the aisle to spot her again, thankfully. She's just a few feet away, really, towards the other end of the aisle, and there's a woman crouched down to talk to her. Eddie all but jogs over to them, heart still a little in his throat.

"Hey, what did we say about running off?" he says when he reaches her, trying for stern but coming out a little panicked still. He reaches down and lifts her up into his arms and the woman she was with stands back up as well.

"Sorry, about that-" he starts to say, before he actually sees the woman's face, then- "Abby?"

She blinks at him from behind her glasses and he can almost see her mind whirring, trying to place him. It doesn't look like she's successful.

"Hi," she offers tentatively. "I don't- sorry, I don't think I-"

"Eddie," he offers, adjusting Joy in his arms and feeling supremely awkward. "Eddie Diaz. I used to be at the 118? We met when, uh-"

Recognition finally clicks in behind her eyes.

"Oh my God, the train collision," she breathes out. "You're the one who saved Sam's life."

Eddie huffs a little, looking away from her suddenly emotional gaze.

"That was all Buck," he says honestly, trying not to let the old frustration creep into his voice at the thought of it. It all happened years ago now.

He catches Abby smile a little at the mention of Buck, then she shakes her head slightly.

"I can't believe you remembered my name after all this time," she says. "You must really have a knack for that."

"Oh," Eddie says, somewhat awkwardly, "That's-"

He trails off, not sure how exactly to say, actually, I remember your name because my husband was still in love with you when we first met and he used to talk about you all the time.

He's saved - in a manner of speaking - from actually having to come up with a coherent response though. Because right at that moment, he sees Abby's eyes widen, and there's suddenly a very familiar voice behind him.

"Strawberry was on sale, so I got the six pack," Buck tells him, before easily taking Joy from his hands with a soft, "hey Sweetheart, come here."

Eddie gives him a beat, and then, sure enough-

"Abby? Oh my God. What are you doing here?"

He immediately moves to hug her - a little clumsily with only one arm free, Joy tucked between them - and Abby hugs him back, though she does appear slightly shell-shocked by his sudden appearance.

"We're in town visiting my brother," she answers his question, as Buck pulls back again.

The three of them just stand there for a moment then, seemingly at a loss for what else to say, until Abby glances between Eddie and Buck, and Buck catches the motion, jumping back in to make introductions.

"Oh uh, you- so I guess you remembered Eddie," he says, seemingly acknowledging the fact that they had already been in conversation when he walked up. "Uh, and- and this is our daughter, Joy."

Then, to Joy- "Joy, honey, this is my friend Abby."

Joy peaks her head back out from where she'd tucked it into Buck's neck as soon as he'd grabbed her from Eddie, and then tentatively smiles at Abby, who grins back at her.

"Hi Joy," she says. There's some sort of wistful emotion in her eyes when she looks from his daughter back to Buck that Eddie immediately - and probably irrationally - dislikes.

"Joy," she repeats again, still looking at Buck this time. "I love that."

"Yeah, well," Buck says, laughing a little and playfully tickling Joy in his arms to get her to laugh too, "we feel a lot of it, when she's around. So it's pretty apt."

"I'll bet," Abby replies warmly.

She watches them for a moment as Buck gets a little caught up playing with Joy and forgets he was having an adult conversation. Eddie's used to it. It happens... well. A lot.

"Well, I don't want to keep you guys," Abby says eventually, drawing Buck's attention back, "but it was so great to see you. We should get dinner while I'm in town."

"Yeah," Buck says, just as Eddie adamantly thinks, No thanks. "Yeah, definitely."

Abby pats his arm as she moves past him to leave and Buck watches her go with a look on his face that Eddie can't immediately interpret. It makes him a little nervous.

"We're not really gonna have dinner with them, right?" he asks, and it's at least enough to have Buck turning back towards him.

"What?" he says, like he didn't hear the question. But then before Eddie can repeat himself- "No, that's just- I'm pretty sure that's just something people say."

Eddie still can't place the emotion on Buck's face though, so he asks, a little tentative, "you okay, bud?"

The weird expression disappears as Buck finally looks at him properly, then down at Joy, tickling her again just to hear her giggle.

"Yeah, no, I just- that was so wild," he says. "I haven't thought about Abby in ages."

He tosses Joy up and spins her around so that she's riding his shoulders now, towering above the stacks, and they head off down the aisle again, already back to being preoccupied by which cereal to choose this week. Eddie shakes his head, watching them fondly for a moment before retrieving their neglected cart and heading off in the opposite direction.

He wonders what produce is on sale today.

[leona-hawthorne]

lorenzo berkshire: how a relationship would be with my favorite male manipulator <3

(@mattnott this came out of the chat we had the other day LMAO ily zoya)

on the surface, lorenzo berkshire is just that guy. he’s effortlessly charming, polite, intelligent, and the kind of person who could convince anyone he’s the perfect human being. he’s the type who walks into a room and immediately draws everyone in—not by being loud or flashy, but by knowing exactly how to make himself seem approachable, kind, and maybe even a little vulnerable. but all of it is just a mask.

enzo is a master manipulator. he knows exactly how to get what he wants, and he does it by making people think they’re in control. he doesn’t argue or beg; instead, he plants ideas like seeds in your mind. “if that’s what you think is best,” he’ll say with a soft smile, knowing full fucking well you’ll second-guess yourself. he makes you feel like every decision was yours, even though he’s been guiding you the whole time. and the worst part? you don’t even realize it until it’s too late.

emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping

enzo doesn’t argue outright, but he’s an expert at making you feel like everything is your fault. when you expresses your feelings or doubts about your relationship, he deflects and twists the narrative.

“you’re overthinking again, love. you always do this—it’s like you’re looking for reasons to fight.”

“after everything i’ve done for you, this is how you see me? it just doesn’t seem fair, babe.”

the constant emotional exhaustion of always questioning yourself and feeling like the villain slowly pushes you to the edge.

subtle isolation

enzo doesn’t tell you to stop seeing your friends or family straight up—that would be too obvious. instead, he plants seeds of doubt about them, turning you against the people who care about you.

“it’s just… don’t you think your friends don’t really understand you? they don’t see the real you like i do. they’re only here for a good time. they wouldn’t stick with you when things are hard, like i do.”

“your sister’s always been jealous of you. it’s kind of obvious when you think about it. in fact… i think i she was flirting with me at the lake trip last weekend…”

over time, you feel more and more alone, with enzo as the only person left in your corner—and even that’s suffocating.

his temper leaks through

enzo prides himself on being calm and composed, but even he can’t keep the mask on forever. when you push back—when you really challenge him—his anger surfaces.

“you think you’re better than me now? after all i’ve done just to make you happy? you should be grateful i’m still putting up with you. no one else would.”

“you don’t get to treat me like this. i deserve better than your constant doubts.”

while he doesn't resort to outright aggression, the quiet, cutting anger and emotional coldness are enough to make you feel small and utterly helpless against him.

hypercritical tendencies

at first, enzo is the type to shower you with compliments. but once he has you, the nitpicking starts. he frames his criticisms as “helping” you or “protecting” you, but they’re really about control. he wants to cut you down until his words are the only form of validation you trust; the only ones that matter.

“that dress is nice, but it’s not really your color, is it?”

“i just think you’d be happier if you didn’t spend so much time on things that don’t matter.”

it’s not that he truly thinks badly of you; it’s just his way of slowly implementing his control. the constant criticism erodes your self-esteem, making you wonder if you’re ever enough for him.

dismisses your autonomy

enzo frames his controlling nature as “taking care of you” or “looking out for you,” but it’s really about stripping away your agency.

he might make decisions for you without asking, like ordering for you at a restaurant or canceling your plans because he thinks you “needs rest.” you simply don’t get a say.

“i only did it because i know what’s best for you. you’d do the same for me if you cared as much as i do.”

over time, you realize you don’t have control over your own life anymore—and that terrifies you.

you start to feel like you’re losing your identity. the things you love—your hobbies, your friends, even your sense of self—have all been swallowed up by enzo’s world.

his fear of losing control turns ugly

when you start pulling away, enzo’s fear of losing you makes him tighten his grip. he might start tracking your whereabouts, showing up uninvited, or trying to manipulate you into staying.

“you’re not yourself lately, baby. i think you need me more than ever right now.”

“are you seriously leaving me after everything we’ve been through? i thought you were better than this. i thought you loved me—was it all a joke to you?”

his desperation exposes just how deeply insane, how utterly selfish he really is—and how dangerous it is to stay—but you still can’t help loving him.

the breaking point: seeing the mask slip

your breaking point comes when you finally see enzo for what he truly is. maybe it’s a moment of anger where his charm gives way to cold cruelty. maybe it’s realizing how isolated you’ve become or maybe it’s catching him in a lie.

“you know what? you’ll never find someone like me again. you’ll never find someone who loves you the way i do—or touches you the way i do.”

“go ahead and leave. but don’t come crawling back when you realize no one else will put up with you.”

and suddenly, the illusion you’ve clung to—the one where enzo is perfect, where his love is worth the pain—is shattered.

enzo doesn’t beg you to stay. no, he’s far more subtle. he sets the stage so that if you even think about leaving, the world around you becomes a constant reminder of him. your friends adore him. “enzo’s perfect for you,” they say, oblivious to his carefully crafted facade, oblivious to the fact that he doesn’t even want them within 50 feet of you. your family loves him because he’s gone out of his way to charm them. “he’s such a gentleman,” your mom gushes after he brings her flowers for no reason at all.

and when you confront him? he doesn’t argue. he doesn’t yell. instead, he sighs, looking at you with those soft, sad eyes. “i just wish you’d trust me,” he says, and suddenly you’re the one apologizing.

and enzo’s love isn’t love—it’s obsession. he doesn’t just want to be with you; he wants to consume you. he integrates himself so deeply into your life that it feels impossible to untangle yourself from him.

he’ll listen to all your favorite songs and tell you how much he loves them too. “this one reminds me of you,” he’ll say, and suddenly, every melody feels like it belongs to him.

he’ll watch all your favorite shows, quote them back to you, and make inside jokes so that even your comfort series becomes a part of his web.

he’ll charm your friends and family until they’re all on his side. “you’re lucky to have him,” they’ll say when you confide in them. and if you ever leave? they’ll tell you you’re making one of the biggest mistakes of your life.

“i just don’t understand,” he’ll say if you call him out. “everything i’ve ever done was for you. because i love you.”

and here’s the thing about enzo: even when he’s truly, deeply in love, he’s still toxic. love doesn’t magically make him a better person—it just changes the way he manipulates you. instead of using his charm to pull you in, he’ll use his insecurities to keep you there. “i don’t know what i’d do without you,” he whispers, and it sounds more like a warning than a confession. almost like he’s saying he’d become worthless without you.

but love does soften him in some ways. his need for control isn’t about power anymore; it’s about fear. he’s terrified of losing you, so he holds on tighter. he’s still manipulative, still controlling, but now it’s because he genuinely believes he can’t live without you.

enzo’s love is messy and overwhelming. it’s the kind of love that makes you feel like you’re drowning, but at the same time, you can’t imagine living without it. and that’s the tragedy of lorenzo berkshire: no matter what he does, you can’t help but love him anyway. even when you see his true colors, you’re already too far gone.

© leona-hawthorne 2025. please do not copy, translate or repost any of my writing.

navigation. masterlist. lorenzo berkshire masterlist.