#and you were so sure it would be a good time that you got several of your friends to sign up with you

[robertsfloyd]

Present

oscar piastri hasn't presented yet. everybody around him has, you have, but he hasn't. there he is, stuck feeling all too human. until your heat begins, that is

there is, like, no f1 abo so here i am 😭

warnings: 18+, abo dynamics (no smut but, like, what if we did a part 2? 👀)

oscar piastri was a late bloomer. a very late bloomer. he should have presented by now; everybody else on the grid had. but no, here he was at twenty-three, still not presented.

some said it was a blessing, to not have those instincts clouding your judgement while on track. the amount of times he had seen carlos sainz nearly crumble to his knees from the whiff of an omega, or lando nearly present himself because an alpha in pre-rut walked past.

a blessing, yes, but also a curse.

every new person he met spent so damn long sniffing him out, trying to work out what he was. "beta?" they normally suggested when they couldn't figure it out.

oscar would have to shake his head and admit that he hadn't present yet. he didn't know if he was an alpha, a beta or an omega. but he just wanted to get on and race.

he didn't care what he was.

even you had presented. you, his best friend, his good luck charm. the person he took everywhere he went.

the day you presented, oscar couldn't help but feel shitty. you presented at eighteen, your omega scent sweet. but that was according to everybody else. he didn't know, wouldn't know, until he presented.

"you would be so cute as a pair of omega's," somebody said to him once. an older guy, an alpha, somebody you worked with. it stirred at bad feeling in oscar's gut and had him begging you to leave your job. predatory, that was the word.

the more oscar looked, the more he saw of that in your workplace. alpha's getting too close to get a whiff of your scent, pushing your hair out of the way to attempt to get to your scent gland. the way you squirmed away from their touch, retreating towards oscar.

just how protective he felt around you should have been a dead give away.

but he would have been protective over you, no matter how he presented.

each and every one of your heats had been spent away from him. it was because he was always surrounded by so many alphas, you said to him. you could hide yourself in your room, keep yourself safe as you rode it out.

preparing for a heat with you was something oscar had gotten good at. getting you snacks, sugary, electrolyte filled drinks to get you through your heat, making sure you had the things you needed to nest.

"i wish i could have stuff that smelled like you in my nest."

but oscar didn't smell like anything. until he presented, he wouldn't smell like anything. no matter how much you tried to bury your face against his neck, against how hard you tried.

you were pretty good at tracking your heats, making sure you wouldn't join oscar at a race weekend when your heat approached.

but not this time. this time, you seemed blissfully unaware as your heat approached. maybe something had happened, something to distract you. no, you would have told oscar if something had happened.

he was your best friend, after all.

it was wednesday, media day. you had flown in with him the day before, set yourself up in your hotel room, just beside his own. everything seemed to be normal.

but then a sweet scent filled his nostrils. pastries, honey, wild flowers. whatever it was, it was so fucking sweet, going straight to his head.

several of the men around him, several of the alpha's around him, had the same reaction, eyes blown wide as they searched for the source of the scent. but oscar remained composed, continued with what he and lando were filming.

you waited behind the camera, holding your stomach. as soon as they got a little break, he was standing in front of you, holding your elbows. that sweet scent just grew all the more intense.

"i don't feel good, osc," you mumbled, staring up at him.

your eyes were blown wide as you held your cramping stomach. oscar breathed in, the scent making his head swim. but he shook his head, cleared his thoughts and wrapped his arm around you. "come on," he said and led you away. "lets go lie down."

a whine left your lips as you followed him. fuck, it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. he had heard you whine before, but it was never like this, never had his grip on you tightening.

it didn't take oscar long to realise that the smell was you. pastries, honey, wildflowers. he stopped himself from leaning close to your scent gland and getting a proper whiff.

you sat down in his drivers room. god, you looked so sweet sitting there, still holding your stomach with your eyes wide and far away.

oscar dropped to his knees in front of you. "i can..." he stated. he breathed in deep, his eyes shutting. "shit, i can smell you."

you chewed on your cheek as you looked down at him. your nose twitched as you leaned forward, breathing him in. falling to the floor with him, falling into his arms, you pressed your nose against his scent gland.

"fuck," you squeaked, your nails digging into his shoulders. "alpha."

alpha.

the way you whined the presentation unlocked something within him, tore an animalistic growl from his throat. alpha. alpha. alpha. your scent deepened, crying out for him.

oscar's head fell forward. his nose against your scent gland, getting drunk on you. all of the media day stuff he had to do, it was all forgotten as he sat in his drivers room, holding you.

fuck, you were in pre-heat. and he was in pre-rut.

because he was an alpha. your alpha. and you were his omega.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think that the Great Seven are actually just better people in the TWST universe, or a big case of historical revisionism?

Been wondering since in the dream sequences "Yuu" gets, I'm pretty sure the story plays out as they were in their original stories? I originally thought this might just serve as a gameplay purpose rather than a narrative one, in case the player doesn’t know the original story or needs a refresher. But doesn't "Yuu" acknowledge their dreams in the story?

From their dialogue I'm pretty sure they don't recognize any of the Disney characters, or their stories, so from a narrative perspective I wonder if these are dreams they’re getting of the past.

Both concepts are fun to explore, but I gotta wonder which one is closer to twst canon.

Based on what I have seen so far, I think Twst is trying to hint at its history being revised. The latest two books (6 and 7) have strong themes of lingering on the past/a strong desire to maintain a happy lie rather than accept a harsh truth or change from that status quo. Additionally, Lilia drops this suspicious line in book 6: “[…] different cultures and species pass down lore in different ways—not every truth is written down. There is no shortage of historical narratives that have been twisted to suit someone's agenda.”

Yuu then has two dialogue options. The latter of these seems to imply the disconnect between the reality of their Disney dreams and the reality of Twisted Wonderland:

“Twisting historical narratives, huh...”

(For some reason, I've got butterflies in my stomach.)

Yuu doesn’t seem to indicate familiarity with the true Disney versions, but this could be for a variety of reasons such as serving more as a narrative device for the players, Disney not existing in Yuu’s Earth (since they don’t recognize the icon that is Mickey Mouse either), or maybe convenient amnesia. They do have small moments of confusion when faced with Twisted Wonderland parallels of elements from their dreams but only start making the direct connection between their dreams and irl events starting late in book 5. This is why they anticipated “something bad happening” and feel compelled to follow Vil (who, at the time, was intending to poison Neige). Yuu also suffers from several headaches and visions of their Disney dreams while conscious in books 6 and 7, They appear to consistently treat the dreams as premonitions and not as material they are familiar with or see as the truth.

There are cases where the non-villains appear as important historical figures. This includes the original heroes of the Disney films, who are still largely portrayed positively—it’s just that the roles of the villains have changed into positive ones as well. There are also cases of the same story diverging to create multiple variations, which implies that stories do warp and change over time. For example, we are told that the Sorcerer of the Sands exposed a fake prince for lying about his status to win the princess’s hand. At the same time, there’s another story about how a street rat happily married a princess.

I do want to point out that altering history isn’t always done intentionally or with malice. Some stories just naturally change over time or get forgotten if they aren’t recorded properly. Oral retellings tend to get altered as they spread or get painted with bias due to who is sharing it, and variations of the same story can emerge from different cultures. Sometimes it is the case where people want to hide information or are acting out of ill intent, it just isn’t true of all cases.

Maybe this will be something they address in the main story ^^ Personally, I really do hope it’s the revisionist history explanation, as it would be really interesting to see explored. If the truth is that the Disney villains are just good people in Twisted Wonderland 💦 it’s convenient for sticking to the status quo, but ultimately far less nuanced.

[hoonieyun]

meet the potential and future lovebirds!

welcome to, "is he mr. right?", the dating game! where a lucky girl who is looking for love has the opportunity to go on a date with four handsome and eager bachelor's who are also looking for love.

this is an interactive dating show au where the readers can vote on "yn's" decisions, ultimately leading to who she will be with at the end... but more on that later!

heeseung 𐐪♡𐑂 jongseong 𐐪♡𐑂 jaeyun 𐐪♡𐑂 sunghoon

warnings: nothing really? maybe like judgemental glances and awkward tension? lmk if i miss something, 18+ not proofread lol!

wc: 2571

episode one: meet the potential and future lovebirds

“welcome! welcome! i’m your host, the love guru, and today we’ve got a great lineup of people who are looking to find the love of their lives!” the host of the dating show, “is he mr. right?” says to the audience, a roar of applause erupts within the room as she addresses the crowd. the host was beautiful, big bouncy hair and a bright smile as the spotlight found its way to her. waving and greeting some audience members. 

“let’s get right into it, shall we?” the love magician says as she further hypes up the crowd. “now let’s go over how this show works…

we bring in a lovely contestant who we call “the dove” and she will have the opportunity to get to know our bachelors before she chooses who she wants to go on a date first. once she’s able to go on a date with each bachelor; she’ll have the chance to make her final pick on who her mr. right will be! and with the help of you guys at home and in the live audience, you all will be able to vote on who you think she should choose as her mr. right! 

got it? good, because i’m not repeating myself.” 

the host jokingly says and a successful applause and laughter can be heard in response. 

“now, let’s bring in our dove! every one please give a warm welcome to YN!” the love guru says, waving her hand around as a wall rises, revealing you. 

you were fairly nervous, you weren’t entirely sure why you were going on a dating show so soon after your breakup but your friends pushed you to do it, having signed you up without your knowledge and by the time it came around you were too deep into it to back out. you had to do several background checks and interviews with the show's producers before you were even chosen but it seemed like you were the right pick for them because the producers loved your energy and smile. your friends had convinced you to go further with the interviews and before you knew it, you were willing to go along with all of it. 

even when you would tell your friends that maybe it’s too soon to get back into dating, they would all roll their eyes and remind you that it’s almost been a year since the breakup and that you need to put yourself out there. 

so here you are now, standing behind a levitating wall and waiting for the dating show host who calls herself “the love guru” to introduce you and begin the show. 

your nerves were through the roof because not only has it been a long time since you’ve dated but you never thought that it would be on a dating show of all things– your heart was beating in your ears when suddenly the wall in front of you was raised and you’re met with bright lights and and the sounds of applause drown out the sound of your own heartbeat. 

in almost an instant you snap into a different person, like your show mode just activates. 

a smile spreads across your face as you carefully walk down the stairs, waving at the audience and taking in all of the cheers and welcome from the audience. 

“you are so beautiful, yn! are you ready to find mr. right?” the love guru asks you and you nodded, your smile widening as your eyes squint just a bit as you adjust to the lighting.

"so, yn.. tell us a little bit about yourself?" the host asks you as you’re waving to everyone cheering you on.

"well.. i like to read books, baking, and taking long walks to the bank because my future man better have a hefty bank account." you joke with the audience and to your surprise they accept your humor just fine as you were a bit scared that it wouldn’t come out as a joke and you didn’t want to be seen as a gold digger. 

“perfect answer! now, tell us why you are on this show?” the host asks and you explain your somewhat long history of dating and what ultimately got you on the show. the crowd ooh’d and aww’d at your story of how your last relationship ended because the two of you just couldn’t see eye to eye on where your relationship was going. 

you wanted to have more freedom in your life and felt that you were too young to settle down but your ex was ready to do just that. he often would talk about your life in the future, having a family, buying your dream house, and raising your family until the two of you became old and wrinkly. 

and although it sounded nice, you weren’t ready for that and it seemed like it was all moving too fast. so you ended up breaking off your year and a half long relationship and fast forward 8 months; here you are now ready to find your mr. right. 

“what are you looking for in a man?” the love guru asks. 

“aside from a man that has a wallet that’s heavy–” you joke once again. 

“i want someone who understands me the way my best friends do, someone who is honest and smart, maybe a little shy? but he likes being outgoing with me.. 

oh! and a guy who knows how to communicate and has a good hold on his emotions. i’m not looking for someone perfect because i wanna grow with him but i’m also not here to look for someone who has no idea of who he is.” you confidently respond and you earn nods and smiles from the audience, indicating that they either agree or find your answer admirable. 

“love these answers, yn! we’ve got some really cute bachelor’s lined up for you so why don’t you put these sound proof headphones on as we introduce our bachelor’s to our audience!” the love guru instructs as you take the headphones from one of the assistants, sliding it onto your head carefully so you don’t ruin your hair. 

you were excited to get to know the bachelor’s because eventually they’d be someone you were going to go on a date with and potentially be your future boyfriend. the audience smiled and laughed at you as you slightly danced around to the music playing through the headphones. 

“isn’t she cute, guys?” the love guru asks the audiences and they all cheer. 

“alright! let’s get to know our bachelor’s and potentially, yn’s future mr. right!” she says and with tv magic, four guys suddenly appear, all of them sitting on stools and waving to the audience present in the studio. 

“ok! let’s go down the line! please introduce yourself, starting with you.” the love guru says, gesturing to the first guy sitting on the stool from the left. 

“um.. hi guys. my name is sunghoon.” he says timidly with a tightlipped smile and the love guru just knows the girls in the audience and at home are swooning at his shy demeanor. “tell us sunghoon, what are you looking for?” the love guru asks, trying to get more information out of the shy boy for television purposes. 

“um..” he begins, scratching his head slightly. “i’m not sure.. i want her to be sweet and nice.. i think?” sunghoon says and as the audience oohs and awws at his response, a shade of pink spreads across his cheeks as he gets shy from their reactions. 

“well, best of luck to you sunghoon! maybe our dove can bring you out of your shell.” she teases and he just nods with a small smile. sunghoon wasn’t completely sure why he ever decided to be on this show. he wasn’t the most outgoing person and truly he only had a few friends who have ever witnessed his true persona. he was shy, there was no hiding that, but he was looking for someone he can be himself around. 

someone who wouldn’t force him to be outgoing and would welcome his naturally timid demeanor to the point where he’d be comfortable enough around them so that he could slowly but surely, show more of his personality. a lot of sunghoon’s friends say that he’s funny and a sweet guy and that any girl would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend; but sunghoon thinks his shyness was a curse. sure, some girls found it cute at first but the longer they realized he was shy and not just putting on an act, they’d lose interest just as fast as they got it. 

he just wants someone to get him. 

“alright, your turn! tell us about yourself, fluffy hair!” the love guru once again gestures to the next guy and he chuckles at her nickname for him. his soft and slightly curly hair does make it look like he’s extra fluffy and the audience definitely agrees as they all cheer for the cute nickname. 

“hi everyone, my name is jake, im from australia and i’m here to not only be someone’s mr. right but to be their mr. forever.” jake announces and his thick australian accent instantly has all of the girls in the audience melting. his voice was like silk and everyone was instantly entranced. 

“love the accent! what brings you over here?” the love guru asks. 

“to find love. i want to settle down and start living my dream world with my dream girl.” jake explains and he’s slightly startled when the audience erupts in adoration for him. his head whips around from looking at the host to the audience and although he can barely see them because of the bright stage lights, he can make out a few smiles in the crowd. 

“well mr. aussie, let’s see if our dove is ready to live with you in your dream world as your dream girl!” she says enthusiastically before moving to the next bachelor. 

jake was ready. for all of it. he’s wanted to settle down and build a family for a while now but after his last failed relationship he had to reevaluate a lot of his decisions. was he ready to settle down? he was so young but that’s what he wanted. 

he wanted to live in his dream home with his dream girl and build the family of his dreams so they could all live happily. sure it may seem a bit immature to imagine such a fairytale life, but that’s what he wanted and hopefully this show will be the start of that. 

“you know the drill, tell us about yourself.” she says shortly as she arrived to the third bachelor. “what’s up, everyone. i’m heeseung and i know i’m going to be mr. right.- looking beautiful by the way miss love guru.” he says while flashing his smile and twinkling eyes. the audience absolutely falls in love with him. 

his charm was on a different love and heeseung just oozed a different type of confidence that the show hadn’t seen prior. “why, thank you.” she responds. 

“but flattery will get you nowhere, i’m not the dove.” she teases and the audience laughs at her joke while heeseung nods and chuckles, his laugh causing the audience to fall even deeper for him. they look at him adoring as the spotlight seems to shine so much brighter on him than the previous bachelors. 

“what are you looking for in a girl?” she asks and heeseung’s face slightly contorted with thought. 

“someone my parents would be proud of. i want them to look at my future wife and think about all the ways they can brag to the world about how i’ve got the best wife.” heeseung says and although the answer wasn’t traditional in the slightest, the love guru nods her head in response. 

was she impressed with the answer? sure. was it slightly strange? a bit!

the audience however, didn’t care. they were going to love anything that heeseung said because he was just so charming and alluring, he had the audience eating out of his palm. 

heeseung was somewhat known as a playboy within his friend circle. sure he’s only had 1 or 2 girlfriends but he was known to be a serial dater. it may seem like a bad thing but he doesn’t think. unashamed that he’s gone on several dates because he was looking for the right girl. he wanted to make sure that the girl he’d be marrying was the one his parents also wanted him to marry. 

it’s where his charm came from. his parents always boasted about how good of a son he was, bragging to his relatives about his intelligence, successes, and prowess. it was only fair that heeseung also found someone his parents would be proud of. 

“last in line, hello hello! tell us a bit about yourself.” she says once again and the last guy clears his throat before answering and the room is dead silent. his presence alone was so strong that the audience couldn’t help but have their mouths agape. he was handsome with sharp features paired with a mysterious aura that surrounded him. 

“hey, i’m jay.” he says, short and sweet. 

although he didn’t have much to say, the audience swooned at his cool demeanor and laid back vibe. incomparison to sunghoon who had received a few awkward glances for his short response because of his shyness, jay received heart eyes from the crowd because they found him to be mysterious, like he was a puzzle to be solved. 

“we’ve got a few shy ones in the cast this time huh?” she says, looking directly into the camera and as if on cue, the audience erupts in laughter. “nah, not shy. just saving myself for the dove.” jay speaks up and although he wasn’t necessarily addressed by the love guru; his confidence in answering her regardless of being referenced made the audience want to know even more about him. 

“well! there you have it! our four bachelors and one of them will be our dove’s mr. right! tune in next week for the question and answer portion and first rounds of voting on who you, at home, think she should go on a date first!” the love guru says and continues to go on about the show's logistics. the first episode is typically the shortest as it only includes introductions while the rest of the episodes would play out a lot longer. 

jay tunes her out once she steps away and does her job as a host to close out the show. he was slightly relieved that she didn’t ask any questions further and wasn’t a victim of the audiences judging glances like the first guy. he felt bad for him because he could tell that he was just shy and wasn’t deserving of the perception of the audience for one instance. 

jay wasn’t sure what he was looking for in a girl nor did he know what he was even doing here. he had a lot to go through in his head and he somehow found himself on a dating show. he was trying to understand who he was as a person and he assumed that what better way to get to know yourself than through the lense of someone who loves you right? 

surely, he’d find love one way or another. 

𐐪♡𐑂 next ep

hoonieyun notes: first ep is out wooo!! i wanted to keep what number each enha member would a mystery because moving forward, they will be referred to as bachelor's 1-4 instead of their names. only i will know which number they are so you guys will also be playing into the mystery of who yn will end up going on a date with when you guys vote! also updates will be every saturday at 6pm pst <3

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[shegotheruby]

WET

SUMMARY: You weren't expecting Lee Jihoon to avoid ALL of your advances. You've practically been throwing yourself at him for years. and now you're roommates. How are you supposed to survive when you're this hot and bothered?

WC: 7.5k

tw: smut /mdni

note: cross posted from my AO3 account (wooziswife)

God. You've got to get yourself under control. It's been two years of living with Kwon Soonyoung, and no matter how many hookups you have with other guys, you can't help but think about one man in particular in the middle of the night. No, not Soonyoung, that's actually disgusting. He's like a brother. It's his best friend you find lingering in your dreams. The infamous Lee Jihoon. Hoshi's bandmate and former roommate.

It all stems from the night you met. You had been hired as a choreographer for one of Seventeen's routines. The night before your first practice Hoshi invited you to a bar under the preface of "getting to know each other as coworkers" You knew it was just an excuse to interact with a woman and drink alcohol, but you let it happen. You even let him introduce you to his friends and shove you into Kim Mingyu's arms. It was there when Jihoon first saw you, grinding on the dance floor against his friend's broad chest. He watched you not-so-subtly rubbing your ass against various men, and you watched him watch you. It was invigorating. You noticed him sitting in the corner, crossing his muscular arms over his chest, clad in a skin-tight black t-shirt. He had black hair that day, barely grazing the tops of his shoulders. His gaze was strong and you knew from the second you laid eyes on him that he was your type. You imagined what he would be like in the bedroom. Probably a giver.

Jihoon, however… he didn't even seem interested. You caught him staring multiple times throughout the evening, but he never came onto you after many invitations to join on the dance floor. You used all of the tricks, glancing over your shoulder at him almost an embarrassing amount of times, but he sat there, unmoving. You started to wonder if he was just a voyeur. How could he stare for so long, but not be interested in taking action? You were basically begging him (nonverbally) to follow you home. From then on, he became your your personal challenge. How can you get this guy into your bed?

***

Years passed and you slept with several of the members. You even had a threesome with Jeonghan and Seungcheol more than once. It was easy for you to seduce men. From freshman year of college you were practiced in the art of the Hang and Bang. You'd invite them over for a movie and before long you were gagging on their cock. You were blessed with a body that curved in all the right places, and you knew how to dress to hint what you were interested in.

Whenever Jihoon came over for game night with the guys, you made sure to wear your shortest shorts. When you stopped by during practice, you would bring snacks for the members, purposefully grazing his fingers when you handed his over. You made sure to make eye contact with him when you were sucking on a sucker or candy. You would send him selfies from the club, when you knew you looked hot. You'd invite him to the movie theater, choosing specifically sexual films. He always turned those invites down.

You made sure to wear red when you accompanied one of the guys to company parties, complete with ruby lipstick. He had a song about it for goodness sake. He had to have known you were coming onto him. You always laughed at Jihoon's jokes, grabbing onto an arm flirtatiously. Lingering a moment longer than normal to admire his biceps. It was an endless spiral of failures. Night after night, month after month, he looked at you like you were just a desperate girl. Just another one of Hoshi's friends. Never giving in to your desires. Maybe you should just give up. It's starting to make you feel bad. It wasn't like you needed Jihoon to pleasure you, you had plenty of fun. Chan gave you hours of head and Mingyu satisfied your submissive side with his dominance. Dokyeom had a rather filthy mouth and Jun knew how to use his dancer hips. The members were, to put it lightly, athletic and well versed in intimacy.

You never spent a night with your roommate, that relationship was different. Not only was Soonyoung one of the few uninterested men, he was in a committed relationship with your cousin. You had introduced them 2 years back, and they immediately hit it off. There were times when seeing them together made your heart swell, and there were times when you wanted to gag at their PDA.

Regardless, you were happy for them and after almost 700 days, you had been waiting for them to propose moving in together. It's not that you wanted to move out of soonyoung's apartment -you loved living there- but it was time. They were spending almost every night at each other's homes anyways. It only made sense to share rent.

...

So here you are, sitting in the living room, jaw almost on the floor when he hit you with a curveball.

"what do you mean?" you stumbled, eyes open wide.

"Come on y/n" Hoshi sighed, grabbing your shoulders, "you've known for a while that I wanted her to move in with me."

"Yes, Soonyoung. that is not the part i'm focusing on here. What do you mean you asked Jihoon if I could move in with him? Are you Stupid!?"

"No. I'm smart! You're both my best friends, and Jihoon is looking for a roommate. I'm not kicking you to the curb without another option! Just move in with him. His complex is nice as fuck and they have a massive pool. I know you're into night swims."

"Hosh i'm like 90% positive that he hates me! We never talk and he always glares at me when we hang out."

"Trust me. Hate is the opposite of what he feels for you, and I've noticed the way you act around him. You’re like…obsessed with him.”

"Say that again and i'll bite your dick off."

"Woah!! Don't threaten mini Soon like that! He didn't do anything to you!"

"Don't refer to your dick like that, it's weird."

"Don't change the subject. Will you please just consider it?"

***

after a lot of arguing, and a lot of persuading, you did consider it. You made the move on a Tuesday afternoon, in the middle of August. It made you nervous at first, to be living with Jihoon. This was the man you had practically been salivating over for years, and now he lived right down the hall. You tried your best to be a good roommate, but it wasn't comfortable like it was with Soonyoung. Where he used to leave dishes in the sink and complain about how clean you were, Jihoon was the opposite. He kept everything in complete order. You never had to take out the trash because he took care of it. The wall of penthouse windows were always perfectly shined and the black leather couch was regularly polished. His bedroom door was always closed but you occasionally heard music coming from inside. It was good. You knew Woozi was a talented producer, but to witness songs that he never released made you feel special, even if you weren't meant to hear them.

Sometimes you came home to the smell of freshly cooked rice or ramen. If he wasn’t cooking, it still smelled nice. He always kept the entry way scented with candles or wall plug ins. It was homey, and you felt yourself wanting him more and more each day. Years of him declining your advances proved that he didn't want anything to do with you, but it didn't help you to live in such close proximity. You washed your clothes with the same detergent, so you closed your eyes at night and imagined he was laying there next to you, embracing you with his strong arms. You occasionally bumped into each other at the gym, and you tried not to stare at him, grunting under the force of bars twice your weight. Tried not to stare at how he looked shirtless.

Whenever you messaged Jihoon, it wasn't an attempt to get him into your bed anymore. Now, it was an attempt to become friends. You needed that level of comfort you used to feel with Soonyoung. You would still bring snacks to practice, but Jihoon's now had a note written on a napkin. "Hope you have a good day" or "see you at home :)." He never mentioned anything, but you did start to see him smiling when you walked into a room. You still wanted him. God you wanted him BAD. But you forced that desire down for the sake of the relationship you had now. You stopped hooking up with the other Seventeen members. You wouldn't be caught dead with a guy in your new place. Never. (Especially not one of Jihoon’s friends. You used to flirt with them in front of him to make him jealous, but that felt wrong now).

***

Life slowly changed. You're not sure when it happened -a few months into your new situation probably- but the friendship did start to grow. You bantered back and forth on a regular basis, and you started eating dinner together on Thursday nights. Instead of running into each other at the gym, you started going to the gym together. He accepted a few invitations to the movies, because you suggested action films instead of romances. He showed you some of his work if you caught him in a good mood, and you came to realize that he allowed bear hugs early in the morning when he hadn't fully woken up. Sometimes after a long dance practice you would help massage some knots out of his neck and he would pay you back by rubbing icy hot on your back after an intense gym day.

It was especially helpful to your relationship when both of your families came down sick during Christmas. You were both supposed to visit home and the fact that you had to change your plans was beyond disappointing. It helped though, that you at least had each other. You could have been stranded alone, but you made the most of it. You got a Christmas tree and learned how to bake your own gingerbread. You sang Christmas carols (off key) and he laughed with crescent shaped eyes as you danced around the living room in pajamas you forced him to match with you.

Your families ended up making the trip to visit you for new years, staying in a hotel down the street. Together you hosted them for a home cooked dinner and it felt domestic. Your sister, of course, knew about your crush on him and spent hours trying to convince you to confess your feelings, but that just wasn’t going to happen. It was still fun though, and you even got everyone involved in a rowdy game of name-that-tune (seventeen edition). You won, on a team with his mom, much to Jihoon’s dismay.

It was nice seeing him get along with your parents and siblings. He wooed your mother with his ability to play piano, and had your brother hooked when he admitted to liking webtoons. They got along with Soonyoung too, but never like this. Whenever you hosted them at the other apartment, they would just question Soonyoung about his relationship with your cousin, trying to convince him to help you find a partner. This time, they spent the trip acting normal. Chatting with Jihoon, but not pressuring you too much.

He was an important person in your life, actually…you think he might have become your favorite person, and you were grateful for Soonyoung. He was looking out for you when he set you up in this situation, and it was turning out great. You loved having a clean roommate, and did enjoy plenty of night swims in the private pool area. You liked having a friend that taught you new things, like how to play the guitar and how to cook. You loved the moments when you laughed until you cried over a stupid video he sent you, and cherished the moments when he comforted you after your grandpa passed away.

There was a time when you were practicing really hard for a choreography job you had landed. It was possibly the largest payout you would see yet, and through the excitement of it, you were nervous. Being the trained dancer he is, Jihoon helped you a lot. He let you try different moves and acted like your test subject as you tried different partner stunts and positions. He even asked you for your opinions on some lyrics he was writing, and of course you thought it was fabulous. You offered up words of encouragement, but included small bits of advice to help him polish up the project.

You had truly become best friends. You knew Jihoon’s secrets, he knew yours (mostly)… and by this point, you had memorized his schedule. He knew yours too. Not much about him surprised you anymore, and you only allowed yourself to think about him sexually when you were alone at night.

***

One evening you came home late, sometime around two or three in the morning. It wasn't a shock to see a low flicker of light coming from under his door, he was usually awake late into the evenings. What was a shock, however, were the sounds you heard. Instead of music or the low muffled anime, you heard moans. Light, airy breaths coming from the man you wanted so badly, pleasuring himself to what you could only assume was pornhub. You had been living together for almost six months at this point, and he had never brought anyone home. You never heard those kinds of noises, and immediately felt the blood rush to your cheeks. It was like you were glued to the floor. This was a personal moment, and you totally shouldn't be listening, but he sounded so heavenly. Images of his muscles flashed in your brain and you sat on the couch, silently listening to him through the wall. Your hand slipped into your leggings almost involuntarily, and you allowed your head to fall back as you masturbated to the sweet sounds of Jihoon coming undone.

It was embarrassing, how turned on you felt from simply hearing him. you circled your fingers around your clit, sliding along your wetness with ease. You opened your eyes to look at the sky through the skylight above you. It was a beautiful night, and you might have let a few of your own moans slip out. Not loud ones, really just heavy breaths if you’re being honest. You dipped your fingers inside your hole and imagined they were his. His fingers are much longer than yours. You’ve thought about him like this more times than you can count…but here…. now… the knowledge that he’s jerking off in the other room sends a rush through your spine. On a normal night you could pleasure yourself for a long time to the thought of his panting, but hearing it for real sent you over the edge quickly. You came hard, harder than you have with just your hands in a long time. You spent a few moments breathing, realizing that his moans had stopped too. You retreated to your room before he had a chance to realize you were eavesdropping.

You tried to sleep. You really did. But the sounds kept replaying in your head. How were you supposed to get over your crush (because let's admit it, your attraction to him had developed into a big, fat, massive crush) when he was consuming your thoughts entirely? You tossed and turned for 45 minutes before changing into a red bikini and leaving the apartment. Swimming at night was a regular occurence, not because you needed more exercise, but because you liked the quiet. You liked the way it helped you clear your mind, and you liked the cool temperature of the water gliding along your skin.

You thought you were quiet, but not quiet enough. Because what you didn't realize was that Jihoon heard you moving around. He heard you come into the apartment an hour before, and he DEFINITELY heard you heavy breathing on the couch. That realization might have helped him reach completion. Maybe he didn't mind. Maybe he did it on purpose. See, if he wanted to be quiet, he could. But after this much time, he felt that he won the game of cat and mouse. You chased him for long enough, and maybe he was finally ready to give in and show you just how much he liked your body. How much he liked YOU.

He waited for a few minutes before changing into his own swim trunks and wandering down to the pool. He knew you well enough to know that's where you would be. You were a few laps in when you stopped for a drink of water. It was then that you looked up to see him sitting on the edge, feet in the water, watching you move. You jerked with a bit of shock and blushed. He wordlessly lowered himself into the water and moved towards you, an expression on his face that you had never seen before.

“I didn’t realize you were awake” You lied. “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

he continued moving towards you.

“Yes you did” he replied, watching you slowly back away.

You could hear your heart beating out of your chest as your back connected with the nearest wall. He reached you a moment later and, much to your surprise, rested his arms on either side of you, caging you in.

“I think you might have heard me having a private moment” he said, voice deep and sultry.

You tried to object, but your brain short circuited. All you could do was think about his shirtless form standing so close to your barely clothed one. His face looked sexy in the dim lighting, and you couldn’t help but notice how plump his tired lips looked.

He leaned a little closer until those lips were brushing against your ear. “and I think you liked it.”

“Are you accusing me of eavesdropping on your sex moans?”

“You think my moans are sexy?”

it’s like your body is controlling itself at this point as you reach your arms forward, wrapping them around his neck.

“Unfortunately I’ve spent hours dreaming about what your moans sound like, Jihoon.”

“What would you say if I felt the same?” He asked nudging his face against your neck, hands slowly rubbing down your arms, ending with a comfortable place on your hips.

All you can do is stare at him in surprise.

“Do you even know how painful it was to avoid your advances all this time?” he continues. “Every time you wear this my dick gets so hard I have to excuse myself.”

He glances down at your revealing attire, obviously appreciating your boobs. His hands stay still on your hips but his thumb lightly plays with the elastic of your red bottoms.

“So why haven’t you fucked me yet?” you ask. It’s a fair question…you gave him plenty of opportunities.

“Because.” he clicks his tongue. “I saw the way you looked at me the night we met. This has all been a game to you.”

“Is that so bad?” You counter, lightly circling your hands on the nape of his neck.

“Not bad” you see a flicker of amusement in his gaze. “I’ve quite enjoyed watching you throw yourself at me.”

“Ah, so you did notice.” you sigh “I was starting to wonder if you were gay.”

“I noticed every time you ‘dropped’ something right in front of me.” he grabs your ass. “I noticed when you ‘forgot’ a bra.” he nips at your neck. “and I Definitely noticed when you fucked half of my team.”

“Were you jealous?”

“Insanely.”

“Did you wish it was you?” you press.

“Yes”

“Were you thinking about me an hour ago?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you touch yourself often, Hoonie.” You flirt, tilting your head innocently. “Maybe I should give you some help.” You press yourself against his bare chest. voice lowering to almost a whisper, “I have a feeling I’ll feel better than your hand.”

He snaps. Leaning forward and capturing your lips in a frantic kiss, dipping his tongue in like he’s kissed you a thousand times before. Your lips meet in such a perfect way, it’s like they were crafted to fit together by god himself. You lift your hands into his hair, manicured fingers appreciating how soft it is. His hands squeeze at your hips and despite the cool water, you feel like you could burn from the contact.

He kisses you like a man starved. (and maybe he kind of was. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen him kiss someone). You were already pressed together, but he stepped forward, pinning you even tighter to the wall. he used one hand to lift your chin, opening your mouth wider to him. He wasn’t the tallest guy, but luckily for you, you’re short. You think he likes that about you. The way you’re looking up at him, eyes half lidded as he accelerates the kiss with passion. His mouth tastes like his toothpaste. Minty and fresh, and you’re not surprised. Everything about him is put together. Clean. He is refreshing, and you could stay like this forever. Enjoying this dance. tongues twirling together in perfect synchronization, hands desperately grabbing at whatever they can find purchase on. He smells intoxicating. His cologne perfectly mixing bergamot and cedar wood. You’re suddenly grateful that you tried a new perfume today. What he doesn’t verbalize is the fact that he’s very much enjoying your lavender aroma. Very much enjoying how your mouth tastes sweet, muted remnants of the dessert wine you paired with dinner tonight.

He captures your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging softly and eliciting a stifled moan from you. Men didn’t usually have you moaning before your pants were off, but everything about him is different. Your hands leave his hair in favor of running down his back, appreciating the rippling muscles. The deep valley that runs down the center. His grab both sides of your face, taking complete control of your mind. You really do feel like your brain is short circuiting. He uses this position to tilt your head, mouth leaving yours to kiss a trail down your neck. Your head lasts about two seconds before it drops backwards. Eyes rolling back as you completely give yourself to him, like you always wished you could. His lips are warm, turning your pale complexion a hue of pink. You’re not sure if you even care. Don’t care if he sucks it until you’re bruised purple. You just want him to keep going, it feels so good. So right.

His hands find a new resting place just beneath your breasts, cupping them with palms flat against your ribs. Your skin tingles everywhere. Your fingers continue appreciating his back. You feel him reacting to your touch, slightly twitching whenever you brush him just right. You don’t know how long you stay like that until his lips retreat from your collarbone, meeting yours again with fervor. His tongue guides the kiss, leading you into pure bliss.

A surge of confidence overtakes you and you flip your position so Jihoon is the one with his back pressed against the pool’s edge. You feel him smile against you and can’t contain yourself from smiling too, lightly giggling into his mouth. You continue this dance for some time. Kissing, flipping, marking each others necks with bruises. You’re sucking a generous hickey into the right side of his neck when he suddenly grabs your wrist and tugs you behind him, walking towards the shallow exit of the pool. “We’re going upstairs.”

You gladly follow, towel completely forgotten as he drags you to the elevator. The doors are barely open when he pushes you inside, pressing you against the mirror and hitting the button for the top floor without separating from your lips. You’re both dripping all over the floor but you don’t even slightly find the space to care. You kiss until the doors open and then he’s dragging you again, moving with purpose. Your door is at the end of the hall, and it’s never felt so long to get there. You can’t wait to escape inside so you can appreciate more than just his lips.

Once you reach the apartment, you find yourself being led to a room you’ve never fully entered. HIS room. Sure you’ve stood in the entry way, but he’s never invited you to come in. To see his bathroom. To sit on his bed. You would like to admire it, but now isn’t the time because he is, again, pressing you into the wall with burning hands, sliding down your wet body. He grips your wrists and pins them in a crossed position above your head. You press the back of your head into the hard surface behind you and press your breasts forward, arching into him.

He leans into your ear, voice raspy as he teases, “I’ve had two years to think about what I’m going to do to you.”

He moves quickly. Aggressively. You don’t even have a second to breathe before he’s on his knees, ripping your bottoms down to your ankles. It all happens in one fluid motion, and you gasp at the cool air suddenly surprising your sex. His mouth warms you, tongue licking a long stripe up your core and you really moan this time. completely weak. Your hands are still above your head, briefly frozen in silent command. He lifts one leg over his shoulder, opening your cunt more to him, and you allow your hands to fall, bracing yourself against him to keep from falling over.

“fuck Jihoon” you gasp, looking down at the way he is worshiping you, “feels so good.” you mumble, vision already turning hazy.

His tongue works you like you belong to him. strong, hard licks mixed with quick, stiff entrances into your hole. You reach down to rub your clit but he pushes your hand away, replacing it with his own. He rubs in small circles and uses the other hand to plunge his middle finger into your entrance. You jerk in pleasure and curl your toes. The only thing you can focus on is keeping that one leg up on his shoulder, trying to maintain your composure enough to stand. Your remaining knee feels weak as he plunges a second finger in, never slowing the pace with his mouth. He sucks on your sensitive nub and scissors his fingers, effectively stretching you out for what was inevitably coming soon. He continues gliding in and out, smiling against your folds. his nose rubs that sensitive spot and you moan again and again, gripping his hair.

“So fucking wet, baby” he sighs, warm breath sending chills through your pelvis. You’re practically riding his fingers now, humping into his hand.

“All for you” you whine, grinding harder, faster.

“So needy too.” he answers watching the way you desperately move, body begging for the friction you need.

In one swift motion, he removes his fingers, a teasing smile as your hips chase after him. You grunt in frustration.

You’re not upset for long because he rests them on your thigh and picks up your remaining leg with his other arm, resting it on his other shoulder. He stands up and presses you into the wall, shoving his mouth back into your cunt with renewed intensity. You gasp, arm reaching out for something to grab onto. You settle for the corner of the open doorway, grasping the door frame like your life depends on it. Your other hand is in his hair again.

“Oh my god”

he laughs and continues, fully aware (probably from his friends) that you have a strength kink. You pussy is fluttering, clenching around nothing as he licks hard circles on your clitoris. You peer down with a perfect view of his lips and tongue working you up and down, in a figure eight pattern. He’s testing you, figuring out what feels best, noting your reactions and pleasing you perfectly. You can see his arm muscles tensing as he holds you up, veins prominent and sizable. He moans..no-groans into your core, speeding up even faster. flicking his tongue with speed and precision, hitting your clit again, again, again. The heat pools in your belly and you break, almost seeing stars. “Oh my god. fuck. right there. yes. fuck. I’m close.” Clitoral stimulation has always been a sure way to have you falling apart in minutes, and Jihoon..god he’s good at it. You’re a whimpering mess. You come completely undone with a final flick of his tongue and your moans sound absolutely pornographic. A string of curse words escape your lips and your legs are shaking, threatening to suffocate him. He laps up your juices like a parched man in the desert, proud of himself for pulling those sounds from you.

You assumed he would set you down after your climax, but those ’two years of plans’ thought otherwise. You’re still leaning against the wall, legs spread on each shoulder, cunt pinned against his face. He shifts his hands, which are gripping your ass, slightly so he’s holding even more of your weight. You squeal as he pulls you off of the wall and carries you to his bed, still licking your cum, and dropping you softly on your back.

“Oh my god” you repeat again, dazed. You’re still sensitive to Jihoon’s mouth against your pussy and prop yourself up on an elbow to shove his head away. He doesn’t move though, rather he sucks on your nub again and moves to continue rubbing you with his hand.

“No, i’m too sensitive” you try to shove his head again, half heartedly.

“I want you to squirt” he moans, pushing three fingers back into you, sliding them against your spongy walls. Curling against your G-Spot with perfect accuracy. “Come on baby, give me one more. You can do it.”

You moan, dropping flat on your back, legs opening wider, giving into his desires. His free hand glides up your abdomen, grabbing your breast. You move to untie the sliver of fabric around your neck so you can remove the top, leaving your skin bare to him. His fingers pinch at your nipple, other hand still destroying your cunt. Already feeling another orgasm bubbling up inside, you grip the sheets with white knuckles.

“I still want your dick” you cry, hips grinding into the air against your will. “Want to feel your cock splitting me in half.”

“I love it when you talk dirty” he gasps, speeding up his fingers with a filthy squelching noise. “Do you hear that? Do you hear how fucking soaked you are?”

“Gonna give you what you want” you groan, hips chasing after him, desperately chasing another release. “Gonna squirt because you make me feel so good..fuck”

“Yeah you are” he orders, “You’re gonna come again, and again, all night” he leans in again, blowing heat onto your core. “You’re gonna come for every time you texted me thirst traps” your cheeks flush more (if that’s even possible). “For every time you wore those slutty little clothes on purpose to rile me up” your skin feels like it’s on fire, burning with intense lust and craving, “You’re gonna squirt for me so hard, so intense, that my name will be imprinted on your brain forever.”

You choke on a sob, tears leaking out of your eyes. “I’m gonna come so hard for you Hoonie”

“I’m gonna fuck you so good that you’ll never want another man” he pushes, “Gonna have you begging for more.”

His voice, the filthy images he’s painting, his fingers, his lips, his tongue, his hand on your nipple, it all snaps together like pieces of a puzzle and you burst. Pure euphoria taking over until you’re squirting all over, in his mouth down his arms, all over his bed. You’ve never squirted so hard in your life. Your body is practically jerking at the waves of pleasure and he rubs your clit, riding you through the sensation.

You collapse, hands finally uncurling from the sheets, knees falling to the side. Jihoon crawls up the bed until he’s laying beside you. He brushes a peice of your wet hair out of your fucked out face and kisses your left temple, followed by your right.

“You did so good” he whispers, reaching to hold your hand. It’s a sweet motion following such a crazed build up.

You allow yourself a few seconds to breathe, eyes falling closed, taking it all in, and then you gather your courage and open them, turning to face him.

“Jihoon”

“Hmm?” He hums, looking at you with shining eyes.

“I’ve wanted you for two years.”

“I know” he replies, “that was obvious to everyone within a 30 mile radius.”

“No I mean i’ve wanted YOU. Like I wanted to fuck you at first, and I slept with other guys to forget about it but I genuinely like you. I want to make love to you and kiss you and be exclusively YOUR girl. and it’s not a game anymore. You’re not some challenge or some joke. I want to do cute shit and date the hell out of you.”

He smiles. He smiles bigger than you’ve ever seen him smile, and he hugs you. He grabs both cheeks with his big, pretty hands and kisses you. Passionately and deeply. He rolls on top of you again and kisses your neck, your collarbone, the spot between your breasts. He plants his arms on either side of you and hovers just above your face.

“I want to date the hell out of you too.”

Now it’s your turn to smile, beaming from ear to ear. You lift up to capture him in another kiss, and you roll him over until you’re the one on top. The confession renewed all of your energy and you realize he still hasn’t been touched.

“In that case” you giggle, raising on your knees to properly straddle him. “As your girlfriend” you rub against his length, feeling it already hard and twitching beneath you. “I better make sure you’re properly satisfied.”

It’s his turn to jerk his hips, bucking them into the air where your body was. You slide down to his waistband, teasing it for a moment before sliding his shorts off. Your eyes are locked with his, purposely building the suspense. You can see his dick pop up in your periphery once the waistband has cleared it, but you keep looking at Jihoon. At his eyes. His pretty, quickly darkening, eyes. Teasing him. You still don’t look, but you grab his length with one hand, pumping once, twice, three times.

“You’re driving me crazy” he sighs, head bobbing on the mattress. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Me too” you sigh, finally looking at the beautiful dick in front of you. Really…It’s beautiful. It’s long, and slender, and shining with precum. You can hardly contain yourself as you lick a long stripe along the underside, circling around the tip before sucking it into your mouth. If there’s one thing you’re good at. One thing you’re known for…It’s giving mind shattering head.

You don’t give him much warning before you’re hollowing out your cheeks and taking him into the back of your throat, swallowing around him. The feeling of your muscles contracting around him elicits a breathy moan. Just like the ones you heard through the door earlier. You sway your head slightly from side to side until you gag (you don’t have much of a gag reflex, so when you do gag, it’s a sure sign that you’re taking him deep). You’ll do anything to hear that moan again, to hear him falling apart under you.

You rub his balls with your hands while your head bobs up and down along his length, mouth salivating around his hardness. You release at the tip with a loud POP, and gasp for breath, pumping him quickly with your right hand. “Make that sound again” you beg, grinding your, again (?) needy cunt against whatever part of his leg you’re now straddling. He immediately notices your grinding and grabs your hips to stop the movement. “Oh so moaning turns you on, huh?” He questions, head tilting to the side. You lean over, breasts bouncing right in his line of vision. Still pumping his dick, albeit a bit slower now. “Your voice turns me on.” You move to put your mouth on him again and bob your head up and down, hands wrapping around the shaft where you can’t reach, rubbing and twisting. You pull off again to spit on him, and he does as you asked, sighing a muffled “shit.”

Your hands pump him again. “I love it when you moan.” you speed up and increase the pressure, proving your point by pushing another marvelously loud one from his lips. “I love it when you say obscene things.” more pumping “and when you promise me smutty things.” your core is wet again, and Jihoon feels it against his skin where you’re grinding almost involuntarily against him. “I want you to tell me how sexy I am.” you lick around the tip again and shove his dick all the way down your throat, again, gagging. he jerks his hips upward and you hollow out your cheeks again, pulling at his hips to signal that you want him to fuck into your mouth. He seems timid at first, like he’s trying to control himself, but you want him to use you right now. You tap at his hips again and he gets the message, bucking up with more force. He plants his feet flat on the mattress and rests a hand on your head, pushing up, up, up. His breaths are jagged and you clench around nothing when he says “fuck, i’m so lucky.” He snaps his hips again, again, again until he pulls out with a muffled “wait, wait, wait.” You use the moment to catch your breath and look at his face again, his mouth hanging open as he catches his own breath too.

“I’m not ready to finish yet” he says, running a hand through his hair. I don’t want to stop here. He looks at you, a silent plea for more. for something, further.

“I thought you’d never ask” you smile, sitting up and moving so you’re not straddling him anymore. You prop up a pillow by the headboard and lean backwards, opening yourself up to him. “I’m pretty sure I remember you promising that I’d cum all night?” you tease, biting your bottom lip. His gaze turns almost feral as he sits up, and you really admire his chest. The beads of sweat and chlorinated water mixing together in a shine under his lamplit room. He moves towards you swiftly, like an animal and slots himself right where you want him. He rubs his cock against your pussy lips, covering it in your arousal. His lips meet yours in another kiss, tasting himself on your mouth, yet continuing anyway. His tongue dips inside, meeting with yours.

You gasp in surprise when he thrusts into you all at once, balls slapping against you as he bottoms out. You’re still so wet that your arousal provides enough lubrication. The stretch feels so good, but you don’t need time to adjust. “so full” you moan “you can move.”

“taking me so well” he grunts, pulling almost fully out before thrusting in again.

“ugh” you gasp, breasts bouncing in time with his pushes, “so good. so fucking good.” you enunciate “fucking” and his cock twitches inside you. He’s gripping your hips like a lifeline and leans forward to suck on your neck. At least he tries to suck on your neck. Really he’s just panting and breathing hard right into your ear, it’s everything for you. The feeling of his breath has you arching your back. His right hand leaves your hip to find your own hand, linking your fingers together out to the side. He’s pinning your hand into the mattress as his left hand holds up the majority of his weight. He glides into you at a vigorous pace, and you know you don’t have long. “harder. faster. more.” you find yourself begging.

He is happy to oblige, flipping you over on all fours, and pushing you down until you’re arching into the mattress, weight on your elbows. He plunges into you from behind, hitting a spot you’re not sure anyone has really hit before. he reaches around you, hand circling your clit as he pounds into you, hips snapping with athleticism and strength. Your legs are shaking harder now, and you’re sure you’ll collapse at any moment. his hand is circling harder, and you know he’s close too.

“where do you want it” he pants, gripping your hips again.

“Inside. Please” you gasp, rutting back into him, chasing that final high like an animal.

“Okay” he answers, pulling you up until your back is flat against his chest. you’re bouncing on his dick with fervor when you feel him release, long strings of sticky white painting your walls. He keeps circling you, working you through your own orgasm that hit at the same exact moment. You release your head back, laying against his shoulder, grasping at your breasts for some semblance of reality. Walls clenching around him, milking him dry. You look down to see a white ring around his dick, plugging up your entrance. You smile at the intimate position before you both collapse forward, his dick sliding out of you in the process. You’re panting together, chests rising and falling as your vision slowly returns to normal.

You lay there for a few minutes, wrapped up in each others arms, the only sounds coming from the fan in the corner. You eventually shiver and he feels it, pulling you in closer against his chest.

“I can’t believe you’re real” he mumbles, resting his chin on your shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re real and I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“you softly kiss the back of his hand before resting yours on top of his. “I could have been yours a lot sooner, you know.”

“I know. I was dumb. I’m sorry.”

“you twist in his arms until you’re facing each other.

“do you accept this mind blowing sex as an apology?” He questions, eyebrows raised.

“Yes” you giggle, pecking him on the lips. “but you’ll have to apologize again if you don’t come take a shower with me right now.” you shiver again, now realizing that you never dried off from the pool.

“Yes ma’am” he says, lifting your body up with his. Stay here, I’ll get it ready.

You cross your legs and lean back on your arms, smiling as he retreats into his en suite bathroom. You hear him humming to himself as he turns the water on, and wait until he comes back to get you. He picks you up in a bear hug and you wrap your legs around him koala style as he walks you to the shower, only setting you down once you were being wrapped in the warm droplets of steam. He washes you off, paying special attention to his favorite spots, eliciting giggles from you here and there. He washes your hair and tickles your back with soft passes of his fingers. He half hums/ half sings to you, and you lean against him, eyes heavy with pure bliss.

You’re not sure how long you stayed there, hugging each other under the warmth of the water, but eventually the temperature felt lukewarm, and you decided to get out. He wrapped you in a towel first, helping dry your hair before drying himself and wrapping one around his waist. He changed into a grey pair of sweat pants and (like a little gift to you, no shirt). before grabbing the sheets and announcing that you should go change while he throws them in the washing machine. You padded across the apartment to your room, applying lotion to your legs before slipping on your own pear of sweats. You didn’t get the chance to put on a shirt before he entered carrying one of his own. You raised your arms for him as he slid it over your head and you smiled at the fact that he wanted to share. The cotton was soft and you were on cloud 9 as you both slipped into your bed together, turning off the lamp and cuddling. He was on his back and you on your side, curled into him with a leg wrapped across his. You whispered sweet nothings into each others ears, giggling like teenagers until you drifted off into a sweet slumber. The last thing you heard before falling into sleep was a distant “I love you.”

and you just might have mumbled it back.

---

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Sings Part 20

Hello! We are back with more of this lovely fic. I think this will have 24 chapters if it keeps going the way it's been going this last week. It might surprise me. It has before, so we'll see.

In this we have Chrissy apologizing and Steve meets the family.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19

~

The next morning there was a knock on Steve’s hotel door and he went to go get it. He wasn’t expecting anyone. All the kids knew to wait for him down in the lobby and Eddie was off visiting the mysterious Uncle Wayne. And as far as he knew the rest of the guys were off doing other things today, too.

He opened the door to a large bouquet of purple hyacinth obscuring the person who was carrying them. He knew it wasn’t from Eddie. They would have been yellow and daffodils. His favorite.

Suddenly they were being thrust at him, forcing him to take them. “Oh!”

But once they were in his grasp he could see the bearer’s face. Chrissy was standing there looking sheepish.

“Oh hello,” Steve said awkwardly, standing there with the flowers in his hands. “Um...thanks for the flowers?”

She bustled past him into his room. “Sure, come on in.”

She flopped down on the chair and leaned her elbows on her knees. “Look, I’ve been an ass. I big one. And that’s on me. But I think I need to explain why. So sit down and buckle up. This is going to take awhile.”

“Uh...” he waved at the phone. “I was going to order some breakfast if you want anything.”

Chrissy blinked up at him for a moment. “Sure...um, an egg white omelet with sour cream and ham please.”

“Right on it!” Steve said with a grin. He wandered over to the table and took out the flowers that housekeeping put in a vase on it every two to three days and replaced it with the hyacinths. Then he called down for room service.

“You didn’t have to dump the other flowers,” she said tilting her head to the side as Steve threw them away.

“Nah,” Steve said like a half shrug. “Eddie gets me flowers all the time and I do the same thing. Rosa prefers those to the high priced unscented things the hotel gets and is always happy to see me trash them.”

“You really made friends here,” Chrissy said, leaning back in the chair. “I’ve heard nothing but good about you from the staff.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Look my parents were assholes, but they were rich assholes who knew that if you didn’t treat staff well, than you would get stiffed in service. They raised me to do the same. Then they became my friends when the only people still talking to me were barely teenagers and their parents. Oh and Eddie of course. I would have been lost without them.”

“I’ve severely misjudged you,” she murmured. “Hence the flowers. According the florist purple hyacinths mean ‘please forgive me’ so...”

Steve shrugged and came over to sofa, where he flopped on it sideways, tucking one arm behind his head. “Story of my life. I think the only person who’s come into my life that immediately didn’t judge me for being who I am was Eddie. And even then he was worried I might be under eighteen.”

Chrissy snorted a giggle. “Look, you looked like a baby chick out there in a sea of metalheads so it’s not hard to see why.”

“Oh didn’t I know it,” he said shaking his head. “I was looking to get laid to have a warm place to spend the night and maybe a couch for a week or two while I tried to get out of town. But then Eddie happened and the rest is history.”

“Well,” Chrissy said with a smile, “you certainly made him happy and I’ll admit sending him your fake ID was inspired.”

“Thanks!”

“So as an apology,” she said, continuing, “I’d like to something special for each of your kids. We got Lucas on lock, but I don’t want the rest of them feeling like you love Lucas more...”

“You’ve got younger siblings, don’t you?” Steve asked with a small smile. “I bet they were the gold child that could do no wrong while you were constantly told you’ll never measure up?”

Chrissy blinked at him for a moment. “How did you know? I’m pretty sure if you had sibling they would have been brought up before now.”

Steve sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. “My cousin, Scott. Not the one who bounces for The Hideout, but the one who made my ID. His parents always wanted a little girl and after three boys, finally got one. Amanda was their parents little darling who could burn down an orphanage, steal a police cruiser as her get away vehicle, and crash it into a cancer ward, and they would still find a way to blame Scott or one of his older brothers.”

“Okay then,” Chrissy said with a huff of breath. “Yeah, that’s exactly how it goes. Thankfully he has sense, but yeah. I just don’t want your other kids to feel left out.”

“Agreed,” Steve said. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to fulfill all of them but here’s what they like.” And then he broke down all their passions.

Chrissy nodded. “Hey do you have some paper and a pen? I want to write this all down.”

“On the desk,” Steve replied. “It’s where I tried to live up to other people’s expectations by trying to get a job, even though my dad made it super fucking hard.”

Chrissy got up and moved to the desk. “I heard about the ice cream incident,” she said over her shoulder. “Eddie wanted to sue, but Chief Hopper talked him out of it. I’m still not sure it was the right move to let it go. You could have been seriously hurt by the stunt. What if it had hit your head or you slipped on the sludge? You could have died.”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve said with a sigh, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “But Hopper thought that scaring them by taking them down to the police station would have been enough of an incentive to never do it again.”

Chrissy came back with the paper and pen. “Still bullshit. So let’s make sure I have this right, Max likes skateboarding and video games. Dustin is a huge Corroded Coffin and heavy metal fan, but also likes building little machines and stuff. Mike is also a metal fan, but he likes writing and D&D.” She paused for a moment. “Well, they all like D&D, but especially Mike. Ellie likes fashion and fabric arts. Will is a little artist and has gotten into painting lately...” she looked up from her list. “Does that cover it?”

Steve nodded. “Yup! I hope you can do something for them. Lucas was the easiest because of the basketball game.”

“I can knock out all of them in one event,” she said with a smile. “Or at least one event will spawn a couple of others if I finagle it right. And finagling is what I do best.”

“Oh?” Steve said, tilting his head to the side. “Wha’cha got?”

She stood up with one fluid motion and a change came over her features. Steve suddenly got why this tiny woman was in charge of the biggest metal band in the world.

“You haven’t met Uncle Wayne yet, have you?”

~

Eddie was vibrating happily beside Steve in the Sunbird. “I can’t wait for you to meet Uncle Wayne. He’s the best the thing that ever happened to me.”

“So you’ve said,” Steve said, shifting to let his baby unwind on the country road. “He instilled your sense of responsibility and caring to others in a bad way.”

“Yeah,” Eddie chirped. “He took me in when dear ole dad decided that the best way to pay back the loan sharks on the house was to burn it down for the insurance. Only the dumb bastard used gasoline and even the stupidest adjuster can tell a gasoline fire on the spot. He tried to tell them it was the loan sharks, but they didn’t believe him and he went to jail for arson.”

“Ooh,” Steve said with a grimace. “My dad is an abusive ass, but at least he’s not trying to burn down houses.”

Eddie snorted. “Dad of the Year he was not, ole Al Munson. Was even worse when I got famous and he tried to take credit for my success.”

“From the confines of a jail cell?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow. “That’s some pretty fancy mental gymnastics. Maybe he should try out for the Olympics.”

Eddie laughed.

They pulled up to the house and Steve secretly thought it was amazing. It was a sprawling ranch style house nestled on acres of land, stretching out as far he could see. There weren’t any animals that he could see, but there was an amphitheater and things that were set up for parties and weddings.

A lovely gazebo, a dance floor with an area for the band or DJ, beautiful trees everywhere with fairy lights strung up everywhere. But there was also a wilderness to it as well. Steve could almost hear the sounds of laughter and tinkling of glasses raised in cheer.

It was magical.

Eddie hit his shoulder. “Come on, let me introduce you to the man of the century.”

Steve got out of the car and hurried to catch up to Eddie. They knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal an older man that looked nothing like Eddie at first glance. He had short, thinning grey hair without so much as a hint of a curl, deep set eyes that spoke of a life of hard labor, and a face that was closed off.

Until he saw who was standing on his doorstep. Then the man lit up like it was Christmas. His face fell into an easy smile and the brown eyes twinkled. And there it was, the resemblance.

“Eddie!” Wayne greeted and pulled him in for a hug. “You said you’d be dropping by today, but I thought it would be later in the evening.”

Eddie smiled. “I assumed we’d be later, with lazy over here liking to oversleep, but it turns out the jock is strong with this one!”

Steve pushed Eddie’s shoulder playfully. “I do not oversleep! I get up at eight every morning to go for a swim or a run. You’re the one that likes to sleep in!”

Eddie cackled as Wayne let them in. The house was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. It was warm browns and soft reds with wood paneling everywhere.

“You have a lovely home,” Steve breathed, eye wide, jaw slack. “You can tell it’s well loved and not some stand-in for a catelogue somewhere.”

Wayne tried to suppress his smile, but the amusement crinkled his eyes. “Thank you. The perks of having a rich nephew who likes to dote on everyone and everything.”

Eddie ducked his head and shoved his hair in front of his face. “Flatterer!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Wayne said shaking his head. “Flattery works on you. Get in here, you big goof.” He led them to front room and pointed at the biggest, fluffiest sofa imaginable. “Go ahead and have a seat. I’ll go get us some drinks. Is Coors okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a smile. “Sounds good.”

Eddie nodded and then when Wayne left the two of them alone, the manic energy returned. “So what did you think of him? Like first impressions?”

“I’d have him adopt me from the house alone,” Steve said with a snort. “But no, he seems nice. I like him.”

Eddie grinned. “So this is the type of place you like? Interesting, very interesting.” He stroked his chin like he was stroking an invisible beard.

“You’ve bought me a car, clothes, and even jewelry,” Steve said pulling out his canary necklace from his shirt, “you buy me house and I’d marry you on the spot.”

Eddie leaned into Steve’s space. “That’s an incentive, not a deterrent there, Stevie.”

Steve blushed and was grateful when Wayne came back with the beers.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” he said as he settled into his arm chair. “Eddie liked talking about ya, every phone call, every visit would have something you did or said.”

“Wayne!” Eddie huffed, shoving his hair in front of face again.

“He taking good care of you? My boy?” he asked leveling Steve a stern look. “Don’t feel you hafta lie to me because I’m his relation.”

This time it was Steve’s turn to duck his head to hide his blush. “Yes, sir. He’s been taking care of me better than my own parents could. Or would.”

“Good,” Wayne said with a smile. “Now tell me what you think your Pacers chances are against my Hornets this year...”

Eddie groaned, but Steve leaned forward and started talking to Wayne excitedly.

Eddie smiled fondly as he settled back to watch his two favorite people get acquainted. And if the night went on as it started, they would end up liking each other. And that was all he could ask for really.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @wheneverfeasible @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss @blondie1006

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @themoonagainstmers @cryptid-system @maya-custodios-dionach

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

6- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

7- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt @just-a-tiny-void

8- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

9- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @sadisticaltarts @steddieislife

10- @fearieshadow @kultiras @thesecondfate @tartarusknight @genderless-spoon

[deadexclamationpoint]

Have you ever wondered about the jacket ray is wearing in this photoset because I just did some research

It's a great jacket, I always thought it looked warm and well-made. It's obviously a uniform jacket of some kind, and something he got second-hand (there's still a patch with the last name Henke on the breast pocket). It wasn't until today I noticed the tiny German flag on the sleeve, so I started googling German army surplus jackets from the 2000s and 90s and found this reddit thread

I'll link the whole thread but tldr, these were really common in secondhand stores because Germany has mandatory military service, so nearly every citizen is issued one at some point. They were popular because they're well-made, very warm, cheap, and easy to find. Apparently they were also commonly bought new at surplus stores, but since Ray's still has the name tag it's clearly secondhand. From the little bit of research I did, it seems that this was a phenomenon in the US as well, but less ubiquitous because of geography. (Maybe if I wasn't from the US and born in the late 90s I would have known all this already lol)

The good news is, if you want one, they're still out there. It looks like you'll definitely be paying more than you would have back then, since this particular design is vintage by this point, but I saw plenty of listings that were still a reasonable price for a well-made and warm winter jacket (tbh with the quality of goods now, it's almost certainly better made than things of a similar price point you could buy new). Just look up "German army surplus 90s hooded jacket/parka" and you'll find it. I might try to get my hands on one at some point lol it's a good jacket and if I had known how easy it was to find I would have gotten one last time I was looking for a new winter jacket.

(It's important to note, as several people in various threads pointed out, these had no association with nazis. (Except maybe in the Netherlands? As I saw one person say) That association is generally with German military stuff of that particular era. I think because this design is clearly not that old, you're in the clear if you want to wear one. However, if you want to be really really sure no one makes an unsavory assumption, or just don't want the flag patch, you can probably easily remove it with scissors or a seam ripper, or cover it with another patch or pin. It's small.)

[writingtraumaforever]

Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 39

Notes: I'm baaaack! I had a LOVELY vacation! Tons of fun! All up until the very last day when I got a severe sinus infection and then had to fly home with it and- NEVER fly with a sinus infection, people! It is apparently very dangerous. I had no idea. Long story short, my ears no longer are working properly, I have enough snot to fill an olympic swimming pool, and I am in a constant state of dizziness and am basically drunk. SO. Be patient with me. But I didn't want to keep you all waiting any longer than I already have. So enjoy the chapter and hopefully it makes sense despite being typed in my very drunken state of mind. If not, I'll just fix it later. Smh.

Summary: Shadow and Sonic discuss insecurities.. The Black Arms Invasion is discussed.

UC Masterpost!

Link to MY AO3!

Start:

Shadow has no idea how the heck he got here.

Everything had been going relatively well. This world’s version of Rose turned up with the green chaos emerald she had found while visiting a friend on Seaside Island which had brought them to a solid five emeralds, only in need of two more which isn’t half bad for only being at this for a couple of days.

Not to mention that Amy brought a sense of comfort and familiarity Shadow hasn’t really gotten here thus far. 

Rouge had been nice to see and have around, yes, but this version of Rouge was more standoffish with him. Wouldn’t have much to do with him— which he’s never admit bothered him as much as it actually did.

However, Amy Rose?? She was consistent in both worlds, it seems. A friendly face with a loving heart that was open to Shadow despite him being a bit more grouchy than her typical Shadow.

She had approached him immediately, hugging him and assuring him that they’d get him back home soon.

‘Oh, you poor thing! I can’t imagine how overwhelming all of this must be for you. We’ll have no fear, Amy Rose is here! And I’m here to make sure your time here is as relaxed as it possibly can be! Care for some tea to help calm your nerve??’

She was a godsend, really.

And he did in fact very much appreciate her tea. It definitely was a lot more soothing for him than the infinite amount of coffee he’s been digesting. He was starting to get jittery.

They were just sitting down to properly enjoy their tea and chat with one another about the differences of their worlds when the echidna had come running inside announcing they’d made contact with his own world.

And well.. that went to shit real quick.

It was nice at first. Wholesome. And Shadow would never admit it aloud, but he really did feel better seeing Sonic look so happy. So relieved. All wagging tail and grinning mouth and teary eyes. He was the epitome of joyous at his verbal reunion with his partner. And despite feeling a bit odd hearing his own voice speaking so softly towards the blue hedgehog, it was.. good. 

Sonic needed this..

Speaking of Sonic, his own had piped up at one point and..

It did odd things to Shadow’s stomach.

‘How’s our Shadow??’ he had asked. And while he’s been hearing that obnoxious voice plenty the past several days thanks to being close and personal with this world’s Sonic, there was something about knowing it was his world’s Sonic asking how he was doing that made it.. different.

He had spoken up, being even more thrown off by how ecstatic his own Sonic had sounded hearing from him. How relieved. He hadn’t been expecting it..

They quickly return to their typical banter, trading a few one-liners about Shadow being a grouch and Sonic being an idiot. Typical. Familiar.

He can’t help but smile to himself..

And that’s when the shit hit the fan.

Turns out Alternate Shadow hasn’t informed the team back in normal Shadow’s world about his and Alternate Sonic’s relationship.

Specifically, he hasn’t informed Sonic.

Sonic sounded shocked to say the least.

Shadow stayed quiet through most of it, arms crossed with a small frown on his muzzle as he watches this world’s Sonic become more and more worked up. His blue quills rising defensively, tail no longer wagging and instead pointing in agitation while his ears are folded back in disappointment.

All signs of a not-so-happy hedgehog.

Which makes for a not-so-happy conversation.

“You know what??? Whatever. None of this is essential anyway, so I’m just gonna go do essential things. Here’s Tails.”

Then Sonic was shoving the mic away from himself and standing from the chair with a huff, Shadow frowning and furrowing his brows at the actions that he himself deemed a bit dramatic. Especially when Sonic had been showing so much maturity and wisdom when preaching at him in the kitchen earlier about Shadow running from his identity crisis.

Talk about insecurities. The hedgehog was a hypocrite.

“Sonic-!” Amy called to try and calm him down only for him to tear out of the garage with a sonic boom in his wake and a streak of blue behind.

Amy frowns with a sigh, hugging her arms around herself as she looks in the direction he disappeared off into.

Tails takes over talking to the other world’s group, Shadow turning to face Knuckles with a glare.

“Did you have to tease him about his partner potentially cheating on him??”

“You what?!” Amy gasps, her empathy turning to fury and being directed at the red echidna now.

Knuckles holds his hands up in surrender, eyes wide as he backs away from Amy who looks on the verge of summoning her hammer.

“Wait wait wait—! I was just joking! Come on! How was I suppose to know he’d take it so seriously???”

“You know how he takes everything to heart even if he pretends not to!” Amy growls, her hands moving to her hips as she backs Knuckles into a corner. Rouge sits perched on the nose of the Tornado looking amused by this entire thing.

Shadow just sighs and rubs his fingers into his temples, closing his eyes a moment as the team continues their bickering..

Sonic will be back.

He just needs time to cool off. Think rationally.

His emotions are high right now for a variety of reasons. He simply needs some space..

He expects him to be back within an hour realizing how stupid he was being and how childish. 

But sunset came and went, and there was still no sign of the blue hedgehog late into the night.

So Shadow takes matters into his own hands.

“I’m gonna go after him,” he announces, standing from his seat on the couch and moving towards the door. It’s ridiculous how much of an effect this idiot has on him no matter what world he’s in. Always cleaning up the fool’s messes.

“Uhh- is that the best idea???” Amy asks with knitted brows, rising from her own chair now. They had both been sitting in the living room waiting up for Sonic. She’s dressed in pajamas— a red tank top and white fuzzy shorts with her socks and gloves still on. Her red headband replaced by a red scrunchie holding her hair up in a loose bun. 

Knuckles and Rouge turned in for some sleep— heading out earlier to search for the last two emeralds. Tails is still in the workshop fidgeting with the radio, but Shadow saw him nodding off before he left him be, so he imagines he’ll be turning in soon— if he hasn’t already fallen asleep at his workbench.

“Why wouldn’t it be??”

“Well,” she rubs the back of her neck, “Because he’s gone because he’s upset at his Shadow.. so maybe seeing you will make him emotional again?”

“He’s not upset at his Shadow, he’s upset because he acted foolishly, and I’m sure he realizes that. He’s likely embarrassed.”

“You’re probably right,” she sighs, “But this still isn’t your world.. I don’t think you should be running around alone out there—“

“I can take care of myself, Rose,” Shadow assures with a tiny hint of a smile her direction, Amy seeming to visibly relax at this reassurance, “If I’m not back before sunrise, you can wake the others and come looking. But I’ll be back before two hours, tops.”

She seems hesitant still. Unsure. But after giving it some thought, she gives in and nods with a little frown, “Okay.. but please be careful. And please go easy on him.”

“No promises,” he huffs, turning and walking out the door.

And he knows just where to look.

———

Crawling into the tree he had been to only a few days ago, Shadow can’t help but wonder what he’s about to stumble upon. He’s fairly confident the blue hedgehog will be here since this was introduced as one of his comfort spots, and despite how he may have acted earlier, he knows he’s missing his partner. He just wonders if he’ll find him angry. Or sad. Shadow rather him be angry, honestly. He could deal with angry. He didn’t know how to deal with Sonic being sad.. And frankly, neither did Sonic.

Ducking through the narrow passageway under the ground and through the siding of the mountain, he reaches the hole at the end in the roof of the cave. The vine used to climb up isn’t there, being lifted as a sign of not wanting to be bothered. 

Lucky for Shadow, he has air shoes.

Kicking them in hover-mode, he allows the fumes to slowly lift him off the ground and up through the hole. Peeking out, he finds Sonic there a few feet away sitting amongst the greenery with his knees hugged to his chest..

Shadow sighs through his nose, turning his air shoes off to land on the edge of the hole and slowly step towards him.

He doesn’t speak. Neither does Sonic.

Walking forward until he’s at the hedgehog’s side, he crouches down to sit; once again careful not to smoosh any flowers if he can help it. Sonic doesn’t react, only pulls his legs tighter against himself and buries his mouth into his knees.. Long nose peeking out over them. Shadow’s lips purse, crimson eyes watching the blue hedgehog that just stares ahead at nothing in particular. He can see how fast the hero’s mind is travelling. How despite his current stillness, his head hasn’t stopped moving. 

Shadow knows that feeling all too well.

He sighs from his nose, looking ahead as well to simply take in the moonlit view along with Sonic. Quiet.

They stay like this a long moment.

Shadow just being there with Sonic, so he doesn’t have to be alone..

But he promised Rose two hours. So they can’t stay here all night.

“...You’re an idiot, you know that, right?”

Sonic huffs, chuckling with a small headshake though there’s no amusement in the laugh. More of a scoff than anything.

“You’ve only reminded me of that every chance you’ve gotten since being here.” “Well, don’t do idiotic things, and I wouldn’t have a reason to remind you.”

“What do you want??”

Sonic’s tone is sharp. Trying to give off hostility, but Shadow sees right through it. He hears the ache.. The need for comfort.

“..I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well, I’m fine. So you can go now.” “You have everyone worried.. Especially Rose.” “She’ll be fine. She knows I’ve been through way worse.” “Perhaps that’s why she’s so worried.” Sonic frowns at that, glancing at Shadow out of the corner of his eyes before moving to rest his chin on his knees rather than having it hidden behind his thighs.

“...Don’t act like you know anything any of us have been through.”

“I don’t claim to,” Shadow shakes his head, knowing this is just Sonic trying to avert from the real problem. Him. “But I know what worrying for a friend is like.. And it’s no picnic.”

“Yeah, well then maybe you should go back and let her know I’m fine.” “I don’t intend on returning without you.” Sonic huffs at that, seeming frustrated by Shadow’s persistence but not surprised by it.

“Can’t I just pout in peace?” “So you admit you’re pouting?” Shadow’s brow quirks, head turning to look at Sonic now with a small tilt.

“Yeah, well, I have plenty of reason to be upset,” Sonic remarks defensively, lifting his chin from his knees and turning to glare at Shadow.

“Oh please, Hedgehog, I think we both know you were being a bit dramatic. Your Shadow wouldn’t–” “As if you would know anything about our relationship- about any relationship,” Sonic snaps, brows furrowed and jaw locked.

Every instinct in Shadow screams to match his energy. Give him the same hostility he’s receiving. But he knows that won’t help anything.. So after a long moment of the two just glaring at one another in a challenging sort of way.. Shadow takes a deep breath in and exhales it out slowly.

“You’re right. I don’t know what your relationship consists of. Nor do I know your whole history together or what you’ve been through… But I know myself. And while I am quite different than your version of me, I would like to believe we’re alike enough that I can confidently say I would never even dream of hurting someone I love like that..”

Sonic frowns at this, his scold melting into something a bit more achy and pained.. Green eyes drift away as he looks down at his shoes in thought.

“..I have never been in a relationship. But this-.. It’s not because I don’t recognize what goes into them,” Shadow explains quietly, voice calm and gentle, “I know it takes hard work.. And understanding and communication.. And plenty of patience. I also know it takes loyalty. An undeniable and unquestioning amount of it.”

Sonic’s ears flatten against his head as he listens, arms tightening around his knees as if seeking comfort from them. Like he wants to curl up and hide away in a little ball.

“..I never considered a relationship not because I’m incapable of it.., but simply because I… I feel undeserving of one,” Shadow admits honestly, “I don’t want to drag anyone into my hellhole of a mess. Don’t want to have someone have to deal with my past and try to make a future out of it when I myself struggle to most of the time.” Sonic’s eyes lift to look at Shadow, greens becoming misty as if he wants to disagree and tell him that he shouldn’t think such things but simply doesn’t have the energy to do so right now.

Shadow continues before he can anyway, “So I know how serious relationships are.. I know those who can manage them are admirable.. And I know that if I ever found someone I trusted enough to let in and begin one with?? The thought of even looking anyone else’s way wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

Sonic lets out a shaky little whine at that, hand lifting to press the heel of his palm to his eye and rub there. Trying not to cry. 

He knew Shadow was right. They may not be the same, but both Shadows were certainly alike in many, many ways. There seems to be traits that simply carry through all worlds and dimensions. Shadow’s being his resilience and determination, his patience, his wisdom, his strength, his honesty… and certainly his loyalty.

Because loyal is one of the top words that come to mind when asked to describe Shadow the Hedgehog..

“Damnit..,” Sonic sniffles out, “I was so stupid..” “Yes,” Shadow nods agreeingly, “But I’m sure the other me won’t hold it against you. It’s not as if it’s your first time.” Sonic gives a breathy chuckle at that, dropping his hand from his face to roll his eyes and give Shadow a sad and teary smile. “Yeah, that’s true..” Shadow offers his own tiny smile in response, brows knitting slightly as he slowly reaches a palm out to pat Sonic’s back. It’s a bit awkward, but he’s trying.

“But why wouldn’t he tell your Sonic about us??” Sonic asks with a small sniffle, rubbing his gloved wrist across the underside of his nose. “Well, there’s a lot of possible answers to that,” Shadow sighs, leaning back on his own hands now as he looks up at the starry sky, “My Sonic is an idiot just like you, you see. So having a bombshell like ‘an alternate version of you and your rival are madly in love in another universe’ dropped on him would likely elicit some pretty extreme reactions.” Sonic hums at that, head tilting in thought as he ponders this a moment, “..So you’re saying the alternate me is probably giving him hell right now?” “Oh, absolutely.” “That makes me feel a little better,” Sonic chuckles again, wiping the last of his building tears from his eyes and sighing with a quiet groan, “I’m so embarrassed– He’s probably pissed at me for ruining our first talk since this whole mess started. I mean– how petty was that?? I haven’t heard from my boyfriend in over a week because he’s trapped in an alternate dimension. We’re all potentially gonna die. And instead of taking any time left given to talk to him, I throw a fit over the idea of him cheating on me. And with another version of me, at that!” Shadow hums a chuckle with a shrug, “Pretty petty.” “So petty,” Sonic groans and rubs his hands down his face in frustration with himself before throwing them into the air and falling backwards onto his back dramatically.

Shadow smirks a bit, watching the blue hedgehog laying there beside him dealing with the dumb mistake he’s made..

“..Perhaps it’s more than the secrecy of your relationship in the other world that’s bothering you..” Sonic purses his lips at that, brows furrowing in thought as he looks back down to his shoes.

“..What if-.. What if he doesn’t like me as much as that other version?..”

Shadow sighs at this, opening his mouth to reiterate his alternate’s undying loyalty only for Sonic to stop him.

“No, no, just– hear me out.. He would never cheat on me, you’re right. He’s much too loyal for something like that. But he-.. He could develop feelings? Maybe your Sonic is a better match for him. Maybe he talks to me again and finds that he enjoys talking to your Sonic far more. Maybe he-..” Sonic’s voice cuts short, cracking as the blue hedgehog feels himself getting worked up again. He pauses to take a deep breath before sighing out, “Maybe he doesn’t want to come home..”

Shadow frowns at this, watching how Sonic’s glossy eyes stare at the stars in the sky above them.. the half blown up moon that’s shards still linger here and there. Littered in the black abyss of space.

He knows he’s wondering if the alternate Shadow is looking at that moon too.. 

After a moment, Shadow sighs and lays himself down beside Sonic. His hands crossed over his stomach as the flowers tower and loom around him. Framing the two of them in their spot. He knows he’s gonna be picking petals out of his quills for days after this— ugh.

His own eyes raise to the sky then.. looking at that moon..

And maybe-… maybe his Sonic is looking at it right now, too… or an alternate version of it, at least.

He finds himself wondering if Sonic thinks of him when he looks at the moon the way Shadow thinks of Sonic.. he wonders if he regrets that day during the ARK battle.. how he couldn’t save Shadow.

He wonders if it ever even crosses his Sonic’s mind the way it lingered so heavily on this one’s..

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Shadow says simply after a long moment of silence, his voice almost sad. Melancholic. Longing..

Sonic’s head turns, Shadow can feel his gaze on his profile.

“How could you know that?..”

“Because my Sonic—“ Shadow sighs, catching himself as he shakes his head and corrects, “the Sonic from my world.. He doesn’t feel the way you do. About me.”

Sonic is quiet at that. His head turning back to the sky. Shadow sighs through his nose, finding himself really thinking about this fact for the first time ever. He never really allowed himself to before.. to wonder why Sonic didn’t look for him after the fall. To contemplate that Sonic may just have thought the world was simply better off without him.

While Shadow has the thoughts quite often about himself, for whatever reason the idea of Sonic having them felt… devastating.

Before all this mess, he simply believed that Sonic thought him dead and that was that. Never looked too much into it. But now?.. Now he wondered.. what made Sonic give up on him so quickly.

It was a selfish thing to think, he knows. And it was silly to care. But deep down despite his dismay for even being associated with the blue idiot at times, he always admired him. Respected him. Held him at a higher regard than anyone else. He truly did want Sonic’s approval, his nod of confirmation, his respect and positive attention. The times Shadow has managed to truly disappoint Sonic have been few but every single one have lingered for a long, long time. Never left him. Always haunted him.

Sonic was good.

He wanted to be good in Sonic’s eyes..

He’d never admit such a thing, he’d die before doing so..

But it was a secret truth he carried deep inside himself.

“My Shadow almost killed me.”

Shadow blinks at that, knocked from his train of thought as though he had been going a million miles an hour and suddenly was at zero. 

He certainly wasn’t expecting that.

“I-..”

“Sorry, that was-,“ Sonic sighs and rolls his eyes at himself, realizing his error, “That was a bit heavy and sudden, huh?? I meant that.. I know what you’re thinking. That you.. went too far. That you’re too bad. That your Sonic doesn’t look at you the way I look at my Shadow because you’re just too bad, right??..”

Shadow blinks, head turning to look at Sonic now and their eyes meeting again. He hesitates. Then nods slowly..

Sonic smirks slightly then looks back to the sky, “Yeah. Figures. My Shadow is always way too hard on himself, too.. But what I was sayin’ was.. From what you’ve told me, your life has honestly been kinda mellow compared to my Shadow’s in terms of bad choices.”

“‘Mellow’?” Shadow scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking back to the stars, “I’m afraid my bad choices are vast. You underestimate—“

“My Shadow teamed with Doom during the Black Arms Invasion,” Sonic interrupts again, once again rendering Shadow speechless for a long moment.

Shadow.. doesn’t know what to say to that. Or how to even comprehend it. How could-… how could a Shadow that was found and surrounded by so many people who loved and took care of him ever team with Doom?

“..What happened?”

“It’s.. a long story. A lot of shit happened in the details, and I’ll skip all that for the sake of.. I don’t know. Making it easier on me to talk about,” Sonic chuckles awkwardly, Shadow’s brows knitting at that.

“We don’t have to—“

“No, no. I-.. I want to,” the hero clarifies with a little shrug, his eyes staying on the sky since it’s too hard to look at Shadow in that moment.. 

“..So from what you’ve said, you pretty much sided with us through the Black Arms Invasion?” “More or less..” “Heh, well… my Shadow? He.. he did at first, of course. It wasn’t a few weeks after we found him like it was for you, though. I think we found him sooner after the ARK Battle than the Rouge in your world found your Shadow is why. I spent only a month searching for Shadow before I found him, and then we had four together before Metal Sonic started kicking up his trouble.. The Black Arms invasion came a few weeks after that.” This was certainly different to Shadow’s own timeline where he was awoken five months after the ARK Battle during the Metal Sonic fiasco. The Black Arms was two weeks after, and he wasn’t emotionally connected to anyone at that point. Just lost and confused.. Easily manipulated and searching desperately for his place in this world.

“Black Doom took to Shadow like a parasite. He had him in his head, manipulating and moving his memories around to his liking, making Shadow believe things that never happened and see things that hadn’t yet happened. He didn’t tell anyone. He hid it, not wanting any of us to worry or be scared of him while his own fear of himself just kept growing and growing.. I didn’t even know until it was too late..”

Shadow can hear the guilt in Sonic’s voice. How he blamed himself for not seeing it sooner, for not knowing what was happening before Black Doom’s claws had been so neatly fitted around his Shadow’s neck..

This seemed to be an ongoing trend for them: blaming themselves for the others’ misfortunes.

“And by then Black Doom had Shadow… exactly where he wanted him,” Sonic sighs quietly, his brows furrowing as he remembers it all.. Flashes of the large almost ethereal monster Shadow had become. Dark tentacles, looming wings, sharp and long teeth and claws, so many glowing red eyes staring him down with piercing yellow pupils. How he wasn’t at all himself. How he was lost to something more sinister. Possessed by a higher power.. An heir to an end.

Sonic feels the lump in his throat throb when he swallows, his eyes growing more and more misty again. And he doesn’t want to cry anymore, so he simply takes a deep breath and shuts them as he sighs it out.

“In the end, everything turned out okay. We got him back. That’s what’s important.” It’s obvious that Sonic isn’t going to go anymore into it. Not yet, anyway. Not right now. Shadow doesn’t push it..

Instead, he reaches a hand over slowly and lets the backs of his fingers ever so slightly brush against the blue hedgehog’s. Simply letting him know he’s there. That he’s not alone. Not back in whatever place this talk has taken him to.

The corner of Sonic’s lips curl upwards at that, sighing as his eyes open again to look back at Shadow. A bit teary, but not shedding anymore.

“So trust me when I say… My Shadow and I have quite literally been to hell and back, and I only love him more. Whatever your Sonic is thinking about you, it’s not that you’re not good. If anything, it’s that he’s not.”

Shadow frowns at that, brows furrowing in confusion at that response. Why would Sonic think he himself isn’t good?? That’s all that dumb hedgehog is is good.

Still, he doesn’t argue on this. Just stores this knowledge away for later to ponder and contemplate on.

Sonic’s hand reaches up then, plucking a tiny piece of petal from Shadow’s quills and smirking as he drops it between them. Shadow watches it flitter to the ground.

“...It sounds like we both are talking to the wrong alternate of each other..”

“Yeah,” Sonic huffs, his smile growing a bit tired and wary as his eyes lift back to Shadow’s, “I gotta agree with you on that one.”

[pepis-benis]

felt like posting a lil bit more

“Mom, what are you doing?” he asked, leaning against the counter next to her as she drew. This was a sketch of Henry from the day before, hatted and scarfed with his head tilted back in laughter. She had taken a picture of him, but she found that she was actually pretty good at drawing, apparently a skill she had just never had the time or circumstances to grow. She finished the wisp of Henry’s hair curling from under his hat before setting down the charcoal and turning to her son.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Mr. Genius?” she poked at him, resting her elbow on the kitchen island and setting her chin in her hand to look at him. At some point in the last several months, Henry had gotten grown. He didn’t look like a little kid anymore, baby fat beginning to recede as he shot up several inches. He was almost as tall as Emma, his head no longer a chin rest for her as they stood in lines. His voice cracked on occasion, and the starts of puberty were clear on his face, tiny outbreaks of blemishes reminding Emma that she needed to pick up facial cleanser for him to start using.

The ache in her chest hit full force as he looked at her, the head tilt and eyebrow raise combo not affecting her in the usual way. The balm was there, and it soothed the feeling momentarily, but it quickly gave way to something else, something she couldn’t quite name. It hurt worse. She turned her head back to the counter. “I think I’m getting pretty good.”

“When was the last time you went out?” Henry asked, unimpressed and ignoring her last statement. Emma sighed, rolling her eyes as she looked back at him. This was a recurring conversation, starting a few months after they had settled into their new life.

“Hen, I really don’t need to go out, you know. If I went out, I’d miss out on you. It won’t be long before you’re too cool for your old mom,” Emma said, reaching her non-charcoal covered hand out to brush hair from his eyes. “You need a haircut.”

He batted her hand away. “I don’t need a haircut; you need to stop changing the subject.” He took a step away from her, hand on his hip. The stance hit the pain just right, strengthening the name escaping feeling. Emma couldn’t shake the familiarity of it, threaded through the growing ache. “I love us spending so much time together, Mom, really I do. Moving here actually turned out to be awesome. But you have to have more to your life than just me and work.”

“I have hobbies,” she shot back. In reality, she had one hobby, and it was drawing a faceless figment of her dream imagination. Kind of sad at 30 years old, but beyond working out, chasing bail jumpers, and making an attempt at motherhood, it was the only thing she really had time left for. Henry didn’t care, anyway, going straight for the obvious.

“You have one hobby. And you have gotten really good. But when was the last time you went out? What's his face? Walnut or whatever?”

“Walsh,” Emma supplied. Walsh was nice, mostly unimpressive. He wasn’t Emma’s usual type, easy going and mellow. They talked for hours the times he actually got Emma out of the house, but it all felt surface level to her, nothing deep or emotionally connecting. Walsh was fine; he was safe. He had never met Henry, and, like the other sporadic dates she had over the years, she wasn’t sure he would.

“Walsh,” Henry corrected, an unimpressed look on his face. Emma concurred. “You should go out with Walsh. Like, tonight.”

Emma set her face, her ears pricking at the tone in her son’s voice. He was up to something. Operation Make Mom Go Out, probably Code Name Constrictor or something similar. “What are you up to, huh? Trying to throw a wild party?”

“Yes, at twelve years old, I’m trying to get you out of our two-bedroom apartment so I can throw a wild party. You caught me,” Henry rolled his eyes. Her chest got tighter. He sat in the barstool next to hers, leaning his head against her shoulder to look down at his charcoal likeness. “You’re so busy making sure I’m okay here, but what about you, Mom? I want you to be happy, too.”

“Henry,” Emma started, but the rest of her sentence disappeared as tears formed unbidden. She wiped them as sneakily as she could, but Henry wrapped his arm around her back and squeezed.

“I know I was an ass when we moved,” Emma ignored his swearing; he got it from her, after all. “But I really do like it here. Everything moves so fast, there are so many people. You can just go out and…”

“Be anybody,” Emma finished. She understood the feeling. Reinventing herself was something she shied away from, too set in the safety she had clawed out for herself and Henry. Maybe he was right; she needed to embrace the city like he had. Maybe it was time for a change. But something would never be the same, no matter that she didn’t know what it was. “Fine, kid; you win. I’ll see if Walsh is busy tonight.”

The smile that lit across Henry’s face was at least a thousand kilowatts, beaming at her with such intensity that she had no choice but to smile back and laugh as she leaned into his embrace. Emma wiped the dried tears from her eyes before rubbing her nose and standing from her stool. “How’d you get so wise, anyway, smart guy?” she asked in jest as she hip-checked him. He scoffed, bumping her back harder as she passed him into the hallway.

“I definitely didn’t get it from you,” he called after her. “Must’ve been my other mom!”

It was a joke, one cracked often at moments like this. But as Emma closed her bedroom door, the words settled over her like a fog, clinging to her skin and sinking deep into her chest. My other mom. The words echoed in her mind, sharper this time. She had laughed it off a hundred times before, but tonight they lingered, scraping at the edges of that ever present, hollow ache.

Untitled Document

Moving to New York had been a spur of the moment decision. Emma tried her best to fight her urge to run, to not stay in one place for too long, for Henry’s sake. It had been fine when he was younger; at least, that’s what she told herself. At twelve, on the edge of teenager-hood, he wanted to keep his friends longer than a school year. Emma didn’t blame him for wanting to grow roots, nor did she blame him for his surliness as they loaded the Bug for yet another move. She fed him a story about an old contact giving her a lead on plenty of work in the city and how good it would be for him.

“This is the last time, I promise. We’re staying in New York,” she had sworn to him.

But she wasn’t convinced in herself. And neither, Emma knew, was he.

New York had seemed like an answer. The inexplicable pull she felt to the city made sense to her—big city, great views, lots of bail jumpers. It was good for them; there was no shortage of idiots that thought they could run faster than her. Henry seemed to decide to ease up on his insistence on being mad at her, finding the amount of freedom he had in the city a suitable consolation prize for his suffering. He found the best pizza place and arcade within walking distance and filled their apartment with the smells and sounds that accompanied tweens and their friends. They found their stride together, creating new traditions as they adjusted. Still, the nagging persisted that something was wrong, tugging in Emma’s chest growing, twisting with an ache she had been ignoring since they’d returned from that damn road trip, to Maine, of all places.

At first, she thought it was just stress. Work picking up, Henry struggling to find his rhythm in a new place—but soon, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was pulling at her. Sleep no longer offered rest. Instead, it brought strange, hazy dreams where she fought dragons and wielded magic. They were ridiculous, something out of one of Henry’s comic books. Yet they always left her hollow, like she was searching for something vital—something she needed but couldn’t name.

The first time the woman appeared, Emma bolted upright in bed, drenched in sweat. The dream lingered, more real than any she’d had before: the weight of the woman’s hands on her shoulders, her voice urging Emma to take Henry to New York. “You’ll be happy there,” she’d said, her tone insistent yet tender. Emma could still see the wind tearing through the woman’s dark hair, her blurred face streaked with tears that Emma somehow felt, as though they were her own.

The emotions left Emma reeling—hot tears burning her cheeks, her breath coming in short, shallow bursts, her heart pounding erratically in her chest. It didn’t make sense, but it hurt, and the ache was unbearable.

Emma was no stranger to yearning for something she had never had. She’d spent a majority of her life with a quiet, persistent ache for something just out of reach - not meant for her. But this was different, sharper, more relentless. The only thing soothed her was Henry. His crooked smile and his laugh were a balm to the rawness in her chest. And when he gave her that look, the one where he cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head, mouth pursed in indignation as if to say Really?, it flooded her like cool water on a burn, washing her of the consuming restlessness.

The dreams slowly became clearer, more focused and less abstract. Emma shifted into a hero, saving people from curses and impossible threats. The mysterious woman came into focus slightly, no longer a vague shadow, but Emma’s partner, summoning fireballs and coaching her through spells. Their interactions had a sharp, playful edge, a strange kind of chemistry that made Emma crave the nights when they bantered and bickered like old rivals. The woman’s presence had become a strange comfort, and Emma clung to it, longing to see her face, to know her.

Sometimes, Emma thought she was close. She could almost make out the woman’s features, but the moment she tried to focus, the image would dissolve. Her voice would fade, the dream would collapse, and Emma would be left awake and frustrated in the dark. The woman began to haunt her—not in a frightening way, but with an ache that Emma couldn’t explain. She bought a sketchbook, desperate to capture her, drawing face after face in search of the right one. It wasn’t long before the pages filled with imagined eyes, lips, and expressions that didn’t quite fit.

It became an obsession. Emma went about her normal life, grocery shopping, dry cleaning, and catching assholes. But after Henry was tucked into bed, a comic book sprawled open on his chest, Emma would sketch. She had no real experience drawing, just a high school art class that she had mostly skipped in favor of literally anything else. Still, over time she developed some skill, consistently reproducing an accurate outline of the woman’s face and hair. No other feature she drew seemed to fit her face, even with the How to Draw Faces book she’d checked out when she took Henry to the library.

It was somewhere between her third and fourth sketchbook, Henry decided to intercede.

[cockroachesunite]

i have no explanation for this

[loderlied]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

[cakerybakery]

Part three.

-

Several things clicked in Lucifer’s head very suddenly.

The fact he just poured cold lube into his pocket pussy right before Adam screamed.

The fact that he had been fucking his toy while Adam was apparently getting screwed by some unknown force.

The fact that often lately it seemed like his toy was responding. Squeezing him, being warmer than he was used to, the feel was different too, tighter.

Lucifer dashed back to his room and grabbed the toy, then hurried back.

Adam had buried his head under his pillow.

Keeping the toy just out of sight of the room, Lucifer slipped a finger in the silicon tube fashioned to look like a woman’s cunt.

Adam jumped and whimpered.

“What’s going on?” Lucifer asked.

“He’s back.”

“Tell me what’s happening.”

“He’s fingering me.”

Lucifer tried to find the spot he was looking for. He knew he succeeded when Adam moaned. “Oh, God!”

He pulled his finger out. “Well, I have some bad news.”

Adam pulled his head out from under his pillow. “God. What? How could this get worse?”

“… Okay. I have bad news for me. For you it’s probably good news. I figured out what’s going on. And this toy is dead to me now.” He held up the pocket pussy. “Seems someone cast a spell on this. And I also know who did it.”

He was a little off kilter, but Adam got up off the bed, crossed the room, and yanked the toy from Lucifer’s hands. Adam pushed his fingers in and went red faced before whipping them out. “Who the fuck did this?”

“Lilith.” Lucifer reached up and turned the toy over where it was engraved.

‘For a little fun while I’m gone. Love, Lili’

“She much have spelled it before she left. But it obviously didn’t work while you were an angel. So I’m not sure if she was spelling you exactly or if you just ended up in the crosshairs of the spell somehow.” Lucifer frowned. Either his ex was very confused about why he hadn’t been fucking her at a distance for the last couple of months, or she was really mad at Adam for some reason and really hoped he turned into a sinner.

Yeah, it was starting to sound like she tried to spell it to herself and Adam got caught in the spell somehow.

Adam took the toy, opened a drawer, dropped it in, and slammed it closed. He pushed Lucifer out the door and slammed that too.

Lucifer didn’t know what else to do. He should apologize, but what do you say? Hey, bud, sorry for using your ass as my personal cum dumpster for a while now. I didn’t know.

…

Probably not the cum dumpster part, but not bad. He’d probably have a while to work on it. Adam wasn’t likely to leave his room any time soon.

He wandered back to his room. Lucifer had been in the middle of something and now he was going to have to finish himself off the old fashioned way.

Settling himself back on his bed, he stroked himself. But instead of thoughts of Lilith, is brained supplied the moans Adam was making.

The whimpering and blasphemy.

Did Adam get off to being fucked? He sure looked turned on. What would it be like to really be in Adam? Those long legs spread for him.

The man was a giant, having to duck to go through doors. To fuck him from behind, Adam would probably need to be on his knees and bent over the bed Lucifer had to enlarge just for him to sleep on.

Would he be as tight and warm as he’d felt with the toy?

He squeezed his hand to stimulate how Adam would squeeze him and groaned.

Between his memories and imagination, Lucifer had enough material to cum to.

The devilish part of him wishes he’d ignored Adam scream, he could have warmed the gel quickly, left Adam moaning instead. Panting. Calling Lucifer’s name.

Lucifer tensed and came all over his hand.

This was going to be a problem.

Magic 🪄 pocket pussy and it's connected to Adam

[gingersnapwolves]

So today I want to talk about puberty blockers for transgender kids, because despite being cisgender, this is a subject I’m actually well-versed in. Specifically, I want to talk about how far backwards things have gone.

This story starts almost 20 years ago, and it’s kind of long, but I think it’s important to give you the full history. At the time, I was working as an administrative assistant for a pediatric endocrinologist in a red state. Not a deep deep red state like Alabama, we had a little bit of a purple trend, but still very much red. (I don’t want to say the state at the risk of doxxing myself.) And I took a phone call from a woman who said, “My son is transgender. Does your doctor do hormone therapy?”

I said, “Good question! Let me find out.”

I went into the back and found the doctor playing Solitaire on his computer and said, “Do you do hormone therapy for transgender kids?” It had literally never come up before. He had opened his practice there in the early 2000s. This was roughly 2006, and the first time someone asked. Without looking up from his game of Solitaire, the doctor said, “I’ve never done it before, but I know how it works, so sure.”

I got back on the phone and told the mom, who was overjoyed, and scheduled an appointment for her son. He was the first transgender child we treated with puberty blockers. But not, by far, the first child we treated with puberty blockers, period. Because puberty blockers are used very commonly for children with precocious puberty (early-onset puberty). I would say about twenty percent of the kids our doctor treated were for precocious puberty and were on puberty blockers. They have been well studied and are widely used, safe, and effective.

Well. It turned out, the doctor I worked for was the only doctor in the state who was willing to do this. And word spread pretty fast in the tight-knit community of ‘parents of transgender children in a red state’. We started seeing more kids. A better drug came out. We saw some kids who were at the age where they were past puberty, and prescribed them estrogen or testosterone. Our doctor became, I’m fairly sure, a small folk hero to this community. 

Insurance coverage was a struggle. I remember copying articles and pages out of the Endocrine Society Manual to submit with prior authorization requests for the medications. Insurance coverage was a struggle for a lot of what we did, though. Growth hormone for kids with severe idiopathic short stature. Insulin pumps, which weren’t as common at the time, and then continuous glucose monitoring, when that came out. Insurance struggles were just part and parcel of the job.

I remember vividly when CVS Caremark, a pharmaceutical management company, changed their criteria and included gender dysphoria as a covered diagnosis for puberty blockers. I thought they had put the option on the questionnaire to trigger an automatic denial. But no - it triggered an approval. Medicaid started to cover it. I got so good at getting approvals with my by then tidy packet of articles and documentation that I actually had people in other states calling me to see what I was submitting (the pharmaceutical rep gave them my number because they wanted more people on their drug, which, shady, but sure. He did ask me if it was okay first).

And here’s the key point of this story:

At no point, during any of this, did it ever even occur to any of us that we might have to worry about whether or not what we were doing was legal.

It just never even came up. It was the medically recommended treatment so we did it. And seeing what’s happening in the UK and certain states in America is both terrifying and genuinely shocking to me, as someone who did this for almost fifteen years, without ever even wondering about the legality of it.

The doctor retired some years ago, at which point there were two other doctors in the state who were willing to prescribe the medications for transgender kids. I truly think that he would still be working if nobody else had been willing to take those kids on as patients. He was, by the way, a white cisgender heterosexual Boomer. I remember when he was introduced to the concept of ‘genderfluid’ because one of our patients on HRT wanted to go off. He said ‘that’s so interesting!’ and immediately went to Google to learn more about it. 

I watched these kids transform. I saw them come into the office the first time, sometimes anxious and uncertain, sometimes sullen and angry. I saw them come in the subsequent times, once they were on hormone therapy, how they gradually became happy and confident in themselves. I saw the smiles on their faces when I gave them a gender marker letter for the DMV. I heard them cheer when I called to tell them I’d gotten HRT approved by insurance and we were calling in a prescription. It was honestly amazing and I will always consider the work I did in that red state with those kids to be something I am incredibly proud of. I was honored to be a part of it.

When I see all this transgender backlash, it’s horrifying, because it was well on the way to become standard and accepted treatment. Insurances started to cover it. Other doctors were learning to prescribe it. And now … it’s fucking illegal? Like what the actual fuck. We have gone so far backwards that it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how to stop this slide. But I wrote this so people would understand exactly how steep the slide is.

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[luckyladylily]

So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.

I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.

People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.

I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.

I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.

I want you to keep all that in mind.

So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"

My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.

Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.

When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.

"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"

I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.

Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.

When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.

It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.

[mayakern]

Things are bad right now.

As many of you know, way back in 2020 we weren’t sure if our business was gonna make it. Our factory was already on break for Lunar New Year–a month-long holiday for many businesses in the area–and with the announcement of COVID19, everything shut down indefinitely. We knew immediately we were in for a bad time. Despite our fears, our sales grew so far beyond anything we ever expected, to the point where we had to hire two employees just to keep up with demand! 

Unfortunately, even after our factory reopened, our problems were not over. Their quality drastically declined almost immediately, to the point that a significant amount of our  fabric would literally fall apart in transit between the factory and our office. Because of this, we discovered that our sales rep had no idea what she was doing and knew nothing about the factory she was representing, so when we told her the fabric was garbage her response was “👍 factory said it’s good!” At the beginning, only roughly 10% of our new product was defective and we were able to sell the affected items with a reasonable discount. By the end of our relationship with that factory, 40% of our midi skirts and 70% of our miniskirts were defective, some affected so severely that they practically fell apart when touched. And still, our rep said everything was fine and there were no problems and the fabric composition had not changed.

So in 2022 we changed factories. We hired Ash to handle this since I was way too busy managing fulfillment to do the amount of research and communication necessary to find us a factory that met our criteria. Finding clothing factories that can make clothing over a size 2-3X is significantly more difficult than one that can’t because it often requires larger and more expensive machinery. But Ash did it: she got us set up with a new factory that has excellent certifications for both their labor practices and their methods for textile production, that delivers consistent, high quality sewing on well made fabric that can be printed without suffering loss in detail–and she was armored with the knowledge for what makes a quality garment so she could check them if they tried to screw us on quality. Their minimum orders were way higher than our previous factory’s, so we decided to focus on ordering more units of fewer designs. We ordered way too much our first round–some of those designs were in stock until the 2024 blowout sale! But it worked out, and slowly we had a warehouse full of stuff to sell.

Fast forward to 2024, business is slowing down between the economy being bad and what seemed to be a general skirt fatigue amongst our customers. We tried expanding into shirts, which would’ve been successful if our minimums were lower. In the late spring we realized we were in trouble if we didn’t make drastic changes and we ultimately decided to end in-house fulfillment and transfer to a third party fulfillment center that would support domestic shipping in Canada and eventually the UK, EU, and Australia. In order to make that transition affordable we drastically discounted everything and that sale was super successful! We were able to begin shipping from the fulfillment center with an almost clean slate, even if it did mean having to close the store for almost two months and thereby missing out on two very important months of sales.

Unfortunately, we were stupid. We continued to order new designs on an every other month schedule instead of switching to an every month schedule, forgetting that having a backstock in a variety of designs is what previously helped us float between orders and now we quite literally didn’t have enough inventory to match the sales we made for last year’s holiday sale.

That brings us to now.

We’re a little stuck. We have a round of skirts in production (yay!) but they won’t get here until February (boo!). To get back on that monthly cycle we would need to order the next round of skirts right now, but we can’t pay for production until that next round of skirts gets here; if the current sale goes well, it’s paying payroll, not production. We are currently in the very difficult, horrible situation of not having enough money for next month’s payroll unless we are somehow able to make significant sales with our very sparse inventory.

We’re scrappy and we do our best to adapt to disasters and I’m sure we’ll find a way to adapt to this one as well, it’ll just take us some time to get there. Basically we’re going to be okay eventually–hopefully later this year–but in the meantime if we seem frantic, now you know why. 

If you’re been considering trying out our viscose shirts but haven’t been able to justify paying full price, they’re on clearance PLUS half off right now! That’s $9-$15 for the viscose tops, and other tops on clearance are $20-$45. Some of the shirts we’re having a LOT of trouble selling are now priced below cost to help us recoup some of the money we spent making them.

Any amount of support helps right now. Sharing posts, telling your friends, buying a $9 shirt–all of it helps. If our clothing isn’t your thing, we also have a Patreon you can support for as little as $1 a month. https://www.patreon.com/mayakern

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day and that 2025 is a brighter, kinder year for us all.

[sonrium]

DP X DC: A Minor Drinking Problem

Phantom is a relatively new member of the JLA, but it's been a few months, and things are settling in well. He's shy and polite but is a master of the snark with villains.

Before a big mission, the all hands on deck kind, everyone is talking about scars and the crazy stories behind them to distract from the coming fight. Danny, finally feeling like he can join in the conversation with all these adult heroes, pulls off his right glove to show a pretty gnarly scar on the back of his wrist. “I got this one when I fought a guy from the Revolutionary War a few weeks ago! Didn't think he'd charge me with a bayonet.” He shares a couple more stories and scars, but only the ones that he can easily show off.

Because of stories like that and some historical depictions of Phantom from different time periods, they think he's this ancient and powerful immortal that just looks like a teenager, it wouldnt be the first time. He's powerful enough to go toe to toe with Superman, so there's no way he's actually a kid. He even sometimes has the haunted, world weary eyes that their most hardened members only get after experiencing too much. Danny, being our lovable, obliviously dense idiot, has not realized that they think he's an ancient being.

After the mission concludes -it was a rough one-, the JLA celebrate their victory with a couple drinks back at the watch tower. Danny is understandably uncomfortable with this whole situation and keeps asking, “Are you sure I should be here?” They reassure him it's fine as they pass around beers, which Danny politely declines several times. Danny eventually sees this as the perfect chance to pad his blackmail folders on his inebriated coworkers.

Anyway, as the night goes on, they have a good time, but Phantom still hasn't gotten a drink like the rest of them, and Green Lantern (or hero of your choice) really wants their shy friend to come out of his shell. So, he slams an open beer bottle on the coffee table in front of Phantom. “Come on Phantom! Let loose a little. Celebrate!”

“Dude! What the hell?! I'm 16! That's illegal!” Phantom squeaks in shock.

“We don't care how old you were when you died. It's how long you've been a ghost that counts.” Flash slings an arm around Danny's shoulders from where he’s sat next to him on the couch. Flash can't get drunk, but he also thinks it would be fun to see their uptight new member drunk.

“That's even worse! You'd be giving alcohol to a two year old!” Phantom is horrified that his coworkers are so casually breaking the law.

“But you said you fought in the Revolutionary War this morning!” Green Lantern said with his eyebrows knit in confusion.

“No, I said I fought someone from the Revolutionary War. As in, the ghost of someone from the revolutionary war!”

“You can't pull that on us. There's murals and stuff of you from thousands of years ago.” The Flash waves off with a laugh.

Phantom’s finger presses painfully hard into Flash’s chest. “I do not need to explain time travel to you of all people. My mentor hates you, and I'm STILL sent on missions constantly to clean up your messes.” Phantom's clear and low. Flash liked it better when he was shouting and not staring him down like a predator with narrowed eyes.

(This random idea popped into my head. It made me laugh, so I thought you might, too. Here you go!)