#but you can only kill your bros on accident and not on purpose

[beyblaiddyd]

The one until dawn thing I dont think theyve ever fully managed to recapture is the like energy of the scene where Emily tells everyone she was bitten and they're debating whether to kill her or not and I obviously prefer the route where Emily lives both because I love love love Emily and also it gave us understand the palm of my hand bitch the most important piece of dialogue of all time but the like decision Mike makes and how he tries to justify it after and how everyone Reacts to him doing it is so inchresting I want to see this again

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Shinji Ikari

Y'all Hate Teens Propaganda

(cw parental abandonment, possession (?), strangulation, suicidal thoughts)

Eva is all about just how shitty it is for children to have the pressure of saving the world forced upon them. He is a traumatized boy who acts in a realistic way for someone of his age and in that situation but people hate him for being a coward when he is. Fourteen.

-

His mother died, his father abandoned him, he was guilted into being a child soldier by his dad wheeling out a severely injured girl. He's had to watch people he cares about get hurt, he's gone through intense physical and emotional suffering himself, but people keep going "Shinji's so whiny, why is he crying, just get in the robot Shinji"

-

Bro was abandoned by his dad after his mom died, and is only reunited with him so he can risk his life fighting bizarre alien monsters and getting repeatedly traumatized. He’s super depressed, awkward around the girls he likes, is forced to fight and harm one of his best friends, and when he finds a boy he likes is forced to kill him. Lots of people criticize his personality and his actions and his lack of desire to fight, but his responses are a product of everything that’s happened to him. He’s a flawed and complex character who gets a lot of shit from people who don’t understand the show.

-

So, you're Shinji Ikari.  You're 14, your mother is dead, you haven't seen your father in years, and you live alone, so you're understandably struggling with your mental health.  One day, your town is being attacked by an alien behemoth/nuked by government forces attacking said alien, and so your father sends a car to evacuate you to an underground shelter.  Of course, there's a catch.  After being taken to a chamber with a giant robot, your father then appears and tells you to pilot it and go fight the alien you were just running from.  Naturally, you refuse, and suddenly everyone is mad at you.

Alas, it wasn't just the control room that thought Shinji didn't measure up, but nearly the entirety of the real-world fandom.  Nearly everywhere you go, you can find someone deriding him for being selfish and cowardly, and having a poor response to having the fate of the world placed on his shoulders, in addition to his pre-existing depression, anxiety, and parental trauma.  The series was released in 1995, which was exactly the right time for Shinji suffering memes to become the foundation of anime internet culture.  Seriously, it goes deep.  Even his creators seem to think he's a bad character, as in pretty much every iteration of the series after the original, either his personality is changed to be more assertive, or he faces even more consequences for his perceived faults.

The real kicker is that there are plenty of moments in the original series that directly contradict the idea that Shinji is either selfish or cowardly!  For starters, although the reason he keeps piloting the EVA is a desire for purpose and approval, the reason he chose to start was because if he didn't, then Rei Ayanami, who had just suffered major injuries in a testing accident, would.  The first time he ran away due to panic, it was his self-loathing that brought him back, but the second time was because when his classmate was trapped in a rampaging EVA, his father remotely took control of his suit (which is connected to his nervous system, so it was more like puppeting his body) and forced him to nearly strangle his classmate to death.  However, the next time an Angel attacked, Shinji came back because he couldn't let everyone die if he could do something about it.  Although he is shy and submissive around his commanders and fellow pilots, Shinji's self-sacrificing nature drives him to incredible feats of reckless bravery in battle, putting himself in harm's way and attacking with alarming ferocity.  Shinji's guilt complex combined with his passive suicidality causes a lot of problems for both himself and the people around him, but to reduce him to a selfish coward misses the nuance of his character.

I provide the above paragraph not because Shinji needs any redeeming qualities to justify his trauma, but because the fact that he has multiple on-screen breakdowns and is vocal about his needs causes almost everyone to ignore his genuine strengths.  Even in sympathetic fix-it fics, Shinji is often treated as a flat protagonist with generic ""issues"", when in reality he is a whole cocktail of compelling character traits!  Yeah, he regularly breaks down under his stress!  He also refuses to give up, and not always for the right reasons!  His need to be a good pilot often causes a lot of problems!  Without him and his unique personality everyone would have died before the end of the series!  He puts almost everyone and everything before himself, except when he can't!  He loves his walkman!  He looks completely unassuming!  He's an absolute maniac!  He's the folding-chair guy!  He's Shinji Ikari!

Anyway, if you also love Shinji, this is your cue to go off in the notes.  The internet may be full of decades of misinformation, but we can stay strong!  There's no running away!

[amooo1023]

How about Grime X Human Reader romantic headcanons?

Bro, I just- LOVE GRIME OKAY!? When I saw your request I was so happy. Anyways, YES I WILL WRITE FOR THIS THANK YOU ANON.

Grime x human reader ROMANTIC HEADCANONS

There are a few ways you could've met him.

A: You got captured after getting teleported in amphibia

B: You met him while with Anne

Both of which will have the same outcomes.

If you are charming enough or get the help of Sasha eventually a relationship will bloom with Grime.

Anne will take longer time but it will have the same outcome.

In these headcanons however, I will just get straight to the point. No meeting headcanons or anything like that, just romantic and fluffy.

Now let's go on with the headcanons!

Since you are a human if you brought any snacks with you from the trip to amphibia. (Although I'll admit it was an accident stumbling upon those teenagers, especially with snacks.) Grime will absolutely eat it all up. No questions asked you might not even realize it because of how quick he is.

Good at cooking? Done, now you have your very first number one customer, your boyfriend. A real sucker for food, so the fact that you can cook will be an absolute dream for him. He might crave certain types of. But you won't mind, would you?

Bake him cake once and he will crave it for every breakfast. Good luck. Unless of course you purposely bake it bad just to stop him from asking for a cake every single second. Works like a charm!

He is so- SO fucking cuddly. The minute you even come close to your bed he zooms into it. Practically begging you to join him. Also morning cuddles, MORNING CUDDLES! He just loves cuddling with you. Your skin is so soft because of your human form so it just makes things a lot cosier for him.

He loves getting kisses. Especially in the morning. So if you could give him some morning kisses. Also with a little charm and kisses it could wake him up! So if you're in a hurry, you have a little trick under your sleeve.

So confident in himself honestly. One time he threw himself off a cliff for a fucking oversized bug just because it looked at you funny. Don't ask.

He is very loyal. Literally in any situation you might fall in he will always pick your side. And I mean ANY situation.

He is protective over you. But he knows humans can defend themselves (considering Sasha). So he won't be THAT protective and personally he wants to see how you escape out of situations. He thinks it's nice when you learn new skills and all that.

However, if you do show signs of not knowing to fend for yourself, he will train you. And possibly becoming a twinge more protective.

Okay can we just talk about his touch-starved self?! He so touch-starved. Constantly clinging onto you and showering you with kisses. He literally tackles you to the floor for a hug.

He likes being outside a lot. Don't expect you two to be inside a lot. He also likes the breeze and feeling of adventure. So yes time to run in an unknown territory again just for fun. And possibly almost get killed.

You two go out in dates a lot. Also he's more for food or going on adventures with you. That's his type of dates. Definitely not because he finds it romantic saving you from danger at times.

Also I have a feeling he likes doing things the toad way? Or just like weird cultural shit they have. They have a very violent type of culture you gotta say.

My guy is kinda shit at flirty comments or to hint at something. Please help him, he's only used to being straightforward with his requests. (Poor guy)

Not that he can't be snarky. He has his times where he's coy and teasing as fuck. Buy it doesn't happen often.

I hope you enjoyed this!

[angelkiller666]

RP pet peeves

just a little rant that is relatable, BUT also not super serious. it's not SUPER bad, but i thought i just vent a bit. just a little hey, i like Roleplaying! it's fun, and they help with developing OCs and better stories! BUT here's some things that i REALLY despise: 1: when the opposite party tries to change up your character your roleplaying as to get their desired reaction. (i sometimes do this, but ONLY if they were RPing as one of MY OCs. sometimes it does come out of habit) doing it once or twice is fine, especially when you have a specific scenario, BUT doing it all the damn time is annoying and also down-right rude. say like the OC your playing as, would normally react to hugs negatively, and the opposite party goes in and says "oh! they really enjoy hugs!" that's not really a good look now, is it? especially the OC they tried to dictate isn't theirs to change up. unless they had permission, this is NOT something you should do. just don't. respect their OC choices, and they in return, should respect your OC choices.

2: when they jump-skip times before you have a chance to put in the scene on what's happening. that just defeats all purposes of the story of whatever RP your doing. now sometimes it may be completely on accident, BUT there's instances where they do it to for some reason avoid a particular scene you were setting up. it's rude and sometimes uncalled for. if you don't know what's coming up next, DON'T skip out on it. it may be important to the story. now of course, time-skips can be used to prevent the RP from being dragged out in a boring way and casting out unnecessary parts. but don't do it when a scene's coming up.

3: when they ALWAYS want to do THEIR RP ideas and refusing to do any of your RP ideas. i have 2 people that did this to me. now, it's ok to do RPs that someone else made. but when you want to do an RP you thought up of, and they reject it and go "i prefer doing 'their own idea of a RP' we'll do that RP later" and then NEVER consider doing it when you finished doing their RP. give other people's RP ideas a chance, you might actually enjoy that idea! but you never know since they keep rejecting it.

4: when they reply with bland and/or short responses. example: (me: (pretending to be a character for the RP) ok! so then, we'll go to "whatever place in the RP" and once we find "whatever object was needed for the RP" we can finally defeat "whatever villain of the RP"! opposite party: ok. me: (in my mind) that's....that's it? nothing else? that's all you gotta say?) ok, i do that sometimes, but only when i'm actually tired, BUT i don't actively do this THROUGHOUT the whole RP! i have this one person who responded with these replies through the ENTIRE RP! and it's super hard! they don't add in a scene! it's like i'm the only one who carries the story! and it's unfair. it makes me think whatever i'm doing is wrong and they're giving me this treatment, or making me feel like i FORCED them to do an RP with me when they had the option to say no! no guilt-tripping, no passive aggressiveness, if they didn't want to RP, they just could have said that. DO NOT do this. if your not in the mood to do any RP, that's COMPLETELY FINE! don't make the end user suffer through those crappy lines like that. 5: when they make EVERYTHING sexual. no hate towards any NSFW RPs. i too indulge in NSFW RPs with friends i know. it's harmless as long as only you and the opposing party sees it, and no one else. but when your at a part of an RP where sex shouldn't be part of the scene, and they just add "sexy this" and "sexy that" so many times, your completely turned off by the whole thing and the whole vibe is ruined, it kinda kills off the fun. it's like with jokes, example: me RPing: oh shoot, danger up ahead. stay down! opposing party: that's what she said~ me: ...........not funny bro unless it's a comedic RP, don't put unnecessary crap into the RP like potato chips. WHICH brings me to 6: when they add things to the story to make it into THEIR liking, even thought it was YOUR idea. i have one that did this to me on EVERY SINGLE RP IDEA I HAD! and it sucks and REALLY uncalled for. example: me: hey man! you wanna do an RP? opposing party: sure! what is it? me: "tells them an RP idea i have and wanted to try it out" so what you think? opposing party: we can do that! BUT can we "starts adding shit into the idea i made and changing it up to the point it's not even my idea anymore, it's just them putting their ideas over mine" we can do that, right? me: ......if you wanted to do YOUR idea, just say that, why you changing my story? most of the time on my case, they do it DURING the RP without warning or asking me! it's just like changing my OC into something they would do, but RP wise. we could be doing an RP about fnaf, and all of a sudden, they just add undertale into the mix without warning or telling me first. it has made me wonder if my idea wasn't fun for them. it's annoying and kinda hurtful. don't do this. well, here's my thoughts. again, don't take it personally, and no, it's not a call-out post. this is just me kinda venting a little. but also, i hope you learn a thing or 2 from this! might help you in the long run! let me know in the comments on what RP Pet peeves YOU had.

[tatzlyip]

To be honest it isnt really fleshed out because I just started conceptualizing it (alas i get my most interesting ideas when i am sleep deprived and dont make much sense)

Game wise though it could start out with the MC being lost in the middle of the night and come across a quiet small town. "Comes across" by i mean the MC drives on a shitty dirt road and runs over a giant moose (lumpy) and wrecks their car and has no choice but to go into this town (as there doesnt seem to be anywhere else nearby) that they definitely just killed a villager of. Could try to call police/an ambulance but theres no signal. The town looks creepy in the dark.

MC rushes in and says someone's dying and everyone thats there just looks at you weird. They don't seem concerned or frightened at all and they just brush it off. (And maybe dialogue options make you learn that you killed lumpy and some even seem relieved that you killed him)

Not sure where to go from there but generally since its night you dont meet everyone, maybe a few folks (and maybe a flippy jumpscare.. i kinda in my own headcanon assign him 'town lumberjack' because every town needs a jumberjack riight but basically dark sillhouette holding an axe scares MC but we dont actually meet flip that night and probably not for the next few days to build tension). MC finds somewhere to settle down though and optionally you can talk to whos still awake, they probably definitely say that they dont get visitors, and you can learn more about the town and its villagers/what folks think of each other, ask why theyre not horrified about that death and they give weird responses like "It happens to the best of us" and you could get swindled (raccoon bros would definitely try to immediately scam a disoriented new person)

There could be a "days" mechanic where if you stay there, the town actually looks cheery and cute the first day in direct opposition of how scary it looks in the dark. You meet the rest of the cast this time and to give the player enough time to wander and chat/look around, the only event on the first day is nightfall. Once it starts to get darker, you can meet lumpy. Hes not offended that you killed him and in lumpy fashion wanders to go do something loud while everyone is going to be trying to sleep, MC is horribly confused.

The next events would be character deaths you witness or can even do yourself, on purpose or accident. There would be the option to go out of your way to kill the villagers because they're just so indifferent to death, and they come back the next day after all. Nearly every object and thing in this game would be interactable, but there would always be a random chance that the MC could die when they mess with stuff (this sounds annoying though so i would probably make it that if you die to an object, you cant die to it again so you dont get killed 500 times by a coffee cup, and there would be an option to turn off random MC deaths. incentive for keeping the deaths in would just to see the MC die in interesting ways and maybe an achievement for getting all of the possible MC deaths.)

As more deaths happen in the town, the town gets more bloodied and dull and the villagers palettes get duller as well but they dont ever go completely gray or anything.

I think most players would think that there is a 'bad guy' or something. The rest of my thoughts would be to build tension to make the player think that flippy is the 'bad guy', Then you meet him and hes sweet and kind but definitely matches the figure holding the axe you saw earlier. which would probably make the player think "oh hes DEFINITELY pulling something".

Okay im running out of brainpower but the obvious plot would to be to reverse the curse. Considering the idol is usually connected to the curse in fan theories, Maybe in this game the storyline is that the golden idol was mishandled and shattered and thats why it placed the curse on this town, because the people of this town are so clumsy they deserve to die and shatter a million times and to relive it all over again.

So the MC would find all the shattered parts of the golden idol. However you can only do this in 2 ways, by talking to the villagers, learning more about them, probably doing some questlines and learning that they have fucked up lives, and when you're close enough to a villager/you do enough quests for them you can access their home, some shards of the idol would be in a villagers house while others are given to you as a reward for a quest maybe, or found in suspicious areas (like you can dig around in the towns graveyard and find it, there would be clues for these tho), and maybe even lifty/shifty have a "store" and they have a shard and you need to buy it off of them or trade it for something they like (which would most likely be a valuable item given as a reward from another villagers questline).

And the other way you could do the game is just by murdering the villagers, being able to break into their homes to steal the shards that are there, and threaten them to tell you where the other shards are (this could also be an option for getting the shard from lifty/shifty regardless tbh)

The quests you get would depend if its day or night, and who youre getting them from. Quests at night are more scary, quests during the day (at the start of the game) are less scary and more cartoonish but further down the questline you could put 2 and 2 together and realize the innocuous thing that you were requested for earlier could be used to do fucked up shit.

And the end of the game you work with sniffles to reassemble the idol to try to lift the curse.

htf but its like a creepy town in a horror game

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[jonnnysuh]

Dating Yugyeom would include

Dating GOT7 would include |  SERIES

Just based off my observations/my perception of him. Obviously I have no idea what dating him would be like but thought it would be fun to do. This is more playful than romantic bc what is romance???

Literally never shutting the fuck up

Having meaningless fights about little things and then going back to normal 

Having your own language that makes no sense to everyone else

Laughing til your stomachs hurt and trying to recreate what just happened but laughing again 

Roasting each other as a sign of affection 

Too many nicknames that have weird origin stories that y’all can’t remember 

Both needing to get your ways so you’ll pout until one of you budges 

He is such a simp tho 

Mocking each other after someone says absolutely anything

Dance battles

saying “YOOOOOOOU” like soulja boi

Resting his chin on your head

BOYBOYBOYBOY ((((you kno like when they yell like a siren)))

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING” “IM JUST HAPPY” 

Having to make the hard decisions for him 

Not being able to complete a task bc you’re both so annoyingly distracting 

Something that should take 30 minutes to finish takes 3 hours instead 

Both being confused all the time so you discuss how things should be done and then fight over it

he’ll purposely hide things to make it hard for you 

Holding things over your head bc he wants to watch you jump 

“You’re a bully” “you’re a bully too” “ya but it’s only okay if I do it” 

Saying the same shit at the same time and hitting each other in excitement

He’s funnier than you but you won’t admit it 

SENDING VOICE NOTES INSTEAD OF TEXTING AND YALL HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS SO SOMETIMES IF YOU DONT REPLY IN A FEW MINS YOU FORGET WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY SO YOU START A NEW CONVERSATION  

He has a meme folder and has a meme for every occasion 

Bro he’ll MAKE memes using pictures of you 

If he doesn’t reply within a few seconds it’s bc he’s trying to find the perfect meme or making one 

A never ending game of iMessage connect 4 

How he’d annoy you:

Rock Paper Scissors to get out of doing something but even if he loses he’ll refuse for a bit and then do it

Acting shocked even though he knew something you didn’t 

acting like he’s listening but really he’s doing something else

making you call him oppa or he’s not listening

Laying on his shoulder during long car rides

He makes a big deal about your birthday and will plan everything to a t

He sucks at surprises though bc you he tells you everything

it’s always either by accident like he slips it in

OR you’re like “tell me” “no” “fine” “OKAY I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP TO PARIS”

Gossiping with him and he hates all the people you hate and then will also bring up something he heard about them 

he would tour new places with you on facetime and bother everyone in the process

the facetime photos you guys take are so frightening and confusing to look back on bc there’s so much movement and emotion on your faces

buying you dessert/pastries when you’re sad

LITERALLY LAUGHING FESTS BEFORE BED

IT’S ALWAYS STUPID BRO

BUT Y'ALL WILL CRY LAUGHING TOGETHER EVERY SINGLE TIME

Y'ALL JUST SAY THE STUPIDEST SHIT

“YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS” SHOVING THE PHONE IN THEIR FACE AND IT’S THE DUMBEST FUCKING VIDEO IN THE UNIVERSE BUT WHY ARE YOU BOTH DYING

Every single one of the boys know he’s whipped and he’s embarrassed but also you’re his person so who wins now

he’s literally so thoughtful

he knows all your favourite songs and makes a playlist

flowers and flowers and flowers

he’ll drop anything he can to be with you

will remember your childhood stories better than you

can finish your sentences

messages you every time you post a new picture

“hey this thing made me think of you” text

gets you guys matching chain bracelets/rings

finishes the food you can’t

doing tiktok dances but not posting them bc you’re both embarrassing

but he will start the video literally ANYWHERE.

on the plane? in the parking lot? at a restaurant?

His hand is always on you especially when you’re walking through a crowd

having to ask him to slow down bc you have short legs

Tippytoing to kiss him 

innocent flirting that turns dirty really quick

he definitely likes being small spoon

he talks in his sleep

he has the most irrational fears in the world

“THAT TEXTURE IS SOOOO UGLY I CAN’T LOOK AT IT PLEASEEE”

doing something cute and HE’S JUST SO EASILY LIKE “I LOVE YOU”

always wants to slow dance with you to any song just so he can hold you and lead

he’ll whisper in your ear just to get you hot like fuck offffffffff

his skincare routine takes soo long to do he’ll be in the washroom for 30 minutes

“You’re such a kid”

“Are you a baby?” “YA YOUR BABY”

One of you will start singing and the other joins in but the boys are like shut the fuck uppppp

I feel like he’d like to play wrestle bc this man chooses violence every single time

he can do a perfect impression of you 

both of you will up the cheesiness when u notice that it’s making everyone else cringe just to make them cringe more

be prepared to kill the spiders 

also be prepared to watch scary movies with the lights on bc he is spooked!

Always saying “woooow” sarcastically when someone does something unimpressive

he is an attention whore so when you’re ignoring him he will do cartwheels🤸🏻‍♀️ and try to be funny

making him blush is so easy it’s like a superpower he just gets flustered 

Making a bad decision and saying “yolo ✌️😗”

[a-snow-decahedron]

Learn to Dodge

Ok but imagine being Frisk and sucking at dodging bullets

it's 3 am im not apologizing for this.

warning for Frisk cursing a lot, because they deserve it and also because it's really funny to think the only reason they don't have dialogue is because it would change the rating of the game

sans: haven't i done a great job protecting you?

sans: i mean, look at yourself, you haven't died a single time

sans: hey, what's that look supposed to mean? am i wrong?

Frisk: That's such bullshit.

sans: language, bucko.

Frisk: No you shut up! I died so many times i can't count and you didn't do shit a single time.

sans: you did what-

Frisk: yeah you fucking heard me. I get to swear all i want after that.

sans: *realization hitting him like a brick* look, kid, there's a lot to unpack here. but first, when did u die?

Frisk: Oh now you care, don't you? Pretty much everyone's killed me at least once. I died like 10 times to Undyne alone and you were fucking napping!

sans: *lowkey feeling regret at his words* wait... everyone? even my bro?

Frisk: nah, Papyrus' cool. Still scared the crap out of me the first time he captured me. He's a little lost about humans but he's got the spirit.

sans: the dogi?

Frisk: 3 times

sans: Greater dog?

Frisk: twice

sans: alright, i guess that's valid. but i can't think of anyone else that could do some serious damage kid. seriously, did ya die to some teens? to jerry? to a woshua?

Frisk: Say that last name again and i'm throwing a chair.

sans: oh boy, how much didja die...

Frisk: Sans, look at me in the eyes. I'm opening them wide for you. Look at me, at my armor.

sans: what about it.

Frisk: you know temmie village?

sans: yeah

Frisk: Tem sells this armor for so much money you could pay your tab at Grillby's

sans: did u pick up a fight to get the money. come on kiddo, of course you got hurt doing that.

Frisk: I'm not done yet. So outside the village there's this dark as fuck maze and it's filled with Woshues and Moldbyggs and all. But every time I died, Sans. Every time you let my soul break into little tiny pieces. Temmie sold the armor for cheaper.

sans: how the he...ck would temmie know how many times you died?

sans, to himself: i could visit the village for research, bet they know something i don't

Frisk: Hey bonehead, wanna know how much it cost?

sans: sure, go ahead

Frisk: it started at like 4500 G. I already died a few times beforehand so it was probably more expensive than that. But that fucking maze is worse than my old neighborhood in the surface, man. I died so much the price got to 1400G I think.

sans: holy crap.

Frisk: it was still too much yknow, every time I died I lost my progress so I had to keep saving every penny I got. Anyways, see what I'm wearing? How much do you think it cost?

sans: uh... 500G

Frisk: close enough, 750, it didn't go lower than that. Before you ask: no, I did not die on purpose to find out.

sans: ...

sans: how many HP do humans have?

Frisk: I learnt what HP was like yesterday, I don't think I can tell you. I have 20.

sans: ok yeah that's low. i figured you'd have like 200 at least

Frisk: I know that if I kill people it somehow increases but that's awful so next time I came back to life after dying I was back to before I murdered someone. I chose to do as much as possible to never kill again on purpose or by accident.

sans: wow, kid. you really are, uh, determined.

sans: hold on, so you can travel back in time

Frisk: *shrugs* I guess? Still hurts a fucking lot when it happens after I die. but I think I can try at will.

sans: buddy, let's do something. you can come back to a few minutes on the past right?

Frisk: Yeah

sans: ok, so hear me out. i made a codeword some time ago, so if someone tells it to me i know they're a time traveler. get closer (whisper, whisper)

Frisk: Sans what the fuck.

sans: i hope you come back and tell it to me.

--one loaded SAVE later--

Frisk: hey you told me to tell you this and if it's a fucking joke i'm going feral.

sans: language, bucko.

Frisk: (whisper, whisper)

sans: who told you this? what a liar. *Frisk's eye twitches* but yeah that's a codeword. come closer, to really gain my trust you need another code (whimsper, whimsper).

Frisk: Oh for fuck's sake.

--Another loaded SAVE file later--

sans: hey, kiddo what's with that look

Frisk: This better be the last fucking codeword or I'm going insane

sans: language, bucko.

Frisk: *says the codeword*

sans: oh, so that's what you meant. It kinda explains a lot.

Frisk: Sans listen, I'm so fucking done of doing this. Let's just go eat, ok? Time traveling doesn't help wtih my hunger, and I reaally need to take my time to just explain what just happened because I know you got questions.

sans: *mentally preparing* here we go

-- some eplanations later --

sans: wow, kid. i'm impressed. for one thing i believe you. you knew what i was about to do before i did it.

sans: and, uh, guess i can't really make the past go away for you even if i don't remember that happening but... i'll do better, ok?

Frisk: Can I really trust you?

sans: you said your stats were low, mine are even worse so it's not like i can defend u without dusting myself in the process... but we can practice dodging, until you get better. and that armor's gonna help a lot too.

Frisk: For real?

sans: yeah, i made a promise after all. i gotta do a better job at keeping it.

sans: hey, buddy... you have not told this to anyone right? you haven't told the door lady.

Frisk: No fucking way. She also killed me once, telling her would destroy her. And I think she was trying not to hurt me too but somehow I managed to walk into her flames.

sans: ... why do you trust her?

Frisk: I don't know... it's complicated. She has good intentions. Better than some people on the Surface, anyways.

sans: you are a special kid, you know that? alright buddy, we can keep talking outside. let's take a breath and then do some training. even folks with low HP like us can find a way to survive. howzabout that?

Frisk: I guess... that's alright. Yeah, that can work.

* * *

[yandere-mha]

You don't have to write it if you don't want to, but after reading the Hawks and Mirko sharing an SO, I wanted to see what it would be like for yandere! Tamaki and Mirio to share one!

Bro literally anything you could request I will happily do. Just as I do for the lovely @im-here-only-for-yandere-dabi who also made beautiful fanart, you’ve got both got a fan outta me 🙏 Also I’d LOVE doing this because there’s not many poly yandere pairings that (while ever entertaining) would end up being a “productive” pairing, but these two are Different and it’s Refreshing.

ALSO, I do wanna bring up for anyone requesting a multi-pair that I consider “poly pairing” and “shared s/o” to be two different things and the way you word the request may end up changing the results so keep that in mind while requesting (poly means they’re all thirsting each other and shared mean they’re both thirsting you).

TW: KIDNAPPING, ABUSE, UNHEALTHY DYNAMICS, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE THREAT MENTION.

READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Yandere Tamaki and yandere Mirio x shared!reader:

One of the only yandere parings I can see being able to be in the same room with you as each other. They’re already friends with an established, seemingly unbreakable trust in each other while being almost cosmic opposites. 

What’s always been special about these two since the beginning is that, though they’re very different, they use those differences to improve upon their friendship. They admire and acknowledge each other’s strengths while Mirio they encourage each other to improve upon their weaknesses in a positive way. This would also apply for their “business partnership” with you and will probably end up being both good and... bad.

Something that they both have in common is their fierce protectiveness of you and, like two angry dogs, they would feed off of each other’s aggression and bring out a very scary side to both of them that would’ve been hidden from you otherwise. They’ll take their plans of brutal torture into the other room because neither of them want to scare you, but you’ll hear Tamaki’s enraged shrieking reverberate around the house. Though Mirio will almost always successfully get him to Calm His Shit and remind him of the possibility of you hearing him, you don’t need to be a super sleuth to hear that. 

The way that Mirio will always be able to calm Tamaki is through encouragement and validation in a way that only he seems to be able to do. Unlike you, he is more willing to accept these kinds of compliments in a way that almost makes you feel jealous. However... the way Mirio goes about doing this is definitely not conventional. His encouragement is less like “It’s okay dude you don’t have to literally kill her enemies to be worthy of her presence” and more like “We’ll protect y/n... together! I want to make sure they don’t feel that pain anymore too, but I’ll need your help!” 😬

This is why Tamaki becomes so much more visibly enraged around him whenever you get hurt. Before, he would still be unable to control his emotions, but he would feel guilt about “showing the monster” around you. Now that Mirio, someone he admires, is here to be angry along side him and validate his anger, he doesn’t feel nearly as guilty.

A good thing about this though is that one of the biggest drawbacks of being Tamaki’s s/o is his self-hating rants, mental breakdowns from guilt, and suicidal tendencies. However, with Mirio present, stopping this where it started is a lot easier. He just has a way of dealing with him that no one else does.

I don’t want to say whether this is a good or bad thing depending on your needs, but another drawback to Tamaki that would be “remedied” would be the fact that he would almost always keep a safe distance from you and never touch you due to feeling guilty. Mirio, however, is very touchy-feely and you definitely wouldn’t end up being as touch starved and lonely rather than if you were with Tamaki alone. Tamaki wouldn’t feel jealous by this, considering the fact that he thinks of Mirio as almost equal to you in godliness. If he’s the sun then you’re the moon, the night sky, the planet Venus, and all the stars in space. However... I could see this bringing up an issue.

One thing that Tamaki will never tolerate, even from Mirio, is anyone hurting you in any way. Mirio would never hurt you on purpose, but there are times when he gets... too affectionate and forgets his strength. While Tamaki sees you as an angel, Mirio sees you as a victim he needs to protect. Because of this, he’ll feel the need to embrace you as tightly as possible in order to “make you feel safe”. If Mirio breaks a bone by accident, and he will, Tamaki would go ape shit. I could even see him trying to kill him in a blinded rage to fall down on his knees and beg for forgiveness from both of you afterwards, offering to kill himself. Mirio would forgive him, encouraging him as always, but he’d be on edge whenever he entered the room after that, seeing him as a danger to you even though he was the one to break your wrist. Tamaki takes on too much guilt while Mirio doesn’t want to see his own. 

Another upside to them sharing you is that, if you were only with Tamaki, you’d be having to deal with a lot of boredom while, if you were only with Mirio, you’d literally never get a break from him. Tamaki is shy, quiet, and too paranoid of you getting hurt to let you do anything fun while Mirio loves quality time and will actively try to get all three of you to do something stimulating. He’d never have you do anything dangerous per say, but he might make a weekly tradition of you three playing Mario Kart with each other. He’d see it as his two greatest loved ones having fun together rather than a prisoner and an anxious friend being pressured into playing games with him. Due to Mirio now having two separate people to bug for entertainment, you would not have to shoulder all of that responsibility.

I’ve said before that if you feel nauseated by excessive compliments, you will need a barf bucket living with Tamaki, but hooo boy you don’t know pain until you’ve lived with both of them. They’re both very obsessive and very verbal about their affections, so you’re going to be getting that times two. They’ll even agree with each other and compliment each other on their compliments... 🤮

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

Watching Mr and Mrs Smith

Huh, they're being interviewed

I love her correcting him on how many years they've been together.😂

Uh-oh, if you're alone you're not safe.

Guess I'm dangerous *finger guns*

SHE HAS A WEAPON!

*explosions* "I'm Jane." "I'm John." 😂

FIREEEEE! Oh good, they're dancing. Annnnnnd They've had sex.

How did they get the sheet to start up like a dress? I could never do that.

Her missing on purpose with the gun game and then him getting them all, now her competitive side has come out

YEAH YOU SHOW HIM HOW IT'S DONE, JANE!

"Beginners luck." XD

I love her 😍

FIVE OR SIX YEARS LATER

THEY'RE GONNA CRASH! THE DRIVEWAY ISN'T WIDE ENOUGH!

They're fine.

*Watching them drive in separate directions* You can go your own wayyyyyyyyy! Go your own wayyyy

Oh, I low-key thought that black haired dude was gonna show up and Jane was gonna kil him, since they showed him in the office scene before.

John probably thinks she's the perfect housewife 🙄

She fought a dude for curtains? Oh I wish I were a fly on the wall at the store to see that.😂

"If you don't like them we can take em back." "Okay, I don't like them." "You'll get used to them." I'm with her dude.

HOW CAN SHE BALANCE LIKE THAT ON CHAIR WHILE IN HEELS?

Her not turning the light off and then saying 5 more minutes, brings back memories of being a little kid sharing a room with my sister who liked to read with the light on until late😂

That therapist is not helpful.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's quite the ensemble to wear if she's dealing with someone who crashed a car. In a hotel room. And I suppose those handcuffs are because she's gonna arrest them?

John, I feel you lack subtlety.

Oh ok, not bad, but damn dude, those bros were just trying to play some games and you gotta be a party killer? Damn.

They really made her a dominatrix to kill her dude, but John got to play a game of poker to get his? Come on!

Oh my god, she's like an adult Nanny McPhee. I wanna purse like that.

Jane is me whenever I'm asked to hold a baby.

Damn, John really meant what he said about where he keeps his stuff.

I want that oven in my future kitchen. Fully equipped with those weapons.

Eddie listing the perks of living with his mom is so funny. 😂

FINALLY! We're getting to see some action of where they work!

JANE RUNS THE SHOW FOR WHERE SHE WORKS? YES!!

"Oh look, more desert." Mood.

Ok damn, she's really doing quite awesome with her stakeout point.😂

John is very much an idot.

OH SHIT SHE SHOT HIM

OH SHIT HE SHOT HER

You definitely should not be allowed to buy those things.

Jane is pissed.

Why did I think Father was actually her dad calling cause he was worried?😂

HE KNOWS!

SHE KNOWS!

He hid the knife only for her to come back with an even bigger one, he's panicking slightly.

She has another!

She is way better at being calmer than he is, he looks like a nervous mouse

She tried something new, I think he thinks she poisoned him XD

Oh no, the wine slipped!

Dude can't possibly catch up to her car

Hopefully he'll pay to have that fence fixed.

Annnnnnnnd he shot the windshield, that can not end well for him

Dude, do not run into the street to say it was an accident, thus putting yourself in the path of your angry wife.

Honestly? Can't even disagree with her decision to hit him with her car, dude has no self-preservation.

And he broke into the car, so she jumped out😂

Eddie, tho stupid, is hilarious.

Men are idiots.

Eddie has such a way of cheering a friend up.☺️

GIRL YOU LOVE HIM, OTHERWISE HE'D ALREADY BE DEAD

The garden party looks like fun

John really took a neighbor as a human shield

THEY TOOK HIS WEAPON STASH😂

He's in the vents!

I want that gun thing, it could be fun

Oooooooo they like each other!

Eddie really is funny

OH GOD THE ELEVATOR

IT BLEW UP

BUT SHE LOVED HIM

He's sulking 😂

I mean I guess I would be too if I was him

Aw, she's crying a single tear

and he's there

They're at the place he proposed 😍

They're disarming each other while they dance, I want that

He tried to blow her up?!

Oh it's ok, she tried the same.

I ship them so hard.

She hit his car so she could get into the drive first 😂 Whata mood

And Jane's taken the house as her base😂

That poor house

The music 😂

"Who's your daddy now?" 😂

I LOVE THAT SHE SLAPPED HIM AFTER THE SEX SCENE

The neighbors at the door 😂

Oh shit, people are after them now

That is not good

Yeah John, why does she get the girl gun?

Much better

Yeah, steal the car from the Colemans!

I would react the same way as Jane if I found out the person I was married to was married before and didn't tell me

"What's her name and social security number?" "No, you're not gonna kill her." 😂

She hired a dude to pretend to be her dad omg

Also it's so funny that she never cooked anything 😂

Eddie getting rude about Jane and then her popping up😂

They're matching outfits tho *chef's kiss*

Oh John is feeling funny cause his wife's body count is way higher than his!

"Who are you people?!" I love that they're bickering and Benjamin is in the background 😂

OH MY GOD IT WAS A TRAP AL ALONG?!

John: "This is a really good store."

Jane: *glares*

They're adorable

She threw a knife and it hit him in the thigh 😂

The elevator music is so cheerful 😂

Oh shit, Jane fell from the celling!

They've both been shot!

I swear if this movie ends with them both dying I'm gonna be pissed.

Oh thank goodness, they're wearing bulletproof vests

Me: *singing* "When I am with you there's no place I'd rather be no no no no!"

Oh my god, they're in therapy again 😂

They redid the house, the poor neighbors 😂 bet they left the Smiths alone tho!

What a fantastic movie, was pretty worried it would be meh, but it was good!

And in conclusion, if I wasn't already thirsting for Angelina Jolie, I am now.

[robininthelabyrinth]

prompt: after their father died, the Nie bros were raised by Wen Ruohan, and are forced to survive in the backstabbing tangle of Nightless City politics.

Congratulations! You have also won the “I didn’t mean to write this much” fic prompt lottery, to the tune (again) of about 30k. I hope you enjoy!

Note: any fic warnings will be only on Ao3

-

Fire and Light (ao3) - part 1

“It’ll be all right,” Nie Mingjue murmured to Nie Huaisang, who was curled in his arms, shaking and terrified. The carriage rumbled and lurched around them, traveling down the long path to the Nightless City, where they would now be staying. “It’ll be all right. We’ll manage, somehow.”

He didn’t believe a word he said, of course. How could everything be all right?

Their father was dead. Murdered – it was rather unquestionable at this point. Wen Ruohan had broken his saber from a distance, driving him mad, and Nie Mingjue had known it was Wen Ruohan, but no one had believed him. No one had wanted to help, to intervene, to take action. Even at home, they’d just started resigning themselves to having to take care of Lao Nie as he died by inches when the murderer himself had shown up at the Unclean Realm to ‘help’ them in their moment of need.

Even half-mad, their father had tried to fight back.

Wen Ruohan had put him down like a rabid dog, wringing his neck and tossing him aside.

He’d then announced that Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, now orphans, would be brought back to the Nightless City and taken into the Wen sect to be his wards, to be appropriately reeducated and brought up well. Brought up properly.

And as for the rest of the Nie sect –

At least they survived, Nie Mingjue reminded himself. Even if they have to work for the Wen sect, even if the sun banner flies in the Unclean Realm…at least they’re not dead.

At least Huaisang is with me.

He didn’t know what to expect when they arrived. He didn’t think it would be anything good.

-

Their rooms in the Nightless City were large, but cold.

They were wards of the great Sect Leader Wen, they were told when they arrived. That meant that they would be treated with respect, as if they were truly young masters of the Wen sect. They would get the best tutors, the best clothing, the best food and drink…they would be masters of the world, if only they bowed their heads and were obedient.

(If they were not obedient, they would be punished. The exact nature of that punishment remained – unspecified.)

“Are they going to hurt us?” Nie Huaisang whispered late at night, curled up in Nie Mingjue’s bed. He’d been hiding in his own, shaking and terrified, until Nie Mingjue had crept out to check on him, daring the unspecified punishment if it meant confirming his brother was all right. Obviously Nie Mingjue couldn’t leave him like that, so he’d brought him back. “Are they going to do to us what they did to a-Die?”

“No,” Nie Mingjue said, with moderate confidence. “They’re not. They’ve put in too much effort, made this all too public, to kill us now. Though I’m not ruling out the possibility that they might freeze us to death by accident. How is it so cold here? It’s south of Qinghe! The climate should be more temperate, not less! And have they never heard of tapestries?”

“Da-ge…”

“Don’t think I don’t feel those ice-blocks you call feet at my waist!”

Nie Huaisang giggled, as Nie Mingjue had intended. “You’re being silly, da-ge.”

Nie Mingjue pretended to huff angrily, tossing his head like a bull, and it made Nie Huaisang giggle again, the way it always had. “Fine, fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll keep you warm, I guess. It’s my duty as your da-ge, isn’t it?”

“What’s my duty?” Nie Huaisang wanted to know.

“To be my spoiled brat of a didi, of course,” Nie Mingjue said, the way he always did, but this time Nie Huaisang shook his head in denial.

“Now that we’re here,” he clarified, looking at Nie Mingjue with wide, trusting eyes. “What do you need me to do?”

Nie Mingjue knew, as Nie Huaisang did not, why their lives had been spared: it all lay in that word, reeducated. They would be indoctrinated into Wen sect beliefs, Wen sect customs, and by the time they were sent back to rule Qinghe as Wen Ruohan’s puppets, they would be more Wen than Nie. Even for him, it would be difficult to resist; for someone as young as Nie Huaisang, with his childish memories already slipping through his fingers like sand, it would be virtually impossible.

Asking him to resist would serve no purpose but to torment him when he inevitably failed.

“Be happy, didi,” he finally said, and pressed his lips to Nie Huaisang’s forehead. “Be happy as you can, as you always have. Don’t let them take away your smile.”

-

The next day, they were introduced to Wen Xu and Wen Chao, the actual young masters of Qishan, sons of Wen Ruohan. Wen Xu was a handful of years older than Nie Mingjue, eighteen to his nearly-fifteen, while Wen Chao was less than two years older than Nie Huaisang. Neither of them seemed happy to see them, scowls fixed firmly on their faces, sneers of disdain twisting their lips.

“Do you train the saber?” Wen Xu asked Nie Mingjue, who raised an eyebrow of ‘what do you think I train’ in return. “A boorish weapon, but then I suppose your ancestors were butchers.”

“I look forward to taking classes with you,” Nie Mingjue said, thinking to himself that one didn’t have to be especially clever to know the history the Nie sect proudly proclaimed at every turn. “They’re clearly very enriching.”

Wen Xu blinked at him and then turned his face away, his lips pressed together – whether in annoyance or, possibly, a sense of humor very deeply buried, it was difficult to tell.

“Father has expectations of you,” he finally said instead of responding to Nie Mingjue’s jibe, and there was no humor in his face now. “You’ll meet them, of course.”

Unspoken was that they couldn’t afford not to. Either of them.

Nie Mingjue lowered his head. His entire sect – all his cousins, aunts, uncles, whether surnamed Nie or not – were back in Qinghe, closely watched by Wen sect commanders. There was a sword to their throat, and therefore also to his.

He, too, could not afford to disappoint Wen Ruohan.

Wen Xu’s shoulders relaxed a little when he saw Nie Mingjue’s submission – he had clearly been charged with their care, and had just as clearly worried about his ability to fulfill his mission should they choose to rebel – and he nodded, more to himself than to them. “There’s classrooms, and training grounds,” he said. “I’ll show you where they are, as well as the dining room – there are set times for meals, and attendance is mandatory – and of course the necessaries. You don’t need more than that, at least to start.”

“Are there rules we should keep in mind?” Nie Mingjue asked, thinking about his brief visit to Gusu.

“Many,” Wen Xu said. His expression was stormy. “Some of them are even spoken aloud.”

-

“Da-ge! Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang ran up to him, lip quivering and eyes glistening wet with tears. It was a very sad, even heart-rending sight; it used to send Nie Mingjue into a frenzy to see him like that. But by now he’d learned better and he didn’t even blink, even though Wen Xu faltered, his sword twisting off in the middle of their spar as if he expected Nie Mingjue to lose focus at a key moment and injure himself. He wouldn’t, of course, and he instead used the moment to tap Wen Xu’s sword pointedly with Baxia, claiming the point. “Da-ge, I fell down again!”

“Excuse me,” Nie Mingjue said to Wen Xu, and turned to kneel before Nie Huaisang. “Did you, now?”

“Uh-huh!”

“And did you hurt yourself?”

“I did!” Nie Huaisang stuck his hand out. There was, maybe, a bruise on his wrist. If one squinted. It was probably just mud, actually. “It hurts awful, da-ge. Kiss it better?”

“That doesn’t really work,” Wen Chao scoffed, only a few steps behind Nie Huaisang.

“Shut up, it does,” Nie Huaisang shot back, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be pitiful, and turned back to Nie Mingjue. “Well, da-ge?”

Nie Mingjue nodded solemnly. “It’s my job,” he agreed, gathering Nie Huaisang up into his arms and pressing his lips to the ‘wound’, using the motion to infuse a little bit of spiritual energy as well. Not enough to actually make a difference, and certainly not enough to justify Nie Huaisang promptly declaring himself all better, but he liked to do it anyway – a little connection between them.

Wen Chao looked at them both in suspicion, his brow wrinkling. “That doesn’t really work,” he said again, but his voice was weaker this time, more questioning.

“It does too work,” Nie Huaisang announced. “Maybe if you’re really nice, I’ll let da-ge fix you up too next time you fall down.”

“I’m not going to fall down! I’m not a baby like you!”

“Everyone falls down sometimes. There’s nothing shameful about it,” Nie Mingjue said, and pointed to a bruise on his own face. “I myself fell down just a little while ago. Your brother helped. Several times.”

Wen Chao gaped at him, even as Nie Huaisang giggled.

“And Huaisang? You’re already very good at being a big baby and we all know it. You can stop practicing your skills at any time.”

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes at him, still laughing.

Nie Mingjue ruffled his hair and sent them both away, Nie Huaisang in the lead and Wen Chao following after, the latter shooting strange looks back at Nie Mingjue over his shoulder.

“You’re too soft on him,” Wen Xu said from behind him, even as Nie Mingjue rose to his feet. “He won’t thank you for it, later.”

Nie Mingjue shrugged. “Later is later,” he said philosophically. “Now is now. Can you show me that move you did earlier, kicking out my feet? It was very well done.”

Wen Xu stared at him. “The one – where I knocked you to the ground?”

“That’s the one. Do it again, just slower; it’ll be hard for me to pick it up, otherwise.”

“You’re just asking – no, never mind. Don’t you care that I beat you with it?”

“…no?” Nie Mingjue hazarded. Was this some sort of weird Qishan Wen hang-up? “How am I supposed to learn if I don’t lose?”

“In training, like everyone else.”

“That’d only teach me how to win when everything goes right,” Nie Mingjue pointed out. “I want to learn how to win even when I’m losing. Here, you show me that and I’ll show you the trick I did this morning, with the disarming.”

Wen Xu tensed up. “I don’t need your tricks.”

I don’t need your pity, he meant, and Nie Mingjue didn’t understand him at all. Wen Xu was at home, his little brother safe, his sect secure – why would Nie Mingjue pity him?

“Consider it a favor to me, then,” Nie Mingjue said, thinking back to how his uncle used to handle the especially prickly tempers in their sect, which was never short on them. “My grasp on the move isn’t that good – teaching it to someone else is the best way for me to improve my own understanding.”

Wen Xu hesitated for a while, thinking it over as if he thought there was some sort trap in the offer – what trap it might be, Nie Mingjue wasn’t sure – but then he nodded.

“All right then,” he said arrogantly. “I won’t even count it as a favor. Consider it a gift, since you’re so new here.”

-

They were there for about a month by the time they met some other people their age.

It was enough time to start to get used to the monotony of it all. They woke up in the morning and were free until breakfast – Nie Mingjue often got in some extra saber training, Nie Huaisang usually slept in – at which point they would meet in the cold, miserable dining hall with enough space to fit two dozen people but which only ever had the four of them, being served by voiceless servants.

They would remain there for enough time to burn a stick of incense at minimum, half a shichen at the maximum, and then they would proceed to their classes. There would be alternating classes and training, all based on some mystifying schedule that seemed to change every day but which clearly had some sort of order based on the boredom with which the Wen heirs regarded it, but always lunch and dinner in the same cold dining room, all alone, same as ever.

It was therefore a surprise when they came down for breakfast and found two other children there: a pale-faced girl about Wen Chao’s age or a little older and a skinny, shy-looking boy closer to Nie Huaisang’s. They were wearing Wen colors, but that didn’t mean anything – so were the rest of them. Neither Nie Mingjue nor Nie Huaisang had been allowed to bring any of their Nie robes to the Nightless City other than the ones they’d been wearing, and those had been splattered with blood. Nie Mingjue had carefully preserved them and still intended on finding a time to go try to see if he could salvage them in the wash, just as soon as he figured out where the laundry was.

His own new robes, in garish Wen colors that made him feel sick every time he looked down, itched and pulled on his body when he moved – they were badly sized. It seemed the seamstresses of the Nightless City hadn’t been expecting someone of his size and shape, although the array of robes he’d found in the closet made him realize, with gut-churning nausea, that he had been expected, that Wen Ruohan had prepared in advance to receive his new wards long before he had committed the act of murder to obtain them.

He hadn’t complained about the discomfort of the badly sized clothing – he hadn’t dared – but Wen Xu had been irritable about it for days now. Based on his rants, it seemed like he suspected that someone had made the robes ill-fitting on purpose to restrict Nie Mingjue’s full range of motion, a scheme designed to make Nie Mingjue humiliate Wen Xu in front of his father when the right size clothing finally did come in.

Nie Mingjue didn’t understand the calculations Wen Xu made, the paranoia involved – who would do something like that? why? what would even be the point? – and he didn’t especially want to, either.

He looked at the other two children. The girl stared down at her food, not making eye contact, but the boy stole glances at him – perhaps he and Nie Huaisang were as much as of a surprise to them as they were to him.

“Good morning,” he said to them. “My brother and I are surnamed Nie. What about you?”

Wen Xu snorted loudly, rolling his eyes. “They’re Wen,” he said scathingly. “Our cousins, from one of collateral branches of the family; the ones in the mountains. Father has taken the two of them on as his wards on account of their unfortunate circumstances and promising talent.”

“Unfortunate circumstances?” Nie Huaisang wondered aloud, and Nie Mingjue sighed to himself at the sheer rudeness of the direct question. “What’s so unfortunate?”

“Our p-parents are dead,” the boy told him quietly, stuttering a little.

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang said. “Ours too.”

There was a moment of silence, the entire room disbelieving, and then Nie Mingjue started laughing.

The sound of his laughter verged on the hysterical, hurting his throat, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Not because it was funny, of course, it wasn’t funny, would never be funny, it was still raw and burning and painful. It probably would be for the rest of his undoubtedly short life. But news travelled fast in the cultivation world, and while he couldn’t say for sure, Nie Mingjue suspected he’d be hard pressed to find someone who hadn’t heard about Wen Ruohan murdering the old Nie sect leader and taking his children by now.

Judging by the horrified expressions on the Wen cousins’ faces, they definitely had, and the sheer awkwardness that paralyzed the entire room just made the entire thing pathetically – well, laughable.

“Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang hissed, cheeks turning red, but he was smiling a little, too, mostly out of the infectiousness of Nie Mingjue’s laughter. “Don’t embarrass me!”

Nie Mingjue leaned over and ruffled his hair. “Extra etiquette lessons for a week.”

“No!”

“Someone has to teach you to think before you speak,” Nie Mingjue said, still chuckling involuntarily with the aftereffects of his bout of inappropriate humor. “Not every thought that passes through your brain has to reach your tongue, you know. Consider holding some back. Cultivate an aura of mystery.”

Nie Huaisang grumbled and went back to picking at his food.

“Aren’t you going to punish him?” the girl asked suddenly. She was staring straight at Nie Mingjue. “You didn’t embarrass him. He embarrassed you.”

“I’m his older brother,” Nie Mingjue said with a shrug. “If he’s not embarrassed by me and I’m not mortified by him, something’s clearly wrong –”

“Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang wailed.

Nie Mingjue put some extra meat into his bowl to apologize for teasing, and Nie Huaisang subsided, making faces at him as he did.

“You’re weird,” Wen Chao announced.

Nie Mingjue didn’t think so, but all the Wens averted their eyes away from him as if they were silently agreeing, so maybe he was.

-

It turned out that the girl’s name was Wen Qing and the boy, her brother, was called Wen Ning.

“Don’t any of you have courtesy names?” Nie Mingjue asked, a little desperately, and it turned out that the Wen sect had the strange tradition of referring to people by their given names until they were properly acknowledged. Acknowledged as what wasn’t specified, but they all seemed to have a sense of definitiveness about it, as if expecting it to happen at some distant date.

Qinghe had the exact opposite tradition – given names were for immediate family only, sometimes a secret kept just to the parents, and everyone else went straight to using the courtesy name almost immediately after the first month ceremony.

“But you haven’t done anything by then,” Wen Ning said, worrying his lip with his teeth. Nie Huaisang had been devastated to discover that despite being small and thin as a stick, Wen Ning was exactly three weeks older than him – he’d been looking forward to calling someone didi for once, and now he was off sulking about finding himself the youngest yet again. Nie Mingjue was sure he’d get over it quickly. “Nothing impressive, nothing worthy of acclaim…what can a baby possibly do to deserve getting a name so early?”

“They were born, they are alive,” Nie Mingjue said. “What more do they need to do? Isn’t that worthy of recognition all on its own?”

He got strange looks again.

It turned out that Wen Qing was the talented one of the pair – she was training to be a doctor, and all her teachers spoke very highly of her.

“That’s wonderful,” Nie Mingjue said, and meant it. “Medical skills are a rare pearl that ought to be treasured; with the world always in need, there can never be too many doctors. I look forward to being treated by you in the future.”

Wen Qing blinked owlishly at him. It appeared that she was unaccustomed to praise.

“If you ever need someone to practice on, let me know,” he tried – he knew pretty words were far from his forte, and actions were better anyway – but that didn’t seem to help.

“I’m not good at anything,” Wen Ning volunteered, wringing his hands. “Jiejie refused to leave me at home by myself, but I’m not - good. At things.”

“Everyone is good at something,” Nie Mingjue assured him, the words coming much easier this time – he knew this particular routine well, given Nie Huaisang’s routinely poor physical performance in a sect that placed such a premium on it. “Some have strengths that are lauded by society, others merely ones that give color to it, but both are valuable and worthy of praise. You will find your talent, given time.”

Wen Ning appeared rather dazed by the concept. “But – what if I look for my talent and it turns out I really am no good at anything?”

“Then you’ll be good at being cared for,” Nie Mingjue said firmly. “Someone has to keep us older siblings in business with something to do.”

“Oh,” Wen Ning said, hugging himself until his face turned red, and then he ran away.

Nie Mingjue watched him go, feeling a little helpless. He hadn’t meant at all to be cruel, or condescending, or whatever it was that had so affected Wen Ning. Why was it, he wondered, that whenever he addressed those surnamed Wen, everything he did seemed to end up having the wrong reaction?

[juststrugglingwithstress]

Siblings in Writing

(edit: this was not supposed to be as mean/angry as it sounded! this is really just one type of sibling relationship, albeit a type of relationship i often see underrepresented in writing. my experiences are not everybody’s experiences, and i’m sorry for the parts of this post that make it sound that way. use whatever kind of sibling relationship you’d like--just make sure your siblings have fought (small or big disagreements) at least once!)

ANGRY INTRO

yall. PLEASE. NOT ALL SIBLINGS CALL EACH OTHER “sissy”, “sis”, OR “bro”.

I DON’T CARE HOW CLOSE THEY ARE. ANY AND EVER SIBLING PAIR HAS FOUGHT. and TWINS?? a lot of twins aren’t as close as you think they are. i know like 3 pairs of twins and usually they are TEARING EACH OTHER’S THROATS OUT.

me and my brother???? we have our nice moments where hes like “hey adele look at this thing i drew, do you like it? i don’t think i did a good job but--”

“i think it’s really cool”

but most of the time???????? he calls me bitch and i insult him TO THE MAX.

PLEASE EVEN IF THE SIBLING PAIR YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT IS CLOSE, THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY THEY ARE AS CLOSE AS YOU THINK THEY ARE.

younger siblings do things they would never, ever do with anybody else solely for the purpose of annoying their older sibling. older siblings, at times, will go into homicidal rage.

ALTERNATE GREETINGS:

“what’s up?” “go away” “no”

*silence*

“hey” “hi” *separate ways*

“hey full name other doesn’t usually use” “I literally hate you so much”

older: “NAMEEEEEEE! mom/dad/other wants you!” younger: “fuck off” older: “i’m going to break your nose” younger: “with mom/dad/other standing right there? yeah sure”

younger: “why are you here” older: “cause it’s my room, fuck nugget, get out”

older: “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY ROOM” younger: “oof someone had a bad day” older: “IM GOING TO KILL YOU”

“i hate your face” “cool, i have food” “give me some”

“NAMMMMMMEEEEEEE! dinner’s ready!” “yeah yeah okay give me a second i’ll be right down”

“why did you have to come here?” “this is,,,, our house,,,,, that i too live in” “yeah but i was hoping you’d get run over by a bus” “why thank you, i was too”

MORE ABOUT TWINS

i dont care if you want your siblings to be close or whatever, do you know how INFURIATING it is to have a twin????? especially an IDENTICAL ONE???

if you have identical twins, they are going to hate each other’s guts for 3/4s (or more) of the time. having somebody who looks just like you, living in the same house as you, probably going to the same school as you, who has the same birthday as you, and most likely sleeps in/super close to the room you sleep in? actual hell. especially if they have a lot of the same interests/friends as you do. this experience is horror in it’s rawest form. nobody wants this. they want the “close, happy twins who do EVERYTHING together and have since they were born!!!”

IMAGINE A SIBLING RELATIONSHIP, BUT THEY LOOK J U S T  L I K E  Y O U AND ARE A L W A Y S  W I T H  Y O U.

remember what i said about hell?

(possibility: if the one identical twin is better at something or more liked than the other, it fuckin sucks. imagine this experience in the school halls: “eva???? what are you wearing???? oh my god, did your mom mix up your clothes with jasmine’s again? i feel sooo bad for you!!”

“actually this is... jasmine. eva has spanish right now.”

“oh. whatever.”

sucks, right?)

forcing that kind of relationship on your fictional twins is both unrealistic and tbh kind of scary.

now, twins who don’t look the same. everything i just said, but minus the appearance. yeah. i can see the shitshow now!

THE YOUNGER SIBLING DILEMMA

coming from an older sibling, younger siblings are satan.

they will:

annoy the older sibling at all costs

never do anything the older sibling says

“why does SHE/HE/THEY get to be in charge!!!!” whines the sibling who is literally four years younger and still can’t spell phone without replacing the “ph” with “f”

snitchin little bitches

older sibling: *flicks younger lightly on arm* younger sibling, tears of lies and deceit running down their face while they grin, knowing they will be believed: MOOOOOOOM NAME PUNCHED MEEEEEEEEEE

eat all the sweets

then they will blame it on the older sibling

literally, they will blame anything on the older sibling

watches an r-rated move -> name said it was alright!!!! (i most certainly DID NOT)

“MOOOOOOOOOOM NAME ISNT LETTING ME HANG OUT WITH HER FRIEEEEEENDDDDDDSSS” “YOU HAVE COME WITH US 16 TIMES THIS WEEK”

admittedly, they can be cool 1/324532 of the time. make sure to include these cool moments once in a blue moon bc sadly they do happen

POSSIBLY will feel like older gets more attention sometimes

DEFFINETLY feels like the older gets more freedom

OLDER SIBLINGS

i, as an older sibling, am biased. ill do my best tho

insults the younger sibling (SOMETIMES unfairly actually a lot unfairly)

ill add this to younger in a moment but on the flipside the younger sibling probably feels like the OLDER sibling gets more attention instead

takes out problems on sibling/family (to be fair when younger grows up they do this too)

“pshhhhhhhh, TRUST me, you do NOT want a sibling”

*to friend* “i literally hate him/her/them/other so much. i would kill him/her/them/other if i had the chance” “no you wouldn’t” “are you sure”

“nah man, you can’t talk shit about him/her/them/other, only I can talk shit about my sibling” *immediate fist fight/verbal decimation*

if a younger child is talking shit, they will be BLACKLISTED AND DESTROYED. probably more than is fair.

probably has hurt the younger sibling pretty badly at some point, most likely by accident but if it doesnt fit you storyline,,,, i have done despicable things

underestimates their strength when dealing with younger sibling

“WHY WONT YOU JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME” “YOURE NOT MOM” “YEAH BUT MOM PUT ME IN CHARGE DIPSHIT”

“i am not his/her/their/other parent, why do i have to do this”

younger sibling, to older: “son of a bitch” “we literally have the same mother”

“I SWEAR TO GOD CAN YOU EVEN DRESS YOURSELF???? CAN YOU???? CAN YOU????????????”

“haha ur scared of the daaaaaarrrrrrrk” older says, as their brain is in a panic about whether or not there’s a serial killer in the dark room waiting to kill them

so yeah. i have so many metas i need to write about so many things

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 14: So If You Put a Fraction Into a Duel Disk, the Card Explodes

We left on quite the cliffhanger last episode, so I’ll fill you in:

I did not get the haircut.

Like I seriously considered getting a Zigfried for a cool 3 or 4 minutes there, but then I decided to wait a couple of days and I basically forgot.

But, back to the arc finale, Seto has decided to walk, not run, to the Kaiba lab in order to fix the virus rapidly eating his entire company.

I just want to point out that Zigfried went through a LOT of work to get Seto Kiaba to go “uggggh” turn around, and pretend to calmly walk away. I’m used to Seto losing his nut kind of a lot and blowing things up but this season he’s like “be chill be chill be chill” so that the entire world doesn’t think he’s a spaz on TV.

And little aside about Seto’s design choices here, I fell down a hole of interior design videos, and can I just say: apparently these wood frame things on the wall are back in style? Good on you, 2002(3?) Seto Kaiba. Don’t think that current designers are painting them purple but...we’re halfway there to Yugioh fashion.

Meanwhile, Pharaoh decides to remind everyone that these stakes are hella low. The worst that happens is that Zigfried deletes the plane that Yugi needs to fly home...which would be an impressive virus.

Like it’s hard to tell if Yami even has a solid concept of “capitalism” and whether or not he cares about or understands the makeup of Seto’s company (which up till now has operated like a small country and not a business...which is a little more Pharaoh’s understanding. Either way...hard to tell if Yami would shed two tears for the loss of Kaiba corp.)

And, despite what I say in the caps, I feel like Leon and Zigfried are the first villains we’ve ever had that Yugi and Pharaoh didn’t unintentionally disclose that they are 2 people to. Zigfried and Leon are just...completely oblivious to how effed up Yugi’s bean is. They think that’s just a normal kid and lol no dudes...y’all got distracted by Seto Kabia but you have a literal Egyptian God just hovering around in the background and dating 3 people by accident.

Like when the show shelves the main storyline, it is very funny how it’s all “And we’re gonna put the Pharaoh crisis on hold--just put a pin in it. No one will notice this child is two nervous wrecks stitched together” and then Yugi and Yami just kinda hold it in and watch all patiently until it’s their turn to get off the bench.

(read more under the cut)

In the giant computer tower, Seto Kaiba shouts out a string of orders and numbers, admired the many sonar detector looking windows open on every monitor, and then sat down at his desk to like...check the firewall, I guess?

The virus is past the firewall. It’s um...it’s inside the firewall, pretty sure that was the point, but youknow, it’s a kid’s show so they’re just throwing out computer stuff that has no meaning to the writers of this show.

Mokuba thinks fondly of how Seto Kaiba has never screwed him over (which I mean...maybe not on purpose, ((except for that one time he did screw him over on purpose to get Gozaburo Kaiba to accidentally give Seto Kaiba the company, but you could say that was a grander scheme that he knew Mokuba would see through, which...)) but Seto certainly has screwed Mokuba over accidentally. At least once.)

And meanwhile, Yami fixes everything through card shenanigans.

So here’s the shenanigan this episode: I don’t go over cards here but this one requires a limited amount of explanation.

So every round the golden castle deletes half of Yugi’s cards. So he was like...I’ll just draw down to one card. They can’t delete half a card...so that means the card must delete one of the two cards on the field which means it must delete itself.

...which is like the closest Yugioh will probably ever get to abusing a glitch to do a speedrunning tactic like GDQ.

Anyway, like I stated in the title: there are no fractions allowed in Yugioh. If you do that to your priceless one-of-a-kind card you got from winning one of Pegasus’ murder tournies, it will irreparably bust the card.

I’m sure at least one of you will correct me with the proper way to insert a fraction into your duel disk. Cuz like...as I say multiple times so we never forget, I barely pay attention to this card game and I’m just flying by the seat of my pants.

I want to say Seto and Mokuba were in the hacker chairs for like...3 minutes maybe before they realized “oh...Yugi fixed it...” and walked the half a mile back to the duel arena.

and also, as I’m looking at Seto’s glasses here, I just realized...all of Kaiba’s team wears sunglasses all the time. Inside, outside, night, or day...

They haven’t outright said this...but what if those aren’t sunglasses?

Is Roland and that other Roland wearing fancy cyber glasses? They are, right? Because they wear them indoors?

Damn, they can’t take a piss without being on call with Kaiba Corp, can they?

Now the problem is...Yugi played all of his cards (he has two in front of him face down, but none in his deck) and after milling himself, this means he’s now basically a sitting duck for Leon to take the title of “King of Games.”

Leon insists that he defend whatever scraps are left of his card honor and not duel a person who is carrying no cards and Yugi was like “COME AT ME BRO THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW I’M ALIVE.”

He didn’t even have to do a horror on Leon, he just...played cards good? I skipped it, I’ll be honest, but overall Leon’s card honor was...saved? Maybe? I mean he also go destroyed when his competitor had not a single card in his duel disk so...

...Leon will have to work on his card honor off screen because he’s pretty well humiliated at this point.

But stumbling onto the playing field like he’s half dazed/daydrunk, Zigfried is like “You forgot I already won, bastards!”

Which is when we find out that Zigfried’s “delete all” virus failed to press “enter” and deleted basically nothing. Just like when my Mom attempts to send something in Gmail but doesn’t press “Send” and tells me that Google is down and broken.

Sorry my bro has informed me that he ALSO has had to help my Mother locate the “Send” button and I just...I know she absolutely did that but I’m in denial that this Riddle of the Sphinx has happened to her multiple times.

Honestly, the pep talk we get from Leon at the end to cheer up his bro was a whole lot of “we will pick ourselves up and we’ll do better next time. Together.” and sure you can translate that as “we’ll be honest next time” or you can translate that as “next time we will be not nearly as obvious about inserting a virus into their computer until it is done doing the job, bro.”

Just like Dartz, we didn’t really get a whole lot of retribution or closure when it comes to Zigfried. But, unlike Dartz, Zigfried didn’t do too much murder, so I guess this is fine. He tried to cheat in a card game...

...and I guess tried to delete Kaiba Corp but youknow...

...people let him have that. The police saw the ticket of “this man tried to delete Kaiba Corp” and they just...didn’t arrest him. The judge saw that ticket and didn’t put out a warrant. They just let Zigfried have this, almost like “better luck next time, ya?”

And then Roland clocked out for the day and went home, thus ending this arc.

Look at all these characters, most of which we never saw duel even one card.

We also got one shot of Mai for some reason although she was not in this arc.

AAAHHHH. Every time I’m like “the show is done screwing geography” we get another freakin geography spook!

But we went back to California in order to get a scene of these guys in an airport to get a flight to Japan...

which means Rex and Weevil just...were they shipped home by the Kaibas? Because way to ditch getting arrested by the American Government, hot damn. They are...literally terrorists who destroyed a Caltrain in a plot to kill everyone in the world so like...really surprised Rex and Weevil are in public...but maybe all the FBI were dead at the time so they just didn’t know?

Meanwhile, Duke has to go back to Death Valley and call a tow truck for his car, RIP.

I sure hope he got PTO during this stunt and isn’t going home to a pink slip.

I’m not sure of Dukes life or anything going on with Duke. I’m sure the thing about Serenity is him joking because we have all forgotten about that girl by this point...but also...is Duke...still living in the Tenderloin? The crime rate is very, very high and the ground isn’t solid, so it will liquefy if there’s an Earthquake, but it is one of the few places in the Bay Area that doesn’t light on fire every year. He has that going for him.

I just really hope Duke moves out of the Tenderloin one of these days, he needs a better life.

Meanwhile, Rebecca does one last crime.

This is like a post-epidemic reaction to a hug, but in 2002(3?).

I don’t think I’ll miss Rebecca too much. Wanted to like her more, but she was under-utilized, like most of the characters on Yugioh. Not even just talking girl characters here--most characters on Yugioh are super under-utilized, just Tristan Wallflowers doing nothing, but also being selectively OP as hell about very specific things they never, ever need to do.

Speaking of the devil:

Yugi...just saved his entire company...

But Mokuba is just has to make sure to make it seem like they owed Mokuba and not the other way around. Just in case.

So off they go on this massive plane. It’s probably more to do with the length of the trip as to why the plane is so big but also...

This plane is overcompensating.

But before we analyze that, lets close the book on Seto Kaiba’s very short therapy arc. Overall, it was a nice distraction, but I can see why people call it a filler arc, as it really doesn’t affect...anything going on in the major plotlines, which makes me think it could have been a movie or a game or something. But overall, it’s not bad, it’s just not what you’d expect if you were a Western audience.

Like I’m preaching to the choir, but typically, Western stories are entirely plot focused, and so our arcs always give or take away from that plot. But in a Eastern story arc, it may instead be character focused, where the climax is a character evolving or coming to some sort of cathartic realization, which this arc was, in a big way. We still had some plot, because this is a Shonen, but overall it was about characters, and specifically whether or not Leon and his bro would reconcile or change--which they did.

We did get to see a little more growth on Seto in that he...didn’t go bonkers and hallucinate during a card game. It’s been a while since we’ve had him not do that. Seto was very chill this arc, which makes sense, it was a very chill slice of life arc for everyone involved.

So, next we move on to the next one, which bro has informed me...is

still not Bakura.

According to Bro, the next arc didn’t even air in the Japanese version of the show? Like he’s got a lot of spicy Yugioh headcanons so he could be wrong (He did tell me that he thought that Zigfried was Seto Kaiba’s ex boyfriend when he saw this as a kid which...that sure is a way to interpret this arc, and it probably wasn’t just my little brother who went down that thought tube there...)

(Bro Note: To be fair, I didn’t watch much of this arc as a kid.)

But he says the next arc was originally a movie. But they released it in the States as episodes to be part of S5, just to put more episodes in there. Which, if he’s correct, makes it seem like we’re getting like the Mulan 2 experience kind of shoved in between this arc and the next

But um..

according to bro it has virtually no card games.

.......

I’m so used to only capping 10 minutes an episode, what?

Anyway, until then, here’s the link to read the rest of these from the start in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I’m kinda itching to do a Season Zero, it’s been a hot minute--so those take a little longer to do, especially since I need to go to a different site I haven’t...checked out yet...I’ll be back...eventually? I just know that at some point in Season Zero they fight it out with yo-yo’s and I want to see it.

[darkmulti]

Park Chanyeol

Yandere Profile

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Paring: Yandere!Chanyeol x Female!Reader

Requested but ask got deleted

A/N: I’m back<3 thank you for being patient with me!

~ NSFW ~

Consider these as your warnings. If they trigger you, then don’t read this. If you attack me about it, remember that yandere means someone who exhibits a violent nature to get someone they love or to show their love. It’s all fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy~

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Obsession

Stalker

Monopoly

Domestic Violence

Restraints

Removal

Violence 5/10

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How you met Chanyeol and how he got you:

He’s a family friend

Your parents were really good friends with his parents

You guys are sorta forced to hang out

Luckily, over the past few years you both started getting comfortable around each other

He was like a brother to you

Unfortunately, Chanyeol caught feelings for you

As you got older you noticed some red flags

Whenever he came over he would ask about your dating life

When you told him that you had crush

He freaked

“Give me your phone! He’s not good for you!”

“But you don’t even know him!”

“I do know him. He uses people for sex. Sorry, princess, but I’m just looking out for you.”

He’s gotten away with this excuse many times

You believe that he was just looking out for you

He was very overprotective

When you went out at night, he would follow you

One time you were at a bar, dancing with some strangers

You were having so much fun until Chanyeol grabbed your wrist and took you home

“Heyyyy! I was having fun, you know. Why did you do that?”

“It’s not fun when someone takes advantage of your drunk state.”

“I’m not that drunk.”

���That’s what you always say. What if something happened to you? How would you defend yourself? Some random guys are touching you and sexualizing you. Do you enjoy that?”

“... no.”

“Exactly.”

Chanyeol gained more control over you after this night

You really though he was just a caring older bro

Everything was going good until your parents passed away in a car accident

You were obviously devastated by the sudden lost

Both of your parents gone from your life in a blink of an eye

Chanyeol didn’t want you to stay home alone because he was afraid you might do something stupid

So he begged you to move in with him

He helped you with the funeral and he helped you move

Chanyeol lent you his shoulder to cry on

One day, you came home from school, so overwhelmed

You sat down on the couch and started to cry

Chanyeol was quick to come and comfort you

He placed you on his lap while you cried on his shoulder

He rubbed you back before cupping your cheeks and doing the unexpected

He kissed you

You slightly pushed him off and got up

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see you in that way.”

“Well, that’s too bad. You don’t have a choice.”

“What?”

He got up and cornered you

“Don’t make this any harder, kitten.”

He put a cloth against your nose and you passed out

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His Behaviour:

Restraints

Chanyeol literally cuffs you to himself

So you can never leave him

One time you planned to escape

But when he caught you

Oh god-

He chained you to a chair

And brought out a chainsaw

“You disobey me one more time, I’ll cut your arms and legs off.”

He wasn’t joking

You started crying in the chair

You begged him not to harm you

He didn’t do it

Chanyeol was only trying to scare you

He was trying to make it seem like he’s not joking and you believed it

I mean, man brought a fucking chainsaw, what more do you want?

Chanyeol was obsessed with you

There was never a day where he wasn’t clinging onto you

He wanted to know everything about your crushes

Went through all your social media

Wanted to know every little detail about you

When did you first get your period?

What was your favourite show when you were four?

Are you still a virgin?

Have you ever gotten drunk?

It was annoying and creepy

You got so bored with him, you tired just about everything to get away

You can’t go out in the backyard either

He wants you to stay in the house

If you leave to go to the backyard, he’ll put you in a cage (literally)

Chanyeol was the one who caused your parents death

He screwed around with the breaks and that’s how your parents lost their lives

He was on a mission to kill everyone who may know you

Like your friends

Your crushes

He deleted all your social media

And wanted to move out of the city

He bought a house by the lake

It was secluded so he let you go outside, under supervision of course

The lake definitely brought you two closer

Going swimming and canoeing with him

You have to admit it is a lot of fun

As long as Chanyeol keeps all his horrific secrets safe

There is really nothing to worry about

Eventually he’ll get married to you

And you’ll have to have his kids

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His Punishment:

Chanyeol is easy to anger

Especially when you say no to him

He will slap you across the face

Spit on you

Choke you

Degrade you

Until you’re in tears

When he’s angry, man becomes a whole new person

He will no longer care if it’s hurting

He will do whatever he wants and he excepts you to take it well

Size kink obviously

Usually fucks you against the wall

Wants you to look at him while his cock is deep in your cunt

Sucks on your jaw

Man growls

Breath play

When you give Chanyeol blowjobs, he plugs your nose and makes you choke around him

It feels good to him

Please pay attention to this man’s tip

He wants you to suck his tip for hours

He does not care if your jaw hurts

He’ll tie you up and make you suck in for hours

He slap you if you start lacking

Licks the tears off your face

Anal fingering

Eventually anal

He’ll be fucking your pussy but his long as fingers are in your ass as well

Biting kink

Some reason, Chanyeol likes seeing bite marks on your skin

Idk, it’s his inner vampire

Spanking with his big ass hand

Yes!

And boy is so strong

Spanking hurts with him

Hair pulling when he’s taking you from behind

He’ll grab your jaw from behind and spit into your mouth

Deepthroat + deep thrust

Flogging

Please, him hitting your tits with a stick

Nipple clips plus vibrators

And blindfold

Probably will put an ice cube in your pussy then fuck you afterwards

Aftercare with Chanyeol is not the best

He’ll carry you back to the room cause punishments usually take place in the basement

But the next morning, you have to take care of yourself and him

He’ll help you

But Chanyeol will not baby you

He’s baby

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SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES! IT’S NOT EDITED!

Yandere Profile Requests List:

- Taemin

- Ten

- Hendery

- Han Jisung

- Namjoon

- Kai

- Yoongi

- Baekhyun

[broadstbroskis]

four times you wore matthew tkachuk’s name on accident + one time on purpose | matthew tkachuk

the first

It’s a Friday night and you’re at Matty Tkachuk’s apartment solely at the request of your best friend, Sasha, who’s a little more than friends with Noah Hanifin (and refusing to believe that she’s actually more than a little more than friends but that’s neither here nor there). The party’s raging and you’re killing some bro’s on the pong table with some pretty Swedish boy who you’re almost certain plays on the Flames with Noah. And then, suddenly, there’s a ruckus behind you, like more than the general party-ruckus, and you’re covered in beer.

And when you say soaked, you mean like, absolutely drenched.

The dudes who are the entire reason you’re now the winner of the impromptu wet t-shirt contest can’t even make it through the apology they start before their eyes go to your chest and they actually stop speaking, so you very quickly ditch the pretty Swede in favor of looking for Sasha.

Unsurprisingly, she’s making out with Noah in the corner and neither of them look amused when you interrupt. “Well sorry.” You snap, glaring at yet another guy who stops to stare at you.

“Get moving, buddy!” Noah waves him away.

“Now do you see why I want to leave?” You look at them flatly. 

Sasha giggles. “Just go topless for the rest of the night!”

You give her a look “You’ve seen me topless before. That’s certainly not going to help the staring.”

Sasha is still giggling as a group of guys in the corner start to point and Noah gives his best glare (which is frankly, like 0% terrifying, but the gesture is much appreciated). “Come on,” He pulls the two of you away.

“Oh yeah,” You snark at him, as he leads you down the hall. “This is helping my case. Heading down the hall with the two of you in my wet t-shirt. This is just the thing I need!”

“Well?” Noah grins not even five minutes later, from where he’s lounging on Matty’s bed, watching as you attempt to tuck the Tkachuk Flames shirt into your short, bodycon skirt. The endeavor is useless, which from her laughter, Sasha figured out ages ago, and has been waiting for you to do the same.

“There’s nothing smaller?” You ask desperately. The shirt is genuinely huge. It fits you like a dress.

“I mean, Chucky’s just a tad bigger than you so…” Noah trails off, fighting his own laughter.

“That is a lewk!” Sasha is still giggling from the ground as she adds, “I’m sure we could look around and find something smaller that’s been left behind.”

That thought brings an immediate look of disgust to your face. At least Matty’s shirt is clean. “Fuck no, I don’t want anything that belongs to any girl that he might have brought back here!”

They’re both laughing, as you awkwardly tuck one edge of the t-shirt into your skirt and let the rest of it fall. “Alright.” You say. “Noah, let me pound your beer and I might not hate myself enough to be able to go back out there.”

Noah’s beer is not quite enough, but it’s enough to get you back out to the party, where you can all three get fresh drinks to go along with the shots you insist on (needed if you’ll be wearing this shirt for the rest of the evening).

And then, they quickly ditch you for their corner again, so you make your way back to the pong game, only to find out the you and the pretty Swede have been chased off the table.

The Swede is in the kitchen, holding court with a few other teammates, and you start to make your way over to them, hoping to convince him to take back your rightful spot at the table (or if not, just to join their circle), when the host of the party steps up to you.

“Babe!” Matt grins, and you stop to wait for what’s to come, because you’ve seen a lot of him recently since Noah and Sasha have been spending more and more time together, so you’re sure he’s not finished. “Never would have thought I’d be happy to see you change out of that wet t-shirt, but I guess that’s when happens when you look so hot in my clothes!”

“Babe!” You mimic, grinning, ready to dish it back. “Never would have thought I’d actually consider changing into the clothes that last week’s rando left behind, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re a dick!”

Matty just laughs, accepting the chirp as you move past him to the kitchen, and that’s that. The shirt comes home with you that night, gets shoved into the back of your closet, and forgotten about entirely.

the second

“Thank god you’re here!” The woman grabbing your arm on the way out of the bathroom at Saddledome looks extremely familiar, but you couldn’t put a name to her face if your life depended on it. 

“Sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong person.” You try to keep your voice as polite as possible as you attempt to shake her off.

She shakes her head. “Sasha said she tracked you here on your phone.”

That traitor. And also, still, who the fuck is this lady? “Umm.”

“Britt and Morgan are both stuck at home with sick kids, and Jess was supposed to be able to fly in in time for the game tonight but her flight got delayed so she’s stuck in Ottawa or something, so we are super shorthanded and Sasha said you were here with some friends tonight and wouldn’t mind filling in.”

Say what now? “Sorry, filling in for what?”

“Toy collection!” She’s actively leading you away from your other friends and from your seat towards an employee only area. “Come on; let’s get you a jersey and get you set up!”

And well, you’re not so heartless that you’re not going to help them collect toys for kids for the holidays! Even when she shoves a Tkachuk jersey at you, practically yanks it over your head, and then fluffs your hair before leading you out to the first floor concourse and over to a toy collection station with Johnny Gaudreau’s girlfriend, you paste a smile on your face, vowing to get back at Sasha for this later.

It isn’t long before the smile is real, laughing along with Ali as the two of you collect toys and donations. You’re actually having such a good time you don’t even notice that lady taking your picture until the next morning, when you’re scrolling through Instagram and it pops up on your feed via the Flames official account, on a post thanking their fans for making the toy drive such a success.

And right below it, a comment from Matt: 👀👀

the third

It’s too fucking light out, there’s a very loud banging, and your head will not stop pounding.

And somehow, none of these things are going away? Like they’re actually all getting worse and that’s when you realize your hangover isn’t going to go away on its own. So with one last groan into the pillow, you open your eyes, hoping to take care of all of these things.

And that’s when you realize this isn’t your bed. Or your room. And you aren’t wearing any clothes?

What the fuck happened last night?

Once that moment of immediate panic fades, you realize that even though this isn’t your room, it is a familiar one. It’s not the first time you’ve spent the night in Matty’s guest room after a party, but it is the first time you’ve woken up in it without clothes.

Further inspection of the room leads to open blinds and no clothing, which is not entirely helpful in solving the problems of your nakedness or the knocking at the door...which you can only assume means Matt has left for practice or something because god, if he was somehow managing to sleep through this, you were going to kill him.

The knocking at the door will not fucking stop and so you angrily stand, searching for some clothing item in the room to cover yourself up with to go take care of it. You’re just contemplating wrapping yourself in the blanket before you stumble upon an old Knights t-shirt. It’s still huge on you, but it’s clean and probably better than going out to answer the door wrapped in just a blanket.

No, definitely better than going out in just a blanket.

The shirt is soft and worn as you pull it over your head, like a favorite old t-shirt should be, and you really contemplate stealing it as you bitterly make your way to the door, throwing it open with a scowl on your face. “What?”

“Uh.” There’s a delivery man outside the door, holding a package. “Sign for delivery?”

Is he fucking serious? This is the ruckus? If looks could kill, he’d be a puddle on the floor, but you sign for the package and turn back into the apartment.

And apparently, Matt is home, and furthermore, alive, since when you do turn, he’s standing in the living room. For once, he’s not even running his fucking mouth, standing there with his jaw slightly dropped as he stares at you.

“Here!” You throw the package to him as you start to walk closer.

Matt doesn’t even react and the box falls to the ground in front of him. “Where’d you find that shirt?”

Your fingers drop to the hem of the tee, starting to recognize the look in his eyes for what it is. “Your guest room.”

He swallows. Visibly. Audibly. “Why’d you put that on?”

You grin, beginning to lift the hem up. “Why don’t you come find out?”

the fourth

Stuck in an endless loop of last times, it’s becoming less and less shocking to find yourself in Matt’s bed at various hours of the day. Sneaking out of his place in the morning. Popping over in the afternoon between classes. Sending your uber at the end of the night to his place instead of your own.

So it’s not really alarming anymore to find yourself waking up on a Sunday morning in Matt’s bed, to roll over and see only the ends of his curly hair poking out from under the covers or maybe a bare chest from where he’s pushed off all the blankets, consistently a later riser than you unless he absolutely has to be up.

Someone might think it’s alarming from the way you jump out of bed this particular Sunday, but that actually has more to with the time on the clock than the man’s bed you're in.

There’s no way you’ll make it back to your apartment to change and to brunch with your parents in time. Panic mode induced.

But the ruckus of trying to gather your shit and get dressed at the same time does wake Matt up (you suppose, in hindsight, that attempting to yank jeans up with one hand and buckle your bra with the other was not your best idea, but only because you hit your hip into the side of the dresser) and you fondly watch him rub his eyes sleepily before remembering that you need to go and resume working on fixing your jeans and bra.

“Where are you going?” Matt still sounds tired, but he’s sitting up, watching you rush around the room.

“Brunch with my parents have you seen my shirt?” The whole thing’s said as one sentence, one word maybe. Who’s got time to breathe right now?

“I just woke up.” He frowns. “Come back to bed.”

“I can’t!” It was white, you were pretty sure. Or maybe black? 

“This is not how I planned to send my Sunday.” Matt frowns.

Success, there’s something black in the corner. You go to grab it as you address that comment. “You should know by now that you win some, you lose some.”

���Hey, if I’m not allowed to use sports cliches in bed, then you’re not allowed to use them out of it!”

“Matthew!” You cry, turning toward him, shirt in hand.

“That seems like a very reasonable compromise to me!”

You are ten thoughts ahead of sports cliches by now and hold last night’s sweater up for him to see. Or, what used to be your sweater. There’s a rip down the center; it was a v-neck to begin with and was now only being held together by threads. “This isn’t!”

He hesitates, but doesn’t look sorry at all. “It was a thin sweater?”

You level him with a look. “Let me tell that to my dad today at brunch.”

“You know what, I’ll just give you something.” Matt stands, and walks toward his closet. A second later, there’s a shirt flying at you and once again, you find yourself pulling a huge Flames t-shirt over your head, this time with Matt’s number on the top left and both sleeves, and trying to make it work as an outfit. 

Matt’s got a huge grin on his face as you continue to just tug at the shirt, but finally you just give him a look. “Nothing else?”

“A dress shirt?” He offers, still grinning, unable to take his eyes off of you.

You actually contemplate it for a second-if you would be able to make it work as a dress, certain that he’s got a belt you could also snag to cinch the waist- before deciding against it. “I really have to go.”

Matt loops his arms around your waist, pressing soft kisses to the side of your neck. “Do you?”

It is...so easy to tilt your head to the side and just let Matt work, his hand travelling up his shirt. You can feel him smirk against your neck and you can’t even be mad about how smug he is about winning because it feels so good.

And then your phone buzzes and the moment is broken. 

The clock says it’s already past time for you to meet your parents and when you look at the text, it’s from your mom, letting you know they have a table. You let her know you’re on your way, but running late, and then slip the phone in your pocket.

“Fine.” Matt says, kissing you softly; a real, proper one, on the lips that sort of takes your breath away. “I’ll let you go.”

“Thanks.” You laugh, a little surprised about the kiss, which just...wasn’t something you guys did outside of bed.

And with one last brush down your arms, a tiny little pause over his number on your shoulders, he steps away, letting you go. But it’s just enough that you think you know what’s going on.

plus one

The long road trip out east gives you enough time to put your plan in action.

Unfortunately, you’re such a terrible liar, that you’re sure Matt knows something is up when he returns.

He sounds definitely hurt when you tell him that you can’t come over the night he comes home, but you’re sure that he’ll get over it pretty quickly when he sees what you’ve got planned for tomorrow’s game.

Your plan formed quickly, coming together in your mind easily. Meeting up with Sasha for lunch one day, you’d told her exactly what you wanted to do, requesting her help in getting you what you need.

She’d laughed hysterically, paused for a moment, and then laughed again. “I feel like I should be saying I told you so here. Somehow, someway, this feels like the moment for that.”

“People who lived in glass houses for over a year shouldn’t throw stones like that.”

That sobers her up, but only enough to stop laughing uncontrollably. She’s still giggling when she speaks. “Fair enough.”

“So can you get it for me?”

“What, he won’t give it to you?” She asks.

“I’m trying to do a thing here.” You tell her.

“Ah.” She says. “Alright, let me see what I can do.”

And so the day after their two week road trip, you found yourself standing in the hallway outside the locker room with Sasha and Ali, waiting for Matt to come out, the Tkachuk jersey feeling heavier than any other time you’ve worn his name before, and knowing that it has everything to do with the gesture you’re hoping it to be.

It seems like the entire organization comes out of the locker room before Matt does, so you endure knowing grins from both Johnny and Noah, as well as multiple other teammates you’re starting to recognize more and more, before Matt finally steps out.

He’s texting as he walks toward you, looking fine as hell in his suit and a little soft from his shower. You can feel the smile grow on your face as your phone buzzes in your back pocket, but you don’t have to pull it out to know who the text is from.

“Hey.”

Matt stops walking and looks up, shock clear in his face. His eyes flutter to his phone quickly and then back to you, like he’s wondering how you got there so quickly, but it only takes a minute before his eyes find the “A” on the corner of your jersey and the “19” on the sleeves. “Hi.”

You’re a little surprised he doesn’t have more to say than that, considering he never stops talking, but he seems content to let his eyes wander over his jersey on you. “Sorry I couldn’t come over last night.” You say, filling the quiet between you and tugging on the hem of the jersey to illustrate your point. “But I really did have some errands to run.”

Matt starts to grin. “You could have come over and saved yourself a few bucks.”

“You think I paid for this garbage?” You scoff and he’s crossing the hall to you in three steps to pull you into his arms.

“I hope you didn’t.” He says, holding you close to him and it takes everything in you not to just press up onto your tippy toes and kiss him, but you shake your head to clear it so you can finish your bit, making a mental note to thank Sasha for coming in clutch and managing to get the jersey for you without Matt knowing. “Would sure be a waste for my girlfriend to spend money on something I’d just give her anyway.”

“Awfully presumptuous.” 

“So tell me I’m wrong.” He grins cockily.

“You know what a shitty liar I am.” You start to return the smile but Matt’s kissing the grin off your face the second you finish speaking.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine

The Reader is a virgin and Erik gives her oral turning her out/Erik dry humping The Reader playfully

I am doing two imagines in one because I wanted to write these two together I think it fits lol. Also, it took me forever to write this that is why I haven’t updated in like three days. Very long, and very detailed. Enjoy 💖

Warnings: SMUT, Bickering, slight FLUFF, Daddy-dom, mention of blood, Virgin SMUT, dry humping. 

Like & Reblog

“Yo, am I gonna have to pop this clown! Nigga, don’t you EVER put your fucking hands on my best friend like that. When she tells you no that means no, nigga.”

She looked at him with cautious eyes. Her best friend, Erik Stevens, was there to save the day. Thank God for him. The guy who had a death wish was pushing up on her and grabbing her ass after Y/N told him multiple times that she wasn’t interested. All she had to do was hit up Erik and he came to the rescue. He didn’t fuck around when it involved Y/N. That was his Thickums.

Don’t nobody fuck wit’ my Thickums. I will kill for her.

That’s just how it was.  Erik and Y/N  have been best friends since she met him through her brother. It didn’t take long to connect and vibe the way they both did. Tony, her big bro, died in a motorcycle accident and even though she hates to say it, that accident brought Erik and her closer. Now he was Y/N’s protector since Tony was dead. Erik is older than Tony by three years and Y/N by four.

“Aye, my fault, bruh, this yo girl?” The drunk asshole with frisky hands asked.

“Does that matter? Don’t worry about all that,” Erik pointed a deadly finger at the guy almost shoving his head back, “Don’t touch her again, BRUH, before I put you six feet under-“

“Erik!” Her prominent eyes went wide staring up at him before she mouthed let it go. Over the years Y/N gained some upper body strength with the number of times she had to hold Erik back from killing someone. The thing is, he would literally KILL someone. He didn’t hide anything from her. The times he’d been away was times when he was off doing a mercenary job adding scars to his body. He would come and go with little communication and each time felt like a hole was being drilled into her heart.

Now here he was. Back home after a couple of months. He seemed angrier than the other times he came back from a job. His eyes were stone cold and pitch black. Nostrils flared and blowing smoke like a dragon. Hennessy running through his veins. Fists clenched and veins popping out his arms. Y/N grabs Erik’s jaw to make him look down at her. When she did, his eyes seemed to soften and then a teasing smile spread across his lips.

“I’m cool, Thickums,” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “I won’t kill nobody tonight, I promise.”

They both had an audience at this little bar and lounge that Y/N’s friend, Paige, dragged her to. All the black people staring over at the bar to see if a fight would break out so they could record. The disgusting guy who tried to touch Y/N walked away muttering something and Y/N was sure that Erik overheard it. Pulling Y/N in closer, Erik placed a kiss to her forehead before turning her back around to face the bar. The smell of his Tom Ford cologne burned her nose. He dragged his face along her wild curly hair with his arm still around her. Y/N didn’t complain because she knew her best friend missed her and he was also very drunk. However, that wasn’t until Erik leaned against her, causing her breasts to painfully smash against the edge of the bar. He was doing that shit on purpose now.

“Erik, stop! you’re putting all your body weight on me, “ Y/N complains as she rolls her eyes before pushing Erik away.

“I miss you, Thickums. It’s always good to see my best friend when I come back home.”

“If you miss me so much you wouldn’t leave like you do, stupid,” She could feel Erik wrapping his large arms around her waist, prompting his biceps to mold into her hips. He was very touchy-feely when he was drunk and Y/N knew she was going to have to babysit his ass. No driving at all.

“Why would you drive here drunk, Erik?” She spoke with a stern voice.

“Because...I can,” He looked down at her with an elevated brow, “Why, you’re gonna punish me, Thickums?”

“If only I could tame your big ass.”

“You wish you could tame me, baby girl. So what’s really been up with you?”

She chuckled before taking a seat at the bar, “Besides the same old everyday boring shit, I’ve been getting set up with blind dates by Paige and her friends.”

“Blind dates? Really?” Erik shook his head before smiling, “And how did that go?”

“Fucking horrible. That’s all they want is sex. I don’t have time for that mess.”

Erik bit down on his bottom lip to suppress a laugh.

“What?” She asked with a bothered tone.

“I keep forgetting you still have your V card.”

She looked around her at the crowded bar to see if anyone overheard him. Blushing, Y/N takes a sip of her mixed drink. She didn’t want to get on the topic of virginity.

“Let me guess,” Erik nudged her with his shoulder, “You don’t wanna talk about it?”

“Nope. And definitely not here.”

“We ain’t gotta talk about it here we can talk on the way back to your place.”

Y/N leaned back from Erik with a playful smile, “You’re spending the night with me, bestie?”

“Only because I don’t feel like making that drive to my new spot. You gotta come through soon it’s dope.”

“Just like that Audi R8 V10 you got parked outside?”

Erik glanced over at her with low eyes and a smirk, “You love the whip, huh?”

“Love it?” Y/N’s eyes rolled with a leering expression on her face, “Love it doesn’t even describe how much I envy you right now.”

“You’re not driving my shit, woman,” Erik shook his head before waving his hand in her face, “I said no! you can’t drive for shit.”

“HERE WE GO,” Her voice grew loud and defensive, “I can drive jack ass-“

“Not when you swerve up on the sidewalk you can’t-“

“Bitch, don’t even play with me like that it was one time!”

Erik glared at her, his voice becoming deep and gravely, “Did you just call me a bitch?”

“I-Yes, yes I did.”

“You better watch your fucking mouth, Thickums. You’re lucky you’re my bestie because if not...”

Erik smirked before turning away from her. Y/N blinked at him with interest, impatience written all over her face.

“If not, what?”

“...Put my dick in your mouth to make you shut up.”

“Oh...” her skin felt like a furnace.

“See, that’s why I didn’t want to say it. You need to loosen up, bestie,” Erik nudges her shoulder playfully.

“I can’t believe you just said that to me, E,” Y/N avoided Erik’s eye. She couldn’t understand why she felt so...turned on. Maybe it was because that was the first time a guy ever said something like that to her. She wouldn’t feel so awkward if he said that to another girl but he was referring to her in that manner. Now, the wheels in her head were turning. What if Erik wanted Y/N to be his girl? What if he thought about having sex with her but didn’t mention it for obvious reasons. Y/N was so deep in thought at the bar that she hadn’t noticed Erik calling her name. It took for him to wrap his arms around her waist again and pull her close to him for her to finally snap out of her daze and come back to the present.

“Huh?” She said with a whimsical expression on her face.

“You good? Should we bounce?” Erik asked with concern. His brown eyes focused on her intently.

“Um, yeah, we can,” She grabbed her clutch from the bar, grimacing a little because it was sticky at the bottom, “let me just tell Paige and then we can go-“

“Paige ain’t worried, look,” Erik pointed to a small section near a bar on the other side of the lounge. Paige was surrounded by a few men and her other friends she brought with her. They were freak dancing and flirting with drinks in their hands and low eyes.

“Paige ain’t worried. She too busy freaking on some dude.”

“And drunk out of her damn mind,” Y/N added with a disapproving tone.

“Jealousy isn’t a good look, bestie,” Erik joked.

“Jealous? Why the fuck would I be jealous, Erik?”

“Because deep down in your virgin heart, you want to let loose and grind that thick ass on a nigga. I know you do. You ain’t even gotta front with me. I know you better than you know yourself, Thickums.”

“Clearly you don’t, because-“

“Save all that shit, ma,” Erik threw down some money that the bartender graciously grabbed before someone else did, “Let’s go. We need to have a little discussion.”

“No,” she shook her curly head, “You are drunk, I’m calling an Uber.”

“I’m not getting in the back of somebody’s car when I have my own,” Erik snatched her phone from her hand, “And I’m not drunk, just a little buzzed. I’ll finish off my bottle when we get in the house, ma.”

“Whatever,” Y/N stomped away and through the crowd, leaving Erik behind. He caught up with her and grabbed her hand, both of them rushing out of the claustrophobic lounge. Finally, outside, Y/N was thankful for the 60-degree weather because it felt much better against her skin than the 90 degrees in the lounge.

“Can I have my phone back now, DAD?”

“Not with that fucking attitude,” Erik pulled her arm like she was a bad kid, “Let’s go.”

Y/N stayed rooted to the spot. She pulled her arm back causing Erik to stumble and a black couple to walk past snickering. Erik looked down at her as if she tried to kill him. Eyes round saucers, nostrils flared, breathing heavily like a dungeon dragon, grip on her hand tighter than before, Erik was pissed.

“Y/N,” Erik looked from side to side before speaking in a gruff low tone, “Don’t make me embarrass you out here, best friend or not, I will whip that ass.”

“Okay, Killmon-“

“Say it.” Erik dared her. Y/N snapped her mouth shut before lowering her head to fight a smile. She loved toying with Erik.

“Getting on my damn nerves,” He pulled her again, “now come on before I throw you over my shoulder.”

“Fine,” She stopped with her games for now. They both walked down the street and around a corner to find Erik’s car parked next to a Subway. He unlocked the doors with a click of a button before walking to the passenger side to allow Y/N access. She slipped inside and watched Erik shut the door softly. As he walked around to the other side, Y/N opened the door again and slammed it shut. She snickered and damn near lost her breath at the way he stopped in front of the car and scowled at her. He nodded his head slowly before walking with his chest poked out to the driver's side. Y/N could not control her laughing. Hand clutched for her chest, eyes welling up with tears, breathing nonexistent. She was in literal shambles.

“WHAT THE FUCK, GIRL!” Erik growled, “You really asking for it don’t be slamming my door like that!!!!fuck is wrong with you!!!”

“You should have seen your face, oh my God,” she threw her head back, “You were ready to kill me over your whip.”

“You wanna try me again?” Erik asked with an even tone. But it was a dangerous tone of voice.

“If it makes you look all angry like a pit bull then HELL YEAH,” Y/N closed her eyes, falling into laughter again.

“I really wanna throw you over my lap and pop that big ass butt until you cry.”

Y/N licked her lips, the laughter gone and replaced with a shocked expression.

“...did you? I mean...did you just?”

Erik didn’t say a word. He started his car, turned the volume up on the radio, and focused all of his attention on driving even though his hands were itching to spank her good and hard.

“Erik?” Y/N asked with a soft tone. Still, nothing from him.

“E-Kill-I’m sorry,” She put an innocent smile on her face, “I love you, bestie, don’t be mad at me.”

“You really know how to piss a nigga off.”

Y/N beamed, leaning over to kiss Erik’s cheek, “It was all jokes, kay? I just like messing with you.”

Erik shook his head, “It’s because you know I won’t get you for it. But that’s where you’re wrong, Thickness,” Erik reaches across to the passenger side, grabbing Y/N’s exposed thigh and squeezing it hard. She swatted his hand away before kissing her teeth. Erik laughs before mushing her playfully.

“What do you mean?” She looked at him with wary eyes while massaging her upper thigh. His grip was firm.

“My best friend is too beautiful and sexy and she needs to let loose a little, cut all that shy shit out. You hear me talking to you, Thickums?”

“I hear you but I’m not following,” She gave Erik a puzzled look.

“When we get back to the house,” Erik paused for mystery, “I’m gonna teach you some things.”

“Huh?”

“You’ll see. Put your seatbelt on.”

Y/N fastened her seatbelt. She kept her eyes on Erik to see if he would break down and tell her but no, he acted like she wasn’t even there staring at him with her doe eyes. Y/N pouts, folding her arms across her chest. The silence was eating her alive. The drive felt longer than usual. As soon as they pulled into her Apartment Complex and Erik parked his car next to hers, she hopped out and walked to her building to unlock the door. Erik took his time grabbing his bottle of Hennessy to annoy her further. He even turned up the music in his car to bop to a little while drinking.

“Drip to hard/don’t stand too close/you gon’ fuck around and drown off this wave/doing all these shows/I’ve been on the road/I don’t care where I go/long as I get paid/bad lil vibe/she been on my mind/Soon as I get back/she gettin’ slayed/do this all the time/this ain’t no surprise/every other night/another movie getting made!!”

She watched Erik rap in his driver's seat, tapping her foot rapidly against the concrete with a mug on her face. She was fuming watching him have his little concert.

“Erik!!!” She yelled at him even though he could hardly hear her with that loud music.

“What’s up, Y/N!”

Y/N turned to see her neighbor, Sharnese, walking towards the building in a pair of leggings and a thin ass T-shirt with a bonnet on her head.

“Hey, Nese,” Y/N groaned, her eyes focusing back on Erik dancing in his driver's seat.

“You okay, girl?” Sharnese followed Y/N’s line of vision and a big smile appeared on her face. Sharnese squealed like a schoolgirl, jumping up and down making her titties bounce around.

“IS THAT ERIK?!”

“Yeah, that’s his annoying ass-“

“OH MY GOD ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE IVE SEEN HIM!” She rushed towards his car. Sharnese ran around to Erik’s side, knocking on his window. Erik looked over at her before smirking, rolling his window down. Sharnese wrapped her arms around Erik’s neck before leaning into the car, all in Erik’s face, planting a kiss to his cheek. They were talking a little too close for Y/N’s liking. She was growing jealous.

Why is this bitch on my best friend like that?

Sharnese giggles then she bit her lip.

Girl, you do too much.

“Erik!!!!!!” Y/N yelled making her throat raw. Sharnese and Erik looked over at her as if she interrupted something.

“What? Let’s go!” Y/N finally unlocked the door to the building before pulling it open and stomping up the steps to her place. She was so angry that she dropped her keys a few times while trying to get her apartment door, 2C, opened.

“I haven’t seen Nese in a minute, Y/N, stop acting like that.”

She ignored Erik and walked into her place, kicking off her shoes at the door. Feeling a vibration inside her clutch, Y/N pulled her phone out to see that she’d gotten a message notification from Paige letting her know that she made it home safe with everyone.

“She was all in your face, Erik.”

“I know,” He walked to the kitchen to retrieve a few cups, “She’s cute. Pretty and ghetto.”

“Erik, shut up.”

“I don’t want her, Y/N. Stop being jealous. Every time I come home you have me to yourself. A nigga has needs too. Just because you ain’t getting none doesn’t mean I don’t want none.”

“Was that a jab at me for being a virgin?” She was truly offended.

“Let’s talk about that.”

Y/N saw Erik pouring two cups of Hennessy and apple juice.

“What is there to talk about? I haven’t had dick Erik, boo-hoo, what’s so special?”

Erik almost spilled his drink, “What’s so special? Man,” He laughs, “You wouldn’t be saying that if you let a nigga pop your cherry.”

“I don’t want just any nigga taking my virginity, my pussy is too precious for any nigga.”

“You’re right,” Erik swirled his drink around his mouth before swallowing, “That’s why I have a suggestion.”

“If it involves one of your friends, fuck no-“

“If you shut up and let me talk, Thickums, then you’ll know.”

Y/N sat down on her carpeted floor in her living room, head leaning back against the couch. She motioned for Erik to speak.

“What if...I help you out?”

“Come again?” She asked him to clarify.

“What if I am the one to...” Erik made a motion with his hands to make her catch on to what he was inquiring about. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion at that very moment. Y/N stares unblinking at Erik. Even him snapping his fingers in her face didn’t break her out of it.

“Oh my God,” Erik ran his hands down his face frustratingly, “It’s sex, Y/N, I’m asking you to let me be the nigga to pop your precious cherry.”

Still bewildered, she opened then closed her mouth like a fish in the water.

“Hello?” Erik said with annoyance, “Why are you giving me the silent treatment now?”

“Um...” Y/N laughs nervously,  lifting from the floor to take a seat while gripping the edge of the couch, “Erik...are you for real?”

“No, I’m for play,” Erik chuckles, “Yes, Thickums, I’m asking you to...let me...you know...lay that pipe.”

“Nah,” Y/N motioned for Erik to pass her his cup, “That’s enough devil juice for you tonight, bestie, you are really tripping.”

Erik threw it back in one sip before placing his cup on the coffee table, “I’m dead ass, ma, no games over here. I really wanna hit.”

“Wow. What the hell happened to you when you were gone for two whole months?”

“Nothing, I’m still the same old Erik. Just...okay don’t look at me like that,” Erik rolls his eyes, “You want me to keep it real?”

Y/N tilted her head up at Erik, “Yes, I want you to keep it real and stop messing around. You don’t play and say something like that unless you really want to do that, you get what I’m saying?”

“Yeah,” Erik lets out a breath slowly, “which is why I’m about to be brutally honest.”

“Fuck,” Y/N nibbled on her bottom lip.

“Fuck ain’t even the word, Thickums,” Erik looked over at his Hennessy, “I’m gonna need more to drink.”

“Fill mine up too,” Y/N really needed it. Her stomach felt queasy. She figured drinking Erik’s favorite drink would calm her nerves and prepare her for what this man had to say. Erik walked over with her cup and the bottle, settling next to her on the couch. He poured himself a cup, then handed her the mixture he made with the apple juice. Y/N curled up into the corner of the couch while tucking her toes into the cushion to warm them. She fixed her skirt so Erik wouldn’t have a straight-on view of her panties.

“Aight so listen,” Erik leans on his thighs while twirling his cup in hand, “I’ve thought about having sex with you on plenty of occasions but I didn’t initiate it because you’ve been my best friend since like, forever, and I just didn’t want to make the shit weird-“

“Like right now?” Y/N spoke with a shaky voice.

“Yeah...like right now. This shit is mad awkward forget I brought it up-“

“Nope,” Y/N takes a long sip before scrunching her face with disgust. Too much Hennessy and not enough apple juice.

“Don’t get scared over there cuz I know you can’t talk about sex for five seconds.”

“You’re so petty,” Y/N scowled, “Keep talking.”

“I told you I’m going to be brutally honest. And... I peep shit.”

What did he peep? Y/N sat up straighter. She felt like she was sitting in a confessional with a lie detector attached to her arm.

“For one thing, you get mad jealous when I talk to other women. Like...possessive. Two, you stare a nigga down hard when I got my shirt off and when I’m walking around in my grey sweat pants-“

“Erik-“

“Don’t interrupt me again,” He said with a husky voice. Y/N closed her mouth and listened.

“You blush anytime I make a reference to sex or compliment you, especially if I talk about your ass. You love it when I call you my Thickums. Makes you feel special doesn’t it?”

“I hate you.” She could feel her cheeks heating up. Y/N covered her face out of embarrassment.

“No, you love me,” Erik reaches across to pull her hands away, “And you have feelings for me.”

“Leave it alone, ERIK.” She was starting to grow frustrated.

“You want me to be that special nigga that pops your cherry-“

“Didn’t you pop Paige’s cherry? If that’s the case then you’re not so special, ERIK.”

Erik mugged at her, “The fuck you mean by that? I ain’t never fuck Paige. That’s a fucking insult to myself, especially this dick,” Erik pointed to the dick in question. He kissed his teeth, “Man...I can’t believe you put me and Paige in one sentence like that.”

“That’s what everybody said, Erik! And you didn’t deny it either-“

“Everybody must wanna die. I don’t like motherfuckers lying on me, Y/N. You know how I can get,” Erik’s jaw tightened, “Really? And you of all people believed that shit?”

“Because you DIDNT DENY IT.” She yelled.

“Number one, I was hardly around to deny it. Two, I don’t entertain that bullshit. It’s child’s play. Three, I would never disrespect you like that and fuck your homegirl-“

“Erik, you fucked one of my homegirls STOP IT,” Y/N laughed harshly.

“WHO?” He argued back.

“JAMILLA.” Y/N fired back.

“JAMILLA? Big titties? Chocolate? Short cut hair?”

“...Yes.” Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. Erik was deep in thought for a second before a coy smile spread across his lips. Y/N hated his handsome smile at that very moment.

“I remember Jamilla,” Erik reaches for his cup but those dimples couldn’t be hidden even if he tried, they were too damn deep.

“She was cool,” He shrugs, bringing that cup to his lips but as soon as he looked over at Y/N’s glaring face Erik damn near spit his drink all over his crisp white T-shirt.

“Fuck you.” Y/N said with spite.

“Listen, can we just get back on topic? About you? I’m not worried about Jamilla, Paige, or Sharnese, okay? I’m worried about my best friend-“

“That you all of a sudden want to fuck?”

“It’s not all of a sudden-did you hear what I said earlier? I SAID that I thought about it plenty of times before, Thickums.”

“Well...why bring it up now?”

“Because I figured I should tell you and get it off my chest since you want some dick from a worthy nigga such as myself.”

“What makes you think it’s you that I want dick from?”

Erik bites his lower lip, “That’s really cute, ma, real cute. What other nigga is worthy? You turn down any dude that gets in your space, and I’m the only man that you’re this comfortable around. So, if that doesn’t confirm it I don’t know what else does. Unless...there are some personal reasons that you haven’t shared with me,” Erik raises a brow at her while looking at her body. Y/N felt exposed and purely shocked at Erik looking at her the way he was. All seductive and sexy.

“Admit it,” Erik pushes, “You want to lose your virginity to me but you’re afraid. You’re afraid to ask because I’m your best friend and you don’t want to make it weird and ruin our friendship. Admit it...you were saving yourself for me.”

Y/N had a vacant expression on her face. She looked away from Erik and down into her lap, twirling the ring around her finger. She couldn’t look Erik in the eyes. He was right. She was saving herself for him. She thought she could deny it for however long and hope that he would somehow make the first move on her. She hadn’t expected that day to be today. He could read her so well. Was she really that obvious?

“I don’t hear you talking, Thickums.”

“Shut up, Erik.”

“Talk to me-“

“NO!” She threw a pillow at Erik’s head, “No! I’m not saying shit.”

“Cuz’ I’m spot on,” He laughs, “I knew it-“

“Erik...shut up...right now.”

“NO. You shut up before I lay you out on this fucking couch-“

“Don’t tell me to shut up-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Erik raised his voice.

“Who are you talking to?!!!-“

Erik Damn near charged at Y/N on the couch, pinning her body down flat, bringing her arms above her head, and placing his strong body on top of hers. She squirmed, squealed, fussed, but Erik wasn’t letting go. He allowed her to grow tired so that she would have no other choice but to give in. Finally, she stopped moving and started whimpering. Erik was laid out on top of her, his crotch resting on her upper thigh. The more she made those little whimpering noises the more his dick grew. He looked down at her thigh then up into her face. She weakly met his eyes before looking away to avoid them.

“Look at me,” Erik demanded.

“No. You need to get off of me.”

“But you don’t want me to.”

Y/N moved her thigh that was directly under Erik’s crotch, giving him some friction. Erik swallowed spit. That thigh meat felt good against his dick. He went to move against her causing her to writhe beneath him, her thighs moving up and down. Up and down. Side to side. Side to side.

“What are you doing?” Y/N glanced down at her leg.

“Nothing,” Erik plays it off.

“Erik,” Y/N threw her head back against the arm of the couch, “get off of me.”

“No.”

“Pleaseeeee.” She begged.

That only made Erik move against her thigh again. Alarmed, Y/N started twisting her wrists to try and release herself from his grasp.

“What are you d-doing?” She staggered.

“Just playing,” Erik laughs.

“Playing?” Y/N watches Erik move his crotch up and down her leg.

“Erik, are you-“

“Just shut up and let it happen, Thickness,” His dick was almost at full capacity. About 95% hard. It was Y/N’s thick thighs. Felt like he was grinding into a couch cushion with how thick and soft she is. Each time his dick would rub against her, his balls would jump.

“Erik, a-are you humping me?” Y/N barely spoke. Her voice was so low in his ear. How did it get to this? One minute Y/N was calling up Erik to help her out and now he was grinding his dick against her thigh. Her face was frozen. Her limbs were stiff. She could feel that thick pole and all its length glide against her skin. Each time he came back up his dick would twist to the side in his jeans and touch her inner thigh. He was...she couldn’t find a word that best describes how big he was besides large. Enormous? Monstrous? Vast? Colossal?

“What does it look like, ma?” He bit into his lip, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth at Y/N’s expression. She was lost. Barely able to register what was happening.

“That’s what it looks like,” Y/N spoke off to the side because she couldn’t look Erik in the eye.

“This too much for you, Miss Virgin? I mean...” he swiveled his hips causing his dick to move from side to side on her thigh, “I know you’re pure and all...”

“Fuck, Erik. Please get off of m-me,” Y/N’s heart was thumping in her rib cage, “You’re drunk and when you wake up tomorrow you won’t even realize what you d-did.” She felt exhausted and all she was doing was laying there taking Erik’s assaults. He clearly thought the shit was hilarious because Y/N could tell that he was smiling in her peripheral.

“You got me over here dry humping you’re leg. Stop acting like you don’t like it and let go.”

“I can see that,” she said with an awkward tone, “Erik, I’m in literal shock right now-“

“See what? You ain’t seeing shit with your eyes looking at the wall.”

Y/N rolled her eyes before biting her tongue. She did like it. She’d never experienced it. He was centimeters away from her crotch. All he had to do was pull his pants and briefs down and there would be skin on skin humping. Y/N would probably cum right then and there from that alone. Her pussy was throbbing right now, “I have more courage to focus on the wall than at what you’re doing to me right now.”

“Thickums,” Erik whispered in her ear, “don’t you wanna see it?” Her heart stopped.

“It?” She asked with a perplexed expression.

“Yeah,” He smiled, “Tell me what it is.”

“...I don’t want to, Erik.” She shook her head, trying to force herself to breathe normally again.

“Why? Tell me, I’m your bestie.”

Why is your dick so big? Why are you making my pussy so wet? Can you please pop my cherry? I’ve always wanted this too. Erik, I’m dick-hungry and I need it. Show me?

Her eyes closed.

“Why are you so damn thick?” His breathing was ragged.

“Genetics,” she answered sarcastically.

Erik kisses his teeth, “You’re so damn uptight. Loosen the fuck up before I make you.”

“Erik, please-“

“Nah, I want you to stop acting all shy. It’s me, Erik, your best friend for like, 15 years?”

But,” Y/N licked her dry lips, “My best friend is getting...getting hard because of me. It’s...I can’t even think straight.”

Erik grabs her chin, making her look at him. When she did, she saw all of the desire in his eyes. Raw, uncontrollable, desire. It stunned her. Now, Y/N couldn’t look away. He wasn’t giving her an annoyed look like he usually would. He wasn’t ready to burst into a laughing fit as if to say “gotcha”. Y/N knew he was dead serious. She felt her body relax against his. This was Erik. She could be open with him and honest.

“Erik...,” Y/N looked from her thigh to his face, “I’m not gonna lie...I’m nervous.”

“I know. That’s why I want you to loosen up. We don’t even gotta have sex-“

“No, no. I want to.” Y/N felt her body shivering.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I do want you to be my first. I can’t think of anybody else...”

There was silence for a moment. Erik and Y/N just stared at each other. They were silently accepting what the next move would be. Kiss. Undress. Touch. Lick. Suck. Fuck.

“I got you,” Erik kisses her forehead, “I promise it’ll be amazing. None of that wack shit. I want my best friend to have a memorable first time.”

“Okay,” Y/N spoke with a soft voice.

“Okay,” Erik let go of Y/N’s wrists above her head slowly. Her hands came down at her sides. Erik watched her for a moment to see if she would change her mind but Y/N waited patiently for Erik to make the first move. Any move. Erik’s eyes admired Y/N. Full lips, prominent brown eyes, round nose, head full of kinky curly hair that frizzed at the ends because she picked it out. Now, his eyes were staring at the silhouette of her body. Curvy, soft, chocolate. Everything that he loved. Everything he wanted to eat, suck, lick, bite, fuck. Erik reaches his left hand up to Y/Ns face. Using just his fingertips, Erik strokes Y/N from her forehead down to her chin. His thumb would delicately touch her cheek while he gazed into her eyes to watch her every reaction.

“You’re so beautiful Thickums,” Erik smiles.

“Thanks, E,” she bashfully looked down.

“Especially those lips,” Erik bit his lip, “Those lips looking really juicy.”

“Oh gosh,” Y/N giggles while biting her lip.

“Stop, STOP,” Erik deepens his voice, “I’m supposed to bite that lip.”

Y/N slowly dragged her lip from between her teeth. The moment her spit covered lip released, Erik takes his teeth to bit her lip lightly. Y/N’s body jumped. She wasn’t used to that type of contact. Of course, she kissed guys before but never like this. Erik’s lips sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. Y/N could taste the Hennessy on his tongue. His tongue was so warm and silky smooth. Each time he dragged his tongue along her bottom lip, Y/N would take her fists to grip Erik’s shirt tightly.

“You’re gonna let me stick my tongue down your throat, Y/N?”

“Y-yes.”

Erik gripped her neck lightly, taking his much fuller lips to mold with Y/N’s. He took her breath away each time he kissed. Y/N brought her hands up to hold Erik’s face, closing her eyes to relish at the moment. She couldn’t look at him while they kissed. It was too intense. Erik didn’t even speak, his body did all the talking. Grinding his iron-hard dick into her thigh, grunting into her mouth, tongue wiggling in her mouth, hands coming down to wrap around her waist, pulling her into his solid chest. He could feel her nipples through her Demi bra and thin white top.

“Erik,” Y/N stopped kissing Erik to breathe and lick her swollen lips, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“I can’t either,” Erik reaches up to grab her left breast, “but I like this shit. My dick is...so stiff.”

“I know,” Y/N whispered.

“Look, let me show you.”

Erik sat on his knees. Y/N watched with low eyes as Erik unbuttons his jeans. Then comes the zipper. The one barrier keeping that long dick away from her. Erik takes his shirt to rest under his chin, his hands sliding into his jeans and briefs, pulling them down in one clean motion. Her gasp and wide eyes were the reactions that he wanted. Y/N covered her mouth, her eyes never leaving Erik’s dick. Long, girthy, smooth, groomed, chocolate, veins protruding through his skin, tip shiny from his precum, Y/N was blown away. 

“You see how hard my dick is?” Erik moved his hips to make his dick bounce, “I’m so hard, bestie.”

“Um,” Y/N licked her lips, “It’s nice, Erik...it’s...a lot of dick.”

Both of them laugh.

“Yeah,” Erik grabs Y/N’s hand, “touch my dick, Thickums.”

“I’m scared,” Y/N nervously laughs.

“It’s okay, relax, ma. Didn’t I tell you I got you?”

“Yeah…,” Y/N looked up at Erik through her lashes.

“So let me take care of you,” Erik rubs her hand with his thumb, “Here,” he spoke softly. 

Erik wrapped Y/N’s hand around his shaft. Her fingers hardly touched with her hand grabbing him. She swallowed spit, her chest rising and falling swiftly. Y/N was afraid to do anything else but the warmth and softness of his dick made her pussy convulse. Imagine all that smooth dick sliding inside of you. Covered in your cream, stretching you out, digging deeply, and making you cum and squirt. At that moment, Y/N forgot about what her fingers and toys could do. She wanted to find out what Erik’s dick could make her do. 

“Look at that little hand grabbing all this meat.”

“Fuck, Erik.”

“Don’t worry, just wait, you’ll be able to take all of this.”

“I-okay…” Y/N was unsure.

“That tight pussy can stretch, Y/N, before you know it, that pussy is gonna’ take all of me.”

She whimpers.

Erik didn’t say a word as he started untying Y/N’s long wrap skirt. He pulled the skirt from her body and stared down at a pair of yellow lace panties wrapped around a chocolate treat. 

“Mhm,” Erik took his fingers to play with the corners of the crotch of her panties, “This the pussy I’m taking, Y/N? This virgin pussy?”

“Uh-huh,” she spoke timidly.

“Uh-huh is right,” Erik leaned down to her again, Y/N’s hand still wrapped around his dick, “I’m eating your pussy too.”

“Okay, you can eat my pussy,” She nibbled on her bottom lip.

“You can eat my pussy,” Erik mocked her sweet voice, “Damn, just like that, huh?”

“Yeah,” Her voice was shaky.

“Bet,” Erik grabbed the end of Y/N’s shirt. He pulled it up past her belly and then over her bra. She had on a brown Demi bra. 

“Damn, nice full titties, ma,” He pulled down the straps and watched each fleshy mound pop out with hard Hershey kiss nipples. Y/N closed her eyes, skin heated from Erik using his thumbs to pluck her nipples and twirl them. Erik then pulled her nipples and shook her breasts, releasing them and watching them bounce. Y/N’s deep breaths became louder and louder while she squirmed beneath him. 

“Shit feels good doesn’t it?” 

“Yessssss,” She hissed.

“Ima suck em for you-“

“Please?” She reached out for him.

Erik wrapped his lips around her left nipple. He sucks nice and hard. She could feel her nipple repeatedly being pulled and suckled between Erik’s tight lips. Each nerve ending in her nipple ignited and sparked. Her thighs rubbed together, and her hands clawed his arms, mouth unhinged and stayed wide open with no sound escaping. So this is what it felt like to be suckled on? Now, she wanted him to show her right breast some attention. Y/N takes her hand to grip the back of Erik’s neck, pulling his face over to her other breast with a pout of her lip.

“Ha,” Erik looked up at her through his long lashes, “My bestie feenin’ already.” 

“It feels good,” She blushes.

“Mmm,” Erik gave her right nipple the same amount of attention while using his thumb to play with her left nipple. Y/N’s body arched and writhed. She ran her fingers through his dreads, pulling the coarse hair. He made her body tingle all over. Her toes curled and eyes rolled. If Erik kept this up she might cum. It felt that strong and good that she was ready to burst. 

“Fuck, girl,” Erik’s chin was stained with spit, “You taste like chocolate all over these nipples.” Erik licked her nipples one by one to give them equal amounts of attention. Her fingers in his hair were so violent. Erik could feel pain in his scalp as if she was trying to snatch his hair out. Y/N’s skin was at high temperature and now her thighs were squeezing Erik’s hips. 

“Chill out, Thickums,” Erik reaches around her body to pull her bra fully off, “That’s better,” his hands squeezed and massaged her breasts, “Give me a kiss.”

Initiating the kiss this time around, Y/N leaned forward on her elbows, sloppily crashing her lips into Erik’s. He softly chuckles, blowing air from his nose that tickles her upper lip. It was unhurried, steady, and gentle. Y/N wanted to learn Erik’s mouth and what he liked. Did he prefer for her to use a lot of tongue or did he enjoy the way she sucked on his bottom lip? Erik seemed to approve of whatever she did because he was grunting into her mouth repeatedly. Kissing him made her body have chills. Y/N felt like her soul was being sucked through her mouth into his from how breathless she was at the moment. 

“God,” she broke the kiss, taking in a deep breath. Erik trailed his kisses down her neck and back up over and over. Goosebumps rose over her skin and his hands stroking her shoulders didn’t help. 

“Your lips are so fucking soft, Mhm,” He nibbled on her bottom lip, “Why did you move your hand from my dick, ma? Put it back on there.”

Scared, Y/N grabs Erik’s dick again, testing the weight of it. He was so sure that she would be able to take him just fine but the more she squeezed him and lightly stroked him she started to feel apprehensive. Y/N’s hand moves down to touch Erik’s balls. She trembled, her breath coming out uneven. 

“Y/N,” Erik could feel her hand shaking around him, “Relax, baby, relax, Aight?”

“Erik-“

“Shhh, don’t talk,” Erik pulled at Y/N’s panties, “Let me take care of you, okay? That way, you’ll feel more confident to take care of me.”

Y/N simply nodded her head. Erik grabbed the sides of her panties to tug down her legs. Her knees quaked as soon as the fabric was down past her toes. She was now fully exposed in front of her best friend. Her best friend and now her fuck buddy. It was now or never. 

“Aren’t you going to take off your clothes, E?”

“Not until I’m finished with you. I want you to undress me.” Erik carefully placed his hands on Y/N’s knees, “I’m about to spread these thick thighs, ma, you ready?”

Dragging her tongue over her bottom lip, Y/N nodded her head sluggishly.

“Talk to me, ma, say yes,” Erik’s hands dragged up her thighs.

“Yes,” Erik was captivating her with his smooth voice. He can get all the pussy in the world with his voice. 

“Good girl. See? That wasn’t hard, Thickums-“

“Erik…,” She shyly looked away, “um...can you take off your clothes too? That’ll make me feel more comfortable if you're naked like me.”

“You sure?” He asked with a single brow upthrust. 

“I’m sure, E,” Y/N smiled, “Let me.”

Erik stood from the couch while Y/N sat in front of him. She helped him out of his jeans and briefs before tossing that on the floor in a wrinkled pile. Now, her fingers lightly pulled at the bottom of his shirt, hitching it up to reveal his scar covered abdomen and chest. Erik helped her out the rest of the way, pulling at his shirt from the back, then up and over his head forward. Even undressing him was stimulating. Erik was a lot of man. Able-bodied and powerful. 

“Lay back, girl, let me taste you.”

She could feel her body laying back against the couch but her mind was elsewhere. She was enthralled but at the same time, she was a nervous wreck. Erik’s strapping body hovered over hers for a moment before his chest touched her naked one. The scarring gave Y/N a pleasant texture against her nipples. His lips sucked on her throat before trailing down the middle of her chest, her belly where he licked her outie-belly button, and now all over her phat mound. She was smooth down there and could feel the moisture of his lips caressing and tasting her. She could feel her body thrusting up into Erik. Y/N’s heated eyes watched him push her thighs back gently so he could kiss her pussy lips delicately. Even when he kissed her outer lips, Erik could still taste her arousal. Sweet, syrupy, goodness. It was the natural lubricant that leaked from a virgin puss. Erik wanted to growl. 

“Goddamn,” He was fanatical, “This motherfucker tastes good.” 

“Thank you,” she withdrew her eyes from his, “It feels good...I like it…”

“How much?” Erik stroked his thumb up and down her pussy lips to rub in her natural lubricant. Each time he drew his thumb back, a slimy string would connect to the pad of his thumb from her pussy lips. Erik sucked his thumb each time causing his best friend to gasp with surprise. 

“Tell me how much, Y/N.”

“So much,” she said with a self-conscious voice.

“Girl...I’m gonna break you out of that shy shit tonight. Wait and see.”

“Erik, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t apologize. I know, baby, you can’t help yourself. I’m putting my lips on this little pussy and it’s too much to handle. Just know this though...I’m gonna make you handle it.”

“Oh,” she lets out a shaky breath, “You’re nasty, Erik.” She nervously bit into her bottom lip. He was too nasty. 

“This ain’t nowhere near how nasty I can get,” Erik looked down at Y/N’s pussy, “open these thick thighs so I can see this little pussy, okay?”

“Okay,” hesitantly, Y/N opened her shaking thighs. Erik watched her juicy peach span out for him. The sound of her wetness against the skin of her pussy when her lips spread had Erik grinding his hips into the couch cushions. Y/N’s pussy is beautiful. All that honey sticking to her clit, labia, and outer pussy lips. He didn’t even want to lick it up just yet. It was so breathtaking coated in her sloppy goodness. He remembers taking some chick virginity when he was in high school and all he wanted to do was cum. But now, he took his time to fully admire how beautiful her pure and flawless pussy is. 

“Baby girl...I don’t even want to ruin this just yet...oh my God-“

“Why?” She asked with a perplexed expression.

“Because it’s so precious, that’s why,” Erik licked his lips. 

“Well...I want you to eat it, Erik, right now, please?”

“Right now?” Erik smirked, “look at you, demanding me. How about you lay there and watch me eat this pussy. How about that? And you better not look away either.” 

Y/N gave Erik a nervous smile, “I’ll try…”

“Nah, you better do it, Thickums, you ready?”

“Yes.”

Erik adjusted Y/N’s hips on the couch. He got down on his knees and spread her legs wide. Y/N sat up on her elbows so she could watch him like he instructed her to. Erik’s hands smoothed up the back of her thighs before holding them firmly like he did when they were in the car. Pussy spread open and ready to be devoured, Erik started off by giving his best friend soothing kisses to her clit and labia. Y/N reluctantly watched Erik. She tried to pay attention but what she really wanted to do was hide her face with a pillow. She felt so exposed and watching her best friend kiss her pussy, her special place, made her want to shrink away. Erik is so intimidating and experienced, Y/N felt like she wouldn’t be able to keep up with him.

“Erik...Erik,” She called his name. He was too busy getting his lips covered in her juices. Y/N let out a silent scream when she felt the first lick. He dragged his long tongue between her inner lips and up over her clit. Erik repeated this a few times before looking up into her eyes. Y/N gave Erik a sheepish grin. 

“I like it when you say my name like that.”

He tongue kissed her outer lips on each side before placing that same kiss but slower on her clit. Erik had a finesse with eating pussy that Y/N wasn’t prepared for. He took his time to work her up to even more wetness and a powerful orgasm. Now Y/N was being needy. She could see her hips pushing up into Erik’s mouth each time he gave her attention to her clit. Even while he teased her she felt the full capability of what he could do. Erik didn’t even suck on her clit and tongue fuck her yet. 

“You like it when I do this,” Erik finally sucked on her clit and labia at the same time.

Y/N moaned, hummed, and sighed. She could only make noises. The vocabulary was a second thought. Erik wrapping his lips around her like that had her ready to scream. How could she miss out on something like that? Her clit felt so sensitive between his lips. 

“Answer me, ma, talk to me.” Erik did it again.

Y/N shook her head no with a pout of her bottom lip. 

“We gotta talk to each other, bestie. You don’t wanna talk to me?” Erik spoke with faux sadness.

“E-Erik-Umph!!” Y/N pushed at his head, “Ahhh, my God-“

Keeping her thighs back because Y/N was ready to smash his head like a grape, Erik really showed her just how nasty he could get. Erik used his whole mouth and all its skills to eat the fuck out of her pussy. He wanted his bestie to remember what that mouth could really do. Her arms covered her eyes and her teeth painfully bit into her lower lip. Erik watched her stomach flex. She was ready to fly off that damn couch. 

“Erik, Erik, Erik, Erik, I can’t, Erik,” she whispered, “It feels so good I can’t, Erik. I-Umph!, Erik!”

Erik allowed her to grab hold of his dreads to move his head while he worked his mouth. Whenever she would move his head to the left, he would take care of her there. The same thing for the right, his lips would slurp and kiss whatever he could reach. That middle is what had her moaning and groaning. That’s where she smashed his face into her pussy. His lips sucked her directly over her clit before his tongue rolled out to flick at her entrance. He felt her pussy tighten around the tip of his tongue. 

“Oh my God, ahhhh, Erik, it’s-I’m gonna cum-“

“Mhm, mmm,” He mumbled into her pussy. Erik stuck his tongue out and pushed it as far as it could go into her pussy before he started moving in and out. His tongue was so sharp, wet, smooth, warm, and textured while it fucked her pussy. Her clit didn’t feel left out either because Erik’s thumb would circle it and pluck it. 

“Oh, my goodness, Erik,” She gasped, “Erik shitttt, fuckkkkkkkkk, this is too much-“

Fingers clawing the couch, Y/N threw her head back. She wipes her face to catch the tears. That wouldn’t be the first time she cries tonight. The feeling was extraordinary. As if choking on her breath, Y/N felt her lower belly tighten and a feeling creeps up and over her skin. She knew what this feeling was whenever she rubbed her own clit. Erik reaches out to interlock his fingers with hers while he took care of her, giving his all. She fought to breathe through it all but the second her eyes rolled shut and the muscles in her body tightened it was all over. Y/N erupted into Erik’s mouth. Her fingers tightened around his and she allowed her tears to fall. 

“Good girl, such a good girl for me,” Erik praises her.

“I…” she didn’t even know where to start. 

“You came so much best friend,” Erik was amazed.

“Baby,” Y/N moaned.

“You’re a good girl, cumming in my mouth like that,” Erik soothed her pussy with kisses, “Are you gonna be a good girl for the rest of the night?”

“Uh-huh,” she cleared her throat.

“Because I gotta teach you how to suck Daddy’s dick, okay?” 

“Umph, Erik-“ 

“It’s gonna be really good, look at this Daddy dick best friend.”

Y/N lifted her head to stare at all of Erik again. He was pulsating. His dick was really struggling. Erik was much larger than before. Maybe this was his full capacity. Y/N nervously nibbled on her fingers. 

“It’s okay...it’s okay, best friend...I’m gonna take care of you, I promise.”

Erik stood up in front of Y/N. She moved her body to sit on the edge of the couch. Y/N grabs Erik’s dick, looking up at him with her innocent eyes to wait for his first instruction. 

“Good girl, now, you see Daddy’s tip,” Erik rubs it with his thumb, “suck on Daddy’s tip nice and slow for me.”

Y/N timidly wraps her lips around the head of his dick. She felt the sides of her lips stretch uncomfortably before he finally settled in her mouth. Her tongue flicked the tip to taste his pre-cum. More saliva produced after that. 

“Yeah, Good, now suck on it...don’t rush it.”

Y/N did her best and sucked lightly on Erik’s head. She worked up a slow rhythm to help herself get used to it.

“Tighten them lips, ma...yeah, just like that, good girl.”

She kept her lips snug while sucking gently. Spit drizzled to her bottom lip and fell to her chest. This was going to be a mess.

“Damn, bestie, that little mouth…you ain’t so innocent anymore.”

She was getting used to twirling her tongue around his dick and sucking on his head. Now, she wanted to give the rest of him some attention. Y/N lowered her mouth some more over him. She stopped to accommodate the amount of dick she slobbered on now. Her body jerked a little because she felt like she wanted to gag.

“Be patient,” Erik fisted her hair, “You’ll get there, ma, it’s too much for you right now. Take your time wit’ it...uh-huh, Hmph, yep, that’s what I mean.”

The sounds of her sucking made her sunken cheeks blush. He felt so good in her mouth. She didn’t want to stop. She wanted to take the challenge and fit all of him in. 

“Fuck, Y/N, look at you, still tryna’ fit more of me in there? Y/N…breathe through your nose, ma.”

She did, and it worked just a little bit. She wouldn’t be able to speak in the morning. Ten inches of dick trying to fit into her virgin mouth is a lot.

“That’s how you want it, huh?” Erik asked with a breathless voice, “okay...okay.”

Erik took over, moving his hips in and out. Y/N grabbed his thighs, closing her eyes to calm herself so her throat wouldn’t close up. She wanted to challenge herself while sucking dick for the first time. The sounds Erik made while he swiveled his hips made her pussy drip to the floor.

“That’s it, let Daddy fuck this nasty little mouth. I’m gonna turn you into a real freak, best friend. Watch how you end up. Gon’ have you sucking dick and taking dick. You like that, don’t you? Turning into a slut? That sound good?”

She nodded her head with watery eyes.

“I’m gonna train you so well. Before you know it, you’ll be able to swallow this dick just like I like. And for that puss,” Erik reaches down to slap her pussy, “that little motherfucker gon’ know when Daddy in it, have you cumming and cumming fucking with me.”

Mmm,” she whimpered.

“Your jaws are tight,” Erik closed his eyes, “Goddayummm.” 

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. Erik was heavy and thick in her mouth. She tried to be a good girl for him but the second Erik thrust his hips she gagged around him and slipped her mouth off his dick. 

“Shit, come here,” Erik’s eyes were dark, “Nah, your mouth feeling too good right now.”

Y/N shook her head, “Erik, I can’t handle it.”

“You were just handling it,” He was desperate, “What if I went slow? I can go in and out real slow for you, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N wrapped her lips around him again.

“YES,”  Erik growled, “Let me fuck your mouth nice and slow.”

He went at a measured pace. This also gave Y/N time to admire the faces he made. Scrunching his nose, biting his lip, licking them too. His eyes were no longer a deep brown but more of a piercing black. He looked at her like he wanted to devour her. Not once did he blink. He’s so sexy. So handsome. All that beautiful dick in her mouth. All of this man standing before her ready to turn her out. 

“Guess what?” Erik pulls his dick from her compressed mouth, “I’m this close to cumming,” He put his thumb and pointer finger together to show her how close, “If you let me, bestie, I’ll cum in your mouth.”

“You want me to swallow it?” Y/N asked while staring at Erik jerk his dick.

“Uh-huh...swallow my cum for me?” 

“Yes,” She nodded her head leisurely.

“Good fucking girl, I swear,” Erik rubs the tip of his dick against her lips, “open up.”

Y/N closed her eyes as Erik’s dick went deeper into her mouth. His hands came up to hold her face while he thrust his hips into her mouth. His mouth unhinged and his head went back to stare at the ceiling. She could hear him mumbling something. Probably saying how good it felt. Now, Erik stood still, taking one hand to palm the back of her head, using it to bob her head up and down his dick. Y/N used all the strength she had to accept his rapid pace. He didn’t care about slow and careful anymore, this big dick was about to bust. 

“Fuckkkk, girl fuckkk.”

Y/N took it up a notch and grabbed his balls to squeeze.

“The fuck- Oh SHIT!” 

Y/N’s windpipe gave way to Erik’s dick. She gagged around him.

“ECHHH, ACHHH,” Y/N gurgled. Her eyes widened and blinked when she finally felt Erik’s cum hit the back of her throat. Thick, warm, tangy, it was a new experience. Wanting to get all of him, Y/N gulped him down while jerking his dick to empty him. Erik breathes deeply. She didn’t think it would end with how much it was. 

“Girl, I swear to God,” Erik pulls his dick out, “I bust so much, girl.”

Y/N wipes her mouth, “I know, Daddy.” 

“I’m Daddy,” Erik lifted her from the couch, “That shit felt so damn good, mmm. And you’re my little girl.”

Y/N thought about that. Being Erik’s little girl. And his best friend. 

“We takin’ this shit to the bed, Aight?”

“Okay.”

Y/N covered her chest, walking past Erik with a bashful smile. Erik reaches out to lightly slap her ass. That shit jiggled like a bowl of jello. 

“Take your hands down. What I tell you about that?”

Y/N lowered her hands.

“Go and arch over the bed. Ass up, baby girl.”

He wanted it like that already? Y/N took her time walking to her room. While there, she crawled on the bed, lying flat on her belly. She shivered. Ass up? How would she be able to handle that? 

“I thought I said ass up?” Erik walked in with his dick swinging.

“Umph, okay,” with difficulty, Y/N hiked her ass up and turned her head sideways to face Erik. Erik looked over her body before his eyes connected with hers.

“Now it’s time for lesson number two. I gotta teach you to take some dick in that little pussy. That arch...that arch ain’t good enough, ma.”

Erik walked up behind Y/N, grabbing her hips. His fingers massaged her hips in soothing circles. She closed her eyes. Now, Erik’s large hands were in the middle of her back, pressing down further. Y/N clenched. She never curved her body like that. Her chest was pressed into the mattress. Her ass was really lifted into the air. She shook slightly. 

“This is how you arch. Get that ass up as far as it can go. See? This how you bring that ass north,” Erik slaps her cheeks, making them sting.

“Daddy…,” Y/N spoke weakly, “I-I’m scared.”

“Shhh, cut that out,” Erik rubs her ass cheeks, “Stop doing that. What did I say?”

“You’re gonna take care of me,” She spoke with a small voice.

“Exactly. I wouldn’t lie to you. It’s gonna be your first time, bestie, and my dick is big. Once I'm there, you’ll be feenin’ so good you won’t want me to stop,” Erik leaned forward to kiss her back, “You’ll want me to fuck you anytime and that’s cool cuz I plan on doing that anyway.”

“I trust you.”

“I swear, I promise.”

“I’m ready.” She convinced herself. 

Erik got down on his knees to spread Y/N’s pussy open. She was still very wet but he knew she would need a lot more. 

“Do you have lube?”

“Yes,” Y/N pointed to her dresser, “In there.”

Erik got up to retrieve the lube. He found it hidden between her socks and underwear. Erik walked back over to her, getting down on his knees again. He put his mouth on her pussy again to warm her up to it. Y/N reached back to grab his head. Erik slurped her up all over. She whimpered into the bed. 

“Daddy, I love it when you eat me,” She spoke softly.

Erik went crazy. Now she was getting her pussy eaten from the back. Once he started he couldn’t stop. Y/N made the sexiest noises. Erik’s tongue wiggles everywhere and Y/N’s ass rocked back. She was going to cum each time Erik sucked on her pussy. 

“Ahhhhhhhh!” She shook, “ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!”

Like before, Erik drank her empty. Y/N pulled the covers from her bed. 

“Girl, I’m telling you,” Erik rubbed her pussy, “I’m going to fuck your little ass up.”

“Please,” She begs, “Please fuck me, Daddy.”

Erik takes his fingers, two of them, and slides them inside of Y/N. She instantly gripped him. Erik couldn’t even get his fingers out from her vice grip. He was steady with his fingers. The more he stroked, the more cream spilled from her entrance and trailed down to her clit. When it reached her clit, the fluids dropped to the bed. 

“This pussy can’t stop leaking,” Erik wiggles his fingers deep, “I’m reaching in that pussy, best friend?”

“Yesssss-“

“I gotta stretch you to fit me.”

“Please fuck me.”

“I will-“

“Please?”

“Why do you have to beg me like that?” Erik grunted.

“Because I want you to pop my cherry.”

“Y/N,” Erik slaps her ass, “Say that shit again.”

“I want you to pop my cherry, Daddy-“

“Fuck, you know how bad I want it.”

“Then get it, fuck me like a Daddy is supposed to fuck me.” 

“Ain’t shy no more. You talk like that now?”

“Mhm, please-“

“Bet, I got that ass.”

Erik opened the lube, squeezing some on his fingers. He applied it to his dick until it was fully coated before sinking those same fingers into her pussy again. He didn’t go too deep in her pussy but deep enough for her to feel him. She wanted that cherry popped it was going to be with his dick. Erik stood behind her, taking his dick and bringing it to her pussy. He rubbed it around her clit before placing the head of his dick at her entrance. He looked at her tiny fuck hole and the head of his dick was bigger than that. He would really have to squeeze in there. 

“I’m sorry, baby girl, but you have a little pussy on you and...It’s gonna hurt at first, okay? Don’t be scared, I promise I will make it better.”

Y/N swallowed spit. She was panting like she ran a marathon.

“Y/N?” Erik asked with concern.

“Just do it, Daddy. Will this help?” Y/N reached behind her to spread her pussy lips, “Is that better, Daddy?”

“Yo,” Erik shook his head, “Oh, that’s fucking better alright. Keep that pink puss open just like that and take this big ass dick, okay?” 

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good fucking girl,” Erik takes the base of his dick, then at a slow-going pace, he pushes the head of his dick in. It felt like he had already popped her cherry with the way her body jerked and how his head went in. Smooth at first then pop it landed right inside. 

“Are you okay?” Erik looked around to see Y/N’s eyes closed and lips parted. 

She licked her lips before speaking with a hoarse voice, “Yes.”

“Okay, I’m about to put more in,” Erik watched Y/N’s pussy slowly engulfing him while her walls damn near wrung him dry. She was so wet and compressed around his thick pipe. Y/N’s hands let go of her pussy lips to reach for Erik. She had her face smashed into the bed. Erik pulled back to the tip and when he did that, Y/N clenched up and whimpered in pain.

“Ouch,” she cried, “Ouch, ouch, ouch.”

Erik looked down at his dick to see a little bit of blood. He did it. He popped her cherry. Y/N breathed so rapidly that Erik was afraid she was having a panic attack.

“Y/N are you cool? I don’t like the way you’re breathing right now.”

“I-I’ll be okay,” Y/N breathed out of her mouth, “Just...just please keep going.”

It stung, and now her pussy throbbed with pain but it wouldn’t last forever. Erik was stretching her and she wanted more. Under that pain is a tingly sensation inside of her. The reaction to the way he glided in. If that’s what it felt like she needed more of it and now.

“I popped that cherry, ma, you bled out on my dick.”

The sound of that turned her on. He took her virginity. His big dick invaded her purity. She loved it. Loved it a lot. Y/N could tell Erik did too.

“Can I see?” She asked.

Erik walked around her to show her. Covered in cream and her clear fluids with a little bit of blood on the upper shaft of his dick. No wonder she bled out as well. Erik is a big boy. She was surprised that was all that came out of her.

“You like this,” Erik smirked while jerking his dick, rubbing it in, “I like the shit too.”

“I want more,” Y/N reached back to rub her swollen lips, “please, Daddy, I want more.”

She was so excited and nervous at the same time. Erik was behind her again, fixing her arch and adding more lube. She was already so wet but he needed to be sure she would feel comfortable. Satisfied, Erik brought his dick to her entrance again, sinking back inside. Y/N clawed the bed, before turning her head to stare forward. Her toes flexed. She was stuffed full of dick. Finally, Erik had all of him inside of her pussy. 

“Goddamn,” Erik brought his hands up to rub down his face, “Hold still for me, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N rubbed the bottom of her belly. She felt a lot of pressure there. It was this damn position. 

“Gotta pull out some so I can get back in this pussy. You have me hooked.”

Erik pulled out to the tip of his dick, then bam! He hit her again. Y/N gasped aloud. He repeated it again, his hands on her hips. Y/N could hear her wet pussy covered in lube. After Erik thrust a few times she started getting used to it, arching her back even more and moving her hips. That deep pressure made her eyes roll. 

“I’m fucking this pussy up. You ready?”

“Y-yes-“

“Damn, I’m about to show you some shit, girl.”

Grabbing the sheets, Y/N felt Erik’s hands get tighter. He pulled out again to the tip, then bam! Back in but this time he knocked the wind out of her. Her hands came back to grab his wrists. Erik pulled out...bam! Her eyes popped open. He increased with each stroke until finally, Y/N was experiencing what it felt like to be fucked by a big dick. Doing it nice and slow felt good but doing it fast felt amazing. He made her cheeks clap against him, loud moans escape her mouth, and her legs shake. He brought his hands up to her spine, Y/N’s hands falling to the bed. 

“Nope, that’s not how we arch, girl,” He barked out, “I’m fucking this little pussy don’t play with me.”

“UHHH, UMPH, AHHHH-“ 

“Pussy so tight, give me that pussy,” Erik presses in deep, “still shy, baby? You’re doing so well, such a slut aren’t you? That’s it, keep that pussy open, fuck, you look so cute when you’re struggling, desperate mess.”

“Daddy,” She moaned. Sniffling back tears, Y/N tried to be a good girl but damn he was banging that thing to death. 

“I fucking love hearing you struggle.”

Y/N was crying and drooling.

“Can you take some more?” 

Y/N quickly shook her head no but Erik lifted her ass up more and kept pounding anyway. When he did that, he stroked her G spot. Y/N couldn’t pull away even if she tried, Erik had her arms. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Please! Cum, Daddy! Please cum! I can’t take it!-“

Instead of him cumming, Y/N spasms, her eyes rolled almost to the whites and she leaked all over his dick. It happened so suddenly. She didn’t see it coming to be able to prepare herself for it. Now, her pussy felt overworked. Erik pulled his dick out of her. Y/N fell flat on her stomach while her body quivered. 

“Flip over, baby, I’m not finished with you yet,” Erik strokes his wet hard dick. 

“Daddy...I don’t know if I can take anymore.”

“You can, and you will. Flip over.”

Y/N flips over onto her back. Her curly bush was matted to her head and her face was stained with tears. Erik grabs her thighs, bringing them over his shoulders. When he did that, her pussy lips spread and she could feel it convulse with need even though it was sore and thoroughly fucked. 

“Now you get to see how my dick gets all this pussy.”

“Erik...please be gentle.” 

“I’ll try but I’m not making any promises.”

Y/N was in another dimension. Erik put his dick in and basically said fuck gentle. One clean thrust of all his long dick had Y/N gasping for air. Her hands came up to push into Erik’s chest but there was no use, her arms were like noodles. She looked around the room with wary eyes. He didn’t go too fast and he didn’t go too slow. She found herself staring down at Erik’s dick and the view had her in a trance. She would have never thought that all of him could fit inside of her. Y/N locked her ankles and wrapped her arms around Erik’s neck. She wanted to kiss him. He understood what that meant, bringing his lips to hers and took her breath away. It was sloppy and passionate while he was inside of her. The minute Erik’s hips smacked against hers loudly Y/N broke the kiss to moan. Erik took that opportunity to ruin her further. He sat up on his hands and fucked her just like he was fucking her from the back. Hard and long. 

“Erik! Pleaseee! Just cum, Daddy! Cum! It’s so big and it’s too much!” 

“Whatever Daddy wants, Daddy gets, ma-“

“Oh my God-“

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” Erik leans down to kiss her throat, “But you gotta stop moving and be a good girl for me, okay?”

Y/N quickly nodded her head. She wanted him to cum badly, that’s how sensitive she is. His dick would drag over her G spot, causing her to tear up. 

“Look at me.” 

Y/N looked up at Erik.

“Go ahead, cum on this Daddy dick.”

She exploded. 

“Good girl, now...let Daddy cum all over you.”

“Please-“

“Can I cum on these big titties?”

“Umph, yes-“

“You gotta say it, Thickums, tell me where you want me to cum?”

“I-I want you to c-cum on my big t-titties.”

“Yes-yes, baby, let me cum on you. Your pussy making me do this. I don’t ever wanna’ catch you giving this good tight pussy to another nigga, understand me?”

“YES!” 

“You’re mine now. Make Daddy happy, baby.”

“Fuck, Daddy,” Y/N let out a sigh when Erik slowed down. His jaw tightened right along with his balls. He was really holding off his cum to feel her more. If she was his and only his, then he would have her pussy anytime. He didn’t need to hold off when he would be cumming again because of her sweet little pussy. 

“Come here,” Erik hooked his hands under her ass, “Come to Daddy, baby.” He said with a gruff tone.

“BABY!!!”

“FUCKKKK! Y/N FUCKKKK!”

Erik slips out dragging his dick up to her breasts and shooting a hefty load over her nipples. He jerked and jerked as Y/N watched ropes and streams of cum shoot out and hit its target. He finally stopped cumming, a long string left over and oozing from his dick. 

“S-suck Daddy dick, baby girl, clean up the m-mess you made,” Erik could barely talk after that big ass nut, “Clean up your fucking mess. All this because of that g-good pussy.”

Y/N wasted no time. She grabbed Erik’s dick up, opened her lips wide, and wrapped her them around him nice and tight. She could taste his cum on the head of his dick and her cum on his shaft. Erik was covered in it all. Y/N didn’t even need to be told to grab Erik’s balls. She squeezed them while sucking his dick. Erik was still iron-hard and ready to fuck. His limitless dick wanted more and more of her. She could tell because of his pitch-black irises. The killer look in his eyes. She popped her mouth off of his dick, a long string of spit hanging from her bottom lip while her innocent eyes cowardly gazed up at him.

“I don’t know what it is right now...but I feel like thumping that ass real good.”

“W-why?!” Y/N clenched her ass cheeks.

“It’s the way you’re looking up at me, girl. I really wanna spank that ass. Make you cry.”

“Erik, no,” Y/N shook her head, “You are too much.” 

“You want it,” Erik smiles at her darkly, “You would like that, wouldn’t you? Be polite and ask nicely.” 

Y/N was back to being faint-hearted. This was Killmonger. One taste of Y/N’s pussy and now he was giving her evil looks and commands. 

“Spank me, Daddy?” She spoke with a fearful tone.

“I can’t hear you, baby, what is it that you want?”

“Spank me.”

“Turn that ass over and arch your back.”

Y/N turned over and arched her back again. She flexed her neck to look back at him. 

“That’s how I want you. Look back at me while I pop this big ol’ ass on you, girl.”

“Daddy...what did I do to deserve this?” Y/N was scared stiff.

“Making me cum like that, had a nigga stumbling over his words like you’re in charge. I’m in charge. Hear me?”

“Yes.”

Erik’s hand painfully struck Y/N’s ass without warning, “Good girl.”

She instantly screamed. 

“I’m gonna turn you into my trained little slut, do you fucking hear me?”

“Yes!” THWACK, “YES YES!”

THWACK THWACK THWACK.

“Turn your little ass out, make you a slut for this Daddy dick. This is your dick now, slut, this is what you cumming on, okay?!”

“YESS, pleaseeeee.”

THWACK THWACK. Y/N’s legs shook tremendously. She no longer has pain receptors in her ass. She was going numb to his spanking.

“You like my cum on your tits?” THWACK, “Do you like my nut on your tits?”

“Ughhhh yesssss.” 

“Daddy’s pretty little slut. Not a virgin no more, huh? I took that shit didn’t I?”

“Yesssss,” She cried.

“I popped that cherry and took that tight puss. I made that shit mine, am I right?”

“Daddy, yess,” THWACK, “Oh, gosh, Daddy-“

“Does it scare you that I could do anything to you right now? Like, take that puss again? Fuck that puss and make you scream?”

“Oh, Gosh- OH MY GOODNESS!!!” 

Erik’s dick was in her again.

“DADDY!”

“What’s wrong, baby? Finding it hard to focus?”

“Umph! Umph!”

“Yes, moan like that. Yessss, you sound so fucking sexy.”

“AHHHHHH-“ 

You know what’s good? When someone with nice big hands is making you moan while they fuck you but the second you let out a sound they immediately cover your mouth and tell you to…

“Shut up,” Erik commands. 

That’s what’s good. Y/N’s eyes rolled when Erik’s large hand with his thick fingers covered her mouth like that. Bonus points for him because he clapped that ass from the back while still keeping his hand around her mouth and the other in her hair. Now, he was putting his fingers in her mouth to make her suck on. It still kept her quiet anyway. 

Erik leans forward whispering in Y/N’s ear menacingly, “You’re fucking mines, yeah?” Y/N mumbled against his hand, “you’re a messy slut, I can feel you dripping all over me.” 

“Erik...stop,” she spoke with a muffled tone because of his hand. Y/N was done. She came on his dick again. She was afraid by the end of the night she wouldn’t be able to cum anymore. Y/N was definitely a virgin no more. Now that Erik took that pussy, she would be on his dick whenever he wanted.

“THAT'S it, baby. Feel good doesn’t it? Just needed a little more hm?” 

“A-Ah-ahhhhh,” she moaned with a struggle.

“What is it, angel? That made you feel good?”

Y/N nodded her head with a whine.

“What? Like this?” Erik thrust back in and abused her sweet spot, “You’re so goddamn beautiful. Fuck, I’m gonna cum again, girl!”

Two more thrusts in her pussy had Erik pulling out and cumming on her ass now. His dick jumped against her ass. He didn’t even need to jerk it, his hazy eyes just watched his dick jump and spurt out cum covering her ass cheeks and lower back. Erik finally grabs the base of his dick, rubbing the rest of his cum onto her ass. He stood back watching her body slump into the mattress. He was definitely weak and in need of electrolytes to refuel himself. Erik walked to Y/N’s bathroom to retrieve a warm wet rag to wipe her down. It was late as hell and she needed some rest. He would run a bath for her in the morning. He made it back into the room, sitting down on the bed next to Y/N to clean her pussy, ass, and back. As he wiped her pussy, heavy, drawn-out, gurgling noises came from Y/N.

“Wow,” Erik laughs. He laughed so hard his stomach hurt. Y/N was snoring sleep with her mouth hanging wide open. Erik put her to bed. He flips her over to wipe off her breasts. She grumbled and snorted. He forgot how much of a snorer she was. Erik pulled the covers to her bed back, picking her up and laying her in bed. She automatically curled up into a ball, snuggling her face into her silk pillow and reaching out to grab her large teddy bear almost the size of the bed that Erik got her for her birthday. 

“So fucking adorable.” He flicked off her light, pulling the covers back to lay next to her. He snuggled her close to him, his arm reaching over her bare chest to rest on top of the bear. As soon as he closed his eyes, sleep overtook him as well. 

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