#but you ain't about to tell me who I can speak to sir

[respectthepetty]

Wut and Sol said they could give Joe some money out of kindness, and Joe could pay them back whenever.

Ming said he would give Joe whatever he wanted in exchange for Joe's body because Ming is selfish.

Joe taking Ming's deal is the most relatable moment I've had with Joe because I, too, would pick the devil I already know. Mixing finances with friends is always dicey, and he would still owe them. With Ming, it's business and he doesn't have to worry about ruining a friendship. He can hate Ming, but as long as Ming runs him his money, he'll continue to do his job because this is just another stand-in job.

Joe is really saying "sex work is work"

And I respect that.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

duties of the local hotel manager lesbian, plus one very desperate snake man

Sir Pentious: "PLEAAASSSSSE!!!"

Vaggie: "Ugh.” (reading clipboard) “Not now."

Sir Pentious: "PLEASSSE HELP ME!"

Vaggie: "I'm busy."

Sir Pentious: "PLEASSSSe? I will do anything! I, ah, I will do ALL the THINGSSS!!"

Vaggie: "I'm not giving you dance lessons! Do you know what my job here is?"

Sir Pentious: "YES! You are the expert in the loving of women!!"

Vaggie: "I'm hotel manager, and it's one woman singular-"

Vaggie: "Hostia! Let go!"

Sir Pentious: (clinging to her ankles) "I AM BEGGING YOU!"

Vaggie: "And what did I just say? No!"

Sir Pentious: "Help me, purple female! You're my only hope!!"

Vaggie: "Stop calling me that." (starts walks)

Sir Pentious: (still clinging) (getting dragging) "Forgive me! I will call you anything you want, anything you desssire!"

Vaggie: (glaring) (dragging him) "How 'bout my name."

Sir Pentious: "Your... name??"

Vaggie: "That thing I have that no one other than Charlie ever bothers to use-"

Vaggie: -just like the fucking hotel doormat."

Vaggie: "Alright WHO TRACKED BLOOD AND GUTS IN HERE AGAIN!?"

Charlie: (distant) "Not it!"

Sir Pentious: "I'm alssso innocssssent!"

Vaggie: (at charlie)"I know it wasn't you, sweetie! You like the brushy sound the mat makes too much NOT to use it." (at pentious) "And no shit it wasn't you, Pentious. You don't have legs."

Sir Pentious: "And I alwaysss wipe my tail!"

Charlie: "Speaking of wiping, can we add some more disinfectant to the shopping list? I think I'm about to use all ours up..."

Vaggie: "Sure thing. Use it up on what though?"

Charlie: "We-lll..."

Angel Dust: "Hey don't look at me like that, Cheery'O! Not my fault ya walked in without knocking first!"

Charlie: "Angel." (deep breath) "The library is a common area..."

Angel Dust: "Any common area can be a CUMming area if ya jerk at it hard enough~"

Charlie: "VAGGIEEEE! Disinfectant?!"

Vaggie: "On it." (scribbling on clipboard) "No problem."

Sir Pentious: "SSORDID SSSALASCIOUSS SPIDER! Sssee? Aren't I a better guessst than he isss? Perhapss dessserving of one, ssssmall favor?? I do not befoul the hotel with my bedroom bodily fluidsss!"

Vaggie: "No, you just keep blowing holes in it."

Angel Dust: "Ohhhh! Blowing!"

Sir Pentious: "Aha! Not thiss week I haven't!!!"

Charlie: "Angel, not that I don't appreciate the help but, could you maybe not lounge right on the shelf I'm trying to look through-?"

Vaggie: "Really? No major property damage in seven whole days?"

Angel Dust: "I'm finding the perfect book for ya, Charlie chip. Here, look!"

Sir Pentious: "Oh ah, welll, there might be a sssmall hole sssomewhere.."

Charlie: "...you know Moby Dick is about a whale, right?"

Vaggie: "I guess it's still improvement."

Angel Dust: "And gaaaaaay shit yeah."

Charlie: "I'm kinda looking for a bedtime story..."

Sir Pentious: "Improvement yes exsssactly! Jussst has my DANSSCING could be improved!"

Angel Dust: "Two dudes share a bed an' everything in this and ya share one with Vaggity Fair. Perfect fit, I tell ya."

Vaggie: (groaning) "Not this again...."

Charlie: "...I guess.. she does like nautical things like ships..."

Charlie: ".. hey why are some pages stuck together OH ANGEL DUST EW!"

Angel Dust: "That's a five star review right there ain't it?"

Charlie: "I mean I GUESS so but UGH!"

Vaggie: "Charlie? Content warning for the book- the whale kills Ahab at the end."

Charlie: "He WHAT!? No!"

(thump)

Charlie: "BUT- but they're FRIENDS! BESTIES!"

Vaggie: "Not when your dad isn't reading the story sweetie, sorry."

Charlie: "Nooooooo...!"

Angel Dust: "Eh, nothin' some porn without plot fic can't fix. You can be the whale mermaid, V Gal can be the broody crazy ship captain, an' by the third paragraph someone's getting harpooned reeeeeal good and deeep-"

Charlie: "Stop helping me, please."

Angel Dust: "Nah. I'm too booored. Ya place is booooring, Charlie chip."

Sir Pentious: "I disssagreee! WHOLEHEARTEDLY!"

Charlie: "Thanks, Pen!"

Sir Pentious: "YOU ARE MOSSST WELCOME!"

Sir Pentious: (stares up at vaggie hopefully) (tail wagging)

Vaggie: "Pentious...." (sigh)

Vaggie: "Look. How the fuck do you even expect me to teach you dancing stuff when all you have is a tail? Do I look like I know how to do tail dances?"

Sir Pentious: "I DO NOT KNOW! I have no expertissssse in dancssssing! That issss why I sssso dessssperately require your help, oh wissssse and fearful hotel manager!!"

Vaggie: "Still not my name."

Sir Pentious: "PLEEEEEEEEESE-"

Vaggie: "Hold that thought. TO THE OTHER NON-CHARLIE IDIOTS LIVING HERE! Why won't you use the fucking doormat? What the fuck kind of first impression are you trying to make the hotel have!?"

Husk: (slumped over bar) "If we were aiming for a fucking honest impression, we'd need more blood and shit in this place."

Niffty: "Ooooh~" (puts two bugs and some ice in cocktail shaker and shakes) "Blooood."

Husk: "Case in fucking point you little creep."

Niffty: (GIGGLES)

Sir Pentious: "I! I think thisss isss a fine and upssstanding essstablissshment!!"

Husk: "Then you're a dumbass."

Sir Pentious: (HISS) "Ssslander! I DO NOT EVEN HAVE AN ASSSS!"

Vaggie: "Ignore him. Go back to sleeping off the hangover, Husk. You're still shit company right now."

Husk: (grumbles) (curls up under wing)

Niffty: (drapes washcloth over him and pulls out needle) "Blooood..?"

Vaggie: "No Niffty, whoever did this should deal with it this time. You go, uhhh- go catch and juice some more cockroaches or something-"

Angel Dust: "DID YA SAY JUICY COCK-"

Vaggie: "ROACHES YOU MORON! Bugs! Small unsexy creepy crawlies! And so help me you'd BETTER be unsexily helping Charlie decontaminate the library or I sWEAR-!"

Vaggie: "Wait I know those stupid dancing shoe tracks- maldita sea-!"

Vaggie: "ALASTOR!"

Alastor: (oozing from shadows) "Yeeees~?"

Vaggie: "These your shoe marks?"

Alastor: "Indeed they are! And I am TOUCHED you know me so well!"

Vaggie: "Wipe your feet next time. Or do I need to grab you by the scruff of your neck and rub your face in the mess you've made?"

Alastor: "Oh that won't be necessary my dear, even if you WERE capable of it!"

Vaggie: "So you know how to use a doormat?"

Alastor: "Of course~ I am QUITE skilled-"

Vaggie: "Great. Then wipe your feet."

Alastor: "..Now?"

Vaggie: "Now."

Alastor: "......"

Sir Pentious: (tugging at his pants leg) "Do asss sssshe ssasys, pleasse! I need her in a good mood!"

Alastor: "Hm..."

Alastor: (steps out of each and onto the mat) (whips shoes)

Alastor: "Satisfied?"

Vaggie: "Getting there. Now clean up your mess before Niffty has to."

Alastor: "Oh I wouldn't want to DEPRIVE her! All that fresh blood and viscera? You know how much she adores-"

Vaggie: "Then she can go out and clean the streets of hell in her free time for all I care but in this hotel she is not gonna waste her time picking up after you just because you can't be bothered to show her, or the HOTEL, a little fucking respect. You clean this up. Got it?"

Alastor: "You know, my dear." (shadows looming) "I'm not entirely certain you yourself 'get' wHo you ArE tALkINg TO....."

Sir Pentious: "AHHH!" (cowers behind vaggie) "SSSAVE ME MOTH WOMAN!"

Vaggie: (at alastor) "Ohh. Terrifying."

Vaggie: (at pentious) "Also not my name."

Vaggie: (at charlie) "Charlie!"

Charlie: (distracted) "Listen to Vaggie, Alastor! She's hotel manager for a reason- Oh EW what oh shit-"

(cRASH)

Vaggie: "Babe?"

Charlie: "I'm okay, I'm fine!!! We didn't need that glass cabinet anyway, not after what Angel Dust did all over it yesterday!"

Angel Dust: "SIX TIMES bab-y!"

Vaggie: "I don't want to know." (points at alastor) "You heard her."

Alastor: "I.. did."

Vaggie: "Then get cleaning."

Alastor: (sweeping bow as shadows start cleaning) "My pleasure my dear! Anything to stave off the inevitable FAILURE of this quaint little venture and so prolong your DAILY SUFFERING~"

Vaggie: (checking clipboard) "Uh-huh whatever."

Vaggie: (heads for door) (stops)

Vaggie: "Pentious. Let. GO."

Sir Pentious: "But-! Danssscing???"

Vaggie: "No."

Sir Pentious: (wailing) "Mercy, spear wielder! Take pity on meeeee!!!!!"

Vaggie: "Spear wielder? Seriously? Are you allergic to my name?"

Sir Pentious: "H-how could anyone be have an adverssse reaction to ssssomething sssso marvelousss ass-"

Vaggie: (crosses arms) "Then say it."

Sir Pentious: "Errr..... it???"

Vaggie: "My name."

Sir Pentious: "Oh! OH YESSS your NAME of coursssse!! Which issss lovely, but ah. Ah- that would be too- it would be too INFORMAL! Yesss! I am not worthy!"

Vaggie: "You don't know what my name is do you."

Sir Pentious: "I DO!!! Obviousssly!!"

Vaggie: "Then say it."

Sir Pentious: "Um..."

Vaggie: "Say my name, one time, and I'll pencil you in later for dancing tips."

Sir Pentious: "......that'ssss very.. generoussss... yesss, thank you...."

Sir Pentious: "...Erm...."

Sir Pentious: "....Miss... Morningsstar'ssss mate?"

Husk: (SNORTS)

Alastor: "Well I DO suppose that one COULD say~"

Vaggie: "I'm leaving." (pries pentious off) "Don't follow me."

Sir Pentious: "AH NO! NO I KNOW IT!!! Your name isss- VAGELISS!"

Vaggie: "Charlie? I'm heading out now, okay babe?"

Sir Pentious: "V- VIGILANTY???"

Charlie: "Okay! Love you, kissing you, missing you already! Be safe!!"

Sir Pentious: "VIRGINA! No ah, no wait-"

Vaggie: (blows kiss in charlie's direction) "Love you too sweetie~"

Sir Pentious: "You are VIRGINITY!!!!"

Husk: "HA."

Angel Dust: "Is she?!"

Charlie: "Noooope!"

Vaggie: "My name's a lot less ironic than that. Life didn't shit on me that hard." (heading out the door)

Sir Pentious: "NooooOOOOO!" (wiggling after her)

Sir Pentious: "Sssweet lesssbian, ssspare me! I would be on my kneesss if I had any! SSCION OF SSSSSAPPHO I IMPORE YOU- APHRODITE HASSS SSSTRIKEN ME WITH LONGING FOR A PYROTECHNIC HAZZZARD!!!!"

Vaggie: (stops)

A bug: (scurries by frantically) (pursued by cackling niffy)

Vaggie: "...you know Sappho's stuff?"

Sir Pentious: "Yesss? Ssshe isss, one of the greatessst loversss of women in hissstory! Asss a fellow lover of women, I admire her greatly!!"

Charlie: "Oh my dad- my dad and mom did to!!! Neat!"

Vaggie: "Hmm. I... guess..."

Sir Pentious: (eyes huge) "You, guesssss..?"

Vaggie: "Fine. I'll trade help with the shopping bags for a couple of dance lessons tonight. Fair?"

Sir Pentious: "Yess? YESSS! Mossst fair!" (claps hands) "MINIONS-!"

Vaggie: "No minions. You want the lessons you carry the bags."

Sir Pentious: "Ma'am!" (salutes) "My noodlessssque armsss are at your sssservissce!"

Vaggie: "I guess they're also gonna be what we mainly focus on in dancing."

Sir Pentious: "Oh- isss the bag carrying, for practicess then??"

Vaggie: (flexing shoulders) (wincing) "Uh, sure."

Sir Pentious: "P-practicesss for dipping my dansssce partner, or for getting dipped???"

Vaggie: "Whatever floats your boat. Ship. Whatever."

Sir Pentious: "Then I sssshall do my besst! Anything for HER!!"

Vaggie: "That's the woman-loving spirit."

Sir Pentious: "Ssssweet victory ssshall be mine at lassst! By the way, what ISSS your name?"

Vaggie: "You were close. It's very gay."

Sir Pentious: "You are miss Very Gay???"

Vaggie: "These days? Yeah. I sure am."

[honeipie]

HOCKEY BOYS

part 2; izuku midoryia x fem!reader

synopsis: the captain of japan’s hockey team has his eye on the coach’s daughter

( the smaller font is gonna be a flashback! )

izuku midoryia, the black heron. people never really know what they are, and that’s what adds to his un-expecting nature. the black heron is most known for its unique methods for catching prey. the bird forms its wings to look like an umbrella, keeping out light from under them. the fish then mindlessly assume that this is shelter, some sort of safe haven. that is until the heron strikes, making sure that nothing is left behind.

he never wanted to get into any fights. if he had participated in one it’s likely because he had been roped into it trying to get katsuki out.

there were two reasons he didn't feel the need to fight. one, he just wasn't raised that way. if inko knew that he was picking any fight he could get she would drag him out of the rink by his ear. and the second was you.

"i don't like seeing you get hurt izu. especially when it's because of someone else" you had snuck back into the locker room once all of the players, plus your dad, had went home. the first aid kit sat by your side because he didn't let anybody else tend to him. he had said he was fine, but you weren't just going to let him go on in his current state.

"i know, i'm sorry" he mumbled under his breath, almost embarrassed that you had to see him this way "i just wanted to pull kacchan out of there. you know how he can be"

you placed a band aid on his cheek before placing your hand over it "i know you worry about him, but sometimes it's okay to let him fight his own battles. how will he learn if he never gets a chance?" his eyes gazed into yours and finally gave in. he let out a sigh leaning his head more into your hand.

"you're right. i'm sorry again"

you giggled at the sight of him. practically melting into you with the most apologetic tone. leaning in you placed a soft peck on his lips "it's okay my love. you're just trying to be the best captain you can be"

the kiss left him with a giddy smile on his face. he just loved you so much. it's not like he didn't want to make your relationship known to the world, he did. it's just your father was the problem.

yes, he was an amazing coach and mentor, but he played no games when it came to you. and yes, the two of you were both adults and could do what you wanted. it’s just that both of you knew that the news would probably piss him off for the rest of the season.

it really all started at one of the first practices you had attended, denki decided that it would be a bright idea to discuss just how attractive you were in the locker room.

"i mean did you even see her? she's gorgeous!"

sero chuckled grabbing his jersey "gorgeous, yeah, but she's the coach's kid, so messing with her is some dangerous game you're playing"

denki shrugged with a smirk on his face "i ain't afraid of a challenge" the locker room went silent after that comment. denki lifted his head up with a raised eyebrow "c'mon you can't tell me that you wouldn't want to get with her!"

"get with who exactly?"

the voice made denki's blood run cold. he gulped silently as he turned in his spot. he came face to face with your father who did not look happy. arms crossed, he took another step closer to him.

"get with who?"

“i- nobody-“

“i should shove you against these lockers right now. don’t ever speak of my daughter like that again do you hear me?” he looked up making sure to make eye contact with every single player in that room “this goes out for everyone. if one of you even thinks about getting with her then breakin’ her heart i swear i’ll make your career living hell. do you understand?”

a bunch of yes sir’s could be heard around the room. it was right on time, because you had just made your way into the locker room but with your back turned.

“everyone is decent right? i don’t wanna see anyone’s junk”

“you’re fine y/n” your dad shook his head as you turned around with a smile. in your hand you held a plate of cookies with labels on some of them “sweetheart, why would you bring those everyone’s on a strict diet”

you rolled your eyes taking off the plastic wrap “dad i know. that’s why i made the healthier cookies not the regular ones. they have flaxseed, bananas, oats, stuff like that!” you looked around the room with a happy smile “does anybody want one?”

the team looked down at the plate of cookies, then at you father. he nodded in approval which made them cheer in approval. you went around the locker room handing them each a cookie. when you got to izuku it was like the world stopped for a moment. freckles scattered across his face, and shifting when he went to smile.

his smile.

it was one of those things that you would never get tired of.

you’ve had a crush on him for a while, but had only seen him on television or from a distance. when your father said you could help out at the rink you’ve never been faster to agree.

“y/n?”

the sound of your name quickly pulled you from your daydreaming. izuku had been calling your name growing concerned each time you didn’t answer.

“sorry! i zoned out for a second there”

the smile made its way back onto his face hearing you were okay “good, i just wanted to know what the options were”

you explained everything that you had and he ended up taking one of the more plain cookies. deciding it was now or never, you made some conversation.

“you’re the captain right? how’s captaining?” what a smooth talker you were.

he chuckled a bit at your question “yeah, i am. captaining has been good. just hoping i can lead my guys to victory, y’know?”

you nodded along ready to leave before you embarrassed yourself any more, but there was one more thing you had to say.

“you’re doing great. the way you encourage your teammates and bring them all together is really inspiring. you can even tell the difference in the way they’re playing. just keep doing what you’re doing” with a smile you walked off going to hand off the last of your cookies.

red, everything was red. izuku had to turn his whole body just to make sure your father didn’t see the way he was blushing. the compliments you gave him were like cupid’s arrows to the heart.

katsuki stood next to him watching the whole interaction go down. with a shake of his head he sighed “you’re in fuckin’ trouble”

you had been “seeing” each other for a couple of weeks, but decided to make it official about six months ago. both of you being extremely happy and secure in your current relationship, and maybe when the hockey season was over you could really settle.

by the next game, izuku could take the small bandages off his face. there was no pre-game routine the two of you had, you didn’t need one. he knew you were there for him and only him, and you trusted him enough not to do anything. though you did keep a piece of him with you as he played.

usually you would wear a hoodie to games, so underneath you would wear one of his shirts. and don’t think forgot about you. izuku had carved your initials into his favorite hockey stick long ago. you decided on sitting in the box with the players on the bench, just on a separate chair. this game would be a big one, and you could tell by your fathers pacing back and forth.

“they’ve got this dad, don’t worry”

he sat down next to you with a heavy sigh “i know honey. we just can’t have anything go wrong” you gave him a pat on the back as you watched them line up. izuku had took his place with a focused gaze.

he was naturally a fun and playful person, but as soon as he stepped onto that ice, it was go time.

the starting sound rang out and they were off. speeding across the ice like their lives depended on it. you cheered every time a goal was scored making sure izuku could hear you above the others.

they were doing amazing in the first two periods. always up by at least three points. plus not even one fight insinuated from katsuki. it’s in the third period where you saw things start to get a little rocky. izuku was starting to slip. every time a certain player from the opposing team got near him he would miss a shot completely.

your dad whistled for him to come back over to the bench “kid the hell are you doing? get it together before you’re benched for the rest of the game, you hear me?” izuku gave him a silent nod, but you could tell that he was barely listening. you wanted to reach out, to ask what’s wrong, but all you could do was sit back and watch it happen. it was a good minute before izuku was let back on the ice again.

he had seemed to regather himself and was able to shoot a few passes, but once the player came back it all went downhill.

you could see your dad shaking his head out of the corner of your eye “dad maybe it’s just an off day. everybody has them-“

you had looked away for a second.

and when you looked back you saw izuku yelling at one of the players from the other team. the player had shoved him hard which gave izuku an opening. balling up his fists he sent a punch directly to his right cheek, but he didn’t stop there. he made sure to grab his jersey and pull him down to the ground with one hand and still tried to punch him with the other.

the refs finally stopped it when they saw the other guys nose was starting to bleed. two of them just had to pull izuku off the guy. he had been so distracted by what the guy said he didn’t even know he had kept going. you watched as they didn’t even drag him to the penalty box, but off the ice.

he couldn’t even look at you as he walked down the hallway back into the locker rooms.

“what the hell’s gotten into him-“

you didn’t wait for your dad to finish his sentence as you climbed over the small wall and headed down into the locker rooms.

“izu?” you saw him sitting on one of the benches head down and in his hands. there was some room next to him so you sat down gently rubbing his back “baby what happened out there?”

he didn’t talk right away, just trying to get his breathing back under control.

“they were just- just talking a bunch of shit. i didn’t care when they were doing it about me, that’s whatever. but somehow they know about me and you. the only people that really know is the team. i’m not sure how it even got to him”

it finally clicked. how he was playing, how the players kept getting close to him.

“you did it cause they were talking about me? izu you didn’t have to”

he shook his head “no, no i did have to. y/n you’re my girlfriend. if you think i’m gonna let some douchebag insult you when you’re not there to defend yourself then you’re crazy”

“oh izu” you cupped the other side of his cheek going to turn his head to face you. at first he wouldn’t meet your eyes, but it didn’t take long for his to find yours again “i am very thankful that you defended me like that. i would even say it was very, very hot”

this made him laugh, showing the smile you fell in love with.

“what i’m trying to say is thank you” you leaned in giving him a long kiss. when you pulled away you finally noticed the cuts and spot that was definitely going to bruise “i’ll get something to clean you up” you went to turn on the bench but stopped seeing someone standing in the doorway. the two of you stared in shock for a second before you got up “dad don’t do anything stupid”

he walked closer to the two of you, nodding his head towards the other hallway “the first aid kit hasn’t been refilled from the last fight. can you go find someone who can do that for us?”

“dad i don’t think”

“y/n”

“fine” you leaned down to kiss izuku’s cheek, but also whispered in his ear “i’ll be right back”

once you turned the corner, your father sat down next to izuku with a sigh. the green haired male looked down at his hands unsure what to say.

“son-“

“i love your daughter” he blurted out cheeks bright pink from embarrassment “really, really love her. and i know you don’t want anyone from the team dating her-“

“midoryia-“

“no sir, i’m sorry i have to finish this” izuku looked him straight in his eyes a small lump forming in his throat. this could either go amazingly well, or absolutely horrible. your father stared him down for a couple of seconds before nodding that he could continue “thank you sir” after taking a deep breath he went on to start.

“i tried to respect your wishes, i did. but every time i saw her, it was like i was drawn to her. i wanted to make her laugh because i love her laugh. and i wanted to make her smile more than anyone or anything. you raised such a kind, beautiful, and caring daughter that i just- just can’t imagine my life without. sorry if you think this is not manly of me, it’s definitely not how i thought this was going to go. thought i’d puff my chest out and do some big ‘it’s not your choice anyway’ shit but i’m not like that” he shook his head “you’re her father, and i respect that. i wanted to let you know how i really feel, and that she’s in good hands”

your father listened intently to izuku’s lovesick rambling. he noticed the way he smiled when he talked about you. along with some far off look in his eye. probably daydreaming about the future the two of you hold. lifting up a hand he clapped izuku on the back “i appreciate everything you’ve said. and i hope this doesn’t make it any less when i say this but.. i already knew about the two of you. maybe not dating but i could tell from every interaction the two of you had that something was going on”

izuku’s mouth hung open at the news. he just couldn’t believe that he had hid it for this long.

“i trust you. i trust you on the ice, and i trust you with my daughter. you’ve been nothing but good to her. so if you want my blessing you’ve had it for a long time. for what you two are doing now, and any plans you have in the future” with his other hand he tapped one of izuku’s fingers making his face turn a deeper shade of red.

“thank you sir. i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and-“

“thinking about what?” you asked walking into the room with a first aid kit. eyebrows knit together at the sight of your fathers hand on izuku’s shoulder “dad please tell me you didn’t threaten him or something. i’m a grown woman and i think i should be able to be with whoever i want” you’ve been mustering up the courage to say that ever since you’ve retrieved the first aid kit. your father got up heading over to you.

“i agree”

“i can try to see where you’re coming from but- huh?” you stopped your practiced speech when he came over to hug you.

“he’s a good kid, and i can tell he loves you” he placed a gentle kiss at the top of your head “im sorry that i made you feel like you needed to hide this from me. your mother has told me countless times that we need to set boundaries and i never listened, but i am now”

you started to tear up, but quickly blinked them away “thank you dad. that means a lot” a horn sounded meaning that the brake was now over. he stepped away going back into the doorway before turning around.

“midoryia this doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook. you’re out for the rest of the game so get cleaned up” he pointed towards the two of you “but not together”

your face got hot and you grabbed the nearest jacket and threw it at him “get out!” he let out a roaring laugh that echoed through the halls until he was gone. shaking you head you sat next to izuku again “the audacity of that man” you mumbled going to open up the first aid kit but he stopped you.

izuku gently grabbed your one hand placing a kiss to your wrist. this made you giggle but you didn’t pull away “what’s with you?”

he then placed a kiss to the back of your hand “i’m just happy he found out. it’s like a weight lifted off my shoulders” you hummed in agreement.

“so what did you tell him?”

the last kiss was placed on your fingers. the fingers that intertwined with his own. the fingers that held his face every time you wanted his attention. the fingers that soon would be accented with a beautiful wedding ring.

“the truth”

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hello what if in sagau the reader thinking about the idea to make big shelter for tramuatised creatos of alternative tevyat this time reader one night drinking with other archons (of course zero alcohol for nahida only some strawberry jucie or something) and in drunked state reader comes to idea of creating shelter for creators of alternative trvyats the archons thinks that just reader begin drunk.....but no reader is serous and day after the archosn must help reader establish the shelter for goodly victims of the cults and like that zhongli venti ei nahida and foclaors relaized how some of thier alternative version are insane(yandere cult au) or morons( most impostors au)

Oohhh, interesting, interesting...I'll see what I can come up with!

So...You may have had a little too much to drink when you decided to hang out with the archons, and you spilled your idea of wanting to create a shelter for alternate teyvat universes where the Creator gets treated like absolute crap.

At first, the archons present (there's only 5) were shocked—who would dare try and hurt their own creator in their own universe? Then, right after you pass out from alcohol consumption, the archons convince themselves that it was just the drunk-ness speaking and not actually your idea.

Boy, were they wrong when you showed them your latest creation.

Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, Nahida, and Furina Reacting to Reader's Shelter for Other Creators.

(Warning! Might Be OOC & Using the General Sagau!Imposter!AU Stuff For This!)

Venti

Man really thought you were joking. When you weren't, safe to say he wished he wasn't trying to get himself wasted during that time.

He was very cautious not to trouble the residents of the Shelter you created since yk PSTD and all that, even if it is annoying that you spend all your time there and he wants to barge in and drag you out to go and have a drink or two.

He isn't sure how he feels exactly, knowing what the other versions of you went through...so safe to say that he tries his best to keep his distance. He personally finds it awkward, and he tries to excuse himself from the situation whenever you try to invite him to greet the other versions of Creator.

"Ehe, I'm honored, Your Grace, really! Unfortunately, Sir Captain Kaeya promised me a drink today at Angel's Share in trade for my latest song. I can't miss out on that, you know?~" You can barely tell nothing's wrong with how well Venti hides his emotions and tactics on a day-to-day basis.

He may eventually get along with the residents of your Shelter area, but as it stands right now...he's keeping his distance for them to cope.

Zhongli

Same as Venti, he really was not expecting this. Sure, he had only a cup of alcohol unlike a certain drunkard bard he knows, and he had contemplated whether or not you were going to do it...but seeing things and speculating things were two different concepts.

He is polite to the residents that have the courage to come close to him, smiling and politely keeping a good distance while also making sure he is not seen as a threat.

He tries his best not to do anything suspicious—he always makes tea in front of their eyes, the tea leaves freshly picked, dried, and then boiled in hot water. The last thing he wants is for any versions of his creator to pose him as a threat in your world. You especially help reassure others at the Shelter that Zhongli's tea isn't poisoned either, so that's good.

"Fear not—Your Grace has been with me these past few weeks, inspecting my tea before I bring it before you." Zhongli sips his own cup, and you follow suit, grinning because you know for a fact it ain't poisoned one bit. "Please rest easy, knowing you will not be harmed here."

Overall, he becomes this sweet grandpa who tells stories while also respecting other people's boundaries. If ever there is a threat, he's already shielding everyone with his ever-famous geo shield, but that's the furthest he does as you insist you take care of the threats yourself. After all...most versions of the Creator have major PTSD from seeing Zhongli wield his polearm.

Raiden Ei

She feels incredibly guilty, knowing that other versions of her raised their blades against their version of the Almighty Creator than to protect.

She practically froze when you drunkenly mentioned about the other versions of you, and it got Ei thinking how bad it was. Though she was reassured by the other archons present, she now wishes she had followed her gut. She was not prepared to meet the Other Versions of the Creator.

Very similar to Venti, she tries to distance herself. Unlike Venti, however, Ei directly declines your invitations to meet any of the residents at the Creator Shelter, thinking her presence would only do more harm than good. In a sense, she goes back in this similar trance during the Inazuma Archon Quest. While she's present in Inazuma, she doesn't step a foot near the Creators' Shelter.

"I apologize, Your Grace....It is best I tend my duties here instead of meeting the Residents of your protective Shelter. If, however, they ever wish to visit Inazuma, I will ensure they meet no harm whatsoever—and do my duty that which the other versions of me failed to succeed in—to protect them with my blade." Every single time you try to invite Ei, she makes this very long speech similar to this. Ei feels awkward, to say the least. After all, she doesn't know how to deal with emotions...

Though it may be irritating that you can't get her to see them, you respect Ei's wish and openly invite others to Inazuma. Safe to say that Ei keeps her word and does indeed protect the other versions of the Creator with her Misou No Hitotachi.

Nahida

Nahida, Nahida...With the General Imposter!Sagau AU idea, Nahida is the only one of (when there was only 4) the archons available that would not attack you, but would rather help you instead. However, due to unpopular Sagau AU ideas, Nahida is also a part of the team that wants the Creator dead. So, in a sense, Nahida is a 50/50 amongst the residents, but it's safe to say that she's by far the archon most versions of the Creator would approach freely.

When she first heard you talk about the Creators' Shelter and their lives (albeit drunk), she found it both scary yet curious. However, since there was no proof of whether this was true or not, Nahida had turned a blind eye on the possibility for the time being, as it could have just been you drunkenly seeing and knowing things.

She was pretty much half-prepared to meet the Residents of the Creators' Shelter...but at least most of them like her? I mean, they allow her to hug her...that's a good start, right?

"It's okay, Your Grace's Guests! I promise, our world would never hurt you, no matter what!" She tries to use this opportunity to try and have the other versions of the Creator open up to other people—after all, their world of Teyvat was different, and vast! She didn't want them to miss it!

You know Nahida's Skill line, "Everyone Hold Hands!" ? Yeah, she wants everyone to get along and smile and be happy!

I am proud to say that Nahida keeps the Creators' Shelter up-to-date with the stuff happening in your Teyvat while also trying to coax them to meet other people. And she's doing a great job!

Furina

From the very little research I did, it seems that Fontaine's Stance in the Imposter!Sagau AU ideas is more sophisticated—but, if Reader turns out to be "guilty," then that could possibly mean public execution. In this case, with the knowledge gained, Furina's stance in this is the same as her personality likeability: 50/50.

When Furina first heard you talk about it, she thought that this entire thing you were going on about was interesting! She loves herself a good opera, and she would gladly play a role in your show! She just didn't like how it was versions of you from the Imposter!Sagau aus (she's the only one who'd probably remember what you called them and use the same terms), as it makes it hard to really prove to others that Fontaine was the best nation of Teyvat! Not that she wants to flex or anything (she wants to flex)

As it stands right now, Fontaine is pretty new. Most likely only a few recent versions of the Almighty Creator would have some form of PTSD with Fontaine, but most of general residents at the Creators' Shelter are from when Fontaine was yet to be released. This means that many people would cautiously approach Furina to ask what Fontaine would be like, while the very recent versions of you might be more frightened to go near her.

"Ah, yes! Fontaine has the best places to view the grandest and most extravagant buildings you will ever see! If ever you wish to visit, I shall personally escort you to the Nation of Hydro, and we may feast on both the justice we place put, and the opera we present to please! Now, I shall go and ask Your Grace if I may bring you Desserts from Fontaine—toodle-loo~" Furina gladly lets the other versions of the Creator see her enigmatic personality, not afraid to present herself as she usually does.

However dramatic and ever-flamboyant she may be, Furina isn't stupid. She can see wariness and suspicion seeping in to some of the most recent Imposter!Sagau yous, so she immediately yet cleanly makes sure she takes her leave, her curtain call with a promise to return in the near future.

She's probably the second-most visiting archon the Creators' Shelter sees, but Furina's visits are always short. At least she brings desserts from Fontaine to share with everyone!

And we're done! Boy, this took longer than expected...I hope you guys enjoyed it, though!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I have not been keeping up with what's going on in the Sagau Genshin Community, so Furina's bit may be very off on what is actually going on in the general Sagau Community. Sorry on that part.

I was originally tempted to try and do my own interpretation of Fontaine's stance in the Sagau!Imposter category, as they are known for their justice and love of good plot story. If you think about it, Fontaine might be more intrigued with the idea than be heavily offensive about it—after all, Fontaine loves their opera. I vetoed the idea though bc this request needed a focus on the generic stance of an Imposter!Sagau Au so I scrolled through a few posts to see what others were up to.

But yeah, I'm alive! I honestly love how like—no one has made the "sagau furina" tag yet and I had to make it myself LOL. Man, I've really been dead on Tumblr, huh?

If you're still on the radar for The Lost Shining God of Celestia, don't worry—it's not being cancelled. I'm still on hiatus due to writer's block (it only has two paragraphs im sobbing at my inactivity), but I'll get there eventually! Sorry for testing you patience lol—

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[reidholic]

i ain't gotta tell him (i think he knows)

pairing: spencer reid x reader

wordcount: 1.4k

summary: sometimes, you take things a little too literally. this can be both a blessing and a curse. in terms of your first meeting with spencer reid, you're not sure what to call it.

notes: based on the prompt "give me Spencer Reid telling reader, who is very literal about most things, its safer to kiss on the lips than to shake hands while introducing themselves at the Bureau for his first day and Spencer gets so surprised when he does kiss him." the reader is not gendered specifically in the actual piece, though (no pronouns or gendered anatomical language), so read as you please! this is also my first reader-insert so if you could give me some feedback, i'd appreciate it greatly :)

read on ao3

“And here’s your desk,” Agent Hotchner finishes, stopping at an unoccupied seat, the only unoccupied seat, within a quad. Two of the three taken spaces are void of their people at the moment, but at the seat across from yours, you can just see the top of a head, bent over in concentration, peeking out from over the divider between the two workspaces.

“Got it,” you nod, setting down your armload of things. “Thank you, sir.”

Hotchner dips his chin in acknowledgement, and although he doesn’t smile, his voice isn’t unkind when he tells you, “You’re welcome. I’m happy to have you here with us, and I think I speak for my whole team when I say that we’re looking forward to seeing what you bring to the table.”

“Speaking of the rest of the team,” you start hesitantly before he turns to leave. He pauses, raising an eyebrow as he waits for you to finish. “Will I get a chance to meet them before our first case? I’m hoping to at least introduce myself before we see any dead bodies, no matter how interesting a first meeting that would make.” You wince and watch Agent Hotchner’s face carefully. The joke had just slipped out—you tend to run your mouth when you’re nervous, but the unit chief doesn’t seem to be the kind of person to appreciate your impulsive wit. 

To your relief, you aren’t kicked out of the building. You allow yourself a brief, silent exhale of the breath you’d been holding—you had not wanted a repeat of The Incident of 2006. Instead, your boss looks at you for a moment, considering, before his gaze flicks away to something behind you. “I’m sure you’ll see them around soon enough. In the meantime, why don’t you and Agent Reid get acquainted?”

Ah. So not something—someone. Agent Hotchner had been referring to the owner of the head you had seen a few moments earlier. The person in question doesn’t seem to have noticed that his boss is looking at him expectantly. He’s still bent down over something that you can’t see, deep in his own world. 

The unit chief clears his throat. “Reid?” he says again pointedly. Finally, the other man manages to tear himself away from his work, gaze leaving the papers he’s been writing on a split second after his head.

“Yeah?” he answers absentmindedly, eyes finally making their way up to see who’d been calling him. He’s young, mid-twenties at most, and lean, not built like many of the men you’ve worked with in the past. Curly chestnut hair sweeps across his forehead, a couple of the unruly strands sticking out at the nape of his neck. You resolutely ignore the urge to finger-comb the fluffy-looking locks. That would be absolutely inappropriate and more than unprofessional.

His eyes, the color of earl gray tea that’s been steeped until it’s just on the darker side, are warm when they lock on yours. He looks down hurriedly, hands twisting in his lap seemingly unconsciously. “Oh, hello. I assume you’re the new recruit? I’m Reid. Doctor Reid.” He’s speaking fast, clearly stumbling a little bit. “Um. Well, you don’t have to call me doctor. Agent Reid is fine. Or—or just Reid! Spencer Reid. Yeah, that’s me.” He looks up at you again for a second, an anxious twist to his mouth, and you feel simultaneously endeared and empathetic. You’ve been in his position all too many times before, tripping over your own words in front of a new acquaintance. In fact, you’d done that just this morning when you’d come face-to-face with Agent Hotchner, nearly dropping your box of things as you stammered out a greeting. In your defense, the man was intimidating. That was probably why he made such a good FBI agent.

Anyway, that’s beside the point. You smile at him, trying to put him at ease as you introduce yourself, giving Agent (Doctor?) Reid your name and holding out a hand over the divider. He’s stood up as well over the course of your short conversation so that the two of you are about a foot and a half apart, and you notice that he has a couple inches on you. It isn’t surprising—he looks the long and lanky type. 

However, Dr. Spencer Reid decidedly does not take your proffered hand, instead looking down at it, held in between the two of you, like you’ve just offered him a whole stick of butter. Not disgusted, per se, but hesitant and doubtful, like he’s figuring out how to politely reject the metaphorical dairy product. You lick your lips, a nervous tic. You’ve never been great at meeting new people, and this doesn’t seem to be heading in the right direction. With your luck, you’ve just made a grievous error in the Unspoken Code of Social Interaction and now your new colleague will never want to speak to you again.

Agent Reid clears his throat uncomfortably, bringing you out of your despairing rumination. Your hand is still hovering uncertainly in the space between the two of you. “Actually, did you know that the number of pathogens passed through a mere handshake is astonishing?” Evidently, he’s a hand-talker—his long-fingered hands have been brought up together, gesturing vaguely as he speaks to you.

“Um,” you put in, but he plows on.

“It’s technically safer to kiss someone,” he finishes, glancing at you again to see your reaction.

Oh. You furrow your eyebrows. Well, it’s not a conventional greeting, but to each their own. Hopefully this will make up for whatever faux pas you’ve committed. Shrugging internally, you step forward and press your mouth to Dr. Reid’s, eyes falling half-lidded. 

His lips are slightly chapped and taste faintly of coffee. You keep your tongue firmly to yourself—after all, this is just a greeting—but after half a second you realize that his mouth is hanging open, not to receive the kiss, but agape with shock. 

What?

Wait a minute. A terrible realization dawns on you and you stumble backward, breaking the very much one-sided kiss. Agent Reid—Spencer—is staring at you, doe eyes wide and face abloom with a fiery blush. 

You lick your lips again, but this time, you can taste the fading memory of your colleague’s mouth. Your voice is faint when you manage to speak again, low and husky with embarrassment. “Um. It just occurred to me that I may have taken that a little too literally.”

A wolf whistle breaks the stunned silence that ensues, and you whip your head around, feeling your face heat up. 

“First day here and you’re already pulling moves on our resident genius. Who would’ve guessed?” A group of three other people have just arrived in the bullpen: a muscular Black man, a blonde woman, and a woman dressed sharply in a dark-blue blazer. Fuck, you think, but the man, the one who’d spoken, is grinning gleefully as his eyes dart between you and your new…acquaintance. The two women behind him wear expressions of shock, amusement and disbelief warring on their faces. 

The dark-haired one raises an eyebrow. “Is that what the young people are doing these days? And here I was thinking I was still hip and cool.”

“It’s—it’s not—,” you stammer, not daring to look at Spencer.

“Welcome aboard, agent,” the man says, striding across the room. He looks you up and down, assessing you, before sticking out a hand. “I’d prefer a handshake, if that’s alright with you. My name’s Derek Morgan.”

Trying to regain your composure, you take his hand and let him shake it once, twice, in a firm grip. Unable to resist, you shoot a glance back at Reid. The other man is still standing stock-still where you’d left him, but he’s touching his lips with the fingertips of his right hand like he’s trying to ground himself. There’s no disgust or anger in his face; on the contrary, there’s a look of dizzy surprise, and somehow, he seems almost…pleased. Uncertainly so, but unless you’re mistaken, there’s a glimmer of delight in those big brown eyes.

It’s not real, you tell yourself, trying to focus on introducing yourself to Agents Morgan, Prentiss, and Jareau. You’re imagining things. That was completely unacceptable and you must apologize as soon as possible. 

But you can’t suppress the warmth bubbling up within your ribcage when you think back to Dr. Reid’s face when you’d stepped away, flushed and dazed, the way his head had cocked ever so slightly like a confused puppy.

Maybe you hadn’t made a complete mess of your first meeting with Spencer Reid after all.

[weebsinstash]

Okay but AU where Miguel is an alpha and reader is normal but they still give off the smell of being in heat before their period or just once a month so poor Miguel has to struggle with an oblivious reader whose just going around saying hi to people like they’re not a walking talking advertisement for sex

Reader: what do you mean 'I probably shouldn't go near Miguel right now? I thought he looked like he had a headache earlier so I got him some of those empanadas he likes from the cafeteria and some migraine tea

Peter B, not sure how he can tell you without sounding like an absolute freak that his friend is an Alpha and can smell that you're ovulating right now and if you go near Miguel when you're like this you could end up pregnant: beeeeecaaaussssse, Mayday misses you! Yeah, come hold my baby and come this way and hang with us and definitely NOT to Miguel's office!

(Lmao Miguel just checking security feeds by coincidence and, ugh, double whammy combo, he sees you holding the baby, in his eyes looking like the CUTEST potential mom, and he's just like "well, if she gets pregnant it's God's will 🙏". 'Poke holes in the condoms' girl he doesnt OWN condoms and he tells you up front, on his shit like "we're married, this is what married couples do". Or it's like. Kinda like with superman lol, where Miguel's altered not completely human DNA skirts around the spermacide in condoms that's formulated for humans so he might knock you up unintentionally but once it's on the way he wont let you get rid of it and he's actually so excited)

He overhears another Alpha make comments on your body and your scent and you just turn your head to see Miguel holding them by the collar as their little feeties dangle in the air and he's growling at them to "watch who they're speaking about that way" and you're just left ignorant that he's basically strangling the dude cause he was saying the equivalent of "if Y/N doesn't watch out she's gonna end up knocked up" and "hey maybe it'll be me" (no, absolutely not, run laps cadet, the boss ain't happy with ya)

And it works in reverse too! He smells good and you definitely cant help but notice 😩❤️ He stands just a little too close to you one day and you can smell this kind of masculine musk, I feel like he's kind of like too lowkey a recluse holing himself up to wear men's cologne but he's also like kind of an older man so just like, the thought of him having the scented pomade for his hair and you smell things like his deodorant and body wash when he's too close and it all smells very much you know Male but in a sexy way, the scent of aftershave sticking to him some mornings, coffee on his breath when he points to something on a monitor over your shoulder, just all these sorts of smells to associate with his presence even if you can't pick up the intricacies of his more "biological" components. You're up working late once and you fall asleep in a chair and later on you wake up tucked in on a couch in a break room with a blanket that has a scent on it (to tell other Alphas to back off and let you rest) and you can't help but put your face into it. like, as a young girl I didn't understand but I'm 26 now and there are just some male colognes and just like idk scents where you smell it and it's just like UGH I bet the man who left this is big 😩❤️ if it's not overpowering and you're not used to smelling "dude scents" that shit can be dangerous in the wrong hands

You experience the rare event of Miguel actually sitting down for once (shocking I know) and your desire to help and also your coochie activates when you see him looking kind of tired and run down and like, rubbing his face with a hand and he's got a migraine and here you are, "let me platonically rub your shoulders sir it definitely isn't at least partially because I'm crazy crazy horny for you and something about you kinda lowkey makes me wanna serve you"

Like you reach out and start rubbing his neck and shoulders and he's just so sore and had been working so hard he's like GROANING and shit like 😩 how could I not run my fingers through his hair, how could I SURVIVE if he started doing that shit. I couldn't, he felt your nails lightly drag against his scalp and it sent shivers up his spine and now you're getting your back put on the nearest flat surface while he pulls all your clothes off

"Sorry, but I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."

[storydays]

Hello Rosie! P3

(3rd POV)

*With Charlie*

"Alright, what has you so out of sorts, darlin'?" Rosie asked, letting Charlie into her private room. "You clearly got more on your mind than angels."

"What do you do when someone you love lies to you about who they are?" Charlie sighed, hugging herself. "Romance? My specialty. C'mon, dearie, details, details!" smiled the cannibal. 

"My girlfriend is an exorcist angel...and she never told me." 

"Oh, shit. Quite a secret. How does that make you feel?" 

"Just...angry...because we share everything. Because she always supported me, and my ideas, and now I just don't know whether or not that was more of the lies.." Charlie gasped, eyes wide. "Oh no, that's a horrible thing to think! Do I think that? Yes! N--No? Kinda?" the princess sobbed slightly, feeling overwhelmed in her feelings.

"You said you love this girl?" Rosie asked softly. 

"Yes...or, well, I..yes." Charlie nodded more firmly, knowing she still loves Vaggie. "Aw. Have you ever once doubted that she loves you in return?" Rosie sat next to Charlie, patiently waiting for her repsonse. 

The blonde shook her head no. 

"Well, then what's the problem?" 

"She took part in the very thing we've been working so hard to end. She might've even been the one who killed my brother's ex-fiance!" Charlie's eyes widen at the thought. 

"Well, isn't that silly hotel of yours all about redemption?" 

"Yes?" 

"Perhaps this girl was trying to redeem herself too?" Rosie hummed. "She knows better than anyone that I believe in second chances. Why not tell me?" wondered Charlie.

"It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love. She fucked up, sure, " Rosie smiled brightly, "She's flawed. But hey, who down here isn't? If there's anything I've learned, it's that words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth." 

The demoness' shared a smile. "So, what have her actions said?" Rosie asked, with a knowing smile. 

"That she believes in me and what we're doing. Right now, she's off learning how to protect everything we've worked for..and I can't even pitch my hotel right." Charlie smiled, thinking of the ex angel before groaning at her own actions.  

"Well, how do you normally explain your hotel?"

"By singing," Charlie smiled giving jazz hands before deflating, "but that never works." 

"It will work here, trust me." 

With that promise, they walked back out to the crowd, Alastor offering Charlie his microphone staff, he and Rosie sending the princess soft, encouraging smiles.

*Back at the hotel*

Charlie and Vaggie lead their groups back to the hotel approaching each other. "Looks..like you've had a busy day." Vaggie said, looking over Charlie's shoulder, making Charlie do the same. "You too." 

"Charlie, I--" 

"Hold that thought." Charlie dug in her pocket before holding out a key chain to Vaggie. "Ah! I got you a souvenir from Cannibal Town." The Princess smiled hopefully at Vaggie. 

The ex angel smiled, teary eyed before rushing forward into her girlfriend's waiting arms. "Oh, Charlie." 

Charlie smiled, before eyeing the wings on Vaggie's back. "The wings are new. They look nice," purred the princess, sending Vaggie bedroom eyes, before wrapping an arm around her waist, "C'mon, let's go home."

Together they walked into the hotel, gasping at all the noise and chatter. "Come along, let's put some efforts into these fortifications." Sir Pentious called, leading his Egg Bois. "Yeah, fortify that." Angel called, before turning to see the demonesses. 

"Well, look who decided to show up." Angel smirked, pulling Husk and Pentious into his arms, "We thought we were fightin' ourselves." 

"You're..you're still here?" Vaggie asked in awe, Charlie teary eyed next to her. 

"What? Do you think we were a bunch of pusssssies?" scoffed the snake.

"I just got used to you guys, I ain't findin' no new drinking buddies." Husk smirked. 

"I've named all the stains on the carpet, that one's Fred." giggled Niffty. "Well, looks like we have a lot of work to do." Charlie smiled, holding Vaggie's hand. 

"Wait, why are you all covered in bruises? And where's (Y/N)?" Vaggie asked, looking for her future brother in law. 

"Uh, well.." Angel started before smiling seeing (Y/N) land behind the demonesses. 

"Boo! Bitch asses!" yelled (Y/N), making the two women yell in surprise. The Prince cackled in delight, as the two got a good look at him: He was also covered in bruises, mud and what appeared to be a bloody nose? But he was grinning wildly. 

"Oh, did you put them through your training?" Charlie asked, making her brother grin excitedly. "Fuck yes! And now, they are better warriors then they were a few hours ago. But how'd your day go? I see Carmie and Ro-Ro gave you supplies." (Y/N) started talking fast, before Charlie cut him off. 

"Wait, Carmie and Ro-Ro? You mean Carmilla and Rosie?" 

"No, Char, I said what I said." (Y/N) rolled his eyes before giggling to himself, and talking fast again to Vaggie, who looked so confused. "Yeah, he's been like this since we finished training a few hours ago." Angel chuckled, as he made his way over to his excitable lover, as (Y/N)'s wings and tail moved around excitedly. 

"Yeah, it's the adrenaline. Dad says (Y/N)'s always been like that after fighting in general. He'll crash soon, but it'll help if he is given affection. He's like a cat sometimes." Charlie giggled, thinking of all the times she'd messed with her brother when he was like this.

"All right, Prince-y. Let's get you to bed." Angel scooped up the blond demon, who cuddled close to Angel, still talking. 

"IoveCharlieandVaggieandandHuskandMomandVelvetteandCarmieandNifftyandAlastorandDadandArcherbutArcherdoesn'tlovemeanymorebuthat'sokaybecauseIhavethemostsexypowerbottomloverAngelDustwhoserealnameisAnthonyandfuckthat'shotasfuck.Angelcanwefuck?IwannamakeyoucumsohardValentinoisjustamemory...." 

Everyone looked at each other before laughing what the prince was saying. "Please tell me you're recording this?" Angel asked Charlie as he cackled, holding his (Y/N) closer, as he now played with his own tail, eyes wide in amazement.

"Yep." Charlie grinned, sending it in the group chat. 

"Good night, guys." Angel called, chuckling occasionally, walking upstairs. "Oh, my love, what will I do with you?" the spider asked, as (Y/N) looked up at him with wide eyes. "Marry me?" he asked softly. 

Angel cooed, "Aw, of course I will, bambino."

*End!*

[trippiexlove]

Serendipity - Ch. 6

Story master list

Jey POV

I sat here at this small local coffee shop, waiting for someone who I didn't even want to speak with to arrive.

As I was sitting there waiting, I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and looked into the eyes of a person I haven't seen in over 2 years.

"Hello Jey"

"Candace"

She sat down across from me as I folded my arms, giving her a straight face.

"How are you doing?"

"Cut to the chase Candace, what do you want?"

She looked taken back at what I said, "well is that any way to talk to your child's mother?"

I shook my head at her, "please, you haven't been much of a mother in the last two years, last time I check, when we broke up, you left not only me but Jeyce"

"Jey, you have to understand, I was going through things back then"

"Everybody goes through things Candace, but you left your son and didn’t think twice about it"

"I understand, but I am better now. I want to be apart of my Son's life"

"You've wasted two years, what makes you think you can just up and come back"

"Because I want my family back Joshua!"

"It's too late for that" I stood up and put money down on the table.

"what the hell is that supposed to mean Jey? Do you have another bitch around my child?"

"MY child, even if I did it is my business"

"You can't do this!" I ignored her as I walked out the coffee spot, getting in my car and heading straight home.

I didn't have time to deal with her ass.

I finally made it home, walking in seeing my mom in the kitchen. I went over and gave her a quick hug.

"How did it go?"

"I don't even want to talk about it, where's Jeyce?"

"He's in the game room"

I went into the game room to find Jeyce playing one of my video games.

"What's up son" I went over grabbed the top of his head and kiss the top of it.

"Hey dad" he said without losing focus of the game.

"I was just coming in here to let you know, dinner will be done soon so wrap the game up in a little bit"

"Yes sir"

I left out the game room and went out onto the back patio, taking a seat into one of the chairs. I decided I would call Jimmy and see what he was doing.

It ringed a couple of times until he answered "What's going on little brother"

"Please it is only by a couple minutes"

"Aye that's a couple minutes I was an only child" he joked thinking he was funny.

"Whatever Uce, I was calling to let you know Druitt said we can stay at her crib this Friday since we will be in Orlando."

"You and Druitt been getting real close lately, what's going on with that?"

"I ain't gonna lie, I'm feeling her, just taking this shit slow"

"We too grown to be having crushes, if you want her, I say go get her or somebody else will"

He was making sense. I hate that to admit it.

"Damn I hate that your'e making sense"

"Got to Uce, but I got to go, my wife just walked through the door"

"Tell sis I said what's up"

"Yeet"

*Few Hours Later*

After spending a few hours in my home gym, I quickly took a shower and changed into some shorts and laid down in my bed.

I decided to call Druitt. I hit the FaceTime and it rung for a few moments, and she finally picked up.

"Hey, what's up Main Event"

"Hey ma, what you up to?"

"I just got out the shower, and I am about to get ready to go get dinner with Jade"

I stayed on the phone throughout her whole process of her doing her hair, makeup routine, and now she was putting on her outfit.

"What you think of this outfit?" she did a little 360, doing a pose.

"You trying to look good for me?" I bit my bottom lip as I looked at her, and she blushed.

"Boy bye, ain't nobody checking for you"

"Yeah ok, you look beautiful though"

"Thank you, I need to get going, told Jade I would meet her there"

"I'll see you later on this week"

"Ok, bye Main Event" She gave me her signature smile as she hung up the phone.

* Later on that week *

Druitt POV

I made sure all my guest rooms were cleaned and bathrooms were stocked up, as Jey and his brothers were on their way in town for smackdown tonight.

As I was finishing stocking the snack cabinet, I got a notification on my phone that a car was pulling up. I looked at my cameras and seen the brothers, and to my surprise Trinity hopping out their SUV.

I quickly made my way outside, as everyone was walking up the walkway.

"TRINNY" I ran and hugged her jumping up into her arms.

"DRUUUU, Hey boo"

"Dang, well hello to you too"

I jumped down and turned to the brothers, "sorry hey y'all come on in"

I lead everybody into the house, hearing collective gasps ring out.

"Dang sis, your crib is nice"

"You got all this crib by yourself?"

"Thanks y'all, most of the time my mom comes into town and stays here when I am not home"

I gave everyone a tour, and the boys got really hyped once they seen the game room.

"Sis you got it all" Joseph said as he was looking through the various games.

"Yeah I really made this room for when my brother comes with my mom, I play a few games myself"

"I got to talk to Xavier, and get you on to UpUpDownDown" said Jey

I laughed as I showed everyone where they will be sleeping, then everyone dispersed to their rooms to settle in before having to leave for the arena, leaving me and Jey.

"Well Mr. Main Event, since you just can't bare to sleep without me, I figured you would want to room together"

Jey turned and smirked at me "just say you want me to sleep with you"

"Oh I have another room if you would like" Jey quickly held up his hands.

"I'm just playin with you" I laughed and lead him to my room.

"You can put your stuff in my closet" He quickly put his stuff away.

"You tagging along for smackdown?"

"Yeah I figured I might as well go, hang out backstage" I quickly put on my shoes. Since I was just coming to chill, I just put on a relaxed outfit.

"Yeet" He grabbed his gear bag and we met everyone downstairs. We quickly load the SUV and drove the 30 minutes to the arena.

Once we were there, we greeted everyone and immediately went into the boys locker room. As they got ready, me and Trin decided to go to catering.

We got some food and sat down at an empty table.

"Thank you for letting us stay at your crib, I didn't get to say that earlier"

I shook my head at her, "It's no problem, y'all like family so it is really no issue"

Trin gave me a look, "we could really be family if you and Jey stop playing"

"Ok, I will admit it to you, I am feeling Jey but it is just flirting back and forth" I shrugged my shoulders "If he really wanted me, wouldn't he have made a move by now?"

"No because y'all are both stubborn and don't want to make the first move" I rolled my eyes, "and you know I am right"

"Well as of right now, we are just friends and that is what it is seeming going to be"

We which topics, until we were approached by someone.

"Well I didn't think I would get to see you back on my show" I turned and saw Bayley.

I stood up, getting in her face. "last time I checked, before I was drafted, I ran SmackDown, this was my show"

We stared at each other and then broke into laughter hugging each other.

"How are you Pamela?"

"I am good, better now that I see both my girls" She went over and gave Trin a hug as well. "How are you squirt"

I rolled my eyes as her and Trin laughed, knowing I hated that nickname. "I am doing good, just coming to support y'all since you're in the city"

"Bet, it was good seeing y'all, I need to go to makeup since we the first segment" she gave us a hug as she wave goodbye.

Trin and I finished our lunch and headed back into the boys locker room. Jey was just getting finished taping his hand as we walked in.

We turned on the TV as the show began, with Damage CTRL coming out starting the show. After about 20 minutes, Jimmy and Solo had to go, as Jimmy had a match against LA Knight.

*End of Show- Jey's Dark Match*

Jey was preparing for his Dark Match against Gunther. The brothers pumping him up.

"You got this Uce!" After he did his few little pushups and dapping up his brothers, the production assistant came in telling Jey it was time.

He came over to me and we did our handshake we made up some time ago.

"Go get em' Main Event"

"Yeet!" he handed me his phone as he walked out the door. I put his phone in my back pocket.

We watched Jey's match on a monitor, conversing with each other. That was until I felt a phone vibrate in my pocket, I took it out thinking it was mine.

I soon realized it was Jey's phone and he had a message come through.

Jeyce Mom 😒

"Please Jey, all I want is my family back and be apart of our son's life"

"Whenever you get a chance please call me"

Some many thoughts were running through my mind.

Son?!! Family?!!

Who the hell is Jeyce Mom?!!

I quickly put his phone back in my pocket as I saw the match ended. He came back into the locker room shortly, everyone congratulating him on his match. He came over and I put on a poker face.

"Great match Main Event"

"Thanks ma" I handed his phone back to him and stepped aside to let him get ready so we can head back to my house.

Why wouldn't he tell me he had a son?

Is this Jeyce Mom girl his girlfriend? Has he been flirting with me this whole time and he has a whole family?

I must of been zoned out as Trin nudged my shoulder, "you good girl?"

I turned to her, giving her my best fake smile "yeah Im good"

What do you think Druitt is going to do?

Think she will push Jey away?

Like, Repost & Comment ! What you would like to see happen next?

tag list:

@xbriexx , @tribalchief2112 , @mindairy , @yana3sworld

[sneezypeasy]

*sigh*

Y'know, this really doesn't/shouldn't matter, but as this particular accusation keeps getting thrown at me over and over again - oh fuck it, I'm gonna take the bait this one time and set the record straight once and for all. Honestly my "appetite" in this context is truly not anyone's business (and if you don't care to hear about it this is the one warning you'll get to click away lmao) but I've reached the point where if you really wanna attack my credibility based on who you think I enjoy fantasizing about, I'm gonna throw you a bone and tell you exactly what type that is - cuz as much as I'm sick of the ad hominem attacks the Aussie in me is even more sick of watching them miss so fucking hard. If you're gonna roast me, the least you can do is hit me where it hurts, goddamn it. Get it right or go home you uncooked noodles. Capiche?

When it comes to my taste in men, my "type" is: big, strong, hairy brutes. There, I said it. Give me lumberjacks, give me cavemen, I want my Jason Momoas, I want my Ma Dong-Seoks, I want them broad shoulders and tree-trunk calves and I wanna see those muscles bulge. If a fictional character ever gets me biting my lip at the screen, it's never gonna be a fine-featured pretty boy, it's gonna be a good thick daddy who can take my wrists, pin me against a wall and [--------------------------------‐---sustained bleep sound effect---------------------------------]

1:38-1:51 🤣

Personality wise, I'm a basic bitch who has approximately zero defenses for the "jerk with a heart of gold" stereotype. Gets me every time, without fail. The smooth-talking playboy who flirts with everyone and who could bed anyone he wanted, but who only lets you see him at his deepest, dearest, most vulnerable moments? Sorry, am I supposed to not fall for that shit or something? Well frankly I don't understand how and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If he happens to be built like a fortress on top of that? Yeah, I'm done. Have me bathed and brought to your tent, sir, please and thank you.

I admit, it's rare that a character with the physique I like also has that heartbreaker personality I'm a sucker for. Guys in fiction are usually strong and mean or they make up for their lighter frames with silver tongues and barbed promises - rarely do writers create a character who's stacked with both brains and brawn, so to speak. Makes sense though, as while irl people can max out any combination of stats that they put effort towards - in fiction a character who's too good at too many different attributes can come across unbalanced or Gary Stu-ish and will fail to resonate with audiences unless the writer really knows what they're doing.

That being said, there really isn't any character in ATLA who fits my type - either of them, actually. There are some bit characters like Chit Sang who get close in terms of physical build - but Chit Sang has very gaunt, angular facial features that I'm really not a fan of and tbh, while I get that I can't expect all my big buff boys to also be masters of wit and cunning and charm, being dumber than a box of rocks does seal it for me, sorry. In terms of personality, I guess the closest character would be Jet, and he's cool and all but yeah, the whole "would go as far as killing kids" thing makes him a bit of a hard sell for me too. (And yes, it's worth questioning the writers' choices to create him with those flaws to begin with but look, that's a discussion for another day 😂)

All this to say, if you wanna tease me about coveting fictional characters and allowing thirst to cloud my judgment - COME AT ME BOYS. But not with Zuko, for fuck's sake. The character that makes sneezy.exe blue-screen ain't him. It's actually the late great Carthaginian General Hannibal Barca, the man the myth the legend may he Rest in Peace if anyone's seriously wondering. Look, I do like the scar, and the awkwardness is endearing - he's definitely not ugly or unappealing by any means so please don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to bash him or nothin' - but if I'm being brutally honest, he's not my type! Not physically, not even emotionally. If I ship Zutara, it's because aspects of the ship appeal to me that are unrelated to my personal opinion of Zuko as an object of fantasy, which if you must know (and now you do, congratulations, you're welcome), the kind of boy I do fantasise about when I'm in the mood for that sort of thing could literally and figuratively sweep Zuko off his feet - and then sit on him. In either order.

P.S. While we're on this topic, the character I personally relate to most heavily is not Katara either btw. It's Toph. If you're going to accuse me of bias, questioning my views on Toph would make the most sense for that reason. But really, it's hardly my fault that she's basically the most perfect flawless irreproachable badass in ATLA or practically all of animation as a whole. Come on now. *whistles innocently*

[lauralot89]

"Now, sir, you can go on and arsk me what you want. You'll excoose me refoosin' to talk of perfeshunal subjects afore meals. I gives the wolves and the jackals and the hyenas in all our section their tea afore I begins to arsk them questions."

Did journalists actually used to write out accents phonetically or is Bram Stoker just doing this for fun

That 'ere wolf what we called Bersicker was one of three grey ones that came from Norway to Jamrach's, which we bought off him four years ago.

Charles Jamrach was a real wildlife dealer, most (in)famous for the time when a tiger escaped and grabbed a small child, who survived. This incident is now immortalized with a statue:

You could just do anything back in the day

He 'ad white kid gloves on 'is 'ands, and he pointed out the animiles to me and says: 'Keeper, these wolves seem upset at something.'

Thanks, Dracula, very helpful.

That there man kem over, and blessed but if he didn't put in his hand and stroke the old wolf's ears too!

Dracula is a Disney princess (countess) confirmed

anceterer

it took me like five tries to understand this

"Well then, sir, I accounts for it this way; it seems to me that 'ere wolf escaped—simply because he wanted to get out."

This one ain't been used to fightin' or even to providin' for hisself

Hence why Dracula had to lob him at the window like a basketball

well, then I shouldn't be surprised if the census is one babby the less

How is babby formed? how is babby formed how girl get pragnent

I shall take this cylinder with me, and then I can complete my entry on Lucy's phonograph.

Can't you only record like two minutes of audio on those?

Did you not get my telegram?

GREAT WORK, VAN HELSING

I flew downstairs and returned with it, taking care to smell and taste it, lest it, too, were drugged like the decanter of sherry which I found on the table.

For as much shit as I have deservedly given Jack "Medical Malpractice" Seward, I have to hand it to him, I would never have thought of that

I noticed that Van Helsing tied a soft silk handkerchief round her throat.

Professor, I hate to tell you this, but I think that vampires can bite through silk

I fear to trust those women, even if they would have courage to submit.

why though

"What's the matter with me, anyhow?"

QUINCEY MORRIS MY BELOVED

A brave man's blood is the best thing on this earth when a woman is in trouble. You're a man and no mistake.

Everyone who meets Quincey is immediately in awe, as well they should be

I found Van Helsing with a sheet or two of note-paper in his hand

She wrote all that in two pages? How small is her writing

Do not trouble about it now. Forget it for the present. You shall know and understand it all in good time; but it will be later.

He can't keep getting away with this

What is it that's wrong with her? The Dutchman—and a fine old fellow he is; I can see that—said, that time you two came into the room, that you must have another transfusion of blood, and that both you and he were exhausted. Now I know well that you medical men speak in camera, and that a man must not expect to know what they consult about in private. But this is no common matter, and, whatever it is, I have done my part...I take it that both you and Van Helsing had done already what I did to-day. Is not that so?...if you may tell me without betraying confidence, Arthur was the first, is not that so?...

Quincey is the smartest character in this whole damn book

His very heart was bleeding, and it took all the manhood of him—and there was a royal lot of it, too—to keep him from breaking down.

Everyone's gay for Quincey

Whilst still asleep she took the paper from her breast and tore it in two. Van Helsing stepped over and took the pieces from her. All the same, however, she went on with the action of tearing, as though the material were still in her hands; finally she lifted her hands and opened them as though scattering the fragments.

This is fine.

Van Helsing seemed surprised, and his brows gathered as if in thought, but he said nothing.

The Van Helsing Standard

Letter, Mina Harker to Lucy Westenra (Unopened by her.)

WHY MUST YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY

Mr. Hawkins has died very suddenly.

Oh for fuck's sake, Dracula (yes I know it wasn't him)

Forgive me, dear, if I worry you with my troubles in the midst of your own happiness; but, Lucy dear, I must tell some one, for the strain of keeping up a brave and cheerful appearance to Jonathan tries me, and I have no one here that I can confide in.

I'm dying (Just like Lucy! Heyo!)

[cao-the-dreamer]

Lemme ramble okay I have covid and fucking brain mush gotta get this out but uuuoiguguguggg

Idk why my brain is obsessed with putting fucked up humans in Situations tm with Cybertronians why would we care about humans there are robots right here idk okay just bear with me

There is the Maiden. And then Shockwave. And the Maiden is a human with ugly scars that show her teeth like Two Faces from Nolan's Batman but she ain't gone mad oh not, she just stuck on Cybertron because space mission gone awry on something something and then you have Shockwave (fuck it's tfa I forgot to put the context) who's like super alone cause he's stuck with the robot equivalent of kids and Megatron probably dead while crashed on Earth and he has no way of contacting his comrades and fuck

When you spend so much time pretending your someone else don't you risk forgetting yourself? And like. Shockwave gotta transform sometime even though it's dangerous cause he needs look at the mirror and think "it's me. It wasn't a dream. I am alone but I will continue my mission nonetheless even though nobody picks up the phone cos it's all I have"

And one day he transforms but whoops there is a Minicon in his office wait that's not a minicon it's a fleshy in a space suit oh whatever he gotta kill this thing before it spills the beans

The Maiden let out a scream and there's rushing outside like "Longarm sir are you okay" and Shockwave is like "fuck" and shoots murder daggers at the fleshy but instead of spilling the bean it clings to him and beeps like a poor confused minicon and "oh longarm that poor fella is lost looks like he imprinted on you" and Shockwave is like "what"

And the Maiden just sticks with the shape shifting robot who can and will kill her but she's honestly just a sacrificial Maiden so that's okay he can kill her anytime since he won't do it bc he's xenophobic or something but bc she knows his secret and he knows hers

To him it's like. If I fall I take you with me I tell your secret and the Maiden is like "okay" and asks him about his past and reminds him he's alone but it's good to speak about it

And Shockwave realise this human is insane bc it says yeah you can kill me I wonder if you will keep my bones as a memento but he can be himself with it-- her but sometimes he snaps and reminds her he can kill her with a snap of fingers and she's like

That's okay.

Idk where I'm going with this I just wanted fucked up yet """wholesome""" relationship

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Loumand

Assad was NOT. PLAYING.

Put those village feeders AWAY, sir~! 😍 You look ready to start lactating, omg! Assad NEVER misses a day at the gym!

What happened to y'all being so in sync, fellas?

Armand seems WAY more delusional here than Louis, for once. Which is telling--Armand had long been "failing" to hold onto his coven, and his authority.

Louis reading about Death while his daughter's arguing for her life, I can't.

And this little shrug when Armand punished Claudia, omfg, he is giving weak-willed-mother-who-lets-the-mean-stepfather-run-roughshod-over-her-kids-cuz-the-peen-is-too-good-and-he-pays-all-the-bills.

So we go from Lestat's "the Meat" and Claudia's "Kill Juice" to Armand's "Cattle."

NGL, I'd be pissed if I was the coven, too. How you gon' have this dude sit there not needing to follow the rules, while all of us are stuck wearing clown makeup and having our makers killed cuz of your dumb rules?!

I REALLY like this mutinous angle AMC's using, fleshing out the tension in the coven more, cuz it really makes sense.

I get that Louis would want to be around, but omfg cut the umbilcal already! I agree with the coven: like, WHY are you there exactly? Not even the worst helicopter moms are allowed to sit in class with their kids all day, so wtf? And I agree that Armand needs to draw MUCH thicker lines in the sand. Coven business is coven business--if Louis' not gonna even be allowed to speak up in Claudia's defense, then he shouldn't be there at all. ESPECIALLY if he's gonna flaunt how much he doesn't GAF about their rules--their CULTURE.

Aw crap, you got the homie Estelle mad, too?!

You done effed up, Louis--that's the smile of a psychopath. XD

Oh, he's keeping SOMETHING tight, he ain't lyin! 😜

👀

LOUIS! The ONE time you should've lied, omfg! 🤦 It's called making a UNITED FRONT, ffs!

Louis said Hot Girl Summer--literally.

🔥🕯️ FIRE GIFT LOUIS THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ️‍🕯️🔥

Louis said it only works when he's PISSED OFF, OH LAAAWWWWD!

This bit scared the crap out of me--at first I was like the coven's gonna jump y'all in your skivvies!? 😂 Then I was like wait--was that a crew member?! How did y'all not catch that in post!?

And then it all became clear.

*crosses self* HISSSSS.

CLEARLY it's not "great," when your man's man is throwing shade at your whole setup in Louis' head. 😬 Armand, you're barking up the wrong Rebound Tree, my guy.

The face that launched 1000 undead theatre kids into a blazing inferno. THE Louis of Troy, yaaaas~!

MESSY QUEEN.

🔥 FIRE GIFT LOUIS LFG. ️‍🔥

And this is likely why Louis believes what Armand said about him teaching Lestat the Mind Gift, cuz Armand taught Louis the Fire Gift.

Oh trust, we know you do, Armand. But how much does LOUIS know? 👀 ESPECIALLY when he doesn't go on hunts with y'all.

This can only end well.... 😬😈

AMC knows what they're doing--you knooooow that would've hurt Les to his core, if he knew Lou said ILY to Armand after only 1.5 years, when he (allegedly) never said it once to Lestat in 30. U_U Cuz you don't effing deserve it yet, Lestat! It's no skin off Lou's back to say that to Armand, cuz he's not REALLY giving up anything. He's not joining their stupid coven, and he's fine with them killing him. But Lou admitting that he loves Lestat means he'd have to take accountability for his COMPLICITY in everything that went wrong in his life, and that he chose Lestat over his entire family, his religion, his self respect, his sanity, ALL of it, for some heinous blonde Frenchman, lord have mercy. 😔 It's a hard pill to swallow.

And he's REALLY in the deep end now, if he expects his imaginary (boy)friend to start keeping promises. 🤦

[not-goldy]

Sometimes I wish Jimin stop being so secretive on cam and basically a wallflower. I wish he speaks up more and calls out BS immediately, especially during lives like JK/Tae or Joon does or is it because he doesn't get much wierd comments 🤔. Also stop being so fucking humble.. like sir you are a history maker, everything you release are organic hits, have a huge fanbase, your bdays are celebrated as Christmas day, why tf would you think you don't even deserve a music show win ?????? Own your success and skills please 🤧

And I also wish JK stop being so impulsive, saying and doing absolute dumbest things 🤧 sometimes he sounds like those cocky boys who will say they'll make you come thrice in a row and will climax within 2 seconds lol. He's so cocky; knows he's hot and his impact but at the same time he still don't know what he really needs. So I wish he becomes more mature and get his shit together asap

Maybe if they use share these qualities a bit with each other it will be fine lol. JK sharing some of his cockiness with Jimin so he can go 'yeah that me, Park Jimin' bitches 💅' and Jimin sharing some of his level headness with JK, so he can think before doing and saying some things 🥲

Idk how they are even navigating through their relationship when both are on opposite ends of attitude and lifestyles, like is that even possible ? Won't both parties get sick of each other soon? ... or maybe like you said JK is the freedom Jimin is craving for and Jimin is the leash JK very much needed 🤷‍♀️

Set me free was liberating for me and I think Jungkook too cos he stamped his approval on it like you could tell Jimin frustrates him sometimes with the kill them with kindness vibes he has going on.

And I know Jimin is not a push over too cos there's some really hard core ghettoness buried deep inside his slytherine heart- he is the master of self control cos I'll be getting canceled every second if I were him🥲🥲🥲

I'll be dropping mid night rants talking bout yall could never be me😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hash tag jealous

Hash tag up in your man's arms 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And he lowkey be shading too but we don't talk about that🥲

He's constantly trolling haters posting Jungkook shirtless, leaning on him kissing up on him daring yall to come for Kook if he's your mans💔💔💔💔

This literally him on these streets he eats and wink

Shade is cool Jimin but throw the damn tree too🤣

They are both fascinating.

Oh lord not 2 seconds 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

You is going to hell for that😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not gonna lie, I do enjoy his chaotic character most times. I'm big on diversity. If everyone acted the same way they'd be boring as hell plus I like my BTS a tad crackheads🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

JUNGKOOK'S a vibe. Not many idols like him. He be be tanking on the idol part sometimes- I don't think he even sees or thinks of himself as an idol😭😭🤣🤣

An idol is a whole personna carefully curated to appeal to an audience- when I tell you Jungkook ain't curating shit for no one and to please no one😭😭😭😭😭

Tell him to do aigoo I dare ya🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

Sometimes I just play his memes and sleep. It's the new Netflix and chill for me.

Doesn't take himself too too serious, easy going non judgemental, quirky😭😭😭

And he is very relatable. We all don't say the right things all the time, or do the right things and overthink everything.

Some people don't find that attractive in Idols but I like it. That that I like that

Im a bit of a crack head myself so.... anywho

For an idol, yea perhaps he could be a bit more controlled and polished but not too much cos then he'd lose relatability and seem outta touch.

Frankly I think they are both perfect as they are💀

I wouldn't change much but you are right they both could influence eachother a bit and they do TRUST. 💜

[axailslink]

(Series idea maybe) What if Shuri and Riri were in a relationship and were looking for a third (the reader) just to spice up their sex life. Only for them to slowly want to make her an addition to their actual relationship outside of just sex. It’s like a slow burn type beat idk I hope this made sense 😭

Shuri Udaku and Riri Williams

Shuriri x poc FEM reader

A/n: I love writing for my two wives but this takes the cake because my polyamorous ass feels so included. (Also bruh tell me why there are heels that are like 795 dollars...I would never.) Sadly this will not have that slow burn feeling because I don't want to have to write a part 2 I have plenty of those that need to be done already.

Summary: Shuri and Riri have been looking for something different and you're just the right kind of different.

Snippet from the fic: “ "Riri grabs her hand and shakes it as if to get her point across more "not only can she leave me speechless she put you in your place last night and to top it off she cooking breakfast. If we can't marry her can we at least fuck her again?" ”

Shuri pulls out Riri's seat for her as she sits and Shuri sits across from her. The dinner goes as usual except they just can't keep their eyes off you, the beautiful woman sitting alone in a five-star restaurant. At first, they only speak with their eyes as they stare you up and down Riri's the first to break the silence "she's alone" Shuri nods "she's been alone since we came in...think she's waiting on someone?" Riri stares you up and down taking in everything from your red bottom heels to your black skin tights dress and then to your watch. "I don't like to assume but she is definitely waiting for a sugar daddy...or mommy" Shuri laughs and that catches your attention you glance over at the table next to your own and catch both of their glances. You smile sweetly and sip your drink without letting your gaze leave either one of them for too long. You eye Riri first taking in her form in her dress before smiling and turning your attention to Shuri who's wearing a black suit you smile at them both it's cute short as you return your attention to your drink. Shuri glances at Riri as she thinks out loud "we talked recently about how we wanted something different in the bedroom. I don't know what it is but...she's different." Riri nods as she continues to stare at you but you pay them both no mind as you look over the menu and cross your legs. You can't lie and say you're not wondering what they both look like naked because that's all you're thinking of when a man walks over and smiles at you. "Are you here to take my order?" He just laughs cockily and you immediately get an ick that makes your skin crawl "no" before he can ask his intended question you turn your attention back to your menu "no? I didn't even get to a-" "no" you give this man the most piercing stare and smile "fuck. No" he makes a face of disgust as if he wasn't expecting such words to come from such a beautiful woman's mouth. "You ain't even all th-" you smile and sip your drink when a waiter comes over "sir if you continue bothering customers I'll have to ask to leave" You look at him and think for a moment "no he's fine actually he can have this table could I join another table?" You point to Riri and Shuri "those two and I'd like to pay for their meal" the man smiles politely "I don't think that's possible miss..." You cock your brow and sit up "think? Is it possible or not possible?" He shakes her head "I can make it work would you like me to guide you to your seat?" You shake your head "no thank you." You get up grab your wallet and drink as you make your way to their table with a slow but beautiful walk one that catches the gaze of many including Shuri and Riri. Riri looks over first before looking at Shuri "excuse me ladies do you mind if I sit? I hate being alone you two look like the perfect company." Shuri nods and Riri stutters to get her words out "n-not at all" you smile at her thinking she's cute before turning your attention back to Shuri as you sit in the chair legs crossed revealing the slit that's mid-thigh in your black long dress. you stare Shuri down and smile as you hum

"Shuri Udaku and Riri Williams two geniuses how does that work in bed?" You lean back in your chair glancing at them both "I bet she makes you a moaning mess-" you point to Riri but then turn back to Shuri "or is it the other way around?" Shuri smiles at your interest in their sex life "would you like to find out?" you laugh as you lean back you don't verbally answer instead you stare at Shuri and stir your drink. Riri is staring at you hard right now waiting for an answer waiting for the invite both of them need "well...my house does get cold with the kind of weather we're having. Are you two searching for an invitation?" Riri can't stop the smile that spreads on her face.

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Shuri and Riri are obviously a bit skeptical about you they don't know you but all those worries are tossed out the window when you invite them into your home. As soon as the door is shut and locked you're pulling Shuri by her blazer and Riri by her hand up the stairs behind you. you waste no time when you're finally in your room "I'm a very important woman you will speak of "this" to no one understood?" Shuri raises a brow and Riri nods immediately wishing you will shut up and just kiss her already her wishes are instantly filled when you pull her to you and plant a soft kiss on her lips. you smile while Shuri watches the way Riri folds underneath your touch even one as soft as the one she's just received but the whimper that leaves her lips doesn't go unnoticed. "Riri" Riri nods as she looks at you and you know right now that you have her attention all of it so you finally give her a kiss worth waiting for and it's nothing like the one she recirved a moment ago her hands are quick to roam your body while you're still holding onto Shuri by her blazer keeping her close. Shuri watches intently something like this would usually piss her off but it's doing nothing of the sort it's making her jealous and not in the "get your hands off my girl' jealous more of the "where the fuck is my attention?" When you finally pull away from Riri your eyes stay glued to her for a moment not able to tear them from her not while she's looking up at you the way she is but Shuri tears your gaze from her when her tattooed hand grabs your face firmly. you stare at her loving the way her expression is cold and degrading as she looks at you but you don't just give in you smile at her as you carefully unbutton her blazer "jealousy is a great look on you sadly I enjoy when one waits their turn." your hands pause as her blazer is undone and you pull away turning your attention back to Riri this time she doesn't wait for you to initiate the kiss she instead pulls you to her by your waist and leans up pressing a firm kiss to your lips.

The kiss is long and makes you gasp for air sometime in between she unzips your dress letting it loosen around your figure and you feel Shuri's cold hands gently guide the straps from your shoulders. The dress easily glides down your body and so do Shuri's hands as they trace behind it her hands crawl over your naked chest cupping your breast "your girlfriend is impatient" you mumble as you pull away from Riri. Riri smiles in return "so am I" you watch as Riri gets on her knees in front of you. She carefully grabs your foot taking off the heel while Shuri hooks her fingers into your underwear gently and slowly pulling them down.

you're so used to being the one giving all of the attention to the other when it comes to something so intimate so to be felt up like this is something different it's something you're not used to. you close your eyes as the two fully undress you before leading you to the bed.

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When both Shuri and Riri wake they're met with an empty bed but the smell of food pulls them both downstairs you set a plate of steak and eggs on the island. Your current state has them both wondering what the hell happened to the high and confident y/n they'd met last night? there is no sign of her now as you're standing in your bonnet, undergarments, and fuzzy slippers. "you two hungry?" Shuri and Riri share a glance before Shuri speaks "for breakfast or..?" Riri nods "yeah what she asked" you laugh and shake your head "breakfast."

The two women can't help but ogle at you as you cook them up some breakfast they share a whisper conversation in-between "you know we've got to marry her?" Riri whispers first and Shuri laughs "what?" Riri grabs her hand and shakes it as if to get her point across more "not only can she leave me speechless she put you in your place last night and to top it off she cooking breakfast. If we can't marry her can we at least fuck her again?" Shuri bursts into laughter as you place a plate in front of them both. "I have to leave in about two hours I have a meeting" you mumble as you sit in your plush felt chair with crossed legs and eat. you try not to stare at them but you can feel both of their stares on you already so you glance up "is something wrong with the food?" Both women shake their heads no "no the food is good."

you're finally in the process of getting dressed when Shuri speaks "we've got a flight to catch later and Riri is hellbent on having me ask if you'll join us in Wakanda. I could show you some of the sights Riri wants to show you the lab." you pull your slacks on and smile at her. "Join you? If you want to date me you should make that clear." Riri walks over to stop the strap-measuring contest before it starts "yeah we want to date you" you stare Shuri up and down "I know you want to date me Riri but what about you Shuri? Is that why you want me to visit you in Wakanda?" Shuri smiles as she glances at your lips "I date to marry." Riri watches this little interaction and checks her phone "Oh my God Shuri just say yes she's not giving up." Shuri shushes her as you continue staring at her "you don't have to answer because I want to date you both and like you said I date to marry." Shuri smiles but before she can back up you plant a soft kiss on her lips causing her smile to grow wider she turns around quickly and you laugh at the sudden shyness. Riri rolls her eyes "awn you jealous?" Riri shrugs "I ain't jealous but I mean it is a bit unfair she gets a kiss and I'm just sitting here looking a-" you don't let her finish as you peck her lips softly "we good?" she nods "mhm."

After everyone had had the chance to her dressed you usher both of the women out of your house and lock it up as you're heading towards the car both watch "I'll catch you both at the airport." Shuri smiles and Riri shakes her head as she watches you get in your car "damn." Riri shakes her head and laughs as she starts the car "we should have made her breakfast."

A/n: If yall only knew how old this request was like damn it ain't even funny but I was procrastinating about this one so much. I hate writing Shuriri fics truthfully because there's just too much going on however I love shuriri x reader too much to not write it.

Taglist:

@verachii

@mocha-aya

@shuriszn

@lolas-bunny

@louderfortheback

@lucillele

@shuri-lover

@quintessencewrites

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@ctrl-liah

@trixielwt

@6-noir

@annoyingtidalwavequeen

@atssukoo

@shuri-my-love

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@rxcently

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@shurisbigtoe

@darkangelchronicles

@writesbyriri

@locoforshuri

@mbakuetshurisprincess

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

//Sorry for the sudden silence! I just realized that I missed the blog's anniversary! As of July 30th, i's officially been a year since I first made the ask blog. Thank you to everyone that's been around and has interacted with the characters. It's been a lot of fun and I've loved interacting and talking with all of you!

To kick off another year, have a mini blurb (because I can't write a short story currently and I'm still working on answering asks)// //EDIT: There's officially over a hundred of you??? I don't know what to say other than thank you all so so much!! The blurb will be under a read more since it's so long//

Sun: It's been a year already? It's hard to believe.

Lunar: So much has happened!

Eclipse: I have no idea what they even have planned for me. I'm not even in the actual story yet.

Solar: Ya think any of us know what they're planning?

Eclipse: ...Fair.

Moon: Are you guys coming or what? We're taking a picture.

Poppy: Hold your horses! Some of us are a bit slower than others, friend!

Kill Code: Would you like a hand?

Poppy: *blushes* Oh, no thank you, kind sir! Now bumblebee, straighten out your shirt. The daycare logo is all crooked.

Solar: Thanks, Poppy.

Poppy: You're welcome!

Lunar: It's hard to believe it's been a year. And last year there was only five of us!

Sun: Yeah, ten is definitely a lot more than five. And something tells me that isn't all of us, either.

Lunar Who knows! I like things better now, though. I'm glad we have everyone! We'll, everyone but-

Midnight: Yeah, yeah. Just stick me in the back. I ain't stayin' long. Goddamn stupid-

//Mun God hopes that Midnight is not about to make any sort of derogatory statement towards his Eclipse, let alone Mun God. And certainly not towards Quill.//

/Yeah, what they said! ....Wait, me too??/

//Mun God does not want to discuss this further with Quill.//

/But...ok. *blushes*/

Midnight: I ain't sayin' sh-

//Mun God hates to inform Midnight that they can no longer speak- at least, not until after the photo is taken. Midnight understands, correct??//

Midnight: *glares*

Harvest: Brother, your tie is crooked.

Bloody: Ughhhhh bloody pain and bother! Why need?

Harvest: *chuckles* It's just for a picture, then you can get rid of it. I promise.

Bloody: Don't like.

Harvest: Neither do I, but we can chase squirrels later, if you want.

Bloody: ....

Harvest: I'll throw in the new nylabone I bought you.

Bloody: Ok!

Moon: Geez, how do you even work this thing?

Sun: I think you need to set it up to your internal camera? That way you can take the picture without a timer.

Moon: But then I'll be blinking in the picture.

Sun: Hm...Clip? Any ideas?

Solar: Give it here, I'll do it.

Moon: You don't have to-

Solar: Least I can do. Just lemme work with it.

Lunar: Chip! Can I help?!

Solar: *smiles* Nah, but I appreciate it.

Midnight: *flips him off*

Solar: Uh...why ain't he talkin'?

//Mun God is unsure, it certainly is strange...//

/Melpomene! Be nice!/

//Mun God does not know what Quill means./

/Come on! It's bad enough you won't tell them about-/

Poppy: Ooh! Are we going to talk about when Solar gets-

/Oh! But what about when Eclipse finally realizes-/

//Mun God does not want to silence Quill and Poppy, but Mun God will if that is what it takes to avoid future events being spoiled.//

Poppy: Oops! Sorry, Melpomene!

//.....It is alright.//

/Aw, you're soft!/

//Mun God wants Quill to shut up.//

Kill Code: Eclipse. Perhaps it would help if you-

Eclipse: What?

Solar: What?

Kill Code: Apologies, I was talking to Solar.

Eclipse: *scoffs, rolls his eyes* Of course you were.

Kill Code: Son, I do not mean to slight you.

Eclipse: Whatever.

Solar: 'Clipse? You wanna help me with this? I don't know what I'm doin'.

Eclipse: *straightens up with a smile* 'Course you don't. Dumbass.

Solar: *smiles and hands him the camera* Least I can see what I'm doin'.

Eclipse: What's that supposed to-

Solar: *smirks* Kinda hard ta see when yer close ta the ground.

Eclipse: You son of a-

Poppy: I wish I was in my physical form...I was hoping I could hug Sol.

/I'm sorry...maybe when we do an ask event in the future? Maybe we could do one where we go back in time when you and Solar were still sharing a body?/

Poppy: *smiles gently* I would like that, thank you!

/We'll see!/

Midnight: *growls*

Kill Code: *picks him up by the hook* So you are the one who hurt Solar...*snarls*

Midnight: *stares in fear*

Solar: 'S alright, KC. Mun God has 'im on a leash. He can't talk.

Kill Code: Is that so? Well, then it is the perfect opportunity for me to say what needs said-

Eclipse: Gods, Moon. Could you have gotten a more complicated camera?

Moon: Blame Fazbear! It's the only one I could find!

Eclipse: Christ on a stick....Finally! Alright. Everyone gather around, it's time. I'm not doing this more than once.

Sun: Ok, ok, Lunar stand here, then Moon, Solar go between me and the twins, Eclipse by Lunar in the front, KC in the back, Poppy with KC, Midnight...

Midnight: *glares where Kill Code is still holding him*

Sun: ...Stay there. Perfect.

Eclipse: I'm doing one countdown. Blink now or forever hold your peace. Ten-

Sun: Nine!

Moon: Eight.

Lunar: Seven!

Bloody: Six!

Harvest: Five!

Solar: Four.

Poppy: Three!

Kill Code: Two.

Midnight:

Thank you for one year!

[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

Varney the Vampire, Chapter 18: Talk Shit Get Hit

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The bell at the gate continues to ring wildly until George, annoyed, goes to answer it. It's Admiral Bell and Jack Pringle! They're here to see Charles, but they're very bad at explaining themselves and George is already pissed off.

While the three of them argue, Jack Pringle spots a commotion some distance away, which turns out to be Varney and Marchdale having an argument. Suddenly, Varney bitchslaps Marchdale in the face, and he falls to the ground.

Varney runs off, and Marchdale returns to the others. The Admiral and Jack reintroduce themselves in obnoxiously nautical fashion. Charles and Henry show up, and Charles is surprised to see his uncle. He promises to give him a full explanation once he's gotten permission from Henry to do so.

The narrative now goes on hold to explain Charles' situation in more detail. Charles has an inheritance waiting for when he turns 22; however, since the age of discretion (financial independence, I assume) is 21, his lawyer advised him to take a 2-year vacation in Europe to avoid being preyed on by money-lenders. This plan hit a snag when he met Flora while on his vacation, and fell for her so hard that he was unable to resist returning to England a little early to see her.

Charles meets with Henry, who grants him permission to tell Admiral Bell everything. He also asks Henry how Flora's doing; Henry replies that she's doing better, but could use something to distract her from The Horrors. Charles pulls a random short story out of his backpack and gives it to Henry to give to Flora.

Not much happens in this chapter; it's about two thirds sailor speak by volume. I'll skip right to the good part, which is MARCHDALE GETTING PUNCHED

HELL YEAH GET HIS ASS

Marchdale confirms for us another of Varney's precious few supernatural characteristics:

"I threatened to follow him, but he struck me to the earth as easily as I could a child. His strength is superhuman."

He can't lizard climb or shapeshift, but he sure can throw a punch.

The Admiral and Jack proceed to give Marchdale about the cartooniest introduction they can possibly muster:

"Oh, you may know my name as soon as you like," cried the admiral. "The enemies of old England know it, and I don't care if all the world knows it. I'm old Admiral Bell, something of a hulk now, but still able to head a quarter-deck if there was any need to do so." "Ay, ay," cried Jack, and taking from his pocket a boatswain's whistle, he blew a blast so long, and loud, and shrill, that George was fain to cover his ears with his hands to shut out the brain-piercing, and, to him unusual sound.

Jack Pringle's relationship to the Admiral is sort of clarified, sort of not? I for one am going to be gleefully misinterpreting the "not exactly a servant" line.

"Come in, sir," said George, "I will conduct you to Mr. Holland. I presume this is your servant?" "Why, not exactly. That's Jack Pringle, he was my boatswain, you see, and now he's a kind o' something betwixt and between. Not exactly a servant."

In another moment of surprising quality, I really like the first interaction between Charles and his uncle. The dynamic between them is a lot of fun.

"Your uncle!" said Henry. "Yes, as good a hearted a man as ever drew breath, and yet, withal, as full of prejudices, and as ignorant of life, as a child." Without waiting for any reply from Henry, Charles Holland rushed forward, and seizing his uncle by the hand, he cried, in tones of genuine affection,— "Uncle, dear uncle, how came you to find me out?" "Charley, my boy," cried the old man, "bless you; I mean, confound your d——d impudence; you rascal, I'm glad to see you; no, I ain't, you young mutineer. What do you mean by it, you ugly, ill-looking, d——d fine fellow—my dear boy. Oh, you infernal scoundrel." All this was accompanied by a shaking of the hand, which was enough to dislocate anybody's shoulder, and which Charles was compelled to bear as well as he could.

The banter between these two is delightful. Charles is less of a cartoon character than his uncle, and talks and acts accordingly, and the resulting conversational clash is incredibly entertaining.

"And here you see Admiral Bell, my most worthy, but rather eccentric uncle." "Confound your impudence." "What brought him here I cannot tell; but he is a brave officer, and a gentleman." "None of your nonsense," said the admiral.

The story now goes on hold in order to clarify what the deal is with Charles' two-year vacation.

A very few words will suffice to explain the precise position in which Charles Holland was.

By "a very few words" he means about 600, for the record.

Charles' little backstory is rather contrived and not very interesting. It's one of those details where, had the author not brought it up, I would not have bothered to ask. It does clue us into one thing: Charles is set to be loaded in the near future.

Charles goes to ask Henry's permission to tell his uncle about all the vampire drama, which is frankly unnecessary because Henry already said he could earlier when Admiral Bell was being introduced. The real purpose of their meeting, however, is for Charles to give Henry this random manuscript he happens to have on him, so Flora can read it as a distraction from her troubles. Why all the fuss about this? Haha. Well. We shall see.

Next: Varney the Vampire will return after this short break