#but yknow what matters is everyone followed their heart

[lemurblog]

Which of the three Madagascar movies is your favorite and why? And if you don't have one, without hesitation you would see it if you had to choose from the 3 (I think you get the point)

I love this ask because it accounts for my unending equal love for all three films. Madagascar 1 gets seniority, it's been in my life since I was a kid. It's instantly hilarious and iconic, unique and sincere, and I appreciate it more as an adult. The whole world revolves around when Marty says "I'm not leaving without you." I love the eclectic quality with penguins and lemurs as separate groups. Everybody was onto something, and critics don't even APPRECIATE IT!

Now my only criticism: as a kid, it fell flat during the fossa climax. I thought it was.. lame. 😔 This makes me love 3 for how it treats the external drama with enthusiasm and epic heights.

Mada3 as an older teen got me into mada as a fandom, which is the reason I watched ahkj when it came out, which was a life sentence of Clover in my heart furever. I love how it escalates the passion and hold-nothing-backness of 1-2 while paying off what I love about them, so I get the joy of all three in one package. I love the hundred different set pieces. each stage has a separate energy so it's like a new film every 15 mins. The journey is SO fresh, and that was really needed. it's awesome to see the world open up after the zoosters kept getting stranded. and a good ending is rlly important, so I treasure the incredible zoo return.

I understand some people prefer the zooster-interior stories of 1 & 2, but I think the new characters are appropriate. Mada1 is the peak zooster character story, and in Mada3 they externalize what they've learned onto new characters so we see how far they've come. It helps that I LOVE the new characters. Another thing is I adore how 3 makes it so the zoosters are finally connected to the world around them. they're such outsiders everywhere they go in 1 & 2. They had no concept of their place in the world, just to each other. Through the circus, they're connected with other animals, and at last with humans too, the way Alex always imagined.

tldr: 1 and 3 are my fav for different reasons, but I'll choose 3 as my ONE CHANCE TO SEE favorite. I was in love the minute i saw that trailer and dubois put her lipstick on

[sugar-omi]

been thinking about mc and cove who broke up after step 3 (prolly bc mc moved out of state) and they're finally meeting back up in person during step4 and its like "holy shit i still like you"

thoughts?

you're making my heart ACHE. but i do have a response for you now even if it's a bit lame LOL

yknow how in step 4, where if you play through step 1-3 on indifferent or fond, and switch to crush at step 4 and cove breaks down n confesses to you on your way back to your moms house from the beach

or even if you confess/kiss him in the car!

but he says something like, you used to just be a neighbor or his best friend and suddenly those feelings changed and he didn't know what to do...

I think he'd feel the same now.

he's loved you so deeply most his life, it kills him when you decide to break up because you're moving out of state and can't see the relationship holding up.

kills him even more if you're dating or mention someone asking you out during those 5 years between step 3 n 4.

he couldn't just stop loving you, and even so. there's not really anyone else for him. you're his soulmate. or well.. was.

and even if you and cove have minimal contact during those 5 years, I think he's still just as obsessed with you as the day you left. his feelings are the same as before you broke up with him, under the wound of his broken heart that is

when he sees you again, he feels that same feeling from when he saw you on poppy hill for the first time. feels like his world is changing again, like some storm is going to swoop him up and take him away.

you've always had that power over him. you keep, kept.. his mind and heart racing, itching for every new day ahead of him if it meant you would be at the end of it.

doesn't matter if you're shy or not adventurous, you just gave him such a zest for life, and you made the days seem brighter. happier. you made him happy

can't help but be a bit of a fumbling fool when he sees you again. awkwardly says hi, stumbling over words and trying to make eye contact but somehow you've gotten more attractive. which.. makes sense, you're not teens anymore, puberty and growth spurts are over. but fuck did his chest always feel like this?

if you've gotten more confident, no matter how much or how little, he's in awe of you. and when you talk about what you've been up to, he's so proud of you and happy for you. tries to ignore the aches in his chest, wishing he was there with you during all this.

of course, before I forget, cove isn't just a lovesick fool. really. he's bitter about the breakup, because it's just a state.. and he'd be so happy to follow you, just not right now. maybe in a year, or less, no more than 2! so why couldn't you have tried it out, and if you crashed and burned then fine, but at least you did it.

and the negative part of him, that you saw at the end of step 3, tells him he knew it wouldn't last. that the second one or both of you stepped away from this town, your relationship would unravel.

always tries to ignore it. and when he's more reasonable, and he's brave enough to think so, he thinks that it was good you two broke up because you might not be where you are. again, the negative part tells him you could've done all that with him by your side, and vice versa.

he'd be really awkward for awhile. I think it'd take another year or two for him to open up to the idea of dating you again.

you changed. he changed. you're not stumbling teens, finding you way through the new world of adulthood and figuring out who you are. you're 25 and older, you've done a lot of growing in that time in many ways.

there's new things about you he likes, and old things he still likes. but of course there's still old things he doesn't like, maybe even new things he doesn't like about you.

not that your new/old habits are enough to repulse him, everyone has their quirks and such. he's sure you've found the same in him.

and then your lifestyle... if you're to date again, you two have to find your way to fit into each other's lifestyles.

you've developed new hobbies, started jobs that take more or less attention and effort, you have animals, etc.

your lives have been built around yourselves. will he still fit into yours?

when you finally do confess, or he to you, he still says stuff similar to the base game, like I mentioned.

he was so upset when you broke up with him, and he admits he was bitter at times, that he couldn't help but think that why couldn't you just do all that stuff as his partner still, and waited for him to follow you. that, what was so important you had to be single?

but then he thinks about himself, your reasoning, and he understands that maybe it was the best for him. or what you thought was the best anyway. and that, maybe he wouldn't be on certain spots if it wasn't for how things went.

but he still wishes he had spent all these years as your boyfriend still, that he never had to wake up and see the other side of his bed empty.

never had to see your last text was days. months.. maybe even years ago.

but goes on about how when he saw you again, he couldn't help but love you just like before. maybe even more than back then. that he admires who you are now, and finds so much love and admiration in adult you's new traits and hobbies and such.

if you wait for him to confess, he'd go on to say that he understands if you're not attracted to him anymore, he just has to tell you.

I think if you broke up with him, especially in step 3, cove would end up cold. becomes a bit like his step 1 self, just.. well with the angst but with the ability to deal with it.

he thinks he's become even lamer than when he was younger, even if he was reserved (cold) back then too. but the breakup really just refines him earlier, than if you waited another 15-20 years.

I suppose you could say, that if you went the breakup route, he's be smart and 'cold'

is very happy that you wanna try again. treats it like you've never dated before, which technically, you haven't. he may of learned your new quirks and habits as an adult, but he hasn't learned if you've changed as a partner, and the same is for him

tries to communicate with you if any problems arise, because even if he's more mature, he's still desperately, hopelessly in love with you and would hate to fail twice.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

I like ur takes and I just wanted to share some stuff from another side. I watched spop as I was in my teen years, incredibly sheltered, queer, and lashing out because I was also dealing with abusive family dynamics. So… yeah I shipped it. I idealized it. And I heavily identified with Catra. But unlike with Zuko(who I also identify with) Catra didn’t change.

Every time she’d travel to a new part of the world I thought omg her moment is coming! Escape!! But she’d just get into a slap fight with Adora and then go back to the Horde. It was so strange it felt like every other character was in a story progression show and Catra was the villain of an episodic show until s5

And s5 was…. Weird. I don’t understand how Catra has a change of heart by getting more hurt by Horde Prime. She was getting hurt the whole series??? I still cried and was elated at the series finale but only bc I wanted an Adora who’d forgive me and love me and say I wasn’t bad. And I think a lot of people are like that.

Everything about the way Catra is framed points to her redemption even in the first episode… but it just makes me feel insulted now. To me as a survivor… it’s like they waved a magic wand and killed off the abuser and gave Catra a gf and that was supposed to fix it. It doesn’t work like that. My abuser died and it made things WORSE for a while (I think it would especially damage someone like Adora since Shadow Weaver “sacrificed” herself and therefore can’t be bad ever) . And I’m not looking for hyper realism in a Princess cartoon but at the time I watched it I couldn’t have really used yknow ?? Some guidance??? Something that wasn’t a fantasy lala ending that once the initial high wore off left me feeling confused and hollow. There is nothing in spop that teaches you how to get that kind of happy ending. Especially if you’re Catra who just says I love you and is suddenly resurrecting ponytail Jesus. To the me who identified with her, it was mostly about wanting to FEEL redeemed through her. FEELING strong and badass and GOOD and like things would be okay even if I was never a princess type. The actual result was feeling like I would never attain a happy ending of any sort because Catra’s didn’t feel real and her “arc” had no footsteps to follow in. How do you make a kids show and not teach good lessons??? Idk the show bad no matter who you identified with was my whole point.

At least I had/have zuko.

Also shipping zuko x sokka x suki is based I do too lmao.

first off, i'm so sorry about all the trauma you went through. i hope you are healing now, and thank you for sharing your story.

secondly, i think this is what a lot of fans felt. i can understand that people relate to catra. hell, even i relate to her a little. i know what it's like to be considered useless and weak, and to desperately want validation from a parent. i get it. when i say i dislike catra, it's not because she's a traumatized child or even because she adopted many of the toxic habits that shadow weaver portrayed. it's that she faced no consequences for any of this.

as much as spop tried to be mature, in the end, it was really childish. s5 got rid of all the complexity and just went "everyone deserves forgiveness", ignoring all of the glaring issues it had yet to solve. the protagonists forgave catra because the writers wanted them to, not because that's how it would have went down in real life.

most spop critics aren't heartless monsters who despise abuse victims, they are people who relate to either catra or adora. and they just want to see a better representation of abuse victims.

it would have been much more fulfilling and satisfying to have catra and adora take some time explore themselves and heal from their trauma, separated from each other. this kind of relationship is harmful for both of them. as long as adora is with catra, she'll continue blaming herself and putting pressure on herself, feeling as if she was responsible for everyone's problems. and as long as catra stays with adora, she'll continue deflecting her issues and being envious of adora. they needed time away from each other, but spop chose to invalidate trauma instead.

it's a pity that spop was one of the very few representation we had, at the time it came out, so people genuinely believe that c//a is a healthy ship, because they don't have many other examples to compare it to. i'm glad there are more and more queer shows coming out lately, and most of them seem to portray healthy relationships.

[bonesandthebees]

Read the ask from jiksvokrat and DEAR GOD SAME!!!! Literally same!!! I live in a state of constant bee bonesandthebees fic reminders all around me all the time. The same examples you gave and more— my friend in vc mentions they’re gonna be right back to make themselves a london fog? I gasp.

Every single time I went to do laundry I would sit there and go “man if only I had a friend to dance with me here just like that one scene from bee’s fic”.

But beyond that, I was literally playing Lethal Company on a friends stream absolutely terrified. But then I picked up a cookie mould tray and suddenly all my fear vanished because they were star-shaped and for the next 5 minutes any monsters were not of my concern because all both me and my friend could think about was stars.

I come into a new class in college and my Professor starts taking attendance and as I am hearing him list off the names of my classmates I hear him call fucking “Siren”. His name was spelled Cyrun but it didn’t matter because twice a week for the following ten weeks I would get jumpscared because the pronunciation was the exact same.

I can’t even look back at old stuff from a character I made as a kid that I had named “Clara” without being reminded of glass. Even just reading about engravings in other unrelated things make me think about the intricate flower engravings everyone in that fic had for their prosthetics.

There’s so many things both big and small that keep reminding me of your fics, whether it’s long fics or smaller fics— they live in my brain rent free all the same.

awww xima this is so sweet to hear. really makes it feel real just how many people have read and enjoyed my stories. like it's one thing to see numbers on a stats page but when I hear about how little things in your daily life remind you guys of what I've written it just makes it feel so concrete yknow?

(also, lmao at the guy named Cyrun in your class. if that had happened to me when I was in college I would've just about had a heart attack)

[rainecreatesstuff]

ok so the post was made a month ago and i'm sure you've already gotten this ask but what's the symbolism behind the limlife clocks you made?

tbh im low on energy and I wasn’t gonna answer this but then I noticed you’ve got a d20 username and avatar so out of respect for another d20er hanging out in the mcyt fields I will.

anyways

T.I.E.S:

Tango - stopwatch. Lil reference to him running the death games in s1 and 2, also to match his general sense of urgency. Also can be used for red stone timing

Impulse - watch. Simple, practical, but has his own lil flair to it with his logo. Stays on the wrist so he doesn’t have to worry abt other people nabbing it or it getting broken, kinda symbolizes his tendency to play multiple sides to keep himself safe. Also has a day/night cycle, connecting him to Bdubs after double life

Etho - sleek, elegant design. Can be glanced at quickly to see time. Day/night cycle connecting him to Bdubs bc. They cannot be normal about each other. A small sundial bc he’s been around these parts a while and also it just feels like something he would brag about being able to read.

Skizz - forget-me-nots symbolize skizz’s loyalty to his people and his kindness to everyone. Also, as the first to lose a significant amount of time, given as a reminder to. Yknow. Remember him. Cracked after being killed twice by boogeymen in ep 1

Mean Gills:

Martyn - simple, easy to read and glance at, can be clipped to a weapon or tool so he can see it easily, imbued with his status as a follower of the listeners.

Scott - poppy in the middle to symbolize his ties to Jimmy, which keep popping up despite. Everything. A gold heart which is awarded to each of the victors. Scott’s clock originally had chains around it, put there by the Watchers/ higher beings/ whoever to prevent him from messing with his clock, broken immediately bc Scott found them annoying

Nosy Neighbours:

Pearl - locket. Unseen in drawing, but a wolf’s head is carved into the front. Phases of the moon show how much time she has left rather than numbers. A gold heart awarded to each of the victors.

BigB - cookie clock! Lighthearted and fun, shows bigb’s brand a bit, not really intense or complex, showing how bigb tends to be pretty upfront and chill throughout the games

The Clockers:

Cleo - an old clock that matches the aesthetics of the Time Witch from wcsmp. The inner mechanisms are visible to represent how she usually plays with all her cards on the table, and is very upfront with her allegiances and her reasonings etc. elegant and a bit imposing.

Bdubs - a busted-up clock that doesn’t work anymore. Or, well, the inner mechanisms work. It ticks. Nobody can see how much time is left though. Chipped and cracked from the last three games. Blood from first boogey kill.

Scar - an hourglass with a dark oak border. Can’t have a scar clock and not put desert duo in it. Anyways, not only does the sand represent Scar’s permanent ties to the desert, it also is a very clear visual, meaning Scar doesn’t have to worry about accidentally jumbling numbers when reading his time (dyslexia is a bitch)

The Bad Boys:

Joel - Two ruby eyes representing the red that is always in Joel, no matter his colour, as well as acting as a small nod to his wolves in 3rd life. The hands are dagger-shaped, but round at the ends (he is scary but also a wet cat. If you are loyal to him he will not so much as scratch you). Scorched from Bad Boy Actions in ep 1

Jimmy - canary wings going round and round, cyclically. A cage that should open; it has hinges. Jimmy cannot open it yet. (If someone else dies first, he might be able to) also scorched from Bad Boy Actions

Grian - they will not let him forget he is not meant to be there. He has to concentrate to keep his clock at the right time- its hands will spin wildly (sometimes even going backwards, giving him more time) if he doesn’t keep an eye on it. Three hearts to remind him that he created the games. A gold heart awarded to each of the victors. Not shown, but two winged-shapes on hinges close over the clock face to shield it from other’s’ view.

[moonfurthetemmie]

I am legally required to inflict more Supernova on everyone

So I’ve played around with them in the Final Girl Finch ending, and implied some stuff about the Delusional ending.

I also said that Fester would be collateral damage and not survive to watch how all this ends, but I’m going to play with Supernova in Red Sky and a liiittle but more in Delusional

So firstly, Delusional

While I didn’t say anything specifically, the fact that Delusion’s got hearts spinning around his head when he sees Slash (exaggeration) isn’t really changing his goals. The only difference is that now he needs to make absolutely sure that Slash is part of the world he’s trying to build. And Byte, probably. He doesn’t know much about her personally but Pluto and Slash care about her a lot so obviously she needs to stay. But he was planning to try to keep her around anyways for Pluto; he just has extra reason to now.

If he tries brainwash any of them though he’s going to have to do all three of them. Because they’re going to be pissed, and they’re too close to try to do one at a time.

Which means…slash. Slash is getting brainwashed.

And unless something catastrophic happens, she won’t even notice.

But this does also mean it’s much more likely that the Horror Squad will “reform” and join Delusion to help him deal with certain people.

On the bright side, she’s gotten over how pissed she is about liking him? So it’s slightly better?? But mainly just for Delusion.

…oh yeah Hunter still died. slash sees him near byte and in .5 seconds he’s bleeding out on the ground. Byte survives at the cost of one (1) Hunter

yknow they might show Gouge their maze. Tiny detail but they’re going to get to hang out with her more, and all four are going to decide they’re going to be besties.

Also Gouge is told the same lie as everyone else about them reforming, but she takes one look at the squad and calls bullshit. Not in front of anyone who might be very alarmed about it, though.

Anyways gouge is part of the squad. She gets to see the maze. She thinks they’re a bunch of morons for how they themed it, but she does very much like the concept. Every once in a while they decide to have a little fun with their targets and throw them in the maze. Gouge is absolutely terrifying because she just. Walks towards you. Summons her brush. Staring you dead in the eyes.

She’s chase you, for sure. But she’s not so enamored with the thrill of the chase as she is your terror. She wants to see the fear in your eyes when she comes for you.

And you even if you don’t know what she’s actually like, something in the way she’s looking at you tells you that you won’t get the mercy of a swift death.

Sorry I didn’t mean to go off on a Gouge rant. Continuing on to Red Sky Supernova

Fester avoids being collateral damage and manages to recruit the Horror Squad to help them “confront” Delusion. They say something about knocking him down a peg and they are all pretty sure they’ve got something worse in mind than what they’re implying, but they don’t know yet that this 15-year-old is ACTUALLY possessed. They think they’ve just got some funky magic or something. They could keep them in line if they tried to go too far.

Slash thinks she can use this to get Delusion to agree to HER way of making things work. But also they all DO want to knock him down a peg, and Fester’s plan is oddly clever for someone their age.

TL;DR: they cannot keep the demon in line. Delusion and Pluto die. Fester takes over the whole universe and begins their plans to expand.

If Slash doesn’t immediately get herself killed by attacking Fester in a fit of fury, it’s just a matter of time. He had no idea any of them cared about Delusion.

There were some thoughts about Delusion and Pluto being stuck there as ghosts at one point. If they are, Pluto absolutely tells Delusion everything and swears they had no idea Fester was actually going to kill him.

Delusion fortunately believes him. They follow Byte and Slash around and try to get their attention. Slash do NOT GET YOURSELF KILLED

If Slash gets herself killed right away shes DEFINITELY sticking around as a ghost and making Fester’s life as miserable as she can.

On the bright side, she can (maybe) talk to Pluto and Delusion.

On the down side, byte’s all alone. And oh she’s furious. Ohh she’s furious.

50/50 chance she manages to banish him back to hell or just also gets herself killed.

Buuut if she does get killed they’ll at least all be able to cause Fester problems together

like there’s no Good answers here but oh boy are there tasty angst answers

Slash dying and having to face Delusion after she and her friends just got him killed. Oh she’s gonna be so fucked up. This isn’t what she wanted. God, this isn’t what she wanted.

I don’t know if Delusion would be more upset at her if she survives or dies. But I think, while he and Slash have had a history of absolutely despising each other, I don’t think he could take the idea of Pluto wanting to hurt him seriously. Other people, yeah, but not him. So. Slash has that immunity. Because Pluto sure as hell wouldn’t agree to killing him, and if Pluto wasn’t coming, the other two wouldn’t either.

He could 100% believe it if Fester told them they could keep Pluto from dying when they kill Delusion. But Pluto still wouldn’t agree to that. He has trouble imagining Slash would, but it’s much more plausible than Pluto.

but…soft ghosts? Delusion trying to tell her he forgives her as she breaks down over getting two of the three people she loves killed. Slash refusing to let either of them get near Fester, even though they’re dead, because if Fester’s a demon who knows what they could do to ghosts?

pluto and delusion taking turn third wheeling because they’re both very very important to her, just in slightly different ways, and sometimes she and Pluto are being too chaotic for Delusion or Delusion is being sappy with her and Pluto pretends to gag.

Gouge is so confused when she sees them. Mainly the fact that Delusion and Slash are genuinely just chilling with each other. Hardly any animosity. Absolutely not what she would’ve expected.

All the ghosts follow the remaining Horror Squad member(s) around tho. Trying to keep most of the demons at bay, though they can’t do much but look and act threatening.

[newgh0ul]

Madness - Draco Malfoy x Reader - Part Two

Uncertainty riddled my thoughts as I boarded the Hogwarts Express. Hesitancy accented by body language, and slowed down every step I took. Everyone just seemed to know where to go, well...except for the first years. Here I was, older than the first years, looking just as lost and ridiculous.

Wondering down a hall, trying to find somewhere empty to sit, my body collides with someone. I look up, to see a boy with bright red hair standing over me. "Oh, bloody hell, are you alright?" He asks, and stretches out a hand to pull me up. I take his hand, and dust myself off. "Yeah, yeah, my ass broke my fall."

He chuckles, "Are you American?" My face beats up a bit and I awkwardly laugh, "That obvious?" He gives me a small nod. His pale skin can't hide the redness under his cheeks. "I'm Leah, I'm starting my fourth year." I give him my hand, and he eagerly shakes it, maybe a second too long. "Ron, I'm also a fourth year. I don't think I've seen you around here before-"

"I'm a transfer...from Ilvermony." I watch as the gears turn in his head, and he realizes why he's never seen me before. "I take it you don't have anyone to sit with?" He asks.

"What's that supposed to mean, Ron?" I tease.

"I-I just mean that...yknow you probably don't know anyone yet." He struggles through his embarrassment, I think it's sweet. "I was only joking." I tell him. He lets out a sigh of relief, and his shoulders slouch with the weight I've just taken off of him.

"Come sit with me and my friends, then." I take him up on his invite, following him to a carriage on the train.

There sat a boy with messy brown hair that framed his face, and circular glasses resting on his nose. He looked so familiar, but I just couldn't place my finger on it.

Next to him was a girl, with messy ginger hair, and a striking look on her face as I walked in. I wouldn't describe it as pleased, more like...challenged.

"That's Harry, and that's Hermione. This is Leah" He quickly introduced us all. Harry and Hermione looked equally confused as I took a seat, "Ron invited me to sit with you guys, it's nice to meet you." I smiled. The two gave me fake sweet smiles and a forced response.

An awkward tension hung over the carriage, I mostly spoke to Ron who was much more conversational than the other two. Hermione not-so-subtly glared daggers between Ron and I, her eyes peering over the newspaper she read. My aunt was reading the same one just this morning before she took me to King's Cross, but I forgot to ask about it.

'SCENES OF TERROR AT THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP' Headlined the page, hanging over a animated black-and-white photograph. I tried to make out what the picture was, some sort of skull and snake, I believe.

"So...what happened at the quidditch World Cup?" I decided to ask. Hermione lowered the paper, her lips still pursed and eyes steady on me.

"How do you not know? It's everywhere" She replied.

"I've had a busy summer, a little too preoccupied with moving to London."

"Surely you know about the Death Eaters and their attack?" Ron asks me, lowering his voice.

"No...no, I don't." I feel like I've just prodded at a sensitive topic, and even though Hermione and Harry aren't too warm to me, I hope I haven't just ruined my chance at being their friends.

"The Death Eaters attacked some muggles, and started a riot at the World Cup." Harry breaks his silence on the matter. As soon as he's done talking, he looks away, and focuses on the scenery outside of the window. I nod back, even though he's not even looking at me. There are no words that feel right to say right now. The air is suddenly heavy. Even Ron can't hide his look of disdain.

"Excuse me, I'm gonna go use the restroom." I stand to my feet, and exit the carriage. The heavy atmosphere seems to follow me, weighing me down. My heart aches for Ilvermony and for my friends there. I don't want to know any of these people, I don't want to start again. I want to go home. All I can think of is home.

As I reach the bathroom, the door swings open. Out steps a blonde boy, in a black suit. My spiraling stops as I realize he's the same boy from the book store. He stands there, and I decide to make the first move.

"Excuse me, how are these manners for you?" I spit as I shoulder check him as he did to me. Just as I grab the handle to the bathroom, and try to make my way inside, his hand latches around my arm. His grip is tight, and he inches closer to me. I can hear each breath he takes as he squeezes tighter.

"You should know your place, little American girl." He growls and lets go, shoving me back a little. I hit the doorframe and watch as he walks away.

I glance around to see if anyone saw, and to my luck, no one did. I shut the door behind me, and lock it. As soon as I hear the door lock, I start to cry.

I want to go home.

(word count: 920)

(this is being posted on Wattpad under the same name, along as the madness tag on my profile. I’m putting it on ao3 as soon as I get my invite. Enjoy <3)

[barbatos-sama]

i don't think i've even told you part of the big conflict in bloodwood other than th two factions split between who wants to win the game and who doesn't, but basically wyatt and hans are kind of the faces of their respective factions (fun because they happen to be life and death, opposites) and they have so much personal drama going on outside of this but it bleeds into the main conflict so much lol. basically hans was raising wyatt for quite a while after wyatt first arrived there and wyatt got attached to hans; as the first parent figure in his life who treated him normal. wyatt was extremely abused so it was super life changing to have a parental figure who loved him and let him eat as much as he wanted and encouraged his gnc behavior. i decided that despite saying hayden and wyatt have always aged normally that's not really true, actually for a while they remained kids longer than they normally would have, so wyatt spent maybe fourish years being the same age while hans parented him and hayden unconsciously followed suit since your mental mindset can affect your aging there. hayden was never as close to hans as wyatt was because hayden viewed him as this guy trying to replace his own parents, even though his parents weren't perfect he still loved them so he didn't like this rando ass guy trying to play mommy and daddy with him yknow. but he understood why wyatt needed hans, it's just sometimes hayden could see the red flags where wyatt couldn't.

the thing about hans is that while at heart he's a good person, he can be toxic in ways he doesn't realize. i think ive mentioned before that he thinks he knows whats best for other people thus he tries to control them, its out of caring for them but it leaves people feeling like he doesn't want them to have agency. hans is very stubborn and set in his ways, and he's prone to superstition (as someone who's very religious) and he tends to view people (especially children) disobeying him as them straying from gods guidance or whatever the fuck. the reason he remains close to seraphine for so long is because they're both very similar but also after nepha died seraphine became sick and weak, and with hans as her caretaker she doesn't really have Room to disagree with him.

it doesn't help that a twist in the story is that during the reign of a previous death piece, nepha had possessed them (death) into doing a whole thing where they rendered lottie unconscious to use her trust piece powers to influence certain other pieces. that's why you don't tend to see me talking about lottie a lot, she's out of commission for a good chunk of the story. she's locked up tight in a stronghold and nobody can get in, and everyone was led to believe it was of her own volition; the trust piece losing her trust in everyone else and retreating to solitude. lottie's powers were affecting both hans and seraphine, strengthening their beliefs to the point of delusion in favor of nepha, which is why they refused to believe wyatt about nepha being evil no matter what he did to the point of it being kind of ridiculous.

so hans' beliefs are very unshakable and he tends to finds excuses for every little thing to validate them. this is why when hans first finds out that wyatt is the death piece (it took a minute since multiple pieces had recently died so they didn't quite know who was who during that period) it changed how hans viewed wyatt quite a bit. at this point it was basically prophecy that every death piece up until that point had killed at least one person (a lot of this had to do with nepha possessing them to do so, but hans doesn't know this obviously) so he begins to believe wyatt is dangerous and is concerned about it. he's basically waiting for wyatt to become this problem child despite wyatt being nothing but obedient and perfect until this point, wanting to be the perfect child to his new parent. it was around this time that nepha tried to possess wyatt but wyatt severed their connection damning her to the afterlife, so of course wyatt tried to tell hans about this and hans wouldn't believe it at all, both due to his inherent bias towards nepha being so perfect during her life, plus the artificial bias created by lottie's powers. this was hans' sign that wyatt was actually becoming the problem he envisioned him being.

sensing the change in hans' behavior towards him, wyatt begins to become more lax about the way he acts, trying less to impress hans and acting more like himself. wyatt was naturally a very timid and quiet child but as he settled into a """normal""" life free of abuse he started trying less hard to be perfect, starting to disobey hans (the piercings for example). he and hayden start going out into the wilds without permission, which to be fair to hans is super dangerous and stupid of them to do, and hans gets more and more paranoid about this problem child who's getting out of control or whatever.

it's around this time that kimberly's brother (GUESS WHO FORGOT HIS NAME AGAINNNNN LMAOOOOO) arrives in the game and he is hans' new golden child. the thing about hans is that he wants to be a parent so bad but is just so bad at it. every kid he's raised over the years has turned their backs on him (and then died for unrelated reasons) so whenever a new teen comes around he latches onto them and tries to be their new mom. the thing is this guy is Really good at being a golden child, and being the justice piece really boosts his resume. as you know wyatt and this guy don't get along at all and end up fighting, and this boy is Actually dangerous and ends up genuinely trying to kill wyatt. wyatt defends himself and ends up using doom for the first time, burning the kid on his face. this is Super it for hans, his suspicions are confirmed that wyatt is dangerous and scary. he doesn't believe wyatt that it was self defense. this leads wyatt to essentially snap, the innocence of a kid who got away from his abuser and had a happy wholesome few years was gone. he came to the conclusion that adults just could not be trusted and that nobody would accept him for who he is. he and hayden ran away into the wilds and when hans tried following them wyatt had a huge burst of power to open up a chasm in the floor which filled with doom, creating a huge river of doom. it officially symbolized the rift between two factions. it was wyatt's first huge burst like this, something that comes from strong emotion that he can't usually do.

wyatt and hayden survived by themselves out in the wild for a while, this is when they started aging again normally. it was hard because there's demons all over and they couldn't even control their powers yet. it's around this time that the previous time and love pieces (who i haven't named yet) are on their own mission to kill the identity piece, one of bubs' precious "incarnations." it's during this time that bubs is almost animalistic in behavior, drenched in rage and constantly uncontrollably shapeshifting into vile looking creatures. the time and love pieces hunt her like an animal, knowing that they can never achieve the unity needed to win the game if identity can't coexist with them. they've used technology left over by a previous fear piece that bubs had killed just before hayden replaced them. they were cuffs that would cancel out bubs super strength, if they could just lock them on her she would be powerless to fight back and they could finally kill her. they didn't view her as human at this point, more like just another demon to kill. they managed to cut off one of bubs' fingers which forced her back into a humanoid form and stunned her, and they managed to force the cuffs on. she was flailing and fighting and as they were ready to kill her, suddenly doom manifested on the chains of the cuffs which dissolved them allowing bubs to fight back. she killed them both then. (these two would be replaced by xun and kimberly some time after.)

understanding that the death piece had killed her, she knew she had principles hardwired in her that she couldn't shake no matter how many incarnations she'd been through: if you help her she helps you. death had just saved her life so she owed him a debt. wyatt knew this, he'd been reading entries kept by a previous memory piece he'd found in the old city created by first fear. there's a lot of old settlements and structures made by old pieces in the wilds, their area of settlement had really shrunk over the years as more of the powerful ones died off. anyway, wyatt, still only 15 at this point, trembling with fear but jaded by his experiences, told bubs that he knew she made deals and that he needed to make a deal with her. she owed him her life so she would protect him and hayden.

bubs was not thrilled by this one bit, she was still an angry mess and now unable to shapeshift. but over time she allowed hayden to reverse engineer the cuffs. it took a Lot of coaxing and domesticating to get bubs to try on the cuffs of course, but once she finally put one on she found it was pretty nice not accidentally breaking anything she touched. she reluctantly helped hayden and wyatt restore first fear's city and she helped them learn how to use their powers and fight. along the way they met friendly demons who began helping the restoration and populated the village.

hans has a lot of regrets about wyatt and wants to see him sometimes, but never allows himself to truly acknowledge that he was wrong. it's not until lottie's influence is severed that hans begins to have his doubts, although his own natural biases still exist, and he retains his belief that he knows what's best for people and states that bubs was a bad influence on him. a lot of wyatt's personality comes from being raised by bubs, which is partially why he ended up kind of mean and standoffish, along side just being jaded from his experiences both in and outside of the game.

it's kind of a cruel twist of fate that wyatt does end up killing someone fulfilling the prophecy, once again in self defense it's the same guy. by this time lottie's influence has been severed but wyatt is just so angry about the whole thing. he snaps at hans screaming "you've been just waiting and waiting eager for me to kill someone to prove you right, well here it fucking is."

i honestly haven't decided whether or not these two actually ever repair their relationship but i'm thinking no. it's funny that they started out so wholesome while i've been churning this in my head for so many years but ive ruined them like this ajdjd also sorry this got so long i didn't think i would just dump a big story bit on you LMAO this is just part of the current canon i've been rechurning over the last year(?)ish.

[sluckythewizard]

EVERYONE GGET BAAACK IM ABT TO RAMBLE ABOUT FINN TIDESTRIDER. SPOILERS FOR EEVERYTHINGGGG ALL UP TO EP 113 YOU GOTTA RUN!! YOU GOTTA RUN AWAYYYY!!!!

ITS FASCINATING to speak to someone who has lived 80 years. almost every conversation involves me asking about a story of theirs, places theyve been, things theyve done. i feel like ive seen so much in only 20 something years of life, imagine that 4 times over?

all those stories, to have each and every one of them written down i feel like would be a beautiful thing. record keeping, storing that experience in an edible form, preserved for the future generations to study and cherish. imagine how many stories could be collected from not just 80 years of life, but 200? maybe more? imagine?

i LOVE characters that live to observe and document, keeping all their findings and knowledge and memories in tomes and records. i have several ocs that are functionally immortal, owning vast libraries holding all the knowledge of their lives. one of them is a man losing his memory, who has all his most vital memories tattooed onto his arms, so he will never forget what matters. FINN TIDESTRIDER. A MAGICIAN? WIZARD? SCIENTIST MAYBE. RESEARCHER ABSOLUTELY. CHRONICLER. LIBRARIAN. I HAD NO REAL STRUCTURE IN MIND FOR THIS POST. WHICH IS WHY ITLL SHOCK YA WHEN I BRING UP:

SEXUAL REPRESSION UNDER A CORRUPT RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION. MORMONISM AND SOME OTHER JESUS CENTERED RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU THAT YOUR BODY IS A SACRED THING. MASTURBATION IS EVIL, IT CORRUPTS YOUR BODY, WHICH SHOULD BE SAVED FOR MARRIAGE. CELIBACY PRESERVES YOUR BODY, FOR YOUR ONE AND ONLY LIFE PARTNER. SEX IS NOT AN ACTIVITY, IT IS SACRED, RESERVED ONLY FOR PROCREATION.

i dont know if the undersea is Perfectly comparable to religions like that, but it is certainly a culture that upholds a very 'the elders are always right and must be followed'. polygamy is punishable by death, releasing spawn is a natural step after marriage, etc etc, i wouldnt be surprised to find that the undersea has a crazy Purity Culture thing going on. to live your whole long life down there, where so much is forbidden, and finally breaking into the surface world to explore the unknown, who knew your own body would be part of that 'unknown'?

in that episode, in the uh. Book. he says 'his first man was a (shiphand)' or whatever idk i dont feel like relistening. but HIS FIRST MAN!! ur telling me Finn Sexguy Tidestrider wasnt banging dudes down in the undersea?? maybe hes just talkin about his first Human but whateeverrrr. is homophobia a thing in the undersea?? i guess itll be a while before we know.

EITHER WAY. to break free from an oppressive climate and finally having the chance to be sexually free. to finally be familiar with your own body and the bodies of others, to LEARN so much about what makes you and others tick, to experience a unique form of intimacy with another. while having sex is not a VITAL experience, to have the freedom and choice to explore that IS SO IMPORTANT...

sex isnt a disgusting thing, its not wrong and its not naughty its not sinful its not gross. but sex also is not sacred, its not a big important thing, its not vital. sex is JUST an activity. a fun thing to do with ur homies or someone youre close to. there are dangers of course, which is why KNOWLEDGE about it is such an important thing. ohhh my god i constantly have a huge ramble locked n loaded about sexual education but ill GET INTO THAT ANOTHER TIME.

TLDR i reaally like finn tidestrider because TO ME, he is not just a wacky funny old sex-having wizard. hes a man who lived a looong fuckin time under a religious climate that discouraged sexual exploration, and after he left, got to spend decades and decades of being FREE to explore. in MY heart.

i get like, haha funny old man yaoi, the shock of the old guy havin sloppy gay fuck sex, but yknow. i dont expect it but it would be neat i think if this sorta thing would ever be taken seriously and explored.

THE TIDESTRIDERS FASCINATE ME. for finn to say YES i LOVE having SEX all the TIME; and for gill to say NO i am NOT interested in sex EVER.. those are BOTH forms of sexual freedom. its the choice!! THE CHOICE!!!!

[moonlit-trolls]

well... okay i guess, but how long is that going to take : ( what do you do for a workout kheron?

"Depends on you. Food takes a big part on it, doesn't really matter how but you gotta eat good food. Healthy doesn't equal nutricious too don't fall for those 'only eat meat' type deals"

> he nods getting some pen and paper for you to write that shit down

"You Gotta hit the micros and macros, Protein, and so forth those are good for gaining mass, and vitamins and so on are good for maintaining it. but you shouldn't worry about that FOR NOW. maybe in the future. Sounds like a lot but it's super easy: Gotta eat big to get big"

"AS FOR WORKING OUT! WELL you went to the right guy! i do practice a lot for rugby so you'll probably need to get a bit different stuff from me? maybe... anyway."

"My workout sessions are just, broken down into 3 days, Push pull n legs! push i do chest and triceps and hit a bit of shoulders. Pull i do back and biceps, and legs is legs. can't forget em! I think the most basic you could do is Bench, Incline bench and Decline bench for chest. Triceps pushdown and rope push down, And then some abs!"

>- he takes his shirt off to show which muscles are being worked for each exercise

"For back, i like pullups, but not everyone can do them! so the assisted machine is Really Golden for that! For biceps i do hammer and then Concentrated curls which just help out to define the muscles. I like the Scott machine as well"

"And legs... God those are tough, you gotta work front, back inner and outer. as well as the glutes. Most of the leg presses, and then some squats is what i tend to do... and here's a tip, if oyu know how much the person you're into weighs, Do hip thrusts with that weight and send to them as a joke. It's silly and it can just be you sharing your workout if you're friends yknow!

> He's smiling through all of this, ends up putting a hand on your shoulder by the end, and looking into your eyes to say the following

"But that's not gonna work if you're rotten to the core dude, You gotta know that nobody owes you nothin' yknow! Girls guys anything in between they all got their deals and bro maybe it'll break your heart but folks gonna like who they gonna like and that can be not you sometimes. But don't let that shit ruin a solid friendship you had or sumthin like that. Y'gotta be whole in the heart before trying to find someone to kiss my dude. Unless it's just casual stuff, but i cant tell you 'bout that, i don't do casual stuff"

[sunniewrites]

writing?? (maybe not) an explanation to my leave and my official leave

hey guys its sunnie here :) what is up?

first of all, happy holidays and happy new year!!! hope you guys have been having a good time since ive been gone.

my life has been totally crazy since i decided to move to another account (which i am so done with)

for example, i got a boyfriend!! he’s so amazing and i love him sm <3

i started taking better care of my mental health (ignoring how many times ive cried this past week)

im on volleyball team with my amazing teammates and my awesome coaches.

ive met new friends and new people who i love and adore.

there has been so many changes in the past few months that i cannot believe what has happened. im not the same person from 4 months ago and that shows a lot because i have so much room to grow.

now for my writing account.

i love writing yknow? its one of my passions and i cannot believe how i started this account. everyone who has followed me from the start to now is so so so amazing and thank you all for support and believing in me.

i just want to say, i am done with writing on tumblr. no matter what account im on, i dont think ill ever write again on tumblr.

you guys are an amazing community who has done so much for me, i cannot believe how far ive come and i love every single one of you. but, writing on tumblr just isnt my passion anymore.

this place and account will always hold a special place in my heart, the people ive interacted with (no matter if they’re still here or not) are so amazing and you guys have given me so much love.

i love all of my mutuals, you guys are the best part about this app. i will forever remember every single one of you okay? <3

im not deleting this account, but i will be changing it. you guys can still read all of my old posts but i’ll probably js archive this account or make in into just an account for my thoughts.

this is an end to an era, and end to my beautiful 2 years on this app (i think??). i loved every moment, every fanfic, every interaction and just everything in general.

well then my loves, goodbye.

remember this as the day sunniewrites fell, and as the day a new person arises ;)

[phantomdecibel]

Something I noticed is that Polites is like. The most stubborn and Eurylochus is the least.

Granted this could be because Odysseus is the captain so he kinda HAS to let him do what he wants (until mutiny) but still, he’s the least set in his ideals and doesn’t hang onto them quite as strong as the other two. (As proven by him changing his mind during Scylla.)

And also something I noticed is that Polites is the most reasonable person in their trio?? Like people say he’s the himbo and the heart but I’d make the argument that he’s also holding quite a lot of the brain cells. (He trusted the lotus eaters and they didn’t lie. Sure they omitted a detail, but they do also have an actual parasite for a brain. Not to mention, it was probably the only food for a long distance since the lotus eaters were just humans who were probably starving as well.) (contrast this with “Mutiny” Eurylochus and “Darkest moment” Odysseus who were being just completely unhinged.) (granted they did just have to see their friends die and then relive their deaths in gorey detail via underworld shenanigans but I digress!)

I know right!! poli is stubborn and persistent where euryl is much more likely to give in and stop nagging, only euryl is much more /vocal/ about it when he does have something to say, where poli voices his disagreements to odys in private and much more gently (or at least, that’s how it seemed in full speed ahead and open arms; euryl questioned odys outright but dropped it almost immediately while poli waited until they were alone to talk with odys).

Although I’d think that being second in command to odys captain position would come with more liberty to question him; that’s euryls job, to keep the man in power in check and provide a second opinion (although tbh I have. no clue what I’m talking about that’s just what makes sense to me haha–). Too bad poli dies early – I would have liked to see how he would have reacted to odys saying “don’t question me or everyone dies” lmao (I want to say that he would not have stood for that, but we’ll never know *sigh*).

The way I see it, and bear in mind that I haven’t heard all the clips yet haha and Epic is only a fourth of the way finished, euryl has a very… do what is best for the majority, save as many people as possible kind of mindset – and morals don’t necessarily have a place in that when peoples lives are on the line, while poli more has a strict sense of morals that he tries to do his best to follow, though I do think he’d be willing to compromise on them when lives are at stake

I definitely agree that poli seems like the most reasonable out of the three of them but to me in more of a… he seems a bit better adjusted to not being at war kinda way than the other two yknow? Odys n euryl are expecting a fight no matter what, they see the world as more of a kill or be killed kind of situation, where poli seemed to have recognized and come to terms with not being constantly waiting for a fight. He spread tgat a bit to odys before he died, and odys then tries to spread that to euryl. Personally I think they’ve all got a number of braincells – even if odys lost his while giving away his name address and social security number. Odys managed to win a war while keeping every single one of his people alive and while I’m sure he didn’t do it on his own, he had to be using his braincells haha. Maybe they’re just tired from carrying the war–

[smiling-stel]

I've got a similar brainwave touching in on more of how Cale seeks respite from his Record ability

Often in the story it doesn't go into long detail of how Cale rests (that i can remember anyway) except for the instances where he's collapsed, fainted, and unconscious due to "the situation" right.

But there was that one (or two?) Rest periods Cale DID choose by his own will and I assume he follows the same habits for other periods of rest that aren't mentioned as well.

(Mild Novel Spoilers, vauge)

Te one description that stuck so adamantly in my mind was this 6 month period after one of the large wars Cale takes the lead in

(I cant even specify if I wanted to, I only remember the description of the resting habit that followed after cause it was one of the few ever described)

◇ But apparently Cale had slept the majority of his days away. For all 6 months. Easing into the habit, it was described he ate less and less until he only ate a single grape each day. He never locked his doors, but he also never left his room. After a while of sleeping in, he eventually ended staying seated to a rocking chair 24/7 if I remember correctly, one by the window in his room at the Henituse Estate. But it got to a point where even the children nor any of his friends or family could - not that they wanted to use force - but they couldn't pull him away to, yknow- be a living* human being again.

*living as in experiencing life, he's alive but just not active

It was as if he was simply a breathing corpse. His health ofc deteriorated a bit, but he wasn't in pain nor was he suffering. Bc he wouldnt continue if he was.

The vitality ancient power that protects his heart keeps him alive so he just Kept. Sleeping.

...

◇ With all the voices in his head from the powers, and all his proactive handling of matters, and even him not being able to turn off Record - always taking in everything and logging it away in his brain without ever meaning to - it's not a wonder his "rest" is practically him choosing to be comatose.

Esp after everything hes gone through and even everything before that (not going into detail, if u know, u know). Really, its hard to blame him on choosing this method. Its the easiest way to get his brain (which is like a super computer constantly running millions of marathons simultaneously) to shut up and rest.

♤ Which is probably also why the others of his party and everyone who cares for him simply let's him become dormant to such an extent. Because at least its not him fainting on the battlefield after using his powers. Because at least he's not rushing himself around to get something done. Because at least he's home. Because at least he's safe.

Personally, I dont believe that there Wasn't originally some reluctance from his loved ones. Its unheard of to WANT to live like a corpse. But maybe after a while of hearing "yea ill join the dinner table in a moment" or "ill get up and stretch in a second" and Cale pulling himself up to do so (because he keeps his word n never says what he doesn't mean) only to return right to his room after, right to the very spot they tried to get him out of? After a while of that, you simply start to find excuses for that behavior. "Because at least he's not straining himself," "Because at least he's not working," "Be. Cause. At Least Hes Resting..."

♤ They most likely only let him become comatose to rest - even tho he already goes unconscious too many times on-field to even keep count - because its better than any alternative they assume Cale will do otherwise. And perhaps it Is a mix of that and pity thats making them hold their concerns.

---

Ahh I've rambled, but man do I love this guy and his story XD

Anyways its as OP mentions:

"[Sitting on his balcony] His feet hanging, his heart quiet and his gaze fixated on nothingness"

He Does do that. Maybe it is on the balcony or a tree and the story doesn't describe it, but his rest IS just blanking out.

♧ Isn't that pitiful? That the only rest Cale can truely ever get is when he's not awake?

♧ But ofc that doesn't bother him one bit. And no one really wants to tell him not to blank out to the extreme Because how can he rest otherwise? (♤)

... how bittersweet imo

What if Cale had a habit of wandering to high balconies or roof tops and just sitting there whenever he was stressed/sad?

See it this way: Kim Rok Soo had the habit of roaming around destroyed buildings and finding a high spot and just sitting there? Perhaps he liked seeing the horizon. Or maybe he wanted to see how far the destroyed area stretched to. Or maybe he thought of it as his responsibility to look out for anyone injured, who may still be looking for help. Either way, it brought him peace, some sort of serenity and quietness.

So anyways, as Cale, after the conflicts with White Star started, his habit involuntarily reappeared. He would frequently go on roof tops, sometimes a tall tree or just sit upon the balustrade of his balcony. His feet hanging, his heart quiet and his gaze fixated on nothingness.

And now imagine someone, maybe Raon or Ron, catching him sitting on the edge of the balcony with a blank face. Then the panic, the chaos, and maybe Cale lost his footing because of the startling shout, and he fell down before balancing himself mid-air thanks to the wind ap.

Now imagine him trying to explain that it was just on a whim, that he has no intentions of hurting himself, but the children keep on sobbing and his family hang their heads down with despairing eyes, and now Cale feels helpless.

And maybe he feels a pang of guilt, because sometimes, just sometimes, he had a fleeting thought, a nonsensical urge to jump off, not to hurt himself, like he hated pain more than anything, and of course, living was the best, but there was the curiosity to see how it would feel, first the amazement, then the numbness, and finally the quietness of his Records.

It's only a thought, he convinced himself. But that didn't stop his habit, the worrying gazes of his family and their watchful eyes on Cale, and the relentless explanations that would follow, with Cale always failing to convince them that he is fine.

[staybabblingbaby]

Let's talk about writing for a minute

I've been babbling my friend's ears off too much lately, so I'm bringing my writing thoughts to the blog instead lol. So sorry 🙏

So, quick confession. Before I got into K-pop last November, I'd never written a character based on an irl person. It just never crossed my mind to do so?

I mean, obviously I'd take inspiration from people ik irl for characters. If I was writing a best friend character, I'd look to my own best friend, for instance. I often look at my current partner when I'm writing romantic characters. That sort of thing.

But I've never done a fan work for a full, irl, person before. It's a lot harder than I thought it'd be?

I really thought I could just boil them down to some characteristics and character-ify them and call it a day. Basically have a Felix-inspired character instead of writing Felix, yknow?

That's still what I have, but it's a lot more difficult to do that I was expecting. I kind of feel like I'm just writing in my own voice and borrowing SKZ's faces lol.

Like, obviously I know they are real and complete human beings, right? I know that and I knew that and I'm still stunned by the knowledge that they're real, whatever. But I don't think I was more intimately aware that they are real and complete human beings than when I was trying to nail down their voices.

Still haven't nailed that down but whatever.

Like, for a regular character, even if I'm borrowing from someone else's work to make fanfic and the like, you can pretty easily nail down things like how they walk, how they talk, their thoughts, opinions, and feelings. It's easy to give a fictional character a voice when you have a story to tell. There's a certain headspace you get into.

It's so much harder to do that for characters based on irl people.

Because the fact of the matter is that you can watch and read and get the gist of their innermost thoughts, especially book characters. They have a factual answer for what their opinions and thoughts are.

irl-based characters don't.

I mean, sure, you can decide those things. They're ultimately the version of that irl person that exists for your story. It's not ACTUALLY that person, you can do whatever with the character. But when trying to be faithful when making a fan work, it really throws me off my game.

I kind of HAVE to be wildly inaccurate with their characterization, because I DONT know how they'd actually act.

We spend so much time watching these idols, following their stories and careers and eating up every morsel of content they throw our way but still, ultimately, we don't know them.

We don't see their quiet moments, when the cameras are off and nobody's watching that show their truest selves. We can't see their innermost thoughts or witness the world the way they see it. That makes writing them very hard lol

It's an interesting challenge though. For my Fake Text Fic in particular I looked at their bubbles to see if I could spot any texting habits. There were some, like Felix and Seungmin's sticker habit, that I couldn't do because of limitations of the apps I'm using, but otherwise there just. Wasn't enough data for me?

I've had Felix and Bangchan's bubbles for, like, almost half a year? Everyone else I've had just a little over a month. Chan's is probably closest to how he actually texts friends, imo, but everyone else is very. Affectionate? Fan service-y? Awkward? Idk.

Obviously Chan does the fan service too, he's the poster child of Bubble fan service. His little rp scenarios are not lost on me. But he's very teasing and light hearted with it. Felix tends to get very sentimental and while he does tease as well, it's a very different sort, yknow? Very idol-to-fan. The whole of bubble is that way. They are idols, after all, they can't just send whatever. Bangchan is just a weirdo (affectionate)

Anyways, point is, while there are some little things I can recreate in their texting styles, I don't quite have the imagination to apply those things to friend interactions or things like that. So I'm kind of just winging it, and everyone sounds like me lol.

It's fun though. I'm having a grand ol time. Hopefully by the time I start my next SMAU I'll have nailed down their characteristics a little better. Incremental improvement is the name of art tbh.

But yeah, Tl;Dr: Writing about real people is so much harder than writing compeltely fictional characters due to fundamental differences in my ability to understand them.

If you actually read this whole this, uh, why? You're very beautiful and I kiss you on the mouth (if you consent) abt it. Thank you, ily <3 Hope your day is as wonderful as you are 💕💕💕

[sammydem0n64]

[Sitting everyone down] Ok so. Bertha sets Thornfield on fire like in canon, yeah? But instead of committing suicide she ends up fleeing the premise. What happens to everyone else doesn’t matter (like everyone survives, Rochester’s fate is vague but yknow he either ends up like canon (aka permanently disabled and disfigured) or dead) and they don’t look for Bertha because they assume she either died n they couldn’t recover the body or she fled to which, yippee, not our problem now! Regardless she ends up sulking her way through England and ends up a stowaway on a ship going to France. The ship crew let her on since she’s clearly fucked up and even though she doesn’t speak (nonverbal) she’s able to communicate she doesn’t want to be here anymore and they’re like “Amen to that sister!” so she ends up in France but still she ends up homeless and basically wandering for god knows how long. It just so happens that during this time, Erik lets Christine go, but instead of “dying of a broken heart” in his lair so she can bury him later, he ends up fucking off into the woods to die alone so he doesn’t burden the woman he loves whom he is letting go with his body. Except he doesn’t die. He just passes out and Bertha finds him and wakes him up and he’s like “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU- DON’T LOOK AT ME I’M UGLY I’M HORRIBLE WHY AREN’T I DEAD-” but yknow. In French. and Bertha thinks “Dawg what the fuck ...” but after listening to how he wound up in the woods and seeing he isn’t injured physically she leaves. But Erik follows her because he has no idea what to do now (he can’t go back to his catacombs and he’s committing to letting Christine live her life) so honestly he lowkey just wants to off himself (once again because he thinks he has nothing to live for and doesnt want to burden Christine) so he follows Bertha until he can figure out how to do so. But instead they bond. Are you listening to me they end up growing close and reach a small French village and Erik uses his construction knowledge to get a job and they build a nice cabin in the woods for them to share and- are you listening to me they have a loving slow burn and they live cottagecore lives but as a m/f couple wait come back-

[gibbearish]

hi. you'll forgive me for not responding to the specifics here because to be entirely frank, yes, i guess im not "discourse-inundated" enough to know about whatever it is you're talking about and without that context most of what you've said here makes little to no sense to me.

you say "i'm really sorry if op was saying this for a secret third reason completely disconnected from the wider debate" but you don't actually mean that, earlier on you say "to claim this is an independant point when this is clearly referant to it is disingenuous" and "to post about this now without addressing the wider context the post was made in kind of sucks". you do not believe i made this without intending it as part of what you apparently see as both a niche enough topic that one has to be discourse-inundated to be referring to it while also widely known enough that i couldn't /possibly/ be speaking in a different context, but you know distantly somewhere that expecting everyone to know your specific internet arguments is unreasonable, so you throw that in for plausible deniability. this response is extremely accusatory in response to subtext you inserted into it yourself and a throwaway "sorry if i'm wrong, not that i am and even if i am it doesn't matter but just in case" at the end doesn't fix that or come across as genuine in the slightest.

regardless, this post was /not/ made in whatever context you're referring to, it was made in the context of me spending years watching different iterations of slur discourse pop up all following the same trend of "is this specific identity close enough to the traditional target demographic of this slur to be allowed to use it?", and how i think asking that question in the first place misses the point of slur reclamation entirely. i am not required to address the nuances of whatever the current coat that same bullshit core is wearing this time in order to bring up the core being rotten when discussing my personal experiences, and you don't get to say "that debate happening now is an important factor of this whole discussion at the moment" to forcibly insert your discourse into my personal discussion, nor do you get to essentially hold me responsible for other people i do not know nor have even heard of using slurs in a non-respectful way. also if you'll notice, my original post is specifically saying that it's someone's intentions behind saying a slur that matter when weighing if they should or not, so someone doing it disrespectfully is yknow. doing the exact opposite of when i said it's fine to use.

in summary, you should reasses how you approach conversations on the internet, because this is not the right way. you were rude and accusatory about meaning that did not exist because you projected your own arguments onto a statement made outside that context, /pretended/ to acknowledge you could be wrong, and wasted whatever time was spent writing an essay that misunderstood its target audience so completely that it was rendered incomprehensible. if you think a post is made within a specific context, you can just fucking ASK and base your reaction on that, rather than just taking your first assumptions and running with them while tossing out a half-hearted apology "if by some miracle" you were wrong. well in that case it must be christmas because apparently we all just witnessed a miracle here today!

anyways tldr no this was not about whatever discourse you think it was, it was about the fact that arguments about who can say what slurs based on specific traits rather than intention keeps happening to begin with, and a shitty fake disclaimer that you could maybe perhaps someday in some universe mayhaps perchance be a smidgen wrong doesnt get you out of the fact you were an asshole to me for no reason. thanks.

"can bi nbs say dyke" "can trans men say tranny" "can this specific identity reclaim this slur" ENOUGH !!! ALL that matters is whats in your heart when you say it. is there love for your community or is there hate for people not like you. are you saying it to hurt someone or to give a hurtful thing new love-filled meaning. theres your answer.