#but yeah i wanted to post all that unfinished stuff in one big post and i even censored the sexy stuff

[pichupurin]

tumblr wont let me post my smutty human au zasr :(((

[rin-and-jade]

Gripped by Glue Trap: a Post about Front Stuck & Lock

I get it, there's no such thing as an actual big glue trap with being stuck outside as a system,, but oftentimes its gonna feel that way because whatever was done... that glue won't even struggle one bit, only we do. That frustration is what we all have when switching is not an option.

But do you ever think this glue is defeatable? It latches hard and wears you out the more you try to get out of the situation,, so you might think not.. yet i do! That's what this post is going to be about folks, getting your little bug-self free with my secret trick from another human glue trap ensnared in their house.

But.. what is it actually?

Generally, as a system, we facilitate each other's strengths and weaknesses by switching in and out, as all those parts are not wholly integrated compared to a singlet. And. Uh oh. You're stuck and can't get out? You're trapped!.. that little drop of sap caught your leg and now you couldn't leave, even if you wanted to. Though you still can express to your buddies that you need help or etc. (and, this is called front stuck)

Or sometimes, we can even get stranded away from our pack (as in stress, or anything that worsens internal communication), wondering alone, and stood on a nasty manmade trap that caught you without mercy. This time, you're immobile and out of reach to call for reinforcements (now, this one is called front lock)

Sap? Glue? What's the diff??

To put it simply, being stuck means being unable to get out from the front or surrender the control to another part. While being locked off is the worser version of being stuck because not only you cannot surrender the control, there is barely any stream of communication you can connect to, or nonexistent, head silent and all that.

The only similarity they have is how it greatly impedes the fronter's capability to ease in or out from front,, if not, impossible.

These two also happen for different possible reasons, such as:

↓ Stuck ↓ 

Unfinished tasks

Goal/wants not met yet

Ongoing role duty (for protectors, hosts, etc)

Reluctance handing control/fear of blacking out

Mild stressors (like anxiety)

.. and more

↓ Locked ↓

Dissociation

Fight/flight response

Overwhelm

Bigger stressors

Major life changes

Re-occurring trauma

.. and more

Just a reminder that all systems are different, and these same reasons that causes to be stuck/lock will result in an opposite reaction such as rapid switching or being blurry! This post is mainly for those who experience stuck/lock.

Then, how do i get my leg out?!

I can tell you that, but i have to explain how this ordeal happened in the first place so it'll make sense, bare with me;

You know the parasympathetic (rest) and sympathetic (fight/flight) response, yeah? These two responses flicks on depending when there's safety or presented threats. Now, DMN is a part of the parasympathetic response, the full name is Default Mode Network, which is fully responsible for.. well.. default stuffs such as mind wandering, planning, thinking inwards,, those typical things that happen when you're bored. This is also the reason you why can facilitate better communication with other parts compared to when, let's say, being busy with tasks.

Know it or not, sometimes our mind has to wander a little bit in order to chat with other parts of ourself, and stress snaps us out of that relaxed state in purpose of focusing whats at outside, rather than inside, which where everything system-y lies at. Some do not get affected and still can function as-if, so understand how your system works and use that to the advantage.

How to hack yourself from fight/flight to rest mode again? Via vagus nerve stimulation! Not sure if you ever heard of this word, but the vagus is one part of the cranial nerves that is responsible for the activation of this parasympathetic response..! It's like the oil to the glue, because it hijacks the adhesive properties with something so viscous that it binds to it instead of you!! --

Here are some activities you can do to disable the glue:

Gurgle water, hum, or sing: this is because the vagus is located around your neck, and can be easily stimulated that way.

Watch something: redirecting yourself with a distraction can ease you temporarily, giving time to calm down, which brings you out of the grips of stress.

Listen to music: another way if you don't have anything to watch, even better if you put on soothing, slower songs.

Move around: get those pented up anxiety or restlessness out! movement equals expression, this also activates the vagus nerve.

Breathe deeply: rebalance the vagus by breathing in and out slowly, this nerve is also responsible for your breathing pace too, so giving a little push of balance will create a domino effect for your nerve to work.

Unfocus your eyes: or, another way to do it is to focus more on the peripheral vision rather than the vocal point. This is a way to poke the same nerve's functions, oddly can work as a booster to make yourself slightly dissociated/disconnected which facilitates switches or a general break/distraction.

Solve/asses it: it will be nothing if you do not tackle the thing you are very stressed out about, which can extend how long you'll be stuck,, so use these tips above to regain self control and tackle them with me, or your trusted friends, or even alone after examining what could be done! Talking to someone also helps, even if there's nothing productive being done.

Take it easy and break it down: this one is if you're on a role job and things are being difficult, incase you're overwhelmed, remember to do it step by step, no need to be rash about getting back in first, that time will come as long you focus whats in front.

Remember, fight/flight brings us out from clarity and rational thinking, thanks to our limbic part of the brain who is primed for survival and instincts. Be more gentle with yourself, as you could be more irritable, moody, or resorting to less-safe coping mechanisms, focus on calming down before proceeding the situation.

Takeaway

So, what will you do if you're stuck next time? Don't forget to make a plan to deal this sticky situation, especially for those who are often stuck, this practice will practice your vagus nerve to be less susceptible, turning off because of stress,, giving you a better stress window and tolerance before succumbing once more.... to the good ol' glue.

Lastly, it is possible to be stuck/lock for months or years, which is an indicator of underlying long-term issues that needs to be addressed. If anyone needs some tips for this, ring me on the DMs as these practices rarely work for this type.

Oh, and, what do you guys think? What else i had not mentioned? Do you have anything to discuss with me on this topic? Let's do that! I hope this suffice in helping you tackle the next time problems arise.

Happy straddling lil' ant.

- j

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Idk why I can't look at any Glassheart posts rn. It makes me feel unwell. Like my heart is being squeezed.

But I'll continue my Glassheart stories soon I hope. (I have an unfinished one in my drafts rn

However

I just saw this super cute short video. And I just wanted to write a little one shot for it. So, hope you enjoy. It's short.

---

Red let's out a little sighs as she waits for Chloe to come Home. She was alone at home. Well actually no, she wasn't alone. She had her cute little baby girl with her. 18 months old.

When she looks at her little pride and joy all her impatience was replaced with love. Her little Rina.

She gently brushes through the light red, curly hairs and looks at her baby, who is sitting in the baby chair and eating some strawberries. Rina just looks at her, she looks offended but not really and continues to eat her little fruit snack.

Red can't help but laugh at how adorable she looks. But that's not the only reason she's quietly laughing. You see

She was doing her skincare routine like usual, if a bit.. well a lot later than usual but still the same thing. Her little princess was playing with some of her toys. Red loves hearing her laugh as she once again made a 3 block high tower with the colorful blocks.

But she hates that she can't share those moments with Chloe. Chloe has to work a lot. And when she comes home she's either exhausted or not in a good mood. But she's nothing less than kind and loving, obviously they fight sometimes but everyone does that. And they talk it out. Anyway that's not what this story is about.

When Chloe comes home. She is overworked and stressed.

So Red had a fun little idea. And she hopes it makes Chloe's day.

Back to the present, Red hears the door open and Chloe walks into the kitchen area. She's wearing a frown and her eyes emotionless. Red tries to hide her smile as she greets her Wife "Hello" and Chloe gives a "Hey" back.

The Baby chair was right in front of the doorway and Chloe noticed little movement from it. When she looks down she sees her little treasure sitting there. She stares for 2 seconds and bursts out laughing. It sounds like trying to start a car several times. Red joins in the laughter.

Chloe needs to bend over with how much she's laughing. She really needed this.

What did Red do? She put fake eyebrows on their baby. And it looks hilarious.

They've been both laughing for at least 2 minutes. Chloe holds her stomach as she takes in a deep breath, she lets out a very amused "WOoooo" tears in her eyes. Still laughing a little. With a big smile "I'm sorry Rin-" she looks at her baby again, and it's looking straight back at her and she's gone again. The laughter starting all over again.

---

Lol. It's based on this short

I don't really like that I added stuff that isn't explained further, but I wanted to keep it short and focus on the baby with the eyebrows.

I didn't want to steal names from others who also made Glassheart children. So I named her Rina. She'll probably never come up again. But if she does. She has light red hair almost pastel like which turns to a darker red or maybe even light purple idk. definitely curly. And um. Yeah. That's all really. Haven't thought much further.

Ok byeee

[pudding-parade]

Louisiana by MURPHTHESURF

"But Pudding," you say, "why do I need another swamp world when I have Twinbrook?" To which I say, "Because this one is better."

It's an unpopulated 1024x1024 world, with about 60 total lots, fairly evenly split between residential and community lots. It has a lot of spawners, particularly rock/gem ones, but it has all of them except the Island Paradise and Into the Future ones. Despite the name of the world, I don't think it particularly looks like Louisiana, other than it has lots of water/wetlands. There are lots of fog emitters. You can almost smell the methane.

The lots are either EA lots (possibly edited; I'm not familiar enough with them to judge) or ones that the creator downloaded from other creators and then placed in the world. In particular, many of the lots were created by ruthless_kk, who creates very nice, very detailed, cc-free lots. The creator has meshed the lots together pretty well, so that the world feels cohesive even though the lots came from many different sources. And the scenery that the creator built is lovely.

The world has no CC. As far as I can tell, the Store content that it has is mostly in the lots created by ruthless_kk, and it's all just decorative stuff, so if you don't have it, it's probably not a big deal. Beyond that, I'm pretty sure it requires all EPs except Into the Future. It also needs the Town Life stuff pack because it uses the gym lot from that pack, so if you don't have that pack, that lot will have the wrong windows, and the equipment will be replaced with base game stuff, etc. If you don't have that pack and don't want to fix the lot, you could just plunk down a different gym instead.

There's more pics and info behind the cut, but first: As usual, the title of this post is a link to the world's incredibly useless Exchange page. If you'd rather not deal with the Exchange/the launcher/sims3packs, I have upload a .world file here. If you download the .world file it goes in your game install files under GameData - Shared - NonPackaged - Worlds.

First up, some Edit Town/map view pics of the world. Each set shows roughly half of the world.

Basically, one half is the more "urban" part and the other half is more rural. So, you can have your sim live in one of the Late Night apartments in the city part. Or they can live in a nice little farm like this one...

...which is set up as a winery. Or they can live in lovely Victorian/Second Empire house like the one in the pic above the cut, of which there are several in the world. Or they can live in...

...a swamp shack, complete with its own dumpster and a bayou "beach" in the back. Or they can live in...

...an ultra-modern place? Yeah, there are two such lots and while they are very nice lots, I don't think they fit in all that well. If I was playing the world I'd replace them. But, if you like ultra-modern houses, there you are.

The world doesn't have an abundance of houses, but the houses that it has are all fully furnished and ready to go, and there are definitely enough of them to get you started. There are a number of empty lots, particularly in two areas of the world that are somewhat unfinished. There are also areas where it would be easy to add new lots. All of which you might want to do because the world has only two lots that are starter-priced, and the swamp shack above is not one of them. The lot on the right side of this pic is one of them:

So, if you aren't as liberal with the free real estate cheat as I am, you might need more starter lots. But if you are liberal with free real estate, here are a few more of your options:

And here are a few non-EA community lots:

This is a dive bar with a junkyard theme, complete with junk piles in back. (There is an actual junkyard, too.) It has a professional bar, seating, and shuffleboard. Other entertainment in the world includes a a disco, a fusion lounge, and a dance club. It does have the "event center" from Showtime but no other Showtime venues, so those would need to be added if you want to play the Showtime careers.

This is a nectary, though it's designated as a small park. It has all the grape plants, a little place for weddings, nectar sales, a nectar-making machine, and a "restaurant" with a food register and a buffet table. I'm pretty sure this lot is placed backwards, though, because the back of it faces the road. I don't know if this was done deliberately, but I think it would look better flipped around.

This is a little comic shop, in a more unfinished section of the city part of the world. It has the science objects from University Life on the top floor.

Other community lots in the world are:

Festival (the Sunset Valley one)

A Chinese garden

A fire station

A gym

A consignment shop

A small resort

A salon

Several parks/fishing spots, including the butterfly dome from Bridgeport

So, there are some common lot types missing -- a beach, a library, a public pool, etc. -- but since there are a good number of empty lots in the world, these could be added, whether you build them yourself or plop down EA or downloaded ones.

Overall, this is a nice world. Parts of it are unfinished with some empty lots placed but not much else. There are some lots that have community designations but are empty. (For instance, there's a lot designated as a public pool, but it's empty.) But the scenery is quite beautiful, and if you need a smallish, ready-to-play world, this might be one for you, especially if you happen to like Victorian-style houses.

We'll finish off with some more scenery pics, because it's a pretty world.

[unsurewhatusernametoput]

I love having to explain to people exactly how obsessed with SIX I was

like my friends will point out when it’s coming to my city and I’m like “yes honey I’ve known, I’ve known since 8 months ago and I have tickets don’t worry” and then when I mentioned six fanfiction and my friend was like “wait people write fanfiction about it?” “Yes and I’ve read so so many that I had to read wattpads fics FUCKING WATTPAD, if you read the six the musical fics on there you would know….I also know like every ship of the six and probably have read a diff of it” “PEOPLE SHIP THEM?!?!? Aren’t they like cousins?” “Yes but luckily the fandom is small enough no one ships the incest ✌️😜”

then he went on to tell me I was the person that drew Miku binder Tomas Jefferson 😭😭😭

and then when someone sends u a six meme and u have to pretend you’ve seen it for the first time (so that they keep talking abt ur intrest)

one time I was in a little six the musical thingy and the director was asking everyone abt a “little” background about the queens and one person from each group would answer, (I was in the Boylens, but like ofc bc I literally am Anne Boylen and the main character soooo) AND A KID FROM MY GROUP SHOT UP HER HAND AND THE TEACHER CALLED ON HER AND THE SHIT SHE SAID WAS “she uh grew up in France and then married the king and then flirted with 3 guys and then got beheaded” LIKE NO BITCH SHE DID NOT DONT RAISE UR HAND IF UR GUNNA LIE TO US DHFHJFJDIDISKSJSJWHUEUEUE SO THEN I RAISED MY HAND TO HELP HER PUT THERE 😭😭😭✌️😭

ALSO I TAUGHT MY GROUP SO MUCH SHIT ABT HER IN FACT EVERYONE AT THAT PLACE KNEW I WAS THE HISTORY ONE SO THEY WOULD COME UP TO ME AND BE LIKE “hey _____ do u know anything about Anna of Cleves” UMMM HELL YEAH !!!!!!! IT WAS SO FUN 🤭🤭🤭🤭

another time I was doing Karoke and me & my friend wanted to sing SIX and she’s like “so which song” and I’m like “I know the lines to like all of them so we can do any one”

one time my friends said “her forehead is so big it could be Library full of SIX facts” 💪

also I had(ve) no friends that were this intensely or at all obsessed with it so I would literally be fucking texting myself links to videos and stuff

Also like one time I got jumpscared bc out of the corner of my eye I saw Santa Claus and thought it was H*nry VIII

Also I have seen almost every single one of Art E’s (person who made six the kids) tumblr posts + may or may not have also gotten a virus (no fr I’m not sure) from tumblr when scrolling through six posts

whenever I couldn’t sleep or was home alone yes I would perform six and yes I would know most of the lines

the biggest album on my phone is six photos + I have separate albums for every queen and their kids

also I have seen pretty much every incorrect SIX quote and they are pretty much inside jokes with myself

when I would get really anxious I would imagine my life if I was an actor on tour playing Boylen and my friendship which each of the other random actors and also I would imagine my favorite six six (the last song) animatic

there were times where I could hardly do anything without thinking “OMG THIS IS SO JANE SEYMOUR LIKE I,AGINE IF THE QUEENS WERE HERE AND JEHFJDJWKWKWMMA” (to myself in my head I’m not annoying like that….well to anyone but G)

I wanted to make a Anne Boylen cosplay SOOOO BAD despite having no cosplay skills one time I tried to make one for a belle doll I bought at goodwill speicifically for that purpose and also one out of cardboard

I have an album with all of the bootlegs I could find that aren’t just a black screen and can send it to u

and yet although I’ve been obsessed for 2-3 years I have hardly made any art for it and just have like 50 million unfinished sketches and may or may not have unfinished fanfics and so so many mental ideas of animatics (idk how to animate) that I abandoned after a day and I own 4 pieces of merch that I didn’t make myself (7 if u include the stuff I made) ✌️😭 ✌️😖

when I was bored instead of watching a Netiflix show or listening to music like a normal person, oh no, I would rewatch H*nry VIII oversimplified I’ve seen it like 10 times honestly a banger

Also if you know these 3 songs you are SUCH a real one and I love you;

-divorced behead and died 🗣️🔥💯‼️ divorced beheaded survived 🗣️🔥💯‼️ IM H*NRY VIII IVE HAD 6 SORRY WIVES YOU COULD SAY I RUINEDTHEIR LIVES 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

-H*NRY H*NRY H*NRY HAD SO MANY WIVES THAT HAD TO DIE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️ H*NRY H*NRY H*NRY HAD SO MANY ONLY ONE SURVIED ☝️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

-ITS SO SUPER CRAZY THAT I GOT TO BE QUEEN 🗣️🔥🔥💯‼️‼️‼️ THE ODDS WERE AGAISNT IT IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN OFC I WAS THE DAUGHTER TO A POWERFUL KING BUT I NEVER THOUGHT I’D END UP WEARING THIS THING 👑👑🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️

Also yes I censor H*nry and not fuck bc it’s funny and I like that it’s like a little with us six fans 💪 as well as Henrat

also I did a history project on Elizabeth I

also at another preppy little thing I did was think which of my friends are each of the queens bc I’m Boylen therefore we all have to be besties

And I could write something probably longer than this post abt my head canons of what I think their personality would be like au’s how I think their friendships are to each other what they would like and dislike, basically a really advanced sim and yes I have made them in the sims but sims 3 won’t let me have more than 8 so Edward had to go also Eddy is an iPad kid bc I deicided like come on Jane would so give him and iPad and be like “oh yes ofc I will pay 20 dollars so u can have new robux 😇”

also I have every single one of the queens and their kids deathdays on my calendar (Mae is not included) as well as their birthdays

also it has been 2 years and I still remeber the time and date I saw six for the first time (cried 6 times 3 when it started 3 when it ended) 💪💪💪

being a SIX fan is having no clue what to say when someone asks how many wars H*nry fought but knowing the amount of miscarriages Lina had

fun fact: Henry killed thousands more ppl than Mary ✌️😜

One time I got in like a 30 minute argument with my friends Snapchat ai about whether or not H*nry deserves decent human respect BITCH JUST BCZ IT WAS A “DIFFRENT TIME” DOESNT KAKE IT OKAY” 😤😤😤

ALSO I HAVE SOOOO MANY UNPOPULAR OPINIONS AND ALSO KATHRYN PARR IS SPELT WITH A K GUYS GET IT RIGHT BC ELIZABETH MADE HER A FRENCH VERSION OF ONE OF HER BOOKS AND PUT HER INITIALS ON IT WHIC WERE KP ‼️‼️‼️

Also fun fact Elizabeth signed everything Elizabeth R because R means Regina which means queen in Latin or something and Elisabeth could speak SOOO MANY diffrent Languages.

[heyhilana]

Just One of the Guys (Catfish Morales)

Summary: Frankie tries to make amends with you after a mission that goes wrong, leaving you not talking to the boys for a while. But with the time that has passed, you realize that you missed someone more than you thought.

A/N: Hi! This has been sitting in my unfinished drafts for a while, so I wanted to finish this story and so many more that I never got around to. This is my new mission for now, and then I will get to making newer stuff. I hope you enjoy it, and as always, drink water and smile <3

Pairing: Frankie Morales x !f reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence, death, shooting, but not much else.

Word Count: 6.7K (listen can you blame me)

Masterlist

“You were going to go on this trip by yourself?” Frankie asked as you let him in the house, closing the door behind him.

“Yes, and is that a problem?” You went to the kitchen, taking a sip of your wine.

“Yes that is! You could’ve at least told Tom but no one?” Frankie sat down on your couch, and your blood was boiling at the mere mention of Tom.

“Tom is busy with his life. I’m not going to report to him as if he’s my P.O..” You scoffed.

“Then tell me, Santi, Will, Benny, somebody! But you should’ve said something.” Frankie was angry, and the last time you saw him this angry was the last time you saw him in general.

“I can handle myself. I don’t need a babysitter, Frankie,” You huffed, getting irritated by his never-ending concerns for you. You appreciated them, but they were getting a little out of hand. It was almost as if he didn’t believe that you could protect yourself and that he had to be your protector.

“I know you can, but we look out for each other.” His tone was softer, but you weren’t letting up.

“I know that you have my back, especially after what happened, but you can’t keep me from going on this mission by myself.” This was your first mission by yourself that you were going on for the first time in three years. It was scary, but you knew that it had to be done.

“It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ve done missions likes these plenty of times.”

“Yeah, but all of us were right there with you incase anything went wrong. You have no backup, only Plan A.” That set you off.

“My contact is going to be within the area, and I know this area better than all of you. I’m going to be fine.” You were irritated with him. The last thing you wanted was to have them around you. It was hard enough letting Frankie back into your life, but the others? Not a shot in hell.

“Then tell me this. You’re not still mad about before, are you?”

-

You were walking along in the forest, all the boys in tow as you made your way to your target’s house. It was a big mission that couldn’t leave either of you out as you both needed to have each other’s back and be the other’s eyes and ears if need be. You found the hill you were going to sit on with your sniper and were waiting to hear what the next steps would be.

“Okay. Iron and Benny, you take the right corridor. Pope and Cat, you take the west side. I’ll be taking the back entrance and Y/N will stay on the hill to take any shots necessary. Got it?”

“Yes. Let’s move out.” Pope and the rest move out just as you set up your post on the hill. You made sure there were no onlookers nearby as you put on your camouflage poncho. You laid down on the hill, putting your sniper set up together just as Tom spoke into the walkie-talkie.

“You’re all set?”

“Almost. You guys made it down the hill yet?” You were putting the scope together, careful to not break it.

“I’m just now reaching the back entrance and the others are doing the same. Be ready, Y/n. A lot can go wrong right now,” Tom was worried, but you were calm and collected.

���I know that a lot can go wrong, but it’s going to be fine. I just finished setting up and I got you guys.” You got no response, but you shrugged it off, putting the sniper stand in position and laying down to look through your scope. You adjusted the zoom as you saw Cat and Pope splitting up to take the hallways. You shifted and saw Iron and Benny walking into the kitchen, incapacitating the two guys sitting at the table.

“Kitchen is clear.” Iron spoke into the walkie-talkie.

“Living room is clear.” Cat called out.

“Move into the bedroom.” Tom ordered. You moved your scope to the bedroom, seeing that the guard was patrolling with an open window.

“I have a clear shot on the guard, but our target is nowhere to be seen.” You spoke into your walkie-talkie, noticing that the guard had an Uzi on him.

“Take the shot, and we’ll find out where the target is.” You followed orders, a clean shot right at the guard’s head as he fell down right when Pope and Cat walked through the door.

“Coast is clear. He must be on the roof.” Pope spoke. And sure enough, you moved your scope up to see that the target was going through the hatch with a gun in hand, making way for the escape.

“He’s on the roof with a gun. Be careful.” You warned, upping your zoom so your shot was not interfered with. It was beginning to get windy, making you question whether a snipe was ideal given the situation.

“Got it. Pope and Cat, climb out through the window and get to the roof. Iron and Benny, follow up to the hatch as I believe it’s near the staircase. I will follow suit with the staircase as soon as you all get up there.” Something about the plan was spelling disaster in the pit of your stomach, but you said nothing. You watched as Pope and Cat followed suit with their orders, your heart pounding as Cat almost lost his grip, potentially falling down from 3 stories. But Pope helped him up, and then both climbed right up just as Iron and Benny surrounded the target.

“I will shoot you all!” The target was erratic, and you were worried that he would accidentally shoot at the very least, making this more complicated. Everyone had their guns pulled, but Pope was the one to put his down.

“You’re outnumbered. Give us the gun, and this can all go very easy for all of us.” Pope had his hands up, but the rest still were trained on him. Faintly, you could see Tom in the back opening the hatch, careful to not alert the target.

“You killed my brother. Why should I surrender to you? So you can kill me or make me rot away in an American prison?’

“Your brother tried to blow up a U.S. Embassy. We tried to get him to work with us but he chose his fate. You can still choose yours.” Iron spoke from behind, and the feeling of what could go wrong killed you inside. And your fears were proven right. The man was beginning to lower his gun and Pope was walking over to him with cuffs from his pocket, but from afar, another sniper was watching, and he sniped Santi in the leg and the target got him in a chokehold, gun at his head. Your heart dropped down to your stomach, knowing that it could’ve possibly hit an artery. You moved your sniper around and saw the man from 100 meters away from you, all in black, waiting for the next move. You shot him, the silenced snipe thankfully not alerting the target. You moved your sniper back around, seeing that it was a riskier standoff than you anticipated. Time was of the essence, but to know that you could potentially shoot one of your own was not an option.

“You’ve got nowhere to run. Let him go and we won’t kill you.” Cat’s voice was slightly wavering, and you saw that the man was spinning around too much to get a clear shot. The wind was getting stronger, a huge gust almost moving your sniper out of place.

“You’ve taken from me, so I’ll take from you. A fair trade don’t you think?” He laughed, knowing that time was limited on his side.

“If you don’t let him go, we will shoot you.” Suddenly, he turned in your direction, making it impossible to get a clear shot as Pope’s head was in the way.

“I can’t shoot. You’ll need to direct him the other way for me to kill him.”

“Take the shot.” Tom was erratic as he spoke to you in a harsh yet soft tone given his close proximity, and you were not having it.

“I can’t. I might hit Pope instead and not the target. Or potentially I hit both!” You were angry at Tom’s orders knowing that he would potentially risk his friend’s life and not get the target killed. The wind was slowly letting up, but you were hoping that a huge gust wouldn’t come until the target was killed.

“Take the shot. That’s an order, Y/n!” He barked at you.

“I’m not risking his life! I will wait until it’s safe!” You were stern.

“Take the shot. You’re risking everyone’s lives right now.” Tom was trying to guilt you, but you stood your ground.

“I will take it when it’s safe.” Tom was furious with you in response, but you kept your cool, watching and listening, waiting for the right time.

“Let him go. I will not tell you again.” Cat was trying to distract him, but as Iron tried to move closer to incapacitate him, the sound was too much, making the target turn around.

“Over my dead body.” He pointed the gun at Iron, and you shot the target right in the head, careful to avoid Pope. He fell, his leg needing medical attention, or else it would go from bad to worse.

“Are you all okay?”

“We’re all good from here. We’ll meet you up on the hill.” Tom was short, and you could see from your scope that he was ranting about how this went wrong. You sighed, packing up your stuff and waiting for them at least halfway to make it easier on you.

After a few minutes of walking down the hill, you saw them all with Cat and Iron holding up Pope so he could walk.

“Is he okay?” You asked, seeing that he was out of it.

“He’ll live. He lost a bit of blood but we have blood bags in the heli.” Benny responded, and although he was always nice to you, he never met your gaze, making you wonder if they were as mad at you as Tom was.

“You should’ve taken the shot.” Tom finally spoke, and the rage boiling in you was at its hottest temperature.

“I could’ve killed Pope. I want him to still have a chance to go home to his family. I want all of you to still go home to your families!”

“You take the shot anyways. We all know the risks the minute we decide to go. You could’ve gotten us all killed behind that.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Was it better to take a risky shot that had multiple wrong endings than to wait for the right time? The wind could’ve moved your scope and you could’ve hit Iron, Benny, Pope, or Cat. You could’ve killed Santi and not the target. Or kill them both but now your worst fears have come true. It wasn’t worth it, not when you care about them like brothers.

“I had to calculate the risks.”

“I already calculated that and I told you to take it anyways.”

“Did you calculate that there was another sniper going to be here? No, you didn’t. You can’t calculate everything going into it and things get fucked up. This got fucked up because of a surprise sniper and I wasn’t going to make it worse by rushing. It didn’t feel right.”

“Forget about that. You take the shot when I tell you to. That’s what you’re here for.” You raised an eyebrow at the last few words, the sudden unappreciation hitting the forefront.

“That’s what I’m here for? What, am I just a tool for you guys?” You scoffed.

“N-No. That’s not what I meant-“ You didn’t want to hear it. Not when your fear of getting involved with a team was coming true. After years of doing this line of work on your own, you found a group that made you happy for the most part, even when you felt slighted when they would leave you out of things back home. You considered them to be friends, even Cat and Benny your closest. But to know that things were unrequited on their ends was enough to make you never want to see them again.

“No, I know what you meant. I’m glad to now know why I always felt so out of place. You guys never cared about me, only for my skillset. That’s why I never met your families, why I never got invited to Benny’s fights, why I was never invited to go to any of your houses. You guys only used me for your benefit, and I thought I was crazy for thinking that.” You began to walk past them, but Cat tried to hold your arm.

“Hey, that’s not true-“

“Francisco, don’t clean this up. I’d rather hear this than believe a lie. Just get us home and I’ll go my way and you all can go in yours.” You shook his hand off you as you began walking further down the path, complete silence from all of you as you made it to the heli and back home.

-

“I’m done with that. It’s not that big of a deal anymore.” You took another sip of your wine.

“You haven’t spoken to anyone in 6 months. You only speak to me now because I tracked you down.” He was looking at you, and you didn’t like being in his gaze. Not like this. Maybe before under the pretense of friends even with the burning desire you didn’t realize was there until after you went AWOL, but now it was too much.

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but we do care about you.” You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“If this is another attempt to get my forgiveness I’ll walk you out the door.” You moved from your island and around to get closer to the door.

“Just give us this one chance. Benny is having a fight this Saturday, a few days before you go.” You groaned at this futile attempt to get you back into the group.

“I think it’s time for you to go.” You walked over to the door, opening it as Frankie was getting up to walk out.

“Think about it. If you do decide to go, we’ll be meeting in the locker room. Tell security that Benny said it was okay.” He was out of your house, and his pleading eyes almost broke you. But you stood strong, choosing not to answer that question.

“Drive safe, Frankie.” You closed the door on him, returning to your kitchen to pour another glass of wine.

There was a part of you that wanted to go, the part that you wanted to push deep down inside. What if things would be better after 6 months? Did they understand why you did what you did? Were they remotely remorseful about how they excluded you from most events that they had without you? For 4 years, nothing to make you feel close to them yet you did everything for them. You also wondered if they put Frankie up to do this, knowing that he was the only one to find you and the only one that could convince you to go. Your soft spot for him was evident, but you didn’t want to think about them using that against you to get you back in their lives only to use you again like they did before.

-

You were walking along the beach, the breeze enveloping you in coolness as it was a hot day. You made it a point to leave everything behind, settling into a new place, a new identity, a new you. You had your home with the porch you always wanted, enough money to keep you afloat until the next mission awaited you, and no one could find you within 2,000 miles just to be safe. You were happy, finding your sense of peace in a lifetime of chaos that you threw yourself into at a young age. Wanting to slow down just a little, to appreciate the finer things in life without bloodshed or broken bones taking up your time, this was the perfect place for you to live.

The calm waves caught your eye, the crystal blue water and the orange sunset contrasting perfectly. You walked closer to the water, ignoring how cold the water was against your feet. And for a moment, time stood still. It didn’t matter who else was there at the marina. It was just you, the water, and the beautiful sunset. Your past, all the favors you did for money, they were all taking the backseat for the moment. You knew that you would go back at some point, but you wanted to at least have the memories of knowing that for a little while you were blending into society without the pretenses of capturing the bad guys that the Gov’t told you to kill without a second thought. But that moment of peace was interrupted when you looked down and saw another person standing right beside you. You looked up and saw Frankie looking out into the distance like you were, and while you were happy to see him, the other part of you wanted to yell at him for finding you.

“How did you know?”

“You told me three things that you wanted to do when you got away. You wanted to live near the beach to see the water, you wanted to have your boat so you could go sailing, and you wanted to have your house with a porch that overlooked it.” To hear his voice again after all these months built up a lump in your throat, the only man you had worked with that made you feel cared for, that it was more than just a job.

“And I thought that you were only paying attention when I mentioned sports to you,” You dryly laughed, fist curled as you were holding back. “Well, you found me. Go back home and leave me be. You know I’m safe now.”

“Now you know I’m not going to do that. Six months of not hearing from you, and you think I’m just going to walk away?” He turned to face you, and it was like all the months of not seeing him faded into the distance.

“Yes! That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do! You weren’t even supposed to find me because I left for a reason. Go back to your friends and leave me alone. I don’t need them or you.” Venom was all that could be identified in your tone, the mechanism to avoid saying how much you missed him, how much you wanted to forget about the past and start anew with him in your dream destination.

“I never said you needed me or them. But I thought you would at least be happy to see me.” His voice cracked at the end, and it made your heart break.

“I’m happy to see that you didn’t get your head blown off, and despite everything I am happy to see you. But Frankie, I left for a reason, and I don’t need you watching me when I know how to take care of myself.” You were softer, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” That earned a hum of disapproval from you.

“Can’t you see that I’m already doing that?” You moved your hand away, and without realizing it, you both missed that gesture.

“No, you’re yelling at me and I want to talk like adults.” That was what made all the softness wash away.

“Oh? You want to talk like adults? Then tell me why I was never a part of anything you guys did together? How come when I would even ask what you guys were going to do after a mission I would get silence as an answer? I would hear from you maybe every few months for small talk and then it would segway into we need you for a job. Hell, when I was at my old home taking care of my sister did any of you call to check in? No. You only found out when I told you I couldn’t make it since she was in the hospital. You all wished me well through a text and after that, nothing. So again, why would I want to talk like adults to you when you and the boys barely treated me right then?”

“And I’m sorry, for all of it. I swear if we could all take back what we did we would in a heartbeat.” It was giving you a headache to hear him try to speak for everyone. While you could forgive him, you didn’t see a point in talking to the others again. You began to scowl a little, your body moving faster than your mind could process.

“Fucking save it. I don’t want to hear it because I bet you’re only talking to me now because of a mission and I’m your last option.” A part of you knew that it was likely the answer, but the other part of you felt that with the sincerity in his voice, maybe he just wanted to see you. But with knowing how the last few years went with working with them, you didn’t let the other half of you win.

“No! There are no missions. I just miss you-”

“Stop saying that. You don’t. You miss how much I held the team together when things went wrong. You miss all the effort I put in without expecting anything in return. That’s what you miss and I don’t want to hear it. So leave me be, and I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours.” You walked away from him despite his pleas for you to come back.

However, the irony was that Frankie was just as stubborn as you were. He didn’t let up. He called you when he could and tried to see how you were doing. He gave you your space, but he made it known that he was not leaving your life again because he realized just how much he had until you left. And maybe it was the soft spot you had for him that let him back in, or maybe it was how much effort he put in to turn this around, but you had to admit that you appreciated it all. You didn’t know if you were ready to see the rest of them again.

You sat on your couch, looking through the photos on your phone that you kept hidden away in an album. You looked at the photos you all had together, you in the middle of them all after a mission. Benny was always big on photos for some reason, and now you were grateful for it. You thought about how he always wanted to set the timer on his camera, to which Santi was annoyed that it was always set to 10 seconds instead of 5. But when you looked at them all, you saw happiness. Tom with the years wiped off his face as he was genuinely happy. Cat, looking at you with adoration that you hadn’t picked up on. Santi laughing with Iron as he was hitting his chest. Benny on the end, looking at everyone with a huge smile on his face. You played back all of the live photos, with you laughing with them and them hugging you in some. You even noticed how Tom was nice after one mission, hugging you and remembering how he said you did a great job.

Before you knew it, there were tears falling down on your screen. Although they were never the best in including you in certain events, you realized that they did care. All the times they took bullets for you, when they would help you on a solo mission, it was all their way of saying they care about you without verbalizing it. Even with how they tried to plead with you after you got off the plane and you ignored them, running to your car, it wasn’t for nothing. Sure, they had a lot of work to do in doing better, but you decided to go, to at least hear them out. You fell asleep on the couch, phone in hand as the memories lulled you away.

-

You parked outside the warehouse, debating on going in. You saw Frankie’s truck parked a few spots away from where you parked, and the others near there as well but they were all inside. You could leave, pretend that you just never came at all and they would be none the wiser, but before you knew it you were getting out of the car and locking your door to make your way to the warehouse. Up at the door was a burly man and he eyed you.

“You have a pass?”

“Benny is my friend,” It felt weird to say it, knowing that you’ve gone so long without seeing them. “He told me that it’s okay to be back here. My name should be on the list.”

“Name?” He pulled out the notepad of names, pen in hand.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” He flipped through the pages, and when he found yours, he crossed it out.

“You’re all set.” He opened the door for you, and you thanked him with the door closing on you right away. You saw many fighters already bloodied, making you wonder if you came too late even though Frankie’s reminder text said that he would start at 9, another reason to chicken out if it was too late. But you remembered that he said the locker room was down the hall, so you brushed passed the other men and ignored the whistles they gave you until you reached the double doors.

You walked in, hearing and seeing that all the boys were cheering Benny on as he was wrapping his hands. You contemplated on walking in more, knowing that they would see you. You could run out, pretend you never came, and continue not talking to them. But at the very least, you had to see if they did care at all, if they wanted to make things right. So your feet moved faster than you could process, and Frankie was the first to see you.

“You made it.” The other boys faced you, and you felt that the spotlight was on you even with this being Benny’s night.

“Yeah, but I won’t stay for long. I just wanted to wish you well, Benny.” You half smiled at him, and he returned the favor.

“Thank you, but we want you to stay. Well, we hoped you would.” He gestured between himself and the guys.

“This is the first time we’ve seen you in months, Y/N. You have to stay for at least a beer.” Iron was holding up his drink.

“We even have a seat reserved for you.” Pope mentioned.

“Really? That’s very kind of you guys to do.” You were grateful, and a part of you was beginning to believe that this would go a lot better than expected.

“When Frankie told us that he mentioned the fight to you, we wanted to save it just in case.” Tom spoke, and his tone was much softer than what you were accustomed to hearing.

“You planned this, Frankie? I thought they knew ahead of time when you told me.”

“Nope. This was all my doing.” He chuckled, and the hearty sound made your heart flutter a little.

“We thought he was crazy for doing that, knowing how stubborn you are.” Santi joked, and for the first time, you all laughed together.

“He was, but at least I came so it wasn’t a completely dumb idea.” They hummed in agreement, but then a silence fell between you all. It wasn’t until Santi nudged Benny in the shoulder that he coughed and spoke up.

“And I wanted to be the first to apologize for everything. We should’ve tried more to include you in things. You’re not just with us because you’re good at what you do. You’re with us because you’re family. Family sticks together.” The others nodded their head in agreement, and it seemed genuine.

“I need to apologize to you, Y/n. I should’ve trusted your judgment back there. That was not my place to force you to do something you didn’t feel was right. I know you were just looking out for us, and even though we all know that we might not make it back here alive in one piece, we should try to keep that as a top priority.” You were relieved that you were reaching an understanding, that there could be a future with all of them.

“I forgive you, Tom. I can understand where you were coming from, wanting to get the mission done without it being further compromised. And I forgive the rest of you. It’s not like this group started with me in it, but every time we finished one mission I wouldn’t hear from you guys unless I called or you called me if you needed me to come along. I felt so slighted but I didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding crazy. I appreciate all of this though.” You were speaking from the heart, and you would be lying if tears weren’t welling up in your eyes.

“So you’ll stay?” Santi asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

“I’ll stay.” They all cheered, and you walked over to hug them all, feeling that a piece of you that was lost was found again.

“Thank you,” Frankie whispered in your ear. You smiled even wider, knowing that this would be the perfect night before you went on your mission.

-

You were all walking out of the warehouse a little after 11, Benny coming out mostly unscathed and the belt he always wanted. Everyone went to their cars to start them up but you went to hug Will and Benny.

“Make sure Benny takes an ice bath.” You finished hugging Will and Benny.

“I will. You get home safe as well. Can’t have you destroying the road with your driving skills.” Iron joked, making you punch him in the arm.

“Yeah what he said.” Benny slurred a little. You knew that he had one too many celebratory drinks, so you let it slide.

“You wish you could drive like me. But get home safe.” You called out as Will was hauling Benny to the car. They both said bye just as Tom and Santi walked up to you.

“Be safe out there, okay? If you need help, we’ll be there.” Santi put a hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. You guys drive home safe. Promise?”

“Always.” You all hugged, and they walked off to their cars, leaving you to walk to yours as you thought Cat had left already.

“Can’t have you getting to the car by yourself now.” Frankie popped out from the right side of your car, scaring you a little.

“You scared me Cat! Don’t do that.” You were annoyed with him, but he just laughed.

“You know I’ll protect you,” His hand brushed against yours, and you were fighting against yourself to not have it intertwine with yours.

“What are you, my knight in shining armor?”

“Nope. Just a friend that wants to help out another friend.” You cut him a look as he gave his answer, neither of you really buying it.

“You gonna follow me home?” You asked, opening up your car door.

“Yeah, but I won’t be on your ass like the others do to me.”

“Okay, but you better not race me.” You winked at him, earning a scoff from him.

“I can beat you any day, cielo.” The little name widened your eyes, but you tried to keep your cool.

“Then you name the time and I’ll meet you.” You challenged him, and the way he walked up to you made you think he would try something. He brushed the hair behind your ear, staring at you with low eyes and you were fighting the urge to bite your lip as a nervous tendency.

“Just get in the car. It’s getting late.” You deflated as he said that, but you reluctantly moved away and got in the car. You pulled out first and he followed, the drive home seemingly shorter than how long it was for you to get to the warehouse. You didn’t want the night to end, but could you push the limits with this? You had only just let them all into your life but were you ready to test the waters with Frankie? It all took up your thoughts as you pulled into your driveway and Frankie parked on the side of your street. You got out of your car and locked it before waiting for Frankie to walk you to your door. Just looking at him in his infamous hat that was torn and tattered from your missions together, the mustard yellow jacket you thrifted for him, grey shirt, jeans, the same boots that he wore everywhere, you knew you were in dumbstruck awe over him. You walked to the door together, and you unlocked your door, turning on the light and walking inside.

“Are you sure you’re able to drive tonight? You’re an hour away from your home.” You were more so looking for an excuse to spend time with him, but at this point it was midnight and you knew that he had a long day.

“I can sleep in the car for a little before I drive home. It’s not a problem.” You shook your head.

“I’m not gonna let you sleep in the car when I have a couch. Just stay for the night and you cand rive back to your place in the morning.” He didn’t protest, just walking in after you and closing the door, ensuring it was locked. You both took off your shoes and jackets before pulling out a blanket and spare pillow from your linen closet. You saw that he already made himself at home, taking off his hat and putting it on your coffee table. Somehow, your house seemed more like a home with him in it.

“Do you want another pillow?”

“Querida, it’s fine. I’ve slept in worse places,” He took the pillow and blanket and put it on the couch's armrest before patting the open seat next to him. “You gonna sleep right now?”

“No, I can stay up to talk to you.” You sat down next to him, and you both just looked at each other, trying to find the words to keep the small talk going before sleep took you both away. Finally, you spoke and put your hand on his.

“I never got the chance to thank you, but really, I appreciate you putting that together. You know I’m too stubborn to talk so that means a lot to me.” You gave him a sweet smile, and he returned it and intertwined your hand with his.

“We all missed you. Nothing was the same without you and we didn’t realize how much you made the group better until we lost you. I didn’t want that to continue and then something happens to one of us.” You nodded your head.

“I can say the same. Other missions by myself didn’t feel right. It’s better to have a team, to have a family.” You squeezed his hand.

“But I really missed you, Y/n. I felt terrible when I couldn’t talk to you as much as I wanted to. I gave you space but it hurt not talking to you.” He was pulling at your heartstrings little by little, and you didn’t know how long it would take before you broke.

“You were always my favorite, Cat.” The nickname was enough to keep you from breaking, but you didn’t think you would last much longer.

“I always thought you preferred Santi over me.” Your eyes widened at that statement.

“Santi is a close favorite, but I would’ve never gone to the fight because you’re the only person that can get through to me.” You reassured him, and the way his cedar eyes were emitting from the lamp that was near him was making you fight harder to not shut him up with a kiss.

“You got a soft spot for me?�� He was bold, a side of him you didn’t get to see yet.

“Maybe, maybe not,” You felt the heat rush to your face, making you want to avert your eyes to avoid confirmation that he was right.

“You sure about that?” He moved closer to you, and you did the same.

“I won’t tell you yes or no.” You were smiling like an idiot, and so was he.

“I don’t need the answer, since I can see it in your eyes.” You felt impossibly closer to him than before, letting go of his hand and placing it on his leg.

“Well what do you think the answer is?” Your eyes were flickering down to his lips, and you thought about all those times you spent getting sneaky glances at him, the way he would calm you when everything seemed to be going wrong since he was level-headed. But now, all he was doing was making the flame that wouldn’t die out for him ignite into a full-fledged fire that had to be quelled with something you held back from.

“That I’m not the only one that didn’t miss you as a friend, but as something else.” After that, it didn’t seem that speaking with words was the right answer. All it took was for you to move to him, closing the gap and feeling those soft lips against yours for the first time to be the perfect response. And clearly, he liked it too, with how you two moved together without much thought. It was instantaneous, figuring out what would be an awkward moment turning into something so blissful and sweet as you were smiling in between kisses.

“How did I go this long without kissing you?” He was feverish, and you were grinning.

“I could ask myself the same question,” You responded, but it was cut short with him kissing you again, this time with you moving to lie down on the couch and him getting on top of you. And you two were content with just that, making out like schoolkids on a late night because there was nothing better than that. Threading your fingers through his hair, his hands playing with your shirt and going underneath it, sometimes moving to more heady kisses and slowing down as needed. You were in ecstasy over it all, over six months of being alone changing over the course of one night.

-

After you finally caught your breaths, it ended up with him laying down and you laying on top of him, him rubbing circles on your back. You knew that the mission was just a few days away, and you didn’t want to leave him so soon.

“I have a question.” You mumbled, sleep suddenly calling your name.

“Que paso?”

“About the mission, did you want to go with me? You don’t have to since I know it’s so soon-“

“I was planning on going anyways. No reason to go by yourself when I’m here.” He answered without a second thought, and you began to smile once more.

“Thank you.”

“Siempre. Now sleep, little one.” He kissed your forehead, and you felt safe with him. You had your heart put back together by his antics, and you got something more out of it that you weren’t expecting.

[justreckin]

20 questions for fic writers

alright @emonydeborah said hey there's a thing and i say yes (ages later)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 6

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 28,070

3. What fandoms do you write for? Honestly, whatever's catching my fancy in that moment. Of the things I've posted, The Librarians is the only fandom that I've ever even posted more than one fic for.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Raising Harry (Harry Potter/Underworld) Where Selene comes across Harry playing at the park alone at night and decides that the best idea is to sorta adopt him.

Never Say He Isn't Grateful (Agent Carter/Captain America) Howard realizes he owes Peggy big time and the best way for him to repay her is to go rescue Steve.

5 Times Ezekiel Called Eve Mum and the Time They Made it Official (The Librarians) 5+1 what it says on the tin.

Second Time Around (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Coulson went in on the Bahrain mission, May died. Oneshot re-write of the first episode that I considered expanding and have actually written other chapters for but... 🤷‍♀️

How Apep got Ezekiel Grounded for the Rest of his Natural Life (The Librarians) Season 3 Finale in the same universe as the previous Librarians fic that has a second chapter I have yet to write...

5. Do you respond to comments? I certainly try to. I'm not the best at it, but I love getting to have a conversation with anyone who likes the same things I do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Heh probably I'm Not Your Mother but even then it's a) not really all that angsty and b) mostly that I dropped a mean bomb on characters and then ran away because I have no idea what else to do with it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ...everything else? Look, canon is already regularly very mean to characters. I am here to live in my happy little fantasies where everything works out.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate per se but I'd left up an unfinished multi-chapter fic at one point and someone commented that I was the reason they'd lost faith in authors with unfinished works and is maybe more responsible for me not posting any of the myriad of things I have on my computer than I want to admit.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nah. I write more family than relationship stuff, really.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. Uh... it's not posted, but maybe the Harry Potter/Song of the Lioness that I hashed out at one point.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  Don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ha! @emonydeborah and I spitball all the time (it's wonderful) and she absolutely gets credit if that parent trap fic ever gets finished, but I don't think I'm up to the group project that would be co-writting a fic.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? the Enterprise NCC-1701 dash nothing! All jokes aside, it genuinely is the only ship I go back to on a regular basis.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uh... honestly, I don't know that I'll ever finish half the things in my WIP folder.

16. What are your writing strengths? Probably dialogue. I feel I'm pretty good at getting the character's literal voice down.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything happening around the dialogue. In my head these people are always moving around and doing things, but it always feels so clunky if I try to put that onto a page.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Maybe an individual word or two for a curse or endearment. I know enough Spanish I'd probably be comfortable writing in it. But that'd be about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Uh.... Star Trek? One sec, must check files. Yeah, pretty sure it was a short TOS thing. Hmm might need to take a look at that again, clean it up, repost...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Posted? Probably Ezekiel calling Eve mum. Not posted? Nah, actually, don't know that there is one that's not posted.

.... @the-redhead-in-a-dress and @sun-lit-roses did you do it yet, did you do it? I wanna see 😁

[iraprince]

hi ira, you're a big inspo for me! especially as a fellow adhd artist.. i often struggle with "letting go" sketches / leaving them be, i always end up focusing on each as if it has to become a full piece. i personally feel this is bc of my adhd and was wondering if you struggled with something similar, or had any advice on sketching?

thank you so much! and yeah, okay, let's chew on this one and see what we can come up with.

so i actually usually have the opposite problem: I can generate a bunch of loose sketches really quickly, but i have a really hard time buckling down and putting the focus in to take any of them all the way to being full pieces. i think sketching and leaving those sketches as-is comes easily to me because i enjoy it (as in i physically enjoy the feeling of drawing in a loose, gestural style, AND i aesthetically enjoy how unfinished sketches look), and i'm extremely accustomed to it (most workdays i start up by doing ~45-90 mins of sketches, usually a few digital pages worth). these things combine so that the habit of churning out a bunch of little images and then immediately moving on is something that's really natural to me.

HOWEVER i am def not just advising "sit yourself down and sketch for an hour and a half every day" with no other context; i think "draw every day" as ironclad advice is usually pretty clumsy and isn't always applicable to how people work best, or always effective against what actually trips people up with art stuff. i think a lot of this is abt getting mindset right!!! drilling and repetition is good later for building speed and confidence but it's not as useful until u've figured out the underlying struggle imo.

so, some thoughts:

do u keep going on the sketch bc u get distracted by the idea of the final piece, and u just get sucked in to progressing toward that? for me, sometimes i do nail a sketch and im like "ooh, i want to do something more with that!" — but because these sketches happen during my warmup time and i need to keep moving, i don't do it right away. i usually just make a note right on the canvas, or i copy/paste the sketch into a separate file to come back to later. if u get the urge to keep going on a piece bc u want it to have more, but what u Actually want is to do a few more sketches, consider scooting the sketch over into a wip file/folder/etc for later (if ur working digitally; set it aside in a physical wip folder if you're working traditionally).

do u keep going on the sketch bc ur insecure about the fact that it isn't polished, or bc u feel like it "needs" more to look good? u may be affected by The Spectre of Posting. something i have wrestled with constantly and that i think many artists wrestle with is that, even if we aren't having these thoughts consciously, whenever ur drawing there is kind of this little voice in the back of ur head that's like. "is this gonna be good enough to post. if it turns out crappy i won't want to post it and then i will have wasted all this time. will this flop? if i post this will it make me look like i'm bad at drawing? what if this isn't as good as the last thing i posted and then it looks like im getting worse" and on and on and fucking on. this is all fucking nonsense, but also it's really hard to break out of. try, as hard as you possibly can, to start becoming okay w the idea that not everything is for posting, and that if something doesn't turn out great or u don't necessarily want it to like Artistically Represent You then nobody ever has to see it, and i think u might find that a lot of the tense little subconscious urges and hangups and anxieties you have about your work will start to unravel. any statement abt your art that starts with "i feel like i need to...." or "i feel like i should...." is probably somehow tangled up with the idea of other peoples' eyes on your work, and as long as you're letting a vibe like that breathe down your neck, you really can't draw freely.

do you keep going on the sketch bc you just don't like the sketch and you think if you keep picking at it it will eventually get better? well — okay, sometimes you're right! sometimes picking at something endlessly is how u eventually get something really nice and fleshed out and cool looking. but also we are mortal creatures with a limited amount of time on this earth and i am assuming from the fact that u asked for advice that u want to create More drawings. so the only real advice for this category of sketch hangup is: dude, fuck it. make a bunch of bad sketches. do it on purpose, if that helps loosen you up! designate "fucked up stupid sketch day" and make a bunch of the most dogshit drawings you can muster. remember when earlier i said part of why this is easy for me is bc i do so MUCH of it? sometimes it's about volume. if every time u start on a sketch, it ends up being the only thing u pick at for the next few days, of COURSE it's going to start feeling super precious and high stakes to you. you're not being irrational for getting attached to stuff u spend time fussing over. but if u want to be LESS fussy and LESS attached, probably the fastest way is to just start making yourself churn a bunch of shit out, because if you've made TWELVE little sketches today who actually cares if four of them are dogshit. make MORE of them, and it becomes way less serious. u can use time limits to push yourself along, if that helps — an exercise i really like is putting my music on shuffle and then doing a bunch of little drawings where i work on each one for ONLY the duration of one song each. when the song ends, i stop working on the sketch i'm on and move on to a new one. and sometimes they're totally dogshit, because the best songs in the world are all sub 2mins! or draw yourself a bunch of very small rectangles on a sheet of paper and fit a bunch of little drawings into those. anything to help Shove u past the idea that a drawing has to, like, LOOK LIKE anything or be cute or appealing or look good in any capacity will help break up the apprehension u get about wanting sketches to come out a certain way.

i have talked ur ear off as always but i hope that some of this is helpful!! or if i totally missed the mark and none of this connects w u re: why u find this stuff challenging, pls feel free to send me another ask clarifying what u get stuck on and i'll see if i can think of any potential fixes :)

[vukovich]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @orange-peony @schmem14 and @teledild0nix for tagging me in this game! Sorry it took me eons.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

47. 46 under "Vukovich" and one that's anonymous.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

921,870

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Harry Potter.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Crane Lord of Gringotts Beauxtiful Boy "I'll Figure It Out" It'll Come Back Fearful Trill

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No, as a general rule, I don't. I just feel like it's awkward to treat an AO3 comment as a conversation starter, I guess. Like, if someone wants to talk to me, my email address and Tumblr are in my AO3 bio. I do reply to AO3 comments if there's a question about the fic. Especially if the reader says their first language isn't English. I also will reply for the purpose of harassing friends.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Return to Sender and "I love you, (too/also)" are way up there in the angst department. For "I love you, (too/also)" I actually recorded a podfic of it, and I couldn't read the ending out loud without crying so I scrapped it. NO WAIT!!! I forgot about The Seven Weasley Horcruxes. Oh, Jeebus. Apologies in advance for that one.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Eagles in Truro, just for the sake of everyone getting to have their polyamorous cake and eat it too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes. Just... yes. Big yes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, most of my fics are explicit. I'm not really sure what kind of smut I write. I feel like my smut is probably more graphic than some. More jizz dripping on the floor and errant pubes in teeth than what's fandom typical.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I can barely hold the HP universe in my head.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, several of them. I think it's cool as hell. If it's a language I'm familiar with, I help with phrasings and subtext and stuff.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah. I have a WIP collection that people can leave unfinished fics in, and then I finish them. And I'd say when I collaborate with an artist, there's enough back and forth that it counts as co-writing. Oh! And there's a WIP with @oknowkiss and @mintawasalreadytaken I'll eventually get back to writing, I swear, you guys, for real, I will finish that shower piss scene.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Joker/Harley Quinn, actually.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

OMG just one?! I have (briefly leaves to check Google Docs) about 100k in unfinished fics, plus outlines for about ten more. I think those are all going to get dumped as-is on AO3 in an anonymous collection, and I'm only going to finish the ones I'm actively posting (Seahorse, Glitch, 24k9).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Weird turns of phrase, I guess. Or at least that's what people tell me. I feel like I'm pretty good at not bogging down the pace with descriptions, but some people like to know the threadcount when they read smut. Honestly, I have way more strengths as an editor than as a writer.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Complete disregard for the em dash. If I were meant to use it, it would have a key on the standard QWERTY keyboard. I even bought an expensive-ass keyboard, programmed an em dash key for it, and still didn't use it. It wasn't meant to be. Who would like to buy a very fancy keyboard? I will also die on my double-spacing at the end of sentences hill. Going down with this typewriter skills ship. Maybe YOUR language evolves over time, but mine's stuck in 1987.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

That's one of my favorite puzzles. How comprehensible can I make the foreign language excerpt solely through the use of cognates and cues? Love it. 10/10.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

My most masterful works of fiction are letters of recommendation. But this sonnet is fun.

Tagging everybody already tagged, as well as @peachpety @@epitomereally @tontonguetonks @diligent-thunder @wheezykat @lou-ifyouwant @corvuscrowned

[dinoburger]

None of us really know either way, but I do remember speculation in the mid-late 2010s re: whether or not the TF2 comics were leading into something space-related (between what happened to Sniper's mom, the spaceships located in several in-game maps, and the perpetually-unfinished valve map rd_asteroid that used to be in the game's playable map rotation). Entirely guesswork, plus a dash of hope that Valve would continue the storyline post-comics.

:\ yeah, though, ultimately… the comics really shook up the status quo of the game and the established setting, but it's hard to see what conclusion they could've been barrelling toward. Real intrigued by that comics/Helen infographic you posted a few days ago -- I've likewise been puzzling over what Helen's debt could be (for all of the comics' hiatus and then some, lmao). Either way, I don't believe there's enough foreshadowing for us to have figured out whatever-it-is, and then there's the eternal question of "What Comes After?" (both in-universe and regarding Valve's seemingly-dwindling interest in the IP) looming over it all.

(like tumblr user milfy, I'm not really sure what comic 7 could've done to conclude things in a satisfactory way. ngl, sometimes I wish we'd gotten something set during gravel war or mvm -- at the risk of sounding overly critical, I'll admit I personally feel like the fandom missed out on getting some more gravel war era/group-focused content.

though with the then-ongoing [and, hell, somehow-currently-ongoing] status of the game itself, I also feel like the comics ending on too Final a conclusion would've soured some folks' milk. perhaps this is why I continue to entertain the "it was leading into another update" train of thought -- the idea of the comics smacking a big old super-conclusive "The End" onto everything seems unlikely to me, but I cannot fathom what would have come afterwards. or how any currently-raised plot threads would be resolved, if at all.)

… This ask was a whole lotta reiteration/conjecture, so I want to add that I love the TF2 stuff you've been drawing/writing. The classic team and Conagher family lore are so, so fascinating to me, so it's been Like Christmas Morning to me for months lmao. have a good one -🍊

oh man, I would've loved to have more stuff that actually delved into developing the characters during the Gravel wars/MvM... hell, they could've even played off the Scream Fortress shenanigans and have like, a big, ridiculous magical adventure

I also didn't know about the space stuff, that also could've been a cool direction

there's part of me that wants to hope they had some idea of what they were doing but the more I look at it, the more the plot feels like it dissolved more into "stuff that feels really big and important happening" rather than one coherent mystery to unravel, which... the journey should also be important. This is the stuff people criticize Marvel movies for, the twist becomes more important than the actual story. Putting all the eggs in that basket.

I definitely agree... idk like. I think they even could've gotten away with having different canons and not feeling like they had to pin the ultimate resolution of the entire game to the comic, either. Comics can be like that! Different iterations and interpretations of the same universe, that's cool too! IPs get revised and retconned and improved all the time, tbh I think like... the current obsession people have with canonicity can be grating at times.

I think in some ways it's even harder to get past that with an inconclusive work like this because yeah, it does end up being that everyone hopes whatever the conclusion is will be worth the wait, that it'll scratch that itch, and the longer folks go imagining some grand conclusion the higher expectations end up being. You can't really blame them either, at a point, because that's all they really have to go off.

and thank you so much! I love those guys, so I'm grateful when it's appreciated!

[chaitigers]

Ivan infodump

OK SO i posted my little guy Ivan (big deer guy) and as i mentioned in his post, hes a mix of different characters i've like found interesting and that had interesting concepts that i wanted to explore in a character so yeah I decided to make ivan!

Ivan's like part of this universe im a part of w some buddies and he's like a werecreature (i cant rlly go super in depth w the lore here because i dont rlly know it that well LHDFCBDVLKHB) he was turned into one like after some stuff happened in his life that left him broke so he needed money to like get back on his feet and doing that (essentially making himself a test subject for this thing some scientists were doing) was the only way he could. Heres where the first theme i wanted to explore comes in, Guilt and Debt.

If anyone's read crime and punishment, the main character Raskolnikov essentially k1lls his crusty musty landlady so he doesnt have to owe her his rent anymore which imo, slay, but at the same time he is riddled with this immense guilt and like questioning himself as to wether or not committing a crime and a deadly sin (because hes also catholic so another LAYER of guilt added)

Raskolikov gets sent to prision to like seve his sentence but most of the book is like him debating with himself wether or not what he did was right, because he mrd3red someone that was a pest both to him and everyone else who owed rent to her, and she was a busive and mean so like thats someon no one would miss because she was bad so he's good for killing her, it was for the greater good, but at the same time in the eyes of the law Raskolnikov is a criminal, as well as in the eyes of religion because he murdered someone and thats an unforgivable act and hes supposed to go to hell for that.

In Ivan's case, his guilt lies in the fact that he was essentially the reason him a nd his family's business went into banktrupcy, if he was never born he woudln't have caused much trouble to his parents. He's the son of a violin maker, meaning business is not as big as theyd wish it to be especially as violins are expensive as shit because theyre handmade works of art that only few know the trade of making them and stuff. Ivan obviously inherited the knowledge from his father, helped him in the shop and helped to provide for his own family even as a child, but he still carries that guilt of being the reason niether one of his parents could fulfill any of the desires they had due to him being just "a burden" in his tiny little head.

In the debt aspect, he is quite literally indebted, left with the previous unpaid bills and unfinished projects his father left after he passed, and left with a bunch of customersn his father still owed things to like money, instruments and materials. To Ivan, thats the way he's repaying the hardships he made his parents go through. the family burdens are passed down generation by generation as well, because many of most of the monetary debts came from people of the past that made those bad desicions and left their descendants to deal with them. Ivan is determined to fulfill these depts, at all costs, and eventually that costs him his humanity.

NOW ONTO HANNIBAL!

I mostly wanted to do the c@nn1balsm as a metaphor for all consuming, obsessive love with Ivan , especially the love for his craft (because in the end he loves what he's doing, hes a passionate violin maker) but literally in the way that he loves as well. He isnt that bad looking, at least according to him (in my head his face claim is jacob elordi specifically in saltburn and like post euphoria and the kissing booth) but he does feel like he's hard to love because of all the guilt hes carrying for shit he didnt even do (like be incredibly indebted to the state). hes super inexperienced in love, has only had one long lasting relationship, and that relationship is one that consumed him so much that he couldnt see himself living apart from that person he loved after they broke up. Ivan has an anxious attachment style, always has and hes like a kitten with separation anxiety, he will wail and scream until he gets back to that person he feels safe with even if it means that he's actively pushing them away because of how clingy he is.

all that to say that he ate his ex boyfriend because if he couldnt be with ivan then no one could have him

So yeah that is like almost all of Ivan's story! i love him dearly and rlly want to expand more on him in the future!

[excadrill]

tagged by @yj-98 ilyyy 🫶🫶🤍

RULES: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

tag as many people as their are wips.. eep.. sorry i'd put this under a cut but it's not working on mobile 😭

ankhgiveaway.sai [i held an art giveaway in february and havent finished the prizes even tho i keep looking at them and going 'i need to and Want to finish this..']

yuukigiveaway.sai [same as above but the person who requested this one deactivated so i. don't know if i'm still gonna finish it]

sonomomo.sai [my current priority 'For Me' wip.. ive shared this wip w some people but ive never done a proper piece for the 'cycle of life and death' thing for them so that's what this one is..💙❤️]

exozinewip5.sai [pokemon zine oc piece, not supposed to share zine wips so idk if i should say more but it's of my beloved gymsona.. this zine will be free + digital and i'll ofc be promoting it more when it's done but it's soooo cute keep your eyes out for this one :3c '5' not bc im contributing multiple pieces but bc this piece is big and slightly intimidating for me so i keep saving different versions when i do major merges]

pocketzine-nymble.sai [another pokemon zine piece, so i can't really say more But it's not the only thing im contributing to this zine, ive just finished all my other stuff already]

oczine-thumbs.sai [thumbs for an oc zine i signed up for that i'll probably drop out of bc im not feeling like a vibe w everyone else there >w>;;; ]

philip.sai [philip piece ive had sitting around basically since i finished W.. about a year ago now i think ? but i transferred it to my '23 wips folder bc i still wanna finish it..it was supposed to be a 'this one will be quick and easy so i'll have smthn i Finished this month outside of zine stuff' but. zine stuff took up all my time and energy oops]

mrtourism.sai [this one's a silly post-canon kirihiko art i've Also had sitting around for like a year. i chip away at this one sometimes but then keep restarting bc im unsatisfied with the lines i wish i could just sit down and finish it bc i Love Him]

platform.sai [ummm silly ryotaro thing i drew after watching the den-o final stage ^__^ not a high priority one but it's cute so like. maybe one day]

punkjackhelmet.sai [file name was bc i was originally doing helmet studies before it turned into a full sketch. punkjack with the beat buckle bc i was doing this right after his special came out 🎃🫶]

colourwheel.sai [ummm well. yeah im not good at finishing art memes when theyre still on trend. i did all the sketches for these but i probably won't finish at this point..]

poppyangel.sai [poppy ex-aid i sketched as a break between big stuff the other day that i like a lot so. maybe will finish but might just post unfinished if i cant find the energy to get to this one sooner. feel bad that i like ex-aid so much but don't have any clean art done for it..]

millirider.sai [toku oc planning :3 i was saying last night i finally figured the helmet out which ive been struggling with for ages so hopefullyyyy i get around to doing a proper ref sheet]

im not at my laptop rn so im doing this off the top of my head but i THINK that's everything.. tagging umm @ankhisms @heartvisor @madaraki @circeancity @horrorcomedies @yu3s @pleuvoire @kosukeiichi @danothan @seashrine @asticassia @eclipse-song @kirider only if you guys wanna 🤍🤍

[x-authorship-x]

Hey torship.. do u think ppl binge reading on long ongoing fanfictions are bad? I was just finished bingeing a work and another reader commented before me like " oh wow icb i've just finished this (200k+series) in 2 days, what am i gonna binge read now?" And i was like, whoa so honest bro, would that hurt the feeling of the author or not? If it was said like that..

Hey✨

Hmmm, I've not really thought much on it, not enough to have a solid answer off the cuff. I'll try and muddle through it but, short answer? Don't we all 'binge' read?

Long answer is a bit more scrambled but stick with me.

I mean, you gotta join an ongoing fic at some point. If you mean specifically the type of binging where readers wait until updates pile up so they can read big chunks of the story in one go (I have readers who do this, you poor things will be on tenterhooks for decades at this point lol) or, maybe, they wait until the story is completed to start... That's a little different but it's not bad or wrong. I think it's more that, when you read that way, you're distancing yourself from the author's ongoing creativity.

Now, quick disclaimer, a fic is a fic and you can read it however you like, I binge stuff all the time. But fanfic is different from published OG work because the reader DOES have that opportunity to, kinda, participate in the creative process, to be there every step - or update - of the way.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this question, it's about how you approach your reading as much as how you view your writing. To me, as an author with a majority of ongoing works AND breaks in my updating, comments like that are a bit... Sweet and sour. This person binged my fic, maybe even the whole series or all of my works, and now they're left adrift with all these cliffhangers and emotions and the track is hanging, suspended and unfinished, and it's hard to scale off the ride by yourself. I always feel feral when I come up for air after a binge like that, like one of those pics of deer in dark grasses and the eyes are all lit up by the torch. You devoured my work like an animal, all fingers and teeth? I'm delighted!

But the listlessness of an unfinished work binge can also, intentionally or not, sting. Like, yeah, I know that was a lot to leave you hanging with, ain't it rough? (But please don't beg me for more because then the pressure makes it worse) and oh you read all 50K in one day, so you must've been so gripped? (You only commented on the last chapter, you ate that five course meal with a ladle and you mashed all the dishes together and did you even notice the care and garnish?)

My slowly revealed banquet becomes a buffet, whether you're picking at it or gorging. It's a different experience altogether. That's not your fault and it's not mine. It just is.

Most people don't pace themselves when they start a new show, you watch everything you can get your grubby paws on before jumping over to AO3, so why does binge reading become a thing in fandom? Because, for most people, it's the slower process that really makes the experience so positive. I've never published a work that was rubber-stamped finished before the readers ever saw it, so I'll be honest that I'm talking out of my ass as per usual, but I don't think I'd want to just.... Post all the chapters together. I want the reactions, I want the anticipation, I want the readers to travel with me.

To come back to your actual example tho, Neptune, "what am I gonna binge read now?" Is a comment that I would largely overlook by itself. I mean, if that's it, nothing about enjoying the work or thanking the author or anything to soften it, then it's a bit of a micro. Up there with letting the door swing behind you instead of holding it for the person after. (No harm really meant, just in your own world)

If it's part of a comment that expresses that the reader might've shoved down those five courses without savouring the flavours but they just REALLY loved that food, then it's more than fine, it's a big compliment! You were so busy eating that you barely paused for breath! And binging isn't a prerequisite to not commenting or savouring! It's like a mukbang, they love the flavours but fucking hell can they pack down that food in one sitting.

If it's rude, entitled, then I wouldn't give it the time of day. Putting something out there does not mean you're entitled to getting something back, even a smile or thanks. That doesn't, however, mean that it's not poor manners. And, if someone comes into my house and wolfs down my five course banquet before huffing with impatience or immediately leaving for their next meal, that's only a reflection of them and not me. I put the meal out, I can't tell people how to eat it.

This metaphor is running away from me lmao

TLDR: everyone binges, it's not a bad thing. But your manners matter and we should all be mindful that you're enjoying something for free; if the author wanted that conversation between chapters, if the author thinks binging is a compliment, if the author doesn't care at ALL. It's not a crime to be "late" to an ongoing fic, it's not a crime to read how you want.

Personally? I binge a lot, I try to comment as much as I can, and I try to remember that fandom is about community. I hadn't thought too much on the topic before this, tbh, and I don't even know if this makes any sense but I tried to sound it out for you guys anyway.

[skania]

Hey! I recently read good part of your posts and I love them as a big AquKane fan :D they're amazing!

Do you think that even with Aqua being so deep into revenge, there is still a chance Akane could save him and even be the endgame? If so, how do you think she would be able to save him? If not, what do you think would take for Aqua to realize everything, that he doesn't have to live for revenge anymore? Curious to hear your thoughts about this!

Sorry if it doesn't make sense and sorry for so many questions xD I love hearing opinions about stuff about my otp so yeah!

Thank you anon!! :D

Do you think that even with Aqua being so deep into revenge, there is still a chance Akane could save him and even be the endgame?

Absolutely! I get the feeling that we'll know whether Aqua and Akane are going to be endgame pretty soon after they start interacting again. If Aka shows that there's unfinished business between them and that the people around them see it, I'd say that it's pretty safe to assume we're heading down the AquaKane endgame road.

One thing is for sure though, Aqua has to be saved. The manga can't end any other way. Since Akane's desire to save him transcends romance, I'm confident she will play an instrumental role in making it possible regardless of who ends up with who.

If so, how do you think she would be able to save him? If not, what do you think would take for Aqua to realize everything, that he doesn't have to live for revenge anymore?

I think it depends on whether Akane right now is just aiming to stop Aqua's plan, or if she's also going to try and get rid of the roof of the issue; aka, all the complexes Aqua carries with him.

In any case, I think that for Aqua to to truly accept that he doesn't have to live for revenge anymore, he needs to accept that he isn't to blame for anything and that his life does matter.

For this to happen, I feel like Aka needs to free him from the guilt he carries after the death of his first mother. I think this could be accomplished by letting Aqua come to a point where he can accept Ai's motherly love for him. After all, Ai is someone who risked her career to deliver her babies because she desperately wanted a family, and she's also someone who died feeling fulfilled because of how much she loved her children. If Aqua is capable of accepting that he is worthy of Ai's love for him, then that may help him realize that Goro's mother likely died loving him and wanting the best for him. Knowing Aka, chances are that she literally died telling baby!Goro "I love you".

However, for Aqua to be able to accept Ai's motherly love for him, he needs to deal with the the guilt he feels surrounding her death. He needs to accept that there's nothing he could've done for her, and that in fact he already did all he could: he gave her someone to love. I feel like this roadblock could be lifted by Ruby. Goro felt powerless around Sarina, like he could do nothing for her, when in fact he was one of the two lights that kept her going. The same thing can be said about Ai, Aqua felt powerless, like he could do nothing for her, when he was in fact one of the two lights that let Ai experience true love. So in this way, Ruby is in the best place to tell him just how meaningful his existence is.

Once Aqua's guilt is alleviated, he should have an easier time embracing his own worth and striving to be happy. I feel like it's only then that Aqua will be truly saved.

But of course, stopping Aqua's self-destructive plan is already a very good start 😂

[lenivyssenseoflevity]

Important Information

Unfortunately I have some trouble with my PC due to a defect… Which really fucks me up bc it totally sucks! In fact, I was already working on a new Rylan edit that was almost finished and should have been published soon, which sucks even more! 😩 I was already looking forward to sharing this work with you… In addition, I have plenty of other ideas and other unfinished but already started Rylan edits/works in the pipeline. But now due to the defect I have to pause them all… 😭😢😥

This means I won't be able to post/release new Rylan edits anytime soon, which pisses me off a lot. Especially since I probably won't be able to fix the problem until September (because of spare parts) So which specifically means I won't be able to create and post new Rylan stuff until September. I‘m so sorry about this… 

So to all my followers and Rylan enthusiasts out there, I just wanted to let you know in case you're wondering that I haven't posted anything yet and maybe worried that I've left the fandom as well. That said, don't worry bc I definitely haven't left the fandom (nor will I) I just have trouble with shitty techy stuff (where the heck is Dylan. I need him asap!!!!) So don't worry, I promise to come back with new Rylan edits as soon as possible, for sure!

Hopefully it's worth the wait (and hopefully you haven't left the fandom by then either) So I hope you stay tuned for my comeback.

Yes, it's a big down on my mood and I'm really angry 😡, but that doesn't change the fact that I still love Rylan and this entire fandom very much. So I'll definitely be returning with Rylan, even if it means there's even fewer people left in the fandom than there already are. I am and will always be a part of the fandom. So even tho I won't be posting anything for a while, I will continue to be there and continue to cheer on other Rylan Artists 🥰💕

And I won't be completely gone after all, bc at least I'll keep writing, publishing and translating my Rylan One Shots! So that doesn't stop (you can't stop me from Rylan!!!! Do you hear, you stupid freakin techy stuff?!?!?!) bc I can still write with my other devices. I just can’t make edits  bc I need my PC and specific programms for that. Maybe it slows me down a bit in writing, but yeah anyways, new one shots and translations will still coming!  So check out my AO3 or Wattpad if you want to. Thanks for all your love and support 💕🌸🖤🤍 and what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger right? 

And sorry for the long post. I had to let my frustration out a little bit. 

By the way here is a little sneak peak of what I was working on. 😅

[skepsiss]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @strangersteddierthings, I've never even thought about half of these questions, so.... we're gunna go on a journey together. I MISSED SEVERAL QUESTIONS LMAO. LEMME UPDATE.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18 (I only post like 1/3 of my fics on AO3)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

66,922. I pay such little attention to this kinda stuff xD

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A lot... and a lot more than what is listed on my AO3. If we're friends I'll literally just message you a 2k+ fic in a DM for funsies.

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (8)

Overwatch (Video Game) (5)

Teen Wolf (TV) (1)

Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021) (1)

Critical Role (Web Series) (1)

Promare (2019) (1)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) (1)

DC Comics / Batman (Tim Drake / Kon-El)

Orphan Black

Marvel (Steve/Tony)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Basket Ball Shorts

Roadrat: The Fire that Covered the World

The Comfort of Warmth (Lio/Galo)

Fifty-fifty (Roadhog / Junkrat)

Perspective (Caleb / Essek)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. As soon as I see them I will reply with a thank you or to engage with someone's question/musings/etc.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably a Roadrat one. It's been a while since I've read my work, but The Things They Lost is a Roadrat fic where I explored a bunch of like... when Junkrat lost his arm and stuff like that. Brutal, tbh. Next closest is my Alucard (OT3) Castlevania fic where he is BIG SAD about Trevor and Sypha not being there. Nights Spent Alone.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

UUuhhhuhuhuh..... I mostly write sad shit LOL. Milkshakes has a happy ending. It's a 2 part modern-day Steddie fic about the boys asking each other out on a date over Instagram.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never seen any hate on my fics before.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Uhh, yeah. I do. PWP or With Plot. I like full stories that have smut that BELONGS there, but then we've got just straight-up PWP. That is what Basketball short is tbh.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, never written a crossover. I've written lots of AUs though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Dunno how I'd figure that out.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Dunno what that would look like tbh.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddie; for right now. My other top 3 are Harley/Ivy, Tim/Kon-El, and Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

NO IDEA. Lol, all my unfinished WIPs are either ones I have no interest in finishing (Roadrat), or ones I can complete faith in being able to finish (Steddie)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Speed. I can compose a story very quickly and put it together.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I never promote myself/share. I'm really bad at sharing my works. Additionally, I'm bad at finishing things before I lose interest.... eep.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Uuhh maybe. I def have some Ancient Greek and Latin in my up-coming Robin (Stobin platonic) fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm not sure... maybe Batman (Tim/Jason or Tim/Kon). I RP'd A LOT from ages 13-18 and had like 5-8 rps going at once for a whole bunch of fandoms. (Naruto, OCs in the Star Wars universe, Tim/Kon, and more I can't remember atm).

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooohhh, I dunno. I'm bad at picking favourites. Right now I'm pretty proud of my Because I Want You Steddie fic. It's Steve and Eddie as 30-year-olds with kids. They broke up in their 20s and are trying to get back together in their 30s. Eddie has a complete breakdown in it, but Steve is there to tell him that he loves him.

I don't think about this stuff at all xDDD Fic writing is just a pass time for me. This will be the first time EVER in over 18 years of writing fic that I've EVER participated in an exchange/Big Bang. I'll tag @medusapelagia @oh-stars @br0ck-eddie @kallisto-k