#but yeah i wanted to post all that unfinished stuff in one big post and i even censored the sexy stuff

[dragonfly0808]

Hiatus

So… this is a post I’ve been debating with myself these past 2/3 weeks on whether to make or not.

Some of yall may have noticed that I’ve been taking quite a few breaks from s4 and I have unfortunately just finally allowed myself to acknowledge that I’ve hit a bit of a writing block when it comes to my Winx Club rewrite.

I’ve had a few frustrations during s4 (even though I’ve managed to keep my writing up to my own personal standards, it’s been very difficult) and- despite being halfway through the season, unlike past seasons I still have no idea what I’m going to do with s5 and it’s just been getting to me.

And now I am forced to accept that if I keep forcing myself to churn out chapters and stressing out over keeping you all waiting until I’m satisfied with every chapter, the only thing I’ll do is kill my creativity and my love for this rewrite.

I’ve been working on this rewrite for nearly 3 years and it kinda low-key shames me to say that I am officially placing it on hiatus.

To me ‘taking a break’ and ‘hiatus’ are 2 completely different things, I know I’ve taken breaks before but I always had some vague idea of when I’d return but this time… I just don’t know.

I have been working on my Original Novel and works for other fandoms that have just been filling me with inspiration in a way I haven't been able to feel with Winx Club for a bit now.

I hope I have built up enough trust over these past 3 years for you all to believe me when I say that I will be back. I am not the type to leave things unfinished, especially a story that means so much to me and that I am so very proud of and that has helped me grow so much as a writer and has helped me get through some difficult times and express certain emotions and grief in a way I never could’ve if I hadn’t dived into this 3 long years ago.

I was really hoping to post chapters for Xmas and New Years as I have past years but I just can’t- HOWEVER, on January 28th, the third anniversary of Veiled Wings and Shattered Panoramas, I will post… something. I don’t know if it will be a chapter or not but I will do something for the anniversary.

If you wanna know what I’ll be up to; I will be working on my Original Novel since I have finally landed on exactly what idea I want to work on. I will also be working on 2 projects, one for ATLA (Zutara post-canon self-indulgent thingy) and another one that I honestly don’t know if I’ll go through with since it’d be a pretty big project and I’m still thinking about how I’d go about it, but that I am very inspired and excited about.

So yeah, thank you all for your never ending support and- again, I WILL BE BACK, this is not an abandonment of the rewrite, it’s just me having to prioritize my mental health and protect both my love for writing and my love for the rewrite. I’ll be going through my inbox this next week and answer a bunch of stuff that I just haven’t really looked through in a while.

Thank you so much for understanding and for your support. I hope you will wait for the return of the rewrite and that maybe you will give my other projects a chance when I post them. I will be posting a lot of my inner thoughts on the rewrite and my other projects chapters + thoughts on my Ko-fi if you wanna check that out.

I wish you all Happy Holidays!

With eternal love and gratitude,

Yours Truly, Dragonfly

[pichupurin]

tumblr wont let me post my smutty human au zasr :(((

[eerna]

can you explain your art techniques a little bit further? I just saw your post about arcane helping you drop line art and stuff, and I wanted to understand better (as someone trying to get into digital art)

Sureee, ty for asking! :)

For the first 7 years of my digital art journey I imitated the comicbook-style art tutorials and techniques artists I liked used. This means that I would start out with a sketch, draw the lineart on another layer on top of the sketch, hide the sketch, use solid blocks of color on separate layers for the coloring, and add lighting effects on top of it all. I was never really happy with how it turned out, and I often felt like I shouldn't have gone past the colored sketch phase because the full render would lose so much life. I used pretty much the same brushes I use now, aside from some textured ones, but not to their full potential because they were painting brushes being used for flat shading. Here's a few examples of fully rendered stuff from 2020-2021:

Then, I realized I do NOT have to do things I don't wanna do, and I can totally remove any steps from the process that I wish! I experimented for a while until I settled on a new thing that worked for me. And so my current process is: draw a sketch, color it all on one layer (base colors), add light effects if needed, add another layer on top of everything, and paint until satisfied with the level of rendering. Then I add optional effects, such as fires or patterns. This means I leave the sketch layer visible, so I have to clean it and base colors with erasers as I work, but it enables me to preserve the sketchy energy. The "all rendering on one layer" approach frees my hand and I don't feel pressure to render everything separately and perfectly, which in turn, ironically, makes my art look more detailed because the eye compensates for unfinished bits. In addition, the line between a colored sketch and a fully rendered piece is much thinner, which means I don't have to commit to completing anything, and that is a big deal for an insecure person prone to artblocks. If I lose interest halfway through the lineart-and-blocks-of-color process, I am left with an unusable piece. If I do it halfway through the painting process, I get a charming, messy piece a la my recent Chappell Roan art (I left the armor unfinished, and yet it doesn't clash with the rest of the art). Here's a recreation I did to show what a big difference the different approach makes:

So why didn't I stop doing lineart sooner? I did try, but my attempts tried to replicate what I did when painting traditionally, instead of adjusting to my digital abilities, so it usually looked whack. I remember showing my friends the Rito Village piece back in 2019, which was painted based on a screenshot from the game, and one of them telling me "Don't go back to lineart!" I was like "YEAH I am NOT going back to lineart!!! I will keep painting!!!" Only to realize that painting landscapes with already stylized references and painting portraits were completely different. Here's a painting portrait from one of those trial and error attempts. Later I realized the mistake was working on TOP of the sketch, as I would have done for traditional work, instead of both below AND on top of it - after all, my intention was to preserve the life of the sketch, which was impossible when I couldn't even see it. I also didn't understand color values (or honestly, any color aspects) very well, resulting in some low-contrast, unappealing blobs.

So yeah, my advice to any beginner digital artist is: experiment and figure out what works for you. Think about what makes you happy when creating, and build your process around it. Also, keep researching art theory and applying it to your work. Good luck to you and all other digital artists~

[rin-and-jade]

Gripped by Glue Trap: a Post about Front Stuck & Lock

I get it, there's no such thing as an actual big glue trap with being stuck outside as a system,, but oftentimes its gonna feel that way because whatever was done... that glue won't even struggle one bit, only we do. That frustration is what we all have when switching is not an option.

But do you ever think this glue is defeatable? It latches hard and wears you out the more you try to get out of the situation,, so you might think not.. yet i do! That's what this post is going to be about folks, getting your little bug-self free with my secret trick from another human glue trap ensnared in their house.

But.. what is it actually?

Generally, as a system, we facilitate each other's strengths and weaknesses by switching in and out, as all those parts are not wholly integrated compared to a singlet. And. Uh oh. You're stuck and can't get out? You're trapped!.. that little drop of sap caught your leg and now you couldn't leave, even if you wanted to. Though you still can express to your buddies that you need help or etc. (and, this is called front stuck)

Or sometimes, we can even get stranded away from our pack (as in stress, or anything that worsens internal communication), wondering alone, and stood on a nasty manmade trap that caught you without mercy. This time, you're immobile and out of reach to call for reinforcements (now, this one is called front lock)

Sap? Glue? What's the diff??

To put it simply, being stuck means being unable to get out from the front or surrender the control to another part. While being locked off is the worser version of being stuck because not only you cannot surrender the control, there is barely any stream of communication you can connect to, or nonexistent, head silent and all that.

The only similarity they have is how it greatly impedes the fronter's capability to ease in or out from front,, if not, impossible.

These two also happen for different possible reasons, such as:

↓ Stuck ↓ 

Unfinished tasks

Goal/wants not met yet

Ongoing role duty (for protectors, hosts, etc)

Reluctance handing control/fear of blacking out

Mild stressors (like anxiety)

.. and more

↓ Locked ↓

Dissociation

Fight/flight response

Overwhelm

Bigger stressors

Major life changes

Re-occurring trauma

.. and more

Just a reminder that all systems are different, and these same reasons that causes to be stuck/lock will result in an opposite reaction such as rapid switching or being blurry! This post is mainly for those who experience stuck/lock.

Then, how do i get my leg out?!

I can tell you that, but i have to explain how this ordeal happened in the first place so it'll make sense, bare with me;

You know the parasympathetic (rest) and sympathetic (fight/flight) response, yeah? These two responses flicks on depending when there's safety or presented threats. Now, DMN is a part of the parasympathetic response, the full name is Default Mode Network, which is fully responsible for.. well.. default stuffs such as mind wandering, planning, thinking inwards,, those typical things that happen when you're bored. This is also the reason you why can facilitate better communication with other parts compared to when, let's say, being busy with tasks.

Know it or not, sometimes our mind has to wander a little bit in order to chat with other parts of ourself, and stress snaps us out of that relaxed state in purpose of focusing whats at outside, rather than inside, which where everything system-y lies at. Some do not get affected and still can function as-if, so understand how your system works and use that to the advantage.

How to hack yourself from fight/flight to rest mode again? Via vagus nerve stimulation! Not sure if you ever heard of this word, but the vagus is one part of the cranial nerves that is responsible for the activation of this parasympathetic response..! It's like the oil to the glue, because it hijacks the adhesive properties with something so viscous that it binds to it instead of you!! --

Here are some activities you can do to disable the glue:

Gurgle water, hum, or sing: this is because the vagus is located around your neck, and can be easily stimulated that way.

Watch something: redirecting yourself with a distraction can ease you temporarily, giving time to calm down, which brings you out of the grips of stress.

Listen to music: another way if you don't have anything to watch, even better if you put on soothing, slower songs.

Move around: get those pented up anxiety or restlessness out! movement equals expression, this also activates the vagus nerve.

Breathe deeply: rebalance the vagus by breathing in and out slowly, this nerve is also responsible for your breathing pace too, so giving a little push of balance will create a domino effect for your nerve to work.

Unfocus your eyes: or, another way to do it is to focus more on the peripheral vision rather than the vocal point. This is a way to poke the same nerve's functions, oddly can work as a booster to make yourself slightly dissociated/disconnected which facilitates switches or a general break/distraction.

Solve/asses it: it will be nothing if you do not tackle the thing you are very stressed out about, which can extend how long you'll be stuck,, so use these tips above to regain self control and tackle them with me, or your trusted friends, or even alone after examining what could be done! Talking to someone also helps, even if there's nothing productive being done.

Take it easy and break it down: this one is if you're on a role job and things are being difficult, incase you're overwhelmed, remember to do it step by step, no need to be rash about getting back in first, that time will come as long you focus whats in front.

Remember, fight/flight brings us out from clarity and rational thinking, thanks to our limbic part of the brain who is primed for survival and instincts. Be more gentle with yourself, as you could be more irritable, moody, or resorting to less-safe coping mechanisms, focus on calming down before proceeding the situation.

Takeaway

So, what will you do if you're stuck next time? Don't forget to make a plan to deal this sticky situation, especially for those who are often stuck, this practice will practice your vagus nerve to be less susceptible, turning off because of stress,, giving you a better stress window and tolerance before succumbing once more.... to the good ol' glue.

Lastly, it is possible to be stuck/lock for months or years, which is an indicator of underlying long-term issues that needs to be addressed. If anyone needs some tips for this, ring me on the DMs as these practices rarely work for this type.

Oh, and, what do you guys think? What else i had not mentioned? Do you have anything to discuss with me on this topic? Let's do that! I hope this suffice in helping you tackle the next time problems arise.

Happy straddling lil' ant.

- j

[pudding-parade]

Louisiana by MURPHTHESURF

"But Pudding," you say, "why do I need another swamp world when I have Twinbrook?" To which I say, "Because this one is better."

It's an unpopulated 1024x1024 world, with about 60 total lots, fairly evenly split between residential and community lots. It has a lot of spawners, particularly rock/gem ones, but it has all of them except the Island Paradise and Into the Future ones. Despite the name of the world, I don't think it particularly looks like Louisiana, other than it has lots of water/wetlands. There are lots of fog emitters. You can almost smell the methane.

The lots are either EA lots (possibly edited; I'm not familiar enough with them to judge) or ones that the creator downloaded from other creators and then placed in the world. In particular, many of the lots were created by ruthless_kk, who creates very nice, very detailed, cc-free lots. The creator has meshed the lots together pretty well, so that the world feels cohesive even though the lots came from many different sources. And the scenery that the creator built is lovely.

The world has no CC. As far as I can tell, the Store content that it has is mostly in the lots created by ruthless_kk, and it's all just decorative stuff, so if you don't have it, it's probably not a big deal. Beyond that, I'm pretty sure it requires all EPs except Into the Future. It also needs the Town Life stuff pack because it uses the gym lot from that pack, so if you don't have that pack, that lot will have the wrong windows, and the equipment will be replaced with base game stuff, etc. If you don't have that pack and don't want to fix the lot, you could just plunk down a different gym instead.

There's more pics and info behind the cut, but first: As usual, the title of this post is a link to the world's incredibly useless Exchange page. If you'd rather not deal with the Exchange/the launcher/sims3packs, I have upload a .world file here. If you download the .world file it goes in your game install files under GameData - Shared - NonPackaged - Worlds.

First up, some Edit Town/map view pics of the world. Each set shows roughly half of the world.

Basically, one half is the more "urban" part and the other half is more rural. So, you can have your sim live in one of the Late Night apartments in the city part. Or they can live in a nice little farm like this one...

...which is set up as a winery. Or they can live in lovely Victorian/Second Empire house like the one in the pic above the cut, of which there are several in the world. Or they can live in...

...a swamp shack, complete with its own dumpster and a bayou "beach" in the back. Or they can live in...

...an ultra-modern place? Yeah, there are two such lots and while they are very nice lots, I don't think they fit in all that well. If I was playing the world I'd replace them. But, if you like ultra-modern houses, there you are.

The world doesn't have an abundance of houses, but the houses that it has are all fully furnished and ready to go, and there are definitely enough of them to get you started. There are a number of empty lots, particularly in two areas of the world that are somewhat unfinished. There are also areas where it would be easy to add new lots. All of which you might want to do because the world has only two lots that are starter-priced, and the swamp shack above is not one of them. The lot on the right side of this pic is one of them:

So, if you aren't as liberal with the free real estate cheat as I am, you might need more starter lots. But if you are liberal with free real estate, here are a few more of your options:

And here are a few non-EA community lots:

This is a dive bar with a junkyard theme, complete with junk piles in back. (There is an actual junkyard, too.) It has a professional bar, seating, and shuffleboard. Other entertainment in the world includes a a disco, a fusion lounge, and a dance club. It does have the "event center" from Showtime but no other Showtime venues, so those would need to be added if you want to play the Showtime careers.

This is a nectary, though it's designated as a small park. It has all the grape plants, a little place for weddings, nectar sales, a nectar-making machine, and a "restaurant" with a food register and a buffet table. I'm pretty sure this lot is placed backwards, though, because the back of it faces the road. I don't know if this was done deliberately, but I think it would look better flipped around.

This is a little comic shop, in a more unfinished section of the city part of the world. It has the science objects from University Life on the top floor.

Other community lots in the world are:

Festival (the Sunset Valley one)

A Chinese garden

A fire station

A gym

A consignment shop

A small resort

A salon

Several parks/fishing spots, including the butterfly dome from Bridgeport

So, there are some common lot types missing -- a beach, a library, a public pool, etc. -- but since there are a good number of empty lots in the world, these could be added, whether you build them yourself or plop down EA or downloaded ones.

Overall, this is a nice world. Parts of it are unfinished with some empty lots placed but not much else. There are some lots that have community designations but are empty. (For instance, there's a lot designated as a public pool, but it's empty.) But the scenery is quite beautiful, and if you need a smallish, ready-to-play world, this might be one for you, especially if you happen to like Victorian-style houses.

We'll finish off with some more scenery pics, because it's a pretty world.

[unsurewhatusernametoput]

I love having to explain to people exactly how obsessed with SIX I was

like my friends will point out when it’s coming to my city and I’m like “yes honey I’ve known, I’ve known since 8 months ago and I have tickets don’t worry” and then when I mentioned six fanfiction and my friend was like “wait people write fanfiction about it?” “Yes and I’ve read so so many that I had to read wattpads fics FUCKING WATTPAD, if you read the six the musical fics on there you would know….I also know like every ship of the six and probably have read a diff of it” “PEOPLE SHIP THEM?!?!? Aren’t they like cousins?” “Yes but luckily the fandom is small enough no one ships the incest ✌️😜”

then he went on to tell me I was the person that drew Miku binder Tomas Jefferson 😭😭😭

and then when someone sends u a six meme and u have to pretend you’ve seen it for the first time (so that they keep talking abt ur intrest)

one time I was in a little six the musical thingy and the director was asking everyone abt a “little” background about the queens and one person from each group would answer, (I was in the Boylens, but like ofc bc I literally am Anne Boylen and the main character soooo) AND A KID FROM MY GROUP SHOT UP HER HAND AND THE TEACHER CALLED ON HER AND THE SHIT SHE SAID WAS “she uh grew up in France and then married the king and then flirted with 3 guys and then got beheaded” LIKE NO BITCH SHE DID NOT DONT RAISE UR HAND IF UR GUNNA LIE TO US DHFHJFJDIDISKSJSJWHUEUEUE SO THEN I RAISED MY HAND TO HELP HER PUT THERE 😭😭😭✌️😭

ALSO I TAUGHT MY GROUP SO MUCH SHIT ABT HER IN FACT EVERYONE AT THAT PLACE KNEW I WAS THE HISTORY ONE SO THEY WOULD COME UP TO ME AND BE LIKE “hey _____ do u know anything about Anna of Cleves” UMMM HELL YEAH !!!!!!! IT WAS SO FUN 🤭🤭🤭🤭

another time I was doing Karoke and me & my friend wanted to sing SIX and she’s like “so which song” and I’m like “I know the lines to like all of them so we can do any one”

one time my friends said “her forehead is so big it could be Library full of SIX facts” 💪

also I had(ve) no friends that were this intensely or at all obsessed with it so I would literally be fucking texting myself links to videos and stuff

Also like one time I got jumpscared bc out of the corner of my eye I saw Santa Claus and thought it was H*nry VIII

Also I have seen almost every single one of Art E’s (person who made six the kids) tumblr posts + may or may not have also gotten a virus (no fr I’m not sure) from tumblr when scrolling through six posts

whenever I couldn’t sleep or was home alone yes I would perform six and yes I would know most of the lines

the biggest album on my phone is six photos + I have separate albums for every queen and their kids

also I have seen pretty much every incorrect SIX quote and they are pretty much inside jokes with myself

when I would get really anxious I would imagine my life if I was an actor on tour playing Boylen and my friendship which each of the other random actors and also I would imagine my favorite six six (the last song) animatic

there were times where I could hardly do anything without thinking “OMG THIS IS SO JANE SEYMOUR LIKE I,AGINE IF THE QUEENS WERE HERE AND JEHFJDJWKWKWMMA” (to myself in my head I’m not annoying like that….well to anyone but G)

I wanted to make a Anne Boylen cosplay SOOOO BAD despite having no cosplay skills one time I tried to make one for a belle doll I bought at goodwill speicifically for that purpose and also one out of cardboard

I have an album with all of the bootlegs I could find that aren’t just a black screen and can send it to u

and yet although I’ve been obsessed for 2-3 years I have hardly made any art for it and just have like 50 million unfinished sketches and may or may not have unfinished fanfics and so so many mental ideas of animatics (idk how to animate) that I abandoned after a day and I own 4 pieces of merch that I didn’t make myself (7 if u include the stuff I made) ✌️😭 ✌️😖

when I was bored instead of watching a Netiflix show or listening to music like a normal person, oh no, I would rewatch H*nry VIII oversimplified I’ve seen it like 10 times honestly a banger

Also if you know these 3 songs you are SUCH a real one and I love you;

-divorced behead and died 🗣️🔥💯‼️ divorced beheaded survived 🗣️🔥💯‼️ IM H*NRY VIII IVE HAD 6 SORRY WIVES YOU COULD SAY I RUINEDTHEIR LIVES 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

-H*NRY H*NRY H*NRY HAD SO MANY WIVES THAT HAD TO DIE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️ H*NRY H*NRY H*NRY HAD SO MANY ONLY ONE SURVIED ☝️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

-ITS SO SUPER CRAZY THAT I GOT TO BE QUEEN 🗣️🔥🔥💯‼️‼️‼️ THE ODDS WERE AGAISNT IT IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN OFC I WAS THE DAUGHTER TO A POWERFUL KING BUT I NEVER THOUGHT I’D END UP WEARING THIS THING 👑👑🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️

Also yes I censor H*nry and not fuck bc it’s funny and I like that it’s like a little with us six fans 💪 as well as Henrat

also I did a history project on Elizabeth I

also at another preppy little thing I did was think which of my friends are each of the queens bc I’m Boylen therefore we all have to be besties

And I could write something probably longer than this post abt my head canons of what I think their personality would be like au’s how I think their friendships are to each other what they would like and dislike, basically a really advanced sim and yes I have made them in the sims but sims 3 won’t let me have more than 8 so Edward had to go also Eddy is an iPad kid bc I deicided like come on Jane would so give him and iPad and be like “oh yes ofc I will pay 20 dollars so u can have new robux 😇”

also I have every single one of the queens and their kids deathdays on my calendar (Mae is not included) as well as their birthdays

also it has been 2 years and I still remeber the time and date I saw six for the first time (cried 6 times 3 when it started 3 when it ended) 💪💪💪

being a SIX fan is having no clue what to say when someone asks how many wars H*nry fought but knowing the amount of miscarriages Lina had

fun fact: Henry killed thousands more ppl than Mary ✌️😜

One time I got in like a 30 minute argument with my friends Snapchat ai about whether or not H*nry deserves decent human respect BITCH JUST BCZ IT WAS A “DIFFRENT TIME” DOESNT KAKE IT OKAY” 😤😤😤

ALSO I HAVE SOOOO MANY UNPOPULAR OPINIONS AND ALSO KATHRYN PARR IS SPELT WITH A K GUYS GET IT RIGHT BC ELIZABETH MADE HER A FRENCH VERSION OF ONE OF HER BOOKS AND PUT HER INITIALS ON IT WHIC WERE KP ‼️‼️‼️

Also fun fact Elizabeth signed everything Elizabeth R because R means Regina which means queen in Latin or something and Elisabeth could speak SOOO MANY diffrent Languages.

[accidents-in-the-laboratory]

OWP: "Speech"

It's been a while since I posted an Omo Without Plot. But I have another one.

This one is again about Green Goblin. It was supposed to be a one-shot added to my GodsPEEd Gobby one-shots ("Speech" is the name I gave it), but I never finished it and don't really feel like doing so. So I'm posting it as an OWP instead.

This is a very rough draft. I didn't even finish writing the speech Goblin gives or the questions and answers. It's also unfinished. It is also very long (the document I wrote it on is 8 pages).

Please Enjoy!

Goblin followed Otto into the public bathroom. It was crowded and he found that all three stalls were occupied. He sighed, annoyed that he had to wait when he couldn’t even feel the discomfort that meant he needed to release pee. 

“I don’t even have to go,” he whined. “It’s a waste of time.”

“You should try anyways,” Otto replied. “I don’t want you to have to go when we’re stopped in traffic.”

Goblin hated to admit that Otto was right. He’d had the experience of needing to use the toilet while stuck in traffic before. He didn’t want to experience it again. 

Still, he hated trying to use the toilet when he didn’t feel the need to. It always took a long time and usually didn’t feel worth it when he was finished. 

A toilet flushed and someone walked out of one of the stalls. Goblin didn’t rush to enter it. He was also slow to close and lock the door. He turned around and stared down at the toilet. Sometimes, if he looked at the toilet, the discomfort would appear.

He felt nothing. 

He sighed again. 

“Do I have to?” he asked.

“You’ll be glad that you did,” he heard Otto say from the other side of the door. “Trust me.”

Goblin reluctantly turned around and pushed his pants and underwear down. He sat and waited but nothing happened. He tried to release pee but couldn’t feel anything happen. 

“I swear I don’t have to go,” he said. 

“Keep trying,” Otto replied. 

Even though he was annoyed, angry, and bored, Goblin didn’t argue. He sat, staring at the door in front of him. After a minute, he heard Otto speak again.

“Any luck?” he asked. 

“No,” Goblin replied.

There was a short pause. 

“Are you working on any new projects?” Otto finally asked. 

Goblin knew what he was doing. He was trying to provide a distraction. In other instances where Otto had asked Goblin to use the bathroom when he didn’t need to, Otto would talk to Goblin about something unrelated to the toilet. Oftentimes, if he didn’t focus on needing to pee, the discomfort would suddenly appear, and he’d be able to release pee. 

“Not right now,” he answered Otto’s question. He shifted his posture. The toilet wasn’t the most comfortable place to sit.

“You should,” Otto said. “It would give you something to do. And I know you like making things.”

Sometimes, on Saturdays when Goblin was in control, Otto would go into the workshop at the place he worked to work on his inventions and Goblin would come with him. He would sit off to the side to stay out of Otto’s way and tinker with scraps of material that Otto had discarded. Sometimes he made little inventions and Otto was always impressed by Goblin’s ability to build things without a blueprint. Norman was impressed as well. Sometimes Otto brought scraps home so Goblin could build stuff on nights when he was in control.

“I do like making things,” he agreed now. He felt a brief tinge of discomfort, but as soon as he focused on it, it went away. 

“Do you want to come up with something now?” Otto asked. 

“Sure,” Goblin replied. “I have nothing better to do.”

“What kind of thing would you want to make?” Otto asked. 

“Something that explodes,” Goblin answered. He heard Otto laugh.

“Of course,” Otto said. 

“Preferably something that won’t hurt anyone,” Goblin said. “I wouldn’t want to get arrested.”

“Or hurt someone,” Otto added. 

“Yeah, sure,” Goblin said. “That too.”

“Okay,” Otto said. “So, a bomb that doesn’t hurt anyone. Fireworks, maybe?”

“I love fireworks,” Goblin said. “Definitely fireworks. Big, loud ones.”

“Okay,” Otto said. 

“I like the fireworks that have multiple explosions in one,” Goblin said. “You know those ones? They explode but then there are also smaller explosions?”

“Those are cool,” Otto agreed. 

Goblin opened his mouth to add something but then stopped. A strong discomfort had washed over him. He instantly focused on it, did what he felt he needed to, and sighed as his body finally released pee. 

Neither he nor Otto said anything until he was finished. He always found it odd that, even though he hadn’t needed to go, he still felt better once he’d gone. 

“I’m done,” he announced. 

“Great,” Otto said. “Good job.”

“Thanks for the distraction,” Goblin said as he stood. “It helped.”

“Glad to help,” Otto said. 

Goblin redressed, flushed, and left the stall. He washed his hands, and as he was drying them, he said,

“I’ll wait outside for you.”

“Sounds good,” Otto replied. “I won’t take too long.”

Goblin tossed the paper towels he’d dried his hands with and left the bathroom.

…

The lobby of the auditorium was crowded with people. All of them were dressed in suits or dresses and were huddled in small groups, talking and laughing. Goblin felt out of place amongst the business men and women who worked for Oscorp and its partnering businesses. He was there to speak about his future involvement in the company, which several of the Oscorp higher-ups had suggested and which Norman had agreed upon. But he knew nothing about business, didn’t know any of these people, and felt like he shouldn’t be there.

“I don’t belong here,” he said to Otto, who had walked in behind him and stood next to him. 

“Not yet,” Otto replied. “But soon you will.”

Goblin fussed with his suit jacket and slacks. He hated wearing suits. They were uncomfortable and always felt too small. He felt like the tie around his neck was choking him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe in the buttoned suit jacket. The slacks were too tight compared to the sweatpants he usually wore. 

“Leave the suit alone,” Otto said. He scowled at him.

“I don’t want to wear it,” he growled. “It’s too tight.”

“It shouldn’t be,” Otto said. “You’re just not used to wearing it.”

Goblin reached up and pulled the collar away from his neck. 

“I’m taking it off as soon as this is over,” he said.

“You can definitely do that,” Otto said. “I even brought a change of clothes so you could change before we leave if you want.”

“Thank God,” Goblin said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

Before Otto could respond, Goblin saw Harry, Norman’s son, approaching them.

“Goblin?” he asked when he’d stopped in front of them.

“Great, it’s you,” Goblin said. 

“Glad you decided to come!” Harry said. 

“I’m here for Norman, not you,” Goblin said. 

“You should meet some of your fellow coworkers,” Harry said. “I can walk you around and introduce you to some people.”

Goblin tried not to groan or roll his eyes. The term “coworkers” implied that he’d be actively working alongside them, which he didn’t think would actually happen. He had a strong feeling that, after his speech, people would be less enthusiastic about hiring him.

“Sure,” he said to Harry. “Whatever.”

“You should use the bathroom first, though,” Otto said. “It’s been a while since you last went.”

This time, Goblin did groan and roll his eyes at Otto. 

“I think I can determine whether I need to go,” he said. 

“At least have Harry show you where the bathrooms are so that you don’t have to search for them if you do need to go,” Otto said. 

“Fine,” Goblin reluctantly agreed. 

“I’ll show you where they are,” Harry said. He beckoned Goblin to follow him as he turned around and Goblin did so. 

…

Everyone around Goblin laughed as Goblin finished the story about Norman that he’d been telling. Goblin was surprised that they were enjoying hearing somewhat embarrassing stories about their CEO. He wouldn’t have expected them to. 

“Tell another one,” the man standing across from him said. “If you have another one.”

“Oh I have plenty of stories about Mr. Osborn,” Goblin said. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh and started telling another story. By the time he had finished the story, which was also followed by a bout of laughter, Otto was standing next to him.

“You look like you’re having fun,” he said.

“I’m telling embarrassing stories about Norman,” Goblin said, looking up at him. “It’s great. And they’re loving it.”

He gestured to the people around him. 

“You’re giving your speech in fifteen minutes,” Otto said. “Are you ready?”

“Of course I’m ready,” Goblin said. He patted the breast of his suit jacket. “I’ve got my notecards right here.”

He heard a few chuckles around him.

Otto leaned his face closer to Goblin’s and spoke quietly into their ear.

“You should try to use the bathroom now so you won’t have to go while you’re speaking.”

Goblin’s smile turned into a frown.

“I don’t have to,” he said. Sometimes he said that even though he didn’t mean it because he didn’t want to go. But this time it was true. He didn’t feel any discomfort.

“You should try anyways,” Otto replied in the same quiet voice. Goblin sighed. It was no use arguing with Otto.

“Fine,” he said. He looked back at the people around him and said “Excuse me,” before standing up from his chair and walking to the bathrooms Harry had shown him the location of earlier.

The bathroom wasn’t crowded. He locked himself in one of the stalls, hung his suit jacket over the door, and sat on the toilet. 

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

There was no discomfort. 

He did what he usually did to release pee, just in case maybe he just couldn’t feel the discomfort, but nothing came out of him. Otto wasn’t there to provide a distraction. If he couldn’t go now, he wouldn’t be able to.

Sighing, he stood up and pulled his pants back up, tucking his shirt into them. He flushed the toilet out of habit and pulled his suit jacket down. He exited the stall, washed his hands, and walked back into the lobby.

When Otto asked if he’d gone, he lied and said that he had.

He sat down and continued to talk with the Oscorp employees and nobody mentioned the bathroom again. 

…

The auditorium was almost full. Goblin could barely see the people sitting in the stands from his spot behind the podium. He swayed slightly, shifting from foot to foot. He’d never spoken in front of a crowd before. He felt nervous and tried to stay calm.

It’s not a big deal, he thought. You know what you’re doing.

He shuffled the note cards he was holding in his hand. They had bullet points of everything he’d planned to say in his speech, reminding him in case he forgot what he’d memorized. He quickly ran the speech over in his mind before looking back up at the crowd. 

“Hello, everyone,” he said into the microphone in front of him. The murmur of voices he’d been hearing slowly faded. The auditorium fell silent. He felt some heat in his cheeks at the thought that the only thing people could hear was him. 

He pushed the nerves away. He didn’t need to be nervous. He would be fine.

“It’s great to be here tonight,” he said. “I’ve met some of you earlier, but for those I haven’t met, I’m called ‘The Green Goblin,’ but most of my friends just call me ‘Goblin.’ You can call me that, if you want. Or ‘Mr. Goblin.’ Or ‘Mr. Green.’ I don’t really care.”

There was a wave of chuckles in the crowd but they faded quickly. 

[Goblin gives his speech. He gets about halfway through when the feeling hits him].

His breath caught in his throat. The need to pee was bad. Really bad. Worse than he would have expected given that he hadn’t needed to go until now. He shuffled on his feet, trying to stay calm, and continued. 

“[another part of the speech].”

The need to pee was getting worse, and quickly. Goblin felt the urge to do what he knew would get rid of it but tried his best not to act on the urge. He tried to focus on his speech, making himself look as calm as he could. 

“[More of the speech].”

He came to the sudden realization that the speech was a distraction. He knew that for most people, distracting them from needing to pee made it easier to bear. But Goblin had so often used distraction to make himself pee that it was only making the urge to do so stronger. 

He felt his face heating up and his palms were starting to sweat. His hands were beginning to shake. 

“[conclusion of the speech].”

He paused as another strong wave of discomfort and urgency washed over him. He was trying not to dance in place but wasn’t succeeding very well. He squeezed his legs together which made the slacks more tight and uncomfortable than they already were. 

“Are there any questions?” he asked. 

He saw multiple hands raise. He pointed at the audience in the general direction of one of the hands.

“How about you, there in the front,” he said. One of the people lowered their hand and pointed to themself. Goblin nodded and the person smiled at him.

“[Question]?”

Goblin winced. He couldn’t fight the urge anymore but continued to try anyway as he answered the question.

“[Goblin’s answer].”

Hands raised again. Goblin really needed to pee. Still, he called on another person.

“[Question]?”

“[Goblin’s answer but it’s cut short]--”

Goblin stopped speaking abruptly when he felt a wave of warm liquid come out of him and flood into his pants. He was peeing in his pants. He needed to go to the bathroom now if he wanted any chance of making it to the toilet.

“I’m sorry,” he said into the microphone. His voice was rushed and shaking. “I need to use the bathroom. Excuse me.”

He turned away from the microphone and rushed to the edge of the stage. He quickly descended the stairs and started making his way up one of the aisles between the rows of seats. He felt another flood of warm liquid escape him and tried to stop it. He got it to stop for a second but felt it happen again as he got to the exit to the auditorium and pushed the door open.

He tried to run to the bathroom but could only manage a quick waddling jog. Warm liquid periodically escaped him in waves and his heart was racing. He’d waited too long to empty his bladder and now his body was doing it for him. He hoped that maybe, if he tried hard enough, he would be able to release at least a significant amount of it into the toilet instead.

He waddled into the bathroom and into one of the stalls. He locked himself inside, ripped off his suit jacket, and dropped it onto the floor. He struggled to get his pants and underwear off and nearly ripped his slacks pulling them down. 

He dropped onto the toilet and finally allowed his body to release pee.

He heard a small trickle. Then nothing. 

He knew the implication of that small trickle. Most of the pee in his body had been released into his pants as he tried to get to the bathroom. 

He thought he would feel some strong emotion — anger, upset, embarrassment — but he only felt slightly disappointed that he hadn’t made it to the toilet in time. 

He continued to sit on the toilet, unsure what to do. He tried to release pee again, hoping that maybe he’d just been imagining the warmth and that the trickle had only been the start of a much larger flood. But no pee escaped him. 

He finally felt anger when he realized that Otto had been right. That he should have tried to use the bathroom earlier. He swore quietly.

He heard someone enter the bathroom.

“Goblin?” 

It was Otto’s voice. Goblin didn’t want to talk to Otto, but he answered him anyway.

“I’m here,” he said. 

He heard footsteps approaching his stall and then saw Otto’s feet under the stall door. They stopped and turned in his direction. Then one of Otto’s metal arms snaked under the door, grabbed the suit jacket, and lifted it out of the stall. 

“Are you okay?” Otto asked. Goblin sighed. 

“Please don’t say ‘I told you so’,” he said. “I know you were right.”

“I wasn’t planning on saying that,” Otto said. “I just came in here to make sure you’re okay.”

“I peed in my pants,” Goblin admitted. 

“Okay.”

It was all Otto said. Goblin almost wished he’d said more, wished he’d chastised him. 

“I have a change of clothes in the car, remember,” Otto finally said after a long pause. “I’ll go out and get those and you can change.”

“I want to go home,” Goblin said.

“We will,” Otto replied. “Your speech was good, by the way. I didn’t even think you needed a toilet until you started asking questions.”

“I didn’t need one until about halfway through,” Goblin said. “It got worse during the question and answer.”

“I’m going to go get the clothes,” Otto said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

The feet turned and walked away. Goblin looked down at the soiled pants and underwear still pulled up to his knees. The dark stain was clearly visible on the front of his slacks. Not wanting to be reminded of what happened, he pushed them down and they landed in a wet heap on the floor at his feet.

…

And that's where it ends. Again, it is unfinished.

Thanks for reading!

[justreckin]

20 questions for fic writers

alright @emonydeborah said hey there's a thing and i say yes (ages later)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 6

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 28,070

3. What fandoms do you write for? Honestly, whatever's catching my fancy in that moment. Of the things I've posted, The Librarians is the only fandom that I've ever even posted more than one fic for.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Raising Harry (Harry Potter/Underworld) Where Selene comes across Harry playing at the park alone at night and decides that the best idea is to sorta adopt him.

Never Say He Isn't Grateful (Agent Carter/Captain America) Howard realizes he owes Peggy big time and the best way for him to repay her is to go rescue Steve.

5 Times Ezekiel Called Eve Mum and the Time They Made it Official (The Librarians) 5+1 what it says on the tin.

Second Time Around (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Coulson went in on the Bahrain mission, May died. Oneshot re-write of the first episode that I considered expanding and have actually written other chapters for but... 🤷‍♀️

How Apep got Ezekiel Grounded for the Rest of his Natural Life (The Librarians) Season 3 Finale in the same universe as the previous Librarians fic that has a second chapter I have yet to write...

5. Do you respond to comments? I certainly try to. I'm not the best at it, but I love getting to have a conversation with anyone who likes the same things I do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Heh probably I'm Not Your Mother but even then it's a) not really all that angsty and b) mostly that I dropped a mean bomb on characters and then ran away because I have no idea what else to do with it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ...everything else? Look, canon is already regularly very mean to characters. I am here to live in my happy little fantasies where everything works out.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate per se but I'd left up an unfinished multi-chapter fic at one point and someone commented that I was the reason they'd lost faith in authors with unfinished works and is maybe more responsible for me not posting any of the myriad of things I have on my computer than I want to admit.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nah. I write more family than relationship stuff, really.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. Uh... it's not posted, but maybe the Harry Potter/Song of the Lioness that I hashed out at one point.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  Don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ha! @emonydeborah and I spitball all the time (it's wonderful) and she absolutely gets credit if that parent trap fic ever gets finished, but I don't think I'm up to the group project that would be co-writting a fic.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? the Enterprise NCC-1701 dash nothing! All jokes aside, it genuinely is the only ship I go back to on a regular basis.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uh... honestly, I don't know that I'll ever finish half the things in my WIP folder.

16. What are your writing strengths? Probably dialogue. I feel I'm pretty good at getting the character's literal voice down.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything happening around the dialogue. In my head these people are always moving around and doing things, but it always feels so clunky if I try to put that onto a page.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Maybe an individual word or two for a curse or endearment. I know enough Spanish I'd probably be comfortable writing in it. But that'd be about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Uh.... Star Trek? One sec, must check files. Yeah, pretty sure it was a short TOS thing. Hmm might need to take a look at that again, clean it up, repost...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Posted? Probably Ezekiel calling Eve mum. Not posted? Nah, actually, don't know that there is one that's not posted.

.... @the-redhead-in-a-dress and @sun-lit-roses did you do it yet, did you do it? I wanna see 😁

[vukovich]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @orange-peony @schmem14 and @teledild0nix for tagging me in this game! Sorry it took me eons.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

47. 46 under "Vukovich" and one that's anonymous.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

921,870

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Harry Potter.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Crane Lord of Gringotts Beauxtiful Boy "I'll Figure It Out" It'll Come Back Fearful Trill

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No, as a general rule, I don't. I just feel like it's awkward to treat an AO3 comment as a conversation starter, I guess. Like, if someone wants to talk to me, my email address and Tumblr are in my AO3 bio. I do reply to AO3 comments if there's a question about the fic. Especially if the reader says their first language isn't English. I also will reply for the purpose of harassing friends.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Return to Sender and "I love you, (too/also)" are way up there in the angst department. For "I love you, (too/also)" I actually recorded a podfic of it, and I couldn't read the ending out loud without crying so I scrapped it. NO WAIT!!! I forgot about The Seven Weasley Horcruxes. Oh, Jeebus. Apologies in advance for that one.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Eagles in Truro, just for the sake of everyone getting to have their polyamorous cake and eat it too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes. Just... yes. Big yes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, most of my fics are explicit. I'm not really sure what kind of smut I write. I feel like my smut is probably more graphic than some. More jizz dripping on the floor and errant pubes in teeth than what's fandom typical.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I can barely hold the HP universe in my head.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, several of them. I think it's cool as hell. If it's a language I'm familiar with, I help with phrasings and subtext and stuff.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah. I have a WIP collection that people can leave unfinished fics in, and then I finish them. And I'd say when I collaborate with an artist, there's enough back and forth that it counts as co-writing. Oh! And there's a WIP with @oknowkiss and @mintawasalreadytaken I'll eventually get back to writing, I swear, you guys, for real, I will finish that shower piss scene.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Joker/Harley Quinn, actually.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

OMG just one?! I have (briefly leaves to check Google Docs) about 100k in unfinished fics, plus outlines for about ten more. I think those are all going to get dumped as-is on AO3 in an anonymous collection, and I'm only going to finish the ones I'm actively posting (Seahorse, Glitch, 24k9).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Weird turns of phrase, I guess. Or at least that's what people tell me. I feel like I'm pretty good at not bogging down the pace with descriptions, but some people like to know the threadcount when they read smut. Honestly, I have way more strengths as an editor than as a writer.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Complete disregard for the em dash. If I were meant to use it, it would have a key on the standard QWERTY keyboard. I even bought an expensive-ass keyboard, programmed an em dash key for it, and still didn't use it. It wasn't meant to be. Who would like to buy a very fancy keyboard? I will also die on my double-spacing at the end of sentences hill. Going down with this typewriter skills ship. Maybe YOUR language evolves over time, but mine's stuck in 1987.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

That's one of my favorite puzzles. How comprehensible can I make the foreign language excerpt solely through the use of cognates and cues? Love it. 10/10.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

My most masterful works of fiction are letters of recommendation. But this sonnet is fun.

Tagging everybody already tagged, as well as @peachpety @@epitomereally @tontonguetonks @diligent-thunder @wheezykat @lou-ifyouwant @corvuscrowned

[dinoburger]

None of us really know either way, but I do remember speculation in the mid-late 2010s re: whether or not the TF2 comics were leading into something space-related (between what happened to Sniper's mom, the spaceships located in several in-game maps, and the perpetually-unfinished valve map rd_asteroid that used to be in the game's playable map rotation). Entirely guesswork, plus a dash of hope that Valve would continue the storyline post-comics.

:\ yeah, though, ultimately… the comics really shook up the status quo of the game and the established setting, but it's hard to see what conclusion they could've been barrelling toward. Real intrigued by that comics/Helen infographic you posted a few days ago -- I've likewise been puzzling over what Helen's debt could be (for all of the comics' hiatus and then some, lmao). Either way, I don't believe there's enough foreshadowing for us to have figured out whatever-it-is, and then there's the eternal question of "What Comes After?" (both in-universe and regarding Valve's seemingly-dwindling interest in the IP) looming over it all.

(like tumblr user milfy, I'm not really sure what comic 7 could've done to conclude things in a satisfactory way. ngl, sometimes I wish we'd gotten something set during gravel war or mvm -- at the risk of sounding overly critical, I'll admit I personally feel like the fandom missed out on getting some more gravel war era/group-focused content.

though with the then-ongoing [and, hell, somehow-currently-ongoing] status of the game itself, I also feel like the comics ending on too Final a conclusion would've soured some folks' milk. perhaps this is why I continue to entertain the "it was leading into another update" train of thought -- the idea of the comics smacking a big old super-conclusive "The End" onto everything seems unlikely to me, but I cannot fathom what would have come afterwards. or how any currently-raised plot threads would be resolved, if at all.)

… This ask was a whole lotta reiteration/conjecture, so I want to add that I love the TF2 stuff you've been drawing/writing. The classic team and Conagher family lore are so, so fascinating to me, so it's been Like Christmas Morning to me for months lmao. have a good one -🍊

oh man, I would've loved to have more stuff that actually delved into developing the characters during the Gravel wars/MvM... hell, they could've even played off the Scream Fortress shenanigans and have like, a big, ridiculous magical adventure

I also didn't know about the space stuff, that also could've been a cool direction

there's part of me that wants to hope they had some idea of what they were doing but the more I look at it, the more the plot feels like it dissolved more into "stuff that feels really big and important happening" rather than one coherent mystery to unravel, which... the journey should also be important. This is the stuff people criticize Marvel movies for, the twist becomes more important than the actual story. Putting all the eggs in that basket.

I definitely agree... idk like. I think they even could've gotten away with having different canons and not feeling like they had to pin the ultimate resolution of the entire game to the comic, either. Comics can be like that! Different iterations and interpretations of the same universe, that's cool too! IPs get revised and retconned and improved all the time, tbh I think like... the current obsession people have with canonicity can be grating at times.

I think in some ways it's even harder to get past that with an inconclusive work like this because yeah, it does end up being that everyone hopes whatever the conclusion is will be worth the wait, that it'll scratch that itch, and the longer folks go imagining some grand conclusion the higher expectations end up being. You can't really blame them either, at a point, because that's all they really have to go off.

and thank you so much! I love those guys, so I'm grateful when it's appreciated!

[chaitigers]

Ivan infodump

OK SO i posted my little guy Ivan (big deer guy) and as i mentioned in his post, hes a mix of different characters i've like found interesting and that had interesting concepts that i wanted to explore in a character so yeah I decided to make ivan!

Ivan's like part of this universe im a part of w some buddies and he's like a werecreature (i cant rlly go super in depth w the lore here because i dont rlly know it that well LHDFCBDVLKHB) he was turned into one like after some stuff happened in his life that left him broke so he needed money to like get back on his feet and doing that (essentially making himself a test subject for this thing some scientists were doing) was the only way he could. Heres where the first theme i wanted to explore comes in, Guilt and Debt.

If anyone's read crime and punishment, the main character Raskolnikov essentially k1lls his crusty musty landlady so he doesnt have to owe her his rent anymore which imo, slay, but at the same time he is riddled with this immense guilt and like questioning himself as to wether or not committing a crime and a deadly sin (because hes also catholic so another LAYER of guilt added)

Raskolikov gets sent to prision to like seve his sentence but most of the book is like him debating with himself wether or not what he did was right, because he mrd3red someone that was a pest both to him and everyone else who owed rent to her, and she was a busive and mean so like thats someon no one would miss because she was bad so he's good for killing her, it was for the greater good, but at the same time in the eyes of the law Raskolnikov is a criminal, as well as in the eyes of religion because he murdered someone and thats an unforgivable act and hes supposed to go to hell for that.

In Ivan's case, his guilt lies in the fact that he was essentially the reason him a nd his family's business went into banktrupcy, if he was never born he woudln't have caused much trouble to his parents. He's the son of a violin maker, meaning business is not as big as theyd wish it to be especially as violins are expensive as shit because theyre handmade works of art that only few know the trade of making them and stuff. Ivan obviously inherited the knowledge from his father, helped him in the shop and helped to provide for his own family even as a child, but he still carries that guilt of being the reason niether one of his parents could fulfill any of the desires they had due to him being just "a burden" in his tiny little head.

In the debt aspect, he is quite literally indebted, left with the previous unpaid bills and unfinished projects his father left after he passed, and left with a bunch of customersn his father still owed things to like money, instruments and materials. To Ivan, thats the way he's repaying the hardships he made his parents go through. the family burdens are passed down generation by generation as well, because many of most of the monetary debts came from people of the past that made those bad desicions and left their descendants to deal with them. Ivan is determined to fulfill these depts, at all costs, and eventually that costs him his humanity.

NOW ONTO HANNIBAL!

I mostly wanted to do the c@nn1balsm as a metaphor for all consuming, obsessive love with Ivan , especially the love for his craft (because in the end he loves what he's doing, hes a passionate violin maker) but literally in the way that he loves as well. He isnt that bad looking, at least according to him (in my head his face claim is jacob elordi specifically in saltburn and like post euphoria and the kissing booth) but he does feel like he's hard to love because of all the guilt hes carrying for shit he didnt even do (like be incredibly indebted to the state). hes super inexperienced in love, has only had one long lasting relationship, and that relationship is one that consumed him so much that he couldnt see himself living apart from that person he loved after they broke up. Ivan has an anxious attachment style, always has and hes like a kitten with separation anxiety, he will wail and scream until he gets back to that person he feels safe with even if it means that he's actively pushing them away because of how clingy he is.

all that to say that he ate his ex boyfriend because if he couldnt be with ivan then no one could have him

So yeah that is like almost all of Ivan's story! i love him dearly and rlly want to expand more on him in the future!

[excadrill]

tagged by @yj-98 ilyyy 🫶🫶🤍

RULES: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

tag as many people as their are wips.. eep.. sorry i'd put this under a cut but it's not working on mobile 😭

ankhgiveaway.sai [i held an art giveaway in february and havent finished the prizes even tho i keep looking at them and going 'i need to and Want to finish this..']

yuukigiveaway.sai [same as above but the person who requested this one deactivated so i. don't know if i'm still gonna finish it]

sonomomo.sai [my current priority 'For Me' wip.. ive shared this wip w some people but ive never done a proper piece for the 'cycle of life and death' thing for them so that's what this one is..💙❤️]

exozinewip5.sai [pokemon zine oc piece, not supposed to share zine wips so idk if i should say more but it's of my beloved gymsona.. this zine will be free + digital and i'll ofc be promoting it more when it's done but it's soooo cute keep your eyes out for this one :3c '5' not bc im contributing multiple pieces but bc this piece is big and slightly intimidating for me so i keep saving different versions when i do major merges]

pocketzine-nymble.sai [another pokemon zine piece, so i can't really say more But it's not the only thing im contributing to this zine, ive just finished all my other stuff already]

oczine-thumbs.sai [thumbs for an oc zine i signed up for that i'll probably drop out of bc im not feeling like a vibe w everyone else there >w>;;; ]

philip.sai [philip piece ive had sitting around basically since i finished W.. about a year ago now i think ? but i transferred it to my '23 wips folder bc i still wanna finish it..it was supposed to be a 'this one will be quick and easy so i'll have smthn i Finished this month outside of zine stuff' but. zine stuff took up all my time and energy oops]

mrtourism.sai [this one's a silly post-canon kirihiko art i've Also had sitting around for like a year. i chip away at this one sometimes but then keep restarting bc im unsatisfied with the lines i wish i could just sit down and finish it bc i Love Him]

platform.sai [ummm silly ryotaro thing i drew after watching the den-o final stage ^__^ not a high priority one but it's cute so like. maybe one day]

punkjackhelmet.sai [file name was bc i was originally doing helmet studies before it turned into a full sketch. punkjack with the beat buckle bc i was doing this right after his special came out 🎃🫶]

colourwheel.sai [ummm well. yeah im not good at finishing art memes when theyre still on trend. i did all the sketches for these but i probably won't finish at this point..]

poppyangel.sai [poppy ex-aid i sketched as a break between big stuff the other day that i like a lot so. maybe will finish but might just post unfinished if i cant find the energy to get to this one sooner. feel bad that i like ex-aid so much but don't have any clean art done for it..]

millirider.sai [toku oc planning :3 i was saying last night i finally figured the helmet out which ive been struggling with for ages so hopefullyyyy i get around to doing a proper ref sheet]

im not at my laptop rn so im doing this off the top of my head but i THINK that's everything.. tagging umm @ankhisms @heartvisor @madaraki @circeancity @horrorcomedies @yu3s @pleuvoire @kosukeiichi @danothan @seashrine @asticassia @eclipse-song @kirider only if you guys wanna 🤍🤍

[skania]

Hey! I recently read good part of your posts and I love them as a big AquKane fan :D they're amazing!

Do you think that even with Aqua being so deep into revenge, there is still a chance Akane could save him and even be the endgame? If so, how do you think she would be able to save him? If not, what do you think would take for Aqua to realize everything, that he doesn't have to live for revenge anymore? Curious to hear your thoughts about this!

Sorry if it doesn't make sense and sorry for so many questions xD I love hearing opinions about stuff about my otp so yeah!

Thank you anon!! :D

Do you think that even with Aqua being so deep into revenge, there is still a chance Akane could save him and even be the endgame?

Absolutely! I get the feeling that we'll know whether Aqua and Akane are going to be endgame pretty soon after they start interacting again. If Aka shows that there's unfinished business between them and that the people around them see it, I'd say that it's pretty safe to assume we're heading down the AquaKane endgame road.

One thing is for sure though, Aqua has to be saved. The manga can't end any other way. Since Akane's desire to save him transcends romance, I'm confident she will play an instrumental role in making it possible regardless of who ends up with who.

If so, how do you think she would be able to save him? If not, what do you think would take for Aqua to realize everything, that he doesn't have to live for revenge anymore?

I think it depends on whether Akane right now is just aiming to stop Aqua's plan, or if she's also going to try and get rid of the roof of the issue; aka, all the complexes Aqua carries with him.

In any case, I think that for Aqua to to truly accept that he doesn't have to live for revenge anymore, he needs to accept that he isn't to blame for anything and that his life does matter.

For this to happen, I feel like Aka needs to free him from the guilt he carries after the death of his first mother. I think this could be accomplished by letting Aqua come to a point where he can accept Ai's motherly love for him. After all, Ai is someone who risked her career to deliver her babies because she desperately wanted a family, and she's also someone who died feeling fulfilled because of how much she loved her children. If Aqua is capable of accepting that he is worthy of Ai's love for him, then that may help him realize that Goro's mother likely died loving him and wanting the best for him. Knowing Aka, chances are that she literally died telling baby!Goro "I love you".

However, for Aqua to be able to accept Ai's motherly love for him, he needs to deal with the the guilt he feels surrounding her death. He needs to accept that there's nothing he could've done for her, and that in fact he already did all he could: he gave her someone to love. I feel like this roadblock could be lifted by Ruby. Goro felt powerless around Sarina, like he could do nothing for her, when in fact he was one of the two lights that kept her going. The same thing can be said about Ai, Aqua felt powerless, like he could do nothing for her, when he was in fact one of the two lights that let Ai experience true love. So in this way, Ruby is in the best place to tell him just how meaningful his existence is.

Once Aqua's guilt is alleviated, he should have an easier time embracing his own worth and striving to be happy. I feel like it's only then that Aqua will be truly saved.

But of course, stopping Aqua's self-destructive plan is already a very good start 😂

[lenivyssenseoflevity]

Important Information

Unfortunately I have some trouble with my PC due to a defect… Which really fucks me up bc it totally sucks! In fact, I was already working on a new Rylan edit that was almost finished and should have been published soon, which sucks even more! 😩 I was already looking forward to sharing this work with you… In addition, I have plenty of other ideas and other unfinished but already started Rylan edits/works in the pipeline. But now due to the defect I have to pause them all… 😭😢😥

This means I won't be able to post/release new Rylan edits anytime soon, which pisses me off a lot. Especially since I probably won't be able to fix the problem until September (because of spare parts) So which specifically means I won't be able to create and post new Rylan stuff until September. I‘m so sorry about this… 

So to all my followers and Rylan enthusiasts out there, I just wanted to let you know in case you're wondering that I haven't posted anything yet and maybe worried that I've left the fandom as well. That said, don't worry bc I definitely haven't left the fandom (nor will I) I just have trouble with shitty techy stuff (where the heck is Dylan. I need him asap!!!!) So don't worry, I promise to come back with new Rylan edits as soon as possible, for sure!

Hopefully it's worth the wait (and hopefully you haven't left the fandom by then either) So I hope you stay tuned for my comeback.

Yes, it's a big down on my mood and I'm really angry 😡, but that doesn't change the fact that I still love Rylan and this entire fandom very much. So I'll definitely be returning with Rylan, even if it means there's even fewer people left in the fandom than there already are. I am and will always be a part of the fandom. So even tho I won't be posting anything for a while, I will continue to be there and continue to cheer on other Rylan Artists 🥰💕

And I won't be completely gone after all, bc at least I'll keep writing, publishing and translating my Rylan One Shots! So that doesn't stop (you can't stop me from Rylan!!!! Do you hear, you stupid freakin techy stuff?!?!?!) bc I can still write with my other devices. I just can’t make edits  bc I need my PC and specific programms for that. Maybe it slows me down a bit in writing, but yeah anyways, new one shots and translations will still coming!  So check out my AO3 or Wattpad if you want to. Thanks for all your love and support 💕🌸🖤🤍 and what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger right? 

And sorry for the long post. I had to let my frustration out a little bit. 

By the way here is a little sneak peak of what I was working on. 😅

[skepsiss]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @strangersteddierthings, I've never even thought about half of these questions, so.... we're gunna go on a journey together. I MISSED SEVERAL QUESTIONS LMAO. LEMME UPDATE.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18 (I only post like 1/3 of my fics on AO3)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

66,922. I pay such little attention to this kinda stuff xD

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A lot... and a lot more than what is listed on my AO3. If we're friends I'll literally just message you a 2k+ fic in a DM for funsies.

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (8)

Overwatch (Video Game) (5)

Teen Wolf (TV) (1)

Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021) (1)

Critical Role (Web Series) (1)

Promare (2019) (1)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) (1)

DC Comics / Batman (Tim Drake / Kon-El)

Orphan Black

Marvel (Steve/Tony)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Basket Ball Shorts

Roadrat: The Fire that Covered the World

The Comfort of Warmth (Lio/Galo)

Fifty-fifty (Roadhog / Junkrat)

Perspective (Caleb / Essek)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. As soon as I see them I will reply with a thank you or to engage with someone's question/musings/etc.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably a Roadrat one. It's been a while since I've read my work, but The Things They Lost is a Roadrat fic where I explored a bunch of like... when Junkrat lost his arm and stuff like that. Brutal, tbh. Next closest is my Alucard (OT3) Castlevania fic where he is BIG SAD about Trevor and Sypha not being there. Nights Spent Alone.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

UUuhhhuhuhuh..... I mostly write sad shit LOL. Milkshakes has a happy ending. It's a 2 part modern-day Steddie fic about the boys asking each other out on a date over Instagram.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never seen any hate on my fics before.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Uhh, yeah. I do. PWP or With Plot. I like full stories that have smut that BELONGS there, but then we've got just straight-up PWP. That is what Basketball short is tbh.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, never written a crossover. I've written lots of AUs though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Dunno how I'd figure that out.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Dunno what that would look like tbh.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddie; for right now. My other top 3 are Harley/Ivy, Tim/Kon-El, and Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

NO IDEA. Lol, all my unfinished WIPs are either ones I have no interest in finishing (Roadrat), or ones I can complete faith in being able to finish (Steddie)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Speed. I can compose a story very quickly and put it together.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I never promote myself/share. I'm really bad at sharing my works. Additionally, I'm bad at finishing things before I lose interest.... eep.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Uuhh maybe. I def have some Ancient Greek and Latin in my up-coming Robin (Stobin platonic) fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm not sure... maybe Batman (Tim/Jason or Tim/Kon). I RP'd A LOT from ages 13-18 and had like 5-8 rps going at once for a whole bunch of fandoms. (Naruto, OCs in the Star Wars universe, Tim/Kon, and more I can't remember atm).

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooohhh, I dunno. I'm bad at picking favourites. Right now I'm pretty proud of my Because I Want You Steddie fic. It's Steve and Eddie as 30-year-olds with kids. They broke up in their 20s and are trying to get back together in their 30s. Eddie has a complete breakdown in it, but Steve is there to tell him that he loves him.

I don't think about this stuff at all xDDD Fic writing is just a pass time for me. This will be the first time EVER in over 18 years of writing fic that I've EVER participated in an exchange/Big Bang. I'll tag @medusapelagia @oh-stars @br0ck-eddie @kallisto-k

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

@sohereswhatyoumissedlastweek replied to your post “remember when in idk 2008 you could just go to the...”:

Crazy right? That's also why I was so surprised Santa Monica Studio released a FREE dlc for God of War Ragnarok. And it's a damn good dlc too. It's surprising not to see greed for once

​I have so much to say about gamers and capitalism. As in, I find it kind of baffling how everyone not only seems to accept the new practices (which, to be fair, I get, because what can consumers do against big companies?), but also that people seem to be excited about these new shitty ass business models.

Ine, buckle up. I have a lot to say.

For example, I am beyond pleased that Tears of the Kingdom has no DLC, and people find that weird. How can I be pleased? Don't I want more Tears of the Kingdom??? I mean, yeah, kinda, but I am a huge fan of having things be finished and the devs say it's finished. I only have one thing I really, really miss, but I am content with the game. And in a world where DLCs are nowadays announced even before the game is released, it's a fresh breath of fucking air (of the wild, badum tsssssss-). It's honestly sad that Tears of the Kingdom not having pre-determined DLC is a rarity. Back when the first triple A games started pulling this shit, people were angry and understandably so. The devs basically say "Hey, we're going to release an unfinished product and you gotta pay more to get the full deal!" and people used to hate that, but now it's a common practise.

So yeah, Nintendo gets an A+ for NOT announcing Tears of the Kingdom DLC.

Because I like DLC. I think DLC can be good. Splatoon 2 DLC is amazing. Mario Kart 8 DLC is amazing, but that's because they give a lot of new stuff years after the initial release, so it actually feels like it adds something! The devs didn't have to do it, but they did. But Splatoon 3 also has pre-determined DLC now and not only that, it comes in waves, which is also a new common thing. And interestly enough, there also seems to be a trend where the first wave of DLC is bad (Pokémon, Splatoon 3, Fae Farm...) (Heck, I initally was even excited about the idea of standard Pokémon DLC, since it beats the previous 3rd game model, but this is also not going well.)

This is why I wouldn't mind if, for example, two years later the Tears of the Kingdom devs change their mind and announce DLC anyway. The problem nowadays is just the pre-determined DLC.

And as you said, DLC can just be free. I, for example, respect ConcernedApe so much for making all Stardew Valley updates entirely free, and he added A LOT. All of 1.4 had the multiplayer stuff and 1.5 had basically a whole new post-game that took hours. And 1.6 is also shaping up to add cool stuff. FOR FREE.

I don't mind paying for DLC as long as it is good and doesn't feel greedy af. But also, it feels like you cannot get around it, because I am genuinely interested in Splatoon 3 DLC wave 2, especially since I know the devs can deliver (see Splatoon 2 DLC). I just wish they had approached it differently. But DLC has become greedy, from pre-determined DLC, to bad DLC, to whatever the fuck the Sims 4 is doing.

But this is just DLC. It feels like DLC is a hit or miss: it CAN be good, it CAN be amazing, even. But then we get shit like pay-to-win and whales and microtransactions. I saw in a video from BeatEmUps that even full price games now have additional microtransactions, which is wild. Woods BeatEmUps rightfully calls it out, but I am afraid this is the next step in the industry. The idea of microtransactions is that they are part of the "free-to-play" model, which is unfortunately also a thing studios are prioritising. I paid €4 for Good Pizza, Great Pizza without microtransactions. I could've played it for free on mobile, but then I have microtransactions. I have seen people online say they spent over $50 on it, and that's little. I once asked my friend who plays Genshin whether she spent more than €60 (which is the sale price these days) on that game, and she said "Yeah, definitely" and got a wake-up call. But this is also why Good Pizza, Great Pizza hasn't been updated on the Switch since 2021. I am missing the majority of the game and obv the devs aren't going to prioritise Switch players, since we don't pay them more additional money.

Oh, and the idea that you need an account for everything to even start a game. I was excited to try Fall Guys until I realised it was literally unplayable without an account. There's even a move to being constantly online to even launch a game, which... what the FUCK? Especially with cloudstreaming games etc. If I own a game, I want to be able to play it when I want. That shouldn't be a big thing to ask. Cause... what does it add? With Palia, it allows cross-play, so there it might be a good trade-off and I am actually considering getting an account. But with Palia, you can also play it without it! Here, an account is purely optional and it actually has a function.

"But doesn't Nintendo have an account?" yes, same thing. I have my games linked to my Nintendo account for cloud saving, but it isn't a must to play the games. Although, surprise surprise, I do pay an annual subscription for it, BECAUSE THAT'S ALSO PART OF IT. Sigh. Really. Splatoon 3. Really. I love you. But come on. On paper, it's €60 + €25 + annual €20 (or higher*) to even properly play that game! You don't even pay for a server. You pay for your own wifi. 3DS and Wii U and DS had its own Nintendo servers for FREE. And sure, they are gone now since Nintendo stopped support, so that might be the new trade-off, but still, if I am in a place without great wifi, I cannot play the game I paid €85 for and where I pay €10(*) a year for to play.

(* because you can also get NSO+ for €50, BUT you can also be part of a family plan, which is why I only pay €10 for NSO+, but not everyone can do that.)

Cause I know someone who has over 100 hours on Super Mario Maker, but as he said, the fun is in the online mode and he no longer has NSO, so he stopped playing entirely, and that was his only game on Switch. Luckily, there are still plenty of games that don't need online features, BUT AGAIN, I won't be surprised if the industry starts prioritising them since they will make them more money.

UUUUUUUUGH. I JUST HATE THE PAY-WALLING OF PREVIOUSLY FREE STUFF. I LOVE VIDDY GAMES, BUT VIDDY GAMES DO NOT LOVE ME.