#unfinished art bc I suck

[unsurewhatusernametoput]

I love having to explain to people exactly how obsessed with SIX I was

like my friends will point out when it’s coming to my city and I’m like “yes honey I’ve known, I’ve known since 8 months ago and I have tickets don’t worry” and then when I mentioned six fanfiction and my friend was like “wait people write fanfiction about it?” “Yes and I’ve read so so many that I had to read wattpads fics FUCKING WATTPAD, if you read the six the musical fics on there you would know….I also know like every ship of the six and probably have read a diff of it” “PEOPLE SHIP THEM?!?!? Aren’t they like cousins?” “Yes but luckily the fandom is small enough no one ships the incest ✌️😜”

then he went on to tell me I was the person that drew Miku binder Tomas Jefferson 😭😭😭

and then when someone sends u a six meme and u have to pretend you’ve seen it for the first time (so that they keep talking abt ur intrest)

one time I was in a little six the musical thingy and the director was asking everyone abt a “little” background about the queens and one person from each group would answer, (I was in the Boylens, but like ofc bc I literally am Anne Boylen and the main character soooo) AND A KID FROM MY GROUP SHOT UP HER HAND AND THE TEACHER CALLED ON HER AND THE SHIT SHE SAID WAS “she uh grew up in France and then married the king and then flirted with 3 guys and then got beheaded” LIKE NO BITCH SHE DID NOT DONT RAISE UR HAND IF UR GUNNA LIE TO US DHFHJFJDIDISKSJSJWHUEUEUE SO THEN I RAISED MY HAND TO HELP HER PUT THERE 😭😭😭✌️😭

ALSO I TAUGHT MY GROUP SO MUCH SHIT ABT HER IN FACT EVERYONE AT THAT PLACE KNEW I WAS THE HISTORY ONE SO THEY WOULD COME UP TO ME AND BE LIKE “hey _____ do u know anything about Anna of Cleves” UMMM HELL YEAH !!!!!!! IT WAS SO FUN 🤭🤭🤭🤭

another time I was doing Karoke and me & my friend wanted to sing SIX and she’s like “so which song” and I’m like “I know the lines to like all of them so we can do any one”

one time my friends said “her forehead is so big it could be Library full of SIX facts” 💪

also I had(ve) no friends that were this intensely or at all obsessed with it so I would literally be fucking texting myself links to videos and stuff

Also like one time I got jumpscared bc out of the corner of my eye I saw Santa Claus and thought it was H*nry VIII

Also I have seen almost every single one of Art E’s (person who made six the kids) tumblr posts + may or may not have also gotten a virus (no fr I’m not sure) from tumblr when scrolling through six posts

whenever I couldn’t sleep or was home alone yes I would perform six and yes I would know most of the lines

the biggest album on my phone is six photos + I have separate albums for every queen and their kids

also I have seen pretty much every incorrect SIX quote and they are pretty much inside jokes with myself

when I would get really anxious I would imagine my life if I was an actor on tour playing Boylen and my friendship which each of the other random actors and also I would imagine my favorite six six (the last song) animatic

there were times where I could hardly do anything without thinking “OMG THIS IS SO JANE SEYMOUR LIKE I,AGINE IF THE QUEENS WERE HERE AND JEHFJDJWKWKWMMA” (to myself in my head I’m not annoying like that….well to anyone but G)

I wanted to make a Anne Boylen cosplay SOOOO BAD despite having no cosplay skills one time I tried to make one for a belle doll I bought at goodwill speicifically for that purpose and also one out of cardboard

I have an album with all of the bootlegs I could find that aren’t just a black screen and can send it to u

and yet although I’ve been obsessed for 2-3 years I have hardly made any art for it and just have like 50 million unfinished sketches and may or may not have unfinished fanfics and so so many mental ideas of animatics (idk how to animate) that I abandoned after a day and I own 4 pieces of merch that I didn’t make myself (7 if u include the stuff I made) ✌️😭 ✌️😖

when I was bored instead of watching a Netiflix show or listening to music like a normal person, oh no, I would rewatch H*nry VIII oversimplified I’ve seen it like 10 times honestly a banger

Also if you know these 3 songs you are SUCH a real one and I love you;

-divorced behead and died 🗣️🔥💯‼️ divorced beheaded survived 🗣️🔥💯‼️ IM H*NRY VIII IVE HAD 6 SORRY WIVES YOU COULD SAY I RUINEDTHEIR LIVES 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

-H*NRY H*NRY H*NRY HAD SO MANY WIVES THAT HAD TO DIE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️ H*NRY H*NRY H*NRY HAD SO MANY ONLY ONE SURVIED ☝️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

-ITS SO SUPER CRAZY THAT I GOT TO BE QUEEN 🗣️🔥🔥💯‼️‼️‼️ THE ODDS WERE AGAISNT IT IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN OFC I WAS THE DAUGHTER TO A POWERFUL KING BUT I NEVER THOUGHT I’D END UP WEARING THIS THING 👑👑🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️

Also yes I censor H*nry and not fuck bc it’s funny and I like that it’s like a little with us six fans 💪 as well as Henrat

also I did a history project on Elizabeth I

also at another preppy little thing I did was think which of my friends are each of the queens bc I’m Boylen therefore we all have to be besties

And I could write something probably longer than this post abt my head canons of what I think their personality would be like au’s how I think their friendships are to each other what they would like and dislike, basically a really advanced sim and yes I have made them in the sims but sims 3 won’t let me have more than 8 so Edward had to go also Eddy is an iPad kid bc I deicided like come on Jane would so give him and iPad and be like “oh yes ofc I will pay 20 dollars so u can have new robux 😇”

also I have every single one of the queens and their kids deathdays on my calendar (Mae is not included) as well as their birthdays

also it has been 2 years and I still remeber the time and date I saw six for the first time (cried 6 times 3 when it started 3 when it ended) 💪💪💪

being a SIX fan is having no clue what to say when someone asks how many wars H*nry fought but knowing the amount of miscarriages Lina had

fun fact: Henry killed thousands more ppl than Mary ✌️😜

One time I got in like a 30 minute argument with my friends Snapchat ai about whether or not H*nry deserves decent human respect BITCH JUST BCZ IT WAS A “DIFFRENT TIME” DOESNT KAKE IT OKAY” 😤😤😤

ALSO I HAVE SOOOO MANY UNPOPULAR OPINIONS AND ALSO KATHRYN PARR IS SPELT WITH A K GUYS GET IT RIGHT BC ELIZABETH MADE HER A FRENCH VERSION OF ONE OF HER BOOKS AND PUT HER INITIALS ON IT WHIC WERE KP ‼️‼️‼️

Also fun fact Elizabeth signed everything Elizabeth R because R means Regina which means queen in Latin or something and Elisabeth could speak SOOO MANY diffrent Languages.

[kinos-fortress-2]

hope everyone know how much they mean to me (i dont show it enough my bad)

[canneddolts]

would-be promotional art

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au

this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂

i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl

[tinytieflingtiff]

tonight, the anti-satisfactionist sneers,

“you won’t return to the gap in your bed,

or your clean and tidy little room.”

vague screenshot redraws from this video ft. leon and samuel (samuel being the “mc” and leon being the cat. song is from both their perspectives Interchangeably... very specific In my brain but mainly leon’s ig..)

[buckleydiazmp4]

do you mind if i ramble in the tags about my weird relationship with making art in fandom for a second

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

if you have paid any attention to my ramblings on my process, you know that i tend to rethink my comics and toss out a lot of work if im not satisfied with how it turned out. so i thought id share some previews of comics that have gone unseen, and why they havent been posted (yet?) in order of how likely i am to finish and/or post them :)

(under cut bc long post)

Be nice to each other: Main 4. Tomtord/Polyworld, angst. 4 pages. Matt confronts Tom and Tord on how have been acting, accidentally compelling them into saying how they really feel.

Status: abandoned.

I drew this one quite a while ago and i still really like the dialogue and character interactions i wrote for it! vampire hypnosis is a super cool concept and im definitely going to use it in the future, but this ultimately didnt pan out how i wanted it to.

Why it's not posted: while the buildup and climax are really good, this would be a huge mess to clean up. this would require some serious work both between the four of them and on my part for writing and drawing all of that!! plus, it would totally change the relationship dynamic between Tom and Tord, possibly ending it altogether (and i still have so much i want to do with them!!!)

Ed and Edd: Eduardo, Edd, Eduardo's mother. No pairings, angst. 3 pages. Eduardo can't wait to introduce himself at school, but he's got competition for the name he chose.

Status: abandoned.

Trans Eduardo is such a good concept. imagine figuring out who you are only to find out someone else already is that. of course you're going to hate them.

Why it's not posted: two main reasons. one is that i couldn't figure out how to end the comic (a recurring theme lol), but another is that i'm still not super confident with writing Eduardo yet. ...or writing children. so kid Eduardo is a challenge.

Can't tell where you're looking: Tommatt, fluff. 3 pages. Tom isn't as sneaky as he thinks he is.

Status: on my list!

Tommatt fans, i have heard your pleas i have received your asks. it's on my list.

Why it's not posted: i had a great idea, drew several pages, thought about it, and decided it sucked, actually. it can be reworked, but my motivation did not get out unscathed.

Bad (?) Dream: Tomtord, uh.... yeah thats just smut huh. 2 pages. A bad dream for one and a good dream for the other.

Status: ???

I'm not saying SHIT.

Why it's not posted: originally, it was because i didn't want to post suggestive stuff on this blog. now, it's because i found better ways to cover the concepts in this comic. Y'all will simply have to wait and see ;)

Matt figures it out: Matt, Tom. could be Tommatt. hurt/comfort. a collection of random sketches. Matt figures out how to turn into a bat! It sucks!

Status: on my list!

I've been wanting to talk about this SOOOO BAD!!! because why would you transform in a second via a poof of smoke when it could be an hour-long painful disturbing process?! honestly could be described as hurt/comfort/hurt.

Why it isn't posted: well for one it barely counts as a comic, just random sketches and a general idea. to be fair thats how most of my comics start, but... you know. i havent worked on it in a while mainly because the characters need to solve some personal problems first.

Not tonight: Tordmatt. fluff/suggestive. 2 pages. Matt's got pointy ears again, and Tord knows what that means!

Status: on my list!

TORDMATT FANS I HAVE ALSO HEARD YOUR PLEAS! Also, yippee i get to infodump about my headcanons via a comic

Why it's not posted: unfinished, and i hit a bit of a road block. usually its in writing, but this time its in the art half! so i have no idea how to get around it yet!!!

Puberty sucks fr. imagine losing an eye: Tom, Tom's mother. no pairings. angst. 3 pages. When did Tom's eyes change?

Status: on my list!

You all remember the soul-crushing existential grief that started at the same time as puberty, right? No, just me? Huh.

Why it isn't posted: layout isn't quite what im looking for :/ also, a half-naked child on tumblr, even in a completely non-sexual context, is something i am slightly apprehensive about!

Something's wrong: Main 4. Polyworld, angst/suggestive. 20+ pages. Tom doesn't feel well. Edd, Matt, and Tord try to help.

Status: actively working on it

Oh, you guys remember that poll? Haha thats funny. Yeah i'm still working on this one.

Why it isn't posted: uh its not done yet. and also i am unsure of whether or not it will be allowed on tumblr. or whether or not i want people to speculate on my entire deal.

...and while i'm here:

Communication comic part 6: IN PROGRESS!! these idiots need to establish boundaries. all of them. i believe <3

Zombie Tord part 4: ON MY LIST! i want to get through the communication comic first :3

thank u for reading all my ramblings :D! i am so fucking excited to continue working on all of my dumb shit and i am so happy that ppl like said dumb shit

[ganondoodle]

totk is like a highly polished alpha build of a game to me

graphic- fantastic, i just love botws style of graphics, its the perfect blend of something more realistic but very stylized and timeless

visual design- great, i cant stand anything sonau (zonai), and ganondorfs concept art is better than final (and still involves lots of annyoing stereotypes) but overall still pretty solid

sound design- phenomenal, it really is, the underground, the rain on the parasail? unmatched, already loved botw but they really outdid themselves here

music- possibly best in the series to me, like ... theres so many fantastic tracks, in isolation i love so many of them so much ... which sucks bc being connected to such a lackluster rest sours them badly

mechanics- working but undercooked/unfit for the world, its impressive they got ultrahand working at all, but its still clunky/quickly frustrating and badly balanced also contributes to utterly destroying botws world design- this ability was simply not made for this world and is in the end both detrimental to it and itself, bc that mechanic could have truly shined in a game REALLY build around it (... if they could manage to balance it well and stop handing you the solution, it would be funyn if it werent so sad how many times the game literally doesnt even make you engage with its main gimmick bc it just hands you the prebuild thing) time reversal breaks every puzzle/challenge, also unbalanced, ceiling jump is the most harmless but i still think it lets you skip too much

writing- worst in the series, where would i even start with that, not a single character is written well/interestingly, most detrimentally the main characters, .. like all of them, zelda, ganondorf, rauru... and the "story", its barely even bare bones, its plain cardboard with an old divine right propaganda slogan written on, continuity in a direct sequel is non existant, there is no follow up on anything, why did they call it that when they dont seem to have any love for anything botw did given how much they trample over everything it established, i struggle to believe they actually thought this was good, theres has to have been trouble during development

world design/changes- a joke, ... i dont know how people dont feel scammed by how little was actually changed, no, a few rocks sprinkled througout are not meaningful changes, i was one of the people not worried about them reusing the world bc i loved this world and was sure theyd meaningfully change it- god how wrong i was; the sky and underground are both like the bare bones with textures and placeholder rewards/points of interest, they both do not matter at all and their potential is yet again utterly, painfully, wasted and only add more points of destruction to the map in case of the sky, and both add confusion about everything, not the good kind of intriguing confusion, the bad nothing makes sense confusion it really does seem like they put some quick changes into every main point of interest where most players would go to make them think they changed things when .. they only changed these parts, barely, either bc they knew everyone would skip around the world anyway so it wouldnt be worth it, or bc its ... unfinished

game design/structure- baffling (bad), connected to the point above, but it truly is beyond me why they repeated the exact same structure as botw while removing what made that work, why would you repeat every point of interest of the previous game, i know zelda games always have their regions and thats where stuff happens, but they REUSED THE SAME WORLD, you CANNOT repeat the exact same points in the same world, you just cant, its the same places, the same characters, the same structure (aka dungeons being less interesting/easier titans (divine beasts) with a paint job in structure), you basically erase the well integrated ancient tech civilization to replace it with another, not well integrated, more boring and overly pushed into your face, ancient tech civilization and make them the answer to everything that ever was (BORING), the same story structure (but worse, like the memory system but remove what made it work in botw)- AND THEN repeat the same points in the underground too? thats bonkers, literally baby bananas

dungeons/puzzles - worse than botw by FAR, as mentioned above, dungeons are less interesting titans with a paintjob (plus an extraordinarily awful cutscene, which is repeated like FIVE TIMES almost word for word), they serve no purpose but to act like they are totally real traditional dungeons when they are not, they are laughing at you, shrines are back with a paintjob with less interesting puzzles (if they even have one given how many just give you a spirit orb knock off) that can all be skipped, though the puzzles can often not even be called that (put log over gap WOOOAH puzzle) among many awful and unecessary tutorial ones (its not bad to have easy ones, but aside from the few ones that take all your stuff away -omg restrictions in MY freedom tm game??- which are the best ones, to have none be even a little challenging or not utterly skippable without even using glitches, its like they didnt even try to stop you from cheating, which is like being given a skip button with no strigns attached, doesnt even let you feel smart bc you dont have to try to cheat)

UI/controls- awful, you cant tell me this was tested by real people playing for longer than 10 minutes at once, how did the ghosty sage control scheme and arrow/weapon fusing get through this, HOW, its unbelievably tedious and detrimental to any fun (as im doing with my rewrite, a crafting system would have been so good here ..... like a proper simple crafting system, have the materials, craft your new arrow types in stacks etc) the ghost sages are not only utterly useless in combat, but clog your screen, play distracting animations as soon as you look at a slope, you constantly accidentally activate them or the wrong one bc its mapped to the main interact button!!! if you use them say goodbye to your framerate, fights are now spent chasing after some ghost guy whos actively running away from you, they do not invoke a feeling of 'connection' to my 'friends', they are invoking feelings of hatred and frustration

performance- ... passable (if you dont have the sages out .... well, it runs better than pokemon scarlet so i guess its fine, the lag when closing and opening the menu is rly annoying, especially combined with the finger and patience breaking menues and how often you need to open a game pasuing menue, but fights with a monster horde AND the sages out? yeah no its as bad as pokemon scarlet at its worst, not to mention the chaos of having five useless ghost scramble around you getting knocked around by enemies)

price- a scam, this game is not worth 70 bucks, its just not, if you get a used copy and dont spend more time in it than it takes for you to just go straight to the main points, or if you dont care about anything else but dicking around with a clunky building system ... then you can have some fun with it yeah ..... still not worth 70 money, theres probably better building games out there for less too

it jsut feels not done, not finished, its presentation and some parts are highly polished and their marketing for it is unlike anything i have ever seen, but its so .... unfinished, no amount of epic visuals is gonna let me not think of this game being half done at best, after what, 6 years of development no less? with most assets already being there and being reused unaltered??

(i am holding tightly onto the theory of it either having an extremely troubled development that is being hidden bc of their reputation, or some sort of neglect in order to focus on other more lucrative projects, this is just all too weird to me)

[the-meme-monarch]

I had to get a new phone recently bc my data just decided it wasn’t going to work anymore. i could not call or text nor could i receive calls or texts from others. put a new sim card in it and that didn’t work. we took it to a specialist and they just said ‘yeah idk if there’s any fixing this. i think you’re just gonna have to get a new phone’ which sucks complete fuck bc it’s barely a year old i think and i had Just changed the ringtone to be less annoying. i factory reset it and still nothing. anyway the reason i made this post, i think if i ever have to do that for my ipad i’m gonna do an ask game where you send me a number between 1 and however-many-canvases i have in ibispaint x and whatever number you pick i just show you the art associated. bc everything in there is shit i haven’t posted (it is all unfinished) and the thought of deleting it all pains me badly

[utilitycaster]

you getting push back on that post is crazy to me isn't it enough to watch and get invested in something for what it is currently rather than what it will be? I have so many unfinished projects in my own life it'd be crazy to demand polished completion from everything I watch/read. my unfinished sketches and embroidery and abandoned dnd campaigns still brought joy and growth without having a polished thing to present at the end

So what's funny to me is like. I have referenced this before here and elsewhere but like, as a child, I was SO bad at ambiguous and sad endings and my mother was like, not unkind about this, but neither did she coddle it, and I think that laid a groundwork that was really necessary.

My tags, which got lost bc I did NOT expect that post to break containment, do actually touch on how Netflix and other streaming services canceling things to avoid paying people a fair wage fucking suck but yeah here's a list of creative endeavors I participated in or watched/listened to/read that do not as of this posting have endings and I still liked, and many of them aren't even directly attributable to capitalism because this is just a fact of life and art.

As mentioned, both A Song of Ice and Fire and the Kingkiller Chronicles.

Multiple D&D campaigns for sure (I actually don't make D&D characters without a game in mind and find it weird that people do and so I'm like why am I the one arguing for the beauty of the incomplete).

Multiple fics, both mine and others.

King Falls AM, a podcast I binged in like 2018-2019 and despite being a mystery never actually completed bc the creators couldn't agree.

I think Battlestar Galactica 2003 is one of the most brilliant shows of its era and also the finale, which happened when the creators intended it to, is really dumb, and that doesn't undo the fact that I loved everything else.

How I Met Your Mother ends really poorly in a way that arguably undercuts the whole series, but like, I still liked that too.

Ditto for Chuck, which also struggles in that it was on the chopping block most seasons so they kept ending in ways that probably weren't true to whatever the original vision may have been.

I saw Firefly on DVD after it had already been canceled, I think Serenity is good but I don't love all the choices, and Joss Whedon has since been revealed to be a dick but like, I enjoyed myself greatly while watching it.

As mentioned, Heroes. I didn't watch much TV until my teens anyway because we didn't have cable and our reception sucked and we were very much a book household, and this was one of the first series I recall watching from season 1 and it's also the first TV series where I was like yeah I don't care anymore, and it went on for 4 seasons and I think I gave up either late S2 or early S3.

I didn't watch Supernatural, Game of Thrones, nor Grey's Anatomy but all of those are famous for outstaying their welcome, sometimes it's better to burn out than fade away, etc.

I had already long outgrown Harry Potter and started to see its limitations by the time Rowling's transphobia became public but like, now it's not something I would ever recommend to my friends' kids or anything, and that doesn't undo the fact that I did greatly enjoy it as a child and teenager; it was indirectly the reason why I was introduced to the superior fantasy of Diana Wynne Jones, which I do still reread from time to time. (I think the "well I never liked it" mentality about works from artists who end up being terrible people is tied into the "I can't get invested in anything that might end in an unsatisfying manner." Tumblr University's media studies grads are not the brightest stars in the firmament, that's for sure.)

Like, cancellation (let alone cancellation specifically because of the unique shittiness of streaming services) is just one of the many reason things might end in a way you dislike or become difficult for you to enjoy at a later date, and that's just talking about television. Are you really going to deny yourself the joy of anticipation and watching a story unfold in real-time because the thought of something not satisfying you at every single turn is so unfathomable?

(oh, and because this is, as we know, a CR blog much of the time, I should add that this mentality is really pervasive which is wild because your average 3-season canceled Netflix show is probably the equivalent of maybe 9-10 CR episodes; thinking about how many people who now claim C2 is terrible watched 141 episodes and also the person who is iconic to me who unironically asked me what the point was in getting invested in characters who will die re: Chetney)

[matd0]

life update ig ??:

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi !!!

ok so

1. i mentioned about having medical issues and some people got concerned so i just want to quickly explain the thing yk; in short it turns out having anxiety can cause heart arrhythmia ????? which can be like kinda dangerous;; but like in most cases it's fairly harmless so i should be alright :] !! still have to go check it out at the hospital (which i have been sorta putting off for a while bc yk. anxiety,, lol) but like other than it stressing me out a bit, everything is relatively fine :]

2. school is kicking my ass rn 💀 have a lot of unfinished work and missed a ton of classes bc my mental health kinda sucks,, so yk it's not exactly going great lol. but uhhhhhhhhhh im sure I'll figure it out ? ig ?? ye.

3. got a small art block. well it's more like "i have so much work to do, how dare i draw at a time like this" (and then just go to sleep bc im soo stressed and overwhelmed about everything 💀) but like. I'll probably get over it soon 🤷

idk i also just feel super obligated to always post super high effort paintings if i have many followers yk? like alot of the time i just feel like my drawings aren't good enough and everyone will like despise me for it;; and idk ig i just need constant approval for everything i do for some reason sjdhjshd. ik it's like. a really inaccurate and terrible way to look at it but i just can't rlly help it;;

uhhh all that to say, i hope it's alright if i post more sketches and unfinished drawings ? ;;

4. i would like to formally apologize for barely responding to literally anything. like. im so sorry dudes;;;;;;; unfortunately i have. very intense social anxiety and literally do not respond to anyone ever. (/srs it's like. a genuine issue in my life. whoops) but like i feel super bad about it bc i don't want to seem like i don't care T_T cuz lik e. i literally read every comment, message, tag, etc. and they always make me so so so happy ;;;;; like i routinely show screencaps of random comment to my friends gush about how nice they are 💀 idk point being; im a loser, i love all of you and it blows my mind that anyone cares about my silly drawings for a p much dead fandom lol.

extra: also i uh made a creepypasta oc 🧍‍♂️might post about him maybe idk im scared it'll be cringe sjhsjsgdhgdhd epic

TLDR; pretty stressed, small art block, school suckz, might die but probably not lol.

(sorry this came off super negative and sort of venty 💀 its all good i swear, im just silly)

[mekatrio]

also when i read all the upgrades that the ✨Definitive✨ version of vesperia had it just makes me SOOOOO excited for thesurely confirmed maybe or not upcoming abyss remaster like YESSSSS cuz jfc the only possible way to play abyss rn is either the ps2 version w egregious load times or the 3ds version where the framerate drops EVERY TIME you cross a bridge on a map... so goddd am i excited for a version that is actually. STABLE. and maybe this is too wishful to hope for but i do... hope gameplay improves... but also idk how that could be done cuz honestly ive been thinking abt it yknow and like.... abyss is kinda rough and unpolished af in the gameplay sense like it feels. almost very obviously unfinished... and i wouldnt be surprised if it really was unfinished cuz from what little i did read abt the development cycle, there was quite a lot that was left out in the original japanese release that was later patched in the english (US?) release, like a bunch of missing artes and stuff.. and even beyond that like. theres still a lot thats feels unfinished, with how like.. cuz yknow in a typical jrpg, every time u visit or revisit a new or old town, theres something new to do there. but with tota sometimes u go back to a town... just for the sake of being there. like ok u talk to someone.. and thats it?! theres so much town-hopping like huhh. but what makes it even weirder is how several locations have pathways that should logically lead to some new area.. but it just never becomes accessible ever. like that path to the residencies in yulia city. or the path to the factory in belkend. or that door in the chapel of grand chokmah. and im sure theres several more ive forgotten to list but yeah in this sense abyss does feel unfinished... not to mention how incredibly awkward some of these map designs are like brah fucking... DAATH.... Also that weird moment when we went down to the core where the game really hyped it up as like This Is Going To Be A Timed Event Get Fucking Ready and then it wasnt a timed event like huh wtf. which is especially weird bc the game Has had timed event like during the fucking uh airplane in the canyon moment. but ok.. but yeah really idk how they could ever fix all of this cuz honestly the map design jank is kinda really deeply embedded into the game and it might honestly just be a waste of resources to even try to amend it atp but yeah.. its just something ive been thinking abt. kinda sucks that the gameplay aspect of abyss is this lacking cuz GODDDD the writing... is sooo so good. so incredibly good that it might actually be my favorite jrpg in terms of writing like sorry final fantasies but this is... woawefjdsk... i love u tales of the abyss

[iraprince]

hi ira, you're a big inspo for me! especially as a fellow adhd artist.. i often struggle with "letting go" sketches / leaving them be, i always end up focusing on each as if it has to become a full piece. i personally feel this is bc of my adhd and was wondering if you struggled with something similar, or had any advice on sketching?

thank you so much! and yeah, okay, let's chew on this one and see what we can come up with.

so i actually usually have the opposite problem: I can generate a bunch of loose sketches really quickly, but i have a really hard time buckling down and putting the focus in to take any of them all the way to being full pieces. i think sketching and leaving those sketches as-is comes easily to me because i enjoy it (as in i physically enjoy the feeling of drawing in a loose, gestural style, AND i aesthetically enjoy how unfinished sketches look), and i'm extremely accustomed to it (most workdays i start up by doing ~45-90 mins of sketches, usually a few digital pages worth). these things combine so that the habit of churning out a bunch of little images and then immediately moving on is something that's really natural to me.

HOWEVER i am def not just advising "sit yourself down and sketch for an hour and a half every day" with no other context; i think "draw every day" as ironclad advice is usually pretty clumsy and isn't always applicable to how people work best, or always effective against what actually trips people up with art stuff. i think a lot of this is abt getting mindset right!!! drilling and repetition is good later for building speed and confidence but it's not as useful until u've figured out the underlying struggle imo.

so, some thoughts:

do u keep going on the sketch bc u get distracted by the idea of the final piece, and u just get sucked in to progressing toward that? for me, sometimes i do nail a sketch and im like "ooh, i want to do something more with that!" — but because these sketches happen during my warmup time and i need to keep moving, i don't do it right away. i usually just make a note right on the canvas, or i copy/paste the sketch into a separate file to come back to later. if u get the urge to keep going on a piece bc u want it to have more, but what u Actually want is to do a few more sketches, consider scooting the sketch over into a wip file/folder/etc for later (if ur working digitally; set it aside in a physical wip folder if you're working traditionally).

do u keep going on the sketch bc ur insecure about the fact that it isn't polished, or bc u feel like it "needs" more to look good? u may be affected by The Spectre of Posting. something i have wrestled with constantly and that i think many artists wrestle with is that, even if we aren't having these thoughts consciously, whenever ur drawing there is kind of this little voice in the back of ur head that's like. "is this gonna be good enough to post. if it turns out crappy i won't want to post it and then i will have wasted all this time. will this flop? if i post this will it make me look like i'm bad at drawing? what if this isn't as good as the last thing i posted and then it looks like im getting worse" and on and on and fucking on. this is all fucking nonsense, but also it's really hard to break out of. try, as hard as you possibly can, to start becoming okay w the idea that not everything is for posting, and that if something doesn't turn out great or u don't necessarily want it to like Artistically Represent You then nobody ever has to see it, and i think u might find that a lot of the tense little subconscious urges and hangups and anxieties you have about your work will start to unravel. any statement abt your art that starts with "i feel like i need to...." or "i feel like i should...." is probably somehow tangled up with the idea of other peoples' eyes on your work, and as long as you're letting a vibe like that breathe down your neck, you really can't draw freely.

do you keep going on the sketch bc you just don't like the sketch and you think if you keep picking at it it will eventually get better? well — okay, sometimes you're right! sometimes picking at something endlessly is how u eventually get something really nice and fleshed out and cool looking. but also we are mortal creatures with a limited amount of time on this earth and i am assuming from the fact that u asked for advice that u want to create More drawings. so the only real advice for this category of sketch hangup is: dude, fuck it. make a bunch of bad sketches. do it on purpose, if that helps loosen you up! designate "fucked up stupid sketch day" and make a bunch of the most dogshit drawings you can muster. remember when earlier i said part of why this is easy for me is bc i do so MUCH of it? sometimes it's about volume. if every time u start on a sketch, it ends up being the only thing u pick at for the next few days, of COURSE it's going to start feeling super precious and high stakes to you. you're not being irrational for getting attached to stuff u spend time fussing over. but if u want to be LESS fussy and LESS attached, probably the fastest way is to just start making yourself churn a bunch of shit out, because if you've made TWELVE little sketches today who actually cares if four of them are dogshit. make MORE of them, and it becomes way less serious. u can use time limits to push yourself along, if that helps — an exercise i really like is putting my music on shuffle and then doing a bunch of little drawings where i work on each one for ONLY the duration of one song each. when the song ends, i stop working on the sketch i'm on and move on to a new one. and sometimes they're totally dogshit, because the best songs in the world are all sub 2mins! or draw yourself a bunch of very small rectangles on a sheet of paper and fit a bunch of little drawings into those. anything to help Shove u past the idea that a drawing has to, like, LOOK LIKE anything or be cute or appealing or look good in any capacity will help break up the apprehension u get about wanting sketches to come out a certain way.

i have talked ur ear off as always but i hope that some of this is helpful!! or if i totally missed the mark and none of this connects w u re: why u find this stuff challenging, pls feel free to send me another ask clarifying what u get stuck on and i'll see if i can think of any potential fixes :)

[leggyre]

You got any adivce for someone who's considering dropping drawing completely since they don't like what they're making at all?

honestly i've been in the same struggle recently bc it just hasn't been a good year for me. i haven't been drawing a lot bc most of the time i'm either sick or i just.. can't. I've been picking myself up as of late and it's a really difficult grind, but honestly the fact i've been able to actually start this grind is already good for now. I guess that counts as advice; be patient with yourself. Self-esteem doesn't come easy and the little steps are worth so much more than you think.

ok so uh,

-if you just started, don't think about it too much. we all start with the weird scribbles. if you stop now you might never get back to it -if you've been trying to doodle often and always end up hating the result, just take a break. art block is seasoning for burnout and you might just be tired. a lot of times i've felt bad about my art i kinda "gave up" for a while and when i came back to it it was like "wtf this easy what was my issue (it was burnout)". so take a break, play some videogames or hang out with your friends for a week. idk write essays about the media you like? it feels like you're being unproductive but resting IS part of productive because just pushing yourself will just result in nothing being done at the end of the day. -look at your favorite work! im not quite out of my latest artblock yet because its a tough one(it's been teaming up with depression caused by health problems it suuuuucks :/), but when i went long enough without being able to draw I kinda started feeling like I can't do shit and can't call myself an illustrator at all specially bc what i do isnt that big of a deal compared to others(<- comparison also big mistake remember youre the only one who can make YOUR art), going through my folders and seeing the stuff I like the most gave me a LOT of motivation to keep going, even if I was still unable to start drawing right away. not giving up is so important. -so yeah love your art. focus on drawing things you like because it's a gift from you to you, and you should treat it as such. i know it's really hard to be positive about it all the time but it can be really good to go through all your artwork at the end of a day and look at the things you like about it, even if it isn't much. -on that note, find something you really like drawing!!! back in high school i had massive periods of depression that kept me from drawing but i occasionally found sort of a 'life hack' for myself which were things i was always able to work with even during the worst times. one of them was just.. bees. i just doodled random characters as these bees and made og designs too and it was fun. the other one was using colored pencils instead of a regular one bc i just like colors and it made me happy :] it didnt matter that they always had the same overall shape or if i couldnt erase when i messed up, i was just feeling good being able to draw something that i liked. -experiment more!! expand your palettes and download some new brushes. i even change from my newest to my old busted tablet that still sorta works occasionally because using a tool that feels different is.. refreshing somehow? idk -when you need to get yourself back up, do the little steps at your own pace. do a little doodle every day. it's okay if it's always the same thing. the same character. the exact same idea. it's okay if it sucks or if it's unfinished because you struggled. Just give it little pushes. What matters is to try. and it's okay if you can't do it every day. maybe every other day if you need a slower pace. -and remember. engagement doesn't measure your skill. art is subjective anyways!!!!! i spent YEARS doodling and posting only my ocs and getting little to no notes. i think one of my favorite artworks from the time i had ~100 followers had like 0 notes for the longest time. to be honest i don't even know if it has any likes at all nowadays i'd have to look it up bc it's a bit buried

[nicegaai]

thinking about the fucking fanfic i need to finish again EVEN THOUGH i swore off working on it during xmas season >:(

i got caught up in real life stuff + stuck on the writing process bc of some stuff i wasnt happy with (and somehow , if its unfinished, it feels ok if i dont like the quality bc its not a Whole Finished Product. does that make sense? once its finished its more critique-able and i dont like that.) so i back burner'd it for a while but im sick again and i wanna be WRITINGGGGGGGG

scenes i havent written yet are haunting me heehee haha i need my otp to KISS i wanna make them KISSSSSSSSSSSSS i wanna skip the bits that make me think and just do some fucking and sucking or whatever. ok actually that would drive me insane. im mildly irritated that i made the thing too much of a stretch like its dead unbelievable. its breaking the immersion levels of not great writing. i dont know what to do about that except maybe just write it anyway and end it and try not to think about it too hard. ughhhhh. makes me not wanna write it somewhat. BUT. im itching to get back to it also. just for the story. i just wanna be in the story again. ive been drawing art for it a little bit. im thinkin about them...

can i just write the rest of the scenes as the bare minimum information needed to communicate my vision and call it good -_- can i just be like "OK SO get this . and then in the next thing the one guy is like , whoa, and the other guy is like , ^-^ !!!" <- i could do this and write the equivalent of 20k words and we will all have fun

[tugoslovenka]

I think people like you are what is prompting studios like Larian to go into big business and selling their souls. Trying to appease a crowd of people like yourself, who constantly tries to find criticism about something no AAA studio would be able to produce. They are an INDIE studio producing a masterpiece like BG3 and you are going to complain about how they didn't give you act 4? I mean this in the nicest way possible, you need to stop being on tumblr.

well i was going to respond respectfully, but you are an absolute cunt and coward for hiding under anon so i'm going to say it - eat shit.

let's kick it off with: me and my random tumblr blog that posted something with what, 800 notes? is going to be downfall of larian? if that's the case, i demand a trial by combat on nestle next, maybe i can use my powers for good.

larian is an indie studio definitionally in that it's independent from major studios, but we all understand that "indie" refers to smaller scale studios so trying to slot them in there as though they don't have millions in revenue and the time to do games for as long as they want is appalling. even still, indie studios deserve to get criticism for an unfinished product. not addresing obvious issues with their games in an effort to place them on a pedastal bc they're not EA does nothing in service of the industry. you will not get a paycheck from larian by sucking dick any chance you can get.

bg3 is a game that is in partnership with WOTC, getting material that has existed for decades. it's not like they're starting from scratch when it comes to the content either, so let's not pretend this was larian's doing. it's dnd in video game form. using rules and mechanics that have existed for a long time.

i'm going to complain about whatever i fucking want when act 3 is a giant mess that has been broken since august. i am going to complain when i get an epilogue 4 months after release. i am going to complain when the game almost breaks my pc bc it's horribly optimized. i am going to complain when something doesn't work. i am going to complain about the ppl trying to defend a multimillion dollar studio like they're the second coming of video game jesus just because they're not abusing employees, sexually harrassing devs and making lackluster products. that's the literal bare minimum.

the only reason i came back to tumblr is bc i felt a strong love for the game and i love the community that's attached to it. there's some fantastic art, fanfiction and discussions/disourse that happens on the daily that i want to be a part of bc the game is fantastic. phenomenal even. but to pretend as if it doesn't have obvious drawbacks, issues is stupid. to defend larian is even stupider. a corporation that size should not be given freebies, no matter how "indie" they are. tenchent has a 30% stake in larian studios, a company with over 400 BILLION in revenue. spare me the cries of how their lazy patches and hotfixes should be celebrated when the game was not released in full. i will not grant any studio that grace. especially one that has already done this before.

fuck off.