#but yeah 'my whole family is dead' is an insane thing to say when you have a wife and kids and a mom and at least a couple in laws?

[marsixm]

emo things my 38 manager has said:

-i dont crave joy, i crave death

-my whole family is dead (authors note: no theyre not????)

-i hate rainbows, they bring people happiness

-[in response to me saying we had to take care of him while the other manager was gone, like an elderly dog] so youre saying i need to be put down?

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Five

“Robs!” Steve shouts through the apartment, toeing his shoes off at the door.

“Kitchen!”

Steve heads through, and he can’t help but notice something looks kind of off. It looks different in here but he can’t quite put his finger on it, “Robs, did you do something to your apartment?”

“Yeah, I cleaned it.”

“Oooh. Yeah,” Steve looks back through the kitchen doorway, “yeah, that’s what’s different.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, bitch.”

“Fuckface.”

Steve frowns, there’s a cookbook propped open and actual like, fresh ingredients on the chopping board, “what are you doing?”

“Is that a rhetorical question because-”

“Robs, I have literally never seen you cook anything more complicated than eggs and toaster waffles, what is this,” Steve goes over to be nosy, “chicken satay skewers and bang bang cauliflower- what the actual fuck. I didn’t even know you knew what recipe books were.”

“Fuck off. And it’s for Chrissy, she said it’s her favorite-”

“Oh my god. I’m dead. I’m dead aren’t I. I got into a crash on the way-”

“Steve.”

“Alternate dimension-”

“Jesus Christ-”

“Abducted by aliens?”

“Steve, I can cook a nice meal for my girlfriend, alright, it’s not, like, illegal-”

“Your what?!”

She stops and actually turns to look at him, she’s wearing her absolute dead serious face, “Steve. I like her. A lot.”

“So now you’re what, fucking pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen-”

“Steve! Look. She’s clever. She’s funny. She’s kind. She calls me out on my bullshit and she is extremely hot doing it. She plays volleyball Steve. Volleyball. Have you ever seen girls play volleyball? Not only is it insanely aggressive but the shorts are so tiny they’re on the verge of disappearing up her crack and it’s socially acceptable for me to go out and watch that Steve.”

“Yeah but- you don’t have to like, date her to get all of that-”

“I do. I do Steve. Because I want to. We can’t just do,” she gestures vaguely, “this for our entire lives.”

“But whyyyyy?” Steve whines.

“Because we have to grow up at some point.”

“Yeah but...now?” Steve knows he’s pouting.

“Good a time as any, anyway, aren’t you literally about to go to dinner at Eddie’s uncles place? Literally the only notable family member that he has? His only parental figure and therefore the most important person in his life-”

“You can stop now.”

“I’m just saying that sounds kind of serious-”

“I will throw myself off the roof to get out of this dinner. Don’t test me.”

Robin completely ignores him, “I’ve seen how Eddie looks at you,” Steve scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Steve, that boy looks at you like he’d crawl a mile over broken glass to sniff your farts. Could you just like, appreciate that about him for thirty god damn seconds.”

Steve has a range of acceptable beer. He has picked up a six pack of something from uncomfortably near the bottom of that range. He takes a deep breath as he grabs it off the passenger seat.

Steve’s pretty sure he’s never been inside a trailer once in his damned life, and he has absolutely no idea what to expect. From the outside it looks...cramped. Steve’s certain his entire bedroom is bigger than this whole place.

Steve prepares himself to be polite about whatever he’s about to walk into.

Eddie fucking lights up when he opens the door, it makes Steve skin itchy while simultaneously something flaps about in his stomach, “oh wow, you bought the good beer!” Eddie looks thrilled as he takes it to put in the fridge.

Which he makes it to in about four steps because the kitchen is like, right there. And Steve’s taken one step in through the door and he’s already in the middle of the lounge, which is, efficient, he guesses.

“Here, come sit at the table, Wayne’s about done with dinner.”

“Errr...thanks.” Eddie indicates a place at a cramped little built in breakfast nook type thing, and Steve slides in just as Wayne appears from down the hall.

It was fucking awkward getting in, it’s even more awkward getting straight back out again so he can shake Wayne’s hand, “good to see you again Sir.”

Steve gets a firm handshake, and then not two minutes later he’s eating the first bite of what might be the best thing he’s ever put in his mouth. Wayne Muson makes a pot roast that should win a Michelin Star. Who could have fucking predicted that.

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko chapter 166 thoughts - the end of all things

So uh... the only positive thing I can say here besides the beautiful Ai art is that I felt sad reading the page where Miyako was hugging Ruby. Everything else left me completely empty

This chapter is either:

A) A self-aware ending meant to show that life is suffering and the idol industry will suck out your soul if you let it

B) Outsourced to someone who skimmed OnK for 30 seconds on Wikipedia before putting pen to paper

It has to be A, right? You can't tell me that the same author wrote both of these pages without the right being ironic

But I don't think so because big brained Akane is the one clumsily narrating this crappy montage masquerading as a real ending

Aqua died for nothing. His sister is now a soulless cog in the idol machine

Ruby is mimicking Ai's speech - "Lies are an outstanding kind of love... We pile on the lies and no matter how hard things get, we sing and act happy onstage. It's a fun job!" But she forgot the rest of it: "Only, I'd like the 'being happy' part to be real. Nobody notices, but we have hearts and lives of our own. Happiness as a mother. Happiness as an idol. Normally you'd have to pick one, but I want both. Ai Hoshino is a greedy girl"

Ai wasn't only a misunderstood girl who worked hard to please her fans. That was a big part of her story but she also broke the rules to create her own family, her own happiness

Ruby, on the other hand, seems to have no real desires anymore, she's just following a path she believes her mother and Aqua paved for her. Never mind that Aqua only wanted it in the end because she wanted it and Ai just wanted her kids to be happy

You can tell that Akasaka is patting himself on the back for making a cyclical narrative where Ruby becomes Ai 2.0 by being commodified, scrutinized, and idolized like Ai was

But it's such a flimsy parallel when it comes to the theme of lies because lying to hide your grief =/= "lies are love" which was the only way Ai knew how to frame her genuine desire to love

And Ai's "I love you" to her kids was true whereas Ruby has swallowed her own lie that being an idol is fun even when you're just doing it to outrun your pain

What this chapter showed us is that the meaning of Ruby's life is to be Ruby of B Komachi and she was put on Earth to sing pop songs. Because that's what Ai did, right? If I remember correctly, her final words were "I'm so glad I got to be an idol #blessed"

My God was the Dome concert soulless. Miyako and Ichigo crying happy tears is a punch to the gut. Doesn't Miyako know her daughter is still hurting?

The last scene is so fucking depressing

Ruby, are you okay? Blink twice if you still remember your life outside the idol industry!

The last two pages work really well as horror. She has a brilliant smile but you can tell that she's dead inside. She's got more merch on her table than photos. Why doesn't she have a corkboard of family photos? Although I more or less have this Ai plushie and it's pretty cute so I'll give this a pass because it's hilarious

I guess the takeaway here is to live for others and life is painful so just grin and bear it. Oh yeah, and inspire other young women to join an industry where they get to act happy and lose their humanity. Cool

I mean I get that it's supposed to be about moving on with your life even while grieving and that's a good message, sure, but Aka's insistence on using the word "lies" multiple times as if saying it makes it make sense ruins the whole thing

The most insane part is that this chapter is a wholehearted endorsement of the lies sold by the entertainment/idol industry

I haven't even said anything about anyone besides Ruby because what's the point? Aka didn't have time to do justice to any of the characters I grew to love

It's clear something went wrong with the timeline of wrapping up OnK. No artist wants to execute a final chapter like this. I'm convinced the film reel edges are Aka and Mengo's way of telling the reader, "we know this is a shitty clips show so don't @ us on Twitter about it"

But it's so much worse than that. Aka really decided to tear to shreds everything he worked so hard on for 4 years. Damn

This is my favorite manga and I'll always love that it gave me Ai, my most beloved character of all time, but this leaves an extremely bitter aftertaste. It's really hard to believe that the same person who wrote vol 1 wrote this.

OnK has been pretty important to me. Reading weekly, chatting with fans, and reaching dangerous levels of Ai brain rot has actually been a helpful distraction. TBH I've been a little too invested in it but sometimes you need escapism. So it's crazy that I'm kind of glad it's over.

But this is why fanfic, fanart, and your own headcanons exist. In another universe, this manga wrapped up beautifully and I was depressed for weeks because I couldn't look forward to it anymore. In this universe, at least we're all suffering together here at the end of all things.

And at least the little Hoshino family is still adorable. Too bad Ai is dead, Aqua is dead, and Ruby desperately needs grief counseling. But NEVER MIND. Look at Ai's smile and the twins' faces. This was the Oshi no Ko I really loved.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Sloppy Arackniss Redesign (?)

Before I get into this, clarifying, I SAY SLURS IN THIS!!! I CAN RECLAIM SAID SLURS!!! That is all thank you. I kiss boys and love men. Carry on.

Arackniss’s design is bound to change drastically sometime eventually but atm this is just what im doing. My main problem is how he just looks exactly like angel but black. I know thats originally what the whole thing is and they’re opposites but it’s just kinda boring now. Angel is an entirely different character at this point now and Arackniss’s design should accommodate the changes while still being a bit similar looking. I want him to still look very similar to Angel in specific ways like that stupidass headshape but not because of a sibling thing. Honestly when the two were alive they hardly looked anything alike I’m 100% sure of that. Antonio (Arackniss) had black hair and much broader features and was relatively tall and kind of bulky while Anthony & Molly had light blonde hair and more subtle and soft round features and basically one of the only ways to tell them apart aside from personality was Anthony having polycoria and having bloodshot eyes pretty often.

Arackniss hardly looks how he did when he was alive anymore and has taken on many more features of Angel because of his deep rooted rivalry with his brother. I assume hating your middle-child brother that literally got named after you only to have him overdose and kill himself before actually doing anything with his life is enough to stir up more than a little bit of inner turmoil. These guys probably beat each other up OFTEN. Antonio was the first born son and dealt with so much shit before these other guys even were born and when they did show up, Anthony was named after him because their parents honestly just got lazy, and even though Molly didn’t have the name Molly yet, she was still treated like a golden child even though she contributed next to nothing to the family business which yeah that helped her in the long run but to Antonio that’s his number one priority in life. Appeasing his family is what keeps his brain running. And with that, seeing this random kid show up, get named after you, and be treated so much more leniently than you were AND he’s practically your problem because youre 15 hes like fucking 3 years old and your parents are busy all of the goddamn time AND when you DIE you take on the traits of this stupid fucking kid. He has a horrid case of eldest child syndrome and probably some insane identity issues.

This isn’t to say his hatred is only directed at Anthony either, he definitely has his issues with Molly as well, but she kept more to herself and even if she followed Anthony nonstop she was copying what Anthony was doing instead of what he was doing. Copying is the highest form of flattery but flattery gets annoying when everyone cares about the younger “better behaved” version of you. This is one of the biggest reasons Arackniss berates Angel now and in the past. Even though they havent spoken in years, Arackniss still holds Angel to the status of “faggot” because that was practically the only thing he was “worse” than him at. It was the biggest dirt he had on Angel possible to the point that became a genuine used name for him as Anthony “the fag” Benetti. Finding out your angel of a brother is gay during a time where it’s heavily frowned upon, especially by your own family is like a gold mine.

Arackniss is NOT a good person if you couldn’t somehow tell already. He’s homophobic, has a masculinity and classism problem, has little to no regard for other’s well being, and a bunch of other shit. For as distressed as he was over Anthony’s death, a lot of it was because it left their family even more dysfunctional. To him it was Anthony abandoning everyone because they weren’t worth enough to keep him going and then in return he continues to be praised and talked about so wonderfully as if he never did anything wrong “just because he’s dead”.

Thats just BEFORE Arackniss died too! AFTER dying shit got even worse to the extent he ended up even getting disowned! How fun!! This part delves more into Husk and his backstory as well which I think I may save for another time, but these guys know each other and have a lot of beef and also simultaneously are kind of chill in an odd way? By the way, Angel also has the big neck puff, he just shaves it because he doesn’t like the look and like association from trauma

[campbenji]

*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts

OH BOY here we go

-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful

-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here

-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed

-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok

-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor

-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big

-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool

-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her

-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long

-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.

-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss

-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore

-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)

-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me

-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.

-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth

-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma

-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose

-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning

-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off

-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this

anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me

[localfanbaselurker]

I’m watching Voltron: Legendary Defender for the first time and here is what I have had to say per each season (this is 1-2) (3-4) (5-6) (7) (8)

Pre-Watch Knowledge

->big transformers type robot

->pretty alien girl that looks like princess yue from A:tLA

->they are the epitome of color-coded characters

->space??

->there was crazy people in the fanbase that sent cupcakes laced with something to the creators

->queer baiting (this one in particular got me)

->klance.

->^honestly I only knew that because people were comparing it to zukka and I wanted to check it out

->my friend really likes it

Post S1 thoughts-

->that cliffhanger was crazy imagine they weren’t renewed for a s2

-> i went on tumblr after and youre telling me they made that show IN TWO YEARS?? EIGHT SEASONS. IN TWO MF YEARS?? that is insane. props to the writers bro they fr must of known what they were doing.

->all of these characters already scream “doomed by the narrative”

->my fav characters are pidge and lance

->I definitely did NOT expect yue Allura to be British

->bonding moment.

->^like yeah okay i get it now

-> the healing pods are a very interesting concept. Like, what if you get some ailment that it doesn’t recognize?? Do you just die??

-> genuinely felt so bad for Not Yue. Allura. Allura when they had to remove her father’s memory thing. Like yeah I know the castle was corrupted or wtv but bro imagine. Your entire race is dead. your mom, who you previously knew alive is now most likely dead. You already had to go through losing your father once, and now you have to lose him again. Any sliver of hope you had of staying connected with him is gone, because the entirety of his essence is now gone. She’s stronger than me, I would have never given him up so easily. I admire that about her.

->I also made the horrible mistake of going on ao3 after

yk for gits and shiggles… and when I go to a new fandom I always search by hits to see the classics first yk

…

WHY are you guys so 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂… I genuinely shed a tear what. I was flabbergasted to say the least.

On that note the top 23 were about redguy/blueguy getting smoochy-smoochy with each other so I guess that should be a hint as to what you guys like

->the description of the show says the robot (voltron) is operated by “five teenagers” but that shiro guy has to be AT LEAST 25. He is pushing 30 you can’t convince me otherwise.

->for now it’s kinda giving atla except the war is intergalactic and lasted 10,000 years instead of 100.

->all the other characters seem to have a pretty clear background, but we haven’t yet heard about Keith’s backstory, so I want to know (I know now, this was my initial thought)

->shiros backstory/ptsd is very interesting, lots of angst possibilities i see

-> I had an inkling that pidge was…genderly different. (At first I thought she was transmasc)

Post S2

-> WHERE is my man. Where did he go.

-> Pookie please come back. Now. It’s not a suggestion.

->KEITH BACKSTORY I PREDICTED THEY WERE GONNA SHOW US YAY I LOVE BEING RIGHT

-> he’s galra! Soooo much whump opportunity

-> the whole “Allura doesn’t hate you she’s just a little upset to find out ur part of the race that killed off her entire peoples and family and okay maybe she does hate you” scene with keith and hunk is really giving that scene in atla: the southern raiders where zuko thinks katara hates him and sokka reassures him (badly) while he was just trying to get laid w suki.

->^ that’s gay

-> the aliens they met are going to be very important, aren’t they?

->^ oohhh so this is where the “langst” stuff comes from? he’s just kinda insecure i think, but it can’t possibly just be this episode that has that tag so high, unless flanderization is just really popular with you guys, but already suspect that unfortunately

->^Allura high key ate with this

->the “Blade of Marmora” people are definitely gonna be important later

-> the mall episode was soooo fun! fav s2 episode for sure!

->^gay. It’s literally giving “two bros chillin in a hot tub. five feet apart cus they’re not gay”

-> I know of 2 ships now. klance and allurance. I only see the former though, the latter seems more like a running gag/unrequited crush thing (for now i suppose)

-> Coran is an icon. I love that whimsical man. he’s beekeeping age per say.

-> I need pidge to find her brother and father man I feel so bad for her PLEASE DOBT TELL ME THEYRE DEAD ILL LITERALLY DIE.

-> pidge is sooooo cool i love her so much she’s literally the pookiest of the pookies

-> Who tf is gonna be the black paladin now. Keith sure as hell isn’t ready for that. maybe Allura?? Cus yk she kinda already leads them a little bit

These are thoughts I had compiled over a while now. I am on S5E3 as of now (07/03/24) but I wanted to document my thoughts either way. I will post on the tag “laura’s first vld”

[thebestusernamepossible]

Thoughts combining two of three of my biggest interests rn

Isat x Gravity falls (note I’m role swapping, but if the roles had romance between them please note that it’s platonic now. Like the people in the Isa and Sif roles aren’t being shipped. Likewise, if I put someone in the gravity falls roles and they are being shipped I don’t ship those GF characters necessarily.)

Anyway, GF characters in isat roles

Siffrin -> Mabel. Her whole thing is that she doesn’t want to lose the people she loves and she tries to hold onto them, accidentally causing the apocalypse. Sounds VERY similar to Sif’s whole deal tbh. Mabel is also someone who acts as the ‘funny jokes person’ in her group, similarly to Siffrin, and controversy i’d say it’s a bit of a protective layer for both of them. Also the way Siffrin’s loops works and how he almost seems to crave them near the end and how Mabel was in the bubble can be parallels. Do you see the vision???

Odile-> Dipper. OK HEAR ME OUT!!! I know you’re going ‘no Ford would be Odile!!!’ WRONG! First of all, no Dipper is scrappy in a way Odile is and Ford isn’t (Ford is badass and kinda unhinged but he’s not ‘scrappy’ even when going insane). Also Dipper is generally more pessimistic and less gullible than Ford. Dipper and Odile are both people with a thirst for knowledge who don’t like not knowing things. Both these characters have a clear ambition, but are similarly grounded in how much they CARE. Also Ford could never pull off the sus quest, but I think Dipper could 100%. Also also Dipper and Odile are doing the same type of shenanigans to me (-awkward teen boy things).

Isabeau-> Stan. Hmmmmmmmmm…. Changing everything about yourself until the old you is dead because you hate yourself? Being too much of a coward to communicate with the people you love despite them meaning everything to you? Refusing to acknowledge how smart you are and acting dumb (well ok this one is a stretch because Stan actually thinks he’s stupid, but he TAUGHT HIMSLEF TO REBUILD THE PORTAL???? FORD needed BILLS help for that! Ofc Stan had some of Fords notes, but like…. He taught himslef complex physics to PUNCH A HOLE IN REALITY. I think it applies.)? Yeah Isa and Stan are weirdly good parallels.

Mirabelle-> Ford. I’m mostly relating him to Mira becaus Sif the way he felt like he was solely responsible for killing Bill weighed on him. This isn’t the most 1-1, but Mira is someone who is different from her peers. She follows a belief of change while being the most aroace autistic invidual ever who wants to stay the same execpt she gets to be a scholar and learn everything. OK FORD. Also I think if the Change God pulled a Bill Cipher on her she would also become a Sci-Fi hero and go try to fucking kill it, Ty <3

Bonnie-> Pacifica? Sorry the pines family is four members and none of them except maybe Mabel fit into the Bonnie slot, and Maybel is better as Sif to me. They could theoretically be Soos or Wendy who sometimes get added but none of them give Bonnue vibes and also if you have one you need the other.

Loop-> I so BADLY want to say Dippy Fresh…. so I will. Loop is Dippy fresh, fuck you. (Created from a wish of an alternate Mabel wishing that somewhere she had company while going isane? For a Dipper that understood the Loops? Idk.) OR MAYBE!!!! Anti-Mabel????? Alternatively she’s ‘Shooting Star’ (Mabel in a loop situation)

King-> Bill. Do I need to explain this? Pathetic horrible guys who have sympathetic backstories but are sopping wet assholes

Change-> axolotl

Euphie- J the Unswerving (Oracle)

[saturnneedsspace]

My whole world was flipped upside down the other day when I found out there was a lot of Sam haters in the spn fandom. I simply do not understand.

Yeah, sure, Sam did some messed up things. But so did every other character in the show.

He got addicted to demon blood because of Ruby and this alien feeling that was cast upon him because of John. His own father thought he was a monster, so you gotta know that's gonna do something to your self esteem and cause you to go out of your way to be accepted.

He traps himself in Hell with Lucifer to save his brother and the rest of the world, knowing how much trauma that will cause him. And when he got out, he didn't have a soul, which all the fault lies with Cas on that one. And when he got his soul back, he wasn't the same. The sheer trauma he had from being roomies with Lucifer was more than enough to drive any normal person insane, and he still endured silently for a long time, before he went so crazy he was forced to be put in a mental hospital. He physically could not sleep because Lucifer was taunting him so much. And the only way he ever got better was because Cas took all that trauma into himself.

Yeah, maybe Sam didn't look for Dean when he was in Purgatory, and instead spent his time with a woman instead, but he had no clue where Dean was. The last time he saw his brother, he stabbed Dick, and then him and Cas disappeared into thin air. There was no clues whatsoever to where he was. And all Dean ever wanted was for Sam to have a normal life, so after he presumes Dean dead, he does what he thinks his brother would have wanted for him.

He's angry at Dean for Gadreel, and rightfully so. His brother took away his choice in the matter by tricking him into saying yes. He was ready to die. He told Death to make sure he can't be resurrected. He wanted to die. And yes, obviously as a brother, you don't want your younger siblings to die. That's a given. But he took away Sam's choice in that and forced him to be possessed, which is where most of his trauma comes from. He was possessed by several, terrible people at one point, and it was literal torture for him. He watched helplessly as his own hands murdered and hurt many people, some of them being his own friends and family. And then it just gets worse when Gadreel forces him to kill Kevin later on.

Sam searches the ends of the Earth for Demon!Dean and even when he's told several times to stop going after him, he doesn't listen. He knows he was mistaken when he didn't look for Dean in Purgatory, so he fights to make up for it by searching for him now. Dean tries to kill him, tells him to go away, leave him be, and Sam doesn't. He does everything he can to cure him. And he does with the help of Cas. He never gave up, even long after Dean already did.

And Sam releasing Amara wasn't all his fault. Charlie, Cas, and (reluctanlty) Rowena agreed to help, too. They're all just as guilty as him. And as much as I hate saying that about Charlie, considering it got her killed, it's true. They all helped remove the mark. They all released Amara. It wasn't their intention, but they all wanted to save Dean from himself and from hurting others. They all knew how much it hurt him to not have control over his anger. They were all just trying to help and were prepared to face the consequences of that, no matter what they were, because it was for Dean and they all loved him. (This is excluding Rowena at this point obvi)

Sam is the only one who cares for Jack after he's born. Yes, Cas would've defended that kid with his life if he were still alive, but he wasn't. Only Sam and Dean were. And the first thing Dean does when he sees Jack is shoots him. Sam talks to him. Sam understands him. Sam was him. He relates to the kid in a way no one else probably could, and so he fights his brother about it. He fights to protect the misunderstood kid who's defined by the blood that runs through his veins, though he desperately tries to prove it's not who he is. People only say Dean and Cas were Jack's fathers. But Sam was Jack's first father, the first person to see him for who he truly was.

And then he shot God, getting himself injured in the process and ultimately helping them take Him down. He was a vital character through the series and sacrificed so much. He didn't deserve all that happened to him, and frankly, it makes me mad when people hate on him.

[iamthejam]

i need to rant about sam right quick.... more specifically the whole demon blood era cause OH MY GOSH.

 sam thought he was doing the right thing yet everything warned him against it: dean, bobby, catiel, angels, HIMSELF, yet his mindset was if he kept a level head he could keep going, but how can you tell if youre going insane?? youre not gonna be like "hey myself, yeah this is totally wrong." sam knew he was helping people. HOW could you stop helping people, doing your job??? he had so much trust in ruby, which saddens me HOW much trust. dean was dead. he wasnt coming back. how is sam supposed to cope with that normally?? the only person he loved more than anything, the person he'd been through everything with, the person that was the thing only grounding him in the insane life they live in. with that gone how are you supposed to go on? well after doing quite literally everything he thought of trying to get dean back, he had no hope. but he needed something to take the place of dean, which ruby had taken the chance in sams weakened state and slipped in. now tell me how sam wasnt going to trust her?? he was blinded, to everything. he did the one thing he knew to do: save people. when someone tells you can save more people, wouldnt you take the opportunity?? sam did.

like i said earlier, he was blinded, so he really couldnt see he was slowly turning himself into something he promised himself he wouldnt, all he saw was the people he saved. when dean finally came back he didnt stop, i mean why would he? he kept going, and going and going, at this point he had almost completely lost himself. it didnt matter that he had dean, he had already come to reality that dean was gone.

now DONT GET ME STARTED ON DEAN FINDING OUT. how could dean not freak? now its deans turn to come to reality: his little brother is addicted to demon blood. what? his sammy?? no, no his sammy wouldnt do that... right? i mean he would see that ruby is no good. right? he would see past the people he was saving and know he was turning himself into a freak. right!?! no. it wasnt his sam. now what is dean supposed to do? it obviously wasnt his brother, his brother wouldnt do that.

so he and bobby did what they thought was the best attempt to help him: cage him. like a violent animal, which was what sam was slowly becoming. 

now if you think that was hard for dean to do, think about sam. sam was being thrown into a panic room because his family thought he was a freak. he was helping people why couldnt they see that? and why couldnt sam see he was losing himself? everybody thought they knew what was best. they thought was right. 

i just cant see. how are you supposed to cage your brother without even talking? how are you supposed to think drinking demon blood was for the greater? i cant see a right here.

when sam was in the bunker room the demon blood threw the last punches it could. it made sam hallucinate, it made him think mary was on his side, that dean and bobby were only scared of his power, it made his younger self talk him down, it made dean say nasty things. it threw him around the room like a rag doll. it made him believe allister was torturing him in the worst ways possible. all this happened as he screamed and screamed; no one came. the people he loved left him to die it felt like.

so when he got free why wouldnt he run as far as he could? as far away from bobby and dean as he could get, mentally and physically.

[beearcheops]

Drv3 family trees (or my best attempt)(minus the Monokubs because I’m not doing that to myself)

Yeahhhh, guess who got bored

I mainly just used find on page to find out so this may be not 100% accurate (but if you think I’m gonna read all ftes,date tickets,utdp and drs events, you’re wrong)

anyways, here’s the key

Circle means Female, Square means Male and a question mark means idk if they are related or not (or something idk I just explain when it comes up)

all family trees are under cut cuz it’s long

First things first, Shuichi’s tree was probably the easiest to make for me since all the info was in his ftes. The only thing that I struggled with was shuichi saying “my uncle and his wife” which is a very weird way to say it (like bud, you could’ve said aunt in law and at least have some people understand it. Maybe idk family trees make my head hurt) but oh well

Then there’s Kaede! Her family tree is relatively simple but I also need to mention that if the character in question never mentions their family, I’m just going to assume that they have just 2 parents (in which I’m coining as the “normalcy law of assuming” I guess, I couldn’t think of a better name)

speaking of which…

Tsumugi (I’m pretty sure) never mention any family members, no matter how much I search (and before you mention her love hotel event, I didn’t read any of the cast’s love hotel events for both my sanity and happiness) so I just assuming that she has 2 parents

Remember when I said that I would explain the question mark?

well, here, it means that the mom may be not the same for all of children (at least in this scenario) (I mean rantaro did said most of his sisters are stepsisters, also yeah, the circle with 12 on represent his 12 sisters because I’m not putting all 12 of them in the image)

Next one up,Tenko! Surprisingly, the normalcy law of assuming doesn’t apply to tenko, why?, because she mentions her parents in one of her ftes! (I don’t remember which one but I do know that she mentioned them) so yeah, just a small simple family tree

Now for Himiko, unlike Tenko, Himiko never mentions her family (unless her master is her dad in which I- what.) while the Danganronpa wiki states that she has a mom, I (personally) couldn’t find any evidence of that at all so I’m not sure where in the world they found that information (I’m serious, where in the fuck she says this?!?!?!!?! Because its certainly not in her ftes,date tickets,utdp events or drs events, so where is it?!?!??!) (I’m going insane) so yeah

UPDATE: thanks to @reblogablename, I now know where Himiko mentions her mom, it’s in the first mass panic debate

Uhh so according to my notes, Miu has parents but I don’t know where I found that information (like did I find it in her wiki page or ftes, or somewhere else completely? I’m not completely sure where but I’m gonna trust my notes here)

To call Keebo’s family tree interesting could be a understatement, this is a line. Other than that, there’s not much to say about it, it’s just keeb and his professor/dad (also I want to mention that I’m pretty sure that Professor Idabashi is the only named family member in v3 which is odd but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Due to Kokichi being Kokichi, I don’t know if he has parents or not so I’m pulling the normalcy law of assuming card here

meanwhile the little question mark represents his older brother mentioned in his ftes, and since Kokichi lies, he might have a brother or not

While Maki has not met her parents (if I remember correctly in the ftes), she must come from somewhere (also please ignore the weird writing in this section/ryoma’s section, I dead ass forgot about the both of them sorry)

Ryoma does have parents, well dead parents but still parents

(I’m going insane)

Korekiyo’s family tree, like Shuichi’s, was relatively easy to make, not much to mention here I think (other than the whole incest thing but I don’t want to think about it)

Kaito,Kaito, Kaito, why were you the hardest person to write about (no seriously, why was it so hard?!??!) anyways, not much to say than kaito never talks about his parents so idk what happened to them

We’re in the final stretch! Kirumi never mentions her family sooo to the normalcy law of assuming corner for you!

Now for Gonta, while he does mention his family, he doesn’t specific any family members so another one in the normalcy law of assuming list

And FINALLY, angie has the same thing as gonta where she mention her family, she doesn’t specified what family members she has so yet again, the normalcy law of assuming shows up

aaaaand thats everyone in drv3 (minus the Monokubs because of no) family trees, but feel free to correct me if anything is wrong cuz I know for a fact that I missed at least one thing (*cough**cough* Himiko *cough**cough* ) anyways enjoy :3

[spiritmander13]

So I was scrolling through the Warrior Cats tag and apparently you're all joking about how inbred Moonpaw is and even using the r-slur against her?

...

Y'know what's bad? I don't even think her potential ADHD and autism comes from being inbred. That's just a sick joke you all keep saying, and if the Erins decide that's why she has ADHD and autism I WILL RIOT.

So y'know what? Welcome to-

My Rant On Cabby's Disability 2; Electric Boogaloo + Completely Different Fandom And Character, wahoo.

WARNING BEFORE WE BEGIN! I do not support ableism. Mental issues do exist, things like autism do not come from vaccines, people can have both mental and physical disabilities, and FINALLY and MOST IMPORTANTLY people with disabilities are people just like you, not anything lower, not anything higher.

Also, just to add a bit of an edit- we don't actually know if Moonpaw has these things yet, but when I wrote the post I assumed she did, so berate me on the misinfo all you like.

That being said:

SEEING YOU ALL USE THE R-SLUR AGAINST MOONPAW AND THINKING CALLING HER THE PRODUCT OF INBREEDING IS FUNNY? GO GET A LIFE.

Context for some of my followers who are not into Warrior Cats: Moonpaw is a new character introduced in a blurb relating to a new Warrior Cats arc, called Changing Skies. There have been many speculations on what she'll look and act like, but recently controversy has spread and now people are joking about her inbred family tree and even using the r-slur in extreme cases.

And for you all in the Warrior Cats tag looking at this post and wondering why the title of this post is that, it's because I have defended my stance against a character with both physical and mental disabilities before; Cabby (II). Not exactly defend her, but defended my stance on when I said that I don't understand the reason behind her files (that being there wasn't too much content of her struggling with her memory for me to appreciate it, which WE ARE GETTING MORE CONTENT OF IN THE FUTURE, AMAZING).

Of course, this is Warrior Cats, not Inanimate Insanity. So I fully expect that if Moonpaw has autism and/or ADHD, she'll be forced into medicine cat duties just like Cinderpelt and Jayfeather were. It'll also probably be just a quirky, relatable thing that could potentially define her personality. II does have a bit of a problem with this, but I will not bring up examples because most of the people reading this will potentially be Warrior Cats fans who have zero idea on what Inanimate Insanity is.

Now I am aware that ADHD and autism are hereditary things. There's the most common hereditary neurodevelopmental disabilities a child can have. But if Moonpaw has ADHD and autism, then DON'T BLAME IT ON INBREEDING. BLAME IT ON SOMEONE IN THE FAMILY TREE.

Okay, that's not a good approach either, but hear me out. We all should stop joking on inbreeding in the series. Yes, the Erins have lost track on these cats time and time again and that has led to a lot of inbreeding. But maybe it's because there's over 1,000 NAMED CATS IN THE WHOLE SERIES? And even more off-screen potentially? Did you ever think about that? 20 cats I can get, 100 is a bit ambitious, but OVER 1,000? Yeah, impossible to track without the tree's branches getting all tangled up.

Yes, Moonpaw's potential father (if her father is Nightheart) has a fucked up family tree full of inbreeding. However, I'd say the line Nightheart comes from (the BrambleSquirrel line) is very sleek, narrow, and not really that conflicting. Brambleclaw and Squirrelstar had Sparkpelt and Alderheart (as well as Dandelionkit and Juniperkit but they're dead), Sparkpelt and Larksong had Nightheart and Finchlight, Nightheart and Sunbeam have Moonpaw. I'd say I blame it on Leafpool for the fuckery that is the Firestar family tree.

And Sunbeam? She's a descendant of fucking Snowbird, the cat that has had the most kits in the series at 9, including Berryheart. Sure, Larksong is a descendant of Cloudtail and that is also a fucked up family tree, but Nightheart's part of the tree is fairly narrow.

Even if you blame someone in the family tree for Moonpaw's potential disabilities, you really shouldn't. Sure, my ADHD is hereditary, but for ASD, autism-causing mutations are spontaneous. Even if your parents don't have autism, you can still have a genetic mutation that can give you or your descendants ASD.

So what's the moral of the story about this fucked up post about how the family tree is something you shouldn't blame for Moonpaw's potential disability? Simple.

Never call anything or anyone with a potential disability the r-slur and blame it on their family tree, no matter how fictional or real they are. Or simply, Never use the r-slur, especially against someone with a potential disability that could've caused their actions.

Now I except this post to be countered way more often than the Cabby post because Warriors Cats is bigger than Inanimate Insanity and this is a relatively new topic still, but I patiently await your responses and counters.

[bbycosmo]

Warning: this is a tangent from a delusion being currently frothing at the mouth for Oathbound so everything said after this statement must be taken with the finest grain of salt because clearly delusion does not = reality but I’m too far gone to understand that lol

Okay, I don’t have any sort of evidence towards this besides an incredibly inaccurate gut feeling and my brain trying to connect dots towards.

So we know that Selwyn is a Gemini

BreeBree is a Scorpio

And Nick’s birthday hasn’t been revealed yet.

Okay, so something kinda tells me what Nick can potentially be a water or earth sign, ( I’m not knowledgeable about astrology in the slightest, but after looking up the compatibility charts for Scorpio I noticed that Gemini and Scorpio has the lowest compatibility with one another, which would probably describe Sel and Bree’s relationship. And then if you look at the highest compatibility it’s Pieces, Capricorn, Virgo, Cancer)

And because Oathbound is coming out in March something just told me that like what if she sorta planned it that way? So bloodmarked was originally supposed to come out in July which would be right at the time of Gemini season so it would’ve been a Selwyn birthday book release.

But instead it was released in November on Bree’s birthday which… idk it could just be the way publishers work and small bits of pieces not being 100% but it felt intentional? Yeah this is all a whack a doodle thought but I need to release it into the aether so I can get back to my life and stop this insanity of this series taking over every aspect of my day to day thoughts.

So yeah…. in conclusion, I think that’s Oathbound being released in March might be symbolic for the trios birthdays. As a nerd I feel like having little Easter eggs and stuff like that would be really cute for the fandom and then once the series is over we can pull together all the pieces of the puzzle.

I hope I’m wrong because I don’t want to be dragged further down into my rabbit hole of this craziness any longer by the time we have to wait for another 2-3 years for the 4th and final book.

Also… while I’m here. I don’t really buy into the whole Sel as the ShadowKings son. I think perhaps Valec being related to him is more believable because clearly there is some sort of relationship between the two there; also seeing as how he was prayed that he was dead after meeting up with Sel and Bree in the forest after that whole “ I can still taste you” scene.

Although!!! What I will say is, how interesting it would be if Selwyn’s mother was the Shadow Kings daughter!!! Yes I did say I don’t buy into the whole Sel being the shadow king thing but I do think it’s plausible for him to be related to him. For the regents to be so convinced about that her bloodline is so important that they forced her to sire a child. There is clearly so much more about the Kane family that has yet to be revealed. I sit eagerly at the edge of my seat waiting for the pen to drop and all is reveled.

Again no real evidence to support this besides random hunches and feelings..

I do hope we see more Dragon Bree because dragons have been brought up since legend born and I would love to see some kick ass vengeful dragon fight scenes. I also really want to know how Nick feels. ( in general) His side of this love triangle is hanging by a thread because the readers haven’t been able to peak into his head and understand what he has been thinking and feeling for awhile.

While Nick is being discussed I still haven’t forgiven him for not considering Bree’s safety after that whole Gala incident. Why was Sel more aware of the shitty position he put Briana in !? Even Briana was so overcome with the “ we did it Joe” celebration that she was too busy getting tongued down that I don’t even think she even processes that fact. That part enrages me even now when I think about that man. Because I see so many people shit on Selwyn for being a loose cannon ( which he is!!) but for a loose cannon to be the person making statements like

“ if that is your wish” after she tells him she’s come to say goodbye

Or the whole ‘no other Merlin monologue’ where he doesn’t even confess his feelings to her ( In fact he hasn’t even explicitly said what he wants or whether or not he is in love with her. As a reader we know based on his actions there is something there but who knows if that tree loving cambion will allow himself those feelings) he simply just wants her to be happy and alive so that the world doesn’t break and go dark.

And of course let’s not forget how he seems to see Bree for who she is. And that is someone completely insufferable , stubborn, annoying, while also being remarkable, stunning and beautiful.

Okay I know I am clearly biased but, it’s just hard to see Nick the same way since that scene, and I really want a redemption story for him in Oathbound

Update: just another thought

Since Sel is one of the few if not one of the only Merlin’s who can transform in to a bird. What if instead of the Shadow King he’s more directly related to Merlin than what the Regents have brainwashed him to believe all his life.

Related how? I’m not sure but after sleeping on it I think this makes more sense because how can we as readers completely ignore the fact that during one of Bree’s bloodwalks where she sees Merlin she finds it funny that even Merlin was known for saying

“ I am aware”

Which we know is such a Sel thing to say!!!

Like?!!!!!

[akaiuchiha]

SPOILERS HONKAI STAR RAIL 2.1 PENACONY MAIN QUEST

Like

The whole quest so yeah, spoilers

I have

So

SO

Many things to say

First, there was so much that I didn't understand like, everything was awesome and the writing amazing but I didn't get a lot out of everything and I think that's normal? The whole thing about "death" is the one thing I have the most difficulties to grasp but I guess it's quite logical with how they talked about it.

But HOW THE HELL ARE THEY ALL INSANE?!

We litteraly can't trust anyone??? Like, of course I knew Firefly wasn't dead, it was quite obvious and Sam wasn't really hiding it very well in my opinion. And I understand Sunday to a certain extent but gosh what the hell?! I was having trust issues with everyone at some point and I was still surprised when Gallagher turned out to be not so kind.

I don't even know how to describe how I feel after that quest.

Between Aventurine that I want to hug so bad, Dr Ratio that I don't understand, Sunday going insane, Sparkle telling us to BLOW UP THE WHOLE GOLDEN HOUR, Black Swan that I find weird, the man on the phone (I'm sure it's Boothill) speaking as if it was NORMAL to kill someone, and Acheron being an Emanator but I have no IDEA of what it means?!

What do you mean he had 17 hours left to live because he lied to you?! So because you want to avenge your sister (that much I understand) YOU DECIDE TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE ELSE?

I don't know if the betrayal was part of Aventurine's plan but it still hurt. And Dr Ratio saying he looks pale NO SHIT?

HE'S GOT 17 HOURS LEFT AND YOU SUPPOSEDLY BETRAYED HIM? What was he supposed to do, dance and sing?!

And the end??? I thought Gallagher was safe TURNS OUT HE'S NOT? And Sunday? He's dead now?! Is this some kind of dark and creepy symbolism between the end of 2.0 and the end of 2.1 main quests? First the sister then the brother?

I knew when I first played Penacony that the whole thing with dreams was going to be bad. It's typically the kind of story that is dark and scary. And I was right, at this pace everyone will die and I'll still have no idea what the hell is the Family and the Clockwatcher (I don't know if it's the term in English but I thought it was the one I heard with the voice acting, as my game is in French, we call him L'Horloger) but in my eyes the Family looks more like a kind of mafia than a happy organisation creating peaceful and amazing places.

But now, I'm trying to get as much jade as I can because Luocha took a lot and I want Aventurine.

[bluemidnightmelody]

Little do you know - Finnick Odair

Pairing: Finnick x Fem OC

word count: 5,9k

Summary: She is a career tribute in training, but Finnick doesn't want her to participate in this death match. Even though he was the one who trained her, or just because of that, he couldn't bear to lose her like that.

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of forced prostitution

also posted on ao3 and wattpad

The sea is restless and agitated, as if sensing his feelings and showing him his innermost self, like a mirror.

Finnick can't tell how long he's been sitting on the sand, looking out at the roaring sea, but it doesn't matter. For him, time has little meaning, but for someone else, every second will soon be precious.

The reaping will be held in two weeks and the 71st Hunger Games are just around the corner. It has been a full six years since his own name was called out in front of the entire district.

At this time of year he is always tense, it's only understandable, but this time it's different. Something has changed this year.

"Why are you pulling a face like that? You're going to get wrinkles on your forehead if you keep this up," comes Kaya's familiar soft voice from right behind him. Despite his ongoing paranoia since his games, he hasn't noticed her sneaking up on him.

She seems to be in a playing mood, but Finnick can't bring himself to smile. He stands up to face her, and at the sight of his serious expression, she looks at him questioningly.

"We need to talk," he announces tersely.

Kaya crosses her arms in front of her chest, visibly irritated by his cold demeanor. "Yeah, you mentioned that when you asked for this meeting, but you look like someone is dead. That worries me a little," she replies.

Finnick sighs and shakes his head. It's macabre that it doesn't even seem to occur to her that it's her life he's concerned about. He takes a deep breath, catches her gaze with his, and says in a prompting tone, "I want you to lose next week, you hear me?"

Kaya's expression is stunned, a mixture of shock, disbelief and annoyance. She snorts in irritation and counters loudly, "Are you serious? I have been training my whole life for literally nothing but this and you have the nerve to ask me to lose on purpose at the selection tournament? Have you gone completely insane?" She talks herself more and more into a rage until she's almost yelling at him.

Finnick squints his eyes and runs his hands through his bronze blond hair. "I know all this, but you don't understand. I'm just trying to help you," he tries to reassure her, but with little success.

Kaya throws her arms to the side in a dramatic gesture and laughs a little sarcastically. "Help me? You were supposed to help me win, remember? We've done nothing but prepare me to win for the past year. I'm among the best in every discipline and absolutely everyone has high expectations of me. Not only do you want me to let down the teachers and coaches who have invested so much time and effort in me, but you want me to let down my entire family who is hoping and counting on me to bring honor to them and the rest of District 4," she complains in agitation.

Finnick frowns and counters," Have you listened to yourself? I know that many people in 4 glorify the games simply because we get preferential treatment from the Capitol as well by winning the games. But you are smarter than them. We both know that all of this was never your desire. You're just doing it to please your parents, who seem to be so desperate for recognition."

Outwardly, she seems unimpressed, but Finnick can see in her eyes that he's hit the mark.

"Don't talk about things you don't understand," she counters. "I thought you were on my side, I thought you had faith in me. If you think I'm too weak to pull this off, then you're underestimating me."

"You're the one who doesn't understand anything," he replies loudly. "You, the people at the academy, your family, as well as all the rest of District 4 don't know anything about the games."

With a firm grip, he places his hands on her shoulders and looks deep into her eyes. "If you think I'm asking this because I don't think you could win, you're wrong. But look at me. Even if you manage to get out of the arena alive, do you really want to end up like me? You're about to throw your whole life away and I know that for sure because I stopped having one a long time ago. There's so much more for you without the games. Kaya, please."

Her conflicting emotions are clear on her face now. Inside her, a battle is brewing between the part of her that wants to please everyone and not disappoint the expectations placed on her, and the other part that has wanted nothing more than to break free for years.

She can see the desperation in Finnick's beautiful sea green eyes. She has always been able to see that seemingly alone among many blind people, so she knows he is telling the truth.

Kaya lowers her head to escape his intense gaze, because she can never withstand it for long. "I can't just decide something like that. I'll think about it," she whispers, taking a cautious step backward.

His hands release her shoulders and he gives her one last pleading look as she hesitantly turns and leaves, no doubt back to the academy.

At home, he sits motionless again, this time staring at the painting in his living room.

On the big canvas, a gigantic old sailing ship maneuvers through stormy waters. The waves are rearing up high, powerful and threatening. The wind tears at the numerous white sails and he can almost hear the creaking of the masts that have to withstand these forces.

In the distance, an opening gapes in the blanket of dark clouds, and rays of sunlight fall brightly on the troubled water. Like the light of a lighthouse, it seems to pull the ship toward it, in the hopes of escape from the angry sea.

The longer he looks at it, the more it seems like the picture is actually moving. It was a gift from Kaya after he accidentally discovered her talent.

It wasn't that long ago, but it feels like an eternity. All this happened only because, against his beliefs, he decided to take an academy student under his wing, as many other victors from 4 do year after year.

At first, he wanted nothing to do with any of this. He rarely went to the academy unless he was ordered to by his coordination team for more video footage or the like. He never intended to actively participate in preparing children for their almost certain death.

Most of the potential tributes he disliked from the start anyway. Arrogant and smug creatures who glorified killing for the amusement of the Capitol and lost all respect for life. But she was different.

The first time he really noticed her was on a deserted beach, like today. He hadn't expected to run into anyone, but there she was suddenly, kneeling in the sand, her dark blond hair disheveled, her hands full of shells, staring unflinchingly at him with her gray eyes.

It was as if she could freeze time with her gaze, so they eyed each other without a word or even so much as one twitch of a muscle. Her face was completely unreadable, like a stone mask hiding any hint of emotion.

Without a single word or any other reaction, she turned and walked away from him, further along the beach, as if he were invisible.

As a result, he also noticed her the next time he was at the academy. While the others vied for his attention, she kept to herself. She was always quiet and seemed as if her mind was somewhere else.

The more he watched her, the more he wished he could see the world she wandered in. This world where apparently no one exists but her. Perhaps he would be able to find the same peace there that was inherent in her, if only he could enter that place.

She was 17 years old at the time, and had her last year at the academy ahead of her before things would get serious. When she was first told that no one other than Finnick Odair would personally take care of her training until then, she was visibly surprised and confused.

She didn't seem to trust him very much, and his usual charm, with which he had also wrapped the Capitol around his finger, didn't seem to do anything with her. She followed all his instructions and did everything he told her to do without objecting, but no more.

Her persistent reticence and reservedness drove him ever more strongly to want to unravel her. She was like a treasure chest that promised him the most beautiful riches, if only he had the key to unlock it.

And at some point, as time went on, he succeeded in opening it. At first they just happened to run into each other outside of training, then at some point chance encounters turned into planned meet-ups.

It was as if two kindred souls had found each other. Kaya was just as lonely as he was, and being lonely together is better than being lonely alone. He was drawn to her like the ship in the painting to the end of the storm.

At some point he began to pay her occasional visits at her quarters at the academy. Actually, he wasn't even allowed to be there, but he has become better than anyone at getting people to let him have his way with sweet words.

Once he caught her by surprise just overpainting a beautiful picture of the beach with white paint.  His admiration for her talent, hitherto unknown to him, was only overshadowed by his horror at witnessing this act of destruction.

When he asked her about it, she only answered naturally that she can't afford dozens of canvases and therefore paints one picture over the other. She said this without any regret, as if it would not bother her in the least to destroy her artworks, which she had created with so much effort, just like that.

He did mind, and the next time he returned from the Capitol, he would bring her not only canvases of all sizes, but also tools and paints that she had previously mixed herself from crushed shells and other natural products.

At first she strictly refused to accept such an expensive gift, even after his repeated assurances that he really has more money than he could ever need.

As a compromise, he suggested that she then use the things to paint a picture for him. Then it would not be a gift, so to speak, but they would benefit in equal parts.

After a short back and forth, she finally accepted these conditions, and the result has decorated Finnick's house ever since. Since then, a few more paintings have been added, but this one means the most to him. He can't say if it was intentional, but he often feels as if he were also on board of this ship, caught in an eternal raging storm.

____________________

A week has flown by and Finnick finds himself lined up with the rest of the victors and instructors at the academy.

He notices his fingernails digging into his skin because of his clenched fists, but he can't relax. It is the day of decision, today will determine which students will be allowed to volunteer as tributes.

There is always more than one applicant, and all of them are equally eager for the opportunity to gain glory and prestige in the Capitol, for themselves and their district, by winning the Hunger Games. None of them even suspects what they are actually getting themselves into.

A week before the reaping, the students compete against each other for the privilege of enlisting as tributes, first the boys, then the girls. For those who are already 18 years old, like Kaya, this event is compulsory, but the younger ones are allowed to participate, even if the older ones usually have clearly the better chances.

The future male tribute has already been decided, a tall broad-built boy, who overpowered his competitors mainly with his strength.

For the girls, the decision is getting closer. Out of 6 possible candidates, only two are left, and Kaya is one of them.

The girl she faces is taller than her, with raven black hair and emerald green eyes. Finnick recognizes her, mainly because of her standout brutality in training, even to her classmates.

He secretly hopes that if he couldn't convince Kaya with his words, maybe her opponent will make sure she is spared, even if it means making the other girl a victim. Kaya is his protégé and he should not wish for that, but he hopes from the bottom of his heart that she loses.

Unfortunately, it was he himself who trained Kaya for the past year. He did it with the goal of enabling her to stay alive on her own, should the worst case scenario occur with her actually ending up in the arena. He taught her everything he knows, and by now she is good, downright outstanding. She was talented before, too, but through him she has learned to use her abilities to the full.

None of her opponent's wild attacks really succeed, and while Kaya keeps blocking and gracefully dodging them, her opponent loses more and more patience. Kaya skillfully uses a careless moment to disarm her opponent and puts her out of action with a grip from behind.

Finnick freezes to ice as he watches the scene, where the worst possible outcome is about to unfold. Just a moment longer and the fight would be over.

For a split second, her eyes meet his and Finnick, for the first time in a long time, has to suppress the tears that threaten to gather in his eyes.

He can't tell if it is his undoubtedly pitiful sight that make her change her mind at the last second, or if she had made that decision before. Before the fight can be declared over, Kaya lets go of her opponent, who elbows her in the side as she struggles desperately.

It wasn't a blow hard enough to actually force her to let up. Her opponent recovers quickly and it seems like she turned the situation around before Kaya could do anything.

If you look closer, you would see that she isn't even trying at all. She lets the black-haired girl pull her to the ground, where she presses the knife to her neck, which Kaya knocked out of her hand earlier.

The fight is over, the winner cheers along with her male partner as if they hadn't just won a trip straight to hell, and at least one of them without a return ticket.

Kaya remains motionless on her back for a few more seconds before slowly standing up and wiping the imaginary dust off her clothes. Her expression is completely neutral, as it often is, and she shares a long intense look with Finnick before turning and disappearing into the locker rooms.

He feels his petrification loosen and his muscles, which had been almost painfully tense all this time, slowly relax again. He draws in a deep breath and it's as if it's the first one after he almost drowned.

The happy winners and the dejected losers end the day with a celebration at the academy, because after all, it's also the end of the training period for all those who have already turned 18 and will therefore not get another chance to participate in the games. Despite his relief, Finnick doesn't really feel like celebrating; after all, the games are still coming up.

He retreats to the deserted hallways of the building and, after wandering aimlessly for a while, slumps against a wall somewhere. He leans his head back and closes his eyes as he listens to the silence. Soft music and laughter can be heard from the foyer below him.

"You actually have wrinkles on your forehead, that's bound to make headlines at the Capitol."

Finnick startles and finds himself facing Kaya, who is eyeing him with the smallest of grins. Again, he didn't hear her coming.

"Are you surprised? Sneaking up on me like that is starting to become a really annoying habit. One of these days I'm going to die of a heart attack," he replies with a sigh.

Kaya copies his stance leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway and casually crosses her arms in front of her chest. "You sound like an old man."

"I feel like I've aged 20 years today, too. If I'm actually getting wrinkly, I'm sure it's thanks to you," he murmurs.

She drops her gaze to the floor and surveys the pattern on the old tiles. "Is this how you wanted it to be now?" she asks softly.

"You're safe, that's all that matters," he replies with a confident voice.

The look she gives him is hard to interpret, but he recognizes something gentle in it that warms his heart. This has been happening to him more and more lately, and he observes this change in himself with both concern and pleasure, the origin of which is a mystery to him.

"Sandy could still back out, or my name could be pulled," Kaya says in a composed voice. It has always been tradition at the academy that if a student's name is pulled, they are entitled to the spot as tribute, even if someone else has been chosen for it.

"That's not going to happen," Finnick replies with conviction. "And even if Sandy changes her mind, they can't make you volunteer in her place. We'll get through the reaping and then it'll be over once and for all," he explains hopefully.

"We?" asks Kaya urgently.

"Of course," Finnick counters, "We're a team, aren't we? I promised you I would do everything I could to keep you alive, and I meant what I said, even though our ideas about it probably weren't the same originally."

"What will happen when the reaping is over?" asks Kaya tentatively, looking at him with wide expectant eyes.

Finnick sighs and replies, "I was chosen to be a mentor this year. I'm going to have to focus on that for now. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but when I get back, my time will be yours alone, I promise. Then we can talk about everything else."

Kaya chews the inside of her cheek. "So there will still be a we?"

Finnick looks at her for a moment, then breaks away from the wall. He crosses the distance between them in two big steps and pulls her into his arms.

"Always."

It's not the first embrace they've shared, but this time is different. Without a hint of resistance, she nestles against his chest and buries her face in his shoulder. She wraps her arms around his torso and Finnick can feel the warmth of her hands where they rest gently beneath his shoulder blades.

Now, finally, he has managed to spend a small moment with her in this other world she lives in, and he feels an all-encompassing peacefulness like never before. There is no one else but the two of them, and nothing else matters.

One of his hands buries itself in her hair as he pulls her even closer, even though it's barely possible.

"Is it because you mentor that you don't want to see me there?" asks Kaya into his shirt.

Finnick rests his chin on her head and closes his eyes. "I definitely don't want to have to see you in the games at all, the circumstances don't matter in the slightest. I just want you to be here when I get back," he whispers.

Her hands bury themselves in the fabric of his shirt and she whispers a barely audible, "Okay."

____________________

By the time Finnick is finally back in District 4, the games have been over for almost two weeks. His tributes have already been dead a while before that, but the Capitol, not to mention Snow, always finds enough ways to keep him busy.

As usual, he has had to spend more time than he would have liked with a wide variety of people from the Capitol elite. It was a long and tiring stay as always, but this time his restlessness was far stronger than usual. This time there was something to look forward to upon his return.

It is already evening and the sun is sinking into the waves on the horizon. Kaya will have moved out of the academy's living quarters by now, but today it's already too late to go looking for her. It will be the first thing he takes care of in the morning.

His destination for the evening is the bar down by the harbor. The place is usually well frequented by the fishermen who stop in after their work on their way home. Finnick often spends the first few hours there after he returns home, not because he would want to get drunk, but because it's a good place to shed the skin he wears in the Capitol.

He finds an unoccupied table in a corner and settles there. While he appreciates the presence of the good-humored sailors near him, he is not yet in the mood for friendly conversation. He prefers to keep to himself for the time being.

The unexpected sound of glass hitting wood snaps him out of his thoughts, and before him suddenly stands a generously filled glass of golden-brown rum. It's commonly the drink of choice in District 4 and is usually home-brewed in one or the other basement.

"I didn't order anything," he says, confused, but as he looks up at the person now standing beside him, his heart stops for a moment.

"You know why I love sneaking up on you? That puzzled face you always make is just fantastic, in a way almost cute. Sometimes I wish I could paint it so I could hang it in my apartment and enjoy it all day long."

It takes Finnick an uncomfortably long moment to sort out his thoughts sufficiently to form coherent sentences again.  Completely out of nowhere, Kaya stands in front of him and only now does he realize just how much he actually wanted to see her.

"You do realize that you just admitted that you want to look at me all day, right?" he asks with slight amusement.

She gives him a grin and coquettishly replies, "I said I wanted to see the stunned look on your face all day."

"It's the same thing to me," he counters.

This makes Kaya laugh and she sits down across from him at the empty seat at the table. Her amusement gives way to a gentle tone as she asks, "How are you?"

"Better than I was two minutes ago," he replies, playing with his fingers on the rim of the glass she has set out for him. "So, you're working here now? To be honest, that surprises me; after all, so much hustle and bustle and close contact with people isn't really your thing. Especially always having to be extra nice to everyone," he remarks.

Kaya props her head in her arms and explains, "Well, while the others are busy just flirting with people, it takes someone to actually do the work. It's a functioning distribution of tasks." At this, she nods subliminally in the direction of another waitress who is standing by a group of men with a broad smile, playing sheepishly with her hair.

Finnick snorts a laugh. "So you're not flirting with me? That's too bad."

"Don't people do that to you all day long? Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"That depends on who's doing it," he says in a calm tone, watching her chew on her lower lip to suppress a grin.

"This is just supposed to be transitional," she finally says, making a vague gesture around the room. "It's hard to get a useful job in the city or at the port. I've spent the last few years just training. I have pretty much no contacts here anymore and people don't know me. It's like I didn't even exist until now," she sighs, somewhat dejectedly.

"Maybe I can help you with that," Finnick replies, taking a sip of the rum. The taste takes some getting used to, but he is by now.

Kaya gives him a skeptical look and replies firmly, "I don't want to just be accepted by anyone because you talked them into it."

"If I just go and talk in front of some acquaintances about an overly hardworking and capable friend who's looking for work and maybe gush a little bit about your very real talents, it's not persuasion," he laughs.

She mirrors his laughter before sighing and murmuring softly, "I really missed you, Odair."

Before he can say anything back, however, a gruff male voice roars across the room. "Hey, I don't pay you for talking," the bar owner grumbles before disappearing between people again.

Kaya drops her head back and groans, "You'd better rave about me as soon as possible. I really need to get out of here." Hesitantly, she rises from the chair again.

"That's too bad," Finnick remarks, amused, "because I think dresses suit you. I don't remember to have seen you in one before."

She looks down at herself for a moment and then does a graceful turn for him that sends the skirt of her navy blue dress flying. The smile on her face might as well be the most beautiful one he's gotten from her to this day, and his heart jumps a little in his chest.

"When do you get off work?" he asks.

Kaya stretches her neck to catch a glimpse of the clock on the wall and replies, "In about an hour."

"Well, I'll wait," he says before she hurries off to take care of the other guests.

Time passes as if it were only a few minutes, while he doesn't take his eyes off her for a second. He would look at her all day long, too, if he could.

When she finally arrives at his table again with her jacket under her arm, they waste no time and leave the bar.

Out on the street, where it's dark by now, Finnick asks, "Same place as always?"

"Sure," Kaya replies. She looks at him with a grin and pulls her jacket aside to let him catch a glimpse of the full bottle of rum she's hiding underneath. "I brought us a little something."

Finnick snorts and raises his eyebrows. "Aren't you going to get in trouble for this?"

"Nobody will notice. And besides, it's poetic justice. I've caught him more than once helping himself to our tips," Kaya explains dryly.

They climb over the rocks on the coast and finally reach the old lighthouse. Since fishing stopped in the area around the reef, it is no longer used and is therefore abandoned. Finnick long ago declared it his personal favorite hiding place, and Kaya is the only one he has brought here since.

They climb the steps and finally arrive at the upper platform. Along the way, Finnick has pulled a bundle of blankets from one of his hiding spots, which they now spread out on the ocean side of the platform, but far enough away from the railing.

So they sit up there, backs against the wall of the light chamber, their shoulders touching, watching the roaring waves that are hard to separate from the dark sky.

They pass the bottle back and forth a few times before Kaya speaks up. "I saw the games," she says carefully. "I'm sorry."

Of course, he knew they'd have to talk about it sooner or later, but the subject still triggers a deep trepidation in him. What exactly she is sorry for he doesn't know. Maybe that two young people had their lives stolen, or that they were the ones who, in a sense, victimized Sandy so that Kaya could live. Basically, they were the ones who stole from her.

"Me too," he replies, but then recognizes the fearfulness in her eyes. "But not because of you," he adds, holding her gaze.

She seems to understand what he is trying to tell her, that if someone has to become a victim, he doesn't regret saving her from it.

Kaya lowers her eyes and after a while she asks, "The one who won, the girl from 7, did you ever meet her, after the games."

"I did."

"What's she like?"

"Angry," he replies with raised eyebrows.

"What a surprise," Kaya says sarcastically.

"Not just normal angry," Finnick corrects, "Angry in a very intense, really scary way. The kind where any second you expect her to pull an axe out of her jacket and throw it at you."

Kaya laughs heartily and replies, "Sounds like you like her."

He sighs and admits, "She's all right."

There's silence for a while before Kaya whispers, "Do you think I could have stood up to her?"

"That's something I'd rather not think about," he says wistfully, taking his eyes off the horizon to turn his head toward her.

Her face is much closer than he expected and her eyes search for his. The light of the moon is enough to make out her delicate features, and his gaze slowly wanders over the figure that has become so familiar to him.

"What would you like to think about?" she finally whispers into the darkness, breaking the dam once and for all.

The answer is that he doesn't want to think at all, and he doesn't when his lips meet hers in the next moment. It's just an innocent caress, gentle and hesitant, before he pulls back again.

Kaya doesn't let him, and chases after his lips as they leave hers. She gently places a hand on his cheek and pulls him back to her, demanding, but tender, into a slightly firmer kiss.

The same feeling as when they embraced at the academy is back, only a thousand times stronger. It's like he's stuck in a perfect dream with her, noses touching, lips brushing together, completely lost in that comforting warm feeling he only gets when he's near her.

Any hesitation is gone and he wraps his arms tightly around her as he steals her breath away, pulling her close until she's nearly straddling him. She is similarly entwined with him and one hand plays with the hair on the back of his neck.

Only when their breath becomes scarce do they detach from each other a little, foreheads touching and breathing heavily.

As his mind slowly catches up with him again, his thoughts are racing. Everything is abruptly back in his head, the things he does while he's in the Capitol that Kaya has no idea about, what Snow is threatening him with to make him do all that, the fact that Kaya is now also another chink in his armor, and the fear of what she would think of him if she knew everything.

"Maybe we shouldn't ..." he begins, but he can't bring himself to finish the sentence.

Uncertainty spreads across Kaya's face. "Why would you say that?" she asks, visibly confused.

Finnick gently rubs her back where his hand rests. "There are things you don't know about, bad things that ..." again he can't find the words, or maybe he just can't bring himself to say them.

"I don't know what you mean by that," she says hesitantly.

He'd love to turn back time so he wouldn't have to have this conversation, but as much as he wants to keep what he has with Kaya, he's not going to be able to just keep her in the dark forever. It feels like he's deceiving her, and by his next forced visit to the Capitol at the latest, he'd be betraying her, too, albeit not willingly.

He averts his gaze, for he will never bring the words past his lips, while she looks at him with wide eyes. "There are people that I ..." he begins, "They're not like you but ..."

"Are you talking about your visits to the Capitol?" she asks slowly, with a questioning look. His behavior worries her, because as long as she's known Finnick, she's never seen him so nervous and anxious. What she's noticed over time, though, is the sadness he's always hides proficiently under a smile or a playful comment, and she wonders if whatever is bothering him so much is the cause of that, too.

Finnick takes a shaky breath. "I know you have to get to see what they say about me on Capitol TV at least once in a while," he finally counters.

Kaya gives him an airy laugh and asks, "You mean all the people who like to hang on your arm to feel somehow significant?"

"You say it like that, but that's not all, not by a long shot," Finnick replies seriously.

"Is there someone else?"

"No one like you, never anyone like you," he announces firmly. "But the things I have to do at the Capitol...I'll never be able to...I won't be able to stop, you know? I'm afraid that I'm bad for you. I think you deserve better, someone better than me, someone who can give themselves to you completely."

Kaya looks at him so insistently, as if trying to decipher the riddle of his being only with her eyes. "The people you're with at the Capitol, do you really feel anything for them?"

"Heavens no," he exclaims, "I would like nothing better than to simply forget their existence."

"Then do it," Kaya retorts, adjusting her position above him until their noses are almost touching. "Forget about everyone and everything else. Tell me I'm the only one, and we can just stay exactly like this, because you're my whole world. You're the one who saved me, so my heart beats only for you, do with it as you please," she announces softly.

It takes him a moment to collect himself, but after a deep breath, he looks into her eyes again and whispers softly but with seriousness, "You are the first and the only one for me."

"That's enough for me," is her only reply before she presses another tender kiss against his mouth.

And for now, it's enough for him too, enough to temporarily ease his conscience and sink back into her loving embrace.

They sit like that for a long time, snuggled close together, her head on his shoulder while his arms are wrapped around her.

"Whatever it is that weighs so heavily on your heart, you can tell me if you want. Maybe someday or never, it won't change how I feel about you. Just promise me to be honest when you do," is the only thing she mumbles to him later.

He will tell her, he will have to, even at the risk of her being wrong about this. But no matter how it turns out, he could never continue to do Snow's bidding while Kaya sits unsuspectingly at home waiting for him. But not tonight, just this one night he wants to spend in peace.

"I promise."

~~~

Image source for my divider: freepik

[fancyfeathers]

Okay this is a bit a weird request for Fancy. Basically after finishing the current archon quest and seeing your comments about Kachina (I love her btw) I just had the most weird and insane idea at 2 am 😭

Okay- So what if William and his darling had another daughter? Like, you know when most of fam had kids and they kinda have grown big and then there is this random younger child that is born after many years of everyone pretty much stopping having kids years ago.

Basically my idea was that this younger daughter would be really similar to Kachina in terms of personality. And since she probably would have been an accidental(?) child, she is like way younger than the rest of the kids and she is way to young to figure out/know about the lord of crime thing, so she just kinda is that lonely child left aside (especially after william is gone for like 3 years presumed ‘dead’, where all of other kids just leave the house and don’t even come back for the reunion)

So yeah- this is very random- you can make it AU scenario if it feels weird to include her, or not do it at all of its too chaotic 😭 but ig i would love ur thoughts on this then ❤️

Yes, Oh my god yes! I live this request more than anything and she would probably end up looking a lot like Kachina just because genetics from William and his darling

I love this idea and I am making it happen now

Father Like Daughter (Yandere William James Moriarty and his darling having a genius daughter)

I could definitely see this happening one of two ways, the first of which would her being born right before the Final Problem. At this point Eloise is around seventeen, and Madeline is about fifteen, and when she is born both of them forget what it is like to have a baby around since they were all born within a few years of each other. Then when William is pronounced as “dead” and everything just falls to hell, she probably would be taken in by Louis and his darling, her uncle and aunt, since William’s darling just had her whole world turn around and is no state to raise another child (to which then she goes to New York to start over and reunites with William). For three years she is raised by him and she has a normal childhood, playing about with other kids but at the same time she helps out when she can since her Uncle Louis always seems a bit stressed, so she grows a sense of responsibility. She is told about her father, not about the darker sides of their family though, and her elder sister and cousins, but when she asks if she can meet them Louis has to say no but he cannot tell her why, that they all cut everyone else off, so he has to tell her that her older sisters and cousins are doing really important jobs so they are quite busy. But sometimes she will snag a glance at the newspaper when her uncle or even Mr. Bonde is reading it and see stories about her amazing detective sister and her latest case or her really cool big cousin and the charity he had just founded, they are her heroes and she barely knows them. That is until one day when she is out on a walk to the store with her Uncle Louis and she let’s go of his hand for one second to look at a pretty lady’s dress and-

“Watch out!”

Before she can even know what is going on, a lady grabs her and pulls her out of the way from being trampled by a horse. It takes her a second to recognize the lady as none other than Eloise. There is a quick sweet moment between the two of them before Eloise has to hand her back to their uncle because she has a meeting with a client of hers. Then on their own way home her uncle hears her say-

“When I’m grown up I want to be brave and strong, just like Eloise!”

The other way is that when William and his darling reunite in New York, his darling ends up getting pregnant with her and she gets a pretty normal childhood compared to her sisters and cousins. She will snuggle between her parents after they had dinner with Billy and Sherlock and Sherlock’s darling and ask all about what her big sisters are like with no idea of who they really are now, so in her mind she gets painted this false version of what they are like now because children cannot always understand how people can change over time. So when the day comes when she finally gets to move to England, she is so excited to meet her big sisters and cousin and honestly expects to be a big family like in the stories William told her about them. So just imagine her shock and disappointment when none of the show up and she just looks at her father and asked why aren’t they there.

She would honestly probably be everything William hoped for in his relationship with his children but the others just have stubborn way of seeing things.

[azreactstowormtheserial]

Overboard [8.1-11.8]

SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SCROLL WHEN YOU HIT KEEP READING

--Yeah... Sorry for not keeping to that 'one arc at a time' promise. But whilst I'm in medical-recovery mode I have nothing better to do than Worm [The Serial] my afternoons away.

And look at that! I'm 1/3 through all of the main story. At least, by Arc-No. ? My friend said come the end of Arc 8, I'd graduated from 'Early Worm'. Should I be scared or happy to be gradually approaching 'Late Worm'?

Speaking of.

ARC 8 -- EXTERMINATION

Title Accurate.

ARC 9 -- SE

Okay, okay. I'll talk about Arc 8. It's a little weird to talk about as a whole. Way easier in the moment, reacting to things as they happen.

"1 in 4 of you (at least) will die."

Tattletale "down".

Aegis, Gallant, Iron Falcon, Mr. G,

Taylor -breaking her spine -- she could have died!

And I thought I couldn't handle the stress of the inter-group dynamic potentially crumbling at the end of Arc 7. Don't worry, we'll get to that.

The endbringers are a terrifying concept. Like, what do you do? Wear it down, hundreds dying to prevent hundreds of thousands from dying, only for it to recover for a few years, months, who knows-- before it attacks somewhere else, almost unprompted?

Almost. I have no idea what it was doing, edging slowly towards Coil's base like a fucking NGE Angel. That's almost as scary.

It just, picked people off. Indiscriminantly.

Kaiser. A powerful, influential-- horrible excuse for a human being, but still, a major player-- he's just dead! Just like that!

I'd started to like a few of The Wards towards the the end of Arc 6, I think. At first it was easy to group them into a 'haha these kids don't know any better, they're really snot-nosed about being heroes'-- which feels a lot nicer a label than what's actually happening.

They're just kids! 15, 16, Vista is 13. 13! Kids that've had a traumatic past, in one way or another. Up against, and dying to, an existential threat. Sentinel really helped put this into perspective.

I'd love to talk about individual moments that I thought were cool; Tattletale's analysis of Leviathan, The truce between heroes and villains, Clockblocker absolutely stepping the fuck up and pretty much clutching the entire fight. But I need to talk about Armsmaster.

(These few lines saved me.)

ARMSMASTER. You horrific excuse for a human being. Jeopardizing CHILDREN'S LIVES, YOUR COMRADES LIVES, PEOPLE'S LIVES-- AND FOR WHAT!?!?!?!?

WAIT NO STOP NO

I absolutely hate this fucking guy. How do you ruin everything in the middle of a natural(?) disaster killing thousands.

(Did I mention Shadow Stalker is Sophia. Huh. That's interesting! I'm sure it won't come up again.)

The arc ends really bittersweet.

I'm really sorry, Bitch. Showing up and saving Taylor was an amazing moment, but that's over half of your closest family, just gone.

But, I totally called it.

I know I wanted to take a break after all that, but I couldn't just leave it at "I told her my answer." -- I had to find out what it was!! So, after a few hours of psyching myself up, I got straight into the Interlude.

ARC 8 -- INTERLUDE [COIL]

How do you beat Coil? What -happened- to Coil to give him this power? Applied perfectly, his power makes him practically invulnerable. One of his only weak points being the immediacy after closing his second universe.

I still don't know how to feel about Coil. He's said in vague terms that his plan for Brockton Bay was to improve. Taylor, I think, took this to mean that people's livelihoods would be better. People would have food, shelter, water. But it's so difficult to tell, even with a direct view into his mind like this interlude gave. All I know is that this is a plan he's put a considerable amount of time and his life towards-- it has to mean a lot to him and he has to be strong in his ideals. I only hope that he isn't utterly insane.

Because if he is? If his motives are 'evil', unjust-- if you can even say they have the potential to be just, with how he operates-- I don't know if anyone can beat him.

...

Shit.

ARC 9 -- SENTINEL

This arc was nice. The breather I needed, and was worried I wouldn't get, after Arc 8's Interlude.

I mentioned that I'd started to like The Wards a little earlier in the story, so the emotional beats really worked here for me. And even if I didn't, this arc'd easily have been a turning point.

\=====

[Az.Interlude: Obligatory Wards (And Co.) Tier List]

Bold means #1 in each thing if there's more than 1.

S [Super :)] - Flechette, Glory Girl, ****Shadow Stalker****, Vista

A [A cool character] - *Clockblocker, Gallant, Kid Win, Panacea, ****Weld***

B [Baegis Tier] - Aegis

C [Cant Remember] - Browbeat

(Sorry Browbeat, who apparently died offscreen in Arc 8.)

\====

I say it's nice, but really we're just seeing a few kids grieve the deaths of their friends. Is that what 'nice' is, in Worm?

Sophia/Shadow Stalker is growing into a more and more interesting character. Though everyone got their fair share of attention, I found her scenes, like the one with Flechette in 9.2, quite interesting.

I* think something really awful happened to Shadow Stalker. *

A lot of my thoughts on Arc 9 I think are just snippets at characters I like. I really liked Weld, and felt 'kinda bad for him. He's trying his best! He's just walking into all this mess.

Vista's chapter made me cry. She's so strong for standing up to Shadow Stalker like that! And the story's tackling on trying to 'fill in' somebody's role after they've passed really hit me like a freight train.

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[Az.Interlude 2: Now Obligatory Protectorate (and Dragon) Tier List]

S [This is actually based off of the arc 10 interlude, wait for that.] - Dragon

A [Assault- Oh] - Miss Militia

B [Battery] - Battery

C [Cool? I think?] - Assault, Triumph, Velocity

D ['Dunno] - [Anyone who I haven't remembered. I don't know that many...]

F [Fucking Armsmaster] - Guess who

\====

9.3 was a nifty chapter, too. It's probably the only instance of a 'character are bored in an exposition-lecture' that I've actually thought was pretty well done?

Also, it's nice to get some Clockblocker characterisation. He gets a pass for his flaws because of his context. I do hope his dad ends up getting healed-- but the scenario as a whole really makes me feel for Amy/Panacea. There's so much suffering in the world, and it's -technically- preventable. Just through her. How much of a weight on her shoulders is that?

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[Az.Interlude 3: Favorite Arcs]

S - [Super Good Arc] [4. Shell] [8. Extermination] [9. Sentinel] [10. Parasite.]

A [A really good Arc] - [11. Infestation] [6. Tangle] [7. Buzz]

B [Breally good] - [1. Gestation] [2. Insinuation] [3. Agitation]

\====

(See what I'm doing there, by the way? Interlude Arc? Load of Interlude Tier lists? Whatever.) KID WIN ADHD TINKER REP!!!!

I think that's my cue to hop on over to

ARC 10 -- PARASITE

Okay, sure, sure-- Taylor's back, but on uneasy terms, swallowing her pride, sure--

ALEC. ALEC! I THOUGHT YOU JUST MADE PEOPLE TRIP! And I thought even how -that- power was utilized was a little horrifying. This is just... I mean. I'll talk about it some more in the interlude.

Hi Imp! It's nice to meet you! Where'd you come from? Or maybe she was here the whole time, and that's her power--

Imp's neat. I like her power, and I'm hoping we see more of her! She doesn't quite live up to the rest of the gang just yet, but, I mean-- they've been around 9 more arcs. I was wondering if The Undersiders were going to recruit some more members...

This Arc's short but sweet. An infiltration à la the bank robbery, some fights with some superheroes-- and, Dragon!!! Dragon is so cool!!! I love Dragon!!!! We'll get there!!!!

I expected Bitch and Taylor to have a proper confrontation about everything, but... She really just sabotaged her mid-mission? Taylor's beatdown of her was unfortunately deserved-- like, c'mon. You're hurt. More than any of the others, really. But you didn't even 'eye for an eye' her, you went ahead and 'eye for a head' or whatever the relevant saying'd be. I

*really

* hope she takes her up on that offer.

Everything was going alright, even if Dragon'd appeared and made the escape a little tricky. And, oh. A meeting with Coil. Maybe Taylor can hash things out, and come up with a deal that reflects her--

So. That's one way to make an impression of a new overarching villain group. What the actual fuck, Jack. The absolute balls of this reveal-- I have no idea what to make of it, and already Jack just in how he's been described in passing, and-- this-- already made me clock him as a huge threat. I can't wait to see how this goes. I'm sure it'll go great. I'm sure.

ARC 10 -- INTERLUDE [ALEC]

Alec, alecalecalec-- What the actual fuck. I really should have thought twice when Lisa clocked you as a sociopath on first sight. This chapter was scary. Even Sophia doesn't deserve that. The "breach of privacy" -- if you can even -call- it that, with how far it went, made me sick to my stomach.

It's 'kinda crazy that this is just something that continued word-for-word from an earlier chapter. What else has happened directly after Taylor's POV left a scene? What has she missed?

I'm sure this won't come back to bite Taylor in the ass.

Or that.

I think something really awful happened to Shadow Stalker. [2]

Even after all that. I still like Alec. I think. In his own, fucked up, twisted way, he's getting payback for Taylor. He just has no limit. And, I mean-- he is still a kid. That had a horrendous, abuse-ridden upbringing. I don't know. I'm allowed to have complicated feelings about the main cast!

ARC 10 -- INTERLUDE [DRAGON]

Dragon, on the other hand, is objectively fucking cool. She's not even human! What?! It's 2011! Or something like that. I'm a bit of a dork for the 'kinda stuff that the opening third of this chapter was. That it was layered with limitations, purposeful, intended ones that dig under Dragon's skin at all times-- that she's keeping this a secret from even her closest co-workers-- only made me root for her character even more. I'm hoping she's, uh. 'One of the good ones'? Is that how you'd put it? Weird considering she's a hero, but--

*Armsmaster. *Come on.

Oh, look. It came back to bite Taylor in the ass.

Taylor in Arc 11 ruminates on how she'd face losing her civillian identity. But I don't think she quite understands the ramification of it just yet. This is the beginning of the end, in that regard-- Dragon found her.

I'll try not to gush about an interlude too much just to get to Arc 11 and wrap up this post before the day's over, so I'll just leave it at:

*The conversation between Lung and Marquis was very interesting. ****I hope Amy is okay.***

Arc 11 -- INFESTATION (I haven't read the interludes yet! I thought the final base-11 was a good place to stop.)

The Merchants are pretty fucked up, huh? 'Might makes Right' as an actual group philosphy never works. And I don't think the leader's are -that- stupid. I wonder what their deal is?

And, yeah. I'll finally bring it up, Worm. You've got me. *I'm interested in whatever the fuck Case 53 is. *And so is Faultine, apparently. Let's hope they stay in touch with Lisa.

Skitter taking over her territory was rad. She'll make a great monarch! (Queen bee? Is there an insect joke you can make here?)

Whatever my views about how things should be handled, Taylor's helping people in the here and now, and keeping groups like The Merchants out. Helping families. I think what she's doing is right.

And, for once, it all works out! Not without a hitch. Or an underlying dread. Taylor being the arbiter of one of the more straight up 'bad' Merchant's fate is a little telling that her moral's have shifted, somewhat. She's more comfortable leaving someone to die than insisting they have the right to a fair trial, etc-- even if the situtation did totally call for it.

Faultline's crew showing up was neat. I don't think I've mentioned Labyrinth, actually. Her and Newter are my favorite of Faultline's crew. I might go back and re-read Gregor's interlude, just for another look at how Faultline runs things.

And, my god. Brian finally picked up some slack, after some nudging via Lisa. Good on her. The dynamic needs some work from the both of them to build up the trust they once had. But they'll be friends in no time. I hope. Everything's working out.

...

*Oh my god, No, Taylor you can't ****say it!***

Everything is going to go to shit, isn't it?

I don't want to read on anymore. Can't it stop right here? Taylor won, got her friends back? Please?

See you all on the other side. Promise it won't take as long.