#but why why why are random people. who are just.. conventionally attractive?

[spellwell]

my neighbor; richard grayson.

dick grayson fluff one-shot

fluff; sfw

summary: Janet has lived across from the richest man in town and his son for years, but seeing as he’s the most popular kid at school they’ve never spoken. When Dick’s teacher tells him he can raise his grades or quit the football team, he’s paired with the smartest girl in school- Janet. After countless study sessions, a friendship begins to blossom. One night while walking home alone she is saved by the infamous Robin, Batman’s sidekick. She becomes infatuated with Robin and can’t seem to stop thinking about him. What happens when she finds out Dick, who she previously never saw herself with might have a secret?

warnings: none. cussing ig. just fluff

universe: random batman and robin

notes: this can be read as this girl Janet that I made up or you can pretend it’s you, totally up to you. either way I thought it was a cute idea :) enjoy. PLEASE SEND IN STORY REQUESTS!!!

words: 5.7k

Every day I wake up, and go to the same stupid school around all the same stupid classmates that I’ve known my entire life. Due to the high crime rate in Gotham, no body wants to move here, let alone bring their kids and enlist them into Gotham high. Not all of it’s bad, some of the people are better than others but one I can’t stand is Dick Grayson. Every day I sit here and watch as the girls in this class fall all over him, like he’s some kind of king. Sure, he’s conventionally attractive and plays football but what else does he do, really?

Last I heard he’s failing this class, and probably others, what kind of girl would want a guy with no brains?

“Foster! Grayson! Come and see me before the end of class.” The teacher’s crude tone interrupts my thoughts, causing my gaze to snap towards her direction. Just like she had manifested, the bell rings shortly after her announcement, a groan leaving my chest. I heard her correctly, my last name along with… his. I begrudgingly stand to my feet and shuffle in the direction of her desk, hearing Dick’s annoying voice ring as he says good bye to his many wives. Am I in trouble? Why would I be? I pay attention and get straight A’s, something Dick has never done in his life.

His presence beside me is oddly intimidating, but that quickly goes away once he opens his mouth. “What’s up teach? I gotta go to practice.” He says in a rushed tone, causing my eyes to roll. She gives him a stern look, like he’s not happy about what he’s about to hear. “Practice is none of your concern anymore, Richard. You are failing this class along with math, history.” She scans her computer screen and then looks back up at him. “The works Grayson. If you do not get these grades up by the end of this week, you will be cut from the team.” Her voice softens, trying to show him the severity of his situation. A giggle threatened to escape my lips, and it would have if she hadn’t looked at me next. “And you Ms. Foster, would be the perfect tutor.” My eyes fly into a saucer like shape, mouth agape. Dick opens his mouth before I can even think of a response. “So if Janet helps me study, and I pass, I can stay on the team?” His voice is hopeful, excited even.

“If she agrees to it, yes. Until you pass, you’re still cut from practice.” She looks back and forth between us, a sigh leaving my lips. “No, sorry.” I finally get the courage to look up at him. “I don’t have time.” I look back at the teacher with a pretend sad face and shake my head. “You’ll have to find someone else.” I know out of anyone in this class, my grades are the highest, but no way am I helping this jock pass any of his classes.

I begin to exit but Dick is close behind me. “Janet! Janet wait! What do you mean you don’t have time? Ya gotta help me, right?” I swear this guy is actually stupid! He’s been handed everything his entire life hasn’t he? Won’t get the memo. “I’m surprised you even know my name. I’m busy just like I said, sorry I can’t be more help.” I speed up my pace, but his pace simply begins to match my own. “Of course I know your name! We’re neighbors, we’ve been neighbors Janet, oh come on!” Not only am I surprised he knows my name, but that we live in the same neighborhood. I’ve watched this guy grow up, his rich dad always giving him anything and everything he wants, which is something I’ve never had. “Please.” He took my silence as another no, which it was. “Please, I’ll do anything. My dad can pay you, or I could! Oh- uh, I could take you to prom?” This causes me too groan in disgust as we approach the back doors of the school. “I said no, Dick!” My voices raises, hand almost to the door. Before I can reach it and escape, he fills the space between me and it, making me jump back. “Look, I know we’ve never been friends, but you’re super smart and I could really use your help…please?” I look up at him, watching his expression morph into the face he makes when he gets anything he could ever want. I sigh, tapping my foot on the ground. He looks so sad, hopeless even… plus he said please. Oh man, am I really about to say yes? My arms cross as another large sigh escapes my lungs. “Alright, I’ll help you study-“

“No way! Thanks Janet I really needed-“

“On one condition! We meet at your house every day after school for the next two weeks, excluding weekends. No flaking! This is my time you’re using here.”

He nods quickly like an excited dog. “Sounds great, yeah. We start tomorrow?” I nod back, accepting that answer, but refusing any kind of smile. Him on the other hand, has the largest grin iv’e ever seen. “And if you still fail, it’s not my fault! You can’t blame me.” He rolls his eyes in a playful manner. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks again, Janet!” He turns to run away, looking back in my direction one last time.

“Oh and Janet, that was two conditions, not one.”

-

It’s Friday and unfortunately my school day isn’t quite over. Sure I get to leave this building, but it’s the first day of tutoring Grayson. Now I get to leave here and go over to the Wayne mansion, where my new student lives. I was surprised to learn that I actually exist to him. In middle school I moved here with my parents, never having many friends so none were really left behind. I think I secretly hoped I could make a friend upon moving here but the few friends I do have are more quiet and reserved than me. So the idea of going to someone’s house is intimidating but kind of exciting. Especially a house like Bruce Wayne’s, one of the richest men in town. My house is no where near this size and it intimidates me even further as I approach it. I wasn’t sure what to do as I got close to the gate, nerves filling me. A doorbell sat to the right of the gate, my finger raising to press it. I gently press the button, a sound erupting from the device it was connected to. Nothing happens after this and I stand there, slightly embarrassed and confused. That was until I watched Dick ran from the top of the driveway, towards me. He had that big stupid grin he always has, which oddly calmed the nerves. “Hey! I thought I’d come get you.” He said, using the remote in his hand to open the gate. Admittedly, that was nice of him seeing as I wasn’t really sure how to get into this place. “It’s kinda huge, but I promise it’s much more inviting on the inside.” He goes on and on as we go up the long walk way. “Alfred’s pretty cool, don’t let him intimidate you.” Not a word has come from my mouth yet, but Dick seems to talk and talk and talk.

He definitely lied about the inside being more inviting, Mr.Wayne also seems to like keeping it dim in here. “Do you need anything, Master Dick?” Who I assume is Alfred says as Dick ushers me through the front of the house. “No thanks, Alfred! Janet is here to help me study.” Alfred looked in my direction, a small smile appearing on his face. “Welcome Mrs. Foster, it’s nice to have a neighbor over for a change.” This made my eyes widen, the idea of the Wayne estate residents acknowledging me and my families’ presence was surprising. I flash him a small smile before Dick nearly drags me up the stairs like an embarrassed child. The place really is huge and there are so many doors that I can only imagine lead to huge rooms. The house was covered in old things, vintage looking decor like it had been there for a long time. Eventually we made it to what I assume is hie bedroom, much more proper looking than I was expecting. “We have a library, but I thought you’d be more comfortable in here.” He was right, his room may also be huge, but much less intimidating than a large library. “Sorry about Alfred, he’s just excited about about having a guest.” I shake my head, a small chuckle leaving me. “No need to apologize.”

As the studying commenced, I began to realize Dick is actually really nice and that I may have judged him too quickly. He’s also not as dumb as I took him for, especially with numbers. “You’re really not that bad at math, y’know.” I said as I watched him finish his last problem on the homework. “Yeah?” He looked up with his bright blue eyes, a small grin on his lips. “Still not better than you.” I giggled, rolling my eyes. He keeps telling me how smart I am, but really if he applied himself I could see him getting pretty good grades. “So what’s it like, living in such a huge house like this? Is it just you, your father and Alfred?” I ask, watching him write the last number to his final answer. “Yeah it’s just us. This place is amazing, but kind of quiet and lonely sometimes.” He says with a shrug, pushing the paper to my direction on the floor. The more I see into his personal life, the more I understand why he would thrive off the attention at school, which I previously found obnoxious. With this new found understanding, his personality comes off as more endearing. “What about you? I mean what’s your home life like?” I look at him before darting my eyes down to his paper, he got it right. “Your answer is correct.” I said with a smile, going to pull the history book out of my bag. “You didn’t answer the question, that bad huh?” He motions to the book in my hands. “Before you start going on about that, I wanna know more about you, seriously.” I groan and roll my eyes, a small smile threatening to creep onto my cheeks. “It’s nothing special… really. I mean my parents are well off but we aren’t the closest, I focus on my studies mainly.” I shrug my shoulders, opening the book to the page we’ve been working on in class.

He rolls his eyes back at me, sitting back on his hands. “That’s all your gonna tell me, really? I’ll get more out of you by the time we’re done with this studying deal.” He says with a smirk, that classic smirk he uses on all the ladies. Unlike these other girls at school, I do not have the hots for Grayson. Now that I’ve gotten to know him though, I guess I understand the charm.

-

It’s been a week since we started tutoring, and he’s improved his grades a lot. All he really seemed to need, was a little bit more focus and motivation. I’ve decided I like this guy more than I thought I did, maybe he’s not the spoiled brat I assumed him to be. Dick has seemed to take a liking to me, saying hello in the halls and talking my ear off when I go over. He even invited me to the game tonight, to which I said no of course. School games have never been my thing, and Dick Grayson is not going to change that.

I am at the school, however to finish my last online paper of the week. Once a week I stay late and finish any computer work I need, seeing as I hate asking my dad to borrow his work computer over school papers. I always pick nights like this, a big game going on, staff and classmates a like making all tons of racket. It may seem like an odd time to get quiet study time, but this school is terrifying to be nearly alone in and the racket helps fill the overly silent room.

The paper took longer than I had hoped, but once I finished the last sentence it was all worth it. I wasn’t expecting the sky to be so dark as I exited, realizing I took my sweet time tonight. I usually try and leave right before the game ends, but tonight it’s just now ending. I make my way down the path in front of the school, passing all kinds of people I recognize. My eyes trail around to see Dick, standing with three girls that I see follow him around all the time. “Janet!” He seems to notice me as well, motioning in big movements for me to come over. I roll my eyes and make my way over, not exactly wanting to stay and chat. “Our basketball team did great, ya missed it!” He gets so excited about sports, just another thing we don’t have in common. “I think I’ll survive.” He grins at my sarcastic comment, like he always does. “You want a ride home?” He pulls his keys out of his pocket and shakes them, the girls next to him watching the charms dangle like cats. Dick will show that car daddy got him to anyone, he’s obsessed with it and I definitely don’t want that much attention. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m walking home.” The girls next to him stop glaring and look away, happy with my answer. He gives me a disapproving look, hands flying to his hips. “It’s dark, Janet. Is that really safe?” I mock his stance, hands resting on my hips. “You can take me home, Dickie!” I nearly gag at that nickname, but this blondie always calls him that. He seems to get distracted by this easily, making my escape easy. He goes to speak again, but I swiftly had walked away and I’m sure those girls will take care of him just fine.

The walk home was going to be like any walk home, that was until I stumbled upon an old playground that i’ve loved since I moved here. The thing is falling apart and truly, it should probably be removed but on late night walks like this, I can’t help but gaze at it. The idea of sitting here and getting some much needed me time is great, so I go and take a seat at one of the swings that are barley hanging on. One thing I did not consider, is who ever else may also want to come to this park and if they could be unsafe. The air feels still, maybe even a bit too still. Gotham tends to be loud and polluted with the energies of overpopulation, but tonight it feels empty and calm. My phone begins to ring, the sound making me jump out of my skin. I go to check it, until a figure comes around the corner of a tree and makes me jump out of my skin once more.

Quickly standing up, the phone leaves my mind like it’s not even making sound anymore. The figure wastes no time making it’s way over and I waste no time attempting to get away. “What’s your name?” The mystery figure asks in an odd tone. “Do you wanna hang out?” The figure comes into light, it’s features now apparent to me. My heart gets caught in my throat, a decent sized man now in front of me. He looks disheveled, an evil grin adorning his face. I want to open my mouth and speak, but anxiety has my vocal chords tied. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” He gets closer, speaking again. I don’t trust his words, backing up further than I intended and almost falling over the swing behind me. “I gotta go.” That’s all I could get out as I prepare to book it. We make eye contact for a good amount of time, like he’s trying to intimate me. I take this second to split, but he proves to be faster than me and gets a good hold on my wrist. I scream, body instantly tensing and going into panic mode.

This guy has me, and based on his smirk I can only imagine what he plans to do with me. I struggle against his grip, pulling and tugging until his grip begins to cut off circulation. “Let go of me!” I scream, hearing a laugh erupt from his chest as he watches me struggle. I yank hard enough to send my body onto the concrete beneath me, this guy now preying from above me. I watch as he goes to grab me again, but within a blink he is now also on the ground. The wind gets knocked out of him as he hits the ground, “Grabbing young girls in the middle of the night? Is that really a good look?” A male voice asks, now standing in between me and my predator.

I look up to see my savior, a raven haired masked man. The guy gets up, panicked that he got caught and begins to run away. The masked man grabs something out of his pocket and throws it towards the running villain who instantly goes back down as it reaches him. My eyes go wide, darting from him to the masked man. I quickly get up, scrambling to find the courage to just run away back home but before I can the masked man turns to me. “Are you okay?” He asks, making my paranoia settle. I can’t see his eyes, but his expression is kind. I nod slowly, words still hiding from me. He checks back to see the guy is in fact down, the sharp object he threw sticking out of his ankle. Pained groans leave his mouth as he rolls around and holds his ankle, deserved.

“Did he hurt you?” My attention is brought back to my hero. “No… thanks to you.” I said softly, still shaken up. He smiled at my words, a smile I don’t think I’ll ever forget. He looked me up and down, his concerned expression returning. “You gotta be more careful, there’s some serious creeps out at night.” He looked around and then back at me. “I’ll take care of this guy, go home.” His voice was sweet but stern, just like the rest of him. I stare for a moment, looking between him and the guy on the ground. “Okay…” I finally find the words, “thanks again…” my voice soft, blushing at the grin he holds on his cheeks. I flash him the smallest grin before running from the scene, just glad to be okay.

I watched my back as I got home, making sure to avoid any more confrontation for tonight. Who was that guy? I couldn’t see beyond his mask. All I know, is that he will forever be my hero.

-

It’s now Monday and the idea of telling Dick he was right made my stomach turn. I should have let him drive me home, but a small part of me is glad I didn’t. After being saved by the infamous Robin, Batman’s side kick, I have a new idea of what a man should be like. No seriously, he’s all I could think about all weekend. The male love interests in my books have all become him and any cute boy at school now disinterests me. I’ve known of the vigilante and his side kick for a while now seeing as well… everyone here knows of Batman and Robin. I however never thought I’d find myself being saved by either of them, especially the cute sidekick. The sweet smile on his face, the confident way he holds himself, really everything about him seems so intoxicating. I’d be lying if I said school was on my mind at all today, like… at all. Of course I didn’t tell my parents, or anyone for that matter, I don’t want anyone knowing I put myself in such a risky situation. But Robin knows, and now I can’t help but wonder who on earth he could be.

“Earth to Janet!” Dick’s loud, obnoxious voice broke through my day dreams, making me realize I’m currently sitting on his bedroom floor. “C’mon, Jan! We got a test tomorrow and you’ve barley been here for the last hour. What are you thinking about?” I look up from the floor and to him. He’s leaning back against the bed frame, a puzzled look on his face. “I mean, usually you’re yelling at me to pay attention.” He chews on the gum in his mouth, a large smack sounding every few minutes. “Sorry Dick, I just have a lot on my mind.” The idea of telling him about my mystery savior scares me, but maybe he can help me figure out who it is. “Oh yeah? I didn’t know anything could be more important to you than studying.” I give him a playful glare, deciding to glaze over his comment. “Something crazy happened to me Friday night.”

This caused him to perk up, instantly sitting up. “Crazy? Like what?” He blinked a few times, watching me react hesitantly. “I can see the wheels turning Jan, what happened?” He practically jumped up and down in his seat, obviously intrigued. I sigh, leaning in like I’m about to reveal a huge secret. “I got attacked by some psycho at the park…” His eyed went wide, mouth opening to say I told you so I assume but I cut him off. “He tried to hurt me… I mean I really thought I was a goner. But Robin showed up!” I could feel my own eyes light up, lips threatening to yank a grin onto my cheeks. “He saved me!” He raised a brow, the same puzzled look still adorning his face. “Robin? Like Batman’s sidekick Robin?” I nod furiously, adjusting in my seat on the floor. “Yes! He flew right in and saved me. I mean really Dick, you should have seen the guys face, he was flabbergasted!” This made us both chuckle, before he got real serious again.

“I’m glad he was there to save you, but what did I tell you about walking home at night… alone?! Seriously Jan, you could have been seriously hurt.” I roll my eyes, groaning at he sound of him shrilling. “I know, I know-“

“And who even is this Robin guy? I mean isn’t he a vigilante?” I quickly shake my head at the idea of Robin being any less than a masked hero. “No, no! He’s a hero… he’s my hero. I mean, he saved me!” A small grin appeared on his face, for why I’m not sure but he seemed to like that answer. “Just be careful…” He says soft, both of our eyes darting down to the book in front of us. He’s right, I haven’t been very focused on our study course today. A small smile sits on my cheeks as I think of Robin and how he saved me, reliving it as I told the story to Dick. “Soooo… you got a thing for this guy or something? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much.” My eyes dart up from the page, a crimson blush taking over my entire face. “A what-“

He smirked, closing the book and accepting his fate of no studying today. “A crush, you have a crush.” A shocked sound leaves my mouth, if this booknwasnt so heavy, I’d throw it at him. “He saved my life!” He laughs, causing a giggle to also erupt from me. “Hey, I get it, don’t gotta make excuses with me.” I laugh harder, embarrassed but he just smiles down at me.

“If you figure out who he is, can I come to the wedding?”

-

A month later

After school activities had gone back to normal after me and Dick’s study agreement was over. He finally passed the classes he was in trouble for and got to return to the team. We may not hang out every day anymore, but I was surprised to see him still talk to me. Some days, he even has me come over to help with homework. Dick is very smart, it’s not that he can’t do it, he just really needs help focusing sometimes.

As for my crush on Robin, nothing has come of that. I did as much research as possible, or at least to my knowledge and this guy has done a really good job of concealing his identity. I’ve seen him a few more times, in the middle of some crime fighting with Batman in the city but haven’t tried to approach him. Really, all hopes of ever finding him have left me and I’m happy with that. I’ve spent my whole life so far alone, and it will continue that way, it’s not like anyone would ever like me like that anyways.

Today I agreed to go home with Dick, who wanted some help with a project and while I really wanted to meet him there, he’s insisted he drive us there. I feel terribly awkward and uncomfortable as I walk down the hall and towards the back door, next to Dick Grayson. “You’re gonna love my car, she purrs like a kitty.” He makes a cat sound, causing me to cringe even further. “You’re so weird, Dick.” He laughs as we pass girls and guys, all with weird looks on their faces. I’m not used to this kind of attention, in fact I do not like it. This is the kind of attention I had expected though if I let him drive me home, no body would expect him to have me in his car. He held the back door open for me and dragged me out to his car, grinning and waving to some of his fan girls on the way.

“Your first ride in the Grayson mobile!” He actually opens the passenger door for me, which makes a small grin appear on my cheeks. “And only.” I mutter to myself, but he seems to miss it and quickly jump into the drivers seat, taking no time to take off. I try and ignore the feeling of eyes staring at me as we speed out of the parking lot, admittedly this car does go pretty fast, but I’m still not convinced it could charm me like the other girls it works on. The drive to his house was fast and I enjoyed the silence for once as he focused on driving. Alfred seemed happy to see me, as he usually is and Bruce is no where to be found… as he usually is. I have actually met him a few times now and swear he even recognizes me now.

I’ve gotten a full tour of the Wayne mansion by now, so I grew surprised when I realized I got lost. On my way back from the bathroom I must have taken a wrong turn somehow and now found myself in an area of the house I don’t recognize as much. I will admit, this house leaves me curious with it’s age and size so I begin to peek into different rooms I’ve never seen before. One of them seems like an office, an older office that Bruce may not use anymore so I quietly slip in, planning to just look for a second. A large bookcase sat behind a desk, which is the first thing to grab my attention. I stand back and look at a few books, until a few specific titles take my attention away from the rest. Leave it to me to instead of snooping, get distracted by books. After listening for anyone coming, I go to grab a book from the shelf but it seems stuck. I tug a few times, the shelf shifting before me after the last tug. I hop back as the small opening appears from behind the now pushed aside case.

A dark room is now before me, small and quiet. I decide after an internal battle in my head to step inside and look around. It’s dusty in some spots, and I’m not able to see all too well because of the dark, but I do see the reflection of a glass case. I get close, finding old torn up fabric behind the said glass of the case. This isn’t any normal fabric though, these are a pair of Batman and Robin suits, a few of the things I’ve seen them wear. My eyes widen, breathe getting caught in my throat, why does Bruce Wayne have these? I scan them from top to bottom, they look used and torn in some places, like they really have been used in battle. I’m not stupid, and there’s no way Bruce Wayne is just a huge Batman fan, I know what this must mean. “You’re not gonna like- tell anyone right?” This makes me nearly jump out of my skin and fly through the ceiling. “Oh shit!” I yelled in surprise and fear, whipping around to see it’s just Dick who must have snuck in here quieter than a mouse. “Bruce is batman?” I quickly ask, words pouring out of my mouth. He gets closer quickly, movements also rapid and nervous. “You can’t tell anyone!” He whisper yells, now close enough for only me to hear him. He looks down at me, an expression of fear painting his eyes. “I mean seriously, Janet-“

I look him up and down before turning to look at the Robin suit that sat next to Batman’s. “This means that…” I trail off, nerves starting to consume me. “You’re… No way.” He seems to get even more nervous than before, showing a side of him I’ve never seen before. He sighs as I stand and look at him, dumbfounded. “Yes Janet… I’m Robin. And Bruce is Batman, but absolutely nobody can know-!”

“I won’t tell anyone I swear, okay?” I quickly reassure him, wanting his trust. “I mean it.” We both stare at each other for a moment, my cheeks heating as I think about the fact that… well Dick is Robin. The same Robin I’ve been crushing on… the same crush I told Dick about. Oh my god, I can’t tell if this is exciting, confusing or embarrassing. I’ve never seen Dick like that, but Robin is the most infatuating person I’ve ever seen. This also means that Dick was watching, an saved me, one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. Dick is my hero. His face slowly changes from shaken to smug, a smirk tugging his lips’ upward. “Does this mean you got it bad for me?” He says, biting his own lip and holding his hands together. My cheeks go hot and red, spit getting caught in my throat as I watch him stand and look at me, almost excited like.

“You don’t have to be shy about it.” He says soft, inching closer. I stutter, not sure how to respond. I’ve always found Dick Grayson to be overrated and annoying, but over time I have learned to love him as a friend. “I don’t know what to say…” I say soft, my eyes trailing down to the ground. I’ve learned Dick is a decent guy, but now I know he’s even better than I thought, a real hero. I look back up, seeing that his smile remains, but softens from smug to sweet. “You could ask me out.” He says soft, his thumbs still pulling at each other. It almost seems like, he wants me or something like he’s been waiting for this moment and wants me to ask him out. “Do you want that?” I asked, head cocked to the side. His smile fades, this seemed to embraced him, oops. “Yeah.” He says bluntly, making me confidence leave me and nerves return. “I’ve liked you for a while now… since you started tutoring me.” He looks at me with soft eyes, a small smile returning. “If you don’t feel the same it’s okay-“

“No! I do like you.” The words just seemed too again, pour out of me like an uncontrollable waterfall. “I like both of you… you and Robin I mean. You just happen to be both of them. You’re the one that saved me.” He watched me from a few inches away before deciding to break the distance and pull me into a gentle but close hug. “You’re the only person that seems to like me for me, of course I’d save you.” He said softly, pulling away to look at me for a moment. We lock eyes as he leans down to kiss me softly, but only for a moment to leave it soft and gentle. “What about all the others girls at school that like you?” I ask softy, eyes trailing to the side, his kiss tingling my lips. I always tease him about all the girls that he flirts with, little did I know the whole time I was who he wanted. “I only want you, though.” This made me smile and lean up to give him a peck on the cheek. He chuckled to himself, pulling me closer and squeezing me to death which also admitted a chuckle from me.

“No seriously though, you can’t tell anyone about the Batman and Robin shit.” I look up at him with a smirk, a way to tease him. “On one condition.” He rolls his eyes, hand reaching up top hold my cheek in his palm. “You and your conditions.”

“I get to be your girlfriend.”

“As long as I get to be your boyfriend.”

love, spell <3

please send more story requests!!

[natjennie]

the idea of "influencers" both confuses me and pisses me off to the highest caliber. like what do you mean. what qualifications do you have to be influencing anyone. what are you famous for... being famous? I don't get it.

[youremyheaven]

Random Astrology Observations- Relationship Edition

1. Men with Mars in water signs are usually the most fcked up in bed. They have bizarre kinks and often take things too far. They're probably aroused by bizarre things. They like to go to extremes and are probably very controlling & dominating in bed.

2. People with prominent 4h placements carry heavy family karma. This is a very challenging placement to have. You're either going to grow up feeling obsessively loved or neglected af.

3. Scorpios have a reputation for being possessive but you know who's actually possessive? Fire signs. They're like bulls in a china shop with love, unable to express themselves properly they just feel pissed off when they see others get too close or do stuff with their person. Anger is how they react to jealousy & possessiveness.

4. The ultimate baby making aspect is Moon conjunct Mars but bbg have you heard of Venus Conjunct Pluto? this is a rarer aspect but the sex is bomb dot com with this one.

5. Libra women are the kind of women that other women find attractive and Cancer women are the kind of women men find attractive.

Edit: i thought ill explain why this is the case

Cancer women are more representative of sexual polarity which leads to "femininity" and since sexual polarity is what creates attraction, men/masculine ppl are drawn to its opposite; women who are conventionally feminine.

Libra is the 7th sign in the zodiac, 7 is the number of union, of merging of opposites, therefore they possess both feminine and masculine energies, thus making them androgynous almost (purely in an energetic way, they can look/behave however they like). Women are drawn to other women who are more integrated and androgynous ish. For ex: Bella Hadid is a Libra Sun, she's considered gorgeous & stunning by loads of women but she's not someone men are drawn to simply bc she's intimidating and a little androgynous.

6. Sagittarius is the most introverted of all the fire signs. They are selectively social. They also think they're better than others (a lot of the time, they are tho 🫣)

7. Venus in 10h is The High Priestess placement to me. You'll never get over a girl with Venus in 10h

8. Jupiter in 1h/2h/4h often tends to make the native voluptuous. Even men with this placement are big & beefy 👅

9. Opposites attract is true af in astrology

Mars dominant men obsessively fall for Venusian women because they are the opposites.

10. 5h synastry creates a very sexual and pleasurable relationship.

11. The people you have crazy sexual tension with are those you have 7h/8h/12h synastry with

[moon-ayyye]

Worst fandom mischaracterisation/headcanon of each bat-associated character, in my opinion (these are in no particular order) :

1. Duke Thomas is the sane, rational, "normal" one.

Have you ever read the We Are Robin arc? Duke is fucking unhinged, his introduction was him jumping off a bridge to escape cops. This is a kid whose father is immortal and is the first metahuman in the batfam. He lost his parents in the most horrendous way possible (joker venom. They're still alive, but it's horrifying) and organised a whole gang as a child. He threw down with a green lantern and 2 shot his ass. Hopefully, this headcanon is just a product of people not really knowing the character and goes away soon once people find out more about him, when he isn't just the token black guy in a fic or a background character in batfam drama.

2. Stephanie Brown is quirky and sassy, and ONLY quirky and sassy. She's over her trauma with Black Mask and Cluemaster!!

Stephanie Brown is a very interesting character, with an origin story that is very similar to jason todd. She's been through hell, yet she constantly gets infantalised by the fandom, which gets kind of ignored in favour of talking shit about how people infantilse tim (super valid and I'll come back to it later on in this post). You most commonly see this in timsteph stories where they show her as the immature first love, and how as tim grows up, he needs to date more "serious" people, as if tim wasn't the main reason their relationship never worked. This is also common in stephcass fics, although on a smaller level. Writers tend to make stephanie the bubbly outgoing girl that balances out all of cass' angst (some of those fics are really good, but they mould steph in a specific shape so she can be a prop for cass to heal). On an even smaller scale, I've seen both romantic and platonic jaysteph stories where stephanie appears as the "good" victim who let go of her animosity to black mask and cluemaster, and so now, she can help jason let go of what happened with the joker, and bruce's abuse. Obviously, this is a disservice to both of these characters, but people tend to focus on how it's more of a disservice to jason instead of steph. Let my girl express her trauma and heal, and stop using her as a prop for other characters! She wasn't just cutesy as robin, she threw the fuck down. Her introduction included hitting tim in the head with a brick!

3. Slut/himbo Dick Grayson is reductive of his abilities as a leader, and is not only offensive to real survivors of SA, but incredibly racist towards Romani people.

Do I really need to explain this one? Dick Grayson is a symbol of hope that bruce wishes batman could be. This man is a natural born leader and has stepped up to the plate multiple times, both during his time with the titans and as batman. He's charismatic and lovable and a genuinely intelligent man, but for some reason, he gets depicted as a dumbass who has to deffer to bruce or tim or babs any time he has an issue with detective work. Yes, you can delegate. Of course, you can delegate, but going straight to tim and rattling off the case you JUST accepted doesn't make sense, ESPECIALLY if you're on seperate cases and tim or bruce have to postpone their work just to solve it for you. As for the other part, Dick has been heavily implied to be demisexual, given that he only has sex with people he has genuine feelings for. He wouldn't just sleep with any random woman who compliments his ass enough. Also, having an SA victim be characterised as a slut is both reductive of their trauma and a weird way that some authors justify how he's "over it." Really doesn't help that he was slut shamed (canonically!! why is this canon??) by the rest of the titans after sleeping with mirage, who pretended to be kori. Additionally, it's really weird if the first thing you think of when you see an attractive romani man just sleeps around. People don't say that about other conventionally attractive characters, even ones who HAVE slept around. The only character i can think of that gets characterised like this is bruce, but that's an image that he cultivated to keep batman hidden.

4. Jason Todd was always doomed by the narrative. He would have died if bruce hadn't intervened. Also, pit rage.

The tragedy of jason todd was, and always has been, that he was doomed by the AUDIENCE. He wasn't just an angry, reckless child, and calling him the angry robin is stupid and reductive. Was he angry? of course he was, but so was dick, and so was damian. Using a single word to describe a person is never going to be enough. Jason was notoriously compassionate to victims, especially women and children, and sex abuse victims. He got pissed when the system he was asked to believe in was shown to be ineffective, to the point where bruce believed he killed a man over it. The kid had a bright future ahead and loved school, modt of robin!jason's shitty qualities came from bruce and alfred compartmentaling his image and shitting on him to ease their guilt over his death. Pit rage is also a cheap way to take away his autonomy, an easy pass to explain the shitty things he's done. I like it when the pit has side effects like glowing eyes or increased healing or something, but pit rage is stupid. It's either used to force characters to forgive jason since he wasn't himself or as an angst prompt for jason, another testament to how he came back wrong, or a way to have him hurt a character to further up THEIR angst (*cough* titans tower AU fics*cough*). Yes, he did shitty things. Let him do shitty things without giving him an easy out. Otherwise, your story isn't compelling at all.

5. Feral Damian Wayne is just straight-up racist, no?

I love damian. I think that, for the most part, he's been written pretty well. However, damian suffers from the fact that he's an arab character in a post 9/11 comic, and thus there is bound to be some casual racism, both in comics (like when tim assumed he was too uncivilised to know what a handshake is) and fandom. Has damian wayne done a lot of shitty things, especially to tim? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't make him feral. He was raised by assassins as the heir to the throne and to the greatest hero in the world, raised to think that blood relations are the only ones that matter, so of course he's dismissive of tim. He's also a prince who was raised in luxury, who was born as royalty and has experienced more opulence during his birth thsn most peoole do in a lifetime, although this opulence is extremely conditional, with horrifying requirements (the story with damian having a metal spine as a child is insane). Does it make what he did to tim right? Definitely not. Does it excuse his actions? Also no. But it does explain them, it tells us where it came from. Being traumatised and having extremely high expectations of both sides of your family doesn't make you feral.

6. Tim Drake is just a small little baby who can't function without his coffee.

Let me preface this by saying that i don't like tim drake. At all. As a huge fan of the al ghuls it was a real kick in the balls having Ra's be reduced to a creepy pedophile who wanted tim as an heir, and sent a woman to rape tim in order to carry his child. Also, I hate how DC decided to prop him up by shitting on jason todd. However, this doesn't mean that I don't enjoy his YJ run and that I don't enjoy some of his comics/fics. That being said, nothing on this earth pisses me off more than tim stans. You know the ones, the people who want damian hanged, who want dick and jason and bruce to fall to their knees and beg for forgiveness. Tim has been through an insane amount of trauma, and that's understandable, but please, for the love of god, don't create more whump for tim at the cost of other characters. You can hate damian, I wouldn't blame you, but remember that he's like 10 and tim put him on a hit list. Dick never wanted to put tim in arkham, and he didn't have time to support tim when it came to an honestly insane (although ultimately correct) conclusion. Also damian as robin was alfred's idea, and damian was the one that put on the costume preemptively, dick got pissed at damian for that. When it comes to jason, I'd say it's complicated. While titans tower was fucked up, it wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. My first introduction to the fandom was through jason todd since he was my favourite robin, and then i learned they brought him back to life when i played injustice. The number of fics and posts that mention that jason went to the tower specifically to kill tim is insane. When i got into comics, it was like whiplash; it wasn't a one-sided beatdown, tim was conscious until the end, the goofy ass robin suit jason had on, jason never slitting tim's throat (that happens in hush, and even then i don't think he really slit his throat, since the art shows that the skin was kinda nicked), all of that was wild to me. BftC is one of the shittiest comjc book runs when it comes to characterisation in general, and I've already discussed dick and tim, so it's only fair to talk about jason and tim. There's no justification here, honestly, other than shitty writing i guess. The other side of the coin is enemies to caretaker jason and tim, which is so fucking wild?? they're like 2 years apart, and tim is extremely competent, he wouldn't pass out mid patrol because he forgot his coffee.

7. Bruce Wayne doesn't believe people can change and doesn't care about Crime Alley.

For the first one, please fucking read a single comic book. Just one. Better yet, maybe research why batman doesn't kill. You know, the most popular thing about him? As for the second, it's mostly just a way to show how jason is better than bruce and how he's right to take over the alley since no one cares about it. Now I LOVE jason todd. He's my favourite comic book character of all time tied with gambit and Dr. Strange. But I hate it when you create angst or comeuppance by blatantly ignoring the chatacter and their motives. Bruce became batman so that what happened to his parents can never happen again, and this includes helping the poor people in crime alley either through patrolling there or by setting up countless charities to improve life there. You can make the case that batman avoided crime alley after jason died. It's not canon, but it would make sense. However, I dont see him ever giving up on the alley, both to prevent what happened to his parents, and to help people like his dead son. I fucking hate bruce, he's done a lot of shitty things, but making shit up just to make him worse is getting old.

8. Misc

There aren't really enough mischaracterisations about cass and babs to warrant separate paragraphs, so I'll just reiterate the infantalisation of cass and babs having no qualities outside of oracle, master hacker, and dick grayson's on and off lover.

[olderthannetfic]

/olderthannetfic/769334704445997057/another-fandometrics-year-in-review-another-bevy

I am - genuinely - very sympathetic to the frustrations of solely f/f shippers and I DO think some people are a little too quick to shrug off the lack of f/f in fandom spaces with “lack of representation in media what can you do” when fandom is all about assigning personalities and backstories to one-line characters. HOWEVER. As someone who likes all kinds of ships, the experiences I have had across many MANY fandoms with solely f/f shippers treating people who also liked the main m/m ship as traitors and bad feminists, not to mention the number of people who have told me, a trans man, that I HAVE to write more f/f and less m/m For The Sisterhood, has made me LESS likely to engage in f/f, not more. Some of y’all are your own worst enemy when it comes to this stuff I swear. (Hashtag not all femslashers, hashtag some of my best friends are femslashers, etc)

--

Demands that people defend and explain perfectly commonplace things always end up generating dumber and dumber explanations.

I agree that that explanation by itself is kind of weak, but "Why are you asking only about AO3?" (as people often are) plus representation problems plus the other commonly cited reasons add up to a perfectly sufficient explanation. People just don't like what they're hearing.

--

The kind of f/f fandom people are often looking for—a by cis wlw, for cis wlw one—is not that different in size from the by cis mlm, for cis mlm one. They are both small.

Yes, I know they pretend that's not what they mean. They are lying. Possibly to themselves. Just look at the bawwwwing over the idea that cis men liking f/f could add to the amount of f/f art or the audience for the same.

Many AO3 slashers are better compared to transbian catgirls making lesbian furry porn or cis dudes horny for Buffy/Faith or something. There are plenty of people who care about f/f. They're just not necessarily the ~right~ people in the right spaces making the right art to count in some wanker's statistics.

Part of the reason our explanations and discussions always sound so bonkers is that we constantly compare apples to oranges.

--

And while we're at it, let's talk about that hoary old ~one-line character~ thing.

The reality is that we like to talk about how we elevate random walk-on characters, but the vast majority of shippy AO3 fanfic is about fairly major characters. Clint/Coulson was bizarrely popular in 2012. It has been twelve years. It is time to get over it.

On top of most things focusing on leads, the focus is often on characters who are given a lot of interiority. The audience is invited to be in their head and care about their feelings. People aren't usually good at analyzing film, so they use more familiar metrics involving text: how many lines do they have in the script? How many minutes does that translate to on screen? They don't know how to quantify a character being treated as an object to be looked at beyond "Booty shorts bad". But it's not general sex appeal or amount of skin on display that matters here.

As audiences, we respond to film grammar and "Just happen to like" or not like some character as a result of it, but we aren't aware of the mechanics, so we can't explain why beyond vague spluttering and "How dare you! Everyone should think this because it's the natural response!"

In general, media with multiple central women who have intense relationships with each other and who are conventionally attractive generate plenty of interest in f/f. Media with one hot girl who has the camera trained on her ass all the time while the men do everything interesting usually don't.

It's a no brainer and the harebrained explanations come from trying to look deeper to find the secret conspiracy where there is none.

--

The biggest mistake of most of this dumb discourse is "But I see all these queer women here. Why isn't there more f/f?"

This presupposes some default "normal" level of f/f without any actual justification for why that would be expected. You see the same nonsense from people going "Why is there so much m/m?"

What's the default? 10% because of the fake statistic that 10% of people are gay? 75% because action movies are sausagefests and all the important relationships are between men? What's the "normal" level of femslash? 25% because f/f, f/m, m/m, and gen are all equally valid? 80% because lots of fanfic writers are women?

Chasing one precise number is a fool's errand, but building a whole theory on the idea that there's an implicit number without even digging into that assumption is more foolish still.

When you look at the fanfic (or art!) spaces that are full of dudes, they often look like a bit of a mirror of AO3. Lots of het still. Lots of f/f. Lots of lady blorbos people are obsessed with. Limited m/m. Depending on the space, there might be a lot more gen. It's not perfectly 1:1, but then AO3 isn't precisely like other chick-heavy fanfic spaces anyway.

--

In my experience, the thing that makes a blorbo take off is that they're fairly major in canon, often driving the narrative even if they aren't the main protagonist, and they show up early.

In the cases where they weren't there at the very beginning, them showing up was the catalyst for fans who like this type of character to get into the canon at all. It's not just Castiel: you see it with Methos from Highlander and plenty of others. It's usually in a context where that fandom didn't have that much established for this type of fan. There wasn't a second dude to pair the lead with or the ship turned some people off or something. Highlander, for example, had fucktons of het shippers, both of canon het and of various OFCs and canon dudes. It was the slashers who stampeded over there when friends told them there was new ship potential for m/m. SPN... Sam/Dean was very popular on LJ, but I think it's obvious why a viable non-brother ship was of interest to people. I watched tons of people get pimped into Teen Wolf for Sterek. Of course they ended up liking it and not really caring about other ships: they were pre-selected to like that specific vibe. (And they are all wrong because Scott is the best and Derek has weird teeth.) The same thing happens with f/f. People get into media all the time because they're promised such-and-such a ship dynamic.

Wynonna Earp had plenty of people who were there for the women because the women are who matter for the most part. People were super into the canon f/f because it's hot and because it didn't seem like they were just going to get hit by a bus and shooed out of the narrative.

How many things that everybody and their sister saw have that many main women who matter? Some, definitely, but they're outnumbered by the sausagefests and by the things with very central het. Not everything with a huge audience gets a big fanfic fandom, but most things with big fanfic fandoms do have a big audience. You need critical mass to make a fandom happen.

Something like MCU has a variety of tasty shipping options, but the characters it spent all its time on first were the small selection of guys fandom cares the most about. When other characters were established very early, they also had an early spurt of fandom. I can't be the only one who remembers Pepperony fandom on LJ. It wasn't just people tagging canon ships in the background: Pepper/Tony shippers were a whole thing.

Yes, there are exceptions, but we make a big deal of them while ignoring the overall pattern.

Again, it is time to get over Clint/Coulson, Arthur/Eames, and people hallucinating that Hux had a personality in that first movie.

These are rare exceptions, and they're all snark-based at that. Darcy Lewis was also obnoxiously popular based solely on a few lines of snark, but that didn't count because she wasn't the correct and virtuous choice of favorite female character.

(Seriously, you should have seen the whining about all the people horny for Darcy who didn't give a fuck about boring Jane. Sorry, but your blorbo is a snooze and mine has amazing tits in addition to being funny.)

--

Let's go look at what's big on AO3 since it's easy and that's what other lazy statistics compilers do and then base their whining on:

Looking at the M/M tag, here's the sidebar:

Castiel/Dean Winchester (111856)

Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (70823)

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski (70134)

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson (67796)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers (61397)

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) (56548)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (55109)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (49179)

Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku (46679)

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (44754)

I'm seeing canons with huge audiences. Teen Wolf and SPN are way more popular in fanfic fandom, relatively speaking, but they're certainly not obscure media.

I'm seeing a lot of leads. Sirius/Remus does stand out a little: they aren't walk-ons, but fanon did elevate them. Same with Draco, but main protagonist/most obvious nemesis is hardly a surprising ship type.

Let's play with exclude filters and see what's next (numbers won't be exact since this is via excluding the previous batches):

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (43234)

Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji/Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian (40115)

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V (38398)

Keith/Lance (Voltron) (32757)

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) (32744)

Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester (31834)

Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) (31527)

Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) (31011)

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter (30819)

Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (30133)

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson (27403)

Original Male Character/Original Male Character (26854)

Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou (26854)

Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin (26454)

Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov (26453)

Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF) (21154)

Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion (20946)

James T. Kirk/Spock (20716)

Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin (20561)

Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet (20113)

Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru (20039)

Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio (18806)

Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel (18013)

Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier (17577)

Dan Howell/Phil Lester (17518)

Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager (17404)

Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know (17390)

Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou (17141)

Tartaglia | Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact) (17041)

Harry Potter/Severus Snape (16773)

Oh look: more leads.

Sure, there are some little oddities, like the fact that taekook is obviously the worst BTS ship and it is a personal attack on me that it is that popular. But come the fuck on: this is a parade of some of the most famous musicians and most popular anime, shows that had huge audiences and particularly huge audiences of the type that like fanfic.

Let's have a look at f/m:

Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug (33773)

Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy (33031)

Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s) (29586)

Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (24192)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (21606)

James Potter/Lily Evans Potter (21088)

Kylo Ren/Rey (16028)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader (15922)

Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley (15635)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (15335)

Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (14552)

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully (14214)

Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin (13616)

Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson (11471)

Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak (11383)

Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan (11272)

Castiel/Dean Winchester (11187)

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added (10529)

Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov (9750)

Original Character(s)/Original Character(s) (9736)

Okay, it is AO3 after all, so some m/m ships have snuck in there, but the general trend is still leads, leads, leads, now with some readerfic. (For James/Lily, you can blame the insanity that is Marauders fandom on TikTok, or so I hear.)

And f/f:

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (21520)

Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s) (17873)

Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan (16168)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (13681)

Clarke Griffin/Lexa (12876)

Adora/Catra (She-Ra) (11532)

Amity Blight/Luz Noceda (10880)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (10532)

Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends) (8925)

Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long (7766)

Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler (7369)

Korra/Asami Sato (7146)

Wednesday Addams/Enid Sinclair (6720)

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added (6684)

Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught (5764)

Original Character(s)/Original Character(s) (5529)

Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell (5347)

Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein (4895)

Jirou Kyouka/Yaoyorozu Momo (4662)

Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggie (4402)

Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan (4284)

Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer (4223)

Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam (3936)

Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova (3876)

Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca (3700)

Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva (3689)

Castiel/Dean Winchester (3664)

Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price (3471)

Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs (3394)

Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee (3324)

Carmilla might be a little obscure compared to some media, and some other ships have snuck in here, but again, we're seeing some fairly prominent canons and the leads or at least main cast who have intense relationships in those canons. If most fantasy tv shows were Once Upon a Time, all of AO3 might be awash in nothing but swanqueen and captainswan.

The big thing that one sees is simply that f/f fandom often revolves around different media, while m/m and f/m are more likely to be into the same stuff that's full, full, full of main dudes getting to do things with one woman who matters.

We do not, in general, elevate anybody.

Not unless some very talented writer leads the way first with a juicy longfic that establishes all the fanon.

We repeat the myth that we do because it suits a certain narrative about how creative and transformative fandom is—and another equally popular narrative about how the lack of ship A/B is a ~conspiracy~ to rob one of one's rightful overflowing feed trough of fic.

It's bullshit.

We write about leads.

[uravitypng]

𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞

pairing: best friend! eijiro kirishima x innocent chubby reader

word count: 1.3k words

"you know kiri i've never been kissed before," you tell him quietly when you're watching a kissing scene come on the tv.

kirishima thought he knew everything about you, he knew you were innocent and pure but he was sure you must have been kissed once, you were both well in your 20s at this point. "how?" kirishima asks matching your volume.

"well is it really that surprising? i've never been in a relationship or anything and i've never been to many parties to randomly kiss people. i'm not really a party person and whenever i do go to parties i stay with you the whole time and i don't drink at all." you lean your head against him and link your arm around his.

"i guess it's not that surprising..." he trails off at the end.

"yeah, plus i don't really know a lot of people and i'm pretty sure you scare people off. you're so big it probably freaks them out, thinking that you'll fight them or something," you say while giggling.

kirishima grins, he would never admit it but he has intentionally scared some people off. in his eyes they don't deserve you so he purposely increases your already physical friendship and touches you more so they know you're off limits or he purposely stands really close to them which makes them back away when they realise how huge he is and how if they got on his wrong side he could absolutely destroy them. because, in the end, you're too good for them, too pure and kind and wonderful and they don't deserve you.

"it's okay that you've never kissed anyone. you shouldn't kiss someone random, like if you're at a party and drunk or something. you should kiss someone you should trust," kirishima reassures you.

"like you?" if kirishima was in the middle of having a drink he would of spat it out. his back straightens, and his cheeks go red. his adorable best friend just cocking her head to the side and asking him such a loaded question so cutely.

"what- what do you mean?" he slightly stumbles over his words but you don't notice.

"well... who was your first kiss."

kirishima slightly deflates, he then realises of course you'd never ask a question like that to him. you don't think of him like that. you just want to know if his first kiss was special and with someone he trusted. "not quite, it was a dare when i was 11? or 12, maybe? i kissed mina, mina ashido. she was in our class when we were kids, you remember her right?"

you disliked that and you went sour, out of all people why did it have to be her, of course kirishima would like her, who wouldn't, she's everything you're not though and it reminds you how you'll forever be just his friend. she's an extrovert and extremely brave and thin and conventionally attractive, you're not.

kirishima notices the way your body shrinks in on yourself and how your expression has changed. "are you alright sweetheart?" you nod your head and hum, maybe to everyone else it would be convincing but not to him.

you don't know how you do it but you gather another confidence for just a second to ask him a question that you wanted to ask him originally a couple minutes ago. "i trust you." you look down, unable to look at him in eye or even his face.

"yeah, i trust you too," he replies cautiously unsure about what you're going on about.

"well...you said my first kiss should be with someone who i trust," you say while twiddling your fingers.

kirishima's mouth becomes suddenly dry as he now realises what you're talking about. "that would be very unmanly of me. i don't think you really want that sweetheart," he says reluctantly, he wants you to mean it but he thinks you don't.

as soon as you hear him you look up frantically because if he's being honest when he said that it means he didn't deny you or your request but denied that you actually wanted him. you grab hold of his arm and look him in the eye. "no, no that's not true! i want you!" kirishima's eyes widen at your raised voice and how you're shaking his arm, he can't help but grin at your reaction.

"alright sweetheart," he can never say no to you, he never wants to and now he'll actually be able to kiss you. to do the thing he's been dreaming about for years.

"holy shit, really?"

kirishima bursts out laughing. "yeah." you give him a soft smile and momentarily bury your head in his chest before looking up at him and giving him an even bigger smile.

"so um, what do we do?" you question shyly while kirishima grins at your cute naivety.

kirishima tucks some of the strands of your hair behind your ear, "you can close your eyes if you want. just close your eyes and relax, i'll do the rest." you mumble out an okay and flutter your eyes close.

kirishima gently holds your cheek in his hand and presses your foreheads together. you can feel his callus hands on your skin and it's making your face heat up at the contact. his other hand rests on the nape of your neck, keeping you both close to one another. he presses your lips together in a sweet kiss that makes you melt into him and it makes you both dizzy in the process. he can smell your pretty perfume and his shampoo is overwhelming your senses. he smiles against your lips and pulls you even closer.

your arms are stiff and slightly raised in the air and your fists are clenched, not knowing where to put your hands. as the kiss carries on you press your lips harder against his, wanting more. kirishima takes the hint and gently bites your bottom lip causing you to gasp. you're unsure of what to do but kirishima takes charge and you make out until you both have to break away for air before going in to kiss again.

he groans as you slip your tongue against his. "fuck," he groans roughly as he lifts you on his lap. you make a small shriek at the movement and he chuckles. all he can think about you, your lips, your face, your body, you. he runs his hands along your body, holding your love handles and grabbing chunks of your plush thighs. he can't help but place wet kisses against your neck causing you to gasp again and hold onto his arm, making crescent moon shape indents with your nails.

at the noise kirishima holds onto your chubby cheek again and stops kissing you, you open your eyes and look up at him. "how was your first kiss sweetheart?"

"i'm pretty sure that was more than just a first kiss kiri." you giggle back at him.

"well excuse me for kissing the woman i love," he says cheekily with a huge grin on his face.

"who you what?" you both freeze. you press your lips together in a tight line to try to stop yourself from smiling and he turns the same shade as his hair.

he bites his own lip trying to figure out what to do. he doesn't know what he can do to get out of this but he knows that no matter what happens you'll always remain friends, you'd never stop being his friends because he loves you.

"i do... i do sweetheart. i love you. i know you don't feel the same and that's okay." your eyes start watering and tears start running down your face, he quickly wipes the tears away and rushes out, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you sad."

you grab hold of the collar of his shirt afraid that he'll change his mind and leave. "i'm not sad. i'm happy, so terribly happy." you pause as you take in a breath, trying to stop crying. "i love you so much."

[fiddlehead-soup]

I have to see "Illithids don't have souls, Withers confirms it" utilized as some kind of gotcha 50 times a day and every single time I have to fight down the urge to waste time explaining that he admits he was wrong about this and/or affirms that the illithid you bring to the final battle still pings as who they were originally to him because I'd have to do it a dozen times a day forever. Why do people want soulless illithids so badly? They get outright mad if you correct them. I'm so tired.

I've had friends and even randoms ask me why I like Emperor so much. Even when I go on a rant and list every single thing I love about them, and how cool of a character they are, and cite a ton of screenshots or texts, somehow people still joke that I was gaslit by Emperor, or their opinion simply does not sway at all. The best I ever did was to have my best friend say "I get why you like them, but I never could."

Unfortunately the game purposely leaves things unclear and folks see whatever they want to see in the thickness of the fog.

Nothing can be done about that, unless the Emperor somehow gets additional content down the road and even then, it's a gamble whether or not those writers are going to interpret Emps with depth.

My personal theory is that it might depend on someone's past experience/knowledge with illithids in DnD in general, and their first run of BG3. Since the game is such an immersive RP, I think people just get really caught up in feeling 'betrayed' by Emperor in most cases, and hold on to that negativity.

Why people's opinions seem to never change even when it's proven they are factually incorrect, I honestly can't answer that, because I don't get it, either. I've had plenty of characters in media I started out hating and then ended up loving. The stubbornness to despise Emperor is a new thing entirely I've never seen for any other character in pop media.

As for why Emperor is not popular in fandom specifically (Tumblr, Twitter, AO3, etc.) despite other characters who do much worse to Tav than them having huge fanbases, three words:

Not Conventionally Attractive

[datura-tea]

okey dokey! i just finished the fallout show! some Thoughts under the read more

tl:dr, the (bethesda) fallout vibes were definitely there. i liked it as a show on its own merits but as a part of the series canon... i'm mad, and that anger is kind of overriding the little i liked about it. overall maybe 2.5/5 stars and im being generous

things i liked:

visually, it's stunning - i could see scenes already being made into gifsets - the color grading is pretty good; even in dark scenes i could see and understand what was happening

the sets are soooo good!! costume design was alright too

title cards were fun and cute

they did some interesting stuff with the cultures of both vault 33 and the brotherhood of steel

they used the sound effects from the games :)

i liked the wastelanders!!! big npc and random encounter energy. i kind of want a whole show of just them. for example i love the marketplace and settlement in filly; it feels very lived in

the background characters weren't just young thin able-bodied conventionally attractive white people :) there's so many elders, which i loved!! ma june and barv were cool. i love gruff old lesbians

lucy!!! she was already kind of weird and a little off-putting even in vault 33 ("what's your sperm count" as an opener to the husband she was just arranged married to is WILD) and i like that. she's sweet and bullheaded and surprisingly competent :)

maximus is kind of an ass, but is also a pathetic nerd and brotherhood dickrider who actually doesn't really know anything. kind of a girlfailure

the ghoul was pretty cool too!! i liked him, though more for his prewar story than the one he has post-apocalypse

lucy's brother norman kinda grew on me. "i lack enthusiasm for every job that i do here" so relateable. also short king <3

THE DENTIST THAT BUYS TEETH. never thought that would be a Thing but now that i think about it, it makes sense

the monsters that we have were cool!! wish there had been more of them

MATT BERRY IS IN THIS!! i just really like him so i got excited :))

maximus and lucy's "wanna have sex?" talk LMAO

vault 4's various mutations!!

those giant unwieldy fuckass duffel bags that brotherhood squires lug around hahahhahahaaha

vault 4 and its genetic experiments because its main conceit is that it was ruled by scientists who hybridized humans. it's exactly the right amount of fucked up i want in a vault

i like that the protagonists regularly get captured and eat shit

FRED ARMISEN IS ALSO HERE

haha hacking minigame :) also chatting via terminals (and im assuming pipboys?) is canon now

they're growing crops in the wasteland + bustling trade + livestock + pets yay

robobrain was cute

things i was just ok with:

dane, the they/them brotherhood of steel aspirant who was fucked over so maximus can get their spot as a squire LMAO what a waste of a potentially cool character

IT'S SO FUNNY that there's yodelling whenever the ghoul comes into the scene ????? WHY

fight scenes.... pretty good but someone definitely had the bloody mess perk (i don't do well with gore so ew yucky). also lots of [VATS NOISE]

pipboy was not used as much as i thought it would be

cousin stuff... i get it, i guess in a vault you'd have a lot of cousins and not a lot of choice, so some incest would probably happen

the ghoul being vault boy's inspiration?? not sure what to feel about that tbh

the casual dismemberments... and equally casual attaching of limbs... not even prosthetic limbs.....

the vaulties eating good healthy well-balanced meals. giving out caviar in the welcome basket. kinda 50/50 on it

the vault 31 - 32 - 33 subplot couldve been more fucked up

have brotherhood knights always been celibate or did i miss the memo

there are regular chickens and... deer? for some reason?

the ghoul's design. it's fine in action but mostly it's meh

the vault 4 cult for moldaver

vault 4 as a refuge for shady sands survivors. im mad about it but like. i get it

that guys "elixir" (some altered jet??) fixing everything about thaddeus' foot instantenously AND GIVING HIM HEALING POWERS???

things i did not like:

lucy's plot premise is very much fallout 3 redux

lucy and maximus as a ship is very meh and kind of forced and not compelling. go give us nothing!!!

wilzig's head as a macguffin that everyone is after... ehh kind of just okay as a plot device

also the ghoul randomly eating that other ghoul???

the squire who bullied maximus calls himself fat but he isn't fat?? not even chubby??? hello????? just got a soft face

water chip being fucked feels very fallout 3 also but they kind of dropped it?

they definitely named cooper howard after todd. as tribute probably, which he doesn't deserve

fiend = cannibal now?????

maximus recognizing vault 4 as a cult but not recognizing the brotherhood as one lol

vault tec evil capitalism vs hollywood communists storyline was kind of basic. and bland. and weak

the enclave could've been established + explored better

no geckos or any other west coast-specific monsters

showing me ncr ranger armor when the ncr is gone

ghouls have healing powers?? WITHOUT RADIATION??

things i hated hated hated:

the ghoul needing drugs to combat the Disease That Turns Ghouls Feral

feral ghouls being basically zombies :/

IN EPISODE FIVE. THEY REVEAL. THAT SHADY SANDS. WAS BOMBED. THE ENTIRE NCR. WAS BOMBED. IN 2277. THE YEAR OF THE FIRST BATTLE OF HOOVER DAM

BASICALLY RETCONNED FNV?? IM PUTTING MY EARS IN MY FINGERS AND GOING LA LA LAAAAA

VAULT-TEC DROPPED THE BOMBS ???? BIG MT + MR HOUSE BEING IN ON IT????

THE BIG STUPID FUCKING REVEAL IN EPISODE EIGHT?? THAT THE OVERSEER BOMBED SHADY SANDS BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH HIM??? FUCK THAT???

the brotherhood being the main faction of the west coast now. booo!! booo!!!!

the fucking last shot of new vegas being a burnt out husk. probably foreshadowing that hank is going to house's body but. UGH I HATE IT

to summarize: it came out strong! and stumbled hard falling face fucking first at the finish line. i would have liked it a lot more if it did not shit on the west coast as much as it did. because what the FUCK. if it was set literally anywhere else and left the ncr alone i would have liked it more, because on its own, as a self-contained story, divorced from the rest of the fallout series canon, it's not bad!!! it's fun, there's some good bits, it has the ~vibes~ but - and this is a big but - i don't know what it's trying to say. it's all very surface level and the very vague themes i picked up on are not really reiterated in the plot

it's like... the bits that make it fallout are there. vaults. the brotherhood. ghouls. a dog named dogmeat. but there's something lacking. it's like your usual sci-fi post-apocalypse show with a fallout veneer. idk. i like it for what it is but also i hate it for what it's emblematic of. that's all

[amf-studios]

Hello. Please answer this. I think it's important these get adressed. me and others of this community have been getting uncomfortable with some of your art. While I see nothing wrong with the Fankai, the rest of it has caused issues for people. First, there is the Natsuki fanfic. While I personally don't have much issue with it, there are some who feel very uncomfortable with their comfort character (Nate) Being changed in such a drastic way, and believe a separate community should be made for that art, as some people have gotten to the point of self harm from seeing their comfort characters changed so much. Next, there is uncomfortable undertones to your "Damonate" Fanfic. It seems very "Loli" esque, with a childish hundred year old woman being with a child. Then there is the sexual undertones to some of the natsuki art, particularly the maid outfit with Arachnia. This is to some extent sexualization of a minor. Then, there is the inequality in the amount of transmasc and transfem characters you draw. 90% of your characters that are trans are transfem, and barely any are transmasc. Then, finally, there is the softcore Arachnus and Toadal Dude art. While nothing is showing, it is very clearly provocative and you have a mostly minor fanbase. I believe that art should be on a separate account.

If you could adress these, it would be good. Thank you.

OK, guess we're doing this.

I've heard a decent few people say they find my natsuki au uncomfortable. I will only say this: no one is making you interact with this content. If you don't like it, just scroll.

I haven't heard anything about the self harm until now, but in my honest opinion; "self harm over someone else doing fanon stuff with a fictional character is indicative of a much larger issue." I say this not to undermine the struggle with self harm, as I have dealt with it myself in the past, but I cannot stress this enough, a random person on the internet's visual fanfiction should not be cited as the reason for that.

Onto the damonate issue. The yokai watch Fandom needs to realize it is a Canon fact "YOKAI DO NOT AGE THE SAME AS HUMANS"

Toiletta is 70 and still a little girl, enma is 60 and acts like a teenager til about shadowside. It is clear that the immortality of being a yokai affects how one matures, so their chronological age does not automatically make them an adult.

And with Damona, she is arguably *very much a child.*

The only time in the games where she is actually treated as a character, she is primarily characterized as a daddies girl who feigned being emotionless in order to get her dad to spend time with her. 2

(I have not seen any full episode of her in the anime, but what I have seen doesn't really disprove the above point.)

On top of that, damona received a redesign in shadowside, the sequel series where Nate himself is an adult.

And it is incredibly clear, she has also matured in this time skip. I don't know why she ages so much in 3 decades when she's at least 190 by the first game, but here we are.

Yokai age is inconsistent, but Damona is one of the more clear-cut examples of being a child.

Onto the maid point: yeah, kinda. I didn't really realize the unfortunate implications until *after* I posted the art. But I do feel that of any maid outfits I could have chose, I used some of the tamer ones as not a lot of skin is really shown on the drawing, or the characters I pulled them from. (The joke with Entoma is specifically that she *isnt* conventionally attractive)

Unfortunately maids in general have been sexualized to hell and back along with a number of other female specific outfits.

On the transmasc point: I actually agree. Mostly cause I use my own experience as a base for making content, and I just don't really have a lot of transmasc headcanons I jive with.

I have tried to rectify this with the oc Toransu being specifically a transmasc character, but I could definitely be doing more.

And on the final point: I will just make it clear here

I AM NOT HERE TO BABYSIT YOUR KIDS.

Social media generally has rules against those younger than teen years making accounts for a reason.

I know kids will lie about their ages to circumvent this, hell *I* did that when I was younger. But it still remains: it is a parents responsibility to track what their children are doing on the internet. Not the random fanartist who makes funky ghost content. If kids are coming across content I have explicitly flagged for my older audiences, that is the parent's responsibility.

I see no point in making a separate account for something I've basically only done once and don't really plan to do often. Even if I did, I've been told my style is very easy to recognize. Meaning by all accounts, I'd likely still hear someone bitching about me doing it.

And while it wasn't a point in this comment, I might as well address it: it's been brought to my attention that people are evidently accusing me of being "a proshipper"

I have never been able to actually understand that whole "pro vs anti" debate, and every attempt to get an answer has just left me confused.

All I will say on that is incest and pedo shit is gross. Apart from that, ship whatever you want, and for fucks sake don't get on people's case for ships you don't like for no reason. There are better uses of your time.

Sorry for the full rant.

[thechibilitwick]

more ramblings that sit in my drafts for an unspecified amount of time before i eventually decide to finish and post them!!! (also sorry if someone has already done an analysis like this i just thought it was an interesting detail)

today I shall go over what I believe the woman that Kazui is seen with in Half is supposed to represent. (+ some general analysis)

This lady is basically the reason why the entire cheating theory existed in the first place, and understandably so. But after his T2 voice drama, Kazui confirms that he never actually cheated (also his wedding ring is. right there. on his finger. man.) If that's the case, then who is this woman? If he didn't cheat, why would a random woman be in his MV? I actually think the answer might not be that complex:

The woman simply represents women.

For one, there are two other side character in the MV besides this lady: Hinako and the bartender. Moreover, both of those characters have a significant difference from the woman: they don't have a full set of facial features.

I personally believe that Kazui views them without eyes because they are people he finds painful to remember. Therefore, the woman still having her eyes visible would mean that she isn’t as significant as Hinako or the bartender.

Moreover, the way the woman is framed has a lot of implications.

The first scene establishes a correlation with the lady and Hinako. Both scenes are framed similarly, and both have Kazui staring at them. (with the same "i'm such an old man. yaoi." look on his face idk how else to describe it) The only difference is that there are two different versions, or sides, of Kazui.

Kazui in the bar, suit and all, has been heavily implied to represent his “true desires”. He's the one that notices Kazui watching from the audience and makes him notice the apple, and the one who appears in the champagne glass in Cat.

Kazui in the house, less dressed-up than bar Kazui, likely represents how he believes he should act. He looks upset over the distance between him and Hinako and he’s the one who's shocked upon realizing his actual feelings.

With this in mind, the transition between both women has implications on the way Kazui views them and in turn how he views women (in terms of his desires vs. what's expected of him.)

The second scenes then implies what it specifically is that both sides of Kazui feels about women.

The first scene starts off with Kazui in the house, staring down at his wedding ring with a sizable distance between him and Hinako.

Then the scene shifts to Kazui in the bar, where the woman is probably drunk, and leaning onto him with possible hints of intimacy. Yet he ends up putting the woman aside.

This is where what the lady possibly represents becomes a bit more clear. Similar to Magritte's art (which Kazui's MVs regularly reference), the woman is not a literal woman, but the representation of a woman. Kazui pushing away the woman as his desired 'true self' could mean he doesn’t feel the need to comply to the expectation of being attracted to or in a relationship with a woman.

Both scenes also contrast each other. The distance between Kazui and either woman as well as the way he reacts to said distance are the opposite. Kazui and Hinako have a considerable gap between them, and he feels guilty for this because of the expectation of being in a (heterosexual) marriage. Despite believing that this is what's 'correct' and what'll lead to happiness, he's still somehow failing.

Kazui and the bar lady have practically no space between them, yet Kazui is able to put her aside because he doesn't feel the need to conform. Even if she's conventionally attractive and is being intimate with Kazui, he quite literally does not give a shit.

Ok this is kinda getting wordy so I shall close off here. tl;dr I personally think the bar lady serves the purpose of symbolizing women, marriage, and maybe even heteronormativity, in order to express Kazui's conflicting views. Maybe I'm actually wrong and she really is an existing person, but uhh hey the themes still hold up in regards to Kazui soooo

(also it's possible that the woman is purposely between him and the bartender in both scenes, because societal norms still get in his way of his actual feelings or smth idk i can't word anymore)

anyways that's all i hope this makes sense 🥹

[horizon-verizon]

Nettles is Daemon’s daughter and absolutely no one can convince me otherwise. First of all, her personality is incredibly similar to Daemon’s mother, Alyssa, which I don’t think is a coincidence. Both are anything but refined and ladylike, Alyssa is “as bawdy a wench as any barmaid in King’s Landing, as she herself was fond of boasting”, Nettles is “a filthy girl with an even filthier mouth”, both are tearaway tomboys, they are both described as not conventionally attractive, Alyssa has a broken nose and mismatched eyes while Nettles has a scarred nose and crooked teeth. And not only Alyssa, but also Baelon’s bravery, bopping Balerion on the nose, Baela and Daemon’s personalities all echo in Nettles, particularly in how she tames Sheepstealer. There are too many similarities between them for it to be random.

Second of all, if we look at Daemon’s reaction to “Rhaenyra’s” letter, there’s something a lot of people miss:

The prince greeted me politely, but as he read I saw the joy go from his eyes, and a sadness descended upon him, like a weight too heavy to be borne. When the girl asked what was in the letter, he said, ‘A queen’s words, a whore’s work.’

He was happy when he got a letter from his queen and wife, but became very sad when he read its contents, he was crushed with grief. He then blamed Mysaria for the content of the letter. This reveals several things:

1. If he lost attraction to Rhaenyra and was cheating on her, why would he be happy to get her letter ?

2. If he didn’t care about Rhaenyra, why would he be sad instead of angry ? Why did he feel no guilt or shame, or try to cover up the truth if he was cheating ?

3. If all he wanted to do was control Rhaenyra as a puppet, if he only cared about himself having power, why didn’t he fly back to King’s Landing after letting Nettles escape and come up with a way to gaslight Rhaenyra, who at this point was beginning to lose her handle on King’s Landing ? Wouldn’t he have wanted to prioritize winning the war ? Persuade Rhaenyra to name their son Aegon heir instead of Joffrey ?

4. A “weight too heavy to be borne.” That isn’t the reaction of a man who got caught cheating and regrets it, it’s the reaction of a man devastated that his queen and wife lost faith in him and made him choose between her and his daughter.

He blames Mysaria for the letter, instead of getting angry at Rhaenyra herself. Why is that ? Because he lived with Rhaenyra in an unconventional joint family for a decade and yet Rhaenyra is unable to accept Nettles and doesn’t trust him anymore. Rhaenyra and Daemon raised all of their children together. He likely expected that he’d be able to officially introduce Nettles as his daughter after the war. But those plans were dashed terribly.

Yeah, it's exhausting to point out all of the things you say abt Mysaria, Nettles, and Daemon time and time again over the past few years to people. As for Nettles being Daemon's bio daughter, I truly believe in it. At first I was like "🤨" but then "🤔" and now I've been on board for a while. It just makes sense to me, esp when you contemplate that Daemon absolutely would have been sleeping around on Rhea while a few feet/miles from the Stepstones or slept with some pirate or whatever. And yes, it adds so much to see Nettles act Baela-Daemon-like or have more...room to behave contrary to the ideal "lady" when she's had to look out for herself perhaps from very young childhood.

[crowdeerdire]

Incredibly stupid Our Life AU - Ribfest

Background: Where I live there's an event going on called "Ribfest" where a ton of vendors come out, selling, as you can guess: ribs! It's really good! But... to get people interested in their stalls, they have 'conventionally attractive' people standing out front, wearing tank tops and shorts and handing out samples (mostly BBQ sauce to get you interested in their products). Because I'm a silly little goose, my mind went to: 'what if the OLBA boys were those conventionally attractive people standing out front to get people to try their BBQ'... Synopise: OLBA boys volunteer their time to help a friend in a rib competition by attracting customers to their stands with samples. (would take place in Step 4 after all the events for the sake of y'all being friends!)

Cove

Would be generally comfortable in the outfit (reminder: tank tops and shorts because it's hot af outside, but also designed to attract the customers ;) ), but trying to persuade passer-bys to try the sample would be hard at first

We know he can do that kind of stuff because he volunteers for ORCA and he's done it in the past for the funraising event

BUT

this time he knows the concept around why he was choosen and is dressed up like this

he's eye candy to get people to try BBQ

If he got to do it with someone else (i.e. Derek or MC) I think he would relax a bit more and maybe get into it, especially by Step 4 I see him a lot more comfortable in his own skin

If he was working with Baxter, I think he would still be awkward af (you'll see in a minute)

but if he's left on the front lines all by himself, he would be blushing and awkwardly standing there as people check him out and the booth he's working at

might be sweating bullets

get this man some WATER before he passes out

but since he did volunteer he would try his best and be geninuely friendly, I think? 'No pressure if you don't wanna try! But you should!! It's really good!!' *smiles*

btw would go 10x as red and be 10x as awkward if MC whistles and cat calls him (as a joke)

in the end he would try his best!

Baxter

Step 4 Baxter would get into it

Maybe a little embarrassed by the concept at first, knowing why he was choosen as eye candy to get people to try BBQ, but it wouldn't take him long to get into it

he understands a good business opportunity when he sees one

I think he would really get into it

like giving people a sly wink and a smirk

urging them to come over with his nice voice, almost purring

like I think this man is smooth when he's just playing

when he's not and genuinly likes someone, he's awkward af (but that's another story)

I think he would also be really good at remembering repeat customers??

like he would know why they're coming back, but would still play with them and be like 'Oh, how wonderful~ You came back for more?' with a smirk and a wink

making people giggle and blush

If he's working with the others I think he would play off them well, even try to help someone as nervous as Cove to relax a bit (or a nervous MC)

In the end I would think he would somehow find himself in the back, running the show rather then being up front. Somehow - even if he doesn't really know the friend he's helping. He just has good business sense

Derek

Derek is mister sunshine

If he's been asked to help, even if it's from a distant friend, he's putting 110% effort into it

Embarrassed by the concept of why he's dressed that way/put on display... BUT!!

he still tries REALLY hard

I think he would be the type that's kind of loud - cheering and getting people's attention?

But if that was getting a bad reaction (depending on the crowd) he would be calm and super nice, like Cove. Not wanting to pressure you into trying the BBQ, but SUPER excited when you do

If he got a sale because of his samples, he would high five who ever he's working with - or maybe a random stranger lol

he's just such a happy go lucky guy on the outside (although we all know the truth... but shush...)

working with others he would get really pumped up - especially with Cove and MC

Might be awkward with Baxter at first but I honestly see them getting along???

tbh Derek will just be a great sales person

big hype man

a/n: Hi, this is dumb but I couldn't get this out of my head and being really into Our Life lately has gotten me wanting to write again.. :))) Maybe I'll write more? Also I apologize if any of the characters seem OOC or anything. I was really trying to get them down right, but idk :))))

dividers by: @/cafekitsune

[soulfullives]

since people are asking for them, here are my unpopular marauders opinions

(note, and i mean this in the most serious way: please, for the love of god, if you don't agree, just scroll. there is no reason to cause drama over some unpopular opinions of some random tumblr user just because you don't agree with me.)

remus is my least favorite character. don't get me wrong, i love him to bits, he's just the least intriguing to me. he's the character we've been given most of; not only that, i find sirius and james' character, as well as peter's (and his betrayal), as far more interesting

i don't really like jegulus for the same reason as remus; the dynamic is interesting, there is a lot to work with there, including the death eater and order member dynamic, but i just find some ships as more interesting

most of the characters are written as super one-dimensional and therefore i do not like most fandom characterizations which is a crucial point, to me, in whether i read the fic. i like fics in which the characters are written as real people, with human emotions and flaws, and not some qualities thrown together

some wolfstar shippers are pretty much the most annoying people in fandom (coming from a wolfstar shipper). shipping the only consistent ship in this fandom does not make you inherently better than everyone else, and just because someone else splits wolfstar for other ships dynamics does not mean anything

the black sisters and the evans sisters, if written well, can be more interesting than the black brothers and i don't think we talk enough about them (i also find the black brothers are really interesting, and i need more fics in which the intensity of these dynamics are explored)

i dislike the main characterization of regulus in fandom, being a huge fan of morally grey regulus. however, each with their own characterization, and i'm no one to judge next. i find him to be a very interesting character, however, and i like fics that dive deeper into his character

people who ship jegulus and hate lily for no reason need to chill; furthermore, people who hate mary and lily for "getting in the way" of their mlm ships are... i'm not going to comment on this, but you probably know what i mean

"stan bambi" comments on snape videos are really annoying because the very same way we don't like (and sometimes get aggressive) over snape lovers attacking the characters we like, why are we doing that to other people?

i need more peter-centered fics, and i do not like him only being a sidekick or ignored. also, mary is also a very interesting character, and i don't think we credit her enough for it

dorlene > wolfstar

the girls are far more interesting than people make them out to be and i NEED an atyd-like fic (long canon compliant etc) from their povs. it's not a want, it's a need, and i might just write it myself, because i think that a fic like that has a lot of potential

dorcas is morally grey and i need more fics in which that is a thing

this might be my most unpopular opinion but i prefer lily to regulus; i find them both to be very interesting characters, but i find myself more drawn to lily

pretty privilege is REAL in this fandom. bet that if peter and snape were conventionally attractive, they would be as loved as evan, barty, and regulus

i do not see sirius as transfem but why do people have to be so pressed about this hc. lif you don't see it, shut up, move on with your day, and let people who see it do their thing; this fandom is TOO pressed about other people's hcs

i kind of dislike fanon james because they strip him of all humanity and emotions, and make him a ray of walking sunshine with no issues (hence my essay on it, which you can read here)

james would choose sirius over regulus any day

[kurczeno]

i love solas because he is one of the most prominent examples of media vs fanon

each time i see a fanart of his he is so yassified and i cant help but laugh bcs in game he looks like this fellas

my mom entered my room once when i had dai opened and immediately asked "why does he have pussy on his chin" which, i think, is a polish idiom used when someone has this like hole????? on their chin (tho to be fair i didnt notice this particular thing, my mom is just super rude. she once bullied a girl out of her school and the teachers are still scared of her, one of them she put in a hospital, but thats story for another time)

i mean, hes pretty ugly (meaning not conventionally attractive of course, because people have different tastes and shit). Which I actually rather like, because as a Solas ha... disliker, even I have to admit - when he suddenly flirts with you it's hot. Like the va is doing an amazing job + his confidence is quite attractive, considering the fact that usually we know him as this nerdy nerd. And now he's just like "I wanna dominate you :)" OUT OF THE BLUE? after telling you about some random shit abt the fade. I mean you're telling me this bald guy tm is more confident than, say, cullen?XD Who would a homeless, elvhen, apostate hobo practice on, fucking spirits? Mythal???? (oh sweet summer child)

And I like that about Bioware games, that many characters aren't traditionally attractive but that's not why people choose them. Garrus is literally a huge lizard?, Liara has tentacles on her head, Solas pic rel, Zevran I think was supposed to be conventionally hot? But theres something terrifying about him, idk, maybe the random amount of detail, in comparison to let's say, Leliana, Morri in the first game - same shit. Also what did they do to her make up jesus. Also Varric. For 13? years we see the community being absolutely insane about him, begging Bioware to let them romance him. And let's be honest, the Veilguard guy is yassified Varric (Solas too), that's NOT who they were horny for these 13 years ago (not me tho, I am loyal to Isabela. Still, I absolutely get you.)

So I started with the fanarts and I'll end with Veilguard, god bless ADHD. Bioware, leave my "ugly" companions alone ffs. I like them that way.

Also to be fair - i'm not exactly shitting on Veilguard here, or people making fanarts bcs

a) Inquisition did similar shit with Varric for example (Morri I think was supposed to be hot, but the graphics.......)

b) their drawing, their solas. I mean people like to "yassify" characters on fanarts (as my friend noticed, Fenris also usually has a more "basic" face on fanarts, and he already is quite "basic" in DA2) when they like the personality, it's pretty normal. Just a matter of preference, the way you imagine the character and, sometimes, not remembering the source material. So there's nothing wrong about that.

It's just that when I see hot solas fanarts/in veilguard I immediately remember the egg from the game

[iwannascreameurekaa]

I don't understand how any of the seven get so much hate. They all have amazing characteristics, designs, personalities, backgrounds, etc. 

so I'm gonna explain why they're all amazing

Yay

Percy

Percy is the main character to the first five books so he has the most information shown about him than the seven since we read from his point of view in pjo and the Olympians. His whole thing of loyalty is incredible and the things he risked to save people he barely knew made him an amazing protagonist. 

Annabeth

Hello??? I know she's smart but that's not her only characteristic. She's blinded by her own powers and doesn't know how to handle things thrown at her when she can only rely on her emotions which is amazing cause ME TOO GIRLY she's a badass who also went through so much during HOO 

Leo

Built a whole ass ship, was manipulated and controlled into KILLING HIS OWN MOTHER OMGS MY HEART, was always singled out and felt like he didn't belong, SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR HIS FRIENDS, and so much more!!!

Jason

This is where ima start defending for my life bc people who say Jason is boring don't understand his story. He was taken from his home, raised by wolves until he was around 2/3, raised the rest of his life until his was 16 in a camp where he was trained to be an actual child soldier, kidnapped and had his memory erased, watched his best friend DIE, and died for his other best friend !!! WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT????? OFC HES GOING TO BE BORING HE DIDNT KNOW WHO HE WAS OR WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

Piper

I will hold you by the shoulders and stare directly into your soul until you give me a good reason to hate Piper bc she did nothing wrong. She just wanted her father's love and she never got it so what happened? She was sent or a wilderness camp where she was also manipulated into believing a random boy was her bf which entirely messed her up and it took her MONTHS ALMOST A YEAR to realize that she didn't have the feelings she was lead to believe. THEN SHE SAW HER EX HER BSF DIE IN FRONT OF HER????? I WOULD BE RUINED AFTER THAT OMGS 

Hazel

Excuse me, didn't she DIE in the 1940s to prevent the world from ending, came back, only to have to save the world AGAIN??? Not to mention that fact that she was bullied and harassed all her life before and after her death. Before her death she was always treated like the devil bc of her curse, even by her own mother. Her mom even neglected Hazel which is something NO ONE SEEMS TO TALK ABOUT. Then she has an unknown brother save her from the underworld and have to completely rebuild her life from scratch. At new rome she still wasn't treated right and was left out and made out to be a weird girl just like her old life. Tbh if that was me I wouldn't be shaking crying every time I saw someone. Also she learned how to control the mist which is pretty fricking cool okay I love her 

Frank

Let's just point out the obvious first. The reason Frank is not one of the most loved characters is because he is/was chubby. I'll say it, that is the reason. If he was skinny/fit more people would love him. That's probably why Rick did the transformation thingy thing where Frank got all buff. Which sucks because Frank is incredible and having one of the only character that's not skinny or muscly or as conventionally attractive have to change to those things just to be slightly more popular is STUPID!!!! I'm not hating on Rick I'm honestly hating on the fans who didn't love Frank because of the fact that he was chubby, whether they knew that was the reason they didn't like him as much as the other seven or not. His story is incredible. His mom going to war and her dying made my heart break while reading. his entire life force being attached to a piece of wood, so easy to be burned to nothingness, is SO GOOD. His awkwardness is so refreshing to see when characters are often portrayed as nonchalant and cool when in reality we're all losers 😭 

Really, there's no real reasons to hate any of the seven. You can have favorites, I have my favorites of course, but putting the other seven down doesn't do anything. You're just an asshole. 

[gryphonlover]

I’m in a yapping mood so I’ve come to bother you (I’m so sorry), anyways here’s how I think the chain would play BG3:

Time- he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He falls for every trap and he accidentally kills characters he shouldn’t have because he trusted the wrong people. He definitely played the dark urge because he thought “that one looks interesting” but didn’t fully think that choice through, and he was TRYING to be a good person but he’s absolutely given into the evil thoughts by act 2. Doesn’t even realize romancing the characters is an OPTION until Lae’zel comes up to him like “i want you” and then he screams

Wars- He’s still stuck in character creator /j Fr tho he put HOURS into designing his tav and his created like, the most conventionally attractive mf out there (it’s definitely a paladin half high elf with that ONE specific face). He’d romance Wyll (best man in existence) or Lae’zel (terrifying lady). I’d say he plays it for the dating sim but he’s also INSANE and likes attacking people

Twi- He’d play a sweet little tiefling druid. He’s just there for the vibes, he just wants to pet the owlbear cub the rest of the game stresses him out (he’s a stardew valley kinda guy). He stays in the safety of act 1 and just runs around

Sky- he takes his bg3 incredibly seriously, he has over 700 hours. I think he’d be a cleric, every single time. He’s GOOD at combat, he’d good at building the characters, he loves exploring

Hyrule- Ranger. Romanced the emperor because he thought it was funny and then had a LOT of explaining to do when Legend saw he got a trophy for that. He just makes whatever he thinks the funniest choice would be

Legend- He’s one of the few who has the strength to play a different character every play through. He loves exploring the game and he’s romanced all the characters just to see how different they all are and he loves all their lore. Has more hours than Sky but pretends he doesn’t so he doesn’t get judged for being insane

Wild- Wizard or Sorcerer, either way he blows everything up. Pickpockets all the npcs for cash because he thinks its funny, makes HORRIBLE decisions because he’s curious to see what happens. Definitely doesn’t know you can pay Withers to revive people after they die-

Four- plays the exact same dragonborn fighter every single time, but each play through he does gets crazier and crazier until he’s making INSANE decisions and everyone gets the WORST possible endings, but he’s having fun and he likes being evil

Wind- he picked to be a sorcerer, but other than that he randomized everything else and ended up playing a hot pink gnome he named “Ronald”. He’s having the time of his life

-crazylittlejester

This is the best thing I've heard ALL DAY. I'm not kidding. (And you can bother me anytime. That's why the ask ox is open. 👍)

I have to admit, I had the same reaction as Time when I discovered the dating part, and I've never even played the game. 😅

11/10, totally agree. They would love D&D so much, my goodness. Someone needs to make an LU version of that one episode of VLD where all the paladins play a one-session campaign. It would be complete chaos.