#but why do y’all have to be super nice then just fall OFF just be an asshole from the jump it’ll make my life easier

[stuckinapril]

i’m literally done with men until the day i die

[comically-callous]

Sorry to bother you, but I saw your asks/requests were open, and saw that you write for Gambit, I read through your works and love how you write him! I was wondering if maybe you would be willing to do a drabble/ficlet with Gambit x reader? Where reader has ADHD and anxiety? Her mutant power is Empathy, but she only feels other's emotions; can't tell why they're feeling them, and the combo kinda makes her a people pleaser type who struggles to say no to things, so ends up with extra work from other people all the time, kinda burning the candle at both ends until she basically has a mental/physical breakdown? I just really wanna see Gambit being super loving/protective.

If you don't want to/it isn't in your wheelhouse, by all means just ignore me, sorry again to bother you! Have a great day/night!

We love a Gambit request 😋

Remy LeBeau x fem!mutant!Reader

Warnings: reader cries and also blames herself for all of her problems 😗✌️

A/n: Man, idk what to put here sometimes, y’all. Reader has a regular job (not an X-Man or anything). And uhh, um, erm requests are open 👍

This whole mess was your fault. All of it. All of the piled up work, and the deadlines you just knew you wouldn’t be able to meet, and the dread over knowing people would be disappointed in you, and your infuriating inability to say no; it was all your fault.

It was days like these when you wished you could get rid of your mutation. That way you might not be such a damn pushover. But, you couldn’t help it. People from work come into the office feeling a little down, and suddenly you��re offering to go get them a coffee, to make some copies for them, to sort out some files, and finish that research project they’ve been putting off. And in the moment, you can feel the happiness and relief radiating from them, and it makes you feel good. But, then you realize (too late) that it’s too much for you to get done in one workday.

Which led you to your current predicament. You were trying to get all of this work (which wasn’t even technically yours) done, but you also needed to get some work around the house done, and your mind couldn’t focus on one task at a time.

You reread the same paragraph for what felt like the eighteenth time, hardly making it past the second sentence before you had to begin rereading it again after your mind had wandered to your laundry that still needed cleaning.

And just when you’d gotten yourself to focus again, there were three knocks at your door. You groaned, letting your head fall to your hands for a moment before you got up and dragged yourself to the door. You looked through the peephole and saw your boyfriend Remy. He was all put together in a nice suit and tie, severely contrasting you in your pajamas with your hair a mess and makeup completely wiped away.

Your stomach sank and you completely froze. You’d forgotten. You’d gotten so caught up in wanting to please other people, that you’d forgotten about tonight.

You just stood at the door, unable to move as your heart began to pound and your throat began to feel tight. Remy knocked again, this time calling your name. You finally opened the door with shaky hands and almost immediately began to sob.

“Woah, woah!” Remy reached out and held you by your shoulders, his hold gentle yet steadying. “What’s wrong chère?”

“I-“ You choked out. “I forgot, Remy. I forgot about tonight.”

Remy had made reservations for the two of you at a fancy restaurant, one you’d been wanting to go to for a while. And you’d forgotten. He’d gotten dressed up all nice for you and it was for nothing, and you, like always, were to blame.

You continued to cry pathetically while Remy guided you over to sit on your couch. “Talk to me, chère.” He said as he gently took your hands.

“I-I forgot-“

“Gambit don’t care about that.” You let your head fall forward onto his shoulder where you continued to sob. “There’s something else, huh?” It was more of a statement than a question.

Sometimes you felt like he had some of your empath abilities as well, or at least some form of mind reading. He could always tell when something was wrong, or when someone was lying. Or maybe it was just with you. Either way, when he suggested that there was something else bothering you, you nodded against him.

“You wanna tell Gambit?”

You inhaled shakily before speaking again. “There’s just…. It’s so much- too much going on— Too much on my plate.” You said, struggling to find the words through your choked sobs and jumbled thoughts.

Remy hummed. This wouldn’t be the first time that you overwhelmed yourself with tasks and work that needed to be done. “Like what?” He asked. And he listened while you listed off all of the things at work that were bugging you and then all of the chores at home that only added to your stress, all the while he soothingly rubbed your back. And once you were finally done, he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. Your tears had come to a small occasional trickle rather than what felt like a flood a few moments ago.

“Tell you what,” Remy said as he began to pull away. “You rest here while Gambit helps.”

“What?” You asked as he put a blanket over you.

“Lay down. Gambit gonna get some of this outta your way, alright?”

You hardly had the energy to protest, and as you drifted to sleep, you could hear the soft whirring of your washing machine as Remy began doing your laundry for you.

You woke up an hour or two later to the smell cooking, and sat up to see Remy standing in your kitchen over the stove. You groggily got to your feet and walked over to him, hooking your chin over his shoulder to get a look at what he was cooking.

“You get good rest?” Remy asked as he stirred a pot.

“Yeah.” You mumbled back. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, belle?”

“For making you deal with this, with me.” You replied, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

Remy turned his head to the side to press a warm kiss to the side of your head. He hummed softly. “You know Gambit ain’t never gonna mind having to deal with you.”

“You mean it?” You asked, a soft smile on your lips.

“You know I do.”

And he was right. In that moment, standing with your chest pressed to his back and your arms around his waist, you were practically drowning in the love and care you could feel radiating off of him. And you knew that he meant it.

[daleyeahson]

Girl On Film | Perv!Eddie Munson x best friend reader

Summary: Eddie tries to catch a sneak peek of what it is his best friend gets up to when he’s not around. He’s thrown for a loop when he finds out that you’re more than happy to play into his little game.

Warnings: 18+ smut// minors go on and get outta here. Male masturbation, mentions of female nudity, hidden camera, cursing, use of y/n just a little bit but mainly pet names, praise and degrading kink. If I missed anything let me know!

Word count: 4.4k

next part

A/n: Also, this is my first time writing a fanfic, let alone something with some smut in it. Let me know what you liked & what I can work on but please be nice about it! Thank you guys for the support and I hope you enjoy this as much as I do! P.s. I made the mistake of typing this on the notes app on my phone and just copying it to here so that’s why the spacing is messed up I’m sorry. I’d retype it all but it’s almost 3am for me so I’m gonna have to pass on fixing it for now lmao my b y’all x

It was Friday and you, Robin, and Nancy had all left to go have a girls night out. It wasn’t very often that the three of you had spare time to hang out all together, so when the girls called you last minute saying to hurry and get ready, you didn’t think much of it. You rushed to get dressed after hanging up the phone, throwing clothes all across your room in hopes of finding your favorite pair of jeans and whatever t-shirt you could get your hands on. Having just enough time to put your hair up in a somewhat cute ponytail and slipping your shoes on, you made your way out the door as Nancy and Robin pulled up to your place. You were so excited to hang with the girls again that you didn’t even give a heads up to your best friend, Eddie Munson.

You and Eddie had been best friends for as long as you could remember. Growing up and living across from one another, you two had always been very close. When you were younger, you both would take turns on having a sleepover at one another’s place, and you still do. Having graduated from high school, you moved out of your parents home and into your very own apartment. Eddie still lived with his uncle Wayne since he was still in school and was now in his third year as a senior. Eddie was super excited when you told him you had gotten the apartment and even joked about coming over all the time to annoy you, as if you didn’t see each other almost 24/7 as is. You had laughed it off thinking he was just joking, but he wasn’t. He came over more often than not, which didn’t bother you a bit since you genuinely enjoyed his company, and eventually you just decided to have him a key made so he could come and go as he pleased.

Which brings us to now, Eddie making his way over to your place just like he does any other day. Even though he knew he’d see you tomorrow for your sleepover, he still wanted to hang out with you and just talk about his day. He loved how you would listen to him talk about whatever it was he needed to say, whether it be about school or the newest thing that’s happening in his Hellfire campaign despite you not understanding a word of what he’s talking about. All throughout your lives you’ve always been there for him for whatever he needed. It was one of the many things he loved about you. Your love and support for him is what slowly made him fall for you and here recently he’s been having trouble keeping you off of his mind. The last few years he’s been able to bury those feelings for his best friend, but with all of this extra time you two have been spending together, he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold out without doing something. He doesn’t want to scare you away or ruin your friendship by confessing his feelings. He doesn’t know if you feel the same way about him and he can’t bare the thought of not having you in his life, even if you remain only best friends. So with that, he does what he thinks is the next best thing and jerks off to you most nights. Is that really the next best thing? No, definitely not. Does he still do it? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Eddie pulls up to your apartment and steps out of his van. He makes his way to your door and reaches for his key to let himself in. It’s quiet, which he finds odd since usually you’d at least have music playing in the background or something.

“Y/N?” He says stepping into the place and closing the door behind him. “Hello? You here?”

He makes his way down the hall to your bedroom only to find it a mess and you not in it. “Huh, that’s weird.” he thinks to himself.

He didn’t expect you to be gone without letting him know first. Not that you have to tell him, but he’s so used to you doing it anyway that it puzzles him that you hadn’t said anything. Maybe you had and he just forgot. With all that’s been going on in his head lately, he wouldn’t be surprised if you did tell him you had plans and he just wasn’t paying attention. He walks further into the room and takes a look around not really knowing what to do. He must’ve just missed you because he notices the candle you always have burning was still melted and had yet to harden back again. He turns to leave and as he does something catches his eye. Right there out in the middle of your floor there it was.. a pair of black lace panties. Eddie instantly blushes when he sees it and can’t help but think about you in them, or the opposite since here they are laying here on the floor. His mind wonders to the thought of you stripping from them while changing before you left. Tossing them off to the side and standing in the same spot he was but nude from at least the waist down. Eddie would give anything, do anything to be able to see you like that. He wanted it so badly. He needed it. He just didn’t know how exactly he would get it though, until it hit him. He has a camcorder somewhere in his van that Wayne gave to him years ago. He’s never had a reason to use it, but this sure was a damn good one.

He runs to the van and opens up the back. Like a mad man, he starts going through all of the junk he has in there. After a minute or so of searching he starts to get frustrated.

“God damn, where the hell is it? Why do I have so much shit in here?” He curses at himself wishing he didn’t keep things so messy. Finally finding it, he picks it up and smirks. “Aha, gotcha.”

He hurries back inside and into your room. Instantly, he starts to look around for a spot to hide the camcorder. After searching for a bit, he notices a shelf where you had some of your old stuffed animals on display. “Perfect.” He says as he makes his way over to it.

It really is the perfect spot for such a thing. From that angle he’s able to see almost your entire room, apart from the doorway. He doesn’t mind though, thinking there’s no way you would change clothes right in the doorway anyhow, so it wasn’t a big deal if he couldn’t see that part. He doesn’t turn it on just yet. He plans on waiting until he’s here during the sleepover so that the next morning he can grab it and leave before you have a chance to notice it.

Once he has the camera hidden, he makes his way out the apartment for the last time. Getting into his van he can’t help but feel guilty. He knows he shouldn’t be doing such a thing, but the growing bulge beneath his zipper says otherwise. There’s no way you’d know about it, right? He made sure you couldn’t see the camera from any part of your room, or at least he thought he did.

He makes his way back home and as soon as he gets inside he makes a beeline to his room to take care of his situation. Just the thought of him possibly having a chance of seeing you like that for real has him making a mess all over himself. Afterwards, he cleans up and decides to go to the living room to watch tv and have a beer or two. He figures he would just try calling you in a few hours to see if you made it home alright and to see where you went.

******

It’s about 10:30 at night before you make it home. The three of you would’ve stayed out later if Robin didn’t have work early in the morning. You make your way inside and take your shoes off at the door. Heading straight for your bedroom, you start to take your hair out of the ponytail. Instantly feeling that sweet sensation of having it down after keeping it pulled up for hours on end. The kind of relief that hurts just a little bit but feels so good at the same time.

You search your drawers to find some pjs to slip into then start to make your way to the bathroom. Just as you’re about to go in there, your phone rings.

“Hello?” You say hesitantly, not expecting anyone to be calling this late.

“Hey, sweetheart, where ya been?”

Eddie. You had forgotten to tell him you were leaving this evening. You felt guilty thinking he must’ve been worried about you not knowing where you went last minute.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry. I meant to tell you but it just slipped my mind. Robin and Nancy called and told me to hurry and get ready so we could have a girls night.”

“There’s no need to be sorry, I promise.” He reassures you. “I’m glad you got to go have fun with them. I know it’s been a while since you last had a girls night. Are you just getting in?”

“Yeah..” you said with a sigh, tired from the night you just had, “I was actually about to get a shower right before you called.”

Eddie has to stop himself from audibly moaning once you said that. He can’t help but think about how if he hadn’t called, you’d be in the shower all hot and steamy. Soap running down your body and between your breasts. Eddie finds himself fumbling over his words like a fool when he tries to speak again.

“Oh- well I-uh - don’t let me keep you waiting.” He chuckles. “I’m sure you’re wanting to hurry and get that over with before you have to go clean up the mess of clothes in your room, right?”

“Oh..” you say feeling slightly embarrassed that he saw the mess you had left in a hurry. “..you saw that?” Usually, you tried to keep things somewhat clean when he came over, not that he would mind because lord knows he shouldn’t be one to judge, you just didn’t want him to see things in such a big mess like that.

“Oh- uh- yeah, I did. I came by to hang out but I must’ve just missed you.” He laughs, “Don’t worry though, I didn’t stay long so whatever you may have laying about in your room, my eyes did not see a thing. Scouts honor.”

You couldn’t help but blush at the suggestive comment he made. The idea of Eddie thinking you’d have anything like that brought a familiar feeling to your core. This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve felt like this because of Eddie or something he’s said. You two were very close so it was only a matter of time before one of you caught feelings for the other. What you didn’t know what that he felt the same way about you, as you did him. Yeah, Eddie would flirt with you but he was always the charming type. He was like that with almost everybody. Sure he called you cute pet names, but you just thought it was because of how close you two were. Just something best friends did, right?

“Eddie, first of all, you weren’t a scout, and second of all, even if I did have anything like that, I sure as hell wouldn’t leave it out in the open for just anybody to see.”

“Just anybody?” He said with pretend jealously, “who else has a key to get into your place?”

“You’re the only one, but with that big mouth of yours I’m sure if you did find something, everyone in this town would know about it by morning.”

Eddie gasp. “You’ve wounded me, princess. Truly, you have. I’m glad you think so highly of me to believe I’d stoop so low as to share such personal information with the common folk of this kingdom.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how dramatic he can be and decided to play into his little game. “If you live to see the morning light, I shall see you then for our annual weekend festivities, but for now I must say goodbye, Sir Munson, for this ass will not wash itself, unfortunately.”

Eddie let out a loud hearty laugh at that statement. “Alright, I guess I’ll let you go take care of that. Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight, Eddie, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Morning…Right. He’d be coming back over early in the morning so you guys could fix breakfast together to start the day just like you always did. Eddie couldn’t help but get nervous thinking about how far into the future that was. It was 11pm now and he usually comes by around 9am. Ten hours. Anything could happen in that amount of time. What if you found the camcorder? What would you say? What would you do? Would you never speak to him again? He knew he’d never be able to sleep with those questions floating around his mind. So he laid there in bed, wide awake. Ten hours, he reminded to himself, all he had to do was wait ten hours.

******

Somehow, Eddie managed to get around 4 hours of sleep that night. He was never one to willingly get up this early, especially on the weekend but for you he’d do just about anything. He got out of bed and took a quick shower to help wake him up some more. Throwing on his usually attire, he makes his way out the door and to his van, deciding against a morning coffee knowing you’d fix some once he got there.

Eddie pulled up to your apartment once again and slowly made his way over to the door. Before he could reach for his key, you opened the door and greeted him in a very enthusiastic manner.

“Good morning, sunshine! Are you ready to get this party started?”

“Y/n, please, you know I can’t get excited about the day without coffee first.”

“I swear, sometimes it’s like I’m best friends with someone’s southern grandpa. My own little personal peepaw.” You joked but it only made him send a glare over to you. He really wasn’t a morning person at all. “I’ve already got a fresh pot of coffee waiting for you in the kitchen.”

“You truly are the best…I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He says as he walks by you towards the kitchen to pour himself a cup.

You closed the door and followed behind him making your way to the fridge. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.. so..” you said as you opened it, “what do you want for breakfast? Pancakes? Waffles? We could just have cereal if you want that instead.”

“Could we have French toast again?” Eddie asks walking up towards you, coffee in hand. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it since the last time we had it.”

Your back was to Eddie so you hadn’t realized just how close he had gotten. As you turn to face him so you could answer his question, you accidentally bump into him causing him to spill some of his coffee down your shirt.

“Son of a bitch!” You yelled while trying to hurry and pinch your shirt so the coffee wouldn’t burn you.

“Sweetheart, I- I am so sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no, it’s okay” you put your other hand on his shoulder to try and stop him from panicking, “it was my fault anyway I bumped into you. Don’t worry about it, really, it’s not a big deal. And to answer your question, yes we can have French toast again, but we need to get eggs first.”

“Uh- y-yeah sure. I can run and get them real quick.”

“That’s fine with me. While you go do that, I’ll go get a shower and change out of these clothes.” You said as you headed off to the bathroom.

Suddenly Eddie didn’t feel as bad as he did before about the coffee. It was like the universe itself was helping him with his mission. This was it, his one chance. Once he heard you start the shower, he hurries into your room. Making his way over to the camcorder hidden away, he turns it on and presses the record button. “Jesus H. Christ please let this work” he mutters to himself. With that he leaves to make his way to the grocery store and tries to keep his mind busy, thinking of anything other than what’s happening back at the apartment.

Eddie comes back with the eggs and your morning routine is back on track. You fix breakfast together like always and just spend the day hanging out. You didn’t do much during these sleepovers, but you both still enjoyed the quality time together. By the end of the night, you found yourselves cuddled up on the couch watching a few movies you had on hand. You had fallen asleep on Eddie, your back to his chest. He somehow manages to get out from under you without waking you, and he carries you into your room. Laying you down on the bed, he covers you up with the blanket and makes sure you’re still in a deep sleep before he walks over to the shelf with your stuffed animals. He reaches over and turns the camcorder off and forms a mental note to himself to make sure he’s up before you are so he can somehow sneak it back out to his van. Eddie climbs into the bed to lay next to you. Sharing the bed is something you always did even as children growing up so it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. While in a deep sleep, you turn over to face Eddie and snuggle right up to him. He wishes you two could stay like this forever and not just on Saturdays when you have sleepovers.

*****

The next day you both wake up closer to noon rather than super early like before. Of course Eddie didn’t wake up earlier than you, who does he think he is? He’s thankful that you get up and head to the bathroom and as soon as the door closes, Eddie jumps up to grab his camcorder, practically running to his van and back in hopes of not getting caught. When he comes back in, he jumps at the sight of you standing there across the room from him.

“Whatcha doin’ big boy?” You say standing in the kitchen, sipping on a glass of water.

“I-uh- went for a smoke.”

“With your cigarettes on the table the whole time?”

Shit. Shit shit shit. He was starting to freak out. He had to come up with something quick.

“Not that kind of smoke, princess.”

“Ah, gotcha.” You finished your drink and turned to set the glass in the sink before returning your attention back to Eddie. “So, do you wanna go get something to eat? Lunch at the diner maybe? I’m starving.”

Eddie couldn’t let you in his van knowing what was sitting in the passenger seat. He didn’t have time to hide it in the back again and he knew you’d race and beat him to the van if he agrees to go out.

“Uh, no not this time. I- I actually have to leave.”

“Leave? Why?”

“Wayne needs me. Yeah, uh he’s got this thing he’s been working on and he told me the other day that he would need my help today with it so um, I should get going.”

With a confused look on your face you stare at him suspiciously. The longer you take to say something the more he feels like he’s going to have a heart attack right here in the middle of your apartment. Finally, after what feels like forever to him, you say something.

“Yeah, sure, okay.. um, well I guess I’ll see you around then? Call me tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah, yes, of course I will.”

Eddie leaves your place in a hurry and speeds back home. He can’t believe he just did that. The thrill of it all. He gets home and rushes inside. Going straight to his room and setting up the tape to play, he sits on his bed with his back to the headboard. He was already semi hard on the drive home, just thinking about what was waiting for him on that tape.

After a few minutes, he could hear your bedroom door open on the video. It took you a second to come into the frame but when you did, Eddie thought he had died and went to heaven. There you were, in nothing but a towel, water still dripping from your hair and making its way down your body. He starts to palm himself over his jeans making him hiss at the physical touch he so craved.

“Shit.. oh fuck…”

Things had just started and he was already a whimpering mess. A small wet patch forming on his jeans just from what little bit he saw of you. He couldn’t take it any longer, needing to feel more he took his jeans and boxers off. His cock springing up to his stomach as he groaned, finally feeling some relief. He spit in his hand and started stroking himself, gathering up his precum from the head as he watched you walk around your room looking for new clothes to wear.

Once you found an outfit, you laid it on the bed and began to dry yourself off. Your back was to the camcorder as you removed your towel. Your bare ass was on display for Eddie now and he tries his best not the cum at the sight of it.

“Oh god, baby, fuck you’re so beautiful.”

Every once in a while he catches a glimpse of some side boob but he grows impatient wanting to see more. Speeding up his fist, he becomes a blabbering mess as he tries to find his release.

“Shit, oh my god look at you. Just look at you. You’re so god damn beautiful. Fuck, you’re being so good for me, baby. Letting me see you like this? Sticking that ass out for me? God you’re so fucking good. So, so, good.”

He stops for a second to spit some more on his cock and then resumes the same pace he had before. At this point of the video, you had dried off and discarded your towel, but was still standing there fully nude for him.

Throwing his head back, he started to beg even more. “Oh fuck, princess, I’m getting so close. So fucking close.. please turn around for me baby. Please please please, I need to see you. All of you.”

Eddie knew you couldn’t hear him, but that didn’t stop him from saying it. He looks back up at the screen and suddenly, as if you had actually heard him, you turn your head slightly over your shoulder and he swears you were looking straight into the lens of the camcorder. Before he could process what was happening, you spoke.

“Be patient, Eddie, you’re not the only one who gets to have fun with this.”

Eddie instantly froze, hand not moving but still holding his cock. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? No, there’s no way you actually said that.

You turned around and Eddie let out a moan. Seeing you fully nude, your cunt on display right in front of him. He wanted to cum so bad. He needed to cum.

You start to feel yourself up looking directly at him. He starts to jerk himself off again at the sight of it all.

“Oh, you’re so dirty. Such a filthy little slut for me. I take back what I said about you being good. You are bad, very bad, sweetheart.”

Eddie could feel himself inching closer to his orgasm with every pump of his fist, his breathing gets heavy as he chases his release.

“Fuck, oh fuck, just like that baby, keep playing with those pretty tits of yours. Shit, oh- oh my god I’m gonna cum baby, I’m gonna fucking cum. You gonna let me cum all over those tits, hm? Ohhhh shit.”

Just as he’s about to cum he hears a noise come from the video causing him to pause what he’s doing yet again. The sound of your front door opening and suddenly a voice. His voice.

“Princess? I got the eggs! I’m gonna get started on breakfast, okay?”

You call out to him, “Yeah, okay, I’ll be out in a minute!”

You made your way closer to the camcorder and looked directly into it. At this point Eddie knew for sure he had been caught and wasn’t just imagining things.

“Looks like you just cockblocked yourself.. let’s see if you’ll have the guts to finally make a move in person. If not, I guess we’ll just have to wait until next weekend, yeah?”

You turn to go put your clothes on before quickly turning back. “Oh and by the way, next time you want to sneak and record someone, make sure there isn’t a big red light coming from the camera.” And with that you winked and started getting dressed.

Eddie sat there for a second, mouth hanging open in disbelief before quickly putting a pair of sweats on and grabbing his keys. He’ll be damned if he waits a whole week before making a move now after that stunt you just pulled.

******

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[romanarose]

The River

Joel Miller x Black!fem!reader

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Summary: Joel and Sarah's mom! reader the days he's conceived, written to Bruce Springsteen's The River in honor of his birthday today!

Warnings: Virginity loss for both, piv sex, skinny dipping, not a happy end, if you want the spoiler look at notes at the end. Classmate calls reader a name but its never stated so you can fill in the blank however fitting you feel, but its implied its either a slur or a derogatory word towards women. Story starts with joel and reader in HS and 17, but 18 when the smu happens. If this makes you uncomfortable, thats fine. Dont read it.Some drinking but everyone is consenting, and at 18 in the 80's in the us you can drink Immersivity: reader is at least biracial as fitting with the show TLOU. Not super descriptive there bc I wanted it to remain pretty open but I mentioned hair care for curls and dark skin

Happy birthday Bruce!!!! I love you

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto

I come from down in the valley

Where, mister, when you're young

They bring you up to do like your daddy done

  It started at 17, just kids. You were like something out of a dream to a teen. Well, a wet dream. You dressed so unlike everyone around him, showing off skin in a way scandalous to the bible belt you were living in. Joel was taught that impure thoughts and sex before marriage was sinful, shameful.

A year later, it didn’t feel shameful with you. 

When you moved here during yours and Joel’s senior  year, you and Joel met at a party and it was all over for him the second he saw you in that pretty black dress that dipped so low… Dark, thick curls spiraled around your head in a halo and beautiful dark skin. Joel was certain you weren’t looking his way even once. Joel wasn’t unpopular by any means, but if he were honest a lot of his circle came from either playing baseball or being Tommy’s brother . 

Tommy was a linebacker on the football team, something much cooler than baseball was. Joel didn’t think himself ugly, he thought he was decent to look at, but his nose got in the way, just planted large smack in the middle of his face. Tommy had similar features, but for some reason they meshed together better. Tommy was also just so much more extraverted, friendly as they came. And none of it was fake, Tommy was genuine and that's why people liked him. That’s why Tommy lost his virginity long before Joel had his first kiss.

When you walked over and struck up a conversation with him of all people, Joel’s eyes nearly popped out of his face.

“Hey.” You told him your name. “I start school next week with y’all”

“”M Joel,” He reached out shaking your hand, a move that made you grin ear to ear. “Nice t’meecha”

“You’re cute, Joel, wanna talk outside?”

An hour later, you and Joel hadn’t spoken to a single other soul. He watched as envious eyes lingered on them, pride swelling in his chest at having the prettiest girl at the party wearing his jacket as you sat on the porch. 

“HEY MILLER!” A teammate of Tommy’s shouts at Joel from below the porch. “Gonna finally score a homerun?”

When you looked at him confused, Joel explained the metaphor. “I play baseball.”

“YEAH AND HE’S NEVER SCORED WITH A GIRL!”

“THANKS DAN I THINK SHE GOT IT!!” Joel shouted to the jeering boy who’d drawn a bit of a crowd. When he turns back to you, you weren’t weirded about him being a virgin still, instead you were smiling.

“I’m a virgin too, don’t worry. Wanna really show ‘em how stupid they look?” You whisper.

Joel laughs, smiling something dopey. “Please…”

Swinging one leg over the porch railing, a move that spread your legs and rode your skirt up. You grab his shirt, yanking him towards you and kissing him right tyoure in the porch light, getting bitten by mosquitos. This creates a bunch of loud whooping from everyone except Dan, more people gathering to watch the show. Joel about passed out, ready to fall off the porch and die a happy man. He didn’t, holding onto your leg as you giggled into his mouth at the reactions of everyone around them.

After that, only death could separate Joel from you. 

Me and Mary we met in high school

When she was just seventeen

We drive out of this valley

Down to where the fields were green

“Hey Miller!” Dan called after him in the hall, but Joel wasn’t interested in talking to him.

That school year had been a wild one to be sure. You joined the cheer team, but admitted later it was so that you could see Joel more, an excuse to talk to him. Joel was absolutely baffled at the concept that you thought you needed a reason to talk to him after he’d kissed you, but sweet nonetheless. 

Dan had tried in vain to steal you out from under him, but to Joel’s surprise you showed no interest. After that, he got mean. Joel frequently found himself telling Dan to shut the fuck up, defending you even though the relationship still didn’t have a name. It was stolen smiles in class, study dates, choosing to spend your 18th birthday with him at the local diner instead of a party.  DIdn’t matter. He wasn’t going to let Dan talk the way he did about you. It’d never escalated to more than a few shoves in the locker room, resulting in being separated by Tommy and your teammate. Their coach said if Dan causes more problems to let him know.

And then, Dan crossed a line. The crowded hallway was loud, people pushing around to get the hell out of school and onto their next event but Joel heard him loud and clear. The hall got real quiet, everyone between Dan and you and Joel hearing with Dan called you, and it was over. 

“Joel…” You warn, feeling him squeeze your hand tighter. “Don-” but he was gone, letting go and lunging at Dan like he was tackling in a game.

The fight didn’t last long, Joel a little better off than Dan was by the time they were pulled apart, which is why the coach suspended Joel for 2 days instead of Dan. They told the coach, multiple students testifying, what Dan had called you but he never go any repercussions. That just makes Joel all the more happy he broke his nose.

You were his after that. Officially. Boyfriend and girlfriend and inseparable. Every game, you were there cheering him on and every night you worked he was there to walk you home. 

When the summer turned warm, Joel decided he wanted to share something special with you.

It was a secret spot, a place Joel grandpa used to take him and Tommy to fish before he passed. They pair had grown up swimming there when they could get their hands on a car in the summer, and it was somewhere that few people knew about. A quiet lake, the perfect place to fish and swim or just relax. Joel managed to borrow your brothers car, people trusting him as he was responsible, unlike Tommy. He even packed you a picknick, making it a nice date. He knew he was romantic as shit. He didn’t plan on what happened happening, but he knew it would be a special afternoon.

The week after graduation in Texas was already warm, the world bright and happy around him as college approached. You and him had plans to move to Austen together, he had gotten a few good grants for low income students and was going to attend the tech school, get into electrician work. He even knew a place where he could apprentice in the city, and hopefully by the time you graduate with your 4 year degree he would have his journeymans. You had gotten an excellent scholarship, and between that and the money saved from the last few years of both of you working, if you guys budgeted well you would graduate almost debt free. Then, find permanent jobs, get a house, get married, have kids… the entire world was in the palm of your hands.

You hadn’t taken the big step, even after 7 months of dating, you were still virgins. You wanted to… but where? On the bottom bunk of the bunk bed Joel and Tommy still shared in the tiny mobile home? Or at your place, where your mom made you keep the door open at all time? Joel certainly wasn’t going to deflower you in the back of a car, he wasn’t a fucking animal. Still, he liked to think what ended up happening was perfect.

You loved it.

We'd go down to the river

And into the river we'd dive

Oh, down to the river we'd ride

“Joel!!!” An excited squeal escaped your lips as he finished setting everything up. There were even a bundle of wildflowers on the blanket he sprawled out on the grass. 

“M’grandpa used to take me  n’ Tommy here ‘fore he died.” Joel explained, standing up and stepping back to admire his work. There was a tinge of longing, reminiscing on those old days, childhood that he was soon to leave behind for a life with you. There'll always be nostalgia, but he didn’t have to fear facing the future with you by his side. He’d do it all in your honor. Joel felt your hand on his back.

“He sounds great, baby.”

Joel smiled. “Yeah, he was.” But he turned to hug yo. The smell of your hair was always something he took his time to appreciate. Throughout these months, he’d learned a lot about taking care of your hair, and absolutely adored the smell of coconut oil. He'd gotten pretty damn good at braiding. Sometimes you’d even put the oil in his hair, and Joel loved the scalp massage too much he was practically purring. That’s how you learned he had a sensitive scalp. Very sensitive.

Got anything to drink?” You smiled, trying to distract him.

He paused for a bit, then finally smiled for the first time tonight. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

Joel pulled out the glasses, iced tea, rum, and sliced lemons; Long Island iced tea.

Joel insisted on holding the ice to your lip as You sipped through your straw and drank his own. Joel was more of a beer guy himself, the guys would never let it go if they caught him drinking this, but for your, he’d drink it. Plus, it actually tastes good. Beer does not.

Now, Joel was Joel again. He laughed along to your stories and shared quips about the guys at the shop as they sat on the blanket he laid out by the banks. He braided your hair back for you, tying it up nice and tight so the river water doesn’t ruin it.

“You ready to swim?” You asked.

Joel grinned “Absolutely. I brought some spare clothes, I figured you couldn’t exactly sneak out with swimwear.”

“Actually…” You stood up. “I was thinking we could just…” You took off your shirt. Joel quickly stood up. “Skinny dip?” 

Joel had felt your tits before. Plenty. You and him had explored things before… but never this. Seeing your breasts in that bra had his mind short circuiting. He was only a man. 

You turned away and began walking towards the river. The Texas sun was setting on your back as you slid your underwear off. Joel never really gotten a good look at your ass until now. Well now, he was taking it all in. 

“You gonna join me? Or just stare at my ass like a perv at a gas station?” He looked up at you and saw you glancing over your shoulder as you unhooked your bra. When you turned back and tossed your bra back to the shore, Joel scrambled out of his jeans and underwear comically fast, hopping out of his last pant leg. Joel grinned wildly as he giggled (did he just giggle?) and ran into the river as he pulled his shirt off.

By the time he reached you, you had dove into the water, swimming out. He caught up to you and pulled your wet frame in, finally taking yor in the kiss he had wanted to give all afternoon. He was careful, ever so careful, not to startle you or move too fast, but he hears you laugh. “Oh my god Joel, just kiss me.”

As the lady wished. He deepened the kiss as you ran fingers through his thick curls, massaging into his scalp. He could feel himself getting hard, so he pulled away. “Time to swim, sweetheart.” As he dove into the water, you got a quick peek at his ass before it re-entered the cool water. Oh man, you could not wait to get a hold of that latter tonight. You swam as the sun peaked, until your bodies were too tired to keep changing between kisses and splashes.

The evening was still warm, but could cool quick. Joel grabbed towels and another drink for the two of you on the blanket. While in the car, he opened his windows and turned up the radio. He helped dry off your hair and body before pulling a blanket over the two of you. The area was private, no one would be here except him. Snuggling into his chest, you signed contently. Joel was your safe place. Despite being naked under the blanket, You felt warm and secure. When “Sister Christian” faded out of the car radio, You listened to the DJ.

“This next song is a request, it goes out from Joel in Arlington. Joel wants you to know how much he’s enjoyed your time together and he hopes for many more nights like tonight. Well, isn’t that sweet. Here’s to you, this is You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac”

You turned to him with a broad smile. “Joel! That’s so sweet” You took him in for a kiss as the opening chords started playing, your dark, naked body pulling up against him.

Joel tried to keep his cool, but fighting his hard-on was getting a lot harder to control. “I wanted to play something by Stevie Nicks, but all the songs I knew that she sang sounded like break up songs.” Joel sucked on your neck.

You moaned out his name. “Oh god… mmm” You tried to keep the conversation going, but he felt so good on your skin. “True, but Silver Springs is a masterpiece…”

“You are a masterpiece…” He murmured between the soft kisses he placed along your stomach. your heart rate kicked up as he crept closer to your sex. 

“Joel…” You pleaded, begging him for more as he kissed the crease of your legs, so, so close to where you needed him to be. Something else entirely. Just when You thought he was finally going to take your in his mouth,  moved past your sex, his beautiful lips tantalizingly grazing over you’re folds to move towards your inner thighs. “Joel, please, stop teasing…”

“As the lady wants…” Finally, he dove into you.

Then I got Mary pregnant

And man, that was all she wrote

You tasted fantastic. He flattened his tongue as licked up, swirling around your clit, making your whimper. He loved the little sounds You made when he touched you, tasted you. Sliding two fingers inside, Joel worked your lower body with everything in him: his fingers deep inside your, his mouth licking and kissing everywhere in reach, his free hand massaging along your thigh.

In the freedom of the dark night, You felt free to be as loud as You wanted. “FUCK! Fuck Joel, just like that.”

“Fuck, you taste so good”

You gave a breathy laugh “Baby, I taste like river water”

“Like delicious river water” He muttered with an obvious smile;

You giggled “Ew”

Joel hummed “mmmm” the vibration sending another wave through you.

“Oh! Oh God, Joel!” You whimpered when You felt his teeth carefully draw along your sensitive inner thigh.

Joel continued working you, fingering you open carefully until you came on his tongue, tugging on the sweet curl and his oh so sensitive scalp.

You moved your hips up, sending a shock of electricity through him when he felt your thigh rub along his cock.

He kissed into your neck, fighting the strong urge to leave hickies. “If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I was presumptuous?”

“If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I’m easy?”

You could feel a shit eating, teasing grin being pressed into your neck. “I don’t believe in women being easy, I believe in men being lucky.”

With your soft hand, you guided his face back to yours and You gifted him with a kiss. “Do you think you’re lucky tonight?”

He couldn’t help the feral growl that escaped him as he nipped along your neck and chest. “Sweetheart, tonight, I think I’m favored by the gods.” He rolled over and pulled the condom out of his pant pocket and slid it over his length before lining himself up at your entrance and planting a soft kiss on your brow. He touched his forehead to yours. “You want this?” Joel spoke softly in your ear.

You smiled, eyes closed, and nodded, gently tracing the muscles on his back, toned from physical labour.

“More than anything, Joel. Do you?”

When you opened them, Joel was beaming down at you. “More than anything.”

 He felt your grip on his shoulder as he entered your, wet and hot in contrast to the cool air seeping into their little haven. He pulled the blanket over both of their heads to keep the heat between them, to keep the world outside. Right now, only they mattered, only you existed, nothing else could possibly be more important than making you feel beautiful and special and… loved.

You were ethereal. Nothing in the world felt better than you sweet pussy and there was nothing he loved more than you, his beautiful girl giving herself to him, just as he gave himself to you. 

In your little tent, you felt safe, appreciated and adored. Joel always had a way of taking away all your anxieties, his demeanor was always so light and relaxing but fiercely protective. You could feel him hitting deep inside you despite his movements being slow and steady, not wanting to hurt you. He was all kisses: your mouth your jaw, your breasts, your cheeks. As you stretched out your body and put your arms over your head, he ran his hands up your sides, over your breasts and shoulders, along your arms and finally pinning your hand above your. Joel held you to the ground and he picked up his pace, making your toes curl as your orgasm built back up again.

“Mmmm, Joel, baby you feel so good… so good honey”

Joel could feel your tightening around him, he knew you were close. He kissed deep into your mouth that opened for him. You aggressively kissed back, taking his lip between your teeth. “Please baby, I need to feel you.” You wiggled your wrists.

Joel complied, releasing your hands which You returned to his tan skin. When You came around him, he felt your fingernails digging into his shoulder blades, tipping him over the edge. His pace faltered as he rode out his orgasm, pressing tender kisses into your neck.

When they re-emerged from the cover of the blanket, night had completely fallen on the reservoir, the moon shone above the treeline illuminating You’s tan, wet body. “Keep on Lovin You” by REO Speedwagon was in full swing. They laid on the bank of the river, pulling your close just to feel each breath You takes.

There they laid, until Joel heard the rumble of thunder. “We should probably get going, don’t want to get rained on.” No answer. He looked down to see you sleeping against his chest. 5 more minutes won’t hurt… He thought to himself, and watched your sleep for 20 minutes, until you stirred to the sound of the thunder getting closer.

“Hm?” You grumbled into his chest, despite him not saying anything.

“I said we gotta go, it looks like rain.”

“Oh.” You rubbed your eyes and sat up. “Oh shit, I forgot we were naked.”

Joel stood up and gathered your clothes that You had practically stripped off for him, then got dressed himself.

It was that July you told him you were pregnant.

And for my nineteenth birthday

I got a union card and a wedding coat

We went down to the courthouse

And the judge put it all to rest

No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle

No flowers, no wedding dress

Everything changed after that, 

Not the love you had for each other, no, not that.

But everything else.

Your parents kicked you out when you told them, and Joel’s family let you move in, kind enough to let you take the couch, until a week later you and Joel were married at the courthouse. You spend your wedding night on the bottom of a bunk bed, Tommy staying with a friend for the night to offer you some privacy.

Life wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t the worst. No trade school, no apprenticeship, no journeymans, but Joel found a union job which was good. You continued working your job at the diner until Sarah was born, the best day of Joel’s life.

The next 5 years would be difficult, late bills and a sick baby, union going on strike, but no matter what, he had you. Always had you, his beautiful girl. Sometimes, Joel would ask Tommy to watch Sarah for a few hours, and he’d take you back to the river, back to where she was conceived. He couldn’t say he regretted it, but when this life brought him his baby. He couldn’t regret anything with you, honestly. Every struggle was worth it for his little family.

It was here you told him about the cancer.

Now all them things that seemed so important

Well mister they vanished right into the air

Now I just act like I don't remember

Mary acts like she don't care

Joel watched as a preteen Sarah swam around the river, Tommy and Joel parked with chairs close enough their feet were wet. Joel supposed she was technically a teen now… but it felt wrong to say his baby was a teenager of all things. 13 could be a preteen, just one more year. He had braided her hair back the same way he always did yours, the memory of which always tore at his chest. There were a few years there he didn’t take her, the last time Sarah had been was when she was 6.

 The chemo had taken its toll on you, but you wanted this last summer with your daughter. Joel had carried you in, your body to weak to stand for long but once you were in again, you were at ease. The water helped you move, taking pressure off your joints and Sarah, as little as she was played gently with you, knowing her mom was fragile. Joel loved how much you loved her, how much Sarah adored you, and it killed him. It killed him to know there wasn’t much longer left. 

Joel watched as you floated, taking in the sun on your skin as Sarah did the same. Two peas in a pod.

You died two days later.

But I remember us riding in my brother's car

Her body tan and wet, down at the reservoir

At night on them banks I'd lie awake

And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take

Now those memories come back to haunt me

They haunt me like a curse

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true

Or is it something worse

Joel didn’t take her again until she was 10. He couldn’t stomach it, so Tommy did, wanting to keep the family place alive.

“You alright, brother?” Tommy asked, cool beer in his hand.

Joel sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Just….” He shook his head, watching as Sarah went under to do a handstand. “She looks so much like her mom, doesn’t she?”

When Sarah popped up again, Joel and Tommy cheered for her in encouragement.

“Yeah, that she does.”

School was starting soon, and Joel would have less time with her, so he was savoring these little moments, just as their family. Just the three of them. Joel still felt you here, present with him in these ways, even after all these years. 

2003 marked 7 years since your death, and every day Sarah grew to look more like you.

Now those memories come back to haunt me

They haunt me like a curse

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true

Or is it something worse

That sends me down to the river

Though I know the river is dry

That sends me down to the river tonight

Down to the river

My baby and I

Oh, down to the river we ride

SPOILER!!! Reader dies.

Thak you soooo muc for reading, i know my last fic and this one have been downers, and i gonna be honest, my final joel piece before leaving the fandom wil be bittersweet too ;-;

Thank you for all the love you've given me!!!

Taggint htose whove expressed interest. I think. if i mistagged you im sorry!!! its late for me

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @msjarvis @grogusmum @hiroikegawa @jennaispunk @fandxmslxt69 @sweetlummie

[toxic3mmy]

[guys im so sorry if this sucks! ik a lot of you wanted a pt 2 so here it is. even if it sucks, it’s got smut so hopefully it’ll make up for it hehehe]

prompt: you and alex hate each other but one night of your sleep talking changes everything (continued)

warning: smut

part two

you weren’t sure if you wanted to be honest and just talk to alex about your dream last night. the thing is, this wasn’t the first time this happened and you felt too embarrassed to admit that you’ve been fantasizing about him for months now.

a loud whistle quickly dissipated the millions of thoughts running through your mind. you look over and see rubius smiling and waving at the two of you with the rest of the gang.

“what do you guys think about taking a break from the beach and going out for a bit? i heard there’s an event going on kinda like a carnival and also a bonfire. what do you all think?”

everyone agreed happily and gathered their things to get back to the hotel.

you looked over at alex and saw him already staring at you. he quickly looked away and made himself look busy.

everyone decided on picking up some street tacos on the way to the hotel since y’all had eaten hours earlier and it was almost nighttime.

the group headed to their hotel rooms where some showered and got ready for a night out while others took naps.

you were nervous about alex bringing up the whole dream thing again so you practically ran to the room and hopped in the shower. this time, your shower was quick as you wanted to eat and nap after being in the sun for so many hours.

you saw that alex was also eating and watching tv.

you began to multitask between eating and applying a little bit of makeup so that you didn’t have to rush when you woke up.

the two of you ate in silence and soon alex got up to shower.

you finished off your food and decided to dim the lights for your nap. it took you a few minutes to fall asleep but once you did, you fell into a deep slumber.

alex also decided he wanted to nap and so he got into bed next to you after his shower.

“y/n? are you awake?” he asked quietly

no answer

alex sighed and leaned over to kiss your forehead as lightly as possible. and with that, you both were asleep.

______

the air was filled with children laughing, spanish music, and the sound of roller coaster rides. there were so many decorations and pretty lights all around you.

you smiled as you looked around and took in the moment. your friends were people you loved and were so eternally grateful for.

“guys! over here!” tina smiled and waved us over

we played a bunch of games together and it got super competitive at some point. then we kinda paired off and rode some rides.

you got on a few with tina and it was overall just so much fun.

before heading to the bonfire, we all decided to get on the ferris wheel. we lined up and everyone gave each other strange glances, almost giggling to each other.

“next!”

you sat down and one of them shoved alex up and you realized that they planned this. you sigh annoyed but let him sit next to you anyways.

alex was also not so happy about being stuck with you on such a slow and romantic ride.

it was quiet for the first few minutes and you blurted out what had been weighing on you for a long time.

“why do you hate me?”

“um.. what?” alex said a bit dumbfounded

“i just want to understand what made you hate me… i mean, when we first met i was nice to you and you were immediately cold towards me. ever since then i just returned that energy but, why? what made you so hateful towards me?”

“y/n, i—”

“please alex… just tell me and i promise i won’t bother you ever again. i just really need to know” you looked down at my hands in my lap

“it’s pretty obvious y/n” alex said in an annoyed, almost angry tone

“well then maybe i’m just blind… please?” you beg, your eyes tearing up a bit, your heart feeling heavy as you knew your friends really just wanted you two to get along, i mean that was obvious

“let’s just say… my reasons are personal, okay?!” he raised his voice at you

you choked out a little sob as it was all so overwhelming

“i want t-to get off this r-ride!” you sniffled and tried desperately to hold in your cries

“hey, hey i’m sorry.. y/n i really am sorry. please don’t cry” he held your face gently in his hands and you looked into his eyes, tears streaming down your face

“okay, the truth is… i never liked you because well i didn’t want you to know that i actually have um feelings for you… you’re way out of my league and you never look at me in that way yet you flirt with legit any guy you meet! i mean, cmon, am i not enough?!”

you began to sob once again, using your hands to cover your face. suddenly, alex leaned forward and hugged you.

it took you a few seconds but you hugged him back tightly and continued to cry

“shh, im sorry. its just a touchy subject for me. ive never been one of those guys who had girls flocking to them… if anything i always chase girls but i always feel like im not enough..”

you look up at him and wipe your tears. you nod, listening to what he’s saying. just as you were about to reply, the ride stopped.

“come on, let’s talk some more about this at the beach bonfire” you get off first and offer him a hand to get off

you held one anothers hands until alex awkwardly let go. the two of you walked in silence as you tried to come up with a response to his insecurities.

“i think you’re enough, alex… i honestly think you’re more than enough for anyone.”

“really?” he looked at you with hopeful eyes

“really. and um… about last night… i was having some uh inappropriate dreams of y-you and im really sorry if it made you uncomfortable, i totally understand” you ramble and see alex smile softly

“i know.. you said my name… what exactly were we doing in your dream?” he teased you, still smiling

“i was uh.. y-you were… i don’t know, okay?!” you huffed feeling a bit nervous

“i need a shot if we really are going to get into this” you said, sighing a bit

alex agreed and the two of you took one shot together, then two, and then three.

you felt really warm inside and almost giddy at your confession that you had cooking up in your head

“we had sex!” you practically yelled and the people around you turned to look at you. all you could do was smile sheepishly

“come on, let’s talk over here” alex said as he took you by the hand and lead you to a more secluded and darker area on the beach

“sorry about that.. im a bit nervous” you laughed uncomfortably

“it’s okay.. i already knew what we were doing in your dream. i just wanted you to admit it” he smirked and you couldn’t help but gasp and smack his arm

“you’re embarrassing me on purpose, you ass!”

alex leaned forward and pushed you against a nearby tree

“if you want.. i can admit something so that you’re not the only one feeling embarrassed”

“okay..?” you asked, curious about what he was going to say

“you were moaning my fucking name in your sleep last night y/n.. you don’t know how badly i wanted you to wake up with my tongue buried deep inside you.. you’re such a fucking tease” he said as he looked into your eyes and you almost moaned at his words

“you… i… what?” your jaw dropped at his colorful words, you immediately felt heat rush to your lower half

“y/n, i never really hated you. i hated that i couldn’t be with you. and my god you just love to be a tease. you always wear such tiny revealing clothes. do you do that for yourself or for me? tell me y/n, how often do you have dreams of me fucking you, hmm sweetheart?” he chuckled in your ear huskily

“i always dream of you fucking me senseless alex.. i hate the shit out of you but i guess my pussy doesn’t, she’s so wet for you right now.. can i show you?” you didnt even bother waiting for his response as you grabbed his hand and slipped it underneath your dress, moving your panties aside as you guided his fingers between your wet folds

“jesus fucking christ… you really are wet..” alex groaned as he moved his fingers closer to your entrance, teasing your quivering hole gently before quickly plunging in two fingers

you moaned incredibly loudly at the feeling of him inside of you and immediately, alex used his other hand to cover your mouth. he looked around and saw that a few people looked around curiously. finding it amusing, he laughed.

you inhale his scent before kissing him gently.

the two of you kissed for practically ten whole minutes without stopping.

you then start to suck on the skin beneath his ear and lower on his neck

“mmm, que rica mami” he whined as you continued to lick and bite his skin

“fuck.. we can’t do this here you fucking slut, let’s go” he grabbed your hand harshly, leading you to your friends

“hey guys, y/n had a bit too much too drink and i think i’m going to take her to the hotel before she passes out here. see you all tomorrow!” alex said hurriedly and rushed you away from the beach

the two of you said nothing as alex pulled you to the hotel as fast as he could

the second you made it to your room, alex locked the door and pulled off your soaked underwear. he walked you back and onto the bed as he said,

“you’re such a tease y/n. i uh.. i know we just made up and we barely talked about liking each other but is it okay if i uh made love to you?”

you nodded and smiled at how cute he was for asking you

alex then pushed you back and crawled over you

immediately, he spread your legs and licked your wetness with groans of pleasure

your eyes rolled back as he slipped two fingers inside of you, curling into the perfect spot. he drew patterns on your throbbing clit with his tongue.

“oh fuck, yes give it to me please!” you screamed out as he curled his fingers so so deep inside of you

your hands pulled on his hair as he ate your pussy like a starved man

“alexis… oh alex, you feel so good!”

you were grinding deliciously onto his fingers and tongue. he sped up his pace and you saw stars as you climax with a loud scream of his name. alex smiled into your pussy as he slowed down and soon stopped altogether. he pulled away and got up as you caught your breath.

“be back” he said quietly

you couldn’t help but slip your hand into your panties and touch yourself at the thought of alex who was about to fuck you.

“oh fuck.. mmmf” you whimpered as the wet sounds of your fingers rubbing your pussy filled the room

alex went to retrieve a towel and a condom from his things.

“here hermosa, let me clean you—”

you were completely naked and touching yourself.

it would be a lie to say that alex didn’t spring a hard on from the sight of you and the words you were saying.

“god y/n, you’re such a needy little girl aren’t you? here sweet girl, put this on me so i can fuck you senseless” alex handed you the condom as he laid down on the bed

you threw the condom to the floor and tugged off his pants and climbed on top of him. you placed the tip of his cock at your entrance, enjoying the sting of his size.

alex was whimpering loudly. you bottomed out and it felt like nothing you’d ever felt before. you steadied yourself with your hands on his chest and knees to the bed as you began to move.

alex gasped as you did so, watching the way your breasts moved with every move you made.

“you’re so so tight.. ugh so fucking good mami” he groaned as his hips jerked up into you

you bounced on him at a quicker pace and moaned loudly, not being able to contain yourself. you started to slow when your knees started getting tired. alex grabbed your ass and held you as he started to thrust into you like his life depended on it.

“alex… you’re so so big… please stretch my pussy” you whined as his pace increased

one of his hands made his way to your clit and your pleasure intensified.

“right there! don’t you fucking stop!” you panted and moaned sinfully

“cum for me y/n, be a good girl” alex demanded

“im so close… ugh! breed me daddy! i want to feel your cum dripping out of me, please!” you practically screamed

“oh i’ll breed you baby, i’ll fuck my cum into your sweet tight pussy” alex panted

your pussy tightened around him and he sped up as you came with lewd words spilling from your mouth

a few more thrusts and his warm seed filled up your tired cunt

you tiredly got off of him and laid down next to him

“what do we tell the others?” you asked breathlessly

alex simply laughed

“we don’t have to worry about that just yet. for now, i just really want to fuck you again, if that’s okay i mean” alex said a little nervously to which you laughed at

“oh shut up, this time you do the work my knees are fucking killing me” you said

“okay sweetheart, you just lie back and let me do all the work” he said sweetly as he crawled below you and kissed up your thighs

let’s just say, your friends definitely heard you guys make up all night long.

[its-time-to-write]

pleaseee, a part 2 to ‘ you don’t want to know me ‘

i love jamie tartt so much and hurt / comfort is just my fave kind of writing <3

Got a rude interesting comment in my inbox about my content. It’s kind of a bummer how one that isn’t nice attempts to overshadow all the love that people give. I’m glad people enjoy my writing, but ultimately I write it for myself. Requests are super awesome because it helps me grow as a writer, but I do only write the things that I want to. And I think that’s ok. I’m happy that there are a lot of people who like to read the things I like to write, and I understand those that don’t. You don’t have to be unkind about it.

Anyway, thank you @jellycolors for this ask! Y’all really do like a pt. 2 morning after fic, don’t you?😂

never wanted you to hate me

The sun is at the perfect angle to shoot a beam directly into your eyes, waking you up at exactly 7:32am, twenty-eight minutes before your alarm is supposed to go off. It’s Sunday, which is stupid, because you’re supposed to sleep in. Instead, you’re awake in bed, with your blankets feeling warmer and heavier than usual. You blink your eyes open to Jamie Tartt, shirtless and on top of you, fast asleep. You’re pretty much pinned under him, unable (or unwilling) to move him off. 

You wonder how long you should let Jamie sleep, and what he’s going to think when he wakes up like this. You’re sure this is a far cry from his usual mornings, usually with some model or something wrapped around him. You think since he’s the one holding you, it’s probably fine.

Jamie doesn’t wake up until your alarm goes off and when it does, he startles and almost rolls off the bed. You laugh at his look of utter confusion, as it takes him a moment to figure out where he is.

“You alright?” you ask, still grinning. Jamie, however, is not.

“Yeah,” he replies shortly. “Gonna get my things and get the fuck out of here.” He stalks out your bedroom without another word.

The way he’s acting is a far cry from the Jamie who asked you to sit on the bathroom sink last night so he wouldn’t be alone. In fact, it’s closer to the prickish version of himself that comes out on the pitch. You don’t like that he’s being that way with you, so you follow him to your living room.

“What the fuck was that?” you say to Jamie’s back as he bends down to get his jacket off the couch.

“Don’t know what you mean,” he replies, still not turning around.

You cross your arms. “You come here all- all sad and shit, fall asleep in my bed, tell me you fucking love me, and now you’re just leaving? What the fuck?”

Jamie stills. “I was just tired. Didn’t know what I was saying.”

That’s a lie, and you’re not going to let him get away with it.

You make your voice as steely as possible. “Jamie Tartt, if you think I’m fucking stupid as to think that I wouldn’t know you’re lying, then you might as well just go.”

Jamie turns to face you, and he looks a little wild. “Don’t think that just because we’ve known each other for thirteen years, that you fucking know me. Leave me the fuck alone.”

You squint at him. He’s wrong again. You do fucking know him. You know him so well that you understand exactly why he’s reacting this way. He hates being vulnerable in front of anyone, so now he’s trying to cut and run, pushing away one of the last people who actually cares about him.

Jamie’s still standing by the couch, clutching his Man City jacket, knuckles white. He’s still shirtless, breathing hard and waiting for you to fire back. You don’t.

Instead you say, so softly, “You know I never talk about you, right? Not gonna fuck off to some tabloid and tell them you said you love some girl you’ve known since you were ten.”

Jamie deflates a little so you continue. “We’re going to talk about all this. We’re going to talk about Roy Kent and your dad and the fact that your mum misses you so she calls me instead, and I’m going to make you breakfast and probably hold your hand and by the time you leave, you’re going to feel better and maybe actually feel fucking happy, because I see you in pictures, Jaim, and your smile really doesn’t reach your eyes anymore.”

“It’s fucked, ain’t it?” he says quietly. “I’m twenty-three, still letting me dad push me around.” He puts the jacket back on the couch and walks toward you. “And Roy Kent- he’s been my hero since I was a kid. He fucking hates me, and now he’s got a reason because I ended his fucking career. Me. And I have to live with that shit. It was the fucking worst game I’ve ever had to play. I hate being with City, especially since they all hate me for bein’ at Richmond. Pep’s the only one who didn’t say shit, just told me I was a good lad. I’ve been feeling all these emotional things and I didn’t want to go to me mum and I knew you lived ‘round here, so I thought I’d come over. You always made me feel better after seeing my dad.”

Jamie’s right in front of you now, rubbing a thumb on your cheekbone. You’re absolutely positive he can hear your heartbeat, and you dare to thread your arms around his waist.

“I loved you the first time I saw you. That’s why I was always hanging ‘round. Mum knew, she teased me about it for the longest time. Always tried to get me to say somethin’, but I weren’t ready. And you always fucking saw right through me, which freaked me the fuck out. Even now, I feel like- like you’re looking straight through me to my soul, and it’s fucking terrifying. But-” he takes a deep breath, “I also feel safe around you. I dunno, maybe it’s ‘cause I’ve seen you eat so much cake you had to lie down on the couch and sleep it off.” 

He’s grinning now, and so are you. 

“Hey,” you say, poking his chest, “I was ten and you thought you were all great because you were a year older than me and way too smart to do shit like that, as if you haven’t puked from drinking too much.”

Jamie groans. “Fucking hell, maybe you know too much about me.”

“Not possible, Tartt,” you reply. “Now, you need a shirt and I need to shower.”

He smiles. “I think you might need some help. Heard you hate showering alone.”

You laugh. “Alright, you knob. Guess it’s been long enough.” 

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: “Brothers of the Broken Horn”

Hooooooondoooooooooooooo! :D

When we open we see that Phoenix Cell has temporarily taken to port at Garel.

Which is looking as lovely as ever.

We pan down with a pleasant musical cue to see that Rex has set Ezra up with some blaster training, enlisting Chopper as a moving target.

Ezra’s already clearly frustrated and grows moreso when Kanan shows up and tells him he’s missing a Jedi training session.  His discouraged, “What if I don’t want to be either [a soldier or a Jedi]?” surprises Rex but alarms Kanan, who knows how desperately Ezra wants to be a Jedi in normal circumstances.

Neither man can figure out the reason why Ezra’s upset though (really guys? y’all be dense), and they’re interrupted by Sabine calling them in for a briefing.

The mission is honestly a little bit incidental to the plot, only really there to establish the MacGuffin that people will be wrestling over trying to possess this episode.  Ezra doesn’t get to participate as now Hera is on him also, to scrub the Phantom.

So many “teenager whines about chores to parents” vibes in this scene, especially when Hera chides Chopper for laughing about it and makes him help too lol.

Ezra is understandably feeling overwhelmed by the myriad pressures that are colliding over him right now, complaining to Chopper about it.  Kanan and Rex are pulling him in opposite directions and fighting with each other over it every step of the way, and this has made him discouraged, unsure of his path forward, and missing the simplicity of his life before the Ghost, as rough as it was.

So of course he jumps at the opportunity to distract himself from everything when Chopper picks up a distress signal from Vizago’s ship.

Borrowing Mom’s van to make a wellness check on your old criminal fencing friends lol.

Yes, this is super irresponsible and dangerous but also Ezra really needed this little day trip to clear his head and remind himself how much he’s changed from the kind of person who would’ve jumped at Hondo’s offer.

So this episode is mostly character building/character renewal for Ezra and also a Friendship Fetch Quest that nets us Hondo Ohnaka.  After Rex, he’s one of the most important allies we gain this season.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.  Back to Ezra doing things that absolutely got him grounded after this episode. XD

(Lol at Ezra’s defensive little, “I know how to fly.” towards Chopper, immediately belied by him scraping the Phantom on its hooks.)

Garel be pretty, what can I say?

Hilarious that the ship got stuck in Garel airspace, I have to assume Hondo and Vizago met with their, ah, “disagreement” literally almost as soon as they took off lolol.

Fyrnock cue coming back here, I guess we’re using it as shorthand for uncertain perilous situations now.

The similarities to the previous episode in the creepy seemingly abandoned nature of the ship I’m going to assume were deliberate in order to catch us off guard when it was all subverted and Hondo was introduced, instead of some horrible danger.

And yeah, Hondo is a bit “defanged” from his Clone Wars incarnation but I think it kinda fits, you know, the all-consuming overwhelming evil of the Empire is such that mundane run-of-the-mill pirates and criminal overlords are simply just not as frightening or dangerous anymore.  The Empire ruins everything, even the lives of outliers who used to just fly under the radar.

Ezra keeps darting glances at Hondo’s arm around his shoulder like he’s not entirely comfortable with it being there, lol.

I mentioned that Ezra’s mechanical skills sort of fall by the wayside as he grows into his role as Jedi so it’s nice that he gets to use them here.

“This was such a bad idea, Hera’s going to kill me when if I get back.”

Ah man, Ezra continues to have just such a look of regretting all of the decisions that led him to this point, poor bby.

He slips pretty naturally back into his street orphan trickster/swindler/pickpocket persona though, smoothly bargaining with Hondo to distract from his swiping the sentry droid control.

Frynock cue transmuted to strings instead of brass as we descend.

Nice to see a moon that looks like an actual moon.  This is a pretty unique location and I’m glad we get to visit it again later in the season.

Ezra planning ahead for trouble because he remembers how this kind of thing can easily go down, kind of a subtle hint at how familiar he is with the workings of the criminal underground.

And it’s a good thing he did because it’s Azmorigan that we’re meeting.  Love Ezra’s immediate look of, “Ah hell.” and hiding his face.

“I don’t deal with washed-up old relics!” “Come now, let’s leave your wife out of this.” PFFFKJHGKH HONDO PLZ.

This brief comedic exchange actually kind of gives some insight into Hondo’s changed circumstances.  The current criminal overlords consider him outdated, washed up, from a bygone era, an old fool desperately clinging to relevance.  It fits because Hondo is a bit of a classic romantic at heart, fond of what we would call “swashbuckling adventure”.  It’s the reason he loves the Jedi and thinks back on them wistfully and nostalgically, they represent the kind of dramatic tales and bold feats of a golden era full of opportunity for reward and glory.  But there’s no more room for that kind of frivolous excitement under the iron oppressive hand of the Empire, you adapt or you die out, and Hondo refuses to do either.

...Right, now that I’ve given myself feels over a comedic side character let’s move on.

The light woodwind ditties in the soundtrack belie the actual tension of this scene, especially when Ezra has his helmet pulled off.  (The cadet helmet he had Sabine paint for him, which he keeps retreating into when he feels unsafe in this episode, the biased shipper in me would like to point out.)

You can practically hear the string of curses inside his head as he tries to hide his face here.

No dice, Azmorigan recognizes him, cue Big Damn Heroes moment from the orange tin can murderhobo himself and a decent little action setpiece.  What I’m most impressed with/interested in in this sequence is Ezra himself, how he moves with such skill and finesse.

Also catch me crying remembering when he was tiny enough to hop over his own bound hands like a jumprope.  I don’t think that trick would work as well post growth spurt.

An impulsive and genuinely selfless move from Hondo as he pushes Ezra out of the way of the cargo ladder Azmorigan sent rolling at him.  And this is before he knows Ezra’s a Jedi so Hondo really basically just took one look at this kid and decided he’d die for him.  Which, you know, valid.

This droid is a menace lol.

Ezra takes a risk by using his Force abilities.  Fortunately Azmorigan is too busy fleeing for his life from Chopper to see, and Hondo loves Jedi.  (See again: classic romanticist at heart.)

“You must have many responsibilities.”  “Yeah.  Too many at the moment.”

This kid. :((((  He’s under such pressure.

Ezra’s little “Wait a minute.” side look here lol.

And he continues not to enjoy Hondo’s affection ha ha.

It’s cute but also my brain is wandering to the fridge on this one because:

A) Ezra is now comfortable with all the casual touches and gestures of physical affection from the Ghost crew, which mirrors how he’s found a new home with them and no longer belongs in Hondo’s world.

And B) given the events of last episode it’s not surprising Ezra is a bit touchy about weird strangers violating his personal boundaries.

“Maybe I would make a pretty good pirate.�� Inquisitors don’t hunt them do they?”  Honey you are Force Sensitive and already on their radar, hanging out with Hondo would only hide you for so long.

(Yet another thing that’s apparently been on his mind and adding to his anxieties.  In light of that his initial refusal to help Vizago makes more sense, the kid has so much on his plate already and just does not want to deal with anything else.)

Lol Ezra talking to Vizago like Vizago’s a problem child he’s babysitting.

Right, this whole scene right here is why I don’t do stories with casts of morally gray protagonists, the constant backstabbing and side-switching are exhausting.

Look, even Ezra’s exhausted.  Poor kid needs a nap he looks so tired.

Fortunately for Ezra, Chopper has his back, having put the Phantom on autopilot beforehand.  So he winds up not losing the Phantom (this time) and actually accomplishing the mission without really trying.

I do wanna see that missing scene where the Phantom returns to the Ghost and Hera’s all ready to let Ezra have it and then this weird Weequay pops out lolol.

They look so proud, like, “Awww that’s our little gremlin child.”

Aaaaand this little heartwarming look from Hondo is getting to me a bit this time around.

He’s so fond of Ezra ajkhaksfjfh.

Hera’s taking the whole “running off with the Phantom instead of doing his chores” thing remarkably well all things considered.  I guess it helps that he lucked into finding some generators.

There is no reason for this shot to be this pretty this is just a hanger.

*sobbing forever about how Hondo functions as narrative foil for how Ezra could have turned out if not for his Found Family and how that’s acknowledged in-text*

SEE PREVIOUS OBSERVATION ABOUT HOW EZRA IS USED TO AND COMFORTABLE WITH CASUAL AFFECTIONATE TOUCHING FROM HIS FAMILY.

I caught a lot of unexpected feels rewatching this episode, I’ve always liked it for being a fun Ezra-focused episode but I’m seeing just how it fits neatly into his character journey.  Things got hairy last episode, the stressors and pressure points (Rex and Kanan’s bickering) continue to increase and he got understandably overwhelmed.

The growing pains in his self-identity, questioning whether or not he even wants to be a Jedi at this point, just to get granted a glimpse of what his life might have looked like if he had continued on that self-serving path and realizing how much he’s changed... aaaaaaah I love it!

Another successful Friendship Fetch Quest accomplished.

[trollprincess]

Okay, so. Episode six of Wolf Pack:

THAT is why Blake doesn’t have a phone? That’s … that’s ridiculous. A phone didn’t break up her family, it was her dad being a loud abusive git and her mom cheating. THAT is what broke them up. C’mon, Blake, I know you’re a teenager, but I was hoping you were vaguely possessed of common sense.

Speaking of Blake, at least she and Phoebe made up, I guess. Tia murmuring at Phoebe and Phoebe being all, “Oh, shut up,” was super-cute. Too bad for all the eating.

Sooooo. Baron? Darren? Whatever his name is. I just … okay. I mean, it’s not the worst storyline this could have followed, but whatever.

Okay, you can’t tell me you brought in Gideon Emery to act his ass off in ONE episode and that’s it. I refuse to believe it.

Look, at least the previous mid-riff baring numbers FIT. That embroidered-looking thing Luna was wearing in the barn looked terrible.

As someone with an anxiety disorder, watching Everett be put on the spot like that at the party made my anxiety kick up HARD. Stop DOING that to him! Even if he’s not medicating and he feels better it’s still THERE.

Harlan has very fluffy hair. Because it’s full of SECRETS. And BAD GAY FLIRTING.

Why do I feel like the twins’ “real” father is going to show up in the last episode at the last moment so next season can be him trying to get his kids back? Which, of course, will only be an acceptable plotline if he does so by negotiating custody with Garrett and then the two fall in love after the pack thinks they’d make a cute couple and Parent-Trap them into getting together.

I don’t KNOW why I’m still watching, okay? I know I’m a sucker for “teens growing into their powers” stories, but I also know about shows run by Jeff Davis and how this way madness and bad writing lead.

Everett’s dad is very nice and genuinely concerned, and I’m just wondering when the fucking divorce will come because Jesus hopscotching Christ, y’all.

So SMG protecting the werewolf. Trying to capture it for testing or something? Still monster-hunting with a side business in murdering security guards? I … I don’t know anymore.

Remember the ice rink? Just the core four on TW going and having fun by themselves, even though there were bad things out there, being silly, enjoying themselves, everybody’s sober? Not that everybody NEEDS to be sober, mind you, but I feel like we went from “My mom does all the grocery shopping” and a natural lack of swearing given where TW aired to “Everybody at this party is higher than the the original Woodstock crowd” and “I can curse on Paramount Plus!” followed by a string of swear words even my curse-heavy vocabulary is impressed by. I don’t know, I guess I just miss the ice rink because it felt like that was more character-developing than the party at Tia’s and less like someone put [insert rave here] in the script and a supervisor came along to whack the writer with a newspaper and say, “No! Bad writer!” and had them fix it to … er, this.

On the one hand, shame Phoebe died. On the other hand, was it really necessary to drag the actress across a glass ceiling in a bikini top which was already threatening to structurally collapse in the last episode, much less during a blood-soaked body haul?

I’m going to need all these generic white boys to start wearing name tags. Except Harlan, who is fluffy, and Shaggy Napoleon or whatever we’re calling Luna’s horrible taste in men.

I’m not saying this show could make me a lot happier if the pack end up a polycule (obviously not Harlan and Luna together, but Luna/Blake and Harlan/Everett would be worth it), but I’m not NOT saying that either.

[unknownspecies]

Ship your moots + trope.

I dont have as much time as of late with holidays and family so i only did some mutuals buuuuuuuuur if i get another anon ask I’ll do the rest lol. enjoy! For those that didn’t get one send in an ask about you specifically whether to ask who i ship you with or (for those in this list) a more detailed elaboration!!!

@toorumi-deactivated20221231 + iwa;chaotic and sane trope

iwa makes sure to keep you in line. youll be his feral dog but sometimes, just sometimes, he’ll indulge in your shenanigans and youll find yourself with an extra pair of hands (whether it be helping you or helping you beat someone else up 😎) 

@zorotits + hirugami;one bed trope

this would happen either right before y’all gett either or right after. either way he’ll be flustered to no extent and you’ll be flirting with him to no extent (not helping at all, huh 🙄) ngl i see him trying to get you to sign a document stating that you wouldn’t try doing anything frisky to him during the hours of 10 pm to 6 am

@maplesuna + suna ; accidental confession trope

this is exactly what happened. hes the one who accidentally confesses to you after you happened to either find a folder filled with your pictures OR hes drunk and he makes a small comment on how he loves you. dw you make him elaborate later on ;)

@sookisaurus + oikawa/tsukishima (one k or two?); pining trope

alr bb. This man. he falls in love with you first and hardest. you gave no idea hope much he loved you before you NOTICED him let alone become friends with him. not to mention that he would find the most idiotic ways to try to comes when in reality it was him just being super annoying (oikawa) or acting like you don’t exist (kei. speaking of. i saw a liscensw plate that said “kei” for the first three characters) eventually yall get together then he gets more annoying with his affection >:|

@kuroosdarling + geto ; that piggyback trope

Aims im throwing a curveball at you and im shipping you with geto. you know that one trope where you either getdrunk, tired or your feet armor broke one way or another so you can’t walk properly? superhero geto is here to save the day! his back bro… 🤤🤤🤤 ok one second imma be right back after looking at some geto fanart. ahem ok anyways. geto’s muscular, wide, rock hard, sexy, mouth watering, eye catching back is now your resting spot. and he loves doing it too. So do yourself a favor and start buying cheap sandals ;)

@crescentkaze + kenma ; mutual pining trope

I would hate watching y’all. you guys are literally pining for each other and making it vvvvvv OBVIOUS. And EVERYONE ELSE CAN SEE THAT YALL LIKE EACH OTHER. both of you will walk up to me all hours of the day reciting POEMS that yall made for each other and crying that the other doesnt like you. i will kill myself before this ever happens but i swear yall will eventually get together then act all tsundere to each other afterwards then i will literally jump off a cliff 😐

@daiception + nishinoya ; idiots in love trope

this is a hilarious situation. i would love watching both of you fall in love with each other. tbh it wont be anything dramatic. it’ll mainly be yall doing this “Ayo noya you see that woman over there?” “The one with s bubble butt?” “Yeah her butt is nice isn’t it. anyways you see the guy behind her” “yuh” “why did he decide to come out in that outfit. he really looked in the mirror and said that he looked good” “ duuuuude. imma beat him up for scarring my lady’s eyes like that” daichi in the back: “noya no-“ you: “noya yES” (this situation is totally not because i watched some hipster in a restaurant with stupid fashion sense nope not at all)

[and-claudia]

Nancy Wheeler NSFW Headcannons

Warnings: Minors dni, MEAN Nancy (idk why but I LIVE for mean Nancy), fem x fem, teasing, orgasm denial, mentions of periods

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word count: <500

Mean Nancy! Mean Nancy! Mean Nancy!

Nancy is MEAN!! But I’m the best fucking way possible.

She’s in charge.

And she’s not mean in the sense that she’s going to degrade you and call you names necessarily, she’s just very much in charge. what she says goes.

She is a brat tamer as well.

You act up with her, you’re in a world of trouble. She will punish you until you wouldn’t even think about doing it again.

But her punishments are very different than what you’d expect. Easy when it’s your first one with her.

You just think she’s being super nice for a change. Like almost overly nice, but not quite.

It’s different, but you definitely like it. Love it in fact.

She’s being so good to you, making you feel the best you’ve ever felt before.

You’re so ready to tip over the edge and fall into complete bliss when she’s pulling away, getting dressed, leaving you there trembling.

And when you question her she’ll just shrug, “Maybe next time, you’ll listen. Now, stay there til I come back.” She says before just LEAVING.

And like her punishments don’t come right after an incident. It can be days or even weeks afterwards. Leaving you questioning EVERYTHING you’ve done recently.

She does eventually come back and when she sees you there still waiting for her, all the praises fall from her lips.

She’s so proud of you. She gets to work, picking back up where she left off and this time she lets you finish.

It also doesn’t matter if you’re going down on her, she's still in charge. Telling you what to do.

Not that you mind of course, you want to make her happy, don’t you?

The only time Nancy isn’t “mean” Nancy if when you’ve had a really bad day and just need her to take care of you or when you’re on your period

She knows how bad cramps can feel and that sometimes sex can help

She’d be so gentle with you and make sure you’re okay the whole time

Nancy will take care of you afterwards though

She makes sure you’re both cleaned up, she’s offer for you to join her in the shower (of course you accept)

This one’s not as nsfw but y’all also get away with a lot because yalls parents just think your good friends so having sleepovers is completely normal. And her letting you sleep in her shirt that smells like her and vice versa is definitely a bonus bc friends share shirts all the time, right??

Nancy Taglist:

[dorotheataylor]

Who he really loves

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Reader Summary - Who knew that one star-gazing night and a simple question could change everything?

Warnings: Super ‘fluffy’ (iykyk), very very little angst in between and as always my poor English :)

Word count - 1.3k

A/N: I've had this idea for a while so decided why not post it. So here it is. Hope y’all enjoy <3

_____________________________________________________________

The cold prickly grass was nipping at your arms and legs through your clothes as you laid down near the Black Lake, and warmth radiating from your side where Harry Potter laid. The light from the stars and moon was the only source of light. The dim lanterns of Hogwarts seemed like fairy lights.

It wasn't uncommon for you and your best friend Harry to sneak out of the castle at late nights, or in this case very early in the morning. At this time, it was 1.45 am. For the most part it would be a comfortable silence, you both star gazing, deep in thoughts, or small talks about random things.

You had always loved space and everything about stars because everything about them fascinated you. So while you two lay in the grass, you often looked at the constellations or wondered about moon and it never tired you.

"Um, Y/N?" Harry called breaking the silence. You hummed in response not taking your eyes off the night sky.

"I need your opinion on something. Something important." His voice wavered a little, so this had to be important if he was so nervous about it.

"Oh okay, go on," you said and waited for him to continue.

"So, um, well, I-I think I'm in- in love with two different people," he said not looking at you but the moon and placing his one arm behind his head like a pillow, "and I don't know who should I go after."

"Well," you paused not really knowing what to say as no one ever has asked you such type of question.

"Well, tell me about the first girl. What do you think of her, how you feel for her." You said quietly finally getting a head start.

"Well, I've know her since our first year but didn't really start talking to her until our last. She is really pretty and I do like her, and I want to protect her but I think these feelings that I have kind of shrunk, when I realized I liked the second one. I know I still I like her but not just as much as I used to," he finished slightly glancing towards you. You were thinking.

"If you don't like her as much as you used to do, why are you still hanging on?" you asked glancing at him as well.

The moonlight made your skin glow and your eyes got a nice twinkle to them, and that one glance made Harry's heart flutter.

"Because I think she is the only one I really have a chance with and can have a two-sided relationship." He turned his gaze back to the sky.

You thought even more. There were so many girls out there who would date him in a heartbeat. And okay, you included. Because even though you've tried to deny it, you had fallen for him. And you'd fallen hard. Very hard.

You were best friends for years and it just happened. Maybe because it was the way he looked, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way his hair would always be messy, you just couldn't help it.

But this isn't about you, it's about Harry.

"Okay, now tell me about the second one." You said slowly coming out if your thoughts.

His face turned pink, "I realized it only a couple of months ago, but I thought it was just a crush but I don't know when this crush became more. I'm friends with her, and the more I am with her I only fall for her more. But I don't know if she feels the same." He said his voice getting smaller and smaller.

"So you knew you liked-loved the first one, correct? But then you fell for the second one?" you glanced at him.

"Yeah." He said simply.

"Well, who do you think you should go for?" you ask looking back at the sky.

"Um, I think I should go for the first one, as I loved her first right? And I have more chances with her." He said with the same quiet voice. "But who do you think I should go after?" he asked his hands getting sweaty as he waited for your answer.

You thought for some more time and finally came to a conclusion.

"I think you should go for the... second girl." You said. Harry's heart bounced hearing you.

"Why do you think that?" he asked a little more quietly looking at you with pink face.

"Because you said you still loved the first one when you realized your feeling for second, right? So if you truly loved the first one, then why would you fall for second one?"

The only sounds that could be heard now were of the crickets, some owls, rustling of winds in the trees and water from the lake.

Harry laid there quietly, taking in every word you said. It all made sense now.

Why he would mostly be awkward with you, why he would mostly get nervous when you're around, why you were the only one who could make him smile even in his dark moments, why he would seek only your cuddles and sweet words whenever he would have a bad day.

Thoughts went through his head and then he realized. He was truly and unconditionally, deeply and undeniably, in love with you. He was in love with your smile, your laugh, your silly jokes, your personality. He was in love with everything about you.

He just thought he loved Ginny but it was you all along.

"Why did you ask me this, anyways?" you asked bringing him out of his thoughts.

"The first girl asked me out on a date and I wanted to know who I really wanted to be with before I said yes." He admitted. You felt something inside you by thinking of him being someone else.

"And have you made up your mind?" you asked looking at him.

He had a soft look in his eyes and even though the night was chilly on the December night, they still gave a warm look.

"Yeah, I'm going with girl two." He said casually.

"Really?" you asked with a teasing voice.

"Yeah, I'm gonna tell Ginny how I feel about her tomorrow." He said as he let out a deep breath.

Your heart sunk deep in your stomach when you heard him. Some tears came but you blinked them back. Was Ginny the girl he loved?

"You- your in l-love with G-Ginny?" you asked trying to sound as casual as possible.

"No, she was girl one. She asked me out earlier today and I'll tell her tomorrow what I feel about her." He replied.

You were somewhat relieved hearing this but still worried who this second girl might be. He can love whoever he wants and it couldn't be possibly you right? You didn't stand a chance. But maybe you could help him get with her if you knew who she was. Then he would be happy. And that was all you wanted.

"So who's the second?" you asked your heart beating faster than ever.

Harry softly smiled to himself and looked at you. The smile never left his face. His green eyes glistening behind his round glasses from moonlight and his messy hair all over his forehead, you couldn't help but stare with pink cheeks.

"You."

[lunarticxenia]

Moon Signs Pt. 1

My take on moon signs based off people I know! Now personally, I tend to have more strong opinions on my favorite moon signs than favorite sun signs. I feel like moon signs really indicate more about a person’s personality than their sun sign, imo. It does rule emotions and behavior after all. With sun signs I struggle with picking favorites because I do genuinely have people I like of every zodiac sign. I just go by the number of people I like from each zodiac sign. Anyhoo, here’s my view on each moon sign! 

Note: These are p long bc I have such strong thoughts on moon signs so I’m splitting it into two parts. :) 

🍂 Aries Moon: Ahhh, my moon sign. I won’t be biased though, I promise. So Aries moons based off other people I know is that we low-key got anger issues LMAO. Every single Aries moon I’ve met besides myself has anger issues, with the exception of one person and she still gets irritated easily. Aries Moons are also extremely sensitive, and they tend to be overlooked for that since they’re fire signs. I’ve found that a lot of what they get angry about has to do with their feelings, if they feel they’ve been wronged this really can make them angry as they are super sensitive. They also get angry when they feel like people aren’t listening to them, as they take this very personally. I’ve also noticed that Aries moons are EXTREMELY honest, they will tell it how it is and they are extremely blunt. They don’t like to beat around the bush, and they are very direct with how they feel about something. Aries moons are also extremely passionate and spontaneous especially in relationships; they’re the ones who wanna kiss in the rain and ride horses into the sunset, that is if you can get them to settle down with you LMAO. Nah all jokes, they’re picky about who they want, but once they really fall for someone it’s very hard for them to let go. They’re also so competitive, they will play dirty. My grandpa used to let me win in checkers as a kid, my dad (who’s an Aries moon) NEVER let me win. He said me losing would help build character LMFAO. He just didn’t wanna lose.They also have strong personalities and can be SUPER impulsive. Also, if they wanna do something, they WILL do it. No one is gonna stop them. If they wanna go somewhere at 3am, they’re doing it. Sorry. You can’t stop them. LMAO. Aries moons also love to be in touch with their inner child, my dad is an Aries moon and bought himself an arcade machine out of nowhere LMAO. I also like to collect shells and watch Disney movies to remind me of my childhood. They also tend to change their views and opinions on things a lot, and mind you they have intense emotions about these things. So it can be hard to keep up w them. 

🍂 Taurus Moon: Taurus moons are just so calm, it’s scary LMAO. I know a few of them, and even if they’re anxious about something you can never tell. They always have this calm demeanor and just seem so unbothered by everything. Taurus moons also LOVE money and the finer things in life. The male Taurus moons I know work a lot just so they can have a lot of money. One of them literally said to me “Money talks” after explaining to me why they work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day doing two jobs. The crazy thing is, despite doing all that extra work, he just seemed so unbothered about it LMAO. The female Taurus moons I know tend to love really expensive clothes and dressing up. This Taurus moon I work with has such nice clothes and always dresses like she’s on a Vogue cover. Like I said, Taurus moons LOVE money and the finer things in life like expensive clothes. If they aren’t the types to dress up or be workaholics, they desire comfort. They would rather lay in bed and take hot bathes than be bothered to do all that extra stuff. They also might like to eat out at expensive restaurants, and are “foodies”. They also might be big lovers of music and have lots of different music tastes. Also, Taurus moons? STUBBORN. Good luck trying to get them to change their mind on something. Also, despite them wanting all the luxuries and comfort of life, they are SUPER grounded. They do not live in a dream world, they see life for what it is, and prefer to be on the ground than have their heads in the clouds. Also, Taurus moons, I’m sorry, but y’all can be lazy. I work with three of them, and they can be lazy. They will not do more than the bare minimum. Also, their anger is low-key scary. Especially since it can come out of nowhere since they’re calm all the time, you never know when they’re angry and if you catch them at the wrong time... well, rip. They also tend to be introverted- even if they’re social, you will not know anything about them unless you’re besties with them or related to them. Doesn’t matter how well you know them, they don’t air their dirty laundry and keep their private life private. Also one last thing, omg these people sing all the time. They love singing to themselves, every single one I’ve met does that LMAO. Anyway, love my Taurus moons. 

🍂 Gemini Moon: Gemini moons love to make people laugh LMAO and love to just sit down and have good talks with people. Their minds NEVER stop working. Good luck trying to get them to stop talking once they know you. They can and will talk about anything for hours. Now, I do admire that, but sometimes I just wanna relax and they won’t stop talking to me LMFAO. My dad’s girlfriend is a Gemini moon and at family gatherings she loves to dance around and try to get everyone else to dance. I find that Gemini moons are very active and love to move around, and try to get everyone to have fun. Definitely the life of the party. They’re super amusing and also love to tell jokes and funny stories. Now not all of them are extroverts especially if they have an earth sun sign. So that is something to consider. My cousin is a Gemini moon and tends to be more introverted, however, once she’s comfortable around someone and knows someone she’s super goofy and loves to make people laugh. Gemini moons also love to learn, they’re always teaching themselves about something. My cousin who’s a Gemini moon just randomly started teaching herself how to do sign language (she’s good at it also)! These people are also SUPER adaptable, they can get along with any kind of personality and can adapt to any situation. I’ve also noticed that they love to playfully roast people and annoy them LMAO. I have noticed that they struggle with reading the room, they tend to just continue to annoy someone and can take it too far, which can get kind of annoying. They’re also extremely curious and are always asking questions. They love to ask random questions without any context. It’s a quirk a lot of them have. Trying to tell a story to them can be frustrating because if you mention certain terms they’ll ask you what they mean LMFAO. My dad was telling a story about how he used surfing to explain physics concepts in class and his girlfriend asked what the concepts were and what they mean. Also, they’re really good at giving advice. These people would make great psychologists imo. This girl I used to talk to (who’s a Gemini moon) actually is becoming a psychologist, so there you go LMAO. 

🍂Cancer Moon: Oh Cancer moons...you guys are so sensitive. They feel everything and anything. I haven’t met a Cancer moon that isn’t an empath. They are extremely good at reading other people and sensing their motives. My mother is a Cancer moon, and she’s always been able to tell who’s toxic in my life. She doesn’t even have to meet them either, just based off of stories I tell her, she can pick it up right away. Now, everyone always says Cancer moons are super close with their family and that’s definitely not always the case. The Cancer moons I’ve met have actually had a lot of problems with their family. Now the thing that I’ve noticed with these placements is that despite how toxic their family is, they always stick by them. Even if they’re not close. So I wouldn’t say they’re all super close with their families, but they always stick up for them, which can be an issue if their family is toxic. Also, Cancer moons, SUPER MOODY. I’m sorry but like I’m a Cancer sun and they’re ten times more moody than I am LMFAO. I’ve always said they act more like the stereotypical Cancer than Cancer suns. Also, this is a super underrated placement for humor. Every Cancer moon I’ve met has been super funny. Also, a super underrated placement for anger issues. Everyone says oh yeah Aries moons have anger issues, like yes, BUT HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN CANCER MOON ANGER?! Y’all Taylor Swift is a Cancer moon and wrote a whole album about how fed up she was about the media mistreating her and the whole Kimye thing (rightfully so) but y’all see my point. They can and will fight you. They also tend to be introverted, even if they’re social, (which I rarely see), they would much rather keep to themselves. I’ve also noticed that they’re very nostalgic a lot. My Cancer moon ex used to just randomly go through childhood photos and would show them to me. They’re also EXTREMELY protective over people they love, they will KILL for the people they love. They also love to talk about their dream homes and interior decorating a lot? My Cancer moon ex was OBSESSED with coming up with his dream house and would literally draw out diagrams for me to see. My mother too, she wants to redecorate her apartment and was showing me all the potential furniture that was gonna be put in. Oh Cancer moons, LMAO. 

🍂 Leo Moon: Oh Leo moons. You guys can be so dramatic LMAO. Every Leo moon I’ve met is so dramatic; these are the types of people who get up and move around when telling a story and also do dramatic hand gestures. These are the types of people who post a black screen in middle school on Snapchat saying “Don’t hmu.” LMAO. My Leo moon friend gets so mad when I make that joke, but it’s so true. These people are also naturally super creative, the Leo moons I know love to decorate and draw. Even if they don’t do any outright creative hobbies, they have a creative streak to them. It’s weird though because despite them being very dramatic when it comes to them being angry, they struggle with expressing their personal problems to other people. (This however can be changed with other placements, but I’ve found this to be true in many cases). They don’t want people to think that they’re weak, so they put up a tough front to hide that they’re hurting. Also, Leo moons, are indeed the hype friends. My Leo moon friends gas up my Instagram posts so much. They’re also extremely loyal and don’t like to leave people out, they hate that kind of shit. They’re also extremely accepting of others, my Leo moon friend was the first person I came out to, and they accepted me right away. They also love to take pictures of EVERYTHING. Like when you go out with them, they will make you wait before eating your food so they can take video of your food together LMAO. They love to capture every moment, I personally find it very endearing. Also, a lot of people say Leo moons are super cocky. I don’t find this to be true. They can come off that way, but I’ve found they tend to actually be pretty insecure and they try to hide it by coming off as confident. I feel like Leo moons tend to put on a show a lot to hide how they truly feel, which makes it hard to get to know them. It makes me sad because they truly are such kind hearted people and all they want is to feel validation. I also found that they love to go above and beyond to make sure everyone else is happy and tend to put themselves last. I wish y’all didn’t do that, you deserve to be happy too. ;( 

🍂 Virgo Moon: Workaholics. That’s how I’m starting this LMAO. My friend is a Virgo moon and works her ass off. She goes above and beyond in school for starters. For this anatomy course we had together, she sent me a whole diagram she made of the human brain on Notability and it was so intricately made. She also works her ass off at her job and takes care of her siblings. I feel like this falls into Virgo placements putting others before themselves. Virgo moons are definitely the types to be like this. They want to make everyone happy and they want to feel useful so they do all these extra things to feel that way. Virgo moons are also super smart, and have the best study methods. Low-key jealous. They have this incredible drive and are always on top of things and have a routine. Also Virgo moons LOVE animals. My friend who’s a Virgo moon, works at a dog sitting business and has 6 pets at home. They LOVE animals. They also like honesty and bluntness; they will provide you with that as well. They don’t like beating around the bush or lying to make other people feel better. You wanna know if you look bad in a dress? Ask a Virgo moon, LMFAO. I’ve also found that they struggle with wanting to be perfect all the time, and struggle with anxiety. As I said, they want to be the best at everything, and this can be a big source of anxiety for them. These people also find themselves attracting people who they want to “fix”. They also give amazing advice and are super reliable. Also, last minute plans? They HATE them. Want a Virgo moon to hate you? Try making spontaneous plans with them LMAO. Virgo moons also have great memories; they’ll remember every little detail about you. Also Virgo moons are the types to take charge in a group project and run the whole thing because they don’t trust anyone. Virgo moons also always appear to be calm and collected, even though many of them frequently deal with anxiety a lot. Also, they’re low-key underrated for humor. They have a very dry and self-deprecating sense of humor LMAO. They also go above and beyond in relationships because they enjoy seeing the people they love being happy. 

Anyhoo, this wraps up part one!  Also these are just my opinions, so don’t get offended I tried to praise and drag all of them equally <3 

Part 2 here. 

[virusinfected-memes]

TIK TOK SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 3 ;

50 starters. CW: alcohol, cussing, sexual themes. Some starters are just random quotes from Tik Tok creators, some starters are from Tik Tok trends that have popped up over the past year or so. The original sources of these trends are from various memes, shows, songs, and other popular media. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed! [PARTS: 1 - 2]

"Guess who’s terrible at processing emotions? This guy!”

“If I have to gain any more character development in 2022, I think it will be the start of my villain origin story.”

“Did you get enough love, my little dove? Why do you cry?”

“What happened to us? We used to be best friends.”

“I’m so tired of shonen. Please release yourself from the shackles of shonen anime.”

“Honestly? We’re about to get colonized by aliens, so what can we do? Count your days. Count your fucking days, human beings, ‘cause as soon as the aliens drop, I’m gonna be an alien’s whore. I have no loyalty to the human race.”

“I wish that I never met you. Everything else is horrible by comparison.”

“I know my girlfriend is a witch.”

“It’s gross stuff, but it tastes good when you put it all together.”

“Is it me? Am I the drama?”

“Dear God, why is it so thick?”

“ ‘Spuddle’ is a seventeenth century word that means to feel extremely busy while achieving absolutely nothing.”

“This relationship isn’t healthy... I think we need to go on a steady diet.”

“Like, I’ve never wanted to be thrown across a room before, but... I feel things right now that I’ve never felt before.”

“Beans on toast does not look attractive. You know what? Let’s look up some beans on toast.”

“I have alcohol. I don’t have feelings.”

“Y’all wanna be edgy so bad.”

“All my life, I had to fight with no ass.”

“The Lord knows our hearts, okay? If the Lord didn’t want me to play, he shouldn’t have made me foolish. The Lord knew what they were doing when they made me. Shit! How the Lord gonna make me a fool and then don’t want me to play around? Like, make it make sense. It don’t.”

“This is great. Just the three of us. You, me, and this brick wall you built.”

“Are you falling in love? I have a feeling you are.”

“I know something you don’t. I know something you will never know.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked, but I missed you, you idiot.”

“The eyeliner might be poppin’, but the mental health be droppin’.”

“Anything that happens to you past midnight is between you and your god.”

“You know it’s not the same as it was.”

“Do you think you’re better off alone?”

“If I only could, I’d make a deal with God, and I’d get him to swap our places.”

“Dream when you’re feelin’ blue.”

“I don’t make my Sims woohoo. They be fuckin’.”

“I was gonna say something, but I said I was gonna be nice today.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere only we know?”

“When I was thirteen, me and my best friend had imaginary anime boyfriends.”

“I miss how Halloween used to be.”

“He’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He’s my sweet cheese. My good time boy.”

“_____, wake up! I don’t like this!”

“If you wanna stop me, you’re gonna have to fuckin’ kill me!”

“Okay, but that’s not the point.”

“Open up the door. I only wanna play a little more.”

“Don’t you ever be wasting your good energy.”

“What’s it like being ugly and sad?”

“And nothing can go wrong... OH, NOO! IT ALL WENT WRONG!”

“My money don’t jingle, jingle. It folds.”

“Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t wanna think anymore.”

“Is your middle name cheddar cheese? ‘Cause you’re looking extra sharp today.”

“The CDC just called and they told me your smile is super contagious.”

“That’s suspicious... That’s weird.”

“I do not have time for this! I don’t have time for you!”

“Who the hell’s still an Elvis stan in the year of 2022? Go to therapy. Get help.”

“That’s so cute! Are you shitting me? Capitalism really popped off today.”

[i-arch-my-backula]

New life: Thomas Hewitt x gn reader

This is kinda based on another post I saw before but I don’t have their @. Anyway I can’t get Tommy boy off my mind rn so I thought why not do something for him. This is gonna take place in the late 60′s like in the move. I hope y’all enjoy. Also this is gonna be super long because I just wanted to keep this going and honestly I might make this a full on fic if it gets popular enough. Part two here 

Warnings: Violence, torment, blood, strong language 

You just wanted to go start a new life. Away from your toxic ex and shitty friends. Away from the shitty town you lived in. But you had to get in that car crash and the sheriff had to take you back to his house. Now you’re tied to a chair at a dining table with a woman cleaning your face with a wet rag. Tears are falling and you’re pleading for her to help you. “We gotta make you look nice for my boy. He’s gonna really like you. We needed to get him a pretty partner.” She says, putting the rag back in the bowl she had with her. 

“Please just help me. I won’t tell anyone please. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” 

“Don’t lose that pretty voice of yours now. Tommy’s gonna be here soon.” You keep crying, tugging at the ropes binding you to the chair. Cuts and bruises ache and sting all over your body. You can feel blood soaking your jeans and your shirt. You’re terrified of who Thomas is gonna be. You’ve seen the way the house looks, how the sheriff acted, you’re gonna die here. After waiting a few more agonizing minutes the woman calls out for someone. “Tommy come up here! I’ve got someone you’ll wanna meet!” You hear heavy footsteps coming up from the basement and soon enough walks in a large man with a leather mask on the bottom half of his face. You’re frozen in fear while you look at him. He pulls up a chair and sits by you. Your breathing is fast and you keep your eyes on his hands, still struggling to break free. His clothes are dirty and bloody. You can only imagine what he’s been doing. You can feel yourself start to slip into a panic attack. Your lungs get hard to fill and you’re practically screaming trying to get air. Thomas just sits there, he must find this normal. How often does this family kidnap people? After a few minutes of you trying to calm your breathing Thomas kinda catches onto whats going on. He unties one of your hands and holds it firm on his chest, making you feel his chest rise and fall with air. After a few minutes of this you do calm down, unfortunately he ties your hand back down and it’s time for dinner. The sheriff and another man join at the table with the woman. The sheriff says grace and you focus on the bowl of food in front of you. There’s light talk and you can hear the sheriff comment about you. 

“Do we really need them? Tommy’s fine on his own.” 

“Well Hoyt the boy does need someone with him. He can’t be alone forever.” Said boy is still next to you, eating. You tense even more when you see his hand move to your bowl. He takes a spoonful and brings it to your mouth. You shut it and turn your head away. He moves the spoon to you but you move your head again. This goes on for a bit until the woman speaks again. “Tommy go bring them up to your room. They’re yours now.” 

“What? No, no you have to let me leave!” You shout. Thomas unties you and picks you up bridal style and carries you up the stairs. You’re fighting against him and screaming. Although he’s holding you tight, there’s something gentle to him. He opens a door upstairs and puts you on his bed. He locks the door and looks down at you. You look up at him now, he hasn’t said a single word to you yet. “Are you gonna hurt me?” You ask him. He shakes his head. Now you can really feel how sore your body is. You groan feel tears start to form again. “Your name is Thomas right?” He nods again. “I’m Y/N. This is your room right?” He nods again. “Ok well um it’s nice to meet you Thomas. I um like your mask.” He picks you up under your arms and sits you further on the bed. He moves to where you were and now you can see eye to eye. ‘His eyes are a lovely dark brown, it reminds you of a stuffed toy you had as a kid. “Does your family kill people Tommy?” He nods. You take a shaky breath and pick at your nails. “Why do you kill people?” He makes an eating like motion and you feel your stomach drop. “Oh um that’s interesting. You’re not gonna kill me right?” He nods. “Ok then. As long as you keep me safe I won’t try to run.” You feel exausted  after today. You lift up your shirt and see all of the cuts and bruises you have, your shirt filthy and blood soaked, just like your pants. 

“I’d hate to ask you this Tommy but I need new clothes.” He nods and walks over to a dresser in his room. He grabs a shirt and hands it to you. It’s way to big but it’s better than the one you have now. You stand up and turn around. You take off your shirt and put on the new one. It hangs off of your body and you turn back around. You take off your boot and really feel how bad your feet ache. “Tommy do you think you have any pants that could fit me?” You ask. He thinks for a minute then nods. He opens another drawer in the dresser and pulls out some jeans. There’s dried blood on them and you sharply inhale. You take them from him and look at them. “Are these from someone else?” He nods and you sigh. You turn around again and put them on. They’re a bit baggy but it doesn’t matter. Turning back to him you notice he’s looking at the ground. “Tommy?” He looks back up at you. He seems softer now somehow. He hasn’t hurt you yet. Maybe if you just behave he’ll let you go. “Where should I sleep?” He points to the bed. “But where will you sleep?” He keeps his point on the bed. “Oh, um ok then. Just don’t touch me.” You climb into his bed and as soon as your head hits the pillows you’re out. Wondering what this new life with this family holds. 

[yesimwriting]

To Be Alone

VAGUE SPOILER WARNING FOR SHADOW AND BONE BOOK SERIES-- I try hard not to mention why the Darkling/General Kirigan is the bad guy so that I don’t spoil anything,, but the reader finds out that he lies about his identity and that he’s super sketchy/not a good guy (again,, I avoided as many specifics as possible to keep it from being spoiler-y)

Warnings: lowkey manipulation, kissing/makeout, slight fingering

A/n y’all drove me to this lol,, pls be nice!! This is the closest to full on smut I’ve ever written!! Ahh I’m lowkey scared to post

Summary: the reader finds out something about the Darkling/General Kirigan, he finds a way to convince her to stay 

--

No amount of evidence will ever be enough to convince me fully. A part of me will always hold onto unjustifiable doubt because a part of me hopes that if I hold onto the lies tight enough they’ll turn into the truth. But that’s not how the world works. 

General Kirigan. Ravka put its faith in him. I put my faith in him. I did more than that. I pushed aside my reservations and doubt in order to try and comfort him when he spoke of loneliness. Was all that a lie as well? 

No. I can’t afford to think of the emotional side of it all, because if I do I may find myself incapable of moving from this spot. I don’t have time to reflect on it all, to try and unravel hopeful lies and manipulative truths. That can be done when I’m not here. If I stay here, he’ll know I know and he’ll stop me from...what? What am I supposed to do next? I could find someone with some level of power to warn. 

“There you are.” Kirigan. I’m turned towards the window, not facing him, but there is no weariness or malice in his voice. He has no reason to suspect my suspicion. “Are you unwell?” 

Calm. I need to pass as calm. Not turning, I force myself to ignore the endearing hint of concern in his voice. “No.” I can hear his measured footsteps. “Why would you think that?” 

“I haven’t seen you all day,” he’s directly behind me now. If I turn, I’ll practically be against his chest. “And you didn’t come see me last night.” 

Oh. I knew it was a mistake to begin to pull on such a small thread so close to when he expected to see me, but it kept gnawing on me. That doubt. That tiny thing I couldn’t ever let go off. “I fell asleep.” No--I cringe at my impulsive response. He knows how difficult it is for me to fall asleep. “Yesterday was just really...draining.” 

In an easy movement, he places his hand on my shoulder. It’s a silent request for me to turn. Exhaling, I obey. Why? I could lie to myself and say that I’m listening to him in order to kill his suspicions, but the effect he has on me is undeniable. Even before touching each other became a casual thing on his part, my body wanted to react to him. 

He’s quick to cup my face, tilting my chin up slightly so that I can’t avoid his gaze. “What troubles you, little dove?” A nickname for when he’s feeling particularly gentle. Thoughts of the evil he has to be twist my stomach as my face flushes. Kirigan’s thumb brushes over the corner of my bottom lip, stalling as I fight the urge to melt into the contact. I meet his tense gaze cautiously. “You said nothing could make you look at me differently.” No. There’s no way he figured out my change with one look alone. I’ll deny it. I’ll do what I need to do to be convincing, and then I’ll manage to escape. His grip on my shoulder tightens. “Don’t you dare lie to me again.” 

The urge to snap and point out the sick irony of him telling me not to lie at him almost forces me to break. His gaze starts to shift away from me--towards the half packed escape bag I’d been in the middle of constructing. I stretch my arms forward, desperate to keep his gaze on me and away from what I can’t explain. 

Kirigan’s free hand moves to pull my hand off of his cheek, but he pauses, eyes shutting in peaceful contentment. “What do you know?” 

I expected his words to be angry, to border on violent...but he just sounds tired. Please, Saints, let me be wrong. “Is there anything to know?” The only reaction I get is the slightest stall of his breathing. “You said you didn’t want to be alone anymo--” 

“I don’t.” The harshness of his words almost coax a small flinch from me. 

Swallowing back the knot in my stomach, I exhale slowly. “A part of not being alone is being honest.” 

His eyes finally open. I don’t dare move as he moves my hand off of his cheek so that he can brush his lips against my knuckles. I suppress an embarrassing shudder. “You wouldn’t have stayed--if you knew you wouldn’t ha--” 

No denial. I can’t--I can’t do this. “You know what the worst part is?” I can’t believe I’m about to say this. I can’t believe it’s true. “I might have.” Those words break something in me as I force myself away from him. The lack of contact leaves me more frozen than ever. “I might have! I might have been able to bear all the monstrous things you’ve done if you had just--” 

“What?!” He meets my outburst with one of equal power. “You might have stayed regardless?” The way he scoffs leaves me feeling like a wandering child. “You might have still looked at me like I hung the stars in the sky instead of like I’m the darkness they fight against?” I stay silent as he steps forward, quick to hold my chin in place with his long fingers. “I couldn’t risk you on possibility.” Kirigan’s gaze is so intense, a part of me is surprised that shadows don’t come at me--drowning me in darkness and him. “And don’t think me foolish enough to believe that someone like you would understand that I have to do what I’m doing--” 

“Have to?” No--how did I almost let him lure me back in so easily. I pull myself away, approaching my open wardrobe. “That’s not past tense.” He’s still--he’s still actively hurting people. Why had I been so stupidly naive to think that maybe this was all history? “I--I can’t do this.” 

Each step towards the exit of the room chips away at a piece of my soul. “You’re not walking away from me,” his strong grip is on my arm in a sharp instinct, “I won’t--I can’t be alone again.” 

I swallow back the lump of emotion in my throat. “You already are.” 

His eyes are pleading, pools of frightened adoration. “No--no,” he steps towards me, not releasing his grip on my arm, “You’re hurt that I lied, but now I’ll never have to lie to you again.” I push against his grip. Kirigan doesn’t release me. “Y/n,” my name is a lament from his lips, “Please.” 

My eyes round out as my heart leaps into my chest. “I used to think that you were only touched by the darkness, but now I’m not sure you can tell where the darkness ends and you begin.” His grip just barely falters. Maybe it’s acceptance. 

I shift weakly, a softer attempt to escape. His grip tightens even more than before as he tugs me forward. The reminder of his physical strength leaves me frozen in shock. I can’t read his expression, but something about him has darkened. When I don’t pull away again, his thumb brushes up and down my forearm. The silkiness of his touch is warm temptation. I inhale slowly as he moves his other arm in order to touch my shoulder. The contact is almost shy. 

“Kirigan,” my voice betrays me, breaking as his fingers trace down my collar, “What--what are you doing?” 

He tilts his head, taking in the way his touch rids my body of fight. “Nothing, really.” His voice is low, supple in its assuredness. “You’re the only person who has ever seen me--and for you to leave me after that.” 

“No,” I try to step back, but my body freezes as he toys with the collar of my dress, “What I saw--what I found out--that wasn’t you.” 

“It’s who I have to make myself be,” he whispers, “I’m doing what needs to be done.” 

“That logic can earn you a lot,” my words are careful, “But it cannot earn you me.” 

His hand brushes past my neck, finding the root of my hair. Kirigan pulls on it slightly, forcing me to expose my lower jaw and neck. I’m still as he leans forward, warm breath fanning across my skin. I fight against a shiver in vain as his lips brush down my skin, only stopping as he nips the base of my neck. I can’t help the small sound of surprise that escapes me. 

“Are you sure about that?” Blood rushes to my face, motivated by both embarrassment and something else. “Little dove, don’t ruin us.” His touch is warm, but his words leave me with an uncomfortable chill. In an attempt to escape the coldness, I half-press myself into the trail of soft and desperate kisses he’s leaving down my neck.

Kirigan pauses, exhaling slowly, and I feel some mental strength return to me. “There can’t be an us--not like this.” 

“Y/n.” He never uses my name. “You are the only light I know.” His words steal something from me as he pulls away enough to look me in the eyes. “I can’t handle the weight of solitude anymore--it’s worse than the dark.”

 I am unflinching, watching him with a markman’s care. Kirigan takes my silence as a positive. I don’t move as his gaze drops to my lips before he presses his own together. I don’t move as he destroys the distance between us like it’s some type of unbearable weight. His lips meet mine with enough force to bruise my face. The surprise of it gives him the chance to coax my lips into parting as his hands move to either side of my face. My body reacts without my permission, letting him deepen the kiss. Every time I find some kind of free will, Kirigan pushes it away with some kind of tactful lull of his tongue. Keeping his control, Kirigan ends the kiss by grazing sharp teeth against my bottom lip. 

I’m left panting. “You’re--you lied, Kirigan--I--” 

“You told me once you could never see me as a monster.”

“I said that to a version of you that technically doesn’t exist.” 

The grief in my chest and desire in my stomach twist in a nauseating way. Kirigan’s eyes watch me patiently, a pain similar to my own reflected in them. “Who I am when I’m with you is less fictitious than any identity I’ve ever given myself.”

The vulnerability in his voice is as alluring and distracting as the kiss. I find myself thinking of the warmth of his mouth against my skin. He had kissed me like the cure for ancient solitude could come from me. I think he had a point, because now that he’s not touching me in that way I feel the familiar tugs of cold emptiness. 

“I don’t understa--” My words are cut off by his lips brushing against mine. 

His touch is soft, but it’s far from shy as he draws out the kiss. It’s an attempt to keep me on edge, to keep me wanting him enough to push past my doubts. “Y/n,” there’s a reverent quality to his voice, “I--” Kirigan grabs the collar of my dress, pulling me to him sharply. His kiss conveys things that neither of us truly understand. “Don’t go.” 

I don’t want to. The realization is a cruel wave crashing against my chest. “You lie to everyone, you lie to me--you--you hurt and destroy and I--” One of his hands brushes against the hem of my dress. “What are you,” the words are supposed to be sharp, but my resolve melts as his hand presses firmly against my thigh, “Doing?” 

“You know me,” he draws out each word as his fingers graze towards the inside of my thighs. The cool metal of his rings are practically ice against my flushed skin. “Little dove, trust me.” 

My nails dig into my palms as I try to ignore what he’s doing. “I did and you betrayed me.” 

“I couldn’t lose you,” he whispers, thumb inching up my inner thigh.

I press my lips together, fighting against a natural reaction. “You did lose me.” 

Kirigan’s eyes darken as his grip on my thigh tightens. “We’ll move past this.” He’s both pleading and assured. “I think I know how to make it up to you.” He trails his hand up my thigh swiftly, stopping with his hand on my lower hip. Shamelessly, he toys with the hem of my underwear. “The only thing that’s really changed is that now I’m touching you like this.” 

The only thing I can do is gape at him. He’s a villain, his hands are coated in unnecessarily spilled blood, and I am helpless against his slightest touch. I should try pushing him away or at the very least resist his blatant advantages. His fingers brush down my underwear, stopping at a growing wet spot. The knowing look he gives me burns my core. I try to keep my expression hard in a final form of protest, but when he presses his pointer finger against me all the resolve in me is shattered. 

My eyebrows draw together as a small sound escapes me, “Kirigan.” I can’t tell if it’s praise or a warning. 

He pauses, hand retracting slightly at my whining. “Y/n,” his other hand cups my cheek. I lean into the contact without permission from my body. “There is only one name that I have not given myself and only one name I want to hear you breathe like that.” His thumb traces my lips softly. I don’t move as he leans forward, turning his lips towards my ear. 

“Aleksander.” His name is nothing more than a breath, a stolen heartbeat on his lips. 

He presses his fingers against where I’m the weakest again. My hips grind forward instinctually, desperate for more contact as he kisses the top of my jaw. 

“Aleksander.” The name escapes me in the form of a broken moan. Speaking it feels more intimate than the way he’s touching me. 

There’s the slightest pause in his consuming actions. “Again,” he breathes, “Say my name again.” His request is so soft it feels like he’s more at my mercy than I am at his. 

My eyes shut as his teeth graze my neck. “Aleksander.” At the sound of his name, his teeth brush against my skin harder than ever. 

When he starts to pull away, I reach out desperately, grabbing his kefta. “I thought you wanted to leave, little dove.” 

No. No. He is not going to get me to agree to stay by giving me something as intimate as his original name and by denying me his touch. “Please.” 

He reaches for my hand, pulling it off of him cruelly. “Do you want to stay with me?” 

I know which answer will get me what I really want, but I’m not sure which answer is true. Do I want to stay with him? Even after knowing what he’s done? “I don’t want to leave you.” The vulnerability of the statement cracks at my heart. He turns away from me in order to face the wall. I take a tentative step towards. “But I’m not sure what I want matters.” 

In one quick motion, he’s yanking more forward and pressing me into the wall. “Of course desire matters,” his body is pressed against mine almost entirely, “It means something.” He brushes his knuckles against my cheek. “It means you could choose me.” 

What could I say to that? I part my lips to speak but he silences me by pressing his lips against my jaw. I offer no protest as he starts touching me the way he did earlier. I’m more desperate now, more needy and okay with that. His fingers slip past my underwear testingly, hesitating before finally entering me slowly. 

“Aleksander,” my voice is so needy I’m not sure it’s my own. 

“I want you to say my name like that again,” he whispers, kissing down my collarbone as he begins to press his fingers in and out of me faster, “And I want you to say my name casually,” his pace doesn’t slow, even when I begin to let out indistinguishable whines, “And I want you to say my name while you’re falling asleep,” his touch becomes more aggressive as his words become more sincere, “And I want you to say my name every other way there is to say it.” 

The bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach grows until there’s nothing else for me to hold onto. I finish with a sharp gasp. The feeling of euphoria is only intensified as Aleksander begins to kiss up my jaw before finally pressing our lips together. 

I break the kiss first, desperate to breathe. Have my legs been so shaky this entire time? Aleksander lets me recover, resting his head against my forehead. “I’m tired of being alone.” 

I imagine all the foul acts he’s committed and all the bad he wants to bring. I picture all the innocent blood he’s spilled. I see all of it--every horror and dark deed he’s ever committed. But I cannot see me leaving him. Maybe that makes me a monster, maybe that makes me an idiot...but I can’t do it. 

Slowly, I move to drape my arms over his back in a loose hug. “You’re not alone, Aleksander.” I’m not sure what that signifies, but I know it’s true. There has to be good in him. No one capable of such warmth can be pure evil. “I choose you.”