#but what's even worse than being bored is the cringe of trying to make new friends

[slender-wannabe]

i need both new friends and hobbies...my life is so fucking boring when i'm not working lol.

[showtoonzfan]

Now I want to talk about Charlie cause good GOD. I never cared much for her in the pilot, I’ll admit that. I always called her boring compared to the other characters because of how developed they were compared to her. However the show takes everything that the pilot build up for her and just made her 10x worse to the point where she’s INSUFFERABLE to watch.

When I got to the very end of the season, I realized that she barley did anything progressive or had an impact on any character, at least what we’ve seen on screen. I understand this was the first season, but what exactly was her arc and what exactly did she do? Nothing. Throughout the season she wasn’t a leader, the most she did was help Sir pen with lessons and have that fight at the heaven trial. In the end they try to act like she overcame some arc about learning to lead and take charge but…she didn’t really. She was helped constantly by people around her, mainly Vaggie/Alastor/Rosie and she never really did anything on her own that was enough to signify her independence as the MAIN character or even the princess of hell. I love how she needed to be TOLD that her girlfriend cared for her…like wow. Vaggie also states that she’s “done so much and touched so many souls”- and all I could think about is how I actually wish we saw that on screen. Husk said she “wants to fix everyone’s problems but her own” and I never got that vibe out of her??? If she was more like Luz from the Owl house where we constantly saw her avoid her own emotions and problems and focus more on helping other people, then it would make sense but guess what, we don’t see any of that because the show is so disinterested in ACTUALLY focusing on Charlie shining at the front and helping people. They scrapped the main premise of her wanting to help sinners and instead used up all the time they had to introduce new characters. It’s all tell and no show as expected.

She’s painted as someone who’s desperate to save her people but when she’s not the focus and actually helping someone, she’s a whiny frustrating crybaby who needs to be coddled or steered in the right direction, and it’s SO hard to watch how her character is treated like a child who can’t do anything. This character has existed for 200+ years canonically but she isn’t written like that. She’s dumb. The fact that she’s such a doormat that she can’t even realize Angel is being abused by Val or even DO ANYTHING about it is fucking baffling, she’s THAT useless. There were so many moments in the show where she could have used her authority or powers to save trouble, but she just doesn’t do it because she’s useless, and I’m tired of people trying to say she’s a pacifist to excuse the shitty writing. She’s also basically Viv’s self insert in a way, an unfunny woman child who’s a hypocrite. Like Charlie is the equivalent of dry white chicken. There’s no seasoning or flavor to her character, she’s SO bland and boring that Lucifer and Alastor end up being more important than her and having more screen time, she’s ATTACHED to them and it really shows, rather than her being at the front. And I know we’re on season 1, but you’d think that Charlie’s childishness would actually be a character flaw and something she needs to overcome and grow up about. But this isn’t really seen as an issue and more of a quirky thing cause Viv thinks being a woman child is funny, the “fuck you you old bitch” scene made me cringe so god damn hard. Everyone has already said it, but Charlie cursing so so forced and unnatural for her character. I don’t like how she’s supposed to be a cinnamon roll but then at the same time swears and acts feral at times. It doesn’t fit.

During the fight scene in the end, she also does absolutely nothing. She made a whole deal about how she wants to defend her people and get back at the angel’s, but aside from throwing Adam and hitting him once, she needed to be protected or saved, Lucifer ended up actually doing the work and it was so hilarious. Speaking of that, Charlie’s daddy issues arc was also rushed, her and Lucifer reuniting and then making up within the same episode was a mistake. Then you realize that her daddy issues was mainly all Charlie had to her in terms of depth and what was explored in the show. I’m so tired of Viv giving her characters daddy issues, it’s getting old lol. But regardless of what Charlie has to her, in general the show just doesn’t focus on her. She’s not the main focal point of the show when she should be. SHE’S the one who wants to redeem sinners, the hotel was her idea. Even tho the pilot was a mess I still felt like she was determined to take the lead due to her beliefs. And yet she still feels like a side/background character who only occasionally gets focus here and there but certainly not compared to the others. The potential is there but due to the favoritism of the writing she’s such an empty and boring character and stayed like that till the very end.

[goingmerryfics]

Hello!! I recently found your blog and I love it!! ❤️

I was wondering if I could request something!

Kid, Mihawk and Law with a partner who’s into gothic clothing. uwu

Gothic style S/O w/ Kid, Mihawk & Law

Content: Gender Neutral reader, SFW!

Notes* Glad to have you! Thanks for the request :) Out of anyone, I think these three would be the most accepting/understanding of someone with this style and even indulge in it a bit themselves so I tried to make this a little more personal to each character. That being said, I feel like they turned out a little shorter than normal, but I hope you still enjoy it!

Kid

He wouldn’t even bat an eye if this was a regular thing to be dressed in gothic style. It’s pretty common around the crew, and even if it wasn’t, Kid appreciates the aesthetic of the style

He also just doesn’t give a shit what you wear as long as you can do your job

Looking good while doing it is also a plus

For that reason, he would help you out with your makeup for sure. Not that he has much experience with it in the first place, but he just likes any excuse to look at your lips

On the other hand, if your weren’t introduced to him in black and chains, he wouldn’t recognize you if you just up and changed your wardrobe

You walk out of your room in your new style, the one you’ve been wanting to try for years and never had the bravery to out of fear of judgement

But after joining the Kid Pirates, it didn’t feel so scary to go outside of the world’s expectations

“Who the fuck are you!? How’d you get on my ship!?”

After managing to convince him not to just throw you overboard, he does the unthinkable

“Oh. You look good. Better than that boring shit you used to wear.”

He compliments you

Kid will pick at your outfits and give unsolicited advice on how to coordinate or style your clothing

He isn’t one for making jewelry, but he might try if you can’t find anything that would match your clothes

Mihawk

No comment from him. You’d have to outright ask him what he thought, and even then it would be a short answer

“Yes, it’s a good look on you.”

He isn’t actually looking at you when he answers, but it’s genuine

You’d find him staring at you quite often, though

He enjoys the style on you, especially since his style is very close/similar to gothic

He respects your backbone for sticking to what makes you happy, and he’ll encourage you to stick up for yourself if anyone has anything to say about your look

Honestly, he’s seen people look and dress a lot worse, so he doesn’t see why anyone should be making unnecessary comments

Despite being a man of few words, he would still compliment your outfits every time

He, having a eye for the fashion, would also help you coordinate and mix up your clothing items and accessories to freshen up the looks

“That won’t do. We need to get you some earrings that will match this.”

It’s such a sweet way to spend the time that you two have together

Law

Law gets whiplash at first

His emo phase is coming back to him all at once and he’s cringing internally

But despite his own emotional setbacks, he is happy if you feel comfortable dressing this way

He’s very level-headed, so there’s not going to be a very big reaction out of him right away

His perception of you hasn’t changed, and it won’t anytime soon

“Express yourself however you like, just make sure you don’t alter the uniform too much.”

He’ll warn you that the crew might ask some dumbass questions or make rude comments

He also will ask you some questions, very carefully, not wanting to sound ignorant

He would come to your aid if you needed support, especially within his own crew

If you’re the type to wear a lot of make-up, he’ll be on your ass about cleaning your face every night 

He’d even help you do a skin care routine to make sure you were taking care of yourself!

If you bother him enough, he’ll start to do it with you, too

Gets you stuff that remind him of you, things he believes may align with your style

All in all, he’s pretty indifferent to the style, and may even be open to dipping back into it a little bit

He looks great in eyeliner, but damn it he keeps smudging it

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🔪 for Chris!

🔪 Awake surgery

CW: Referenced hand whump, blood, sadism, reluctant whumper, facility whump, BBU

"You have got to be joking." The doctor dried his hands off on the single-use towel he held, watching through the one-way window as the trainee inside sat, shaking his head at a nurse who was speaking to him in a low voice. He shook it less like he was saying no and more like he was simply denying that she was speaking at all. "Him again? What the fuck is Petrus doing to this kid? It's only been, what, four days since I got him out of the clinic in the first place!"

"I mean, you know what he does to him, he's one of the little sluts." The handler rolls his eyes. "Petrus fucks him stupid, not that any of them have brains to begin with. But this time 223499 dropped a glass during his Mixology class. Can't pin it this one on Petrus, it's all on 499 being a little bitch again. His Mixology instructor says he's a clumsy little shit."

"Great. Okay." Dr. Ross has a headache already. He hates this place, hates the crude, aggressive handlers and the way they talk about - and to - the trainees. He hates sewing the injured trainees up only to see them again, with new wounds needing dressed and new terror in their eyes. He hates everything about this job except the paycheck.

He can't wait to get another job and get the hell out of here.

The Facility gets to him - it works its way down under his skin, seeing the haunted, nervous way the trainees looked around all the time, trying to guess where pain would come from next. Trying to curry favor, to avoid the torture constantly forced on them anyway. He's been seeing their frightened faces and hearing them beg in his dreams far too often. "So he's here because..."

"It's a deep cut." The handler shrugs. "He needs stitches."

Dr. Ross looks back at the trainee. 223499 is holding perfectly still while the nurse turns his hand over. His palm is a mess of blood, darker than the new-penny shine of his hair. The trainee's stained fingers twitch nervously.

He's just a kid.

The same kid who'd automatically gone to his knees just a week ago, ready to do whatever he was commanded to, thoughtless obedience making the doctor's stomach turn.

He has to get out of here.

Dr. Ross swallows, feeling like there's a lump in his throat he just can't quite get rid of it. "Fine. I'll prep something to numb his hand, we'll give him a little bit of-"

"Nah." The handler shrugs, looking bored. "His primary's got a note on his file, didn't you see it? No painkillers for three weeks. Not even topical."

Dr. Ross watches 223499 flinch away from the nurse, who slaps him, making him cry out. The sound is muffled through the one-way window. As is the apology the boy provides immediately, stammering through it, only to be slapped again. This time, he doesn't cry out. He only cringes back, hunching into himself, and keeps his eyes down.

It makes Dr. Ross feel sick.

"... fine," He says, realizing the silence is drawing out too long. "I'll get him sewn up. He can go back to his room once it's done. Tell Petrus to leave him alone for one night, at least?"

The handler snorts with dry humor. "Yeah, good luck on that. But I'll tell him you said so. You want me to help you strap him down?"

Dr. Ross doesn't let himself look at the trainee again. "Yeah. Come in and strap him down while I prep."

"You got it, Doc." The handler gives him a lazy salute.

The kid doesn't fight being strapped down, but it doesn't matter. Once the work begins, the kid's back arches, he screams and thrashes wordlessly, then... even worse, he makes noises after like he's dying, low moaning sounds that seem barely human. He's shuddering, whispering apologies when all he'd done was drop a glass and try to clean it up too fast.

Dr. Ross goes home that night with the trainee's screaming in his ears. He hears the sounds the kid makes once the needle goes into his skin all weekend in his nightmares.

On Monday, he emails his resignation, effective immediately.

He's smart enough to have a one-way ticket booked for a country WRU isn't operating in before anyone reads it.

[frostbitemutt]

Hi i have a request Could you write part 2 to your jack Marston fiction. What will it be like after being take by him? Would he kill you? Let you go when he gets bored? Will he try to be a normal family marry reader and have kids? Or will reader be locked in the cellar till one of them dies?

Yandere! Low honor! Jack Marston post-kidnapping hcs

Warnings: Gender neutral darling, yandere trope, kidnapping, imprisonment, possibility of stockholm, possibility of bones being broken, non-consensual pyshcial affection, mentions of intimacy (nothing actually happens), degrading behavior, sadism, breif mentions of time period gender roles (your gender is irrelevant, he treats you the same regardless)

✘ Will tell ya, death isn't a very likely outcome, not at all with Jack. Once again, that'd ruin his whole thing. He cares in his own way for you too much to put a bullet through your skull. He wants a partner not just another dead body! Don't mean it's fun though. You're still kidnapped.

✘ Your at first left in his room, on his bed, tied up and bound. It's like that for a day or two so you get "used to it", then he let's you just sit in his room unrestrained. He slowly let's you go from room to room, like introducing a new animal to its home.

✘ He barely leaves your side, which means he barely leaves the house. He'll reluctantly go out to get food and nesscessities. He's not stupid. He locks all the doors and windows, hides any weapons from you, basic stuff about any yandere would do.

✘ He tries to act like it's a normal arrangement, he wants you to act like it too. He dosen't mind you crying and begging a bit, finding it cute in a sick way. Teasing you. After awhile though.. he gets tired. Especially if it's constant. Making snarky remarks and comments. Whining back at you when you won't cooperate, pouting like he's a child and not a full grown 19 year old.

✘ If you try to run, everything is going on lockdown. Tied up tighter than before, everything locked, and a big shouting lecture from him. You got everything you need here. He provides for you like a man should for his partner. All you have to do is stay in the house.. that's all.

✘ If you keep pushing it, keep trying to make a break for him, fight, bite, he'll make threats of violence. Threats to break bones, raising his voice, aggressive gestures, mostly bluffs. Mostly. For a bit. Worse case scenario.. he really follows through. You're left with a broken bone or two in your legs.

✘ Forces affections. I mean come on, yall know the drill, yall know the voicelines. He isn't necessarily settling down with a no. Holding as your face in his hands as he mockingly croons to you. Holding you close to him in some way, forced kissing, hickies, and cuddling; which sometimes turns into attempts to do something more.. but he'll stop as you deny him.

✘ It's half on half, depending on his mood, when you shout and yell at him. Cowering away and cringing in discomfort whenever he even slightly touches you. Decent amount of the time, it only fuels him, spurring him on, adding to his enjoyment. Other times he'll get annoyed and bitch at you for not wanting his disgusting self on you.

✘ He'll cook for you.. it's not the best but it isn't awful? He'd help his mother cook here and there maybe, so he knows enough to make something edile. Although sometimes He'll fuck up and it's burnt to a crisp. It's better if you know how to cook for yourself.

✘ Going outside? Yeah probably not happening for a long while. Not until he's 100% certain you've developed stockholm. Speaking of which, tricking him into thinking you have it isn't easy. As he'll push and push and push your boundaries. Attempting to push it all the way to something intimate. soon as you show discomfort the illusion is broken for him.

✘ If police or neighbors come by he's immediately gagging and tying you and shoving you into a closet. If he can't do that in time.. well, what can't a quick draw solve? He's also fuming at you, thinking you managed to somehow get outside help. Unless you have a history of complaining to the authorities about him.. obviously he's gonna be the first suspect on your disappearance.

[privateanxieties]

forget my mercy, take my blame (chapter 6)

Summary: David has a conversation with you that Frank most definitely did not approve of. But, what Frank doesn't know won't hurt him. Right?

Words: 2.3K

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST

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David needs to tread carefully. The last time he did something like this was when he talked to Madani behind Frank's back, and Castle let him know what he thought of him in no uncertain terms. It nearly ended their friendship. A repeat experience might actually entice Frank to drive back to New York just to communicate his feelings about this second subtle betrayal. 

Okay— so maybe he's being a snake in the grass. But if being a snake means he gets to avoid Frank walking into a silent trap and prevent her from getting herself killed, then David will slither right along with a clean conscience. It doesn't mean he won't be a little nervous when he has to break the news to his friend, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

In the meantime, he repeats the information he wants to relay in his head as the phone rings, much like he would for a doctor's appointment. 

After the fifth ring, a whooshing crackle floods the speakers, and a quick glance at his third monitor reveals the phone is still on the ground. He's getting clear blue skies and tree branches through the frontal camera he surreptitiously activated. 

"Hello?" he says, and if his voice wobbles just a bit, he chalks it up to not having done this in a while. Truth be told, he was almost as nervous to do it to Frank for the first time, back when he was trying to get them to team up. He suspects nothing of the sort will be happening here. 

"Hellooo? Are y—" 

"Let me see you or I hang up."  

He freezes at the sudden command. Shit. No. No, absolutely not. He's not turning on the camera. Play dumb. 

"This isn't that kind of call—"

"You have ten seconds."  

Fuck. 

"How did you—" 

"I changed my mind. Five seconds."  

Fuck! Jesus Christ, Sarah was going to murder him herself. Time runs out and he resigns himself to his fate, granting permission to his video feed at the last second and instantly cringing at the mustard-stained shirt staring back at him in high definition. For a while, things are silent. Then, a full-blown sigh is released through the speakers as the woman comes into view, having finally picked up the phone. She looks a little worse for wear with the sun beating down upon her, but David can't make out too much detail in her face. It's a poor connection on her end and a shitty camera, mostly because the phone was built for durability more than anything else. 

Silence ensues again as they stare each other down for a few long moments. David blinks first. 

"Are you going to say anything? Because—" he begins, but is interrupted yet again. 

"Are you his sidekick? You look like a sidekick. The nerdy type, obviously," the woman says. David takes immediate offense, yet he finds that in this instance, he kind of fits the role she assumes of him. He's got monitors for days both in front and behind him, and the newly acquired pair of glasses he hasn't gotten used to rests uncomfortably on the bridge of his nose. He has to admit he looks the picture. Still, he protests. 

"Frank doesn't do sidekicks. And anyway, I'm more of a guidance system. He'd be lost without me. So, not a sidekick," he chides. Even with the shitty connection he can tell she isn't impressed. 

"Yeah…" she says, sounding pretty bored to David's ears. "…To be honest with you, I don't care. I want you both to leave me the hell alone. Figure you can use your guidance system to get lost?"  

David resists the urge to roll his eyes, though a snort does escape him. 

"Trust me, this wasn't my idea. I think you might want to listen though, before you make any more wise choices, yeah? Because right now, I'm your only chance of avoiding a bullet," he warns. 

"Is your friend looking to return the favor?" she asks. David balks at the misunderstanding. 

"What? No! Not from Frank. You know, I don't think you've realized yet that he's actually trying to help you. I mean, okay— He's not the most friendly-looking guy, but he means well. And I don't think he blames you for shooting him, if you were worried about that." 

"I wasn't." She moves some hair away from her face, seeming to gaze at something in the distance. "As for helping me, nobody asked him to. If he gets involved again—"  

David takes the chance to interrupt her this time. 

"Did you kill Collins?" 

An amused smile subtly lights up her face. 

"I'm sorry, who?"  

"Come on, we both know what I'm talking about." 

"You expect me to admit to murder over FaceTime?"  

"You think I'm recording this?" 

"No, no. I trust you, stranger who knows my name and location."  

David's eyes roll back until they hurt. And he thought talking to Frank was like herding cats. He decides he's fine with being accused of having no patience; he has to break through her unbothered exterior somehow, and letting her know the depth of the pile of shit she's in might be a good start. 

"There's an APB out for your arrest in Apolline County." 

It feels like entire minutes pass as he studies her features, though in reality it can't be more than a few seconds. David thinks he sees a hint of the emotions she ought to be feeling, but they disappear as soon as they come. She reverts to impassivity, but at least now he knows it's a carefully constructed façade. This isn't unlike someone else he knows, and he dreads to think what other points of congruence might be found between them. To his trained eye, she and Frank are pretty similar. 

"Hm. Well that's handy. I was just about to turn myself in."  

Morbidly similar. 

"You're going to the police?!" David sputters, incredulous. 

"The police went to my house. I'm just paying it forward," she replies, and it's at this point that David wonders if he shouldn't just let her and Frank figure it out themselves, because this kind of stubbornness will never be reasoned with. 

"You're walking into a trap, is what you're doing," he mutters, watching his screen for any pending alerts. He needs a new approach to this entire conversation. He needs to stop wasting time. 

"Not anymore, now that you've told me they're looking for me."  

David thinks talking to a wall might actually result in a more fruitful exchange. Jesus Christ. He slams a hand down on his desk in frustration. 

"No, you don't understand. The arrest isn't based on a warrant. No judge issued one. It means the police are trying to find you without anyone knowing it if they do. That's why they didn't broadcast it beyond county lines. They don't want anyone asking questions. They're luring you and you're giving them exactly what they want." 

"And why exactly are they luring me, if you're so knowledgeable?" she drawls, leaning against a tree. 

"Personally, I think it might be because you did exactly what Frank warned you not to do," David snarks. 

"What's that?" she asks with a sigh. 

"Uhh… Starting a war with a drug cartel because you killed their boss' little brother?" 

Silence.

Prolonged, extended silence. Laborious. Heavy. Poignant, if David may say so himself. 

"He did tell you that, didn't he?" 

Extremely poignant, apparently.

.

.

.

.

.

.

In retrospect, you did hear something about a war coming out of Frank's mouth right before you shot him. The information had not been this concise, unfortunately. Perhaps his nerdy friend should've been the one relaying all the details from the beginning. Perhaps you shouldn't have shot him like a spaz just because he blocked the door , your conscience objects. Eyes rolling back into your skull, you ponder the inconvenience-turned-potential-disaster while the phone waits inside the van, urgency be damned. With your head leaned against the tree bark, you quietly wish for that clarity you had just hours ago to return. Could things be better? Maybe, but that's neither here nor there. Could they be worse? Definitely. Regardless, the future is the only thing you control. 

A bird's eye view from an omniscient being would be nice to have. Instead, you're weighed down with hindsight and nothing else, much like the never-ending video loop of past events. You know what happened and in what order, but you can't intervene. The what-ifs begging to be factored into your reasoning are harshly buried. You've been down this road before, and those questions only serve as a distraction. You're not very interested in avoiding reality at the moment, particularly when your mouth is parched and you're showering in your own sweat under the Utah sun. 

A few more hours to go until dusk and you're stuck in a random patch of woods, theoretically armed to the teeth but realistically fucked in more than one capacity. Fresh off a murder. An APB for your arrest that only a couple of police stations know about, both under the Sheriff's jurisdiction and command. A home that was broken into by that very Sheriff. Location and name known to a very talkative and weird stranger, who appears to be friends with a not very talkative, even weirder stranger. Micro and Frank , a perfect comedy duo. 

So here you are, realizing how complicated the situation is and immediately resentful of the fact that you agreed to work with someone who has clear leverage over you. Around you, the woods are pretty quiet, not that you're very deep inside the tree line. You can still spot the road ahead if you peer around Frank's van, and it's still just as empty as you knew it would be on a Sunday afternoon. The occasional supply truck traveling between towns doesn't really amount to much traffic. There are no birds chirping or leaves rustling, because everything is either dead or dying here. You don't intend to become one with the scenery of godforsaken Utah, so just this once, you ate your pride. It went down worse than a dry-swallowed pill. Well, at least now you know what Sam meant by 'my brother's going to kill you'. Actually, you think he might've said 'fucking kill you'. A small chuckle tickles your parched lips. Sometimes you just have to learn to find these things funny. 

Agreeing to follow Micro's instructions is most definitely funny, considering your general inability to do as you're told. The contents of his plan are also hilarious in and of themselves: leave Apolline and never look back, keep the phone with you so he knows when you've left the state entirely, and in exchange he'll pretend he lost your trail when his friend asks about you. 

In all honesty, you're not sure what their deal is. Why Frank is eager to get in your way and his friend is willing to lie to ensure that he doesn't is just another one of life's little mysteries. One thing, however, is no mystery: you don't want to cross paths with the man you shot, grudge or no grudge. Leaving suits you just fine from this perspective, but from another, doing as Micro said is completely at odds with your whole life philosophy. You're not looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life, and that's exactly what you would be doing if you cut your losses and left. You could've done that back in the desert, but you didn't. You came back for a reason. 

O'Hare was inside your house. It doesn't matter that you were never going to live in it again after what happened. He invaded your space. He was looking for something — apparently, that something was indeed you. An inelegant snort falls from your lips. He wants to arrest you? You can only imagine his line of thought: someone murdered an old woman on your porch, so naturally you're the only suspect. He's probably under pressure from the mayor to find a culprit, what with elections coming up. Nobody's been murdered in Apolline since the late 2000's. You know. You've checked.

So what’s a girl to do in this mess? Could you run and never be found? Probably. 

Are you going to?

…

Another chuckle, much fonder this time, really accentuates your thirst. It’s stupid to even pretend you could ever follow along with Micro’s plan, no matter how eager you are to never see his worse half again. You don’t run before business is wrapped up. It’s not something you even know how to do. If you’ve stepped on a little cartel’s tail, you’ll deal with that as it develops. And if the Sheriff is really looking for you due to misguided reasons, well… who are you to deny him discovery? 

Pushing away from the tree, you wince as your skin protests from the harsh imprint left by the bark even through clothing. You need to change, a thing you’d be able to do if you’d had the wherewithal to grab your duffel from the car before hijacking Frank’s van last night. Your house is too risky to go back to, but maybe a detour to the bakery wouldn’t hurt. After all, you can’t show up to the police station in your murder outfit, confident as you are that it won’t incriminate you. 

Before you do anything at all, though, you need to find a way around the agreement you just entered into. In order to get back into town, you need to lose the phone so Micro can’t track it and figure out your steps. It’s a problem that really gets your gears turning for a few good minutes, until you remember exactly where you are and what time it is. Sunday evening is precisely when two shipping trucks make their way into town with supplies for three different stores, and the road you inelegantly capsized by is the only one into and out of Apolline. 

A small smile finally curls the edges of your lips, and the invigorating effect of a good idea isn’t far behind. At the very least, there’s an upside to this whole thing. You really aren’t bored anymore. 

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-to be continued-

A/N: A very late update because life stuff has been happening quite a lot lately. So, here we are. This really is the last chapter before a whole lot of chaos and before we meet Frank again. Trust me, he's gonna have a lot to say about these two scheming without his knowledge.👀 And he's definitely gonna rip David a new one for getting duped by her hehe. We'll get there, don't worry. I don't want to spoil anything, but I am excited to get to next chapter's events!

[mdhwrites]

Your Grom Factory post is so right!! I felt like the last parts of it felt off but I didn't know why until I read your analysis. I wanted to like the ending and Ayzee's character so bad because Milan and Ayzee looked so cute together (even if they weren't all that interesting) but Ayzee's final depressing thoughts just ruined it for me :(

I also agree with A Little Hint of Blue being boring. I'm a Vinira shipper so I may be biased but they feel so bland in the comic. I know it's supposed to expand Skara's character but she also just comes off as annoying to me, and it's weird because she kinda reminds me of Anne (her dynamic with Boscha reminds me of Sashanne) but I like Anne and I don't care for Skara. Also the musical scene was cringe, I'm sorry, might be because it's in a comic but still. I did like how the comic kinda expanded on healing and bard magic, the fight was cool even though I think it was ooc for Viney to fall for Skara's trick by the end of it.

So like I said before, I don't want to harp too much on Mark's work without a point. Honestly, if you want to talk about Mark's work with me, my DMs are open, I've talked about him a fair bit on my Discord (in fact, it was voicing that I wasn't certain about posting the blog on Discord that got one of my followers to reassure me I wasn't just being an ass and shouldn't worry so much that led to it being posted) or you can even just ask me non-anonymously and I'll answer in private. I'm not trying to start anything.

With that said, you actually bring up a really good and interesting point in regards to Skara's character that has been digging at me for a WHILE and is useful as a more condensed version of the issues with both Hunter and Amity's arcs who share a lot of issues and I will bring up throughout this as well. A Hint of Blue is indeed meant to expand her character by saying she's a generally and genuinely good person but she has to put on a performance for others. That she is stuck between the person who she is deep down and who society wants her to be. This is effectively the same trick the show does for both Hunter and Amity so A: it is literally nothing new and B: it suffers from similar issues while its specific methodology is a NIGHTMARE to portray well. Worse yet, both of these issues render Skara's character somehow less than the blank canvas it already was.

See, and this is the big part of why I decided to respond, Skara's trick is to show someone with a pure survival response in this regard. She hasn't internalized ANYTHING that people push upon her by what her actions have shown. This means it is all an act rather than these outside forces having had a deeper personal impact. Hunter and Amity, again, suffer similar issues but they at least pay some lip service to the idea that they're not just twin personalities. There is some overlap. For Amity, it's when she is still somewhat cold after breaking the everlasting oath in Covention as even when shown kindness, she still keeps some of that distance. Or heck, just her entire first appearance honestly. For Hunter, it's the constant reinforcement of needing to please Belos. Moments that show that even when the external pressure isn't actively there, it is weighing on their mind, much like how Zuko clearly always had something stressing him out, even when all was quiet. It's part of why how easily Amity throws off her shackles, and how Hunter doesn't actually refute the morality he's clearly been taught, make their arcs and characters weaker because it implies that these pressures never actually got in.

And unfortunately for Mark, he can't seem to decide which version he has and canon supports neither option. In the very first page of the comic, Mark emphasizes A: how long Skara has been being a bully. Not just a bully but enjoying it as even her first act of monstrosity, kicking a sand castle down, is greeted with a smile while she is still very small. This implies some part of her is just cruel. But that's being actively contrasted by B: having her immediately willing to break the bitch code Boscha has in place by apologizing to Viney without any real hesitancy until Boscha speaks up, implying her instincts are to be nice. Mind you, in that first comic she does need to be pushed to destroy the sandcastle... But not to claim be wronged. She first, before the prompting, claims the playground as hers. She's not pushed to be pushy but to stand up for herself and claim what is hers. Not actually inherently unhealthy so long as you aren't a bitch about it honestly which, yes she was being.

And this sort of incongrueny gets better and worse as the story goes on, let alone with the framing of it. After all, the story is trying to frame it as her being a naturally good person who only acts up due to Boscha. This is why Viney, for no reason, is so anti-Boscha. She is meant to be the second world that Skara is being pulled between. When written REALLY POORLY, this is how you get Skara stating Boscha isn't that bad and actually cares in her own way one comic and then literally two comics later, Boscha destroys Skara's chance at romance while mimicking Dio (I know it's Jojos in general but like... Why Jojos there at all?). It's superficial to put it extremely mildly.

As a note, this would actually be the heart of the sort of stuff I would talk about, characters making choices because they fit the tropes of the story, if I decided to talk about the Hallmarks (pun intended) of boring romances. Forced character writing with zero motivation or real flavor is the normal core to that problem.

And well... When your motivations as a character are "I inherently have a heart of gold!" versus "I am the puppet of the most evil fourteen year old on my continent"... You get a really boring lamp that keeps getting passed around. It's meant to expand on Skara's personality but instead it reduces it to NOTHING. Or, it's that her personality is ENTIRELY dependent on whoever she is around and the nice version is the version that Viney gets because she believes Viney will kick her ass otherwise as that is actually the reason the first apology comes out. Or appears to with how worried Skara immediately becomes while Viney rolls up her sleeves.

And since you brought it up and they're PERFECT FOR THIS, let's contrast this with Sasha and Anne. They actually are this sort of dynamic after all. Sasha forces Anne to do things outside of her comfort zone through using their friendship and this is bad for Anne but Anne does it because what Sasha gives her is fun, it's exciting and it's from someone who at least claims to genuinely care about her. Even at her meanest, Sasha is wanting to spend time and make Anne's life better. It's part of why her character is so great. Skara gets lip service in the first comic about liking being on the top of the food chain but all her actions are independent and even the final panel goes out of its way to show Boscha leaving Skara behind, showing the actual gulf in their relationship. It's lip service that Skara will spend literally the ENTIRE rest of the comic saying she hates. She doesn't actually ever act like she ever gets anything out of this.

Then we have the second world pulling Anne: The Plantars. Suddenly, she is shown that you can be loved and cared for by other people without having to do morally dubious things... And she chaffs at it because it does mean more complicated relationships. Hop Pop and her don't understand each other. Polly isn't the gal pal she wants even though she is a gal and a pal. Even Sprig still chafes at her her habits and the like while Sasha may have more cleverly gotten to stop anything she didn't like. This is part of why Anne isn't all that great to the Plantars early on. She doesn't want the work that goes into a real relationship. She'd rather be subservient and have it be simple. It's only through seeing just how much better these people are, and how it feels to have her own autonomy, that she breaks her chains and discards Sasha, at least for a while until they're both in healthier places. As a note, THIS is why S1 of Amphibia is the way it is because this shit takes TIME, let alone while also using an entire town to reinforce these lessons.

Skara meanwhile just... likes the other world. That's really it. She just gravitates towards being nice and real connections, just like Hunter and just like Amity. As always is stated: We're TOLD that she likes being on top but why? It's never even elaborated on with words, let alone shown to us but also yes, this would have extended the arcs overall to show this. Like I said, Amphibia spends a lot of time on groundwork for a reason. Arguably more than it needed to but it still needed a large amount of time to make the payoff and journey as satisfying as it is.. Even TOH understood this with Amity as they pretend for a little longer than a single line that she has reasons to want to be on top until she just drops it all once no one is looking. -_- This attempt to make it less blatant though is part of why Amity dominates a THIRD of the entire series.

And honestly, between this and the enemies to lovers trope from the base show (and actually this too I guess if Viney didn't seem to have some deep seated hate for Boscha that we just haven't been told about yet) I really am getting tired of people seeming to think romance really is a simplistic genre. In fanworks, you get a lot of quick romances, yes, but that's fine. They're normally not trying to claim to be doing an arc or the like with it. They're just bringing two characters they like together. However, romance is an entire GENRE for a reason. You can tell whole stories just around a romance with no other elements because just two people interacting and figuring out deepening feelings is one of the most complex elements for a writer to figure out, regardless of which complex emotion you're choosing. If you don't actually figure that out though, romance tends to be the genre where characters show their narrative purpose fastest. Where you feel the hand of the author forcing the characters together the most. It's why the romantic subplot is such a despised narrative trope. It's why Amity descending into being a love interest is so sharp because capital L LU- LOVE is all she's about now.

And that is the case here too. Skara is all about Viney... Because this is a romance. That is a not deep character, that is a sexy lamp that happens to sing.

======+++++======

I didn't even hint to giving the two moments to bond and have real chemistry instead of just lecturing at each other. *screams* GEE, the romance writer has opinions on romance!? Never would have guessed. I won't even say I'm perfect at it, I'm definitely still improving myself, but it is technically my genre, even back when I was writing harem erotica.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[semi-sketchy]

Alright, so looks like I'm sticking to the Japanese for Sonic X.

While a direct comparison with the dub would be nice, in this case it's probably unnecessary. Out of the old Sonic shows (hard to believe this one is over 20 now) this is the one I remember the most because I watched it the most. X was always my favorite Sonic show as a teen, at least until Boom showed up.

I've been familiar with scenes the dub cut as well changes they made for a long time, so it's not like the sub will be loads of "new" information for me. I've only seen the sub once, but it's probably been about 6 or so years, enough that I don't remember it very clearly.

Of course, I have more preconceived notions and opinions on this show than the others and I'm interested to see if any change.

Probably the biggest is that there are pros and cons to both the dub and sub. In general, my thoughts were the sub has better writing, but the dub played the jokes better. I was never a fan of the 4th wall humor the Japanese sometimes used. Maybe it's childhood nostalgia, but moments like this defined my sense of humor as a kid.

While the spirit of the joke is the same in Japanese, it doesn't quite land the same and I really missed that when I last saw it.

(Of course, this can be explained by Japanese being a very difficult language to translate into English, with many words and phrases not having a 1:1 translation, it makes the text somewhat subjective. Though seeing as I don't speak Japanese, the subtitles are all I can go by.)

There were also cases where I thought the dub shortening a few scenes made the overall pacing better (not talking about Shadow flinging Chris, that one was confusing). Again, pros and cons to both without there really being a definitive one for me.

Although with the show in general, I always thought season 2, or more specifically the game adaptations, were the worst part of the show. I never liked how they handled those stories and even back when I was doing my SA1 LP and wanted an X refresher, I couldn't sit through the SA1 arc without getting bored to tears. That was the last time I watched Sonic X.

I always found season 1 to be my favorite because it did something new. I didn't want a worse telling of what I had already seen, I wanted to see a fresh, new idea. And on that note...

I also remember liking season 3, but recall it being more episodic than the rest of the series, suffering the most from uninteresting padding episodes (69 might be the most I've ever cringed). Then again, I was a Star Trek kid and frequently would quote "Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" so Sonic in space adventures? Hell yeah I was down. When it worked, it WORKED.

Either way, we'll see if any of these thoughts still hold up, but for now I'm gonna struggle in speed-reading as I try to multitask.

[imawhore09]

Best Friend's Boyfriend (Pt. 1)

I am new to writing so have some mercy. Also, I use the word I but picture yourself!!

Content warning: A little cringe, MXF, Oral(fem receiving), use of the word dick and clit, and fingering(Fem receiving).

This is what I imagine Nate looking like but more tanned.

I sit on my cloud-like bed as I hear the bass from the music thump from downstairs and the loud cries from the horny teenagers screaming at each other. It seems as though a fight is occurring. I hope my friends have it under control, unlike last time when one of our expensive paintings got torn down and destroyed. That was a mess. Josh’s end-of-the-summer party, like always, gets out of control. That’s why I am holed up in my bedroom, not drunk, working on my end-of-the-summer reading. Me being me, I procrastinated and now, I have to read as much as I can before the first day of hell— oops school. I pull my long dark brown hair into a ponytail, to the best of my abilities. 

Right now, I am really glad that I don’t like parties and drinking, or this work would never get done. I don’t understand why teachers even give summer reading. It's utterly ridiculous to me. I mean, it’s the summertime. Who wants to be reading. Also, that just gives teachers more work. I mean, everyone would win if they just let us be and enjoy our summer break with no work. I am in the middle of the most boring book when all of a sudden my door swings open and I see a red-eyed, Nathanael stumbling in. He looks a little drunk, but I wasn’t sure. I mean, at these parties, you could get drunk off the smell of alcohol. He looks around the room in confusion when his eyes land on me. A flash of recognition goes through his eyes, then follows embarrassment. 

“Hey, Klair. Sorry, I was trying to get to the bathroom and I guess I misjudged or something. I’ll leave.”  He started making his way to the door.

“Wait, it’s okay. You can use my bathroom so you don’t have to go back out there. Who knows who or what you’ll find in those bathrooms. I remember this one time, I walked in there, and well, it wasn’t pretty. I had nightmares for a week after that. What makes it even worse, it was David. I would rather not go into the other details. Point is, use my bathroom if you don’t want any emotional damage.” He nods at me, then walks over to my bathroom door. He went in but forgot to close it. 

“NATHANAEL!” I shout as he starts to unzip his shorts. He whips his head toward me so fast, that I swear I heard the sound barrier breaking and a sonic boom echoing through the room. Dramatic, I know. 

“WHAT! Oh, I am so sorry. I wasn’t even paying attention. God, this is embarrassing.” He rambles while making his way to the door and closing it. I hear the click and then release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My cheeks feel really warm and I realize then, that I was blushing. Why was I blushing? It was Nathanael for Christ's sake and he has a girlfriend, Maddie. Who just so happens to also be one of my best friends. What is going on? First the dream two weeks ago, and now this. I finally decided that I was just doing what I do best, overthinking, and pushing those thoughts away. I reach into my nightstand and pull out my secret stash of Spirytus Vodka. This shit is only used for emergencies. Such as, a failed report card, getting cheated on, blushing when your best friend's boyfriend is around, and having sexual dreams about him, you know, that stuff.

As I crack open the bottle, I hear the toilet flush and the bathroom tap turn on. After a few seconds, it shuts off and the door opens. I don’t fully realize that I am grabbing two glasses instead of one. 

“Klair!” I hear a deep voice yell. I let out a very unladylike screech and whirl around to see Nathanael standing at the edge of my bed with an amused grin on his face.

“Jesus! You scared the hell out of me Nate.” I whisper-scream as I try to control my breathing. The glasses were lying on my bed in front of me and the vodka, thankfully, was on top of my nightstand. 

“I thought you didn’t drink? And of all things, vodka? Damn, Klair. What's going on with you?” He asks while walking around the bed to where I am sitting. He picks up the bottle and then looks down at me with a pointed look.

“I thought you didn’t either,” I say while looking up at him with confusion written all over my face. I mean, I was genuinely confused, as we had talked about this before. We both knew how the other wouldn’t drink and joked about how we would be the designated drivers in college while everyone else gets completely wasted. 

“I usually don’t, but after what happened tonight, I needed it.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Do you mind?” He asks motioning to the bed. I shake my head and he sits down. He holds up the glasses, and I wordlessly fill them both up, knowing what we both need. We look at each other and nod before letting the liquid scold our throats as it runs down like a waterfall. We keep refilling our glasses, and soon enough, we are drunk. We are talking about anything and everything, then we start getting serious. We are talking about relationships, and who we really like or dislike. Then, the conversation dies down and we sit there in silence. Before my drunk brain can process what is going on, his lips are brushing mine and a series of sparks seem to ignite at the touch. It seems almost magic, like the kind of kiss you read about in books, but then reality sets in and I quickly pull away. 

Nate opens his eyes, and a questioning look crosses them. Along with what seems to be, hurt? Is he hurt that I pulled away? Or maybe he is hurt that we kissed, while he is dating Maddie. But, then another thought crosses my mind, that it would be guilt, not pain. With that processing through my intoxicated mind, I down another glass of the liquid crystal courage, and look back at Nate. He looks back at me with his glass up. I fill it up as he speaks.

“Why did you pull away?” So that's why. But what about Maddie, the sane part of my subconsciousness questions. But the intoxicated part, drunk on both vodka and lust, overpowers it, and that is when I made the impulsive decision, to plant my lips on his and wrap my hand around his neck. To say he was surprised, was an understatement. But once he registers what is happening, he breaks the kiss, grabs the glasses out of our hands, and places them on the nightstand behind me. He grabs me by the nape of my neck and pulls me into a searing kiss. His hands wander grasping at anything he could grab. I pull at the hem of his tee and getting the hint he pulls it off only breaking the kiss as necessary. His skilled fingers work their way down my nightshirt popping all the buttons open to where he can slide it off me. I pull away from the kiss and look at him, God has to have favorites because damn he is too hot, 

“What are you staring at?” He asks slightly panting.

“You.” I shortly state. He reaches up toward my face and cups my chin. He doesn’t say anything but I can tell by how he is looking at me. He is asking me if I want to do this because if I don’t he will stop. I nod and then the hand cupping my chin travels down to my chest and pushes me down on the bed. His lips start to travel down and he kisses my clothed breasts. I gasp and let out a whimper. The next thing I know my pants and underwear are both gone. The cold air bites at my center and as I am catching my breath Nate pushes down his pants revealing himself to me. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks. I nod but he huffs, “I need words, Klair.”

“Yes, I want this. I want you, Nate. Please.” I plead. He unclips my bra and throws it to a random spot in the room to be collected tomorrow. His hands drag down my body till he is right above where I need him most. "Please, please, please," I beg him my words getting softer with each plea. He finally puts my begging to an end when he slips his fingers down to my entrance.

"Already so wet and I have barely begun." Nate mocks as he collects my slick with his fingers. He brings them to his mouth and licks them clean moaning as he brings them down to tap on my clit. I gasp. He starts kissing my stomach and works his way down. His mouth finally makes contact with my clit. He kisses and sucks bringing me closer and closer to the edge. I finally snap when his fingers slip into my opening. I moan and when he starts moving them I lose it. I can no longer form coherent words or sentences. I am so close to falling over the edge when Nate's fingers find a spot that has me trembling as I squeeze his fingers and cum. My mind blacks out from there but I do remember the pain of his dick splitting me open.

[jellybeanium124]

watching a new simpsons episode for the first time since... season 32? and let's be real I don't remember anything past season 29 because the simpsons got reeeeeeeal boring. but taika is in this episode so fuck it amirite? anyways here's my reaction to season 35 episode 9 "Murder, She Boat."

wow the animation seems worse? something is noticeably worse

I like that bart is acting like a 10yo with the vroom-vroom thing. a big issue later simpsons have is the kids acting like teenagers or even adults (in lisa's case)

homer simpson: nerd hater

wow they're parodying that thing from phineas and ferb!! :D (asdfhbsdgjl I know p&f was doing a parody too)

also there was already a simpsons episode where they went on a cruise and it's one of the best damn episodes of the modern era if you ask me (23x19 "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again")

ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING

"Oh my God is that Taika Waititi?" I stg lisa's had a line like this every since since season 11. STAHP IT INTRODUCE YOUR CELEBS NATURALLY YOU PIECE OF SHIT HD SIMPSONS EPISODE

remember when simpsons celeb cameos used to be good. because I don't because it was all before I was born.

Why is everyone moving weird. seriously wtf is up with the animation they're too damn smooth

"You know it's good, because it's based on existing IP" ouch wow ouch... ouch it hurts

Comic Book Guy acting Like That™ is the only guy who works because CBG is supposed to act like that. Like CBG should be an obnoxious nerd that you'd root to see homer actually beat up lol. not any other random motherfucker!

CBG shredded bart's comic right in front of him??? jesus christ that dude sucks

You can really tell the producers were like "taika, just read the lines" because his performance is giving "taika, just read the lines"

shut up with your vegemite american writers

see it's cute when taika pretends to have a stupidly inflated ego of his own volition but when the simpsons writers make him do it I'm like "BRO ARE YOU OK BLINK TWICE IF THEY'RE HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE UNTIL YOU SAY THE LINES IN THE BLANDEST VOICE YOU'VE GOT!!!"

What... what the actual fuck was that joke with Kumiko. Like her whole character has always been kinda racist but that was such an incredibly racist joke... what the fuck actually for real was that.

The Futurama reference was cute tho.

CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE

there was like, a halfway decent albeit tropey bart & lisa moment in there but then we went straight back into the cringe

"Of course I'll help you. Why? Because I have a medical condition that forces me to be multitasking at all times." ok can everyone shut up forever actually and stop speculating about that man. if the simpsons writers are making that joke it's time to stop

taika actually sounds like he had a gun to his head and recorded these lines for 18 hours until 3am

something weird about the simpsons going on for 35 years is that all the characters sound slightly different than they did in seasons 2-15 now. like they've all aged 35 years and you can hear it in their voices. the kids have this... oldness to them now that, even tho the voice actors on this show are talented as hell, can't totally hide (and who knows they may not be trying to because who gives a fuck it's simpsons season 35)

taika being distracted joke. haha. what if I release the bees on everyone who speculates about that.

I can't listen to the horrible lines they gave him anymore 😭😭😭 "egomaniac" isn't funny 😭😭😭

I mean like it's not like the dialogue anyone else is getting is great either, just to be clear. it's pretty terrible across the board lol. I'm just a titch sensitive to how taika (real man) is being written for... reasons... I mean maybe I shouldn't it's not like it matters and nobody thinks your portrayal on the simpsons is how you truly are. there's a time honored tradition of celebrities being portrayed as egomaniacs or fucking crazy on the simpsons when everyone knows they aren't (bette midler doesn't throw cans at people irl and darryl strawberry isn't a kiss ass... although both those celebrities have their own issues). I guess it bothers me because it is playing up something that's real and fake at the same time, and also this man is getting unduly criticized for a lot of shit rn.

Kumiko's speech was actually painful. "When we got married, I was his priceless collectible." DID NOBODY FUCKING SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT IN THE WRITER'S ROOM?? DID NOBODY SEE HOW THAT BLATANTLY PLAYS INTO THE FETISHIZATION OF AISAN WOMEN??? Like holy fucking shit what the hell was wrong with the writers of this episode???

wow I love seeing marge and homer be really depressing bad parents -_-

Ok so when Rainer Wolfcastle shouts out his latest movie, that's funny and doesn't bother me. Troy McClure's shtick never bothered me either. Probably because they're FICTIONAL

Lisa said "damn it" ?!?!?!?! SHE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT. Lisa doesn't curse wtf are you doing she'd say "darn it!!!"

cringe cringe cringe cringe

if I had a nickel for every time lisa simpson solved a murder mystery because of the cuprit's signature favorite food being left on a weapon, I'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice, right? (the first time was the 3rd segment in treehouse of horror XV, "Four Beheadings and a Funeral")

taika being mad at people tearing apart his room was the best line delivery he gave in this episode. like there was a real emotion.

sideshow mel saying "who speaks with such an exaggerated affectation!" got 1 chuckle out of me

damn. CBG dropping the doll into lake springfield is just like ed dropping his leathers into the ocean. (not even remotely true)

in conclusion is this a bad episode of television don't watch it

[icelogged]

soooooooooo right abt coquette being used for regressive femininity im not even familiar w it but it's just kinda really frustrating to see something u found yourself in being used for something almost diametrically opposite to it

EMMM one of my favourite gay people on my phone or however it goes

“—used for something almost diametrically opposite to it”.

that’s what gets me the most. the reclamation of girlhood lost to trauma repackaged into patriarchal bigoted dogma but written in a glitter pen.

i went off longer than i expected, so i went full throttle— oleta’s soapbox moment. tysm for this gift cliff 🫀💞 I will try to use it well :3 @ everyone else if you are not acquainted with nuance or im generalizing (not all xyz) don’t interact with post maybe sit outside without your for 15 minutes. i’m in flare today and can’t deal with people thinking i am attacking a specific group, im targeting them specifically when we’re literally strangers etc etc

just because you put a racially “diverse” [one girl of colour] group of VS models as your header, reblogged *“poc coquettes” are valid and think women are inherently “divine” doesn’t mean your opinion on body hair [a true neutral; as it doesn’t care what you identify as, it just grows (and yes there are exceptions)] and femininity, want for your boyfriend to think for you, holding his finger instead of his hand to make you feel small and demure, constructing every facet of your being down to smell whatever corporations say “is” coquette—doesn’t mean your idea of femininity is extremely regressive, Mary. and it literally does not serve you.

when people speak out about this the response is so sinister and calculated; suddenly these concerned persons are anti-feminist. “let women have fun and feel good”. uhm hey did you know that your pleasure shouldn’t the only indicator in deciding what is “good” or not.

how are you going to tell me that saying **woke trad wife aestheticisms and waiting to see what the influencer it girl of week is wearing before shopping is anti-feminist. it’s like the definition of feminism has become freedom for women to do whatever they want [instead fighting for worldwide liberation and then equity]. feminism is anti-feminist because you told a woman no… smells western selfishness to me. “if it feels good then it can’t be bad”. so it’s feminist to agree with the man who ended eating women he said this to [fictional, chose this example because i think Hayden is a kinda genius and i so thankful work for so many reasons but the discussions and awareness her “silly little story” has shifted the trajectory of many]

this all very by design and social media amplifies it. [I know i draw tiktok through the mud every chance i get but] eras don’t even last 5 years now and that shift can be marked through tiktok’s journey from being musical.ly to what it is now.

musical.ly [branded as fun social media for youth including underage persons] -> oops we had such a bad pedophile problem we gotta overhaul everything -> tiktok [cringe, because it was just musical.ly but called something different and people think people especially kids minding their own business and having fun lipsyncing is cringe, 2018?2019?] -> summer 2019; guys it’s just like vine, are feeling that nostalgia son?(it was not like vine) -> im locked in my house wah wah (people are dying steven) i am so bored and addicted to technology that when i refresh my feeds and there’s no new content i don’t know what to do with myself time to try this new app. did i mention im horny and my porn addiction got worse <3 -> tiktok having to scramble again because of all the new adult content. thus the tiktok is now an app for everyone rebrand -> disguised ads as unsponsored content -> becomes a profitable app -> you can’t say lesbian but you can sure romanticize the nuclear family -> (we are here. i’ll be talking more specifically about regressive femininity especially the kind found in the “coquette”community) femininity is womanhood, it is a specific checklist and if you don’t follow it you’ll never be a lizzy grant waif key west kitten soft girl old money female manipulator (i’ll never get that one, Jesus). shaping your body and presentation to what is deemed desirable and feminine is self care and self care costs money thus hating your natural self is actually bettering it. let the original self die and be just like her [can be anyone, tuned to their likes and opinion on beauty] and don’t forget to preserve your youth [as if aging wasn’t a natural process and something you could stop if you have the money]. older male validation should be your lifeblood, they aren’t like the silly boys at your school, don’t you want fall in love and have a big strong man to protect you that takes advantage of your naïveté to control you but that’s okay because you’re an angel starlet and he has money because he’s older (no he doesn’t he’s in debt Julia like everyone else) <3 but when you hit 26 you might as well be ***milf. be warned hubby gets bored of “milfs” because they’re too harden by the world by then, seen too much, too hard to shape into the little maid sex doll of his dreams so he trolls for ****eighteen years olds again. “if it’s legal :purple_devilface:” etc etc etc ! #coquette

*i’m going to be real with y’all… the use of “poc” [people of colour, person of colour] as a word, not as it’s true form as an acronym has taken years off my life. ‘person/people of colour coquette’ doesn’t make sense. while we’re at it… nblm/w also ruined my life specifically /hyperbolic. e.g nblm reads; ‘non-binary loving male’ when you mean ‘male loving non-binary’. as wlw reads; ‘woman loving women’ also interpreted as women loving women, though such wouldn’t work as smoothly for nblw etc

** i miss when woke actually meant something, aave and ball terminology becoming universal means nothing is sacred

*** the way men in their 60s are dilfs sometimes dilfs all the way to the grave— women who are 27 are milfs… but only three years later they’re hags! oh and men apparently somehow when you reach 30 you’re a certified daddy, unaffected by ageism and your desirability to people who’ve only been adults for less than five years is bass boosted supported by the patriarchy… that sounds familiar doesn’t it? desirability sure has a short shelf life for women and they have to care about it, agonize over it, spend all their money over it but that should be a post in itself *adds to my drafts <3* honestly i do write all the things i said i would i just have ocd and im waiting for a made up arbitrary time to post that is 100% determined by mental illness, perfectionism and subconscious self hate because i totally don’t consciously hate myself anymore because im the sweetest girl in town (haha get it?) and think im martyr gifted from god but i am really into self harming and sabotaging <3 thanks trauma you’ve made my life so interesting ! my brain gets more wrinkly everyday trying to navigate it <33333

****IN MY OPINION people shouldn’t be identified as adults when they are eighteen and nineteen but somebody really wanted to fuck someone’s daughter :/ making me think of another one my ****’s theses; all evil in the world stems from greed. now if society was founded in science not feelings adults would be 25 and older as the frontal cortex develops by then but i can see how that would be an eugenics nightmare as neurodivergent people etc can develop it later though i can’t see this hypothetical society checking everyone’s brain before deeming them an adult because a). you have to wait even longer to legally sexualize them b). it would give everyone a free mandatory health check up but that is also another conversation

[nerdnag]

So here are my completely uninteresting thoughts about the Miraculous movie, which I watched yesterday. First few paragraphs are spoiler free.

Overall impression while watching was honestly positive. It was well-animated, the tension and atmosphere were good, the voice actors for the main characters did great, the music was pretty good, and the nostalgia gave me warm fuzzy feelings several times. However, the day after watching it, I realize I have a lot of issues with it that weren't obvious to me at first.

I didn't mind it being a musical. But like everyone else, I thought the difference between Marinette's speaking VA and singing VA was jarring. It was jarring enough that it didn't feel like it was actually Marinette singing; it felt more like she was lipsynching along to a soundtrack, and I found it hard to take in what she was trying to communicate in her songs because of that. Adrien didn't have this problem; his singing VA was similar enough that it worked. As for Gabriel, oh man, was it a TREAT to discover that Keith Silverstein did his own singing. I literally had goose bumps the whole song, not because it was a particularly interesting song, but because Keith just did it so well (and it was so great to have him seamlessly start singing)!!

They changed or removed a lot of things compared to the show; the main reason for this was probably that the movie was only 1:32 in runtime (which was way too short even to convey some of the basic points of the plot). Some of the changes were for the better, I think. But many of them were for the worse.

(Spoilers below, though if you've seen the show, it probably doesn't matter very much.)

Some good changes:

Gabriel's characterization and character arc were WAY improved, in that his motives are clearly established, he's shown as suffering emotionally during the entire movie (while very obviously caring a lot for Adrien), and he had a redemption at the end that made sense. Gabriel was probably my favorite character in this movie. I almost wish it had centered more around him, lol.

This is maybe not a change so much as a choice of focus, but a major part of why I stopped watching the show two seasons back or so was because the new kwamis, heroes and identity switches were getting incredibly annoying, confusing and boring. The movie had only three active kwamis and only two heroes, i.e. it went back to the good old days of the show, and I appreciated that a lot.

There are also way fewer characters who get any screen time (basically their entire school class is only shown in the periphery), which I personally think is a good thing, because I never really found most of them interesting in the first place.

After their first couple of times fighting bad guys, Ladybug and CN get into a habit of meeting with each other to train or just hang out even when there are no threats around. That kind of casual interaction was something I think many of us wished had been a part of the show (it definitely was a major part of many fanfics).

Adrien is clearly shown mourning his mother, and I think that his withdrawn manner and the fact that he always wears earbuds at the start of the movie makes a lot of sense.

Marinette and Adrien are chosen as guardians in a slightly different way, and I think I like Tikki's movie introduction more than the one in the show (however, see another point about this further below). Also, the idea behind the ladybug and cat miraculouses was well explained in my opinion.

I really liked the first meeting between Ladybug and CN. CN was characteristically cocky, and LB was very reasonably annoyed with him throughout it all (more so than in the show, as far as I recall). While there were a few moments during the fight itself that felt a bit cringe, their interactions were still pretty great. I also liked how CN went from seeing himself as the main superhero with LB being his sidekick, to acknowledging that it's probably the other way around and that they work best as a team. Also, his pet name for her is pretty cute (though I kind of miss the names he calls her in the show).

Some bad changes:

The fashion-related connection between Marinette, Adrien and Gabriel was completely removed. Adrien isn't a model it seems (at least it was never mentioned), and it was only briefly shown at the start of the movie that Gabriel is a fashion designer. Marinette still does fashion sketches, but the whole reason for why she is obsessed with Adrien at first as well as the fact that she looks up to his father a lot is completely non-existent. The connection just isn't mentioned at all.

Adrien and Marinette are barely shown interacting outside of their first meeting, their resolution, and a brief montage in-between. It doesn't really make sense why Marinette is even interested in Adrien (see also my previous point). It doesn't even make sense that she would like him just because she's lonely and not used to attention, because movie Adrien barely gives her any...

Marichat and Ladrien have ZERO interactions. It's a shame and a huge minus.

The way that Ladybug's and CN's powers work is a disappointment. We're told that they have the power of creation and destruction respectively, and this is shown in a few scenes (CN destroys some things, LB repairs some things), but gone are all the clever strategies from the show where LB had to figure out a creative way to solve their problems. The way her powers are portrayed in the movie, it seems like Tikki does everything for her. Her yo-yo seems to have a life of her own and pulls her along without her consent a lot of the time, and she never has to think for herself about how to solve a problem because her powers miraculously show her exactly what to do. We do get a few cool scenes where LB and CN execute moves in tandem though, but that's about the extent of it. Basically, LB isn't a strong, clever superhero; she's pretty much a doll puppeteered around by Tikki. (A bit of an exaggeration but that is how I felt.)

The reveal between Marinette and Adrien feels underwhelming, both because of how little we have seen of their friendship and interactions throughout the movie, and because the reveal itself is done in a rather anticlimactic way. Marinette has already known who he is for a while at that point (it's unclear exactly how long), and Adrien seems to realize who she is as soon as she calls his name. They barely speak during the reveal and it is difficult to know how they feel about it all outside of Marinette's shy expressions and Adrien's shocked eyes. The whole ~masquerade reveal~ felt like an attempt at fanservice that unfortunately fell flat.

Alya was a good character in this movie, but I think she should have received more screentime. I would much rather have seen more of her and Marinette than suffer through her bad scenes with Nino (more on that below).

Chloé was done dirty. It's like they added her in just because "she's supposed to be there" without taking the time to making her actually fit in with the other changes they had made. Not only did she seem to fluctuate between three or four different personalities throughout the movie, she also made very light of the concept of bullying in a COMPLETELY unnecessary and shockingly badly written line at the end of the movie. (This is literally a direct quote: "Marinette, I hope you have a lovely evening, because next year, bullying's back on.") Also, she bragged about being favored by Adrien, even though they had zero interactions in the movie? (I don't remember them having one, at least.)

Plagg was done REALLY dirty. Every single scene he was in was cringe and badly written. His entire personalty was boiled down to "he fart lol".

Lastly, Adrien was also done dirty. He's barely given a discernible personality outside of "I'm sad and miss my parents" and "I'm a cocky superhero who loves puns". The way he handles being told that Marinette has another love interest is immature and spiteful, his first meeting with Marinette ends with him leaving out of nowhere and thinking that she's weird, and we never get to see how kind, shy, clever, awkward and perceptive he can be. The contrast between him and his superhero persona is badly explained; someone who hasn't seen the show wouldn't know that he longs for adventure and the freedom to express himself, because his struggles as a homeschooled model with few sincere friends are completely absent from the movie. Basically, he's made into a rather one note character (well, I guess two note, really, with at best a wobbly connection between the two sides).

Other things that weren't changes per se, but that I have Opinions about:

I'm torn on how they remade Marinette's "awakening". Just like in the show, she refuses Tikki's powers at first, before eventually accepting them and having her growth arc. I think this is an important part of her larger character arc. However, considering how short the movie is, it's my opinion that they dedicate a disproportionate amount of time to this arc, where I feel that there were important plot and characterization details they could have used that time for instead. I understand that they probably did this because they wanted to focus a lot on Marinette's "hero's journey" in this movie, but it was almost like they dragged it all out.

Related to the previous point, there is quite a lot of "be yourself" and "trust your heart" and "overcome your fears" propaganda shoved down the viewer's throat throughout the movie. I watched the movie with my partner, and every time that Marinette started singing, I jokingly went, "do you think this song will be the next 'Let It Go'?" I mean, it's a good message to give kids I guess, but it was so much that I couldn't help but view it cynically.

Nino could have been removed as a character. No, actually, he should have been. He was extremely one note in a way that borders on being a racist depiction, his romance arc with Alya was flat and unnecessary, his "romantic advice" to Adrien was cliche and cringe, and he fulfils no purpose in the story whatsoever (possibly apart from being Adrien's only friend at first, but that's so brushed over that I don't think it would matter if it was removed).

I liked almost all of the interactions between Ladybug and CN. They were fun, cute and mostly felt natural. The few issues I have are mostly present in the show as well, so I have nothing to complain about regarding the movie itself.

As a contrast to the previous point however, there were, in my opinion, way too many one liners and far too few sincere interactions between characters. Some of the interactions were so weirdly cut short that they felt jarring or superficial. I saw a good example of this in another post from the early parts of the movie, where Marinette is sad because she feels lonely at school, her mother tells her to cheer up and be herself, at which Marinette suddenly does cheer up and goes "you're right!!" (I'm paraphrasing, but the meat of the issue is that the change in her mood is unnaturally sudden, and it feels like there's so much more that had to be said between the lines for that to happen).

The climax felt somewhat sudden and uncalled for, both in how it started and how it ended. Hawkmoth's powers (which hadn't been very well explained before this) suddenly became completely different and no longer focused around the power of his kwami. Suddenly he could create storms, and levitate, and use telekinesis??? And while I appreciated the reveal between him and Adrien, it was weird to have Marinette standing nearby without ever seeing her reaction to CN's identity reveal. Also, the ghost hug from Adrien's mother at the end felt a little too on the nose for me.

Final thoughts: If they had spent their budget on a longer movie rather than on licensing 15 seconds or so of Careless Whisper, and if they had cut all of the musical numbers in favor of including some more plot and characterization, I think the movie could have been really great. As it stands, I think the main issues with the movie all boil down to it being too short. Still, I'm glad I watched it, and I think fans of the series will still have a lot to appreciate about it. As for the people who have never seen the show, they might think it's an all right movie, but they're missing out on a lot of the things that make the show so great.

The teaser for a sequel at the end was... Weird, btw. I really don't see how they're going to keep people's interest up for another movie when CN and LB already have had their reveal and romantic arc, unless the supposed sequel focuses on other people (crossing my fingers for a Gabriel-centered movie, I guess).

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2023: Reborn In Another Season As An Isekai Enjoyer

oh nooooooooooo

Idolish7 Third Beat Part 2 (Appendix 1)

The third extension of Idolish7 finally found the opportunity to end, or should I rather say, stop. At one point, I quite liked Idolish7. I don't know whether the show got significantly worse, or whether I just grew tired of it - likely both. In any case, this season was mostly just remarkably boring. Most of it is preoccupied with getting Trigger over - which I can't even call a failure, but it just takes them from annoying jerks to blandly affable. Revale have been sucked dry of anything interesting previously, and Idolish themselves are mainly just going through the motions, more circular histrionic Mezzo drama included. And the new guys, Zool, just fill the newly vacant "annoying jerks" niche. Though to be fair, Toma's slow realization that he's in a band with a bunch of selfish assholes and a cartoonishly evil manager is probably the best legitimate thing this season does. The unintentional high points are rare as well - sometimes the silly drama drops into silly silliness so hard it becomes funny, such as when a murder attempt is the perfect launchpad for some terrible manzai. The epic speeches can have some cringe appeal as well. But the best single moment in the show is when Iori calls Tsumugi in the middle of the night to talk at her on the roof about how Riku has become so moe he might destroy the world, while Tsumugi seems to be trying to figure out how she can leave without turning her back to him. That's some Babylon-tier entertainment right there, but of course it amounts to nothing. Everything amounts to nothing, it's just a soap opera at this point. I don't think I want to find out in exactly what way the upcoming Nagi drama also amounts to nothing, to be honest. 4/10

Trigun Stampede

I've said before that I only watched a bit of Trigun and barely remember any of it apart from not being a fan. What I do remember though is that it's nothing like this remake. I hear that the original gets more dramatic later on, but even so the appeal is probably finding sudden depths in a silly action comedy. Stampede on the other hand mostly resembles someone's awful Trigun x Advent Children fanfic (see attached picture). Which makes Orange's decision to painstakingly recreate the animation tropes of 90s action comedies in 3D puzzling, because as good as they are, now they're in a show where they don't belong. Also, it's nice that Orange have figured out how to make appealing 3D animation in general, but I really don't care how much you spin your camera if you're spinning it around uninteresting characters in an uninteresting, generic desert setting (to be replaced with a uninteresting, generic tech hallway setting later on). It's still watchable, especially early on when the content is more episodic, but it never amounts to "enjoyable" unless you're awfully interested in how to apply production wrong. 4/10

Nijiyon Animation

Nijigaku never was the most interesting Love Live, and its "full" version already trended towards the contentless side. Nijiyon is just an even more stripped down version of that. Not that that's a surprise, I suppose it's pretty much average for a tie-in short, but it certainly doesn't reach the highs of a Garupa Pico. The adaptataion of Miyako Hito's character designs to 3D animation also leaves quite a bit to be desired. On the other hand, 3 minutes a week don't need to be good to bother with, and there is a few episodes that are a bit more creative than not at all. Overall, barely acceptable for what it is. 5/10

Koori Zokusei Danshi to Cool na Douryou Joshi

Now this is a case where I don’t even know what to say. This show is so insubstantial that I had to spend the season with a team of particle scientists at CERN to even determine with 3-sigma confidence whether it actually exists. Now, lack of much of anything means there’s nothing to take exception with, so it’s not a bad experience in the moment, but in hindsight it becomes hard to argue that there wouldn’t have been better ways to spend the time - especially since the ending is somehow the least committed part of it. It does have its occasional moments, but even those are mostly happening in the periphery with the supporting cast. It’s cute and not annoying, but that’s not really the standard anything should aspire to. 5/10

Ooyukiumi no Kaina

So here's the other adventure anime of the season, and since I talk about it later, it's better than Trigun (and no, Hikari no Ou will not show up later since it was too bad to pick up). It doesn't have the luxurious character animation, or to be more precise, it has actually pretty bad character animation courtesy of Polygon. But on the other hand, the environment is worth showing in the first place. In fact, Kaina's gorgeous and interesting setting may be its biggest asset, since the characters are fairly bland and the story is extremely basic and somewhat flimsy too - it's hard to describe since languid pacing isn't exactly a rarity, but this one just doesn't feel slow, it feels lacking in content. this gets better towards the end, but even then it's just barely enough. So no surprises coming from Nihei. And yeah, there's a bunch of Blame references too. So, not exactly great but unlike Trigun, at least moderately engaging. 6/10

Benriya Saitou-san, Isekai ni Iku

They did it, the absolute madlads. Now, Handyman is not the first isekai story worth watching, but it may be the closest to the average basic bitch isekai that pulls it off and the first to have the curse-word in the title. That said, it still isn't really one of those (if it was, it would be terrible by definition). What it actually is is a fairly widely scoped fantasy parody, and since isekai is just the prime trope in fantasy nowadays, isekai takes a fairly major role but it isn't what really defines it. I'd describe it as somewhat like early Discworld through the lens of LN fantasy ca. 2023. And then it just stops being a moderately funny comedy and turns into moderately engaging drama, mostly centered around senile wizard Morlock. Like Kaina, it isn't outstanding or anything but it does feel pretty special for making this work at all, starting with a cursed genre and then pulling off the hairy feat of changing tones. I respect it. 6/10

D4DJ All Mix

This seemed like a pretty safe bet, and I can't say I'm disappointed. Another competent Sanzigen adaptation of a Bushiroad gacha franchise, what a time to be alive. That said, All Mix is not as good as First Mix mostly on account of First Mix actually having something resembling a story. All Mix now features 6 bands and especially early on, all it can do with it is giving all the characters a chance to do their gimmick in turn. Thankfully that gets better later on, but even then it's only episodic mini-plots with one or two bands. Lyrical Lily gets comparatively the most attention, and they're a pretty likeable bunch, but they're still no Happy Around. So All Mix has all the Umamusume focus problems while not even having the occasional real standout subplots of that show. It's cute enough, but very insubstantial even compared to its hardly profound predecessor. 6/10

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale

Conventional wisdom says that a romantic comedy doesn't need much more than two good leads, and by that metric Sugar Apple Fairy Tale certainly delivers. Ann and Challe have a good, sweet and spicy dynamic going on that's consistently entertaining. So far so good then, what's the catch? The catch is that this isn't a romantic comedy and often tries for drama, and on that front it doesn't do so well. But first, I'll say that this show's takes on slavery and misogyny aren't so hot. Not that I expect nuance or complexity from a thing that has "fairy tale" literally in the title, or that I think they have the wrong attitude, but if all you're saying amounts to "it sure is bad", that's not worth the time this show spends on it. All it does is fuel the drama, and as stated, said drama is not the highlight anyway. The cast beside the main two is a mixed bag as well, especially the moustache twirling villains, who just keep stealing Ann's sugar for moustache twirling reasons. The setting is functional but not much more than that. So in the end, this show has quite a bit going for it but instantly gets into trouble when it tries to do anything more meaingful than cute fluff, which is fairly often. 6/10

Mou Ippon!

Mou Ippon is extremely easy to describe: It's a very simple but competent sports shounen manga adaptation with a notably strong cast. That right there tells you everything you need to know, good and bad. The bad is limited to the "sports shounen manga" part, because that kind of storytelling just never quite works for me in animation. Whenever sport is taking place, expect an intense amount of sideline commentary and minutes of flashback in the middle of every other throw. It just is what it is. The "simple" part is already more of a benefit than a detriment though, because Mou Ippon knows what it's good at and stays in its lane, which is giving the characters room to do their thing. And all the characters, including all the opponents, are likeable and fleshed out just enough to make them seem fully realized, without overcomplicating things. This leads to some nice positive seishun vibes, and while the simplicity limits how good this show really can be, when executed this well I'll take it over misguided ambition everyday. It's just enjoyable. 7/10

Tensei Oujo to Tensai Reijou no Mahou Kakumei

So after Handyman Saitou was pretty decent, this one is the real twist. Sure, it doesn't have "isekai" in the title, but that's only the top of the list of garbage LN source material tells, and "tensei" is right behind it, just ahead of "yuusha" and "maou". So imagine my surprise when the "reincarnation" part of this show is entirely limited to about a minute of conversation in the final episode and even then its relevalnce is questionable. That's as good a way to do it as I've ever seen, question remains if they really had to pull a ruse like this. I've seen plenty of pointlessly isekai shows before, but they were never as minimal as this and more importantly, they were never good anyway. And Tensei Oujo is good indeed, it's a solid romantic fantasy drama with a setting and characters strong enough to carry that weight, and it's simply fun to see trash queen Anisphia and cool princess Euphie develop their relationship through trials and tribulations that are neither too farfetched (for a fantasy story anyway) nor too generic - mostly. Yes, the base content delivers, but there's still too many underwhelming lazor fight scenes that add nothing and aren't exciting in their own right, there's too many plot arcs that repeat too many of the same beats, it's a bit too talky and slowly paced, and the drama flips into melodrama occasionally, especially towards the end. So it is indeed a light novel, but I won't hold that against it too strongly when it delivers the one thing I didn't expect, namely a real ending. And that ending has everything one traditionally expects from a proper ending too: closure, denouement and lesbian sex. 7/10

[ruminate88]

Fake It Till You Make It? 🥴

My aunt and my uncle said to me before “I’ve never seen anyone love someone so much as your husband loves you” 😭😭😭😭 I was thinking in my head “I just don’t see it or believe it” BUT WHY CANT I????

The first year of marriage I got cellulitis in my blood stream at Christmas and had to be hospitalized for 4 days hooked up so many I.Vs all full saline and antibiotics to basically cleanse all that stuff out of my system. I was all swollen and exhausted. You can not rest in a hospital. My husband only left my side one time ever to rush home and take a quick shower and change his clothes. The antibiotics they gave me, made me extremely nauseous so they had to give me a separate shot to cure the nausea but then THAT shot made me drowsy to where I couldn’t keep awake. Yet they kept waking me up every hour to check my vitals and make sure I wasn’t getting worse. I would say to my new man “go home and play your video games, I’m just laying here sleeping anyhow. You are probably bored and uncomfortable sitting there.”

My husband refused to leave my side… Now, I was grateful and trying to trust him with all my strength. I felt close to him somewhat but not completely. Even after Christmas, I pushed and pushed to feel close to him. I was planning our future. Our kids and old age. My husband has even talked about “when we’re older” and it almost makes me cringe 😫 ugh it sucks!!!!!!!

This morning even, before the alarm went off. I purposely laid my head over on his chest so he could wrap me up 🥺❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I told myself “this is what you want. This is real. He loves you and he IS trustworthy.” God please I want to believe it and feel it. I’ve been so disconnected and frustrated in my heart. My husband has been the most real and genuine guy I know. When he talks about his job, I feel like he really wants to be a good employee and make his boss look good. When he talks about his family, I sense he truly has their back and puts them first. When he talks about other people, I NEVER hear him say a bad word about someone unless he thinks they’re a really bad person…. Like, he’s sooo real.

Every time my husband has made any mistake tho, I’ve jumped into the overthinking, over analyzing and worrying, that, “oh what if he’s been pretending just like Andrew did?? What if he’s been lying all this time??” 😖 it’s miserable to live like this!!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!

This *invisible wall* in front of me, has me working harder than I’ve ever had trying to either get around it, jump over it or even go through it. HOW DO I REMOVE THE EMOTIONAL BARRIER???? I mean, I intentionally married my husband. I said yes to him and chose him. (Despite being trauma bonded to Andrew and forcing myself to block his number and walk away) I know I believed my new man was nicer than any of my exes and he could respect me more than anyone else!! Just…. I can’t feel it. I’ve tried to fake it till I make it. (Basically that’s awful but I mean, I couldn’t trust myself after Andrew.)

Some days I’ve cried inside so hard thinking Andrew and Cody stole my ability to feel love but that’s a lie!!!! I just know it is. They didn’t steal my ability, they broke my trust. I have to rebuild trust daily and I’m trying so freakin hard. I’ve talked to my mom in law a little bit about it and she said it was emotionally mature of me to recognize my problem and accept accountability for it. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

My husband sometimes treats me like he’s my “father” too even though I’m a lot older than him lol and he purposely gets over protective. Yet he buys me stuff as his way to “show love” and I have trouble accepting the gifts cuz I don’t feel like I deserve anything nor do I want gifts. I just want to feel good. I just always feel bad for my past. I’ve felt so much guilt and shame from Andrew. Andrew slut shamed me so much for sending him my nudes even though he’s asking for them and flirting with me. Lying to me that he loved me when he was just using me. 💔

I’m working to forgive myself too not just Andrew or Cody or Jake. It’s been a long road and so difficult but a learning process too. I am daily convincing myself my exes lied to me and that my husband is everything I’ve ever wanted and needed….. I’ve got so much to work on and do better at. ONE DAY AT A TIME ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[autumnalwalker]

Pride Month Drabble Challenge: Day 25, Shadow

Reblog of the challenge rules with links to my posts is here.

“And tonight’s conversational prompt card is: ‘What is something embarrassing that you have never told anyone?’ ” 

“That sounds fake.”

“See for yourself.”

“Oh come on.  Fiiiine.”

“You want me to go first?”

“No, I’ve got one.  So, you know how I said I don’t actually believe in any of that mystical witchcore stuff I’m into, I just like the aesthetic?”

“Yeah.  Go on.”

“So, there was this one time I actually, for real, in all seriousness might have….”

“You might have…”

“Tried to summon a demon.”

“Eh, teens do wilder things.”

“Maybe but this was just a couple years before we met.  So not exactly a teenager at the time.”

“Oh.”

“In my defense, I was in a pretty bad place at the time, mental health-wise.  Wasn’t sleeping much.  Living alone.  Stressed out with a job I hated.  No social life.  And deeply, deeply in the closet and tearing myself up with what to do about that.  My judgment at the time was pretty well shot.”

“No offense, but there’s shot judgment and then there’s - A - believing in the supernatural and - B - trying to do about the most obviously bad idea possible if it were real.”

“Hey, the card asked for embarrassing.  But I guess you could say I was just the right combination of bored and desperate.  So when I found some instructions from a weird internet forum I figured worst case scenario it was a novel way to spend an evening and best case scenario it turns out magic is real and I get a new body out of the deal.”

“A new - oh…”

“Yeah…  Anyway, I spent some time vectorizing the provided image of the so-called ‘summoning circle,’ memorized the incantation and got about halfway through jerry-rigging a setup to mount my projector on the hanging ceiling fan lamp pointing at the floor.  It took a slip off the chair I was using in lieu of a stepladder and almost breaking my neck to snap me out of the sort of fugue state I’d gotten myself into.  Had a moment of ‘What am I doing?  This is dumb,’ got a proper night’s sleep for once, and started looking up LGBT-friendly therapists the next morning. The one real spooky part is I could never find that forum site again, even though I swear I bookmarked it.  Probably just got taken down or something, but it makes the whole thing a little bit more eerie.”

“Wow.  That’s way more intense than my embarrassing thing.”

“Eh.  There’s a reason I never told anyone.  But, your turn.”

“You know that box of mine labeled ‘Do not open’ that I’m impressed you haven’t touched since we moved in?”

“You’re finally going to tell me what it is?!”

“It’s full of DVDs.”

“Porn?”

“Worse.  Rom-coms.”

“Rom-coms?  As in romantic comedies?”

“Unfortunately yes.  I had a phase in my late teens and early twenties where I was secretly somehow convinced that it was actually the pinnacle of film genres and that I was a connoisseur of the art form.”

“You’re pulling my leg right now, aren’t you.”

“God, I wish I was.  I’m just glad I was self aware enough not to bring it up with anyone else at the time.”

“Eh, who doesn’t have their personal cringe factor at that age?  So, what ended the phase?”

“I tried actually dating.  For whatever reason they lost their magic for me after that.”

“You know, it’s my turn to pick for next movie night.”

“To steal a phrase from you, ‘Just kill me now.’ “

“Oh come on.  Maybe after all this time it will have circled back around to being nostalgic.”

“Are you sure you didn’t actually summon something back then and get demonically possessed?”

“Heh.  Pretty sure.”

[messers-moony]

Hope 2 | R.L

Paring: Remus Lupin X Wife!Potter!Reader

Summary: Life is unfair in numerous ways but it seems like it’s out to get the Potters in every way shape and form.

The huge eight-foot man who introduced himself as Hagrid was bringing Harry around London. It was amusing to see Hagrid turn his cousin - Dudley - butt into a pigtail after trying to eat his birthday cake. It was the first birthday Y/n, and Remus hadn’t shown up. Harry didn’t blame them. Of course, to be fair, they didn’t know where Harry was. 

“Um, excuse me, Hagrid?” 

“Yes, ‘Arry?”

“Where- Where are we going?” Harry questioned hesitantly, and Hagrids lips curled into a smile, “‘Er gon’ meet with som’ of yer folks.” Hagrid answered. 

Harry wanted to jump with joy, “Moony and Y/n?”

Hagrid nodded, and Harry smiled brightly. It took a couple of minutes and walking of a couple more blocks. But eventually, they were coming up on an old-looking building made of black stone bricks. In front of the door was a familiar sandy-haired male with green eyes. He was accompanied by his wife with h/c hair and gleaming e/c eyes. 

“Y/n! Remus!” 

Y/n turned to see her little nephew running up to hug her tightly, “Hey Harry.” 

Remus ruffled his hair while Harry hugged his aunt, “Hey there, mini Prongs.”

“I missed you.”

“Awe, I missed you too, Harry.” Y/n replied, pulling apart from Harry, “I’m sorry we didn’t show up right away. But we’re here now. I hope that’s okay. We wouldn’t miss your birthday for the world, okay?”

He nodded, “I know. I can always count on you.” 

“Good.” Remus stated, “Now c’mon mini prongs. Gotta get your school supplies.”

Walking into the Leaky Cauldron with Hagrid, they were greeted by multiple people. Many people were flabbergasted by meeting the famous Harry Potter and were welcoming to see Y/n Potter. In the back of the Leaky Cauldron, Hagrid tapped his wand against the brick wall, causing it to open into Diagon Alley. Harry’s mouth was agape at this new form of Magic. 

It was astonishing. The narrow alleyway was packed with people. Clusters of them walking in groups. Some were carrying animals, or brown-wrapped items Harry could suppose were books. Y/n smiled and intertwined her hand with Remus’. She could remember the first time she stepped into Diagon Alley. James was acting like such a prat. 

“Woah!” James gasped, “Look at all the cool stuff!” 

Fleamont chuckled, “Yeah. Isn’t it cool, sweetheart?”

Y/n nodded, completely entranced in the stonework in the alleyway. It was littered with different shops, and the roads were an uneven stone. Euphemia and Fleamont shared a look of pure glee. Their children were magical born, and they were finally experiencing it first hand. Of course, they had their incidents where Y/n would make lights flicker or James blowing plates. 

As they began walking, James began to run off, bumping into people left and right, “James! Get back here!” Fleamont scolded, but he was out of sight. 

Euphemia sighed, “He’s gonna be a handful.”

“Definitely.” Fleamont agreed, running a hand through his dark brunet hair, “Perhaps he’ll be even worse than me.”

His wife glared at him. Despite James disappearing, they took Y/n into Flourish and Blotts to get their books. They needed books such as The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1), A History of Magic, Magical Theory, A Beginners’ Guide to Transfiguration, One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, Magical Drafts and Potions, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and finally, The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection. 

They didn’t find James until they reached Quality Quidditch Supplies. He was already eyeing the new broom on display. His mouth seemed to be salivating at it. Y/n rolled her eyes at James, drooling over a piece of wood. Euphemia chuckled and motioned Fleamont to reel him back in. It seemed that Euphemia would never get a break, and her heart would be in a constant attack of worry. They had a mischief Quidditch player on their hands. 

“C’mon Harry,” Y/n beckoned, “Lots of stuff to get.”

His smile faltered just a tad, “But I don’t- I don’t have any money.”

Harry’s embarrassment made the tips of his ears red, “That ain’t true. ‘Course ye got money.” Hagrid replied bluntly, making Y/n nudge him harshly, “Hagrid!”

“What?” Hagrid queried, confused, “‘S not like ‘m lyin’.” 

“Yes, but you don’t just say that.” Y/n scolded, laughing lightly. 

“Oops?”

Harry looked up at his flustered aunt, “Come on, Harry. We’re going to Gringotts.”  

They began walking to the bank of wizardry. The goblin at the front allowed them to the vault, where Harry was able to pocket a couple of handfuls of galleons, sickles, and knuts. Hagrid made a separate trip for Dumbledore as the other three waited patiently. When they exited Gringotts, Harry began to buy all his supplies. 

Their first stop was getting him a wand at Ollivander’s. Harry pushed the door open, and it sounded a bell off, but no one appeared the be in the shop. Remus and Y/n stood behind him as he let out a hesitant, “Hello.”

It took a minute, but then an older male appeared with hair as white as snow and wispy as whiskers. Ollivander smiled brightly at the familiar people in his shop and at the little boy who resembled the older female greatly. 

“Ah, Y/n Potter.” Ollivander said, “James broken his wand again?”

Y/n released a shaky breath, “No, not this time.” 

“We’re here actually for Harry here.” Remus motioned to Harry, “He’s getting his first wand. He starts at Hogwarts this year.”

Ollivander's lips quirked, “He yours?”

“No, sir.” Y/n shook her head, “He’s James and Lily’s son.”

“Where are they? I’d love to see them, you know.”

Remus shifted awkwardly, “You haven’t heard?”

Ollivander shook his head, “My parents are dead.” Harry informed, “Someone killed them.”

Everything clicked into place in Ollivanders mind. How stupid could old age make him? He had just sounded terribly insensitive, “‘M so sorry. Pardon me and my old age. I didn’t mean-“

“It’s perfectly fine, Ollivander.” Y/n smiled reassuringly.

The older man smiled and began giving Harry wands. The first one was horrid. It made wands on the shelf fall onto the ground, making a vast clatter noise. The boy smiled sheepishly and placed it back in the box. The next wand caused a shatter of a vase which Harry cringed at. It took a couple of minutes until Ollivander came out with the following wand. It was 11 inches long, made of holly, and possessed a phoenix feather core. 

Harry waved the wand, and nothing disastrous happened. Remus and Y/n smiled with joy. Ollivander charged him seven galleons for it, and Harry placed down the golden coins with glee. Ollivander could remember the way James had done the same while Y/n beside him. Their identical toothy grins as Fleamont paid the man.

“My wands cooler than yours!”

“No way!” 

James nodded in triumph, “You’re just lame.”

“And you’re boring!”

“No way!” James gasped, “I am far from boring!”

Y/n crossed her arms, “And I’m not lame.”

Euphemia chuckled, redirecting her children to look at the counter while the two parents stood behind them, “Ignore them. They like to try and be better than the other.”

Ollivander grinned, “Ah, siblings. What amazing pairs they make.”

Fleamont scoffed, “Yeah, try having two at the same time. Felt like the crucio curse.” 

“What do you say?” Euphemia beckoned, and both twins turned to Ollivander, smiling gleefully, “Thank you!” 

“They’ll be a handful.” Ollivander informed Euphemia and Fleamont, “But they’ll change the world, and they’ll do it together.” 

The older man smiled at Remus and Y/n as Harry went outside to see Hagrid carrying a giant golden cage with a beautiful snowy owl inside, “That boy is something else.”

Remus chuckled, “We know. Little mischief-maker, just like James.”

“Perhaps he is,” Ollivander replied, “But he’ll change the world.”

The rest of the day went by blissfully. After getting all his school supplies, they retreated into the Leaky Cauldron to eat dinner. The tavern was practically empty as they sat at a long narrow table. Hagrid at the head, Harry to his left, Remus across, and Y/n beside Remus on the other side. They were eating in silence before Harry spoke up. 

“What happened to my parents?” Harry questioned, and before anyone could answer, he continued, “Truthfully. No lies.”

Hagrid and Remus turned to the female at the table who swallowed thickly, “Something horrid, Harry.”

“How horrid?”

“Harry-“ Remus began. 

“A death I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, even my worse enemy.” Y/n answered, staring at the soup in front of her, “The way they died doesn’t matter.”

Harry crossed his arms, “I believe it does.”

“In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t.” Y/n replied, taking deep breaths in and out, trying to stay calm, “It doesn’t matter how they died. They’re dead, and they aren’t coming back.”

Tears collected in her eyes when she muttered, “No matter how badly I want them to.”

Hastily Y/n wiped her face and placed her napkin on the table. She sniffled before standing and pushing her chair in. Y/n leaned down to kiss Harry on the forehead before retreating to the room they got upstairs. Harry sighed and stared at his bowl of soup that remained steaming hot. Remus rubbed his face with his palms. 

“Harry,” Remus called, and Harry’s green eyes met similar ones, “Your parents died at the hands of a very evil Wizard. He went as dark as one could go.”

Harry looked intrigued, and Remus continued despite his throat beginning to constrict, “His name was Voldemort, but most people call him ‘You-Know-Who.”

Hagrid flinched at the actual name being said, “James risked everything to try and save you and your mother. When he died, Lily tried to save you. In the end, it all worked out because you were saved. You didn’t die like you were supposed to.”

“Why did aunt Y/n leave the table?”

“Talking about this is still hard for her.” Remus replied, and Harry could see the tears in his eyes too, “It’s hard for me too, but- but you need to know.”

“What were they to you?” 

“James and Lily were everything to me, Harry. Everything and so much more. Your mother saw the good in people when they didn’t see it themselves. Your father? Well-“ He chuckled, “He was a trip and a prat. But he cared for those around him. Treated me like family and took care of me like a brother.”

Harry fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater, “James was a mischief-maker that one.” Hagrid said, “Always up to no good.”

“Him and that Sirius boy.” Hagrid chuckled, “Dynamic duo those two.”

Remus let out a tearful chuckle, “Yeah, that was Padfoot and Prongs.”

“Always up to no good.” Remus whispered. 

The following day Remus had waken up to what he swore was the most perfect sight. Y/n was still sleeping beside him. Her head was nestled under his chin, drinking in his body heat. Her hair was laid against the fluffy white pillow. Their legs were intertwined together. Gently Remus kissed her forehead before seeing the clock read about nine o’clock. 

Remus took five more minutes to admire her before waking her up. He began to kiss all over her face, and Y/n scrunched her nose, waking up as his lips kept attaching to a new place on her face. He smiled as she opened her eyes to meet his green ones. 

“Mornin’ love.” 

His Welsh accent was to die for, “Morning, Rem.”

“You ready to take Harry to Platform Nine and Three Quarters?”

Y/n shook her head, “No. Not really.”

“Hey,” Remus said softly, stroking her hair, “You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

“There are so many memories there, Rem.” Y/n replied, “Like- Like meeting Sirius for the first time.”

“Or seeing you come back after fourth year with an entirely new style.” Remus chuckled, “Or- Or seeing James almost fall out of the train. 

Remus caressed her cheek with his thumb, “We’ll make it through, love. Harry needs us today.”

“Yeah.” She replied breathily, “He does.”

They both ventured out of bed into the cool air of London. Remus, Y/n, and Hagrid walked Harry to Kings Cross. When they arrived, Hagrid had departed from them to do something for Dumbledore. Harry was bluntly confused when his ticket read Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Last he checked, that wasn’t a platform. 

As they reached the main floor of the train station, Remus and Y/n recognized the Weasleys almost instantly. Molly had embraced them tightly as they all went through the platform. Harry gave his trunks to the man at the end of the train and turned to the only family he had left. His eyes glistened with tears, and he tried to hold them back but failed. 

“Harry,” Y/n knelt to his level, “You’re gonna be okay. I promise. James and I made lots of friends at Hogwarts.”

He smiled at the mention of his father, “Do you think… Do you think he’d be proud of me?”

“They’d be beyond proud, Harry.” Remus replied, smiling, “You’re everything they wanted you to be.”

Harry turned back to Y/n and hugged her tightly, “Please make sure you write to us.” 

“‘Course, Auntie.” Harry replied as they pulled apart, “Love you guys.” 

Y/n stood beside Remus, “We love you too, sweetheart.” 

Harry smiled and wiped his cheeks before hopping on the train. He found a compartment alone and watched out the window as the train began moving. Y/n and Remus watched as the train hauled by. Kids who started waving their last goodbyes to their parents. 

“Mum, dad!” James exclaimed from inside the compartment, “We love you!”

Euphemia and Fleamont chuckled tearfully, “We love you guys too!” 

Truthfully James never wanted to leave his parents. They were his entire world. When Kings Cross was no longer in sight, he plopped down in the seat beside Y/n, who put her head on his shoulder. His left arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her tightly to his side. 

“We got this, sis.” James assured, “We always have each other.”

It didn’t take long for Harry to get in trouble. As a matter of fact, it made Y/n laugh that within the first month, he had already managed a detention. She had settled for a letter rather than a Howler. Remus had made sure to tell him his fair of scolding words (“Say hi to Minnie for me!”). Harry smiled when the letter arrived in the morning. 

Harry definitely made sure to say hi to “Minnie,” which made McGonagall smile like an idiot despite her usual strict nature. She could see and hear James saying the name when she gave them detention or Sirius’ pouty face begging her to have some form of mercy on them, for they had just turned the Slytherin robes red. Ever the dramatics that Black. 

When he arrived back at the Platform, he nuzzled into Y/n and Remus’ arms before departing to the Dursleys. But all was good because in just a month he’d see them again for his birthday, which he did. They took him to Diagon Alley to get his second-year stuff along with some ice cream to celebrate his twelfth birthday. 

He spent a week of his summer with them in their little house in London. It was far better than Privet Drive, and he felt a lot safer. But after the week was up, he was forced to return to the Dursleys. Within a week of being back, he’d managed to screw everything up. A thing named Dobby had quite literally dumped puddling all over one of the Dursley’s guests, and that got him trapped in his room. 

Thankfully, Ronald Weasley, who had become his close friend, had saved him. Harry went to the Burrow for the first time and met everyone else. Molly had notified Remus and Y/n of his entrance. Sadly, they couldn’t make it to the Platform for reasons. Molly wouldn’t tell Harry, but he was okay with it. 

Until Ron and he smashed into the brick wall, making them late for the train. It was then Ron had a brilliant thought of taking the flying car to Hogwarts. It did work until they got stuck in the Whomping Willow and then got caught by Severus Snape. A letter was sent home to Y/n and Molly. Both of which made two very different Howlers to their children. 

Molly’s howler was scolding them, and it made Ron’s ears turn pink. Y/n and Remus’ howler was a different story. The moment it opened, laughter rang through the Great Hall. Familiar laughter of Remus and Y/n. It made McGonagall furious and happy at the same time. 

“Merlin Harry!” Remus’ voice rang out, “You’re brilliant, aren’t you!” 

“Remus, we’re supposed to be scolding him!” Y/n retorted jokingly, “I’m scolding myself for never thinking of it!” Remus replied. 

Y/n chuckled, “Obviously, you shouldn't have done that, Harry; however, as long as you’re not harmed, we aren’t mad. Just be more careful next time.”

Remus was still dying of laughter, “Remus is still dying of laughter. We love you, Harry. Stay safe.”

Ron looked appalled with the coolness of the howler, “Bloody hell, you have a cool family.”

“They’re pretty cool.” Harry shrugged, smiling. 

Y/n and Remus would be lying if the whole petrifying thing didn’t scare them. They were worried for Harry’s safety but weren’t surprised when Harry ended up saving them all like last year. When they were on the Platform, Remus began getting on the train with him after kissing Y/n goodbye. 

He was grunting and groaning at every movement. The bags beneath his eyes looked more prominent than usual. Remus moved sluggishly, which was very unlike him. But Harry didn’t question it until he began to get on the train at Harry’s side. 

“Uncle Moony?”

“Yes, Harry?” Remus replied after sitting in a compartment, his cloak covering most of his body. 

“Why’re you on the train?”

He chuckled, “I’m your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.”

Harry smiled, and Remus fell into a dreamless sleep after a rough full moon the night prior. Hermione and Ron joined them not too long after as Harry began telling them about Sirius Black. The year went by as eventful as usual. Harry found out the accurate way his parents died along with Remus and Y/n. Peter Pettigrew being the culprit and then leaving before someone could catch him. 

Afterward, Sirius had been staying in the guest bedroom at Y/n and Remus’. He didn’t want to go back to Grimmauld Place. That was the last place he wanted to go. So despite not wanting to be a burden, he took the position that Y/n offered him. Ever so kind, just like James. When he walked through those doors, Y/n had hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. 

“It’s good to have you back, older brother.”

Sirius could’ve cried on the spot, “It’s nice to see you again, little sis.”

The next couple of years were a trip. Fourth-year Harry had managed to get his name pulled out of the Goblet of Fire, leading to a new adventure of challenges. After finishing his fourth year, Cedric Diggory had died, marking the return of Voldemort, which had traumatized Harry in more than one way. That summer, he decided to stay with Y/n, Remus, and Sirius. They were all fantastic help throughout the entire thing. Through his nightmares, Y/n would make him hot chocolate and sit on the couch with him as he talked. 

Fifth-year was dreadful. Delores Umbridge had come into the office as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, and the Order of the Phoenix reformed. Her detentions were terrible and horrid, especially for the first years. They were just kids, for Merlin’s sake. It made Y/n fume when she saw the back of Harry’s hand. The night they ventured to the Department of Mysteries was almost the worst night Harry could have dreamed of. 

Sirius had almost died if Y/n wasn’t as quick as she was. Bellatrix was stunned to see her spell deflected but kept firing nonetheless. When they got home, it was silent. Remus had made tea for himself and Sirius while making hot chocolate for the other two. Harry had laid his head on Y/n’s shoulder and fallen asleep. 

Truth be told, sixth year wasn’t any better. Dumbledore had died, and Harry was left to find the rest of the Horcruxes. It was then Sirius learned the actual death of his brother, making him mourn him all over again. Seventh year Harry, Ron, and Hermione ventured out to find the rest of them. 

When Harry returned to Hogwarts through the passageway to the Room of Requirement with Snape as headmaster, the war had officially started. In the end, everything had fallen into place. When Harry used the resurrection stone, he saw them. He saw James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius. Harry almost wanted to laugh at seeing them all together. They looked so happy. 

“Where- Where’s Y/n?”

Remus gave a solemn smile, “She made it. She’s still out there. Waiting for you.”

“Does that mean…”

“Turns out my sister is a tougher cookie than I thought.” James stated, and Harry turned to him, “She misses you.”

James chuckled, “As I do her.”

Harry turned back to Remus, “Does she know?”

“She was there when it happened.” Remus replied, “I had to give her one last ‘I love you’ and kiss goodbye, right?”

A noise rumbled from a distance, “It’s time, sweetie.” Lily stated. 

Harry released a shaky breath before dropping the stone on the ground. He had to do this for Y/n, for Ron, for Hermione, for everyone. He was ready. When he stepped in front of Voldemort to die, all he could think about was his Aunt's eyes. The way they glittered with tears when she let him go for the first time. The way they creased when she smiled at his first Christmas. The way they gleamed with mischief when she gave the Weasley twins new prank material. 

His last words would be ones he’d never regret, “Thank you, aunt Y/n, for everything.”

Because through everything, she was the only constant. She was the only one to hold him through anything. Through every nightmare, every battle, every tear, every smile. She was there with her radiant smile and caring nature. 

When Harry defeated Voldemort, the world stopped. It was done. It was over. But the pain wasn’t gone. The trauma wasn’t bypassed. This was more than a war. Harry walked into the Great Hall to see crying parents, kids, and siblings mourning their dead loved ones. His eyes zoomed on Y/n sitting crisscross beside her husband, holding his hand tightly. 

Wordlessly Harry sat beside her and leaned his head against her shoulder. Y/n tilted her head onto his. No tears fell from her eyes despite everything she had gone through, two wars, friends dead, parents dead, brother dead, and now husband dead. 

“His last words were- they were,” She choked, and Harry rubbed her shoulder, “I love you more than Moony loves the moon.”

Harry smiled, “Dad said you were a tough cookie.”

Y/n chuckled, and Harry relished in the sound, “He said that if anyone could get through this, it’s you.”

“Damn it, James.” She said to no one, still holding Remus’ hand. 

“We’ll get through this.” Harry said, “And we’ll do it together.”

“Together.”