#but we also have decent amounts of
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found those sketches I mentioned. and added more
#fantasy high#fhjy#dimension 20#riz gukgak#ft. figueroth faeth gorgug thistlespring and fabian seacaster#I think compared to that first sketch I did of everyone the way I draw these guys has changed a decent amount#which is how it goes lol... its why they tell u to draw a design a Lot before locking it down for ur project#but then I also dont fuss too much abt the details outside of the necessary continuity of like. a comic thing. we have fun here!#as long as the general shapes n such stay relatively recognizeable Im cool with it. Im chill we dont need more than that
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Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#st5 dna board#yes I know a dna board reveal doesn’t qualify as like major promo since most fans want something visual and real#and so it’s likely we’ll get a teaser regardless#which is great#but I’m just imagining the rest of the day being subpar in terms of stuff for us to actually analyze outside of the teaser#they released the s4 dna board during lockdown and a couple months before they even finished writing it#so s5’s board is definitely finalized by now#and it would cost them nothing…#well i mean technically it could cost them everything 😭#it’s just a matter of how on the nose they were about some of the titles it features#and if they’re willing to risk sharing that at this time when there’s still a year until release#i could see a decent amount of films on it being incriminating on so many different fronts#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff#it’s just something that could actually keep us busy analyzing for a while#a teaser would be everything we need rn#but the dna list is what I actually want 😭#i’ve been working on my own st5 dna board wishlist bc I’m so impatient for this#i’m gonna post it tomorrow#it’s time#and in the case they do reveal the dna board next week I want to have mine ready to see if there are any matches#i’ve also been working on my st5vision playlist for nearly 2 years now (jesus) and it’s time to share that too#soon!!
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okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.
So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).
Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.
Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021
Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.
Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)
Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.
It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.
#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpdc#plus amity suddenly going 'we have ghosts' could be seen as a case of city-wide FOMO finally hitting so nobody believes them#and thats if the belief of ghosts not being real is as strong as it is in dp canon#the media blackout could also be /city-induced/ too#where amity parkers are so proud of being 'normal' and 'not having superheros' that many of them try and deny the existence of Phantom#and the mayor and news sources themselves just. stubbornly refuse to let news of ghosts get out to the other cities#do you know how much shit they'll get?? they'll be a laughingstock!#gothamites would never leave them alone. neither would central city or the metropolitans or starling city or--#the other big cities will make fun of them :(#my new favorite hc that stemmed from this is that every major city in the dcu is rivaling with each other#there's a lot you can experiment with this idea imo lmao#this whole post sums up my writing and thinking process pr well tbh#this stemmed because im making a childhood friends au short story doc and wanted to avoid the typical tropes about how AP went undetected#from the rest of the US. bc. im not a fan of the media blackout idea via tucker/technus/gov and i wanted to keep AP an urban city#so i had to come up with something else#hence me looking into DCU cities and how many there are and realizing that there is a decent amount of other cities other than the main#popular ones and being DELIGHTED because then i could use that as an excuse for why amity went overlooked. bc there are many cities with#heroes in it. so its not surprising if another city gets a hero TOO. plus the news also focusing on more popular heroes and cities so again#the news of amity getting a hero gets drowned out by whatever new thing the JL or someone from the JL did that week
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okay sanders sides board game headcanons go
roman-
has the shortest attention span you have ever seen in your entire life, 90% of the time he has to be bribed to play a game longer than five to ten minutes. uno is the exception.
loves-uno, the idea of risk
hates-most other games, the reality of risk
logan-
into the most long, complicated, rule-and-insane-mechanic-heavy games you could possibly find. also anything trivia or random-knowledge-based. he and virgil make everyone play dnd. he is the dm and only does very elaborate homebrew stuff.
loves-trivial pursuit, everdell, that one stock market game that’s really confusing, matching games likes eye spot it, scrabble, mobius (math bananagrams)
hates-those games where you just roll dice and pass them between the players for five minutes
virgil-
either short games where you brutally destroy your opponents or long games where you brutally destroy your opponents, depending on his mood. also teams up with logan to make everyone play dnd.
loves-unstable unicorns, monopoly, uno
hates-any cooperative/working-together-as-a-team games
patton
big fan of games that let you be on teams or work with other players. loves games where you collect cards with characters on them but is usually bad at the actual game. really is just bad at most games, to be honest. he’s a good sport about it, though. (he likes to make jokes about how “your dad is getting too old for these games” and is immediately shut down by logan because “we’re literally all the same age, patton.”) he doesn’t mind long games but doesn’t do well with extremely complicated games. loves physical building/balance games, weirdly good at trivial pursuit.
loves-pokemon, any cooperative/working-together-as-a-team games, catan (he likes to build little houses with the blocks), bananagrams, jenga, suspend
hates-“now, hate is a strong word, but-” any games where players or characters “die”, uno (apologizes whenever he does literally anything to anyone)
janus-
obviously any game where you have to pretend/lie but also strategy-heavy games that require a lot of planning and thinking. likes slower paced games and takes forever on every single turn he has, no matter what game it is.
loves-mafia, bs, runes and regulations, solitaire (he and logan sometimes sit next to each other and play separate games of solitaire and race to finish theirs first. Janus always cheats.)
hates-wham (he hates the one hand only rule)
remus-
anything wildly inappropriate but also anything structured like apples to apples. give-me-a-prompt-and-i’ll-answer-it-in-a-weird-way games. has a longer attention span than roman but only if he’s interested in the game.
loves-cards against humanity, apples to apples, ransom notes, operation, trophies (he always manages to find words that only technically fit the prompt and you want to disqualify him but you can’t. very annoying.), the telephone game where you have to draw
hates-any game that you just play with a deck of cards (no gimmick and therefore boring)
#uni is rambling again#sanders sides#patton sanders#ts patton#ts logan#logan sanders#ts janus#janus sanders#ts remus#remus sanders#ts roman#roman sanders#ts virgil#virgil sanders#board games#card games#i realize that most people probably don’t know what a decent amount of these games are#my family has a ridiculous amount of board and card games and likes to buy new games from kickstarter and such#so many of the ones we play aren’t super common#also please send me any ideas/headcanons you have on this topic i would absolutely love to hear them#or just if you agree/disagree with what i said#i would be happy to talk about this more
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I'm not gonna put this on the other post cuz I don't really want it rebloggable but I do want to specify that like, yes I was being dramatic about Essek in terms of affect, but every part of that post is also quite literally a description of my experience with a creative field that is pretty centralized around a few locations and that has made it stringently difficult to enter and stay in the field. There are obviously monumentally different aspects around those circumstances, but like... look I left Los Angeles literally two weeks after the c2 finale with a very clear understanding that once I did, I was not going back, and that because of that, my career would never look like I'd wanted it to in any capacity, and in fact it was likely that it meant I would not work in the field I'd trained for ever again, and also knew it was the only choice that made sense if I wanted to, like, have a life. And I do! And it's great! And it still makes me very upset to think about for many reasons! So you can see why I have a lot of feelings about the whole situation.
#also to be clear i did not go into the field with some naivete about 'making it'#i started college in a time period where i distinctly recall having conversations with people like#'well it's gonna be hard for everyone to find a job so might as well go try to do what i want'#and lo and behold. it is in fact hard for everyone to find a job. most people i know do not work in the field their degree is in#and if they do they are not paid enough. frankly if they don't they're usually not paid enough either.#I'm sure most people reading this have the same experience but like. i would not even say i was naive about my job prospects at 17 lmfao#basically like. @ everyone like 'okay but this is literally exactly my experience' we are shaking hands#(and this def does apply to a lot of industries it really is fucking. rough. hell world.)#like! i do think a lot of people do not want to recognize that essek is. very relatable. to a decent amount of people.#way beyond the surface level. anyway I'll shut up now
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I love going to the local botanical gardens and being the Most Annoying Autistic alive
like I'm sorry but if a bird talks to me I am going to talk back these are Excellent Sound and I am going to Make Them
I have been honking at a goose for several minutes I'm having the time of my life
#lula's life#birds#I feel it's important to mention that I do in fact have a knack for mimicking bird sounds with decent accuracy#not all of them but a not insignificant amount#really impressed a guy once with my little wattlebird impression#he was trying to describe it to me so I could help ID it and we narrowed it down#to either little wattlebird or red wattlebird#I luckily had a lot of experience mimicking little wattlebirds because they frequent my parents garden#I'm also Very Good at goose honks
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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Forgot how much I liked this guy… and wanted to play around with the lasso fill on ibis again, don’t use it a whole lot but it’s a lotta fun to get these kinda lines! Wish procreate had a similar option lol
#my art#described#dimension 20#dimension 20 a crown of candy#a crown of candy#cumulous rocks#wish we got to know more about Cumulous. I get that’s kinda the down side of bringing in a new oc when you already have such limited time-#-but still. wanted to know more about him :(#I do feel like we got a decent amount for Saccharina despite her coming later. but I also think in general Zac’s characters then to be more-#-in the background than at the forefront of the campaigns and it’s plots#which I think is one of the reasons im so endeared to them. cus that gives me a whole lot to work with on my end; but I DO still wish we-#-got more for these guys hwvdhs#on a different note. love the lasso fill tool so much - most of my digital stuff I just do on my phone with my gd finger so I don’t really-#-have any pressure sensitivity options but I feel like I can actually get some decent line variation using lasso fill. lasso fill my beloved
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woagh. eefo.
#original post tag#attempting his head just. to see.#not enjoying crocheting with embroidery thread though. this shit. splits so bad#also i dont have the most accurate colours so we just going for it with what we got#i do have a decent amount of colours honestly#from bracelets & cross stitch
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Doodled this in aggie.io to try it out. Would anyone be interested in doing a drawing collab sorta thingy sometime?
#princess tutu#duck#fanart#my art#it works pretty decently#you do get like a limited amount of brushes unless you subscribe to them(understandable. gotta finance the upkeep of the site somehow)#but there;s enough to work with if you ask me#ya got your soft brushes ya got ya hard brushes you can fuck around with opacity and min width. you can get lotta mileage out of it#the basic principle is everyone has their own laye to work with but you can let other ppl into your layer and so on.#theres also both a chat and voice call option#tbh id like it if i could make that sorta thing a semi regular occurence? once every couple of months? depending on how well it goes.#i guess we could do it on like a drawpile sort of principle#or have everyone do like a sketch and then alternate with who does the lineart and the coloring on each skectch#or just. a chaotic everything everywhere all at once sort of approach#i dunno i think it'd be fun i reccomend checking it out! and if ya do lemme know what y'all think please!#also also you can export the work as a png and a psd or pngs of each layer.#im thinking. thinking#hmmmm thinking
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Btw in all the chat about Dot & Bubble and racism has anyone like. acknowledged that it's kinda weird that in the series featuring the first ever Doctor of colour we have seen uhhhhh:
3 specials in which the new Black doctor appears at the end of the last one for like 5 minutes after being replaced with a previous (white) Doctor for the big event episodes (a thing that has never happened before)
3 regular episodes
Episode in which the Doctor is mostly tangential to the plot except as a bomb
2 extremely Doctor-lite episodes, which are a common feature of Doctor Who but are pretty much never stacked back to back
FOR THE AVOIDANCE OF DOUBT. I like all these things:
Russell T Davies' work on Doctor Who
Ncuti Gatwa's fucking masterful acting
Doctor-lite and companion-centric episodes (which honestly are some of the best New Who episodes. Turn Left? Human Nature?)
but. it is notable that this series - which I would consider so far to be 9 episodes in which Ncuti Gatwa has had a reasonable cut of screentime in like... MAYBE 4? - is a) by far the least Doctor-focused episode ratio that I've ever seen, b) the only one where an actor's actual onscreen regeneration has been pushed back by the return of an old actor, and is c) COINCIDENTALLY the first ever season starring a Black Doctor 🤔
(because like. this could be a coincidence. there are often Doctor-light episodes to give the actor a break, for plot reasons, etc)
(buuuuut. two in a row? and they're both genuine Doctor-light episodes, ie one which is Turn Left style where the Doctor only appears to bookend the episode and is otherwise taken out of the universe, and one which is Blink or Love and Monsters style where the Doctor only appears in brief bursts, on screen, through the episode, with one monologue near the end, while we follow another character around for the bulk of the time. I can't think of many series of New Who with 2 Doctor-lite episodes, especially not in the first half of a season. In Davies' original run there were what, 4 Doctor-lite episodes in 5 years (and that's IF you count Fathers Day which I kinda don't)? and we've had half that many in one season, back to back, only 4 episodes after we DIDN'T SEE THE NEW ACTOR FOR ALMOST 3 FULL SPECIALS?)
(and I do know that Gatwa had shooting commitments with Sex Education but the thing is. back to back in the first 5 episodes???? it's not a good look! it's just not! you don't have to shoot in series order, you can literally space them across the series if you need to work with his shooting schedule! like I am sure it's not intentional but COME ON.)
#red said#i have been SO HYPE FOR NCUTI GATWA and he is doing SUCH A GOOD JOB when he's on screen#i never expected to be the person saying 'i want more doctor-centric episodes' i have always felt that the show shouldn't revolve around hi#it is BETTER and STRONGER for episodes to largely focus on the less Time Lordy characters. a thing Davies has always done well.#buuuuut also like. kinda 6 (or 9) episodes into this season#i feel like i know a decent amount about Ruby but i really don't have much sense of the Doctor except in snippets#and i kinda just. want more.#and honestly i have been waiting SO LONG for them to cast a British actor of colour as the Doctor#and the whole stopoff with David Tennant kind of left a bad taste in my mouth because of that#fairly or unfairly like yeah you WILL get a Black Doctor but first we have to stop for the nostalgia tour of when the Doctor was a white ma#and i didn't dislike those specials. but i didn't like them enough for it to not feel like putting off Ncuti Gatwa to stay in the#'remember when Doctor Who was popular' zone#and so to follow that wait up so quickly with 2 back to back Doctor-lite episodes is. ok man it's sus.
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When the interviewer asked when we should expect s5 to be coming out, that’s when Shawn mentioned that a little bit of an answer to that might be out there soon.
He actually mentions that this answer could be out by the time the video for this interview comes out, and since this interview was filmed mid-May and it’s now mid-June, I’m assuming we could be getting something soon or within the next couple months, potentially about a release date aka possibly a small teaser with 2025 stamped at the end…
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#idk I’m just praying for a vague quick 15 second teaser with 2025 at the end#idc if it’s late 2025 which is most likely#and so they’re just pulling this out of there ass to put something out there#but they have decent amount of footage already they should be able to pull from#even if that’s not what they want to do rn#they could release something vague that doesn’t even involve actors being in it and just maybe a build up of s5 vibes with 2025 at the end#I do feel like it has to be release date related even if it’s small af tho#bc we’ve gotten bts nonstop so just a mere screencap of s5 won’t be enough#it’s also worth considering that they might release s5 in very far away volumes like they did with cobra kai#not saying I want that but it’s possible#that could mean an earlier release date for those first episodes#i don’t think late 2024 is possibly honestly#but I know Maya mentioned in an interview they were like 1/3 of the way through filming s5#and this was about a month ago#so it’s possible a split could result in a serious waiting period between seasons#idk if Netflix is even willing to do that for st though#but I’m not ruling it out!#especially in the finale or even the second to last end up being longer l#we could be looking at a series finale on its own potentially taking up that vol 3 spot#but i still think late 2025 is likely for the ending regardless of how much earlier the initial part could come#also thinking about how they prefer to release the show during the season the show is set#if they can do that I feel like they will
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tu parles???? français???
un peu!! j'ai dans le classe de français à l'ecole pour deux ans, et je regarde baghera et etoiles pour pratiquer l'écoute. je ne pas super a parle français, je suis boucoup mieux à l'écoute LMAO. mais! j'essaie mon meilleur.
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#we have mail :]#im trying for the qsmp language day ^_^#i can speak a decent amount of french !! and understand a ton more hearing and reading wise than i do speaking wise#same with spanish i also understand that hearing wise but. :( cannot speak that at all#outside of numbers i do know a ton of numbers#anyway thank you for standing my very very shitty broken french <3#[Guy who's fighting for his life voice] jai fucking stupid et cannot parlé enough français#<- take that message i sent to jay while drafting this as a treat LMAO <3
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,
#tw abuse/csa mention whatever#otherwise a positive post tbh#but umn!! have now told a Second person ever (excluding our parents) who the person who did that was <3#also at work of all places lmao#ider how the convo- OH no i do. talking abt TV shows -> mentioning one sounded triggering -> talking abt triggering media -> talking abt#our trauma together lmao#anyways were gonna watch a weird show together later <3#also just. fr i havent told anyone who it was since i was. 13? 14? and i was like super drunk#and now here i am! sober at work talking to my friend abt it <3 hehe#hehehe <33#boring penis disorder#also wanna say its insane how i can like. generally think about it now yknow. bcs for so long it was like instant panic attack#segregated to only specific alters. super super stressful. and like its still deeply uncomfortable but... most of us can remember it. and we#can generally think about a decent amount before it starts getting too much. so its way easier to regulate#its just so insane genuinely how far weve come with that
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One thing I'm learning as I get older is a lot of people from high school who sucked only sucked because we were in high school and now that were adults and facing a new set of nightmares but with greater autonomy and life experience we no longer have crab bucket instincts towards each other and may even be capable of a beautiful friendship
#i stayed friends with a decent amount of people out of high school and through mutuals in law of theirs and just straight randomly running#into old high school peers ive been forcing myself to meet these people the way id want to be met (as in please respect the horrors of high#school and understand that im not that person anymore) and its been more than amicable its been awkward but also kind of exciting#were real people now and i think its cool to reconnect#dont get me wrong when i say these people suck i dont mean politically or bigotry wise in fact they never really sucked and thats the whole#point#but rather we crab bucketed each other and i was often on the bottom of the crab bucket so there was a lot of resentment and animosity#but also grudging respect for these specific people for Making It Out of the Bucket#anyways ive been dming a lot more with one of them and another one asked me if i wanted to grab a drink with him sometime :-)#i dont drink but im tempted to suggest we do something else#idk its nice to give people from your past grace and have it extended back to you#again obviously not for the fascists and the bullies like theyre also capable of change and growth which i recognize but i dont want to b#around them#anyways this is absurdly long winded#but its my diary entry of the week
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