#but we all know thats what ppl often MEAN

[kidrat]

obviously people can have headcanons. zero hate toward the relevant crowd. but u have to admit its pretty funny when people call sam winchester queer coded. like why because he's nice? my man doesnt have a single male friend, how'd you expect him to be homosexual if he's not even homosocial

[trollocs-ooc]

The righteousness leaving Rikis body the minute he starts getting dicked down by a morally bad to morally gray entity

[itsalwaysdark]

the difficulty of trying 2 explain to ppl that im Not being self deprecating or belittling my mental illnesses when i say something that could be perceived as overly critical towards myself but that thise things actually r true abt me. ppl did die.

[kopifuran]

AND LET THIS FANDOM DIE? fuck off

I wish some of you would like the characters for who they actually are rather than your OC personalities that you project onto them

~🗳

[chuuya-kisser]

THEORY TIME THEORY TIME

ok. so. first of all FYODOR FCKIN DOSTOEVSKY I LIKE U AND ALL BUT???? REMAIN DEAD??? U JESUS FR??

ANYWAYS ignoring that

so bc i adore skk to hell and back obviously im gonna explore their dynamic first

what kills me is how familiar they are with each other. they arent insulting each other in every sentence, which is still alright. and what struck me the most is how much dazai seems to trust chuuya. more so than anyone.

so far we know that dazai isn't exactly the most open person around. his entire cheerful joking persona is a facade, a fake. what you see is usually only what he wants to show you. his real emotions? ive only seen them very rarely, if at all. now look at these

the way chuuya says what he does implies that he is already used to this habit of dazai's, which is only possible if dazai did this in his mafia days, AND even then, he was open and willing enough to let chuuya see it and know that dazai was anxious. which means that even before mersault, before dazai left the mafia, he and chuuya atleast were that close that the usually closed-off, know-everything demon prodigy could show his worry to his partner, multiple times.

i think that over here, dazai really isnt hiding his emotions. you can see the shock and worry on his face and in his eyes clearly as he puts the pieces together. not only that, hes also laying out parts of his plan to chuuya, in addition to his theories. which he rarely does unless im wrong about that (its possible). he isnt worried about chuuya using his emotions and weaknesses against him, because he trusts him enough, although i think the trust between them was already shown when both of them fake-killed each other.

its easy to see the panic in his eyes, and personally i feel that this is him showing a bit of weakness, which is perfectly alright. the thing is that again, hes letting chuuya see this. I very much doubt that he would have let down his facade enough to show this to absolutely anyone else.

also the poor guy literally looks so stressed out here give him a goddamn break asagiri

aaaaand now chuuya.

now what strikes me is that even in the last chapter/s, chuuya has multiple times tried to reassure dazai that fyodor is indeed dead to try and calm down dazai's worries. this can also be him also wanting a damn break but anyways.

and these panels. while many ppl are agreeing that hes just sitting there being a pretty boy while dazai tows through helicopter debris (and i agree), and definitely chuuyas sadistic streak when it comes to dazai is showing itself clearly, its often been seen in both the official arts and animanga that whenever working together, chuuya always covers dazai's blind spots.

think about it. dazai has his back turned towards everything. if someone launched a surprise attack on him at this moment, the chances of him dodging, finding out abt it in time is pretty low. chuuya is directly behind dazai. i got this idea from another post i saw, but what if this is also chuuya covering for dazai yet again? protecting him?

anyways thats it folks maybe ill make another post on jesus- i meant fyodor soon

[livinahey]

aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .・゜゜・

---

i'm back :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜✭・»»————>

if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life 💅✨🧚‍♀️ just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you

speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you 😹😹 what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result ‼️😒👹💥💥

asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house

1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(

2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it

3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor

4h - hatred towards family

5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit

6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)

7h - hatred towards partner (✋💀💀), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone

8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive

9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible

10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person 😹😹 (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)

11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media

12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"

cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)

what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to

taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)

mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!

some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you

undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship 💁‍♀️

talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)

developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are 🤩 (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)

what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama 😭😭

water suns are prone to being delusional 😹😹

air venus stop giving mixed signals

i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... 😹😹

moon-neptune aspects 🤝 say something then regret it

libra big 6 placements 🤝 attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()

undeveloped fixed moon 🤝 being petty

pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao

aqua mars 🤝 makes ppl amazed

air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! 😉

saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(

there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there 🧍‍♀️🪓

[velvetvexations]

hello velvet this is going to be a lot abt hate crimes in abstraction (by which i mean, not about an Actual Hate Crime That Happened) but i wanted to warn u in case that was too much for comfort <3

my partner is stealth transmasc, and when you say this i think a lot of people interpret it as "Passes All The Time, Every Time". of course that's not what "stealth" means (it means low/no disclosure... it's flexible bc it's slang, but "stealth" tends to imply intention, it's something you do on purpose for safety reasons). the misconception is irritating most of the time, but i also think its actively dangerous and contributes directly to the erasure of transmasculine oppression. like, i keep seeing people refuting the statement "being stealth is a hostage situation" with "well im stealth and im not scared of being outed" as if it has anything to do with personal sense of fear. youd think that would be obvious.

we live in a blue dot in deeply red state. the difference between our city and where my partner grew up, in the surrounding area, is stark. contrary to popular belief, this doesnt make us safe. he gets threatened with violence walking home alone, he gets called slurs by people that think theyve clocked him as any number of things. you walk fast and dont look behind you when stuff like that happens. none of my friends have been able to answer me when i ask "did they follow you home? do they know where you live?" transfem friends too! it's almost like we're more alike in experiencing transphobia than we are different. who'd've thought.

im thinking abt this bc we travel via greyhound and the last station we left was very very poorly maintained - arent they all? - and in the mens restroom, every door to every stall had a broken lock. my partner joked abt taking a "risky pee" lol, and if it wasnt for where we were, who we are, and the time we are living in, maybe the little icepick of fear wouldnt have gotten stuck in me and i wouldve laughed.

the thing that irritates me abt this discourse is that this type of white knight, tme-in-bio transmasc (or associate) does not at all seem to recognize the danger inherent to being stealth, to looking sort of like a man if the ppl around you are not violent transphobes looking for a fight. they are so consumed by this idea of trans-male privilege that they dont even recognize the danger they are in. often times i think its bc of their own individual privilege. maybe they live in a more trans-friendly region than i do. maybe theyve never met a transphobe, never been called slurs from a speeding car that almost hit you, maybe theyve never been loudly transvestigated in public. i really, sincerely hope they never do. but they take that and apply it to other transmascs far less fortunate and dont even recognize the erasure they are contributing to. bc everyone knows only transfems get hate crimed! who else ever would?

they think that no one has ever clocked them (how? are you a mindreader?), they think that if they look enough like a cis man, "other" cis men wont hurt them, cis women wont be Able to hurt them. they think thats true of every transmasc thats been a year+ on t. it's juvenile. it's icarian. it's misogyny dressed up as solidarity and chivalry. and it's not even fucking true. the vast majority of Any trans person who is trans in Any number of ways is going to face fear and anxiety and the potential for danger in a bathroom.

thank you for sharing anon <3

[thatlittleviolin]

//A little ramblig about eddie dear bc i cant stop thinking about him

Im not joking when i say this whole post was inspired after seen @//purple-raspberries “the mailman” drawing because O MY STARS WHAT IS THAT DRAWINgGGGGGG /pos

Okay so anyway, whats up with Eddie Dear? As, like, an active character of Welcome Home?

Something rubs me in the wrong way when it comes to him as a whole, not that I dislike him, pretty… much the opposite (thats why I'm making this post) actually, but I feel he is more relevant to the lore than what ppl give him credit for.

Even way before the past-year (2023) Halloween and Homewarming updates, I felt that he must simply be more than what is presented to us about him:

- He is the only character who sees all the rest of the neighbours every day due to his work

- He is one of the few if not the only one who is confirmed to be from outside of Home

- He brings one of the TWO functional clocks in all of Home (which could well be due to the nature of his work, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it's curious)

And I know, ik, this is not a lot. In fact, I believe this is not crucial info, but I want to mention it because it gives, in some way, a certain statement: Eddie Dear is not like everyone else. It differentiates him from the others.

There's simply something intriguing about him; and I constantly think about how, again, he's the resident who interacts most with his neighbors, the most helpful and willing to do anything, and despite that, he's the one who gets the most hits?

Hes always in a rush because he likes helping others, he's clumsy and yet he does his job in a stellar way and yet he goes the more underappreciated by his neighbors and its the first one to get to have his own personal breakdown during the Homewarming

Keep in mind, I don't mean that the other characters are bad or smth, we all know that inside they care for each other and are a pretty nice neighborhood-

But yea, starting with the most obvious, Howdy and Sally are downright condescending, bordering on rude to him. Howdy ignores him or pays half attention when he goes to deliver merchandise to the Bugdega and tries to start a conversation, and despite this, we can see that Howdy asks him for help to deliver things to someone else.

More specifically, during a hidden audio, we can hear that he uses Eddie to deliver an order of bowling balls to Julie DESPITE Howdy having a home delivery system and probably being able to better handle the weight of the merchandise, being at least two heads taller than Eddie, right when Eddie had just told him he had a very tiring day (of course he didn't hear that)

Sally, on her side, is condescending to him to the degree that when we hear them interacting, at least until now, it's mostly her giving him orders. Heck, Sally has a "long name" for every resident EXCEPT Eddie, whom she usually just calls "Mailman" for everything.

Julie and Frank tend to be more passive about it, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they also end up... taking advantage a bit? Or leaving him a bit aside. I know, I know, we all ship FranklyDear here, but it still bothers me how during "Eddie's big lift" (+ another hidden audio) we're shown how Julie tends to involve him in her games without much consideration as to whether Eddie even understands them to begin with, and Frank, despite acknowledging that he works hard and often overworks for everyone, leaves him lying on the ground. They don't even wait for him to get up to say goodbye properly, they just leave him there and go home. It's a bit sad to hear how Eddie talks to himself while getting up and dusting himself off.

And finally, one that I understand is a joke but serves as a transition to my next point: Barnaby and his constant gag of chasing Eddie around the neighborhood as soon as he sees him making his deliveries, or insisting that Eddie lifts him up because “he's just a puppy”. I won't delve into this (not now) because I know that overall that's Barnaby's way of joking; Eddie is not his only victim, but when you mix it with everything said above, it gives off some weird vibes.

It's as if Eddie was the typical "punching bag" character of the show's creators; you know, the one created so that the fun we get from him is at his expense, and sadly, somehow that fact makes sense to me as to why he's the first to have a "breakdown" during Homewarming and said breakdown has to do with, what else? his isolation and probable sadness.

During Sally's history and Poppy's confinement in her own house, there were two predominant themes: what happens when we're in the dark, what lurks in the shadows and whatnot, and isolation: Sally talks about this but Poppy experiences it first hand; shes alone and in the dark, house bricked to the top. However, Eddie gets overwhelmed despite being surrounded by everyone and, clearly, in a lit environment.

My opinion? Said loneliness and darkness don't necessarily need to be tangible, and in Eddie's case, they come from a mental place. My dear doesn't seem to have too much appreciation for himself, constantly letting people get the help they want (need, of course) from him at the cost of his own well-being. Eddie Dear is not happy, in fact, I feel he puts himself down a bit, which equates to darkness, and when he can distract himself from this fact again, Home reminds him; and his loneliness comes in a literal-but-not way. Eddie is never alone, that's evident, but again, in the Homewarming video we're not only emphasized that he's upset and confused because no one has asked him for help, but because he DOESN'T KNOW how to handle his own activities outside of work. Anything that doesn't have to do with the post office but is more personal overwhelms him because he's not used to thinking outside of how he should help others because that's his "only" way of interacting with them. Eddie needs to be needed in order to be closer to others, and when that's not the case, it frustrates him so much that it even seems like anger.

Heck, it's even sad how Sally mentions that nobody bothered him with the usual tasks they would require him for to give him a day off, and then downright nobody interacted with him. Not even Julie called him to play. When Sally finds him under Home's tree, she asks him to escort her to Home for the Homewarming and it's narrated that they're the last to arrive, but if Eddie hadn't left his house then... what? Would he have stayed there? (Lowkey I theorize that he wouldn't have, because of the fact that Sally and Frank seem to have more awareness than the others, I feel like she was actually waiting for him)

Personally, I consider that when it comes to a case like Eddie's, it's even worse, because you don't need to be actively in a closed and dark place, isolated (in what voluntary situation would someone have to be like that?) for your head to go completely to shit. Think about it, you make Home angry and he doesn't need the rest of the neighbors to build a wall around you. It does what you already do well: it locks you up with your thoughts and leaves you there.

So,,, uh, yeah, I don't know how to end this.

I just wanted to talk about my fav man.

somebody help him PLAEASSE

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hello op, ive been thinking abt that ask someone sent thatw as like. very 2014 era tumblr saying u were someone they'd find in an alley offering them blankets and warm hugs ever since u got it, bc JESUS CHRIST. most psychological horror thing I've ever seen. like fandom-brained parasocial relationship to a. Tumblr blogger. and then the person who made an attempt at an opposite assumption to that.

its so crazy to me and so like. capital i Ick gross. i wanted to provide a less. personal. assumption. or more intepretation of ur character. (bear w me)

i feel like ur kind of like a sex worker, in that ur work (on here) is often very personal to ppl and can be hugely meaningful to them, but often for you is just another days work. so sometimes ppl are weird with you abt it or expect you to act like its Not work, and sometimes ppl give compliments abt it that are meaningful to u, but still you have ur own life thats completely seperate to anything we know of u.

idk a comparison that came to my mind after watching verily bitchies video essay on good luck to you leo grande

i hope u having an alright one, and dont have anymore people fanonising you :)

or, hear me out, what if we all stopped coming up with metaphors and similes and comparisons to interpret my character and ascribe meaning to me and just treat me like a person instead of English homework

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

[foreverautumn89]

Every clue that Lonnie was abusive Pt 3

There is a couple of points of abuse in here kind of all wrapped together: Jonathan says Will is really good at hiding. So good at hiding that even the police couldn't find him so Jonathan thinks. Police who are trained to find hidden things.

Jonathan thinks they won't be able to find him. Although theres more to this one hold up so…either way you frame this I dont know whcih one is the truth or if both are true but either way it confirms Lonnie is abusive: Why is Will so good at hiding? Another clue. Well Will got so good at hiding because Will and Jonathan would have to hide from Lonnie and when Jonathan was fighting Lonnie off and protecting Will, Will would go and hide and would have to hide often. So much that he got so good at it.

And/or Jonathan was again making up an excuse that the cops wouldn't be able to find Will's body and Lonnie was good at covering up his bad behavior and what type of person he is [we know this to be true given the funeral scene] and Jonathan would know where to look first where Lonnie possibly hid the evidence so Lonnie couldn't get away with it. He also would know if Lonnie was lying to the cops which is why Jonathan wanted to be there to hear what Lonnie had to say and Jonathan didn't trust the cops he was so used to Lonnie talking his way out of things with everyone and always just getting away with everything. Either way it confirms the abuse and the fact that a certain someone was ignoring the abuse and making up excuses for Lonnie.

------------------------------

Hopper refuses to let Jonathan go and tells him so. ''Yeah well cops are good at finding. Stay here with your mom she needs you." Again, I'm not sure if Hopper is competely aware of the abuse or hes strongly suspecting it. Its never clear.

In this part Hopper was either testing his theory to see Jonathan's reaction to figure out if Jonathan was being abused OR he did this because thats just Hopper being stern with him. But either way, Jonathan's reaction is what gives it away that he was abused. Hopper grabs Jonathan by the shoulders and Jonathan looks frozen and scared because usually when hes grabbed by an older man what came after was what Lonnie did to him. Then Hopper gives him a punch on the arm to see his reaction. If Hopper was trying to figure out if his theory was correct-Jonathan's reaction to all of that just proved it [and notice he continues to hunt down Lonnie] If Hopper knew Jonathan was being abused already and didn't need to test it, than that was just Hopper being stern with him and the little 'man to man' punch on the arm was intended to be a manly sorry about grabbing you way.

Really what I think was happening was Hopper grabbing him so aggressively was not what was intended, that just shows how scared Hopper was of Jonathan going there to see Lonnie. He was so scared he grabbed Jonathan because he was that terrified of another kid getting lost. and the pucn on the arm was to a manly thing to say sorry about grabbing you in alarm, buddy. Didn't mean to.' But even this way shows how scared Hopper is by the thought of Jonathan being around Lonnie. So either way you interpret that situation, it all points to abuse.

Jonathan disobeys Hopper and goes to Lonnie's house anyway to look for Will BY HIMSELF since Hopper wouldn't let him go, Jonathan is going to save Will from that monster one way or another. And it shows that Jonathan doesn't trust the police/any authority figure to do their job because hes so used to that happening. Again going back to everything I said in the previous posts about why that is.

--------------------------

On the drive to Lonnies, Jonathan remembers him and Will listening to should I say or should I go and the relevant bit to this discussion is Will saying 'Idk its fun to go with him [Lonnie] sometimes'. The ppl claiming that Jonathan and Will were never abused always try to bring this up to debunk the Jonathan and Will were abused 'theory'. But it actually does the OPPOSITE.

Usually abuse victims have something called 'stolkholm syndrome' where someone loves their abuser and wants their approval. And this happens often with abusive parents and thier children. Because you're taught that you should love your mom and dad no matter what. Even if they're mean to you sometimes they just want whats best for you. Society not realizing the problem with telling children this-or at least telling abused children this. The rest of the world teaches them that its wrong not forgive your parents mistakes. Its wrong to not love your parents. So Will and Jonathan don't want to be bad people and even naturally they loved their dad because he is their dad. He was the one that didn't care about them, it wasn't the other way around.

They went through what every child went through: Wanting to spend time with your father and be close to him and make him proud and to get his approval. It must have taken a lot for Jonathan to overcome that and ofc the fans don't appreciate this fact. That Jonathan had to learn and teach himself the right things and raise himself and then Will: That if you have to change everything you are for someone to love you then they don't really love you [like what they went through with Lonnie]. If they really loved you they wouldnt want to change you, they'd love you for who you are. This also applies to Jonathan's issue with the Hawkins townspeople because they also believe that you should change everything you are to be accepted/popular/fit in. And ofc the fans also think Jonathan is disgusting for this and paint it as him 'thinking hes better than everyone''.

When really its just that Jonathan believes that you should be loved for who you truly are, not be somebody elses idea of perfect to be loved. Jonathan believes and had to learn the hard way that you should love and accept yourself for who you truly are and real love is when someone loves you for who you truly are. Like how he and Will love and accept each other and in this scene Jonathan even tells encourages Will to stop pleasing Lonnie ext and Jonathan shows that he loves Will for who he truly is.

That will doesn't have to pretend to be someone hes not with Lonnie to receive a fake version of love for him, when Will has someone who loves him as is always by his side [Jonathan]. And Jonathan even proves it to the audience that he means this when he asks Will again So you like this [the song] for real? Will nodded and smiled 'For real' and they danced to the song together. It was showing us that Jonathan was making sure that Will wasn't just saying he liked the song because Jonathan liked it and Will thought that was what J wanted to hear. He was making sure Will liked it because he really liked it, not to get someone elses approval.

[iatrophilosophos]

The other thing I'm thinking about this morning is the limitation of any one analytical lens and poor application of gender theory to interpersonal relationships.

Gonna frontload this post with the caveats that 1) this is about cafab relationships to transmisogyny, which i welcome discussion from anybody on but also recognize some ppl are just not invested in or interested in hearing, and thats fine 2) i am speaking from a place of good faith (classical def.) and assuming that we can take what people say about their intentions at face value and these topics are occurring within relationships with grace and legitimate desire to do right by eachother, even though this approach does not always work and is not an exhaustive or universal lens.

My friend said sumn last year that was really foundational for me--"there's always another explanation [for interpersonal instances of transmisogyny]". Meaning, transmisogyny is the sum of small and big events across a person's life, and for TMA people it doesn't really matter if a partner has hateful or "transmisogynistic" intentions behind an action that contributes to the structure. There's always a self-centered reason that has nothing to do with The Structure. My other friend has a line that I think also fits here, which is the idea that most people most of the time don't really have "rational" or cognizant motivations prior to action, just post hoc narrativization of why they did what they did. I don't know how much I agree, but I think it's an interesting lens to use to think about our past actions that can get useful results--how much of the story that I'm telling about this event got written after it, and how does that affect everything moving forward?

This stage setting brings us to a specific cohort that I've definitely been a part of and am working on distancing from: strong willed/bullheaded cafabs with significant personal needs and abrasive interpersonal tendencies. Being someone that only very aquiescing, self-sacrificing people can stand to be around means you're gonna benefit a lot interpersonally from transmisogyny, because trans women and especially young, vulnerable, and/or early transition women are gonna be a large % of the people you attract.

People in this cohort usually know it on some level IME and feel a lot of shame and anxiety around it. Transfem friends and partners will bring it up. We get one of the good ones type behaviors, compensatory hating and policing of other people, and white knighting; and we get various manifestations of definitional games that all fit into the "ontologically incapable of violence" header. Your classic uwuification of cafabs, but also misguidedly trying to find common ground and misconflating relationships to womanhood (talking abt how ppl treated you ten years ago doesn't paper over the thing You are doing Now), and getting into some really bizarre IME feminist ally dudebro shit that seems copypasted from 2012 cishet feminist ally lines (these are also??? Bad????)

All of this shit behavior can((see above caveat #2)) stem from being too lost in the sauce of structural analysis. I think the line that there's always another explanation has a corrolary: you can basically always, to varying levels of accuracy and usefulness, paint an interpersonal problem in the context of structural analysis. And this can be very useful, and it is mainly useful to people who are subject to that structural oppression to understand what is happening and why it feels bad. I see for my friends theory around transmisogyny often (but obviously not exclusively) function as a frame of understanding that says "it isn't your fault. No amount of personality modification will keep this from happening again. Time to take a different tract." This is very useful and good.*

However: this specific understanding of the function of transfeminist theory does not play the same for this cohort of cafab people, because behavioral modification IS the way to get better about shit and stop it from happening. In a lot of these circumstances WE have to understand explanations of transmisogyny as an explanation for why behaviors, attitudes and modes of interaction feel bad to our friends. Yet a third dear friend has a line in a piece of writing that I don't remember if is published or not that says, paraphrasing: "transmisogyny is not 'real', it is a concept we use to understand patterns and attitudes". The essence of a transmisogynist action or behavior or pattern that we exert towards our loved ones is only that it triggers a pattern and understanding of the world; not that it has a big red "GENDER CRIME" stamp on it somewhere.

If we want to throw off the benefits and privileges of being TME in the interpersonal sphere, we have to get fucking nicer to people. We have to yell less and listen more. We have to interrogate the ghosts of our loved ones that set up shop in our heads and challenge how they diverge from the evidence of the real people in front of us. We have to employ whatever dumbass therapyspeak tools let us be more thoughtful and intentional with how we treat eachother. We have to confront the anxiety that we are Problematic and not imbue metaphysical significance to the fact that we Hurt Someone, because that opens the door to us trying to fix it with yet more metaphysical action and not just going "oh, I need to work on the way I percieve your words because the way you express dissent doesn't immediately register to me and I've been steamrolling you for weeks. Shit, I'm sorry, can I ask some questions that will help me notice next time this comes up and react better?"

Finally I'm gonna end with this: transmisogyny as an understanding of lifetime patterns of experience is not One Thing that applies evenly to every TMA person. One of the biggest pieces of me landing on all this above is being frustrated about how everyone I know has a slightly different bar and I couldn't just "stop being transmisogynist", cuz different shit hurts different people. This is kinda my connecting thread to my earlier post about offensive jokes: once we hit the sphere of microaggressions and non-overt patterns and loved ones that want us to actually work on shit instead of divesting, there just isn't actually a prescriptive answer and we have to be familiar with the theory shorthands ppl around us are using, AND aware of how our personal tendencies and patterns of behavior fit into that theory, AND exercising curiosity and care to figure out what the tangible steps for people we love are.

*note that with all theory I do think that even this framing can get stretched to a point it is no longer accurate or useful to goals I think r worthwhile, but that's not my lane to talk about exhaustively.

[tobiotaesan]

ハイキュー!! x 보넥도 2

synopsis: which haikyuu characters i think bnd resembles the most

genre: bnd! haikyuu au!

cw: none

note: i am terrible at these so theyre probably not accurate

SUNGHO x SUGAWARA

they both possess that motherly vibe

soft but firm at the same time

myungnyangz actually give off daisuga energy (sungho ofc is suga)

remember when sungho said in a video message for mj that he knows mj doesnt want to be a harsh/strict leader to the other members (probs bcus he doesnt want to end up hurting their feelings unintentionally) so instead he (sungho) will do it for him

now if that aint love

if that doesnt scream daisuga

thats literally vice capt sugawara in kpop idol form

also, they tend to be similar in the sense wherein they both appear to be calm ppl until someone tests their patience lol

plus the random bursts of energy

like when suga is just being the chill seniors with daichi and asahi and then the next second he is the cheer captain with the hyper juniors

thats sungho with 03 line and then suddenly being with gongfourz + woonagi

hes also good at dealing with the destiny boyz extroverted outbursts, very sugawara of him

to summarize: MOTHERSSSS

RIWOO X HOSHIUMI

i honestly dont know how (best album) i didnt think of the hoshiumi x riwoo

i saw someone say this on twt and id like to take this opportunity to say thank u to that person for enlightening me of this agenda

so the reason why i think this makes so much sense is

1) blonde riwoo was literally hoshiumi (refer pics above)

2) riwoo is to bnd what hoshiumi is to kamomedai if u know what i mean ( if u dont then thats a you problem)

3) they both embody this sense of confidence with their awareness of their skills that they know how to showcase

like he knows hes that good and he shows it but is still able to be humble about it

riwoo "performance director" = hoshiumi "the little giant" (i know he doesnt own the nn its for comparison)

and apparently they even share the same mbti, isfp (a bit unsure, sources dont match)

theyre like the golden player/member of the team

theyre just that good and they know it too (king behaviour)

ofc with that level of confidence there is also competitiveness

hoshiumi plays with a grin on his face especially when the opponent's skills are on par with them

i think it mirrors to the bright smile we see on riwoo's face when he does those tiktok challenges with the more complicated dances or just when he uploads one with the choreography he made himself in the car within like 10mins

i mean i would hype myself up too if i was insanely talented like them

MYUNG JAEHYUN X NISHINOYA

noya never d worded but welcome back nishinoya !

i think lots of onedoors who have been through the haikyuu phase would agree with this one

him, woonhak and taesan are the ones who have a definite and stable parallel character in haikyuu

noya plays a very important role in the team as the libero and they are often described as the backbone of the team's defense

like its meaning in italian ("free") they are free to move in and out of the court during gameplay, they go in when support is needed especially with receiving and covering the weaker areas of the players

the role reminds me so much of mj's leadership style in bnd

he seems to always be there for his members when they need him and is always ready to support/encoruage them at all times

like the way liberos tend to be well-aware and perceptive of the court to be able to support the teams defense, is the same as mj being a well-rounded, talented leader who is always looking out for his members

i say "myung jaehyun" you say "best leader"

TAESAN X KAGEYAMA

need i to explain this

wbk

visual parallel? check.

tsundere qualities? check.

extremely talented? check.

the end.

nah but fr they mirror each other so well it makes sense how i ended up liking tobio whilst being a taesan biased

they are so black cats idc if tobio is in karasuno whos mascot is a crow

both born with talent (i could never)

kags setting skills = taesanpop

tbh if taesan plays volleyball i think he could play to be a setter too

he produces songs for bnd whilst being able to integrate his own colors in it so i think he would know what its like to craft smth specifically for someone with the use of ones ability

the same way kags honed his passing skills so that shoyo can control the direction of his spikes better

was actually going to keep his short bcus i feel like i dont really need to explain this further like it just makes sense that taesan is kageyama

LEEHAN X SUNA

HOLD- ✋️✋️

SSHHHHHH 🤐🤐👌

listen to me *holds face, squishing cheeks* he 👏 is 👏 not 👏 kenma 👏

i said what i said

kenma is wayyyyy too introverted, he actually lowkey hates humans and leehan is actually an extrovert yall

im gonna give u time to digest the information and think about leehan x suna

..............

hmm....yes.

i know, right?

when he went "you like it?" at kcon la after showing his moving adams apple, thats the rintaro suna from within him speaking

the smugness? impressive how they express it without making it annoying but attractive instead.

or maybe im just down bad for pretty boys with long hair

they're also both kind off give off this "suavé" fine looking lad that make heads turn but deep inside is infected by loser-trapped-in-a-hot-body virus type of dude

jelly obssesion suna 🤝 leehan

pls support this agenda

thanks

WOONHAK X HINATA

woonhak's thirst for becoming one the most talented idols out there is the same as shoyo's dream to becoming the next "little giant"

i love how woonhak has mj and taesan like shoyo has noya and tobio

noya being like one of shoyo's favorite senior that he admires so much

and also the one who actively and openly encourages and motivates shoyo when he needs it, like the way mj is to woonhak to the point of treating him like he gave birth to him

tobio being the not-obvious, nonchalant and lowkey support system to shoyo

hes aware of his potential and capabilities and so he works hard to make shoyo achieve the results he wants

the same way taesan shows his "형/hyung" side with the way he shows his support to woonhak (by teasing the heck out of him)

they both also have this child-like enthusiasm for a lot of things especially on their interests

they both show ecstatic responses to volleyball/performing

and the way they try to be smug about things they did good in accidentally

OH and plus the "im good at doing this" and then fails miserably

but its fine bcus they looked cute

`•°☆°•` `•°☆°•` `•°☆°•` `•°☆°•` `•°☆°•` `•°☆°•`

—끝—

©️ tobiotaesan

do not repost or translate without permission !

[hanasnx]

Can we pretty please hear more about ani being beat up before sex 🙏🙏🙏🙏

MINORS DNI 18+ NOTES: you call me papi indy i’ll do anything you want me to. i love talking about anakin getting beat up before sex— this is all i could think up off the dome, but! ppl should ask me/talk to me about anakin’s deranged impact play kink more often like this. get really violent with it | based on this post and this post | @xstarkillerx WARNINGS: severe impact play (both receiving), and some smutty material, brat!reader mentioned

! ── the thing is, i have no idea how a normal person would react when asked, “hey, i get my rocks off when i’m fought in the right circumstances. help me out?” so we’ll just have to pretend that you, our dear reader, are not normal

! ── you’ve accepted your lover, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, is into some strange things, things you wouldn’t expect he’d get a boner about. one of them being, injury during sparring

he wants to hurt. and he also likes the consensual impact play and risk of hurting each other during sparring. he wouldn’t use the force in any way, solely him and his flesh (his metal arm is not used as an advantage either, not that he’s going easy on you, he’s just not trying to kill you). the rush of seeing you fight against him, even if he may think it’s futile. in turn, he cannot get enough of the adrenaline that he sustains when you land a strike.

being close to you, your back to his chest, and you gain enough room to elbow him in his nose. blood speeds to his cock. snatching a fist full of your hair to draw you back to him like a leash.

when you tire him out, he pins you with his body weight. your wrists in his hands, heaving over you, drooling on you. you wiggle underneath him, try anything to shift things in your favor, and he can’t help but rip your clothes off and have you right now on this mat.

! ── things like slapping him for commenting out-of-pocket-offensive shit unprompted, have given you insight as to how he accepts it. a fire ignites in his eyes. it grows until he cannot tell the difference between anger and lust.

when you act like a brat and need someone like him to put you in your place, it makes it all the more satisfactory when you fight him on it. banging your fists against his chest, and then his lower back when he throws you over his shoulder

when you try to kick him, he catches your ankle, and now you’re balancing on one leg essentially at his mercy. but he would’ve let it land if he felt like it. prove to you the kind of pain he can take, show you how much stronger he is.

! ── once you’ve gotten comfortable with everything (hardened by the war, you’ve learned how to take a punch. your pain tolerance is nothing short of advanced) anakin manages to land a hit onto your cheek, and he sucks on the bruise while he blows your back out

! ── there are times where he’s not in the mood to cause you pain, and so “sparring” becomes a “blocking exercise.” all the moves at his disposal, are dodging/blocking your attacks. of course, it’s impossible to block all of them, you’re a formidable opponent. which means he’s thinking of how he can turn this around in order fuck you on all-fours, while you’re kneeing his gut and flipping him onto the mat

! ── this specific kink of his, is his way of “safely” creating an outlet for that energy that’s generated in places like battle. instead of using that energy to maim and kill mercilessly, he directs it onto an activity thats mutually fun for the both you.

! ── being beaten, but knowing he’s large enough to stop it any time he wants to adds to the appeal.

! ── it becomes yours and his way of blowing off steam. taking out everything on each other. that’s essentially what he wants. whatever is burning up inside, to be unleashed on someone that’ll love you for it.

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[nerves-nebula]

Has the overall story of Loose Stitches changed significantly since you started drawing it?

BOY HAS IT. ITS LITERALLY CHANGING AS WE SPEAK. anyway this got long so. under da cut

so, like most stories, it's changed a lot since the beginning. i was technically drawing it years before i started on the comic you see before you nowwww HOWEVER i get what u mean so i wont post any old art of atchkie or anything to make a point

TO GET TO YOUR QUESTION: since i started drawing and posting it, things have changed SIGNIFICANTLYYYYY. for example, hanheppi culture (which wont be relevant for years) was basically nonexistent when i started. the only reason you guys know hanheppi people and loose stitches are related is because i literally didnt have a name picked out for the hanheppi, so i had to file them under "loose stitches related" thinking i probably wouldnt post much about them anyway. and ppl started noticing that because i got around to developing them ON THIS BLOG WHILE POSTING LOOSE STITCHES. lol

as for the characters, they've changed too in a lot of ways. dotty's whole deal was generally outline before but i filled it in over the last few years and now it's like. genuinely could be its own novel lol.

ATCHKIE'S personality has been kind of hard for me to get a handle on because they are a kind of person who i don't have much in common with. but i think i'm getting a better idea of them as time goes on.

Reg Willow and Eden are still being workshopped cuz they're gonna appear later on and i haven't written them very much, so they're actively changing as we speak.

and then of course the entirety of part 2 has undergone major changes and is still actively shifting in huge ways. i see part 1 as basically set up and foreshadowing and getting to know the MC's and part 3 (if it can be called that, im prolly gonna break up part 3 into different chunks tho) as the pay off/explanation portion.

but part 2 is kind of more like a road trip adventure that the characters take on the way to trying to find things out about themselves and their goals. they run into a bunch of weirdos and its basically just the part where i get to have a ton of weird shit happen and then they run away. half of it is not even plot relevant and i'm SO EXCITED FOR IT!!!

and because it's way more flexible and is basically just a "author gets a free for all to do whatever it wants" card, it changes rapidly and often. I've brought in characters from past stories to fill in spaces, and i've combined certain plot points and storybeats. i've cut shit i didn't think was fun and then added entire towns just for 1 scene i wanna do. so thats probably the part thats changing the most.

other minor things that have changed is the near spontaenous creation of characters like professor silk, leilah, and mia. what happened with them was that i had points in the script where characters would talk and then i realized that if they were gonna have all these interactions with characters, they should probably be reoccurring ones instead of a bunch of one offs. Now professor silk is a minor but recurring characters, and Leilah was upgraded to full on girlfriend almost on a whim. Mia was the most spontaneous one tho.

in the scene where Mia throws dotty off the balcony, that was SUPPOSED to be Leilah and just some random friend atchkie was hanging out with. but since Mia had appeared before i was like fuck it, why introduce a whole new friend when i can reuse what was a one off character? and then while blocking out the fight it was just easier for me to imagine someone accidentally throwing dotty via strings than Leilah pushing them off in the struggle like i'd planned.

i could keep going on with stuff like this but the tl;dr is: yeagh. shit is changing constantly and all the little changes end up with the finished product being vastly different from the start.

and thats why i love serialized stories. there's an inherent jank to it that i cant get enough of on both the process side and the reader side.