#but uh. we ball!!! hahaha

[aseplant]

From Natural Satellite by @sixpossumsinatrenchcoat! It's probably my favorite ISAT fic. Sif x toilet paper gone wrong compels me...

[joeyfranchise]

𝟙𝟚 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕗𝕚𝕔-𝕞𝕒𝕤: 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖

can’t catch me, i’m the…

fiance!joe x reader

a fun lil bulleted list blurb about playing a lil football with your fiance joe. sfw, but minors please do not interact with my account.

joe brings you to athens for christmas and of COURSE insists at some point he needs to have a football in his hands

and you’re like . ?!?!? bro chill it’s HOLIDAY TIME

like you wanna bake cookies with his mom and spend time with family and watch christmas movies and wear matching pajamas and

joe’s like okay we cannn but do you wanna come “play” with me for like half an hour

he’s standing in his parents kitchen tossing the ball back and forth between hands and. he looks so

HOT

gray sweats, college hoodie.. are you drooling?

fuck you’re drooling. you’re-

it doesn’t help that he hasn’t shaved his face cuz FUCK does he look good

“baby?” he asks, that playful lilt to his tone and smirk on his face tells you he KNOWS he’s won this one

fucker

but you’re like. okay let me ATTEMPT to be nonchalant. right?? cuz you really lost sO EASILY

“okay, fine. half an hour.” you tell him matter-of-factly

he’s still smirking. smug ass

you also JUST MADE COFFEE THAT YOU WANT TO DRINK. and here’s his beautiful ass wanting something knowing DAMN WELL

that you’ll do anything for him (HAHAHA WHIPPPPED)

and like you’re just in leggings and a hoodie and a beanie. and it’s COLD but

you guys go out to the backyard and then you realize like. THIS NFL QUARTERBACK IS ABOUT TO THROW YOU A FOOTBALL?

“um, joe? i’m not padded?”

“no yeah but it’s fine” — WHAT DOES HE MEAN..

like are you even coordinated enough to catch a ball from anyone, much less JOE BURROW?

he’s like baby. bubs. it’s fineeee i’ll go easy

YEAH UH-HUH OKAY

surprisingly he does

and you catch the first few and throw them back and he’s sO proud of you!!

but then

suddenly

it’s “oh, let’s run routes”

“hell nah. i’m not ja’marr or tee or anyone else. do that shit when your brothers get here.”

and he’s pouting. with his pitiful bottom lip sticking out

he’s not gonna make you feel bad is he? IS HE????

and now here he comes. strolling through the backyard and to you. and oH

his arms are around you. he’s hugging you. fuck he smells good

and now you’re kissing and

“pleeeeasseeee?”

THIS FUCKER— “fine. a FEW.”

it’s more than a few, but he’s singing your praises even though you have NO CLUE what the hell you’re doing

“no babe really you’re doing so well, yeah just like that”

WHY IS HE RILING YOU UP LIKE THIS!???? what the hell joseph

you catch a few more for him and then you’re like bro. i’m getting windED LET ME BREATHE.

he’s just smiling and happy-go-lucky

meanwhile you’re doubled over hands on your knees and PANTING

after a few minutes you’re like okay joey can we be done now? cAN WE

and he’s like one more *pouty face*

okay. fine. one more

so he throws it to you. perfect spiral. a dime. here it comes. and as it lands in your hands, you see him

RUNNING AT YOU FULL SPEED

JOEY WHEELS??

oh fUCK

so. you do what any idiot in the christmas spirit with a hot football player boyfriend does. you yell

“CAN’T CATCH ME, I’M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!”

now you’re running. full speed. as far as your lil legs will take you

(not far)

LITERALLY HE’S CHASING YOU AROUND IN A CIRCLE

joey’s on your heels and suddenly you’re in thE AIR

HE GOT YOU

and he’s spinning you around and

it’s kinda romantic. even though it’s colder than FUCK OUTSIDE

he lets you down and you pull him in for a sweet kiss and

hell yeah. he’s so hot his stubble is scratching at your face and

CONTROL YOURSELF THIS IS HIS PARENTS’ BACKYARD

oh a car is pulling in. okay separate HORNDOGS

he takes your hand and is admiring the sparkly diamond ring he gave you recently

beautiful oval shaped diamond that you LOVE SO MUCH. and you love HIM so much

he’s looking at you with bedroom eyes. JOE CHILL

the idea of you being his fiancée gets him HOT AND BOTHERED

BUT it’s one of his brothers and their family exiting the car, gotta go greet everyone. which you are excited about

but joe stops you and says

“next i’m gonna teach you how to run a slant, then an out route, and then a post, and then-“

you interrupt him like - baby. please

“wait. i DO want you to teach me what the hell dice right f fly whiskey brady is. and also the one where you said alert booty”

he smiles. shit eating grin. because FUCK, YOU JUST AGREED TO DO THIS AGAIN??

none of the photos or dividers used are mine. all cred to owners.

taglist: @slimshiesty @starsinthesky5 @kykysinlovewithafairytale @burrowdarling @bengals-barnesbabe @joeyb1989 @loveyatopluto @toterry @unhingedfangirl @superheroprincess22 @burreauxsworld @definitelynotdomanique @samanthamark5 @superstarshitblog @fa1ry03 @wickedfun9 @xbriexx @venic-bxtch @burrowdarling @angels555 @idbe-theman @yelenasbraid @ladyluvduv @joeburrowshaircurl @joeybisbootiful @livinobx @blairsworld22 @jarring-behavior @joeyburrrow @yomamaslays4lyfe

[gryffindraws]

i finally finished the comic i started back in october? i based it around the idea that aziraphale secretly planned the dance to confess to crowley <3 this comic was went though a few stylistic changes as i learned more about drawing the characters and the comic itself. so i apolgise for the weird continuity, this was genuinely just a fun little project tat turned into something I'm really proud of. as an aside, i will be running a dtiys for the last panel on my instagram @gryffin_draws sometime next week!

page text:

page one: Aziraphale: We're perfectly safe!

Crowley: No, we're not! We need to work out what to do

A: I have a plan. Besides... I think you're overestimating how much danger we're actually in

Page two: C: Angel, what are we doing?

A: Dancing? What does it look like?

C: Why the ball plot? Do Nina and Maggie really [need] a ball?

Page three: C: What do you mean? Who else would it be for?

A: Crowley

C: Angel?

Page five:

C: Did you set up a whole ball... to set us up?

A: Uh...

C: Ha! Hahaha! *Snort*

A: Stop laughing!

Page six:

C How can someone as clever as you be so silly?!

A: W-what? Oh, do stop teasing, dear?

C: Angel, you already had me.

page seven:

A: Do you mean it?

C: what have we been doing for 6000 years?

Page eight:

A: Dancing around each other?

C: Oh, you're such a bastard

A: My dear?

C: I guess there's only one thing left.

A: what's that?

Page nine:

C: Lead on, angel

[borathae]

↳ Index [Day 15 - Incubus Sex]

Pairing: Dom!Yoongi x sub f.Reader x sub!Taehyung

Genre: Incubus!Yoongi, Best Friends to Lovers!Tae x OC, Supernatural!AU

Kinks: sex in a secluded winter cabin, summoning of a sex demon, Yoongi is a lot taller and beefier than them, he also has four arms <3, and he has a split tongue and demon fangs and horns and he’s hot, god I’m such a monster fucker hahaha, dirty talk, praise, good girl & good boy kink, examination play, breast play, nipple massages, cunnilingus, rimjob, thigh riding, guided male masturbation, handjob, anal fingering, male self fuck (Tae stuffs his own ass with his own balls), he also has to jerk off in front of her while she rides Yoongi’s thigh, leather kink, pussy rubbing, multiple orgasms, magical demon spit that makes them hornier, male anal sex, magical cocks (Yoongi can shapeshift his cock), he shapeshifts it to an anal toy and fucks Tae with it while Tae has to eat her out, then later they share Yoongi, she rides his face & he gets bounced on his cock, pissing from cumming too hard, tears & screams of pleasure, aftercare

Wordcount: 10.8k

a/n: all you had to do was mention the summoning of sex demon yoongi and i knew that i had to write this fadsnfan you also wanted best friends to lovers with Tae & OC sooooo this story is filled with tension and flirting and bruh unhinged sex fsdfna have fun you little whores 🖤 ps: yoongs looks way too innocent in the header bahaha

“Do you think this is a good idea? I watched horror movies which started like this”, you told your best friend two months ago when he came running to you with the idea of going on a winter holiday together.

“Horror movies aren’t real life. It’s going to be great”, he answered and the plan was set. 

You look around the place, breath coming out as white fog and nose chilly from the air. It has been snowing the entire car ride, but stopped five minutes ago. The snow sits under your feet and atop the roof of the wooden cabin. The trees carry a thick blanket as well, smaller branches bending under the weight.

The snow scrunches beside you, a deep exhale of a human follows. You turn your head, laying eyes on Taehyung’s flushed face. He is carrying both your bags, grinning from ear to ear.

“You still think this is a good idea?”

“Positivity ___, this is the best idea.”

“We stopped having signal around five kilometres back.”

“Let’s just see it as our own little digital detox.” He shoulders the bags. “Besides, this cabin has a landline.”

He walks up the three steps. You follow close behind, looking at your own feet in order not to slip and die.

“Yeah, until a serial killer decides to cut the line and murder us with an axe. I saw the movies, Tae.”

“Hush, no more talk about serial killers. This is a good idea.”

“Until it’s not.”

Taehyung turns. You collide with him, hands on his chest and lips dangerously close to touching his’. You inhale sharply, heart tightening in your chest. He is your best friend, but man, the way you feel for him would say otherwise. But that isn’t important right now. Your current situation is. You but a breath away from accidentally kissing him and him looking down at you with half-lidded eyes.

“Stop being such a nagging party pooper. This is a good idea.”

You watched his lips move as he talked. They are still moving. You don’t know what he is saying.

“___?”

“Huh?” you rip out of your trance, looking into his eyes.

He cocks his brow up at you.

“Can you unlock the door before we freeze out here?”

“Oh, uh, yeah sure”, you mumble, taking out the keys you got at the camp reception to unlock the cabin. You try to regulate your pulse while you do it, hoping that Taehyung can’t see your fingers tremble just a little. Your worries are for naught because Taehyung has his back turned to you, taking in the view.

The camp you currently find yourselves in consists of ten wooden cabins sprawled around a large lake and nestled into a valley between mountains and thick forests. If one wishes to do so, one can go ice skating on the lake or wander through the snowy woods. The mountains offer various skiing slopes and opportunities to go sledding. It was Taehyung’s idea to go on a best friend holiday together because the colder months have been stressful at both your jobs. The idea itself was amazing – not only because you could selfishly pretend that this holiday was romantic – if it wasn’t for the camp’s reputation of being as close to nature as possible. The cabin had electricity and warm water, but no internet or access to civilisation. Granted, there was the reception cabin with its restaurant, but it is five kilometres away from you behind a wall of thick forest and only reachable by a rocky road. If it wasn’t for Taehyung’s 4-wheel-drive jeep and his trusty snow chains, you most definitely would have gotten stuck already.

Taehyung called staying at this camp the perfect opportunity to forget capitalism and what it does to your nerves, you still call it a bad idea which will end in serial killer attacks.

The cabin is still chilly when you enter because there was no electrical heating installed, just one fireplace. 

“I’m freezing my ass off”, you whine, rubbing your own arms to create warmth.

“Carry the bags to our rooms. I’m getting firewood from outside”, Taehyung says and disappears through the door.

It doesn’t take him long to return to you standing in the living room with a face of horror carved deeply into your features.

“What happened? Did you see a serial killer?” he jokes, carrying big logs of wood in his arms.

“So we might have a problem and don’t lose your shit, okay?”

“Okay?”

He squats down in front of the fireplace, stacking the wood neatly.

“There is only one bed.”

He stops in his movements for a moment. You hold your breath, waiting for his reaction. The movements continue.

“I know.”

Your heart sinks into your stomach before a million butterflies lift it again.

“What do you mean you know?”

“I booked the cabin, didn’t I?”

“Yeah well, but…huh? You knew?”

“Sure I did.” He uses his lighter to start the fire, bending down to blow into the small flame until it grows and starts gnawing on the first log. He stretches out his hands, rubbing them together to warm them.

When you stay silent, he stands up and turns.

“Why? Is this a problem? We shared a bed before.”

“Yeah, when we were teens at summer camp with my mom. That’s so different.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“Yeah it is”, you throw back, crossing your arms in front of your chest. 

You have a weird way of hiding your massive crush on him. Whenever there is the slightest hint of blurring the lines, you pretend to be annoyed by the situation. It is childish, you are aware of it, but you also want to minimise damage as much as possible. If Taehyung would be the first to snuff out the delusions, it would ruin you. So you make sure to always kill whatever spark might form between you and him. This technique has helped you survive with your stupid feelings for him for more than eight years now.

You were twenty when you realised that the fondness you had for him was way more than just the fondness for a friend. You were twenty one when you realised that said fondness will never be reciprocated when he got a girlfriend and proceeded to date her for five years. Granted, you dated someone as well for three years of that, but your feelings for him never went away. You were twenty six when he broke up with his girlfriend and you started to have hopes again. You were barely twenty seven when you decided to keep your feelings to yourself and only stay his best friend, you were too scared to ruin what you had.

You are twenty eight now and your feelings for him are as strong as they could ever be and pretending that blurring the lines annoys you gets harder and harder by the day. But you have to. What if you are only imagining it? What if he doesn’t feel the same?

Taehyung scrunches his brows at your reaction, crossing his arms in front of his chest as well.

“I didn’t think that the bed would be such a bother to you. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll sleep on the couch”, he says and pouts.

Now That you don’t want.

“No, it’s just…I packed my ugliest PJs, it’s embarrassing.”

He scoffs, features softening.

“You’re so weird. As if I ever cared about the state of your sleepwear. Do you wanna start with dinner?”

You take a deep breath. The situation is saved. You made sure the lines stopped blurring and he wouldn’t be angry at you.

“Sure. I’m so down for ramen tonight.”

“Nice, me too. We could go searching for herbs in the forest. To elevate the taste.”

“No, you stay here. The last time you tried to cook with herbs from the forest, you had the shits for three days.”

“How could I forget? My asshole was so raw afterwards. I swear I thought that I shat out my insides at one point.”

“Nice. Thanks for that image”, you say sarcastically.

Taehyung laughs. You join him a second later, exchanging a sneaky glance with him. He is so beautiful without even trying. If only your morals were a little more twisted, you would kiss his stupid smile away. Taehyung breaks the eye contact, rolling his lower lip between his teeth as he gets on his tiptoes to get a pot from the upper cupboard. Are your eyes deceiving you or did he gulp after he ended the eye contact?

No, don’t be ridiculous. You shake your feelings away and busy yourself with unloading the groceries you got for the week.

The next town was twelve kilometres away. You drove through it on your way to the camp. It consisted of one main road and straight lines of side roads. It had no town centre and every important shop was located along the main road. The townsfolk looked at you with grim eyes and tight lips as you rolled pass them. The clerk in the supermarket barely wanted to greet you, let alone wish you a safe journey. You called the town proof for serial killers while Taehyung called you ridiculous. You were joking of course, but it was fun to tease him a little. You liked when he threw back a witty remark.

You eat the ramen in front of the fire, sitting on a few cushions on the floor and with blankets draped over your shoulders. It is very warm and cozy and your initial distaste for the remote location was gone.

“It’s so quiet out here”, you say.

“Yeah, right?”

You and Taehyung have finished dinner by now, you have already washed the dishes and are now warming your feet by the fire, sitting next to each other. Your arms are almost touching.

Taehyung rolls his head back and closes his eyes. You study him. The fire shines onto his neck, you are so close that you can see his skin texture. You are so insane, but you swear that your tongue knows exactly how it would feel like to lick him there. He inhales deeply and exhales through his nose.

“I really needed this. Work’s been dragging me down.”

You break your eyes away from his neck, staring at the flames instead. You are such a dirty woman. 

“I get you. I’m so glad that I announced my break months ago and I could say a big fat goodbye to the projects coming in this week.”

Taehyung chuckles, “so much for team comradery.”

“Yah”, you slap his stomach gently, “you know exactly how shitty Yunjin and Mina are when it comes to being good colleagues. At least the team knew that I would be gone two months prior unlike them who announce it a week prior.”

“I know, I was just teasing you. You’re cute when you whine.”

“Sorry?”

He smiles languidly and peels one eye open to look at you.

“Nothing”, he says and closes his eye again.

You gulp, tugging at the collar of your jumper. Your face is burning hotter than the fire. You swear that you actually felt your ovaries throb at his words. You are so shocked that you have no chance to pretend to be annoyed by the blurring of lines before Taehyung already talks again.

“Thinking about all the work I left behind is glorious, you’re right. God, I can’t wait to come back to work and have it all be done by the others.”

“Why are you allowed to be a shitty colleague, but I’m not?”

“You can be a shitty colleague, I fully support that. I don’t know why you’re still staying at this shit place anyway.”

“Because it’s hard finding something new. God, do we need to discuss this right now? I��ve already been stressing about my situation enough.”

“No of course not. Sorry” He rolls his head to the front and looks at you. “No more work talk. This week is supposed to be our detox. No phones, no internet, no work. Just you and I in this little cabin in the woods where nobody can hear us.”

“If you weren’t the person closest to me, this sentence would have sounded creepy as fuck.”

He chuckles, eyes glimmering in the shine of the fire. You grin, leaning in to nudge him with your arm.

“What should we do though? Now that nobody can hear us?”

His eyes flit to your lips. You saw it clearly. Your chest tightens, your airways close up. He runs his teeth over his lower lip then whispers his words.

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

His eyes flit up, connecting with yours with such intensity that your vision blurs a little. Holy shit.

“You’re being fucking creepy. Stop messing with me”, you hiss in faux annoyance, pushing at his chest.

“What did I do?” he asks.

“You’re acting like a serial killer, it’s weird”, you lie, stumbling to your feet, “I’m taking a shower.”

“What if I follow you like in Bate’s Motel? You know, stabby-stabby with my huge knife into your bare back.”

Holy shit.

“Then I’m grabbing you by the balls and dragging your ass outside to sleep in the snow.”

He laughs and then you close the door to the bathroom. 

Holy. Shit.

Things changed in the living room when you come back. Taehyung pushed the couch further away from the fire and made a circle with candles.

“What the hell are you up to now?”

He looks over his shoulder, scanning his eyes over your body.

“Cute PJs, I don’t know why you think they’re ugly.”

“The edges are frayed and I have a hole in my thigh part.”

“You can’t even see that. Come, sit next to me.”

You do so cross-legged.

“What are you doing? For real.”

“I’m making a summoning circle.”

“I’m sorry?”

He points at the book in front of him.

“Wait. You got the book? I mentioned it as a joke, you know?”

“Yeah, I got the book. Isn’t it cool? I followed the instructions just as described. We can finally talk to ghosts.”

One must know that you and Taehyung have an unhealthy obsession with the supernatural. If there is a new ghost hunting show, rest assured that you are watching it together. If there is a new book about the supernatural, rest assured that one of you will get a copy. One time you tried to go ghost hunting yourselves, but had to give up because you both got scared with the first sound and ran back to your car. The supernatural doesn’t scare you, only real humans do. Taehyung always says that bad ghosts are only bad ghosts because they were wronged by humans, which is another proof that the real evil are humans.

“Are you serious? Here?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“It’s our first night here. What if we summon an evil ghost?”

“Then we befriend them and help them find what they need.”

“You’re a dreamer if you think evil ghosts wanna be our friends.”

He pouts. He is so adorable that you give up with a chuckle.

“Fine, we can befriend evil ghosts, but if we can’t? We still have a week to go and I don’t wanna spend it fighting some evil entity.”

“No, but this spell is safe. Look, they call it the summoning of a helper. We can talk to a nice ghost.”

You read the page carefully. Taehyung was right. The spell sounded safe and besides, you were never successful in your endeavours. Of course you were a believer, but you were also a realist. Things like summoning ghosts or talking to them isn’t real. Taehyung seems so smitten by the idea however that you can’t say no to him.

“Fine, let’s do it.”

“Yay! I’m so happy!” he exclaims, grinning from ear to ear.

“What do we have to do?”

“Hold hands and then say this sentence five times. Oh great helper we summon thee.”

“Sounds easy.” You intertwine hands with him. “Let’s do it.”

You and he hold hands and begin chanting. You keep holding hands after the chanting, staring at the candle circle. Nothing happens. You already expected it, but Taehyung seems devastated.

“Why is nothing happening?”

“Maybe we didn’t do it right.”

“Right. Let’s do it again.

“Tae no, I don’t-”

He doesn’t let you finish your sentence, beginning to chant a second time. You give up with a sigh and join him. As expected, nothing happens.

“I don’t get it. Something should happen”, he murmurs, flipping through the book.

“Well, we tried. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to happen.”

“No, let’s try it one more time please.”

“Tae, I don’t think-”

Yet again you aren’t allowed to finish your sentence, except that it wasn’t Taehyung who interrupted you this time around. The fireplace and the candles roar up in bright flames and heat. A blinding flash of light for just a second then the room is normal again. Except for the man sitting on a chair in the middle of the candle circle. He has a cup of tea against his lips, looking surprised as if he was dragged from where he was before.

You and Taehyung scream instantly, jumping to your feet and clutching each other.

The man screams back at you, but he does it mockingly.

“Aaah! I get it, I get it. Why are we screaming?” he calls over your voices.

“What the fuck just happened?!”

“Tae what did we do?!”

You and he turn to each other, holding hands.

“What the fuck?!” you yell at each other.

“Yeah, what the fuck?” the man agrees then snaps into his fingers, “are you done now? Cause I have a lot to say.”

You and Taehyung turn to him. He looks human except for his golden eyes and black horns. His hair is just as dark and his sculpted, big body is wrapped in black leather clothes and a black cape. He is wearing leather gloves and boots.

“You have no manners, going about summoning me and screaming at my face. Who do you think me to be?” the man? Ghost? Demon? scolds, wagging his finger.

“What, what, who are you?” Taehyung stutters, clutching your hands tightly.

“What, what, wha-”, he mocks him in a high pitched voice and then continues with sass, “I don’t know, you tell me. You were the ones who summoned me in the middle of my morning tea, you rude brats”, the stranger spits and lifts his cup, “do you think I’m available twenty four seven? Of course not, I have my working hours as well.”

“___ can you understand him too?” Taehyung whispers to you.

“Yeah, I can”, you whisper back.

“Well duh. Last time I checked, I can speak whatever language you mortals speak. Tch, you are more ill mannered than I thought you to be, fucking brats.”

You and Taehyung exchange a look. It is Taehyung who steps closer to the stranger, keeping you safe behind him.

“Be welcome oh good ghost. What can we call thee? How may we help thee cross into the afterlife?”

The stranger studies Taehyung’s features and bursts out a laughter with such enthusiasm that Taehyung’s hair moves from his breath. He should be disgusted by it, but something about the scent in his breath makes Taehyung feel dizzy and almost drawn to the stranger.

“Me a ghost? You amuse me, mortal. My name is Salaryoongilzus from and to Melzons, First of his Name and Devourer of Souls, but you can call me Yoongi for short.” He bows. “At your service.”

You step next to Taehyung.

“And what are you?”

“Guess.”

You pick up the book from the floor. Taehyung presses his head against yours as he reads the page with you.

“Taehyung”, you gasp and point at a small writing which suddenly appeared at the bottom of the page. “Demon. We summoned a demon.”

“A helper demon?”

“Look. A sex helper demon.”

Your heads snap up simultaneously, eyes widened and lips parted.

The demon Yoongi tips his imaginary hat, carrying a sly smirk on his lips.

“We summoned a succubus? How did that happen?”

The smirk drops from his lips. He points his finger at Taehyung.

“Rude brat, I’m an incubus. Succubus is for female sex demons, I’m an incubus, a male sex demon. Get your terminology straight.”

“An incubus?”

“Do I look like I have tits and a cunt to you?”

Taehyung studies him.

“Obviously I don’t. Go look at your girlfriend if you aren’t sure how such body parts look like.”

“No she isn’t my girlfriend.” “He isn’t my boyfriend.”

Yoongi, the incubus, blurts out laughter again, pointing his finger between you and Taehyung.

“Now this is interesting. You aren’t dating and yet you have so much sexual energy between you, it is as if you have been fucking for years.”

You and Taehyung exchange an awkward yet tension filled look. Somehow the room got hotter.

“Oh? Ohoho, this is really interesting.” Yoongi says and sits down on his chair. He crosses his legs and sips on his tea. “So you two are friends?”

“Best friends.”

“Best friends and you had feelings for each for how many years?”

It gets more and more difficult to exchange a look with Taehyung. It feels like your heart is beating out of your chest, beating even harder when you see how red his cheeks have become.

“You didn’t know?! Hah!” Yoongi slaps his own knee as he laughs, stomping his feet excitedly. “This is great. Best friends who have been pretending as if blurring the lines was a normal thing to do between friends. Tell me how many times have you jerked off to each other’s image?”

“Excuse me?” “I wouldn’t dare!”

Yoongi smirks knowingly. He takes a calm sip of his tea.

“Fine”, he says and stands up. “You convinced me to stay. Cases like yours are too nourishing to miss out on. Couples, you see, have weak sexual energies to feast on. Only a few are delicious after years together, but most produce bitter energies. They tired each other out and summon me for help in fixing their sex life and I have to make do with what shitty energies they still have left. But best friends? Best friends who have been dreaming of fucking each other for years? Now that is the kind of energy I fucking love”, he says and licks over his lips. His tongue is split like that of a snake and behind his pouty lips, a set of fangs is glimmering in the lights.

“But…” you begin and look at Taehyung. He can’t look at you, breathing heavier than he normally does. You are panting as well, but know that whatever is happening to you and him is the influence of the sex demon. You wave your hands at him as if he was an insect you tried to swat away. “Shoo, go away.”

He chuckles, “adorable.”

“We don’t need your help. Shoo.”

“Yes you do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have summoned me.”

“Well, it was an accident.”

“Nope, it wasn’t.”

“Yes! It was. We don’t need help from a sex demon.”

“Too bad, I’m not leaving. A deal’s a fucking deal, even if I wanted to leave I can’t unless I fucked both of you to satisfaction.”

“What? But we didn’t ask for that.”

“Honey, you summoned a helper and I was the one being summoned. You know what that means, don’t you?” The demon steps closer to you. So close in fact that you get dizzy from his sweetened breath and feel weak from his intense stare. 

You barely shake your head, feeling hot between your legs.

“It means the one thing you both needed help with the most, was sex. Or lack thereof in your sad case. If you needed help gardening, a little gardening helper would have appeared. If you needed help killing someone, an assassin demon would have appeared. But instead I’m here now. An incubus, the goddamn personification of sex.” He reaches out and brushes the back of his hand down your cheek.

You whimper, knees buckling.

“Deny it all you want, but you two are long due for a good fucking.”

You moan, taking a step closer as you chase his kiss.

“___”, Taehyung stops you from crossing the candle circle, pulling you back to him, “don’t go to him. Who knows what he will do to you.”

Yoongi lifts his hands in defeat, “don’t worry, I’m a good boy. You know, centuries ago we were, let’s say, a little more free in how we took humans. But you know, modernisation and human rights and being civil beings, blah blah blah, basically means that we can now only do what the human subconsciously consents to.” He rolls his eyes. “One gets a new boss one time and the entire system is renewed. You should have been there when the reforms happened. There was so much bloodshed”, he laughs, “but oh well, rules are rules. If you aren’t secretly craving for something, I can’t do it to you. Deal is a deal.”

“Okay?” Taehyung cocks his brow up.

Yoongi sits down and sips on his tea. 

“You don’t believe me? Go ask your girlfriend. She’s been leaking into her little pants ever since your little feelings came to light.” 

“Huh?” “No, I’m not!”

Taehyung gawks at you. You meet his eyes, feeling hot in embarrassment.

“I’m not!” you insist.

Yoongi chuckles.

“Don’t laugh, I’m not!” You wave your hands again. “Shoo, the holy word compels you, leave. Whatever that holy word may be for you.”

“Religion isn’t going to work on me, doll. Humans made it up to pretend as if they were better than others and to have an excuse to greedily take money from the helpless in the name of their gods. I’m staying and you are getting fucked.”

“___, battle plan”, Taehyung says and takes your hand to drag you to the bedroom.

“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere”, Yoongi singsongs, sipping his tea afterwards. He leans further into his chair, sighing in relaxation.

Taehyung closes the door and locks it. He turns to you with his folded hands in front of his lips. A second later, he uses them to point at you.

“So we may have fucked up.”

“Well duh, we did! There is a bloody incubus in our living room! That’s what you get from experimenting”, you exclaim and push at his chest. 

“What I get? Excuse me? You were in on the plan!" 

“Yes, because I thought that it would be a scam! Summoning of ghosts isn’t real! It never was.” 

“How dare you”, he gasps, clutching his imaginary pearls.

“I said what I said.” 

He pouts and crosses his arms. You huff out air, mirroring his stance. You share a moment of intense silence, both suddenly reliving what the demon told you. You fluster at the same time, breaking eye contact. 

Taehyung is the first to be brave enough to speak up.

“Fact is, we have an incubus in our living room and he won’t leave until he fucked us.”

“I know, that’s insane Tae.”

“It is, but we won’t get him away any other way.”

“You’re not actually suggesting we take his offer?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I mean, why not? It’s not like he was that wrong. We haven’t been laid in a long time.”

“Speak for yourself, mister.”

“Well, did you?” he challenges with a cock of his brow.

“No”, you mumble and lower your head in defeat.

“See? We take the deal, get it over with and he leaves. Done. And then we burn the book and never speak of tonight again.”

What he says makes sense. It’s insane, but it makes sense.

“Fine.” You give in. “How are we doing this? Taking turns in the bedroom while the other waits outside?” 

“Or we could…” he looks at your lips.

“You’re joking”, you gasp, feeling drawn to him.

Taehyung smiles awkwardly and rubs his neck nervously.

“I mean, was he that off?”

“No, I mean yes, I mean no. I mean, I don’t know.” 

Taehyung steps closer and takes your hands. Your breath hitches, your skin tingles. He caresses your knuckles.

“He wasn’t off as far as I’m concerned”, he confesses in a soft voice, eyes racing between yours.

“Tae, holy fuck this is…”

“...insane? Yeah, but also freeing. I’ve been carrying these feelings with me for years and I swear I wanted to use this holiday to finally confess to you. Granted, I wanted to take you on a star watching walk and confess to you under the moon, but I guess accidentally summoning a sex demon who discovers our secret is more our style.”

You laugh. He laughs with you. It sheds both of you of so much nervous weight on your shoulders. 

“Yeah, I guess it is”, you agree.

A moment of silence. Taehyung closes the distance, stubbing your nose with his. You sigh and close your eyes, lips parting as you chase his kiss. Taehyung, who understood the signal, takes it and kisses you. 

Not one second is wasted before you and he find your rhythm and your hands melt deep into the other’s softness. It isn’t long after that the kiss becomes heated. Perhaps it is the influence of the sex demon or the sheer attraction to each other, but you begin moaning and groping each other hungrily. 

“Stop wait, stop”, you break it.

Taehyung whimpers softly, chasing your kiss as his big hands knead your buttocks.

“Don’t stop this please. I dreamed of this for years, please”, he begs, lips brushing your cheek as he seeks your kiss.

“Tae, the incubus.”

“Right. We should probably see if he’s still there.”

Despite not wanting to, you break the moment for the sake of getting rid of your living room problem. You hold hands, opening the bedroom door together. You peak out. 

“Hello”, Yoongi coos, wiggling his fingers.

“Shit”, the door slams close. You and Taehyung exchange a look. “Tae fuck, this is actually happening.” 

“I guess it is.”

“This is insane.”

“It is.”

“Okay, I’m doing it.”

Taehyung hugs your arm, “do it.”

You and he open the door and enter the living room.

“Rude. Slamming doors isn’t very civil of you”, Yoongi says, studying the way Taehyung clutches you. The scent of your sexual energies became stronger ever since you were in the bedroom. He can’t wait to feast on it.

You and Taehyung stand in front of the demon, buffing your chests to appear stronger.

“If we do this, can you promise us to leave afterwards?” 

“Demons don’t make promises, but a deal is a deal. Yes I will leave afterwards. Are we done now? I could have made myself another cup of tea in the time you two brats were talking. I’m bored.” 

“Give us a moment”, Taehyung says and turns to you. He takes your hands, squeezing them tightly. 

“Tae”, you whisper, gazing into his eyes.

“Do you really want to do this?” 

“Yes, I do. You?”

“I do, yeah. Just…” he cradles your face. “...whatever happens, I love you.”

“I love you too, Tae. I have loved you since-”

“Yeah, yeah we get it. You two are so in love. Shut up and let’s get to fucking. I’m not here to listen to you yap to each other about feelings.” 

You click your tongue in annoyance, turning to the demon. Taehyung does the same.

“First Mister Yoongi from and to something”, you say, snapping your fingers, “you’re rude and impatient. And second of all, if we agree to your deal, are you going to destroy our souls?” 

Yoongi smirks in amusement, “you’re a feisty one, I like you already.”

“Answer my question.”

Yoongi lifts his hands in defeat, “fine. No, I am not going to destroy your souls. As I said before, I will be feasting on the sexual energies you are creating. It will be painless, unless you want it to hurt”, he explains and flashes his fangs playfully.

You gulp, taking a step back. You look at Taehyung.

“Dude, he’s, like, really doing it to me. The fangs thing was hot”, you tell him.

“I know, right?” 

Yoongi chuckles, “you flatter me.” 

It is Taehyung who speaks up next, “if you eat our sexual energies, does it mean that we won’t have any left for the future?”

“Mortals and their endless questions”, Yoongi says under his breath, massaging the bridge of his nose in exhaustion. He takes a deep breath and talks with annoyance in his deep voice, “no this will not happen. Don’t be stupid.”

Taehyung pouts, glancing at you.

“He wasn’t being hot to me, did you see that?”

“Yeah, rude.”

“I can be hot if you want me to”, Yoongi says and grabs Taehyung by the wrist to drag him close. 

Taehyung stumbles with a surprised squeak, moaning a second later when Yoongi drags his split tongue up the side of his neck. Taehyung presses his legs together, twisting Yoongi’s shirt. 

You gulp. This is so hot to look at, but also, you need to save Taehyung.

“Hey, leave him. We didn’t say yes to the deal yet”, you spit and drag Taehyung out of the demon’s claws. 

Taehyung stumbles, colliding with your body, weakened and dizzy. He drops his head on your shoulder, panting heavily. 

Yoongi studies him with a knowing smirk.

“For the sake of your friend, say yes. I don’t think he can take a lot more.” 

“Tae, are you okay?” 

“I need sex, ___, I’m”, he presses his lips to your neck, kissing it sloppily. “Holy fuck, I want you. Holy fuck, I…”

“Tae...” you mewl, eyes threatening to close and skin tingling like crazy. You wanted this for years. It feels so good. 

“Hey! Stop that, I’m still here!” Yoongi snaps you out of it in a sharp voice. 

You and Taehyung look at him.

“Should we?”

“I think we should.”

“Fine”, you say, “we will agree to the terms we just discussed.”

The flames flicker aggressively, somewhere far away, a bell tolls. Yoongi smiles triumphantly and claps into his hands.

“The deal has been made. Wonderful. Let’s get started.” 

“So how are we going to do this?” 

“You are going to listen to me. I will tell you what to do.”

“And if we do and we’re done, you’ll leave?” 

“Promise”, Yoongi says and smiles wickedly. 

“Fine. Then let’s get this over with”, you say and squeeze Taehyung’s hand.

“Wonderful.” Yoongi claps into his hands. “First things first, you two are too clothed. Get naked and let me see what I have to work with”, he says, busy with taking off his gloves. He throws them over the chair, stretching out his fingers.

You and Taehyung exchange a shy look. You never saw each other naked before. You saw each other in swimwear but that’s it.

“The time to be shy has passed. Get naked before I rip it off of you”, Yoongi orders sharply. 

“I love you, yeah?” Taehyung says.

“I love you too.” 

“I guess, this is happening.” 

“Turn around, let’s do it like that.”

You and he turn your backs to each other and start to undress. 

“Mortals are fascinating. You are about to get fucked and yet you are still shy.” 

“Shut up.”

Yoongi chuckles, “I like you. You’re exciting.” 

“Tch whatever. I’m naked, Tae. You?”

“Me too.” 

“I’m turning.”

“Okay. Three, two, one.”

You and Taehyung gasp, eyes widening in awe. This is him. Naked and turned on. This is you. Naked and turned on. 

“Holy fuck Tae, you’re so handsome. I…” your eyes trail off to his cock. “Damn this is…wow.”

“You’re so beautiful too. I can’t believe you’re real”, he says, eyes flitting between your tits and your pussy. “You are the most beautiful woman to ever exist.”

“You think so?”

“Of course I do. I-”

“We get it, you’re in love. Fucking hell, mortals are so emotional”, Yoongi says and steps out of the candle circle. 

“You can do that?” 

“Well duh, you made a deal”, he dismisses you and presses himself between you and Taehyung. “Now let’s see.” 

He turns to you first. 

"Stay still.”

He touches your tits, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. His palms are so soft and warm, his hands are human but big. So big and masculine. His fingers are so long, currently pinching and rubbing your nipples. 

You can only handle it by grabbing his lower arms and whimpering softly. They are strong and muscular, his body is so warm. You feel dizzy.

“A good pair of tits. Turn.” He says and does it for you. 

He touches your back and arms. Each second turns you on more and more to the point where you can barely stand up. 

“Pretty back. I bet your little friend fantasised about cumming on it a dozen times before.”

“Ah..”

“Mhm, you liked that, didn’t you? Such a needy girl”, Yoongi taunts and grabs your hip. He puts his other hand on your head and pushes you down until you are bent over. 

“Ah geez, warn me. I didn’t stretch.” 

“Too bad”, Yoongi says and falls to his knees, now eye to eye with your ass. He spreads it, making you mewl in embarrassment because you know for a fact that Taehyung looks as well. 

You know because he moaned softly when Yoongi revealed you. 

“Pretty hole, but not virgin. Not done by a real cock though. Dirty girl, do you like stuffing toys up your hole?” Yoongi coos.

“I uhm”, you begin writhing, feeling embarrassed.

“Don’t flee, I’m not done”, Yoongi orders and sticks out his tongue to drag it over your hole.

“Ah, oh god”, you get out, falling to your knees because it felt too good. 

Yoongi sees no problem in it, grabbing your hips to pull you into a doggy position. You are more exposed like this, mewling into the floor. 

“Such a pretty hole and a pretty cunt to go with it”, he rasps, tracing every inch of it with his long fingers. “So wet.” He licks his fingers. “So sweet”, he growls, sending shivers through you. 

“Please”, you beg, pushing your hips closer to him.

“Good. Done.” Yoongi however abandons you, standing up and turning to Taehyung. 

With wobbly knees you turn as well, kneeling as you look up at them. Yoongi is a lot taller than Taehyung, commanding the room without having to try.

Taehyung looked at you first, but changes it when Yoongi touches his pecs. He looks up at him, panting nervously and making puppy eyes at him.

“Now you. I heard the disgusting things you were thinking as I examined her. You’re a dirty one, aren’t you?” 

Taehyung gulps. 

“Yes you are, but also a pretty one. Good pecs with pretty nipples”, Yoongi says as he rubs them. “Tongue out.” 

Taehyung obeys. 

Yoongi inspects it and hums.

“Good. Back in.”

Taehyung obeys. Yoongi runs his hands down his torso and grabs his cock. 

Taehyung moans, thrusting into his touch and grabbing bundles of his shirt. 

“You have an impressive cock for a human. It may rival that of a demon.”

“Ah, please.” 

Yoongi squeezes his tip until it leaks, picks it up and licks it.

“Sweet. Both of you. How pleasing. Turn”, he says and does it for Taehyung.

The latter falls to his knees all on his own, getting into doggy position with his ass stuck high into the air. 

“Holy shit”, you get out under your breath, eyes glued to his exposed hole. The view gets denied of you very soon when Yoongi kneels down and therefore shields you from it. You scoot to the side, greedily wanting more. 

“Someone seems to be willing. Pretty hole and would you look at that? Not virgin either.” 

Your pussy throbs. Taehyung looks at you with submissive puppy eyes, fingers trying to grasp you. You reach out, hooking your fingers with him. He holds you so desperately, turning you on with it.

“Not done by a human either. Look at that, you and ___ can share toys from now on”, Yoongi says and bends down to lick his hole. 

Taehyung moans with such utter and raw pleasure that you feel dizzy. Even his eyes go out of focus and cross a little. He looks as if he wanted this exact thing done to him for years, as if he was just waiting for someone to lick his hole. He presses back, smothering Yoongi with his ass this way.

He chuckles and breaks away, split tongue dripping saliva.

“Someone is very eager. How interesting.” 

He stands up, leaving Taehyung in his agony. 

“Get up, the both of you. I’m done with my examination. I know exactly what to do to you.”

You manage to get up quicker. Taehyung is still too wobbly to do so, only managing to get to his knees. 

“That will have to do. Mortals are so weak”, Yoongi says and sits down on his chair. He spreads his legs in a commanding, masculine way, shifting his eyes to you. “Come here, pretty girl.” 

You obey his command without hesitation. His spit is still sticking to you and has been gradually ruining you more and more. You feel enchanted, wanting to obey whatever command he has for you. 

“Sit”, he orders, patting his thigh. 

You obey.

“Nono, so you can face him.” 

“Sorry, yes”, you correct the position. 

Yoongi grabs your hips and pulls you down the last few inches. You moan loudly at the first contact, back arching and fingers digging into his sculpted thigh. The leather is so rough against your sensitive pussy, his hands are paradise as they hold your hips. 

“Move.” 

You obey his orders, legs trembling as fiery pleasure courses through you. 

“Good girl. Now, you are going to touch yourself to the view of her.”

“What?” Taehyung croaks, eyes glued to your body and how it moves on Yoongi’s thigh. Your breasts looks so ravishing like this. Taehyung craves a taste of them.

“You heard me. Show her what you were doing whenever you jerked off to her.” 

“But I-”

“Don’t try to deny it. I know you lied. You touched yourself to her too many times to count “

“Tae”, you whimper, meeting his eyes. 

You look so blissed out, so shaken by pleasure. Taehyung draws closer, reaching out to cup your cheek. You lean into his touch, trembling on Yoongi’s thigh.

“Tae…”

“I’m sorry, he’s right. I just-”

“Less words, more actions. Fucking touch yourself before I decide to force you”, Yoongi spits.

“Do as he says Tae, please”, you breathe, holding his cheeks, “please do it for me, please.” 

“___”, Taehyung moans, chasing you. Your lips are almost touching, you share the same air. He is looking at your mouth, right hand dropping to his cock. 

You moan with him as he begins touching himself. Your hips stutter on Yoongi’s thigh, your pussy throbs and leaks. Yoongi basks in the view with a dirty smirk, massaging your hips and waist with his strong, masculine hands. 

“She likes this, pretty boy. Her cunt is so wet on my thigh. Keep touching yourself”, he purrs.

Taehyung croaks your name, lips claiming yours in a kiss. He can’t bear it any other way. Yoongi was right. Taehyung jerked off to the fantasy of you too many times to count. He really, really tried not to, but his mind betrayed him sometimes. He touched himself, thinking about how it would be to kiss you, to touch you and be touched in return, to experience pleasure with you and be with you naked. 

He has all of it right now and Taehyung is in heaven. He pumps his cock very slowly, despite wanting to go fast. He has to go slow however, otherwise he would climax way too soon. This is his dream and it excites him way too much. 

You break the kiss, overwhelmed by your own heaven. Your foreheads rest together, it hasn't been long but you are both a little sweaty already. 

“Tae, this is…”

“I know, it is…heaven, you’re heaven.” 

“No, you are. Ah Tae, your cock.” 

Taehyung looks down at what you see, moaning deeply. His cock is flushed and hardened, leaking onto his long fingers as he massages it quickly. 

“You’re so sexy, oh god, Tae your cock is so sexy”, you mewl, sliding your hands to his hair to twist bundles of it.

“Ah, I can’t”, Taehyung gasps, having to stop. “When you’re watching me, I just. I can’t handle it.”

“Your cock is throbbing.”

“___ please, you’re not making it easier”, Taehyung laughs breathily.

You straighten up, looking over your shoulder. Yoongi locks eyes with you. Dark marks have appeared on his features, pulsing like a slow heartbeat. This must be the sign that he is feeding on your energies. 

“What do you want, pretty girl?” he asks in a terribly seductive voice.

“Help him last longer, please.” 

Yoongi smirks. He snaps his fingers, letting a bottle of lube appear out of a cloud of red smoke. He throws it at Taehyung, who catches it. 

“She wanted help. this is it. Get on your knees and show her how you fuck your own asshole. Don’t touch your cock unless I tell you to.” 

You shake on Yoongi’s thigh, giving him needy puppy eyes. He purrs, smiling darkly. He inches closer to you, inhaling through his mouth with deep rumbles in his chest. They aren’t human, clearly signs of your delicious pleasure coursing through him.

“Don’t waste time. Just the mention of it makes her taste heavenly.” 

“Yoongi”, you mewl, writhing in embarrassment. He purrs and holds your hips to guide them for now. 

“Be a good girl and look at him. I know you want to.” 

You obey his order gladly. The view which meets you there almost makes you regret turning around. Not because it is awful, but because it is so sexy that you have to lift your hips in order not to orgasm. Yoongi supports you, panting heavily from the sweet scents meeting his nose. So delicious, you taste so delicious. Your cunt keeps dripping on him. How delicious.

Taehyung is already kneeling, sticking his ass into the air and having two fingers buried inside. He pumps them in and out in a smooth rhythm, whimpering softly each time he bottoms out. 

Not in your wildest dreams could you have ever imagined that this view would be your reality one day. His fingers are long and skinny, but seem so thick in his hole. He is tanner around his rim than the rest of his body, but whenever he pulls his digits out and his hole moves around them, pink skin is revealed. 

“Holy fuck, Tae”, you get out, dropping on Yoongi’s thigh to get off to the view. You dig your nails into his leather pants, face scrunching in bliss. Each movement is electric, reaching every inch of your body. “Holy fuck, you are so hot. Baby, does this feel good?” 

“Yes, feels so good”, Taehyung whimpers, voice surprisingly high-pitched for his normally baritone timbre.

“Keep doing that, you’re doing so good.” 

Taehyung mewls your name, ass pressing back onto his fingers. This is everything he ever wished for. He spills tears onto the rug, curling his toes. This is his dream. 

You suddenly feel lips on your shoulder and strong hands cradling your tits. Shivering, you lean into Yoongi, closing your eyes halfway. 

“You’ve got a dominant side in you, don’t you? Good girl, you struck me as someone like that from the very beginning”, he rasps, rubbing your nipples slowly.

“Fuck”, you croak, leaning back into him. You can’t really grind on him like this, but it is for the best. You would orgasm way too soon if you kept going. His magic touch and the view of Taehyung are simply too powerful of a combination.

Yoongi purrs, letting you rest against his big, muscular body. He loves how small you are on his lap. Humans are so tiny and fragile in comparison to demons. Yoongi really gets off to the size imbalance, especially when it’s such a delicious feed as you and Taehyung. 

He wraps his strong arm around you, tracing your stomach and playing with your pubes while his other hand plays with your tits. 

“Do you like this, pretty girl?” he asks you in a purr.

“So much. Every touch…”

“Turns you on more. I know, that’s what I do to you”, he rasps and shifts his eyes to Taehyung. “I'll let you in on one of his little secrets, yeah?” he whispers.

You nod your head.

“Go ahead, Taehyung. Play with your cock.”

“Fuck. Yes”, Taehyung gets out and pulls his fingers free. His hole gapes slightly, looking so empty. 

Taehyung closes his lubed up fingers around his balls, spreading it on them messily. Once he is happy with the feel of it, he takes them and does the unthinkable thing of putting them up his own ass. 

“What the fuck?” you get out. 

“___”, Taehyung moans, pushing in the second one as well. He seems to struggle at first before his fragile hole gives up and takes it. The skin of his balls is stretched, his rim is pulsing and his hips are pushing back. 

“What the fuck? Taehyung you- oh my god, holy fuck.” 

“Isn’t this marvellous? This isn’t the first time he stuffs his own balls up his asshole. He thought about it for minutes. What does this do to you, pretty girl?” Yoongi taunts.

“I have to cum”, you croak, spilling tears. 

“She has to cum. Do you hear that, pretty boy? Your little self fuck is making your best friend cum.” 

“___”, Taehyung moans, jerking off his cock as his balls get squeezed in his tight, pulsing ass. The sensations are orgasmic, making his legs shake and head turn. 

“Taehyung”, you whimper, legs shaking as well and head dizzy beyond repair. Yoongi slides his fingers to your clit and rubs it. You squeal, arching your back. This was too much. He breaks you for the first time this evening. 

“Good girl, scream for me. Good girl”, Yoongi talks you through it, head pounding from the intense feed. How sweet your orgasm tastes, how much it nourishes him. He feels greedy for more. He will make you orgasm again. He just decided. He cannot miss out on more of this power. 

Taehyung begins begging as he realises what happens. 

“Please I have to cum too. Please can I cum please?” 

“Tell us what you fantasize about most and I’ll let you cum.”

“Eating her out! Please, I have to cum please”, Taehyung blurts out, arching his back. 

You sob softly, twitching on Yoongi’s thigh. Your orgasm died down but nothing changed. Yoongi works his magic on you and you are his sexual prisoner. You don’t feel any ounce of satisfaction from your high, on the contrary, you want another one and another one and, and, and. Please.

“Can you see that? She likes it. Mhm pretty girl, do you like that?” 

“Yes, like it please.”

“Good”, Yoongi stands up with you in his arms. He denies you of another orgasm like this, ignoring the whines you let out for the sake of lying you down on the floor. 

Taehyung watches it happen, hand still around his cock because he is confused. He tugs his balls out of his hole, eyes glued to your body as it gets shoved around by Yoongi.

Yoongi grabs your legs, spreading them forcefully. He purrs, eyes flickering at the view of your wet cunt.

“Do it. Show her what you want to do most.” 

Taehyung obeys, scrambling to your side. He exchanges places with Yoongi and gets on all fours. 

“I just…this is a dream”, he says, gazing at your puffy, wet lips. You are so turned on that the normally translucent excitement almost took on a slight white and creamy texture to it. Taehyung wants to taste every droplet of it. 

“Tae please”, you whimper, opening your legs further.

“I will treat you so right from now on, my baby. Holy fuck”, he croaks and lowers himself to your cunt. 

“Tae!” You scream up, arching your back and gripping his hair. It is ridiculous but you orgasm with the first lick. 

Taehyung wants to stop and look, but Yoongi doesn’t let him. He places his hand over yours and pushes his head down.

“Don’t slack”, he orders, voice dark and demonic from the feed he is experiencing. “Keep fucking going no matter what.” 

Taehyung mewls, spilling tears. He wraps his arms around your thighs, hands rubbing your sides, and obeys Yoongi’s orders. He uses his entire mouth to please you, tongue kissing your pulsing cunt as if it was his life’s purpose to do so. And right now it was. 

He dreamt about giving you head so many times that he stopped counting. Sometimes when you were at his place and you watched a movie with your legs on his couch, he imagined how it would be like to lie down between them and pleasure you as you watched the movie. He fantasised about warming your clit with his mouth, fantasised tongue fucking your hole, fantasised about tasting every inch of you.

And now it is his reality and he loves it so much that he tears up. Your thighs are shaking, your hips keep bucking up and your fingers twist his hair. You also taste like heaven. Sweet, intense, perfect. Taehyung slurps and gurgles, drinking your heavenly nectar with deep moans and happy mewls.

“This feels so good, oh god”, you get out between having to moan and having to gasp for air.

It has been a while since you felt a mouth on your pussy. Casual sex just didn’t do it for you and so you stopped seeking it. So this right now is your paradise. Out of all the things, you missed getting head the most. Getting head from Taehyung? The very reason why you currently exists. 

His lips are soft and warm, rubbing over your sensitive spots as much as they suck on them. His tongue is even softer and warmer and so fucking wet, tracing your pussy and licking every single inch. He uses the flat of it as he worships your lips and uses the tip of it as he fucks your hole. For your clit, he uses a mixture of his tip and the flat of it, following it up with a suck and purrs around it. 

Now that you had this first exciting orgasm behind you, you can really savour every second of it. Granted, it is still insanely difficult not to climax again. 

“Tae, I love this so much, Tae”, you moan, floating on bliss. 

Taehyung mewls, looking up at you. Your head is rolled to the side, giving him a view of your blissed out expression. Your eyes are closed, your lips are parted, your brows tightened. 

“He thinks that you’re beautiful right now”, Yoongi tells you. 

Taehyung mewls in agreement, nodding his head.

“Tae”, you whimper, writhing in pleasure. Your pussy throbs in his mouth, feeding him more of your sweet nectar. 

“She wants you to play with her tits.”

Taehyung obeys, reaching up to cradle your breasts and massage them.

“Ah!” you arch your back, hands slipping from his hair to instead drop next to your head and ball to fists. 

Taehyung moans, having to close his eyes. This is too exciting. Your soft breasts are like heaven in his hands. He massages them as gently as possible, moving especially tenderly around your nipples. 

You react in throbs of your pussy and arches of your back, moaning so sweetly he feels high on you. 

“Good boy, keep doing that”, Yoongi praises, giving his back a kiss before he abandons his side to fulfil his wish. 

Taehyung has been thinking it so loudly that Yoongi almost smacked the back of his head. He opens his pants and pulls it down far enough so his heavy cock would be free. He prepares it with a thick layer of lube. 

“For the future, you don’t have to scream your fantasies at me. I can hear you just right”, he hisses and punishes him by pushing his cock into his tight hole. Not that this is a real punishment, this is exactly what Taehyung wanted. 

The latter falls forward, moaning into your pussy with such enthusiasm that you have to lift your head to check.

“Holy fuck”, you croak, gawking in disbelief. 

Taehyung’s neck is bend in a weird way as his face is smothered in your pussy. His hips are held up by Yoongi forcing him to keep kneeling as he very clearly drills his cock into his ass.

He smiles at you darkly, flashing you his fangs this way. Taehyung shakes and writhes with each thrust, bruising your breasts accidentally from needing to hold something. He mewls so much, mouth sucking on your clit more than he does anything else. As if he needs to soothe himself.

“Are you-”

“-hurting him? Of course not, pretty girl. I can make myself fit in the tightest hole without pain.”

“Are you using magic?” 

“What do you think?” he asks and pulls Taehyung’s up by his hair. His back arches, you get a view of his messy face and the utter bliss on it. He thrusts into him, forcing a scream out of him. “Does this look like he is in pain?” Yoongi taunts, making Taehyung scream with each hard thrust.

“No”, you whimper, trying to rub your legs together for stimulation. 

Yoongi notices, smiling darkly. 

“Good girl, you don’t have to scream your thoughts to get them heard”, he says and picks up Taehyung easily. He never stops bouncing him on his cock even as he changes position. He falls down next to you, lifting Taehyung off his cock to turn him. 

“Yoongi, your cock”, you gasp.

It is long and thick and looks more like a big butt toy than a real cock. He has five engorged segments going from small to huge. 

“I’m simply shaping it to how he wants it to feel. Seems like your pretty friend wants to be fucked by a huge textured cock”, Yoongi rasps and sinks Taehyung down on it. 

It is insane how easily he takes his massive cock. One by one the swollen segments disappear in Taehyung and he seems to moan louder and louder with each. Once Yoongi bottoms out, you swear that Taehyung seems as if he reached enlightenment. His eyes are rolled back, his head tilted and his mouth agape. Yoongi helps him stay in this state by lifting and sinking his body, fucking him like this. It forces his cock to bounce and slap his own tummy repeatedly, spreading the wet mess he leaks everywhere.

“Do you like this? Do you like seeing him like this?” Yoongi rasps, looking at you. 

You are so close like this that you can smell his sweet breath. He is actually so beautiful for a demon. His features are so delicate and pretty and insanely addicting to look at. 

“I like it so much.” 

“Mhm, you’re such a pretty girl”, Yoongi rasps, “go ahead, I heard your wish.” 

“Thank you, oh god”, you croak and scramble to your knees.

“Although, being called someone with a pretty face is a new for me”, Yoongi chuckles, fixing his head so you can sit on his face.

You mewl in acknowledgement, gasping a second later when Yoongi pulls you down on his long tongue. You look at where he holds you, moaning in surprise when two pairs of arms greet you. One pair is busy bouncing Taehyung on his cock, while the other is busy holding you down on his face. 

“Holy fuck.”

Yoongi chuckles knowingly, scrambling your thoughts a second later with his tongue. 

You scream up, matching Taehyung’s volume. The next moments are unable to be brought onto paper because they are unable to stay in your minds anyway. All you and Taehyung know is that you feel pleasure like you have never felt before. It is normally easy to talk during sex, even in the most passionate of scenes, but as you share Yoongi, you truly can't talk. The only thing wanting to leave your throats are screams and moans and sobs. Neither of you has experienced such pleasure before and soon you find yourselves holding each other as Yoongi ruins you from below.

You swear that you already orgasmed twice on his tongue and you can’t stop doing it. He is a lot hotter than Taehyung and so much wetter. His spit is clearly magical, seeping deep into your skin and making you feel as if you are high. He also seems to be everywhere at once. You feel him on your clit, your lips, your hole, your g-spot and even tickling your cervix. And it happens at the same time, constantly. It feels so good that you almost want to flee and yet you can’t because you crave more and more and more of his touch.  

Taehyung feels just as ruined. From the moment Yoongi entered him, he lost all control over his body. He is so huge and long and yet doesn’t hurt. Not even when he forcefully claimed his small hole, did he hurt. He felt like heaven from the very beginning and this heaven seems to grow more and more the longer he bounces him on his cock. Taehyung doesn’t know how many times he already orgasmed, but he can’t stop. He is so filled up, so stretched out, so fucked. Each of Yoongi’s swollen segments stuffs him more and increases the pleasure. His prostate stopped being the only sensitive part as Yoongi’s leaking slit spreads his magical juice on his walls and turns them as sensitive as his prostate. Perhaps even more sensitive. Taehyung truly feels his textured cock everywhere and he swears he might never recover.

“Yoongi, I have to- I think I have to- to pee”, you finally get out, digging your nails into Taehyung’s back as you hold him close.

“Me too! Me too!” Taehyung screams into your shoulder, shaking uncontrollably. 

Yoongi merely growls and holds you tighter, forcing you and Taehyung to orgasm so hard that you piss yourselves. Yoongi shoots his heavy load up Taehyung’s ass from the sweet taste of your combined sexual energies, growling into your cunt demonically.

He knows from the way you and Taehyung writhe afterwards that his job is complete. You are pleased beyond repair. He lifts you and Taehyung off of him and carries you to the couch. He lies you down in a way so that your leaking holes would drip on the floor and not the cushions. You are both gaping, although Taehyung definitely takes the crown. The view pleases Yoongi a great deal. He did a good job.

“Breathe and hold each other until you feel better.” 

You and Taehyung cuddle each other, shivering in a good way. It feels so good to be with each other after such intense sex.

Yoongi pets your heads, using all four hands for it.

“You both did well.” 

He straightens up, crossing his four arms in front of his big chest. He snaps his fingers, making a table of food and water appear.

“Try to hydrate and eat something once you can move again. Talk about tonight, I heard it helps mortals bond.”

You and Taehyung mewl softly, drooling on each other. Yoongi studies the ruined states of you.

“I did good. I was thorough”, he says and nods his head, “my job here is done. I won’t ask you if you liked it because I know you did.” 

He turns his back to you and walks to the candle circle. 

“You will feel stronger and healthier in the days to come because I filled you with my nectar. Use it to fuck each other, it will feel better to you. Or don’t fuck and talk, mortals are so emotional how disgusting. Just fuck, seriously, it’s more fun.”

He steps inside the circle. 

“Yoongi”, you croak, eyes barely wanting to open. 

He looks over his shoulder, “yes, pretty girl?” 

“Can we see you again?” 

He smiles wickedly. The candles burn brightly, somewhere far away a bell tolls. His wicked smile grows. 

“In your dreams”, Yoongi hisses and disappears. 

You and Taehyung both know that this wasn’t meant as an insult, but a promise. You just made a deal with the fucking devil.

[hauntedrain]

Part 2: Unexpected | Max Verstappen x Fem Reader |

✮▹A/N: I hope you enjoy and sorry for not posting sooner! also this is kinda short so sorry about that, next one should be longer.

✰▹Warnings/Notices: NOT EDITED. also dont mind the dates on the tweets, It has nothing to do with the time line of the story. Terribly sorry if it doesn't make sense.

part 1: Here! Part 3 is posted <3

Twitch stream transcript!

Y/N: Uh hey guys! we have SERIOUS things to talk about.

Lorelei: Tu-tu-du-du, Max Verstappen...

Y/N: WHOS MAX VERSTAPPEN.

Theo: Okay calm down... we can explain.

Y/N: wait. he follows me on Instagram?

Lorelei: WHAT?

Y/N: LOOK HE DOES. CHAT WTF.

Lorelei: Chat is saying he saw a clip of the YouTube video

Y/N: ohhh, that's why everything went crazy...

Theo: wait do they have the clip of it?

Y/N: please no we don't need to watch that.

Lorelei: YES WE DO.

Y/N: No, because that's EMBARRASSING. Imagine If Robert Pattison or someone saw your tiktoks.

Lorelei: that's true.

Y/N: okay that makes more sense now.

Theo: I told you that you should get into F1. If you did you wouldn't have had this happen.

Lorelei: You know.. I wish Max Verstappen followed me.

Y/N: Apparently you're not cool enough then.

Lorelei: WHAT?

Liked by Max verstappen, TheoD, & 24,567,899 others

Y/N: The cat kinda looks like someone I know?

Click to view all 14,567,789 comments

User6: THE CAT LMFAO

↪ user7: Tbh it actually kinda looks like Max.

User8: I really hope they're talking cuz I really need to see Y/N in the paddock, worlds would collide.

↪ Y/N: I wanna drive the cars !

↪ MaxVerstappen: We could make that happen.

↪ Lorelei: IM SORRY WHAT?

↪Y/N: HAHAHA LOSER.

User9: kitty cat

User10: PLEASE SAY UR TALKING TO MAX PLEASE.

↪ user11: I mean its been a month or so at this point so yea they're probably talking.

Y/N has posted to their story!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ taglist: @holy-macncheese-balls @loloekie @cherry-piee @bloodyymaryyy @mangotaitai @the-untamed-soul @trouble-sistar @stinkyjax @minkyungseokie

Comment if you wanna be tagged <3

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: Okay I hope you liked this and it isnt to confusing, this story is kinda hard to format, but I still hope it makes sense. Thanks for the love. Love you guys <3

[anomalyaly]

The Nut Cracked

Summary: Sebastian Sallow doesn't understand muggle holiday traditions. But this one, he could get on top of.

OR, a spoof of 'The Nutcracker', but make it feral.

NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+. MINORS DNI.

AO3/Wattpad

3k words. Written for a NSFW discord server event: The Naughty List.

This is NOT canon to the 'Secrets' universe hahaha or is it

Tags: Explicit sexual content, objectophilia if you squint, seventh year, orgasm denial, Sebastian has blue balls and doesn't know how to handle it

Sebastian didn't understand muggle holiday traditions.

The brightly decorated Ravenclaw girl presented him with a small parcel that he had initially been excited to unwrap. But, as much as he loved seeing the look on Elsie's face as she handed it to him, he couldn't understand why, out of all the gifts she could have chosen, she had picked out an odd-looking wooden doll.

"It's a nutcracker!" She beamed. "My parents can never be bothered to figure out what to get me or my siblings, so they usually send us a whole slew of stuff."

"And...you saw an old man doll and it reminded you of me?" Sebastian turned it around in his hands questioningly. He tried his hardest to seem grateful, but truthfully, he was utterly confused.

She scoffed. "It's not an old man doll. It's a traditional gift that originated in Germany to ward off evil spirits and –"

"Evil spirits?" He laughed. "The only evil spirit we have to worry about during this time of year is Peeves."

"Well, if you don't want it –"

He abruptly yanked his arm away from her and held the wooden figure closer to himself. "I never said I didn't want it. I just think it could be more...appealing."

She tilted her head, her brows furrowed in confusion. "How so?"

Sebastian grinned slyly and picked up his wand, waving it in front of the nutcracker and transfiguring it to look like a girl with wavy, dark hair and freckles dusted along her nose and cheeks. He held it up proudly. "There. Much prettier to look at."

He was met with an eye roll as she stood from the couch and stretched. "If you say so."

Sebastian hadn't been particularly secretive about his feelings for Elsie in recent months. In fact, he thought he was being blatantly obvious, doing everything short of outright telling her due to her relationship status being a bit complicated. Even so, he did his best to hide his irritation every time she brushed off another one of his comments as a sarcastic quip.

It certainly hadn't helped that the other day, she had trudged back from another one of her adventures in the Highlands sopping wet from the snow, the already thin material of her blouse nearly transparent as it clung tightly to her form, her nipples peaked from the cold. He had spent half of the night restless, the other half with his hand wrapped around his cock every time the tantalizing image replayed itself in his mind.

The castle was nearly empty as the two of them spent Christmas at Hogwarts together, and all he could focus on was how frustrated he had felt.

"I should turn in for the night," Elsie sighed, glancing at the time. "I promised Lydia that we would still leave milk and cookies out for Father Christmas. She's very adamant about keeping to tradition."

Sebastian bit the inside of his cheek as he forced himself not to beg her to stay with him for the night. It wasn't like the prefects or professors cared to parade the halls during the holiday with so many students gone. But she likely didn't see him that way. His streak of terrible luck would have him falling for someone he couldn't have.

"Alright," he murmured, hiding the disappointment in his tone. He held up the wooden doll. "Thanks for the, uh...gift?"

She grinned. "Have no fear. We'll exchange our actual gifts tomorrow. But," she tapped the nutcracker's brunette head, "I suppose now, you'll have the nutcracker version of me to help keep you safe."

Sebastian's eyes followed the sway of her hips as she headed toward the gate of the Undercroft. He quickly averted them when she turned back to look at him. "Happy Christmas, Sebastian. See you tomorrow?"

He nodded. "Yeah, see you. Happy Christmas."

She gave him one last soft smile, and the gate clanged shut behind her. Sebastian sighed. Guess I ought to head back to my common room for the evening. He grabbed the tiny doll and sauntered back to his dorm, feeling even more tense than he had been hours before.

It was going to be a long two weeks.

~

Sebastian awoke the next morning, exhaustion creeping in. He needed to get control of his thoughts before he –

"Good morning!"

A light, feminine voice chirped at him from his bedside. The rest of the dorm room was noticeably empty — Sebastian assumed Ominis had left for breakfast early, not wanting to wait while he slept in.

It still didn't explain why Elsie was standing by his bed on Christmas morning. She would never sneak into the Slytherin common room without good reason, let alone his bedroom, even with how often he had teased and prodded her to spend time with him there.

He rubbed his face, his eyes still bleary. "Elsie? What are you –"

The words died in his throat once he finally took a proper look at her. She was smiling coyly at him, her raven hair free and cascading down her back. But what surprised him the most wasn't the expression on her face or the loose, dark strands that curled along her freckled, pink cheeks. It was what she was wearing.

Instead of a Christmas jumper, like she had promised she would have on, Elsie donned the bright red uniform reminiscent of the nutcracker she had gifted him the night prior. It was loose on her small form, barely hanging on to her shoulders, and short enough that it hardly covered the creamy skin of her thighs. He knew he should look away, or at least tell her that she was far too exposed for her liking.

"You're uh..." He cleared his throat. "What...what are you wearing?"

"Oh, this?" She playfully slid the top further down her shoulders. His hungry gaze followed the line down her collarbone and towards the curve of her breasts.

This wasn't like Elsie at all. The girl he knew wouldn't have been dressed like this in his presence, especially because they hadn't so much as kissed yet. She would be flustered, finding anything she could to cover herself up, and likely avoiding him afterward for days out of sheer humiliation.

"Why so shy?" She asked. It was definitely her voice but with a sultry tone. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

Sebastian swallowed. How could she have known that? "W-what do you mean?"

Elsie shrugged. "You made me. I heard your wish, and I'm here to grant it."

He blinked. Made?! "If this is some sort of muggle holiday prank, Elsie, it's really not funny."

She chuckled and sat next to him on the bed, draping an arm over his bare chest, and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "It's not. I'm your nutcracker, silly."

Oh. Oh.

The nutcracker he had mindlessly transfigured last night to look like Elsie had somehow become sentient. And now, Elsie, or at least a perfect copy of her, was practically on top of him, half-naked and promiscuously alluring. It was something he had only dreamed about in the darkest hours of the night, alone in his bed with a silencing charm cast over him.

His thoughts were racing wildly as he drank in the sight of her. She was close enough now and leaning in at just the right angle that he could see entirely down her top, and his breath caught in his throat as he realized that, underneath, she was completely bare. He shifted on the bed as he felt his erection press tightly against his pajama bottoms, quickly losing any scrap of restraint he had left, which hadn't been much to begin with. This was wrong, wasn't it? He couldn't deny how badly he had wanted this – wanted it for months now.

Moments later, her lips and tongue were tracing a hot trail of kisses along his neck, and as she lightly grazed his pulse point with her teeth, the last thread of his control snapped.

In one swift move, he took her face in his hands and fiercely captured her lips with his own, the sensation nearly enough to send him over the edge. Months of pining - of gentle, innocent touches and cuddles that the real Elsie had naively passed off as what two good friends would share - had made him ache with need.

For an imitation, the nutcracker-Elsie felt wonderfully authentic.

His fingers snaked in her hair and tugged lightly, eliciting a soft moan from her that had him shivering. Realistically, had it been their true first experience together, he would have wanted to savor every moment, taking his time as he mapped out every sensitive plane and curve of her body that would make her writhe with pleasure underneath his touch.

But, since this was his Christmas wish, he was going to be self-indulgent and take exactly what he wanted, just as he had imagined doing for so long.

A soft brush of her hand against his very hard and throbbing erection nearly sent him into a frenzy, and he let out a mewl so pathetic he would have been embarrassed had he not felt so ridiculously desperate. His hands scrambled to tear the baggy nutcracker uniform off of her, and as he ran his hand along her inner thigh and traced his fingers along her core, he realized without a doubt that she was soaking. For him.

Happy fucking Christmas to me.

Sebastian groaned as he practically dragged her into his bed and flipped her onto her back. His body vibrated with anticipation when her fingers tugged at his pajama bottoms and yanked them down abruptly. His cock sprang free, already aching with desire, and he melted into a moaning mess when she wrapped her silken hand around him and stroked.

"F-fuck...so good, Elsie —" The way she held him, so expertly gentle and firm at the same time, was better than even his wildest imaginations could conjure. His hips bucked into her touch while he stared down at her through hooded lids, understanding that he needed to take every second to memorize her body in case he never had an opportunity like this again.

Her face was flushed, the smattering of freckles along her nose and cheeks standing out, just the way he liked to see them — one of the reasons he would purposely try to make her blush. His hands followed his gaze as it traveled further down, past her parted pink lips and onto her voluptuous breasts, and he couldn't help but lean forward and take one of her pert nipples into his mouth.

Elsie's sighs and moans as he swirled his tongue around it were music to his ears. He reached out with one hand to cup her other breast while his other slid between her legs once more and lightly circled her clit with his thumb while he pumped two fingers inside of her. The sounds she emitted were delightfully sinful, and he decided that he didn't want to wait any longer. He had waited long enough, trying his damndest to be a gentleman all this time and letting the real Elsie take whatever their relationship was at her own pace.

He had earned this. It was bloody Christmas, and she was his present, and he fucking deserved it.

Sebastian slotted himself between her thighs and pulled back to look at her again. The unbridled need on her face mirrored his own, and he momentarily wondered if he should have spent more time making sure she was ready for him before taking her. After all, if it were the real Elsie, he would have made sure she felt good and reached her release many, many times before he had even attempted to fuck her.

All reason and logic flew out of his brain as he fitted the sensitive head of his cock at her entrance, her slick coating him completely. The needy cry that she let out at the feel of him was all the encouragement he needed to know that she was as desperate for him as he was for her.

"S-Sebastian," she moaned, the sound so erotic he hadn't thought it possible for it to have come from her. "Please — please fuck me. I — need...inside me — please."

Elsie begging. As if he couldn't come undone anymore.

"Anything for you, Princess."

With one abrupt motion, he pushed his hips flush against hers, sliding inside her easily and simultaneously letting out a disgustingly pitiful whimper. He was internally grateful that Ominis had decided to go to breakfast early — he would never have let him live down the sheer humiliation of the chorus of wanting coming from his lips.

Though the doll had been made of wood only moments before, the tight heat of her cunt felt very, very real. It was her body, her silken skin under his fingers, her normally elegant hair mussed and tangled against his bedsheets, and, best of all, her voice crying out his name as he fucked her relentlessly.

"S-Sebastian! Don't — don't stop!"

The high-pitched squeals she refused to hold back egged him on further as he roughly snapped his hips against hers, releasing a low growl as her legs wrapped tightly around him and pulled him deeper into her. The heady scent of her filled his nostrils — the distinct smell of vanilla and jasmine that had so often intoxicated him now enveloped him, and he tucked his head into the crook of her neck to allow himself to be consumed by it.

"Fuck, Elsie. I'm so fucking close."

It was happening too quickly, his release approaching dangerously faster than he would have preferred had this been the real Elsie. He teetered on the precipice of wanting to slow down and make it last longer, to enjoy every sound and feel of her as much as possible, or rewarding himself with what he had been dying to have for so long.

Fuck it — it was Christmas.

She dug her fingernails into his back and muttered a terrifyingly incoherent string of expletives in his ear, but somewhere within them, she was encouraging him to let go.

He was right there, so bloody close now — only a few more thrusts as he selfishly chased down the reality that she was finally, finally his.

"Sebastian!" Yes. Say my name again.

"Sebastian, please!" Just like that, almost there —

"Sebastian, wake up!"

Sebastian's eyes flew open as he sat up abruptly, blinking furiously in an attempt to gather where exactly he was.

Elsie, fully clothed in a Christmas jumper and trousers, her hair in its normal, elegant plait, stared at him from the side of the Undercroft couch, her brows furrowed in concern.

"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly, and her hand softly stroking his arm was almost enough to drag another pathetic groan from his throat. "You were making all these noises in your sleep. It sounded like you were having a nightmare."

Sebastian rubbed his face as reality came crashing down on him like a bucket of ice water. He had been too tired to head back to his common room last night and had fallen asleep in the Undercroft after Elsie had left.

As if to confirm his misfortune, the nutcracker she had gifted him was gingerly tucked under the crook of his arm, still transfigured to look like the girl who currently stood in front of him eyeing him curiously.

He would have laughed at the idea that she referred to his wet dream as a goddamn nightmare had he not still been so fucking hard, left to wrestle with the infuriating ache of incompletion.

Sebastian cleared his throat and muttered a thank Merlin to his last night's self that he had thought to cover himself with a blanket, lest she be subjected to his current state when she had only been trying to check on him and make sure he was okay.

"Uh, yeah. A nightmare," he grumbled, lowering his gaze to hide the heat that was beginning to creep up his neck and along his cheeks. "That's all. M'fine now."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically, and he knew she had good reasons to wonder if he was telling the truth — especially considering he could barely look at her. Not without imagining all of the unholy acts that his dream self had been moments away from —

"I guess the nutcracker didn't help ward off the evil spirits after all," she teased.

The nutcracker. His face reddened further at the memory of Elsie's desperate cries that would forever be branded into his memory.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She reached out to brush her hand along his forehead. "You're looking a bit flushed –"

He smacked her hand away, one touch further from losing himself right in front of her. "I-I'm fine! Just...got a bit warm down here, is all."

It was a blatantly obvious lie, considering he had slept in the Undercroft, which was always perpetually cold. Thankfully, she didn't question him further.

"Well, if you're alright, then get up soon," Elsie said, interrupting his immensely impure thoughts as she turned on her heel to leave. "Ominis is meeting with us outside the Great Hall to exchange gifts." She wagged a finger at him in mock warning, the sly smile on her face reminding him all too much of his dream, and he suppressed another shudder. "And don't be late. A bad back from sleeping on the couch is not a good enough excuse to miss Christmas."

He only offered a curt nod in response.

When the sounds of her footsteps receded, Sebastian flopped back on the couch, once again left alone with his miserable frustrations. The 'Elsie' nutcracker still lay on the couch next to him as if to taunt him, reminding him of what he had been so close to enjoying and what he could never have. He angrily batted it to the floor before grabbing one of the cushions, bringing it to his face, and smothering a mortified, unending scream.

Happy fucking Christmas to me.

[juanbodyswapstfs]

Being my Uncle John.

Every year, On the 1st day of the six month, 2 males in Jacks family switch bodies for a month. Unfortunate for Jack, he is a male. But fortunate enough for him, he has never been switched, but this year would be different.

1 day before.

“Aw cmon bud its not that bad.” “You have never been switched before anyways.” said my Dad. “I know but what if this year is different?” I said. “Like I said, Its not that bad.” “Unless your luck runs out and you get switched for many years in a row like your Uncle mark.” “But that’ll never happen ha.” said my dad with a unsure tone. “Yeah I guess your right.” “How have you switched with before dad?” I said. “Oh I switched many times haha, With your uncle Mark, your uncle Tom, and even your grandpa Joe! hahaha.” “But for some reason your uncle John has never switched, lucky son of a bastard.” Im really hoping I don’t get switced but something inside of me wants me too. Just the thought of being a real man, just feels so right. Now its time to go to Bed and wake up as myself or even one of my uncles, I really hope I switch with one of my Uncles it just feels right.

The next day,

As I woke up, I knew something wasn’t right, it felt like my cock and everything else has doubled in size, I mean WOW, this cock is really huge! I mean i like girls and all but im way more attracted to men. I stood up on the side of the bed and just admired the manly body im in, as i looked closer I realized im in the body of my uncle John, which has also never been switched.

I was having fun being in this big body, but then I realized im gonna have to be John, he has a life, job, and even husband! good thing his husband is on a business trip and gets back on the day we switch back. I decided to call my “nephew”. “Yo how ya doing bud?” I said with a grin. “Im doing great Uncle John!” “How do you like being a man?” said Uncle John. “Amazing, how do you like being a teenager again?” I said. “Ha you are exactly how I was when I was a teenager.” Uncle John said. “Ok now lets get serious, how do I become you?” I said. “Ok first thing off, I have a job at the gym as a trainer, they should know what to do just hype them up.” “My husband is on a business trip so he shouldn’t be a problem, pretty easy right?” Uncle John said. “Yeah not so bad after all.” I then tell Uncle John how to pass as me and we eventually hang up. I now got dressed and jerked off before I headed to the Gym. It was amazing how much this body can come and how big my balls are now.

At the Gym I got greeted by some muscular men, which I tried to hide my boner from. Turns out I was pretty good as a trainer, It was like I’ve been doing this my whole life! After my shift, I decided to go take a sneak peek at the locker room, I mean just a peak right? Then I saw a guy with his package out and couldn’t help get cum a little. I mean, if John didn’t have a husband I would totally help him out. I then headed home and took a hot warm bath and played with my cock. I then went to bed. It’s pretty fun being uncle John I wish I could be him forever.

The next day,

Its now the next day and I woke up with a huge morning wood. It was the weekend which means I didn’t have to go to work and had the whole day to myself! But then I got a call from my husband, “Hey John, im coming back early in the afternoon can we have some.. alone time?” said my husband Joseph. “Of course my love, anything for you.” I said. “How is your families swap going? Do you know who switched?” Joseph said. “Uh no actually.” I said. “Okay well get ready for when I come back!” “definitely” I said then hanged up. I know how bad it seems lying but I just wanna feel how this body would be during sex.

In the afternoon,

As I was getting ready for uncle Johns husband to come back I got a call from uncle John, “Hey “Uncle John” is Joseph coming from home from his trip early?” Said Uncle john. “No he hasn’t called me or anything why?” I said lying. “Just wondering, If he is, please don’t do anything with him please.” Uncle John said. “Gotcha nephew.” I said and then hanged up. I felt bad lying to Uncle John but I just wanna experience getting fucked in this big manly body. An hour later Joseph knocked on the door and greeted me. “Hey babe, I’ve missed you and your big manly ass.” Joseph said. “I missed you too and that big monster.” I said. I knew it was wrong what I was doing but it was natural for some reason. Joseph then proceeds to take of his shoes and puts his feet on the coffee table. “Babe you know what to do.”Joseph said in a stern voice. “Oh yes master.” I said obeying his orders. I get down on my knees and lick his big manly feet.

He then proceeded to Unbuckle his pants.

“Now suck my cock boy.” “Yes sir.” I started sucking my “husbands” cock and loved the feeling. I loved being commanded by a big man and obeying him, I could do this forever.

“Now roll over and let me fuck your ass.” He then fucked my ass and I could feel the hot cum. “Good boy, Now continue to lick my feet and my armpits.”

We continued for about 18 minutes, I really did love him and could live happily with him forever. If only I could stay in this body forever. Joseph then left the store and Uncle John called me. “Hey uncle the switch is almost over, and be honest, did you jerk off or have sex in my body its important beca-” “I jerked off in your body and had sex with your husband im sorry I didn’t mean to.” I said regretting everything I have done. “YOU DID WHAT. NOW WE CANT SWITCH BACK.” Said my nephew angrily. But then I realized that this means my “uncle” is now my nephew, so I had more authority over him and he should obey me. “I don’t know who your talking to young man, but that is not a way to talk to your uncle John.” “The closest thing you get to this body is me fucking your teenager ass.” I said with a stern voice. I then hanged up and jerked off to the fact that im now John. I admired every inch of my body until Joseph came back. When he comes back im not gonna be the servant, Im gonna fuck his ass and command him to suck my dick.

[marnerparty]

stupid islander

Mat Barzal x Crosby!reader platonic!Trevor Zegras x Crosby!reader platonic!Jamie Drysdale x Crosby!reader

yncrosby

Liked by barzal97, jakenbake20 and 17,992 others

yncrosby love watching this loser with these losers (don’t ask about the ring) (but someone please tell the old man to get instagram)

Tagged trevorzegras and jamie.drysdale

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jamie.drysdale I don’t even know about the ring

yncrosby I’ll tell you later

alexnylander we’ve been trying to tell him. never works

yncrosby he’s so stubborn

user1 crosby siblings > anyone else

tysmith_6 I think you should give it up

yncrosby ty how could you

kletang_58 best sister award goes to yn

yncrosby damn right

user2 anyone notice mat barzal liked?

yncrosby who?

barzal97 ouch

trevorzegras does the kid like me again

yncrosby not sure Trev. not sure

trevorzegras wow thanks for the reassurance yn

yncrosby 🫶🏻

penguins what a game tonight!

ny_islanders just wait for Wednesday 😈

tysmith_6 first mat, now the islanders?

trevorzegras 🤨

jamie.drysdale care to explain?

yncrosby it was one date

barzal97 oh yeah?

tysmith_6 get out of here

alexnylander I’m telling Sid

barzal97 shit

yncrosby

Liked by mitchmarner, user2, and 21,544 others

yncrosby this barzal guy kept getting in the way of all of my pictures. asshole

Tagged barzal97

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barzal97 right because your camera definitely wasn’t looking for me

yncrosby watch it 13

barzal97 ok babe, I see how it is

tysmith_6 hahaha, babe? thought it was one date

yncrosby 1 date … 2 dates … 7 dates, I don’t really know

alexnylander 7!? WITH THE ENEMY!?

yncrosby yours not mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

user1 probably using him for money

barzal97 other way around tbh

alexnylander just showed this to Sid and he says, and I quote “my sister will not downgrade her last name, he can become a Crosby”

yncrosby Sid acting like he didn’t know

barzal97 did he know?????

yncrosby of course, he’s my brother

barzal97 babe he’s gonna beat me up what the hell

jamie.drysdale who knew barzal was whiney

yncrosby me. I knew.

trevorzegras why do I not hate this

yncrosby and this trev is why you’ve always been my favorite 🫶🏻

user2 I bet she’s the best girlfriend

penguins but yn, think about the rivalry🤦🏼‍♀️

tysmith_6 damn these penguins moderators really enjoy the drama

barzal97

Liked by yncrosby, nhl and 54,880 others

barzal97 God I love this girl

Tagged yncrosby

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yncrosby love you most matty ❤️

barzal97 impossible love

jamie.drysdale 🤢

trevorzegras jamie get tf out

jamie.drysdale you’re on HER side!?

trevorzegras uh, yeah. made that very clear

alexnylander thank god Sid can’t see this

yncrosby oh stop

user1 I hate this

trevorzegras hey that’s my kitchen

barzal97 it’s a good kitchen

tysmith_6 can we keep it pg?

yncrosby we literally kissed?

tysmith_6 too much for the kids (jamie)

jamie.drysdale rude

yncrosby oh we love you jim jam 🫶🏻

user2 yn’s nicknames >>>>>

Liked by yncrosby

yncrosby

Liked by trevorzegras, user1 and 22,448 others

yncrosby someone tell me this wasn’t a bad idea. I just can’t say no to him 🤦🏼‍♀️

Tagged barzal97

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barzal97 don’t even pretend you didn’t want him too

yncrosby I did! but I don’t think it was smart!

barzal97 but who cares! we have a son!

alexnylander mmmm not quite

trevorzegras IM COMING OVER TO SEE MY NEPHEW

yncrosby OKAY

alexnylander what does Sid think?

barzal97 he’s literally here playing with him

kletang_58 Barzal has balls when he knows Sid can’t see this eh?

yncrosby back it up kristopher

jamie.drysdale now I can’t hate Mat

yncrosby because of the puppy?

jamie.drysdale yes! he made me an uncle

barzal97 hey whatever works

user1 does this puppy have a name??

yncrosby Captain!

nhl welcome the newest Penguins/Islanders fan!

Liked by barzal97

tysmith_6 dang this is getting serious

yncrosby as a heart attack

yncrosby

Liked by jamie.drysdale, ty_smith6 and 22,499 others

yncrosby happy one year to my literal heart and soul. I love you forever Mathew ❤️

Tagged barzal97

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[earlycuntsets]

the time gerard cut his balls trying to shave the stench from his body

interviewer: alright you ready? i heard someone in your band cut themselves while shaving their balls. is this true?

frank iero: hahaha that is completely true. (completely true)

interviewer: who was it? it

frank iero: wahahaha oh man. heh uh I guess he's not like whatever about it because he told the story on stage but. alright well, we were on tour one time and uh gerard was like in the bathroom for a long ass time somebody brought up the fact that when you're on tour yknow it's like.. when you're on tour and you haven't showered in a month yknow? or like gerard doesn't shower at all. hardly. he really stinks. and the hair on your nuts it's like- really keeps the smell in yknow so he figured like if he got rid of the hair, yknow he might cut down on some of the reeking uh so he had like a buzzer and he shaved himself and I guess he cut some- his balls and it just started bleeding everywhere

interviewer: this is terrible man

frank iero: what's that?

interviewer: this is a terrible question i'm gonna go to the next one

frank iero: alright

interviewer: thank you for telling us that though, revealing private information

frank iero: hey it's not my thing

interviewer: it's not your balls

audio from spaceyraygun on youtube! spacey was a fan when the band was just getting started. check out their about! their audio was used in some official mcr stuff.x

[jazeswhbhaven]

OC x Noble Headcanons: Astra Meets Amy Part II

The meeting hasn't started yet at all due to the bickering of Sitri and Amy. Finally, Satan intervenes enjoying the banter as always trying to get them to play nice and hug each other. It doesn't go well.

Satan: Hahaha look at you two, lively as ever.

Sitri and Amy are on top of each other on the floor as the rest of the group watches intently. Astra peeks over Satan's shoulder.

Astra: How about getting a room you two?

Amy: *turns red* Stop saying things like that! I hate this guy!!

Sitri: *shoves him off and brushes his clothes* The feeling is very mutual. I wonder why we even wait for him to attend these meetings at all.

Satan: It's important.

Astra: Satan, you just like seeing them fight.

Satan: ....hehe

Astra: It can't be healthy for someone like Sitri though...I think you torture him too much.

Sitri: Oh, Solomon thank you for caring about me *beams and clasps his hands together as Amy spits in his direction*

Astra: I'll fight for you instead, Sitri! Watch me... *squats in front of Amy* Hey you...think you're tough shit? Catch me outside after the meeting and I'll hand your ass to you.

Amy: ??? I....uh...

Astra: What? Can't talk your shit now? Who's a bitch ass loser now? Square up. *gets up and balls up her fists*

Amy: What's happening right now?

Astra: I'm going to fight you, get up and show me what you got! Punk ass hoe.

Amy: ????!!! I...I won't.... *looks away*

Astra: *looks down at him and notices he crossed his legs* Eh? Are you getting turned on?

Paimon: Ohhhhhhh Miss Astraaaa it looks like Amy is turned on by you insulting himmmm. Especially in front of usss.

Astaroth: This is amusing...keep going.

Leraye: No one is going to let him actually hit Miss Astra right?

Zagan: ......

Ppyong: sir Zagan says that will protect Miss Astra, aye!

Satan: Astra...get over here.

Astra: Why? Sitri needs a break, I can take him.

Satan: Astra.... *crunches his teeth*

Astra: Fine...I'll stop.

Sitri: That's disgusting of you. Control your body around Solomon you monkey.

Amy: Fuck you...*stands up and turns to Satan apologetically* Please excuse me, your Majesty...I need a few minutes to calm myself down. I'll be back.

Paimon: Oooooo are you gonna go jack off? You probably shouldddd cause I can still see your printtt <3

Sitri: Honestly Paimon, don't encourage him. I'm going to have to wash my eyes and ears out so deeply so it can reach my brain.

Amy: *flips off Sitri and leaves the room grumbling with a reddened face*

Satan: Astra, don't do that anymore.

Astra: Amy's fun to play with, getting flustered over the silliest of things.

Satan: *the veins in his neck appear* Sitri, only fight with Amy from now on during the meetings.

Sitri: Yes, your majesty. He's exhausting but at least it's better than him being near Solomon.

Astra: You're no fun boo bear. *bites his cheek*

Satan: Not here. Later~

Everyone else pretends to not notice Satan nuzzling Astra, as Sitri continues setting up the table for the meeting. Amy did eventually return, and it seems he had just showered again indicating events that may or may not have taken place.

[tobiasdrake]

I've been loving your talks over the different dynamics between the various cast members of Dragonball and am kinda surprised no one's asked this one yet and you only really gave it a brief mention.

I would like to hear about Goku and Krillin's dynamic. They're the two I love seeing interact the most together and would love to see your takes and analysis.

Goku loves Krillin. Krillin is up there with Bulma, Chi-Chi, and Gohan in the category of Most Important People to him.

(No snubbing intended towards Goten; It's just that we've never gotten to see Goku and Goten spend any amount of time together, like, at all. We have no idea what their relationship is.)

It's honestly surprising how tight Goku and Krillin's bond is despite how little time they've ever spent with one another.

Although they started out, uh... rocky....

But that only lasted like a day. By the time their training started, it was water under the bridge.

I cannot in good conscience call Goku and Krillin inseparable because they separate for years at a time. That's how Goku is; He goes off on his own and does his own thing, only rarely checking in with his friends. This training session only lasted eight months, and then Krillin didn't see Goku for three years (save for the General Blue mini-arc of RRA.)

But when they are together, they're practically brothers - Even helping each other strategize during the Tenkaichi Budokai.

As an aside, I love the fact that not only is Krillin canonically noseless, it's not just art style, but also he hallucinates smells to compensate. Krillin imagines he's smelling whatever he thinks he should be smelling.

Wonder if he's ever made any bad assumptions?

In any case, the tactical advice isn't one-way either. Krillin helped Goku workshop his match with Tenshinhan too.

Goku was able to solve the Taiyoken/Solar Flare because, in every tournament, he's always got Krillin at his side to talk things over with and discuss the match. At every tournament, Yamcha's the guy who knows all the martial arts lore:

While Krillin is Goku's bestie and sounding board, cheering each other on from backstage and discussing what they're seeing in other matches.

It should be noted that Yamcha's a bro too, he just doesn't get the screentime that Krillin does. He's out of the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai almost as quickly as it begins, in a way that doesn't let him hang around post-defeat and keep chilling with the others.

He also dies very early in the Saiyan battle so he doesn't get to stick around for the Vegeta dogpile, and then consequently misses the boat on Namek. So his relationship to Goku and Krillin doesn't get to be explored in nearly as much detail as Krillin's relationship to Goku.

Meanwhile, Goku and Krillin's tight bond of mutual respect and trust has saved the world.

It has also endangered the world.

Don't mind him, that's just Krillin over there supporting what he strongly believes to be an apocalyptic mistake because he loves and respects Goku enough to back him up even when he's wrong. Krillin has to make a choice between Goku's desire to fight Vegeta again and win next time, versus the fate of the Earth. He chooses Goku.

Though it did ultimately work out for the best.

In fact, this was his, Gohan's, and Goku's victory together right down to the wire. It was Goku who made Gohan an Oozaru.

But it was Krillin who made it work, by re-evaluating what he knew about the Oozaru and incorporating Saiyan psychology.

Hahaha it turns out Oozarus have been intelligent all along. It's just that transforming fills them with hyper-violent Saiyan aggression. Wonder if that's going to come up with any other transformations in the future?

Krillin, Goku, and Gohan all earned this victory together. And then Krillin and Goku chose to endanger the Earth for Goku's self-interest together.

Though it did ultimately work out for the best. In part because of Krillin's own machinations.

Dragon Ball is very much a protagonist-centric series. It's the story of Son Goku, even when it briefly tries to be the story of Son Gohan. And so what Krillin means to Goku extends outwards to what Krillin means to Dragon Ball as a whole.

And what Krillin means to Goku (and what Goku means to Krillin) is a lot.

Their relationship flourishes onscreen any time they're together. There's never any doubt that these two can rely on one another to have each other's back.

It's Krillin who even makes the plan to go to Namek in the first place.

It's Krillin whose mind Goku consults for guidance and a recap of what happened on Namek.

And it's Krillin who lights the spark of Goku's ascension.

Of all the humans, Krillin is easily the most important. The one with the most screentime, narrative focus, and examination of his relationship with Goku - A relationship that is depicted, every time it's onscreen, as a powerful bond of respect, teamwork, and love for one another.

Goku comes back to life after seven years of absence and Gohan is the first to jump him, followed by Krillin and then Chi-Chi. Goku's first order of business is meeting his son.

Followed immediately by interrogating Krillin on his family life.

This is just. This is what their relationship is. It honestly doesn't even feel like there's a lot that can even be said about them, because their relationship barely changes or grows in any way; It simply is. A bond of brotherhood carved in stone from very early in the series, that never wavers in its course.

[solargeist]

Hey uh

I just wanted to come here cause- i feel,guilty i guess?-

I've been camping in your blog for some days and i think i've just internelised your lore for some reason.

I have some sort of oc in the ask-hermit comunity here in tumblr and he is related to the Speakers.

But y'know that post of yours/anons about how Grian grew his wings? That part. Yep. Its just real for the oc and i just realised now. I'll cut it out and have some decency to stop internalising people lore.

I just really felt kind of bad for doing it,even if not posting or anything,just using for rp. I didn't mean to and just want you to know your blog is amazing

Sorry

- @aurum-the-yapper

Hey hey hey don’t worry abt it !!!! I didn’t come up with Grian growing wings exactly—There’s plenty of stories abt characters growing wings, I don’t own that concept, like, I got the idea originally from an anime called Haibane Renmei.

Every single writer and artist takes inspiration from other people, this is normal, everyone Frankensteins their art—whether they mean to or not. Look at what Dragon Ball has inspired across media !! Where would we be without Goku ……

So, don’t worry abt cutting anything out or anything ! I don’t mind hahaha

(Of course—if someone was just coping exactly what I do with Grian I’d feel a little odd—but it’d have to be every single detail lol—but pieces like—Growing wings, or the Watchers being parents or even nuns, I don’t mind, i don’t think they’re super unique ideas so I wouldn’t assume ppl copy anyway, they’re supported by canon ^_^ also if anything’s in private RP, I won’t know lol so I don’t care particularly !)

[prince-liest]

which hazbin hotel character do you think youre most similar to or share a common trait with ! and alternatively which one would annoy you if you ever met them haha (p.s. : thrilled to be apart of ur show <3)

-🦌

I don't think there are any characters that I'm genuinely similar to, but I think the character with the most specific traits that personally resonate with me is probably Alastor! Which sounds edgy as fuck to say, haha, but the key points I relate to are:

We really don't get many characters in popular media that are aro/ace and I really appreciate that he is. I actually think fandom and media are pretty alright at handling ace characters appropriately, but aromanticism is a whole nother ball game that gets shoved aside way more often and the one that I find meaningful. I particularly appreciate that he's an aro/ace character whose main point of internal conflict (I think) getting set up to be nonetheless centered around the relationships he's developed with people.

He's a prideful fuck that genuinely struggles with his pride, and I find that very relatable! I'm miles ahead of him, hahaha, but if I went to hell and resigned myself to being the worst version of myself, Pride would definitely be my sin.

Just. Constantly masking. Lol. Plus the occasional blending of "what's a mask and what's a genuine belief and what's both."

Overall, I'm comfortable and happy with who I am most of the time, so a lot of the points I find relatable among this cast of maladjusted characters trapped in hell are, like, "Oh! If high school me took the path of evil instead!" type of stuff, haha.

Also, if I met Sera in real life, I would find her absolutely insufferable as a person from head to toe. Feeling sorry for yourself for making the terribly difficult choice of avoiding inconvenience by perpetuating massive cruelty is, uh, deeply unsympathetic to me!

[infectiouspiss]

Frank talking about the time Gerard cut his balls while shaving them (in an attempt to be less stinky)

transcript under the cut

Interviewer: I heard that someone in your band cut themselves shaving their balls, is this true?

Frank: Hahaha, that is completely true!

Interviewer: Who was it?

Frank: Ahaha, it was- oh man. I guess he's gotta be like whatever about it, 'cause like, he told the story on stage, but uh, we were on tour one time and uh, Gerard was like, in the bathroom for like, a long ass time. And somebody brought up the fact that y'know, like, when you're on tour and you haven't showered in like a month, y'know? Or like, Gerard doesn't shower at all, hardly, when you really think. But like, the hair on your nuts, it like, really keeps the smell in, y'know? So he figured like, if he got rid of the hair, y'know, he might cut down on some of the reeking? But he had like, a buzzer and he shaved himself and I guess he like, clipped his balls and they just started bleeding everywhere haha!

[ryoko1232]

Here's a wip that has more words

Friends

Ships - intrulogical

Status - chap 1 on a forgotten series

Logan and Remus r friends?

“Ugh! everything got sooo boring once Logan told them how to deal with me!” Remus was walking around the imagination. Who care if he’s talking out loud, there's no one here, or so he thought. He decided he wanted a peak at Roman’s side and went to the border, when he saw Logan. Remus noticed how close Logan’s face was to some sorta mold. ‘This is the perfect time for my revenge!’ Remus summoned some salt and threw it at the mold, causing it to explode while he laughs.

“Oh my god! you should've seen your face, HAHAHA!” he cackled as Logan just stared at him. “wha?-” before Logan could ask anything, Remus explained “That thing hates salt, it’s their natural enemy” Remus was still laughing. “Fascinating” Logan got up, writing something down while Remus was surprised he didn’t get scolded for once. “Uh yeah… I know other cool things it can do!” Remus said while Logan was still examining the mold. ‘why am I trying to get his attention? I should be getting my revenge!’ Remus looked around before Logan spoke, “it would be nice to look at this in a lab, though I highly doubt you have one, or at least an appropriate one. I’ll just take some and study it in my room”. “What? Oh! I can make a lab, I know what's in one, so It's easy for me to just create one!” Remus said, he already regretted opening his mouth, “really? Am I being tricked? I mean, sure, go ahead! But i wont allow you to do anything to me” Logan said.

Remus cleared a path so no thorns or bear traps would hurt them while they walked. Remus led him to an open area, there was blood, and withered flowers around, and with a flick of his wrist, there was a building now too. They played around with the mold, and Logan would write down their findings, it was actually quite fun.” I should get going, I’ve been here for an hour” Logan pointed out, which surprised Remus, it’s been a while since someone willingly spent more than 30 minutes with him. “uh- you know the way back to the door?” Remus asked, “obviously not your's, I’ll go through Roman’s, I memorized the path from here to the border” Logan stated. “I could show you the way to my door” Remus said, in an attempt to spend more time with him, “No thank you, I know your door leads to the dark common room” Logan left after saying that. But, something about how he said that just left a sting on Remus

Remus doesn’t know why, but that memory just popped up in his mind. Maybe it was the fact that Janus lied about coming, or the fact that Logan, who know little to nothing about him, spent more time with him willingly then his own best friend. Either way, he wanted Logan attention again, “there's lots of weird fungi around here… maybe we could experiment with it!” Remus said to himself, he went out to locate all the fungi or mold he could find. He thinks fungi and mold are the same thing incase your wondering, Logan tried clearing that up but Remus has yet to grasp the idea.

“You want to hang out again?” Logan asked, “I mean sure…?” he said, still unsure if this was some kind of joke. Remus took his hand and teleported him to the imagination, and led him back to the lab, sure enough, there was a wall of fungi and mold. Logan started with organizing it as there was no system, “Ya really don’t gotta do that, plus what's this system?” Remus said, “it's the number of sprouts you got, once we’ve dealt with all of them I’ll reorganize them from most to least dangerous.” Logan responded.

They went through about 8 of them, Logan writing all of their results on a notebook he found in the lab. He named most of them, except for one Remus wanted to call ‘Dick balls’, you can imagine how that one looked. it took them around 3 and a half hours before Logan’s phone rung, it was his alarm. “Oh! I have to go and help Patton with something” Logan said already leaving, “oh uh okay-” was all Remus was able to say before Logan left, closing the door behind him, “bye…” he sighed as he placed the fungi back to its spot.

Remus never understood why everyone didn’t want to hang out with him, so what if he was a little violent, it gave him spice! Still, no one gives him the time of day! Who wouldn't wanna have blood one their hands? Thats fun! They were all just pussies, and idiots. Janus suddenly appeared, “Jan!” Remus said with twice the excitement Janus had for him. “Yes, hello dear” He looked around. “OMG it's been sooo long! Let's go-” Janus cut him off, “not right now dearie, I’m just seeing id I've left something of mine here” silence for a few moments after the deceitful saide said that. “Why do you barely hang out with me!” Remus pouted, “My schedule has just been busier after the lights accepted me” lie, he was looking for a game he had lend to Remus so he could play it alone.

“Fine, I don't care, I've found a replacement!” Remus smirked, “A replacement, sweetie?” Janus laughed. He knew Remus was lonely, but this made him feel a bit guilty, he knows he shouldn't risk his own mental health over others, but if Remus was summoning creatures to replace him. “Yep! Logan!” Janus froze, “Logan?” Why… what would Logan want to do with Remus? This won't end well, Janus can feel it.

[song-writer-melo-wrath]

Fuck it we ball. “The Heartsong” Athmoth screenshots + drawings I've made including them so far. One of the few (FEW) gripes I have with the character customization is you can't flip the hair. So I pulled a “fine, I'll do it myself” in all my drawings of them lmao

[More spoiler-y screenshots n drawings below the cut]

Half-illithid shenanigans go kind of insane. Especially with, uh. Certain possibilities.

I call this the “walking around with attractive people who have pale hair” saga.

[PROLONGED EYE CONTACT (PROLONGED EYE CONTACT)]

Emperor shenanigans. Love the colour palette of all its cutscenes.

For backstory reasons, Athmoth feels an almost irresistible urge to play on any piano they come across.

[walks into Cazador's palace] “Oh. This is a gilded cage of a place.” [Plays the Power to ignite the feeling of hope born in a place of horror] (Seriously one of my favourite moments of this play through)

I've reached the image limit, haha. But I thought this might be a fun post to put together, just to give some insight on one of my Tavs for this game.

In case it wasn't obvious, Athmoth here is paired with Astarion. I've considered calling the pairing starsong. My more joking ship name for them is “Double A Battery” hahaha-

Anyway. [disappears into the ether]