#but uh yeah let me know what you think
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Thus far, we haven’t strayed outside the (relatively) safe enclave of Port Promise. There’s always the possibility of running into trouble on the road when traveling, especially heading into any previously more densely populated areas—y’know, like residential neighborhoods.
But Cherry’s right, you can’t find everything in a dumpster. (Mostly just a lot of bikes. And loose beakers of fabric dye. Soooo much fabric dye.)
So, what’s a post-apocalyptic scavenger to do? We can’t grow our own flour or sugar. And you can only eat so many salads. I’ve had “decide system for obtaining dry goods” on my to-do list almost as long as I’ve been playing this save.
The good news is, I think I’ve finally settled on a system... 😳
Absolutely nothing groundbreaking here, but I’ve decided on rolling a (virtual) d20, where the roll determines the total number of items scavenged on the trip.
Example: If I roll a 7, I can choose to scavenge 3 bags of flour and 4 bags of sugar, or 1 bag of flour and 6 of whatever build or gameplay items the community wants/needs. Medicine, books, yoga mats... Anything that could be lying around in an abandoned house and still usable years after the collapse.
For the time being, while we’re just traveling to other neighborhoods in Evergreen Harbor via bicycle, I’ll be sticking with small objects, but eventually, once we unlock new worlds and “fix up a truck” or something to be able to get to them, larger items could be scavenged as well.
Rolling a 1 means something goes horribly wrong—something gets lost, someone gets hurt, or maaaaaaybe we even lose one of our survivors. 👀 I mean, I am very specifically choosing not to make rolling a 1 = immediate death by townie, but y’know, never say never. 💀
Inversely, of course, rolling a 20 of course means something amazing happens. So amazing, in fact, that it is altogether undetermined at this point. 😆 But, y’know, open to suggestions!
#lol i think about this shit way too much#but uh yeah let me know what you think#and if i should get an actual d20 or keep using google haha#ps creating the tag#rebuild a city rules#to better organize the rules i'm adding for myself#rebuild a city#ts4bacc#1_06#ts4 scenery#evergreen harbor#port promise
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They're at a cafe on a rainy day bc.. I want to sit at a cafe w someone and just vibe tgt
#jon is just scrolling thru tiktoks while damian is talking about whatever#also the way they look in my art constantly fluctuates bc for some reason I do a lot of experimentation with them as the subjects#like what do you mean I drew a whole background HUH? I hate to work hard!#i consider going back to rework some previous pieces because my learning has been large over this last month#I'm really really loving how my art looks these days fr tho#i think it feels very pretty to look at :)#anyway no more art for fun and leisure I HAVE A BIG COMMISSION TO DO 😭😭😭 DON'T LET ME DRAW FOR FUN GUYS 😭😭#art#digital art#fanart#screentone#manga style#illustration#jondami#damijon#damian wayne#jon kent#jonathan kent#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#also the sketch layers for this were so bad I didn't even put them in the digi sketchbook HAHAHAHAHA#maybe I'll fish them out tomorrow#might be kinder to myself then!#also.... the way I draw hair at the moment? freakin nice I love it#they're both having hot chocolates btw#me vs everyone should drink hot chocolates actually#also do Not Look at the shoes I know I need to do shoe studies I KNOW. OKAY. I know 😭#jon tilting back his chair and slouching hard bc uh yeah he absolutely is doing that#also as always I don't know how to draw children so they're young adult age 👍#yes I know I have to study how to draw children but please forgive me I am just so silly
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catch u on the flipside 😘✨
(cleaned up sketch under the cut because i kinda liked it a lot. please ignore the shoes i couldn't be bothered to fix them. it's all sketchy and weird just PLEASE b nice 2 me...)
#except dont because the game sucked ass#if someone makes their own flipside please let me know. my poor babygirl jecka#class of 09#co09#jecka#jecka class of 09#this was a big leap from my usual stuff but i fuck with it!!!#like most of my drawings uploaded here are... battamonda and like#they're so cool toned and stuff#jeckas all pink and blonde and bright#shes so good#i'm doing these for all of the class of 09 girlies. i think i'll polish emilys off next. or nicole.#the flipside is horrible except for the 7 seconds bullying joke#and ari with the hello kitty stud belt#and jecka putting a stick under crispins razor scooter lmao#AND emo jecka my love#SPOILERS BTW#the uh jecka death ending was so haunting like jesus#very ooc. ik nicole is fucked up but it wouldn't have gotten that far... she would have bullied the shit out of jeffrey for that#what else was uhh good#the jeckari kiss! fuck yeah!#anyway jesus christ imagine making a game bad on purpose bc you hate people shipping characters who flirt all the time#couldn't be me love
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hello sea i hope you’re having a great day !!!
if you don’t mind could you break down how you draw bodies? nothing in depth, just the basic guidelines ! i’m trying to get better with anatomy and i don’t think the guidelines i use right now are the best… i love the way you do anatomy and was hoping to see your process of getting an initial pose down and making sure the proportions look right :D
ty in advance and no worries if you don’t feel like explaining / doing a guide !! 💙
Ok forgive me for leaving this unanswered for months, I promise I wasn’t ignoring it I was just busy and also trying to figure out how to best answer this aljskjs
Ok anyways so I broke down the absolute basic basic steps that I like to do for my figure, but I didn’t quite get into the specifics of anatomy and stuff like that (I’d have to do a whole lecture slide and well…. That’ll take much muccchhhhh longer) but anywho!
So I’m certainly not the be-all and end-all of anatomy/pose advice, but I’ve found that breaking down the figure like this into simple shapes is one of the best way I figure out a pose in the years I’ve taken classes/figure drawing myself. A good exercise is to do some gesture drawings with a time limit (for speedy folks like myself (hehe) I like to keep the sketches down to seconds! But if you make a nice sketch in say… 3-5 minutes, that’s a good time!) gesture drawings are literally just drawing people posing (live drawing sessions are really fun, but pictures are just as effective! I’ll say Pinterest is pretty solid for looking up dynamic poses to practice with, but if you just look up something like “dynamic poses online” you can find lots of solid sites that have collected poses over the years! Also do mind some of these have nude models option so if you are in public, at work, and if you’re a minor, please mind those options) another good method is to actually directly trace the figure itself. Not to get too into the ethics of tracing or whatever (good for practice… bad for “saying it’s yours and whatever”), but sometimes tracing the figure directly can help you understand what parts of the body connects to what, and overall would help you identify the various body parts a little better. But yeah! So that’s the gist of it. Again I haven’t gone too deep into the technicalities of anatomy as I would take much longer to do so (one day I will!) but I hope this answers at least a part of your question and helps you on your artistic journey :3
#asks#ok I think I said all I wanted to say#let me know if there was anything else you wanted to know!#for more specifics I’ll def have to take longer on it#…perhaps I’ll make a video… hm… that would be fun#also don’t mind uh. my. not so great graphic designishjgdjhdhjdh I in a car doing this lmaooooooooo#ah no I didn’t do this all in a car I did half at home and the rest while being driven#anyways#hm… what else do I tag this was uhhh#art guide#how to#yeah ok
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Do you ever think about the fact that Vorador and Raziel were burning with rage the moment Janos died
#legacy of kain#lok#listen to me#no one loved Janos as much as they did I said what I say#do you ever THINK about how Vorador's behavior toward Raziel changed............#like he went from being wary of him in SR2 to let him enter Janos' tomb in Defiance.........#and I don't think it's only because Janos sees Raziel as the messiah#it's definitely not just because of that#he gets that Janos means a lot to Raziel too if he wants to resurrect him#and I think that they got this boy of mutual understanding you know#yeah uh I am normal about all that obviously
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actually as much as i love mike and harvey together. i feel so sad for rachel zane because imagine falling in love with your coworker and then you learn that your coworker is a fake lawyer but not only that, your coworker is a fake lawyer who would literally do anything for his boss. he'll literally leave you at the altar to go to prison for his boss. he'll try to quit his job multiple times but keep coming back because his boss asked him to come back. he'll move to seattle with you, and you'll breathe a sigh of relief because it means that it can finally just be the two of you, but then you learn that he's inviting his stupid former boss to join them. and his stupid former boss agrees. you smile because your husband is so stupid happy at the idea of working with his former boss again, but you've seen this film one too many times before, and you are going to be subject to watching your husband choose his stupid former boss-slash-friend over you again and again and again and again and again and ag
#caroline talks#suits#LIKE? ? ??? rachel zane babes i love u but i hope you've divorced mike ross by now <333#like i'm so sorry girlie!!! your husband loves u i'm sure but also he's been playing stupid chicken with this guy he's been in love with#for YEARS NOW!!!!#it's also like. uh. you KNOW that harvey wouldn't do anything with mike while mike's married to rachel because of ALL THAT BAGGAGE HE HAS--#and i don't think mike would ever do anything to harvey because HE knows how much baggage harvey has#like. in my head. yeah they're all living together in seattle and rachel's just like ':/// i need to divorce this man bc we could move to#literally antarctica and mike would still find a way to drag harvey along.#and the crazy thing is that harvey would probably FOLLOW HIM.'#like. the way i'm not even exaggerating what happens in the show too?? ? ?#like we have literal scenes of rachel crying and begging mike to just LET HARVEY GO#and to just CHOOSE HER#and mike is always just like '!!! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO GIVE UP ON HARVEY'#and it's like. ilysm mike u crazy silly man <333 but also like. i think it's fairly reasonable of the woman you're marrying#to ask you to choose her over your boss slash buddy. y'know?#like. it's not even like rachel and mike are a cute simple girlfriend-boyfriend.#they are literally ENGAGED and they are literally supposed to START A LIFE TOGETHER--#and mike is still going ':((( i can't leave harvey behind' like actually rachel babe i am SO SORRY
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are there any Final Fantasy 16 enjoyers among my followers here? how we feelin about Final Fantasy 16, gang?
i ask because, ngl, i am cringing pretty hard at how excessively/on-the-nose-ly/tediously the game keeps driving home the "[Fantasy] Slavery Is Bad" theme. i understand is kind of ridiculous of me, given i've written many hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction about The Other Video Game With A Cringey Fantasy-Slavery Theme, like, surely i'd be inured against this kind of cringe by now, but, hmmm. at least fire emblem por/rd didn't have 18 different sidequests all hitting the EXACT SAME "you help someone and they call you a bunch of slurs" beats over and over, yaknow
anyway! i'm hoping the game eventually assumes i got the message on Slavery Is Bad and moves on to explore other themes, i'm VERY interested in learning more about Cid's whole deal, but who knows
also i've only seen like 0.8 seconds of Dion so far which seems improbable given how much fanart i've seen of the gentleman. hope we see more of him at some point
#also: if i owe you a reply anywhere please know i got back from my international flight#and immediately fell violently ill#all i have been up for is crawling to the couch and playing lil bits and pieces of ff16.#and uh. not playing it particularly quickly lol#i might feel like a human later this week#it has been hell on earth booking appointments with the specialists i need let me tell you#ETA: ok yeah i think what's throwing me the most is how the game seems to think CLIVE is unaware Slavery Is Bad???#idk man he was human canon fodder for 13 years. you'd assume the man has some notion#like i understand (sigh) why the devs think the *player* needs a rundown but. clive? huh?
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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James Deen we were rooting for you
#dont ask me how i drew this- i dont know what possessed me#this was really fun to paint though#oh yeah! i also took a ref pic for this one#theres probs a lot of anatomical issues w/ this regardless but idc rn#i am happy with how it looks :)#texturing took a hot second to figure out#my first impulse for rendering is just to go about it like a render metal#which is uh. wrong#so i had to hold myself back from adding so sosososoooooo many highlights hfgdjgd#i also forced myself to use plenty of brushes this time :0#if i was gonna download Devin Elle Kurtz's rake pack. i might as well use it lmao#but i also used a flat brush tool that i think csp created and made available to download- along with the dry brush and charcoal brush whic#just comes with the program#i think you can tell where i used the dry brush pretty easily#earbud wire and hair mainly#ah and if youre curious#lyrics are to “James Deen You Let Us Down” by Dazey and The Scouts#pretty obvious name haha#but i like the song a lot#thats why i made a whole piece around it yknow LOL#OH YEAH NORMAL TAGS I GOTTA DO THAT#oc#oc art#digital art#painting#digital painting#art#artwork#descarn
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Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
#caluuart#genshin impact#genshin#art#arlecchino#god she's just so. cool. pretty. ethereal. badass.#also I LOVE HER STORY QUEST SO MUCH!! I think it's definitely one of the best story quests in the game tbh.#wait uh arlecchino story quest spoilers below:#for one; the quest really gives even more depth to arlecchino's character. like yeah the whole thing is well. messed up.#it's an orphanage that raises orphans to be child soldiers after all. But it's also like. It's more.... humane? nicer? for the fatui anyway#which does bring me to the next thing. you know how arlecchino's like “if you're gonna leave the HotH you need to fight for it with ur life#I genuinely think that she's gonna just. straight up kill them. although it's not unlikely at all it turns out that (most of the time?) she#-just gives them a one trip to memory loss and set them free. which i do know it's kinda like death in genshin's lore but still.#I just find that pretty interesting.#also the cutscene where clervie says goodbye n stuff. It makes me cry EVERY TIME. ARGHHHH TRAGIC CHILDHOOD DOOMED YURI MY BELOVED :(((#clervie makes me so sad man. the fact that she just. accepts death. she really just let peruere kill her huh. crucabena when I fucking get#the hopelessness getting to her at that point. all attempts of freedom failed until that day..... GOD. and clervie finally getting closure-#-in the story quest as a spirit... I just..... man.........#on a lighter note :)#I got obsessed with a bloodborne OST LMAO. the uhh the lugwig boss theme. esp the sec phase one. it's SO GOOD. I first heard abt it in a-#-vid analyzing the ost musically. At the time i was like. woah. cool. what a cool sounding track. fast foward to like. a day before 4.6#I'm watching a genshin theory video and I heard the music in the bg. I recognized it but I couldn't remember where I heard it from#UNTIL I REMEMBERED. and looked it up. And I have not known peace since. good music.#anw I've been rambling too much so yeah. gn my dear fellows!!
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As a purely self indulgent sort of post, here's a little "spotlight" on one of the maps for my little thought experiment monster hunter project!
The Verdant Expanse
The Verdant Expanse is a largely forested region that displays an incredible variety of flora and fauna. While technically the second region that the research outpost encountered, it was the first one they turned their focus to, as the region now known as Sharq Tooth Beach was considered too dangerous to explore in depth without qualified hunters.
The Forest:
The large trees and abundant undergrowth of the Verdant Expanse provide excellent shelter and food for small monsters such as Kelbi, who prefer the more open clearings with plentiful berries, and Mosswine, who are typically found in the more dense undergrowth foraging for mushrooms. Bullfango root through the dirt for food, and will brazenly charge at any who disturb their meal, and are occasionally accompanied by a Bulldrome, their white-crested leader. Pukei-Pukei may be found on occasion, feeding in the mushroom-dense depths of the forest.
Night Time:
At night, the stunning Malfestio fly silently through the air, using the mesmerizing patterns on their wings, and the dust-like scales they shed, to confuse and daze prey and predator alike. The howls of the powerful Zinogre ring through the trees, as fulgur bugs gather around them, providing them with their terrifying control of the thunder element.
The Lake:
As one wanders further into the Expanse, they will quickly come upon a lake. Formed by the dams of Caeserbur, this lake is frequented by most monsters in the area as it is rich in prey and plant life. Caeserbur dams are large, befitting their large creators. They can be seen dragging entire trees to their dams, and should they feel threatened, will even throw the trees they carry at attackers.
The lake is also the home of several other large monsters. Arzuros fish along the banks near small waterfalls, and collect honey amongst the trees. Tetranodon forage along the mucky lakebed for plants and small creatures to eat, and frequently rest near the surface where they give the appearance of small, mossy islands. Mizitsune live along the lake and river, using their long necks and sharp teeth to catch fish. Evidence of their recent presence is often found in the form of bubblefoam along the water's edge.
The Meadow:
At the forest's edge lies a vast field of colorful wildflowers, full of insects such as Bnahabra and Vespoid. Be wary in this area, as it is the home of the Apex of the Verdant Expanse. The Forokururu, despite feeding only on insects and nectar, is a formidable foe, and guards its fields ferociously. The variety of flowers at its disposal give it the ability to utilize an incredibly wide variety of ailments, and even the fire element. This beautiful monster has made studying the meadows difficult, and passage to the desert region even more so...
#anyways. this area is my most developed so far#the most key monsters of the area are caeserbur. malfestio. and forokururu. but i want every area to feel full and include#a good variety of monsters in a variety of roles#thats why i have a small fungivore and a large one#and insectivore. a piscivore. some typical carnivores#i think bulldrome and bullfango would probably be willing to scavenge#as would zinogre since it's a wolf#i think the only areas i may have more thought-out ecology-wise are the beach and island#but yeah i know almost none of you are monhun people and also this isnt even actually#related to a monhun game so like. this is really mostly for me and also eli#skfjdkfh#uh lets see lets make an organizational tag so people can filter#monster hunter wild frontiers#<- wip name for this project because#1. i thought it would be funny to combine the names of both the next monster hunter game and a defunct mknster hunter game#2. i think those two in particular encapsulate what im doing with this well#i want to have wide varied environments with a lot of ecology to them#and i also want to utilize monsters that haven't ever surfaced beyond region-exlusive non-mainline titles like frontier and online
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no y’all don’t get it, the reason Jenna doesn’t connect the dots and figures out that Leverage is secretly being her guardian angels is that the dots connect to make an absolutely ridiculous picture!
Like! She’s very smart and very willing to throw herself into risky situations to do what she thinks is right and I love her, but no matter how clever you are “a bunch of super thieves/vigilantes are also trying to take this guy down and are now secretly helping me by making a bunch of random but not that incredibly unlikely shit happen” is just. like. c’mon. if you say you’d figure that out while in a ridiculously stressful situation in which you constantly put yourself at risk of worst case getting raped and best case losing your job and possibly getting sued, you’re lying.
Yeah the team’s cons are obvious to us! bc we know them! but normal ppl don’t connect “venue shut down bc food poisoning” and “randomly found a singer at a completely different venue” and “there was a fire alarm” bc all those things can in fact happen, for them all to happen in quick succession is random and lucky but it’s not “omg someone is spying on me and??? giving me?????? things i need?”
#leverage redemption#the belly of the beast job#someone was like why doesn't she recognize the sound of tapped phones?#uh? bc she doesn't know what that sounds like? she's a civilian as Eliot said?#would you recognize the sound of a tapped phone?#you sure you wouldn't also dismiss it with an ''eh probably the connection being bad for a second''?#i love her#she's young and bright and clever and naive to a degree too yeah#she thinks no i'll be careful this won't happen to me#and she's right bc she's being watched over#i don't think she's letting herself think about what could happen#she just runs and runs and keeps going and it's working! it's working! so she's really excited and can't really believe it#so she doesn't question it and she doesn't hesitate or waste time figuring out who tf that food truck woman is#she'll probably decompress and a few days after the events of the episode shoot up in bed and go#omg the woman in the how to crack a safe video was the waiter at that bar#and then she'll put all that energy into figuring that out#but in the moment? too much adrenaline
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..
#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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Wait omg..... Jessica Cruz probably did rifle... my specialized sports knowledge coming in CLUTCH
Okay so I barely practiced and made it to regionals like once so im NOT the expert here but uh headcanoning that Jess did air rifle when she was a teen. Like idk if it would be as part of a team like with a high school (what I'm familiar with) vs like an individual thing vs like a travel/competitive team (it depends on the sitch in her area growing up) but she definitely went to some national matches (probably including JOs/JO quals like i think she was GOOD). I think she probably would have quit competitively following a bad shot at nationals (relatable) along with anxiety about competition (ALSO relatable) but still kept up with shooting casually for fun and relaxation and to hang out with friends etc.
She definitely would have shot smallbore competitively too but I never did that bc I was lazy so idk to much abt it competitively
#and by bad shot i mean a 0#it hurts me to even think abt doing that during a match actually esp at fucking JOs#a girl on my team did that and im sure it was devastating (we never let her live it down after too) but like dang. i feel that pain#im just saying she would vibe sooooooo hard with rifle. like canonically they just said she did it but im talking air in particular#also in the panel they said six which first off. humphries bro thats TOO young ik youre trying to be impressive but youre talking abt rifle#here. if someones let their kid have a gun at 6 theres actually smth wrong with them. and not even a bb or smth wtf#ANYWAYS you guys haveeeee to understand this. jess would go so hard for rifle she would fit right in w every competitive shooter ive ever#met istg-#she would be out there on the porch 35° weather in full gear mid match crying w the rest of us it would be great#wait wait shoutout to the time i had to get smth from my car and there were like 4 ppl out there crying during the middle of standing#like i literally FEEL THAT SO HARD (weve all been there) but also like... awkwarddddddd#4 is an unusually large amount though. normally its like 2 ppl at a time first relay. with more 1st relay ppl crying after than during#gosh rifle omg this is making me miss it#<<<<freshman/sophomore me would kill me for saying this btw. i HATED practicing so bad then omg#OH and Jess would be a kneeling girlie. fave position. why ? bc i said so shut up#no but bc its my favorite position (yes i know its the worst okay. im aware of all the reasons kneelings sucks and why everyone hates it.#but you know what? kneeling hates everyone equally and i respect that) no but uh yeah ✌️✌️✌️✌️#top 10 posts that are 80% jargon and only i care about 😘#anyways this is canon to me now actually#like idc what you say she was down in the trenches (the range) w the rest of us#also ik she almost certainly would have shot paper but in my mind she practices mainly w electronic bc thats what i used (even if its super#uncommon and is only used at the nice ranges) if she was super competitive she would probably have driven to shoot electronic. lets just say#there was a paper nearby and an electronic scoring range a bit farther or smth#anyways yeah#WAIT OMG SHE DEFINITELY MET HER FRIENDS FROM HER BACKSTORY THROUGH RIFLE#and the dating drama too omg rifle drama was INSANE. like i was almost always out of the loop bc i never practiced and didnt have snapchat#but like the drama was INSANE. fucking wild. at least to my nerdy ass self. so her relationship drama makes total sense now okay babe fr#jessica cruz#blah
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