#but twitter and all it's replacements are going to completely lose me soon
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tehnakki · 11 months ago
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I'm getting reaaaaal tired of online queer spaces where everything turns into a fight about phrasing and assuming everyone is out to get you.
Especially as Google has gotten SO SHITTY and so trying to Google things for yourself often ends up with a biased/awful answer. So how can we expect people to do their own research and then be mad at them when they come to the wrong conclusions?
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stevetonyweekly · 2 years ago
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SteveTony Weekly - March 5th
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I’m going to be incredibly busy over the next few weeks so how many stories I read will be less than normal--hopefully it’ll even out some in April. In the meantime, enjoy this week’s recs and be sure to give a comment/kudos for your fic authors! 
~*~
***Covered in Lines by royal_chandler
He can’t lose sight of pale, deft hands that gesture on transitive verbs, an ink-stained thumb edging underneath Tony’s ribcage with an affection that can only be called dangerous.
The Sea is Calling by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday)
The storm took everything from Steve and left him empty and alone.
Tony has been swept away on the rough tides, taken from everything and everyone he loves.
The sea takes and takes and takes and gives nothing back.
adjustment period by mistymountainking
Tony and Steve have been together for a while now. They love each other a truly sickening amount. Unfortunately, Tony's issues have issues.
only a kiss by mistymountainking
Tony wouldn’t be the first to admit it—he wouldn’t be the third or the fifth or the fiftieth, even—but he’s a very physically affectionate person. For a man who doesn’t like being handed things, he loves using his hands to show his fondness for others. He has his little touches, arm pats, shoulder squeezes, handshakes; hugs are almost exclusively reserved for Rhodey and Pepper (Happy, Steve’s learned, isn’t a hugger), but no one is exempt from being kissed when the mood strikes Tony Stark.
No one except Steve, apparently.
a moment in the sun by mistymountainking
“—I mean it’s crazy right? It’s crazy, Tony Stark, Tony Stark calls us up out of the blue one day and says ‘You’ll be waiting six months to a year for a decent repair job, let alone a complete replacement, and I owe you guys, come on by Avengers Tower—”
***
a prompt fill for an anon on tumblr, who asked for Steve/Tony + Tony designing prosthetics for wounded vets
breathe with me by mistymountainking
“If footage from my sweet sixteen made it into this lineup, we’re watching all three Die Hards."
It’s Wednesday, and Wednesday means movie night at the mansion.
***
a prompt fill for lovingcookiemonsterblog on tumblr, who asked for Steve/Tony + "You're not worth it."
we'll hold each other (soon) by mistymountainking
Moments after the bright blue light of Tony’s arc reactor goes dark, Steve knows what he has to do.
 ***
written as a prompt fill for anon on tumblr, who asked for Steve/Tony post-Endgame fix-it fic.
tomorrow can wait (come whatever) by mistymountainking
The picture isn’t damning, Steve reminds himself. They aren’t engaged. They aren’t dating. They’re just friends. The pose is damning enough, but he’d be an idiot if he didn’t admit, at least to himself, that it’s his face that sells it. His face is why The Picture™ has been the #1 trending thing on Twitter for going on twelve hours, and why Clint whistled Wagner’s bridal chorus at him when they walked back into the tower last night.
He looks like he’s in love. Which is fair, because he is. With Tony.
His fiancé.
***
Steve and Tony are photographed mid-battle, which is par for the course. By the time they get home, the whole world thinks they're engaged, which is...not. But it's not a big deal—they'll figure things out eventually.
Excuses, excuses by S_Horne
“It was just that last lecture, the one on Wednesday,” Steve started, plucking his notebook off the top of his book pile and flicking through it. “I left feeling a little confused. I understood it all, but it wasn’t my favourite one. Do we have to write the paper on that topic, or can I focus on something else?”
Tony laughed as he pushed his chair backwards and stood. “That,” he said as he rounded the desk, “has got to be the worst excuse you’ve come up with yet. And I’m including the time that you came to tell me that the lights had been left on in my classroom.”
***a rose by any other name by meidui
“Just Steve,” he says quickly, softly, and his voice is music to Tony’s ears. “Please call me Steve.”
Tony can’t help but stare as it occurs to him that he should have prepared a proper greeting. What on earth is someone so young and pretty doing in an engagement like this?
-
There are a lot of things about Steve that make this arrangement easier than Tony thought it would be, but then there are a lot of things about him that complicate it, too.
flight risk by meidui
Tony is discharged from the hospital on his birthday, a beautiful May afternoon. The kind of sunshine that warms you up forever.
Mine by tinystark616
Steve doesn't have a problem with the fact that Tony likes to have one-night stands. It's none of his business. That is, until he has to witness Tony making out with Thor right in front of him.
tony's stickers of love by ArabellaAM
When Tony prints a couple of "Tony Stark Approved" stickers as a joke, the last thing he expects is to end up covering Steve's heart with them.
What if I Were To by blue_jack
“I know I said you could pick my next PA, but this is ridiculous.”
I Hear the Winter's Leave by thistlethorns
The thing is, Tony genuinely didn't know he had a soulmate.
time cannot replace by SailorChibi
When Steve is told that he has amnesia and has forgotten the past three years, naturally the first thing he does is call his boyfriend, Tony.
A Common Guttersnipe by betheflame 
When Steve Rogers walks down the runway, Tony Stark stops breathing. He must have this man as a client - he can make him the biggest movie star the world has ever known.
And then they meet, and Steve opens his mouth, and that accent nearly kills Tony. He makes Steve a bet - in six months, he can make even Anna Wintour think that Steve graduated from Phillips Exeter, and in return, Steve will let Tony sign him as a client.
Steve takes the bet, thinking he has nothing to loose.
And then he learns that the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, that he could have danced all night, and that the world will still run without Tony Stark, but goddamn if he wants it to.
The Space Stone by TheDrow
Steve returns to put the Tesseract back… except its not as easy as he originally thought. And there’s someone in the past that he’s actively trying to avoid…
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mysteryman-17 · 2 years ago
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* I USED TO HAVE IMP3CCABLE [[Speech - 100]] * BUT ALAS, [[take a look at me now]]!! * ALL [[File corrupted]], NO [[Hyperlink blocked]]. * I'D ASK FOR YOUR HELP, BUT LET'S BE REAL K1D. * THERE'D BE NO [[Get to the point...]] * YOUR HEAD'S JUST NOT [[In the game]]!
Time’s End is an AHIT/Undertale crossover AU of sorts, taking place in the aftermath of a timeline where you lose the final boss fight against Mustache Girl. You can find the write-up here! In addition, you can find the write-ups for the Neutral Endings and TimeWarp Route Requirements on Google Drive! The logo for Time's End was designed by @bittybattybunny. She's an incredible artist, be sure to check out their work here on Tumblr and over on Twitter!!
Moonjumper replaces Gaster. After escaping the Horizon, they're just barely holding on to their existence. Glitchy as anything, their form phasing in and out of view, distorted speech... the works. MJ desires to finally get a proper foothold in this world once more, but needs Bow Kid’s help... help that they'll never get on the Pacifist and Neutral routes, as it requires Bow to do things that she'd normally never do. But as much of a fool's errand as it is, Moonjumper fights Bow on those two routes anyway when she encounters them at the broken giant hourglass. You aren't really able to lose to them, as they heal you right when you would be about to die, but hey! No pain, no [[game]], am I right? ...If nothing else, it gives time for em to get some cryptically cynical thoughts off their chest. Having to leave your thoughts to fester while constantly being mere inches away from non-existence, and corrupted beyond comprehension, kinda does that to a guy lmaoooo. After the fight however, Moonjumper says a few more things that SEEM indicate the tiniest amount of hope, then just fades away without a trace, their grasp on existence being weakened just enough for it to slip completely... for a while at any rate. =)
Motifs:
Oh It's You + Your Contract Has Expired (modified)
The Badge Seller
"You're not supposed to be in the game!" (6:20 - 6:28)
That's right folks, I finally bothered to do a NYCTBA counterpart for the string bean! I was originally going to just not have one, since there wouldn't be a place for it to play, but then I realized... that's fucking dumb! So here we are; figured it was worth fleshing out a lil more to "complete the sentence," so to speak. ;) (Also I might do a Dialtone but idk for sure at this point so uhhhh S K I P) Anyhow ye, retooled and "backdated" the BIG SHOT's transcriptions to fit the NYCTBA format, changed the pitch and implemented the new vocals. Not much else to say here, hope you guys enjoy! (P.S. My hours and days off at work are going to be changing fairly soon, so my posting times/rates are going to get a LOT more irregular. Stuff for this AU isn't going anywhere, but I just wanted to prep y'all for that fact.)
You can also listen to this track in high quality on the AU’s SoundCloud here!
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puppetavasharpe · 3 years ago
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Okay yall I’m back just to say my piece about the end of season 7 cuz I’m so annoyed with what they gave us.
They nerf’d Sara’s super powers yet again (first time for ableism 😬), this time just so she could HAVE A BABY??? The sexism?? It’s not even in character for her 😭😭. If they wanted to make it in character, they could have given us a speech from Sara about how she’s been through so much bad and now she wants to contribute good to the world (even that explanation would need a little more cuz she’s already giving back to the world by being a superhero).
If they nerf’d Supergirl just so she could have a baby, the fans would be up in arms, so why aren’t the avalance fans annoyed at this 😭.
Her powers came from an extremely traumatizing event in her life where she was kidnapped and had her body altered without her permission by yet ANOTHER egotistical maniac dude (Ivo being the first) but I guess having a baby makes trauma and finding power in that trauma unnecessary and go away?
Y’all hear the word “baby” and all brain cells fall out of your ears man.
Also Sara and Ava used to talk about whips and wear lingerie to the office and now they’re pregnant BY KISSING???? By kissing.
Why is no one outraged by the massive desexua|ization of avalance this season? Did LoT writers room fire half their staff and hire the Flash’s homophobic mf team cuz this is absolutely ridiculous 😩
They gave Ray and Nate wives and kicked them out, they gave Mick kids and kicked him out, yet they give avalance both of these storylines (despite the kid storyline being out of line with Sara’s ptsd, but we don’t talk about that anymore 😭. ngl I’m sorely disappointed with how they handled Sara’s arc in season 6 and it took me getting off social media and not having to deal with rude and victimized antis to realize that the storyline was incomplete) yet keep them around but don’t give us any logical explanations as to why they’re doing this so soon in their marriage in the first place?
We all know how much the ratings would go down if Sara and Ava left the show, but keeping them around just to completely nerf them into the ground is not a better option.
Also it’s insulting to the other characters who people LOVE yet were kicked off for these exact reasons. I’m not feeling respected, I’m feeling baitedbecause they don’t give us any reasons to like these storylines for Sara and Ava other than “uhh, hey yall like babies right??? Ppl on Twitter seem to like babies? Idk let’s go with that 🤷”
It’s like Sara and Ava are just there to keep me watching a show that has now gotten rid of most of their fully fleshed out characters only to replace said characters with absolutely new ppl?
Booster Gold is an inherently terrible and selfish character, he’s not lovable, and he’s Rip Hunters dad in the comics like ‘nuff said lmao 😭.
And we now have to dedicate time on two absolutely new characters, one of which already completed their arc??? (I’m talking about Alun, his and Gwyns arc is done, they have no reason to continue the journey).
We got a 30 second delve into Behrad about his ptsd and life growing up; we rid Nora and Ray despite never meeting his brother (and he could easily “provide” for a fairy god mother gig while living on the waverider smfh); we never got to see how Ava, the woman who’s been super insecure about being a clone, finding out there’s hundreds of copies of her being held captive by a man who traumatized her WIFE, yet now we’re gonna delve into new characters and have to spend time building new relationships and establishing reasons why I should love NEW ppl????
I want to focus on who I already love because I haven’t gotten enough of them first, but instead we’re instantly moving into new people 😩
I dont know man. Shows gone down hill but y’all hear the word “baby” and lose all coherent thought, and tbfh, the LoT writers room knows this about yall. Y’all are being played smh.
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dizzydancingdreamer · 4 years ago
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Bubblegum Princess, Cherry Angel | Kai Parker
Hello my lovelies! 2020 is almost over, can you believe it? I sure as hell can’t! I have no idea what inspired this, I truly don’t, but it seemed only fitting to end this year off with a raunchy round of sex! Because why the fuck not! I hope you all have a safe and wonderful new years, and I can’t wait to see you all in 2021! Please enjoy loves!
Description: He smells her bubblegum lip gloss and then wonders how on earth he managed to convince an angel to let him fuck her into next week, let alone get in his truck. 
Pairing: Kai Parker x Female!Reader
Warnings: THIS IS AN 18+ FIC ONLY!! Smut (terribly written smut is more accurate), nothing more than the usual but, like, it is like 7000 words of pure sex so read at your own risk
Word count: 9.2k
Tags: SMUT, FLUFF
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The four hours in which it took two people to find magic within each other, all thanks to one tube of drugstore, bubblegum lip gloss. 
Hour One
Her bubblegum lip gloss attacks him from all the way across the café, cutting cleanly through the aroma of coffee and donuts and sending his heart racing at the obscenely sweet scent. He should hate it. No, scratch that, he shouldn’t think anything of it at all. It’s not in his nature to enjoy things- or to feel things at all, to be frank- but he can’t help it. The drugstore brand, wildly over-scented balm makes his head fuzzy like nothing else. 
Kai watches as she pours over the book in front of her, tilting his head when she scrunches her nose. She murmurs something inaudible, tapping a pen to her lip a couple times. One tap, two taps, three taps. Each time that pen touches her lip he grows more envious, his heart now very much in his throat. Does the pen know her lips taste like candy? Does it at least have the courtesy to enjoy it? He releases a breath when she finally writes something down, leaving her mouth alone. 
He forces his eyes away from her and back to his own coffee. Well, the term coffee should only be loosely used here; it’s more sugar and cream than actual coffee. The sweet syrup warms his chest as he takes a sip, lighting his taste buds on fire. Maybe this is what her lips taste like. He shakes his head to clear her face from his mind- a task much more impossible than one might think- before setting the mug down and turning to the device between his fingers. A cell phone. 
Kai presses the ‘on’ button, his eyes lighting up with the screen. Damon had handed it- the cell phone- to him a few days ago, muttering something about leaving the 80’s in the past where it belongs, and told him to get used to it. A little apple symbol appears and he scrunches his eyebrows. Is that supposed to be there? It disappears, replaced now by a picture of the forest he took a couple days ago. That’s better. He swipes past the lockscreen, coming to a page of little square pictures. Damon said those are called apps.
He clicks on one with a little bird- Twitter, he thinks it’s called- and opens it, scrolling a little sloppily through the page. He comes across a picture, one with a man holding a guitar, and stops to look at it for a minute. It looks like someone he used to know and he clicks on the picture to check. That looks like the same birthmark and he kind of remembers the guitar- 
All of a sudden the picture starts moving and music starts blaring from the phone, filling the quiet café with an obnoxious twang. It startles Kai, his heart jumping and his cheeks much too hot, and he drops the phone on the table, a sharp bang now joining the music. He grabs at his phone frantically, feeling all the stares that are now on him as he blindly searches for the ‘off’ button and sighing in relief when the screen goes black once more. Cell phones are awful, he decides in the moment. 
Kai hears soft giggles as his shoulders sag, the same bubblegum fragrance tickling his senses. The musical laughter and the sugary gloss are a lethal combination, one that taunts his senses and consumes him whole. The giggles echo in his ears, invading his head and bouncing around every nerve. He turns towards the sound- he doesn’t have a choice- and his eyes meet the girl, zeroing in on her glossy lips now wrapped around the end of her pen. He takes in her face, every curve and edge, before landing on her eyes and promptly losing his breath. Does she know she’s the prettiest woman he’s ever seen?
He smiles at her and rolls his eyes in what he can only hope is a playful way, holding up the phone and shrugging his shoulders. Her eyes draw over his face and down his arm, trailing fire over him with her very gaze before landing on the estranged device. She giggles again and Kai wishes he could grab the sound out of the air and pocket it. Is that normal? He bites his cheek as she looks back to her book, the pen still between her sweet lips. He doesn’t bother trying to answer the question; he doesn’t care. 
He clicks the phone once more, this time simply to check the time. A quarter to five. He glances back at the woman, his eyes widening as she slips her book into the leather bag hanging off her chair. Shit, she’s leaving. He stands quickly, shoving his phone in his pocket and slapping a five dollar bill on the table. When he looks up again she’s at the door, her bubble gum aroma fading as she clears the threshold. He shrugs his jacket on, racing out the door to catch up with her.
The cold air bites his skin as soon as steps onto main street, his eyes scanning for the pretty girl with the worn satchel and voice like a siren. He spots her halfway down the square and doesn’t think for a moment before jogging to meet her, his chest a mess of warmth and butterflies. Her head is down, lost in the sound of her heels against the pavement and quite oblivious to the love struck puppy chasing after her. It seems that only a bark will catch her attention now.
“Hey, wait up,” Kai calls, his heart screaming in his chest, “you forgot something.”
He’s a few feet away from her now and her bubblegum scent has morphed into the sweetest mixture of maraschino cherries and candy and every, little, perfect thing he’s ever experienced. It makes his mouth water and his cheeks flush, two things which are only intensified when she turns around and her eyes light up, a soft smile taking over her supple lips. 
She tilts her head at him, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, “I did?”
He almost can’t answer, the cheesy line he had already lined up on his tongue melting away at the sound of her angelic voice. Two words. Two little words and she has him completely wrapped around her perfect finger. He doesn’t understand the feeling in his chest, the way her voice makes him feel like he’s breathing for the first time in his entire life, but he doesn’t care. That’s a recurring theme with this girl.
A grin spreads across his face, his stomach twisting as he finds his words once more, “you did,” he nods, taking half a step towards her. “You forgot to let me buy you dinner.”
Her face lights up even further as she throws a hand over her lips, her giggles once more flooding his body with tingles. She looks like an angel, the way her eyes close slightly when she laughs. She must know what she’s doing to him, how when she throws her head and her neck curves against the setting sun his entire body goes stiff. His fingers squeeze at his sides, wanting nothing more than to trace over her soft skin. What is going on?
“How silly of me,” she murmurs, her pretty eyes- yes that’s all he can think, that they are the most pretty eyes he’s ever seen- dancing over his face, “how could I possibly forget to let a man- whose name I don’t know- ask me to dinner?”
His cheeks flare with heat but he can’t wipe the adoring smile off his lips, “where are my manners? I’m Kai,” her takes her hand, pulling it to his lips and stealing a few more of those delicious giggles from her throat, “and I would really like to buy you dinner.”
She hums appreciatively, a wide smile on her lips. His heart flutters rapidly when she twists her fingers into his, running her thumb over his. Every part of her is soft- gentle- and he would give anything in that moment to be able to pull her into his arms. That isn’t normal, though, he knows that much. 
“Kai,” she tests his name on her tongue and his heart stops, his whole being screaming at him to beg her to say it again and again, “I like that. I’m y/n,” she supplies and the name clicks into his chest like a missing puzzle piece as she continues on her little ramble, “Kai.” She tilts her head, her eyes clouded over in thought, “something is missing, though. Is that your full name?”
His eyes widen, his chest flooding with dread at her soft inquiry, “no, actually. It’s Malachai,” he winces slightly as it rolls off his tongue- he always has hated that name- watching her closely for the moment she recoils in disgust, “I know, what were my parents thinking right? I sound like a villain-”
“I like it better,” she interrupts, her eyes catching his and her hand squeezing a tad harder, “it suits you. Malachai.” This time when she says his name he has to swallow the lump in his throat, his stomach tensing, “tell me, Malachai, do you like pizza?”
Hour Two
Her heart pounds hard in her chest as she sits in the booth across from him, his chocolate and honey scent still clinging desperately to her hand. She brushes an invisible strand of hair from her face, using the excuse to breathe him in again. He’s intoxicating, she muses to herself. Does he know he’s the most handsome man she’s ever seen? He smiles at her, his grin tugging at his red lips and sending her heart even further into overdrive. He must know.
“I hope this place has good pizza,” Kai laughs, the sound like heaven to her ears, “I haven’t actually tried it yet. If it’s awful I give you full permission to hate me.
She laughs as well- she can’t help it, she never giggles this much but he around him it’s impossible to not- pressing her hand to her mouth, “you’re lucky then; you chose my favourite restaurant. I always make sure to stop by the grill when I’m home. The pizza here is wonderful.”
That’s what she says. The pizza is wonderful. What she wants to say is that she doesn’t think she could ever hate him. That five minutes under his gaze, listening to his smooth voice and honeyed laugh, is enough to have her completely spellbound. That she’s almost certain by the time an hour passes she’ll forget every other boy she’s ever laid eyes on. What she wants to say is that she thinks he’s wonderful. But that’s not normal- not proper- so she just smiles at him.
He tilts his head, his eyes skimming over her face in a way that makes her cheeks warm, “when you’re home?”
She nods, trying to ignore the way he leans towards her slightly and how it makes her blood pump harder, “I go to school out of town. Not too far away but far enough that I have to live on campus. I actually have to head back tonight,” her heart stings for a moment, thinking about how she only just met him and now she has to leave, “I was only here for a day.”
“So I only have a few hours,” he hums, his smile like a bullet straight to her heart, “I think that’s enough time.”
His fingers slide slowly across the table, his pinky skimming her hand. It’s the simplest of touches- just a brush of his skin against hers- but it’s like she can feel all of him through it. She can feel his hands skimming her body, every inch of it, in intricate detail, as if she’s been in this very moment before and her muscles can recall each of his. It only increases when he grins, no doubt catching the way she sucks in a breath. The sinful twist of his lips strikes something in her. She has felt those lips on her, perhaps not in this life but definitely in another. She can feel it.
She’s breathless, the phantom feeling of his mouth on hers consuming her completely even as she speaks, “enough time for what?”
He slips his fingers between hers and she sighs, the feeling of their hands fitting so perfectly together overwhelming, “enough time to make you fall in love with me, obviously.”
Her mouth falls open and he laughs again, pulling her arm across the table and kissing her knuckles once more. Too late, she wants to scream, you don’t need an hour. She pulls her bottom lip between her lip, artificial bubblegum bursting across her tongue. His lips on her skin is too much; too much and not enough all at the same time. How is that even possible? 
She doesn’t need to ask herself the question again. No, this isn’t normal. Nothing about how she feels right now is normal. Not the way she wants to wrap her arms around Kai, not the way she feels like she knows him already, and especially not how she’s dreading leaving this town when normally she wants to run as far away from it as possible. The most not-normal thing about it all, though, is the way she wants to tell him each and every one of those things. She wants to grab his face, run her fingers through his gorgeous hair, and tell him everything she’s feeling right now.
But she can’t so instead she whispers, “what if I make you fall in love first, Malachai?”
Kai squeezes her hand tighter, his legs tangling with hers under the booth. His lips part, his tongue darting out and wetting his lips. Her heart hammers in her chest as she watches, ridiculously jealous at the notion of not getting to taste him in the same way. Her body floods with heat when his eyes twinkle, a response dancing on the very same, traitorous tongue, but before he can answer their waiter arrives, setting down a large pizza and turning to face her. He has blonde hair and an easy smile, one that would send most girls reeling. Matt Donovan. She remembers him from high school; he was a good kid but they never really ran in the same social circles. She doesn’t regret not knowing him, his group is part of the reason she left this town.
“Alright, one pizza. Is there anything else I can get for you,” he smiles at her and her heart doesn’t hammer anymore, it slows.
She tightens her fingers around Kai’s, her voice less melodic than moments ago, “no, this is great thank you.”
Matt nods, stalling a moment and smiling at her. She can feel Kai tense, his legs stilling against her own. Her eyes dart between the two and she catches the way his eyes narrow at the blonde, his head tilting as if calculating what he should do. His chocolate scent increases, if that’s even possible, wrapping around her like a blanket as he sits up straighter. Matt doesn’t even look at him, his eyes focussed on her and her alone.
“You sure I can’t get you anything else?”
She nods but before she can speak Kai answers, his voice clipped but a smile on his lips regardless, “actually,” his eyes lower to the nametag on Matt’s chest, “Matt, we’d love a box.”
Matt’s eyebrows scrunch and she giggles, a tad confused but deeply invested in the cruel twang to Kai’s voice. She meets his eyes, pulling her lip once more between her teeth and swallowing her heart that has crawled it’s way into her throat. Something about the way he’s holding himself- the way he taunts the boy she went to school with only a few years ago- makes her feel alive. Who would have thought that the bubblegum princess would get such a thrill from watching the devil go head to head with the boy next door? 
“A box?” she has to stifle another giggle, not wanting to appear rude despite how much joy she’s feeling.
Kai nods, ��please, and the check. We really should get going now.”
Her heart thrums, wondering what on earth he’s up to. She doesn’t care. It’s starting to become a recurring theme with this boy; how little she cares about anything but being in his presence. Each second that passes she falls deeper into something she can’t explain. Her heart jumps when Kai’s eyes meet hers, his smile softening from the malicious grin that he had been aiming at Matt. She shakes her head lightly, nudging his foot under the table and rubbing her calf against his. 
“Alrighty,” Matt grumbles, “I’ll get that for you right now.”
She watches as he walks away, turning back to the man across from her with a grin on her glossy lips, “how am I supposed to fall in love with you when you don’t even feed me?” 
He laughs, tugging her hand to his mouth. She’s starting to think that her hand belongs there, pressed against his lips for eternity. Every time his lips swipe across her knuckles she swoons, sparks tingling up her arm. If his lips feel this good against her hand then they must feel even better- no, nevermind that. 
“You can eat in the car,” he suggests, his eyes searching hers as he draws another knuckle to his mouth and nipping lightly with his teeth. 
The feeling of his teeth scraping against her skin sends her reeling, a shiver racing up her spine as she registers his words. In the car. She presses her lips together. What does that mean?
“Malachai?”
“Let me drive you back to school.”
Hour Three
Kai watches her steal the last piece of pizza and laughs, tossing the box into the back of his truck and pulling her closer on the bench seat. She tangles her fingers through his free hand and his heart explodes in his chest. His eyes lock on the road again but his thoughts are stuck on the beautiful girl beside him whose hands are wrapped around his arm. She clings to him, her bubblegum and cherry and just plain irresistible scent invading his senses. She leans her head against his shoulder, rubbing her cheek against his jacket, and he forgets that she hasn’t been in his life more than three hours. 
They’ve been driving for an hour, laughing and talking as the sun set. She’s told him about her major, about the books she reads and her parents. She’s spouted all the lines of her favourite movies and listed her favourite cities in order even though she’s only been to a couple. He, in turn, has told her about his favourite song. He told her about the time he broke his leg and how he isn’t usually like this. How he’s never like this. She agreed with that, taking the opportunity to tell him how focussed she usually is. He didn’t mind when she spoke over him. Had it been anyone else he would have but he could listen to her talk for ages. She makes hours feel like minutes- like seconds- and every sign they pass he gets more and more desperate. He doesn’t want to leave her. He wants more of the minute-like hours.
“What’s your favourite color,” she mumbles, running her nose over his arm.
He’s never understood why people care about favourite colors. It’s just so trivial, the answer always changing, that it’s never made sense to him. Is it possible to have a favourite color? He doesn’t think so. For some reason though, when she asks him and her voice goes high at the end of the question- as if she’s truly dying to know his favourite color- his heart stammers, not wanting to mess up the answer. He glances at her, his eyes finding her bubblegum cherry lips. Maybe he has a favourite color after all.
“Red,” Kai responds, running his thumb over her wrist and smiling when she shivers against him, “my favourite color is red.”
She hums appreciatively, her voice bouncing around the cab of his truck, “I like red too. It’s not my favourite though.”
Her fingers untangle from his, her hand landing on his thigh, using him for balance as she tucks her legs underneath her. Kai sucks in a breath at her touch, a tingle shooting up his spine. Her innocent eyes peer into his, no doubt still thinking about colors without a care in the world. His mind, on the other hand, couldn’t be further away from the color wheel. 
“Why’s that,” he forces out, his voice gravelly, “what’s your favourite color?”
“Black,” she answers and for a moment he doesn’t think about her hand still curled around his thigh, “I think I like the color black.”
He scrunches his eyebrows. Black. He wouldn’t have pegged her for a dark colors kind of girl. Every part of her screams light. Goodness. She seems like the type of girl who likes laying in the sun and eating ice cream on hot days and filling the bath with more bubbles than water. No, she doesn’t seem like she is; he knows she is. He doesn’t have to ask her to know that she is the complete opposite of him. 
Kai can’t stop himself from asking, “why the color black?”
She moves her hand back to his arm, wrapping both of her arms around his, and he lets out a sigh of relief. Well, relief mixed with frustration. He didn’t want her hand gone, he wanted it higher. He’ll take her wrapped around him though, it’s just as good. It’s better. He can think of a hundred different ways he would like this woman wrapped around him. 
She presses her lips to his shoulder and he wishes the stupid jacket would just burn, “because it suits you. I didn’t think I liked it before today but now I think there’s something beautiful about it.”
Kai’s hand finds her thigh, his heart pounding fiercely, “the color?”
She gasps lightly when he squeezes, a sound that hits him straight in the gut. He does it again, this time harder, and she presses her forehead against his shoulder, her soft moan tumbling against him. His hand tightens on the steering wheel at the sound. He has no idea how he managed to get an angel into his truck. How he convinced her that he was good enough to sit this close to her; good enough to hold her in his hands and hear her pleasure. 
“The darkness,” she whispers, her voice hitching when his hand slides higher, “I didn’t think I would like the darkness this much.”
He digs his fingers into her jean-clad skin, reveling in her warmth and the way she squeezes her thighs around his hand. He bites his cheek, barely containing his own moans. She’s not even touching him and yet the sound of her voice alone has him so close. His eyes read the next sign, sucking in a harsh breath. Ten more minutes and she’ll be out of his truck. 
Kai looks over at her- perhaps for what will be one of the last times- forcing a sharp smile to his lips, “this darkness is nothing, princess.” His voice is hoarse, his words soft but pained, “it’s just a glimpse. I don’t think you would like the real thing as much.”
He watches as her eyes widen, her mouth falling open a touch. Exactly, he thinks to himself, now you’re starting to get it. He clenches his jaw, going to move his hand from her heavenly thigh when she stops him, her hands closing around his wrist. His shoulders- among other things- tense as she drags his fingers to settle directly between her legs, using her hand to guide his motions and arching into his touch. Holy fucking shit. 
“Princess what-” Kai tries to process his thoughts clearly but he can’t; the heat seeping from her and her fingers pushing his to rub against her are much too demanding for him to form a coherent sentence.
The sign for her university comes into focus as he rubs his fingers harder against her. A soundtrack of her moans fills the cab of his truck, her hands wrapping like a vice against his arm as she presses her face once more against his shoulder. He curses, breathing in her sugary aroma, his chest flooding with heat. All he can think about is how he has to park this damn car before he crashes and doesn’t get to experience more of the exquisite creature next to him. She rolls her head back onto the seat, spreading her legs further for him, her hands never leaving his arm.
“Just try me, Malachai.”
Hour Four
She moans as Kai’s hands find the button of her jeans, the tires of his truck screeching as he finally pulls into her dorm’s parking lot. As soon as he shifts the gears into park she’s on him, grabbing the collar of his jacket and pulling his lips to her own. God, she was right, he tastes chocolate and mint gum. He groans into her mouth, one of his hands finding her hip and pulling her onto his lap while the other goes to her neck, pushing her lips against his. She presses against him, rocking against the hard bulge in his jeans and gasping against his mouth.
“Malachai,” she murmurs, her hands sliding through his silky hair, “I need you.”
He wraps his arms around her back, pressing his chest against hers and backing her into the steering wheel. Her heart thunders when his lips meet her jaw, nipping at her skin before sliding back to her lips and pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. 
“Fuck,” her body lights up at the throaty tone of his voice, “are you sure, princess?”
She nods, the words lodging in her throat as Kai’s lips trace to her neck, his tongue flattening against her pulse point. She’s sure alright. She’s never been more sure of anything. She wraps her hands around his back, clawing at his shoulders and mewling at his skilled lips. She tugs at his jacket, trying her best to convey her need for the material to disappear. The girl is rarely speechless but right now, when she needs her voice the most, it’s as if it’s nowhere to be seen.
“Off, please get it off,” she finally murmurs against his lips, her hands splayed hard against his jaw as he shrugs the jacket off, “I need to feel you.”
Kai’s fingers curl around the hem of her shirt, sliding underneath and around her back, his fingers digging into her spine deliciously. She rocks higher on his lap, her lips finding his throat and sucking his warm skin into her mouth. She runs her tongue against the hollow of his throat, smiling when he bucks his hips against her. Tingles shoot through her as he brushes against her and she lets loose another moan into his skin.
“More,” she fumbles, seeing stars behind her eyelids, “I need more. I need all of you, right now. Please.”
She doesn’t even know what she’s saying; she just knows if he doesn’t make love to her soon she’s going to literally combust. She slides her hands down Kai’s chest, her fingers slipping beneath his shirt and glimpsing at his hard muscles. Her fingers explore slightly and she reels when he tenses under her, a breathy moan of his own joining hers.
He crushes her against him, his head falling against the seat, “angel, I will do whatever the fuck you want me to but not in my truck.” His hand slides to her ass, squeezing so hard her core clenches, his name slipping from her lips, “I am not about to let just anyone watch me fuck you into next week. That’s mine and mine alone.”
She can hear exactly what he means; you’re mine and mine alone. It sends another wave of heat coursing over her, her core clenching again, harder, and she nods furiously against his neck, “my room. Now!”
He laughs, pulling his keys from the ignition and opening the door. She giggles with him, sliding out of the truck and all but dragging him with her. He kicks the door shut, his arms wrapped around her stomach and his face buried in the side of her neck. She squeals gleefully when he lifts her, her back pressed against his chest as he kisses the side of her neck and spins her around. The cold air nips at her stomach, exposed from where her shirt rides up. 
“Malachai,” she whines, her hand sliding behind her and into his hair, tugging a tad harshly, “please hurry, baby.”
“You’re no fun, angel,” he murmurs against her skin but sets her down nonetheless. 
She wraps her hands around his arm, tugging him to jog after her, her giggles spilling into the night, no doubt waking up some of the other students as she leads him through the campus. She doesn’t care, she hasn’t felt this free in ages. He laughs with her and the sound of his joy exhilarates her, lighting her whole being up with a dangerous kind of fire. It weighs down her limbs, pooling in her stomach and soaking her jeans. His hand links with hers, his fingers squeezing hers as her body tingles. She’s so close to her dorm she can taste it- taste him and everything he’s going to do to her- and she hurries quicker.
She tugs him around a corner and he stops abruptly. Her heart jumps in her throat, wondering for a moment if he’s changed his mind. When she turns to look at him, though, his dark eyes pour over her, his lip pulled between his teeth. He looks like he wants to take her right here on the stoop of a dorm that isn’t her own. She squeezes her thighs, trying to ignore the part of her that reels at the thought.
“Kai-”
He pushes her against the brick of her dorm building, his mouth slamming against hers, his tongue slipping between her lips, “Malachai, princess. That’s my name. Say it.”
She moans at his soft and stern tone, grinding her hips against his the best she can, “Malachai, I need you.”
He nods against her lips, his hands wrapping around her hips and pulling her up his body. She wraps her legs around him, sighing when he pushes her harder into the wall with his hips, pressing his hard length against her covered core and moaning into her mouth. His scent consumes her, lingering in her chest when he pulls back, his eyes consumed by darkness. Her heart thunders when his nostrils flare, her thighs clenching around him at the sight of his flushed cheeks.
“What room number,” he pants, grinding his hips and sending another relentless wave of heat racing through her.
She presses her mouth against his, her tongue lapping at his minty lips, “I’m in 102.” She tugs his bottom lip, pulling a heated groan from his chest, “it’s just a few doors down. Please, Malachai.”
She kisses down the side of his throat as Kai searches for her room, running her nose along his warm skin and sinking as far into his arms as possible. She tugs the key out of her bag when he slows, leaning away from him to unlock the door before turning the knob and all but falling into her room. She giggles as they stumble, pushing the door shut quickly and throwing her keys to the floor. No need for those anymore.
He tosses her on her bed and she can’t help but giggle at the feeling of her plush blanket, knowing soon it will be brushing her bare back as he slides into her. He makes quick work of her heels, pulling them off and tossing them to the side. She winces when she hears them clunk somewhere in her room- that loud sound better not have been one of them breaking, Kai- but is soon distracted when he kicks his own boots off, kneeling on the bed and crawling towards her. The bed sinks at his knees and her body thrums in anticipation.
As soon as he’s within arms reach she grabs him, her fingers twisting in his t-shirt as she hauls his body over hers. Well, she tells herself that she’s the one who brings him closer. In reality it’s he who complies, letting her command him in whichever way she so pleases. He leans down, finding her mouth and kissing her hard, lowering some of his weight onto her. She moans, pressing back against him and wishing that his clothes would just vanish already, their mutual affinity for jeans starting to become a problem.
“Angel, fuck,” he murmurs as her hands slide once more under his shirt and he grabs her fingers, pulling her wrists above her head, “I need permission right now before we keep going. Yes; I fuck you. No; we cuddle. I am more than fine with both options.” One of his hands slides down her belly and wraps around her hips, fire flaring everywhere he touches, “what’ll it be, princess?”
He hovers over her, his gray eyes soft on hers. For the first time tonight she can see them clearly and her breath hitches, an unexpected wave of emotion flooding her chest at the way he’s looking at her. All that talk about darkness and he’s anything but. She yanks her arms from his hand, instead loosely hanging them around his neck. She arches her chest as close to him as she can, feeling each layer of clothes between them in agonizing detail.
“As wonderful as cuddles sound,” she tangles her legs around his hips, pulling his hardness back to her heat, “I really need you to fuck me.”
A wicked grin settles over Kai’s face, his lips drawing to her ear and pulling the lobe between his teeth, tugging hard, his words sending shivers through her body, “then I think it’s high time these clothes go, don’t you?”
She nods, her voice choosing once more to vanish at the most inopportune moment. He pulls her onto her knees, his lips brushing her jaw softly as his hands find the hem of her shirt for the last time, dragging it slowly up her stomach and over her chest before finally discarding it next to the bed. His fingertips draw over her skin lightly, his pinkies grazing the valley of her breasts and his thumbs smoothing over her collarbones. Even the slightest touch makes her clench, knowing he’ll soon be putting those fingers to good work.
She thanks the heavens for a moment that she thought to put on a nice bra, her body flushing with heat when Kai sucks in a breath at the blue lace barely concealing her peaked nipples. His hands circle her waist, his thumbs trailing fire over her soft skin. He darts his tongue out again against his bottom lip, watching her breasts rise and fall with her breaths like a starved man. If a look could ever make someone come on the spot it would be this one. She takes a sharp breath, her chest swelling, the cups of her bra stretching, and his eyes darken.
“Fucking hell, you really are an angel, aren’t you?” he slides his hands up her ribcage, over the flimsy material covering her and flicking her hard nipples, his mouth falling open in a half smile at her breathy sounds, “my angel.”
She gasps, her eyes as wide as saucers, and Kai smiles, fully, his eyes flitting to hers as he does it again, watching her face as his fingers lazily sweep back and forth over her buds. Each brush of his fingers sends a jolt of electricity straight to her core, her body tensing at each pinch. Her hands jut out, grabbing onto his shoulders as to not fall over from the sensation. She squeezes her thighs, rubbing her jean clad legs together in her best attempt to quell the raging fire but it’s useless. Only he can put it out and he knows it, chuckling- a sound like ice cream melting on a hot day; slow and sweet- at her sweet agony before finally slipping behind her back, his fingers finding the clasp of her bra.
“Perhaps I should leave this on, hmm?” Kai teases and she whines, arching her back into his hand. “Watch the way you bounce,” he leans down, his mouth capturing one of her nipples through the lace, his tongue hot and wet against her, “the way the lace pulls.” His teeth find the edge of the cup gently, careful not to ruin it as he drags it over her chest. She jolts when his lips graze her nipple directly, a small taste of his electricity, “what do you think angel?”
As soon as her breast is free from the lace she digs her fingers through his hair, desperately pushing his face back to her chest, “please take it off.”
He laughs, his hot breath fanning her bud as his fingers pull at the hooks behind her back, finally releasing her from the suddenly constricting material. She hears it hit the floor but she doesn’t watch where it lands, her eyes locked on Kai’s as he lowers his mouth back to her nipple, his other palm sliding up her ribs to tease her other breast. His hair tickles her skin as he flicks his tongue over her, his fingers imitating the same sensation, twisting and flicking her peaked bud in time to the laps of his mouth. Her stomach twists, her core dripping from the stimulation. 
“Malachai,” she pleads, her fingers tugging at his hair, trying to find his eyes desperately, “please more. I need more.”
Kai tugs her nipple between his teeth, biting harshly and pulling a small hum of pleasure from her lips as waves of heat attack her body, “patience, angel.” He runs his tongue over her burning bud, soothing her skin once more, “I want you to feel everything. I want you to remember it- me.” He kisses across her chest, pressing his lips gently against her sternum, “every kiss-” he bites at her breast, sucking her skin roughly into his mouth, sending another jolt through her core, “every bite.” His hands drag down her stomach, lazily drawing circles as he teases the waistband of her jeans, “I want you to think about me in every class, I want my name to be the only thing you can say when you go to answer a question. That will take patience-” he kisses her stomach, his tongue dipping against her bellybutton and his fingers grazing the lace under her jeans, “but I think maybe these can go.”
She moans her agreement, the sound tearing from her throat as she nods, most likely once a coherent thought but now just a mess of want- of need. Kai quickly pops the button of her jeans, his fingers digging into the waistband and yanking, tugging her pants down in a way that very much goes against his wish for slow. She lifts her hips from the bed, helping him as much as she can to get the damn pants off. He chuckles as she writhes, each gentle laugh zeroing in on her now barely covered core and sparking little fires across her clit. The sound of the material finally pooling on her floor is like music to her ears but her eyebrows furrow when she looks at him, still completely clothed.
She sits up on her elbows, biting her lip, “come here,” she coos, her voice breathy and her chest heaving, “please, Malachai. C’mere,” she sighs when he complies, her fingers twisting his shirt when he settles between her thighs, “this should have come off ages ago.”
She clenches her bare thighs around his own jean covered legs, mewling as the rough material scratches deliciously at her skin.
“Of course, angel,” his nose skims over her neck as she pulls the material from his body, his voice low and teasing, her fingers gliding over the hard dips of his abdomen, “where are my manners.”
She hums happily- a kitten purring from some much needed attention- as he pushes her back, his sculpted stomach now fully on display for her viewing pleasure as the soft blanket tickles her bare skin. His attention is now focused on the matching, blue lace that is not even trying to conceal her core. Kai slides off her bed, kneeling beside her, and her mind races, her heart thumping hard in her chest. What are you-
Her thoughts are interrupted when his hands dig into her hips, tugging her so that her legs dangle off the bed. He spreads her thighs, his eyes latched on hers as he leans down, kissing the inside of her thigh much too lightly. Her fingers dig into the comforter as he pulls her legs over his now bare shoulders, his hot skin soothing her aching muscles. He plants another gentle kiss on her other thigh and she almost screams- do something Kai, do anything, please- her breath ragged as she watches his lips crawl closer to the soaked lace. She digs her heels against his back, hoping to spur him closer to her.
He runs his nose along the lace, straight down her clit and she gasps, the sensation like lava flowing through her veins, “Kai!”
He flicks his head up, squeezing her hips harder, “what did I already say about that, angel,” he kisses under her belly button, purposefully avoiding her throbbing nub, “what’s my name?”
His gray eyes are wild, filled with a hunger that makes her clench around her emptiness.
She digs her heels harder against him as his teeth tug at the lace, his name a delicious moan on her tongue, “Malachai.”
“Very good,” he praises, “you’re so good for me, baby.”
She moans again as he strikes gold, no response to the name other than pure lust filling her body. His hands tug at her panties, finally pulling the last article of clothing- if a piece of sheer lace even counts as clothing- from her body, exposing her pulsing clit to the cool air of her room. He sucks in a breath, leaning down to blow warm air against her, spreading her legs even further. She throbs, watching as he finally lowers his mouth, his tongue licking a stripe directly to her core and planting stars behind her eyes.
“Fuck, baby,” he moans, more to himself than her, his muscled arms wrapping around her thighs and crushing her to him, “I was right you taste like fucking candy. So damn sweet.”
He dives back against her, his hot tongue flicking her bud back and forth. Waves of white fire pour through her, compressing together in the pit of her stomach. Her fingers dig into the sheets, tugging at the plush comforter because she knows if she runs her fingers through Kai’s hair she might just rip it out. Her back arches, her breasts greeting the air as Kai’s tongue swipes straight to her core again, dipping into her heat before going back to her clit sucking hard. 
He moves one of his hands between her legs, his fingertips lazily circling her entrance as he continues to devour her, “so wet for me, baby. From the moment I first touched you,” he muses, his eyes finding hers over the arch of her sternum and swell of her breasts, “it’s like you knew I was coming.”
“Maybe I did,” she pants, squeezing her thighs around the man buried between her legs, letting out a strangled gasp when he sinks one of his fingers into her, “maybe ever since I locked eyes on you-” another gasp, this time from him pushing a second finger in and curling them both- “I’ve wondered how I’m going to forget you.”
He curls his fingers faster at her words, sucking that much harder on her nub. His eyes stay latched on hers, dark and determined. The ball of fire grows dangerously as his fingers brush over a spot- the spot- and she groans, her hand finding his hair. She doesn’t care anymore, tugging harshly on his silky hair and pushing his face as close to her as she can, grinding against his lips as her whole body starts to tingle. It’s like someone replaced her veins with fluorescents and Kai’s tongue is the outlet. 
“Well maybe,” Kai curls his fingers and her body jolts, teetering on the sweet edge of nothingness, “baby,” his voice is just this side of taunting, his tongue finding a tortuous rhythm, “I don’t want you to forget me.” 
He curls his fingers one more time and she falls- quite possibly in more than one way- over the edge, an earth shattering orgasm tearing through her entire body, “fuck, Malachai!”
Her body trembles in his arms, his fingers still twisting inside her, his mouth still latched to her, sucking and licking until she comes down from her high. She sinks back into her comforter, entirely spent and limbs heavy, his name still a moan on her lips. Her heat throbs, clenching and unclenching as she watches him stand. Maybe she isn’t so tired after all. She pushes her heels into her bed, crawling back towards her pillows as his hands find his belt, making quick work of the leather. He doesn’t bother pulling it from the loops, he just hooks his fingers in his jeans, his taut muscles heaving as he shoves his clothes off in one steady push.
She moans as her eyes land on everything he’s been keeping from her, her mouth watering at the sight of his thick, hard shaft bouncing slightly against his abs. She sinks back against her pillows, her toes curling at the thought of him- what was it Kai said? Oh, right- fucking her into next week. She stretches her arm out, her eyes lidded in anticipation and her nipples peaking once more, and curls her fingers at him. Come here, she almost screams, come burn yourself into my very being. She’s doing her best to remain composed but her skin is flushed, the feeling of his lips still fresh on her body, and her core aches to be filled with something more than his fingers. 
He kneels on the bed once more, his lips tilted and his eyes dark, and he crawls back to her body. He grabs her thighs when he reaches her, pushing her knees to her chest and baring her core him, stretching her muscles deliciously. She grabs his shoulders, digging her fingers into his warm skin and tugging him to hover over her, her legs pressed between them. His shaft presses against her still sensitive clit and she hisses, giggling slightly from the stimulation.
“Angel,” Kai murmurs, his lips pressing against hers as he rocks his hips against her, his tip teasing her entrance, “fuck, just tell me you don’t want to forget me.” He pushes in a few inches and she gasps, cooing at the way he’s already stretching her walls, “tell me you’re mine-” he pushes further, his eyes locking on hers and making her core tighten, her fingers digging harder into his skin. “Tell me you’re mine even if you’re lying.”
He pushes all the way into her, his thighs pressed against hers and his hand shoved into the pillows beside her head, keeping him from falling against her. She feels the most full she’s ever felt, her heat pulsing as he gives her a moment to adjust. She can feel each breath he takes, each slight bump of his hips as he holds himself back, each twitch inside her like he’s a lit match and her body is a temple about to be burned to the ground. She shifts against him and a line of fire zings straight from her bellybutton, a tremor of pleasure shocking her heart. Burn me, please, she chants in her head.
“How could I forget about you?” She breathes, her mouth falling open when he slowly pulls back, only to snap his hips back into hers, driving himself deeper than the first time, “why would I- ah,” Kai presses his chest against her knees, pushing her further into the mattress and leaning on his forearms, circling his hips and stealing the air from her lungs, “I’m yours, Malachai.” She resigns, her train of thought long gone, “all yours.”
“Absolutely right, baby,” he growls, pulling out of her again and slamming back into her as soon as the words are out of her mouth, “mine.”
His hand grabs her knee, pulling her legs apart to wrap around him as he settles into a faster pace. She wraps her arms around his neck, her fingers anchoring in his hair and tugging his lips to hers. She squeezes her thighs around his hips, her toes curling from his bruising pace, whining when he almost pulls all the way out of her once again before thrusting back. She arches her spine, her chest bouncing against his as he circles her arm around her back, pulling her flush against him.
She drags a hand down Kai’s back, her nails digging against his skin and drawing a sinful moan from him. His lips latch on to her jaw as he thrusts harder into her, his arm sliding behind her neck and holding her closer, “fuck, you’re so tight-”
He lifts to his knees, bringing her with him and shifting the angle of his thrusts, his shaft brushing the same spot from before. She lets go of his shoulders, falling back into her pillows to grip her fuzzy sheets for dear life. She can feel the fire from before start building again, only this time hotter, and she rocks back against him, doing her best to match his pace but it’s impossible. He has her legs around his waist still, her bottom half clean off the mattress as he pounds her top half into the pillows; there is nothing for her to do but let the pleasure wash over her. 
Kai pulls her leg further up his chest, hanging it from his shoulder as he smirks, tugging his lip between his teeth, “if only you could see how pretty you look princess, all stretched out for me.” She clenches at his words, the ball of fire pulsing dangerously, and he tightens his hand on her thigh, his eyes going dark, “do you like it when I praise you baby?” His voice is throaty and she can feel him twitch, just as close to coming undone as she is, and her walls clamp around him harder this time, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“More,” she begs, screwing her eyes shut and letting the sound of his voice push her closer to the cliff, “tell me more. Please!”
He sucks in a sharp breath, his hips slamming impossibly harder against hers, brushing that magical spot relentlessly. His fingers slide down her leg, dragging through her folds to find her throbbing nub, circling his fingers lightly and drawing a strangled scream from her lips.
“And what should I tell you, hmm?” He presses harder against her clit, his fingers picking up the pace to keep time with his increasingly sloppier thrusts, “should I tell you that you look exquisite wrapped around my cock?” She moans, his words making white flash behind her eyes, her core squeezing and sending the first taste of her second orgasm spiraling through her, “that I can’t wait to flip you over in a minute and make you cum again,” her legs jerk, the second wave so much more intense than the first, so much more earth shattering, “and again,” he pushes into her one last time, throwing them both over the edge, “and again, angel.”
Her whole body splinters when he empties himself into her, meeting her release with his with a shuddered breath. She can’t even scream his name- god, she certainly tries though- the white, hot pleasure coursing through her veins, stirring a new life into her bones, only allows her to whisper it. Mouth it over and over again as he collapses against her sticky chest. Fuck, Malachai. He pulls out of her and she hisses, swallowing the last wave of electricity as she stretches her bones, delighting in the careful pop of her joints. 
“Fuck,” Kai rolls onto his back, his eyes shut and his mouth wide open, “that was-” he props himself up on his elbow, his eyes now open and swimming over her face, “that was just wow, baby. Fucking wow.”
She giggles breathlessly, her legs jelly as she turns to him, reaching her arms out. Her body still craves him, her skin aching to press against his in a way she’s never experienced. He wastes no time scooping her up, wrapping an arm behind her knees and pooling her on his chest. His other hand glides up her spine, his fingers pressing hungrily into her flesh. Her thighs slip around his hips as she sinks against his chest, her face finding the crook of his neck. His hands work at the kinks in her shoulders and she shivers, her body starting to light up again.
“Fucking wow,” she agrees as she presses her lips against his throat, squeezing her thighs as his fingers draw lower again, swiping over the dip at the base of her spine as she murmurs a soft, “you don’t have to leave yet, do you?” 
Kai’s body tenses under hers and her heart stutters, her chest stinging- oh, maybe he does. 
“If you do though that’s okay,” she rushes out quickly, pushing her hands against his chest to put some distance between the two of them, “I don’t want to keep you if you, uh, have places to be, I guess-”
He tightens his arms around hers, sitting up quickly, keeping her in his arms as he does so, “I have nowhere to be but here.” He presses his lips against hers and she sighs, reveling in his slightly salty taste, “nowhere I want to be but here, princess”
She nods, brushing her nose against his, “okay.”
Her fingers tangle through his matted hair and he sighs, leaning down to brush her back. Okay. It’s not what she wants to say- something more along the lines of please never leave- but she can settle for it for now. She shifts to straddle his thighs better, pressing her chest against him and sighing at the growing electricity. Round three it is. When she kisses him back she can swear she tastes a hint of her bubblegum gloss on his lips.
“Okay,” he agrees.
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mammons-tax-returns · 4 years ago
Note
Hey! I saw that your ask box was open, so I was wondering if I could request how the brothers (if not all then just Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Leviathan) would react to the mc defending them! Like they get into a fight and their only response was "they were talking bad about you" or something! -🥀 (Also side note, do you right for GN! MC's, or just male?)
BROTHERS REACTING TO MC DEFENDING THEM
Hey anon! Thanks so much for requesting! As for your question, This is TECHNICALLY a male reader blog, however, if it isn’t necessary, I will use he/him pronouns loosely. In other words, if the prompt doesn’t specify/depend on it being a male mc, it will be gn!mc! Hope this clears up some confusion! I’ll start putting whether a post is for a gn or male mc at the very beginning of said post from now on.
✖️GENDER NEUTRAL MC✖️
fluff, some angst :).
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Lucifer was more angry than anything to hear that MC had gotten in a fight. The one thing he made sure they did was to stay out of trouble. And yet, they seem to be a magnet for chaos.
He stumbled upon the fight before it got bad, and had the demon dealt with as he accompanied MC to an empty room at RAD.
Although he seemed to be sweating out of exasperation, it was easy to tell that he was simply worried about them.
Well. Kind of.
If you look past the hour-long lecture it is.
MC tries countless times to explain themself, and yet he never fails to reroute the conversation back to his lesson on running from a demon before things get bad.
It gets to a point when MC has to put a hand over his mouth to quiet him.
Only then do they explain what happened, and what caused the fight to begin with.
First, he is absolutely shocked. And he can’t really find the right thing to say.
Then, his eyes relax, and his frown seems to melt away. He truly wants to be mad still, to teach a proper lesson. But he just can’t do it.
“It is true that humans tend not to think things through, I suppose.”
He crosses his arms and continues, “Well, I appreciate it, but I don’t need the protection.”
After ruffling their hair, he smirks a little.
“I’ll have to keep a closer eye on you if you rush into situations like that. Maybe put you on a leash.”
After things are cleared up, he finds the situation a little comical. A human defending a demon.
Luckily, the wounds aren’t bad, or else Lucifer wouldn’t have hesitated giving some sort of consequence to the MC.
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Mammon is, unfortunately, not around to witness or intervene into the fight.
So when the next time he sees MC there’s a dark magenta ring around their eye, he loses it.
He wastes no time taking them home from RAD. We know he never really cared for classes anyways.
Unlike Lucifer, he wants to hear them out on the way home.
Although he physically feels himself getting butterflies in his stomach from the idea of being cared for, he clears his throat and tries to push it aside.
He knows that they’re not going to be taken away from him anytime soon. At least, not with his unintentionally vice grip on their wrist they aren’t.
And yet he can’t help but constantly flick his gaze back to them and their wounds.
We were all waiting for this one: he feels horrible that they got hurt because of him, albeit indirectly.
He puts emphasis on steering clear of hotheaded demons— or, all demons that aren’t the brothers for that matter.
“I hear ya, The Great Mammon is a gem that all of devildom should be tryna’ protect! But... You’re better off ignoring that... I mean, look at ya! All beat up and stuff... N-Not that you look bad or anything. Well... Um.”
When MC laughs at him, he’s both relieved that they’re not upset enough to sulk, and embarrassed because of his wording.
So they have to reassure him that they simply find him worth protecting— for exactly this. He cares for them, and is probably willing to protect them too.
As he’s sloppily tending to their bruises, he offers to spend the day with them.
He says its his payment, and that he would defend them when Lucifer found out about today.
But it’s more so the fact that he wishes more than anything to spend every day for the rest of his demonic life with them.
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Levi is another brother who is unfortunately not around at the time due to his home schooling.
That’s why he’s one of the last people to find out about it, and he feels guilt hit him like an 18-wheeler.
The injuries are a little more severe, but nothing that would keep someone from going about their daily life. Nonetheless, Levi is demanding to be the one to patch them up.
As soon as MC cuts him off before he can start rambling, they make sure to explain the situation, i.e. “I had to defend you! Or else they would have kept talking bad about you.”
He turns red and covers his mouth, undoubtedly mumbling something about how impossibly romantic the situation was.
But after that, he shakily asks that MC tries not to talk as he takes time to let everything sink in. He still can’t believe it.
So he finds himself shakily asking questions like, “So... You just heard him and decided to-... To defend me? No one asked you to?”
For every reassuring nod that he gets, he feels his head spin a little faster.
It takes him a while, but all the wounds are properly sterilized and taken care off beneath his cold fingers.
He leans back in his seat, and blows out a slow puff of air. “MC... You’re badass. Seriously. I don’t really know what I, a demon, have done to deserve you... But... Thank you.”
The conversation ends with tears, but they couldn’t have been anything but happy.
He just can’t believe someone could go as far as to fight for his sake over a simple ill-intended comment.
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Satan witnesses the event. Which... May or may not be a good thing.
MC doesn’t notice him at first. They’re too busy with the demon that has her hands on their uniform collar.
But then they see the green flames licking at their peripherals, emitting from somewhere behind them.
The demon girl in front of them seems to lose all color in her face at the sight of those same flames. She instantly drops MC to their knees, and attempts to run.
As Satan steps forward to grab the female student, he spins MC around with ease so that they won’t have to witness whatever he’s about to do.
MC doesn’t know how much time has passed due to the shock of the moment. It could be seconds or minutes. But when Satan pulls them back up to their feet, he is stone faced.
MC walks stiffly to the House of Lamentation with Satan, careful not to set anything else off in him.
The entire walk to his room is silent. The first time he speaks is when he offers a seat on his bed, nudging books aside with his foot.
He takes a deep breath before he begins diligently tending to the injuries.
“Mind explaining what happened?” He doesn’t sound angry at them, but it’s hard to tell with him.
Satan notices the hesitation in answering, so he gives a small smile. “Are you scared? You shouldn’t be. I’m just a bit... Tense, is all.”
After a moment, MC tells him the reasoning for the fight.
Satan sighs once more and places a hand on theirs. Oh to be so selfless yet still be a fragile human.
“MC... Demons talk. And it’s not always nice. It’s best to just let it go, okay? Well... Give me their name first, but I can’t have you losing a limb for me. Who knows what i’d do then.”
MC can’t completely promise that they’ll simply forget about anyone that talks badly about him, but Satan only gives a helpless sigh.
“What ever will we do with you.” He is much more relaxed than before, and his tone is affectionate.
MC doesn’t know what happened to that girl, and you figure it’s best to never ask.
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Asmodeus is preoccupied with a hand mirror, but a circle of gathering demons certainly catches his attention.
He hums, interested. He’s always been one for drama.
But as he peeks over the crowd, his heart sinks impossibly deep in his body.
MC isn’t bloody, but by the looks of it, they may be very soon.
While he’s ridden with shock, a punch lands on their face, and the crowd roars. The yells overtake his own, and he can’t get through the group of people pushing and shoving.
Diavolo and Barbatos were alerted of the congregation of students, and are only just now arriving. And at the sight of them, students scatter like bugs. Leaving MC on the ground and clutching their face in pain.
Diavolo and Barbatos leave MC in the care of Asmodeus while they turn to resolve the problem with the attacker.
Asmodeus is frantic, fanning his face as he helps MC to sit up. He doesn’t know what to do first, does he ask to see the wound? But what’s the point when he doesn’t really know how to treat it in any circumstance? No one has ever socked him in the face before.
So he opts to carry them off to the infirmary, bridal style. All along the way, he gives reassuring words that seem to slightly calm the injuried MC.
“Hey, beautiful! Ughh, the nerve of some demons! I can’t even begin to— Oh right... The ice pack, I’ll get that now, so sit tight, love!”
While he allows them to press the ice to their eye themself, he is massaging his frowning face. All while he seems to be worried about all the wrong things.
“Is this type of injury permanent on humans?? Your face is too good for that!” “That low-level demon... I wish I could ruin his face a hundred times worse than what he’s doing to innocent bystanders!”
MC patiently allows him to vent, because hearing him fret of the most “Asmo” things somehow brought light to the situation and distracted from the throbbing in their face.
An hour must have passed before Asmo actually takes in the situation. “Oh, but I haven’t even asked... What in devildom were you doing with such a grotesque demon? Do I have to replace Mammon in guarding you?”
Finally, MC explains.
He’s less than shocked. Instead, he holds his own arms with an almost sympathetic smile, “Oh, darling... It’s better to talk to Lucifer about things like that... If at all. As the Avatar of Lust, It’s kind of part of the program to get nasty birds twittering about you... Fan behavior.”
MC seems less than convinced, replying with a small, “But...”
Asmo grins and puts a gentle hand on their shoulder. “It’s adorable that you’d do that for me, MC, really. I wish I could just dress you up and show you to the world, show them how special you make me feel! But please. Don’t sacrifice your complexion for a-ny-thing!”
Even Asmo can feel himself get butterflies when MC does the smallest of things for him. But taking care of that face is no joke to him.
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Beel is at the gym when it happens, and is the last one to hear about it. The brothers are all discreetly trying to decide whether or not to tell him. We all know how scary he can get.
MC listens to Mammon... For some reason. And that entails avoiding Beel until the scrapes and bruises on your body heal.
Bad idea. Beel now looks like a hurt puppy, and is desperately trying to figure out what he has done.
The fateful moment of realization for him comes on a Tuesday night, less than a week after the incident. MC walks into the kitchen, searching for a late night beverage to drink and also hold against their wounds.
Beel is already there, instantly looking ashamed when he sees them.
“Beel...” MC starts, forgetting that they were supposed to be avoiding him. They stop themselves before hastily pulling their sleeves down to cover the lingering bruises.
This catches Beel’s attention to detail when it comes to others.
His eyebrows furrow a bit, and MC gulps.  There was no getting out of this.
Before completely explaining everything, MC has to calm him.  Because if not, he’d be checking every inch of their body for serious injuries.  And even if there were none, he’d never let them leave bed for the next week.  At least.
They take a deep breath and start with the people poking fun at his soft personality in such an intimidating body.  And then finishing with the plan of steering clear of him to keep him from getting worried.  (you leave out mammon’s part last second)
At first, his eyes are serious as he listens intently, silently going over things more than once in his head to ensure that he was understanding the story properly.
Once MC has finished, his eyes change completely.  They’re soft, and concerned, but not overbearing.
MC felt a bit guilty seeing him like this.
Beel reaches out to hug them, but is hesitant, worried that they’d still be hurt.  So MC has to let him know that their wounds have healed for the most part.
“MC....  Firstly, thank you.” He pulls them into a soft hug.  “It makes me all happy on the inside when you do things like that.” His voice is quiet, but much too unstable.  MC knew that this was a telltale sign that he was near tears.
MC doesn’t hesitate to reach up and stroke the back of his hair, feeling him bury his head into their shoulder.
“Beel? Are you okay?”
“I should be the one asking you that.”
‘you should know better’ is what he wants to say. But maybe they don’t, he thinks. Afterall, when was the last time a human with such limited magical capability was surrounded by demons 24/7?
“I just need you to promise me.” He carefully pulls back and sucks in a breath, keeping himself from imagining MC scared and hurt without him— because of him.
“Promise me that you’ll tell me about things like that first. Before you get yourself hurt, or... Or worse.” There’s another word that he has to stop himself from saying. He doesn’t know how he could handle that thought.
There, he thinks. If they didn’t know before how serious it was, now they did. Hopefully.
The brothers notice that Beel is a bit more normal than the days before, so they assume that things have been cleared up for the two.
Although they have to pretend as if they had never heard about the incident when he mentions it.
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Belphie was definitely not there when it happened.
But unlike with every other brother, MC was unable to be saved immediately after having found themselves in a brawl with a low class demon.
MC silently curses as they find themselves limping through the halls of the House of Lamentation.
They’re lucky to have only gotten out of that with an injured ankle, they remind themself. It didn’t seem... Broken. But it definitely needed more medical attention than it received now— A knee-high sock they pulled off of their foot wrapped tightly around a ruler they used as a makeshift splint.
They were sure that the majority of the brothers were at school, so they’d have at least a few hours to figure out what to do.
How would the brothers react if they saw them like this? Would they feel that this was a mere inconvenience? Afterall, this may just be a bad sprain, and now look at them. They can barely limp. Much less walk. But maybe after a bit of rest, it would magically heal.
They decide to head to the music room (?), where they knew that none of the brothers would immediately run into after school.
After finding a stool to sit on, MC hisses when they bump their ankle on the floor. The throbbing seemed to shake their whole body.
“Holy shi—“
“MC?”
A sleepy drawl from the couch behind them causes them to freeze. They wanted to slap themself. Of course Belphie would be sleeping here, why didn’t they think of that?
“What’re you doing h—....” He stops.
MC can already tell that he had noticed the poor job they had done with their ankle. “I fell down the stairs. But it’s okay, I just—“
“MC. I’m not stupid. Why are you home so early, alone? If you skipped or left early, Mammon would have sniffed you out like a dog and be here, too. Spill it.”
If Belphie was good at anything (besides sleeping), it was reading emotions. There was no lying anymore. And so MC simply explained the fight and its causes.
When they turn to look at him, he simply blinks. He doesn’t seem very concerned, but he sleepily walks over to inspect their leg.
He’s careful to support their foot as he lifts their entire leg, checking the swelling.
“... Geez. You’re stupid.” His eyebrows knit together with an unknown emotion. Worry? Irritation? A mix of both? “I don’t care about what such irrelevant demons think, and you shouldn’t either.”
MC is a little speechless, but only laughs. “Yeah. It was a little dumb looking back at it. But you should have heard them, Belphie... There was no way I’d go without a fight, okay?”
Belphie smiles back. “If you wanted to prove yourself to me... There were other ways, you know?”
“Should we get Beel to help us set up the pillow fort?”
“Well, how else are you gonna heal? You can’t get better if you don’t rest with me.”
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immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 years ago
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#10: Felix, Part Two: The Episode Itself
Here’s Part 1
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So, uh... here's the thing. I was going to divide this post into three parts, but I had to cancel the third part where I analyze the stuff involving Astruc defending the episode on Twitter, specifically a certain scene that really showed off some serious double standards in regards to the way Adrien is being written, because Astruc deleted most of his tweets regarding the episode. I wonder why he did that? I thought he wanted to expose himself publicly and interact in a peaceful way.
So yeah, instead of a big three-parter, this is going to be a two-parter, and I apologize for that. I might be able to do a third part if anyone has any screenshots of some of the tweets Astruc made after “Felix” aired. If you did, I would really appreciate it, but if not, it's fine.
Either way, let's just get this over with, because I have SO MUCH to talk about. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about Season 3, Episode 23 of Miraculous Ladybug, “Felix”?
So we start off with what Gabriel does for half of his scenes when he isn't Hawkmoth, monologuing to his (possibly) dead wife, Emilie about how Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous will soon be his and all that crap. Sure, he's sent God knows how many Akumas after Ladybug and Cat Noir, and they've all failed miserably, but I'm positive he's getting close to his goal.
After he finishes cleaning his and Emilie's silver wedding rings that sadly don't allow them to transform into Ultraman Ace, Gabriel goes to check on Adrien, singing to a statue of Emilie (glad to see the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree), intending to tell him that he is Hawkmoth.
Gabriel: There is something important I have to talk to you about. I think about telling you every day, but I don't know how to find the right words.
Adrien: I think I already know, father.
Gabriel: But, how?
Adrien: I've noticed how close you and Nathalie have become. If she can make you happy again, then... as far as I'm concerned, she's already part of our family.
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Yeah, apparently it's obvious that Gabriel and Nathalie are close or something, with how casually Adrien assumes they're planning on starting a relationship. I mean, it's not like Nathalie is close to Gabriel because she's his secretary or something like that.
Gabriel's response isn't any better, as he immediately jumps down Adrien's throat for daring to assume he might try to move on from his wife.
Gabriel: How could you possibly think such a thing?! Nobody could ever replace your mother! As long as she is still in our hearts, she lives on!
Even Adrien's face shows he's a little taken back by his father's brief outburst.
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Part of me likes to assume that Plagg is trying to not break out into laughter at how crazy Gabriel sounds, while Nooroo is mentally questioning the sanity of his master.
Plagg: Wow! Your father's like a piece of tomme cheese, where the rind's so thick it's almost impossible to get inside the center.
Adrien: Don't be so hard on him, Plagg. It's been a year today since Mom... went away forever.
Oh my God, just say she DIED already! Why are so many kids' shows afraid to say the D-word? How can I cite an episode of Caillou of all shows as something that that actually talked about death to it's audience in a nuanced way?
It turns out that Adrien's aunt is visiting for the day, as it's the one-year anniversary of Emilie's “going away forever”. We also learn that the gene pool in Adrien's family is so shallow, a toddler could swim in it, because Emilie's sister looks exactly like her.
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Even better, her name is Amelie. I bet the parents thought naming their kids Emilie and Amelie was hilarious for like three minutes.
And of course, she also brought her son, the asshole of the hour.
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Someone cue the Imperial March.
So Felix is finally here, and of course, he looks just like Adrien. It's almost like the animators didn't want to create any new character models for this episode, so they thought nobody would notice if they just reused a few. Seriously, towards the end of the episode, we see Felix wearing the Cat Miraculous on his hand, and none of the animators noticed it.
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So while Adrien is happy to see his cousin, Felix isn't. I'll talk more about it in a minute.
Amelie mentions that the wedding rings are actually heirlooms in her side of the family, so she naturally wants them back. Of course, Gabriel, being Gabriel, responds accordingly.
Gabriel: These rings are obviously very special to me.
Amelie: And they're very dear to me too, Gabriel. Those jewels have always been in the Graham de Vanily family, not the Agreste's.
Gabriel: We'll discuss it later.
“Yeah, yeah, these rings are priceless family heirlooms or whatever, but why can't you think about how important they are to me?”
Meanwhile, Marinette and her friends are planning on recording some messages for Adrien to cheer him up on this day, but Marinette isn't sure what to say before she decides to confess her love to him. I'm sure Adrien will get the message and return Marinette's feelings this episode... and Cliff Hanger will finally escape that cliff he's been hanging from for years.
Speaking of, Adrien and Felix are hanging out in the former's room where we learn that Felix's father passed away recently. We don't know how long, but with the way they talk about, it's clear the funeral wasn't too long ago. Keep this in mind.
So while Adrien leaves the room to get a chess board for the two to play a game of, Felix, for no reason, decides to search through Adrien's things and crush a piece of cheese that Plagg had been aging for two weeks. And here is the interaction that helps this episode go from mediocre to aggravating, just because of what they imply here.
Adrien: Listen, Plagg. Felix lost his dad not so long ago, he's probably not himself.
Plagg: I'm sorry, but there's just no excuse! You never touch my cheese, and yet, you just lost your mother not so long ago, right?
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Yes. The show is actually implying that Adrien is better than Felix because Adrien isn't acting out because his mom “went away forever”. Keep in mind, we know that Felix just lost his father, while Adrien has had a year to cope. I'm not saying he can't be sad anymore, as everyone processes grief differently, but you can't set up Felix as a foil to Adrien just because they both lost a parent, as their situations are entirely different.
Oh, and when Plagg's statement upsets Adrien, it isn't because he's angry at Plagg for making the comparison, it's because he mentions Emilie. And this argument is never brought up again.
I still can't believe this episode is basically saying that even if you lose a loved one, that's no excuse to get emotional. This isn't just a horrible lesson to teach children, but it pisses me off on a more personal level. Why?
My grandfather died last year after a long battle with lung cancer.
He had been in and out of the hospital for a few years at this point, and part of me was relieved that he was finally free of the pain. I tried not to let it bother me, as I had already mentally prepared myself for the day he would die whenever he was readmitted to the hospital. But it was still painful to go through because he was so important to me. Instead of simply telling someone how I was feeling, I threw myself into my schoolwork in an effort to distract myself from actually confronting my emotions. After seeing A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, a movie where the main character made peace with his father on his deathbed with some encouragement from Mr. Rogers, it made me think about how unhealthy it was to bottle up my emotions, so I started to open up more about how I was feeling. When I told my mom (who was his daughter) about why I was so conflicted regarding his death, she said it was completely understandable, as she had been an emotional wreck as well. I also talked with my therapist about how this was affecting me mentally.
What does this have to do with the episode? I don't think Felix had access to this kind of emotional support when his dad died, or that he tried coping the same way I did initially.
And the worst part is that this could have been used to teach people a lesson on how to cope with losing a loved one. Maybe Adrien could have helped Felix find a healthier coping mechanism, or simply help him open up emotionally, teaching him that it's okay to be upset when someone close to you dies, but that you just need to be honest about your feelings.
But no, rather than portray Felix's actions as a troubled youth lashing out because he's angry at the cards the world dealt him, Felix does several awful things this episode for no other reason than because he's evil, even though he has a good reason to hate Adrien and Gabriel.
So the very next scene, we see Felix has stolen Adrien's phone and is going through the messages that Adrien's friends sent him, but not before insulting his crush on Ladybug. I'm not sure if that's supposed to reflect the fandom's criticism of Adrien's crush on Ladybug, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.
Nino's Message: Hey, my dude! I'm not quite sure what to tell you, except that, you're my man, dude! And bros are always there for their guys!
Felix: (Mockingly) “Bros are always there--” blah, blah, blah! Moron.
Rose's Message: Unicorns have a saying: even when there's nothing but gray skies and rain, all it takes is one little sunbeam for a rainbow to appear!
Felix: Loser.
Max's Message: It's one hundred percent proven, you should feel fifty-two percent happier with a healthy dose of laughter. So Markov has uploaded a few jokes for you! Starting with--
Felix: Freak.
Chloe's Message: When my mother left for New York, I felt so sad. It felt like she was... (sighs) She came back, and I know how lucky I am. So, you can count on me, my Adrikins.
Felix: Chloe. Just as annoying as usual.
And that line right there is the only time Astruc actually liked writing Felix, as it gave him the chance to satisfy his need to insult Chloe.
And then when he sees Marinette's message, he deletes it because... hell if I know
Again, this scene could have worked if it was interpreted as Felix saying stuff that he wasn't dependent on others for support and that he could easily power through life on his own, but nope! Instead, he hates Adrien's friends and only deletes Marinette's message instead of all of them simply because he's evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle.
Felix continues to show how awful he is by dressing up in Adrien's clothes and—Oh, son of a bitch, SERIOUSLY? This is the SEVENTH evil doppelganger plotline we've had in THREE SEASONS! You're telling me this isn't doing the same thing over and over again, Astruc?
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Yeah, so Felix records some messages to send to his friends that, once again, could have worked if this episode was actually teaching a lesson about dealing with grief.
“Adrien's” Message:  First of all, thanks so much for all your messages, guys, really. Sending me messages on today of all days... (angrily) to remind me how sad I'm supposed to be feeling? Why, that's great! Really, Thanks a lot!
But because nobody ever considers how Felix is feeling, it's never acknowledged, because that would actually involve writing him with complexity.
Gabriel gets a message from Lila, who recently became one of his confidants to spy on Adrien, tells him about the fake message, and decides to use the negative emotions felt as an excuse to get rid of his in-laws. No, seriously.
Gabriel: All this disappointment might just help us get rid of our unwanted guests.
To be fair, I'd probably do the same thing just so I wouldn't have to talk to some of the people I hate at my job.
And so, Hawkmoth akumatizes Alya, Juleka, and Rose into the Punisher's Trio, who are basically just their previously akumatized forms Lady Wifi, Reflekta, and Princess Fragrance. Because why would you expect anyone to use an original character model for this episode?
All joking aside, this development raises several questions. First, why wasn't Nino one of the Punisher's akumatized? He's Adrien's best friend, so shouldn't be just as upset as everyone else? Hell, the whole reason he was akumatized into the Bubbler in Season 1 was just so he could throw Adrien a birthday party after Gabriel said no. Then there's the fact that Chloe could have also been akumatized because she's just as close as Adrien, which is another wasted opportunity here.
Second, why bring back Reflekta and Princess Fragrance of all villains? It doesn't even make sense when you consider their motifs are based off of the circumstances that led to them getting akumatized in their respective episodes. Juleka became Reflekta because of her anxiety over easily blending in, so she got the power to turn everyone into an exact copy of herself so they could understand the feeling. Rose became Princess Fragrance when Chloe destroyed her letter and perfume bottle dedicated to the prince of a foreign nation, so the perfume bottle was the basis of her powers. At least Lady Wifi makes sense as the akumatized object this episode is a tablet used to record the messages to Adrien, but Reflekta and Princess Fragrance have nothing to do with the plot of this episode, and just feel tacked on. If it was just Lady Wifi or the Bubbler, I'd get it, but this just doesn't work.
Third, what exactly is this show's obsession with Reflekta? We saw in Reflekta's first episode that her powers had a huge drawback as if either of the heroes is zapped by her, she can't get their Miraculous, like what we saw happened to Cat Noir. Yet, this is the second time this season that Hawkmoth had the bright idea to bring back Reflekta (even giving her a giant robot to amplify her powers). At least Lady Wifi and Princess Fragrance's powers worked together well (Lady Wifi could freeze someone in place, while Princess Fragrance can brainwash them with her perfume), but Reflekta just feels like the odd one out here.
Fourth, and most importantly, why did we only get to hear the line “At your service, Princess Fragrance!” A single time this episode?
So the Punishers head to Adrien's house to take their revenge, but see Felix, still dressed in Adrien's clothes, and are naturally confused. Adrien pretends to be Felix by running away while laughing evilly (so not too far off from how Astruc sees Felix), while the real Felix and Nathalie put up a good fight against the Punishers.
And then... here is the moment that shows just how skewed Astruc's view of Adrien really is.
Felix pretends to confess his love to Ladybug as Adrien, trying to force a kiss on him, making Ladybug punch him in the face by claiming that the real Adrien “would never be so pushy”.
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BULL. SHIT.
Yes, Ladybug doesn't know that Adrien is actually Cat Noir, but it's clear that this scene is meant to solidify just how Felix is far worse than Adrien because according to Astruc, he would never do that.
But maybe I'm being too hard on him.
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It's not like Adrien has ever forced himself onto Ladybug, right?
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I mean, imagine if the show just ignored something like that.
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All while trying to teach kids the importance of saying no when someone harasses them.
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Can you imagine if someone was that oblivious to their own hypocrisy?
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I'm not saying that the lesson is a bad one, but you can't call someone out for doing something bad, and then ignore one of your main characters doing the exact same thing!
Even in the context of the episode, the comparison doesn't work. We know that Felix is only doing this to make Adrien look bad, and has no romantic feelings towards Ladybug like Adrien does. Felix knows what he is doing is wrong, while Adrien doesn't. Whenever Cat Noir tries to kiss Ladybug, he is never aware that what he is doing is wrong, and while he is almost always stopped from kissing Ladybug for one reason or another.
Like when the episode tried to compare two different characters reacting to losing loved ones when there are different circumstances regarding them, the comparison DOESN'T WORK.
And to add insult to injury, Cat Noir shows up just to insult Felix by implying he doesn't have a lot of friends because of the way he acts, because why would he? After all, he's a complete loser that nobody would want to be friends with, and if you like him, you're an idiot for thinking so! At least, that's probably what Astruc was going for.
Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, leading to a brief Mexican standoff, until Felix steals the tablet containing the Akuma, making a deal with Hawkmoth that he'll help out the Punishers as long as he gets the wedding rings. Do you hate Felix yet? Come on, do you hate him? WHY WON'T YOU HATE HIM, GODDAMN IT!?
This whole bit is completely pointless as Ladybug immediately finds a way to stop all four of them and de-evilize the Akuma.
And when it looks like Felix is actually apologizing for his actions this episode, it's naturally a ruse he put on to steal one of the wedding rings from Gabriel to give to his mom. Because why would Astruc even think of portraying him sympathetically, or at least have him learn a lesson?
So Felix stares out the window with an evil look in his eye (possibly foreshadowing another appearance), as Gabriel takes Emilie's wedding ring to wear for himself, and the episode mercifully ends.
It also means that I never have to watch this episode ever again.
Do you understand why it took so long for me to fully analyze this episode? Hell, it would have taken longer if Astruc didn't delete his tweets defending the kiss scene and how Cat Noir is totally a gentlemen unlike Satan, I mean Felix.
What else do I have to say about this episode that hasn’t already been said? Well, I do have one thing.
I’m not that big a fan of Felix.
I think he’s an okay character in fanfics, but I’m more indifferent to him and fanfics that ship him and Marinette together. I don’t know, maybe that’s because there are so many Felinette fanfics that are heavily seasoned with salt, or it could just be because I’m complete Love Square and Lukanette trash.
But just think about the fact that the scathing criticism of this episode was delivered by someone who isn’t that into Felix. That is how bad this episode is.
In addition to being an obvious mouthpiece for Astruc to yell at fans why they’re idiots for actually liking Felix, it does so by touching on delicate subject and trying to act like it’s easy to tell how Felix is worse than Adrien when the circumstances are nothing alike.
But the fact that Astruc takes a popular character just to portray him as a complete menace just to antagonize his fans is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.
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timothyjimothy74 · 4 years ago
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Smirk Part 2 - Matthew Tkachuk ft. Brady Tkachuk
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Part One
A/N: Thank you all for the love on part one!! It was my first fic so I was blown away so many of you seemed to like it. I decided to turn it into a series because I couldn’t help myself. I hope you love it!
Summary: It’s time for Y/N’s first chirp-filled family dinner with the Tkachuks where she gets to meet Taryn and Chantal.
Word Count: ~3,000
A few hours later, Y/N sat at home with her brother watching an NHL Network special with highlights from the season, but she couldn’t concentrate. Her mind kept wandering to Matthew. That infamous smirk was still stuck in Y/N’s mind. Then suddenly, as if the NHL Network could read her mind, a clip from a Battle of Alberta game played and she was watching him trade punches with Ethan Bear.
Y/N’s brother smiled at her from across the room knowingly. She blushed and silently wished she wouldn’t have told him who she met that day.
“When are you going to post that photo?” He asked for at least the 10th time that day.
“I think enough time has passed now that I can post it,” Y/N said.
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t post it right away. That’s what I would have done,” he said.
“I told you I didn’t want to come off creepy or too interested,” Y/N replied.
“Girls make no sense,” he replied and rolled his eyes.
Y/N went to her room so she could freak out in private, opened up Twitter and wrote, “Just a casual day out in St. Louis” and tagged Matthew and Brady. They liked it almost instantly, as if they were waiting for the notification. It only took a few minutes for the chirps to start in the comments.
Matthew Tkachuk @TKACHUKycheese_
Replying to @Y/T/H
Walt is STILL talking about how much cooler you are than me
brady tkachuk @BradyTkachuk71
Replying to @TKACHUKycheese and @Y/T/H
           Oh whatever, we all know it’s you who won’t stop talking about her
Y/N liked both comments as she laughed to herself, thinking Brady was just joking as all the Tkachuks seemed to do. When she checked the rest of her notifications, she noticed that Brady had followed her just like he said he would. But another notification caught her off guard.
Matthew Tkachuk followed you
Y/N caught herself smiling for what seemed like the millionth time that day. She knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it.
Her jaw dropped a few seconds later when she got another notification.
Brady Tkachuk
Matt really won’t shut up about you and my mom and sister really want to meet the girl that can out-chirp Matt ASAP. Wanna replace Matt at our family dinner Saturday night?
Y/N
Duh! Send me the details and I’ll be there.
Y/N’s thoughts started spiraling. He was really talking about her to his whole family? What did this mean? She didn’t have much time to freak out, though, because soon enough she received a message from another Tkachuk.
Matthew Tkachuk
Brady’s tweet was wrong, you know. I swear it’s my dad that’s been talking about you
Y/N
Oh, really? Because Brady just told me your mom and sister have heard all about me from you and are dying to meet me. I’m replacing you at dinner Saturday night
Matthew Tkachuk
…No one told me we were having family dinner Saturday night
Y/N
Exactly. Have fun stuck at home!
Matthew Tkachuk
We’ll see about that
While Y/N was getting a lot of enjoyment out of her childhood hero saying he liked her more than his own son, she did wish Matthew would be there Saturday too so she could see that smirk again in person, but she kept that part to herself.
_________
When Brady told Y/N they were going to Charlie Gitto’s, she swore her stomach growled in that moment. Two things filled her mind as she was getting ready Saturday: the toasted raviolis she would demolish and the small hope that Matthew would weasel his way into dinner anyway.
Either way, she was going to look good. Charlie Gitto’s wasn’t very fancy, but she still wasn’t sure what she should wear out to eat with the Tkachuks so she texted Brady, who had given her his number to discuss the details of family dinner easier. They fell into an easy friendly conversation and hadn’t stopped talking since.
Y/N
Can you ask Taryn what she’s wearing? I don’t want to overdress or underdress
Brady Tkachuk
Giving the phone to her as we speak
Hi, Y/N! I’m just wearing a yellow sundress and sandals. You can wear whatever you want though, I’m sure you’ll look great. I can’t wait to meet you!
Y/N
Thanks, Taryn!! I can’t wait to meet you too, sis!
Brady Tkachuk
Sista, sista!
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This conversation definitely eased some of Y/N’s nervousness for the evening and she was able to enjoy getting ready. She danced around her room to her favorite Lady Gaga song as she curled her hair, put on some light makeup and put on a light blue sundress with multi-colored flowers and sandals.
As she drove to the restaurant, she started to get nervous again. Before when she was debating whether she should talk to the boys or not at Ted Drewes, she had nothing to lose if they said no. Now, she felt like she was becoming friends with Brady and she was nervous that Chantal wouldn’t like her. She was also nervous Matthew didn’t like her like she wanted him to, but she still didn’t want to admit that.
Y/N’s thoughts were interrupted as she heard her phone go off. She made sure she was parked safely before she even looked at it.
Brady Tkachuk
Hey, we just got here. You close?
Y/N
Just pulled in
Y/N scanned the parking lot for a second before she saw Brady running over to her car. He was opening her car door and pulling her in for a hug before she could even step out.
“Whoa, someone’s excited. What’s up with you?” Y/N asked cautiously.
“My mom felt bad for making Matthew stay home so she let him come to dinner. He has been getting on my nerves all day laughing because my plan failed so I have really been looking forward to you roasting him,” Brady explained.
Y/N tried to hide her excitement that Matthew was there by sharing a laugh with Brady. But she still had her concerns.
“Not that I don’t enjoy roasting Matthew, but I feel like me and you have become friends in the last few days and I’m afraid to do something that will make your mom not like me,” Y/N said quietly.
She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for Brady to laugh, but he did.
“Y/N/N, first of all, we are most definitely friends. Second, my mom can be protective over us, but Matthew gets on her nerves too. Literally no one we’ve ever met can roast him as hard as you do. He’s finally getting back what he dishes out and we live for it. Mom already loves you, you have nothing to worry about,” he replied, knowing just what to say to comfort her.
“Thanks, Brades. I needed to hear that,” Y/N said and sighed in relief, finally feeling better.
“Anytime. Now, let’s go. I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he said as he put his arm around her and almost ran towards the rest of the Tkachuks on the other side of the parking lot.
“Y/N!” Walt shouted as he saw you both approaching. Brady dropped his arm so Walt could hug her. “It’s nice to see you again,” he said with a huge smile on his face.
Y/N smiled back at him after the hug, but before she could even respond, Taryn was squealing and pulling her in for a hug. “HI, sis!” Y/N and Taryn shared a laugh.
“I’m happy to finally meet you, sis,” Y/N replied before it was Chantal’s turn for a hug.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said as she looked over at a slightly pink Matthew. Y/N looked at him briefly, but tried not to let her gaze linger. “I’m so glad to finally meet you,” she said with a genuine smile. “It’s nice to meet you too. Thank you for letting me intrude on your family dinner,” Y/N said with a smile.
“You’re not intruding, honey. We’re all happy to have you here,” she said with another pointed look at Matthew.
Y/N smiled. She felt herself become more relaxed for a second before she realized that everyone was glancing between her and Matthew.
“Y/N,” Matthew said her name formally as a way of greeting her and looked into her eyes.
“What, cat finally got your tongue after talking about me all week?” Y/N smirked at him, turned on her heel and headed for the restaurant. She could hear all the Tkachuks laughing at Matthew behind her. Damn, that felt good. The only thing Y/N enjoyed more than Matthew’s smirk was his pink cheeks after she teased him.
Dinner was better than what Y/N expected. The Tkachuks asked Y/N a lot of questions about her life, Matthew would try to chirp her, she would chirp him back even harder without even trying, everyone else would laugh and that would shut him up for about 10 minutes before he got the nerve to try to chirp her again. She never wanted it to end.
“Can we have a family game night tonight?” Taryn asked just as they were finishing up dessert, seemingly reading Y/N’s mind.
“Absolutely, we haven’t had one in forever,” Walt answered.
“Can Y/N/N come?” Brady asked.
Walt nodded, but Matthew spoke before he got the chance to respond outloud.
“If she wants to lose, she’s more than welcome to come,” Matthew said with his signature smirk.
But Y/N’s comeback rolled right off her tongue. “What, like you’re going to be able to concentrate enough to win anything with all the beer you’ve had?”
Matthew was about to argue with her, but Taryn could feel like he was going to say something mean and interrupted. “We always play Skip-Bo. Have you ever played?”
“Once or twice,” Y/N replied. Matthew laughed at this. So did Y/N, but for a different reason.
Brady, who was completely oblivious, said, “I’ll teach you. You can be on my team.”
“Thanks, Brades. It can’t be that hard if Matthew can do it,” Y/N chirped and gave Matthew a smirk. He looked back at Y/N and smiled just like he had the day they met at Ted Drewes. Y/N was so lost in his eyes that she missed the rest of the Tkachuk family laughing and patting her on the back for her latest chirp at Matthew.
Y/N looked back down at the piece of gooey butter cake sitting in front of her and tried to keep her thoughts from spinning.
Thankfully, Chantal piped up, “You’re more than welcome to spend the night after, Y/N. Our game nights usually last all night.”
“Yeah, you can stay in my room!” Taryn said excitedly.
“That would be great, thank you guys!” Y/N responded. “If someone wants to give me your address, I can take my car and meet you there.”
“Taryn and I will go with you and give you directions,” Brady said as Taryn’s face lit up.
“Well, they both have a terrible taste in music so you’ll need a good DJ on the way there. I can help you there” Matthew said. There was that smirk again. Although she liked it more than she wanted to admit, it was getting a little annoying. She had the sudden urge to wipe it off his face.
“You can come, but I’m giving the aux to Taryn,” Y/N replied, which earned a cheer from Taryn and an eye roll from Matthew.
After dinner was over, Y/N thanked Walt for paying for it and led the Tkachuk siblings to her car. Y/N got in first and expected Taryn to get in the passenger seat since she told everyone she was getting the aux, but Matthew appeared smiling next to her and Taryn got in the back seat, clearly annoyed. Y/N looked between the two of them, clearly confused.
“He pushed me out of the way. I fell and scraped my knee,” Taryn explained.
That’s all Y/N needed to know before she hit Matthew across the chest. “What is your damage, dude?”
Matthew put his hand over where she hit him and sighed dramatically. “She’s just being dramatic because she lost the race here and-” he tried to explain before Y/N cut him off.
“Apologize and switch seats with your sister or I swear to god, I will leave you at this restaurant and you can Uber home,” Y/N said as Brady and Taryn cheered.
Matthew turned around and glared at them both before switching seats with Taryn. “Listen, I’m really sorry, Taryn. I just wanted to play one song.”
“You’re so dramatic. Play your stupid song and then let Taryn have the aux. Now, someone please lead me to your house so we don’t stay in this parking lot all night,” Y/N sighed. Taryn started leading her to their house while Matthew tried to find the song he wanted to play.
When it started playing, Y/N thought her heart stopped beating. It was the very same Lady Gaga song she had listened to while she was dancing around her room earlier in the day. This felt like a sign. She tried to even her breathing so she could sing along quietly.
After the song ended, Brady said, “Out of all the songs in the world you could have picked, you pick You and I? That’s so lame, dude.”
He must have been oblivious to the fact that Y/N was singing along too, but something told her Matthew knew. She looked up at him in her rearview mirror and he looked back at her when he said, “It’s my favorite song.”
Nothing could hold back Y/N’s thoughts now. The way he had been looking at her all night, the way it took almost nothing for her to get his cheeks to turn pink, the way he played that freaking song. Did he like her?
Taryn played the Jonas Brothers and U sang along, trying to act like she was playing her favorite song in the world and that Matthew hadn’t just played it minutes ago.
As soon as she took two steps into the Tkachuk house, Walt was insisting on giving her the grand tour. Brady and Matthew followed when Walt took her downstairs to show her all the hockey memorabilia in the basement.
They hadn’t talked about hockey much yet, but Walt could tell she loved the game and was trying to hold back on the fangirling. He was proven correctly when he showed her his game-worn jersey from his last NHL game in 2010 and started to talk about how he played that day, but Y/N remembered.
“I actually went to that game with my family. We wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I remember you had two assists and the Blues won that day. I thought it was so cool that Brady, Taryn and Matthew went on the ice with you. I think it’s even cooler now that Brady and Matthew are in the NHL themselves.”
Even Walt didn’t remember that he had two assists that day. He, Brady and Matthew exchanged glances. They were all impressed at her knowledge.
Just then, Chantal called downstairs. “You guys will be down there all night if I don’t stop you. Come upstairs, let’s play Skip-Bo!”
“Clearly we need to talk about hockey more often, Y/N,” Walt said. “You’ve been holding out on us.”
“I’d love that. I didn’t want to come across as a fangirl, but hockey is a huge part of my life,” Y/N replied.
“You fit right in, Y/N/N,” Brady said and everyone laughed. Well, everyone but Matthew laughed. Matthew was oddly silent. Y/N braced herself for a reaction that didn’t come.
As soon as they got upstairs, the boys went to change and Brady motioned for Y/N to follow him. “Here, let me get you sweats and a t-shirt. We’ve gotta be comfy if we want to beat dad and Matthew,” Brady said seriously.
Y/N decided now was a good time to let him in on her plan. “Brades, I play Skip-Bo with my family all the time. I’m kind of an expert,” Y/N whispered. “But don’t tell anyone, I want to wipe that stupid smirk off Matthew’s face and kick his ass. He’s been so annoying tonight. ”
Brady’s eyes got bigger than his head. “You are my favorite person ever. This is about to be a very fun night,” he said and you both laughed.
“I’m gonna go change and I’ll meet you there, partner,” Y/N said.
What Y/N didn’t expect was that Y/N was going to wipe the smirk off Matthew’s face before the game even started. When Y/N met Brady in the living room, both of them wearing Senators shirts, she felt like someone was staring at her. She turned around to see Matthew giving her a death glare. She didn’t understand so she looked at Brady, who was trying to contain his laugh as he pointedly said, “Looking good in Senators gear, Y/N/N!” just loudly enough that Matthew would be able to hear him. Matthew stormed into the dining room where they would be playing.
“What was that?” Y/N asked Brady.
“I was just testing a theory,” he said casually as if that was supposed to explain it all. It did, but she still wanted to hear Brady say it.
“Do you think he-“ Y/N started to ask before Brady cut her off.
“Obviously. Do you-“ he started to ask, but it was Y/N’s turn to cut him off.
“Obviously,” Y/N replied.
“Oh, this is going to be so much fun!” Brady exclaimed before dragging Y/N into the dining room.
Part 3
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atths--twice · 4 years ago
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Finding Light in the Dark
A call sends Mulder, Scully, and Faith on a road trip back to the house in Quonochontaug. Mulder is feeling somewhat nervous, but is determined to replace the pain of the past with happiness in the present.
This story is the next in the Year of Prompts. A friend on Twitter asked for a story where Mulder visits the house in Quonochontaug with Scully and Faith. I, of course, fell in love with that idea as I simply adore writing them as a happy family. I set out to have it be a Valentine's story as the story presented itself to me. It took *just* a day longer than planned, but I hope it was worth the wait. ❤️
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January 26, 2021
Mulder hung up the phone and sighed with a slight frown. Putting it down, he walked to the laundry room where he could hear Scully humming as she folded clothes.
“So, uh…” he said, standing in the doorway. She looked at him and smiled with a nod. “I just had a call from the rental agency.” She frowned at him and then nodded in understanding.
“Is everything okay?” She picked up a flat sheet, handing him an end, and together they started to fold it.
“Well, Brian from the agency said that with the virus, they aren’t getting as many people staying at the house. No one is traveling, as you know, and they’re losing money.” He took the sheet from her and finished the folding. She nodded and crossed her arms as he set the sheet in the laundry basket.
“So…”
“So, they’re considering letting it go, which means it falls on me to make a decision. If I want to find another rental company or… if I should sell the house and be done with it.” She stared at him, sighing as she nodded slowly.
“Is that what you want to do?” she asked softly and he let out a deep breath.
“I don’t know. That house… honestly I forget that it’s still there most of the time. It’s been… Jesus, twenty years.” He shook his head and sighed. “I…”
“Hon,” she said, stepping toward him and touching his arm with a smile. “I know how you feel about that house. I don’t want you to think you have to go there. We can ask the agency what would be best and not ever have to go.”
“I appreciate that, but… I think I need to go check-“
“We. We need to go. I’m not letting you go there alone.” She held his arm and stared at him with another small smile. “Would leaving tomorrow morning be soon enough?” He smiled and cupped her cheek, his thumb rubbing softly across it.
“Let’s start thinking about a plan.”
________________
January 29th
He made phone calls to the rental agency, letting them know they would be coming up to check on the house and decide what they would do with it. Brian sounded relieved and said he would leave the key in the lock box, giving him the combination to open it.
A heaviness weighed upon him as they packed and readied for the trip. He tried not to let it show, but Scully‘s hand lightly grazing his back, arm, or waist let him know that she noticed. She never said anything, but her touch meant everything; his thoughts often far away.
They left the house at seven thirty, hoping Faith would sleep for most of the journey, and not become cranky sitting in her car seat for such a long period of time. Nearly seven hours was long for anyone, but especially for a two year old.
Once again, Grey was dropped off with Violet and Denis, along with the house keys so they could stop by and feed the fish while they were gone. Violet stood at the window, holding Grey and waving goodbye with her little paw, as Faith waved back and yelled goodbye.
She chatted with Bella who sat beside her, her head resting on the arm of the car seat. Faith patted her head and told Bella it was dark.
“See stars, Bell? It’s dark. See stars!” She pointed as she looked out the window, continuing to pet Bella’s head. Mulder smiled as he watched her in the rearview mirror, catching Scully’s eye as he looked back at the road. She smiled at him and he nodded as he drove down Henderson Road, heading toward the Parkway.
“Do you think we should stop at a hotel on the way? I don’t think we can just show up these days,” Scully said, reaching for her phone. “Halfway… that should put us about…” He saw she had opened her map app, looking intently at it, and he shook his head.
“We don’t need to stop. I can make it. Quonochontaug is only seven hours.”
“No. We can switch. No need for you to drive the whole way.” He nodded with a smile, knowing he would be the one driving the entire way. “I’m serious, Mulder.”
“Okay. But I’m good for now.”
“Hmm,” she hummed, Looking back at Faith, who was looking out the window, now holding her baby doll in her lap. “You okay, love?”
“Baby, mama. Baby seeping.” Mulder saw her touch the baby's eyes that opened and closed. “Shh. Baby seeping.”
“She’s sleeping? Okay then, we’ll be quiet.” She turned her head and smiled at him and he smiled back.
Within two hours, an audiobook playing quietly after Faith’s usual bedtime music, everyone in the car, save for Mulder, was sleeping deeply. He smiled as he glanced at them and then sighed as he looked back at the road. The navigation was set and the book playing, but he was no longer paying attention.
He was heading back to a house that held many memories, both good and bad, and now that they were physically on their way, he was lost in thoughts of the past; his childhood and the questions that had never been answered.
After his mother had died, he had been the one to handle her personal belongings and the selling of her house. She had left everything to him and one long weekend, he had gone up to clear it all out, readying it to be sold.
The house itself held very little personal items. Not many pictures and signs of the past. No, those were kept in the basement, almost as though they were something to hide and of which to be ashamed.
Saturday morning, after he had spent Friday going through the basement, sadness and anger causing tears at times, the doorbell had rung. Believing it to be the donation organization coming to pick up the agreed upon items, he had opened the door to find Scully.
She had smiled, a bag of donuts and two coffees in a carry out holder in her hands. He had been surprised, but opened the door to allow her to enter.
“I thought you could use some help,” she had said softly and he had nodded with a relieved sigh. She had smiled and after they had eaten, they had begun to work.
Then… he had decided it was time to deal with the house in Quonochontaug, something he had put off for years. No one had been in the house for a couple of years, him being the last one, and the reason was one he wished to forget. He had asked Scully to accompany him, no hesitation, knowing that house would be harder to face.
They had driven out together on a Thursday evening, planning to stay all weekend. It had been a long drive, spent mostly in silence. Halfway there, they had stopped to eat at a diner, the silence remaining, though her eyes had said a lot.
They arrived late, the house chilly. Looking around at the things still covered in plastic, the mess he had never completely cleared up, they had both sighed.
“It’s a lot, but…” she had said, a hand on his back as she walked further into the room. “We can be up early, get some breakfast, and then…”
“Yeah,” he had whispered.
They went to the bedrooms, Mulder insisting she take the master bedroom and he would take the smaller guest one. The rooms smelled musty, plastic covering the beds and other things.
“Uh, I don’t know about the state of the sheets. This place hasn’t been used in such a long time,” he had said, standing in the doorway and looking around the room she would be using.
“Blankets will be fine,” she had assured him and he nodded, going to the hall closet and taking out the equally musty smelling blankets, wishing he had thought to bring something better.
“I’m not sure the blankets are much better, in regards to smell anyway.”
“It’s fine, Mulder.” She had smiled and taken the blankets from him. “We’ve been in worse places than this.” He had nodded and she rubbed his arm. “Good night.”
“Good night,” he had whispered and walked to the guest room.
Dropping the blankets onto the bed, he had used the bathroom, shivering as he walked back to the bedroom. He had changed his clothes and gotten under the covers, sighing as he closed his eyes, too many thoughts in his head. Turning over, he had fallen asleep, his dreams dark and confusing.
In the morning, he had woken up early. Leaving Scully to sleep a little longer, he went to pick up the trailer he had rented and to get breakfast for both of them.
She had been awake when he returned, just coming out of the bedroom, yawning and stretching. She had smiled as she cleared the table and he set the food and coffee onto it.
After they had eaten and thrown out their trash, they looked around, deciding where to start.
“Before we do anything,” she had said and he looked at her. “I’ve been thinking. What if you didn’t sell this place?”
“I don’t want or need it,” he had answered.
“No, I know you don’t. But…” She had walked to the back door and opened it. “It’s beautiful here. The water right outside the door… it’s a perfect place to get away.”
“Scully-”
“You could rent it.” She had smiled at him and he looked around the house and back at her. “Fix it up a little for sure, but…” She had shrugged and he let out a sigh. “It’s just an idea.”
“Yeah,” he had said with a nod.
“Think about it,” she had said quietly, touching his arm.
They had worked methodically, moving from one room to the next, stopping a little after one to go out and get something to eat and stopping at the store to get something for a simple dinner.
Things that held memories, had been set to one side and then carried to the trailer. Pictures mostly, a few boxes of family items, a couple of lamps and one end table Mulder had “ruined” when he did not use a coaster for his glass of ice water.
“My mother would cluck her tongue and sigh every time she saw it. Never saying anything, but letting me know how I had messed up.”
“You’re still pretty bad about remembering,” she had teased and he chuckled softly in agreement. “How about I go make dinner and open that bottle of wine while you make a fire?” He had nodded and she went into the kitchen
He had cleaned out the fireplace, checking to make sure the flue was open, and then went to find some wood outside. It was not much, but enough for a small fire. He brought it inside, smelling garlic and onions, and his mouth watered.
As the fire began to build, she had walked into the room holding two plates of pasta tossed with garlic and parmesan cheese. She set it on the fireplace, rubbing his back as she walked back to the kitchen to get their glasses of wine. Kneeling down, she handed him his glass and set hers beside her plate.
“The fire feels nice. It’s surprisingly cold at night.”
“Not exactly a selling point for a vacation rental,” he had said, taking a sip of his wine.
“Not until you upgrade it a bit.” She had smiled at him and he nodded, but did not smile back. “You don’t want to do it?”
“I don’t want to think about it tonight.”
“Okay.”
“This is good,” he had said, taking a bite of the pasta. She smiled and ate her food as the fire crackled and warmed the room.
When their plates were empty, he had taken them into the kitchen and brought out the bottle of wine, refilling their glasses as they moved to the couch.
They had watched the fire, his head resting on the back of the couch, his fingers lightly caressing her shoulder. She looked at him and then she set her glass on the coffee table and turned to him. He had swallowed, setting his glass on the small table beside him.
She had leaned closer to him, a hand on his thigh. He cupped her cheek, her eyes closing as she sighed.
“Scully,” he had breathed. She opened her eyes and he shook his head slowly. “I…”
“Mulder,” she had whispered, moving until she was in his lap, her arms loose around his neck, fingers rubbing softly in his hair and down his neck. He held her waist, closing his eyes as her forehead rested against his, her breath smelling sweetly of wine.
“Scully… I… this-“
“I’m not asking or expecting anything from you,” she had whispered, kissing his temple as he sighed. Then his other temple, forehead, cheeks, and lips. Every kiss soft and tender.
He had kissed her back, his hands gripping her hips. Their kisses slow, their breath mingling, her tongue gently touching his, silently asking for permission.
He had pulled back, licking his lips, Breathing hard as their foreheads once more pressed together. Her fingers scratched softly at his neck as they sighed simultaneously.
“I’m sorry. I just… this house…”
“You don’t need to apologize,” she had whispered. “Not for anything.” He sighed again and she wrapped her arms around him, her face pressed into his neck. He held her tightly, his eyes closed, sighing with relief at her understanding.
She had pulled back, kissing him once more, before rising and taking their glasses into the kitchen. He sighed as he watched her go, hearing the water running as she washed the dishes. He scrubbed a hand down his face and stood to his feet.
Walking into the kitchen, he had rubbed her back and picked up a towel to dry the dishes, working together in silence. When the last plate was clean and had been put away, she bid him good night, rubbing his arm as she passed.
He had sighed as she left, walking back and sitting on the couch, staring at the slowly dying fire. As it went out, he had risen and used the bathroom before lying down in bed and staring into the darkness.
His door had opened quietly a few minutes later, the faint light from the living room lamp momentarily casting a soft flow across the bed. The door had closed and the room was once more dark.
The covers were lifted and the bed squeaked as Scully slid in beside him, snuggling close. He had let out a breath as he raised his arm and she lifted her head, lying on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist. She brought her leg up, resting her knee against his thigh and side softly.
“Was your bed not warm enough?” he had teased quietly and she hummed.
“No, this bed is much warmer.” He had hummed out a quiet chuckle and they fell silent, their breathing the only sound in the room.
He had shifted, turning onto his side and pulling her close, their forehead’s touching as they had done on the couch.
“There are bad memories here. Broken ones. Ones I… I’m not sure are real,” he whispered and she hummed as she stroked his face, her hands warm. “But, there are also good ones. Ones of games and laughter. My mother singing. Parties and music. My father telling some story and all the men laughing. I had my first taste of hard alcohol here.”
“Really?” she had whispered with a soft laugh.
“Not on purpose,” he chuckled, hooking a leg over hers and breathing in her scent. “I had been running around and grabbed what I believed was my cup and took a big drink of what I thought was water, but what was actually vodka.
“Oh!” She had laughed, her head falling back and they looked at one another in the darkness. “What happened?”
“I was sure my throat would burn forever, my stomach on fire, and then I gagged and threw most of it up onto the grass. One of the men thumped me on the back and laughed. I was so embarrassed to throw up in front of them, but Jesus Christ, it was the only option.”
“Hmm,” she had hummed, moving closer, her lips at his throat. “How old were you?”
“Eleven, nearly twelve,” he had said, his fingers running softly up and down her back.
“Maybe that’s why you don’t like it much.”
“Hmm. Could be.” He thought back to that day, the way his head had spun as his mother led him inside, Samantha crying and holding his hand.
“So, does that go in the good memory column or the bad one?”
“I’ll consider it both.”
“Hmm.” Quiet again, she moved even closer, kissing his throat and then sighing.
“Good night,” she had whispered, and he nodded, closing his eyes and kissing the top of her head.
“Good night.”
He had slept soundly, waking up spooning her, his nose buried in her hair.
As they ate breakfast, he had looked around, thinking about the possibility of remodeling the house and renting it out as a vacation home.
“It would take a lot,” he had said out loud and she frowned at him. “If I was to remodel it. This place is good, but… what would they find once they started working on it?”
“What are you saying?”
“We… I own the land surrounding here. Would it be better to tear it down? Start over from scratch?”
“Good question for a developer.”
“Yeah.” He had smiled and she gripped his hand. “I think I’ll call some people, see what they have to say.”
“I think it’s a good idea. I like it here.” She had smiled and he nodded. “Wouldn’t mind coming back.”
“That could be arranged.” He had leaned forward and kissed her softly, holding her chin with his thumb and index finger.
“I’d like that,” she whispered, kissing him once again. “Maybe when it’s a bit warmer out.” He chuckled and nodded again.
All personal items packed inside the trailer and the rooms cleaned, they had packed up their bags, taking out the trash and setting it in the back of the trailer to drop at a nearby dumpster as they left.
They never did go out there again. Not together anyway. He had, on his own, to meet with developers who suggested ways to improve the house. Things were moved out and he saw the beginning of the remodel before he had disappeared and was gone for nearly a year.
When he had returned, he’d had more time on his hands. Only once had he seen the place completed before never coming back. Life taking over and stopping him… them from coming out there again.
He had left it in the capable hands of a rental agency, the money from it deposited into a separate checking account created by the gunmen, and transferred over to his primary account only when needed.
Scully hummed in her sleep and he blinked his eyes, shaking his head as though clearing away the past. The audiobook was chapters ahead and he made no effort to go back to what he remembered, deciding starting it over would probably be for the best.
“Oh.” She stretched and he glanced at her with a smile. “Oh… I fell asleep. I’m so sorry.” She reached over and patted his arm as she glanced back at Faith. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep… oh my god, it’s 11:30?! How long was I sleeping?”
“I really don’t know.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Just thinking.” He smiled at her and she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I’m okay. I do need to pee though and we’ll need gas soon.”
“Yeah, I need to pee too.”
A quick stop at a gas station, they took turns using the bathroom, letting Bella out to relieve herself. He got them each a coffee and restarted the audiobook as they drove away. This time they both paid attention, laughing and discussing the story quietly.
Soon, they exited the interstate and drove down the road toward the house. He felt nervous and calm simultaneously as they pulled up and parked in the driveway.
“Wow,” Scully said, staring at the house in the shine of the headlights. “It’s different. I like it. It’s not as dark.”
“Light is always better,” he agreed, turning off the car and smiling at her.
“Absolutely.”
“You stay here, I’ll go open the house and turn on the lights.”
“I could do it”.
“Nah, I got it.” He kissed her and got out, closing the door quietly. Using the flashlight on his phone, he found the lock box, punched in the code and took out the key to unlock the door.
Walking inside, he took a deep breath, happy that the house was different, the changes allowing for better memories to be created. He shivered in the chilly room, intent on turning on the heater when they were all inside. He turned on some lights and went back outside.
Nodding at Scully as he opened the back passenger door, he let Bella out, holding onto her leash as he opened the back of the car.
“I’ll set up Faith’s bed real quick and we can lay her down,” he said softly and she nodded.
“Sounds good.”
He grabbed the portable crib, and the bag with the sheets and blankets, bringing them and Bella inside. He set up the crib in the guestroom and quickly made the bed, setting Faith’s favorite stuffed animal, the grey alien with a pink belly, in the corner.
Heading back outside, he saw that Scully was taking Faith from the car seat, shushing her when she began to cry. They walked inside while he unloaded the rest of the luggage, bringing it all inside.
He put their bags in the master bedroom and went to the kitchen to unload the food they had brought for the morning. It was mostly stuff for Faith, not taking any chances of being caught out with no food. They planned to make a trip in the morning to stock up for a few days.
He could hear Faith fussing and crying as Scully sang to her, shushing her softly. Once he was done, he called out to Bella, taking her out to pee one more time, giving her a treat when they came back inside.
It was quiet and he smiled tiredly as he searched for the thermostat, setting the heater to seventy to see how that temperature felt. He heard it kick on as the toilet flushed and Scully came out to join him a moment later.
“I like the house very much. It’s the same, but with some changes. And it’s brighter and happier.”
“It is,” he agreed, looking around the white walls, the dark wood paneling gone.
Taking her hand, they walked through the house, looking at all the changes. Some even he had not seen, twenty years being a long time between visits.
The furniture was all done in soft grays and blues. The coffee and side tables were dark oak, with bookshelves that matched. Games and puzzles filled one and random books filled the other.
The kitchen cupboards were steel blue, the countertops done in white marble. Different sized bowls set upon them, one now full of bananas and apples. A white rectangular table with a bench and two chairs sat in the corner, a vase of fake flowers in the middle.
A small laundry room with a stackable washer and dryer and a counter to fold clothes, was just off the kitchen. The side door lead to the wraparound front porch, though they did not venture further than a quick glance.
The floors throughout the house were a light wood, with colorful rugs of grays and blues upon them. The room where Mulder had nearly broken beyond repair, was now a cozy sitting room. Large windows with sheer drapes faced the water which would let in beautiful sunlight in the morning. A dark wicker basket of toys sat beside a red bookcase with children’s books and pictures of the surrounding area sitting upon it.
She turned to him and smiled, which he attempted to return, but failed. She came close and hugged him, holding on tightly. He closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her, trying to block out memories of the past.
“It looks beautiful,” she said quietly, pulling back to look at him. “Much better than before.” He nodded and smiled slightly. Let’s go to bed. It’s late and you know our girl won’t be sleeping in.”
He nodded again and followed her to the bedroom, turning off the lights and locking the doors along the way. Bella was asleep on her bed and paid them no mind as they passed.
As he laid down, Scully’s head on his chest, he let out a deep breath. “No more,” he whispered, stroking her hair. “No more darkness.”
“No,” she whispered back. “No more.” He kissed her head and closed his eyes. “Good night, Mulder.”
“Good night, love.”
_________________________
January 31st
The fire crackled and Bella stretched, letting out a deep sigh. Mulder smiled as he watched her, the fire warm, and no doubt she was exhausted.
They had spent the majority of the day outside in the snow, the depth of it more than he could have imagined, the storm blowing in and taking them by surprise. Bella had jumped and dove into it, coming up covered in the powder, her tongue lolling out happily.
Faith had been a little more hesitant, unsure what to think of it. Bundled up in many layers to ward off the cold, she had tripped once, her hands landing in the snow. She had shook them, trying to get the snow off of her mittens, but to no avail.
Scully had laughed as she bent down beside her, helping her wipe them off. When she had looked at him, picking Faith up, her blue eyes shining with happiness, he had never felt more in love with her.
Even as he was happy to be there with them, his light in the darkness, he had been unable to completely stop thinking of the past. The house being different helped immensely, but there were still spots within it which held some pain.
One of them, the loft where he and Samantha had slept when they were younger, had been a space he specifically asked the developers to turn into something different, though he did not have an actual idea of what he wanted.
What they had done was better than he could have imagined.
A skylight had been added when they put in a new roof and the dark loft was now a cozy reading nook with natural light spilling in. A small television sat in the corner, a VCR and DVD player on the shelf of the stand it sat upon. A storage bench ran the length of the low wall, colorful pillows in blues, grays, and muted greens brightening the space further.
Toys, blankets, and movies were inside of the bench. Two light turquoise bean bag chairs sat atop a striped rug of greens, blue, and tan. The railing had been changed, and now included a thin piece of plexiglass, keeping the view clear, while creating a safe space from little arms, legs, or heads from becoming stuck.
He had brought Faith up there, playing with and reading to her. She had loved the beanbag chairs, climbing on them and then giggling as they moved with her. She had also loved looking down and waving at Scully, calling for her to look up at her. Bella whined as she watched them, wanting to join them so badly.
Sitting in the little loft, the sunlight coming in through the skylight, he had felt his sadness lifting. Faith smiling at him and her laughter helped to replace the pain of the past with the happiness in the present.
“She’s exhausted, isn’t she?” Scully said, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw her smiling at Bella. “I don’t think I have ever seen her so still.” She smiled at him and he chuckled with a nod.
“It was a busy day.”
“Yes, it was.” She turned her head and looked out the window as he did the same, smiling at the snowman family they had made, now covered in even more snow.
Three different sized snow people were wearing extra hats and scarves from each of them. Faith’s was her height and she stared at it from all sides before she hugged it, surprised by the coldness on her cheek when she did. She touched her cheek and looked at him, her brow furrowed.
“Snow is cold, my love,” he had said, bending beside her, touching his cheek to the snow person and then placing his cheek on Faith’s. She had pulled back and touched her cheek again as he laughed, kissing her cold nose.
“May I join you?” Scully asked and he looked at her, confused.
“Of course, why would you… oh.” He chuckled as she joined him in the overstuffed chair in which he was sitting, her head on his shoulder, an arm around his waist, her legs on top of his.
“So by join, you meant sit on my lap, not in the chair beside me?” he asked, his fingers in her hair.
“What would be the fun of that?” she asked, letting out a deep sigh. He chuckled again, nodding and kissing her head.
The fire popped and Bella jumped, standing and staring at it before she stretched, yawned, and laid back down. They laughed quietly, her toes pressing into the seam of his jeans along his calf.
“You okay?” she asked quietly and his fingers paused for a second before running through her hair again.
“I am,” he answered with a slight nod. She lifted her head and pulled back to look at him, her eyes searching his own. He smiled as she touched his cheek and side.
“You’re sure?”
“Mm-hmm.”
She nodded and stroked his face, her fingernails scratching gently at the beard he had been growing for a few weeks. She took a deep breath and licked her lips.
“I like your beard like this,” she whispered and he fought back a smile.
Oh, he knew.
When he had started letting it grow, no longer wanting to shave every morning, she had made comments about his scratchy beard and ducked away as he attempted to rub his cheek against her neck.
But she would always giggle as he did it. He knew she did not really hate it.
When it had grown in, he had noticed the way that she touched it often, her fingertips scratching beneath it, her eyes dilating and her breathing increasing, sex inevitably occurring wherever they were at that moment.
Yeah… he knew.
But he would play it cool.
“You do, huh?” he asked, giving her a curious look.
“Hmm. I do. I didn’t in the past-”
“That was different,” he said quietly, leaning into her hand and staring into her eyes. “I was different. That was a depressed beard. It was ugly and unkempt, no care over how I looked. This is different.”
“I know,” she whispered, her hand stroking softly. “I like it. It’s sexy.”
“Sexy?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist, locking his fingers together, and opening his legs enough to allow hers to slip in between.
“Mm-hmm. Very sexy.” She bit her bottom lip and he smiled.
“I think I may have noticed,” he admitted and she stared at him.
“I like it. Especially on my thighs.” His hands slipped as his body jerked and she grinned.
“Yeah?” he asked, clearing his throat.
“God, yes,” she breathed, her eyes closing. “It’s so stimulating, it makes me…” She shivered and he chuckled, causing her to open her eyes.
“Yeah, I noticed.” He smiled and she narrowed her eyes at him.
“Always observant, you are.”
“When it comes to that, you bet I am.”
“Hmm,” she hummed, dropping her hand down to the button of his thermal shirt and fiddling with it. “How quickly can you put out the fire?”
“Which one?” he teased, unlocking his hands and placing one on her ass. She laughed and kissed him, her tongue stroking his as she shifted onto her knees, her hands on his face.
“This fire is close, but that one needs some attention. You take care of it and meet me in the bedroom.” She kissed him once more and climbed off of his lap, heading to the bedroom, lifting her sweater over her head on the way. “Hurry up or I’m starting without you.”
He jumped up and hurried to put out the fire with the ashes in the metal bucket beside the fireplace. Once he was sure it was out, he walked toward the bedroom, unbuttoning his pants and removing his layers of shirts.
She was on the bed, already naked, her knees bent. She was moaning quietly and he saw she was squeezing her breasts. His clothes dropping to the floor, he tugged at her feet, pulling her legs apart as he climbed onto the bed. He kissed his way up her legs, heading toward his goal. He rubbed his beard against her thighs, one then the other, and she arched her back, his name said breathlessly.
Closer to her center, he breathed deeply, smelling her arousal. He kissed her pubis and she whimpered, her legs tightening around him. Rubbing his chin on her inner thighs, she cried out, grabbing his head and gripping his hair.
“Mulder,” she gasped and he smiled.
“Yes?” he asked, kissing her pubis again, rubbing his face across it back-and-forth. She pulled his hair and he chuckled, raising his head to look at her.
“You’re a shit,” she said, her chest heaving.
“You said you were close and I can tell you are. Nothing wrong with showing some restraint and prolonging that pleasure.”
“Fuck that,” she said through gritted teeth, attempting to push his head where she most wanted it, but he stopped her.
Pushing up, he rubbed his face on her stomach, feeling it quiver as he kept moving up her body, kissing and rubbing his beard against your skin. He reached her breasts and ran his lips across her nipples, then his beard, her legs gripping even tighter as she whimpered.
“Jesus, Mulder. You keep that up, I’m going to come.”
“Is that a complaint?” he asked, knowing the way in which she truly wanted to get there.
“No. Not at ohhh, at all.” She moaned as he came up, nuzzling at her neck and her lips. “Kiss me.” He lifted his head and kissed her lips, her tongue running across his teeth, the kiss hot and needy.
He pulled back and resumed his nuzzling at her neck, back tracking down the path he had taken up her body. He paused at her stomach, enjoying the way it quivered under his touch.
“You’ve known all this time?” she asked quietly, her breath coming out heavy through her nose.
“Of course I have,” he responded, his tongue running from her navel to the top of her pubis. “As if I could not notice.”
He moved, opening her legs and rubbing his beard against her inner thighs once more, her fingernails scratching at his scalp. Her arousal was more evident now and he breathed in her intoxicating scent.
“Mulder, please…”  she begged.
And he did, taking his time, making sure she got there.
Twice.  
_____________________
The next few days, the snow sticking around, they went for long walks, Bella rolling and sliding in the snow. They went close to the water, throwing sticks in and watching them float away. There were plastic sleds in a small shed out back and they made a small hill, packing down some snow, to let Faith slide down, Mulder catching her at the bottom. Her happy laughter echoed around them, Scully smiling from the top of the little hill, as they trudged back up to do it all again.
They went into the little town, walking along the streets, looking in the windows and stopping in a few places that remained open, masks on and keeping their distance.
In one shop, Mulder found a little pop-up playhouse shaped like a toad stool. It was red with white polka dots on top and a squat round bottom with a curved door and circular windows on the sides. Deciding to keep it for a couple of days, as Valentine’s Day was approaching, though Scully stated it was a rather silly day.
“As though people need a specific day set aside to express their love,” she had said as they walked out of the store, the playhouse in a bag.
“Scully,” he had started to say and she interrupted him.
“I don’t mean that a gift or flowers isn’t nice, but couldn’t someone do that on February nineteenth just as well as the fourteenth? It will cost less on that day which means you could buy even more.” She had shrugged and he smiled, pulling her into his arms and lifting her off the ground.
“I love you,” he had whispered and she laughed.
“See? A few days early even. And that’s all I need.” She had pulled her mask down and kissed him before he set her down and they continued on their way.
The afternoon before Valentine’s Day, after discovering the box of pasta they had planned to eat for dinner that night had not made it home, Mulder had volunteered to go back to the store to get it. Scully insisted they could eat something else that night, as they had just purchased another week's worth of groceries, but he insisted more and with a kiss to her and Faith, he left.
He had an ulterior motive for going, one he did not want her to know about just yet.
While they had been out earlier, he had seen something in a florist shop he wanted to buy for her. It was simple, but it had made him smile when he saw it and he knew he needed to buy it.
Stopping quickly at the store, he bought a bag of Valentine’s chocolate kisses before he picked up the pasta. He drove to the florist shop and went inside, smiling as he saw what he had wanted was still there.
It was a wooden stand with two small glass nearly heart shaped test tube vases, hanging from a metal pronged holder. At the base of the stand was a wooden heart with the word Love written upon it. It was perfect in its simplicity, exactly the kind of gift he knew she would enjoy.
“Those are quite popular, I only have those two left.” He turned and the florist nodded her head at them. “You better grab it while you can.”
“I saw these when we walked by earlier and I had to come back when it was more covert.”
“Understood,” she laughed and pointed to the stands. He nodded and she picked one up with gloved hands and he followed her to the register.
“Do you have any violets? Just a few to set inside the vases?”
“As it happens, I cut some for a bouquet this morning, I always save the extras. Never know when they will come in handy. I’ll get them for you.” He nodded as she walked away, glancing at his watch and seeing he still had time before he began to draw suspicion.
“Here we are, I’ve tied a small bunch together and you can distribute them between the two vases when you get home.”
“Thank you.”
She wrapped the vases and the stand and placed it in a brown gift bag, tied with twine. The flowers were wrapped and he asked for a heart balloon as well- for Faith. She nodded and filled a shiny pink mylar heart with helium.
Paying for it and getting into the car, he smiled at the balloon dancing on the front seat. Such a small thing, but he knew Faith would love it. He could not wait to see her happy smile.
As he got onto the main highway, the street was packed with cars. An ambulance drove past him and he took a deep breath. Most likely an accident and traffic would be backed up for a while. He put the car in park and took out his phone, texting Scully to let her know what was happening.
Take your time. Get home safely. ❤️
He smiled at the heart and put his phone in the cup holder. Turning the heater up a bit, he then turned the volume up on the radio and leaned his head back on the headrest.
A song began to play, a soft strum of a guitar and he was immediately pulled in, as he closed his eyes.
Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have
His eyes flew open and he sat up straight, listening intently to the next part of the song.
She always has trouble Falling asleep And she likes to cuddle While under the sheets She loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV There's still a few other things
She loves love notes and babies And likes giving gifts Has a hard time accepting A good compliment She loves her whole family And all of her friends So if you're the one she lets in
Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her
On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that
“Pull to the right. We will be detouring you. Pull to the right. You will be detoured.” A voice said over a speaker and Mulder jumped, looking to his right. A police suburban drove by, lights flashing but no siren.
He turned the car on, missing the rest of the song as he concentrated on following the detour. The words remained in his head however, his thoughts of Scully and how it sounded as though the song had been written especially about them.
Pulling into the driveway a few minutes later, he turned the car off and picked up his phone, searching for the song with the words he remembered hearing.
He found it on the second search, listening to its entirety before purchasing it with a smile. Moving the gifts to the back of the car to bring in later when Scully was busy with something else, he grabbed the pasta and walked inside, a plan for tomorrow beginning to formulate. ______________________
February 14th
“Oh! So pretty!” Faith exclaimed as she stood in front of the toadstool playhouse and clapped her hands happily. She ran inside and squealed when she saw the pink balloon floating inside. “Heart. Pink heart. So pretty.”
They both bent down and watched her exploring, looking out the windows and calling out hello. Mulder unrolled the door and she popped out from behind it shouting boo! and running to him. He caught her and fell back, feigning fear. She laughed and ran back to scare him again.
“I’ll go get breakfast started,” Scully said with a smile, rising from her knees beside the playhouse.
“No wait!” he called out and stood quickly to his feet. “I uh… I can do it.”
“You’re playing with Faith. I don’t want to disturb the fun.” She smiled anew and started to walk to the kitchen when he stopped her again. “What are you doing?”
“Just… I…” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “We said Valentine’s Day wasn’t important, but… I got you something and it’s set up in the kitchen.” He sighed again and she smiled slowly, licking her lips and rolling her eyes as she shook her head.
“Well then, I’m just as guilty.”
“What?”
“I said it wasn’t important, that it was just a day, but… I got you something too.”
“Whoa, I’m having a crazy feeling of deja vu,” he murmured, thinking about a Christmas morning, opening gifts together in his apartment. She laughed, which ended with a sigh, her shoulders lifting in a shrug and a shake of her head.
“Together?” he asked and she nodded, reaching for his hand.
“Together.”
He scooped up Faith, wanting her to share in the festivities and they walked into the kitchen, his eyes on Scully to see her reaction.
“Oh! Hearts!” Faith shouted and he chuckled, glancing at her before looking back at Scully.
She shook her head with a smile, letting go of his hand to look at the numerous cutout hearts hanging and spinning slowly from the ceiling, some single and some intertwined. They were all made from white notebook paper, the house not exactly full of crafting materials.
“When did you do this?” she asked and he smiled.
“Last night after you fell asleep. You are a heavy sleeper sometimes, as you know.” He set Faith in her high chair attached to the kitchen chair, buckling her in as Scully came to stand beside them.
“Mulder, this is so beautiful. And violets…” she said, touching the flowers in the vases, rubbing his back as she did. “Thank you, love.” She kissed him and he smiled as she pulled back.
“You’re welcome. Check out the counter.”
She turned around and laughed as she walked to the counter and saw the heart shape he had made from the chocolate kisses.
“You and the kisses,” she teased, and he knew she was remembering years ago when he had left the chocolate kisses in and with various people at the hospital, letting her know it had been him doing it only when she had arrived at home.
“Chocolate kisses are sweet,” he responded and she laughed softly, foregoing the candy, and coming close to kiss him again.
“Dada. Na-na, please.”
“Of course, my love. I’m so sorry.” He took a banana from the bowl and peeled it, cutting it into pieces and placing it in a bowl. He gave it to her with a small fork and kissed the top of her head. “That should buy us a few minutes.”
“Right, let me get your-”
“Did you see what was on the hearts?” he asked, stopping her from getting his gift. She looked up at the hearts and then back at him. “Oh right, they’re up quite high. Let me help you reach them.”
“You’d better watch it,” she said, reaching up, but he was ahead of her and he cut the twine with some scissors, a single heart fluttering into her hands.
“Stubborn,” she read and looked at him, with her eyebrows raised.
“Oh… whoops. That wasn’t supposed to be the first one. Let’s try this one.” He cut down another single heart and she caught it.
“Empathy. That’s much better.” She gave him a look and walked to the next single heart, waiting to catch it. He grinned as he snipped the twine and once again she caught it.
Five more hearts were released from the twine, and when she had them all, she laid them on the counter.
“Intelligence. Empathy. Compassion. Beauty. Stubborn. Understanding. Loving. Sexy.” She looked at him with a grin and he raised a fist.
“Nailed it. First time truly celebrating in a loooooong time and I hit it outta the park.” He danced around, Faith laughing as she watched him, bananas squished in her hands and on her face.
“Yes, you did good. Now it’s my turn.”
“Bring it on, honey.”
“Dada, milk please.”
“I’ll get it,” Scully said, opening the fridge quickly and taking out her cup of milk.
She handed it to Faith and kissed her head, before opening the pantry and taking out a gift wrapped in pink paper with anatomically correct red hearts. He laughed as she handed it to him and she smiled.
“Gotta have some authenticity to it,” she stated with a shrug. He nodded and carefully unwrapped the box.
Lifting the lid and then the tissue paper, he drew in a breath. Looking up at her, she smiled softly and he shook his head as he looked back at the gift she had given him.
It was a collage of pictures held within a frame, in the center of which was a drawing of a grinning heart overflowing with other smiling hearts. Underneath was written, My heart is happy.
Every picture was from their visit. A picture of the house on its own. Him and Faith in the loft reading a book. Faith mid sled, him smiling happily with his arms out wide to catch her, the house in the background. One of them all by the fire, a squishy selfie they liked to call it. Another selfie in the snow, all of them red cheeked and grinning. Down by the water, him showing Faith how to throw sticks. Bella jumping out of the snow as Faith laughed. The snow family. Him and Faith asleep on the couch, her laying on his chest.
“I wanted you to see. To see the happiness I’ve seen in you,” Scully said quietly and he nodded, looking up at her with a lump in his throat, understanding the many layers to the gift.
“Thank you,” he said hoarsely. She grasped his forearm as he let out a deep breath, looking at the pictures again.
So much thought had gone into the choice of pictures, always showcasing the house and how happiness had outweighed the sadness previously held inside the walls.
“The best thing that you’ll ever have,” he whispered, shaking his head with a sigh.
“What?” Scully asked and he looked at her with a smile, setting down the frame and picking up his phone from where it was charging on the counter.
“I heard this yesterday and I…” He queued up the song and set the phone down, reaching for her hand and pushing play. “I swear it was written for us.” He watched her face as the first chords of the song began.
Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have
He smiled and she scrunched her chin, her eyes shining. He took her other hand and pulled her close as they began to sway slowly.
She always has trouble Falling asleep And she likes to cuddle While under the sheets She loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV There's still a few other things
He felt her chuckle and he held her tighter.
She loves love notes and babies And likes giving gifts Has a hard time accepting A good compliment She loves her whole family And all of her friends So if you're the one she lets in
Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her
On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that
So many thoughts and moments in their lives flashed in his mind. He heard her sniffling and he knew she was thinking of them as well.
Kiss her with passion As much as you can Run your hands through her hair Whenever she's sad And when she doesn't notice How pretty she is Tell her over and over So she never forgets
Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her
On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that
He pulled back and stared at her, cupping her face and rubbing his thumb across her cheek, as the song continued, speaking without saying a word. She shook her head and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and laying her head on his chest as the last lines of the song began to play.
On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that
As it ended, they remained swaying in each other’s arms, his arms holding her tightly.
“Mama. Dada. More food. Na-na all gone.” They both laughed, the private bubble they had been in popped, as reality came calling.
“More food?” he asked, pulling back from Scully, rubbing her arms as he did. “Did you make banana art today, or actually eat most of it?” Faith grinned at him and he shook his head at the mess she always made.
“Time for pancakes, I think,” Scully said, taking the premade bowl of batter from the fridge.
“Faithy look! It’s pink! Pink pancakes!”
“Yay! Pink pa-cakes!”
The heart kisses were moved into a bowl, Mulder opening one and offering it to Scully, who took it with happiness shining in her eyes. He found a Valentine’s Day playlist on his music app and they sang along and danced as they worked together to make breakfast.  
“You’re simply the best!” he sang into the spatula as he flipped the pink pancakes. “Better than alllllll the rest!” Scully laughed and Faith wiggled in her high chair.
Sitting down to eggs and pink heart shaped pancakes, Scully having purchased a heart cookie cutter at the store unbeknownst to him, they smiled at each other, toasting a successful Valentine’s Day.
As they ate, he glanced at the gift Scully had given him and looked around the kitchen, at the changes made for the better, and he made a decision.
“I’ll call Brian tomorrow, see if we can’t figure something out to keep this place as a rental. See if he has any suggestions for what we could do. I… I’m not quite ready to let it go just yet.” Scully smiled slowly and reached for his hand.
“I think that’s a great idea. I wouldn’t mind coming back.”
“I think that could be arranged,” he said, his words from years ago, holding more weight. A promise he intended to fulfill.
“Maybe when it’s warmer though. Perhaps when there is a little less snow.”
He laughed and nodded, imagining coming there in the summer, and the many activities they could do in the warmer weather.
“Yes, we’ll definitely have to come back when it’s warmer.”
“I’d like that,” she said and he nodded.  
“Me too.”
And he meant it.
____________________________________________
The song in this story is If You Love Her by Forest Blakk. I heard it and knew I had to include it in a story somehow. It’s such an MSR song.  
My friend who asked for the story makes MSR videos and asked if there was a song I would like her to use. I told her THIS song and she created an amazing video. I’ve included the link and you should all go check it out. It is simply beautiful. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEoHZiRNrGM
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missinghan · 5 years ago
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what if we ⤖ lee minho
❖ genre : college au; roommates au
❖ word count : 4,1k.
❖ warning : explicit language
❖ summary : Minho is more than fed up with your nonsense of not having a roommate until you graduate because he’s desperately in need of a new place after getting kicked out.
❖ a/n : the continuation of roommate lino is out now!
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one.
Minho takes dreadful strides into M.I.A Cafe, completely waterlogged from head to toe like a wet rat, drained from trying to walk back home without an umbrella—even if he had one, the wind would have taken him along with it on an exhilarating ride while Poseidon is throwing a rampage at Zeus or whatever gods up there.
He slumps into the nearest seat possible, sinking deeply into the cushioned surface only to stain the blue velvet with his sodden leather jacket. Anyone else happening upon the scene might notice a more than average looking college kid; Minho’s mesmerizing, he really is. But not just because of his catlike smile or stupidly good hair without even trying, it’s also because he’s the president of the dance club despite being a business major. It’s not hard for him to gain even more attention since he works at the cafe on campus anyway. 
However, all Woojin sees from overlooking his workplace is his idiotic coworker who left ten minutes ago has officially given up on going against the bloody family feud above and come back to make his life miserable. Kang is going to give him shit for the wet cushions because Minho’s shift has fortunately ended. And it only gets worse from there. The younger boy pushes himself off the chair and flings his dripping bangs away from his face before taking off his jacket, deciding it’s a good idea to sway it back and forth, splashing water all over the clean floor.
“Lee Minho,” Woojin raises his voice slightly but Minho simply ignores his threatening tone and stuffs his leather jacket into his backpack. 
The brunet makes his way over to the countertop, hopping effortlessly onto one of the bar stools. “I would like a Vietnamese coffee, please,” Minho shows his friend those ridiculous looking sparkly eyes like he just stepped out from an anime, and Woojin forces a smile through gritted teeth. “Come on, I’m tired, don’t look at me as if I’m in charge of the weather or something.”
Woojin remains silent, and so does his death glare. Hence, Minho gives in and props his head onto his hand lazily. “Fine, just give me a hot chocolate, I’m freezing over here,” he shivers stoically as his brain is multitasking (yelling at him and considering his options at the same time). With the sky roaring as if it’s raging on with other supernatural forces, Minho isn’t overly fond of heading outside by himself again. Meaning, plan A: get a ride or plan B: stay with Woojin until his graveyard shift is over. Minho’s having an eight AM tomorrow and he’s not about to walk up to the nurse’s office with a broken ankle for skipping three steps at a time. But in what world would a guardian angel appear out of nowhere to drive him home?
A random Twitter notification pops up and he swipes it away dejectedly, wholly uninterested. When Woojin slides the paper cup across the countertop, he catches a glimpse of Minho’s lock screen and gasps as if he just saw something out of the ordinary. It’s not. “You replaced your cats’ photo with Y/N’s instead? Okay, I see you, you sly little bitch,” he chuckles creepily while wiping his hand onto the white apron. 
“It’s temporary,” Minho sneers like a cat having someone step on its tail. “Besides, she hates it, that’s why I put it there.” 
“Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
Woojin is making a big deal out of this as if it’s a picture of you cuddling Minho or something. But in reality, it’s just a really ugly photo of you taking too big of a bite when he decided to flex his paycheck and took you out to a pizzeria. You forgave him because 1) you had the opportunity to eat real pizza after months of stocking up frozen ones from the supermarket, and 2) it’s only a matter of time until he’s over it and returns to his typical photos of his cats at home. 
“Yo,” Minho says after a sip of the hot beverage. “You’re moving out of Seungmin’s next week?”
Woojin replies, silently appreciating one of the rare civil conversations with his friend. “Yep, you? Don’t tell me that you haven’t found a place yet,” he stops himself right there, only to be met with complete dead silence. “Wait, you’re kidding, right? Aren’t you getting kicked out on Monday? How are you gonna find a place within three days?”
“Tough luck?” Minho shrugs nonchalantly, staring rather deeply at his lock screen, and an idea pops up inside his head. He feels the need to kick himself because he should have thought of this sooner. Biting his lower lip, he’s slightly nervous when his thumb taps onto your name in his contact. It’s not like you’re gonna rip his head off, why is he so jumpy about this anyway?
His train of thoughts get cut off when your raspy voice rings through his eardrums, “What do you want?”
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two.
Your white Rover pulls up in front of the cafe after five minutes of cursing at him through the phone while dragging yourself out of bed and another ten to drive to your unwanted destination. 
“Get in before I rip your head off,” you deadpan, pushing your bangs away from your face. 
“I love you, did you know that?” Your heart totally didn’t skip a beat at that. He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t have meant it. It was lighthearted, it sounded lighthearted but was it supposed to be lighthearted? Great, now your heart just gives up on you while your brain is harassing you with some stupid assumptions without valid shreds of evidence. 
Minho smiles sheepishly at you after waving to Woojin—who isn’t very interested in his departure and enters your car in relief. Although you were doing nothing but spitting strings after strings of curse words at him, it genuinely made him feel at ease when he heard your voice through the phone, hanging by three percent of battery left. 
“Also, spill the hot chocolate, and I’m gonna throw you on the highway,” you warn him before starting the engine. The only problem with your morbid remarks is that Lee Minho is exclusively immune to them because he too, shares the same amount of insanity with you like how you both shared a sad tuna sandwich last Tuesday when the school canteen tried to recreate a Chipotle bowl. You both tasted it. And you were offended. 
Minho tosses his backpack to the backseats and replies in monotone, “I won’t, just don’t kill us. That’s all I’m asking from you.” He looks awfully good for someone who’s completely rain-soaked. How fucking unfair.
“That’s all?” you question without looking at him in the eye. He only hums a random melody from a song that you can’t quite remember before plugging his phone in with your speakers. Your face morphs into a frown at his vague reaction, “Usually one thing leads to another, you never ask me for a single favor and just leave me alone, are you sure that you didn’t forget your wallet and now you wanted a new tattoo?” 
He breaks into a fit of giggles at that, three are already enough for his ancestors to haunt him in his sleep. And your heart magically comes back more alive than ever at the sound; it really needs to stop doing that before you’re found dead on the street just by talking to him on the phone or something. “It’s not that,” Minho scratches the nape of his neck. “I’m basically gonna be homeless next week if I don’t manage to find a new place in like...three days.” 
The car grows silent for a second there before Didn’t know me by Heize starts blasting through the speakers when he puts one of his playlists on random. You look over at him deep in the eye, thinking rather thoroughly about this. And Minho starts feeling knots in his stomach when you avert your gaze back onto the road. Are you perhaps...mad at him?
“Don’t-even-think-about-it,” you deadpan. “You know how Yeji pleaded to move in with me after freshman year, and..failed miserably.”
“Come on! You can’t be this heartless, are you really gonna let me sleep on the sidewalk for a good three weeks?”
You click your tongue in annoyance while making a turn to the left. “I never said that you moron,” An eye roll soon follows your statement, and before Minho can even say anything, his mouth snaps shut, eyes wide. “You know that Chan lives alone right?”
He protests, “Chan always let Changbin and Jisung crash to make music. Besides, it’s a studio apartment, like hello? I’m not planning on losing my beauty sleep here. ”
“Woojin?”
“After the mess I made back there? He will murder me, Y/N,” Minho says without a single shred of fear in his voice, yet he’s giving you those Puss in Boots eyes as if he’s gonna let Woojin snap his head off that easily. Jeongin is still living on campus, and Minho would rather be sleeping with dead rats than sharing a room with Jisung because Seungmin would never let him step a foot onto his white carpet. 
You scrunch your nose and ignore the golden specks in his eyes, “You didn’t even try asking him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind housing you for a few weeks. He’s a good guy and definitely doesn’t hate your ass enough to not let you sleep in the living room.”
“But,” he pouts sadly, in which you’re completely unaffected by. But here’s what makes your chest swell. “I like spending time with you,” he mumbles under his breath. Huh? Your heart rate falls flat before coming back to thunder inside your chest cavity twice as fast. Did he really just-
Minho sighs, and suddenly his shoulders start getting heavy. He feels rejected, but he shouldn’t since it’s not mandatory for you to let him stay with you. Perhaps, he’s nothing but a complete nuisance in your eyes after all. “But if you say so,” he murmurs, eyes turning stormy and you can feel a pit at your stomach. “I guess I’m gonna call Woojin then..”
And he ends the conversation there, abruptly. 
Raindrops knocking at your car’s windows. The sounds of his fingers tapping against the keyboard. Even your own rhythm of breathing. Everything’s piling onto your back as if you’ve just committed a terrible sin. 
Woojin is really busy this year, preparing for grad school and everything. And your current courses are pretty easy to handle, it’d be mean of you to let him contain Lee Minho while working two jobs. Especially when he’s constantly turning in assignments at a single minute right before the deadline. So with the little amount of morality left, you tell yourself to stop being a little bitch and start considering the possibilities of having a roommate for the very first time. 
“Fine,” you grumble after a good twenty seconds of thinking. “You can use my old air mattress, a month should be good before you’re able to find a new place. So we’re taking turns washing the dishes and splitting the bills in half, cool?”
Minho’s brain suddenly demands every part of his body to stop, his finger hovering over the ‘send’ button. “Gee okay, I get it, you don’t like having roommates. But you don’t have to be so pressed about it,” he concludes almost too fast for your brain cells to comprehend what’s going on in his mind. Was he even listening to you? “I knew you weren’t gonna let me stay with—“ His words instantly come to a halt, eyeballs ready to pop out of their respective sockets any second. 
“What?” he blurts, round eyes staring right at you expectantly. 
You scratch your nose with your ring finger when a coral tint rises on your cheekbones, something that you do a lot whenever you’re nervous. “I said you can come and stay with me for the time being,” you say lamely, having a spontaneous interest in the row of Sumikko Gurashi figures that Minho gave you on your birthday last year. “I don’t want you to poison Woojin with your cooking, roomie.”
“You’d better feed me then, Ramsay,” he beams with a bright smile—far brighter than the Sun itself and any of the stars above. And who were you kidding? It’s not his cooking that you’re worrying about. It’s not even Woojin that you’re worrying about. It’s him, you’re worried about him.
Besides, maybe you like spending time with him too. 
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three.
After a whole night of hauling three gigantic cardboard boxes along with two suitcases into your apartment, you drag Minho’s ass out of bed at nine in the morning, push him into your car and slowly reverse out of your apartment’s parking lot. 
He’s not very attentive to his surroundings when he’s tired so he didn’t mind the monotonous voice of the news reporter coming out of the speakers. Whereas, he would have yelled at you by now to shut it off so he can blast his Spotify playlist at maximum volume to annoy people who apparently don’t know how to park their cars properly. Still, he only finished unpacking half of his luggage at four so it didn’t occur to him how little time he spent half-sleeping against your car’s window. 
It didn’t occur to him how you managed to maneuver him out of the vehicle either. But when his eyes start hurting from rubbing them too much, Minho realizes that you’re piloting him through an old couple shopping hand in hand, a sweaty man in his mid-forties wearing a tracksuit and a child tugging at his mom’s skirt, begging for a lollipop. He gazes downward, eyes stop dead in their tracks seeing your hand intertwined with his while your free one is scrolling through the list of groceries on your phone. 
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, glad that you’re finally awake,” the amount of sarcasm laced in your tone just makes the blush on his cheeks disappear in the span of half a second. 
Minho makes a face and pulls his hand back to grab a cart, trailing after your footsteps grimly like an obedient puppy. “Waking up early was not in the contract,” he lets out the loudest yawn possible without covering his mouth, no manners whatsoever. “That lawsuit for child labor? Pending.”
You chuckle dryly and toss a box of oatmeal cookies into the cart, not really caring that he’s sleepy and tired. You’re the one who’s driving after all. “It technically is,” you say with a meek smile and turn around, watching him throw in a bag of popcorn, barbecue flavored chips, and other junks that scream college staple food. He told you that he’s making use of the school’s gym five times a week but seeing the amount of trash that’s piling up, you doubt that his efforts are gonna matter at this point. 
“I told you that we’re grocery shopping every Monday morning because we both don’t have classes on Monday mornings.”
Minho only groans loudly like a damsel in distress until you both reach the vegetable aisle. He immediately goes for the asparagus and broccoli, probably to water down the amount of sodium from the chips. 
You’re not sure if it’s just because he’s sleepy but the rest of your banter while raiding the supermarket is fairly civil. In short, it’s the most normal conversation you’ve ever had with him. Not that you’re complaining, it's actually really nice to see how he also has a soft side to him. Not only did Minho grab the chicken breasts for Chan because that guy cannot live without them, but he also called Changbin to check which flavor of the protein bar that he prefers. It seems like he’s gonna crash at Chan’s place for an upcoming secret project. 
When you both queue up at the self-checkout line, he observes the light blue packaging of your shampoo curiously. He notices how you stopped getting the twelve ounces bottle and went for the twenty-four ounces one instead. 
“You’re still using this one? I thought you said you wanted to change it up every time?” He asks, propping his head onto your shoulder lazily. Minho remembers how you started to try out this brand three months ago and he laughed his ass off at you for being so determined to go through all of their scents. It’s dumb, yes, but he commented on every single one of them anyway. 
“Hello? Earth to Y/N?” 
Your body tenses up when he sniffs at your hair, nose brushing against the back of your ear, and it’s not helping either when his forearms are resting against the lines of your waist so he can hold onto the cart while you’re too busy bombarding Yeji with questions about the frat party she attended last night. You’re basically trapped between him and the cart; you can’t believe you’re only realizing that just now. 
“Hold up, I thought you usually go grocery shopping alone?” Yeji flips the table and inquires slyly on the other line, then she lets out an audible gasp. It’s so loud that Minho staggers backward from surprise, almost hitting the cart behind. “Is that Lee Minho?! Y/N, what are you two doing at the Asian market at ten AM? Together?!”
Words spill out of your mouth before you can even process them properly. “We saw each other coincidentally and ended up using the same cart.” And now you want to put your head through a wall because what kind of an answer was that? Your brain had to malfunction at that very moment, in the middle of that very call, it just had to. “Okay, whatever, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow during Park’s lecture, see you,” you hang up just like that, not knowing how to act because now you have to tell Yeji about how you—a complete loner—is finally having a roommate. But that roommate isn’t her specifically. 
“You good? You look a bit..feverish,” Minho rests a hand on your forehead while his free one pushes the cart forward. Still in a daze, your heart shudders, and your back accidentally comes in contact with his chest, making you drop your phone onto the carton of eggs in a panic. “Careful there, that’s two months worth of eggs,” he reminds you, clearly not having a single clue of how giddy you are right now. 
Also, saying that you’re giddy is an understatement. 
You shake your head and mutter, “Right, sorry, you were saying?”
“I just asked why you stopped trying the rest of the scents and committed to April Cotton so easily.”
“It’s because you said it’s the best one so far,” you answer honestly, almost too honestly because right now, Minho feels like someone’s using his heart to juggle right inside his chest cavity. 
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four.
That night, after Minho’s monstrous shift at the cafe and three hours of you FaceTiming Yeji to procrastinate about a writing assignment, you both are sprawled across your white fuzzy carpet that sheds more than three of his cats combined. 
In between is an empty cup of McFluffy, a sad piece of pepperoni pizza and leftover fries, all being placed on a piece of newspaper because Minho’s promised you that if he ever dirtied your carpet, he’d take you to a concert. His bank account isn’t ready for that yet. A Dog’s Way Home just ended two minutes ago and as the ending credits roll, you’re all curled up inside your over-sized hoodie, sniffling into a piece of tissue. 
“Day one with your new roommate here and you’re already shedding tears Jesus Christ,” Minho tells you after stretching his limbs out tiredly, eyes becoming droopy.  
“Shut up,” you punch his arm and laugh, wiping the remaining of your tears with your sleeves. “I swear I saw your eyes watering when Bella reunited with Big Kitten.”
“They did not?” He shoots you a shit-eating grin when he settles back down onto the floor, supporting his head with his hands. To be fair, the CGI was kinda shitty, a little bit noticeable but the reunion was too emotional for him to care about something as meaningless as that. 
Minho ignores how you’re mumbling something and instead, turns onto his side and grabs a piece of fries, chewing obnoxiously. “So, Y/N,” he inquires rather cautiously. “How does it feel like to finally have good company along with good food?” 
You hum for a while but answer with little consideration, eye closed, “I could use someone with a smaller mouth, and a smaller ego too but yeah, it’s kinda dope.” And you open one side of your eyes to see him being the literal CTRL+V of the surprised Pikachu meme. He looks betrayed, as if someone just sneaked into your apartment and snatched all of his packets of instant ramen in one go, just like whoosh, out the door they go with his daily breakfast. 
“It feels kinda nice too,” you proceed to continue, staring at the ceiling to avoid eye contact with him. “Because I know although this person acts like an asshole most of the time, he’s just a really big softie on the inside. I like how he called his friends in the middle of his shopping trip to see if he’s getting them the right flavor of protein bars, how he paid for the groceries even though we’re equally broke, and how he skipped dance practice to volunteer at a nursing home every weekend.” 
You’re not looking, but you’re pretty sure that Minho’s smile is growing so big, his cheeks are about to crack in half. “I didn’t tell anyone about that,” he stifles a laugh. “It’s either you’re somewhat a creep or you’re just really cautious about what kind of people you let into your life.”
“I’m a loner, what can I say?” You chuckle lightheartedly, feeling slightly fuzzy inside for no particular reason. “I am really cautious when it comes to stuff like that because the more you let people into your life, the more it hurts when they decide they’re gonna leave you.”
“Hah! So that’s why you’re so stubborn about the whole not having a roommate thing?” You nod sheepishly at that, feeling kinda embarrassed because it feels like he’s unraveling your secrets right under your nose. 
The signature catlike smile lingers on his lips when you turn on your right to face him, and your useless heart thinks it’s a good time to skip a beat when your eyes meet his round ones with ridiculously beautiful lashes. You’ve never felt like this towards anyone before, it’s risky, you know it but you think you can trust him. You can trust Lee Minho. 
Although he wasn’t this big, sassy persona that has a questionable obsession with cats and dancing when you first met him. You encountered Minho for the very first time backstage at the school’s music festival to support 3RACHA’s performance. Initially, he made absolutely no effort to even greet you like how a civil human being would, but he was intrigued when he saw the SpiderMan plush keychain on your backpack. And it seemed like fate was only trying to push both of you closer together because you kept bumping into him on campus. So it’s only a matter of time before he decided that he hated eating lunch alone and asked for the empty seat next to you, offering you his watered-down cup of coffee. 
“What made you change your mind then? Why not just reject me?” Minho scoots closer to you, eyes sparkling with anticipation. 
“Because I feel like..you won’t be leaving me anytime soon..”
“Damn right, I can never stop bothering you.”
You don’t know where, how, or why you can muster every fiber of courage left inside of you to tell him that. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? Maybe this is a sign, the universe wants you to stop being so closed up all the time and open up to new people (regardless of how shitty you think they are) because life’s way too short to play the role of the lone traveler on this planet. And it’s madness to think that all it took this boy was half a cup of Vietnamese coffee and a call at such an ungodly hour for your heart to be completely his. Nothing’s gonna change much, you think. You’re gonna still free-fall into this hellhole called ‘college’ with your first world problems like everyone else but the only difference is that you don’t have to be alone anymore. There’s a hand for you to hold, a shoulder for you to lean on and your heart has found its new home. You don’t think you’ve ever felt it being so alive before. However, you’re not against it even when you’re still dubious. 
Because that’s how you’re supposed to feel your entire life. 
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❖ p/s : I hope you enjoyed this little monster that I managed to whip up in the past few days, I thought it’d be nice if I could give you guys smth as a “parting gift” for my [rest]. I was very, very sleep-deprived as I proofread this so please don’t come for me & I’ll see you in the next fic!
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poulpichou · 4 years ago
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Government failures and fucked-upperies in France
Ok, so I recently wrote a bit about the situation with police brutality in France, but now I would like to tell you more about WHY the government needs the police so much. A lot of my sources will be in french (and marked (F) like this) because there are a lot of cases that didn’t make it to the international press. Many sources also come from the newspaper Mediapart and require a subscription.
I’ve had a lot of people telling me “BuT It’S nOt ChInA” and let me tell you, yes I know it’s way worse in other countries (Peru, Thailand, Nigeria and so on, a lot is happening right now in the world), but where the fuck do you draw the line? The kind of things I’m gonna tell you about is unacceptable, and so hypocritical when a country calls itself a democracy and the land of human rights, and we should be angry about that and try to make it change. Here I’m talking a lot about Macron but let’s not forget that many current problems began under Holland’s presidency, who was supposed to be from the left, and even before. Alright, here we go.
President of the wealthy
Soooo let’s begin with how Macron was elected by wealthy people: half of the 16 million euro collected for his campaign was financed(F) by 1200 people, mostly living in Paris, by banks, and also by rich french people living abroad. So of course the first thing he did when he could was to reward them for his victory and he cut their taxes in december 2018. He deleted the “taxe on fortune” that was in place for 40 years (minus 3 years under Chirac first presidency) and replaced it with another that taxes way less, in the name of trickle down economy (you know, the same way Thatcher and Reagan did) saying that rich people would invest more and thus creating more jobs. Of course that didn’t happen and rich people just got way richer without any effects on poor people.
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At the same time, he cut down housing benefits for students and poor people (1/4 of people between 18 and 24 are under the poverty line) and cancelled housing helps for 50,000 people. In december 2018, he wanted to pass a law that would increase fuel prices in the name of ecology, but that would once again mainly affect working and middle classes. That’s how started the yellow vest movement, because people were becomming poorer and poorer and they felt like the government only gave to the rich and took from the poor.
In 2018, 14% of the french population was under the poverty line, and 21% suffer from food insecurity and it has only worsened since.
At the end of 2019, a student even set himself on fire at his university because he was in such financial distress he couldn’t go on anymore.
Yellow Vest movement
If you have to read one article about it, it’s this one.
In 2017, Macron said in one of his speeches about a train station that it was “a place where one encounters people who are succeeding and people who are nothing”. The yellow vest movement came from these “people who are nothing”. For the first time in decades, people who were not heard, people who didn’t have a place in the political landscape in France were on the front scene. A lot of protestors never demonstrated before, or even engaged in politics. Many of them now protested because “they had nothing else to lose” (F). People were angry from not being listened to and being used only to allow rich people to get richer, and oh boy they showed it in the street.
The first protests took the government by surprise. They were not expecting the numbers of protestors, nor their determination. The protest were also completely different from the demonstration the state was used to deal with: there were no official leaders, making it really difficult for the government to negotiate, demonstrations were often not declared beforhand in prefectures (F), and people were systematically targetting (F) banks, major brands like Apple or McDonalds and luxury shops, causing millions euro worth of damages.
On the 1st of december 2018, protestors in Paris took over the Arc de Triomphe and completely overfloaded the police.
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One policeman said afterward that on this day, “the Elysée could have fallen” (F). Police forces were not prepared, the right orders were not given at the right times and some police company were surounded by furious protestors. The same policeman said that in that moment, “they forgot about their code of ethics”, that they were just shooting rubber bullet wherever they could and “trying protect their life”. The following weeks, police put on steel fences around the Elysée and members of the government and their collaborators were asked to lock down and put away all of their documents(F) before the weekly demonstrations, in case the protestors were able to take over the buildings.
It was a turning point in the protests, and from then the orders given to the police changed completely. From then they’ve been allowed to litterally do whatever it took to keep the country in order. The government understood that the last thing between them and the furious people they betrayed was the police, and that’s precisely why they are trying to give them even more power today with the law on global security (see my last post, and probably a next one I’m gonna write soon because it would be too much for this post).
Since December 2018, a journalist, David Dusfresne, documents and keeps count on the police brutality, first on twitter and then on the online newspaper Mediapart(F) (TW for really graphic pictures of wounds and blood). For now he counted 4 deaths, 30 people who lost an eye due mainly to rubber bullets, 6 who lost a hand due to detonative grenades (France is being the only european country to use them against its own population), 346 wounded to the head (fractured skull mainly, due to the rubber bullets and baton blow) and a total of 969 documented reports on police brutality (and that’s only for 3 years).
Since then, a total of 9 police officers have been judged guilty, 7 of them being only suspended temporarily and avoiding prison, with only 2 of them ending up in prison(F) and being expelled from police forces.
People began to record the police more and more to prevent any brutality or to have proofs in case it happened, and then the police began to target journalists and anyone who had a camera.
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They began to lie to people, telling them it’s forbiden to record the police (for now it isn’t), they forced photographs to delete their photos in the middle of demonstrations. They covered their ID number on their uniform (F), they covered their licence plates.
The government also began to talk about legitimate protest, aka the peacefull one, and put the name of “casseur” (thug) on anyone who would be too angry. to their taste, saying that the latter were taking the former in hostage. Basically they were saying tht yes, protestors took aver the arc de Triomphe, but it was only hooligans who just wanted to burn things, nothing political behind that.
Here began the preventive arrests (F) before demonstrations (arresting people who had done nothing on the only presumption they will), the arrest of journalists, the arrest of people having masks and protection glasses on them. From now on the administration can ban someone from public demonstration without going through the justice system.
Between November 2018 and November 2019, around 3,000 person(F) from the yellow vest movement were senteced to community services, fees, suspended prison sentence, and for 1/3 of them prison sentences. Those numbers are underestimated because many cases have not been judged yet. Some protestors were sentenced for shouting slogans(F), for wearing protective masks(F) (F), other were sent to prison for damaging radars(F) on highways, or for filming riots while wearing a yellow vest(F). There has been a massive tendency(F) for the state to sue people for “participation to a gathering with the intent to commit violences against persons or goods”, allowing them to give fees, community services or even prison sentences to people based only on the intent they gave them. Many people found guilty of attacking police forces were judged with the only proof being the declaration of police officers, and even though a lot of them claimed to be innocent they were still sentenced because they couldn’t bring proof of their innocence.(F) Amnesty International talks about the criminalization of demonstrators(F) that’s happening in France and warns about the instrumentalisation of laws that goes against international law. (F)
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The ban on masks (they can be considered as weapons) during demonstration allows police to take protestors(F) who have some on them or in their car to the police station for a maximum of 48h for the sole purpose of making them miss the demonstration. This law is not applied nowadays because of Covid, but it still exists.
With the yellow vest movement, the part of the population who wasn’t used to the police actually began to endure what POC have been living for decades.
Racisme
France is a fucked up racist country. It was born in colonisation and slavery, and still rely on its former colonies to prosper economically. Young men perceived as Black or Arab are 24 more times likely to be stopped in the streets. The overwhelming majority of people killed by the police are black or arabic(F). When the police kills POC, the judiciary system often refuses to do a full investigation, refuses to hear some of the witnesses, refuses to watch some of the video tapes from surveillance cameras (F). A lot of autopsies are proved to be ballant lies, founding heart diseases(F) or blood infections(F) when the victim was actually killed by suffocation due to ventral tackle, a police technique that got France sentenced by the European court of human rights (F).
BAC
Since the mid 90′s, France has special police forces for working-class neighborhoods, the Brigade Anti-Criminalité (BAC), that operate in suburbs (in France rich people live in the city center and poor people in the suburbs) where a majority of imigrants and people from black and arabic descent live. BAC agents are all volunteers, they act in unmarked cars and civilians clothes and can carry weapons(F).
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Their purpose is to roam the streets and to catch misdemeanor in the act, and they’ve been known (as well as regular police) to harass population by proceeding to systematic identity cheks(F) (often outside of what’s allowed by law), by insulting people(F), provoking people with racist and homophobic insults(F), by beating them(F) and charging them for “outrage” or “rebellion”(F) when they protest (charges that always give reasons to police officers when there’s no recordings of the arrest and allow them to get money for the prejudice). There have been reports of torture on adults(F), tennagers(F) and children(F), and cases where the BAC agents took victims to quiet places so they could beat them up(F). There have also been reports of agents inventing charges when their provocations didn’t push the victim to confront them(F).
They are basically above the law. There have been cases of massive corruption(F) where the agents returned to their unit(F) after the end of their suspension, and the person who leaked the info got fired.
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As they are field agents, their role is also intelligence: they gather intells in the suburbs and they also infiltrate demonstration(F) and wear the attire of “casseurs”, to gather intells on violent individuals. Since the beginning of the Yellow Vest movement, they’ve participating in containing demonstrations as well even though they don’t have any training in that field.
Refugees
Police is being extremely violent against refugees, particularly in Northern France and what used to be the “Jungle” of Calais. Amnesty International reported that police had been beating refugees with baton, confiscating their clothes and tent daily during winter (it also happened in Paris(F)), urinating on their tents, spraying teargas directly in the face of sleeping men. A group of 4 associations also issued a report(F) on police harassment against volunteers who helped refugees, with as much as 646 instances of police harassment and abuse against volunteers between November 2017 and June 2018 in Calais. Human rights observers reported harrasment techniques such as body search of female volunteers by male officers, insults, pushing, threats of legal suits and threats of arrest. Volunteers who reported these behaviours were told by the police internal investigation body that the reports where defamatory and could constitute a crime.
At the beginning of the year, associations that were not approuved by the state were forbidden to distribute free meals to refugees(F).
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Islamophobia
France has always been an islamophobic country but it has been more public and accepted since the 2015 terrorist attacks. Many laws promoting laicity are actually used to target Islam:
The ban of public display of religious items in public institutions (schools, libraries, government buildings) target mainly women wearing hijabs when many mayors keep on installing nativity scenes during Christmas(F). In 2016 some cities made wearing a burkini (full body covering bathing suit) on the beach illegal and we had some astonishing scenes of police officers asking a women (who wasn’t even wearing a burkini) to undress on the beach in the name of the law.
The law that says people have to uncover their face when being in a public space only target muslim women and is now completely useless as we have the obligation to wear a mask everywhere
The law that says street prayers have to be autorized in prefecture beforehand only target muslim community: when a muslim association organized a street prayer(F) in 2017 to protest their eviction from their place of cult in the city center they were charged 10,000€ (5,000€ from the association and 5,000€ from its president), whereas catholics students organized a street prayer(F) last month and didn’t face any charges. Legally, any autorization must be asked more than 3 days in advance and in both cases it was only asked on the day before.
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Following the killing of Samuel Paty, a teacher who was attacked mid october for showing caricatures of the prophet Mohamed in class, four 10 years old children were arrested for “terrorism apology”(F), interrogated for 10 hours and their houses checked by police forces in full gears. The minister of interior also disolved the Collective against Islamophobia in France, saying that, since it was prottesting against anti-terrorist laws (that are super islamophobic) it was promoting radical islamism and terrorism. A minute of silence was imposed in schools and the names of people who didn’t follow the procedure were given to the minister of education, who said “none of them will be left unpunished”.(F)
To sum up: the government is being super islamophobic but muslims who voice their concerns are seen as radical islamists and are associated with terrorists.  Furthermore, it’s now easier for islamophobic people in government to ban associations or to pass shady laws thanks to the state of emergency.
State emergency
Following the 2 years of state emergency (2015-2017), France passed a law against terrorism(F) that normalized a lot of the state emergency’s characteristics: it took power away from the justice system to give it to administrations, directly under the control of the government.
The government, who previously had to be accountable in front of a judiciary judge, can now do many things under the only control of an administrative judge(F). The actions of administrative judges are controled by the council of state, and the president of the said council is the prime minister or the minister of justice, named by the president.
Here is what they can now do(F):
place people under house arrest with obligation to check in police stations every day for a maximum of a year
deny or restrict access to public events to some people, or proceed to body search
make someone wear an electronic bracelet when they didn’t commit any infractions
close places of worship for a maximum of 6 months when the ideas discuted there promote hate, discrimination, violence or terrorism
require people to give their login of any account on internet to the police
investigate on civil servants using secret services files
create a national centralized file with the names of people travelling in and out of the country by plane or boat
With the autorisation of a judge of freedom and detentions, they can also search houses and seize computers or phones to inspect the contents.
If people refuse to do any of the above when they are asked to, they risk 3 years of prison and a fee that can go up to 45,000€.
The offense “terrorism apology” was used against hundreds of people, with a large proportion of them being underaged (1/3 of them in 2015), sometimes for something as unsignificant as a non-violent facebook comment, a situation pointed out by Amnesty International(F). The NGO also highlights the fact that the fear of being considered as an extremist or the fear of facing judiciary consequences sets limit to freedom of speech.
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Since 2015, the government has used the power given to them by the state of emergency to place 24 environmental activists under house arrest for the duration of the COP21(F) and to search the house of people who were protesting against the construction of an airport(F), construction potentialy linked to corruption(F), and also to close temporarly more than 30 mosques and install security cameras inside(F).
The consulting national commission on human rights pointed out a “highjack” of the state emergency, that was used to silence protestors, unions and refugees with abusive means, like unnecessary handcuffing, adults and children being aimed at with assault riffle during house searches and house being damaged during searches.
2015 was also the year of the Intelligence Act, a law that allows inteligence agencies to install scanning devices on the infrastructure of telecom operators so they can collect data on communications that are likely to reveal a terrorist threat.
Covid 19
When the epidemy started to be problematic in France in February 2020, hospital workers had been on strike for 11 months(F) and were asking for doctors and nurses jobs opening, and more beds in hospital. At the beginning of february, 600 administrative hospital workers had quit(F) so they were not “accomplices of the management of misery”. Healthcare workers had been saying for years that the deterioration of the working conditions in hospitals were gonna lead to patients death.
Since the beginning of the 2000′s, 100 000 beds have been removed(F) from hospital services and there has been a budget cut close to 12 bilions euros(F) for the health services.
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Then comes Covid 19, and the government asks health workers to always do more with less, in the name of common good. We applaud them at our windows every night, and then they don’t get the bonus(F) the government promised, the healthcare system doesn’t get any budget increase and even worse, it still has to face a 800 milions cut in the middle of the pandemic(F).
The newspaper Mediapart issued a report(F) exposing the lies of the government:
They decided to get only small quantities of masks at the beginning of january against experts opinion, they said the virus wouldn’t reach France.
Government lied about the usefullness of masks to prevent people asking for them when they didn’t have some to distribute to the whole population. They said it was useless, and even dangerous because we didn’t know how to use them, they actively encouraged people not to wear them, and they lied about mask shortage. I really want to insist on that point, the instensity of communication on the subject was incredible. Every day we had many different high-ranked person in the government telling us on TV, on the radio or in newspaper that we shouldn’t wear masks. They only made wearing masks compulsory in public spaces mid July, 6 months after the first case in France(F).
Healthcare workers didn’t have enough masks and thus faced higher risks of contamination but the government still allowed non essential big companies like Airbus to use milions of the precious FFP2 masks. The government still refuses to give the number of healthcare workers who died from Covid19(F), the only count we have is made by journalists, and it’s believed to be underestimated.
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To this day, healthcare workers are still on strike for better working conditions and better pay. I took this pic earlier this month from one of the firestations in my city, you can read written in white paint on the doors “understaffed, population in danger”, “18 months of strike and still NOTHING”, “Covid bonus ???” and “SOS”. Firefighters also write this on their trucks and their helmets, and hospitals have had banners deployed for more than a year now. All of these people are still working to ensure everyone’s access to health services but they refuse to transfer data to the state sickness insurance for example (and they are now facing administrative sanctions(F) and are threatened to not be given cancer drugs if they don’t end the strike(F)).
Regarding Covid, we are one of the only countries in europe to use self-filled certificates to be able to go outside. These certificates are controlled by the police, and like I said earlier, increased police controls harm a certain part of the population (young people and POC). Amnesty International issued a report(F) on the violences comited during french lockdown, pointing out repetitive and significant illegitimate actions from the police, such as beatings, use of tasers, illegal arrests, racists and homophobics insults and verbal threats. In April 2020, Mohamed Gabsi, a homeless person, was killed by the police after being arrested for being outside during the lockdown(F). The officers who killed him are still in service.
The covid crisis brought us in the worst recession we had since WW2, and the Secour Populaire (french association that helps poor people) had to help 45% more people than it helped in 2019(F). In my city, there are so many people coming for food distribution on certain days they had to install permanent fences in the street so people can queue in order.
Corruption and Other Stuff
In France (as in many other countries) it’s rare to have politicians who’ve never been prosecuted in any judiciary or administrative case.
Here I’m only gonna tell you who have been accused and who have been prosecuted for what in Macron’s government, and quite frankly it’s not exhaustive because one wikipedia page just brings me to 5 more.
The following tab is quite heavy so feel free to just check the left column with the legend.
(Now let me cry thinking about this Swedish minister who had to quit over a chocolate bar)
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(All my sources are from french newspapers, I can give them if you ask me but I’m not gonna put them here because there are way too many)
People who had to quit the first government were still appointed deputy governor of the Bank of France (Sylvie Goulard), president of the national assembly (Richard Ferrand) and chief of foreign affaires commission at the national assembly (Marielle de Sarnez). They are being investigated for corruption and embezzlement and they still have a successfull political career, and more important they still heavily influence the laws of our country and of Europe. Sylvie Goulard was even chosen by Macron to seat at the European Commission but european deputies decided it was fucked up and rejected her appointment (F).
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In this list I only talked about members of the government but there has been other scandals linked to people around Macron.
Benalla cases: It all began when we discovered Alexandre Benalla, chief of security and travels for the president, was participating in demonstration as a policeman (which he wasn’t) and used his position to beat up protestors and passerby. The rest of the case is filled with destruction and hiding of evidences(F), illegal sharing of public surveillance videotapes by the police, undeclared guns(F), illegal but unpunished use of data by the police(F) and the Elysée(F), breaking of the judiciary control by Benalla, illegal diplomatic passports and meeting with african’s leaders, russian contracts with an alleged mafia boss(F), office searchs for a newspaper ordered by the State, who tried to seize the proofs and the sources the newspaper had on the case(F) and so on. The case involves several members of the government and members of special forces, and some journalists who were writing on it were then auditionned for disclosure of state secret(F). The case in general highlighted the impunity members of the government and police officers have, as well as anyone who is close to the president, but also the dysfunction in the justice system and the impossibility for high ranked people to face justice. The fucker is still free, taunt people on twitter and still gives interviews to national television.
Kohler case: Alexis Kohler, general secretary of the Elysee and Macron right hand man during his campain, hid his personnal links to the sea transporters MSC and then attributed them huge state funds. He also lied in his involvement in the decision. We discovered Macron sent a letter to the national financial prosecutor's office to clear him, which they did, until an anti-corruption association relaunched legal proceedings. The guy is now being prosecuted for corruption and bribery. (F) (F)
Conclusion
Fuck the police, eat the rich, let’s forbid them from being elected, a next long post on the Law on Global Security the governement is trying to pass is gonna come soon if you’re interested.
Please tell me if you see any inconsistency in this post, I tried to source it as much as I could and to verify everything I wrote but like anyone else I have bias and sometimes I wrote things at 5am so I’m aware I might be incorrect  and I’m open to constructive criticism. Also sorry for my approximate english sometimes.
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decadenceisnomore · 4 years ago
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I’ll be clarifying everything i can in case you’re confused of what’s happening Greetings, my name is Daniztic and about a year or more ago, until now of course, i made an au called UF4!Underfell, a simple take on underfell which would soon become Decadent Society, the au since from the start had the intention of being Underfell, but in the style of Swapfell, as we can clearly see the fell on Swapfell is way different than the fell of Underfell itself. The au was dead for a long time, with nothing more than a sans and a papyrus design, before i soon put myself into a whole day or even more of work to make a full cast for the au, and people seemed to love it, and soon fan arts started to come by, i even managed to a friend of mine make a canon megalovania replacement for the au, named Sentence. But well, the au soon started becoming a problem, with dozens of people complaining about how it was just a Swapfellswap, or idk, Revertswapfell, i remembered i even got comments saying it was Revertmafiaswapfell dude, like, bro, and that only made me lose more and more motivation as that wasn’t the intention i had for the au, yet people were taking it wrong. So as a last try, i decided to give the au one last reboot, which would completely twist all the designs, concepts and etc. and abandoning the old concept of Underfell ITSO Swapfell, soon becoming a mid-term of an Underfell take and even an Original AU, yet there was still issues. Legacy, as how i decided to nickname the oldest versions of Decadent Society was never actually forgotten, in fact it’s still the most famous version of Decadent Society, which brought me into pure desmovation, as there was a tiny portion of people that seemed to like the new version, while the rest would just go with “The new one feels weird, it doesn’t have the same vibe from the old one”, which was actually what i wanted to do, not use any of the aesthetic the old one had, yet people still seemed to prefer the old version And well, i decided to give up, but actually give up, if that makes sense, i kinda want to move on from Decadent Society, so anyone who’s reading this, you can now consider that Legacy!Decadent Society is the canon one, any reboot content i’ve made so far was deleted from the internet as a whole, it probably still has reposts out there idk, and of course, fan art, but any source that was from me is gone, not because i want reboot gone, but because i want to decadent society to be gone Now now, if you really prefered reboot over legacy, i actually don’t have bad news for you, if you follow me on any of my accounts such as DeviantART (D4niztic) and Twitter (@D4niztic) you might be seeing the comeback from those designs, i’m planning on actually doing something with them, maybe a new AU with a new concept in mind that would be suitable for almost all the designs i’ve made so far for the cancelled reboot of Decadent Society So to clarify everything, Legacy!Decadent Society is the canon Decadent Society, smoking golden chain smug sans is canon again Please, i just hope i won’t be bothered about this au anymore, that’s why i won’t be turning on asks or anything related to that, i hope you can understand why i decided to do that and maybe even respect my decision Peace out everyone - Daniztic
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bbaronpiper · 4 years ago
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Summer heat
This was requested by a lovely anon. sorry it took like 2 weeks. 
2, 14, 19, 32, 43, 44, 92 (they don’t have to be all in one like you could divide them see which work together and write like more than 1 stories with any of theseee pls and thank you💞💞)
2.“Can I kiss you?” 14. “You don’t know what you do to me, do you?” 43. “God, I love your face.”
besides this, I got the inspiration from a fake text msgs I saw on twitter and tiktok videos. Hope you like it. :) 
warnings: fluff and smut 
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gif not mine. credits to the owner.
Arón x reader
Today’s weather is making you lazy. Lame excuse you know. But the summer heat on Madrid is the worst. You mean, you would love it if you were on the beach sipping on your cold, refreshing coconut juice while laying on the sand watching your boyfriend from a far, topless, who’s getting out of the water and is walking towards you shaking the water off of him. Damn he looked so hot. But it was all in your memory now as it was a day ago. You are now back in your apartment sweating so damn hard you feel yourself sticking into the sofa you were laying on.  
Bored as fuck, you decided to annoy your boyfriend who’s on his table getting some work done. Yeah, a day back in Madrid and he’s already working his ass off. You sat up a little to check if he was still on his desk. His eyes focused on the screen of his laptop with his eyebrows furrowed. Well at least he’s still topless. You smirk before laying on your back again.
“Arón?” you called out while staring on the ceiling.
“Would you still love me if I became a worm?” you asked after you heard a faint “hmm” from him.
“Why? Did you become one?” you heard him chuckle. You supported yourself against the back of the sofa to peak at him a little only to see him slightly standing up from his seat to check if you really became one.
“Yes or No?”
“You would cry if I said no” laughing as he went back to do his work.
“Just answer the damn question piper!” you pouted trying to keep the conversation going. After all, the goal was to annoy him.
“Si, por supuesto” (of course) he said not looking back at you. “now ssshh, I’m working”
You smiled and laid back down again “Would you carry me around and keep me safe?” suppressing a laugh on how stupid this question was.
“Bitch no, I’d feed you to the birds!” you heard him laugh loudly this time. You faked gasp and threw him a throw pillow you grabbed from the sofa. It missed him but still heard him say “heeyy! Stop it!” You couldn’t think of a good comeback as you felt the heat again. You decided to get yourself a glass of cold water. Walking past Arón and into the kitchen. His eyes followed your direction and still had a little smirk plastered on his lips. He whistled at you since you are just on your underwear. You snapped your head back at him and gave him a middle finger. “feed to the birds! huh!” you muttered as you stick out your tongue at him. You rolled your eyes at him after hearing him laugh again.
You are now leaning on the counter with your elbows, drinking while scrolling through your social media when a certain video compilation caught your attention. It was videos of girls walking in on their partners naked and filmed their reactions. You smiled devilishly to yourself. well this was gonna be easy. You know this would tear Arón away from his work since he never turned down sex. You slipped off of your underwear and slowly walked up to where Arón is while holding your panties in your hand. Careful not to see you too soon until you’re up close to him. You heard him talking to someone via video call as you got closer. You stood up right in front of his desk waiting for him to notice you.
His eyes glued to the laptop’s camera as he talks to his friend until you cleared your throat. He held up a single finger on you signaling to give him a minute still not looking up at you. You then throw your panties right in his face trying not to laugh. His eyes darted on the thing that fell on his lap trying to figure what it is while still talking to the person on the screen. Arón picked up the thing. His eyes widen in realization and looked up at you instantly. His mouth fell open in shock for a while as he saw your naked body but then replaced with a grin and a lustful look. His reflexes are quick to slam the laptop not even saying bye to his friend and stood up on his chair. He clasped his hands rubbing it together as he eyed you from your feet up to your boobs.
“God, I love your….. face” he said biting his lips as he got much closer to you still staring at your boobs. You then burst out laughing. You grabbed his chin with your index and thumb finger forcing him to look upward. “Umm. Well, hate to break it to you. but that is not my face. This is” you said pointing to your face laughing so damn hard seeing his erection through his shorts.
“Si, claro” nodding repeatedly as he grins widely at you. so wide he looks like a damn Cheshire cat. (LOL) He raised his hands to grab you but you instantly backed up. “Nope! No touching babe!” You are not making this easy for him, you had to make him suffer.  
“Y/N!!!” He whines like a baby. “let me take you right here bebe!” he begged but you just laughed at him. You refuse to fuck him here in this hot living room with you sweating all over. “NO! CATCH ME FIRST!” you screamed as you pushed past him, running towards the bedroom.
“Goddamn, Y/N!” you heard him say under his breath before hearing rapid footsteps after you. you were about to shut the door when his hands collided with the door. He was strong enough to stop it from completely closing. Knowing you’ll lose, you let go and starts to run towards the bathroom inside your shared bedroom. You squealed as he caught you by the waist and throw you up on his shoulder. You are now hanging onto him with your face on his back and your bare ass up to his face. He slapped your ass earning a laugh from you before walking towards the bed and threw you in it. He wasted no time, climbed up and hover over your naked body. He still has his shorts on but you can feel his growing dick on your thigh.  “You don’t know what you do to me, do you?” he whispered on your ear before kissing down your neck. It turned you on so bad but you’re still sweaty so you pushed his chest away from you and said while moaning “shower”
Growling, he then stood up abruptly taking him with you.  you blinked just once and you are already in the bathroom. He gripped the hem of his shorts before pulling it down in one swift, eager to fuck you already. His pupils now dark and larger as he nods towards the shower signalling you to turn it on. You did as you were told.
You closed your eyes as you felt relief once the cold water splashes your body. Your hands went up to raked your now wet hair down to your neck down to your boobs and squeezing it. you knew this would turn Arón crazy. And you weren’t wrong when you felt his hands on top of yours squeezing your breasts tighter while he pressed his body on yours. The feeling of his hard dick on your stomach turned you even more. You were not sure if the wetness trailing down your legs was water or was it your juices from your pussy. You smirked and open your eyes to see him staring back at you.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked. You laughed a little finding it cute that after all this time, after all the times he fucked you he still asks for your permission. “Only if you promised you’d find enough soil for me when I turn into a worm and not feed me to the birds then yes you can!”
He laughed along with you “Si! Si! Lo prometo!” (I promise) he swore before smashing his plump lips into your rosy ones. The kiss was rough he was really eager to have you. Deepening the kiss, you pressed your body against his harder only for him to push you back against the wall. His right hand stretched up to the side of your head preventing you from slamming into the wall too hard while his other hand was placed at your lower back.
He pulled away from the kiss only to kiss down to your neck sucking it lightly before going down to your breast. He took one nipple in his mouth licking and tugging on it while he cupped the other one. You on the other hand was moaning his name in pleasure. he kissed further down to your stomach to your pussy. You looked down on him as he was now kneeling in front of you. Your breathing becomes shallow as your nerves go crazy with excitement. He looked up at you hungrily before burying his face on your wet pussy. He flicked his tongue on your throbbing clit making you moan louder. He then gripped on your left leg, lift it up and place it over his shoulder gaining him more access. The new position gave you so much pleasure you almost feel your knees getting weak. You placed your hand on his shoulder for support while your other hand gripped his hair pushing him deeper. Thank god his curls are growing back giving you something to hold on to.  
“Arón! Oh… please… don’t stop!” you stutter, pleasure making it harder to speak. With this, he licked your clit faster and occasionally sucking on it. hard. Not long enough you felt yourself about to cum. Arón must’ve noticed this since he looked up at you and nodded never stopping until you came into his mouth screaming his name. He licked you clean before standing back up still supporting your weight. “You ready, baby?”  you nodded at his question and bit your lips which by the way turns him on even more. “turn around for papi, hmm?” you obeyed his request. Leaning both of your hands against the cold tiled wall. He gripped on your waist and slightly bend you over.  Feeling his dick up your ass almost make you want to cum again. He cupped your ass cheek tightly before slapping it. You screamed but it’s not hard enough to hurt you though you were just startled.
He slowly slid his length inside of you and waited for a few seconds before thrusting slowly in and out of you at first before going fast. The sound of both of your moans and skin slapping with each other are echoing through the bathroom. His hand reached for your boob and squeeze it hard making you straighten up his other hand reached for your clit and starts rubbing circles. You then reached for the back of his neck pulling his head closer as you felt your second orgasm about to come. Arón knew you too well to know what was about to happen.
“Hold it Y/N” he demanded.
“I – can’t” you moaned back. With that he pulled out of you completely. Leaving you feeling empty and confused.
“Turn back around” he said with his deep voice. You turned around and face him. “Jump” you obeyed his orders again. His hands supporting your ass. As soon as you’re pinned and secured  up on the wall, he quickly slammed back into you again, but this time he didn’t wait for you to adjust to his size. He pushed in and out of you faster and harder each time. Making you scream so loud. You never knew you could scream that loud until today while Arón on the other hand pressed his face on to the side of your head whispering and grunting things to you like “Puta, you feel so good Y/N” “Y/N! fuck! Te quiero!” “Si, bebe say my name” and so on.
You felt your postponed orgasm coming back after hearing him say those things. Arón, of course felt it too.
“Are you gonna cum?” He said, not really a question since he knew you are close. He picked up his pace even faster.
You nodded your head yes vigorously “Can I?” you asked
“Cum!” he almost screamed as he felt his own orgasm closing in.
“I’m cumming! I’m cumming! Arooon!” you screamed and finally let yourself go, holding onto Arón tightly as your whole body trembles.
“Fuuckkk!! Y/N” he screamed not long after you did as he filled you with his hot cum. Damn it felt so good. You always loved it when he cum inside you but he did it only a few times. Most of the time he pulls out of you and cum on your stomach instead, or on your mouth or somewhere else. He thrust a few more times before completely stopping. You both stayed like that pressed against the wall with the water dripping down your bodies and catching each other’s breaths.
Once you both did, he slowly pulled out of you. your feet landed on the tiled floor. He was quick to catch you as you almost fell because of your wobbly legs. He laughed at you as he picked you up again. You wrapped your legs to his waist and your arms around his shoulders hugging him.
“I did you good huh, prinsesa?” he asked boastfully, proud of his doing.
“oh, shut up!” you laughed a little as you pinched his shoulders lightly.
He walked around the bathroom and sat you in the toilet bowl. He then grabbed the towel nearby, kneeled in front of you and starts wiping your wet body with it. Your heart swell at his actions. He can fuck the hell out of you and be this soft boy right after. 
“What?” he asked as he noticed you staring at him smiling like an idiot. He continued to wipe every part of you until you’re dry enough.
“Nothing… It’s just that…” you don’t know how to phrase it. So you just went on and said. “I love you too much, asshole!” he was currently drying your hair when you said this, making him stop his actions. He looked at you straight in the eyes before placing a quick kiss on your lips. you felt his love for you. you really did. and on top of this, he said...
“Noooo, I love YOU too much my little worm.” Emphasizing the word you.
“I’m a worm” You both laughed so hard at the new nickname he gave you.
“Well, this day isn’t boring as I thought it would be” you added as you pulled him into another kiss.
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soft-hard-peaches · 4 years ago
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Reaction: Ateez Going to a Fashion Show with You
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ͥ ͪ ͦ ᷮ ͤ ꙷ ͦ ͧ ᷝ ͥ ᷜ ͤ ͥ ͭ
~fluff~
Kim Hongjoong
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You're both excited for tonight. Even the opportunity to simply attend fashion week separately is amazing let alone being able to go together. You spent the morning getting ready together, doing your final touches together. You show him the clothes you're pondering on and put them on for him. Taking off your top and replacing it for another, swapping your plaid skirt for plain leather pants, asking him if you should wear stockings or not. You trust him wholeheartedly with these kinds of things and he never wants to disappoint or put you down but he knows you want his honest help so he gives it to you. But he doesn’t need to try hard helping you anyway.
 In reality, Hongjoong absolutely adores your personal style, how you are able to mix street fashion and chic one day, preppy and cute the next day, and then go back to dressing completely casual. He’s simply having fun with his own personal fashion show. He thinks you're gorgeous in whatever you wear and when you decide to wear nothing at all.  
“Joong, should I wear this chain belt with the pants or will that look like I’m trying too hard?”
Hongjoong walks to your selection and picks out a thin silver chain belt. “This one. It’s not too much but a nice addition.”
You smile at him as he walks up to you and slowly hooks the belt into your pants, pulling you closer, leaving nothing but tension between you both. Once he’s done, he lets you fasten the once cold chain ends. When you look up, he’s smirking playfully at you. 
“What was that?”, you asked, amused by his random seducing. Hongjoong walks to his closet and begins looking for his already set outfit.
“Nothing. But you can help me if you want.” 
Seonghwa
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You sat on the couch of the boy’s dorm waiting for your boyfriend to finish getting ready for tonight’s upcoming event. This is practically routine for you to wait for Seonghwa while he got ready. Not like you mind all that much. You understood how much he cared about his appearance and his interest in fashion. So you waited patiently in the kitchen, scrolling through your phone and occasionally talking to the other members.
“Are you excited for tonight?”, Yunho asked you. You glanced up at him to respond but then went back to your phone, scrolling through twitter to see who was all attending, “I heard that Jennie and Lisa were supposed to show up and I can’t wait to see their glamorous outfits. I feel like they are gonna be the best dressed of the whole event.” As you finish that remark, you see your boyfriend descending from the stairway. 
Your phone slipped from your grasp slightly when you saw Seonghwa make his way towards you.
“Y/n? Do you think this outfit is alright?”, he asked as he fiddles with the cuff of his overcoat. 
“Woah hyung, you should be the one walking the runway!,” Yunho interjected but he practically took the words from your mouth. Placing your phone down, you walked over to your rather dapper boyfriend. Removing his clumsy hand from his cuff to properly fix it. “You look runway ready, Hwa.”
Jeong Yunho
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Walking into the event was a bit overwhelming for you. All of the photographers and fansites with their flashing lights that were almost blinding, the loud commands of where and how to pose, the group’s managers leading you all to get inside. All the boys looked well-dressed and well groom and you followed suit in your best black-tie attire. 
You sat between your boyfriend Yunho and a well known up-in-coming designer, popular for their nature/fantasy inspired designs, and behind you were other celebrities in the industry that were way more relevant than you because you were only known for being girlfriends with a famous idol. For that reason you felt like you had no merits being there. You felt like a fish out of water. Even after the show you stood there behind the group’s manager watching the boys pose for a photo op, the feeling sat inside you that no one would care if you were even there and that feeling engulfed you until you sat in the car on your way home.
Once in the car, Yunho grabbed your hand and softly placed it on his cheek. He let out a long yawn as he began to rub the back of your palm on his cheek, “Yaaahh, Y/n I’m so glad you came… these things can be so tiring. When you're around I feel at peace.” You watched your sleepy boyfriend silently. Trying your very best not to break down from happiness from the unintentional consolation.
Kang Yeosang
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You rested on his bed, half dressed, thinking about the day’s big event. Initially you were ecstatic that your boyfriend was going to such a big event like a fashion show but now that you are going, it has you a bit wary. Nonetheless, you are excited to share this experience with your beloved Yeosang. Yeosang on the other hand was more noticeably nervous. Pacing around his room, changing his outfit for the third time, mixing up the arrangement of his accessories, and muttering to himself. You sat up, deciding it was also time to atleast put a shirt on so you can help your tottering boyfriend,
“Yah, Jagi, what color should I wear?”, he asked, scouring through his closet.
“You look great in red and black”, you state simply, heading to his nightstand to borrow a pair of dangly earrings.
“Button up or turtleneck?” You look back to see him holding the options in his hands.
“Definitely turtleneck.”, you affirm while also picking out something from his closet. Yeosang looked at you in confusion, “Didn’t you bring an outfit with you?” You chuckled as you draped one his jackets over on your body, “Yeah I did, but your clothes are better.”, you respond coyly, giving him a cheeky smile. You practically traded half your outfits for his at this point but since he takes a bit of pride of you wearing his clothes, he doesn’t complain.
Almost finished with his ensemble, he checks for your opinion once more asking, “Contacts or no contacts?”
Also finished dressing, you walked over to him and caressed his face, pulling him down to plant a kiss on the lips, “No contacts, your visuals are striking enough.”
Choi San
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The energy of the show is exhilarating! The talent of these designers give you a surge of fascination. The assorted patterns and colors, all the different materials and textures, and the skill to make fabrics look good on a person’s body brings you to a complete awe. Holding your hand on your lap was your boyfriend San. He knew how much you loved fashion so he was more than eager to invite his sweetie love to go with him. 
Every now and again you’d turn to each other to comment on the models and what they are modeling. “Look San!”, you’d have to speak over the music, “Amazing!” Small phrases were easier to communicate. San agreed that the models and designs were nice but the way you looked at all the models with such amaze and adoration was how he looks at you everyday and seeing your eyes light up with wonder was the whole show for him.
Song Mingi
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You were a bit apprehensive but excited to be seen in such an important event with your boyfriend Mingi because this is your first time being seen together as a couple.
It was a pretty big deal for you both to come out as a couple; you both being idols from different companies. Together, you had to meet with your respective companies on this decision and on when and how to release the news. You both were worried about the very possible backlash from fans and antis. But this was very important to you both so with the support of your companies, you two became successful separately and together and today is the day that you’ll be seen hand-in-hand for the very first time.
“Mingi! Y/n!”, you hear your names shouted from all angles. You felt a bit awkward. Although you’ve had your picture taken many times before, this is the first time at an official event with your boyfriend.
“Mingi!”, a fansite shouts. You expected him to move away from you to give them a better shot of him but he places his hand around your waist, scooting you closer to him. You try to hide any changes in expression as much as possible but the moment he grabs your hand, signifying his love for you, cracks your generic idol grin to a genuine goofy smile that your fans and him know well, which slightly embarrasses you and causing everyone including Mingi to… lack of better words… bust a UwU.
Jung wooyoung
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“Doll...”, Wooyoung knocks on the bathroom door, “... the car will be here soon.” 
Though he said it in a playful manner, you know he was trying to put a bit of fire under your butt, but as long as the car hasn’t pulled up you saw no reason to leave the bathroom especially for this upcoming event. Outside the walls you hear the muffle chatter of the guys that for time to time you can make out and chuckle to yourself but your main focus is to vamp up your look. This a BIG event with big names and gorgeous people and you wanted to look the part. You tried on three different shades of lipstick to compliment your eyeshadow, reapplied your eyelashes to make them perfect, and gave yourself an efficient enough pep talk just in case you lose your cool at any point. Though you were only in attendance, you were ready to be the best at the show.
*knock**knock* “Baby?”
“Yeah. I’m ready Woo, you can come in.”, you said in a sweet sing-song tone while you sprints your finishing spray on your face. Making sure your makeup stays strong for what today will unfold.
Wooyoung walks in just in time to catch some of your mist in his mouth. Trying to speak between coughs, “Ya done *couch* yet?” You look up at him through the mirror, not yet turning back to him. You stop there staring at your coughing boyfriend in total awe. Yes, Wooyoung is always fashionable but today he is something different. From his perfectly styled wavy black hair down to his slick designer toes. And he notices your stare.
With his last attempt in clearing his throat, he questions your stare. You admire your confused boyfriend further. The quizzical expression fixed on his face breaks your trance with a laugh, “Woo! You take best dressed of all I see.” Your blunt compliment takes him off guard but that makes him even cuter. 
“Ya… you’re making me blush… Let’s go! The car is here!” 
Choi Jongho
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About an hour into the car ride home was gradually becoming quieter with the tired members slowly falling asleep and the manager turning down the volume of the radio to accommodate for the members. Jongho sat in the back between a sleeping Yeosang and you. This event took a lot out of all of you. For him and the rest, they are more or less used to strenuous scheduling but he was afraid that you were over exerting yourself on his behalf. When the company accepted his request to invite you, he was overjoyed to have you experience something as prestigious as fashion week with him. You’re his darling Y/n afterall. He wants to experience as much with you as possible but he worried that his idol life may tire you out one day.
The rumble of the moving car and low volume radio played in the background. Once Jongho stopped thinking so much he mistook Yeosang’s gentle snore for your’s and leaned over to check if you were asleep. Once he leaned far enough to see your face, you opened your eyes, spooking him. “Woah you’re awake Y/n?”, he tried to play off his surprise, “Did I wake you?”, he whispered. You shook your head no making him relax back into his seat. You were both silent for a few minutes when he noticed your hand resting close to his. As he noticed, you brushed your fingertips on the back of his hand affectionately, catching his attention further. 
You rested your head on his shoulder to whisper to him, so only he can hear your message, “You know Jongho? I’m really glad you invited me. You didn’t have to invite me to this but i am really grateful that we can do things together. Albeit, I would be just as happy if we stay in and watch a bad movie.” You end a very sentimental statement with a slight joke to keep from getting emotional but Jongho takes that much needed validation and places your hand in his for the rest of the ride home.
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syms-things-5 · 4 years ago
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Clear The Area - Chapter Seventeen
Previous Chapter Here
Warnings: Strong language and an air of discomfort.
Notes: I hope this reads OK as it’s quite dialogue-heavy.
Tags: @kelbabyblue @jennmurawski13
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 
The night shifts weren’t all bad. From time to time, they were even as good as “pretty straight forward”. They proved especially useful when trying to finish patient notes and random admin that always got left to the very end of the shift. Perhaps they’d endure a tidy-out of the stock cupboards if the crew was feeling generous. Since O’Brien had taken up his post at the hospital years earlier, he had insisted upon mandatory training updates for the ER units every three to four months (the national average was about once a year) so the team were regularly reminded not to set fire to their computers and not to leave boxes in places people could trip over. You’d be surprised how often both those things happened in an emerging crisis. 
“I swear he thinks we’re idiots half the time.” Complained Jack, his head now glued to the palm of his hand. Jack was hurtling towards an early retirement thanks to an ever-increasing distrust of the corporate environment ER departments found themselves in. We trained to save lives, he’d say, not file stat reports. He was so right, it hurt. 
The crew was sat round the reception desk. The ER was empty except for a local homeless man the team allowed in from time to time to sleep off his latest drunken adventures. 
“Who doesn’t know how to bend their knees when lifting something heavy?” Jack asked again. 
“Ryan for one.” Sarah joked, pointing her cold cup of tea towards the fellow nurse in question. Ryan was a tall and skinny guy, not dissimilar to Alexander Skarsgard in the right light but with less charm although he had left a few of the interns swooning of late. Shanna quite liked him, too. 
“One time, Sarah. One time and I suffered for it greatly.” Ryan remarked, spinning a full 360 in his swivel chair. “Did you tick ‘agree’ or ‘strongly agree’ for question eleven?” 
“Oh, if you don’t tick ‘strongly agree’ even if you only ‘agree’, they mark you down a couple of percentage points.” Entered Audrey, slamming down a pile of files on the desk beside Sarah. Their nightly routine just got more interesting. “Just get it over with. It’s not worth the effort. It’s just O’Brien being obsessed with stats again. He turns everything into a competition. I swear it’s unhealthy.”
Ryan looked momentarily confused before returning to face his computer screen. He re-read the question for the fifth time and rubbed his eyes in resignation. Something about 3am made this far too complicated. 
“When did you even find time to do this, Aud?” Jack asked, turning back to Sarah and Audrey in time to witness their shared look self-satisfaction. “I’ve been sat here for half an hour and am still only part way through the first section.” 
“I logged in at home earlier.” she responded before catching Sarah’s quizzical look. “Well, Michael did most of it for me.” 
“Fucking hell!” exclaimed Jack, chucking his pen on the table, giving up. “Got no chance then, have I? Michael’s a bloody genius. Hey, how much for him to do mine?” 
“Normally I’d say $100 but he’s pretty cheap these days.” shrugged Audrey. “Probably a fancy cigar would do.” 
“He still grumpy about the you-know-what?” whispered Sarah to her friend when the guys started joshing between themselves. 
Audrey leaned back on the desk beside her and took the mug from Sarah’s hands to take a sip, grimacing slightly at the sweetness. For some reason, Sarah had to have at least three sugars in her tea if she was drinking it post-midnight. It helped to keep her more alert apparently. She didn’t drink it like that at any other time of the day. “No more than usual. Seems like we’re both unlucky in that department at the moment.” 
Sarah smiled at her in acknowledgement, lips thin before biting the inside of her cheek. 
Following their last meet-up, Chris had been decidedly quiet. Too quiet almost. It was weird. He hadn’t messaged her. He hadn’t called or visited their apartment except to collect a parcel he had left. Sarah has been out for a run at the time and had felt silently glad to have missed him. He hadn’t updated his twitter and there had been multiple sports events occurring that would have guaranteed a humblebrag or five. Shanna had pledged to buy rib-eye steaks for a Saturday night meal during a Celtics game and he had cancelled at the last minute citing an interview he had conveniently forgotten. Even Audrey thought it was weird. If anything was guaranteed to get his attention and bring him out of whatever funk he was in, it was the promise of sports and a ‘Grade A’ barbeque. 
Shanna merely put it down to his laziness or him having something better turn up. Scott had started replacing Chris around their apartment, wanting to get some of his own distance from the tricky Zach situation and it helped her feel better knowing he was at least in touch with him if Shanna wasn’t. He was evidently still alive. 
Sarah decided to swap a couple of daytime stints to partner up with Audrey for the nights. She needed the comfort of working with a good friend to calm her down from whatever ledge her anxiety had placed her on. 
“You know that he’ll come back, right?” Audrey interrupted her thoughts. Maybe Sarah spoke too soon. “Haven’t you got that birthday thing for Lisa coming up?” 
That trip was a couple of weeks away yet. She was trying to bank some reasonable excuses but everything sounded lame in the cold light of day and Lisa was never going to accept her not coming as well. Surely things would have smoothed themselves out by then? 
“This won’t just fix itself, hun, you’ll need to speak to him eventually. And the sooner the better.” 
It was like Audrey had a hotline straight into Sarah’s psyche. It was unnerving at the best of times. Sarah knew she was right of course. It’s just, a little bit of distance would be a good thing, right? Even Chris himself had offered that advice from time to time, and stressing herself out at this point almost seemed counterintuitive. 
“I reckon you could go in an hour or so if you wanted.” Audrey offered, nudging her friend with her elbow to bring her back into the room. “It’s dead out there.”
“I hope not.” Sarah joked, trying to lighten the mood. “We’d be shit at our jobs if that was the case.” 
Audrey laughed for the first time since Sarah could remember that day. It was moments like this that reminded her of why she enjoyed working alongside her so much, and why she didn’t mind if it resulted in overtime. 
“You wanna take patient referrals while I take the EPRs?” 
“How can I refuse an offer like that?” Sarah picked up the dozen or so documents sat in front of her and grabbed the nearest chair. Audrey told her she’d put the kettle on and nudged the guys still glued to their screens. Ryan had pretty much given up logical thinking and was now ticking random boxes. Jack was cursing under his breath. O’Brien was going to be in for a real treat when he could finally tabulate the responses. 
It was nearing 6.20am when Sarah and Audrey finally packed up to go. Matt and Stephanie had just arrived to take over for the morning, bringing a fresh perspective for the day. There wasn’t much for them to catch up on so it should be a smooth few hours at least. Sarah even ran a mop through the staff locker room as an added gift – Steph was a notorious clean freak – nearly tripping Greg up in the process. 
He’d been on leave for the past fortnight and his hair was a little longer than she remembered. A five o’clock shadow graced the lower part of his face and it suited him more than she thought it would. He had kept up with the informal tie-less attire and he seemed to be, dare she it, enjoying himself. 
“God, I’m so sorry.” She held her hands up in a mock mea culpa. “I was just gonna put it away before heading out. It was a stupid place to leave it.” 
“Did you not take the Health and Safety refresher?” he joked, rebalancing himself and trying to play down the redness creeping into his cheeks from the embarrassment of temporarily losing his footing in front of her. 
“You gonna rat me out to O’Brien? ‘Cos you know as well as I do that he doesn’t need yet another reason to know he’s right.” She shifted the mop and bucket and placed them back in the supply closet before reaching for her bag again. 
“Nah, don’t worry about it.” He moved passed her before turning to face her again. “Tell you the truth, I ghosted the last couple of tabs myself. Who knew there were so many ways to ask questions about standing in elevators?” 
Sarah rolled her eyes in acknowledgement. “Yeh. I can’t wait to have the team meeting when he realises we’ve all pretty much done the same thing. That’s gonna be fun. I might finally take some of my holiday.” 
“Yeh, good plan. Hey listen,” His words stopped her in her tracks, feet from the exit. “Um, I know it’s been a while but I was wondering if you might want to reschedule that tennis match some time? Or if not, we could get some dinner or something? There’s that new sushi place on Reagan Street. It’s meant to be really good if you fancy it?” 
She was indeed familiar with that very restaurant thanks to the glowing reviews she had been unable to avoid since it opened. Audrey had only mentioned it a mere thousand times in her presence. Word was that bookings were now months in advance so she wasn’t sure how Greg was hoping to find a table unless he wanted to make plans with her in November. Given the number of commitments he always appeared to have going on, it wouldn’t be completely outside the realm of possibility. 
“Wow, I thought that place was fully booked?” 
“Yeh, it is, but I went to college with one of the investors and he’s promised me a one-off.” 
Of course he did. Sarah bit her bottom lip to stop herself from chuckling out loud, imagining Audrey’s face when she would inevitably find out. To be honest, she was genuinely surprised he was still showing a minor interest in her. When she finally made eye contact with him, his earnestness was practically shining. Had he always had perfect skin?  
“Um…” That was a good start, she thought. 
“Honestly, it’s not a big deal if you’d rather not.” He helpfully pre-empted her awkward rejection but she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “I’ve been meaning to go is all and I knew you liked sushi and figured it might be fun? They have live Jazz on Sunday nights.” 
When did he find out she liked sushi? And live Jazz? Just how much had Audrey told him about her? 
Realising she probably looked perplexed, she shuffled her shoulder strap back up onto her shoulder and tried to relax the awkwardness setting in between them. It was still quiet and no one was within earshot that she could figure out of her peripheral vision. 
“It’s not you, Greg, I promise. It’s just, I’m not really looking to get into anything right now. With anyone. Plus, we work together and…I’m sorry. I hope that’s OK?” 
“Hey, look, I promise it won’t be awkward. There’s absolutely no expectations from me and if you change your mind, just let me know, yeh? I literally know no one else who likes Sashimi so I can’t waste my only chance to get a table.” He chuckled and she felt more at ease. 
“If it’s any consolation, I’m a pretty crap date.” She smiled at him as she edged herself down the hall, putting space between them both literally and figuratively. “You wouldn’t be missing out.” 
“Oh, I doubt that somehow.” He returned her smile. “I’m serious, though. Just let me know. Anytime. No expiration date.” 
And with that, she had been left dumbfounded by two men in the space of a single week. 
It would have been easier to get the early morning bus home at this time, as tired as she was starting to feel. She hadn’t slept well in the last few days and she had a creeping nausea from the lack of proper rest. The walk and crisp, fresh air might do her some good. It was practically full daylight even at this hour, and it was sometimes fun to watch people on their own way to work, huffing along, trying not to drop their coffees. 
The out-of-town school bus passed her a few minutes out from her apartment and as she rounded the corner, she got this weird sense that someone was watching her. Another corner turned and she could see her building in the near distance. Still, she couldn’t shake it. She stopped, pretending to fumble for her phone in her pocket and turned around swiftly to see a sweaty Chris stop a few steps behind her. 
It took her a moment to register it was in fact him, his beard fuller and a Red Sox cap pulled down low over his eyes. He had sweats and sneakers on and looked like he was on a run. Honestly, if someone else had spotted him from this distance, they would have worried he was going to attack her. 
“Hey,” she said, turning to fully face him. “What are you doing out at this time?” 
He didn’t respond at first. He shuffled from one foot to the other before grounding himself and taking a couple of steps towards her. Again, he shuffled back a step like he was rethinking his move. She didn’t appreciate seeing him like this, so unsure of himself. 
“Five months out from filming some pre-shoots so figured I’d make a start.” He finally spoke. Not a really a smile but he at least sounded OK. 
“Cool.” She said, nodding back at him. “Um, I’m not sure if Shanna is awake yet but do you want to come inside for some water or coffee?” 
“Yeh, that’d be great. Thanks.” 
She turned to continue walking on. For a few long moments, he stayed walking slightly behind her. A couple more strides and he had decided to catch up. The last time it had taken this long to walk this same street, she had been so drunk she had narrowly avoided falling into her neighbour’s front garden. 
“Five months? You’re not that out of shape.” She tried to make a joke. It was the only thing she could think of. Audrey would be eye-rolling like a champ if she could see them now. 
Chris knew she was trying to make small talk now so he decided to indulge her. It was a fair response, he thought - he was doing OK - as he followed her up the stairs deliberately keeping two or three behind her in an effort to keep it casual. 
“Oh, y’know. I fluctuate pretty easily. A few pizzas here and there and it’s game over.” 
They walked into her kitchen and she had been right in assuming Shanna was still asleep. Unless she had awoken really early but that was highly unlikely, unless there was a sale at Ted Baker she didn’t know about. 
He lingered in the doorway while she searched the fridge for a bottle of water. Grabbing one from the back, she turned to hand it to him expecting him to be within an arm’s reach from her but he had been distracted by something down the hall before turning back to her. Gratefully, he accepted it and walked into the kitchen to take up his usual spot leaning against the counter. 
“Sorry, did you say you wanted a coffee?” She offered. 
“Nah, I’m good. Can’t really take caffeine until this afternoon.” 
“Sorry. I always forget how strict it is.” She apologised, offering him a sympathetic smile. 
He took a long swig from the bottle, not breaking eye contact from her. “No need to apologise. You OK? Night shift?” 
“Yeh. Pretty quiet, thankfully.” 
“I’ve always meant to ask but what is it like, a night shift? I can’t work out if it would be worse or not.” 
She understood what he meant and laughed. “It can go either way to be honest but it’s been quiet the last few nights. Nothing crazy. I caught up with some paperwork, so…” She shrugged again, acutely aware of how boring she must sound. 
He nodded at her. “Aren’t people supposed to be crazier in the summertime?” 
“Well, kids are around more and families tend to spend more time together, so…” 
The apartment was unnervingly quiet now which was weird. She could hear the uptake in traffic outside which provided some relief that perhaps he couldn’t hear her heart beating out of her chest. She could make out some small sweat patches on his hoodie and it did something to her that she wasn’t expecting. Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to switch the kettle off. 
“What?” He asked. 
She jerked her head back around to face him. “Huh?” 
“You were thinking of something. Your neck just went red.” He smiled, tilting his head at her and relishing the look of surprise making its way over her features, knowing he’d caught her out. 
That was news to her. She knew she had “tells” but a red neck was not usually one of them. How come no one had ever told her about this? 
“I can’t tell if you’re joking with me or not.” She inquired, playfully narrowing her eyes at him in an effort to lighten the mood. 
He shrugged a shoulder at her, a smirk starting to cross his fine features. Joshing with her was good. She’d take that. A small step in the right direction. 
“Sometimes, it’s really obvious. You get it when you’re embarrassed about something, or when you try to lie. I’d never really noticed it before, but...” He paused. His expression started to turn more thoughtful and she wished he’d just continue to make fun of her instead. 
“Guess I won’t be playing poker anytime soon.” She finished the thought for him. 
“Yeh, no, you’d be rubbish at that. Just terrible.” He took another swig from his bottle and waited for her to throw something at him. 
“Thanks.” 
“You’re welcome.” 
The room went quiet again. She stirred her mug of coffee and offered him another chance at one which he politely refused although his discipline was waning slightly now he could smell it. 
“So this is fine.” He said after a couple of minutes, nodding in a slightly exaggerated manner. He looked out of the kitchen window. “We can do this, right? No awkwardness. No embarrassment. Just normal, everyday conversation.” 
“’Course,” she nodded in agreement. 
“Start as we mean to go on, right?” 
She nodded again. This felt like a trap and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Chris had a knack for saying and doing two different things at the same time, an intimidating ability that often put people on edge if he thought it would serve his purpose, whatever that may be. Probably the actor in him. When you called him out, he would aggressively defend himself which only served to prove the point you were making in the first place. 
Scott was the only one, truly, who knew when it was happening. It had taken Sarah years to get to a similar position but now, she wasn’t sure she was remotely close to it. 
“It’s as good a starting point as any, I guess.” She shrugged again, sipping from her cup. 
“So there’s no need to ignore me then.”  
“I haven’t been ignoring you, have I?” 
“You tell me. I’m just pre-empting it is all. I’m just saying we can still interact, you and me, if we need to. Like, it doesn’t always have to be in social settings with other people around.” He took a final drink from his bottle and turned to locate the recycling pot stashed away in the corner. Even with a mundane task, he always looked cool doing it. 
“So don’t worry about it.” 
“Alright then. That’s good to know.” She shot him a raised eyebrow which he caught and returned with a sly smirk. “I’m just trying to be sensible. We have to get this right or else there’s no point.” 
“I know, I get that, too.” If he wasn’t attempting to be serious before, he was now. He had a hand on his hip and seemed to have grown a few inches in height. “What do you think I’m trying to say?” 
“I…think I’m on the backfoot again and it’s weird.” She held a hand up in defence. 
“Hey, I’m just doing what we agreed, OK? I’m just following your rules.” 
“They’re not rules.” She struggled to regulate the volume in her voice in case she disturbed Shanna. “And you’re making it sound like I’m controlling the situation when I’m not. We both agreed on this. There’s no point being difficult about it.” 
Was he being difficult? Yes. Obviously, he was. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling but happy definitely wasn’t it. Things were out of sorts and he hadn’t been able to eat carbs or sugar for four days so the withdrawal symptoms certainly weren’t helping. He should go easier on her. She was doing the thinking for the both of them. He should learn to be more grateful for that. 
He scratched the back of his head and let out an audible sigh in frustration. “I’ll try harder, I promise. We’ve got that cabin thing coming up with Mom, so…I promise I’ll be good.” 
He imitated the scout salute and she smiled at him, a smile not quite reaching her eyes. 
Another night shift and Audrey and was starting to get suspicious. No one willingly switched for a night shift. For one thing, there was a disproportionate amount of recovery time. A couple of night shifts often took in excess of a week to recover from; a week that a nurse definitely did not have to spare. 
“He been buggin’ you?” she asked, finally growing tired of the silence. 
“Who?” Sarah looked up from the cabinet. “No, not really. We haven’t really spoken.” 
“So why are you ignoring him?” 
“I’m not ignoring him! Why does everyone think that?” 
“Who’s everyone?” 
Crap. Audrey had her there. Sarah open and closed her mouth without a sound coming out. She took a breath. “He’s not bugging me. He’s not. I’m just trying to limit the times we’re in the same place at the same time.” 
“Huh, you’d think he would at least allow you to have peace in your own home.”  
“Well, to be fair, he hasn’t been around all that much, but…at least I don’t have to worry about him showing up unannounced. It’s stupid but I feel way more awkward about him than I thought I would. It’s like I can’t even stand to be under his gaze.” 
Audrey glanced at her friend, wishing she could offer some words of comfort. Even for someone as verbose as she normally was, she was finding it a struggle. Sarah wasn’t much looking for words of comfort at the given time either. She was all too aware of the predicament she was in and how much responsibility laid at her feet. In her mind, waiting it out was the only logical solution she could come up with. The only logical solution that didn’t require more conversations with someone who could feasibly run rings around her “theory” that if they just stayed apart for a little while, they would suddenly and magically forget about the past couple of months. 
They stayed filing documents in silence again, the air seemingly getting thicker. 
“You ever spoken with someone and it’s like they’re thinking the complete opposite of what’s coming out of their mouth?” Sarah huffed while shoving the cabinet drawer closed. 
“Not really. That person’s usually me.” 
“But why?” she asked. “Why can’t you just be normal?”  
“I mean, it’s not my go-to response of course. It’s normally reserved for occasions when I am trying to indulge someone because I know they’re talking bullshit. Like, when I know Mike has been gambling but he tries to deny it? It’s just easier to figure him out that way.” 
Sarah froze to the spot, looking at her friend. She breathed a heavy sigh and turned to lean back on the table behind her and crossed her arms. She stared at her shoes for a second. 
“Chris is a smart guy. I’ll give him that.” Audrey muttered loudly so she was sure Sarah could hear. 
“Give me something! I’m your friend here.” She implored her before chuckling to herself at Audrey’s face and her own apparent lack of self-awareness. 
“You know what I think? You’ve probably got withdrawal symptoms from the all the amazing sex you’ve had and now you’re sulking. I think you should get back on that horse and let him fuck you again. That’s what this is.” 
Sarah eyed her friend again. For once, she would love to hear someone tell her that she was right. “That’s really not helping, y’know.” 
“And this is?!” Audrey’s shriller tone cut through the dry air, smacking Sarah right in the face. “Honey, this isn’t healthy. You hiding out in the hospital and treating it like your own solace is not healthy at all. I love you but you are your own worst enemy.” 
“Alright, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for your unswerving efforts to be honest with me at all times and not, like a normal pal, be comforting in any way.” Sarah comically bowed to her friend before considering leaving the office. She would have followed through with the idea as well if it wasn’t for the cosy warmth of O’Brien’s office versus the coldness of the ER department thanks to a leaking pipe. “It’s difficult. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna fall out with you, Audrey.” 
Audrey just smiled at her. “I don’t know why you think you have to be the beacon of morality all the time, Sarah. Take a look around. No one else is. We all out here just trying to live our lives as best we can and a part of that is taking advantage of moments of happiness when we find them.” 
Something about what Audrey was saying did resonate with her but comparing two months of happiness with Chris to ten years with Shanna was not something she could in good conscience do. Shanna was her security blanket. She provided a comfort of living with someone with shared life experience, of knowing how little you thought about yourself because you were given up as a baby. Honestly, from the very first day they had met, Sarah felt lucky to know her. 
Yes, Shanna could be immature at times. Maybe a little selfish. She would often get carried away with trivial things and wasn’t the most reliable person, but what Sarah got in return was worth that and more. Her family enjoyed highlighting the maternal care Sarah would have to provide to someone who was seven months older than she was, but honestly it didn’t matter. 
Maybe this was one of the rare occasions where Audrey was wrong. 
Chris was a fling at best, Sarah told herself, when she was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep. When she was cold and missing his arms around her. They were both having shitty times and they both got something out of it. That was what Chris had said himself at the very beginning. 
Chris 08.15am: You home? Shanna said you were working late again 
It was like he knew she would be thinking about him. 
Chris 08.17am: I really dont want u ignoring me all the time. This is hard for me right now as well 
Fuck. 
Sarah 08.21am: I kno. I’m so sorry I made you feel like that :(
He didn’t respond. She thought she saw the tell-tale three dots of him writing something but nothing appeared. Giving up on sleep, she got up and headed into the kitchen. Shanna had left her some bacon in the fridge and a fresh bread bun on the side so she turned on the grill and set about making some coffee. 
She felt strangely awake for this time and the apartment was nice and warm from the bright sunshine streaming in from all corners. Maybe a run would help. Or a cold shower.  
Chris 08.44am: I wanna be honest with u but I dont think u want that 
Chris 08.45am: so what do i do?? 
Fuck knows. 
Chris 08.51am: Can I come over? 
Sarah 08.54am: that’s not a good idea 
Chris 08.55am: cos you know what will happen? 
Chris 08.56am: what does that tell you?? 
She was sure he was nursing some kind of hangover or, quite possibly, he was still a little bit drunk. There were two responses she could give, she figured. The first would be her usual denial and perhaps an excuse that she was busy or working later than planned. The second, and ultimately the one she opted for, was to agree with him. 
Sarah 09.05am: I know what it tells me. That’s why I’m saying you shouldn’t come over 
Another three dots followed. There was only so many times they could go around and around in circles and as much as Audrey’s words made sense to her, it felt like she had to make the effort to regain some normality. 
He didn’t respond. She stared at her phone for an age but nothing came through. Maybe he got the message? Maybe he had fallen asleep. She was both relieved and suspicious; Chris wasn’t someone who backed down from an argument when he thought he was right. He had said as much himself. 
She turned the grill off, having lost her appetite. A run might make more sense and could help clear her head. 
She couldn’t sit around waiting for Chris to make his next move. 
*
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uwunnie · 4 years ago
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Hello, everyone.
To recap: There are new fans, and old fans as well as recently turned fans, who truly believe you have to choose Monsta X or Wonho otherwise you’re not a “real” fan. It has reached a point where toxic idiocy is spewed all over Twitter — not really that surprising, but still very annoying — and it has now reached Tumblr; the one place I felt was pretty neutral.
Initially, I wasn’t going to say anything because I felt like it’d only add to the drama. However, as time passes, I see the fandom heading into a direction that is very...well, doomed. Of course, this is merely my opinion and I don’t really expect anyone to hold it to a high regard because I am not God, nor do I believe I am a God-like figure. However, I do think I can still state my opinion upon the matter and try to shed some knowledge that may be utilized positively.
Before I begin, I’m going to try and insert a ‘Read More,’ but should I not be able to make it to a laptop in time before my patience completely disappears, I will tw it as a “long post.” If you dislike long posts and don’t have them filtered, though, and this pops up on your dash and annoys you — I apologize, kinda.
Anyways, let’s go.
I don’t really know what happened. Or well, I do, unfortunately.
In the beginning, Monbebes stuck together. We all came together and showed our support as a united body of like-minded individuals who shared their love and support for Monsta X — whether they were seven or individual.
Things went well. Petitions were signed. Billboards were funded. Zoo’s were created.
But at some point, Monbebes began idolizing other Monbebes — and I don’t mean looking up to sensible fans, but ones who are problematic.
Allow to me to repeat this to avoid misunderstandings: It’s okay to look up to fans who are NOT problematic. It really is — be friends with them, aspire to be more like them, I don’t care; do you so long as it’s positive.
But....but....to choose problematic fans to look up to? To choose ones who are known to fetishize a culture? To choose ones who are known, and praised, to fetishize sexualities? To choose ones who provide false hope in exchange for clout while simultaneously invading REAL people’s lives?
Yeah, that’s where everything went wrong.
The wrong people built platforms and their voices were, inevitably, elevated. Everyone began dividing and forming cliques in the name of “unity.” Everyone began losing sight of the big picture — the big picture being a positive resolution.
People stated they wanted a positive outcome, but only if it was on their terms.
Greed. Greed. Greed.
Selfishness replaced selflessness.
Various Monbebes began inserting themselves into the narrative as if it was their own personal emotions that mattered more than Monsta X’s — and that’s not to devalue anyone’s feelings, but I mean...it’s the boys who were directly affected by what happened.
Wonho was the one who had to receive backlash for past events that don’t equate his worth.
Shownu’s voice was silenced despite being a victim to sexually implicit lies and harassment.
Minhyuk sacrificed his own emotions and began keeping hardships to himself.
Kihyun was forced into voicing over his friend’s song lyrics, and is also continually made fun of despite him speaking out and asking fans to not refer to him as “small” and “tiny.”
Hyungwon received, and continues to bear, backlash because certain fans think he’s a liar and also like to criticize him for being “lazy” as if the dude doesn’t work his ass off every day.
Jooheon’s mental health issues were pushed under the rug by many people within the fandom and as soon as he returned, various fans demanded he work more — try harder, be louder and more energetic.
Changkyun’s emotions were disregarded — many fans stating he has an “attitude problem” and seems cold despite the dude literally trying to make everyone around him happy and also sticking up for Monbebes.
Monsta X, regardless of the number, were all continuously pushed past their limits; treated as machines and play-things rather than human beings.
And this is only what has been shown to us. Think about everything that’s transpired that we haven’t seen.
I understand that those months were hard, I really do. I was right there with everyone not getting any sleep and trying to balance school, work, projects, etc. I understand it was very emotionally upsetting and I am not devaluing anyone’s feelings because I know it was hard.
But a line has to be drawn.
There has to be a realization that it is Monsta X who has endured the worst of the entire situation. It is not fair to say that the fans had it worse when MX’s actual jobs, lives, health, and futures were all tampered with, endangered, and victimized.
And to top it off — as positive of a resolution that could be made in the situation has been met and people continue to complain.
I understand it may not be ideal — everyone wanted them to come together as seven again and I know how disheartening it is that that isn’t an option right now, but...they’re still here.
Wonho get’s to continue with his career. He can still interact and talk to us. He can do what he wants — I mean, the dude literally has a whole Instagram account to himself when it took a year or two, maybe more, just for SSE to give MX personal cell phones.
The six active members get to continue as well. They released an album that is more than likely going to be nominated for a golden disc award and they’re all, seemingly, recovering. They’ve been able to vacation and from the looks of it, the company is going a little easier on them with their schedules — in a way.
In other words: All seven of them are content.
And for the fandom, we still get to see them. We get to listen to their voices and see their faces. We get to interact with them and watch new shows, etc.
They’re still here — and honestly? It’s a miracle.
Do you know how hard it is for a people to continue considering what transpired? How unusual it is for an artist to be able to overcome legal battles that usually deem unfavorable in the position he was in?
I’ve been in the Kpop fandom for nearly 12 or 13 years now and this is the first time I’ve ever seen legal cases turn out okay for an idol.
History was made and a positive resolution was met, but yet — hardly anyone wants to celebrate.
Instead, a big chunk of the fandom now wants to dive into more drama — separate Monbebes and Wenees from each other and build more cliques.
Say stupid shit like “you’re not a real fan if you only support Monsta X” and “you’re not a real fan if you only support Wonho.”
“Wenees are superior.”
“Monbebes are superior.”
“Wenees love Wonho!”
“Monbebes love Monsta X, and Monsta X only!”
“Let’s listen to boycottbebes!”
“Let’s listen to problematic tarotbebes!”
“Let’s listen to akgaes!”
Just...shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut. Up.
I hate to break it to everyone who believes the quotes above, but we are all the same.
Monbebes are Wenees, and Wenees are Monbebes.
There is no competition.
There is no Monsta X without Hoseok, and there is no Hoseok without Monsta X.
You cannot hate the root and only love the flower just like you cannot hate the flower and be fascinated by its roots. In the same regard, a leaf cannot hate another upon the stem because to do so would be the leaf despising itself.
TL;DR: Stop the fan wars before you ruin damn near six years of love and (relatively abundant) peace.
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