#but this was very difficult because I do like Elizabeth and Mark

[catherinetheprincessofwales]

The Times

Extracts: The hardest year of my life: Prince William opens up about Kate’s cancer

The Princess of Wales had major abdominal surgery in January. She later revealed that she was undergoing preventative chemotherapy after cancer had been found. The King also had cancer diagnosed and began treatment earlier this year.

While the princess has spoken about her own journey back to health, William gave the first indication of his own experience as he marked the end of a successful four-day visit to Cape Town.

Speaking in the Portside Tower in central CapeTown, which had been set up as a hub for his Earthshot prize week, William sighed and said: “Honestly? It’s been dreadful. It’s probably been the hardest year in my life. So, trying to get through everything else and keep everything on track has been really difficult.”

“But I’m so proud of my wife, I’m proud of my father, for handling the things that they have done.”

“But from a personal family point of view, it’s been brutal.”

While some commentators remarked on him appearing to be “relaxed” as he hosted the Earthshot prize ceremony on Wednesday evening, William implied that looks can be deceiving.

He said: “It’s interesting you say that, because I couldn’t be less relaxed this year. But it’s more a case of just crack on and you’ve got to keep going. I enjoy my work and I enjoy pacing myself and keeping sure that I have got time for my family too.”

The past two years have seen a major shift for William. As heir apparent after the death of Queen Elizabeth II, William has increasingly adopted a statesman-like role.

In 1947 his grandmother gave an address from Cape Town in which she pledged to serve for her whole life — whether it be long or short.

Nearly 80 years later, William was there under his own steam — with a week of engagements to celebrate the initiative he started four years ago to promote environmental innovations. However, he is also stepping into a more diplomatic role.

William met President Ramaphosa for a wide-ranging discussion. Alongside David Lammy, the foreign secretary, William discussed the relationship between the UK and South Africa. Antony Phillipson, the British High Commissioner to South Africa, described it as the “highest level” meeting.

So, does William relish the double-edged sword of responsibility and freedom that comes with his new role? “It’s a tricky one. Do I like more responsibility? No. Do I like the freedom that I can build something like Earthshot? Then, yes. And that’s the future for me. It’s very important with my role and my platform that I’m doing something for good. That I’m helping people’s lives and I’m doing something that is genuinely meaningful.

“So, the Earthshot [prize] is a culmination, if you like, of all that put together. But it takes a lot of work, and there’s a lot of unseen stuff that goes on, a lot of meetings, a lot of people coming in, a lot of chatting and phone calls, letters, all trying to sort of make the Earthshot get to being the best possible entity it can be.”

But he admits he is frustrated sometimes by the slow pace of businesses and governments to adopt new green technologies.

He said: “I’d like it to be more a team sport. And so, when you go and approach people and say — like business or whoever, or even government — when you approach them and say, ‘Listen, we’re building this incredible thing, please come on board’, some people are extremely fast and keen to it. Others take a little bit longer and it’s those people who take a little bit longer, I’m like, ‘Guys, we just don’t have the time’.”

“So, yes, I get a bit frustrated that it takes a long time to convince people that this is worthy of their attention. But I guess that’s the nature of a global environment prize, you start from scratch and it’s going to take a bit of time.”

William may well have limited time in this role. After all, he doesn’t know how long he will work on these projects as Prince of Wales or when duty will call him to take the top job.

Wednesday night’s ceremony was the biggest of its kind, broadcast live across the world via YouTube and a major African broadcaster.

It opened with a performance of the Lion King’s Circle of Life, which started with a pre-recorded video from the top of Cape Town’s Table Mountain and ended with a live performance in the megadome, a purpose built venue for the awards ceremony, which took 600 people several months to construct.

“I don’t know about everyone else, but hearing the Lion King gets me quite emotional,” the prince said. “But the key thing is really the impact. We need to translate the sort of effort that we put into the visibility of the prize and particularly the visibility of the solutions.”

He hoped his children were watching but may have to wait until he gets home to find out what they thought of it. No doubt that’s wise, given some of his other comments about the discerning opinions of his children, particularly Princess Charlotte.

After the final question about his new beard, William laughed. Even that, it seems, has been somewhat traumatic.

He said: “Charlotte didn’t like it the first time. I got floods of tears the first time I grew one, so I had to shave it off. And then I grew it back. I thought, hang on a second, and I convinced her it was going to be OK.”

After the year William and his family have had, many will hope it will.

[dr-futbol-blog]

Childhood's End

There sure are a lot of strapping young lads in this episode.

In Childhood's End (S01E06), we start sowing the seeds of jealousy that we find upon multiple instances both Sheppard and McKay express when it comes to the other's interest in a woman or a woman's interest in them (possibly this already started at the end of the previous episode with the handsy nurse; there Rodney was miffed, here Sheppard is miffed). Jealousy due to romantic rivalry between two men would make sense in a heteronormative context (women are paying more attention to my friend when they should be paying attention to me) but, uh. That is not and never will be the case with these two.

McKay mentions Samantha Carter at the outset and while he doesn't see the faces Sheppard pulls, we sure do. The thing is, McKay doesn't even say anything particularly incriminating. It's the mere tone of his voice when he mentions her name that Sheppard seems to pick up on.

Devil's advocate: Sheppard finds it distasteful that a fellow officer is being objectified. He finds 'locker room talk' crass, even though there's barely a hint of it here. Okay. But then he does this:

This lip thing is something that we see Sheppard do when ever he does not know how to deal with difficult emotions (a notable example is following the hug Elizabeth gives him after he survives a suicide mission in The Siege, Pt III). This is self-soothing behaviour.

The episode also starts with an example of something that I really don't like but which clearly stems from McKay's insecurity: indicating that he is of a superior intellect and that Sheppard is dumb ("I'm sorry: Yes, energy field good"). Yes, he also did that to Sam in the very beginning ("I have a weakness for dumb blondes"; let's preemptively insult the attractive person to take the sting off the inevitable rejection). He did actually already start this with Sheppard at the outset ("I knew that, of course. I'm just surprised that you did").

This is also one of the reasons I think 38 Minutes (S01E04) would have worked much better later on in the season: in it, we have another instance of McKay asserting his intellectual superiority over the others ("I apologise for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!") because he "reacts to certain doom a certain way" and Sheppard, being in the bind that he is, cuts him short real quick: "You've got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain!"

This is something that we return to time and again. McKay panics and starts going off on everyone around him focusing on all the wrong things, and Sheppard cuts through the fog to get his attention back to solving the problem.

In-universe, McKay is one of the smartest people alive. Some have argued even the smartest. According to Daniel Jackson, he could have won the Nobel Prize several times over. Yes. We later learn that Sheppard is of above-average intellect but obviously he is no match for Marty-Stu McKay because no one is.

Only, when it comes to strategy and strategic thinking, Sheppard is light years ahead of McKay.

This is a very good example of that: Sheppard is teaching McKay how to communicate on a mission. Be succinct, to the point, give only the information that is relevant. Clear communication and simplification of data is vital operation protocol, especially in scenarios of certain doom. Everyone knows that you're smarter than them my guy, he's just trying to keep you and everyone else unharmed.

This episode also marks the hilarious beginning of Sheppard's poor sense of direction. In fact, neither of them can keep a straight line with regards to orientation.

Sheppard can orient himself in the sky but not on land. McKay, as we later learn, cannot keep to a straight line on the ground or in the air.

In the episode, Keras and Sheppard bond real quick. The young village elder seems smitten. Good god, he looks Sheppard intensely in the eyes and says: "I’ll be honest with you, Sheppard. There’s nothing I’d like more than to spend more time talking with you… But it’s not possible." You know, like straight dudes do.

Sheppard also seems to like the boy just fine, although how much of his behaviour is designed simply to stop Keras from doing something he thinks is morally bankrupt is up in the air. They are sitting together, walking together, exchanging personal information.

There's also this:

Keras: Would you stand witness? Sheppard: Me? Well, what do I have to do? Keras: Just be there, as I prepare. We gather the strength from those close to us for the Sacrifice to come.

In the few brief moments they have spent together, they've apparently become close enough for him to ask Sheppard to witness his suicide ceremony. He even takes an arrow to the chest for this man he has just met.

What's real interesting, though, and which I'll return to in connection with Teyla's baby later is when Keras asks Sheppard whether he has any children. He responds: "Me? No. Not yet, anyway." Not yet. Not yet but he might want some one day.

The thing is, McKay's entire arc in this episode deals with him and how he is with children. He starts by being extremely annoyed by them like he's a big child himself. Ford tells the kids: "He's just upset because you're smarter than him." But by the end of the episode he has come to care for these children. He keeps them safe and protected, and makes sure that they haven't been hurt or traumatized by the ordeal. The persistence of these children changed him, and now he seems like he might make a great parent some day. And while they are antagonized by him, the kids also seem to really like him.

Now, what possible, possible reason could you have to bring up one character's desire for children in the future and showing what an excellent parent another character would make in the same episode? Hmm?

[zalrb]

which couples do you consider soulmates but not twin flames?

This whole thing is funny because there are so many definitions/characterizations of twin flames and soulmates that end up contradicting each other sometimes like:

One of the biggest signs that you’ve encountered your twin flame is in your communication. You don’t need words. Your nonverbal communication will be through the roof. "It's so easy to be around them; communication mostly happens through the aura and the subtle body," says Kaur. "It's the closest we can ever get from telepathy."

but also

"A twin flame is a romantic and sexual relationship that can be very difficult to deal with," says Brown.

lmao, anyway.

Some characterizations of the difference between soulmate vs. twin flame

your twin flame is part of your soul, while your soul mate is someone your soul feels at home with. A twin flame teaches you something about yourself, while a soulmate supports you as a friend, lover, or confidant.

According to Bletzer, unlike soulmates, the twin flame relationship is often described as intense, challenging, and marked by periods of separation and reunion.

"A twin flame relationship is meant to challenge us in order to get you closer to the best version of yourself,” said Amy Javier, Intuitive Wellness Guide.

Javier explained that, unlike twin flames, soulmates are a “reflection of all your great qualities.”

and of course, you can only have one twin flame but you can have multiple soulmates and your soulmate can't be your twin flame but since this is all fiction, I find many the ships that I characterize as twin flames can also be soulmates *shrugs*

Anyway, that's a lot of couples.

Dong Man and Ae Ra

Julie and Matt

Jane and Michael

Amy and Jake

Amy and Jonah

Will and Elizabeth - this one I'm still debating tbh

Dan and Blair

Brooke and Lucas

Jake and Peyton

Chris and Jal

Scott and Kira

Malia and Stiles

Eric and Donna

Jackie and Hyde

Monica and Chandler

Pam and Jim

Leslie and Ben

Haley and Nathan

Beth and Randall

Mai and Zuko

Oz and Willow

Se Ri and Jeong Hyeok

Seth and Summer

Jung-Rok and Yoon-Seo

Papi and Angel

Joon-hyung and Bok-joo

Jin Ah and Joon Hee

Jason and Tahani

Veronica and Kevin

Ruby and Stan

there are more but i'm tired.

[cheesemonky]

the queen's society

an overview of the universe of mark, david and all their other friends

head's up, this is a very chaotic story line and the amount of illegal activity that these guys discuss and do is unholy 😭

don't blame me, this is all with my friends' input, and this was created a long while back!!

⋆˚⭒｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆⭒˚｡⭒˚⋆

CHARACTERS :

DAVID:

he is (not so secretly) in love with his best friend

may or may not have a tiny weenie alchohol addiction

does drugs. and by drugs, i mean caffeine. which he gets from an old lady with dementia. and the caffeine in question is kopiko

dropped out of high school in year 11 because "the IB course is way too hard broski" (tbf it WAS difficult)

used to work at a club... not as a bartender...

met almost all his friends in some sort of sexual encounter. 'almost all' being the key words.

swears on his life that he once lived with 8 other people (he didnt, it was one night, and they were all drunk)

shares an apartment with mark, but mark pays the entire rent. like, david payed the first time, then mark moved in and paid for everything after that, including bills

is 25 but only just started uni because mark says he needs a proper job

MARK:

david is his best friend and love interest

aced high school and actually has his life together

rich ass surgeon but had a side job as a bartender for a while

he says he's only living with david because of david's tendencies, but there's definitely an ulterior motive...

his ex-girlfriend is his therapist, so there's tension there

has this weird thing where he gets kidnapped like, every other day, but somehow makes it out???

prefers wine to beer and makes that one 'ew' face when he sees david's cans and bottles laid all over the floor (which is all the time)

adding onto that, has to give constant reminders to get david to clean them out of the tv room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, etc. but they're never gone

KAMERON:

gets mistaken for a woman and has to explain that he wears thigh highs and heels solely because they're comfortable ("tf you mean 'heels are comfy'?")

went to high school with mark and david yet still can't handle either of them

no one knows what he does for work, but he's got a pretty good house and a decent car

closeted gay (the closet is made of glass)

visits david every other week to drink, game and get high

the only friend in the group that has never had any sort of romantic relationship

also pretty smart cos he likes to code

STANLEY

rascist asf and no one knows why he's still in the friend group

he's schizophrenic and insists his name is Andleeb (he has names for everyone else as well)

met mark at a convenience store after he tried to rob the cashier, and mark later bailed him out of jail

is dating his drug dealer (actual drugs this time)

finished high school but dropped out of uni

used to be a car mechanic but got fired after a multitude of cars broke down and the company was sued

pretty sporty, major cricket fan

CLYDE

makes and sells meth to most of his friends

tells people that his name is walter white

met david at a brothel an unholy place

went to school with harriet and jim

was never actually part of the main friend group, he was always just... there ig

he and david dated for a while but turns out he only needed david's basement for meth making so they broke up

is dating his client

CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T THAT INTERESTING BUT ARE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY:

Harriett

Jim

Greg

Rebecca

Elizabeth

Rashmi

@hanjiquokkaaa @jinnie-ret <3

[richmond-rex]

Hi! I'm not super familiar with the late 15th century, but in relation to your last post, I wanted to ask: what exactly was the dower Elizabeth of York received? Do we know the exact amount and how much it was towards the end of her life?

I know that both EW and EoY received lesser than their lancastrian predecessors (very understandable imo - both Edward and Henry had less to give away, the former dower of 10,000 was very unpopular, and in EW's case she had no dowry or no political alliance attached to the marriage, not to mention the promotions, titles and marriages that were additionally granted to her family) but did Elizabeth of York receive less than her mother or did they receive the same amount? I remember reading that EoY received less, at least initially, tho I may be wrong (this obviously doesn't indicate that EoY lacked dignity, respect and opulence as queen - she very clearly received all these things)

Regarding Edward and Henry (or Henry VIII, later on) not paying dowries for their sisters-in-law, I really don't think it's a double standard as much as the fact that the younger Elizabeth's sisters were not just the Queen's sisters, as Elizabeth Woodville's sisters and Henry VIII's sisters-in-law were, but also English royal princesses on their own right. (I also think that's why EoY gave her sisters their own annuities - it would have been keeping up with the respect their royal positions demanded). I say this because it's generally what I see when I stumble across these kinds of discussions. It's not necessarily an invalid point, in my opinion, I definitely agree that the situations were very different. In that same line of thought, Henry VII can hardly be judged for behaving "differently" from former or succeeding kings, because none of them were in the situation he was in! None of them were married to English consorts whose sisters were also English princesses in their own right. And Henry VII DID attempt to marry them to Scottish royal family, if I remember correctly. And like you mentioned, Elizabeth DID give them annuities.

Hello! It's a bit difficult to know Elizabeth of York's exact earnings. One thing which Retha Warnicke has pointed out is that the collected value (£3,535) annotated in her 'privy purse' accounts by Elizabeth's receiver-general after her death in February 1503 — which has been traditionally taken as the full sum of her dower — goes back only to the beginning of the year which was on 29 September (Michaelmas). If that reading is right, that's not an unsubstantial sum to be collected in half a year. Laynesmith cited 'a valor for lands which probably dates from after [receiving Cecily Neville's inheritance] recorded the queen's income at £4,344.' and that's not counting, for example, the £102 annuity Elizabeth received from the town of Bristol, and other such fees.

Laynesmith says that must have been a particularly profitable year for Elizabeth but I see no reason why we should not think the contrary, for example, that the money either collected in less than a year in 1502-1503, or collected after the queen was dead and when her debtors were more unlikely to pay, marked a particularly bad year for her coffers. I think Katia Wright is correct in concluding both Elizabeths probably received around £4,500, more or less, which is roughly what Philippa of Hainault and Anne of Bohemia received too. I think a lot is said about Elizabeth's income because her debts are so well documented but that shouldn't be the case when we consider Philippa of Hainault's (and other queens') debts too.

You have a point that Elizabeth of York's sisters were princesses, but despite that Henry VII didn't proceed much differently from Edward IV in matters of dowries and marriage alliances and actually used 'the ancient customs' of his kingdom as an excuse. For example, for his daughter's dowry, he told Scotland he would not offer a value any higher than what Edward IV had offered them in the past and when pressed again, he only agreed on doubling the price (in the end, I think he ended up spending more money but don't quote me on that yet). Specifically about Elizabeth of York's sisters, he did negotiate a marriage alliance with them in Scotland like you said, and after that, with Portugal and Milan too. This is what the Duke of Milan said to his secretary in 1490:

As M. Francesco reports that his Majesty proposes to give the first of his sisters-in-law to the King of Portugal [...] With regard to what we are informed that his Majesty does not intend to provide a dowry owing to the custom of the country, he will beg him to consider the custom here.

Just like with Margaret Tudor and Scotland, I think it's likely that Henry would eventually give in and pay some dowry if those marriage alliances had actually gone through. But If he could put forth the argument that kings of England didn't pay dowries for his sisters-in-law, he would (and he did). He obviously was bargaining as he often did in international alliances:

So far as I can gather the king's will he seems much disposed to such a [marriage] alliance [with Milan]. It is true that the affair of the Lady Anne, contracted with the King of Portugal for his cousin, is not yet carried into effect, but they are expecting ambassadors daily upon this. His Majesty's ambassadors will give further particulars. Failing the Lady Anne there would remain the Lady Katherine. As regards the dowry I have made his Majesty understand in a discreet manner that the custom of Italy among princes is not what your Excellency says is the use here, and it will be convenient for his Majesty to have regard to everything. To this he replied that as these ladies had been asked for by great lords, some of this country and some from abroad without a dowry, but merely for the sake of the alliance and friendship, he did not see why it should be demanded.

[Months later] There are ambassadors from the King of Portugal with the king. According to what is said, they will conclude the marriage between the cousin of the said King of Portugal and the elder sister of the queen here

I have no idea what was negotiated with Portugal, if a dowry was settled or not, or why the marriage didn't take place in the end. We know that as soon as Manuel ascended the throne in 1495 he asked for the hand of Isabella of Aragon, his cousin's widow, so he may not have been much inclined to the marriage with Anne of York in the first place. It's more clear why the negotiations with Milan didn't go forth, as merely a year later the Duke of Milan (Gian Galeazzo Sforza) ceded control to his uncle Ludovico Maria Sforza who started acting as his regent (yet again). Ludovico was much more aligned with the King of France who at that time was in war with Henry VII (and Ludovico would later come to regret trusting France).

tl;dr: in the end, as Elizabeth's sisters ended up marrying local lords, Henry VII didn't pay for their dowries but it's unclear whether the negotiations with other countries, if they had succeeded, would lead to the same result. It seems clear that he thought that the marriage itself was sufficient as a mark of 'alliance and friendship', and that he intended on profiting from the precedent left by other kings of England. Call him a sly fox if you will, but it's clear he knew how to bargain and negotiate.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a lot longer than I was anticipating while planning. So I was a little stressed out. But overall it was a great day. I got to spend a lot of time outside I got to learn some stuff. I had an hour where I got to just work on my own thing by myself and I love that. It was a good time. I am nervous for the rest of the week because these are about to be so long days. But I think it will still be good.

I didn't sleep great last night. I woke up in the fan was too high and was blowing right in my face and my eyes felt so dry. Waking up was very difficult. But I did it. And I got dressed and I felt okay. I like my new earrings a lot. And my one piercing that had been bothering me yesterday didn't hurt anymore. At least I didn't notice it hurting. Which was encouraging.

James was getting ready to go on their bike ride to DC. And I'll give them a hug and headed out.

I went to McDonald's for breakfast. Which ended up being very smart because I did not know I was going to be a camp until 5:30 p.m. and I did not bring a lunch with me. So I'm glad I at least had a sandwich at some point in the day.

It was a really nice drive out. It was cooler at camp than I thought today was going to be so I was really glad I brought my flannel with me. And as soon as I got to camp I saw Heather and I told her I had to run up to the art building but I would be back soon.

I had a bunch of stuff to drop off. So I brought those things inside and I grabbed my tote bag with all of my lesson plan stuff for the MWEE program and went down to the office.

Celia and Elizabeth were there and she said we were going to meet in the lodge so me and Celia walked over there. And we chilled and talked for a bit. I told her about the book I'm reading and we talked about books that we enjoy and the program and all the stuff that is going to happen this week. Soon Nick and Dashelle and Sarah joined us. Elizabeth would come soon after. And we thought Max was coming too but then all of a sudden he doesn't work at camp anymore. And it was very dramatic. But that's not important. We would figure it out without him.

There was a lot to go over. We got there at about 9:30 and from about 10:00 till 12:30 we just read through the programs and asked every question that we could. I struggled a few times with focusing. I was a little confused about a few parts but Elizabeth was a very good teacher. And honestly it wasn't going to be as bad as I thought because the program that I'm going to be pairing with one of the Towson students on is the program that I did in the fall. So it's not like I'm going in completely for the first time.

We got a break and I had brought some of the cream cheese brioche bread with me so I did have a snack at least. I sat in the sun by the trading post and I read my book. Which so far is very good but there's been a few scenes where I'm like wait why did that just happen. And it doesn't use quotation marks around anything that is spoken so you have to really pay attention to the talking order so that you know who's talking when. So it's definitely a different type of reading but I'm very much enjoying the book so far. Even though it is very dark.

And because no one is ever on time at puhtok I knew that the 1:00 call time for us getting back into our programming was not going to be the actual time. So at 1:00 I walked over to the Erie and continue to read my book and we didn't end up getting back into our program stuff until almost 1:30.

Which ended up working out very well for me. Because in that time period Elizabeth decided that the Wednesday schedule I would not be doing any of the mwee stuff And instead would just be doing multiple different maker workshops. I was thrilled. That's exactly what I wanted! So instead of continuing on with them with learning about the programs I wouldn't even be doing instead I got to go up to the office and talk to Heather about how we were making these clay seed balls.

And I'm lucky enough that I had done this at both PCAT and the Franklin institute. So I was already pretty familiar with how you do this. But Heather still printed out a nice infographic direction for me. So that I can have something to show the kids. For those visual learners. And then I collected all the materials in my car and drove up to the Dodge house. Because we were no longer using that building for this project and we were only using the art building.

When I drove up to the Dodge house I also ran into Chloe! Who I haven't seen in forever. And it was so nice to see her. She's such a sweetheart. And she told me that she actually lived and worked on an Alaskan cruise for an internship when she was in college so that was really cool to hear. And she encouraged a few of the excursions I had told her were on the docket for decision.

I went back up to the art building and the idea was that I had to figure out what the math was to make the ratio from the clay powder to the dirt to the water. For all the groups. 65 kids the first day, 75 the next day, 55 the last day. Or something about that. I am not very good at math though. And I'm much more visual. So instead of trying to do math I set out 230 tiny orange bowls. And then I scooped two big tablespoons in each cup. Which used almost all of the powdered clay. And then it was one part clay to four parts dirt on the instructions Heather had gotten me. So I tried that but it was not enough dirt so I doubled it. And that ended up being perfect. So it's two scoops of clay to about eight scoops of dirt and a splash of water. Mix it all together and you get about six little balls. Then they'll squish some seeds into them and we will walk them to frog hollow where we will throw them into the ground. It looks very silly in the art building right now. But this was the only way I was going to be able to do this. It's the only way my brain can figure it out. And now we have the recipe for later and we know how many little servings we can make with one bag of clay.

The whole thing took me about an hour. And I had a really nice time doing it. And once I was done I went back to the office. Where Heather gave me a carrot cake cupcake. And it was excellent. Just really good icing and a very nice cake itself. Not too dense or anything.

I sat on the porch for a few minutes while I waited for Elizabeth to text me back and tell me where they were. They were down at the stream. So I walked down there to join everyone.

And spent the next 2 hours learning about macro invertebrates. They clowned on me for not knowing if a newt was an invertebrate or not. And we scooped stuff out of the water and we got to identify bugs and little guys. It was a lot of fun actually. The thing I'm teaching tomorrow and Thursday is about water quality. Which is what I had done before. So it's not the most exciting but it'll still be fun I think. And I had a really good time with all of my friends. Oh my coworkers. They were so smart and so interested and Sarah shared some of her hot Cheetos with me. And we all found different worms and stuff. My favorite one was this interesting water bug, I don't remember the name of it, that builds a little shell around itself using sticks and rocks. That's what's in the picture above. There's a little guy in there!

We were all getting pretty tired and hungry by 4:30. But we went up to the Erie and put everything away. I teased Elizabeth for how messy the Erie got again after I had spent multiple hours organizing it. This is what I do not want to happen to the art building this year. I'm going to get so many containers and I'm going to put so many labels on things. And then we all headed to the office.

We checked in about some logistics for tomorrow. And I showed the girls where to get new T-shirts upstairs. And I joked about us all getting in trouble and also that the attic was not as clean as I had left it when I cleaned it out. But really I was just looking forward to going home. I needed to eat and thankfully I wasn't shaky or anything but if I thought about food for too long I knew that it was going to be a problem. So a little after 5:30 we all said goodbye and headed out.

I had a pretty average drive home. I was behind someone in our neighborhood that had some very funny bumper stickers. One said "how's my driving? How does an engine even work? Why would God let this happen?" Or something along those lines. And it was very funny.

And then I came upstairs and James was finishing recording their podcast interview. And sweet pea seemed happy to see me. I got a package in the mail of a little cardigan that I ordered. It's blue and it has clouds all over it and I love it so much. And soon enough James was making us dinner.

And it was a really nice dinner. I read my book while they cooked and they had to run to the store for a moment but they came back soon. James had dumplings and I had vegan shrimp and corn and a little quesadilla. And very quickly after that James was leaving again. Because they were working at the theater tonight. They said it would only be for 2 hours but it's almost 9:30 now and they're still not home. Apparently this group that left yesterday I did not do a very good job cleaning up after themselves. So they had to reset a lot of things that they weren't planning on.

So me and sweetp are just laying here now. James just texted me that they're on the way home. And I'm going to brush my teeth. I took a shower a little while ago. And I hope tomorrow is good. It's going to be a lot. I have to be there at 8:30 and we're probably not going to leave until close to 7:00. I'm hoping that I get home before that but I do not have high expectations. And I'm looking forward to meeting this Towson student that I'm co-teaching with. Fingers crossed they're cool.

I hope you all have an excellent night and wish me luck tomorrow. Good night my friends!

[liu-zixuan]

week 2 Aesthetics

Aesthetics (Greek: αισθητική; Aesthetic is a subdiscipline of philosophy.

The German philosopher Alexander Gottlieb Baumgarten first proposed the concept of aesthetics in 1750 and called it "Aesthetic".

Aesthetics is a subject that studies the aesthetic relationship between man and the world, that is, the object of aesthetic research is aesthetic activity. Aesthetic activity is a kind of human life experience activity with the image world as the object, and it is a kind of human spiritual and cultural activity.

Aesthetics is a secondary discipline of philosophy, which needs a solid foundation of philosophy. It is both a speculative discipline and a perceptual discipline. Aesthetics is closely related to psychology, linguistics, anthropology, mythology and so on. It is difficult to evaluate what beauty is, because everyone's aesthetic is different, and human beings do not have completely clear standards to define beauty. For example, for the human body, I think the muscular body is beautiful, while my sister thinks the body with stretch marks is beautiful. Since ancient times, beauty has been difficult to explain, and the pursuit of beauty in each era is also different. People think that a woman's three-inch golden lotus is very beautiful, what is the three-inch golden lotus, is the woman's feet wrapped in cloth, wrapped into seven feet size, this abnormal and deformed aesthetic is not understood by modern people. Of course, in the Middle Ages, women admired a sense of broken beauty, a sense of broken people before they die, so they put those toxic things on their faces, they lost their lives, but they gained beauty.

Probably the most famous case of cosmetic poisoning in history was Queen Elizabeth I. Historians generally agree that Queen Elizabeth I, who used cosmetics containing arsenic, mercury and lead for more than 40 years, most likely suffered from heavy metal poisoning.Because in the last years of her life, the Queen lost her appetite, her spirit, and her physical health. She often loses her temper with the servants and sometimes throws makeup and brushes at them.

For this assignment, these are the two trademarks I chose, and my favorite is actually Burger King's, because I think its design is very exquisite, and the design is very concise, people can know what the store is selling at a glance, and the image of the label is also designed according to the image of the things they sell, to me, this simple and clear is also a kind of beauty.

（410 words）

[phoebehalliwell]

okay so for prue drake they are probably going to be really artsy kids and i think i'm going to name them after famous / influential artists the first one would def be coming off a shakespeare episode bc what can i say drake has a clear fondness for the bard prolly bc he fux. i'm torn between naming her wilhemina or maybe a p shakespeare name like portia. ooh or maybe it's a boy! he could be named paris even though in shakespeares work if memory serves paris does kind of suck however i have a crush on a guy named paris so i am partial to the name. puck would also be a fun name just because you know he is a mischievous imp faerie type would be good for a magic user but i can't see prue naming her kid that. you know what we're going paris But she's a girl and she's named after the city itself bc that's where we did a louvre episode and reconnected prue with her love of art. her powers are gonna be. telekinesis astral projection and conjuration. the next kid is hmm going to be named persephone and we're going to do an overarching season plot of drake becomes a demon again somehow and something happens trapping him in hell and prue can visit him briefly maybe just in astral form so on so forth we're kind of riffing off the myth of persephone and hades very loosely point is i think prue never goes there with her physical form and yet somehow still ends up pregante o.o. persephone is born plot plot plot she is a psychic like her aunt phoebe and can shift thru realms/planes giving her a kind of natural mediumship and kind of a phasing power where she can walk through walls/have energy balls pass right through her by just ceasing to have her physical body exist on that plane for a moment. she can also shimmer, and when she passes through a physical barrier or moves to another plane we gat the shimmer effect. final daughter hmm. i'm naming her plautilla, after plautilla nelli, one of the few female artists of the renaissance. on a very real level she probably goes by her middle name bc surviving middle school with the name plautilla is going to be a little difficult. her middle name is going to be victoria after victor bennet and we'll say she goes by tori. her powers are telekinesis, molecular combustion, thermal blasts, and molecular acceleration.

for phoebe and simon marks i'm kinda feeling floral/flower names really solely based of the winsdor roses line also like idk they both seem like really romantic people and flowers are romantic also after simon thaddeus reginald marks before them they're getting long ass names. hmm or maybe they should be getting really classic long names. because initially i was thinking petunia/poppy/pansy but now i'm thinking that we go for prudence charlotte elizabeth halliwell marks. hmm. telekinesis empathy orbing levitation and. electrokenesis. i realy think these kids are gonna pack a punch. portia evelyn sophia halliwell marks. telekinesis telepathy orbing levitation and aerokinesis. patience rose ingrid halliwell marks. goes by prim (technically "prihm") after her initials. telekinesis divination orbing levitation and pyrokinesis. with the logical that one knows what you're feeling, one knows what you're thinking, and one knows where you're going (i am defining this power of divination as naturally being able to see up to someone's next crossroads and then with aide being able to see people's futures, fates, potential fates, as the plot wills lol). also prim ended up with p russells power kind of unintentially but know that it's there i'm so vibing with it heeheehee

Out of curiosity, (code: I want to drag someone into alt next gen hyperfixation hell with me and you are like the og alt next gen Charmed blogger, y'know?) do you have any thoughts on what kids of the following pairings would end up like? Piper/Coop, Paige/Andy, Prue/Drake, or Phoebe/Simon Marks? (110% fine if you don't wanna dream up some new kiddos, I'm just currently spinning around in circles yelling about alt next gen potential and it's been a minute since someone forcibly threw an alternative next gen thing at you, I think?)

wait omg awwwww 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞 also yayyy fun okay okay

so i got to piper & coop and paige & andy. there's 1k words about it under the cut ❤️❤️❤️ but the long and the short of it is

piper/coop

juliet halliwell (temporal manipulation, beaming, sensing love)

esme halliwell (photokinesis, electrokinesis, pyrokinesis, beaming, sensing love)

venus halliwell (empathy, beaming, sensing love

paige/andy

clementine trudeau (empathy, premonition, orbing, telekinetic orbing)

sienna trudeau (orbing, telekineis, telekinetic orbing, healing)

ruby garcia trudeau (nyehehehehehehe)

piper/coop i think would def have three kids and i feel like would maybe be named after different iconic lovers? like coop is obvi a cupid and piper canonically loves rom coms and i think also romance novels so like. i think maybe in a world where we scrap the richard intro episode which was obvs a romeo and juliet allusion and instead create an episode where the pain shared by romeo juliet and everyone else in their families so on and so forth creates a Curse the lover's curse where whenever a feud akin to that form romeo and juliet are essentially reborn, destined to fall in love, and, ultimately, die (thus triggering the end of the feud). so these two spirits just keep getting born over and over again and they keep kind of unlocking the memories blah blah blah and idk maybe coop finds them bc love is his deal and they all save the day the point is we're naming the baby juliet. why tho? like. if she's really just a one off person we helped. i mean, yes, also, juliet of romeo and juliet, but, still, only a person we met once. so let's say that in this au they were witches. or maybe just juliet was. so she cast magic that caught coop or tco's radar. and idk maybe we're very worried about piper's baby. and there's a side plot about that. something bad has happened / is happening idk. and juliet after breaking the curse is thanking piper. then! we are attacked by piper's b plot! juliet saves piper. uses her final words to thank her bc now the curse is broken and i can finally move on instead of being reborn into this cursed life. also, i'm healing ur baby. or i'm seeing into the future about her or something. then idk she turns into butterflies whoosh magical death. and piper's trying to name her firstborn she's holding her and then a little butterfly lands on the baby's nose and the baby cooes as if in recognition BOOM welcome juliet halliwell. her power's included temporal manipulation (she can slow time down "to slip in between the heartbeats" as we see cupid do in heartbreak city and she can freeze time (kind of) like her mama. she cannot move backwards in time (yet)). she can also beam and sense love. the next daughter will be from the plot from piper's favorite book she read as a child that she and coop will get sucked into for an episode (maybe one where they're experience love troubles) and it will help reconnect piper with the concept of love and the first story that really had her wishing to be in love and will help coop understand piper's point of view. the next daughter will be named esme halliwell, after the name of the main charcter in that story. she has fire/lightning/light powers, fire as displayed by p russell (and phoebe) in the line and lightning by the evil enchantress who i do headcanon as a distant ancestor of theirs bc of the whole. you know. paige. is her. thing. and then light powers we sometimes see them do. idk. she can also beam and sense love. the third daughter is gonna conincide with an astrological episode where some demon is trying to warp some astral aligning for evil but the charmed ones stop them and save the day!! look at how beautiful. what's that one star rising so brightly right there? oh, it's venus. meet venus halliwell is an empath (with the empath extension pack ability to impact other people's moods by touching them / being close enough to them) who through that power also unlocks deflection and mimicry. can also beam and sense love.

paige/andy it's not gonna be as detailed as the pipercoop one lol. [a/n: as it turns out i was lying :3] this will be the base text we're using. first born we're going to do an episode tensions have been building between paige and andy because of paige's issues with motherhood and what it means to be a mom and maybe it's a muses episode or a trapped in a painting episode the point is there's something artsy paige is trapped in and she has to create something to get herself out of there meanwhile andy is on the outside fighting to get her out and realizing that they are always stronger together and their fight is stupid blah blah blah. paige makes. a painting. she has to find The Color that is the key to getting her out. it's the color that she uses painting one of her first moments with andy (a paige/henry knockoff) their first stakeout, which is also somewhat tied to a bet. they've been waiting in the car for hours, it's sunset now and the sky is tinged orange and andy's peeled her some baby oranges bc she's complaining about being hungry so on and so forth. paige is freed. andy sees her painting. and the daughter is named clementine trudeau. empathy, premonitions, orbing, telekinetic orbing (but really only on things in her line of sight. maybe we do a color theme for this one. their next daughter is named sienna trudeau. i can't reasonably tell you why so we'll say she pulled a chris and came back from the future, giving her her name. powers are. telekinesis. orbing. telekinetic orbing. welcome back, chris halliwell. except sienna can also heal. the third daughter will be an adopted witch that paige and andy found when she was young and idk on the run kind of a la tyler michaels. she's maybe seven or so when they find her, clem's maybe three and sienna's one. plotline plotline, we take her in. she becomes a part of the family quickly and clem and sienna view her as her older sister almost immediately lol. meet ruby garcia. first name color last name i'm stealing from jerry garcia bc my parents were just at a grateful dead show or whatever call it an homage (jerry was not there, he is dead. rip.) ruby might add trudeau onto her last name as well. tbd. anyways, as it turns out, she is a demon witch (omg!!) powers are. fireballs energy balls telekinesis and flaming. i am actually going to make her zankou's daughter. just for funsies.

[er-139]

@raging-disaster & @useless-fangirl-does-fan-art asked:

Mark&Susan or Mark&Elizabeth

“Mark you are my best friend and I don’t know how I’m gonna make it without you

Don’t go”

“And I don’t want you to go but I want you so

So tell me what we choose”

[starport-seven-five]

WIP Wednesday

@playinggalaga tagged me for WIP Wednesday

Rules: post whatever you're working on, no more than 300 words, and tag five other writers.

I have to apologize because the angsty fic I was working on is currently a lot of sentence fragments and ideas all smooshed up without context and it's just not ready for public yet! I tried to find something that I hadn't shared before, and was at liberty to share, and... I dug up this decade-old Sparrabeth WIP. Yup! Is it going to get finished? Hell if I know!

(It's SLIGHTLY over 300 words. Rules were meant to be broken!)

It had been a good plan.  In fact, it was the only plan, seeing as how Elizabeth doubted Jack would have allowed her to burn the rum otherwise.  It had been difficult to carry out, as well, playing into his seduction, feigning a little more tipsiness than she’d actually acquired from the rum…  But quite undoubtedly the hardest part of following her plan had been rather unexpected: she found herself, as the night progressed, actually falling for Jack’s clumsy advances much more so than she had intended to pretend to.

And oh, how she regretted following this plan through.  Elizabeth turned to face said pirate, her eyes surveying his still form.  Jack was… not bad-looking, to say the very least.  If Elizabeth were being honest with herself, she would have been likely to say that she found him rather stunning.  His dress was so unconventional, even for a pirate, and the rest of him…

Here he was, unmoving, for once, and she had all the time in the world to burn his image in her mind; at least, that’s what it felt like, on this island, empty save for her and Jack, removed from civilization.  She’d already seen the tiny island in its entirety.  Now, she could hardly move her eyes away from the sleeping pirate.

Elizabeth settled on a top-to-bottom fashion, starting with the crown of Jack’s head, eyes moving down to his hair, his face, taking in the various adornments—beaded hair, eyes lined with silvery kohl… his features were all sharp, the complete opposite of her own soft ones.  Her eyes traveled down to Jack’s body, his chest, only half-exposed… damn that shirt of his… his torso, and all of it looked so interesting.  Anyone might have found Jack’s skin, with its imperfections and scars, unappealing, but Elizabeth was drawn to the marks, wanted to know the stories behind them, wanted to feel them, and know where they had come from…

I hate tagging people because I always feel like I’m bugging them! Seriously though I always want to hear about peoples’ WIPs so everybody just do it!

[existingisfun]

i think there’s already a few posts like this, but i would like to think that before meliodas met elizabeth, he couldn’t speak a language that humans could understand nor could he comprehend it.

obviously, we all know meliodas is a demon; he is extremely fluent in speaking the demon tongue

he might know a few words of (i’m just going to say english to avoid confusion lmao) the language he’s heard humans speak, but other than simple basic greetings and how to say his name, he’s at a loss for everything else. when he would come across towns and villages and stuck around for the sole reason of being curious, humans would point and stare at him because he clearly is not from their land (you can bet they questioned his demonic mark and dark eyes) and he assumed they talked bad about him.

a few humans actually came up to him and asked if he needed directions or a quick tour around the area, but he didn’t know what in the hell they were saying and assumed they were just telling him off.

(i’d also like to headcanon that he spoke with some sort of accent - though i don’t know wtf a demonic accent would sound like)

he would say something along the lines of: “my name, meliodas. i like to drink :)” (he would try to smile but i feel like it would seem forced because TC meliodas doesn’t mix well with feelings)

in which the humans would respond: “oh! i’ve never heard someone speak like that! just where are you from?”

meliodas would grow frustrated, leave, and unbeknownst to himself, he would wish to go back and try to actually hold a conversation even though he knew he couldn’t.

after some time, he met goddess elizabeth. skip to when they would meet up through secret rendezvous, it was difficult for him to communicate with elizabeth. thankfully (and somehow) she actually knew some things in the demon tongue he was so used to speaking and he felt relieved he could have a decent conversation with someone outside of his demon heritage that actually knew how to speak his language.

(he ended up learning that elizabeth taught herself how to speak his language after meeting him for the first time through some books to guide her)

one day however, he asked her if she could teach him how to properly speak english. he’d seen her interact with humans, speak their tongue and laugh along with them - he realized he wanted that too. she was dazed when he popped the question but agreed nonetheless.

elizabeth went all out. she brought books, random objects and trinkets, and even some food items to help familiarize him with things that were common amongst humans. at first he wasn’t sure— in fact he thought it was plain stupid elizabeth would even bring so many things for his sake— but in the end he was grateful.

after so many one on one lessons with the goddess, he could actually speak coherent sentences humans could understand— he even lost the accent! (it was still faint but it was either never noticed or just simply ignored)

when humans asked him what he wanted as he got himself comfortable at a tavern or bar, he wouldn’t grow frustrated because he couldn’t understand - he would grin slightly and respond; “a nice meat pie would do, and your finest ale too!”

(yes, he would rhyme because the concept of rhyming words fascinated him)

an out of character action, but he ended up thanking elizabeth after everything. he’d told her in the language she helped teach him: “thank you for teaching me how to speak amongst others, elizabeth. i am forever grateful.”

to which she responded, “you’re very welcome, meliodas. it was but my pleasure.”

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Land of Thieves #ChapterOne

Western/ Red Dead Redemption AU / Slow Burn / childhood best friends to lovers 

Gif is not mine.

Read on AO3 (English Version) 

Ler no AO3  / “Terra de Ladrões” (Versão Português)

Chapter warnings: explicit language, explicit violence. 

Word count for this chapter:  4002K

Summary:  When you were a child, you swore that no matter how high the reward in your head, she could always count on you. Life as an outlaw in the west is not easy, but you believe that train robberies are still easier than asking a pretty girl to dance. Land of Thieves, also know as your love story with Wanda Maximoff in the Wild West.

Pt.1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt.4 || Pt.5 || Pt.6 || Pt.7 || Pt.8 || Pt.9 || Pt.10 || Pt.11

You were covered in mud and blood when you entered the saloon. Curious and judgmental eyes turned to you, but you didn't stare back. Stretching your back, you felt your whole body ache; the recent beating was sure to leave marks. Walking over to the counter, you threw three gold coins onto the wood, muttering in a mumbled tone "bath" to the saloon keeper. He nodded slightly, showing you the way to the restrooms. As you washed up, you grumbled against the recent cuts, but you were happy to know that you hadn't been shot. Your body ached, but without bullet wounds, you would be better in no time. A pretty girl who worked in the saloon smiled at you when she took your muddy clothes to wash them, and you looked away blushing helplessly. She handed you new clothes before she left. When you finished your shower, you put on the white silk shirt, and beat-up jeans that were handed to you. The boots were not new, but they were comfortable. You also put on spurs, but they didn't give you suspenders, so you left the shirt loose against your body, enjoying the lightness. Attaching your holstered belt to your waist, you checked to be sure your Schofield revolver was clean and locked before you holstered it. You walked to the top floor of the saloon, ignoring the curious glances cast at you on the way. You hoped that no one would recognize you from the reward posters, but you weren't so sure about that, since your face was quite exposed without your hat, which must now be somewhere lost in the middle of New Elizabeth, or on some thief's head. Whistling softly, you walked to the saloon balcony, watching the town below. Valentine is a ranching town, small and not very crowded. Lots of pedestrians, you observe. You light a cigarette as you watch the citizens go about their mundane lives, many opportunities passing before your eyes. You let your gaze wander to the town bank, a few meters ahead on the right of the saloon. You notice that security is low. Making mental notes about everything you could observe from there, you put out your cigarette, returning to the lower part of the saloon, toward the counter. - A whiskey and a beef stew. - You grumble, handing the bartender some coins. He nods in agreement and in a few minutes you get your meal. While you are sitting at the farthest table in the room, you listen attentively to the conversation of two men at the poker table, who have caught your attention. - My cousin saw the carriages in Saint Denis. Four horses in each, and he said that the riders were armed to the teeth." - The skinny man commented excitedly, his friend didn't look so happy. - Those damned bankers are like pests of the soil. You saw what happened to that southern town, I think it was called White Gate. - commented the man with the mustache, his expression frowning. - After the oil ran out, everybody lost their jobs. Stark closed the mine and the citizens began to starve. Almost everyone moved to the neighboring towns. Stark. The name was not strange to you, but you could not tell exactly where you had heard it before. You finished your stew, deciding that Steve would want to know about both the bank and the possible rich men who were visiting the town. Finishing your whiskey in one gulp, you stood up, leaving the saloon just as you collected your freshly washed clothes from the same woman who had brought them. It was hot and humid outside. Knight, your Hungarian half-breed horse, grunted with delight when you stroked his mane. You smiled at him before you mounted. You rode south, figuring you would have no trouble finding the new camp site, and trying to remember Bucky's instructions about where exactly they were. It took some time, but you finally found the camp. You dismounted Knight as you entered the area between the trees, walking calmly to the largest tent. Steve Rogers was like a father to you. When your birth parents died of cholera, you ran away from the orphanage the government put you in, and started living on the streets. You were only seven years old, but you were smart enough to hide in one of the garbage carts when the nuns weren't looking, and you ran away because you couldn't stand being beaten by the older children and your own teachers. You ended up somewhere in West Elizabeth, and while trying to steal some food, you were chased by two officers. But just as they were about to catch up with you, someone knocked them out. You smiled when Steve held out a big piece of bread and water to you. From that moment on, you lived with him. The Avengers gang became your family. Steve took care of you, and trained you as an outlaw. You learned everything that was essential to survive in the Wild West, from hunting to murder. And as the years passed, other people joined the gang, and you accepted them all as your family. When Steve saw you, he smiled tenderly, wiping the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief as he motioned for you to enter the tent. - So, kiddo, what did you find out in Valentine? - asked the man as you sat down in the opposite position, on a wooden chair. - They have a poorly protected bank. - You shrugged. - But you know how these small towns are, the risk is almost always not worth the gain. - That's too bad, we need money. Especially to buy medicine. You let out a low exclamation of agreement, you knew exactly how difficult the situation was. It had been a particularly difficult season for the gang. With Fury's death at the last service, and the move out of town to get away from the officers, you were still facing a wave of illness. Carol and Bruce had been feverish and bedridden for days, and Thor had been shot during an unsuccessful robbery. - I overheard an interesting conversation, though. - You say, and Steve looks at you curiously. - Some rich people are coming to Valentine in a few days. The name Stark was mentioned, have you ever heard of it? Steve's eyes widen in surprise and excitement. - Of course I have! - he exclaims. - Filthy rich folks there! Rich enough to lend us a little money without even noticing. - I think Stark is going to buy the oil mines at Heartlands. And he's staying in Valentine while he does the negotiations. - That's excellent. - Steve says, running his hand along his chin in a thoughtful expression. - If the deposit is made in Valentine, we will have the purchase money first hand. You nodded. - But even if the deposit is made here, the money is sure to be transferred to Saint Denis. - You retort, trying to think of all the details of the scam. - Which means that we have to steal the money the same day it is deposited, or we only stand a chance during the transfer. Steve stood up, walking around the tent with the same thoughtful expression on his face. - No, no. - He began to speak as if the alternatives were rapidly forming in his head. - The carriage will be extremely protected. In the gunfire, we can be very worried about not getting killed, which will give them a chance to escape to the city. And then we'll have no way to reach them there. You sighed, knowing that he was right. You frowned, trying to think of something, but Steve soon spoke again. - We need to do this while the money is in the bank. And we have to do it fast. - He says, and then walks to the edge of the hut, looking around the field. He whistles, attracting the attention of Peggy Carter, who is chopping wood, and when she raises her curious gaze to him, Steve beckons her to join him. - What is it, Rogers? - Peggy asks gently. You exchange a smile with her. - We've got a new hit. - He says, making room for Peggy to join you. - Is Bucky around? - He went out hunting a few minutes ago. The twins went with him. - Peggy says and you rest your face on your own hand, waiting for Steve to speak again. - Oh right. I'll explain the details to them later. - The blond man says, walking around the cabin to the table in the opposite corner, and he takes a pen and paper and begins to write down what you think of as a rough draft of the plan. - We will rob Valentine's bank then. - I thought that banks in small towns were not worth the risk. - Peggy commented with a slightly confused expression. - Ah, but we have a unique opportunity. - Steve remarked, bringing the doodle over to Peggy. - Howard Stark, big oil guy, is going to buy the Heartlands mines. The purchase money will be deposited in Valentine before being transferred to Saint Denis. I believe we will have about a few hours to rob the bank - Steve, are you sure this is a good idea? - Peggy assumed a worried posture. - We are short on snipers... - It's a great idea. - He interrupts, looking at Peggy seriously, but still maintaining a calm tone. - We need the money, Peggy. If this is planned correctly, we don't have to worry about the number of weapons. - I appreciate the confidence in my abilities, by the way. - You playfully push your shoulder lightly against Peggy, she smiles at you. - Of course I trust you, Y/N. - She answers, but her gaze is still worried. - We just need to be careful in this job. You spend the rest of the afternoon planning. It doesn't take long for Bucky to join you. He hands a deer carcass to Pietro, who carries it back to the supply hut. Steve repeats the plan, and you let your gaze drift quickly to Wanda, who smiles at you, and you feel something in your stomach drop. Blushing, you look away, turning your attention back to Steve. It is already night when you have finally finished working out the plan. Wanda and Pietro joined you at some point, and you had to mentally repeat to yourself to pay attention to Steve's words and not to the redheaded girl a few feet away. You didn't want your passion to cost your life or put everyone else in danger because you didn't absorb the plan correctly, but you were getting to this level of unfocused. You felt a light tug on your arm as you walked toward the fire, and found yourself smiling wryly as you faced Wanda already looking at you. - I got my first deer today. - She declared, looking up at you with bright eyes, a tone of pride and happiness in her voice. You raise your eyebrows in a pleased expression. - What? That's amazing, Wands. - You replied. - I told you that you would learn soon! I would have liked to have seen it. - We can hunt together. - She says, and you try not to show your nervousness at the thought of being alone with Wanda, but you don't disguise it very well, which makes Wanda confused, and she looks almost disappointed when she quickly adds - Pietro can come with us too. You blink a few times, believing her to be clarifying that she had no intention of spending time alone with you, and swallowing dryly, you nod in agreement. - Yes, yes. Sure, we should call him too. - You say taking a few steps back, hands in your pockets as you stare uncomfortably at the floor. Wanda bites her lower lip lightly, finding you extremely difficult to decipher. You spend a moment in silence, before she speaks again - We can go tomorrow afternoon if you have no business in town. You think about it for a moment, trying to remember if you had made any appointments, if any robbery opportunities had been signaled to you, but you can't think of anything. - No, it's fine. We can hunt tomorrow. - You say, trying not to be too embarrassed by the contented smile Wanda flashes at you. She was probably going to say it was marked, but Pietro interrupted the moment by extending a bowl of stew in front of her face. Wanda blinked a few times in confusion, but thanked her brother as soon as she grabbed the item. Pietro turned to you next, a relaxed posture as he took a sip of the beer he was holding. - What were you two talking about? - he asked, his tone curious. - It's rude to snoop, you know. - You teased, drawing a short laugh from Wanda, and Pietro rolled his eyes stubbornly, but smiled. - We're going hunting tomorrow. I'll show Y/N that I learned how to use the bow on some deer. - explained Wanda, looking at her brother. - Will you come with us? Pietro frowned, denying with his head. - Sorry, little sister. - He speaks seriously, but his eyes have a malice in them that you didn't know how to recognize. - I'd love to join you on your date, but I have an appointment. You and Wanda blush at the insinuation, but Pietro continues with a playful aura as he takes another sip of beer. Although embarrassed, you can't help but be happy to know that you would be spending some time alone with the girl. - Oh, all right. - Wanda says in what seems to be an attempt to sound disappointed, but her eyes sparkle slightly as she speaks. You don't notice, but Pietro smiles at the expression. - You're full of secrets lately. What kind of appointment? Pietro laughs, shrugging his shoulders. He walks toward you with a playful expression, and puts his arm around your shoulders, smiling at Wanda as he leans on you. - Your girlfriend taught me how to play poker and now I am famous, my presence is requested in Rhodes. I need to bet and win some money for this place. You choke slightly on the phrase and feel your face heat up, looking down at the floor. Wanda lets out a nervous laugh, and pushes her brother lightly, making him let go of you. - You mean lose money, don't you? - she teases. - Even Thor plays better than you, and he usually just flips the table. You laugh, risking a glance at Wanda, who has a reddened face and quickly exchanges a smile with you. Pietro rolls his eyes and walks past you, waving goodbye. Deciding that you should eat something, you nod to Wanda that you are going to the fire. She smiles and follows you silently

You didn't hunt very often. Although you were good at it, it was not your function in the camp. You were a gunslinger, and your jobs usually involved carriage robberies and trespassing, even the occasional robbery. You were always part of the team for the big scams. And then Wanda invited you to go deer hunting and you became an anxious mess. Stumbling out of your tent, you hurried to take a quick swim in the creek near the campground. It was important not to smell too strongly when you went out hunting, as the animals could more easily notice you. Coming out of the water with wet hair, you put on your clothes, leaving the suspenders hanging from your waist and a few buttons open on your shirt. You were feeling heated. You waited for Wanda at the campfire. She also bathed before meeting you, and she seemed slightly anxious when she found you. You smiled as you poured some coffee, and Wanda looked a little airy when she accepted the cup. You didn't understand why, but the sight of your relaxed appearance, your loose hair and your exposed collarbone was absolutely irresistible to her, making Wanda feel heated in places that were not appropriate. You joked that soon she would become the best hunter in the camp, and you were happy to make her smile. As you rode out of the camp, you smiled as you felt Wanda lightly tap her foot against yours, as you used to play with as children. Riding in silence for a few minutes, you enjoyed the gentle breeze until you came to a hunting spot. You descended from Knight slowly, stretching your body when you reached the ground. Wanda watched your shirt lift and reveal some skin, then she looked away quickly, her face red. You cast a curious look, thinking she was feeling heat. Grabbing your rifle stored on the horse, you watched Wanda take from Lily's saddle - her red sorrel - a longbow and some arrows. You walked in silence, heading for the shallow part of the creek beside you, where you could easily find deer. It was comfortable to be in Wanda's presence, even in silence. Neither of you had to say anything to know exactly what to do next, your body following her along the way as if you had done this many times before. One look and you knew when to wait, or when to be quiet. It didn't take long before you spotted the deer. There weren't many, and Wanda bent down in front of you to take aim. You watched her with admiration. She raised her bow, and you noticed the slight tremor in her hands and frowned. You came forward, also bent down, and stood beside her. - There's no need to be nervous, Wands. - You whispered softly. - It's just me. The trembling in their hands seemed to diminish, but it was still there. You moved closer, raising your hands to join Wanda's, helping her to keep a steady aim. - Take a deep breath. - You said against her ear, waiting for her to obey. - And then shoot. With her speech, Wanda let go. The arrow cut through the air with speed, hitting the animal straight in the head. A perfect shot. You smiled, and when you looked at Wanda, she was already looking at you. You were about to congratulate her on the shot, but Wanda hugged you by the neck, surprising you. You felt your face heat up and due to the shock, you didn't respond to the hug, your body seeming asleep for an instant. Wanda let you go quickly, her face flushed with apology. You were about to tell her it was okay, and maybe hug her back, then you heard an animalistic noise that attracted your full attention, a low growl that you knew all too well. Glad you had brought your rifle, you looked around, searching for the source of the noise. Wanda blinked curiously, but you didn't look at her again. Standing up, you held the rifle with both hands, your gaze roaming the surroundings. A moment later, the bushes a few feet away moved, and you watched the creature sneak through the undergrowth, only to run toward you the next second, preparing to jump. The sound of gunfire echoed for a few seconds after the shot. You let out the breath you were holding and watched the panther lying on the ground, just a few inches away from your feet. Wanda looked at you in shock, and you offered your hand to help her up. - Sorry for the scare. - You grumbled, walking towards the panther intent on retrieving the skin, which should be worth a few dozen dollars. - We always have to be careful not to become the prey during the hunt. - How did you hear it? - Wanda asked curiously. - Practice I guess. - You said, kneeling down beside the panther. - Every sound around us is important. - You explained - Pay attention now, for example. Besides my voice, what do you hear? Wanda seemed to think for a moment. - I can only hear water, I think. Maybe birds. - She confesses, you finish cutting the skin off the animal in front of you. - Oh, sorry. - You say quickly. - I forgot that I just drove all the animals away with the noise of the rifle. You laugh to yourself, and Wanda smiles at you tenderly. - Let's go after that deer. I'll teach you to hear the sounds another day. - You tell her as you stand up. Walking over to the dead deer, you observe Wanda kneeling beside the animal, drawing her own knife. - Bucky taught you how to skin? - you ask, watching the firm but still amateurish cut Wanda was giving the animal. - Yes, he told me to skin rabbits before he taught me to cut the deer during yesterday's hunt. - said the red-haired girl focused on the activity. You tried not to blush as you watched a drop of sweat trickle down your neck. - I learned to skin animals from him too. - You commented as you waited for Wanda to finish the task. - I was a little smaller, I think. - I guess it took long enough for us to learn how to hunt, didn't it? - Wanda joked, drawing a smile from you. It was true, hunting had been the last activity Steve and Bucky taught you. For some reason, teaching them to shoot was a higher priority than getting food from the wild. A moment later, Wanda finished, raising the deer leather in the air, showing off her work proudly. You laughed at her expression, signaling for her to step away from the animal. You handed her your rifle, and bent down, grabbing the carcass with both hands and throwing it over your shoulders to carry it to the horse. It was quite heavy, but you concentrated your breathing as Bucky had taught you, and managed to carry the animal to Wanda's sorrel. After placing the carcass on the back of the animal, you grunted when you saw the state of your shirt, completely covered in blood. - What's the matter? - Wanda asked curiously when she heard your sigh. - Pepper made me promise not to come covered in blood to the camp anymore. - You say, rolling up your sleeves. - She told me she would put me to sleep with the horses if I showed up like this again. Of course, she will probably just change my watch shifts, but it will still be a pain to hear the lecture. - You could have told me to carry the deer. - Wanda retorted, looking at you with a mixture of seriousness and guilt. You just smiled. - Don't be silly, I just need to clean up before I go back. - You said simply, and Wanda frowned in confusion. And then she choked in surprise, watching you pull your shirt over your head. You went around her body and towards the creek. It took Wanda a few seconds to snap out of her shock, then she turned her head toward the creek, her face flushed. You rubbed the fabric with your hands, watching the blood drip into the water. You put your shirt aside only to wet your own body, wiping any traces of blood from your skin. Completely oblivious to the shy mess Wanda had become as she watched you wash yourself. Finished cleaning yourself, you wrung out your shirt, getting as much water buildup out as possible. You put your clothes back on, feeling the damp fabric against your skin. Wanda stood in the same place you had left her, and you frowned when you saw her look quickly away from you, her face red. You suddenly felt very embarrassed, thinking that you must have crossed some boundary with her. Coughing awkwardly, you walked toward your own horse. You rode in silence back to the camp, you mentally going over the whole conversation trying to find what you had done wrong that made Wanda so quiet. You were surprised when you heard her singing softly. Smiling without looking at her, you slowed down the speed of Knight's gallop, trying to enjoy the moment to the fullest. Wanda continued to sing the whole way, and you tried to ignore the feeling of butterflies in your stomach

[almightyellie]

classy girls

in which gwilym is, quite literally, the darcy to your elizabeth, but he takes the role a little more seriously than you had anticipated.

word count: 4.1k

a/n: "is it good? define ‘good.’ is it content? you’re damn right it’s content” -john mayer. remember when the borhap cast said gwil seemed snooty before they got to know him? yeah :,)

title song: classy girls (b version) // the lumineers

Gwilym is...well, not what you expected, to say the very least.

When your best friend had convinced you to audition for her newest show, you had almost been thrilled. It had been a long time since you had done a show that you hadn’t despised, and working with Gabby was sure to be a shining light in an otherwise dark year. Of course, there always has to be something. The dark underside of a silver-lined cloud.

Your leading man is talented, that much you’re unable to argue. Gwilym’s long resumé is impressive and if he was a little warmer, you might tell him so, but so far, two weeks into rehearsals, the man has barely said five words to you. Gabby seems to like him, though, and she seems to think he’s the most qualified man for the job. You suppose you would, too.

Perhaps the most infuriating thing about Gwilym Lee is that he is, in fact, the perfect man to play your Mr. Darcy. Tall and brooding and so quiet that if he wasn’t good-looking, you might forget that he was around. You had to give your compliments to the casting director, they could not have picked someone better; so good for the role, in fact, that you had already begun settling into the familiar dynamic between the two characters.

In short, you can’t stand him.

Not that the two of you have had any worthwhile interactions. Once, before you had learned your lesson with him, you had offered to pick something up for him on your coffee run, an offer that was paid for in a blank look of disinterest from him. Needless to say, you hadn’t gone out of your way for him since.

As for the show, well, that was going as well as expected. As well as it could when the two leads could barely look at one another.

The everyday Elizabeth. That’s what Gabby had called you. Her everyday Elizabeth. “Someone everyone can relate to,” she said. The idea had made you roll your eyes then, but you’re twice as miserable now than when she had brought up the idea originally. Perhaps it was foolish to think you could out-will your friend because as steadfast as you are, she’s twice as stubborn, much too hard-headed to accept no for an answer when it came to her production.

“It’s been so long since we worked together,” she had said airily, stirring her sickly sweet coffee across from you, and you raised a challenging brow.

“And I hope this is the show that finally gets it in your head that we work terribly together,” you retorted. Gabby only shook her head with a laugh; she couldn’t deny it. Our Town was over two years ago and you still shiver at the thought of the long rehearsals; you weren’t sure your friendship would survive the production, but here you are, somehow, still together and still doing another show together.

It’s easy to forget how difficult it can be, though. The idea of being in a show your best friend directed sounds magical, in the beginning. In reality, the two of you are far too comfortable snapping at one another, especially in such a high-stress situation. Gabby, in her endless effort for perfection, was about as high-strung as a director could come, and you tried hard not to let her get to you, but nothing put you on edge like a crowded theater, like a director screaming at you to project louder. Needless to say, the two of you bickered. A lot.

Even so, all was well. As frustrating as the situation is, it’s hard to hate the process. Even when you’re following the stage crew around with a roll of tape to mark out set pieces, rolling the sets on and off stage, you thrive off the atmosphere, the empty theater, the smell of dusty curtains and sawdust and paint. It makes it all easier.

With scripts in hand, you and Gwilym stood across from one another on stage, joined by Peter, the shorter, sweeter, younger Bingley to your own brooding Darcy. Peter is impossible not to adore, you’ve found. The two of you giggle, all but ignoring Gwilym at your sides. He clears his throat, more from discomfort than lack of attention, you presume, and you continue laughing along with whatever ridiculous thing Peter is rambling about.

“Should we start?” Gwilym sighs, cutting off your stage partner.

With a raised brow, you shift to focus on him. “Gabby isn’t even here.”

He clears his throat again, blue eyes cutting through you with an intensity that makes you shiver. “Even so, a few extra moments of practice shouldn’t do us harm.”

Gwilym, you must admit, wore winters well. His cheeks were ruddy from the cold under his thick beard and a heavy—and no doubt, expensive—woolen sweater paired nicely with his dark pants. In the spirit of long rehearsals, you allowed yourself a few lingering looks. The man annoyed the hell out of you but damn it if he wasn’t one of the most gorgeous specimens you knew; if he was going to cause you so much grief, you may as well have gotten some satisfaction out of it, so you would look at him so long as he didn’t realize you were.

“Maybe we should just savor the few free moments we’ll get today, hm?” You propose, silently cheering at the annoyed eye roll Gwilym tries to conceal. Part of you revels in irritating him the way you do, subconsciously searching for different ways to step on his nerves. It works, nearly every time, which only fuels you further to drive him crazy seven ways to Sunday.

From the orchestra pit, you hear Gabby’s voice rise. “Maybe we should start the scene again,” she suggests, and you chew on your lip, irritated that Gwilym is going to end up getting his way. You hadn’t even heard her sneak in. With her own script, she hopped up the stairs to find a seat on the front row, already grinning. “I’m hoping to get through blocking the first act today, so let’s get to it, gang.”

Gabby nudges your side as the two of you leave the theatre, your best friend looking over at your slyly. “So, Gwilym.”

You groan, digging through your bag. “God, he’s the worst, isn’t he?”

“He’s fine.”

“He’s insufferable.”

“I like him,” she laughs softly. “He’s very dedicated.”

You kick at the cement with the toe of your sneaker, shrugging. “Yeah, I guess. He’s just so...serious. He can’t take a minute off, you know?”

Gabby smirks, sticking her hands in her pockets. She had a special perspective, one your co stars didn’t have. She got to watch you all head on, watching the interactions, conversations, lines, but mostly, watching the in between moments. She got to see what happened when the actors weren’t acting.

In turn, she got to see the way Gwilym looked at you.

He was good at hiding it, at the very least. He didn’t gawk at you like she noticed John doing during your scenes together. Even from afar, Gabby recognized the emotions that played on Gwilym’s face when he watched you: confusion, curiosity, awe. They were feelings she was well acquainted with, and ones she had been able to place from the first moment you and Gwilym had stepped on stage together. Even before you could, Gabby saw those feelings, and she had waited patiently for them to come to fruition.

She was done waiting.

“I think you two might have gotten off on the wrong foot,” she offers. “You would really get along if you two could just have a civil conversation.”

“I highly doubt that,” you scoff. As though Gwilym Lee knew what a civil interaction even looked like.

Gabby just rolled her eyes. “Eventually. You two will come around to one another, just wait and see.”

And wait, you had. Gwilym had proved himself to be shy at best and absolutely miserable at worst.

The silence, you could deal with, but his face was the thing that really irritates you. Any decision you make, any inflection he doesn’t like, any little move you make that doesn’t sit right with him means you get that empty, blank stare he so loves to give. Just the thought of it made your hands shake and your stomach drop in nothing short of fury. Even without words, he managed to push your last nerve right to the edge, and that blank stare is often met only with a sharp, unwavering glare from you.

You try not to make rehearsals too difficult for anyone else; most everyone was here to do something they love, something they care about, and it killed you to think that you might be the person to ruin the experience for anyone else. As much as you want to stomp your foot and yell in Gwilym’s straight face, you decide to suck it up and deal with it, especially for Gabby’s sake.

But it isn’t always so easy. You wonder, after a while, why you're so opposed to him. Gabby had spent the weeks since meeting Gwilym doing just short of gushing about him. Every once in a while, you catch sight of them in the wings, discussing lines or blocking, or sharing jokes and laughing. He looks like a real person then, like more than that underwhelmed robot that you had gotten to know and dislike. You hadn’t done anything to make him dislike you, as far as you knew, so why would he not laugh with you like that? Why didn’t the two of you discuss your scenes together?

Maybe you’ve ruined the chance you had to find friendship with your co-star, but it wasn’t entirely your fault. Why were you the one that had to extend an olive branch? Why should you be the one that offered friendship? You had tried to be his friend and he had been just as unresponsive as he had been every day since. Maybe it’s just difficult to admit that he doesn’t like you for you.

Have you judged Gwilym wrong? What was there to wrongfully presume? He was detached, and you had sworn that you would be, too. Why would you waste your time on someone who quite clearly didn’t think you were worth theirs?

Empty bottles litter your table as your co-stars excuse themselves for the night. It’s been a long one, a last hurrah before the show opens tomorrow, and while all your friends shuffle out of the near-empty bar, you’re only pulling your script from your bag. You’re prepared—of course, you are—but it has become a habit in the last few months. Yes, you’re prepared, but more than that, you’re anxious.

You’ve hardly gotten past your first scene when long fingers tap on your table.

“Last minute preparations?” Gwilym asks, face deadpan as always. Stifling a silent groan, you look up at him with a polite smile.

“Can’t hurt, right?”

And for the first time, Gwilym actually smiles at you. A genuine smile, not one required by a script or improvised for a scene. It’s small, just as habitual as the one you gave him, but it’s a step in a direction that you weren’t sure you would ever go with him.

“Do you mind if I sit?” He asks, and you’re so surprised by the interaction that all you can do is shake your head. He sits across from you, putting his pint down and glancing at your script, marked up in different shades of sticky notes. “Feeling ready for tomorrow?”

Your head tilts, lips pursed in thought as you look at your script. “Are you going to judge me if I say no?”

The corner of his lips quirk in a tiny smile. “No, I won’t, because I know you’re ready.”

You laugh softly, thumbing at the dog-eared pages in front of you. What, exactly, were you supposed to say to that? You suppose that Gwilym would know better than anyone. He’s the one standing in the wings watching you, or standing in front of you, working through those scenes. Your opposite must know when you’re ready.

You and Gwilym butt heads, but he didn’t seem the type to sabotage a show over such a silly conflict. It comforts you, even more than Gabby’s assurance. “You think so?”

He rolls his eyes, as though it’s a stupid question. “Of course, I do. Although, I think you would do even better if you went home and got a full night of sleep.” With a sharp look from you, Gwilym seems to relinquish control of the conversation. He shrugs gently, finishing off his drink. “Just a suggestion,” he softens.

“Thank you,” you say gently, still slightly confused by his sudden approach. He had no interest in speaking to you in the last few months. What had changed?

“Good night, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gives you a friendly smile and doesn’t wait to see if you return it before he slips from the booth and goes to pay his tab.

It makes you wonder, really, how a five minute interaction makes you look at him a little differently after all this time.

You’re late.

Call time was fifteen minutes ago, and your hands are shaking when you step through the doors of the theater. Your day had been one long, terrible, sick-inducing panic, followed by a much more intense, much less digestible thirty minute panic on your drive over. Nothing had settled you yet, and you knew nothing would until the show began. It’s always worse before you perform. Once you had finished the first show, it would be easier.

Gabby is nowhere to be seen, thankfully, when you rush inside, meaning you get to skip right over whatever tongue-lashing she had planned for you in the minutes since you had been scheduled to arrive.

As you rush into the dressing room, you force yourself to ignore the near-nauseating wall of hairspray and perfume, a desperate attempt to keep from sweating under the stage lights. You greet your co-stars, smiling gently until you catch sight of your small section of the vanity. Amidst all your random trinkets, your hair products, and your snacks, is a vase of intricately arranged flowers, large and obvious and bright. Brows raised in surprise, you approach the counter, already reaching for the card as you drop your bag into your chair.

“That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny.” -Mr. Darcy.

The line on the card makes you smile, the inconspicuous handwriting causing a burn to jump within you. If nothing else, it makes you wonder. A small piece of you considers Gwilym; the thought of him sneaking the vase into the dressing room before anyone else had arrived makes you laugh quietly, not just out of wonder but from the ridiculousness of it all. Of course, it wasn’t Gwilym. John, maybe, but not your own Mr. Darcy.

The door bursts open behind you, revealing your frazzled director, and almost forgotten, you put the card on the counter and jump into action for her.

The night flies by, hair and makeup and costumes and mic checks, until the cast and crew stand in the wings, whispering to one another as Gabby makes her introduction to the audience. Side by side, you stand with the women playing your sisters, bouncing anxiously at the thought of the lights on your skin so soon.

Gently, so as to not surprise you, a hand falls on your bicep, and you look back to see Gwilym. “Are you ready?” He asks, fidgeting with the collar of his costume, one you know he had been too noble to complain about since you had begun doing dress rehearsals.

“I think so. Are you?” You respond, too anxious to wonder about his motives behind this, or your previous, conversation.

“I suppose I have no other choice, do I?” This makes the co-stars around you giggle, not so much out of genuine amusement than to get in Gwilym’s good graces, you’re sure. You offer what you hope to be a comforting smile, one he returns quickly as the curtains begin to rise. He leans close again, voice low, trying not to disturb the scene, and whispers earnestly, “Did you like the flowers?”

You turn to him with a shocked expression, one you couldn’t likely hide if you tried, but before you can interrogate him, your castmates, already in character as your sisters, begin to pull you onstage.

After a week, you’re certain that Gwilym is avoiding you.

You rarely see him before a show, not that you even have time to breathe, let alone ask him about the flowers that are beginning to wilt on your kitchen counter. By the time you’re out of costume and ready to speak to him after your shows, he’s already gone. Perhaps it was a show of good faith, or a sign of encouragement, but the explanation just doesn’t seem like it’s enough. Whether or not that’s true or you just want it to be more, you’re unable to tell.

The shows are going well, which distracts you enough. You’re not faking tension with your romantic lead, for an entirely different reason than before, and apparently, it’s coming across beautifully on stage. Reviews are glowing and Gabby is basking in them; your best friend is in the highest spirits of her life. Her last production had done poorly and you know she must be relieved, at the very least, that this is going so well. She hasn’t asked about your sudden interest in speaking to Gwilym, but you know she’s curious.

She’s just as confused as you are about your sudden flip. You just want an answer from him, a little more information, but he seems to be dodging you at every opportunity. He won’t even look at you when the two of you stand backstage together. After a week, you’re mostly just impressed by his commitment to not paying attention to you. His inattention is almost worse than your original bickering, because now you spend all your time wondering what his deal is, what he’s thinking about, and if that’s you.

And you thought he was good at irritating you before.

By the time the show is closing, you’re certain that you’ll never get your answers from Gwilym. It’s not unreasonable to believe that he’ll slip out after the curtain call and disappear into thin air, something he so loves to do.

As though you expected anything less after such great preparations, your final show practically goes off without a hitch. It’s bittersweet; you’re excited to have your nights back to yourself, pleased that all your work has paid off so well, but it hurts like the closing of any show does. Part of you isn’t ready to say goodbye to your castmates, or to your character, and the ache is just as familiar as the pride.

Your castmates pack up their things and filter out of the theatre with the promise of drinks at the bar down the road, one last hurrah together as a complete cast. As you gather your own things, you revel in the excitable chattering of everyone outside the dressing room. It’s always nice to have one last look around before you leave, and it’s so rare to be the last one in the dressing room, so you revel in the sound of your friends, muffled through the heavy door, and the quiet peace of the empty room.

All of your things are tucked as neatly as you can make them in your bag when a knock sounds at the door, the hinges creaking when you hum in assent. You turn your attention to the door, stomach dropping when Gwilym pokes his head in. “Hi,” he says softly. “Can we talk?”

“Funny you should ask,” you retort, a small smile playing on your lips. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. You’ve been dodging me for quite a while now.”

His cheeks flush. “Just a bit.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, still smiling.

There’s a moment of silence between the two of you, where both of you are unable to decide what to say, but he takes a step closer tentatively. You’ve never known Gwilym to be anything less than self-assured, if not a bit pompous, but now his eyes dart nervously around the room. “So, you never answered my question,” he starts. “Did you like the flowers?”

It pushes a wave of warmth over your body, your lips pursing to hide a pleased smirk. “I did. They were lovely.”

“Good, good. That’s…”

“Very good,” you tease. A laugh falls from his lips and he agrees. “Surprising, though. I didn’t expect them from you,” you admit, turning away from him to fidget with the zipper on your bag. Even when he’s nervous, his eye contact is intense enough to make you shiver. You need a break, overwhelmed by both his full attention and the questions still racing through your mind.

“About that,” he says, leaning back against the counter. “I wanted to apologize for the impression I first gave you.”

“Which would be?” Your teasing, for the first time, instead of irritating him, makes him laugh, and you beam at the sound. Never have you heard the laugh sound so genuine and rich, and it warms you from the inside out to have been the cause of it. The smile that crosses your face is involuntary and only seems to make Gwilym grin even wider.

His head drops, a smile still playing on his lips. “I know that I’ve been…” he pauses, searching for a word. “arrogant since we have met.”

“I was going to say excruciating.”

“Of course, you were,” he murmurs, giving you a knowing look. “I was difficult, and rude, and no matter what my feelings, that was wrong of me and I apologize.”

Whether it’s a slip of the tongue or he’s baiting you, you simply don’t care. You aren’t above asking, “And what were your feelings?”

Gwilym pushes himself off the counter to take another tentative step toward you. Quietly, almost as though he’s bashful of his word choice, he quotes, “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire you.”

You can’t help yourself. You giggle quietly and look away from him, your stomach flipping at the compliment. “You are a gigantic dork.”

At that, he laughs too, nodding in agreement. “I suppose so, yes.” Your smile only urges his confession, words spilling from him easily. You get the sense that he’s losing his nerve, and he rushes to get everything out. “Gabby always spoke so highly of you, not just your skill, but your work ethic, your humor, your personality. I had high hopes for you and you did nothing short blow my expectations out of the water. And then I had ruined my chances by being so intolerable to you because I was...I don’t know. I think I was intimidated by you.”

“By me?” The thought makes you swell with pride. Gwilym was certainly one of the more capable men you had worked with, and the knowledge that he had been impressed by you stirred a confidence in you that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Of course,” he confirms. “And then it was a matter of not wanting to ruin the show, and you hated me and I had ruined it all.” Gwilym pushes a deep breath out, seemingly finished with his rant. You can only look at him in surprise and the smallest hint of amusement. Knowing your circumstance, you felt foolish for not considering it before. “I know that I’ve been terrible to you and I have no excuse for that. But I truly admire and adore you, and I hope you’ll accept my apology.”

For a long, dry moment, you’re silent, still soaking in the information. Your very own Mr. Darcy, and you had been so blind to him. “You know, Gwilym…” He stares at you anxiously, awaiting either a reprimanding or a gentle rejection. “I’ve known so many method actors, but never one so truly dedicated to his character.”

Before he can say anything, you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him eagerly. He grins against your lips and wraps his arms around your waist, seemingly unbothered by the clacking of teeth and the tightness with which you hold him. It’s the culmination of months of annoyance, of tension, of attraction you had refused to acknowledge, and deep down, it’s easy to admit that it was worth the wait. You think—if he continues to hold you like this, to kiss you like this, to be so insufferably adorable—well, maybe you can forgive him.

[zalrb]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well. I really enjoy your metas and your fics, and I figured it was time to come off anon lol.

How do you distinguish between wanting characters to be platonic soulmates and shipping them romantically? What’s the dividing line, if that makes sense?

Hey! Hope you're doing well too! And thanks for the ask! I've been trying to approach this question from different angles and I just don't think I'll give a satisfying answer because it's really just that I don't think that traditional romance makes sense for the relationship in question and explaining why that is can be difficult because it's partially about vibes and it's also just a preference, like for me, the dynamic in question works as this intensely personal, spiritual, intimate bond and I just don't care to see them romantically entwined, at least not in a traditional sense.

Some dynamics are easier to dissect, so for something like Jack and Elizabeth, who I know I talk about a lot, I don't know if I would call them soulmates per se, but they're foils, they're thematic counterparts,

and inspire development in one another, and I think that works. I don't think anything would be added to their characters and to their relationship if they delved into romance, it would not make sense for Jack as a character or Elizabeth as a character, but their connection to one another is still narratively significant and should be viewed as such.

So, for everything else it's some kind of version of this.

For The Bear ... Marcus and Syd worked for me as a potential romantic pairing because I saw them as less thematic and more as people who vibe and chill and have fun, it felt like a very human connection where they can goof around on the phone, call each other at night, talk to one another about their days, about what's going on with them, the minutiae of their lives, I got that vibe from them and was therefore disappointed when the show shut down that possibility

Whereas Syd and Carmy, for me, their romance, their intimacy is their craft, their ambition, their passion for cooking, their desire to leave a mark on the culinary world; that is the most important thing to them and they both understand that in a way that no one else does,

it's this spiritual understanding of what being a chef means to them and that works for me as is, I don't think adding a traditionally romantic element to this bond would really do much to deepen it or expand it personally (especially for Syd), to me what would be the true romance for them is blossoming into a functional partnership, helping Syd get that star, going through this journey together, finding the joy in food again together especially since it's related to so many different things for both of them but I don't need them in any other kind of relationship.

And that's how I felt about Miller and Hardy in Broadchurch

[themoodybearquotes]

Don’t try to be unique - Why try to be what you already are?

Don’t try to be special - It’s better to lift everyone up then be ‘better’ than others on your own

If you believe you aren’t interesting- remember, you’re unique and unique is always interesting.

If you don’t think you’re unique, remember, anything you do, nobody else can do it exactly the same as you. Nobody has the same feel, presence or atmosphere to them as you. Nobody can speak the way you do with the same tone, same voice, same words, same context and the same emotions.

Even if you’re doing a job that “anyone can do”, nobody can do the job exactly the way you do it- how you relate to your colleagues, the way you write your reports,how you relate to your clients, what attitude you bring to work and even down to the way you sit in your chair- that is all completely and totally unique to you.

Two butchers cannot butcher an identical product. Similar but always different, unique carve marks left behind.

We all have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, two ears, a face, a neck, a torso and two arms and two legs. That makes it sound like we’re all identical- but you know we are not.

The idea is the same but execution is always unique.

I’m sure somebody has already thought this before- But nobody has ascribed these exact words to the thought. And nobody has spoken these exact words today, in this exact social and cultural context. And good ideas deserve to be heard and shared again and again. Cycling through us, born and reborn again, casting a warm light along those it brushes against.

As Elizabeth Gilbert puts it in her book The Big Magic, all possible story arcs have been explored already but that doesn’t stop people from writing more books exploring the same story arc.

Lastly, if you think you need to be special to matter, that must be really difficult for you.

First of all, that is a lot of demand to put on a simple human need for belonging.

Being thought of as special and feeling like you matter isn’t the same thing. Although to many, including me, it can sometimes feel that way.

Especially if attention was denied to you at an early age, or provided conditionally (e.g. when you behave particularly well or badly), you tend to believe that you need to work hard to deserve to be seen (to matter) - and that can very quickly turn into believing that being significantly better/worse than others is a requirement for feeling like you matter to the people you love.

So what’s the difference between feeling special and feeling like you matter?

When you feel like you matter, people acknowledge and recognise you as belonging to the space. You’re awarded the same respect and priorities as everyone else in the room.

Being special is people considering you to be superior compared to others and awarding you more respect and more priority than others in the room.

For most people, being special is an uncomfortable and I dare say, even a lonely experience at best because you’re excluded from belonging. And belonging, is a fundamental need.

Please remember you’re interesting and unique and you matter and nobody else can be you. It’s been told many times before, and it’ll be told many times again in the future.

So go be the gift you are to the world.

[canyousonicme]

“Certain actors have a reputation for being difficult. I don’t want to be one of those people”. - Alex Kingston


INTERVIEW: The Sunday Post


It comes as no surprise to Alex Kingston that her daughter has decided to follow in her footsteps, despite her best efforts to temper her acting ambitions.

The actress fell pregnant with Salome, now 19, when she was playing surgeon Elizabeth Corday on the long-running US medical drama ER in the ’90s.

Alex’s pregnancy was written into the script and Salome, whose father is German writer Florian Haertel, was just weeks old when she joined the cast as Elizabeth and Dr Mark Greene’s baby girl.

Now, two decades on, mother and daughter are working together again, this time in a Doctor Who spin-off audio drama, The Diary Of River Song. Now in its eighth series, it focuses on the Time Lord’s brilliant wife, the poetically named River Song, whom Alex has played on the TV show since 2008. Salome, meanwhile, plays the part of her synthetic humanoid companion, Rachel.

Alex said: “My daughter was in my belly on ER then played the role of our baby girl Ella Greene. She’s secretly always had the desire to act, but I was always adamant that she finished her education first.

“Salome plays a character who River Song meets up with occasionally and they have adventures together. Working with my daughter has been terrific fun. I am super-impressed with her. She is incredibly professional.”

© Big Finish

Alex with daughter Salome

For the past year Alex and Salome have been isolating together at her London home, alongside Alex’s third husband, television producer Jonathan Stamp. The pair married in an intimate Italian ceremony in 2015, and Salome was a bridesmaid.

They are joined by Alex’s German-born mother, Margarethe, who sadly suffers from dementia. It sounds like a potentially stressful set-up but Alex has cherished the unexpected extra family time lockdown gifted her.

Alex, who celebrated her 57th birthday a few days after the first lockdown was announced last March, said: “My daughter had arrived from New York and decided she wanted to live with us. Then my mother, who has dementia, suffered two strokes early on in lockdown and she moved in as well. So I was her carer.

“It was an amazingly special time. And I cherish it. Particularly with my mother, because I wouldn’t have had that opportunity otherwise.”

Like the rest of us, Alex has relied heavily on streaming services to keep her entertained during the long days spent at home. She even broke her self-imposed rule of not watching her own stuff on screen.

She said: “We did all the usual things, massive clear-outs, and of course binge-watched TV. I loved Schitt’s Creek, Call My Agent, Bridgerton and Luther. I can’t bear to watch myself on the television. However, I started watching ER, because it was streaming on Channel 4. I look at myself and it’s like I am watching someone else. It’s such a good show, and it’s really held up!”

She added: “As much as everyone is saying this is the year that they want to forget, I actually feel it’s a year one can never forget. It certainly wasn’t an easy time. However, I have much stronger memories of the year, and of the patterns of the year than I have ever had pre-pandemic, when there was always so much rushing around.”

© Paul Drinkwater/Warner Bros Tv/Amblin TV

Alex in 1994 with fellow ER cast members (l-r) Anthony Edwards, Eriq La Salle, Goran Visnjic, Noah Wyle

Alex began her career at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, where she met her first husband, Skyfall actor Ralph Fiennes. They were together for 10 years before marrying in 1993. Two years later, Alex was left bereft when Fiennes left her after an alleged affair with a co-star. The London-born actress has barely stopped working since she first appeared on UK screens in 1980, as Jill Harcourt on the iconic children’s series Grange Hill. She continued to find success in UK dramas including Upstairs Downstairs, and The Fortunes And Misfortunes of Moll Flanders.

She first appeared in the fourth series of Doctor Who alongside David Tennant in 2008. Alex thought it was a one-off but has reprised the role in 15 episodes between 2008 and 2015.

It’s thanks to her Doctor Who appearances and, more recently, Sky’s hit supernatural drama, A Discovery Of Witches, that she has become known to a new generation of fans.

During her long and successful career, Alex has never been afraid to call out sexism in the industry. When she was dropped from ER aged 41, after seven seasons, she accused producers of ageism. saying “Apparently, I, according to the producers and the writers, am part of the old fogies who are no longer interesting.”

Then, when she auditioned for the role of Lynette Scavo on Desperate Housewives which eventually went to Felicity Huffman, she says she was turned away for being too curvy.

Although vocal about the challenges that face women, she admits she has seen positive changes in attitudes towards female talent in recent years.

She says: “When I was working on ER, I thought that I wasn’t allowed to get pregnant, I didn’t want to offend the producers as that is not what they had intended. I thought that I would have to ask permission. It was Anthony Edwards, who played my on-screen husband, who said ‘Don’t be ridiculous, don’t wait for them to allow you, you are not that important. If you want to have a child, go and have a child, and they will find a way to work round you.’ So I took his advice.

“I grew up with this notion that one had to be polite and always ask for permission. Whereas this generation don’t. They just get up and do it. The lovely and talented Teresa Palmer, whom I work with on A Discovery of Witches, is constantly popping out babies. Production just work around her. And it’s great, I admire her very much for that.”

© Chris Haston/Warner Bros Tv/Amblin TV

Alex in ER

Alex puts her staying power down to being in the right place at the right time – and being nice to people, though she says theatre will provide her with a safety net should the TV work dry up one day.

She said: “Being as versatile as possible helps. I’m up for anything as long it is written well.

“I had a formal training. My first love is theatre. Having that as a backbone will always support me. In an industry that will favour youth more, theatre is always there. In order to succeed on the stage you have to have had good solid training and know how to handle your voice.

“Also, being a nice person counts for a lot. If you were difficult you would get a reputation. Of course there are actors who are extremely difficult and tiresome to work with, and there will come a point at which you think is it worth it? I don’t want to be one of those people.”

Despite her time-travelling credentials Alex has no idea what the future holds but still harbours a dream of being a Bond Girl (though obviously not one who falls for the smooth-talking spy).

She laughs: “I would love to be a villain in a James Bond movie, the real villain, the main one. Because they’ve never had a female villain. And I want to be a villain who does not find James Bond sexy at all. And doesn’t succumb to his charms, I want to be his real nemesis.”

Time for a return to Tardis?

© PA / BBC

Alex alongside Peter Capaldi in Doctor Who

From ER to the Tardis, Alex’s career to date has been distinguished by roles opposite fictional doctors, whether medical or time-travelling.

The smash-hit hospital drama which made her a star in the ’90s famously launched the Hollywood career of a certain George Clooney. Then in 2008, Alex won a new generation of fans as the wife of Doctor Who.

Because the Doctor transmutates over time Alex, as River Song, gets several leading men for the price of one. Alex said: “Essentially my character is the same, so there’s continuity there, and the fun is interacting with someone who is essentially the same man, but in a different skin and with a different energy.”

Perhaps the least lucky man in the role was Matt Smith.

Alex explained: “One of the most memorable parts of filming was when I flew through the universe, got caught in the Tardis and kneed Matt Smith, who was playing the Doctor at the time, in a sore place by mistake. There were a few tears of laughter from me and cries of pain from him.”

Speculation is rife among fans that Alex will return to the Whoniverse, if the incumbent Time Lord Jodie Whittaker steps down. All Alex will say is: “My Tardis door is always open…” [x]