#but this time i was procrastinating all during the day and spending up all my possible time doing nothing

[getosugurusbangs]

a warm summer’s breeze

[airenyah]

love sitting in front of assignments until 1:30 in the morning

[covenofagatha]

Psychology Prof!Agatha

I literally can't get this out of my head so wanted to share some thoughts with you all (this also might be super nerdy but I'm obsessed)

Every time you call her mommy and spend hours sucking at her nipples and eating her out (she IS your oral fixation), she tells you that Freud would be rolling in his grave (except it turns her on just as much, if not even more, so what would he say about that?)

When you go for help during office hours for some clarification on projection tests, she shows you cards from the Rorschach Inkblot Test and asks what you see. All you see are vaginas and she proclaims that you must be horny, leading her to fuck you on her desk and then makes you try again. Little do you know, those are her own custom cards that she purposefully made look like that just so she'd have an excuse to fuck you.

When you get to the Behaviorism unit, you're struggling with the types of conditioning.

To demonstrate classical conditioning, she first rubs your clit (unconditioned stimulus) until you get wet (unconditioned response). She then sprays a new perfume (neutral stimulus) over herself and then does the same thing, teasing you until you get wet before fucking you. She repeats it a few times over the next few days, using the same perfume each time. It isn't until a week later in class, when you have a question about the worksheet that you're doing and she bends down over you to look at the paper over her shoulder, that you catch a whiff of her perfume (now the conditioned stimulus). The same perfume she wore before she fucked you each time this past week. Before you even realize it, you're wet and aching and practically dripping onto the seat, suddenly feeling so empty (conditioned response). She chuckles in your ear and you spend the rest of class absolutely dying.

For operant conditioning, you're confused with positive and negative reinforcement, and positive and negative punishment, so she decides to give you another hands-on lesson.

For positive reinforcement, the addition of a positive stimulus to reinforce a behavior, she gives you one orgasm for each hour of studying you do for her test. It's no time at all before you're spending practically the entire day with your nose in the textbook, just so she'll touch you. When you get a one-hundred on her next test, she lets you choose one thing to do with her as a reward, which only makes you want to get more perfect scores on her test (you choose to fuck her with a strap and she now also wants you to keep getting perfect scores)

For negative reinforcement, the removal of a negative stimulus to reinforce a behavior, you've been procrastinating on the research project she gave the class and whining about how much work it is. Agatha is completely fed up with the way you've been acting and is annoyed that you won't just do the work, so she tells you that she won't let you cum until you finish it, but she's going to tease you endlessly. The edging is torture so you quickly get it all done before she finally lets you orgasm.

For positive punishment, the addition of an undesired stimulus to curb a behavior, she bends you over mommy's knee and spanks you hard for skipping out on studying to go a party with your friends. Safe to say when you try to sit down the next day and end up almost crying out, you learn your lesson

For negative punishment, the removal of a positive stimulus to curb a behavior, she waits until you've been bratty, after you've been teasing her in class the whole time, giving her fuck-me eyes and crossing and uncrossing your legs to give her a sneak peek of your naked cunt under your skirt. When she's finally able to get her hands on you, she bends you over her desk and fucks you hard and rough and right as you're about to cum, right as you're begging please mommy, she stops and doesn't let you. Your least favorite style of operant conditioning quickly becomes negative punishment but you don't try to tease her in class again.

You understand Behaviorism a lot better now.

[lovebvni]

you and your s/o!

i’ve been sitting on this suggestion by @nyxtheghostshifting for way too long and i apologize. thank you for the submission! and i really just… i need to sit down and do this pac. i’ve missed this.

do not take this pac as something you have to do. you decide your future and all you do in your lives. i will not be upset if you don’t do this. this is all written by me in most likely a few hours so i apologize for any spelling errors.

now, that we got all the boring stuff out the way, take a deep breath and pick a pile.

[1, 2, 3]

pile 1, red hair

you and your s/o seem like the type to be sort of quiet and reserved. perhaps only one of you, but either way, one of you want to keep to yourself and struggle to be vulnerable with the other.

one of the scenario i’m getting is one of you saying “fuck off”, presumably because you wanted to be alone, but that’s not the true way you felt. you want to be with them. they want to be with you. but they feel as if they can’t. as if they aren’t good enough for you. i’m also getting wlw vibes? the “oil and water” scene from arcane keeps coming to mind. the person wants you to be successful and walks away because they feel like the hinder that. do you guys like angst? i feel like some of you may have scripted a temporary break up. there’s a lot of passion here though. it seems like you both truly want each other. flowers are also important here. golds and pinks.

i feel like they’re very possessive of you. they always want to be around you but they also want to display you. almost like a trophy wife/husband. they feel like you’re a reward, no, a blessing. again with flowers, golds and pinks. they felt lost without you. “you’re their sunshine”. they love talking about you, complimenting you to their friends, just letting them know everything you do is “perfect”. they see you as perfection.

they see a future with you. they want to do everything with you. they move in harmony with you. they match your energy a lot. they may not be the most outgoing but they will be for you. “anything for you.” guys they’re so sappy and cute. my autocorrect tried to correct that to sapphic so i do see wlw !

pile 2, swimming upwards

you guys cuddle a lot. on the couch, in your bed, at a friends house, your bodies are always tangled together. take that as you will. i get kinda black cat energy from both of you? you guys procrastinate together. you spend so much time together, that what needs to be done rarely does get done. perhaps you and this person should shift to a wr together or somewhere time doesn’t pass. that would be beneficial. you really get lost in each others energy, and it is so sweet. i honestly think you guys ground each other in a way, and tune out the world and make it “your own happy place.” especially if it wasn’t like that at first, before you two knew each other — but honestly you guys could’ve been childhood friends trying to support each other through thick and thin.

i don’t think there’s much room for polyamory here, not that there is in another pile, but i’m definitely getting like you two will not let anyone get between you. it’s kind of a joint at the hip relationship? you guys honestly worship each other and want to be better for each other.

you’re willing to sacrifice anything for each other. four of pentacles and ten of cups came out together. you guys may have children one day? i heard “across many lives.” this is honestly so sweet and innocent. are there issues wrapped up in that? yes, but everyone has that. i saw two people stepping across stones on a river. one takes the first leap, the other follows, and then takes the lead. you’re always encouraging each other to grow. keep doing that. it’s so sweet.

pile 3, pink dress

a wish come true. one of you guys wished for this connection. it’s other worldly. you wished on a star, threw a coil in a well, prayed, whatever. there manifestation in this. you both wished on this during similar points, similar times of struggle, then meet each other at the perfect time.

i can’t even lie, the way these cards came out is insane. the well came out, then ten of swords reversed on the bottom, ace of swords reversed on the top, then knight of swords and six of wands. it’s like you guys had both been wishing for this, fell into hardship at the same time, then, obviously, came together at the perfect time. you guys compliment each other perfectly and it’s super duper interesting. i’m wondering if this is a divine connection. i really think it is! but again, i don’t like putting that thought in peoples minds. you can use your discretion to figure that out

[cherryheairt]

Curiosity

this fic has been on my mind since Tighnari's release. Years of procrastination led to this moment (a small ficlet)

Tighnari xf!reader

Tighnari was used to new forest watcher recruits being the absolute bane of his existence for their first weeks of training.

“Master Tighnari, Hino got stuck in a mud pit again!”

“Master Tighnari, is this species of mushroom safe to eat? I got hungry on my way back up the trail.”

“Master Tighnari! The recruits got caught in a Withering Zone!”

Most of them didn't bother listening to his very vital survival lessons—nor did they spend time reading over his personally made written guide for any unanswered questions they may have.

Every day after a new group of them came, it was up to him and the senior rangers to keep them from dying out in the depths of the forest. He had been successful thus far, in his three years of being the Forest Watcher, and certainly didn't plan on letting his streak break any time soon.

Even if it meant rehashing the field guide a hundred-and-one times.

He was an impatient teacher, perhaps, and a little snarky he would admit, but a diligent one nonetheless.

This semester had brought a gaggle of bright-eyed Amurta students who were looking for a thesis topic or a permanent placement amongst the forest watchers. There were only four of them, a relatively easy number to keep track of while still keeping up with his main duties.

One in particular had caught his eye. Not for any particular reason—except for the fact that she had a habit of staring. At him.

Why? He could only assume it was the very same reason that all the new recruits stared at him.

His ears and tail.

He'd long grown used to the gawking and whispers. He was born with them and quite proud of his heritage, even if it meant living away from the bustle of Sumeru City and Port Ormos and planting his roots in the much quieter Gandharva Ville. Everyone he met had at least glanced at them a few times, or even asked about his sensitivity in the forest. He'd only conceded and briefly touched on how his animalistic features only aided his forest watcher duties, and that it was the city that bothered him. After a few days, people adjusted to his unique looks and moved on from their curious stares.

But not her.

At this point, after three weeks of patrols, classes, and research groups, Tighnari had just about had it with her incessant staring. It was definitely considered rude at this point, and he had begun to wonder if she was one of those traditional folk who was prejudiced against avatism and refused to acknowledge his position as an instructor.

He'd encountered plenty of those type during his time in Amurta—mostly from the old sages who believed that animal-featured humans were either a distraction to their peers or too primal to learn like them. He proved them all wrong easily.

To see a younger person have the same views was disappointing. Though, her intellect and diligence with his lessons and the fact that she hadn't caused any trouble thus far had saved her from a stern talking-to.

It was during their one-on-one morning patrol that he decided he must confront the problem head on.

He wasn't going to, truly. Hadn't planned on it. But when he turned from his notepad and noticed her gaze already locked on him—or his head, he should say—he couldn't help but immediately ask:

“Is something wrong?” With his arms crossed over his chest and an exasperated sigh.

She flinched like he had slapped her across her face. “Ah—” She stammered. “What do you mean?”

“You've been staring at me since you came to Gandharva Ville. If you have something to ask, then just ask.” His words were sharp.

She had the gall to look embarrassed. For the first time, he saw only the side of her face as she avoided his own pointed stare.

“If this is about my ears—” He was cut off abruptly.

“Is your hair naturally green at the front?”

He was left to be the one gawking at her, completely speechless. His hair? No one had noticed his hair when there were two giant pointed ears sticking out of it at all times.

After a minute of tense silence, he finally swallowed and, almost meekly, asked: “Excuse me?”

“I'm sorry, that's a rude question isn't it?” She panicked at her own supposed lack of propriety. “I shouldn't have stared, but it just kept catching my eye.”

Now, it was his silent stare that made her shift in place and warily squint back at his wide-eyed expression. He wasn't known for being shocked, if anything he prided himself on his steady composure. Clearing his throat, Tighnari tentatively spoke, “It's natural. From my mother’s side, I suppose.”

She lit up again, relieved at his straight forward answer and likely the silence being broken. “Really?” He cringed slightly when she leaned forward, not used to his personal bubble being broken so easily. Her demeanor shifted in a mere moment without warning. “Only a few front strands manage to be a completely different color from the rest of the hair. . .” She brought a hand to her mouth, observing him like he observed an invasive (yet intriguing) fauna or fungus.

She continued breathlessly, paying no mind to his bemused face. “I would assume Canities subita, if only it wasn't green. Vitiligo, maybe? Do you have any other patches—”

“Okay, I think that's quite enough.” He cleared his throat again, only this time to distract from his increasingly red face and not the awkward silence. He much prefered the intense staring than the barrage of questioning from his own temporary student. “There's no extraordinary condition that made it this way, it's just my hair. Can we agree to leave it at that?” Putting on his stern instructor voice, he cleared the very obvious question she was implying from both of their minds.

“Oh—” She chimed, like she didn't realize her own curiosity was invasive. “Of course, Master Tighnari.” She grabbed her bag from its hanging position on the crook of her elbow and fixed it upon her shoulder again.

“Good.” He sighed slightly, moving ahead to continue the patrol.

Hearing her behind him, following his every step along the hilly terrain, he spoke over his shoulder. “If you keep that same inquisitiveness for the topic of your thesis, I have no doubt that you'll pass with flying colors.”

The ring of her laughter surprised him, and he was glad that she was longer in view to see his face. “I'll keep that in mind, Master Tighnari.”

[cottonlemonade]

Brushing Your Stress Away

word count: 1321 || avg. reading time: 6 mins.

pairing: University AU!Tsukishima x chubby!Reader

genre: spice with fluff

warnings: mdni

request: Hello!! can me and my dear Tsukki get an 11 and 23 for lunch before i procrastinate? || fluffy-spicy, dealing with exam stress + studying together with boyfriend Tsukishima

Tsukishima didn’t even flinch when the pen zoomed past his head, bounced off the wall, and landed perfectly in his hamper. Without looking up from his notes, he asked, “Tough chapter?”

You groaned and let yourself fall on your back, arms and legs outspread like a starfish, “I wanted to study art because I love painting, not because I love remembering dates! This is impossible!”

You dramatically flung an arm over your eyes to drive your point home that you were done with studying.

“Come on, only 32 more minutes on the timer.”, your boyfriend said, turning a page and pushing your art history book closer to you.

“No.”, you pouted, wiggling a foot in defiance, “Don’t wanna.”

“So, you plan on working in a museum as… what? A barista?”

Letting your arm fall off your face, you turned your head to look at him, “You could come visit me during your breaks.”

“Not likely. Coffee is disgusting.”

“Not the point, Kei.”

“Resign to your fate or study for another 31 minutes. Either way, stop whining. Some of us want to focus.”

You sat back up, squinting indignantly at your boyfriend, who skillfully ignored you as his eyes skimmed the pages.

Letting out a small huff of boredom, you looked around his bedroom. When he invited you to come spend the break with him in Miyagi you were excited, even more so when on the drive here he casually mentioned that you’d be alone because his older brother was staying at uni with his friends and his mother was away on some conference. But four days of your precious week had already passed without so much as a roaming hand.

On a whim, you reached for your pencil case to take out a cheap replica of an old artist’s brush - a small gift from the souvenir shop Kei had gotten you the last time you visited a museum together. Turning it in your fingers to have something to do, you stared at the page of your book, admiring the pictures at least.

Kei meanwhile, chewed the inside of his cheek, throwing a quick glance over his glasses at you. He knew he wasn’t doing a particularly great job as a boyfriend right now.

To not make it too obvious what he was looking forward to the most during this week together - uninterrupted alone time with no nosy roommate to worry about or forgetting his key and having to spend the rest of his night on a bench in front of his building - he had put together quite the itinerary under the guise of how much you’ve nagged him to show you his hometown (you asked once). Somehow, being in his childhood home after the months away at university made him almost shy. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought he felt guilty for bringing you here without telling his mother. However, if his shower thoughts were any indication, he wanted nothing more than to make use of the empty house with you - not seeming too eager, of course. He flipped a page without having read the previous one. Unless he finally acted on his impulses, you would return to academic life without even a good solid make-out session at this point.

A soft caressing sensation on his arm made him snap out of his thoughts. He found you running your brush along a faint vein on his wrist.

“What are you doing?”, he asked unnecessarily but didn’t pull away.

“Nothing.”

The smooth bristles followed his long fingers now one by one.

Without any conviction, he said instinctively, “Stop that.”, whilst really hoping you wouldn’t.

Luckily, you never listened to him, so instead you brought the brush up to his neck and tickled the sensitive spot under his ear. He shuddered and you laughed.

“You think this is funny?”, he asked.

“Hilarious, actually.”, you said.

He got to his knees and all too easily made you tumble backward, making sure to catch your head in his hand before towering over you. With a superior sneer, he took the brush from you.

“Let’s see how ticklish you are.”

Trapped between his long legs, you giggled and squirmed when he ran the brush under your chin, and you ducked your head between your shoulders to defend yourself. So he brought it to your ear.

“Stop!”

Your hand shot up to cover one side, but he just took this to mean he could attack the other. He sat back on his heels and in an attempt to hide the outline in his sweats, pursed his lips in fake pondering.

“Hmm… looks like you leave me no choice.”, he shrugged with a heavy sigh and unceremoniously lifted the hem of your shirt, making extra sure his palm, rough from the years of playing volleyball, dragged gently over your pillowy tummy as he did. You became very still, waiting for his next move. He felt you pressing your thighs together between his legs and scoffed while painting invisible lines on your skin as if he were sketching the outline of your bra.

“This is very much in the way.”, he said more to himself than to you and pulled a cup down from your breast. He leaned forward now, his free hand holding him up next to your head and with precise little teasing strokes he flicked the brush over your perked nipple. You made a small noise, one he loved to hear so much, so he did it again, and again.

“Pretty sure the other one is just as sensitive.”, he murmured and without warning, he pulled down the second cup, tucking it safely under your breast, then got the brush into position. You bucked your hips under him when he twirled the bristles this time.

“You’re right, this is fun.”, he noted and kissed you, not letting up on the teasing with the brush. You ground against him, making him gasp into the kiss.

“Will you finally focus on your studies if I give you what you want?” He had trouble catching his breath, was met with a very enthusiastic nod, and kissed you again.

Kei moved back, slowly dragging your sweats down with him, and had to suppress a dreamy groan. You were nothing short of perfection. With the pudgy tummy, the generous love handles, and full thighs you had always reminded him of beauty depicted in Renaissance paintings.

He shifted to lay on his stomach, propped up on his forearms, spinning the brush in his long fingers. A little spring of pride bloomed in him when he noticed a wet patch on your panties already.

The more he dragged the brush over the soaked fabric the more he noticed a definite gleam on the bristles. With the very tip of it, he focused on the pronounced little nub of your clit and was rewarded with a high moan. He was curious if he’d be able to make you cum just with a simple little painter’s brush when the door to his room slid open.

“WOAH!”

Akiteru spun around to look away.

“Sorry! I just heard a noise and - don’t mind me.”

“Why aren’t you in Tokyo?!”, Kei yelled in frustration, scrambling to his feet. A low rustling behind him told him you followed his example.

“Needed some fresh air?” His brother shrugged awkwardly, still with his back to him. “I’ll uhm… I’ll head to the convenience store. Should take me maybe 20 minutes. Do with that information what you will.”

He grabbed around behind him to find the handle before pulling the door closed again, then called from the hallway, “I’ll bring you some snacks!”

Kei exhaled, rubbing his eyes under his glasses, “I’m sorry… y/n, I- mfpg”, he was interrupted by you turning his head and yanking him down to you by the collar of his shirt to kiss him.

“You heard him, 20 minutes. Let’s go.”

a/n: reader was on mission! Thank you to the anon who requested this prompt! I hope you enjoyed it 🌟

[agirlwithglam]

📑📚 ACE YOUR EXAMS 📚📑

This is a guide for people who have exams coming up. It consists of what to do if you want 100% on your upcoming exams, study tips, and more!

Study tips:

Check this masterlist by @merakinotes and also this post+ masterlist by @areistotle it has everything you’ll ever need.

Bank of questions / past papers study method: you can create your own questions on Quizlet or any online quiz maker or use past papers/ revision resources.

Study everyday. If your exam is even a month away, that’s good because it means you don’t have to study hours everyday, but you can at least keep a goal to study 30 mins a day or to learn/ understand/ memorise a new thing part of that topic every day.

Feynman technique. Basically pretend as if you’re the teacher and teach the topic to someone/ something (ex a stuffed animal)

Record yourself talking. When you’re revising, record yourself talking about some of the stuff so you can listen to it later when you’re unable to study.

Visual learning!! Personally, I love this one. If you’re studying something like science, history, etc, then draw pictures! Draw pictures to better help you understand a word/ concept. (Example: in science I couldn’t remember the whole definition of combustion so I just drew a stickman image of the atom and the oxygen and then those 2 chemically combined)

During the exam:

Never turn the exam in early!! Are you finished? Then re read the exam and re take the exam. Double check, triple check etc your answers. Keep looking through your answers again and again, step by step. Only give the test in at the very end.

Watch the clock! Don’t spend lots of time on one question trying to figure it out. Look at the time and make sure you still have enough to complete all the questions and maybe also recheck them.

If you don’t completely understand a question/ it’s more complicated: skip it and go to the next question. Come back to that harder question later.

Manifesting:

Remember: the 100/100 grade is already yours. You just need to claim it!

Affirmations: you can create your own set of customised affirmations or you can use THIS affirmation list that I made for high grades

Subliminal: I’ve made a playlist on YouTube with all my favourite academic subliminals. You can also search up 100/100 grades or full marks in tests subliminals.

More resources:

(These are just to further help you if these tips do not help. Remember that watching videos or reading about studying/ study tips is not studying. It’s procrastinating. Consume these in moderation.)

Studying tips for a straight A student by @universalitgirlsblog2

How to study like: 👙Elle Woods👙 | 📔Paris Geller📔 | 📖Hermione Granger📖

Study to success on YouTube

Jun Yuh oh YouTube

Fayefilms on YouTube

[dixonsbugaboo]

𝑆𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠.

ꜱᴛᴀɴʟᴇʏ ꜱɴʏᴅᴇʀ🚬

GN!Reader

Summary: You are alone at night, and your worst thoughts take over you. When will your boyfriend come back to you?

Warnings: depressive thoughts, swearing, a little bit of angst if you read between lines

Word count: 1200+

A/N: This is my first ever Dr Stone fic (-人-) I doubt I have done Stanley justice, but I really hope he is not much OOC. I think this might be a kind of approach to writing more for this fandom, as I just enjoyed a lot writing this. It's kinda based on some thoughts that come to me from time to time, and I want to dedicate it to all people with depression that struggle specially during night. Hope you like it and hope to see you soon here with more content!

︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿

You cannot sleep at all. 

In the middle of the night, everything looks different. 

Sitting in front of the window you watch it rain, and think about the things you should be doing instead of procrastinating. But is it really your fault? When it's also in the middle of the night when you feel the saddest, and when you realise how lonely you are when he's not around.

He.

Stanley Snyder.

The man who stole your heart and for whom you yearn every day.

You prop your feet up on the chair and hug your legs, remembering how easy it all seems when he's home with you.

It's been two months since he had to leave for duty. That's definitely the worst thing about having feelings for him: his job; his job and all the time he had to spend away, and his absence, and the loneliness... Sometimes you imagine that in reality his time is a constant competition between you, and his job, and that you're always losing. And in the middle of the night, you are even more sure that he would choose his job over you.

Sometimes you even think he'd choose Xeno over you, if he had to pick.

Xeno was in his life first, Xeno knows him better… 

You sigh and slap your cheeks.

No.

You can't keep thinking like that. That's not who you are. 

Stanley has been showing you how he feels about you for years. He's been showing you how he feels about you for a long time, so now you shouldn't think those terrible pessimistic things that are nothing but lies. That’s the thing you do most to yourself when you are alone awake in the middle of the night: lie to yourself. Harm your self-steem. Make sure that you are nothing but a pity soul awake and alive.

But you have to stop. You have to be okay; both for him, and for you too.

It's going to be alright.

You keep saying it over and over again. But in the middle of the night, everything looks different. And you cannot sleep at all.

¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸

Stanley is tired of being away from you. He's tired of the mission he's been given, tired of the rain, and tired of the fact that even though he knows he'll finally be home today, you'll be asleep by the time he gets home. 

Two and a half months without you have felt like years without water, like an eternity of torture, and imagining you waiting for him in your shared flat, alone, makes his heart pound.

He still doesn't understand what he's done to deserve you. To deserve all the love you always show him, even though he knows he has to be away due to his job.

He is observant, and he also knows the pain you suffer when he is away. He knows that even though you are the kindest person he knows, your inner demons eat you alive when you are alone. He knows that you are the best at giving advice to the people who are going through hard times, but that same advice never applies to you. 

Maybe you get tired of him. Of waiting for him. 

Maybe, while he’s away, you found another.

Maybe you change your mind.

Maybe you decide that the depression created by his absence can be cured by rooting out the problem: leaving him for good.

It is your right, isn’t it? It's your choice, and yours only.

But If he had to choose… If he had the opportunity to turn back time and change things… To decide not to start a relationship with you, to grow apart from you, not to hurt both of you… he wouldn’t change shit. He would still choose you over everything. 

You.

Bold enough not to shrink from him, to tell him exactly what you thought to his face, and to show yourself in your moments of weakness. You showed that you were more than a pretty face, but also a clever and funny person, someone caring, honest and unique. How could he not fall head over heels for you, huh?

He is tired, really tired.

He takes a cigarette out of his jacket pocket and lights it up.

It's three in the morning. It's the witching hour. The only sound that accompanies him as he arrives at the door of your shared home is his own footsteps. He takes out his keys and just as he is about to slide them into the lock, the door bursts open.

You.

In your pyjamas (his, actually), with your hair all messed up and your eyes full of tears and longing. With that pretty face he is incapable of stopping reminiscing in his hardest times. 

You.

Stanley doesn't have time to react in surprise when you're already in his arms, face buried in his chest, snot and tears all over his jacket.

“I've missed you too, doll.”

¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸

You cannot sleep at all. 

In the middle of the night, everything looks different. 

Sitting in front of the window you watch it rain, and think about the things you should be doing instead of procrastinating. But this time, you're not alone. 

Stanley approaches you with a steaming cup of tea and a tender smile spread on his lips. 

He knows you can't sleep, so he'll at least try to help you relax.

He sets the cup down on the table and puts his arms around you to pull you up and sit on his lap.

“I forgot how it was having you home”

He does not answer but hugs you tighter instead. 

Stanley recognises he is not the best with words. He just prefers to show you with actions. 

He knows by the dark marks under your eyes that you haven’t been well during his absence. He is aware of your depressive thoughts, of your manners and your self-deprevice way of going on. But he also knows that you are doing your best, working everyday on fighting your demons.

Stanley takes one of your hands and brings it to his lips. His other hand rests on your waist, in a place that seems made for his hand and his hand only.

You lean to his touch, to his love.

Oh, how much you have missed him…

You missed his smell, like smoke and metal. You missed the sound of his voice, rough but sweet. You missed his touch, his kisses and his presence.

You are so bad over Stanley Snyder that you thought to yourself that now that you know him, you weren’t sure how to live without him.

He massages your shoulders, strokes your hair, kisses your temple…

It's his way of showing you how much he loves you, and to make sure that you know that you are not alone.

Making up for lost time, even if it's in the middle of the night.

“Stan,” you call, leaning your head on his shoulder, “it's late. Let's go to bed.”

He smiles. 

How could he possibly say no to you?

In the middle of the night, everything looks different. Lying in bed, you let Stanley wrap his arms around your waist and press your back against his chest. You're where you want to be.

You feel loved. You feel complete.

And you can finally sleep peacefully.

︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿

A/N: I'm not sure what to think of this... It's been years since the last time I've writen something, I feel this one kinda personal, to be honest. BUT I have soooo many ideas and projects in mind... I hope you liked it! ( ’ω’ )

See you soon,

Nun🐇​

[1withestars]

🛸⋆☆˚.⋆ nct dream as high school students

sophomore year!dream

mark

the guy that sits in the middle of the class like middle middle

very chill (chill guy epitome)

turns in all his assignments mostly on time and gets A’s on all of them

BUSYYY he’s part of the student council (may or may not be president OR vp)

stays until school’s closing time; he’s either in his class or in the library

his desk is organized

listens to music 24/7 (headphones in allllll the time)

part of the basketball club but doesn’t compete (he’s too busy man)

everyone’s crush…

pen spins pen spins pen spins

renjun

spends his free time in the art room

sits closest to the door

is also part of the student council

his desk is messy but like the kind of full of books and stationary messy

fashion icon, best dressed

makes origami creations in class

he doesn’t really like wearing his glasses or contacts so he’s just squinting throughout lessons

falls asleep at his desk while working in the middle of the night

theatre kid (non-derogatory)

big ass water bottle he brings everyday and fills it in 2 period intervals

jeno

sits beside the wall in the middle-back-ish row

very smart jock

brings a quite large backpack but the only things in there are his laptop, some crumpled up assignments, his water bottle, gum, a single pen, and probably his airpods

stays up at night playing games so always end up being sleepy throughout the next day

sleeps in class and probably has a hoodie to use as a pillow

games in class on his phone

is always on his device whether it’s for taking notes or not

perfect scores in pe

hates the school lunch so he orders delivery food almost everyday. every other day, he doesn’t eat

comes late to school when he doesn’t feel like it

haechan

very popular but sorta annoying in a good way

flirts with everyone, especially with the guys

sits next to mark to annoy him

has a mountain of overdue assignments of subjects he doesn’t like and then (forcefully) speeds run those assignments before the teachers finalise the report card scores

is in the dance team

is also part of the school band

codes and learns coding for fun

most probably has beef with the most random people ever

always has snacks in hand and shares with the class

plays dti during breaks

jaemin

procrastinates but still gets his work done (does his work 30 mins before deadline)

dgaf but get straight a’s in each subject

very back, very corner

surprisingly outgoing despite his idgaf front

low profile and no one can seem to find his socials but the people who sees him irl fawns over him (he's so pretty omg)

at least a cup or two of coffee a day

spaces out a lot

airpods in during lecture, doesn’t bother covering it up though

eats in class

goes to the gym after school

chenle

in the basketball team

best friends with all his teachers

sits super close to the teacher’s desk

he’s probably in the music room playing the piano after school

submits assignments on time

bounces his leg at any given time

fidgets fidgets fidgets

either walks or rides his bicycle to school

hangs in the basketball court after school

never late to school

jisung

wears hoodies all the time even if it’s hot

sits at the back in the middle

also sleeps in class

is also in the dance team, he’s even assistant captain

asks chenle for help with his assignments

talks to himself quietly

holds his pencil/pen rather uniquely 

cannot sit still so he’s most definitely fidgeting or doing something during lectures

quiet™

his mom packs his lunches

back w another hc!! i love writing headcanons :)) if you've noticed any changes from my last post that i edited probably like 1000 times, i learned how to do the gradient text thing and im obsessed w it. have a great rest of your dayyyy (interactions are greatly appreciated!)

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

Family Gathering with Fernando Alonso

❃ FLUFFCEMBER 2024 ❃

day 05: family gathering — fernando alonso x reader

note: anticipated this one because yes i adored the concept (i absolutely do not fantasize about introducing nando as my bf to my family like who would ever do that !!)

fluffcember masterlist | main masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You and Fernando walked hand in hand to your old house’s door. The time eventually came: Christmas, the day you’ll be finally introducing your fiancée to your family.

You couldn’t help spending weeks being worried about it. Fernando was the best man you’ve ever met, but your age difference was very clear, and you feared your parents’ judgment. You procrastinated as long as you could, but they insisted to invite the two of you to celebrate together and you knew you couldn’t say no anymore.

Fernando sensed your worries by the squeeze of your hand in his. “Querida, don’t be anxious. I’m sure we’ll spend a wonderful day.” His hazel eyes, full of endearment, found yours.

His words reassured you just enough to make you woman up and rang the doorbell.

Your sister opened the door. She greeted you and let you in, but you didn’t miss her pupils widening imperceptibly when they lay on your new boyfriend. When he walked past her to get in, she turned to you and winked. “Well done sis.” She mouthed in your direction, careful not to be seen by Fernando.

You smirked, amused by her reaction.

In the living room, your parents were chatting while your brother was playing a videogame. They all turned around when you walked in. “Hello.”

“Here’s the new couple!” Your mom exclaimed, and wrapped you in a hug. “We missed you, Y/N.” The same did your dad.

Your mom gaze shifted on Fernando. He extended his hand. “I’m Fernando, a pleasure to meet you.”

Her expression was illegible. She shook his hand. “Hello Fernando, nice to meet you too. It’s so good to know our daughter finally found someone who can put up with her attitude.”

You blushed a little, shaking your head in embarrassment.

“Yeah, enough to keep up with mine.” He smiled in your direction. Could you ever have wished for a better boyfriend?

Your dad’s face betrayed his thoughts, but he too shook firmly his hand without a second thought. “Welcome in the family.” You couldn’t blame him, seeing his daughter with an older man must be a lot.

“Wait– that’s Fernando Alonso!” The voice of your brother interrupted the introductions. He jumped over the couch and reached you. “Oh my god, you’re in a relationship with a Formula 1 World Champion!” Your parents looked confused, then seemed to realize that just now. “How much do you make a year?”

“Y/B/N!” Scolded him your mom, casting him a bad look. “That’s not a question to ask!”

Fernando laughed. “Don’t worry.” He looked at the tv and noticed his videogame. “Are you playing Gran Turismo?”

“Yeah, but I’m stuck at this level.”

“Want a help?”

Your brother’s smile now was larger than ever. “Please!”

And that’s how your boyfriend, your dad and your brother all ran to the couch.

Your mon chuckled at the sight. “Alright then, we’re going to help grandma in the kitchen, if you boys don’t mind.”

Lunch was almost ready, you and your mom were finishing preparing the appetisers. “So… do you love him?”

The question took you aback. “I…” You thought about Fernando’s laugh, about the his gentleness, about the way he made you feel. Your lips curved in a dreamy smile. “Yes, I do.”

“And does he love you?”

Does he love me?

In your mind flashed suddenly all the times he had to run away for work during the week, and about the red rose he left in your house every time, to make you feel his presence, even in his absence. Every single time. And as soon as he was back, he was at your door, with a bouquet of roses, ready to take you out on a date. “He does.”

Your mother seemed satisfied with the answer. “Perfect. That’s all that matters.” She caressed your hair and placed a kiss on your head. “He looks like a nice guy.” She took the plate with the appetisers and headed to the dining room, before turning to you one last time. “And very handsome indeed.”

You rolled your eyes, grinning. “Mom!”

Lunch went wonderfully, to your surprise. You had fun, telling stories and making jokes (which some were about you, of course). Your grandma kept saying how charming Fernando was and how lucky he was to meet a girl like you, making you awkwardly flush from time to time. Even your dad was getting along well with him.

When you and Fernando left, driving back home, he couldn’t stop talking about how cool your family was.

“I’m so happy everything went well.” You said, landing a hand on his thigh and affectionately smiling at him.

“Told you, querida. How could they not like me?”

You chuckled. “Right.” You paused, thoughtful. “This is probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had.” Because of you, you implied. “Thank you, Nando.”

You reached a red light. He turned towards you. “No, thank to you.” He closed the distance between the two of you and kissed you deeply. Your hand on his thigh stroked it slowly.

He broke the kiss when the traffic light turned green. “You know, I loved your parents’ house, but right now I really want to go back to ours.”

[brodygold]

Liquid GOLD

Journal of Todd Halpern Spring Semester, 2025

January 15

First day of the drug trial. I’m feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. This is my shot at making some easy money. The trial is for a drug called Liquid GOLD. Dr. Ellison, the lead scientist on the project, explained that it’s designed to boost energy, focus, and overall well-being. They’re really hyping it up as some revolutionary formula. Honestly, I don’t care about any of that—I just need the $1,500 stipend to help with tuition.

The instructions are simple enough: take one pill every morning with a glass of water and document any changes I notice. They even gave me this little notebook to record my thoughts and experiences. Took my first dose today, and so far, nothing’s changed. It’s just another normal day filled with studying, gaming, and avoiding the gym. I’m not expecting much, but who knows? Maybe this stuff will actually help me focus.

Anyways, I just took the first pill. They're kinda gross if I'm being honest. There's this golden liquid inside the pill that's almost acidic in a way? I don't really know how to describe it.

January 22

It’s been a week since I started taking Liquid GOLD, and I think I’m starting to notice some changes. My head feels clearer, like a fog has lifted. I’ve also been feeling this insane burst of energy. Usually, I’d crash after my afternoon classes, but now I feel restless, like I need to do something physical.

In a moment of madness, I went to the gym yesterday. I didn’t plan it at all. It just felt like the right thing to do. I only stayed for about half an hour, but I found myself enjoying it in a way I never have before. A bit weird for the guy who avoided PE like the plague in high school.

The strangest part? I feel good when I look in the mirror. My arms look a little bigger, and my posture is better. I don’t know if it’s real or just a placebo, but I’ll take it.

February 5

Wow, okay. It’s been three weeks now, and I can’t believe the changes I’m seeing. My body is transforming in ways I never expected. My arms are thicker, my chest is broader, and my waist is tighter. It’s like my muscles are waking up for the first time. Even my face looks different—more angular, less soft.

I’ve been spending more and more time in the gym. It’s not just a chore anymore; it’s become the highlight of my day. There’s something satisfying about pushing myself, lifting heavier weights, and seeing the progress. My old hobbies, like gaming and watching anime, don’t excite me as much anymore.

Mentally, things feel… different. My thoughts are quieter, more focused. I don’t get lost in overthinking or procrastination like I used to. It’s hard to describe, but it feels like my mind is streamlining itself, getting rid of all the unnecessary clutter.

February 19

Something’s definitely happening. It’s not just my body—it’s my mind, too. I feel so focused, so driven, but my priorities are shifting. Things that used to matter to me, like schoolwork or hanging out with friends, feel unimportant. Instead, I’ve been obsessing over routine.

Wake up.

Take my pill.

Work out.

Eat clean.

Sleep.

Repeat.

Clothing has become a weird fixation for me. I can’t stand how baggy my old hoodies and jeans feel. They don’t fit the new me. I’ve started wearing fitted shirts and athletic shorts. Today, I spent hours online looking at rubber gear—polo shirts, shorts, even gloves. I don’t know why, but I felt drawn to it.

Dr. Ellison called it “progress” when I mentioned this during my checkup. He said I’m adapting well to the trial. His words were comforting, even though I’m not entirely sure what he meant by “adapting.”

March 3

The changes are accelerating. My reflection in the mirror is barely recognizable. I’m massive now—broad shoulders, thick arms, sculpted abs. I never thought I’d look like this, and honestly, I’m not complaining.

But it’s not just about how I look. My thoughts are simpler now. Cleaner. I don’t worry about grades or what other people think of me. I’ve been finding satisfaction in following routines and staying disciplined. It’s like my mind is trimming away the excess, leaving only what’s necessary.

The strangest part is how natural this feels. I’ve stopped questioning why I’m drawn to certain things, like rubber clothing. I ordered a polo shirt and shorts made of shiny black rubber, and when they arrived, I felt this overwhelming urge to put them on. The way the material clung to my body was exhilarating. It felt like it was meant for me.

March 17

Obedience. That word has been stuck in my head all day. I used to think of obedience as something restrictive, but now it feels… freeing. There’s a comfort in knowing what’s expected of me and fulfilling that role.

During today’s checkup, Dr. Ellison introduced me to the concept of the Golden Army. He said that’s what this trial is all about—creating a team, a collective, a purpose. When he said I was almost ready to “serve,” I felt this rush of pride.

He gave me a new uniform: a shiny black rubber polo shirt and matching shorts. When I put them on, it felt like coming home. The snugness of the material, the way it shimmered in the light—it was perfect. He told me to wear it proudly, and I do.

April 14

It’s hard to put my thoughts into words now. Writing feels inefficient, clunky. My mind works differently—it’s all about action and purpose.

I have stopped thinking of myself as Todd. That identity has been erased. I am PDU-092, a loyal servant of the Golden Army. My uniform defines me. My purpose is simple: obey commands, serve the collective, and maintain perfection.

Everything is clearer now. I exist to follow orders, to train, to serve. There is no hesitation, no doubt. The Golden Army is strong. The Golden Army is eternal.

Transformation complete.

Identity secure.

Loyalty unwavering.

092 ready to serve. Disciplined. Focused. Controlled.

Journal of Brody Gold

April 14

Dr. Ellison has informed me that the trial drones have progressed smoothly, with a 100 percent conversion rate. Thanks to Liquid GOLD, or Gathering Obedient Loyal Drones, we have a new batch of polo drones at our command. With their blank minds and jacked bodies, they should be perfect servants both on and off the field.

Of course, more test subjects are required.

[eros7hanatos]

Things Diluc Would Do As Your Husband

Husband!Diluc x fem!reader warnings: fluff, sfw, not proofread wc: 547 A/N: had this random thought that led to a train of thoughts while I was procrastinating my studies. I have an exam next Wednesday so I might have to delay some posts TT. I love this man so much <3

art creds: Official Genshin Impact art

We all know that he works a lot, whether that be for the winery or about The Fatui, this man doesn't have much time for leisure. When he first met you he didn't think much, he's not one for looks so he just brushed you off as another ordinary customer. Sometimes you guys would engage in conversation and sometimes you both kept to yourself. He liked this distance and overtime he found himself going to Angel’s Share more and more, in hopes to see you there; reading a book in that corner where you always sat or doing work. Whatever you were doing, he didn't mind, as long as you were there that was all he needed. 

So once this man found out he was head over heels in love with you, gosh, he was absolutely panicking. Only wanting to love you from afar since he was worried that if he was with you, you would be in grave danger.

Back on topic-

He would always find time to see you; whether that be just to have lunch together or to just visit you at your workplace, he would always make time. This is because of his work that often makes him unavailable from the late nights to the early mornings.

He won’t only find time to see you, this man will *make* time to see you. Even when he’s in a big meeting with a big customer, the only thing running in his mind would be you. As soon as the meeting is over he’ll rush straight to you, wanting to tell you all about it and to ask how your day has been.

Diluc is a listener through and through, he loves listening to your random thoughts or how you helped out one of your co-workers because they overslept. No matter what it is, he’ll listen to you with a soft smile on his face. However, during times he also talks, especially with all the events in his life. He wants to open up to someone, thankfully he has such a loving and caring wife 😉

When you’re on your period he will most definitely take days off of work to spend with you. Those days will be spent at home, with him using his element to help warm your stomach and release your cramps. He would help you around if your stomach hurt and would make you your favorite dishes since you love his cooking so much. However, on days that your cramps hurt less he would go into town with you, walking around hand in hand as you looked around all of the little shops, pointing everything out with a smile on your face as he bought all of the things you pointed at. He loves you too much <3

On days that you’re stressed he’ll make a cup of hot coco or tea and lead you to the chairs where you both sit. If you want to talk about it he’s all ears, if not then you’ll both sit in silence hand in hand, with him occasionally squeezing your hand, showing you that he was always there if you needed. He won't force you to talk but would try to urge you to, since he knows holding it in is way worse.

dividers by @cafekitsune

[rottenpumpkin13]

Hello! I was wondering if you have any headcanons for Zack having ADHD?

A few, mostly things that affect him throughout his daily life such as:

• Him going into conversations with the "ok I have to focus and pay attention to what they're saying" mindset, and then focusing so hard on the fact that he needs to pay attention, that he ends up not paying attention to what the person says at all.

• Becoming hyperfocused on something for hours, sometimes even days to the point where the only thing on his mind is his interest, and then suddenly losing interest in it altogether.

• I n s o m n i a + sleep issues in general. He rarely gets a peaceful night of sleep.

• The curse of reading an entire chapter of a book completely spaced out—he's reading it, his eyes moving over the words, but his mind is stuck on something Angeal said to him earlier, overthinking.

• When someone looks at Zack Fair, 98% of the time he's having four different conversations with himself in his head at the same time. (The other 2% he's thinking about how badass it would be to own a hamster named Crusher, or what he wants to eat for lunch).

• He didn't spend half of his last paycheck entirely on a collection of inflatable moogles because he's irresponsible, he did so because of impulsivity 🫠

• ADHD shutdowns are the worse for him; he has a really deep pool of tolerance, but when emotions overwhelm him, he immediately spaces out and remains in this state of not talking and wanting to stay in bed until he processes his emotions.

• You don’t need a weapon to take down Zack Fair—just cancel plans he’s been mentally preparing for at the last minute 🫠 (don't do that he'll explode).

• He has a hard time distinguishing exhaustion from laziness, which often leads to overworking himself because he doesn’t want to seem lazy. Sometimes this results in real exhaustion, where he feels lazy even during his breaks.

• "I have a lot of anxiety and my thoughts won't stop so maybe I'll do some squats because physical exercise clears them up!" <- said at 3AM.

• His apartment isn’t a mess if everything in it is important to him. To Angeal it’s just an old empty pizza box on top of the fridge. To Zack, it’s the box with a discount code he’s been meaning to cut out but hasn’t gotten around to yet thanks to procrastination.

[l0bulariia]

the art of hatred - h.j.

while in a psychology class, you are faced with the cardinal sin of upper education; a group project. to make matters worse, your partner is the definition of a "douchebag."

Warnings: first person pov, female reader, uni!stray kids au, han being a general douche, self deprecating speak, hyunjin being hyunjin, reader being slightly egotistical, angst (only if you squint really hard), frat boys, underage drinking, mention of harassment (jokingly), negative speak of greek life, pet names used (jagi, baby, sweet thing)

back to m.list <3

ah! my first (public) fic!! i really hope you all enjoy this because it was genuinely so fun to create. i am so sorry this took so long to come out, i ended up catching the flu over my spring break and this fic kinda took the back burner. i am hoping to get part 2 out on monday!! AHH enjoy!

word count: 3.7k

SC count: 7

The monotony of schooling has never been lost on me. The mindless day and night cycles of spending too much time procrastinating and then stressing about the growing to-do list on my desk which leads to too little sleep only to restart the cycle when the sun rises again. There was very little I could do that would break me out of the downward spiral into my educational burn out that I constantly flung myself into. All of this was true until my psychology 201 class. 

The professor, a middle aged man who bragged about his kids accomplishments and dressed like a cartoon character every Monday and Wednesday at 11:30 A.M. strolled into the lecture hall as per usual. He donned a yellow polo and his classic khaki slacks, all fitted together with the same beaten loafers that I swore were, somehow, cemented to his feet. I definitely didn’t mind this class. It was always easy enough to understand, the assignments never felt burdensome even with the massive habit I have for procrastination, and everyone decently kept to themselves, bar someone needing a pencil here and there from the row behind where I sat in my unassigned-assigned seat. 

I would consider myself a good student. Always keeping my gpa high, attending extra lectures and seminars when the need arises, turning in work on time, introducing myself to professors and faculty, something my roommate insisted was important for “marketing myself.” Being in my second year at a state university, I didn’t see much need for it, especially in a class that I was simply taking for the prerequisite credit, but I went along with it anyway. It couldn’t hurt being on a first name basis with a professor if I ever needed an extension on homework, right? I had decided on this school, along with my major, while I was still in grade school, deciding that a sensible degree in human resources would get me just far enough in life to support myself while still leaving space for the things I truly wanted to do. 

When my mind chose the reasonable and “safe” route, my heart still yearned for the pull of the arts. My vice? Painting. A hobby that had turned into something of a near addiction by the time I reached my last year of highschool, as well as a hobby that had brought me my very best friend, Hwang Hyunjin. A string bean of a man, Hyun had seen my sleeve covered in streaks of an emerald green paint at a university welcome event during our first week of freshman year and nearly exploded in excitement at the prospect of having a friend who shared his love for painting. From that day on it had been constant texts, trips to the dining hall, hours spent in the intramural art studio, drives to the local convenience store for snacks, anything and everything. I was grateful to have met him, no matter how often his and my friends were convinced we were something more than friends, neither of us had ever even considered it. Frankly, to the both of us, it would be like dating my sibling. Unfortunately for me, Hyun was not in this class with me meaning I was bored the majority of the hour and a half lecture, spending time doodling in a sketchbook more than I was paying attention to the words plastered on the powerpoint. 

It was only when my professor uttered the words “group project” did I rip my eyes away from the anatomy practice that was scribbled over the canvas paper in front of me. Suddenly, this man had dropped from my highest ranking professor in the category of likeability to the lowest. He had committed the cardinal sin of large lecture classes. I let out a low grumble as he excused the class to open up the sheet of names he had added into the online course, listing the pairs of students working together. Scanning the document for my name I discovered that I was paired with a “Han Jisung,” a name that was as unfamiliar to me as the other 150 other names on the document. With a shrug I copied down his university email and number with the plan to message him to introduce myself and set up a time and place to work on the presentation once I was back in my dorm for the night. 

The rest of the class droned on until professor polo-shirt dismissed us, reminding us to connect with our partners “sooner rather than later!” I packed my things back into my bag, slinging the tote in which mostly contained art supplies over my shoulder and started my route to the creative art building on the other side of campus. Headphones over my ears, I drown out the sound of lively chatter throughout campus with whatever podcast was highly recommended to me by my roommate for the week. This is only until I come face to face with my biggest dread when it comes to attending a large university, the fraternities fundraising in the campus square. This degenerate sight physically pained the academic portion of me, seeing my peers dance around shirtless, getting pelted with paper plates of whipped cream all in the name of raising a few dollars. I tuck my head into my chest and pick up the pace to avoid any unwanted attention, which was normally a successful adventure. Until I felt the unmistakable wet, sticky feeling of sweetened cream slide down my arm. 

I let out a disgusted gasp, snapping my eyes up towards the table of barely dressed men, all now wearing a look of shock as I stare daggers into every single one of them. After a painfully long moment, one of the members, a short, shaggy haired boy emerges from the gaggle of idiots clutching his stomach as he doubles over in laughter. It is at that moment when I consider throwing away any chance at a sensible life for one of murder and jail time as I feel the slimy, warm whipped cream slide down my arm and onto my tote bag. My attention moves to him as he walks towards me, still laughing as he attempts to get out, possibly the worst apology I have ever heard in my 20 years on this planet. 

“So sorry, baby! Little bit of friendly fire there.” The cackling boy finally manages out.

“Yeah, I can see that.” I reply, moving my unscathed hand to the arm to scoop off the remaining sweetness and flick it to the ground before it dries. The boy watches my hand closely, turning back and giving a smirk to his brothers as he takes another step to me, gripping my arm loosely in his hands.

“Allow me…” He spoke, his voice lowering to the most abhorrent fake-sultry tone that makes me imagine all of the poor girls who had fallen for it in the past. He takes the corner of his shirt which was hanging from his belt loop and wipes the area of my arm coated in a sweet sheen, his eyes darting between my eyes and my lips. At this I reel back, ripping my arm from his grasp, my blood now boiling. 

“You’ve clearly done enough. Go back to… whatever that is…” I spit out the words with barely contained venom as I turn my back to the crowd of men, all now cackling at the actions of their member. I decide, for once, to leave it there, moving back to continue my walk to the studio as I hear them guffaw at my borderline harassment case in the making. As I move my headphone back over my ear, I hear the same man who had “helped” me yell over the growing laughter.

“Come back whenever you want, sweet thing!” 

With a roll of my eyes, I keep walking, waiting for the safe, stale air of the art studio to be around me once again.

“I couldn’t believe the audacity! I mean, if you're going to throw around whipped cream, of all things, at least have a tarp down so people don't have to step in it!” I pace around the easel that Hyunjin is working at as I rant, my hands thrown up in frustration. “And he had the bright idea to yell after me as I clearly wanted nothing to do with his little… party trick!” Hyunjin just hummed in response, a look of amusement on his lips as he placed his paintbrush down and leaned back on his chair, watching me as I walked circles around him. 

“Let me get this straight. You caught a stray glob of whipped cream, and that led you to consider murder?” He held back an obvious laugh, knowing it would bring me back to earth from my angry bubble of nerves. “Jagi, it’s only Monday. I don’t think there is enough spite in the world to keep you going at this pace.”

I shoot a playful warning look at him as I pull a stool up to my own unfinished painting, staring at it as a huff leaves my lips unintentionally.

“It's the principal, Hyun. They think they can just do that because they paid for a group of friends as equally stuck up and dickish as they are!”

All Hyunjin can do is laugh as I let out another grumble and turn my attention to the canvas in front of me, picking up my paintbrush to continue the garden scene I have now been attempting to perfect for over three weeks now. I feel every worry and sliver of annoyance slip away as I guide the brush strokes over the canvas, keeping quiet yet thoughtful conversation going with my best friend. 

I paint for another hour until I look over to Hyunjin’s easel seeing that he had since abandoned his canvas, yet again, to sit on the floor, his overly loved sketchbook in his lap as he traces shapes over the papers.

“Dining hall?” I question, wiggling my eyebrows at him in a mock suggestive way, sensing his boredom even from a few feet away. He lets out his signature excited squeal, even for the sub-par substance our school calls “food” we unfortunately pay way too much for, as he gathers his things, quickly shoving them aside to stand up. I pack up my own belongings and we walk over to the cafeteria. Our days since becoming friends have always been easy, never doing too much to overwhelm us in addition to our course work. I like the life I have created for myself, even if it is a few hours from what I still consider home. 

Our night ends as it always does, sitting on the floor of my dorm, food sprawled across my carpet, his laptop open and playing a Netflix show both of us have sworn we would pay attention to but never do. My dorm became our hangout spot quickly when my roommate met her boyfriend a few weeks into our freshman year, opting to spend most of her nights at his place instead of the room she was supposed to inhabit. I never complained, even though we had been friends long before we became roommates, her incessant cries for me to “find my person” and “live a little” began to sound like nails on a chalkboard. I knew her intentions were good spirited, even if me getting a boyfriend was mostly for her gain so that we could go on her coveted double-dates, however I had told her from the beginning I was at university to get my degree, not a hookup buddy. I let out a sigh as I rolled off of my place on the floor, reaching for my laptop and opening it to the same screen it had been left on since my psychology class ended earlier in the afternoon. 

“I still can’t believe my professor is damning me to hell by assigning this random group project. Who even does that?” My complaints are met by a shrug from Hyun as his attention stays on the pint of Ben and Jerry’s in his hands, scooping away at the chocolate ice cream gleefully. I type out a text to the number I wrote down earlier, deciding now was as good of a time as any to get the ball rolling on the project, even if it wasn’t due for another few weeks. 

I scoff at the message sent back to me, placing my phone on the ground to set aside the annoyance I felt resurface at the blatant dismissal. 

“This project is going to be a nightmare.” I groan, laying back onto the ground, my hands dragging down my cheeks. “Who even assigns group projects in lectures anyway! I don't know any of those idiots! Why does my grade have to depend on them?” I shove my phone closer to Hyunjin, flipping over onto my side to watch him as he reads over the text.

“Oh, ew. Good luck with whatever stick is shoved up your partner’s ass.” He pushes the phone back over to me as I let out another frustrated noise. Great, two annoying men in one day. What could be worse.

Four days have now passed since I had heard from my project partner, and my displeasure for him has only grown. Since the text on Monday, I have already started the work deciding to just get my part started so that when I finally do get a reply I have a better idea of what needs to get done. As I sat in a study room inside of the creative art building I hear my phone chime.

God… This dude was still a prick even after blowing me off when I wanted to meet earlier in the week. I swallow any other choice words I may have for my mystery psychology partner and turn my attention back onto my laptop, finishing the outline for my section of the project I had pretty much assigned myself. The project would be simple enough as long as my partner cooperated, which now seemed like a fleeting wish. Letting out a sigh I continue working, my mind drawing pictures of what this shit show of a project was going to turn out like.

I rounded the corner into the business building at 11:47 the next day, deciding to get there a bit early to ensure there was a study room available. Finally securing one of the rooms in the back of the building and pulling out my laptop and pulling up whatever resources would be needed for the project, shooting my partner a text to inform him of where to meet me. To pass the time I began sketching an idea for another landscape that Hyunjin had told me to attempt.

I watch as the clock hits 12:48, my hands gripping the pencil in my hand so tight, I think it might break. He’s late. What else did I expect? Pulling my phone out once again, I text him again, holding back any rageful curses, just barely. It takes him an exorbitant amount of time to reply, and when he finally does, I only see red. 

When he finally shows up, I nearly bolt out of the room. Of course. Of course it's the same, shaggy haired, cretinous, nuisance of a man that I had the displeasure of interacting with in the campus square at the beginning of the week. He now stands before me, reeking of stale, cheap bear, sporting the most egregious hickey on the side of his neck in a backwards cap and a somehow wrinkled hoodie. 

“How nice of you to show up.” I finally mutter as he enters the room, slumping over into the chair opposite of me.

“Nice to see you again, baby. I would have been here sooner but the brothers and I threw last night. Ended up drinkin’ a bit too much.” The smirk he is wearing makes my very insides turn inside out, either that or the smell of the cheap perfume that still lingered on him from his night-time escapades. 

“That much is obvious.” I scoff, waking up my laptop that had been abandoned in his tardiness. “Lets just figure out who has to do what so you can go back to whatever hangover activities you were attending to.” 

Han sucks in a breath through his teeth, moving his hand over his heart in mock hurt. “Hurts me to have you think I get hungover, sweet thing.” 

I just roll my eyes at him and push my laptop closer, showing him the outline I had prepared previously explaining to him the parts that I wanted him to complete. After a while of me talking and him trying to use what I can only describe as stereotypical “charm,” on me, he leans back in the chair, lacing his fingers behind his head with a look of confusion written clearly on his face.

“See, baby, I was thinkin’ that you could just… yaknow, do that part for me. Be a team player, yeah?”

“You're being facetious, right..?” I question, jaw half clenched as I get the words out. Taking in the look on his face I can tell he is, in fact, being dead serious about me doing every portion of this project.

“Look, I don't even know what that word means… Do you really want your name tied to mine on a project like this? I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually showed up to anatomy.”

“This is for psychology class, you…” I bite my tongue before I can call him every fowl name in the book. I let out a sharp sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try my best to calculate the next words that are about to come out of my mouth. “I am submitting this project with my name on it whether you do your part or not. But I refuse to do the work of two people. You and the brothers of Alpha Epsilon… whatever, can keep your hands away from a girls tits for two days while you do your part of the project.”

“It’s Sigma Kappa Zeta, and I’m just saying, your grade, and mine by default, would be better if you just did the project.” He corrects me, as if I genuinely care about the name of his stupid paid friend group. I get to a point where if I have to listen to him for another moment I will claw my eyes out right here in the study room. I close my laptop abruptly, causing him to flinch in his chair, his eyes wide and locked on my movements. In one quick motion, I shove my laptop back into my bag, throwing it over my shoulder and standing from my space in the room.

“Do the project or don’t, just know that I am not doing it for you.” The not so well contained anger that laces into all of my words definitely sparked some sort of fear in the brown haired boy as I walked quickly out of the room and back into the main atrium of the business building. 

If I am anything, I am a woman of my word. The entire rest of my weekend was spent working on my portion of the project and nothing more. Formulating slides for the presentation, ensuring that my research was concrete, everything was cited in proper notation. I didn’t leave a single point of the rubric untouched. I wanted to give Han the benefit of the doubt, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would have taken my little outburst as a warning and actually done his portion of the work. I shared everything he would have needed in his email, but nothing more. But as the weeks leading up to the due date wore on, I saw no new activity in the shared documents. There was a gnawing feeling of guilt that lingered in the smallest corners of my mind at how I reacted to his mostly mindless request until I reminded myself that he was also a grown man. He didn’t deserve to be babied through college, no matter how dim-witted he came off. 

The day of the presentation came quicker than I expected as my workload nearly doubled before my eyes. The last week and a half became a blur of midterm papers, stupid assignments that left me more confused than not, and some of the worst wine hangovers i've ever experienced thanks to Hyunjin’s new fake ID. As I took my seat in the lecture hall, I spotted Han entering through the side door, ego emanating off of him like cartoon stink lines. Just as I had expected, he hadn’t even opened the document that I had sent him so I submitted it to our professor unfinished and only with my name on it, along with a lengthy email drafted in my notes when I inevitably have to submit my peer review. 

The rest of the student’s presentations nearly put me to sleep as I mindlessly scribble in my sketchbook, awaiting my turn to completely embarrass Han. And when that fateful moment finally rears its head, it's just as glorious as I had expected. We walk to the front of the hall from our respective seats. Him clad in an unironed button up shirt and slacks, me in my most business casual dress from the very back of my closet. I begin by introducing the topic, giving the prepared background and flipping through my slides with practiced ease. It was clear to my professor that I had put in effort and time, rightfully so. But once Han’s slides appeared on the projector in front of the entire hall, his face paled. I bite back the shit eating grin I know is forming on my lips as I watch him flounder at the sight of the empty slides. Small snickers can be heard from around the classroom, the more astute students whispering to one another about his clear unpreparedness. This beautiful scene carries on for another 30 seconds or so until our professor loudly clears his throat, dismissing us back to our seats. 

Once I am out of view from Han, I can't hold back my smile any more, cheeks burning as the muscles contract further than I think they ever have. Sweet, sweet revenge. My phone vibrates against my desk and as I turn it over, the messages that plastered my lock screen only made my smile grow. 

[jazzyblusnowflake]

You've got some cool headcanons for Nuzi and Vuzi, but what about the third? You got any for EnVy?

Wow i suck at answering these on time smh. sighhhh, in my defense i procrastinate answering some questions cuz i don't wanna just put together some random stuff and call it a day-

i actually wrote some stuff for some asks before but had to delete it last minute cuz i thought its worth putting more time than that, i guess TvT sorry, im probably taking this too seriously idk.

My eNVee headcanons TvT:

[yall know the drill, the drone versions only, the human versions aren’t involved, and no nsfw- for now.]

k so, light envuzi involved too, Uzi is the mediator here, whether u consider her a friend here or their mini toaster in the middle- also there's some of the stuff from my future version where V is safe and sound thankfully. and also maybe some stuff from their past too.

With how N was realizing that V was lying or hiding stuff from him in a constant manner, naturally he grew to grieve the loss of who V USED to be, and with that loss he tried to accept that he has to let her go, because the V he fell in love with was long gone. despite this, when they both started teasing each other over their relationship with Uzi and N started to bite back a bit at Vs behaviors with more self confidence, they grew to form a completely different kind of relationship. Uzi was just having fun seeing them try to win her over lmao; but in the end they kind of started enjoying eachothers company again. Uzi felt happy seeing them get closure for the things they went through and was more than happy to support them through it.

Back at the manor V was fixed up after J and N, she was one of the later drones added to the family, she hardly spent much time at the manor at all before the great yeetening happened- she was originally a maid drone for a family before she was broken and dumped in the drone corpse junkyard. Maid drones are programmed with sweet and soft AIs with more round/short body shapes to have a friendly image in a household, they are made to be able to deal with both adults and kids, and they are best made for cleaning and setting up the house in mind. N was made as a butler/chauffeur before getting broken and yeeted in the junkyard [yes he can drive]. Due to V getting broken for some sort of mistake during work, she was left scarred after her reboot to make any more mistakes, which left her slightly jitter-ish and clumsy. Tessa put N in charge to help her around and although at the beginning V didn't talk much and felt unsure, slowly N became her safe space- especially since Tessas abusive parents remind V alot of her old household. N in turn thought V was always cute, he helped her with her work, having more steady hands, which ended with a lot more hand touching and blushing on both their ends :p

N was the one that suggested glasses for V which Tessa decided to try doing to see if it would help her visual efficiency in any way, and it did. V as a DD often tries to rely on her real eyes rather than look through her main visor, the glasses remind her too much of N...

N and V sometimes used to get out of the manor in secret spots to spend some time away from the chaos to help V calm down. during this time they would read books, learn stuff from each others past lives, and sometimes draw lol, but V just liked watching and listening to N, she felt happy with him. although unlike N, V felt a bit nervous around the animals in the area XD

N and V actually have shared kisses, just not on the lips. with N kissing her on the back of her hand as a gentleman and V giving him kisses on his cheek [Tessa's idea of a cute plan to put them under a mistletoe lol], but Vs last words to N was a promise to give him a kiss before she became comatose. as more drones in the manor stopped working and Ns efficiency and work became less useful to the manors occupants due to him wanting to spend time with V all the time, Louisa and James started becoming more impatient with Tessa's drones, which lead to the whole "get rid of them" line...

back in the current time V is obviously trying to protect N in her own traumatized way; but even then, most of the things she had done to "shelter" N, was probably not the best choice one could make, and some of it was done out of jealousy towards N and Uzi getting closer. However, slowly she started convincing herself that N deserved someone like Uzi. V had convinced herself that she deserves nothing. She was willing to give up everything for N and keep him safe from the beginning, even if it meant knocking N down a few limbs/heads just to keep him away from danger- which is problematic in itself. she made choices based off fear and urgency. she was always traumatized.

When N and V started getting along together a bit more and hanging around a bit in the human cities- V takes N to a bookstore she found once and they spent the whole day in the shelter of the store reading different old books. V still does not admit she did this to see N happy again lol.

When N started showing V affection again, V started becoming heavily touch starved and dependent on him again, just like the manor days, which she feared, which caused a minor set back for a while where she tried to avoid N. Uzi had to come and fix this shit cuz apparently only she can scold 2 dinosaurs without feeling intimidated. after N and V kiss for the first time PROPERLY after the whole solver BS ends, V just gets more touch starved and she hates both N AND Uzi for this lmao.

N and Uzi know that one of the only ways to make V calm down is to act soft with her, occasionally praising her and calling her nice things; even when V is literally threatening to bite their head off- [shes bluffing-.......mostly.]

N is usually the one that initiates any closeness with V. after their first kiss, N does tell her that she's done stuff that he might not be able to casually forgive, but at the same time he has seen her grow, and she does have good in her that he still loves her for.

V has nightmares and hardly ever sleeps, and when she does, its usually cuddling N or Uzi.

V tries to wear her glasses more often in the future. N likes it a lot :"3

V is surprisingly a good mom :p [spoilers for my au lmao bye] but yeah, since her original OS was for a maid, she still has some functions to be good with little ones. she cant help herself, she just really likes babies and kids.

N likes sometimes ballroom dancing with V for old times sake...

[i think this is as far as my brain will allow me, please excuse me as i jump off a cliff :") ]

[arcadia-of-pluto]

Twist of Fate; Twenty Seven

Pairings; LADS OT4 x reader

Word count; 3,883

Themes; isekai, slow-burn (smut will be in the endings <3), canon divergence

Rating; 18+ for excessive swearing

Notes; So sorry it took me so long to update 😭 procrastination has been a real bitch + I got really into writing my Caleb fic. Also, I lost the 50/50 on Rafayel's birthday event banner and wanted to Alt + F4 my life ;-; I had 39 pity from last event, so I pulled 30 times and got a double of Sylus that I already had maxed out 😞 so now if I want them new Raf card, I have to spend money. I might just miss out on this one, as much as it pains me to say. I hate to miss out on a birthday card (since I've prided myself on having all b-day cards so far), but I can't justify spending for 50 more pulls (bc my luck is bad, I know it'll take all 50 times). I'll just save my guaranteed for the next banner. In all the gacha games I've played, I've never had as much bad luck as I do in lads 😭 

Anyways, I have two more chapters of this already written and once I write some more in my Caleb fic, I'll officially post it! And then I really need to work on Divisa. But ToF should be getting close to ending soon? I'd say maybe 10 or more chapters. And there will be smut, however I can't find a way to work it into the plot right now so I'm not sure if it'll come in the Epilogue or in separate one-shot fashion. (I'm also very excited for chapter 28, it's the whole idea I wanted to write this in the first place, so I hope it comes out right! I haven't written in third person in so long…)

prev || next

☆ Masterlist ☆

After Xavier left that day…after Xavier’s figure disappeared from the doorway as he left, you didn’t see him again. His ominous final words ringing in your head and you internally curse him. You’ve been constantly wishing to see him, wanting to - needing to, but alas, he didn’t magically reappear in front of you like you wished him to.

Not even when his crowning ceremony rolled around, and no one found this odd. No one spoke word of Xavier, no one told you why. It was as if he never existed.

One whole month after your light had left you, you passed the exam to join the Order of the Lightseekers. Your first step to becoming a Grandis Knight, a dream you weren’t even sure you had anymore without Xavier. But you chose to continue down this path, it was all you had.

…Seconds…Minutes…Hours...

…Days…Weeks…Months…

Years.

The King had passed away and due to Philosian tradition, there was to be a 200-year mourning period before his successor took the throne.

200-years in this dream? Nah, surely…

Year after year, fewer people of Philos cared about whether someone would be King. The seat has been empty for so long now, and the planet has been so peaceful. What need is there for a King with no conflict?

During these 200-years, no one spoke of the prince nor of the ceremony to bestow the title of crown prince.

You felt as if you were losing your mind. Every day felt the same - monotonous. No Xavier, no Rafayel, Zayne, Sylus…Anyone. Well, besides Jeremiah. Your only friend in this world, in this dream. The only person keeping you afloat during these past 200-years.

How long have you been asleep?

A few hours?

Days, even.

How would you even know?

All you could do was continue this dream and hope the ending would be sooner, rather than later.

For 200-years, you swing your sword and work your way up in the Lightseeker ranks, making your way up to becoming the Commander of an elite squad of knights. Still thinking of Xavier, still hoping he’d come back and claim his throne so that you could be by his side, as his Grandis Knight.

And today was a monotonous day.

A day you felt like you’ve seen countless times.

You were leading your squad through the depths of a forest, fighting against Wanderers for several days at this point. And when night falls, you’re alone, perched on a boulder, planning the squads next move.

“Starfall Forest has always been home to an unstable Protofield…Not a single person made it out alive these past few months. I doubt we can take down the beast.” You turn your head as you hear Jeremiah walking toward you. A flask held out in front of you and you sigh before taking it from him to drink. “You’re ruining the mood. If the best knights in the Order of Lightseekers can’t defeat it, no one can.”

The beast was a gargantuan Wanderer, a monster of unprecedented proportions. You never expected to see such a creature in your lifetime. Though, you’d only seen it from afar while scoping out the area. You planned for your squadron to take out all of the smaller Wanderers and Protocore clusters first, and then take on the beast. But if Jeremiah is feeling doubtful…

The knights can’t afford to leave without, at least, trying. If this Wanderer escapes Starfall Forest, the whole planet is in danger.

“Xavier’s Gladius Ceremony took place here…Always brooding over that. Your persistence is - No, could it be…” Jeremiah’s eyebrows furrow and he looks at you with an amused expression on his face, as if ready to tease you.

“Nonsense!” You quickly brush him off. It’s not like you led your squad here, hoping you’d find Xavier…Jeremiah was always too damn perceptive. Afterall, he was one of the best knights under your leadership and the only person you could talk to about Xavier during these 200-years. “I wonder what happened to Xavier, but I would never sacrifice my squad just for that curiosity.”

Jeremiah sighs, “No need to get upset, it’s just…with the death of his majesty, your teacher went on an expedition into the starry sea.The Ligthseekers are supposed to serve the crown prince, but that bastard Xavier…We’re all scattered in the wind. Who knows how many already abandoned their knighthood. If things turned out differently, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

While you can understand Jeremiah’s anger, there’s no use in venting about it. You shove the flask back toward him and shake your head, “Stop whining. We should rest while we can.” Jeremiah gives you a sullen look before he pats your shoulder and turns to walk away, “Will do, Commander.”

Then, silence.

You could faintly hear your squadron laughing amongst themselves before retiring for the night, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the sweet serenade of birds, the crackle coming from the fire in front of you as it slowly died out.

Darkness.

The trees in this forest were so ancient, their canopies so thick that not even moonlight could trickle through, but you stayed awake throughout this darkness. Well, more so, you couldn’t sleep. Not when you could faintly see a white figure within the depths of the forest.

With how dark it was, you shouldn’t have been able to see anything, but for some reason, this figure was cast in a soft light.

Your gaze met before it turned to walk away.

“It can’t be…” You mutter under your breath.

You don’t care what it was. Whether this was a figment of your imagination or just a delusion from how tired you were. You didn’t care. All that mattered was the possibility that this figure was Xavier.

You jump up to your feet and race into the forest.

You knew this was obviously a bad idea. What if you get lost within the darkness? How would your squadron go on without their commander? But none of that mattered with Xavier in front of you. 

“Xavier!” You shout as you run, feeling the wind whipping against your cheeks. You could see his cloaked back and his movements weren’t too fast, but it was as if he wanted you to see him, but not catch up to him.

Maybe your mind really was playing tricks on you, but…

What if this was really Xavier?

“Xavier, wait!”

You could feel your breath hissing from your lips in harsh pants, your heart pounding in your chest, and in a moment of exhaustion, you blinked - and the figure was gone.

The forest…also vanished.

You were in the center of a starry galaxy, its expanse unending.

“Ah…so it was an illusion.” A broken laugh slips from your lips and you fall to your knees, defeated. “Fuck…” You squeeze your eyes shut as more curses slip out. “Damn it!” You run your fingers through your hair as you seemingly feel yourself spiraling through the galaxy around you. Spinning and tumbling through the endless nebula of space.

Was this an illusion too? Or some effect from a Wanderer? What was going on?

Darkness overcame you. You weren’t sure which way was up and which down. If it were night or day. Dreaming or restless.

But after what felt like an eternity, you hear it.

“Y/n…It’s you, isn’t it?”

That voice…

“Answer me! Where are you?!”

Why did he sound so worried? This was all an illusion anyways.

You felt so tired. You couldn’t even bring yourself to speak, tongue feeling like molasses in your mouth.

“Y/n!?”

Before you could give in to sleep, a brightness stung your eyes and you recoiled back with a wince. A beam of light?

You slowly, cautiously, opened your eyes, not sure if you were worried you’d see an illusion or if you’d still be encased in darkness. As this sense of exhaustion crept under your skin, you could still hear the anxious and terrified voice of someone - Xavier? - begging you not to fall asleep, pleading for you to just wake up.

Within the void of light, you could finally see Xavier.

Head drowsily tilting to the side as you squint your eyes. Is he really here this time? A hand, your hand, reaches out to lightly brush your fingertips along his cheek. His skin felt warm. A soft gasp leaves him before he shakes his head, grabbing your hand. “You can’t fall asleep…Let’s go home. Together.”   

It was like a dream - this was a dream, so a dream within a dream, perhaps? Xavier returned to you…after 200-years. You should definitely be pissed off, but you weren’t. You were just happy to see his face, to hear his voice once more.

He was…also a Lightseeker? You won’t ask questions. Though it is a bit odd that he was one even though he seemingly went missing for 200-years.

After saving you from whatever darkness you were trapped in, he took you back to his base camp - on the other side of Starfall Forest. His squad was by no means official. Different badges donned the jackets on every single knight you passed by, each from another order. Though, you wouldn’t question it. You didn’t have the heart to ask anything, to shatter your reunion with Xavier.

“To think you were actually here! We all thought you went missing.” Jeremiah scoffs with a hand on his hip. “But 200-years, seriously, is that how much we mean to you?”

“I’ve been investigating the forest for the past few years. It’s always infested with Wanderers. I believe something is afoot.” Xavier says with his hand up to his chin as he thinks. Then, he shakes his head with a sigh, “The Lightseekers hunted down Wanderers in this area only for them to be reborn…What a waste of time. I figured we attack the problem at its source. We’ll be done with it once and for all.”

A command center had been set up using various equipment. While it was a makeshift set up, it proved to work surprisingly well. Xavier stood in front of a virtual map, calmly explaining his discoveries over the years to you and Jeremiah. His voice was monotone, yet firm. You watched Xavier walk to and fro before the big screen with a heavy heart. He seemed like his old self, but also…not.

Eventually, after all the other knights cleared out, you have a conversation with Xavier, one that would stick with you. It would cement the fact that while Xavier has always been in love with you - no, the main character - he would never dare to make the first move. You would bring up that you could have fallen in love by now, and he would calmly say, “Good.” As if he would’ve been okay with that. Even though 200-years ago, he had gotten jealous over Jeremiah standing too close to you. So instead, your gaze would be drawn to the tassel on his sword. It was the same charm, but the string had been swapped out.

You would bring up how much he cherishes the tassel, then ask if he remembered who gave it to him, yet he’d quickly change the subject to his squad’s spaceship.

It seemed he was always too busy for you lately, he was actively avoiding you as if he knew something you didn’t. He must’ve been keeping something from you.

You stitch together a quick plan with Jeremiah over the next few days and decide to act it out as Xavier’s squad returns from the forest.

“Are you sure?” Jeremiah raises a brow as you get comfortable in the grass. To which, you give him a quick thumbs up and a smile, “I’m counting on you to find out the truth from Xavier. Don’t overdo it, now.” The man chuckles with a small shrug, “Unnderstood. At least I can be of some help to you after all these years.”

As you spot Xavier and his squad returning, you quickly close your eyes and rest the back of your hand over your forehead. You have to mentally fight the urge to laugh as you hear Jeremiah put on his best panicked voice as he says, “Hey - Y/n! What’s wrong? Are you having another fit again?” To hide the smile creeping up your lips, you grimace instead and furrow your eyebrows together.

“What happened to her?” You hear Xavier question, his voice almost sounding a bit angry.

“I haven’t the slightest clue. Her condition only worsened ever since she escaped the illusion. We…weren’t able to tell you until now.” As Jeremiah finishes his sentence, you finally open your eyes with a squint, noticing how Xavier’s expression became grave. “Does it involve her heart?”

Oh…poor baby is probably reminded of his previous MC. While that does make you a bit upset, you can’t exactly do anything to stop this charade since you’re practically a puppet on a string in this dream. Which is why you can’t stop the next words that leave your lips.

“Yes…!” You wince, bringing a hand up to your chest as you fist the fabric of your shirt in your fingers. “It hurts so much…Like I’m being stabbed….Some weird energy must’ve…-”

“I swear on my honor that she was crying.” Jeremiah cuts you off. Man…He really does love dramatics. Not sure why he’s swearing on his honor though, when he’s lying. As you wrestled with the urge to complain about Jeremiah’s poor acting, Xavier turns his headset on and then picks you up.

“Are you still on the spaceship? I need to borrow it. Put Operation Backtrack on hold for now.”

Operation Backtrack…?

“Yes, at this very moment.”

“No, wait, Xavier!” You begin to panic for a moment, not wanting to ruin Xavier’s plans just for a little joke. Why was he freaking out so much anyways? “It’s fine, Xavier. You don’t need to use the spaceship! Everything’s okay.” You even jump a few times to show you’re just fine, but what truly hurts your heart is Xavier’s reaction. An expression akin to a kicked puppy washes over his face as he questions, “You lied to me?”

“I…had no choice. You wouldn’t tell me anything, wouldn’t talk to me…wouldn’t even look at me.” You frown, looking down at your boot-clad feet. Then, you hear him sigh before his hand plops on top of your head to ruffle your hair, “As long as you’re healthy.”

“Were you anxious? Hmm…What did you discover? Does it have to do with someone’s heart?” You question, tilting your head to the side as Xavier lets out another exasperated sigh, “It’s all just speculation. Hence why I didn’t tell you…It’s not just a person’s heart. This concerns the entire planet. We found out the secret Philos has been hiding.”

What you learnt next, you’d never forget.

The Wanderers that Xavier killed - the ones you’ve all been killing…weren’t just Wanderers. They used to be civillains, knights…affected by Protocores and the Ether. Turned into these creatures by the unstable energy on this planet. In exchange for the planet’s longevity, the royal family sacrificed their people to fuel the core. And Wanderers would be born as a result of this. The only ones who knew of this dark truth were the royal family themselves and their loyal Lightseekers. But, for some reason, the royals stopped sending people to Philos’ heart. This should be a good thing, however…That only means they found the perfect sacrifice, one that could power the planet for longer than thousands of civilians.

 A woman who could die and be reborn without end. A sacrifice who was seen as the planet’s very life force for she was the only being who achieved true immortality. The royal family was planning to send her to the planet’s heart when the time was right and, if they did so, all of their problems would be solved. Though one person stood in their way, and that was Xavier.

He was one of the only ones who felt empathy for her. For how no one asked how she felt, if she wanted to be a sacrifice - knowing that she’d be left in a hole to die and be reborn again…and again. Her duty was to save Philos because her existence works in such a manner.

This was the justification for why Xavier didn’t hold his crowning ceremony. Why he disappeared for 200-years.

After this, the topic was never spoken of again. You didn’t wonder who the woman, the perfect sacrifice was. The only thing on your mind was the ever mysterious “operation backtrack” that Xavier had mentioned. A plan that brought Jeremiah to his side, but also a plan that you knew nothing of. The only information you knew about the plan was that he, Jeremiah, and a few others were planning on leaving Philos. Leaving you behind. The trip was purely experimental, to go through time and space. No one wanted to risk losing you if the operation went poorly, so you would stay with thousands of other people on this dying planet while they looked for a way to keep it alive.

While they did successful test runs, nothing is ever perfect.

That’s when Xavier tells you the true reason he wanted you to stay behind. Well, ‘tells’ is not the right word, but he insinuates his reasoning. He speaks of how he isn’t the only one who could sit on the throne to which you remind him of what he said over 200-years ago. That he wouldn’t allow you become another’s knight nor let you stand by someone else’s side. Then, the conversation turns toward the girl who gave him the star-shaped tassel. He wasn’t wearing his sword today, but you were still reminded of it every time you looked at him.

With the soft tone in his voice, that was all it took for you to realize…She was the girl. The ‘perfect sacrifice’. The one who could die and be reborn. Your heart was in shambles, but you’re glad you’re not actually this knight version of yourself. The heartbreak of this whole situation would be too much for you, along with the embarrassment that comes afterward when learning that she was you this whole time. That you were jealous over yourself.

That’s when you decide to stay on Philos. While you staying was set in stone already, you wanted to make this decision. You would stay here to protect everyone on the planet while Xavier and his group left to find a way to revive Philos and save his love in the process. And as you voice your conviction, your heart stills as Xavier’s reply.

“The King in the legend, who leads Philos into an age of light and immortality…The wearer of the crown will instead be Queen.”

After 200-years of silence, the planet would finally greet the light of a new hope.

As you go from Knight to Queen, you take off the star-shaped badge from your jacket. The badge that signified your knighthood and placed it in Xavier’s open palm. “While I can’t accompany you myself, my heart will.”  

“Is this the little star your majesty promised me all those years ago?” He has a glint of amusement in his eyes and you quickly backtrack, “Forget what I said! That tassel is really important to you, I could never dare to replace it.”

“Hmm…” Xavier hums for a moment before he decides to say something, something that you don’t quite understand. “Your majesty doesn’t need to do that. Allow me to divulge a secret…Only one person has given me a little star.”

A few weeks pass and now today is your coronation. You were never trained on how to be a Queen, what you should do, how to rule over the populous. Your knights, the Grandis Knights and Lightseekers should be by your side, but the one you truly want next to you, refuses to do so. His group, the Backtrackers, left the Lightseekers and were now regarded as traitors, so it’s clear as to why he won’t stand by your side, but…It’s frustrating.

Years pass as the Backtrackers leave for a prolonged period of time and come back empty handed. It seems they haven’t found the right time period yet.

The goal of the Backtrackers…It seems Xavier had lied to you yet again. You don’t believe they’re trying to save Philos anymore. And when you bring this up to Xavier, he stays silent and looks away. Your eyes notice something new adorning the hilt of Xavier’s sword. In place of his star-shaped charm on his tassel was the badge you gave him. He brushes your worries to the side with ease, saying that he hasn’t changed, but you’re unsure of his true goals at this point.

After he leaves, you step out onto the balcony, listening to the cheers of civilians, praising their new Queen. Your eyes dart around, searching for Xavier in the crowd, yet you don’t catch a glimpse of him. Instead, you sigh and brace yourself against the railing, thinking back to the day Xavier saved you in Starfall Forest and came back into your life.

You remember how Xavier spoke with a worried tone, words dripping with anxiety as he asked if you were hurt, if you were alright. You recall the confusion swirling around your head, the paranoia that you were dreaming, and how you stretched your arm out to touch his cheek. How he nuzzled his face into your palm. His hand reached up to grab yours, reassuring you that you weren’t dreaming. How furious you were at him, hitting him and he told you to hit him as many times as you wanted to. Hit him until you felt better. You remembered how you stood up to walk away, almost falling over in the process. Still terrified and weak from your time under the illusion. How he effortlessly lifted you up onto his back, telling you that even if you could walk, he would gladly carry you regardless. How you both looked up at the stars and reminisced about Uluru, your little planet.

And finally, you recalled how when he thought you were asleep, he promised he’d always be by your side.

But he lies.

He’s lied to you time and time again. Over and over and over again.

He said he’d take you to the new planet he discovered. He said he didn’t want to be King, but refused to let you stand by another’s side. He said he’d return when you miss him…He said when you became the Queen of Philos, he’d be your knight. He abandoned you.

Your hand clenched into a tight fist as you tear your gaze away from the dazzling fireworks that illuminate the night sky. You leave the balcony and retreat to the darkness of the cold and empty throne room.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

As you leave the balcony, a spaceship soars across the sky like a shooting star, disappearing into the night. Your footsteps echoed in the empty room. No one would be by your side. You knew, deep down, the Backtrackers wouldn’t be coming back this time.

Not now. Not ever.

Your star has left you and this time…he will not return home.

Today is a BIG update today, so i hope yall are prepared for a Divisa update, the first drabble of my Caleb series (not the moon and sun, but another one), and maybe a little poll for another one I want to work on.

This won't be that edited though, because my Tumblr is freaking the fuck out just from 3k words.

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