#but this time i was procrastinating all during the day and spending up all my possible time doing nothing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nomazee · 7 months ago

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Um hello! Is the 1k event thingy still up?? If so I would like to request a classmate! Dr ratio x reader at 2:47 am?

it's actually sickening how much fun i had with this i was giggling at my own jokes while typing this out... this was so fun to write THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

my 1k event!

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A blaring, aggravating, shrill sound wakes you up. Your hands go to cover your ears, protecting your sanity from the noise ringing somewhere from the tangle of sheets on your bed. Hands flailing around desperately to find the source of the piercing chimes, you writhe around in agony until you finally latch onto your phone.

The brightness of the screen digs into your corneas as you lift up the device to see the caller ID of whoever had the guts to bother you on a school night.

It comes to no surprise that the caller name reads “VERITAS FUCKING RATIO” in all caps with no contact photo. Your eye twitches and the grip on your phone tightens, just a hair away from leaving finger-shaped dents in the metal.

Begrudgingly, you answer the call, tucking the phone next to your ear with nothing less than displeasure. “Veritas. Why are you calling me at—” you pull your phone back to check, “—almost three in the morning?”

“The works cited page,” Veritas Fucking Ratio informs you matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of sleepiness in his voice, nothing that could possibly chip away at his good image, of course. “You did it in the wrong format. It’s supposed to be APA. This is a science project, not a literature project.”

You might kill him. The project in question is to be presented tomorrow— today at ten in the morning. Ratio and you had been working on it for an entire two weeks, broken up into intermittent hour-long sessions because he was adamant that you split up the work instead of rushing to do it all the night before. Stupid self-righteous gorgeous beautiful academic genius-freak. Yeah, it definitely helped you in the long run, but he acted so sanctimonious about it that you refused to admit the benefits.

“Veritas,” you imbue the syllables of his name with poison, as much as you can when you’re swaying as you sit up on your bed and fighting demons to not fall back asleep. “This is such an easily-fixed thing. Do you know what time it is right now? Why are you even awake? You know, I am supposed to get a full seven hours of sleep every night, and I was already cutting it short today, and you woke me up before I could even hit REM sleep. Do you know how upsetting this is? Fix the goddamn works cited yourself!”

For once, Veritas is at a loss for words. The other end of the line is so quiet that you have to double check and make sure he hasn’t just hung up on you. Perspiration builds on your palms, thinking that this is it—this is the exact moment that you make Veritas-Fucking-Ratio snap and delete your name off the project credit slide, and you’re going to get a 0 because he will wipe off any evidence of your work from this plane of existence, and you will spend the rest of your measly life chasing after your MLA-turned-APA works cited page, too-little-too-late.

“I’m awake because the— well.” He pauses, and his voice sounds so far away and unobtrusive that you’re almost worried. Your breath stills in the middle of your diaphragm. Waiting. “The works cited is one thing. But I wanted you to look at the slides, if you can.”

If you can, he says, as if he’s giving you a choice, which he literally never has during this entire process. You had no role in choosing the topic, or the slide theme, or what days you worked on the project, or how often you worked on the project (because god forbid you procrastinate a little bit, right?!), but now, at almost three in the morning, Veritas is saying something along the lines of oh please my dearest project partner, I request that you open the Google Slides at once, but only if you would like to! I would never infringe on your free will at three in the morning, because I respect you as a partner. Or something like that. That was pretty much the gist of it.

A raspy sigh escapes you, and you claw your busted laptop off the nightstand next to you, opening it up and squinting at the LED screen as you punch in your passcode. “You know, I have done a good job at going along with all of your whims, Veritas, the least you could do is fix the works cited for me. Seriously, how did you even miss that? You’re so detail-oriented, but you didn't even realize the format was wrong until tonight? Who even cares, seriously… it’s just a slideshow…”

Your voice trails off as the slideshow presentation finally loads in. You see Veritas’ default profile picture blink in the upper right-hand corner, signaling that he’s viewing the slideshow with you. The slideshow which has apparently undergone a huge makeover.

It’s—pleasant to look at. This entire time, you and Veritas had been editing a default, white-background black-serif-font-text slideshow. He refused to change it, telling you that it’s unprofessional to do anything too embellished, to which you fruitlessly said, Veritas, we will die early deaths because of the hole in the ozone layer, would you at least make it easier on my poor soul by letting me choose a pokemon-theme slide? Veritas had pretended like he couldn't hear you (in a very quiet library room, mind you), but the twitch in his brow gave him away.

Now, though, the slides are decorated. It’s a really nice theme, complete with custom icons and graphic blobs of color—your favorite color, might you add. It’s—pretty. Dare you say, cute, but you think Veritas would vaporize your entire presentation if you called it cute.

“Did you— this— did you pay for this slide theme?”

“You— n— mn,” he trails off into an unintelligible mash of mumbling, and you hear a loud THUD that sounds awfully like the phone being thrown onto a mattress. Fabric shuffles around, before you hear Veritas’ voice again, clear and composed. “Sorry. I dropped my phone.” What a loser, and a liar, and an endearing freak. You really wish he video called you because you need to see his totally-very-ugly face.

“I thought this was unprofessional, Veritas,” you say teasingly, a smile lining your words as you try not to giggle right into the phone. “What made you have a change of heart?”

“Nothing,” the typical firmness of his voice has returned, much to your dismay. “The works cited is still wrong. You have to fix it.”

“Oh, whatever you say, honored Ratio,” you open up your trusty citation-generator, ready for a long fifteen minutes of copying and pasting information. “Hey, you must be free after class tomorrow, right? Since the project is pretty much over, right?”

“Yes,” Veritas answers after a moment of hesitation, only a hint of doubt in his voice.

“That’s great. Keep your schedule clear, then.”

(You fix the works cited slide, wish Veritas sweet dreams, and then wake up in the morning to completely ace your presentation. The minute the period ends, you drag him out of the classroom and into a coffee shop, paying for some five dollar pastry and joking that it’s payback for the cute slideshow theme that he definitely paid five dollars for. Veritas is an awful liar, and you tell him that, and he can’t even find the strength to deny it.)

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

gen taglist: @tragedy-of-commons @lasiancunin

fill out my event taglist (pinned) or general taglist (navi) to be tagged in upcoming works!

#nora hits 1k #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #dr. ratio x reader #honkai x reader #ratio x reader #i love this man he's like a wet piece of bark #like a rained-on plank of wood #this drabble is longer than my dan heng one im sick... dr ratio will not overtake my favorites leaderboard.

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eros7hanatos · 8 months ago

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Things Diluc Would Do As Your Husband

Husband!Diluc x fem!reader warnings: fluff, sfw, not proofread wc: 547 A/N: had this random thought that led to a train of thoughts while I was procrastinating my studies. I have an exam next Wednesday so I might have to delay some posts TT. I love this man so much <3

art creds: Official Genshin Impact art

We all know that he works a lot, whether that be for the winery or about The Fatui, this man doesn't have much time for leisure. When he first met you he didn't think much, he's not one for looks so he just brushed you off as another ordinary customer. Sometimes you guys would engage in conversation and sometimes you both kept to yourself. He liked this distance and overtime he found himself going to Angel’s Share more and more, in hopes to see you there; reading a book in that corner where you always sat or doing work. Whatever you were doing, he didn't mind, as long as you were there that was all he needed.

So once this man found out he was head over heels in love with you, gosh, he was absolutely panicking. Only wanting to love you from afar since he was worried that if he was with you, you would be in grave danger.

Back on topic-

He would always find time to see you; whether that be just to have lunch together or to just visit you at your workplace, he would always make time. This is because of his work that often makes him unavailable from the late nights to the early mornings.

He won’t only find time to see you, this man will *make* time to see you. Even when he’s in a big meeting with a big customer, the only thing running in his mind would be you. As soon as the meeting is over he’ll rush straight to you, wanting to tell you all about it and to ask how your day has been.

Diluc is a listener through and through, he loves listening to your random thoughts or how you helped out one of your co-workers because they overslept. No matter what it is, he’ll listen to you with a soft smile on his face. However, during times he also talks, especially with all the events in his life. He wants to open up to someone, thankfully he has such a loving and caring wife 😉

When you’re on your period he will most definitely take days off of work to spend with you. Those days will be spent at home, with him using his element to help warm your stomach and release your cramps. He would help you around if your stomach hurt and would make you your favorite dishes since you love his cooking so much. However, on days that your cramps hurt less he would go into town with you, walking around hand in hand as you looked around all of the little shops, pointing everything out with a smile on your face as he bought all of the things you pointed at. He loves you too much <3

On days that you’re stressed he’ll make a cup of hot coco or tea and lead you to the chairs where you both sit. If you want to talk about it he’s all ears, if not then you’ll both sit in silence hand in hand, with him occasionally squeezing your hand, showing you that he was always there if you needed. He won't force you to talk but would try to urge you to, since he knows holding it in is way worse.

dividers by @cafekitsune

#Diluc #Diluc Ragnvindr #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #Diluc x reader #Diluc fluff #Diluc Ragnvindr fluff #diluc imagines #genshin imagines

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jazzyblusnowflake · 7 months ago

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You've got some cool headcanons for Nuzi and Vuzi, but what about the third? You got any for EnVy?

Wow i suck at answering these on time smh. sighhhh, in my defense i procrastinate answering some questions cuz i don't wanna just put together some random stuff and call it a day-

i actually wrote some stuff for some asks before but had to delete it last minute cuz i thought its worth putting more time than that, i guess TvT sorry, im probably taking this too seriously idk.

My eNVee headcanons TvT:

[yall know the drill, the drone versions only, the human versions aren’t involved, and no nsfw- for now.]

k so, light envuzi involved too, Uzi is the mediator here, whether u consider her a friend here or their mini toaster in the middle- also there's some of the stuff from my future version where V is safe and sound thankfully. and also maybe some stuff from their past too.

With how N was realizing that V was lying or hiding stuff from him in a constant manner, naturally he grew to grieve the loss of who V USED to be, and with that loss he tried to accept that he has to let her go, because the V he fell in love with was long gone. despite this, when they both started teasing each other over their relationship with Uzi and N started to bite back a bit at Vs behaviors with more self confidence, they grew to form a completely different kind of relationship. Uzi was just having fun seeing them try to win her over lmao; but in the end they kind of started enjoying eachothers company again. Uzi felt happy seeing them get closure for the things they went through and was more than happy to support them through it.

Back at the manor V was fixed up after J and N, she was one of the later drones added to the family, she hardly spent much time at the manor at all before the great yeetening happened- she was originally a maid drone for a family before she was broken and dumped in the drone corpse junkyard. Maid drones are programmed with sweet and soft AIs with more round/short body shapes to have a friendly image in a household, they are made to be able to deal with both adults and kids, and they are best made for cleaning and setting up the house in mind. N was made as a butler/chauffeur before getting broken and yeeted in the junkyard [yes he can drive]. Due to V getting broken for some sort of mistake during work, she was left scarred after her reboot to make any more mistakes, which left her slightly jitter-ish and clumsy. Tessa put N in charge to help her around and although at the beginning V didn't talk much and felt unsure, slowly N became her safe space- especially since Tessas abusive parents remind V alot of her old household. N in turn thought V was always cute, he helped her with her work, having more steady hands, which ended with a lot more hand touching and blushing on both their ends :p

N was the one that suggested glasses for V which Tessa decided to try doing to see if it would help her visual efficiency in any way, and it did. V as a DD often tries to rely on her real eyes rather than look through her main visor, the glasses remind her too much of N...

N and V sometimes used to get out of the manor in secret spots to spend some time away from the chaos to help V calm down. during this time they would read books, learn stuff from each others past lives, and sometimes draw lol, but V just liked watching and listening to N, she felt happy with him. although unlike N, V felt a bit nervous around the animals in the area XD

N and V actually have shared kisses, just not on the lips. with N kissing her on the back of her hand as a gentleman and V giving him kisses on his cheek [Tessa's idea of a cute plan to put them under a mistletoe lol], but Vs last words to N was a promise to give him a kiss before she became comatose. as more drones in the manor stopped working and Ns efficiency and work became less useful to the manors occupants due to him wanting to spend time with V all the time, Louisa and James started becoming more impatient with Tessa's drones, which lead to the whole "get rid of them" line...

back in the current time V is obviously trying to protect N in her own traumatized way; but even then, most of the things she had done to "shelter" N, was probably not the best choice one could make, and some of it was done out of jealousy towards N and Uzi getting closer. However, slowly she started convincing herself that N deserved someone like Uzi. V had convinced herself that she deserves nothing. She was willing to give up everything for N and keep him safe from the beginning, even if it meant knocking N down a few limbs/heads just to keep him away from danger- which is problematic in itself. she made choices based off fear and urgency. she was always traumatized.

When N and V started getting along together a bit more and hanging around a bit in the human cities- V takes N to a bookstore she found once and they spent the whole day in the shelter of the store reading different old books. V still does not admit she did this to see N happy again lol.

When N started showing V affection again, V started becoming heavily touch starved and dependent on him again, just like the manor days, which she feared, which caused a minor set back for a while where she tried to avoid N. Uzi had to come and fix this shit cuz apparently only she can scold 2 dinosaurs without feeling intimidated. after N and V kiss for the first time PROPERLY after the whole solver BS ends, V just gets more touch starved and she hates both N AND Uzi for this lmao.

N and Uzi know that one of the only ways to make V calm down is to act soft with her, occasionally praising her and calling her nice things; even when V is literally threatening to bite their head off- [shes bluffing-.......mostly.]

N is usually the one that initiates any closeness with V. after their first kiss, N does tell her that she's done stuff that he might not be able to casually forgive, but at the same time he has seen her grow, and she does have good in her that he still loves her for.

V has nightmares and hardly ever sleeps, and when she does, its usually cuddling N or Uzi.

V tries to wear her glasses more often in the future. N likes it a lot :"3

V is surprisingly a good mom :p [spoilers for my au lmao bye] but yeah, since her original OS was for a maid, she still has some functions to be good with little ones. she cant help herself, she just really likes babies and kids.

N likes sometimes ballroom dancing with V for old times sake...

[i think this is as far as my brain will allow me, please excuse me as i jump off a cliff :") ]

#murder drones #snowballflo #snow rambles #envy #envee #goldenmemories #serial designation n #serial designation v #n x v #v x n #envuzi #violentbitingbiscuits #nuziv #uzi doorman

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rottenpumpkin13 · 3 months ago

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Hello! I was wondering if you have any headcanons for Zack having ADHD?

A few, mostly things that affect him throughout his daily life such as:

• Him going into conversations with the "ok I have to focus and pay attention to what they're saying" mindset, and then focusing so hard on the fact that he needs to pay attention, that he ends up not paying attention to what the person says at all.

• Becoming hyperfocused on something for hours, sometimes even days to the point where the only thing on his mind is his interest, and then suddenly losing interest in it altogether.

• I n s o m n i a + sleep issues in general. He rarely gets a peaceful night of sleep.

• The curse of reading an entire chapter of a book completely spaced out—he's reading it, his eyes moving over the words, but his mind is stuck on something Angeal said to him earlier, overthinking.

• When someone looks at Zack Fair, 98% of the time he's having four different conversations with himself in his head at the same time. (The other 2% he's thinking about how badass it would be to own a hamster named Crusher, or what he wants to eat for lunch).

• He didn't spend half of his last paycheck entirely on a collection of inflatable moogles because he's irresponsible, he did so because of impulsivity 🫠

• ADHD shutdowns are the worse for him; he has a really deep pool of tolerance, but when emotions overwhelm him, he immediately spaces out and remains in this state of not talking and wanting to stay in bed until he processes his emotions.

• You don’t need a weapon to take down Zack Fair—just cancel plans he’s been mentally preparing for at the last minute 🫠 (don't do that he'll explode).

• He has a hard time distinguishing exhaustion from laziness, which often leads to overworking himself because he doesn’t want to seem lazy. Sometimes this results in real exhaustion, where he feels lazy even during his breaks.

• "I have a lot of anxiety and my thoughts won't stop so maybe I'll do some squats because physical exercise clears them up!" <- said at 3AM.

• His apartment isn’t a mess if everything in it is important to him. To Angeal it’s just an old empty pizza box on top of the fridge. To Zack, it’s the box with a discount code he’s been meaning to cut out but hasn’t gotten around to yet thanks to procrastination.

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #zack fair #crisis core

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etheribot · 1 month ago

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5 tips for the work-at-home witch ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

when i'm not witching around, i actually have a day job! my job is primarily a work from home job, spending my days alone in my room writing reports and reading legal documents... it gets stale (●´⌓`●) this is a list of some little witchy things i do to keep my head on straight and prevent myself from going mad and impulsively quitting my job!

some of these tips might also work for students!

you might have to switch it up a bit, but some of these tips could help you get through homeschooling, digital learning days, or homework.

₊˚⊹♡ 1. light a candle ♡⊹˚₊

one of the first things i do when i begin work for the day is to light a simple votive candle. the element of fire is a strong element, and by lighting a candle you can harness the energetic energy of the flame. the goal of lighting a candle while you work is to keep yourself "fired up" per say ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ . light the candle with the intention of remaining motivated and energized. for extra effectiveness, you could dress the candle with herbs that also have energizing metaphysical properties. (remember, though, always double check that your herbs are safe to burn!)

₊˚⊹♡ 2. use a sigil ♡⊹˚₊

sigils are an extremely simple yet effective way to use magick! personally, i like to draw the sigil on the back of my dominant (or "working hand") with a non-permanent marker. if you follow this method, be sure to wash it off once you've finished work for the day! leaving a sigil on your body too long can be a bit draining in my personal experience.

if you're more artsy, you could make a piece of art out of a sigil to keep on your desk. a painting, a piece of embroidery, a sketch, or even some digital art done and turned into your desktop wallpaper (tech witches would love that, i feel.)!

i personally like to make my sigils for work out of phrases like "may i work efficiently", "may my work be done properly", but & "may information come easily to me".

₊˚⊹♡ 3. money bowl ♡⊹˚₊

i actually haven't done this yet (˃ᆺ˂) it's a spell i plan to do during the next full moon.

but! the idea of a money bowl is to essentially bring more money in to your life. if you're looking for a promotion or a pay raise, a money bowl on your desk certainly won't hurt!

₊˚⊹♡ 4. work outside ♡⊹˚₊

if you're able, work somewhere other than you're typical working area at least once a week. coffee shops, libraries... even a different room in your house! the change of energy will keep you from feeling too stagnant.

i really recommend taking your work outside, if able. sometimes, i print out a few documents i need to read and go sit out under a tree in my yard. sitting outside in nature not only helps to keep you grounded, but it also helps foster your connection with the local nature spirits. connecting to your local nature spirits AND getting your work done at the same time... talk about multitasking! (ᴗᵔᴥᵔ) if you can't work outside, then take time during your breaks to step outside. a small walk or even just sitting outside under the sun is enough to help keep your centered.

₊˚⊹♡ 5. enchant a watch ♡⊹˚₊

i have severe ADHD, but i also have severe severe severe anxiety. because of this, under my doctor's guidance, i can't take ADHD medicine for fear of my anxiety medicine not working effectively. since i'm rawdogging my ADHD i tend to have a hard time staying on schedule... so i've enchanted my watch!

i recommend using materials that promote focus and organization. ever since casting an enchantment on my watch, i've noticed an uptick in my overall productivity in all facets of my life - work included. i haven't missed a deadline, and while i still have a nasty habit of procrastinating, once i finally make the effort to begin work i find myself staying on schedule way easier than before.

that's it for now! if you have any questions or would like me to go further into detail about certain things, feel free to send me an ask! <3

#witch tip #witchcraft #witchblr #witch #beginner witch #work from home

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goldfish-afterhours · 11 months ago

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Genshin Characters During Finals Season (College AU)

Characters: Zhongli, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Albedo, Bennett, Childe, Kaeya

Type/Genre: Bulleted headcanons, comedy

Warnings: Foul language, slightly suggestive humour/for comedic purposes

Zhongli

Calm and collected at first

As the days go by, Zhongli would start looking more and more like a tired dad

Walks around slightly frowning, bags under his eyes from all nighters, and clutching a mug of coffee so hard that people are afraid it’s gonna break, but even more afraid to tell him to be careful

Has heat compresses on the back of his neck and forehead to ease the headaches from the lack of sleep

Probably told Childe to shut the fuck up and mind your own business when he warned him about his cup

“Childe, if I do not kill this final I will kill you in its stead. Leave me be.”

Thoma

Probably part of one of those student care organizations that makes care packages for other students

His smile when he hands out the packages is so bright and healing it could bring back the dead

Always motivating his peers and tries to keep everyone’s spirits up

Offers to get everyone in the study group coffee

He’s not the best at school but he has a lot of friends that are willing to tutor him and do his assignments help him with his work

Likes to snack while he’s studying

“No giving up yet! Let’s take a snack break, you’ll think better with something in your belly.”

Venti

Chills at a coffee shop with a big friend group to “study”

They do jack shit

Probably spends more time staring at the drink menu than his exam notes

Grade A procrastinator, does all his homework the night before it’s due and studies for exams the morning of

Due tomorrow do tomorrow amiright

Always seems to do okay tho?? People wanna scold him for his bad study habits but he actually does okay in school so they can’t really say anything

Doesn’t study hard but parties 100x harder

“Come on, live a little! If your exam is at 2pm, you can just start studying at 9 tomorrow morning and you’ll be fine.”

Xiao

Pulls all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after-

No one can ever find him during the day on campus or in his dorm—it’s like he despawned and just does not exist

Only time he is spotted by others is always at 3am in the morning like a cryptid and he looks like a zombie

He’s actually working a part time job along with going to classes and helping others with their work. An angry looking good boy.

Studies in the lecture halls by himself, blasting music as loud as he can on his headphones to keep himself awake

Mf going to go deaf is2g lower ur volume boi

“…hey. I’m getting a coffee, do you want one?”

Albedo

Plans his time meticulously. Has an extremely organized planner where he writes out exactly what he’s going to do at every hour of the day so he can maximize his week

Includes mealtimes, breaks, and poop times relaxation periods

Usually studies in his room, but for some reason people keep barging in on him to ask for study help so he has to find different hiding places to work in peace

So far, the best place has been the graduate students lounge. No he does not belong there, but no one questions him because it looks like he does

“If you really need my help, I have twenty seven and a half minutes between lunch and my bathroom break this Thursday. Come find me then.”

(Rejected quote: “What’s my masters in? No no, the only thing I’m a master of is your mom.”)

Bennett

The type of person to have the “please don’t talk to me I have work to do and if you talk to me I won’t stop” sign on his back while working in the library

Fell asleep while completing an assignment

Missed the midnight deadline for said assignment

Slept through the exam the next morning

At this point just let him sleep at least he won’t have to deal with it then

“That was a good nap…now I got the energy for my assignment and the exam!”

Childe

Would be a good student if he wasn’t bothering other people so often

Probably bakes when he’s stressed. His roommates are always awoken at 4 in the morning to the sound of the oven beeping and the heavenly smell of freshly baked cookies

Has a friendly rivalry with Zhongli. He always asks when Zhongli will be turning in an assignment, and what mark he’s aiming for for the final exam

Turns in the final paper at least a week before it’s due and aims for ten percent higher than Zhongli on the exam

If he needs bonus marks to reach that then so be it

Otherwise slacks off a bit

He’d be a really good student if he wasn’t so competitive with Zhongli all the time

“You good, Zhongles? You trying to squeeze a better grade out of that mug?”

Kaeya

This man probably used red bull as the liquid for his instant coffee

An absolute menace and loves messing with people

Tells them that the exam is on a whole other different thing than what they were studying for, or that the due date of a big assignment was changed

Nobody goes to him for help

If you do genuinely need help with a concept, though, he’s more than willing to help

Just make sure to provide adequate compensation for him ;)

By compensation I mean more red bull this man has drank 3 cans in ten minutes please stop him

“What? If they do shit, that only helps with our bellcurve, right? Their fault for trusting me anyways~”

#I was just being silly w albedos lol #genshin impact #genshin scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #Zhongli #Thoma #Childe #Kaeya #Bennett #albedo #venti #Xiao #fluff #funny #my writing

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juneknight · 1 year ago

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.Be Lost. || 2.5

Chapter 1 | Chapter 1.5 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 2.5

Next chapter is the last.

His grin is broad, beatific. It turns teasing almost right away. He leans down and brushes his nose against yours before releasing your wrists and rolling off of you.

“I want to be just friends for just a while longer,” he admits in a whisper. “Throughout dinner. There’s something important I need to tell you.”

‘There’s something important I need to tell you’. Have more infamous words ever been spoken, besides ‘we need to talk’? His sentence infuses you with dread and a strange calm all at once. This is it. The other shoe is about to drop. Marc deciding that he doesn’t want to dominate you will be the best-case-scenario outcome.

Worst case scenario? He’s already done too much with you to salvage the friendship, and you both will have to part ways. Maybe that’s what he meant by wanting to stay just friends for a while longer. All these thoughts spin in your brain like a cyclone, sucking up your sanity while you pick at your entree at the (expensive) restaurant Marc insisted on bringing you to for dinner. Your hand is clammy where you are clutching your fork. You consider stabbing yourself with it to end the dinner early.

It isn’t the worst dinner you’ve ever had together (that honor goes to the miserable time you and Marc had tried double dating, each of you bringing a lackluster date and spending the whole time—as you understood it now—fuming when the other showed any hint of affection towards their partner). But this is close. So close.

Even Marc seems nervous. He is quiet(er). He clears his throat every now and then like he is about to say something, but then just reaches for his wine and takes another sip. When he cuts himself off after one glass and moves on to water, he drinks nearly two entire glasses thanks to this procrastination-sipping. You want to scream. Go ahead and say it! Break my heart already! Just get it over with.

When he insists on dessert, you can’t take it anymore. Over dark chocolate cake with chocolate ganache, you sit your fork down and say:

“What is it?”

“Have you ever seen the birds outside your window?” he blurts out. You stare. He clears his throat. Another sip of water. “At your apartment. On your balcony, you have a bird feeder. I just—do you ever stop and watch the birds?”

“Yes,” you say, twisting your napkin in your lap. “Hence the bird feeder. Why—?”

“You have this one bird that comes back often. It’s a house sparrow—I looked it up. House sparrows are like most birds, where the males are all beautiful and the females are more plain. Except this one bird. She had a bib, like the males do, but her’s was a downy gray instead of black. She came back every day. Multiple times a day, sometimes. Maybe she had babies that she was raiding your feeder for, I don’t know.

“But I started talking to her about you while you were gone. Because I missed you. And I always miss you when you go away during the winter, don’t get me wrong, but this time…Well I had to talk to that fucking bird, or I would have—yes, another water would be fine, thank you—”

You glare at the waiter’s back, irritated by the interruption. Something about this strange tangent has your attention. Maybe it’s the serious expression in Marc’s eyes, marred only by a hint of something sharper. Desperation, maybe. Maybe that’s what makes his words string together, turns him into a rambler. Still, you would have him see this through.

“Go on,“ you coax.

“I started talking to that fucking bird, because I couldn’t call you all day, and if I didn’t talk to something, I’d go crazy. I told her all about you. The way your skin gets lit up at night when you fall asleep while we’re watching television, colors changing blue, red, brown, white with whatever is on the screen. I told her about how you can’t let your food groups touch when they’re on your plate. I told her how you laugh so hard sometimes that you snort, and that those are always my favorite laughs.”

“This bird knows all my secrets then,” you murmur. “I hope she doesn’t work for the government.”

“All birds work for the government. I told her about my day. Work. Friends. Traffic. Dreams. Besides our every-other-night phonecalls, this…fucking…bird was the highlight of my day. I mean that unirionically.”

“I’m starting to get jealous.”

“And then one day she was gone,” says Marc. “She missed the morning rush. I sat on your bed, looking out at the balcony, waiting. And she never came. She never came back. I didn’t realize it until sunset, when she’d missed dinner, that I’d wasted my entire day off waiting. That whatever happens to birds—wherever she went when she wasn’t with me—she was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

“That made me think of you. Going away from me, going wherever birds go. Taking all these pieces of me with you, and never coming back with them. You have those, you know. Pieces of me. So many pieces. I’d say that I have one last one to give you, but—” he snorts softly, looking down at his plate, “—you’ve had my heart already.

“And I don’t mind leaving them with you. I don’t mind you leaving. I know your work is important, and that you love it. I just want to know that you’ll always come back. I want you to have a reason to always come back—to me.”

“What are you saying?” you wonder, eyes wide as moons, mouth feeling a little numb. It almost sounds like he’s—

“I’m in love with you. I don’t want tonight to be a one-and-done, and I don’t just want the sex—yes, thank you, the check is fine—-”

“I’m sorry,” you say to the waiter, holding up a finger. “Could you give us a moment without interruptions? Very important conversation. I apologize—thanks! You…you don’t want the sex?”

“I don’t just want the sex. Important distinction,” says Marc. He laughs a little, but it sounds weak, punched-out. “You’re scaring me a little. Everytime I went over it in my head, you said it back straightaway. Then there was usually a spontaneous firework show, maybe some birds—”

“Doves?”

“House sparrows.”

“Marc—” you get shy suddenly. He’s opened himself up to you, fulfilled your wildest dreams (except the thought of Marc Spector loving you was so wild that it hadn’t even been in your dreams), but the idea of opening yourself up in return was terrifying. Couldn’t he just…tell? “Come on. You have to know…”

Marc’s jaw gets tight. His eyes fall to his plate. “I didn’t. I thought—maybe I’ve just been seeing things. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have fucking—God, I’ve gone and fucked it all up, haven’t I?”

“No—Marc, you aren’t getting it. The way you feel—it’s the way I feel, too,” you admit, nearly at a whisper, so quiet that he is leaning closer to you across the table straining to hear your words. “I’ve felt this way all this time. A long time before I even let myself realize it. It’s always been you. It would break my heart if all that happened tonight was amazing, kinky sex—excuse me, I just said—!”

The waiter clears his throat. He brandishes a bottle of wine from behind his back. “For new love. On the house.”

“Is it corked?” Marc asks, his eyes on your own. There is something dark in his eyes, something that makes your mouth go dry in an instant and your hands clench into fists in your lap.

“Yes, sir.”

“We’ll take it to go.”

Marc goes to open your car door for you but instead crowds you against it right there in the parking lot, one hand braced on the window beside you and the other on your hip. His body throws off warmth, and you find yourself arching away from the cool metal of the car against his body, all the breath rushing out of you in a whoosh.

“Listen,” Marc says, leaning in to nuzzle against your temple. “You have to tell me now if you have any doubts. If you do, we’ll get in the car and I’ll drive you back to your apartment, and tomorrow night I’ll take you on another date like nice normal people do when they’re in love. But if you don’t, if you get in this car, you’ll belong to me. You know that, don’t you? Your body—”

“I want it, Marc, I want it,” you breathe. “I don’t have any doubts, I promise—”

He reaches up and grips your chin firmly, pressing your lower jaw up until your teeth clench together. His thumb rests over the seam of your lips, locking them closed. Something about the simple act makes you whine in the back of your throat. “At, At. It’s my turn to talk, yeah? Be a good girl and wait your turn.

“If you get in this car, then for tonight you’re mine. Your body, your mind. Your words and your actions. Your sounds. Your pleasure. All of it will be mine to do with as I see fit. And I’ll treat you so fucking good honey. So goddamn good. Because I know that’s how good of a girl you’d be for me. So what’s it gonna be?” He lets go of your mouth.

“My safeword is wine.”

He sucks in a breath through his teeth, lips thinning. He nods, like he knew it was headed this direction. His hand drops and finds the handle of the car door, and but he doesn’t open it. Not yet.

“One condition,” he says. “Non-negotiable.”

Anxious, you say: “What is it?”

“We kiss first. Here. Now. While we’re still just us.”

“Yes,” you whisper. “Yes, do it, please—”

He kisses you, and it’s—wow. There could be fireworks, for all you know, but they’d be coming in second. Second to the taste of wine on Marc’s tongue. Second to the soft firmness of his lips. Second to the way his broad hand cups the back of your head and tilts it just-so, so that he can deepen the kiss the way he likes. Second to the way he starts to smile against your mouth. A smile that turns into a broad grin.

“Oh my god,” he laughs. “That was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“I found your bird,” you whisper shakily against his mouth.

He pulls back, startled by your words. “You—what?”

“Your missing bird,” you say, reaching for his hand. You place it over your racing heart, which feels like the beating of wings beneath his touch.

#marc spector x reader

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mbti-notes · 2 months ago

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Anon wrote: Hi, I’m a 23 year old INFP. Due to childhood trauma and growing up in an abusive household, but ultimately I suppose due to my own personal struggle to take control of my life, I feel very behind and unaccomplished at my age. I have yet to finish my degree. I managed to get through high school with flying colours, but it turned out I was completely incapable of managing my depression and focusing on school at the same time. As a result, I’ve dropped out for the time being (I’m about halfway done) and have decided to focus on managing myself, personal development, and getting my finances in order before continuing school.

I feel a lot of shame and guilt for not completing school on time, as I’ve always seen myself as “smart” and “scholarly” I suppose, and was raised to hold education in high regard. To put things into perspective a bit more, I’ve always struggled with procrastination, getting things done on time and allowing my emotions to completely captivate me to the point where I easily neglect my duties. Despite this, I managed to get through high school as an outstanding student, but like I said earlier, this did not carry on into college unfortunately.

I feel like I’m less than half of the person that I could be. I also feel held back by my typology. I recall that you don’t hold much regard for enneagram, but I will just say being an INFP 4, it feels like I was born as the type most susceptible to failure. Now, I know INFP does not equal failure, as my best friend is also one and is a relatively successful business woman. However, she has things in life that I severely lack; adequate parental guidance, self esteem, and what I’d describe as much more developed Si. This isn’t to say things were handed to her, she worked for a lot of what she has now, but I do think that she was blessed with much more assets than I was.

I guess what I feel is that INFP is the least useful brain to have in a situation like mine. I have not a logical mind, nor a desire for any sort of order like Js do, and on top of that I was not taught any life skills, and all of my emotional intelligence was developed on my own, through observation. So, I’m great at giving advice, and horrible at applying it to my own life. I’ve been said to be wise, insightful, and particularly good at dissecting interpersonal relationships, yet nothing about my situation in life would reflect this, except maybe my relationships I have with my friends, to a degree.

I know I lack emotional intelligence despite being told otherwise, and this is something I’ve only recently come to terms with. I now believe if I truly had emotional intelligence, I would be in a better position than I am now. I have a tendency to avoid things that make me feel bad. I enjoy staying up late and staying in bed all day. I feel very unequipped to deal with society. I hate strangers, I hate being yelled at, I hate being invalidated, I hate being misunderstood, and all of these hatreds and my incompatibility with society were solidified during the years I worked (fast food, sales, and call centers). I am now very hesitant to get a job, I feel like I’ll be unable to succeed at anything I’m actually qualified for, as it often requires dealing with strangers. I don’t know how I did it before, but I do remember feeling dread during every work hour. I am scared to be in that position again.

I have a tendency to do more for others than myself. I’ll spend all day or longer writing an essay for a friend, or helping them with their homework, and yet I cannot bring myself to focus on my own studies. I can give a friend mountains of advice, perhaps even a detailed life plan, but I can’t begin to truly dissect my own problems and figure something out. It is so much easier engaging with someone else’s problems instead of my own. These days, I often feel like some sort of side character, someone meant to uplift others, but cannot experience any development for themselves. The narrative isn’t focused on me, although I so desperately want it to be.

I want to be accomplished. I want to be strong. I want to face strangers with ease. I want to be able to push aside my feelings in order to work hard. I want to be comfortable with myself, to be a beacon of hope for others, not just by my words and ability to connect with others, but by who I am as a person on my own.

But I am so inconsistent in my pursuits of self improvement, and so easily defeated. I’ve tried and failed a million times. I’ve improved myself over time, but the improvement has been minuscule and inconsistent. It isn’t entirely my fault, as there are circumstances I won’t get into that quite literally force me away from my goals, but I know that I need to find a work around and learn to cope with them so that I may one day succeed and leave these circumstances.

I just don’t know what to do. How can such a sensitive, reclusive, and traumatized person such as myself break their chains? Is it even possible to live up to the greatness I desire that lives only in my head? As an INFP born into such unlucky circumstances, am I destined to always fall short of the person I need to become?

My friends tell me that I’m a great person. They would say I’m capable and that they’ve seen proof. I am cursed with the knowledge that they speak with bias, and their perceptions of me are not based off reality, but by subjective feelings of tenderness. I feel like if anything, it’s been proven that I am incapable.

The only thing I’m really “good” for is giving emotional support to others, but that means nothing to society and absolutely nothing to myself. When I say this, I don’t mean to say that I don’t value kindness or the ability to connect, but that these “strengths” of mine do not realistically benefit my life. Being empathetic is nice for others who know me, but it hasn’t made me a more accomplished or skilled individual, and it hasn’t added any pride to my image. It doesn’t mean much to me if in the end I still can’t take care of myself and I still don’t have much value as a member of society. Especially when I look around and see how much more accomplished my peers who are much more insensitive than me are.

How do I change? How can I live up to my own expectations and standards? How do I fight back?

----------------------

You've brought up a lot of different points, so I'll attempt to break them down for you:

(1) Type Clarification: How did you come to INFP and are you certain this is the correct type? I am obliged to clarify this point because function development isn't going to work for you unless you have the correct type. Generally speaking, based on my experience with type assessment, there are certain warning signs that indicate a mistype, and you display a few of them, so it's important to double check before proceeding.

(2) A Problem of Perspective: What you've written is basically a narrative of your life that explains how you got to this point. What you don't seem to understand yet is that a "narrative" isn't reality. A narrative is merely a story that is told from a very narrow and specific point-of-view.

I always like to bring up the children's story The Ugly Duckling as an example of how a personal narrative can heavily influence one's perspective and lead one into forming faulty beliefs about oneself and the world. The main character of the story wasn't able to truly understand himself until he realized that his personal narrative was all wrong. You are in a similar boat.

Whether they realize it or not, everyone has a personal narrative, a story that they tell themselves about who they are. How do we know whether the narrative is a good one? Think about what a narrator does in a novel:

- A story always makes more sense and is more easily understood when the narrator isn't the main character but rather an omniscient or godly being that tells the story from an objective vantage point (third person perspective). As such, we can trust that the narrator is providing a full and factual account.

- When the narrator is the main character (first person perspective), you will find that the story is more difficult to understand for two reasons: 1) there is a lack of information due to lack of access to other perspectives in the story, and 2) readers must suffer the same distortions in belief and flaws in memory that the character suffers.

Knowing this, I will point out two problems with your narrative...

(3) Lack of Objectivity: The first problem with your narrative is that it is stuck in the first person perspective. You very much lack a bigger picture view of things, which is not an uncommon problem for introverts who struggle with tertiary loop. This is a sign of insufficient extraverted development, i.e., trapped in subjectivity and lacking objectivity. You're unable to see yourself and your situation from any other perspective but your own, to the point where you actively dismiss every other valid perspective.

Lack of bigger picture thinking is often correlated to depression. Your mind basically operates as though having fallen into a pit, with no view of anything but yourself. Spend enough time being stuck with yourself and every little thing that flits through your mind gets amplified manyfold, such that every ache and pain feels much larger than it really is.

If you are INFP, this situation should be remedied through auxiliary Ne development that would grant you a more open-minded, optimistic, resourceful, ambitious, and forward-thinking attitude. It's not about "shoving your feelings aside" but about learning to see things in a more positive light. The cure to being too negative is to learn how to balance it by being more open to the positive.

Healthy NPs never shy away from problems because they trust in Ne, i.e., they exercise their creative problem solving skills as necessary to get over hurdles and obstacles, even transforming them into something positive. So, why aren't you exercising Ne? What have you done to develop Ne? It is troubling (and perhaps a sign of being mistyped) when the auxiliary function is completely absent from your cognition.

(4) Poor Critical Thinking: The second problem with your narrative is that it was spun out of faulty beliefs. You've basically been telling yourself a bogus story, over and over again, and now you believe that every word is true. When a narrative is fundamentally flawed like this, the remedy is to change the story and make it more objective as mentioned above in point #3, as well as more factual.

While there are facts peppered throughout your story, your interpretation of the facts is often incorrect. You want to believe you have a good grasp of the facts, but you don't.

For example, the fact is that the education system, being as big as it is and not having all the resources in the world, cannot be much more than a crude one-size-fits-all approach to learning. As such, it's not going to work equally well for everyone. There are always going to be students with special needs or unique circumstances that won't flow smoothly through the system as planned. If the system isn't working for you, is it something to take as a personal failure and feel deeply ashamed about?

I used to teach critical thinking courses and there was one problem I encountered again and again. Many people think they understand facts, but the truth is that they don't even have basic knowledge of what a fact is.

For example: Yes, it is a fact that you were deprived a healthy childhood. Yes, it is a fact that you had to drop out of your studies. These things happened and they are provable. However, how did you jump from these simple facts to make claims such as "I'm a failure"? Calling yourself a failure isn't a fact but rather a value judgment, and in this case, it is an unjustified value judgment.

An easy way to tell whether someone has poor critical thinking skills is to see whether they can tell the difference between a fact and a value. You aren't able to, and many people aren't able to. Believing that you have a good grasp of the facts when you actually don't is how you end up with faulty beliefs. When you go through life with faulty beliefs, you're much more likely to take the wrong approach, make errors, and suffer from unconscious biases and prejudices.

People aren't born with good critical thinking; it must be learned and practiced. There are lots of resources for improving, and you ought to improve because it's vital for challenging faulty beliefs. However, deeply entrenched beliefs are difficult to change on your own because your ego is invested in them, so it might be a good idea to work with a cognitive-behavioral therapist. They can be your objective party and help point out exactly where your thinking is going wrong. But this is assuming that you're willing to open your mind to other perspectives.

(5) Emotional Reasoning: Yes, you are quite right that you need to improve your emotional intelligence. Throughout your story, I see many thinking errors that lead you to draw incorrect judgments/conclusions. But what lies at the heart of those errors is that your thought process frequently gets hijacked by unresolved negative emotions. Improving your emotional intelligence would not only help improve your mood, it would also help stop emotional reasoning.

In your story, you're trying to link cause and effect, in order to provide an explanation of the factors that led you to this point in life. This seems like a reasonable and logical thing to do. However, people who are prone to emotional reasoning often get cause and effect backwards or misattribute causes. When they're feeling bad, they concoct a story to explain and justify their negative feelings. In effect, they start with a conclusion and then selectively gather evidence to support it, which is backwards from proper logical reasoning that should start with the evidence and then draw the most logical conclusion from it.

For example, you claim that the only thing you're good for is providing emotional support, which implies that you're good at it. How can we prove this statement? One way would be to examine the results of the support you've given. Did people appreciate the support? Did it help them? Did it change them? If so, you can be said to be good at it.

But apparently what they say doesn't count as evidence. Somehow only you have access to the real evidence. Don't you find it odd that so many of your thought processes come back to you having some magical ability to access a deeper truth that others can't see? You call yourself a failure who is unable to do anything right on one hand, but then insist that you couldn't possibly be wrong when it comes to assessing yourself, on the other hand. This is the kind of contradictory thinking that emotional reasoning gets you mired in.

If being able to empathize isn't a skill, valuable both to oneself and others, then all the great friends, parents, caregivers, educators, coaches, doctors, nurses, vets, counselors, therapists, social workers, artists, musicians, writers, librarians, gardeners, and zookeepers should just delete themselves for their utter uselessness to society. Heck, I should just delete my whole blog right now because I don't get anything from writing this for you, yes?

There are absolutely personal benefits to be had from being empathetic. Through supporting and helping others, you can experience:

the dignity of choosing to be an honorable/humane person

the intimacy of deep and meaningful relationships

the satisfaction of reaping the fruits of your emotional labor

the joy of making a positive difference in the world

the awe of witnessing the realization of greater potential

It seems you can't recognize these benefits because they contradict the failure narrative and the negative emotions you're struggling with. Any evidence that makes you feel good about yourself must be rejected, right? Isn't it odd that you've closed off every path to feeling good about yourself except an impossible one, i.e., living up to some imaginary standard of what you believe all people your age should be? It's almost as though you are intent on believing the worst about yourself, so you set yourself up for failure with unreasonable expectations. But this is emblematic of how emotional reasoning messes up the mind.

People aren't born with great emotional intelligence. It's yet another thing you must learn and practice throughout life, that is, if you don't want your emotions to be out of your control. It doesn't matter when you start learning; it only matters that you start.

(6) Changing the Narrative: There are distinct patterns in our personal narratives, which Jung conceptualized as archetypes. Understanding these patterns from a more objective vantage point can help us craft a narrative that serves us better. At the end of the day, you are the one narrating the story, and you could choose to tell a different story at any time.

To give you an example, if I were to analyze your narrative, I'd say that your perspective is that of an "orphan". Orphans see themselves as rejected children, so their approach to the world is one of neediness for love but also deep resentment/anger about being abandoned. Orphans are prone to feeling: unmoored, confused, ashamed, helpless, hopeless, apathetic, fatalistic.

Of course, it's appropriate to feel: unmoored when you don't have a safe and stable home base to operate from; confused when you don't have enough social support; ashamed when you struggle more than others; helpless when you don't know what to do; hopeless when every attempt fails; apathetic when you get disappointed too many times; fatalistic when the odds seem stacked against you.

Nobody is saying that your feelings are invalid. What matters most is how you interpret the feelings and what you do about them. The problem is that, through emotional reasoning, you take your negative feelings and turn them into cynical judgments and then make decisions that leave you perpetually feeling like an orphan.

A narrative becomes sinister when one starts to derive some kind of egotistical benefit from it, which then breeds resistance against changing it. Are you willing to change your narrative at this point?

For example, many orphans keep telling the orphan story because it allows them to benefit from victimhood. Being a victim has its "perks". Victims have the right to self-pity. They have the right to rage against whatever they feel victimized by. They can also expect special treatment or extra care. As such, you will find that orphans often reject love and stay orphans in the end because they don't want to give up the "perks" of victimhood.

I'm not saying this example applies to you, but have you reflected on why you have a pattern of rejecting people's attempts to console you and provide you with evidence that you are actually a good and worthy person? Have you reflected on why you insist on telling the orphan story when other narratives are readily available to you?

For example, you could choose the "misfit" narrative. There are plenty of people, often INFPs, who march to the beat of their own drum and carve out their own unique path to success in life. Or, you could choose the "creator" narrative. INFPs generally love to use their imagination to come up with new and novel ways to live life outside the box. Why is it that you believe there's only one path available to you, that life is only about living up to society's unimaginative standards?

Or, you could embrace the "caregiver" narrative. It could be quite a heroic story, and it might lead you into a very meaningful and fulfilling career. Caregivers change people's lives for the better, which drives tangible and positive societal change. Yet, you reject this story and call caregiving worthless because you believe it is a "weakness" easily exploited. People mistreating you isn't something for you to be ashamed of. It is the perpetrators of abuse that ought to be ashamed and punished for their immoral behavior. How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for someone else's problem?

With regard to dealing with people, it sounds like you haven't learned about healthy boundaries. Boundary setting is a practical problem that can be addressed with practical solutions. Yet you turn it into some kind of grand existential crisis and make sweeping statements about the world. Do you really want to spend your whole life locked away, living in fear? It might feel good right now because it's safe, but in the long run you will actually be wasting away for not challenging yourself to reach your greater potential.

I'm not saying that any of these problems are easy to resolve. But these problems shouldn't be viewed in the traditional sense of needing a "fix" or that something is "wrong" (with you). These kinds of problems I've outlined are actually spiritual calls to change and improve. How do you change? It is through confronting what we lack and what we are afraid of that allows us to grow as human beings.

How can you live up to your own expectations and standards? Maybe a better question to ask is whether you've set the right expectations and standards? If you don't want to always feel bad about yourself, then you have to get up and start doing the things that will lead you to feel better about yourself. And we each have our own path to take to developing self-esteem and self-worth. Once you understand and respect your own individuality, then maybe you can exercise more self-compassion and allow yourself to live and learn at your own pace.

How do you fight back? I don't think it's necessary to "fight". Would you yell and scream and dump a flower in the trash just because it didn't grow as fast as the other seeds you planted? No, hopefully you would give it extra care to ensure that it has everything it needs to grow well. That's how you should be treating yourself. If you didn't grow up in an environment that taught you good life skills, then it is incumbent upon you to learn them as an adult, for the sake of your own well-being.

Life has enough challenges; you don't need to be fighting yourself. Instead of wasting time dwelling in fatalistic narratives, see yourself as a human being who is capable of learning and adapting. Learn to treat yourself well and cut out the noise to focus primarily on picking up the knowledge you need to progress in life, not just academics.

#self esteem #self worth #self compassion #failure #making mistakes #critical thinking #emotional reasoning #ask

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slylock-syl · 29 days ago

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Hey Syllll! Long time, no chat! I just wanted to get this off my chest before i go ham trying to figure out what i wanna commission from you soon.

I have been reading Undersource for years now, and i think we've both come a long way since then! God, that feels weird to say, i'm not even old enough to drink yet lmao. But! I am old enough to spend my money responsibly now, which is nuts given that my responsible spending is now aimed at getting art of my blorbos LOL.

You've grown as an artist so much since i first started reading- i think that was around... the pirate arc? Not sure! But i do remember the early days of me having discord, during the EKD server category era. But anyways, i know the way you drew our favorite skeletons was different back then, and it's all gotten so much smoother in that time. You're also (at least seemingly) taking way better care of yourself! You've set boundaries, you've set more time for yourself and not the blog, and you're still happily chugging along, after all these years. Not to mention you're working on this side story now, which i'm fairly certain you've been looking forward to for a while.

How's that sleeping though? Do you still have the sleep cycle of an austalian? Can't say i'm any better, im slowly becoming nocturnal again lol. Some things NEVER change.

Anyways. All this to say: im really proud to have been part of this little community for so long. To see the comic and its artist come so far. Even if im not a diehard fan anymore, im glad i can still take a little time every weekend to realize "OH, U/S shoulda updated!" and run over here. Thanks for giving me a good starting point of community on this god damned hellsite.

(Here's to sleepy 5 am "you're great" asks LMAO)

sjksdhLKSDJFHG THIS IS SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE OMG-

Hi Azzy! :D I'm glad you still like my work even after all this time! Thank you for sticking around! :D

I have been taking better care of myself these days! I'm (only sometimes begrudgingly XD) going on daily walks (Pikmin Bloom is really helping with that, I love Pikmin they're so cute), and made some new friends! When I first started this blog I was convinced I had to constantly/frequently produce content, and I time went on I slowly realized that wasn't really viable, so I slowly trimmed down the workloads for better manageability, I'd say it's helped a lot! Even if it may not look like it sometimes XD

There was a point before I adjusted my work schedule where I figured out that I may have been riding a creative burnout for a long while, as when I looked back it felt like my work had begun to visually stagnate. I think at the time I was cramming working on the comic update across only 3 or 4 days (Wednesday/Thursday to Saturday mornings, sometimes down to the wire), with several hours of just constant work (plus any distractions and 3 daily asks) because I was procrastinating so badly X'D I'm still recovering from the visual stagnation, but I'm definitely trying to experiment where I can! I may not be the best at it but I hope I'm improving at least ksjdghLSDGH My current schedule is MUCH more spaced out and much more manageable, spanning Sunday to Friday and broken down into stages for each day, and Saturdays are my designated day off~

As for the side story, it's one I've had around for quite a while and have been excited to finally show off! There were a few people who were interested in it when it was first teased, though I've no idea if they're still around, if they are I hope they're enjoying the story so far as well! 💜

Oddly enough my sleep schedule is no longer on Cthulhu Standard Time SKSDJGHDLG We had a TON of construction going on in the house the past few months and it was way too awkward to sleep with a bunch of strangers either being in or near my room, as well as making a LOT of noise sjkdhgLKSDJG There was a brief section of time where I'd actually go to bed at a "normal" time and get up at like, 9 or 10 am X'D Though it's slowly sneaking it's way into afternoons to 3 or 4 AM after I feed the kitties, kinda like my old college schedule XD

Thank you again for liking my work and sticking around! I really appreciate it!! :D

I may not be anywhere near whatever my "peak" was a few years ago, but I'm still happy to keep going for those who still come around! 💜

#Ask #SylAsk #SylChat #This ended up being much longer than I thought it'd be XD

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jsagirly · 5 months ago

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𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧- 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ❥ 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 & 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 × 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐩 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫..

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩.𝟒 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬✔︎𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲,𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠,𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐭, 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝐖𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭! 𝟏.𝟑𝐤

(𝐲𝐞𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐰)

“What colors are we supposed to be getting again?”

“depends on what we decide to make.”

How was it that it was already Thursday? You really let the week slip away from you, and you had signed up for the charity event to crochet things to sell for a children’s hospital.

The only issue? Your projects were due on Friday. As in the next day, Friday. Well luckily you weren’t alone! No because you had dragged Nobara into this with you.

As friends you had a few similarities, one of those being procrastination. So here you were in Hobby Lobby searching for last minute yarn.

“Okay so it says here the only project no one signed up for yet was….”

“Hm? What is it” Nobara says leaning against the shopping cart.

“crocheted fish?.. they’re pretty small but it says 26 of them” you say looking down at your phone and the spreadsheet on it.

“oh that’s cute! Plus we can split it and make 13 each!”

“Hmm it doesn’t exactly list a color though, just says pick anything bright?”

“I call orange! I want to make a bunch of goldfish” She says excitedly.

“alright then I’ll do red!” Putting down your phone, before reaching up to the top shelf to grab the colors you’d picked out.

“It’s too high up! Hold the cart still I’m gonna use it to step up there”

“okay.. but be careful!”

You place one foot on the rim of the cart and the other on a shelf. Your fingertips graze the two bundles you need. And slowly you’re able to slip them down in your arms.

But then as you see Nobara smile and mini cheer your victory. You feel your legs get wobbly and..

“WOAH”

“Y/N?!”

You fall backwards and land straight on your ass. The two bundles land right beside you as Nobara comes to your side to check on you.

“I’m so sorry! I let go for two seconds I shouldn’t have. I'm so so sorry!” She reaches out a hand to help you up.

“oww it’s f-fine” you wince as the pain aggravates as you stand up.

“well.. now I have even more a reason to spend my afternoon sitting down and relaxing?” You say while smiling.

“mhm! I’ll help you with anything, don't worry!”

You reach your apartment and dump out all the supplies on the table. “Okay let’s get cozy we have to make 13 each after all.”

You grab a few blankets and pillows to set on the couch, before you both settle down on it. As well as popping a show onto the tv.

“sooo what’s been going on in your life, we haven’t actually talked about you in a while” Nobara says, still focused on her “project”.

“It’s been calm.. you know like I guess not boring but also not hectic ?”

“And that’s perfectly fine for me.”

“I’m just glad I got to escape the whole small town scene quickly”

“eugh me too! that whole area is a mess” she makes a disgusted face to accompany the severity of her words.

“I could not imagine even one more year with our class.” You say rolling your eyes.

“Highschool really was rough on you wasn’t it..”

you stop for a moment, looking down as your eyes soften. “I guess that’s the right word for it..it was unbearable at the least”

“I wish I could forget most of it, to be honest”

“Really? even all our senior trips!”

“yea.”

The memory resurfaces..senior trips..

——————————————————

It was your first one, your class had decided to go all the way to San Diego. Sunny, lots of beaches, and gorgeous sunsets.

You hadn’t had many friends during that time, most of them had left you after a huge fight with the group.

Nobara being the exception, so when you heard she was going on the trip. You figured it wouldn’t be bad if you tagged along! So you signed up for it on the board outside the gym.

That’s when the “setup” happened. One of the guys in your class came up to you just as you were signing up. He called you cute and asked for your number.

Naivety got the better of you and gladly you handed it over like candy on halloween. You texted him everyday starting then, surprisingly you both shared a lot of the same interests and on late nights you’d stay up talking to him about everything.

You even went as far as telling Satoru about it.

“He’s really sweet! And I think we have a connection.”

He looked down at you and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m serious toru.”

“I don’t know… he has a reputation.”

“Even if I did care about that, he's different.. I could never see him doing that to me”

“Just.”

“Just what?! This is like a rare time a guy finally has interest in me, why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Just be careful is all I’m saying.”

“whatever toru.”

You have to admit you did find it a bit strange he didn’t sit with you on the flight there. But you could understand it, he wanted to sit with his friends and you wanted to sit with Nobara. It was reasonable in your mind

The part about it that you really found weird was that he didn’t even want to hang out on the first day there?

You’d find the reason out very quickly. You and Nobara had just spent your whole first day lounging and relaxing on the beach.

But as the sun set over the beach all was calm. The only sounds in the air was the loud crashing of waves against the sand, each one pushing and pulling. The other sound? Your quiet sobbing.

You pulled your legs in towards your core as you just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed into your knees.

You’d waited till Nobara went back to the hotel, making the excuse that you just wanted to absorb the view a bit longer. Then you just sat there by the sea and cried. That’s when he found you.

“Are you okay?..”

Only the voice of one guy, Gojo Satoru. Stood over you as you sniffled and tried to gain enough composure to talk.

“It was all *hic* a fucking *hic* setup” You tried to croak out while you wiped the tears off your puffy cheeks.

You hear him sigh before he sits down next to you. “I’m not gonna say I told you so right now. Only because I’m more angry at that asshole”

“It wasn’t even *hic* all him it was my stupid friends they told him to do everything” You said, now just peeking your eyes over your knees to look at the ocean .

“They told him everything I liked and what I wanted to hear, they knew it all and they used it against me.”

“I’m so stupid, why, how could I fall for this. I should’ve known it was too good to be true” ducking your head back down”

“Hey no stop, look at me.“

He says before lifting your head up by your chin. “Your not stupid for that you’re so much more than that”

“Those fucking weirdos are stupid for messing with your life like that.”

He sighs “any guy would be lucky to end up with a girl like you. I could list a million reasons why”

“You don’t mean that.” you say gently shifting your head down again.

“No. I’m serious” he says while looking out.

“well..” you shift to look toward him.

“thanks”.

——————————————————

“whaaat?! How come you’ve never told me about that!” She says with a frown.

“I don’t know, I just didn’t want to involve you with them”

“that was sweet of Satoru though. Didn’t know you guys were that close, I mean yea he did apply for the same college and moved here with you but like woah”

“Yea I met him junior year, he’s practically been with me through everything”

“all that time?! How have you not fallen in love with him yet?”

You hesitate before saying “I don’t— I don’t know”

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧.

#satoru gojo x reader #jjk series #spotify #angst #eventual smut #gojo fanfic #gojo x reader #jjk x you #gojo satoru #jjk fanfic #satoru x reader

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sadclowncentral · 2 years ago

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now just who are you larping spinach cultists with.

while desperately trying to finish my essay on ecological futurism during a study session, i read in one book that research indicates that spinach can be used as a lithium substitute in batteries. upon sharing this with my study group, my equally academically exhausted and equally strange best friend asked a question that would shape the next three years and counting of our lives: "if spinach is the future of energy, why the fuck are we in college and not spinach farmers?"

this set in motion a frantic and procrastinating research on everything from spinach cultivation to farm lot prices, and in only a few hours the plan b of farming unfertilized spinach for battery production was cemented. the next day, when asked by our baffled friends why the fuck we were so obsessed with spinach all of a sudden i, with the unhinged hysteric energy that only severe sleep-deprivation mixed with energy drinks and the pressure of a deadline can bring, decided to summarize the previous evening with: "spinach is our beacon of hope." things escalated from there.

i have an entire wall in my apartment filled with art about spinach. there is a spinach mixtape, spinach clothing designs, and a spinach manifesto. for my last birthday, three people independently gifted me spinach seeds. me and the spinage (age of spinach) group meet every second monday to brainstorm new ways to spread the gospel. i spent three hours last night compiling satellite data images of the production site of a german spinach distributor and our enemy #1 (long story) to figure out their harvesting patterns. my real boss at work has asked about "my spinach thing" and i didn't even know where to begin explaining the motivational spinach poster i had put up in my office.

you know, i'm not even sure it is a joke anymore. apart from commiting to the bit with your friends being a joyful activity, spending my free time researching spinach and creating art about it genuinely makes me feel like there is a brighter future and helps relieve my anxiety about failure. should i get fired from my job, my life doesn't end - my life as a spinach farmer begins. by claiming spinach to be a beacon of hope, i spoke it into existence. the future is now, and it's leafy green and rich in nutrients. spinach forever

#if i ever stop posting just know that i either died in a gas explosion or i'm peacefully growing spinach with patrick in kaszuby #none of this is a joke btw. cannot stress that enough

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brokenntable · 2 years ago

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Cravity as Lovers

writing to procrastinate my upcoming A level exams // none of this is proof read whoops

Serim

Boyfriend! Serim is the type of lover that wants to always be around you. don't get me wrong, he definitely promotes you both having other friends and hobbies, but he's just like a puppy that follows it's owner everywhere. Definitely the type to never miss a day of good morning and night texts! he wants to know if you're happy and how he can be there for you without overstepping boundaries. he's definitely the type to brag about you to his family too.

Allen

Boyfriend Allen! is the type of lover that always wants to help you be your best self. if that means helping you clean your room to help you get out of a depressive episode or stay up until the early hours of the morning studying for a test you're really anxious about, Allen is a giver! he's the type of lover that will wait with you until you're ready, or if you need cheering up will do anything and everything in his power to do so even if it means embarrassing himself a little. he won't mind because its all for you.

Jungmo

Boyfriend! Jungmo is the type of lover that always wants to physically comfort you. you might not even need comfort, he just really loves to cling onto you and check you're okay. holds your hand everywhere. he just likes the feeling of proximity. loves to hug you're waist and burying his head into you when no ones around. you both will be watching a show, every now and then you'll watch as he lifts his head up, reads your face and when he's satisfied you're fine carries on what he was doing. would be the most anxious person if you both were opposites sides of a room with other people in it. he'd just rather be near you.

Woobin

Boyfriend! Woobin loves to spend quality time with you. he's at his happiest to sit in a room with you, write new music (using you as his inspiration hehe) and just knowing you're with him is enough. he likes to know that you're still in arms distance and he can look at you at any time without feeling obliged to fill the silence, although I'm sure secretly sometimes he wants you to bug him when he's 'busy' so he can hear your voice and remind him you still love him. he's the type of lover that will go see you at work during his breaks so he can be motived to work harder so he can treat you more.

Wonjin

Boyfriend! Wonjin is not only your boyfriend but also your best friend. Definitely the type to spam your messages with memes he thought were funny. 'who are you meeting? I thought I was your only friend' turns out it was your mum or something anyway and he was right. one day you both realise you have no photos together so you go on adventure to take the most stupidest photos you can so you can actually prove you're dating to other people. the type of relationship other people are jealous of because you guys always laugh the loudest at each others jokes. the type of relationship where when in a room with others, you both have an entire conversation with your just your eyes.

Minhee

Boyfriend! Minhee is the type of lover to remember every small detail about you. he won't remember your birthday and he definitely won't remember your anniversary but he'll remember your favourite flower or the time you spent an extra few minutes too long looking at a pair of shoes and proceed to buy them for you on your birthday. he's the type to take you away from a party early because he knows you hate loud noises and he's not really bothered either.

Hyeongjun

Boyfriend! Hyeongjun is the type who always matches your energy no matter what. when you're happy he's at his happiest. when you're sad that makes him even more sad. he loves surprising you with new dates or gifts, big or small because he loves to see you happy so much. the type to have Pinterest and saves ideas, or if something will catch his eye he'll take a picture and send it to you. you have your happiest highs and biggest laughs with Hyeongjun but you've also had the most comfort when sad from him too. boyfriend Hyeongjun gives the best hugs (canon!)

Taeyoung

Boyfriend! Taeyoung loves everything you love. you're his person, so whatever hobby you're hyper-obsessed with he will also become obsessed with. if you're really big on a current artist or show, no matter if it's not his cup of tea, he will watch/ listen/ research the thing so you're able to talk to someone about it. you're obsessed with bees? every time he sees something bee related he'll at least take a photo and send it to you 'hey, I saw this bubble bee doorstop in the store today. I don't know if you need a doorstop but I bought it you anyway'.

Seongmin

Boyfriend! Seongmin is the type of lover to share his everything with you. his personal life, his favourite moments. Seongmin would be the type of lover to see you as the other half of him. so that means the things he enjoys, his favourite things. if he's enjoying a show he wants you to also watch that show because he wants you to feel the happiness you felt. he's definitely to type to make small matching bracelets and want to wear matching clothes with him.

I am more than happy to expand on any of these btw! I had so much fun writing them <3

I want boyfriend Minhee and Wonjin ngl

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finalfrontierpioneer · 10 months ago

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2023 Fic Recs!

Happy International Fanworks Day everybody!!! To celebrate, have some fic recs! These are some of my favorite works from last year! You know the drill- all completed last year, various ratings/lengths, nothing from multiple authors (although i was SO tempted, especially by @chocolateteapotsvis as always), and in complete random order.

Thank you to all of these lovely authors for brightening up my year! :D And also enabling my procrastination lolol

Halbarry, my otp, of course:

Onward to the Horizon by ChocolateTeapots @chocolateteapotsvis (Teen and up)

Five days, three Kaiju, and eleven collective hours of sleep. It’s one more fight. They just need to pull through. For Halbarry Week Day 4: Fantasy/SciFi

sometimes I feel it comin' on at the wheel by DynamicDuo (XylB) @halifax-jordan (Explicit)

"It'll be okay," Hal soothes. "I don't need to know what's troubling you right now, but whatever it is, it'll be all right." "It focuses…on what…I want," Barry says through gritted teeth, like each word is painful to get out. Or maybe embarrassing? He peeks up at Hal through his fingers with a meaningful look, as if hoping Hal will understand…through osmosis? "Buddy, I can do a lot, but I can't read your mind."

When I Come Back, I'll Wear Your Wedding Ring by ketchup_monthly (General)

hal has some issues he needs to work through, but he loves his boyfriend very much. barry just wants to get married. aka: i wrote yet another halbarry fic furthering my "hal is a huge romantic" agenda

Entropy (Has Got Nothing on Us) by RoboticNebula @roboticnebula (Mature)

Snapshots of Hal and Barry’s life together. For Halbarry week 2023 (25 August – 31 August).

star twinkled skin by Rexs_Blacks (Explicit)

Barry gets stuck in a wall. Hal helps out. Feelings and shit.

Buddie!

glue by ProsperDemeter (Teen and up) -this entire series is SO PERFECT

“It’s just…” Connor shrugged. “No offense, man, but… you’re twenty-five. Do you really want to be spending so much time falling for a guy with a kid?” “I’m not falling for him.” -- A month away from graduating the LAFD Academy, Evan Buckley gets introduced to new recruit Eddie Diaz and things certainly change for both of them after that. -- Another season one rewrite.

I'll Feel You Forget Me Like I Used to Feel You Breathe by turningthepages (Mature)

A car accident leaves Eddie without ten years of memories. He forgets meeting Buck, falling in love, getting married, and bringing two more kids into their life. As Eddie struggles to adjust to this new life, Buck struggles with being in love with someone who doesn't want to remember him. Oh, and they have really cute kids. or Just another Hollywood Amnesia story the fandom probably didn't need but lived in my head rent free for too long.

help me hold on to you by Ink_Dancer (Mature)

"You doing okay, Buck?" Eddie asked. Buck snorted. Loudly. It echoed. Eddie clicked his tongue. "Okay." He started moving again, coming over to Buck's side and starting to gather up an armful of takeout cartons. "What're you doing?" Buck asked. "I'm taking care of you," Eddie said firmly. "Because you're not doing a very good job." Or: Buck recovers slowly from the ladder truck, the Buckley-Diaz family goes stargazing, and Eddie and Buck get stuck in an attic during a house fire.

to your front door by hammersmiths (General)

Pepa’s been eyeing him all evening, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when she says, “Why aren’t you dating Eddie?” And yet Buck still nearly veers the car straight off the road.

maybe it's the way you lean on his shoulder by allyasavedtheday @littlespoonevan (Teen and up)

“Eddie,” she blurts. “Hi. Sorry. I didn’t realise you were here.” The sound of her voice makes him move and he quickly sets the knife down, offering her a warm smile. “Hey, Maddie. Don’t apologise; I’m not interrupting your schedule, am I?” “Oh no,” Maddie shakes her head quickly, waving the idea away. “The uh- the schedule’s been retired. I was just gonna make Buck dinner but-“ “Looks like we had the same idea, huh?” Eddie replies with a half-laugh. “Well, you’re welcome to join us. I’m making lasagne. It’s not quite on the level of Bobby’s famous four-cheese recipe but Buck’s still on a comfort food kick.” * In which Maddie realises there might be more to Buck and Eddie's relationship than she'd originally thought.

Stucky:

Werewolves in the Workplace by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) @leveragehunters (Teen and up)

SHIELD was the only intelligence agency that assigned werewolf and vampire agents to work together in the field, but the program had been a staggering success. They compensated each other’s weaknesses, complemented each other’s strengths, and a werewolf could feed a vampire and shake off the effects faster than ordering a pizza. Bucky knew all that. What he didn't know was why this particular vampire, one Agent Steve Rogers, was holding out a protein bar. They were perched in the rafters of a warehouse, waiting for not-overly punctual arms dealers to show up and deal arms, had been stuck up here for a couple of hours, but none of that explained vampires suddenly offering snacks. In his near decade as a werewolf in SHIELD, Bucky had worked with a lot of vampires, and they all tended to be pretty much the same. Steve Rogers was different, didn't fit the vampire mould, and Bucky couldn't quite figure out why. Not that it really mattered. Steve was just someone he was occasionally paired with on SHIELD assignments. It wasn't like he was going to have any effect on Bucky's life.

Waking the Fire in Me by humapuma (Explicit)

Steve’s knees nearly went out from under him, but he grabbed onto the table to stay upright. He whined – he couldn’t help it. His chest cracked open, breaking him down until he was sixteen years old again, thin and sickly. The pale grey of those eyes was so familiar, but Steve hadn’t seen it, hadn’t even thought to look for it. How? A voice screamed inside. How did I not see? His entire being trembled as he whispered, “Bucky?” The Soldier’s usually cold eyes changed then, something flashed in them as his nostrils flared, harshly inhaling Steve’s scent before he said the words that finally made his buckling knees give out, forcing Steve to the ground. “Who the hell is Bucky?” A ghost found his way to the Avengers, asking for help - a ghost of a man long thought dead.

the time that's slipping by its_tortle @its-tortle (Teen and up)

“Hello?” she calls. Steve holds his breath again, even as he feels pressure build up behind his eyes. Because that’s his mother’s voice, and he hasn’t heard in twenty one (conscious) years. He doesn’t dare move. OR 'If Steve was going to travel back in time for anything before returning to his own timeline, it would be to see his mom again one last time'

Tongue in Cheek by rohruh (Explicit)

“No, no,” Bucky leans into his space, close enough that Steve can feel the warm tufts of his breath against his cheek, “go on.” “It’s just,” Steve’s not quite sure how to phrase this. He’s not sure what his motivation was in starting this whole conversation, really. “I guess I wish that I could kiss like that, is all.” Bucky stares at him, his eyes bright as the warm glow from the streetlight dances off of them. “I could teach you.” Steve’s mouth goes dry. “Teach me?” “Yeah,” Bucky snatches the joint out of his hand and leans back against the wall. “Give you a kissing lesson, or whatever.”

Backhoe by ZenaidaMacrouras @zenaidamacrouras1 (Explicit)

Steve Rogers is a seasoned activist and not at all afraid to get arrested while protesting the building of a pipeline. HOWEVER he is TERRIFIED when he realizes he’ll be chained to the same backhoe as Bucky “very handsome southern boy who also plays guitar and struts like a panther in his very tight, worn thin blue jeans” Barnes. Our brave, tiny Steve will find out once and for all: Can you catch on fire from blushing over your crush? May Contain: Extended descriptions of how to get arrested while chained to a backhoe, copious amounts of sisters, Appalachian accents, cheerful silliness interspersed with tragic background realness. Pining with a happy ending. Chicken related controversy. Tragic background realness mainly consists of parents passing away, because who doesn’t love adult orphans. Discussion of funerals. Very brief homophobic interaction in chapter 18 (marked in the chapter intro notes). There is no violence, but there are a few moments where you might think there might be violence. Overall this is a romance not a gritty, hard hitting documentary.

Various pairings:

Till You Find Your Dream by Kyele @timeforalongstory (Explicit) (Brudick)

You know, my child, that the orphanage cannot continue to support you once you become an adult.” The abbess sighs. “There is one path that is always open to you. You may choose a holy vocation, and take orders. The Sisters of Perpetual Grace will accept you as a postulant if you choose.” Dick had known to expect this. “Thank you, Reverend Mother,” Dick says respectfully, “but I cannot follow that path.” The Mother Superior nods. He looks unsurprised. “Then perhaps,” he says, “you would be interested to hear of another opportunity.” From the papers on his desk, the abbess removes a single sheet. “Are you familiar with Captain Wayne?” Dick accepts a position as governess to eight war-orphans, adopted by millionaire and WW1 flying ace Captain Bruce Wayne. The rest is inevitable.

Seven by HollyDB (Explicit) (Spuffy)

It's been months since Willow almost ended the world, and a tense summer has turned into an ominous fall in Sunnydale. Spike is back from wherever and acting weirder than usual, a new threat is rising that—for once—doesn't seem to stem from the hellmouth, and Buffy has no idea who to trust or what to believe. She also doesn’t have the luxury of time to figure it out. Some things never change.

Seven Lessons by Tessabeth (Mature) (Cazriel)

At Windhaven, teenage Cassian's in trouble again. As punishment he's paired with the strange shadowsinger who hangs around Devlon's headquarters. 40,000 words, ten chapters, complete. Some timeline tinkering. “You,” says Devlon, pointing at Cass, “need to learn self control. He’s got it. And you,” pointing at Azriel now, “need to learn to use those pathetic curtains you’re carrying around on your back, and this one knows how. So there you go. You’ve got a week. At the end of the week, I want both of you flying, and both of you able to put up a solid shield without blasting your comrades over a cliff. Now fuck off.” Azriel bends down to the Commander and murmurs something urgently in his ear. Tendrils of shadow writhe around his jaw. “No. No, I’ll manage it without you. I’ve let this go on too long; you’re too old for this bullshit. You can come back when you can fly. Go on, fuck off. And shut the door behind you.” Back out in the gelid dusk, the two look at each other warily. Azriel still says nothing. Cass sighs. “See you in the morning? Meet by the mess?” Azriel ducks his head in agreement, and disappears down an alleyway. It’s going to be a long week.

Desperate Times by Eienvine (General) (Sifki)

Sif sees the man’s lips curve up in a sharp, cruel smile. “I have long dreamed of seeing Odin on his knees, begging for his life. I cannot have that, but I can at least see his son beg for someone else’s life.” He won’t do it, Sif is certain; if there is one thing that can confidently be said about Loki, it is that he is horribly proud. And proud men do not beg. Not even to save her life.

Sit, Stay, Speak by Fenris13 @ragnarokhound (Explicit) (Jaytim)

“He’s not here. Just his suit,” he tells Babs, gathering up the costume. “The apartment’s untouched, but downstairs looks like a hurricane went through it.” There’s a crackling hiss through the receiver as she sighs, tense. “Shit. Okay. Is there anything—?” “That’s not all,” he interrupts, standing up with an apprehensive look at his unexpected new companion. “There’s a dog.”

and tell the ones you love (you love them) by LadyMerlin (Teen and up) (Jaytim)

Weeks pass and the clan remains occupied with the chaos that is Gotham. It’s no busier than usual, but Bruce feels himself tiring easily, still recovering from his involuntary jaunt through the timestream. Everyone is remarkably kind to him, giving him time and space to recover. Unfortunately, all that time gives him, well… a lot of time to think. To consider. To analyse the changes that have occurred during his absence. There are new alliances, new tensions, shifting fault lines in the geology of his family. He reminds himself that this is the best case scenario; that everyone is still alive and well, that things could have gone much worse. But he can’t help but feel there’s something he’s still missing. Something he hasn't been told. AKA: the one where Bruce learns how to use his words, and tries not to be too nosy about his children's love lives.

those kind of friends by gabrieeella (Mature) (Jeronica)

He remembered the first time he’d seen her wear her hair like that, the way it’d unsettled him a little. It was so Betty-like, and yet not Betty-like at all. Betty’s ponytail moved like spilled sunlight. Veronica’s swung around like a guillotine. Or, a series of unexpected late-night encounters force an ever-distant Jughead and Veronica to explore who they really are (and could be) to each other.

you dug my heart a grave by jilliancares @jilliancares (General) (Spideypool)

He’s laying there, groaning and in pain and clutching his ribs, but even worse— [Really? Is it really worse? Give it a good, hard think and tell me if this is worse.] —but even worse, sparks are flying. Literally. Or: Wade realizes that Spidey is his soulmate.

#fic recs #2023 fic recs #halbarry #buddie #stucky

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