#but this is the stuff that kind of makes the context better
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I have been thinking about constructing a language around the idea of a sort of human-computer pidgin, which isn't quite the same as binary cant due to not being designed for a dystopian setting and for attempting to accommodate the human side of things a little better, but close enough that I have thoughts on this. First, if I were to guess at what such a system would use, my first thought would be a dual-tone multi-frequency keying like in phone landlines, though if single-tone encodings are easier for humans to distinguish by ear I can get why that would be recommended instead. Another thing is that it might be fun to look at the Sarus and Solresol languages, which not only lean further into the musical angle offered by a two-octave range but also, by having seven written characters, can fit into three bits with room for a space, or maybe an escape character in case you want to have the option of throwing control codes in there or something. Now, three bits is less than four, and including parity in the fourth bit doesn't really make much sense in this case because you'd just be dropping the use of certain tones altogether. I guess the easiest way to handle that would be to encode pairs of character in base64 to use ASCII like you would for English? And if you're using ASCII, that could allow for using data-serialization formats encoded in it (most of the ones marked as human-readable ) to structure statements something like {YOUR-MISSION:{DESTROY:{COMMUNICATIONS-TOWER,GENERATOR,AERIAL-LIFT}SECURE:{LANDING-SITE}}} depending on choice of serialization format, which is presumably up to either whatever seems appropriate for conveying the type of nerd a given admech is or just whatever's easier for you to deal with personally. Binary formats would presumably also be used, but I'm not sure how useful they'd be in a roleplaying context. Some type-length value protocols might also be useful to look at.
Also, incidentally: If you want a more machine-looking writing system to go with it, post code style barcodes like POSTNET and RM4SCC use tall and short lines for one and zero instead of wide and narrow lines, which could make them easier to jot down by pen if you want to do that. I have been working on character sets which take barcodes like that and connect the lines in a character with squiggly bits so that the grouping of them is a lot more readable, but I don't know if that kind of thing would fit with the tone of adeptus mechanicus or if they'd prefer to either use the unmodified barcodes or just directly write 1 and 0s, base64 characters, Morse code dots and dashes, or whatever. But since I don't mind if anyone else uses, adapts, or alters these scripting systems, I may as well share it here while I'm at it. Note that I haven't really thought about certain details, like what kind of endianness is most appropriate and stuff like that, so if that's something you care about, feel free to remap in addition to any other changes that you feel might be needed:
I still didn't remake that direct adaptation of RM4SCC that I forgot to save earlier, so I'll have to remember to post that in a further reply later.
I'm also thinking about pronunciation systems that fit the human-computer intermediate language I'm going for, but I don't think anything I have in mind is particularly admec flavored, so I'll save that for another time.
I’m curious how binary cant work for admech since day 1. At first, I thought it’s just high speed alternation in frequencies of sounds to denote 0 and 1, just like how computer cable does with voltage. So I wrote a python script to convert natural language to binary code then to sound based on the idea (so that I can curse in binary in ttrpg). However, since the human auditory cortex can only distinguish sound about 20ms apart, the current commonly used binary coding method (Unicode) that requires 8 bits to encode for one letter (16 bits for one character in Mandarin) would make binary cant less efficient than natural language through the bare ear. As a result, binary cant users not only need vocal implants but also auditory implants to receive info (or perhaps cortex implants to decode). Based on these assumptions, binary cant would be able to happen in sound frequencies not perceivable by the original human cochlea so techpriests conversation can be extremely quiet. And more efficiently, just through data cables.
Or it could be the other way around, scientists might develop more efficient binary language without basing it on the symbol system of natural languages (I’m not that familiar with linguistics so I don’t know if this is possible or not).
However, the sound techpriests made in the game mechanicus doesn’t sound like my assumption. There are definitely more than 2 pitches used in the conversations (which makes it less binary...) and they seem to be faster than natural language. I still couldn’t figure out what’s happening here. Do the twisting pitches actually encode more than one bit? Is binary cant actually an analog signal encoding a digital signal? Or is the sound effect just mean to sound better for the game?
The binary curse program (turn the sound on!):
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Hi! Ok so at one point I remember when answering an ask you said that when making animal based characters to just stay away from making any rat ones because of negative connotations (which I totally get)
So my question is would it be ok to have a whole humanoid race that is mildly based on mice? They look like humans but their ears vaguely look mouse-ish, they have tails, and their feet are sort of like paws. I am considering two different options with the tails in case I should stay away from the mouse thing, one looks like a mouse tail (kind of the main thing making them mice themed) and the other is a similar shape but fluffy especially at the end (A little like some versions of unicorn tails I've seen)
I would like to include disabled characters so if the mouse thing still isn't recommended I'll redesign them
Hello!
Most of the time when we advise that people avoid a certain trope/concept, it isn't a complete ban on it. It's generally more of a "be careful with how you approach this" type thing.
For example, we often advise against making a disabled character that's a villain because of their disability. If your only disabled character is a villain with chronic pain that kills people because their disability stops them from their dream job, that's not great. BUT if you have this same character and you also have a wheelchair user who runs the tech stuff for the hero side (Oracle-style, for my DC folks) and a Deafblind hero who leads the charge against the villains and an autistic sidekick and an amputee henchman for the villain and several able bodied villains and so on, then its less of a problem. It might not be gold medal representation but because you're no longer equating disability with tradegy and hatred and instead showing that villain as part of a cast with diverse stories and, more importantly, as a person with their own unique experiences, it's much better.
This is all a very long way of saying that most tropes that are generally best avoided can still be okay in some contexts.
In this case, having this whole species is completely fine and it's great that you want to include disabled characters! I see nothing wrong with this.
If you had a world where the characters were all anthropomorphic animals and the only rat character was also your own disabled character, that'd be a bit of a problem because it's singling out your disabled character -- presumably to poke at their disability.
In the concept you've presented, though, being part of this species is a trait all (Or most) of your characters share. Which is fine!
As a few final notes of caution:
If you're worried about certain unintended connotations or messaging coming across, it's generally best to spread your cast out as much as possible. By this, I mean that if you have other species in this world, don't have all your disabled characters be part of this one species. Likewise, don't have every member of this species be disabled. Instead, consider having your disabled characters be from different species. For example, have an amputee character be from this species but have a blind character be from another species.
Certain specific disabilities do have individual associations to watch out for. Be careful making associations between a character with a cleft lip and hares/rabbits (Because of the derogatory term "harelip" that has been used). Likewise but to a lesser extent, be careful with associations of blind people and moles, mice, and bats. This is because of the naked mole rat, the Three Blind Mice, and "blind as a bat" respectively. There are a few of these out there.
This is less of a warning and more just something to consider but keep in mind how their animal traits can be impacted by their disability. Would a character that's paralyzed have use of their tail? Would a blind character trip over their tail or would their same "sense of self" extend to the tail like it would an arm or leg? How would a character in a wheelchair adapt their chair to their tail? Etc.
Hopefully some of this is helpful!
Cheers,
~ Mod Icarus
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trigun college au reference collection
here is all of my carefully curated college au content that i hope will make the story come more alive !
playlists
vash / meryl / wolfwood / milly
fashion board
tumblr tag
character information
Meryl Stryfe
21 yo
4'11"/150 cm
Junior
Major: Journalism
Minor: Sociology (dabbles in psychology as well)
Vash Saverem
22 yo
6'3"/190 cm
Senior
Major: Biology (Xenobiology - plans to be a plant engineer. Focusing on plant communication for his thesis)
Minor: None
Milly Thompson
19 yo
6'1"/185 cm
Sophomore
Major: Photography
Minor: History (considering a double major)
Nicholas D. Wolfwood
23 yo
5'11"/180 cm
Super Senior
Major: Something in Education (has switched his major at least five times)
Minor: no time, but has enough credits
Nai Savarem
22 yo
6'3"/190 cm
Graduated with his Bachelors
Major: Double Major in Biology and Chemistry (finished in 3 years and is currently in his first year of medical school)
Minor: None
#trigun college au#just trying to compile stuff#ill probably return and add more to this#but this is the stuff that kind of makes the context better#some of it will be mentioned#but id rather focus on other stuff int he story#trigun#vashmeryl#fic#trigun fanfiction
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what if i said i actually love too weird to live, too rare to die and think it’s underrated. what then.
#idk at least the time i’ve lurked around p!atd fandom stuff it feels like no one ever brought up this album 😭😭#vices and virtues too but at least then there was still leftover ryan ross scraps to hold onto#but like. idk i like the dark las vegas vibes of twtltrtd#i’m not the biggest fan of this is gospel but once you get past it it’s got some bangers ngl#one super minor gripe with the album is that i think the brobecks version of far too young to die is better than the twtltrtd version#it’s minor but it’s true. listen to both versions of the song and you’ll understand#my only real complaints though are just with the lyrical content of girls/girls/boys and casual affair#i like the songs themselves but the lyrics….. who let them cook actually#what was brendon doing. why are you singing about affairs like that whilst you’re a fully married man. ????#but honestly the transition towards the end of the album to more romantic songs is nice#i think it fits well and is a good way to slowly die the energy down without completely squashing it#the end of all things is genuinely a beautiful song but an even more beautiful ending to the album#the lyrics are brendon’s wedding vows and the piano is very nice#i like the effects on the vocals and i think they were a good choice to make everything even more cohesive#it doesn’t take away from the emotional value of the song and it also makes it fit better on the album than if it were just a regular#kind of piano ballad#but then also having collar full be the song leading up to it? even better#i fucking love collar full and agh. having it lead into the end of all things is perfect for it#it’s fun on its own but it’s even better in context i think#anyways. too weird to live too rare to die is an alright pop rock album. go listen to it if you want#me.txt
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AND ANOTHER PERSON
IM BEING BULLIED
#harry potter#harry potter magic awakened#hpma#magic awakened#George Weasley#trump#us politics#fuck trump#why you do this#why you do my mans dirty#my poor husband#my husband#done so dirty#hp#hp meme#Harry Potter meme#discord shenanigans#out of context discord#Discord stuff#WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME#George would make a FAR better president#the only orange man I like#why god why#politics#convicted felon trump#Severus Snape#Snape#the wrong kind of disability awareness
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Boy King Seb :D
#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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To Be Loved: Ch12
Chapter 12 | Read from the Beginning
Before she was born, it was foretold that Princess Lothiriel would suffer greatly from the love of men. Her mother's dying words were words of power, to keep her daughter safe from suffering, to never trust the love of men. Now the Princess Lothiriel has become the Queen of the Riddermark. And though her heart is filled with love, will she learn to accept the love others have for her? An Eothiriel + Post-War-of-the-Ring Fic
New chapter up :) We're (finally???) getting to the more meaty part of the actual plot now haha. Only taken me like 4.5 years 😳😅😬
Anyway, would love to hear y'all's thoughts!!
#eothiriel#eomer/lothiriel#eomer x lothiriel#lothiriel of dol amroth#eomer eadig#lotr#lord of the rings#tolkien fanfic#tolkien fic#lotr fic#lotr fanfic#lotr fanfiction#my writing#i'm actually a bit proud of how this chapter turned out...#also: Thank you to all the kind messages on my most recent post :')#not to be tmi but like within 24 hours of making that post i got my period so like... yeah lol feeling a bit better now#I have pretty severe PMDD for context which is why some of you might notice i sometimes make posts like that like clockwork lol :')#It's funny i'll be severely depressed or worse for a week or two. not sure why. all the bad stuff. And then my period comes and I'll just#be like 'oh how didn't i see the REASON before now'#as if this hasn't been happening every month since i was like 13 😅🤔#anyway. i need to develop a keen sense of self awareness so i stop whining about stuff online#note to self: stop being a lil bitch!#that or Finally commit to getting my ovaries yanked out 😬#anyway--feeling a touch better now that my period is underway#but i still appreciate the encouraging and thoughtful comments#even if i feel a lil guilty bc it the hormones talking more than I'd like to admit :|#tho to give myself a little consideration i suppose it does truly feel real in the moment
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#poetry#Letting it stand alone#Isn't it weird how pictures of text do way better than text alone?#Yes it is weird#I think this is less true on Tumblr#but it's true everywhere#I've measured#Other weird stuff like a follow-on comment exclaiming how much they like it also helps but I hate including those#I like letting it stand alone#and then typing a million tags but that's more something I have to do sometimes#Kind of wish I could hide the tags behind a cut but hey most of them are so that's cool#this was posted in the context of voting and otherwise trying to unfuck things being ungently reamed by the political climate worldwide#which maybe was always this bad I wouldn't know#I saw a post the other day about a plug-in that would filter things on multiple (not Tumblr) websites to help cut out politics#and some were mad about it because politics are important#and others were frustrated because USA-centricism means they're innundated with stuff about Ohio and they're in Bacharach#and probably their voter registration being yanked from under their feet a week ago isn't a thing that happened if they're in Germany#we're all just microbes inhabiting forests of mold on the outside of a dessicated tangerine#and we should make the most of it and help our fellow living things do the same#so that means I think we shouldn't just remember the children#but also the cats and the beetles and the coral reefs and even#perhaps#our neighbors#whom it's hard to love sometimes but so many of them have lovable aspects#and they're each the hero of their own story and they're each unreliable narrators and it's not something we can overcome easily#hang in there neighbor#I'll put out as much of the fire as I can
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I've been thinking abt my critter dupes some more and it was all fun and games until I remembered that I made Mi-ma a beeta and hm. Whoops. Uh oh. (<- Considered the implications for more than 2 seconds)
#rat rambles#oni posting#it's not Too bad. shes fine. but hoo boy. the images my mind showed me were not fun.#it's ok she just needs to keep being the farmer cook that she is and gather stuff for her fellow dupes and itll all be fine#Id provide further context but then itd become too clear what Im talking abt so how abt I dont#its ok shes ok nothing bad happens to her shes just a bit quirky thats all#and even if things did go a lil wonky it wouldnt be irreversible just a bit of an issue for a bit#shes just a silly billy who's genetic makeup is a series of contradictions and anomalies#I also have it as a thing where most of the colony see her as like a baby sister since she was the first duplicant printed after quinn left#so the dupes who were already there were like oh shit there's a new one and quinn isn't here to help them adjust we have to do a good job#in their place and make sure she feels the security they helped us feel while we built this colony together#and meanwhile mi-ma was just sitting there having the joints of an 80 year old woman and the energy of a young and spry bee#some of the younger dupes in that colony actually dont like her much because they see her as kind of spoiled#liam and leira especially constantly give her gifts and let her do things she rly shouldn't do#they eventually get better abt it when it actually starts to threaten her physical well-being but it sort of starts to swing in the other#direction after a while with leira especially being rly obsessive with making sure shes not doing anything that could cause health issues#ada has some light beef with mi-ma but she starts to turn around on her a bit once she learns abt some of the stuff shes gone through#after a lil while they get to be bug buddies who are experiencing joy and whimsy together watching paint dry or smth idk
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I love Crossroads for the simple fact that it's basically slapping you with an illustration of how easily humans can change and how fragile even the strongest of them are deep inside but framing it as two high schoolers getting a metaphorical divorce. And even that I can't really make fun of because Rei and Keito were both lowkey screaming out to the other for help that the other couldn't give (Rei just wanting some peace, someone to actually look at him as an equal, but instead deciding to betray Keito; Keito sincerely just wanting to help out a friend and make the school better but being manipulative about it). And I really am glad it cut to the present to show that they eventually found the people that they needed back then, even if it took a while for the relationship as a whole to get there.
#i dont know guys#something about crossroads and deadmanz makes me think of a more self-contained war#like the yumenosaki war that is#its about the way keito put in so much effort that was denied because he went about it wrong#and how rei wanted to be seen as human and maybe build a friendship but could not let himself be used like that...#and theyre like...16 too its insane#enstars#ensemble stars#fandom spamdom#stuff i say#you know crossroads was my very first reminiscence story (actually the only reminiscence story so far) i read#i had absolutely zero context for it too just kind of was curious since it seemed to be the first on the timeline#but thinking back on it now it had so much#koga and adonis and souma too...as well as kaoru just being all awkward and stuff#undead and akatsuki make SUCH good narrative foils when you think about it#anyway im so glad this got an anime. cant really watch it until i find some translations but the few clips ive seen of it are so cool#they really are just getting better and better at animating....
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*through gritted teeth* ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you people can—
#I need to stop seeing douma/akaza stuff like. now.#I’ve tried okay I’ve tried to even mildly like it and nope#I can’t do it. I cannot do it whatsoever#I JUST DONT GET IT I DONT GET IT I DONT GET ITTTTTTTR#I know it’s my thing where I viscerally dislike ships that are based on two characters#who are on the same side but STILL fucking hate each other#because literally no matter what it just feels so weird and forced to me#like they are on the same side. they have similar morals already. if they were gonna like each other AT ALL… they would#but yeah no I’m hffjdjdksk I can’t do that one anymore#and it used to be such a rare pair so it was really easy to avoid and now I’m seeing A LOT more of it and it’s getting more difficult#and I dunno part of it is the idea of shipping douma with ANYONE#like I can’t stand him being shipped with shinobu kanae or kotoha either#his canon interactions with them have just tainted it sooooo much for me#and like yeah rocks at glass houses I’m aware I’m the enemies to lovers weirdo who ships characters who keep trying to kill each other#but mannnnnn something about the idea of shipping a guy who terrified a woman so wholly she threw her baby off a cliff because that was a#better alternative to him getting his hands on her child? yeeeeaaaaahhhhh… it’s not gonna be for me folks#it is NOT a kind of power dynamic I am gonna enjoy when it’s that particular angle#the context of their relationship cannot be that removed to me#it’s just one of my person nope. can’t fucking do it don’t fucking like it kinda makes my skin crawl things#which in a way is unfortunate#cuz I actually do enjoy douma as a character a lot and I can enjoy certain explorations of him#where he actually DOES learn to be in tune with his emotions again and learn to care for someone#but I rarely see it done well#and when I see ANY of that so called ‘development’ linked to any of these ships#it’s usually just akaza or Kotoha or shinobu getting over their hatred/fear of him in way too fast and highly unrealistic ways#while douma does very little to actually develop himself he just kinda is Automatically better because someone loved him back#(in a way that’s usually out of character for everyone involved lol)#esp when any of these ships are showcased in a REALLY cutesy way like again it’s just not for me#I don’t think I can ever really jive with it#oh well. I should just block some more tags I just needed to complain a bit first lol
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watching matt smith era doctor who is fun but i do feel like im constantly dodging the Sexism & Heteronormativity Bullets the matrix style. its okay amy and rory i know you guys wouldnt REALLY be the domineering woman whipped man straight couple stereotype
#i love the Doctor Character Analysis in amys choice#and. as a moment in The Story That Is Being Told#this ep as a moment where amy makes it clear that yes she loves rory she will pick him above everything else#thats good#But the………………..#in the context of their relationship when they do this kind of stuff with amy & the doctor it just feels weird.#not the worst ever but weird and not at all necessary#anyway when it comes to the doctor competing w someone else for the attention of a companion#robot of sherwood did it better ❤️#basilposting
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[ ✨ ] what aesthetics or symbols do you reference when writing your muse? are these backed up by canon, if your muse comes from a canon? is there any specific relevance to these choices?
Hm. I mean, she's turning into a demon, so... I like themes that tend to surround that kind of thing. But many years ago, I represented a sort of dream/mindscape as being rather similar to the Labyrinth ballroom - a round ballroom made of mirrors, very busy with tables of partyware, and masked dancers (herself included) spinning all about, but every time she saw herself in one (or more) of the mirrors, she saw a cream-coated lioness looking back. She's long feared the darker parts of herself, and it ended up being a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy! I'd like to come back and visit this imagery now - after all, if the Lioness is loose, where's the Flower Girl?
She's a noble, and she led a sheltered life - and even in her own mind, she still felt trapped - keeping it all in until she felt ugly (or 'feral', ha!) on the inside - and I love that kind of imagery.
(I don't rightly know if there's any other symbols or the like in the writing - though I used to have a trend of naming my writings after songs? And still do at times! :P)
#thanks for asking!#I don't know if that's the right kind of 'aesthetic'#but I genuinely can't come up with anything I might use as a trend other than just my writing style#I try to keep my writing readable to anyone who might come upon it at any time#and referencing things readers don't know about as a trend could be disruptive?#IDK I have to reference things sometimes that I can't explain in a first person piece and always feel bad there's context missing even then#Maybe one day I'll stop being lazy and make an AO3 and compile all my writings for all of my OCs#including old Pally!Lily stuff that's deep in my Gdocs bowels#yes it was an obvious theme#but what's better for a jaded noble elf than a mindscape based on being trapped in nobility hell - the faux niceties and useless foppery#yes the masks change based on state of mind#scary masks are prime aesthetic come on
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Some of the most important parts for me:
“Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.”
"Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction."
"Smalltalk is a social script of exchanging trivial conversation about non-personal topics in order to pass a brief period of time together.
This sort of conversation is about figuring out whether you want to get to know each other better, so it's kind of a behavioral test. It's assessing "can I have a pleasant, brief conversation with this person?" because people usually want to know if the answer to that question is "yes" before they share more details of their lives."
"If the person speaking responds to your sharing of personal information with a request for more information (asks about your sister) or by sharing some of their somewhat more personal information (roses are blooming) they might be interested in continuing to gradually share more information. If they respond with more smalltalk, they probably aren't interested in becoming closer friends ... [but] maybe at some point they'll share something with you and it'll be your turn to decide if you want to get to know them better."
"Once you've seen someone several times, you will begin to know little things about them. ... If you want to become friends with them, ask them about these things and offer information in return. Start casually and don't pry for more information, and be sure to share about yourself as well. Eventually you will get to the point that you can have a comfortable conversation on topics of shared interest for at least a few minutes."
"If they agree to meeting up for the thing, they are interested in continuing to develop the friendship. If they don't want to meet up then continue at the same level of interaction as before and perhaps later on down they line they'll ask you if you want to plan a meetup."
"Once you have hung out on purpose a few more times you've got two choices: set a regular meetup, or hang out elsewhere. Setting up a regular meetup is the relatively casual option here; it keeps things in the same location and keeps the context of the friendship the same while still increasing interactions and intensifying the relationship. You can have perfectly good, if somewhat casual friends, who you see regularly in one place and rarely outside of that place."
"Hanging out in a new place changes the context of the relationship; suggest a hangout in a place that makes sense for the mutual interests you've learned over the previous months of getting to know the person."
"If you’re talking about the weather as in the first example, but you mention where you grew up and what the weather was like, that can be inspiration for the other person to also talk about where they’re from! But, unlike with a question, if they don’t want to share that information they can usually dodge it without having to make it extremely obvious that that’s what they’re doing."
Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?
Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.
It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.
I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.
If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.
Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.
In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.
Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.
This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.
If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.
In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.
#this is legit the best advice i've ever seen for making friends#i can just SEE my problems in (particularly irl) friendship making now#combo of avoiding going beyond polite small talk my end out of Fear and Shame and not doing outside-of-context meetups bc Covid and Fear 2#i'm Very good at asking questions and inviting people to talk about themselves in a way that people clearly enjoy#but then it comes to them asking / me sharing and I shy away#which leads to me making a lot of “friends” who are quite self-centred and don't care to ask questions about me or stop dominating a convo#and other ND people who struggle with this stuff and actually enjoy/haven't been shamed out of infodumping#probably bc i (at least initially) feel more comfortable in those situations#but the ones who are naturally better at respecting my boundaries / are better at receptive conversation probably notice the shying away &#which is a P r o b l e m when either they're the self-centred kind or they're kind and just ND and i don't know how to change the balance -#- of the interactions once i'm more comfortable#<_>#i also struggle with not lying in the light conversation bc i know my truthful answers are not light and bubbly and easy#i don't mean 'how are you' 'not ok' i mean like 'what do you do for work' 'i work for my mother in her business' 'what's that like' 'awful'#😂#& i get all fight/flight when asked these questions that i immediately get flustered/scared and trip over my answers and EXTRA lie#how 2 balance between truth and scare off people - lie and make false friends#also the difference between direct cues and indirect cues is AMAZING to read about thank u so much#this whole post puts words and language to things I've felt and known without a language for them this whole time#guess i'm learning suddenly why people tend to find me very likeable but then I don't make actual friends lmao. and also why self-centred -#- people go NUCLEAR when I get fed up with being their perfect audience/moodboard & start putting boundaries in place. bc i've been sO gOod#this also rly helps explain to me why some ND people seem to go dead silent when I do an indirect cue rather than share Their thing about i#also the idea that this post is full of ableism is the most batshit thing known to man#THIS IS LITERALLY A GUIDE FOR DISABLED PEOPLE#resources
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I will also defend trans men here, I see vitriol about both just by different people.
Men, and women keeping proximity to men in media/political circles, target trans women for being predators and for mutilating themselves
Same for trans men actually, just by women and men keeping a proximity to those women. This one is a little weird though, because trans men post transition are predators and trans men pre transition are always victims who are tricked into mutilating themselves.
This isn't just on tv, this is stuff my neighbors and coworkers tell me. Austensibly, in my experience, cis women are negative towards trans men and largely neutral or positive towards trans women, whereass cis men are negative towards both
Non binary people don't even exist because they don't touch on the framework people use to understand themselves, so they can just be denied and don't require any arguments beyond "lmao silly"
#I had written this as a response to someones post. not a reblog a comment#but I decided it's worth getting misunderstood and/or starting a fight.#so instead I think it works better as a standalone post. I don't like how most every trans inclusive discussion on tumblr seems to be#about differences between us. y'all#being trans is about the fact that our differences aren't real. even the superficial ones are up for debate.#cuz your voice can do amazing things and generally men and women look mostly quite alike#why split us again. why play the oppression i#olympics instead of working on understanding each other and making ourselves understandable?#if you keep pointing at the differences you perceive - especially if you actively blame them on the other - you'll exacerbate the difference#someone will question whether this is theirs. and if they reject they will reject you for speaking ill of them and others in a broad#generalized sense and not take you seriously#if they do accept it but they can't find a way to work on themselves - either because it isn't given or because it's not a real issue - they#will reject you and be hostile for your perceived hostility. do you see how you're hurting yourself?#and yeah biggest exist already that will fall into one of those two camps and you feel like you're talking to them. okay yeah that's true#but does it matter? you make people that don't belong to the bigots find solace in the bigots argument because you aligned yourself against#them in a way that can be weaponized. you said dumb shit and someone will take advantage of that.#whoever is wrongly affected by what you said doesn't realize they're siding with bigots. bigots don't always make radical ridiculous#which is why they're so dangerous. they say something quite reasonable looking given a certain context and then moon logic.#don't give them the set up for the moon logic. make them self destruct right from the start#and don't turn allies into foes just because you don't want to accept their allyship#anyways I don't take tumblr discourse serious. but I say this because aggressively unfollowing people with stupid rhetoric hasn't fixed me#seeing this. i still see it get reblogged by accounts that have zero connection towards this kind of rhetoric or usually even oppose it#I see it blazed too. generally I only see garbage from blaze but I also see quite untrue claims about what can and can't be blazed.#everything can be blazed regardless of staffs transphobia. even if it may be harder. the stuff that does successfully pass and gets blazed#may just not be the pro trans statement you perceived it as when you tried to get it blazed... think about it
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We are going through the Hbomberguy video's Queer Video Essayist List to see if anything clicks and having the fun experience of taking all of five minutes to realize "wait a minute... we already know all this stuff! this guy's just saying it in a longer format!
#we speak#for context this is the queer horror essay#we put it on while we play picross games for fun and were going through the standard “long intro about vaguely tangential things” intro#where they say things like “horror is pretty queer” and establish that Horror Is In Fact Pretty Queer (we know this but its Standard)#and then they start getting in on the body horror parts and the horror of being transgender and we're like “yeah we know this also”#and then we're halfway in like "...okay we think we might know this already but we're hoping that it goes into insight we dont already have#we continue with the puzzles while still listening to the game. the voiceover keeps going with things we are Aware Of.#surely. we think. surely we will start getting the unique insights soon#the video ends. we are forced to confront the fact that we have spent more time researching and digging into this subject than the essayist#something something “ah yes the inherent horror of having a body the thing we stick in like 99% of our works in some way or another”#very tragically our perspective is skewed too much to fully appreciate this because we've already steeped ourself in the genre#we know this stuff. we are in fact writing stories that deal with the same damn themes in extremely similar dysphoria horror ways.#we are busy doing irritated antenna flicks at phrases like “elevated horror”#its just another genre of horror bro we really dont like acting like its in any way “better” because it integrates aspects of other genres#every story will integrate its own genre expectations and little fragments of other genres and a whole load of other stuff in different way#as someone who lives in this subgenre we are begging you not to put Our Sort Of Horror on a pedestal because its slightly more. artsy?#we dont even know the word but they call it elevated horror because it deals its horror in a way thats more Artsy and thus more palatable#it's a different flavor and that flavor happens to be farther away from the guts and gore and monsters usually associated with horror#but that does not mean it is in any way better than a slasher or a monster thing or any other kind of horror it just makes it different#it might be more or less palatable to you in being what it Is but it's still not like. “better”. “elevated”. it's just a different subgenre
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