#something something “ah yes the inherent horror of having a body the thing we stick in like 99% of our works in some way or another”

[mantisgodsdomain]

We are going through the Hbomberguy video's Queer Video Essayist List to see if anything clicks and having the fun experience of taking all of five minutes to realize "wait a minute... we already know all this stuff! this guy's just saying it in a longer format!

[equiuszahhak]

equiuszahhak D --> How do you think I'm... Doing D --> Apologies, that is broad, but it is a vast sentiment

@indulgentarcher D ==> I mean, ye got yeself some sweet quads, nice style, ye seem happy enough?

equiuszahhak D --> I suppose

indulgentarcher D ==> As happy as our line can be ha

equiuszahhak D --> Perhaps. I just feel - empty, Dilwyn

indulgentarcher D ==> Almost like the void is in your blood D ==> Have you tried tapping that?

equiuszahhak D --> The void? In some ways

indulgentarcher D ==> A hollowness that stems from stagnation can be quickly changed by tapping your called on aspect D ==> Do ye wish to learn how we used the void before that game came along?

equiuszahhak D --> Yes

indulgentarcher D ==> B)c D ==> Ye live in the bubbles aye?

equiuszahhak D --> Yes, and i have felt the void within them

indulgentarcher D ==> Hear it call ye. I will find you in a quiet place D ==> I shall meet ye there, your mind will guide you B*

equiuszahhak D --> Okay [ He... Does that? ]

indulgentarcher >> It's true. His mind would guide him via the STRONG pull of Dilwyn's mayjiks in the void. It leads Equius to a deep, dark forest with bioluminescent mushrooms as the only light. Faint whispering is all around them. >> And going fourth in the clearing, there he sits on a stump, looking old and serene in an actual wizard's robe, arcane runes printed in a shimmery silver around the sleeves. He stands with his very-suspiciously-staff-like "walking stick" with a clear magical gem on it, to his full 8' 5". "Hello little one, are ye ready to hear the void's whispering call?"

equiuszahhak Equius gasped, eyes wide. What in the fresh bubbly hell? He rubbed his eyes, before shaking his head as he looked around. The sight of Dilwyn was something else, and he didn't know how to react until spoken to. "Hn. Yes." He nodded, standing just above two feet shorter than the large troll. "I am ready."

indulgentarcher >> The old fart gave him a warm smile, holding out his hand to him. "Step one, let your guard down. It's the hardest step of all usually ..."

equiuszahhak That really was. Equius took a deep breath, before sighing. He'd tapped into the void a little at a time, but not in the way this man obviously had. Sure, his guard could be let down. He'd try. Without a word, he takes his hand.

indulgentarcher Dil hummed softly as he took his hand, giving him a firm but gentle squeeze. It was a grip only a Zahhak could appreciate.   "Just breathe." He coaxed as he let a low thrum of void energy start to flow from his fingertips into his descendant's. It flowed up, up, up like a cold stream of water in his veins that was definitely *weird* but not inherently painful. It spread up the side of him up to where his mind was, a whisper of "let me in" ringing quietly inside.

equiuszahhak Equius already closed eyes squinted, the cold a tingle that felt... Familiar. The echo in his mind headed, as he shivered, squeezing tighter to Dilwyn's hand. Something in him shifted, though he didn't know what, and an odd sense of calm washed over him. "And?" He asked, internally.

indulgentarcher "And hear us..." The whisper spoke louder. Suddenly the whispering wasn't alone, many voices all at once. Different times but all.... Soft... Nothing in common either. All was Eldritch. "Do you hear me?" A deep voice asked, cutting through the chattering. "Do you hear your ancestry?"

equiuszahhak Equius brows raised, as he felt in another world, in the darkness. Floating serene, like adrift at sea. "Yes."

indulgentarcher "Such a good listener!" "What a good boy!" "Yes yesss! Fresh in the blood!" Various voices whispered in pleased tones, "Have ye ever felt the tinge of grimmness touch your bones?"

equiuszahhak Equius' brows rose at the praise, somehow cute and disturbing at once. But he smiled, shaking his head. "I have not."

indulgentarcher "Do ye- Do ye want a taste? I refuse to turn ye. Just a dose...." Oh that deep, deep voice? That was Dilwyn. Jeeze. That was barely a trollish voice.

equiuszahhak Equius laughed in the face of all of that, nothing but entertained by Dilwyn's tone. This was probably the best person to do something like this with, he figured. "Yes." He finally said, a smile on his face

indulgentarcher Dil felt the joy radiate off him. Had.. had he finally found one of his bloodline who would walk this path with him? There was a flutter of unknowable joy and excitement in his stomach as his hopes raised juuust a bit. "U̷m̸b̵r̶e̸y̶t̷a̸ ̷í̶ ̷s̴k̷u̸g̶g̸a̴..." And with that, the transformation of grimdarkness would begin and those whispers where about to get a WHOLE lot louder.

equiuszahhak And they did. A wash, inundating and many. His pan was assaulted by the heady calls, mysterious ringings, and low tones of the darkness. Was this the void he'd but only glimpsed in his death? His skin tinted, his eyes darkened, and he fell to his knees.

indulgentarcher Dil weant down with him, still holding his hand firmly he swooped his tail around to offer more support to his back and carefully pulled him in close. He'd let him lean against him if he was willing. "Breathe. Breathe. Focus on me. Focus on what's outside your head now."

equiuszahhak Equius did, curling into the touch that was offered to him. He'd never felt so simultaneously in danger and safe. He pressed into Dilwyn, an aura over taking him, black eyes, a gurgle in his throat before coughing up salt water, brine. Focus, focus. Feel his warmth, listen to his voice.

indulgentarcher Dilwyn knew exactly what he was going through. He held him tight, very tight. "You are out here. Your body has to adjust. Your mind has to change with it. Tap me if it's too much, I promise it's fine."

equiuszahhak Equius nodded, not knowing where the FUCK the tentacle spilling from his mouth came from. He gagged on it, gripping into the ground, before a whole ass octopus bulged from his throat and onto the ground. His skin glowed a bit, though still dark. Deep breaths, deep breaths. The water dribbled from the side of his face, and he looked wrecked in general. Though it was starting to fade, and the voices, stronger, were becoming orderly. Looking up to Dilwyn, he offered a weak smile, staggering to stand up,

indulgentarcher Dilwyn hissed sympathetically when he finally coughed out the beast from his soul, taking care to now lift it up too in his tail to cradle it. It wasn't uncommon for a miniterror to spawn but he can't say he expected it THIS time in particular. He had a rough one. "Hey... Hey no. Stay down... Shhhh... Don't try to stand yet.'" he cooed, moving to scoop the octopi into his arms. "Congratulations! It's an abomination." He teased, hoping to ease some of the tension with humor.

equiuszahhak Equius wasn't very amused, leaning into Dil. What was the point of this? Oh, to connect with the ~void~. He coughed again, though when he tried to speak, nothing would some at first. He merely looked over the miniterror, wondering what it meant. Hopefully, the look on his face would earn an answer.

indulgentarcher Dil let out a soft chuckle, "Don't worry ain't serious. Sometimes when ye first connect ye have one of these inside ye forever. Sometimes ye cough em up. It's a 50/50 chance really. Behold the birth of a minor horror terror, whom I shall now release to it's natural habitat *promptly.* " He explained before opening up a raw portal into the void, sliding the baby in and closing it right back up. "How ye feelin' love?"

equiuszahhak Equius nodded, and tried to speak again. This time, warbled, but surely Dil wound understand. "I feel strange. Though - Like my consciousness is expanding. Dissociative, yet present more than I have my entire existence."

indulgentarcher "Welcome to seeing the bigger picture. The terrors welcome you, child of my blood, child of the void." He cooed, his hand reaching up to both cup his cheek and brush the hair clinging away from it. "They want to teach you so many things. I do as well.... How to transport objects, beings and souls through the void. How to sense another user. How to speak festertounges.... How to slip your consciousness between existence and non-existence casually... There are so many things hidden in your mind. I am very excited to teach you if you'll let me."

equiuszahhak Equius leaned into the touch, intimate and reassuring. He nodded, silent, and closed his eyes. "Please teach me."

indulgentarcher "wonderful..... Ah- we could start by simple object displacement. I will warn ye there's still a chance of this form getting too much as you explore your power. Do tell me, because I know this form can be very hard on the newly awakened..." He cooed, thumbing his face so gently. He would take Precautions damnit. "... Ah but, before displacement actually ... First let's try this. Hold your hand out... Try to manifest a little blob of the void in your palm...." He coaxed, doing just that. A stable, swirling little blob of void hanging just above his palm.

equiuszahhak Equius squinted at the warbling mass, before nodding. He took a breath, steadying himself on his knees. He... thinks about it? Channels it?

It isn't immediate, but a tadpole-esque shape swims to life in his hand, circular. It flattens itself out over time, hazy at the edges and pitch black, looking almost like portal than what Dil had. "Is - is this it?"

equiuszahhak "What it should be?"

indulgentarcher He chuckled, shaking his head. "it doesn't have to be anything exactly. Just a form. Ye've done it here! Ye did very well for the first go too!" He chimed, tail thumping- oh yes. His tail wagged like a dog's. "When ye get more practice ye can do things like this...." He mused as he made the voidy blob in a ball that he played with almost like a waterbender as he swirling it in the air around his hands, keeping the shape ever moving like water. "You are learning to control chaos by giving it order."

equiuszahhak That... sounded lovely. Equius felt like he'd been trying to go that his whole live, unlife. Give order to things that didn't want it, control things that didn't need controlling safe for himself. But this... Yes, this was something he could do. By now, the form vanished from his hand. It took some energy, for sure. "You are right, this is tiring. One more time." He nodded, trying to bring the mass back. This time it sputtered like inverse fire flies, flitting around his hand,  dissipating. He slumps, breathing hard, tapping Di's leg. "I think I am spent."

indulgentarcher Dil chuckled softly, putting his hands on both of his cheeks and whispering, "V̵e̷r̸ð̷a̸ ̷h̷o̶l̴d̴ ̴a̸f̵t̴u̸r̷" The process in reverse was still a bit tiring but significantly less shitty. "Ye eat meat little one?"

equiuszahhak He shook his head, "I do not." Letting all his weight fall into the hands that held his face, exhausted and drained. It was like he couldn't move at all, not that he wanted to try anyway.

indulgentarcher What was it with his descendant's and not eating meat??? Damn herbivores. More for him. "I got granola in my syladex then, here...." He told him, plopping a clearly meant for children granola in his hand-" ah wait that's.... Uh. That's my kids snack ones.... Hold on hold on....." Watch this old man flip through the most cluttered syladex you'll ever see. Oh look adult food. "Ok here." There we go, adult troll sized Granola bar. With chocolate chips of course. "Ye need to eat something trust me."

equiuszahhak Equius laughed weakly at that, languid as he settled into the ground, opening the *correct* granola bar. "Thank you." He huffed, taking it in small bites. "How... Often do you think this will happen?" He shuddered at the thought of another venture, but hoped that another little beast wouldn't fall out of him. Oh, that was weird.

indulgentarcher "Mmm, as often as ye want it to. We can make it into a weekly training session if ye like? It gets easier with practice." He noted, scrolling back to pull out some jerky. Snap, snarfle, crunch the old man was DEFINITELY less civil than most folks.

equiuszahhak Equius didn't mind, not as much as he would have used to. Dil had certainly proved himself a force to recon with. Finishing his bar, sprawled on the ground, Equius didn't see why the fuck not. "Okay."

indulgentarcher "Wonderful!.... What the fuck day is it?? ....ahhhh... Oh! It's Wednesday, apparently. How about every Wednesday then ah? We can play by ear for the time I guess." He suggested, laying down right next to him. "Ye did really well this time little one. Ye show great promise."

equiuszahhak Equius nodded, burping as the last of the salt water in his system dribbled down his cheek. How embarrassing... "I am... Glad you think so." A pause, as he closed his eyes, fingers laced over his chest. "I believe it would be good to practice, yes." So he didn't end up on the ground like this every time

[justtheendoftheday]

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

“They’re coming to get you, Barbra.”

When the bodies of the recently deceased begin coming back to life to try and kill and eat the living, a group of strangers take refuge inside an empty rural home.

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Fright: 1.7 / 5  Barbras

For me the most unsettling moments of fright are near the beginning when the attacks first start occurring. Sure, packs of the undead banging on your door is a creepy idea, but the potential for some stranger to suddenly attack you is just so much more real.

I feel like this was probably a very frightening movie when it came out, but time has dulled its blade a bit. For devotees of the genre Night of the Living Dead probably doesn’t even cause a blip on their fear radar. But for less desensitized viewers I think it probably walks a nice line between being spooky enough to creep you out a little, but tame and dated enough that it won’t keep you up all night.

It’s easy to look back on this one and not remember any big scares. But that’s probably just because the movie isn’t really into big scares. It prefers to charge the atmosphere of a scene with spooky tension. Who will live? Who will die? What’s going to happen next?

Gore: 2.3 / 5 Butcher Counter Scraps

This one is tough to measure. Old school gore gore rarely measures up to modern standards, and the whole movie is in black & white (which always makes things seem a little less visceral to me). So by modern zombie movie standards this one is pretty tame.

On one hand there certainly is a bit of gore, but on the other hand it is generally used to suggest that something rather gruesome occurred instead of actually showing it happening.

For instance, they never show anyone getting bit or pulled apart or anything like that. But they do imply that such things have happened and then show the ghouls eating “human flesh.” Yet it’s pretty obvious to an adult viewer that the actors are just creepily munching on a prop arm or some meaty bit acquired from a butcher shop.

There’s also a couple of quick shots of a slightly decomposed skull.

For the most part the only gruesome things you actually see being done to people are things like getting shot or stabbed.

Jump Scares: Very few

There are a couple of potential startle moments, but they are a bit tame by today’s standards. I didn’t notice any really aggressive jump scares to speak of.

Review:

Night of the Living Dead is a film that goes beyond the confines of its spooky premise to work as a powerful metaphor for its time. While its depiction of women is unfortunately quite bland, the way it deals with race is incredibly interesting. It’s a movie that delights in creating tension more so than going for aggressive scares. While certainly tame compared to modern zombie films, it remains a really fun movie that establishes the heart of a Romero-style zombie movie: a group of survivors who are forced to question whether the real terror is being alone outside with the zombies or inside together with the other survivors.

Thoughts:

Ah, Night of the Living Dead, one of those cinematic classics that everyone has at least heard of even if they’ve never seen.

Is it just me or is anyone else always wary of “classics?” So many of them turn out to be quite boring, or dated, or—worst of all—problematic. And sure, they might have made a big impact on the field, but that doesn’t mean they’re inherently great art, especially decades down the line.

And yet sometimes you’ll watch a so-called Classic and you totally get it.

Oh! Yes, this is why everyone keeps talking about this one.

One of my favorite things about the Horror genre is that so much of it is built up from a foundation of independent works and passion projects. And so much about what makes this movie a classic is because it was made by a bunch of film nerds who just wanted to make a movie. The only limitation placed on them was the scope of their imagination and the confines of their budget.

And that is exactly what allowed it to work outside the usual studio box and synthesize something new.

Here is a movie that has lots of gore (unusual for the time), was shot in black and white (also quite unusual for the time), and it cast a handsome black man as the main character and definitive hero of the movie (very unusual for the time).

Now keep in mind that movie was made in late 1960s America! A time where institutionalized racism was clashing against the force of a powerfully determined and ever-growing civil rights movement. To see a black man being portrayed as the hero—let alone one who heroically fights against white bodies—was almost unheard of in the cinematic pop-culture of the time.

Romero has said that his script hadn’t called for a black man to be cast in the role of Ben, but Duane Jones was chosen for the role simply because his audition had been the best. And while it’s easy to believe that Duane Jones aced that audition (because he’s friggin’ phenomenal in this movie), it’s hard to imagine that they would have even considered casting a white dude in the role. If they had gone that route it would have fundamentally changed the nature of the story (which is just a nice way of saying that it would have ruined everything).

But luckily for us the creators were open-minded enough to cast the role without race in mind. And because of that Night of the Living Dead was able to (inadvertently) tap into the energy of its time. It’s charged with this backlash against American racism. Ben is literally surrounded by white people that want him dead. They either want to ignore his humanity and simply consume him, like the hordes of ghouls do, or they want him dead for threatening the status quo (like Mr. Cooper does inside the house). And in spite of everything he still sticks his neck out to protect the people around him.

In spite of how well it’s held up over the years, for a modern audience one part hasn’t aged especially well: its depictions of women. Now don’t get me wrong, it never goes for the overt sexism that many horror movies manage to. And yet its female characters still manage to be the most bland characters in the film.

The lack of depth is on full display in their depiction of the film leading lady: Barbra. She starts out well enough, but for the vast, vast majority of the movie she is reduced to a hollow character. She is near catatonic most of the time and even when she’s lucid she tends to just ramble on, only partially aware of reality.

If that wasn’t bad enough there are only 3 other women in the movie and their characters almost never step outside the frameworks of The Wife, The Girlfriend, and The Daughter. All the female characters seem to exist only to add depth to the male characters who are the actual movers and shakers of the movie.

(Although in her defense I will say that Mrs. Cooper’s occasional scathing remark to her idiot husband are highly enjoyable.)

The first time I saw this film was in high school and I had heard it hyped up so much that I ended up thinking it was all a bit silly when I first saw it. While I’m sure it was more shocking to see during its time, by today’s standards it is a rather quiet movie. But when I ended up giving it another try, I found that the quietness is one of my favorite things about it.

One of the little details I love is how they use cricket sounds throughout the movie. In spite of all the horror and death we witness, nature continues unabated. It’s as if to say the world doesn’t care about these people’s situation. That little sound that evokes quiet peaceful summer nights is twisted here and it adds this brilliant extra layer of creepiness.

One of the things I’ve always loved about Romero’s zombie movies is that they are always focused on the survivors, not the zombies. The ghouls are slow and stumbling, their only real threat is if they catch you unaware or you let them overpower you with their numbers. The real source of danger is always shown to be the people you’re locked up with.

After all, in these modern times what is more frightening: the masses pounding on your gates or the people you find yourself locked in with?

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Content warnings: I didn’t notice anything particularly triggering in this one, but let me know if I missed something!

After-credits Scene?: None.

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Directed by: George A. Romero

Written by: John Russo & George Romero

Country of Origin: USA

Language: English

Setting: Butler County, Pennsylvania, USA

Sequel: Dawn of the Dead (1978)

If you liked this you might also like: Dawn of the Dead (1978), Day of the Dead (1985), The Last Man on Earth (1964), Shaun of the Dead (2004)

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Context Corner:

Night of the Living Dead may be the great grand-daddy of the modern zombie movie, but many might not know that plenty of zombie movies existed long before it was ever made. The first zombie movie being the 1932 film White Zombie starring Bela Lugosi as an evil witch doctor named Murder Legendre [100% serious. That really was his name].

However, these original zombie movies were very different things from what we consider zombies today. These pre-NotLD films were generally based around second-hand ideas of zombies as seen in Haitian folklore (and misattributed to the religion of voodoo). They featured dead bodies that were reanimated as mindless tools of their master or living people put into a zombie-like trance, not autonomous creatures on the hunt for living flesh.

The closest precursor to Romero’s vision of zombies was seen in the fantastic film The Last Man on Earth, a 1964 picture starring Vincent Price and based on the novel I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. There a plague sweeps across the country and the infected dead return to life as a type of vampire-esque zombies.

Fun Fact: In spite of its influence on the zombie genre the word “zombie” is never used in Night of the Living Dead. The undead are referred to only as “ghouls.”

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“So long as this situation remains, government spokesmen warn that dead bodies will continue to be transformed into the flesh-eating ghouls. All persons who die during this crisis, from whatever cause, will come back to life to seek human victims.”

[hgfstreamchats]

Jason Goes to Hell

Come on Kast... Kast, just once. Just. Once. Hello! Remember when we used livestream and the only thing we had to worry about were the many, many problems inherent in livestream? Hello, night human! I remember it fondly. Those were the days. I still have no audio. Hmmm... is there--yeah, me neither Still no audio? Nope. Still none Oh afts. Mmmmaybe you have something muted in kast itself? I cannot hear the terrible dance. Drat. It's very possible. It went through some kind of hideous update. Great. Glorious. Hmmmm. Nothing? Nothing Nothing. I hear it! there it is! GLORIOUS!

And it just cut out And it's back There. There we are. What was the problem? Wonderful! Emulator nonsense, the usual. Ahhh Look at that pumpkin man go. He's certainly got the music in him. What precisely is this? ohhhhh jeez I'm also wondering Either an underrated found footage film or pure garbage. We're watching now so that if it's filth, we still have time to end the month on a high note. I see... "remember that name" Once again, I already care nothing for these characters! This filming format is so obnoxious. I'm sure there's a totally normal reason he's setting up a camera in his RV like that Whichever one did that is now Smokescreen. Somehow I guess it didn't occur to me that haunted houses would run for more than one day The general idea of the thing sounds fun. I'd do it if I were human or capable of fitting into human buildings. There you go! Just make a found footage film starring me! Just stick your head in, it'll be fine "I'm here, you all figure out the rest." There are outdoor haunts. Or haunted corn mazes. You could possibly attend one of those. Yeah!  Just drive around in it As I suspect a maze loses some of its charm when you can just step over the walls Don't tempt me. I'll do it and the Autobot pets will whine to the Autobots. I would tempt you just to get the pets to whine about it. I guess you could also see if someone from one of those universes where they can project holoforms further, is willing to share If I do, I demand a copy of the report so I can frame it. This is how to get kicked off a property. ... yikes I hate them all immensely. So, do you think that these terrible people will die, or just annoy us for an hour and a half? So do they die, or what Ugh. Even the Blair Witch humans weren't this obnoxious. These wretches would fit in with the pretentious Book of Shadow humans. Shut up! ?? Them, not either of you. I feel like even if your conceit is "found footage", you can damn well edit it to only the interesting bits But if we don't see the worthless chaff, then how will we know it's "art"? If they don't stop talking, ever, how else can we be expected to care whether they live or die? And you get that same "wait, why were they even filming this in the first place" feeling At this point, I'm solidly on Team Clown. Ah. So they are being stalked by the actors from the first haunt they pissed off. So spooky. I think so? Why did they... let them in For maximum spooky. "okay this isn't so much 'scary' as 'awkward'" What exactly did they do at the first haunt?  I, uh, may have gotten up for a minute to get the kettle If anyone has suggestions for real horror movies that would go down nicely after this, do feel free to throw them out, because we're not touching the sequel with a 40 foot pole. And apparently missed Vital Plot Info (tm) They climbed an unattended ladder, and screeched at the waiting line crowd. Ohhhh. Yeah, not cool Do you want a real good horror movie, or a real silly horror movie? Either, any! Well, there is always Jason Goes to Hell. Or Texas Chainsaw 3D OH! Yes! Either is infinitely more fun than this. Jason Goes to Hell it is! OH WHAT A SHAME IT'S THE END AND THEY'RE DYING. HOWEVER DID THIS HAPPEN. WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED Are they actually dying? Hopefully? BUT THEY'VE LOST NONE OF THEIR USUAL CHARM, CLEARLY. Shaun! Damn it, don't make me laugh when I'm about to drink something Oh no! He got vaguely attacked in the dark. And she got red kool-aide on her sweater. She'll never get those stains out! The true tragedy. The frag would this be filmed? Uh oh, is it time for snakes Why does that one get cushions and kool aide doesn't? ...who's filming that She got a snack instead. I don't despise kool aide like I do beard-face. By all means, none of you try to push out while the dirt is pile on soft and shallow. *piled Oh, shut up. Thank you. I think that was as much of that as we needed to see They didn't have the decency to *die* entertaining. This should be much more entertaining. People die in ridiculous ways. Do you know what irritates me most of all? It had such a compelling title. That's what lured me in. I assumed nothing with a title that good could possibly be bad. If it had been a real documentary on the haunted house industry, then I think it would have been good. It would have been! Yeah, that could have been interesting! This is already more interesting. What a necessary scene, I'm sure It is a horror movie. Jason looks...bloated. He's a bit worse for wear. Comes of being in the lake all that time Oh hey So she was the bait Was that an air strike And then he explodes. That should do it. Graphic design is their passion. It just does this the rest of the movie. The longest mid-credit roll of them all. Ha. Just keep poking it. What I'm getting is that there were just a whole bunch of people who wanted prominence in the credits, and sacrifices had to be made The scale numbers changing is a nice touch Uh Ew ...Huh. I feel bad for that guy This is the Friday movie that was made just after New Line purchased the rights. They... did not know how to make a proper Jason movie. Oh boy o oh Hi! is this a youtube poop Hey! It's Jason Goes To Hell Smokescreen! Woojit! What is this? You barely missed the credits! Oooh! I did it! I came just in time! What you missed: a military op killed Jason, then when the coroner was disecting him, his heart started beating and he possessed the coroner. That's just how it is sometimes! Apparently! Oooh, this is like a scraplet horror fantasy novel I read like, vorns ago It is? Like, the body snatching? Oh! ... are they smoking in the cafe??? is that allowed? Used to be. does everyone do that or is he just doing it because Apparently they're all just...like this? That's how it is. ... Can I smoke in here? I would prefer you did not. Oh, good, important information to be imparted later!  I'm sure everyone will survive until then Since when do you smoke, Smokescreen? Well, one or two times, Wheeljack gave me something and it wasn't bad! "haha just a joke, only like eighty people have died there" This certainly is how people talk. Uh. Ugh. I mean, I wouldn't want to be in the tent after whatever slag they're getting int-oh "I'll just sleep outside and listen." Like any good friend on an awkward camping trip. Of course. Nothing says "third wheel" like being the one who gets to sleep OUTSIDE the tent, half-naked You'd think they might have brought an extra tent. Sometimes, you just want to frag a tree .....*What?* Not everyone has your love of plant life, Smokescreen. What? NO I didn't mean it like that! Like... Some humans really are tree huggers? Nothing wrong with tree-fraggin! . . . . There was a human in the last film that frags pumpkins. We thought of you. Woojit, I'm gonna find an owl movie just for you. It won't be anywhere near as painful as said last movie. Unless it is a found footage owl movie. "nah, we don't need a condom, we're not surviving the movie anyway" w Primus, was the last movie THAT bad? It was wretched. Just intolerable. From what we saw, it seemed to be about 10 minutes of plot drawn out into an hour and a half of movie With zero (0) likeable characters I have to admit, this wasn't really what I was expecting This movie's just all over the place. Oh dear. It's the worst Friday movie. But still entertaining in a terrible way. No, I don't know why this is happening. That is definitely how reflections work. Magic! Wait, this is a friday movie? Yes. Jason Goes to Hell, part 9. Oh, I thought all Jasons were just like that. ... I saw a Jason movie with a bot not that long ago, huh! So... did he shave him out of like... vanity?  he didn't want a moustache? christ The classic 'A body swapped Jason killed that lady' misunderstanding. Agent Scully! Man, how many people do you think were like "jason swapped bodies with me :(" in court ..... is jason the baby No? Oh so that's the asshole bounty hunter or whatever Now I want, no, need Jason to be the baby. I know, right? With a tiny, baby sized knife and hockey mask? What the hell is wrong with this guy Who doesn't enjoy breaking fingers to pay off the exposition dump? Man, I'm pretty sure I would've gotten kicked out the autobots and broken everyone's fingers if I broke someone's fingers everytime I started expositioning It sounds like a Soundwave method more than anything. Yep. Its name is Jason. I hope he didn't just taste that Facebook Oh good, the Necronomicon See, because it had a face in the cover-- How did he manage to steal a body? what the fuck Hopefully HE'LL--yep, guess so! Bleh Well, that takes care  of that. She's crying because her shower stream is so weak. Kidnap her. Women love that. I feel like maybe he could have accomplished more by calling her from jail or something Instead of all these shenanigans oh UGH UGH. UGH. Are you not entertained? Uh oh Hah! ...Did that do it?  Did the right person kill him? Nope. Ah Jason was more interesting when he only cared about his mother and his lake. I did mention this was worst Friday movie. ...I'm not sure that WAS him I mean, Jason hasn't actually... talked, so far It was a terrible worm thing, this whole time. I didn't think he could downgrade from the spaghetti-gut rotting corpse but here we are. Ohhhh shit There he is! I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that Oh what that pit sure came in handy Not the puppet hands! And there you have it. What a twist, kind of! Well! Still better nonsense than the last one. A marked improvement. And to think I thought this movie was going to be about him going to hell and, I don't know, stabbing demons or something. You're not the only one. I want a toyota beef! That would have been more fun, and that's not allowed. Hehehe. TWO things are wrong in the picture! ... isn't the kid pushing floating The boy is floating! What What. ... Does primus does primus have a good question doesn't he hang out on tumblr?  you could ask him next time you see him Oh yes, that sounds like a good idea. That won't go wrong, I'm sure. Technically I didn't say it was a good idea It's an awesome idea! Primus adores me Then go right ahead, Smokescreen. You got it! It'll at least go better than calling Unicron a dilf ...You called Unicron a what a dilf? Why did you do that? To bug him? Oh, well then. One day that may come back to literally bite you in the aft. Well, that's all I've got! Well, once again, thanks for the stream! woojit woojit woojit I've got a horror movie for us for sometime! Thank you for that stream salvaging suggestion, Starscream. Oh, what? *listening face* The Brave Little Toaster? Yes, thanks! You know the sene It was the least I could offer. This was much better than the other thing Absolutely not. I'm not that sadistic. Oh. ... Am I that sadistic Oh my It's, uh, it's a pretty gruesome movie in some ways I'm sure nobody thinks you're sadistic, Smokescreen I think he tries. Oh, he already left.  Unless that's Kast being weird again. The Brave Little Toaster is the sadistic one. Well, goodnight! Goodnight, All. Good night, everyone!