#but this is already so painful and difficult for me

[moonlight-prose]

“please don’t make me say it if you aren’t going to say it back” with a desperately in love with joel reader would hit so much…

weaved around your finger like yarn

a/n: me writing for joel again?? this has sat in my inbox for over a year and i never meant to actually take this long with it. but i finally figured out how to write this concept. and now i am actually obsessed with the small world of softness i created for these two. this is yes jackson joel, but nothing bad happens ever to him because why would it? it's all fine right?

summary: he never made space in his life for love in the aftermath of destruction. the after of his life he once thought would extend past decades of gray hair, smile lines carved in around his mouth now set in frowns and sneers. but snowfall and alcohol blur the lines for both of you when winter comes to jackson.

word count: 1.6k+

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: not explicit, love confessions, heavy makeout sessions, alcohol consumption, tipsy joel, sad joel, laughter at the end of the world, hope.

He can't remember laughing until his stomach hurt. The ache that spilled into his chest, warming his insides with a sun like quality that left him shivering. He can't recall the feel of his cheeks pulled so wide the sensation became a phantom pain seconds after. He knows it happened. He can distinctly recall the jokes, the joy. But the laughter lingers like a ghost at the back of his mind—translucent and gray and distorted enough to feel false.

Alcohol simmers in his stomach with a rueful intent. A malignant aftermath that would hit him in a few hours after two months of attempted sobriety. Ellie insisted, he accepted. Easy enough to say. Difficult to follow through with.

He had his days where whiskey sounded better than the flavor of bacon Tommy would bring him in the early mornings. But the dismay in your eyes helped him hold off, regain his awareness of a world not yet shattered. For once in quite a long time...he finally lived. For you, for Ellie, for Sarah.

He lived to see his hair grow longer and the grays appear more frequently. To drink coffee in the mornings on a porch you were already settled on. To help you fix small things here and there in your cabin next door. He lived for your smile, the light in your eyes. The curve of your lips as they pulled up into bolstering peals of laughter—the furrow in your brow as you frowned from endless frustrations on long hard days.

Joel Miller lived to love you.

He existed to dig his heels in and wait shit out—it's what he was good at, what he knew how to do. But for you he relented quicker than ice on a hot asphalt driveway back home in Texas. His mind became sand that slipped through your giving hands—heart a fluttering mess that sang a tune he could never get right on the guitar stashed in his living room.

Days bloomed into weeks which grew into months. Eventually a year passed and what used to be difficult and awkward to be around people again, felt like breathing the fresh winter air. The jackets he managed to find hung on hooks by the door, a pair of heavy boots beside the small table Tommy crafted him.

The mornings were nice. When hot water hit ground coffee and the aroma plagued his kitchen for hours at a time. The evenings called you towards him—simple cooking skills shared in the confines of a home he pined for you to reside in.

Life was a sliver of peace he never imagined he'd get again. But the hole in his heart never faded, the pain still rang out sharp enough to have him clamping down on the inside of his cheek. And your smile made his stomach ache with a longing deep enough to scar.

Tommy told him to buck up and do something. Ellie called him a fucking idiot.

You...gave no indication you felt the same way. So silent and reserved he would remain.

Your feet slid on icy, fingers gripping tightly to his jacket with a yelp in a quick attempt to save yourself from slamming to the ground. Joel snickered loud and brash and a wash of embarrassment burned under frozen cheeks. Dragging you up, his arm looped tightly around your waist—hand pressed harsh and insistent to the small of your back. You swallowed the butterflies at the sight of his face flushed red—eyes shining from the effect of too much whiskey.

"We were bad tonight," you muttered, breath forming a cloud between your faces.

He grinned—skin buzzing at the close proximity of your form. "Only a little bit."

"You're not supposed to drink Joel."

Leaning in he traded his smile like a secret; you tucked it into your chest with a sharp breath. "I won't tell if you don't, darlin'."

"Joel..."

"C'mon. No one's gettin' in trouble here."

A blade pierced your heart brutally—spilling crimson along pale white snow. Even as Joel remained entirely unaware of how you clung to him. How your body called his name—your mind plagued with thoughts of his being, with images of his smile, with the sound of his raspy voice. He'd never know the way you cherished each moment with him. The mornings tucked away from an unruly world—the nights shared between friends who might one day be more.

Your teeth scraped along the cracked skin of your bottom lip, eyes cast up to the curl of his lips. The words sprang forth faster than you could drag them back. Your chest of secrets unlocked and bared to the man who drowned you in his small flecks of joy. Later you'd blame the alcohol. When the headache ravaged your head and an ache lingered between your thighs.

Later you'd comb over every small glance and breathy word.

"I like spending time with you Joel," you breathed, fingers toying with the front of his leather coat. "I like...um..."

The breath caught in his throat, gaze desperate to catch yours. "Yeah sugar?"

"It's a hard thing to say." Another cloud of your whiskey tinged breath filled the air.

"You can tell me anythin'. You know that right?" Even as hope flared bright and scorching through the width of his chest. "I'll listen."

Hesitation spilled into the night, your voice a soft whisper he barely caught. "Please don't make me say it if you aren't going to say it back."

Oh didn't you know?

Did you not see how his gaze dug beneath the layers of flesh and bone, of tendons and veins that clung to your form? Did you not understand he would take a bullet for you? That he'd bear the wound of a warrior's death to keep you alive? How could you not know that his love stuck to his tongue with a saccharine bitterness he swallowed down like the drugs he once took to numb his mind?

You healed pieces of his soul you never broke. A marred and fucked puzzle that was meant to find a home six feet underground. By his own hand no less. He was destined to die—born to suffer—yet you swathed him wool with the promise of a peaceful life.

A future etched by the hands of love.

"Say it," he pleaded, frozen hand cupping your cheek.

"It's more than just that." The breath you took shot adrenaline down his spine. "I like our mornings. I like our dinners and conversation. And even when you come into town with me. But I...I love..."

The glossy nature of your eyes created by unshed tears that pooled at your waterline dug the knife deep enough to meld it within his heart. You didn't know. You couldn't have. His silence, his hesitation, swallowed every emotion he might have told you—every secret uttered in the shadows of night that told only half his story.

He told you about Sarah. About their life together, about her smile. That in itself felt like a proclamation of love—a key to the heart he thought stopped beating long ago.

"I knew it would freak you out," you muttered, pulling away from his hold.

Only for him to panic. His hand gripped the back of your jacket, pushing you towards him hard enough for your feet to slip again. But your gasp was swallowed by the cold press of his mouth to yours. Lips chapped by the winter air slid against your parted mouth as you froze against his chest. Your hands hung listlessly at your sides. He kissed you tenderly, attempting to wake you from the spell of shock, but to no avail did it bring you back.

"'M sorry." His words were muffled against your chin, forehead pressed to yours and eyes squeezed shut. "I shouldn't have–"

The press of your fingers into his cheeks jolted him back—eyes wide as you dragged him back with a stifled moan. Your mouth found his tongue hot and wet along his bottom lip in a pleading motion he complied to instantly. Stepping forward he fell into you with a deep groan. One that echoed and vibrated right down to your stomach—one you savored with a lick along his back teeth.

Hands cupped your ass with an insistent need to mold you closer, fingers digging into the plush flesh he longed to bite and taste. You tasted like whiskey. You smelled like him. It made him dizzy with want, anxious to lead you back to his porch—to seat you on his kitchen counter in the mornings while the coffee went cold.

"Fuck I wanna take ya home sugar," he grunted, biting at your lower lip with a grin.

Your breathless reply made the hair stand on the back of his neck. "You can."

"No." He shook his head, stealing another kiss with a gritty moan. "Not tonight. 'M gonna do this proper."

"Proper," you smiled, tugging on the longer curls you refused to let him cut. "You're such an old man Miller."

The large breadth of his hand cupped your chin, pushing the cheeks he lightly bit into together. "Won't be sayin' that tomorrow when I ain't got all this fuckin' alcohol in me."

"Yeah?" The droop of your eyelids—the darkened iris now filled with lust—set his teeth on edge. His body hummed with a new buzz he craved since meeting you. "Prove it."

"Oh I will." He grinned sharply, licking his teeth like a wolf waiting to pounce. "Don't you worry 'bout that."

A glimmer in your eyes caught his attention, the grip on your face loosening. "You know I love you right darlin'?"

You smiled—big and bright—and Joel felt another piece of his soul set back into place. "I love you too Joel."

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Jake Jensen

Summary: Jake knows he's the luckiest man in the world and it's all because of you.

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Previous

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

"Y' see, Jake, a lot o' people in this department ain't exactly friendly to others," Sy tells him. "In fact, it can be difficult for me an' Pine to assign anyone to tickets that require interacting with others."

Jake nods, a little nervously. "IT generally doesn't draw the most charismatic people."

"Which is a damn shame because, more and more, it requires some decent people skills," Sy agrees. "That's why Pine an' I were thinking of giving you a promotion." Jake's eyes go wide with shock. "The way things are right now, we assign tickets kinda randomly. We're interested in putting you in charge of the tickets. You'd be takin' on a lot more of the people focused work, the level 1 support, and the others'd be pickin' up more of your programming work. But since we all know workin' with people can be a pain, Pine's made sure to negotiate some more money into our budget for you. If you want the job."

"By 'in charge of tickets' do you mean I'd be taking them all on?"

"No, no, no," Sy assures. "Just that you'd be making them your priority. And you'd be assigning the level 2 and 3 support tickets around the department as you see fit."

"Won't that cut into your work?"

Syverson laughs at that. "Given how much o' my day is puttin' out fires caused by one of ours bein' rude to others in the building, yeah. But that just gives me more time for actually managing y'all, keepin' us up-to-date on projects, security measures and other stuff."

Jake thinks for a moment. "Does this mean I'll also be responsible for Lloyd's complaints about not getting Maestro assigned to his tickets?"

"He has eased up on that," Sy counters. "But yes."

"But this promotion gives me the authority to handle him, right?"

"That's correct."

Jake nods. "I'm in. Thanks so much for this!"

It had taken forever to get the twins to sleep for their afternoon naps. Leia couldn't stop fidgeting, at least until you gave her the Charmander stuffie to hold as you rocked them. But then Luke wanted his Bulbasaur and you ended up with overfull arms. Some days you're surprised your own biceps aren't as big as Jake's!

Jake's performance review was today and you wanted to make sure to cook up his favorite foods. You'd already sent some of his favorite snacks to work with him. You chuckle thinking about how quickly he can down a bottle of Mountain Dew. The bag of gummy worms to go with the meatball sub were, hopefully, a nice surprise for him. Generally all the sweets in the apartment were homemade but you know how much of a comfort gummy worms can be for him.

And after all Jake has done for you, for the twins, how could not comfort him? Be there for him? Jake never once talked down to you. Never made you feel like your hobbies or interests were a waste of time. He always made sure you felt loved and appreciated. You'd been together for so many years but you still giggle like a teenager whenever you think of him. And you know he does the same. Heck, you giggle as you think of him blushing pink and smiling as he thinks about you.

He's been working so hard to make sure you and the twins were provided for. The budget was sometimes tight but Jake made enough and your commissions were a good supplement. It just made sense for your little family to have a stay-at-home parent. Childcare costs for twins could be rough. But you got more creative with recipes, clothing, toys; your families were happy to help with a lot of the baby supplies; all of it resulting in all of you being able to live a nice, modest but incredibly happy life.

As the twins nap you get to work on the 5-cheese mac you know Jake loves. You're positive his performance review will go well, but it doesn't hurt to have a comfort food ready for him when he gets home.

Jake was practically bursting with excitement when he came home. As soon as he walked through the door the twins held out their hands, smiling, "Dada! Dada!" It always made his heart melt that they looked forward to his coming home. He picked them both up and spun, making them squeal with laughter. He takes a deep breath and knows what you're cooking up for dinner, making him smile even more. He's almost tearing up from how loved he feels.

"Dinner's just about ready," you call from the kitchen.

Jake looks to Luke and Leia, "you ready for dinner? Smells like Mama cooked up some really good food for us!" They both start chattering and laughing as Jake dances them over to their highchairs and gets them settled in. He joins you in the kitchen to help you carry things out and greets you with a big kiss.

"I take it the review went well?"

He starts visibly shaking with excitement, "so well! Let's get dinner started and I'll tell you!"

"Tease!" you smile at him as the two of you take things out to the table, making him laugh. Seeing him laugh causes the twins to renew their laughing and your heart warms all the more for it.

You and Jake alternate dishing out the food for yourselves and the twins. Even though it's certainly cooled down, Luke still holds out his spoon of mac and cheese for you to blow on it. Meanwhile Jake is helping to portion control Leia's ketchup for her chicken nuggets. Both of you are certain she'd drink the ketchup if left unattended so you've developed a system of adding a little dollop to each one as she's eating. Sometimes Jake thinks she views it as a game to play and he hopes she never grows out of it.

After the twins are sated a bit, you and Jake can finally dig in to your own plates. Jake gives all the appreciative moans he knows make you smile. It helps that your cooking is genuinely so damn delicious.

"Now will you finally tell me how the review went?"

"I'm getting a promotion!"

You squeal with happiness, causing a chain reaction with the twins. "A promotion! That's so wonderful! So well deserved!"

Jake blushes, "thank you, Sunshine. And it even comes with a pay raise! I think, after a few months, we can start looking at getting a bigger place!"

"Oh, Jakey! That's so wonderful! I really feel like we should celebrate!"

"I can think of a few ways to celebrate," Jake says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Definitely," you confirm with a giggle as heat rushes to your face. "I'm also thinking we should do a gaming night."

Jake's eyes go wide, "yes, please! Oh that would be so amazing! Not as amazing as you, but still amazing. God I love you so much, Sunshine! You're the best thing to ever happen to me---"

"I feel the same about you, Jakey," you say softly.

Next

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[jellyskink]

(Different Anon here, I hear we're sending in fan fics, feel free to post if you want.)

“Dr. Pines, I was wondering if you can tell me about yourself” Dr. Oleander was leaning against the counter in her office. On the examination table sat a man she's only known for the past months. He was first brought to her with injuries so severe she was amazed that he was still able to move. She was worried for the man and asked him to make follow up appointments at least once a month so she can monitor him. For the most part he was good On his word but there we times he ether cut it close to this appointment time or did both showing up at all.

The next time they would meet he would he would express his deep apologies but his “Muse” didn't see the point to the more frequent doctor visits, after all he hasn't been to a doctor in over 25 after all. He only allowed the first after his “Muse” grew tired of him vomiting blood everywhere, and wasn't able to move after intense abdominal pains, as if they were the man's fault. After the second visit (the follow up to make sure the medication was working) they grew close and bonded over there love of science. And then on the third visit the man gave her a dead mouse as a token of his appreciation. As disturbing as it was it was endearing, and it reminded of her cat, Calamari, if it were any other patient she would be highly concerned for sure, but what little she did know about him she knew it was the only way he knew how to express affection. In short his life was more concerning then the dead animals he gave her. She desperately wanted him to seek mental help for his trama but he adamantly denied it saying nothings wrong and if he did he deserves it and how he should be grateful that his muse is merciful for putting up with his past problems.

She thought long and hard, if she were to help him she would have to get creative and probably break a few HIPAA violations. So after a few more visits to regain his trust she decided it was time. He was the last appointment of the day and asked if he could stay longer she told him it was to help fill in his medical charts and to record data, and promised him a lollipop for his help. These were two things he couldn't resist the promise of scientific research and food.

He looked At her confused with a lollipop pop in his mouth. She asked again, “Dr.Pines? Could you please tell me some more about you.”

To Ford what was originally routine physical Examination and quality time with someone he could trust, was turning well off. His Doctor had already been aware of himself, a man mid 60s he thinks it was hard to keep track of time in the bubble and time flew when he was with his beloved muse. He loved science and had an interest in biology, with a particular interest in lepidoptery (the study of moths.) And more importantly he did everything for his muse. He lives and breathes for the sake of him, he loved him and In return Ford knew he was special to his muse, and that made it all worth it.

“Dr. Pines I know this is difficult but I need this information for your chart.” The doctor continued. “Please start from the beginning, your childhood, if you would be so kind.”

The beginning. He didn't like thinking about any time before he came to his senses with his muse. To him they were the dark times, without the guiding light of his muse how did he even manage to live before his muse.

What was there to say really? He was born to an ex-concrete pourer turned pawn shop owner, and a pathological liar who made a career of being a fake phone psychic. He had 2 brothers, one older and one younger. The Doctor already knew about the younger one Stanley, his twin and the only one he had been in contact with post muse. They lived in a small beach town in Jersey. He was born a freak and was bullied all throughout his adolescent years, for it.

Then there was static. Then the next thing he remembers he was at college. He couldn't remember why he went to Backupsmore but he did and met a man he could call his friend. Fiddleford, he was a genius mechanical engineer, you name it he could build it. He supposed That was the reason Ford called him up one day to help him with a project. Again static.

It was a few years After his graduation he moved to a small town in Oregon. He spent many days hiking the surrounding woods in search of answers to the strange and unusual. One day he found it. From the paintings on a cave wall he found a way to summon a being from another dimension, the beings name was Bill, Stanford’s Muse, the light of his life, his shining star, beacon of hope, his lord and master. He informed Ford that there was a way to bridge his lowly inferior world to that of a gods'. And like the loyal man he was he got to work straight away. He called up friend who was squandering his potential with what he called a computermajig, a waste of time Ford thought.

The beginning stages were wonderful. His Muse, was lead them on the path of greatness, and with the aid of a friend the impossible was possible. That was until it all went…. More static filled the events that transpired on that day. He didn't like thinking about it to begin with. the day he-he… The thought alone brought him great shame to begin with, he hated that he once resisted… only flashes of anger, Betrayal, hurt, pain… an unbelievable amount of pain… he deserved everything second of it, after all he went against His muse. It was a rough 5 years. Most of it was spent chained up, starved, and severely dehydrated. More static. But in the end it was okay, thanks to his muse steering him on the correct path. How foolishly he was. After an eternity alone in a small dark room, his muse finally came and rescued him. He reward Stanford with his first meal in weeks and water life saving water he lovingly put more minerals in for him.(in reality the meal was nothing more then a dead rat and gutter water) He was always looking out for him even when he new he shouldn't have deserved it. But his Muse found it in his heart to forgive him so Stanford did the only thing he could think of to thank the being that saved him. He turned on the portal.

In the years since the activation of the portal. Stanford learned to be the perfect pet for his muse. When he was good he was rewarded with Jellybeans, and good dreams that served as revenge fantasies (take that Crampelter, 6 fingers are better then none, who's the Freak now). Sometimes he slips he doesn't mean too of course how could he intentionally do something that angerd his Muse. His Muse would try and correct the behavior, whether it be withholding food or isolation. Ford couldn't stress this enough it was his fault his Muse did this to him in the first place. He needed To be perfect for him, so he could finally recognize his devotion. So for now he'll sleep on a dog bed, eat the scientist Kibble, and attend the dog shows (which always ended badly and he spent the rest of his night sulking in the back of Dr. Oleander’s car.) He would happily do any of that if his Muse required it. He's fine what would a doctor know about this anyway. No one could understand.

Dr. Oleander was starting to regret this tactic. After she asked her patient a rather personal question, she just watched him stare off into space, his eyes devoid of any life. She tried to speak to him again, but nothing registered. It was 30 minutes of intense silence. The best she could do was work on the much need paperwork until her patient came through. It wasn't much longer after her final bit of paperwork was finished when a small voice apologized, thinking he might have dozed off for a second. She lied to him, saying that it was alright she saw how tired he was, and he deserved the sleep. She gave him his prescription and a few more of her lollipops for the road. The man seemed more interested in the sweets then the life-saving medicine. She led him to the front door and offered him a ride back. He politely denied the request, seeing how the weather was pleasant enough for a walk. She wished him the best and gave Him a date and time for their next appointment and reminded him to floss more as per Dr. Ibis instructions. He smiled politely back at her and continued on his way. Once back in the safety of her office, she took down a notebook and scribbled more notes on her patient. At the end of her notes, she put down one more thought like it was a wish to the universe. “I hope Dr. Pines eventually gets the help he needs.”

Maybe it's for the best he didn't actually say anything...

(Poor bby!!! I love ittttt)

[kotegiris]

[Butler Story - Nac] Nac’s Secret

previous chapter ✧ all

Chapter 3

-A little later-

【Espoir - Back Alley Warehouse】

Men: Gwah…!

Men: Urgh…!

Thud, thud…

Nac: There we go.

Nac: That’s everyone.

Men: Urguuh…

Nac: Are you really assassins from the Stein family?

Nac: The famed family of assassins seems to be on the decline…

Men: T-This guy’s too strong…

Men: We didn’t land a single blow on him.

Men: He’s a stick. How is he so strong…

Muu: Amazing, Nac-san!

Muu: You beat so many people so fast!

Nac: Ahh~ That’s right. Before I forget, let me clarify one thing…

Nac: Everyone I’ve defeated is still breathing.

Nac: Rest assured, I avoided hitting anyone’s vitals.

Nac: I’ve already decided to stop taking lives.

Nac: You should treasure people’s lives too.

Men: D-Damn it…

Nac: Now that you’ve learned the hard way…

Young Man: Damn it!!

Young Man: It’s not over yet!

Nac: !!

Muu: Oh no! He’s going for Aruji-sama with a knife…!

Muu: Aruji-sama, dodge!

> Dodge to the right > Dodge to the left

Young Man: I knew you’d go that way!

> He knew…!? > I-I can’t dodge in time…!

Stab…

Muu: Aruji-sama!!!

Muu: W-Wait, what…

I thought I got stabbed, but I didn’t feel any pain.

I lifted my head, and in front of me, I saw Nac.

Nac: Kuh…

Nac: Aruji-sama… Are you alright…?

> Nac…! > Why did you…

Nac: Guh…

Muu: Nac-san, there’s a knife in your back…

Nac: …Oi

Young Man: Hiie!

Nac: Attempting to lay a hand on my Aruji-sama…

Nac: Seems like you’re asking for death.

Young Man: U-UWAAAAA!

Men: R-Run for it!!

Dash…

Nac: Hah… They’ve escaped.

Nac: I intended to capture and hand them over to the guards, but…

Nac: It’ll be difficult with this wound…

Nac: …Urgh… Aruji-sama, are you injured?

Nac: My apologies for letting you experience something so dangerous.

> Worry about yourself first!

Nac: Oh, this?

Nac: No need to worry. I wasn’t stabbed in a vital area.

Muu: I-I’ll get some water and something to stop the bleeding!

Nac: Sorry to trouble you, Muu-kun.

Nac: Hah…

> Are you okay?

Nac: Please don’t make that face.

Nac: You look lovelier, smiling.

Nac: Well, I guess it’s hard to smile in this situation.

Nac: My apologies for scaring you.

Nac: …Urgh…

> You got injured because of me…

Nac: I’m used to getting injured like this.

Nac: My body is littered with scars anyway.

Nac: This is just another one.

Nac: And…

Nac: I’m quite proud of myself right now.

> Proud?

Nac: This body bears many scars, but…

Nac: This is the first one I’ve received from protecting a loved one.

Nac: This wound is nothing to be ashamed of.

Nac: Rather, it’s something I take pride in.

> Even in this situation you’re still so smug

Nac: Fufu. That’s the type of person Nac Stein is.

Nac: I’m truly glad you’re safe.

END

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

It’s difficult to talk about gender dynamics because no one wants to be grouped in with incel man children but, as much as it pains me to say this, if Cait were a man, a lot more people would’ve been banging the abusive relationship drum. Very, very, very few characters can get away with gut punching their partners without being labeled as an abuser, and even less can do so without uttering a single apology (I already talked about Cait’s cut off “apology”) or showing some signs of remorse.

I can’t fathom what the 3 arcane writers were thinking when they agreed on writing that scene with 0 follow-up, as if Cait’s words weren’t enough to break Vi. Like I said, I’ve been soured on Caitvi ever since, but showing Cait kneeling for Vi would’ve gone a long way to shifting the power dynamics

And I maintain the fact that Cait should’ve been the one to top Vi, she should’ve been the one to lower herself for her. I will not shut up about this

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[minimallycreative]

as someone who gets scared really easily, playing Oxenfree at 1 in the morning until 3:45 is maybe the best choice ive ever made.

[coldlikethestars]

.

[gudakdalee]

i actually think jinx's ending makes sense... i dont think it was a surprise or unwarranted, esp when the writers set up every warning leading up to it since 2x03

i get that fans are sad to see her go, but story-wise, thematically, character arc-wise, and relationally, it was an ending that just fit. It hurt, but it fit. it punched home her journey/growth, and allowed the sister relationship to grow another layer, that certain bittersweet resolution. And im not saying jinx had to pass in order for us to feel her impact, but I'm saying her decision of sacrifice makes sense for her journey and shows how far she's come.

if we got every fairytale ending we imagine, it would be ooc, and we as viewers wouldn't feel the sacrifice or lessons to the same degree.

[cloudsrust]

Tfw you have to crawl out of artblock and fatigue because your new fave doesn't have enough content (I have to feed the fixation on my own.)

[highspeedinterconnect]

this week has been fucking awful I just wanna lay down somewhere quiet w my gf and cats. holy shit

[renytherat]

i do not want to live here anymore

[oldtvandcomics]

To get some positivity in this tag: Let me tell you about my recent bustrip to Prague! While narcoleptic. It was really great, and a bit tricky, and I think we can use some stories of disabled people doing fun things.

Background story: I was visiting my grandmother, and took the bus both there and back, because it's different, and because I really wanted to actually see some more of the Europe I spent my life running there and back through (we live in the West, my Grandmother in the East). On the way back, I spent two nights in Prague. It was a highly anticipated part of the trip, as I still kind of miss the city after my one year there. It was also the most tricky part of the whole thing to manage.

You see, my bus arrived at 6.00h, and check-in at the hotel was at 15.00h. Which is a good nine hours between the two.

I am pretty much guaranteed to fall asleep every three to four hours.

Rest of the story under the cut.

For those not aware of the weather right now in Eastern Europe: It's COLD. And SNOWY! So when I arrived at the bus station, my first reaction was pretty much "Nope!", and I went into the bathroom to put on an extra layer of clothes. I was fine after that.

You can walk from UÁN Florenc bus station to the Old Town pretty easily, which I knew because as I said, I've been there before. So I walked there, and stopped to buy myself some breakfast in a big supermarket at a metro station. After that, I went the usual way down to Old Town Square and the clock, and continued on to Charles Bridge.

At that point, it was still only between 7.00h and 8.00h, so of course there was close to nobody on the streets, only the people who had to be there. And snow. Lots of snow. Charles Bridge. People. Charles Bridge, normally black with age and full of tourists, was WHITE! And almost completely empty. I was there at sunrise. It was impossible to describe beautiful.

Pictures don't do it justice, but here are some. The river. People. The river was damping!

And yeah, this is Old Town Square.

I usually don't get this magic-place-feeling from Prague, because the people cover it up. Which is actually one of the reasons I like it, they cover up some of the useless noise in my brain, too. I'm more functional in a big city.

Anyway. This was clearly an exception. It really felt like walking in a wintery fairy tale. The only thing missing was a ghost.

After that, I went to the hotel, and dropped off my backpack. I like to travel with a light luggage, which made moving around earlier possible. And hotels are fine keeping luggages locked up in some room before check-in and after check-out.

I then took the tram number 22 direction Nádraží Hostivař. This was planned. One, I know the line, and know that it passes by two big shopping centres. Two, I know that I always fall asleep on any moving vehicle, and public transportation is a reasonably safe place to sleep.

Which is exactly what happened, I woke only when I was at the second shopping centre. So I went and looked at some shops, and bought myself a gift of three ice bear figurines. I sometimes like to take pictures of these plastic figurines, and the snow triggered that. I'm very sorry that I didn't have my actual collection with me. But the bears did a wonderful job, too.

This was behind a random tank station, where there was a table with benches where the snow was still completely untouched. So I played a little around there.

Then I took the tram to the other shopping centre, fell asleep again on the way there, looked a bit more at shops, had lunch in the KFC on the top floor and finished my book, then it was already time to take the tram back to the hotel. I fell asleep during that trip again, then I went to the hotel, checked in and got my room. All in all, I had managed to survive those 9+ hours without any greater discomfort, which is, honestly, better than I'd expected.

The end. Here are some more bears from the next day.

City wildlife. <3

[roseofcards90]

I wish I could tell if people still care or not 😭

[minhmynchi]

(venting in the tags ignore this lol)

[beardisable]

Everyone give a fuckton of respect and massive wage rises to sanitation workers RIGHT FUCKING NOW