lightsiided

[lightsiided]

𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑, 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

indie, highly selective, plot focused portrayal of thor odinson from the mcu. very crossover & oc friendly. 21+ only, written by bri. read rules before following.

[lightsiided]

headcanon question: what was the process like for thor and rey while they were trying to figure out names for their kids? did they come to an agreement pretty quickly or did they have a little back and forth about it?

     i think leia and frigga's names were agreed upon easily, but the other two took a little more discussion and took much longer

from the moment rey knew she was pregnant with their first she had the idea to name their daughter after either leia or frigga. being pregnant meant the both of them were on her mind constantly and rey frequently found herself talking to leia aloud or in her mind (not necessarily her force ghost, but just thinking about her a lot) and wishing she were there to give advice. there were a few suggestions they were both sort of ambivalent towards, but one day she and thor were chatting with rey's baby bump together in bed and she put her hands over thor's and was like, i think her name is leia.

so then after that naming their second frigga was a natural conversation and they agreed right away -- not even that far into the pregnancy.

but with the boys there was a lot of back and forth, and naming the boys took foreeeeeever. thor suggested lots of names but none of them ever felt right. again they thought of naming their son after a fallen friend or relative but rey didn't like a lot of the names thor suggested and then all of their family and friends started to get involved and offer suggestions which just made it worse

they only agreed on freyr's name a few days before he was born, and they didn't decide on reginn's until after they were holding him. rey had suggested naming reginn after loki (their youngest was a handful from the moment he arrived, so it seemed only fitting), but thor hadn't wanted to. so once he was born they were like 'we still need a name for this little guy,' and eventually thor suggested reginn, which was acceptable to her. but it took a lot to find something they agreed upon!

[lightsiided]

headcanon question: what is thor's favorite memory of and/or with rey?

he doesn't have one favorite above all else, and he has many that he's very fond of so i'll just name a few. in no particular order:

their first kiss — she initiated; she was very nervous, it was cute.

their first time — he left to search for the infinity stones and then murphy's law ensued and he had literally no way of getting back to her like he promised, but she found him (again) and in the midst of so much tragedy and loss, her clawing her way back to him... yeah.

the first time she really showed off her piloting skills in the falcon; not the same as when he left asgard with her.

getting to bring her back to 2013 asgard and watching her meet frigga ... seeing them together meant everything to him.

also getting to introduce her to loki at least a decade after having lost them. he never could fully accept loki being gone, above everyone else. they went looking for him, found nothing (of course), and when he finally started to try moving on, there he was. he cherishes having her by his side through that time and having it pay off.

when she woke him up one day to tell him she was pregnant.

finally finishing building their new home in hyperkarn and waking up with her in their new room; it was the whole starting a new chapter in their lives, settling into being husband & wife, also the sunlight was hitting her just right and she was breathtaking

their wedding night (specifically the first one; they had 3 ceremonies). they danced in the rain out on the balcony of a hotel and it was lovely and romantic. and then the other stuff.

watching her watch & hold their newborn daughter.

when she said yes to his proposal.

[lightsiided]

     she hums curiously, watching thor closely. "loki had twins?" he'd never mentioned it before, and she's heard PLENTY of stories about thor's brother. the sadness thor carries at the mention of them is clear in his voice, on his face. rey can feel it in the air around them. she supposes she doesn't need to ask what happened to them, why she never had the chance to meet them. "well, even though centuries have passed, you are still a natural. you will be a wonderful father."

the words are said simply, easily. she hardly even thinks about them before they leave her lips. it is a foregone conclusion, now that they are to be wed, rey thinks. they both want children, and they will have them. TOGETHER. the promise of it is a bright spot in the agony of this day. one day they will be here again -- with better spirits.

she feels a smile pull at her lips as thor leans into her touch. "i know," rey returns, just as quietly. "but i can't help it. we will have to make SURE she is where she should be." she watches thor rock the baby, feeling some of her fears start to abate despite herself. he is so effortlessly calming. they are all safe, now, here together. nothing can ever be so terrible when the love of her life is this HAPPY.

rey helps him find what he needs in the bag, then follows closely behind as he brings the baby into the kitchen. her eyes bounce from thor to the baby and back again, tracking even the slightest movements. as soon as they stop at the counter, she lifts a hand and waves it to light one of the lamps on the table. for a moment, she says nothing -- lost in thought as she opens the bottle and follows thor's instructions to prepare the baby's food.

"we can call her that, then. LOVE." she nudges the open bottle back towards thor, looking towards the baby, who watches him with an equally rapt attention. "love," rey tries again, smiling brightly when she receives a coo in response. it is a beautiful name -- a reminder of what gorr had given his life for. WHY thor is with her now, instead of lost to rey forever. she clears her throat to dispel a sudden lump. "you're very sweet with her," rey murmurs. "she likes you."

his smile starts slight, his knee nudging against hers when she’s close enough.  it grows when her hand finds his cheek, enough so that his eyes crinkle and he must resist a laugh.  perhaps he shouldn’t be so giddy — it has been an unbelievably long & grueling day.  tragedy still trails closely behind them, and his heart does still ache for jane’s loss, but…  rey.  rey.  it is difficult to be anything but delighted with her near, knowing they will promise forever to one another.

“i have.  i would help care for loki’s twins, long ago.  centuries.  it has been… a long time since i have thought of them.”  happy as he is, thor’s voice weighs with sadness.  he has given all the grief he can to váli and narvi.  but it saddens him to know he’s not kept them in his heart as he’d promised to.  “i suppose even things you’d thought long forgotten have a way of coming back.”  sitting here now, holding a baby in his arms again, it certainly feels familiar — even if he has a lot of re-learning to do.

“that feels nice,” he murmurs, so quietly it’s nearly whispered.  as if called forward by her touch, thor’s head tilts into her palm before he continues.  “we will ensure she finds a good family.  who will keep her safe, protect her.  who will never let her be alone.  you mustn’t worry.”

rocking the baby slowly in his arms, he tears his eyes away to look up at rey.  still, though it momentarily simmered, happiness seems to pour from him.  even amongst his exhaustion, through the dread the day has carried.  he presses a kiss to her wrist.

“will you hold this bag open, please?”  thor reaches behind himself with one hand, careful not to disturb the baby, and holds it out to rey.  “there should be a bottle for her in here.  and baby food.  i think i know how to prepare it for her.  grace said it is straightforward enough.”  as he speaks, he digs with one hand until he finds what he’s looking for.  first, the bottle, then the can of formula.

carrying the two in one hand and the baby in the other, thor rises again, stepping around rey to make his way toward the kitchen.  he leaves his bedroom, cuts through the living area, and takes a left at the entryway.  the kitchen is dark, but enough moonlight streams through the window and the cracks in the wood for him to navigate where he’s going.

“i never heard him say a name.  can you twist the top off of the bottle?”  set atop the counter, he pushes it in rey’s direction while he works to open the formula.  the little one is watching his every move, he notes as he glances sideways at her, but she is still quiet.  “he’d called her ‘my love’ a few times, just as i refer to you.”

[lightsiided]

     poe glances between the two of them, back and forth, before his eyes settle on thor. "well," he starts carefully, "i wasn't sure if my headcount was complete or not. right now i've got three squadrons. whoever hits akiva is going to have to go on."

rey's quiet for a moment as she contemplates the plan. this seems too important to leave to the pilots, especially with poe injured. but she did promise thor one more day of rest. as she silently considers what it will be like to BREAK that promise when peace has only just settled between them, rey becomes aware of thor's hand rubbing her shoulder. it's as if he knows precisely what she is thinking.

she opens and closes her mouth, then sighs. yes, she wants to be there. she NEEDS to be there -- to see this through. to know that the first order is destroyed. they cannot be afforded the chance to rebuild, not after all they've done. how can she sit in bed knowing her friends risk their lives again?

still, the expression on her face is apologetic as she looks up at thor. "we need to go to corellia," she says quietly. "if large numbers of them are organizing anywhere, it will be there. corellia is rich in the resources they need... and positioned at the edge of the galaxy, where ecape would be EASY." rey reaches up to squeeze the hand thor holds her shoulder with. "we'll go in the falcon. both of us."

she is more grateful of his understanding than she knows how to express. rey briefly tilts her cheek onto their joined hands, hoping he can hear her silent thank you. in this moment, there is no doubting she is LOVED. even at the height of his fretting, thor knows her well enough to realize she must be with the rest of the resistance. he sees her, inside and out.

rey clears her throat, looking back at poe. "you're going to fly like that?" she asks, nodding at his arm.

poe smirks. "finn said he would. but i was sort of hoping you'd feel up to doing the BOTH of us a favor and getting me right."

with a laugh, she rises to her feet again. "i think i can do that, yes." as carefully as possible, rey undoes the knot holding the sling in place. poe's arm isn't broken -- just injured. with a light glide of her fingers, the damage is gone. as she watches poe flex his fingers, she's pleased. the simple act of HEALING has left her feeling like herself again.

slowly, she returns to thor's side at the other end of the table. rey reaches for his hand to interlock their fingers. "i have to speak with finn, now. then i'll send him to you so you can review the plan before we meet with the pilots. and i'll start flight prep --" she squeezes thor's hand, tugging him forward, "-- with the help of my very thoughtful and PROTECTIVE trusted companion."

“very funny.”

after they’ve chased the droids away, thor’s now free hands clasp the waist of his pleather pants as he follows the two into the room.  ducking in the entryway, his eyes lazily scan his surroundings when his head lifts.  so this is where poe has been hiding away — it makes sense, he supposes.  being unable to tear oneself away from the fight, from work, seems to be common amongst this group of people.  himself included, but he won’t be admitting to as much.

“now you mock me, too?”  thor idles amongst the empty space while rey takes her seat at the table; his steps are slow in carrying him forward, stopping behind her chair.  one hand grips its back, while the other falls to her shoulder.  though his face remains stoic, he knows she will feel his lightheartedness.  “you are meant to be on my side, always.  i will remember that.”

leaning over her, he eyes the maps strewn about the table while they speak.  thor is quiet, not wanting to interrupt — but also deep in thought.  it is hard, even now, more than a decade after such a turning point in his life, to be able to distinguish whether he is pulled toward a decision as a leader or a warrior.  it makes sense; but which side of him thinks so?  the one who considers the wellbeing of the galaxy at large, or the side who wishes to see the first order punished and pummeled into nothing?

rey looks at him, and when their eyes lock, he wonders if they’re thinking the same thing.  he understands why she poses her question; the first order has taken a mighty blow, but the resistance has lost numbers, too.  their weapons and equipment were already scarce, and though people all around the galaxy are lending their hands in aide in a newfound spark of hope…  it will only offer so much against a regime (devastated as it is) like the first order.

thor draws in a breath, straightening, squeezing her fingers as her hand reaches for his.  “how many are preparing to go?”  he was there.  it was brief — all of his focus had been on finding her — but he’d seen enough.  they lost a lot of fighters on exegol.  “i agree that it is wise to keep dealing blows whilst they are weakened.  waiting to regain a fraction of what you’ve lost…  every moment, they are frantically trying to strengthen themselves once more.  the seconds are crucial.”

“so,” he drawls hesitantly, “perhaps it would be equally as wise to send someone who can more than fill the space of the fallen.”  his eyes flit from poe to rey, who’s shoulder he rubs reassuringly.  “and i would prefer that you stay here and get the rest you need,” as they’d discussed, as she’d promised,”  but— before you protest— i will understand if you want to be there, too.”

[lightsiided]

[lightsiided]

     The ritual of preparing for takeoff helps ground her. Rey finds PEACE in the act of powering the engines and checking the computer to ensure their flight path has loaded. It is familiar, being in the cockpit -- centering. Just as the flight simulator had brought her comfort on Jakku, the Falcon does the same. She has a mission to focus on, now. Something to bring her purpose.

It's all she thinks of as she brings them up into orbit -- the mission. They are working within a limited window of time and everyone is counting on them. More than that... they have garnered a REPUTATION in the galaxy, since the war began. They can't afford to be caught; not now, not by anyone. Still... it's nice to be out, away from the base, all the same. It's even better that she's with Finn. "It feels strange... flying just us again. There always seems to be someone around in need of one of us, lately."

"I know." He repeated her sentiment just as quiet. He knew what it was like to wish for things to be different. Wondering who he could have been if not for other things, but he had to realize that all of that was out of his control. What he could decide was who he wanted to be here and now. He just hoped he wasn't making the wrong choice. Not again.

"Anytime." Finn gave her a soft smile before he nodded and followed her lead. He pushed himself with the idea that one day they'd get to feel normal -- whatever that meant. A world where they weren't constantly fighting for their lives was a start. A world where he'd feel a lot less afraid of losing her. The way the mere thought tugged at his heart as he buckled himself into his seat on the falcon.

[lightsiided]

     the baby remains blissfully unaware of everything unfolding around her. she sucks on her hand and stares up at rey the entire time rey holds her -- not crying or stirring. just watching. her emotions seem very STABLE; rey tries not to let herself get too worked up as they walk through town together. all the while, she sticks close by thor's side, near enough to feel his body heat. they don't talk much as they collect their provisions. the baby remains in rey's arms, and thor handles the rest. he talks to any citizens who approach them, he carries the bassinet and clothes and toys they will need back home.

rey is lost in thought for much of the trip. she can't help but to wonder what future they have condemned this child to. rey knows well what it is like to live without parents -- how LONELINESS can become so prevalent it is impossible to distinguish yourself from it. what will happen to her, now?

she looks up at the sound of thor's voice, nodding quickly so that he might believe she has been listening to him. rey's eyes fall on the bassinet, placed beside their bed. it will be good to have her so close. she may need one of them during the night, given the unfamiliar environment. they are STRANGERS to her, after all. anyone would be upset. scared. confused. lost.

yet rey doesn't sense any of those feelings from the bundle in her arms. she wonders if she herself had been so placid, all those years ago on jakku. rey remembers crying, being frightened. forcing herself to lock those thoughts away. she feels her throat tighten now at the thought of it. only thor taking the baby from her pulls her from her reverie. after a moment, rey follows him to the edge of the bed, hovering in front of him. she should move to unpack the bags, to do something with her hands... but she is struck by how the baby seems particularly SMALL in thor's arms.

"yes," she murmurs. she clears her throat, hoping to dispel some emotion. "she must be hungry." but she hasn't CRIED. perhaps she is still getting used to the sensation of being alive again. rey's heart swells as she watches thor consider her, his brow furrowed with concern. he is so lovely. there aren't words for the surge of tenderness she feels -- how deeply she loves and adores him.

not everyone is granted the chance to glimpse their future so clearly, but rey is staring at it now in perfect resolution. it brings the sweetest ache to her chest -- it is so profound she almost has trouble standing. "you've done this before?" she asks. her curiosity propels her closer. rey takes another step forward, until their legs bump. she reaches out to cup thor's cheek in her hand. "you do seem to be a NATURAL. and she... appears content. i've been thinking... while we were out, it's hard not to be afraid for her. her life will be so different."

and so uncertain. what will she think, when she is old enough to understand what has happened? will she be upset with the choices that were made tonight? rey's thumb strokes back and forth over thor's cheek, even as she drops her gaze to the baby once more. "did he tell you her name? there must be something we can call her."

it hadn’t originally occurred to him —— why parting, even if only for a few minutes, may be among the last things she would want to do right now.  gorr is dead, his wish to eliminate all the gods never came to fruition.  for now (as far as they are concerned), all is right in the universe.  but the moment her face shifts from adoring to horrified, thor knows.  he knows where it stems from before she’s had the chance to speak.

of course.  how many times has fate tried to pull them apart?  how many times have they parted, only to find out something awful had befallen the other?  it isn’t rational, to always expect darkness at every turn —— but it is all still so fresh.  probably, the wounds this day have created will take long to heal.  even then… who knows how long the scars will be visible?  pity passes through him; sighing, slumping his shoulders, he lifts the hand she doesn’t hold to touch her face.  his gentle grip pulls her closer.

“alright, alright.  i apologize.  of course you can come along.”  tenderly, he presses a kiss to her forehead.  seconds pass and he simply holds her there, giving her the moment to soak in his affection before they must be off and duty ensues.  “you have nothing to be sorry for, love.  i understand completely.”  it is a panic he himself is familiar with.

holding steadily to her hand, fingers intertwined, thor pulls her along as he descends back down the hill after they’ve parted.  windy cliffside gives way to rows of homes once more, grass giving way to cobblestone as they near the street.  whistling of wind fades, and the sounds of joy & celebration in farther - off streets return.  all is still quiet where they meet val, bouncing gorr’s daughter on her hip as she paces in wait.

* * *

avoiding everyone hadn’t been as difficult as expected.  the people of new asgard were too wrapped up in their celebration, in the joy of the newly safe, returned children, to notice thor and rey quietly passing through the streets.  alerting heimdall’s wife to their need of assistance whilst going unnoticed was a challenge —— but they had managed.  axl had been only a baby when ragnarok happened; though much of his belongings from those days have been passed along to help the next families in need, some still lingered.  thor is thankful for that, as they make the journey back to his home.

as the edge of new asgard approaches and he can see the moonlight glinting against the waves, his steps become slower, more careful.  in one arm, he carries a bassinet for the baby to sleep in.  more than one bag hangs from his shoulders —— full of clothes, food, diapers, toys axl has long since outgrown.  the necessities will need to be restocked soon… he thinks.  how long she’ll be here, he doesn’t know.  should they prepare for a longterm stay?  can they handle caring for a baby longer than a few weeks?  only when he gently pushes his door open with his foot and steps inside do the nerves surrounding the task begin to rear their heads.

“in here.  she will sleep beside us.”  through the narrow entryway, past the stone wall & fireplace of the living area, he stops only once he’s in the bedroom.  the bassinet is placed between the bed and the wall; the bags slip from his arms, placed atop the mattress.  for a moment, he simply stands and surveys the room.  it isn’t much — certainly not arranged and equipped for a child — but for now, it’s enough.

turning, thor carefully plucks the baby from rey’s arms and sits with her at the edge of the bed.  “we should feed her before putting her down to sleep…  right?”  expectantly (and evidently lost), he looks at rey.  “i haven’t the first idea…”  trailing, thor sighs, and there is a flicker of recognition in his face before he turns his gaze back to the little one in his arms.  “it has been so long since i’ve done this.”

[lightsiided]

     it makes her surprisingly emotional -- seeing him beyond her bedside. rey blinks, then breaks from thor to throw her arms around poe in a hug. after a moment, he returns the gesture, squeezing her as tightly as he can with his single unwrapped arm. neither of them says a word, but rey feels gratitude pass between them. i'm so glad you're alright.

she skims her fingers over the sling that cradles his injured arm as they break apart. it doesn't seem too TERRIBLE an injury. in the grand scheme of things, they are so lucky none of them are hurt worse. "the arm's alright, thanks," poe says, looking between the pair of them. he squeezes rey's shoulder, then cracks a small grin. "he finally let you out of bed, eh?"

around their feet, the droids continue to beep angrily at them. "yeah, yeah," poe says, waving them off. "scram, would you? go bother someone who's actually sick." he inclines his head towards a door across the hall. "HERE."

it's clear as soon as the lamp is lit why the room is empty. there is no bed, no equipment that could be used to help anyone feel better. rey exhales a light laugh as she pictures the med droids trying to tend to poe while he insists on working from the table at the center of it, which is strewn with maps and beside the radio. "have you slept at all?" she asks. "careful -- before thor INSISTS you have a nap."

delicately, she slides into one of the empty chairs. rey reaches for the star map at the top of the pile, taking note of the circled planets. corellia. akiva. karaxis. all known first order affiliates, though some of their counterparts have been left alone, to rey's surprise. "vardos is secure?" she asks with disbelief. at last check, it had been a major first order recruitment site.

poe grimaces. "destroyed," he corrects, taking the seat opposite hers. "trooper rebellion."

rey hums, studying the galaxy map again. "so these are the remaining cells? who's leading them?"

"a few generals with an overinflated sense of self-importance. finn and i have been talking with the other squad leaders. they're ready to move tonight."

she glances back at thor, silently asking what he might think. her initial reaction is DIVIDED. surely, it would be best to stop any remaining first order splinters as soon as possible, before they can regroup. at the same time, there's no ignoring how their own resources have dwindled. who knows what they will be sending their remaining forces into?

"do we have any idea if they've been able to access their weapons stores?" corellia is particularly worrisome, given its position at the outer rim and its access to materials. but is she only being CAUTIOUS because of what happened? it's impossible not to second guess herself. rey draws a deep breath, reaching back for thor's hand. worrying won't solve anything.

"if you and finn are certain this is the best course of action, i support it. i just want to be sure we've thought a plan through. i... don't want to lose anyone else." but she knows she can't let the galaxy be RULED by that fear.

as was she, though thor doesn’t take the time to interject.  when she stops, he feels the tug of weight behind him and brings himself to a halt.  turning to face her, a small sigh leaves him.  their hands remain locked; their arms outstretch toward one another.  slowly, he takes the step back to her and pulls her gently into him.

“whatever your reasons may be…  we are partners.  i want to share this life with you; that includes its troubles and turmoils.  i want you to do the same.  it is what people who love each other do — just as i know i can rely on you, i want you to be able to do the same.”  though still firm in his conviction, thor’s voice softens.  it will never be a harsh touch she is met with, not from him.

“in exchange for patience,” he continues, his free hand grasping her chin, “i ask for faith.”  it is something she seems to pull from a bottomless well.  faith that he is more than his failures, that he can overcome the worst things to happen to him.  that he isn’t, and never has been, a lost cause, despite his own insistence otherwise.  but it can be extended to other areas.  “whatever it is that frightens you so and prevents you from sharing your problems with me… if you think you will hurt me or, somehow, send me running… know that it isn’t true.  have faith that i am sturdier and more prepared than your fears try to convince you.”

simply, thor has seen much of the universe.  he has witnessed so much violence — caused a great deal with his own hands.  he is no stranger to the horrors life and fate seem to pull from thin air.  it doesn’t shake him as it does her mortal friends.  nothing she is capable of, that is.  and with his own history, his family’s… it’s as he told his brother once, long ago: surrender isn’t in his nature.  nothing could convince him to turn away from her.

pulling their joined hands to his mouth, thor presses a kiss to her knuckles.  for just a moment longer he lingers; the mix of seriousness and love in his eyes, he hopes, says enough.  in the next breath he is pulling rey along again, walking slowly through the halls of the medcenter.  it’s far from resembling the infirmary on asgard, or a hospital on earth.  less organized, stocked with less supplies.  hopefully, that will soon change.  poe’s injuries weren’t nearly as severe; currently, he wears a slink to support his arm.  thor imagines he’ll need medicine for the pain.  

if he’ll bother to take them.  her friends are just as stubborn as she is.

but accepting more medicine isn’t where they find him.  turning a corner, rey’s hand still in his, he registers the beeping of the droids just in time to stop.  poe, however, collides into thor, his already-injured arm meeting a dense wall of muscle.  “my apologies,” thor says, unmoving from where he stands.  he gently tugs rey forward.  “we were just looking for you.  how is your arm?”

[lightsiided]

     a beam of sunlight crosses his handsome face. rey glances up to watch the clouds part, silent appreciation for thor's gesture nestling into her bones. a knot within her seems to unwind and, after a moment, a gentle, content sigh leaves her lips. instantly, rey starts to feel her energy increase. the sun warms her skin and the planet around them. in turn, it feeds its life to her. she is acutely aware of every blade of grass beneath their feet, every flower and tree nearby. rey leans back against thor's chest and soaks the sun in like one of them.

it is quite PEACEFUL, even more so when she feels his head lean into hers. rey lets her eyes slide shut, appreciating the quiet. thor is so close she can feel the beat of his heart, the way his chest rises and falls with each breath. rey turns in to tuck herself closer to him, as if they are in bed and she is reluctant to slip from the sheets and greet the day. the war is won, after all.

unfortunately, that doesn't mean their work is over. as she is lifted to her feet, rey opens her eyes, stretching her arms above her head. it is quite a loaded question; neither conversation will be EASY. both come with their own challenges, complexities she has been enjoying not considering for these last few moments.

there is an apology that must be made to finn. more discussion that must happen about their future, about all she'd said and had allowed to be left unsaid. when thought about THAT WAY, the tactical conversation with poe seems much simpler. "poe," rey murmurs, then. she clears her throat. "let's get his reports and start to think of a plan for the next few days so we can start sending people off. i'm sure there are at least a few squadrons already starting to get restless."

she squeezes his hand, following behind thor with a smile. it is sweet, how he tugs her along. how he keeps her close, how he refuses to relinquish his grip. "the conversation with finn will be longer. i want to give it the attention it deserves -- without distraction. talking to poe will take some things off my mind." the noise of the OTHERS grows louder, the closer they come. the peace of the jungle is replaced by the snippets of chatter she overhears as their team members wave and call out to her.

but she stops before they reenter the room, concern making her still. immediately, rey feels GUILTY -- he is right; she had hidden things from him. she hadn't called when she needed his help, hadn't wanted to ruin his travels. she hadn't wanted to ask. even now, part of her believes she has burdened him with some unnamed heaviness, something he can't possibly want to deal with or care about. yet here he is, asking her for more. it is a phenomenon she's not sure she'll ever understand.

rey hesitates, looking down at her toes. "you were dealing with a lot," she reminds, trying not to be too defensive. is it so wrong to not want to add to that load? he must know she never intended for any of this to happen. "it's not that i... don't want to tell you." alongside what he has already guessed, she was also AFRAID. afraid of his reaction, or that thor might not understand. that he would be afraid of what she might do, like she knows her friends were. she bites at the inside of her cheek. "i promise i will try to be more forthcoming in the future. i just ask that you're patient with me. it's somewhat of a... new concept."

“you helped.”

reverently does thor stare up at her, from beneath his lashes.  their faces are so close that he can see clearly all the details of hers.  the scar on her cheek, each individual freckle.  the subtle beginnings of lines at the corners of her eyes.  love, content, appreciation in her eyes — everything he feels mirrored back at him.

“please, know that.  it may not feel like it — that fault is only my own — but you did.  more than anyone could have.  if not for you, i… don’t believe i could have survived these last five years.  i don’t believe i would have wanted to.”

it is an uncomfortable truth.  everything between them had become so distant, so strained.  thor’s emotions clouded everything good — even her.  all her attempts, lifelines that they were, were shot down.  so much arguing followed by tense silence, and still…  rey was the only thing that remained for him to look forward to.  to brighten his days, even if it was barely visible through the storm clouds.  where would he have been without that?  that fight surely would have been his last.  who could possibly endure such nothingness?

silence falls over him — content and comfortable.  thor simply basks in her touch and her closeness.  he says nothing as he grants her request; above them, the clouds begin to dissipate and the shine of the sun breaks through.  grey skies give way to clear blue.  at the same time, he pulls her further into his lap, his arm holding her protectively against him.  first his chin meets her shoulder, then he tilts his head against hers.

for many moments, he simply appreciates the serenity.  the golden rays of the sun peaking through the jungle trees, the sounds of animals scurrying about now that the ground warms.  he doesn’t know exactly how much time has passed when he at last lifts his head, presses a kiss to the base of her neck, and turns his eyes up toward her again.

“who would you like to see first: poe, or finn?”  hands on her hips, he is careful in lifting rey off of him and settling her on her feet.  he rises behind her without relinquishing his hold.  each step he takes is slow; tenderly, he guides her along with him.  “i had mentioned earlier, there are things i think you and finn have to discuss.  possibly… privately.”  regardless, the direction he takes them in will lead them back inside.

more members pass them by, and thor’s small smile is more genuine, now, as he nods to them in greeting.  but upon approaching the threshold of the medcenter, thor’s head dips, and his voice lowers.

“similarly…  you have withheld a lot recently.  i believe it stems from fear of not wanting to burden anyone.  you believe everyone’s personal problems are enough to bear, correct?  and you don’t wish to add to it.  i don’t want you to do that anymore — not ever again, not with me.”  there is a firmness in his voice that hadn’t previously been there, but there is only concern in thor’s eyes as he watches her.  “if there is something that must be said, you say it.  you tell me what troubles you.  i promise to do the same.  hiding from one another…  it only hurts us both, in the end.”

[lightsiided]

tcm (thorrey cinematic multiverse)

[lightsiided]

we want the same thing.  and you know. . .  I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT.

indie, highly selective, KATHERINE PIERCE of the vampire diaries.  written as a fandomless character.  preference for plotted threads & dynamics.  written by bri.  ♡

[lightsiided]

     as the silence stretches, her eyebrows lift. at first, she can't quite tell from the look on ben's face whether or not she's said TOO MUCH. this is new for them -- speaking about each other so plainly. rey has just enough time to panic she's somehow misstepped or interpreted his own declaration wrong before his hand extends and she relaxes. she slips her fingers into his, grabbing ben's hand and squeezing.

somehow, it feels different from all the other times before. perhaps it is the PROMISE of the future that now feels tangible between them -- as if they have nothing but possibility stretching before them. they can do anything, now. very little stands in their way. the reminder makes her smile until her cheeks ache, a warm glow bringing a flush to her face. "me?" rey laughs. "i don't know about THAT. you're usually good for a plan or two; give yourself some credit."

ben knows more than just his way around the ships. he is so talented; there is no feat of engineering that can best him. working alongside him to repair a starcraft is as easy and natural as breathing. often, they hardly even feel a need to talk. they simply work around one another in sync, as if they both know what the other might want or need without having to ASK for it. "and you've been so helpful with the ships. so KNOWLEDGEABLE -- i couldn't have done any of this without you. more than that... i've had a lot of fun fixing them up together."

her flush deepens, but she remains smiling sweetly at ben, hoping her assurances have set him at ease. she steps closer, letting their joined hands swing between their bodies. "really, i just want you to know you can always talk to me about anything. that i'm here for you no matter what... and that you're important to me." she hadn't wanted to put pressure on him, but now that she sees how much her promises have meant to him, rey's grateful she shared. she hopes she's made him feel as good as his company has made her feel. knowing he's been here for her to talk to -- that she isn't ALONE -- has meant more to rey than she knows how to express. so ben knowing the same is important to her, and she's glad she's been able to show such a kindness to him.

         some  part  of  ben  hoped  that  he  could  have  admitted  his  feelings  sooner .   granted  ,  he  had  spoken  quite  openly  of  his  feelings  for  rey  ,  but  it  felt  like  he  was  digging  a  little  deeper  into  his  core  .   he  was  never  really  one  to  put  a  lot  of  stock  into  his  feelings  ,  although  it  was  something  that  he'd  found  himself  doing  more  when  he  was  younger  .   he  was  pining  for  rey  &&  he  didn't  quite  know  how  to  process  that  .   he  wasn't  going  to  bury  his  emotions  [  …  ]  he  didn't  deserve  that  ,  not  after  all  this  time  .   kriff  ,  rey  didn't  deserve  that  .   if  he  buried  his  emotions  ,  ben  knew  that  he  would  backpedal  .  potentially  ,  all  the  progress  that  he'd  made  would  be  wasted  in  a  way  that  he  really  couldn't  imagine  .

         with  assistance  ,  he  knew  that  he'd  be  able  to  get  back  where  he  had  been  before  ,  but  it  wasn't  a  risk  he  wanted  to  take  .   he  didn't  want  to  damage  anything  that  he  had  with  rey  .   he'd  risked  it  once  .   he'd  be  a  fool  to  let  it  happen  again  .   of  all  the  things  that  ben  solo  was  ,  of  all  the  things  he  could  be  ,  he  did  not  tolerate  being  a  fool.   

         he  wasn't  expecting  a  response  ,  but  the  response  that  he  got  made  his  heart  soar  .

         the  former  darksider  stared  at  his  hands  ,  gaze  alternating  between  his  hands  &&  rey  as  he  tried  to  keep  his  thoughts  in  order  .   he  wanted  to  say  something  ,  to  hug  her  ,  but  listening  to  her  admit  to  the  same  feelings  that  he  shared  had  left  him  speechless  .   he  felt  stunned  ,  but  he  also  felt  incredibly  grounded  .   rey  had  always  made  him  feel  grounded  .   was  he  sure  how  it  had  started  ?   no  ,  although  he  could  trace  it  back  to  when  they  were  younger  &&  had  shared  so  much  with  each  other  .   now  that  they  were  older ,  they  fell  back  into  those  self  -  same  patterns  &&  ben  felt  that  he  was  better  for  it  .   maybe  it  wasn't  the  truth  ,  but  he  knew  that  he  was  a  little  more  free  with  his  emotions  .   he  was  in  an  environment  that  cherished  &&  almost  praised  those  emotions  ,  unlike  how  he'd  spent  the  formative  years  of  his  life  .

         even  luke's  academy  ,  no  matter  how  his  uncle  tried  to  be  different  ,  had  left  little  room  for  any  emotions  that  would  impact  his  students'  progression  through  their  journey  as  a  padawan  .   

         his  thoughts  shuffle  again  ,  &&  he  gently  holds  out  his  hand  toward  her  .  he  just  wants  to  hold  her  hand  ,  but  can't  figure  out  how  to  ask  for  it  .   “  you're  the  brains  behind  anything  we  do  ,  ”  he  admits  ,  “  i  just  happen  to  know  my  way  around  a  handful  of  ships  .  ”   is  he  being  modest  ?   maybe  a  little  ,  but  he's  also  not  shy  about  giving  credit  where  it  was  due  .   rey  deserved  so  much  credit  .

[lightsiided]

thorrey + fighting styles

[lightsiided]

SOONER OR LATER,   the lightning comes to us all.

OTHUNDEROUS is a highly selective roleplay blog for THOR ODINSON, GOD OF THUNDER of the marvel cinematic universe.  influenced majorly by headcanons, minorly by marvel comics and norse mythology.  heavy preference for plotted dynamics.  sporadic - low activity.  21+ & written by bri.  read guidelines prior to following.

[lightsiided]

"the fact that i've made it this far is a miracle in itself."

* things other muses said prompts | accepting

     rey felt that way once, too. she knows how easy it is to get stuck in the seemingly endless spiral of SELF-DOUBT. for much of the war, she wondered what business she had presuming to lead anyone. even after she was welcomed by the resistance, she often felt out of place. misunderstood.

time would eventually prove her WRONG. she hopes the same for khione.

for now, she tries her best to be encouraging. "don't say that," rey says. "you're tough. you're strong. you work hard. there's no miracle that can make those things happen for you. YOU have to do them. and you have."

she squeezes the other girl's hand, offering a gentle smile. "give yourself some credit. you've made it this far because of your own resilience. that's not something just anyone can do."

@freezegirl

[lightsiided]

this will help with the pain.

* patching up wounds prompts | accepting

     she doesn't ask what it is -- she doesn't CARE. rey simply takes the glass from the other woman's hand and drinks the liquid within it in one go, squeezing her eyes shut tight. the taste is unpleasantly medicinal, but that hardly matters. "how soon will it start working?"

the pain is IMMENSE, even compared to her wide range of experiences. rey has been in hundreds of battles -- been poked with a lightsaber, shot with a blaster. she has fought the worst of the dark side of the force, aliens from another dimension, gods and monsters most could only dream of.

yet none compare to the misery of HOURS spent in labor, waiting to deliver their daughter. it has been unending; it feels as if she has been in this bed for years.

while thor has tried his best to be helpful and supportive, rey cycles through adoring him and being very ANGRY at him, for putting her in this position. at the moment, he is on a quest to get her something to eat; they've all been here much LONGER than they ever expected.

"please," she begs, flopping back into the pillow behind her head with a large, overdramatic sigh. "you MUST distract me from my torment. tell me a story about thor or something, from when you were younger. before i go insane."

@victoriousfidelity