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ok i officially have A Lot of drafts so i'm going to start doing and scheduling those soon

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STAR WARS: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

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incorrect quotes ♡

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     rey holds thor's hand tightly in hers as they walk. she doesn't try for a reassuring smile; she can sense leia's words haven't helped ease thor's mood at all. still, the pride that fills her as her husband speaks is undeniable. they have built a COMMUNITY here on hyperkarn. people from across the galaxy have trusted them to build their homes on this planet. force sensitives have begun gathering, knowing there is no need for them to be alone. whatever will happen next doesn't take away from these accomplishments. rey won't allow it to. the work must continue -- there is still so much to be done.

she slows to a stop, then, looking up at thor to meet his eyes. he looks so sad, it tightens her throat. rey reaches out with her free hand to hold both of his. without looking away from him, she gently adds, "we have a lot of plans to complete. at the school, and in town... and here at home. we're not quite ready to welcome a BABY just yet." but they will be. she silently promises thor this, tenderly stroking her thumbs across his knuckles. we will. this will all be a passing memory, she's sure of it. rey holds onto that thought as if it is a lifeline.

"i think it's wonderful," she hears leia say lightly from behind her. "you've done well here. and things will continue to improve." just as rey feels thor's MISERY, she wonders if he can feel her determination. the promise of their future together -- their family -- has kept her going when all seemed hopeless before, and it will again. rey hopes thor knows she will do whatever it takes to make the reality they dream of on hyperkarn come to fruition.

rey shifts to stand closer to thor, wrapping her arms around his waist. leaning on him provides a moment's relief -- the walk and calling on leia has left her tired again. as soon as she turns, she sees leia look upon them both with sympathy again. after a moment, she speaks. "one thing i can tell you: don't HESITATE." her eyes are intent on rey, as if there is a hidden meaning she should glean from these words. "when the time comes, you'll know what to do. do it quickly. work together. believe in each other like i believe in you."

rey’s voice fades, and he knows leia’s answer before her mouth opens to speak it.  thor exhales — in pain, in exasperation, to steady himself all at once — and looks up into & away from them both.  nothing.  there is nothing to be done.  there is no stopping whatever is coming for them.  no one thor is willing to put in harm’s way; no one to help.

part of him had known that.  stubbornly, the other part had hoped.  he didn’t want to be right about this.

clinging to rey, he tries to take the advice to heart.  you must not be afraid is far easier said than done.  the unknown is frightening — the nightmares, the visions, the state of rey’s health… it’s all frightening.  how are they meant to remain calm in the face of adversities when they don’t know what the scale of them will be?

he doesn’t immediately move to follow leia.  he stays with rey a few seconds longer, savoring the press of their bodies.  another breath leaves him when he begins to follow leia’s lead.  it is a means to distract them; he can easily tell when someone wishes not to dwell on whatever tragedy has occurred (or, in this case, is about to).

“we…”  he starts, clearing his throat to combat how his voice wavers, “we have built homes.  the village, at the bottom of the hill.  they are filling faster than we’d expected.  once word had spread that… rey… wanted this to be a haven for anyone seeking community, especially her wish to train children attuned to the force… well, they were all eager to start new lives here.”

“uh —— the city is far from finished.”  pulling rey along, one hand entwined with hers, the other points to the distance beyond their home.  “there is always a new addition to begin work on.  and we have plans to begin expanding, to… make room for more migrants.  and our house,” his steps slow, and he trains his eyes pointedly on rey, “we’ve… begun working on the room that we intend to be for our child.”  but it isn’t with joy that he says it; it isn’t with happiness that he feels his eyes prick.  thor is pained at the thought that that dream may not come true.

[lightsiided]

     "just some fruit," she murmurs, eyes trained on the navigation screen. there wasn't MUCH in the kitchen at thor's. and rey hasn't exactly had an appetite, lately -- especially after their conversation yesterday. even now, she feels sick to her stomach, as if she is the one who drank too much. she pulls up on the controls and engages the autopilot, watching the map in silence for a moment. all is as it should be. if she closes her eyes, rey can almost convince herself they're on another mission for leia, back when everything was new and exciting and wonderful.

ALMOST.

rey purses her lips. she doesn't want to have a drink. how can thor even suggest such a thing? she'd said how important the trip is, but maybe he doesn't remember. maybe he doesn't care. she exhales, nodding slowly. "that's right."

it is a good reminder to remain focused. what's happening is much bigger than the problems that have infiltrated her romantic life. people are counting on her. "i guess i don't want to believe it's true, but... YES. knowing the first order, of course they'd be planning something like that. i always knew it was only a matter of time before they'd try to move beyond star destroyers."

briefly, she shuts her eyes. it's all too much to think about -- what a weapon that rivals or SURPASSES the death star could do. this whole war has been like treading water. they can't afford for something like that to come to fruition. she leans her cheek onto thor's hand where it touches the back of her neck. then she looks back at him, the knots in her stomach unwinding. caf. he only meant they would have a drink of caf. of course.

rey nods, then stands from the pilot's seat. "that sounds nice," she says genuinely. "thank you." she stretches, rolling tension from her neck. she hasn't been sleeping well, but he must know that. her hand skims over his arm as they turn towards the hallway. "i wish i had more information for you. i've never been to coruscant, and i have NO IDEA who this contact is or what they look like."

“not yet.”  thor settles into the co-pilot’s seat, buckling himself in.  there hadn’t been time — he hadn’t even thought of it.  a little extra energy would be a nice boost to the day, though the fighting won’t ensue until tomorrow.  “after we’ve taken off, i’ll go take a look.  if the options are scarce, we can restock once we’ve landed.  did you, before i woke up?”

as best he can, he smiles reassuringly at her while she works to get them off the ground.  new asgard slowly disappears from view, until they’re surrounded by only an expanse of blue sky, then black.  at rey’s behest — and her touch — his smile turns genuine.  thor complies, reaching forward to engage the hyperdrive.  it’s always his task.  just like old times, when they would sit within the falcon and talk for hours during flights.

he misses it.

as they begin to tear through space and time, the ship shakes around & beneath them, its engines roaring with effort.  it has been a while since he’s felt it.  hesitantly, he allows himself to sink into the familiarity as he once did.

“we could… have a drink together, and you can tell me all about coruscant.”  looking over at her, he returns the gesture of reaching for her, his fingers brushing the back of her neck.  “if i remember correctly, a contact within the first order is going to meet us to pass along plans?  and you said — rumors have been swirling that they wish to build their own death star.  do you believe there’s any truth to that?”

lowering his hand, thor unbuckles himself; the flight is going smoothly, and this is always when he leaves the cockpit.  he does hope rey will join him for a cup of caf, a bite of food.  yesterday was hard, uncomfortable… but it was honest.  he finds he wants to be around her — not unlike most days, but his steps feel just a bit lighter, and his heart is in a better place.  maybe they can have a good day, now.

“i can make us caf while we discuss it.”

[lightsiided]

     thor's promise is so nice to hear. it's not that it's all that unique -- she knows her friends would say the same if she asked them to. but they don't say so, at least not unprompted. no one has promised to be by her side so PLAINLY. and that means much to her.

being a jedi is her destiny... but it has been more isolating than expected. no one quite seems to understand what it's like, trying to navigate what has been thrust upon her. only thor knows how it feels to carry such a weight. "thank you," she whispers. "honestly, your COMPANY is the greatest gift. feeling like you know what i'm going through... well, it's wonderful."

she sighs against his lips. her eyelids flutter; she tries to let herself relax against him. but talking about this has set her undeniably on edge. the truth is, rey can only barely remember what it FEELS LIKE to have her mind be entirely her own. maintaining the mental wall that keeps kylo locked away is exhausting and stressful. she is constantly on alert, vigilant against the dark side of the force. in a way, it's like trying to obtain a restful night's sleep on jakku. even now she forces herself to keep one ear pointed at the door, in case she must rise and FIGHT at a moment's notice.

now there is nothing. only quiet. she is safe in thor's arms. part of her is devastated that anything must change at all, even if she does want that change he speaks of. the return of leia, rose, chewie.

"i'm still ashamed," rey murmurs. "i can't help it. but thank you again... for not thinking it's so awful of me to feel this way." she lifts a hand to his hair to pet at the back of his head, welcoming thor's face in against her. his kiss elicits a happy-sounding hum; when he looks up at her, rey drops her gaze, too, to meet his eyes.

forcing herself to look for the GOOD in even the most terrible situations has been a coping mechanism for as long as she can remember. it's what leia would want her to do if she were here. "that might be true," she sighs, "but being positive is too important. it's necessary. or else... the bad things that happen can consume you. i mean, how do you think about anything else? these last few days, since i first felt that you were hurt --"

she pauses, pursing her lips. it's fine, rey reminds herself. thor is just fine. "-- it was almost IMPOSSIBLE not to worry myself to death. the only thing that helped was focusing on the thought that... maybe something good could come from all of this. that we would be together, so neither of us had to suffer alone."

migrating from her shoulder to tucking beneath her head, thor’s fingers rake through her hair, careful not to undo her braids, while his thumb strokes the corner of her mouth.  thor is respectfully quiet while she speaks, not daring to look away even while she does.  entirely, now, his smile falls.  she is carrying a lot — everyone is.  how is he supposed to take it from her and shoulder the burdern for her when his load is already so heavy?

“i know that… what it means to be a jedi is not within my expertise, but — i will help you.  in any way i can, until we get everyone back.  whatever you will need of me; training, research, even seeking moments for meditation… you’ll have me.  and it will only be temporary.  leia will be back before you know it to undo all my terrible wisdom.”

briefly, a hint of the smile returns.  thor matches the depth and hush of her voice.  everything between them, despite what they discuss, is so serene and comfortable.  this is exactly what he’d yearned for in the time they were apart; in between fighting, in between suffering.  peace and quiet with her is all he’d wanted to get back to.  it feels almost unbelievable to be in it, now, at last.

“it’s not lost on me that with thanos’s decision comes the elimination of many, many terrible people.  there’s nothing shameful about being relieved that one of them — who has personally caused you pain — is gone.  it’s normal to be happy to be free of him.”  they’re so close that, as he speaks, he feels his lip brush against rey’s.  he knows he doesn’t need to explain the wrongs of collective punishment, or that the power for such destruction should be in no one’s hands; just as many good & innocent people suffer as much as the bad.  rey knows that, and she doesn’t need to be chastized.

so, he only exhales, shifting to fit his head beneath her chin.  nuzzling her chest, he holds her as if with the intent to never let go.  tightly, protectively.  for but a moment, he stretches to place a kiss to her throat.

“there is no need to apologize.  you are entitled to feel how you feel.  there is no… right way to carry all the weight that has suddenly fallen on your shoulders.  that also means,” he peaks up at her, “if ever you find you simply can’t be positive about it… that is alright, too.  we are in an impossible situation.  you don’t need to endure it with a smile if you can’t muster one.”

[lightsiided]

     with every step the sensation worsens. the planet is steeped in pain, and rey can feel it poking at her insistently as they trudge down the path -- DEATH. many lives were lost here. jedi were tortured. their souls seem to scream at her from the dead grass, but their warnings are drowned out by the mocking taunts of the sith. they ring in her mind over and over again. if thor speaks to her, she can't hear him.

she can just barely see his golden head of hair through the fog. her view of the ruins is obscured, but rey focuses on thor's silhouette as best as she can, determined to shoulder on. it only works for a moment. then the voice returns. rey. REY.

rey stills, glancing to her left where the noise appears to come from. could it be they aren't alone here? without fully realizing it, she takes a step off the path, and then another, wandering into the gravesite. slowly, she comes to a stop in front of a tombstone, cocking her head to the side as she studies the engraving on it. lord darth bane.

hello, rey.

it is as if it senses her. carefully, her hand extends to brush her fingers across the top of it. how do you know my name? she wonders, staring fixedly down at the stone. her thumb catches on a sharp slice of rock. as a drop of blood wells in the cut created, the fog around her clears abruptly. a shiver slides down her spine -- there is the sudden sensation of someone STARING at her. then, even worse... the familiar feeling of a second presence in the back of her mind.

we've been waiting for you.

she gasps, gripping the headstone. rey's vision swims, a torrent of pain coursing through her. for a moment, she struggles to breathe. it all happens so QUICKLY, doubling her over with the effort it takes to try and fight it.

ultimately, her body relaxes. when she straightens, it's with an eerie sense of calm. then there is another voice -- calling the name of the jedi. the one whose body he BORROWS. he turns, to smirk at the approaching form, then glances down to admire the lightsaber in her hand, twirling the blade. in her voice, he answers: "rey's not here right now."

thor, likewise, moves to begin the journey through the valley — but as rey pauses, so does he.  concern immediately rises to the surface, makes itself known on his face.  but he says nothing yet; not until she does.  pressing his mouth into a line, thor exhales, forcibly smoothing his features to (he hopes) maintain a semblance of calm.

he doesn’t hear anything.  for now.  “pay it no mind.  don’t let it in.”  it isn’t lost on him he didn’t answer the question.

tilting his head toward the path ahead — "come, let us not be stalled" — his eyes are trained on rey as he takes those first few steps.  then, he shifts his focus beyond.  on either side of them, the points of the mountains reach for the sky, towering over them both.  it is so terribly quiet, save for the crunch of sand beneath their feet.  the further along they travel, the more pressing the eerie atmosphere seems to become.  even he is noticing, now, the heavy presence all around them.  it feels as though they have an aversion to his presence — the feeling is mutual.

thor looks behind him to check on rey once; when she is fine, he faces forward again.  usually, even the most taxing missions can be made fun.  they remain playful, they tell jokes, they speak in between combat and chaos.  that neither of them can muster that energy here speaks volumes.

he doesn’t know how many moments pass when he exhales, a fog beginning to roll in up ahead, obscuring the view of the temple.  he assumes it will pass, but his steps slow cautiously.  it is all too easy to get turned around.  he sighs.  “i cannot wait to be back on the falcon.”

neither can i.

“we will be before we know it.”  to his disappointment, as the seconds tick by, the fog only thickens.  a hand extends backward, reaching for her.  “hold on.  take my hand.  i don’t want us to get separated.”

when his hand remains empty, without even feeling the brush of her fingers, thor looks back again.  this time, he doesn’t see her — and his heart quickens in his chest.  “rey?”  no answer.  but she was just there.  “rey?  can you hear me?”

[lightsiided]

     at this revelation, she giggles, imagining the look on thor's face when his mother FORBADE him from speaking. it lends some credence to the legend, sure, but mostly it endears her, as childhood stories of thor's often do. rey can only wish she'd been given the opportunity to know him sooner, so that she might have loved him longer. "but you've never tried?" she asks, only curious. "to bestow a curse. i find that hard to believe, given your temper."

though her voice is playful -- merely teasing -- there is a bit of truth in the statement. thor can be reactive, sure, though rey supposes he isn't reckless with the power he wields. he knows of his responsibility and always walks with that weight balanced atop his shoulders. it is ADMIRABLE, how seriously he takes his duties; even now, that there are no catastrophes to fight. gently, she squeezes his shoulder. "bone chilling isn't usually how i'd describe a GREAT story."

"what?" surprised laughter bubbles up from her throat. rey has certainly never heard THAT tale before. "you can't just say something like that and then tell me you don't want to talk about it. i need to know every detail. how did it come to be? what was the reason? where did you get the dress, what did it look like?"

it delights her that even after so much time together, there are new things for her to learn about him. thor is a wealth of stories and information -- he seems to always have something to SHARE about the universe and its mysteries, or even his childhood on asgard. in a way, it's as if she never lost the magic of the very first night they spent together, chatting late into the night, greedy for details.

it's as if she carries that magic with her ALWAYS.

"from the stories you tell, it seems like you were both a handful," rey muses. "but i can imagine your brother edged you out just a bit." there's never a DULL moment in a childhood filled with such illusions, she's sure. it only confirms she's right to feel sympathy for thor's poor mother. "still, i bet she would be happy to know you never grew out of your horrid older brother-ness. even if you take it all out on me when all i ever am is nice to you."

the easygoing conversation is a welcome distraction from what awaits them. rey can feel it getting closer and closer -- the site of her parents' graves. she sighs, resting her chin against thor's shoulder for a moment as a sudden tiredness sweeps through her. perhaps it is strange to feel AFRAID of closing this chapter of her life... but she is. "i'd like to walk for a bit," she says quietly. "we're nearby, and it will help me guide us."

“no.  by the time we’d learned all of this, he had already passed.  but it is an unspoken rule amongst asgardians that we don’t talk about it, and we must never say their name.  when we are on midgard again, you should ask one of them — and watch for their reaction.  such fear that the mere mention of the tale can invoke… i have always felt inclined to believe it.”

“moreover…”  here, he sighs, wincing.  “loki and i had intended to test the validity of the story by calling on them.  mother had overheard us.  before we could speak the name, her seidr held our mouths closed.  i had never seen her so panicked — or angry with us.”  to this day, he can just recall the wild in her widened eyes, how she had rushed over to them, how her scolding voice pierced through the air.  if there was even the slightest possibility it was only a fiction… would she have reacted so strongly?

thor hums as he ponders her next question.  “i suppose so.  if a god can give a blessing, or enchantment,” as he has with mjolnir, with jane, the asgardian children, and now rey, “it stands to reason they can do the opposite.”  while he contemplates it — he hasn’t the first idea how he would place a curse upon anyone, but perhaps it’s only a matter of strengthening his own seidr, as frigga had taught loki — rey speaks again; his train of thought is disrupted as he breaks into another laugh.

“it is not terrible!  it’s a great story.  bone chilling.  you get either that, or something heroic and grand.  i have no embarrassing stories.  not one.  have never felt embarrassed in my life.”  after a few moments, with the only sound being his feet pushing through the sand and everything they carry clanking together, he sighs again.  dramatically, as if he’s been beaten down.  “alright, fine.  once… loki had concocted a scheme in which…” a groan, and then, quietly: “i had posed as a bride.  the gown, the veil, the make-up, all of it.  but i don’t want to talk about it.  it was absurd.”

truthfully, he has more embarrassing stories than he can count.  they exist in equal measure alongside his trials and triumphs, his wins and losses, his moments of learning and growth.  who likes to revisit those, though?  if he is going to do it with anyone… rey is certainly his first choice.

“my poor mother?”  he scoffs, and when he laughs this time, the sound is soft.  “we were a delight, most of the time.  or, at the very least, i was.  loki was certainly a handful.  among the worst days of my life was when they learned how to project duplicates of themselves.  by the gods, it was indescribably irritating.  imagine being surrounded by dozens if not hundreds of lokis.  it was an utter nightmare — never-ending, at that.”  poor thor, he thinks she meant to say.

[lightsiided]

     "the horses are very talented," she murmurs, still looking down at the figurine in her hand. after a beat, rey glances shyly up at him. "how did they know my favorite color is yellow?"

it's hard to look away from the gentle smile on his face. thor has certainly never looked at HER that way before, and it softens her opinion of him. the expression suits him. "you don't have to take it off," rey says quickly. "it will work as long as you don't. even against the more mundane things that wish to harm you."

just because he no longer fights in battle doesn't mean there isn't still an element of danger to his life. he is the prince, after all -- more protection can't hurt. she laughs lightly as he continues, then scrunches her nose. "unfortunately, that's not covered in any of my books. you may just have to remind yourself it's your duty as the prince. besides," her own smile is easy, wide, "everyone will want to hear about your TRIUMPHS. so you'll have plenty of opportunities to boast, which i know is your favorite thing to do... and something that comes quite naturally to you."

how playfully she TEASES him is in sharp contrast to the way they once argued -- cuttingly, intending to grate the other's nerves. to say she isn't happy to have him back in the kingdom again would be a lie. "there's already been lots of gossip about your travels. i'm sure the line of people looking to speak to you is long."

when thor laughs, his body leans back as if to give himself over to it.  the corners of his eyes crinkle, lines creasing in his cheeks.  if anyone ever pointed it out, he would deny it, but as he rocks forward to stand flat on his feet again, he is just about beaming at her.

“then consider it a gift from the horses.  i will tell them you admire their craftsmanship.”

standing here, smiling, speaking in jest… it is a far cry from even just a couple of months ago, when she would look at him with disdain and he would roll his eyes in irritation at her.  something, evidently, has shifted.

his eyes follow hers down, and one of his now empty hands lifts to touch the charmed pendant he wears around his neck.  “i… hadn’t thought to take it off, i suppose.”  when he lifts his eyes to perhaps meet hers again, the smile is soft.  despite the fact that he’s lying.  when he stripped himself of his armor — each time he’s changed his clothing, stepped in or out of a bath — he, of course, noticed it still dangling and purposely left it there.  why should he take it off?

“danger will come knocking again.  eventually, another battle will wage.  for now…”  he can’t help how his smile stretches further, as his gaze bounces around rey’s face, “diplomacy.  politics are usually a bore.  if you can make me something to protect me from the drone of royal duties, i say you get started as soon as possible.”

[lightsiided]

     "i only shoot at moving targets," she sighs. if someone is close enough to be STILL, rey's certainly using her lightsaber. a blaster is far from her weapon of choice. "i mean, it would be nice to HIT some of them, sometimes." there's no denying she's far more proficient in close range combat. when the targets are farther away, shooting at them isn't really her specialty. "i'm not all that useful in a fight if all i can do is swing my lightsaber at the people nearby, am i?" she does practice, of course, and has improved since han first handed over his blaster... but rey knows there's still room to get BETTER. "it seems like you could help me. and you don't even have to use any of your earth... guns. we can use blasters."

         bucky  exhales  ,  giving  a  small  shake  of  his  head  .   “  okay  ,  i'll  give  you  credit  for  shooting  at  a  moving  target  .  ”   he  knew  those  weren't  easy  to  hit  ,  even  with  years  of  experience  .   however  ,  the  former  winter  soldier  did  admire  her  tenacity  .   “  shooting  as  much  as  possible  ,  on  the  other  hand  ,  isn't  ideal  in  several  situations  .  ”   granted  ,  the  weapons  &&  blasters  weren't  exactly  powered  by  the  same  substances  ,  so  perhaps  there  was  something  to  be  said  for  reload  times  ,  or  even  necessity  .   bucky  wasn't  going  to  get  into  the  differences  in  the  weapons  ,  or  even  the  guns  that  he  frequently  used  ,  but  he  gently  bumps  his  arm  against  her  shoulder  .   “  you  have  the  right  idea ,  though  .   you  just  might  need  some  help  .  ”

[lightsiided]

     without trying to jostle thor too much, rey reaches for her canteen for a sip of water. the sun is particuarly strong, but thor doesn't COMPLAIN, even though rey can see sweat bead at his hairline. "are you sure you don't want me to walk?" she asks, holding out her canteen in case he'd like something to drink, too. "i really feel fine."

she can feel her eyebrows arch in surprise as he continues. it's certainly not the type of STORY she had been expecting. thor is right to characterize it as less lighthearted. whereas hers had been a funny anecdote, his is a cautionary tale -- a scary story she can imagine probably delighted and horrified him in his childhood in equal measures. "wow," rey hums, after a moment's consideration. what a terrible tale -- and what a tragedy. "is that true? did you ever ask your grandfather about it?"

the valkyrie have such an extensive history. it's no wonder thor found them fascinating. rey finds she has a new appreciation for all val has endured. "does that mean you can bestow curses, then? if something like that were to happen." it's hard to imagine. rey knows her husband is POWERFUL, but it's easy to forget just how powerful, especially in times of peace. they have cultivated a life where displays of force have been largely unnecessary. a large part of her hopes they never encounter anything terrible enough to make thor do such a thing.

"that's a terrible story," she says finally. "you don't have anything like what i shared? you've been alive much longer than i have. surely you've EMBARRASSED yourself a time or two, as prince of asgard." thor has told her of a time in his life he wasn't proud of -- of the arrogance of his youth. she knows he's had many former lovers, many battle conquests. there must be at least a few funny stories to be mined from that time. but the tale has served its purpose of distracting her, regardless, which she knows was thor's ultimate intention. smile gracing her lips as she looks down at the top of thor's head, rey continues, "were you always tormenting your poor mother that way? i know she had her hands full with you and loki."

“loki would say yes if they were here.”  a pleased smile just begins to bring an ache to his cheeks.  it is always a gift to hear her laugh.  the prettiest sound in the universe.  “i say… i am showing you affection.  i ‘bully’ you because i love you.”

obeying her instruction, thor turns in the direction he's steered in and continues walking steadily ahead.

"it isn't that i take issue with it," he counters, nudging his head into her as best he can.  "i like that other people recognize how beautiful you are.  so long as they are respectful about it — which most are — i don't mind at all.  if i did find it bothersome, though, of course i would be the only one to do so.  as your husband."

“well,” he continues after a brief quiet, “yours was much more lighthearted than mine.”  but it was his idea, he doesn’t intend to go back on it, now.  anyway — he likes talking to her.  about anything, everything, and nothing, still, after all this time.  telling stories has always been a way for them to bond; right now, that it’s a welcome distraction doesn’t take away from that.  “long ago — long, long ago, it is said that, before the legion brunnhilde would lead, there were valkyries that answered the call of my grandfather, bor.”

“their legend has been whispered through the generations.  a horrific tale, a warning.  the one story my parents never had any intention of telling us.  but you know how children are; that which you keep from them, they seek out.  it was other asgardian children who told us the legend.  a bit older.  so it goes: the valkyries had betrayed the throne, asgard, my grandfather.  they turned against not only bor, but nature itself.  they had begun feeding on the very gods they’d sworn allegiance to.”

“once found out, they were exiled from all realms.  they could exist only in the spaces between them, in spirit form.  because, in life, they had decided to feast on gods, my grandfather placed upon them a curse that made them abominable: cannibals.  they may only feed on gods likewise exiled from their homes.  more or less damning them to an eternity of insatiable hunger.”

“they are no longer known as valkyries.  valkyries are honorable, formidable warriors.  these are no such thing.  they have a different name, but… to speak it is to summon them.  and summoning them would unleash unstoppable carnage.  nothing in the known universe can destroy them.”  a pause, at last, thor’s eyes narrowing in consideration.  “i suppose i understand why my mother had been so upset upon learning we knew of it.  childlike curiosity and temptation…” 

[lightsiided]

next time something like this happens, you have to promise to tell me

* patching up wounds prompts | accepting

     rey's nose wrinkles. it seems like a bit of an overreaction -- she isn't even that BADLY injured. if it weren't for the fact that her injury is on her shoulder, perfectly positioned to be IMPOSSIBLE to rub bacta on herself, there would be no reason for seth to even know about it now.

"it's really not an issue," she insists. rey shifts away, rotating her shoulder. she winces as the bandage pulls uncomfortably across her skin. that will be DIFFICULT to manage in training. "it's not like i'll be bedridden. if we keep putting bacta on it it'll heal in no time and be fine."

the last thing she needs now is a lecture. there is too much to do -- too much at stake. injuries have always been part of the deal, anyway, even when she was young. she is accustomed to them, now. "so if you don't want to help me, just say that, and i'll find someone ELSE."

@givenpath

[lightsiided]

     "i understand." while rey bears no special ability that forces others away, she, too, has been alone for most of her life. she knows what it's like to feel SOLITUDE chip away at your spirit, day after day. to yearn for the closeness that companionship can bring only to be left wanting. to lay awake at night, desperate for a change, but powerless to bring one. perhaps there is an ability she has, less visible than khione's, that has made her this way. she certainly has no shortage of faults, at least in her own mind. "i know what that feels like, believe me. and i'm very glad you've found someone you can be yourself with."

like she has. one thing she knows for certain about loneliness is that it has an END. it has been chased away by her friends, by thor, by the community she's forged. when it returns, it is only in her darkest moments, quick to be extinguished by an extended hand that's always nearby, waiting to be squeezed.

"you will always be capable of much more than you think," rey smiles. "we're our WORST critics." it is a lesson thor has been trying to teach her for as long as she's known him. a lesson he has yet to learn; they are both SO HARD on themselves. they have yet to learn to shed the weight of others' expectations. khione seems to have eclipsed them in that regard. "it sounds to me like you know yourself quite well. that's an important gift."

she laughs, infected by the cheerfulness of the other woman. "it would be my pleasure to attend. let's both do our VERY BEST to avoid a gruesome death before then so we can see it come true." it is a delight to even think of weddings. for so long there was only the war. now everyone she talks to speaks excitedly of the future. and there are so many possibilities for all of them. that is what fills her mind, most days. all the ways she and thor will make each other so HAPPY. gently, she reaches up to brush khione's hair away from the bandage. "it'll be gone in a day or so. come find me tomorrow and i'll help change the dressing. a fresh round of bacta will make it like this never even happened. i've seen my share of these."

"likewise." it feels unfair, otherwise.

seeing the world, or, rather, the galaxy. that feels like a tall order with a heaping side of 'could be fun'; khione almost wants to ask rey to send her pictures of the places she'll go to.

(are intergalactic postcards a thing?)

traveling.

that's something the younger of the two always wanted to do, too. mother and father are always somewhere. on earth rather than in space - but if it was required of them, they'd go, khione is certain. even so, at this point, they only make it back to maxville for big end of the year parties. if that.

"there is something to be said about that, yes. i understand. believe me, i do. but i have been..." her easy-going smile dims a little. like a star losing some of it's light. "...i have been alone for the majority of my life. even when i was around others, i've been alone. mostly because of my, ah, inability to touch those without a---a resistance to the cold that i carry within or those without innate light, heat or fire powers." she stumbles here and there. not so much embarrassed as she's, well, there's being vulnerable and there's being vulnerable and somewhere within her, there is still that scared girl whose kiss caused injuries.

"i've learned, certainly. i've learned that i'm quite resilient. capable of more things than i thought i'd be. but i also learned that me telling people: oh, i'm perfectly all right with being alone was a front. i told people that i liked it that way. but i didn't. i don't think anyone does. well, anyone who isn't an einzelgänger. people need people."

khione beams at rey, then. "assuming neither of us die gruesomely before our time due to hero work or other such hazards," she says cheerfully, "i'll invite you to the wedding when the time comes!" a beat and then: "you're gonna have to do the finger-guns yourself, i'm afraid, 'cause i'm gonna be sitting on my hands for a while. so i don't scratch at the injury on my face, of course."

[lightsiided]

     "but how do you -- i mean, sometimes stormtroopers fly. so i'm usually shooting at a MOVING TARGET and i don't exactly... you know, i sort of just shoot as much as possible and hope i hit something. is that... not how you do it?"

@fragmcntdstars liked for a starter!

[lightsiided]

     rey sighs, trying not to fidget further as she watches thor put love to bed. with her hands empty, there's nothing to distract her; she feels the squirming of her stomach intensify.

it's clear by the way thor looks at her, once the baby is settled, that he knows what's on her mind. slowly, she makes her way over to the edge of the bed. rey can't help but to wonder if he's DISAPPOINTED she's dwelling on what's happened, still.

she sits beside him, hardly knowing what to say. fortunately, she doesn't have to come up with something right away -- thor takes care of that for her, too. rey spreads her fingers out over his chest, eyes trained on her palm. she can feel the beat of his heart beneath his skin, still warm and damp from the shower.

for a long few moments, she focuses only on breathing, matching the rise and fall of her chest to his. it DOESN'T help. not really. the look in his eyes is a stark reminder of what nearly happened -- he'd looked at her just like this, then. "i know," rey mumbles. her voice wavers around the words; no amount of clearing her throat is enough to dispel the lump that forms in the back of it. despite her best efforts, she can feel her eyes fill with tears.

"i know," she repeats, "i just --" mindful of the sleeping infant behind them, rey cuts off with a quiet sob. tears slide down either side of her face, though she lifts her free hand to quickly wipe them away. thor is RIGHT, after all. the threat is gone. his wish was made, and thor remains here with her. though it's not much of a comfort when she considers how close they came to the opposite outcome. "i just can't lose you," rey whispers. her eyes sweep greedily over his face until she leans in closer -- close enough their foreheads can touch.

"i don't know what i would do if... it was just really terrible. that's all." she can so easily recall the PANIC that had gripped her; it still lurks in the back of her mind. but rey tries to emphasize what thor has said: no one is coming to get him. there is no reason they should ever have to be apart again.

more than that... soon they'll be married. they will spend FOREVER at each other's side.

rey sniffs, rubbing her eyes. "i'll feel better after a hot shower." the words are said unconvincingly, but at least she'll be in bed with thor after it's over. it's that thought that encourages her enough to stand, though she remains close to him for another moment, reluctantly to pull her hands from his chest. it almost feels as though if she lets thor out of her sight, he will DISAPPEAR.

"i love you. i'll be right back." her feet feel leaden, but they move. rey drags herself across the small space that leads to the washroom, leaving the door open so she can hear of anything that might be amiss while she peels her clothes off. of course there's NOTHING, but that doesn't help much, either. though the force sends her no warnings, rey still worries something awful might happen at any moment.

she steps into the shower, letting the hot water soak her hair, her face. it washes her tears away and the dirt of the battle. the dried blood from the scratch thunderbolt had left behind goes down the drain with it, and she looks at the faint pink line that runs across her arm with disinterest. it feels like a lifetime ago that they begged the gods for help. for all the GOOD that had done.

she makes quick work of the soap and shampoo, eager to be in the same room with thor again. there is an audible exhale of relief when she stops in the bedroom, turning to the mirror to braid her hair.

he leaves them with a small smile, his now free hand petting at rey’s hair before he disappears from the bedroom.  the house around them is quiet — dark and still — as he reaches into the shower to turn the water on.  with a flash, he is freed of his armor, and thor steps beneath the hot, running water with a sigh.  a breath that feels held for too long.

beneath the stream, lathering soap along his skin and through his hair, he thinks nothing of the time that’s passing while he’s in there.  the day comes back to him in pieces; the shadow monsters, the abduction of the children, jane wielding mjolnir, the golden temple, the shadow realm.  moments he will hold close to his heart as long as memory will allow, and others he almost wishes he could forget.  there is a bittersweet ache in his chest.  he and rey are to be wed.  it’s the singular happiest thought he can imagine.  but she was almost taken from him today, and he from her.  jane is still dead.  telling her friends will be his responsibility…

it is a while before he finally cuts off the water and steps out to dry himself.  wrapping his towel around his waist, still-damp hair clings to his shoulders and back when he at last emerges from the steaming bathroom.  thor’s mouth is opening to speak, but rey stops him in his tracks.

his face stills.  he nods in compliance, reaching once again for love.  very carefully does he extract her from rey’s arms to hold her against his chest; in her state at the very edge of sleep, she stirs, her eyelids barely opening, but she doesn’t fully awake.  “alright,” thor says quietly, rubbing at the baby’s back as he carries her across the room.  to the bassinet that will now be hers.  “you can take a minute.”

rey looks worried.  it may not even be noticeable to anyone other than him, at a quick glance.  that she was smiling with him in the kitchen, dreaming of their future children just moments ago, it seems, makes the contrast all the more stark.  but thor focuses first on lulling the baby to sleep.  when her breathing has slowed, thor attempts a whispered, “are you asleep, little one?”

no recognition, no reaction at all.  love is asleep.  slowly, he lowers her into her bassinet, holding his breath as he unwinds from her.  when they are freed of one another, and she still doesn’t wake, thor turns to regard rey quietly.  pressing his lips together, he tightens his towel, sits at the edge of the bed.  farther away from where love sleeps, closer to the warmth of the bathroom.

“come.  sit.”  maintaining his hushed tone, thor holds a hand out to rey.  he pulls her down to sit beside him, first — then brings that hand to his chest.  “there, you can feel my heart beating beneath your palm.  does that help?”

the hand not holding hers falls to her back, offering the same, slow, circular rubs that had soothed love into unconsciousness.  featherlight is the trail of his fingertips, his gaze trained steadily on her face.

outside, she had said — she doesn’t want them to be apart.

“gorr is dead.”  quiet as his voice is, its firm.  not to scold, not to belittle; to convince.  to reaffirm.  “we watched him take his last breaths.  the wish… it has been granted.  it sleeps soundly just behind us.  nothing threatens our happiness now.  nothing is coming to pull us apart.  you… haven’t had a moment to process that, i suppose.  you can now.  it’s just the two of us.”

[lightsiided]

     rey nods slowly. he's RIGHT, she thinks. new asgard has given them much, but it isn't their home. not forever. "i know," she murmurs. "and i do want that -- to help the people in my galaxy that need it. i just... want to make sure we find something that makes us both happy. that fulfills... all of our hopes and dreams. even the ones that aren't shared." it is thor's future, too, after all. and with everything he's endured, he deserves to find what will bring him peace.

she huffs a laugh under her breath, leaning in to rub her cheek against his bare arm. "so we agree, then. we both want children that look like each other." straightening with a blink, her answer is reflexive -- "yes" -- even though rey isn't keen on letting thor out of her sight just yet. but what he proposes is otherwise impossible to achieve, and so she takes the baby into her arms, carefully positioning her against her chest. rey's breath catches as she sees how love looks at her, eyes half-lidded and little mouth yawning. it is so SWEET. she smoothes a hand over the baby's back, clearing her throat while she settles.

"alright. i can do that. go ahead." nodding towards the washroom, she waits for thor to depart, then takes a few slow steps around the room. love doesn't fuss -- she seems to be on the very edge of SLEEP -- and rey hopes to keep it that way. but it's not long after the water starts that rey begins to grow anxious. she can hear the shower and the water coming through the old pipes. more than that, she can feel thor's force signature just behind the door... yet rey can't help but to worry something terrible will happen anyway.

without being fully aware of where her feet are taking her, a few quick steps find her hovering just outside of the washroom, close enough that she feels the steam from the shower ESCAPE through the cracks in the door. rey shuts her eyes, trying to focus on drawing deep breaths. everything is fine, she reminds herself. thor is mere inches away.

yet it feels like an eternity that he is in the shower. as the minutes pass, love dozes on her chest, blissfully unaware, and rey does her best not to grow too worked up. her rational mind knows it's absurd to be upset, but the QUIET makes it hard to think of anything other than gorr and what's happened. it all starts to feel very overwhelming very quickly.

she's fidgeting on her feet when the water finally cuts off. teeth bite at her bottom lip, but she continues to rub love's back, keeping her comfortable so she can sleep. when the door opens, not even the sight of the most beautifully muscled torso she's ever seen is enough to calm her FULLY. "i'll come with you," rey suggests too quickly, sweeping her eyes over him. "to put her down. then i'll shower. i just need a minute."

the welcoming she speaks of is something he’s thought of, too.  it only reaffirms, in his mind, that new asgard is not the place where they’ll start a family and build their lives.  thor knows they will always have a place here, amongst the asgardians — but that indescribable belonging is not something he’s felt here.  and, he imagines, if rey had… it wouldn’t be something she has to imagine.  she would have felt it already.

“they’re always in my heart and on my mind.  you wouldn’t be taking me from them.  we can return whenever — as often as we like.  but a permanent residence?  i…”  he just doesn't see it.  he doesn’t feel it.  the thor who’d chosen here to relocate thought he was doing so as a king, with droves of his people still living, and his sibling & best friend at his side.  things change.  and, likewise, he wouldn’t want to pull her from her home.  has rey not made enough changes?

perhaps it is his turn.

“anyway… if you are going to help everyone who needs your guidance, we can’t do that from here.”  thor’s voice is resolute; he doesn’t know where exactly their home will be — they will know once they’ve found it — but he knows starting anew is what’s best for them.

“oh, please,” he drawls with a roll of his eyes, shake of his head, “don’t be absurd.  whether resembling you or i, we will be batting suitors away, regardless.”  bumping his hip gently into hers, thor then redirects his smile to the baby.  “as much as i like the thought of having a child this handsome—“  as if putting himself on display, he lifts his chin, gazing toward the ceiling before another chuckle brings him back down to earth, “—having a child that looks just like you would be… so, so lovely.”

love gulps down the last of her formula and promptly drops the bottle.  thor is still grasping it; so he turns, places it atop the counter just next to the sink, and wraps that arm around her.  nodding toward the room again, he makes his way out of the light of the kitchen.

“will you hold her again?  i would like to take a shower — try to wash off…”  all of the dread of the day.  “i would ask you to join me, but — that would mean leaving her alone.  what do you say?”  rocking love, he turns around to face rey, nudges her lightly in her direction.  “do you want to go back to rey?  she’s nice, isn’t she?  and pretty, too.”  looking between the both of them, love eventually reaches her little arms out for rey, and thor passes her over slowly.

“assuming she is still awake when i’ve come back out, i’ll take her for you, try to put her down for bed, if you want to go in next.  there is more we should talk about — more i would like to talk to you about.  preferably in our bed.”

[lightsiided]

     "hey!" it's hard to be TOO indignant through her laughter, which is raucous, but she does try. thor is just so charming -- even mocking her, she finds him incredibly endearing. "i did not say that. but you know what? it is true. i do find it tiresome." her hand squeezes his shoulder as she giggles into thor's ear. moreover: "were you always such a terror? i feel like i'm being subjected to some prime bullying older brother behavior today."

rey knows he's being so playful to keep the mood of their visit light. returning to jakku is understandably weighty, for her, so thor's desire to see her smiling is appreciated. it is just his way -- every move he makes is done so to care for her, somehow. beyond that, thor always appears as if it is EFFORTLESS -- what he would do anyway, if she weren't in need of care. he never makes her feel as if her moods are a burden to him, and so rey knows anything she could say about what might be bothering her is always safe with thor.

she looks out over the desert, humming noncommittally under her breath. "you're the only one who takes such an issue with it," rey murmurs. then, she pulls lightly on his right bicep, extending her hand to point in another direction, a few degrees east of where they walk. "we need to go that way." there is no knowing how or why -- she just does. it's as if rey is following an invisible thread.

"anyway, i don't confront them more often because i don't HAVE TO. it's not as if you're looking back at them." that would be more than mildly upsetting, but thor only ever has eyes for her. flushing, even though he can't see the expression on her face, rey's quick to change the subject. "you said you would tell me a story in exchange for one of mine. that makes it your turn, now."

“i do recall,” he answers, only the slightest hint of a delighted reminiscence in his voice.  thor remembers those early days well.  so new, and exciting, and innocent.  “you make a fair point, i suppose.  i am just saying, had you wanted nothing to do with me, i cannot say with absolute certainty i wouldn’t have badgered you with questions anyway.”  though, not for the same reasons she describes.  thor has never cared for her status.  he always wanted to know her.

there’s a faux yelp of pain as she tugs his hair, and he lightly jerks his head away in an attempt to escape.  he can’t exactly swat her hand away.  “stop that, don’t be mean.  i never forced you into idiocy, you chose that all on your own.”

oh, norns, how he loves her so.

“woe is me,” he starts again after a moment, purposely dragging his feet through the sand.  thor’s voice raises (although it can’t go very high) in pitch to proceed in his mocking.  “no one understands how hard and tiresome it is, having my beauty so rarely appreciated.  people almost always overlook my perfect hair, and my big, beautiful dark eyes, and my dazzling smile.  ah!  the force has forsaken me.  or,” his voice and pace return to normal now, “you simply don’t notice how often people take a liking to you.  not everyone is as obvious as your ocean prince.”

flexing his hands, he squeezes her legs where he holds them as both a sign of teasing and affectionate.  thor hoists her a bit higher up, turns his head so he might be able to look at her.

“has anyone told you you’re competitive?  we were not talking about me, we were talking about you and your admirers.  i find it hard to believe people look at me in that way as often as you say.  would you not find yourself in the middle of many more confrontations if that were true?”