#i gotta retract my statement in the post to be fair - actually‚ we CAN blame heaven for the most part | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

topaziraphale · 1 year ago

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dear god my last post is NOT getting the reception I thought it would butttt maybe that's on me I guess I didnt clarify a few things. and I messed up at the very end. oops. I'd be replying already if I didnt feel like I got run over by a truck for pulling an all nighter and then not napping🧍‍♂️

#nooooooo the point of my post was just to let crowley change his behavior due to the circumstances not to #demonize aziraphale and play Trauma Olympics and compare his experience to crowley's #they both went through a completely different kind of pain it's literally so not fucking fair to compare that #idk how to make it clear that they BOTH went through DIFFERENT traumatic experiences that has caused lasting psychological damage #to the point that it has completely warped and distorted how they view/treat themselves #let alone how they'll allow themselves to feel for each OTHER #trying to leave a cult that has damaged you to this extent is already difficult enough - but aziraphale found the #strength to do it #what DIDN'T he get that's so crucial afterward?#security #what's 4 years to 6 thousand?#he barely had a moment to breathe before heaven was intruding into his safe home he made for himself AGAIN #what was he supposed to just automatically heal? was he supposed to just not go through the withdrawl of #leaving the group that had convinced him that he was only safe and truly good with THEM?#i gotta retract my statement in the post to be fair - actually‚ we CAN blame heaven for the most part #they preyed on aziraphale's moment of vulnerability and he got sucked RIGHT back in. full relapse.#withdrawl from leaving a cult has been shown to be eerily similar to substance use withdrawl #''TELL ME YOU SAID NO... Aziraphale... We're better than that‚ YOU'RE better than THAT!''#literally the exact words you say to someone who has just succumbed to a relapse bro.#aziraphale is regressing. gah.#i'll add more to the post tomorrow probably #inb4 someone goes ''noooo you're excusing aziraphale treating crowley like shit!!''#dear god no i am not. i am EXPLAINING WHY he does it and why he has been conditioned to believe that that behavior is okay #i literally WANT crowley to be upset with him i made that so goddamn clear fkdkdjskfkskfk #alright night night i'll be back later #derpy speaks #not queued #might delete later

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