#but this idea was going to take a while and i really wanted to finish it
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undone lace | s.r.
A/N: user reidrum back with another softdom and munch!spencer fic but with insecure reader this time please act surprised
summary: in which you buy lingerie to impress spencer
cw: smut 18+ minors dni, afab!reader, reader wears lingerie, pet names, praise kink, slight breeding kink if you squint hard, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, insecure!reader, munch!spencer, softdom!spencer
wc: 2.3k
You’re standing in the middle of the bedroom fiddling with the garter straps hanging on your upper thighs when you hear the lock click followed by the front door opening.
Fuck.
You have to admit, it really did seem like a good idea when you were at the store.
The clerk in the lingerie store saw you staring for just a second too long before pouncing on you, feeding you off anecdotes that embarrassingly enough sent you home with a tiny pink bag not even ten minutes later.
But now that’s left you standing in the middle of your bedroom, dressed up in a way you know Spencer hasn’t been privy to seeing you in yet. And the anxiety of seeing his reaction is quite literally eating you alive.
Spencer calls out for you letting you know he’s home early, something about finishing his reports early. You’re not entirely sure, all you can focus on is your eyes widening as you take a paralytic stance, unmoving even when you hear his footsteps inch closer to the door.
“Hey, I knew you were home, probably didn’t hear me come in,” he says opening the door, “Did you want to get Thai food for—“
The rest of the words don’t make it out. And that’s when Spencer finally looks up at you, and he really gets a good look at you.
His eyes slowly rake down your figure and you can’t help but feel a bit like a spectacle, awaiting the rousing approval and applause from the audience with bated breath. He doesn’t speak for another minute, and it makes you squirm in your skin even more.
“This is stupid,” you mutter, “I’m gonna go change—“
Spencer doesn’t even let you move an inch before jumping into action, reaching out to grab your hand and pull you into his chest. “Don’t change.” he whispers hoarsely, eyes wandering and taking in all of you.
The self doubt within you only rises as you meekly say, “D—Do you like it?”
His eyes snap to yours finally, “Do I like it?” his hands take purchase on your hips, thumbs hooking onto the garter strap connecting the fabric on your midriff to your panties and pulling you closer, “Sweetheart…did you think I wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know,” you mumble, “I was nervous about this all day, wasn’t sure if it was too much.”
“You could never be too much. “ He blinks at you while his voice comes out strained, “Nervous? W—Why would you be nervous?” his hands smooth over your skin in all the places that needed placating, a soothing reminder that you could calm down, that you were safe.
You shrug slightly, “Didn’t know if I liked myself in it…and then I didn’t know if…you would like me in it.” you deflate a little more, “It’s stupid I know, I’m sorry I’m just gonna go chan—“
Spencer shakes his head mindlessly, his hands gripping your hips harder on instinct, “Oh, baby,” his voice strained and coming out as a mumble, “I am not doing a good job showing you how beautiful you are,” his hands slowly turn you around and pull you back into him so your back is flush with his chest, leaning down to your ear to whisper, “We should fix that, shouldn’t we?”
A shiver runs down your spine as you straighten your back against him, his hands inching dangerously lower and lower. “Can I do that? Let me make it up to you?”
The words are knocked out of you and all you can manage is a small nod, “You don’t have to.”
“No, actually I think I need to,” his hands ghost the lace frill edges of your panties, “Went through all this trouble…for me?” The length of his finger presses firmly to your entrance, you let out a soft gasp when he gently rubs, “Think you deserve a reward, sweet girl.”
Your eyes flutter shut as his hands move to cup your lace covered breasts, thumbs intentionally rubbing over your nipples and letting them harden under his touch. Spencer guides you to the edge of the bed as the warmth of his breath ghosts the crook of your neck, gently pressing kisses that trail up to your ear. You let him sit you down and watch with wide eyes as he sinks to his knees before you.
His hands part your legs open, bending his head down to press chaste kisses up your inner thigh stopping at the apex before repeating his motions to the other side.
“You okay?” he glances up at you, “I can stop if you want.”
“‘No! No, I’m okay I just…”
He presses another kiss just shy of where you need him, “Just what, baby?”
A soft whimper escapes you, “…Didn’t think this would work”
Spencer pauses and looks at you confused, letting his mouth wander back up to your face, “You thought,” Kiss. “Seeing my insanely hot and sexy and intelligent girlfriend,” Kiss. “All dressed up in lingerie,” Kiss. “Just for me,” Kiss. Kiss. “Wouldn’t work?”
You knew it would work. Of course, it worked. You knew that, he knew that. It’s why you planned to do this in the first place, because you wanted to do something nice for him. And if doing something nice for Spencer came at the cost of your confidence, you would gladly make the fruitless trade.
It made you feel silly, to be frank. Spencer never, ever, gave you a reason to feel insecure about yourself. In fact he made every humane effort possible to always remind you of how highly he thought of you. Yet here you were, with the audacity to self efface in front of the human embodiment of unconditional love.
“Angel…” he murmurs into your neck, bringing you back to the moment, “Where’d you go?”
It was just easier to let Spencer believe the fallacy of your plan than admit that despite his earnest efforts you, unfortunately, were incapable of receiving his love and affection.
You clear your throat to remove any tremors before you speak, “ ‘m okay, promise.”
Spencer was unconvinced, “You’re in your head again…” his thumbs kneed the flesh of your thighs as he kisses down your shoulder, “I’m really slacking, huh baby?”
“Spence—“
He shushes you gently, “It’s okay, baby. I know. I’m gonna make up for it.” he rises to his full height, standing in between your legs before working on the buttons of his shirt. His thumb and pointer pinch your chin and angle your face upwards, “Will you go sit pretty and lay down on the bed for me?”
You nod wordlessly and scoot backwards until you’re able to lie down and rest your head on the satin pillowcase. The mattress dips near your feet and you watch Spencer crawl back over you in only his boxers, his eyes raking over your outstretched body beneath him.
“God, you are perfect.” he murmurs, holding the words close like a sacred prayer. He gingerly pushes the hair from your face to behind your ear and lowers himself to press a kiss to your lips. You watch his mouth kiss and trace the outline of your lace bralette, following the path of dips and curves before he resumes his journey further down.
His finger toys with the edge of your panties again, finally hooking below the fabric and pushing it to the side exposing you to the brisk air. Spencer swore he could never get sick of the sight of you glistening, knowing he was the one to get you like that. He prods at your entrance, collecting the arousal to spread all over you, grinning when he hears a breathless moan.
“Feels good?” he whispers, you nod quickly watching him continue, “Good, pretty girls deserve to feel good.”
You preen under the praise as his finger pushes past your entrance, setting an agonizingly slow pace. The drag of his finger is so deliberate you can feel the notch of his knuckle as it leaves you, and it drives you insane.
“Nmph—Spence…please,” you plead. What you’re pleading for, you’re not even sure. But Spencer clearly knew as he adds one more finger, the stretch opening you up in a way that ascends you that much closer to the heavens.
You lift your head slightly to watch Spencer and find that he’s not even looking at you. He’s entirely more enticed by watching his fingers enter and leave you so captivatingly, your slick coating and entrapping him willfully. He must feel your eyes on him because he finally looks up and meets your gaze. His fingers quicken their pace, watching your face contort with pleasure as he undoes you piece by piece with a delicacy he knows how to use on you only.
His lips kiss up your inner thigh again, this time reaching your center and attaching his lips. At this point you realize you’re a goner, left for nothing and everything as Spencer pushes through to bring you to your peak. The tandem effort of his mouth and fingers is hypnotizing, so much so that you’d call witchcraft with how easily he’s able to disarm you completely.
“You’re close, angel girl.” he mumbles as more of a statement than a question, since clearly he knew your body better than you. All you can do is pathetically moan as you’re left entirely to his mercy and ministrations. The peak builds in your stomach, coiling and building tension while barreling towards that sweet release before he removes his presence from between your legs wholly, leaving you a panting mess above him.
“Spencer!” you whine loudly, “Wh—why’d you stop?” you breath out desperately.
He sits up and back onto his legs while he maneuvers his boxers off, “I told you pretty girls deserve to feel good, right?”
“Yeah well, this pretty girl doesn’t feel very good right now.” you tut.
He softly chuckles, moving closer while giving himself a few pumps, “I know,” he hooks his fingers onto your thigh garter straps and pulls you closer to him so his center is only mere centimeters from yours, “But, you deserve to feel the best.”
“So this pretty girl,” he rubs the tip of himself on your clit through the lace of your panties, “gets to come on my cock.”
You barely have time to be shocked by his crude words before he’s hooking your panties to the side again and slowly pushing himself inside you. A languished cry leaves you as you’re feeling him deep inside, reaching places only he knew about.
You’re reduced to blabbering syllables and cries of his name at the expense of his unrelenting pace, meeting his eyes and gaping at his smugly satisfied grin. He plays with the lace bow situated in the valley of your breasts before moving his hands to lift your legs and placing them on his shoulder, deepening his angle within you.
“I’d stay here for hours, for days, if you let me, sweet girl. If you asked for it, I’d give you everything.”
Your eyes nearly roll back feeling yourself enter another dimension with the combination of his words and the way he’s absolutely fucking you dumb. Another soft whine bubbles out of your throat, “Fuck—Spe—Aahh—.”
He coos softly, “I know, honey. Gonna get you there, promise.” he continues his thrusts unceremoniously, adding a thumb to your clit to push just over the edge hurling towards your climax. It hits you like a bucket of cold water dumped on you, a shivering chill reverberating up and down your spine while simultaneously setting your nerve endings aflame.
It’s overwhelming, it’s everything, it’s him.
Spencer isn’t trailing too far behind you with only a few more thrusts before he’s spilling into you with a low groan. He buries his head into the crook of your neck as he lets the last of himself pour into you before gingerly slipping out and placing your panty back in its holding place. He collapses at your side, the only sound left in the air is your alternating heavy pants.
“Guess I can’t return this now.” you lightly chuckle after a few minutes.
“You were going to return it?” he rolls over to drape an arm over your torso, “Did I not prove my point?”
He did. Very well.
“Y—You did, I just…still remember how I didn’t feel great in it before you came home.” you blush sheepishly.
Spencer sighs and pulls your body to rest in the you shaped crevice in the side of his body, hand smoothing up and down your back while the other rests on your thigh he’s hooked over his hips. “I’m so proud of you, you know that?”
“I didn’t do anything, in fact—“
“No, sweet girl. I am proud of you, because I know how hard it must have been for you to go out of your comfort zone for me. You shouldn’t feel obligated to do things like that, you know I’ll always love you until the end of time,” he moves his hand to cup your cheek, “But, I feel so grateful that you want to venture out for someone like me. I just want you to know that every and any effort, no matter how big or small, is always deeply appreciated and I am lucky to be the recipient every time.”
Tears well up in your eyes. For as much as you felt vulnerable and bared your heart to Spencer, there he was with open arms and a basket to cradle it from danger. Even if you couldn’t feel safe in your own mind, you could trust that Spencer would find a way to keep you from harm, even if it was self made.
“Thank you.” you whisper softly.
He presses a long kiss to your forehead, “Loving you is my favorite thing to do in this world, no need to thank me.”
You smile into his chest, voice all giddy, “Really? I thought reading untranslated and original classics had me beat there.”
“It’s a close second, pretty girl.” he nuzzles you closer to him and sighs in content.
It isn’t that close at all, Spencer thinks.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x fanfiction
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『 Faking it 』
☼ synopsis: you fake an orgasm and they notice so they punish you
☼ characters: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro
☼ wc: 1.0k
☼ cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, creampie, thigh riding, hair pulling, mentions of fingering and masturbation/toys, degradation (reader being called "bitch", "pet"), pet names, mean!Toji
☼ notes: once again I am daring you to comment and / or reblog to let me know your thoughts 🫶
ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Geto:
✧ You were just exhausted from the day and somehow your head was everywhere but in the moment, despite wanting nothing more than for your boyfriend to rail you like he was doing
✧ Geto had you on all fours before taking a fist full of hair to pull you up against his chest and you could feel his hips stutter
✧ Not wanting him to hold back you just faked it - giving it your best act
✧ He scoffed and pushed you into the mattress, your hips still high as your head got buried in the surface beneath you, but he pulled out right before he came, letting his seed shoot over the globes of your ass and lower back
✧ You pout at that “you promised to cum inside tonight,” you whined and heard him chuckle while shaking his head
✧ “Only good girls get filled with my cum - and you certainly aren't one,” he hissed before releasing your hair from his tight grip and you knew that he knew
✧ Before you were able to explain yourself to him he patted his thigh, his back resting against the headboard “If you still want to cum you gotta work for it,”
✧ You were pouting but yes, yes you wanted to release so badly, unsure why you even faked it but this was your punishment now
✧ You straddled one of his thighs, his hands having a death grip on your hips to rut you against his leg at his desired speed - slow and with barely any pressure, making sure to let you suffer
✧ “Go ahead, love, thank me for helping you,” He hummed, a playful smirk on his lips
✧ Without thinking much, you started thanking him for being so generous, for helping you to find pleasure. It made you feel so ashamed of faking it but that's exactly what he wanted
✧ “Keep up this slow pace, be a good girl and i might even slip a finger into your cunt,” He breathed against your ear, knowing how much you love to ride his fingers
ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Gojo:
✧ Gojo knew something felt off when your moans weren't the same, sounding rather fake so it came as no surprise when you faked it
✧ You don't even know why you did it, things just didn't feel as intense or like you're gonna release any time soon and hoped he wouldn't notice - bot oh he did notice
✧ He just continued as if he didn't know and finished a short while later but rolled off right away, a playful smile on his lips and that's when you knew that you're fucked
✧ “Have fun finishing yourself off then,” He hummed unbothered, that teasing smirk only getting bigger when he saw your mortified face
✧ “Didn't think i would notice, hm bunny?” He asked amused before turning to face you, his head propped up on one arm
✧ You felt like a deer in headlights under his mocking gaze along with his teasing and somehow you really hoped he would help you release
✧ But Gojo wouldn't be Gojo if he wouldn't be a menace, slender fingers dancing over your skin, always close but never touching the areas where you needed him so desperately
✧ “Is my cock not good enough anymore? Do you need your own little fingers now? Maybe even your adorable toy? yeah, i know of your little secrets,” He teases relentlessly, making you flustered but so turned on
✧ “Go ahead and touch yourself for me… let me see,” he giggled, wanting to guide your movements with his voice now
✧ He wouldn't touch you in order to help you, that was your little punishment
ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Toji:
✧ RIP to your little kitty
✧ Why you thought faking it is a good idea? Maybe because you know exactly how mad he gets after
✧ It hurts his ego more than anything that he can't satisfy you to the point where you see it necessary to fake it but you love how he reacts - so you do it anyways
✧ Tojis hips slow down in pace when your walls don't grip him like a vice as they usually do and with one swift movement he manhandled you into a mating press
✧ “Think I'm too dumb to notice, angel? Let me teach you a lesson,” he growls while he pushes your legs tightly against your chest, his cock now deeper than before which made you whimper
✧ “That's what I thought. Crying for me like a bitch in heat,” he continues to degrade you but this is a punishment, you're not getting it the way you want it
✧ His pace is now oh so slow, far too slow for your liking but you feel the tip of his length drag against your walls and brushing against all the right spots which made you lose your mind
✧ You were now stuck, folded in half between your lover and the mattress while he tortured you with slow thrusts, a mischievous grin painted on his face that screamed victory as his degrading words fell from his lips
✧ You were a mess by the time he was done with you, far too overstimulated and every drag of his cock along your walls borderline painful
✧ "Who knew my baby can only cum when degraded into nothing but a hole for me to fuck," he chuckled before pulling out so you won't get the satisfaction of being filled by him
✧ Toji came over your face just to degrade you some more “go clean yourself up. You're such a mess,” he ordered but waited for your return
✧ When you were back in his arms he hummed softly “did you learn your lesson now, angel?”
Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
#-ˋˏ ༻luma's musings#jjk x reader#jjk smut#gojo x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#gojo smut#geto smut#toji smut#Jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk Gojo#jjk toji#jjk geto#gojo satoru#geto suguru#Toji Fushiguro#💫hotter than the sun💫#dividers by adornedwithlight
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sisterly responsibilities pairing: reader x sistersfiancé!rafe synopsis: reader brings her sister home after a night out and meets her fiancé warnings: nothing really, just some less-than-pure thoughts - wc: 1k this is the third day of my birthday celebration! this is basically just an introduction to this reader that i have future fics planned for!! only two days until my birthday,,, wack!!
your sister was picture-perfect; almost out of law school with a job already aligned, a rich, hot fiancé, gorgeous townhouse paid by your parents as a present for getting into law school... not to mention how flawless she was, her closet filled with designer brands provided by her fiancé.
so, it took you by surprise when she called you at midnight on a friday evening while you were finishing up an essay; you two were the furthest thing from close and the last time she called you was a 15-second call to wish you a happy birthday, and if you knew what you'd end up having to do, you would've just ignored her call and let it go to voicemail.
your sister was currently asleep in the passenger seat of your car, her heels somewhere in the passenger seat where she'd drunkenly thrown them, her makeup smudged and her dress askew, jenny having mumbled something about being out with coworkers before she passed out. why she had called you to pick her up and not her fiancé was a complete mystery to you.
when you pulled up in front of her home, you tried shaking her awake, yet, just like when you were younger and her alarm clock blared through the walls, she didn't even stir. letting out a groan, you unbuckled your seatbelt, getting out of your car and making the short walk to her front door, ringing the doorbell, and when you didn't get an answer, you started knocking/borderline pounding on the door impatiently.
after a while, the door swung open, who you immediately recognized as rafe, jenny's fiancé. you'd never met him, but you'd seen plenty of pictures of him on her instagram, and even though even those made you question how the hell your sister managed to land a guy like that, they didn't do justice to the actual man; he hadn’t put on a shirt, a pair of sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, a slight outline of a bulge visible, the man wiping at his eyes.
you shook the filthy thoughts he'd caused out of your head when you realized he had opened his mouth, about to speak, cutting the man off before he could. "i'm jenny's sister." you explained, "she called me to pick her up, and she's currently passed out in my car." you said with a tight smile.
"oh. oh, shit." the man's eyes widened slightly, and he slipped a pair of slippers into his feet, and the two of you made your way back to your car, and the only thing that could be heard between the two of you was the gravel under your feet, both clearly not knowing how to deal with the situation.
you opened the passenger seat of your car, your lips pursed as you watched jenny's fiancé pick up the sleeping woman bridal-style, letting out a small sigh, "you wanna come in for a minute?" he asked, a similar tight-lipped smile on his face that was on yours. "there's some coffee left if you want."
chewing on your lower lip, you thought about his offer for a moment; you didn't really feel like being alone with your sister's fiancé; if he was anything like your sister, you'd rather spend an evening hanging out with a wall, but by the drooping of your eyes and the yawn you were trying to hold back, you could tell that driving in your current state wouldn't be a good idea.
"sure. coffee sounds good."
rafe led you inside, pointing out the kitchen, mumbling that he would take your sister to bed. you looked around as you made your way around the house and towards the kitchen, and you noticed one thing; it matched your sister's personality to a t.
it was a sleek, modern house, and you were sure that there wasn't a single dust bunny in the whole building. most of the furniture was black or white, and the only pictures were of her and her fiancé, or of her and your parents; almost as if she were an only child.
you poured yourself a cup of coffee as you looked around the kitchen, just as spotless as the rest of the house, but you were soon pulled out of your reverie by approaching footsteps, so you hid your lips behind the cup of coffee, taking a large gulp as you saw jenny's fiancé round the corner, his muscular chest now unfortunately covered.
"thanks for bringing her." he said with a nod, the tight-lipped smile still present on his lips.
"yeah, sure." you cleared your throat, lowering the cup. "can i ask you something?"
"go ahead."
"why didn't she just ask you to pick her up?" you asked, and by the dear-in-headlights look on his face, you could tell that rafe didn't want to talk about it, causing you to backtrack, "you don't have to tell me. i just don't get why she'd ask me."
"no, it's fine." rafe shook his head, clearly trying to find the right words, "we just had a fight earlier today, and she stormed out. i thought she'd go and stay over with one of her friends, or even your folks, but i guess not."
you nodded, drinking some of the coffee.
"what, you're not curious as to what we fought about?" he said, a bit of amusement evident in his voice.
"oh, no." you almost laughed, shaking your head, "the day i get curious about jenny's life is the day hell freezes over."
"i thought you two were close?"
"no, pretty much the opposite. this is the first time i've seen her in months ." you responded, finishing your cup of coffee and placing the empty cup onto the counter, almost desperate to get out of the situation, "thanks for the coffee, but i gotta get going. i have a deadline for an essay tomorrow."
"let me walk you out." rafe said, and before you could protest, his hand was on your lower back, causing shivers to run down your spine as he was leading you to the front door, and you were grateful that you'd decided to put on a sweatshirt so that he couldn't see the goosebumps that were now all over your arms.
but as soon as you two arrived at the door, rafe's hand left your back, and the butterflies that had started fluttering in your stomach disappeared just as fast. you opened the door before turning to him with a small smile on your face, "thanks for the coffee. take care."
"get home s-"
before rafe could even finish what he was saying, you were out of the door, pulling it closed behind you. you looked up at the star-dotted night sky, letting out a sigh of exasperation at the thoughts you'd had only moments before about a man you definitely shouldn't be having them about. "i'm out of my mind. i need to get laid."
#rafe cameron#🎂 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝟐𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey#outer banks rafe#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron fic#outer banks fic
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Cookies
Day 4: Paid time off.
Summary: Was it worth the pain?
•○●⛦●○•
Word Count: 844
Warnings: fluff, glass breaking and kis being terrified :(
A/n: nothing to say except i love hazel, az and kaden🥹😭
@azrielappreciationweek
ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
At any given moment, Azriel would say he loved the sound of his mate’s giggles. When she laughed, she made Azriel laugh. Not because she was laughing at something funny. She made him laugh just because. He laughed because he knew his wife was happy, and that made him happy. He felt content.
But not now.
Not as she giggled away at his misery while he stood behind the three little devils in his kitchen, cursing his own mind for coming up with this idea to spend his paid time off.
Rhys had always tried to get him to take some rest, going on and on about how working all the time was not good for Azriel’s health. His efforts had doubled since Y/n and Azriel got married, and with Y/n supporting Rhysand, Azriel occasionally agreed to take some holidays.
It had already been a week since Hazel had proclaimed that Azriel was her best friend, and since then Y/n had been telling him he needed to get a day off.
Azril had agreed at once, deciding a day with his lovely daughter and nephew would be amazing. It would be great for everyone. Rhysand and Feyre would have some time alone, Hazel would get to play with her friend and Azriel would be spending the day with people that mattered the most to him.
He had not accounted for Hazel inviting Kaden to the play date too.
Azriel had been disappointed when he found Kaden in his living room when he came down just after waking up, Nyx and Hazel giggling along with the boy.
Y/n had glared at him when she found him frowning at the oblivious child.
It was after lunch now as all five of them stood in the kitchen, the kids gathered around the big bowl of cookie batter, giggling to each other as they tried to sneakily add more chocolate chips.
Y/n laughed again, grabbing Azriel’s jaw and pulling him close to plant a quick kiss to his lips.
"He’s a kid, Az. Let him breathe."
Az grumbled, turning away. "Remind me of that when he inevitably grows up and tries to take your daughter."
Before Y/n could answer, the sound of Hazel’s whine reached the two.
"Nyxie, I want to hold the bowl!"
Azriel’s spymaster instincts kicked in when he saw Hazel yank the bowl from Nyx, her grip too small to hold onto the large bowl. No matter how quick Azriel was, his fingers only grazed the bowl’s sides before it crashed against the ground, shattering into pieces.
Just as it did, Hazel began sobbing, and Azriel stood there, torn between comforting his baby and cleaning up the mess.
To his surprise, Kaden grabbed Hazel’s hand and dragged her back and away from the glass, telling her to stay put when she tried to walk close to Azriel.
"You will get hurt, Hazel!" Kaden whispered loudly, hugging her.
"I want daddy." She whimpered, wiping her face on her sleeve.
Azriel glanced at Y/n who was sweeping away the glass shards, raising a brow at him. Azriel huffed, watching as his shadows cleaned up along with his wife.
"Kids, come on. Let’s make cookies again." Azriel called, bringing out another bowl just as the shadows finished cleaning, trying to stop them all from crying.
Hazel hurried over to his side, clinging to his legs while Nyx hugged Y/n. Azriel looked to Kaden who stood in the corner, eyes wide and filled with tears. It was very clear he was shaken himself, and unlike the other two kids, he did not have his parents to comfort him.
He was scared, yet he got Hazel away from harm’s way.
Grudgingly, Azriel kneeled, eyes locked on Kaden. When Kaden realised Azriel was looking at him, he sniffled and met his eyes. It was very clear that despite the amount of times Azriel had met the kid, he was still terrified of him.
Quietly, he extended his hand towards the trembling boy, beckoning him closer. Kaden seemed unsure as he walked to Azriel, but could Azriel really blame him when he had taken every chance to silently terrorize the child?
Azriel rubbed Kaden’s back as he sniffled, clearly scared by the loud breaking of the glass.
This paid time off was going very differently than what Azriel had hoped it would go like.
"Alright, let’s get to making these cookies now. They won’t make themselves."
The kids giggled in response, wiping their tears and getting back on the stools they had been standing on. Azriel ignored Y/n’s gaze, knowing she would only give him the smug look she loved to shoot him all the time.
Y/n still pranced close to drop a kiss to Azriel’s cheek before declaring she was going to go feed Nuts.
"Daddy, hurry up, I’m hungry."
Azriel sighed, shaking his head.
Maybe he didn’t need more paid days off than necessary.
He sure loved them, but he wasn’t sure if they were worth breaking his back over.
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
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((Maybe part of his punishment, sometimes Adam zones out, and his mind plays through everything that's happened to him and all the sins he's committed. But it only happens when he's alone. So Lucifer has no idea.
Just that extra angst.))
Lucifer watched as Adam went back to eating, but he could still see the cogs turning in his head.
Lucifer: ...Adam? It'll be okay. Don't overthink it.
Adam glances at Lucifer and stares at his face. He's smiling softly and looks concerned. Soon, Adam goes back to eating.
Adam: It has to be perfect for her. And you. I'll get up early and start on everything. I didn't clean today so it'll take bit longer tomorrow.
Lucifer: I'll help!
Adam: No! No- I can't do it. You relax, okay? Don't worry about it.
Adam smiles at Lucifer. But he can tell it's strained and desperate, almost begging for Lucifer to drop it.
Lucifer: ...alright. But if you need anything-
Adam: I'll ask.
Adam pats Lucifer's hand and goes back to eating.
Once they finished eating, Adam started on the dishes, while Lucifer called Charlie.
Charlie: Hey, dad!
Lucifer: Hey, hun! I was wondering- if you wanted to join Adam and I for dinner tomorrow! If you're free. Or want to- you don't have to, but I'd like it if you came over! And Adam would, to!
Charlie: Oh, sure! I'd love to. Hey, um... is Adam okay? Vaggie told me she went over there- which couldn't have been good. I was going to come over and see him yesterday- but Vaggie was really upset.
Lucifer: Yeah, I heard about that when I got home. We'll have a talk about that another time, okay? But- he's... fine. We went seed shopping so that took his mind off it, a little bit.
Charlie: A little bit? Did it affect him that much?
Lucifer: Yeah. He was pretty upset when I got home. But! That's a talk for another day. Tomorrow is just a small, family dinner-
Charlie: Adam's not family, dad...
Lucifer gripped his phone. He didn't want to get angry at his daughter, but that comment hit a nerve. He glanced over to Adam, who had just finished the dishes and is now scrubbing the bench.
Lucifer: I... yeah, y-youre right. Sorry, Charlie.
Charlie: It's okay, dad. I know this whole curse thing has really affected you. I know you wouldn't even tolerate him here if it wasn't because of that. But I'll have dinner with you two. What time?
Is that true? Would Lucifer want him here if he didn't have the punishment? He physically couldn't be away from him for too long. Would the real him want Adam? No, Lucifer wants Adam. He wants him here. He's had sex with him- Lucifer doesn't just have sex with anyone.
Charlie: Dad?
Lucifer: Hm? Oh! Sorry, Charlie- I was just... uh... how about 6pm?
Charlie: Sounds good, dad. I'll see you tomorrow.
Lucifer stared at his phone after they hung up. He thought Charlie liked Adam. They had a private session and everything! She supported him coming here, even defended him against the other residents.
Was she lying?
Was she faking?
Should they even do dinner tomorrow?
Should Lucifer take Adam back to his mansion and cut himself off, again-?
Adam: Lu? Is Charlie coming tomorrow?
Lucifer jumped, suddenly hearing Adam's voice. He quickly looked over to him. He looked worried, and maybe hopeful.
Lucifer: Y-Yeah- sorry! She'll be over at 6, Adam.
Lucifer notices when Adam looks disappointed, like he was hoping she wasn't going to come. Now, he just looked scared.
I'm coming up with some aus for you, but I need some meeting shenanigans.
I would love to know what bullshit Adam and Lucifer got up to during meetings.
Slowly healing their relationship, one meeting at a time 👀
Well I think the very first one they wouldn't even be alone together because of what happened. I think Adam would just silently glare at him.
Over time when Adam was feeling more confident to face the devil he'd go alone but by hologram, Sera's idea.
Making snide remarks, snappy comments, and being sassy.
And Lucifer would come back with his own and they would end up in banter for a while other than why they are really there.
As more time passes it's less hateful and more playful, maybe even takes on a flirty edge.
And I always see Lucifer being the one to make the first move after what happened in Eden. Adam has so many insecurities he wouldn't think that Lucifer would want him as more than maybe a friend.
Hit me with them bud 👀
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BREAKFAST
— spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
— summary: after a few weeks of intense work, spencer wanted to surprise her with breakfast in bed, but he discovered that sometimes coffee and bed don't make good pairs.
— c/w: i think none?
— w/c: 1.3k
— a/n: hello! another spencer one-shot! i hope you guys like it and let me know your thoughts! english is not my first language, so forgive me if there's any mistake!
The sun was just beginning to show timidly through the bedroom window when Spencer woke up, carefully removing the arm that had wrapped around him and placing it on his pillow. He turned over, his gaze resting on her sleeping face, observing the relaxed and finally peaceful features. For a moment, he stood there, almost hypnotized by that rare tranquility, something that, because of their work, was difficult and even more precious to see.
With a discreet smile, he decided to leave without waking her. He walked to the kitchen with light steps, where he began to prepare everything with precise, silent movements. She knew exactly what she was going to make: crispy toast, a touch of strawberry jam, and the strongest coffee, just the way she liked to start the day. From the fruit bowl, she chose a handful of grapes and an apple, her favorite fruit, thinking of cutting them up to make the perfect fruit salad.
While the coffee scented the kitchen, Spencer looked around, mentally assembling the tray. He wanted everything to have a touch of simplicity and intimacy, to show how much he paid attention to the little details - the way she appreciated pausing for another cup of coffee, the smile that appeared as she savored the first bite of toast. That morning, Spencer wanted every little gesture to be a reminder that she was always taken care of.
Spencer opened the cupboard, taking out the jar of jam and the slices of toast, feeling the pleasure of putting together every detail of the surprise. He knew it didn't have to be anything too elaborate, after all, she liked simple things that brought comfort and familiarity, but without losing the special touch.
He cut up some of the fresh fruit and, without resisting, took one of the grapes and tasted it. The sweet, fresh taste brought him a wave of tranquility; it was the kind of morning they rarely had. He placed everything on the tray with extreme care, adjusting each item almost as if he were preparing a work of art. As he concentrated on every detail, his thoughts wandered to anticipating the expressions he expected to see on her face when she woke up, that mixture of surprise and affection that warmed his heart every time.
The idea of surprising her with a morning like this, full of little details made with care and love, made Spencer smile, looking forward to the moment when he saw the smile appear on her lips.
He was just finishing arranging the tray when he remembered one detail. “Ah, the orange cake!” he smiled, opening the fridge door and finding the last slice. It was the cake they had made together a few days earlier on a quiet evening, laughing at Spencer's disastrous attempts at measuring the flour. He knew she would be happy to see that small gesture, a piece of that night shared in laughter and complicity.
With the tray carefully balanced in his hands, he entered the room with light steps, his gaze fixed on the image of her still tangled in the sheets. The room was quiet, the soft morning light beautifully illuminating her face, which was sleeping soundly, with such a peaceful expression that Spencer wondered for a moment if he was really going to do that, almost without the courage to interrupt.
He approached slowly, resting the tray on the bedside table, and leaned over, allowing himself a moment of pure admiration. Gently, he brushed his fingers across her shoulder, whispering softly, as if each word were a gentle invitation for her to wake up, and kissing her cheek quickly.
She opened her eyes slowly, blinking to get used to the light. When she saw Spencer standing there, with a shy smile and a carefully prepared tray beside him, her expression turned to surprise and tenderness. A sleepy smile appeared on her lips, and she stood up a little, her eyes shining in a way that made Spencer's heart beat faster.
“Good morning,” murmured Spencer, his voice warm with restrained affection. He could barely disguise his joy at seeing her reaction, as she now looked at every item on the tray with a look that mixed surprise and gratitude.
“You… did all this for me?” she asked, and Spencer nodded, the shy smile turning into a soft gleam in his eyes.
“I wanted to do something special,” he replied, as she picked up her coffee cup with an expression of pure happiness. “I know we haven't had a lot of free time these past few days, so I wanted our first free morning to be special, and I made you this coffee in bed.” It was a simple moment, but for Spencer, it was everything - he knew that in that smile and the sparkle in her eyes, there was a silent exchange of affection that made the morning even more perfect.
As they arranged themselves on the bed, trying to find a comfortable balance for the tray between them, Spencer leaned over to pick up the piece of cake, and she did the same, both laughing as they realized they had almost collided. In the midst of their relaxation, she moved abruptly, and Spencer saw the cup of coffee tilting too late.
The hot liquid ran down the tray and onto the sheet, and they froze for a second before bursting into laughter. Spencer tried to save one of the toasts, but the jam had already spread. She, laughing almost childishly, grabbed a napkin and tried to clean up the mess, but her clumsy efforts only made matters worse, which made them both laugh even harder.
“When you said you cooked breakfast in bed, I didn't imagine it would literally be in bed,” she said, with a mischievous grin, while Spencer looked in her direction, trying to keep a serious expression, but failing completely. Each laugh seemed to disarm him, leaving Spencer carefree and immersed in that lightness he rarely felt.
Unable to contain himself any longer, he let go of the toast and let himself fall beside his partner, laughing himself to tears. She lay down next to him, still laughing, the two of them completely ignoring the mess on the sheet, enjoying the moment as if nothing else mattered. Between giggles and complicit glances, Spencer felt that this unexpected chaos had been the perfect touch to a morning that had somehow become even more special.
Between giggles and small coffee stains on the sheet, they settled down again, now with what little was left of breakfast. Spencer held up a slice of cake with an amused expression, offering her a piece, which she accepted with a lazy smile, still savoring the joy of the moment.
They ate slowly, their movements slowed down by the tranquility of the moment. She reached out, running her fingers through Spencer's tousled hair, and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax under her gentle touch. It was rare to have a morning like this, with no rush or worry, just the two of them, together and present for each other.
“I could get used to this.” Spencer heard her murmur, her eyes shining as they met his. The smile on her face was warm, filled with gratitude that words couldn't fully express.
Spencer leaned in, running his hand over her face in a caressing gesture, his thumb gliding gently across her cheek. “Maybe we should do this more often.” he whispered, his voice low and laden with a tenderness he could rarely express.
They stayed there, exchanging light caresses and soft laughter, as if the world outside didn't exist. The cold coffee, the pieces of toast forgotten on the tray, and everything else was insignificant next to what they felt there together. For Spencer, that moment of tranquility and affection was exactly what they both needed - a silent reminder that, even in the little things, they could find deep and sincere happiness.
#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine
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Day 16 24: Silhouette
#i fell off the bandwagon i know#but this idea was going to take a while and i really wanted to finish it#feedist kinktober#es-draws
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Hmm... Akane witch design courtesy of Umineko brainrot anyone? 😳
#look at that tiny junepei sketch I think it's cute#I really want to make a full drawing of her? but you know needed to lay down the design like this first so I know it well before posing#and well wips I have to finish other wips first I have one of Santa and one of Clover taking me forever to finish#but they're turning out pretty slay it's gonna be worth it 😤#and haha what's that? a thousand other ideas I have no clue the order in which I'll work on hmmmm......#including like wanting to redesign my zwg redesigns#oh well qwq#silly doodle tag#also it's hard to tell with umineko witches but I feel like I overworked this one and there's too much going on? tried to bring aspects of#allll of her canon designs while giving her a hermit witch of the forest vibe as well it might have been too much?#hm what would she be the witch of I wonder#akane kurashiki#zero escape spoilers
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Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Harvey Dent#ZEX#Blood#Ask to tag#Stepping back even further - I'm sure you can understand needing a little extra time on this#For multiple reasons haha#It took such a while to finish the first one and not just on an editing front! Honestly that didn't take very long at all haha#There's a frame somewhere that's bothering me - I ''animated'' that movement frame-by-frame myself so if it's a bit strange it's my eye#At least it's mostly like what I wanted! Mostly like what I saw in my head! The three overlapping and then drawing back to show the depth#It really was such a strong mental image for me - it's amazing how simultaneous things can be despite being described separately#The dog - Harvey - ZEX - all moving at their own pace! A split second can be so expanded like a slow-mo shot ah#It's honestly a very beautiful medium#Hhhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I so very much wanted him to go out the way he wanted to#Befitting his Admiral status - strong and confident and surrounded by his crew#But by that point he was so tired and ready to rest - it would have been sadder to watch him continue to barely scrape by#Not even killed by his Beauty! Just one good chomp from one big sick dog :'0#The others trying to protect him - they didn't know him just out of whatever empathy they had for their fellow!#Zero was a hero so that kind of character is easy enough haha but even Harvey! Even after ZEX made him uncomfortable with his long looks lol#He was still willing to help in whatever way he was able ;; And it still ended the same#His last word being just ''pain'' hhhwehhh ;;#It is always the saddest-saddest to me to have such an articulate and eloquent witty verbose and silly character reduced to singulars#Something so simple and still so expressive hh </3 ZEX dearest hweh#But loving also means letting go! Death was a release he needed even if it's sad#I'm a real sucker for Meet Me In The Afterlife kind of stories so I may or may not have batted that around as an idea down the line#He has plenty of loved ones that have seen the other side - even from the Institute specifically!!#It's not exactly a happy ending but it's something <3
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the reason why i was offline for a day was bc i was in cas editing mattodore and messing with my cas bg, yeah, but also... i found another oc ask game that i liked the questions for so i started drafting theo and matthias's answers for them....... there's 100 questions this time so i've just been like this in google docs
#river dipping#when theo's doc inevitably ends up passing 5k.......... let's not mention it let's simply not mention it#i'm also in spotify playing the respective mattodore playlists while hopping between their answers#i think i've just been listening to their playlists and renaissance and amir and <copingmechanism> for the last month straight#my top tracks and artists of the month rn are definitely a testament to that.....#succession season four soundtrack “action that” is also on there tho <333333333 love you kendall roy <3333333#anyway i have no idea how long it's gonna take me to finish answering these questionnaires for the both of them#but i really enjoy doing this... i said before that i've reread their last 60 questions posts so much i've started to memorize them#and i can tell it's gonna be the same for these questionnaires when i finish them like i will be pouring over them like a man possessed#whenever i finish them (bc i AM planning to spend all of my free time on them after this) i'll share them with updated character pics#so i'll have to go in game for that. i'll need to update their character pages entirely honestly they've changed so much in the last month#like physically#well not matthias....... kjfdvnkdfgjh but theo looks SO... not different exactly but like... he's evolved.#also their last character page pics are ugly kjfkvjhnkjfgh no offense to past me for trying to be cute and edit differently but lmao.#i'll redo all of the echthroi character pics too so can't wait to have 500 new gshade screenshots of the eight ocs i have for it#jackson and everett are still missing in action but it's fine. Whatever. i don't even care 🙄#<- me trying to manipulate my brain using reverse psychology so that it finally pops out a solid image of what i want them to look like
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Anyway, I decided this academic year I will try to chill out and (most likely) not sign up for my master (i.e., I won't bother to run out of breath in an attempt to conclude my degree by the required deadline to sign up for my masters in a.y. 24-25). Will most likely spend this upcoming semester following a course so I don't have to do the work all by myself (+ get to actually interact and know the professor's teaching style) and consistently work on my thesis. Apart from that I will attempt to dedicate myself to music + fully get into this volunteering association I'm in (which might imply some trips around/abroad + lots of activities)
#decided I want more of a proper break from formal education I guess?#I pursue education because it excites me. I don't see the point of running behind it and do things improperly#plus I love my broader field (compsci) but I have no idea which direction to go in wrt my master courses so yeah#might be better off taking a breather while finishing one cycle of studies and then begin the new one with proper conviction#I don't really feel like a proper human and I need to dig deeper to see what's out there#also like#I will almost certainly keep doing some music teacher stuff this year so I will be getting some pocket money I guess#I believe in interdisciplinarity with my full heart#I just need to properly wrap my head around it#because it's not that much of a. how shall I say#actually implemented topic from what I've seen?#my post
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a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take
#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au#suffice to say that is not happening#it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas#that will not be happening for a while longer#I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out.#but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you#I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on#but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime#and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally#depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad#I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned.#put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better#hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad#anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued#I know I won't like it why is this so hard#heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted#a year ago really#not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily#but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour#does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other#that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3#(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai.#he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo#but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course!#*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter*#*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end*#war crimes look so good on them :3#miaing#heist au
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Sorry for the question, but are you still writing "Dodged a Beetle", "Copycat" and "Manynette High Sodium Edition"?
Ish, but not really. ML isn't apart of my focus rn, those fics are a once a blue moon I hop back onto those WIPs to work on them. Unless the Muse directs me one day to do ML stuff (which is usually fueled by me feeling salty for how ML is), the passion and interests to do ML fics just isn't really there.
As of now, the fics are more shelved projects I'll work on occasionally, but they just don't hold my interest at this time. To write for them right now is more of a chore and it feels like a dragging process to try and write for them when I'm not feeling it. As of now, it's more my original ideas that do spark off that passion and enjoyment. They're more fun to think about and write for. And much of what I write isn't being fueled by salt and irritation as most of my latest ML works have been.
So atm, I'm not writing for ML, but I am holding onto those ideas and I got others that I have saved and would like to do one day, they just have to wait until I can really get into writing for ML again.
#ask Punchie#ML fics#personal#if it helps one of these ideas will be posted to ao3 to read#as this idea is taking a chunk of the ideas I've had for ML and doing my own spin on the Miraculous concept#to really have the “kwamis” and “Miraculous” exist as I hoped/wanted them to#but that will take a while as there's still things I'm figuring out and going back and forth on#and very recently I FINALLY figured out how to start the first chapter#and this is something I don't want to start posting until it's practically finished#which I don't know when that will be#but yeah for now don't expect a lot of ML content from me#the interest is just not there
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i usually just post about reassassination and ultimate excalibur alongside less developed stories/universes but brother i have a LOT of stuff that i either hardly talk about or never talk about at all publicly ,,, mostly because they don't have any character designs done yet 💀
#like let me dump a few of the ideas that will probably never actually become real here:#1. story about two vampire hunter girls and one goes missing and the other has to go find her and fights various vampires along the way#(i actually did finish a few designs for this but scrapped it and now a lot of the plot aspects are in reassassination#such as a coven of 7 vampires based on the deadly sins - now the 7 assassins of the clear crucifix organisation in RAA)#2. darkstalkers-ish fighting game that i was really convinced i could make once i learned how to code -#- where the guardians of love and heartbreak fight to prove which love is real#there were multiple characters planned - puppy love which was like a cute girl with a big ass scary fuckin hellhound#sweetheart love who was a chocolate themed magical girl (her gimmick being that she could transform and her fighting style would change)#fake love who was like a scam love doctor old lady called dr.diva#pure lust who was a super tall vampire guy etc etc the list goes on#i kinda want to go through with that one. one problem! i cannot code fighting games#and the one that was pretty well developed - metallic miracle which had a pretty complicated story#basically the world is being attacked by alien creatures that can only be killed by children (never decided why tho)#so the fucked up government takes a bunch of 5-8 year olds and put them into comas and then turns them into cyborgs#to go on suicide missions to kill these aliens. mira's mother is the scientist who created the technology that can send them into comas#and keep their bodies moving n shit and she takes mira onto a different planet to try and save her but theyre found after a while#mira's mother is killed and mira is drafted in the kids v aliens war BUT she is immune to the coma technology#she fights fully aware of what is going on for around a year? and eventually the aliens are driven out and mira is super traumatised#and is one of the only survivors of this 'greater good project' - so they put her in a coma that actually works this time#and send her in a space capsule for years to give her some peace (didnt develop why shes in the space capsule)#anyway 50 years later mira is woken up and taken back to her home planet to help these other guys against smaller-scale threats#and the whole thing is about mira recovering from what happened to her learning to trust others and stuff#looking back the story is kinda edgy n doesnt really make sense and stuff but i think it could be interesting idk#is this oc rambling if its only in the tags?#whatever#oc rambling
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i have 7 assignments, total, left in school. once i finish those i'm going to be done- i graduate in may which is WILD to think about. i just have to fucking do them
#im not getting anything done today so far and its like. midway through the afternoon already#and i realized how close i am to graduating and how i have no idea what comes after that and now im just kind of directionlessly panicked#which is. really helping the situation as you could imagine /s#im really close to finishing a couple of things rn. could get at least one done today#i REALLY need to get to work on my essay bc that largely determines whether i get honours and im pretty behind schedule on it#and i havent looked at at least one final assn and i do NOT have much time left to start it. its not small#theres barely any time left in the semester at all#i just need to finish Smth today#levi.txt#i cant make myself do anything and im panicked abt that which makes it impossible to do anything#and taking breaks makes me feel guilty AND panicked so i cant even reset w a short break and come back#my parents Consistent response to my anxiety has been. poor at best. and they dont believe i have adhd at all#so if i talk to them abt either of those things they get upset w me and claim i just dont want to take their 'advice' so i cant be helped#and the advice is shit like 'dont feel that way' and 'simply go do your work'#like. i talked to my mom abt how stressed i feel bc im behind and her response was basically 'thats what you get for falling behind'#i havent seen my friends in a while either or at least not in an environment where we can actually hang out and talk#idk man. i just really wish i could stay in bed and watch a show and not feel sick bc of how anxious i am abt it all#i want to write again. i miss it a lot i havent been able to write in months now
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reading little women when i was ten was a weird experience, because i absolutely despised alcott's writing, but jo was one of the few characters i truly saw myself in at the time
#i was just ten and didn't want to read books my mom liked‚ i think.#it took me a while to get through twilight the year before.#i also suffered my way through little men after little women.#but-- you know? you know when you see yourself in a character and you can't really let go of it?#you see the smallest bits of parts of your life and it makes the experience of reading that much more meaningful#like when i read gregor the overlander and realized#'hey. this is also a poor kid who watches of his siblings all the time and sacrifices for them. wait a second.'#or i saw a spunky (and poor) girl in kit kittredge and how her best friend was more well off than her and. you know??#like. idk. it's weird that little women was also one of those books‚ given how much i hated reading it#i've never cared much about the idea of 'dnf.' im very big on quitting. i only finished it for AR points (and to make my mom happy)#i cried when i saw the 2019 version in theaters with my mom. i did.#it doesn't take much to make me cry but it wasn't just normal reactions to emotional beats. it was... it was jo.#it was the way i've felt my entire life up on a screen in front of me.#and nine years after the fact‚ i finally understood. i got why my mom loved that book so much. and i got why i was so attached to jo
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