#but this crazy things /starts/ c:< ]

[ruyakasunshine]

I'm crazy about them

[kenjo-arts]

Oh would you look at that! It's monday! Is this still a thing?

🥚💚 <3

C!DREAM EGGS MONDAY!!!! but lil blob!

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[cocksley-and-catapult]

i know nobody in your inbox can ever behave so hopefully this doesn’t start a cascade of deranged asks but i just need you to know that to my eyes cocksley is literally the quintessential east coast megalopolis jewish boy. i went to hebrew school with like ten guys who could be passed off as humansona versions of him. in my mind he went to hebrew school until his bar mitzvah and then never went back again and his parents literally introduce him as a nice jewish boy even though there is very clearly something wrong with him (he’s actually the much more common annoying jewish boy. this is an entirely separate thing from the very clear wrong with him thing). he oscillates rapidly between being the whitest boy at this indian restaurant and casually mentioning the time his grandpa ran over a nazi with his truck in the 70s and not elaborating at all. ive been thinking this about him since like issue 78 or something and now i literally can’t think of him otherwise. every time he’s ever mentioned christianity has made this hc like ten times funnier because it’s like man you don’t even go there why are YOU so messed up about it and honestly same. i know this comic has been predicated since the beginning on people interpreting whatever they want from the intentional lack of solid plot and answers so it doen’t really make a difference if this makes like, any sense to anyone else but just know that cocksley is a huge hit with the Annoying Jew Club (me) 👍

[maiteo]

help

[im-still-a-robot]

Sailor Merope!!!

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Oh my god season 2 is the season for psychotic Jaden truthers (it’s me, I’m psychotic Jaden truthers)

[elytrafemme]

sometimes i do miss the era where i could go ballistic crazy do you know how much reprieve i'd get if i could text someone do you think i'm insane and pretty and bad at sex. i've never actually sent a text like that in my life but there was something awfully rhythmic about doing literally ANYTHING so that someone wouldn't leave and now i just have to like... sit here. and like their instagram stories. and try not to go insane? i can't even vague like i used to because there's too many eyes on me WHAT DO I DO...

[lesbianlenas]

just thinking abt how when i was 13 i had internet friends from instagram (book instagram was very popular for the 13 yr old girl population at the time) who were the same age as me & among other things one of them was like oh i can teach you how to have an eating disorder like 😭😭😭 literally those exact words & i was like yes this is normal :) i tried to employ those tips however i already had an eating disorder so it made it impossible for me to give myself a second eating disorder that would contradict the first one i didn’t realize i had. but basically social contagions among teenage girls are crazy 😭😭😭😭

[yoroiis]

⬩⬩✦ @empyreanparadisaea​​​

“ Hmm... ” came an interested hum from just outside the building near the front entrance. 

“ The facade still looks intact, that’s good. And I’m glad to see the materials let they me use for the roofing seem to be holding up pretty well to the weather, too. Then again, I don’t remember anyone here saying the storms inside the Mirage were particularly bad either, so I guess that’s to be expected. ” 

It was a quality material, after all, and Kaveh had been given absolute freedom to design and remodel the structures inside the Veluriyam Mirage to his heart’s content! Just because it’d been awhile since Kaveh had seen the structure didn’t mean he’d expected something inspired by the Palace of Alcazarzaray to fail in a few years! It looked nice, except-

“ That window could probably be reworked though...and hmph! Do they even have anyone here tending to these gardens? That overgrowth should’ve been cleared out ages ago. ” Kaveh would keep his disgruntled scowl to himself as his curiosity got the better of him enough to step toward the door.

“ Hello? Hey, is anyone around!? ”

[inkats]

the best place to take nap ? lecture hall.

[daughterhouse]

the first time megumi kisses you, it's stiff and all too quick thanks to his nerves. he denies the fact it's his first kiss, which makes you giggle as you pull him in for his second-ever kiss, which he melts into as he starts to get the hang of things <3 ;c

and it's not too long before he's the one taking initiative on all the kisses. even if pda is embarrassing and 'totally stupid', you just look too pretty hanging off his arm through school breaks and trips into the city. he just has to steal a kiss and pretend he never did a thing when you poke at his cheek for doing so! he'd convince you that you're crazy if not for the blush that always paints the bridge of his nose after tasting your lip gloss

[vanesycho]

Summary:A little warning to your boyfriend who is insecure about his face.

warning:smut, face riding, pussy eating

a/n: @ldh0000 hope you like it luv😔🫶🏻 really obsessed with him🙏🏻

wc:0,9k

"Baby, aren't you ready yet?" Chan spoke as he entered the room and looked at you doing your makeup in front of the mirror, you looked at him in the mirror and spoke "No, I'm sorry this is taking so long." Chan walked over to you and leaned over the mirror, fixed his hair "Wow, today I'm declaring myself the ugliest man in the world." You put down your makeup without reacting to his 'joke' and turned to him, saw that he's smiling at you "How many times do we have to talk about not saying things like that?" He looked at your furrowed eyebrows and chuckled, kissed your cheek "Oh, don't take it seriously honey. It was just a joke. I mean… when I look at myself, well… I'm just exaggerating a bit."

You rolled your eyes and talked more to yourself as you did your makeup "It pisses me off that you don't realize how good you really look. I can't understand all your insecurities." he folded his arms and continued to listen to you as the smile on his face grew "I wonder how you dare to call yourself ugly when your handsome face and amazing body drive me crazy. I could even sit on your face and praise you for hours just to prove how beautiful you are, stupid." He raised his eyebrows questioningly and let out a chuckle, then you realized what you said and turned your head to him and made him laugh.

"Okay I didn't expect this much, to be honest. But I can't say I didn't like it." he leaned towards you and spoke against your lips "Should we cancel today's plans? So you can sit on my face and I won't joke about my looks again." You licked your dry lips, the thought of it making you clench your legs together. "Promise?" He smiled and held out his hand. "I promise." You took his hand and stood up, watching Chan take off his shirt and lie down on the bed. You now realized you were holding your breath and let out a deep breath. Chan, who was looking down at you, bit his lower lip excitedly and patted his lap. "Take off your clothes and come here," he didn't even have to repeat.

Your panties were on the floor in a short while and you were now on his lap, he gripped your hips tightly and let out a deep groan as he pressed you against him. "You look so beautiful." You smiled at the compliment you received. "You should see yourself. God...I have the most beautiful boyfriend." He gave a shy smile and pressed you back against him. "Let me taste you, I can tell how wet you are even through my clothes, fuck." You lifted your hips and moved forward a little more, stopping when you got to his face, Chan placed his hands on your legs and gave your clit a small lick first. When this unexpected move made your hips move away from his face, Chan tightened his grip and made you sit down completely.

His tongue started licking your hole, as you felt his big nose, made you let out a loud moan at the same time. "C-chris..Y-yes- you're so good.." The compliment he received excited Chan instantly and he continued his tongue strokes. Your moans showed that he was doing a good job, and with the confidence that came from it, he took care of your entire pussy. You ran a hand through his hair, begging for more. “Ride my face baby, I know you want it. Make your boyfriend happy by giving him what he wants.” You started to move your hips slowly, Chan’s face was almost completely covered with your juices, you moaned in pleasure as he sent a muffled moan into your pussy. “Please- you’re so good yes keep going- f-fuck I’m so close.” Chan didn’t care if he was out of breath at that moment, he didn’t stop or slow down his movements, what mattered right now was for you to cum on his beautiful face and he wanted it right now. Your moans were now like tears, your hips roamed over his face, Chan’s tongue was enough to destroy your hole. First he licked it all over and then he guided it to your hole and pushed it inside, while he helped you ride his nose where it was right next to your clit. Your hips were still moving to your face, you let your clenched body relax as you finally came. The cum that was dripping from Chan’s chin started to run down his neck. He didn't let you get up, he wanted to clean up every bit of liquid himself.

When he finally loosened his grip on your legs you shifted to the side and looked at him, swallowed as you looked at his face that was still full of your juices. “Fuck, you’re beautiful even when you’re this messed up.” He laughed at your hypnotic tone and looked away from you for a moment. “Thank you baby. Ah..if that’s what I’m going to have to go through every time I’m insecure, I’m okay with that.” You laughed and punched him lightly in the chest. “No, you promised.” He caught the spot you hit and a laugh echoed through the room. Chan leaned in and kissed your head. “I know, I’ll keep my promise…If you sat on my face every time I wanted?” You nodded, he smiled at that. “Good. Come back now, I’m not done with you.”

[tired-biscuit]

i want to ride yuuji so bad and then start crying cause he’s so thick and big and then have his strong arms wrap around me and then he starts thrusting up and we’re both drooling and moaning that would be a dream

18+ MDNI, fem!reader // cw: good girl, good girl, GOOD GIRL!

he’s cooing at you while caressing your cheeks and wiping your tears away, and it’s all so goddamn sweet that it outright hurts; in a good way, though.

always in a good way when it’s with him.

especially because he does it so effortlessly? being kind is like second nature to someone like yuuji and it’s hard not to melt into a puddle of gooey emotions and spill even more tears when he’s looking up at you with hearts in his warm honey-coloured eyes and there’s this prominently lovestruck look on his face that makes him look even dumber than he already is.

but he’s also cute, awfully so. his hair is an absolute mess, his lips are in the colour of dark pink from all the kissing, his cheeks are flushed, and his skin burns so hot that he’s sweating like crazy underneath the thick hoodie that he’s still got on. you’ve been in such a rush to get him inside you that you’re both still completely dressed, aside from the bits of clothing that have been tugged down and pushed to the side in order to make the entire thing easier for you, of course.

however, having all these layers on is simply excruciating. the heat makes him pant and causes his chest to heave in a faster rhythm than normal; and all those breaths make it somewhat hard to get all the praise that he feels for you out of his system.

but yuuji is no quitter. so he swallows the runny saliva that keeps on gathering in his mouth between sentences and threatens to spill past the corner of his lips. it’s audible and it makes his adam’s apple bob in his throat, and yet he still manages to thank you in hushed, trembling whispers and broken grunts and moans.

he thanks you for being such a good girlfriend; for being so willing to give it a chance when it comes to riding him and taking him in all the way, despite the fact that it’s only been a couple of days since he’s taken your virginity and your most sensitive parts are still sore and tender from all the gentle pounding — but pounding nevertheless — he had done after getting his first taste.

you feel heat sear your face as you listen to the jumble of gratitude he’s putting before you and look at him from underneath your lashes, trying to not pay mind how tears still cling to them as stubbornly as ever.

this entire thing has not gone the way you’ve imagined it to go at all and it’s frustrating as hell. and how couldn’t it be? i mean, you’ve known how big he is, have known how it feels to have him inside you, but jesus fucking christ, this position is nowhere as easy as missionary had been — and even then you’d struggled a great deal.

because now, you’re the one who has to do all the work while he sits there, looking pretty, sometimes eyeing how your arousal glistens on his pubic hair, even though your clit hasn’t come anywhere near to kissing the spot from how much of a hard time you’re having when it comes to sitting on his dick entirely.

if only you could just—

“hey,” he says the word with such care as he cups your cheek that it sends butterflies twirling in your belly. his hand is just so big, it urges you to pet yourself against it like a little kitty. “you okay?” yet another look that’s brimming with concern is thrown your way. “we don’t have to do this if it’s too much, you know… just tell me.”

“did you really mean all that?” you mumble the exact moment his hands reach for your hips, clearly aiming to manhandle you into a position that you’d be able to endure a bit better.

“mean what?” he asks, glancing downwards just for a second as your hands stop his own. his cock twitches in response — he’s always been such a sucker for hand holding and this time is no exception. when your fingers intertwine, his heart sings in answer.

“that i’m a good girl?” the eye contact that you initiate in return is determined instead of anxious all of a sudden and it makes his pupils visibly dilate right in front of you.

it seems like you’re no quitter either.

“‘course i did,” yuuji replies in a heartbeat, cherishing how you squeeze around him whenever he gives you his approval, his praise. “you’re such a good girl, my good girl, the goodest girl to ever walk the good girl planet... they should make you mayor of goodie town.”

you giggle at that and his smile quivers with pleasure from how it makes your pussy tighten even more. he’s doing everything he can not to grab you, press you against his chest and just follow instinct and start slamming away.

maybe next time… maybe you’ll be ready for it next time.

“you’re so silly,” you whisper, leaning in to kiss him again, though this time on the forehead. his skin tastes salty, and while it may be wrong, knowing that you’re not the only one that’s having a hard time right now makes you feel just a little bit calmer.

unbeknownst to you, the fact that you’re more relaxed allows you to take yet another inch of him inside you. your muscles slacken and his fat cockhead drags against your walls as a result, slipping and pushing in, in, in. the ring of cloudy white slick forms just a little below the lower half of his cock now, stretching you further and making your tummy feel hot and tingly.

it’s definitely progress.

and it makes poor yuuji moan straight into your mouth.

[slutofpsh]

brother’s best friend.

pairings: lee heeseung x reader

synopsis: your brother have one rule, that is to stay away from his friends. and rules are there for you to break them.

wc: 2k

warnings: smut. mdni. p in v. brother’s bestfriend trope. smut with a plot. raw sex (please use protection) dirty talking.

note: this is a short one. it randomly came inside my head and i knew i had to write this one. please stop asking when i’m posting the updates. thank you. anyway, reblogs and replies are highly encouraged. stay safe everyone!

slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.

“fuck,” a low groan emits from lee heeseung’s sexy lips as he continues rutting his thick cock deep inside you.

one of his large hands took a grip over your hip so he can go even faster. you moaned at the sensation, pleasure overwhelming for you. he just knew how to properly do it and he’s reaching every delicious part inside you.

“h-heeseung,” you moaned his name and held onto his strong arms for support. eyes tightly shut as they kept on rolling at the back of your mind.

heeseung’s eyes darted at you and smirks at the way your face beautifully contorts out of pleaser. he grabbed one of your boob then leans down to nibble on the tip, making you whimper.

he licks, suck and even bite it. making sure he leaves a mark on you. he pulls away when satisfied then dips his head towards yours to attach his hot lips to yours. he started giving you open mouthed kisses, both of you drunk of lust for each other.

your bodies connected like it was made for that. the way his dick slides in and out of you adds to the pleasure he's giving you. lee heeseung is good with a lot of things, specially on fucking you deep and hard. he’s a total expert.

“i love it when you’re being such a slut for my dick, princess.” he whispers, lips a few inches away from you. his lustful eyes staring at yours as you flutter yours open.

heeseung looked ethereal this way. hair’s messy, a few strands sticks onto his forehead due to the beads of sweat from fucking you so good. his nose touching yours affectionately.

you can’t remember for how long you’ve been doing these kind of things with him. you can’t even remember how did it even started. it shouldn’t suppose to be like this, but it just happened.

you can already feel the chills run down your spine just by imagining if ever your brother finds out you’re in bed with lee heeseung, his best friend.

heeseung kisses you on the cheek then glanced down at your connected privates. the way your cunt takes him all just drives him crazy. he used to just fantasizing about burying his cock deep inside you and to actually have him fucking you in every way he wants is fulfilling. it felt so good.

he knew it was wrong. its another level of betrayal for his best friend, but how can he resist such temptation? he’s just a human. a horny human and its getting even more uncontrollable when you’re around.

you are a walking sin for him. he tried. trust him, he really tried. but even after praying to all the saints, he just found himself on his knees and between your legs. deliciously devouring you like you’re his last meal.

“i’m c-close, h-hee.” you moaned sensually that made the grin on his face spread wider.

he loves it whenever you’re like this. a mess and very desperate for him.

“really?” and he started fucking even deeper. you nodded your head frantically, wanting so bad to reach that pleasure.

“y-yes...” your hold to his arm tightened. “please!”

“please what, princess?” he asks, taunting.

you pry your eyes open and stares at him, eyes begging. “please make m-me cum.”

he chuckles and was about to dip his head closer to you when a knock on your door slightly pulled you back to your senses.

“y/n?” the soft voice of your brother from the other side made your stomach drops. eyes bulging and heart thumping faster.

“oh my gosh! that’s my brother, hee!” you whispered at him, in panic.

“y/n?” he repeated after not hearing from you.

on the other hand, the boy hovering above you remains calm. too calm, actually. no panic can be seen from his lustrous eyes and a small smirk plays over his lips.

“calm down, princess. he won’t go inside.” he says, knowing his friend so well.

despite what he said, your chest can’t help pondering out of fear. this isn’t the most ideal position to be seen by him. he’s the sweetest brother, which makes you even scared on how he will react if he saw his best friend dicking his little sister down.

“b-but—” he interrupts and shushes you.

“just talk to him, hm?” and he leans his head, lips giving feathery kisses on your neck.

he started moving once again that strips out a moan from your lips.

“y/n? hey.” this time his tone became a lot stricter.

you heaved a sigh and tries hard to shove off the thought of heeseung’s dick currently sliding in and out from you.

“o-oppa! i’m so sorry. what is it?” you even chuckles. you bet it sounded so awkward.

“what are you doing? i’ve called like three times.” he stated, a hint of suspicion lingers through his voice.

“i was trying on some dress i bought o-online!” you made up and one hand flew on your lips to muffle a gasp.

heeseung sucks on your skin and rut his dick even faster. he’s trying to chase the orgasm both of you lost when you’re brother suddenly knocked on your door.

“oh, okay. i knocked because i ordered some pizza.” he informed you. if you aren’t in such situation where you’re being desperate to cum, you’ll be flying out from the room to devour that pizza. tho, there’s a much important thing you’re focused at the moment.

“o-okay oppa!” and lets out a stiffle moan when heeseung started hitting that spot again.

he groans on your skin, kissing and biting on it. “fuck, feels so good princess.” he whispers.

“are you okay?” your brother asks after hearing like you’re out of breath.

“y-yes! i’ll be down in a bit to join you, oppa.” you shouted, eager to get rid of him so heeseung can fuck you freely.

heeseung chuckles lightly, finding you adorable.

“okay. hurry up or it will get cold.” was his last words before you heard his steps going away from your room.

heeseung inhaled your sweet scent and pulled away slightly to look on your eyes. he smirks dangerously.

“well you heard him. we should hurry up.” he whispers and started fucking you sensely. you can feel every slide of his dick inside of you. he’s so thick and long, feels so delicious.

“i’m c-cumming, heeseung.” you moaned.

he grunts, “me too, fuck.” he curses and rests his forhead on yours.

“this pussy is mine.” he growls lowly. “you hear me?”

you mindlessly nod your head. mind too fuzzy to even comprehend what he’s saying.

“say it.” he ordered.

you didn’t respond and kept on whimpering softly under him.

“say that this pussy is mine, y/n.” he demanded.

your eyes pry open and stared at him with lust in them. “t-this pussy is yours, hee.”

a satisfied smirk spreads across his handsome face before he fucked you hard and deep. the familiar knot on your stomach made you delirious, almost making you see stars.

you came around his dick first, legs shaking and eyes rolling at the depth of your head. heeseung leans down and puts your nipple inside his mouth, trying to reach his own release. the desperation on cumming and painting your insides with his cum is poisoning his mind.

“shit.” he curses after shooting it all inside. he pulls away and attached his lips on yours.

“you did so well for me, princess.” he whispers while still sliding in and out, riding out your high together.

a small smile is what you return to him then place a kiss on his cheek. after snapping back to your senses, with slightly wobbly legs, you tried your best to pull yourself together. he casually put his clothes back and helped you with yours.

“let me fix your hair.” he chuckles and tries to run his fingers through your messy strands.

“i’ll go now. i will text you.” he says and rests both of his hands on your hips.

you nodded, “i’ll go down to my brother.”

he nods then placed a peck on your lips before exiting through your open window. he did it with so much ease that anyone who sees it can tell that isn’t the first time he did that. and just like that, lee heeseung left your room like as if he wasn’t even there.

“here.” jay, your brother places a plate of pizza in front of you.

“thank you, oppa.” then you even gave him a sweet smile.

he nods and lets you eat in peace. his eyes are carefully watching you while he eats his own slice.

“my friends will be arriving in a few minutes. we’ll play video games and you—”

“and i should stay inside my room.” you finished his own sentence that made him smirk a little.

“yes, please.”

he was clear as the crystals from the start when he warned you not to get involve with any of his friends. your brother is the sweetest and kindest brother in the whole wide universe, but he’s also very strict. he’s good in setting boundaries too.

moments later, somebody rang the doorbell and your brother left to go check it while you enjoy your pizza. now that all the lust worn out, you felt the hunger from all that activity.

you can hear some people heading to your kitchen so your eyes lifted from your phone.

“you’re early, dude.” jay says. he was the first one to enter. behind him towers lee heeseung.

“i told you, i happen to be around the area.” he reasoned out while glancing at your way.

when your gazes met, you glanced away like you’re being burned by it. his reasons to your brothers almost made you laugh. ‘happen to be around the area’ my ass, more like ‘happen to be inside your sister’s room’.

“hey, y/n.” he says then leans over the table.

jay sat down at his seat before swatting his friend’s arm. “fuck off.” he hissed strictly that earned a sexy chuckle from heeseung.

it made you gulp, instantly feeling wet down there just by hearing him laughing. it was unbelievable even for you.

“what? i was just greeting your little sister.” he says with a big smile. it may appear nothing but teasing to your brother, but lee heeseung can’t help smiling. not when he just buried his dick so deep in you and filled you with his hot cum.

the two of them got interrupted when a train of doorbells occurs on your door. jay picks up his phone.

“go inside. its open.” he ordered.

soon, a few more of his familiar friends storms inside the kitchen, crowding it. they’re goofing around and even greeted you despite receiving threatening looks from jay.

heeseung’s eyes are fixed at you, a playful smirk on his lips can’t be wiped off.

“i’ll take my pizza up to my room and i’ll watch some kdrama, oppa.” you said that almost made your brother cheer in joy.

he kissed you by the cheeks and told you to just text him if you needed anything. on the way to the staircase, your eyes caught lee heeseung and he’s giving you that meaningful look. you tried hard to ignore it and just proceeded on going back to your bedroom.

you’ve lost track on how many episodes you already watched and now you’re on tiktok, mindlessly scrolling over the feed when a faint knock from your door caught your attention.

you glanced at it shortly then eyed the wall clock. seeing that its already 1 am in the morning, it made you wonder who it was.

his friends and your brother has been at it all night after their arrival between your dinner. you can still hear them loudly from downstair so you assume it could be your brother, checking on you.

without thinking much of it, you stood up from the bed then headed towards the door.

your brows furrows hardly when you saw a familiar built standing by your door. it was slightly dark as the hallway to your room is not fully lit as its late already. but despite the lack of lights, you can tell who it was perfectly.

“what are you doing here?” you ask, a little surprise and worried. trying to peak through the door to check if he’s with someone or your brother’s around. but nobody was there.

he pushed the door wider to let himself inside and then closes it behind him.

a light gasp escapes from your mouth when he suddenly pushed your back to the door, pressing his body closer to you.

“my brother and your friends are downstairs! are you out of your mind?”

he lets out a sexy chuckle, “i sneaked out so i only have a few minutes until they notice my absence.” he informs you.

“you shouldn’t be here.” you mumble, shoulder relaxing from his soft touches. his warm hands caressing inside your shirt makes you feel dizzy.

his face leans down to your neck, his pointy big nose nuzzling and inhaling your scent.

“i know baby. but i just can’t stop thinking about last night.” he mumbles, sounding a bit desperate. “i can’t stop thinking about you.”

your lips falls open and heart thumps so loudly. one of your hand raises and plays on his hairs at the lower part of his head. his long, soft hair feels amazing through your fingers. you let out a light moan when his thick, luscious lips starts giving your neck open mouth kisses. sucking the skin.

“i can’t stop thinking about last night too” you inwardly admits and eyes shut when you felt his hand slipping inside your clothes.

“i can’t stop thinking about you too, jake.”

permanent tag-list

@stacey-stonem @love4hee

[staff]

We Asked an Expert...in Herpetology!

People on Tumblr come from all walks of life and all areas of expertise to grace our dashboards with paragraphs and photographs of the things they want to share with the world. Whether it's an artist uploading their speed art, a fanfic writer posting their WIPs, a language expert expounding on the origin of a specific word, or a historian ready to lay down the secrets of Ea-nasir, the hallways of Tumblr are filled with specialists sharing their knowledge with the world. We Asked an Expert is a deep dive into those expert brains on tumblr dot com. Today, we’re talking to Dr. Mark D. Scherz (@markscherz), an expert in Herpetology. Read on for some ribbeting frog facts, including what kind of frog the viral frog bread may be based on.

Reptiles v Amphibians. You have to choose one.

In a battle for my heart, I think amphibians beat out the reptiles. There is just something incredibly good about beholding a nice plump frog.

In a battle to the death, I have to give it to the reptiles—the number of reptiles that eat amphibians far, far outstrips the number of amphibians that eat reptiles.

In terms of ecological importance, I would give it to the amphibians again, though. Okay, reptiles may keep some insects and rodents in check, but many amphibians live a dual life, starting as herbivores and graduating to carnivory after metamorphosis, and as adults they are critical for keeping mosquitos and other pest insects in check.

What is the most recent exciting fact you discovered about herps?

This doesn’t really answer your question, but did you know that tadpole arms usually develop inside the body and later burst through the body wall fully formed? I learned about this as a Master’s student many years ago, but it still blows my mind. What’s curious is that this apparently does not happen in some of the species of frogs that don’t have tadpoles—oh yeah, like a third of all frogs or something don’t have free-living tadpoles; crazy, right? They just develop forelimbs on the outside of the body like all other four-legged beasties. But this has only really been examined in a couple species, so there is just so much we don’t know about development, especially in direct-developing frogs. Like, how the hell does it just… swap from chest-burster to ‘normal’ limb development? Is that the recovery of the ancestral programming, or is it newly generated? When in frog evolution did the chest-burster mode even evolve?

How can people contribute to conservation efforts for their local herps?

You can get involved with your local herpetological societies if they exist—and they probably do, as herpetologists are everywhere. You can upload observations of animals to iNaturalist, where you can get them identified while also contributing to datasets on species distribution and annual activity used by research scientists.

You can see if there are local conservation organizations that are doing any work locally, and if you find they are not, then you can get involved to try to get them started. For example, if you notice areas of particularly frequent roadkill, talking to your local council or national or local conservation organizations can get things like rescue programs or road protectors set up. You should also make sure you travel carefully and responsibly. Carefully wash and disinfect your hiking boots, especially between locations, as you do not want to be carrying chytrid or other nasty infectious diseases across the world, where they can cause population collapses and extinctions.

Here are some recent headlines. Quick question, what the frog is going on in the frog world? 

Click through for Mark’s response to these absolutely wild headlines, more about his day-to-day job, his opinion on frog bread, and his favorite Tumblr.

✨D I S C O V E R Y✨

There are more people on Earth than ever before, with the most incredible technology that advances daily at their disposal, and they disperse that knowledge instantly. That means more eyes and ears observing, recording, and sharing than ever before. And so we are making big new discoveries all the time, and are able to document them and reach huge audiences with them.

That being said, these headlines also showcase how bad some media reporting has gotten. The frogs that scream actually scream mostly in the audible range—they just have harmonics that stretch up into ultrasound. So, we can hear them scream, we just can’t hear all of it. Because the harmonics are just multiples of the fundamental, they would anyway only add to the overall ‘quality’ of the sound, not anything different. The mushroom was sprouting from the flank of the frog, and scientists are not really worried about it because this is not how parasitic fungi work, and this is probably a very weird fluke. And finally, the Cuban tree frogs (Osteocephalus septentrionalis) are not really cannibals per se; they are just generalist predators who will just as happily eat a frog as they will a grasshopper, but the frogs they are eating are usually other species. People seem to forget that cannibalism is, by definition, within a species. The fact that they are generalist predators makes them a much bigger problem than if they were cannibals—a cannibal would actually kind of keep itself in check, which would be useful. The press just uses this to get people’s hackles up because Westerners are often equal parts disgusted and fascinated by cannibalism. 

What does an average day look like for the curator of herpetology at the Natural History Museum of Denmark?

No two days are the same, and that is one of the joys of the job. I could spend a whole day in meetings, where we might be discussing anything from which budget is going to pay for 1000 magnets to how we could attract big research funding, to what a label is going to say in our new museum exhibits (we are in the process of building a new museum). Equally, I might spend a day accompanying or facilitating a visitor dissecting a crocodile or photographing a hundred snakes. Or it might be divided into one-hour segments that cover a full spectrum: working with one of my students on a project, training volunteers in the collection, hunting down a lizard that someone wants to borrow from the museum, working on one of a dozen research projects of my own, writing funding proposals, or teaching classes. It is a job with a great deal of freedom, which really suits my work style and brain.

Oh yeah, and then every now and then, I get to go to the field and spend anywhere from a couple of weeks to several months tracking down reptiles and amphibians, usually in the rainforest. These are also work days—with work conditions you couldn’t sell to anyone: 18-hour work days, no weekends, no real rest, uncomfortable living conditions, sometimes dangerous locations or working conditions, field kitchen with limited options, and more leeches and other biting beasties than most health and welfare officers would tolerate—but the reward is the opportunity to make new discoveries and observations, collect critical data, and the privilege of getting to be in some of the most beautiful and biodiverse places left on the planet. So, I am humbled by the fact that I have the privilege and opportunity to undertake such expeditions, and grateful for the incredible teams I collaborate with that make all of this work—from the museum to the field—possible.

The Tibetan Blackbird is also known as Turdus maximus. What’s your favorite chortle-inducing scientific name in the world of herpetology?

Among reptiles and amphibians, there aren’t actually that many to choose from, but I must give great credit to my friend Oliver Hawlitschek and his team, who named the snake Lycodryas cococola, which actually means ‘Coco dweller’ in Latin, referring to its occurrence in coconut trees. When we were naming Mini mum, Mini scule, and Mini ature, I was inspired by the incredible list that Mark Isaac has compiled of punning species names, particularly by the extinct parrot Vini vidivici, and the beetles Gelae baen, Gelae belae, Gelae donut, Gelae fish, and Gelae rol. I have known about these since high school, and it has always been my ambition to get a species on this list.

If you were a frog, what frog would you be and why?

I think I would be a Phasmahyla because they’re weird and awkward, long-limbed, and look like they’re wearing glasses. As a 186 cm (6’3) glasses-wearing human with no coordination, they quite resonate with me.

Please rate this frog bread from 1/10. Can you tell us what frog it represents?

With the arms inside the body cavity like that, it can basically only be a brevicipitid rain frog. The roundness of the body fits, too. I’d say probably Breviceps macrops (or should I say Breadviceps?) based on those big eyes. 7/10, a little on the bumpy side and missing a finger and at least one toe.

Please follow Dr. Mark Scherz at @markscherz for even more incredibly educational, entertaining, and meaningful resources in the world of reptiles and amphibians.