#but obvs i couldn’t do it bc i could not cope w my stress & anxiety w/o eating as per bed 🤪 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lesbianlenas · 1 month ago

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just thinking abt how when i was 13 i had internet friends from instagram (book instagram was very popular for the 13 yr old girl population at the time) who were the same age as me & among other things one of them was like oh i can teach you how to have an eating disorder like 😭😭😭 literally those exact words & i was like yes this is normal :) i tried to employ those tips however i already had an eating disorder so it made it impossible for me to give myself a second eating disorder that would contradict the first one i didn’t realize i had. but basically social contagions among teenage girls are crazy 😭😭😭😭

#michelle speaks #very hard to make urself anorexic when u already have binge eating disorder 😭 VERY incompatible eating disorders….#but like crazy how teenage girls will just be like oh i can teach u how to have an eating disorder for no reason like it’s not like i asked #she just offered it up to us in the chat 😭 and i was like ok i guess i should try that #but obvs i couldn’t do it bc i could not cope w my stress & anxiety w/o eating as per bed 🤪#them + the other 13 yr olds on instagram were also the reason i started c*tting. like girls. what r we doing.#like it never occurred to me to do those things until i saw other girls my age doing it & acting like it was cool so i was like oh i guess #i’m supposed to do it too. although to be real i prob would have started c*tting anyway once i saw it in some media or another anyway #AND i developed an eating disorder all on my own so when u think abt it. i was very on trend just by being me ❤️#i only say the second thing bc i was very deeply depressed & not then but over time i did start developing a lot of self harm fantasies etc #but that is MY personal business. but even if so it was damaging to see that stuff at 13 #bc perhaps maybe i wouldn’t have & maybe i wouldn’t have had self harm fantasies as an adult & such #ok well i was supposed to go to sleep but i spent 20 mins writing this post for no reason. oops!

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