#but this applies to Ras as well
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astro-nomaly · 4 months ago
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I think a lot of the Ninja’s problems would be solved if they were willing to just kill people
“Oh all life is precious-“ no it’s not. Shoot him Lloyd
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applecoreart · 1 year ago
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+I'm more or less done with the wardrobe part of Crane's model sheets, at least for now. Next thing on the to do list is sketching some expression references to put off to the side so they're all in one place when I'm animating. I did end up changing two small simple things with Crane's hair that made a huge difference-- I think it has a better silhouette now, though I have to go back and update my last head chart again. Worth it though. I feel like I've improved a lot undertaking this project and right now, I'm satisfied with the progress and look of things.
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n7punk · 2 years ago
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sometimes i get really caught up thinking about how scorpia does fucking anything with her pincers (she cant use a touchscreen, surely, those things dont even work with fingers if you're wearing gloves, so scorpioni would need button phones, right? like its 2008? what about keyboards? hell, how does she write because her claw's girth seems like it would get in the way and she would need an extra long pencil to even reach the paper) and then my head hurts and i realize why she-ra isn't set in irl modern times because there's just way too much to deal with and they couldn't even figure out tracker pads really, she just kind of punched them
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At least Arjuna has merchandise!
the pyramid of fgo merch and it’s like
gigapopular female character from fsn (400 expensive figures, a shitload of little cheaper figures, pins badges shirts themed underwear you could theoretically live your entire life using nothing but items with saber’s face on it)
vvvv
gilgamesh (it’s fucking gilgamesh end tier. Merlin, arthur and cu can sort of qualify for this as well)
vvv
slightly less popular than saber but still widely popular female character like scathach or jalter (one million figures and more on the way, so many fucking figures we get it you like making scathach figures please let someone else have a turn)
vvv
Widely popular fgo/fate male that isn’t gilgamesh or maybe Merlin/arthur (DO YOU LIKE KEYCHAINS? HERES 400 FUCKING KEYCHAINS AND CAN BADGES. LETS REUSE THE SAME 3-4 ARTS OVER AND OVER. You MIGHT get a figure if you’re lucky but lmao. Lol.)
vvv
Not as popular fgo female character/unpopular fgo female character (exactly the same as widely popular fgo male but cheaper and also harder to find. Standees slightly less common)
vvv
mildly popular to unpopular male character (good fucking luck)
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sayruq · 6 months ago
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Police in the Turkish city of Adana detained 11 suspects, five Israeli and two Syrian, on allegations of organ trafficking, the Daily Sabah reported on 5 May. The Provincial Directorate of Security's Anti-Smuggling and Border Gates Branch began investigating after examining the passports of seven individuals who arrived in Adana from Israel about a month ago by plane for the purpose of health tourism. The two Syrian nationals, ages 20 and 21, were found to have fake passports. Further investigation revealed that Syrian nationals had each agreed to sell one of their own kidneys to two of the Israeli nationals, ages 68 and 28, for kidney transplants in Adana. During searches at the suspects' residences, $65,000 and numerous fake passports were seized. Israel has long been at the center of what Bloomberg described in 2011 as a “sprawling global black market in organs where brokers use deception, violence, and coercion to buy kidneys from impoverished people, mainly in underdeveloped countries, and then sell them to critically ill patients in more-affluent nations.” The financial newspaper added, “Many of the black-market kidneys harvested by these gangs are destined for people who live in Israel.” The organ-trafficking network extends from former Soviet Republics such as Azerbaijan, Belarus, Ukraine, and Moldova to Brazil, the Philippines, South Africa, and beyond, the Bloomberg investigation showed. Accusations of Israeli involvement in organ trafficking also apply to the occupied Palestinian territories. In 2009, Sweden's largest daily newspaper, Aftonbladet, reported testimony that the Israeli army was kidnapping and murdering Palestinians to harvest their organs. The report quotes Palestinian claims that young men from the occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip had been seized by the Israeli army, and their bodies returned to the families with missing organs. "'Our sons are used as involuntary organ donors,' relatives of Khaled from Nablus said to me, as did the mother of Raed from Jenin as well as the uncles of Machmod and Nafes from Gaza, who all had disappeared for a few days and returned by night, dead and autopsied," wrote Donald Bostrom, the author of the report.Bostrom also cites an incident of alleged organ theft during the the first Palestinian intifada in 1992. He says that the Israeli army abducted a young man known for throwing stones at Israeli troops in the Nablus area. The young man was shot in the chest, both legs, and the stomach before being taken to a military helicopter, which transported him to an unknown location. Five nights later, Bostrom said, the young man's body was returned, wrapped in green hospital sheets. Israel’s Channel 2 TV reported that in the 1990s, specialists at Abu Kabir Forensic Medicine Institute harvested skin, corneas, heart valves, and bones from the bodies of Israeli soldiers, Israeli citizens, Palestinians, and foreign workers without permission from relatives. The Israeli military confirmed that the practice took place, but claimed, "This activity ended a decade ago and does not happen any longer." Israel’s assault on Gaza since 7 October has provided further opportunities for the theft and harvesting of Palestinians’ organs. On 30 January, WAFA news agency reported that the Israeli army returned the bodies of 100 Palestinian civilians it had stolen from hospitals and cemeteries in various areas in Gaza. According to medical sources, inspection of some of the bodies showed that organs were missing from some of them. On 18 January, the Times of Israel reported that the Israeli army confirmed reports that its soldiers dug up graves in a Gaza cemetery, claiming its soldiers were trying to “confirm that the bodies of hostages were not buried there.”
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i-love-ptv · 1 month ago
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Busted and Blue 。𖦹 ⋆。
Pairing: Boyfriend!Rafe Cameron x Girlfriend!Reader
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It’s the annual kook halloween party, so of course you’re going to let loose with your friends! If only you proceeded with more caution like your boyfriend wanted..
Wc: 3,727
Hurt + comfort, protective Rafe, SUPER creepy guy harasses reader n grabs her :(( soz
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An: Hey chat 😈 I would’ve gotten this out sooner if I could, but ofc i’m super sick (i think i have the flu somehow? 😭) But anywho, I hope yall enjoy this cause i lowkkk had this sitting unfinished in the docs since late september..🌚
Not proofread I fear (cause when do I ever guys)
Feedback always appreciated n welcome! Also send halloween/fall requests guys I wanna hear from y’all! :3 <33
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“Y’ready, puddin’?” You turn to your boyfriend, Rafe, while adjusting the ears resting upon your freshly styled hair.
Rafe smirks at you, “‘M ready when you are.”
You grab your wallet off of your nightstand, alongside your keys, and stick them into Rafe’s jacket pockets.
Rafe grabs you by your waist, stepping closer to you, making sure he doesn’t accidentally step on your furry boots, and leaving an airy kiss onto your lips. He knows you’ll pout if he messes up your gloss and lip liner.
“Let’s go!” You cheer excitedly, gripping the golden haired boy’s arm and pulling him along. Rafe chuckles at your enthusiasm.
But before the two of you can pass the door’s frame, you abruptly stop walking, and let out a yelp.
“Wait!”
“Jesus Christ! What?” Rafe shouts out, purely in concern.
Due to you stepping into the bathroom, he can barely see you. But he sees you reach for something off of the sink.
You practically skip over to him giggling. “I almost forgot, Ray!”
You wave a container of face paint in front of his nose. You’re bouncing in your spot, making him grip your hips still.
“Y’scared me, sweet girl.”
You pout at this, but your frown quickly turns into a smile when you open the lid of the container.
“Mhmm. Sorry Ray. But your costume’s not complete without it!”
Rafe is sporting a camo fleece jacket, with matching baggy pants, and some dark boots. He’s wearing a camo beanie too, which covers his delicious buzzed hair.
He has a prop gun sitting in his waistband.
And last but not least, Rafe was letting his facial hair grow a bit for this exact day, per your request.
Instead of being cleanly shaven, his scruff was coming in, and the sight nearly made your mouth water.
But that’s besides the point, tonight was the annual Obx Halloween party, thrown by both Kelce and Topper at their shared house alongside a few other kooks as well.
If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought it was a fraternity, but honestly, it wasn’t really far from one. Every day you wonder why their parents decided to fund it, but that’s besides the point.
Every kook attends this party every year, and some pogues would come too.
Did this cause a few problems? Absolutely, but at least it’s a bit more civilized than it was years prior.
With the party, there’s a costume contest, you even went out of your way a few years back to make a cute ballet box. Although, last year you had to make a new one, due to one partygoer accidentally crushing it against the table it rested on during a drunken fight.
You were pissed, to say the least, you spent the rest of the night sulking, and Rafe nearly punched the kid, despite him already suffering from a beating. He hated seeing you upset.
But every year, for 3 years in a row, Rafe and you would win the ‘Best Couples Costumes’ competition.
Last year, it came close, but everybody loves a classic, and you knew two measly pirates weren’t going to beat Flynn Ryder and Rapunzel.
And this year, you knew that you both were going to win again, your deer costume was just the cutest!
You’re holding Rafe’s face, specifically holding his cheeks with your thumb and index finger. You squish his face a few times cheekily, before applying the black face paint onto his cheeks.
You drag the brush down, lightly tickling Rafe’s slightly rosey cheeks, he’s trying not to react, you can tell. You find it cute.
“Okay! Now we’re good to go!” You clap your hands together with a giggle, Rafe swears he falls harder for you every single day.
You intertwine your hands with his, then head to Rafe’s car.
Rafe opens your door before you can even reach for the handle.
“Wowww,” you drag out, “Aren’t you a gentleman?”
He side-eyes you, leaving you cackling as he rounds the car to the driver’s side.
After walking through the front door of Kelce and Topper’s house, you’re immediately greeted by several people, some of your friends, some of Rafe’s.
You’re holding your boyfriend’s hand tightly, tip-toeing in while responding to all of the ‘Hey Dollie!’s and the ‘You look so cute Dollie!’s.
You drag Rafe into the kitchen, blabbering on about how you “need to find a smirnoff or else you’re going to collapse”.
Topper and Kelce spot Rafe, they rush over and start patting him on the back.
“Ayeee, howdy Rafe! Glad you finally showed up!”
They’re both dressed up as cowboys, their forced country accent makes you giggle.
Kelce notices you before Topper does, he instantly grins.
“Howdy there, Miss Dollie! Look at you!” You beam brightly, taking pride in your costume.
“A deer and a hunter? How cute, I think someone’s gone soft.” Topper raises his eyebrows in a teasing manner. He always talks about how “Rafe’s gone soft”, because years ago, if a girl asked if he wanted to wear matching halloween costumes, he would’ve laughed in her face.
“Shut the hell up Topper.” Rafe practically barked at him.
You walk over to the fridge, looking for your beloved smirnoff. Topper coos at Rafe, while Kelce makes kissy faces at him, making you laugh at their antics.
You hear a squeal behind you and you whip your head around.
There in front of you, is none other than your [basically almost] sister-in-law, Sarah Cameron.
“Oh my god, Dollie!! You look so cute!” She barrels into you, and you stumble back.
After you two talk for a bit, she drags you away, telling you how she wants to show you something.
You look back at Rafe, who looks a little apprehensive about letting you roam without him.
It’s not that he didn’t trust you, and he definitely wasn’t one to completely baby you, but he didn’t trust others.
There are some sleazy kooks here, ones that act how he used to, and that nearly sent a shiver up his spine at the thought of you being subjected to being around anyone like that.
He wants to protect you, he needs to.
It’s his job as your boyfriend.
Your future husband.
Anything can happen at a party, especially if you're not in his eyesight.
But you gave him a look of reassurance. Your eyes convey a message, almost as if you’re saying “It’s going to be okay” to him personally.
He holds your gaze for a few seconds longer, he looks uncertain, but eventually, you’re lost in the wave of bodies.
“Dude, you act like she’s gonna disappear or something, she’s only gonna be gone for a little bit.”
Topper’s statement makes Rafe turn back and glare at him.
He says nothing, instead, he goes to the fridge to grab a beer.
He knows he can only drink a few, since he’s going to be driving back home tonight. And you sure as hell aren’t going to let him drive if he’s even a bit tipsy.
…Even if that means you have to drive in the dark, which is hard for you to see in.
That’s one of the things that Rafe loves most about you. You’re so attentive. It’s new for him.
The two of you have been dating for years, coming up on four, to be exact.
But Rafe doesn’t think he’ll ever truly get used to the feeling of your love, and your warmth.
Rafe truly wonders if there’s an off-switch on Topper and Kelce.
They’ve been talking about a whole bunch of nothing and quite frankly, it’s starting to piss him off.
He knows you’d hate it if he was too busy worrying about what you’re doing rather than enjoying his time at a party with his friends.
It’s been an hour of non-stop chirping in his ear, and Rafe’s been nursing his second beer for the past 20 minutes.
“Yo, Rafe. Did your girl ever bring the costume ballot box in?” Kelce asks, touching his beer bottle with Rafe’s, making a sharp ‘clink’ noise.
Rafe groans, “Aw shit man. I'll go get it.” He rubs his hand over his face.
And with that, Rafe is trekking through the house towards his car, but not without pushing a few people out of his way.
Kelce snickers alongside Topper, who is growing agitated by his so-called girlfriend’s pestering, and finishes off his 5th-or-so beer.
Kelce hears a whimper from behind him, and quickly shoots around to see you: wobbling in your shoes, with your legs pressing together slightly. He can tell you’re already drunk.
“What’s up, Dollie? You okay?” Kelce rests his hands on your shoulders, aiming to keep you steady.
Your glossed lips remain in a pout, “Have you seen Rafe? I gotta go to the bathroom ‘n he told me to tell ‘em when I gotta.”
“He jus’ went to his car to get the ballot box. I can take you if you want though.”
“Oh pretty please, Kelce?” You’re speaking so urgently, Kelce can barely understand you.
But that doesn’t matter, cause he makes you hold his arm so you don’t get separated from him while he walks you to the less-crowded bathroom upstairs.
When you get there, you quickly unwrap your arms from Kelce’s bicep and rush out a ‘thank you so so much, Kelcey’. Which makes him chuckle, knowing that Rafe would mope if he heard it.
It’s been 10 minutes, and Kelce grows a bit worried. He’s confused as to why it’s taken you so long.
“Hey uh, Dollie? You alright in there..?” He questions as he knocks his finger on the door.
“Mhm! Jus’ tryna…Button m’damn shorts.” You slur, and Kelce hears your heavy footsteps through the door.
Kelce hears you murmur ‘Dumb fuckin’ nails…Won’t lemme do shit’, before a girl wearing a Tinker Bell costume grabs his attention.
Now if Kelce was in the right state of mind, he would’ve never left you alone. But right now, with quite a bit of alcohol in his system, he’s not thinking clearly.
So after another five minutes when you finally walk out of the bathroom and see a random guy leaned against the wall, smirking at you, instead of Kelce, you panic.
“Wha’s good pretty girl?” He coos, similar to how your boyfriend would, but more sinisterly.
You sort-of sober up at this, despite having 3 shots and 2 of Sarah’s cocktail things. But your mind still remains foggy.
You don’t respond at first, for some reason you think he’s talking to someone behind you, until he grabs your arm when you try to pass him.
“Nothin’? C’mon talk to me doll.”
You don’t like how the nickname sounds coming from his mouth, and you stammer to try and respond.
“Jus’ wanted to use the bathroom..”You whimper meekly.
You’re looking around for Kelce or even Rafe, but you can hardly tell whether or not this guy really is pink.
“Dollie? You up here babe?”
You whip your head back, too quickly unfortunately, and you see Sarah coming up the stairs.
….Not without tripping up the step once or twice, though.
“Oh m’gosh Dollie, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Listen, I found some more shit, ‘n I could totally make one of those cool Bloody Mary’s—“
The drunk blonde cuts off her rambling once she opens her eyes and looks at you.
You’re grimacing, while trying to pull your arm away from this guy, who seemingly has a painful grip on you. And you can barely stand straight.
Sarah’s eyes widen, and from the looks of it, all of the alcohol from the night has suddenly vanished from her body.
“What the fuck d’you think you’re doing?!” Sarah nearly barks at the boy as she takes a few steps closer, trying to steady herself.
“This doesn’t concern you, bitch,” he sneers, making you inhale the smell of alcohol from his breath due to the close proximity.
Sarah’s practically stomping across the hallway, reaching for your hand.
“It obviously concerns me since you’re gripping my best friend, you cunt.”
When the blonde girl finally reaches you, the drunken kook shoves her straight into the wall, making you shout for Sarah.
You’re pushing against the man, begging him to just let you go, while he’s trying to drag you back into one of the dark rooms of the house.
Meanwhile, Rafe’s freaking the fuck out downstairs, and honestly, he’s about to flip this entire house upside down.
He’s taking large steps, walking with a purpose as he finally spots Topper. He smacks a rough hand on his shoulder, interrupting Topper’s conversation with the girl from earlier.
“Yo, Topper, you seen my sister?”
Topper turns around, nearly snarling due to the mention of his ex girlfriend.
“No, dude, why the fuck would I know where she is?”
Rafe’s nose flares, he’s growing more and more irritated by the minute at the thought of you being out of his line of sight.
“Don’t fucking catch an attitude with me, and I don’t really care where the fuck my sister is, I’m looking for Dollie.”
There’s a beat of silence between them, despite the loud surroundings, then somebody’s rushing to Rafe before Topper can even respond.
It’s some random pogue, which angers Rafe even more, — but he’d never tell you that though.
“Rafe! This guy just shoved Sarah into the wall upstairs,” he rushes out through his panting, since he had sprinted down the stairs moments prior.
“And, and he keeps grabbin’ on Dollie-“ Rafe immediately starts charging upstairs.
His large strides make everyone turn towards him, wondering what made Rafe Cameron furious this time.
Rafe swears that his heart is going to pound out of his chest; this is the exact reason as to why he wanted you at his side tonight.
He knew not to let you drink with Sarah, because everytime the two of you are left alone together with alcohol, it doesn’t end well.
Rafe’s taking two steps at a time, he’s balling his fists so tightly that his knuckles are turning white.
He swings around the banister, then he sees a group of people holding back a guy who’s cursing loudly, and flailing his body.
“She was fucking asking for it, get the fuck off me!”
Then as he’s walking up, he sees Sarah slap him, and reach into her boot.
“You dirty. Fucking. Freak!” Sarah yells, putting emphasis on every word she spits.
And at the end of her shouting, she sprays her mace in the boy’s face. She’s waving her bedazzled pepper spray container wildly, making the boys holding the kook avert their faces.
Rafe whips his sister around, “what the fuck is going on? Where’s Dollie?”
Sarah huffs at the brunette’s harshness. “She locked herself in the bathroom after I managed to get the guy off her.”
Rafe nearly bulldozes through the forming crowd and parks himself right in front of the door.
But he hesitates to knock.
He urgently wants to get to you, to pull you into his arms and take you straight home. He wants to go through the after-party ritual you both have:
First, he’d always set you down in the kitchen as soon as you both got home, so he could get you a glass of water.
Then after you went into your shared room, he’d help you take off your shoes and clothes, so you could eventually get changed into something comfier.
Then, he’d remove whatever makeup you're wearing, and then tie your hair up —however that may be.
Rafe loves taking care of you, you’re always so stubborn when it comes to him pampering you.
You love the princess treatment, really! But you’re afraid of asking for too much, and Rafe vowed to spend the rest of his life proving to you that there’s no such thing as ‘too much’ with him.
Rafe wants to do all that with you right now, but he knows that you’re startled, frightened even. So he needs to calm down before trying to reach you.
His breathing is uneven, borderline ragged. There’s a slight shake in his hand, and quite frankly, Rafe can’t tell if it’s from sheer rage, or it’s because he can’t handle the thought of scaring you further.
He knocks at the door.
•······················•
There’s a knock at the door.
A gasp rips from your throat, breaking you out of the almost trance that you’re in.
You’re sitting in the bathtub, it’s gross, you’re aware of this. But you’re too shaken up and tipsy to even care.
You just want to be as far away from the door as possible.
“Hey, uh, Dollie? You in here?” You hear it come from the other side of the door, it’s muttered softly.
“S’me, baby.” He continues, although he didn’t need to, because you know that voice like the back of your hand.
“Ray….” You croak, you try to speak more than one singular word, but silence grips your throat.
You can’t seem to move, your joints remain still, but your chest is heaving wildly.
You know you need to get up, you need to unlock the door so Rafe can help you, but your buckled knees keep you grounded at the bottom of the tub.
You open your mouth to speak but only a choked sob escapes.
“Okay, okay. I’ll—I’ll be there in a second, baby.”
Your head leans back on the wall, and you take in your surroundings. You’re in Topper’s bathroom, you can tell because he’s the only one with a bathroom that doesn’t connect to his bedroom.
Kelce must’ve brought you here since it was the closest one. You wonder where Kelce is now.
The sound of the doorknob rattling makes you jump—almost out of your skin.
The door swings open, nearly clashing against the wall. You lock eyes with your boyfriend.
He whispers, “oh Dollie,” and rushes towards you.
Rafe picks your body up out of the tub, and lays you in his lap. Your position similar to a baby being held; Rafe couldn’t help it.
You cried in his arms, despite not wanting to cry in front of him, your resolve had slipped.
This wasn’t your first time having an issue like this, but it had never reached this point before.
Everyone in Kildare County knew you were Rafe’s girl, just like how they knew Rafe was your man, so nobody had dared to go past a few flirty remarks, or even a sly glance.
It was Rafe’s fault, he was sure of it. If he had just found you and took you to the car with him, none of this would’ve happened.
“Don’t do that, Rafe,” you murmur through your sniffles, your voice still holding that rasp from earlier.
“..Do what?”
“Blame yourself. I know that’s what you’re doing, Stop it.” You place a soft hand on his cheek, making you cringe due to all of the surfaces you’ve been touching.
Rafe presses a warm kiss to your temple and caresses your back
There’s a pause, but neither of you mind; the bathroom serving as a temporary solace for you.
You’re rubbing circles on Rafe’s arm while he rests his chin on your head. Whispers are exchanged between the two of you, until you decide that it’d be best to just head home.
Before leaving, though, you make sure Sarah at least has a ride home, for whenever she decides to leave.
You asked Rafe if you could talk to Kelce before leaving, but he refused. Simply stating that you could call him tomorrow.
You pouted at this, but you understand his reasoning, well at least you somewhat could through your haze.
While Rafe’s helping you step down the steps, you see John B walking up.
“Rafe.” John B says, acknowledgingly.
Rafe’s eyes slant, “John B.”
You perk up with a smile, “hi John B!!” You exclaimed with a slur, and with a little too much enthusiasm for Rafe’s liking.”
“Hi, Dollie,” John B smiles at you, and gives you a high-five, making you squeal in your drunken state.
After 10 minutes of Rafe trying to guide you, and you tripping over your own feet, you both finally made it to Rafe’s car.
While he’s buckling you in, Rafe can’t help but think about when you gifted him this car for his birthday.
Well, you picked it out, Ward had actually bought it.
He remembers when you first placed the keys in his hand, you were nearly bouncing in place waiting for his reaction.
Now he’s gotten cars before, in fact, that’s all Ward usually gets him every other birthday besides a watch. But this one, was one you picked out. So he knew he was going to cherish this for the rest of his life.
That same night, you told him about how Ward and you were at the car dealership for hours, since you refused to take any of the cars they originally offered you.
- -
“Y’know I would’ve liked any of ‘em, you didn't have to spend so much time on it. You could’ve gotten me a smoothie, and I think I still would’ve loved it.”
“Woww,” you drag out with a hushed whisper. “You think?”
Rafe poked your side, making you giggle.
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding! But I wanted it to be special.
Couldn’t just pick out any ordinary one. I dunno, I’m surprised you like it so much, since you already have a car and a dirt bike.”
- -
If only you truly knew how much he appreciates everything you do for him.
As soon as Rafe reaches his side of the car and enters, he looks over and sees you slumped back, since he lowered your seat back to get you comfortable.
Your hair’s a bit wild, your lipgloss is almost fully gone, probably from the sweet residue being left on every bottle you’ve touched tonight.
Your mouth is open slightly, and Rafe thinks it’s the cutest thing.
If you found out, he knows you’d be beyond mortified. So, Rafe will just keep this moment locked away for himself.
Honestly, he wishes he could keep you locked away for himself, as selfish as it is.
He can’t help it. You make him whole.
He’s a satellite, and he can’t get back without you.
Because you’re his love; his life.
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strawberry-jackalope · 2 years ago
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Thinking of all the shit I'm committing to now, so early in the semester, hrrk
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deadsetobsessions · 10 months ago
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Your name is Tim Drake and you are nine years old.
Today, tomorrow, and soon, you're going to save Robin.
----
Tim stares at his reflection on the sink tap. It trembles, along with the plane, as he contemplates his situation.
His face is rounder, now, with unfamiliar baby-fat rounding out the sharp lines he'd come to expect. Even with the subpar reflection, Tim can tell that his dark eyebags are all but gone, replaced with youthful skin.
Magic. He's being quite literal, seeing as he's been tossed into the body of his younger self at the hands of a crazed magician.
He could find a way back... or he could create a completely different timeline by fixing everything that went wrong. It's not like he has anything to go back to, anyways. That crazed magician was actually competent and killed everyone he ever cared about. Tim barely got away with his life. He could go back to save that shell of a world- surrounded by people whose minds were broken beyond magical and medical repair- or stay here, fix his own personal troubles and cut off the magician before he could start with his world domination bullshit.
Well, Tim already has an idea of what he wants. So he begins a list, after having oriented himself.
Save Robin
There's no point trying to convince Bruce that he knows where Jason's being held. So, Tim finds himself on a plane to Ethiopia a day before Jason's meant to die. This was long before Barbara even thought of being Oracle, and the tech is ancient in his hands. In short order, nine year old Tim has a trust fund with millions in it, all siphoned from billionaires like Lex Luthor and his own parents.
Tim toddles back to his seat, after washing his hands because he still can't shake the extra bit of paranoia that came with a missing spleen. Oh. Tim blinks guilelessly at his seat neighbor, smiling like Timothy Drake, Angel of a Son as he reels from the realization that he still has his spleen.
Tim adds another box to his list:
Keep Ra's away from my spleen, creepy bastard.
What else...? Ah, the League of Assassins.
Damian
Tim pauses. Holy crap. Damian's only six right now. Tim moves Damian's box upwards in urgency. Tim might have a mildly antagonistic relationship with his younger brother back then, but he wants baby pictures of his siblings, dammit. He's gonna put that photography expertise to good use if it's the last thing he does.
Watch over Z, Owens, Pru
'They're alive!' His mind screams. Cold rationality slaps the sentimentality down with a quick 'But they won't be if I fail.'
His mind wanders to Dick Grayson. He scowls as something pops up in the back of his head.
Catalina Flores
Contact Nightwing- in space
He's gotta call Dick back from that Teen Titans mission, Jason's gonna need all of the support he's going to get.
Find Cass
Train Steph
Save Duke's family from Venom
Tim taps at that last point. He'll save them. But that might mean Duke might never join their family.
But he'll be happy and Tim... will deal with it. He'll be the only one mourning, anyways. To end on a lighter note, he adds something that he should have done ages ago.
Give Tam a raise.
Tim sighs as he gets out of the airport, the hired escort he found and vetted, delivering him to a predetermined hotel. They think his parents are already inside. He laughs and does not say anything to make them think otherwise. He has so many things to do, Tim laments as he settles down to track the Joker's movements. Here. That's where Jason's being held. Being tortured.
He can, however, knock two things off his list in one go. Tim picks up the burner phone he acquired. He doesn't have time, or else he would have done this sooner and saved them all the trouble.
[RR: Are you in Ethiopia yet?]
[Deathstroke: Payment confirmed. In Ethiopia.]
[RR: Third building by the docks.]
An hour.
[Deathstroke: Confirmed. Target spotted.]
Ten minutes.
[Deathstroke: Target eliminated. Bringing Robin to Safehouse.]
Twenty minutes.
[Deathstroke: Basic first aid applied. Leaving.]
[RR: Secondary payment sent. Confirm?]
[Deathstroke: Confirmed. Pleasure doing business with you.]
Tim sprawls on the king bed. He sighs a breath of relief. He'd check on Jason in person, if he weren't paranoid about leaving traces that would get back to him. Tim's pretty sure that Deathstroke's going to get hunted down in the near future, regardless, so he made sure to add a huge tip on top of the extra fees for burning one of Deathstroke's safe houses and the emergency first aid. He taps into the rudimentary camera Deathstroke had given him the access codes to, to stare at Jason's rising and falling chest. On a further table, the Joker's head laid in a preservation box.
He bypasses all of the security on the Teen Titan's tech to send Dick a message.
[Robin has been retrieved from the Joker. Contact Batman for details.]
Then, he sends Bruce the location of the safe house. Tim spends the rest of the day staring at Jason and watching his father in another timeline break as he huddles close to the broken body of Tim's Robin.
Timothy Drake destroys the burner phone.
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bitterrobin · 5 months ago
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look man, I like the interpretations of "eldest sibling Dick Grayson taking care of his younger brothers" and I like the theme of "eldest sibling forced to parent his youngest sibling in the absence of their actual parent" when applied to the 2009 era in some places/circumstances. BUT here's the thing. DICK WAS NOT PARENTING DAMIAN.
Dick didn't even see Damian as his brother for a good stretch of their early interactions. To me that was highlighted perfectly well in Resurrection of Ras al Ghul - Tim is Dick's brother and he believes in him, Damian is not Dick's brother and he's simply a kid who happens to be related to Bruce. And characterization aside, if I'm to believe Tim stans and the comics I've read then yeah, Tim was Dick's little brother that he cared for above a lot of things. They did brotherly things unprompted, they hung out together, Dick offered advice and defended Tim from threats and in arguments.
To that end, when Damian was introduced and made a part of the expanding Batman canon, he was not considered a brother. He was a son, in name only, to Bruce. He cared for the boy, enough to fight Ras, but not nearly enough to take him from the League or just...talk to him? About their roles, about Talia. He just left Damian behind with Talia, assuming that they both knew and understood his intentions to leave them independent. And then once he died, Damian’s fate is left up in the air. We have no idea what he and Talia were doing in the stretch of time between Resurrection and Damian showing up randomly in Battle for the Cowl. Once Damian appeared, it wasn’t a “okay Dick time to parent this child because he’s your sibling” it was “ok Dick time to watch over this crazy kid who you have no connection to besides Bruce because you’re the only adult who can control him/communicate w him.” Dick treated him like an obligation because he’s a kid, but didn’t feel the need to “parent” him because they weren’t family. Damian wasn’t family to any of the people present in the early 2009 era, they didn’t care for him because they liked him or wanted to do right by Bruce (when even Bruce didn’t feel the need to parent him) they watched over him because he was a factor of chaos and displacement. Dick made Damian Robin to have a method of control over him that eventually morphed into a method of mutual trust. Their relationship did grow closer, but as mentor/mentee. Dick held responsibility over Damian as Batman to Robin. Outside of that structure, we aren’t shown Dick taking Damian anywhere just to hang out, giving him advice as a normal person, defending him from villains and fearing for his life. I think Dick’s expressed more concern for the villains Damian fought than Damian himself.
Dick didn’t see him as a brother for most of their Batman and Robin run. His fatherly aspects weren’t even mentioned, until they were retroactively implied in Nightwing 2011 and onward. So, he wasn’t parenting Damian. He wasn’t a teenager being saddled with the responsibility. He was 25-30 year old man looking after a volatile 10 year old kid because no one else wanted to do it. And then once Bruce reappeared, then Damian got a much more explicit father-son relationship and Dick was made into a more brotherly figure. I’m not saying they didn’t eventually get close, but fandom overstates just how much Dick did to care for him, and cut straight to Dick as Damian’s family when their relationship was never that close until the 2011 reboot.
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tlou-reid · 1 year ago
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you found me ✰ spencer reid
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warnings ✰ gunshot, violence, mentions of maeve, hospitals, mentions of death, mentions of religion and god, angst let me know if i missed any please
summary ✰ spencer is the one to reach you after being shot by an unsub
notes ✰ inspired by you found me by the fray. please send requests here. & this is not edited
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spencer wasn't sure what dropped first: him or his gun. he could still hear hotch yelling after him, instructing him to not to go in. first not to go in the black suburban you always made jokes about. then, not to go in the yard of your home spencer had been begging you to move out of. then, not to go in the door of the house that he'd held open for you so many times. now, he could hear hotch's voice telling him not to go in the room, but he sounded like he was underwater. when spencer opened the door he could see morgan holding the unsub to the ground while he got him in cuffs, but, as soon as his knees hit the floor next to your body, everything in his peripherals went blurry.
he knew he should be doing the medical things he learned years ago, back during his training, but he couldn't. he was frozen, unable to do anything but stare at the gunshot wound beneath your left rib. his eyes started to well up with tears as his hands reached out, applying pressure, as if he could stop the bleeding himself.
as soon as his shaky hands landed on your body, all he could think of was maeve. how could he do this again? another person he loved, bleeding to death, all because of him. he felt so selfish. for everything. for moving on from maeve. for falling in love with you. for putting you in this position. for thinking of another woman while you bled out under his hands.
"reid, move," hotch's voice cut through his thoughts. spencer wasn't sure how long he'd been kneeling over you, but it was long enough for medical first responders to get there, get inside, and be ready to take over the job he was failing to do. still, he couldn't bring himself to move from his position. hotch had to pull spencer away, letting the medical team move in and get to work.
despite the tears welling up in his eyes, spencer hadn't starting crying. until now. he was sitting in the floor, with hotch behind him with an arm still wrapped around him when the first sob wracked his body. his whole body jerked as he wailed. hotch didn't know what to do, so he just wrapped his arms around spencer, holding the crying boy to his chest as if spencer was his own son. spencer's bloodied hands reached up to hold hotch's forearms, looking for something to ground himself.
the rest of the day was blurry. time seemed to be moving with super speed, but also not moving at all. spencer felt like a bystander in his own life as he watched them load you into the ambulance. he couldn't move his legs when they asked who was riding with you, so it was prentiss who climbed in, giving him a sad look as they closed the doors.
he rode in that stupid suburban, and neither him nor hotch uttered a word. the ride was completely silent. it wasn't the comforting silence like when you and spencer would sit on the couch, each holding your own book and just enjoying being around each other. this silence was scary. he could feel his heart beat in his temples, his stomach was churning and he couldn't stop tapping his foot. hotch didn't complain about his fidgeting the whole ride to the hospital.
they met prentiss in the waiting room, where she explained that you were in surgery now. there was no update on your state, and the rest of the team was waiting on a phone call from one of you guys to explain what was going on. morgan had called to inform prentiss that the unsub was in custody, and his other victim had passed. spencer didn't say anything in reply. instead, he moved to sit in the chair farthest away from where hotch and prentiss were standing, not wanting to listen to the details of the case.
this case was not one that should have even been on the BAU's radar. the local police knew who the unsub was, they caught him on camera after his first attack. there was no need for a profile, and definitely no need for the BAU to be spending their time on something as simple as a manhunt. until you called. you thought someone had been following you on your walk around the neighborhood, and it was proven that you were right. there was no solid reason why you were the next victim. there was relatively no similarity between you and the other victim, you just happened to be in the wrong place. when his larger frame pressed himself into the door, there was no stopping him. he shot at you, knocking you down, and eventually unconscious, while he looked for anything valuable in the house. spencer didn't know what he was trying to take, and he didn't really care either. all he cared about was you getting better.
one hour turned into two, and then two turned into three. he had somehow convinced prentiss and hotch to leave. he just wanted to be alone, and after a long phone call with garcia, he was. he had started to pace and his thoughts started to wander. he wanted someone, something to blame. sure, this unsub was the one who shot you, but what about the police? the ones who didn't try hard enough to find this guy before he was in your house? what about your neighbors? who weren't keeping an eye on you while you walked, even though you did numerous favors for them? what about him? a law enforcement officer that you were in love with but who wasn't there to protect you?
and lastly, what about God? being a man of science usually kept him from turning to a higher being. but a desperate man will take any chance he can get, and the best word to describe spencer right now was desperate. desperate for you to be okay. desperate for you to make it out of surgery. desperate to be next to you. desperate for someone to blame. so how could God do this? how could he allow something to happen to you? how could he punish spencer after all the good he had been trying to be doing for this world?
his thoughts went wild for what felt like years, but was only a few more hours, before the doctor was coming to get him. "dr. reid?" her voice came into the empty waiting room. his head snapped right to her. "she is out of surgery, she'll be waking up soon. you might want to be in the room when she does."
spencer stomach dropped the way he did earlier. he picked up the sweater vest and tie he had discarded on a waiting room chair and hurried to follow the doctor. when he reached the room, he was shocked at how peaceful you looked. despite all of the noises from the machines, the hospital room was the calmest place he had been in in the last 24 hours. spencer made himself comfortable while he waited for your eyes to flutter open.
and when they did, his eyes were on yours. he couldn't help the smile that spread across your face. it took a few minutes for you to adjust to the room. the noises, the bright lights, the lack of understanding where you were. the last thing you remembered was hitting the ground after having a gun pointed at you. after a few minutes, you turned to face him, "you found me." you smiled, despite the dryness in your throat as you spoke.
"just a little late." spencer shrugged, trying to downplay the guilt that was burrowed in his stomach. he reached forward, rubbing a few fingers along your cheek. "what happened?" you asked, wanting the whole story. spencer explained, leaving out a few parts. you didn't need to know how he couldn't bring himself to help you, or how he cried in hotch's arms, or how many times he had to wash his hands in the hospital's bathroom sink to get your blood off of him.
"that's kinda crazy," you couldn't help but laugh. spencer was mildly uncomfortable at your reaction. "so, when do i get to go home?"
"you don't," spencer begun, "you're moving out, like i have been asking you to." he could see the confusion written across your face. "you're moving in with me, that way i know you'll be safe." he smiled at you, excited at the idea. he had been wanting this for a while. "now get some rest," he said with a gentle tone, "i'll find us something to eat." despite the fact that he hadn't eaten in almost a day, he waited for you to be asleep to leave the room.
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rewrittenwrongs · 5 months ago
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Having thoughts about the League of Assassins. It’s pretty common among them to form hierchy/ranking around who’s a better fighter and who beat/killed who. I can’t remember if it’s canon but I like the idea that to prove your teacher has taught you all they have to teach you must kill them (not sure how that applies to history/math/whatever but. Moving on.) Working off of that idea, a lot of assassins in the organisation would already respect Tim for causing the death/defeat of the Council of Spiders; assassins that are so skilled they kill other assassins for fun. Him then TRICKING RA’S AL GHUL AND BLOWING UP (almost??) ALL OF HIS BASES, AND THEN OUTSMARTING HIM AGAIN WHEN HE TRIES TO DESTROY EVERYTHING BATMAN HAS BUILT, I feel like it’s reasonable to assume a lot of them would’ve decided Tim is the bigger threat or at least proved himself very formidable and a large threat. I imagine a lot of them would’ve sought him out in Gotham and pledged loyalty to him (kind of like Minions seeking out the evilest leader thanks for that thought brain), maybe doing full on traditional rituals to prove the transferring of their loyalty, like blood oaths or ritual spars idk, maybe giving him gifts or displaying their skills so he accepts them as allies rather than being disrespected and killing or maiming them since that’s the standard they expect in the League.
And Tim is uh. Very confused. Very surprised. And also trying hard not to show it. He accepts all the gifts and pledges and shit, because he sure as fuck ain’t gonna turn them back to Ra’s, but after that he doesn’t really know what to do with them. He hires a bunch of them at Wayne Enterprise and Drake Industries, tasks a bunch of them with working for Red Hood on the down low, maybe sends a couple on undercover missions to Arkham Asylum so they start treating inmates as actual human beings and stop using shock therapy or something, and makes sure to write them all up fair contracts and great pay with good work bonuses and plenty of leave, and makes sure most or all of them start going to therapy. The assassins love their new leader and would do practically anything for him.
But anyway, all that aside. I’ve had those thoughts in my head for more than a month. Something that just recently occurred to me is Mara al Ghul. Damian’s cousin. Another child raised by the League of Assassins, only this one never left.
Until, that is, she watches this freshly-immunocompromised vigilante arguably outsmart her grandfather twice, and decides he is the bigger threat, actually, I want to be on his good side when he takes over the world.
So now Tim is being forced into basically adopting this feral child, who’s only experience in American society was undercover missions to kill people, who thinks decapitated heads are reasonable gifts, who’s introduction to Tim was something batshit insane like dumping the Joker’s head in his lap because the Joker is Gotham’s most dangerous rogue and of course Tim will appreciate having him gone. But even with a well crafted facade she can tell Tim is unnerved and horrified, so she must be doing something wrong. Maybe it was because the Joker is Batman’s enemy and not Tim’s specifically? But Tim doesn’t have any arch nemesis aside from maybe Ra’s who she obviously can’t kill, so she does more research into Tim’s life and background and finds out Captain Boomerang killed his father so next she brings Tim HIS head and she can already tell he’s much more pleased this time. But there’s still that edge of unsettlement and wariness, and he’s acting so strange around her, so she digs deeper and finds out about the Titans Tower incident but Tim sent all these other assassins to work for red hood so they must be on good terms, and then she finds out about all the bad blood between him and Damian and Dick so she starts trying to kill them next, starting with Damian obviously (a mix of jealousy over him leaving the league and a good amount of cousin rivalry/cain instinct), but Tim stops the fight and tells her to stand down and now she’s scared that he’s going to punish her and Ra’s’ punishments were always so harsh and perhaps this time she can’t quite fight down the urge to hide.
Meanwhile, Tim is being dragged through a parent arc kicking and screaming, the bats are wondering why the hell there are suddenly so many assassins only after they scare off Ra’s, Jason is more or less vibing because he thinks the assassins are from Talia and the Joker’s dead so of course he’s ecstatic (even tho he wishes he knew who did it so he can thank them), Dick and Damian are still reeling from learning Bruce is alive/getting him back from the time stream when all of a sudden this masked child comes out of nowhere mid patrol and attacks Damian, and isn’t backing down even though Dick arrived quickly but when Red Robin arrives and yells stop she’s already three rooftops away by the time he’s done speaking. Everyone is tired and doesn’t know what the hell is going on except mayybe Oracle.
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sunlitsighs · 2 months ago
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i lost my 50/50 to yanqing and then i got desperate despite the fact that i cant build characters for shit so it doesnt matter if i get feixiao or not anyway so i bought the star rail pass as a “birthday treat” aha
i need to get feixiao but i am too busy being anxious abt assignments to log in to hsr this is terrible
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warthogreporter · 22 days ago
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So I was just going about my day when I came across a magnificent falcon, it looked injured so I carefully got it to a safe spot to recover while I tended to it since there were no professionals nearby.
Good news, the falcon was actually the god Ra and I will be rewarded for my act of kindness.
Bad news, you know how some birds will take humans petting them and such as a sign of romance. I didn't before this. Well uh, that applies to Ra when he's a falcon it turns out. Help.
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astra-ravana · 2 months ago
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Cat Magick 🐈‍⬛
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What is cat magick? Well it's no secret that cats have been beloved by witches for centuries, perhaps longer and it isn't hard to see why. They were worshipped in ancient Egypt, helped fight the plague by killing infected rats, and were even tortured and killed along side us in the witch trials. These powerful, intelligent, little creatures understand magick better than perhaps any other. After all, legend says that cats are really just witches in disguise. As such, they possess their own potent class of magick.
Cat Correspondences
Herbs: Catnip, cat grass, silver vine, thyme, basil, valerian, fern leaf yarrow, cat thyme, rosemary, sage, witch hazel, echinacea, licorice root, cat's claw, dandelion root, calendula, goldenseal, dill (all these herbs are cat safe)
Crystals: Mookaite, amethyst, cat's eye, turquoise, hematite, lepidolite, pink Botswana agate, lapis lazuli, fluorite, tiger's eye, emerald, rutilated quartz, black tourmaline, jade
Planets: The Moon, Saturn, Pluto
Element: Earth/spirit
Deities: Bast, Freyja, Diana, Hekate, Odin, Lilith, Artemis, Sekhmet, Parvati, Juno, Ra, Erishkegal
Abilities
• A cat can purr at a frequency between 25 and 50 hz, which has been show to relieve stress and pain, increase oxytocin production, heal wounds and injuries, and even repair broken bones.
• They can enter a meditative state whenever they like which makes them incredibly perceptive.
• Cats see/sense spirits, the Fae, auras, and all manner of energies.
• Natural generators that can lend their energy to spell work and divination as well as charge crystals/magickal tools just by touch.
• Cats can expand your auric field and increase your magickal output.
• They act as guardians against negative energy and malevolent forces.
• The only beings that can enter or leave a magick circle without breaking the energy field.
• Cats act as guardians of doorways and thresholds and are keepers of many spiritual secrets.
• They have a strong connection to the Moon and the powers of the night.
• Your cat can act as your anchor/tether while hedge-riding/astral projecting.
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Cat Colors
Brown: Grounding, love, companionship, peace
Orange: Cheer, leadership, happiness, fun, Sun energy
White: Purity, bliss, peace, good luck, psychic boost
Grey: Hope, support, comfort, healing
Calico: Good fortune, relationships, prosperity, abundance, psychic ability, strengthens family
Two Tone: Friendships, harmony, warding, wisdom
Striped: Good luck, happiness
Siamese: Success, good health, longevity
Note: If using cat hair in a working, consider the color of the animal it came from and apply those properties.
Black Cats
• They represent witches and witchcraft, magick, the Moon, protection, prosperity, the in-between/thresholds, dark goddess energy, the night, mystery, independence, resilience, and cleverness.
• If a black cat crosses your path they're removing danger and blessing your way.
• If you see a black cat on your way to gamble, luck is on your side.
• To catch a thief, write their name on a fish skin and feed it to a black cat.
• If you see a large, black cat for seven days money is on its way to you.
• To get away with something, wrap your name paper around black cat hair and burn it with yellow rose petals on a Friday.
Black Cat Oil
This oil is great for protection, good luck, seduction, breaking curses/hexes, working with the dead, divination and more.
Recipe:
• Sage
• Bay leaves
• Myrrh
• Mugwort
• Dragon's blood
• Steel wool
• Lodestone dust
• Hair (or whisker) from a black cat
• Carrier oil
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The Power Of Cat Whiskers
Naturally shed cat whiskers are one of the most potent spell compents you can get. These tiny treasures contain a ton of magickal energy and can be used in the following ways:
• Carrying a cat whisker brings great luck and helps you easily overcome obstacles.
• To see your desires manifest, whisper your wish to a cat whisker and burn it over a yellow, gold, or orange candle.
• Hold a cat whisker in your hand while hedge-riding for a safe journey.
• Boosts the power and potency of any spell.
• Burn with jasmine and mugwort to bring prophetic dreams.
Whisker Appearance:
• The whisker length is said to reflect how long the spell will last.
• A very long whisker will aid in a long term goal and a short whisker; a short term goal.
• White whiskers aid in purification, healing, purity, empowerment, and luck.
• Black whiskers protect from bad energy and can be used for binding magick, spiritual power, and baneful workings.
• A grey/blue whisker represents neutrality, deities, shielding, patience, and resolve.
• Orange/copper whiskers bring success, strength, joy, truth, and encouragement.
• Banded whiskers assist with stability, physicality, love, comfort and peace.
Miscellaneous Cat Magick
There's a lot more magick to cats than I could ever cover here but here are some more examples of cat magick:
• Use cat hair in shape-shifting rituals.
• Burn a cat shaped candle and carve runes/sigils/prayers into it to protect and empower your cat.
• Feeding your cat the last of your meal keeps them from running away/getting lost.
• Bringing your cat/cats to a new home first brings good luck.
• Naturally shed cat claws can be used in spells for getting out of a tight situation. In baneful magick they help your curse "grab on" to the target and brings them sudden agony.
• Stroking a cat's tail nine times brings good luck in love.
• Hang a protective charm such as a bell, pentagram, or cowrie shell from your cat's collar.
• If a cat licks itself against the grain, a storm is coming.
• If the same cat comes to your window, three nights in a row, a witch has cast a spell on you.
• To learn the answer to a question, ask your cat while they sit on one side of a doorway. If the cat walks through the door with their left paw, the answer is no, with their right paw, the answer is yes.
• Incorporate catnip into your workings to draw your cat and borrow their power.
• You can divinate based on cat sightings/behavior, this is called ailuromancy.
• August 17th is 'Cat Night', a sentiment that has its roots in Celtic legend. A witch could turn into a cat eight times, but upon the ninth transformation, they would stay a cat forever. This is the reason we say cats have nine lives. Honor/celebrate your cats on this day and leave food for strays at night.
• A protective blessing for cats: "Bast of beauty and of grace, protector of the feline race, shield [cat's name] from hurt and harm, and keep them always safe and warm, watch over them from day to day, and guide them home if they should stray, grant them love and happiness, and a life free of strife or stress".
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elliesbelle · 1 year ago
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nobody compares to you
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chapter 11
pairing: ellie x reader
synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?
content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, descriptions of alcohol and underage drinking, mentions of homophobic slurs, descriptions of marijuana use, men being creepy in general, drama between exes, descriptions of an anxiety attack, mentions of nausea and vomiting, minors do not interact
word count: 10.2k
chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen
series masterlist
my masterlist
i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎
the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist
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Freshman Year, Fall
You’d never been to a college party, much less a frat party. The extent of your knowledge was taught by cheesy and likely inaccurate movies where all the characters were all played by 30-year-olds pushing 40. But after the shit show that was your senior year of high school, you were looking forward to celebrating your newfound freedom through underage drinking and close-quartered gyrating.
Your roommate's name was Tara Maclay, a honey-blonde tomboy who wore baggy clothing and had a foul but amusing mouth. Your first few days involved polite conversation and awkward apologies when you’d accidentally invade the other’s personal space. However, after a late night of deep conversation, you’d discovered that you were both lesbians and felt a friendship click almost immediately.
During yet another freshman orientation, this time for your dorm held by your RAs in one of the lounges, you’d both befriended a few other girls who also resided in your building, Wilson Valley. The first you’d met was a girl named Astrid. She was tall, skinny, and had long black & blonde braids that swayed gracefully every time she moved. You couldn’t help but notice the way Tara eyed her, nudging her playfully to break her out of her slack-jawed loser lesbian stupor.
Astrid had greeted you both sweetly and introduced you to a couple more girls she’d already met: Sidney and Rebecca, who happened to live right in the same hall as you and Tara. Astrid mentioned she had a roommate as well, who couldn’t come to the meeting. You vaguely recalled she said her name was Dina.
After your RAs ended the meeting and dismissed the rest of the residents, your newfound group lingered in the lounge. You continued to chat lightly about nonsensical topics like new classes and room assignments and the campus until Rebecca mentioned a party being thrown the next night.
“My roommate Kristen mentioned that this frat is having a ‘Start of the Year’ party or something tomorrow!” She said, settling into one of the ratty couches. “Not sure if you guys would be interested in that, but I thought that would be cool to go to, even just for the experience.”
Tara grimaced before saying, “An excuse for asshole, predatory frat guys to prey on freshman girls?”
“Could maybe still be fun, though,” Astrid mused. “Nice excuse to get fucked up and all.”
“Well, I guess the free booze isn’t so bad.” Tara quickly said, changing her tune instantly. You chuckled quietly at her.
“What’s the frat?” You asked.
“Uhh,” Rebecca pondered for a moment. “I think… Sigma… something? I honestly don’t remember. I’ll ask Kristen later.”
“All of them just sound the same anyway,” Sidney shrugged, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the carpeted floor next to the couch. “I’m totally up for it if you guys go, though. Good way to be social. I don’t really have friends around here just yet.”
You turned towards her.
“We’re all your friends, so you do now.” You said, smiling at her.
Sidney returned your smile with a wide one of her own.
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You’d already set out your desired outfit on your bed for the Sigma Eta party when you sat by your desk, applying your makeup. Behind you, Tara was clumsily rummaging through her clothes, cursing under her breath as she kept changing her mind about her party attire.
“What the fuck do you even wear to frat parties, dude?” She said, throwing yet another unfolded, creased shirt into her dresser.
“Honestly, I don’t really know. I’ve mostly gone to high school theatre cast parties, and I don’t think those really count as real parties.” You replied, lightly brushing a small spoolie through one of your eyebrows.
“Am I supposed to look fucking nice, or—?”
“Just be yourself!” You jokingly said.
Through your makeup mirror, you saw Tara give you an annoyed grimace in the reflection. You laughed.
“That’s stupid ass advice.” She groaned in frustration.
“Sorry!” You apologized in jest. “I mean, you’re not really there to attract guys. Don’t have to be all dressed up and all if you don’t want to be.”
“You’re getting all dressed the fuck up.” Tara pointed out, motioning towards your outfit on the bed.
“I just like looking nice,” You shrugged. “Just for myself, not really for anyone else. Like I said, you don’t have to get all dressed up if you don’t want to. Unless there’s someone you’re trying to impress.”
“I mean, I didn’t say that…” She grumbled, almost indiscernible underneath her breath.
“Oh?” You said, momentarily pausing your makeup routine to turn towards her with an eyebrow raised. “Why? Is there a certain someone you wanna look good for?” You inquired.
Tara refused to meet your inquisitive eyes as she fidgeted with another shirt’s buttons between her hands.
“I knew it!” You laughed, pointing the makeup brush you held in your hand towards her. “You like Astrid!”
“No, I fucking do not!” Tara responded defensively.
“You have a crush on Astrid,” You said in a sing-song voice. “You have a crush on Astrid!”
“Shut the fuck up, dude!”
“You think she’s pretty, you want her to have your babies!” You continued to sing, cackling as you turned back to your desk to resume your eye makeup.
“I will physically fight you, you dick!” Tara warned noncommittally.
“Save all those kinky threats for your new girlfriend.” You chuckled as you effortlessly blended two shades of eyeshadow with one another.
“Ugh,” She groaned as she flopped down on her bed. “She’s so fucking straight though. Like, painfully fucking straight. Like, not just heterosexual. Barbie heterosexual.”
“First of all,” You said as you set down the makeup brush in your hand to grab your setting spray. “Barbie is so gay, so that point is useless.”
“Barbie is not fucking gay, man.” Tara argued.
“Barbie is a lesbian with comphet and Ken is her lavender marriage boyfriend,” You disagree, fanning your freshly sprayed face. “Secondly, Astrid is one hundred percent a dyke too.”
“Did you fucking see her, dude?”
“Yes, I did. I have eyes, Tara.”
“Yes, I do too.”
“But not a good enough gaydar though, it looks like.”
“What the fuck!”
“Trust me, Tara,” You said, turning towards her once more to look her straight in the eyes. “There is not a single straight bone in that girl’s body, I guarantee it. If you weren’t so busy checking her out before, you would have noticed it too. Might have even noticed that she was also checking you out.”
“Wait. Hold the fuck up, seriously?” Tara said, perking up for a second before suddenly looking nervous.
“Dude, this is no time to be a fucking pussy! She’s really pretty and seems to like you back. Just get to know her tonight!”
“You think she’s pretty?” She asked.
“I mean, yeah, of course. She is gorgeous.” You admit. “But you’re okay, I’m not competition. She’s not my type, trust me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, kind of discovered after my last relationship that I’m more into like, masc and butch lesbians.”
“Oh?” Tara said intriguingly, abandoning her search for appropriate clothing to take a seat on her bed. “How do you mean exactly?”
“Well,” You said, twirling your eyeliner pen in between your fingers as you turned in your chair to face her again. “My ex-girlfriend was a little bit more feminine than masculine. And I mean, I guess I was attracted to her in different kinds of ways, but I think that I was drawn more to her personality than her looks.”
You sighed before continuing.
“Which, obviously, I think is very important, but I also believe that you’ve gotta be physically attracted to who you’re with too, you know? Not in a shallow way or anything. But I don’t think I really ever felt that click with her, even at the start. It was just another unrealistic expectation I had of her that ultimately cemented the end of our relationship.”
Tara hummed in understanding.
“So why masculine lesbians, then? I’m just curious as someone who presents more as masculine but who tends to like more feminine girls.” She asked.
You pondered her question for a few moments, considering your response.
“There’s just… I don’t know, there’s just something so bold and alluring about a woman who completely rejects femininity in every possible way. We’re all expected to fill that role of being gentle and ladylike, and I think it’s just so attractive when a girl openly says ‘fuck you’ to that and presents the way she actually wants to, not the way the rest of the world expects of her. I love it when women are exclusively masculine, almost like they’re showing men how it’s supposed to be done. I think it’s just so hot and charming and sexy.”
“Ooh, so you think I’m sexy and shit?” Tara teases, wiggling her eyebrows at you as you conclude your mini-speech.
“No, you’re way too much of a loser lesbian who can’t even tell the difference between a straight girl and a femme lesbian.”
“Hey, not too fucking much now!” Tara said indignantly.
You laughed loudly before going back to applying your winged eyeliner.
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A few moments later, you heard a knock followed by Astrid, Rebecca, and her roommate Kristen after you shouted that your door was unlocked. Kristen, a short and perky girl with her dirty blonde hair up in two long pigtails, introduced herself and said that her friend Mina was also tagging along later on, in addition to two other people she didn’t mention.
It was incredibly amusing to you how red and flustered Tara became as a result of Astrid’s sudden appearance. You even felt a little bit giddy yourself when Astrid graciously offered to help pick out an outfit for Tara to wear for tonight’s party.
It wasn’t long after the three girls arrived that Sidney joined the rest of your group, having done herself up a bit as well in a short, pink dress and pieces of curly hair styled to fall from her space buns. You all enthusiastically complimented her and hyped her up, to which she blushed.
You were the last one to finish getting ready, the rest of your new friends every now and again watching you finish your makeup routine as they all chatted animatedly. They all gawked in awe at the way you’d artistically dolled up your face, Kristen commenting that Michaelangelo couldn’t have painted colours the way you did your eyeshadow (to which you humourously and geekily remark that he was more of a sculptor than a painter). The girls all loudly squealed at how expertly you applied your fake eyelashes within mere seconds, you chuckling to yourself at how easily amused they seemed to be.
As all the girls began to pre-game with a bottle of Bacardi spiced rum Kristen had brought, you threw on the rest of your outfit: a long-sleeved, lacy and see-through white top with a black bra underneath, a black mini-skirt with side pockets, and your favourite knee-high black boots. You joined in the drinking festivities before Astrid checked the time and her messages then suggested you all head out to meet Kristen’s friend Mina and head towards the Sigma Eta party.
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You all squeezed into a rickety, old elevator located in the middle of the hallway and headed down to the first floor of your building. As the elevator doors opened up to the lobby, Kristen broke off from the rest of the group when she spotted another girl waiting with two guys by the front doors. Kristen squealed happily and gave her a tight hug before introducing her friend to the rest of you.
Mina was a girl with short kinky blonde hair that reached just above her shoulders. She wore a white halter top with dark blue jeans accompanied by black pumps. To her left was a short, brown-haired guy with a plain, blue button-down and a pair of salmon-coloured shorts; to her right was a tall, dark-haired boy wearing an orange Hawaiian shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans.
“Good evening, fellow freshman cuties,” Mina said before gesturing to her hand to her own company, introducing them respectively. “This is Fred, and this is Jesse.”
The two boys smiled and nodded in greeting.
“Mina’s brother actually used to be in the fraternity that’s throwing the party we’re going to tonight before he graduated last year.” Kristen explained to your group.
“Yeah, Fred here is a friend of my brother’s. He was the one who told me about the party.” Mina added.
“Oh, that was really nice of you.” Astrid said, giving Fred a polite smile. He smiled back, not before eyeing her keenly up and down.
“Thought I’d introduce Mina to college life the proper way.” Fred replied cockily, patting Mina hard on the back in a brotherly fashion. Mina rolled her eyes.
“Let’s head out, chicas!” Kristen announced, beckoning your large group towards and out the front doors.
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The trip to the Sigma Eta frat house wasn’t very long, but it felt like it to you at the beginning. Tara had broken off from your side when she was able to garner enough courage and nervously converse with Astrid, who was chatting back animatedly while ignoring Fred’s futile attempts to flirt with her. Kristen and Mina were enthusiastically catching up with each other, and Rebecca, who noticed Sidney’s shy and reserved demeanour, began kindly engaging her in a conversation to help her open up and get to know her. This left you to yourself for a while.
You were excited to be branching out socially and making friends, but it was difficult not to feel like you were out of your league in this rather abundant group of acquaintances. Being accustomed to smaller circles of friends and having gone through a recent ordeal with former friends, you weren’t quite sure how to politely insert yourself without seeming like a burden or nuisance.
The other guy Mina had brought along, Jesse, seemed to notice your silent predicament. He was a tall, muscular Asian man who had jet-black hair and kind eyes. You and your friends were approaching a nearby bus stop when he first spoke to you.
“So, this is your first real party, huh?”
You almost jumped, surprised that someone was speaking to you.
“Oh! Umm, yeah,” You responded sheepishly. “Is it really that obvious?”
“A little, but it’s alright,” He chuckled. “I’m Jesse, by the way. What was your name again?”
You smiled meekly as you introduced yourself.
“I’ll be sure to remember that.” He said with a friendly, assuring grin.
You weren’t sure what it was about this guy Jesse, what it was about him that made you like him instinctively. Men generally made you feel uncomfortable, and you almost never had any guy friends. But something in your gut was telling you that he was genuine, someone you could trust.
“So do you go to these kinds of frat parties a lot?” You asked in an attempt to be social.
“Sometimes,” Jesse replied. “Don’t really like this specific frat we’re going to, but I’m supposed to be helping this friend of mine link up with some guy who’ll be there. Do you smoke pot?”
“Why do you ask? Are you a cop?” You joked.
“Oh, absolutely. That is precisely why I am tagging along with a bunch of underage freshmen to a booze-filled shitty, frat party as someone who is also currently underage.” He chuckled.
You smiled at him.
“Yeah, I smoke,” You eventually replied. “I don’t really have a solid plug out here just yet though.”
“Well, my friend is a dealer and the guy we’re meeting up with tonight actually grows nearby, so we’re gonna see if my friend can work with him. She needs to procure some more fresh ‘merchandise’ or whatever.” He said, making air quotes upon saying the word ‘merchandise.’ “If you’re looking for a regular plug, I can introduce you to her later.”
“That’d be perfect, honestly,” You replied. “Don’t know how I’ll be able to get through freshman year of college without the influence of drugs.”
“Trust me, I get it,” Jesse said. “I had to make do with second-rate dealers as a freshman last year ‘cause my old dealer back home is obviously far away. Everyone around here either charges way too much or their shit is completely dry and weak.”
“Damn,” You replied. “But you think your friend’s got better connections?”
“Well, we’re going to see. But she’s real great about finding good strains and shit. Hopefully, things work out tonight.”
“I hope so too. I don’t wanna try and find another dealer out here, and then it turns out they’re creepy or something. And I trust you and your faith in your friend.”
“Yeah?” Jesse said curiously. “That’s very nice of you.”
You shrugged and gave him a warm smile.
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The rest of the trip to the Sigma Eta house was much more enjoyable now that you seemed to find a friend in Jesse. You clicked instantly with him: discussing where you were both from, what your majors were, what there was to do around and outside of the campus. He even gave you tips on how to navigate college as a freshman, having gone through it himself already the previous year. It comforted you that this person you’d just met already seemed adamant about looking out for you in a friendly, platonic manner.
As your group walked down the sidewalk that led to multiple houses where other college students resided, you spotted bright, strobing lights coming from a house towards the end of the street. The sounds of loud party music and boisterous chatter grew louder the further down you ventured. You finally came up to a house where several cars were haphazardly and crookedly parked out front and an assortment of other college kids loitered around the porch, most holding red solo cups filled to the brim.
Before you all stepped foot onto the front porch of the house, Astrid suddenly stopped and turned around to face the whole group.
“Hey, can we take a quick pic of all of us attending our first-ever college party? I wanna capture the memory of getting fucked up with my new dorm besties!” She gushed excitedly.
“You know, this actually isn’t my first college party.” Kristen chuckled, but Mina nudged her in the ribs.
“You know what she means, you killjoy. Come on, let’s all take a selfie!”
All the girls gathered together and began to link arms or embrace each other around the waist or drape their arms over each other’s shoulders. You turned towards Jesse, who was texting rapidly on his phone.
“So, selfie time?” You asked him.
“Nah, you guys go ahead. I think I’m gonna go find my friend inside ‘cause I’m pretty sure she’s here already. Plus I don’t wanna get in the way of you and your friends.”
“You’re my friend too,” You asserted boldly. “Come here and get in the picture with us, new friend.”
Jesse flashed you a warm smile and relented without any further argument.
Astrid held up her phone at a 45-degree angle towards the starry, night sky, angling it so she could get the whole group in the frame (except for Fred, whom she made very little effort to include in the picture, him standing at the edge of the group and desperately trying to have his face captured as well). You and Jesse stood right next to each other, and you allowed yourself to put a hand behind his back in an almost half-hug. You let out a partly genuine smile as Astrid said “Cheese!” and snapped a few photos of your group. After she sent the pictures to you and the rest of the girls in a mass group text (which she then promptly named “Wilson Crew ❤️‍🔥” after the dorm you were all living in), you and your new friends finally ventured into the Sigma Eta frat house.
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The deafening noise of terrible EDM and the smell of sweat that filled the thick air was almost enough to make you regret coming out. But the rest of your group tittered in anticipation, so you feigned excitement as you all ventured further into the house.
You entered the dining room where a long, wooden table had been turned into a small, makeshift beer-pong court. There were several people gathered around it, whether as spectators or players. You watched as a girl in a ponytail whooped after she effortlessly bounced a ping-pong ball onto the table and into a red solo cup on her opponent’s side. Several bystanders cheered in response as a frat guy on the other side of the table cursed in jest and promptly chugged from the cup.
“Dina!” Astrid mused excitedly, approaching the girl. She gave her a tight hug, which the girl named Dina affectionately returned.
Dina was an incredibly pretty girl with tan skin and black, wavy hair. Beneath thick, dark eyebrows were a pair of beautiful brown eyes that looked extremely warm and welcoming. Being Astrid’s roommate, it’d have been an obvious guess that she was a freshman too like the rest of you. But she exuded this air of boldness and spunk that made it seem like she was a vetted college student. You noticed that several onlookers, mostly men, had been eyeing her shiftily and curiously.
“I thought you said you weren’t coming!” Astrid scolded her playfully.
“Well, I honestly wasn’t, but a friend of mine had been trying to persuade me to come and—” Dina began before breaking off suddenly.
Her eyes had wandered towards your group of friends and fell on Jesse who was standing right next to you. The wide smile on her face faltered as her animated expression turned into one of shocked recognition. You turned towards Jesse who had suddenly gone rigid and stone-faced. You looked back at the girl Dina who blinked back to reality and began to stutter.
“I-I’m g-gonna catch up with you later, okay?” She said to Astrid before making her way towards the back of the house.
“Ah, shit,” You heard Jesse mutter under his breath. “Goddamn it.”
“You know her?” You questioned him.
“That… was my ex-girlfriend Dina. Childhood and high school sweetheart.” He explained.
“Oh, shit.” You uttered.
“Hey, I’m… I’m gonna be right back, okay?” He said to you before quickly heading towards the direction that Dina had gone in.
You watched as he left you behind with your friends who began to gossip amongst themselves curiously about the exchange that had just occurred.
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You’d been standing in the kitchen by yourself for the past five minutes, attempting to finish a drink in your hand that you’d reluctantly poured from an orange cooler on the counter. After they’d downed a couple of shots, the rest of the girls had tried to convince you to come to the basement where the dancing was primarily taking place. You declined and said that you needed a minute or two, promising you’d find them later. Though it was still relatively early in the evening, you were already feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. You’d been faking plenty of smiles and forcing tight-lipped laughter all night; it was getting more tiring to feign excitement, especially now that the new friend you’d made tonight had not made a reappearance since quickly running after his ex-girlfriend.
Sighing, you refilled your red solo cup with the same unknown alcoholic contents from the cooler. You weren’t particularly enjoying the drink, completely confused as to what it was in the first place, but it was at least giving you something to do. As you continued to sip from your cup, you decided to venture towards the backyard where you figured Jesse had walked off.
Squinting past the darkness illuminated by the moonlight and the strobing lights peeking through the house’s windows, you scanned the numerous figures occupying the grassy lawn. You eventually spotted Jesse’s tall, dark silhouette after a minute or two, seeing that he was in a seemingly heated discussion with the pretty girl Dina. Deciding that this was a lover’s quarrel that you probably shouldn’t get in between, you find your tired, aching feet take you back inside the house.
You felt the temperature change back from brisk chilliness to throbbing heat from the pheromones in the musky air. Unsure of where to go, you walked back to the kitchen where you found a couple pressed up against each other in the spot you previously occupied. You grimaced at their pre-coital positioning and how they seemed to be swallowing each other’s faces before retreating from the room. Having no interest in watching the new round of beer-pong that several people had started again in the dining room, you settled for finding sanctuary elsewhere.
Finding an empty spot on a wall in the living room, you leaned up against it and took a generous sip from your cup. Though you didn’t have high expectations beforehand, the night was still going quite poorly. You cursed yourself silently for not having a sufficient social battery to socialize with your friends at the party nor enough courage to endure your overwhelming surroundings. You were contemplating whether you should rejoin the group after all in their close-quartered gyrating in the basement when you suddenly felt an invisible pull from across the room that called to you and compelled your head to instinctively turn in its direction.
Your eyes simultaneously met a pair of ocean green ones. The sounds of terrible music and overlapping chitchat immediately vanished when you saw her. You watched as her eyes scanned your face just as you scanned hers. The handsome stranger began to look you up and down before the left corner of her lips turned up in a crooked smile. Your cheeks burned in bashfulness and you tore your eyes away from her to stare at the ground and take another sip from your drink.
You felt your throat close up, your breathing hitch, and your entire body going up in flames. It felt as if someone had shot you through the chest with an arrow, aiming for and perfectly hitting where your heart was located. You felt utterly bare and naked in front of all these strangers, suddenly prey to a strange emotion that felt completely foreign to you. It was intoxicating, like you were completely wonderstruck within seconds of being in this stranger’s presence.
When you eventually felt her eyes wander elsewhere, you dared glance at her once more. She was incredibly handsome: her auburn hair partly tied up in a bun, cheeks adorned with freckles as if an angel had hand-painted them itself, broad shoulders that suggested a muscular frame underneath an old, brown motorcycle jacket she was wearing. She was sitting on this ratty old couch, manspreading in the middle as she noncommittally nodded at the people standing beside her. Her slender, long fingers were expertly wrapping a few rolling papers on the table in front of her. As she brought a joint up to her lips to lick it closed, her eyes flicked up once again to look at you. Embarrassed that you were caught shamelessly staring, you quickly focused your gaze in a different direction. From the corner of your eyes, you could see her chuckling.
The girl muttered something to her nearby companions before making her way across the room to you. Your drumming heartbeat echoed each of her steps, getting louder and louder in your chest the closer she got. You didn’t allow yourself to look her way again until she was right in front of you.
“Hey.” She said, voice rough and husky.
“Hi.” You responded, trying not to sound too flustered over this extremely attractive stranger approaching you to engage in conversation.
“You all alone tonight?” She asked.
“Not exactly,” You responded truthfully. “My friends are around here somewhere.”
“Oh?” She said, cocking her head slightly to the side as she crossed her arms.
“Yeah. I think downstairs, humping and gyrating with everyone else.” You joked.
She chuckled.
“Not your type of thing?”
“Not really,” You said. “I wasn’t in the mood tonight to get felt up by some horny frat guy trying to shove his limp-dick boner up against my ass.”
The girl let out a genuine laugh accompanied by a toothy grin.
“You’re funny.” She commented. You returned her smile with one of your own.
“Wanna come sit on the couch?” She asked. “You honestly look like you’re about to collapse at any second.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t really the best idea to wear a really nice pair of high heels to some crappy fraternity party.”
“Well, hey, they look good on you, so not a total loss.”
“Yeah?” You questioned, lifting an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” She smirked. “Anyway, come sit with me on this ugly ass couch. I promise I won’t try to shove my dick up your ass or anything.”
“Aww, you’re not? I was going to say yes, but if you’re not gonna shove your dick up my ass...” You teased boldly.
Even under the dim lights of the party, you thought you saw traces of pink appear underneath her freckles as she smiled. You felt your own cheeks burning.
“Come on, pretty girl.” She chuckled, leading you towards the sofa.
She sat back down in the middle but didn’t manspread this time to make room for you to sit comfortably next to her. Her body faced towards your direction, indicating to her companions that she was disinterested in any further conversation with them. Both your hands gripped onto your red solo cup tightly like it was your life-saving anchor. Your body tensed up from being so close to this handsome stranger whose name you didn’t even know yet.
Almost as if she read your mind, she introduced herself.
“I’m Ellie.”
You smiled nervously as you gave her your name.
“So,” She began. “You a freshman too, huh?”
“Yeah,” You hummed. “First ever college party.”
“Oh?” She said, reaching for one of her joints on the table.
“Mhmm,” You respond. “Not really as exciting as people have been making it out to be.”
“What, you’re not impressed by the repulsive smell of jungle juice and shitty trap music and the giant, sweaty orgy going on in the basement?”
“Eww,” You giggled, scrunching up your nose in disgust. “No, I wouldn’t really say that I’m impressed, exactly.”
Ellie chuckled before offering you the joint she was holding.
“You smoke?”
“Yeah, I do. But are you sure? I don’t wanna waste your weed.”
“I never mind smoking out pretty girls for free every now and again.” Ellie shrugged.
You ignored the way your heart fluttered as you placed your cup down and took the joint from her. You ignored the sudden, electric spark when you felt her skin brush against yours. You ignored how her own breathing seemed to hitch at that same moment before she pulled away from you to grab her lighter from a front pocket of her motorcycle jacket.
You placed the joint in between your lips, trying not to think about the fact that Ellie’d just sealed it a minute or two ago with her tongue. Ellie cupped her left hand around the tip while her right hand flicked on the lighter. Your eyes wandered from the budding flame to her eyes, which were already watching you. Her stare caught you off-guard that you almost forgot to inhale. You leaned away from her, both to blow the smoke in a different direction and to nervously catch your breath from how intimately close she was to you.
“So?” She inquired, reclining back and throwing her arm behind you on the back of the couch.
“Mm?” You hummed in question as you took another puff of the joint.
“How do you like the j?”
“Hmm,” You say after releasing another breath of smoke. “It’s… fine.”
“Just fine?” She asked, looking playfully offended.
“What!” You said, giggling and handing her back the joint. “It’s just a regular, old j! What else would you like me to say?”
“What, do you smoke some fancy ass weed with gold and diamonds and shit where you’re from?” Ellie chuckled.
“Sorry! I guess I’m just used to something very particular.”
“Oh, yeah?” She asked, cocking up an eyebrow, the one that you’d noticed had a slit right through it. “What do you mean by that exactly?”
“I usually lace my own js with lavender buds,” You explained. “Makes it taste better, in my opinion, and it helps me relax.”
“Really? Lavender, huh? I’ve never heard of someone doing that before.”
“A little trick I learned from an ex-girlfriend.” You clarified, pretending that you didn’t throw in that last word on purpose.
“That so?” She replied. You could have sworn that she had moved slightly closer the moment you mentioned having an ex-girlfriend.
“Mhmm. Lavender’s my favourite, but I’ve tried lacing them with other herbs and plants too.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“I’ve done rose petals and passionflowers before. Gives them a much better flavour. Sage is good too if you wanna destress and all. And apparently, hibiscus and jasmine are, well…” Your sentence is cut short by a slightly drunken giggle emerging from your lips.
“Are what?” Ellie prompted you.
“Umm, they’re good too.”
“Good for what, exactly?”
You handed the joint back to her before responding.
“I heard that they’re supposedly good aphrodisiacs.” You nearly whispered.
Ellie smiled slyly, taking the joint back without breaking eye contact.
“Interesting” is all she says before taking a huge puff.
Whether it was the mysterious alcohol finally kicking in or the sudden presence of marijuana in your system, you felt a surge of sudden confidence flood your senses. You wanted to impress this strange girl, you wanted her to like you. And yet somehow, it feels almost as if you’d already met before.
“By the way,” Ellie began. “I really love your eye makeup. You did it yourself?”
“Thanks,” You smiled. “Yeah, I did.”
“That’s seriously fucking impressive. I’ve never been into makeup and girly shit like that, but I know it must take a fuck ton of talent to do it.”
“Nah,” You waved off before picking up your red solo cup from the table and drinking from it. “It’s really not that hard to learn. I taught myself how to do it for the most part.”
“That’s even more fucking impressive.” She stated simply. You gave her a sheepish smile before uttering another quiet thanks.
Before either of you could speak again, the guy leaning against the arm of the couch next to Ellie turned towards her.
“Yo, Williams, Chang here yet?” He asked.
“Really don’t know, man. He said he would be.”
“Damn. Call him or something.”
“Call him yourself. I’m not his mother.”
The guy tsked in irritation before returning to a conversation with his companions.
“Nice friends you got there.” You said out loud without thinking.
“We just got a mutual friend in common, that’s all,” Ellie replied, shrugging and taking another puff. “My best friend knows like, half the people who go to this school.”
You nodded in acknowledgement as she continued.
“Most people are usually disappointed that I’m not as nice as him.”
“You’re not?”
“Nah, apparently I’m ‘antagonistic’ and ‘mean’ and just really fucking rude.” She chuckled.
“Doesn’t seem like that to me.” You commented.
“Well, we just met,” She smirked. “Just wait a little while.”
“What, are you planning on being really mean to me in the future, Ellie?” You quipped.
She shrugged and you chuckled.
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Both immensely absorbed in your engaging and private conversation, you weren’t quite sure exactly how long you and Ellie were sitting in that dirty living room on that ratty, old couch. You talked about the classes and professors you had in common, bonded over your shared love of music and the instruments you both played, laughed at all of the dumb and silly jokes she made.
At one point in the night, Tara emerged from the basement, all buzzed and sweaty. She scanned the living room, having been worried that she nor none of the rest of your friends had seen you since you’d all first arrived at the house. Upon spotting you sitting so intimately to Ellie, her whispering something in your ear and you boisterously laughing, Tara smiled and retreated back to the basement.
Ellie was beginning to tell you about her hometown when your conversation was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice.
“Hey, yo, El!” You heard Jesse say from behind you.
You turned around to see a jovial expression on his face that didn’t quite meet his serious eyes. He was smiling in greeting, but it seemed like whatever occurred in the private conversation he had with the girl Dina rattled him in some way.
“Yo, Jess,” Ellie said, waving him over. “Been wondering where the fuck your ass has been this whole time, man.”
“Ahh, well, I kind of… got detained by D…” He admitted as he approached the couch before spotting you sitting next to Ellie. “Oh, shit! You guys know each other?”
“What, you don’t know that we’re lifelong best friends?” Ellie said, winking at you. You turned away as you bit your lip, attempting to hide the smile on your face and the heat rising to your cheeks.
“Now, hang on, I thought we were lifelong best friends?” Jesse gasped playfully, putting one hand on his hip and gesturing between you and him mockingly.
“Sorry dude, I claimed her already.” Ellie said, smirking.
You tried to ignore Jesse’s mumble of “greedy whore” towards Ellie in between loud, fake coughs.
“Anyway, you saw D? Are you okay?” Ellie said, her tone more serious now.
“I mean, I guess,” Jesse sighed. “Thought she wasn’t tagging along tonight, but I guess she did.”
“Sorry, man, I really thought you knew.”
“It’s cool. I was gonna end up seeing her at some point. Might wanna check up on her, though.”
“She okay?”
“I think so, but you know how she can be.”
“Where’d she run off to know?”
“I think she said that she was gonna go hang out with her roommate or something for the rest of the night.”
“I’ll text her, see where she is.”
“Oh, umm,” You said, awkwardly speaking up. “My friend Astrid is her roommate, so I think your friend Dina went downstairs to the basement.”
Both Ellie and Jesse looked slightly taken aback at your short degree of separation.
“Sorry,” You apologized as you looked down at your hands in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to insert myself.”
“Hey,” Ellie assured, nudging your shoulder with hers. “Didn’t I just say that we’re lifelong best friends?”
You looked up at her and smiled with appreciation at her thoughtfulness.
Ellie, realizing they’d been leaving you out of their conversation, quickly filled in the blanks.
“Our other lifelong best friend Dina got dumped by this asshole joker right here a little while back. It was a bit of a messy break-up.”
“I haven’t always been the smooth and suave man that you see before you today.” Jesse quipped.
“Never have been, dumbass.” Ellie added. Jesse gave her a scowl, which she mockingly returned.
“Anyway,” She continued. “Now I’ve been stuck being the middle man for the past year or so ‘cause these two clowns don’t know how to talk about their motherfucking feelings.”
You chuckled at Ellie’s choice of words.
“I’m sure she’s okay if she’s with your friend, though. This Astrid girl nice?” Ellie inquired.
“Oh, she’s the absolute sweetest.” You affirmed.
“Well, I trust your judgment. I’ll give her some time and check up on her after.” Ellie concluded, giving you a half-smile.
It was so curious how these people you’d known only for a few hours seemed to somehow trust you so intimately and almost blindly. Besides your cousin Rafael who’s known you since birth, you’d never clicked so well with anyone else in your life. You felt a quiet warmth in your chest, feeling as if you had been soulmates with these people in a past life.
“Might as well,” Jesse said, looking down at his buzzing phone. “Eugene’s contact said he’s here. He’s out back if you still wanna talk to him.”
You suddenly felt naive, not realizing sooner that Ellie was the dealer friend Jesse had been talking to you about earlier in the evening. Her previous rolling of papers and multiple joints should have been a dead giveaway, but you were far too mesmerized by Ellie and her charm and her ocean green eyes to give much notice to your current surroundings.
“Ah, shit, I totally forgot,” Ellie cursed.
She looked at you.
“Umm, do you wanna come with? It’ll probably be boring as shit, but—”
“No, no, it’s okay,” You said, waving her off. “It sounds pretty important. Jesse was telling me earlier that you needed to meet up with him.”
Ellie turned towards him, an annoyed look on her face.
“Now, why are you going around telling my business to everyone?” She asked him.
“It’s fun.” Jesse joked. Ellie rolled her eyes.
“If, uh, you wanna stick around, this probably won’t take long. I’ll see you after?” She said guiltily. You gave her a soft smile.
“Ellie, please go ahead. I’m a big girl; I can be left alone for two seconds.”
She chuckled at your words as she stood up from her seat next to you, not before brushing her hand and her knee against yours. You wondered silently if she did so by accident.
“See you in a bit, pretty girl.” Ellie said, winking at you.
You watched as she and Jesse walked off towards the backyard of the house. Once they were out of sight, you sighed quietly.
You realized that you were all alone tonight once again, this time through no fault of your own. Not knowing what else to do, you leaned back into the sagging sofa and pulled out your phone from a pocket of your skirt. As you waited for your companions to return, you scrolled mindlessly through different social media outlets for a while until your entertainment was exhausted and eventually settled on Instagram. After a couple of minutes of looking through your friends’ stories and posts, sending likes and comments every now and again, you see something that suddenly makes your stomach drop.
Still not fully over the results of the disastrous break-up with your high school ex-girlfriend, you hadn’t unfollowed or blocked her on social media just yet. You realized in the moment what a grave mistake that was when you came across a post with several photos of her and all your former friends at some party with a couple of unknown people included. Hot tears formed in your eyes when, while swiping through the many images, you encountered one picture with your ex-girlfriend’s arms wrapped around a strange girl you didn’t recognize. Their physical intimacy and stances suggested something more than just friendship.
You suddenly felt the urge to throw up and you immediately rose from your seat in search of a nearby bathroom. Eventually, you came across a small one towards the front of the house and wrenched it open, feeling lucky that it was presently unoccupied. Leaning over the grimy sink, the feeling of nausea subdued from what you figured was a result of separating yourself from the overstimulation of the party. Still, your hands and neck felt clammy. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe, no matter how hard you inhaled and exhaled.
You raised your head up to look at yourself in the murky mirror. Thick tears threatened to fall from the corners of your eyes. Pieces of hair stuck to your forehead with nervous sweat. Lips were trembling and shakingly releasing laboured breaths.
Leaving your past behind was not as simple as you believed it could be. The past several months had been a personal hell for you, having been abandoned to be lonely and companionless by people you loved. After a messy break-up with someone who suddenly broke your heart, a result of two young, dumb kids attempting to be much more mature than they actually were, your entire friend group ended up choosing her in the aftermath. It left you completely grief-stricken and betrayed, not expecting the people you believed cared for you to cast you aside so quickly and easily.
You’d spent the entire summer after graduating high school healing and recovering from such a loss, and you’d genuinely believed that you came to your new school fully mended. But as you stood in front of a fogged-up mirror in a dingy frat house bathroom, it seemed as if you hadn’t fully overcome your emotional wounds like you thought.
You were dabbing the soggy sweat off your moist forehead when someone suddenly knocked on the bathroom door, causing you to jump.
“Oh, umm, someone’s in here!” You quickly exclaimed. The sound of the same voice you’d been listening to all evening calling out your name from behind the door had you grip the edges of the sink and freeze in place.
“Y-yeah?” You asked falteringly.
“Hey, uhh, i-it’s Ellie.”
“Oh!” You said in surprise. “Hi! Umm, I-I’ll be out in a minute!”
“Hey, uhh, are you okay?” Ellie said after a beat or two.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine!” You cried out unconvincingly.
“Can… can I come in?” She asked hesitantly.
��Oh! Umm—”
“It’s okay if you don’t want me to! If you need space—”
“No, no!” You interrupted.
You took a deep breath, threw out the damp tissue you still held in your hand, and carefully opened the door to reveal Ellie with a concerned look on her face.
“It’s a bit of a tight fit, but, uhh…” You said, stepping aside to let her in.
You backed up to make space for her and sat on the edge of the shabby-looking tub as Ellie closed the bathroom door behind her before leaning her back against it.
“How’d you know where to find me?” You inquired.
“Someone saw you come in here.” She explained.
“Oh” was all you could say in return.
There were several moments of complete silence, neither of you knowing how to start or what to say. It was you who eventually broke it out of nervousness.
“So, umm, how did it go with that guy you were talking to?” You asked awkwardly.
“Oh, uhh, good. At least, I think so. Gave me a pretty good deal and all.” Ellie replied.
You nodded in response.
“So, hey, uhh, if you need a new plug out here…” She pointed a pair of finger guns at you, to which you half-heartedly chuckled.
“Sorry,” She apologized. “I’m not really as smooth as I would like to think.”
“Don’t worry, I still think you’re plenty charming. Dorky, but charming.” You gave her a soft, affectionate smile that she returned as you saw her turn slightly pink underneath her numerous freckles.
“So, uhh, are you okay? I don’t mean to pry or anything, and you don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to—” She began to ramble.
“Ellie,” You said, chuckling. “It’s alright. I don’t mind, and you’re not prying.”
She let out a quiet sigh of relief.
“Just a bunch of bullshit in regards to my ex,” You explained. “Thought I was past it all, but…”
Ellie nodded in understanding.
“Still not over her?”
“Oh, god, no, no, I’m completely over her,” You clarified quickly. “But dealing with the outcome of it all… isn’t necessarily fun.”
“Yeah,” Ellie agreed. “I completely get it.”
You looked up at her with an expression of gratitude.
“Man, this lesbian shit is real fucking messy and complicated, huh?” She quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood. You couldn’t help but giggle at her joke.
“How’d you know that I wasn’t okay?” You asked her after a beat or two.
“The people I was with earlier said that the pretty girl I was talking to suddenly looked stressed and ran to the bathroom.” Ellie explained, shrugging. You attempted to hide your bashful smile as you felt your cheeks go hot again.
“Wanna get out of this disgusting bathroom and go smoke some more?” She asked.
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You and Ellie were passing another joint back and forth again several feet away from the Sigma Eta frat house. You’d both taken shelter underneath a nearby tree, listening to the muffled bass drops of yet another bad EDM song currently playing from the frat house. The weed was calming your nerves down slightly, but you had a gut feeling that it was Ellie’s presence that was the actual cause of your peace of mind.
“Damn, I really wanna try your lavender-laced trick now.” Ellie said after taking a hit of the joint.
“I mean, it’s not really my trick. It was my ex’s idea.” You chuckled dryly as you watched her blow the smoke up towards the night sky.
“Oh, fuck that shit. I don’t know her and I know you, so it’s your recipe.” She disagreed. You laughed graciously at her argument.
“Can I ask what happened?” Ellie began, handing the joint to you. “Like, did the bitch suddenly call or text you, or…”
“Nah,” You said after a puff. “She posted something on Instagram and, I don’t know, I guess seeing evidence of her existence triggered something in me.”
“Wait, you don’t have her blocked?”
“No…” You admitted sheepishly. “I still follow her and everything…”
“What!!” Ellie exclaimed. “Why?!”
“I don’t know!” You laughed at her immediate indignation. “I just could never get myself to actually do it!”
“Alright, no more free weed for you!” Ellie proclaimed, swiftly snatching the joint out of your fingertips.
“Noooo!” You whined.
“You’re on a time-out for still keeping your stupid ex-girlfriend in your life in some kind of way!”
“Look, I like to lurk sometimes! I can’t do that if I have her blocked!” You protested, attempting to take the joint back from her.
“Oh, now you’re definitely not getting any more free weed!” Ellie said, holding the joint up and away from your reach.
“How else am I supposed to be a miserable, pathetic lesbian who needs to be sad and tragic if you don’t let me!!” You said, giving up and crossing your arms over your chest in a huff.
“Pretty girls like you should be spending their freshman year in college in their drunken whore eras, not in an ‘I’m gonna sulk over my worthless ex the whole time’ era!”
“Ugh. Yeah, I know, I know,” You sighed. “But that all sounds like so much work!”
“Alright, give me your phone.” Ellie said suddenly.
“What?” You asked, surprised. “Why?”
“Just give me!” She insisted, holding her free hand out.
You pulled out your phone from one of your skirt’s pockets and handed it over to her, eyeing her suspiciously.
“What are you up to, Ellie?” You inquired of her.
“Just hold this!” She replied, handing you the joint. “But no smoking!”
“Yes, sir!” You said with a salute before taking a quick puff.
Ellie rolled her eyes, chuckled, and had you unlock your phone before taking it back to open up your Instagram.
“Okay, what’s your ex’s name?”
“... why?” You asked skeptically.
“Just trust me!”
You squinted your eyes at her before reluctantly giving her your ex’s name and Instagram handle. As you took a generous hit of the joint, you leaned over and watched as Ellie went to your ex’s profile and blocked her.
“Ellie!!” You protested.
“This is for your own good!” She exclaimed.
“Oh god,” You laughed. “Yeah, yeah, maybe.”
“Definitely.” She asserted before typing another handle into your Instagram search bar.
“What are you doing now?” You asked dubiously.
“Replacing your ex with a hotter, much cooler person.” She explained simply before handing your phone back and taking the joint out of your hand.
You looked at your screen to see Ellie’s Instagram profile and realized she’d followed herself through your account.
“Wow. Dinosaur nerd, huh?” You said, noticing one of her posts was of her posing geekily next to a dinosaur skeleton display in some museum.
“Shut up.” She chuckled before hitting the joint.
“Well, are you gonna follow me back?” You asked.
“I don’t know, I don’t really know you that well.” Ellie shrugged.
“You dick!” You scoffed, to which she laughed. “What happened to us being lifelong best friends?”
“Calm down, calm down,” She chuckled, holding the joint between her teeth and already pulling out her phone. “Bossy.”
You felt your phone buzz with a new notification from Instagram.
“There you go,” She said, putting her phone back in her pocket. “Now we’re official lifelong besties.”
You laughed. Your affection for this incredibly handsome and charming girl that you had just met tonight was growing more and more by the second. Every time she laughed at a joke you’d make or stared at your lips a little too long or brushed her skin against yours, you wondered if you were imagining it or if she had been feeling the same spark too.
“Hey, umm,” You began. “Thank you for that.”
“Don’t have to thank me. I’m sure you would have done it eventually. At least, I hope so.” She chuckled at the last part.
“Oh, I don’t know. I honestly hold on to shit like that forever. I would have probably stayed following her ‘til I was I was fifty.”
Ellie laughed.
For the next few minutes, you told her all about the sorry tale of the break-up between you and your ex. As you and Ellie went through and finished yet another joint, she listened to you intently while she leaned against the tree you’d been standing next to. She didn’t interrupt you, aside from an occasional supportive comment or two, intent on letting you rant your pent-up frustrations out.
You hadn’t opened up to anyone else about this, apart from your cousin Rafael. It felt like you had nobody else left to trust your heart with. And yet, there was something so different and familiar about Ellie that made you feel so at home, so comfortable confiding such intimate thoughts and experiences. She happily entertained you as you confessed to her the way you’d never done before with anyone else, her face looking so sympathetic and gentle as she watched you ramble.
“Oh my fucking god,” You eventually said after a while. “I can’t believe I’ve been babbling nonstop about my bullshit, I am so sorry, I—”
You buried your face in your hands in embarrassment.
“Hey, no, no,” Ellie interrupted, pulling your hands away from your face. “None of that. Don’t apologize, please. It’s shit that you obviously have needed to get off your chest for a long time now. I don’t mind listening at all.”
“Okay, but I’m a total stranger who just trauma dumped on you like a dumbass—”
“Alright, no, you are not a dumbass,” Ellie insisted. “And lifelong best friends, remember?”
She gave you a soft smile and began to rub her thumbs against your palms, her warm touch making you tremble.
“Oh, hey, you’re shivering, here.” Ellie said, taking off her motorcycle jacket and placing it around your shoulders.
“Oh,” You said, “T-thanks, Ellie.”
“Looks really good on you.” She commented, smiling. You felt your cheeks go hot again.
“It-it’s very nice.” You said.
“Yeah, it’s my dad’s old jacket. He gave it to me when I was around 14. He used to be a delinquent and was part of some gang or something when he was younger. Rode motorcycles a lot or some shit like that. I’ll tell you more about it one of these days.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Ellie seemed to realize how close she was to your face and how intimately she was holding you. A little sheepish, she walked back a few steps to lean against the tree. She crossed her arms against her chest and, her arms now uncovered, you noticed a large tattoo covering her right forearm.
“I like your tattoo,” You commented. “What is it?”
“Oh,” She said, glancing down at her arm. “It’s a moth with some ferns around it.”
“It’s absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thanks. My ex-girlfriend did the tattoo itself, but I created the design.”
“Woah, really?”
“Yeah.” Ellie said, chuckling at your admiration.
“I know you were telling me earlier that you like to draw, but that really is something.”
“It is?” Ellie replied. You could see her blushing even under the dim glow of the moonlight.
“You’re really talented, Ellie.”
“Nah. I mean, my ex-girlfriend Cat, she did a lot of work making it look better and shit.”
“Still, it’s very impressive.” You insisted. “Do you think— Can I…?”
You extended a hesitant hand out towards her tattooed arm. She smiled warmly as she offered it to you.
“Yeah, go ahead.”
You lifted your outreached hand to trace your fingertips across the multiple leaves decorating her skin. You stared at the intricate design of the Death’s-head hawkmoth that was perched atop the ferns.
“It really suits you.” You said.
“You think so?”
“I do.”
As you continued to stroke Ellie’s tattoo, you felt electricity once again run between you two. You looked up at her to see her ocean green eyes staring at you. You’d never seen anyone look at you that way, not even your ex-girlfriend. You tried to decipher her expression when the moment was suddenly interrupted by your name being called coming from the direction of the frat house.
“There you are!” Tara exclaimed, half-jogging towards you.
“Oh, hey, Tara.” You greeted her, pulling your hands away from Ellie.
“Been looking for you everywhere.” Tara said.
“Sorry, the party was getting a little too much for me. Needed a breather.” You apologized before gesturing towards your companion. “This is Ellie, by the way. She’s Jesse’s roommate.”
“Oh, hey, nice to meet you, man.” Tara said, nodding towards her in greeting. Ellie replied with a nod of her own.
“This is Tara, my roommate.” You gestured to Tara this time.
“Nice to meet you too, dude.” Ellie repeated back to her.
“So, uhh,” Tara began. “Half the group is completely wasted, and Astrid really wants to get rid of that guy Fred who has not stopped trying to grope her all night.”
“Oh, gross. Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s okay. But we’re gonna order an Uber and we’re about to head home in a sec. Did you wanna come with or…”
“Oh, umm…” You turned towards Ellie.
“Go on,” Ellie replied, smiling. “I think I’m gonna go find my friend Dina.”
“I’m gonna go gather up the girls.” Tara said, pointing a thumb towards the house. “Nice to meet you again!”
“You too, man.” Ellie said as you both watched Tara walk off.
“Go ahead,” Ellie said, head motioning after Tara. “Go help your friends.”
“Are-are you sure?” You said hesitantly.
“Here, give me your phone again.” She said, holding her hand out. This time, you didn’t hesitate and unlocked it before handing it to her.
You watched as Ellie quickly typed for a few moments before placing it back in your hand. Glancing at the screen, you saw that she’d texted a new contact she’d named “Ellie 😛” with the message “hey sexy” accompanied by a winking emoji.
“Oh my god, you’re annoying.” You said, laughing.
“What, you don’t think I’m sexy?” She replied, grinning.
“Goodbye, Ellie.” You chuckled, walking away a couple of steps before suddenly stopping in your tracks.
“Oh, wait, your jacket—” You said, beginning to shrug off her old motorcycle jacket.
“No, go ahead and keep it.” She interrupted, securing it back onto your shoulders.
“Are you sure?” You asked.
“Gives you a good excuse to see my sexy ass later.” She smirked.
“Shut up,” You said, unable to hide a smile. “You are so annoying.”
“You love it.” She said, smirking once more.
As she adjusted the jacket onto you, you realized just how close she was again. You stared at her and she stared right back. There was a moment or two when you gazed into each other’s eyes, neither saying anything. You felt heat increasingly rising to your face when she suddenly brushed a piece of hair from your forehead.
You found yourself completely unwilling to leave this bubble that enclosed only you and Ellie. It was extraordinary how intimately absorbed you felt in this person you’d only seen for the first time today, how enchanted you felt by merely being in her presence. In just a few hours, she filled your mind completely with thoughts of her and only her. You prayed that this wasn’t a chance meeting but the beginning of something life-changing.
The moment was once again interrupted, this time by Jesse.
“Dude, I was—” Jesse began, but upon seeing what he’d walked in on, his sentence faltered. “Oh, shit, sorry—”
“It’s okay, Jesse,” You assured. “I gotta go, anyway.”
You turned back towards Ellie.
“I’ll, umm, see you soon?” You asked nervously.
“I hope so.” She replied, smiling softly.
You began to walk back towards the house, giving a quick goodbye to Jesse. Once you reached the front porch and before you walked through the door, you turned back to where Ellie and Jesse were standing beneath the tree.
You lifted your hand and waved at Ellie, which she returned with her own soft wave. The look on her face looked completely dazed and awestruck. You bit your lip in nervous anticipation, looking into her ocean green eyes one more time before walking into the house.
After a beat or two, Jesse finally spoke.
“Is she wearing Joel’s old jacket?”
“Shut the fuck up, Jesse.”
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author's notes:
i can’t believe this is finally out!! sorry for taking so long to update this, but hopefully how long this is will make up for the time ♡︎
the "barbie heterosexual" line is a reference to a line from the iconique movie "imagine me and you" :)
reader's little spiel to tara about her dating preference is just another little love letter of mine towards masc/butch/stud lesbians. just love y'all so much, you deserve the world.
fred is named after another jackson resident in the actual game (as i've probably mentioned before, all the character names in this fic are purposeful: either named after actual characters or named after people irl). i thought it was a silly little reference for him to go after astrid cause in the games, he's barely mentioned except at one point when it's seen he was paired up with astrid for patrol at one point. i enjoy my little easter eggs :)
the descriptions of most of reader’s friends are slightly based on the physical appearances of some of my irl friends :)
i’ve discovered that i really love making these flashback chapters hehe
like i said, i’m so sorry for taking forever to update this!! my life has been an absolute shit show lately (if you’ve been keeping up with my personal ramblings on here, you know by now lol). but the next few chapters have been basically mapped out already, so hopefully it won’t take me that long to update this with the next chapter ♡︎
taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn
@uraesthete, @softbunlvr, @cherriesxinthespring, @amitycat, @thefishymissy, @yevheniiaaaa, @machetegirl109, @bertandfearnie, @ximtiredx, @efam
@elliesnumber1gf, @digit4lslut, @tayyyystan, @emothurman, @livvy-2000, @abigaillovestoread, @gold-dustwomxn, @liabadoobee, @yuckyfucky, @qtefolleunpez
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@awyunh, @kenz-ee, @marvelwomen-simp, @eleactric, @simpforellie, @omgidksblog, @anxiouso, @nyrastar, @lillysbigwilly, @hopeless-y
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@sagestuffing, @ewwitsbella, @igoferalforelliewilliams, @miaelliesgfxoxo, @kissesforells, @elysiagyaru, @asteroidzzzn, @gay4jinx, @97cityy, @joliettes
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@whenlostinthedarkness, @elsbouquet
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 10 months ago
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I don’t know if the story says or not but What makes a dorm leader different than a regular student. They have a fancier uniform, order their students around, and go to meetings to plan events so it is just like a leadership position?
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I’ve personally always thought of the dorm leaders as a variant of RAs (resident assistant). They’re students who work with school administration to oversee and to conduct activities for their respective dorm buildings/residence halls. In return for their efforts, RAs get perks (usually monetary compensation/free or reduced price on their own housing, their own room instead of having to share with others, etc.). Usually there is a fierce application and selection process since the benefits are good.
Similarly, the dorm leaders in TWST have certain responsibilities but are also granted power within their own dorm as well as certain privileges which extend beyond that. Here are some key points that differentiate the dorm leaders from your average NRC student:
Dorm leaders have say over succession and their second-in-command. (They can recommend someone to replace them as dorm leader, and can pick their own vice dorm leader.)
Dorm leaders can choose to not pick a vice dorm leader at all. This is the case for Leona (as he doesn’t want to be challenged). Ignihyde also lacks a vice dorm leader but we lack a reason as to why this is.
Dorm leaders attend meetings with other dorm leaders + the headmaster to discuss schoolwide events and activities. They may delegate this work to their vice dorm leaders if necessary.
Vice dorm leaders can fill in for their dorm leader if the dorm leader is not present or not able to fulfill their duties. This occurs in book 6 of the main story.
Dorm leaders wear a special variant of their own dorm’s uniform. They are also allowed to make significant alterations if they wish (only to the uniform they wear, not the uniform that other students in their dorm wear).
Dorm leaders get to have their own dorm room rather than having to share it with other students.
Dorm leaders are implied take some responsibility for their students’ behavior and academic performance, as they are the “face” of each dorm.
Dorm leaders appear to have authority over students in their own dorm, though whether they exert that power or not depends on the individual dorm leader and their governing style. Whether the students obey/respect them or not also varies.
Dorm leaders have the ability to grant students (even those outside of their own dorm) the ability to use magic for combat. (This is typically forbidden unless NRC staff allows for it.)
Dorm leaders are seen as the “role models” and are expected to resolve conflicts that arise within their own dorm. This includes academic challenges and generally correcting poor behavior.
It’s implied that dorm leaders “look out” for the younger students. This includes showing them how to were their ceremonial robes as well as showing them around their new dormitory after the entrance ceremony.
Dorm-wide Halloween costumes are determined by either dorm leader or vice dorm leader.
Dorm leaders must attend orientation rehearsal, as well as orientation itself.
Vice dorm leaders can issue permission for people outside of the dorm to stay over.
Specific duties/responsibilities assigned to certain dorm leaders:
The Heartslabyul dorm leader may choose to enforce the Queen of Hearts’ rules at their discretion. Riddle is very strict, but the previous dorm leader was lax.
The Heartslabyul dorm leader assigns card suits to each of their students. They are first applied with a magical stamp, and the students are responsible for putting on their own mark with makeup every day after.
Grey areas/non-specific:
Dorm leaders are often serving as heads of committees (such as Vil for Halloween, Riddle for the cultural festival, etc.) It’s not clear if this is exclusively for dorm leaders or not.
Riddle says that everyone in the groups of book 6 has been given first responder training, but it’s not specified if this is required for all vice dorm leaders and dorm leaders.
Azul runs the Mostro Lounge, but since it is a personal project of his, his successor may not necessarily be tasked with continuing to run it.
Dorm leaders may also arrange the welcoming party, though this could be a responsibility shared with vice dorm leaders. Savanaclaw is stated to not have a welcoming party, but it’s not clear if this is based on the dorm leader’s discretion or not.
Dorm leaders must grant their permission in order for a student to book sections of their dorm building for events. This is stated to apply to Diasomnia, but it may be assumed to extend to other dorms too.
The light novel states that Riddle determined room assignments, as all students (excluding the dorm leader) live in shared rooms until junior (third) year. The second light novel confirms that it is 4 first years to a room, 2 second years to a room, then 1 solo third year. It’s not said whether the dorm leader picking your roommates is a Heartslabyul exclusive or of it extends to all other dorms (though we may assume it does).
Trey is often seen directing unbirthday party preparations, but we don’t know if this is because it’s part of his duties as vice dorm leader or because he wants to avoid Riddle’s wrath.
Jade helps Azul collect personal information on new students, but this is most likely a Jade thing and not an Octavinelle vice dorm leader thing
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