#but things should slow down a bit
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Thank you all for the birthday wishes!! Youre all so very sweet! 🤍🖤🧡🎉
#october#ask#anonymous#alwaystheview#spectral-king#flanblogssome#I promise there are posts coming next week!#this week really got out of hand and every day it was like#the day would start#and then it was over in the blink of an eye!#but things should slow down a bit#least for uuhhh#at few days anyway#thank you so much!#yall are so sweet TwT
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
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i used to do a lil shimmy/dance when i ate if things tasted good but. the more gluttonous i become the more i’m just focused on finishing things rather than savoring them 🫣
#it’s a good and bad thing#i kinda feel like i should slow down for a bit bc i want to rlly enjoy food again#but nothing feels better than finishing something and being satisfied#i want crunchy hand roll from kura sushi#talk
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wait Furiosa was really good actually, why did it flop?
#furiosa#mad max fury road#i had full intentions of seeing it in theaters and then life got swamped in may and by the time i had a free night it was out of theaters#and i was really bummed because i was looking forward to seeing it on the big screen#but anyways i finally watched it and it was good?? why did it do so poorly?#it wasn’t fury road but it also wasn’t trying to be?#the chase scenes (which are a core asset of the franchise lbr) i felt were on par with fury road#it’s all the other stuff that’s different#but that’s a good thing! it should be different because it’s a different story!#Furiosa (char) and Max worked so well as parallels#but in order to make that parallel interesting instead of redundant you have to change your storytelling a bit#Furiosa (movie) takes place over the span of 15 years whereas Fury Road takes place in 3? days#so yes Fury Road is going to have a faster pace#but taking the time to slow down for some world building and character development in Furiosa is not a bad thing?#and people complained about the CGI and usually I am the first person to jump on that#and yes there were some scenes that I think the CGI was a bit off#however.#you can see how much work was put into practical effects and stunt coordination#so idk personally think they should get a pass#mad max
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steadfast sailor, paper captain...
#em draws stuff#hornblower#william bush#horatio hornblower#first and foremost! sorry for melting bush's face off in this image#but for a bit more context this is because I had the idea that a hornblower story based in 'the steadfast tin soldier' would be interesting#so here we've got pewter-cast model bush and paper theatre guy hornblower (and things are not going well for them!)#this one was an interesting challenge since I wanted bush to look like the metal was sort of melting out from under his paint#and then hornblower's paper hasn't quite caught alight yet but is starting to char at the very edges of him and where he's touching bush#both of them are much more complex designs than I'd originally been planning for (bush has got ball-and-socket joints and all...)#(the original original plan was that I would learn pewter casting and make him Real. as you can see I did not do that.)#but hey I'm pleased with how they turned out in the end! this took me three sharpe episodes to draw :|#(eleven episodes in and I think it made me weird in the head so I think I will slow down for the time being! too much riflery!)#aaaaaanyway. I don't know if I'll ever write anything about this idea so I'm releasing it into the wild if anyone else likes it#part of this was. an excuse to put some sequins on hornblower yes. fellow should sparkle a little more often!
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chat what do u do when it kinda seems like a girl likes u
#“ermmmm ask her out” *INCORRECT BUZZER* its not that simople#i feel like once i got a bit of self confidence i started realizing this actually does happen sometimes#but everytime i realize i dont do nothing abt it so nothing happens#and tbh im bad at reciprocating#learned to tone down my rabid love and attraction to my friends but now i think i went too far in the other direction#it isnt even just “how do u pull” question either its more like. hey do u like me if not no problem if so#then i like u too but maybe not the way u like me. but not like jsut friends either im just not really a boyfriend type of guy#not that im not into doing bf things im just probably no substitute for a boyfriend yk. unless you dont want a boyfriend then im perfect?#umm but not like in a im not capable of affection type of way i can be affectionate. too affectionate even. um#idk man. the convo wouldnt even start w “do u like me” i feel like id have to start with “do u know what a qpr is”#theres so many layers to this onion man. id like to just be friends first an see where that goes#but i kinda feel like ive fumbled like five hot people that way#at least im still friends w some of them :) BUT NOT ALL OF THEM !!#basically its like. should i pursue long term friendship or short term fun. also really really dont wanna hurt anyones feelings#is this a vent. im not rly upset im just kinda down bad and frustrated#also im high 👍 and the heatwave is slowing my cognitive functions i think
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Me, making my much more in shape sister canicross my sled dogs for the first time today:
#dogblr#working season 23 24#catch me and an unwillingly stopped zombie huffing and wheezing after half a mile of sprinting lmao#sister did long distance running in college so is really suited to match the pace of my dogs and their distance requirements#meanwhile me? giving my rig#little kisses#but she enjoyed it!#we had fun#life’s been a bit stressful the past like month bc of work so I am just#bare knuckling until next week basically#and then things should slow down#also time change#single tear in east coast
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I've had enough character development for this year. Can we skip to the beach filler episode?
#lmao#had a great day mostly but im feeling the burnout#hindsight im glad im gonna be taking summer off from college#yeah it'll take me a bit longer to get my degree but i crammed in a lot of shit within a year#and working on projects and theory and application non stop#caught up to me#there's still a part of me thats like BITCH TAKE 1 CLASS THATS 1 LESS TO WORRY ABOUT#but the other is like BITCH 1 CLASS AINT GON DO SHIT CHILL YOU OVERACHIEVING CHICKEN FRIED FUCK#“you take everything on like you're running out of time even though the thing you need most is rest.”#thank you friendo for calling me out on my bullshit 🙏🏻💯#maybe i should hire them to tell me when i need to slow the fuck down#cause even though ive gotten better with taking care of myself i get so caught up with my ambitions that it bites me in the ass#that and when you're disabled and if you get that window of opportunity where you feel good you want to crank all the shit out you can#before going back into hibernation mode#vicious cycle#anyway i be ranting#no magenta here but some other color that we shouldn't be able to comprehend but we do anyway
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Oh I IMMENSELY fucked up this morning now I'm gonna be almost an hour late to work 😭
#i found out like 10pm last night the car rego expired so id have to make my own way#shift starts at 8. takes about an hour to get there. i checked transport times#tired brain somehow fucks up and ig sets 8 as the 'leave at' instead of 'arrive at' time#i think ok awesome i will take this bus at 8:06 that will get me there 8:47 a whole 13 min early....m#i guess i was also mixed up bc i take that bus in the morning to school at a bit after 8#first thing this morning i got up and got pancake batter and half asleep and glasses-less i dropped an egg on the floor#but anyway i left with my tea and my pancakes and my wits intact....#until i looked down at 7:58 and thought WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I START IN TWO MINUTES WHAT#so i ran. slowed. called my store. thankfully the manager on is really nice but idk if i clearly communicated the scope of my lateness#i just said id be 'pretty late' and he said its alright buddy take your time#god im glad i got him hes a really nice manager very chill#but AHHH MY GOD HOW DID I MESS UP TIMES THIS BAD#I LEFT AT 7:56 INSTEAD OF BEFORE 7!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!#anyway my bus got me to the station now im waiting for my train. it should be fine-ish but manbhhdhdhehfhf my god#idk if ill work 50min less or stay back an extra 50#but avdhdvhehfhfdbhdhd DUDE IM SO PISSED AT MYSELF
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Domesticated Post-Tekken 2 Era Kazuya is my favorite to think about because this would be so good for him and everyone else but he would have an absolutely miserable time during it
#like I dont think he would REALLY miss the rich ceo lifestyle bc i dont see it as smth he ASPIRES to but as a means to give himself power#if you (jun) somehow manage to convince him that he does not actually NEED power then i think hes adaptable enough to ajust to a humble life#and the whole being rich thing fed into his worst traits#but I think being close to jun all the time would be torture for him bc he would CONSTANTLY be confronted to his own faulty morality#he cant help feeling above other common people bc he endured much more pain and hardships at 5yo than them in a lifestyle-#but he cannot act on his superiority complex about them bc Its Not The Right Thing To Do#he looks at his newborn son and feel *nothing* before feeling frustration and irritation toward *himself*#bc hes smart enough to know he SHOULD be feeling smth#and if he relunctantly admit this to jun she would tell him that if the best he can do (for now) is to not wish or do any harm on jin-#then it is good enough and he should not beat himself up about it (which he doesnt. but he does)#and even jun. she is another person he could lose and he knows deep down he would be happier without her#but being near her bring back to life smth that died years ago at the bottom of that cliff#and he wont admit it but hes scared to lose it again. even if right now its brings him nothing but discomfort and pain#hes not even sure if he *loves* her. and when he asks her whats in it for her. why she stays with him#(not out of self-consciousness but genuine confusion) she just smiles at him because he IS considering the feelings of someone else#like she is so understanding and he genuinely does try and its a really slow healing process#hes still gonna stay a little bit of a prick smug at times but at least he will be immensely more chill out#and even maybe fall in love with jun *jun* down the line. characters that fall in love with each other years into the relationship👍#and his whole exploration of fatherhood with jin. him vaguely recalling smth nice jinpachi (or god forbid. HEIHACHI pre-cliff) did to him#and doing the same to jin out of the blue for the sake of experimentation#and jin's positive reaction making him FINALLY AT LAST feel some tiny tiny thing for his son.#also for all her tree-hugger talk. jun is right meditating in the forest DOES help kaz a lot#anyway. yeah👍#tagging later#tekken
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I need my energy back to gain back the ability to be annoying about peitha, I've exhausted a bit of how much I can ramble about her cannon involvement in the story (tho I wanna go replay SoTO so I can get timelines right) so I'm kinda left mostly daydreaming about her relationship with Zafira and interactions between them along with filling in the gap of Peitha apparently being at the wizards tower for a month or more before we go to Nayos.
I will say my attention to personalization of the story has been split between SoTO and Janthy Wilds. And seeing as Zafira's existence spawned from needing a new character to put into SoTO's story bcs no preexisting one fit, I'm kinda more focused on fleshing SoTO's stuff out first, but I can't wait to better figure out Zafira's place in Janthy's story seeing as Waiting Sorrow and her would have a past. I'll need to figure out what it was tho 🤔
#peitha#zafira al rajihd#its like 12 am lol#i will say my talk abt Peitha here has come to a bit of a slow particly bcs#after my think piece on her and stuff surrounding it i kinda felt like i should “be quiet” for a bit#not in like “i feel threatened and pressured into silence”#more so “i feel like i stoked something and should hold off on doing anything similar for a bit”#however i thiiiiink things have died down enough to get back to ny Peitha blabbering ways lol
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I’ve had a lot of people I just met asking me things like “what is your dream?” or “what do you hope for this year?” And I can’t bring myself to answer the question honestly to them because the answer is “I just want my friend to come back.”
But she won’t.
And I don’t want to go into it and explain why the past few months have been so hard, especially to people I literally just met two weeks ago. I also don’t want to bring down the mood so much, even though every little thing I do or see reminds me of her. Every single day, something causes my breath to catch, and I just see her — in the green of the leaves, the coolness of the wind, the hint of a smile on another person’s face.
I just want her to come back, so even when I’m being asked to talk about my dreams, I already know they’re impossible.
#the past few weeks have been hitting me a bit harder#i think because things are finally slowing down for me a bit and I’m starting to process#i did talk to my mom about looking into grief counseling when i come home#i’m hoping that will make things easier#anyways. it’s very late and I should sleep#i miss you so much my friend#grief#grief tw#pandora's ramblings
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odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets
#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually#we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive#i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth#like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system#so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier#like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON#and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time#we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton#it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes#like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks#but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier#we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it#and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking#side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it#like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great#i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully#and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot#also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao
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youtube
#diana's music diary#good afternoon hii#yesterday was just me playing more picayune dreams...#I should maybe slow down with it a bit I'm getting a little too obsessed with it n.n;;#otherwise though not much has been going on#I watched the grinch with some friends I suppose#and never ended up doing the thing I was supposed to do before it was too late... maybe today?#I don't like putting things off so hopefully#today's probably just going to be more chilling...#will maybe focus on playing ultrakill if I play anything but I'd like to maybe draw or write today instead -:3#maybe start this one thing I've been meaning to get around to?#let's just try to do something today no matter what it ends up being n.n;;#Youtube
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