#but they don't make me feel like I will die alone you know?

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Can you pls do the Mingle game scene where Hwang offs player 343 but instead of player 390 witnessing it, it’s us?

Keeping you safe

Squid Game masterlist

Hwang In-ho/Frontman/Young-il x fem!reader

Cw: Death of player 343, mentions of players getting shot, slightly different from how it went in the series.

"Two."

Right after the voice stopped, you were suddenly grabbed by Young-il, who dragged you off towards an empty room. Almost there, another player bumped into you, causing you to lose balance, when another player tried running into the room you two were heading to, but Young-il was faster, grabbing the man and pulling him out, then quickly went inside telling you to get in as quickly.

Inside you discovered another player already inside, it was player 343, who looked stunned when he saw you two. Young-il's gaze instantly fixed on him.

"Get out." Young-il growled, and player 343 backed off against the wall.

"We were here first." He defended, but Young-il had enough and rushed over to him. The guy Young-il pulled out wanted to make his way inside, and you closed the door, keeping it shut, and turned to see Young-il holding player 343 in chokehold, slumped against the wall, slowly pulling him down with him as the counter was at 10 seconds left.

Looking at Young-il's face, it almost seemed like he had a smirk on his lips, but you couldn't make it out because of the dim light.

At this point all the other players were desensitized when it came to the others getting killed, but you were not. You didn't want this poor player to die.

"W-wait, Young-il, don't–"

But he didn't listen, instead, he snapped player 343's neck right infront of you, the sound echoed through the room, which the sound alone had your spine crawling.

The body of him was slumped against Young-il, just as the timer ran out, the lock clicked in place and the players still outside were shot by the guards.

"Why did you–" you stuttered.

Young-il dumped the body into the corner, standing up and let out a heavy breath.

"You know if I didn't do it we would be killed instead." he said, walking over to you, looking through the slit on the door.

"But you could have thrown him out..." you tried arguing.

His head turned a bit, it looked like the corner of his mouth quirked up into a smirk just slightly.

"And let the other asshole come in?" He turned to face you fully. "He was already inside. I could have just closed the door and leave you out there."

For once, you couldn't come up with anything else to argue, you knew he was right, but killing still didn't feel right to you.

"Listen," His hand came up, resting on your shoulder "I did it for you, to save you. And if it means killing another player myself, then so be it."

You swallowed hard, looking into his eyes as they softened while looking into yours. His hand went from your shoulder to gently grab your chin.

"From now on, you should stick close to me. I may be the only one here caring about you. The others would rather kill you, but not me." He spoke softly, holding eye contact with you the whole time.

His grip tightened slightly, letting you know he means it. "Understood?"

All the emotions inside you made you nod weakly in response.

Young-il released you, smiling and patting your shoulder. "Good. You'll soon see how much I care about you."

Then the speaker announced the games to continue, the lock on the door was unlocked leaving you both to get out and continue with the games.

You don't know if you should feel safe or not, knowing Youg-il would even kill for you if it means keeping you unharmed.

[simmplerussiangirl]

The Fugitive

Ambessa Medarda x The Reader

Synopsis: It's very simple. You're Ambressa's wife and you were afraid you could kill her with your magic. So you ran away from the capital. It's about what happened after that

Word count: 1.2k

Author: Sorry, I'm really crazy about magic and Ambessa.

Three weeks ago during your training with Ambressa, you couldn't do anything. Your magic, your legs, your arms weren't working, it was like someone had replaced you. And so when you were once again working with a new spell, you couldn't hold the magic in your hands, and a large ball of pure energy exploded in your hands. It didn't hurt you, because your magic is an extension of you and it can't hurt you.

 But Ambresse... The woman managed to cover herself with her shield and didn't get badly wounded. But the magic hit her arm. You instantly ran over to her as you recovered from the shock. Her left arm was bleeding, and the cuts were in the shape of the runes you'd drawn so diligently in the air a couple minutes before.

« It's okay, Witchy « the girl wheezed and leaned on her other arm to stand up, drops of blood falling from her hand to the floor. « It's okay, I'm not going to die from these scratches. Don't worry, you didn't hurt me badly and the runes didn't go deep under my skin. You just cut my skin. Don't worry.»

 But I just watched in silence, unable to say anything. The thought flashed through your mind of what would have happened if Ambressa had been standing there without her shield as usual. Would you have killed her? Most likely.

 That night you fled the capital, hoping to shield your beloved wife from yourself and your magic. But, of course, you were found and brought back.

Now you enter Ambressa's office, where she has been negotiating with her people about the war. Your heart sinks as she throws the warriors out of the room she was talking to in a cold and menacing voice. As the men left the room not forgetting to bow to you and Ambessa, the woman stood up from the table and walked around it. Leaning her hips against it in front of you, she folded her arms across her chest. You could feel waves of displeasure from the girl, and she didn't even try to hide it. For a while, you were both silent. You because you were insanely ashamed of what you had done. She because she was waiting for your excuses.

 You looked at the hand you'd wounded and saw the scattering of rune scars and breathed heavily, raising your gaze to her eyes.

« I was scared» you swallowed and hugged yourself to your shoulders, trying to pull yourself together «scared that I might accidentally kill you with my magic. You're very lucky you had your shield on that day. If you hadn't, it probably would have ended very badly.»

 I lowered my eyes to the floor, unable to find the strength to look into her eyes, where you could see the depths of worry and boundless love.

« Villains can't have family and happiness. I knew that, but I hoped it wouldn't affect us, but it did.»

«You're not a villain» Ambressa said in a steady voice, not trying to comfort, but rather stating it as a fact.

« I almost killed you!»

«But you didn't.»

«But I could» I cringed even more at the thought of it «that's why I left, because I don't want to. I can't live with the idea that I've done you irreparable harm. Now you've led with your hand, but what if.... If next time it doesn't work out.»

 Ambressa was silent and only watched you standing by the door like a little battered kitten who doesn't know what to do.

«You can run around as long as you like. But I'm gonna find you wherever you are. I'll find you and I'll bring you back home to me. You're my wife, my responsibility and I won't let you think you're evil. Even if you destroy the entire Earth, I'll find a million excuses for you and make everyone believe it. Let alone the fact that you hurt me a little while you were practicing. It's just a scratch and you couldn't have hurt me worse.”

 Ambressa moved around the room like a predator. Her steps were slow and measured. Her arms were folded across her chest as she sat down on the couch near the fireplace. The fire danced across her face, making her features look more and more menacing. The girl didn't look at me, which made my heart whimper.

 She certainly was not angry now. She was never angry with you. Was displeased or pissed off, but not angry. At the moment her heart was gripped by anxiety. A vice gripping her heart at even the phantom possibility of losing you. She was terrified that one morning she would wake up and realize you were gone again. The thought alone made her clench her eyes, trying to push such a thing away from her.

«But...»

« No buts.»  Ambressa said it in a tone after which there could be no arguments. She cut off any doubts, causing a flame of hope and boundless love to erupt inside you. Seeing you slump your tense shoulders, the girl smiled and spread her arms, inviting you into her strong, warm embrace. «Come to me, my Witch.»

 And you came. Of course you did. Almost running, you threw yourself into her arms, wrapping both arms around her waist and hiding from the world in her neck. You greedily inhaled the pleasant scent of the girl's perfume mixing with her natural odor. It was such a familiar scent that you had missed so much in a couple of weeks that it seemed that if you hadn't heard it for a couple more days, you would have gone crazy.

 Ambressa's hand stroked your back in a soothing gesture. She kissed the top of your head a couple times and turned back to the fire, glad to have you around again. The demons inside her calmed down, no longer lashing out, wanting to kill anyone who looked at her the wrong way. The creatures quieted, and Ambressa sank into the long-awaited calm, clutching you to her.

 You, in turn, clutched her clothes in your hands, afraid to open your eyes and not see your beloved. At such an action on your part, Ambressa laughed a little, admiring your childish behavior.

«Have you had enough of running?» she whispered into the top of your head between kisses.

 You didn't say a word, but nodded affirmatively, drew your legs closer, and turned to the fire.

«You won't run away again?»  Ambressa's hand gently tousled your disheveled hair.

«Never again in your life.» You whispered, and rested your head on her shoulder, moving it slightly, like a cat wanting to be petted. « I thought I was going to die without you... I missed you so much. Waking up every day and not seeing you, not hearing your voice, not feeling your touch - it's my hell...»

« I love you.» You continued after a little silence. «More than anyone else in this world.»

 The clan head moved her hand to your shoulder and pressed you against her. Her heart ached pleasantly at your warm words, she literally melted when you told her how you felt.

«Me too, Witchy, me too.»

Thanks for reading. If there are any comments I accept criticism in a mild form. Don't break my heart :)

[natsuminmin]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ 500 MILLION HOURS -> ushijima wakatoshi !!!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ NOW PLAYING . . . alexandra by reality club

synopsis; in which ushijima slowly realizes he's grown fond of the unexpected, as long as it was in the shape of you cw: fluff/slight angst (?), yearning obvi , ushi doesnt what to make of his feelings , pre!timeskip, unproofread + lowercase, can be interpreted as gn! , self-indulgent , ooc grr... (lmk if i forget something!!!)

"on a park bench, under the moon"

ushijima shouldn't have cared that much.

it was just a hug...right? it didn't mean anything?

enough, he wont torture himself with this. human emotions weren't exactly his strongest suit. he should just stick to volleyball.

but why did he feel his heart race when he looked down at you, with your arms wrapped around him? you who he towered over so easily? one look in your eyes and he found it hard to fight his irrational urge to pick you up and cradle you close to his body. excuse me...where did that even come from?

he cleared his throat to clear his mind, his gravelly voice filling the air.

"you're being clingy right now." yep, that was ushijima. blunt and concise as always. he saw you pull away with a huff, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of regret, maybe. he couldn't tell, all he knew was that he might've wanted your embrace around him for a second longer. his thoughts stopped swirling when you cut through it with your voice, something he always compared to the melodic tunes of a windchime, even as you used it to get sarcastic with him. he never did really get your humor.

"well, you should be used to it. we've been friends for forever."

"it's only been 5 years. besides, we'd both die before we become 'friends for forever.'"

you groaned at him with indignation, did he always have to take things so literally? it was only an exaggeration....you resumed your earlier pace, returning into a stride as you remembered why you were out so late at night anyway.

popsicles were far too good...it was a hot midnight and you craved some after being woken up to a dream of it. naturally, you texted him first. and here you were, sneaking out of the dorms as the both of you walked to the convenience store. you don't know how you managed to convince him to go with you. you didn't even notice how quickly his reply had sent, as if he was waiting for hours to hear from you.

just as you began to retort, he suddenly spoke and clashed with your own words:

"well-"

"you've never hugged me this much."

you cut yourself off to let him finish speaking. the both of you walk in the tranquility of night for a second, as if trying to let that awkward moment float away in the soft breeze.

what? why were you looking at him in that way? he was just being honest....you know he's always been blunt. you wouldn't judge him, would you? he was relieved when you broke the silence, letting out a soft breath. why was he so worried if he weirded you out? it's not like he expected you to run back to your dorm and leave him alone with a broken heart. nope, not at all.

"is it a crime to want to hug a friend? brighten up sometimes, ushi."

before he could say that he was not a flashlight therefore he could not brighten up, and that it was never a crime to touch someone unless it was to an extreme, you shushed him; as if you almost knew what he was going to say already. which you probably did...god, why did that make his heart squeeze?

"a-ba-bah-bah, don't say anything. let's just buy the popsicles.

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

he found himself sitting at a park bench beside you, who was noisily slurping up the popsicles you had purchased and was obviously annoyed that it had melted that quickly. well, that's what popsicles usually did in the heat, after all

your beauty was simply divine, even when you were making the silliest faces as you tried to catch the juice that dripped down the popsicle stick. he thought you could rival even the goddess' when he saw the moonlight bounce off your eyes, making it sparkle more so than it usually did.

he noticed that you downed both of the popsicles immediately, leaving you with two plain sticks. he watched you stare at them for a while, before tucking it under your lips to create makeshift fangs.

"i'm dracula, bleh bleh blegh"

then you doubled over laughing at the joke (?) you made, he presumed. he was not getting any better at this.

he doesn't understand you.

he hates it. hates not knowing what you'll do next.

strangely enough, it's what draws him to you. he wants to analyze you. he wants to laugh at your jokes. he wants to know how you wanted to be loved. he wants to learn every single nook and cranny that created the outline of you.

he's aware volleyball was all he's ever mastered.

but you....you make him feel emotions that he didn't know he was possible of feeling. like he could dive in choppy waters and remain unscathed. heck, he felt cocky enough to puff up his chest and say those three special words already.

my god, if he can't focus on the only thing he knows, then what was he?

oh no.

he. was. a. fool.

for you, no less.

he so badly wanted to risk your friendship and confess at that very moment, yearned to finally grasp you in his arms the way you did.

no, screw that. he wouldn't know what to do.

so he resolved to wait instead. to wait until you made the first move. to wait until you had shown reassurance that you longed for him as much as he did for you.

if only he knew what was running in your mind as you chewed absent-mindedly on your popsicle stick, then he'd know that his feelings weren't unrequited after all. all you were thinking about was your next move, you had to make it bigger and bolder, because he just wouldn't get it otherwise. the signs were all there, she , ushijima. it's a shame, really.

but whatever, he's decided that he'd spend 500 million hours waiting, dedicate all his minutes to you; in hopes that you would finally find your way to your rightful place:

by his side.

"but in full view of what you are, you’re a goddess, you’re my rock star"

a/n: hahehuhiho i love basing my fics on songs sm. i remember yapping to my friend about creating this fic and said i should go for it...uu have her to thank gyus UGHH I CANT GET OVER HIM I WANNA MAKE MORE FICS WITH THIS KIND OF USHI should i make this into a 3-part fic that ends in total angst

[nemesis-writer]

Tag you're it/Milk and Cookies

Masterlist TW: neglect, mentions of kidnapping, mention of blood

Looking at me through your window Boy, you had your eye out for a little "I'll cut you up and make you dinner You've reached the end, you are the winner" Rolling down your tinted window Driving next to me real slow, he said "Let me take you for a joyride I've got some candy for you inside"

My family never cared what happened to me, since to them I was just a means to an end. I hated who I was and am now and I'd never forget the day that they finally got what they wished for.

Me to be gone...

Running through the parking lot He chased me and he wouldn't stop Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it Grabbed my hand, pushed me down Took the words right out my mouth Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it Can anybody hear me when I'm hidden underground? Can anybody hear me? Am I talking to myself? Saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it" He's saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it"

The memory remained more vivid than every birthday I ever had. I was tortured, raped, and mentally abused. All of the sudden I became immune to all the emotional pain that I've been surmounting. It was like nothing matter anymore and the world finally made sense.

Little bit of poison in me I can taste your skin in my teeth "I love it when I hear you breathing I hope to God you're never leaving"

It never hurt me anymore I couldn't be bothered when they hit me, wound me, or even kill me anymore. None of it mattered.

All that mattered to me was the feeling of being free from the abuse at home and outside.

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe Catch your lady by her toes If she screams, don't let her go Eenie, meenie, miny, moe Your mother said to pick the very best girl And I am

It felt good knowing that I was right. They never loved me, it felt good being correct about something others would despise.

I can leave this world...

One, two, melatonin is coming for you Three, four, baby, won't you lock the door? Five, six, I'm done with this Seven, eight, it's getting late, so close your eyes, sleep for days

But no... of course that wish wouldn't come true, I always have to suffer.

So now I'm gonna give them the consequences for the mistake they made

Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk I'm fucking crazy, need my prescription filled Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison too

I had the ability to escape, but no. I should enjoy the power I have in my hand.

I have never felt this joy for my whole life, and now to experience the true potential of my rage is thrilling.

Ashes, ashes, time to go down Ooh, honey, do you want me now? Can't take it anymore, need to put you to bed Sing you a lullaby where you die at the end

One by one the criminals all fall down. With the idea that I was someone who was worth even a single cent. Yet alone, millions of dollars.

I'd rather be dead, but this. This is so much more enjoyable.

Nine, ten, never want to see you again Eleven, twelve, I pull off black so well Shit behind the curtain that I'm sick of sugarcoatin' Next time you're alone, think twice when you grab the phone

Taglist

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194,@thesehandsarerated-e, @eyeless-kun, @errorunfound1, @gwyneveire, @alishii, @cxcillia

[aishangotome]

[Gilbert] Cleaning Time with Love - Part 3

Part 2

Michael, thank you for your letter. I'm relieved to hear that you're doing well in Rhodolite. Regarding the matter you wrote about the other day, I looked into it on my end. It seems there's a collector in Rhodolite who specializes in buying books. This collector apparently buys rare books at whatever price is asked, and the poor, aiming for a chance to make a fortune, are desperately searching for treasures. I thought Rhodolite had good public order, but it seems every country has its share of troubled people. Akatsuki's bookstore isn't famous because the books he handles are too niche, but many of the books he deals with are rare and valuable, the kind of gems that would make a collector drool. Ah, I can't sleep at night when I think that something might happen to the little rabbit. Knowing you, Michael, you've probably already identified the person behind those watchful eyes. Could you use them to meet with the collector? And invite him to Obsidian's black market. ––I hear there are many rare books of historical value there.

Gilbert: Hmm... An outing after so long makes my heart race. Don't you think?

Roderick: ...I have a headache.

Gilbert: Ahaha, pull yourself together. You were the one who said it, right?

Gilbert: That thieves should be taken down.

Roderick: I can handle this alone.

Roderick: There's no need for Prince Gilbert to venture to the outskirts...

Gilbert: Hehe, I've wanted to see the black market for a while now.

Roderick: ...What would Walter say if he knew?

Gilbert: Ahaha, why should Walter restrict my actions?

Gilbert: This black market is really quite amusing, isn't it?

Roderick: .....

Fleeing Man: Run! It's the military!

Fleeing Woman: Why is the national army here!? No, I don't want to die!

Man with a Pile of Books: No, I just came here without knowing anything! Why must I be detained by the military –– uwaaah!

Gilbert: Ahaha, what a grand hunt. How strange.

Roderick: ...Was this truly necessary?

Roderick: Even though the black market is illegal, it exists due to political deals.

Roderick: The collapse of this black market will earn the resentment of some nobles.

Gilbert: That's the reason I came here.

Gilbert: You know why I'm called the "Conqueror Beast," don't you?

Roderick: ...Of course.

Gilbert: Resentment from the nobles? Ahaha, I'm not kind enough to let them harbor such things.

He steps on a man who lies pathetically on the ground, books scattered around him.

Even when his cane digs into the man's skin and he cries out in agony, Gilbert doesn't care.

Gilbert: Filthy creatures like him think nothing of hurting others for their own greed.

Gilbert: As long as they get what they want, they don't care if innocent people get hurt.

Gilbert: This world is overflowing with "unconscious malice."

Gilbert: That's why I have to be overprotective.

Gilbert: If the most beautiful thing in this world were to be harmed by such an insignificant creature...

Gilbert: I would want to destroy the world right now, wouldn't I...?

Roderick: Prince Gilbert...

Gilbert: Hehe... Roderick, I'll leave the command here to you.

Gilbert: Ah, and also...

Gilbert: Keep it a secret from Michael that I was rough with them, okay...?

*back to present time*

Emma: –– ...It's true, I stopped feeling those eyes on me at some point.

Emma: I thought it was just my imagination and almost forgot about it, but...

Gilbert: Hehe, that's good.

Gilbert: I'm glad nothing happened to you.

(I had no idea... Behind my peaceful everyday life was the goodwill of a great villain.)

Prince Gilbert takes the documents from my hand and traces the letters with his finger, a nostalgic look on his face.

Gilbert: I got scared after that.

Gilbert: Akatsuki said it would be alright, but it really wasn't.

Gilbert: There are so many dangers around you, and something could happen at any moment.

Gilbert: I couldn't stand the thought of it... so I ended up doing it.

(Michael continued to come to the store after that.)

(I talked to him about all sorts of things, unaware of the person behind him.)

Gilbert: I'm sorry.

Emma: Why are you apologizing? This is a story about how you were protecting me...

Emma: I should be thanking you ––

He gently places his index finger on my lips.

Gilbert: No, little rabbit.

Gilbert: You were being watched the whole time. By a royal from an enemy nation who did terrible things to Rhodolite –– no...

Gilbert: By a strange man, all this time.

Emma: .....

Gilbert: Little rabbit... do you know what the most troublesome evil in this world is?

When I shake my head, Prince Gilbert slides the hand that was on my lips to my cheek.

Gilbert: "Goodwill."

Emma: Goodwill is evil?

Gilbert: Yes. Goodwill, when you look at it another way, is "unconscious malice."

Gilbert: If you didn't know me...

Gilbert: ...and you found out that "a spy from an enemy nation's royal family was secretly watching your life," how would you feel?

(If I didn't know Prince Gilbert and only knew that information...)

Emma: ...I'd be scared, very scared.

Gilbert: Right?

Gilbert: In the worst case, it could have been more terrifying than being attacked by thieves.

Gilbert: My goodwill would only be malice to you.

Emma: .....

Gilbert: That's why you shouldn't thank me so lightly.

Gilbert: I'm a villain through and through.

Gilbert: The leader of the "filthy creatures."

(...Thinking back, I was scared during my time as Belle.)

(Prince Gilbert knew everything about me, and I felt like I was being watched.)

(But when I heard that story just now, I didn't feel scared.)

(Maybe my senses are already messed up.)

(...Or maybe ––)

Before Prince Gilbert can pull his hand away, I grab it ––

.

.

.

Part 4

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[crownmemes]

Evil Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences from Evil (2019-2024). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I think that's why you're sad. You can't figure it out anymore. Things have gotten weird, and you don't like it."

"It's called 'cultural derealisation'. It's when you become depressed by how weird the world is."

"Come on, answer the phone or open the door! I'm not leaving until you do one or the other!"

"How many phones do you even have?"

"Let me be blunt: I can see something you cannot."

"I never speak metaphorically."

"If you can't be popular, be scary."

"As scientists, we have to acknowledge when something is beyond our knowledge."

"You know who I fantasised about last night?"

"If you wanted to be alone with me, all you had to do was ask."

"Everyone has their weaknesses. Don't mind me as I find yours."

"Why do you want to be boring?"

"Why can boys do whatever they want, but girls can't?"

"No! That's literally the start of a hundred horror movies!"

"I just don't like having your spy looking over my shoulder, okay?"

"I followed these visions for the last five years because I thought they were real. Now, I'm not sure."

"You are stronger than the world. You are stronger than anything that can threaten you."

"Am I having some kind of psychotic breakdown?"

"Have you ever noticed that people are getting meaner?"

"I don't need an exorcism!"

"This is all a game."

"You know how sometimes you don't feel connected to other people? That they seem to care about the stupid stuff?"

"Do you think we're reunited with loved ones when we die?"

"Did you ever wonder why The Omen skipped infancy? Because that's the real horror."

"I'm not as comfortable with this stuff as you are."

"Have you been reading the conspiracy theories?"

"Okay, great, now you've scared away the werewolf!"

"What do you want? I thought we were done."

"Have you ever seen a man turned inside out?"

"It's late. Can I be in trouble tomorrow?"

"You know conversations are supposed to make things clearer?"

[mcrcki]

it stopped being about a choice and became a necessity the moment she realized just how far fucking gone he was, how corrupted this power had made him. the moment he confirmed that he was the reason her sister was dead, that mira had been drained by him-- he was still xaden, his voice, his words, everything was still screaming at her that he was still in there, and yet, could she really believe that he was going to be stop there? that he wouldn't continue to fall down this path of corruption until he was no better than the venin that killed liam? 'i don't have a choice anymore.' she knew she should shut her shields down around her mind, and yet, she still couldn't block him out, knowing that placing that last brick right now would seal her decision, his fate.. she would just have to actually win. the praise is the last thing she allows through the connection, knowing it would only distract her, it would only make this all hurt that much fucking more to hear him still be... still be him. she places the last of her shields in place, her mind fully her own, knowing she needed to keep her mind planted in the archives. as she twists away, she watches as she loses one of her daggers to the ground below them. that's one dagger down, she knows she won't have any time to retrieve it.. she would just have to make them all count. zihnal needed to be on her damn side right now to actually win against the very person who trained her. would lightning be the only thing that actually worked, though? was he still human enough that a dagger would kill him? how had things gotten this fucked that she had to even think it, let alone begin planning it! "this is not because you fucking love me! do you actually think i would want to live a life not remembering who i really am? who any of us are? that i would choose to forget my friends? my dragons?" you? the last part was unspoken, not wanting to give in to that ache in her heart. the xaden she was fighting to save very well might have been gone. she dodges his move too slow, too distracted by this fucking conversation. she can fight in pain. she's lived with enough of it to ignore the sting. she needed to focus, to fall back on the moves rhi had trained her in instead of relying on only xaden's training.. he would be expecting all of those first. but before she can move, he's around her, arms warm and so close to feeling like home. but it's wrong, the image twisted as she feels the knife hovering over her throat. hell, any of other fucking sparring match she would have leaned forward to kiss him, wishing he was looking at her with anything but those burning red eyes.. i will not die today. she had to repeat it to herself as she jumped through all the ideas in her head about getting out of this. "i won't forgive you if you bring that knife against my throat. we have fought for this for so fucking long, xaden. don't throw it away for power." she had enough room between them, foot reaching up to kick out at his knee, she just had to get him off balance enough, to get any space between them before she dropped. distance... all she needed was distance.

he knows that any chance of talking will be gone once she pulls the truth from him. and she always manages to pull it from him, there's no doubt about it. and pull it from him she does. 'i'm not making you do anything, violence. this is your choice.' because he also knows she's not going to go down with out a fight. but this is what's best for the both of them. she won't remember the loss of her sister, she won't know what he is, she won't know to fear him. they can go back to the way things were, with no mistrust or pain between them. she and mira might even end up as sisters again, everything would end up fine. and some part of him knows that this is what he'd been afraid of. the possibility this exact line of thinking is what had led him to lock himself in his house with his shields up after that fucking maze. it's raging against the idea of hurting her at all, much less killing her. but the rest of him? it's convinced he's doing what's best for her, and for the two of them together. the look of fear on her face almost breaks that small part, he'd never wanted to see her look at him that way, even when they were nothing to each other. but that part is shoved down quickly at the flash of pain in his thigh. xaden swears under his breath, but his expression twists into a smirk in spite of it. 'that's my girl.' he shoots through the bond, knowing she'll hear it, even with most of her thoughts blocked from him. he's not at all shocked she's managed to twist away, the same clever fucking woman who had solved everything life had thrown at her. "i'm doing this because i love you. wouldn't it be better to not have to think about all of this? to get to live with no worries?" his own dagger is in his hand, shadows curling around him as he prepares to fight. it's not one he thinks he'll lose, he taught her everything she knows. every move she can make is one he'd made first, so how can she best him? a shadow quickly shoots out to wrap around the hand holding the dagger as he stalks forward, slashing at her torso, a shallow wound, he doesn't want her to die in pain, as he grabs at her loose hair with his free hand. once he gets a grip, he pulls her close, almost an embrace, and brings the blade up to hover near her neck, though not touching her skin. "don't you want to be with me without all this fear, violence? i'll find you when you wake up, and we can go back to the way we were."

[starpros-sunshine]

I think my main problem with minimalist architecture isn't even that I find it ugly and loveless (which is a separate thing I'll try not to go into) but that it just feels unfinished to me?

Like, I know this is a finished building but it just kinda looks like there's something missing and it irks me on a level that goes beyond if I think it's aesthetically pleasing because I can get that. Not personally but I can see why someone would be into the sleek and stylish cube look because of the "modern" appeal or whatever I can see how someone would explain their like of minimalism in architectural design.

But on a personal level it just feels to me like you started something and then you just. Stopped. Minimalist buildings to me feel like a work in progress that's just been abandoned and given up on. Like when I sketch something and then abandon that to sketch another idea I just had and that goes on and on and on and on so there's this abundance of unfinished sketches that have just been left to themselves but I tell myself that they're finished because "You can see what it's supposed to be. Mission accomplished." And they just make me a little sad to be honest because it looks like someone started something and then they just. left.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[wispythreads]

I don't trust North we disagree on literally almost everything why does me attempting to still be a civil human being with the basics of decency lock Markus and her into a romance what the heck

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Alistair: So I'm not going with you, I see. Any particular reason? Tabris: I'm not going to risk you getting hurt, Alistair. Alistair: And you think I want you going in there and sacrificing yourself? You think I want you to die!? But there's no use arguing with you, is there? We don't have time... and you are a stubborn, stubborn woman. Tabris: You would do something foolish. Alistair: Maybe… I guess we'll never know now, will we? I guess this is the last chance we'll get… before this is finished, one way or another. Be careful in there. Tabris: I love you, Alistair. Alistair:

Guess who made the ultimate sacrifice...?

Me. It was me.

I made the ultimate sacrifice.

The achievement wasn't worth it.

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[gregoftom]

GOD i am trying so fucking hard not to read into the fact that tom repressed the shit out of how he actually felt when he learned he probably won’t go to jail and then when he went to greg, he could. express it. you know. he could be himself. i really hate so much what i read into it BECAUSE I SHOULDN’T BC I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER AND I SHOULDN’T TRUST THIS SHIT BUT ARHJARHA HOW CAN I NOT WHEN HE’S REPRESSED ASF PER USUAL BUT THE MOMENT HE GOES TO GREG OR IS ALONE WITH GREG HE EXPRESSES HIMSELF FULLY, HIS RAGE, PAIN, [MANIC] HAPPINESS, AFFECTION. I HATE THIS SO MUCH. AND GREG IS IN THE CORNER COWERING BC HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THAT THE REASON TOM ACTS THIS WAY AROUND HIM IS. no. i Refuse to read That into it. but yall get what i’m saying right. 

AND THEN THIS

are you fucking kidding me. like was that really fucking necessary.

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[archiveofyearning]

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