#but they don't have enough chapters left anyway

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf

65 - The Cold and The Rats

Pairing: Jon Snow x F!Baratheon!Reader, Robb Stark x F!Baratheon!Reader (Past)

Length: 16.5k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, past character death, mentions of trauma and distress, disturbing or gore imagery, blood and violence, threats towards children, implied references to rape

Notes: Everything is fine, don't worry about the chapter title or the warnings :) Previous Chapter Here, Series Masterlist Here

Still fast asleep he was, but you had continued what you started anyways. Why you had been drawn to that book in the first place you didn’t know, but you were. Standing by your bookshelf near the window, your fingers had traced over various names and pages, some you read, some you hadn’t yet. They weren’t books originally of your own collection, those had been lost. Or, not so lost, but you knew they would never be returned to you.

Most of your belongings had been in Kings Landing. Thus by the time Ser Barristan helped you flee, only the clothes he gave you were what you owned anymore. Not just clothes though, letters, trinkets, and of course, all of your books, all left behind. Who knew what Cersei and Joffery had done with them, but not a single thing any of you nor the Starks brought there was any longer yours. By the time you had come back to Winterfell proper, the Boltons were your captors and the only things you owned then were what little they let you borrow from their own. In truth, for the names you held in your life you had very little left. Jon though, had been trying to fix that.

Insisting his bedchambers were as much your as they were his, but you never added a thing to it. Never suggested anything or even came up with a single mention of something you’d even wish for. It was his space, not yours. That hadn’t stopped him though. It was not much and it was slow, but over time Jon had managed to get you some things. A bookshelf with whatever he could find to fill it that might interest you, and a chair more comfortable then it felt belonged in here for you to curl up on. His argument at first was you normally would read at his desk, but if you both were there you’d need somewhere to sit still, and this was his apparent compromise.

Now though, it served well. Large enough that you could position yourself where little Eddard could be wrapped up against your front while a book sat in your lap angled for you to read. When your fingers that evening had trailed along the shelf, you paused at one without initial thought, but it was little Eddard who chose it. Making a small sound of babbling as you asked if thats what he wanted, and you grinned. A strange choice for a story to set him asleep too.

But near an hour passed, and he was no longer awake and yet you kept reading to him.

Your voice was gentle, little more then a tender murmur for the baby’s ears. “The Tower of the Hand was less secure. The two men crept up through the walls, bypassing the spearmen posted at the tower doors. Ser Otto’s rooms were of no interest to them. Instead they slipped into his daughters chambers, one floor below.”

A small murmur came from the baby, but only a shift to snuggle closer to you. A soft smile falling over your face as one hand left the book page long enough to run along his back before returning back. Knowing if you didn’t keep going, he just as well could stay asleep or awake wishing you to have continued.

You knew the words on the page better then most, but for a strange reason you felt your heart race as they slipped from your lips. It was history, but too so removed from you life it felt only like telling a story but yet it felt as if your nerves were ragged and on alert. As if you were living what you read, despite your ability to look up and see otherwise. “Once inside, Cheese bound and gagged the Dowager Queen whilst Blood strangled her bedmaid. Then they settled down to wait, for they knew it was the custom of Queen Helaena to bring her children to see their grandmother every evening before bed.”

Again your eyes flickered up, and again you questioned why. No one still was here, if your ears could strain further then your eyes, you might have even heard the walking and chattering about in the corridors beyond the room.

So again, you tried to continue as you described out loud to the little one words of history you didn’t know why it bothered you so much now. And it only got worse the further into the page it went, describing the scene as Queen Helaena Targaryean came into the room, and her children held at threat. “Debt Collectors, said Cheese. An eye for an eye, a son for a son. We only want the one to square things. Won’t hurt the rest of you fine folks, not one little hair. Which one you want to lose, your Grace?”

The history of the moment was awful, a mother desperate not to make such a choice between her children, offering her own life up in pleading as they denied her. Your eyes looked down to your own for a strange moment as your heart lurched. It was not the same, you were safe in Jons chambers but the weight in your throat sat there even while you continued. “Cheese warned the Queen to make a choice soon, before Blood grew bored and raped her little girl. Pick, he said, or we kill them all. On her knees, weeping, Helaena named her youngest, Maelor. Perhaps she thought the boy was too young to understand. You hear that, little boy? Cheese whispered to Maelor. Your momma wants you dead.”

The voice speaking out next nearly startled you to the point it almost even awoke the baby. “Seven hells.” Your eyes wide looking up to see Arya standing by the door frame with an amused grin at what she caused inadvertently. Stepping more into the room as rose an eyebrow, “A bit young for that kind of violence don’t you think? What are you even reading him?”

Looking down, you closed the book before lifting it up to showcase the front, the words etched into it’s much more simple cover then the contents eluded to. The words of Fire and Blood, written by Archmaester Gyldayn. Written in the not so distant past when Robert Baratheon was still alive and still King over a realm full of peace, it was a well known history text by the time you were old enough to read it. A collection of histories of the Targaryean Dynasty, to a certain point.

Arya tilted her head in amusement as she closed the gap, reaching out her hand you read the intention. Handing it to her as she moved to the bookshelf to return it to the obvious spot it sat before. “I haven’t read this in ages.”

Carefully moving to stand, you ensured little Eddard was still asleep by the time you got to your feet. Easily pulling him from the wrappings into your arms, he shifted close to you as you moved more towards his cradle. “Trust me, there are far worse books on Dragonstone I could’ve read him.” Your hands slowly putting him down, little Eddard trying to worm his way closer to you, and only settling as you let one hand run along the top of his head before leaning down to press a kiss to the same spot. Confident you moved to pull a blanket over top of him and he much more settled as you begun pulling the wrappings from you.

You could hear Arya’s voice from the shelf, her eyes no doubt still looking at them. “What kind?”

Sitting the fabric down out of the way, you turned back to walk closer to her side. “More then I think most realize still exist.” Answering the question you knew would follow, your vision having caught at the side her turning her head towards you. “Baelor the Blessed had most of the Targaryean histories burned in Kings Landing. But, he died before he ever could think to touch the ones on Dragonstone.” Asking what was there, you tilted your head as your eyes squinted in thought. “Books, scrolls, scraps of pages, most of them in High Valyrian, but it was what the Targaryeans brought over decades before the Doom. Most of what’s detailed in those pages are far worse then anything Fire and Blood ever wrote.”

Not an exaggeration. The feats the Valyrian Freehold were capable of, the things known they had done and it was not a wonder why many of the free cities in Essos were not welcoming to their kind or their dragons to this very day. Arya seemed to catch onto your tone, something more low and dark then before. “Not sure what could be worse then that story.”

But your eyes only drifted back to the spine of where you knew Fire and Blood sat once more. That feeling in your gut making you uneasy, and not sure as to why yet. Only a vague idea based on what felt like nothing from your dreams putting you on edge thinking of the words on the page, how it was not a story but a history true to the life you lived now. Your voice little more then a whisper when you said it, and something not so angry nor resentful in it, but breathless and full of something you didn’t understand yet was fear, and in truth you had not a clue why you even said it. It slipped out as if a voice that wasn’t even yours.

“There is a beast beneath the boards.”

As morning light shined through the castle walls, you could only stand there, hands somewhat wringing together as you followed the path he walked to keep him in sight. Arms both preoccupied as either of yours were at any given time these days, Jon well balanced focusing on you with keeping his eyes consistently trained down and bright on little Eddard, whose small hands would occasionally reach up hoping to grasp at his father. He thus far, had not accepted your tone of concern.

Forcing the words out instead of biting down on your tongue, you looked to Jon in a hope that your eyes at least looked convincing of your plead. “He would be safer with you, you know that.”

Jon didn’t even bother looking at you with that narrowed gaze which could live on his face. Grey eyes trained down on the small bundle in his arms as he rasped out in a more smiling amusement to his son now equally as smiling back. “If you had to pick who to spend the whole day with, which one of us would you choose?”

Your eyes almost rolled in a playful manner but you swallowed it back down as the thought continued to rise. “Jon.” Only briefly did his eyes peek up to look at you, softening the moment the sight of the gaze over your eyes grew more and more distinct. Trying to open his mouth to reassure you, you cut him off. Head shaking, hands returning to wring together but not without you now more pacing along the longer edge of the room. “He’d choose me just to be fed. This isn’t about what he wants, or even what he needs. You know why he shouldn’t-”

Cutting you off, only Jons eyes turned to a sternness while his tone cut through as well but did not actually impede on the softness of his voice, despite the words. “I don’t know why. You’re worried about things that aren’t going to happen.” Trying to put forward he did not know that, but Jon entertained none of such insecurity. “I do know. We’ve had him almost a month now, darling. If something were going to happen to you when you had him, it would’ve happened by now. The only person worried about this is you.”

Biting down on your tongue roughly, your arms crossed one another over your stomach in something much more protective in motion. “It isn’t just me.” Jons walking stopped, an unknown in his eyes asking the question, but your lungs shook with the answer.

Not yet coming clean or simple, but picking one image in mind you seemed to use it as if a guiding force to tell him what was really going on behind the scenes if he read between the lines, which with you, Jon always could and did. You hesitated to answer, not wishing for it to paint anyone in any ill light but the truth was right there as you saw it.

Opening and closing your mouth, your head dropped, leaning back somewhat against the wooden cabinet behind where you stood. “Gilly’s worried.” Jons head tilted, eyes a softer plead for you to listen to him despite that you both knew how swiftly out of control you could turn something into. “The other day. When you were..” Seeking the appropriate word you elongated the length it took to speak the letters. “Explaining things to Ser Royce, I was sat down where Gilly was playing with little Sam. She would barley meet my eyes, looked at me holding the baby almost like she didn’t trust me.”

Stepping a bit closet to where you leaned, Jon didn’t even somewhat change the manner which he held and toyed with the baby’s attention. As if handling you was no more a strain then caring for his son, as if it came natural to him and only him, dealing with both. “Darling, that isn’t-”

He stopped his own words once you shook your head. The sting behind your eyes making it look a lot more clear what was brewing behind the demeanour you attempted to keep yourself with. “It is. She was looking at me like she didn’t trust me anymore. Everyone keeps looking at me like that. They watch me do something as simply as hold our son and they appear as if they expect having to jump in and take him from me for his own safety. As if I’m-” You cut yourself off as Jons eyes widened in a mixture of worry and a horror that you’d ever stray back down that path leading to such self destruction. Swallowing, the lump falling down the back of your throat did not clear the warmth in your face or the sting or even the rising heart beat with your now drastically increasingly working lungs. “I know what people are starting to say about me, and some days I’m not sure why you don’t believe them either.”

Jon only looked with that soft plead, the one which made it so difficult to say anything against. The baby in his arms only made such a task harder. You knew right away however, he was in a ploy against you. He and little Eddard looked so drastically similar that there was no way to deny he’d grow up to look just like his father. Cradling him in one arm comfortably, he was still small enough that Jon saw no issue with it.

Maester Wolkan had said he was the size which was appropriate for a newborn such as he, but it still felt as if he was small. As if that full month of days you had failed to provide him of growth, were which what would deprive him for good. As if there was no way to fix it now, and yet as he brought him closer to you, your insides melted regardless. Your softness was so close for both of them that he knew just what would make you listen to him with little push back. One hand coming up to gently cup your cheek, Jon turned you up to look at him better.

A gentle rasp which lived in your blood in comfort, your eyes almost fluttering shut at the sound easing the tension in your blood. “I’m not keeping you from him because of this. You’ve never hurt him before, you won’t now.” Adding before you had a chance to say it, “Not even on accident. I don’t care what other people think. They’re not part of this. You’re the mother of my child, I trust you.”

Nodding, Jon tilted your head up more to get a better look at him once more. Thumb running over what of your skin he could reach, almost denying himself the urge to lean in close to you as if not willing to sacrifice his ability to see your eyes. A peek into your truth better then any else could sometimes it seemed. Letting one hand leave your wrapped position on your stomach, you pushed the material of his sleeve up just enough to grasp his wrist, your own thumb finding his pulse. Still strong.

Tilting your head a bit into this touch, Jon leaned forward just the slightest to keep your gaze as you mumbled. “It’s getting worse.”

Shaking his head slightly, Jon never let up his gentle touch. “It was this bad before, we just don’t know why it stopped for a while.” He was not entirely wrong. Bran didn’t know what it was, he wasn’t doing anything to even remotely control it, which was how it had accidentally been functioning before.

He looked willingly into some memory you knew nothing of, and he would end up putting your eyes there with him, almost like looking through you made that easier. As if despite not being his blood, Bran could connect to these sights and sounds better with someone to channel this strange energy through, but this was different. This was out of nowhere, wild, lacking any one’s control and none of the times since this begun had it happened when he was anywhere near doing it.

Lord Howland wanted to speak to you however, he and Meera both had experience which seemed a bit closer to what you were experiencing as opposed to the complexities of Bran. Much of what was going on with him was going unsaid, and it felt as if time was running thin for him and you both to act vague.

“The only person who got hurt the last time was myself.” Jon tried to argue you had not hurt anyone this time either, but again, looking at the small bundle snuggled happily in his fathers hold, his son was so small. It would only take one bad day to ruin that and all of this. “How many times can luck be on my side at this rate?”

Sliding his had to the back of your head, Jon pulled you close. Pressing his lips firmly to your forehead and mumbling against them. “You won’t hurt him. You care about his well being, you don’t care about your own.” Opening your mouth, Jon pulled back with a raised brow with the briefest hint of amusement. “You can’t deny that one.”

Were you less on edge, you may have even huffed a breath of laughter. Glancing down, only the faintest trace of a jest came from you. “He seems fine right where he is now.”

That time, a much more real laugh came from Jon. Bright and wide as he kept his grip down at the back of your neck tilting you both to glance down better. “I’m warmer, you’re softer. Trade one for the other.” Prompting you to look once more at him better, Jon mumbled as he dropped the tone unbefitting of your still prominent insecurity. “You’re taking him. End of story.” Waiting for you to nod, Jon left one more kiss to your forehead before transferring the small bundle into your arms.

A weight in your chest at how easily little Eddard turned happily to snuggle into your touch, only brought a much more affectionate chuckle from Jons chest. Tilting your gaze somewhat to look at the baby better, you only muttered in a somewhat false bemusement, “Don’t rub it in.”

You didn’t quite know how much you bought into what he was saying, it all made sense logically of course, but there was a difference between agreeing and understanding. One which no doubt Jon himself was fully aware of, but the constant following of eyes both grey and red were something which never actually went away. Watching like a hawk, keen eyes of both white wolves on your state through the course of the morning. And of course, how much you were pretending as if you couldn’t see that while he watched with a gentle care and concern, the rest watched with trepidation and worry.

If not outright fear of your strange unknowns.

Sometimes it was luck when moments were of such calm. The ability to sit and listen while both you could be seen with a level head and the bundle in your arms too was quiet. Jon was not shy about it, he was not in any consideration to hide away his wife and son from the public court as you knew many would have done otherwise. But if he were to have you at his side, he was not going to keep you from it all just because of the child in your arms.

Little Eddard was scarcely disruptive anyways. Or perhaps you and Jon both merely found it easy for you both to pick up on when he needed something and why. Which was not terribly hard to do for most of your life. Being in and out of the Starks lives as the youngest were born and grew up, and too being there for the first many months of Shireen’s life you were familiar with what a fussiness looked like before it became an issue. Too it seemed, those who watched the proceedings of the court tended to enjoy the presence of the baby. Eyes always drawn to him and gods help when he’d begin making any innocent noises, did eyes and ears all turn to him instantly.

Were he to notice, the little one tended to turn shyly into your person from all of the attention. You’d shift to keep him closer to you and lower from the eyes of the onlookers but that too tended to draw attention. Never did Jon let that interrupt him, he hardly would falter on things which might draw others from the topic or issue at hand. Jon handled both seamlessly at the same time.

Still, it was odd to consider. Strange that despite everything, you sat beside Jon as a Queen and the son in your arms was not just your own, but to all others, a Prince. In your life within Kings Landing never did such a series of titles cross your mind. Princes were spoiled and rotten like Joffery, or sweet innocent blond boys like Tommen. Princess’s were elegant but kind like Myrcella. They were not things which belonged near you.

Born a highborn lady, daughter to the eldest brother of the King. In the royal family was what you were since the time you were born but never did it really feel as such. Why would it though? Where were you in the line of royal succession? Sixth you supposed. Beyond sons and brothers and passed the once supposed daughter of the King, then put you. In the only scenario one could have painted to you, would it lead you anywhere near the word Queen attached to you.

Looking passed Robert, his sons, brothers, and daughter would have to be wiped out to put you there and of course the thought was ridiculous. You’d stand to the side of the throne room in the Red Keep and feel fine knowing you’d never have reason to be placed so near the Iron Throne. Yet it was not being wiped out that put you as close as you technically could be now.

In one fell swoop of truth, were three of those spots gone. Joffery may have called himself a King, Tommen may do so now but that did not make it true. Not that you blamed the later, just a boy when all of this occurred and he was likely still none the wiser. How much people told him anything of significance regarding the rumours around him, you imagined was very little. Still though, with now not Baratheons but Lannisters unlawfully sitting on the Iron Throne, it put you down to third. Then Renly was gone. And the only rightful heir to the Iron Throne at the top with every right to it was Stannis Baratheon.

Were you to agree to it, you’d be second in line. The creeping words of Princess came to mind which no matter what any thought of you, sounded awful with your name. You were nothing like what a Princess was raised to be, nor did anything of the Iron Throne appeal to you. Instead, you found yourself skipping that step in a very odd way.

Greatjon Umber had stood up and declared the only King he’d bend his knee to was Robb Stark, and was declarations of King in the North rung out in the cool night air, did you by his side as wife, become a Queen. Even now, by the side of Jon were you still a Queen. The son in your arms a Prince and would become King next after his father. It was all such an odd place for your life to end up.

Yet it was nothing you knew, compared to Jon. He was born a bastard, not a scrap of this, you, or his son were something he ever thought he’d have because he was not in the rights of the land for any of it but here he sat beside you. The only King which Robb trusted to follow him in death, and every step of the way his choice was proven to be the right one. But there was a known which was entirely unknown to the rest of the country.

You doubted if by now there was any whom had not heard well of Aegon’s actions. Said to be the son of Rhaegar Targaryean and Elia Martell, he was once dead but apparently had lived. Now somewhere in the south he was preparing to take the throne of a family whom never deserved it, but it was not just him, was it? You had joked and jested but neither you nor Jon spoke a word about it in anything close to meaningful.

It was all there, the manner which Joffery had tried to have all of Roberts bastards killed, that were he not legitimate as was rumoured, that a known bastard connected to the father through blood might be the ones with a claim stronger. Yet the one which none of the realm knew about sat next to you as a Stark proudly named Snow, as was his wife and son next to him. It was all strange. A compilation of bloodlines drenched within that of Kings and yet none of it went addressed between either of you, let alone spoken to another soul.

As you sat there, Jons voice strong and his ability to listen keenly was unmatched. He was calm and as good of a King as a man could aspire to be and yet the insurmountable things working against him? It was hard to follow even the logic in your own head, everything felt like it was hard to follow right now.

Nothing felt right in your mind and little of it did you understand. Dreams were one thing, visions another, but it was as if you were unable to focus. A dark brewing cloud you did not really understand was following overtop your head and no one could make sense of it all. No words seemed to hit you from the past few minutes, likely more. Underwater and the speak above the surface was muddled and unclear, no matter how often you found yourself attempting to blink back into focus.

Small grabbing hands could sometimes draw you forth and your eyes drifted downwards with a soft smile only matched by the infant one giving you those bright curious eyes in the first place. Asking you in silence what was wrong, so easily picking up on your state of mind when no one else was able to outloud. Even if the little one could use words, you just knew something felt off. Moreso then usual, and you knew not what to chalk it up to without sounding as if you were dwelling too much on what already was going on with you.

Instead you sat, and only hoped that your silence was being taken as fair and dutiful rather then the confusion settling in your blood and bones. Only, if you thought you could hide that fact from Jon, you were rather wrong. His focus might have been on his people now, but still was there room in his mind for you, and the way you hardly reacted to anything was always a giveaway that Jon would store to handle later.

Only with a glance up, could you see the questioning eyes of Howland Reed. Something as it always was directed towards you, a knowing of something to what was occurring in your mind. And a flicker of his eyes to where the outside sat by the snow covered heart tree, you knew the question being posed. Your nod was small and a subtle yes, but he understood it perfectly well.

The sensation of Jons gaze glancing towards you came about, turning only somewhat to direct a small false smile which he knew did not meet your eyes at him. A public smile, one for the people watching to think everything was fine, and too one that was as disingenuous between you both which spoke that you could only hope he wouldn’t worry.

The narrowing greys looking back at you in something akin to a frown, gave away the opposite.

Grey eyes weren’t the only ones watching, of course you were right in a sense about people looking at you in a strange curiosity, but you knew Jon was not going to give credit to the ones he had encountered. Out of all of them left, Sansa was the most out of the loop. She didn’t know the details of what went on and why, or what led to this or that when it came to the whispers about you, or about Jon.

There was no way at this point she had not heard some or even most of it, but she had yet to ask. Gaze seeking out yours which did not reciprocate, and neither did Jons. Aryas however, seemed to be the ones who noticed where Sansa’s attention was drawn too, and keeping your eyes forward you hoped the girls discussed it together, and not went to you about it. Just one night you needed, one to yourself and Jon and little to interfere.

Your mind only tuning in near the very end it felt to the sound of Jons voice to whom it was he was speaking to at that moment. “Will that be enough to repair your walls?”

A thankful nod and bow given from the older man, “It is, your grace. Thank you, your grace.”

Looking to the room around for any standouts and then both sides to the council up with you both, “If that is all, my lords.” The sounds of chairs and doors and feet got moving, before you could even think to carefully swivel to stand easier, did you feel a warm hand grasping firmly at your side. Turning to look, Jon only moved to grasp at your hip on the other side of you to get you on your feet.

A hum close to something like a laugh in your throat as you looked up at him, arms still firmly holding the awake but calmly content baby. “I can still stand on my own, you are aware.”

Jon only tilted his head a bit, a smirk coming over him as he cocked an eyebrow at you for half of a second. “That doesn’t mean I won’t do it anyways.” Gesturing downward to the bundle in your arms as if pointing out the obvious. “Besides, you’re still carrying my child.”

Your brows narrowed in a more playful manner, but said nothing. You knew technically he was right, he was merely being smart about it. Leaving your hip, Jon let his hand run over the top of the baby’s head. A small nonsensical cry coming from him, prompting a bright and handsome smile looking back down at his son, almost causing a wider one back. A heartwarming sensation filled your chest at how similar father and son both were, how much fatherhood suited Jon without even trying.

An interrupting voice cut in from behind both of you, prompting Jon to turn you by your hip to follow and yet not quite leaving a hand from you almost in a stranger display with the amount of people still around. “What is going on with you exactly?”

Sansa stood with narrow eyes but not in what one would call suspicious. Jon withheld what was an instant twitch in his jaw, no doubt from the manner she said it but you took no offence for your own behalf. Adjusting your hold so Jon did not have to leave his gentle touch to his son as you looked up to her with much more of a purposeful calm. “I don’t suppose saying just having some odd dreams is sufficient?”

Only whatever temporary deflection Jon had in mind for you, it was interrupted with the just as curious Arya coming up beside her with an equally as narrow eyed look towards both of you. “We know something else is going on that neither of you are talking about. What is it?” A glance between you both, Arya picked up on it and cut in before a diplomatic response was formed. “Both of you, and Bran. You’re all hiding something weird that’s going on.”

Bran coming up behind all of you looked to you then Meera pushing behind with a hesitant look matching all four of you, Lord Howland approaching quietly much to your relief. “Perhaps this is a discussion best had elsewhere.”

Again, there was no confusion the manner which he looked at you. A promise that answers were had but you knew first there would only be answers upon answers which you did not wish to answer. You had not even wished to divulge a bit of the things which you saw when speaking to Ser Royce. You had only one saviour that day and there was no reaction but the overcoming of white eyes to accompany your disturbed silence. But those who could see you clearly, still saw it.

There felt like no hiding, everyone wanted answers to something you did not understand. You could know an endless amount about it and still not know how to word a single solitary part which one did not experience for themselves. A hesitant look wider in your eyes glanced up to Jon, the hand still at your side tightened with his jaw clenching a bit more. “Meet us in the godswood just after supper.”

Both sisters glancing at the other, but noticing the ones shared between yourself, Jon, Bran and both Reeds with something hesitant all in an understanding of what was to be explained, or even how.

Jon guiding you away however, he only got you as far as a quieter corridor before he gently pushed you enough for you to get the idea. Back finding itself resting against the wall, shifting the baby in your arms, Jon let that hand at your side rise up to cup your cheek much more firmly. His other grasping at your hip stepping into your space, more now crowding you against the wall with not an ability to touch him back.

His plan no doubt.

The bundle turning from looking out to the world, snuggling more into your front as the warmth from Jon cocooned him, tempting sleep as fast as could be. A mumbling rasp on his lips, thumb running over your cheek as you both looked down to little Eddard. “If you weren’t so possessive of her, I’d join you.”

A roll of your eyes was followed by a smile at his audacity, bright grey eyes peering up at you with something smug and prideful before he leaned forward. Not any shame as Jon captured your lips, pulling you by your cheek so you had nowhere to go. Soft lips guiding yours as you melted into him, only able to lean into his reach despite your hands itching to seek out something of him to grasp onto.

Slow he moved his lips with yours, each breath stolen deepening the kiss without failure. A needing feeling always flooded you whenever Jon kissed you, crowding you with his warmth as he stood over you with the power to keep you attached to his lips with no issue. Each time it seemed as if Jon was about to pull away from you, did he lean back into your kiss. Refuse you the thought that it would be brief as that word slowly died off the longer he kissed you.

Only, someone else no doubt had their thoughts on the matter. The small babbles sounded less and less happy coming from between you both as suddenly did the little bundle shift in your arms. Jon however, as if already having sensed it, kept you attached to his lips a moment or two longer. Lingering from pulling away, and only doing so enough he could tilt your head down from the back of your neck. Foreheads pressed against each other as your eyes were a bit dazed and his bright with a grin looking down to the now much grumpier baby.

His free hand shamelessly running along your hip as if he had no qualms with the competition for your attention occurring. “She was mine first.” You almost laughed at the sound coming from the baby, as if he were protesting loudly without the ability to form proper words. Jon only gave a playful look as his hand on the back of your neck tightened as did the one on your hip. “You spend more time with her then I do. Sometimes I need to steal some of your time for myself, you know.”

“Jon.” A huff of laughter came from him as Jon peeled his eyes back up at you. Shifting his grip so his thumb reached your jaw to tilt you back up to his gaze. Leaning close enough to gently run his nose along the length of yours, returning the gesture to him back did Jon steal another kiss. Shorter and more innocent that time, but still as lingering as the rest could be. Mumbling against his lips as he pulled back, staying close you could feel his breath dancing across your skin. “I’m sorry for the meeting.” Asking why, you thought it was obvious, very much sounding as if you were confused why he didn’t know right away. “I was hardly there. I don’t even know if I spoke the entire time. I should be more present at things like this.”

Shaking his head only once, Jon nudged your nose with his once more as if to keep the air of calm and intimate between you as he rasped so close to you. “We handled everything fine, darling. It’s enough that you’re there. I don’t need you feeling like you have to step in every step of the way. We’ve been over this. How many more times do you need me to say it before it sinks into your head?”

A shrug of your shoulder, Jon let a smile creep out onto his lips. That time you captured his lips first, albeit noticeably much more sweet and chaste then any he’d give you himself. “That doesn’t mean I’m not going to apologize.”

A deep exhale, Jon gave you another nod before moving from your hip to run over the top of the baby’s head. His warmth, just as it did for you, causing little Eddard to squirm closer to the heat without failure, pulling another gentle chuckle from Jon. Not yet looking away from the sight as you did, Jon spoke that time both a little more quiet but more with an edge of seriousness. “What are we going to tell them?”

Neither of you needed to specify what he meant. Your own turn to sigh, you leaned more against the wall comfortably as Jon instinctively followed suit, keeping your main sight of vision to himself. “That depends.” Asking you on what, you could only keep it as straight forward as possible. “On how much you and I are ready to talk about it. Any of it.”

Eyes narrowing as he looked back down to the baby, then drifting upwards back to you. Jons face twisted, something more troubled then before yet still soft as ever as he tilted his head a bit looking at you for a long, quiet moment. Deep and raspy when he spoke, the weight of everything seeping into his tone gave hints to his actual feelings on the matter only ever shown to you. “I talked to Sam about some of this. The other night after everyone else left. Some of the things he found while we were gone, it matches what we saw. I know you don’t like talking about what happened, but we’re not going to be able to ignore it forever.”

“I know that, I just...” Cutting yourself off, your eyes fluttered shut as your teeth sunk down on your tongue. Never able to rid yourself of such a habit. At such a young age, a girl of only three or four being told by your septa that you should bite your tongue to keep yourself from having such overly dramatic reactions. Keeping you as stone faced as possible as over the years the pain needed to do so kept increasing, Jons touch cupping your cheek and jaw running his thumb over knowing instantly what you were doing. But still waited for you to find your voice. “How are we supposed to tell them the what, when I still haven’t figured out the why?”

Brows furrowing, Jon kept his touch by your jaw as if to prompt you not to return to such a straining habit of nerves. “I told you-”

Cutting him off, your eyes were a glossy sort of brightness that were sunk in something more distressing then you wanted to give off, but at least here in the small bubble of only you three was it picked up on. “You were given the answers, I was supposed to understand the reasons. But I still don’t. I didn’t then, I don’t know, and I have no idea how any of this works with me to know how to do it.”

You wished Jon didn’t say it, but of course, he had the right answer for that specific conundrum. “Bran might know how.” Almost biting down again, Jons grip grew tighter to stop it in its tracks. To an onlooker, you both would look a mix of intimate but controlling. Close in the others alone proximity, but Jons grip on your cheek and jaw looked worse then it was for. He was controlling, just not in the way it may appear. Some days you wondered if Jon was almost more a Collie. Dogs bred to heard sheep and cattle. Not aggressive but they certainly came off that way to the untrained eye.

Looking to nothing off to the side, only a pillar Jon kept you by to shield from wandering gazes passing the halls, you muttered more under your breath as you shifted your grip on the baby almost as if to move him more so you held him in a comforting manner to yourself. “Bran still won’t even tell us how he knew we were out there, or how he knew what was happening. I don’t know how much it will help him with what he’s going through by adding what’s wrong with me on top of it.”

It wasn’t a blame, nowhere near that, but sometimes to an outsider, when Jon said something blunt and to the point it could come off as a bit on the judgmental side when you knew he didn’t mean it. “He did this to you. He needs to be the one to help you.”

You only echoed what Bran had told little of what he said to you. “He didn’t mean to do this.” Jon only specified that he still did it, you tried to shake your head a little. It was the first time either of you said anything outloud even alluding to the fact, but it needed to be brought out at some point. “The only reason he knew he could do it to me was because you did it first.”

Jon said nothing, he knew nothing about how to respond to it. What was going unsaid, but like you, Jon knew you did not say it with blame or ire, simply stating a fact that was uncomfortable to hear, and near impossible to comprehend with any form of rationality. It was all complicated. What Benjen had said was right. Everyone seemed to have a piece of this puzzle but none of you were willing to step forward and lay out the first one for the rest to connect towards.

Finding your voice first again, you asked in a low voice as if trying to take that first step on your own in a small way. “What exactly did you and Sam discuss? That he found out while we were gone?”

It wasn’t an answer that you picked up on, and for once, it felt as if Jon too was keeping part of that story to himself. Someone you didn’t even realize that he knew, which you didn’t. Or why he had told Sam but not you. Not anything enough to make you feel as if something of your trust had been shattered, but certainly you felt a growing dread. What you already knew, and Jon didn’t want to tell you something about it?

Instead, gesturing for you to come with him. A hand wrapping across your back to pull your hip, turning you to walk beside him and pressed right up against his side, letting that same hand drift once more to your back, sitting at your lower spine. His voice only for you to hear, but the darker shade painting over his eyes and the troubled furrow in his brow begged you to try and read between the lines of what you couldn’t even decipher in the first place. “One problem at a time.”

A thick layer of snow sat around the Winterfell Godswood at all times now it seemed.

Hardly ever enough time the skies gave for the snow to disappear before more fell down and blanketing the North once more in such a way that made the normally thought of dreary and grey waste, appear in the beauty it always deserved to be looked at in. Easy to track who or how many went where in such a state, footprints normally were always covered by the drags of a cloak down behind them, but the path could be followed none the less. The only things individually seen in walking form, were two sets of very large paw prints making their way to the same location. Too their size made normal tracks of wolves much larger and easier to detect.

It was as if nature was sending warnings in two forms against an outsider, that no matter where you went the wolves were never gone. Too was it however, a rare instance in which Jon agreed when you would suggest it may be safer for him to take the baby. For what you may need to do you couldn’t be holding him, but too did you find yourself peeking to the side.

Unfair how matching they looked. Father and son so natural out in the snow of winter, two men truly of the North. Jon kept him warmer without needing to hide him in as much layers as you would, his natural body heat so warm that you were surprised much of the time it didn’t simply melt the snow in his path.

As both of you made your path down to the Weirwood, there sat an air of uncertainty that no doubt only Sansa and Arya felt out of the loop on. The later spoke up first with a much more noticeable air of frustration. “What’s this all about?” Gesturing specifically towards yourself she added, “What’s so secret about what’s going on with you?”

Sansa seemed to match the air of her sister, a quieter spoken but equally as sensed irritation on being so out of the loop. “And why are we,” Gesturing between her and Arya, “The only ones who don’t seem to know about it?”

All attending looked at one another, and yet as you suspected, no one knew how to start, or what to start with. Did it begin chronologically? Paint a timeline and go from that, or where it had begun to pick up in the most important ways? Just as a knowing glance was shared between yourself and Howland Reed, did Bran find that courage and begin speaking where he seemed to think it made the most sense.

“I started having strange dreams after my fall.” Eyes all turning with a haze over most eyes of the Starks which was a sorrow for something each of the remaining ones had to leave before he even woke up from, but Bran continued regardless. No doubt enough time for him had passed that it seemed less important to dwell on those specifics. “They were always the same in a way. A crow with three eyes, he’d try to tell me things, show me things. I didn’t think much of them at first, until..” Brans own gaze that time welled over with something heavy that he refused to hide away. “Until one night, the crow brought me down to the crypts. And showed me father was buried there. But I didn’t know until the next morning that he had...”

No one finished that sentence for him. No one wanted too.

“They kept happening after that. I dreamt about the Ironborn invading Winterfell just days before it happened. The three eyed crow was always there, but the dreams weren’t the only thing.” It did not fail your notice that the only Stark sibling whom did not know what Bran was speaking of when he begun describing what they’d later all learn was being a Warg, that Sansa did not at all know what he was talking about. “We escaped after they tried to burn Winterfell down. We were trying to reach the Wall to get to Jon when-”

That time it was Meera who spoke up, and the heavy weight being forced back down her throat with each word spoke of a pain all here knew too well of loss. “That was when my brother and I found them.” Meera specifying to Sansa when she asked in a repeat of the word brother. “Jojen. A few years younger then me, he always had dreams. He saw things from the past, the future, things that were happening around the world in those moments even. The ones from the past were always true, and they were always stories we never even knew about until we looked into them after. He had the same dream as Bran, when his father was murdered.”

Only yourself and Jon noticed the overbearing weight within Howland’s eyes at the mention. Strange that none but you both understood in such detail what the truth of that friendship was, and you could only pray he felt the sorrow coming from your soul wishing to give any comfort to his. No matter how little it would do.

Meera went into detail, how Jojen begun seeing things, seeing Bran, and eventually when he too had the same dreams and visions of a three eyed crow and the coming winters, did they tell their father. And it was him who told them that they needed to find Bran as soon as possible. Already prepared he was, to answer the question on Sansa and Arya’s minds. “Both you girls grew up during the long summer. This is the first true winter you’ve ever known, and many of us could feel something in the air was different this time. Something was coming with this cold that didn’t before.”

Benjen did not need to even him to elaborate, he knew better then all here about that feeling. “My rangers kept coming back with disturbing reports. They saw men stand up after they died and tried to attack them. They’d flee south, claiming that the Others were awake.” Much like what Arya’s initial reaction had been, Sansa’s face scrunched up in a disbelief.

“The Others? From those spooky stories? They aren’t real. They’re just things Old Nan used to try and scare us with.”

Yet if that were true, the reaction between the rest of you wouldn’t have been so painfully serious and covered in a thickly coated dread. Bran took it back from there, not even giving her the moment of reprieve to accept what had been put out there. “Meera and Jojen found me, and knew we needed to go north. Beyond the Wall. The three eyed crow told Jojen in that dream that he needed to find me, and bring me to him.” Arya that time was the one asking that this crow even was, but it had you hesitate the moment you thought to answer. You..well technically you knew the answer to that in a way he didn’t. But you didn’t have a clue how to bring that up or what it would do or add. It merely sat in your mind as something only which pertained to you it felt. “It’s difficult to describe. The three eyed crow is a man, someone with powers to see the world in ways no one else can. The dreams I’d have but bigger, and almost endless if they train long enough. He wanted me to be brought to him.”

Arya spoke again for Sansa’s confused silence. “Why?”

All hesitated but Benjen. “To learn to be him. The three eyed crow isn’t a man, it’s a title. Like Lord of Winterfell or King in the North. It isn’t one person, just the title for whoever holds it. And eventually, men die, and someone needs to take over their role one day. And so this time, they chose Bran.” Another ask of why, and Benjen explained it bluntly. “Because he was the right one. He had the ability, and he it takes a certain kind of man to do that. To be able to handle knowing as much as that, and not let it corrupt you. Or ruin you.” His eyes glanced to you, and it was without a doubt, on purpose as if to give them a hint.

Sansa seemed even more frustrated then before. “I’m sorry, if this is all true, what does this have to do with her?” Gesturing to you and then to Meera. “Or your brother?”

Howland had that answer, and it was just as cryptic as it felt when such things were said to you from the same man months ago. “Whoever the three eyed crow is, can give others a similar power. The Sight it’s called. The ability to see and dream events from our past and future that can help the three eyed crow on whatever path he is taking. To be their eyes where they might not have any, and do the work they cannot.”

Meeting a guilt in Brans eyes, yours softened in an instant. A begging not to blame himself for what he did not mean to do. Somewhat beside you did Lord Howland continue.

“The three eyed crow gifted my son Jojen the sight, so that he could help bring Bran to him. That was his purpose.” The swallowing of grief, as his arm reached out to run in a firm comforting manner along Meera’s now much more tense and sullen shoulders, the implication was heard and not acknowledged for their sake before he found his calm beyond a strain in his voice and more distant eyes looking to you. “Now that gift is hers. The dreams and visions, that is what she is experiencing. That is what you’ve seen and heard. Her mind is connected through her blood to the great powers of the old gods now. A servant to the three eyed crow as the three eyed crow is a servant to the gods.”

That time your glance was shared with Jon, and one you both knew only you two had a single idea about. Another which you both dared not speak to others. It would be much easier for your mind were you only a servant with purpose to one thing or person. Instead your new existence was stretched thin, tied to posts of different camps and asked to fulfill the duty of them all. Your voice was fair and faint, but all heard your quiet nature anyways. “I have these visions because Bran gifted them to me.”

You felt for both girls, the overload of such strange information that none here understood completely themselves. As if mere men were not supposed to understand. You stood before a Weirwood, and only they knew the truths, only they could comprehend it. You all were merely here to act for them in whatever ways bestowed upon you, no matter how difficult to accept it was.

Sansa at least said it bluntly, “I thought someone else was the three eyed crow?”

Bran was quick, as suddenly only those who had met out beyond the Wall understood with a feeling of gravity weighing you all down. “There was. He isn’t anymore. It’s just me now.” Asking with a mighty confusion that Bran was this crow, he nodded with a solemn look that you shared. “He’s dead, and now I’m the only one left.” Saying your name in more detail, “It’s why her visions are connected to mine. I gave her the sight, so her power is tied to mine.”

Neither said it, but you and Jon both looked at the other in knowing. It was not only his, but neither of you dared explain the what or why or how if either of you brought said issue up.

Though it was Arya who felt no qualm bringing up something else then the path your mind tracked you on towards. “So, the thing that happened yesterday? Or what Ser Royce said happened the day before? That was a vision? It didn’t look like that. It looked..”

Trailing off, Brans eyes found yours, peeling over to Jons to speak an ask you didn’t even bother looking to read. You knew where this was going, it was why he held the baby. This time you didn’t know what you’d see, but it was like Bran said, it would be easier to show then explain it. With a nod from Jon, you stepped towards Bran.

His chair sitting beside the Weirwood as you gently knelt to the ground. Gloved hands braced against your thighs, your eyes looked far brighter with a radiating of trust towards him. Nothing needed to be said, you knew that he nerves already lived within him as they did you.

Behind you somewhat you could hear the shifting of feet through the snow, and Jon dismissing Sansa to just wait when asking what was happening exactly. Deep breaths kept your heart from racing and your lings from exploding from your chest with nervous air as Bran pulled one glove off. Reaching forward to the white bark just below the carved face, the moment his hand touched the bark, did his eyes seem as if they rolled over into a pure white, and within the next moment, yours followed suit.

Getting into the room when none were there was easy, staying undetected was another.

There were paths under the halls of Winterfell. Made for the Kings and Lords of the North to escape no matter where they were in the castle, but hardly were they used for any reason these days. Little did the Starks run from in such a desperation. Instead those who creeped within their path had seemed to know where they were going. Walking the halls at night was easy, but it could not be night which they traversed the path inside.

Soon enough the sun would fall beyond the skyline and the moon and stars would rise, taking its place in the darkness and those in the castle would prepare to sleep. They had to be ready. They were for the most part. A distraction would be needed, separating the two and when the unwanted party was a King, it was far easier to delay him for the night then it would be the Queen.

The room itself was not extravagant as they expected a King would hold. Much more simple, and much more of the cold winter air breezed through with a fire raging near one of the walls being the main source of warmth beyond the furs laying about otherwise. Out in the open everything was in the main room, nowhere to hide not even a screen some used to change behind for modesty.

Curiously, the older man noted the smaller bed tucked against one of the walls by the main bed. Blankets and small toys surrounded it as if for an infant. One looked to the other with a doubt, but the older man dismissed it with a gruff hiss through his cracked and discoloured, rotted teeth. “Deal with the she wolf first.”

The second room attached to the main was better. Smaller, and the largest feature a well put together tub that men such as them had never seen in their lives. Fancy beyond fancy, it paled in comparison to any other object in the side room. One had to cross a corner of tiny halls to get into the room, unseen by wandering eyes right away, they could hide here.

Only, as the main door opened, a gentle hum followed. High pitched and were it to sing, likely would be somewhat off tune but also followed by a deeper voice. Cracked somewhat as if attached to a growing boy as he gave orders to the other humming voice who came in, and the door closed behind them. “Make sure to set out extra of the darker oils, and small cloths hung by the edge in plenty.” A pause was heard as if a face was made, and the boy spoke with a bit more impatience, yet still attempting to be nice. “The King prefers to handle the tasks himself when the Queen takes her bath. He doesn’t want anyone around.”

The voice was less nice then the hum sounded, but the tone was quick and not at all refined sounding, even less so then the boy. “The King is so romantic-” The men could almost hear the boy rolling his eyes from where they were pressed against the wall.

“I don’t care if it’s romantic, I care that you have everything in order. It will be my head if the King or Queen arrive and find everything in disarray because you weren’t listening.” A new maid no doubt. One looked at the other, and there was no qualms about that one. No one would miss a nameless maid if it got in their way.

At first the door opened and closed once more, and firstly thinking that they were alone again, until the gentle patter of shoes against the stone tiles crept closer and closer. Just as the young woman turned into the main room, did the clang of a bucket hit the ground. Smashing of glass oils followed and other sturdier objects rolling onto the ground from it’s depths.

The only sound not heard, was what came beyond the initial start of a gasp before what joined the oils spilling against the floor, was liquid. A copious amount of red liquid, and the thump of a body hitting the bottom of the tub which kept it just out of sight. Then the main door opened once again and the boy called back out as if he had forgotten one more instruction.

It like before, happened before Bran could stop it, and once it begun it didn’t end no matter who did what.

Leaning forward did Bran grasp at your shoulder in one, Howland Reed kneeling calm by the other as Meera was perched to the side of Brans chair leaning more towards you with a concern which looked almost instinctual on her face. The oddity as your breath came to you in heaps that this was something the three closest around you were used to by this point.

Beyond your vision, Sansa now held the more perturbed baby as Jon made his way behind you, kneeling down as he just hovered over the top of your head. His warmth giving away his presence in your subconscious, leaning into his touch as he cupped the back of your neck with one hand, a squeezing pressure to tell you to stay in the moment, the other grasping at your hip under where Brans hand held by your upper arm.

Howland Reed stayed without making any contact but held the most steady expression then even his daughter did. Benjen and Arya both made their way to the opposite side of you both, and the strange feeling came about, that your display no doubt, must have been a horrid sight. Looking up with more gasping type breaths to Bran did your voice mutter out in weakness, “Did you mean to-”

Shaking his head, it only added to the weight in your heart filling with a dread that had been there since the morning. “I had to...it was like I lost you in there. I had to find where you were and couldn’t get you out of there even when I did.”

Meera looked between you and Bran before kneeling down moreso like her father in front of you, a skin of water she pulled from her side almost moving to make your hand grasp it. “You should drink something.” Even in the cold air, you felt the sweat surrounding your hair and brushing over your skin when everyone else could be seen with colour in their cheeks from the cold alone. Nodding with a thanks in your eyes, you never felt Jons touch leave you as you downed nearly half in one sip.

Jon rasping low in you ear of what did you see, but you didn’t know how to speak it aloud. Something odd felt about it and vocalizing it was a challenge. But yet the words you spoke, the sensation rippled through more then one person there that it was not quite from your own thoughts, but an echo of something else that Arya had already heard the night before, yet it made even less sense now. “There is a beast beneath the boards.”

Just as Sansa stepped beside Arya, asking what was going on, Jon took proper control. “Quiet, all of you. Let her breathe.” Prompting you to stand up, Jon acted as a guide to move you mostly for him until you were on both feet. Circling around to your front, Jon gently used a hand to guide Meera off to the side before bracing your upper arms as you reached out to rest yours against his chest. Fingertips attempting to dig into the leather as your head dropped, eyes closed attempting to shake this feeling off. Jon lowered his head more towards you with something muttered on his lips to keep you tethered to his voice. “Take your time, it’s alright.” Jon moving suddenly, your hand almost swiped to grab at his like he was leaving your touch, the hand falling flatly to his chest once more as he simply moved so one hand cupped your cheek. Voice even quieter, but with no care for the people around who heard him. “You’re with me, darling. You’re here, not there you know that.”

Nodding, you felt yourself taking deeper breaths before looking up to grey eyes watching you closely. Jon muttered quietly to Bran behind him what it was you saw, but when he paused, all eyes suddenly turned to him. Jons face twisting in an aggravation asking a second time when Bran looked at your weary gaze and back. “I don’t really know.” Questions came as quick as he cut them off with a bit of a louder anger seeping in. “I don’t know what every moment in history is, I only know what I saw when I managed to find her.”

As Jon asked what it was, you eyes glanced up to his as if something between the two of you already said you both knew. Picking at your brain you found nothing but it sat right there that something was trying to tell you and Jon what it was being shown to you and why, but still it didn’t come.

Seeing your breathing even out, Jon pulled you more into his front, your head dropping a bit to his shoulder as he let an arm come around to the other side of your head to keep you tucked there. Looking to his sisters, “You two asked what was going on with her, but we don’t know. She has these because of Bran and if he doesn’t know why hers are out of control..”

Shifting so you could see the baby looking wide eyed towards his mother and father, you glanced up to Jon, nodding your head in that direction with a question in your eyes. “You should take him for the night.” Jon protested, saying you already discussed this, but the urgency in your voice too was as out of the loop as most here all felt watching the rest of it. “No, Jon. I think you need to take him.”

“Why?”

Only, eyes looking at his skeptical ones, then around and around before landing on the now more fussy moving baby wishing to reach out to you, did you sigh. You didn’t know why, and he knew it. Kissing the side of your head, Jon only mumbled for you to take him from Sansa. Ignoring the others for the moment, he watched as you cradled little Eddard close with something weary deep within you.

Hardly moving from the spot did they talk around you. More and more you felt as you did earlier, your mind refusing to listen as again and again you felt your mind and body elsewhere. The morning was trapped in your own passed, but now it was trapped within someone else’s, and the horror you felt as theirs without knowing why you were hurled into such images.

Your voice recalling a pleading to take their place, your life instead of theirs but the faces of those whom were all around you were little more then blurs. Only the interruption of a guard coming forth had the voices all around come to a sudden halt. “My greatest apologies for the interruption your grace, but there is a situation I believe requires your immediate attention.” Your eyes flew up to Jons with a beg, but you didn’t know why. You cradled little Eddard closer to your chest protectively, but you didn’t know why. The air felt incorrect. Something felt as if it was not right where you stood or anywhere else around you.

Only Jons voice did you hear, a kiss to the side of your head as he muttered for you to put the baby down for now. “Olly should’ve had the maids draw a bath for you by now. Don’t do anything, I’ll handle things when I get back. I want you to relax first, alright?”

He didn’t let you go until you said yes, but again, you didn’t understand why you kept hesitating as you parted ways from him once leaving the godswood. But the halls were growing more and more quiet, and at the very least you could rely on that later in the evening did Theon listen to your requests to be left alone once heading to Jons chambers. Needing the quiet when all day surrounded by guards, you could rely on that peace to settle the strange feeling in your head.

The room was quiet as you entered, no sign that the maid had been close by any time soon, meaning that at best, the bath drawn was not as scolding hot as it would’ve been freshly poured. Laying little Eddard down in his bed, you ran your hand across his cheek as a smile finally graced your features.

Whispering with a gentle lull as you ran your hand over the top of his head as his eyes begun to blink, worming his way into a comfortable position. Not yet leaving him until he fell asleep, always doing so faster with your or Jons touch. “You and your father have your hands full with me, let’s just hope you you born with the best of him instead of the worst from me. Give you even a fighting chance at being taken seriously.”

A mumble of nonsense on his lips before his hooded eyes finally dropped and breathing in his chest evened out. For a moment, you felt more peace come over you as you stood watching him sleep for a good while. Gently pulling the fur from your shoulders and hanging it properly, you stepped from your boots and made your way to the side room, as the outer dress slipped from your body and draping it over the side of a cabinet, only a thin dress and your shift under left as you made your way into the much brighter room.

But there was no water. In fact, there was a mess of what looked like the starts of a bath, then a struggle of things to the floor, then blood. Blood trailing from the floor up the steps to the tub, and painted over a young woman with wide eyes drained of any colour or life splayed out inside.

Lungs stopping with a fear rushing through you, a muffled sound drew you up further to a sight which then put your heart into a painful pounding. Tied and gagged with a terrible fear was Olly, desperately trying to say something to you through a muffle but all you could think was that fear. That voice not your own but whispered aloud as if in the mystery of your mind did it all connect. “The rats..”

The moment you sensed it, you turned to face a large figure standing in the frame way to the main room of Jons chambers.

Two figures were knelt down on either side of Jon looking at the sight. Laid out by the courtyard, a body of a man Jon didn’t recognize but the sight was more ghastly then he had expected. The mans throat had been cut so deep that were one to pick his corpse from the ground, there was a mighty chance the head would detach and fall to the ground with a splat. But it was not just that which stood out, the clothes did not look fitting. As if they had been put on right before or just after having his life hacked away at.

Around his neck was a cheaply made cloak, the fur surrounding the shoulders was no doubt that of a small fox, but the head remained in tact save for the eyes which were bloody and gouged out, no doubt done so from the dead mans own supply as drops could be seen down his collarbones dripping to the fur. Theon knelt next to him on his right, gloved hand looking over the rest of the body, pockets and whatnot to see if anything else could give a form of an answer as Jon turned his head somewhat to his left.

“And you found him out here like this all alone?”

Nodding, Gendry kept a look similar to that which you would give when put off by an unseemly scene, an eyebrow raised as he frowned in a more well put together disgust. “I was alone when I found him, but what’s strange is that no one I’ve asked recognizes him.” Both men turned to the other as Jons face twisted in a more discontent as Gendry gave a single nod as if to indicate he understood how he felt about that. “No one even heard anything. It’s like someone killed them then dumped him out here.”

Hovering at his back, Jon could hear the passing speculations of the now more crowded onlookers as Arya circled around to join next to Gendry with a disgust in her own face. “Why would someone come into the castle walls just to dump a body no one recognizes?”

Theon piped up without even glancing from what he had been doing, “Divert attention so whoever did it can make a run for it through Winter Town?”

Mumbling more, Jon felt something was off about it. “Maybe.” Glancing upwards, he could see Ghost hovering by an edge of the crowd with stern eyes, both wolves making eye contact as Jon attempted to decipher what his direwolf was saying, but it was much like he was. Something felt off out of nowhere, but neither knew why. “Or, maybe it’s here to distract us.” Looking up and around nothing stood out as out of the ordinary right away. “Keep us here while someone does something somewhere else.”

Arya asking what that would be, and Gendry had the more blunt version of that answer. “Something they’re not supposed to be doing.”

Pushing up from the snowy ground, Jon turned to some of his men nearby as his voice projected more in the quickly darkening sky. “Start asking around Winter Town, see if anybody knows who this is or if they saw anything happen or someone suspicious making their way towards the castle walls.”

“At once, your grace.”

Arya and Gendry both made move to stand, making their way to Jons side as he held a furrow in his narrowed expression with something further bothering him about the sight. Arya asking what was on his mind, but Jon grimaced for half of a second before answering. “How many men turn up in Winterfell murdered? Every town or village has their fair share of thieves and rapers, we have more then enough tavern fights then I can count but this? When was the last time someone turned up dead this way in Winterfell that you can remember?”

Arya’s silence was balanced by a matching disturbed expression that she nor Jon knew what to think of. It was odd, that was certain, and turning up so suddenly as it got dark in the castle walls of all places when there was no other disturbance inside or out from what Jon or the guards had been aware of.

Jon appreciated the straight forward and simple manner which Gendry felt comfortable chiming in as he too stood there still. “I grew up in Kings Landing. Plenty of men turned up dead every day, no reason for more then half of them but they got drunk in the street and bumped into the wrong person.”

Shaking his head, Jons expression was withheld in thought. “There’s a million people in Kings Landing, I have a little over ten thousand in Winter Town at best. My people know my family have never taken that lightly. They have a problem that bad with someone, nine times out of then they come to us about it.”

Jon knew Gendry had a point when he said it, but it didn’t feel as if that was the whole answer. “Guess this is the tenth.”

The fox fur stood out to him, and he didn’t know why. It stood out and Jon kept looking back at it before turning away. Something about a fox was pricking at his mind, something which was but a piece of a larger series of clues to what about this felt like it stood out in a negative fashion. The eyes purposely left there to be gouged out with blood, but just as he opened his mouth with another order did Theon call to his attention.

Moving back to where he was still knelt, Theon raised up the leg of the dead mans pant, where he had somewhat pulled his boot down. A bite mark was left, small and not so serious but it was still stained red from the swollen flesh around it. “What kind of animal bite is that?”

Theon was to say he wasn’t sure, but Arya cut him off with a certainty. “A rat.” The men all turned to look at her, but she was as casual about her certainty as she was about most things. “Anything else small enough to make a mark like that he’d have to have come in from the wolfswood to have gotten it, but it wouldn’t look that fresh if he had to walk all that way before he died.”

In truth, were Jon not so preoccupied, he’d have more noticed with something aggravated in his chest at the ease which Gendry leaned his arm across Aryas back to kneel down close beside her, or how she didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Whatever in seven hells that was, he’d focus on how much he didn’t like it later. “What’s a bite from a rat stand out for?”

Jon answered first, “It’s too cold out here. Rats prefer the warmth, they’d huddle somewhere in a pile if they were out in this cold. If he came across one out here, we’d see more scattered. He got this somewhere else.” When asked where, Jon and Arya both had that answer. “The tunnels.”

Explaining to Gendry Arya did, “The tunnels are underground. Close to where the hot springs Winterfell is build on top of, if gets cold they’d all gather there. A bite that fresh, he must have been in the tunnels.”

An increase in Jons heart beat came about, that detail did not sit well with him whatsoever. The tunnels where few knew to navigate let alone knew even existed, and this man no one recognized walked through them enough to get himself bitten by a rat, stumble out where and get his neck sliced into? Theon’s voice captured Jons attention once more with a much more obvious hesitancy. “Your grace...”

Turning to him, Theon pulled his hand from the dead mans neck as if it were shoved in there after he was dead. It was small, broken and bloody but it was no blade of metal of sorts. Not something snapped from a cheap dagger, but put there on purpose. Holding it out between them did Theon and Jon stare at it with wider, disturbed gazes. Shoved in his neck as if a symbol, a sign, a message of what the body was really doing. A snapped piece of antler, from what appeared to be the very top of what belonged to-

Jon and Theon both turned to one another with eyes sharp and full of a wide fear as his stomach turned inside out, and his heart pounded in his chest. The fox, the rat, and now the antler of a stag. Within a second, Jon had called to Ghost and without a single order needed to be given did both turn to run inside the castle, barley giving anyone a chance to even blink before many followed suit, their Kings disturbance.

Your lungs both stopped and shook within you.

The large unknown man filth covered and wreaked as if they had been hiding away from anything close to a bath in years. The one in front of you was older, hair long and a stringy white as his frame encased most of the frame which you could not even see passed. Your foot took a step back on instinct, your muscles both frozen and tense looking at him as your face hardened into something like stone in smothering what fear outraged inside you.

A force sat within your voice, the shaking inside wishing to come out but not allowing it to yet take hold as you considered how little you stood around with. How far away any would be to call to help for at that instance. So instead you stood without moving and without fleeing with a hope of reason in your tone. “Who do work for?”

Their smile was obscene, the discolour in their teeth not just from a lack of hygiene but as if there had been rot set about. The look as bad as the smell which seeped from him as he chuckled too. “Smart girl, you are. Most would just scream and cry about what do we want. ‘Cept you. You could tell right away we ain’t coming in from the outside for no reason.”

Your eyes noting the rather large knife in his hand, trying to ignore it desperately from being the only thing you saw, but also not wishing to give away that you were looking for any opportunity to move.

It had been too late however, pulling it upwards in a display meant to look rather theatrical as he grinned further. “You wouldn’t believe the gold promised for you. Pissed off some mighty powerful people, girl. People who will pay in the hundreds.” Your eyes kept drifting trying to pass his frame, but he too caught that as distressing sounds of Olly muffled in the background. “Oh? Worried about your son, are you? I wouldn’t care about that, girl. Won’t mean much in a moment now, will it?”

You could not stop it, that hitch in your breath with pounded in your heart at the sudden horrific feeling, gone now or gone then you took another step backwards with a far less convincing sound coming from you, much to his pleasure. “Whatever you are being paid, I-”

“You’ll what? Double it? Can the Queen in the North pay me enough to buy me a new head? Because mine will be coming right off, if I come back without yours.” Your body burned hot, but instead of being put out by the fear you felt it grow and grow. Eating away at your remaining stillness as what would happen to your son, would would happen to Olly should you find the final end now.

What failures you would be providing Jon by leaving him now this way? You had to do something, anything. But the moment it seemed the man sensed you were about to try and shout for anyone, did you find yourself unable too.

Two large arms wrapped around you from behind, a rope thick and coarse sound it’s way over your face and into your mouth. Pulled tight behind you, your teeth had no choice but to try and stop from clamping down on it, but you were dragged further behind. Your arms flung trying to reach up and grab at the second assailant but the old man before you jumped to your front. Throwing you with them against the wall to hold you upward, the first came to you with the blade but your hands reached out.

Slicing open both still unhealed phantom wounds, the blade soaked your hand and the metal itself in red as you could hardly make any sound through the rope at the sting nor the struggle in front of you.

Trying to kick at the first, he merely stumbled before a growl came forth.

Lowering the blade only to snatch at the front of your dress as the fabric tore, tossing you behind him as the second man followed keeping your gag silent. But the struggle slammed and sounds muffled from both gagged and men aggressive did the sound of the baby begin to cry.

Stuck in his crib at the struggle ensuing beyond his sight he cried louder and louder with something that would catch attention better then you could yell for, but that fear turned into a genuine pain that if he made enough sound they might kill him to keep it quiet and again you tried grabbing at them to make anything stop.

Knocking you to your knees, the blade came to the back of your neck. Just as you felt it draw blood did you grasp again at the sharp edge and with enough energy, you lifted it up against his strength enough to try and fling yourself to the side to knock him off kilter. Free now you threw your head back against the man with a crack in your skull leaving you dazed as now every sound of distress and yelling and your sons cries was underwater, like a blur for your ears as the room too dazed out.

Trying to stand did the larger man behind you suddenly return, grabbing you around your entire body, and did your world spin being thrown across the air. A sting made by the top of your head as blood begun to seep down into your vision as that same weight slammed you face down into the floor. The older man before you now, grabbed you by your hair to yank your head up and used the other hand to force your teeth to part. Shoving the edge of a blade partially between your teeth he hissed with disgusting rot into your face. “You fight me again and I’ll carve a smile into your pretty mouth, got it?”

As if working in tandem, the anger flowed through the men as a sudden striking fear made you feel as if you were about to pass out, the only survivor in your blood the sounds of your baby crying in terrible distress in the other room but the blood mixed with your tears that you had no plan to get out of this.

The fabric of your dress and shift suddenly tore, a blade behind in the hand of the second man cutting through the fabric as if also carved into your skin without any care. The air of the room stinging the line of blood following as it reached close to the lower part of your spine when the second leaned into your ear as his older companion suddenly shoved your head roughly down into the stone floor. “The price was your head, orders ain’t said nothing about doing what we want with the rest of you.”

Through the blade keeping you quiet hardly any kind of crying protest could leave you, despite the actual cries from your son and the increasingly both distressed and angry sounds muffled from Olly behind being forced to watch. The older man only added to that fear as he ran his filth across your cheek, mouth and jaw almost cupping it in a violent manner to make a display of something you knew too well as it implied. “This is happening boy, so best shut it. Our friend here’s gonna fuck your Queen real good. You won’t even have to look her in the eye when he’s done, she won’t have any. Will you?”

The blood and tears melted together across your eyes as they stung as much as everywhere else did, but you knew from the feeling vibrating in your chest that you no doubt were making sounds of utter distress and panic that you felt so helpless against the heavy weight atop you. But the second the blade returned to finish tearing the rest of it from you, did a loud slam echo in the other room.

Before it even registered did the weight atop you suddenly double before leaving entirely, a mixture of growls and snarls as yelling and tearing hit your ears. Ghost tearing into the one behind you, you barley found it in you to push up at all the moment the older man moved. Turning up and leaping to the second approaching wolf, but this one was not the same was the first.

You saw none of it, happening so fast before your eyes there was more blood as a body dropped to the ground before and behind. Whatever fight to the death these men thought they’d give, it did not end as brave or as valiant as two wolves would ever allow.

The sounds from behind stopped as well, Ghost suddenly appearing at your side as you shakingly tried to push up in your palms but hardly could put any pressure in your muscles as they shook, as your whole body shook. More and more people suddenly poured into the room but your eyes hardly left wide and terrified from the man slumping down dead to the ground before you.

Himself still covered in blood, Jon dropped down in front of you, a seething mixture of fear and burning anger raging through him as he helped you sit up. Your shock to the point you barley had it in your mind to hold the tatters of you dress up as he cupped your cheeks. He called to your name more then once trying to get you to look at him, but your vision was blurry and stinging from the blood and tears, all you managed to get out was a beg as you no longer heard the crying. “Our son..where’s our son..”

Jon carefully wiped some of the blood from out of your eyes, murmuring with such a deep rasp that it scratched along your heart as something more comforting then you should’ve felt his voice was. “He’s alright.”

But you felt that fear still rattled through your bones, shaking your head. “Where is he, I need to- please, he was crying-” In fact though, not that you really had the awareness to know, but you were the one crying, in much more free tears.

Not even turning his head to whomever else was in the room, Jons voice was a husking command. ��Bring him here, now.” You couldn’t even hear anyone else in the room despite knowing they were there. Jon pulled you to sit more against the ground with your feet splayed to the side, keeping you close as he looked over you with such bright eyes soaked with worry. “He’s alright, darling. They didn’t hurt him, I promise.”

But he knew you wouldn’t believe that until you held him. Recognizing in the back of your mind that you leaned closer into Jons warmth as he refused to let go of you at all, only giving you enough space when in turn the baby was given to Jon, so he could turn and place him in your arms. Still crying, you cradled him close to your chest as your head buried more near the top of his head, falling a bit into Jons front.

He thus tugged you in close, one arm wrapped around your lower back to keep you tucked into his chest as your son was to yours and also allowing it to hold up what remained of your dress from falling. His other wrapped around to cradle the back of your head, hiding you almost entirely in his safe chest, knowing that the shaking coming from you was in fact hiding the silence of tears following the muffled cries from your son.

You truly weren’t even aware at all of what was going on around you. The shock from such a sudden ordeal had shot much of your nerves leaving only that shaking ragged fear in its remains. You could hear Jons rasps from above you directed towards Olly. “Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

Olly shook his head, a shaking in him as well but moreso looking towards you in his own distinct worry much like the rest of the room. “Only a little. They- They killed-”

Jon cut him off, no doubt trying to spare the rest of the details in front of you at that moment. The instinct within him to protect you growing fierce as ever. “I know.” It to only one pair of eyes who watched, was an interesting sight. Theon knew the dynamic between Olly, Jon and yourself was odd and it was moments like this where he could remind himself why he cared the way he did.

Coming up to him, Theon pulled Olly more up and to his side, luckily keeping his voice likely the most calm and even in the room as he spoke to someone you didn’t have the energy to even look up to see. “Make sure he gets seen too.”

Jon suddenly, moved to pull your face up to look at him, gesturing to be handed something, he shook his head a single no when you moved to give him space. “Stay just like this.” Gently running a cloth over to at least get the blood from your face washed out before noting with a hiss that some of it was indeed coming from a cut in your head. “Oh darling..” Pulling you close again he pressed his lips to your hair, resting his own face in the strands for a moment before pulling himself together.

Not a man to let kneeling on the floor, gently cradling his wife and son be a tender sight that would take away from his command, but as Jon spoke, there was an anger tinted behind. Not giving a single bit of room for objection. “These men came in through the tunnels. I want all of them searched, and every entrance from the outside into the castle sealed one way. No one uses them to get into the castle.” The tunnels, you thought. They came in through the tunnels, hiding beneath your feet. “Guards stationed all around Winter Town and double at each gate and watch. There are to be two guards outside these chambers and two guards at each end of the hall day and night, no one comes in this room without us knowing about it.” Looking up to Theon, you felt Jons arms around you tighten as if to say not to argue as he said your name in reference. “I want to guards with her at all times if she isn’t at my side, she isn’t to go anywhere alone for the time being.”

That had you pulling back a bit, meekly trying to get his attention with a protest. “Jon,”

He only cut you off without a hesitation. “This isn’t a debate. That’s an order. Either you’re with me, or you have guards or Ghost with you at all times.” Biting your tongue, Jon gave you a darker, narrowed look as he ran a hand over the side of your face. “Understood?”

A saving miracle in that for that instance Jon did not make you say outloud, he accepted your nod before much more gently wrapping his hand to the back of your hair and tucking you back into his front, leaning his head against yours with his eyes closing for if just a moment of peace.

[guksvault]

HOUSE OF BALLOONS | JJK

02- & The After Party

synopsis: fleeing the pressure and pretense of your elite life, you stumble into the seductive chaos of the House of Balloons. There, Jungkook waits— ready to make you question everything you thought you knew.

w/c: 2.6k

warnings: drug/alcohol references/usage, jk is a big ol' meanie pt 2, reader grows some balls, lil intro to how the boys met!!

a/n: jjk made todays lil scrapbook!! isnt he so!! <33!! (making each chapters scrapbook is sm fun!! gives u another pov of the characters me thinks!!) i also have like 8 more chapters written already :/ anyways!! enjoy!!

minorsdni

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You made your way up the stairs, determined to find Yoongi. Determined to get the fuck away from the creeper whose stare made you wish the couch would open and swallow you whole.

Being stared at had never been a problem for you, granted it was normally out of admiration. Never had it ever been a look that made you want to absolutely shed your own skin.

You reached the end of the stairs, 4 closed bedroom doors, not game enough to open any of them, didn't fancy walking in on Yoongi balls deep in some girl or anyone else for that matter.

Spotting a bathroom to the right of the stairs, you slip in and take the time to fix yourself up, ready to return home.

Jungkook on the other hand had still been watching, hadn't stopped since he first saw you circling the street until you grew enough balls to step inside this mad house. Told himself he was only watching incase you just so happened to leave that pretty Chanel purse unattended, knew you'd have a shit ton of cash in there, probably wouldn't notice if he took some.

Watched you head towards the bathroom from downstairs, stood up and made his own way there. Stood opposite the door.

He was surprised you were still here. Betted with himself that you'd only last an hour, 2 at most. But, it's almost 4am now, and you are still here.

Out of place and unwanted.

As you finished your touch ups, opening the door you couldn't help but jump at the man opposite you. Arms crossed, the light making his tattoo's a little more visible now, his face too. Didn't understand why assholes always got the prettiest faces.

"Fuck, sorry" You say, assuming he was waiting for the bathroom.

"Daddy know you got a mouth on ya?" Jungkook says, eyes locked on yours, tongue slightly playing with his lip ring.

"Does yours know you're kind of a cunt?"

Jungkook scoffs. Scans your body, meets your eyes again. "I can tell Yoongi you had to leave, we both know you shouldn't be here."

It's your turn to scoff now, "Have I done something to upset you, Jonathan, was it?"

His jaw clenches, a quick exhale through his nose, "Jungkook?", shakes his head and steps towards you. "Yoongi left that world for a reason, doesn't need it following him. Matter a-fact, none of us want it around."

You tilt your head slightly, turn your body to face Jungkooks, "Didn't really ask if you wanted me here or not, don't really give a fuck if you do or not either,"

You understood that you were probably a constant reminder of what everyone here doesn't have, but fuck, how much longer did they have to tell you it.

"If Yoongi wanted me out, I would've been out. Don't think he needs some little coked up emo to speak for him, hm?" Your tone was calm but you knew it had hit a nerve by the way his jaw clenched, just how you intended.

"Watch your fuckin' mouth, yeah? Might be worth something back in Seoul, but here, where you are right now? No one gives a fuck" Jungkook spits back.

"You seem to be awfully concerned though," You feign a pout, shrug your shoulders slightly and turn on your heels.

You retreat back downstairs, not to the banged up god awful couches, but to the table by the kitchen, down a shot and lean against the counter.

The crowd is a-lot more sparse now, few people passed out here and there, cups and balloons still scattered over the floors. The music that was blaring, is now playing dark instrumentals at a much softer level.

An arm slings over your shoulder, "Still kickin' Bee?"

"Apparently."

"Welcome to the House Of Balloons." Yoongi snorts proudly, placing a cigarette between his lips.

"House of balloons?"

Yoongi gives a small nod, as he lights up the end of his cigarette. "Throw these fuckin' parties every weekend and the people, they love the fuckin' balloons."

"Every weekend, hm?"

Yoongi nods, tells you it's a tradition. Tells you they've never missed a weekend since they started. Doesn't tell you why it started, doesn't tell you how much he fucking loves it, but you can feel it. Can see there's a light in Yoongi's eyes that he didn't have when he was attending galas and charity events, although that may just be the snow racing through his bloodstream.

Once upon a time, around the time Yoongi gave you your first blunt you used to think that perhaps you and Yoongi would have ended up together. Had the fattest crush on him until he broke your tween heart when he lost his virginity to Kim Soyeon in a bathroom of a Four Seasons during a High Society gathering.

He looks at you, "You really thinkin' bout leaving it all?"

You shrug slightly, "Not if it's going to lead me here. No offense."

He laughs, nudges your shoulder and takes the cigarette back from you. "Do it better than I did. Get your hands on some fuckin' cash or some shit, keep contacts. I ain't got shit now, never been happier but fuck it could have been easier."

You stand with Yoongi, listen to him mumble about something to do with his music. Fucker can barely string a sentence together, heads rolling, his jaw too.

It only takes you another 20 minutes, one uncalled for squeeze to your ass by some horned up freak and a death stare by Jungkook until you realise, it's home time.

"Another party tomorrow night, always welcome here Bee. Friday through to Sunday, the House Of Balloons will always love to have you" Yoongi says before he closes the door to your uber.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It's half past 5 by the time you arrive back to the penthouse.

Quiet, clean, bright. All the things the House Of Balloons wasn't.

The only noise being the chef in the kitchen preparing too much food for a Saturday's breakfast.

Managing to retreat to your own room without your parents questioning where you've been and why you're strolling in at fuck ass O'clock.

You lay in bed. Soft noises coming from your vanilla bean diffuser thats refreshing your room. Eyes on the ceiling. Thoughts on the House Of Balloons.

What the fuck was that? Why did I see 4 people getting it on in the open? Did I really look like a hooker? I would make a decent hooker- no. Shut up. Wouldn't go to Daegu if I was a fucking hooker. What hooker wears Hervé Léger pulled from the archive specially for you? Was the party still thriving?

It was. Yoongi wasn't lying when he said Friday through to Monday. It's simple really;

Friday will come, the house is open at 9pm, people roll in for their Friday night start off. House is normally cleared out by 8am, except for the few passed out around the house or the girls letting the guys use their bodies.

Repeat on Saturday's.

Sunday is come down day. Still a rager, just less pussies who can't handle it.

By 10am on a Monday, the house is clean and ready for the week to prepare for the next weekend.

Hoseok will have worked on his set to Dj from a shitty DJ deck, (which he stole from a college music room he broke into one night). The House of Balloons isn't the House of balloons without his dark, seductive and occasional mix of early 2000s&90s club bangers.

Yoongi organises drop offs from his dealer. The money that everyone drops in that rusted bucket? Yeah, that's their Snow Stash. The House Of Balloons isn't the House of Balloons without its fair share of coke, weed and god awful cheap booze.

Jimin is mostly in charge of the people that come to the parties. A charmer, knows how to make the night seem like it's not worth missing. Tells a pretty desperate stranger, who tells a friend, who tells another friend. The House Of Balloons isn't the House Of Balloons without a crowd full of depressed, desperate delinquents.

And Jungkook, is in charge of- well, being Jungkook. The female's will stroll on into the House Of Balloons, see him and decide that coming every weekend is worth it just to see him. The men want to be him, women want to be with him.

Which is no problem to Jungkook, can't stand sleeping with the same girl more than once- hates the idea of getting comfortable with someone. Prefers to spend the night learning their body and then never having to revise the information again.

The House Of Balloons isn't the House Of Balloons without Jeon Jungkook.

He loves it. Thinks the feelings he feels when he's inside the walls of his home that are shaking from the bass, when his line of vision is slightly warped from the white powder he snorts through his nose or the girl he's picked from the crowd is on her knees in-front of him must be the best feeling in the world. Nothing can compare, he thinks. This is what love must feel like. This is the feeling that people spend their life searching for, in the palm of his hand.

And just as deeply as he loves, his hate will always run deeper. Whether it be, losing, things being out of place or you.

Well, not you. Doesn't actually give a flying fuck about you. But, he hates people like you. Who come from money, stability, a safety net below them every time they slip. You just happen to fit exactly into that category, your fault. Not his.

Jungkook was raised by a single mother, father left and died from an overdose. Mother worked two jobs to be able to afford food.

Jungkook was 9 when his mother took her own life, leaving him with his grandparents who passed together 4 years later in result of a hit and run.

A life of loss and grief led him here. Right to the doorstep of the House Of Balloons. Well, technically it led him to Jimin.

Jimin and Jungkook met when Jungkook went to try to steal food from Jimin's father's run down (but the tastiest) Korean BBQ restaurant. Jimin saw him, made him a plate. They decided from that day that they would be best friends from then onwards and to only score five-finger-discounts together.

By the time they turned 17, they met Namjoon. Local Cannabis grower. Joon, only two years older, promised unlimited smoke sesh's if Jimin promised to get his father to feed him. Easy deal.

Three of them started going to shitty house parties, none of them were really any fun. More like a place to find someone to empty themselves into and if they were super lucky, find something laying around to steal and sell for some quick cash.

Half the reason why they continued to stop by these parties was because Jungkook had taken a liking to the DJ's music.

Hoseok was constantly, practically begging people to let him play music at whatever house party was the spot for a night. Thought, maybe just maybe someone would see his talent and know someone who knows someone and set him up for life. Hopeful.

Jungkook had extended an invite to Hoseok to join them for a meal, and wanted to convince Hoseok to teach him how to DJ. Wanted to be cool like him. Quickly realised he much rather listen to music than make it.

Then, two years ago, enters Yoongi. Introduced himself at a party. Bonded with Hoseok over music, plants with Joon and drugs and women with Jimin and Jungkook.

Jungkook and Jimin had planned on jumping him after Yoongi told him where he was from, but decided not to after they realised he really was just as broke as them.

The five of them, inseparable now. Living together in a run down shit box they scored with Yoongi's only available money. Decided to throw the party they always dreamed of, was a hit and has been a part of their lives since.

So, sue Jungkook for hating you and your lifestyle. Ungrateful for running away he thinks. Too scared to actually run away, is sure he won't have to see you again. If he has to see another pink dress shining in the crowd of monochromatics, he might just rip his own eyes out and stomp on them.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Jungkook is enjoying his night so far. Saturday's are always a little more chaotic than Friday's or Sunday's. More people, more drama, more women, more orgasms.

He sat in his usual seat, the brown leather couch facing towards the entryway. Can see everyone who enters, see's his options, notices any potential danger, can spot any glittering pink that dare enter.

He's listening to Joon dramatically ramble on to him and everyone within close proximity about how some dickhead stole his bicycle last night, reckons his gonna find the sneaker fucker and shove the handle bars up his ass. He won't, will just have to steal someone else's. Circle of life.

Jungkook's half interest is completely stripped from him once he looks towards the door and spots a glittery nepo baby wearing a baby blue dress. Corseted at the waist, puffs out just at the middle of your thighs.

"Fuckin' hell" Jungkook breaths out, the smoke from his cigarette clouding around his face.

Jimin and Joon, a few of the girls surrounding them all look in Jungkook's line of vision. You. Dressed for a tea party with the elite but stood with the delinquents of Daegu.

"Round 2? More interesting than I thought she'd be." Joon shrugs, turns back to the blunt he was rolling.

Jungkook's eyes are narrowed in on you, watching you laugh and down a shot of vodka with Yoongi. Jaw clenched, his cigarette burning towards the filter.

"Why the fuck do you care so much? About her? Did she reject you or something? Ignore her, it's not like she's here for good." One of the little groupies who had been trying to score a second lay from Jungkook for the last 2 weeks by Jungkook's side speaks out.

Jungkook's eye's move directly to her, brows pinched together. "Fuck you just say?"

She sits up a little straighter, has been begging for Jungkook's attention for weeks, not this kind though.

"No, no, I just mean, you know. You seem worked up, we can go upstairs? Maybe not seeing her and focusing on someone else could help?". She runs her fingers through the back of his slightly curled wolf cut.

He scoffs. Sucks his teeth and elbows her arm away, "Only place I want you to be, is somewhere not fucking around me. Fuck off."

Harsh, too harsh probably.

"What? Jungkook, babe-"

"Fuck off."

And off she fucked. Was no point arguing or begging him to let her suck him off to show him how she truly didn't mean to upset him. Never was with Jungkook, once he had his mind made up about you, that was it.

"Bit harsh J." Jimin smirks, throws him a new cigarette, Jungkook's previous one had burnt to the filter and put itself out.

Jungkook takes a light to his fresh cigarette, says a quick "be back in a few." and walks out. Straight through the sliding door, that is barely on the hinges, to the back yard.

There's less people out here, he still decides to sit towards the back of the garage that Hoseok had turned into a bedroom slash studio for his mixing.

Quiet. Less stuffy. Air is breathable. All the opposite to what he normally craves. Blames you, you're the one piece that doesn't fit.

And it only makes him want to bring his own clenched fist straight to his own face and knock himself out when he looks up from the ground and see's you standing in-front of him.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[snowdropflowers]

Why do e/riel shippers want Elain to be out of character? Why isn't it enough for them that Elain loves flowers or cooking?

If Elain's book had something to say about her becoming a spy, a warrior, and a singer, Sarah would leave easter eggs about it in her other books. But there are no easter eggs about any of them.

Sarah left easter eggs that Nesta would become a warrior. Nesta ACOWAR also joined the IC and wore Illyrian skins. ACOFAS also commented that Rhys Nesta is Illyrian at heart. As we know, Illyrians are a race of warriors. And Nesta also became a warrior.

Canon also confirmed that the Sarah 2 character sings. Az and Gwyn. Elain doesn't know how to sing or have any talent for it.

Elain will not be a warrior. If it did, Sarah would have dropped a lot of easter eggs about it. But no. Illyrian blushed when he saw the skins and agreed to bring the dagger with Feyre's reassuring look or word. (I don't remember this scene exactly, I can't look at it because I don't have it in the book right now.)

In Azriel's bonus chapter, Azriel rejected Elain. Not because of Rhys or because of him. As a result, he refused. At that moment, Azriel disobeyed Rhys' command and they kissed. And Az gives up the fight for Elain. He's not fighting for it. He immediately obeys Rhys' command.

And Sarah, I don't think she's going to write a forbidden love book. If he had written, he would have written to Feysand.

And they insistently say that e/riel's book will be Hades and Persephone. 😒😒😒

Sarah wrote this to Feysand anyway, why would she write it again, and their stories don't match. Rhys kidnapped Feyre. Where and why did he kidnap Az Elain? Rhys took Feyre to his palace under the mountain. So, where will Azriel take Elain if he doesn't have such a palace?

P.S: I may have spelling mistakes, I am not English and my English is not that good.

[yuseirra]

trying to get back to hikaai feels and so I listened to Fatal 5am in the morning right,

it's just.. I don't get what the story wants to do with this guy,

I don't think there will ever be another being who'd love Ai as much as Hikaru does, he's in pain!! That song's just literally HIM screaming he can't live without Ai and that he misses her so badly.

In the end, Aqua's feelings towards Ai is a mixture of many feelings but what I feel.. is that it started out as an extension of his regret and caring feelings towards Sarina, he wanted to protect her (after feeling guilt-ridden for being the cause of his mother's death from having given birth to him and having chosen to walk the path of being a doc) but he couldn't, and so it led to him wanting to protect his SECOND mother and the one Sarina really cared for, he fails again, and that event led him to depression and desperation to do whatever he could for her sake,

the fact that he felt a sense of salvation after he realized Sarina was reborn as Ruby, and that his drive shifts from fulfilling Ai's wish/avenging her death into saving Ruby indicates that, Ruby is the most important precious person for Aqua (it doesn't mean that Ai is not important to him, but Ruby holds that much significance for him) If Ruby is happy, Aqua can be saved. That's how he just.. gave up on saving his dad even if that's what's Ai's wanted. Because his priorities are more about protecting Ruby, it's understandable (a bit annoying, but I get how he's like this)

For Hikaru, that very person he longs for is Ai. He's the one who has Ai as his utmost priority. He's the one who wishes to bring the dead back, the one who struggles to go on without her and has lost all the will to live without her existing, of course it has to be HIM, not Aqua, that's singing the song Mephisto and Fatal. He really can't live, he's suffering, so who did this to him? If the story just wraps up in a way that makes it seem like he's the one that's asked for it to happen and it's his fault, I wouldn't understand the heck this whole manga's trying to indicate because it CAN'T be that way. As I always say, if they were just normal students, just normal people who weren't celebrities, none of this would have happened!! He started breaking down afflicted by the harsh conditions he faced from the industry, he started as a really kind person who helped Ai. She came to love him so much that she felt he was the one she wanted to live forever with but she couldn't because she was an idol... my head hurts, they better wrap this story up in a meaningful way. I SEE AN EASY WAY TO DO IT, I SEE IT HAPPENING, What I care about is the message of this thing. The writers better send out something that at least won't be harmful to the people who are affected by that industry, I know they can do it!!

This is really sad because I do think he REALLY loved Ai. He wouldn't have broken down this bad if he didn't care about her. And.. I really can't picture Ai having chosen the wrong guy to love. Those two could have been really happy together. The writers decided to split them apart and have one murdered and another go insane, they better do something about this before the story ends lol

[nostalgia-tblr]

What do English people call a close? You know, the stairwell bit where all the flats are in a tenement? If you go to visit someone at their flat, what do you call the bit where you wait for them to answer their door? That communal stairs… area?

("Modern AUs don't require research" MAYBE IF YOU'RE ENGLISH THEY DON'T 😭)

[keeps-ache]

so Apparently a game i was running on my computer (without a cooler thing for a good minute there, because i guess i thought i was invulnerable to heat) may or may not have burnt out some parts of my machine. and it's been a couple months since i've played it bc it just stopped working one day and i just had to accept that lmao- but anyway i'm booting the game up again today, Surely this will go differently :3

[saints-who-never-existed]

I can't for the life of me find that daft Vince McMahon reaction meme with which to adequately express myself, which is infuriating.

But suffice to say that a lovely person read my fic last night, leaving lovely, lovely comments on every chapter as they went, and now, nearly 24 hours later, I'm still on fuckin' cloud nine about it!

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <333

[six-improbable-things]

Oh god. I played 9.7 hours of P:WotR today... that's fucking wild. I am clearly so very normal about this game.

[thepandalion]

Attempted to leave the fandom after being made incredibly uncomfortable about it in late 2023 but also just remembered a specific line from a specific episode and now I'm going feral again

[rubysparx]

Honestly I don't think I'm qualified to make this post, I just don't know if I can make coherent enough words man. But the thoughts are in there and I will try to articulate them. This is probably going to be mostly images though. anyway yeah KABRU POST.

A couple nights ago (at approximately 2:30am, lasting a little over half an hour) I had a bit of a moment about Kabru. That, too, was mostly images- most of what you see in this more concise post were presented then as well. I think my main points of the "moment" were about Kabru's trauma + self hatred, his autism and/or general otherness, and also a little labru if you'd like..

I think something easy to start with is I wanna point out Kabru's constant back and forth and conflicting opinions of demihumans and how, I believe, thats a reflection of how he goes back and forth on what he believes his purpose of living is- and the general worth of his own life. I've said it before and i've just kinda shown it in images; Kabru is "i think im a monster and it disgusts me" where Laios is "I know im a human and it disgusts me" (i could go more into the latter on another post)

the above are both from the world bible, with the left being from the section on kobolds and the right being from the section on Kuro specifically. Utaya was very near to the desert where most of the kobold population is, this is likely why Kabru is able to speak Kuro's language- he grew up around demihumans. (chapter 48 cover, kobold chapter in the world bible) I won't try to speak for how his mother or the rest of utaya felt about the kobolds but I can say that Kabru was very much othered as a child, as was his mother, purely for the way her son's (kabru) eyes looked.

I feel like its fair enough to say that both kabru and the kobolds were othered, and possibly for similar reasons (villager's seeing them as nonhuman, as monsters) and the fact that Kabru learned their language probably didn't help his case. I think his perception of kobolds (and all demihumans, subsequently himself, as he probably still views himself as nonhuman or not human enough.. deep down) was damaged by the Utaya incident. at 2:30am when I first started this ramble my main comment was that "had the utaya incident not happened kabru would have little reason to feel ashamed for his connection to monsters. and may have ended up similar to laios in that he couldve had otherkin swag" which is just a sort of silly way of saying Kabru could've learned to love the thought that he is possibly nonhuman or at least not hated himself so much for it.

in the original ramble I said, and quote, "he has been STALKING laios. laios is his hyperfixation to learn how he can ever be loved. he keeps going back and forth so harshly on wether or not he wants to kill Laios and he clearly sees his survival from utaya not as an unfortunate trauma [*] but as a necessary, deserved fate. a punishment for his mother's witchy sins, and for his sin of being non-human. to atone for it all, to apologize for being alive, he tries to better the lives of all humanity. He was set on his way to dethrone the governor of the island . do you understand? im going insane" *i also said somethings about the way he processes other people's traumas and not his own. He's able to understand and even help some people, but he struggles to process his own issues and see himself as worthy of love and life.

^some examples of Kabru being understanding of or helping others who have suffered greatly. I think its also worth mentioning that with Rin (called "Lynn" in that translation) he says "I wish there was a way to get her out of this" though he's insisted and pushed for himself to go into a dungeon;

In chapter 94, Mithrun says "The desire I had left wasn't revenge. All I wanted.. was for it to finish devouring me." and I don't feel like it's a stretch to say Kabru was in a similar situation. Mithrun sought out the demon with no plan on how to kill something like that because deep down he wanted it to end his (Mithrun's) own life, to finish the trauma it caused and kill him. I think Kabru went into the dungeon in part with the hopes that it'd kill him. That the same thing that destroyed Utaya and caused him so much trauma would just.. finish him.

I just think Kabru is a beautifully complex character, I have a lotta thoughts on him and I don't see nearly as many analysis posts for him than I do Laios (despite labru being such a popular ship)

there is no tldr for this post idk how to summarize it. do what you will with this collection of images. have fun. go crazy

fun fact the woman in the bottom left corner is his mother, she is labeled here as "witch"

[mariyekos]

Okay so I reblogged this once before with some ideas but the post-DMC1 Qliphoth idea I mentioned in the tags of that other reblog is taking over my brain so to expand on that-

Dante beats Mundus in Hell but is so keyed up that he just keeps mowing through things. Bloodlust/rage

Comes across Vergil who he realizes is not dead, but was teleported

While Dante freaks out because Vergil may not be dead but he's clearly *dying*, Trish shows up. She came through the portal

Dante begs her for a way to save him. Maybe Dante tried a vital star and it didn't work

Trish mentions the Qliphoth. It is said to grant ultimate power... and demons have a natural healing factor, so if Vergil becomes more powerful, his healing will improve, and he may live

Dante doesn't want to harm humans. It's not right and he swore to protect his mother's people. But...he swore to protect Vergil too. And it's not like people don't die sometimes. Earthquakes and hurricanes and tornados and other natural disaster kill hundreds or thousands at a time. This'll just be like one of those. They're unfortunate, but the world will move on. And it's not like Dante will permanently unleash the demon world on the human world, he just needs to open it enough to save Vergil, then he'll go and clean up the mess and everything will be normal! It'll be fine! Totally!

So Dante searches for the Qliphoth fruit. Maybe Mundus has the seed since he ate the last one, and he was just waiting for it to germinate, so Trish retrieves it from Mundus' vault while Dante guards Vergil

After a few days (time uncertain in the demon world) Dante decides to start feeding it his blood because hey he's part human maybe that'll make it react. After ??? time (a few weeks) it finally does. Dante gives it some of Vergil's blood too, apologizing to his still-unconscious brother, then plants it.

He returns to the human world. Hides Vergil in the shop, calls Lady, and tells her she should really go on that vacation she's been talking about for months. His little vacation to Mallet Island was nice. He's sure the sunny Bahamas will be way better.

Lady leaves for her trip because sure why not. She doesn't want to deal with the headache of Dante fixing his shop anyway. And it's just in time, because the Qliphoth bursts from the ground like 2 days later.

Dante takes Vergil in, and the empusas don't attack bc it was germinated by their blood and they recognize their master. But the other enemies do. Trish protects Vergil while Dante cuts them down. There aren't that many yet thankfully.

Dante sits Vergil down on the throne and essentially hooks him up to the tree. Dante just patrols but...Trish notices that when he sleeps, the tree feeds him too. Dante doesn't seem to notice how invigorated he's feeling or connect the dots between why he's fine without eating.

Lady shows up almost 3 weeks later, makes it to the throne room. (Since this is pre-cell phone era and the Qliphoth might not have shown up on international news at least at first, Lady was blissfully unaware until it either DID finally hit international news or she got home from her trip). Vergil is still unconscious, so Dante defeats her. He has the tree make her into Artemis for her own protection. That way the demons won't hurt her, and if she's unconscious, she can't hurt herself either. It's for the best. Artemis can take out any hunters that get in deep. He justifies it more by saying he'll free her once Vergil eats the fruit and everything can go back to normal and they can be friends again and it'll be fine!!! Yeah!

Dante feels it when the fruit is ready. He brings Vergil (who is finally starting to wake up, though he's too weak to move and Dante is too excited about the fruit to notice. Plus both of their energies have been distorted by the Qliphoth, so he can distinguish between his own Qliphoth-changed energy sparking and Vergil's).

Before feeding it to Vergil he hesitates. What if Trish tricked him? He'll just take a small bite to confirm. The rush of energy comes and it's so, so hard but he doesn't eat the rest and shoves it into Vergil's mouth instead, who is awake enough that the rush of power overwhelms his normal thoughts and he eats it right away

Once Vergil is healed, Dante is overjoyed. Finally, finally he has his brother back! He didn't kill him a third time! (Childhood by making Vergil leave the house and be attacked alone, Temen-ni-gru, Mallet).

Vergil meanwhile is horrified. While hooked up to the Qliphoth he dreamed a lot, and thought over what Mundus had done, and what their father wanted. He realized he had fallen after the Temen-ni-gru to join their father's world, but the world their father *chose* was the human world, and after everything he'd suffered he decided he should choose it too. Rejecting humanity had only brought him suffering. It was in those few years of childhood that he lived as a human that he prospered and was happy.

Dante is confused why Vergil isn't happy. He saved his life. Shouldn't Vergil be happy? Trish shows up and Vergil says that she corrupted Dante, just like she tried to corrupt him. Stripped away Dante's humanity just like she stripped away Vergil's when she helped Mundus break him enough to put him in the armor. (Remember when Dante says: "That last bit of humanity you had? You just lost it." or something like that when Urizen eats the fruit?)

(Maybe Vergil is also upset because Dante forced something onto him (the fruit) just like Mundus did. Vergil hasn't had a say over his body in nearly a decade. Dante is extremely shocked and offended by Vergil comparing him to Mundus, because he is *nothing* like that bastard. This was the best for Vergil. The armor was for the worst. Dante only wanted to help, Mundus only wanted go hurt. But Vergil argues that they're the same anyway, because they both wanted something that Vergil didn't. They both took his bodily autonomy away from him. They both used Vergil to further their own selfish desires; Mundus to prove his superiority to Sparda and inflict his anger on Sparda' son, Dante to reassure himself that he was a good person and didn't kill his brother. Mundus liked to say he was helping Vergil by making him stronger too. But he wasn't. Vergil didn't want that. Either of them. Dante used Vergil as an excuse for his own gain and he cannot forgive Dante for that.)

Dante also gets upset at Vergil accusing Trish of being bad bc Trish's knowledge is the only reason Vergil survived. He should be grateful. But Vergil argues the cost wasn't worth it. Wasn't Dante upset about the Temen-ni-gru? What changed? Why is it okay now?

Dante argues it's because he's trying to protect Vergil. He didn't do it for power's sake. But Vergil argues that he didn't do it just for power either, he did it for the power to *protect* which means Dante has made the exact same mistake as Vergil.

Dante disagrees. So, there's only one way to settle the argument. To fight.

Who wins? Well Vergil ate more of the fruit, and he was more hooked up to the Qliphoth than Dante. But Dante had a bite, and he was fed by the Qliphoth a little too. And Vergil is hesitant to kill his brother, while Dante is so upset (and has spent the past month plus trying to convince himself that everything he was doing was justified, and is so far in that he can't accept that it *wasn't* bc then he'll have to face the horrible things he's done) that he is able to put so much more of himself than Vergil is. So when you have a stronger guy who isn't trying versus a weaker guy who is giving it everything he has...

:)

This probably isn't as much Vergil turning over a new leaf as you intended since he's pretty absent from most of the story (as in, he's a plot device but isn't awake until the very end) but it sort of fits the bill? Eh, it was fun to think of either way. If I haven't gotten swept up in another idea once I finish my current DMC longfic, I might try to turn it into a proper fic one day!

Role swap AU but not in the typical sense where Dante and Vergil's positions were switched on the day of the attack. Instead it's Dante fucking snaps at some point and when Dante snaps is about the same time Vergil turns a new leaf.

[lovifie]

Lift Me Off My Feet

Chapter 1: New Beginnings

Masterlist

Original Thought - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

This was going to be a little something, but I got carried away, anyway, enjoy.

Thinking about reader entering the elevator to find the whole 141 fully dressed and armed inside. 💗

Warning: There is a little smut ahead ❤️ Gaz x Reader

“There really is no need!” You exclaim, finally coming out of the paralyzed state you were in. Just as the door was about to close you managed to slip out, forcing the door to open again by detecting the movement. “I'll just go out the way I came in, no need to worry.” 

You try to make your way to the car, walking backwards so that you don't have to break eye contact with them since they are looking at you like you are an absolute lunatic. Maybe you are. 

The only thing you can see of them is their eyes as they look at you, and then the three of them that are on the right turn to the one on the left. The one that spoke to you and to the radio. 

He puts his hand on the door again, and slowly turns his head to the one closer to him. Then he nods in your direction and says only loud enough for them to hear: “Grab her.”

Not needing to hear anything, and trusting your guts, the second the man puts a foot down to begin walking your way, you bolt, running as fast as you can to your car. 

Thanking whoever is listening that still has your keys in your hands, you unlock your car and as soon as you reach it, you open the driver's door and enter, closing it behind you. 

Or trying to. 

Before you can yourself in your car, a hand holds the door and pushes it back open. He tries to grab your arm so you move to the copilot seat, trying to move away knowing that there is no way out but still trying. 

You push your back against the door, desperate to create space as the man starts to enter your car and you try to kick him away. “Please let me leave! I don't know what's going on, I can't say anything if I don't know what's going on! Please!”

He doesn't respond with his voice but in his eyes, you see something similar to pity that makes you wonder what you must look like, glassy eyes with tears pricking at your eyes from fear, trying to move as away as possible from him in your minuscule car and trying to kick him away but with barely any strength too scared to actually hurt him and make it more difficult for you. 

The door behind your back suddenly opens and before you can do anything, a pair of strong arms grab you by your torso keeping your arms close to your chest and unable to move them. “Gotcha!” Says the voice behind you with a strong accent and almost fun in his voice, like he just won a tag game. 

You trash around trying to get free, unable to even reach the ground, tears beginning to flow down your cheek. “Please, please, I promise I won't say anything, ple-” A massive hand covers your mouth, silencing your pleas and forcing you to look at the third man that followed you to your card. Brown eyes look at you with furrowed eyes and say slowly, almost testing how stupid you are. “Are you going to make this easy for everyone, or do you just want to make it harder, angel?”

You nod your head, afraid to even try and speak. “Yes? Yes, what? Are you going to behave? Good girl.” He says as you keep nodding and you see his eyes twirl the slightest with a smile. “C’mon, Johnny, bring her to the elevator.” 

The four of you make your way inside of the elevator when the first man who spoke to you remains holding the door shaking his head at you as you are dragged inside. “Now why would you try something like that, you silly girl?” He says taking something from his back pocket.

“Maybe she likes to be chased.” Says the man that you tried to kick before and you quickly shake your head still unable to talk earning a chuckle from him.

“Well, we can't have any more of that. Put her behind Kyle, Soap.” Says the first man, and you can finally see that what he picked from his pocket is a pair of cuffs and you begin to trash again. Futile, you know it, since the man behind you (Soap, you guess), holds your hands putting them around the man’s waist (Kyle was his name?) and you quickly feel the cuff go around your wrist keeping your plush against Kyle's back, the indents and trinkets of his backpack pressing against your face. “Now, no more tears, kid. You brought this upon yourself, so no more games.” He says looking at you poking his head from the other side of the man, but you can help it back to let the tears flow free. “Aw, c’mon, lass. Don't cry, yer be free in a bit. Look, Captain has the keys, we'll let you go soon, see? Right her- Shit!” 

The Scottish man behind you was saying, as he pointed and moved around you, and when he was about to point to the keys in his captain's hand, his eyes were not on the keys but instead on your face. So he didn't measure the distance and instead knocked the keys out of his captain's hand. 

So now, the five of you look as the key falls, not to the floor, but straight to the small space under the elevator door just as it closes. Getting out of reach, and possibly never to be seen again. 

“Johnny, you fucking twat!”

Maybe if you did some overtime today, if you came across one more red light on your way back, if you stayed in your car a couple of minutes more you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation.

But you didn't.

So here you are now, hiding your face on the back of some military man, crying out of absolute fear for your wellbeing, handcuffed so you can't run and hearing the four men on the elevator argue with each other. 

Until an especially hard sob escapes your mouth making you bite your lips to silence yourself and everyone else to shut up. 

A warm hand engulges yours, assuming that it is Kyle's trying to calm you down by drawing little circles on your hand. “It's okay, luv. We have more keys, just not here. You just gotta stick with us for a little longer, and then you'll be back to your life, a’right?”

You hiccup as you try to stop crying, still biting your lips and out of reflex, you move your hand to grab one of his fingers, trying to ground you and get calmer. 

You notice a hand going down your back making you jump and grab Kyle's finger harder before you hear someone shushing you. “When we get out there, I'm gonna need you to be quiet, alright? And move along with Sargent Garrick, careful with your feet… Look at me, sweetheart. Let me see your pretty face.” 

You slowly move your head to face him, you recognize the voice as the Captain's voice but you finally see his face as he has moved his mask and now you can see the lower part of his face, mainly covered still by his beard and moustache, but with a kind smile on his face. A soft sigh escapes his lips when he sees you and it makes you think about what you must look like. 

Raw, plush and red lips from biting them, glossy eyes and wet cheeks flushed against the sergeant’s back; an absolute mess.

“Poor birdie, what have you gotten yourself into?” He says as he cups your head. “You are going to be good, right? We are going to take care of you, so no need to be so afraid. Nothing bad is going to happen to you as long as you are with us. It is all going to be over soon, luv.”

He caresses your head once more, and when the elevator reaches your floor, he puts the mask back up. The four of them get the weapons in their hands and begin to beeline out of the elevator.

Kyle gives you one last squeeze to your hands before letting them go to grab his gun and walk out last of the elevator with you behind. 

“Bravo-6 to Watcher-1, we are on the 6th floor, moving to the objective apartment.” The captain says walking first. 

“Watcher-1 to all, the apartment is the 608. Proceed with caution, we don't know how many are inside.”

“Roger that, are there any secondary entries, Watcher?”

“Any available on time, Bravo-6. Just the main door.”

“You can jump from my terrace.” You whisper to Kyle who whips his head so fast when he hears you talk you are surprised he didn't get dizzy. “I live next door.”

“Quiet, birdie!” Kyle screams-whispers back, gaining the attention of the captain. 

“What did she say?” Ask the captain back.

“She said she lives next door to the objective, that we can jump from the terrace. Worth a look?” Kyle asks back.

“Where do you have the keys?” A deep voice coming from the only man you don't know the name jet asks next to you, and you push your butt out.

“Back pocket.” You say looking at him.

“Lucky Lt.” Soap mumbles somewhere close.

The unknown man gets his hand down your pocket and grabs your keys without unnecessarily lingering. 

You tell them your apartment number and when they open you explain to them that it is in your bedroom, and they just need to jump over the half wall on the side. 

“Ghost and Soap go through the outside, Gaz you coming with me. Ghost, check how many people are inside and we will enter at the same time.” Captain orders and you decide that you have already heard enough.

You know bullets are about to fly everywhere and blood is about to run and you don't want neither to see nor to hear any of that. 

So you hide your face on Kyle's back and grab his belt to steady yourself. You hear the Captain's voice shout something and after that, it is all chaos. You focus all of your senses on moving in tandem with Kyle, making sure not to get your feet on his way. 

At some point, you feel a sharp pain a bit higher than your elbow, but you ignore it, way too terrified to check it.

It is all a blur of noise and movement, but finally, there is no more shooting and you can only hear an angry man shout. 

You finally pop your head around Kyle to check who is screaming and you come across your neighbour, shouting at the captain until he sees you.

“You! I knew you were a fucking spy, you fucking whore! You don't know who you just fuck with! You are dead, bitch! You heard me? DEAD!”

“Darling, he is not getting close to you.” Kyle tries to reassure you.

You are currently sitting on his lap, strangling his legs, still cuffed around him. You both are sitting on the back of the ambulance, as the paramedic takes care of the wound on your arm. Not that you care about it, becoming minuscule in your hierarchy of problems after receiving a death threat from a terrorist. 

“Yes, he is!” You argue back as you bawl your eyes out on his shoulder. “He is and he is going to kill me! And I didn't do anything!” 

“Hey, look at me, doll.” He says as he cups your face with his hands. “You are with us, right? Nothing is gonna happen to you if you are with us. Nothing's gonna hurt you if you stick with us. Do you not trust me?” He asks, looking at you with almost puppy eyes, he follows your gaze when you look at the wound on your elbow and looks back to him as he changes his expression to look at you with a bright smile. “No need to answer, doll.”

“How's the damage?” Captain Price (as they told you) asks, walking closer to the both of you. 

“No damage to the bone, but the soft tissue will need some time to heal.” The paramedic says as he gives the last sutures and puts on the dressing. “And either she is a fighter, or she was busy crying about something else, but she didn't complain once.”

“Ah, she's a fighter, that I know.” Price coos at you petting your head again and you feel yourself blush.

“Do you have the key for the cuffs, Captain?” You ask to change the subject and he smiles mischievously when he hears the way you call him.

“Don't call me that, sweet girl. I'm not your Captain, call me John, Price if you are not comfortable with firsts name.” He says and you nod letting him know you understand. “And I asked about the keys, but the master key is at the base. So guess you have to stick around with us for a bit more, sorry dear.”

You hide your face on Kyle's neck again sighing feeling your tears sting in your eyes. A sob escapes your lips and automatically both Price and Kyle are shushing and cooing at you. 

“What's making you so upset, doll? Are you uncomfortable with the sergeant?” Price asks, rubbing your back and you shake your head. “Then what is it? Use your words, love, please.”

“I'm just exhausted… I just wanted to go to bed… I'm so tired…” You mumble against Kyle's skin provoking him goosebumps and a sight to leave his lips.

“Let's get going then, the earlier we get to base the earlier you get back home.” He pats Kyle on the other shoulder and he stands up, you in his arms, as if you were weightless to the taller man.

You don't comment on the fact that he holds you from your ass, it’s too comfortable being held and you’d rather take it than to test your legs and force yourself to walk. 

Price opens the door to the minivan and Kyle sits with you on his lap. Price closes the door, circles the car and opens the door to sit on the other side. You look around quickly to see Ghost driving and Soap on the copilot seat.

After a couple of minutes of the drive, you notice Price slips a bit on his seat, just enough to rest his head on the headrest, and he puts his hat over his face to shield himself from the street lights as he crosses his arm to sleep for the rest of the drive.

And you envy him because you wish you could sleep too. If it wasn't because it seems like Ghost is catching every single curb and bump on the road, and every time he does, your and Kyle’s crotches rub each other making you both groan softly.

His hands find their way to your waist as you reposition yourself on his lap and he whispers to your ear. “You gotta empty that pretty head of yours, luv. It'll help you relax.”

You notice the growing bulge pressing right to your cunt, and when Kyle begins to move your hips back and forth against it… you let him. 

“Such a sweet girl, hm?” He mumbles as he drops wet open mouth kisses on your neck. “Poor, poor birdie. Getting involved in such a nasty situation, because of somebody else's mistakes.”

Little sighs escape your lips as you grab his t-shirt trying to not make any noise, the captain still sleeping on just two seats to your left.

You should be embarrassed, ashamed of yourself, afraid of these men you just met, of doing such a nasty thing in front of three other men even if they haven't noticed jet. 

But Kyle's hardening cock is still brushing against your cunt and it is making it really hard to focus on anything else.

Enjoying his freedom of movement, he undoes the first button of your work shirt, just to keep kissing your neck lower, grazing your collarbone.

His fingertips grab your hips harder, making it easier to move against him. 

“Helping us so much, letting us enter your house, your bedroom, taking the bullet like a champ. The trainees could learn from you. Moving so in sync with me, I didn't step on you even once. But you like moving with me don't you, sweet girl, hm?” He asks against your ear, making you shudder as you keep moving against them.

You can feel your panties get soaked with your arousal, the mix of Kyle's praises being whispered to your skin, his hard cock throbbing again and again against you, your ego inflating because of it, knowing you are affecting him just as he is affecting you, his warm hands on your waist.

“Take what you need, sweet girl. Take it, luv.” He mumbles letting his head rest on the seat headrest as his hand moves down to your ass impulsing you.

You can feel your climax coming closer and closer every second passing, but then Kyle moves you slightly back and the pressure moves to your clothed clit and you hide your face on his neck biting down as the orgasm washes over you.

Kyle goes back to whispering on your neck. “Keep moving, doll. Please, please, a little bit more, just a bit more, I know you can do it, please, doll… you are driving me crazy, please…” he begs softly as he moves his hips against yours making you gasp against his skin. Warm breath against the drool you just let on his skin making him shudder grunting softly just before he cums on his pants against your cunt. 

So close yet so far 

I have never in my life written smut before, so let me know how catastrophic that was.

Anyway, sorry if it is messy, I really have no clue where I'm taking this. Let me know if there any scenarios you would like to happen 💗

And I can't express how happy I am that so many people liked the first part, really, thanks so much.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Sukuna

[Chapter 1] Offerings

Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Trueform!Sukuna x f!Reader

*Just want to preface that this is a historical AU but there will be some historical inaccuracies so if you see something odd, don't point it out. Also this is still a curse AU! if that isn't clear with four-armed Sukuna. Anyway I hope you enjoy!! Any general story warnings can be found in the masterlist!

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Sukuna is missing something, he’s not sure what it is but he knows that he’s bored. He’s bored of everything that once thrilled him, tired of the same routine. But no matter what he does, he feels empty. 

He’s done everything possible to soothe that boredom, which has come to the expense of many lives. It entertained him until it didn’t. Occasionally he does find joy in the horrors that he causes but it doesn’t feel like that’s enough anymore. There’s something that he’s missing, but he’s not quite sure what it is. 

He has everything a man could possibly want– Although he isn’t exactly a man so his wants and needs are obviously different. He isn’t going to be fulfilled by the foolish ideals of happiness that men have. He doesn’t have much of a guide though, therefore he’s lost in how to fix his problem. 

“Uraume.” Sukuna’s voice isn’t all that loud, yet Uraume nearly comes running to fulfill his request. The temple is uncomfortably quiet; everyone is ready to fulfill Sukuna’s every request, and their king does not raise his voice unless adrenaline rushes through him, or he’s upset. No one knows which is the worst of the two. 

“My king.” Uraume kneels down before him. He’s quiet, too embarrassed to even bring up this question. It’s unlike him. Uraume is truly the only person that he respects which is why asking the question is hard for him to actually say. He wouldn’t trust anyone else with it though.

“What do men usually do?” He asks, which is odd for Uraume to hear. Sukuna was a man too, once upon a time. But he doesn’t remember that stage of his life, and he’s sure he wasn’t happy either which is the reason why he’s the monster he is now.

“I’m not sure.” They sound reluctant. “If you could be more clear, I can search for an answer.”

“Get out.” He orders, and they bow again before exiting the room. He wants to be left alone to gather his thoughts. He has all the time in the world to figure himself out, but he wants even more time. He doesn’t want to be bothered now of all times at the very least.

“There’s a woman with an offering.” A servant tells him from the other side of the tatami doors, followed by a shrill cry that makes a smirk come to his lips. That’s his answer.

Sukuna wants a successor. 

“Take it to the servants, answer to her needs.” Sukuna answers, not really caring to listen to any requests. His mind is now preoccupied, detailing his next course of action. He needs to find the perfect woman to carry his heir, which he knows will be a hard task– Perhaps the hardest challenge that Sukuna has come by in all of his years of living.

“Please eat, Haru.” You put the bowl beside the young boy’s mat. You’ve been slowly watching your brother’s health deteriorate, slowly watching his death near. Worst of all, you have been looking for a cure that seems impossible to find because it’s not something that’s affecting anyone important. 

It’s not a disease that’s affecting anybody else, really. It’s not infectious, you quickly found that out. You were glad about it at first, but then you realized that there’s no cure yet. Days pass by, and he gets worse. He refuses to eat anything, and when he does, he can’t keep it down for more than a few hours. His death is imminent.

“I did everything I could to get the right ingredients for your favorite food. Auntie made it extra special for you.” You make sure to tell him, but he can barely move. You kneel down beside him, grabbing his utensils and preparing a bite. “Just one bite, Haru.”

“I’m sleepy.” Is all he manages to mutter, and you feel a pull on your heartstrings. Your hand caresses his arm.

“Just one bite, okay? Then you can sleep all day.” You try your best to convince him. All he does is sleep, and no matter how many hours he sleeps, he wakes up tired. He prompts himself up, and you’re fighting back a smile– It’s barely any progress, if you can even call it that. “Open up.”

There’s a smile on your lips as you bring the food to his mouth, and he begins to chew. He takes the utensils from your hand, grabbing the bowl of food and putting it on his lap. You stand up and tell him, “I’ll get you some water.”

“He’s finally eating something.” You share with your aunt, making sure your voice is low since there isn’t all that much space. Her eyes go to him, and she really wants to say that it’s a sign of him getting better but it really doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes he eats everything that’s made for him, but he throws it back up. 

“I really wish this meant he was getting better… But we both know that he’ll get worse tomorrow.” She responds, and you want to curse her for even mentioning it but you know she’s right. You don’t like hearing it though, you’re helpless. There’s nothing more you can do for Haru, you’re just waiting for the day to come. 

“I really think he can get better.” Your eyes begin to feel with tears, knowing that you don’t even believe yourself. You’ve tried everything you possibly can, but you know that his time nears. You can’t just accept that fact though, he’s your baby brother, you can’t let him go. “Let me get his water.”

“I’ll get it… Think about what the medic said.” Your aunt reminds you of the visit from the physician. One that you’ve forgotten because you refuse to consider his one and only suggestion a possibility. The words flow back to your head,

“Your best bet is the deity up north. You have to bring him an offering, and if he deems it worthy enough, he will cure him.” “But if he thinks it’s beneath him, he’ll kill you.”

You don’t want to risk anything, but lately that seems like your only option. He’s not getting any better, even though you so badly want to say that he is. Throwing up everything he eats is not much improvement than not eating at all. You just have to figure out what is considered an offering worthy for the deity to save him, and to save yourself. 

“I’ll be back, I have to figure something out.” You say, smiling back at your aunt and your little brother. They barely acknowledge you before you leave the house, which you’re thankful for. You just need a moment to gather your thoughts, decide what you’ll do next. 

You need to sort out your offering for the deity, an offering that will hopefully sort out all of your problems.

“My king, there’s a woman with an offering.” It feels like the hundredth time that week in which Sukuna hears that sentence. Humans are greedy beings, and they all fucking need something. It’s unnecessary, purely materialistic– It’s a side of humanity that he appreciates though. How much a human is willing to sacrifice for wealth or the promise of good fortune. Sukuna can’t judge, he's the sole winner in the end.

“Let her in.” He says, and the tatami door slides open. A poor maiden with a pale yellow kimono, and a woven basket in hand. You walk in with your head down, following the strict instructions that were given to you. 

You’re trembling as you kneel down in front of the deity, bowing down to him. You remain bowing for however long he pleases, keeping your eyes shut because there’s tears building up. You have never been this terrified. Willingly putting yourself at death’s door is no easy feat.

“Rise.” He orders, and you straighten your upper body, remaining on your knees. You don’t dare look anywhere past his feet, keeping your eyes low and steady. You know that he’s staring you down, studying you. A smirk on his lips, thinking about how he’s found her. “What do you want?”

“My brother…” Your voice is shaky, and you try your best to compose yourself. You can’t start crying in the middle of it, you’ve gotten this far, he’ll surely kill you if you begin to sob at his feet. “He’s sick. The medic can’t cure him, and he told us you were our only choice.”

He’s not really listening. Something about a brother is all he grasped. He’s more into the way your lips move, and the tears of pure fear that well up in your eyes. He can tell that you really made an effort into your look today, even though you don’t look extravagant. Which for some reason he likes, he doesn’t want an arrogant woman in his chambers, he already has enough of them. He especially doesn’t want one of them carrying his heir.

What really draws him in is that certain look in your eyes. The clear innocence that’s written all over your face. You’re the perfect lily that he can’t wait to tear apart, petal by petal. That finalizes his decision.

“What do you have for me? Open the basket.” He orders, and you do as he says. Regret washes over you as you open it, immediately knowing that it’s not enough. You don’t know what came over you when you had the bright idea of picking it. You unfold the cloth with shaky hands, revealing the gift for him. He’s usually furious with these types of gifts, since they hold no value to him but he wants to hear your reasoning since he has other plans with you, “Why do you come to me with this?”

“Pomegranates aren’t native to the land, and they’re scarce this time of season. I found some while searching for an offering and thought it was a sign.” You explain, and he scoffs. A stupid reason, one that should get you killed. If he wanted fruit, he would send Uraume to get it for him. He guesses it’s creative though, especially when almost every person that walks through the temple is willing to sacrifice a life. But you don’t gain points for creativity, no one ever has.

“Pomegranates? What am I supposed to do with that?” He’s mocking you, and you swallow the lump in your throat. He’s right, what is he supposed to do with a pomegranate? He’s not like you, he’s not just going to eat it. You’re usually smart about this type of thing, but you guess desperation got the best of you this time around, and now you have to pay for the consequences. As to be expected, there’s no answer from you, and he orders, “Look up at me.”

Your eyes slowly move up his body to his face, and you’re in awe at the sight. A mix of emotions flow through your body. He really isn’t a human. You were terrified earlier, but now you’re simply astonished. You never really believed the tales that were told about him since you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that a being like him could exist. But now he stands before you.

“Do you really think I’ll do anything with the fruit?” His voice sounds serious, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. You shake your head which irks him. “You have a voice don’t you? Use it.”

“No, my king. My apologies.” It’s strange, but you sound more confident as you look at him compared to before. It brings some sort of satisfaction to Sukuna since usually people that are allowed to look directly at him can barely communicate.  

“I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself.” He’s thinking about how merciful he is– Which isn’t entirely a lie since Sukuna never gives a second chance. Except you have no idea how you can redeem yourself unless he dismisses you. Little do you know what he’s thinking for you. “I have a proposal for you.”

“A what…?” Your eyebrows perk up as curiosity takes over you. A proposal from a deity, it’ll surely be something that you have yet to hear. 

“Bear my child, and I’ll forgive you.” He says, and you almost fall back. Your ears must be deceiving you, there’s no way that the proposal that you just heard is real. Your eyes are wide open, and you hear him laugh. It must be a joke then. 

“Uraume!” Sukuna yells, wanting it to be clear that he doesn’t want to waste a single second. Not even a second later, and they’re in the room, waiting for their king’s command. “Take the maiden and prepare her for me tonight.”

“Wait– You’re serious?” You dare to ask. You haven’t even agreed, yet he’s getting you ready for tonight, to have a baby with him of all things. “You don’t even know my name, why would you want me to carry your baby?”

“What’s your name then?” He asks, clearly irritated by the question, and you have no choice but to answer. If you don’t, you’re screwed. “There we have it. Take her, Uraume.”

“Wait!” You shout, but Sukuna isn’t going to listen to more of it. Uraume guides you outside, a task that they usually do harsher. At any other time, they’d be dragging you outside but you’re not just anybody. 

You’re the woman that will carry King Sukuna’s heir.

[areyouwell]

Nyctophobia

Noun: An extreme fear of the dark. Children or adults may have Nyctophobia if they are afraid to be left alone in darkness

Ch.1

Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader

Warnings: None as of yet, but we'll get there ;)

Word count: 9.2k

A/N: RIGHT FUCKERS ITS TIME. i don't think i've written a fic this long in goddamn years but here we are. DEFO ooc Logan and also timeline what timeline? Kitty is older than the rest of the students cuz i love her and i said so. reader's mutation is currently shadow-walking but that'll develop as we go on so slay boots. also I have no concept of word limits sooooo 9k chapter let's fucking go

How long had it been? Six months? A year? Two years? Honestly, you couldn’t recall. It felt like it had been forever since ol’ Charlie had sent you travelling the continent. Sure, it had been your idea to try and find mutants before they experience the most traumatic event of their lives, but you didn’t think he’d send you, and certainly not immediately. Though you were glad he did, you didn’t think Scott would make as good an impression as you could.

But, now you were back. Thank fuck. You could finally rest your weary legs and put down your heavy-as-shit bag. And at least now you could work on developing your mutation. Shadow walking. Or at least, it is now. You thought that was the extent of what you could do, just disappear and reappear whenever and wherever there happened to be a shadow cast on the ground. Or on a wall. Or anywhere really. But, Xavier had gently suggested that, perhaps, those shadows could be manipulated one way or another. You wished to fuck you knew how because your bag was all but cutting right through your shoulder.

Your boots crunched against the gravel as you took a deep breath, making your way inside. It was nice to notice nothing had changed. The lawn was still neatly mowed, brickwork hadn’t aged a day. It smelt like comfort. It smelt like home. But before you could even knock on the door, at least being courteous enough not to slip through the shadows, the oak burst open and two unidentified arms had wrapped themselves around your neck in one of the most warming hugs you’d ever received, accompanied by a high pitch squeal.

You knew instantly who that would be. Brown hair spilled across her shoulders, smelling faintly of lavender. “Hey Kitty,” you grinned, dropping your bag to return her tight embrace. It truly did feel like forever.

“I’m so happy to see you it’s been years! We thought you were never coming back! Scott thought you’d died and Charles wasn’t telling us, Logan didn’t think you even existed and that we were all lying, Jean thought you’d just got sick of this place and dipped, it was carnage!” She rambled, her deep brown eyes sparkling slightly. You had to take a minute to actually comprehend what the fuck she was saying before your lips split into a broad smile.

“Well, I can tell you that I’m not dead, at least not yet, and I do very much exist and I am not sick of this place despite what Jean may think. And– wait who’s Logan?” Your brain had only just caught up with the fact that Kit had mentioned a name completely unfamiliar to you. Just how long had you been gone?

“Oh, right yeah. A new teacher,” Kitty kept one arm around your shoulder as she guided you back inside, stopping only when you realised your bag was still left discarded by the front door. “He uh, sorta took your position as PE and combat professor… sorry.” She looked genuinely apologetic, whilst internally, you couldn’t be more grateful. You always thought you weren’t ever cut out to teach, and whilst you sometimes enjoyed it, you were always too worried about the kids being hurt. 

“I’m hurt, a girl’s gone for a year or two and you replace her? What kind of school is this?” you cracked a smile, Kitty’s face morphing from remorse to relief. She really thought you’d be upset? You were touched. “Anyway, what time is it? Where is everyone? I thought classes stopped at–” You were cut off abruptly upon entering the lounge.

“Welcome back!” you covered your face at the chorus of voices, laughing behind your hands before clutching your heart dramatically. 

“Christ! You’ve all just knocked five years off my life!” you grinned, faces both familiar and unfamiliar laughing and smiling just to see you.

“They’ve been looking forward to this for days. Ever since rumour of your return started circulating, they’ve been pestering us nonstop for a date. Eventually, someone caved,” You didn’t need to see Scott’s eyes in order to know he was giving Kitty a pointed look behind his glasses. You looked back to see her looking sheepish.

“Yeah well… they can be really persuasive.” She shrugged, taking your bag off your shoulder and placing it out of the way. You sighed at the loss of weight, rolling your joint slightly. 

“It’s good to see you,” Scott pulled you in for a brief hug, clapping your back once before pulling back, letting the rest of your friends and pupils make their way over. You were consumed by various arms of embraces, questions about your travels, introductions to new students, reminiscing with old students. It was quite possibly the best moment you’d had since you left. But a face caught your eye at the back of the crowd. A young girl, with the same dark brown hair you remember, only now a streak of brilliant white framed her face.

You made your way over, shuffling through the crowd, clasping hands and shoulders with people you knew before finally getting to her.

“Hey you,” you smiled gently, remembering how timid and easy to scare she used to be. You were caught off guard completely by her sudden bright smile. 

“Hey.”

“How long’ve you been here? I didn’t actually think you’d listen to me to be brutally honest with you, thought you’d just shrug it off and continue your own path,” you were relieved to see she had listened to what you’d said two years ago. You’d urged her down this path, to find the school. You’d already known Charles would take her, it was just a matter of her taking herself here.

“Uh… about that…” you’d only seen a smile that sheepish on Kitty. You cocked a brow, head tilting to the side slightly before a hand on your shoulder caused you to whirl. But it was just Ororo. Clearly, your travels had affected you more than you originally thought. 

But Storm wasn’t looking at you, you could only see the back of her white hair as she frantically waved at someone through the crowd, beckoning them over.

“Logan!”

Ah, you guess that made sense now.

Whoever you’d expected to walk through the crowd, you threw that image out your mental window the moment you saw him. 

Now you understood why he taught combat and PE… he was fucking ripped. White t-shirt leaving nothing to the imagination. The facial hair was an interesting choice, but you couldn’t say it didn’t suit him. He was very… rugged lumberjack looking.

You placed a hand on your hip, brows raised in intrigue as he made his way over. You don’t think you’d ever seen a grumpier-looking man. 

“Logan, this is Phantom,” your eyes slid to Ororo as she used your mutant name. 

“Ah, so you do exist,” his voice seemed a perfect match for the rest of him, just as rough and rugged as the worn jeans he was wearing. You nodded, mouth quirking into a small smirk.

“Heard there was some debate over that, glad I could put it to rest,” you outstretched your hand for him to shake, something you were surprised he actually did, calloused palm encasing your own.

“Can ya blame me?” He asked with a raised brow, dropping your hand after a beat too long. Clearly unaccustomed to civility, judging from his appearance. 

“Guess not. You’re also the son-of-a-bitch that stole my position, right?” You asked, wanting to be a lot more serious than you actually were being, but for some reason, you couldn’t help grinning slightly. 

“Language!” Storm elbowed you slightly. Guess you’d forgotten how to behave around the kids too.

Logan held his hands up in surrender. “In my defense, I didn’t think you existed,” though he also seemed serious, you thought you could detect something that could be perceived as humour in his hazel eyes. You couldn’t keep up your poorly constructed façade anymore, waving your hand as if to physically clear the air between the two of you.

“I’m kidding, you can keep it. In all honesty, I was never really cut out for it.” You shrugged. “Besides, I’m–”

“She’s being super modest by the way, she rocked as that professor!” Kitty called from the other side of the room, somehow managing to listen to your conversation. You didn’t know how, since the entire welcome party was still chatting way, but you cast her a withering look nonetheless. 

“So I’ve heard,” Logan’s eyes slid from Kitty back to you as you scoffed.

“Though, of course, it was purely hypothetical, since I didn’t exist and all.” You teased, gesturing to your very much existing self. You silently triumphed over the fact you managed to drag a small smile out of him, realising that making this man pull any other expression other than irritation was something to be proud of. 

You hadn’t realised how completely caught up in the introduction you’d been before you noticed the girl still standing next to you, eyes flicking between you and Logan with a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. 

“Anyway,” you continued pointedly, “you were saying? So you didn’t come to find this place?” your head tilted again slightly in confusion. “How did you end up here?”

Rogue looked from you to Logan, who’s eyes were still trained on you. You looked between them. “Nope, still confused. How did…?” 

“Well, after you found me, I did carry on my own path, which led me to some shady bar where Logan found me,” she explained quietly.

“More you found me but sure.” He shrugged. You could tell there was some kind of bond between them, one you could recognise was only built through trauma. You’d heard a little of what happened with Eric through Charles’ telepathic link, but he always reassured you to continue what you were doing. But you often wondered what could have happened if you’d returned. 

“So, you brought her here?” You asked, trying to prompt the story forward. Honestly, you wanted to know how he’d succeeded where you’d failed. You could be incredibly persuasive when you wanted to be, but Rogue was stubborn on another level. 

“Me? Nah, didn’t know this place existed at that point.”

“Seems to be a common theme with you,” you couldn’t help the subtle teasing grin spreading across your face, nor your laugh as he rolled his eyes skyward.

“Never gonna live that down, am I?”

“Not whilst I’m still breathing,” you winked, before turning your attention back to Rogue and completely missing the way his features shuddered slightly. “So how’d you get here if tall, dark, and broody over here didn’t know about this?” 

“Tall, dark, and– what?” He asked, bewildered.

Ororo snorted in amusement, before stepping in. “That would be us. We’d been tracking another mutant, Sabretooth, and he just so happened to be tracking Logan, or so we thought at the time. We found Sabretooth, and these two at the same time. Brought them both back.” 

You nodded in understanding, now finally having got through the whole story. Well, maybe not the whole story, you knew there were details you definitely were missing, but at least you got the jist.

“I see. Glad it wasn’t my lack of persuasive skills then. Though I guess a life or death situation isn’t much better. How’s your mutation coming along?” you asked, only now noticing the black, elbow-length gloves she was wearing. Ah.

“Still hard to control, but I’m getting better at it!” She looked genuinely enthusiastic about her mutation, so much so that it almost brought a tear to your eye. When you’d met her two years ago, you didn’t know if she even wanted help. She’d been so lost in her despair and self-loathing that you didn’t think she had long left with the way her mental health was going. So to see her so happy, your throat closed up slightly.

“I’m glad, I really am. You deserve this, Rogue. All of this,” you gestured to the room around, to the friends she’d made, to the haven she’d found.

“Oh, my name’s Marie. Guess I didn’t tell you before.” She shrugged, and you had to laugh to stop yourself from crying. 

“Marie it is.” Her story touched your heart, and to see she managed to get her happy ending… fuck you were so close to crying. You had to change the subject before you broke down in front of these people. “Oh hey, is my room still the same? Wouldn’t mind freshening up a little, been a long journey.” Two birds with one stone. You could leave the situation and cry in your bathroom whilst taking a shower so you didn’t smell like the wrong end of a skunk. Perfect!

“Uh…” Storm started.

“About that…” Kitty continued, coming over to stand alongside Storm. You looked between them, before shooting a glance to Logan who seemed to be showing absolutely no remorse.

“Your bed’s real comfy, bub” he smirked, and you gaped.

“You’re fucking kidding me?”

“Language!” both Ororo and Kitty said at the same time, and you winced.

“Fuck, sorry. Shit! Argh!” you gave up, throwing your hands in the air. “I’m not letting any of you off the hook. This is betrayal at its finest! Giving him my position I can handle, but my damn room? That’s shocking behaviour from the both of you!” You pointed at them accusingly, shooting a glare to the man next to you who was doing nothing but lowly chuckling. You breathe out a sigh. You had the best room in the whole mansion. Or at least you did, before Muscles McGee stole it from you.

“Don’t blame those two” Jean placed a calming hand on your shoulder. “we didn’t have another room made up when these two arrived. It was supposed to be temporary, but–”

“The view was too nice to pass up on,” Logan interjected. You realised he probably thought it was his turn to tease you. You knew that view was nice, it was overlooking the entire grounds behind the school. And whilst you were going to sorely miss it, you weren’t so heartless that you’d take it back from him. Besides, in a weird way, you felt like you owed him. He found Marie, and whatever transpired between them, she seemed happier now. You guessed you maybe had him to thank for that.

“Yeah yeah, alright fine. I concede. Where am I then?” you asked Jean, who broke into a broad smile.

“You’re in the one above, still got the same view, don’t worry,” she elbowed you slightly. That wasn’t so bad actually. Same view, same side of the mansion, just one story up? You breathed a sigh of relief. Yeah, you could do that.

“Good enough, I’m still mad about it though.” Your eyes narrowed at four of them, Logan included, before cracking your neck in preparation to take your bag all the way up the stairs.

Kitty clapped her hands excitedly, and you raised a brow in suspicion. “What’s got you so giddy?” you asked as she once again slid her arm across your shoulders, guiding you back towards the door. 

“Oh nothing, just glad you're home. It’s been kinda boring without you.” You laughed at that. With everything that’s been going on, you didn’t think any of them had time to be bored. But you appreciated the thought nonetheless. 

Eyeing your bag on the ground, there were times when you really wished your mutation involved some kind of super strength, because as happy as you were to be home and have a room just above your old one, you really didn’t want to lug that thing all the way up. And all the damn lights were on, so slipping up through the shadows was a no-go. You blew out a breath in preparation, rolling your shoulder once again, before you were stopped by a broad hand landing on your arm.

“I got it,” Logan’s voice weaved butterflies through your stomach. You hadn’t realised he was behind you before he was leaning down next to you and effortlessly slinging the bag over his own shoulder.

For the second time that afternoon, you gaped up at him, left almost speechless. 

“Super strength?” Was all you could say, hoping to Jesus he knew what you were asking. You watched his features morph from confusion to amusement as he shook his head slightly. 

“Nah, not quite.”

“Then how the fu–” you were reminded of the children present by a sharp elbow to the ribs from Kitty. “–uuun. How fun.” you gave up on your question, much to his mirth. The sight had your brain short-circuiting. You wouldn’t deny he was good-looking. You’d be fucking crazy to deny that. But there was something else hidden under all those knowing smirks and sharp glances. Something that you wouldn’t mind uncovering. 

Deciding that was a quest for another day, you turned abruptly on your heel, making your way to the staircase before once again stopping in your tracks. This was starting to get on your nerves a little. However, any irritation soon died as you finally saw Professor Xavier.

“Ah, I wondered whether the commotion was your return.”

You snorted a laugh. “No, you didn’t. You absolutely knew it was my return.” You quipped back, earning yourself a laugh from the man.

“As quick as ever. And I see you’ve met our Wolverine.” Charles nodded to Logan next to you, and you turned to him in bemusement. 

“Wolverine? Seriously?” you asked, laughing at his shrug. “Can’t think why…” your sarcastic jab paired with your pointed looks from his hair to his body brought another amused smirk from the man. 

“I thought you two would get along. Get yourself settled back in and meet me in my office and your earliest convenience.” You nodded back to Xavier, unable to take a moment to process what he meant when he said he thought you and Logan would get along before Kitty began dragging you towards the stairs.

“C’mon! You’re gonna love it!”You were slightly worried about what it was but followed her nonetheless.

Logan had to admit, he didn’t mind carrying your bag up four flights of stairs. It wasn’t the worst way to spend his afternoon. And as much as he wasn’t the kind of guy to stare at a woman’s ass, he wasn’t mad that he was behind you. 

Everything he’d been told about you had been proven correct. At least, everything he’d seen so far. Whether or not you could hold yourself in a fight was up for debate, but everything else, your wit, your charm, heartbreaking kindness, humour… it was all right there in front of him. 

Literally.

He’d lost count of how many times he’d had to bite back a smile or a laugh, stunned by the fact that you actually managed to break through and pull both from him. Even now, as you paused before the landing that lead to your old room and sighed wistfully, had had to stop himself grinning. And he was glad you turned back around quickly after throwing him a pointed glare over your shoulder because that was another smile he was struggling to rein in. Fuck, how did you do it? He’d only known you for half an hour and he’d displayed more expression than he had in his whole two years of being here. 

He was in huge trouble. 

The stairs finally flattened out to the top floor landing, Kitty still leading the way down the corridor until the final room. It was isolated, like his one floor below, and he guessed you must like it that way. Which he thought strange. The way you were with others, he hadn’t exactly pegged you for being someone who liked her space. But then again, he’d only known you for thirty minutes.

He had to remind himself of that. 

“Here we are!” Kitty grinned excitedly, stepping to the side to let you open the door yourself. Logan knew what you’d find behind the wood. He’d helped set it up after all. Some twisted guilt forced him into helping. At least, that’s what he told himself. 

You eyed Kitty suspiciously, before twisting the handle on the door, pushing slightly to reveal what she was so excited about. 

If Logan was being honest, your expression was worth all the consuming guilt he’d felt by taking your room. A smile of pure, unadulterated awe wiped all thought from his mind, your eyes were practically glowing.

“You… Kitty, you didn’t need to do this,” You looked back to the giddy girl and pulled her into a tight hug. Everything you remembered was here. Your posters, fairy lights, and every single plant you’d nourished and grown made your room look like a rainforest. The light in the ceiling had been covered by patterns to ensure there was always shadows cast somewhere, whether it be floor, wall, or ceiling. 

“It wasn’t just me! I employed help,” Kitty smiled, taking the liberties she knew she had to sit cross-legged on your bed. “And others offered to help.”

Logan held his breath as he felt your attention shift from Kitty to him, meeting your gaze of sheer wonder. 

“You helped?” you asked, taking your bag from his shoulder, though he was almost too caught up in your gaze to notice.

“Here an’ there…” he muttered, trying to calm himself by leaning against the doorframe, folding his arms across his chest, attempting to escape your eyes by looking around your room. 

“Here and there? That’s such a lie! He’d heard about your mutation, the shadow-casting thing was his idea!” Kitty grinned excitedly, and you all but choked on the realisation. He did this for you. He didn’t even know you, and he did this for you. 

“Kitty, that’s en–oof!” Logan barely had time to react before your arms were around his neck, your chin resting on his shoulder. Your scent hit him like a truck, and it was nothing like how he’d imagine it. Not that he had imagined it…

“Thank you,” you whispered earnestly, and any guard he’d put up previously melted away. He didn’t exactly return your embrace, but his hands somehow found your waist as you pulled back, keeping your arms across his shoulders. “Maybe I can forgive you for stealing my old room now. Oh! And my job. And not believing I exist,” your grin held more mischief than he ever thought possible, but now you were back to teasing, he felt his thoughts return. 

“Anythin’ else?” He asked, mirroring your expression.

“Not yet, but I’m sure I’ll think of something,” was it Logan’s sudden and overactive imagination, or did your eyes just flicker to his lips?

Was it the sudden physical contact that made your body hum this way, or was it just the fact that he could bench-press three of you? You didn’t care, and somehow, you didn’t think he did either. 

Until very suddenly and very abruptly, you did care. You stepped out of his hands far too quickly for his liking, your arms falling back by your sides. Though you didn’t look like you regretted anything. 

“I really appreciate this, from both of you. And whoever else helped. This is… well it’s better than what I was imagining,” you gestured to the room around you. It truly was perfect for you. They’d really outdone themselves. He’d really outdone himself. And you couldn’t help the warmth that spread from the centre of your chest to your limbs. You wanted to know more about him. “What’s your mutation, by the way? You never said,” you asked before you could stop yourself, and Logan blinked in surprise.

Holding his fist up, he flexed the tendons holding his claws. He no longer winced when his knuckles split. No longer grimaced as he sliced through his own flesh, though watching your face did cause him to worry just a little. 

You held your silence for a moment, not really knowing what to say. That looked painful as fuck, but you felt that asking might make it worse. “I see…” was all you said, before it hit you. “Wolverine! I get it now. It made sense before but now it actually fits!” You exclaimed, chuckling at his confusion. 

“Whaddya mean it made sense before?” 

“Don’t think too much into it,” you winked again, and Logan swore his heart stopped. 

“Yeah, alright Phantom.” He cocked a brow at the playful narrow of your eyes before you melted into the shadows right in front of him. He’d been made aware of your mutation, having overheard Jean using both you and Kitty as examples of phasing mutants, but to actually see it for himself? He couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed. He glanced around the room, retracting his claws as he looked for where you could have gone. 

“Get it now?”

Logan whipped around to see you standing behind him, arms folded across your chest, a mischievous grin plastered across your features. 

You always felt a sense of freedom when you released yourself into the shadows, like holding yourself in this corporeal state was somewhat of an effort. But letting yourself be free, to move like liquid amongst the darkness, it was like refueling a beaten truck. 

Logan’s lips quirked into a smile as he nodded once. “Got it,” the silence lingered once again, some kind of charge energy crackled in the space between the two of you before he cleared his throat. “Kitty, we should– the fuck?” 

You popped your head to the side, peering around Logan to see the space on your bed Kitty used to be sitting in was now completely empty. “Guess she left,” you shrugged. “Or she never existed.” That earned you a flick to the forehead from Logan, and you laughed, batting away his hand. How long had it been since you’d felt this comfortable with someone this quickly? Either it had been years, or never. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” he smiled, this time completely unrestrained. And fuck was he gorgeous. But you had to remember this was a man you’d just met. 

He had to remember this was a woman he’d just met.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll uh, see you later?” You didn’t mean for your voice to sound so hopeful at the end, but honestly? It was worth seeing him turn back to you with that same smirk you’d seen countless times already.

“Sure.” He said, before closing the door. 

You sat heavily on your bed, your head in your hands. “What the fuck?” 

Little did you know, Logan was having a similar reaction right outside your door, his back against the wood as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “What. The. Fuck?”

Having almost drowned yourself in the shower, using that shampoo you’d missed so dearly on your travels, you’d changed clothes into something a lot more comfortable, a loose pair of sweats and a spaghetti strap tank top, before heading down to Xavier’s office where he’d just spent the last ten minutes explaining his plans to further your mutation. And to be completely honest with yourself, you hadn’t listened to half of it. 

“So, in short, your ability, whilst appearing similar to Kitty’s, is actually entirely different. Where Kitty phases through objects, you become those shadows. Your molecules break down completely, unlike Miss Pryde.” He finished his explanation slowly, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him you had no idea what he’d just said. Luckily, when conversing with a telepath, you didn’t have to.

Charles sighed, rubbing his forehead slightly. “You’ve always said you felt a strain on yourself whilst corporeal, yes?” He asked, and you breathed in relief. Finally, a question you could answer.

“Yeah, it’s like I’m holding water with my bare hands. Or something like that,” you nodded, looking at yourself slightly curiously. “So, I’m not like Kitty?” you clarified, looking back up the the professor, who shook his head. 

“I’m afraid not. We were mistaken before, simply assuming you were just another phasing mutant. But Jean ran some tests on your blood, and it was quite remarkable.” You’d almost forgotten the woman was in the room until she cleared her throat, her red hair pulled up in a tight ponytail. 

“I think you describe it perfectly. Your molecules are being held together, more or less, by string, or so to speak. Not real string, but I think you understand.” You nodded. You actually did understand, because that’s how you constantly felt. It was, however, incredibly unnerving. What would happen if that string frayed? Or worse, fucking snapped altogether? Sensing your distress, Charles covered your hand with his own.

“My dear, that’s why we brought you back. We’ve been incredibly lucky so far, and clearly, you have an innate ability to control the string. It’s led us to believe that your abilities don’t stop at shadow walking.” He looked at you with understanding as you took this all in. He’d mentioned to you previously that he thinks you could do more. 

“Shadow manipulation, right?” You asked though the question was rhetorical. You knew that’s where they were going with this. Charles glanced at Jean who nodded in confirmation. 

“Essentially, yes. We think you could pull shadows from an already existing cast and wield them to your heart’s content. In… theory.” She hesitated, and you blew out a breath.

“But in practice?”

“In practice… honestly we don’t know. It will be a learning curve for all of us, to be blunt.” You nodded a little numbly. You’d only just returned and already you were being bombarded with hard truths. 

Once again sensing your distress, Charles cleared his throat. “Well, I think we should continue this discussion tomorrow. You’ve had a long day and perhaps right now isn’t the best time to be entertaining new ideas.” He threw another look to Jean and she nodded again, standing from her seat.

You couldn’t agree more. This was a lot to take in. Especially since you’d become so comfortable with your mutation, believing that you were just another phaser like Kitty. But now, you were something else completely, something unknown. Even to yourself. It… scared you. And you didn’t scare easily. Worry? Sure. Impending sense of dread? Absolutely. Fear? Never.

“Right. Thanks, Professor. I’ll uh, see you tomorrow then.” You dipped your head goodbye, before leaving his office and closing the door behind you. Tea. You needed tea. Fuck you needed something stronger than tea, but since this was a goddamn school, alcohol was strictly prohibited. 

Fuck’s sake. 

Dragging a hand down the side of your face, you absently made your way to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. Muscle memory guided you to the drinks cupboard, moving aside the jar of decaff coffee to reveal your personal stash of teabags. Whilst primarily you were a coffee drinker, when it was this late in the evening, you tended to steer clear of the caffeine. You weren’t the best at sleeping to begin with, let alone when your mind and body were buzzing. 

You didn’t turn when you heard footsteps behind you, and the scrape of one of the chairs against the wooden floor, too focussed on rifling through the cupboard adjacent to the drinks one for our favourite mug. A gift from Kitty, she’d had custom-made for the print on the side to say ‘Phasers Forever!’. It made you a little sad to think about now. But, thankfully you found it, nestled right at the back next to the mug you’d gifted her. Also custom-made, but this just had the image of two hands with their little fingers linked. You’d made sure the gloves matched the ones you both wore in your suits. 

Dropping the teabag into the mug, you instantly savoured the scented steam as you poured the hot water, even the aroma calming your slightly frayed nerves. Wow, that meeting had seriously rattled you. Looping the string and tag over the lip of the mug, you turned back to the room, only to almost drop your freshly made drink in surprise.

Logan. Hair slightly damp, in a white v-neck tank, sat at the far end of the table, leaning back in the chair with a bottle of what you could have sworn was larger in his bear paw of a hand. That same fucking smirk pulled at his lips. 

“Phantom.” He raised his bottle in greeting. You wished you could match his energy, but honestly, you were drained from the day and the meeting. But you tried nonetheless.

“Wolvie.” You smiled back, though you could feel it didn’t reach your eyes. And clearly, he noticed too, expression shifting from self-assured confidence to slight concern.

“You alright?” Logan had only known you for less than a day, and he already knew he really didn’t like seeing you despondent. 

“Yeah, fine.” It almost pained him physically seeing your eyes remain dull with your liar’s smile. That was something else he realised in that split second. 

He really didn’t like you lying to him.

“Uh huh?” Fuck, he definitely knew you were hiding everything. How the fuck could he possibly tell that? He didn’t even know you! You sighed heavily, hoping it would help your next half-truth.

“I’m just tired. Long day, lots of emotions. Are you hungry? I’m starved and was gonna make pasta if you wanted some,” You tried your best to steer the conversation away from how you were feeling. Once again it wasn’t exactly a lie. You were starving, having not eaten since this morning, and it was now ten in the evening. 

Logan knew you turned away quickly so you didn’t have to see his suspicion. If you weren’t ready to talk about whatever was bothering you, he knew he shouldn’t push. But, to his surprise, he found himself wanting to know. He wanted to know what was up, and maybe, just maybe, he could make you feel better. It seemed doubtful, but it was worth a shot. “How was your meeting with Charles?”

Your shoulders tensed, spine straightening. Gotcha.

“Yeah, fine. Just easing me back into life here basically. Nothing earthshattering.” Now that was a flat out lie, and once again you refused to turn around as you brought the kettle over to the tap, filling it to the max line before placing it back on the stand and flicking the switch. You found it easier to lie when you were busy doing something else and making pasta seemed perfect. Crouching to one of the lower cupboards, you pulled out the pack of wholewheat, refusing to eat any of the sugary white bullshit. Unfortunately, the one downside of busying yourself so remarkably well was that you weren’t always paying attention to what was going on around you.

For example, Logan walking up behind you to take the packet from your hand and place it on the counter. You turned, realising he’d given you minimal space to move. He was so close you could smell the gel he used in the shower. Woodsy and smoky, like a forest cabin. He smelt fucking great, but to be honest, you were too busy trying to avoid eye contact to care.

“S’that why you look like your pet just died?” You knew he was trying to be teasing, trying to lighten the mood, trying to create a comfortable environment for you to open up in, but you didn’t know him, and he didn’t know you. With a deep breath, you stepped to the side and out of his reach, opening the fridge to look for something to make a nice creamy sauce with.

“Look, Logan. I appreciate it, and what you’re trying to do, but at the same time, I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So, and I mean this with the utmost respect, fucking drop it. I’m tired and I have genuinely had a long day, what more do you want me to say?”

Logan blinked. And blinked again for good measure. He wasn’t expecting you to be so sharp. He didn’t know why he wasn’t expecting it, but you really took him by surprise. That seemed to be all you were doing since the moment he met you. Though this one stung a little more than he cared to admit. “That might’ve been the nicest fuck off I’ve ever heard. But it was still a fuck off.” He shrugged. He knew deep down you were right. You didn’t know each other, and maybe was was expecting a little too much from a three-hour friendship. If he could even call it that. 

“I didn’t mean–” You turned back from the fridge just in time to watch his disappearing form leave through the door, hearing his footsteps recede back up the stairs. You cursed inwardly, hating yourself for how you handled the situation. Though, looking at the pasta on the counter, you had an idea as to how to fix some of this. 

It had been roughly half an hour since he’d left you in the kitchen, recognising you needed space, and in all honesty? Retreating to lick his own wounds. He didn’t know why he wanted you to open up so badly. It wasn’t like he had a long-lasting friendship with you. He met you today, for fuck’s sake. Only hours ago. Shit, this morning he still didn’t think you existed! Logan groaned at the memory of you shutting him down, wishing he’d handled the situation differently, and stopped prodding when he knew he should have. Fuck!

He’d just managed to resolve to come and talk to you, before there was a thump at his bedroom door, followed by another. That wasn’t any kind of fist knocking… 

With deliberate caution, Logan stood from his bed, shining claws sliding through his knuckles as he approached the door, only for his nerves to be calmed when a familiar scent wafted through the cracks in the door. He didn’t dare get his hopes up until he turned the handle, pulling the door open to reveal you, stood before him, two steaming plates of pasta held impressively in one hand, and two bottles of larger in the other, your foot raised to kick the door a third time. 

“Before you slam the door, I brought peace pesto pasta, homemade so you know it’s good.” You were honestly surprised he opened the door, though you eyed his claws cautiously. Who did he think it was?

Logan noticed your line of sight, retracting his claws to cross his arms, a brow raised. “Peace pesto pasta?”

You nodded. “Homemade, don’t forget.” Logan smiled slightly at the hope in your eyes. “And also beer so you physically can’t turn me down.” You raised the two bottles in your hand, and he sighed as if you were a nuisance. Unfortunately for him, that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Homemade peace pesto, beer, and…?” 

You stuck your tongue in your cheek. “An apology.” You reluctantly admitted, looking anywhere but his face. “Can I come in or are you gonna stare at me all evening? These aren’t the most balanced plates, been a while since I was a waitress so…” you mumbled in explanation, earning yourself a quizzical look.

“You were a waitress?”

“Yes and it was a long time ago but we can talk all about it if I can set these down somewhere they won’t fall on your feet,” you said hurriedly, borderline pleading with your eyes for him to let you in. It wasn’t as if he was about to say no, there was just something comical about the way you were managing to hold everything in your hands. 

With a click of his tongue, he gestured for you to enter with his head, closing the door behind you as you set one of the plates down on the window seat, rubbing the red skin of your arm where the hot plate had ever so slightly burned you. He instantly felt bad, crossing the room with the intention to take your arm to look at it before you stuck it into the shadow on the wall, removing it again to reveal your skin pristine again.

“It wasn’t that bad, just uncomfortable,” you shrugged, handing a plate and bottle to him. Logan shook his head at what he’d just seen, giving you a look of ‘fair enough’ before taking the plate and beer gratefully. How long had it been since someone cooked for him? Though you’d done it as a peace offering, it still warmed his heart slightly. That and the fact it smelt fucking divine. 

“I’m sorry…” you started, mindlessly poking your pasta around your plate with your fork after making yourself comfortable on his window seat. He guessed it used to be your window seat, but it still made him happy how comfortable you looked. “The Professor told me something in the meeting and… rattled me, that’s all,” you shrugged, popping a few pieces of green pasta into your mouth and chewing thoughtfully. 

Logan decided to wait for you to continue, cracking open the bottle top of his beer with his teeth. Raising a brow as you looked over at him in slightly disturbed awe. 

“How did you not just break your jaw?” you asked, flabbergasted at his seemingly endless pool of abilities. 

“Not much can break it, considering my skeleton’s adamantium.” Logan was starting to like when you gaped at him in shock, admiring the way you jaw went completely slack, eyes wide. 

“Wait, how don't you– ohhhhh…” It had taken you a while to notice just how much the bed dipped when he sat down. No wonder he was so ripped, he had to be that strong in order to fucking walk around. “Any other secrets you're hiding?” You asked, before instantly regretting the question when his eyes met yours.

“You wanna talk about keeping secrets now?” He asked curtly.

“Walked into that one…”

“Yeah, you kinda did.” 

You sighed, fiddling with the bottle cap of your beer. Not to remove it, just to feel the sensation of the almost serrated edges helped to ground yourself. 

“You know about my mutation, the whole shadow-walking thing?” You asked, to which Logan responded with a nod, finally taking a bite of the pasta you’d made. Your heart swelled with pride as he paused, looking from the food to you with an impressed smile. “So, turns out, it’s nothing like Kitty’s. It’s not phasing like we originally thought, but something totally different.” You started to explain to an intensely listening Logan. “Kitty phases through things. I actually become the shadows I enter. Like, it’s not still my body but just in the shadow, my molecules break down to literally be the shadow,” you could tell he was trying to understand, his head tilting slightly to the side in a way you genuinely found cute. “It’s like, I’m holding water in my bare hands,” you started to demonstrate, placing your plate and bottle down beside you to cup your hands in front of you. “And this, this is my body. My corporeal body. But, when I dive into shadows, that body breaks down,” your cupped hands splayed apart, fingers spread to simulate a liquid splash. Logan nodded thoughtfully through mouthfuls of pasta. “How Jean explained it was that my molecules are held together with some kind of thread, and I control that thread, but it’s a constant strain… Like, I can feel my body being held together. And it just… I don’t know. It scared me I guess.”

The room fell into silence as you finished your explanation, Logan setting his somehow clean plate to the side, leaning his elbows against his spread knees, beer bottle clasped in both hands. “I uh, don’t really understand what’s scary bubs, sounds like this is an opportunity to develop it, right?” he asked, eyes searching your face for any sign you were reassured.

You sighed, the back of your head softly hitting the wall behind you. “Well apparently we’ve been lucky so far, and my control over this string or thread or whatever the fuck is stronger than they thought but… I don’t know, I guess what first went through my mind was what would happen if the thread snapped. Would I just stop being able to shadow walk or–”

“Would you stop altogether, and be able to do nothing but shadow walk,” Logan finished, realisation dawning on his gruff features. You nodded slightly, not wanting to speak anything into existence. 

“Exactly.” You whispered, staring into your borderline untouched pasta. You honestly didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t know what could be done. Surely, at this point, it was just a matter of time, right? The thought hit you like a lightning bolt. If it was just a matter of time, you just burdened this poor man, who you’d only met hours ago, with the knowledge that, eventually, you were likely just simply dissolve into nothing, cursed to live forever in the shadows of others. “Anyway, yeah, that’s why I had a face like, how did you put it? Like my pet just died,” You did your best to imitate his voice, hoping to shit it would lighten the mood of the room, but it only earned you a look of sympathy.

Fucking sympathy. You hated sympathy.

You’d come in here in the hopes to make things right with him and apologise for how you were earlier, but the one thing you really didn’t want, and never fucking wanted, was sympathy. You sighed heavily, preparing yourself for whatever ‘I’m so sorry this is happening speech’ he was clearly getting ready to spill. 

But for the umpteenth time in the short while you’d known him, Logan surprised you. Taking your bottle of beer from your side, he cracked the lid off with his teeth, the same as before, before handing it back to you. You, as stunned as you were, managed to take it from his hand, the soft skin of your fingertips brushing the backs of his own. You smiled in resignation, raising your bottle in some tragic excuse of a toast. ‘To the inevitable’ you wanted to say, but you physically bit your tongue before taking a long sip of the slightly bitter liquid.

“It won’t come to that,” you’d forgotten, in the period of silence, that you were waiting for him to say something. You tilted your head in confusion, and it honestly took all of Logan’s willpower not to launch into you and wrap you up in his arms. He really needed to pull himself together. “Look, I was pretty fuckin’ helpless when I came here. And I know you remember the state Marie was in. Neither of us thought we were worth savin’, but look at us now,” in complete honesty, Logan still didn’t think he was worth saving, but that was neither here nor there. “He’ll help ya. You’ll get this under control. And it ain’t all bad. He already said you had more control than he thought,” You could feel his eyes search your face as you closed yours. Maybe he was right. Charles had said you had more control over these strings than he thought. 

Logan was right. That was a good thing.

“Well, we’ll see tomorrow. That’s when we really start everything. We have another meeting before we’re straight into training, seeing if we can really develop this mutation before I cease to exist. No pressure right?” You half-joked, your lips quirking up into what you hoped was a smile. Or, at least, a lopsided one. 

Fuck he wanted to kiss you. Kiss you. When the hell was the last time he’d felt like this toward anyone? He hadn’t wanted to kiss anyone in goddamn years, and here you were, a woman he didn’t even believe existed a few hours ago, waltzing into his life and making him feel things like wanting to fucking kiss you. 

“I uh… ya know I wanted to apologise too.”

Well, that caught you off guard. “Wh– wait what? Why? What for?” you couldn’t help firing off questions at speeds you didn’t know you were capable of, utter bafflement contorting your features. 

“You were right. I don’t know you. And you don’t know me.” Logan watched as your face transformed from confusion, to hurt, to acceptance. 

“Yeah…. I did say that didn’t I? I–”

“But,” he interrupted, stopping you mid-sentence. “That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know ya…” Logan almost laughed aloud at how your eyes went comically wide. Did you know how cute you were? When you weren’t telling him to fuck off, that is.

“I– Uh, okay, sure… what d’ya wanna know?” you asked, hoping to fuck you didn’t sound ridiculous. If you didn’t, Logan didn’t seem to mind or care. 

“You can start of by tellin’ me how or where you learned to cook so well,” you scoffed loudly, rolling you eyes. “Nah I’m serious kid, that was fuckin’ great,” Logan leaned against the headboard, an arm positioned behind his head as you too made yourself comfortable again on the window seat, resting your elbow on your raised knee.

“Kid? Do you know how old I am?” you asked, smirking slightly. Though you were a little embarrassed, there was no way you’d show it. Kid? Did he seriously think you were that young? 

“Do you know how old I am?” he retorted, that same self-assured glint dancing in his eye. You peered at him in scrutiny, emphasising how hard you were looking at him by squinting intensely.

“I’d put you at around like, early thirties? Maybe mid? Am I hot or cold?” you asked, kinda hoping he was in the same sort of age bracket as you were. Not for any specific reason of course… just for… science.

Yeah. For science.

Though your heart deflated slightly at his bark of a laugh. “Not quite. Try mid to late hundred and thirties. Give or take a few years.” Once again you gaped at him, mouth wide open, jaw completely slack. He could get used to that sight. Dangerously used to it. “Take a picture bubs, it’ll last longer.”

“B-but… how–? Y–? Hundred and– what the fuck?” You couldn’t get over it. Though your mind was still reeling, you managed to recover quickly. “Why you don’t look a day over ninety. You’re in good shape for a fossil, though I was wondering why I was getting a lot of calls from museums recently… probably looking for their exhibit back,” you smirked wildly whilst Logan just stared at you, trying his fucking damnest not to let his disobedient lips quirk anywhere other than down. 

“Ya done?”

“I’ll probably think of some more. But, in all seriousness, how?” You asked, and Logan couldn’t detect anything other than genuine curiosity.

“Regenerative. I heal real quick, but that also keeps my body in good condition. Dunno exactly how old I am, but it’s around hundred and thirty,” he shrugged, and you whistled lowly. “So?” he prompted, and you looked up.

“So what?”

“How’dya make the pasta?” 

You snorted in amusement, before launching into an explanation about your brother and how he always had an interest in cooking and had taught you to cook simple things, like how to make a béchamel sauce, or how to make pesto from scratch. And if you weren’t so caught up in your storytelling, you would have noticed Logan drinking in every damn word like he was parched for conversation. Listening to you talk, the cadence of your voice, the way you pronounce every letter and the way you occasionally drop a letter, it was hypnotic. You didn’t have an abundance of energy, and whether that was simply because you were exhausted after the day you’d had, or if that was just who you were, he didn’t know. But honestly? He didn’t really care. 

As long as you kept talking, that was all that mattered. If he could take your mind off tomorrow, or your situation by letting you ramble about the smallest of things, he would. And he would pretend the whole time like he was doing this for you. And not because, at the end of everything, he liked listening to you. 

“Anyway, that’s how you tell the difference between a Thoroughbred and a Quarter Horse. And I will not make that mistake again.” You’d somehow weaved from topic to topic, the conversation ebbing and flowing for hours, you both taking turns in sharing random stories from your pasts, little anecdotes that gave context to who you both were as people now. And it was only thanks to the brief silence and the conveniently timed chime of the clock did you realise how late it was. Or rather, how early.

It was one in the fucking morning. How the hell did that happen? Your eyes slid back to Logan, who at some point had made himself comfortable on the opposite side of the window seat, and you watched as he had the same realisation. Holy shit.

“I should probably–”

“Look, you should–”

You both started to speak at the same time, before pausing to let the other talk first. It was gross and awkward and cringey but, for the life of you, you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

You stood, gathering your long abandoned, though now empty plate, and crossed the room to grab his from the bedside table. You heard Logan sigh heavily behind you in what you assumed was exhaustion. You couldn’t blame the man. You’d been talking for hours. 

Logan followed you to the door, holding it open for you as you stepped out into the hallway. You placed the crockery onto the floor, freeing your hands to wrap your arms around his neck in a similar embrace to the one before. Only this time, you felt his strong arms return your hug, wrapping you up tightly against his chest.

“Thank you. For letting me talk for hours. You don’t need to pretend you enjoyed it, by the way. But thank you all the same.” You stepped back, and Logan leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah well, you brought peace pesto and beer. How could I say no?” He quipped, and you chuckled lightly. He wasn’t about to admit he enjoyed your company far more than he should have done, and he sure as shit wasn’t about to admit he wasn’t pretending to like it. His eyes softened at your laugh in a way he’d stopped them from doing all evening. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

You peered up at him, a knowing spark dancing in your iris. You noticed. Of course, you’d noticed. That was almost exactly what you’d said to him earlier. The same hopeful lilt and all. 

“Sure.” Was all you said in return, before picking up the empty plates and bottles off the floor, and turning away to head back down the hallway. You refused to look back, worried that if you did, you’d run straight back to his room and never fucking leave.

But if you had. If you had just turned to look over your shoulder, you would have seen him leaning against the doorway still, eyes following you down the stairs, and lingering still, long after you’d disappeared.

Yeah… he was definitely in trouble.

[sunderwight]

SV AU where, while Luo Binghe is supposed to be in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu comes across a hellhound puppy.

Now, there is an arc in PIDW where Luo Binghe became a hellhound. But it happened like at least a century out from where they are in the timeline, after Binghe had come into his full demonic power, and involved him turning into a slavering beast that eventually become a slavering man-beast (werewolf, basically) who could only be cured by having a lot of very questionable sex with his wives. Shen Yuan wrote a rant about how yet another potentially interesting transformation arc was instead reduced to porn tropes, but it was one of several dozen such rants across many similar story arcs. Airplane barely even remembers writing it because he was having a pretty shit week and just wanted to get the chapters out.

So it doesn't really occur to either him or Shang Qinghua that finding a hellhound puppy might be suspicious. Unexpected, sure, but demons are turning up all over the place all the time, really. And it's years before Luo Binghe is even supposed to be out of the Abyss, like a century before his hellhound transformation story, and when Binghe did turn into a hellhound his two forms consisted of a fully-grown beast and a fully-grown man-beast. Not a puppy.

Of course: that hellhound puppy is definitely Luo Binghe.

He unwittingly triggered this subplot early, and because he's still a young adult, he gets stuck in a juvenile puppy form because hellhounds don't reach fully maturity until they're like fifty.

Anyway, this creates something of a pickle for Luo Binghe, because he's legitimately stuck in this form and can't figure out how to change back. This is not part of his plans. He's fleeing from Huan Hua Palace cultivators who are trying to kill him, which they might succeed at because his Heavenly Demon powers don't seem to be working.

He runs right into Shizun, who is on one of his "investigate stuff to forget the depression" field trips with Liu Qingge.

Luo Binghe is fully expecting his righteous Shizun to kill the demonic beast, and has a moment to think that at least that's better than being killed by Huan Hua, before Shizun rescues him instead.

Shen Qingqiu, meanwhile, is actually kind of excited. There was a lot of lore in PIDW about how hellhounds can actually make loyal companions if they're trained up from young enough of an age, but finding hellhound puppies would be difficult for anyone who wasn't a demonic nobleman, and most of the "trained" hellhounds just disappeared into the harem as gifts to various demon wives and were never seen or heard from again. No additional information, like the full extent of their abilities or what kind of companions they made beyond "loyal" or anything! A species of demon that could even potentially be domesticated by humans, and it was just left at that?!

Needless to say, Shen Qingqiu's not letting Huan Hua Palace kill this one. This is a rare chance for him to get a cool monster companion!

Although... such a creature might die when Luo Binghe comes to take his revenge.

Well, he'll deal with that when he has a chance. Maybe Shang Qinghua can take it to Mobei Jun or Shen Qingqiu can find another place for it before then. In the meanwhile, at least going back to Qing Jing Peak with him is better than being killed on the spot. He talks Liu Qingge into going along with it (Liu Qingge thinks he's insane but also folds like wet tissue paper), under stipulation that the hellhound's demonic energies are sealed and it gets muzzled before they bring it back with them.

Shen Qingqiu rides with it in a carriage, and feels so bad for the poor doggo looking miserable without his demon powers or even his mouth free that he secretly takes the muzzle back off while Liu Qingge isn't looking.

Luo Binghe is overwhelmed with the mixed sentiments of confusion (doesn't his shizun hate demons? is a Heavenly Demon really so especially repulsive to him?), happiness (he's going home! Shizun found him and is taking him home!), worry (Shizun please do not un-muzzle random demonic beasts just because they look sad!), and some rather embarrassing personal revelations about the appeal of being Shizun's pet. The latter situation worsens exponentially after the first time he gets good boy'd and petted for the first time.

Regardless, Shen Qingqiu does take him back to Qing Jing Peak and settles in to train and observe his new puppy. No one thinks this is precisely a good project but it is a project, and is not for instance "staring blankly into the distance while kneeling in front of a sword mound", so on balance everyone decides they'll just keep an eye on things and make sure the hellhound doesn't maul the peak lord. Lots of "just dropping in for a visits" by a rotating cast of peak lords (they have a schedule).

But the hellhound puppy is a fabulous pet! Actually, Shen Qingqiu thinks it's really remarkable how smart and readily tamed he is? Barely a few days in and he's obediently following Shizun's commands, except for "stay", which he seems to struggle with. He doesn't maul or threaten any of the disciples, only growls at Shang Qinghua sometimes and makes a few aggressive displays at Liu Qingge. The former case is just good taste, and as to the latter, well, clearly the hellhound is sensitive and intelligent, and has a more-than-rudamentary understanding of words spoken to him. He probably remembers that Liu Qingge wanted to kill him when they first met. Shen Qingqiu takes his time soothing his puppy and assuring him that he won't come to any harm, he's perfectly safe on Qing Jing Peak with Shen Qingqiu.

At least, for now.

Although actually, the more Shen Qingqiu thinks about it, the more convinced he becomes that Hellhound (sue him, he's not the best with names) would be a perfect companion for Luo Binghe once he gets out of the Abyss. The only difficulty would be in how to convince Binghe to accept him, and also how to keep his now-loyal hound from trying to defend his master when justice comes due. Shen Qingqiu figures he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it, and in the meanwhile takes some time to explain to Hellhound about his disciple, Luo Binghe, who is enduring a terrible trial in the Abyss, but who will return one day having become Emperor of the Demon Realms and could probably use a steadfast and intelligent companion who is interested in more than just his incredible amounts of power or irresistible good looks.

Luo Binghe Himself: ?!?!?!