#but they are generally normal for like. People over 60 or 70 & not someone in their 30s as I am.

[astralazuli]

hey, hi, I'm not gonna be able to make it today, yeah, no, I'm really busy having intense gender feelings & also a sleep attack

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

IT IS DONE! My main ref for Prometheus ship, aka Angel/The Player x The Prototype/Experiment 1006! Some thoughts under the cut:

Angel was Prototype's gender funkiness awakening. "What do you mean this thing I though was a me-thing only is not only normal but there's whole communities just about people who feel the same?" He lowkey cried when he found out about it.

Elliot was born either in 1898 or 1900, so there's an almost 60 years difference between them.

Elliot was just a bit smaller than Angel, but thanks to becoming the Prototype he's not GIGANTIC. RIP a king on the shorter side.

They're both aroace and on a loving QPR.

Angel is generally very physically affectionate, while Proto isn't used to touching others in general.

Angel is a bit awkward sometimes, while Proto is like. Half the time. Mostly because he doesn't remember his last relationship experience/it was 70 years ago, and also because some things are just so strange for him to do.

Prototype also isn't the jealous type, but when compared to Angel he does feel a bit of jealousy from time to time, always when a stranger/someone outside the family is interacting with Angel.

Proto is overprotective over his family in general, but Angel is a special case because they're the only human there.

Neither of them are too big on PDA - they're both really chill about it.

Proto can cook in theory but he can't make anything near as good as what Angel does.

Even if Prototype could fit into the driver's seat, Angel does NOT trust him to be there, esp with his hallucinations and tendency to go WAY too fast.

They aren't scared of bugs at all, but sometimes Angel just takes the little guys outside instead of killing them.

Angel is an introvert, but when compared to Proto they're like a social butterfly. Proto can safely talk with others without any problems, he just doesn't like it.

Proto uses "dear" from time to time. Angel uses nicknames for everyone - there isn't anything tied specific to what they would use for a lover.

Proto can't fit most of Angel's clothes, but Angel STEALS whatever they can find. It's theirs now.

If it wasn't for the massive size different, Proto and Angel would alternate from little spoon to big spoon without problem.

This is more of a +18 thing but if they weren't completely uninterested in sex, Angel's horny level would be around their waist, and Proto is the same as his physical affection level.

[i-am-shifting-tides]

Dear Shifters,

If you’re having trouble in believing into shifting, let me tell you my biggest break through & what I believe, my first shift (since manifesting is shifting)

I recently started looking into Dr. Joe Dispenza & Nevilla Goddards work, because I wanted to know more about the whole act on shifting & meditating.

Let’s go back a bit, I work for a huge international company in my field of work & im currently a „trainee“ in a program (there is no other word for it in English) & I also have to attend a school while working.

I am in my third & last year of this trainee program, we’re back after summer break & my friend noticed a guy, she’s currently going through a rough break-up & the two of us have been joking about her finding her next boyfriend pretty soon. This guy should have been in our course for the entire program time, just in another class, which is weird because we have NEVER noticed him before FOR TWO YEARS, even though we pass by others from the same program 24/7 + we have events that require us to meet everyone else. But we have NEVER seen him.

Fast forward, she told me she started to have a crush on him & I jokingly said we should manifest him talking to her (because she was shy) & so we both decided to do that. She on the other hand, didn’t use a proper technique she just listened to meditations etc. while I’ve been manifesting using meditations from said „scientists“

So the day came where we both manifested him to talk to her (it was like an event I mentioned earlier) but he didn’t show up (sick ig) & she was devastated. But we both agreed that it’s because she didn’t break up with her boyfriend properly (he’s been taking it very hard and she tries to respect his mental health) so I told her, that when she is officially single it will happen.

So due to that event, she broke up with her boyfriend the very next day (last Friday) and even though it was messy, we were happy for her.

So, now we’re finally at the part you’ve all been waiting for:

Monday morning (today) she went to the bathroom at her office, came back and ran into a person (who tried to catch her, instead of pulling away/falling too whatever hahah hope you get what I mean) & she looks up and ITS THE SAID GUY. The chances of this, were practically 0. As I said, I work in a company, normally our trainee program doesn’t allow someone entering while the program is running. Also in our general program we are about 60-70 people PER YEAR. We have over 50 departments, there are several other company’s in my field who offer trainees to start mid program OUR COMPANY DOES NOT (usually)

So randomly, her dream guy that we have been manifesting the entire time, starts working in HER DEPARTMENT in THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR. At the exact moment we both predicted him to join her life too.

That’s just the most bizarre thing I have ever witnessed, I 100% believe into shifting/manifesting now.

If this worked, anything else works as well. I’m pretty sure I have shifted to a universe where this was possible.

I hope I was able to motivate some of you, happy shifting!!

[romantic-reveries]

I remember being in my early twenties and reading about a man in his 60s or 70s committing suicide. I remember thinking that was wild — normally you only hear about younger people doing that.

I remember thinking it was the kind of thing you grew out of with perspective. Young adult angst. That if you hadn’t done it in your teens or twenties, surely you weren’t going to.

How sweet and naive I was. Maybe he’d been suicidal all those years and held off as long as he could. Who knows.

I hate being the way I am. And I don’t think I could ever kill myself, but sometimes I wish I didn’t exist. Often I wish that. And I think of that man, and I think, maybe it took him a lifetime to work up the nerve.

Which is so… god, like silly and overdramatic and morbid. But it’s like as time goes on and I am better in so many ways, somehow my lows still only get lower. Stronger. Like it’s wearing me down.

When I get like this, overstimulated by stress, it just takes nothing at all. I was in an okay mood, talking with my boyfriend about the epiphany I had about how maybe part of why I feel so bad is because I internalize everything, because when I’ve mentioned to him and my grandma how I feel like a raging bitch lately, they don’t see it. Because I’m not being outside, only internally. Thinking mean things I normally wouldn’t be able to fathom about humanity and other people.

And I told him I’m in my fuck off era, and repeatedly — rather jokingly — that everyone can just go fuck off, and he responded, in a sort of annoyed sounding way “I get the message”, as if I’ve been going on too much about it. My grandma does that to me, too. It’s the sort of thing that instantly fills me with shame so strong I want to die. As if I’ve been annoyingly chattering on. I know I have a tendency to repeat things for emphasis — I don’t know, maybe an adolescence full of never being truly heard will do that to you. But I think, as someone who generally never shows my annoyance with people, even when it’s deserved, it’s frustrating to have people who are supposed to love me react that way to me.

It makes me want to never speak again. To have no opinions and no thoughts and simply passively exist in other people’s peripherals. Even better, to disappear. But I don’t know how to articulate to them how badly that cuts me.

And I’m telling him how I think I’m just always so worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, doing something I regret, that I find it easier to be silent in moments of conflict, when something rubs me wrong, instead of saying “hey, that was rude and uncalled for.” And he starts talking to his kid. And by no means, should I take precedence over his children. I don’t think that for a second. But she didn’t initiate with him, he initiated with her, and only to joke. It’s hurtful to be pouring my heart out and have attention shifted.

And I know it’s me. I’m the problem. I’m too sensitive. Especially when I get like this. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. I wish I did, but I don’t.

[zkzm500a2]

feel like answering them but nobody ever asks so i'm going to pull a major funny and just answer them all here

1. yeah for the most part

2. my girlfriend

3. who doesn't

4. yes, not cripplingly so but definitely notably so

5. taken, i have a girlfriend who i love

6. gunshot to the head. 9x19mm or .45 caliber preferably

7. slice o pizza from my work

8. no, but when i was in high school i signed up for my school's CS:GO comp league and then never participated

9. not compulsively, but i do usually bite them off instead of clip them off

10. good question, probably back in elementary school. 4th or 5th grade

11. as in, do i have a crush on someone? or just a general positive opinion of someone? elementary school ass question. anyway i have a crush on my girlfriend whom i love

12. i've gone over 24, but never hit 48 (and don't plan to)

13. public figures yeah, but nobody i know personally

14. who doesn't

15. two cats :)

16. pretty neutral, not stoked about going back to work but definitely not bad

17. not yet, but i can see it happening

18. i mean i'm not arachnophobic but i think i have a normal human level of fear of spiders. i respect them and their space and go out of my way to avoid killing them

19. yes but only to shoot my past self in the head. oh and to see the Crab Nebula in person :)

20. my girlfriend's bedroom

21. work son!!! today's saturday and i have work tomorrow too

22. i've long said it depends on who i end up with

23. no i do not, i wouldn't be opposed to getting my ears pierced though

24. history and other social studies. i'm not a r/history guy but i've always liked it

25. isn't this also question 14?

26. some fuckin... gotdamn uhh... not much really

27. yeah

28. not that i'm aware of

29. yeah

30. my shoes!!! my work shoes fucking suck i'm getting new ones asap

31. yes. go ahead and guess who it is

32. yellow orange

33. nothing too extreme i don't think

34. hell if i know, i rarely remember my dreams. last one i remember involved a former coworker flirting with me and i was like "woah hey i have a girlfriend"

35. hard to remember. my mom, probably

36. i mean i give them out but only when reasonable to me. also i don't have such shitty friends that i need to give second chances

37. forget!!! i don't remember a goddamn thing

38. i mean statistically yeah but we're only six days in. 2023 was pretty solid for me though

39. Twenny

40. not completely naked but i have been in my backyard naked from the waist down before

51 (it jumps from 40 to 51 lmao). idk man i can't pick favorites. americans do be eating cheesed burger though

52. yeah but that reason isn't spiritual

53. drew a fake website named "i love you dot com" in ms paint and sent it to my girlfriend

54. i want to say no but my parents got together through cheating on their previous partners and they've been together the whole time. so like, in 99% of cases no

55. no i'm niceys :) i used to be a dick online but i've always actively tried to be nice in person

56. one guy, but at least twice

57. i mean i guess it depends on your definition of "true," but generally yeah

58. overcast and chilly is a go-to but i also love the sunny and chilly that comes after a storm in the winter or early spring

59. conceptually yes, but i would never want to drive in it

60. yeah

61. depends on the context of course but generally i'm into it

62. bideo games give me pleasure, but hanging out with my friends or my girlfriend makes me actually happy

63. i mean i'd prefer to keep my current name but in the event i had to, i have one in mind that i like

64. absolutely not, it's easy as hell

65. i'd be like "sorry i have a girlfriend. and you know this. she's all i talk about"

66. yeah

67. my girlfriend

68. how deep are we talking? probably my girlfriend though no matter how you define it

69. in a spiritual sense no, but it's still a helpful term

70. man i'd die for 20 bucks. but yeah there are several people i'd die for

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[goldyknows]

*** Alright Golden Peeps, coming in HARD on this one. Not holding back. ***

When I started this photo page... I TRIED to keep it about ONLY photography "stuff". I TRIED to keep my personality at bay, conceal who I am and what I do, and JUST make it about photography. Not working! lol. I was AFRAID if I was myself, people wouldn't like me and not want me to take their photos.

People, especially women, well, not playing the sympathy card, haven't been very kind to me growing up. I was too "weird" and different. I thought if was just a generic photographer... maybe I would get more work.

I was very surprised. A 40 over 40 "Women's Portrait Experience?" Who would have ever thought if you knew how the girls in school used to be to me? Other women in business... atrocious. Not this time around. I write this in tears. I've never met so many BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, TALENTED, ENCOURAGING women in my LIFE. Every friend and client I've met, who has come through the studio doors has blessed me far beyond anything I ever could have dreamed possible. That's why I don't just call you clients, I call you "friends."

A friend I never saw coming is repeat offender Joni Werthan Joni Werthan. This is her SECOND photoshoot this year. What do I even say? This is the chick you want by your side always.

They say you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat their server. You can tell a lot by how someone treats their photographer as well.

I never have to worry if Joni Werthan will pay me because it's taken care of with a tip before I have to ask. She's generous and kind and knows how to deal with and treat people, especially artists. These photos I'll be posting don't even exist. Parts do, but heads of dogs from frames where their expressions are perfect are painstakingly added in, clothes enhanced, fur brightened, jewels added, and other things that go into an edit. These photos can take 2-3 hours a piece to make perfect. So I don't enjoy people breathing down my neck when my wrist feels like rubber! Lol. I'm working on them! Only 24 hours in a day people.

Joni is all about everything I do. Complimenting not only the photo work but the music our band creates and other important things. She gets it. She gets people. People like her I WHY I stay up all night working. It doesn't feel like work. Not when someone pours magic onto you constantly.

Joni! Thanks for NOT being one of those pretty popular girls that normally would take a big dump on me! For once, through this wonderful promotion, I get to meet the beautiful girls who ARE gorgeous on the inside. I pinch myself! Everyone, especially YOU has been so magical.

Thank you. Enjoy these epic photos of you and your two crazy sidekicks! I will remember this shoot always.

Love Goldy.

#TheFactoryPhotography #TheFactoryPhotographyByGoldy #GoldyLocks #nashvillephotographer #nashvillephotography

@makeup.by.lorrie

[cleverthylacine]

I was born on the cusp of the Boom and GenX but I consider myself GenX because I do not feel like I had the same life at all as the people who were young adults during the Vietnam War and the Summer of Love, and I want to say that everything this man said is basically true, but there are caveats.

1964, the year I was born, is considered the last year of the Baby Boom. A lot of times I hear you guys talking about "boomers" whom you describe as being ... somewhere between the ages of 35 and 55. These people are not actually Boomers, they are Gen X. That's the generation that I identify with. We came of age after the Vietnam War and the protests and the hippies were over and done with.

Our generation was even more strongly affected by HIV and AIDS than the boomers were because we were the young adults of the 1980s.

The Boomers were the children of the late 40s and 50s. They were young adults, not children, in the 60s and 70s. The "baby boom" is considered as having lasted till 1964 because 64-65 is when postwar birth rates dropped, but the life experience of someone who was born in 1964 and was 16 in 1980 is wholly different from the life experience of someone who was a teen or young adult in the era of the 1960s/1970s. And NOBODY who was born 1965 or later is even "technically" a Boomer.

A lot of Boomers I know are actually pretty liberal. The Vietnam War killed a lot of Boomers, but a lot of the really liberal ones didn't go and had a disproportionate effect on the more conservative groups of young people back then.

AIDS was primarily killing young queer people and activists. AIDS also fuelled the Moral Majority and the rise of fundamentalism because it made people afraid of sex.

I don't think anyone who is young today can understand quite what it was like to be young and sexually active and not in a monogamous relationship in the 1980s.

A lot of people my age were angry at the hippies and the liberals and the sexual revolution and those are largely the ones that became evangelical conservatives. They also were the ones who voted for Reagan overwhelmingly. (The horror I felt when I learned someone I'd slept with was a Reagan voter can't really be overstated.)

A lot of the people my age that I was friends with were dying when the evangelicals and the Reagan conservatives were getting started.

So here is my advice. Gen Z and Gen Alpha have the determination the Greatest Generation had to fix things and create a safety net, but they also have the Boomers' desire to change things and make life easier and happier for people. The Boomers were Stonewall. My generation, unfortunately, was largely the Moral Majority.

In order to prevent this from happening again you need to do the following things: 1) Work your asses off to restore the social safety net and MAKE SURE your kids SEE you doing it and KNOW WHY you are doing what you're doing and what you're trying to shore up and prepare for. Do not tell them that they have to depend only on themselves. Tell them what your generation has already figured out--that we're not going to make it without each other, that we need a social safety net.

2) DO NOT let purity culture win. Yes, the 1960s/1970s sexual revolution had a lot wrong with it -- mostly because it needed feminism. Birth control made it easier to say yes, but also harder to say no if you hadn't learned how to say no when your no wasn't backed up by fear of Consequences. AIDS replaced pregnancy as Consequences in the mind of a lot of people who came of age in the 80s and weren't in the group I was in where a lot of us died.

3) Do not, as the Greatest Generation did, preach conformity of gender and social roles as a false source of safety and normality. Marriage is an important legal right because it allows you to easily do so many things that are hard for single people in a relationship to do otherwise and makes things clear, but it's not actually a solution for relationship problems or poverty and scarcity.

Anyhow, the people you're mad at, mostly, aren't Boomers. The youngest "technical" Boomers are 60 and they're not really Boomers; we were too young to have ever been the flower children or had to worry about getting drafted and sent to Vietnam.

If you're mad at people who are in late middle age, that's Gen X. :)

And it's important to know this not because we're evil (we're not, although a lot of our better angels didn't make it through the 80s and 90s to the era of HIV treatments that work) but because most of us were RAISED by the early Boomers and those who became Reagan conservatives and evangelicals were doing it out of fear that their parents, who had been letting their freak flags fly, had gone too far.

In a lot of ways we were like Gen Alpha, raised by the early millennials, in that we were raised by the early hippies.

Hope this helps.

(Also, many people do NOT get more conservative with age. I was 'socially liberal and financially conservative' in my teens and early 20s and then in the 90s got involved with queer activism and started working in health care and blossomed into a full on defund the police borderline anarchocommie progressive over the course of the last 34 years. The way people change as they age depends on what they experience and how open they are and how much attention they pay and how much they're willing to let go of their past.)

I mean, we knew, but it's nice to hear so succinctly

[bikenesmith]

i have some thoughts about monica rambeau in wandavision re: antiblackness & misogynoir that i've been musing over. crossposted from twitter.

note: wanda maximoff in wandavision is whitewashed. comics wanda is originally nonwhite (romani + jewish). because of that, i'm going to refer to wandavision wanda as "wanda" to create distance because "wanda"'s status as a white woman is important here

i have an issue with the way wandavision positions monica & "wanda". there's not enough attention brought to why monica feels so strongly about helping "wanda". monica speaks vaguely about her own experience with grief in the few times she's able to communicate with "wanda".

but wandavision doesnt take the time to explore this, even though the content is there. monicas relationship w carol makes her sympathetic to powered beings in ways others arent, she's looking for someone to relate to about grief directly correlated to the snap, etc

instead we get monica repeatedly risking her life for a white woman for reasons we, as the viewers, don't get a close look at. and we need to get a close look at that, for the benefit of monica's character and the narrative as a whole. this lack of context creates a replication of antiblack media tropes of black women sacrificing themselves, their safety, and their happiness for white women & girls. this is directly related to the sassy black friend trope (which is descended from the mammy caricature).

speaking of sassy black friends.

we all heard that "which one is the sassy friend" line. yes, it came from hayward, who is a complete asshole. we're meant to see him as a bad person. but there needed to be more dialogue to expose the racist overtones of that statement. otherwise we are left with a random piece of antiblack microaggression in the dialogue that confuses and/or harms black audiences. there was a big opportunity there to expose the realities of workplace macro/microaggressions against black women and wandavision dropped the ball.

this calls back to "geraldine". in the 60s ep, her character is characterized normally. however, in the 70s ep, this changes completely. 70s monica is loud, sassy, & blissfully unaware bc she's too self-absorbed. she's the exact picture of a 1970s "funky black woman" stereotype.

lets be clear. there is nothing wrong with being black and loud and sassy. im sarcastic af. thing is, monica's nothing like that. she's a very serious person. this characterization makes no sense outside of 70s-style stereotyping. later, we literally see her cringe at the replay of "geraldine". it's as if, metatextually, she recognizes that antiblack caricature.

the implications of "wanda" pushing monica into that stereotype and forcing her body/mind to play out that role is horrifying. and outside of the fiction, it is similarly horrifying for the white showrunners to include that. compounding that with "wanda" violently throwing monica out of the hex once she breaks from that role....it paints a very ugly picture

monica still wanting to help "wanda" so bad and so unconditionally after that....? points back to what i said about black sacrifice for white women

(also: even if "wanda" isn't really "in charge", and agatha is, it doesn't matter. they're both white, and monica believed wanda was in control to some extent)

monica is an incredible character and incredibly important as representation for darkskinned black women. i teared up at the scene of her pushing into the hex and gaining her powers. so much of that, & her characterization at large, can be narratively connected to the trauma black women and black people of other marginalized genders go through, and have to come out on the other side of

that’s why it’s so important to be critical of the ways (white) showrunners write her (and black characters in general), especially in relation to their white counterparts.

[tickling-stringz]

hey i have METALOCALYPSE TICKLE HEADCANONS

Nathan Explosion (80/20 Ler-leaning Switch)

Ler:

This man is like a bear. He is a big tall man who will not hesitate to pick someone up.

Expect a lot of sudden squeezes to the sides.

He has really blunt nails so he usually has to dig in to really get someone squealing.

Do not try to pester him into tickling you because he will tickle you, but he will not let up until you are on the verge of death.

He doesn't use tickles to torture anyone, especially if he knows that his lee does not like those types of tickles, but he is so used to being rough with his hands that he probably needs a constant reminder if he's too rough.

Lee:

Nathan is definitely a little bit ticklish. He isn't ticklish in many places, but his stomach (especially since it's chubby) makes him chuckle.

He has a very gruff laugh (cuz he's a metal singer lmao)

There is a way to make him sorta giggle, and it's only if you squeeze right on his shoulder blades. He will scrunch his neck up and squirm a bit before he finally realizes what's happening.

The guy has no control over his body when he gets tickled, so he might accidentally break something if hes tickled for too long, whether it's you or something else in the room.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf (50/50 Switch)

Ler:

Skwisgaar has those ✨magic guitar hands✨ so you can bet he is a good ler.

He doesn't tickle many people unless if he has...Mhm..."relations" with them.

The only people he really tickles outside of that is his bandmates, but it's rare at that.

Skwisgaar prefers to be light with his tickling, using his nails to trace the skin rather than digging into the skin.

He is also a VERY flirty ler, hence why he mainly tickles his love interests. He has a deep voice, so he often growls playful teases in their ears.

Lee:

Although Skwisgaar is a flirty ler, he can NOT handle being complimented as a lee.

He likes being complimented in general, but when he's being tickled??? No, he will DIE of being flustered.

Hes ticklish in average places like his feet, armpits, stomach, ribs. But a kind of rare place that he's ticklish is the tip of his ears.

Despite having a deep voice, his laugh is squeaky and hysterical.

He's kind of like Nathan as well when he's tickled, being a squirmy mess. Skwisgaar will often curl in on himself to try and protect himself.

Toki Wartooth (30/70 Lee-leaning Switch)

Ler:

Toki also has those ✨magic guitar hands ✨, but he isn't much of a ler.

He does like to tickle people in general just so he can see them smile and hear them laugh.

As a ler, Toki is a playful guy. He often calls himself a tickle monster and uses a lot of verbal teasing on his victims.

Definitely busts out the "I gotchus~!" before he pounces, or even while hes tickling someone.

Toki also has some muscle on him so he is able to hold someone down while he tickles them, you cannot tell me he can't.

Lee:

Oh my God, this poor man.

He is always picked on by the band for being the youngest member AND probably the most ticklish.

He is a bundle of nerves. One poke to his back and he is already giggling.

Do NOT try to compliment him either when you tickle him, he will DIE.

He does actually love being tickled by others because it gives him an excuse to squeal and giggle in front of others, especially his bandmates.

Pickles The Drummer (40/60 Lee-leaning Switch)

Ler:

Pickles may be the shortest member of the group, but he is not a force to be reckoned with if he is in a ler mood.

This chaotic drummer will sneak up on you and POUNCE.

In a ler mood, Pickles will NOT let up until either he gets tired or until his victim pleads for air. There's no inbetween.

He goes from slow and methodical tickling with his blunt nails to a sudden digging motion. And he does this the WHOLE 👏 TIME 👏

Not much of a verbal teaser but he'll talk and joke with his victim. "Oh, ya like that joke? Yeaaah, I know I'm reeeeal funny!"

Lee:

Pickles is normally too drunk to do anything, so he's a very vulnerable lil man.

He doesn't mind being touched anyway when he's drunk, so that might be the best time you want to tickle him.

He has such a giggly laugh, it's unbelievable. He has no RIGHT to make those noises.

Do NOT get his feet. Those are his absolute death spot and he WILL end up kicking you in the nose.

Lesson Learned: Pickles is a cutie pie but he is a dangerous lee with how much he kicks.

William Murderface (60/40 Ler-leaning Switch)

Ler:

Murderface doesn't tickle his bandmates unless he is drunk. Like, REALLY DRUNK.

Drunk Murderface leads to him tickling a drunk Pickles, and ending up having to get his nose bandaged from being kicked in the face.

He is actually a very loving ler, whether he's drunk with the band or sober with a love interest.

He switches up his style of tickling depending on who he's tickling so he can make them laugh as hard as possible.

Definitely has a thing for navels and loves loves LOVES to poke them whether or not the person's navel is ticklish.

Lee:

Murderface is hella ticklish on his underarms and thighs.

He is definitely a cackler and he actually is a bit embarrassed by his laugh.

He claims that he is not ticklish because "Being ticklish is NOT brutal!" but he is. He so is.

The band knows he's ticklish and often take advantage of it when he's being an ass during practice.

Most practices end with either Murderface or Toki getting the absolute shit wrecked out of them.

[battlestarbones]

There's a LOT of well-intentioned misinformation on this post from many many people, but I'm reblogging this comment bc it's the most detailed comment I saw. The above is mostly correct, but a few details are wrong. (110/70 is a lovely, perfectly normal BP and so is 100/60, especially for healthy young people. 135 on top is "elevated" but almost never acutely concerning and so is 95 on the bottom, although it's relatively more elevated.)

Sources: American Heart Association (linked where relevant below) and my education as a 4th year USAmerican medical student. This post is intended as education-only and not as medical advice for any specific individual or situation.

The most important thing missing from most of the advice on this post is that a concerning blood pressure is context-dependent.

Here is a chart from the American Heart Association. From here. All the numbers discussed below are for adults only.

As you can see, a normal BP is <120/80. Usually 90/60 is considered the bottom end of normal BP. This is the ideal range to be in over the long term (for most people) because it is healthiest for your heart, blood vessels, and kidneys. If you're concerned about low blood pressure, you can read more here.

Chronically elevated blood pressure is considered hypertension and should be treated with lifestyle changes and medication to maximize long term health. By definition, hypertension cannot be diagnosed from a single elevated BP reading. It requires multiple readings separated in time.

If you are reading this and already have high blood pressure diagnosed by your doctor, following their advice is your best strategy!

What is a concerning blood pressure? That depends on a lot of factors.

An acute change in BP is often the most concerning. The body habituates/adjusts to even an abnormal BP over time, so it will tolerate BPs in that range better than someone who usually has a very different BP.

For example, a BP of 200/120 is dangerously high for anyone. But I would be much more concerned about it in someone whose typical BP is 120/80 than in someone who has poorly-controlled hypertension and whose BP was 180/110 at their PCP visit last week. That high blood pressure is still going to do a lot of damage long term in the chronic hypertension patient, but I'm much less worried about their body being unable to handle it acutely over hours to days (e.g. causing flash pulmonary edema, hemorrhagic stroke, myocardial infarction) than I am about the patient without hypertension who suddenly has a sky-high BP. Additionally, quickly lowering BP to "normal" in a patient who has had a very high BP for a long time is often dangerous.

In the opposite direction, a BP of 85/55 is very low, but I am much more worried about that BP in a patient who usually has a normal or high BP than if I'm seeing a patient with chronic systolic heart failure on maximum medical therapy whose BP is maybe 90/60 on a good day. I'm much more worried about the cause of the low BP (and potentially the consequences) in the patient who should have a normal to high BP, compared to the heart failure patient.

As a very general guideline, intended just to provide more context on what a BP reading might mean:

If you are feeling well, a BP reading between 120/80 and about 160/100 is a good reason to make an appointment to see your primary care doctor. They can repeat your BP and give you advice.

If you are feeling well, a BP reading higher than 160/100 is a good reason to call your PCP and ask to speak to someone in the office about how soon they would like to see you.

Now we'll get to the section labeled in the chart as Hypertensive Crisis. The new guidelines break this into 2 categories:

1. Hypertensive Urgency

If the top number is >180 OR the bottom number is >120 AND you're feeling well, this is considered hypertensive urgency. You should call your PCP right away for advice and may need to go to the emergency room, especially if you can't speak to or see your PCP.

2. Hypertensive Emergency

Hypertensive emergency is the ONLY situation in which elevated blood pressure is a true medical emergency. Hypertensive emergency occurs when high blood pressure causes damage to your organs. This is diagnosed when the top number is >180 OR the bottom number is >120 AND you have signs/symptoms of "target organ damage."

From the AHA.

tl;dr: whether a blood pressure reading is "concerning" depends on the context. if you feel well in the moment, your blood pressure is probably not acutely dangerous. if you have any concerns about your own blood pressure, you should talk to a primary care provider. (also fyi cocaine and other non-prescription stimulant use can cause severely elevated blood pressure in otherwise healthy young people and for that reason can lead to severe complications including heart attack and stroke. i genuinely don't care what you put in your own body but i think people should be informed about the risks.)

[crones-trash]

My teenage son is diabetic and recently we changed from Blue Cross to United Healthcare which we are enrolled in through my husband’s work. We recently got a bill for over $700 because it turns out the new insurance didn’t cover his blood work, AT ALL. We pay $1000 a month, plus co-pays for everything, and yet they don’t cover his blood tests to determine his A1C, cholesterol, etc. luckily they do cover most of his insulin, but we still pay over $100 a month in co-pays for that. Our healthcare system is an absolute joke. My husband and I have GOOD jobs, we HAVE healthcare, yet we can’t afford to go to the doctor. Please tell me how the richest country in the world allows this to happen.

The same way teenagers are allowed to buy assault rifles to mow down blameless citizens AND CHILDREN...again...and again.

It's all about money.

Insurance providers OWN Congress Critters to insure they continue to amass ill-gotten wealth for their CEO's & shareholders. Gun manufacturers OWN the NRA & successfully OWN almost the entire Republican Party! Since the Supreme Court ruled in favor of corporate bribery by treating it as equal to the free speech of individuals, too many members of Congress in both parties have been bought by campaign "contributions" to serve the 1%—not their voters.

It feels like our country is at a breaking point & I despair. But I'm going to tell you how to fight back! Get your doctor to print out the order to the Lab. Go directly to the Lab that does your son's blood work, present the order, & yourself as a "Self-Pay" (someone w/o insurance), and NEGOTIATE!

I swear this works because I've done it. I have gone entire decades w/o insurance that forced me to learn how to bargain w/ doctors & other healthcare providers. You need to understand all medical services are grossly inflated to cover the costs inflicted on them by insurers. Remind them you will pay them directly, spare them the paperwork, & waiting months to be paid by an insurance company. They will give you a Self-Pay discount. Depending on who they are & your level of desperation, you might get as much as 70% off & they'll offer a payment plan that you can afford to pay off the balance.

It's not too late to negotiate a payment plan for your current bills but you can get a discount & better terms if you deal w/ them before it goes thru insurance. Sparing them that effort is your prime bargaining chip AND THE FACT that the people you will talk to face-to-face are human beings who are in healthcare because they care. They absolutely want to help you work around the system.

Now I'll tell you a funny story: Back in the 80's, I got a fucking boil on my butt that I couldn't reach & went to a doc-in-a-box to get it lanced. They referred me to a General Surgeon! I saw him & he wanted to admit me for out-patient surgery at a nearby hospital. There would be an anesthesiologist & I'd feel no pain.

I said, "Stop, wait, I don't have insurance. How much is all that going to cost?"

"I don't know exactly," he furrowed his brow, "Maybe $3500."

I exclaimed, "To lance a boil! That's ridiculous! Do it right here & now! I'll lean over this examining table, you jab it w/ a scalpel, squeeze, clean, slap a bandage on it, & your work is done. I'd do it myself but I can't reach it."

He argued w/ me about the pain & I replied, "I have gone thru natural childbirth—twice. I can handle it."

He started to get excited, said, "Wait, I think I've got a form," & hurried off. He returned w/ a waiver that absolved him of liability for performing a procedure outside of "normal" protocols. I signed it & he got even more excited, "I haven't done anything as direct & simple as this since I was a medic in Nam. I pay a fortune for medical liability insurance & they dictate the protocols."

He was absolutely thrilled to work outside of the system & called me brilliant for not even flinching when he jabbed me. I got my boil lanced for the discounted price of a Self-Pay office visit—$60 paid in full upon receipt of services. He also gave me a free sample of antibiotic ointment & a few waiver forms to use in the future, which I did.

DON'T FEEL HELPLESS! FIGHT BACK!

[wellthatwasaletdown]

Only if you think that wearing dresses and skirts means he's gay and if you do this is a form of homophobia, so hopefully nobody thinks in that stereotyped way. The only other thing he does for the lgbt community is run around with pride flags and help people come out. I don't think that's queerbaiting either.///

Aww anon that's not what we mean by queerbaiting.

Queerbaiting is when Harry changes the pronouns of his songs to 'HE' when it's originally you or she.

Queerbaiting is when Harry describes the fish in Adore you as a 'he'. Saying he's traveling and all that BS.

Queerbaiting is when he sings the unreleased song medicine. Rob Sheffield of Rolling stone recently confirmed that Harry confirmed the lyrics of medicine as " i mess around with them". But in a lot of concerts he sang it using 'him'. And his fans use medicine as a coming out song for Harry. Those fans doesn't realise he's baiting them.

Queerbaiting is when Harry released Lights up on National Coming out day (October 11). Harry's multi million dollar carefully calculated career doesn't have any coincidences. Everyone knows the imagery in that music video and don't tell me we're supposed to understand something else from that video.

He said he wasn't bi when British GQ asked about his relationship with Nick Grimshaw. Now all this "I'm unlabelled" BS is to hide the fact that he's straight. Harry is a boring straight dude who's profiting off of this whole ambiguity he creates around his image. If some artists are in the closet and are queercoding then it'd be very subtle, they wouldn't go around doing loud queercoding and baiting that Harry does. Everything with Harry has been so loud and so much in your face. He's throwing baits at people so that they would notice him and find something interesting in his otherwise boring personality. And when people call out his baiting Harries would start their he's unlabelled argument, well he's given people reason to look further into him and that's what he wanted in the first place. Harry's behaviour on stage is solidifying the weird stereotypes about the queer community. He acts different in regular life and on stage, if his stage behaviour is natural for him then why don't he act that way in real life. His young fans might believe in all the stereotypes Harry portrays. There are all kinds of people in the queer community and portraying just one stereotype on stage is sending the wrong message. Harry's actions are again putting the community in a box, something people have been struggling to break. Not all gay men wear dresses and nail polish not all of them like to be sexual in public.

I think associating dresses and skirts with being gay is only such an issue among our new generation. Because people who grew up with those 50s 60s 70s 80s & 90s rockstars, popstars and actors were familiar that it was not just the queer who had it.

Marlene Dietrich and Katherine Hepburn wore suits & pants when it was not normal for women to do that. Katherine also tried men's haircut. 50s & 60s had Little Richard who later inspired Bowie, Prince, MJ etc. 60s 70s had all those rockstars Jagger, Bowie. 80s had Prince & Annie Lennox and many more. 90s had Kurt Cobain, Dennis Rodman etc. Dennis Rodman is such an icon for his fashion in the 90s, groundbreaking for someone from the sports field. He wore a wedding dress to promote his autobiography. Cobain was such an icon for supporting women and gays. He wore dresses and stuff several times for magazines and performances. But nobody felt like Cobain was queerbaiting.

Cobain was a strong feminist whereas Harry's image of rockstar is being a misogynist, objectifying and sexualising women and being pretentious.

People being upset over Harry's Vogue cover is not because of homophobia like his fans say. People were upset because eventhough it was ugly every media started praising Harry as some gender breaking fashion icon as if he was the first man to do it. His fashion choices in FL era are ugly af. The only outfit that was kinda good was his 2019 met Gala dress. Every other outfit he tried out was wearing him rather than him wearing it. LGBTQ community took issue with Vogue cover because Harry a straight white man was getting flooded with praises for the same thing trans people face violence and criticism for. For Harry the dress was just another thing to expand his career but for many queer people wearing dresses means facing violence and hardships. Besides in 2016 Young Thug wore a purple dress for his album and he didn't get recognition & praise that Harry got. Jaden Smith, Ezra Miller all wore dresses and skirts before Harry but where was this media. When Harry is doing something the media makes it a new and exciting thing.

Wearing dresses is the bare minimum for these celebrities, they should actually start doing all the traditional things associated with women like cooking, cleaning, being compassionate, kind, being soft and comforting etc.

All the gay icons I know had killer fashion sense, strong personality and faced a hard life. So if Harry wants to be gay icon he should atleast try to have good fashion.

Now I don't want to explain how Harry uses Larry because people have explained it here before. But you can still be in denial.

.

[mcwriting]

His Mobius

Lol y'all gonna hate me for this one but what can I say, I'm obsessed with this ship and slightly disappointed in the season finale.

Not my normal jam so sorry to those who only follow me for T. Holland content

Picks up where ep 6 leaves off. Don't read if you don't wanna get spoiled lol.

Ship: Loki vs. Mobius M. Mobius (one-sided)

Word Count: 1212

Warnings: it's sad boi hours in here y'all prepare to have your heart ripped out for a second; also spoilers

⏰

The color had drained from Loki's face as he realized what was going on when he stared at the giant statue of He Who Remains.

With the intense branching of timelines, Sylvie had kicked him into a random, newly-born universe.

He turned back to the man he knew-

No. He didn't know this man.

This was Mobius. M. Mobius, but not his Mobius. M. Mobius.

"I... I- I- I need a tempad, please," Loki begged the not-his-Mobius.

"Don't you have one? Wait- I'm sorry, who are you again? You never answered my question," not-Mobius said with growing suspicion.

He didn't know this Loki, or seem to know any Lokis at all, but he still knew to question guys who came up asking frantic questions and requesting other agents' tempads.

Loki didn't know how to answer.

For once he wanted to tell the truth, but there was no way he'd be able to explain things to this not-Mobius. He didn't have time. He needed to find his Mobius.

With a swift glance, he located not-Mobuis's tempad and with even swifter precision snatched it from the man.

"Hey wait!" he cried, but it was too late.

Loki had already punched in random numbers and opened a portal, stepping through into the unknown.

⏰

The yellow rectangle behind Loki closed as soon as he stepped through, and he knew that with all the chaos, he probably wouldn't ever be found.

As he got his bearings, Loki started to register the sights and sounds around him, along with the humid heat that made his already sweaty skin feel even stickier.

He blinked a couple times before realizing what he was looking at.

Somewhat.

He was in a rainforest.

"Midgard. This- I'm on earth," he muttered to himself, brows furrowed.

Back before the TVA, he'd spent years plotting his takeover of the planet. The Asgardian libraries had contained books filled with knowledge about earth's nature and climate systems, something he'd used to his advantage when planning where he wanted to rule from.

While he didn't know a thing about earth customs or technology, Loki could easily tell the difference between a chimpanzee and a capuchin, or explain how hibiscus flowers were great in tea.

The real question was when is he?

Loki looked at his tempad.

Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. 2015.

It made sense. Loki remembered that the country was known for its lush landscapes.

There was no telling what universe he was in. He wondered if he could find someone to fill in in the 3 years since the battle of New York, if that had even happened in this timeline.

He took a look around. The foliage was bright green, and he spotted a toucan on a nearby branch. There was the occasional scream of a howler monkey echoing through the trees.

A few feet away, just past a few trees, was a dirt path. Signs that people had walked this trail many times.

Of course, a worry popped into the back of Loki's head that claimed a hungry jaguar had paced there as it looked for a meal, trampling the grass in search of prey.

His fears were quelled, however, when he heard faint voices nearing.

He stepped behind a wide tree and watched carefully as a man in a neon shirt led a family down the trail.

Loki spotted 5 kids, who all looked between the ages of 8 and 18. Interspersed among them were 4 adults who looked to be in their 40s or 50s.

At the back of the pack walked two older men. A shorter guy with snow white hair who looked to be in his 70s, and a taller one whose hair was very much salt-and-peppered, likely in his 60s.

The brightly-clothed guide was explaining to them all of the wonderful things Costa Rica had to offer, from its diverse flora and fauna to the beaches, mountains, and rainforests.

Loki was about to pop out from the wood and ask if this family could explain what the avengers were up to, or if they even existed at all here. He knew he would look ridiculous with his torn up TVA clothes but didn't care.

Finding Mobius was more important.

Before he could call out a greeting, he stopped dead in his tracks, blood running cold.

That voice.

He knew that voice anywhere.

The shorter old guy had cut in to make a joke to his family.

"I need to know where to get a jet ski around here."

Mobius.

That was him, but what was he doing here?

Loki felt weird seeing what it would have looked like for his Mobius to live on earth up to this point, assuming that the TVA variants of him had been plucked from the mid-1990s.

"Daaaad," one of the middle aged women groaned.

He has a daughter. Are those his grandchildren?

"You know we brought you on vacation to get you away from your jet ski, right dad?" another of the middle-agers said, a man who looked to be the youngest in his generation group.

A son as well?

"I'll have you know that the jet ski was the greatest invention of our time, of all history, even!" old-Mobius explained light-heartedly.

The taller man next to him placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I think we can manage a week without, my dear."

Loki gasped.

That was him speaking to old-Mobius. Well, not him, but an old version of him.

It didn't make sense.

Loki was well over 1000 years old. An Asgardian diety. A jotun.

He wouldn't just age like that. Not unless he sacrificed something to do so.

Loki couldn't help but notice, though, that while old-Loki's face was considerably wrinklier than his own, the man he looked at was void of worry lines around his eyes and forehead.

He looked genuinely happy.

Loki shifted as best he could to stay hidden behind the tree as he watched what played out ahead of him.

"Oh, alright, alright. I guess I can manage going without ole Lightning for the week if it means I've got y'all to entertain me. But just know that I'm taking everyone out on the lake as soon as we get back to Texas."

Old-Mobius, or whatever his midgardian name really was, smiled at his old-Loki, placing an hand over his lower back.

"I think that can be arranged," old-Loki agreed, quickly pressing a kiss to old-Mobius's temple as he wrapped an arm over the shorter man's shoulders.

Loki didn't even realize that there were tears sliding down his cheeks until the pang in his heart made him turn away from the happy family.

Because it wasn't just Mobius's family, it was his.

He didn't know how the two had found each other, how this Loki had somehow evaded godhood to live a domestic, midgardian life.

Loki couldn't stay here. He couldn't disturb and be caught by them.

He needed to find his Mobius, maybe figure out how to start a life like that.

It wouldn't be easy, jumping through the multiverse searching for that hard-headed, sarcastic, witty, crazy TVA analyst Loki had somehow fallen for, but he had to try.

So with the coast clear, he reset the tempad and stepped through another portal.

For his Mobius.

⏰

A/N: my heart is going to explode. Why did I feel the need to torture myself in this way? Anyways, I wrote it, so y'all gotta read it.

I don't make the rules.

Let me know what you thought! I love and hate this simultaneously so I'd love some feedback. Thanks for reading!!

Once again, sorry for those who follow me for Tom Holland stuff but I really wanted to write this!

If you would like to be added to any of my taglists, please message or send an ask so I can verify that you've been added!

Not tagging my permanent tag list since this isn't my normal content!

[olderthannetfic]

It's really surprising that you're so well versed in older fandoms and yet participate in new popular ones (that cdrama, kpop) is this by design? Im in my twenties and my interest turnover is already way slower than it used to be

You know, that’s a really interesting question. I wouldn’t say it’s by design exactly in that I do tend to just follow what strikes my fancy, and I can’t force myself to want to write fic for just anything. (I find it easier to like reading fic without serious involuntary emotional investment, but writing takes more. Vidding I can do on command most of the time, but I don’t usually bother unless I have a lot of feels or I’m fulfilling someone’s prompt.)

However, me getting into BTS was 100% due to me wanting to understand BTS enough to explain to people who weren’t very interested but wanted to know what was going on in fandom lately. Under normal circumstances, I run the dance party at Escapade, the oldest extant slash con. We borrowed vividcon’s thing of playing fanvids on the wall--all of them set to dance music--as the soundtrack for the dance party. This means I’m creating a 3-hour mixtape of fannishness, which has amazing potential to make people feel in the know about Fandom Today... and equal potential to make them feel alienated if nothing they care about shows up. Only about 100-150 people attend the con, so it really is possible to make a playlist that feels inclusive yet informative--it just takes a huge amount of work.

Every year, I do a lot of research on which fandoms are getting big and look for vids from vidders people won’t have heard of, so there is an element of consciously trying to keep up with things. Generally, I only get into these fandoms myself if I had no idea what they were and then suddenly, oops, they’re my kryptonite, like the buddy cop android plot in Detroit: Become Human, which sucked me in hard for like 6 months on the basis of a vid.

(So if you’re into cross-fandom meta and associated stuff as one of your fannish interests, you tend to have broader knowledge of different fandoms, old and new, than if you’re just looking for the next place you’ll read fic. It’s also easier to love vids for unfamiliar things than fic.)

But though I was only looking for a basic primer on BTS, BTS has 7 members with multiple names and no clear juggernaut pairing, not to mention that AU that runs through the music videos and lots of other context to explain. The barrier to understanding WTF was going on at all was high enough that to know enough to explain, I had to be thoroughly exposed... And once I was over that hurdle, oops, I had a fandom.

--

In terms of old vs. new, here’s the thing: kpop fandoms in English and c-drama fandoms in English right now feel a lot like anime fandom in English did in the early 00s. I had a Buddy Cops of the 70s phase in the middle, but my current fannishness is actually a return to my older fannishness in many ways.

What do I mean about them being similar?

Yes, I know some wanker will show up to say I think China, Korea, and Japan are indistinguishable, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the way that I used to routinely meet Italian and French and German fans, Argentinian and Mexican, Malaysian and Indonesian and Filipino too. English-language fandom of SPN or MCU may have all those fans from all those countries, but it feels very American most of the time. English-language fandom of a non-English-language canon is more overtly about using English as a lingua franca.

It also tends to attract people who as a sideline to their fannishness are getting into language learning and translation, which are my other passion in life after fanworks fandom. (I speak only English and Spanish and a bit of Japanese, but I’ve studied German, French, Russian, Mandarin, Old English, and now Korean.)

Nerds arguing about methods of language learning and which textbooks are good and why is my jam. This is all over the place in English-language fandoms of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean media. Those fandoms also tend to be full of speakers coming from a Germanic or Romance languages background who face similar hurdles in learning these languages. (In other words, if you’re a native Japanese speaker trying to learn Korean, the parts that will be hard for you are different than if you’re an English speaker, but you’re also usually not doing fandom in English.)

There’s also an element of scarcity and difficulty of access and a communal attempt to construct a canon (in the other sense) of stuff from that country that pertains to one’s fannishness. So, for example, a primer explaining the genre of xianxia is highly relevant to being a n00b Untamed fan, but just any old thing about China is not. A c-drama adapted from a danmei webnovel is perhaps part of the new pantheon of Chinese shit we’re all getting into, but just any old drama from decades ago is probably not... unless it’s a genre precursor to something else we care about. Another aspect here is that while Stuff I Can Access As A N00b Who Doesn’t Speak The Language may be relatively scarce, there’s a vast, vast wealth of stuff that exists.

This is what it felt like to be an anime fan in the US in 2000. As translation got more commercial and more crappy series were licensed and dumped onto an already glutted market, the vibe changed. No longer were fans desperately trying to learn enough of the language to translate or spending their time cataloguing what existed or making fanworks about a show they stuck with for a bit: the overall community focus turned to an endless race of consumption to keep up with all of the latest releases. That’s a perfectly valid way of being fannish, but if I wanted that, I’d binge US television 24/7.

Anime fandom got bigger, but what I liked about anime fandom in English died, and I moved on. (Okay, I first moved on to Onmyouji, which is a live action Japanese thing, but still.)

Hardcore weeaboos and now fans of Chinese and Korean stuff don’t stop at language: people get excited about cooking, my other other great passion. Times a thousand if the canon is something like The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, which is full of loving shots of food preparation. People get excited about history! Mandarin and Japanese may share almost nothing in terms of grammar or phonology, but all of East Asia has influence from specific Chinese power centers historically, and there are commonalities to historical architecture and clothing that I love.

I fell out of love with the popular anime art styles as they changed, and I’m not that into animation in general these days. (I still own a shitton of manga in art styles I like, like Okano Reiko’s Onmyouji series.) I’ve become a filmmaker over the last decade, and I’m very excited about beautiful cinematography and editing. With one thing and another, I’m probably not going to get back into anime fandom, but it’s lovely to revisit the cultural aspects I enjoyed about it via live-action media.

BTS surprised me too, to be honest. I really dislike that early 90s R&B ballad style that infests idol music (not just Korean--believe me, I resisted many rounds of “But Johnny’s Entertainment though!” back in the day). While I like some of the dance pop, I just don’t care. But OH NO, BTS turn out to be massive conscious hip hop fanboys, and their music sounds different. I have some tl;dr about my reactions in the meta I wrote about one of my fanvids, which you can find on Dreamwidth here.

--

But back to your comment about turnover: I know fans from the 70s who’ve had one great fannish love and that’s it and more who were like that but eventually moved on to a second or third. They’re... really fannishly monogamous in a way I find hard to comprehend. It was the norm long ago, but even by the 90s when far more people were getting into fandom, it was seen as a little weird. By now, with exponentially more people in fandom, it’s almost unheard of. I think those fans still exist, even as new people joining, but we don’t notice them. They were always rare, but in the past, only people like that had the stamina to get over the barriers to entry and actually become the people who made zines or were willing to be visibly into fanfic in eras when that was seen as really weird. On top of that, there’s an element of me, us, judging the past by what’s left: only people with an intense and often single passion are visible because other people either drifted away or have seamlessly disappeared into some modern fandom. They don’t say they’re 80 or 60 or 40 instead of 20, so nobody knows.

In general, I’m a small fandoms and rare ships person. My brain will do its best to thwart me by liking whatever has no fic even in a big fic fandom... (Except BTS because there is literally fic for any combination of them, like even more than for the likes of MCU. Wow. Best fandom evar!) So I have an incentive to not get complacent and just stick with one fandom because I would very soon have no ability to be in fandom at all.

My appetite for Consuming All The Things has slowed way down, but it also goes in waves, and a lot of what I’m consuming is what I did back in 2000: journal articles and the limited range of English-language books on the history of m/m sex and romance in East Asia. It’s not so much that I have a million fandoms as that I’m watching a few shows as an expression of my interest in East Asian costume dramas and East Asian history generally.

I do like to sit with one thing and experience it deeply rather than moving on quickly, but the surface expression of this has changed depending on whether I’m more into writing fic or more into doing research or something else.

But yes, I do do a certain amount of trying to stay current, often as a part of research for fandom meta or to help other people know what’s going on. Having a sense of what’s big doesn’t automatically mean getting into all those things, but I think some fans who are older-in-fandom and/or older-in-years stop being open to even hearing what’s new. And if you’ve never heard of it, you’ll never know if you might have liked it.

[antoine-roquentin]

NERVTAG gave no details about where in Kent the variant was first located, but the Covid-19 Genomics UK Consortium said that a key sample came from a patient living ‘near Canterbury’. A medical source, who wanted to stay anonymous, told me that the variant was first identified in Margate and came from someone with a weak immune system. Some in Kent jibbed at the prospect that the new virus would be known to history as ‘the Kent variant’, drawing a parallel with Trump’s ‘China virus’ or the ‘Spanish flu’ that didn’t even come from Spain (it first reached epidemic level in military training camps in the US).

It would be difficult to find a place where coronavirus was more likely to flourish and to enhance its mode of attack than Thanet and Swale. As in much of coastal Britain, few of the towns here are still working ports or seaside resorts. What industry there once was is largely gone, taking with it the few well-paying jobs. Of the fifteen most deprived neighbourhoods in Kent, seven are in Thanet and six in Swale. ‘We lost the mining industry and Ramsgate harbour, which was a big employer,’ the Labour councillor Barry Lewis says, lamenting the repeated blows to Margate over the past forty years. The hotel and tourism industries collapsed ‘when everybody started going abroad for their holidays’. The last big manufacturer in the area was the Pfizer plant near Sandwich, which closed in 2011 with the loss of 1500 jobs. The jobs that remain are often on zero-hours contracts. A map showing areas of maximum deprivation fitted neatly over one showing high rates of viral infection.

Everything about the average working life of someone in Swale or Sheppey puts them at risk. Much of this is to do with the need to go out to work. As Jackie Cassell, a public health specialist at the Brighton and Sussex Medical School who grew up on Sheppey, put it, ‘poverty is a mechanism for increasing social contact.’ People on the island are more likely than the population at large to use public transport to get to work, doing shifts of eight or more hours a day in warehouses or on construction sites. And people with little money are more likely to look after sick or ageing relatives. In a study of working patterns, Cassell found that on average someone who goes out to work has twelve prolonged or close periods of contact with people and seventeen brief or distant ones; those working from home have only two close or prolonged periods of contact and two brief or distant ones.

The effect this has in practice depends on the nature of the job and the employer. Riddell, the railway conductor and trade union official, says that the proportion of train passengers wearing face masks varies from line to line, but the stretch from Sittingbourne to Sheerness on the west side of Sheppey is particularly risky for rail staff because ‘between 50 and 60 per cent of people, mostly the young ones, don’t wear masks.’ As a conductor, he is allowed stay in the front cabin with the driver and doesn’t have to check passengers’ tickets. But Sue Saunders, who works as a cleaner on the trains, has to walk through the carriages spraying sanitiser and cleaning surfaces. ‘We have visors, masks and gloves,’ she says, ‘but we fear for our safety and several of my friends have caught Covid.’ The cleaners are often the only official-looking people on a train and, according to Saunders, are frequently stopped by passengers who want information. She says that sanitising could be done when the trains are standing empty between journeys, but the train companies want passengers to see that the cleaners are at work.

Compliance with restrictions on social interaction largely lapsed over the summer. Sharon Goodyer, who runs the Margate Food Club, says that her volunteers sometimes couldn’t safely distribute food in poor areas because they had to push past people sitting in doorways and mixing in the street. ‘I have a feeling,’ she says, ‘that if this new variant started in Margate, then we earned it.’ But she points out that even poor people need to get outdoors: ‘You can’t be too judgmental if you’re living in a nice house and don’t have mice dying under your chair.’ Barry Lewis mentions one street in Margate with two hundred overcrowded houses where residents rent tiny rooms at high prices. ‘It’s almost a prison, so to get out to the front of the house is your normal way of life and to be stuck in one overcrowded room is not possible.’

The arrival of the variant changed attitudes. Vanessa Crick, a mother of three in Herne Bay, a rundown town on the coast between Swale and Thanet, has two jobs, in the local library and in a supermarket. ‘Since last November,’ she says, ‘more people have started wearing masks because they are frightened for their granddad or their nan.’ Charlotte Cornell, who runs a charity distributing laptops for homeschooling to children in deprived areas, says that none of the families she deals with is cavalier about the virus: ‘They are all terrified of it.’

When public health experts were sent to Kent at the end of last year to investigate the reasons for the local epidemic, they suspected that the spread would be attributable to human actions at home or in the workplace. Everything they knew about the lives of people in Thanet and Swale would favour accelerated transmission of the virus. The physical environment was a factor too: decayed seaside resorts have many former hotels with sea views whose faded grandeur make them ideal for conversion into care homes. Last May, seventeen residents died from Covid-19 in one such care home in Margate, but mass deaths in care homes were a scandal all over Britain and hardly peculiar to Thanet.

A more likely reason for the rapid spread is that many people had good reasons for not getting Covid tests. People who test positive but need to go out to work and won’t get sick pay can’t afford to quarantine. ‘Young males in economically deprived areas do not want to get tested,’ Jackie Cassell says of Swale. She points to a study in Liverpool where only 4 per cent of people in one of the city’s poorest neighbourhoods volunteered for a test. Since the pandemic began, the government has been voluble about the restrictions it has imposed but evasive about how far people comply with them. A study by King’s College London showed that, while 70 per cent of people said they would self-isolate if necessary, only 18 per cent did so.

People not getting tested because they can’t afford to quarantine will keep a low profile. But other groups aren’t keen to catch the attention of anyone in authority. Graham Tegg, the director of the Kent Law Clinic, which provides free legal assistance, says there is ‘an underground system’ of migrant workers, many of whom have lived in Britain for a long time, who want to keep their distance from state institutions. Many of his clients are Czechs, Poles and Roma. Some pick fruit and vegetables or work in packing factories; collected by minivans in the morning, they work for ten hours and come back in the evening in the same van. ‘Three or four of them may be living in the same small room,’ Tegg says, providing perfect conditions for the virus to spread.

But most people in Thanet and Swale are ‘disconnected from authority’, according to Barry Lewis: the only time they see authority in action is when the police stop them doing something they want to do. Some of them are third-generation unemployed whose only prospect for making money is in the black market or the drugs trade – described by one resident as the only growth industry in Thanet. ‘What we have here is a whole community who have no investment in society at all,’ Sharon Goodyer says. ‘What do they owe anybody? They don’t. They don’t have a decent education, a decent home, a decent job. Why should they behave responsibly?’

[bethanysnow]

Red Empress.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nKqslNcYAE&t=1762s

(Inspired by above playlist)

“-And who are you?” 

    “OH HI YOU ARE REAL!?” The ‘hero’ yelled in shock. 

“Yes, I’m real. And what do you want? You interrupted me watching British Bake off…” 

    “..wait, you’re not gonna...shoot me? With like, a freeze ray, or cut my head off. Send dogs after me, none of that?” 

“...Do you want me to hero?” 

    “NO! I uh I mean no. Ma’am-” 

“Then what the fuck do you want…I am busy.” 

The hero looked up to a woman similar to what he had expected. She had black hair, wore gold jewelry, and glasses sat on her nose. But the person in front of him? The Terror of the 9 Hells, Dante’s Apprentice, The Red Empress? Wasn’t there. She had a grey cardigan on, yoga pants. She looked down at the little hero with disdain and an air of condescension. Like he was trying to sell her girl scout cookies and doing a bad job at it. The hero looked at his research. Scribbled into a composition notebook was the address of what he thought was the evil lair to the greatest supervillain of their era.

    “I am a future hero, or I want to be-” She raised a hand, cutting him off. 

“-So you came down to my apartment, which by the way is super creepy. How you got my address I do not know. Then decide to knock on my door. Knowing who I am, you still did so. Did you think this was a good idea?” Slightly amused look fixed onto her face. 

    “No, I don’t think it was a good idea. But I need to know.” He said with all the sincerity in his heart. “My grandma, she loves you. Has some of your newspaper clippings on her wall. She won’t shut up about you. Saying ‘there weren’t any more good heroes today’. Google just showed me all your recent stuff about how bad you are. You disappeared for like...10 years. Then came back a villain.”   

She looked him over. Grabbed his notes out of his hand despite his protests. Flipping through pages she takes a red pen from behind her ear and starts writing in his book. Once she hands it back, it's annotated. Edited. Like how a teacher reviews a paper from a student. Leaning on the doorway she looks into the hall. 

“Kay-” Standing back up on her feet she opens the door all the way pushing him in. “-You get until my episode of Bake off is done. C’mon kid.” Grabbing a fistful of his hoodie she leads him to her living room. 

The apartment looked over all of Manhattan. Marble floors, red plush furniture. Bookshelves dotted with ‘souvenirs’. Some he recognized as heroes' weapons and memorabilia. A stone head looked in fear out into the room. The head was of the previous ‘supervillain’ from the 50s. A silver glove with runes carved into the surface glowed as the hero passed. A gun from the ‘Manhattan Mad Hatter’. A drugged out ultra-rich chemist who made it his mission to destroy and flatten everything from here to Tokyo in the 00’s. 

“You want to talk, kid, or do you wanna look at the knick knacks?” 

    “Right!” He blurted, going to the couch next to her. A small brown dachshund curled into a ball on her lap. “Where did you go for ten years?” 

“Rehab, Therapy for a bit. Um, Austria. Russia for a while. Went to Tasmania. Seattle. Mainly Rehab though-” 

    “-For ten years?” 

She smirked. “You try being a hero for 30 some odd years and not have a drug problem. The 60s and 70s everyone was...disposed. In something. Or someone. There was always a cult to join, doctrine to follow, party to go to. Lots of those Heroes from the glory days died from cocaine, or other drugs. The cops shot the bodies so they could report that they died in the line of fire.” A dark and far away quality clouded her eyes. “-10 years for rehab after seeing your friends, coworkers, freaks of nature you got to call family die? Sounds reasonable to me. I spent the 80s in a fog. God knows what I really did.” 

    “Oh....” 

She scoffed. “Yea- oh! They don’t tell ya that in history class do they?” 

    “No, Ma’am…” 

“Thought as much.” 

    “You were a hero though! Post WWII there were comics, radio stations, songs, all praising you. Some I saw where you punched a Nazi and went for ice cream after. Don’t take this the wrong way please. I would like to get home today, but you look like you’re in your 30s. You should be 90 somethin” 

“That I did do- but ya. And who said I wasn’t 90 somethin? You ever hear that fuckin super solider bullshit? They made Rogers and Bucky do? Where did you think the research was tested? They had to go from somewhere and I dunno...I had the day off.” She shrugged. Her face flickered with rage when mentioning the previous heroes. “And look where it got them, Steve is dead, and Bucky is off with some fuckin retirement bullshit. At least I didn’t retire! I got a job to do, I got taxes to pay.” 

    “...you pay taxes????” The boy looked at her very confused. 

“I am a villain, not an asshole.” 

She started to pet her dog, them nuzzling into her hand. 

    “So you became a villain- came back in 2000. Crashed the Met Gala. Stole the artifacts on display. Crashed a car. Set fire to buildings- why?” 

“Ah- the age old question.-” She looked at him. Took a minute of silence with her. The air slowly left the room he felt. Under the steely gaze of the most deadly woman in the world. 

“I got tired. Of being owned, propped up, posed, told what to say. The Hero's Union, a committee of people ‘sworn to protect the sanctity of Heroes’ and what they represent and fight for’ never was actually there for us. Type casted us into America's sweetheart, Funny side character. Big strong hero to save the day. Every interview I ever did as a ‘hero’ was never my actual words. I would have been a fuckin amazing actress I’ll give ya that. Smile and tell the people watching not to panic. Not to worry. Us ‘Hero’s got it handled. We were let to suffer unbeknownst to the general public. ‘Lady Justice’? She was 5 months pregnant and the Union wouldn’t let her stop the missions. She ended up having a miscarriage due to stress and what they were putting her body through. It's not just her, it's everyone.” 

    “So why not just quit? If it was that bad, go on strike or something.” 

“That's easy for you civilians to say. You can strike when you work a normal 9 to 5. You can quit your job. You can move on. But as I said, little hero. I was out there for 30 somethin years. Punching Nazis, saving people. Being a Hero. When you are made basically immortal and are a freak of nature- there are things you learn you cannot do anymore. I can’t drive a car. I can’t work out without all the machines sparking out on me and breaking. No one wants to hire a freak now do they? There is no ‘pensioners plan’ for elderly heroes.” 

    “I guess not…You don’t seem all that Villainous to me though.” He says with a giant smile on his face. Ever the optimist. 

She rolled her eyes, focusing on her show. 

He looked closer at her face. Grey eyes with blue flecks. Slightly salt and peppering at the sides. She looked strong, obvious defined biceps and calves. Her neck and arms were covered in scars. A long scar ran from her forehead down her face leading in a curve to her jaw on one side. The red pen stuck behind her ear. Big 70s aviator glasses. Before he knew what was happening his hands were bound behind his back and his face was being pressed into the cold floor. She had not changed her position. 

“You keep staring at me kid things will go badly for you.” She spoke not looking away from the TV in front of her. “-I don’t look evil, sure. But I will ask you.” 

“What does ‘Evil’ look like? I was once a hero too.”