#but then my friend told me to make it all broken
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All Too Well ⥃ modern!Aemond Targaryen
Summary: a reunion with your ex boyfriend at his mom’s Christmas party shouldn’t end with limbs tangled under a christmas tree, should it?
Warnings: 18+ mdni! Mentions of toxic relationships, Aemond goes to therapy, smut, angst, p in v, oral (F receiving), breeding, secret relationships, alcohol, arguments, drunk sex!!! English is not my first language<3
Word count: 4.3k+
A/n: soooo this happened lol and ALSO THANK YOU TO THE ANON WHO GAVE ME THIS IDEA!!! I hope you enjoy this!! Comments & reblogs are more than appreciated💕💕
I don’t have a taglist so please follow and turn on notifications for @peachysunrizefics <3
Tension surprisingly is not high tonight despite the entire family being present. Perhaps the three glasses of mulled wine Aegon has thrust into your hand are doing the magic at keeping you sane — or perhaps you are too busy trying to escape the dark gaze of your ex-boyfriend.
It is… something to say the least; Alicent’s party is always extravagant, beautiful, and cozy. She outdoes herself each year by going above and beyond to prepare the eve with the most delicious meals and new drinks, terrifyingly expensive gifts, and last but not least, decorating the mansion with the most eye-catching milestones in every corner — probably Aegon’s doing — and a Christmas tree in every room.
You take a long sip from your glass, humming as the spices in the wine hit your tongue, Aegon’s sigh making you roll your eyes in annoyance.
“What?” You hiss, glaring at him as he shrugs and leans on the wall behind you, “It was your brilliant idea to join your family, not mine.”
“Yeah, but you’re sulking worse than me, and no one here has traumatized ya before,” he whispers, pouting as he takes a long swig from his glass, giving you a small yet quick smile.
You sneer at him, recalling every single pain a certain member of this family has put you through. All the tears and screams you shed for him on the bathroom floor, the days you called in sick because you had cried your energy out the night before, the hours you had to spend with Aegon with a fake smile plastered on your face because he could not know anything about your broken heart.
After all, it all happened due to the forced secrecy.
“Right,” you scoff, finishing your drink in one sip before looking at Aegon’s family conversing, only one person keeping himself invisible in the shadows, “That’s why you told me your… brother won’t be here.”
“That has nothing to do with trauma, dumbass,” Aegon says, walking to the long dining table in front of you to grab a bottle of wine and pour a generous amount in his glass, “It’s not like my brother has any interest in you, he is just a fucking sociopath, and a bit fucking weird but ‘s all.”
“Let’s not talk about him,” you exhale sharply, trying to ignore your friend’s point, yet again, the lack of knowledge on what has really happened between you and his younger brother. How could he when Aemond tried his hardest to keep you his secret, a forbidden captive to pour his deranged love into?
You loved him, and he did too! His love was everything you could ever imagine; it was pure, lovely, so warm and world consuming. But then something shifted in him, he wanted you in his corner of the world, tucked away from every eye.
It all started with subtle hints you tried to ignore; you were fine with being his forbidden romance, his lover in the shadows and you knew all too well why he wanted you kept in the dark. He was so in love, so smitten with the way you smelt, the way your lips curled in a smile, your messy hair on the hotel’s soft pillow.
Your eyes wander around the room, finding Aemond’s eye already on you, his gaze sending shivers down your spine. His eye still weakens your knees; his stare is enough to make your throat dry and your hands tremble. There is not much to do especially when you are used to being the subject of his unwavering attention — most of the time, you would blush and swoon over how he wouldn’t take his eye off you when you both lay on the bed together, but it equally unnerved you how he used to act in front of other people as if he could not care less about your existence, and when he did he was scaring off other men, not allowing them even to have a normal conversation with you.
You avert your eyes back to your glass before you move towards the dining table to grab something to eat and keep your mind from thinking about him and ultimately ruining your night. The spicy taste of Alicent’s cheese twist distracts you for a little, and you can find the strength to look back at Aegon and ignore the piercing gaze of his younger brother.
“This tastes good, your Mum is an amazing cook,” you say, taking another one to stuff your mouth with, and washing it down with a freshly poured wine from your glass.
“Yeah, as if she doesn’t have a whole ass kitchen staff ready downstairs,” he chuckles and steals a bite from your twist, making a gagging sound at the taste, “Holy fuck, how can you eat this crap? It feels like I’ve dumped an entire jalapeno down my throat. Aemond is the same, he can never go without adding kilos of pepper to his food.”
“Stop, Aegon,” you hiss at him, shaking your head as you pinch your friend’s side, “How many times have I told you not to mention him in front of me?”
“Many fucking times,” he groans and leans on his elbows on the table, “I don’t get why you are so defensive about him. He’s a good kid!”
“He forgot my birthday and took you and your family on a fucking trip, so yes, I don’t want to think about him,” you tell him, sighing loudly before leaning back on the wall behind you, “Besides, he always treats me like a piece of trash!”
“He does that to everyone! You’re not different, lemme tell you that,” You know Aegon wants to make you feel better, you know that, but when he utters those words, you can not help but think about how much that statement is true; Aemond treated you like another person who did not deserve him in public while he hated everyone who breathed the same air as you. It was confusing, it was heartbreaking.
You glance back at the spot where you last saw him, only to find him finishing another shot of whiskey, his lips pressed into a thin line as he looks down at his shoes with disdain written all over his face. He looks troubled, his mind is probably racing with a hundred thoughts; you know him too well, all those nights spent in his arms only to listen to his soft murmurs about his family that would always lead to him telling you how much he appreciates and adores you, but can’t let anyone see you being in a relationship with him.
Perhaps it was the duality between obsession and indifference that drove you apart.
With another sigh, you leave Aegon to let him go socialize with his family, smirking when he glares at you with a scowl on his face. But you need to get out of this place and hide somewhere because the more you spend in this huge hall, the more the walls get closer.
You do not spare him another glance before you walk out of the hall and upstairs, going to the closest bathroom to have a minute for yourself away from him, in hopes of pushing his thoughts out of your head. You can feel the intensity of his stare as he watches you leave, his eye not once leaving your silhouette as you try to hide yourself from him.
You slam the door shut as soon as you step inside the bathroom, chest heaving with each breath; seeing him was enough damage, but to feel him yearning from across the room is worse. You want nothing more than to vanish from this place and never be seen again, but you can’t, and it pains you deeply because you need to walk out of this door with your head held high and act all happy and comfortable while you are bothered by Aemond’s presence immensely.
You put your glass down on the edge of the bathroom sink before you turn on the water and splash some on your face, not caring if you have ruined your makeup or not. The coldness of the water eases your mind a bit, helping you gather your thoughts, but it is not enough, nor were the drinks you took earlier. When it comes to him, nothing is enough to take the edge off.
Looking at yourself in the mirror reminds you of how much you miss having his arms wrapped around you when you were getting ready to leave his apartment or the hotel room, at that moment nothing seemed so out of place, but it all came crashing down because of the two worlds he created and danced around them for too long.
Shaking your head slightly, you take a long and deep breath before grabbing your glass again and leaving the bathroom. You had no wish to go back downstairs, not anymore at least. With one last breath, you close the door before you and march towards another staircase leading to a sitting room you always loved to spend time in when Alicent would invite you over.
Without looking inside the room you open the door and walk inside, making sure to close it with little to no sound, but when you turn around and look up, you find Aemond there, standing in front of the large windows of the room with a glass of whiskey in his hands.
“I–I’m sorry, I’ll leave—”
“Hey-no, no!” he cuts you off quickly, his good eye wide in surprise and fear before he gestures for you to sit, “Don’t, I mean… you don’t have to leave.”
“I don’t wanna disturb you,” you huff nervously, your grip tightening around your glass as you look at him with an equally shocked expression, “I’m so sorry I just—”
“Stay,” he says, and you can see how he swallows his words nervously, his walls crumbling slightly the longer he keeps looking at you, “The room is big enough for at least twenty people so… we’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure—” “Just make yourself at home,” he replies, giving you a small smile before he turns his back to you to stare out of the window, watching the snowfall.
You know he is waiting for you to approach and sit on the loveseat in front of the fireplace but you go and stand in front of the other window on the opposite side of the fireplace from where he is standing, sipping on your drink to distract yourself from thinking about him, which is nearly impossible because you can smell his bitter and cold cologne from here.
You glance at him, finding him nursing on his whiskey; it has been too long since you have seen him so put together and… beautiful. He is wearing an all-black outfit, dress pants, and a black long-sleeve shirt which he has undone the first button. His hair is neatly brushed and he has pulled his locks in his signature halfway-up way that brings his face out more.
You drag your eyes to his hands, clattered in simple silver rings, watching his fingers tap the metal against the glass before you see him turn his body in your direction slightly. His eye meets yours for a second, and suddenly you are the girl who would jump with joy with one of his texts, the girl who would love feeling him breathing her scent in — it terrifies you, the power he holds over you.
“This was a bad idea—” you say, shaking your head but before you get the chance to walk away he grabs your wrist firmly, pulling you back a bit, “Aemond…”
“Don’t leave,” his voice breaks a little, his thumb caressing your pulse point as he looks at you the way he used to do when he would ask you to stay at his place, not wanting you to leave him for even one second.
“We can’t do this again, Aemond,” you say, tears burning your eyes when you look at his face, your heart clenching when you find him in the same situation; teary-eyed and trembling, “We shouldn’t because I can’t go back to the place I was months before—”
“We don’t have to, just listen to what I have to say, okay?” he lets go of your hand, putting his glass on the table in front of the loveseat, “I didn’t have the chance to say anything, you… you cut me off so out of the blue—” “Out of the blue?” you ask, voice dripping with shock and anger, “Out of the fucking blue, Aemond? Ignoring me when we were with your siblings, acting as if I didn’t exist when we were somewhere that we could run into someone you knew! And-and,” you chuckle in sadness, wiping that one tear that slips your eye, “You kept me your little secret while you would tell me that I’m your world, I’m gonna show you off to everyone, you sounded like you were obsessed with me but you couldn’t even hold my hand in front of your brother!”
“Because I couldn’t stomach the idea of you leaving me!” He shouts back, dropping his hands to his sides as he huffs out an angry breath, “I-I couldn’t imagine a world without you in it, and it terrified me so I thought it would be best to—”
“To what? To plan a fucking trip on my birthday and ignore my texts and calls for a whole week? Yeah? Or maybe you thought it best to act like I was a nobody to you when I tried to hold your hand in front of your friends. Which one is it, Aemond?” you step closer to him, craning your neck to look into his eye better, “So? How did it feel when your worlds merged and you lost me? Oh, wait, you didn’t lose anything because you couldn’t care less about me—”
“I care!” he raises his voice a little, fisting his hands to keep himself composed and not touch you the way he likes, “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. I-I went through the worst thing you can imagine after you left me—”
“Don’t put the blame on me when everything happened because of you and your obsession with keeping me “all to yourself” while you barely looked at me when others were present!”
“Stop! Stop, stop—” he finally reaches up and cups your face in his hands, pulling you in even closer as he leans down to look straight into your eyes, “You’re right, I fucked it up, I…I ruined everything because I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. That… That trip was spontaneous, and I never forgave myself for doing that to you. My head…it gets really messy sometimes and I feared I would ruin the only good thing that’s ever happened to me, and I did, I ruined it.”
“You can’t excuse your actions—”
“I’m not!” he brings your face closer to his until you are only one breath away, “I… I’m sorry, for what I did to you, and-and I am going to therapy… because I thought I might somehow redeem myself.”
“You can’t expect me to take you back, not after what you put me through,” you rest your hands on his, gently pulling them down, letting the tears fall freely on your cheeks.
It has been a long time since you held his hands in yours, and you can feel the itch in his skin as he tries to fight off the urge to wipe your tears. Maybe he has changed as he says, turned into a better man but you can not be sure, not after the hell you went through and managed to pull yourself together afterward.
“I’m not expecting you to take me back, but please know I deeply regret what I did, and I hope you give me another chance…”
You nod absentmindedly before dropping his hands and stepping away from him, walking towards the door as you try to muffle the sob that nearly escapes your throat, and with one last look at him, you open the door and leave the room.
Resting your back on the closed wooden door, you take a shaky breath, trying your best not to cry your eyes out in the hallway, but it is impossible; how can you not sob when you have been waiting to hear those words for so long? It does not matter if he is genuine or not, you just need to listen to him say he is sorry for what he did.
Now it feels like a weighted blanket has been lifted from you and you can breathe again.
Maybe he is sorry, maybe he is not, but there is something within you that makes your palms sweat. You bite your bottom lip, trying to shake the thoughts of him away, but the way he looked at you, how enamored he seemed… after all, many people close their eyes on logic when it comes to the person their heart is beating for.
It does not matter if you regret this the next day or not, you need to feel him, you need to know how it feels to be loved by him again; so with one last deep breath, you open the door and slam it shut before marching toward where Aemond is sitting — under the Christmas tree with a cigarette in his hand and an ashtray resting next to his hand.
“Wha–” you don’t let him finish, you kneel down in front of him and grab his face into your hands tightly, slamming your lips to his.
He moans, falling back on the ground with a soft thud as his free hand roams your back, feeling the soft silk fabric of your dress beneath his fingertips while he tries to find the ashtray with the other while never breaking the kiss.
“Mmm-are you sure?” he manages to ask between the kisses, finally putting out the cigarette. Now both of his hands come to rest on your waist, holding you close as he waits for you to answer.
“It doesn’t matter if it’ll be the last or the first of many, I just need to feel you,” you mumble against his lips before closing the gap again, letting the savory taste of your wine melt against his bitter whiskey and smoke.
The kiss is unlike anything you have shared before; it is passionate, late lovers reuniting, full of emotions that have been left unexplored yet so familiar and welcoming. It must be the alcohol in your system, but his hands on your body set your skin ablaze, and for the first time in a long time, you feel desperation in his movements.
He sits up quickly, his lips moving in sync with yours before he licks your bottom lip, asking for entrance and when you part your lips, he pushes his tongue in, tasting the wine from your mouth directly while his hands come up to rest on your back, one hand reaching to push the strap of your dress down, caressing the skin with such delicacy that it makes you melt beneath his touch.
He breaks the kiss, looking down at your face as both of you pant and cling to each other before he gently lifts you and switches your positions, lying you on the carpet next to the Christmas tree, humming in delight when you spread your legs to make room for him.
You reach up to pull him down again, lips sealing in another breathtaking kiss. He holds himself up by his elbows on either side of your head while he kisses you back, groaning when you wrap your legs around him and rock your hips up, rubbing your clothed core against his growing bulge.
He pulls back and trails his kisses down your jaw to the column of your throat, going lower with each kiss before he reaches your thighs. Aemond waits for you to give him the green light and when you nod he pushes your dress up to your hips, prepping your inner thighs with kisses and bites before he grabs the waistband of your underwear and pulls the fabric down dropping it to the side.
“Aemond…” you sigh when he wraps his fingers around your thighs and spreads them further, leaning in to lick a stripe from bottom to top, ignoring your shocked gasp as he starts feasting upon you — seems like you were not the only one who has been craving intimacy lately.
He flickers your clit with the tip of his tongue, his chin rubbing against your wet folds. He hums when he hears your little whines and sighs, spurring him on even more to go faster and drive you closer to your peak.
Your hand goes to his perfectly shaped hair, tangling your fingers in his soft luscious locks. He opens his mouth and sucks on your buzzing nerves, dizzying your brain and clouding your mind with each lewd sound he makes.
He loves the way you push his head down and rock your hips up; he deserves this, to be smothered with your scent and taste, and he would die a happy man if you kept squeezing your legs around his head.
With a newfound determination, he pushes his tongue inside you, thrusting the steady muscle in and out while he reaches to play with your clit with his thumb, drawing fast and firm circles as he brings you closer to the edge of the euphoria.
You moan his name loudly, throwing your head back as your lips fall apart and your body as well, shaking in his strong grip when you come on his face, gushing your juices out with a cry, mind going blank as you shut the world out and focus on the waves of ecstasy that rock your body.
Aemond wipes your release from his face with his sleeve, crawling on top of you with a soft look in his eye before he bends down and pecks your lips while he fiddles with his belt and pants, unzipping them and pushing them down to his thighs, sighing in relief as soon as his cock is free from the tightness of the fabric.
“You’re too far away,” you whine and reach for him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and nodding quickly when he gives you a few seconds to rethink this, “I want you, please…”
“Don’t beg, sweet girl,” he whispers, lining up his cockhead with your entrance, gently rubbing it up and down to gather some of your wetness before he starts pushing in slowly, “ I’ll give it to you, you don’t need to beg for anything, ever.”
You missed him; the closeness, the proximity, the way his cock always fills you so deliciously. Now with his cock inside you fully, he pulls you in for a kiss, moving inside you with shallow thrusts while his lips steal the breath from your lungs.
He picks up his pace, his hips snapping to yours repeatedly, his cock reaching deep inside you. You arch your back, nails digging into his shoulders through his shirt as you break the kiss suddenly and moan out loud. His hand goes down to your thigh, lifting it higher a bit so he can reach even deeper inside you, fucking you faster and rougher, pouring his regrets into each thrust and snap of his hips.
“Look at you,” he breathes, the hand that was holding your leg up comes to cup your cheek, forcing you to look into his eyes as he gazes down at you, “So beautiful, so so gorgeous, fuck—”
You gasp, thighs quivering on the side of his hips as he brings you closer to the edge, him not being far behind either. He looks down at you so… lovingly, as if he is trying to memorize every up and down and lines on your face, counting your lashes and carving the shape of your lips in his mind while his cock throbs inside you.
You both reach your orgasms together; it is warm and slow, a heat that comes from the deepest part of your core and spreads like wildfire inside you, the same applies to him. He shakes and groans your name in your ear, burying his face in your neck as he drops his weight on top of you, hips thrusting slowly as he comes inside you, filling you up with every ounce of his being.
Aemond raises a bit, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, looking down at you as if you hang the stars in his gloomy sky, and perhaps you do.
He finally pulls back, his soft cock slipping out of you with a wet sound and you watch him tuck himself back before he helps you up, handing you your underwear before he stands and holds his hand out for you.
Hesitantly, you take his hand and try to stand up on wobbly legs, but he is fast enough to steady you with his palm on your waist, tightening his grip on you when you bend down to pull your panties up, straightening your back before you look at him.
“I… Thank you.” is all you can say, giving him a small awkward smile before you step forward toward the door, but for the second time tonight, he grabs your wrist and threads his fingers through yours, leading you to the door himself, “What are you doing?”
“A second round never hurt anyone, right?” he asks hopefully, a small smile playing on his lips, “I can’t just let you go without giving you a proper orgasm on my bed.”
“Aemond, we can’t, what if someone sees us?” you ask, your heart beating so hard against your chest you can hear it in your ears, but Aemond doesn’t seem to care as he drags you toward the rooms upstairs, “Aemond!”
“Then let them see,” he shrugs and guides you on the stairs, and to your unfortunate luck Alicent and Aegon are coming downstairs, but Aemond pays them no mind as he leads you past them, ignoring Aegon’s shocked gasp and calls for his name.
Maybe he has changed, maybe.
#rue writes✍️#aemond targaryen#ewan mitchell#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond x reader#aemond one eye#aemond smut#aemond targaryen x you#aemond x you#ewan mitchell x reader#hotd fic#aemond fanfiction#hotd smut
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“Lie to me, cheat on me, I don’t care. Just do your job and all’s fair.”
— yandere! rent-a-boyfriend x apathetic! reader
tw/cw: no smut, but this account needs a revive so… reader is gender neutral but i hc them as a dommy mommy. more headcannony than a proper story.
You met him after he managed to con one of your friends at work. Posing as this suave, nice guy, who happened to lack the money to support himself. The one time your friend finally put trust in someone else, that was the time it was completely broken. Turned to ash and bones.
You remember the night your friend came to you, eyes red-rimmed and voice trembling as they recounted the whole ordeal. How he’d slipped into their life so seamlessly, with that charming smile and easy laugh, only to hollow them out from the inside. Every word he’d said was carefully crafted, every gesture perfectly calculated to lure them into a false sense of security. And when they finally realized the truth—when the money was gone and so was he—it wasn’t just their savings he’d taken. It was their ability to trust, to hope, to believe in people again.
And so you decided to take him for yourself.
You remember the look of relief, and then recognition before it settled into confusion with the slight hint of derision.
He was perfect.
“If you managed to fool them, then you’ll do a good job fooling my own parents.”
You needed him. He needed you. It was the perfect agreement. His confidence was alluring as it was powerful. The way he turned heads just by being in the room. And the sex? Simply amazing. I mean, if he managed to make your prude of a friend to buckle then it must’ve counted for something.
Sure, the look in their eyes when you brought him to work one day was horrific. But they’ll get over it you think.
After all, you’d made your choice, and you weren’t about to apologize for it. Maybe it was reckless, maybe even cruel, but there was something about him that kept you hooked. The way he carried himself, all charm and sharp edges, like he knew exactly how far he could push before breaking someone. It wasn’t love, not really, but it was magnetic, intoxicating. Besides, your friend would move on eventually—people always did— it was the natural course of things. You told yourself it wasn’t your responsibility to mend what he’d shattered, even if the shame clawed at you every time their gaze lingered, silent and accusing. You shrugged it off.
But then suddenly he began to act nice? You could feel the gradual loss of his impassivity. How he suddenly became interested in what you were doing, saying and most importantly disinterested in the money you gave him.
“Don’t you get it—? I - I can’t believe I’m even saying this myself - but I love you. I fell for you. And I don’t even know why—“
“Stop.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. A puff of moisture blows through the air as seasons passed and winter has arrived. Frustrated that the one thing you had over him was now seen as no longer valuable. But then realized . . . , “You know what? S’long as it makes the job easier for you.”
With the last smoke from your cigar, you press the tip of it to his nose. Ash, skin and snow collide.
You thought it was better for the both of you. He could have the so called love of his life, and you could spend a bit less trying to keep him tied to you as long as he was useful. However, what you needed from him wasn’t just love, it was strength, not this blubbering piece of mess that kept stuttering the moment you two were left alone.
He was turning weak. Pathetic. Something you didn’t need nor want in a partner.
Too bad he knew you too well. He knew that you were going to leave him behind. He knew that he only had moments to waste before all of this would be over.
So on Christmas Eve, he plans it all out. The meal, the lighting, the music.
He did what he always did best—he made those moments count. His words were sharp, like knives carefully aimed to slice through your resolve, each one designed to remind you why you’d stayed this long. He painted pictures of what you’d lose, of how lonely it would be without him, and how no one else could ever understand you the way he did. His smile was bittersweet, a mask for the desperation lurking underneath.
And it ends with a cheer,
all of this so that he could drug you.
And at last, with a kiss to your lips he mouthed, “Happy Holidays.”
[Author’s Note] Reader definitely comes from a Mafia family of sorts.
#HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE#inspired by mouthwashing n my monthly rewatch of parasite#apathy x apathy is now my fave genre#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere fic#yancore#yandere male x reader#yandere drabble#yandere oc#yandere story#yandere male#yandere fiction#yandere imagine#yandere headcannons#yandere hcs#yandere core#darling core#male yandere#yandere angst
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A Love For Christmas Part 7
Hello! Welcome to penultimate chapter! I've been loving the little guess on the elf, who will be revealed tonight in the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who liked, commented, and reblogged. You make my day brighter.
Sledding is fun is because it's dangerous. And the company holiday party arrives.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
~
The next thing I put the little elf in charge of was the sleds used for sledding. There isn’t much to do in the North Pole, so we always trying to have some fun. Ice skating and sledding are two such pleasures we get to enjoy year round.
I let out a jolly laugh to see that they were finally having fun. Just enjoying themselves and being free.
I should have known that wasn’t going to last.
They got up on the highest hill with the swiftest sled and with one mighty push, they were careening down the slope, getting faster and faster.
I thought for sure they would hit the bottom of the slope and jackknife right into the snow bank at the bottom.
But I was wrong.
What happened might well be considered worse.
They hit the bottom of the slope, but instead of slowly, like it was meant to, it kept going. The elf tried to steer. To get it to slow down.
But it was fruitless.
They saw what was coming and dived off the sled, rolling into the snow. They rose in time to watch the runaway sled crash through the remaining snowpeople, knocking them down like bowling pins or dominoes.
They looked up at me, eyes wide with shame and bewilderment. There was no reason it should have continued like that.
And I suspected sabotage and sure enough another elf’s name appeared on my naughty list that afternoon.
So I gathered up the elf and told them, I would find something special for them to do. Something I knew they could be good at if they tried.
Making friends.
~
When Steve told Eddie that he had never gone sledding because it was too dangerous, the arborist made his mission to get Steve on the slopes as soon as possible. But that meant it would be the morning of the office Christmas party, which Steve was absolutely fine with.
Hell, if it was as dangerous as his mother claimed, maybe he would be in the hospital with a broken leg and he wouldn’t even have to go.
He bought a nice two person sled as well a single seater and brought them to Eddie’s nursery as that was where he was meeting him.
Wayne came out first as he always did because he liked talking to Steve.
“Hey Steve,” he greeted warmly. “I hear you’re taking Eddie to that fancy ‘do of yours tonight. Aren’cha worried he might bring little bit more...bedlam then the occasion calls for?”
Steve threw back his head and laughed. “God, I hope so! I hope he brings all the chaos loving, long haired, metalhead energy he has in him. I want people to see how wonderfully wild and outrageous he is, because I that’s what I adore about him.”
Wayne blinked at him for a moment and then rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “And Eddie is aware of this...plan?”
“Yup!” Eddie said cheerfully, popping out from behind one of the Noble firs. “It���s part of the reason I agreed to go. Me and Stevie here are going to have a real good time.”
Wayne shook his head fondly. “All right, as long you both know what you’re in for, I’m not going to stop ya.”
“We’re taking my van,” Eddie said, turning to Steve, “if that’s okay.”
“Yup!” Steve replied licking his lips and pursing them to hide the bright smile on his face. “I’ll just grab my sleds and I’ll meet you at the van.”
“Great!” Eddie said full dimples on display and Steve couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that sunk into his soul that it was aimed at him.
He hurried to his car and got the two sleds out of his car and trotted over to Eddie’s van.
Eddie tilted his head to the side. “Wha’cha got two for?”
“I’m too chicken to go myself the first couple of times,” he said holding up the two-seater. “So I’m hoping you’ll go with me in this. And then...” he held up the single person sled, “once I’m brave enough to go on my own, that’s what this is for!”
Eddie cocked his head to the other side, admiring him. “That’s some good thinking. Of course I’ll come with you the first couple of times until you get your sled legs.”
Steve laughed, putting the sleds in the back of Eddie’s van. “What the fuck is sled legs?”
They both got in the van.
“It’s like sea legs only with sledding.”
Steve shook his head. “Of course it is. What was I thinking?”
“You weren’t,” Eddie said, starting the engine. “But that’s because you’re in the presence of the wonderful me! It’s such a trial to be this pretty!”
He leaned into Steve’s space and fluttered his eyelashes at him. So Steve did the only thing he could think of.
He kissed the tip of Eddie’s nose. “You’re cute.”
Eddie blushed and sputtered. “You’re going to ruin my reputation is what you’re going to be doing here, Stevie.”
Steve just laughed.
They got to the park where they were doing the sledding and the hills were covered in people of all ages screaming and laughing and just have a blast.
“This always looked so fun to me growing up,” Steve said wistfully. “But my mom would never allow me to go. Not even when my best friends tried to sic their moms at her. It was just too much for her precious boy.”
“Well, you’re in for a treat!” Eddie said gleefully throwing himself out of the van. Steve scrambled to catch up.
They grabbed their sleds and raced to the hill.
Will spotted them first and started waving vigorously. Steve and Eddie grinned, then made their way to them.
“Hey!” Mike said with a returning grin. “You guys made it. We’ve been here for hours!”
And they certainly looked it. Their cheeks and noses were red and their pants were soaked to their skin, but they looked like they could go all day without breaking their stride.
“Some of us work for a living,” Eddie groused. “Teenagers!”
“Nancy and Robin both work and they’ve been here all morning,” Dustin huffed, pointing over to the two girls.
There standing on the top of the hill in snow suits. Robin, Steve clocked immediately. She was in a mix-matched suit that was navy blue on the bottom but an ugly brown up top. The other girl was all in pink with bright blue mittens, cap, and scarf. Her curly hair stuck from her under her cap and her cheeks were rosy.
Honestly, if Steve hadn’t known any better, he would have pegged Eddie as her brother, not Mike.
“That was nice of their bosses to let them take the day off,” Steve said with a smirk. “Eddie’s is running the nursery with just him and Wayne, and my boss is a bag of dicks. So...maybe don’t compare what you don’t know.”
Everyone turned and looked at Steve wide-eyed like they had just witnessed a murder. Which, Steve thought with a huff, they probably had.
Then everyone oohhing and whistling and calling Mike out. He just rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever.”
That was when Steve knew he had truly won.
Eddie set down his sled and then took the two seater from Steve. “You ready for this, big boy?”
“I guess, I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” Steve said with a smile.
Eddie set up the sled at the top of the hill and said, “All right, you get on first and steer and I’ll push, okay?”
Steve nodded and did as he was told. Then suddenly they were off, sliding down the hill at breakneck speed. Steve did his best to avoid hitting the major bumps and too soon they were at the bottom of the hill.
“That was fun!” Steve said, turning around to face Eddie. “Let’s do that again!”
And so they did. Steve spent most of the afternoon on the two seater or drinking hot chocolate with Robin, trying to warm up to go back at it. She was there to supervise.
“I’m here to make sure no one gets hurt,” she said dryly. “I’m just too uncoordinated to do it.”
“So come with me on the two-seater,” Steve said. “I’ll push and you steer.”
Robin chewed her lip and then nodded. Steve grabbed it from where it was sitting next to him and hauled it over to the top of the hill. Once they were all sorted, Steve pushed them off with a shriek of laughter and they were tearing off down the hill.
They slowed at the bottom and she looked back at Steve with a wide grin. “Let’s do that again!”
Steve laughed as she echoed his previous statement.
Then it was time for Steve to try his solo trip down the hill. Robin agreed to push him gently down the hill and Eddie offered to spot him at the bottom to help ease his fears.
Steve got settled on the sled but before Robin could even push him, the sled wobbled and started off down the hill on its own. Steve yelped as he struggled to steer the sled. But it was no good, he was heading right for a bump.
“Look out!” he cried as he hit the bump going top speed.
Everyone at the bottom of the hill scrambled to get out of the way. Steve caught air and landed hard at the bottom of the hill, tumbling out of the sled and rolling to the side.
Eddie was standing over him when he finally dared to open his eyes. “Hey, you okay?”
Steve took a moment to take stock. “Sadly, yes. But I think that means I’m done for the day.”
Eddie burst out laughing and helped him to his feet. They said their goodbyes to everyone and made their way to Eddie’s van.
“Thanks so much for today,” Steve said as he climbed in. “It’s been really nice hanging out with you guys all month.”
Eddie smiled fondly. “Of course, Stevie. I just hope you find Christmas just a little bit better.”
“Yeah.”
~
Eddie was dressed up as nicely as he could be, black button up shirt, nice black slacks, but he paired them with combat boots, a leather jacket and as many chains as he could get his hands on. Steve was dressed in a simple dark grey suit with a white shirt and red tie. Eddie thought he looked dashing.
They walked in through doors of Steve’s office building and while Eddie had been there before with the trees he hadn’t seen it decked out. Joyce’s ornaments were beautifully placed and Claudia’s cooking was being doled out by servers in black vests.
“Wow,” he murmured. “You sure do know how to plan a party. Damn, man. You did good for someone who out-nerved Robin that day when you came to the nursery.”
Steve blushed. “Thanks, Eds.”
Eddie’s head whipped over at the nickname and he just lit up brighter than the Christmas tree.
Then a loud, boisterous man came storming up to them. “Steven, what is the meaning of this? You were supposed to bring a date, not the help!”
Steve blinked at him a moment and then cocked his head to the side. “But you didn’t say that though. You said I was expected to bring someone, not a date. So I picked Eddie. He’s been a real asset to helping plan this party, I couldn’t have done it without him.”
Mr. Harrington stuttered and stammered before leaving the way he came, in a huff.
“So...that was you’re dad I’m assuming,” Eddie said with a grimace. “Because hooboy, I can see why you don’t talk about him much.”
“Yep,” Steve said dryly, rocking back on his heels. “Clint Harrington, asshole extraordinaire.”
“Hey, I’m going to get something to drink,” Eddie said trying to change the subject. “You want anything?”
“Just water.”
Eddie frowned at that but went and got him an apple cider, some food and goodies, and brought Steve over some water.
“There you go,” he said brightly.
“Thanks,” he said taking a sip of the water.
He held up his plate. “You want any of this?”
Steve shook his head. “I’ll eat later.”
Eddie dug into his food and they chatted. Everyone gave them both a wide berth and Steve loved every moment of it.
“Thanks for this,” Steve said brightly after the third person skirted around them. “I’ve never had such a peaceful party before.”
Eddie chuckled. “You’re welcome. I’m going to get more of the gingerbread snaps, you want anything.”
Again Steve shook his head.
“I don’t know why you won’t take any of the spoils of your labor,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “You deserve to eat this too.”
Steve looked up at him with a slight smile. “I’m allergic to orange. I literally can’t have any of it because it’s likely been touched by orange in someway, and I’d rather not spend Christmas in the ICU.”
Eddie eyes went wide. “Come again?”
Steve shrugged. “My parents do this every year. I’ve been allergic since I was seven, but they always had Christmas with everything covered in orange and complained when I refused to eat any of it.”
“Dude,” Eddie hissed. “That’s like child abuse.”
“Yeah.”
Eddie looked around and saw that everyone else was having fun while Steve was forced to put on a smile and not enjoy any of it.
“Do you want to get out of here and grab a burger?”
Steve laughed. “Yeah, sure. I just need to do something really quick. I’ll meet you by the car.”
Eddie nodded and went downstairs.
Steve slipped into his office and sent off an email with a grin on his face. As he was leaving his father stopped him.
“I’m don’t know what you are trying to pull with this,” he hissed. “But your mother doesn’t want to see you until after New Year’s, she that upset!”
Steve shook him off. “Maybe I’ll get to eat something for Christmas for a change.”
He stormed off, racing down the stairs and out into the crisp winter air. Eddie was by Steve’s car and he just held his arms open.
Steve dashed right into them and buried his head into Eddie’s neck. “I just quit.”
Eddie’s jaw dropped. “You did what now?”
“I sent in my two weeks notice, dated today,” Steve said with a grin. “They won’t see until the 5th of next month when they all come back, but by then the two weeks will be up and they’ll have to give my severance as well as all my PTO that I’ve accrued.”
“And just how much will that be?” Eddie asked looking down at this man of his dreams.
“At least sixty thousand dollars,” Steve replied, his grin growing wider. “Enough to get me through school to get my teaching degree so I can teach middle school.”
Eddie burst out laughing. “You are a menace, Steve Harrington.”
“Yeah.”
“Come over to our place on Christmas,” Eddie said, “enjoy the holiday for a change.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
~
Part 8
Tag List: COMPLETED
1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006
5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
9- @steddieislife @tartarusknight @themoonagainstmers
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#hallmark christmas au#businessman steve harrington#christmas tree farmer eddie munson
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TIT AUCKLAND FINAL RECAP
the spoilery stuff is at the bottom of the post, the rest is safe
Since June there has been a discord server going for everyone at the Auckland show. It was amazing to make so many friends before even going to the show. We all got to know each other in the months leading up to the event. Super cool!
We all met up for lunch before the show to hang out and exchanged our crafts. (craft haul x) It made me so happy to see people excited to meet Carlos and my dolls :).
@peter-must-die with his amazing shirt holding Carlos
We made our way to the KTK theater, and I bought some merch. Literally shouted when I opened my photocards to see BLONDE QUIFF PHIL!!!!!! :O
I came PREPARED for my meet and greet, had an agenda broken down into 3 steps. I had been overthinking this for months and have lost so much sleep from tit anxiety. The plan was very helpful! I was revising it in the line.
My hands were totally full. Sister Daniel kept on escaping my grip, we think she was trying to run away. I also recall repeatedly doing my Christophe Giacometti (from yuri on ice) impression in the line.
In the meet and greet line I discovered that I randomly have a lot of upper body strength 😅. I was giving out VERYYY tight deep pressure hugs to people who wanted them. It was very calming. I also got a stopwatch out and we did some 4/4/8 breathing. Then our time was almost up, and WE COULD SEE DAN.
I filmed Max's meet and greet for them first. So that was good getting to spend a minute or so in front of Dan and Phil before it was my turn. I had briefed Max on my agenda, so they knew exactly what to do. My full meet and greet post with photos and the video are here (x). THANK YOU SO MUCH @shitwheresfoxy FOR BEING THE BEST GLAMOUROUS ASSISTANT EVER!
Phil did not seem like a human. I stupidly told him he was like an animatronic robot. He is just SO BEAUTIFUL IT DOESNT SEEM REAL. You need to understand, PHIL LESTER IS SO ETHERALLY GORGEOUS IT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!! He's just so 🥰. No wonder Dan can't stop looking at him like that in the videos. I get it now.
Dan definitely led my m&g, and I've heard others say this too. He does most of the talking, offers to take the photos, and he had the biggest reactions to things. I made him cackle a few times and I will wear that like a badge of honour. Some other highlights include:
Dan's first reaction to Carlos "uhh.. what?"
Dan's crab hands in our selfie
Dan talking to my camera whilst I fetched something from Max
Their first reaction to my dolls
Phil waving and saying bye to me
BONUS 1 MINUTE AND 39 MINUTE VIDEO OF PHIL HOLDING CARLOS, THIS MEANS THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO ME
I am slightly embarrassed about how excited I got, I went a bit nuts. Told them Carlos was "the love of my life" 🤦. Was completely hyper after the m&g, had major zoomies and couldn't calm down. That's when we caught up with the silver VIP people from the server.
@totally-srs-all-the-time made this STUNNING bedsheet cape and wanted to put it on me to have mega bed sheet titfit. Only when she held it up to me, I thought she was wanting to use it as a weighted blanket to calm me. So I lay on the floor 😂, she still put it on me and got this pic.
Met the phiwi backpack too!!!
I recorded our preshow and put it on youtube (x). Can't believe Olly's figure skating question was answered! That was wickedly cool. There is a very small group of us who got SUPER into ice skating these past couple of months. So to have our niche acknowledged by Dan himself was PHENOMENAL.
We all danced to HOTOGO, @einsteinfrizz 's amazing video from the balcony can be found here (x)
And then it was time for the show.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!
I took notes during intermission and after the show of what I remembered.
Our conspiracies were:
Toilet, Clothes, Bus, and Vegas
"They share clothes." Went on about how their nipples touch the same cloth and did weird nipply gestures.
Lawyer Dan banned Australia, wrote erotic fanfiction about Gollum, and went to jail for killing phil. (Phil then said "hopefully he was not a CEO" and everyone CHEERED SO LOUDLY FOR AGES. They were both caught off guard by the big audience reaction, and it seemed like Dan was genuinely surprised/shocked that Phil said that.
Linguist Phil's favourite word was 'perky nana', he liked to help old ladies cum, and had a secret collection of lesbians.
Phil's 1 minute improv was on stationary. He thought the person said penis, but he changed it to pens, and then decided to change it to stationary. He told a story of how he had a cola scented gel pen and would fill in an entire page and just sniff it.
Early on in the show Phil thought he swallowed a fly and started choking. He then yelled for a "minion" to fetch him water. Dan was taken back by this and it was about a minute before a crew member walked on with his water bottle.
(I'm sensing this show is a lot of Phil saying off-script random shit and dan being shocked by him. Which honestly checks out.)
"Jesus but more shippable" IM SORRY WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY DAN
Phil said reject modernity embrace tradition correctly.
They still think the phanniversary was "last month."
Everyone yelling "gay" together in unison was so healing.
Phil messed up the song lyric again and said "I got the tattoo" instead of "you"
SISTER DANIEL HOLY FUCK WHERE DO I BEGIN. I was in the 4th row on the left side which is where she stood. I knew all the spoilers going into it BUT NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME. I screamed at the top of my lungs when I first saw her come out. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF GETTING TO SEE HER IN PERSON I WILL NEVER TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED. She is so AAAH. Religious, eye-opening experiences were certainly had. AND SHE WAS IN DOC MARTENS. I'm never gonna be able to put into words how feral she made me.
I would say that I was very familiar with the show content before I got there. But in reality, everything was 100x weirder than I thought it would be. I mean that in the best way possible!!! Dnp were OFF. THE. RAILS. They were still the same people you see in the videos, but uncut and UNLEASHED.
AND THEN THERE WAS THE FACT THAT I WENT HOME WITH AN ACTUAL PROP?!?!?!
At the end of the show, I rushed to the front of the stage to steal the confetti. (I'm a hoe for collecting show confetti, I did the same thing at WAD).
Whilst I was collecting confetti and taking pics of Carlos, one of the stagehands came out a few times, handing out the Australian props to random people standing at the stage.
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!! Here are some close-up photos I took of Obi Wan, and a video of what he can do (x). I walked into TIT with a Sister Daniel and Father Philip doll, and I came out of TIT with Phobi Phan Phenobi.
I also got one of the role model or no-le model cards, it is blank on the other side apart from their signature.
I also got to get up and close with other people's props. I even got to play Max's ukulele. I played the TIT song and I can tell you first hand that that thing was VERY out of tune. I know Dan was only fake playing it, but at least tune it first 😂.
The day after, a big group of us went to Auckland Zoo! Man that was a lot of fun. We signed TABINOFs, and I got a bunchhhh of pics of Phobi Wan, my photo dump is here (x). @spanielt0wel also got a doll, so I made sure to get some photos with them together.
The post-tit depression is REALLLLLL. I miss being surrounded by like minded people. It was so easy to unmask and just be completely myself. I have never felt more like me than when I was surrounded by all the queer, neurodivergent phannies. This was the happiest I've felt in years. So thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who came to talk to me, and to all the friends I've made through the discord 💙.
Now I am back home and terrible influencing up my room cause I never want to forget this amazing experience.
The box frame was inspired by this one
The posters I got signed are looking GOOOOOD. Also Phobi Wan looks so silly sitting with my monster high dolls. I'm gonna treasure him forever. HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also thank you to everyone who voted on my poll you've convinced me that #4 is the way to go and I shall be ordering that flag soon.
THANK YOU TIT AUCKLAND
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@things-arent-what-they-seem66
Cain: (snorts) Like I’m supposed to believe the daughter of the first liar.
Charlie: That is it! I am so sick and tired of always being compared to my mom by others! Especially you! You don’t know a damn thing about me.
Cain: Not like your mother? Not like your MOTHER!? YOUR EXACTLY LIKE HER! Mixed in with father’s naive understanding of forgiveness and relationships! That just by clapping your hands, singing a few songs, and saying sorry automatically you can get away with murder! And by that I mean actual murder! You killed my mom!
Charlie: He came back!
Cain: Yeah but not before you killed half of the exorcists and pissed off Heaven just because you were upset!
Charlie: They were killing my people and going to destroy my hotel!
Cain: I can’t believe I’m saying this but you should’ve gone to Dad and told him about it! Or if not him some authority figure in Hell! Of my mother told you beforehand about it, then you should’ve just moved base! You and all your friends wouldn’t have blood on your hands if you had just stayed in your place!
Charlie: …My place?
Cain: Exactly your place. Staying on the sidelines and not involving yourself in the internal affairs of the sinners.
Charlie: They. Were. Killing. My. PEOPLE!!! I think if you were part of the majority who had to worry about it then you’d understand.
Cain: Mmm, no I wouldn’t because if I die then I die. And by the way even if there was salvation for sinners they wouldn’t take it. Because they are all selfish, self centered, self righteous, idiots who constantly had their chances to be better in life but they blew it! Charlie: Do you even hear yourself right now!
Cain leaned down in Charlie’s face as he growled out his words.
Cain: More often than not. But we are getting off track here. The point is that you are a perfect mix of your parents, but more so your mother. When you didn’t get your way like the spoiled brat you are, you went out and caused trouble. Then by batting your eyes and acting cute to anybody, mainly your daddy, you think you can get out of a situation Scott free. Just. Like. Lilith.
Cain felt a sharp sting as his face turned to the side. He couldn’t believe what just happened. Neither could Charlie. However, she still stood firm albeit shakily.
Charlie: I’m sorry Cain but you were asking for it.
Slowly Cain reeled his head back to look at her and Charlie felt a chill run down her spine as her eyes glowed red.
Cain: …That is it, I’m going to knock you into NEXT SINSMAS!!!
Charlie didn’t know how, it happened so fast, but the next thing she knew was that she was outside lying on the ground as Cain got on top of her. Thinking quickly she used her fireworks to blind side him as she tried making her getaway. However, Cain recovered quickly and simply grabbed her long legs. Using his legs he wrapped them around her. Making sure she wouldn’t get away this time.
After that the two started exchanging punches as they rolled around on the rough dirt. For a few minutes that’s all they were doing. Until Cain said,
Cain: Don’t forget you ain’t in ya castle anymore princess! You’re in my house now!
Was all he said as he delivered a powerful punch to her eye right as Charlie delivered an equally painful one to his nose. They both screamed as they rushed to let go of the other. Charlie grabbed onto her eye as it was painfully shut closed and started to throb. Cain held his broken nose as it kept gushing out red, near black blood. The only thing that could be heard now was their heavy breathing.
For a few minutes that’s all they did was catch their breath. Until unable to bear the pain anymore collapsed onto the ground. Their breathing slowed, not to an alarming degree but still. They both took to staring at the orange, reddish sky. Not saying a single word to each other until Charlie broke the silence.
Charlie: Why do you hate me Cain? I know it’s not because of my mom or dad.
The eldest Morningstar child took his time for his answer.
Cain: …I don’t hate you Charlie. I think I just wish sometimes for you to have never been born.
The First Anti-Christ
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
(excuse me for the long prologue)
Anti Christ, the child of the fallen one, the devil. Everyone knows of the name and what it means. However, they don’t know of WHO that child is do they? Everyone thinks that the child will make themselves known as they bring on the end of humanity. What people don’t realize is that the anti-Christ has already walked upon the Earth.
In fact he was the first to be born on the planet. You see he was one of the very first humans. The very first child and son of the mother of humanity, Adam the first omega. His name was Cain.
Now many must be wondering on how this came to be. Why did it happen. How and why did the first omega manage to give birth to the fallen one’s offspring. All will be explained here, in this story.
A long, long, long, time ago when the Earth was still young the creator of it had decided on what its final inhabitants would be. They were called humans, the very first of their kind. He made them into something special. With their names came their designations.
Lilith the first woman and alpha
Adam the first man and omega
He made the two to be companions, to watch over another as one would for a friend or as he hoped like siblings. However, his other creations had other plans. While the Lord was busy attending to his purpose of watching over the universe. The other creations, the angels went down to the humans and they told the two that they were more than just companions. They told them that they were mates and they would bring forth true humanity.
Both were confused and asked how? The angels told them that once a month Adam’s womb would welcome Lilith’s seed and instructed him for when the time came for Adam to lay on his back and to spread his legs for his mate. When they heard of this both were rather disgusted by it. They hadn’t known each other for long but they simply weren’t compatible in that way. They couldn’t even bother to be friends for they both had too many differences that often clashed with each other.
While Adam was energetic and outgoing, Lilith was reserved and careful. It would often cause arguments from the two, especially when it came to their duties. Their first duties, of naming and caring for everything in the garden. Lilith thought Adam to be immature. Adam thought Lilith to be demanding. Both seemed to think that nothing was ever good enough for each person. One thing they both could agree on is that they did not wish to be mates.
Still Adam did not wish to upset the angels and simply bowed his head and nodded submissively. They began to explain other sets of rules that both were to follow. Lilith as the alpha was to always provide and care for her omega. Adam as the omega was to always follow her way and submit to his alpha. Both were to bring children into this world.
Lilith would become the father of humanity. While Adam would become the mother of humanity.
Lilith, disgusted at the thought, disagreed wholeheartedly. She fled from the garden and away from the omega. Hoping to never set another foot in there again. She was found by someone, an angel of the Lord himself, whom she would soon call a friend and sometime after that a husband. Though she didn’t trust him at first she eventually told the angel of why she ran from paradise.
The angel was shocked and confused. Why would his siblings do that? Why would they mess with his Father’s creations that way? He wanted so badly to go up there and tell his Father of what they had done to Lilith. He knew that they would somehow find a way to pin the blame onto him.
That is why he came up with a new plan. To meet and talk to Lilith’s supposed mate. What he didn’t know at the time was that the omega was actually his true mate.
He crept into the garden, careful not to aware the elders of his presence. What awaited him in the garden was not what he expected. A true beauty, one that took his breath away. Though he had thought Lilith to be pretty. She was nothing compared to Adam.
His soft brown hair, honeyed eyes that sparkled, and tan skin that was splattered by freckles. His Lucious curves was enough to drive him insane. The angel managed to open his mouth and introduced himself. His name was Lucifer, the angel of light and God’s most favored son.
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I was thinking about a little fic set when Spyke dies ☹️ so tw pet death. ft the comforting presence of Gianpiero Lambiase
Max isn’t there when Spyke dies. He doesn't actually know that Spyke is sick. His Dad calls him one morning, on New Years Eve, and tells him they have had to have Spyke put down. Jos tells him that Spyke-, his legs had-, that he was was not going to make it.
So Max doesn't get a chance to say goodbye. One minute he’s oblivious, thinking his best pal is probably snuggled up with his little sister, and the next minute his best boy of 11 years is gone.
He blinks.
He blinks.
He can't cry on the phone to Jos. That's not what they do. His Dad will tut at him, tell him Spyke was just a dog. But Spyke wasn't just a dog. He was-
Max’s best friend.
So, he hangs up the phone and lets himself cry.
He looks through pictures of Spyke. Some from a recent trip home, some from when he still lived at home, and others of Spyke as a messy little puppy. Moustache overgrown and ears too big for his body.
Without thinking too much about it, he sends one of the puppy pictures to GP. Along with a broken heart emoji. Because he doesn't have the words, but he needs someone to know that he's- his world isn’t the same anymore.
The message gets marked as read, but instead of the three dots to indicate that GP is replying, Max’s phone starts vibrating in his hand. A call.
Before GP even asks, Max is sobbing down the phone. Hard. Trying to tell GP that he didn’t get to say goodbye. But between the bad connection and the tears, he’s not sure if GP even understands what he’s saying.
“I’m sorry Max, I’m so sorry, I know how much he meant to you.”
“It’s ok to cry.”
And it is ok to cry in front of GP. Because GP has never once told him to grow up, to care less. Never rolled his eyes at Max for being emotional. Always stood with him, listened, and been a comforting presence. And this is no different.
It’s the winter break, so they’re not scheduled to see each other until at least early March.
But it’s 31st December, fucking New Years Eve, and Max is supposed to be going out with his friends tonight. But no. He can’t. Not tonight. Not anymore.
And GP seems to sense that Max might end up spending midnight by himself, alone in Monaco, after losing his best friend. So he says “Hey, Maxy, why don't you come over here? We’re going to play some board games, watch the fireworks, and have a family night. You're family. Join us.”
So Max flys to Milton Keynes, and instead of going to the factory, he gets a cab to GP’s family townhouse.
When GP opens the door he cries a little into GP’s shoulder before wiping his eyes and greeting the rest of the family. They know him well. He’s been coming here since he was freshly eighteen.
And when they sit down that evening GP’s collie, Ella, jumps into Max’s lap. She noses at his hand until he runs his fingers through her fur, and then encourages him to press his head against hers.
“She knows, Max,” GP tells him. “She’s good like that.”
“He was a good boy, Ella,” Max tells her, quietly.
She looks up at him with big brown eyes, before softly bumping her nose against his cheek. I know.
“Thanks for having me, GP,” Max says, “I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t come here.”
“You’re always welcome here, Max.” GP says.
“You’re family!” GP’s little girl yells, it’s past her bedtime and she’s so excited to be staying up with the adults.
“Can I get you a gin and tonic, Max?” GPs wife, Marie, adds. “You’re not driving after all!”
Spyke might not be here. But he feels at home.
maxverstappen1: My little friend is no more… rest in peace Spyke ❤️ 11 years I won’t forget… 😞❤️
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Oh No! My Intervention! It's Broken!
Summary: King Arthur had tried to ignore Merlin’s not so slowly increasing visits to the tavern. But after Merlin's three day disappearance and reappearance he just can't ignore it anymore. Merlin’s drinking has gotten out of control and their friends are all concerned. He has to do something. Or: Arthur tries to be a good friend by staging an intervention for Merlin’s non-existent drinking problem. Trigger Warnings: Implied alcohol abuse and dependency, swearing, threats, etc. Inspired by this post. Merry Christmas @aconfusedvoid ! Hope you like it!
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Gwaine was, undoubtedly, going to hell for this.
Oh sure, he had definitely earned his place down there long before today with all his drinking, galavanting, fighting, swearing, and wooing of many. But after today? He was most definitely, seriously, unequivocally going to a special place in hell.
Why?
Well because Arthur was staging an intervention for Merlin because of a drinking problem Gwaine knew the younger man didn't have and the knight was enjoying every single moment of it like the little shit stirrer he was.
The king had gathered the round table, Gwen, and even George for the intervention—saying that he was concerned for Merlin and his health and safety, and that he hadn’t invited Giaus because he was afraid the man enabled the behavior. He looked more and more embarrassed the longer he spoke, and honestly it would have been a pretty solid argument had Merlin actually been the alcoholic Arthur thought he was.
Lancelot, Leon, Mordred, and George looked like they wanted the floor to swallow them up—which made sense since the four of them obviously knew what Merlin was actually up to. With George being an assassin, Mored being a druid, and Leon and Lancelot being extremely observant, and all.
Gwaine couldn't help but wonder if they knew that each other knew.
He was willing to bet 20 shillings that the answer to that was no.
Elyan, Gwen, and Percival looked just as concerned about Merlin as Arthur did and yeah, Gwaine was definitely going to hell for how much the whole thing made him want to burst out laughing.
He was made all the more sure of it when Merlin entered with a pitcher and some cups, and stopped dead when he saw the looks on all their faces (Gwaine was sure it was obvious he was holding back laughter based on the glare Arthur was sending him). “If I didn’t know better, I would say this looked like an intervention.”
Nobody said anything.
Merlin shot Arthur a betrayed look. “You told me this was a council meeting!”
Ah. That’s how he got Merlin to willingly come here.
Gwaine couldn’t help but snicker.
Percival elbowed him in the side.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“It was for you not taking this more seriously. Thank you Percival.” Arthur responded, rolling his eyes before turning his attention back to the subject of why they were all here. “Now, Merlin, I’m sorry for bringing you here under false pretences but I—we—are concerned about you.”
“I can see that. You don’t normally have interventions for people you aren’t concerned about.” Merlin scowled as George took the tray and pitcher from him, and crossed his arms. Giving them a baffled look. “What I don’t understand is why—”
“You have a serious problem, Merlin.” Gwen interjected. “Drinking to this extent isn’t healthy.”
The look of complete done-ness on the servant’s face was almost enough to make Gwaine start cackling again. He almost did when Merlin and Lancelot met eyes—no doubt having a silent conversation on how to get out of this mess. The only thing holding him back was the pain in his side from when Percival elbowed him.
But oh how he wanted to.
He probably shouldn’t have found this as hilarious as he did. But he couldn’t help it—the whole situation was just so ridiculous in context.
Gwaine knew he should intervene.
But he didn’t.
He would when he was needed. But for now, he was content with just sitting back and watching to see just how his best friend planned to get out of this.
“I don’t have a drinking problem.” Merlin sighed.
“Says everyone with a drinking problem ever.” Arthur deadpanned, ignoring Gwen’s hiss of “Arthur!”
“What Arthur is trying to say—”Elyan cut in. “—is that we aren’t here to judge you. We just want to help you get better because we’re your friends and we don’t want you disappearing like that again because next time we might not be able to find you.”
“I am going to kill Uncle Gaius for this and then tell mother.” Merlin muttered, only loud enough for Gwaine to hear it seemed before addressing Elyan at a more natural tone. “Yeah…about that…”
“You always take on so much.” Percival frowned. “You take everything so hard and you keep everything negative bottled up inside when you really shouldn’t—”
Merlin looked at Mordred, who have him a sympathetic grimace and Lancelot, who gave a ‘don’t look at me, you get us out of this’ look.
“You should really tell them, Merlin.” George hummed, refilling Arthur’s drink. “He’s been planning this for weeks and they’ve all been oh so worried. They’d likely be less worried if they knew the truth.”
The other servant looked alarmed. “How did you—”
“What are you on about George?”
“What do you mean the truth—”
“Oh for Godsakes.” Leon grumbled, standing up. “Merlin isn’t an alcoholic, he's a sorcerer and he’s been disappearing so often because he’s always trying to save Arthur and the rest of Camelot. Now can we PLEASE just end this and pretend it never happened. This is mortifying.”
The room went silent. Dead silent, one might say.
Gwen, Arthur, Elyan, and Percival all looked like several different things were all dawning on them at once—missing puzzle pieces no doubt appearing and sliding into place explaining things they had been suspicious of like too easily defeated foes, broken branches, and foes speaking in riddles that seemed to make no sense, for instance.
Lancelot looked embarrassed.
Mordred was staring at Leon in shock.
George refilled their cups as if nothing had happened.
All while Merlin stared at Leon gobsmacked.
And just like that the damn that had been holding back Gwaine from laughing broke, causing him to have a fit. His laughter so loud that it echoed throughout the castle and the kingdom.
“YOU KNEW?!” Merlin screeched—eyes moving frantically from Leon to George to Gwaine, shock written all over his face.
“All the servants in the castle know, Merlin.” The other servant rolled his eyes—actually rolled his eyes, which was the most emotion Gwaine had ever seen from the man other than when the meeting had started, that is. “How many times has Giaus scolded you loudly about being careful with your magic with the door wide open?”
Merlin swore, burying his face in his hands.
“I told you.”
“Not the time, Lancelot. Gwaine! Leon! How did you two know?”
“You weren’t exactly quiet when you told the dragon to fuck off, Merlin.” Leon deadpanned, looking exasperated as if he wasn’t just as much of a menace. “Also I recognized Mordred as the druid boy Arthur spared. That along with the bandits tripping over nothing and flying tree branches, not to mention the Lamia not affecting you, made it very clear that you were dabbling in sorcery.”
“Strength.” Gwaine pointed at Arthur before pointing at himself. “And Courage. That makes you magic. Also plates don’t fly by themselves. I would also like to apologize for my previous bad faith comments regarding magic, I was trying to hide the fact that my sister had magic too and may have overdone it a bit.”
Lancelot stared into space, looking as if he was regretting every decision he had ever made in life.
Gwen and Elyan were muttering to one another. Comparing stories. “It all makes so much sense.”
“That’s why Mordred called you EMRYS?! I just thought he was confusing you with the real deal because of how attuned with nature you are!” Percival sputtered, having an existential crisis.
Merlin was two seconds away from a panic attack.
And Arthur?
He looked relieved. “Oh thank god you aren’t reckless enough to risk your life just for the sake of getting sloshed. I was afraid we’d have to lock you in a room to help you detox or something.”
“Arthur!”
“WHAT?!”
“You were gone for three days! We thought you were dead! Can you blame me—”
“How many times have I told you I’ve never been in the tavern?!”
“It was a genuine concern!”
#arthur pendragon#good friend arthur pendragon#gwaine is a little shit#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#the adventures of merlin#fanfiction#one shot#christmas gift
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miku forgorren and deteriorating ok
based on this statue ?
i have no idea what it is or where its from
#art#digital art#vocaloid#my art#fanart#mine#vocal synth#vocaloid fanart#vocaloid art#hatsune miku#i feel like this is horibly edgy#forgive me#i was originally going to make just one drawing#not deteriorated at all#but then my friend told me to make it all broken#so i did#this is your fault tanini how could you#i would finish the bg and stuff but i dpnt feel liek itsll be forth the time
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so sick and tired of constantly stressing over the thought that the people that love me actually don’t or they will inevitably get sick of me eventually because i am inherently unlovable. why can’t my brain just let me be loved in peace? why must i be scared the whole time, waiting for the moment when they abandon me? why can’t i just bask in it while it lasts?
#im perpetually terrified that my partner has only settled for me and will get sick of me eventually.#nothing about him even begins to imply this but im worried about it all the time#i feel like this about friends too. people tolerate me. but im never anyone’s first pick#personal#hm not sure what to tag#mental illness#actually depressed#insecurity#actuallyautistic#< since a lot of my autistic traits are what make me feel just barley tolerated#autism#actuallyadhd#tired of crying to myself cuz i feel so worthless and inherently awful + broken#abuse recovery#doesn’t help that my parents have told me that no one will put up with me or love me like them#because of me and my physical disability/chronic illness#vent#sorry im just. having A Time rn
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hi for the first time in ten years today I went to a Public Structured Exercise Activity (taekwondo) and I feel incredible. I fought so hard for so long against my body and the whole time I thought it was my fault. I thought everyone was in just as much pain as I was and I just had a bad attitude. I have never been able to do something like that before. It didn’t hurt. It felt good. Moving in a body that works feels good.
I’m not even sure exactly how to comprehend what is happening to me. I have been told for a decade that my condition is permanent, that I am never going to be cured, that there is no way to treat this disease. Two days ago I thought to ask my new doctor, whom I’ve been working with for eight months, (not in so many words ofc) if that was true. It’s not. She didn’t even think to tell me because she assumed I already knew. It’s not mostly treatable or mitigate-able or reducible. It’s curable. Full stop. The damage is done but that is also fixable. The long-term genetic conditions can be treated with medication and support items. The disease? is curable. I was lied to for profit margins and insurance premiums. My entire life rotted out from beneath me for ten fucking years. I put myself in significant danger because I assumed there was nothing I could do about it and I needed to just move on, push through. I forced myself to function through seizures, I drove very soon after them which I know now is a huge no-no but at the time I didn’t give a shit. I assumed the doctors I grew up with were honest and trustworthy and they were not.
I can move and breathe and walk and fight and sleep and eat. I can do those things with very little pain, and the pain is lessening by the day. I am curing myself. Praise God, I am not relegated to healthier. I can actually be healthy.
Ten fucking years. Because insurance wouldn’t cover the treatment. And they lied to me.
#If I were a crueler woman I’d kill them#I’d find something breakable and then find a way to BREAK it#That’s not a helpful impulse. I’m channeling it elsewhere#Into taekwondo and work and writing and helping people#But godDAMN am I angry#All the way down to the very core of me I am furious#And it is a blessing for myself and others that I have been given the moral compass I have been#And the limitations I have. Because if I hadn’t people would be dead.#This is disgusting. This is a complete betrayal of the systems put in place to help people#And the Hippocratic Fucking Oath.#Every doctor swears above all else to do no harm and to work to the best of their ability to help people#And every doctor who told me this disease was incurable#Who told my mother it was incurable#Who told my ex and his father and my friend and my sister and my neighbors that it was incurable#Have broken their oaths and as such have forfeited their rights and titles as doctors#And they continue to practice and profit off of that lie#I may not have the rights and responsibilities in this situation to take justice into my own hands but I DO have hands#And a brain that can tell some DAMN good stories#And by the Lord above I will find a way to make this known.#If I have to paint it in the sky or carve it into someone’s flesh I will MAKE IT KNOWN.
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My #3 song on Spotify Wrapped was My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, and I'll have you know I think about SteveTony every. single. time. I listen to it. So what I'm saying is I spent A LOT of time angsting about Stony this year (it's also a perfect Stucky and Cherik song). In summary: when I catch you Steve Rogers when I catch you >:/ 🫵👊
Oh, here we go again. / The voices in his head / Called the rain to end our days of wild
But you should've seen him / When he first got me
Should've known it was a matter of time / Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys
There was a litany of reasons why / We could've played for keeps this time / I know I'm just repeating myself
And I'll tell you that he runs / Because he loves me.
Cause you should've seen him / When he first saw me
Cause I knew too much / There was danger in the heat of my touch / He saw forever so he smashed it up
Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me
Just say when, I'd play again / He was my best friend / Down at the sandlot / I felt more when we played pretend / Than with all the Kens / Cause he took me out of my box / Stole my tortured heart / Left all these broken parts / Told me I'm better off
But I'm not
I'm not
I'm not.
MCU Steve being a close friend (lover) to Tony for years and then throwing it all away and crushing his heart to pieces for Bucky. And then leaving BUCKY for Peggy. He plays with his favourite toys until they're smashed and ugly, then leaves them for a new shiny thing.
#stony#cherik#stucky#spotify wrapped#marvel#mcu#steve rogers#tony stark#x men#stevetony#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#bucky barnes#i could analyze every single line and relate it to these ships#HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!! AHHHHH#TOLD ME IM BETTER OFF like this is so stucky being left at the altar vibes (I mean time machine... same thing)#there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time i know im just repeating myself—tony trying to convince steve to#sign the accords. literally begging him not to make this a fight “because its us!” GAWDDD#and then we compare first class charles to dofp... erik fucking chewed that pretty boy up and spat him out 😭#he took me out of my box and left all these broken parts—their adventures...the hope & home they created together...then erik BROKE HIS LEG#just say when id play again. he was my best friend—tony forgiving steve in endgame and maybe losing everything because of it#once i fix me hes gonna miss me—charles and erik paris proposal. steve hand on arm in endgame. bucky in wakanda.#im sorry this song makes me foam at the mouth pls listen to it and think about these ships
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have any of you seen id: invaded. have any of you seen id: invaded. have any of you seen id: invaded. have any of you seen id: invaded. have any of you seen id: invaded
show of all time
#pleasepleaseoleaseoleasepleasepleaseplease#the brian rot#it's the show ever and i made all my friends watch it and nobody on the interwebs has seen it#i have no profound thoughts about it i just rewatched the first couple episodes and went oughhh anime#this show makes my brain go brrr in a way nothing else has since#it got me into the mystery genre#but because the series is unfinished i am forced to rattle it around in my head with no answers forever#(but please please the main first arc is done but the manga. the manga. they told me nothing.#what are they gonna do with kiki. why is the situation what it is. the answer to the break broken mystery just poses more questions.)#anyway.#normal now.#i had a rough day and it's my comfort show (it is NOT comforting don't expect it to be comforting)#please watch id invaded#repetition#id invaded
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.
#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you#understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl#like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona#career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then#he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment#and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is#and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t#e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r#the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way#like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic#and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w#s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of#respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they#don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief#like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best#friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs#NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that#<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle#and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid#control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push#eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more)#and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in#pressers and on the bench#ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew#has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way#but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand#<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction.#<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho#so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.
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11 years of being stalked and harassed by this man
#i genuinely need him to die#he's not just a danger to me he's a danger to everyone#he has no friends and cant keep a job because he assaults everyone#last job he had he lost it because he physically assaulted his boss#I've seen him hit his friends they stopped talking to him yesrs ago#hit me quite a bit too of course#he's the most violent misogynist i know and genuinely thinks all women are whores#his ex is making a case against him now because he told her he's gonna get her pregnant no matter what#threatening her with what he did to me#i have a video of him saying ''if you didn't wanna have a baby you shouldn't have had sex [with me]''#i dated him from 17-18 and he was 20-21#we're 29 and 31 now and he's only gotten worse#I've had more restraining orders against him than i can count#he's broken into my house before#I'm still 100% for absolishing prisons (he gets worse the longer he stays in there)#but i can't help but hope he stays in there as long as possible because im terrified of him#he's in there right now because he beat up a stranger with a skateboard...#one of the last things he told me was that he made friends w tory lanez but then fought him over giving him ''fake drugs''#(they were in prison together)#(tory lanez is the guy who shot megan thee stallion)#so im sure that says something about his personality too#.bdo
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Shout out to the guy who read:
"I keep trying to warn you where this will lead.
It isn't about what I want or what I think should happen, I'm not endorsing anything, let's be clear, it's about what will happen, really, it's about human nature.
This isn't about what's moral, or what's reasonable, or what you think you can stoke a divisive culture war against, it isn't about my opinion, I did not invent the nature of need, it's about what people have always done when faced with no good options, guns in their hands and staring up at the people sentencing them to suffering and death."
Interpreted it as me saying "gun violence is the appropriate solution" and then threatened me with gun violence for saying it was the solution...
And then deleted his reblog when I pointed out his lack of reading comprehension and blocked him.
Leave alone that he is exactly the kind of disillusioned right wing supporting gun toting reactionary who I was trying to point out will be the ones actually enacting the gun violence [not so much the staunch leftists who believe in the value of human life]... As has actually already been proven at least 3 times now.
I'd like to remind him that I do report people for threats of physical violence and for harassment.
And I'd like to recommend stepping away from the internet and having a nice hot bath or something every time he feels the need to try to make a nasty comment... Before he makes an ass of himself again.
I'd also like to reiterate that I am not endorsing gun violence, I am merely pointing out that this will continue to happen if we stay on this trajectory, and you can't reasonably expect another outcome.
Look at history's example.
You are fucking so deeply with human rights and everyone being able to meet their basic needs that the angry incels who used to be taking aim at women and students, are the exact group who are now looking angrily up at billionaires and politicians, having finally seen who they should be mad at [not an endorsement of them seeing gun violence as the solution], and wow I bet THEY -the largely rich white men who are 'calling the shots'- don't like it when the guns are being aimed at them instead of the women and children they can usually scapegoat...
Maybe try not to literally threaten to shoot the messenger?
I mean, I can also predict that suddenly gun reform will start to seem okay or be dropped as a main talking point by the political right once enough billionaires, CEOs, and politicians are shot/shot at... That's just me pointing out what's a near inevitability... Not me exerting some power to try to make it happen. [I have none]
I'm not the one with the gun, and I'm not the one stripping people of their basic human rights or denying their needs for survival. I have no power to tell people what to do and I have about as much influence as your average tumblr shit-poster at best. That is in fact the MOST power I have in any facet of my life. I'm just telling you what I see happening. If you think lashing out at me solves anything, you are misdirecting that energy, buddy.
#this is like when my roommates would get mad at ME for physics acting the way I said it would meaning their behaviour ended up breaking#exactly what I said continuing that behaviour would cause to break#Like I do not control the physics -OR YOUR BEHAVIOUR- and I tried to fucking warn you#how does that make this my fault because I warned you and am now the one fixing it?#What godlike control over other people and the very laws of nature do you think I have?#I'm not even claiming some kind of clairvoyance it's just all very obvious and I don't know what to tell you man#bruh#Like I told you that if you just kept shoving sink garbage down the drain so you didn't have to handle it as much to remove it#or passively letting it drain down there by not keeping the drain basket in -that the drains would get clogged and it could cause problems#with the plumbing... and now the sink doesn't drain very well and there are problems with the plumbing and you're mad at me?#the guy who's repairing it or getting it repaired at no cost and did not once nag at you that you were at fault?#not once I just looked at you straight in the eyes when you complained about the problem and all the conclusions you drew from that were#your own friend#... and then they'd continue doing the same shit because I repaired it for free once already so they didn't have to feel the consequences#because they got to just take out their frustration with the thing being broken on the guy incapable of fixing it as fast as they'd like#this anger at me makes about as much sense as that#and I have as much patience left for it#maybe try being less miserable and being less miserable to interact with#might end up with a better life and less anger to misdirect
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maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there
#its not just that its also cuz she knew she wouldnt have a lot oftiem in the semester & also shes entitled to her experiences but its like#all summer we talked aboutall the things wed do together whenwe got back to campus so its like#all of that imagining is going to waste you know. and it makes me really really sad#cuz we had so many plans only for all of them to go in the air a week before school starts#and i guess i feel let down about all of it (which isnt her fault) because why did we say all that only for us to break up :(#and she told me breaking up was something sehd only recently started thinking about so its like#the emotional part of me is wondering why cant we just wait it out for a few weeks and find out of this is really worth saving you know#cuz it just feels so sudden like we werent meant to end just yet#it doesnt feel right. like we literally only just started you know#and she said she didnt feel like dragging me along whiel she figured shit out#which is kind btu i guess to me its like i would prefer being dragged along because at least then ill start to feel the pain of it too#cuz where we are right now i didnt even feel any sort of weirdness i thought everything was going so well#like id rather break up when i do feel something bad#not BEFORE i feel something bad you know???#but also its more than just about that. like she told me that she felt werid and i dont think she would have broken up with me for no reaso#like im sure she did it becuase she felt right about it and im not mad at her about it#im just really really sad cuz i really thought we were doing so good. like just last week she was saying how much she missedme#sorry ugh i know im ranting so much about it but i dont feel like bringing this up with my friends yet cuz its just so embarrinsg being lik#hey so you know how totally obsessed we were with each other. well we broke up not even 5 months later haha so embarrsing#like it all just feels like... what did we do all that for!!! what did we spend all summer telling each other we loved each other for!#but again just cuz i didnt feel like it was the end doesnt mean she didn't. she did say she felt werid but ughhhh i dont fucking know#im just really surprised and sad about it
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