#but then i would MISS SLEEPING SO MUCH
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im having. ghostie problems. very normal yes
#nonsense radio#the ghostie problem today is that my sleep schedule is so fucked up and i keep fucking it up more#i need the day to be 48 hours long and for sleep to be biologically unnecessary#but then i would MISS SLEEPING SO MUCH#my favorite part of the day is when i can lay down in bed and just wallow for a while before sleeping but i keep PUSHING THAT TO BE LATER#which then means i FALL ASLEEP FASTER and don't get to wallow as much#woe pain misery etc
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idk if this is accurate but iâve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics weâve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of rizâs magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgugâs gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. rizâs gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an âabsolute sweetie.â like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but theyâd go to war for each other, because theyâre best friends.
#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers#riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves#gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and theyâd both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they canât or it wouldnât make sense. they would if they could.#also#the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. itâs soooo gorgug like thatâs literally him#anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much#especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way#while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily âi would kill for youâ & gorgug is primarily âi would die for youâ maybe#this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me#idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping đ#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw iâm tired
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guilt.
for what? (you pray it wasn't something important)
#submas#is it better or worse to lose your memories i wonder?#on one hand. it's a fresh slate. you can mold yourself into someone New. someone free and kind and who you wish to be.#one the other. who were you? what did you do? who did you leave behind?#were you a good person? (would anyone miss you if you were gone?)#anywayss#the inspiration for this piece made me lose so much sleep but i finished it two days ahead of my own schedule so whatever đ#ingo#emmet#warden ingo#submas emmet#submas ingo#my art
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Send me every little selfie you take so that i can look at them whenever i miss you
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#hate how much im having a picture locket of my beloveds face coded#embarrassing tbh#like pls let me look at pictures of you when i miss you and i canât sleep pls pls pls pls#when i dont have time to text or call you but i miss you#when i just sort of need to stare at you but we arenât together#ughhhhh#i like pictures SO much#but also i would rather die than have a picture of myself exist i hate those things smh#few experiences as mortifying to me as having my picture taken horrible and awful#my brain is itchy just thinking about it#im gay and i like sleeping#also also i am. So tired.#i tried to grammar check all this but god i cannot focus on it lol#so apologies if thereâs nonsenseđ
#time to SLEEP even though i have absolutely NO pictures to stare at longingly smhđ
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As most of you know I try my best to be civil and kind. Iâm too exhausted and the world sucks too much for me to go about making other people feel like shit, itâs not really something I see worthy of my or anyoneâs time really. I try to keep things positive not only because it might brighten someone elseâs day but for my own sake. I curate this space because I know a lot of you feel and experience the same things I do. Do not twist this into me being delusional. I am fully aware the internet can be an unkind place, but that doesnât mean my blog, my space, has to follow that example.
Be kind, be patient, and be respectful, not that the majority of you havenât already been doing so. Asks are open again. Anonymous will be turned on again when I feel comfortable.
Apologies to those who used anon because they were nervous/anxious. I completely understand where youâre coming from and this is nothing against you. Regardless I do hope you stick around, and maybe one day work up the courage to be open with me. Or continue to keep your distance, I completely understand that too.
#I feel like#as my following grows sometimes people forget I am indeed a real person#I see that happen a lot with a lot of creators#people end up feeling like they can be disrespectful and unkind just because they canât see me#but Iâm here#I donât know how much more open I have to be for people to realize I am a person with feelings too#we all are#so maybe just#take a few breathes and relax#I may not say it often but this is a safe space#Iâm not gonna bite you or anything#anyone who knows me personally knows just how patient I can be or how I can give kindness beyond what one may deserve#anyway I hope people have a good day/night#high chance Iâm just passing out again after posting this because I havenât been sleeping well again#eat your favorite thing/something yummy for me would you?#I miss sweets and milk
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these are A BIT OLD but uhhh here check out these aggio doodles i did forever ago. still VERY happy w my colors :3
#this was back in uhhhh jan 2023!! hot dog!! and its still perfeclty good to eat!#i think kian and chip would get along. they could talk about feelings. kian could give chip the therapy he needs. maybe kiss? who said that#jay and rand could also get along i think. smoke buddies. cigarette fans. i bet they could play dnd together. or build a contraption togeth#also WAUHG the way i colored in kira here is SO PERFECT.. SHES SO SPARKLY N PRETTY. ALSO THAT HOOORNN i remember bleeding for that#shading is HARD lighting is HARD drawing a crazy unicorn is HARD but SOOOO WORTH IT I SITLL LOVE HOW IT LOOKES.....#waht else is there. oh yes the prime defender doodles#i love mark so much.... i miss being crazy and strange abt mark winters... i need to draw him killing more people someday#anyway i gotta go to bed soon to keep my sleep schedul on track but I DONT WAANNA!!!! recently relistened to bitb. that might release spore#im also chippin away at that am i in heaven animatic between workin on commissions. I GOT RLY FAR!! i think that i could finish it within#like. 3 or 4 more inspo waves. it wont be unfinished forevcer..... its so close... just 4 more full scenes to rly fleshh out#so basically another 2 years. YEAH BABy. in the meantime i have a backlog of things i can poast. i got plenty o drawings and doodles to sha#alrigh thats all the ramblin im gonna do for now. sleep well everyone hope shool or work goes easy on u in the coming week
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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itâs 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man thereâs just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes itâs throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#itâs fine itâs fine itâs fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so thereâs a lot iâm coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said âmmmmmm now i have u in my gripâ#whatever itâs fine heâs stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesnât miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence itâs wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this youâre one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says donât date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
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i'm just living THAT life (my parents fight every fucking minute but they won't divorce)
#i'm exhausteeeeed#pls just shut up#life would be worse if they divorced but would it really?#every little thing becomes a disaster#they overreact so freaking much#and when i cry cause i'm stressed they tell me i'm exaggerating#SHUT UP#SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AT THEM LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP#the lore is too deep to be shared at this point#going to sleep with white noise (my parents screaming from the kitchen) how lovely#i miss silence in this house#marriage is scary guys what if i am like my parents
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I really don't have time to be bummed out right now so I made them a little sad instead.
#Sad posting I guess? Ah teh dichotomy of feeling tired while also thinking sleeping is a waste of time. Just so much to do! đ¤#connverse#steven quartz universe#connie maheswaran#my shiz#steven universe#su#skedoobles#Messy sketchbook#Also I lost my XpPen nibs. And it's just so out of character of me to not put them where they always were?#It took me this long to realize my screen is scratched up because my current had already worn out. And I can't find the replacement nibs! đ#I always put my extra nibs in the box where I put my laptop is on top of. But they're not there??? But why would I move them? I#seriously could not remember!#Also just in case I mixed them with my older tab's nibs so I checked it..... Those nibs are missing too! Like. Why on Earth????? Why#would I separate the nibs from the rest of that tab! Everything was tucked away inside that box but the nibs aren't????#I am so confused. I'm the only one who could've moved them. But WHY would I do that???? So uncool past me. So uncool. >:(#Anyway.#I barely am finished a single submission for connverse week. đ
I'll try finishing at least that one today#chibi
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#ryuji suguro#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist#ryuuji suguro#bon suguro#suguro ryuuji#suguro ryuji#izumo kamiki#time to go on a mini analysis#because i think this moment is hugely important and rather telling for miss kamiki#tamamo kamiki was shown to be very social and bubbly#but it was demons and her babies she was surrounded by#her would be partner also didn't seem to care for her at all outside of a good time#and the people in the town and shrine didn't care that *she* disappeared#they only cared that she was keeping the head priest distracted and sleeping with him#and the only conversations we hear around her of disapproval of her#i don't think she had any friends outside of the demons at her home and shrine#i think she did it all entirely alone#and that nine tails fed off that until she had the breaking moment of the one adult she thought was on her side dropping her#because all he wanted was *fun*#and her seeing that her daughter has people who came to fight for her and care about her gave her enough peace to finally pass on#and it's utterly heart breaking#so much of this manga is about friendship and connections and what happens when you're isolated or pushed away#anyway i just wanted to point that out because i think about it a lot#rin okumura#konekomaru miwa#shimane illuminati arc#chapter 61#shiemi moriyama#yukio okumura
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I think Jmart would work really well in a Pride and Prejudice au bc I think Jon proposing to Martin while insulting him would be funny.
#a talking bunkat#jmart#tma#The question of who else close to him Jon would be insulting remains. Martin doesn't have a lot of family like Elizabeth#which could be interesting#Also I don't want to write a period piece so like. I would have to make office politics the equivalent of 17th century social hierarchy#but like in other ways it works so well. Tim as Mr. Bingley would be perfect. And Elias could be. Mr. Wickem I guess?#I guess actually that Elias and Jonah could be different characters...#Hm. Something to think about I guess.#Sasha would take Jane's role and then I'd have to come up with a reason for Jon to sabotage her and Tim's relationship...#WAIT UNLESS I CAN WORK NOTSASHA INTO THIS ALSO. And Jon's season 2 paranoia.#Hm. Much to think about.#Martin showing up to Jon's house (the Archives) uninvited on some kind of like. Tour? For a class? Martin goes back to school au?#And obviously Jon doesn't have a sister like Mr. Darcy so Martin meets... Daisy?? WAIT GEORGIE I'M AN IDIOT THEY EVEN HAVE THE SAME NAME-#Hm. Miss. Bingley who would she be... like of I was going purely based on actual relationship it would be Danny but I'm not doing that#I mean we have no evidence that Danny WOULDNT try and get with Jon for his money/social status but let's be fucking real here for a second.#Idk. Literally no one other then Martin is interested in Jon in any romantic way.#anyway none of this matters I should go to sleep.
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â WIP WEDNESDAY (oh hey itâs actually Wednesday)
tagged by @cassietrn and @adelaidedrubman thank you beloveds!!! đđ
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @florbelles @marivenah @simonxriley @voidika @kyber-infinitygems @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @jackiesarch @gwynbleidd @shellibisshe @loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed
this was supposed to be another sw femslash february prompt that I just didnât get around to finishing, so Iâll just toss it out here! Enjoy some space lesbian long distance yearning
The cot offered very little comfort on this particular night. Imogen found herself restless as her thoughts drifted into the vastness of her mind. The empty space beside her felt as cold as the chill outside of her ship. Alone and with no other obligations besides her own, she should have felt relaxed, but Imogen could not shake the insistence within her. It felt like something was missing. Something vital.Â
She missed her.
Imogen flipped onto her side and stared at where Bix should be asleep right next to her. With a sigh, she pursed her lips and closed her eyes, opening her mind to the Force.Â
All around her, she felt the flow of lifeforms. Some were barely a gentle trickle, while others roared like a violent rapid. Imogen searched for the stream that her own life eventually connected to. They were two rivers on separate sides of the same mountain, winding around this way and that. Imogen searched for the convergence point, where the two of their souls connected to make one powerful stream.Â
It never took too long for Imogen to find her. The flow of energy that she knew as Bix always demanded to be felt. Its steady power became so vivid in Imogenâs mind that if she concentrated, she could almost touch the current, feel it flow through her fingers like water.Â
No, not quite like water.Â
Imogen reached out beside her and for a brief moment she felt her hand run through the soft strands of her loverâs hair. The vivid sensation slipped away from her as quickly as it came, but it left Imogen with just enough warmth in her chest to feel a little less alone.
She wondered if Bix felt it, too. So many light-years away.
#oc insp: Imogen Kol#ship insp: if I had a heart#Imogen would not admit to this if you tortured her#missed someone so much that she reaches out through the force just to feel their presence so she can finally sleep?#embarrassing for her lmao
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Holy fucking shit I did NOT survive the wisdom saga
#i misses athena so much and THIS is how shes reintroduced ough augh#her verse in little wolf...#we'll be fine when she said she cant sleep at night anymore BECAUSE OF ODYSSEUS#like odysseus is haunted by the people hes killed/hurt but athena doesnt care about mortals so shes fine. until ODYSSEUS is hurt#sobbinggggg#AND FUCKING LOVE IN PARADISE. ODYSSEUS TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND QUITE LITERALLY BEING HAUNTED BY HIS PAST#AND CALLING OUT TO ATHENA FUCK MEEEEEE#thunder bringer reprise as zeus fails to uphold his OWN RULES and he said something about shame idk what but like. pride is a damsel etc#hes supposed to be above shame and only force it on lesser people but hes NOT bc athena beat him#AND ATHENA OVERCOMING ZEUS WITH THE SOUND OF WARRIOR OF THE MIND#IT WOULD BE KINDER TO SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD /J#epic the musical
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The Cadres dynamics in Chapter 57:
"Courtesy of the Lord of Anielle."
Lorcan gave him a look that said he knew Rowan was full of shit, but began efficiently donning the armor, Gavriel doing the same.
Whether the soldiers around them marked that armor, whether Chaol recognized it, no one said a word.
Lorcan indeed muttered, "Someone better tell her to stop primping and get here."
Rowan snarled in warning.
Fenrys unslung the bow across his back and nocked an arrow into place. Rowan kept his own bow strapped across his back, the quiver untouched, Gavriel and Lorcan doing the same. No need to waste them on a few soldiers when their aim might be needed with far worse targets later in the day. But one of them had to be noted felling soldiers. For whatever it would do to rally their spirits.
And Fenrys, as fine an archer as Rowan, he'd admit, would do just fine.
Rowan followed the line of Fenrys's arrowhead to where he'd marked one of the bearers of a siege ladder. "Make it impressive," he muttered.
"Mind your own business," Fenrys muttered.
Lorcan said to one of them "Save your breath for the battle, not the gods."
Rowan shot him a look, but the man, gaping at Lorcan, quieted.
"Someone better say something inspiring," Fenrys said through gritted teeth, firing another arrow. "Or these men are going to piss themselves in a minute." For a minute was all they had left, as the first siege tower inched closer.
"You've got the pretty face," Lorcan retorted. "You'd do a better job of it."
"It's too late for speeches," Rowan cut in before Fenrys could reply. "Better to show them what we can do."
#The Cadre#Lorcan Salvaterre#Fenrys Moonbeam#Rowan Whitethorn#Gavriel#I wonder what role the ever-illusive Vaughan plays in the dynamicsđ#things that were said in canon#I want the prequel#the dynamics#lol#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Chapter 57#you have the pretty face#make it good#make it impressive#donât miss#the avengers would appreciate them#WOW ladders#courtesy of the lord of Anielle#the smirk in response#we should start a secret society for people who donât sleep#her cadre#Aelinâs cadre is upped sarcasm 1000%#you must charge a great deal for your services. âI need some way to pay for my expensive tastes donât I#love her or hate her youâve gotta admit sheâs got style. Sheâs the inspiration and knows how to make an enterance people.#I love them so much#kingdom of ash quotes#KoA lol (wow what a rare tag)
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Finally some more Dreamling Anastasia AU!
(Obligatory link to the masterpost with all the other posts in this AU - it's also pinned at the top of my blog!)
So, it's been... a while... but I've recently finally got some motivation to write a bit more of this. Apologies to everyone really looking forward to the finale/resolution - I've decided to go all the way back to the start of the story, instead. I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless!
(Tag list: @10moonymhrivertam @martybaker @globglobglobglobob @anonymoustitans @sunshines-fabulous-legs @dreamsofapiratelife @malice-kingdom - since it's been a, uh, really long time, please let me know if you're no longer interested in this AU/fandom and don't want to be tagged anymore, I won't mind! On the other hand, if someone else would like to be tagged in future updates, please let me know!)
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âSister⌠itâs me.â
The man on the dilapidated theatreâs stage shrugs a heavy, moth-eaten velvet coat off his narrow shoulders. It crumples into a dark semi-circle around him, releasing a dramatic cloud of dust.
âDream⌠of the Endless~â
.
âAh. Hm.â A somewhat fussy older gentleman in the empty space usually reserved for the audience adjusts the small circular glasses on his nose, grimacing in a polite and distinctly English way - which he has, once, after first coming to this realm and taking this form, spent hours practising in the mirror - while checking a long list in front of him. âMr⌠Carter, was itâŚ?â
âOh, please.â The man on stage flicks back his white-streaked bangs. âCall me Hal.â
âYes. Of course, Mr. Hal.â The gentleman purses his lips. âThat was⌠not, er. Not terrible, I suppose. And weâre pleased to note that you appear to have⌠brought your own cloak.â
âDonât get used to it. Zelda and Chantal only let me borrow it for the audition.â
âWell, it is a lovely cloak. Only, ah, while Dream of the Endless was known to have quite striking eyes, I do think that, perhaps a little less eyelinerâŚâ
âI could tone it down, I suppose, but I really think the performance would lose something without the makeup.â Hal sighs melodramatically. âI can sing and dance too, if you need it for your⌠what is this audition for, actually? Play? Music hall show? Ooo, one of those moving pictures?â
âEr.â The gentleman fidgets with his cane, grass-green eyes flickering around the empty theatre. âWell-â
âThank you, Hal.â The younger man beside him interrupts with a winning smile that only barely covers the boredom and frustration lining a rather ruggedly handsome face. âWeâll let you know.â
âHm.â Hal, clearly enough of an old hand in the acting business to know a polite âyouâre not getting the role, piss offâ when he hears one, frowns, and bends down to gather up the borrowed cloak, stalking off towards stage exit right with his head held high, not deigning either of the two men with even one more look.
â...I really do not think this will work, young Robert.â The older man mutters, decisively striking through Hal Carterâs name on his list. It is the last. âNone of them look even remotely like him. And the voice-â
âI know, Gil. I know.â The younger man, Hob - only Gilbert is proper and precise enough to call him Robert - rubs at his temples, as if to stave off a headache. âThey never manage to get the voice right, do they.â
âAh, if it were only thatâŚâ Gilbert sighs, setting the list down. His eyes are soft and unfocused, seeing far into a past that has long since been razed to the ground. âHis Lordship, he⌠he had a certain air about him, you understand. An otherworldly strangeness. He was the dream-maker, and dream-made, and to look at him was to gaze upon infinity.â
A soft scoff.
âEven if we claim that he has been greatly reduced by being turned into a meagre human - no offence, dear friend - as long as he does not have some spark of endlessness about him, nobody who has ever met him would fall for the ruse. And we are attempting to con his family. I simply cannot see any viable path to success.â
Hob does not respond, for a moment, picking up one of the flyers on their table.
It reads:
.
SEEKING Actor, slender, pale, tall, dark-haired, in the 20-40 age range to play the role of Dream of the Endless (method actors preferred). Generous pay and further benefits await. Auditions each weekday at 6pm at the Old Whickber Street Theatre, Soho. Ask for Hob and Gil.
.
âWeâll find him.â Hob insists. âThe perfect pretender. Heâs out there, I just know it.â
âWe are not the first fools who have attempted a, a caper of this sort.â Gil points out, almost gently. âNone of the others ever succeeded.â
âYes. Well. None of the others managed to find and correctly identify the late Dreamâs own pouch of genuine dream-sand on sale at the black market.â Hob shoots back, gesturing at the cord just barely peeking out from under Gilâs collar. (Theyâve decided it would be safer if Hob comes into contact with the sand as little as possible, and Gilbert has taken to carrying it as closely to his heart as he can manage.) âItâs hard evidence, Gil, itâs a sign, itâs our chance - and it might just be enough. The trick with a good con is really making it look like youâre giving the mark exactly what they desperately want⌠and thereâs nothing in the world Death of the Endless wants more than to have her brother back.â
.
(She wants it so desperately, in fact, that sheâs offering immortality to any sentient being who manages to procure Dream for her.
And, well.
Thereâs nothing in the world Hob wants more than to live foreverâŚ)
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âYour word in- or, well, kept out of Destinyâs ears, young friend.â Gil sighs, collecting his lists and notes and the remaining flyers, tucking them into his coat and reaching for his cane. âIn the meantime, how about we go down to the public house and have a bit of a snifter to wash away the memories of all those atrocious performances, eh, my lad?â
âBest idea you had all day, Gil.â Hob grins, clapping a hand on Gilbertâs shoulder. âAre you buying?â
Gilbert raises one grey brow. âAt the risk of provoking a joke regarding my non-human status: in your dreams, Robert.â
Hob laughs; and, together, they step out into the winter night, old snow crunching under their shoes and new flakes beginning to drift, gradually, down from the sky.
.
.
.
It has been a decade since the end of the Endlessâ reign.
Ten years since humanity tore Destinyâs book from his hands and burned it.
Ten years since Destruction abandoned his siblings, hiding away in his own, separate exile.Â
Ten years since Despairâs first aspect was killed, and another took her place.
Ten years since Delight went mad with grief and became DeliriumâŚ
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And ten years since Dream of the Endless was captured, bound, turned human, and killed.
.
People still whisper about it. Still speculate, trade gossip and hearsay back and forth. Some insist that the Dream King yet lives, hidden away, turned human, just biding his time, waiting for an opportunity to return to his siblings.
Itâs a lovely legend, Hob supposes. A fitting end and non-end, for the Lord of Stories, to live on in one⌠but thatâs all it is. A pretty tale, which will breathe new life into a myth only for as long as itâs being told. It isnât trueâŚ
âŚbut now, ten years later, Hob and Gil will damn well make it so.
.
.
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Ten years is also, coincidentally, all that a man a few streets down from the old theatre can remember of his life.
Ten years since he was found, naked and emaciated and bleeding, in a ditch next to some countryside road in East Sussex.
Ten years of fighting his way through a life in poverty, with no family, no friends, no-one to care for him, except perhaps the birds.
Ten years of strange and haunting dreams, blurred faces calling out to him with names he can never remember later but knows are his; ten years of waking every morning with tears on his face and a longing for someplace - and someones - he wishes he could remember; ten years of a womanâs voice begging him night after night to come home to her, to them.
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Ten years of being much too busy starving and freezing and barely surviving to spare even a single thought to the dying legends of the Endless.
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This man turns his face up to the sky, snowflakes catching in his dark hair and on his coat like stars glinting in the night; and he shivers, his breath clouding mist-white in the air, curling thin arms around a narrow torso.
(For a moment, just a moment, his eyes glow dark and infinite, a mirror to the night sky and the endless universe beyond.)
And then, he ducks his head down into his scarf, shivers again, and continues on through the snow.
Ten hard years have taught this man better than to waste his time standing about and daydreaming.
#WyWrites#dreamling#the sandman#anastasia dreamling au#it's been 84 years......#i've got a rough draft of a scene or two after this too#endlessly busy with uni of course#and getting back into Good Omens my old love#but i've been feeling like dabbling with this au again lately so why not#and i just HAD to give you Hal doing the iconic coat drop scene#he would have been iconic as drag Dream of the Endless just saying#Hob and Gil are missing out#and the first glimpse of Murphy... I can see it in my mind's eye so clearly#him looking up at the sky with the stars in his eyes and the snow in his hair#and Death forever calling out to him in her sleep#gosh have i missed this au#can't guarantee too much more#but a few more bits are definitely in the works!
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